#i think i’m so fucking funny but it’s not it’s corny as shit

[laketoriver]

me seeing barney boo bear 🤯🤤

[champagnefountains]

LUCIFER MAGNE – H.H

CHAPTER III (Finale) - Prompt: Lucifer continuing to wear his wedding ring despite being in a relationship with you.

Previous chapters: I [x], II [x] Word count: 2.6k+ words (unedited) Genre/other tags: Angst with comfort. Good ending. Jealousy. Warnings: Cursing (of course). Gets a little bit heated towards the end, but nothing too explicit. Alastor being an asshole.

Much to your surprise, you found yourself enjoying Alastor’s company. When he wasn’t being the maddening person that he can be, he was actually quite pleasant to be around. After grabbing the items that Charlie had requested (which had all been teleported back to the hotel), Alastor convinced you to have a leisurely stroll around the outskirts of town. There, he introduced you to the many places he frequented, from the small, homey cafe he would always go to, to even the butchers where he purchases his premium meats. All the while, you tried to ignore the looks that you got from the surrounding residents – a mixture of fear and distaste were sent towards the radio-demon, whilst others stared at you in question, wondering who you may be and what you were doing with the Overlord. 

Even though you weren’t in the mood to chat, Alastor was more than happy to fill in the silence, sharing a couple stories and cracking corny jokes here and there, which you had to admit were pretty funny. After an exhausting week, it made you realise how nice it was to actually smile and laugh again.

After a couple hours, you both made your way back to the hotel. All the while, Alastor had been recounting a narrative from his times in the living world which had taken a particularly hilarious turn, causing you both to chuckle aloud. You wiped the amused tear that escaped your eye as Alastor pushed through the front doors of the establishment. 

“Oh, fuck no!” A familiar voice shouted from the distance, startling and causing you to flinch on the spot. Swiftly turning your head to the source of the ruckus, you were dumbfounded to see Lucifer himself, stomping his way towards your direction with a vexed expression. Behind him, you saw a distressed Charlie staggering towards him as Vaggie followed suit.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, you asshole!?” Lucifer growled, getting up close and personal with Alastor, whilst poking an accusatory finger against his chest. Before you could’ve reacted, you were then pulled back by the deer-demon, who draped an arm around your shoulders.

“Now, now, why the sudden hostility? I was only taking my darling [Name] out for a much needed breath of fresh air!” Alastor chimes, feigning innocence and batting his lashes. “I took it upon myself to look after her wellbeing. We’ve all been so worried since she’s just been so, so dispirited and blue lately…and I’m sure you know why that is, your highness.” The backhanded comment caused you to swiftly peer up at the Overlord, baffled by the harshness of his remark. But as you observe his ever-growing grin, it only then struck you, the sole purpose behind his kind display towards you. 

Meanwhile, it had Lucifer fuming. Literally. “Why you little, piece of shit–” The King then grabbed Alastor by his dress-shirt, the fabric scorching under his touch, “who the fuck do you think you are, talking to me like that?” Seeing the growing tension between the two men, Charlie immediately stepped forward. “Dad, stop it,” she sternly said, grabbing his wrist in warning. Lucifer was quick to shake the girl’s hand off, tightening his grip on Alastor’s shirt, “No, Charlie, I need to put this pompous asshole back in his place! It seems he doesn’t know basic courtesy, and how to keep out of other people’s business.”

Alastor chortles mockingly in response. “Oh, hoh? You speak of courtesy? I believe you should take your own advice, your highness, as you seem to lack consideration to those around you,” he pushed even further, all the while peering down at you from the corner of his eyes. Lucifer follows his line of sight, his eyes landing on the troubled expression etched on your face. His gaze softened for a brief moment, before hardening once more as he fixed his attention back to the Overlord.

“You better shut that damn trap of yours if you know what’s good for you,” Lucifer warns deeply. “Now, I’m merely sticking up for a dear pal of mine. So tell me, what exactly is so wrong about that?” Alastor shoots back, harshly flicking the man’s hand away. Tutting, he patted down his now-tattered suit, an eye twitching in mild annoyance. 

“It is when you decide to overstep boundaries.” With a blink of an eye, Lucifer’s scleras suddenly switched over to a red hue, sending you into sudden caution. Alastor’s grin turned almost sinister at the challenging tone. “Perhaps it’s necessary to do so. After all, dear [Name] over here had a pleasant time. There was no harm done.”

The King gritted his teeth, his horns threatening to reveal themselves, “Oh, but that’s what you think. ‘Cause someone will be harmed if you decide to keep this shit up–”

“Lucifer, stop.” Almost instantaneously, the King’s fumes were extinguished as he turned his gaze towards you. He felt shame fill him to the core at the sight of your disappointed expression, glaring at him in disapproval. Baffled, he opened his mouth to speak, “[Name], I–” 

“Don’t,” you sternly intervene, raising a hand to silence him. You then send a critical glance back at Alastor, forcibly pushing his arm off of you, “And you. I don’t know what the hell you were thinking of, pulling a stunt like this and using my vulnerability for your sick entertainment, but I expect you to apologise to Charlie and everyone else here for causing all this ruckus.” You ignored the way the radio-demon’s eyes rolled as you pushed through, stepping forward to grab Lucifer by the wrist, before dragging him along towards the staircase leading to your rooms. In doing so, you offer an apologetic look to your friends as you pass by the bar, who nodded back in silent understanding and awe.

The walk towards your shared room was painfully silent as the both of you dreaded the upcoming confrontation. As the number of your shared room came into view, you let go of Lucifer to wordlessly invite yourself inside. The King followed suit with hesitant steps, shutting the door behind him with a soft click. Rubbing his arms self-consciously, his downcast eyes trailed up to you. You had plopped yourself down on the furthest side of the bed across the room, your back facing towards him and posture slumped over. Lucifer let out a shaky breath. 

“...[Name], darling. I’m sorry,” he starts softly, nervously squeezing his hands into fists, “I shouldn’t have let him get under my skin. It was–It was childish of me. I didn’t mean to upset you–“

“Y’know, you’ve got some nerve acting the way you did…” you suddenly cut in, voice surprisingly faint but filled with melancholy, “...acting all resentful and jealous towards Alastor–who mind you, was actually just taking me out for a walk–when you yourself still seem to be preoccupied with your ex.” Lucifer grimaced at the venom laced in your tone. Ouch. Though it was deserving, he dejectedly thinks to himself. 

“[Name], please, I-I can explain everything. I didn’t mean for tonight to go the way it did,” Lucifer pleaded whilst staring at the back of your head. He didn’t know whether his sincerity was effectively making its way through to you.

“Then what were you planning?” You say sharply, your voice raising a bit, “I…Lucifer, just please tell me what’s going on. Just tell me the truth.” Your eyes started to blur as a sob threatened to escape your throat. “Because I’m tired of this. I-I’m so tired of feeling so insecure, confused and lost, and I...I-I don’t even know what you want from me anymore.” You hang your head down low, hugging yourself tightly as the tears begin to pour out uncontrollably, “If…if you’re planning on breaking up with me, just go ahead and say it! I-I don't want to be waddling 'round like some–some idiot, waiting for you to–”

“No. Wha–[Name], no. Don’t even go there.” Lucifer said incredulously, immediately marching towards your side of the bed. He kneels down in front of you, reaching out to grab at your shaking hands. “That’s not why I’m here, okay? It’s not even remotely close to what I have to say. So please get that idea out of your head,” he reaffirms, while rubbing his thumbs against your hands in a reassuring manner. You decided to keep your gaze down, having no strength to look Lucifer in the eye, knowing fully well that you’d break even more if you were to do so. Your tiny gasps and hiccups were what filled the room, tearing the King’s heart bit by bit, with every second that passed. With no words spoken on your behalf, Lucifer took this as a cue to continue. 

“[Name]…I’m sorry for upsetting you. That’s the last thing I ever wanted to do. I-I know I’ve got a lot of baggage, and I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for making you carry that burden with me. I…I did a lot of thinking during our time apart, and it made me realise how much of a fool I was–of how blind I was to what was in front of me. I took for granted your love and kindness. I-It wasn’t fair to you, and you didn’t deserve that. I-I truly didn't know what I was thinking, continuing to wear that ring. I came to terms and knew deep down for so long, even before we got together, that there wasn’t a possibility that Lilith and I would ever get together again. And yes, I do love Lilith. She’s been with me since the beginning of time and for most of eternity, and is the mother of my only child. Perhaps it was the memories that we shared that kept me hanging on for so long, I thought. She didn’t do anything wrong by me either…we just…sort of grew apart after a while. I-I don’t know why, but regardless…it hurt a lot. And even despite her absence now, I still do love her.” 

At that, you felt your heart drop to your stomach. His words were like a harsh punch to the gut. It was nauseating, and the room felt like it was caving in on you. Devastated, you attempted to pull yourself away to leave the room, but was forced to still as Lucifer reached up to cup a hand over your dampened cheek. He gently tugs your face upward, his eyes softening and staring deep into your crestfallen, reddened ones. 

“But darling, it’s not the same anymore. It’s different now. And it’s because you changed that. Yes, Lilith will continue to be an important person in my life, there’s no doubt about it. But…it’s you, darling. I choose you. You mended and opened up my heart when I was a hundred-percent certain that I couldn’t for another soul again. Each second and moment I spent with you made me become so hopeful and excited for the future and whatever lies ahead of us. Alongside Charlie, you've made me the happiest I’ve ever been in so, so long. And it’s you who fortunately gave me a second chance in this life. I'm so grateful for you, and words can’t even express how much you mean to me. A-And I’m sorry it took a while for me to realise that, and for hurting you in the process.” Eyes closing, he leans in to press his forehead against yours.

“And yes, it might take a bit more time to put this all behind me, and I-I apologise. But…I’m finally ready to take that leap with you. My heart is yours for the taking–as long as you’ll have me, that is. And I-I don’t expect you to forgive me now–I wouldn’t even forgive myself either. But, if it’s space that you want and need, I’ll respect that. But just know that I love you. And I’m sorry if I made it seem that I don’t, or don’t  show it enough. But believe me…I love you. I love you so damn much.” 

The sincere confession left you speechless, feeling yourself practically melt into his hands like pudding. A sensation akin to relief crashed over you like a wave, finally hearing the words that you longed for, for over a week. With a broken sigh, you cupped a hand over his own, leaning in to bask in his touch. Your breath then hitched at the realisation that he had taken off his wedding ring, no longer feeling the cold metal against your skin – it was only his warmth alone that welcomed you. Your chest suddenly felt immensely full, overwhelmed by his love and affection, but also by the guilt that came for your previous words and actions that night. Your furrowed your brows, your tears clouding your vision once more,  “Luci, I…I’m so sorry. I-I’m sorry for pushing you too much. I was being too selfish a-and I didn’t even stop to think about how you felt. I-I should’ve been more understanding and–” 

Lucifer was quick to hush you, wiping your tears and shaking his head. “Darling, no. There’s no need for you to apologise, okay? You didn’t do anything wrong. I was the one in the wrong. And if anything, I needed that push.” He then leans in to press a lingering smooch on your forehead, “But I truly mean it when I say it, though. I do really love you. Being without you these past few days drove me insane–it’s crazy how much of an effect you have on me.” He tearfully chuckles. 

A smile made its way up to your quivering lips, a blush dusting your cheeks from the sweet remark, “I love you too, Luci.”  

Despite the wide grin that erupted on his face, it was humbled down by a tentative guise. “...Are we going to be okay?” He quietly asks, his eyes peering up at you in a hopeful manner. Your eyes softened at his uncertainty. Sniffling, you reach out and pull him into a hug, your face huddled into the crook of his neck. Lucifer was quick to return the gesture, holding you close and breathing in your comforting scent. Mumbling a response into his neck, you say something incomprehensible, causing the man to chuckle softly into your hair. “Come on. Use your words, love,” he teased against your ear. You giggled, all the while nodding your head, “Y-Yeah…we’ll be okay.” 

At that, Lucifer gently slowly pulled away, before leaning in to close the distance between you, pressing his lips against yours. The King inhaled your whimpers as the kiss grew increasingly sensual and near-desperate, his hands beginning to wander down your waist. Lucifer then stood up from the ground, your lips remaining connected as he pushed you flat against the bed. Straddling your hips between his legs, his lips began to trail down your neck, biting and pecking at your feverish skin, all the while dragging his hands up your sides to pin your hands beside either side of your head. "Luci, please," you whined, feeling his sharp teeth graze above your pulse. He slowly made his way back up to meet you once more, pushing his tongue inside your mouth.

Eventually, the both of you unwillingly parted for air, foreheads pressed together as you both took a brief moment to catch your breath. You both stared at each other lovingly, basking in each others' presence. “You’re perfect for me, my angel,” Lucifer whispers, softly pecking both your cheeks, your nose, then at your lips, “never forget that.” 

It was clear that the both of you had some work to do, there was no question about that. He wasn’t as perfect as he made out to be, but neither were you. But since you have each other’s company, and with your newfound reconnection, you both knew that things will eventually turn out okay. 

A/N: And that brings us to the very end! Thank you for reading and all the support you've shown for this mini-series! I'll now be focusing on requests~

[jazzsonly]

instagram one shot — jenna ortega x gn!singer!reader (implied fem!reader but no pronouns used)

y/n_y/l/n: couldn’t ask for a better present

3.9 million likes

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200k comments

user85: happy bday y/n!!

fanpage: ik the sex was fire on thier trip

↳ userO1: ????

user856: would do anything to be apart of their relationship 🙏🏾

jackchampion: 3rd wheeled 🙄

↳ jennaortega: you literally begged us to

user34: all these baecations but no new album 🤔😒

jennaortega: happy bday <3 you deserved this trip.

