#i think im mad enough i might have the guts to have a talk with her now. sadly it cant be a talk about being shitty to their kid | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mephalis · 4 months ago

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Lungs pushing up daisies - Alt ending

so this is an alternative ending, of what if everything that could go bad, went bad? this is for one comment that asked about it, so here you go! and also fueled by the fact that Argenti did not come home so, yeah :D im debating if i should post another work into the series with just this but i deemed it too short...let me know though if i should? as i am not sure and i thought here would work better LOL! special thanks to Grrrrain who helped me get the flow as well as inspired by some of their own sad hanahaki fic elements! a big inspiration!! click more to enjoy the ending! it follows up from the same fic but the last segment is...different! :D

[3:58]boothill:

What the heck was the name of that drink you got me?? Can’t fudgin’ find it anywhere here, got a mad itchin and i need to scratch it. you son of a nice lady, just had to get me a delicious one. Can’t believe I even forgot to go back and get that last forkin’ drop back at the hotel, what a waste.

Voice text converted into text

[3:59]boothill:

Also what kind of wine do ya like? I reckon it might be one of these red ones, but the guy is offerin’ me white champagne and what not…real fancy soundin stuff, they might be right up your alley.

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[4:24]boothill:

Too late rosey, i got you this red fudgin’ bottle instead of all the others! Darn son of a gun was trying to make me buy the lot of em, he kept on talkin’ and talkin’. Luckily i got somethin’ that always shut em up real quick.

Voice text converted into text [4:25]boothill:

For the record, i did forkin’ pay for it. Got kicked out tho just because they get spooked by a gun so easily. Fudgin’ wussies.

Voice text converted into text [7:32]boothill:

You out in the wild or something? First time I got connection and you don’t! Oh yeah right, hope you got some wine glass or what not, don’t ya have to drink them out of these fudgin’ cups? Forgot ‘bout those.

Voice text converted into text [2:05]boothill:

Think ’m bout to see another knight of beauty, found myself at this lil ol’ station and people here are talking and ravin’ about this knight. Doesn’t sound too shabby, they’re sayin a bunch of stuff about bugs and what not…[intangible]-huh? Wait a forkin’ second…–red hair? [intangible] wait, oh shoot, ha! it is you! I can see your ship from here! Fudge, I had to park my forkin’ motor all the way on the opposite side–would you look at that! Wait, if you’re here then why haven't ya answered any of my texts?

Voice text converted into text [2:12]missed a call from boothill.

----

Boothill tsk’d as the phone call ended with a message about some darn fucking voice message mail box, wherein he would have thought the knight might have been busy or far away from cell service to receive his call, Boothill wouldn’t have bat an eye.

But Argenti’s ship stood right in front of Boothill, and he heard plenty of the folks on the station talking up a storm of how thankful they are for the current residing knight of beauty inside the ship.

“Ey! Rosey!” Boothill banged on the ship’s door, not too rough as he knew how Argenti cared about the exterior of his ship. Despite being a battle knight, Argenti went through many efforts to maintain the ship’s sleek look.

There was no answer.

Boothill was patient, he knew to wait for the right shot, to jump on his hunt. But his patience was a fickle friend, present only when he wanted it to be.

(not after he had heard of the knight getting possibly injured, not when Argenti, the man who’d speak up a storm, brimming with words, was this quiet. It had set his nerves on edge.)

Boothill, maybe overreacting, kicked at the door in frustration. A futile gesture against the unease festering in his gut.

But the door opened far too easily with a beep, enough for Boothill to realize it hadn’t been locked at all.

Realization struck him with grim certainty; if Argenti had been truly absent from his ship, he wouldn’t have left it wide open, right?

He frowned, and stepped in.

There was a silent lull inside, Save for the soft hum of machinery and the distant thrum of the engine in the distant background. Only the sounds of his steps, heavy boots clanging on the metal floor echoed. Boothill had the half mind to close the door behind him properly, before frantically walking around with a search for a pretty red rose.

“Argenti? Ya here?” he called out, quicking his pace. Boothill could already hear the scolding of his Pa for his hasty intrustion in his head.

The sight of the lounge brought back the memory of his stay, and how he woke up from such deep slumber to find himself nearly drooling on Argenti’s pillows.

But Argenti wasn’t there, so Boothill did not give it another thought as he turned.

He blinked at where Argenti’s personal garden of roses sat, surprised to find a new addition added to the side, and stood beside it, the small figure of a wooden carved horse that he had made. It sat right next to the pot, somehow like it belonged there, like it was associated with the daisies next to it.

The daisies, shockful arrays of white and yellow, sparkling somehow just like the roses. Not in the same way, but they had some sort of glow to them that Boothill found himself drawn to.

His hand hovered over them, and at once, he could recall how they felt once long before.

It evoked a memory, soft and easy to tear off, the bundle of rough blanket of wool had many of the petals stuck to it as he once carried a baby–his baby–out of the bed of daisies one sweltereing summer day.

Boothill remembered Argenti once asking him about daisies.

The knight was already a strange fellow, doing whatever he got in his mind when it was aligned with beauty and all that jazz, but it was even a little strange to Boothill. Oddly specific, Where did the fascination of the daisies come from?

Boothill turned once more, not sparing the daisies a second glance.

There was only one flower he was interested in.

"Rosey?" Boothill called out again, stepping into the dimly lit shadows of Argenti's bunk. The room was cloaked in darkness, illuminated only by the soft, shifting hues of the ship.

However, light sparked on at his mere presence, automated.

Revealing Argenti's blanketed figure, slumped over the bed in an unnatural curve.

His red hair sprawled from out of the cover like a wave of crimson river, his form held profound stillness that overturned the concern in Boothill’s heart into chilling dread.

(was he even breathing?)

"Argenti!" Boothill rushed forward, and at once he was hit immediately with the sharp smell of metal tang in the air that could not be hidden by the flora that always acquainted Argenti's.

blood.

He yanked the blanket off of Argenti, and reached to turn his body to face him all together in one motion. His mind raced with the urgency to assess the damage, aid whatever he could to slow down the bleeding of what might be wounds of the battle he was just in, and to call for help from the outside if they were grave enough to make the ever so preserved knight fall. But when he saw Argenti’s face, all action came to a screeching halt.

It was not an open wound, as Boothill had feared.

Boothill wished it was, as he stared at yellow daisies poking out of Argenti’s bloodied mouth.

“..Argenti?” his breath hitched as he called out again with a tremor in his voice, pulling the knight into his arms and watched in horror as Argenti’s head drooped, falling down heavily like a ragdoll.

“Hey,” Boothill said with crackling static, desperation creeping in, haunting realization, “wake up, this ain’t funny.”

Boothill reached to hold his face properly, cupping his pale cheek and ignoring the petal that cascaded its way down. He saw the pot of daisies by the roses, this was just a joke, a cruel joke from Argenti.

A cruel joke from the world.

The pallor of a skin, like a forgotten rose, Argenti’s complexion was ashen. Dried blood stained his lips and trailed down his chin, the front of his shirt, and daisies spilled over his mouth with the tremble of Boothill’s arms holding him, scattering between them and forgotten.

Boothill grit his teeth hard enough he could hear the metal, but everything was muted, numb to him as he curled over Argenti’s cold body. Boothill's fingers twitched in a pathetic attempt to hold Argenti gently, afraid to inflict more pain. The abscense of warmth was palpable, even without his senses.

“Please,” Boothill begged, to Argenti, to anyone. Pressing his ear against Argenti’s chest, despite clearly knowing and his breath caught on his throat with a cry he wasn’t able to shed.

It’s wrong.

“I love you.”

Argenti had confessed more than once, apparent with what he felt but Boothill ran away from it, from confronting it again, from ever mentioning it. He knew Argenti never moved on, it was obvious with the way the knight looked at him, held on to him, spoke to him, smiled at him that made that undeniable.

Boothill let it all unfold, endured the weight of Argenti’s affection with his own hidden beneath lies and pretend, thinking that this much was fine, as long as Argenti would be fine.

The corpse in arms beg to differ.

He should have ran away, he should have cut all contact, but like a fucking selfish weak idiot he was he stayed enough for Argenti to die.

If anyone should have died by this cursed thing, it should have been him.

“I warned you,” Boothill spat, hugging him closer, burying his face into the crook of his shoulder. He couldn’t even pretend when now he felt the cold of his corpse with the skin of his cheek pressed against Argenti’s neck. “Why, why did you keep…”

Loving me?

Boothill clenched his jaw, burnt with despair, “Ya shouldn’t have it! I still, i still–it ain’t possible so how!?”

His questions and anguished cries were met with silence.

Boothill had it first, he had been the one to first fall. He still loved Argenti despite it all, but he rejected him. All because he thought it was for the best.

He was the reason Argenti was now dead.

The devastating cost of his silence, of his lie, now laid bare in front of him.

The dull green eyes of Argenti’s corpse were devoid of his sparkle. The daisies covered with blood, the motionless sick stillness, a grotesque evidence that his life withered away long gone.

“I’m sorry,” Boothill choked on regret and sorrow, “im sorry, i’m sorry–”

He could only cradle Argenti’s corpse close to him, whispering his love into the void.

“I love you, i still love you.”

But his words fell on deaf ears, swallowed by the silence of loss.

#my fic #my writing #hanahaki #argenthill #man was this hard to write

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blackvail22 · 1 year ago

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you know,

maybe its because im not as pretty as the other girls he talks to.

maybe its my circle-but-square shaped head.

maybe its because my face seems too wide and too short, although theyre the same length.

maybe its because i have a bulb on the tip of my nose that makes it seem out of place. awkwardly round, but slightly tilted up.

maybe its because of my eyes. two different sizes, although he swears he doesnt see it. one rounder yet smaller than the other.

maybe its because i dont have the perfect body. i have a hanging stomach and back fat. my gut is bigger than my chest, making my body proportions unappealing. i have wide arms, wide shoulders, wide hands, and wide feet. my dislocated knees created me being "knock-kneed, further confirming my unappealing figure.

maybe its my overbearing personality... maybe i love too much.

maybe its because im mentally and developmentally disabled.

maybe it because of my family and my relationship with them.

maybe i dont look good to his family... i wouldnt "fit in"

typical.

but he says im pretty.....

sometimes.

rarely.

he says im smart...

only sometimes when i call myself stupid.

yet, he called me the r slur.

why do i allow myself to let people treat me this way?

he treats me similarly to my mom.

it devestates me.

though, i cant be mad at anyone except myself.

im the one who keeps letting him back in. im the one who lets him come back after calling me names. im the one who texts him first, sends him good morning, and good night texts. im the one who tries to make him feel loved.

i have given him soo many gifts, expensive gifts. he's given me nothing. im the one that texts him whenever i think of him. if he texted me whenever he thought of me, i might as well have been a stranger!!

i feel like everything has been handed to him in life; he never has to work for anything to get what he wants. im feeding into that, too, which is so sad to say. what has he done to deserve the thousand dollars ive spent on him?

but, i can only be mad at myself.

i try to be pretty,

i try to be kind,

i try to pretend im okay,

but it seems its not enough.

when will it EVER be enough?

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another-stark-sub · 3 years ago

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“Are you in love with him?” - Tony Stark Imagine

Notes: I wrote and editted this in two hours instead of going over my notes. Was gonna be spicy fluffy but it just turned into fluffy, and one of the lines/paragraphs (smth like that i dont remember how long that segment was) is based on/inspired by a fanfic on ao3 I bookmarked. I think it’s debt-free, but I could be wrong. Anyway, I hope you enjoy, and I’m so sorry im not on here more oftennnnn

- - -

“Of course I am. He’s Tony Stark.” You sighed, a weight finally lifted off your chest. “Who isn’t in love with him?”

Bruce blinked a few times, the confusion evident on his face. “Then, why don’t you tell him?”

You scoffed. These geniuses think they know everything, but they couldn’t see what was glaringly obvious to you. “He’s Tony Stark.”

The perplexed expression didn’t disappear from your friend’s expression. So, you explained further, “It’s already a privilege, beyond that really, to be talking to you, to any Avenger. To work with any of you is an honor, and to be friends with you” -you laughed- “it shouldn’t even be possible for someone like me.”

“Don’t say that. You’re amazing, too.”

You tried to find any tick, any clue that he was lying. But Bruce seemed to really believe this. “I know I’m amazing.” You shrugged. “I’m great. I love and I care deeply, and I have a stable job. I have a place for myself, and I take care of myself.” You clicked your tongue. “However, you all, all you Avengers… Forget out of my league, more like off planet.

“And Tony? He said it himself. Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. Add superhero, figurehead, public figure, ex-CEO, and savior of the universe. Bruce, I have confidence in myself, but Tony is something else entirely. No one is worthy of him or his affections unless they’re a god or another Avenger.”

It was hard to keep up with the statistical analysis you were trying to run. The literal one on your hologram and the one keeping your view of Tony in check. So, defeated, you sighed and leaned back in your chair.

Bruce closed his own work and stood across the lab bench. “Weirdly enough, I’m sure none of us Avengers think that way.” After a few taps of his pen against his palm, he added, “Aren’t there fans making posts about you, too? Tony showed me the, uh, Instagram videos.”

You laughed. “Fan edits don’t make an Avenger. Saving the world does.”

He shrugged. “You help us save the world.”

“From inside Avengers Tower on a computer.” You took a deep breath. “Look, Bruce, I appreciate what you’re trying to do. But, I’m not telling him.” You shrugged and brought your statistical analysis back up.

You knew your own worth. You were worthy of an amazing partner and person. Tony Stark, though, was easy beyond that. You had accepted it soon after you realized your own feelings, and while they haven’t dwindled, you knew it was for the best.

~ - ~

Tony had never resorted to this before. It was never a question of his ability to code. In the past, it was because he didn’t need a program or an AI to do it for him. He could always tell if someone was into him. He knew when Pepper was into him. The moment Rhodey gazed at him back in their MIT days. Every single reporter and heiress and model he slept with, he knew when their thoughts turned sexual or romantic.

You, though. With you, he couldn’t fucking tell, and he knew it was because of his own feelings. Tony felt intensely for people before. Pepper, Rhodey, that one reporter all those years ago. However, with you, it wasn’t just that fluttery feeling in his gut or the immediate smile he can’t seem to stop when he sees you. It was the comfort he felt when he heard your voice or the softness he could feel in his heart when he saw a picture of you.

