#i think im a lot funnier than i am

[honkygay]

distortion michaels tiktok feed

• old lady falling down the stairs stim board

• The Worms Come To Consume You ASMR - Jane Prentiss

• tiktok of an AITA post of Tim venting about Jon and he renames The Magnus Institute to The Magnolia Institute For Assholes

• door stimboard

• helen duetting jon just to stare into the camera and she ratios him so hard everytime by 34k likes

• jons tiktoks filled with either statements or him looking more and more like he wants to cry and pass out everyday. no ones concerned except for martin

• martins positivity slideshows of hopecore poetry

• peter lukas’ corecore slideshows meant to depress and makes the viewer doomscroll, michael blocks him

[knockoff-conlon]

she jacked on my cowboy till i kellyed

[spacesquidlings]

Just a few memes i made from a little thing I wrote about my OCs <3

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Bro I was reenacting the "Just So" clip while I was putting away the dishes and when Frank yelled at Barnaby I was gonna say "oi fuck you" y'know because I was being silly but what came out was an almost PERFECT imitation of Barnaby's voice- I couldn't even finish the "fuck you" because I broke down laughing

Btw the reason this is so funny is because I'm a 5'2" Latino AFAB with NO experience in voice acting whatsoever yet for some reason the spirit of Giant Blues Clues decided my vocal chords were the PERFECT place to set up real estate

Anyway peace and love

HAGHASBCAKJSCNAKLD I WHEEZED

[xiphoid-processing]

I love your recent Vanyar family tree art! The character designs and names are 💯 Read your tags and I would be delighted to hear your thoughts about them !

!!!!aaaaaaa thank u!! i have SO many thoughts they are swirling in my head like a hurricane and i will take any excuse to talk about them! I dont want this to clog up space on a dash so my (very) extended rants are going to be below the cut

First off, Imin and Iminyē! First generation elves! I think they were definitely of the more curious of the first elves, excluding Tata and Tatiē, but that def did come and bite them in the back when Morgoth learned of them unfortunately. But they were people who were so in love with the world to me, and they extended their love to their daughter, Minyakwēn, when she was born

Bc the first elves just kinda,, showed up, there had to have been a first baby elf, and to me that's Minyakwēn. She's not as outward looking as her parents, much more content to stay in one place and let life flow by, which is what makes her live longer than Imin and Iminyē. And Arispar! A hunter, as his name would suggest, who's a little blunt and brash but genuinely a good guy. His parents were also of the 1st gen and they uhh,, got got some while before he and Minyakwēn met, which set him on a pseudo-nomadic life walking around the lake with other hunters. He DID get to meet Imin and Iminyē tho, and they loved him and all but told Minyakwēn to marry him bc they liked him so much

And then their kids!! Isqael and Nereäri!! Nereäri is, of course, the much bolder of the two, always running off and always getting into trouble while his parents or older sister chased after him. There was, of course, genuine reason for their distress when he did so, but he didnt really understand it until after Minyakwēn and Arispar had disappeared, and he ran a bit too far one day. Isqael was the much calmer one, more like her mother in that she much preffered to let life pass her by. She took a vow to Varda (though at the time they just called her Tintánië) and lived her life relatively shut off from others, even more so after Nereäri's death. She was the first of her family to have any sort of enhanced ability when it came to visions, which pushed her a bit more towards her vows. When Lindaómë came along it was like seeing color again, and they fumbled their way through a courtship and marriage and then kids. Though at the ahores of Cuiviénen the good could never really last long, what with Morgoth about, and Lindaómë died as many before her had

And now we're at Ingwë, Indis, and their little brother Ingalaurë. Ingalaurë had all but just been born when Lindaómë died, and he doesn't really remember her, but Ingwë and Indis do. Theyre almost heavily overprotective of him, since Isqael is all but in a state of half-fadedness by then. Airefëa is a name with a bit more premonition behind it than others, due to Isqael's nature, which she passed on in a way to Ingalaurë, but he ended up being more than just gifted in visions but straight up able to hear the Music better than an elf really should. Ingwë leaves with Oromë, yadda yadda, he comes back, and the elves start planning to leave. Isqael is very much not planning to leave her home, the house she built with her and her beloved, and she is keeping Ingalaurë with her. She does not trust Oromë despite her love for Varda. Ingwë and Indis try and persuade her to come with, and she relents at the last minute. Its kinda in vain though bc she dies just after they cross the blue mountains. But anyways her kids make it to Aman more or less intact

Nothing interesting really happens with Ingwë after that, which he is eternally relieved by, and we all know Indis' side of it all. Its probably a bit of irony that Ingalaurë marries Éveähúna, at the end of the day. She can feel the music in the same way he can, and they find a lot of solace in each other and are friends long before they consider courting. Glorfindel's name is a bit of an awkward moment for the two of them ngl. They both kinda know that he's gonna go and die in fire, though they cant quite tell what kind of fire. Ingalaurë doesnt really want to place any sort of premonitic name onto his son, and so just names him Laurefindelë. Éveähúna, on the other hand, has the opposite idea and names him Umbarnáro.