↳ y/n_y/l/n: what’d i do to deserve the most caring girlfriend

masonthegooding: actually my biological parents if anyone was wondering

jasminsavoy: love the gay vibes keep it up

devyn_nekoda: happy bday to the no. 1 jenna ortega fan everyone

↳ y/n_y/l/n: i was actually promoted to leader of the fan club

kehlani: corny ass caption

↳ y/n_y/l/n: and to think i just wrote a song for you ☹️😒

click to load more comments….

y/n_y/l/n: being this short should be illegal wtf smurf head ah

3.9 million likes

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200k comments

masongooding: freshly baked cookies and raw steak wow 😫 my dream dinner

↳ y/n_y/l/n: you got man boobs i’d be quiet if i were you

jennaortega: 😐

↳ y/n_y/l/n: 🫠 love ya

jasminsavoy: no need for violence now…even if it is true

aaliyahortega: LMAOOOOOO

justinbieber: 😂😂

user85: ah to be in love like this

fanpage: this is weird and insulting…jenna deserves better

↳ y/n_y/l/n: smh you’re right, she should be with you instead (suck my nuts)

melissabarreram: can’t sit around and let my sister get disrespected like this

↳ jack_quaid: lol

zendaya: and i thought i was a hater

↳ y/n_y/l/n: you are…

click to load more comments….

y/n_y/l/n: i’m so fine no wonder jenna ortega be laying that thang on me like i mean she be putting it DOWN

3.9 million likes

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200k comments

aaliyahortega: mom seen this lolllll

jennaortega: delete this ??

↳ y/n_y/l/n: when beyoncé said dance for you i ain’t know you was gonna take that to heart you did ya thang last night baby 😏😏😏

↳ natalieortega1: y/n please call me…

↳ y/n_y/l/n: yes ma’am

user85: if she ain’t like this ion want her

thestallion: iktr 😂😂

kehlani: head ah post

↳ y/n_y/l/n: always talking but never releasing music…get ya priorities straight

↳ kehlani: and who called me last night asking for help on a song?

masongooding: 😃 great post bud! very educational!

screammovies: ghostface has some questions…

melissabarreram: ?

reneerapp: conceited as always smh

↳ y/n_y/l/n: confident**

fanpage: want what they have 🥲

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y/n_y/l/n: got that dog in me

3.9 million likes

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200k comments

masongooding: bro take this shit off

↳ y/n_y/l/n: i’ll have you know jenna’s mom brought me this shirt therefore i will NEVER EVER take it off

jennaortega: that’s a bear…

↳ y/n_y/l/n: fuck around and find out 😒

justinbieber: swag swag swag

zendaya: stylin

↳ y/n_y/l/n: better than you

jasminsavoy: why is my face on your shirt?

arianagrande: met gala look book

sza: need that shirt

natalieortega1: looks good! 👍😁

↳ y/n_y/l/n: maaaa 🤍🤍

user113: this is who i stan…and i’ve accepted that

user558: always posting on ig but never in that studio 🤔

fanpage124: does anyone else think y/n tries to hard to be funny and relatable? like we get it 😂😂 you’re cool okay

↳ y/n_y/l/n: you’re broke we get it cool okay

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y/n_y/l/n: last few days

3.9 million likes

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200k comments

user113: new music? 👀

jennaortega: best cabin trip ever

masongooding: hey i was there too? where’s my pics?

↳ y/n_y/l/n: you’re my side piece yk i can’t be posting you everywhere

jackchampion: cute

↳ y/n_y/l/n: no, you!😫

aaliyahortega: she can’t play the guitar for shit

↳ jennaortega: hater

user558: literally the best celebrity couple no one can convince me otherwise

kehlani: new song so fire 🤫

rennerapp: vocals are👩‍🍳 💋

jasminsavoy: so honored to be featured on this album

↳ y/n_y/l/n: my homegirl 🤍

user114: GUYS ITS HAPPENING!!!!!

fanpage: LET’s GOOOOOOOOOO

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[blue-slxt]

Imagine petite!human reader literally being used as a living fleshlight😩

Like she’s so small she can just be lifted off the ground and pounded🥴

Honestly don’t even care who it’s written for feels like a Jake, lo’ak, or quaritch kinda senecio

Sincerely, a no where near petite girlie

Thank you so much for your patience. I've been working on like a million different things at the same time so I am so behind on requests. But I looove this idea. Something about just being manhandled however your partner wants you to be is so fucking aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhh😩! Anyways, I hope you enjoy this.

🔞Minors Do Not Interact🔞

Smut under the cut.

“Make sure you don’t break my bed with your big ass.” You playfully scold Lo’ak while pulling on your spaghetti strap shirt. He flops his entire body weight onto your bed making it creak. It was times like this when you really took note of just how big of a size difference there was between you. Of course, the Na’vi were much bigger than average humans already, but you were even on the small side for humans. Watching how his body can’t fit properly on your bed while you could be swallowed whole by your sheets and blankets never ceased to amaze you. He waves you off with a ‘yeah, yeah’ while he makes himself comfortable putting his hands under his head. You roll your eyes at him and start to search through all the DVDs you have for something for you two to watch.

“What are you in the mood for this time? Something funny? Romantic? Dramatic?” you fire off the different genres as you toss aside disc after disc.

“Hmm…” he dramatically hums thinking about his answer.

You don’t bother to look at him while he mulls it over and you continue searching. You faintly comprehend the sound of him shuffling and moving around behind you, but you pay it no mind until a pair of big hands find their way on your small frame. Lo’ak’s lips brush lightly over the back of your neck and it almost tickles when he speaks.

“I think I’m in the mood for something sexy” he presses kisses onto your neck and shoulder.

“You are so corny” you say with a laugh, but you still lean into his touch anyway.

“Just put on whatever. I’d rather watch you anyway.” His low voice in your ear makes your nerves come alive with this intense fluttering all over your body. His impatience is rubbing off on you so you hurriedly throw whatever you can reach into the player without really bothering to look at what it is. Once the movie starts playing, you turn around to face Lo’ak and he immediately swipes you up off the floor and your legs lock around his waist while he presses his lips to yours. Holding onto him like this gives you the perfect feel of his cock straining against his tewng and poking you right between your legs. Clearly, he can feel it too from how his hands hold your hips and grind you down against him. Every move brushes against your covered clit and gives you small tingles of satisfaction, but it’s not enough. He’s got you so riled up now that you decide to have a little more fun and push his limits. On any given day, Lo’ak could, and would, fuck you until your body felt like jelly. But on occasion, he would lose himself and by the end, even your brain would feel numb and fuzzy filled with nothing but him possessing you completely. That’s exactly what you need right now.

Without warning, you unfold your legs from around him and let go completely dropping to your feet on the ground. His puzzled expression is nothing short of adorable.

“Shit, I just remembered that I have a report to finish” you say walking over to your computer desk and sitting down.

“Babe, you have got to be kidding me right now.” You were never one to deny Lo’ak what he asked for. Ever. Not even when you would join the clan for communal dinner and he would pull you off into the dark out of view of everyone else.

“It’s only going to take a few minutes, Lo.” You say sitting down and pulling your hair forward and exposing your neck. Lo’ak groans behind you. You know how much he loves when you present your neck for him to mark. He’s starting to catch on to your little game. If he wants it, he’s going to have to take it.

“If it’s only going to take a couple minutes, then do it after” he says pulling your chair away from your desk and over to the bed. He spins you around to face him and heat settles between your thighs at the way he’s eyeing you right now. “I need you, mamas.”

“You’re doing a whole lot of talking and yet, I’m still fully clothed” you say with a sly smirk.

He chuckles lowly to himself, “oh, you are asking for it.” In one swift motion, Lo’ak pulls you onto his lap by your waist. Your hands brace against his chest to keep yourself from flying forward. His face settles in the crook of your neck and he nips lightly at your skin making you jump.

“Now, am I going to have to rip these cute little shorts off of you or are you gonna behave and take them off yourself?”

“Don’t…I like these ones.” You whine.

“Then get rid of them. Right now.”

You shift yourself around so that you can maneuver out of your shorts while he pulls his tewng to the side to expose his thick, hard cock that was already leaking precum from the tip.

“Already so hard, love. Is that for m—”

“Don’t try to get cute with me” Lo’ak cuts you off by grabbing you by your waist and slamming you down onto his dick in one quick snap.

It feels like an electric shock is shot up your spine and goes straight to your head being immediately filled to the brim. He gives you no time to adjust before he’s fully lifting your body by your waist up and down on his cock.

“Ah! Fu-ck! Lo-ak!” Your words and breaths are broken from how he’s making you bounce on top of him.  

“Shit, your pussy is so fuckin perfect” he says through gritted teeth.

His big hands on your smaller frame completely take control of your movements and you have no choice but to let him have his way with you. His dick continues to bully its way into your tight cunt and kiss your cervix making your toes curl.

“Oh fuck, you’re gonna make me cum inside of you, mama. You want that, hm? Want me to fill you up?” his voice is lighthearted, but you can tell from the look in his eyes and his laser focus on you how close he really is and how badly he wants to give you everything.

“Yes, yes, yes, please Lo’ak!” your vision is already starting to spot as you near your own high while he keeps using you as his own personal fuck toy.

“Hng, shit!” he bucks his hips up to match the way he’s moving your body for you a few more times before the heat of his cum starts to fill you from the inside out. It sends you over the edge into your own orgasm and your pussy clamps down on him even tighter if that was even possible. Lo’ak sucks in a sharp breath feeling how tight you are around him and his forehead falls forward onto your chest waiting for you to stop milking him for all he’s worth.

His hands finally let go of your waist and they fall to sit on top of your thighs while you both try to catch your breath.

Suddenly the TV booms from across the room, “I am Bruce Almighty! My will be done!” making both of you snap your head in its direction.

“What the fuck movie did you put on?” Lo’ak laughs breathlessly.

“I have no fucking clue and I kind of don’t really care” you laugh equally out of breath. “But it looks like we still have some time before it’s over…” you lightly suggest.

He already knows what’s on your mind and a devilish smirk crosses his face.

[kissitbttr]

ANA! ANA MY LUV!! idk much about miguel (a travesty i knoeww) but i saw ur fratboy post n now i cant stop drooling at the idea of fratboy!miguel introducing u to his frat buddies!! being so possessive: holding ur waist or pulling u to his lap; kissing ur neck even when his friends are right there. oh my goddd im gonna sob hes so!!!

SUNNY?! I AM BITING MY FIST OMG HE’D SOOO FREAKING POSSESSIVE UGH I LOVE IT WHEN YOU ARE RIGHT

bby you HAVE to hop on the miguel simp train!! HE IS SO FINEEEE😩😩

-

it was around after the third date when miguel nervously asked you to come to the frat house to meet his brothers. he didn’t want to overwhelm you of course, he knew how annoying and pushy his brothers could be but still, he would love for them to get to know you just as he had when he was with you,

you saw how nervous he got, but you assured him by squeezing his hand and telling him that you were okay with that. he smiled in return, kissing you softly on the lips as a thank you,

“i never express any gratitude towards anyone in my life except my parents but i want to thank you so much for finally saying yes, it was fucking annoying to hear him yapping about you non-stop. all of us had enough of his corny shit”

one of his frat brothers, glen had mentioned. feigning a relief expression while he smirked at miguel who gave him the finger,

“i literally thanked Jesus when i heard him going on a date with you, y/n! you are our life savior”

miguel threw his head back in annoyance, groaning at how his frat brothers continued to spill his secrets. but you giggled instead, looking over at him who avoided your gaze out of pure embarrassment.

“what else did he do?”

miguel shot you a warning look, “don’t encourage them, muñeca! they’d go all the way out!”

“oh believe me, we have many” beck had answered, playfully snickering at the amount of times miguel had ranted about you. “which one do you want to hear? one where he talked about you while he was high? or one where it was late at night—“

“fuck off, kingsley!” miguel had interrupted before he got too far, in which beck put his hands up in defense.

miguel snaked his arm around your waist, giving your hip three taps to prompt you to sit on his lap which you obliged.

you happily plopped yourself down on one of his thick thighs. he helped you with shifting your body into a comfortable position with your legs crossed.

the rest of the boys sat in the living room, piling in the same area as they all stared at the two of you. millions of questions running through their minds, desperate to know if miguel somehow blackmailed you into agreeing to go out on a date with him or something worse,

miguel sensed the stares from his brothers and, to be frank, it was quite uncomfortable. though he knew for sure they wanted to know the same thing.