It was like his entire life was full of panic, never resting, never stopping. But when you entered his life with a gentle smile and a quick wit, it felt like he could finally breathe.

It was addicting.

“Sir, I have the calculations.”

“Hit me.”

“Speech diagnostics of you and of Ms. (Y/l/n) are similar. Whenever you speak of her, 79.4% is positive and 18.8% is neutral. Ms. (Y/l/n) has 78.9% positive and 17.2% neutral dialogue regarding you. When she speaks of you, her heartrate increases by 4.6%, and similarly, yours increases by 4.1%. When speaking to each other, heartrate initially increases by 7%.”

Tony nodded. “How does this compare to other Avengers? I gush about Banner like a teenager.”

“Well, sir, while you and Ms. (Y/l/n) have high positive dialogue about other Avengers, all of them have at least a 10% decrease compared to each other. And heartrate varies depending on the topic of conversation.”

Tony snapped his fingers. “Am I excluding all non-super friends? Include any agents, co-workers. Pep isn’t an Avenger after all.”

Friday took two seconds and responded. “You and Ms. (Y/l/n) have a significant difference in speech diagnostics when talking about or to each other compared to any other Avenger, co-worker, and friend.”

When Tony remained quiet, Friday added, “Do you want me to repeat the results?”

“You don’t need to, Friday.”

“But you’re not doing anything with the new information. Would you like me to save these findings?”

“Friday,” Tony warned.

There was silence as the love-wrecked scientist pressed his fist between his brows. Data and cold hard facts said yes, but was it right?

“Sir?”

“Yes, Fri?”

“Would you like me to play examples for you?”

He blinked. “Examples?”

“Yes. Of you and her talking about each other positively.”

It was an invasion of privacy. Tony shouldn’t.

“Play examples.”

Before his rational mind could tell Friday no.

“Are you in love with him?”

Tony’s eyes widened. This was too private. It might not even be about him.”Friday-”

“Of course I am.”

“-stop playback.”

“He’s Tony Sta-”

“Playback stopped.”

Tony scrambled. “What? No, wait, go back. Play it.” Screw rational. You knew he was a narcissist. You wouldn’t expect him to hear that and stop.

“He’s Tony Stark. Who isn’t in love with him?”

“Then, why don’t you tell him?”

“... He’s Tony Stark.”

Tony started to fiddle with something on his desk. “What does that mean?”

Friday answered, “Dr. Banner asked her if she loved you, and she said yes. This means that she’s in love with you.”

Why did he program Friday like this? “I know that. I mean, those two lines. Why does me being Tony Stark stop her from saying something?” Was it the attention? Did you want some sort of normal life away from cameras and international gossip? Maybe it was the Avenging. Having a partner who was always out risking death wasn’t ideal.

Sure, you could be in love with him. But you couldn’t be with him.

“Maybe you should ask her.”

There were celebrities who were able to live normal lives. Some paid to have prosthetics for going outside of moved to a remote country to get out of the spotlight. He thrived off attention, but he could give that up. Avenging, he couldn’t give that up, but maybe he could cut back. Take a mission a month instead of one a week. Or maybe take more digital missions. He wasn’t just Iron Man after all. He was a genius, could hack into the Pentagon if he really wanted to.

“Yeah,” he said. “Maybe I could talk to her.”

~ - ~

The moment you put your bag down on your lab table, Tony said, “You’re gonna be mad.”

You narrowed your brows. “What did you do?” You pressed your palm to your chest. “Oh my god, Peter overwrote my data, didn’t he? Ugh, I know he said he’s great at managing holograms, but really, Tone, you should’ve given him a tutorial before giving him access.” You brought up your holograms to check your data and analysis.

“That’s not it.” Tony stood next to you as you looked through your files. “I did something that invaded your privacy.”

You tilted your head. Closing the holograms, you took a deep breath and slowly asked, “How?”

Tony flashed an embarrassed grin before sighing. “You’re gonna be shocked, too, so prepare yourself.”

You did not know where this was going at all. What horrible thing could Tony have done? Steeling yourself, you took a deep breath and nodded at him to continue.

Tony cleared his throat. “Usually, I can tell when someone has feelings for me. People are obvious about it, but you? You aren’t. So, I had Friday do some analysis on our speech patterns. Me, being in love with you, was one of my controls. You and your dialogue regarding me was the main variable.

“Long story short, I accessed some audio of you and Bruce talking, and you said that you loved me but could never tell me.” He glanced at you. “So that’s why I need to apologize.”

Your expression didn’t change. No, that wasn’t it. You, at first, looked confused. Now, there was just nothing. No expression. No wrinkled brow in anger of flushed cheeks in embarrassment. Nothing.

Tony blinked. “You can shout at me now. If you were confused about when to shout at me.”

You licked your lips before taking a deep breath. “Ok, that was a lot.” You pursed your lips then opened it. But, you couldn’t really think of anything to say. You didn’t even know how to feel. “So you know that I” -you pointed at yourself and then at him- “and that I didn’t wanna tell you.” You shook your head. “Wait, do you know why I didn’t want to tell you?”

A broken scoff left Tony’s lips. “Yeah. I’m a mess.”

It was your turn to scoff. “Wait, you’re a mess? That’s why you think I don’t want to tell you?”

“Among other reasons?”

Other reasons?

You crossed your arms. “Ok, what other reasons?”

Tony looked offended. Still, he listed, “I’m surrounded by cameras, and everyone wants some privacy. Can’t get it if you’re with me. Then, there’s the Iron Man of it all. I went into a wormhole with a nuke. That was also all over the news. Then, there’s the whole daddy issues thing. I’m working on it, but it takes a while-”

He rambled on and on, listing reason after reason, and with each one, you felt tears well up in your eyes. It was a weird mix of heartbreaking, confusing, and enraging. The emotions built up slowly with each word that left his mouth, overwhelming you to the point that you couldn’t even say how it happened.

But, as Tony paced and talked so horribly about himself, you somehow ended up in front of him with your hands on his cheeks.

You only realized it when Tony stopped talking and when his breath touched your lips. “What?” he asked.

You didn’t answer. You kissed him instead.

It was a hard press of your lips against his. It was short, and it wasn’t much.

But by the way Tony gripped the back of your neck and pulled you back for another kiss, you’d think it was his first kiss. You knew it wasn’t. Not just because you knew he had kissed all sorts of people before you, but because he somehow knew how to make you gasp and melt into him.

While one hand kept you steady, the other trailed down your back and pulled you closer to him. His lips moved fluidly against yours, pushing and pulling, and everytime he moved back, you chased his lips to continue the kiss, because the softness, the passion, the fact it was finally happening, was all too good. You didn’t want it to stop.

Your hands started to move. For someone so rich, his t-shirt was rough when you twisted it between your fingers and pulled it to you. Slowly, you trailed your fingers along the side of his neck. You rubbed your thumb along his pulse point, a reminder that this was indeed real. You were kissing Tony Stark, and- He was pulling away again.

Desperate, you leaned forward, reached around to hold onto his shoulder, and kissed the side of his neck.

He let out a breathy laugh, and before you could suck on his skin, his stubble scratched your cheek.

You looked up at him and giggled when his nose bumped into yours. When your giggles turned into a smile, he kissed you again, a soft and short kiss, before leaning his forehead against yours.

His thumbs rubbed circles into your waist as you lightly scratched the back of his neck. He didn’t say anything. In fact, he seemed busy gazing at you.

“Speechless, Stark?” you teased.

He laughed. For a few seconds, he just gazed at you, seeming to prove your point. Tony’s hand began to wander, from stroking your cheek to pushing back your hair. “More confused.”

Remembering why you interrupted him, you brought your hands to his cheeks again and held him there so he couldn’t look away from you. “You are amazing, Tony. That’s the reason I didn’t want to tell you.” You shrugged. “You’re too good for me.”

His fidgeting stopped. “Well, that’s not true.”

“Tony, you’re an Avenger.”

“Technically, you are also an Avenger.”

“You’re a genius.”

“Who can’t cook scrambled eggs.”

“You literally saved the universe.”

“After producing weapons of mass destruction for decades.”

You glared at him.

He glared back. Then, he fought back. “I don’t plan on retiring.”

“Wouldn’t want you to.”

“I have severe PTSD, anxiety, maybe ADHD, all mixed with trauma galore.”

“And I will learn to help you.”

“I couldn’t give you a normal life.”

“I’d rather have you anyway.”

He opened his mouth, but you instead told him, “I’d rather have you than anything. As long as, well, for as long as you’ll have me.”

He raised his eyebrow. “You sure about that?”

“Positive.”

Tony shook his head with a smile. “Cause, I’d rather have you for, well, how does til you get tired of me sound?”

You laughed. “Won’t happen. But, sure.” You kissed him again.You would’ve kept going, but there was something to settle first. “By the way, Tony?”

“Yeah?”

“Is Friday recording right now?”

“Friday records everything. It’s in the contract.”

Friday added, “I record everything that happens in the tower.”

“Ok.” You could work with that. “I’ll forgive you for the invasion of privacy.”

Tony beamed, and you couldn’t help your own smile when he did. Still, you continued, “On one condition.” Your own smile turned devious. “I want evidence that Star Spangled Banner took my ice cream.”

Tony burst out laughing. He kissed you again, a deep kiss, and when he was done, he mumbled, “God, I love you,” against your lips.

#tony stark x reader #tony stark imagine #tony stark oneshot #tony stark #mcu x reader #mcu imagine #mcu oneshot #tony stark fluff #im so sorry im not on here oftennnnnnnnnnnn #dentla schools too busy and i dont wike it #thats not true i do like it its just busy and stressful and doesnt give me time to write #and smut takes me longer to write than fluff #so i can only write fluff rnnnnnn #anyway i miss you all #love you all #hope the universe treats you welllll

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magicalmyu · 3 years ago

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guess who's gonna rant about anti entropy!!!! its me!!!!!

okay so today im gonna talk about tesla, because i talk about eins and welt enough on discord and i appreciate tesla just as much as the others.

(continued after the cut)

so, first of all, tesla definitely has a crush on eins. even if you disregard everything in the mangas and game as "oh but they're just close friends, they don't actually like each other," the vn makes it so damn clear that tesla has a huge crush on her colleague. whether it's the running joke that tesla likes to spoil eins while hating joyce's guts, or how she seems jealous of how much attention eins gives joyce, there's definitely some unrequited love going on here.

now, aside from the einsla propaganda, I'd also like to talk about tesla's character and attitude. while on the surface, she seems like your average tsundere, doing more digging shows that's not the case. in the VN, tesla seems significantly nicer, only losing her temper every now and then instead of being frustrated with someone at any given moment. however, one thing that should definitely noted is how much she cares for the others. in the visual novel, she frequently expresses worry for joyce, despite her supposedly disliking him. whether it's her being concerned at the start of the vn when joyce wasn't answering the door, or her lashing out at him after he refused to protect himself while eins extracted the soulium from the painting, telling him that he doesn't want him to give himself up to protect others, she shows how much she really cares for others in numerous ways.

this other side of tesla isn't just exclusive to the vn, too! second eruption and the nagazora chapters also give some insight to these character traits. in second eruption, when joachim confronts tesla about his plan to defeat sirin on the moon, she gets angry at him. this scene seems to parallel her scene with joyce in the vn, where she also states that "she hates people like him [who try to sacrifice themselves without any thought]" which may be a direct reference to the vn scene in question. apart from this, tesla also reminds eins to stay safe after she went out in the arahato mech to confront sirin. (ofc eins gets absolutely owned and in any other case i would be mad but tbh sirin is a queen too so no hard feelings <3)

in thunders over nagazora, tesla expresses concern for kiana and mei's situation. in fact, she didn't even want to be the one to tell mei the news, which is why she got tesla to do it for her. (i dont remember this one perfectly so lmk if i misremembered anything) there's also some archives from a source currently unknown to me (it might be the herrscher of thunder trial stages tho) where eins and tesla discuss what happened in nagazora. tesla expresses guilt over the situation, and believes that she and eins could have done something in order to prevent it. eins, as usual, comforts tesla and assures her that she understands her frustration and that they will work towards a good solution.

now, why does she act this way? and more importantly, why is her character in the vn so wildly different from her character in the game and manga? well, i have a theory of my own.

remember how tesla said she didn't want to see joyce "drown in his own compassion"? well, guess what happened to him? yep, she predicted his downfall: his own compassion. surely, after a tragedy as horrible as this, especially considering how eins was also noticeably affected by his death, you would think that she would change because of this too. and thus, she did. she begins to think that if she made herself unlikable, to the point where no one would care enough about her that they would give up their lives like joyce did, she wouldn't have to go through the pain of losing someone like him again. whether it was eins, or joachim, or even the hyperion crew, they must all mean a lot to her. perhaps this is why she resonated with kiana and mei, too. mei was a victim of the same thing eins and tesla were - the inability to protect someone who didn't even want to protect themselves.

but, of course, i can't really say im completely correct here. after all, im not hoyoverse.

in conclusion, i feel like tesla's character is misunderstood quite often by the fandom. she, along with joyce and eins, are definitely some of the most underrated characters in honkai, in my opinion.

tl;dr, tesla genuinely cares about people close to her, she just had her own ways of expressing this love due to past experiences.

