#i think in this season someone will acknowledge that before ed does

[kermitttttt]

do we actually realise that stede is experiencing romantic love for the first time in his life (i think he loves his children, but aside of that we could even talk about first time experiencing love in his simplest form), and he has no idea about how it works, but still tries running after edward with his little love letter and the “he’s a good man” even though he’s talking about fcking blackbeard that everyone thinks is a death machine, without a single doubting though

he knows he hurt him, and that now he probably hates him, but still believes that the man who showed him true love can’t be a cruel man

they really said “fell first” ed and “fell harder” stede

[laughhardrunfastbekindsblog]

Okay, my one and only major complaint about Bad Batch is that I don't think they handled Tech's death properly (I still don't think they should have killed him off at all, but here we are; and even if they intend(ed) to leave things open-ended to maybe bring him back later, the titular characters in the show wouldn't have known that); and with all the reasons I've seen floating out there as to WHY Tech's death was handled the way it was and why the characters reacted the way they did (or didn't), I just want to explain why none of the "reasons" cut it for me. If you're satisfied with how Tech was handled in season 3, I am genuinely happy for you (and lowkey jealous, ngl 😉). I've just been thinking about this a lot and need to spell it out!

Reason #1: "Why do we need to see more of the characters mourning? What we got was enough. We don't need a 2 hour episode that's all about the characters grieving." (Yes, someone actually used "2 hours" in their argument.)

Let's recap what we got: 1) A scene where Echo looks sadly at the Marauder's pilot seat, Wrecker actually sheds some tears (bless him), Omega's in denial, and Hunter tells Omega they're going to retire on Pabu because Tech is gone... followed up almost immediately by the villain dropping off broken goggles as the only proof that Tech was ever on Eriadu; 2) a scene where the audience is shown Tech's goggles but Hunter doesn't interact with them- instead, he looks at Lula, proving that his driving motivation is recovering Omega (which is fine when taken from the perspective that he can't do anything about Tech, whereas he can do something for Omega; but that perspective is ultimately just headcanon because the show never reiterates or follows up on this); 3) Wrecker alluding to Tech (not by name) to try to convince Hunter to be more cautious; 4) Omega name-dropping Tech (wait, does Crosshair even know what happened?... yay for context clues, I guess); 5) Echo name-dropping Tech in relation to data decryption with the team looking down sadly for 5 seconds (I timed it) before Crosshair changes the subject; 6) Phee name-dropping Tech in relation to her not knowing what m-count is; 7) Crosshair referring to Tech's information on Ventress; 8) Omega leaving Tech's goggles in the Archeum with none of her brothers around (hot take: it kinda bothers me that the goggles are given the same treatment as Lula, I totally understand the context/deeper meaning of Omega leaving her childhood behind by leaving Lula, but we're talking about the one relic they have of their fallen and irreplaceable brother being given the same emotional weight as a doll); 9) Phee referring to Tech having a discussion with her about Crosshair while Tech's goggles are in the background (and, noticeably, Crosshair doesn't react at all and just changes the subject back to needing a ship); 10) Crosshair says the squad died with Tech, Wrecker says Tech understood the risks, and that's that.

So, what we got was enough to establish that the characters were sad in the immediate aftermath of Tech's death, that some of them may have stayed sad about it all through season 3, and that the show didn't completely forget that Tech had been a main character at one point.

What we DON'T get is any real reference to what Tech meant to the family as an individual and a brother, any real indication of how the loss of Tech (distinct from the mission to save Omega) influences his family's actions or the story's overall narrative, any actual acknowledgement in the show of Tech's sacrifice having any meaning or the family moving past grief to express any form of gratitude for Tech's presence and influence on their lives, any reference to Tech having a true impact on 4 of his 5 siblings (Omega is the closest we get to witnessing Tech's continued influence on any of his siblings and even seeing that involves squinting/head tilts at times)... in other words, we get a few minutes of sadness, but never any catharsis. We see they miss him, but never does this truly inform the narrative or their decisions in season 3, AND it's left frustratingly vague where the characters are in the grieving process (more on that later).

Besides, no one (that I have come across, at least) was ever asking for a 2 hour episode. At most, Kanan got a 22-minute "eulogy" episode, and most of us aren't even asking for that. I'd have been at least minimally satisfied with a "Mayday moment" for Tech - and that scene lasted a grand total of 20 seconds. What would have been more satisfying would have been the show taking all those superficial name drops and converting at least a few of them into meaningful mentions indicating what Tech means to his brothers and/or how he continues to have an influence on his family and/or how his sacrifice is a motivating factor for them.

Reason #2: "There was no time."

Leaving aside the fact that there was apparently plenty of time and opportunity to make Tech (among others) a red herring...

Let's assume that the showrunners were not only told they only had 1 season left to wrap everything up, but were given highly specific time allotments for each episode to where they weren't allowed to add any scenes (I highly doubt this is what happened, but we're rolling with the "no time" thing here). You know what you do in that scenario when you're talking about something like following up on a main character's death that clearly has left your entire fanbase in an uproar? You MAKE time: you trim down the action scenes, you make the characters walk a little bit faster, you decide whether an extended scene of Echo giving Omega a crossbow that is never going to show up again is actually worth saving (I actually like the scene, by the way; just giving an example), you cut out a few of the extremely vague lines of dialogue Fennec and Asajj indulge in. What you DON'T do is kill off a beloved main character and then rely on convenient time lapses/time skips to just brush over all the fallout apart from a few name drops that do nothing to establish just how important said character was to the other characters in the show.

What's more, they could have EASILY included some true closure with ANY of the Tech name-drops/scenes that were already in the show. Have Hunter look at Tech's goggles before looking beyond them at Lula in 3.02. Have the brothers be present with Omega when she decides to leave Tech's goggles in the Archeum in 3.11. Have any of the brothers say one meaningful line about Tech while they're otherwise silently basking in the sunshine in the end scene on Pabu in 3.15!

Reason #3: "They're soldiers."

Of all the reasons given for why Tech's death was mishandled, I dislike this one the most. What does CF99 being soldiers have to do with the aftermath of Tech's death being reduced to perfunctory allusions? (If you want to get into the argument that soldiers in general have to figure out a way to "move on" and The Clone Wars didn't really spend any time on the clones processing losses after battles, let me just say I don't care for how this topic is covered in The Clone Wars either, and Bad Batch was a golden opportunity for the Star Wars franchise to move past this unfortunate trope.) Fallen soldiers in real life get memorials/funerals too, even if it's months after the battle. Fallen soldiers are honored and remembered by their families and those closest to them. If the show is trying to push the stereotype that soldiers move on from tragic deaths of comrades by being "stoic" and holding it all in and never talking about it, I strongly disagree with the perpetuation of this stereotype; and if the characters as soldiers actually DID grieve Tech in a healthy way, why didn't the show depict it?

Reason #4: "Star Wars writers don't know how to write meaningful scenes/payoff regarding death and characters dealing with death/loss."

The Bad Batch writers proved time and again how brilliant they are at writing emotional storylines with maximum payoff. Case in point: Mayday. Enough said (I'm writing too much on this general topic as it is).

Reason #5: "They got over it."

Maybe I'm reading things wrong, but a rather drastic change in behavior for one character (going from cautious and weighing all risks, to reckless and jumping headfirst into situations without proper backup), and another character including Tech's death as just one reason why he "deserves" to go on a suicide mission, does not read to me as the characters "getting over it." It reads to me as "avoidance behavior" and "continued internal conflict." (Granted, Hunter's more reckless behavior in season 3 likely had as much to do with the Omega situation as it did Tech's death, but the point still stands. And if the point DOESN'T still stand, then I've got even MORE issues with how this plotline was handled, so we'll just keep assuming it does.)

Furthermore, if the characters had truly "gotten over it," there shouldn't have been any hesitation or issue with them discussing and honoring Tech in meaningful ways.

Reason #6: "They DIDN'T get over it."

Right, and we ended the show that way, with no clear resolution to them actually coming to terms with Tech's death and honoring his memory. Great.

Reason #7: "Whatever. It's good Tech stayed dead. Tech's sacrifice meant something."

... Did it? Did it really? I mean, I know I say quite frequently that Tech's sacrifice is what made the happy ending possible for the others (because that's the only thought that got me through a rewatch of season 3). But the show, the narrative itself, certainly doesn't act like it really meant anything. Hunter says in the season 2 finale that they "weren't going to waste Tech's sacrifice" because they were going to retire on Pabu... and that discussion promptly gets forgotten and never brought up again, not even when the squad is trying to stay off the Empire's radar in season 3 after Omega returns. Never is there any discussion that "not wasting Tech's sacrifice" by hiding on Pabu to make sure no one else dies (a very understandable reaction, of course) also goes against the very mission Tech pushed for in the first place: rescuing Crosshair. Never do we hear Omega tell Crosshair, "Tech didn't give up on you, I'm not giving up on you, that's why you ARE going to escape with me." Never is there any talk about "Tech wanted us to live and stay together, so that is what we are going to do." Never is there any acknowledgement at the end of the show that they are all going to live in peace on Pabu because Tech made sure they could live.

The last half of season 4 of Rebels is full of references to Kanan's sacrifice actually meaning something and having direct tangible consequences not only for the family but for Lothal and the Rebellion. For one thing, the show itself literally spells out that the mission to shut down the Imperial factories on Lothal was actually a success because all the fuel reserves were destroyed - Kanan had died, but the mission had succeeded and directly led to the success of the bigger mission to completely free Lothal, and while this is very poor consolation for the loss of Kanan, at least the show openly acknowledged it. Kanan and his influence is also openly credited for Ezra foiling Palpatine's plans with the Jedi Temple and the WBW, Ezra learning to let go and again disrupting Palpatine's plans in the finale, and doing what was needed to ensure Lothal was fully freed.

Imagine how different Rebels would be if Kanan's death had been treated like Tech's: no mention that his role on the mission had any impact whatsoever. No reference to Ezra or any other member of the Ghost crew living up to what Kanan had taught them all - or, at best, there's a perfunctory reference in the epilogue that Ezra decided to keep using the Force the way Kanan had taught him to. No depiction of Ezra or Hera or Sabine or Zeb accepting Kanan's death and letting go of the pain while holding on to the memories. Nothing to show that any of the Ghost crew members act in memory of Kanan or that he is a motivating influence on them. No indication that Kanan's sacrifice drives Ezra to decide to follow up on their initial success with the factories and ultimately completely drive the Empire from Lothal.

Rebels just wouldn't be nearly as fulfilling.

Now, imagine if Tech's death had been treated like Kanan's, and maybe it will become more clear why I have a REALLY hard time agreeing with the argument that the show itself actually depicted Tech's death as "meaning something."

[izzyshandz]

I swear if i see one more mf say izzy has been 'redeemed' or needed a 'redemption arc' im literally going to scream into my pillow until i lose my voice.

redeem is such a black and white way of looking at his entire character and dismisses everything hes gone through and yall (izzy haters and others) are just so fucking snob nosed and ignorant to sit there and think hes a villain because of how he acted. theyre fucking pirates. theyre not perfect, none of them are. eds a villain, stedes a villain, if youre doing it like that. ed has killed so many people, stede literally left his wife and kids and also had a hand in killing people; it may be easier for them to change because of the perspective the show gives them and they had love but izzy did not. everyone hated him, ed, his own crew, stedes crew.

normalizing peoples reactions to things as something other than villainy and heroism is so god damn important in a show that's trying to accurately involve our perspectives in this day and age. its a tale as old as time, making someone 'completely in the wrong' because their perspective isnt the one you aligned with as much.

like the rest of the crew izzy had his own bad things hes done, he didnt need this 'redemption' everyones blabbering on about. he needed to be fucking heard, to be seen, and acknowledged-- not thrown aside and abandoned because of a whim. you all can ride up blackbeards ass because oh hes so hot, hes so pretty omg wow; but that wont ever change the fact his character is a fucked up person... youre allowed to love him anyways, why not izzy? we didnt see blackbeard before screen but how hes mentioned it shows he was a shit awful person, the only reason no one cares is because on hes fuckin gay for stede or whatever so the main characters get a free ride. ( i agree they all get a free ride, im just tired of this izzy isolation man )

why does he need to be redeemed in your eyes? just because youve seen what hes done? he was literally a product of his environment in season one he was a product of blackbeard's leadership. only with the loyalty and solidarity of the crew did he really begin to find himself, thats fucking hard to do that late in life. instead of calling it some bullshit black and white redemption arc, lets just celebrate izzy being himself and being fucking loved for once in his god damn life.

hes also way more fucking mature and put together than people give him credit for. love you izzy.

edit: thank you all for the reblogs and insights in every single one, i read them i promise i do. im just so mf heartbroken we have to tag things as discourse when its really just about people not being compassionate. (as a couple people have pointed out) i will said id reblog and comment on every single tag but this is my side </3 EVERYONE PLEASE READ THE REBLOGGED TAGS TOO / / theyre so real ! ive also opened up that ask box thingy i havent been on tumblr in yrs and have 0 clue how any of that works if anyone wants my perspective on anything izzy related. *or otherwise ofmd related

[suckerforobliviousidiotsinlove]

I love that this isn’t a “love fixes everything and conquers all” show. I already noticed this with the mermaid scene but also with the new episodes, Ed’s healing isn’t reliant on Stede or his love for Stede. (Discussion of ofmd season 2 spoilers, specifically episodes 3, 4 & 5)

With the mermaid scene, Stede isn’t bringing Ed back to life or being the sole reason Ed wants to live. Ed was already fighting to live, trying to untie the rope and swim up before he heard Stede’s voice. Stede doesn’t show up and rescue him. Stede isn’t the one to untie the rope, that was Ed since this is inside his own head. I think Stede’s voice helped anchor Ed to the living world so Ed had the strength to untie the rope but it wasn’t Stede who was responsible for untying it. Stede also doesn’t pull him towards the surface he’s just there, he makes Ed feel safe there in the water, he’s no longer struggling even though he’s free to swim up now. Stede is a comforting presence there waiting for Ed to make the move to save himself.