“are you guys wondering how i got to take her out or what?”

they all responded with a ‘yes’ in unison, making him rub his temple and you smiled

“so? what did he do, y/n? because i’m starting to think this is a joke”

“could be. i mean, carlos went all 110% for a girl when she rejected his offer the first time” glen shrugged, earning a frown from carlos himself,

“i did not—“

“yes you did. you stood outside of the campus library with a boombox over your head” one boy chimed in while sipping his beer,

“okay see, i was—“

“oh! and remember when he threatened to pull his—“

“shut the fuck up! focus! we’re not here for me but for them!” carlos gestured his hand at both miguel and you. “can we leave my shit behind? that would be great”

carlos's cheeks went beet red as the other guys teased him for it, beck patted him on the back and told him that it was nothing to be ashamed of but carlos only swatted his hand away,

you found it so endearing at how the frat guys were so playful and funny with each other. typical boys will be boys type of thing. they were definitely far more different than when you see them during parties,

“well to be honest, he really didn’t have to do anything” you simply replied, tucking a hair behind your ear. “but definitely persistent, in the most politest way and less creepier though”

“you saying what i did was creepy?” carlos pointed at himself with a defeated look,

“i mean, if you had to ask then yeah”

the rest erupted in a peal of loud laughter while carlos’s shoulders slouched. propping his back against the chair with his arms crossed, a chorus of ‘see?’ and ‘i told you so’s’ made you laugh,

miguel settled his elbow on the armrest, eyes glinted with adoration whilst his mouth stretched into a lovesick grin. he watched how you managed to pull joy out of them and there’s nothing he’s appreciated more than that,

the way you threw your head back as another cute giggle escaped you while holding onto his shoulder for balance was enough to make his heart ponder,

“man, you’ve got wicked sense of humor, y/n—say if shit went sideways between the two of you, just know I’m available”

miguel frowned upon hearing that as his nose scrunched up in disgust as he leapt the nearest pillow at his brother’s direction for that comment. he wrapped his arm around your waist far more protectively,

“watch it” he warned, glaring at him. he knew it was a joke but he still didn’t like how that sounded, “i’ll kick your fucking ass, monty”

upon seeing that, your hand moved to find his cheek, lightly tapping his chin with your finger to get him to look at you,

“easy there, big boy” your words soothed him in seconds, especially when he heard his favorite nickname leaving your mouth, "I'm with you"

the confirmation made him giddy and his heart blossomed,

he moved dangerously close to your ear to whisper before kissing the back of it making you giggle. “you look so pretty tonight, muñeca” miguel dragged his fingertips up and down your exposed thigh, then squeezed the soft flesh. “so so pretty— do i get to see you in this dress more often?”

the question came off too excited despite his best trying to hide it, again, if there was nobody around, he'd actually take you right there and then.

you smiled, wrapping your arms around his neck. “but I thought you like me better when i’m naked?”

“oh there’s no doubt about that, mi amor” he winked with a chuckle, “am i… about to get lucky tonight?”

“you might” a seductive response laced on your tone, winking at him as he squeezed your waist before

the boys let out a couple of groans and fake puking sounds at the sight, but the two of you remained still in your element,

''you guys make me sick" glen protested, shaking his head before getting up from the chair to walk away but you caught a small smile on his face,

"jealous you don't have a girlfriend, mayback?" miguel teased at him, glen only threw him the middle finger before cracking another can of beer from the kitchen,

the rest of the boys followed his actions after, not before congratulating miguel on scoring with you.

the word girlfriend made you bulldozed, eyes darted toward his smiling proud face before yours stretched into one as well,

"i'm your girlfriend?"

his smile faltered after he soon realized what he had just called you, he swallowed a nervous gulp. opening and closing his mouth because he was unsure what to say

you must admit you enjoyed seeing him like that.

"well i-i mean--i wasn't--surely you were--uh--what was the question again?"

you tucked your lower lip in between your teeth, head tilting to the side as the adorable man in front of you became a stuttering mess.

realizing that he is on the edge of a nervous breakdown, you leaned closer to his face before smashing your lips against his. his body went still by your action, but soon found himself lost in your kiss and sighed out of contentment,

you pulled away after a few seconds, tousling his soft chocolate hair before replying,

''i would love to be your girl, o'hara''

-

please please PLEASE tell me this is good!! i was writing this in the car and I couldn’t concentrate for a second because people were honking too much!! bhhshshs

[shiggyscumrag]

Thirst of my favorite Men

A/N: I want to write but I don’t know what to write about!!!!!!! I especially don’t feel like writing a whole fic…So I’m gonna make little thirsts for some of my fav characters!!! Ps. You should listen to Gang Baby by NLE Choppa while reading for peak experience ;)

Josh Washington

I imagine Josh would love when you run your nails down his back. Whether it’s the domestic cute shit where you rub his back with your nails while he lays in your lap. Or when your nails roughly dig into his back when he makes you feel a little too good. In turn he LOVES when you pull his hair and your nails scratch his scalp. The butterflies in his gut make his groans extra loud and needy.

THE DEFINITION “She told you she celibate but she told me I can nail her shit!” Imagine you finding out a clingy ex of yours reached out to Josh and he sent this back. Extra good head that night as appreciation.

I fear I’d love to fuck him in his serial killer fit. So imagine with me if you will, being his first “victim”. You get out of a freezing yet arguably refreshing shower to find your clothes there one sec then gone the next. Confused as fuck You peek into the hallway towel wrapped tight around your chest. You dash across the hall to your room. Well actually, it was Josh’s room that’d you’d both be sharing. Scanning the room you fail to see a masked figure peaking from inside the dressers cracked door. Suddenly you’re jumpscared by the stranger pouncing out of the dresser and pinning you to the ground. The scream you let out shreds your throat from the pure fear until it’s quickly cut off by his hand. Pulling the mask up once he felt you stop screaming you make out Josh’s face in the candlelight. Falling limp you play dead clutching your chest dramatically. Laughing from above you swat Josh’s hand from your mouth.

“Haha very funny.” Staring up at him he stands up letting you sit up against the bed.

“What you don’t like the mask?” His hand finds your chin lifting it slightly before finding a piece of hair to push it behind your ear. “Not even a little bit?”

“I think you could change my mind.” Standing up you pull at his flannel. “Maybe with less layers.”

Brett Hand

Brett is “a boy who’s jacked and kind” WET DREAM!!!!! He’s also the definition of “this boy doesn’t even know the difference between their, there and they are” “Yet he’s naked in my room”.

One way you can tease Brett is to play off his last name. “Brett Hand? More like Brett let me give you a hand!” As you gesture to jacking him off with his face as bright as a ripe tomato. Corny I know, but Brett himself is a cornball after all.

[rrenzwrld]

things everyone says in ‘secreto de amor’ that just makes sense

i have 19 chapters of that story written in my notes and…i just noted some quotes that i wrote that i thought was funny idk

this was just something random bc yall not gon know what’s going on💀but i will post them maybe

“don’t let your brother get you fucked up.” — connie

“i don’t even want you thinking she’s cute. think she’s ugly or something.” — jean

“it’s the way you actually don’t know how to mind your fucking business.” — jean

“to be aggressive with girls you don’t know?”

“especially if they’re pretty.” — connie

“i don’t wanna have to go to jail for some bitch boys on my day off.” — jean

“yeah, like he’s okay i just don’t know why he keep talking to me.” — you

“to be nosy. give us something to talk about.” — tia

“two weeks?? oh you’ll be dead before he gets back.” — tia

“so? older dick be the best dick.” — tia

“why did you leave me on the couch last night like i was some whore?” — connie

“you’re so nonchalant. like have you ever given a fuck in your entire life?” — connie

“you saying that like it’s a bad thing. his dick little or something?” — tia

“you’re so soft and quiet and he’s…he sells drugs.” — sasha

“there you go with that nonchalant shit. i swear, almost nothing moves you.” — connie

“you were probably overthinking, you look like a terrible overthinker.” — connie

“i dunno why sienna don’t just stay with anthony, they both hoes anyway.” — connie

“oh that’s mr. rocky. i think he has to pee.” — connie

“only if you brush your teeth so connie can get a kissy.” — connie

“you have pretty toes. can i put them in my mouth?” — connie

“shit fat, ma. lemme bite it.” — connie

“oh? i think we missing a couple chapters.” — you

“yeah. while you out here having babies n shit, i’m over here playing the old maid.” — you

“why you lock me in? tryna kidnap me?” — connie

“do i need to buss a cap in his ass for you? for you to forget about him and focus on me?” — connie

“damn…i thought you said you weren’t experienced.” — connie

“i’m not. i just like to read sometimes. — you

“it’s really always the quiet ones.” — connie

“i just ruined my bed because of you, what do you think?” — you

“i know you not new to this…whore.” — you

“mr. rocky is all yours. you made him feel really good.”— connie

“i thought you were half black, why are you so corny?”— you

[lovemeafterhrs]

one night only

you wanna ride for a lifetime, this is one night only.

gojo satoru x sorcerer! reader

part 2: make me stay

word count: 3k

MDNI!

warnings: porn with some plot, oral sex (f! receiving) in an empty classroom, gojo is majorly determined and it’s hot as fuck

listen along:

“jesus christ, satoru. you have got to stop doing that.” she sneered, obviously confused by his sudden presence in her empty classroom. he was supposed to be overseeing his students, not warping his way to her classroom instead. “what do you want?”

“you don’t even sound excited to see me. you’re breaking my heart here.” his white head of hair rested gently against the frame of the door, pressed against the wood as he sent her one of his signature bone-chilling smiles.

“is it that obvious that i don’t want you showing up at my doorstep, trying to take me home for the night?” her deadpan stare should’ve scared him off, but it only spurred him on more.

“oh, i wasn’t trying to take you anywhere. in fact, i’d like to stay right here.” gojo had always had a way with words, and if she didn’t know him so well she’d be shaking in her boots right now. to top it off, what he was insinuating was legitimately insane. sure, the students would all be busy for a number of hours, scattered through the forest at the tokyo campus. still, the idea alone made her cheeks burn in shame.

“i think that we should celebrate, as an act of goodwill between our schools.” satoru was trying not to break his cool and collected facade. it took everything not to crack a shit eating grin at his own words. even he thought the line was bordering on corny, but stupid shit kept pouring from his mouth as he stepped further into the room.

“oh, yeah? is that why you’re here, instead of in kyoto doing your job?” she looked remarkably unimpressed by his words, and she rose from her seat to lean against her desk instead. “what’s your angle here, satoru? you’re hardly useful to your students in this empty classroom with me.”

“oh, i’m just here to pitch my spectacular idea. i’ll be back before they even know i was gone.” his reply was lighthearted and playful, but something in his eyes told her that he wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

“besides, aren’t you supposed to be there, representing your beloved school? not a very good example to be setting as a teacher.” he added, and she rolled her eyes at him.

“first of all, in what universe would i ever take you up on your so-called ‘spectacular’ idea?” she looked over at him, and she didn’t miss the way his eyes raked over her form. “second, i’m no use to them there. someone has to guard the home front.” she motioned to the school around her with one of her fingers.

“i can see it in your eyes, and in the way you’ve been clenching your thighs since i got here.” his response made her pause, and her eyes widened the slightest bit. she’d forgotten how receptive he was to body language, able to pick up even the smallest detail. she was screwed. so entirely screwed.

“that doesn’t mean i’m going to sleep with you.” she quirked an eyebrow at him, and he stifled a chuckle. that didn’t discourage him in the slightest. he had no intention of letting this opportunity slip out of his grasp. he was so close to finally breaking open her cold demeanor, he could nearly taste it. he was practically buzzing with excitement at this point.

“oh, c’mon baby. it’s just one night.” he smirked, and took another step towards her startled form. it was kind of funny, actually. it wasn’t so often that he saw the sorcerer so spooked, more like a deer in headlights than a powerful and dangerous entity.

“i told you to stop calling me that.”

“you keep saying a lot of things, but i only listen half the time.” his eyes glinted at her, and she frowned at the sultry tone that left his lips. she wasn’t stupid. she knew exactly what was going on in that little pea brain of his.

“you didn’t show up to the party.” he gave her a look that resembled one of a kicked puppy, just for good measure. said ‘party’ was the annual sister-school goodwill event, which he knew she hated.

“i missed you.” he cooed, and she looked at him in disgust. his sentiments were true, to a point. he liked seeing her much more than utahime, that was for sure. he liked teasing her, and riling her up far too much for a work function. in fact, he had grown to look forward to it.

it was fun. and he was dreadfully bored.

he didn’t get to see her that often, leaving him like an addict awaiting his next fix. it was kind of pathetic, if you looked at it too closely. he wouldn’t admit that, though. not over his dead body.

to be completely honest, he’d been trying to weasel his way into her underwear for more years than he could count. at every event since they were sixteen years old, he’d been adamate to pester her to an annoying degree. the two had developed a sort of love-hate relationship. one that had always leaned more towards hate than love, though.

“no, the whole thing was going to be a shitshow. besides, i wanted to spare myself from exactly what you’re trying to do right now.” her glare was pointed, and her reply was only partially joking. she chose not to respond to the other half of his sentence.

he didn’t have the guts to actually do anything, right? they’d been playing the little cat and mouse game for years, and he hadn’t succeeded yet.

she wasn’t expecting anything different, and she should’ve known not to underestimate him.

“what do you mean?” he asked, his tone deceivingly innocent. she didn’t believe it for a second.

“oh, don’t give me that shit. you should see the look on your face right now.” her response was more than accurate, even satoru himself could see that. he was leaning against one of the student’s desks, lust pooling in his irises as he leaned towards her.

“be honest, it’s working isn’t it?” his eyes glimmered in the light that beamed in from the window, as he lacked the small black glasses he normally wore. he was staring again. “you kind of want to fuck me, don’t you?”

“shut your whore mouth, satoru. you know that this is a dead end. why don’t you go get your rocks off somewhere else? i know there’s plenty of girls who want a chance to fuck you.” she was trying her best to fend off his advances, but the entire situation had made her rather weak in the knees. he had always been irritatingly gorgeous, but she found that she was having a hard time keeping her eyes off him.

“ugh, but they’re not as fun as you are. aren’t half as bratty, either.” he took another step, inching closer with every flirty reply. he could nearly see the finish line now, and he found himself growing more bold.

“i just think you’re a masochist. you like when i reject you, and kick you out the door on your ass.” he laughed darkly at her words, and moved to stand in front of her. he was towering over her, eyes lidded as he took in the sight of her so flustered.