#tesla honkai #honkai impact 3rd #einstein honkai #welt joyce #analysis #frederica nikola tesla #lieserl albert einstein #hi3 #einsla #might do one for eins and welt if im feeling goofy

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sunarinluvr · 4 years ago

Text

|| haikyuu boys finding you asleep on the couch after an argument ||

includes: kuroo tetsurou, miya osamu, & oikawa tooru

a/n- hello! sorry for posting so late, but this has been sitting in my drafts for a while and i was actually in the mood to finish it so i hope yall enjoy! oh and im not really sure about how i feel about it,,, might take it down later we shall see.

warnings: none ( lmk if there’s anything! )

KUROO -

last night you saw a post kuroo’s “work wife” had made on instagram with her kissing him on the cheek, and it didn’t make you feel the best, so you decided to bring it up to him the next morning. and you did, just as he was getting ready for work you talked to him about it.

you were standing in front of him filled with anger arguing about how it made you uncomfortable, “can you please listen?! i dont feel comfortable with your “work wife” kissing you?” you yelled. “Y/N it was on the cheek its not a big deal!” and to be honest you just wanted to cry.

finally, he walked past you and opened the door. “i don’t have time for this y/n, stop being so insecure! at least she wouldn’t argue over something so small!” and with that, he slammed the door and you stood there stunned. kuroo knew that he shouldn’t have said that, instant regret and guilt filled his gut.

but he already said it, he can’t do anything about it now. with a frustrated sigh, he went to work. hoping to fix everything when he gets home. you stood there speechless, as you realized you still had work so slowly you made your way to the bathroom.

after getting ready and grabbing a quick snack you were out the door with a heavy chest. once you get home, tired and feeling worse than before. you trudged to the couch and plopped down letting out a shaky sigh remembering the argument and the words he said repeating in your head.

you broke down crying, and before you knew it, the exhaustion from today took over and you were sound asleep on the couch. kuroo got home an hour later, he felt guilty and was already practicing how he’d apologize to you as he walked in.“y/n? kitten?” no answer.

he called out again, and was met with silence, he made his way over to the living room where he found you sleeping on the couch. gently walking towards you he knelt down, and saw your tear-stained face which made his heart sink. “i fucked up” he said to himself.

giving you a gentle kiss on your forehead he softly apologized and carried you to the bedroom. you ended up waking up when you felt his body weight dent the bed. “tetsu?” you said softly squinting at him. relief rushes through his body at the sound of his nickname. looking at you with guilt in his eyes

“im so sorry kitten, i shouldn’t have said that. i didn’t mean to hurt you” he said gently. at that tears started flowing again and he was quick to hug you and wipe your tears with his other hand. “it’s ok, i shouldn’t have been so insecure anyways”

he shook his head with a frown “no it’s not your fault ok? i didn’t mean anything i said. i love you so so much and i’m so lucky that you’re mine” you look up at him and gave him a small smile “okay” before cuddling closer to him. giving you a soft kiss on the lips he hugged you tighter as you both fell asleep.

OSAMU -

osamu was just having a horrible day, his head was pounding and the customers he had to deal with today were just plain rude. then he had to do most of the work since one of his employees called in sick, and for some reason, everything just annoyed him.

you on the other hand did not know about his day at all and thought it would be nice of you to make a surprise visit. walking in with a huge smile on your face stopping midway when you realize he wasn’t at the counter. “where’s samu?” you asked sweetly to the employee

“he’s in the back, i think he has a headache,” she says giving you a small smile. you can tell something was off by the way she spoke but decided to just brush it off and make your way to the back. “hi samu! surprise!” you exclaimed cheerfully as you make your way towards him

he just kind of looks at you, which you thought was weird, but you decided to hug him anyways. when he doesn’t hug you back and groan, you pull away and look at him “baby i heard you had a headache. i didn’t bring any medicine, but we could eat first and i-”

you couldn’t even finish your sentence since osamu just stood up. he was infuriated and had no clue why, usually loved listening to you but today he was just annoyed. “look y/n a don’t mean ta be rude, but a don't have the energy for this right now. please just go home.” he said coldly staring right at you.

“excuse me? i came here to surprise you and this is what i get??” you said in shock, voice a little louder this time. rolling his eyes “Oh wow am so surprised! now will ya please go home? a don’t wanna argue right now!” he yelled. with tears forming in your eyes you quickly wiped them and left. osamu knew he shouldn’t have said all that, but he was too mad to run after you in front of all the customers.

you rushed home and sluggishly made your way to your room to change into something comfier, making your way to the couch, curling up into a ball allowing your tears to fall, and somehow falling asleep, after getting tired of crying. he gets home a few hours later, guilt building up in his stomach as he mentally slaps himself for the things he said.

walking into the living room he opened the lights and you were the first thing he noticed. seeing you curled up into a ball on the couch made his heart drop to his stomach. you on the other hand woke up because of the sudden change of lighting.

gradually adjusting your sight you see him and switch your gaze onto the floor when you saw him look at you too. seeing your puffy eyes he walks towards you slowly and sits beside you giving you enough space. “am sorry, a shouldn’t have taken my frustration out on ya.”

you look at him with watery eyes and his heart sinks “yea i was just trying to be nice, sorry i didn’t warn you before coming” he opened his arms and you instinctively scooted closer to him, he sighs “no a love it when you surprise me a was jus having a bad day a love ya so much ok?” finally hugging him “okay i love you too” giving you a quick kiss he offered to make you food and of course you said yes.

OIKAWA -

you love oikawa, and you’re very supportive and understanding especially when it comes to his career. but he has an awful habit of overworking himself and as much as you love him you can't bear the fact that you couldn’t even see him anymore.

he goes home late at night -as in you’re already sound asleep late- and when you do stay up to see him, he’s too tired to even keep a conversation. then the next morning he’s gone before you could even wake up. you’ve spoken to him about this many times, but alas nothing changed.

you woke up to an empty bed as usual, but today was different though, you’ve planned a dinner for about 2 weeks now. you were very excited because it’s been so long since you both spent some quality time together and he promised to come home early.

getting up you send him a little text reminding him of your dinner tonight, with a smile you head on over to the bathroom to get ready for work. once work was over you made a quick visit to the grocery store to buy the ingredients you’ll need to make tonight’s dinner.

quietly humming to yourself while going through each aisle, and double-checking your list to make sure you’re not missing anything while checking your phone here and there. oikawa still hasn’t replied “he must be busy,” you say to yourself as you send him another text about the dinner just in case. after about 30 minutes you get home rushing since it was already late, and immediately getting started on dinner.

once you're done you sat down and waited, and waited, and waited. it's been 4 hours. dinners cold and still no sign of your boyfriend. you decided to call him pissed off that he couldn’t even show up to one dinner, “hello? y/n i can't talk right now i still need to practice”

he said as soon as he picked up. “tooru? did you get my texts? what about dinner, we’ve made plans for this 2 weeks prior! i even-” you were cut off “look just eat without me ok? we can eat again somet-” now it was your turn to cut him off.

“oikawa tooru, you leave the house while i’m asleep and come back when i'm asleep. i just wanted to spend time with you..whatever good luck at practice,” you replied as you hang up. his heart sank when he heard the crack in your voice rushing to his car on his way home to you because he knows he fucked up.

buying your favorite flowers for you on the way home cursing himself and the world for making it traffic at that exact moment. when he got home the first thing he saw was the food and you fast asleep on the couch. he felt a pang of guilt about being late.

“y/n chan?” he said while gently waking you up. you stare at him with red puffy eyes and he hugged you giving you the flowers “im sorry baby, i should’ve prioritized you and our dinner. i promise ill do better” you saw how genuine he was being so you accepted the flowers and hugged him tighter as he offered to reheat the food you made.

reblogs are highly appreciated!

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starglow-xx · 4 years ago

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hello! may i request headcanons for chuuya having a crush on someone who's dense? like he could ask them out in the most straightforward way possible and it would still go over their head?

yes, yes of course you may!

sorry this took so long! my computer was out of commission for abt a week (or two..??)

but this is also my birthday writing piece for chuuya!! (4/29/21) i even added a small drabble thingy in addition to the hcs for the occasion hehe

from where i am, it is about fifteen minutes past midnight so it’s officially chuuya day here!!

happy birthday chuuya i love you! you deserve the whole world and everyone is willing to fight tooth and nail to ensure your happiness! we love you! 💗💗

anyways, i hope you all enjoy this! i kinda had some writer’s block but it was still a lot of fun to write! there might be some mistakes, but i’ll scan over it again later. reader is gender neutral! have fun!

chuuya having a crush on a dense! reader

nakahara chuuya x gn! reader

im cackling somebody help him

he’s frustrated bc you can’t take a hint or a thousand but he can’t even be mad bc he’s whipped

“look at you all dressed up today, wanna go out later? my treat?”

“oh really? thanks chuuya-san! you’re such a nice friend. i’ll go invite the others right now, i’ll see you later!”

“...”

fast forward to later in the evening and he finds himself at a little restaurant with the black lizard + higuchi and akutagawa

sigh

in unison all of them go, “thank you for the meal chuuya-san!” (except aku and hirotsu are quieter & and gin just a nods hehe)

“no problem” (ꐦ ´͈ ᗨ `͈ )

gin only pats him on the back in sympathy

he spends a lot of time trying to think of ways to make it absolutely and undeniably clear that he has feelings for you

he always fails

“(y/n) i like you”

“i like you too chuuya-san”

“really?”

“mhm”

“t-then will you—”

“you’re a really great friend! and superior too”

“...nevermind”

“oh were you saying something?”

“nah, just forget about it”

tachihara is laughing in the corner of the corridor

dont worry, chuuya made sure to get back at him

chuuya’s been pinning after you for years and frankly, his failed attempts to woo you has lead everyone to the breaking point

and i mean everyone

yes, even aku

hell even dazai

but dazai also thinks it’s funny, so he doesn’t mind all that much

okay bye bye dazai-san this headcanon set isn’t abt you rn

PLEASE EVERYONE FEELS SO BAD FOR HIM

they knew even if he kissed you, you still might not get it

so they decided to help him

super secret mission get chuuya and (y/n) together is a go!

they’re still working on a proper mission name, don’t mind them

they had a super secret strategy meeting!

you can bet your ass that they nearly got nothing done

akutagawa & kaiji weren’t much help, neither was higuchi, mori, or elise

tachihara nearly got killed for a thoughtless comment

“just tell them chuuya-san!”

“i already fucking did you ass!”

gin, hirotsu, and kouyou were the most helpful !!

hirotsu and kouyou both agreed on the idea that chuuya should try courting with bouquets of flowers instead of flat out asking you bc they knew you found them pretty

(even if you don’t identify as a female, flowers are for everyone no matter gender or sexuality! so let’s normalize giving flowers to everyone <33 )

gin didn’t speak but she used cards to communicate

everyone knew that you weren’t stupid (you wouldn’t have survived in the mafia if you were) but they did know that you were only stupid when it came to all this lovey dovey stuff

i mean, if chuuya gave you flowers every so often, there’s no way that you wouldn’t piece it together at some point

right...??

but kouyou assured him that even though you wouldn’t get it right away, you’d appreciate the gestures and that he’ll stand out more

she even said that if someone gave her flowers, she would appreciate it, whether or not she reciprocated their feelings

it takes guts to be so up front with your feelings after all

gin and hirotsu only nodded with her explanation

once again, this only provoked a reaction out of tachihara

“what do you know gin? i get the old man and kouyou-san, they’re grown, but you? what do you know abt courting? or flowers? what are you a girl?”

akutagawa choked on his cough, higuchi on air, and on the other side of yokohoma at the ada, dazai is cackling

yes, dazai somehow placed a listening device onto chuuya’s hat and was listening in

don’t ask how, it’s dazai

“DAZAI GET YOUR BANDAGED ASS OFF THE COUCH AND STOP LAUGHING”

anyways

the next day, chuuya did what was barely discussed and for once, things actually started to look up

until they started look to down again

at first, it actually looked like you understood his intentions after he gave you a bouquet of flowers

literally everyone was leaning against the opposite hallway you two were in and then they got excited !!

especially chuuya !

but then your expression sort of changed...??

and then in their heads they simultaneously went, “oh no”

they knew that expression

it was very familiar when you tended to friend zone chuuya

but boy let me tell you what you said next made them facepalm and or make their jaws drop

“ah, so you really are friend zoning me huh chuuya-san; what a shame, i really did like you”

LEMME TELL YOU WHEN I SAY THAT CHUUYA WAS DISTRESSED I MEAN HE WAS DISTRESSED

you liked him??

him of all people??

he wasn’t complaining, no of course not, but he still couldn’t believe it

but that wasn’t what he was really focusing on right now

what in any form or language did it say he was friend zoning you?!

flower language apparently

chuuya chose to buy the bouquet of yellow roses, pink carnations, and yellow carnations bc he thought you would appreciate the brighter colors, and so that you’d remember them better (because remembering them, meant remembering him)

but ooh boy

altogether, they meant the exact opposite message he wanted to send

someone help him pls

“you see chuuya-san, yellow roses mean friendship, pink carnations mean gratitude, and yellow carnations mean rejection; sooo in a nutshell, these pretty much say ‘thank you for being my friend, but im rejecting you”

no one can tell if tachihara is crying or wheezing

and dazai is having the time of his life

yes, he started listening in on him again

and chuuya is just stunned

like speechless and unmoving stunned

is he just bad at this whole courting/dating thing?? it’s only been one day and of it and somehow he was the one doing the rejecting??

“thank you for the flowers chuuya-san, i’ll be going now; i’ll make sure to let this affect our friendship. i’ll see you tomorrow!”

you passed by the not so subtle group of people

“tachihara-kun..?? are you alright?”

just for context, he was leaning his forehead against the wall using his forearm

again, it was hard to tell whether he was crying or wheezing

“i-im okay (y/n)-san...i think c-chuuya-san has it worse than me”

“...okay..?”

BACK TO CHUUYA

he’s still frozen poor baby

but it’s okay bc after like 5 more seconds he’s chasing you down the hallway you were walking in

kouyou, with a knowing smile on her face, ushers everyone away towards the opposite direction

she received some whines (ahem, tachihara and mori) but silenced them by summoning golden demon

but it’s okay

if they run fast enough, they can see what happens through the security cameras

chuuya caught up with you and tried to explain everything but he was exhausted

emotionally, physically (bc since when did you walk that fast??), and generally just tired with the whole situation

he just wanted to call you his; was that too much to ask??

as explosive as he can be, he can be calm and collected too

and he really did try to be that way as he talked with you but it was very difficult at the moment

the dumbfounded and confused look on your face his face twitch with annoyance and his heart started beating faster bc god you were cute

BUT THATS BESIDES THE POINT RIGHT NOW

thank goodness after what seemed like years, you finally somewhat understood what happened

you didn’t understand completely but it was something

The two of you stood in the middle of the unusually empty hallway facing each other, you with the bouquet still in hand. It was quiet as you and Chuuya assessed the situation.

You looked at him skeptically and he stared right back you with his gorgeous blue eyes.

“...So you do like me Chuuya-san??”

“Yes”

“And you were trying to court me just now, not friend zone me??”

“Yes”

You got most of your questions out of the way, but there was something that you’ve been wondering about for quite a while.

“...So you’re not gay for Dazai-san??”

“Yes, im not wait—GAY FOR DAZAI?? THAT MACKEREL??”

Chuuya did a double take. What in heavens name made it seem like he liked that suicidal maniac?? Why would he choose him if he had you?

