#i think i'll get one or two marks if shes generous

[edenesth]

The Way to His Heart [7]

Pairing: general!Seonghwa x wife!reader

AU: arranged marriage au (Joseon era)

Word Count: 4k

Summary: Life has been hell ever since your mother's passing many years ago. Despite being from a prominent family, you've never received the privileges associated with it. It only got worse with the arrival of your stepmother and her daughters. When the intimidating General Park was in search of a wife, your father seized the opportunity to dispose of you, simultaneously securing a connection with the powerful general—killing two birds with one stone.

Part 6 | Fic Masterlist | Part 8

"Has anyone seen the mistress?" Seonghwa inquired, having lost sight of you since breakfast that morning.

He had combed through almost the entire estate, searching for you in the House of Lotus and with Eunsook, but to no avail. He had even gone as far as to check Yunho's temporary quarters, only to find the physician alone and engrossed in his work.

The general felt a twinge of embarrassment as he recalled asking the doctor, "Do you have any clue where my wife is?" only to have the taller man furrow his brows in confusion and reply, "Wha— not to be rude, but how would I know that, my lord?"

Your husband cleared his throat loudly, looking away and feigning nonchalance, "Don't get clever with me; I'm just asking. If you don't know, just say so."

Yunho lowered his head and suppressed a laugh, "You're right. My apologies, my lord. I hope you find Lady Park soon. Her next dose of medicine is almost ready. It would be best if she takes it while it's hot; the taste is slightly more bearable."

"Right, I'll find her soon. Don't worry."

The physician nodded, "I have no doubt that you will, my lord."

With that, Seonghwa hastily exited the room, questioning his decision to come there in the first place. He couldn't fathom why he assumed you would be with the handsome doctor. Even though he hadn't found you yet, there was a sense of relief in knowing that at least you weren't anywhere near Yunho, as he had feared.

And that's how he ended up back at your quarters, interrogating the servants responsible for maintaining your garden. A frown etched on his face as they shook their heads in response, "No, master. Mistress hasn't returned here since leaving for breakfast this morning."

Worry crept in as his mind conjured up wild scenarios. What if you had been taken away? What if you got hurt somewhere, unnoticed by anyone? What if—

His eyes landed on the pavilion in your garden, and it struck him. Remembering your determination to learn lady etiquette, he chastised himself for not thinking to check his own study. He had searched almost every corner of the estate except the very place he frequented the most.

Please, let her be there.

Fingers crossed, he hurried towards the study. If he didn't find you there, he might have to organise a search party.

"There you are."

His words escaped in a breathless whisper as he spotted you standing amidst his numerous shelves, completely engrossed in the book cradled in your hands. Instant relief washed over him, and he struggled to look away. Bathed in sunlight by the window, you appeared almost ethereal in that spot, your side profile captivating.

The marks on your skin had started to fade a little, with the help of Yunho's ointment, proving its effectiveness. For your comfort, the maids were instructed not to apply makeup if you weren't leaving the estate. Besides, no one here would dare consider you anything less than beautiful; you were adored by all. Your scars only strengthened everyone's determination to protect you, not just your husband.

He continued to quietly admire you from his corner, hesitant to disturb you. As you finished one book and reached for the next on a top shelf, he chuckled at your determination, especially when you went on your toes, biting your lip in concentration.

Eventually, he sighed and approached you, reaching effortlessly for the book you were attempting to get. You gasped as you felt his presence and saw his hand beside yours, "Y-you're here, Seonghwa."

Both your breaths hitched, and your eyes widened as you turned around to face him, realising the closeness. Surprised, you stumbled backwards, and his reflexes kicked in, his arm circling your back immediately, pulling you close. Frozen, your hands rested on his chest to steady yourself.

"Yes, I'm here." He murmured, his eyes shifting to see you biting your lips shyly again, the action reigniting his desire to kiss you. You stood still as a plank, heart pounding as he slowly closed the space between you. You held your breath when feeling his nose touch yours. Never having been kissed or wanted in your life, you didn't know how to react or what to do. Was this what married couples normally do?

Maybe now you'll find out.

A chill ran down your spine when you felt his lips brush lightly against yours, "Can I..." He muttered in his deep voice, gazing down at you with hooded eyes.

Before you could form a response, the door to the study slammed open, startling the two of you, and causing you to jump apart as if caught doing something scandalous.

Damn it, so close!

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, sir! I didn't mean to interrupt; it's just that—" Jongho was a mess as he stumbled in, panting and sputtering his apology.

You quickly waved to the assistant to signal it was fine before bowing to the general, "No, please, don't worry! I was just leaving anyway. I'll see you at dinner, Seonghwa."

Smiling at you, your husband nodded, "Yes. See you, my dear," The smile disappeared as soon as you left the room, causing Jongho to gulp nervously, "This better be good."

The assistant quickly collected himself, "Oh, it will be good, sir. I can promise you that." He said, rushing to make sure the doors were shut tightly before going back to debrief his master on his latest findings.

Eunsook heaved a sigh of relief upon seeing you, her concern evident as she observed you pressing your palms against your red cheeks, "Mistress, are you feeling alright?" She inquired, checking your forehead for any signs of fever.

You nodded, "I-I'm fine," attempting to calm your rapid heartbeat. The almost-lost moment with your husband lingered continuously in your mind; your first kiss had come perilously close to happening just moments ago.

"Thank goodness, you're alright. We've been looking everywhere for you. Where were you?" She questioned, and you replied, "You were looking for me? I was just reading in Seonghwa's study."

The elderly woman continued, "Yes, your medicine is ready. Physician Jung suggested taking it while it's hot," With an obedient nod, you followed her into your room. As she fed you the herbal soup, she casually asked, "You were in the master's study, you say? Did he find you there? He was searching frantically for you."

Your blush returned as you recalled the sensation of his lips brushing against yours, "Y-yes, he knows I'm safe. Don't worry." You reassured her while the head maid beamed, unaware of the fluttering in your heart as you tried to compose yourself.

Unlike you, the general did not have the luxury to linger on thoughts of your intimate moment. He vowed to himself that once your family received the retribution they deserved, he would dedicate all his attention to you. He turned serious the moment Jongho began speaking, updating him on the latest intel gathered about your family.

"What? Do those fools actually believe I'd swap my wife for one of them? Not even in their wildest dreams will that ever happen." Seonghwa scoffed in disbelief. The mere thought of your stepsisters was enough to repulse him, and he couldn't wait to send them to an early grave.

He pulled out the Jang family records again, asking, "And as for this... are there any updates? We only have a few days left until I return to work."

Jongho nodded proudly, presenting a couple of documents obtained in a not-so-honest manner, "You were right, sir. Your suspicions were accurate. We found just the thing to prove it. With this, we can finalise the plans and finally set them into motion."

"Good job, Jongho. How about that private investigator of yours?" The general inquired, his mind already buzzing with excitement as he plotted your family's demise.

The assistant bowed in gratitude, "He's still maintaining his cover in the Jang estate. He expressed his desire to assist us with the plan. Apparently, he's a huge admirer of yours, sir. That seemed to be his primary motivation for readily accepting my offer."

Seonghwa narrowed his eyes, his mistrust evident, "Is he now? Have you done a background check on him?"

"I have, sir. He's in the clear; I can vouch for him. I'm confident he harbours no ulterior motives other than a genuine admiration for you; he wants nothing more than to be recognised by you."

The general nodded, picking up the newly retrieved documents, "If you say so, I guess it won't hurt to have an extra helping hand. Make sure to pay him handsomely. Now, go get some rest; we'll be getting busy soon." His heart was immediately eased by his aide's assurance. If Jongho trusted this person, there must be a good reason.

"Yes, sir."

In the days that followed, Seonghwa appeared awfully busy, often confined to his study with Jongho for endless meetings. The next morning, you found a collection of your lady etiquette books delivered to your doorstep, with a servant mentioning that the study was required for important discussions between your husband and his assistant.

Assuming he was loaded with work after taking several days off, you didn't dwell on it much. While the general focused on perfecting his plans, you spent your days refining your etiquette with the head maid's help, working on correcting your posture, walking, table manners, and way of speaking.

The two of you only had brief encounters twice a day, during breakfast and dinner. Seonghwa apologised repeatedly, promising to spend more time with you once he completed his current project, and you reassured him that you were fine.

Time passed quickly, and before you knew it, a new week had begun, marking your husband's return to work. After your customary breakfast together, you walked him to the entrance of the estate, where his carriage awaited to transport him to the palace for the morning assembly with His Majesty, the King.

"This is as far as you'll see me off. It's cold out here, so don't spend too much time outdoors, okay? Head back to my study if you want, and take your medicine on time." He reminded sweetly, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

You smiled appreciatively, assuring him, "I will, Seonghwa. Don't worry about me. Have a good day at work." His heart melted at your words, and the sense of being husband and wife settled in. Having someone waiting for him at home felt unexpectedly warm, and he realised he could get used to it.

That's right, just keep smiling like that.

Rubbing his thumbs over your hands, he pressed a kiss onto your knuckles, saying, "I'll see you later, my dear."

Eunsook and Jongho exchanged knowing grins as they guided their master and mistress in opposite directions—Seonghwa into his carriage and you back to your quarters.

Carrying you in his thoughts, the general commenced his journey to the royal palace. He had always harboured disdain for the Minister of Military Affairs, but it had never been potent enough to instigate his downfall. However, circumstances had taken a drastic turn with your arrival. Your father had gravely miscalculated if he believed this union between you was a wise decision; in reality, it paved the way for his own undoing.

Unfazed by the attention, he arrived at the assembly, becoming the centre of attention for all the ministers and officials. Their curiosity was stirred by the general who had adamantly refused marriage, yet now found himself wedded against his will. Speculation abounded about whether he would cause a scene, as all members had been notified of his special agenda.

Your husband, however, remained unaffected by the scrutiny. He anticipated the spotlight, fully aware that these old fools relished nothing more than witnessing his misery. Despite his recognised achievements, it didn't automatically translate into wholehearted acceptance from these higher-ups. Their displeasure was palpable, harbouring reservations about his young age and the potential threat he posed to their established ranks.

The revelation of his marriage to you only fueled their satisfaction, as they believed that being tied to the Minister of Military Affairs would ensure Seonghwa's perpetual subordination, always a step below his father-in-law in rank.

"Good morning, General Park. You seem to be in quite a good mood." Your husband felt his eye twitch, hearing the voice he wasn't looking forward to.

Speak of the devil.

Facing your father, he smirked, "Good morning, Minister Jang. I can't deny that I am feeling quite good." It satisfied him to see your father's grin falter slightly, knowing the old man probably didn't know what to expect, but it surely wasn't this. The last thing they all expected was for him to appear... pleased.

Before the minister could voice any questions, the King entered the hall. Along with everyone else, the general knelt and bowed deeply, performing the formal greeting. In unison, they chanted, "Your Majesty, may you live a long and prosperous life. We wish for you ten thousand years of life and reign."

"You may all rise," declared His Majesty before expressing joy at the presence of his favourite subject, "Seonghwa, my boy! You're finally back! Oh, I cannot wait to hear all about your week off."

The minister raised a smug brow, eyeing your husband and presuming that his week could not have been too pleasant with you around. While he was almost certain of that, it seemed the general was adept at keeping up the act. Your father eagerly anticipated hearing about this important agenda without delay.

"Tell me, my boy. Is your wife as beautiful as we all speculated? There must have been a good reason for the minister to keep her so well hidden all these years." The King inquired, his excitement evident as he leaned forward in his seat.

Seonghwa chuckled, "Your Majesty, perhaps it wouldn't be too appropriate for us to engage in idle chatter in this meeting. After all, I'm sure all the ministers and officials here have more pressing matters to discuss and probably care little for the details of my marriage." He was merely teasing at this point, knowing full well that everyone was eager to hear about his past week.

"Nonsense! What could possibly be more important than your recent wedding? If anyone here has no interest in what General Park has to share, you are welcome to leave the assembly."

While leaving the assembly might seem like a simple option, it practically equated to a death sentence. Without the King's explicit permission, no one would be allowed to exit on their own. This implied that whoever refused to listen to what your husband had to say might as well be choosing a path leading to their demise.

All the higher-ups immediately bowed their heads low with clenched fists as they voiced in unison, "Of course not! We wouldn't dare, Your Majesty!" They were well aware of Seonghwa's subtle assertion of power over the King. Regardless of their high positions or ranks, he would always be the favourite. While it might go unnoticed by the less perceptive, it was a clear demonstration of authority, a warning not to cross him.

"Very well, I suppose I'll divulge a bit about my wife since you're all so eager to hear about her," The general couldn't conceal his shit-eating grin, pleased to have put these elderly men in their rightful places. The King applauded enthusiastically, "Please do!"

Minister Jang's earlier arrogance evaporated with your husband's unmistakable show of power, and he could only suppress his irritation as he waited to hear what Seonghwa would say about you.

"To answer your question, Your Majesty, she is even more stunning than you all might imagine, perhaps the most beautiful woman in all of Joseon, both inside and out, at least in my eyes. And you were right, my King, she truly is perfect for me. For that, I'd like to express my gratitude for sending her to me."

The entire room stood at a standstill as everyone tried to process his words. It was almost surreal that the formidable General Park, who had always been so adamant about never marrying and was coerced into this union without a choice, openly expressed his admiration for his new wife. Apart from the King, who genuinely relished hearing it, the rest of the assembly remained sceptical, wondering what game Seonghwa was playing.

"And because of that, I regret my earlier decision of not having a proper wedding ceremony. I now know my wife deserves only the best, which brings me to the important matter I'd like to address today, Your Majesty. I was hoping you would grant me permission to fix that. I'd like to plan a grand wedding to make up to her."

Your father narrowed his eyes dangerously; this was the furthest thing from what he had expected. He would rather die than give you a grand wedding. He thought he was finally done with you, believing you could have perished for all he cared. Yet, here your husband was, requesting to host a grand wedding? And for you?

Over my dead body.

His Majesty couldn't contain his joy, letting out a surprised laugh, "Oh my, Seonghwa! I'm so proud of you; I was beginning to grow worried you'd never allow yourself to love again. And of course, you can have a grand wedding! We shall host one as grand as a royal wedding if need be! Heavens, I cannot wait to meet this new Lady Park of yours; she must be something for you to have changed this much!"

Minister Jang cleared his throat, "Your Majesty, if I may cut in."

The King nodded, "Why, of course. It's your daughter we're discussing; do you have any ideas for the ceremony?"

Your father shook his head, "N-no, my King. I was hoping to remind the general that my daughter prefers simplicity and that this would not be necessary—"

With a smirk, Seonghwa cut him off, "Well then, minister, it would seem you do not know your daughter well enough, or at all."

The Minister of Military Affairs stilled at that; obviously, the general knew more than he let on, "Wha— that's not true! My eldest has always been one for frugality and would never ask for much, let alone a grand wedding; she might find that burdensome."

"Has she really not asked for much, or has she not been permitted to have a voice at all?" Your husband pressed, watching expectantly as the minister sputtered lame excuses, caught off guard.

Not oblivious to the fact that Seonghwa was attempting to convey something, the King raised a brow at Minister Jang's defensive demeanour, "What is it that you wish to say, my boy?"

Panicked, your father gulped, afraid of what the general might reveal. Not once did he think the heartless General Park would ever care about what happened to you. He assumed that, just like all the members of his family and estate, your new husband would also cast you aside and not bat an eyelash if you died, as had happened with all his previous marriage candidates.

"Your Majesty, even though Minister Jang is now my father-in-law, I feel compelled to speak out against the injustice I perceive for my wife," The minister did not dare to look up as he felt cold sweat dripping down his back, listening anxiously to what Seonghwa was going to disclose, "No matter how much he thinks she prefers simplicity, it just wasn't right for him to have sent her to me all alone on our wedding day."

With a frown, His Majesty eyed your father judgementally, "All alone? Please elaborate, Seonghwa."

Suppressing his sly grin, your husband continued, "My assistant found her wandering all by herself by the entrance of my estate, without a chaperone, any servants or palanquin bearers. And what's worse, she barely had anything on her, only carrying an empty duffel bag. Tell me, Your Majesty, who would believe her to be a noblewoman from a powerful house? I simply cannot understand why the minister could do this to his precious daughter."

"Is that true, Minister Jang?" The King's emotionless voice rang across the hall, and the minister shivered from the chill running down his spine, "W-well, yes, but—"

Everyone jumped when His Majesty slammed his fist against the handle of his throne, "That is simply unacceptable! It doesn't matter how much you insist your daughter favours simplicity; what you've done is completely ridiculous. Can you even call yourself her father? Oh, the poor girl."

Your father bowed all the way down immediately, pressing his forehead against the floor as he begged for forgiveness, embarrassed to have his wrongdoings exposed at assembly for everyone to listen like this, "Please, Your Majesty! Forgive this old fool for taking my kind daughter for granted! I will do anything to make up to her as you wish, a grand wedding if you will."

As if seeking Seonghwa's approval, the King looked at the general, "Would that suffice?"

Shrugging, your husband pressed his lips into a line, "I suppose I do have one condition, though," His Majesty nodded, "Name it."

The general smiled, "I've troubled you enough with concerns regarding my marital matters, Your Majesty. For this wedding of mine, I'd like to personally make the arrangements with the minister and his family, preferably at his estate."

"At his estate and not here? Why is that, Seonghwa?" The King asked, unable to contain his curiosity.

"I just want to see where my beloved wife spent all her childhood; I'm curious about the environment that made her so precious."

As the King showered praise on your husband for his apparent sweetness and saw it merely as Seonghwa being hopelessly in love with you, Minister Jang knew better than that he had an ulterior motive, and it couldn't bode well. The general clearly has something up his sleeves, but in the presence of His Majesty, your father found himself with little choice but to comply.

What do you want from me, Park Seonghwa?

« Preview of Part 8 »

"What?! A grand wedding for that useless thing? Oh, you've got to be kidding me!" Jinah screeched, her frustration evident as she pulled at her hair.

Jinhee, in disbelief, glared at your old prison cell of a room from a distance. Servants had been ordered to fill it up with things to make it seem like a storeroom in preparation for Seonghwa's visit, "Maybe we've underestimated her. It seems she actually got the general wrapped around her finger."

Minister Jang had nothing to say except to hold his head in his hands. He couldn't forget the King's disapproving looks directed at him all throughout the assembly after what your husband had revealed. Not just His Majesty; but even the other ministers and officials had been staring at him weirdly, not understanding him for what he did to his own daughter.

Jinjoo stomped around like a brat, "Father, you promised us that marrying her to him would bring us satisfaction! What the hell is this?! I refuse to accept this!"

Having had enough of their whining, the minister threw the wine glass beside him onto the floor, "Be quiet, all of you! Do you honestly think the wedding is what matters now? My position could very well be in danger, and you care about that? Fools! Get out of my sight!"

The three were taken aback by the minister's unexpected fit of anger, and their mother quickly gestured for them to leave the living hall at once. Once they were gone, Lady Jang sat down beside her husband, "What is it, dear? What's wrong?"

"Park Seonghwa knows something, I'm sure of it. He said some things today that could make me look suspicious, and if anyone starts digging around, I fear they might find out what we've been trying to hide..."

Woohoo, shit's about to go down! Are y'all excited? HAHAHA🤭

I'm also shook that I'm like 20 followers away from reaching 1k! Thank you all so much; I just want you to know that it's your encouraging messages and replies that have been motivating me to update as quick as I can, really appreciate it!

