#i think i went over enough to fully explain my point

[bambi-kinos]

Thank you so much for replying to my ask! Sorry for the long reply back but I just love discussing these two.

Yes the rock and roll lifestyle and Paul’s infamous cheating before Linda has me very sceptical about him being 100% faithful to Linda too. That Jane Asher story is insane! The idea of Wings being a way to keep an eye on it is very interesting and not implausible at all. However in my opinion, Linda gives me the impression of someone with a strong sense of self, who would decide to walk instead of being disrespected in that way.

I also find it strange that decades and decades on, no one has said anything other than Paul being absolutely devoted to Linda. Not even anonymously, someone who doesn’t like Paul could seriously hurt his reputation spilling that information, not to mention the potential money, fame from it ect. This goes hand in hand with having a sexual relationship with John. I mean, surely they couldn’t have hidden it from everyone. Some people must of known, and not just an inner circle of loyal friends. Take tour managers or hotel staff for example.

So why do you think nothing has come out all these years later?

What comes to mind is the phone call Paul had with a biographer very soon after John’s death (I’m sorry I’ve forgotten his exact name) where he secretly recorded all he said and later published it. (Ouch!) Paul’s completely baffled at Yoko’s statement that no one had hurt John more than Paul had. (Said by John himself)

If they had a sexual, emotionally intense relationship, wouldn’t Paul have known that it was this John was referring too? He comes across as very smart, surely he could have put the dots together? His bewilderment seems completely sincere, not a pr trick. What’s your opinion?

I honestly go back and forth on this because I can see a relationship between those two being way more than just platonic. On and off hook ups in the 70s amongst the angst could also explain John’s sporadic comments about Paul throughout this decade. One day praising him, the other cursing him. Both parties not being brave enough (and a whole host of other factors) to not commit or acknowledge what was going on fully would have been very confusing to say the least.

But I still can’t get my head around the points I made earlier that counter this argument. Would love to hear your take on things!

EXTREMELY based ask anon, your mind is very sharp and I love it!

okayyyy there's a lot here so let's take it bit by bit

However in my opinion, Linda gives me the impression of someone with a strong sense of self, who would decide to walk instead of being disrespected in that way.

If we're anywhere close to the ballpark then Linda nearly called off the wedding when Paul told her about him and John. But then after that, she would chaperone Paul when he went to see John and hang out with him like when they went to LA. It's hard to say what Linda would or wouldn't stand for IMO because she saw the real Paul, all of him, and stuck that out for over twenty years.

I don't think that Linda would be okay with Paul cheating on her necessarily but I wouldn't write off her pretending not to see when he was sneaking out under her nose. It's not the same thing as having an open relationship but she and Paul had agreed to try for Mary sometime in 1968 before she knew about him and John and witnessed the messy break up. She doesn't strike me as the vindictive type so I wonder if knowing she was pregnant and wanting her kid to know who her father was played any role in her decision. And Linda purportedly didn't like the idea of getting married again according to a quote floating around here -- Paul had to convince her it was a good idea, not the other way around. There's reason to believe that Linda may have been happy just being a common law couple or whatever the UK's equivalent is and that Paul insisted on getting married.

I'm not saying definitively one way or another, Linda is much more opaque than Paul. But I'm hesitant to say that she wouldn't tolerate cheating or she wouldn't look the other way on it, because why else did she let Paul visit John so much otherwise? She knew what was going on.

Just something to think about I guess.

I also find it strange that decades and decades on, no one has said anything other than Paul being absolutely devoted to Linda. Not even anonymously, someone who doesn’t like Paul could seriously hurt his reputation spilling that information, not to mention the potential money, fame from it ect. This goes hand in hand with having a sexual relationship with John. I mean, surely they couldn’t have hidden it from everyone. Some people must of known, and not just an inner circle of loyal friends. Take tour managers or hotel staff for example.

So why do you think nothing has come out all these years later?

The biggest reason is that The Beatles worked very hard as a unit to cover up their infidelities. Paul was two paternity accusations lodged against him, one was the German girl and the other was Liverpool girl. Blood tests proved that both of these paternity claims were false (and Anita later admitted that she had a second boyfriend concurrent to Paul at the time, she just didn't think he was actually the dad until her son spilled the beans that Paul's paternity test proved false.) Despite these two paternity suits being lodged against Paul, he still paid the girls hush money through Brian. There's another story of a paternity claim being lodged against John that Brian paid to go away. The hookers they engaged with in the hotels were also paid for their time and to not launch any paternity suits against The Beatles. And so on.

The most encompassing answer is simply that Paul and the other Beatles paid off their babymamas AND that they have lots of legal representation on their side to make offers that can't be refused. I have long thought that the sudden muzzling of Heather Mills was the result of a super injunction, a feature of British law where a person with enough money and influence can forcibly shut someone up. A super injunction is, to put it mildly, a massive pain in the ass to obtain yet Paul is well positioned to have used one to make her shut her mouth and stop libeling him in the press. If Paul is ruthless enough to use something like that against his ex wife and mother to his child then he is absolutely willing to turn it on lays from the 1960s and 1970s. Most of the time I would bet he does not have to; we all have a price and for a sufficient amount of money, I wouldn't bother Paul with a paternity suit either.

Then there's just love and personal loyalty. The Beatles inspire incredible loyalty in their fans and their hook ups. Peggy Lipton went completely insane for Paul after meeting him only a handful of times including showing up at his hotel in a swimsuit hoping to be taken on Paul's Dirty Weekend with Linda. Now imagine that loyalty in a 19 year old girl who hooked up with Paul during 1966. Why would she say shit to anyone about having sex with Paul or getting pregnant by him? She would absolutely feel inspired to protect him. I think this would be just as true in 1976, the loyalty that the boys inspired in their fans is remarkable.

And think about it: if you had slept with one of the Beatles, would you out him to anyone? Or would you keep it a secret? Think carefully about it. By outing him, you are also outing yourself. Especially if Paul was married at the time. Do you want to admit you're complicit in Paul McCartney's adultery? That sounds like a very unpleasant prospect to me and besides, you want to keep a little piece of him to yourself.

Tour managers and hotel staff likely suspected something but it was truly a whirlwind for them too and I think a lot of them just second guess what they know. Homosexual activity was completely unthinkable and virtually unknown in the 60s and 70s. The only people who would truly know is the housekeeping staff. They would see the telltale signs of who slept where and what they were doing; those room manifests don't tell us shit because we can be sure that the boys swapped beds and rooms all the time depending on what they wanted. For John and Paul especially, I imagine there was a lot of wandering in the night and seeking each other out.

Take that story of Ringo disappearing during the 1964 tour to go on a joyride with a police man with Paul waking up and alerting Mal and Neil that he was gone. Why was Paul awake in the night? Why didn't he just go ask John and George where Ringo was first thing? Surely if your third band member goes missing your first instinct would be to ask the other two if they've seen him but instead Paul, for some reason, seems to have known immediately that Ringo was not with John and George in their hotel room and promptly tattled to the roadies. This is despite the room set up which was supposed to be Paul/Ringo and George/John. Hm!

Only housekeeping would know the truth of the situation and those men and women are dead or lost in the crowd. However even then we don't have reason to think they had proof: John and Paul being intimate would only leave behind the remains of...sex. And the truth is that The Beatles liked having sex with girls while they were in the same room together, including switching. What reason was there to think that it was just two guys boning instead of two guys and two girls?

What I'm driving at is that tour managers and hotel staff and housekeeping servicewomen had a lot of circumstantial evidence but unless they caught John and Paul in the act, then they had no reason to understand what they were seeing. Anyone who did catch them would have been paid off with the brown paper bag money Brian picked up from the bootleg merch vendors that sold fanmerch outside their concerts. And if that failed then yes legal action would have been launched through Capitol's legal arm because Capitol had plenty of superstars before The Beatles that had to be managed. They knew the drill, they weren't angels. Managing sex addicts and homosexual activity was business as usual for a suit even in 1964. They wouldn't want to scuttle that secret either because if Paul throws a fit and buys out his song catalogue then it's good night Felicia.

So in between those three things -- personal loyalty, bribes, and the threat of legal action especially since Paul has rich boy privileges -- no one is saying shit. Not any of the groupies, none of the women Paul was probably hanging out with while married, no one who ever caught him with John. It's just not worth it.

What comes to mind is the phone call Paul had with a biographer very soon after John’s death (I’m sorry I’ve forgotten his exact name) where he secretly recorded all he said and later published it. (Ouch!) Paul’s completely baffled at Yoko’s statement that no one had hurt John more than Paul had. (Said by John himself)

If they had a sexual, emotionally intense relationship, wouldn’t Paul have known that it was this John was referring too? He comes across as very smart, surely he could have put the dots together? His bewilderment seems completely sincere, not a pr trick. What’s your opinion?

Hunter Davies. The phone call with Hunter Davies is very interesting because he was someone Paul knew...but otoh he's still a reporter. Paul knows that. Hearing more about the Lennon McCartney feud soon after John's death was a hot story so could Paul reasonably assume that Hunter would write up the story.

I posit that Paul, in an act of true cynicism and spite towards Yoko, deliberately leaked some of his issues with John in order to spit in Yoko's eye. Especially with that pointed line about how he knows things about John that Yoko never knew...and that he won't publish them until after she is dead. You want to talk about ouch?!

I think that Paul is being genuine when he's confused about how he could have hurt John which makes me think @menlove is right and that India may have been a nothingburger or didn't feature Paul getting cold feet about John.

There are a couple of candidates for "John said no one hurt him like Paul did." We'll probably never know what they are but these are my personal options:

John asked for a relationship with Paul in India; Paul did something John interpreted as a rejection especially in light of Paul self destructing and John going on a multi-day bender when he got home.

Paul suddenly bringing Linda into the limo during the New York City trip to promote Apple. John seems genuinely baffled and confused about this with the "and next thing I know she's married to him" line. It was completely out of left field and John was caught by surprise.

Paul getting the drop on John with regards to announcing the Beatles break up. John expressed bitterness about this (because it was a ploy to force Paul to stay with him, Paul wasn't actually supposed to follow through with it) because it humiliated him publicly.

John was still hung up on the Family Way score and was destroyed by that and by Paul going "fuck it we'll do it live" and recording so much stuff solo for the White Album.

You may have spotted a problem with this already: there are multiple instances where Paul could have profoundly hurt John that would linger in John's memory. How can you possibly choose just one?

What if it was all of these and that eventually the hurt and abandonment mounted and John couldn't take it anymore?

Ultimately though I think Paul is/was confused and angry because the narrative was all about how Paul hurt John, and nothing about how John hurt Paul, another thing Paul brought up with Hunter during the interview. If John was pissy about Paul announcing the break up first, then why was no attention paid to John announcing "I want a divorce"? Why is it so important to sweep John being a dickhead under the rug? I think that's what had Paul so confused and pissed off, to the point that he couldn't really pinpoint one single thing that could have hurt John. 'Are you serious, I hurt him when he's the one who abandoned me multiple times through out our relationship and never apologized for any of it?' That would piss me off monumentally if I were Paul, I'd deny all knowledge of hurting John too since he refused to own up to hurting Paul in the first place.

I honestly go back and forth on this because I can see a relationship between those two being way more than just platonic. On and off hook ups in the 70s amongst the angst could also explain John’s sporadic comments about Paul throughout this decade. One day praising him, the other cursing him. Both parties not being brave enough (and a whole host of other factors) to not commit or acknowledge what was going on fully would have been very confusing to say the least.

That's pretty much it. Keeping in mind that Yoko kept John hooked on drugs to keep him from making up with Paul as well.

I think the confusion and frustration Paul expressed/expresses is a byproduct of the fog of war. He's too close to the subject matter, he can't figure it out because he can't see the big picture.

[secretlytherealsonicthehedgehog]

so this is me basically yapping about my queen’s complexity😊 regina mills they could never make me hate you

ANYWAYS. one thing i absolutely ADORE about her complexity is her voice. lana parrilla’s voice consistently changes depending on her scenes and i think it is done absolutely BEAUTIFULLY.

when she’s with cora, her voice is sensitive and quiet, as if she’s afraid to get yelled at but still looking for approval and validation.

with henry, her voice is firm but still caring. it’s her SON, after all.

with daniel, it’s free and joyful and you can just tell the difference when she speaks to him vs to anyone who’s not her family.

her voice is so powerful in so many other ways. it shows weakness, strength, fear, love, and it’s all portrayed and executed in a way that’s purely majestic.

next thing is the parallels.

regina’s greed is eventually fully explained, she loses everything, but something i’ve noticed is that everything she loses is everything she’s never actually had.

her mother’s approval, daniel, henry, hell even graham. something archie says in s2 is that everything she loses is because of magic. i think that’s true and they should’ve extended that theory further throughout the show.

her mother never truly loved her — only taking advantage of her daughter’s weakness, her need for love.

i’m not sure if this is stated, but i’ve always interpreted this way. i don’t believe she and daniel were together very long. yes, long enough to fall in love, but in ouat, that normally seemed to happen rather quickly. anyways, regina was this close to marrying daniel until cora killed him. she never truly had him in the way she wanted — and we all know nothing happened in the way she wanted.

with henry, she, again, never really had him. he was never her son, not in the way she needed him to be. he was always emma’s son, even if it felt like he was hers. yes, henry loves her, he cares about her, but at the end of the day, his determination to stick with emma in the earlier seasons always seems to overcome that.

the last one is obvious but graham could not feel anything. meaning, whatever regina felt for him, whether it was love, lust, or nostalgia, was not real. which, equals in false hope, false love, all that. (i say nostalgia because in my mind, regina sees daniel in all her past/current lovers.)

so, in conclusion to this little yapping session, regina goes several seasons with absolutely nothing. it hurts to say it, but that’s just the way her life was portrayed. now, i’m leading up to how her greed is involved in this, along with her almost drug-like addiction to magic.

she consistently goes after things she cannot have. an example of this is her attachment to children. in season two (?), regina takes away her fertility with magic to piss her mother off. this soon comes to bite her in the ass and leads to her adoption journey with henry.

maybe three times she tried to take someone’s children as her own. yes it sounds bad but there’s an explanation for that. since she can’t have children, regina’s greed for one only grows stronger. the first time she did this was with owen, a little boy who managed to get inside storybrook with his father — whom she framed for drunk driving and i believe child neglect (correct me if i’m wrong) when owen refused to live with her and abandon his father.

another time was with ava and nicolas, at the time known as hansel and gretel. after retrieving the iconic apple from the blind witch, hansel and gretel come back to regina’s castle and as a “reward,” she tries to invite them to live with her. she basically tried to bribe them, but their love for their father was so strong, so out of spite she uses magic to separate the twins from their father.

and lastly, throughout season one, she attempts to kill or frame emma several times. this is because of her attachment to henry — which this time is somewhat explainable. for once, she finally has the child she deprived herself of and all of a sudden, after years of trying to fully connect with her son, she loses him. as she did several times before. hence why i said henry was never truly her child.

ANYWAYS.😊 regina mills you are a being of majestic and conflicting things that make you the woman you are and i absolutely LOVE IT.

[miumura]

WAiTiN’ ON CALLS — S. JAEYUN 𓂃 ⭑

( 엔하이픈 제이크 ) : jake misses you — too much for his own liking. he tries to move on, and by doing so, he gives you one last call. usually it would go directly to voicemail, but instead, he was greeted with you on the other line.

──── ex!jake x gn ! r . . . ⌕ ex 2 lovers, second chance, angst, fluff ∿ 𝔀ord count 2.1K+ ( 2196 ) ╱ HAPPY BF JAKE DAY 🤍 i’ve been dying to write a fic using this pic of jake ever since it got posted … so this is for me and my jake baes 🤍

Jake knew he was beyond exhausted—so tired that all he could manage after work was to head straight for his bed, not even bothering to take off his suit.

But despite the dim lighting and the comfort of sinking into his mattress, sleep refused to come. He tossed and turned, tried counting sheep, but nothing worked. Frustrated, he sat up, turning on the radio to a soft, quiet tune as he stared at his phone.

He already knew what was on his mind.

His gaze settled on his contact list, focusing on one name—yours.

He missed you, more than he cared to admit. His eyes lingered on your icon, a picture he’d secretly taken during one of your dates. You’d demanded he delete it, but he never did. Instead, he kept it as a reminder of you, proudly showing it off whenever he got the chance.

A small, bittersweet smile crept onto his lips as his eyes trailed down to your name, the ache in his chest growing a little heavier.