Like he would choose him anyways; or ever consider him as a possible romantic partner.

“Oh, so you are?”

“NO! I SAID I LIKED YOU DIDN’T I?”

“Well yeah, but I thought you liked Dazai-san too. As annoying as he is, he can be quite charming—”

He was out of patience at this point (nope definitely not because you were talking about Dazai who told you that?) and just decided to kiss you.

You immediately melted into the kiss and kissed him back with the same amount of love and feeling.

Letting the bouquet fall to the ground, you wrapped you arms around his neck and his put his on your lower back and brought you closer to him. After a few more moments, the two of you broke apart for air.

The two of you, slightly out of breath, leaned your foreheads against each other and just basked in each others presence.

Chuuya looked into your (e/c) eyes and asked you just a little bit above a whisper, “Now do you get my intentions and feeling?”

You blinked at him before breaking out into a grin, “Hmm I’m not sure; do you wanna do that again Chuuya?”

The red head only blinked back at you before rolling his eyes, a smile present on his handsome features, his heart fluttering at you using his name with the honorific.

“Dumbass”

Smiling cheekily at him, you pressed a kiss on his cheek and started dragging him towards the lobby to take a walk around the building perimeter, knowing that the two of you can’t be too far from work.

The way down to the lobby was mostly in comfortable silence until you said something that made Chuuya want to bash his head against the wall.

“You know, you could’ve just told me you liked me Chuuya. It’s not like I would’ve said no.”

Once again, as the rest of the more power mafia members watch from security cameras, it is hard to tell whether Tachihara is crying or wheezing of laughter.

omake !!

The two of you just started making your way around the building when suddenly a very familiar voice came from Chuuya’s prized hat.

“Chuuyaaaa!! It was about time you stopped being a chicken, Chibi!”

Removing his hat from his head, he started yelling at it not knowing exactly where the listening device was planted.

“TEME! HOW DID YOU—”

“And (y/n)! I would congratulate you, but I think I would rather offer you my condolences. Why him?! He’s just a slimy slug. OOH OOH how would you like to join me in a double suicide?! A shame it won’t be a lover’s suicide but it’ll annoy Chuuya so I think it’ll be worth it! ”

“YOU—”

“And please don’t kiss while I’m listening in. You made me lose my appetite! And it was such a shame! I was eating crab using Kunikida-kun’s money! Do you know what you’ve cost me?!”

“DAZAI YOU PIECE OF—”

“Ah! Kunikida-kun is here! I have to go!”

You can hear something is the background that vaguely sounds like, “DAZAI YOU WASTE OF BANDAGES STOP USING MY MONEY”

“DAZAI DON’T YOU DARE LEAVE IM NOT DONE WITH—”

*Click!*

The click sound from the hat revealed that Dazai disconnected.

Chuuya twitched and glared furiously at his signature hat hating that the voice he hated the most came out of it.

“Aww, I didn’t get to talk to Dazai-san”

Chuuya whipped his head towards you, a look of mock (or real) betrayal showing on his features.

You laughed at him before taking the hat out of his hands and placing it on his head.

He shyly looked away before muttering a thanks making you smile wider. Just as the two of you were about to start walking, a small explosion erupted from his hat; it was likely that Dazai made the listening device self destruct.

“DAZAI YOU BASTARDD”

At the Armed Detective Agency, a certain suicidal maniac hid from the wrath of his current partner as he thought about the wrath his old one.

“Hmmm I wonder if Chuuya would finally stop wearing his ugly hats if I blow all of them up...”

as always, reblogs and shares are appreciated! i hope you all stay safe! and just in case nobody told you they loved you today, i love you! you are enough! <3

writing belongs to me! please do not plagiarize! the reblog button is there for a reason

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somnambulants · 3 years ago

Note

Hi! Can i request something along the lines of R feeling neglected because Natasha is giving them less attention or something like that? But then they make up? No problem if not though!

notes: im actually the biggest sucker for some angst with a happy ending so i hope u enjoy reading this as much as i did writing it! word count: 1.4K

You start to notice it slowly; first Natasha staying back late at work, then taking on more and more and more missions that progressively get longer as time passes by and then, finally, she stops coming home at all some nights and you don’t see her for days at a time.

And you get it – you really do. She’s doing the kind of work that saves so many lives. The kind of work that would make you a shitty person for confronting her about it. You wouldn’t do that; couldn’t do that. You know how much what she does means to her.

In a way, it makes you love her that much more because you can clearly see how much she cares, especially when missions don’t go quite right or there’s casualties because she always returns completely blank-faced and quiet; so, so quiet.

All of that doesn’t change the fact that you miss her though. So much. You miss coming home to her – miss the quiet domesticity of lying on your sofa together and running your hands through her hair as she tells you about her day.

You just miss her presence around you.

This goes on for months before another thought starts to take root in your mind: what if it wasn’t that she was busy? What if she just didn’t want to come home? To you? What if you were the problem?

Weeks and weeks pass and progressively, you grow more and more anxious until you feel like you’re walking on eggshells all the time.

Every time you come home and she’s not there is just another nail in the coffin -- or somehow even worse: when she actually does come home but then looks straight through you like you’re not even there. Every time it’s just yet another blow to your already breaking heart.

There's only so much a person can possibly take and so eventually, as hard as you’ve tried to keep it together, you finally break.

You’d decided this morning when you’d woken, her side of the bed still perfect and clearly unslept in for the sixth day in a row, that you can’t live like this anymore.

You love Natasha more than anything in the world and the thought of losing her is unbearable but you kind of already feel like you have.

It’s almost four in the morning the next day when she gets finally returns home. She’s so quiet – so good at sneaking around now -- that you barely hear her enter the room and probably wouldn’t have if not for the quiet click as the bedroom door opens.

Immediately, you roll over and flick the lamp on as you sit upright.

Your heart starts to race a little as your eyes land on her face because as mad as you are, the exhaustion clear on every plane of her body is enough to almost make you want to postpone this conversation and pull her into your arms.

Almost.

Still in her tactical gear, Natasha stops right beside your bed, clearly not expecting you to be awake.

She opens her mouth, and you steel yourself; you tell yourself you don’t want to hear whatever she has to say, that you don’t want to listen to whatever bullshit excuse she’s got on the tip of her tongue this time.

Firmly, you tell yourself: No. She needs to hear you this time.

“We need to talk.” Natasha’s face doesn’t change but something in her eyes shifts. You can’t quite identify the emotion. Irritation? Fear? “Can it wait?”

“No,” you say, a little too loud in the silence of your room. “It can’t. I barely see you anymore, Natasha, so ‘waiting’ could mean weeks at this point. What the hell is going on with you?”

Clearly surprised, Natasha stares at you, her mouth moving soundlessly for a second. “I – nothing.”

You let out a growl as your frustration starts to overflow. You know she must be able to see it on your face too. You wonder if she can see the hurt you're trying to suppress as well.

“What do you mean nothing?” You demand. “Do you think I’m that stupid? That I wouldn’t notice you never coming home anymore? What is going on?”

Not even looking at you, Natasha doesn’t say anything. Instead, with her spine ramrod straight and head bowed, she stares at the carpet and just stands there silently as your voice gets louder and louder until you’re outright yelling at her.

“Is it me?” now you’re the one who can’t look at her anymore, afraid of what answer you might find on her face. “Do you not want this anymore? Me?”

There’s a sharp intake of breath and out of your periphery, you see as Natasha reaches out for you before she recoils when you flinch a little. “No – of course. Of course I do.”

For a split second all you can feel is relief so strong is threatens to overwhelm you. “Then what is it?” Still, Natasha hesitates, looking uncharacteristically anxious. Against your own will, you feel yourself soften in response. “Please talk to me, Nat,” you beg. “Please.”

The room silent for a while, to the point that you begin to think she’s not going to answer you then, just as you’re about to give up, Natasha’s shoulders sag in defeat and she lets out a breath she’s clearly been holding.

“I’ve done so many bad things, you know. So many,” she begins stiltedly, not looking at you. “I just want to do something good. Be good. That’s why i've been taking on more work. I want to do better. To be worthy. Of you.”

For a second, you genuinely can’t breathe as you slowly comprehend what she’s saying. Her words gut you. You feel like someone’s reached into your body and just flayed you right open right there.

In some twisted way, you realise it kind of makes sense now – her behaviour. Somehow it makes you feel even worse to know this is how she’s felt all this time but this is quickly burned up by white-hot anger that you can feel all the way to the ends of your feet.

“How dare you?” you don’t even recognise your own voice as you whisper the words. Alarm ripples across Natasha’s face, before what seems like resignation replaces it. Her shoulders cave in further and you hate it. Hate how little regard she has for herself. “How could you say that about yourself?”

Now looking close to tears, Natasha bites her lip. “ I –"

“You deserve to be happy, Natasha,” you interrupt, so fiercely, so angrily, that it surprises you. It seems to surprise her too because her jaw shuts with a distinct click. “You deserve to live a good life. You have nothing to prove. Not to me. Not to anyone. All I’ve ever wanted from you is you.”

There’s a beat of silence before she says, in a small voice that does nothing to convince you she in any way believes what she’s saying: “…I know.”

You look at her searchingly. “Do you?”

Natasha’s expression crumples and she breaks your gaze to look down, blinking rapidly. “Yes. I - I don’t know. Yes. I want to believe that.”

You shift, moving so you’re on your knees on the bed in front of her, cradling her hands in your own. You hope your face conveys how much you mean what you’re about to say.

“You’re good, Natasha Romanoff,” you tell her softly, pressing a kiss to each of her knuckles. “So good. Better than any of us deserve, you know that? And If I have to remind you that every day for the rest of our lives, I will.”

The next morning when you wake, to your surprise, you’re not alone. Natasha is still here. You can’t even remember the last time you’d woken up to her in the house, let alone still in bed beside you.

When you roll over, looking at her in undisguised surprise, Natasha gives you a tentative smile. “I told Fury I needed the day off,” she says, her expression turning hopeful. “I thought we could spend it together.”

Your heart swells until you feel like it’s going to burst right out of your chest and you lean in to pull her into a kiss that she quickly reciprocates.

“I’d love that.”

#Natasha romanoff x reader

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bratz-kitten · 4 years ago

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attack on titan characters - birth chart analysis 🌙

Here is my take on the big 6 of Levi, Eren, Armin and Mikasa of attack on titan/shingeki no kyojin! I kept their sun signs since we know the day and month of their birthday and since I think they’re absolutely perfect. If you want me to do my take on the others (like Jean, Historia, Erwin, Hanji, Connie, Sasha, Reiner, etc) please let me know! (spoiler warning!)

Levi Ackerman

sun in capricorn - levi mf ackerman is fuelled by three things and three things only: LOYALTY, a strong moral code and power. he is seen by most people as a heartless, unemotional bastard but is canonically the most emotional character - he shows love through very indirect ways and he’s the peak of capricorn in the sense that he represses his emotions – he smiled literally ONE time in four seasons, and didn’t once shed a tear. he’s very hard to read. has a lot of respect for his superiors and follows the orders of only those he’s loyal to. he’s driven by his moral codes in the sense that the protection of humanity is his prime motive for fighting titans. like a true capricorn, is the master of his field of work and cares the most about being a survey corp member. please protect this tragic baby.

virgo rising - two words: CLEAN FREAK. this man has a strong need to be presentable at all times and hates getting blood on his hands for the single fact that he needs himself and his environment to be clean. his obsession with being clean is very much due to his childhood trauma and how he lived in in poor conditions in the underground. he has many quirks that correlate with this: the way he holds his cup, the carvat he uses bc of his mother, and the way he always cuts his own hair because that’s the way his mother used to do it. intimidating and demands respect. DRY HUMOUR.

moon in scorpio - i think he has many similarities with mikasa, especially in the moon and venus. introverted and hates people but will go to the ends of the earth to protect the ones he loves and respects. represses emotions and internalizes his hatred until he has a mental breakdown - which happens in the form of extreme violence. VERY sensitive and emotional even if he doesn’t show it. he’s very intuitive and often acts based on gut; he’s secretive and vindictive. very wise and great at giving advice. doesn’t let himself get manipulated and uses shitty situations to his advantage (like with the reeves company). trust is the most important thing to him.

mercury in aquarius - levi is extremely logical, and hates when others involve their feelings in the making of decisions. his decisions are always backed up by strong arguments and others often see him as cold and detached. i saw someone mention something extremely interesting about aquarius mercury’s/people with their mercuries in the 11th house: despite not being very sociable, others are drawn to them for friendships – and often they’re the introverts who get “adopted” by extroverts. this is 100% levi’s case, hanji and erwin practically adopted him. being very vulgar with his words and having a distinctive sense of humour, he’s very humanitarian and is actually really talkative but only when he’s very comfortable around someone. blunt, always tells it like it is – like when he tells eren he can’t know what the right choice really is and he needs to choose it himself. teases and insults his friends as a form of affection.

mars in scorpio - levi’s a fighter, a survivor. he knows what it’s like to come from nothing and have to build himself up. very confrontational. reclaims his power by exerting intimidation and mastering violence. others fear doing as much as make a joke at his expense. understands other’s motivations and characters very easily. he’s very intuitive. very serious due to his need for having an intense and demanding presence, for being respected and valued. he’s the one who everyone sighs of relief when things go to shit and he appears because you know he’s the strongest and most dependable person.

venus in capricorn - good luck getting this motherfucker to open up. his trust is very hard to gain but is necessary for working with him – he places his full trust in his comrades and demands the same from them. very work-oriented and takes relationships very serious; it’s really telling that he cares little for romance because capricorn venuses are the ones to date to marry, and will only devote themselves to someone once they believe they’ve met the one. they either want a more powerful and mature partner or they exude that energy (levi is the latter). slightly parental – we see this in the way that levi is pretty much the dad figure. it’s called squad levi for a reason, after all. very responsible. takes care of loved ones and often uses tough love as a form of discipline.

