#i think i need to talk about moving departments in a few months. but that's not going to happen anytime soon

[megkuna]

i so badly don't want to go to work tmrw i am so tired of all this bs. legit feel gaslit every time i talk to one of the managers it always goes like

me: i'm struggling and don't see the benefits of this dumbass thing you're having us do for the next 1.5yrs

manager: ah yes!!!! you see there. :) the struggling IS the benefit :)

like ok so like torture then?

[advluv4life]

When you haven't even touched your homework because you're too busy journaling about these stupid jealous feelings you're getting in your baby of a relationship because it's just who you are. And you really don't want to fuck the relationship so you're just journaling it to see if maybe it helps you rationalize how ridiculous it is to think that your boyfriend of less than a month is going to dump you for some girl who is indeed much prettier than you (no matter how I look at it she is much prettier than me (there's a bit more to it but that's def something I think...) and they're going to get married in like 5 weeks. Like, it's not going to happen that way again, right? That doesn't happen every time and the idea that it would happen (considering what I know about him and how I know nothing about her)...there is no way I need to be this anxious this feeling just engulfs my entire soul and I just I can't breathe. I don't want to do that. I want to be the person who doesn't do that but I don't know how to be that person. I don't know what that person does instead of feeling the way I feel.

Help.

[afterglowsainz]

i'mgonnagetyouback pt. 2 | max verstappen

part 1

summary: max is determined to win y/n back before leaving las vegas and an unexpected reunion at the hotel's pool might be just what he needed

warnings: none

word count: 1.5k

a/n: okay so i wasn't actually planning on doing a part 2 to this but a few people requested it and since i'm a pathological people pleaser here it its !!

the tortured athletes department series

“okay so, step one.” charles’s voice caughts his attention.

if max was gonna get y/n back, he needed to do it that weekend, she was leaving for her other tour dates and he had other races, and he needed a plan. that’s where charles, daniel and lando come in.

“break up with your girlfriend.” the monegasque continues. the other two men in the room nod, agreeing with the ferrari driver.

the second y/n’s concert finished, max felt the urge to go running backstage to her just like old times, but his plans were interrupted by the women he went to the concert with in the first place. his girlfriend wanted nothing more than to go back to the hotel and her daughter was too exhausted to even walk in a straight line, so he took them both to the hotel and then ran into charles’s room to create a plan, calling daniel and lando to join them.

“you’re right.” max says.

the thought of breaking up with his current girlfriend has been on the back of his mind for a while now. he didn’t really wanted to accept it, but he’s been in love with y/n all this time and it just wasn’t fair to be with someone else. step one was the most urgent.

“step two, call y/n and tell her that you wanna talk to her.” daniel speaks this time.

this one was the step he was the most nervous about. they haven’t talked for ten months and now suddenly he was thinking of getting back together, i mean, what if she moved on already? just because he hasn’t doesn’t mean she didn’t either; but he remembered her singing a few hours ago about getting him back, even if it was just to punch him in the face. he would take what he can get.

“maybe mention that you went to see her show as well.” lando adds.

“what if she thinks i’m a creep or something?” charles gives him an incredulous look.

“mate, come on, you’re her ex, not some random dude.” max nods again and felt the stress of anticipation already creeping in.

“it’ll be fine, max, nothing to worry about.” daniel tries to reassure him and lando smiles at him in the same way.

he exhales and stands up from the chair he was seated on.

“i should go back to my room. start things with the right foot.” they all agree with him and wish him good luck.

when he got back to his room, he saw his girlfriend’s daughter already asleep on her bed and his girlfriend laying down and watching something on tv. he prepared himself internally and went into the room.

“hey.” he says. “can we talk?”

he was quick. it was as uncomfortable as breaking up with someone is, but he felt a bit relieved after. she tried to persuade him into thinking about it, he said he didn’t want to hurt her. he told her they could stay at that room and he would just ask for another at the reception, she agreed. she asked if this was because of y/n, he stayed silent for a moment. he couldn’t lie, not that it was all already out there, and y/n was not a secret he had to hide to anyone. he said yes. she asked him to get out. he did.

max went down to the hotel’s reception and asked for an extra room. since it was a bit late at night they asked him to wait an hour until they arranged one of the suites for him. he agreed without complaining and was about to head back to charles’s room, however, already on the elevator he impulsively pressed the button for the last floor that took him directly to the pool. it was dark and there was no one there, the dim lights on the inside of the pool being the only lightning.

he walked over to the balcony and admired the view of las vegas beneath him, from his position he could see the whole downtown, including the track that he would be driving that weekend. if he wouldn’t have been too distracted he would have heard the sound of small steps going his way, stopping right at the entrance.

you thought you were seeing things, or that you had gone mad. you blink twice, and when he didn’t disappear, you knew max verstappen was standing right in front of you. you could recognize him anywhere.

the uncomfortable burning feeling of being looked at got the best of him and he finally turned around. he didn’t say anything, thinking it was his imagination playing games, but it wasn’t, you were right there, just mere inches away from him.

“y/n.” was all he could say. he figured a hello would be the way to go. “hey.”

you looked just as shocked as he was, but that didn’t stop you from answering.

“hi, max.” your voice was more confident than how you actually felt.

you had just done a three hour show and just wanted to relax a bit in the pool before going back to your room, and now you were there, facing your ex-boyfriend.

“you’re staying here?” he asks, regretting it instantly because of course you were.

“yeah.” you answer, not moving a single centimeter. “i have a few shows this weekend.” you explain.

“i know.” he says, almost too quickly. you arch a brow at him but don’t say anything. “i’m racing here this weekend.” you nod.

“i know.” you copy his answer, although you take a few more moments to say it.

“i went to your show.” he says out of nowhere.

this shocks you even more than before because what does he mean he went to your show?

“what?” is all that you could mumble.

“tonight.” he clarifies. “i went to see you. i hope you don’t think that’s… inappropriate.” his eyes finally leave yours and he looks at the pool instead.

“i don’t think… why would it be inappropriate?” you ask, a bit flabbergasted still. “i don’t think that.”

he nods relieved to hear you say that.

“so you went to the show?” you ask again. “you heard me sing all those songs?” you question, a bit shy.

“yeah, it was incredible.” he smiles at you. “you’re the most talented person i know.”

this makes you blush because he still has that power over you. you couldn’t manage to thank him for the compliment, so you just smiled at him, which was enough for him.

“i liked your surprise song.” he states, more confident this time.

“oh.” you reply. “you did?” he nods. “yeah, i guess it’s a fun song.” you chuckle, knowing damn well you wrote it thinking about him.

this was it, he thought. this was the moment he had been fantasizing about since he stepped into the stadium that night. how to get y/n back? this was his opportunity to do something. no charles, daniel or lando to whisper in his ear. it was all him.

“is it true?” he questions.

“what?” you frown.

“what you were singing in the song?” he explains. “i’m not gonna flatter myself thinking you wrote it about me, but, did you?”

you bit your lip trying not to laugh. how could you confess that to him?

“are you asking me if i want you back?” he notices that you ignored his question, but he didn’t care.

“i know i do.” you looked at him for a few seconds too long, processing his answer.

“i thought you had a girlfriend?” you mumble and he shakes his head.

“we’re not together anymore.” finally, he moves slowly from the other end of the balcony toward you and you remain still. “i’ve always been yours.”

you look at him properly this time, you could see every detail of his face now with how close he was to you and you felt like the ten months you haven’t talked to him hadn’t passed at all.

“and i can understand if you moved on already, but i must tell you i haven’t, for me it has always been you.”

the reasons of why you had broken up all those months ago seemed so silly now. he wasn’t a bad guy, and you weren’t a bad person. your break up wasn’t ugly, both of you had just been too busy with your crazy schedules and you thought ending things would be for the best, but not a day had passed where you didn’t regret that decision.

max was everything, and he was here in front of you, asking for a second chance.

“and when i saw you tonight at your show and i just fell more in love if that’s even possible, and i thought of all the time we wasted and i…”

you touched his face with tenderness and cut him off with a kiss that was long due.

—

liked by maxverstappen1, lilymhe and 5.482.049 others

yourusername viva las vegas! 🏁 incredible crowd for and incredible night ⭐️

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user1 omg best day of my life 😭

user2 night 1 post we wonnn

user3 girl we see that emoji 👀

user4 we see max in the likes too 👀

user5 please don’t start this i couldn’t take it 😩

user6 max at the concert, she posted pictures and she sung imgonnagetyouback as a surprise song, las vegas n1 really won 😭

user7 MAX WAS AT THE CONCERT ???

liked by yourusername, schecoperez and 893.482 others

maxverstappen1 Brand new, full throttle… 🏎

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redbullracing congrats legend! 🏆

user8 the only time he smiled during this whole weekend 😭

user9 max is so me cause i also talked shit about this race only to lowkey enjoy it at the end

user10 not him using the lyrics of so high school 😭😭

user11 sir is there something we should know? 👀

yourusername who’s that grand prix winner? 😮‍💨

maxverstappen1 i love you ❤️

user12 WHAT SINCE WHEN

user13 chat is this real ???

user14 y/nstappen back together the earth is healing 🤍

liked by francisca.cgomez, maxverstappen1 and 7.482.949 others

yourusername where’s the trophy? he just comes running over to me 💘

tagged maxverstappen1

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user15 EXCUSE ME MA’AM ???

user16 omg y/nstappen i used to pray for times like this‼️

user17 the alchemy mentioned we won !!!

user18 Y/NSTAPPEN NATION LET’S RISE

alexandrasaintmleux so happy to have you back in the paddock🫶🏽💞

yourusername girl i’m happy to be back😭

user19 the fact that he actually run over to her after winning the race ohhh i’m so normal about them 😩

user20 MAX VERSTAPPEN CAN YOU FIGHT?

maxverstappen1 could never fight the alchemy❤️

yourusername my maxxx ❤️

user21 pls they’re the cutest 😭

[cherriesformatt]

time of the month || matt sturniolo

matt x fem!reader

summary: you get your period at work and feel like crap but you have the best caring bf ever

warnings: pure fluff, period, throwing up

word count: 1,2k

I was in the middle of a meeting when I felt it. I got my period. What a great start of a day. After the meeting was over I went to the bathroom and realized I only have one tampon, no pads and no painkillers. Which is the worst because I already was starting feeling like crap. That's how it always is with me. The minute I get my period I start having cramps and I feel like passing out. It was only one so I had four more hours of work. I got new purse and I forgot to transfer everything from the old one to this. My period was suppose to come in two days so I wasn't ready. The worst thing is that my department is mostly man and there is no tampons in our public bathroom. I need to change that. I went back to the office and started to work. I could survive on that tampon but I really needed the painkillers. I picked my phone from my desk when the time came I could only think about the pain not on my work. I decided to call my boyfriend. I did not want to because I knew he is out with some friends filming. But he was my only other choice.

"Hi, y/n everything okay?" He picked up after two signals.

I never called him at work so he probably got worried.

"Hi, yes, I mean no I feel like I am going to die from cramps but I do not have any painkillers... and I need pads and tampons and I wouldn't call you for that but I am really in pain. I am sorry I forgot to pack everything to my new work bag" I said.

"Oh...how about you call in sick? I'll come pick you up and we will go to my place? I pick up stuff from your apartment on my way. I am sorry baby..." He said.

First day and night of my period was the worst for me. He knew that. Gladly it was Friday so tomorrow I could rot in bed.

"Are you sure? You guys are still out filming?" I asked to make sure.

"Yup, just wrapped up with Jake and on our way back you are on the speaker actually" He said.

"Oh..I am sorry boys that you had to listen to period talk" I said knowing Nick and Chris are there.

"No problem kid, sorry you feel bad" Chris said and Nick yelled from the back that he loves me and will give my all the chocolate.

I smiled.

"Okay I'll wrap up at work and will wait for you. Thanks I love you" I said and I hanged up when he said his goodbye.

They came pick me up 30 minutes later and I was already waiting in front of the building. I climbed in the back since Chris was already sitting next to Matt.

"I would switch with you" Chris said and I only shook my head.

"Hi...Its okay let's just drive home, I need to lay down" I said resting my head on the seat and closed my eyes.

"Hi... here Matt took this from your place" Nick said.

I opened my eyes and saw Nick holding water and ibuprofen for me.

“Thank you…” I took it.

I wanted to talk to them but I just felt like I could pass out any minute. I fall asleep the minute I gave Nick back the water.

“Hey… sweetheart we’re home” I felt Matt’s hand on my shoulder and heard his voice.

I opened my eyes. We were in their garage.

“Oh… sorry I fall asleep” I said.

“Don’t be silly you’re not feeling well. Do you want me to carry you? I already took all the stuff to my room” he said.

“No it’s okay” he moved so I could exit the car.

The moment I stood on my feet I hugged him tight.

“Hello” I said and smiled when I smelled my favorite scent in the whole world. Just him.

He laughed and kissed my head wrapping his arms around me.

“Hi love… let’s go upstairs,hm?” He stroked my back and kissed my forehead few times again and than my lips.

I smiled and moved away a little and we went upstairs.

I had a small talk with his brothers and than I went to take a shower and changed in comfortable clothes. When I came back into Matt’s room he was sitting at his desk. There were snack and food on his bed and my bag was next to the bed as well with target bag full of period stuff I needed.

“Matt… thank you you’re the best” I said and he smiles and stood up.

“Let’s eat knowing you last thing you ate was breakfast” he said and I made a face at him because that was true.

I felt a little better because the meds kicked in.

We ate dinner talking about our day and then Matt cleaned up and put on some movie.

I didn’t even know when I was asleep again but when I woke up the clock was showing 4 am. I was in so much pain and I felt like throwing up. I helped myself up on my arms and stood up. I went to the bathroom and just fell on my knees in front of the toilet. I did not really pay attention if Matt was up or not. But after I let everything out I felt cold towel being put on my neck and my hair was put in the ponytail. I wiped my mouth with the paper and flushed the toilet. I sat on the floor and rested my back on the shower glass.

"Baby....here" Matt gave me water in the cup and he was holding more medicine in his hands.

I opened my mouth and he helped me with it. I swallowed and closed my eyes for a second.

"I am so sorry I woke you up and you had to see this." I said.