Ingalaurë is def the favorite uncle of Indis' kids, and they all love to talk to him. Ingalaurë does end up following across the ice when the day comes, and the ice does get him, but slightly funnier is the fact that Fingolfin and Lalwen both realize that they're now in charge of their baby cousin who's not a whole lot older than Turgon ngl and feeling just sheer dread, partly bc Glorfindel was just a bit too much like Nereäri and prone to getting in trouble, but also bc they havent forgotten the time when he managed to smuggle fifty horses into Ingwë's palace without him noticing

[paranoid-radio]

[juniestar]

There’s this guy I know who I sort of hate bc we were study buddies in college except I did 90% of the work and stopped him from failing his classes and also he was a massive hater of everybody in a way I somehow am not and also despite our study buddy thing if I ever tried to actually be friends he’d find an excuse to not let that happen anyway I text him out of the blue once a month to check in on whether or not he’s found a job yet in new york purely so I can estimate my odds which I think must be funny from his perspective. Like no preamble just “hey have you found a job yet” “no” “damn nothing?” “Yeah nothing”

[synthetic-sonata]

one day ill post my pokemon games + spinoffs tierlist that im slowly chipping away at and have been since, like, june or july . but i dont think people are ready

[planetpiastri]

pairing: oscar piastri x fem!reader [no faceclaim] summary: you're a meme rapper with a cult following on youtube, and oscar is always in your comments, but it isn't until you release your first single that everyone puts two and two together. notes: this is one of the very first requests i ever received, and finally FINALLY it is done!! we are so back

liked by oscarpiastri, patriciooward, and others

ynusername guys if i wrote a song about dino nuggets would you unfollow me be honest

view all 1,458 comments

username1 yeah

ynusername 😔

oscarpiastri no

ynusername 😁

username2 maybe

ynusername i'm getting mixed signals

oscarpiastri

liked by ynusername, landonorris, and 502,876 others

oscarpiastri Oscar goes outside: Japan edition

view all 8,482 comments

username3 you're not even outside in any of these pictures oscar what

landonorris who are we getting dinner with, young man? 🤨

oscarpiastri My mum 😊 landonorris yeah right

username4 omg any yn fans in the comments?? mother liked the post 👀

username5 yeah they follow each other lol i don't think they've ever met though username6 they've definitely interacted, but yeah i think they're just like online acquaintances haha

ynusername nice berries mate

oscarpiastri Thanks, I've heard that before

liked by ynusername, oscarpiastri, and 251,876 others

mclaren Happy Birthday Oscar! 🥳

view all 7,654 comments

username7 guys why's oscar kinda...

username8 WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN??

oscarpiastri 😁😁😁

ynusername happy birthday. oscarpiastri Ok that's a lot of negative energy please step back username9 help these interactions are always so random??

username10 oscar's waist looking SNATCHED omg

username11 guys is this a safe space for me to confess something?

landonorris no, keep it to yourself

ynusername

liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant, and others

ynusername finally releasing a single woohoo!! 'bark bark' coming out april 19th on spotify and apple music ^-^

view all 1,874 comments

username12 OMG YESSSS

username13 WHAT YN THIS IS SO EXCITING!!!! CONGRATS!!!!!

oscarpiastri What's it about

ynusername you have to stream the song and find out silly oscarpiastri Is it about me ynusername oh my god

ynusername

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, and others

ynusername the type of face you'd go to war for (look past the camera, he's shy)

view all 2,054 comments

landonorris shucks, i'm blushing

ynusername i am so obviously not talking about you

username14 NEW MUSIC WHEN??

ynusername the single JUST came out CHILL!

username15 the last slide??

username16 new music hint? ynusername no that's just me talking about oscar and lando landonorris ....which one am i? ynusername i literally called you a slut nine times in suzuka username17 so oscar is lust???? oscarpiastri Thank you Barbie!!

liked by mclaren, ynusername, and 516,392 others

oscarpiastri Busy busy week, but glad the secret's out. My girlfriend is cooler and funnier than yours, by the way.

view all 7,990 comments

ynusername you're so hot i am gnawing at the bars of my enclosure

ynusername the hair?? the smile?? the grabbable waist?? WOW!!

ynusername gonna write another song about you

ynusername if i saw you in the street i'd catcall you

ynusername i want you.

oscarpiastri I love you too

username18 FKSDHJGLKHDJG IM SO HAPPY YN CAN BE UNHINGED AND CRAZY NOW GOOD FOR HER GOOD FOR THEM!!

request: hiiii babe! i love ur account! i was wondering if u could do an oscar piastri x meme rapper gf with an @addy_kate fc. like shes actually really funny and her music is oddly good (like tmg).