Eren Jaeger - im not even kidding with this one, he has extreme aries energy

sun in aries - eren feels the need to be very independent and he hates whenever he has to depend on mikasa and others, wanting to be strong enough to reverse the roles. he’s very self-confident, bold and direct. very impulsive, he’s quick to anger but is also very quick to forget - especially seen with his arguments with jean, fighting him is basically a love language at this point. aries suns are very fast thinkers and their strong energy may come off as intimidating. they have great intentions but that often becomes muddled with their impulsivity and the fact that they don’t think ideas through. eren is unabashedly himself and fights relentlessly for what he wants. his aries energy also makes him extremely motivated! he believes in the impossible and will make it happen no matter what.

aries rising – aries risings are the trailblazers. they ooze intensity. eren has very much a baby face and, due to his impulsivity and childish charm, people tend to baby him a lot – in the sense that he’s this kid surrounded by adults who needs supervision at all times or he’ll get into deep shit. aries risings are also marked by their extreme need for action, they’re the ones to do now and apologize later instead of asking for permission to do something in the first place. he is guided by his passion and is a natural leader who inspires everyone to fight alongside him. aries risings have a lot of energy which they need to express in a physical way, making them be prone to be very athletic and lead very active lives. he’s also extremely competitive and is driven by the force of becoming stronger than mikasa, and often feels angry when he realizes how stronger than him other people can be. at the same time, this pressure to be better is put solely on himself. he’s a dumbass with a good-heart and pure intentions.

moon in sagittarius – all this motherfucker talks about is freedom and seeing the world past the walls. he craves adventure and is extremely optimistic. but even if a sagittarius moon needs their freedom, they are still absolutely ride-or-dies and once they’ve commited to something, NOTHING or NO ONE can stop their determination. these are also the people to try their best to always appear cheerful and full of determination to hide their sad façade – like when he was nearly vomiting when talking about the titans to the other recruits when they began the training in the military but still forced himself to say that the titans aren’t scary at all and that they aren’t a big deal; he naturally inspires others and fills them with courage. but the way they put on this strong and brave façade leads to a strong emotional turmoil, violent urges and a sudden hostility to others. they are filled with surpressed anger that can lead them through very destructive paths – and the happy-go-lucky child might just lose her hope. we see this in eren in the most heartbreaking way.

mercury in aries – LOUD!!! eren speaks what’s on his mind with NO hesitation whatsover. he’s very quick to defend his friends and points of view, and speaks openly about his passions and dreams. he’s very assertive and tenacious. short attention span and not afraid to give a different opinion from someone else’s. very passionate about what he argues about. very expressive and when an aries mercury disagrees with you, you’ll know it immediately by their facial expression. confident and thrives on inspiring others. remember him being mad when it was discovered the possibility of all titans being humans because now he didn’t know who the enemy is and he NEEDS to hate someone and blame them in order to keep going? ARIES MERCURY ENERGY!!

mars in aries - people look to mars in aries to lead them. they’re full of energy and dynamic, and very athletic - eren exceeds at hand-to-hand combat and, in the other subjects where he’s not so good, his determination makes him push forward and become better. VERY hot-headed and confrontational, which is both the source of all their problems and their strength - they are not afraid of going after what they want and are willing to go through any obstacle to do so, and they’re also not afraid of upsetting other people in order to do so. eren is courageous, loves to take initiative and is very enthusiastic - something that is very contageous. competitive and hates compromise, he likes getting his own way. aries mars are also very individualistic and can have a huge ego.

venus in pisces - i know this is going to confuse a lot of people - like, how does he have so much aries energy, how is he so intense yet has one of the softest venus placements? i deeply believe he’s a pisces venus, and here’s why. his friends are EVERYTHING to him. pisces venus’ love very deeply and are very dependent on their loved ones, and eren is extremely protective of his loved ones and is willing to do anything to protect them. pisces venus’ are very vengeful, too, something that people seem to brush off about them - they might not do anything when you mess with them but as soon as you mess with their friends it’s game over. i also get a lot of “there was no other way, the word had to be fixed” vibes from this placement? like, this placement gives me the energy of someone willing to commit awful crimes under the excuse of it being for the greater good, which is something he dramatically experiences as he grows older and witnesses the cruelty of the world.

Armin Arlert

sun in scorpio - armin very resourceful!! he easily adapts to the circunstances he’s in and works his way around it. very intelligent and with great memory. extremely manipulative, cunning and perceptive. scorpios are known for their capability to be great investigators due to their natural curiosity, and armin has this deep need to see the world outside of the walls and he studies all there is to know about it with great passion. determined to succeed.

cancer rising - armin just wants to achieve his dream and it’s so soft. cancer risings are very receptive of other’s emotions and incredibly sensitive, but it’s difficult for them to open up to others. his appearance is very soft and delicate. loves to help others and has a naturally warm presence that makes others feel comfortable in his presence. give off a very grounded and stable energy, but this is often because they try to hide their most intense emotions and don’t know how to deal with them/don’t want to bother others by opening up about it.

moon in pisces - one word: EMPATHY!!! very compassionate. tendency to become a martyr and be very self-sacrificial. VERY imaginative, he is the strategist, after all. can feel others emotions and read them very easily. avoids confrontation but feels a strong need to take the weight off of others’ shoulders and to solve all their problems. very loving and giving, in tune with his emotions and emotionally intelligent. on the other side, this caring side of him can make him see other people through rose-colored glasses, and he is prone to believing in the best in people and giving them the benefit of the doubt. but when they’ve proven their true nature to him, he’ll see them for what they are and will no longer defend them, even if still feeling remorse. notice how he’s always like “this had to be done, we had no other choice” to justify his actions.

mercury in scorpio - bro armin’s eyes are so intense. when he gets on his manipulative bullshit it’s IMPOSSIBLE to look away from his gaze. he practically communicates through the eyes. armin is very sharp and his innocent appearance has everyone still thinking of him as a sweet angel as if he isn’t a whole war criminal. he easily psychoanalizes others to know what they want and uses it to his advantage, like how he used berthold’s love for annie to manipulate him to let eren go after him and reiner kidnapped him. scorpio mercuries be knowing shit, they be knowing everyone’s secrets and others usually confide in them as if they’re their therapists.

mars in pisces - mars in pisces makes a person avoid physical confrontation at all costs. notice how armin’s first response to everyone wanting to kill reiner and bertold/the marleyans was “please let’s just talk about this first”? he hates violence and deems it not worthy most times. he is very physically weak and aware of his limitations, unlike eren and levi, whose first instinct is to use violence in order to get what they want. no, armin has developed a much more subtle and effective way to get what he wants without using violence: emotional manipulation. he is the KING of appearing innocent and naïve and having people feel bad for him and want to baby him and protect him, and due to his extremely intuitive nature, he knows EXACTLY what to say to someone to get under their skin. he twists his words and emotions to get what he needs out of people and it’s both incredible and dangerous. also, very self-sacrifical and his goals are based on his emotions.

venus in cancer - he loves so much and it’s so beautiful and heartbreaking. he gives everything to the ones he loves and thrives off of being helpful and keeping everyone safe. reads a lot into the behaviour of the people he loves. very emotionally intelligent, wants stability and to maintain peace and may bend over backwords to achieve that. needs to feel understood and has a soft spot for troubled people, those who are more demanding and assertive (eren and mikasa), people he can take care of and who can take care of him in return. very affectionate and communicative. warm presence, you can pretty much feel the love radiating out of him.

Mikasa Ackerman

sun in aquarius - if you get past the emotional walls of an aquarius that has them appearing detached and distant because they’d rather use intelligence than seem emotional, you’ll be met with an incredibly soft, loving and caring person. an aquarius strength is their ability to be very unique, individualistic and humanitarian individuals - they truly march to the beat of their own drum. mikasa possesses a great deal of determination and isn’t afraid of being rebellious, especially when her loved ones are in danger.

capricorn rising - people with capricorn rising had to learn to be very independent from a very young age. mikasa is very intimidating but she has a very doll-like beauty, common to many capricorn risings. these people have had to deal with a lot ever since childhood, but they are fighters and their determination has them being able to survive even unsurmountable odds stacked up against them. capricorn risings tend to be serious and disciplined, and with a melancholic aura to them – which mikasa perfectly embodies. but the fact that these people have cancer in their descendant makes them strongly emotionally attached to their loved ones.

aquarius moon - even under the most stressful and dangerous situations, mikasa always remains in control of her emotions. she thrives in those situations, it’s the adrenaline of the moment that has her being so good at controlling her emotions until it’s safe to be anything but racional again. aquarius moons are feel very misunderstood and tend to racionalize their emotions a lot. however, it’s only due to their fear of vulnerability that they build this emotional walls, because they experience very intense emotions. i always think about that survey corp member saying “what did you have to go through for you to be like this?” when she was perfectly stable in a life-or-death situation.

mercury in capricorn - mikasa is incredibly action-oriented and she speaks in a structured but confident way. although she’s on the quieter side and is reserved, she’s able to inspire everyone when all hope seems lost, and she’s taken up eren’s words of “if we don’t fight, we can’t win” and uses it constantly in order to keep going. she’s very hard to read due to her usually expressionless face, giving her a mysterious aura. she’s very ambitious, persuasive and determined.

mars in capricorn - when people say that mars in capricorn people are the scariest when they’re angry, they’re not wrong. they act so calm and collected until suddenly they’re fixing you with a death glare and you’re rethinking all your life choices up until this point. mikasa might be extremely rational and calm, but as soon as someone threatens the ones she loves, she’ll stop at nothing to eliminate the threat. it’s like she fears nothing but ever being unable not to save them. she’s very responsible and reliable, with a lot of physical strength and stamina. very PROTECTIVE, grounded and GIVING

venus in virgo - this is one of the things that makes mikasa so similar to levi, the way they love. this bitch is LOYAL to her very core. she knows very well where her loyalties are - eren and armin - and is ready to kill all her close friends and superiors in order to protect them. she threatened to kill historia if she got in the way of getting eren back home safely, jumped levi on sight when he wanted to save erwin instead of armin, and got pissed at connie for doubting eren’s intentions after the whole marleyan ordeal. acts of service are very much her love language - she constantly picks up eren’s and armin’s stuff and carries it herself or orders them to rest while she works. it’s very hard to gain her trust and loyalty but once you do it’s forever, she’s very selective about the people she cares for. she’s possessive, too - giving historia the coldest death glare in the world when she saw her with eren. i’ve also noticed that venus in virgo are very difficult to declare their emotions!! they’ll just wait for the person to notice their indirect acts of affection. very attentive to the needs and details of loved ones.

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyoujin #levi #levi ackerman #eren #eren jaeger #eren yeager #mikasa #mikasa ackerman #armin #armin arlert #birth chart analysis #astrology

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gomgeomeogmeogmy · 3 years ago

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Hi :) my friend recommended me your Tumblr and I've asked stuff before so I thought maybe I should do it again

I really like the theme of this fic https://archiveofourown.org/works/33668362/chapters/83671462 and it hasnt been updated

TW: s3lfh@rm

I'd like to ask for headcanons about Todd dealing with depression and self harm (with Neil helping him cuz i luv anderperry)

I'm sorry if this triggers you, i wanted to see my favourite character dealing with similar struggles as me

Tysm anyways

Okay!! So, before I get into this, I do want to put a HUGE TW on this post, this post WILL mention self-harm and struggles with depression and anxiety.

I want to make it clear: I am by no means attempting to romanticize this topic, as someone who struggles with SH, that is the last thing I ever want to do. If I write something that seems like that, please do not hesitate to call me out.

Here we go! Last TW

Todd dealing with SH and depression/anxiety

Switching to Welton was extremely difficult for Todd, we know this

He felt the pressure of living up to his brothers standards, pleasing his parents, his teachers, and worrying about not fitting in

He always struggled with SH, since he was in grade school, so it was nothing new, but it definitely got a lot worse once he started at Welton

Meeting Neil, Charlie and all the others helped him feel more comfortable, but at the same point it kind of made it harder for him

He couldn’t help but feel like he was intruding in their dynamic, all of them having been friends for their previous years at Welton, a few even before that, and here he was trying to shove his way in

One night, Neil was out late at a play rehearsal and Todd had one of the worst anxiety attacks of his teen years

He wanted so desperately to go get Charlie or Knox, maybe even Meeks, but he couldn’t get himself to, he was so scared of what they would think about him, so he resorted to his usual coping mechanism, self harm

He didn’t want to, but it didn’t feel like he was in control, he didn’t feel like he had a choice

The next few days after that, he was really off, everyone noticed

He was talking even less than usual, walking behind the group instead of with them, wearing extra layers, always seemed to be making himself as small as he possibly could

What really worried them was the way he winced Every time someone touched his leg

Neil and Charlie were the first two who saw it

Charlie had gone to pat Todd’s leg after making a joke, but he quickly pulled his hand away when he saw the pained wince

He and Neil shared a quick, knowing look. Something was seriously wrong

Neil was cautious with Todd the rest of the day, keeping a close eye on him to notice every change in his behavior to see if he could figure out what was wrong

That night, when Todd got up to go to the restroom, Neil got a gut feeling that he needed to look through the trash

He felt weird about it, but he did it, and his heart suck to his feet when he saw the bloodied tissues. Him and charlie were right

Todd walked in right as Neil found them, both of them stopped and stared at each other

“Todd…?”

Todd broke down again, instantly hyperventilating and sobbing and apologizing profusely

Neil panicked, no doubt crying himself as he attempted to comfort his friend

He quickly pulled todd into a tight hug, carefully sitting both of them down on Neil’s bed as he shushed and comforted Todd

After about a half an hour, todd stopped crying, but he was still shaking and refusing to meet Neil’s eyes

(The rest of this will be in writing/story form)

“Todd, you know I’m not angry, right?”

Todd stayed silent, keeping his head down.

“I’m really not mad. I’m just- worried about you… we all are.”

Todd’s head snapped up, his eyes wide and afraid.

“The others know too?!”

“No no no! And-and they won’t know if you don’t want me to tell them, I promise, but you’ve been off for the last few days, we’ve all been worried sick about you, Todd.”

“I’m…im sorry, I don’t want to worry you guys-“

“Well, that’s part of what being a friend is. We love you Todd, I love you, we all just want you to be okay. Can… can I ask why?”

Todd went quiet again, the tension so thick you could slice it with a knife.

“I didn’t want to… I was just-I had an anxiety attack, and I didn’t want to annoy Charlie or Knox or any of the guys, I tried to stop myself but it didn’t feel like I was in control, I’m sor-“

“Todd, you don’t need to apologize. Look, I’ve been there before, okay? I’ve done the same thing, I know exactly what it feels like. I also know that Charlie, Knox and any of the others would never be annoyed if you came to them for help, shit, I think most of them would be flattered that you trusted them enough.”