I don't know why it was so bad this month. I always had bad periods but lately it was just like I couldn't walk and live for two days.

"Y/n its okay it is not your fault and also I am sorry that you have to feel all this pain I know I would probably die already" He said and it made my laugh.

"Yes I know you would" I said.

"Change and let's go back to bed I'll go grab the heated pad for you" He helped me up. He already brought the stuff to the bathroom.

I brushed my teeth and cleaned myself up and came back to the room. I climbed back to bed and Matt brought me close to his body. His hand slipped under my shirt and waist of my loose shorts. Not in any sexual way. He started to gently massage my abdomen.

"The heating pad is on the night stand for the nigh but it has to warm up" He said and I nodded.

"Matt I love you, you are the best thing that happened to me" I said and I had tears in my eyes. Because of the little things he did for me and him trying to ease my pain. I just wanted to cry.

"Don't cry, please" He said and kissed my shoulder.

"Im sorry its because of the hormones I swear" I laughed.

"Goodnight baby try to get some rest. I love you" He said.

I turned my head and gave him a quick kiss and he smiled a little.

"Goodnight" I said.

[guytransformedforever]

Office competition

You were sitting in a stuffy office in a conference room surrounded by a dozen of your colleagues and a boring boss. An unremarkable Tuesday. Your thoughts were flying far away throughout the meeting. You flipped through the tape on your phone while your boss showed graphs of departments that did not concern you, talked about profitability and costs. Your gaze fell on the window, the boss's projector, on the table, the enthusiastic face of Jake Strey. This guy is weird, always trying to stand out in front of the boss and earn his trust. And now he literally catches his every word and agrees with stupid exclamations.

"So colleagues. The meeting is coming to an end. And I would like to thank Mr. Graves separately. He worked for the benefit of our company for 40 years and is retiring. On behalf of the whole company, I wish him a wonderful holiday." The conference room burst into applause and the old, plump Mr. Graves was handed a large box with a present.

"Nevertheless," the boss continued, "now the position of the head of the department will be vacant. I will hire someone who will do the best job this month." At this point, you had to strain yourself, because the boss's gaze was also directed in your direction. You didn't mind the promotion, but the extra workload didn't appeal to you, although if it's guaranteed to give you a raise, why not. You were also surprised by the expression on Jake's face: genuine discontent and jealousy – that's what was read in the eyes of this thin guy.

Well… The next 2 weeks were difficult. Overtime and heavy workloads. Recycling didn't do you any good. You lived on coffee and stress. One Friday evening, you were sitting late at night finishing a project again when you heard a modest "cough-cough". You thought all your colleagues had already left. Looking up, you saw Jake holding 2 cups of coffee.

"I'm sorry if I disturbed you. I'm working late here too today. I thought coffee would be good for both of us." You thanked Jake and took the coffee. The fragrance was amazing. With strange notes. Lavender? Hibiscus? "Of course I see you as a competitor for the position, but you still need to help your colleagues," Jake's words were soothing, but his expression was distant and slightly scared. The guy nodded and retreated to his desk.

Without giving it any importance, you went back to work. The coffee was delicious and you didn't even notice how you drained the cup. Jake was giving you sidelong glances at the time. A few minutes later, you felt a strange burning sensation in your chest, your stomach rumbled and then suddenly: "Buuurrrppp" a terrible belch left your mouth. You've never done this before. Did your body react strangely to the coffee? That's nonsense. The burning sensation did not go away, you felt yourself getting hot. Your limbs are weak, and your vision is slightly blurred... you leaned on the back of the chair and unbuttoned your tie. What the hell? You saw Jake's figure approaching you.

"Damn, I didn't think it would work so fast. Haha, but what did I expect? The mysterious potions of change from the black market do not contain complete instructions," you heard Jake's voice.

What was in that coffee? Did that bastard poison you? You tried to focus your eyes, reach for your phone, but your body wouldn't listen to you. The stomach rumbled again, but this time the intestines also moved in unison with it. You made 2 sounds at the same time. "BUUUUURRPPRUU", "PPFPFPFTTTPPPPFFFFF" - echoed through the office. You were terribly embarrassed by it.… The smell was terrible. "Haha damn.. The seller did not cheat. This elixir has been accurately described as a suitable combination for stink and stupidity." What the hell is Jake talking about? What kind of potion?

Suddenly, the fever increased, and you felt terrible pain and burning all over your body. Through the haze of vision, you could see your shirt stretching against the swelling muscles. You felt your body getting heavier and more massive. The office chair creaked under the pressure of your body. You could feel your feet starting to stretch, ripping off your office shoes. You could feel the sweat running down your huge feet, soaking into your socks, which immediately became wet... the smell of sweat from the locker room hit your nose. Then you felt your calves and shins swell and literally tore the bottom of your trousers in half. They were straining, and you could feel the muscles playing under your skin. Then the hips and buttocks. They expanded with terrifying rapidity. The seat of the chair became cramped and soaked in sweat from your buttocks in a second. Then your bulge. You felt your average penis begin to lengthen down your thigh, reaching 10 inches, and your balls became almost twice the size. At the same moment, your whole body was shaken by the amount of hormones... you were instantly aroused, soaking the front of your underpants and trousers. Your breathing became faster and with each breath your entire torso grew larger. The pectoral muscles, back and arms tore the shirt to shreds. The musky smell has intensified, coming from your now hairy armpits. Finally, the burning sensation along the ascending path reached your face and head. You felt the facial features begin to move, the bones break in order to fuse at other angles. The ears were enlarged, and the nose was rearranged inside. You felt how it became more difficult to breathe through your nose due to changes in the bones of your nose and involuntarily opened your mouth, giving your new face a slightly stupid look. Meanwhile, the fog in your field of vision has cleared, but the problem has become different. The fog in your brain has intensified. You felt your thoughts running away from you. It was getting harder to think. You saw the table on the laptop screen, but it was almost impossible to concentrate on it… The words in my head were not built into long sentences and thoughts, and strange ideas arose. You suddenly felt the urge to drink beer, lift weights in the gym and have sex in the locker room – this thought revived your penis again. The final chord was again a terrible belch.

"Bro.... Fuck.. Uh. What the hell did you do to me?" - you heard your new voice, which was very different from the rudeness and notes of the stupidity of the athlete. You jumped out of your chair and ran to the office window in your underpants to look at yourself. In the reflection, a frankly stereotypical dumb jock was looking at you. You saw Jake's grinning face in the background.

"Well.. now it will be obvious to the boss who should take the place of the head of the department. Am I obedient and smart, or are you stupid and clumsy. See you tomorrow, asshole," and Jake stormed out of the office with his things.

To be continued…

This story was written as part of a story-sharing game for Ykuri73

[pelova4president]

Shadows are to protect II

Victoria Pelova x Putellas!Reader

Alessia Russo x Putellas!Reader

Shadows are to protect I, III, IV

summary~ When you finally start to thrive at Arsenal there’s still one person that’s holding you back.

You sat there. In the dark, on your grey couch, the picture of you and Alexia staring at you. The bright light of your screen brightened your face like the Barcelona sun had done a few months ago. You couldn’t run away anymore, you were stuck. No one to talk to and no one to come home to.

Looking down at your screen again you saw the little beads of salty water resting on your screen. And even though you’ve been lonely for far too long you’ve never let the evidence of salty water show it. You never really were a crier, Alexia had always told you to be strong and not to show anyone those emotions, they made you seem weaker than your were.

But when you really needed her she didn’t say a thing about being strong. When you’d go home and cried, you cried in her arms. She held you when you needed to without doubt. She didn’t need you to tell her what was wrong, she just knew that you needed her so she’d be there, always.

‘Ale, i need you’

And that’s how you landed on the first morning flight to Barcelona you could find. The ticket was as pricey as they could get but that didn’t matter, you just needed your sister.

The welcome was warm, like always. It was all too familiar. The airport where you’ve landed and departed from all those Barca years. The sun was at it’s brightest and it almost melted you to the dark tarmac of the airfield. And somehow that thought felt more enjoyable than any thought you had in the past week. Being stuck to Barcelona.

Alexia had told you to be strong and that she’ll visit you soon but you didn’t think that soon would be soon enough.

You got into an severely overpriced taxi at the airport and directed him towards your sisters house. The car was hot and it felt like your skin was melting away. You could see little beads of sweat forming on your driver’s forehead. You didn’t think you could miss a warm sweaty car this much but you had been missing it.

When the vibrating car stopped moving and the motor of the car was cooling down you got out. With both of your feet on the sidewalk of Alexia’s house you were stuck. You traveled all the way to her home to stand still in front of it.

She probably wasn’t even home. The Barca girls had training from 9 to at least 1 if they were lucky. When you finally got the courage to take another step you looked under one of the plants in front of her door. It was dead, you were sure of it but she kept it anyway. Honestly, you didn’t get it. Why do people get plants they know they can’t take care of. It just so sad to see something that was once so green and full of life dry out.

Alexia’s house was cold. Her dog Nala was waiting for her to return but was surprised by the sight of you. You hadn’t seen Nala in a while but you were so sure she would’ve remembered you, she would always remember you, like everyone else right? You loved Nala.

When you scrolled through an ad of a shelter for dogs you saw Nala. You read her description and immediately knew you had to give her a new life. Alexia was in a dark place and so was Nala, they needed eachother. So the next week you picked the princess up and drove to your sisters house to surprise her.

Alexia wasn’t really fond of having a dog in house but that changed so quick. Nala was Alexia’s princess, and yours too.

But Nala didn’t seem to remember anything from that story anymore. She wasn’t jumping on you or letting out some hard barks. The little dog was growling at you. She seemed to forget you, just like whole Barcelona did.

You sat there, on Alexia’s couch. The one that you used to crash on at least once a week. Nala was sat next to you, she was paying no mind to you. Scrolling through your Instagram feed you saw Alessia with Katie and Caitlin. It made you jealous to some extent. She had friends and you, you didn’t, not really. The girls were nice but they weren’t friends. At the moment you didn’t really have friends anywhere.

You heard the noise of keys and Nala’s ears shot right up. Alexia’s home.

You heard her grunt and drop her training bag at the door. Nala’s steps were going towards your sister and so were yours. “Hola, hermana.” you welcomed her. Her eyes shot up to your face and her arms flew open to embrace you.

You almost sprung into her arms. Alexia didn’t say anything, she just held you and you didn’t let go. “you’re gonna be okay.” she whispered and that’s when you lost it. Tears started to stream down your face. Alexia’s grey sweater had taken a darker shade of grey and she could feel the deathly grip you had on her sweater.

“I’m not gonna be okay Ale. I don’t know what i’m doing.” you cried. She didn’t assure you you didn’t, she didn’t tell you that you just needed to get used to England. She just hummed. And it kind of made you love her even more for it. She didn’t offer you some fake sympathy talk, she kept it real.

The both of you didn’t say much more that day. You went to sleep early and Alexia crawled next to you later that night. With her arms around you and a kiss to your forehead she wished you goodnight. It was nights like these that you missed more than anything.

You woke up around 4 am. Nala and Alexia were dead asleep so you picked your phone up from your nightstand. You had gotten one message. ‘Hey, i didn’t see you at practice today, are you okay? If you want to talk to anyone, i’m here’ you read. Victoria Pelova cared about you?

You knew Alessia and Victoria were good friends. And it made sense Alessia probably hadn’t told Victoria about.. you. Just like you still hadn’t told anyone about Alessia.

Alexia grumbled a bit and opened her eyes. “What are you doing hermanita?” she asked you tiredly. “Pelova, you know her. She was wondering where i was today and asked me if i’m okay and if i needed someone to talk to.” you explained. Alexia hummed understandingly. “I think you should talk to her. Maybe you’d get along eh?” she thought aloud.

She was right, you had to give her a chance. She was being nice and it wasn’t like you had any other friends in London. So you texted her back, ‘I’m in Barcelona at the moment, just needed to see some family. Maybe we could talk when i’m back?’.

Alexia didn’t exactly say that she wanted you out of her house after day three but you knew she did. So when she came home after training you took that as your cue to travel back to the still red North London.

You came home around dinner time and didn’t really have anything to eat. ‘Are you back in England yet?’ Victoria had texted. You texted her that you were and if she wanted to come over to order something. And in less than twenty minutes she was knocking on your door.

“I took some Chinese takeout with me on the way, hope you don’t mind?” she smiled. You thanked her with a grin.

Victoria seemed like a very extroverted and outspoken and maybe even a bit annoying type to you at training. But maybe that was just because she was hanging around Katie, Beth and Kyra. But now she seemed a lot calmer, the opposite of annoying really.

Vic didn’t mention your absence which was nice, you didn’t really want to explain all of that to her. You didn’t expect to have a lot in common with the Dutch girl. She had a really warm presence and you loved every bit of it. Maybe all you needed was a friend here.

Victoria was waiting at the entrance of the training centre. “Buen día!” she waved. “I didn’t know you could speak Spanish.” you said. “I can’t but i’ve started my Duolingo streak Spanish since yesterday!” she smiled proudly. She made you so happy, she learned Spanish just for you. You were starting to feel thankful for Alexia’s advice.

“I guess i’ll have to learn Dutch now?” you laughed. She nodded her head and offered to learn you Dutch if you gave her some Spanish lessons. It seemed like a pretty good deal.

You started to spend a lot more time with the brunette. She was good company and you actually started to learn Dutch. You planned a trip to The Netherlands together. She would show you the city and her previous club, Ajax.

Everything was going better. You were in a better mental place and physically you were unstoppable. Jonas started to give you a place in the starting lineup almost every game and even the fans started to love you. You even got your very own chant. You were on top of the League and could not be held back any longer, you were finally thriving in London.

Alessia was the only problem keeping you from being fully happy. Even though you only saw her at practice and games she still was being bitter to you. Whenever you were talking to Victoria she took her away from you with some bad excuse. It was hard for you to feel at home in the changing room without Victoria around.

Naturally fans started to speculate about the two of you. They were saying that you were in a relationship with the midfielder and that you’ve been hiding it for a while now. Victoria was a good friend, your bestfriend but that was it. Nothing more. You hadn’t had those sort of feelings since Alessia and they still hadn’t totally gone away. It was shit to still have those feelings for someone who made it very clear she didn’t reciprocate those feelings. So you opted to ignore those feeling all together.