As always, hope you enjoyed and let me know all your thoughts! <3

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[milqueandsugar]

🌼☕` Wearing His Clothes`☕🌼

Gen / Fluff

Includes / Alastor , Lucifer

| ALASTOR |

If Alastor could spend every evening like this, he would. A warm hellish day, a pleasant breeze that made the usual sulphuric smell that lingered in the air tolerable, and most of all, you by his side. The scarlet parasol you carried over your shoulder sifted the dying rays of the sun into a glorious red. If Alastor could devour an image he'd have this walk on a plate.

"Have I ever mentioned how marvelous you are in red?" The static of his voice crackled to life, so did the blood in your cheeks. "Very, very often." You tease, his grin widens. "Oh so not nearly enough."

You were working up a come back when something heavy dropped onto your shoulders. It smelled of chicory and black coffee, it smelled of Alastor. You poked your head up out of a collar, his collar. You stared up at your lover who twirled the parasol you must have dropped in hid hand. Spinning the red refracted light around the both if you like a kelidoscope.

"You are darling in red, I'll have to ring up Rosie to get you one of your own."

"Matching outfits Alastor? Tattoos next?"

"I was thinking rings, but by the by."

Alastor is definitely a possessive character but I don't think that translates at all to you wearing his clothes

He's actually quite protective of them, he's as particular as he is possessive and it has to be some sort of gesture for him to lend it to you

He especially holds off on lending clothes to you if you make it know you like it, just for teasing purposes of course!

He only truly lends you his bow tie or jacket and only, of course, on his terms

He finds it endearing, how flattered or excited you are at something as simple as a coat, though he holds this little secret close to his chest

It's not as fun if you can tease him back!

Due to his more animalistic tendencies/physicality he is particularly sensitive to smell

If you REALLY want to rile him up use his cologne or soap, it might take a day or two but it's impossible not to notice his increase in physical affection

Once he registers that wearing his clothes is another, far more subtle way of having you smell like him he'll be far more generous with lending you garments.

| LUCIFER |

Every few months you cleaned out the closet, Lucifer liked to buy things, you liked to wear things, both of you were terrible for over filling your closet. He was out for a day out with Charlie, which made things easier. You loved him truly but he made tossing things out difficult, it was too pretty or to cute, to sexy for him to part with. He wasn't wrong, he had an excellent eye for picking clothes you liked, but at this rate you'd need to buy a new home to accommodate for the mass amounts of clothes!

It was when putting the keeps back when you noticed it, his hat. A hat you both loved and hated, the golden snake around its brim gleaned in the light. You snatched it from the shelf at the top of the closet. Your surprised he didn't bring it today, he wore it always, especially when with Charlie. You wondered if she liked it, or if she liked it when she was a kid and bright colours were like moths to light.

You step over to stand in front of the floor length mirror. It felt like a normal hat, of beautiful craftsmanship of course, but just a normal hat. You couldn't see why he was obsessed with the thing. You felt a little silly wearing it, you felt even sillier when a snort sounded from behind you.

"Oh so that's where my hat went"

He thinks it's cute!!

He's confident so he doesn't see any real need to mark or claim you, he knows he loved you, and he knows you love him just as much!

Absolutely pleased to lend you clothes!

If it becomes a habit of yours he even goes out of his way to pick up clothes he thinks both of you will like

Turns into a fun shopping activity!

Be fully prepared for him to start stealing your clothes too though this is a two way street

Maybe it's for the best too he's got no style let's be honest

Absolutely tortures you if he discovers you think it's hot, wears your clothes out, wears your clothes in private, when your on a date

Good luck, they're pretty much his now

No hiding if you dress more feminely either he's not afraid of rocking a mini skirt

The act itself doesn't do anything but seeing you so excited about it?? That does it for him

[thirstywoso]

LESSONS IN PHOTOGRAPHY (PART 3)

Jessie Fleming x Reader 18+

A/N: part 3 is here and part 4 will probably be out in the next week and then that's this fic done as I have quite a few other drafts/requests to get through

Warnings: Smut MDNI 18+, again I'll probably forget something but here are your warnings, degrading, spitting, praise, spanking, overstimulation mention, edging mention, oral both receiving, strap reader receiving, hair pulling, marking, name calling (slut), sex tape, think that's it 🙃

W/C: 2.6k

Part one part two

"Think it's time you take my cock" Jessie says

Your soft eyes widen as you look up at her nodding profusely at her words.

"Please" you mutter blinking at her.

She gives you a smile, as if to say she's content with your response.

Jumping up off the bed she makes her way over to your dresser, from where you are laid you can't see what she's looking at but you watch her as her eyes scan the contents of said draw. Her hand lazily dragging across the toys inside trying to find something that caught her eye, her finger stopping on the biggest strap attachment you owned.

A smile pulled at her cheeks as she felt her stomach flip "ah hah!" She exclaimed picking it up. "This one will be perfect" she says turning back towards you so you could see they toy.

Gulping before your mouth hung agape as you watched the way Jessie fit it to hips, grabbing a bottle of lube squeezing some generously into her hand before working it up and down her shaft until it was covered in a thin sheen of lubricant.

Wiping her hands off on the back of her thighs she walks back over to the bed grabbing the camera and perching it on the chest of draws situated across the room from you.

Making her way to the foot of your shared bed she grabbed your ankles pulling you down the mattress with force so that your legs were in the air, feet hooked over her shoulders and your ass close to hanging over the edge.

Her eyes glazing over with lust as she takes in your naked form so needy and open for her.

It wasn't a new experience for either of you, that being said there was rarely a time where she wasn't taken aback by your striking beauty. This was something she would never take for granted and had to take you all in every time she had you like this.

"You ready?" She asks stroking your cheek "remember say the word and we will stop anytime" she states seriously.

"Ready" you respond knowing Jessie wouldn't start until you verbally gave your consent. After one last sweep of her eyes across your curves she looked between your legs where her strap was sat.

Slowly rubbing along your folds as her hips swayed, the image intoxicating. Holding on to your muscular calves spreading your legs slightly just enough so that she could spit on your visibly dripping pussy.

An act that you'd never really thought you'd enjoy and in some cases repulsed you but somehow the way she did it turned you on all the more.

Letting go of one of your calves freeing up her hand she grabs hold of the base of her cock, pulling back slightly massaging the head of her cock through your slick folds earning her a gasp.

A smile made its way on to her face, she loved pulling noises like that from you and without a doubt it always inflated her ego.

Her eyes trained on you once again, herself getting incredibly turned on by any slight reaction that you had. The way your lip twitches or eyes squeeze shut trying to hold back your eagerness. The way your breath hitches in your throat as she teases your entrance or the way your fingers dance across the soft Egyptian cotton sheets.

Your girlfriend so desperately wanting to fuck you within an inch of your life, being torn between slamming into you or enjoying the way she was teasing you with the small noises that she was getting as feedback.

Ultimately she decided to carry on teasing you a little while longer, impressed with her own self restraint as her other hand let go of your calve leaning forward cupping your breast, sighing as your nipples hardened under her cool touch.

Her fingers trailed across from one of your peaks to the other. Lighting a fire trail across your skin with each swipe, her finger tips slowly inching towards your stiff bundles of nerves. Tweaking them gently before adding a little more force, a high pitched squeak making its way from somewhere deep inside of you.

After what felt like a life time of her teasing you, you could no longer hold back from the need you felt in the pit of your stomach.

"Please just fuck me Jessie" you let out perhaps a little too eagerly

A simple woman such as herself could not hold back from a request of that nature from a woman like yourself.

Letting go of your nipples and lining herself up with your soaked cunt, pushing herself forward as she grabbed onto the back of your thighs effectively bending you in half.

Slowly opening you up and working herself into you, making sure to give you exactly what you had wanted.

It wasn't long before she bottomed out in you, her on her tippy toes grinding herself down into you. Leaning down trapping your lips in a heated kiss.

Holding your legs over her shoulders as she pulled out and slammed back in a shuddering breath shared between the both of you.

It was then Jessie's lips attached to your neck, nipping and biting at the warm flesh and soothing over it with her hot wet tongue. A trail of fresh hickies making their way from behind your ear and across your neck towards your collar bone, a way of letting every one know who's girl you were.

Of course Jessie felt bad knowing you wouldn't be able to leave the house for days unless you wanted people to know how much of an absolute slut you had been for her but it also spurred her on to fuck you and own you harder.

As her ferocious pace picked up you began clawing at her back, digging in your nails as she hissed into your neck your heels digging into her shoulders stabilising yourself.

She bites down hard as you pant and whine into her ear, turning ever so slightly so your mouth was as close to her ear as possible in this position. Small whines of her name and pleads to be fucked harder only for her to hear.

"Fuck me Jessie"

"Put a baby in me"

"Make me forget what day of the week it is"

"Hmph... eugghhh"

"That's it"

Her hips almost stuttered listening to you becoming so vocal but she regained her composure, goosebumps littering her skin as the hair on the back of her neck raises as she intently listens to you.

Your hands found Jessie's curls scratching along her scalp as she worked her way into you, each thrust ending with her bottoming out and grinding into you, her cock hitting just the right spot as your clit bumped along her toned abdomen.

Just the thought of her abs tensing against your sensitive little bud drove you wild, you had always loved her physique but even more so when you could feel it as she took over your body.

Turning her head she kissed you, allowing it to deepen immediately, your tongues snaking over each others fighting for dominance before you sucked down gently on hers. Swallowing your moans only fuelled the fire in her belly more.

Her tongue licked into your waiting mouth for a little longer until you felt your head wanting to explode from all the different sensations you were feeling.

Pulling back slightly so she was propped up on to her bulging biceps, veins popping from her forearms, causing another gush of arousal to coat her thickness.

Looking down at you in awe as she fucked you harder, no more grinding into you as your hips met instead relentlessly pounding into you, shouts and yelps falling helplessly from your mouth as you took everything she gave.

The sound of you swallowing her into your needy pussy filling the room, along with both her whimpers and yours. The slap of her thighs against the back of yours being the most prominent sound in the room.

Within a heartbeat Jessie was grabbing your cheeks between her forefinger and thumb squeezing hard so your mouth fell open, looking longing into your eyes.

"Tongue out"

You comply with Jessie's request demand.

"Such a pretty fucking slut" she says lost in thought

"Only for you Jessie" you say before you stick your tongue back out.

Jessie spitting into your mouth, her fingers quickly following pushing into your mouth making sure you swallow.

Watching in awe as you suck and lick at her digits which still faintly taste of you. Groaning at the way your tongue swirled around her middle finger before changing across to your ring finger and back as they curled and fucked into your throat opening it up.

"Fuck, I wish I could cum in that pretty little throat of yours and watch you swallow me"

You grunt in response mouth to full of Jessie's fingers to make any verbal recognition to her statement.

Taking her fingers from your mouth trailing them between you to where she reaches your throbbing clit, deciding against being gentle and instead rapidly flicking it between her fingers, rubbing down on it and gently pinching at the bundle of nerves.

Grinding her fingers down harshly, speeding up every time she hears a sigh fall from your mouth. Content with her actions and your reactions she carried on watching you like this for a little while longer.

Before long she's having you writhe beneath her as she pushes your legs even further back hitting deeper inside than she has before. A piercing screaming ripping from your core right out your throat as she slammed into you repeatedly hitting these new depths. Your clit being thrummed into as you take her the best you can.

Planting her feet back firmly on the ground, Jessie pushed into you deeper and harder than before finding more leverage from her new footing. The speed and pressure only building something with in you.

Holding back tears only turns her on more as she squeezes your cheeks once again your tongue poking out knowing exactly what she wanted as she spat in your mouth one last time.

Swallowing as you felt yourself reach the edge, your sweet spot being hit repeatedly eyes squeezing shut seeing stars. Only to have the sensation ripped from you as she pulled out.

Before you could even protest she was knelt on the floor at the foot of the bed with your legs hooked over her shoulders pulling you closer to the edge. Without a second to spare Jessie's tongue was deep inside your clenching hole.

Squeezing down on her tongue as it disappeared inside of you lapping up your excitement, before taking your clit between her teeth flicking it with her tongue and grazing at it with her teeth, she alternated between this and messily eating your core.

This was by far your girlfriends favourite activity, it took everything in her not to absolutely ruin you like this. In her opinion there was not a prettier noise in the world than they way you cried out as she ate you.

What felt like hours of her doing this was in reality only seconds, before you knew it your hands shot into her hair as you came all down her chin. Shaking in her arms as she cleaned you up, licking and sucking along your thighs and folds until you were completely void of any arousal.

Bending down and kissing you so you could taste yourself was not only extremely attractive for her but you loved making a show of hungrily kissing her face and tasting yourself. Closing your eyes and moaning only working Jessie up even more.

Adequately cleaning the arousal from Jessie's face she began standing up she pulled you once again so you fell to the floor on your knees.

"Clean me up" she said rather coldly, you'd probably take this as offence if you didn't know how Jessie liked to be in the bedroom and in all honesty you found this dominant stone cold Jessie so hot that it made your ovaries burst for her.

Contemplating disobeying her and receiving some kind of punishment wether it being orgasm denial, overstimulation or a spanking remembering back to the time that you had not done as requested and had teased Jessie at a team event.

She had bent you over her knee and spanked you until your ass was covered in her handprints and was warm to the touch, she had then edged you for hours and hours until she began feeling guilty and accidentally overstimulated you when she finally let you cum.

Ultimately deciding to obey her and have her praise you instead you take Jessie's cock in your mouth cheeks hollowing as you bob up and down on her cock, speeding up as her grip on your hair tightens.

Tasting yourself you begin to groan at how delicious you really taste

"You're such a good girl swallowing my cock like that" she chokes out in disbelief as she disappears all the way down your throat before appearing again.

You blink up at her with a sultry smirk as you continue to work along her shaft, earning some moans from Jessie as your nails rake along her thighs.

Grabbing your hair harder she fucks into your throat gagging you repeatedly until salvia was dripping from your mouth down onto the carpet.

Pulling your hair as her head falls back, ungodly noises and phrases coming from the back of her throat as she pounds yours harder.

"Fuck.. let me cum.. in your mouth" she stutters out as her legs give way, awkwardly you catch her in your arms as her cock hits the back of your throat making you gag harder than before. The sensation vibrating into Jessie's core.

A loud moan ripping from her as she also reaches her peak. Falling into your arms curling into you as you lazily dip your fingers in her cum soaked pussy and bringing them back to your mouth.

Sucking them clean your eyes roll back at the taste of her, removing her strap you couldn't help yourself but push Jessie's legs back. Diving into her sweet wet heat, lapping at her folds.

Your tongue curling deep inside her, stroking along her walls before sucking on her clit. Grabbing onto her breasts to steady yourself as you fuck her into the floor with your mouth.

Alternating between gentle kisses across her opening to harsh flicks of your tongue across her bud, before teasing her slit with your tongue. Dipping in occasionally and groaning and the intoxicating taste.

Gently stroking her thighs as you mouths vice like grip on her centre relented trying to ground her but not working being overstimulated from moments ago it's not long before Jessie is cumming for a second time.

"That's it baby swallow my cum" she groans as you swallow down every drop from her soaked pussy.

Kissing your way back up her body you both cuddle into each other on the carpet. The camera forgotten about on the side.

After awhile of lying in a heap on the floor with Jessie too spent for either of you to move, you both drift off.

The next thing you remember is waking up the next morning in your empty bed.

Reading the clock you realise Jessie must be at training now, as you sit up and take in your reflection in the mirror you see the marks Jessie left the night before littering your skin.

Your finger tips trace over the purpling bruises, feeling the heat rise in your core again as your eyes flicker over to where the camera sits on the side.

That's when a great idea comes to mind.

[satorusdiary]

"Now that's where you’re wrong, baby. Your mine. Anything you do is my buisness."

Toji Fushiguro x Reader

slight angst + fluff + smut + happy ending + Toji and Reader being down bad for each other :)

Summary: Toji and Reader have been on and off. Yet they have never made it official on what their “relationship” actually was. After an argument, the pair finds themselves being distanced away from each other for a whole 2 months. For the whole 2 months, Reader has been avoiding Toji. When Gojo’s birthday party happens, Toji has had enough when he catches you locking lips with him on the dance floor.

Today marks the 67th day of you avoiding Toji. 67 days without being in bed with him, 67 days without his dick in you, and 67 days without him spoiling you with all the love and affection you desperately needed.

You missed him more than anything.

Apart of you was so close to text him, and to send that “i miss you, please come over.” message. But you had to put yourself first for once. You came to your senses that you wouldn’t waste another 6 months with a man, just for him to call your “relationship” friends with benefits.

Therefore, you blocked him.

You didn’t know what you were doing now. The party you were attending was one you didnt even want to be at, yet here you were. Dancing along side with your friends.

The whole room starting reeking of alcohol and weed, and other stuff that you couldn't put your mind into thinking of it. You were for sure catching a headache from all substances creating in one setting into your senses.

"Fuck i gotta pee." You held your stomach, the slight feeling of needing to throw up occurred to you. Yumi, who was your long term friend and roommate next you held your back and looked at you worried.

"You okay? I'll take you to the bathroom if you need." She offers.

You shake your head and sent a smile her way easing her feels of worrying. The beating in your head wouldn't stop, but you managed to still get by when you starting moving away from the group to find the restroom.

Pushing past others was also a hassle. You encountered others sexually dancing with others, and pushed past the larger groups that were blocking entry ways into spaces you needed to get by.

You walked into the main entrance where many other were crowding around, letting others into the house. You knew there was a bathroom near by there.

Something then caught your eye once you got a clear view of one of the couches, near the entry way. There was two girls, one boy on one couch. One girl was on top of his lap above his crotch, while the other girl was next to him kissing those lips that were once kissing you, and your body.

His raven hair, the baby hairs falling into place infront of his face dangling slightly hinting the other girl he was making out with.

One of his large hands traveled down onto the girl that was on him, slithering down her back and into her ass, giving it tight squeezes. The other hand was cupping the girl he was kissing face, holding it roughly. You shouldn't be watching this, but suddenly you felt a burning sensation build up in your body, most likely your chest.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” You cursed to yourself. The first time you’ve glanced at him, Toji. Was when you catch him having a three way with two random girls.

You didn’t even notice your eyes watering. He used to touch you like that.

He opened his eyes, glancing at you with a gentle smirk forming as he continued to kiss the girl beside him, observing your shift in movement at the intensity of his gaze. He watched as your jaws clenched with a hint of jealousy. He was enjoying this.

You sucked in a deep breathe before walking in a fast pace back into the crowd, looking for anyone in general that could keep you company and calm you down at once.

Him thinking this shit was funny was what pissed you off the most.

Satoru and Suguru, who happened to be by the drinks near the kitchen were around a big group of people. Some girls ogling over Satoru, Suguru beside him was selling. Their eyes were settled on you once they saw you enter their gaze, as you walked over to get a cup of alcohol drinking it straight away.

Satoru quickly walked over to you, ignoring the others who were protesting he come back to receive more gifts from others that came to celebrate his birthday. Before you can drink anymore, he snatched the drink from you and looked down at you with a confused tone.

"Easy—easy there love. You good?" He rubbed your shoulder making you look back up him. You ignored the pet name, even though you were slightly blushing and continued to have small talk.

"It's nothing, i was just thirsty." you replied.

He furrowed his eyebrows and looked at you uncertainly. The birthday crown that was over his head was slightly falling off the one side of his head. You scanned around the room and sucked in your teeth, trying to see if Yumi was around. No sign of her in your vision.

You ignored it and looked up at Satoru, plastering a somewhat forced smile on your face, sheltering the feeling of hurt you felt towards the scene you once saw before walking towards him.

You wanted Toji back. Desperately. But your pride for yourself, and self confidence was getting in the way. You needed to provide for yourself for once.