Todd looked away again, obviously not believing a word Neil said. Neil sighed and grabbed Todd’s hands, giving them a reassuring squeeze.

“I know it’s hard, I know that better than anyone, but we love you, so much todd, all of us do, and we want you to be okay. You don’t have to ever tell us anything you don’t want to, but please, if you ever get the urge again can you just…come to one of us? Any of us, really. You don’t need to give details just-just talk to us, be with us, we care, and we’ll all help as much as we possibly can.”

Todd met Neil’s eyes, and Neil gave him a soft smile. Todd’s eyes grew glossy, a single tear slipping down his cheek.

“Yeah. Yeah I’ll try…”

Neil’s smile grew. He pulled Todd into a tight hug, and Todd couldn’t help but melt into the comforting touch.

“You’re so important to us Todd. Don’t ever think for a second that we don’t want you around, or that you’re annoying us. We love you so so so much. I love you, so much more than you know. Everyone here just wants you to be okay.”

“I…thank you, Neil.”

Back to HC style

The next day, Todd was already seeming a little better

Neil made sure to keep a close eye on him, but he acted like everything was normal, he knew it sucked to have the attention drawn to you when you weren’t feeling good, so he tried to avoid making that happen

The group was obviously thrilled that they had their Todd back, all of them talking to him and joking with him like they hadn’t seen him in days

Neil and Charlie looked at each other again, charlie giving him an “is everything okay?” Look, to which Neil simply nodded and grinned

Todd might not have been fantastic right now, but he was better than yesterday, and that’s all that really mattered

Please, if you ever have the urge to hurt yourself, reach out to someone you trust or find a way to distract yourself. I know what the feeling is like, I know it all too well, but I can also promise you that it is not worth it.

You are so important, and you do not deserve to be hurt.

If you need alternatives to self harming, please look at this list. It gives lots of good alternatives that are far better than harming yourself in anyway

You are loved, you are important, and you matter. <3

#dead poets society #steven meeks #neil perry #charlie dalton #deadpoetsociety #richard cameron #todd anderson #gerard pitts #knox overstreet #john keating #anderperry #stephan meeks #TW

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darthwheezely · 4 years ago

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let me - f.w.

Summary: Fred will always choose you, even if you don’t know and wouldn’t choose him back. Even in the worst of times, Fred would do anything to let you know how much he loves you.

This is based off my recent break up which was supremely awful and I’m going to be picking up the pieces for...a while. This is kind of self-indulgent, I’m sorry about that!

people that might like this: @whiz-bangs78 @monoscandal @gcdric @theweasleyslut @thehufflepuffwife @vogueweasley @loony-loopy-lupinn @oh-for-merlins-sake @slytherinsunrise @lupinsclassroom @durmstrange

Warnings: angst, but slightly fluffy??? mentions of cheating and light homophobia it’ll be ok basically lol and cussing and bullying...oops? PROLLY FUCKING AWFUL WRITING PLZ I TRIED IM JUST EMO RN SKSKWKWJWKKSK

It wasn’t that Fred Weasley hated your boyfriend, it was actually that he had really liked him. Kind of really enjoyed his company. Even went as far to say that he considered him a friend.

And because of that, he told himself, he wasn’t able to see exactly what was happening.

Everyone had known that you and Sam Tuckson had broken up, to be honest, drama at Hogwarts was dulling and unfortunately for you, you and your relationship had fallen prey to the lull of gossip.

Sam Tuckson had basically slid his way into your life at the beginning of fifth year, and to you he was everything you had wanted. The Hufflepuff Keeper was tall, tanned, smiled, and laughed like everything that came to him (including you) was easy, and something in that carefree sense of a walk and talk he had was more than enough to satiate your feelings. You were for all intents and purposes madly in love with him, and everything up until your break up five days ago led you to believe he was as well.

To say Fred had been a little jealous at first was taking it a bit lightly. It didn’t take a whole lot to figure out that Fred had been pining for you since second year, and to make matters worse? He was your best friend. For the first couple of months or so in your new relationship, he found himself at night silently wishing and pretending he was Sam, not needing to steal glances across tables in the Great Hall, being able to hold onto your hand a little longer than he was allowed, and to finally be able to taste your lips on his whenever you wanted him to.

For the first time, he wasn’t your number one boy anymore and it killed him - but the only thing able to bring him back was the joy Sam brought you day after day. It was starting to eat at him past month 2, and with that brought George:

“Freddie. Mate,” he sighed looking at his older twin. Fred hadn’t left bed at all that day and knew he wouldn’t leave it for another day unless he did the inevitable-

“-you have to either tell her or wait. She misses us...she misses you.”

“I know, Georgie.” He looked at George, longing for peace evident in his angular frame. Fred nodded and sighed, sitting up.

“I know.”

Fred had made it his personal mission to befriend your boyfriend, and while it was painstakingly murderous for the first week or so - he eventually became to warm up to the Hufflepuff boy, even going as far as hanging out with him and letting him in on pranks with George when he wanted. Honestly? The guy was starting to grow on him, the idea of a friend of his dating you seemed to lessen the emotional blow of knowing it wasn’t him, and he felt himself over time starting to possibly lighten his own load on you.

And then the rumors started to fly around.

Fred had been walking to Transfiguration and had rounded the corner-

“I heard he’d been slipping it to Astoria and Daphne!”

Who the hell are they talking about?

“Nah, he doesn’t like Slytherin girls-“

“But have you heard about him with Slytherin boys!” They snickered loudly.

Fred continued to walk, the high pitched giggles of the younger Ravenclaw girlsinging in his ears.

After class he made his way to the Great Hall for lunch when a gaggle of Hufflepuff ladies crossed in front, (they always take so damn long when they’re in a line across, he thought)

“Anyway, I heard he hates her guts now.”

“Sam could never hate her! They were together for soooo long you know.”

His heart stopped. No. No they couldn’t be talking about-

“It’s because she’s frigid that’s what I heard.”

“Y/N? Frigid? Please have you seen her with him, she acted like a slut around him! Disgusting really.” She wrinkled her nose.

He felt his knuckles whiten and a lump in his throat begin to rise.

“I heard he’d been doing it the whole time!” The last one said as they hitched a left to the courtyard.

Fred hadn’t ever known what it’s like to be frozen or paralyzed with anger, but he learned it then.

You were sitting in your navy and golden dorm, the only sanctity and safety you felt surrounded by the colors you knew so well. You hadn’t felt the strength to go the Great Hall for anything today, not after breakfast. Not after you waltzed in after what felt like a normal morning and heard tinny laughs and stifled giggles from the Hufflepuff table.

You’d been made the fool by the boy you loved. And there was nothing at this point that could get you past that realization now.

You’d heard the rumors in the hallway. You’d heard them when Pansy Parkinson sat next to you in Potions and whispered in your ear, “maybe just dip yourself in amortentia next time. Might last longer.” You’d seen the way Sam Tuckson, Hufflepuff Golden Boy, looked over at you with nothing but pity in his eyes before he trudged to the Ravenclaw table, looked at the ground and murmured-

“I’m sorry it ended like this. I’m sorry I didn’t know how to love you sometimes.”

And scurried back to his own seat.

You hadn’t had the strength to find the twins. You could barely find the strength to move from your bed, to get more tissues. You simply didn’t have it. And then.

There was a knock on your door.

“Please, Cho, not right now, okay?” You croaked, turned away from the door. You could barely hear the door creak open to see your best friend’s head creeping from the other side.

“Knock, knock, princess.” He said softly, showing your turned frame a small smile.

“Can I come in? Please?” You nodded. Fred came through, shutting the door as quietly as possible behind him. He looked at you curled up in your bed with your uniform still on. Your favorite throw blanket draped over you as you laid on top of the covers and all he could think of was how.

How did he let this happen?

“Freddie, you couldn’t have known.” Fred blinked realizing he had spoken out loud and froze in place.

“Yes, actually I could have”

“Fred-”

“No, I don’t think you understand.” he almost growled it, it was so low that you could barely register it was him saying it. You turned him to look at him then, pulling your knees to a criss cross applesauce position. He clenched his jaw feeling tears and the lump in his throat finally erupting.

“See, Y/N, I’ve always been there to protect you. It’s never been a job, or a chore, because I’ve been so blindingly in love with you ever since you hurled a bezoar at me in Potions when we were 12.” You choked out a small giggle at that, your heart pounding in your chest. He looked up at you then tears on his face.

“I know this isn’t fair. Because this is a really shit time to be selfish and tell you how much I love you, but I was his friend, Y/N. I willingly sat and enjoyed his company and I could’ve seen what he was doing to you because I’m a guy I should know what guys do and quite frankly? You deserve so much” he swallowed and readjusted his jaw again feeling more tears as he watched you crying to, wanting to stop but something in him told him this was it he couldn’t hold in it he couldn’t-

“-so, so much more. Than me. Than him. Jesus, than everyone. And, love, I am...so sorry I didn’t tell you this sooner. Please know our friendship wasn’t a lie and we never have to discuss this ever I just...you’re so bloody fucking perfect and knowing I watched him do that to you without knowing I just-”

“Freddie.” You held out your arms. It was his turn for him to choke then as his knees buckled and fell towards you on the bed.

You couldn’t be mad at him or angry or upset. You weren’t. You were just,,,

“Fred, I need time.” You whispered against his shoulder, his body engulfing yours in a tango of arms and legs and breaths that only you two knew this well.

“Angel, I didn’t mean to make it seem-” he pulled away to look into your eyes.

“I know you weren’t asking me of anything, Fred. I love you I just...I need time. For a lot of things.” He swallowed and nodded moving to get off the bed and give you the space you needed. However, you pulled him back.

“I love you, Freddie. That isn’t changing.” And out of force his arms seemed tighter as he breathed out, meeting your forehead.

“And I’d wait every second of everyday to hear you say it again.”

#fred weasley #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley x reader

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meltwonu · 4 years ago

Text

| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 | [CHAPTER 15]

pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader

this chapter’s notes; camshow, softdom!seungcheol, blowjob, cum swallowing, restraints/blindfold, daddy!kink, dirty talk, v little hair pulling, orgasm control, squirting, sex toys 😗💕 hope y’all are having a good weekend! As you can see, with this chapter comes the decided amount of chapters 😭 which means! cherry bomb ends on jan. 1st! 😭😭😭 I’m sad about it but!! excited to start the new year with some new projects too!! and I promise it won't be the last of this au either (I'll upload and talk abt a new schedule when it gets closer to time)💕💕 Thank you, as always, for your support with Cherry Bomb and I’m glad some of us have had pavlovian responses when we hear the term now LOOOL😩💕 Enjoy ch15 and have a great weekend! see u tomorrow for the last intro post! 💕🍒

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - x - x - x - x - x

Seungcheol takes it as a blessing that he doesn’t work on the weekends.

You do your camshow on Friday and upload prerecorded content on Saturday which leaves two whole days of relaxation that the two of you enjoy.

But Monday comes quicker than you anticipate and Seungcheol drops you off to work before he heads back to the roller rink; ignoring the multitudes of texts it seems Jeongguk is sending.

I’ll be at work in 30 minutes, he thinks.

“I’ll be back to pick you up after work, baby!”

You nod back, blowing Seungcheol a kiss through the window before you turn to leave.

Seungcheol’s phone rings 3 more times, brows furrowed.

‘It can wait.’

“Hyung, we’re in trouble… Maybe?”

Jeongguk’s big puppy eyes stare back at the older male and he can already feel the blood draining from his face at the potential reasons that the younger male would even say that. “Um… is---is this pertaining to why you tried calling like 14 times?” Jeongguk nods, tugging on Seungcheol’s shirt and pulling him in closer.

“Before you say anything… Namjoon-hyung didn’t find out, did he?”

“Find out about what?”

“That I… cam… I don’t want to get fired because I--”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes, “Listen, I’m gonna be real, I don’t think he cares. The problem is… remember that dude that came in? A couple weeks ago. Lookin’ for a job.”

Seungcheol nods slowly; trying to remember the male’s name. “Seok--something, right?” Jeongguk nods.

“Apparently, he came back, and at the right time too. Namjoon hired his ass on the spot and he starts tomorrow. I heard from Seokjin.” Confusion crosses Seungcheol’s features as he stares and waits for Jeongguk to continue. “... And? How is that trouble for us?”

Jeongguk lets out an over dramatic sigh, hands on Seungcheol’s shoulders. “Nevermind, I forgot you’re making bank on those videos. I was gonna say, we might get a pay cut! Or maybe Joon-hyung’s trying to replace us but I guess that’s not a ‘you’ problem.”

Seungcheol laughs under his breath, shaking his head before patting Jeongguk’s hands.

“You’ll be okay. I don’t think anyone is coming for your concession stand job.”

The next day when Seungcheol makes it to work, he can’t help but have a weird feeling in his gut.

Much like the time when he first met Jun, there’s an indescribable feeling bubbling up in his body that he can’t seem to shake off once he arrives at the roller rink and the sight of Jeongguk with the new employee doesn’t help to settle the feeling at all.

Just before he can make his escape, the younger male waves him over; a cheery smile plastered on his face when Seungcheol starts walking over.

“Hyung! It’s the new employee!”

So much for panicking about being replaced, Jeongguk.

Seungcheol smiles at the other male, introducing himself swiftly before extending a hand to shake. “Ah! I remember you! I’m Seokmin! I’m the same age as Jeongguk!” Seungcheol’s lips part as he nods in understanding; that had been why Jeongguk seemed so okay with it all of a sudden.

Seokmin’s eyes form crescents when he smiles and Seungcheol takes a second to do a once over of the other male; noting the pins tacked to his denim jacket. His eyes hone in on a specific one, narrowing once he realized what it was.

It’d been a while ago now, but when you’d hit 5k subscribers to your camming channel, you had made only three of the same pin, which you had raffled and only gave to three winners.

By nature, Seungcheol was one of them, and the other two were ‘xcaliburDK’ and ‘gentleman_josh95’. Seungcheol could deduce from usernames alone that this wasn’t ‘Josh’ so it only left one option left; albeit Seokmin didn’t add up to the username either.

“Hyung? Hyung, are you okay? You’re spacing out.” Jeongguk waves a hand in the elder’s face as Seungcheol shakes himself from his thoughts.

He’d just have to figure it out later.

Although, he can already feel the groan spilling from his lips.

Why was everyone popping up now?