My Love. He never bothered changing it—that name was reserved for you, and only you. Was it strange for him to keep it that way? He wasn't sure, but what he did know was that no matter what, you’d always be his love, even if he was the only one who still believed it.

Should he call you again?

His finger hovered over your name, hesitating—a rare feeling for him. He’d always called before, whenever he had a free moment. It was supposed to be a one-time thing, just a way to clear his head, but it had become a habit. Strangely enough, he found relief in those calls. They always went straight to voicemail, and he was certain you never listened to them.

That’s where he poured his heart out, leaving messages that no one would hear. It was sad, but in a way, comforting—like shouting into the void, knowing there'd be no echo, no response.

He often wondered why you hadn’t blocked him yet. Maybe, if you did, it would finally force him to move on.

Maybe that would give him the push he needed to let go.

But deep down, he knew it wasn’t that simple. He was the one holding onto the past, the one clinging to old habits. Why did he think calling you, of all things, would help him get over you? Even if someone asked him, he wouldn’t know how to explain it.

Maybe he didn’t really want to.

Maybe, just maybe, he was still hoping for something—anything—from you.

He just wanted to hear your voice again, even though it felt impossible at this point. Pressing his lips together, he finally tapped the call button. Placing the phone on his thigh, Jake ran a hand through his hair, unable to look at the screen as the rings buzzed in the quiet room.

As usual, he fully expected you wouldn’t answer.

Normally, the sting of disappointment would hit him when you let his calls go unanswered, but tonight felt different. Tonight, everything was going to change.

This would be the last time he stared at your contact, the last time he pressed your number, and the last voicemail he'd leave. Tonight, he was finally going to say goodbye.

Tonight—

"Hello?"

His body went still.

For a moment, Jake couldn’t believe it. Your voice, so familiar yet distant, cut through the static of the call. He had rehearsed this moment over and over in his mind, but now that it was real, his words were trapped in his throat.

"Jake?" you repeated, sounding confused, maybe even concerned. "Are you there?"

He swallowed, trying to collect himself. "Hey," he finally managed, his voice barely a whisper. "I... I didn’t expect you to pick up."

There was a brief silence on the other end, making his heart race, before you spoke again. "I didn’t expect to get so many calls... or all the voicemails."

"You... you listened to them?" he asked, barely able to believe it.

“Caught up on all of it yesterday,” you admitted, your voice surprisingly calm. “You really sent a lot, huh?”

Jake’s heart was pounding so loudly that it drowned out his own thoughts. He couldn’t believe this was happening. The plan to say goodbye, the resolution he had built up in his mind, seemed to dissolve the moment he heard your voice.

He didn’t want to mess this up—he couldn’t.

“I still didn’t expect you to actually listen to them,” he said, his voice shakier than he wanted it to be.

“How could I not?” you chuckled softly, attempting to ease the awkward tension. It was strange, both of you knew it. Talking to your ex, someone you swore you’d never contact again, felt surreal.

And yet, here you were—on the phone, waiting for him to say something more.

Jake took a breath, the weight of his next words heavy on his chest. "I was planning on this being the last call,” he confessed. “Since you never really picked up... I figured I was just bothering you."

There was a pause on the other end, and he held his breath, wondering what you’d say next.

"Would it be wrong to say I had a feeling?" you finally replied, voice soft.

"How could you tell?"

"Just... a gut feeling," you said, as if searching for the right words. "Or maybe because… I knew you."

His heart couldn’t help but falter—he knew you were not lying. You did know him, deeply once. But that closeness had slipped away when life had led you down different paths.

"Yeah," was all he could muster, the simplicity of the word masking the storm of emotions within him. He wasn’t sure how to move forward, or if he even wanted to.

“Do you mean every single voice message?” you asked, breaking the silence that had settled between you two. Jake’s eyes widened, caught off guard by the question.

“Of course I do,” he replied, gripping his phone tightly, as if it could somehow bridge the distance between you. His heart was pounding; he needed to make this count. “There isn’t a single thing I’ve sent to you that I’d ever want to take back. Every word was real. It’s exactly how I feel about you... about us.”

For a moment, vulnerability hung between you, both knowing this conversation could change everything. Jake could only hope you’d feel it too, that maybe, just maybe, there was still a chance to turn this into something more.

“Come see me then.”

“Huh?” Jake’s breath hitched, unsure if he’d heard you right.

“You’re not going to leave me hanging this time, are you?” you asked with a light chuckle, though your voice held a hint of nervousness. You hoped the laughter would mask how your heart was pounding, racing in anticipation.

Jake barely registered the words before he was scrambling to grab his keys, his phone pressed tightly to his ear. “Not this time,” he stammered, his voice shaking with excitement and a touch of panic. He could feel his pulse hammering as he fumbled with his shoes, trying to keep his hands steady.

The thought of seeing you, of finally closing the distance he’d been feeling for so long, filled him with both anticipation and nervous energy.

"Take your time," you teased, though he could hear the faintest tremor in your voice, as if you were trying to calm yourself, too. But he knew he wouldn’t—couldn’t—wait.

He barely managed to lock his door, nearly tripping as he rushed down the stairs. His mind raced, playing over every word, every message he’d sent, wondering if this was finally his chance to make things right.

As he reached his car, hands fumbling for his keys, he took a deep breath, forcing himself to focus, to drive safely. But his heart wouldn’t slow, each beat pushing him forward with a desperate urgency.

Jake barely remembered the drive over, his mind racing faster than the car itself. As he pulled up in front of your house, he felt a fresh wave of nerves settle over him. He sat there for a second, gripping the steering wheel, trying to steady his breath.

This was it.

With a final deep breath, he stepped out of the car and walked up the path to your door, his heart pounding with every step. He hesitated before raising his hand to knock, his mind swirling with questions.

But before he could overthink it, the door swung open, and there you were, standing there in the soft glow of your porch light. For a split second, neither of you spoke, caught up in the quiet intensity of the moment.

“Hi,” you said softly, a small smile tugging at your lips, though he could see the same nervousness reflected in your eyes. “Still in your work attire?”

Jake looked down, realizing for the first time that he was still in his slightly rumpled shirt and loosened tie, his rushed appearance suddenly feeling a bit ridiculous. He let out a small, embarrassed laugh, reaching up to grab his tie as if he could somehow hide it from you. But when he looked back up, he wore a shy smile, his eyes creasing in that gentle way that had always made your heart skip.

Before he could say anything else, you stepped closer, reaching up to fix his tie, your fingers brushing against the fabric with a delicate touch that sent a shiver down his spine. He swallowed, feeling his pulse quicken. It was such a simple gesture, yet it felt like slipping back into something deeply familiar, a memory that had never truly faded.

“There,” you murmured softly as you adjusted the tie, smoothing out the collar. Your hand lingered for just a second longer, and in that moment, Jake felt everything—the unspoken words, the history, the quiet yearning.

“Thank you,” he managed, his voice a little rough.

"I didn’t realize you wanted to see me that badly… especially after just finishing your shift,” you said with a hint of surprise. “You’ve always loved your job.”

Jake let out a small, wistful laugh, meeting your gaze. “Even after a long shift, that isn’t enough to distract me from you,” he admitted. You both knew how deeply he was dedicated to his work, how it had once been the thing that drew him away from you, consuming his time and energy. Something he loved had taken his real love away from him. But he couldn’t dwell on regrets now, not when this chance was standing right in front of him.

“Every time I get back from work, I have to leave a voicemail,” he confessed quietly, his words hanging between you both.

“Every night?” you asked, startled. You hadn’t realized just how much he’d been reaching out in those messages, hadn’t counted the days it had spanned. “That’s… a lot, Jake.”

He nodded, his gaze steady and sincere. “There hasn’t been a single day I haven’t thought about you, Y/N,” he said softly, his voice raw with honesty.

You looked at him, noticing how he pressed his lips together, a nervous habit he’d never quite outgrown. His hair was neatly parted, and his suit fit him perfectly, accentuating the small changes time had brought to him. Somehow, he looked even better than you remembered—or maybe it was simply because you’d missed him more than you’d realized.

“Jake,” you murmured, almost as if testing his name again, letting it fill the space between you both. “I really missed you too.”

At your words, Jake’s face lit up, his cheeks lifting with a smile he couldn’t contain, no matter how hard he tried to keep his composure. He quickly looked away, clearing his throat, but when he turned back, his grin only grew wider as he saw your own smile mirroring his.

“Then… would you let me stay the night?” he asked softly, his voice hopeful, though almost immediately he seemed to second-guess himself. His smile faltered as he began to backpedal, a nervous laugh escaping. “Or, if that’s too much, we could just sit outside, or… in my car? Just to talk, to catch up—or maybe just to let me finally say all these things I’ve kept hidden.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, finding his nervous rambling unexpectedly endearing. It was hard to remember the last time you’d seen Jake like this—unsure, almost shy. Without another word, you reached out and grabbed his arm, gently tugging him inside.

“You can stay,” you said, a warmth in your voice that eased the lingering tension in the air.

Jake blinked in surprise, his nervous expression melting into something more tender as he stepped inside. The familiar warmth of your home wrapped around him, but it was the simple presence of you that truly eased him. He hadn’t realized how much he'd longed for this—just to be near you again.

As he looked at you, a quiet realization washed over him, clear and undeniable. He wasn’t just here because he needed to be; he was here because he wanted to be.

Wherever you were, that was where he wanted to be too.

‘💬’ ─── may active soph come back after this one 😖!

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[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

First, let me apologise for making people worry. I appreciate all those who reached out and I'm sorry that I couldn't get back to you all.

I have been through a very rough spiral. It was building for months, and I am still not fully okay.

For those who want context, it's under the cut.

I bought a house in May. It's expensive. I wasn't ready financially or in many ways for that step, but my partner convinced me. I told him as much but I was not heard. Alas, I have a mortgage, full time work, astudent loan, and an ongoing school program to contend with. It hasn't been easy and it caught up to me.

At the same time, a person who traumatised me and I have no way of fully extricating from my life, has moved closer. To keep the peace, I have to associate with him to a degree and he pretends that nothing ever happened. To him, it was nothing.

In June, I moved. It was hard and fast paced. I did most of the paperwork etc for the whole process and obv helped with the physical transition as well. I was responsible for deadlines and checklists for not just myself but my partner.

I was plugging holes in a sinking boat.

At the same time, I had obligations to my family. Every weekend if I wasn't dealing with the house and all that goes into it, I was running around to babysit or see family or whathave you.

In July, I pinched a nerve behind my tailbone. I missed a week of work bc my injury but it took longer for my to recover. I am still feeling it today. It was more than physical, but emotional.

I also got three periods that month. Hormonal can't begin to explain how fucked up I've been.

On top of all that, there are underlying issues associated with other trauma and discontent. I'm realising that I have been loyal and tolerant to the point of my own detriment.

I don't want to hurt people how I've been hurt, so I don't speak up. When people tell me something about myself, I let all the doubts planted in my mind from years of abuse convince me that they're right. I can admit my faults but often times I will think that proof of one flaw means everything about me is rotten.

People forget about me or just don't care. Both or either. They don't put the same effort in that I do. I find it hard to connect because years of disregard and neglect have told me that the other side just won't care.

But I'm not just hurt, I'm angry. I'm seeking therapy and trying to figure this out.

It all boiled over after my last post. Nothing I do is enough. For anyone. Not even when it's a hobby. I was frustrated bc the place I use for escape just made me feel like less than.

Obviously, I don't mean everyone or even the majority. I appreciate the discourse and fun and everything here! There are so many awesome people to interact with and I have missed you all, however, my headspace was bad. Very bad. I had thoughts I haven't dealt with in years.

I put my nose down and just went to work. I didn't wanna talk to anyone. I didn't wanna be in the world.

I did some reading, eventually some non-fandom writing, and sometimes, I just stayed alive.

I don't know if I'm really okay but I'm trying.

To those who have been so patient and supportive, you deserve everything. To those who are silent supporters, you do too. And even to those people who send me the most vile hate, you deserve to lift yourself out of the dark space you're stuck in. Hopefully, I can, too.

[lis-likes-fics]

spencer reid drabble

tw: none, fluff. 1.1k words

“I don’t wanna do it.”

Your hands clench so tight that the skin is pulled taut over your knuckles. You look down at Spencer, your whole body stiff and rigid with anxiety. He watches you, offering a kind smile as he holds his hands out for you in support. “It’s okay, sweetheart. I’ve got you.”

You shake your head, holding on tighter. Uncertainty lives in your bones. “I don’t know…”

He shrugs, a light chuckle coming as a breath through his nose. “Well, you have to come down eventually.”

You hug the thick tree branch tighter, shaking your head as he watches you from the ground. You were walking and saw this huge tree and you wanted to see if you could climb it. Spencer fully agreed that you had the ability and then went on to explain why you could do it, but you really wanted to climb the tree. And now you’re stuck, and you’re so high up that getting down makes you want to shit your pants.

Okay, maybe you aren’t that high, but it’s high enough to break a bone if you fall the wrong way. So it counts.

You sigh, looking down at Spencer and contemplating just jumping down with no intention of ever actually ever doing it. “Can you come up with me instead?”

Spencer chuckles, he can’t help it. You’re adorable.

He tucks some hair behind his ear, tilting his head to the side. “It’s about to rain,” he points out, observing the storm clouds beginning to gather above you. “You have to come down, or you’ll get sick.”

You raise a brown accusingly, adjusting your position so that you lean on the your side. “You said that was a myth.” You pluck a tiny branch of leaves off the tree and throw it down at it. It’s pathetic because it pratically floats down and misses him entirely.

“That act of raining itself isn’t what causes sickness, it’s the elevation of bacteria and viruses from the ground and into the air caused by rain that makes it easier to affect an individual.”

You grumle something under your breath about bacteria kissing your ass—which Spencer thinks is funny. Because he thinks you’re funny.

You adjust your footing so you can lounge back on another branch, looking far more comfortable than you should, given that you’re supposed to be anxious. “Are my chances better by staying in this tree?” You pat the branch you’re leaning on—thankfully, it doesn’t move.

“I mean,” he smiles, “if you’re stuck in the tree and it rains, you could get sick from being out in the cold and wet for too long.”

You sigh heavily, nodding your head and sucking your tooth. “So I have to come down?”

Spencer closes his eyes as a raindrop falls on his cheek. His smile grows, showing off every pearly white. “Well, I just felt a drop,” he wipes it away and rubs his hands together, “so the answer is likely yes.”

You let out another long sigh, scrunching your face into a mournful grimance. You whine, “Okay.” You turn to find a grip on the branch again.

He holds his hands up again, shifting on his feet. “I will catch you,” he promises.

You scoff, securing your foot in a crook. “I’m not jumping. You think I’m crazy?”

He laughs again. “Come down, sweetheart.”

Carefully, you begin your descent, moving so slowly that you’re definitely not dodging the rain. Spencer’s theory is proved correct when more and more raindrops fall onto his face. He waits patiently, nevertheless.

You hang off a branch as your foot reaches for a little groove in the tree, but before you can secure it, you slip and lose your hold immediately. A yelp escapes you when you fall back, and you close your eyes in bracing for the fall.

But Spencer’s got you. His arms close around your body, and he holds you securely, dearly. You open one eye to look at him, dramatic and enjoying it. “See?” he smiles. “Nothing to worry about.”

You sigh gently, patting his chest and offering a grin of your own. “You're strong.”

He sets you on your feet, looking over you to make sure you're okay. By this point, his clothes are damp with a light layer of rain, and there's water dripping off his hair. “Well,” he sighs, “I can't bench 400 pounds like Morgan can, but I can hold my own with someone as light as you.” He sets his hand on the side of your neck fondly.

You raise a hand to hold his wrist and pretend to be offended. “I'm not that light.”

He chuckles, taking a step toward you. He kisses you, water dripping down the bridge of his nose and onto your cheek. You're both wet, standing in the rain like they do in those cheesy romcoms.

“Shouldn't we get inside?” you ask as you blink water from your eyes.

His lips lift at the corner, and you fawn at the sight. “One more kiss won't hurt.” And who are you to deny?

~

Spencer's mug warms your hands as you bring it into the living room, where he lounges on the couch with an arm over his eyes, bundled in blankets. You ease on the arm of the couch, passing the mug as he looks up at you.

“You feeling any better, honey?” He sits up enough to take the offered mug in his hands. His fingers curl around it as you slide next to him, nudging some hair from over his forehead.

“A bit,” he hums, taking a burning sip to counter the chill running up his spine. He sets the mug down and smiles, “Maybe a kiss will help?” He stares hopefully.