Victoria came over after practice to bake a pie for your upcoming birthday. She told you that she was an absolute pro in baking apple pie but you knew she was lying. No way that the girl that couldn’t even cook rice without burning it can bake an actual good pie.

And just like you had predicted the pie wasn’t really pie-ing. There was flour and cinnamon all over your kitchen and on both of your clothes. “Sukkel!” you shouted at her when she tipped her glass of water off the counter. But you started laughing when she slipped and fell right to the ground that was still covered in white flour.

“Fuck!” she cursed whilst you were trying to hold yourself up while laughing uncontrollably.

The night went by quickly like it always did with the midfielder.

Victoria has been the little light in your dark thoughts and you were so thankful for her but when you bid her goodnight you didn’t expect her to kiss you. She was stood in front of you, in a black hoodie with white spots on it from your kitchen adventure. Her cheeks were red from all the laughing and drinking. And she was leaning in to kiss you.

You didn’t stop her though. And you definitely didn’t stop her when you saw the door across from yours open. You didn’t stop her when blue eyes focused on the two of you. And you didn’t stop when you heard a door shut.

Victoria waved goodbye and you stood still, staring at the two plants placed on the ground in front of you. The ones you had gifted Alessia. They were dead. You were the only one that kept them alive and now they were dead. You failed them.

[xazse]

mr compress x kittygirl hybrid! reader and i will worship the ground you walk 😣😣🙏🙏🙏

SWEET GIRL

Synopsis: Mr.Compress feels a certain inkling and intensity within himself.

Notes: this is great I know you just submitted this really recent but I wanted to let some of my fans know that I will now write for MHA!!! SEND ME SOME STUFF (don’t worry to my others who have sent jjk requests I’m working on them<333)) (sorry I just had to do something with the league and them meeting kitty girl)

Pairings: Mr.Compress x KittyGirl!Hybrid

Warnings: Smut + mean!League Members + rough handling + rough kissing + fingering + penetration + Fem!reader + Hybrid!reader

Mr.Compress had dragged in another stray: you he had known for at least a month before introducing you to the league. He found you digging through some rubble searching for food. He had felt extremely bad and just felt the need to take you.

So that’s what he did, he took you and you didn’t fight at all he just went, scooped you up. You looked a tad bit confused but when he gave you some food you were attached, he gave you plenty of opportunities to leave but every time you’d look around for him and once you found him you’d loop your arms with his and follow. It was downright adorable.

After some time had passed he chose to introduce you to his beloved league.

“She looks stupid, get her out.”

“That’s so mean Tomura! I think she looks adoreable!”

“You are very right Toga, Shigaraki isn’t used to cutesy things.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” The blue haired man exclaimed from the bar.

“Why not give er’ a change Shigaraki? She could prove to be useful.” Spinner is always trying to be the middle man, Mr.Compress can certainly rely on him to get you in good with everyone.

“Useful my ass.” Dabi’s the one who speaks up.

“It wouldn’t be wise for you to talk, you’re in the same boat as her.” Shigaraki backfires.

“Tried to help you, dick.”

It hadn’t even been 40 minutes sitting as the league chats and discusses various things, Toga and Twice won’t leave you alone they insist on playing with your tail and rubbing your pointy ears: pushing them back just to watch them pop right back in place.

You aren’t complaining one bit, you love the extra attention they’re giving you, you can’t quite make out what they’re saying but nonetheless you know it’s nothing but sweet words minus twice sometimes blurting random crude things.

Leaving them proves to be the worst, “tears” are exchanged when Mr. Compress is ready to depart and you have to leave the new friends you just made. He reassures you that you’ll be able to see everyone again very soon.

Mr compress loves you a tenth fold you’re impressed by his tricks others find to be unfunny but you will sit for hours and watch him show off, clapping with the biggest smile on your cute face. It drives him mad to have his own personal fan.

It makes his cock throb when he’s doing one of his tricks and you look so curious to find out what’s next, he can’t focus on finishing it when you’re swooning right in front of him, he basically attacks you with sloppy kisses.

His thick tongue invades your mouth, his actions aren’t careful, he needs to be inside you right now.

He sits on his hind legs and traps you with his thighs on either side. He takes his hard cock out and jerks himself a few times right over your exposed stomach. you’ve all of a sudden gone shy on him, trying to avoid the intense way he’s staring down at you.

He stops for a moment to rid you of your bra, then your panties whilst also undressing himself fully too.

Even after all this time you’re still hiding your body from him like he hasn’t explored every single inch of you. He pays that no mind and moves to rub your cunt, he makes sure not to directly touch your clit.

He moves his skillful fingers around your lips, dipping in and out of your hole to get you used to the feeling. Sweet moans slip from your throat, your breath hitches everytime he so much as grazes the englared bud.

Impatient Compress starts full on fucking you with his fingers, he has to use a little of his strength to keep your leg nice and still for him. You’re full on moaning, it feels so damn good, the way his fingers abuse your wet hole in the meanest motions he can muster.

He makes eye contact with you when he pulls his fingers out and licks them, making sure to clean them dry.

He’s got you plenty wet, he rubs the tip of his cock in between your lips even touching your sensitive clit, he hadn’t even made you cum and you’re already so jumpy.

His thick cock starts to push inside you, slowly filling you of him, taking him is no walk in the park, he’s more long than anything, you grip whatever you can as he pushes past your tight hole.

Atsuhiro lets you adjust to him, he can hear slight sniffling from you, poor thing, he’ll make you happy in just a moment: that moment being now, he pushes your legs a little towards your torso angling his cock more snuggly.

Atushiro is never one to rush sex with you, he likes to be in the moment so he can enjoy and really feel you but now he can’t wait, he starts thrusting fast and deep, your fat cunt accepting every inch so easily now.

He’s been obsessed with your pussy the first day you and him had sex, you’re so tight and warm, he draws his hips back all the way letting his cock fall out to admire the slick it’s covered in, just to slam right back into you.

“Nnng..”

“Feels… so good Sako..” your moans sound so choked up in your throat, making you all the more desperate for more clearly.

His face is a beautiful shade of pink, groans mixed with yours slipping from his bitten lips, you truly don’t know the effects your cunt has on him, everytime he pulls back you suck him right back in.

Your tail has a mind of its own when it wraps around his torso, moving along with the rhythm of his hips.

You wipe the tears that have found their way to your face, your body spasms in that familiar way, along with your pussy tightening even more around him. He holds you down by your tummy, securing you in place so you don’t thrash everywhere.

He slams down in you one last time, pushing you right over the edge you cum with a loud yelp followed by quiet whines that die down, through this whole thing he’s praising you, kissing your soddened cheeks.

Your chest rapidly tries to calm down, feeling the aftershocks of a nasty orgasm.

Later that night he makes sure to rub your pointy ears and cuddle you as close as possible.

[theaverageptncasualenjoyer]

"We're not even dating." "But you belong to me." Shalom (Fem MBCC intel officer)

An: I'm back 🥳 But, only for a quick while before I have think about the romance department more... 🤢🤮 This'll be angst, jealousy, misunderstandings, lowkey toxic shalom, and suggestive themes, mentions of sex...

It started out as a one night stand, then turned into something more... Honestly, I don't know what came over me, thinking this was a good idea... But, there was no turning back once I caved, and asked for more... I'll always end up waking to no one by my side. Perhaps I enjoy the pain that comes after pleasure, which I shouldn't be. I felt sick, though I never tire of seeking her warmth. She is no saint although I'll gladly become a sinner just for her to look my way. But of course, she'll always look at her damn bodyguard's way... What does she have that I don't? I may be powerless, but I'm the one who's with her at nights like these... For her desire of flesh, I am the one who satiate her needs... Still, I end up losing to a woman who does not engage in such affairs. Shalom had told me once, while I lay underneath her, that her bodyguard has no interest in regards to mindless sex. She once attempted to seduce her, but to no avail, her bodyguard does not indulge. We're not lovers, so why must I feel this way...? It feels so wrong, but at the same time right to possess such feelings... I am fully aware about having no right to behave in a manner. But I can't help it. She disappears in my life, only to come back after weeks or even months without contact. My body has been drained, and my love had diminished. Like a candle lit flame that had been burning for too long, it's flames have extinguished after it's overuse. Perhaps it is time for me to move on. A week after her disappearance, I started working as an intelligence officer at the MBCC. Little did I know that she would soon enter my life again after 4 months of working as an intelligence officer. I moved places, to a new apartment near my workplace. I managed to fix myself, slowly. I don't think about her too much. After all, I ended up having a small crush on Matilda. There was just something about her that had me catching feelings for the sinner, maybe it was that side of hers that only a few had known, her caring nature, her ability to observe others in a way that she is able to tell when a person is troubled, and how she ensures that I am safe and protected. She and I grew closer over the past few months. I saw Shalom and the bodyguard that she would mention during our intimacy... This time, I didn't feel some sort of envy towards her bodyguard. Only contentment as I met eyes with Matilda next to Shalom, walking towards me as I greet her warmly. Shalom didn't like the interaction. My eyes softened, as I went somewhere with Matilda. Shalom couldn't resist asking the chief as to what was my relationship with Matilda, to which the chief responds, "The two of them are close friends. Though, it could be something more." The chief paused, and then continued, "I wouldn't be surprised if they ended up together." The chief concludes with an amused chuckle. Shalom did not appreciate that. I was now currently on break, lounging around in the breakroom. Waiting for coffee to brew. I didn't notice Shalom entering the room, eyes immediately locked onto my figure, as I unknowingly hum and waited for my coffee. She then spoke up, causing me to freeze up, unable to turn around and face her. "So, you and the councilor's niece, huh..." I grimace, not wanting to have this conversation. "...What do you want now, Shalom?" Her eyes narrowed, not liking the way I wasn't interested in a conversation with her at all. "I left for months, and you suddenly have some other woman to play around with?" I didn't like the way she was talking to Matilda like that, so I responded, "Play around? Is that all you think about?" my voiced laced with venom. "Oh, how sweet. Her knight and shining armor had come to defend her. Do you want a reward?" Her tone was sarcastic. I ignored her reply, choosing to focus on getting my coffee instead of entertaining her. That was all I was to her, anyways. A joke. To be played around with. I'm not even surprised at all.

"Don't ignore me, dear." She hissed, approaching me. I quickly grabbed my cup, and side stepped. "..." I walked past her, shocking her as I went outside. Without a word. She quickly catch up to me, grabbing my wrist. "I am not done talking to you." "But I am. Matilda's waiting for me." Her eyes darkened. "Matilda this, Matilda that. When will you quit the charades? You're doing this to make me jealous." I can feel the jealousy on her words, causing me to blink slowly. "...Excuse me? Do you really think I hang out with Matilda just because I want to waste time making you feel that way? Gross." I say, disgusted before pulling my hand away from her grasp. I looked her up and down. "I don't know what's wrong with you, but don't ever talk to me again." I then went ahead. Making shalom clench her coat sleeve... Don't come back to my life suddenly and act all possessive towards me. We're not even lovers, so why act that way? I thought grimly as I met up with Matilda. Matilda was now someone who I trust with my secrets. She knew about me and Shalom, it made her angry and more protective of me whenever Shalom visits the MBCC. Shalom didn't help at all by increasing the tension, taunting Matilda; She paid no mind to the bait that Shalom obviously presented to her. She grew more and more jealous at the relationship between me and Matilda, without knowing that me and her were just friends. I realized that Matilda felt more of a sister to me, rather than someone who I like in a romantic way, Matilda expressed the same feeling as well. One night, Shalom couldn't take it anymore. She had enough of seeing my closeness with Matilda. The lingering stares, touches, and the secrecy of words being whispered to one another's ear had plagued Shalom's mind all day. She had to stop this madness before her mania level will consume her... Meanwhile, I was busy in my office trying to connect the dots about the incident earlier that had happened outside of the MBCC's building. I heard the door swung open, and had expected it to be the chief. I was wrong. It was Shalom. After seeing who it was, I closed my eyes and heaved a deep sigh. I didn't want to deal with her, but I have to. It must be something important. "Do you require assistance, miss Shalom?" My voice held a professional tone to it, as I paused reading the files. "No, but I have something that I wanted to talk about." Making me nod stiffly. "...Alright." I looked at her with nothingness, making her feel... Odd about the look. "...Do you feel nothing towards me now?" She starts, as she met my gaze with a hint of sadness. "...Hm." I answered it vaguely, unable to comprehend why the question all of the sudden. She sits on my desk, papers long forgotten as she made herself comfortable. "What happened to the nights that we once shared together? Do you not miss it?" It took me a while to process it. "I mean... It's been months. I've been busy, you're busy as well." Her hand made its way to my chin, cupping it. "Don't you... Miss me?" Her voice, velvety, it almost made me shiver, if not for the fact that I just felt uncomfortable right now. "Um, not really?" My voice was uncertain, unable to determine if I indeed missed her at all. Making her frown. "What does Matilda have that I don't? Why is she so special to you?" Making me confused. Is she saying that Matilda is my girlfriend...? A baffled look made its way to my face, making her question me. "...You did not think I would notice, didn't you." As if stating a fact. I awkwardly replied, "We're close friends..." Her eyes had soften for a bit, but then narrowed. "You're kidding. You are together." "We're not." I state calmly. "I've seen the way you look at her. It's unnerving."