“baby i’ll take whatever you give me, but i’d like it more if you didn’t.” he was inching his way in between her legs, and placed his hands on the table behind her.

“in your dreams, lover boy.” she choked out, leaning back against the wood in an attempt to keep him at a distance. satoru seemingly had other plans.

“you know that love isn’t my style, gorgeous. i’m just offering to blow your mind, if you’d let me.” his words nearly made her jaw drop open, but she clenched it hard as she swallowed down whatever her body was feeling right now.

“you talk like you have the biggest dick in all of japan. are you able to back up any of the shit you spew?” she was growing irritated now. he had always been such a fucking tease. knowing him, he’d warp out of the room before he touched her at all. she silently started to wonder if he was all talk, or if he was finally being serious for once.

“i’ve been trying to prove that to you, baby. you just never give me the chance.” his breath felt hot over the shell of her ear as he whispered to her, and he curled a strand of her hair between his fingers. she opened her mouth to speak, and he tutted at her again. “c’mon, angel. i know you want to.”

she didn’t reply, only scoffing at his words. she turned her head away from him, but he pulled her eyes right back to his.

“you’re giving me that look again.” she whispered, and he held himself back from laughing and breaking the tension. of course he knew exactly what he was doing, but he couldn’t help but try to push his luck.

“i have no idea what you’re talking about.” he replied with a charming smile, before staring down at her lips rather blatantly. he was testing his limits, and praying she wouldn’t throw a chair at him for trying.

“you are such a bad liar.” she had tried to keep her tone flat and unbothered. she really did. however, it came out closer to a whine than anything. he felt electricity coursing through his veins, and he nuzzled his face into her neck. his hands came around her hips, and he held her close as he left a soft kiss on her clavicle.

it was out of character to be this gentle, especially for him. that thought was shot to shit when she felt his wet tongue running along the side of her neck.

“satoru..” she breathed out, her words hushed as she tried not to moan. “we really can’t do this, i’m seeing someone.”

“are you exclusive?” he asked, not even bothering to look her in the eyes as he kissed her neck again. jealousy laced his tone, barely hidden in between the lines of his words.

“no but-“ she started, but was immediately shot down by an annoyed groan from the white haired sorcerer. he paused his ministrations, and his fingers started rubbing small circles into her hip bone. she was planning on telling him she had a date that night, but the words died in her throat when he squeezed the flesh of her thighs.

“fuck your little boyfriend, then. he can have you when i’m done.” he was staring her down with his sapphire blue irises, almost like he was trying to put her under a spell or something. it made her want to kick and scream, but instead she just stood stagnant as if the world had stopped beneath her feet.

“you are such an asshole.” she replied, her tone dry. still, she hadn’t pulled away in the slightest. “fuck, fine. just this once.”

“just once?” satoru asked, looking more than a little disappointed.

“yeah, one night only. if you try to get in my pants again i’ll fucking kill you.” she threatened, but all hints of malice left her voice when he bit into the flesh of her neck.

“you can try, but you probably won’t succeed.” confidence dripped off his words as he leaned to close the distance between them.

kissing satoru gojo was far too intimate, considering the situation they currently found themselves in. he kissed her like he was going to eat her whole, and devour every single part of her existence. his long arms wrapped around her ass, pulling her flush to his hips as he leaned forward again. the look in his eyes was akin to that of a starving animal, salivating over the sight in front of him. the wood desk underneath her creaked under his weight, but he paid it no mind as his hands began to creep underneath her dress.

he was having the time of his life, honestly. he never thought he’d have the chance to paw at the skin of the girl he’d been praying he’d get forever. he relished in every breathy gasp that left her lips, and soaked up every ounce of attention she was giving him.

“been waiting to fuck you for years. so excited to taste you.” his weight shifted as he dropped to his knees, and pulled her dress above her hips. “gonna make you cum so hard you can’t walk tomorrow.”

“oh, my employers will love that.” she rolled her eyes, thinking of the grumpy old geezer she took orders from. he’d probably have a heart attack if he saw the sight of satoru dragging her panties down her legs in the empty classroom.

“an even better reason to do it, honestly. maybe i’ll take you with me to the principal’s office and we can fuck on the old man’s desk-“ his words got him a smack across the side of his head, and he chuckled under his breath.

“do you ever shut up?” she asked, and he replied in kind by licking a stripe across her folds. ever the tease, he was looking to drag this little show out as long as he possibly could.

“you’ve known me since you were sixteen, you know the answer to that question.” he chided, and bit into the skin of her inner thigh. he was surprised he had made it this far, if he was being honest with himself. but he was nothing if not determined. his head dove between her thighs yet again, hell bent on hearing her loud moans ringing through the empty hallways.

her hands carded through his white locks of hair as his tongue made it’s way to her clit. a chill ran down her spine, and her back arched against the hardwood of the table.

“oh, does that feel good?” his question was muffled against her skin as he looked up at her, cheeks still pressed against her plush thighs.

“s-stop looking at me like that.” she replied breathily, and he winked at her before diving back into her folds. one of his fingers began to run along her entrance, gathering her fluids in a rather obscene manner. he licked his fingers, and hummed in appreciation.

“so wet already..” he cooed, touching and rubbing her most sensitive places with a smirk across his face. “is this all for me?”

“satoru.. please stop talking.” she whined, writhing against his touch as she was already getting dangerously close to release. his teasing was unbearable, and his words were doing way too much to her way too quickly.

“hmm.. let me think about that for a sec.” he mumbled, his tongue resuming it’s exploration. “how about.. no. maybe i’ll change my mind if you cum all over my face.” he smiled innocently, staring up at her again with his pretty blue eyes like he hadn’t just spouted the dirtiest shit she’d ever heard. his head was still planted between her legs, and his hands squeezed around her thighs as he pushed her further into the wood of the desk. she’d probably be covered in bruises from the pressure tomorrow, but she was too focused on the stars that had started to form behind her eyelids.

he started to tease at her entrance, before dipping a finger inside. followed quickly by another. her walls squeezed around his fingers, and she gasped as they started to move at a steady pace. it was all too much, and she couldn’t bare to watch him eating her out like it was his last meal on earth. she let out a pitched moan when his fingers brushed over a particular spot inside of her, and her hips sputtered at the contact. she loved the way he sucked at her clit, hitting exactly where she needed him to.

he only added fuel to the fire by pounding his fingers into the spongy surface, and her eyes widened as she came suddenly without much warning. her thighs clamped around his head, and he rocked her hips along his face as she rode out her high. even after, he still hadn’t let up in the slightest. it was overwhelming, and he didn’t stop moving his tongue until she was begging him to stop. she was already overstimulated, but she needed more.

for the first time ever, she was legitimately thinking about letting him fuck her right then and there. his lips left her clit with a grotesque pop, a string of saliva dangling from his pretty mouth as he pulled himself back up to look at her.

“you taste so good, baby. i bet you feel even better..” he teased, biting at her neck between his words. he looked down, admiring the mess he’d made of her already. “god, you’re shaking. you’re just begging to get my dick inside of you.” he continued, and her cheeks darkened as she nodded along wordlessly.

“oh c’mon, baby. tell me what you want me to do to you. i know you can do it.” god, he really never stopped talking. even when he was rubbing his clothed erection against her, he still found a way to keep his end of the conversation going. she wanted to wipe that smirk clean off his face.

satoru looked entirely fucked out after he nearly sucked the life out of her, with his lips swollen and his cheeks flushed. he looked almost entirely out of breath, so desperate to finally be getting what he’d been dreaming about for years. he began fumbling for his belt when his phone began to ring, and he looked down at the caller ID with a frown.

“fuck, i gotta go. this isn’t over, though.” he pressed a kiss to her lips, sporting a rather impressive tent in his uniform pants. he gave her a halfhearted salute, and disappeared before she had the chance to argue.

“such a fucking tease.” she groaned, cheeks burning as she pulled her dress back down. there was no way she was getting any work done now.

“where the fuck were you, asshole? we’ve been looking for you for the last hour.” shoko glared at her friend, and after staring him down for a moment a look of realization washed over her features.

“oh. nevermind. i literally do not want to know.” shoko’s expression turned to disgust, and she walked away from him without another word. she left satoru by himself, and he hit his hand against the wall as soon as she was gone.

“so close.” he sighed, leaning his forehead against the cool surface. “i got sooooo fucking close.”

[richeeduvie]

Corny wanting but how would Roman and Lalo react if Baby/Princesa woke him up in the middle of the night because they had a nightmare.

Kinda can see Lalo teasing her first but eventually calming her down and getting her back to sleep.

Roman……Roman is the one that I’m not really sure about

Lalo's teasing the shit out of her.

"Stop laughing. Please."

"Ay, Princesa - I'm sorry." He's not. Not really, but he goes to cuddle her. To wrap his arms, strong and pulsing around her frame. Make his girl feel like she can't go anywhere. Cause it seems like she wants to squirm away from him, so embarrassed. But of course he was going to laugh, and of course she was going to wake him up, cause Princesa needs Lalo. "You're just funny. My funny girl-hey, stop trying to run away from me."

Princesa whines, but eventually slumps in Lalo's arms. "It was just...they haven't been that terrifying in awhile."

Lalo's smile comes down softly, his face in her neck.

"It's alright, Princesa. They're just dreams. And you've got no one here but me to protect you from that head of yours. You're all good, hm?"

"...I think so."

Lalo breathes her in, hugs her a little tighter - taking bits of air out of her. He'd take everything from Princesa if it meant that she could be with him here, just here forever. That'd be right for him.

He smooches Princesa's cheek.

"I think you know so, now let's get you back to sleep."

"Okay."

And so they do, or she does, at least.

"Lalo."

Lalo laughs against her skin instead.

"I'm sorry - you just know how to be cute, poking me awake. First time I was gonna sleep through the night too."

"I'm sorry!"

"Don't have to be sorry, Princesa. I'm just saying, the one thing you know is how to be needy. Why is that something to cry about?"

"It's not something to laugh about."

Lalo's smile drops quick. Princesa is tired, so she's grumpy. She mms when he pinches her shoulder.

"Go to bed before you get even more of an attitude."

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.

Roman's less...kind, to put it kindly.

"...You woke me up so what...I can eat you out?"

"Rome, I just need someone to sit with me. I've never had a dream like that."

"I'm gonna be fucking tired and pissy and you woke me up to wallow in the aftermath of your nightmare? Are we not gonna fuck?"

Baby's sitting crisscross-applesauce. She tilts her head and sighs softly. Roman rubs his eyes like a child as he sits up against the headboard.

"No love-making and you having a nightmare? Did you take something because this behavior is not you behavior."

"I think watching people get brutalized killed my libido for tonight. But...it was a lot."

Roman pffts. "Cause dead people with their meaty insides out definitely is the thing to kill it for you. We've roleplayed worse."

"You almost had a panic attack when I suggested bloodplay."

His eyes widen, then shrink to a glare - immediate defense and childish anger. "Because-that's fucking gross! It's keep people in a well and skin the bottom of their feet behavior! That's not hot! Not the right type of hot and it made me fucking concerned you were fucking Richard Ramirez behind my back."

"You and I were talking about trying new thing-"

"I meant like...a new strap-"

"I'm the one who had a terrifying night terror, Rome! Can you please just...comfort me?"

Roman blinks as the silence grows, as the ask becomes soft and small on Baby's face. He looks down to the blanket.

The way she asks beats at his chest like it hurts. It does. She's asked it like he's never comforted her before, like he's not good at it in general. He can. And he really doesn't want her to have dreams of dismembered people. He doesn't want her to become joyless, she needs to always be happy. The way he exists depends on how happy she is and how she's in the mood to love him. And not just him, he guess. Her job, and his family.

Roman presses his face into her shoulder, arm reaching across her chest to her bicep. He brings Baby down with force.

"Go to bed, people with axes can fuck off because I have you. You're supposed to feel better when I have you like this."

Baby blinks before she takes a moment to settle. She smiles, fingers pressing a curling touch onto Roman.

"Goodnight, Rome."

[szasfuckingwife]

Rockstar girlfriend x rockstar sanzu

DARLING

ROCKSTAR!SANZU x ROCKSTAR GIRLFRIEND! READER

WARNINGS: smoking, smut, insecure Sanzu, unhealthy drinking, miniature toxicity

a/n: THANK YOU for this request, I had fun making it. this is also heavily inspired by Nana (Nana and Ren’s relationship) i fucking love that anime. also, don’t bully me for the corny band name🤭

Rockstar!Sanzu who after a show crashes into the couch in his tour bus, lighting a small cigarette from his favourite brand, the one you put him on. With the overwhelming life whilst on tour, all he wants is to get back home to you. He loves his band, B0N10, and his fans, but nothing compares to you.

Rockstar!Sanzu that laughs when you become pissy about all the bras and panties thrown on stage. You swear you don’t care but him cackling at you makes you break out.

“Don’t laugh! It’s not funny.” You throw a pillow at him, scowling when he catches it with ease. Sanzu would plead and beg for you to forgive him but your cute face getting all furious humours him. He stands and walks over to you, holding your hands.

“Haru-” “Baby, I’m sorry I’m just so irresistible that they throw their underwear at me. Y’know what I think it is? The tongue piercing.” Before you walk away, Sanzu pulls you back, smirking at you. “If anything, they’re complimenting your good taste in men.”

“I would be flattered if they didn’t send letters to our apartment with their phone numbers, in hope that you’d call them.”