You raise a brow. “I'm sorry,” you chuckle, shaking your head. “You're the sickling riddled with bacteria.”

He shrugs. “Still safer than a handshake.”

You raise a brow, hooking your finger under his chin and speaking softly. “Are you lying to me?”

“Maybe.”

A soft chuckle shivers through you. You kiss his forehead, smoothing your hand to cup his jaw and stroking your thumb over his cheek. “That's my compromise.”

He smiles, his eyes still delicately closed. “I'll take it.” He shifts so he lays with his head in your lap. His face turns as he lifts your shirt just enough to press his lips to the soft skin of your belly. It tickles a bit.

“Funny how you're the one who ended up getting sick,” you tease. You run your hand through his hair and rub his shoulder.

He hums heavily, like he'll pass out any moment now. “Worth it,” he mumbles into your lap.

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[meangirls-imagines]

Best Friends?

Description: Leighton and Reader have been best friends since forever and both fall in love with each other. Tension rises when Leighton gets back with Alicia and Reader finally reaches the breaking point.

WARNINGS: ANGST like a mf.

leighton didn't know what to do.

her best friend was ignoring her. y/n hadn't talked to her in three days. and leighton was absolutely clueless. 

she had tried to reach out to y/n's roommates to figure out why she wasn't talking to her but none of them could tell her either. the blonde was picking her brain for everything she might have forgotten. 

birthday? nope.

friendiversary? nope.

she couldn't think of anything. she had even talked to alicia about it and her girlfriend just shook it off to y/n going through something. alicia reassured her that she would be fine and offered to take her girlfriend out for the weekend to cheer her up. as much as leighton didn't wanna leave, maybe this is what she needed. so, her and alicia packed a couple of bags and drove to new york for the weekend.

back at essex, y/n was in the weight room. it was well past midnight but y/n's thoughts were racing. she kept curling the barbell in her hand. 

all she could think about was leighton. 

how she smiled when y/n made a bad joke. 

how she cuddled up to y/n when it was their weekly movie night.

how she always gave y/n the first cookies when they baked together.

y/n usually wouldn't be thinking this hard about the blonde but something made her feelings go all over the place. 

or, more like someone.

alicia.

it wasn't that y/n didn't like alicia. it's more like alicia didn't like y/n. the girl didn't like y/n the first time her and leighton dated and she doesn't like her even more now that they are out. she never shows her disdain for y/n around leighton though. she doesn't want the blonde to know. 

y/n began to run on the treadmill when a text came through on her airpods.

from bestest friend in the whole world: hey, we haven't talked in a minute. i just wanna check in on you. you're worrying me. alicia took me to new york so if i don't hear from you by the time i come back, i'm hunting you down.

from bestest friend in the whole world: i just saw your location...why are you at the gym this late? you only do this when you're really going through something.

from bestest friend in the whole world: do you wanna facetime and talk? alicia is asleep but we can stay quiet.

y/n got tired of the messages and turned her phone off. 

so much for a peaceful workout.

that became y/n's routine for the weekend. sleep most of the day, workout most of the night.

she received multiple texts and calls from leighton but they all went ignored. luckily for y/n, when monday came around, leighton couldn't come kill her due to her being busy. she managed to hold out until thursday, a whole week since she had talked to the blonde last. 

leighton was a storm that was just waiting to unleash her power. y/n still hadn't talked to her and of it wasn't for alicia taking her on a date every night this week, y/n would've already faced the wrath. 

y/n was in her dorm watching youtube, doing her homework when there was a loud knock on the door. groaning, she got up and out of her room, fully expecting one of her roommates to be on the other side.

boy, was she wrong.

leighton stood on the other side, angrier than y/n had ever seen her. the girl gulped audibly as the blonde pushed her way into the room. "oh, sure, invite yourself in why don't you?" the blonde turned her death glare back to y/n. "yeah, it's the least i can do after my best friend practically ghosted me for no reason for a week!" 

y/n rolled her eyes and went to go back to her room when leighton stopped her. "what is wrong with you this week? you haven't talked to me, you've actively avoided me, and whitney told me that you seemed tired in practice all week. care to explain yourself?" y/n sighed. "no, i don't care to explain myself leighton. wasn't aware you had gone low enough to get your roommate to spy on me."

leighton scoffed. "can you blame me? now, i'm calling for a mandatory sleepover so i can pick that brain of yours and figure out what's going on." y/n shook her head. "don't you have a girlfriend to attend to?" leighton looked at y/n confused. "no, she's at the center tonight doing slam poetry. why would i have to attend to her?" 

y/n shrugged. "i don't know, just seems like you guys are attached to the hip and she refuses to let you do anything on your own." leighton's jaw dropped at y/n's words. did y/n always feel this way? had leighton been a bad friend?

"what do you mean? are you jealous of our relationship? i told you i could hook you up with someone, y/n. why didn't you tell me?" y/n avoided the question. "leighton, i have a ton of homework to do. go back to your dorm." leighton shook her head. "no, we need to talk this out. are you jealous of me and alicia?" after a few minutes of back and forth, y/n finally snapped.

"you know what leighton? yeah, i am jealous. i'm jealous that alicia is the one who gets to hold your hand in public. i'm jealous that alicia gets to take you on dates. i'm jealous that she gets that smile of yours that you used to only reserve for me." leighton stood shocked but y/n kept going.

"i'm jealous she gets to kiss you and sweep you off your feet and treat you like the princess you are. but most of all, i'm jealous that she had the courage to ask you out before i did." y/n had tears streaming down her face, as did leighton. the blonde's voice cracked as she tried to walk towards y/n. "y/n..i-i had no idea. i-" 

y/n held her hand up. "just go leighton. i can't do this right now." and with that, she turned, walking into her bedroom, shutting the door behind her, leaving a crying leighton in the common room.

the blonde grabbed her purse and went back to her dorm.

both girls cried themselves to sleep that night. y/n because she thought she ruined her friendship with leighton. 

leighton because she finally realized she was in love with y/n.

[daisyofwaterdeep]

[rappels from your ceiling] daisy you and i share exactly one (1) brain cell so I hope u understand what I mean when I say: clicker training Rolan

I hope you all don't mind that I combined these asks, they came in at around the same time and my brain just went !!!!!!