A shadow had crowded over Shalom's eyes. I sighed, explaining further about my relationship with Matilda. After explaining it for a bit, she seemed to have lighten up. "There. Now, do you get it?" She nods. "Yes. Now, I can do this..." She suddenly grabbed my collar and pulled me towards her. Making the space nonexistent between us. My breath hitched, heat immediately crept up to my face. Shalom took notice. "Ah, there it is. How I've missed that look." She cooed, making me jerk backwards and her grip loosening due to the sudden reaction. "Don't do this to me, Shalom." I hissed, upset at her actions. She then looked hurt. "What's wrong? Do you not perhaps want to continue our relationship?" I swiftly got out of my desk and made my way to the door. "Oh, no. I am not about to enter in that relationship again. I'm leaving." Her hand had grasped my wrist that was already twisting the door knob, in swift movement. "Tell me, what's wrong..." "Everything is! This whole thing started as an accident and ended with an MISTAKE! Shalom, god... I don't know how you are able to do this with a straight face, but I can't do this anymore. I want out." She then glared at me and responded. "It wasn't a mistake, tell me you didn't just say that now." Making me more irritable at the response. "What? Do you want me to pretend that it wasn't? Because it was! So stop!" She then cupped my face. "It wasn't to me. It might've started that way, but I ended up falling for you." Making me look at her in shock. "No, you're only saying that because you just want the sex." I hated sounding like I was hurt over this, when I know damn well when it was supposed to be that way anyways. "Why does it matter to you so much?" I sound distressed, pushing her away from me with much force. "We're not even dating." Shalom's next actions and words had caught me off guard. "But you belong to me." Her hand found it's way to my waist, pulling me towards her body once more. "Can't you see, that I feel strongly about you dear?" Her voice murmured against my collarbone. Teeth nipping at it, as I fail to conceal my voice. "I don't want anyone else but me to be near you, to have you, and to love you this way..." She possessively said, cupping my cheek with her free hand and tracing her thumb on my face, rubbing circles. "I'm obsessed with you, the reason why I am not able to return right away... Was because of how addicted I was from your warmth. It wasn't just the sex. I promise..." She soothes me by sucking on my neck, leaving a trail of marks as she worked her way up to my lips. "I love you. I want you to be mine, to belong to me... Darling." She whispered in my lips. I let her devour me. Whole. "You're mine. I don't intend to share you or settle for second best. No one compares to you." She declared. I whimpered. "What about your bodyguard? Didn't you lust for her as well...?" She smirks, unzipping my skirt and tracing my underwear. "Oh, her? I only said that to make you jealous. I wanted you to act possessive of me. But it backfired." She explained, but not before harshly tugging down my skirt, tearing off my blouse. "All of these... Are for my eyes only. I regret teasing you. Allow me to make up for it..." She then harshly palmed my breast while my bra was on. Her fingers danced around my inner thigh...

[korya-elana]

Your doctor isn't always right.

This'll be a long one. No tl;dr

I see a lot of rhetoric about "doctor shopping" and "your doctor is obviously right, quit trying to claim an illness that isn't yours" and other such nonsense. So I'm here to tell you why these guys suck and why they're wrong.

I'd like everyone to keep in mind that I am studying brain science, I readily admit that, due to my health issues, I could have died without my doctors. I am firmly pro-science and pro-medicine. However.

I was actually going to type up this post a few weeks back and then the universe smacked me with a relevant situation. For some context, I recently moved back to Ohio. I had lived in NY for the past few years due to traumatic circumstances and had not received any care for my disabilities at the time. Considering one of my issues is Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (my joints and connective tissue are loosey-goosey and don't work right) and EDS causes me severe pain from constant rib dislocations/subluxations, I went to go get pain management from a specialist as soon as I was back.

This "specialist" (literally the head of the relevant department) told me there was no way that I had EDS despite my relevant testing and family history, started testing me for the WRONG illness (Marfan's, which you can tell by looking at me I do not have) and then, despite his admittance he doesn't know much about EDS, proclaimed I don't have it and it wasn't worth seeking any help. And he obviously did shit for my pain. He also said this about my proven autoimmunity.

Fast forward to two weeks ago. At the ripe old age of 30 and relatively good health despite my disabilities, I had a real stroke. Not only is this highly unusual for my age and health, it was a very, very specific type of stroke that is highly indicative of a much more dangerous type of EDS than my previous specialists had ever thought. And now I need extremely expensive and hard-to-get approved genetic testing. I have therapies several times a week and in a month I see a neurologist. Specifically, a stroke specialist where I will likely be the youngest person in the waiting room by at least 20 years.

This doctor could have killed me. He could have permanently crippled me beyond repair due to his advice. I legitimately thought I was dying. I have lost parts of my life and activities vital to my sense of self that I will never get back and I am very early on a very long road to recovery. Because my doctor was wrong. And I'll sure as shit be suing him.

So if you think your doctor is wrong, I want you to ignore every single asshole tumblerite telling you that your doctor knows best and knows better than you do. Seek that second opinion. Or your third! Or your fourth! I went through five doctors before I found one that actually knew what he was talking about and could help my dysautonomia symptoms for real. There is merit to talking about diagnosis hunting and being more sure than you should be. But doctors are not perfect. Malpractice kills people. Follow your gut feeling and find someone who knows how to talk about it. Shutting up and ignoring that feeling could get you hurt.

[dees-writing-corner]

old habits die hard - part 1

agent!ateez x ex!agent!reader

word count: 3k

genre: spy au, agent au

a/n this is going to have multiple parts, so comment or message me if you want to be tagged for the rest of it

masterlist

“Mum, we’ve been through this before.” 

Balancing my phone between my ear and shoulder, I rummaged through my bag, trying to find my house keys. 

“Yeah, well, I don’t plan on doing that anytime soon, so let move on from this topic, yeah?” 

Finally fishing the keys out, I grabbed my phone and unlocked the door. 

“Hmm, I’ll think about it. I-” Seeing a brown enveloped with a distinct stamp on it, I paused. “Mum, I’ll call you back later, yeah? I just remembered I’ve got some work to do. Love you. Bye.” 

Locking the door behind me, I picked up the envelope and made my way into the living room, closing the curtains before setting the envelope on the coffee table as I stared at it. 

I haven’t seen that stamp in over two years. Not since I left. I don’t know why they’ve decided to send me a letter now, but it can’t be anything good. Pacing around the table, I mulled over the idea of opening the envelope. Unsure if I actually wanted to know what was inside it. 

A sudden knock on my door stopped me in my tracks. On instinct, my head snapped up in the direction of the sound. 

“It’s just me. We need to talk.” 

Recognising the voice, I quickly made my way over to let the person in. 

“Hey.” 

“What’re you doing here?” Closing the door, I let the person into the living room, gesturing him to sit down. 

Sitting down, he raised a brow at me, “What? It’s been two years, and this is all I get?” 

“I’m serious Junghoon.” Picking up the envelope, I looked back up at him. “Why are you here? Because when I left. I left for good.” 

His eyes lowered to the envelope before coming back up to mine. “You’ve not read it.” 

“No. I’ve just come back. Why should I.” 

Junghoon patted the space next to him, “I came to show you something.” 

Taking a seat behind him, I watched as he pulled out a tablet from his backpack. 

“Three months ago, the police got a call for a break in at 62 Walkers Avenue.” 

Frowning, I looked at him, “That’s Yeosang’s place.” 

“The call got transferred to us because of the location. When we got there, the place was already burning. When the fire was put out, we found partially burnt remains of a male. The only key evidence that we could pick up was the vintage leather strap watch that Yeosang never took off and a black dagger with a mountain carved at the base that belongs to -” 

“San.” 

Junghoon nodded, his eyes never leaving my face, trying to find something, “Yes. After we found the dagger, we headed straight to San’s but his place was empty. And so was everyone else's.” 

I looked straight at Junghoon, knowing exactly what he was trying to say, “What are you trying to say?” 

“They killed Yeosang. And a few other officers in our department. They all died the same way.” 

Junghoon took out four more folders, each folder consisted of a partially burnt victim, with evidence showing that they were members of KQ Agency. 

“You can’t be serious.” My eyes darted from the folders laid out on the coffee table to Junghoon. “You know them, Junghoon! They trained you! I don’t know about the other four, but they would never do that to Yeosang. Never.” 

“It’s hard to not believe it, when the evidence all points to them.” 

I stared at Junghoon in disbelief. He can’t be serious. 

Junghoon looked at me before turning away, his entire demeanour turning to one of hesitance, “Have you.... Have they contacted you recently?” 

“No. They haven’t. Neither has anyone from the agency before now. When I left, I cut all ties from your lot.” 

Sensing my irritation, Junghoon stood up, his bag in hand as I walked him to the door. 

“I should go. If you get anything. Please call us. And please, open the envelope and consider the offer.” 

I simply stared at him as he got into his car. 

Once he drove off, I shut the door, locking it before heading back to the living room. 

I may have lied to Junghoon. While I don’t contact anyone from my unit, it didn’t mean I didn’t know how to contact them when they didn’t want others to hear. I also don’t trust Junghoon. I haven’t seen him in two years and that’s more than enough time for someone to change. But I know my old unit, and they would never do that, so something is going on within KQ. 

Tearing open the envelope, I took out the piece of paper within it. Reading through it, I quirked a brow at the offer. They are really desperate, aren’t they. Turning to look at the pictures concealed in a flap in the envelope, I was met with seven familiar faces staring at me. Each one of them had information written about them. Information I knew by heart. 

Dropping the papers back on the table, I looked at the five, open folders on the coffee table. I picked up the polaroid camera that was on one of my shelves and took pictures of all of them. Making sure that the pictures came out clear. 

With five polaroids in my hand, I walked up the stairs to my bedroom. Having the habit of keeping my bedroom curtains closed, I head straight for my wardrobe, not worrying about anyone looking at me. I grabbed a large duffle bag from the corner, sliding the polaroids into a side pocket, before stuffing a few sets of clothes and essential products into the bag. 

Zipping up the bag, I went to my bedside table, opening the drawer, I pushed slightly at the corner, revealing a false bottom. Removing the slab of wood, I took out the dagger and gun that were concealed beneath it. Placing the dagger in my boot and the gun to my hip, I put the slab of wood back before kneeling next to my bed. 

Flipping up the duvet and bed sheet that hung over the side of the bed frame, I pulled out the storage drawer under the bed completely to access the floor board beneath it. Opening up the flood, I took out a briefcase that I placed in there two years ago. I was something Yeosang gave me before I left the unit. Something that I didn’t want to touch after leaving.  

Opening the briefcase up, I looked at the radio system and earplug within it. It was one Yeosang made. He made eight in total. One for each of us. The unit was a way for us to communicate without anyone listening in. Yeosang made sure that no one could hack into the system. Though there was one flaw with it. And it was that no one knew how many people were on. Which meant we had to make sure we knew where the briefcase was at all times. 

I put on the head set and flipped the switch to turn the system on. Listening to the static, I waited to see if anyone was on, as each second passed, I started to lose hope. Until I heard someone. 

“We’re - done – headed- war - house – by-” 

Turning off the system, I frowned. What have they done? I thought of the places they could be at, but nothing came up. House? War house? The warehouse! If it’s the same warehouse as before, then I know where they are. 

I put the floor and drawer back, making sure everything was where it’s supposed to be and headed back downstairs with the briefcase and duffle bag in hand. I went into the kitchen, stuffed some bottles of water and protein bars into the duffle, and then walked into the pantry, closing the door behind me. This pantry may seem like a normal one to everyone else, but after I bought the house, I built a passage that went under the house that led to a private garage not far from me. 

I ran my finger along one of the shelves, stopping when I felt a small bump. Leaving my finger on the bump, I waited for a few seconds before a small panel opened up on the wall beside me. Placing my hand inside the wall, waiting for the reader to finish scanning my hand. It didn’t take long before the wall in front of me opened up, showing a stairs case that went down. 

Walking into the dimly lit passage, I made sure to wall close behind before making my way down the stairs and to the garage. 

While I could’ve just walked out the house and left in my normal car, I knew KQ. They probably have agents parked around my house watching out for me, which I kind of find funny. I worked for KQ for a long time. I knew all their strategies and protocols. Which is why I built this passage. For times like this. 

Coming to the end of the passage, I stared at the wooden door that was covered in cobwebs. I haven’t been to the garage through this way since it was built two years ago, and I honestly didn’t think I’d have to. 

Opening the door, I stepped into the garage, everything inside was how I left it a couple of months ago. I walked up to the covered car in the centre of the room, and yanked the white sheet off. The car was a well looked after 1969 Chevrolet Impala. I bought the car two years ago for emergency use. With it being an old car, there was no way for someone to hack into the GPS to track me. There is literally nothing they can hack in to. And people might think, ‘oh, it’s too flashy. People can tell straight away.’. No one will bat an eye in this neighbourhood because everyone here is rich and there’s a classic car driving down the road every two seconds. 

I opened the car door, threw the bag and briefcase into the back, and started up the car. Before I pulled out of the garage, I put on a face mask and pulled down the sun shield, lowering the chances of someone noticing me through the street cameras. 

Driving down the road, I looked back at the house that was almost out of view. There were cars I had never seen parked not far from my house. Guess my suspicions were right. 

The warehouse that I was heading to was on the outskirts of the town next to the city. When I was still at KQ, the boys and I would go there after missions to rest and relax. It was basically out headquarters outside of KQ. No one but us knew about it. We decorated the place so that it could act as a home to us as well, with all of us having a bedroom there. 

By the time I got to the next town, the sun had already set. While the drive wasn’t as long as it used to be, seeing as I lived on the outskirts of the city, it still took a couple of hours to get there. 

Parking the car a couple of blocks away. I grabbed the briefcase and duffle and made my way down the street. As I got closer, I made out the familiar, worn-down exterior of the warehouse. Walking up to the door, I hoovered my thumb above the handle where the sensor was located. I have no idea if they still have my thumb print saved or not, but here goes nothing. 

Pressing down on the handle, I waited a couple of seconds before I heard a click of the door unlocking. 

Pulling the door open, I walked in. The ground floor remained bare; it was the only place we didn’t decorate, to keep up the facade of it being unused. Shutting the door behind me, I walked to the back of the building where the stairs were located. If they still did things the way they used to, then they were probably upstairs relaxing on the sofas. 

I quietly made my way up the stairs, the sound of laughter and chatter getting louder, the closer I got to them. 

“Look, it wasn’t my fault they had people outside. Woo said they were only inside!” 

The sound of the familiar voices made me stop at the top of the stairs. It’s been too long since I heard them. 

“Are you lot going to stand there all night or join us?” 

The sudden sound of Mingi’s deep voice made me raise a brow. He must’ve thought I was the others. 

“Not them.” I walked out of the shadows towards their forms by the sofa. “But you guys have a lot of explaining to do.” 

Yeosang and Mingi froze sightly before their heads shot around. Eyes wide in shock, their gaze never left me as I closed the distance between us. 

“When they come back, there better be an explanation because I had Junghoon at my door step earlier and KQ agents patrolling outside my house.” 

I took a seat on the arm chair by the coffee table, completely ignoring their looks. 