When he picks you up from work, later that afternoon, he can already tell something is off about you too.

You slink into the passenger’s seat of his car, quiet and a little jittery. “You okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” He comments, watching as you fumble with the seatbelt.

“Yeah it’s just… Can we talk about it when we get home? I think I’m still recovering from the weird experience I had earlier.”

Nodding, Seungcheol reaches over, placing his palm in yours in a means of comforting you; even just a little.

“Guess we both have had weird days, huh?”

You can’t thank Seungcheol enough for how patient he is.

He doesn’t say a word in the car and lets you have your quiet, cool down time before you get home.

But when the lock slides into place and you finally plop down onto the bed, you know it’s finally time to have the talk that you knew was brewing.

“I met another one of my regulars at the diner today.” You mumble; beating Seungcheol to the punch of him asking.

“Weird, I think I ran into one of your regulars at the roller rink today too. He works there now, by the way.”

The two of you share an awkward laugh as Seungcheol lays down next to you; neither of you bothering to change out of your outside clothes as you bask in the oddly similar occurrences. “Wouldn’t happen to be ‘universe_WZ’ would it? He came by the diner earlier, ‘just passing through town’ he said. It was so weird though, y’know? Him and Jun kinda got along ‘cause apparently they’re born in the same year.” You smile at the memory, despite how odd it was at first. “He was quiet and Jun is very much not. I think he bailed earlier than he wanted ‘cause his ear was getting talked off. But he asked me for an autograph on the way out and some old lady stared at me. It was just… a little weird.”

Seungcheol laughs; somewhat glad that your experience hadn’t been as bad as he was expecting.

“How ‘bout you, ‘Cheol? What was that about him working with you?”

The male groans, sliding a hand down his features. “It was… somethin’ else.” You turn on your side to face him, raising a brow.

“Couldn’t be that bad, could it?”

Seungcheol laughs, but only in the way he knows that the next words out of his mouth will sound ridiculous, even to you.

“I’m not going to say who it is because I don’t want you to be extra weirded out. He’s an okay guy, very diligent about his work. But let’s just say I caught a glimpse of his wallpaper, which was you by the way. And when I asked him, ‘hey, is that your girlfriend?’, the fucker lied and said yes!”

It takes a second before you’re letting out a boisterous laugh; tears springing to your eyes at the hilarious encounter Seungcheol had experienced.

“You’re not mad!?” He comments, eyes wide as saucers as he watches you curl up in laughter. “I thought you’d be mad!” You wipe a tear from your eye, catching your breath before you turn back to Seungcheol who watches you in confusion.

“No way, that’s fuckin’ hilarious! And let’s be real, probably not the first time someone’s lied about me being their girlfriend, right? But I--he doesn’t know, does he? That you’re… y’know, ‘dom.cheol’?” Seungcheol blushes, cheeks blooming a pale pink when he thinks about it.

Would his voice be enough to give it away?

“I don’t… know? He didn’t say anything but neither did I, honestly. It was just… weird. And now I work with him so that’ll be fun. Can’t wait for him to tell me how cute his girlfriend is.” He grumbles.

“Awww, is widdol Swungcheol jealous?” You blink cutely back at him; a teasing smirk on your lips when you see him narrowing his eyes back at you.

“Watch it, brat. You know I can punish you at any time, right?”

“Try me, then~”

Seungcheol mentally logs into his brain and waits until your Wednesday show before he makes a move.

He brings his favorite silk ties from his closet and places them on the bed while you get changed; a sly smirk on his face.

“‘Okay, ‘Cheol I’m--whoa.” You bite your lip when you step out and see the array of ties and the vibrator already sitting on the bed. “Um… I take it that these are part of the show tonight?” You end with a shy giggle; body already warm at the way Seungcheol looks at you.

“Mmhmm. For the ‘lil jealous comment you made. What was it that you said? ‘Try me, then’?” He grins in a way that you know you’re screwed and you saunter up to him in hopes of maybe pacifying him a little.

“Too late to say that I take it back?”

“Waaaay too late, baby. Now, let’s get started.”

chwenon has donated $50

sleepy_wonu has donated $100

artist8hao has donated $75

artist8hao: she’s so pretty with her hands tied behind her back like that

angelhan: shibari next time???

universe_WZ: she’d be so pretty all tied up

universe_WZ: rly nice seeing u btw ;)

therealchan99: where tf are all of u seeing her!?!?? I need to go out more im lackin bro

alphagyu97: its the way u walk into every set up for me

Seungcheol chuckles under his breath, reading the comments with his hand tangled in your hair and your arms tied behind your back as you work your mouth up and down on his cock.

Before the show had even started, he had quickly rearranged the setup so that the camera was angled down towards the space in front of the bed instead of where it usually faced which was on top of the bed. You were a little confused at first when he had nodded and told you to start your camshow from the rug placed underneath you but it soon made sense when he had tied your arms behind your back and made you suck him off with your knees digging into the rug and a silk tie tied into a bow around your eyes to prevent you from seeing.

“Shibari, huh? Ooh, wouldn’t it be a treat for your viewers if you did a show where you were all tied up? I’d have to start it for you, or maybe they’d like to watch the process and see how quickly I can get you to fall apart.” Seungcheol pauses; hips canting up slightly into your mouth as you swallow and gag around him. “We can make it an extra long camshow… Maybe a pay-per-view situation. They can watch you squirm and cum all night long while I keep a vibrator pressed against your clit until your cute body is trembling.”

Your eyes roll to the back of your head even if Seungcheol can’t see it and you moan around his cock when you feel him throbbing in your mouth.

The sound of donations and comments is all you can go off of with your back towards the camera and your vision taken away; noting that the viewers must’ve liked the idea.

j__min has donated $150

j__min: popping in to say if u need help buying ropes, i know a guy ;)

alphagyu97: wait is this rly happening

alphagyu97: i’ll clear my schedule gentleman_josh95: yea same

xcaliburDK: i just started a new job i cant have any sick days plz… at least reupload it for me 😭😭

Seungcheol smirks when he reads that particular comment; fingertips massaging your skull when he hears you whining. “I know, baby. You wanna be fucked, huh? It isn’t nice being teased, right? So now you know how I feel~” In a blink of an eye, ‘xcaliburDK’s comment is buried and Seungcheol is thankful that you didn’t see it. He’d just have to keep it a secret for now while he played along and listened to what else Seokmin had to say about his so-called ‘girlfriend’.

You rub your thighs together; already feeling the slickness on them from how wet you already were and how long you’d been teasing and sucking his cock.

“Fuck, I could cum down your pretty ‘lil throat and then make you work for my cock. Drag your punishment out even longer than your viewers would see.” You moan around his cock in response and Seungcheol can only take it as a whiny ‘no’ before he’s pulling you off of him by the hair; soft sputters and coughs spilling from your wet lips as you catch your breath.

“But I think you’ve earned your orgasm, hmm? What do you say, princess?”

Your throat feels hoarse and your body feel obscenely hot at the way Seungcheol doesn’t seem to want to take off your restraints just yet. “Y-yes, daddy I--I want to c-cum… pl--please.”

tangerine_kwan: ahhh shes so cute

tangerine_kwan: petition for baby pink ties next time i think they suit her

sleepy_wonu: if that shibari show is happening, yes

“We’ll talk about it later, although I don’t think she’ll be opposed to it~” You furrow your brows; wondering what Seungcheok was referring to.

You’d ask later.

“D-daddy…?”

Seungcheol tugs you slightly by your hair, urging you up as you slowly stand on shaky legs. You let him take the reins as he unties your arms and repositions you until you’re bent over the edge of the bed; left leg folded atop the bedsheets while your right leg keeps you upright. He keeps your blindfold on but lets you keep your arms loose; which you find out fairly quickly, is for good reason.

The buzzing of the vibrator makes you bite your bottom lip and soon enough, Seungcheol places the toy in your clammy hand.

“You’re gonna slide your hand under your body and keep that vibrator pressed against your clit while I fuck you. And you’re not allowed to cum unless I say so. Am I understood, baby?” You feel Seungcheol teasing you as he slides his cock through your soaking folds before circling the tip around your entrance.

“I expect a response when I ask you a question, sweetheart.”

“Y--yes, daddy, I--ah!”

Seungcheol grins as he slides his cock into your tight cunt; watching as you slowly sandwich your arm between your body and the bed sheets to place the vibrator against your clit. You cry out, a mess of sharp whines and jumbled words spilling off your lips with the combination of Seungcheol’s thrusts and the vibrations on your clit.

“Ngh, d--daddy! Fuck me m-more!”

Your other hand digs into the sheets, fingers tight around the fabric as Seungcheol fucks you from behind. He knows your body like the back of his hand and he quickly already has you on the verge of an orgasm despite only having started fucking you, moments prior.

“Don’t cum, princess~” Teasingly, he alternates from quick snaps of his hips that have his cock slamming into your g-spot to slow thrusts that have you remembering every groove and vein of his cock when he pulls out. And when he fucks you like this, it’s easy to forget the camera was even on and that people were watching; if not for the constant pinging of comments and donations that mix in with your moans, Seungcheol’s harsh breaths and the sound of the vibrator against your clit.

hoshi_tiger_xx: hmm but shes obv being punished and we all kno good girls dont get creampies

therealchan99: ur right,,, where should he cum then?

kitty_junjun: my votes on her tits

kitty_junjun has donated $75

sleepy_wonu: maybe all over her back and then post the pics in the private room

xcaliburDK: or raffle them!! I want them

chwenon: ooo cum in her mouth but dont let her swallow

chwenon: then u can raffle those pics or sth

Neither you nor Seungcheol are even paying attention to the comments that fly past on the screen and the only thing Seungcheol even turns slightly for, is to check to make sure he’s still properly out of frame.

He can already feel you tightening up around him and with the vibrator on your clit, he knows for a fact you won’t last much longer before you’re cumming.

“Hmm, princess, I can feel you getting so tight around me. Bet you wanna cum already, huh?”

“D-daddy, I dunno, ah, how--how much longer I can h-hold off…” You mumble; already feeling the tension in your body ready to snap at any second.

“Be a good girl. I said you earned your orgasm but you need to be patient.” You nod to the best of your ability; head feeling heavy and fuzzy as you try to stave off your orgasm for a little longer. “Y--yes, daddy…” He slows down his thrusts in order to help you a little and the soft praises that fall from his lips have the warmth blooming in your chest.

But it doesn’t last long because despite Seungcheol’s valiant efforts, you’re already too close to cumming to stop yourself when you feel the pressure building up too fast.

“Oh, d-daddy, I---I can’t, I---I can’t, I have, ah, to---to c-cum! Fuh--fuck, ‘m s--sorry!”

Seungcheol can’t even manage a word in before he feels his cock being forced out of your pussy and the wetness that squirts all over his cock and lower half. Loud cries and whines are all you can manage in the thrums of pleasure and the grip you have on the vibrator only tightens as you grind against the toy to ride out your high.

Seungcheol takes the time to wrap a hand around his cock as he strokes himself; body turned halfway towards the laptop to see what everyone was saying.

hoshi_tiger_xx: uh ohhh pretty baby came without permission

hoshi_tiger_xx has donated $50

hoshi_tiger_xx: donation for squirting tho

alphagyu97: ugh look at her cute lil hole begging to be filled up

angelhan: bet she’s feeling empty rn huh

Your soft mewls have Seungcheol turning back to face you; eyes trained on your twitching body when the pleasure starts to ebb away and the overstimulation from the vibrator starts to bite. “Daddy… the---the, mmh, toy…”

“You can turn it off, sweetheart.” His tone is clipped and you already know you’re in for it once you manage to find the switch on the silicone toy. You turn it off and slide your hand from underneath you; palms flat against the sheets as you sniffle.

“I--I’m really s-sorry, I--I couldn’t--”

“I want you on your knees again, princess.”

Nodding shakily, you ease your bent leg down as you maneuver yourself onto your knees; hands already searching for Seungcheol before you hear his small ‘ah, ah, ah’s. “Hands behind your back and tongue out, baby.” You follow his orders as you clasp your hands behind your back and diligently open your mouth and stick your tongue out as far as you can.

He brings his cock towards your face, tapping his cock head against your tongue before he starts to jerk himself off over your mouth and face. “I gotta hand it to you, princess. At least you apologized.” Seungcheol laughs under his breath, “But next time though? I won’t even let you have my cock.”

You whimper in return, brows furrowed under the silk tie.

“Fuck, ‘m gonna cum all over this pretty face.” His grip on his cock tightens and he thrusts into his palm quicker as he chases his high. “Don’t worry. I’ll take pretty pictures of your cum stained face.”

Seungcheol groans as he feels the coil in his body snapping and not a second later do you feel warm rivulets of cum hitting your cheeks and your tongue. Some of it manages to catch on the silk tie as you moan. The donations and comments pour in like water as Seungcheol continues to cover your face in cum and for the umpteeth time, you’re reassured that this was a path that worked out for you.

It was so silly that you’d thought of quitting camming earlier.

Although, you never brought it up to Seungcheol.

In actuality, there were quite a few things that you’d never brought up to Seungcheol.

“Fuck…” He mutters from above you and it’s enough to bring you out of your thoughts as you hold still. Seungcheol takes the hint, using a sticky cum covered hand to reach for his phone to snap pictures of you; he’d just clean it up later.

“Say cheese~” He laughs, taking a couple photos before tossing his phone onto the bed as you draw your tongue back into your mouth and swallow down the warm salty substance that managed to hit your tongue.

Seungcheol helps you up from the floor, pouting when he sees how red your knees have gotten. “Hmm, think I need to take care of my princess after this.” He helps take your blindfold off and you’re quick to blink the fogginess away as you try to focus on Seungcheol’s face before peering over to the laptop’s screen.

Your cheeks burn hot at the cum that still stains your cheeks when you see yourself but the comments that flood in calling you pretty make you giggle.

“Ooookay. I think daddy is gonna get all cleaned up and I’ll wrap up here?” You check in with Seungcheol, who shoots you a nod and a small thumbs up before slinking completely out of the camera’s view.

“Okay guys, now what were you all talking about while I was on my knees?”

You get out of the shower feeling refreshed; tossing on a loose shirt before skipping out of the bathroom.

Seungcheol is cozied up on the sofa, waiting on the food that the two of you had ordered right after you ended your show. “‘Cheollie~” He turns to you as you plop down next to him and he’s quick to wrap an arm around your shoulders as he tugs you into his side.