tagging: @thearchieves @sheridamn @nikfigueiredo @charlig123456789 @ilove-tswizzle @aandreea2005 @sideboobrry @vellicora @eire-the-egg @marymustdie @cocote1410 @taygrls @koalapastries @vroomvroommuppett @nichmeddar @d3kstar @333kiki @ririyulife @resident-swiftie @zimm04 @jupiter-je-taime @ever_bizzare @blue-isnt-avaliable @iifloweringnightsii @graciewrote @formulaal @m0cha-bunny @marvelsimps @mehrmonga @elliegrey2803 @theblueblub @gwginnyweasley @sltwins @f1kenzzz @alexmarie29 @donttouchthegnote @clemswrld @hollieeelol @leireggsworld @luvvtrent @maddie-naps @lilcowboy0 @tygecjjd @skepvids @bwddermilch @pnkwhskyprncss @notawc @landossainz @janegxi @chaotic_version @lookatitlaterlol @cometsrodrigo @lizzypiastri @nixisracing @lavviee @yaesflorist

if you want to be added to any of my taglists, fill out this form

[struwberrii]

I've seen your hq! date night ideas and wonder if I can ask for this; what about their indoor date ideas for maybe when they're too tired from games/works or maybe when they have to raincheck bc of storms, etc.? Any characters of your choices but I'd love kuroo, oikawa, and maybe hinata, please?

Thank you!

haikyuu boys indoor date night headcanons ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

thank you for the request anon!!

i love this as a person who prefers to stay in too (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)

characters: hinata, kageyama, bokuto, akaashi, kenma, kuroo, iwaizumi, oikawa

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

hinata

movie night date!!

would probably want to just hang out on the couch and eat snacks

probably would want to match an old dad humor comedy, like an adam sandler movie

would also door dash you guys fast food

you guys commentary on the movie make it 10% funnier

probably is so tired he falls asleep half way through the movie

i feel like he knows all the best deserts and you guys would be feasting

LOTS of cuddling the entire time

kageyama

board games!!

i feel like he would NOT play about spoons

also i feel like he’d we oddly good at monopoly

you guys make food, put music on and just play games together

he probably lets you win sometimes bc he thinks it’s cute when you get excited

kisses you on the head as a reward for winning (if you do win)

he gets really into the games though, but your happiness is his priority

bokuto

karaoke date!!

i feel like he’d prefer going out for a date but if you were tired he’d stay in with you

he is SO LOUD

he hits those notes though

he locks in extra hard when a bruno mars song comes on the tv

you guys eat chips and drink soda all night

constantly motivating you to do a duet with him

would probably sing so hard he’d get tired and fall asleep in your living room (·•᷄∩•᷅ )

akaashi

cooking lessons online!!

probably brings you flowers before

would probably look up a video and try to replicate the recipe with you

you guys make dinner and dessert :3

super cute, like he feeds you while you’re cooking and it’s so romantic the whole time

you guys listen to like jazz music

the food actually ends up really good

kenma

video game date!! (boring ik im sorry)

he teaches you how to play his fav games

he’s vv patient too, he tries his best to teach you though even if you kinda suck lol

probably orders you guys fast food too

let’s you win when you guys play fighting games occasionally and if he does beat you he makes sure it’s a very close game

let’s you feed him (so cute)

you guys end up falling asleep to a movie together at the end of the night

kuroo

lego building date!!

or like any model of something lol

would probably get something super nerdy like a star wars ship

makes you guys drinks while you build them

i feel like he wears glasses for some reason like does he? idk am i crazy? i feel like hed be wearing glasses during this

brags if he finishes his section before you even though he gave you a way harder part to build than his lol

helps you after though

every little thing is distracting you guys but you end up finishing by the end of the night and keeping it in your bedroom

iwaizumi

yoga date!!

he would probably talk you into doing it and put a video on the tv for you guys

i feel like even indoors he would still try to stay active and fit

helps you stretch or spots you

the date probably turns into him giving you a massage (if u guys r anything like that youll NEED that massage after a 15 min yoga video)

makes you guys smoothies to drink as a treat for "finishing" even though you never finished the full video

oikawa

reading together!!

i feel like with all the stuff oikawa has going on, a chill quiet night is just what he needs at the end of the day to clear his mind

finds a book you both like and buys 2 copies so you guys can read at the same time

you guys sit cuddled on the couch reading your books under the dim lamp lighting

probably lights candles too

has audible reactions to anything crazy that happens in the book, like he'll gasp or go like "no way" out loud and then ask if you got to that part yet

you guys have a set chapter you stop at

serious discussion about the book afterwards (except its not actually that serious (ᵕ—ᴗ—)

you end up falling asleep in his arms on the couch hehehe

[thinkingrocks]

vox's life: headcannons

im an electrical engineer and i have opinions on this character. moral of the story: don't fuck with CRT capacitors, shits scary

i have a lot of Vox thoughts, or Voughts, and i will be rambling about them at legnth under the cut.