And then if we go to the new episodes, particularly episode 5, Ed’s healing isn’t tied to Stede.

Episode 4 shows Ed and Stede talking and starting to fix their relationship which is important because it is the centre of Ed’s latest spiral. They talk and Ed learns the truth and that he is loved. He needs to know this because of his gravy basket admission that he doesn’t think anyone is waiting for him. He needs to know that he does have someone that cares for him still. He also needed to see Anne and Mary being dysfunctional af and know that he doesn’t want that.

Then we get to episode 5 and this is the start of Ed’s personal healing journey that goes beyond his most recent spiral. We start with the apology to the crew, something he’s never done before, and then Ed and Stede’s talk about his probation specifically that the crew needs to feel comfortable around him again, Ed is learning to acknowledge how he’s hurt people.

The majority of the episode though is Ed fishing with Fang. This was so important because he learns that he has been hurting his crew for a whole lot longer than he thinks. Realising Fang was actually scared when Ed thought the games they played were fun is another major step in acknowledging how he has hurt people and that he wants to change that. Him and Fang talking and him finally truly getting to know this person he’s known for 20 years is a step towards this new version of himself that he’s working on. And he made all this progress separate from Stede, they didn’t see each other all day.

This is what I love. Ed isn’t healing for Stede or only with Stede’s help, this journey is his own and Stede is there to support him and so are the other characters but ultimately it’s Ed’s responsibility to make the effort.

[serpentarius]

I'm on my S1 OFMD rewatch before I dive back into S2, and I'm only now realizing something.

So, we can pretty much all agree that Ed's transformation into the Kraken by the end of Episode 10 (and leading into 2x01) is an intense one, especially considering he's only known Stede for a few weeks. (I know the descent into detached violence is primarily egged on by Izzy, but for all intents and purposes, the pivotal trigger is Stede leaving Ed.)

Here's the thing though. Ed's depression and subsequent spiral into the Kraken isn't just about Stede the person. It's about all the things Stede represents.

Sure, Ed's fallen hard for Stede. And for any of us who have gone through a particularly hard-hitting breakup (or been ghosted by someone we really liked), we can easily understand the deep heartache. But there's so much more to it than just Ed's feelings for him.

When we first meet Ed in Episode 4, he's already at wit's end. He's fed up with life and searching for a new purpose. He's already reached legendary status as Blackbeard, so of course the question is: what's next? He even toys with the idea of dying ("Haven't done that before, have I?"), and actively acknowledges that his physical presence on a ship has become obsolete. Just the name and flag alone instil the fear of God into other sailors/pirates. And at this point in Season 1, it doesn't even seem like Ed's super keen on pillaging and plundering, except for when he and his crew get to go into teaching mode when they're showing Stede's crew how to raid. But even that scene goes to show that he only enjoys it when there's some larger purpose at play.

Ed wants to be known for more than the reputation that's currently out in the world. ("Is this what they think I look like? Fucking viking vampire clown with.... nine guns all over him?" & "I'm a ghost. There's no chaos, there's no drama, there's no fuckin' life!")

He's itching to be more than this. He doesn't want to be a ghost, or the "shell of a man" that Izzy later accuses him of being.

And Stede—Stede is the person who sees something more in him. Who allows him to be softer and sillier. A human; not the larger-than-life Mad Devil Pyrate Blackbeard. Ed feels seen, perhaps for the first time in his life. And he proceeds to spend a glorious, genuinely happy few weeks with Stede.

So then cut to 1x10 when Ed's staring into the flame of the candle, eating marmalade in his blanket fort and crying while wrapped in Stede's robe. He sees everything he's lost. He was on the cusp of something new, a chance to break free from the Blackbeard persona - but it was ripped away in an instant, ripped away before he even had a real chance to explore this path.

He desperately wanted to distance himself from Blackbeard, from the Kraken, and thought Stede was his ticket to this happier future. One filled with excitement (and warmth, and good food, and possibly even orgasms). Ed told Stede that the last few weeks were the most fun he'd had in ages, years, maybe ever. And now it's all gone; and he's mourning the loss of that hope.

Where does he go from here?

[jaskierx]

I’m so sorry this is going to be a long one!

I watched season 2 all by myself, without dipping my toes in fandom spaces before I was done. It gets overwhelming, so I only look for fans perception after I’m done watching the whole thing because I don’t want to be swayed in my opinions. Can I say I was a bit shocked by the fan reaction to Izzy?

As someone who was distanced from it, this was my take on him.

I consider myself neutral-positive when it comes to him, I don’t hate him at all but he’s not my fav, and I appreciate him because I’ve always liked the unique energy he brought to the show. He was a fantastic antagonist in season 1, and whilst I like his redemption arc in season 2 as a narrative, I wasn’t 100% sold on it on screen because it felt a little too forced on the writers’ part and frankly felt a little too much like sweeping his past behavior under the rug.

Don’t get me wrong, it made complete sense that Ed’s erratic behavior was more of an immediate concern for the crew, but the lack of acknowledgement from Izzy, after things calmed down, of what he himself did to the crew and to Stede left me a little unsatisfied. He let Ed take the brunt of everything although he played a hand in it. He was aware of how he had facilitated Ed’s spiraling though, which I can appreciate, even if the apology came only at his very last scene. The crew didn’t realize what was happening between Ed and Izzy (Jim saying Izzy was Ed’s friend made me roll my eyes, I get it, but I didn’t like them talking about things they don’t see the whole picture of, but it does illustrate their obliviousness about the situation), and they didn’t know Izzy was pushing Ed’s buttons constantly prior to him snapping. They couldn’t have known at all. I guess Izzy decided to make amends through his actions rather than his words, which is great and commendable (although it felt a little like they glossed over said actions), but the lack of acknowledgment is still there.  

Apart from this main gripe, I still liked his arc this season, he made me laugh, I felt for him at times, and I was bummed that he died. But most of all, I didn’t linger too much on Izzy when watching the season because his presence didn’t feel that big to me. He was nicer, had some great and funny moments but still very much felt like a supporting character popping up here and there.

So, you can imagine how surprised I was when I started seeing so many posts about him, what these were about, and certain things have since then kind of stuck with me.

The one I’ll talk about here is how bizarrely nerfed (as in blander) AND buffed Izzy is in a lot of takes I’ve seen. Like… Izzy is manipulative and twist things around a lot to make himself look better (we’ve seen him do that with Stede so many times). Like when he mentioned Ed cutting his leg off because he said he loved him. I don’t remember those things happening as he told them but go off Izzy. Interesting how Ed pulled the trigger but is considered to have cut Izzy’s leg off himself (when we know Jim and Archie did) but Izzy triggering Ed constantly until he snapped to the point of trying to take his own life multiple times is nothing at all in the mind of some fans, don’t you think?

It’s not a bad thing for Izzy to be manipulative at all, I genuinely think it’s great that he has this trait as a character, but takes after takes willfully ignore that and take his words as face value (but in the same breath ignore when Izzy used the shark metaphor to recognize that he fucked up and deserved to be confronted with just how much he fucked up). It’s such a disservice to Izzy. Let him be manipulative! Stop making him out to be this great guy who does nothing wrong! Is it this much to bear to acknowledge that he does shady things? He’s a pirate! Not a precious angel. That’s one of the best part of his character!

As for the buffing part… I can’t lie, I’m bothered that the show planted the seed that Izzy was the brain behind Blackbeard and taught him everything he knew, especially now that I see fan reactions to it. I don’t think this was what they meant to do at all, but it felt like a way to make Izzy this selfless hero which he never was. I think Stede was trying to butter Izzy up so he would help him, and about Izzy being the brain of the operation, who gives a fuck what Rick thinks? Izzy certainly didn’t take the bait and didn’t give a shit, but some Izzy fans took it very seriously apparently.

If anything, it reeks of racism because in his mind of course a brown man can’t think for himself and needs his white first mate to come up with plans for him. It’s really insulting, and I’m really annoyed when I see that some fans ran with it, rewriting Izzy has this badass pirate when his ego and condescending attitude actually exposed him to be the opposite (being outplayed by Stede in 102, losing the duel on a technicality, but still losing it in 106, being such a terrible captain that he gets mutinied right away in 110). It’s been established very early on that Ed is an amazing sailor and a really competent one at that! His instincts are top notch and he’s a great fighter! I don’t know, this rubs me the wrong way. Seeing his accomplishments brushed aside in favor of making Izzy look better is not it. Let Izzy's ego and rage be an obstacle to his growth!

I don’t know, I feel bad for on-screen Izzy. He’s an interesting character but the way people overinflate his importance in the story and turn him into something he’s not, is sad to see.

I’ll stop there because this ask is way too long already and I’m sorry about that. All this to say, I think the writing on Izzy was a little dissonant in some parts, with some attempts at making him more likeable that were successful, and others that could’ve been less shoehorned. For a supporting character though? I’m happy with what they did with him, just bummed out that his fans don’t really want to see him as he is.

don't apologise for sending long asks. i love getting a lil essay in my askbox have no fear

i agree entirely about s1 izzy vs s2 izzy. in s1 he's a great antagonist. he's in the wrong genre of show, he's incredibly repressed, he gets off on being forcefed his own toe, he has bad middle manager energy, he is the human incarnation of wile e coyote, his entire life goal is to split ed and stede up but he's absolutely incapable of stopping himself from accidentally helping them get together. he fascinates me. terrible person. i hate him. great antagonist

and your perspective as someone who did not spend significant amounts of time reading the worst takes you've ever seen during the hiatus is really interesting! like it confirms stuff that has been brought up before about how for example the season feels incredibly izzy-heavy if you're e.g. me but feels a lot more balanced if you're watching without any kind of fandom-related brainrot.

he's an unreliable narrator. we know this and we've known this from day one. the show makes a point to show us that when he's telling ed that stede didn't want to meet him and he misrepresents what he told stede. and yet the lengths some people in this fandom will go to to insist that everything that comes out of his mouth is gospel. like people just accepting at face value that 'izzy has always managed ed's erratic moods' etc when the only evidence for this is [checks notes] izzy himself making that claim. people will go as far as to handwave and assume that things must have happened off screen in a way that backs up izzy's account.

and your point about how all of izzy's flaws and harmful actions get dialled down while he also gets credit for all of ed's successes is spot on. everything harmful that izzy does is handwaved away as 'oh he was acting in ed's best interests' 'he thought he was doing the right thing' 'it doesn't matter that he threatened ed bc what ed did in response was way worse' etc. and then everything that ed achieves is attributed to izzy having taught him all he knows, having been the brains behind the idea of the blackbeard character. and these are inextricably linked - because in this wild fanon version of the show, izzy is fully responsible for all of blackbeard's intelligence and skill, and he and the crew's ability to earn a living completely relies on ed continuing to be blackbeard, so as long as izzy is supposedly acting with the goal of ed continuing to be blackbeard, he's actually being benevolent and looking out for the crew. even if he's selling them out to the navy. even if he's telling ed that he's better off dead than pining for stede.

btw the way folks go on about the duel in s1e6 is the funniest fucking thing. 'but stede cheated 😤 here's a 20 page essay on why izzy actually won' bestie it's a pirate ship not the supreme court, the winner is whoever the crew decides is the winner. (also stede won based on duel rules so. go off i guess)

but yeah i completely get what you mean. and it's a very common feeling. there are plenty of people who liked canon izzy and really want to be able to enjoy him but that enjoyment gets overshadowed by the amount of shite that comes out of the canyon that completely woobifies him and restructures the entire story to fit around their idea that izzy is the protagonist and a longsuffering victim

anyway. if you agreed with this post please send takes to @canonizzyhours 🌻

[crobones]

how to make izzy's death follow his arc:

ricky wants to kill them all, but he wants to do it slow. one by one. he does not tell them this, but instead says they have a chance to escape if they prove they can behave and join his own personal navy. izzy does not purposely draw the ire of ricky, but ricky singles him out. he knows izzy's reputation and believes killing someone with such renown will be satisfying.

during capture, izzy susses out Ricky's real plan. Jackie still kills most of the soldiers by poisoning them.