!NSFW!

~~~

-Rolan has been beating himself up about his little issue. It's not a big deal to you, you love the fact that he gets so excited, but to him, it's humiliating.

-And it's heartbreaking whenever he finishes--not for the reasons he thinks though. It's the way he deflates, the way he says "sorry" again and again, never getting to fully enjoy his own orgasms because he's so guilty for finishing quickly

-You try to console him, but he's in a downwards spiral over it, to the point that he's starting to decline sex--and now you're both miserable

-So you sit him down and have a serious talk with him about it. And that's when Rolan makes his request: he wants you to train him. He wants to feel you cum around his cock before he cums too. It's all he wants, but he just can't. It's a valiant goal, and you kiss him and promise him that you'll help him

-And then the training starts. After not having sex with him for the past week, the first attempt is over before it even starts--he ends up cumming in his pants during your foreplay of grinding and kissing

-He's so pissed at himself that he wants to give up for the day, but you tell him that this is the perfect time to start training

-You pull him out and stroke his cum-smeared, softening cock, loving the way Rolan jumps and shivers and whines with the overstimulation of it

-With the help of your mouth, he starts getting hard again. You can tell by the way his breathing is getting shallower and the way his whimpers are getting higher that he's going to cum soon

-"Kiss," Rolan moans, sitting up as his hands try to pull you up his body, eyes desperate, "Kiss me, please--"

-That gives you an idea

-"I'm going to suck you down to the base," You explain, pushing him him back, gently but firmly, "If you don't cum, I'll give you a kiss."

-Rolan makes a weak protest, but pulls himself together just enough to remember why you're doing this in the first place. He agrees, his muscles already tensing to prepare

-You suck him down and hold your mouth there, relishing the way you feel his cock pulse madly in your throat. Rolan wheezes out broken noises, body thrashing gently as he fights to hold in his orgasm, and he seems to be succeeding-- that is, until you start sliding back up

-He cums in your mouth, cries of "sorry" leaving him as he shakes and jerks weakly through his orgasm. You properly bob your head for him, helping him through it until he's fully spent

-You join him on the bed and Rolan immediately cups your face and pulls you forward for a kiss, but you put your hand between your mouths before they meet. Rolan furrows his brow in confusion

-"Kissing is a reward for obeying me. You didn't listen to me, did you Rolan?"

-Rolan sulks for all but a second before his eyes seem to glow even brighter with his determination. "Alright, that's fair. Give me some time to...recuperate."

-The training is hard on both of you over the next week. Having to hold back from kissing Rolan is torture. Especially when Rolan cries when he starts getting close--both with his effort and his aggravation

-So you decide to back things up, start smaller. Rubbing his cock through his pants. Grinding against him. Having him watch you touch yourself. All of these things have had him toppling over the edge in the past, but now, he can endure them--especially when you kiss him so passionately afterwards

-And slowly, he's learning to control himself. As you jerk him off you watch as he sticks his tongue out, as if reminding himself of what he'll get if he's good for you. The way he licks at the air, almost mimicking your movements as you blow him

-Eventually, he's able to fuck you without cumming immediately. He has to take his time, has to take everything slow, but he can do it. You're so proud of him that you can't help but lock him in a kiss, which of course makes him immediately pump hot spurts of cum in you

-Sex has never been as frequent and as hot between you. And now that Rolan has a bit more sexual stamina, you can tell that he's enjoying himself more too. Getting to feel the way you flutter and clench around him, teasing you with bites and lewd words. Experimenting with his pacing and angles, seeing what makes you moan and gasp the most

-And then it happens. After weeks of training, he's slamming his cock into you, holding your leg up to hammer into that shiver-inducing spot inside you. Seeing the way he smiles at you as you writhe and whine his name, the confidence of his movements, it's all too much

-"Kiss me," You babble up at him, "Please, kiss me--"

-"Not yet." Rolan's teeth flash as he grins breathlessly, his hips moving faster against you, "Cum, ah-- cum on my cock first."

-And you do. It's the most electrifying orgasm you've ever had, rolling through your body in wave after wave of intense pleasure that has spots dancing in your vision and your body locking up as you cry out

-Rolan's tongue enters your mouth as you shake through your climax, and all at once, he's cumming with you, fucking you fast and shallow as your whines mix with his

-The both of you collapse into a pile of limbs as you kiss and shiver out the dregs of your orgasms. And Rolan just can't stop smiling, he's just so happy

-And that happiness continues throughout his normal day to day life. You notice how much lighter he seems as he walks around Sorcerous Sundries, how he's kinder to customers, how he's more patient

-Seeing him so happy makes your heart soar, and you can't help but catch him on his way up the stairs to lock him into a heated kiss

-But as soon as your tongue meets his, he keens in the back of his throat and his hands grip you a little too tightly. You pull away to see what the matter is, and you're greeted with glassy eyes and deep-red cheeks. He looks horrified, but also blissed out of his mind

-"Oh Gods..." His voice is hoarse as he pulls you closer, burying his face in your neck, as if hiding from the customers below, "I...I just..."

-Now that his body's pressed against you, you can feel the rough, uneven pulsing of his cock against your thigh. You realize what just happened

-Oops....seems like you accidentally made kissing an automatic orgasm response

-It seems that you and him have some more training to do <3

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Would I be the asshole if I refused to pay my phone bill?

📱🧾♿️ <- To recognize my post for later :)

The title is probably already a bit of a red flag, but I genuinely didn’t know how else to word it…

For context: I am a disabled, chronically and mentally ill trans guy who recently turned 20. I haven’t left home yet for a lot of reasons, some being that my parents promised to let me live rent-free so long as I was in college (which I am, just not currently for the summer) as well as the fact that they really haven’t raised me to be very independent and rely solely on them (which is honestly a whole other can of worms), but primarily because of my disability. It isn’t safe for me to live on my own, as I faint commonly, cannot stand up for more than maybe fifteen minutes at a time roughly, and sometimes am unable to eat for long periods of time due to debilitating nausea which leads to weakness. I also have severe chronic pain in my limbs and gut, something I’ve had most of my life, while my chronic illness I’ve only had for about a year and a half now and am still struggling to adjust to.

Because of my disability, I also can’t work a traditional job. I offer art commissions online, because I’m very passionate about art and it’s one of the few things I’m good at, and I haul in a decent amount, but certainly not enough to live off of. I make enough to set aside some good savings (I’m currently saving for a wheelchair, as that might grant me more freedom and the potential to get a job at least for the summer) while also indulging myself in buying the occasional fatty treat (I’m very underweight so that’s not an issue, and I was raised essentially in an almond mom household all my life, so this form of eating is really the only sense of control I have over my life, as I’m fully dependent on my parents elsewise).

The issue has come upon relatively recently. I feel like a huge entitled brat for it as well, and if others believe the same, I sincerely don’t blame you.

My mom sat me down the other day and said that she expected me to start paying at least one bill. She offered my cheapest bill (which would be for my phone; my parents bought it, and it’s theirs, they’re just letting me use it as my own.. I don’t own a whole lot of “my” items myself) and asked what I thought about that. I was fully honest with her: if I had a steady stream of income, I wouldn’t hesitate to offer to pay for all of my bills, but with the way it stands, I just don’t make enough month-to-month to regularly afford the bill. I also do my commissions through my phone, so if I could afford the bill, my phone would be turned off, and I’d be unable to continue.

My mom got very upset and started talking to me like a child (though she really has every right to, honestly, and I know that). She went on a very long rant about teaching me responsibility, and how I can’t rely on my parents forever, and that I need to grow up at some point… All things that I fully agree with. I sincerely want to! I want nothing more than to be fully independent. But the way it stands, my parents cover my entire medical bills and they pay for my meds… And I just don’t make enough to survive on my own, and I can just barely afford a meal or two from a sandwich shop I enjoy twice a month to keep my sanity in check because I’m usually bedbound.

I tried explaining to her that I would if I could, sincerely, and that I’m not trying to be a leech or lazy, but she wasn’t having it. She just scolded me and said that if I can afford to eat out every month, then I can afford the phone bill. But again, with the way things are, I don’t think I’d be able to do it every month without tapping into my savings, which again, is for my wheelchair so I can regain some sense of freedom for myself. I’m seriously debating just telling her no straight out, but I don’t know what the aftermath might look like…

So, sincerely: Am I in the wrong here? Should I just swallow my protests and cough up the money somehow? I really don’t know and would love an outside perspective.

[quin-ns]

The blue VI (JJ Maybank x Reader)

Series summary: JJ has a secret, and he doesn’t know how much longer he can hold onto it. He discovers his breaking point when his best friend starts to show interest in you, his step sister, who he’s already fallen hard for

Series tags: step brother!jj, dual pov, jealousy, one sided john b x reader, drinking, inappropriate relationship, public sex, oral sex (f receiving)

A/N: the moment we’ve all been waiting for

Series masterlist + OBX masterlist

You felt bad for Kiara, knowing you probably hadn’t been the most pleasant company for the past few days.

Usually when the two of you had sleepovers it was all night gossip and games and sneaking out, but you weren’t up for any of that. Best you could offer was laying in her bed with her and watching videos on her laptop with some minor conversation.

You didn’t really have the capacity to think about anything else but your royal screw up with JJ.

She tried to get you to talk about what happened, but how could you? It didn’t take a genius to figure that something went down, but you’d rather have her think it was just an argument.

You still couldn’t believe what you’d done. You kissed JJ. You actually kissed him.

At the time it was you wanted, but then you let doubt get the best of you.

And now JJ probably hated you. Ironic how he thought it would be the other way around.

It wasn’t like you wanted to hurt him, but you had a hard time grappling with the very confusing feelings you now held for him.

It all started with that first kiss. You never would’ve known what you were missing if he hadn’t gone and done that.

“I love you, but it’s a perfectly good Saturday night and I am not spending it in my bedroom,” Kiara complained, forcing you out of your own head.

She pulled the fluffy blanket you had claimed as yours off of your body.

“What? Hey!”

You didn’t even remember her getting out of the bed. The two of you had practically been rotting beneath the covers all day.

“Up!” she demanded. You looked up and found the stubborn face of your friend looking back. “Come on.”

“Ugh, fine.” You forced yourself to sit up, swinging your legs over the edge of your bed. Kiara stood with her arms crossed while you frowned up at her. “Happy?”

“I’d be happier if you told me what happened with JJ that was bad enough to make you act like this,” she countered, raising her brows expectantly.

“I told you it was just a disagreement.”

“And I told you not to lie to me.”

You averted your gaze from hers. It wasn’t like you wanted to be dishonest with her, but it was better than the truth.

“You said you don’t wanna spend the night in your room,” you said, rising to your feet. “So… what do you want to do? You get to pick.”

“There’s a party tonight at the Boneyard,” Kiara declared. Evidently she’d already had a plan prepared. “And we’re going.”

Getting dressed with Kie actually helped to uplift your mood. You were both determined to pick out nice outfits for the other, and thankfully you’d left enough clothes at her house to have options.

You ended up in a cute crop top and some jean shorts. Dressing in the summer was always easy.

“Pope just texted me and said he, JJ, and John B are all going,” Kiara informed, reading off her phone as you made your way to her jeep. “You good with that?”

You wanted to see JJ. Even if he was pissed at you, you still missed him. You wanted a chance to talk to him, to explain what happened and admit a few things you had yet to fully accept.

“Yeah,” you replied, climbing into the passenger side. “Good with me.”

You and Kiara arrived with a wave of newcomers spilling onto the beach. The party was really getting started now.

Wandering around the beach, you kept an eye out for JJ. The sound of his voice traveling, blonde hair—something. Him being out of your sight was something of a new occurrence. After about ten minutes of trailing behind Kie as she talked to people and got a drink, you began to doubt he was even coming.

He was definitely avoiding you, and you decided you weren’t very much in a party mood after that.

You were about to ask Kie to leave until a familiar face approached.

“Long time no see,” John B teased, a smile on his face at the sight of you and Kie. “I missed you guys.”

Kie put a hand on her hip. “And here I thought you went to the dark side.”

She was referring to his boss—Kiara didn’t talk about it much, but you knew she wasn’t a fan of Ward Cameron’s daughter, Sarah. John B working for the family wasn’t her favorite thing.

“Very funny,” John B dismissed sarcastically. Thankfully Kie didn’t seem to mean it as much as she had in the beginning. John B fixed his gaze on you, and he took on a more thoughtful expression. “You got a second?”

You glanced to Kie, and she gave you a nod to say it was fine to leave her alone. You offered John B a smile. This conversation was coming too, it was just a matter of when.

“Yeah, sure.”

John B tried to find somewhere less crowded, but that wasn’t really an option unless you wanted to totally ditch and go into the woodsy area of the beach, but that seemed inconvenient. You ended up sitting next to one another on a big tree trunk that had fallen horizontally. People were milling around, but they were more distracted by the keg a few yards away. No one would be paying attention to either of you, much less eavesdropping.

“So, what’s up?” you asked when you sat down.

“We haven’t really had a chance to talk since a few nights ago,” John B started, a shyness to him that you usually didn’t hear directed at you.

You watched as he ran his hands over his knees, searching for what to add.

“I wasn’t avoiding you or anything,” you told him, trying to ease his nerves. “I’ve just been busy with Kie.”

“I know, I didn’t think you were.” John B gave you a small smile before he continued. “I don’t know how to say it right but I’m gonna try anyway,” he decided, meeting your eyes. “Your friendship means a lot to me… and so does JJ’s. And as big of a crush as I have on you, I don’t wanna risk losing either of you over it.”

“That’s mature of you,” you said, trying to not react at the mention of JJ.

“Recently I’ve been forced to think about what’s important to me, y’know?”

At the vague reference to his father, you tried to not retreat into your own mind about all the “what-if’s” in life. With everything going on you hadn’t thought about your mom’s situation in a while. In a strange way it was somewhat a relief, but you’d prefer to not have anything going wrong the way it had been.

“I think it’s for the best,” you agreed, honestly more relieved than you imagined yourself feeling. “You’re a great guy, and any girl would be lucky to have you.”

John B chuckled at the flattery before saying, “You just make sure to tell her that, alright?”

It was your turn to laugh at his teasing tone.

“You got it.” You meant what you said about him. “I’m glad we talked.” You found yourself in a better mood than you had been all day.

“We should find Kie before she thinks we’re getting into trouble,” John B commented. “And, for the record, I am too. Happy we talked.”

You gave him a smile at that. “She’ll survive,” you replied to the former statement, but looked out in front of you nonetheless, trying to spot the other girl.

You caught a glimpse of blonde hair instead.

JJ.

It was definitely him. You’d recognize him anywhere from his walk to his clothes, and you just had a feeling in your gut. It was him, but he disappeared into the crowd as soon as you saw him.

Your heart skipped in your chest. You got to your feet, everything else forgotten in that brief moment.

“You good?” John B questioned, clearly sensing your urgency.

You turned and plastered on a smile.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you lied. “We can split up and look for Kie—divide and conquer and all that.”

“It shouldn’t be too hard… okay, then,” John B trailed off, half chuckling behind you as you took off in the direction you swore JJ went.

If it wasn’t him, you must’ve been delusional.

Your heart continued to race as you found JJ at a keg, filling up a cup. So it had been him. Nice to know you weren’t losing your mind with longing that you imagined it. You never quite pictured this for yourself when it came to JJ, but as badly as you wanted to run to him, your feet were heavy.

Now or never, right?

You managed to walk up to him before he could lift the cup to his lips (and before you could freeze back in place) and he spotted you. You couldn’t quite place the look on his face, but it was more hurt than angry.

He stayed in place when you stopped across from him, but the way he glanced away from you told you that you had to talk fast.

“I’m glad you’re here, I’ve been looking for you.”

JJ scoffed, shaking his head, drink forgotten.

“You must have me mixed up with John B,” he mocked. “Although good job, ‘cause you found him.”

“We were just talking,” you defended.

“Right, sure.”

“I’m serious, okay?” you implored while he gulped down his drink. “We’re just friends.”

“Well, good for you.” JJ dropped his cup to the ground as he began to walk away, not even giving you a chance to answer his question that followed. “Is that all?”

You watched him for a second, a frown working its way onto your lips. You saw his shoulders slouch as he stuffed his hands in his pockets.

You snapped into action and followed after him.

“No, it’s not,” you rushed out, trying to fall in line with his steps through the sand but remaining a few behind him. Finally, you reached out and grabbed his arm when you realized he wasn’t going to stop. “Can you just hear me out?”

JJ turned, looking at your hand on his arm before meeting your eyes. You missed that shade of blue. You let out a sigh when your pleading worked. You saw it on his face before he said anything.

“Fine,” he agreed, keeping his guard up. “Talk.”

You glanced around, noticing the people in the surrounding area. You swallowed.

“Can we go somewhere alone?” you asked, knowing you couldn’t say everything you wanted to with all these ears nearby.

JJ led the way into the woodsy area of the beach. Calling it the woods wasn’t really fitting because it wasn’t thick like a forest. It was clusters of palm trees and shrubbery that lined where the beach met dirt, with grass sticking out of the sand. But none of that really mattered, what was important was that it was away from all your peers crowding the shore. It took a minute of walking until you felt like you could talk freely, the only sense of the party nearby being the music faintly filling the air.

JJ stopped and you did too, standing across from him. It felt like there was so much distance between the two of you, even if it was really only a yard or two. You never realized how rarely he left your close proximity until now.

You weren’t sure where to start, so you just… started speaking and prayed the words would come.

“I don’t know what you think you saw, but John B and I really were talking about being just friends. He said my friendship—and yours—mattered too much to mess up, and I don’t even see him like that. I promise, JJ.”

JJ stayed quiet for a moment, but he looked like he believed you.

“Okay,” he said, eyes low as he nodded. “Cool.”

Irritation crept in quickly. “You can give me more than one word answers, you know. I’m trying to be serious with you.”

His eyes flicked up at the sass in your tone.

“What do you want me to say? Thank you for not dating him?” he snarked. “Because thank you, I really do appreciate it, y’know?” His voice was raising and you understood why he’d been so careful with his answers before. “You can’t be with me but hey, at least you won’t be with him!”

You clicked your tongue at his words. You really wanted to have a genuine conversation with him but JJ didn’t seem too keen on that.

“I forgot, you can’t take anything seriously,” you muttered out of annoyance, but he heard you loud and clear.

“Right, yeah, everything is a joke to me. Like when you kissed me the other night—that was so funny,” he shot back, taking a step closer. “What’s also funny is I came here ready to pour my fucking heart out like an idiot to you, and you’re already over it all.”

“What makes you think I’m over any of it?” you accused, throwing his tone right back at him. “You can’t just assume shit and then act like it’s the truth! I haven’t been able to get you out of my head, if it makes you feel any better. But hey—probably not! Because apparently you don’t believe anything I say now, even though I’m telling you that there’s nothing going on with John B and there won’t be! I kissed you, not him, remember?”

You saw JJ’s throat bob as he swallowed, and it made you realize that you had moved forward to close the gap.

“Yeah, I remember,” he finally said, voice much lower than before. “I also remember you changing your mind.”

“I didn’t change my mind,” you confessed, hugging yourself. Now was your chance to try and put words to everything. You had JJ’s attention and even if he looked like he was going to storm off any second, you knew he wouldn’t. You took a breath. “When you kissed me I—I had no idea what to do or think. I didn’t know you felt that way about me and it kinda… I don’t know. But then I couldn’t stop thinking about it and it made me realize that everything we are to each other has never been what it was supposed to be. I didn’t know how to accept that, I guess, and so I did push you away, and I’m sorry. But then at the movie when it was just us I let myself slip up for a minute and I know I hurt you, and I’m sorry for that too.” You took a shaky breath. “And now here we are and I don’t really know where to go from here—I know that’s not fair but I’ve never felt like this before and I don’t know what to do.”

JJ’s eyes had stayed on your face through the entire admission, even when you couldn’t meet his gaze. When you finished, you swallowed back tears. You couldn’t quite read the look on his face. You weren’t sure what he was going to say, or what you wanted him to say.

“If I kiss you again are you going to push me away?” he finally asked, a sense of desperation in his voice.

Words almost failed you, but you managed to get out a small, “No.”

That was all it took, and then JJ’s lips were crashing against yours.

Your head spun as you kissed back, not denying yourself what you knew you wanted. Ever since the first kiss, you’d wanted more. You could admit that now.

Your hands fisted in the fabric of JJ’s shirt and pulled him impossibly close. He fell into you eagerly, hands gripping your waist.

His kiss was feverish, hungry to taste you after being denied for so long. You tried not to let your mind drift and instead focused on the now. Everything else could wait, but right now you and JJ had the world to yourselves.

That thought really won when your fingers drifted to the hem of his shirt.

“Is this okay?” you asked softly.

If the heat between the two of you wasn’t so intense, you might’ve laughed at the look on JJ’s face. You might as well have told him he won a million dollars.

“Yeah,” he rushed out. A smile tugged at the corner of his lip. “Definitely okay.”

With that he leaned back in, lips on yours once more. You let him control the kiss while you focused on removing his shirt. As you pulled it from his body, JJ had to part again. In that instant, you admired him in a way you hadn’t before. Heat rushed through you as he returned to devouring your lips.

JJ’s hands wandered to your shirt, and with a hum against his lips and a nod, you let him pull it from you. Once he started, he couldn’t stop. Neither could you.

In a mess of hands and fabric, you ended up on the ground, naked in JJ’s lap, his knees digging into the sand as he stared up at you. Your body was a temple and he was here to worship.

Curious hands ran across your exposed form and ocean eyes drank you in. You’d never seen such a look of awe on JJ’s face before and you were thrilled by the idea.

“You’re perfect, you know that?” he said, sounding about a second away from losing it. “I mean it.”

Your heart fluttered. Words failed you. You managed a light nod, which caused a smile to spread across his face.

“I love that you think that,” you managed, taking a deep breath. You found his smile, his eyes, his hands on your body—all of it felt right. “I love you, JJ.”

A look crossed JJ’s face. You’d never seen it before. It was more than awe, it was more than disbelief. Adoration. He adored you.

“I love you too,” he said. He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry with relief. “You—you’re everything to me.” He swallowed. “I never thought I’d get to say that.”

“You can,” you said, voice softer than you’d planned. You lifted your hips. “As much as you want…”

One of JJ’s hands held your hips tight while the other lined himself up. Hungry eyes couldn’t decide between watching your face or watching where your bodies were about to meet as you lowered yourself down into his lap.

The head of his cock pushed through your entrance, drawing a small gasp from you and a groan from JJ. Impatience almost won, but you had to move yourself slowly to be able to take him. Finally, your ass met his thighs and you dropped your head to his shoulder. Your breaths were shaky as you adjusted to the stretch of him fully inside you.

JJ’s hard cock twitched, his hands grabbing at your waist, your hips, your thighs—anything he could get his hands on to try and hold on and pull you close. You wrapped your arms around his neck to hold yourself in place. You took a moment to adjust, but the moment you did, you let him know.

“You can move,” you said softly into his ear.

You felt JJ’s entire body shiver at your words. You nearly smirked. His fingers pressed into your skin and he tried to control himself.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted you to want me,” JJ said, a thickness to his voice that you found incredibly hot.

You leaned back to meet his lustful gaze. You couldn’t resist teasing him given your position.

“I have a feeling I do.”

You raised yourself up a little and dropped back down, drawing a desperate sound from the blonde as you taunted him.

His tongue ran across his bottom lip, it was damn near mesmerizing. You ran out of time to look because his lips were surging toward yours, but you weren’t complaining.

JJ chuckled at the gasp you let out against his mouth when he forced you onto your back. You welcomed his weight on top of you, your hands running down his muscular chest, taking in every inch of skin you somehow resisted the urge to touch—truly touch—before.

He drew back his hips, leaving only the head inside, then slammed back forward. A moan escaped your lips, and that only spurred JJ on. He repeated the movements again and again. Slow at first, really letting you feel the drag of his thick cock inside of you. The pleasure was so agonizing, but you let him get his fill of teasing you back.

Sooner than later did his desire get the best of him, and you weren’t complaining when JJ picked up the pace. Your hands found his back, nails digging in just enough to make him stifle a moan. His lips found your neck, pressing open mouthed kisses to your damp skin. You felt his teeth begin to press in more than once, but he resisted the urge to leave behind evidence.

A curious hand wandered up to JJ’s hair, your finger carding through the soft locks. At a sharp thrust, you gripped, and his hips stuttered.

JJ’s hips snapped repeatedly against yours, flooding your entire being with a pleasure you’d never experienced before. The feel of his cock moving inside of you stirred a need inside of you that you didn’t even know you had.

You were meant for each other, it was clear to you now.

JJ kept thrusting his hips, his lips returning back to yours, devouring you in a hungry kiss. He swallowed down your moans, never letting his lips part from yours for longer than a second as his hips curved into yours.

You were being pushed towards your edge fast. It was as if JJ already knew your body.

“I’m close,” you managed between kisses.

JJ groaned out something you didn’t understand, but you knew he heard you. A skilled hand snaked its way between your bodies to find your clit. Your thighs clenched around his waist as a gasp leapt from you.

Your whole body felt overheated, like you’d melt from the inside out. JJ’s cock moving inside of you paired with the weight of his body on top of yours and the needy way his lips sought after yours between breathless sounds worked together to draw you closer and closer to release. All of your senses were flooded by him and you wouldn’t have had it any other way.

JJ wasn’t any better off than you, you could tell with the way his hips slammed into yours and his ragged breathing that he was close.

“JJ…” you moaned out his name as the knot in your belly finally snapped. “Fuck!” you cursed in a whimper as your body tightened around him, not wanting to let him go as you rode out your orgasm.

His lips parted from yours so he could watch your face. Your eyes squeezed shut and your jaw dropped as you shook. You could feel his eyes never leaving your expression even as you were blinded to it.

Thrusts became rougher, more desperate as he chased his edge. The sound of skin against skin synced up with your heart pounding in your own ears. JJ was saying something but you couldn’t hear. Your nails dug into his back as he finally shoved his hips against yours and let go.

A shiver of pleasure ran down your spine as warmth flooded your insides. You held onto him tight as he jerked inside you, giving you everything he had.

You opened your eyes and the sight of pure ecstasy on his face made your body quiver. A moan tore from deep in his throat as he reacted. You licked your lips before pulling him down into a kiss. It was sloppy and tired and the best kiss you’d ever had.

After a long moment, JJ forced himself to part from you. He smiled to himself as he made some joke about not wanting to smother you, but you wouldn’t have minded. He grinned even wider when you said that.

In the aftermath, you forgot where you were. As you sat up, evidence of what had just transpired dripping between your thighs, you looked to JJ. Beside you he mirrored your position, sitting up, facing you. He looked just as wrecked as you were sure you looked, but it was beautiful.

All you could do was smile. So this is what being in love with JJ felt like. You could get used to it.

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[pretty-blkgirl]

Soul’s Desire [Ch. 29]

- Masterlist -

A/N: Contains a written part. There is a TW for this chapter. Scenes of physical assault are present, it’s also a very heavy chapter in general. Please be mindful and don’t read anything that may upset you!!!