TLDR: he invented zuckerberging. also i see his "canon" death date of 1950s and respectfully disagree. its way funnier if he died the year widespread television became a thing. the fruits of his labor were all for naught etc etc

1928: Vox was in college as an electrical engineer when the first ever live TV Demo happened, and I think he was immediately obsessed with it. Decided he'd do anything to work with TV. He and his friend/roommate at the time went full tilt into learning about TVs and working on them, and by the time they graduated, they had the beginnings of what would be a very profitable company.. together.

1930s: Out of the two of them, Vox has the better social skills(relative), so he's the one who talks to investors and handles that part of the business, though he still works on some tech. He decides he likes talking to people, marketing, manipulating, being a little showman. I like to think this ties into that one trivia fact that he likes watching commercials.

early 1940s: He starts wondering why he's splitting half of this company(HIS company) with some guy who can't even bother to attend business meetings. Tensions start rising, he starts using some of that handy manipulation skill he honed in business on his friends

1945: Tensions break. Through less than legitimate means, he steals the company out from under his partner. His partner threatens to go start his own, since he did the majority of the tech work. We can't have that. Vox doesn't kill him himself, imo, because he is kind of allergic to getting his hands dirty. He revs up that media training and uses it to create a smear campaign so brutal and widespread that his former partner offs himself. Problem solved

Late 1940s: Vox starts getting paranoid about people trying to steal his empire from him, funny that. He starts trying to do everything himself, because he doesn't trust anyone. Starts losing a lot of sleep, getting a little insane but its fine man. Don't worry about it.

1947: Sleep deprived, paranoid, and working on a final prototype model due soon, he electrocutes himself because you shouldn't fuck with CRT capacitors. Wakes up in hell with electricity powers and a CRT head because it's hilarious.

Alastor: Yeah we all know what we're here for. I don't think they ever met in life, but I definitely think Vox knew of him. Alastor was actively broadcasting during the 20s up until his death in 1933, and college student Vox I think listened to a lot of radio while studying and working. I also think in the later years, Alastor was never technically caught as a serial killer, but "hey I think that radio guy was that one killer, cuz he stopped broadcasting right after he stopped killing" was like one of those insane conspiracy statements you'd say to get a laugh at parties, but Vox always secretly kind of believed it, and was VERY vindicated in hell.

I am fully prepared for actual canon to contradict all of this but that's fine because it means they finally had to get season 2 out.

[dollarstoreartsupplies]

okay so i keep thinking about this post that i made about a polywagon soulmates au where they have eachother's birthdays on their arms (including hermie's like... three years ago and 1912) and im not gonna write it but i AM gonna think about how differently the teens would handle it

Taylor:

taylor would be SO thrilled, he thinks it makes him extra like an anime protaganist to have not only four soulmates, but also one long dead soul mate (perhaps the SAME soulmate, thats been reincarnated to the youngest soulmate, god thats such an ANIME PLOTLINE--)

he shows them off, and knows at the very least about normal from when they hung out as little kids, but anytime someone asks if he knows who they are he just mysteriously goes 'heh'

hangs out with normal a lot more pre-canon, considers him his main "sidekick"

when he was little his mom tried to explain that the two weird dates were sort of common, and that sometimes soulmates can be platonic, sometimes they don't cross paths time-wise, etc, but he literally could not give less of a shit he thinks it's COOL

Normal:

normal is so excited!! he has FOUR soulmates!! four!! so many people are destined to love him as foretold by the UNIVERSE!!

lark 100% has tried to disillusion him on the whole thing (the other kiddads know about link, especially after their kids were born with a soulmark dating back to the TITANIC and grant had to come clean) but it didn't really work

he knows about taylor from when they were little kids, and he ABSOLUTLEY hunted down a school directory with everyone's birthdays to try and find everyone else, so he knows about scary, he's just waiting for her to bring it up first

very clingy to taylor pre-canon and definitly annoys scary trying to get her to hang out with them

he's a firm believer in being able to have More Soulmates than just your soulmark, so from pretty early on he's really trying to manifest hermie and link into also being his soulmates (and is SO EXCITED to find out he's right)

Link:

sad boy :( he thinks that taylor and normal are HIS soul mates but he isn't either of theirs :(

his dads definitely just chose the day they found him to be his birthday since they don't know exactly when he was born, so not only does the year of the 1912 soulmark not match, but his birthday doesn't even either

grant is REALLY worried about link getting found out as a Titantic Baby/trying to keep him safe that he actually actively decides to go the most upsetting approach by telling link basically that sometimes it happens where soulmates don't match up perfectly

marco isn't really for THAT, and tries to push nontraditional soul-matches and platonic soulmate things but it's not really effective

it's part of why link is So clingy to his dads and doesn't like the idea of siblings/pets, he already is predisposed to the idea of there not being enough love to go around

he's really happy but also SO MAD after the titanic discovery

i'm trying to decide if it's funnier if hermie is his soulmate or if link is the only person who ISN'T soulmates with hermie

hermie's soul-date is replaced by fuckinnnn chris from the simulation's birthday for link hfjdkl