Ricky fleas, but Izzy chases him because he has the key to the cell. They fight, ricky gets away. izzy - being fast, graceful, and seemingly unharmed - goes to free the crew solo while Jackie and the rest go to find a commandeer a ship.

When Izzy opens the cell and leads them out, Lucius gasps as he points out that Izzy has been stabbed in the back! Oh no! and it's on his left side!

Archie says that well, Jim just saved Auntie, they can save Izzy too! Izzy tries to protest, and Lucius or Pete tries to stop her, but she's quicker! She pulls out the dagger- oh wow that dagger was bigger and deeper than anyone expected!

Explosions outside, the navy closing in, no time to save Izzy. Besides, he doesn't look too bad. They. Have. To. Move.

Ed, Stede, and Zheng are in the woods being confronted and surrounded by Ricky and his men. Fog rolls in. Cannons and gunfire. Piles of dead leaves going up in explosive flames. There's barking? A voice calls out "This land is cursed!" and another says "There's hellhounds! The pirates have hellhounds!"

Once a curse takes hold, well... Ricky's men are fooled and make themselves vulnerable. Surprise! Jackie and her group show up. She compliments the Swede on his amazingly believable Boston accent. He says he was aiming for British. She says to a shocked and amused Ed, "What, you think I don't know a bit of fuckery?"

Ricky escapes again in the fog of war.

More fight scenes of everyone running to the ship. Cuts between Stede and Co running right, Izzy and Co. running left. Oh, is this a callback to Stede's dream in episode one of the season? Who'd've guessed.

Izzy's fighting style is fluid, and it compliments Jim's and Archie's and Auntie's very well. Auntie hits on Izzy, and he flirts back, but says he's not at the top of his game right now. She says that he's fully capable, even with one leg. Izzy smiles a bit, but it doesn't reach his eyes. Was he really talking about his leg? (Hint: The answer is no.)

Reunion! Ed hugs Izzy. Izzy grunts in pain. Ed apologizes more for having hurt Izzy and then just. Dipping. After a half-ass apology. He deserved more than that. He really is sorry about the leg. It's kinda cool though! Maybe they can paint flames on it when they get back.

Stede, much to everyone's surprise, also hugs Izzy. Izzy grunts again, a little more quiet this time. Stede Notices. Doesn't say anything about it. He thanks Izzy for saving "our crew." They have a moment.

Zheng and Auntie have their moment. Zheng thanks the Revenge for saving Auntie. Auntie lets Zheng be soft. Maybe she can look at Izzy, the other First Mate in the vicinity. They both know that it's healthy to let their captains be soft sometimes.

This all happens at a Very Rapid Pace because! The Navy is still en route!

They get back to the Revenge.

Stede - who has actually been very competent this whole time and not the characature he used to be - suggests they stand their ground, at least until They Kill Ricky.

Ed says risking his life and the crew for the sake of a grudge Is Not Worth It. Stede acknowledges this, but is still angry because He Knows. And he looks to Izzy. Knowingly. Izzy nods, like before. Stede relents.

Frenchie has been letting Izzy lean on him, but is now Actively trying to help him stand.

Izzy stumbles.

Stede lunges towards him and - oh? He's kissing Izzy? Everyone Is Very Surprised. Jackie whistles and says, "Don't think I didn't catch y'all making eyes at each other in the corner last night!" The Swede makes a very Swede comment about the sexual tension he always felt brewing between them. Because this is still a comedy I guess!

Stede tells Izzy he deserves love, and Stede wasn't sure how else to express it.

Ed is Confused. Worried. Mostly Confused. Izzy stumbles again. Worry Becomes Concern. Lucius tells Ed that Izzy lost a lot of blood. Lucius is frowning. Smiling? Crying. He's manic and let's out a wet laugh that sounds more like a sob.

From Ed the audience can hear the most broken and quiet, "What?"

Frenchie is still right there, trying to hold it all in. Izzy tells him it's not healthy to bottle it up, and Frenchie collapses, and so does Izzy.

Roach scrambles, trying to find supplies. Wee John, who is also tearing up, hands him a knitting needle. Roach is confused by this and Izzy huffs a laugh, saying that that kind of needle is too big, and that it's too late.

Ed, "What's too late? Izzy? What's too late!" He runs to Izzy and crouches next to him as Stede helps Izzy lay comfortably.

We see Jim clinging to Archie, who is at a loss for words. Olu is trying his best not to cry, but seeing Jim upset too breaks him.

Black Pete comforts a hysterical Lucius who is clutching the little wooden shark. Pete looks to Izzy and says, "I can't wait to tell people I was a part of Izzy Hands' crew."

Izzy clicks his tongue. "I've been following our constantly rotating list of Captains. At least, I hope so, because I was First Mate." He looks at Ed, who is nodding but trying so very hard not to lose it. "After Blackbeard retired - or some say, lost at sea - we were all proud crewmates of the Great Gentleman Pirate." He looks to Stede. "We were Stede's crew."

Stede shakes his head. He sheds a single tear and says, "Our crew. It took us a while to get there, but we're family." Izzy wipes the tear away and Stede holds Izzy's hand to his cheek. Kisses it. "You'll always be a part of our family."

Ed leans forward and kisses Izzy. We can't see if it was on the cheek or on the mouth, but it surprises everyone. Edlooks between Izzy and Stede. Then again. He says he's learning how to show his love from Stede, and he panicked.

"Oh, Eddie. Chose a great time to say you love me."

Ed gives a sad chuckle. He say, "I always loved- love you, Iz. Always will. Best I can, anyway. I'm sorry I didn't say it enough."

Fang hugs Ed from behind, looking very sad, but is holding back. Frenchie grabs Ed's hand. Ed slowly begins to ugly cry. Fang tells Izzy he was a lovely unicorn.

Wee John starts humming Le Vie En Rose. One by one, they join in. Izzy playfully complains that it sounds horrendous and off key. He starts singing so they can match up, but it's not as strong as the last time.

The camera pans between everyone - those who are singing as well as those who can't find the energy. Then the others, too. Jackie comforts The Swede, who is sniffling and has a seemingly endless supply of tissues. Zheng and Auntie mourne, but give the crew their space.

Camera pans back to the crew. Some are still singing, but only a few. Jim whispers "Eres uno de los mejores." At some point in the song, Izzy subtly stopped singing. The crew saw his final moments, but the audience didn't. They just see Stede close his eyes.

Next, we see Pete trying to fit a wooden ring onto Lucius' finger. Whether the wedding happened yet or not is up to interpretation. Frenchie is wearing Izzy's ascot. Jim is carving a new name into the ship - maybe it's Rosebud or something (shout out to my Citizen Kane fans out there.) Wee John is sewing a new flag that is the cat that Frenchie made in season one, but there's a black X behind the ear and a familiar bell hanging from it's collar. Fang asks Olu, "Where's the captain?" and Olu just shrugs.

Jump cut to a ring hanging from a necklace around Ed's neck. Stede says, "At one point, you're gonna have to tell me the story behind that. He refused to tell me, no matter how much I bugged him about it."

Ed replies, "Maybe next time you're over."

"Are you gonna charge me?"

"Depends. Are you a customer at this fine establishment?" He waves a hand and indicates the rickety inn that's near shambles.

"I'm a friend of the owner."

"Oh really? A friend."

"Maybe more than a friend."

They hug enthusiastically. Then kiss, a bit more cautiously. When they separate, they hold each other's hands. There a small spade, freshly tattooed onto Stede's hand. Stede says, "Well. I guess I'll see you around."

"Yeah. See you around."

Stede is walking away, presumably back to the ship that he uprooted his entire life to have, and worked hard to earn the title Captain. Maybe a dozen yards away, we here Ed call out, "I do love you, you know." Stede pivots to look back. Ed is smiling. It is wide. He is happy. Smash cut to credits, leaving it up to interpretation. Does Stede run back? Does he join Ed? Does Ed decide, you know, he is a good pirate, but the crew could also use a fisherman, because everybody eats.

Who knows! It can end there or meet it's conclusion in a final season three. We can keep the metaphor. Izzy can still die. Fuck you.

[alexjcrowley]

Miss Kringle's fate: A Useless Essay on the Masks of Abuse and Respecting Equilibriums

(Spoiler for Gotham s2)

I am watching season 2 of Gotham and I finally came to the death of Miss Kringle. I'll have to make a premise: I knew she was going to die already (I spoiled myself quite a lot of the show) and Edward was going to kill her. I had thought, knowing nothing more than these two pieces of information, I would hated Edward for this death. I thought he was going to make a 180 degrees turn, become all of a sudden a horrible man who kills the woman who maybe wanted to break up with him, the epitomy of the violent misogynist. I was wrong, and I am pleased about it. I still think Edward is misogynist, just not in the way I think he would have been, in a way I find more sophisticated.

First of all, to analyse Miss Kringle's death, we have to understand why she was killed. I am usually hesitant to automatically define the killing of every woman as a feminicide, I prefer to use that term only when the motive behind the killing of a woman is directly connected to her gender. What I mean is, if there's a bank robbery and they kill a woman because she was the banker and the thugs needed her dead to steal the money, I personally prefer to simply use the word homicide. If a woman is killed by her partner because she wanted to leave them, especially if that partner is a man, I call that feminicide. That's probably just me, but I say that because I thought, before watching the scene, Edward was going to kill Miss Kringle just because she wanted to leave him. It has to be acknowledged he had another reason for his actions, maybe even more important than the fail of their relationship, which is that she was threatening to tell the police he had killed Tom Dougherty. Ed's reaction does not only depend on his broken heart, but on a very practical reason: he doesn't want to go to jail. As much as he seems to only ask for Kristen not to insult him, there are other reasonings in action behind he keeping her mouth shut and stopping her from leaving the apartment. He doesn't just kill her because "woman weak, man strong, man needs to teach woman lesson". He isn't showing he is the strongest in the relationship, he is trying to protect himself. Does that mean he is not guilt of misogyny? Hell no. But I love how the show treats that.

You see, I was worried Edward was going to turn into Dougherty n. 2, especially with the Riddler saying things like Miss Kringle owed them her love and that women likes their guys a little violent. You have become the very thing you swore to destroy, blah blah blah. But that's not wbat the show does, it's not the Riddler to kill Miss Kringle, it's Edward, and he does it staying true to himself.

Let's get a clear vision of the situation: Edward fucked up by telling Miss Kringle he killed Officer Dougherty. It may surprise you what I am going tp tell you, but I understand Edward. First of all, he was genuinely trying to reassure Miss Kringle. The poor girl was worried she was going to get killed for having another boyfriend, Edward was trying to bring her out of her paranoia. Second: there are moments you feel so connected and so in love with someone, you think you could tell them anything. Spoiler: you can't. Most of the time, you fuck up by being too blunt or revealing them something bad about you, this very romantic idea that your person will love forever and ever the entirety of you is not very realistic. I blame lots of romance books, movies and shows for planting this idea into our head, and especially movies for making us believe that real life is just like a film, that there are scenes too romantic and perfect to be spoiled by a single wrong comment. Usually, when you fuck up a moment like that in real life, you are not confessing a murder to your loved one. Edward was, bad luck. I mentioned romance books and movies and tv shows because I genuinely believe Edward mainly relies, on the subject of romance, on those rather than real life experience. I think Edward thought for a moment he was in a movie and he was the hero, now that he got the girl the story simply ended with a "and they lived happily ever after", nothing could ever change that.