Satoru places one of his hands against your lower back, gently rubbing circles as he looked at you with a gentle expression. He knew you were upset about something, but he couldn't understand what you were upset about that would ruin your night so easily.

Your eyes lit up at an idea. You wrapped your arms around Satoru’s neck and pulled him down until your lips slightly made contact with his ears.

"Satoru.. would you like to dance with me?" You asked in a seducing tone. One that made his hold on you tighten bringing you closer to him. A smirk appears on his lips.

When you pulled away waiting for an answer, his low eyes looked at you with a hint of lust. He smiled and gave you a small nod before holding an arm around your waist, leading you towards the dance floor.

Once you were in the center, a place where you knew Toji would see you, you placed your arms around Satoru and started to move along with him. His large hands slithering down your frame and running against your ass, giving them slight squeezes.

When you looked over his shoulder, you noticed a few girls looking at you with a hint of jealousy running through their expressions. No sign of Toji yet.

You sent delicate kisses over Satoru’s neck. One hand left his waist as he cupped your jaw just so he could whisper in your ear.

"Y'Know, this is dangerous. Your lil boyfriend can pop out of no where and beat the shit out of me for dancing with you." He smirked.

You shook your head, talking into his ear once more.

“Boyfriend? no, no no. It wasn’t like that the second he fucked up.” You murmured.

He pulled away to meet your eyes. Leaning his face closer into your face, before asking you one question that made you know what you wanted at the moment on the dance floor.

"Oh, so he won't mind me kissing you?"

You shook your head and placed your lips on his. His other hand grabbed the back of your head to pull you closer into the kiss than you already are; deepening the kiss. He bit your lower lip and continued to suck on it, making you moan into his mouth.

He slithered his tongue into your mouth as the make-out session continued. Satoru’s big hands running down the sides of your dress, letting his hands touch, studying every curve they came across giving them small squeezes.

You opened your eyes to get a glimpse around you. Toji came to your vision as he watched you and his friend make out willingly in-front of him. You did as he did, smirked in-front of his face and continued to bring Satoru closer than he already was.

Toji was willingly wanting to go over to you both and push him off of you. But he couldn't, he was frozen on the spot and upset, obviously glaring at you both with a beam of hatred.

He didn’t know why he continued to watch. Maybe it’s his sick mind imagining that it was him making out with you instead of that Jack-Frost wannabe.

He distanced himself from you both, going his own way to deny his own feelings of jealousy that he definitely has because of Satoru. You chucked to yourself and gave your attention back to Satoru, happily kissing him which he obligated back.

"Is this my birthday present from you, baby?" Satoru questioned against your lips.

You giggled and nodded your head. "Yeah if you want it to be."

The two of you continued to have small talk for the next hour, having fun and keeping each other company. Happily.

"We should probably stop before things get hectic, Toji over there looks pissed." Satoru laughed out nervously as he looked over your shoulder to look back at Toji, who was giving him an intimidating hateful glare.

You frowned but nodded in agreement. "Alright, give me one more kiss though."

He agreed and pulled you down into one more kiss, roaming his hands down onto your body once more to remember the feeling of being able to do something like those with you.

After a few minutes, you pulled away from him and followed him as you made your way back over to your friends group.

"Hold up, i'm gonna freshen up real quick. I'll meet your with the others soon." You told Satoru, who nodded his head and pushed past the crowd to get back with his friends.

The music changed and started playing "Persian Rugs by PartyNextDoor." You loved this song with a passion. Everyone in the room began to get hyped and continued to dance with others, the lights changing color as smoke consumed most of the area.

You quickly made your way into the bathroom and shut the door, lucky you pushed past the big line of people that needed to use the bathroom. You walked up to the mirror and placed both hands on the counter looking back at your reflection, letting out a big sigh. Your lipstick was slightly smudged, which made you put your thumb at the smudged part to wipe of the left over lipstick. You eyed your figure, and your dress. Your lucky you've gotten this dress, even if it was a bit tight you loved it. It was one of your favorites to wear at a party.

A few bangs hit the bathroom door, signaling you to hurry up. You rolled your eyes and took your handbag and placed it over your shoulder before placing your hand on the doorknob to twist it open. Kento , who was outside the door looked down at you with a surprised look, which turned into a apologetic look after.

"Whoops, sorry y/n. Didn't know you were in here." He apologized before pushing through to get in the bathroom.

"It's fine, Kento." You began to walk away. This time in a different direction than where you were supposed to go. Instead of going back to the dance floor you decided to walk further into the house. You've never been in Satoru’s family home before, why not take advantage and give yourself a house tour for yourself?

You walked down the hallway and walked into a led light room, filled with many different colors that were covering the room with its light. There was not many people inside, besides a few people you recognized that went to the same college as you.

As you walked further, you noticed how beautiful Satoru’s family home actually is. It's well decorative, insanely expensive, and it has beautiful lighting all around the rooms.

You felt someone tug at your wrist which startled you. Before you can get a look at the person you were lifted up by the waist and thrown over someone's shoulder, as if you were a sack of nothing. The man's muscular arms were around your legs while you turned to look at the person who began walking away with you over his shoulder.

"What the fuck— hey let me go!" You punched at the persons back. It was hard to see who the person was, he kept taking you both through dark rooms making it hard to make out the person features. That was until he brought you both into a bedroom and closed the door behind him, locking it. Now you were afraid, you were growing a anxious feeling in your stomach that made you want to scream.

That was until you looked up at the person who brought you into the room. The larger man’s large hands pushed down on your waist as you were pinned against one of the walls in the bedroom. He looked upset, his glare looking down at you sent shivers down your spine as you kept avoiding his gaze.

It was Toji fucking Fushiguro.

He placed his hand under your chin and shifted your head to meet his eyes, placing his forehead against yours.

"So, you getting at my friend now?" His low voice murmured against your head. His hot breathe hitting your face in doing so. You looked up at him with an upset gaze.

"Don't act stupid. Actin like you weren't having a three way with two girls you probably don't know. And anyways, anything i do with Satoru is none of your business." You explained and tried getting out of him grasp. You wanted to walk out the door, and have your own fun. Without him ruining it.

"Now that's where your wrong, baby. Your mine. Anything you do is my buisness." He told you, bringing down his head to place small, delicate kisses onto your neck.

Your legs were gonna give out, there was a heat building up in between your thighs which made you slightly rub them together.

"I'm not yours, now leave me alone. Don't ruin my night please." You pleaded.

He ignored your statement and continued kissing your neck. He noticed how you rubbed your thighs which made him smirk. The next move he did was placing his knee in between your legs, making connections with your crotch.

“Y-You broke my heart Toji. I fucking hate you for that.” Your throat began clogging up as your hands clenched into a fist.

Toji moved his kisses up from your neck, and kissed the shell of your ear. Before muttering soft words you’d never though you would ever hear again.

“‘m so sorry, my baby. ‘m a fuckin idiot for letting you go. You’re my only girl.” He apologized, thinking it would atleast make you feel better.

That was until he felt a few sniffles against his shoulder. His world stopping as he now feels tears seeping through his jacket. Then he remembers when he saw you watch him make out with a few randoms. His poor girl, probably couldn’t handle the scene she saw.

"Those girls meant nothing to me, all i want is you. But you made it more difficult when you blocked me." He stated into your ear. The smell of his cologne was all you can smell.

He picked you up by the waist and made his way onto the bed. Unknowingly to you, the bedroom was Satoru’s. Toji knew what he was doing when he dragged you into this room.

As he sat down, he placed you on his lap making you wrap your arms around his neck so you didn't fall down.

"Don't lie, w-what d’ya even want from me?" You stuttered, a heat of embarrassment rose inside your chest.

He rubbed his hands up and down your body, eyeing at how much skin you were showing from your dress. Then, his hands slithered down to your bare legs and  rubbed them aswell.

You looked so beautiful. As if an angel just appeared into his eyes.

He kissed your forehead and place his head against yours before looking down at your lips.

"I want you, sweetheart." He admitted. You wanted to pull away and deny everything. But honestly, you missed his touch. And you missed fucking him.

You placed your hands under his jaw and pulled him into a kiss. Your lips sucking at his bottom lip making him softly grin at your actions. His hands were on your waist, moving and guiding your hips above his crotch. You felt his clothes budge under your crotch as well.

His hands that were roaming your bare legs lifted up the dress you wear wearing, taking it off your frame making you pull away from him. He looked into your lustful eyes as he unclothed you.

His cheeks were slightly red, from the slight movement you've been making that's gotten him hard under your touch. Delicately, he held onto the hook of your laced bra and unhooked it. Your bra fell off your body, your breast being free from it.

You felt heat build up into your cheeks as you embarrassingly covered your chest. You haven't done this with him in awhile, it's like this is your first time with him again.

Toji held onto your arms and tried removing them from your chest. "Don't hide from me, Baby your beautiful"

He pulled away your arms and left kisses around your breasts. One hand was massaging one of your breasts, while the other was being cupped to help Toji kiss it better for you.

You moaned when he began sucking on your nipple, constantly licking and biting the more you grind your hips on top of him. Suddenly, he carried you and laid you down on the bed, letting go of your breast with a pop.

"Open up for me." He demanded.

"H-Huh??" You cried out, your legs were shut. You were too embarrassed to show yourself like that.

"Your legs." His voice was an octave lower. "Let me see that dripping cunt." You whimpered and swallowed your breath before slowly parting your legs giving a slight glimpse of your folds, that were soaked and glistening with your wetness. Toji thinks he's died and gone to heaven with this sight that was blessed for his eyes, and his eyes only.

"Look at you," Toji smirked, pressing your thigh to the bed with one hand while sliding up your leg and ghosting his fingertips over your pussy's lips with the other. "You're soaked, princess," He muttered.

Two fingers were inserted into Toji’s mouth, covering them in saliva, and then pulled back down to slide between your folds. He abruptly put two digits inside, crooked them up, and sent a shockwave through your entire body.

He tittered, pulling out his fingers only to re-insert them into his mouth while swirling his tongue to catch a whiff of your flavor. He continued to look at you while muttering softly between his fingers. His sneer was lewd as he slid them out.

"Toji—" You were cut off when Toji began swirling his tongue against your clit, holding your body firmly in place as you moved on the bed from the pleasure that has been given to you.

"I missed you." You admitted making him look up from between your legs, his eyes meeting yours as he spared a small grin. He pressed another kiss to your cunt before replying.

"I missed you more, baby."

He kissed up at your body, stopping at your lips as he swirled his tongue around yours in a lewd manner. Occasionally you would moan into his mouth, as you were lolling your tongue into his.

He pulls his pants down, along with his boxers. His cock springs out, obviously rock hard. To your surprise it was harder than usual. He strokes his cock into his hands, eyeing you the whole time as your cunt gets wetter and wetter just from looking at his cock.

He aligned himself towards your body, rubbing his tip against your sopping wet entrance. The lewd noises of your cunt squelching can be heard from all around the room. Carefully, he pushes himself inside you. His hands on both sides of your hips as he gets inside deeper.

Once he's fully inside he places his hand above your stomach to feel himself inside you. You were basically suffocating his cock inside of you from your squeezing, it made him close his eyes for a slight second to adjust to your feeling.

You placed your hand on his arm, rubbing it up and down and looked at him with doe eyes. "Tojii, move please." You beg. The feeling of him just cock warming you wasn't enough for your pleasure.

"Aight, you asked for this 'baby no going back now." He began thrusting into you in and out, in a harsh and fast manner. Your eyes began fluttering in arousal  as your clung to his arms.

As his thrusts grew louder, so did your moans. You gripped around his neck as he moved inside of you. The headboard banged violently against the wall making a harsh noise that you knew the people in the room next door wouldn't enjoy as Toji continued to push his big cock into you harshly. Toji began to rock faster inside of you, observing the ways your eyes fluttered and threatened to roll back as he thrusted into your g-spot which made you moan louder than ever. he pulled himself out of you, only to reinsert himself so you felt full once again as he made you adjust to his own size as you continued to cry out his name over and over.

Tears began escaping your e/c orbs. The wet substance began falling onto the bedsheets making Toji bend down to kiss your tears away. "Your pretty when you cry." He complimented, continuing on to kiss your face and your tears.

He continued to roll his hips into yours in a fast pace. He abused your used hole in ways he has never before making a new feeling appear in your stomach. The bubble that was forming was just begging to be released. When his cock twitched inside of you, it made it worse for you.

"Look how deep i am inside you, baby." He cooed making your hand press against your stomach. You looked at him surprised as you felt his cock move inside your stomach. The feeling was almost too much to bear for you body.

He felt pleased that he had caused you to see stars as he watched your breasts bounce with each violent thrust he made. Toji continued to pound into you; you could hear your flesh slapping and hearing a mild squelching. As he continued to pound into you, you moaned out his name while holding onto him. He groaned each time you clenched around him as he pulled away from you and then pushed himself back in. He halted the pulling and started to set a rough pace once more. Toji proceeded to exploit your sweet spots, and you felt ecstasy take over your body.

"—'m gonna cumm" you moaned outloud into Toji’s ear when you pulled him closer to you. Your bodies were hot, closed together as the intimate feeling continued on.

"Cum then, y/n." He pounded harder into as he buried his head into your neck. Kissing, sucking, and licking your soft skin as he claimed you as his once again for the first time in awhile.

You began releasing on him as kept trusting into you. After a few thrusts he came in you aswell. That was a trigger that made you cum for the second time around his cock. Cums mixing in together deep inside of you unknowingly creating the love you two sheared together.

Now, the both of you were panting. Toji places a kiss onto the crown of your head before hiding his head into your neck. Deep breaths being felt against you as you tried collecting your breath.

He was still buried deep inside of you. Thrusting in slightly as he calmed down from his high. You watched as he slowly pulled his cock out of your entrance, you hissed from the the overstimulation that over came inside your body.

"Shit, —sorry." He rubbed one side of your body calming you down.

"You okay?" He questions, looking at your fragile, bruised, marked body that he had done.

You hesitantly nodded your head before scanning your body. A pain flashed through you as you tried moving your legs, which Toji took a notice in.

"I can't move my legs." You nervously laughed out loud. Toji nodded his head and began messaging your legs and thighs.

"Sorry baby, i'll help you put your clothes on." He offered, carrying your frame to bring you over to the bathroom that was inside the bedroom.

After your cleaned up, Toji brings your dress and drags back up over your naked body. You looked at him in awe. Your legs were still sore, but you only had your heals with you.

"fuck, this is gonna be a pain." You whined, putting on your heels. Your arm was around Toji’s waist as he assured you some help when you would have difficulties.

He was already fully dressed, besides his jacket that was left on the counter of the bathroom. You patted down your dress as you examined yourself from the mirror. Toji behind you took his jacket, and hung it over your shoulders.

You smiled and put it on before turned around to pull him into a hug, which he happily returned giving you a small rare smile that he usually doesn't give to others around him. As you hug, his hands roam around your body, admiring your curves

“Let’s get out of here, hm baby? Let’s’ go back home and cuddle the night away?” Toji offered. The look he gave you was full of love, and adoration. Something you missed.

You hummed in response, though it wasn’t one he expected.

“That depends, am I still your friends with benefits?” You teasingly asked, the grin on his lips never leaving his features.

“Nah, you’re my girlfriend. Hell, baby. I’d buy you a fuckin ring if you’d want.” Toji exclaimed, kissing your forehead then your lips.

Your body filled with excitement, just a few days ago you continued crying over him. Now you were back with him, today really went according to plan.

“I love you.” Toji muttered, quietly. Yet you were able to hear it.

A big smile appears on your cute features, making Toji’s heart do spins. The feeling of your warm welcoming hands cup his cheeks.

“I love you s’much more. Take us home, please Toji.” You begged.

His arm wraps around your waist, and over his jacket that was around your body. His other hand clutching onto his car keys.

“Right ahead of you, sweetheart. ‘m gonna make up for lost time for you, as your boyfriend.” He kissed your cheek.

Finally, now that label was something you enjoyed.

Jujutsu Kaisen Masterlist

[mauesartetc]

Redesigning Helluva Beelzebub

Hoo boy, roll up the sleeves for this one.

The Original

In my review of Helluva Boss 108, I mentioned that Beelzebub's character design put me in mind of how some DeviantArt kid's fursona might look. And... Yeah I stand by that statement. The most likely reason I can figure Viv Medrano wanted her to be dog-like was to make a reference to her Die Young music video, which featured an anthro wolf singing a Kesha song (for context, Kesha herself voiced Beelzebub and co-wrote a song for this episode).

But for those who are unaware, Beelzebub's traditional depiction looks nothing like this.

Really the only visual similarities the Helluva version shares with the Infernal Dictionary version are the insect wings, six limbs, and the crown thingy over the head. (At least I think that's a crown-? Kinda hard to tell on both counts.)

Bee's eyes get somewhat more insectoid later in the episode, but that feels like a cop-out. Wow, her eyes and colors changed. Totally a bug demon, right?

They had the same problem in Hazbin Hotel with Katie Killjoy, who's allegedly supposed to be a praying mantis but barely resembles one, even after her transformation.

I understand the desire for fresh takes on old figures, and taking creative liberties so the new interpretation doesn't feel generic. But the changes should at least make sense. By now it's pretty clear Viv couldn't care less about representing Ars Goetia demons faithfully, as demonstrated with Paimon, Andrealphus, and now Beelzebub. You could slap completely different names on these characters and it wouldn't change a thing. I posted this meme a while back but it's never been more relevant:

On top of that, what reason could there possibly be for the design to be this damn complex? Why did she need so many markings on her face? Why did she need so many layers of hair? Why did she need flowing goo for her hair, tail, and body, each requiring dedicated effects animation?

When it comes to a hand-drawn production, less is more. Any superfluous details on a character just make unnecessary work for the animators.

Anyway, here's what Viv has to say about it.

Alright, I'll admit: The lava lamp bit is a little clever. Basically it works as a regular stomach does, but on demonic steroids. But it wouldn't look so much like Viv's making this up as she goes if we'd seen Bee's stomach performing its intended function in the episode. Let her chow down on a giant piece of food (maybe that cotton candy she's been handing out-?) and swallow it, and let Loona (and the audience) see it dissolving in her transparent belly. As a general rule, if it's not shown or explained in the work itself, it's not canon. Like I've said before, Viv: Elaborate on the nuances in the story you're telling, not on social media.

Also, "Her ears are designed after beehives"? Wh...Wha? Ma'am have you ever seen a beehive.

(Hell, even if you told me the ears were inspired by the generic cartoon beehive we're all familiar with, I wouldn't have guessed. There's a difference between being subtle and being vague.)

I can kinda see it in the overall shape, but that's a very specific design inspiration that wasn't clear at all in the design itself. Same with the "animal trainer" thing: I never would have picked up on that if Viv hadn't pointed it out. If a character design doesn't visually convey all the necessary information, it's not a successful design. Show, don't tell. There's a communication breakdown between what Viv's telling us and what Bee's design shows us.

(It's possible she actually meant "Her ears are designed after honeycombs", but even then, each compartment has a specific pentagonal shape that's not coming across at all here.)

I also find it interesting that Bee and Loona have almost the exact same body type. Of course Viv's pretty infamous for samebody syndrome, but it's actually unnerving how similar these two are.

Might this be a reference to Vortex's "type"? Is this foreshadowing a relationship with Loona? Am I overthinking this? Yeah, probably. Viv's demonstrated a clear preference for tall, skinny body types over the years, so it's safer to assume that's the explanation. It's all aesthetics. It ain't that deep. Occam's Razor and all that.

Finally, Bee how the hell does your shirt work.