~~~~|~~~~

“This is a cute place,” Your mom remarked when you three stepped into the house. Hyunjin was standing close to you, already a little put off by your mother, considering she asked him what business he had been doing at your apartment less than three minutes prior.

When he explained he was a “friend” of yours, your mom rolled her eyes and told him you couldn’t have possibly had so many friends.

Hyunjin was done with her after that, but you still allowed her in the dorm despite his looks of disapproval.

“Thank you,” You said, “Yumi and Hana decorated it for the most part. They have an eye for-”

“You have no pictures of me and you” Your mom frowned as she looked at the photo wall you and the girls had.

To be fair, there were no pictures of any of you guys’ families. The wall was only meant for pictures of you and the group.

“I have a picture of us in my room” You revealed, “I’ll show it to you”

“I want a picture of us out here though.”

“Let’s go see the picture,” Hyunjin smiled. To your mom, he looked polite, to you, he looked beyond pissed.

You set the food down and took them to your room. After setting your purse down, you pointed in the direction of your bedside table. As you said, there was a picture of you and your mom. It was an older picture, you were maybe one or two years old, but it was a picture nonetheless.

“That’s nice” She mumbled

You took your guests back to the dining room to finally eat lunch. You wanted your mom to leave quickly, you could tell her mood had soured for whatever reason and you didn’t want to deal with that.

As you three ate, she started to get a little antsy, which made you nervous.

“Mom, are you okay?”

“Yeah I’m fine baby” She grinned, but her leg shook violently and she kept looking back towards the hallway.

“You sure?”

“Well” She sighed, “Can I use the restroom?”

“Of course” You nodded, “Do you remember the way to my room? The bathroom is right across from it”

She nodded and stood up, excusing herself and leaving you and Hyunjin alone.

Once he was sure he heard a door close, Hyunjin gave you a look

“I know that’s your mother, and I’d never disrespect her, but… I don’t like her!” He whispered, “I don’t know baby, she just gives off this….vibe. It’s a bad vibe, she seems so spiteful”

You crossed your arms, taking in Hyunjin’s words as you replayed the last couple of days in your mind.

Her whole demeanor just didn’t sit right with you. Either she was too sweet or very passive-aggressive. A few times she swore at you, and you could tell she hadn’t really changed.

At least, she didn’t change enough for you.

“She’s supposed to leave in a couple of days. I think I’m gonna do low contact. I don’t think she grew as a person. It’s like she’s trying to appease me”

You two continued to talk. Five minutes went by. Then ten. Then twenty.

“Why isn’t she out yet?” you asked your boyfriend, who looked just as concerned as you

“Let’s go check on her”

You got up with Hyunjin following close behind. As you walked up to the bathroom, you noticed the door was slightly ajar and the light was off.

You peeked in and didn’t see anyone there.

Then, you noticed your bedroom door was closed. You knew you left it open when you three walked out earlier.

A bad feeling settled in your stomach as you barged into your room.

The first thing you saw was your clothes all over the floor. Your shirts, pants, shorts, and even underwear were scattered everywhere.

Naturally, your drawers were opened, some even fully emptied. Your closet was ransacked and you saw a pile of coats and purses on the floor.

Pieces of paper were crumpled up in a pile, and a dark blue journal was close by, so you immediately knew your diary had been destroyed.

All your posters had been ripped down. All the pictures Hyunjin drew for you were torn apart.

Every love song Han wrote for you that you taped up, destroyed.

Every Polaroid you took with I.N., was destroyed.

The pictures of Soonie, Doognie, and Dori that Lee Know gave to you that featured little words of encouragement on them, were destroyed.

Love poems from Seungmin

Sticky notes with reminders to “keep being cute” or “keep doing well” from Changbin

Origami boats from Felix

And every single flower Chan had ever gotten for you.

He knew you loved roses, and he insisted on getting you real ones even though you couldn’t take care of them.

They were dead and fragile, but you still kept them in a vase just for memory's sake.

Now they lay on the floor. Crushed.

The very last thing you saw was your mother, sitting on your bed, with your wallet in one hand and your debit cards and cash in the other.

“Wow” is all you said

Hyunjin felt your rage build up. The symbol was practically burning a hole through his palm. He knew the other boys could feel it, and they were probably calling and texting you both non-stop.

Your phones were in the other room though, and honestly, you couldn’t give a damn about answering a phone at that moment.

All you felt was pure anger.

All of a sudden you were fifteen years old again, watching your mom demolish your room after she found out you kissed a boy at a school dance.

Then you were twenty, right before you left for Korea, watching her smash every plate, vase, and picture frame she could get her hands on after she learned that you’d be “abandoning her”

You don’t know what set her off this time. You didn’t want to know.

“How could I be so damn stupid?” You wondered aloud, “Why didn’t I tell you to go fuck yourself the moment I found out you showed up at my fucking place of work?”

“Watch your mouth, girl” Your mother snapped, still holding your things in her hands.

“Nah, FUCK THAT. I allowed you to waltz your ass back into my life and this is how you repay me? Wrecking my room? Ruining everything I cherish most?”

You walked further into the room, slowly getting closer to your mother.

Hyunjin knew you were about to do something drastic, so he sprung into action, grabbing your arm before you had a chance to raise it.

Your mom seemingly took this as a challenge. She threw your money and cards down, standing up and getting in your face.

“I read your little diary. I saw all the things you said about me. You think I’m a failure as a mother? You think I don’t give a fuck about you, huh? You called me a narcissistic bitch. I’ll show you a bitch alright”

Her hand raised and she slapped you.

It was so quick, you could barely process what had happened. Hyunjin, though, moved you behind him.

“Are you out of your fucking mind?” He fumed, “Don’t you ever put your fucking hands on her again”

“Please move Hyunjin” You trembled, hands visibly shaking as he continued to yell profanities at your mother.

“No! I’m gonna call the fucking police, you think you’re gonna get away with hitting her? Are you fucking dumb?”

“Hyunjin leave the room please”

“Y/n she HIT YOU! I’M NOT LEAVING YOU ALONE WITH HER”

“Please leave and call Rose. Tell her I need an NDA and my mom on the next flight back home”

He was about to argue more, but you gave him a look so desperate he wouldn’t dare to talk back. Hyunjin begrudgingly left, but made sure to leave the door wide open just in case he needed to rush back in.

When he was gone, you faced your mother.

You loved her.

You loved her so much.

Despite how much she mistreated and hurt you, all you wanted was for her to love you back.

You needed her approval, you craved her attention. But the moment she had the nerve -the audacity- to hit you, any hope for reconciliation was out the window.

“My manager will be here any second. You are going to sign an NDA because I don’t trust you won’t try to make money off this situation. Once you sign it, you will get the fuck out of my house. Someone will drive you to your Airbnb, you will get your shit, and you will go back home. As soon as you’re out my eyesight I’m getting rid of any and every trace of you. After today, you will not be able to get a hold of me again. And I swear to God, if you ever find yourself thinking you’re gonna try and ruin my life any more than you already have, I’ll get a lawyer and sue your ass so quickly that you won’t even have a pot to piss in by the time I’m through with you.”

As if on cue, Hyunjin walks back in with Rose.

“Y/nnie? What happened? I got here as quick as I could- what happened to your room? Is your face bruised up?”

“Do you have the NDA, Rose?”

“Yes, I mean I have a regular one? What did you want one for specifically?”

“What are the guidelines in that one?”

She quickly skimmed through the papers, “The person who signs it can’t reveal any details about any situation that could harm the artist’s reputation or image in any way, with certain stipulations of course”

“Let’s say my mom destroyed my room, hit, and planned to rob me. If she signed those documents, would she be able to talk about it in exchange for money or even…exposure?”

Rose was quiet for a few seconds, finally understanding the gravity of the situation

“No” She finally said, “Not unless she wanted to get a couple of lawsuits”

“What if she made up a story to try and harm my reputation?”

“That wouldn’t be a very smart thing to do, especially if she planned on living a peaceful life”

You wordlessly took the papers and grabbed a pen off your desk, giving both the items to your mom. With a look of disbelief mixed with hatred, she signed the papers and threw them on the floor.

“You were a mistake” She sneered, “I hate you”

You thought your heart would break, you thought you would crumble at her words, but you simply nodded.

“Goodbye Mom”

Rose escorted her out, and you finally started to feel the warm sensation on your cheek.