Scary:

when she was little she was so so so so so so so excited about soulmates, especially having FOUR

she was super sad about her presumably dead 1912 soulmate, and really hopes that they had other soulmates too that matched up with them better

kind of hopes the much younger soulmate IS a platonic soulmate so she doesn't have to wait longer to meet them

she 100% threw secret birthday parties for her soulmates when she was little

her parents weren't soulmates, but her mom and terry jr are, which just adds to her hurt and confusion when they get together

once she becomes emo TM she starts one wearing long sleeves to hide her soulmarks and claims that she doesn't HAVE any to sound edgy (even though a lot of people know that she does because like,,, a year ago she wouldn't shut up about them)

tries to deny for a really long time that her and the other teens are soulmates but when she gets doodlerized doodle-scary exposes her and shes UPSET about it

hermie:

kind of refused to acknowlege the teens are his soulmates, no matter how obvious it is

baffled when it becomes clear HIS birthday is the one on everyone elses arms but just from like,,, three years ago becuase that's not??? when he was born???

he's half convinced his soulmarks are part of some scam instead of being real and... honestly so am i

build-a-bear hermie either has no soulmarks or they're in a different place from regular hermie's, like they're not exactly... real?? and it makes it even sadder/more confusing from everyone emotionally after everything (except taylor, whose like 'idk still hermie')

bonus d00d:

idk i just want them to be included :) maybe everyone has like a random string of numbers somewhere exceedingly non traditional like their ankle that mean nothing to them until woah eldritch monstronisty yeah that would do it

they dont have soulmarks but they make themselves look like they do becuase really what is a soulmate if not the friends we made along the way

[fir3ylolol]

we want you! pt. 4

pairing: Johnny Cage x Reader

tw: oral sex, public, almost caught, mostly fluffy tbh, gn pronouns

a/n: finally, a pt 4! i've been busy with school this week, so im glad i got this out lol. enjoy the fluffy old man hehe

word count: 1.74 k

other parts

Ao3

It’s been about 3 days since you last saw Johnny. You’ve got class, and he’s got work. That doesn’t stop him from texting you. Constantly. He’s sending you texts about what he ate, pictures of cute things he saw, and whining about not hanging out. It’s a lot of whining to be fair. But it’s cute. Especially when he sends selfies where he’s making big sad puppy dog eyes.

But finally, you reach another free day. He’s been counting down the days, complaining more that he can’t come over at 6 A.M. sharp. But you need more time than that, and he understands. That doesn’t mean he’s not constantly asking you if you’re ready. Like, every 5 minutes. How does he have this much energy? When you let him know you’re ready, you swear it’s only been a couple of minutes before the knock on your door comes. You open the door, but Johnny nearly bursts in, capturing you in a bear hug as he lifts you slightly. There you hang, as he squeezes you tight and lets out a deep breath. Face buried in your chest, you hear him mumble out, “Man, I missed you.” As he sets you down, you giggle slightly. “You know it’s only been a couple of days right?” He sighs and droops forward comedically. “I know, I know, but! You’re so much more fun than sitting around all day.”

You hold his hand and smile at him, which causes him to stand up straighter, as you speak quietly, “That’s very sweet of you.” He wraps his arms around your waist, gently touching his forehead to yours, smiling out, “Well, I am well known for how sweet I am.” You giggle at him, which makes him smile even more. “God, I don’t think I’ve ever been funnier than when I’m with you,” he laughs with you. You slip from his grasp and grab your bag, walking out the door. “Come on, I don’t have all day.” Johnny quickly walks out after you, watching as you lock the door. But the second you do, he grabs your hand and pulls you along. His steps are fast, and he’s half-dragging you along. As you practically get dragged along the sidewalk, you can’t help but admire his excitement. It’s quite sweet.

He screeches to a halt and you bump into his back. He turns around to grin at you wide, asking excitedly, “What do you think?” It’s a hole-in-the-wall restaurant, an old shader over the worn door. He walks in the door, still holding your hand tight. It’s quite cute inside, like a warm, comfortable library, with large sofas and thrifted coffee tables. He speaks to an employee as you look around before he gets your attention to follow him again. You start up a thin staircase, with creaky wooden floors under your feet. It suddenly opens up to a rooftop area, flowering plants pouring out over the trellis in the center, with comfortable-looking chairs underneath. You sit down, amazed at how picture-esque it is. Johnny whispers to the employee who brought you up, who nods as he leaves again. Johnny sits down with you, smiling at you, which you reciprocate. “What do you think? You like it?” He says softly as he traces shapes on your hand. “Do I like it? It’s gorgeous! How did you know about this place?” You express with adoration. He pretends to be flustered, “Oh you know, I’ve got connections. And I like seeing how happy you get when I take you somewhere nice.”