Now Miss Kringle's reaction is completely understandable, she gets scared and she starts insulting Edward. Was that the best strategy to go out of that situation? No, of course not, but can you blame her? She just found out her boyfriend is murderer, and quite proud of it.

Anyway, that's when the fun starts. As I said before, Edward DOES NOT switch to the Riddler, he stays himself the entire time. We have to analyse his words and his actions separately.

Let's start with his words. He is pleading. He is embarrassed, he is ashamed, he is clearly losing the verbal debate. Miss Kringle is the aggressive one, Edward is helpless, almost at loss for words, he just prays not to be insulted. He tries to keep repeating his reasons behind his action, but that just makes things worse (Kristen calls him a stalker). This guy is fragile. His ego was already shattered and Kristen is basically beating a dead horse. Miss Kringle is winning, Edward is losing, badly. He is the scared, he is making up excuses, she is insulting him and threatening him. He keeps showing devotion and love to her hoping this will calme her down. He doesn't suddenly turn Tom Dougherty, he doesn't go "You stupid bitch, I saved you, you owe me!", consciously he is aware he is wrong. His words are the part of himself he can control, and with that part he begs for forgiveness and pity. If we were to only hear their dialogue, I'd imagine she is throwing stuff at him while he is curled in fetal position on the floor. Even her more cutting insults don't make him consciously retaliate against her, threating her to kill her like he did with her ex boyfriend, Edward is acting like the weak one.

Now switch it up, and let's analyse their actions: Miss Kringle is running away, logically, Edward is chasing her. I think their movements represent what they're truly feeling in the moment. They have control over their words but their movements reveal their intentions: Miss Kringle may appear aggressive with the insults, but she is scared and she knows she is the one in danger, she wants to get out of the apartment. Obviously Edward is chasing her to regain, at least physically, some closeness, but then, when she tries to run away completely from the apartment he doesn't simply follow her in the stairs or even the streets, he keeps her in the apartment with physical strength. He is asking for forgiveness on the outside, on the inside he knows he also needs to worry about not ending up in prison, and that's what will happen if he let Kristen go. She hits him multiple times, he is hurt, physically and emotionally, but he has a frenzy in his movements, he doesn't take the time to check his wounds, bring a hand to his face, he is immediately on her. Because he knows he is in danger. Because he knows that Kristen's forgiveness is very important, but that he does not end up in jail is even more important, it doesn't matter if he deserves it or not. He doesn't threaten her with words, he is not ready to acknowledge that, but his actions speak clear.

The scene when Edward holds Miss Kringle tp the door saying he would never hurt her, that he is a good man, while he is choking her and putting a hand on her mouth shows greatly this dissonance between words and actions, in his conscious side and unconscious side. Even then, he is not threatening her consciously. He truly believes himself a hero, he is not lying when he says he doesn't want to hurt her.

And that is the reason I like so much how Gotham treats abuse in relationships.

Edward doesn't need to become Dougherty in order to become an abuser. There's a not a magical revelation in which oh, look at that, Edward is actually exactly like Tom, and he starts acting like him and that's who he truly was all along. Edward and Tom are different people, not all abuse look the same and not all abusers act the same, because abuse has different faces, both Tom's and Edward's.

And it's especially great that we see Edward's abuse because it goes to show that just because someone doesn't believe himself an abuser it doesn't mean he is not one. Edward stood up against Tom's abuse but he couldn't see his own. Edward genuinely thought he was acting good in Miss Kringle's regards and him holding her down towards the door, well, it was just a minor thing to keep himself out of jail, it's not like he wanted to hurt her.

Abusers aren't always villains with an evil plan to lure you in a relationship just to hurt you, they may not even realise they're doing wrong (which certainly does NOT excuse them) and I love Gotham for showing this. In the same way Edward did not realise hebwas hurting, to the point of killing, Miss Kringle, even Tom Dougherty didn't think he was abusing her, he just thought "that's how you treat women". Edward may become a supervillain later on the show, but at this point he is just man convinced he is doing no harm to this woman. Because he doesn't want to harm her he is convinced he is not harming her. Because the reason he is choking her and shutting her up is simply because he doesn't want to go to jail and not purposefully hurting her he is convinced he is not harming her. By my definition of a feminicide I gave before, Edward would say it's not what happened, he didn't want to kill her, he didn't want to hurt, he loved her so he can't be guilty of feminicide, but he is. He just doesn't realise it.

Edward is not Tom, he doesn't think he is the strong man who can take down a fragile woman, his ego doesn't get a boost how that he's proved himself to be stronger than a fragile girl, he knows murder is wrong. He never shows to think less of a woman because she is a woman, he is the first to notice and denounce an abuse, he is lean and lanky, he doesn't look like a gorilla who would attack you, more like a shaking leaf you could easily push around. Still, monsters come in more shapes than one.

I want to be extra fair in this analysis so I'll add even something more about Edward's actions. I have seen a few video essays on Gotham and what they all say is that the city is the true main character, the city shapes his characters and leads them into impossible situations that force them to change and act in ways they would have never dreamed of. I think this becomes incredibly evident in Edward's actions towards Tom Dougherty and Miss Kringle.

I'll start by saying this: I justify Edward's murder of Tom Dougherty. And not because Tom is an abuser (although this obviously makes me sympathise with Edward more than with Tom), but because it was the only way out. Listen to me.

Gotham (the show) spends so much time telling us police is corrupted to the bone and cops often cover eachothers' backs, even when the backs they're covering are guilty of serious crimes. This means that denouncing the abuse Miss Kringle was receiving from Dougherty was not only probably useless, but even dangerous. At best, it would have brought to nothing, Dougherty's colleagues would have said Miss Kringle or Edward were lying (and, especially with Edward, they would have tried to say that he was the creep that was making shit up because of his jealousy); at worst, not only that, but Edward would have got retaliation (probably physical, they would have seriously beaten him up) and the abuse on Miss Kringle would have worsened, as a way to intimidate her from ever trying to come forward again.

If you're thinking of some plot of "making Officer Dougherty leave Miss Kringle/falling for someone else", this does NOT solve the situation, it just means a different woman from Miss Kringle would have ended up abused.

The only solution is, sadly, to do justice by oneself, and that involves violence. Now, Edward use the most extreme option, murder, but let's be honest: it's not like he could ever beat Tom up. And even if he could, Tom would have beaten the shit out of him 10 times worse with the help of his friends. It solves nothing. As sad as it is, unless Edward decided to go to Jim Gordon, The Most Honest Man In Gotham, hoping he could something and quickly, murder is the most obvious solution. Edward could not risk Gordon's involvement to make things worse (and also there's this thing that maybe you don't want to advertise that someone is being abused, the abused person has the right not to want the word to spread and Jim isn't exactly subtle). Anyway, Jim Gordon's involvement was not a guarantee of solving the situation, and again, you fail the first time, Dougherty and his pals become more aggressive and dangerous.

Murder is, technically, always a solution for things, I have to add. You don't want to take a test in school because you know you'll fail? You could technically kill your teacher. Emphasis of technically. That would make you not do the test. Of course you don't murder your teacher for a test, it's an absurd and far fetched solution, a test isn't worth a human life and there hundreds of solutions in between murder and accepting to fail the test (copying the test, not showing up, etc.).

The thing with Gotham (the city) is that it's so filthy and corrupted that even something like murder, which is the last solution you should ever turn to, suddenly becomes a very valid option to consider, especially with a situation as serious as abuse. I don't think Edward was crazy to kill Dougherty, I think he was logical. I think he understood way better than Miss Kringle how things work in Gotham.

Again, Edward is a very logical person. He kills Dougherty because it's the only way to get efficiently rid of the problem, he holds Kristen down and doesn't let her leave the apartment because otherwise she would have got him in jail, he holds his hand over her mouth because her screams would have alarmed the other residents of his building. I am sure part of him also subconsciously knew that choking her and simultaneously blocking her respiratory tracts was going to kill her, but it was the same subconscious part that decided Edward being free was more important than Kristen being alive.

Truly, if we take into consideration how Gotham (the city) works, how it's based on an equilibrium of giving and taking, we may as well put the blame of Kristen's death on Kristen herself. When Edward confesses what he had to do to free her for her abuser and he explains his reasons, he has more of a point than he himself realises. He made a sacrifice to the city of Gotham, he took a life, Tom's, to save another one, Kristen's. Kristen is horrified by Edward's actions, which translates directly in being horrified by Gotham's logic.

She tries to do the right thing. The right thing is not compromising, is telling Edward he is a monster and she'll send him to jail. But she dies, because Gotham doesn't work like that, you don't win doing the right thing. She would have got more chances to win if she pretended to think Edward her hero, to think his actions brave, for the moment, and the day after, at work, she would have confessed everything to the police (people hate Edward Nygma, they would have believed her). She could have asked Edward to give her Dougherty's badge as a proof of his love and later present it to the police as proof of the murder. But that, you see, would have involved foul play, that is the way of Gotham Kristen simply abhors. So she uncover all of her cards and she starts screaming insults and she dies for that, because she refused to bend to the rules of the city.

Edward, instead, understands them very well. When he had to choose between Miss Kringle and his moral principles, he chose Miss Kringle. When he had to choose between Miss Kringle and himself, he understood he couldn't have both, and ultimately, even subconsciously, he killed Miss Kringle. He chose himself.

It's not an easy choice, those are true tears he cries over her dead body, but nonetheless he understood he had to choose. And he did, and that's why Gotham granted him to survive another day. The city is alive and controls all of his inhbitants, the ones who thrive are the ones who understands this do ut des, this constant give and take not even Jim Gordon, the epitome of the honest man, can escape, and that's why he bends to asking and doing favours for the Penguin.

Miss Kringle was asked to choose, live a life happily ever after with Edward and a dark secret or denounce Edward when she could, the only two rational options. She chose the third, to get out of the game, to scream and throw the chess board in the air. Refusing to play the game simply means to die in Gotham, and that was the fate she sealed for herself.

The only one who truly always wins is Gotham itself.

I know this is like a lot for somebody who has just started season 2 and it's definitely overthinking and if you're read until this point wow I'm impressed but Gotham burdens me with thoughts

[stedebonnit]

The fact that you would rather have Stede and Ed suffer than be happy together, so much so that you construct an elaborate head canon where STEDE IN PARTICULAR SUFFERS makes you a fucking asshole.

Aksjdhdhs this is so funny to me.

First of all, i dont owe you a response, i want to clarify that you reaching out anonymously to tell me this in this way rather than opening a conversation with me says more about you than me.

But as my first ever anon hate, I want to use this as a teachable moment because this is a big moment that i got anon hate for the first time LOL.

So once, and only once, I will address this.

Personally, I am a therapist in training. My life and career is built on helping people because I love people and see the best in the world as a whole.

Personally, I cannot watch dramas because watching people in (unresolved) pain has a significant impact on my mood.

To add to that, I cannot read or watch things with an unhappy ending, with very few exceptions.

For that reason, i LOVE hurt/comfort. Through my career & my personal life i have witnessed a lot of pain and suffering, and it makes me sad, but its a fact of life. So what I do is i write the pain and suffering that I see, that Ive felt, that i sometimes still feel, and i make it into content that ends happily, with love, support, self advocacy and understanding. I like to have characters comfort one another, but I like to emphasize personal growth. That is, i LOVE when characters can begin to rely on themselves through the process of pain and suffering, rather than only relying on a love interest.

I wonder which of my many posts made you reach out for this comment, because l, of all of the headcanons and writing ive posted within the past two weeks, i believe one (maybe two?) Posts have not ended happily and with relief, acknowledgement, & comfort. So no, enjoying the relief from pain is not something that makes me an asshole. Even if i didnt enjoy happy endings, many people find comfort in those stories because it helps them remember that, even when things end unhappily, there is ALWAYS something to enjoy along the way. You cannot know a person by the content they create, not unless that content frames the abuser or the person causing pain as a protagonist, that MAY suggest something else, but we can never know for certain.

Now, to address why its always Stede.

Ill be honest with you, i have never related to a character more than i have related to Stede.

He is flawed, blunt, oblivious, but hes also kind, empathetic, and someone who sees the best in everyone. When i describe Stede, i describe him as me before I spent years working on myself in therapy, and before i became a therapist myself.

So why do i hurt him so often?

Well, if Im honest, its because I think of the ways ive been hurt, and on top of that i think of the ways i caused MYSELF hurt because i was so blinded by trauma and self hatred that I didnt see it - i didnt see that i was increasing my own hurt, i didnt see that i was hurting others.