Your legs were wobbly, and they gave out after a few seconds. Hyunjin was at your side instantly, holding you as you started to sob violently.

~~~~|~~~~

Taglist: @chuuyaobsessed @h0rnyp0t @prttyxbby @yukichan67 @hanniemylovelyquokka @xxeiraxx @loveforlee444 @whatdoyouwanttocallmefor @cunninglibrarian @holly-here @galaxy4489 @hyunmikim @yougottobekittenme @hyeon-yi @katsukis1wife @multi-fandom-nightmare @staybabblingbaby @kozumesphone @fuck-you-im-gae @thatonedarkskinnedsiren @just-a-blackthorn-cookie @champagneconfetti

[balkanradfem]

Friends, I have a devastating/confusing update regarding the hot woman in the building, I don't even know what's going on anymore, you be the judge and tell me what you think.

So, if you remember last time we met, she gave me her number, she didn't have her phone on her, so I called her so she could save my number and call me, and come over. She never called and I assumed she just forgot or didn't save my number at all. So I'm like, okay, she doesn't care that much, it's okay, I no longer have a crush on her, I'm normal about this.

Yesterday, as I was about to head out in the evening, I see her standing in front of the building, as if waiting for someone to let her in. I'm someone. I open the door and she greets me happily, and we start chatting in the doorway. We were chatting for half an hour, she didn't seem in any rush, she was done with work, she told me she's about to go shower and relax for the day.

So in that conversation, we touched up the subject of how it feels to live with other people, since we're both introverts, and I mentioned 'oh but you live with your son and have to take care of him every day, but that's different, that's love' and she goes 'well you could find a guy and then live with him and you'd have love too'. And I froze. My eyes went blank. Soul fully left the body. I stared at the distance. The only reply I managed was a slow 'Oh.' My every thought about her was re-engineered in my head to accept that this woman not only has no interest in me, but is probably straight. Which was tough but I dealt with it, I accepted it, straight people can have buzzcuts I guess, whatever.

I responded with something like 'oh I don't want to clean after them, you know how they are' and we had a fun 5 minutes just trashing males, she told me she got divorced twice so I knew that she knew what was up, she agreed with me on most points.

I think my blank stare and extreme reaction I had about being told to 'get a guy' tipped her off about something, because she afterwards started talking about how she would maybe do better with a woman, and I was like Oh?? But then she backtracked and said she was scared of being heard because people in here are not very accepting of that, but she is, she thinks 'gay is okay' (I am nodding with a smile). She tells me about living abroad and how people are not actually accepting of that, but they don't care as much, nobody bothers you. At this point I'm just confused of what she's saying, like is she telling me about her personal experiences of being openly into women abroad? Or just talking in general what she noticed about homophobia out there? Or was it about trying to survive out there with a buzzcut? I don't know.

Then we sneaked into the bicycle room and she complained how I always wear a hat, so I explain to her that I have to, because I have sick ears; she's asking me over and over can't I just take it off, for a second? Basically begging me to take it off, just so she can see me without it, and I fold, and take off my hat, and she's mesmerized. She's looking at me with this weird shine in her eyes like she's never seen anything like it before, I'm pleased but also utterly confused because if you're straight why are you looking at me like this?

I decide enough is enough and I need to bring her over, so I drag her into my apartment, we've been talking for so long just in the hallway and we could be in my kitchen. She goes reluctantly, and then lingers at the entrance and doesn't come to the kitchen after me. I come back and ask 'Are you uncomfortable here? Do you not want to see the kitchen?' and she apparently was worried she would dirty the floor with her shoes. So I drag her over to the kitchen, and I luckily had a little jar of candied quince which I made the other day! (sidenote, did you know that David Karp makes candied quince recipes online? I have discovered this.) She loves my candied quince, and again, goes 'You're ready to get married' to which I'm immediately SO MAD, and I fight her on it, I go 'Do you think a husband could make candied quince??' and she looks at me 'oh no way' 'Well I DON'T WANT A M*N WHO CAN'T EVEN CANDY QUINCE and she laughs. I also give her a persimmon I got as a gift, because that's a semi-exotic fruit and I want her to try it. She likes my kitchen, gives me nice comments on every little handmade pillow and basket, she's in general so sweet, she hugs me, she likes my paintings, I'm happy. Then when we were getting ready to both leave, she goes 'I see you hate bras just like I do', and I'm offhandedly saying 'yeah who created that evil' but in my head I'm like I'm wearing a sweater right now, I'm wearing a sweater and you noticed? You looked at my chest enough to notice, and then you informed me you don't wear a bra either??? And then I called her phone again to be sure she saves my number, which she didn't the last time, and we both part and go our merry way.

I am driven mad by her behaviour and I don't know whats going on. Could anyone diagnose this situation. I am weeping I've been told to marry off a guy twice. I'm being pressured into being an unwilling bride by a woman with a buzzcut who I had a crush on. Regret and devastation. But then she also does things that I would call flirting if I thought she was in any way interested. I told her to stop calling me child-nicknames too and it did not work. I'm 34 I don't deserve this.

[the-sinister-story-teller]

this is long, sorry. okay, so it would be angsty with a happy ending (maybe with some smut at the end) where reader is tall and looks like a total dom, but is actually a bottom who is head over heels for angel, and tries to show it but angel doesn’t believe him/thinks he’s trying to use him and pushes the reader away,, though angel has also caught feelings. eventually angel overhears reader telling someone (charlie, husk, idc) how in love he is with angel and how angel hates him and angel confronts him. crying and confessions happen and maybe some smut where angel tops reader.

thanks, i love your writing!!!

A/n: Of course! I love this idea! I hope you enjoy it! ^^

Angel Dust x M!Reader ~ Looks May Be Deceiving

Mentions: Smut, Angst, Fluff, Male Reader, MxM intimacy, Soft Dom!Angel.

Topic: Request above ^^^^

"Hey Angel have you seen my phone?" You called out to your friend, Angel Dust, who hummed in minor confusion.

"Uhhhh...No!" He called back, as you gasped in joy.

"I got it! Thanks Angie!" You hummed, before leaving to go run some errands. To be frank, you didn't lose your phone. You had it the entire time, you just needed a reason to try and confess to Angel, but you chickened out. You had arrived a while back, and grown moderately close to Angel. When you began to try and hit on him he...declined. A lot. At some point, you tried to ask him out to which he sweetly but bluntly said a flat 'no' to. You wouldn't lose hope though. Not that easily, especially with how smitten you were for him. You didn't know it, but he was in love too, but he didn't want to be used by someone again. So, he sheltered himself from it.

Later enough, you came back with groceries that Charlie had needed, your hands full.

"Princess! I need a lil' bit of help here!!" You shouted as Charlie rushed to help you, setting the bags down. You sighed at the relief of nothing heavy weighing down your arms now, before you plopped back into a chair in the lobby. It was then you saw Angel come down, making you sigh softly. You sat up, going to help him carry something. "Here, lemme get that for ya!"

"Oh uh...Thanks Y/n." He spoke sheepishly, as you chuckled nervously again.

"Say uhm...Are you free tonight?" You asked, raising a brow as Angel narrowed his eyes.

"No. I'm really, really, busy tonight.." Angel lied, leaving the room quickly with his things. You sighed, hopeless as you sat at the bar, catching husk's attention.

"Th' hells got you so gloom?" Husk asked, pouring a glass of booze for you, as you took the cup.

"Thanks...and it's nothing just...In a predicament."

"Of what sorts?" Husk asked, raising a brow as he drank a bottle of cheap booze.

"Just..Angel. He acts like he hates my guts but I..."

"You love 'im, don't cha?" Husk sighed as you nodded, taking a swig from the glass, groaning quietly in frustration. Before Angel could fully leave, he was still within ear shot, hearing your confession.

"Yeah..I am. I can't help it!! Have you fuckin' seen him!? He's gorgeous, funny, and just...everything I'll ever need.." You muttered, sighing softly. "I just don't have a chance with him...He hates my damn guts for christs sake!" You exclaimed as Husk huffed.

"They always act like that, to cover up their true feelin's. Only thing is, Angel's probably like that 'cuz of the shit he went through." Husk explained, as you nodded.

"Yeah...You have a point.."

"So, take it easy. He's probably in love with ya' too, he just isn't ready for it yet. Keep shootin' your shot kid." Husk said with a very light smile. You returned to expression, finishing your drink, and standing up.

"Thanks Husk. It...Really means a lot to me." You thanked and he nodded, waving his hand to shoo you off. You sighed, making your way to your room, before hearing a voice.

"Hey Y/n?" Angel spoke softly, spooking you as he came out of nowhere from behind.

"Oh, Angel. It's you. What's up?" You asked as Angel opened his mouth to speak, before sighing, holding his arms softly.

"Listen I...I don't hate you..You're just so nice and I didn't know if you were genuine or just wanted to use me for sex.." He spoke, his voice shaking a bit from the tears. He didn't want you to think he hated you, he didn't want you to lose interest because of it either.

"Where did all this come from Angie?.." You murmured, scared he might've heard your conversation with Husk.

"Damnit I-...fuck...I heard what you said and...and I'm sorry for bein' a complete asshole. I didn't want to get close to you and end up goin' through heartbreak 'cuz you got tired of usin' me." He explained and you swallowed thickly.

"Angel...I'd never fucking use you...Ever..I'm lovesick for you and I'd die a second time to make sure you're happy and safe." You said, a bit of confidence peaking in your voice.

"So you're not..Upset?"

"Fuck no!! If I'm upset at anything, I'm upset you didn't tell me sooner!" You joked, hugging Angel softly as he sighed with relief, quietly and softly crying from joy.

"I love you Angel.."

"I...I love you too Y/n.." Angel muttered. From then on, the two of you began dating, and to say the least, it was fun. Constant pranks and affection. You two were in Angel's room, cuddling as you watched some novela.

"...I'm fuckin' tellin' ya Y/n! She's just gonna dump him!" Angel exclaimed as you scoffed.

"As if! Maria loves Gabe!! I doubt she'd ditch him." You huffed as the two of you went silent, before breaking out into laughter...It died down, as it was just a silent cuddle now. A question lingered in Angel's mind for a bit since you two began dating, and he felt this was the right time to ask. Given he was a bit horny that day, from seeing you to heavy work in a tank top.

"Hey Y/n, can I ask ya somethin'?"

"Uh yeah! Shoot me with it hon-" You laughed, leaning your cheek on the palm of your hand, as your elbow propped you up on the bed.

"Are you...Ready for sex? If not that's completely--" Angel quickly sat up to dismiss it all before you cut him off.

"Yes." You bluntly spoke as Angel stammered before snickering.

"Didn't think you'd reply so fast damn." He laughed as you chuckled, your cheeks growing hot.

"But uh...One thing I'd like to mention...I'm not one to top." You sheepishly chuckled as Angel hummed.

"I get it...Got any big kinks you want me to know tootz?" Angel cooed as he laid you down onto the bed, climbing on top. You practically melted into his touch, bright red from all this.

"Nope...I'm followin' you Angie, you can take the pace however you want.." You muttered sweetly as Angel nodded, cupping your cheek with one hand, kissing you softly as he used the other hands to undress the two of you. He straddled your waist, running his hands over your now bare body as he pulled away from the kiss.

"Not gonna lie tootz, I was expectin' ya to be a top~" He giggled as you bashfully looked away. Angel simply cooed from this, turning your head to face him. "Awh~ don't get shy on me now babe~" He teased as you let out a shaky sigh, before jolting a bit with a soft moan, feeling Angel's hand wrap around your shaft.

"A-Angel please be-"

"I know, I know babe, I'll be gentle...Just wasn't expecting you to be so big~" He sweetly said, leaning down and kissing your cheek. You began to whimper a bit, feeling Angel slowly drag his hand from the base to the tip, rubbing it gently to spread the pre-cum.

"Holy f-fuck angel that- mhh~ -feels a-amazing- ah..~" You moaned out, shuddering from the feeling of Angel peppering your neck in sweet kisses.

"I'm glad babe, s'all i want you to feel..pleasure all the way..~" Angel cooed, holding you closely to him. While one hand pumped your length, the other began rubbing your entrance softly, before pushing its way in, earning a whimper of minor pain from you. Angel gasped, sitting up with worry. "You ok babycakes?"

"Y-Yeah I'm fine Angie..hnn..You can keep going..~" You muttered, as Angel nodded with a sweet look, hugging you close with his two free arms, while two fingers fucked your hole, and the other stroked you. You let out a soft whimper, beginning to pant.

"Are you close babe?~" Angel asked, keeping you close to him while you reached your high. You let out yet another whimper, this time more desperate and needy. "C'mon sweet thing, let loose, ok~?" Angel cooed as you covered your mouth, doing just that. Once you finished, you let your arms fall to your side, as Angel laid on top, playing with your hair. "Happy?"

"So fucking happy babe." You chuckled breathlessly, as you two shared a quick kiss, before Angel sighed.

"Love you Y/n."

"Love you too Angie."

[lale-txt]

❦ 𝐁𝐑𝐔𝐈𝐒𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐅𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇

where it's just Nanami, you & a heat wave

a/n: my gift exchange fic for @bas-writes ♡ thank you for all the fun prompts, it was SO hard to pick and in the end i mashed a few together. also, as promised, absolutely no angst in this one (added more horny every time i felt the urge which explains the lenght of this...). anyway, i hope this fic will bring you joy, i had a lot of fun writing this!

contains: afab!reader (no pronouns used, ‘cunt’ and ‘pussy’ used to describe genitalia), reader is described as chubby but otherwise with no further details about their appearance, alcohol mention, food mention (not as in food play, just mention of food in general), established relationship, dirty talk, masturbation, oral (reader giving & receiving), fingering (reader receiving), light spanking, choking, praise kink, anal play, breeding kink (no mention of pregnancy or babies), rough but loving penetrative sex, cum play, spit kink if you squint

word count: 7.1k

“It’s not Kuantan.” “It’s with you.”

Nanami closes his eyes, allowing himself to doze off to the steady rattling of the train and the sound of the air conditioning, both harmonizing into a sound he’s looking forward to at the end of every work day: The noises of the city slowly drowning out with each passing station, less and less people on the cart, till it’s only him getting off at the final stop.

It had been your idea–escaping Tokyo, buying the house in the village that is nestled between the shore and the mountains. 

It’s like I can’t breathe. 

Nanami still remembers your words from that one early summer night, the heat and concrete of the city forming an unforgiving alliance. You were slumped next to him in the izakaya, your weary head resting against his shoulders, maybe one drink too many. He had brushed a strand of hair out of your face that had been sticking to your sweaty temples, allowing himself to cup your face afterwards and drinking you in with his eyes, a thumb brushing over the corner of your mouth.

“We need to get out of here,” he mumbled, almost apologetically, not talking about the izakaya. “I need to get my ass ate from behind in a room with air conditioning on full blast,” you huffed before your head dropped down against the tabletop with a small groan. Nanami laughed quietly, one hand coming to rest in the back of your neck, rubbing it soothingly. Both of you had a point, but only one of you would probably remember this conversation tomorrow. 

You had sent him a link the same night, after he had walked you back home to your apartment and made sure you had everything you’d need in the morning on your bedside table–water, ibuprofen, some fruit and a fully charged toy, knowing you well enough by now. His phone went off while he was sitting in the back of a cab, silently cursing out the mission he had to leave for early in the morning, when all he wanted was to feel your body pressed against him in his sleep. 

Nanami couldn’t help but laugh and shake his head again when he saw your name in the notification. Of course you wouldn’t just go and sleep like you promised him with slurred words when he kissed you goodnight. He tapped it, expecting another cat video that reminded you of him, or some newly opened café you wanted to try out together. 

To his surprise it had been a link to a realtor website.

He swiped through the photos, showing an older but freshly renovated house, secluded a little up the shore. A traditional Japanese house, one of those you get when you seriously start thinking about settling down. It came with a garden from where stairs lead down to the beach; the yard clearly had been neglected for many years but still looked beautiful in its own overgrown way. 

Strangely enough, as he was swiping, Nanami could picture the two of you together in every photo. You’ve talked about it before, the whole ordeal of moving in together, but life as a sorcerer was busy and unsteady and so the thought had always been pushed to somewhen in the future, whenever that might have been.

Now, apparently.

Nanami called you the moment he was out of the cab, walking up the stairs to his apartment. You picked up immediately and for a few seconds neither of you said a word. 

“You don’t think it’s crazy?” “No, I don’t.” “You know it’s not just a drunk idea, alright? I’m serious, really, I mean… yes, I am drunk, but–fuck– I’m actually serious. You gotta believe me. Nanami Kento. You know that, right?”

Nanami couldn’t help but laugh at your drunken antics, the bite in your voice and yet how softly his full name rolled off your tongue, as if it was the sweetest treat you’ve ever tasted. God, he was so utterly, devastatingly in love with you. 

“I know, darling. I know.” “It’s not Kuantan.” “It’s with you.”

One month later, in the midst of summer, you moved in together. 

Between long appointments at the bank, scrubbing dust off every corner of the old house and stacked-up moving boxes, the love between you bloomed into full blossom. Just being able to wake up next to you was enough for Nanami to get up at the crack of dawn, facing an endlessly long commute into the city when work called for it (though they assigned him missions in the outskirts of it more frequently now, which didn’t change the fact that work was still shit).

Actually, he didn’t mind the commute. He finally had some time to read all the unread books he had collected over the years, some of which you had recommended to him when you weren’t even dating yet. On evenings when he managed to leave work on time, he would also stop by at a bakery and snatch a big bag of goods for half the price, which he’d bring home like a trophy, making your eyes light up like magic. 

Life was good. It’s like you reminded him of that, putting back the colors into it again–maybe more than that, allowed him to dream again.

Nanami opens his eyes again when the voice over the speaker announces the last stop. It was still so bright outside, the longest days of the year just around the corner. The air was humid and heavy, but felt more bearable by the seaside than in the concrete city. He slips off his jacket and rolls up his sleeves as he walks up the hill back home, already yearning for you. He thinks about making a quick detour to the corner shop to pick up a watermelon on his way, but decides against it.

He really, really wants to see you.

You had been on his mind all day, even more than usual, and the summer heat clearly had gotten into his head and into his crotch, thinking about the way you looked like in the sheets when he left this morning. The covers pushed off you because it was too hot, too sticky, revealing every curve of your soft body. Nanami had to bite back a groan. You looked like a deity, with your legs spread, revealing the bite mark on the inside of your thigh that he left the night prior, still dripping–god, how were you still dripping, that’s so unfair–and blinking at him slowly when he leaned down to kiss your forehead goodbye. You fell asleep again a few heartbeats after that, oblivious to how his cock stiffened in his pants from the sight of you. 

He was tempted to quickly rub one out before he left for work, but he decided against it. 

No, he wanted to feel all your holes clench around him tonight, filling you up to the brim and hearing you beg for it. He wanted to bury his cock so deep inside of you till your body remembers the shape of him. Wanted to hear you pant and moan underneath him, his hands digging into your supple flesh till he leaves a mark.

Nanami had never considered himself touch-starved. Of course he had known the pleasures of a warm body next to him in bed, but he never allowed himself to get too close. As if he could burn more than just his fingers if he got too greedy. It had always been easier to keep a distance, to suffocate every burgeoning feeling like a flame. That is, until you waltzed into his life. 

Now he finds himself longing for you even when you’re just in the other room, where he can hear you rummaging around and humming and occasionally calling out for him (most of the time when you found a hidden treasure while unpacking a moving box). It’s like he’s drawn to you, unable to stay away, like the moon to the tide. When his arms wrap around your waist, he feels as if he’s holding his whole world in it. You, who tore all of his walls down with such ease, with your hands wrapped around his poor, pleading heart. 