The employee returns, placing a tray with a coffee pot, 2 mugs, and 2 small cakes on the table before leaving again. Johnny grabs the pot, pouring cups for the two of you. “I’m not allowed to have caffeine so, does hot chocolate sound good?” You nod, before laughing, “Why can’t you have caffeine?” He falters slightly but continues pouring. He coughs before talking, “Well…my daughter worries about me, so she asked me to watch my intake.” Your eyes widen slightly, surprised that it took him this long to mention it. “You have a daughter? Wow…what does she do?” He looks in your eyes, happy that you’re not weirded out. “Well, she works with the Special Forces, she’s a commander. You would like her, she’s funny.” You take a sip from your mug, almost burning your tongue, but quickly end up giggling. “Funny like you, or actually funny?” He snorts, leaning back in his chair, “Those are the same thing, you know.”

You’re glad you’ve lightened the mood, but you worry a little. What if this relationship continues, and she thinks you’re weird? But you forget them the second Johnny meets your eyes again, warm and full of compassion. Everything is good right now. No need for stress. Johnny picks up a fork and grabs a piece of the cake in front of you. He leans closer to you and leads it to your mouth. You take the bite, melting at the taste. You mumble out around the food, “Holy shit. That’s so good.” He lights up even more, taking a bite for himself. He does the exact same, covering his mouth as he speaks through it, “That’s really fucking good.” You both laugh, happy just to be here and experiencing it. You both end up taking your time, enjoying the company, and eating more delicious cake. When you finally leave, walking out onto the sidewalk, you half-brace yourself for another dragging. But he walks slower this time, admiring the shops you pass and staring at you. Until he suddenly stops, leading you down a park path, large trees shading your path.

“It’s nice here,” he finally breaks the silence between you two. You pause for a deep breath before speaking, “Yeah, it is nice. I’m glad I’m here with you.” He squeezes your hand quickly, admiring you with genuine eyes. “You’re so nice, you know that? I’m always so happy with you. I like spending all this time with you.” You wrap your arm around him, leaning into him. He stops walking, looks at you, and gently kisses you. As the wind blows behind you, you lean into him, his warmth and stability and kindness draw you in further. He leans back, looking at you again as you speak, “You’ve been looking at me a lot today. Do I look especially good?” He leans back in, resting his head against yours, “You always look good.” Shivers travel up your spine as his fingers dance along your back. You feel him back up, steering you back along the pathway. “You wanna see a movie? I heard they were showing classics at the local theater.” You nod, walking along with him, trying to shake off how flustered he made you.

You reach the theater, which is across the street from the end of the park, and Johnny orders two tickets to a movie called “Ninja Mime” which sounds familiar. You walk inside and see the poster for it directly inside the door. You smack his arm lightly, whispering to him, “You bought us tickets to see your movie??” He grins, “I’m sorry, I thought you wanted to see a classic.” You both make your way into the screening room, completely empty as the final trailer rolls. You sit next to him, lifting the arm rest between you so you can get closer. He pulls you in close, whispering again, “You better behave. I don’t take kindly to talking during the movie.” You nod, but he’s put an idea in your head. The lights dim, and the movie starts, watching as a younger Johnny leaps around the screen silently in mime makeup. He’s fully invested in his own performance, serious face on display. You do a final check of the theater, fully empty besides you two.

You slide out of your chair slowly, avoiding his eyeline. You crawl slowly between his legs, finally getting his attention. He looks slightly confused like he really didn’t notice that you moved. Your hand gently rubs along his inner thigh, which causes him to jump slightly. He looks more eager now, no longer confused. He slightly shifts his hips so you have a better angle, and you unzip his pants slowly. He’s not quite hard yet, gently removing him and starting to stroke him slowly. He moves back and forth, already feeling the effect of your touch. Maybe since you were in public, but you’ve forgotten to care, leaning forward to slowly lick from base to tip, intense eye contact before sinking down. He jumps again, hand clutching the arm tight. You slowly bob your head, trying to keep eye contact and swirling your tongue against the sensitive underside. He bites his hand, a whine lightly slipping out. It only eggs you on more, speeding up slightly to watch him squirm more.