I was lucky to have a therapist point this out. The way my self hatred hurt others, the ways it was self-sabotoging.

Stede will see it one day, and I like to create scenarios where he does. I like to explore how this impacts him, often using the lense of how it hurt me.

When i wrote my april fools post about stede, it was after a revelation in my friends DMs about how my own traumatic experience with bullying did, and still does impact my perception of vulnerability.

Importantly, i like to end it with comfort, because i like to remind myself, and others who relate so deeply to stede, that there is hope. We can feel this desperately lonely, this deeply traumatized, and we can come out the other end. We can be deserving of comfort and warmth, we can be self-compassionate. Moreover, that self compassion will make us kinder.

Being kind to myself has made me kinder. I hope some day it can do that for you, anon.

Oh, and my ideal season 2 is an episode 1 reunion. Me coming up with ideas that happen to be angsty doesnt mean i want that. Hence the "eating my own face" at the top of the post LMAO

I hope this helped you understand me a little better, and if Im incredibly lucky, youll think twice before sending something like this to someone else. But i wont hold my breath.

Enjoy the knowledge that you were my first anon hate, and anyone reading this, please remember that this will be the last time i address one of these 🥰

[midorikittykun]

Okay I was going to comment but had too many thoughts in response to this.

I'm going to begin by saying I agree that a majority of what wasn't perfect about OFMD S2 lay LARGELY with the lack of episode time. 8 episodes instead of 10 is an HOUR that was cut compared to first season. Given that the finale was only 30 minutes and what they had to cram into it, they could have done a lot with an extra hour.

Now, was Ed abusive in late season 1/early season 2? Yes, of course. He marooned the crew and cut off Izzy's toes and threatened Jim and Archie to fight to the death or he'd kill them all. That being said, I do think a lot of people are glossing over the context of (a) Ed being truly pissed at Izzy for his betrayals and broken trust (note that Izzy is the ONLY one he inflicts direct violence on) and (b) Ed was desperately needling for SOMEONE to put him out of his misery by making sure they had no choice but to put him down because Ed felt both unloveable AND hopeless, the man was seriously suicidal. (I don't have a great explanation for the marooning "getting rid of Stede's (other) playthings"; given show logic, I guess somebody was bound to row by and pick them up eventually?? Interestingly, in s2ep3 Izzy does allude to marooning someone as being merciful, still giving them a chance at survival, as opposed to just killing them directly and being done with it. Ed didn't want the Revenge crew DEAD, he just wanted them gone.) But still, shit was whack (and the show acknowledges that what he did was fucked up). But what I feel like y'all are totally missing here is that Ed WANTED TO LEAVE PIRACY and Izzy FORCED HIM BACK INTO THAT ROLE WHEN HE WAS MOST VULNERABLE. Stede says, in s1ep1 "piracy is a culture of abuse" YES. Stede represents an alternative path, the option of softness no other character perceived before. WITHOUT STEDE and with Izzy needling him, Ed retreats into that culture of abuse status quo because he no longer feels safe and is completely heartbroken and he feels unloveable (as s2 explores). All characters have all that trauma to unpack (and there are SO many callbacks to valuing softness instead of violence, healing over status quo ALL season) and I don't think it was meant to be glossed over that Ed's trauma response was mirroring his dad.

In s2ep1, Ed says "I'm the fucking devil and these are the kids," Ed does throw shit around like his father did which makes Stede flinch (though I don't think that Stede's flinch and Mama Teach's flinch were at all the same), Ed talks about having daddy issues and the shame of killing his father in the Gravy Basket and again after the Ned Low party crash, Ed reflects on the trauma inflicted on him by Hornigold (his other father figure) in the Gravy Basket and how much he hated him and was terrified of him (similar to his real father), Ed has that interaction with Pop-pop getting violent with him and telling him to "if you were ever good at something, go do that" (another father parallel guiding his behavior). These are all very purposeful depictions of Ed's daddy issues (which Stede ALSO has but the only callback to that this season was surrounding him killing Ned Low). When you hate yourself (which is a common side effect of abuse, as the victim tries to rationalize why their abuser was so awful to them "I must have deserved it because I am BAD, so I hate me too"), it makes sense to act like your abuser, someone you hated. It drags you down a spiral of self-hatred that you believe you deserve with concrete evidence of the horrible things you've done to back it up, which Ed's psyche in the Gravy Basket identifies. This is a very interesting exploration of the way that trauma responses manifest that I feel like most shows don't get into in such an explicit manner.

Now, do I think Ed was Abusive to Stede, specifically? No, absolutely not, given the context and how Stede feels. Ed hurt Stede and startled Stede into flinching (I really don't believe Stede was afraid Ed was going to hit HIM, I mostly think he was unhappy that Ed was so upset by learning such a sensitive bit of information with no context), but no I don't think Ed abused Stede and I don't at any point see Stede as being victimized by Ed in any way. These two instances also occur ONLY in s2ep4, which is immediately after Ed wakes from a coma and is half-dead and still furious about Stede leaving and they'd had zero time prior to the Couch Talk at Anne and Mary's to process any of what happened between them. There's no "pattern of abuse" between Ed and Stede anywhere.

And also...yeah, both instances are also part of the comedy and not meant to be taken totally seriously. Stede wakes Ed from a coma with his love, will we get true love's kiss? No, Ed is still mad at Stede obviously so gives him a headbutt instead. Ed finds out in a really inappropriate way with zero context that Stede "left him for Mary," what does he do? He stands up slowly, politely excusing himself from the table, and turns around and breaks a chair and knocks over a vase while Anne and Mary watch in delight at the drama they caused, then flees to other other room to hide under a blanket. And Stede's little "I told you in confidence" line before he goes after Ed to talk it through. That was funny!

Y'all are really forgetting that Stede isn't actually afraid of Ed. Even when Olu is so adamant Ed will kill Stede if he ever sees him again, Stede has absolute faith that Ed wouldn't do that. Stede yells at Ed for headbutting him! But, again, we're given this "pirate culture" context of "well you hurt me, so I wanted to hurt you." Is that healthy? NO! But Stede doesn't let Ed off the hook for that without acknowledging that was shitty.

Gosh, they spend the rest of the season trying to move away from those mechanisms and going back to talking things through and making positive changes instead. There are so many instances in s2 where "talk it through" is attempted but everyone is so emotionally activated/triggered that other, less healthy coping mechanisms (let's have sex about it, I'm leaving) get in the way! Because nobody gets a damn minute to relax and emotionally regulate so they CAN respond in an optimally healthy way! This is what they'll need to work through in s3 to reach that more "mature love" that David Jenkins has teased.

Also would like to point out that Ed is never violent toward anybody (outside of the English soldiers which are well-established as enemies to ALL our characters) or really anything after Stede opens him back up with his love confession during the Couch Talk. The last remnants of Ed's violence died at Anne and Mary's house once Stede acknowledged that he was staying, that Ed is loveable, and that Ed's "safe space" where he could be himself and be soft was back.

Ideally, I would have liked to see Ed make up with each crew member individually and have a bonding moment, if they had the time. I think it made sense to prioritize Lucius, Izzy, and Fang because those three were closest to Ed in various ways. Lucius was the emotional support, Izzy was Ed's first mate, Fang was Ed's oldest original crew member. Interestingly, they all kind of "get even" through violence. Izzy weaponized shame and threat toward Ed to get him to resume the Blackbeard persona and when Ed did EXACTLY WHAT IZZY SAID HE WANTED, Izzy goes "I had it coming" (I ALWAYS think of the "Be careful what you ask your god for, she just might answer" quote from Ed in s1). Fang is very open about feeling like he got even with Ed "after savaging your body with punches and kicks." Lucius recreates his "overboard" scene with the roles reversed (and admittedly needs pep talks from Izzy and then Black Pete) to be able to forgive and move on. Ed meets both Lucius and Fang with sensitivity and apologizes and expresses desire for closure for them both. Ed does not meet Izzy with this same level of sensitivity but does apologize for his actions. Given that IZZY doesn't apologize to Ed AT ALL for sicking the English on him and Stede and then backing Ed into a corner, I don't blame Ed for this lack of sensitivity since Izzy never showed him any either. Ed falls into some amicable banter with Izzy on the docks but they remain very emotionally distant up until they apologize to one another and are finally truly vulnerable with each other as Izzy is dying.

For the rest of the crew, I suppose Calypso's Birthday was their making up with Ed. It's actually pretty accepted in pirate culture to go crazy on someone or double cross them and that be fine?? Look at Calico Jack, Spanish Jackie, Anne/Mary. Stede is very explicit that Ed told him to his face that he was planning on burning his face off and assuming his identity and "I got over that pretty quickly!" The show acknowledges "I've never had anyone apologize to me before so I thought it was great" and "the bar is on the floor" and tries to work with that, meeting the characters where they are. But Ed clearly makes an effort to make amends and his behavior does change for good. STEDE is the characters' ONLY role model for how to behave in a more healthy way and Stede had no positive role models himself, he was just acting with the kindness he thought was right (opposite of his father and how he wanted to be treated), but good lord the man's got his own shit going on too. Frankly, everybody's a mess but they do the best they can, hence Stede's iconic "life is a dick" line, recognizing Ed's trauma responses for what they are.

I don't hate Ed in season 2. I love him. I am literally Stede looking at the front and back wanted poster list of Ed's crimes going "Oh but he's so lovely, he's just hurting so much 🥺😍" Ed's not a perfect person, none of them are. He's done terrible things but he's not a terrible person, he's a complicated and traumatized person who wants to change, and heal, and be better. Ed's an imperfect person who is loveable and deserves to be loved anyway. That is literally what season 2 is all about. I see Season 1 as being focused largely on Stede, Season 2 focuses more on Ed. They're not out of the woods yet at the end of Season 2 and it sets up Season 3 as the setting where Stede and Ed can finally work through their trauma and build a relationship and life together that brings them true happiness.

Renew as a Crew, COME ON SEASON 3!

so here's the thing

i've seen a bunch of people say on twitter and stuff how... ed's behavior is very abusive and his anger is dangerous and he isn't romantic lead material because of it

and i get where they're coming from

but to me the main issue isn't putting ed in the position of a romantic lead, but not crafting the narrative around his characterization so that it allows for a spicy romantic pirates-in-love narrative instead of...whatever this is.

i'm going to try and explain this. idk if i'll do well but i'll try

the way she show presents stede is as an innocent baby who isn't really equipped for pirate life. he goes into a fugue/disassociative state whenever there's any real violence, apparently, and needs protecting by other characters when things get too rough - for example when ed is telling ned lowe not to take the poker to stede.

that's fine! it's honestly adorable to see a masc character being so soft around the edges and being protected by other characters this way.