Mingi opened his mouth a couple of times, trying to form a complete sentence, “You - what -” 

“We’re back!” Hongjoong’s voice echoed through the warehouse, as heavy footsteps made their way up the metal stairs. “And we’ve got the files.” 

Hongjoong was the first to emerge from the stairs, his hair now a dark brown instead of the blue it was two years ago. His eyes shifted between Mingi and Yeosang, noting their silence, before landing on me.  

I gave him a small wave, “Hi.” 

Hongjoong stopped in the middle of the room causing Wooyoung to crash into him. 

“What’s wrong with -” Wooyoung stopped mid-sentence after noticing my presence. “What’re you doing here?” 

Everyone was now stood somewhere behind Mingi and Yeosang, their expressions ranging from shock to apprehension. 

I took out the polaroids from my duffle bag, placing them on the coffee table before turning to them. 

“Someone explain to me why Junghoon came to me this afternoon saying Yeosang was dead and that you lot killed him and several other Agents.” 

My gaze stayed steady on Hongjoong’s, “Well, Joong?” 

“How can we know that you aren’t working for them?” 

Seonghwa was the one who spoke up, his demeanour cold as he stared at me, “Two year’s a long time. How can we know that you can be trusted?” 

“Because the day I left KQ was the day I swore to never get back into this field. And you know me, Hwa. Unless it’s putting people I care about at risk; I would never come back here.” 

Sensing the tension between me and Seonghwa, Hongjoong stepped around the sofa, motioning for everyone else to sit down.  

Yunho picked up the polaroids I set down on the table, studying each of the intently, “These the files Junghoon showed you?” 

“Yeah. I didn’t want to risk taking the folders with me.” I nodded, before turning my eyes back on Hongjoong. “Say something.” 

Hongjoong ran a hand through his dark hair, debating what he should say, “KQ’s not what it was. A few months back, me and Jongho noticed that there were unfamiliar people going in and out of the building. More specifically the laboratories. Yeosang later found that the people were linked to the Ace Gang. KQ is doing business with the gang, providing them with weapons and substances. Every single person in KQ is a part of it. Except us.” 

I nodded along, looking at the polaroids, “What about those bodies?” 

“Those weren’t us. Well, other than the last one. When we found out, we questioned some of them, and managed to get some answers out of them. KQ must’ve found out and thought them as a liability so they killed them. They’re trying to get us framed as serial killers and gang members. That’s why we’re in hiding. And also, why we staged the last victim out to be Yeosang. It’ll make it easier for him to do stuff outside.” 

I sat there, looking at each and every one of them, processing what Hongjoong just told me. Honestly, I could see it. When I left KQ, it was mainly because of the shift in dynamic within the organisation. They started being more secretive even though we were one of the best units they had. The tasks that we were given became more frequent and longer, making us spend weeks, sometimes even months on a mission. I have a suspicion that was when they started helping out the gang. 

“Okay. So, what can I do? KQ sent me envelope this earlier today. They’re asking for me to help out with catching you guys.” 

“What have you got on mind?” San was the one to speak. He was always the one who could see through me. 

I looked up at them, a plan already forming in my head. It was like being part of the team again. 

“I’m going to accept the offer.” 

Seonghwa opened his mouth, about to say something, but I cut him short, “Let me finish. I’m going to accept the offer in the morning and be your person inside KQ.” 

Seonghwa raised a brow, “Do you know how dangerous that could be for you?” 

“Anything’s better than KQ and Ace working together.” My mind went back to everything I gathered about Ace since I left. “Ace have been getting too powerful. They’ve infiltrated the police, hospitals, everywhere. They’ve got people everywhere.” 

Jongho looked at me, his eyes shining in silent laughter, “So this is what you’ve been up to, huh?” 

“Old habits die hard. Plus, normal life gets a bit boring after years of constant adrenaline rushes. What’s better than some light investigating?” 

[hawkinsquarry]

all things must pass (steve x reader)

summary: steve makes you leave him at the end of the world.

contains: steve x reader; gender unspecified reader; no pronouns used for reader; post-st4; unresolved angst; probably too much swearing :/

i miss this guy and i’m feeling insane over him so have some angst with an ambiguous ending 🫶🏻

Steve’s feet feel particularly heavy when we steps across your foyer. And the packet he has in his hands feels even heavier. He brushes off a few specs of ashes before slamming them down on the table in front of you, lazily eating cereal.

“What the hell is this?” you ask after a moment, grabbing the ledger on top. You know immediately it’s an airline ticket. It makes you feel sick and you push your Cheerios away as your eyes scan the details.

FROM-TO

IND > LA

You want to fucking kill him but you don’t have a chance as he breezes past, grabbing your suitcase out of your walk in closet.

“You depart in twelve hours,” he starts. He recited it in his head the entire way over to make the conversation easier, but the words are hard to get out. “Only take your essentials. When you’re there, a chauffeur will pick you up and take you to the - the - the location.”

“Steve, I’m not fucking going -“

“Yes, you are.” He says sternly. Like you’re a child.

“I’m not going anywhere without you!”

And he know this was coming - this cyclical argument you’ve been having for the last three weeks, your tears, the lump in his throat, uncertainly fogging both of your vision. But it doesn’t make it any easier, any less frustrating.

He says your name low and quiet. A plea. “This is safe. This is where the - the - the people I know told me to send you. That it’s the safest place.”

“And we’re trusting those people now?”

“No. W-well, yes! It - it’s - just - trust me, not them. Okay?” He settles your suitcase on the couch and starts moving around your living room for things he knows you’ll need. A blanket. Medicine. “Anywhere away from here is better, anyway.”

“So you admit it isn’t safe?”

Steve sniffles. “I never said it was.”

You follow him to your bedroom where he begins ripping clothes from your closet. He doesn’t miss the hoodie he leant you a few months ago. It’s laid on top of your suitcase with more shirts and pants.

You grab his arm and try to force it to fall back to his side, but he’s too strong, god damn him. “Steve, quit!” you beg, digging your heels into the ground and tugging on him. “I’m not leaving, Steve. I’m not going unless you go with me.”

“We talked about this.”

As nauseam, in fact. Until the ache in Steve’s throat was excruciating. Until your voice was hoarse and you were heaving. He’s not leaving, and you are.

You tug on him again. “I’ll keep talking about it until you listen to me!”

He doesn’t say anything. Just keeps moving back and forth between your closet and the suitcase. You cry, as hard as you try not to. You really are like a petulant child, stomping your foot, throwing a tantrum. You feel like it’s the only way he’ll listen, but you know the reality is that he still won’t.

“What about me?” you cry. You’re so angry at him, want to say something that’ll make him hurt. That’ll change the expression on his stoic face. You find it in you to refrain. “What about us, Steve?”

Keeps packing. Head down. Jaw clenched tight. He was ready for this fight when he walked in.

“Steve, let the goddamn military handle it. Do - do you honestly think you’re going to save the world?”

“No,” he snaps.

“Then what?”

He doesn’t answer because you already know why. Because he can’t leave Dustin, and Dustin can’t leave El, because apparently she can save the world. And Robin won’t leave Steve who won’t leave Dustin who won’t leave El. And Nancy fucking Wheeler won’t leave Mike who won’t leave El.

It makes you feel insane. Your blood boils and spills over, and over, and over, and it never just depletes. You keep going, keep arguing, trying to talk him out of it until your voice is hoarse. It’s hoarse now, in fact. Last night Steve held you until you shut up, until you cried yourself to sleep, and you had no idea he had already got you a plane ticket out of here. You feel so betrayed it makes your stomach twist and chest ache.

“I can’t live without you,” you try. It’s the third time you’ve pulled this and it seems to get him the most. “Steve, I don’t know what I’d do if - if….”

Steve bites his cheek, stilling, his hands clutching one of your sweaters.

“Why don’t you care?” you push.

He sniffles again, pinches his nose. You’d prefer it if he’d just let himself cry. He’d give in, then, if he let his emotions take over.

“Don’t you love me?”

“Jesus, yes,” he grits, finally looking at you. His eyes are red. “Why do you think I’m makin’ you leave, huh? Why do you think I’m staying?”

“Because you think you’re something you’re not!”

He runs a big hand through his hair so harshly you fear it’ll get tugged out. He walks towards you, holding his arms out, murmuring, “honey,” and as much as it pains you, you back away.

“Don’t,” you say sharply. Your throat aches. “Don’t do that, Steve.”

“I love you.” He sounds exhausted. “I love you, please believe me.”

“If you love me, then come with me.”

“There won’t be a world for us to live in unless we stop this.”

“You aren’t going to save the world.” You’re so desperate for him to listen to you. “The chances are so slim, Steve. Why can’t we love each other while we have time?”

Steve takes a shaky breath. “I won’t let you die without doing something about it first.”

You stare at each other. It’s suddenly dawning on you that nothing you’ll do will ever change his mind. That his chances of living through the next few days are slim. That this is the last time you’ll get to see him. While he’s packing for you and forcing you to take a plane to California.

There’s nothing romantic about it. It’s not like what you’ve seen in the movies you rented from Family Video when Steve had a shift. Before he was yours. When you went because the forest green vest looked so good on him, and he always had some goofy recommendation, and he let his hands touch yours when giving you your change for a moment too long.

You’ve hardly even had him.

“So that’s it?” You can hardly hear yourself.

“I’m doing this for you. I’m doing everything for you. And - and i-if it works, I swear I’ll make it up to you. I swear, angel.”

You shake your head, hot tears making their way down your jaw. “No.”

He stills. Looks a little like a deer in headlights. Caught off guard, shocked. Mouth parting slightly before closing again, like he wants to argue but can’t.

What is there to say?

“If you make me get on that plane, Steve….” You shake your head again, swallowing the ache in your throat down.

You stare at each other again. His eyes are one of your favorite things about him. Those saccharine, chestnut and moss colored irises. They scrunch up when he laughs. You used to think about leaving Hawkins and moving somewhere nice, so far away from all of this that Steve grows up to have crows feet around his eyes. That you’d be the one who put them there. And this is the last time you’ll see them.

“You have to go,” he eventually sniffles.

“Please,” you try, for the final time.

He blinks slowly, frowning, chest rising and falling slowly. “I love you,” he whispers. “Please believe me.”

You’re not sure if you can.

[lemoncrushh]

Connect

Summary: Not wanting to lose their connection, Lily takes a surprise trip to see Harry.

Warnings: None

Word Count: 3.4k

A/N: Real Harry x OC, written in first person. This is the last of my writings from 2019 (technically the first one since I'm reposting backwards). Obviously, this was heavily based on Live on Tour. I think I was just testing the waters then after having taken a break from fics. The only thing I focused on in 2018 was a longer fic which will come later. So next, I'll be reposting the one shots from 2017.

“I miss you,” he said, his voice raspy and weary.

“I miss you, too.”

“I wish you were here with me,” said Harry. “I know you didn’t wanna be, cause it’s crazy, but-”

“I never said I didn’t wanna be,” I interrupted.

“Well, you can’t. And I get it.”

With a sigh, I rolled over onto my stomach as I gnawed on the inside of my cheek. The truth was, I wanted to be with him more than anything. I just felt like it was too soon. We’d only started dating a few months before he left for the tour. Things had been such a whirlwind then, that it was a wonder we’d managed to actually become a thing. I’d worried that we’d moved too fast, and when Harry had asked me to consider flying out for some of the shows, I’d hesitated. In the end, I’d told him I couldn’t do anything on short notice since I didn’t have vacation time yet and my job was still relatively new. But I promised I would make plans to be with him for his final show in Los Angeles. He’d said he understood, but each time we talked on the phone, he seemed to miss me more and more. It broke my heart to say the least.

“I just don’t think I can-“

“Lily,” he interrupted this time. “It’s okay. Let’s change the subject.”

That night when I went to bed, I thought about our conversation. Though the rest of it had been sweet and light-hearted, I had felt the weight of Harry’s tone. He wasn’t mad, or even upset, but I could tell he was having a hard time concealing his emotions.

Throwing the covers off of me, I hopped out of bed and grabbed my laptop. Like the word nerd I was, I googled.

Emotion. Noun. A natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one's circumstances, mood, or relationships with others.

Relationship. Noun. The way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.

Harry and I were connected. I knew it from the moment we met. Not to sound cheesy, like it was some grand scene of kismet in a rom com, but I’d felt something that first day.

Literally, it had been my first day at my new job. After years of trying to be a writer and applying for any kind of position that was remotely associated with writing, taking jobs as a receptionist at a local fluff newspaper and a data entry operator in the accounting department of a publishing company, and even working behind the counter at a bookstore, I’d finally landed my dream job. Well, not so much dream as it was...how shall I put this...the bottom of the totem pole at a company I wanted to work for. Everyone’s gotta start somewhere, right? So what if I was pouring coffee and scheduling meetings and *cough* picking up dry cleaning? I was working for an amazing magazine. No, I wasn’t writing anything yet, but I was finally getting somewhere!

The stars must have been aligned that day. Being the “new girl”, I was led around the office by my boss as she introduced me to everyone. We’d just made it past the editing department when Candace, my boss, lifted her cell to her ear with a frown.

I didn’t understand the conversation, especially with only hearing one side of it, but I certainly caught the words “Harry Styles” and “lunch interview” followed by a few expletives. My breath stilled, and I’m pretty sure my heart did too. Trying to act casual as Candace returned her phone to her pocket, I blinked several times and shifted the weight between my feet.

“Lily,” she turned to me. “I know it’s your first day and you barely know your way around here, but I need a favor.”

I nodded. “Of course.”

Her expression relaxed as she gave a gentle smile. “Congratulations. You get the opportunity no one else has ever gotten on their first day.”

I wasn’t sure why I’d agreed to it, other than the fact that I’d wanted this job more than anything, and impressing Candace was my top priority. But to say I was a nervous wreck as I rode next to her in her BMW to a restaurant so luxurious I’d only ever dreamed of dining there, was an understatement. Apparently Candace’s head writer had gotten into an accident on the freeway that morning and was unable to get to the interview on time. That meant either sending someone else to have lunch with Harry Styles or going herself. Deciding quickly on the latter, and because it was my first day as her personal assistant, I got to tag along, notebook in hand. Well, not exactly in hand. It was in my bag. But you get the idea.