Suddenly, he grabbed your head and held you down against him. You hear a door creak and a few footsteps before they suddenly stop. You breathe through your nose as quietly as you can, looking up to see Johnny, face completely blank. It was impressive honestly. Suddenly, the steps return, getting quieter as you hear the door creak again. Johnny lets go, breathing out a sigh of relief. You sit up slightly, sputtering and coughing. He leans down, grabbing your chin lightly. “God, you’re so hot.” He sits back up, leading your head back down. You eagerly accept, going back down again, moving a lot faster than before. His whimpers could be heard lightly echoing throughout the theater as his grasp on you tightened. You can tell he’s close, the situation has made him more sensitive. You were right, as he holds you back down again, this time hunching over you with a heady moan as he cums right there. You swallow it down, continuing to move your tongue. He starts twitching, still too sensitive. You finally pull away, as he leans back with a tired look on his face. You sit back down next to him and lean into his side. After a few seconds, you whisper out, “So what did I miss?” He snort-laughs as he sits back up, looking at you, “All the best parts.” You kiss him lightly, which he gladly accepts. As you pull away, you whisper a final time. “So, are you gonna leave your dick out the whole movie, or?”

[melodyatlas]

🪄🎉 Congratulations! DC comics has just given you absolute free rein to write a six to twelve issue comic run with no limits or oversights! Anything you write can and will be used against you in a court of law be taken as canon henceforth with no takebacksies

What characters do you choose? Do you make it a standalone elseworlds type of deal or add on to an existing series? Do you have a particular artist you'd ask for? What would the plot be?

my immediate thought was JASON JASON JASON, not wait 🤔🤔 TIM, but hmmmm, jason 🤔 so lets go with both 🥰🥰

given the opportunity i would take robin away from tim again lmao, its past time for him to move on. and just because i think it would be funnier than letting him actually move on to his own mantle, i would probably have him "steal" another one (though idk, maybe giving it more thought id let him use Drake again, or give him something completely new)

and id have jason kill again- look, narratively at this point does it make sense to have him start to kill again? no, probably not, it's been so many years and they've sort of grinded him down so much that he's not the same as he was back when it did make sense- but don't worry id come up with a rly good reason 🥰💜

and catch me making jaytim canon 😂

its funny actually because most of the time i don't ship things because i actually want them to be canon, but the irreparable mess i could make in a scenario like this 👀👀

because we're keeping it as part of the canon timeline but making it focus on tim and jason, id do one of those slash titles they're so fond of, but make it clear by the end that it's actually slash lmao

if they don't want them to be together after the run then they have to go with the fact that they're messy ex's which works just as well for me 🥰

this is more of a jokey answer jumping off point than what i would actually do, but let's be real, most of it would be included, its just slight changes to make the details work better 😂

as far as the actual plot goes? i would need to rly focus in to give a good, true answer, and idk that i have the brainpower for that rn, so let's keep it vague enough to just say there would be some sort of inciting incident that effects both jason and tim introspectively because i need it to make jason take up real bullets again and also push tim out of the robin mantle

i would love for jason to ask tim to be his robin again and for tim to be like "this?? again?? we mightve changed a lot but we both know im still never gonna take you up on that. also literally what the fuck are you thinking?? am i fifteen again? is this a nightmare?? pls pinch me"

jason could go off on tim about how if tim was still fifteen, he'd still be robin. /oh wait/. he IS still robin. weird. maybe they haven't changed all that much after all.

and tim wouldn't be able to stop thinking about that actually, and might take up a new mantle in his new quest to not only prove jason wrong about tim not changing, but to prove jason wrong about /jason/ not changing

so yeah, jasons off killing shitheads again and tims off trying to stop him and theyre both finding themselves in the process

[fountainpenguin]

can i be honest im so intrigued by ur idea of a dev/trev/bev friendgroup even though you mentioned it maybe twice during ur liveposting

i know its mostly cuz they have basically the same name but i think its funny... saddest soppy wet-est kid in the school, some guy with hair in the ugliest shade of green and a girl who loves football and owns a talk show have something in common, somehow

I think we should go all the way and have a Trev, Dev, Bev, and Kev friend squad. And we can add the random kid who's listed on the kindness chart by the name Whatevs. Just call them The Evs.

It's so stupid, but I genuinely am shocked they all have rhyming names and they aren't a background squad. It is ridiculously funny to me that the vibe I get from Hazel's class is that the creators came up with a bunch of Ev names as their filler (with Dev specifically introducing Trev, Bev, and Kev to Hazel when she gets to school) and Dev himself fits this rhyming pattern.

Dev: Dad, I'm one of the youngest kids in my grade... did you just copy the names the other parents gave their children? Dale: Dale: Dale: No.

Even Devin rhymes with Kevin

I feel like Dev and Kev cross paths sometimes since Kev is a child model / the brand face for a popular soft drink. It also makes sense they wouldn't since being a child model and the son of a billionaire are two different things.

But of the people in Dev's class, it is astronomically funny to me that Dev looked at Trev and Bev and said "I want these regulars" and he doesn't seem particularly into hanging out with Kev.