The Concept

So at this point it seems most logical to lean into the "bee" thing for the redesign, and scrap all the canine elements. As for the blobby hair and tail... yeeeah let's nix those too. We're going for a streamlined version that's easier to animate. And because I ignored the ringmaster look for my redesign of Asmodeus, it only makes sense to do the same for Bee's animal trainer vibe (what little there is) for the sake of consistency. I know this version of Hell has a circus theme with its highest-ranking demons, but there's never been an in-universe explanation for why that is.

Let's look at actual bees, then. A quick peek at Google has informed me that certain insect species have smaller, "simple" eyes (also known as ocelli), in addition to their compound eyes. In bees, this manifests as a triangular grouping of three beady eyes on top of the head.

In her Helluva Boss episode, Bee's full demon form has three eyes, which could be a reference to this triangular arrangement, plus her regular form has two spots on her forehead in addition to the third eye. So it's possible Viv actually did research for something. Pleasantly surprised on that front.

Next, the body. I've noticed that some folks find Bee's skinny body type refreshing, as the sin of gluttony is too often personified with fatness. And that's fair. That's valid. But consider this:

Imagine any Vivziepop character saying that about a chubby person. Imagine the series sending the message that fat people can be sexy too, and that they have worth outside of their appearance, enough for at least one character to consider them girlfriend material. That they're valued and appreciated regardless of this culture's beauty standards (which we know nothing about since the worldbuilding is as thin and flimsy as tissue paper, but whatever). Imagine if this show finally had a fat female character who wasn't relegated to the background. Don't know about y'all, but that would be refreshing to me. And when you take into account all the fat-shaming of a character who isn't even fat, portraying a fat character as attractive would be a nice change of pace for this show.

Now let's talk about clothing. In the episode, Bee's clothes show off a lot of her body, with a cutout crop top and short shorts. We can take a similar approach for the redesign (something that still shows off her chest, belly, and limbs, in keeping with the extroverted "party girl" persona), but that perhaps includes more queenly elements.

The Redesign

Because this is a redesign, many elements were already in place, but I still had to figure out how this character would look as a bee. Here's where the preliminary sketches came in. Lots of trial and error in this process.

Wrestling with this character's face got a lot easier once I realized I could mold it into a pentagonal shape akin to a honeycomb compartment. It took a few tries, but at last, I had a final sketch.

All that was left to do was test out some color combinations.

I tried a few different approaches, but in the end, this is the version I felt worked best.

I used many of the colors from the original, but pushed the orange much harder since orange is the symbolic color of gluttony as a sin. And overall it gives Bee a nice honey-ish look rather than the generic black and yellow we already see on so many bees in cartoons. I thought the colored outlines on her clothing would add a soft, feminine touch, as well.

And just for kicks, here's a quick sketch of her giant form, inspired by the Infernal Dictionary drawing of Beelzebub.

Conclusion

The canon version of this character exists in the form she does for no reason than to stroke her creator's ego. "Hey guys, remember when I animated that Kesha fan video? Remember how cool that was? Wanna see me foist this unnecessarily-complex character design on other animators while I take a victory lap?" I wouldn't mind so much if Viv animated any of this herself, but she didn't. I could almost excuse this if she had no animation experience and didn't know how much work it requires, but she does. The self-aggrandizing entitlement is just off the charts. But a nonsensical design is leagues better than a stolen one, so... brownie points for that, I guess.

[jinxs-gf]

beauty is in the eye of the beholder

pairings: jinx x reader

summary: You’re an artist, giddy at the thought of creating a portrait of Jinx, your lover. Except she can’t understand why you’d want a portrait of her.

content, warnings: jinx has cute aggression & insecurities, fluff! reader calls jinx ‘angel’ and jinx calls r her toots, too much description and it’s all barely edited D: pretty cringe but it’s okay

w.c. 2.2k

a.n. based off this request <3 again tysm anon ILY :)

You walk into the little corner of Jinx's room (the abandoned, giant space full of nothingness—that goes down...who knows how far) exclusively reserved for you. There's easels with and without canvases. Some covered in abandoned art, some finished, and some blank. The corner screamed you all over it. Especially the mess of unnecessary amounts of paint brushes, buckets, pencils, tore up paper...

Paint splotches and spills were scattered across your little desk and the floor (the work of you and Jinx).

There's particular squabbles of paint that you don’t mind. A happy face with a squiggly smile that's been there long enough to start chipping away. An uneven mess of hearts scattered in attempt to make the perfect one. Big words that read "I love you" in blue and smaller words next to it, "jinx waz here" in pink. The newest stain is on one of the many cans of your desk, a mark of her kiss. She'd quite literally painted her lips with bright purple and kissed the can, insisting it was there so her toots would never miss her.

Even though there's no time to miss her. Even though she resorts to bringing her work over to your tiny desk instead of keeping it to her very spacious one. You don't mind, the closer to your girlfriend the better. You pretend to be bothered though, only so she'd persist and annoy and squish into your space further.

You tie the apron, generously gifted by Silco, around yourself, excited to (hopefully) start a new, special project. It was gifted reluctantly of course. He tried to make it seem like it wasn't a big deal, but it was a very big deal. The eye of Zaun gift giving? Unheard of. You must be special. And you were, according to your blue haired menace that reminded you everyday. The very menace you affectionately named Angel.

"Toots!"

Jinx's gloved hands wrap around your body and suddenly, your back is crunched to her front. Her hands squeeze your tummy while nuzzling her face into you. Clearly she had missed you...for the whole minute you were separated.

It's like she can tell you were thinking it, "What? You didn't miss me while you were gone? You don't seem so excited I'm here." She's teasing like she always does. The edge and rasp in her voice so close to your neck doing wonders to the butterflies in your stomach.

But of course Jinx missed you. Could you really blame her? She hates every second you're apart, and she loves that you do too. So she's open about it, maybe more dramatic and a bit of a show off, but only to make you laugh and see you turn bashful. She loves getting you shy with her affections and teasing, unable to fathom the way you're wrapped around her finger the way she's wrapped around yours.

Your hands delicately grab her small, rough ones, turning yourself around to face her. "Don't even start with me, I'll tickle you to death if you keep up the accusations."

"Is that supposed the be a threat?" And oh, the pout is more real than sarcastic than she wants it to be. Like she genuinely doesn't like the idea of being threatened...by tickles (you know the idea is scary to Jinx, it's the truest form of torture she said once).

"Kind of." Your hands swing in the gap between the two of you. "Hey I actually had an idea. Care to hear?" It's something you've been wanting to do for a while now, giddy at the thought of it. Yet suddenly you find yourself a bit reluctant, still undoubtedly shy around your lover. You hope she'll say yes and that her teasing from this won't be too harsh.

"Hit me with it!"

"Will you let me draw you? Like a full portrait? I promise I'll do you justice!"

Jinx is sorry for it, but she stopped listening immediately, too enraptured by your connected hands, heart beating a little faster at the contact. You'll never know the effect you have on her (or so she thinks), she refuses to get teased even though she loves to tease you. She adores how flustered you get. Teasing is her love language, Jinx's way of showing her love for her toots. And when you decide it's unbearable enough, you'll shut her up with a kiss. Jinx will drag it out and annoy you for that reason alone. She counts on a messy kiss every time.

Unknowing of what to do with the sudden adoration creeping up on her, she pinches your hands hard.

Unfazed, you call her "Angel?"

"Hm?" She looks up and at you with so much affection. So much it stops you for a moment. Your giddiness to do this increases tenfold, her expression killing you in the best way possible. You can be extremely honest about this to soften her up, make her want to say yes.

"I'd like to draw you. Like really, really badly. I have for the longest time. You're just...stupidly pretty and it makes me feel so stupid and I want to scribble your face all over my canvases all the time. So...can I? You'll have to sit for me as reference." You say it as if you don’t have every bit of her memorized, which you completely do.

And for whatever reason, your menace (angel) is stunned. You notice it’s a bad kind of stunned, you realize quickly.

“…Me?”

“Yes?”

“But why?” Jinx asks quiet and unsure of herself. Her eyes look everywhere but you, she tries pulling back but you squeeze her hands. There’s a hint of anxiety around her, something she hasn’t experienced since she met you.

The mood switch and uncharacteristic behavior causes worry to stir in your chest. “Uhh, why wouldn’t I? You’re my girlfriend, you’re the prettiest girl in the Undercity and in Piltover! Trust me, none of those snotty ladies are as pretty-”

“You haven’t even been to Piltover.”

“I don’t need to go over there to know they don’t compare to you.”

She heaves a big sigh, your worry growing.

“I just- I'm not pretty or beautiful or any of the things you say I am. You call me angel when I'm far from that! You love art, it’s your thing, toots. Your passion and escape. How can you let someone like me ruin something you love so much? I don’t want to…I don’t know.”

When you don’t answer, she continues.

“I’m not worthy of so much time being spent on something so precious you know?” She says it like she hopes you’ll agree. You won’t.

“Angel,” you let go of her hands to cup her face, needing her to hear you. “Of course you’re worth spending time on. I love you. Do I not say it enough? I know I can be-”

“No, you say it lots and lots!”

“I’ll say it more. I need to make sure you believe it. And guess what? I meant what I said Angel. You’re the prettiest girl. The prettiest to exist. And you’re mine, do you know how lucky I am? You clearly don’t understand how much I feel for you. You’re worth every second I’m gonna spend on your portrait, you understand?”

And finally, her smile is back, gone is the unsure frown.

Jinx nods and you nod while smiling with her, going in for a kiss…multiple kisses. Kisses all over her precious face, because she deserves to feel loved. To know that she’s loved.

You can be put your timidness to the side for the hour. She needs your confidence in your feelings right now. Your confidence in her.

"Now get in my lap, I need a better look at your pretty face." Your teasing demand flusters her. She immediately settles in your lap so your chests touch. It wasn't everyday (really ever) that you spoke to her like that, always too shy to do so. But Jinx finds that she kind of likes it, she wants you to demand contact with her, especially in a position like this. It makes her feel gooey inside. Butterflies uncontainable.

It's not exactly ideal, you're not used to having your girlfriend in your lap while sketching. But you wanted this, and it's not making it impossible. All you have to do is wrap your arms around her pretty waist and rest your chin on her shoulder. It's perfect.

"For science huh? To 'get a better look' at me was it? Toots, if you wanted me in your lap you coulda just said that!" She teases, assuming you just wanted her there to have a more accurate picture.

You quietly confess, "jus' wanted you in my lap." Giving her waist a squeeze while you sketch her jaw.

You can tell you've stumped her (but this time in a good way). She's gone impossibly quiet and still. Warm too, just like she always does when you attempt to flirt. The two of you were truly unable to get over and deal with the timidness of being affectionate. Of being together.

And just like always, she melts. Like how ice cream does in the sun (a sugary delight you've been able to share with Jinx once). Her stiff back let's loose and she squeezes in return. She holds on like you'll disappear. You wouldn't. Not ever, because how could you? When you love her and when she loves you to death?

It’s quiet for the rest of the time you’re drawing, Jinx resorting to drawing patterns on your back, seemingly drifting off at some point. She internally scolded herself for it, not wanting you to think she was bored but it was taking a while. She wanted to have this moment with you though, it was so delicate, something that’s not occurred before. Especially with the earlier conversation. It was special.

You dot the last bit of her freckles on the white sheet. "All done," a kiss to the side of her head that makes her impossibly warm and dig her face deeper. "Needa color it in now." Color it with the paint the two of you always make a mess out of, there's no doubt in your mind it'll happen again.

She turns to finally look at it, her eyes wider than you've ever seen. "Holy shit toots, there's no way you did that!"

"Are you accusing me of cheating?"

"Maybe." She always knew you were the best artist of the Undercity (definitely not biased), you were just that good. But this was different. Was it because it was a drawing of her? Well...it was also the fact that it was so accurate. From her eyes, nose, mouth, jaw...even the way her hair curled in front of her face. And the scars, scars even she herself had forgotten about. But you remembered, you hadn't looked at Jinx once the whole time. You really did have her memorized huh? You didn’t have to say it, the way you insisted she sat in your lap instead of on a different chair for reference and the drawing in front of her is enough proof.

Jinx needed to go look in whatever was left of her shattered mirror to see this. She couldn't believe how pretty she looked on a piece of paper. She couldn't believe you took the time to do this. That you even wanted to in the first place. Jinx has been flustered and felt her heart beating awfully fast just from your gaze alone. But she thinks her heart might be about ready to explode, much like her countless monkey bombs or firelights.

She's unsure how to contain or show this rush of deep, deep affection, so she pushes your face from where it's searching her reaction and jumps out your lap, rushing for your paint cans.

You're kind of confused, but also accepting of her reaction. You're used to it, not that she always runs away due to avoiding feelings. Definitely not. Jinx was one to have so much affection for something or someone that you just...want to pinch, squeeze or...bite it. Luckily she hasn't got you (yet). It was a little shove, probably to prevent herself from sinking her teeth into your cheek. (You truly wouldn't have minded) (you kind of would have, it hurts).

She's back in front of you holding up a bucket half full of bright blue paint. At her feet she's set down small cans of various blues, pinks, and purples. Her favorite colors, obviously.

"Here ya go toots!” There’s no doubt in your mind you’ll be making a mess with the paint when you’re done.

Except, you haven’t even picked out a paint brush before you feel her hands grab your waist from behind, the familiar feeling of paint transferring from her touch to your body.

You look back at her, squinting. “Excuse me?”

“What? Can’t grab my toots’ love handles?”

You turn around, grabbing her hands and pulling her closer to you. You take a peak at her handy work, the blue on your waist making you feel things. You won’t let her know that though.

“Two can play at that game.”

“Try me then toots.”

You release your hands from hers and cup her face with them, leaving blue prints of your palms on her cheeks.

[blacknedsoul-blog]

A detailed explanation from my headcanon that Annabel has ADHD

So I had this six fucking hour trip. On a bus. Alone. And I was bored out of my mind, because sitting around being bored is as close to mental torture as it gets for me.

Fortunately, the light at the end of the tunnel: I was inspired. Away from the burnout I have with fanfics, I remembered that I've mentioned this headcanon several times on Nevermore's Discord and just thought, what better time to talk about ADHD than when I'm having a pretty ADHD moment?

But before I start, there are a few little things that need to be pretty clear on the table:

I'm being a bit hypocritical here: in general, I'm deeply against diagnosing fictional characters for two reasons: first, it's an impossible task to distinguish between character traits and symptoms to such an extent that you can go around forever without coming to a real conclusion unless the author of the work confirms it, and second, even if you have the disorder you're talking about, you can fall into the trap of perpetuating stereotypes or generalizing, thereby invalidating other experiences. So even if the tone of this review sounds very assertive, it is because of my writing style. I am in no way diagnosing Annabel; this is an analysis of her character through the lens of a possible disorder.

In relation to the above, where I point out an event in the comic that can be read as a symptom, I am not reducing it to "this only happens because she has ADHD". You CAN'T reduce a person's personality to "they has a disorder," and when I point out these examples, I'm not doing so with the intention of denying the background behind it, but rather pointing out how, under the magnifying glass of having it, it might exacerbate that behavior.

I am NOT a psychologist, a psychiatrist, or a neurologist: I am a woman with ADHD. One who has done a lot of research on the subject, been in therapy with a psychologist who specializes in the disorder, and talked extensively about it both with friends who also have it and with professionals. But I don't have a career in mental health, I don't pretend to, and everything you'll read below is a mixture of research and personal experience.

You're going to see a lot of "we" or "those of us with ADHD" because, as I said, I have it too, but this is all a generalization made for the sake of flow. The symptoms of this disorder can be expressed in many different ways, and not everyone has all of them (for example, there are some that I don't have, but it would be strange to change the voice of the text just because of that, it makes it harder to read). If you have ADHD and read a symptom and think "hey, I don't get that", that's perfectly normal. Your experience is valid and I don't want to pass it on. But it would be exhausting for me and for the reader to use tentative phrases all the time.

If this text resonates too much with you, I strongly recommend that you see a professional, if you're able, and not self-diagnose: ADHD has many symptoms in common with autism and other neuro divergences, don't risk misdiagnosis.

If you have a different opinion than mine on this subject and want to share it with me, I'll be happy to read it, if I don't answer it's because I forgot (forgive me?). But you can be sure that I will read it.

Anyway, let's get started.

What is ADHD?

According to the NIH (National Institute of Mental Health) website, this is the definition of ADHD:

Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is marked by an ongoing pattern of inattention and/or hyperactivity-impulsivity that interferes with functioning or development. People with ADHD experience an ongoing pattern of the following types of symptoms:

Inattention means a person may have difficulty staying on task, sustaining focus, and staying organized, and these problems are not due to defiance or lack of comprehension.

Hyperactivity means a person may seem to move about constantly, including in situations when it is not appropriate, or excessively fidgets, taps, or talks. In adults, hyperactivity may mean extreme restlessness or talking too much.

Impulsivity means a person may act without thinking or have difficulty with self-control. Impulsivity could also include a desire for immediate rewards or the inability to delay gratification. An impulsive person may interrupt others or make important decisions without considering long-term consequences.

Here is an impression that needs to be clarified: ADHD is more about an inability to regulate attention than a lack of it. A neurotypical person may choose to focus on a task to get it done, we may procrastinate to death because even if we want to, we can't focus on it, or stand there absorbed in it ad infinitum until the house falls down around us (and we may still have trouble noticing). This is understood, Understanding all this, here is the list of Annabel's behaviors that could be interpreted as symptoms.

Hyperactivity

One thing that not everyone knows is that hyperactivity is not about running around like an uncontrolled animal. It can manifest itself in many ways, and there are many types: physical, mental, and even emotional.

In Annabel's case, she seems to be the first two types.

Perhaps due to her difficulty in expressing emotions, it is quite obvious at this point in the comic that her moods are made explicit through gestures: playing with her rings when she is happy or nervous, touching the ribbon around her neck in moments of anxiety, or playing with her hair almost as a default state.

Annabel.

Doesn't.

Sit.

Still.

Never.

It is also clear that Annabel is always planning something. Always.

This can be read into the logic of mental hyperactivity: when you have it, your brain just doesn't stop. Ever. And that's something that resonates with this lady.

Emotional Dysregulation

The part of the brain that regulates our moods works…erratically. Not to say it doesn't work at all.

This leads to a painfully common problem in women with ADHD: lack of emotional regulation is seen as drama, and instead of being taught tools to deal with it, we are taught to repress and bottle up emotions.

Annabel has highly internalized this as a defense mechanism. But here's the thing: if repressing emotions instead of learning how to deal with them in a healthy way is harmful, being biologically unable to regulate them can be even worse.

It touches the right nerves, and if you catch us flying low, it can cause explosive outbursts.

Possibly violent reactions to feeling offended or uncomfortable.

Or completely over-the-top reactions that we can't control.

And it's not just anger that's affected, it's the whole emotional spectrum. Another emotion that is very noticeable is fear. If we don't develop tools to help us calm down, we don't get scared, we panic.

If this happens too often, we can become prone to developing severe anxiety or frequent attacks.

We may also have great difficulty dealing with frustration. Our brains love rewards, and feeling that we're not getting them because of our own inability to do something can be downright annoying. And if we don't have the tools to express our frustration appropriately, we can have quite childish reactions, ranging from temper tantrums to…pouting.

I find it funny how several of these pouts are caused by Lenore, a bit like "Oh, come on, honey, what are we talking about?"

Another important thing to note here is that one of the most fucked up and notorious symptoms of this lack of emotional regulation is RSD, short for Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, defined as "a problem that interferes with your ability to regulate your emotional responses to feelings of failure and rejection. While rejection is almost always unpleasant, people with RSD experience overwhelming levels of emotional pain. This can lead to long-term mental health problems, fear of failure, and behavioral changes that negatively affect them throughout their lives."