To be devoured by your love had been the greatest pleasure of his life.

The streets are pretty empty except for a few stray cats (Nanami always slipped a handful of treats for them in his pocket before he left the house in the morning) and the occasional chatter the breeze carried from the homes he passes by. It’s one of those unbearably hot summer days where everyone would slowly feel alive again once the searing sun starts to set and the air doesn’t feel as suffocating anymore. 

With every step up the hill, Nanami could feel the excitement grow in his core, the distance between your two bodies growing smaller with every heartbeat. He can already picture you in bed, the same way as he had left you in the morning, stretched out like a lazy house cat, probably nose deep in a book, unless you were napping for the third time today with the fan running on full blast.

Good, he thinks. You of all people deserve to rest. You’ve done enough. 

When he opens the gate to the garden, a wave of contentment washes over him. Always does ever since you moved here together, as if things have finally fallen into place as they should. Right time, right place, right person. Nanami has never felt so sure about anything before. He walks around the house, noticing how you had opened all the windows to let some air in now that the end of the day brought some relief from the heat.

Nanami doesn’t call out for you when he takes his shoes off by the entrance and folds his jacket neatly over the back of a chair; he already knows where to find you.

It will never not take his breath away, seeing you like this. You look so damn enticing. Lying there on your stomach, spread out in linen sheets and wearing nothing but one of his shirts, unbuttoned, just loosely thrown over your form, revealing more of your curves than hiding them. The fabric barely covers your ass and from the way one of your legs is bent he can catch a glimpse of your cunt as well, looking as plump and tender like it did in the morning. God, the temptation to just dip two fingers into you and make you fall apart before anything… he can feel his cock stir slightly just from thinking about it.

He smiles when you put your book down and glance at him over your shoulder, catching his eyes as they–slowly–peel away from between your thighs.

“Hi, bird,” he murmurs. The mattress dips under his weight when he crawls on top of you, his hands sliding over yours, one knee hooking your angled leg just an inch higher, his half-hard cock nestled between the valley of your cheeks. Nanami kisses the side of your neck, up to your jaw, biting down gently for a moment when you arch your back for him, searching for more of that sweet friction. You never hold back in showing what you wanted from him, how you want him, and who was he to withhold that from you? 

Though, of course he wouldn’t give it to you that easily. 

One hand cups your chin and tips it up till his lips meet yours, melting into a delicate kiss; definitely not chaste but not devouring either, not yet. He is sure he could get drunk just from your kisses; they have a way of stirring up a hunger within him that only you could sate. 

“No overtime today?”, you ask once he releases your chin from his grip again and your cheek sinks down on the pillow. He kisses the back of your neck, tasting salt and you, something so sweet and alluring it makes him want to sink his teeth in your flesh on some days. A low rumble escapes his throat, both from arousal and annoyance, the latter because he does not want to think about work right now. 

Not when you’re pinned underneath him like this, just as he had imagined it all day.

“No,” he replies and licks a stripe up your neck, ending with a kiss behind the shell of your ear. “Saved that all for you tonight, love.” 

Nanami can feel your juices leaking into the fabric of his trousers from where his crotch is pressed against you, rocking back and forth ever so slightly. Something primal in him just wants to take you, to sink his cock into you till you feel him deep inside your stomach, to hear you whimper while he stays nestled inside of you for hours. To watch his cum drip out of your cunt, only to shove it back inside again. It would be so easy to give in to that, but if there’s one thing Nanami has plenty of, then it’s self-restraint. Lucky or unlucky, that was for you to decide. 

“You have no idea how divine you looked this morning,” he mutters against your skin, trailing kisses from the back of your neck down your spine, his shirt that you’re wearing slowly slipping further down your shoulders. “With your pussy still dripping for me from the night before…”

He rolls his hips in the tiniest motion, only enough to let you feel how hard he was for you already. The small whine that escaped your throat tugged on the corners of his mouth. 

Trying to keep your composure. How sweet. It wouldn’t last long.

“I missed you,” you utter quietly, when he slowly peels the shirt away from you, exposing your bare form to him. Nanami could never get enough of this moment, your softness in all its glory, every curve of your body, how it folded and melted underneath his big hands; at times he’d think you're a piece of art that only he had the honor to lay his eyes on.

There was also something about you being naked underneath him while he was still fully dressed, and you making a mess out of him despite barely being touched. Nanami growls a little as he sits up slowly, his lower half still pressed against you, but his hands now sliding from your arms between your shoulder blades, till they settle on your hips, pulling you flush against him. He bends over and trails more kisses down your spine. He could kiss every inch of your body and it still wouldn’t be enough to satiate him. Never completely full, always yearning for you. He doesn’t mind. Not when it’s you. 

“Missed you too, my darling,” he whispers, feeling you twitch from the sound of his voice. “Couldn’t get you out of my mind all day. Not that I wanted to. Just so damn hard to focus when all I could think about is how pretty you looked with my hand in your hair and your lips around my cock last night. Took me so damn well down your throat.”

He reaches for a big pillow and gently taps your hips for you to raise them. Fuck, the way your back arches. Nanami can’t help but run a knuckle over your slit, having it on display for him like that. You are so wet already. He slides the pillow underneath your stomach and takes a moment to drink you in with his eyes. You’re so stunning, it makes him feel as if the air was punched out of his lungs. 

All for him. All his. 

Nanami’s hands wander to the back of your thighs, just barely below your ass cheeks, spreading you open like a book. His cock aches painfully in his pants from the sight of your exposed cunt, glistening and dripping. He allows himself a few heartbeats of admiration, knowing how it must feel like hours for you, on full display like this; he can tell from the way you squirm underneath him, eager for his touch. There’s no doubt you’ve been craving him all day just as much as he did. 

Did you touch yourself while he was gone, trying to get the leftover bits of hunger from last night out of your system? Humped your poor pillow, imagining it was him? Did it leave you unsatisfied, the absence of his fingers, his cock, his mouth all over you? 

All of it doesn’t matter now that he is here.

Nanami leans down till his breath is fanning over your cunt before he pulls you an inch closer onto his face, licking a painfully slow and long stripe from your clit up to your hole. He moans when he tastes you, a guttural sound, all desires pooling below his navel. He’d have you in this position for days if he could and it still wouldn’t be enough. 

He repeats what he was doing a few more times, till your moans grow more needy and he lets out an airy laugh against your wet folds. You earn yourself a sharp slap on one ass cheek, then on the other; not hard enough to bruise but enough to make heat coil where his hands landed. Nanami presses a few kisses on each, thick fingers kneading the pain away till it melts into pleasure. 

“So good for me,” he rasps before turning his attention back to your cunt, his hands still spreading you open. His tongue circles your clit before sucking it gently, loving the way it makes you mewl underneath him. “Can’t wait to fill up this needy cunt. Fuck my cum in you till you’re full.”

One thumb collects your juices and comes up to play with your puckered hole, circling around it, the first digit resting against it without pushing it in yet. It makes you whine. 

“In here, too.”

It doesn’t take long for you to fall apart under his tongue, your hands clawing into the linen sheets as you moan his name. Nanami loves the sound of it, loves how you ride out your high with his face between your thighs, loves how the insides of your thick thighs are dripping by now from his spit and your arousal. He’ll have you sit on his face later tonight, Nanami thinks, desperate to feel those thighs shaking around him as you cum once more. 

Sitting back on the edge of the bed he allows you a second to breathe, admiring the sight before him while gently stroking the area around your ankle. Nanami has this habit of always needing to touch you when you are within reach. Any body part would do as long as he can have some skin contact. He just likes to feel you close, to be constantly reminded that you’re here with him. Does that make him touch-starved? He guesses so. But it’s alright, because it’s you. 

You slowly push yourself up before you turn towards him with the smug smile of someone who just traveled to the stars and back. Nanami pulls you towards him with a quiet laugh, one hand in the back of your neck when he kisses you again, letting you taste yourself on his lips and his tongue. 

“Eager, aren’t we?”, he murmurs when your fingers loosen his tie and work down the button row of his shirt, but he doesn’t hold you back; of course not. He closes his eyes and leans his head back when you kiss down his jaw, lips brushing over his five-o’clock shadow before they find his throat, sucking a mark on the side of it–close enough to his collarbone, where it can be easily hidden from a certain co-worker who would otherwise not let go about it. His shirt and his tie land on the floor with a soft thud. 

Nanami groans quietly when your hand cups the prominent bulge in his pants, stained with your slick and drips of precum. The sound of his belt being unbuckled draws his eyes back open again, meeting yours. He can see the silent pleading behind them, how you yearn to have any of your holes finally filled. Greedy. Nanami licks his lips when you unzip his pants, fingers kneading his stiff cock with longing.

“Want me to return the favor?”, you ask in a low voice, lips on his neck again, close to his ear. Nanami sucks in a breath. You don’t have to ask twice.

“Lay down on your back. Head over the edge,” he instructs and watches you do as he said. His eyes rake over your form again. How did you get so perfect? If he could, he’d carve every curve of you into marble just to live in this moment forever. How many hours has he spent with his head against the softness of your tum, with your hands running through his hair, releasing every ounce of stress from his body? It’s like you were made for him. 

Made for each other. 

“You’re beautiful,” Nanami murmurs with a gaze so warm it could melt glaciers. One of his hands strokes your cheek while the other reaches for his throbbing cock, not bothering to take off his pants completely, just enough for it to bounce free. From your upside down view it looks even more massive. Nanami can feel your hungry gaze on him when he pumps himself lazily above you. His fingers trace from your cheek down to your throat, as if to measure how deep you’re gonna swallow him soon enough.

He lowers himself so he can be on a closer eye-level with you, bending over you to kiss you on the open mouth. So pretty. So obedient. 

“You’ll let me ruin you a little, love, won’t you?”, he whispers, pushing his thumb into your mouth to open it up wider. The way you whimper softly in response, sticking out your tongue, has him even harder. Fuck, he feels as if he’s gonna burst any second if he doesn’t feel one of your holes twitch around him soon.

Nanami leans down once more, cups your chin and lets a thick bead of spit fall onto your tongue. With a small tap against your cheek he tells you to swallow it, a satisfied smile playing on his lips when you do so, immediately sticking your tongue out again. Ravening.

He pumps himself again, tempted to just give in to the seething heat in his stomach and spill himself all over your pretty face, but it would not be worthy of the sight in front of him. You need to be properly worshiped for hours. Again with the self-restraint. Instead he grabs a handful of your breasts, kneading the supple flesh of them, while slowly guiding the tip of his cock against your lips. He lets out a low growl the second your tongue swirls around him, licking up the precum leaking from it. 

It would be so easy, to just push himself inside, to make you choke and gag around his length; but Nanami takes his sweet time. When you eat, you savor every bite. And so he inches himself inside your hot mouth slowly, rolling his hips ever so slightly as your lips stretch around his cock. 

“Taking me so well,” he huffs, pulling his cock out and giving it a few strokes to cover it fully in your saliva. You whine in protest when he leaves you empty like this and Nanami clicks his tongue, followed by a quiet laugh. Your plush thighs rub together to chase the throbbing in your cunt, one hand of yours rubbing small circles against your clit. 

“So fucking needy.”

He gives you less time to adjust when he pushes in again but he knows you can take it. Everything he gives you, you accept so willingly; especially when it was his cock shoved down your throat. You gag around him when he bottoms out, holding still for a moment before he pulls himself out again, a thin thread of salvia connecting your lips and his leaking tip. Fuck. He was so pent up and so close already. 

Nanami lets go of your tits and slides his hand up to your throat instead, wrapping around it. He doesn’t tighten his fingers around it, just lets them linger there, caressing your soft skin gently. Underneath his grip he can feel his cock plunging in and out and the tiny vibrations caused by your moans. He always loves fucking your mouth, especially in this position; being able to watch the canvas of yours, how you play with yourself, your cunt probably dripping and aching to be filled like this, too. Poor thing, just one hole stuffed not enough for you. The thought makes his cock twitch, barely holding back anymore.

He hasn’t even cum once, but is already thinking about what positions he’ll have you in later tonight. On your knees, your hands restrained behind your back with his tie maybe. One hand tangled in your hair while you blow him, glassy eyes looking up at him when you take his cock down your throat again. He could have you ride a toy while doing so, just for the pleasure of watching you fall apart upon it, whining that it wasn’t enough, that you needed him. God. One day, you’ll be the death of him. 

“Stick your tongue out for me, darling,” he murmurs, voice gentle yet commanding. You cough for air a little when he pulls his cock out, only to suck his balls into your mouth a moment later while he fists himself above your face. The grip on his cock is so tight that the veins on the back of his hands and his forearm are showing. Eventually he comes with an unrestrained groan, spilling himself all over your face and your chest, panting heavily.

“That’s it, love, take it… so good for me…”

His cock is still twitching when you start lapping up his cum, eager to not let a single drop go to waste. He uses the moment to kick off his pants and briefs that were dangling loosely below his hips by now. It was too hot in this room anyway and what you two were doing wasn’t exactly helping with cooling down. Maybe one day you will have your wish fulfilled of getting your ass eaten from behind with the air conditioning on full blast, but today is not the day.

Nanami helps you sit up on the mattress again before he joins you there, kneeling between your spread thighs. You left a big stain from where you were fingerfucking yourself while he was buried in your throat. Big hands come to your waist and dig into your soft flesh, pulling you closer till you’re almost straddling his lap. You look so alluring, with his cum still warm and running down the valley between your chest, your eyes half-lidded and your lips slightly swollen from being wrapped around his cock. He grabs your chin and tilts your head to kiss you again, tasting himself on your tongue.

“Should I grab you some ice cream from the freezer to suck on while I fuck this needy cunt?”, he asks, sliding one hand from your waist between your thighs, running two fingers between your folds. You’re so wet for him.

“Your fingers will do,” you quip back, biting his bottom lip slightly as you put your hand above his, guiding him where you wanted to feel him. Two of his fingers slip inside you without any protest, he doesn’t have it in him to starve you of them any longer. Your head tips back into your neck in bliss, eyes closed as his digits curl up against your walls, rubbing that spot that makes your head spin. As you get closer to your edge again, your fingers curl around his wrist as if to stop him from removing his fingers too fast, too soon.

“Close,” you murmur and sigh sweetly when Nanami leans closer to kiss the side of your neck. He mutters praise against your sweaty skin while you rock back and forth on his fingers, a third added for extra pleasure. His thumb draws lazy circles around your clit, knowing you’re still sensitive from your orgasm prior. He loves watching you come undone from the lightest touch. 

Your slick is running down his wrist by the time you clench around his fingers in waves, your own fingers now tangled in his hair as you ride out your high. Nanami keeps his eyes open, not wanting to miss a single second of the sight unraveling before him. You look so stunning with your brows knit together, your mouth hanging a little loose, panting and moaning without any restraint. His cock rests hard and heavy against your soft stomach as he slowly draws his hand back, accompanied by a quiet whine of yours.

“So damn beautiful,” he whispers once again when he pushes you down gently onto the bed. Everything Nanami does, he does with utter care and this applies to you, too: Brushing a few loose strands of hair out of your face that were sticking to your temples, a pillow slid behind your head (with the cool side up), eyes scanning over you for any sight of discomfort. Your legs fall apart so easily for him, inviting him in. It’s quiet in the room, except for the sound of your heavy breathing and the ocean shore in the distance.

“Fuck me,” you beg quietly, your eyes not leaving his gaze either. Sometimes Nanami can’t help but wonder what you see when you look at him. If you get the same wondrous feeling in your chest that’s impossible to grasp with words. Something beyond life, beyond love. A whole universe coming apart at its seams just so the two of you could meet in this lifetime.

With one hand planted next to your head, the other around his cock, he guides himself between your spread thighs, the tip nudging your wet folds apart; so warm, welcoming. Made for him. His jaw clenches when you pull your heels towards your ass so you can lift your hips better, leaving him no other choice than to sink into your heat. It’s not like he could have waited any longer anyway. He’ll never get used to how tight you are, he thinks when you clench around him, so needy and sensitive. 

His free hand comes to the other side of your head onto the mattress and he gives you a sharp thrust, making you mewl. He stills inside of you, then slides his cock out almost completely and painfully slowly, till it’s barely just the tip, and then slams into you again. The way your soft body bounces underneath him with each thrust has him breathless. 

“So fucking tight. So perfect for me, darling,” he mutters as one of your hands spread your folds further apart, eyes trained on where you two are connected. The other rests on your soft tum, pressing down below your navel where you can feel him every time he bottoms out inside of you. Nanami’s lips find yours again, a small smile on them when yours part for him, his tongue slipping into your mouth. The kiss is hot and messy, all of your moans swallowed greedily by him, one of his hands coming around your throat again. 

“Harder,” you murmur, your legs now wrapping around his hips to pull him closer. From this position you’re now almost folded in half underneath him. His fingers around your neck twist a tiny bit tighter, which makes your cunt throb. Nanami sucks in a sharp breath. He is already getting closer to his edge again, the heat of your cunt filling him up and making him feel lightheaded with each thrust.

And your whimpers and moans–shit, Nanami could cum from the sound of them alone.

“So good for me… letting me stuff this pretty little cunt… gods, you’re so fucking wet for me, baby,” he growls, almost like a chant to draw out the edge he was balancing on. You look so perfect underneath him, twitching around him, your eyes rolled back, toes curling, taking everything he’s giving you. Nanami hears his own blood rushing down from his head into his core, an almost primal sound leaving his throat when you cum underneath him for a third time, milking him dry. He allows himself to let go of all self-restraint and follows a few heartbeats after into the aftershock of your orgasm. 

His feral side stirs to life again, licking up on him like flames when he spills himself inside of your cunt. How badly he needs to breed you, stuff you so full of him till you’re dripping, fuck you again and again till your body remembers the shape of him forever. 

Nanami’s jaw clenches, breathing heavily. His cock doesn’t soften inside of you, just keeps on throbbing with an insatiable hunger.

“Fuck, darling,” he groans, leaning down to find your mouth again. His forehead rests against yours, your breaths mingling. You find yourself drowning in the darkness of his eyes, pupils blown wide, drunk on you. “Can we…?”

You kiss him back and nod slowly, hazily almost. Blissfully fucked out, full and warm of his seed and his love.

Nanami pulls slowly out of you, watching how your hole pulses from the absence of his cock, your juices and his cum leaking out of you. He cups your cunt and smears your release all over the insides your thighs and your soft stomach, watching you squirm, before he brings his fingers to his mouth and sucks them clean. Your chest is still heaving as you try to catch your breath. 