(i'm not going to touch on stede's... eh... not great characterization this season rn)

then there's izzy, who is shown as a bit violent, a bit rough around the edges. he's more likely to draw a sword or throw a punch or hit someone with a chair or take a punch like a champ. violence is just part of life for him and that's okay, it just Is, from small things like smacking stede on the ass to bigger things like being wall slammed, it's not all that big or bad for violence to happen around and with him, he tends to give as good as he gets (there's some nuance here but i'm talking the macro themes not the micro of what izzy does vs is done to him)

and finally there's ed

ed is presented as violent (stabbing knives at guys, telling fang to use the snail fork etc) and used to a life of violence, and then in season 2 he's presented as really violent, his anger coming out in dangerous and terrifying ways

and frankly, i'd be super into it if he and izzy were the main ship and that twisted dynamic from the first two episodes of s2 was explored and fleshed out into something deeper

friends to enemies to lovers who fight and fuck. angry pirates who lay hands on each other, who break the whole ship with each other in the heat of passion.

except instead, s2 gives us... abuse. it gives us izzy cringing and lowering his head and trying to protect the kids crew from ed's angry outbursts.

so when stede comes back and he's still soft around the edges and ed headbutts him and it's deliberate, it's... not a great look, and the vibes are a bit skewed

if stede fought back, if when ed struck out at him he struck back, if they fought rather than it being one-sided, if it was friends to enemies to lovers and not presented as healthy, but maybe they can work their way there, who knows, maybe even more like anne bonnie and mary read because hey, they were doing something very similar?

except they were both into it. they were both enjoying the fighting and the fucking and the burning down the house.

stede's not enjoying it.

i cannot describe how much i hate this sequence just because of the way stede flinches

anne and mary don't!! mary jumps at the unexpected bang but she doesnt flinch, she doesn't cover her face like she thinks the vase will be coming for her not the wall and anne? looks so into it

and the thing is that in real life, no, you don't want to date someone who throws shit around, or headbutts you

but in fiction when it's two fucked up people doing this shit together like anne and mary?

that can be fun.

but instead what we've been given is stede flinching and apologizing to ed and then all of ed's...what, semi-redemption???? is done away from the other collection of people he abused, and then he spends some time on a fishing boat wearing a dog collar and everything is fine because he's good now and won't be doing anything bad ever again

and it's just... poor writing. the vibes are rancid.

i spent a really big chunk of time between s1 and s2 defending ed. i kept saying how what he did to izzy by making him eat his toe wasn't abuse, it was a one-off and abuse isn't a one-off thing it's a pattern, and then s2 made it a pattern.

explicitly. explicitly a pattern.

not just one toe but three.

jim saying "you're in an unhealthy relationship with blackbeard"

and all ed offered izzy was a "sorry about your leg" which might've been fine if izzy survived and they could work on this more, but instead that's all the apology and closure izzy will ever get

ed threw a chair and a vase and made stede flinch in fear and stede was right to do that. what part of any of this implies this will never happen again? that stede won't press the wrong button at some point and be on the receiving end? none of it

and if we'd been presented with a s2 stede bonnet who could handle himself and stand up for himself and fight back, then maybe i could imagine that turning into a weird sexy fucked up anne/mary like thing and maybe that could be why they put that episode in, but instead it feels like that episode was going, "look, see, ed's violence is fine because these two are fine with it with each other"

but stede isn't

ed and izzy or ed and stede in an unhealthy battle of a relationship could be such a fun, interesting and downright sexy thing to watch unfold on tv, and could honestly end somewhere far more down the chill end of the spectrum, but that's not what we've been given here

i cannot argue that ed isn't an abuser anymore, and not just of izzy but of the whole crew. he terrified frenchie.

it's not good writing to try and lean into the idea that ed and the pirates are violent and live a life of violence, so it's okay that ed's been violent, while simultaneously presenting his violence as traumatic and abusive, and then less than three episodes later saying oh it's fine now, he's just a little meow meow who can do no wrong, see?

especially considering they had him murdering people at the end of the season. and sure, you can say the english are just cannon fodder and they dont 'count', but they did before. ed explicitly did not kill before, and that included the english, or the spanish, or anyone else. so either they count or they don't, but flipping him on a dime makes no sense.

ALSO

having ed be the son of an abusive man who threw plates at his mother and made her cringe and then having ed kill his father to protect his mother and then a season later having ed become the kind of man who throws chairs and vases and makes his love interest cringe is, again, not bloody optimal

i want to say again i dont CARE about tv always presenting healthy relationships or tv always giving us aspirational goals. i want messy fucked up dynamics and terrible people making terrible choices, and still, to this day, i fucking love ed teach. i would honestly love to have seen them continue with ed's darkness and bring stede into it and see where they went with that, to have stede kill ned lowe and not just bury his feelings in ed but get off on it, enjoy the violence, and see where that led, but no

and so instead all we end up with is a protagonist who is being set up for a lifetime of abuse from an intimate partner, and a romantic lead who abuses his love interests (and yes. izzy is a love interest, he is set up like one and positioned like one and treated like one), frightens his love interests with his violence, is erratic and most of all inconsistently written. he was so sorry about scaring fang as though he hadn't been deliberately terrifying the whole crew for fuck knows how long? what?!

the whole fandom has spent so long saying, "no no, i know stede bonnet irl was a slave owner, but ofmd is using the names and not any real piracy, it's more disney piracy, you know? so that kind of stuff doesnt exist!" and then they flipped around and went "blackbeard is blackbeard and so he is evil and does all these horrible things" and i dont know how to rationalize the two sides of that because it feels so out of place

i'm getting rambly, this isnt a particularly well constructed thought process, i just feel like we were robbed both of a toxic, violent relationship that could be fun to see explored on tv and a soft and sweet love story between two middle aged men exploring their first loves in one fell swoop and there's no way for s3 to bring either of those things back because they got utterly torpedoed by making ed a horrible person

ugh

[thesinglesjukebox]

NOAH KAHAN - "STICK SEASON"

Just to be clear, this post was *not* sponsored by the Vermont Tourism Board... [5.10]

Hannah Jocelyn: Noah Kahan snuck up on me -- I first wondered why Ruston Kelly was opening for this guy who I'd never heard of before. I heard a couple of his songs, they were fine! So I ignored him. Suddenly, last year, a friend (a songwriter herself) was complaining about him, asking "What does the 'season of the sticks' even MEAN?" And from then on, he was everywhere, the same way Ed Sheeran was genuinely grassroots a decade ago before he became the eldritch pop horror he is now. Sheeran and Mumford & Sons ultimately gave us the indie folk of Boygenius and co., as well as Taylor Swift's own forays into indie, all of which I either love or respect. I go to open mics and concerts often, and it's a lot of empowered non-men leading the charge; even the guys I see make more interesting music than "I'm so sad, I'm so fucked up."  And now the pendulum's swinging, so now we are back at WGWAGs, and they don't even have the slick production of the Mumfords. I am not afraid of Noah Kahan; this song just sounds like the banality of fuckboys. I am more afraid of everyone following in his footsteps. Bonus point for actually mentioning COVID, though. [5]

Jacob Satter: Back when they were riding the wave of stardom for the first time, I bought tickets to see Counting Crows and a pre-dreadlocked Adam Duritz was going through it. He spent most of the show baffling the audience by lying flat on his back at center stage, talk-singing his way through August and Everything After, genuinely unable to look success in the eye. I take this trip down memory lane to clarify that when I say that every generation gets the self-actualizing folk dorkery it deserves, I'm not exculpating X while side-eying any COVID-worn millennials who embrace Mr. More-Mumford-Than-Mumford here for their mental balm. [3]

Dave Moore: I can google "is Noah Kahan related to Marcus Mumford" (no) but I can't google "do I hate Mumford and Sons" because despite remembering making fun of and claiming I hated Mumford and Sons at the time, I never wrote anything about them. Now that nothing else really sounds like this, I don't mind it so much. [6]

Leah Isobel: At least Mumford & Sons had the showmanship to drop an f-bomb in the midst of their self-regarding self-flagellation. What does Noah have? The word al-co-hol, leaden and imprecise and sung like it's an unbelievable blasphemy? Grow some balls, dude. [3]

Alfred Soto: He's so earnest that he acknowledges a drinkin' problem and the existence of COVID-19 and must sing as if he wants Mike Posner to sell him a pill to take in Vermont. [3]

Thomas Inskeep: His voice just oozes earnestness, and no, that's not a good thing. But strummy guitar guys never entirely go out of style, do they? If his success makes a Lumineers comeback happen, I swear to God… [3]

Lauren Gilbert: Yes, I could write a snarky review that this is a song for girls who haven't yet left their Folklore era.  And that's true enough; it's a pretty standard folk pop, with too many words pressed into too few lines, the murmurings of someone who spends entirely too much time in their head.  But it's also a pretty good instance of the form.  It has more of a hook than Bridgers, and it's less likely to put me to sleep than Clairo.  And it does feel like the season of the sticks -- like driving my parents' car through the hills of Virginia, dark, leafless trees silhouetted against a grey, featureless sky, thinking only of the person not sitting in the passenger seat. [7]

Mark Sinker: What if “season of the sticks” but it’s good not bad? (It’s such a gorgeous phrase to attempt to use as a negative… ) Plus Noah’s breath control seems kind of terrible -- the snatch at air plus his kinda squeaky voice makes him seem way younger than he even is (which is already way young), and sorry teens but that really dilutes the resigned agony he’s going for here. [6]

Taylor Alatorre: "I've been called the Jewish Ed Sheeran," says Noah Kahan on stage, with apparent regularity. Cheap heat, sure, but it's also self-deprecation as brand-building, aimed at propping up a certain persona by playfully prodding at the weaker and more exposed parts of it -- and suddenly I'm not just describing the stage banter but also the music itself. Kahan spent much of the last year collecting enough guest artist remixes for an unplugged No.6 Collaborations Project, but one of the few Stick Season songs to remain untouched by this process was the title track, which says something about it. It says that this is the anthem, the legacy definer; this is his own private Vermont, and no one but him (and a sold-out arena crowd, inshallah) can ever do it justice. With some reservations, it's deserving of this pedestal. And no, those reservations have not the slightest to do with Mumford & Sons, who are overdue to be treated as a normal, middling rock band and not a portentous class enemy. When teenage Mumford fans were listening to "Hopeless Wanderer" back in 2012, I imagine many of them were playing in their heads the kind of diaristic scenarios that Kahan sings about here, replacing grandiose Biblical allusions with only slightly less grandiose relationship angst. That was always the correct reading, and one can't fault Kahan for opting to cut out the middleman between his and his audience's experiences. "COVID on the planes" is the line that most loudly announces this isn't your father's indie folk, and it's the kind of lyric whose currency will only grow with time, like the transistor radio in "Brown Eyed Girl" or the satellite radio in "Sequestered in Memphis." At the other end of the realist-romantic spectrum, there's "might not have but I did not lose," a waist-deep k?an that's perfectly befitting of a future dorm room staple. Also fitting the dorm room vibe, less fortunately, is the way the phrasing in the chorus is awkwardly chopped up so as to min-max its drunk singalong value, with the line about alcohol of course being the worst offender. It's a testament to Kahan's affability that I want to forgive his more sophomoric tics -- I mean, who wants to be the one to interrupt a drunk singalong? [7]

Nortey Dowuona: When did Noah Kahan develop talent, and why wasn't it with Joel Little? [9]

Joshua Lu: "Stick Season" starts off as a earnestly mopey torch song, with a steady stream of metaphors and rhymes about his post-breakup blues. The causes and effects of this despair are presented straightforwardly, earning an almost comical feeling: the mom forgetting about him entirely, the excessive drug and alcohol use, his victim complex. It's in the second verse, though, that the song takes an interesting turn into self-reflection: "So I thought that if I piled something good on all my bad / That I could cancel out the darkness I inherited from Dad." That same chorus rings differently in this new light, creating an image of a once-fixed man who has returned to his broken default nature, and whose internal sadness was only buried, not cured, by being with the one he loved. There's something quietly devastating about how resigned he is to his fate -- how he knows that he can't heal his pain, only dampen it with the memory of a time when he couldn't feel it. [8]

Wayne Weizhen Zhang: A [2] or an [8] depending on how much this alerts your anti-Mumford and Sons or anti-Lewis Capaldi radar, and whether or not you have a soft spot for self-deprecating white men telling jokes and making confessions at their own expense. We’ll skew higher since this has aged surprisingly well. [7]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: I’ve heard this around seven times and I’m not exactly sure what he’s singing about, but I like the texture of his words as they spill out of his mouth. Kahan will let a syllable last just a bit longer or shorter than I expect, all while singing fast enough that he feels like he’s uninterested in easy signifiers of the contemplative. The banjo feels like a cheap way to keep the song interesting; he doesn’t need it when every guitar strum is so propulsive. [5]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: Loses me after that banjo riff comes in two thirds of the way through. Everything before that is charmingly middling, everything after makes me want to place the entirety of New England under cordon sanitaire. [2]

Will Rivitz: I also love Vermont, having grown up just outside of Boston, and have to admit Kahan's bitter and self-deprecating narcissism quite poignantly encapsulates the sense of drifting listlessly and peevishly through New England's dreary December, mired in one's own solitude and the inexorably self-centered trappings that accompany it. His lyrical acumen is, however, not quite sharp enough to justify exhuming the stomp clap hey brouhaha previously left to rot alongside the word "hipster" a decade ago. If he thinks it appropriate to hire a mandolinist, maybe you were right to break up with him. [4]

Rachel Saywitz: “Stick Season” is a haunting masterpiece, and a triumph for Noah Kahan -- with just a folkloric guitar, illuminating banjo, and a steady kick drum, he traces a love lost with a traveler’s bent and a timeless seasonal metaphor. Wait, this song takes place in Vermont? Wait, he’s American? I can feel the spell breaking, the cloudy haze over my eyes that always appears when I’m listening to mediocre folk-pop by European singers is dissipating. Okay, sorry. Back to normal now. Going to review this again. “Stick Season” is some Lumineers-ass sounding shit. Grow up, stop being a whiny lovesick boy, and pick up an English accent! [4]

Ian Mathers: I'm so pissed that 1. "stick season" is not a reference to hockey which part of my brain irrationally insisted it was; 2. this tweet no longer applies to me. I gave that up for something that's just deeply mediocre, not even entertainingly bad. That the Olivia Rodrigo cover is… fine indicates my problem is less with the song (not bad, kinda standard) and more with Kahan's excruciating indie folk dude presentation. [4]

Will Adams: Outside of a terribly dull EDM feature, I had not heard a single note of Noah Kahan's music until now, so every time I saw his name I would think, "Oh, he does that one song, like 'lady, running down to the riptide, da-da-da'" before correcting myself. Listening to "Stick Season," I wasn't far off: anodyne stomp-clap folk complete with banjo. Instead of a rousing singalong, however, we get a winter doldrum mope-fest where the more a clever line is repeated, the less clever it seems. [4]

Katherine St. Asaph: Big junior-year busker energy. I hope the quad found "once you called me forever, now you still can't call me back" as clever as he does. [4]

Isabel Cole: Mumford-lite, nasal whine, uninspired lyrics: sure. And I, who tend towards particular indifference in the face of men with their guitars, should of all people be somewhere between immune and repelled. But this one fucking got me, I don’t know. There’s something about the unrelenting quickness of the verses, the way it slips heedlessly along axes of register and mood and scope: from the mannered poetry of “all the miles combined” to the indignantly conversational “like halfway through the drive,” from self-pity to self-recrimination, from daddy issues to drinking the pain away. It plunges into melodrama -- “I’m terrified of weather” -- and pivots to a gag, funny enough and also true, about air travel in the era of COVID. He says he’s stuck, and I believe him not because of that line but precisely because the song refuses to alight on any particular complaint for long.