Rejection and fear of failure are a problem for us. So much so that we may seek strategies to avoid it as much as possible, even when it causes us problems (such as not completing a task for fear of doing it wrong). This is an issue that can tear us apart emotionally.

Annabel is terrified of being rejected or despised. Her whole life has been built around appearances and getting the right people interested in her. If she can't do that, what good is she?

And that's something that comes up a lot in her relationship with Lenore. Repeatedly, in fact, but my favorite has to be this one:

Annabel thought it would be the smart thing to do to break that bond because she knows they're never going to see each other again. But the look on her face when Lenore calls her a "damn liar" is just painful to watch. I think ripping her heart out with a rusty spoon would have hurt less.

Finally, on the subject of things that aren't so funny: that thing Annabel does about biting her fingers when she's in a critical situation is something I used to do, too (only I'd bite my knuckles or palms).

My psychologist explained to me that when you feel like you're losing control, you immediately look for something to ground you, and unfortunately, physical pain is often a quick (if damaging) way to do that.

Codependency

Okay, here's a thing: it's not that we have a tendency as such to codependency, but this is a situation that can occur due to bad practices within a relationship. Especially a couple one.

As it stands out, people with ADHD can have a lot of problems with micromanaging ourselves, remembering things, dealing with our emotions, etc, etc, etc. And it is natural for close friends, family or our partner to help in those processes.

The problem arises when that help starts to become a parentification process where the partner who is providing support starts to do this on behalf of the other person, infantilizing them in the process.

This is a cocktail for resentment on both sides: the party calling the shots can easily feel that the other is putting a huge burden on their shoulders and not trying hard enough, while, on the other side, no one likes to feel like they are being treated like a child. Let alone that the person doing it is your partner.

But at the other end of resentment, there's codependency.

The constant feeling that you are a burden, insufficient or even disposable.

And that means you have a lot to make up for. On a regular basis. So much that you put yourself in a situation where you have to make horrible decisions so that someone else doesn't have to because somehow you owe it to them, who hasn't had that happen?

What I mean is that yes, Annabel feels like she owes this to Lenore because she only remembers the part where Lenore came kicking in doors to save her from a marriage she didn't want. And if she can't do this for her, she doesn't deserve a relationship.

Feeling inadequate, that your partner is doing you some kind of favor by tolerating you and ending up idealizing their in the process is obviously not unique to the neurodivergent experience.

But we try, we try really hard and, like anyone else, we like to feel that the effort we put in is seen and valued.

If we are not careful about that, we do indeed fall into the risk of becoming codependent. The desire to feel loved or valued becomes a constant hunger for validation from which it is difficult to escape because we are aware that our brain will never function in a different way. And if that is mixed with RSD, it can become an even bigger problem.

Novelty, games, challenges, and rewards

Producing dopamine on a normal basis is one thing our brains aren't very good at (one of the reasons we can be prone to depression, for example), but you know what they love? Challenges and rewards.

New things feed our endless curiosity, but for some reason unknown to me, our brains really love challenges and dares. They give us dopamine like we're on a high.

So much so that some people use it as a tactic to perform tasks they don't like: "How many dishes can I wash before my dinner is ready?", "If I can finish this in less than 30 minutes, I can go get chocolate."

One medium we may like very much for this reason is games. Board games, card games, or virtual games. It doesn't matter. Games provide a very good balance of challenge and reward.

If you see that Annabel seems overly interested in how this works, it's because there may be a part of her that thinks "aside from the deadly situation we're in…this is like the most hardcore escape room ever" and inevitably there's something here that stirs her bug.

It may be something she loves about Lenore. As a good hypocrite, Annabel despises the rules she knows so well, so when Lenore comes along with this gimmick and completely changes the paradigm of what she knows, there is inevitably something that appeals to her. Others who are good at the game look down on Lenore's disdain for the rules, to Annabel it is fucking appealing because it offers a range of unexplored possibilities that she fucking loves.

Erratic Communication

When our brains are running at full speed, communication can become a challenge, and we tend to exhibit erratic patterns.

One of these is info-dumping. Touch a topic we know about or are interested in and it's like stepping on a landmine: we explode talking about it. Non-stop. You'll have to hit us to shut us up.

Another thing is that we can have a bad habit of interrupting. A lot. It's not malicious, it's just that we're really into the conversation and want to participate as much as possible.

That said, even if we're extroverts, it can be a nightmare to withhold information or participate in a conversation if it doesn't grab our attention. It's not that we want to be disrespectful or anything, it's just that, again, we have no control over our ability to pay attention and we're swimming against the tide to hold on to whatever it is you're telling us.

This scene is something I've seen in friends with ADHD and have been told I do: stare at people while doing your best to do the hamster run to remember what they're telling you because you know it's important, even though your brain is putting it together with junk information because it's not engaging your attention in the right way.

Ignore the murderous stare part, it's not that common - at least I hope not.

Drinks that are like a pill

Our brains are not designed to produce certain hormones naturally or, in some cases, they produce them under other circumstances. For things like that, we can take pills, develop strategies to help our brains produce hormones.

And drink coffee. Lots of coffee.

Caffeine can be extremely relaxing for us because it can actually help our brains keep functioning, you know that stereotype of the highly coded ADHD character who drinks coffee like it's his life? Well, that's because.

You know what other beverage has a similar effect? Tea. Theine is also a natural activator, perhaps less aggressive than coffee, but it can have a similar effect.

If you're interested in describing this topic in fanfic or touching on it in fanart, tea should have a relaxing effect on Annabel and even help her concentrate.

Boredom

We get bored. A lot. And we get painfully bored. Here's what happens: boredom is caused by a lack of stimulation, and our brains aren't stimulated just because we can't regulate our attention to seek out that stimulation.

Add to that the fact that when we are bored, without dopamine hitting our receptors, our executive functions diminish and we function like shit.

Boredom

Is

Fucking

Murder

Because our brain starts desperately asking for dopamine and we can fall into really unhealthy behaviors like fighting, being chronically online, or eating because we can't find anything better to do. This also contributes -again- to our depression or anxiety.

Conclusions (and if I don't make the joke, I'll die)

In the book ADHD After Dark (a study of ADHD, relationships, and physical intimacy), Ari Tuckman draws some interesting conclusions, one of which is that on a statistical level, people with ADHD seem to be more likely to have what he calls "sexual eagerness": kinks, fetishes, a tendency to be adventurous in bed, and the like. Again, our brains love play, and both intimacy and flirtation can involve a lot of it.

So…

Um…

…well, I think Lenore will be happy. Good for her.

Anyway, this has been a seriously long explanation. Thanks for reading this far.

[valaryswrites]

🪐 where kylo calls hux and order him to fuck you while he watches (and he loves it)

warnings: smut & english is not my first language

The idea sounded exquisite to you. For some reason, it was Kylo Ren who brought it up. He was a man that could never share, unless he really wanted to. And god, he really wanted to this time.

"Your request caught me by surprise, Ren." Hux said, unbuttoning his uniform, standing right next to the bed where you were laying, already naked. "But I'm quite excited for it, I must say."

"Mhm." Kylo nodded, sitting in a chair next to the bed, watching you realize what was going to happen. "I'll be watching you." He said to you, almost in a whisper. "Every touch, every word, every look you give him. I'll be envious. Jealous." He swore. "Enjoying it."

"Any rules, Ren? Before we start?" Hux asked, taking off his belt.

"I won't give you any orders, General. I want you to use your best judgement. Use her."

"Use?" You asked, quite surprised to hear that word.

"Yes. To use." Kylo said, with a grin. "You're a toy tonight."

Hux laughed a little, and you notice how hard he was under his uniform trousers. He lean in, giving you a kiss. A passionate kiss. His tongue was in your mouth, dancing with yours. And Kylo watched, eyes locked on the two of you.

It felt weird to kiss another mouth, but it felt exquisite too.

"That's it, General..." Ren said, adjusting himself in the chair next to the bed. "Show me how much you desire her. I've seen you watching her in meetings. Show me, and do anything and everything you wish. But..." He said, and Hux stopped kissing you, breathing heavily, to look at him. "... Don't forget to bring her back to me in one piece. She is still mine, after all."

Those words made you feel a desperate warmth all over your body. Hux smiled and continued, kissing your neck and stroking your hair a little. He went further, biting your collarbone and even leaving some marks. You tought Kylo would get mad, but he didn't. You pictured your Master caressing himself over his trousers. Teasing himself, slowly.

"Good, General." Kylo said, breathing heavily, but still sounding demanding. "You really know how to worship a woman's body, don't you?" Hux nodded, but without talking; his mouth was wondering all over your breasts. "You have to be gentle with her. But firm. Very firm." As he speaks, he keeps touching himself over his uniform.

"Your woman is delicious, Ren." Hux said, going down on you and leaving traces of saliva everywhere.

"She's more than that, General. She's the finest piece of flesh you've ever touched." Kylo smiles, looking at your face. "Remember to be firm with her. Don't hold back. Use all of that strength, energy and desire I know you have. Let her feel it."

After that order, Hux knew he had to obey. He wanted to obey. While eating you, as if you were a plate of food to a hungry man, he spanked you. And you groaned in pleasure.

The more exciting part, was turning your head to Kylo and see him stroking his cock freely now. Still wearing his leather gloves, now covered in his own saliva. He smirked before talking to the General, without taking his eyes off you.

"She likes that, General." He said. "I think it's time for you to give her what she really wants. Don't hold back just because you're sharing her with me."

Hux lifted up his face, licking his lips and teeth like an animal. Without any warning, he grabbed you by your waist and moved you even nearer to him, caressing your entrance with the tip of his cock.

Kylo stood up and walked towards you, kneeling next to bed, with his head next to yours.

"Tell the General what you want, baby." He whispered in your ear, and you could listen the sound of his leather gloves wrapping and moving up and down around his cock.

You tried to speak, but the stimulation was too much.

"Use your words." Ren said, demanding.

"For god's sake, fu-fuck me, General..." You managed to speak, and some laughter came out from the throats of the two men around you.

"Lord, she feels fantastic..." Hux said, after finally sliding himself into you. "I envy you... Getting to f-fuck her every... single... day..." He said between harder thrusts.

"Give me a good show, General." Kylo ordered. "She likes what you're doing to her, so keep using her." You were unable to speak. "But... she can also do some convincing. She know exactly what to say to get you to do whatever she wants."

"Then tell me..." Hux begged, trying not to cum all over you already.

"Go fast... faster." You thought it was impossible to use your words, but you did. This lust was something you've never experienced.

"Come on, baby..." Kylo whispered in your ear, still stroking himself but this time even faster. "Say it louder to the General."

"Faster!" You said in a scream, knowing for sure that the Knights of Ren heard you from the other side of the door.

And Hux delivered without any problem. His orange hair was dripping wet and looking so messy, you never thought you would see the General like this. So desperate, without the good manners he usually has towards you.

"Isn't she a lovely sight, General? Don't hold back, you can be harder than that. I want you to be harder." Kylo demanded, as he grabbed you by your hair and forced you to look at him. "Look at me, baby..." He whispered between some groaning. "I'm fucking my hand wishing it was you... Watching how another takes you... In-Infront of me..." You opened your mouth and instead of a word, it was only a loud moan what came out. Hux hit a good spot in a rough way.

"She's a noisy one, General." Kylo said, looking at the redhead now, who was already smiling.

"I'm not sure... I'm not sure I can't hold it any longer, Lord..." Hux said, struggling to speak.

"You can't go yet, General." Kylo denied, and then whispered in your ear. "Turn around." He ordered you. "Let him cum by taking you in all fours. And you'll watch me." Ren was totally lost in pleasure, sounding so mean and desperate it could only make you feel even more aroused.

You didn't even have to move, they did it for you and you end up in all fours, with your head looking directly at the chair where Kylo sit again. His stomach was covered in cum, and that's how you knew that Kylo was having fun, and fucking himself for the second time now.

While Hux kept fucking you, you tried your best to keep your eyes opened.

The sight was beautiful; Kylo Ren, a man respected and feared all over the galaxy, playing with his own cock while his General was using you. Looking directly at your eyes. And while doing so, he spoke.

"Cum already, General." Ordered. "All over her. I don't care. She doesn't care either. But you, my love..." He now said to you. "You don't get to finish. You'll hold it in for me." The moment he said that, Hux couldn't help but cum inside you. The man was exhausted. "Because after the General leaves, I'm going to fuck you again, and again, and again... And I'll be the one to make you cum."

After saying those words, Kylo finished in his leather covered hands once again. And you were just there, breathing heavily in the bed, while Hux was dressing himself.

"It was a pleasure, Ren." The General said, right next to the door. Kylo approached him, taking his gloves off.

"You did good, General." Kylo said, stretching out his hand to shake Hux's. "I might call you soon, again." You heard him say, and you couldn't help but let go a mischievous smile. It was Kylo's turn now.

[enha-sua]

(🔴) ... [ NOW PLAYING ] [ENGENE-MADE] THE LOVE TRIANGLE THAT IS : HEESUHOON !

❛intro❜ : every generation has famous ships , it's inevitable.... but out of all the fourth gen ships , there hasn't been any that comes close the mess of a love triangle that is heesuhoon.

quick heesuhoon analysis: heeseung likes sua , but sunghoon also likes sua , but sua hates love triangles and they both know that but that doesn't stop them , and they think they're being slick but fans are aware and some are team suseung and some are team suhoon , and then theres a portion of them who just want all three of them to get a house together and live there lives until their golden age there (me) and for heehoon to stop being so obviously suspicious of jungwon , because of the small crush he had during i-land...

anyways today we're here to decide who's the best ship , and then it's up to you guys to pick your favorite ship

ROUND ONE !

heeseung tying her shoe for her when she can't do it

example one: *video from a concert* *sua having to sit down during a few concerts because she sustained a injury to her knee and had to wear a cast* *doesn't know her shoe is untied* *heeseung does though* *heeseung mouthing: "your shoe" * *she can't hear* "huh" *bends down in the middle of the concert to tie her shoe* *the rest of enhypen are in complete confusion* *like dawg you are in the middle of the concert🤨*

example two: "unnie , your shoe!" *fan points to her shoes.* "ah! thank you" *about to bend down and tie it* *heeseung is quicker than that though* *bends down* *engenes going crazy* *enhypen once again caught in these two's love story while the staff are in the back gave up telling them to chill out* *sua is flustered* "as expected from heeseung." *jay is annoyed , even though he's captain of the ship*

heeseung: 2 sunghoon: 0

ROUND TWO !

sunghoon always holding her bags for her

example one: "this bag is so annoying , i don't even know why i carry it." *spots a wild sunghoon minding his business*"my shoulders hurt so bad." *sunghoon immediately grabbing the bag* "i told you to stop using this bag , you always get red marks from holding it on your shoulders all day." *holding it in his hand.* "i'll only hold it for a second , then you're getting it back" *aggressive love* *3 hours later: he still has it* *jake notices him holding it on his shoulder now* "bro , she tricked you again?" *he doesn't even care* "yah , her shoulder was hurting , leave me alone." *he was hoodwinked*

example two: *fan video from twitter when they were at the prada event* *sunghoon waiting for her to get out the car* *ladies if he could he would* *finally gets out the car , and they're walking* *sunghoon mouthing: hand me your bag* *look at her smile , she knows she has him wrapped around her finger* *sua mouthing: thanks love* *happy hoonie* *suhooners have a field day with this video every other week*

heeseung: 2 sunghoon: 2

ROUND THREE : !

heeseung giving her his sweater

*sua talking to engenes* *heeseung senses something is wrong* "are you cold?" *he's so cute 😭* "no , im fine." *she's obviously cold* "i told you to wear something warm." *heeseung scolding her as usual* "yah- im not cold" *doesn't want him to win* "fine , next time you should listen* *pouty sua* *she keeps talking , but he can see her shivering* *takes his sweater off , wrapping it around her body* *smiley sua* "i knew you were cold." *look at his smile , that is the look of a man in love*

heeseung: 3 sunghoon : 2

ROUND FOUR !

sunghoon always keeping a sweater for her in his bag

*sua literally past out in the back😭* *sunghoon noticing* "that's because she's up all night playing on her ipad , she never goes to bed on time." *shaking his head like he isn't right beside when she's spamming weverse like a lunatic* "she's probably uncomfortable and cold." *gets up and walks away from the camera* *5 minutes later* *he's back with her sweater , draping it over her body* "she falls asleep anywhere , so you have to keep one at all times." *he says with the most serious face* "cute" *like what sunghoon😭*

heeseung: 3 sunghoon: 3

ROUND FIVE !

suseung being cute

example one: *sua's birthday live* "where are the members? everyone is busy , they said they could've make it , but i'll take the cake home and we'll share it." *look at her frown* "anyway , back to what i was talking about." *5 minutes later* *knock on the door* "oh? who could that be?" *confused sua* *door opens* "i'm li-" *look at how her eyes light up* "what are you doing here" *that smile 💔* "what do you mean?" *it's heeseung !!!* "i came to wish you a happy birthday." *handing her the gift* "what is this?" *embarrassed heeseung* "ah! don't open yet , wait until i leave." *spoiler alert : it was the necklace she really wanted , im fucking sobbing😭* "thank you." *hugs him* *all the suseungers are dying*

example two: *sua and heeseung on a day out* "she forced me to sit in the nail salon for and hour while she got her nails sone." *she bamboozled* "i asked you if you wanted me to wait , i was gonna wait !" *not him just laughing* "anyways , i got these , they're baby pink , and look i got little bow gems." *heeseung cooking up a idea* *smirking* "let me see." *pouty sua* "no" "come on , let me see." *so unaware* "fine , only because they're cute and i want to show them off." *shows him* *grabs her hand and interlocks them* *look how flustered she is* "what are you doing?" *heeseung trying to be innocent* "what" *so fucking cute😭💔*

heeseung: 5 sunghoon: 3

ROUND SIX !

suhoon being cute

example one: *sua doing a live in her room* "i cleaned my room for this , it's normally clothes everywhere" *same love , same* *knock on the door* "give me a minute" *gets up to answer it* "yah , im live." "i know , i was watching on my way home." *sunghoon doesn't care , he's come to disturb her piece* "park sunghoon!" *sits on her bed* "what do you want?" *sits back down* "did you just get home?" *like did she forget she was live , her whole body is turned to him* "hmm , i bought you food." *smiley sua* "thank you." *like the eye contact is killing me* "i'll wait for you to finish , so we can eat together." *and he did , he waited for the entire live 😭*

example two: *vacation content* *sua likes sitting by herself sometimes* *sunghoon likes to sit with sua* "what?" *says nothing* "what do you want?" just grabs her hand , and holds it.* *her face is all red , enhypen staff are literally throwing up rn trying to edit this* *they literally just sit in silence , while he plays with her fingers* *like the rest of the members are literally bouncing off the walls and they're just sitting there*

heeseung: 5 sunghoon: 5

BONUS CLIP OF HEESUHOON IN ACTION !

heehoon both being jealous and ready to kill jungwon ( not literally no jungwons were actually hurt ) *hopefully😀*

"noona." *sua anytime the maknae line calls her that* "ah , cute!" *pinches his cheek* "so cute" *sua calm down , he's not going no where there's no need to be hugging him like that* *jungwon pretending this is his own personal hell , knowing he loves this* *heehoon on the other hand , this is their personal hell* *look at their faces 😳* "yah sua." *heeseung stopping sunghoon from a scandal* *sua hears them , turns around* *notices their expressions* *smiles* *look at them giggling like little school children* *all she did was smile STAND UP*

heeseung: 6 sunghoon: 6

❛outro❜ : there's no winner they both are equally in love with the girl who hates love triangles and they should all just get a house together and live out their days there... but in all serious , who's your favorite ship , suseung or suhoon ?

comment down you fav , and don't forget to like and subscribe for more sua content goodbye 👋🏽

©️ENHA-SUA

[topsyturvy-turtely]

✨The Sherlock Holmes Museum✨

221B Baker Street, London

hi turtles! here it comes: the photo post to the sherlock holmes museum. i'll include my favorite pictures & the information i could actually keep in my silly brain (probably none). i'll number the pictures, so you can keep track.

please keep in mind that the place was pretty crowded and i couldn't take pictures of everything in perfect quality/from the perfect perspective.

the entrance (1) looks like this:

i especially loved the little blue sign (2) above and the "policeman" (3) dressed in a victorian policeman outfit - with a sherlock holmes tie 🥹 (i didn't get a picture of that, i thought it'd be weird to take a picture of him)

the living room (4).

there were two comfy looking armchairs, a fireplace (sadly without billy the skull 😔), and in the right corner you see the chemistry set of Holmes. with the violin right next to it.

in general, they tried to create the rooms exactly how Sir Arthur Conan Doyle described them in his books. it was described as small but with two big windows to the west side (was it west?? i can't remember...).

on the left you can see the desk (5), which i think was used by both: Holmes and Watson (not 100% sure about that tho). on the right you see what was hung up on the walls (6) (the guns lol).

on the opposite wall of the fireplace, you see the shooting marks (7), made by Holmes: the intials "VR" stand for "Victoria Regina" (= Queen Victoria) (Holmes' way to say "long live the queen" i guess? this man was fun when bored...)

and i took a picture of the "The Times" page (8) which laid on the desk because... apparently! i was in the musuem on the day Holmes and Watson moved in together (*johnlock heart explodes a little bit*) and you can see the date somewhere on there... (i found it. but i think she lied to us... imo it says july the 5th and i was there on august the 27th (*dramatic voice* UNbelievable! *excessive eye-roll*) (okay maybe i misunderstood her??? idk))

let's move on to Sherlock Holmes' bedroom.

on the bed were laying two boxes (9). one was with... idk random Holmes-stuff (honestly can't remember what she said to that...) and the second was with the iconic deerstalker inside. funfact about the deerstalker: ACD never mentioned this to be a signature feature of our beloved detective. this only became a thing later on. some dude, whose name i can't remember (i warned you about my silly brain), just decided he'll use that in a film production, because it would be much more accessible for the common folk. deerstalkers were mainly used by hunters and the working class. because Sherlock Holmes, who lived in a rather wealthy neighborhood, was a man of the upper class, he would have worn a different kind of hat (10).

this post is part 1 of a series, because apparently you can't upload more than 10 pictures per post (🙄🙄🙄). links for the next parts will be included once all have been uploaded.