By now the sun was slowly setting, dipping the room into warm shades of red, orange and gold, making you look even more divine when you roll over and get on all fours, back arched for him. You look like the most beautiful mess he has ever seen. For a moment he just lets his eyes linger on you, taking in how you dip your fingers inside of you like honey, spreading your cheeks to lure him into taking you mercilessly. A deep, growling sound rumbles in Nanami’s chest when he lines himself up against you from behind once more. 

His hands are cupping each of your ass cheeks, pulling them apart to have a perfect view of how he sinks into you again. He sets a harsh pace from the start this time, the slaps of his skin against yours echoing from every wall. You’re so wet, almost gushing with every thrust. 

Nanami brings a thumb back up to your puckered hole, spitting on it just for the sake of it, then letting his thumb rest there until you’re practically pushing yourself onto his digit. His free hand kneads the tender flesh of your ass while he stills for a few breaths to give you time to adjust to the new sensation. The sight of you below him takes his breath away once again; your bodies connected, pulsing around each other in the same rhythm. 

“That’s it, love… fuck, you’re so perfect…”, Nanami huffs when he slowly picks up his thrusts again, keeping his thumb hooked in your other hole, you moaning underneath him. “Made for taking all of me…”

Neither of you would last much longer, too sensitive and overheated by now, but fuck, he would make this one worthwhile. All he needs for tonight is seeing you come undone on his cock one last time.

Stuffed in two holes, a certain kind of feral lust shoots through your body like lighting, making you tremble like a sacrificial lamb on the altar. Paired with the ferocity of his thrusts it’s enough for your arms to give in and make you toggle over, landing face down in a pillow. Nanami’s free hand comes up to the back of your neck, pinning you down there as he keeps fucking into your throbbing cunt. His thick cock splits you open, pounding into you as if this was his sole purpose, your name falling from his lips in a low and husky voice.

“Cum for me, darling, just let go, yeah? Need to feel you milk my cock one last time… you’re so good, so fucking perfect for me…”

It’s all too much; the tight grip on the back of your neck like prey being caught, his cock reaching deep into your stomach with each thrust, his thumb playing with your ass… it makes you whimper and whine, but oh, you take him so well, like you’re made for him. Your eyes roll back and you let out a primal sound between a moan and a sob, then your whole body tenses and finally releases all this built up pleasure like a firework, making your skin prickle and your mind go blank.

Nanami curses under his breath and follows you over the edge shortly after, pressing his whole body weight into you as he buries his cock deep inside your twitching cunt, filling you up with his cum. It’s hot and thick inside of you, gushing out on the sides of your pussy when he ruts against you, fucking it deeper inside. 

His hand on your neck doesn’t move. 

“Hold still and be good for me. I’ll cum in your ass, too,” he growls and slides his thumb out, making you whine at the feeling of emptiness. When he leaves your cunt clenching around nothing, only your juices and his seed dripping out of it, he immediately lines himself up against your asshole, pushing just the tip into it before his cock can soften. No, he wouldn’t be satisfied until he filled all of your holes tonight. 

“Go deeper,” you plead, whimpering in sheer pleasure when he inches himself into your tight ass. “I can take it.”

Nanami knows you can. He has seen you take him up your ass before, and yet it was still a sight that will make him suck his breath in. So fucking tight. He goes slower this time, not wanting you to tear from the sheer size of him and without having you stretched out properly beforehand; but he’s so fucking overstimulated already anyway, just staying buried this deep inside of you and letting you throb around him would be enough squeeze the lift out of him.

He leans down and kisses your spine before he fucks you harder into the mattress with a few more harsh thrusts, then he reaches his point of no return and cums deeps inside of you again. He slumps down on top of you, face nuzzled in the crook of your neck, breathing heavily against your skin while you hum quietly in a state of pure bliss. You stay like this for a bit, time becoming nothing but a blur.

With the last bits of his strength, Nanami eventually pushes himself up again, pulling his softening cock out and watching his cum trickle out of your hole, down the insides of your thighs into the sheets. Such a big, beautiful mess that you’ve made. He gently kneads the flesh of your ass soothingly before he lays down besides you, holding one arm out for you to crawl in. 

Nanami presses a few kisses against your temples and the top of your head when you rest your head on his chest. He’s sure you can feel his heart still pounding, only slowly coming down from his high. His arm wraps around your naked form and pulls you close to him. The sticky heat doesn’t matter at that moment, all he wants is to feel you close. At this moment the whole world is shrinking down to just the two of you, right here, in this golden afterglow.

“I really missed you,” he whispers against your hair, repeating what he had said earlier. He holds you so close, there’s no space for you to wiggle out of his embrace. Not that you wanted to. His fingers brush up and down your spine in the most tender way. 

“You’re here now,” you mumble back, your eyes closed as you bask in his affection, only slowly coming back to your senses. You have been sticky and sweaty before, but now you were practically in shambles, your guts rearranged and all three of your holes sore. You let out an airy laugh.

He really devoured you. 

You press a few kisses against his chest and his collarbone before propping yourself up on your elbows, facing him. Nanami cups one side of your face, thumb brushing over your cheek. He already knows that look on your face all too well, and he smiles.

“You didn’t happen to buy a watermelon on your way home?”, you ask and tilt your head to the side, one finger drawing lazy circles onto his chest. The cravings on your face were clear as day.

Nanami chuckles and shakes his head. He should have known better and listen to his guts earlier when he walked home and brought that damn watermelon. He wasn’t the only one with hunger in his eyes, one that could never be fully satisfied. Maybe that’s why the two of you fell in love all this time ago. When you can feast off each other, you never run out of anything else either. Not lust, not passion, not love.  

“I’ll go and buy you that watermelon in a minute, for being so good to me,” he murmurs with a lazy smile. The expression you’re showing him right now, with your chin resting on his chest was one of triumph and contentment. Both of you know that he’d never deny you any joy of life, and if it came in the form of a round, juicy fruit, then so be it.

Is he looking forward to leaving this bed and putting on clothes again? Absolutely not. Will he do it for you, anyway? 

Yes, always. 

When it’s you, anything, anytime. 

Nanami’s love for you could move mountains, but for now he is glad to just let time stand still with you; here in this place you both call your home.

[abstractnaturaldisaster]

is it over now? (was it over then?)

part seven

part eight: i think about jumping off of very tall somethings

Eddie was fully convinced he had lost whatever remaining dignity he might have had when his friends had found him sunken into his beanbag chair with random detritus strewn around the room. He really thought he could not feel any lower than when Ronnie made it more obvious than necessary that she was picking her way through Eddie's junk to stick a hand into his nest and pull him out by his collar. He thought that was rock bottom, but being early for coffee with Robin and Nancy and having to wait with a cooling americano he spent way too much money on really gave that whole experience a run for its money.

Ronnie had suggested dming Robin and Nancy and testing the waters to see if they would be willing to broker some sort of reunion with Steve. Eddie stared at her like she had suggested he deliver the one ring to mordor alone; however, she obviously had a point since the newly announced couple suggested meeting up.

"Hey! Eddie! Sorry we're late!" Robin caught Eddie's attention as Nancy went to order.

"Oh, uh, no worries," Eddie fumbled, "I'm just happy you're here at all honest."

"I mean, Nance said it's only fair to hear you out but you were fucking brutal to my best friend, dude, so like the window to give you some grace is pretty fucking small," Robin answered.

"No, yeah totally understood. How do you want to do this?" Eddie asked.

"Why don't you just explain what happened from your side of things. From our angle, you look like kind of a douche but also I feel like maybe Steve didn't handle things great either? I dunno. I mean, you made him really happy, if we have a chance to fix that, I think I owe it to Steve, right?" Robin answered.

"Sure, yeah, no that makes sense," Eddie started as Nancy sat down with her and Robin's drinks.

"Keep going, Eddie, this is mostly Robin's thing anyway," Nancy prompted. She did not look quite as open to fixing things as Robin did and Eddie felt a little more nervous after he let himself relax in Robin's easy presence.

"For sure, so like obviously you know all of the like tabloid bullshit about Steve and whatever and like I kind of got it and understood but then without any warning I show up and Steve's like gorgeous and super successful ex was just on his couch and Steve isn't willing to explain? I mean that was pretty fucking hard to swallow," Eddie finished a little less certain of where he stood with Robin as she narrowed her eyes over her tea.

"So instead of trusting Steve and listening to him when he told you how much the tabloids have lied about him throughout his career you let the fact that I was present in his home be enough to trump years of what you all had built?" Nancy questioned. Eddie could see her journalism chops coming out.

"That's fair. I mean, I definitely acted without a lot of thought but like, why wouldn't you have looped me in? Did you guys not trust me?" Eddie asked still trying to figure out why he was left flat footed all those weeks ago.

"I think that might be on me," Robin piped up, "I was pretty nervous about coming out and I think Steve was being super protective and didn't want to ask me to come out to more people than I was wanting to. It's not that he didn't trust you, Eddie, it's that we had some pretty shitty years with different agents trying to push me in different directions and I think he just was sick of feeling like outside forces were making me move quicker than I was ready to. And it's not like you made it easy on him to reach out to you after. How was he supposed to respond when you blocked him on literally every platform?"

"I guess I didn't think he would want to explain or he'd try to like explain everything away even though it had seemed obvious at the time he was cheating on me," Eddie paused when both Robin and Nancy threw death glares across the table, "Jeez, I know now that was stupid but at the time it was the only rational I could see."

"I guess we should stop interrogating you, you do seem pretty serious, otherwise I don't think you would have agreed to meet both of us," Nancy jumped in.

"I really regret cutting him off like I did. I know I got way too in my head about everything immediately and just didn't give it time or let him respond," Eddie tried to sound as apologetic as he felt.

"We believe you, you two are both dinguses," Robin cut in, "more importantly, what are we going to do about that fucking song and how the hell do you propose apologizing for all the shit you stirred?"

"I thought we were done with the interrogation," Eddie held his hands up.

"Only about whether or not you're genuine, you still have to figure out how you are putting my bestie back together," Robin answered.

"So about that. I have a couple ideas. One, I feel like a song got us into this mess and my label wants more music anyways so I am kind of thinking of an apology song. The rest of my band has actually started workshopping some stuff with me to try to put it together as soon as we can. I'm kind of hoping to release it before Steve gets back so we are a bit under the clock," Eddie began, "And second, that's where I was kind of hoping you guys could help. I don't want to like ambush the guy but I also don't know if Steve will be interested in meeting with me or like ready to start dating again. I was kind of hoping I could crash one of your movie nights? Maybe once Steve gets settled a bit more?"

"Steve is not the best with surprises," Robin thought aloud, "but that's not a no, it's a convince me."

"I just figure he'll be in his space and relaxed and he also fully has an out to have you kick me out if he isn't interested. If he is, I was kind of hoping you too would be willing to make yourselves scarce?" Eddie hoped that was enough.

Surprisingly, Nancy was the one to answer.

"I think we have a deal, Munson," Nancy stuck her hand out for Eddie to shake.

Eddie left the cafe feeling more hopeful than he had in some time.

part nine

@lololol-1234 @swimmingbirdrunningrock @zombiethingy @grtwdsmwhr @dreamercec @anne-bennett-cosplayer @strawberryyyenthusiast

@mensch-anthropos-human @kal-ology @ttyrussss @kristmkris @starman-jpg @wonderland-girl143-blog @child-of-cthulhu @legalmenace87 @adealwithher @practicallybegging @lunaraquaenby @stripey82

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(if you wanna be tagged in future parts feel free to comment! happy to add people)

[just-an-enby-lemon]

Another one of my silly Epic headcannons is that Athena was also training baby Diomedes while she was training baby Ody.

Now while she helped heros Athena tended to try to not be at all involved with them. She even chose a champion but kept her distance. That is until her champion just decided to eat a guys brain.

She decided that not only she needed a new champion she needed someone she could mold so they would met her standards and more importantly not comit canibalism in front of her for no reason. First move magic boar.

Except she got bored no one was solving her test and did a move that would have very different results when repeated and went check on Tydeus kid. Six years old Diomedes was smart, dedicated and thanks to being raised as a child soldier already really good with a spear. And she was like "oh perfect". Unlike Ody, Dio is shy and very awed/respectfull at first.

Less than a year later ten year old Odysseus solves her test (now Diomedes is sayed to be four when his dad died, I'm not making that one up, but Ody's age is very open, Epic implies he already had Athena when he became king at 13 so I'm going with 10, the boar was his Pokemon journey). So she now has two chances.

She never figths with Diomedes but they get distant for a bit. When she goes for Telemachus she is hoping for second Diomedes and instead she remembers that a) Ody is one of her kids at this point b) she actually likes Odysseus c) Ody didn't ate people. Besides 3 warriors are better than one. She soons recognizes she just has 3 mortal friends.

Before the Troyan War Dio and Ody were not friends, buddies, Diomedes gay awakening, and in fact didn't know about the other except via Athena weird questions. Some memorable moments:

- When Odysseus becames king and is overwhelmed by anxiety and sadness over his father condicion. Athena goes "Diomedes what humans do when their fathers go mad" and Dio is "my dad is dead" + "how do I deal with my human being sad and anxious and make sure he'll be a good king when he is a child?" "I'm literally nine"

- Athena fails to explain her worries about Diomedes fate as a kid soldier and instead Ody is fully convinced she wants him to invade Thebes and starts to get ready for when the order comes. "Okay, goddess, for real do you want me to invade Thebes or not?" and Athena is like "No, but hypotetically if it distressed you" "It does sound distressing" "How do I help a crying human" "Have you tried conforting them? Maybe offer a hug."

- Thanks to Odysseus Athena knows puberty is a big deal for humans. But unlike Ody, Dio does not have active and present parents to help. So Athena goes to older teen Ody "how did your parents give you the talk?" and Odysseus is fully dying of embarassmenet after the conversation is over but Athena now has enough notes to give a sort of decent talk to her other kid.

- The moment Diomedes turns 17 Athena is fully expecting another "pleasepleasepleaseplease help me with Penelope" situation so they have akwards "Do you want me to like wingman you" conversations for a bit. [When Diomedes actually starts liking someone it is Odysseus and Athena is just "you have bad taste good luck with that one" and very unhelpfull].

- After getting bad advice from Dionysus and trolling from Apollo, Athena finally goes to her other human to ask for help about not noticing her human was expecting + tiny baby in no armor. Diomedes got his talk from Athena and suddently realizes he actually has no idea how babies are born and has very weird conversations with his war friends.

- Athena is fully used to talking to her champions and not being heard by anyone else. This cauuses a small problem when she is trying to advice Odysseus about Iphigenia and Diomedes is fully "what are you talking about?" and that how the War Crimes (with Extra Lying) Trio is founded.

- Unrelated but after realizing Telemachus could think it really was a Tydeus situation except with forgiving Athena goes to Telemachus to assure him his dad was not a family-murdering cannibal. Telemachus knows Ody would never kill his family but he had never even considered his father and cannibal in the same sentence before and is very concerned over why Athena felt the sudden urge to promisse him his dad never ate people.

[riririnnnn]

It's a follow up post for this, but this post makes sense on its own too.

I have always been the younger sibling, so I can't understand an older sibling's feelings, but I wonder if Sae gets glimpses of what things used to be; if he sees Rin when the younger one isn't paying attention, and just reminiscences when they were kids.

Way too many things are going on during the U-20 arc, so it's not uncommon for the readers to miss something especially if they are binge reading it. That's why, I never actually saw people talking about the fact that we DID, in a way, get a reason why Sae chose Shidou out of all the Blue Lock-ers.

However, we didn't get this from a Narrator's POV or Sae's POV, that's why we can't FULLY trust it, so it makes me think if Sae chose Shidou because he couldn't choose Rin. Sae might've thought that there wasn't a better way to test out Rin until and unless he went against him instead of alongside.

Which brings me this panel again:

Rin in that panel just.. I don't know how to articulate it. "I saw what I came for, and I'm satisfied." Was Sae talking about Rin?

Further, I think Sae got fired up when he heard Shidou was going to play too because he wanted to rub it on Rin's face like, "Look, I'm siding with him. I'm passing to him and not you. He is better than you that's why." And I believe that he was doing it purposely.

I'll explain why, look here:

The above panel was before Rin went berserk, and you can clearly see that he was still trying to be like Sae. Like his Nii-chan.

But when he got free from this thing that was holding him back as he says, he went into his flow and ho, ho, ho, look what he said:

He became himself instead of being someone of somebody.

Also, during the time he was going into his flow state, this is what his inner monologue said:

Him going batshit crazy actually stole the spotlight from everything. It's clearly a new perspective of that flashback, and after that Sae was completely attentive to Rin. It was almost as if Sae WAS expecting this to happen, yet the intensity of it caught him off guard for a while too.

After that the focus of the game just became Sae Vs Rin, and the older Itoshi continued to rile the younger one by saying, "You still don't get it? You can't be the best in the world," and lalalalalalala.

HOWEVER,

This thing low-key took off the attention from the fact that Sae didn't pass to anyone during that time. He went along with Rin in their 1V1, and this thing was also pointed out by the news article where it said something along the line of, "The internet says Sae held the ball for too long and he should've passed." (Chapter 152)

It has to be purposely.

It was Rin who stole the ball from him and Isagi got to hit it.

Further, this:

It's giving new perspective to everything now. Also, he says, "Nii-chan." It seems like a trivial thing to point out, but if you know, you know.

That's why, I kinda think that Sae knows that his words affects Rin a lot. That's why he praised Isagi, so that Rin wouldn't forget/lose his Ego. It makes more sense since in the same chapter (152), Rin says like, "In that moment, I won against Nii-chan." Which is true, he stole the ball, but his ending words of that monologue was, "But Isagi gained everything. He (Sae) recognised him and not me."

But what if Sae had recognised Rin verbally?

I bet Rin would've lost his new found real Ego, and would've ended up like Nagi did when he scored against Isagi in the BM Vs Manshine City match.

So, I think Sae wants Rin to be Rin. Not Itoshi Sae's younger brother Rin, but the real Rin because Sae didn't want him to be a mirror image of him since he wasn't enough in world stage of soccer.

Personally, I'm sorry for mixing my own emotions, but I have went through what Rin went through. No, I wasn't completely starstruck by my older sibling like him, but I indeed felt really humiliated, and that humiliation actually helped me improve. Everything is fine now, we got more trauma in our life, so we bonded over it and we are chill af now, but, deep in my heart, a little girl will always be present with a mild, gentle resentment for being treated unkindly.

That's why I think that Sae did what he had to do to help Rin improve which sadly, costed them their brotherhood.

I know I'm slightly backtracking from this post.

But I do want to believe that whatever Sae did, he did it FOR Rin and NOT for their shared dream to be the best striker in the world.

For a sports animanga, Rin-Sae relation is actually way complicated and deep. I hope Kaneshiro-san will do justice to everything.

But in the end, they are fictional and their realities will become whatever the author wants it to be.

Till then, we can only speculate.

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It'd be funny if they go into therapy together and their trauma is just:

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