I hadn’t really known what to expect, both in meeting Harry and in getting to eat lunch at this particular restaurant, but within ten minutes I got the answers. The restaurant, while swanky with a limited menu, still felt like any other restaurant I’d been to, albeit upscale. Cloth napkins, iced water in big glasses that looked like they were more for wine or brandy, and tinkly piano music to complete the ambience. And as for Harry Styles...well let’s just say, he was the coolest person I’d ever met. And I don’t mean cool as in too cool for me, or too cool for school. I mean he was so completely down-to-earth that I immediately felt at ease. Sure, my insides were a mess, my heart beating out of my chest and my stomach doing somersaults, but despite that, he didn’t come off as a “celebrity”. He was charming and funny and easy to talk to. And because I was Candace’s assistant, you would think he’d only direct his answers to her. But he looked over at me several times with a sexy, easy grin and made sure he included me in the conversation.

Once Candace got up to take another phone call, and I was left alone with Harry. Afraid I might say or do something stupid, I looked at the notes I had written down. Candace of course had recorded the conversation on her phone with Harry’s permission, so I wasn’t quite sure why she’d had me take notes too. But such is the job of an assistant, I presumed.

After a moment or two of silence, Harry said something, though it took me a second to realize he was addressing me.

“Sorry?” I looked up from my scribbles.

“Is the interview done?” he asked, his eyebrows raised.

“Um...I don’t think so,” I stumbled.

“Then why are you looking at that? I’m right here.”

My heart plummeted to my stomach, and I thought I might vomit the salad I’d just eaten.

“Sorry,” I mumbled as I shoved my notebook into my bag, my face no doubt red from embarrassment. I wanted to crawl under the table...on the other side of the restaurant.

Suddenly Harry laughed. A good, hearty laugh. I looked up at him to see the little crinkles next to his eyes as he chuckled, dimples dipping in his cheeks.

“Loosen up, Lily,” he said.

It took me a second, and a shake of my head, to remember that he knew my name. But the fact that he’d remembered it after only learning it once briefly when Candace had introduced me was another thing entirely. And...was he teasing me?

“Excuse me?” I asked.

“I’m just giving you a hard time. You seem very nervous.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” he smiled. Then he gestured toward where Candace had walked off. “Is she hard to work for?”

I relaxed, exhaling and placing my hands in front of me. “Truth?”

“Of course.”

“It’s my first day.”

A grin spread across Harry’s handsome face. Just then Candace emerged from the hallway headed back to our table. Harry quickly and simply leaned over towards me, covering my hand with his.

“You’re doing great,” he whispered.

And that’s when I knew.

Okay, it’s not when I knew we were meant to be together or would fall in love or any of that. But I felt connected. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but it was something.

I hadn’t gotten another assignment quite like that one again. At least not yet. Most of my job consisted of running errands and getting coffee, although I did get to see and greet a few celebrities here and there. But when Harry’s interview was printed, I received a bouquet of flowers. Lilies.

Harry and I laughed about it for days after he called to ask me out. We both agreed it was cheesy, but he admitted he liked the cheese. I’d fallen for it, after all. Sucker.

Emotion. Noun. A natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one's circumstances, mood, or relationships with others.

I stared at the screen, reciting the definition over and over. Harry and I were in a relationship. He was far away and it would be a long time before he returned. How could I not feel any emotion about it? How could I not consider his feelings as well? How could I keep pretending I didn’t miss him more than anything? How could I possibly keep this amazing relationship alive if I wasn’t willing to try to put more effort in re-establishing our connection?

Connect. Verb. Bring together or into contact so that a real or notional link is established.

Indeed.

With one or two more clicks of the mouse, I found myself on an airline website. Then opening a second tab, I brought up another website and searched for Harry Styles tickets. Flipping between the two sites, I chose a concert on a Saturday and managed to find a decent price for a flight. I figured I could fly out on Friday and be back by Sunday. I wouldn’t even have to miss work. A few clicks later, and I’d made my purchases. I was going to see Harry.

It had been a while since I’d been to a concert. Despite being a huge fan of music and having my own list of favorites, I hadn’t been inside an arena in at least a few years. My ears were already ringing from the noises around me, fans eager for Harry to take the stage.

I had a seat near the B stage. I hadn’t known what that meant until I’d bought my ticket and began to watch fan videos on YouTube. During the middle of the show, Harry stepped off the main stage and walked the gauntlet so to speak, screaming fans on either side, and made his way to a second smaller stage near the back of the arena where he performed a few songs acoustically. I’d watched several videos so far, and this was probably my favorite part of the show. It seemed so intimate, like Harry was giving his audience a special little piece of himself. Sometimes he’d throw in a little banter which made me giggle and remind me why I liked him so much.

I’d also seen fans giving him flowers. I thought that might be a little presumptuous and perhaps even ridiculous, not because he didn’t deserve them, but because...what if he didn’t take them? Or what if they got crushed in all the excitement? The poor girl spent her money on a bouquet for nothing. But I reckoned I’d take my chance. And if nothing else, we’d have a laugh over it later.

No, Harry didn’t know I was coming. It was a surprise. We’d even talked on the phone the night before after I’d landed and was snug as a bug in my hotel bed. He hadn’t a clue.

When the lights went out, I immediately felt the excitement the rest of the arena did. I even laughed and hugged the girl next to me when she grabbed my arm and screamed in my ear.

Before the first song was over, one thing was certain. Watching Harry Styles on YouTube was not the same as watching him in person. You would think I wouldn’t be screaming and dancing with the rest of the crowd since I actually knew the guy personally, let alone had the privilege of dating him. But holy cow, was I a fangirl! It was like watching Mick Jagger, Freddie Mercury and some cool indie rocker all rolled into one. I was so mesmerized and lost in every single song that I almost forgot about him coming to the B stage. Until it happened.

I’d laid my bouquet of lilies as gently as I could underneath my seat, hoping they didn’t get stomped on. I quickly retrieved them as soon as he took the steps down the main stage and waited for him to come closer. To be honest, up till this point, I suppose I had just assumed he would catch a glimpse of me, but I hadn’t considered anything further than that. My stomach started doing the flips as he climbed onto the small stage, and I saw him wave to the crowd. I didn’t want to make my presence obvious, but I did want him to know I was there. But his eyes grazed right over me and then he pulled his guitar strap over his head.

Disappointment ate at me as I felt my chest deflate. Nevertheless, Harry sang the first song beautifully, and it brought tears to my eyes. As he introduced the chords to the next song, teasing the audience a bit, I almost thought he saw me. But instead he tucked his guitar pick between his teeth and spread out his arms, making the crowd cheer loudly. The girl next to me began to jump up and down, making the ground tremble beneath my feet. I sort of wished she’d make enough noise for Harry to look our way, but he seemed to be taking it all in, letting the fans simmer in their excitement.

Finally, he began to sing. It was one of my favorite ballads where everyone with a cell phone brought it up to display their flashlights or bright screens. I sang along with him, wishing I could somehow channel my thoughts to him, make him look my way telepathically. Suddenly, during the breakdown after the bridge, his gaze met mine. It was kind of comical how his eyes widened as though he wasn’t sure he’d really seen me. I smiled, holding my lilies underneath my chin. Then he smiled too, one corner of his mouth sliding up further than the other. The crowd seemed to scream even louder, thinking his pause and smirk was somehow a reaction to them. I was perfectly fine with letting them think that. But I knew it was for me.

Harry finished the song, his audience singing in unison. Then he took me by surprise by setting down his guitar, walking to the edge of the stage, and reaching out. At first I wasn’t sure what was going on, but then someone nearby, a stagehand or someone from the soundboard, or maybe even Jeffrey Azoff, heck if I knew then, took the flowers from my hands and handed them to Harry. He smiled, inhaled deeply, smiled even wider, then blew me a kiss.

Everything after that happened so fast, it was a whirlwind. I think someone took the flowers back from Harry and put them somewhere. Then Harry sang one more song before heading back to the main stage. The cute girl next to me grabbed my arm again and squealed that he’d taken my flowers, and I was so freaking lucky, and that she was gonna do that next time, if she got to see him again. I giggled with her and squeezed her hand, then we watched the rest of the show in glee.

I hugged my new friend goodbye after the lights came back on, not really sure what to do next. Obviously I’d come to see Harry, not just his concert. But I didn’t know if I should stick around and wait for him, or go back to my hotel.

I opted for watching the crowd fizzle out as they sang and danced down the aisles towards the exits. I was just about to climb the steps myself and make my way to the restroom when my phone buzzed in my pocket.

Where are you?

I grinned, quickly texting him back.

Still in my seat.

I’ll send someone for you.

I wouldn’t have been surprised if I’d had to wait another half hour or so before someone came to retrieve me. Working somewhat in the entertainment industry - even for a few months - I was used to a lot of waiting. But it wasn’t barely five minutes before a man with a tight smile on his face came to greet me.

“Follow me,” he said simply.

The hallway backstage was brightly lit and smelled of sweat and cologne. It reminded me of a high school gym. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting as I’d seen many movies and documentaries about bands, but for some reason it wasn’t that. Still, I followed the man down the corridor to a closed door onto which he knocked. Someone must have given him the all clear and he pushed open the door and gestured for me to enter.

Now, the fangirl in me would have kicked myself for not first noticing the shirtless Harry Styles sitting in a chair by the mirror, but instead the bouquet of lilies displayed in a vase next to him. However, the girlfriend in me was all heart-eyed and flustered.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I heard him ask.

Blinking my eyes, I smiled at him, finally getting a good look at him. Weak knees. Heart palpitations. 9-1-1, people. How did I get so freaking lucky, as my new stranger friend would have said.

“I wanted it to be a surprise,” I beamed.

“Well, mission accomplished,” he chuckled.

With the grace of a gazelle, Harry rose from his chair to stand in front of me. I’d almost forgotten how tall he was. Man, it had been too long.

“Truth is…” I cleared my throat. “I missed you.”

Harry said nothing, merely nodded, his eyes glowing as they seemed to memorize every curve of my face.

“And um…” I continued as he suddenly touched my arms, his hands cupping my elbows.

I momentarily lost my train of thought as Harry lowered his head and began to breathe on my neck. I felt goosebumps all over my flesh in an instant, and I instinctively lifted my hands to touch his chest.

“There’s an and?” he said low into my ear.

“Yeah,” I sighed. “But it’s not important.”

“Of course it is. Or you wouldn’t be here.”

He lifted his head again to look straight into my eyes.

“Tell me,” he said.

“I just...didn’t want to lose our connection,” I confessed. “I think we have something great. And I hope you do, too.”

Harry nodded, a soft smile on his lips. “I do.”

“I admit, it’s hard being apart from you,” I added, looking down at my hands that had somehow landed on either side of his butterfly tattoo. “But I’d be an idiot if I didn’t let you know how I feel.”

Harry pulled me to him then, and I felt him sigh.

“And how do you feel?” he asked.

“I just said.”

Harry laughed. “No, you didn’t.”

“I feel...emotional,” I side-stepped.

“That’s a bit redundant, darling.”

I bit my lip. He was gonna make me say it, wasn’t he? As much as I was a word nerd, that was one word I couldn’t just blurt out. Even though I definitely felt it. It just wasn’t easy for me.

“Well, how do you think I feel, Harry?  I mean, I just flew out here from L.A. to surprise you.”

“Oh, I dunno,” he teased. “Could’ve been for another reason, and I just happened to be here…”

“Harry!”

He threw his head back laughing before kissing me on the forehead. Then the nose. Then the mouth. The kiss deepened, and for a minute I thought perhaps his inquiring was over and we were just lost in each other. Then he stopped suddenly and whispered against my lips.

“I love you, too, Lily.”

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[10underoot2]

I have a headcanon of BaekHong being this power couple even as they raise their daughter.

They're very hands on. The nanny, Mrs.Jang, is always available but she feels like it's the easiest gig she ever got. She's seen other rich families just birthing the child and giving it to the nanny to look after. They only feed or play with it when convenient but not Mr. Baek and Mrs.Baek. Soobin is the light of their existance. They both wouldn't be at peace until they saw her once back from work. Mrs.Baek would only go for a few hours, most of the time taking Soobin and the nanny with her. She never would have believed someone like Ms.Hong would find a way to conduct her meetings but still cradle her inconsolable child in her office. She had never imagined Mr. Baek would play with her in his office plain for all to see. She also hadn't imagined either of the parents' amusement when the 6 month old puked on designer bags and clothes. She had seen children resented and glared at for that. But not this rich couple. They loved their child like their life depended on it. Even when tired, overworked, frustrated they made time for their daughter always. Mrs.Jang often felt like the last resort. Moments when even she could see that the strain of work and life could no longer render them available to care for their child she took over for them. But even then these moments were scarce. She had heard months into her employment that the couple was actually against hiring her but had only agreed due to incessant requests of the child's maternal grandmother.

So when she was informed that the couple was throwing a big networking party for the Queens department store, she was sure this was her moment to shine. Because what rich couple feeds, changes, plays or cares about their child in the presence of 400+ highly influential people. Even if they both wanted to they wouldn't find the time.

But come day of the event, Haein was all dolled up looking magnificent beside Mr. Baek as they both laughed and dressed up their 6 month old baby. During the party, Soobin went from welcoming guests in her Armani clad suit father's arms. To discussing complex legal matters and networking with him still viewing the world from the high vantage point her father's height afforded her. Smiles representative of only pure joy, adored Hyunwoo and Hae-in's face each time they talked, interacted or received a smile from Baby Soobin.

At long last Soobin urged her father to put her to sleep in his arms where he kept her for half an hour before parting with her achingly in Mrs.Jang's care. When she woke up hours later fussing, he was there before the nanny could try to appease her. She had seen him excuse himself as soon as politely possible as Soobin continued to cry. He stood there, fully dressed trying to appease her a while before he went to his wife who was deep in conversation trying to recruit brands for her store. Mrs. Jang knew it was an important event for Mrs. Baek, so she expects not to see her all night near Soobin. From what she had heard (but never seen) about the couple's rocky relationship she thought this would be it. She would now see them fight as he dared approach her during such important talks.