-> part 2

-> part 3

keep reading - tag list

tag list! @justanobsessedpan @helloliriels @catlock-holmes @fluffbyday-smutbynight @inevitably-johnlocked @hisfavouritejumper @rhasima @forfucksakejohn @ohlooktheresabee @turbulenttrouble @so-youre-unattached-like-me @totallysilvergirl @peanitbear @train-mossman @loki-lock @smulderscobie @timberva @grace-in-the-wilderness @chinike @jawnn-watson @whatnext2020 @escapingthereality @missdeliadili @kettykika78 @musingsofmyown @7-percent @speedymoviesbyscience @astudyin221b @francj15 @we-r-loonies @mxster-jocale @sherlockcorner @noahspector @our-stars-graveside @jobooksncoffee @baker-street-blog @macgyvershe @myladylyssa @battledress @a-victorian-girl @dreamerofthemeadow @oetkb12 @ohnoesnotagain @mutedsilence @jawnscoffee @raenchaosandcozyadashofmurder @a-victorian-girl @lisbeth-kk @quickslvxrr @safedistancefrombeingsmart

[williamrikers]

thoughts on the first episode of 4 minutes

everyone seems to be doing these now, so i'll join in bc i need a way to process what i just saw. putting this under a cut bc of spoilers—if you are familiar with boc's other works (especially kinnporsche and dff) i strongly recommend you try and avoid spoilers before watching! i watched this episode not knowing what was coming and That Scene made me shriek so loudly i probably scared my neighbours. ANYWAY.

okay let's get the big thing out of the way first. bas and fuaiz. HOLY SHIT. i was literally pausing the whole time to text my friend just "WHAT" over and over. They Did That.

let me break this down. boc took one look at the current politics regarding shipped couples in bl, said "yeah we're not doing that" and let bas and fuaiz have a whole entire sex scene. (while gmmtv, for example, let phuwin and thor not even touch lips on wednesday club because phuwin is part of a sacred Shipped Couple.) AND WHAT A SEX SCENE IT WAS!!! i am pretty sure we're gonna see everyone's bare ass over the course of this show. if this is what they're showing us in the very first episode for a couple who i'm guessing might not be endgame?? i mean. damn. what will jes and bible get up to??? mark me down as scared and horny 🫣

sex in boc shows is usually pretty explicit but in this case it's also. just a thing two people do? it's not romanticised. it's strongly implied that tonkla is having sex with korn because korn is paying him for it. korn is older and from an incredibly rich family, and while they were sweet with each other and obviously both enjoyed it, it did feel like a transaction a little bit.

what i found most impressive about this scene was that we got to see tonkla being left alone afterwards and then visibly dealing with that. we could watch him processing—i don't think i've ever seen this kind of post sex unhappiness depicted in bl, and it was so beautifully subtle! we don't yet know whether tonkla was just unhappy with how that particular evening went or if he is unhappy with the arrangement as a whole, but Something Is Definitely Up and it is so incredibly intriguing.

while we're talking about korn, the family dynamics in this show have me in a chokehold. bas and bible as brothers was a genius casting choice, they really do feel like siblings, they have a very sweet vibe together while korn is obviously worried about his younger brother. the whole deal with their father's illegal business of which korn only learns when he is supposed to manage it, the way korn treats his father in general, korn's mother having passed away shortly after his birth and korn being raised by his step-mother (great's mom), it's all so incredibly juicy. bas just has so much presence on screen, he is an absolutely wonderful actor and at this point, i am almost more invested in his story than in the main story 🤭

speaking of which: love that bible got one of his cats to act with him 😂😂 thailand's number one cat dad. but yeah, i am Intrigued, i am seated, i am so happy to be alive to witness this. i don't think there's a lot to be said on this yet bc most of the episode was exposition and great learning about his new powers, and also the narrative tying them to near-death experiences so that we know what we're dealing with going forward. (shout-out to job here bc it was so nice to see him again and also so weird to see him as a character who is actually smart haha 😂)

the production value of this show is off the charts. the first scene of great being pulled back in time was ABSOLUTELY BREATHTAKING. literally the best i've ever seen out of thailand. boc are taking their craft very seriously and it is just such a joy to watch.

also, the numbers everywhere! it got to the point that i was like, oh of COURSE she is in room number 4, WHERE ELSE?? 😂😂

i am so seated for this show. like i cannot express how seated i am. BRING IT ON, BE ON CLOUD.

[muddyorbsblr]

after hours visits

'one look and they'll know' collection masterlist See my full list of works here!

Placement: hours after 'a tale of ice baths and hot sauce'

Summary: An unwelcome visitor knocks at the door of Tom's hotel room while you two were trying to enjoy your evening together

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x Reader

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: 18+ | smuttish steamy moments (minors & pearl clutchers please exit the chat…like right now); coitus interruptus; language; insecure reader moment towards the end; mentions of cheating (not Tom, our precious meow meow would never); Brynne (yeah she's a warning now) [let me know if i missed anything!]

Things to be aware of: established relationship

"I think we should break the facade," Tom exhaled softly, his breathing already evened out while he held you to his naked body in a blissful post-coital haze, fingers aimlessly stroking your hair. "There were far too many comments today that had me fuming, it physically hurt me to hold back my tongue. Those immature, disrespectful--" He let out a sigh, chest muscles tensing under your touch telling you he was getting worked up over just the memory of how you were undoubtedly the topic of immature locker room chatter. What with your flowy little outfit earlier today and the hickeys your boyfriend so generously placed throughout your neck last night and early this morning.

"I'll make a note to cover up a little more tomorrow," you murmured, absentmindedly tracing the curls of his chest hairs with your fingertips, silently stewing in your own irrational jealous annoyance because of the comments so carelessly thrown his way. "Sorry, sweetie."

"Why are you apologizing for their disrespect, goddess?"

"Force of habit," you sighed. "And I know it gets to you that these guys are just flat out disgusting because they think they can be, so if I can ease that a bit I can just--"

"I don't want you to prioritize anyone's comfort but your own, and they'll make those comments even if you're wearing sweats. What ticked me off wasn't that your clothes made them let out those revolting comments, but that they said those things and I couldn't say anything to get them to stop. That the subject of their sexual daydreams was already unavailable because--"

"Because I'm yours," you finished for him, placing a soft kiss on the mark on his shoulder from your wakeup call shenanigans this morning that became quite prominent. "And that same subject of their stupid little daydreams gave you that."

He tilted your chin upwards, pressing his lips to yours and letting out a sound of contentment when you let him deepen the kiss and his tongue began to gently tangle with yours. "Yes you did, sweetheart," he mumbled against your lips, stealing another kiss as he wrapped his free arm around you to pull you on top of him, pressing your chests together. "I didn't like having to bite my tongue when they were being so vile about you, talking about how you were probably a hellcat followed by bitter retorts of you probably being a lousy lay. They shouldn't be so bold to talk about you. They're unworthy to even be saying your name let alone thinking such lewd thoughts that should only be mine."

"Then tell them exactly that," you told him, kissing along his jawline until you felt the tension in him start to subside. "We said we would keep things private, not secret. And if our privacy comes at a price that one of us isn't willing to pay anymore, then we start making it…less private." You began to smirk against his skin when you heard the most minute whimpers once you started kissing his neck. "Besides, just because we're not super quiet about it doesn't mean we're suddenly gonna start fucking in the middle of the field because I for one do not want to have to wash the grass off of me," you finished with a little giggle, letting out a squeal when his hands grasped your waist and began to maneuver you again, sliding you easily down his body until your hips were nearly aligned with his.

"Sometimes I'm convinced there's still sand on me from Ibiza," he chuckled, playfully nipping at your shoulder when you started laughing along. The memory played in your head so vividly of the day you made a mental note that while 'sex on the beach' made for a naughty bucket list item and the occasional indulgent drink, it wasn't meant to be more than that.

"Impossible," you murmured, letting out a soft moan when your lips met his again in a delicate kiss. "We've checked. More than twice. It's been years." You both laughed into your kiss, the sound quickly turning into breathy moans when you felt him lining himself up at your entrance. "Again?" you asked him breathlessly, fighting back the urge to make a quip about his stamina knowing full well that if you did, you'd be feeling the consequences of that comment until well after the match was done on Sunday.

"You should know by now that I'm nowhere near finished with you for--"

Knock knock knock

"What in the world--We didn't order anything!" Tom called out toward the direction of the door, the lust quickly returning to his expression as if you two were never interrupted to begin with when he turned back to face you, his hands moving your hips so that they started rolling against his and making you delirious for him again. "Now, before we were so rudely interrupted--"

Knock knock knock

"Fucking dammit," you hissed out, your voice dropping an octave into your more 'boss lady domineering' tone and making you feel the tip of his length twitching against you in response. "Really?"

"You know the effect you have on me, goddess. After all this time are you honestly surprised?" he quipped back, nipping at your skin again as he started to move you again, only this time it was on to your side of the bed. No doubt so he could make himself somewhat decent and address whoever was on the other side of the door.

That was until you heard the person in question speak.

"Mr. Hiddleston? It's uhm…I'm from staff and I was wondering if you needed anything from me—I mean us before we all locked up for the night?"

"Fucking hell, it's Brynne," you spat out, the dislike even more pronounced when you said her name. "The fuck is she doing here?"

"And does committee staff really go door to door asking if players need anything or…?" he trailed off, hand immediately wrapping around yours when you sat up from the bed, your shoulders squared as if you were readying yourself for a face off.

"We had no more duties for the night. And I was the one that locked up. Hours ago." Your blood began to boil when her words from this morning about 'shooting her shot' came barreling back to you. "This bitch is here to try her chances with you. Again," you seethed, the gesture of his thumb stroking the back of your hand doing nothing to soothe you.

"Answer the door, then, my love."

His words broke through your raging thoughts, your gaze finding his like you were looking for confirmation that you understood exactly what he was saying. "You're sure?"

He brought your hand to his lips, kissing your knuckles as he kept your gaze with those unfairly beautiful eyes like there was a star that paid rent just behind them. "You're clearly distressed with how brazen she's become. Don't get me wrong, I adore how insatiable we get when either of us becomes a touch possessive." He scooted a bit closer to you, eyebrows scrunching together in a second's irritation when Brynne started talking again outside, wrapping his arm around you and pressing a line of delicate kisses from your shoulder across your collarbone. "But your prolonged discomfort is too high a price to pay for our privacy. I refuse to endure you paying it for the rest of this week."

"You're sure you want this?" you choked out, whimpering against his lips when he sought yours out. You mentally smacked yourself for even asking it. You knew exactly where he stood when it came to your relationship. His words from a few years ago echoed tauntingly in your head.

I know you're not ready yet, but I want you to know that I am. I've always been.

"Completely," he murmured against your lips, pressing one last kiss before stepping off the bed and starting to make his way to the closet. "I'll get you a robe--What are you up to, sweetheart?"

He began to smirk as you shook your head, standing from the bed yourself and walking over to his discarded jersey on the floor. "Yeah, no…fuck that. If we're painting a picture, I'm making sure she doesn't have any room for misinterpretation," you told him with a cheeky little wink as you slipped the jersey over your head, indulging yourself of the view of your boyfriend walking into the bathroom without a stitch of clothing on him before you answered the door to a visibly irritated and bewildered Brynne.

"Mister Hi--Oh, Y/N. I'm so sorry, I must've gotten the wrong room." She plastered on a wide smile as her gaze nearly felt like nails on a board the second she clocked Tom's jersey looking like an oversized t-shirt dress on you.

"Well hey Brynne," you greeted her with an equally fake wide smile, taking note of the lacy navy blue silk camisole and shorts she was wearing. "You look all dolled up. Are you looking for someone?"

She started to pull at the hem of her shorts, suddenly seemingly self-conscious at how scantily dressed she really was. "Uhh…yeah. I could've sworn this was Player 6's room, but I must've remembered wrong do you rem--"

"No no, you're in the right place," you answered simply, practically seeing the gears turning in her head as she put the bigger picture together. Come on you're so close. Figure it out and get the fuck out of here, you sneered in your head.

Her expression quickly became haughty, looking like a kid that just caught their classmate stealing the answer key to a major test. "And what exactly would your boyfriend have to say about you being here? Wearing Hiddleston's jersey and probably nothing else? Or maybe…he's on your list and now your boyfriend that you claimed earlier today you were so happy and in love with is back in your room trying to pretend that he's okay with--"

Maybe not close enough. "Wow, your brain must be extra smooth," you scoffed, cutting her off again. "You really wanna know what my boyfriend would think? Why don't we go ask him." You turned away from her to call out in the direction of the bathroom. "Hey sweetie, you know I'm wearing your jersey, right?"

"Hold on, he's--"

Tom's answer, echoed by the bathroom tiles, stopped her words short. "Yes and it's an outright crime that you're not letting me see you wearing my jersey. So if you could please do away with our visitor, that would be great, my love."

You turned back to face your visitor who was now visibly seething at you, her face contorted into an expression of pure indignation. "You can go now," you told her as calmly as you could manage, clearing your throat and letting your voice drop an octave lower before you continued. "There's nothing you could offer him that he couldn't get from me."

The second she stepped back from the doorway, you closed the door on her, not even giving her a chance to let out a snarky comment in return. That didn't stop her from yelling out in the hallway, however. "He'll get tired of you! You don't deserve him, you snobby little bitch!"

Much as you tried to let the words just roll off your back like you'd done for the better part of the last decade, on nights like this they still stung. They still got to you. Just thinking about how easy it was before to have a relationship slip through your fingers over someone just like Brynne that so audaciously made her way to your then boyfriend's hotel room while he was on a business trip.

The half-hour sobbing phone call where he managed to blubber up a guilt trip of how you shouldn't "just throw away a year long relationship over something that meant nothing".

"You think I don't know that?" you mumbled, deadpanned, trying to block out her sardonic yelling muffled by the door.

You'd gotten so lost in your unwelcome trip down memory lane to your time before Tom that you didn't hear your boyfriend's footsteps padding toward you until his hands gently grasped your shoulders, coaxing you to turn and face him.

"It seems she refuses to receive the message that she's not welcome," he commented, looking intently at your expression and gauging where your thoughts were. "Y/N?" When he called your name, you tried to shake all the haunting memories from your head, giving him a bright smile. "Don't do that, sweetheart. Don't wear your mask around me." He shook his head at you, framing your face with his hands before kissing your fake smile away.

"I can't not hear her," you admitted. You could actually feel your ears straining from your efforts to block out her bitterness from the other side of the door.

The feel of Tom pressing tender kisses to your temple had you letting out the breath you realized you were holding, feeling as if he was lifting away a weight at your chest. "Just focus on me, goddess. Her words mean nothing to us." He kissed his way down to your lips, murmuring against your skin, "If she insists on trying to make us listen to her childish remarks, then it's only right for us to return the favor."

He wrapped his arm around your waist to pull you flush against him, holding you steady when your knees went weak as he licked into your mouth. You felt his smirk when you let out a muffled moan from him tracing along the roof of your mouth. You could barely gasp out any words when he pulled away. "What--"

"If she won't leave then she'll simply have to stay out there and hear us." He moved you until you felt your back against the door, his fingers skimming the sides of your body over his shirt. "Hear how much I love you…" He pressed a trail of soft kisses down the side of your face and along your jawline, just like you had minutes earlier. "How devoted I am to you…"

He proceeded to suck another bruise into a spot behind your ear, nipping at your skin when you let out an indecent moan that you were sure was heard by your neighboring rooms. You vaguely wondered if it was loud enough that you two were practically goading someone to call security with a noise complaint against you, but as you felt Tom's lips latch on to the base of your throat and proceed to give it the same treatment, you realized that you honestly couldn't bring yourself to care that much.

"And most importantly," he mumbled as he kissed at a spot above your heart, wrapping his arms around you in a gentle yet firm embrace. "How no matter how hard anyone tries, there is no one that will ever succeed in taking me from you." He pressed his forehead to yours, brushing his nose across yours. "My body, my heart, they're yours, goddess. They've always been."

All the words you had stopped in a lump at the back of your throat. The only thing you could do was throw your arms around his neck and pull him into a kiss that you tried to pour your heart into. Words were never your forte. "I love you," you breathed out, letting out a little squeal when you felt his hands grasp the backs of your thighs to lift you into his arms and make you wrap your legs around him.

"And I love you." His lips never left yours as he leveraged you against the door, grinding his hips against yours while he slowly lifted the hem of his jersey up to your stomach, only pulling away when he playfully swatted your hands away when you made a motion to take the garment off. "No no, sweetheart. You know how I adore you in my clothes. The jersey stays on."