Rockstar!Sanzu that makes sure you’re safe when you guys are swarmed with paparazzi. He makes sure your hand is always intertwined with his and always leads you to the car.

“Sanzu, Is it true Y/N is pregnant?!”

“Y/N, does it make you feel worried that Sanzu’s bandmates often go clubbing with women?”

“Y/N, there are pictures of Sanzu meeting up with a girl outside a hotel, any comments about-”

Now, both of you know that those pictures were a hoax and probably made by a stupid journalist company. How? He’s was literally with you the night when those pictures went viral. And why would Sanzu cheat on you? He adores you.

But, he had enough and punched the reporter across the face. The rest of them gasped and cameras flashed rapidly, catching the sight of a shocked Y/N, a reporter on the ground and Sanzu with bloody knuckles.

After you finally make it in your car, Sanzu grumbles a quiet four letter word and begins to drive. “Zu, you didn’t have to do that…”

He shakes his head, “Can’t let these pricks embarrass you like that. And, I’m tired of these stupid fucking lies! I’d never.”

You stroke the back of his hand, sighing deeply, “I know, baby, I know.”

“Management’s gonna be up my ass about this shit.”

Rockstar!Sanzu who has you whimpering on your back after one of his sold out shows. You remember seeing him pour a bottle of water all over himself on stage, causing everyone to see the perfect outline of his abs. Right then, you wished he fucked you right on that stage.

Although not a stage, the hotel room sufficed. Your legs are wrapped around his waist as he bucks his hips into yours, the tip of his cock kissing your cervix. With every stroke, your moans grow louder as you get closer and closer to your climax. Sanzu is hungry on your neck, kissing and biting every inch of it, leaving no untouched space.

“You’re fucking tight, Y/N…” He grunts beside your ear. “Ya gonna let me cum inside you, hm?”

You’re too fucked out to form coherent words so you nod as he quickens his pace. Sanzu smirks at the black of your mascara running down your face, wiping your tears as he moans out a, “I’m fucking close, baby!”

You both cum together, but Sanzu doesn’t stop the rocking of his hips just yet. He continues until he feels like he’s done, and by done I mean on the verge of passing out. He collapses next to your body, pink hair sticking on to his sweaty forehead.

“You’re so pretty, Y/N..” He whispers as your eyes flutter close. You hear him moving around, preparing to clean you up. But, just then, you feel him lean close to your ear and whisper, “The prettiest..”

Rockstar!Sanzu who uses your moans in one of his songs on the album. It’s funny seeing his agency looking confused on where Sanzu obtained that recording. His bandmates look at you, chuckling as they remember the sleepless nights they had on tour due to you and Sanzu being in the next room. “I dunno, boss. I got it from a porn site.” He says, smirking at you.

Rockstar!Sanzu who even with your constant reminders, is still insecure. This isn’t an ideal life for anyone, especially when you’re dating a superstar. He wonders if there’s someone else, an escape from his life and a taste of normality. In response, he’d drink hours on end, trying to ignore those thoughts but they’d only remind him more. With the constant failure of trying to start a relationship with his family, you’re the one thing that has always been there. And hell if he loses you to some idiot who doesn’t know you like he does.

“Open the door, Haru.” You sit down, outside the door of the bathroom. In concern, his bandmates called you, explaining what had been going on and with no hesitation, you took the first flight down. “It’s me.”

He cradles his head in his hands as he reminds himself to confront his bandmates about this later. “I don’t want you to see me like this.”

“I’ve seen you drunk, high, happy, sad - you think I care?” You chuckled. He takes one deep breath before opening the door, facing you.

You smile up at him and he frowns at you with his tear stricken face. “Hey, gorgeous.” You bring your hand to stroke at his cheek and he leans into it. “I missed you.”

“I’ve missed you more than anything.”

You give him a second to take some deep breaths before speaking again, “Let’s talk, babe.”

Rockstar!Sanzu who dedicates songs to you when he knows you’re in the crowd. He doesn’t know exactly what seat your in, but he knows you’re there. And knowing that his favourite girl is in that crowd makes him happy.

“I don’t like getting sentimental. Especially in front of a sold out crowd!” Sanzu laughs into the mic as the sea of fans erupted. “But a very special person is here tonight and she deserves everyone to know that I love her.”

A swarm of ‘awws’ emits from the crowd as Sanzu’s cheeks get just as pink as his hair. “I won’t embarrass myself any longer but I love you, baby. I love you.”

And maybe you’ll get a bunch of crazy fangirls and boys tweeting everything under the sun to you or maybe you’ll be harassed by paparazzi whilst eating a gourmet meal, but as long as you’re doing it with your rockstar boyfriend, you don’t really mind.

[galaxycunt]

You’re A Part Of My Heart

2k words of me attempting fluff n smut so hope u like it!! @gayafsatan a tag as requested hehehe

It was a slow night, the kind where only the regulars in town filled the booths and tables. Pirate crews came and went, so when a colorful band of rowdy sailors filled the room with chatter, you paid no mind. You saw his flashy outfit first; bright orange hat with long blue hair brushing the shoulders of anyone close enough to the captain, long coat with dirty white fur, sparkly blue clown makeup.

There was no mistaking Captain Buggy with anyone else. You usually didn’t get pirates with a high bounty here, making you a little nervous. You didn’t show it, barely looking his direction until he approached you.

”Rum, top shelf.”

”You gonna chase that down with anything, man?”

He smiles, even with yellow teeth and all that greasepaint he was handsome. You didn’t make it a habit to sleep with every sailor passing through, they’d never leave you alone if you did, but you entertained the idea in your head this time.

”Maybe a drinking partner will make it go down smoother.”

Corny, fits the costume. You smile, watching him watch you set down two shot glasses.

“Fair winds, and following seas,” you say as you both knocked back a shot.

“Oh, you’re far too young to be some washed up sailor setting up in a bar.”

”Do only sailors know that one?” you shrug, leaving him to drink alone.

Your eyes always followed back to his, like he willed it. His always meeting yours. Glancing at the other customers, you decide to drink with Buggy again. At this point, his hat was off and so was his coat. Lingering on his form, the way his muscles flexed with his moments, you set course on your target tonight.

”I was.”

He furrowed his brows a moment, “what happened?”

”Too much death, who would’ve thought piracy wasn’t just drinking in the sun all day?”

He raises his glass to yours, clinking them together. His eyes were hard to read, no doubt thinking of his own loss, whoever it was.

“I was a captain too, not much different than running a bar actually.”

He laughs, another shot. He leaned forward this time, fingers brushing up against your hand.

“The bar and the ship share the same name?”

You wonder if being honest would be a turn off, “ah, no. It’s named after someone I knew. Sailing wasn’t the same, you know?”

Buggy stares at you for a beat, his gaze suddenly uncomfortable. You falter, turning to leave.

His hand grabs yours, “what’s your favorite drink?”

”I like sweet stuff.”

”Me too.”

You relax, seeing the man behind the pirate. You end up drinking with him most of the night, the patrons slowly trickling out of the bar and out of your mind. It’s only him you see, an island in the middle of the ocean. You talk about nothing important, what he saw on his travels, islands you been to.

”See that you got my wanted poster up there,” he points to his own smiling face.

”Keeps the marines outta my hair. You know,” you smile at how clever you are, “it’s a shot for every million. Tradition.”

He rests his cheek on your palm, “is that so?”

Your fingers tingle up your arm into your spine, “let me close up first. I got the good shit upstairs.”

Buggy doesn’t let you go far, trailing behind as your turn off the lights and lock the door. You feel a hand at your waist as you lead him up to your bed. You waste no time with him, capturing his lips with yours.

He tastes like rum, lipstick, and salt. His gloves feel cool against your warm skin, fingers running over every exposed inch. He’s rough with you, desperate to get you closer and closer. Teeth grazes your skin, nails dig in.

”Buggy,” you whisper, “fuck me baby.”

He moans, shoving you on to the mattress. You never seen someone take off clothes so quickly before, his eagerness makes you laugh.

”What’s so funny,” he grumbles before kissing you.

”Oh you know,” you say between kisses.

He stops abruptly, “what did you fucking say?”

”What? I’m saying nothing.”

”My nose, you’re making fun of me.”

He looks angry, ready to rip your throat out. You attempt to reach out to him, he slaps your hand away.

“Buggy, what’s wrong?”

”Oh it’s so funny huh? Get big nose all excited just to laugh at him. I’ll teach you-“

”-I wasn’t laughing at you, shithead.”

He scoffs, and you turn his chin to look at you. His face hides his hurt, except the eyes. You feel like you should kick him out, but something stops you. Buggy looks at you like he’s expecting it.

”Kiss me, Buggy.”

He does, cautiously this time. You move away to wiggle out of your clothes, Buggy helping along the way. His hands detach to your horror, pulling your shirt off your arms.

“Holy shit.”

He only winks, those same hands crawling around your body. It’s all happening too fast to comprehend. You can only think of what else he can do with those hands.

”Chop Chop Fruit.”

You laugh again, giving his cock a few pumps. He swallows, almost like he can’t believe this is happening with you. Kisses litter your chest before he bites down on a nipple, Buggy getting more aggressive with every little noise you make. Red lipstick marks your body with every bite, you tug his hair causing his eyes to roll back.

His tongue reaches your cunt, sliding between your folds easily. He eats you out like a starving man, nose pressing your clit. The pressure feels wonderful, holding onto his head for dear life.

“Buggy,” you beg.

“That’s it, baby. That’s it,” he murmurs into your thighs.

It’s all too much, you shove him off you with a smile on your face. Buggy wipes his mouth before kissing you, you knew you were going to have a hell of a time cleaning all this paint up later but right now you didn’t care.

“You want this cock? Yeah? You want me to fuck you?”

You nod as he spreads your legs apart, lining himself up. He was not gentle with you, and you loved it. Buggy thrusted hard and fast, babbling in your ear. He seemed to like it when you pulled his hair, or bit an earlobe. You were turning into putty in his hands, and him in yours.

Throwing your leg over his shoulder, he hit deeper and deeper. You felt like you were about to burst, Buggy close behind you.

He collapsed onto you, struggling to breathe. You kissed his head as you stroked his hair, eventually he stilled long enough you figured he was asleep. You decided you didn’t mind at all, wanting to stay with him as long as possible.

“This was nice,” he said suddenly.

You gave him a squeeze, “that mean you’re leaving then?”

He lifted his head, eyes intense, “are you asking me to leave?”

What was the harm?

“No, you can stay if you wanna.”

”Do you want me to?”

This shot at your heart, he was a sad little clown wasn’t he?

“I do. Wanna shower with me? We’re red and blue all over.”

He smiles so brightly you’re stupid enough to think too long on it. He’s handsy as expected, his skin burning hot as you kiss his body. You wash the rest of his makeup off, leaning into each other’s touch. He’s dreamy, maybe too dreamy.

”Squeaky clean, butter bean.”

He laughs, “you’re too cute.”

“I don’t have anything for you to sleep in, sorry.”

”Neither do you then,” he winks.

As you towel off, Buggy finger combs your damp hair. He can’t stop kissing you, touching you.

”You’re so beautiful, are you a siren?”

You laugh, and he smiles.

“See? Like a lullaby.”

“You say that to all the girls you bed?”

He shakes his head, “only girls like you, think you’re the first.”

Buggy fluffs up your pillows, turning off all the lights.

Settling into bed he says, “I’m sure you get plenty of handsome sailors saying that.”

”Nope. Just you.”

He throws an arm around you, spooning you. He’s soft, warm, maybe exactly what you needed right now. It had been so long since you let anyone stay in your bed, and he’s pleasant enough company.

Maybe it’s the way he finds a way to get closer even in his sleep, or way he looks in the moonlight, but you feel your chest caving in. You don’t want this man to leave, and you know he will. You shed a few silent tears, feeling sorry for yourself.

In the morning, he’s still there. You stir slightly, and he sleepily kisses your cheek.

“Hey.”

”Hey, baby.”

You search his face, looking for a sign that he feels the same about you. He shies away, burying his face into your neck. You struggle for words to say, scolding yourself for being mushy for a clown.

”So, when do you cast off?”

He groans, “shit. Sooner than later, was gonna leave today.”

“Oh that’s a shame,” you admit.

He looks surprised, “oh yeah? Where you uh, hoping for another around?”

You shrug, “something like that.”

It was a one night stand, no reason to admit feelings. Besides, if he was the kind of guy to tattoo crossbones on his face, a pirate's life was truly for him. He was never gonna make his way back here again.

“I’m gonna make some coffee, don’t get up.”

He smiles, like a boy with his first crush, you figure you’re imagining it. You feel your heart threatening to crawl out your mouth, you needed to get away from him.

It had been years since you opened your heart to anyone, would a man like Buggy want something like that?

He looks so good sitting in bed like that, naked and rugged.

“How you like your coffee?”

”Sugar and cream, with a hint of coffee.”

He looks so happy to see you laugh, that he could make you laugh doing or saying anything.

You sip your coffee quietly in bed together, Buggy looking nervous the whole time. You figure he’s trying to find an excuse to leave, you’re ready to give him one. But then to your surprise, he holds your hand. Your cheeks burn, and you cuddle up closer.

”You know,” he says, “I don’t gotta leave right away. How long has it been since you been on a ship?”

”Too long.”

”Well, guess it’s time for a grand tour.”

He was a gentleman, his features softer in the daylight. As you walk across the pier, you reach for his hand to test the waters. A blush creeps up his neck, but he doesn’t let go.

The Big Top was larger than life, befitting a pirate captain like him. He leads you to an area where he kept his circus tent, it wasn’t set up, the lights and crates strewn about.