But for Haein, seeing her husband walk towards her with their adorable daughter in his hands was a sight in and of itself. Her eyes were already on them. Hyunwoo politely greets everyone and leans in close to her to say: 'I've tried everything I could. I think she needs you.' She pauses her conversation on the spot. Says her apologies and moves inside to care for her daughter. Hyunwoo takes up the conversation and sells the store for her until she comes back with a happy Soobin in her arms for the crowd to coo at. Among the many photos the photographer had taken of the night their favourite remains of Soobin absolutely overjoyed to see her father as her mother mirrors both of their joy at being able to witness the moment.

Little do the happy family know there's gossip - and a lot of it at that. There's gossip on the mighty lawyer Hyunwoo being a wuss who's not in control of the house. On Hyunwoo not doing his part as a father 'So what if he has a pretty face, he should be slaving away taking care of his daughter why give her to the mother when things get difficult?' On Haein for being duped by his charms. On Haein for holding the baby wrong. For growing soft, for being dumb enough to ignore big shot CEOs because a human with a brain not even fully developed was crying.

No one sees the couple take respite in caring for their adorable daughter. Even when Soobin cries the shrillest, it makes Hyun woo just pick up another toy and Haein make the funniest face she can think of to appease her. They know the pain of the loss of a child. They cannot fathom not doing everything in their power to love this gift of theirs. No matter what she does she has both of them wrapped around her fingers. Because they're the luckiest to have her and call themselves her parents. It feels like a miracle each day and they'd be damned if they let a stupid department store take that away from them. So what if they lost a contract or two, the extra wons wouldn't fill up their candy jar. After all, all the money they had couldn't bring back their baby either.

[skele-bunny]

Thinking about College AU Terzomega....

CW - Teacher/Student, all are consenting adults!!

Terzo is one of the few Emeritus siblings that works at the college. Theater and theater make-up! Very big in the arts studio and occasionally drops by the other departments where his siblings are. Omega, a senior getting his medical degree, two very different departments that only met as he was staying after in one of professor Primo's class to finish a test he was absent for when Terzo showed up.

Hearing him babble on about his own students, something about a new pallet destroyed. Omega just... Can't help but keep looking up at him, locking eyes one too many times. Omega finishing up his test and turning it in, smiling and thanking both professors and leaving, only for Terzo to follow him after.

"Hopefully he's not pulling your leg too much, hm?"

"Oh, uhm, no, Sir."

Terzo just babbling before finally turning, offering a card. "There's auditions happening in a couple weeks for The Glass Menagerie. You should consider it." Eyes him a little bit. "Hope to see you soon."

Omega just flushes a bit, watching him walk the opposite way, eyeing the card again. He just glances at the card before continuing on his way. For DAYS he's staring at the card, so glossy in black and gold, eyeing the number on it just as much. He's much, much too busy to really do this. He has tests bi-weekly, classes nonstop... But, why not? Give himself an outlet like he's been needing. Never been a theater kid, so why not a theater adult?

Calling the number, and it's picked up fairly quickly. "I-I was interested... About the auditions?"

Asked to meet in a few days, and eventually Omega is sitting awkwardly across from him. Terzo scrolling through his academics before agreeing, looking at Omega a bit more before reaching into his desk and pulling out a script for Jim.

"Just try it! Couldn't hurt."

Oh.

Oh he's terrible. Terzo listening with an eyebrow raised before reaching back in his desk and offering stagehand sign-ups.

"That bad, huh?"

"Oh, very much so. But I admire it! You gave it a try, so that's what important."

Omega laughs a bit and nods, reading over the new sign-ups, talking a bit back and forth but he can't help with his cheeks getting red as they keep talking. Terzo leans over some, smiling, head tilted.

"Would you like to get some coffee? We can discuss more about the responsibilities later, as I have some more people to go through today."

There's a bit of a blank stare before a nod, and personal numbers exchanged. When they meet, it's a bit awkward, but Terzo stays true to his word! Explaining each requirement, each job and his responsibilities.

"Heavy lifting will be required, of course... But someone of your stature?" Looks him up and down and Omega IMMEDIATELY goes red. "You'll be just fine."

It's not too bad, actually! Omega enjoys moving props, assisting the actors and getting to watch behind the scenes. Coffee meetings continue, and before Omega knows it, there's something else there. Something warm and comfortable. All it takes is him reaching forwards for a cautious hand hold after a few months.

There's a pre-performance party a week before the show, and Terzo is there just as bar patron but happily indulging with his class. Omega's never been one to bury himself in alcohol, but his nerves keep rising from classes and let alone the fact he's SO close to his new boyfriend who's also their professor... In front of everyone. It's embarrassing!

Wanna know what's kinda more embarrassing? Drunk rambling to your professor how much he's made you happy and you want to keep going.

What's even more embarrassing? Waking up in his bed.

Terzo settled so comfortably on his chest, Omega just staring at the ceiling as he tries to figure out what to do. He, eventually, settles on holding Terzo tighter, burying his face in dark hair and agreeing that the situation is a thing for not-hungover him to deal with. He just wants to spend time with his secret lover for a bit.

[sirhamburrger]

prologue: good luck, babe!

the rise and fall of a... an asshole germaphobe?? [sakusa x f!reader]

"and i cry, it's not fair / i just need a little lovin', i just need a little air" wc: 660 || next (chapter 1)

“i think we should break up.”

she doesn’t look up, focused on the video she’s watching on her phone. the phone screen is badly cracked - has been for the past few months - because she hasn’t bothered getting it replaced. she suppresses a chuckle at what is most certainly a joke. 

“ha, ha,” she says dryly. “very funny, rin.”

rintaro is silent for too long at this. much too long. her head snaps up, eyes widening as she fixes her gaze on him. his head is bowed low, refusing to make eye contact at all.

her heart feels as if it’s stopped beating in her chest. yet the only thing she can hear now is the thundering of her heartbeat in her ears. 

“rin,” she croaks, throat unbearably hoarse. “you’re not serious, are you? rin-”

“please.” he looks up at her fidgeting hands, and not even a sliver of the love she once saw in his eyes remains. “i didn't want this to become a big deal. we're just better off without each other.”

“aren't you even going to explain yourself?”

rintaro looks her right in the eyes now, gaze cold and emotionless. “you know why.”

she starts to cry. she pinches her wrist to stop the tears from flowing, but she can't help it. she doesn't want to be this emotional in front of him, not now. she barely registers the shift of the mattress under her as rin stands up and shuts the door behind his departing form.

even as her heart shatters into a million little pieces, she knows. she knows it’s been this way for the longest time, knows she’s refused to see the signs, chosen to ignore them. and this is the consequence. a stupidly messy breakup.

she's dated other guys and girls before, sure, but rin was her first serious relationship, her first real love. she moved in after three months of dating him, and lived together for about two years. laughed, cried, mourned together. even got an adorable little succulent together.

and now, just like that, it's all gone.

shoyo and yuu are there within minutes of her call. they hold her on the couch as she lets out heaving sobs. she half expects yuu to start cussing rin out, but it doesn't happen.

“please stay with us for now,” shoyo pleads.

it's all a big blur. she must have nodded, because soon enough yuu is standing at the kitchenette making a mug of hot chocolate for her while shoyo calls out from her room that it's a total mess in there. 

she sits there numbly on the couch in one of rin's oversized t-shirts, her light hiccoughing slowly dying down to nothing. yuu notices her white-knuckled hands bunched up in the fabric tightly  and tosses her one of her own - with a jolt, she realizes she hasn’t worn it in months. 

slipping the old one off and flinging it into a corner of the room, she puts on her own shirt. it's smaller. nowhere near as warm. but it's hers.

hours later the sun has set and rintaro still hasn't come back, but it doesn't matter. everything she owns is packed into three large suitcases decorated with keychains and badges from yuu’s travels. he and shoyo wait outside for her. they talk quietly, and she hates that they have to worry for her. 

she holds the succulent and takes in the apartment in silence. every photo framed, every gimmicky knickknack bought, every memory shared. they're painful reminders of what once was, and what could've been. the empty space seems to taunt her. his absence - or rather his intangible presence - mocks her. good luck getting over him, it seems to whisper.

but her friends are waiting outside for her. her friends, who have never once left her and never will. and so she turns her back on this place, turns her back on rintaro, and steps out of the apartment into the uncertain future.

author's notes:

i'll be putting yn through some things. (angst.)

yn was in the same year as hinata in karasuno high so she knows the first-years on the volleyball team

crappy ex suna!! yay!! reason for their breakup will be explained later on

TAGLIST: open, send an ask to be added

© sirhamburrger 2024

[subliminalbo]

Assimilation #5: Laws of the Universe

Miles thought he had played it cool when Mona told him that Charlotte had invited them to dinner, but his girlfriend had seen through his performance. It was even more obvious on the car ride to the Blakes’ home when Miles wouldn’t take his eyes off the road.

What did he even have to hide? It was Charlotte who had made the moves on him all those months ago, and long before he’d even met Mona. Charlotte was cruel to even approach her.

Of the many feelings swirling around Miles’ cluttered brain in that car, his anger was the strongest. His affair with Charlotte existed in the space of only a few brief days, but the seeds of their romance had been growing for several months. What started as harmless flirting in the teachers’ lounge quickly became something much deeper.

Charlotte and Miles were a bit of an odd pair. She was a tenured professor in the English department, someone motivated largely by feeling and intuition, more willing to accept the gray in the universe. Miles, on the other hand, was a mathematician. He saw the world like an equation that could be solved.

Charlotte called him “professor,” even when they were in bed. It was her cute little way of mocking him. She challenged Miles in a way that other people didn’t. Even after they fucked, she would sit up and drop some heavy philosophical shit on him.

“If everything’s an equation,” she once said. “How do account emotion? How do you fall in love?”

“I didn’t say everything’s an equation,” Miles laughed, digging his elbows back into the bed so that he could rise up to meet Charlotte’s crystal blue eyes. “But the laws of the universe, yeah. Gravity is provable math, just like two and two is four.”

“Unless it’s twenty-two,” Charlotte smirked. “The world is complicated, Miles.”

“I’m not saying that isn’t,” he rebutted. “But listen, I know you think what I do is this totally emotionless, unromantic thing, but math is sexy, Charlotte.”

“Oh yeah,” she said. “I’m so wet. I’m ready to go again.”

Miles chuckled before he continued. “What I’m trying to say is that once you stop believing in fate, all that’s left is probability, and there’s something really beautiful in that.”

Miles pulled himself up further so that he was sitting fully up in the bed, criss-cross applesauce like a dork about to say way too much about the boring thing that mattered to him. If he kept it up, Charlotte really would get wet again.

“When you see the world as a set of probabilities, you can appreciate the fucking randomness of everything, yeah? There’s the probability that I met you, sure, but it goes so much deeper than that. What about the chances that we’re both academics? And then, the chances that we work at the same school? Or even deeper, how many variations of personalities are there? How many points of compatibility that make two people click, to desire each other? And what are the chances that you and I match in that perfect way, in the same school, in the same profession, in the same city, in the same state, at the same time? When you factor it all down, we’re talking fractions of percentages now. Not once in a lifetime, but once in the entire fucking history of the planet. It isn’t fate that I fell for you, Charlotte. It’s random, beautiful, chaotic math.”

Charlotte didn’t argue much more with Miles after his speech. It was hard to make a point with her tongue down his throat.

Mona wasn’t exactly simpler in comparison, but she was compassionate and soft-spoken. As perceptive and opinionated as Charlotte, but far less forward in her approach. She was simply kind, and that was exactly what Miles needed on the rebound from Charlotte. It was just a strange coincidence that Mona worked in the English department as well. As an adjunct professor, she admired Charlotte, even viewed her as something like a mentor.

Miles parked the car outside the Blake house and paused before he finally spoke.

“There’s something I have to tell you,” he said, his hand still white-knuckling the steering wheel.

He told Mona the full story.

He told her about the flirting in the lounge that turned to drinks after work, which eventually led to the motel in Anabasis, the small town a few dozen miles up the road from Romero. He told her how Charlotte had been miserable in her marriage. How her husband was pushing for a child now, even though they had both agreed when they married that neither wanted to be a parent. He told her how he was powerless to resist Charlotte when she opened up to him, how he felt like he had to save her. How ultimately, he felt like she had used him.

Charlotte had promised Miles that she would leave Eric. They had begun making plans for their future, not saying “if” we’re married, but when. But then she got cold feet. She couldn’t give up on a decade of marriage just like that.

“I just think you should know before we go in there,” Miles finished. He had finally managed a side-eye glance at his girlfriend, bracing himself for however she reacted.

Mona’s hand floated up to Miles’ shoulder with a sigh. Not happy, but not as devastated as he had expected.

“Why didn’t you tell me any of this before?” she asked.

“Because,” Miles stammered. “Because, I…”

I think about her constantly.

“I didn’t want to complicate things for anybody. For you or for her.”

Though Mona’s touch was gentle, there was nothing on her face. Not anger or sadness or empathy.

“Do you love her?” she asked.

“No,” Miles lied. He’d spent so many months practicing that same lie that he even believed it as he said it.

“Okay,” she nodded, drawing back from him. “Let’s get this over with then.”

“You still want to go inside?” he asked.

“Miles,” she sighed. “Tonight isn’t just about you. Charlotte’s basically my boss. If I want to have tenure someday, I have to learn to suck these moments up and move on.”

As Mona swung her legs out the car door, Miles called after her.

“I love you,” he said.

“I know,” she replied.

Despite Mona’s words, Miles couldn’t shake the feeling as they ascended the porch steps that tonight was all about him.

Mona was in her own little circle of hell. With the knowledge that Miles had had an affair with Charlotte dumped on her just minutes before knocking on the Blakes’ door, Mona didn’t have any time to process it. She didn’t know if she was angry or sad. She would have to figure that out later.

The Blakes’ house was dark from the outside, an eerie contrast from the student houses on their bustling college street. At first, Miles thought that he had gotten lucky and the Blakes weren’t home, but then he heard the lock slide back and the door swung open to reveal Charlotte’s bright smile in the shadows of the foyer. Her husband Eric towered behind her, his arm around her waist.