A/N: Aight it took me a while and honestly I've been on a slump the last few weeks but it's here and I hope y'all are still enjoying where I"m taking the story because…there's a reason I've turned this into an entire collection and lemme just tell you all right now: There's more coming from this couple 🥹🥹

Not right now though because I'm working on 'relinquish the crown' next. 😅🫡

everything taglist: @simplyholl @loopsisloops @imalovernotahater @coldnique @loz-3 @huntress-artemiss @salempoe @vickie5446 @athalialaufeyson @lokiprompts @kats72 @kikster606 @evelyn-kingsley @lokixryss @thomase1 @mischief2sarawr @peaches1958 @lovingchoices14 @lunarnights95 @goblingirlsarah @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @creationsbyme @maple-seed @mjsthrillernp @ladyofthestayingpower @mygfloki @sititran @glitterylokislut @ozymdias @fictive-sl0th @lokidbadguy @mochie85 @silverfire475 @joyful-enchantress @elizabethmidnight2017 @holdmytesseract @smolvenger @lokidokieokie @lunarnights95 @superficialdomina @gigglingtiggerv2

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

That Eden specifically called them “William’s friend” makes me think it’s a Windsor who has friends in common with William, which is probably more likely Frederick or Gabriella, than the Yorkies. But as far as I know, the Kent branch doesn’t leak…except it was the Kent branch of Windsors that Eden referenced by name when he was talking about the crowded balconies. I think it’s from that side of the family.

I agree. A royal watcher on Twitter was oddly furious about the balcony this year and complaining that the extended family were being “disrespected”, particularly the Kents. (They weren’t this worked up the previous two years.) They’ve previously claimed to be friends with some of the Kents and tend to lose their temper very quickly whenever someone brings up Lady Amelia liking that IG post about turning BP into a gift shop. Various weak excuses such as it wasn’t her account (there’s screenshots, it WAS her handle) or suggesting she didn’t read the post first.

I think the source is a more distant relative who has absolutely no chance of becoming a working royal, and thus no chance of getting back on the balcony if it stays this way. Even if W doesn’t currently intend to have any of his first cousins, I think they do realise that there is always a small chance for them as he doesn’t have any other siblings like Charles. This is likely someone whose PR plays heavily on their adjacency to the BRF (e.g. Amelia - “the most beautiful royal”).

I agree - it’s someone whose career is heavily connected to the BRF, like Amelia and/or her siblings. And really, they’re the only ones it could be, from my perspective.

Since this topic seems to be generating some excitement from anons (going by my asks, the top 3 options are Frederick Windsor, Princess Eugenie, and Amelia Windsor). Let's dig deeper into it!

The Mountbatten-Windsors branch:

Peter and Zara couldn't give two shits if they're on a balcony or not, and their kids are too young to know what kind of "marketability" they have career-wise or attention-wise for being connected to the royal family. Not only that, their kids are very close to William's kids. They're in a pretty safe position as far as access and privilege goes. It's definitely not them.

Harry and Meghan. Well, there's a lot we could say here, but we're not going to look that deeply at them. All I'll say about them is this: Eden is not one of their usual sources when they leak, so I'm skeptical it's them but Harry does (or did) have a lot of friends in common with William so that's the most plausible "William's friend" excuse to me. But the guys who are legit still friends with William know better than to leak, so it wouldn't be those friends (like a van Straubenzee, Grosvenor, van Cutsem, or Pelly). It would be someone with a tenuous connection to William - maybe a friend of a friend who knows Harry better.

Beatrice is also close with William and she has her own career going for her. Edo also has his own career and he seems to be pretty financially set that Beatrice, and their children, probably have a super comfortable life and don't need the BRF as much. It's not her.

Eugenie is still a big question mark. She seems loyal to the crown for now and while she does have a chip on her shoulder, she does know which side of her bread is buttered. She is also probably fully aware that leaking about William guarantees a ticket of no return to Excludedville and after getting the invite to the Cousins Garden Party after being on the outs for a couple years, I don't think she's going to risk being "in," so I don't think it's her.

Louise and James have been raised with the expectation that they won't be working royals, not even part-time the way Beatrice and Eugenie were back in the day, so it's definitely not them or their friend circle (who are much too young to have friends in common with William).

Anne and Tim don't talk to the press, and neither do Edward and Sophie, like this. Andrew and Sarah do talk to the press and have leaked about the main branch before, but I don't think this is them. They wouldn't be quoted as 'William's friend' but - BUT - Eden had an exclusive from Sarah a couple days ago (about whether she and Andrew would remarry) and this nugget could've come up then, from Sarah.

The Duke of Kent branch:

The Duke and Duchess of Kent have never leaked or spoken to reporters, so I'm fairly certain it's not them. Besides, they're probably too old-school to think about going against the heir, and they probably raised their children (the Earl of St. Andrews, Lady Helen Taylor, and Nicholas Windsor) to be more ordinary than royally-privileged.

The bios for the Earl of St. Andrews and his wife (the Kents' eldest child/first son) on Wikipedia read like they enjoy the professional privilege that comes from being connected to the BRF but don't seem to be flaunting it. It's not them. And I doubt that they have friends in common with William. Edward and Andrew, sure. Not William.

Their children - Lord Downpatrick, Lady Marina, and Lady Amelia - are precisely the people who grew up with social media and thus understand how the power, access, and privilege of the BRF can further their work. Lord Downpatrick has a pretty successful outdoorsy/adventure-based travel company; he doesn't need the BRF. There isn't a whole lot known about Marina, but we do know that Amelia had/has a modeling contract and works in fashion. Marina seems unlikely to leak (since there isn't much about her), but Amelia is definitely a contender as Eden's source because much of her career is based on aesthetics and lifestyle - which she needs the BRF for.

Lady Helen Taylor, her husband, and their children. There's absolutely no easily-findable information about their four children. Even though they're the same ages as the Earl's children, and they'd be fully aware of the BRF's power with social media, the fact that they don't have Wikipedias and aren't very easily googlable hint that they're probably not the source.

Nicholas Windsor, hs wife, and their three sons. Not them. The sons aren't in the line of succession (owing to their Catholic baptisms). They have no use for the BRF because they wouldn't have had any privileges anyway.

The Prince Michael of Kent branch:

Prince and Princess Michael have complained about royal privilege before, but they also know - and respect - their places. They also wouldn't call themselves "William's friend" and I'm very skeptical that they have friends in common with William.

Frederick and Gabriella probably grew up without any expectation of royal connections and both seem to be in steady careers. They seem pretty tight with many of the Mountbatten-Windsor cousins - Eugenie is godmother to Frederick's eldest (which is odd to me but whatever), Frederick and Peter probably played together, Frederick's kids are the same ages as George and Charlotte, Lady Gabriella rode in the ascot carriage with Anne and Peter, and Lady Gabriella has been deputized by William before. It's definitely not Lady Gabriella, and I feel pretty confident saying it's not Frederick, even though he and his wife have spoken about being members of the extended royal family before (all positive, mostly about the time when Sophie was seriously injured in an accident, and Charles sent his personal chef to prepare meals for them).

Frederick's kids are too young to know any difference about what it means being related to the royal family. I do think Frederick enjoys the privilege of being related to the royal family and what it means for his career, but I don't think he cares from a publicity standpoint. Sure, he might like to go out on the balcony, but the guy's a finance executive. He doesn't need the balcony to help with his career.

The Gloucester branch:

It's not them. We don't even know a whole lot about them. The Duke and Duchess have three kids (Earl of Ulster, Lady Davina, and Lady Rose) and there's not much known about them. They enjoy the social aspects of being in the extended family but they wouldn't have had any expectation of using the BRF for career or professional connections.

The Margaret branch:

David Armstrong-Jones, Earl of Snowdon and his kids: I feel pretty confident saying it isn't the Earl since he doesn't really speak much to the press (that I'm aware of). His kids are the ages where they would be fully aware of what the BRF magic can do for them but I'm not sure. They seem to have a healthy relationship with the Elizabeth/Charles branch and I don't think they'd do anything to risk that. However, that said, Lady Margarita (David's daughter) does do some modeling work and she has her own art brands. I still don't think it's her because she was in William's wedding and if there's anyone who can profit off the royal connection, it's going to be her because all she needs to do is flash those photographs. She wouldn't complain about the balcony.

Sarah Chatto and her sons. It's definitely not Sarah. She has a safe and stable connection to the BRF and she strikes me as someone who doesn't want the attention. Her sons are of the same age who'd have grown up and know what social media could do for them, but they're not really in careers where they need publicity or the lifestyle for success; Samuel is an artist and Arthur is in the military.

So all that said, the top candidates for being Eden's source (for me) are Sarah Ferguson, Harry, Amelia Windsor, and Margarita Armstrong-Jones.

Since:

Sarah doesn't need any help getting attention for her career (or lack of it)

Harry doesn't use Eden, and

Margarita has the royal wedding pictures,

that leaves Amelia Windsor, aka the Kent branch. Who is in a publicity-hungry career, who likes social media content that criticizes the royal family, and who probably has the sour grapes of not having had any access or claim to fame with the BRF other than sharing the last name.

Also, another nail in the "it's not Margaret's side" theory for me is the Christmas walk. David and Sarah, and their kids, are often at the Christmas Walk and everyone is often being named by the press. I don't recall the Kent Windsors being on the Christmas walks recently and receiving similar treatment - so that's probably more sour grapes for whoever's the leak.

Oh, I forgot. I'm too lazy to scroll back up.

The PB branch:

Well, we know Camilla talks and talks and talks. But would she characterize herself as "William's friend"? I think that's a bit of a stretch for her.

Tom PB or Laura Lopes: Possibly. They probably do have friends in common with William, but they've never had access to or privilege from the BRF before, not even after Charles and Camilla made it official. So why would they care? I could see them caring from their kids' perspectives, but they've been around the BRF long enough to know that the affiliation to the BRF gets their foot in the door but any more than that only invites scrutiny in and they probably don't want that for their kids, and I think their kids are too young to understand the significance.

So for me, all roads lead back to Kents: it's either Amelia or Frederick, but I lean more to it being Amelia than I do Frederick.

Yes, I'm procrastinating some work stuff this afternoon. Gee, how could y'all tell?

[sarcasticscribbles]

I made a curious cat and people been asking about my designs so I thought I would share it here too If you have any question too you can send it here or over on curious cat!

Under cut is a very long monologue about some design choices regarding my s1 gang, Gerry and some avatars!

S1: Jon, Martin, Sasha and Tim

Right off the bat I'll admit I had seen TMA fanart before, but I assumed it was a game from how consistent designs are (Jon and Martin); however when I started I avoided fanart (but I am not immune to TMA fanon designs). I'll explain S1 gang, they are my favourites. I find fcs helpful to keep them consistence.

Jon: I have a basic Jon design: short, brown man with long hair and glasses. Jon has a put together façade but, he wasn't qualified for the archivist position, and he doesn't know what he's doing. Therefore, I like him with longer hair he can't care for, therefore messy. It gets longer with the seasons and adding on all the marks he gains from the entities. I gave him half-moon, golden glasses with chains holding two eyes. I like to think it's a Beholding artefact, so Gertrude wore them before him. I used to have Dev Patel as a reference for him, but I've switched over to Riz Ahmed!

Martin: Very basic: fat man with fluffy hair and glasses. When I heard his voice, I thought of Harvey Guillén, who stayed a reference for Martin's body. I pictured him in a dorky attire; round glasses, ginger, comfy yet business appropriate clothing. I added eyes in the pattern of his jumper and added freckles. I've recently play around adding a beard, because I think he wants to look older than he is (re: CV; "I'm only 29!") but haven't found a style I like. I keep him fat throughout the series, instead of him losing weight s4.

Sasha: She has some canon traits: tall, long hair and glasses. I draw her hair up to stay out of her face. Contra Jon, I think she was more qualified for the archivist position, so Gertrude started preparing her for the role. She wears an eye necklace I draw Gertrude wearing that's in the same style as Jon's glasses. She has a matching bracelet with Tim and overall is one of my favourites. (notSasha): I took what was established and flipped it; short, short hair, no glasses. I imagine notthem could pass as cousins (since they still need traits to the victim's family?); no immediate resemblance but with a few traits of the original.

Tim: Canonically described as hot so I have my own bias. I started with general attractive traits: tall and fit. I think he puts a lot into his appearance. I use Keanu Reeves as a reference, and he works great for him. He’s a hair guy, gets it professionally cut and owns expensive products, skincare routine and dresses in fitted clothing. His standard is a shirt with an eye pattern. He takes pride in his appearance, so S2’s worm scars troubled him. He stops shaving to let it heal properly but they never go away. He never liked looking at them and they are a cruel reminder of the past (however, one scar splits his eyebrow to x2 bisexuality). S3 he stopped caring about putting in effort, the stubble grew into a beard and his clothes aren't fitted. He loses muscles, gains weight, and isn’t who he was in S1.

Gerard Keay

I had just assumed Eric was hispanic (for some reason) and then I connected that he's Gerry's dad, and apparently I headcanon him half hispanic lol

But it was why I wanted to draw the Mama family portrait to play with genetics. Letting his dad be rather tall, tan with dark curly hair and Mary be ginger with paler skin; Gerry's pale, ginger with curly hair as a child. He grew up looking like Mary and started altering his appearance to be more like his dad; dyed dark hair and taking some of Eric's clothing (I also gave both a beauty mark under their eye he'll highlight despite wearing make up). Alternative scenes and goths tend to straighten their hair but I let Gerry have naturally wavy to still resemble his dad more. I tried to give him trad goth make up, mainly looking at Siouxsie Sioux in the late 70s. And a fun bonus to have his hair often cover one eye because, The Eye

Gerry cared for his dad, even if he died when he was a toddler (if I remember correctly). Gerry's chosen name is the nickname Eric referred to him as, which is also where my trans headcanon comes in (afab). I haven't thought it out fully, or how that reflects on other characters since everyone else calls him Gerard but I think there's some symbolising there having a chosen name relating back to Eric

(some) Avatars

Oliver Banks: "the Egyptians believed the most significant thing you could do in your life was die,"; I take inspiration from Ancient Egypt for my Oliver design! He wears an Ankh around his neck, but I want to look into more about Egyptian death symbolism (he has a cross too, but I'll probably remove it for future designs). I've also taken some inspiration from Nordic mythology, with Hel (Hela In English? Loki's daughter (not Marvel) ) as half his face is beautiful, and the other is a corpse (skull). I don't wanna mix too many cultures just for the sake of it, but it was a really fun design decision. And he's goth. Bonus death aligned I next time I draw Georgie I'll draw inspiration from the Death's-head hawkmoth

The Distortions: Michael's 60s and Helen's 80s inspired, no reason, just vibes. I like to think of Michael as a spiral while Helen's a twist, if that makes sense, I've been meaning to draw them together to demonstrate, but I'll include a doodle of it

Jane Prentiss: I looked into a lot of paganism, and fell into a rabbit hole. She's described as a modern witch, so I wanted a subtle alternative look with a shaved side and gauges. One of her breasts are exposed because (boobs) in old pagan traditions a lot of rituals were performed nude, to be closer to nature. A lot of pagan art has a very strong feminine force, I want for Prentiss. She has one eye, but I'll probably remove the other too, I've seen a lot of people do for more holes

Nikola Orsinov: Drag king. Because we need more of those. I love drag so Nikola's has a mix of both male and female attributes since he's just trying to imitate a human. Their design is also inspired The Toy Soldier in the mechanisms (haven't listened? To it but a lot of people pointed me to that designing Nikola!) that's also her actor Jessica Law! I put all my gender into Nikola lol, and when I can sneak an IT reference in I will

Breekon and Hope: Wario and Waluigi

Annabelle Cane: She's described having web keeping her skull together, but for some reason I imagined it to be down her neck. So I pictured her head occasionally falling off and being restored by a web. So I gave her both lol. Her vintage style is old, goth Hollywood glam to me and I love looking at reference for her

Bonus Agnes: I haven't drawn her fully, but I wanna take inspiration from Scandinavian culture, think Midsommar (both the movie and the tradition) and maybe Norse paganism. I love Agnes story and how it's only told by other people, and her relationship with Gertrude is so interesting!

[gingiesworld]

Family Ties (5/?)

Natasha Romanoff x Werewolf Fem Reader

Warnings: Fluff. Angst

Taglist : @natashamaximoff-69 @canvascoloredin @wizardofstories @louxbloom @wandanats-goodgirl @natashasilverfox @the-ox-fan20 @upsidedowndanvers @purpleturtletragedy

18+ MINORS DNI

Nat was dreading the moment to tell Y/N about finding her family, her heart was constricted, especially knowing that the survivors have had to move around to survive. Before she could step inside the compound, Clint stopped her.

"Just think about this Nat." He told her. "I don't want to see you hurt."

"I know what I need to do." She told him as he gave her a sad look. "I can't be selfish with this. With her."

"Ok." He nodded before giving her hand a squeeze. "I'll be here if you need me." She nodded with a small smile before she headed inside, Clint on her heels. The two walked into an empty common room and kitchen, so the two headed towards the training room, watching as Steve and Y/N were racing as Wanda and Vision were training her powers.

"Nat?! Hey!" Y/N beamed as she saw the redhead by the door, running over to her with Steve on her heels.

"Hi, how has it been?" Nat questioned as Y/N looked at Steve and nodded.

"It's been great." Y/N told her, Nat took a shaky breath before she decided to not tell her what she knows. "How was the mission?" She questioned as Nat shook her head.

"It was a bust." She told them. "Just empty bases for someone else to clear."

"We did have an issue with Tony though." Steve informed her. "The altercation caused Y/N to have some sort of panic attack."

"I'm going to kill him." Nat growled as Steve shook his head.

"Wanda was ready to throw him through a wall." He told her as Y/N decided to use some weights.

"She's been training more?" She questioned as he nodded.

"She hasn't sparred, she's afraid to lose control if she does." He informed her. "But she has been running, weights and the bag too."

"What if we try her with some weapons?" Nat suggested as Steve shook his head.

"This isn't a permanent solution Nat." He told her as she nodded.

"Yeah." She sighed as she took a deep breath. "I am going to shower." She told him before she turned away to leave, Clint right by her.

"You never told them." He stated as she shook her head.

"I couldn't." She whispered. "I just, I don't know how to describe this feeling but it hurts when I think of never seeing her again."

"You know, I managed to nab this from the clan." He told her as he held an old book. "While they were too busy talking to you, I went snooping."

"It's a family tree." She stated as she looked through the pages. "There's birthdates and names." She pointed to one of the names. "What does it mean when there isn't a crescent mark beside a name?"

"Human." He told her as he pointed towards Y/N's parents. "Both of Y/N's parents are wolves which means that Y/N and her siblings are the last of the pureblood for this generation."

"So if they don't find any other wolves." She started.

"The ones that will be bred will be unpredictable on a full moon." He told her.

"That can be a huge problem." She told him. "But why would Hydra want Y/N?"

"Her eggs." He told her as the two ran to Fury's office.

"Hydra are trying to breed mutts." She whispered as she moved quickly.

As the days had passed, Fury had a team try to find the remaining Hydra bases as Nat remained silent on the fact that she had found the Selene clan. She listened with a heavy heart as Y/N rambled on about everything she had learned whilst Nat was away. The days soon turned to weeks as Nat kept the secret. Y/N turned to Nat one night as they lay side by side, unable to sleep as her feelings were getting the better of her.

"Nat." She whispered to the woman who lay facing the ceiling. "Can I tell you something?"

"Of course." Nat replied as she squeezed her eyes shut.

"I have been having these feelings for someone and I don't know what to do." She told her shyly.

"What type of feelings?" Nat questioned as Y/N turned to face her.

"Whenever I'm around her I get this fluttery sensation in my stomach." She started. "My mind runs wild and I can't think straight when I'm around her but I know she would never go for me."

"Well that would be her loss." Nat told her as she turned to meet Y/N's eyes. "Wanda is an idiot."

"It's not Wanda." Y/N told her as she sat up.

"You don't have to lie to me Y/N." Nat moved away from her. "She has been around you more, it's understandable that you like her. She is pretty after all."