“Watch.”

He hit a switch, the lights strung above lit up like stars. Buggy watched you gaze up with delight, you catch his eye, would it be crazy to fall for him now?

You suppose you always did that, you met your first love at a port town, just like this one. They offered you a spot on his crew, before discovering they weren’t even a captain. You served together until you had money for a ship, you were made captain. Anything you wanted, you dove in head first.

”I would love to see a show.”

He loves to hear it, “you get VIP access. Free.”

”Oh yeah? What’s included.”

He hugs your waist, “front row seats, free concessions, access to the star’s personal green room.”

Your lips brushes against his, “deal.”

He didn’t move, frozen against your body. Suddenly feeling anxious, you try to back up.

He holds you tight, “I’m serious.”

”Me too.”

He kisses you again, happy as hell. You feel it coming, nervously smiling at Buggy. He looks so proud, truly born for the sea. For the spotlight.

”You should join, I can offer a private show every night.”

“I can’t. I’m a little too old to run off with the circus.”

He face falls, “oh.”

“I’m not saying no, just not now.”

”Oh!”

He was too cute, “come back, Bug. I would love to see you as much as I could.”

“How about two months? Could…could you wait for me that long?”

You found your courage, “I’ll wait for you until the end of my days.”

[kattythingz]

YJ x FMA Pt. 5

Aka the au where Ed absolutely must remind every child soldier hero he runs into that they are, in fact, still children. Without picking any favorites whatsoever, of course.

(Jk, it's obviously M'gann. Fight me.)

🧡 Pt. 1 💛 Pt. 2 🤍 Pt. 3 🩵 Pt. 4 💙

M’gann didn’t think she was fully awake when she opened her bedroom door the next morning to the smell of food.

She’d made a pretty good habit of getting up around nine every morning so she could surprise Superboy with a breakfast. It was admittedly corny of her, and it didn’t always work out, but she made a regular effort nonetheless. If she couldn’t drag him into a breakfast, then she was always on time to make cookies instead. Last week, Superboy had even been waiting for her, asking awkwardly if “she had cookies to make or something”. He hadn’t tried joining her outright in the kitchen yet or anything, but they were getting there! She just knew it.

But she digressed. All that was to say, she was a little surprised when she heard muttering from the kitchen.

She floated instead of walking to avoid startling the person if it was Superboy, and she was almost sure it was him when she got near enough.

That cursing was pretty distinctive, though.

“Ed?” she called tentatively at the threshold, just in time to catch Ed jolting hard enough to slip his fingers on the pan handle and burn himself.

He recoiled instantly, dropping the pan with a loud clang. “FUCK!” 

“Oh my god!” M’gann yelped and rushed over. “I am so sorry, I should’ve made some noise first—are you alright?! Here, the sink is right over here if you—!”

She stopped when a smile, of all things, crossed Ed’s lips and he chuckled.

“I barely felt it, don’t worry,” he said, still laughing. “Don’t you dare apologize for something like that, that’s amazing. I didn’t even hear you.”

“That is another thing you will have to ‘get used to’, I’m afraid.”

It was M’gann’s turn to be startled at the amused voice behind her. She spun toward Kaldur sitting at the island, nursing what looked like a slightly burned omelet and a glass of orange juice. Which meant M’gann had definitely overslept, if he was already here at the cave and not his own place in Atlantis.

“Kaldur,” she stuttered, cheeks warm at the dual praise now. “That’s funny, I didn’t see you there either.”

“I have my own methods as well,” he said with a slight smirk.

“Tell me about it,” Ed said, pulling both their attention back to him. “You lot are gonna be the cause of my premature heart attack. Scaring the shit out of me one by one.”

He was already returning to his task of cracking eggs into a bowl, so M’gann asked Kaldur instead, “What did you do?”

“I only thought to help with preventing a mess,” Kaldur said, meaning—

“You literally made water float out of nowhere, you little shit!” Ed whirled around with a pointed spatula, and Kaldur’s smile held valiantly at the other end of it. “I thought I was going crazy. A little warning for that would’ve been nice, considering you’re supposed to be the polite one.”

“I believe I did warn you,” Kaldur hummed, “when I made my presence known first.”

“I changed my mind, don’t fucking talk back to me. You’ve been spending too much time with Ling.” Ed huffed, but he was obviously smiling when he turned back to the stove. “M’gann, have you eaten anything yet?”

It took her a second to realize Ed had used her Martian name. Probably because that was how he’d heard it from Ling, and Ling insisted on using her proper name—if she preferred it. M’gann didn’t mind being Megan to begin with, but she had to admit, it was nice hearing her name in its Martian pronunciation too. 

Though, she was surprised Ed had said it so easily. Her name wasn’t hard to pronounce, but it was “heavy” by Earth standards; when Robin and Wally had tried saying it, they’d needed to pause before connecting it in a sentence.

“M’gann?” Ed’s question pulled her out of her thoughts.

“Sorry.” She smacked her forehead and floated over to his side. She didn’t get it yet, but it was apparently considered rude on Earth to talk at someone from a distance. “You can use my Earth name, you know, if you want. M’gann and Megan mean the same thing to me.”

“At this point, I’ve heard the first one more thanks to Ling,” Ed said. “If you’d prefer it, though—”

“Oh, no! I was just saying. I don’t mind.” It made her really happy, actually.

“Good. I would’ve had to kick Ling’s ass too if you had a problem with it.” He shook his head, reaching for something beside the stovetop. He furrowed his brow when he only touched counter, opening his mouth to ask something—

M’gann, perhaps overeager, beat him to it.

“Here!”

Ed turned to accept the plate normally, a “thank you” spilling blindly from his lips, before his eyes widened at the plate being hovered at his eye-level. Catching the muscle memory too late, M’gann lowered it sheepishly to his height instead.

It was a long second before he accepted it.

“Thanks…” he repeated. “Let me guess, another thing I’ll have to get used to?”

M’gann giggled at the resignation in his tone. “Sorry about that.”

Ed finally smiled. He turned back to the pan, freeing the omelet from the surface and passing the plate easily to her.

She started at the offer, accepting without thinking, and he grinned.

“Don’t be,” he said. “That’s still amazing.”

She wasn’t used to hearing such direct praise from an adult—Ling said Ed was older than him, hadn’t he?—so she needed a second to remember to say over her skipping heartbeat, “Thank you. Like you said yesterday, though, that’s nothing special by my standards. Everyone on Mars can do it. We learn it as kids, even.”

“Really?”

Ed sounded genuinely interested, so she moved to the island with her plate and continued, “Oh, yeah. There’s a bunch of local games tailored to nurture exactly that skill. It’s as important as learning our first word—through telepathy, that is. We learn that too before out-loud speaking.” 

“We have a similar standard in Atlantis,” Kaldur said. He’d finished his food, and was leaning into the conversation with a noticeable spark in his eyes that M’gann was always happy to see; he was their friend before their leader, though he seemed to forget that often. “All Atlantean children like myself are trained in the ways of hydrokinesis since infancy. Speaking comes shortly after we have usually achieved our first trick.”

Ed’s infamous curiosity must’ve been sparked, because he put his back completely to the stove and leaned against it in favor of the conversation now. “That is so fucking cool, what the hell. But, wait, you said something about knowing ‘sorcery’ too—”

“Atlantean sorcery.” Kaldur nodded.

“Right. That. So, is that a different thing? Or can everyone do that too, and you just chose to get a mentor for it?”

“Actually—”

Kaldur paused suddenly, along with Ed and M’gann, at a distant noise from down the hall. It sounded like the slam of a mechanical door for a split second, accompanied furiously by a mad sprint, and—

“ED!”

M’gann jumped with Kaldur at the yell directly at the threshold, spinning together to blink at the source.

Ed deigned his attention to it much more slowly, and with a great roll of his eyes.

“A little louder, idiot prince. I don’t think Superboy heard you yet.”

Ling’s eyes further widened where he stood panting, swallowing his breath for a palpable moment frozen on Ed. He’d obviously overslept and woken in a panic. His hair was wild and loose around his shoulders, his mouth agape—and he was completely shirtless.

M’gann’s face burned, and she turned away quickly. She didn’t need visuals to imagine the look on Ling’s face, anyway, when he breathed a second time, “Ed. You’re still here.”

Ed smiled in the corner of her vision, lifting off the counter. “Where else would I be, dumbass?”

“You… You weren’t there when I woke up. I thought—”

Ling’s already short breathing cut off at the same time Kaldur looked away with a polite grimace. M’gann could guess the cause of that interruption, then.

She counted one, two, three beats before Ed said, “You thought what?”

M’gann risked a peek at the couple now, and she couldn’t help her instinctive smile at the starry-eyed look on Ling’s face. It felt like, already, she’d seen more faces from Ling caused by Ed’s presence than his absence. And Ling had talked a lot about Ed before his undue arrival in their world. 

“I thought…” Ling sucked in a breath. “My hoodie was missing.”

“Is that what this is called?” Ed pulled back from Ling to observe the oversized sleeves of his red hoodie that did belong to Ling, now that M’gann noticed it. She’d known those pants looked familiar too; she helped Ling pick out those black short pants with the golden design up the legs herself, when they’d gone shopping for clothes for him.

Ling’s expression positively melted on Ed as he hummed a noncommittal answer.

“This doesn’t seem like your usual style,” Ed remarked with a questioning eyebrow at Ling. “Isn’t this a little sweltering for your sensitive skin? Not to mention the color. Although, it is an upgrade.”

He cracked a grin there at the end, and Ling chuckled.

“Well, I wasn’t entirely thinking of myself when I chose it,” he said warmly. “I’m glad to see my judgment hasn’t slipped, after all. Those really are your colors.”

Ed blushed bright and spontaneous. “A-Are you still half-asleep? What’s with the directness? And go put on a shirt already! What the hell are you doing running around this freezing place like that? Don’t tell me you’ve been prancing around like you did when you were sixteen—!”

Ed wasn’t the only one caught off-guard by Ling’s loud, bubbling laughter out of the blue. Kaldur’s eyebrows shot up at the rare sound triggered by practically nothing.

“I haven’t, I haven’t!” Ling said, beaming wider than the sun, and Ed’s face somehow colored redder.

“Y-Yeah, well, good! Now, seriously, go change.” Ed twisted out of Ling’s loose hold, grabbing two eggs from the carton as he passed it. “Or I’m eating your portion too!”

That made Ling yelp, and he actually stumbled. “Don’t even joke like that, Edward!”

“Good thing I’m not joking, then! One minute, Ling. One! Two—!”

Ling was gone down the hall in three. M’gann slapped a hand over her mouth to—badly—cover up a laugh, and Kaldur outright chuckled next to her.

Ed grinned by the stove too, and it felt like something in the cave had shifted.

<- prev ◆ next ->

[theheraldsrest]

Inq accidentally switching bodies with their LI? Don’t ask how it happens it just ~ does ~

“Inquisitor switching bodies with Romanced!Companions”

Hello again. I will continue to apologize for my absence. I’m slowly and surely getting through the asks, I promise. Let’s do body swap, bois!

-Lord Lex

Cullen

-WTF song playing in his head

-How did this happen? Why? Where’s his body? Everything feels weird. Someone help

-Not that pleased when he finds you trying to act like him to some very confused soldiers

-Even more confused when a very embarrassed Inquisitor pulls away a giggling Cullen

-When explaining to Josey and Leliana, Leliana makes the comment “So that’s why the Inquisitor kept sticking out her chest and walking funny.” Both see this as an inconveniance and he’s just panic 

Josephine

-Not so much of a problem if she’s romanced by a femal Inquisitor. Might be more of a problem if male.

-Honestly sees no problem with it other than just explaining to people what had happened. Goes about her business as if nothing is wrong

-She’s had to explain so many times that it’s her and not you and no, she will not be answering any explicit questions

-Listen: If the body swap was because of something you did on purpose, she’s fully gonna get her payback by coming up to you in your body and acting all mushy-gushy

-She takes great care of your body and respects your privacy. However she also thinks it’s very neat to see things from your perspective. Andraste help the poor fool who insults you to her face.

Solas

-Oh the PANIC. He’s abso-fucking-lutely losing his shit over this because, for one, he’s in your body. How is he suppose to hold himself, moreless not make himself seem like a fool?

-Second, if he’s in your body, then that means you’re in his. What if you find out who he truly is? What if, in some way, you find out his connection to the orb? Oh no.

-His worries die down when he finds you just taking a stroll around the hold, happily greeting him, possibly slightly out of touch with the body you’re in. What was he worrying about?

-He follows you around just so you two can explain and work out what’s happening while also making sure nothing goes wrong.

-You almost got away with a few jokes before he stepped in. Especially when he found you talking to Sera about all the things you could do as Solas while also being disgusted. (Ew, magic man body. Get out of there)

Cassandra

-She sits there for a solid hour, not knowing what to do and afraid of making any mistake as you. 