That’s what it’s like sometimes, when you’re in the long process of reconfiguring your life around an absence you never planned for. You scrabble for purchase amidst the concrete and specific, saying all the useless sayable things because the whole truth defies articulation. Your petty irritations and psychological fault lines alike draw you right back into the vortex. You do see him in the weather, which is a way of saying you see him everywhere, and also that you never realized your block had a particular smell in spring until one April morning you found yourself thinking of him and realized it had been a year. You dream a version of him and wake up unnerved and you don’t know if what disturbed you was what the dream got wrong or what the dream got right. You can’t believe you can't talk to him when your uncle dies and when #FreeBritney goes mainstream and every time Marvel puts out a new terrible movie, and in the peculiar gravity of loss these things feel somehow equally consequential.

You wash the dishes and listen to a song that rattles off all these different ways to miss someone and you wonder how long he’ll be the person this type of song makes you think of, and you think about how much he would hate it, how mean he would be about Noah Kahan’s hair, how you have to look up every time if it’s Noah or Noel but you’re still crying at the kitchen sink, how much of your taste was his taste first, how you lost two people, really, because he took with him the person you were when he was here. I am no longer funny, ‘cause I miss the way you laugh. Your head says this is a generous [5], that it’s neither special nor smart enough to quit while it’s ahead, that while the line about being half a heart is trite but serviceable, the clarification of “the other half was you” is unforgivable, truly, taking you out of the song every time. Your heart thinks that so many of the funniest things you’ve ever said were things you only said because he was listening. Noah, not Noel, drops the strumming to sing that line about Vermont one more time and in the emptiness around him you can almost hear the whistling northern wind, the sound of a world turned brittle and cold. Stupid. These fucking songs always do that. It’ll be four years come April. You put the dish in the rack and wipe your eyes with your wrist and before you pick up another dirty plate you hit play one more time. [8]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox ]

[boysnberriespie]

This is gonna be a stupid comparison because the shows were never similar and I never thought of them like that, BUT it’s just for me personally, feels weird that the last two shows I’ve watched all the way through made me sob so intensely over them, but one managed to deeply touch me and move me with its handling of death and horror and grief and pain and made me really feel emotional about characters I knew would die from the beginning characters that could be so easy to just hate, and the other… just didn’t.

More under the cut because I got long winded

To be honest, I was getting death vibes before the season even started, so I had been writing all these scenarios in my head for ways I could see it being beautiful if upsetting, for ways it could be meaningful to the story even, and I just didn’t get that. I objectively don’t like the writing of this episode and it does sour some of the best moments of the season, in a season that felt so much less organized, witty, and neatly wrapped as the first. Did I think it was revolutionary? No, and frankly I did have a lot of criticisms of it that I just didn’t and don’t care to share because I’m a silly fan artist who has been analyzing books 40 hours a week for 4+ years, and I use fandom endeavors for fun. I do think the general optics and vibes of this specific writing choice were off, I think the way he’s (DJ) talked about it has been kind of weird, but most of all it just sucked? His death is meaningful in only the acknowledgement that this hurts Ed (presumably deeply, not that is really sat with), and like? I got that? I got that from the first 3 episodes? I don’t care about fairness (I do but I can live with vaguely bad optics for impactful writing), I just care that there was no real emotional importance to this on a narrative level. And since it lacks even good writing, I do feel hurt by the general bad vibes of it. I just do.

CW: I’m sort of vaguely talking about sui baiting and people’s posts in response to that, but don’t worry I am not here to downplay anyone’s feelings on the matter

That’s the end of that spiel, but for the love of god, if you see someone who seems to actually be in severe emotional distress over this and you do not have kind words or resources or literally anything but snark, please leave them the hell alone. Choose kindness for once in your life. While I think people who are saying this type of upsetting stuff to the cast and crew should not be doing that and should be (calmly and please empathetically) told why that is inappropriate, it doesn’t matter if this response is “over a TV show” they are still experiencing a mental health crisis, and as such should be treated with empathy and care. Crisis management should always be first priority before getting someone to “take responsibility for their actions.”

Anyways sorry to end that on an even bleaker more real life note, I just felt like I should say it. No I don’t think it’s fair that creators get given this emotional weight, and I do believe it’s a more serious thing that can be talked about, I just think the immediate response to admissions of crisis should not be mockery and derision.

[ginjointsintheworld]

Do you think we won't see Leyla and Lauren properly get back together til next season? I know there are 12 more episodes after winter break and anything can happen, but...

How do you want it to happen vs. How do you see it being written?

hm. i think it can go either way. i could see them bringing everything to a resolve s4 and go into s5 with some actual joy lmfao or they could end s4 with lauren and leyla on a hopeful note and taking those initial steps to healing but with work still left to do before they're ready to reunite.

what i'd like to see is leyla switch to the night shift for a bit so that she can continue to focus on her residency and take some space to process everything. meanwhile lauren goes and FINALLY talks to someone she can confide in (cough therapy cough) to work through where this fear came from that made her do something that she knew would hurt leyla if she found out. lauren needs to acknowledge why she took such extreme measures to hold onto leyla when leyla never gave her a single reason to doubt her love and commitment to lauren. otherwise part of leyla is always going to worry that lauren would do something like this again and that's no way to build a relationship.

i'd also like to see jeanie return so that her and lauren can have a proper conversation where jeanie takes responsibility for her failures as a parent instead of 4x05 where we just got the acknowledgement of fault from lauren's side. i think part of lauren, the 7 year old kid that chugged her mom's martini in a desperate bid for her attention, to protect her mom from spiraling into a blackout drunk stupor and got berated for it, needs that closure. to know that it wasn't her fault for her mom's addiction and that she didn't do anything wrong. that she deserved to be unconditionally loved.

but most importantly i'd want to see leyla's side of everything and how she works through processing this massive revelation. maybe lauren ends up confessing to floyd what she did and floyd after a late surgery, goes to find leyla in the ED and apologizes for telling her about the 5th spot like that, he had no idea. but he's here to lend a friendly ear if she needs one and we see them bond more and leyla talk about how she's feeling in the aftermath.

so when lauren and leyla are ready to finally see each other again, lauren is more at peace and in a healthier place to receive the hard things leyla has to say and offer her understanding in return. meanwhile leyla can get the real reasons for why lauren did what she did and maybe her own reassurance that lauren has learned to let go of that fear that's haunted her for so long and take all of that into consideration on whether there's still a future for them. which. spoiler alert of course there is. but leyla tells lauren that she's switching to general surgery because she's found that she really does have a passion for it and she needs this new opportunity that she feels she's truly earned. try as hard as lauren might, the ED will always belong to her, be molded by her. even though this might mean there are periods where they'll be away from each other longer than they want, leyla is always carrying a part of lauren with her. trust in that.

how i think it'll go? we won't get to see leyla's side or thoughts until she's having a pivotol conversation with lauren and i suspect we'll see lauren be sullen and bury herself in work. but i do think she'll talk about this situation in depth with someone, be it floyd or iggy and get some clarity. after some time, lauren and leyla will have another big conversation where we get the picture of their path forward, which i truly think involves leyla switching to general surgery. i mean, it was something were all kind of iffy about right? how sustainable would leyla being in lauren's ED world is especially given the circumstances it came to be. not sure i can really speculate beyond this.... this show has a way of following my expectations yet completely catching me off guard. i know it won't get in depth as we'd like since their hands are tied by 4 other characters' storylines but hopefully the writers give the respect that matches the gravity of the conflict they've put on these two.

[shiplessoceans]

I will never forget. I saw the chemistry in episode three straightaway. I actually paused and rewound Ed staring down at Stede with his arm resting on the OTHER SIDE OF HIS UNCONSCIOUS BODY several times. I made inarticulate noises of shock and gestured to the screen as if imploring someone else in the room to see what I was seeing despite the fact I was by myself in my loungeroom.

I immediately imagined Ed and Stede would make a great couple but I never thought for a second the show would go there. Because middle aged main characters in male dominated swashbuckling historical comedy shows absolutely do not fall in love under any circumstances. I'm not stupid. They want to pander to an audience and my queer ass is never the audience a network wants.

So as always I expected Ed and Stede were an Odd Couple/best friends/bromance situation (ie: Subtextually homoerotic and canonically straight until proven otherwise).

"But ShiplessOceans! Didn't you realise in episode 5 during the full moon scene that it was gonna happen?"

I wish I could say I did. But no.

I did not.

Because I LEGITIMATELY thought they were playing it for laughs.

I saw Ed and Stede have that over the top doe-eyed romantic moment, averted kiss and all and I quickly extinguished the little spark of hope in me, thinking: "Ah... We're meant to be like, hahaha wouldn't it be funny if they were! They're not though. They're just REALLY good friends you guys."

Like... Call me nuts but I am 36 years old and I have seen some shit my friends. This averted kiss moment being played for laughs would not be the first time that has happened in a show or movie. If you want a post listing examples I will provide it.

"Alright. So when did you realise it was gay for real?"

Episode 8.

Yep. The moment Calico Jack asked Stede if he and Ed were buggering each other I was like...waaaaait a minute!

OH. THIS SHOW AND THE WORLD IT CONTAINS ACKNOWLEDGES QUEERNESS.

And not just queerness for the side characters to tick the representation boxes, but for the leads. Blackbeard had been in a relationship with Jack. They had confirmed Blackbeard was queer.

"So that's when you knew Ed and Stede were gonna be a couple."

...

"...right?"

... Um....

"Seriously?! You still didn't know?"

Yeah, look. This is why the kiss actually knocked me on my ass.

My head was swimming with the boot touch at the end of episode 8 but I still couldn't let myself believe it. It couldn't be real because it had never happened before! No show had ever done this! And if it was real... I mean holy shit. The world and how I understood it was about to change. Surely not.

I was basically Dean in a Supernatural meme:

Castiel: "Good things do happen Dean."

Dean: "Not in my experience."

When I realised it was real, was in episode 9.

Because Ed said: "What makes Ed happy... Is.."

And I squeezed the shit out of the emotional support cushion I was gripping onto while watching and said "You!"

And then Ed repeated me.

And I stopped breathing.

The next few seconds may as well have been an hour. Stede's slow smile... How pleased he looked. I watched with my jaw on the floor as he fumbled for a response...

And then Ed went for it.

He kissed Stede and I..

I am not ashamed to say I yelled. Like I screamed.

Loud enough that I scared myself and then grabbed the remote and hit pause and shoved the pillow into my face and proceeded to freak the fuck out.

It was real. I'm not dreaming. This whole show. This whole season. This funny little pirate project I started watching cause the trailer looked cool and I like the actors in it had been a romance the ENTIRE TIME.

And a romance exactly like one I thought I would never see.

When I was younger reading fanfic and watching shows and movies play the gay character off a a tragic figure or something to be mocked or tokenised I used to imagine that one day there would be stories out there that I related to and fucking finally there was one on the screen in front of me right now.

And I just had to hit play and it would be waiting for me. And I could watch it again and again and again and...