Anyway, whatever this trio and/or quartet has going on cracks me up. I like that Dev and Trev both have a crush on Bev (Trev was distraught when they broke up in the finale due to Anti-Fairies magically setting Bev up with someone else).

Utterly fascinated that A New Wish canon is that Anti-Fairies don't have to follow Da Rules. Logically that makes total sense, but it's still interesting because we didn't see them pushing this angle in the OG series... but this somehow makes Timmy and Vicky unwishing each other's stuff - something godkids aren't supposed to be able to do iirc - that much funnier. Me, ever since I saw the episode: Why can Foop just tell Vicky that Timmy is a godkid? If he's her godparent, he's not allowed to do that; godkids have to cross paths on their own. Me now: Ahhh...... I understand...

I actually went back and watched, and Trev and Bev are definitely better friends with each other than either is with Dev. Trev and Bev are near each other in a lot of the background scenes. We don't really see them interacting, but they do seem to know each other and/or enjoy each other's company, so I thought it was funny when they were apparently dating (holding hands with hearts in eyes) in the finale.

Meanwhile, Dev rarely approaches either of them beyond being pulled into Hazel's Broadway show, where he's a back-up dancer, which isn't necessarily his choice (especially considering how happy he is in the song despite being a jerk in the other scenes... lmao).

- although he did give Bev double pudding when we know he was being super picky about whom he gave it to, which doesn't necessarily mean anything, but I think it's funny.

Oh, I was gonna post a screenshot but I can't because the red lighting on her pudding-slathered body in that scene sets off my hemophobia and that's even BEFORE the zombie stuff, lmao... Just trust me on this- she has a cup in each hand.

And we KNOW the only person she could've gotten the pudding from is Dev, who is confirmed to have hoarded all the pudding cups and was only giving them to people who impressed him. We even see him take one cup away from Jenkins after giving him two, so he was being SUPER picky.

Look at them... They are The Evs...

I just want them to be friends... They all have fun designs and personality... I think they should play on the playground or go to the movies.

sdkljfsd, Dev is the shortest one in this whole picture. Everyone in this class utterly dwarfs him. Which makes sense, because Hazel started school in this show at age 10 and Dev is 9 until the midpoint in Season 1. He's just a little guy...

Like... Does Trev KNOW Dev has a crush on Bev? I can totally imagine Dev watching them date and being like "Hey... wait a minute."

^ The face you make when you just find out your secret crush is dating your secret squish.

- I CANNOT get over the fact that Dev has a canon squish. He just wants to be Trev's friend so badly but he's too shy to talk to him... That's hilarious. I wish we would explore that, because that's not something you usually get to see explored in media. - ... I am lying. Winn is everyone's squish in this episode and that's also canon. Everyone likes Winn, AS THEY SHOULD. Winn is so friendly and kind, even (and especially) when people are nervous around them. - Dev stop having squishes on his entire class challenge (Impossible). - "Multiverse of Jenkins" except every time Hazel walks past Dev, he's head-in-hands-ing over a new person he wants to befriend but screwed up talking to.

Honestly, looking back on "Wellsington Hotellsington" makes me kind of sad because... it's obvious Dev is trying to make friends in the only way he really knows. He's being a brat and a braggart, but at least he was engaging in conversation. This is one of the only episodes (if not THE only) where he makes a real effort.

Tell us how it's really going, Mr. Many Times Bitten, Many Times Shy. Ahaha... he needs to improve himself.

I really like how we see Hazel have to work to make new friends at school and she puts effort in, so we see why people befriend her, and meanwhile Dev is just... consistently not interacting with people and then sitting around upset he has no friends. He is 9.

Anyway, I just think The Evs' dynamic would be funny to explore. It's got everything you need! Dev being the worst! Bev leading them into action, but mostly to soccer-football games! Trev being super supportive and friendly and kind! Those two dating while Dev third wheels and stares into the camera! Idk what Kev does!

I think Dev should just stand in the middle of all his squishes and say "oh no." This would be a 'fic that resolves absolutely nothing because he just vibrates slightly as sweatdrops roll down his face and he's scared to open his mouth, but I would find it funny.

They are just so silly (to me)...

[blindmagdalena]

as a 20 something with various disorders i do love to imagine homie falling for someone like me and then in his strange stalking phase the look of disgust that would fall upon his face when he sees a dirty ass bong rip happen like. maybe a saving grace for potential love interests of his (i am drunk and i love ur blog so much im in the bar restroom sending this but wow thank u for understanding him so deeply)

LMAOOOOO anon. i love you. i'm sorry i know this is from 3 days ago but i hope you have drank lots of water since then and you had a wonderful time. i love everything about this ask.

i genuinely can't think of anything funnier than going through the standard set up of a fic where homelander is gearing up to fall into full on obsession but when he opens the window he gets absolutely blasted by a wave of smoke bc they've been hotboxing in their apartment 😂😂😂

for once it's homelander going "i can fix them"