-She doesn’t even want to try to get dressed as it would be inappropriate (even though she’s probably seen you naked before) but does so with her eyes closed. Yeaaah, it’s…interesting

-Eventually you find her in your room simply pacing and convince her to leave because there is stuff to do. She is horrified at the thought but also concerned on how you’ll act as her

-Also sticks to you while walking around and realizing people are talking to her when addressing the Inquisitor. The advisors find it very funny, she does not

-Please make corny jokes, it helps her relax and also laugh about it. But not around people. She doesn’t want anyone to hear Cassandra Pentaghast making goofy jokes

The Iron Bull

-Honestly? It takes him a god damn minute to realize. Even if you’re far shorter than him. Goes about his morning up until he’s actually drinking his first ale of the day does he stop and think “Wait…”

-This a great inconvenience but also an oppurtunity. He gets to know you even better and see things from your eyes. Also get’s to explore your-

-But it’s inconvenient since he doesn’t have his size, his strength, his horns. Even if you’re another qunari, it’s still the same. You don’t have his horns. It’s personnal to him

-It’s annoying for him when the dignitaries come to bother him, looking for your input and he simply points them in the direction of his body. If this doesn’t stop, he’s gonna cause a diplomatic problem

-But dear gods above is it so funny watching you try to manage his body, running into doorways, struggling to get around trees, hitting your head off light fixtures. Welcome to his world

(Extra: Chargers lose it over this and mess with you both, including Krem. They’re the main reason a lot of diplomats and nobles keep bothering him. They also keep petting Bull’s body’s pecs. They say it’s for good luck or it’s tradition. It is not.)

Dorian

-When you find your body, it’s chilling in Dorian’s usual spot and looking quite groomed. If that wasn’t a big hint, a simple “Ah, I was wondering where you were at. Having a delightful day?” gave it away

-Dorian see’s this as a big oppurtunity to expand on your closet and to replace your junk books. Also to scare a few people

-Don’t worry, he’s not going to do anything to injure your pride or reputation, but some people do wonder why the Inquisitor suddenly has an air of sass to them

-Does get a little upset that his poor self is being treated to the Inquisitor style, but it’s a little charming. He knows you’re trying and treating his body well.

-Both of you forget that you’re in each others bodies that some people question why it’s Dorian acting all lovey dovey. His reputation will never be healed (he doesn’t mind)

Sera

-Oh no. You’d be panicing. If you’re in Sera’s body then…oh no.

-True enough, you find yourself on one of the tables, declaring “I’m the Inquisitor and I think your hat looks stupid. Burn it!” to one of the nobles. You can very much hear her accent in your voice

-It’s well aware to everyone that you two switched bodies. No one can match Sera’s chaotic energy that well and the supposive “Inquisitor” was doing a grand job

-She has to be confined to your room to stop her from causing anymore problems. Josephine is already dealing with the nobles who have voiced their complaints about being told to “fuck off, ya twits”

-But, oh no, Sera is also mad at you. How dare you try to make her look nice and styled and *gasp* clean?! The audacity!

Blackwall 

-This man’s first thought, when he wakes up, is not about the room nor about the bed he’s in. No, it’s “When did I get tits?”

-The next second is just him feeling indecent and perverted. How did this happen? He has no idea, but he’s piling shirt upon shirt on to cover your body.

-Goes looking for you-or him-his body? Which ever, it hurts his brain too much. Finds you hanging out by the barn also trying to figure out what’s going on

-Is one of the only people in this situation (other than Solas) that makes it a top priority to switch back by any means necessary. Doesn’t want you to have to go through what he usually does on a daily basis, with the glares and such

-Goes as far as asking Solas and Vivienne for help. And if that doesn’t work and only as a last resort will he go to Dorian, who will never let Blackwall live this down.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Is It Really That Bad?

Women leading superhero films has a long and troubled history even before losers online decided to make it their life’s mission to bully Academy Award-winning actress Brie Larson for the crime of being in a mediocre MCU movie. 2004’s Catwoman is the film that is usually pointed to as the movie that poisoned the well in regards to superheroine blockbusters, but it takes two to tango; the following year’s Elektra is just as much to blame for the negative perception of these sorts of films.

And how could it not be? It was rushed into production, Jennifer Garner really didn’t want to do it but was contractually obligated, it was supposed to be rated R until more contractual obligations nipped that idea in the bud, and on top of everything else it was a sequel/spin-off to a movie that was already extremely unpopular (Daredevil vindication was a long way’s off at that point). With all that in mind, is it any wonder that it’s one of the lowest grossing films to ever be based off of a Marvel comic? The only films that did worse were Punisher: War Zone, Man-Thing, and The New Mutants. Even the Howard the Duck movie did better than this shit!

The career of director Rob Bowman as tanked because of this film, with his credits being relegated to TV. Garner, meanwhile, fared just as poorly, with her career cooling off and leading roles not being a thing for her after that point. But worst of all is the career of the poor boat house in this movie, as it ended up appearing in Fifty Shades of Grey. And obviously this film dragged down the idea of a woman headlining a superhero flick for about a decade until Genocide Barbie Gal Gadot stepped into Wonder Woman’s boots. And while Catwoman would receive better adaptations on the big screen, Elektra would get no such chance…

...Until it was revealed that Garner was reprising her role in, of all things, Deadpool & Wolverine.

While the film isn’t out as of the time of this review, the announcement of her presence in it really got me intrigued about the last time she donned the red ninja outfit. I’m a huge apologist for early to mid-2000s superhero garbage, so it only made sense to check it out in preparation for the massive Marvel crossover Deadpool was about to deliver. And you know what question I always ask when going in to an infamous film like this: Is it really that bad?

THE GOOD

This film is just hilariously corny when it wants to be. I think when it does stupid stuff other superhero films of the time did, it tends to do them at least a little better. For instance, like Ghost Rider it has a quirky miniboss squad full of boring flat characters who exist for Elektra to kill. But while the ones in Ghost Rider are completely forgettable and bland, this film at least has some striking visuals with Tattoo and hot forceful lesbian murder smooching with Typhoid Mary, something I’m sure awoke things in the five people who watched this.

Garner herself is really, really trying, and to her credit most of the action scenes she’s in are pretty ok when they aren’t being edited to death. As I watched the unrated version, the brief glimpses of insight into her backstory are nice, and I do love that bright red costume on her. If nothing else, she does sell how cool Elektra is supposed to be with how she carries herself, even if the writing isn’t doing her many favors.

The final act is where things really get fun, because we have a big stupid battle against magical tattoos, teleporting ninjas, and genuinely the funniest possible way to kill a villain ever. I legitimately burst out laughing when I saw this:

THE BAD

Unfortunately, no matter how funny Typhoid Mary taking a knife to the forehead after saying her only two lines in the movie, two lines that actually give her more character than every other villain in the film, it can’t really completely save the film from its two massive, crippling issues.

Literally everyone in this movie is a fucking moron. The biggest moron is easily Elektra’s buddy, who sacrifices himself so Elektra can escape from the bad guys… but his sacrifice is pointless because they pull the info from his mind with psyhcic powers. He would’ve been better off running away with them! But it’s not like the villains are much smarter; one of them chops down a tree, and then almost immediately forgets this and walks into its path before getting crushed to death. It is genuinely absurd how dumb these characters manage to get. The dumbest of them all, however, has to be Stick. I genuinely have no idea what the fuck this man is trying to accomplish at any point, because he is recklessly gambling with people’s lives here.

But hey, dumb decisions are fine in a trashy 2000s superhero movie as long as they lead to some enjoyably dumb scenarios, right? Well, about that… Barring a couple of ridiculously goofy action scenes, this film is pretty bereft of memorable corniness. Remember how I said the minibosses in Ghost Rider were not as good as the ones here? Sure, maybe it’s true, but no amount of murderous lesbian smooching makes this movie more memorable than Ghost Rider, which features over a dozen insane Nicolas Cage moments. But maybe that’s cheating, it’s not fair to compare a Jennifer Garner vehicle to a Nicolas Cage one… so how about Catwoman? As absolutely shoddy as that movie is, there are a bunch of cringey, campy scenes that have helped earn the movie at least a handful of ironic fans. There’s just nothing like that in Elektra. It’s trashy and stupid in safe, unimpressive ways for the most part, and it doesn’t do anything at all to really stand out from the crowd.

IS IT REALLY THAT BAD?

Yeah, I guess it’s bad, but the level of bad that it is is greatly exaggerated.

The movie I’d most compare this to is, of all things, Morbius. I love Morbius more than most people, and even I’m willing to admit it’s multiple bright spots of trashy charm are interspersed with the dullest shit imaginable, and Elektra has a similar issue. It’s just so goddamn unmemorable and dull for the most part, with only the final act being packed full of silly nonsense to latch onto. But even that comparison isn’t great, because Milo was sprinkled throughout Morbius and was genuinely hilarious the whole way through, while Elektra just plods along until it remembers to actually be a little cool for the finale.

I guess really the film is less “bad” and more “not good.” Like if you throw this on in the background as noise while you do something else, it’s not the worst you could do, though even then something like Black Adam would probably be better. If you want to watch a trashy 2000s superhero film, I guess it’s not unwatachably unpleasant, but why wouldn’t you watch Catwoman or Ghost Rider instead? It just is in such an unenviable position where it’s the bottom of the bottom of the barrel, the least engaging super-schlock ever made, a movie not good enough to be vindicated but not bad enough to deserve the hate it gets. Elektra is just a film that exists. That’s all there is to it and aside from the single funny death, I have no strong feelings about this movie. I think a solid 4 is where this belongs. Not good enough to be average, not bad enough to be awful, it’s just there.

All this being said, I’m honestly very excited to see Garner become a teleporting ninja assassin again. Every comic character who was in a crappy adaptation deserves a second shot, be it as a new character (Michael B. Jordan as Killmonger) or as a reprisal that improves on the untapped potential that was there (Jamie Foxx’s Electro in No Way Home). I’m rooting for Garner to get her due, and for Electra to get the respect she truly deserves… But I just don’t really think this movie’s going to be getting a reappraisal no matter how good she ends up doing.

[xspeter]

𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒

𝟎𝟎𝟏: “tell me how we made it this far.”

reminder: this fic will be written like the book!

example:

m.list next chapter ➪

Steve: i think we all knew when y/n l/n stepped through that door, that she was going to change things. and not in a good way.

Eddie: she was… different. we all know that if it hadn’t been for her, we would have never reached the level of fame that we had. steve’s the only one who hasn’t accepted it.

Robin: she was vibrant. she was new. she was exactly what the band needed.

Jonathan: do i think if she hadn’t of joined the band we would still be touring? absolutely. am i glad she joined? everyday.

Dustin: when she walked in the studio like she owned the place, i just remember thinking, “this is it. she’s our ticket to fame.” and i hadn’t even heard her voice yet!

Y/N: i did what i did best.

i fucking ruined them.

Interviewer: so let’s start at the beginning-

Eddie Munson (lead guitarist of, “silver springs”): the beginning beginning or just when y/n showed up?

Interviewer: the beginning beginning.

Eddie: *nods,* i think it was the summer of ‘75 when everything started. that sounds right.

Jonathan Byers (guitarist of, “silver springs”): i didn’t really know steve. the only person i really knew was dustin, and that was because he was friends with my brother.

Dustin Henderson (lead drummer of, “silver springs”): i knew eddie from this little dnd club we were in, and i knew jonathon because he was my friends brother, but i think the only one of us who knew steve was eddie.

Eddie: yeah, i knew steve.

i knew that he a massive douche.

Steve Harrington (lead singer of, “silver springs”): the person i was in high school… well all i can say is i hope i’m not the same person i am today as i was back then.

Robin Buckley (lead keyboardist of, “silver springs”): the day steve harrington, the king of hawkins high, graduated, was like the fucking renaissance.

Steve: i was really just trying to fit in with the people around me back then, so once we graduated and everyone went off to college except me… well i had no one i needed to pretend around anymore.

Eddie: it was a really hot day in the middle of july, and me and some of my friends were practicing in my garage. we had this band called ‘corroded coffin’. stupid, i know.

Steve: i was walking my dog, and i suddenly hear some music a couple houses away. of course, i was curious, so i make my way over there, and boy was i surprised to see eddie munson shredding his guitar like his life depended on it.

Eddie: when we saw the steve harrington walking up our driveway, i think we had all expected something completely different.

Steve: they all stopped playing and just… stared at me.

Eddie: *laughs* i think he said some corny ass shit like, “well don’t stop playing on my account!”

Steve: i told them not stop playing, and they all glanced at each other, shrugged, and continued.

Eddie: god, i know we had to have sounded awful.

Steve: they really weren’t half bad.

Eddie: we had all expected this to be a one time thing, y’know? but then steve didn’t stop showing up, and eventually, i think he became my best friend.

Steve: eventually, sometime in early august, eddie started teaching me how play the guitar.

Eddie: he was a fucking natural. it was like he was made for it. and once he started singing? he was unstoppable.

Steve: eddie wanted me in the band. everyone else… not so much.

Eddie: i spent days trying to convince those dickheads that we needed him, but they couldn’t get over how he acted towards us in high school. like seriously, grow up!

Steve: eventually, eddie gave them an ultimatum. either they let me in, or we’re both leaving.

Eddie: those scumbags basically kicked me out of my own band!

Steve: *laughs* thinking back on it now, it’s kind of funny. i mean, they looked eddie in the face and said, “then i guess we’ll have to find a new lead guitarist.”

Eddie: those douchebags never even touched the level of fame we had, so really, maybe it was a good thing they kicked us out.

Gareth (drummer of ‘corroded coffin’): i’ve never regretted kicking eddie and steve out of the band. because i have something they never will.

Interviewer: and what’s that?

Gareth: financial stability.

Steve: me and eddie knew we still wanted to be able to perform, and the two of us alone just wouldn’t cut it.

Eddie: so, we had to form a new band.

Steve: and i knew just where to look.

Robin: when steve harrington and eddie munson knocked on my door i thought i was dreaming.

Steve: i had seen robin walking in the halls, and word on the street was she was a damn good keyboard player.

Eddie: i had never heard of robin before.