"Nat, it isn't Wanda." Y/N gripped her wrist, making her face her once more. "I don't like her, she is more like a best friend." Y/N closed her eyes as she took a deep breath. "I feel all of that all of the times I am with you."

"You're not thinking clearly." Nat moved from her and stood up.

"This is the clearest I have been thinking in years." Y/N approached her. "I can't explain what I truly feel, the connection between us but I like you. A lot." Y/N reached for her hand, the bracelet glowing lightly in the moonlight. "That's. Where did you get that?" Y/N asked her.

"I can explain." Nat started as Y/N stepped away.

"You found them." She whispered as she looked into Nat's eyes. "You found them and never told me."

"I'm sorry." Nat tried as Y/N shook her head, grabbing clothes and packing a small bag. "I can explain." She tried as Y/N grabbed her shoes.

"No." She shook her head. "I have to go. Get out of here."

"Y/N, it's not safe." She tried as Y/N shook her head.

"I am angry, Nat, and when I am angry I can't control myself." She told her as she gripped Nat's arms. "I wouldn't forgive myself if I lost my control around you. I wouldn't live with myself if I hurt you." Nat stepped aside as Y/N moved away from here, watching as she disappeared down the hall. Her bag was still on the floor as Y/N made her way to the training room.

Sitting on the floor, her legs crossed as she worked on her breathing, something she had learned when she was locked up and helpless.

"Are you ok Y/N?" Vision spoke up as he sat beside Y/N, mirroring her position.

"I will be." She told him. "I am just doing something I taught myself when I could feel myself losing control."

"Why were you losing control?" He questioned as Y/N opened her eyes to look at him.

"Nat lied to me." She answered him. "Well, more like she had kept information from me about my family. She found them, my parents and the ones who survived, and she never told me." He just listened as she spoke. "She found them weeks ago and never told me."

"Did she give you a reason?" He questioned as Y/N shook her head.

"I had to leave before she could." Y/N told him. "I will give her a chance to explain, but I couldn't stay in there while I could hurt her."

"Would you like some company while you meditate?" He asked her as she smiled with a small nod.

The next day, Y/N returned to Nat's room, finding her sitting on the bed, biting her nails. Once the door had closed, Nat jumped up from the bed.

"Please just let me explain." She pleaded as Y/N gave her a small smile.

"Ok." She whispered as Nat took Y/N's hand.

"I wanted to tell you. I did but." She took a deep breath. "I think I am falling for you Y/N. I can't explain why it has happened but it has. I am in love with you and it physically hurts me when I am away from you. It's like you're the missing piece of my heart, like I am tied to you and there isn't any shaking the bond." Y/N smiled as she cupped Nat's face, looking into her green eyes.

"I guess I can stay here." Y/N whispered as Nat shook her head no.

"Your family needs you Y/N." She told her, her eyes burning with unshed tears.

"You are my family too Nat." She told her as Nat shook her head.

"We can find each other again." Nat told her. "If it's meant to be, we will be. Just not yet."

"Can I kiss you?" Y/N whispered as Nat nodded, their lips meeting in a gentle kiss, a kiss that sealed their destiny.

[yuseirra]

Kamiki's feelings towards Ai- an analysis

Chapter 154 was so interesting and it happened just as I imagined the way it would, actually. What I can't fully predict is what'd happen AFTER this- there are so many things left undisclosed and yet to be uncovered, too. But it's allowed me to think about a lot of things.

Today I wrote up an analysis of how I feel Kamiki's character could be and his feelings towards Ai.

I'd speculated on Ai's relationship with him before this chapter was out. I was pretty much on the right track in a general sense (and another analysis on Aqua and how he feels about kana, too.)This seems like the best time to break out how I think about how kamiki would have felt about her from his end- before it's actually going to be told.

(This full post was originally written in a different language and I asked chatgpt-4 to help translate it in bulk because it got so long..! wow, and it did a really great job. I guess I'll use THAT to translate now)

The last episode made it clear how the protagonist's parents ended up the way they did and the deep emotions they had for each other, so I have quite a bit to say about that. Psychology is an area of interest for me. To put it extremely, it's everything in my creations (though it would be embarrassing if I missed the mark after saying this) to the point where I'd go, 'if I can't even do this, I'd wonder what I'm good at...' In other words, it's the area where I'm most confident... I enjoy watching, analyzing, and understanding things. It's a topic I can talk about enthusiastically and endlessly if the opportunity arises.

As I mentioned in a previous post, understanding others' emotions, whether in reality or fiction, is a tricky part to pin down definitively, so I'm always hesitant to speak rashly about it. I keep thinking, "Maybe it's this?" but because I really dislike being wrong, I don't speak strongly about it. And I think how one "feels" something is too personal a realm.

Therefore, when a story confirms things through dialogue, flashbacks, or actions, I get very excited. It’s like, "Now I can talk about it!" That's how I brought this post forth today.

Getting to the point, this manga is very well-written when it comes to emotional aspects (the emotions and the persuasiveness of the situations that evoke those emotions) of well-crafted characters. In my opinion, characters like Ai, Aqua, and Kana are quite well-developed, and other characters, even in their personal episodes or specific points, have at least a desirable level of persuasiveness as needed. In most cases, at least. Some scenes left me a lil confused time to time still, but at most, the scenes written with a clear perspective often show and evoke strong emotions, which I consider a strength of this manga. Considering the author's previous work was a romance manga... I guess someone who comes from writing romance manga is built differently! (I haven't watched Kaguya-sama though).

As for Kamiki, his past was as I expected. Looking at the small hints that were sprinkled earlier, I didn't think it would turn out much different from what was actually depicted. Realistically, a child who became the father of twins at the age of 15 (a highly unusual age by modern standards) couldn't have been so calculating and meticulous in using Ai or intentionally manipulating them to have their children, no matter how crazy he was, even if considering the manga’s verisimilitude. Ai is a smart person. She might not have received a proper education compared to the average person due to her inability to fit into the social safety net, but I think her innate intelligence was quite good... For Ai, Kamiki was someone who could maintain a good relationship with her, with her being the older out of the two, even. Being the cautious and careful person she is. Ai's would have coolly cut ties and walked away rather than being used if there was a need to. So I always thought their relationship would have been genuine at some point, at least.

And looking at his past, as expected... (even if it’s a manga, the whole situation he was in was too dreadful...) looking at his personality, he was a gentle and pure child who was tossed around a lot when he was younger. If an 11-year-old child had a relationship with an adult, the adult is absolutely not a proper human being. There’s no room for another interpretation. Even if the child said "it was okay", there’s no room for leniency. It’s nonsense. Kamiki had been sexually abused from a very young age, so it was almost impossible for him to form a proper concept about it, and he was at a resignation to the things that were happening to him... Ai was the one person who got close to him and wanted to help him escape from that situation. But since Ai was only a middle schooler, she realistically had no power to do anything drastic... Both lacked proper guardians and had a deficiency in love, so when they were fully exposed to an environment where outward attractiveness was heavily utilized, they had no means to protect themselves. The best they could do was create a mask to show others and keep convincing themselves that they were okay with it... They were drawn to each other because they shared that similarity and understood that part of each other. I liked that these two were set as peers around the same aga because, especially for young children, age difference has a significant impact on social experience and individual standing. It's better to have a similar age if they are to have an equal relationship. Adults should be with adults, and children should be with children. Their worlds are different, and even a completely insignificant adult can easily exploit and manipulate a child. I believe that relationships should be with people who share a similar perspective and have similar emotional resources to offer each other.

The scene where Ai goes to Airi and calls her just a sex offender might be exaggerated, but if we say exaggerated... it means there was some face-to-face interaction and that Ai helped Kamiki separate from Airi. Ai probably wanted to do what was depicted in the movie. In reality, you have to deal with the aftermath, and it probably didn’t go smoothly like the adult just backing off or listening to a teenager. However, Ai’s actions had some effect in helping Kamiki get away from Airi to some extent, leading to a period where they officially dated. During this time, Kamiki must have truly loved and been happy with Ai. The adults around didn’t know about the situation, and they never helped Kamiki. The one who listened, understood, and shared the troubling and dreadful situation that Kamiki had grown accustomed to for years was Ai.

For Kamiki, there was only Ai.

When Airi blackmailed and gaslit him into despair, Kamiki’s thoughts were to turn to Ai for help because there was only Ai for him. Ai was indeed everything to Kamiki, supporting and pulling him out of tough situations. Ai was like a light in his life. They already had mutual affection, so it wasn’t surprising.

Meeting someone who truly understands, accepts, and loves you is extremely precious and significant. The statement that he sincerely loved Ai is true because there was truly no one else in the world for him to love. He led a very isolated life.

I won't delve deeply into Ai’s analysis here since I covered that last time. But the statement that Ai wanted to shoulder everything together and share a future with kamiki was absoultely genuine. Then why did he leave and say such heartless things that would break Kamiki’s heart?

That'd be because having a child meant more responsibility for Kamiki, and Ai thought Kamiki couldn't handle it. So Ai decided to leave to lessen Kamiki’s burden, thinking that would be less painful for him than staying together. Ai probably felt that no matter what, Kamiki wouldn't break up with her unless she said something really harsh. Kamiki's mindset at that time, as shown in his thoughts, was that it was just the two of them against the world, and they could bear any pressure together. That feeling is understandable. So pitiable, really. Ai, however, also wasn’t someone who was very mentally healthy. I'm sure she wanted to help him, but her ways of "helping" wasn't and couldn't be so ideal because she too was only a child. Additionally, I feel Ai was quite conscious of being a year older, wanting to take care of the struggling Kamiki (Ai seems to have a maternal instinct despite not receiving such care herself). She wanted to share Kamiki’s burdens but couldn't share her own dark and difficult parts because she felt Kamiki was too fragile. So, to unburden Kamiki, she left with very harsh and definitive words, thinking Kamiki would be better off without her and their children. Hearing such harsh words, Kamiki immediately thought, "Oh... I am the problem," and understood why Ai left, hence couldn’t hold her back. Ultimately, he ended up believing that even Ai couldn’t love and accept him, which led to Kamiki’s self-deprecation, thinking he was the problem all along. After realizing she had clung to Ai, he thought, "Ai didn't love me, she was there because she just couldn't avoid me being too pure and innocent"

However, his love for Ai wouldn’t have disappeared just like that. Ai was too significant for Kamiki. He loved her to the extent that he felt he heard his whole world collapsed from the breakup.

When Kamiki was near the hospital during Ai's delivery, I don’t think he intended to harm Ai. Why would he harm the person he truly loved who was having his children? He was probably heartbroken for a while after Ai’s breakup with him and, upon hearing about Ai’s health issues on the news, worriedly searched for her until he found about the hospital she was admitted to. On the day the children were born, it could be that he couldn’t approach Ai due to him being self-conscious about Ai’s refusal. He just nervously lingered nearby, and that's when he could have encountered Ryosuke, who was stalking Ai. I might be interpreting too favorably...

When Kamiki learned that Ai was going to give birth, even though Ai had said she wouldn't, he was probably surprised but not resentful. He might have been confused and curious about why she decided to have the children, but upon seeing the newborns from afar, he likely felt overwhelmed with emotion, thinking they were his children.

Perhaps he even thought it would have been nice if they could have been a family together. Though Ai intended to show the children to Kamiki for the first time when they were around four, I suspect Kamiki had been concerned and affectionate about them even before that.

If they had kept in touch intermittently and Ai had sent pictures of the children, things might not have become so extreme. Regardless, I believe Kamiki felt affection for their children. Though Taiki was a trauma for him...

The phone call scene should be shown from Kamiki's perspective once. Having kept a distant watch over Ai and the children, he would have felt internal familiarity and gladness, thinking, "Could we meet again?" After being firmly rejected, he might have made bad decisions. It's hard to know how much of what he said regarding Ryosuke is true, but the idea that Kamiki wanted to kill Ai? If that were true, the more detailed confession (that it wasn’t intentional) would not have come out when Aqua had pushed for it. He said that he was the one that clung to her and killed her and tried to leave it at that at first. Kamiki’s willingness to accept lifelong infamy for his actions, by his own child, implies something different. What he's said after he was inquired further by Aqua seems more truthful than what was initially told. There's probably more to this because it still seems illogical and weird to some extent, but we have to remember he was okay with being perceived at being solely responsible Ai's murderer to Aqua in Ch 153, but his detailed explanations that may not have been even told tells to be a bit different from that. That means he probably feels guilty enough to blame himself entirely for what's happened.

Kamiki advising Aqua and Ruby aligns with my interpretation of his character. These actions seem sincere. Given his affection for Ai, he may feel some warmth towards their children, as he once referred to Ruby as "our" children. He's also been able to see through how Aqua is in a very accurate sense, he seems to have watched him intently. Hence, when Aqua approached him, he expressed his feelings honestly.

To Aqua, he says stuff like "you might find me detestable, but I was glad to talk like this with you", and he gives some advice to Ruby too in a pretty kind way, actually. These actions are likely genuine. It's only natural to find the children, who resemble themselves and their loved one, adorable. Just as Ai told the twins, while dying, that she was glad to have given birth to the children, I think Kamiki, even if they didn't love the children as much as they do for Ai, would at least be happy about their existence. I believe Kamiki would have kept a distant watch over them all along. It's just that he couldn't approach them. As I mentioned before, if he really is a god or possesses some powers, he, along with Ai, who's become a star, might have been supporting the children together in their own respective ways. Though the children were not born intentionally, they were still born out of love.

I got it right, didn't I? In my post about Ai, I wrote that Kamiki might have wanted to take responsibility for the children, but Ai could've had hid and left to avoid burdening him. When Kamiki heard about the pregnancy, he immediately proposed marriage, didn't he? If they had been in their early twenties, they might have really been able to get together. They might have raised the children well as a young couple, finding them quite adorable. If they had become parents at a more typical age, they wouldn't have been incapable of raising the children. In fact, Ai contacted him when the children were about four years old, and she was twenty. She couldn't reunite with Kamiki because of her thriving idol career and the potential scandal.

From Ai's perspective!! If she had hoped for and imagined raising their children together, it means she believed Kamiki would take good care of them, and she was probably right. Also, Ai's idea of happiness included this. Ai, when you look closer, was inexperienced due to her youth but still loved the children in her own way and had a maternal instinct. Talking to Ryosuke to distract him when the door chain wasn't on and he could have invaded and harmed the children was a wise choice.

Haha, speaking of that, maybe because I fell asleep thinking about this manga, I had a terrifying dream last night. I was threatened by a crazy person with a razor blade in a large shopping mall, walking with them like a hostage. I kept talking to avoid being killed, seized the blade, and ran for my life. I got in a car, thinking I was safe, but people were fleeing in panic. The person had more than one blade and started swinging it when their hostage escaped. I felt guilty. I'm so glad it was just a dream.

It's my first time having such a dream. Even though it's not real, experiencing it in a dream makes me respect Ai's response. She managed to calm and turn away Ryosuke, protecting the children. Ai is smart and thoughtful. Her ways of speech to induce not getting back together was really blunt and hurtful not not exactly the best in terms of the emotions it could bring forth, but understandable. Her character is often lacking in emotional responses but sharp in thinking. Between the two, Kamiki is the more emotional one, but Ai was more mature in their relationship. Still, Ai loved Kamiki to the point of wishing he would rely on her and wanting to be his support and that says a lot. That was her way of loving.

Back to Kamiki, what are his current feelings about Ai? He still loves her and was once(and even now) is willing to give everything for her. His feelings for Ai were genuinely deep. Even when he resigned himself to believing Ai never loved him, he was willing to be avenged by Aqua if that's what she wanted. This wasn't a lie. He wouldn't lie to his children. His parental feelings are also genuine.

But there's something more. Kamiki has something in common with Aqua. There's something vast that he carries without revealing everything. After breaking up with Ai, he might have done a lot of wrong things, but his base nature actually seems to be on the timid side, even gentle. He couldn't properly communicate with Ai when she decided to break up all of a sudden, and just let her go, indicating his mild nature. For someone like him to take extreme actions, something extreme must have happened. Ai's death would be such a trigger. If he were to act extremely, it would be related to Ai. He lived a life of being pushed around, with little attachment to himself, being saved by Ai and deeply wanting to be with her. Ai caused him pain but was also his savior. For Kamiki, Ai was his reason for living.

When I saw the lyrics of "Fatal," I immediately had a huge hunch. The psychological state reflected in the song perfectly matches Kamiki's feelings towards Ai. It's very blind and desperate, with what he's originally had twisted negatively. The narrator of the song keeps trying to give and do something, feeling it's still not enough. This song fills in the gaps in Kamiki's character that were hinted at but not explicitly described. The narrator couldn't be anyone but Kamiki.

I understood why Kamiki came to love Ai so deeply through the flashbacks. Given their backgrounds, it made sense that he would love Ai immensely. So when I heard the song and read the lyrics, I immediately felt it was right. Do you think my analysis will be way off?

It seems like Ai and Kamiki's story draws motifs from Japanese mythology. One motif comes from the gods of entertainment, Ame-no-Uzume and Sarutahiko (in terms of abilities), and the other from the couple Izanagi and Izanami (with Amaterasu—she has something to do with Ruby-, Tsukuyomi, Susanoo—the sea god—Aqua). In the myth, Izanagi tries to bring back Izanami, who died giving birth, from the underworld but ultimately fails to revive her.

This narrative aligns with the first season's ending song "Mephisto" and the second season's opening "Fatal," which are about wanting to save someone and meet them again. So far, all efforts have been in vain, and the songs mention continuously offering something. If these songs reflect Kamiki's feelings, then Kamiki must still love Ai and desperately wish for her to come back to life. This seems very likely.

The concept of the "stage" is also mentioned in both songs. The protagonist struggles on stage, which won't let them go. They don't actually want to live that way, but their only purpose for enduring it is to reunite with their loved one. These songs seem like spoilers, hinting at future developments. Otherwise, why would such lyrics appear? It feels like there's a stage set by the gods, and the characters are trapped within it.

The first season's ending is titled "Mephisto," referring to a demon who grants wishes in exchange for one's soul.

Whether it's Aqua, Kamiki, or both, there's clearly a deal involving risking their existence or life to see Ai again. But it can't be Aqua because he was told by the Tsukuyomi girl that Ai could no longer reincarnate. Aqua's goal would be to fulfill Ai's wishes, not to meet her again. However, the songs' themes are clearly different from that. Something is up.

There are definitely suspicious gaps in Kamiki's actions, but thinking this way brings consistency to his sparse psychological reveals. One way or another, this character is obsessed with Ai, and Ai wants to help him.

When he realizes that the person he loved loved him back, he should be either sad or happy. But there's a reason for his shock (which is, also natural, but he's in utter shock). It might be that he's in a state where he cannot be saved.

When this character asked Ai for help as a child, Ai sincerely wanted to help but couldn't do enough alone. So, she wanted to help him along with their children. Comparing now to then, he might have walked into a much deeper pit on his own, for Ai's sake. Depending on the extent of what he did, he might end up still being unforgivable.. or maybe he might not have actually committed something as serious as it's been hinted and have a chance to be actually brought back to happiness But I can't envision a future where Kamiki lives happily for now. His life has been too miserable, so unfortunate.. and it's probably really messed up at this point too, so sacrificing himself for his children and following Ai might be his happy ending. Ai wants to see him, so it could be most happy if she came to take him with her. Considering the scenes shown so far, it's unclear if he deserves a happy ending. But anyhow, there's likely some special circumstance the guy's in that's going to bring a new light about his character

That's it. I had to talk about it all before the next episode comes up! If I'm wrong, well, that's that! But it was so fun analyzing him~