“Feeling better?”

“Mmhmm~ A ‘lil sleepy but I can go for that food and then sleep.”

The two of you share a laugh, eyes focused on the movie that plays on the TV. “Say…” You start, “Someone asked a good question in the comments after you stepped out.” You gulp; palms a little clammy.

You just had to know.

“Yeah? Was it about the shibari camshow again?”

“No, actually…” You take a deep breath, telling yourself it’d be okay regardless of what he said.

“Seungcheol, am I your girlfriend?”

#cherrybomb!cheol #seungcheol smut #scoups smut #seventeen smut #svt smut #scoups scenarios #scoups imagines #seungcheol imagines #seungcheol scenarios #svt scenarios #svt imagines #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #scoups #seungcheol #svt fic #seventeen fic

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songofsutarima · 2 years ago

Text

More 5 minute or Work Writes

The second part of the list

———————————

11) Write a poem where each line ends with a word that doesn't rhyme with anything. (Orange, silver, purple, month, angel, dangerous, etc.)

As someone who depends on rhyme like money used to count on silver

It truly drives me mad that half the time a similar sound cannot be glimpsed.

Rhyme is sort of my favorite thing, and when I can’t, I’m filled with angst.

When there’s nothing for me to bring, it’s kind of when I pop my fifth.

That’s only in the hopes that in pursuit of sleep or writing, my mind may oblige.

That’s why I’m wrapping up with this line; this poem feels weird; like sinking into depths.

12) Write a poem with twelve lines, where each line represents a month of the year.

Breathe in, cold, crisp, full of hope

Exhale short, from time cut and you cope.

Step, heel-toe, one foot leading the other

And play not the fool, spare embarrassment for mother.

Let it be that you come home

And ‘Juin’ not they that roam

Do not lie, you would not return

I’d guessed you’d rather simply burn.

‘Xcept embers sting, have cause me be one burnt

Awk though over years, heat hasn’t caused me one turnt.

As turkey time approaches, and we have a bird roasted

I hope we know…not even Christmas for this stressfulness should have boasted.

13) Interview a mundane object in your home.

Hey, Merida, glad to have you with us today,

“Glad to be here” I’m sure she’d say.

Tell us, I’m sure some would like to know

What makes you happy, gives you glow?

“Maybe that my owners always find time to blow

Sometimes using me quickly, often taking time, burning with me slow.”

Do they take care of you? Treat you well?

“I would say yes from what I can tell,

Though..since I’ve been cleaned it’s been a spell.”

What is your favorite memory from what you recall?

“Mom choosing me from the shops glass stall!”

What about scary? What struck you with fear?

“Losing some brothers and sisters, some colored, some clear.”

Okay, finally, just for clarity for our readers,

Do you mind specifying what you happen to be?

“Oh sure! I’m a favorite glass, used quite often

Thought I prefer “water pipe”, there are other words that also define me”

14) Write about your earliest memory.

I feel I should start with a disclaimer small.

I’m not going to like writing this. Not much at all.

But the earliest fragment I can claim

Is one where I was slightly maimed.

I want to say it was a Friday evening, possibly the day that follows.

Regardless, it’s an eve that causes hard swallows.

I was having a good day, not much was wrong

Mom was getting ready for Im guessing clubbing all night long.

Feeling happy, more or less dancing on air

Stepping into Mom’s room to say I love you and I care.

“Mom! Hug!” With arms up and hands out

Perhaps it was rude and a little demanding

I still don’t really know what she was angry about

I just know what rings feel like from someone backhanding.

The sting was small, I think I was mostly in shock.

Like..did I annoy you with the way I talk?

I remember just standing still for what seemed a moment eternal.

And that’s basically it, the earliest entry in my memory journal.

15) If you found out you weren't filled with the normal things (blood, guts, etc.), what do you think would be inside you?

I was bored once

And being of curious mind

I set out to do some tests

To see what I might find.

I started with CT’s

To put the hidden in clear view

And it may shock you to know

Instead of a heart, I found a crew.

A dozen or so beings

All of emotional name

To throw me in different corners

All working furiously the same.

An MRI is the scan that followed

I needed to see the shape of my brain

I just had to know what was in control

Who had the supreme reign.

The scan revealed nothing,

To me it made no sense

I needed fresh eyes inside

And had to convince a friend off his fence.

Just a small window

Enough to see

And shine a light

Into apparently cavernous me.

Smoke and water

All things in clouds

Whispers and murmurings

Words dressed in shrouds.

X-rays I suppose

Was the most logical thing.

Hoping what holds me up is iron and bone

But at this point expecting wood and string.

Showing up on the scan

Something I didn’t believe at first pass

To see that even that is hollow

As my bones are music and glass.

The next part was just me

Something just I needed to know.

Something a little gruesome

To find what really really flows.

Just a small incision

I mean…it’s certainly what I meant

But I couldn’t waste the time

As it was already being spent.

It was odd to see what flowed

To see once cut what would be the river.

Silver, and gold, light and happiness

And hopeless blackness, greys that made me shiver.

One thing that was unexpected

I didn’t look for and so didn’t think I’d see the sight.

When I wanted to see what life had made me,

I didn’t think my soul would still show any shimmering light.

16) Write a poem in which you forgive yourself.

Do you not know or understand

The fires I’ve caused and fanned?

“Forgive yourself” I have heard them say

But that seems for someone else on another day.

The blood on my hands, the ink blackness of a heart

I’d love to forgive. But how do I get there? Where do I start?

Listen well, please, as it’s said another time

A past can stay past without repeated crime.

Yes, I saw what happened, what you did and said.

I see the things that cause the daymares constant in your head.

I understand you failed, you aren’t who you could have been,

That does not mean you don’t deserve your zen.

It has been quite long enough; there is something that must truly be learned.

It’s time to just let go, be forgiven; it isn’t as though it can be earned.

17) Write about what kind of poetry different animals would write. (Would small creatures write shortpoems? Would beautiful creatures write beautiful poems? Or would it be entirely different?)

If you listen in nature, and can read,

Poetry is every creature, from bee to stallion steed.

Buzzing little friends writing circular and square.

Swans writing love sonnets to show their care.

While mighty beasts like wolves, lion, or bear

Write ballads of battles where they crush those that dare

Challenge their power, prowess, and strength.

Doves singing psalms at unending length.

Owls and elephants with proverbs to spread wisdom with words.

Haikus hidden in the chirps, whistles, and singing of birds.

Rhyming important for spiders who like all things in order.

While dolphins push more of a free verse border.

All things in nature have poetry, some song.

One of my favorite things is to listen and read-sing along.

18) Write about an object you've lost. Where might it be now?

I lost it when I was a child

I set it down, but should have filed

Something somewhere to remind me where it went

Before I had hours and hours searching spent.

It was late at night, so I feel only so much blame.

And it wasn’t me that stripped innocence from my name.

19) Try to write a"square poem", in the style of Lewis Carroll.

If I love you forever

Will you forever return?

When the last lights all go out

Will our fire continue burn?

Will you, in this journey life,

Hold my hand at every turn?

Or be a lesson to learn?

20) Write about sounds you might encounter in outer space.

Floating in a vacuum, you might find

Something that really should not shock your mind.

The things you might actually hear floating in the vast emptiness of space

Would be your skin freezing, your lungs cracking, as life leaves your body without a trace.

—————————————-

The top of the list

https://at.tumblr.com/songofsutarima/694676390289801216/h2m67dcfyk48

#new poem #poems on tumblr #poetry #prompt poetry #tumblr inspired

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teacusp · 2 years ago

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any yall seen ted lasso?

I just finished it (yes i am 2 years late to the party) and i have Thoughts about their zodiac signs i need to discuss.

Kinda spoilers I guess under the cut. Not getting too specific but. warned.

1) Ted

Gut instinct? Gemini. Lile genuinely does talk that much. Also really great at meeting people where they are and building connections.

On the other hand, does have a very specific and maintained personality. Cancer maybe? Instinct to form family, but idk if cancer would be accepting enough....Taurus? Is pretty affable and persistent and does seem to like people and a routine and the manner of charming is pretty in your face effective...Sag would move across the world and talk that much, but i dont think the moving should count and idk if he holds opinions strongly enough...oh maybe he does....

2) Coach Beard

Aquarius. Will not forgive them for 45 minutes of nothing learned. Like could be a Leo or whatever but man's an Aquarius.

3) Rebecca

3 options i think...Capricorn, Leo Woman, Scorpio

Capricorn - Boss (obv) but will indulge in sweets, and loves to party and be in control (of appearence, situation, etc)

Scorpio - Vindictive and sexy. Shes actually pretty sensitve...and perceptive interpersonally...A scorpio would take their revenge to these extremes...

Leo - Magnetic, is the lion etc. i think leos have more friends/mystery though

4) Keeley

See, I could say Leo because Lion motif, but I dont actually think shes a full leo..like it would suit her and shes confident enough, but....idk. The little period of time where EVERYONE is like I Love You Keeley is actually what set this off because i was like, holy shit is Keeley a Taurus? I could see aries with the effortless cool independence or libra for the (people pleasing?) too....

5) Nate

Regretfully I think Nate might be a Pisces Man. The sensitivity and pivot to immediate powertrip and neediness guilt retribution storm? like definetely is a little bitchy water sign about it if not pisces. just the like, genuinely good perception and subsequent delusions is just so pisces to me...like yeah you are the victim in your made up scenario you built. i guess could also be a scorpio man or cancer (or even libra?) but like.

6) Roy

hm. tough. which sign just shuts the fuck up but also curses you out? Aries maybe. Mad about other people not doing a good job. Virgo or Cancer maybe. Wiki says Gemini? Where are they getting these birthdays.

7) Leslie

Hm. Fairly unconcerned with one-upmanship. Not fire. Content with personal mysteries, but not deeply mysterious like some signs. Does not need to have it his way. Genuinely good at job. Virgo or Libra maybe? Perhaps another pisces.

8) Dr Fieldstone

Capricorn or Cancer. No one holds others at arms length or feels as deeply. Maybe Scorpio Virgo or Aquarius but none of those strike me as strongly.

9) Sam Obisanya

Optimistic and principled...says Sagittarius to me. Ah. Wiki informs me that has a canonical early January Capricorn birthday. Eh. I guess. What if Im right

10) Trent Crimm

Hm. Aq comes naturally, but Virgo or Leo could also suit. Aries would be as incisive but dont think an aries would go about breaking down barriers as methodically.

What do yall think?

#posting nonsense about ted lasso in 2022 #like genuinely meaningless but hi #i dont include specific spoilers but have some specific incidences in mind for some (alluded to)#if yall have any thoughts please i just finished and i need

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enderwoah · 4 years ago

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a short post about fundy that turned into a rant

the dreamsmp fandom on fundy only has two sides:

“wilbur neglected fundy and never gave him any attention!!!!! he never put him in any position of power, completely never paid attention to him, always focused on tommy and did nothing to help him EVER!! hence why he rebelled and ran for president!!”

“wilbur always paid attention to fundy and babied him constantly!!!! that’s partially why he rebelled so he could be in power, blah blah blahh, but it made tommy mad and!” etc etc

i feel like the second opinion tends to be the least accurate. wilbur did baby fundy, yeah, when he remmebered him! has anyone noticed (i might have said this before) that fundy was the only person that wasn’t in a position of power in l’manburg? like it was there, on the wiki. tubbo was like, secretary of state, tommy was the right hand man, wilbur was the prez, ofc, but fundy? citizen. WHAT? how do you make a FOUNDING FATHER a CITIZEN?!

augh.

fundy is my favortie character for the sole reason of his backstory. it’s like. everyone else’s character is deffo made for a roleplay -- basically a blank slate for things to happen to them. a self-insert. (except for wilbur’s ive talked about that before tho.) FUNDY. FUNDY is a book character. the son of the general/president, elisted into your father’s war and tossed aside in favor of his even younger right hand man, thinking that you’re not experienced enough to do anything important??? bruh.

i wrote something on discord about this once, under the cut

“and can we talk about fundy??? he (as a person, floris) wants to be on pogtopia's side, but honestly? fundy's in-rp character would be better off being like 'yeah, i wanna join my dad's side! because....you know...im supposed to.' but then we consider the fact that wilbur basically never paid any attention to fundy as a son -- have y'all EVER thought about the fact that fundy is the ONLY FOUNDING FATHER that ISNT mentioned in the anthem?? 'with wilbur, tommy, tubbo, not eret???' are you kidding me wilbur?? he was also the only person that wasnt in a postion of power. seriously?

schlatt actually put fundy into power, so i feel like it'd be more ic for him to originally be like yeah, i wanna be on wilbur's side before realizing that schlatt treats him better than wilbur ever did.”

look, i would have been SLAIN if fundy started out as someone who wanted to be on pogtopia’s side who slowly grew to accept schlatt because ‘woah...this guy actually let me be powerful? he let me DO THINGS, i’m...important??’

i totally get him staying there because genuinely, nobody irl wants to be on schlatts side (let me be with the funky roleplay man not the senile old guy who is also equally good at roleplaying and just as cool as wilbur and why doesn’t anyone want to be on schlatt’s side can someone pLEASE EXPLAIN??), but in terms of being in character, gosh, that’d be pretty funky.

my friend on the discord, mae, said it as follows

“It feels like Fundy wanted to show his father that he is strong, which would explain why he decided to run against Pog2020 in the election. It's clear that Fundy doesn't really want to be on Schlatt's side, however this is the first time that someone has given him this powerful position and he doesn't want to lose that by joining Pogtopia.

Just like you said when you talked about Fundy not being in the L'manburg anthem, Wilbur also said that Fundy was 'too young' and that 'he doesn't understand' when Schlatt said that he wanted to promote Fundy.“

AND OH ABSOLUTELY AMAZING YES YES I LOVE 100%!!!

ive written a couple of fics about wilbur and something that i really jump on is the fact that his character REALLY wants people to be dependent on him, so when fundy ran against him and then took it a step further and practically disowned him? direct punch in the gut to wilbur's villain desires.

wilbur wants power. he wants control. all of those things have to do with others. and if he cant have it then, in his own words, no one can, and him keeping fundy out of power is his way to keep control over him.

because who knows how fundy would have acted if he was in more control than wilbur? unpredictable, so dangerous.

thank you for coming to my TEDtalk.

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