Robin: steve says to me, “you robin buckley?” i just nodded and said, “yeah.”

Eddie: then steve says, “you play the keys?” and robin goes, “yep.”

Robin: and next thing i know i’m loading my keyboard into the back of steve’s AMC pacer.

Steve: it was pretty easy to convince robin to join the band. she asked if she would get any money out of it and i said, “yeah probably,” and then she’s leading us into her basement to grab her keyboard.

Robin: steve and eddie ask me if i knew anyone else who played any instruments and i said jonathon.

Jonathan: me and robin were never friends, so i have no idea how she knew i played the guitar.

Robin: we had no idea where jon lived, so we were kinda just cruising until we saw him or anyone who knew him.

Steve: that’s when we saw dustin and his friend, will. jon’s brother.

Eddie: so, we pull over and we ask the kids if they knew where jon lived.

Dustin: me and will were heading back to his house anyway, so i figured if they were looking for jon they could give us a ride, because that was where we were headed.

Eddie: so, the kids hop in the backseat and will gives us directions to his house.

Dustin: thinking back on it now, it probably wasn’t the best idea hoping into a car with a bunch of strangers and giving them directions to our house, but it was the 70’s. no one cared back then.

Robin: so we pull into the driveway, and low and behold jon is outside smoking a cig.

Steve: when he sees us pulling into the driveway with his little brother and his friend, he looked confused.

Jon: i was confused. here’s my sixteen year old little brother, with eddie munson, steve harrington, and robin buckley. it was the strangest group.

Dustin: me and will get out the car, and steve follows.

Jon: steve walks up to me, hands in his pockets, and just stands there.

Steve: i was trying to figure out what to say. with robin, it was easy, but jon just had this… intimidating look about him.

Jon: i said, “you want a cigarette?” and he just shook his head, says he doesn’t smoke. which back then, that was out of the norm. i mean, everyone smoked.

Eddie: me and robin were in the car just watching them.

Robin: i think they sat there talking for at least ten minutes.

Jon: steve says to me, “you play guitar?” and i was like, “why?” and he goes, “would you be against joining a band?” and honestly, i was.

Dustin: when i heard them say “band” i just knew i needed to be a part of this conversation.

Jon: i said, “what, are you trying to recruit me or something?” and he goes, “yeah, actually, i am.”

Steve: it was hard to convince jon to join us. i mean, he was college bound. he graduated with us, was taking a gap year and then going to college.

Jon: i wanted to say no.

Steve: i told him he could just try for the rest of the summer, and if he hated it, then he was free to leave.

Jon: that convinced me. i mean, it wasn’t like i had any other plans.

Steve: i was about to ask jon to get his guitar and come with us to scope out a new place to practice, but dustin jumped in the conversation.

Dustin: *laughs* you know, i really didn’t think they would let me in. especially because back then, i was still a beginner. i mean, i could barely play the drums!

Steve: we were desperate.

Dustin: so i go, “you need a drummer?” and steve stares at me for a second, shrugs his shoulders, and goes “yeah, we do.”

Steve: here’s this sixteen year old kid, asking me to join our band, and who am i to say no?

Eddie: at first, i had thought steve was insane for letting this kid in the band. i was a little mad about it too.

Steve: i could feel eddie glaring at me from the car when he saw dustin following behind me and jon.

Dustin: i was just excited to be there, honestly. i really didn’t think it was gonna go anywhere.

Steve: you know, i think we all thought it was just gonna be some summer gigs, maybe some over the school year, but we would all end up getting some boring 9-5 job.

Eddie: god, were we wrong.

Steve: the rest of that summer, we spent practicing. i discovered my love for writing songs and creating music, and i like to think everyone else started developing a love for it too.

Eddie: i tried to write some songs like steve did, but, they were never as good as his.

Dustin: steve was like… freddy mercury and we were those other dudes in the band that you never really learn the names of.

Steve: by september we had atleast ten songs, and we had just booked our first gig at some wedding.

Dustin: it was hard because school was starting up again and steve wanted us to practice atleast four times a week.

Steve: i just wanted us to be as good as we could be.

Jon: i wasn’t supposed to be in the band past summer, but we had just… made so much progress. there was no way i could leave. especially not before our first gig.

Eddie: september 17, 1975 we’ve got our very first gig.

Steve: i was excited. i mean, i don’t think i was nervous at all.

Robin: out of all of us, steve was the one shitting his pants the most. he was practically shaking!

Eddie: the first song we played when we got up there was this song steve wrote called, “letdown.”

Robin: steve was… *shakes head*, he was amazing.

Dustin: i mean, god can this man sing.

Steve: i just went up there and… it just felt so natural. this was my first time performing ever and, it was probably the happiest i had ever been at that point.

Robin: i think that was the night i realized we couldn’t let this thing we built go to waste. i mean, we needed to go professional with this. i knew we were just that good.

Eddie: not to sound, like, egotistical or anything but… we were good. amazing, even.

Jon: after that, i knew i couldn’t quit.

Steve: that night really changed my life. i mean, it changed everyone’s life. that was when we decided to try and get a record deal.

Eddie: lucky for us, there’s this dude there, and his name is murray bauman.

Murray Bauman: these kids, they were good. i knew they were good, and if they could get themselves a record deal, i could get them on tour.

Eddie: murray tells us that he’s a ‘tour manager’ and he lives in LA.

Robin: he tells us if we can get a record deal, he’ll get us on tour.

Jonathan: i wanted to do this of course! but… school. it was only september and i was going to new york next year for college.

Steve: i wanted to say yes. i almost said yes.

Jon: i told murray to give us some time.

Murray: i was kinda shocked. they want time? to do what? get some useless degree? you know, i never went to college and look at me!

Steve: i understood why jon wanted to wait. so i decided, that’s what we would do. we would wait a year until dustin graduated and jon decided what he wanted to do.

Robin: i wasn’t sure when steve had started making decisions for us, but it seemed everyone was okay with it.

Eddie: being told we were good enough to get a record deal? the first thing i wanted to do was party.

Steve: so, we dropped dustin off at home, and we go to this party down on cornwallis.

Eddie: it was mostly just a normal house party, alcohol, music, the whole shebang.

Steve: back then, i had only drank a few times. but, i hadn’t touched any alcohol since high school.

Robin: i barely remember that party, i got so fucking wasted. i do remember nancy being there though.

Steve: when i met nancy… it was, like love at first sight, you know?

Nancy Wheeler (wife of steve harrington): when steve walked up to me, he looked so confident that he could get me in bed.

Steve: i knew that i had to talk to her. so i walk up to her as casually as possible, and i say, “what’s your name?”

Nancy: i said, “why should i tell you?” and he seemed to short circuit at that, like he couldn’t come up with any reason!

Steve: i was cool about it. back then, i was pretty smooth with the ladies.

Nancy: he goes, “if you tell me your name i’ll tell you mine.”

Steve: i was pretty well known around town. but, i didn’t want to just assume she knew who i was.

Nancy: of course i knew who he was. but, i wanted him to think i didn’t.

Steve: i told her my name and eventually, she told me hers. i didn’t even sleep with her that night. we just… talked, exchanged numbers, that whole kinda thing.

Nancy: those next couple of weeks i went to every single practice.

Eddie: she was pretty much our honorary member.

Robin: nancy became my best friend. i hadn’t realized that i was only really hanging out with boys until she showed up.

Dustin: i already knew nancy, she was the older sister of one of my friends.

Nancy: i was always a little weirded out everytime i showed up to practice and dustin was there. he was only sixteen, and he was in a band with a bunch of graduates.

Robin: i guess it was kinda strange. but, who was i to tell the kid how to spend his days?

Steve: i officially asked nancy to be my girlfriend in november.

Nancy: i said yes, of course.

Steve: once we were officially together, i was… i was just so happy. i had a family, y’know? that’s what we were.

Eddie: once nancy and steve got together, the songs he wrote stopped being about random shit. they were all about her.

Nancy: it felt kinda strange, y’know? i mean, he wrote at least fifty songs over the course of that year.

Robin: by the time dustin graduated, we had enough material for at least two albums. maybe even three.

Dustin: the shitheads all showed up to my graduation. they probably cheered the loudest out of anyone’s families.

Eddie: i mean we were proud of him! plus, him graduating meant the only thing holding us back from LA was jon.

Jon: it was either college or LA. pursue a stable future, or pursue my dreams. how do you choose?

Eddie: one day sometime in june, we all show up to practice like normal. i’m tuning my guitar when jon walks in, and says we all need to talk.

Steve: i knew what that meant. he was either about to tell us that he was leaving or that he was staying.

Jon: i said, “this past year has… meant to much to me. but, we all knew i would be leaving at some point.”

Dustin: of course we all knew it, but i think we all assumed he would change his mind.

Steve: i tried to change his mind. we all did, even nancy! but, he was set on what he wanted to do.

Jon: i packed my shit, said my goodbyes, and i went home.

Steve: once jon was gone, well i think we all lost hope that we could pull this off.

Eddie: i really didn’t care that jon left. i mean, it sucked, yeah, but… i thought if i practiced hard enough i could play both parts. which, by the way, that’s pretty much impossible.

Robin: still, we pursued, and by the next week we packed our shit into eddie’s van.

Steve: imagine our surprise when on the day we’re set to leave, jon knocks on the door.

Jon: shit, screw college. over that week me and my mom talked, and she told me i needed to pursue my dreams.

Joyce Byers (mother of jonathon byers): i told him how it is. college will be around forever. it’s not going anywhere. the chance to tour the world? that’s once in a lifetime.

Jon: i’ll forever be grateful to my mom because of that.

Steve: we welcomed him back with open arms, obviously.

Robin: so we threw jon’s stuff in the van, said our goodbyes to our families, and then the six of us were off.

Steve: my parents didn’t show up to say goodbye. my dad told me, “you’re an excuse for a son.”

Eddie: we all knew steve’s parents didn’t approve of what we were doing.

Steve: but, clearly… i made the right choice in leaving. no matter what my dad believes.

okay guys i’m actually so excited for this story!! it basically follows the plot of daisy jones and the six, so if you haven’t read the book or seen the show, you should! it’s genuinely so good.

[starcanwrecked-confessions]

remember this anon: https://www.tumblr.com/starcanwrecked-confessions/752561674802872320/i-had-a-dream-involving-a-shirtless-boy-jerry-and?source=share yeah that's me. i've come bearing an outline (which WILL reveal my identity bc. oc. but its whatever) fair warning. it does get strange. read at your own risk.

kai Drew goes on a field trip (GONE WRONG) (GONE SEXUAL ALMOST) (NOT CLICKBAIT)

——

Outline:

it’s a school trip and blowjob is there fior some fucking reason

girl jeri died in a firey car crash five years ago

They’re going to a casino to do some underage gambling 

Boy Jerry made them all fake IDs. Nobody knows where he got them. There are also wallets.

Karen Chasity made the IDs. She is a high level crime boss and also eats people bc raspy likes cannibalism (to be revealed later on in the story)

It’s like December and Boy Jerry is in the camp shirt and khaki shorts 

boy Jerry is like “gambling is a sin!!!” *proceeds to gamble away his life savings*

Doing it for girl Jeri for some reason???  “for girl jeri” *loses 700 dollars* (she had a gamling additction)

Jerry calls himself mama jerry. he will not stop. Execute him for this

Follows Kai around because her “chakras are misaligned”. Kai replies with “you could chak on this dick”

blowjob is ANTIVAX. he doesn’t think vaccines cause autism byt they DO kill uou. except for Kai they caused Kai’s autism hethinks. 

bj strongly believes in the benefits of skin to skin contacy:

“he was cery adamant about skin to skin after the birth of little jerrie. not with the mother no. with him”

“holistic health. oils and shit”

Thought skin to skin could save girl jeri feom dying. Ir did not

thinks crystals are of the devil but believes in Plants

either a hardcore vegan OR a carnivore. no inbetween i thibk

Calls Kai a liberal and says she has “blue hair and pronounce”

makes Kai listen to kidz bop

Bj calls kai hella corny shit 

I.e. i think he'd combine a bunch of shit to make it hella corny, my perfect little princess (he gets kicked in the balls for that)

antivax boymom girldad boy Jerry my love

50 year old Pete = Pat Spankowski

Pat has beer bottle for raspy mental health

Steph tries bunking with Kai but mama Jerry’s gaydar is ON POINT and then he tries bunking with Kai bc. Freak. Kai remembers she rich and gets her own room

Hotel room being a hallway is never explained hotel staff is always like “because 😸”

**LORDS COME IN WHILE JERRY IS BEING A FREAK (more on this later)**

Kai’s ass. CANNOT SLEEP. PEOPLE KEEP COMING INTO HER ROOM. 

A couple tried fucking in her room and she fucking killed them 

some guy flicked her lights on and off. She killed them

One guy walked by at like 3:47 in the morning. Didn’t do anything and tried to be as quiet as possible. Kai killed him

In the morning Kai is. Just trying to get ready 

In walks Pete and Guy. His name is Guy. Actually that’s his last name his first name is Weird. Weird Guy. I’m so funny

GIRL JERI MADE BOY JERRY DO A CANNIBALISM ONCE

Lil Jerry is there at some point and he and Kai get high cause they’re besties. Boy jerry shuns lil j and he makes a sad face 0.0000000000000000001 seconds before imploding 

boy jerry tries breastfeeding Kai at some point 😞 (“Kai I’m gonna feed you ☺️” “GET YOUR TITTIES OUT OF MY FACE”)

sorry for everyone who had to read this. but its amazing and i think everyone should see it. anywho toodles!!!

~~~