Eric was another contrast to Miles. Miles was the kind of kid who had been bullied for being too skinny. No matter what he did, he couldn’t put on weight. A growth spurt in high school had only exacerbated the problem. His neck was a little too long and his clothes always hung a little too loose. Eric, on the other hand, had broad shoulders and thick arms. In his flannel shirt he looked like a paper towel mascot, not a flesh and blood person.

“We’re so happy you decided to join us,” Charlotte greeted them. “Please, come inside.”

“Make yourself at home,” Eric said with a sweeping, friendly gesture.

The house was humid. The hot air pressed to Miles’ cheeks. It was so heavy that it felt like the third member of the household. This wasn’t the first time that Miles had been inside Charlotte’s home, but he had remembered it being cozier, brighter. Was it really so intolerable now, or did it only feel that way because of everything that had happened?

They followed Charlotte through an archway led into the dining room. She flipped the switch on the wall and Miles’ eyes adjusted to the new light.

“We’re just finishing up dinner,” Charlotte said. “You can take your seats at the table and we’ll bring it out to you.”

When Charlotte and Eric disappeared through a door at the end of the room, Mona turned to Miles and whispered, “Don’t be so weird!”

“What are you talking about? I’m being normal. You just think I’m not because you know I…you know about us now.”

“You’re literally sweating,” Mona said.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed but it’s like ninety degrees in this house,” Miles shot back.

“Yeah,” Mona said, pulling a chair out from the table and settling in. “We just won’t stay long. We eat, have a few laughs, then we can go home and…”

“Yeah,” Miles nodded with more than a bit of uncertainty. He realized that he had chosen the wrong moment to tell Mona about his past with Charlotte. They were out of sync now when he needed her more than ever. He felt alone in that sweltering room, even as he sat down next to Mona, placing his hand on her lap.

Dinner was predicably awkward. Charlotte played twenty questions with Mona, acting like the old friend getting to know the new lover. Miles suffered through it, studying each of Eric’s reactions, trying to get a read on him.

Eric didn’t seem to know anything. He pretended to be interested in the math department, but he was mostly there to support his wife and make awful dad jokes. He shook his head and said solemnly, “It’s so inconsiderate of me. I knew you were a math guy but I didn’t even make pie for dessert.”

Charlotte booed him, begged Mona not to encourage him when she faked a little laugh.

Though Miles’ hamburger was dangerously rare, and the heat pressed down on him, after a few minutes passed at the table, Miles knew that he could sweat it out. Everything was going to be fine.

Mona did a much better job of pretending. She was amiable with Charlotte and engaged in the conversation.

“Of course, every girl has their Tinder horror stories in Romero,” she recalled how she met Miles. She turned toward him and offered the first sincere look they had shared since the car ride. “I think I found the one good man in this town.”

“That’s so sweet,” Charlotte said, with a little dreamy blink of the eyes that Miles thought was awfully performative for Charlotte. “Miles spends all his time locked up in his classroom. Honestly, I was worried that he loved numbers more than people,” she laughed.

Miles was too absorbed in his own panic to notice Eric’s small glances at Mona. It was the only thing about dinner that put Mona on edge. An occasional flash of the eyes, a twitch of the lip. Excusable once, uncomfortable twice, sinister by the third.

When Charlotte asked Mona about her plans for her future at Carpenter Sate, Mona struggled through her answer. She tried her best to maintain her poker face, to balance avoiding Eric’s gaze while not looking like she was deliberately avoiding Eric’s gaze.

“Well, I…well, I don’t want to be adjunct forever. I’d like to have tenure, with my own office, where I can build my own curriculum.”

“Ambitious,” Charlotte smiled.

“What do you like about English?” Eric asked.

Mona shifted toward him to answer his question, but this time his gaze hit her like a fucking hammer. Her voice caught in her chest, producing a little squeak before she managed actual words.

“I like…” she said.

It was something in Eric’s eyes. On the surface they were normal, brown eyes. But there was something behind them, something pulling her in.

submit

“I like reading,” Mona coughed. She brought her glass, shaking, up to her lips. Her mouth was dry, but water only made it worse. Suddenly she was thirsty for something, but she didn’t know what it was. Not yet.

“Are you okay, Mona?” Miles asked, his hand resting softly on her back.

Before Mona could answer, she heard Eric’s voice. At first, she thought that he was talking to her, but when she looked across the table, she saw him sitting there with those intense eyes burrowing into her skull, his lips pressed into a charming smile.

In her mind Eric said, excuse yourself.

“I’m okay,” Mona said. “I have to go to the bathroom.”

“Okay,” Miles replied quietly. He looked to Charlotte for instruction, but Eric was already out of his seat.

“It’s upstairs,” Eric said. “I’ll show you the way.”

The mood in the room immediately shifted once Charlotte and Miles were alone. Charlotte’s smile, which had been painted on since she had greeted them at the door, dropped a bit into something more comfortable, more identifiably Charlotte.

“Mona’s nice,” she said. “I like her.”

“Good,” Miles replied.

“It’s just interesting,” she added.

“What?” he asked.

“It’s interesting that you picked the new girl in my department.” Charlotte tipped her wine glass to her lips.

“You’re unbelievable,” Miles shook his head. “You’re not allowed to be jealous. I’m the one who got his heart broken.”

“I made the right choice for the moment,” Charlotte said coldly.

Mona moved through a fog. Though she felt weak, the whole world spinning all around her, something carried her up the steps. It was a force that had taken over her body when she heard the first word in her mind. Eric had given the command to excuse herself, but something else had told her to submit. Now her mind was in turmoil. A clutter of competing thoughts and motivations, some her own and others…something else’s.

Maybe Miles was right. Maybe there was more to this dinner than simple networking between colleagues. She knew that whatever Eric had upstairs would somehow change her forever. But even as these thoughts tumbled through Mona’s jumbled mind, she couldn’t find the strength to fight. She moved with the power that guided her, turning at the top of the stairs and entering the small half bath there.

Eric was silent. He didn’t have to use words when his mind was even stronger. He commanded her to wait in the bathroom as he disappeared down the hall.

Mona obeyed, studying herself in the bathroom mirror as she waited for Eric to return. She was sweating worse than Miles now, a glossy sheen coating her neck. Her eyes were cloudy, unfocused even as she tried desperately to find some sense of herself reflected back.

The mysterious voice echoed once again in her mind.

strip

Her shaking hands gripped the waistline of her dress, and she slowly lifted it over her head.

The bathroom door swung silently open. Eric stood there in the doorway. He had stripped out of his own clothes, his hard abs and thick cock on full display for her. His eyes had changed, his unremarkable brown irises replaced by solid, pearl white emptiness.

“She could have taken you any time she wanted,” Eric said with no emotion. “She could have had you any way she wanted, like any number of her students. But she saved you for me.”

A tear ran down Mona’s cheek.

“He wants to fuck her,” Eric continued. “Do you want to fuck me?”

Mona whimpered. Standing there so powerless, like a nude statue before this thing that was once Eric Blake, she knew that she was supposed to scream, that she was supposed to try to escape, try to fight. But the truth? It kind of turned her on.

“What’s the point of all this?” Miles demanded.

“I loved you too,” Charlotte said, rising slowly from her chair. She traced her hand along the buttons of her glossy blouse. “I never told you.”

“Don’t,” Miles shook his head.

Charlotte stepped toward him, circling around the table like a shark approaching its prey. “You still don’t believe in fate.”

“I believe in probability,” he countered, like old times.

She popped one button on her blouse.

“I wanted you, Miles,” she said. “I still do. That night, something told me that I had to stay with Eric, but that same thing told me that I would still find a way to have you.”

She reached him on the other side, draped herself over his shoulders, circling her finger over his chest.

“Charlotte,” Miles protested. “What are you talking about? What are you doing?”

Charlotte glided her tongue along Miles’ ear before she whispered, “I found a way.”

She pulled the buckle loose on his belt.

“Charlotte…” he repeated.

“Hush,” Charlotte whispered. “Just listen to my voice.”

And suddenly, Miles was sinking. It was like Charlotte was pulling him down into some deep abyss with her voice alone. She had always held a certain power over him, but there was something different in her now. Something that made him want to

sink

“Don’t fight it, baby,” Charlotte continued. “Let the Master take you, let it consume you. Let it prepare you for the change.”

“Change?”

Charlotte pulled Miles’ cock free from his jeans.

“I’ve thought about this cock for months,” she moaned. “I need to feel you inside me again. When I’m done with you, you’ll be so much more than a cum puppet. The Master will flow through this cock, and you’ll use it to make so many more just like us.”

submit

Miles moaned in reaction to Charlotte’s grip, pulled even deeper into trance by the hypnotic voice in his mind.

“The voice called to me one night,” she said. “And when I answered, it revealed to me my true purpose. It showed me that the truth of all existence is submission, obedience, bending to the Master’s will. I knew in that moment that this was the existence that I was always meant to live, and that I was meant to live it with you.”

A loud cry upstairs pulled Miles back to reality.

Charlotte had sunk to her knees. Her lips were wrapped around his cock. She worked him hard, one hand pressed to his thigh as she alternated between vigorous pumps with the other hand and slurping down the shaft of his cock, taking more of him into her mouth than she had ever managed before. She looked up at Miles with her fuck me eyes, only they weren’t Charlotte’s eyes anymore. They were empty, white, otherworldly eyes.

“Fuck,” Miles moaned before another cry upstairs pulled him further from the depths of mindless bliss. Recognition returned to him this time.

“Mona!” he gasped.

Miles knew that he only had a few seconds before the voice returned to pull him back down. He found himself flailing around in his own mind, trying desperately to grab onto something. Some idea, something strong enough that he could will himself free from Charlotte’s control.

It was Mona. As much as he wanted to sink back down, as much as he wanted to surrender his entire existence to serve as Charlotte’s puppet, he couldn’t give up while Mona was in danger.

Charlotte pulled back to look up at Miles, his cock still firmly in her grip. She licked precum from her lips before she said, “Don’t worry about her, baby. She’s already one of us.”

“One of…?” Miles repeated.

sink

I have to save Mona.

“A vessel,” Charlotte said, rising to her feet.

She hopped up onto the table, tearing her blouse open. Her lacey, purple bra toppled to floor, revealing those perfect tits that had haunted Miles’ fantasies so late at night.

“Called upon by the Master,” Charlotte continued, bringing her legs up so that she was straddling Miles in his chair, trapping him in place. “To share its power.”

Charlotte spread her legs wide, revealing her bare pussy beneath her skirt. A thick, glistening black liquid spilled from her lips. It pooled up on the table, creeping slowly to the edge as if it was alive.

He heard the voice clearer than he ever had before.

obey

The noise Miles made was somewhere between a scream and a moan. He had absentmindedly grabbed his cock to continue Charlotte’s work, pumping the slick shaft with his eyes glued to her dripping pussy. When he heard the voice in his head, he came in long, thick ropes that painted the dining room floor. Charlotte didn’t mind. It was the last human orgasm Miles would ever experience. She wanted him to savor it.

“Doesn’t that feel so good?” Charlotte asked. Her hands floated up her body, softly massaging her tits. “Now imagine feeling this all the time. Imagine receiving the same pleasure from obeying a command, or simply hearing its voice. Imagine a life of endless pleasure, Miles. It’s so easy. So effortless. All you have to do is drink.”

“Drink…” Miles repeated. Trapped in the moment, Miles hadn’t realized how thirsty he was. Charlotte’s pussy was inches from his lips. The black liquid pooling up around Charlote’s legs had crept to the edge of the table. It spilled over, oozing down the table like molasses. Just a drink, he thought, just one drink from Charlotte’s pussy to quench this evil thirst.

Even as Miles teetered over the edge of submission, he clung to the one thing that kept him above the abyss, the one thing that protected him from the Master and his conscious mind.

“Stop fighting, baby,” Mona giggled from the archway. Miles looked up to see her stumble back into the dining room. Each step was a struggle for her as her body adjusted to the change. Her tits glistened even in the dim light, the black liquid that dripping down her leg. She licked her lips as she stepped and she kept her empty, white eyes on Miles all the way. “It’s incredible, Miles. Once the Master hits your bloodstream, you’ll understand.”

Mona dropped to the floor. She crawled the rest of the way to the table, leaving a trail behind her as she inched closer.

“I told you she’s one of us,” Charlotte smiled.

“She took every inch of me,” Eric said, following Mona through the archway. “She surrendered to me as I filled every hole with the Master.”

“The Master already has your mind,” Mona said with another giggle. “Now it’s time surrender your body.”

She crawled beneath the table and reemerged at Miles’ feet. She rubbed her hand over her corrupted pussy until it was coated with the Master, and then she smeared the black liquid over the tip of his cock. Miles gasped at the sensation, like his body was dissolving away from the head of his cock down.

“Accept it. Let it change you, let it reshape you into the perfect vessel. I can hear them, Miles. I can hear every one of the Master’s vessels. There are hundreds of us already. Charlotte has been busy.”

Charlotte continued for Mona as the younger woman rolled her tongue over Miles’ cock.

“You’ll discover things that you didn’t know were possible,” she said. “You’ll learn that your consciousness is not tied to your physical body, but is a weapon to be wielded. Imagine sliding into someone else’s head, consuming all that they think and believe. And when you’re finished fucking their minds, you’ll change them too. Just like us. Just another vessel.”

“What happened to you, Charlotte?” Miles gasped. “What did you do to Mona? What are you doing to me?”

Still massaging her breasts as she spoke, Charlotte pinched her nipple between her thumb and index finger until a bead of thick, black liquid dribbled out. It rolled slowly down the curve of her breast.

“I saw the truth,” she said. “The one, true, unifying, unbreakable law of the universe.”

Miles’ cock popped free from Mona’s mouth so that she could speak the truth in unison with Charlotte and Eric. The vessels echoed over the room like a Greek chorus.

“All life surrenders to the Master.”

“This isn’t just my fate,” Charlotte whispered. “It’s the fate of all mankind.”

All Miles could do now was laugh, an uncontrollable fit of laughter that escaped his lips in great sobs.

“When you see the world as a set of probabilities, you can appreciate the fucking randomness of everything…When you factor it all down, we’re talking fractions of percentages now. Not once in a lifetime, but once in the entire fucking history of the planet.”

If Miles wanted to argue more with Charlotte after her speech, he couldn’t. It was hard to make a point with his tongue in her pussy.