I would never want for anything again omg.

Some big validating artistic voice out in that culture shaping tv world had finally made a story for me.

To say my world and my understanding of it changed that day would be an understatement. Those two middle aged men making out on screen saved a deeply ashamed part of myself yearning for hope and I don't think I can ever thank them for what they gave me.

Do you remember how fucking groundbreaking was seeing with your eyeballs Edward Teach and Stede Bonnet kissing for the first time on screen during the first season?

[cricketnationrise]

Over Tacos, With Love

For Nurseyweek2021 Day 3: Romance

Also on AO3

_/ \_

In Nursey’s opinion, there was no worse time to realize you were in love with someone you weren’t dating than in the last semester of college. He thought it should be a universally acknowledged truth, and one that his friends should share. Not that he was going to poll THEM on their opinions of this. Chowder was out because he’d been in love with Farmer since their second date. But mostly because he was tired of hearing Nursey's whining. And Dex was out because – well because if Nursey had learned anything from his gen ed psychology class, one should never tell the control group they were the control.

It’s not like there was any point.

They only had a month left of the hockey season and then a couple months of senior year left after that for them to finish their theses and find a job, not to mention organizing all the end of year shit that piled up for the team: kissing the ice, the passing of dibs, the award dinner…. A semester was practically no time at all. Definitely not enough time to figure out if Dex would be open to dating anyone right now, let alone him in the specific. And even if Dex was up for it, there was no guarantee they’d end up in the same place after graduation or if Dex would want to keep dating after college if it meant long distance or –

Breathing deeply, Nursey tries to relax his muscles and calm down before he triggers an anxiety attack. Dex was on his way back from Murder Stop & Shop and they are supposed to go grab tacos after, but there was no way Dex wouldn’t notice if he looked distressed. And then there would be no tacos. Because Dex would insist on taking care of him, grabbing blankets and water and Nursey’s favorite tea and putting on one of Nursey’s favorite movies and they would be halfway through before Nursey would have remembered that they were supposed to be somewhere else. That definitely hadn’t happened before. No sir.

Dex was a natural caretaker, but that didn’t mean that Nursey wanted to be subject to it today. It was hard enough to be around Dex now that Nursey knew he was in love with him, Dex caring for him specifically would be torture. So.

He gets up and makes his way downstairs and takes out the trash and makes sure there is room in the fridge for what Dex is bringing home. Before he starts down another anxiety spiral while waiting, Dex shoulders the door open.

“Hey you emerged! Can you grab the last two bags from the truck?”

“Sure thing Dexadoo!” says Nursey.

Working together putting the groceries away, Dex nudges him with his hips and elbows playfully while chatting about his morning. Pure torture.

“You ready for our taco date, Nurse?” Dex asks when they’ve finished.

Only barely managing to hide his shock and stab of hope when Dex says the word date, Nursey says “Chyeah let me just grab my coat.”

They keep up a conversation, sarcastic and trash-talky as always, but a separate part of Nursey’s mind is whirring so fast it’s a wonder Dex can’t hear it working overtime.

Nursey must keep up a façade of normalcy on the walk because Dex is acting like he always does around him. At the restaurant, Dex holds the door open for Nursey, and pulls his chair out before he sits down, just like always. Dex makes sure that Nursey’s tacos don’t have any peanut oil because Nursey is allergic but bad at remembering to check when he’s in a new place. Dex holds out his own taco for Nursey to try because “it’s bomb, Nurse, seriously, you have to try it,” and Nursey takes a bite because he’s hopeless.

Everything is so aggressively normal between them Nursey is seriously considering lighting himself on fire before he bursts out of his skin with holding back the torrent of emotions he has for the guy sitting across from him.

Nursey starts to flag down the waiter when Dex coughs a little and says, “I already paid. Got him when you went to the bathroom.”

“You didn’t have to do that, Dex,” Nursey says. “You just paid for the groceries this morning, and it’s not like I can’t afford it.”

“I know that,” Dex says, flushing. “I wanted to.”

“Why though?” Nursey asks.

Now Dex looks confused, and maybe a little hurt. “What do you mean, Nursey? It’s our taco date, of course I wanted to pay,” Dex says.

“Yeah it’s our taco date, but we could have just split it like we always do,” Nursey replies.

“Nurse. Derek.” The use of his first name snaps Nursey’s head up from where he’d been looking at his own lap to avoid eye contact with Dex. “Did you not realize I asked you on a date date?”

“What?” Nursey’s brain grinds to a halt. There’s no way he heard that correctly. Dex asked him on a date? But he’d just asked Nursey if he wanted to get tacos today. Hadn’t he? Thinking back, Dex had been blushing a lot last night, but Nursey had just thought that he’d been overheated from fixing the dryer again. And he had been stuttering. But that could have been from anything, really… Nursey’s brain restarts again in time to hear Dex still talking.

“…Can’t believe I thought you’d actually say yes to me of all people.”

“Wait no, Dex –“

“Let me get out of your hair, we can forget this ever happened –“

“Dex.”

“Good thing I’m already in the basement –“

“Dex!”

“This is so embarrassing, I’ll just go – “

“WILL!”

Dex finally stops moving, one arm in his coat, and halfway out of his seat.

“Please sit back down.” Dex sits, slowly, still blushing up a storm and looking like he’d rather be anywhere but here.

“I said that I didn’t know it was a date. Not that I didn’t want to date you.” Dex lets out a noise that Nursey is absolutely going to chirp him about. Later.

“I’m glad it’s a date, Will.”

“You are?”

“Yeah. I just didn’t realize because you’re always opening doors and stuff for me normally. You ask me to get food with you all the time. I didn’t realize that this time was supposed to be special.”

“Okay that’s embarrassing. I guess was trying to date you all those other times as well so I can see how you might have been confused,” Dex says sheepishly.

“I just thought that you were being my best friend?” Nursey tries.

“Oh my god, Nursey. I’m practically in love with you. The only reason I’m not all the way in love with you is because I’ve been actively trying not to be since there’s only one semester left and I didn’t want to derail your senior year. It didn’t seem fair to ask you to potentially change your post-graduation plans because of our relationship. Chowder’s been on my case to just say something because I’ve whining to him so much over how much I want to date you.”

For the second time in five minutes, Nursey has to restart his brain.

“Wow I should have really given you my poll earlier. Would have saved us some time.”

“Your…poll?”

“My poll about when is most inconvenient to fall in love with someone. Because my answer was the last semester of senior year. But I figured it would bias the results if I asked you.”

“Why would it bias the results?” Dex reaches across the table and grabs Nursey’s hand gently. Nursey’s heart rate speeds up and he can feel his own cheeks warming up.

“You know why.”

“Yeah but, I really need to hear the words, Nursey. Don’t want any confusion, do we?” Dex says shyly.

Nursey takes a deep breath in and out with his eyes closed. Centers himself. He laces his fingers through Dex's. Opening his eyes, he meets Dex’s gaze head on.

“Because I’m in love with you. And I didn’t ask you because I didn’t want to add more pressure to your captaincy. Because I didn’t want to distract you from your thesis or finding a job. Because – mphfff.”

Dex was kissing Nursey. Nursey was kissing Dex back. They were kissing. They were –

– still in the taco place.

Nursey pulls back reluctantly, “Want to get out of here?”

“I really do.”

“Chill.”

[star-anise]

Hey! I recently discovered and devoured the Wild Magic series at my local library, and the romance that developed at the end of the series was actually very upsetting to me. Not only was the age gap huge, the power dynamic was one of a student and her mentor, which felt v wrong to me. I read these at a much older then intended age, and I’m curious to get the perspective on this of someone who read them at the “right” age. Was this gross at 10? How do you feel upon reflection?

When I was 10, I thought it was FABULOUS MAGICAL ID CANDY and would have been upset if the series ended any other way. 

Now that I’m older? I still understand why the relationship works for these people in this culture, but the age gap is genuinely bad optics and teaches kids some bad lessons, like, “It’s definitely great for teenagers to date people twice their ages!”. 

But at the same time, if you gave me the series to rewrite (for example, if anyone wanted to hire me to help create a TV adaptation!), I wouldn’t take Daine and Numair’s romance out, personally; I’d change it to make it more appropriate, both altering their respective ages, giving Daine more development and maturity, than I think you could get away with in 1990s YA, and giving them some time without the student/teacher roles before the romance happens.

Part of why teenagers in our culture are so vulnerable is that there’s an extreme dichotomy between “you are a NAIVE AND INNOCENT CHILDLING you do NOT get to make your own choices” where kids can go right up to 18 having never made any important choices for themselves–not their hobbies, not their studies, not their forms of relaxation, not their friends. They’ve never had a haircut their parents disapproved of, and suddenly they’re shipped off to university with total autonomy. Or, before 18, most kids in most places do not have the right to learn anything more about sex than their parents want them taught; if their parents refuse permission to sex ed in school, they might not know anything about sex. And then they turn 18 and they lose most of the legal protections keeping them safe from predators and it’s open season.

That’s a really bad disconnect. It takes a lot of practice to learn things like “disagreeing with people without completely losing your shit” or “telling someone you love who wants something from you that you don’t want to give it to them” or “telling people vulnerable things about yourself and having that respected”. Those are the fundamental building blocks that make relationships safe, that let you add more reactive chemicals like romance and sex without it all blowing up.

Tortall is in its way this dream of an adolescence where you get to start doing meaningful work right away. In other series, Kel and Alanna chose to pursue knighthood at ten years old, and Neal is like this ~super late entry~ at 14. Pages leave “school” and become squires doing fieldwork at 14, usually. Meanwhile, I knew what I wanted to do when I was 12, and I spent the next twelve years jumping through academic hoops that only vaguely related to that before I could even get close to the kind of work that I wanted to do (and am now doing). I feel like there’s got to be some reasonable middle ground between “Let’s send 14-year-olds into battle!” and “You may begin acting like an adult at age 25″.

A big part of the difference between Daine and actual teenagers is that she’s been functionally treated by everyone in the cast as… if not an adult, then a fully autonomous adolescent who answers for herself. She gets to make all the important decisions about where she lives and what work she does. She’s had authority over fully grown adults since she was like… 13? 14? And all the other adults have completely backed her up in that. The adults around her know she’s young and learning and a little unsteady on her feet, so they provide her education and emotional support and financial resources and social support.

Of course, as a 10 year old, I then thought it totally reasonable that *I* should be able to function as a mini-adult, and that… is not actually realistic, both because I hadn’t had nearly the same enculturation that would prepare me to make those decisions, and everyone else in our society is not really equipped to handle Adolescents With Jobs. 

I’ve held back from writing my dissertation on How I Would Change The Immortals (for example, if someone wanted me to adapt it for TV…) right now, because I have some thoughts on what a more accurate and healthy portrayal of teenage development should be.

Because while kids in our world do need protection as they mature, that maturation cannot just be this purity culture “YOU CAN HAVE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ONLY ABOUT SOMEONE WITHIN TWELVE MONTHS OF YOUR OWN AGE” bullshit. Some of the purity police literally say that acknowledging that teens have sexual thoughts is “sexualizing minors”, as if human sexuality literally only springs into being when kids have passed some magical age.

The truth is the absolute opposite: Kids need safe ways of exploring themselves and their sexuality. A complete absence of things like dating people within a few years of themselves or reading a wide variety of stories about relationships, both good and bad, doesn’t generally protect them; it atrophies their ability to make critical judgments and decisions. Kids need to be encouraged to experiment in whatever way is comfortable for them, and then ask themselves questions like, “How does this make me feel? Do I like this? What don’t I like about it? What would I change if I could? Do I want to do more of this, or stop? What else would I rather do instead?”

This could be anything from an aroace teenager reading books about romance and going, “Yeah, that does not at all sound appealing to me” to a teenager having a crush on their teacher and learning how to handle those emotions in a way that makes it easier for them to have a crush on someone who’s actually a dating possibility, to teenagers actually–gasp!–deciding that a certain kind of sex (including a certain emotional connection and physical aspect) sounds really cool and they’d really like to try it if they can find a safe and willing partner. They might even learn about how to do that safely and find someone willing and appropriate and try it out! And that’s a process that should be supported by not having to lie to adults about what they’re doing, and by proper sex education, birth control, and medical care.

And then when you’re an adult, when you have actual mastery and ability to decide between several different viable life paths… you actually can re-negotiate a few relationships. Relationships can go from adult-child to adult-adult. You’re not nearly as vulnerable. And in that place, there are a lot more possibilities open.