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shadedheart138 · 4 months ago

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Too Much Thinking Is Bad For My Health (Part One)

Warriors was currently staring at his bowl of lovingly made chili with wide eyes. Today had not been a good brain day, not at all. Another of those days where no matter how much he loved the person making the food, or how many times he was told it wasn't going to kill him, he just couldn't bring himself to eat it.

The war had been hard. Too many assassination attempts from poison. It had made him terribly paranoid, and for good reason. Finding hemlock in your dinner wasn't a nice surprise. Funny how that was one of the only things comforting him now, was poison. Both his savior and his condemner.

Warriors had gone searching, bones showing and body shaking, for a way to make his brain quiet about the poisonings. Once the war was over, he hadn't much a need for being so paranoid. But it didn't go away, no matter how much therapy he tried or how many medications he took to make everything stop. So he'd turned to older methods. Seemingly simpler methods.

Mithridatism. The act of self-poisoning yourself in small increments to build immunity. If you're immune, you can't die, simple math. No one told him that it could become his only solace, the only thing he'd turn to. Almost an addiction. How ironic.

Warriors' hands shook, as he cradled his chili bowl. He was getting weird glances at this point, and worried ones from Time and Wind. They knew. They were aware of how messed up his brain was. They weren't aware, however, of the self-poisoning. Warriors looked back down at his bowl and attempted to pick up the spoon. No, nope, no.

He put the spoon back down and reluctantly put the bowl down altogether, pale. He tried to plaster on a smile. "I just don't think I'm very hungry right now, Wild. I'll eat something later." He said to the cook, trying to ignore how his voice shook. He got up and dusted off his pants, heading to his bedroll instead of sitting down by the fire like he usually did. Before he settled down, he pulled out his pack and ran his fingers over the very small vial in the front pocket. Hemlock, the very same thing that had nearly killed him so many times. It brought him both relief and anxiety.

"I'll take second watch, after Sky." He called quietly, and laid down, eyes still open and wide awake. He ignored the whispers, ignored the "I'll just save him something, for when he takes watch.", ignored the "Time, can you make sure he at least eats something, once you swap shifts?".

Everything faded as he attempted, in vain, to doze.

XXX

A handful of hours later, Warriors was gently shaken by a sleepy Sky. " 'S your turn, Captain. There's a good handful of fruits and a sandwich wrapped on a log for you, that Wild made. He figured you'd be hungry later." Warriors got up, pulling his sword to his back.

"Thank you, Sky. Get some sleep."

"You bet I will."

Warriors sat on the log, looking at the fruit. Two apples, an orange. A pear, some durians. He ignored all of them, and unwrapped the sandwich. He had no intention of eating it, just curious as to what it was. Maybe he could toss it out into the woods for Wolfie, if he was around. Could lie and say he ate that instead.

Lying didn't sit right. It was turkey cheese. He wrapped it up again and set it aside, staring out into the dark.

Eventually, even the dark wasn't as comforting as it had been. It was too quiet. Quiet, but Warriors could hear every snap of a twig, every leaf, every rustle, it was too quiet but it was too loud but it was- He scrambled for his pack, hands trembling. He pulled out the vial. Whether he wanted it to or not, it comforted him. He'd take it around this time every night anyway. Consistency. The vial was mostly empty, nearly ready to be replaced with another month's worth. Warriors uncorked it, shuddering as he breathed in the smell of something so deadly, something so ready to kill him yet it was the only thing keeping him alive. He looked around, making sure no one was awake; double, triple checking- then lifted the vial of poison to his lips.

"Hey, you okay?" The voice startled him, and there went the next three days down his throat. Warriors jumped, put down the vial, and looked to his side. Time was standing nearby, dressed in only an undertunic and pale pants. He didn't seem to notice the vial, so Warriors tucked it into his neckline and pretended he hadn't just taken something that could definitely kill him.

"I'm f-fine." Warriors' voice broke. Fuck.

"Clearly not. What's on your mind?"

Warriors twiddled his thumbs and sort of hunched in on himself, trying to push the poison from his mind. If he focused on it he might just go insane.

"The war, as always. I promise, it's just bad memories." Not quite a lie, not quite the truth.

"Anything I can help with?" No.

"No, it's just..."

How do you explain to your little (not so little now) brother that you poisoned yourself every night? You didn't. It was something he refused to do. He wouldn't subject Time to it.

"It's just hard, remembering. I'll be okay." Warriors tried to smile warmly, it came out as more of a grimace. Time sat down next to Warriors and took a hand, watching him with that one eye full of such wisdom, such love. "You will be okay. How about we take this watch together, hm?" He let Warriors lean on his shoulder a little.

"Alright." Just to humor him. Just to show he was fine and he'd be fine.

"I love you, brother. Get some rest if you can, okay?"

"Love you too, Sprite."

XXX

The morning was hell. What the fuck. Where was the sky? Why were people talking so loud? What time was it? His throat, he couldn't breathe, it was so hard, where was the oxygen? Where...

Warriors groaned quietly, and several people jumped.

"Warriors? Are you okay, can you hear me?" Hyrule asked quietly. Warriors barely opened his eyes, then shut them again.

"Hylia, his breathing is barely there. Shit shit shit, Legend, grab a potion, a fairy, something." Hyrule said frantically. Legend was rifling through Wars' pack and pulled free a fairy.

Wind was crying. Who would do this to his brother, who was normally so kind, so sweet, who loved them all and laughed like the father Wind didn't quite remember? Who patched his wounds no matter how small, who sewed his favorite shirt together and held him tight when he couldn't stand the memories? Soothed him to sleep and kissed his hair and spun him around in the sun with a smile? Someone who was so strong and who was there for everyone, no matter how much he was falling apart?

Wind was crying.

Time was frantic. For the first time in a while, he was frantic. None of the Links could have poisoned him, everyone was so clearly upset and everyone loved each other so dearly. No one would poison Warriors, no matter how paranoid he was of it. Who would? Who would do this to the man that took care of Time when he was just tiny little Mask, who joined him in pranks and helped raise him? Who taught him how to read and write and do math and love those around him, when he'd originally hated the world? Who taught him to see the sheer beauty in living?

Time was frantic.

Wild was terrified.

Had it been his food? Was Warriors allergic to anything he'd made? Certainly he'd have said something? Was it him, who'd done this?

Four was at war with themself, a blue voice trying to place blame and a violet voice trying to list out everything and anything about the situation and a red voice sobbing and a green voice trying to quiet them-

Sky was also crying.

Legend was crying, though he'd hide it.

Hyrule was crying.

Twilight was pacing, and- you guessed it- crying.

Warriors was dead.

Then he wasn't; the fairy had brought him back. His breath was barely there, but he was there, he was alive. Hyrule shuddered softly, hands glowing with magic. Legend was still looking around in Warriors' pack, whispering expletives and wiping tears. His hand hit the hidden pocket.

Warriors turned just enough that the vial he'd forgotten about glinted from his bedroll. Hyrule frowned and picked it up.

Legend unzipped the pocket.

Hyrule lifted the vial to try and figure out what the residue was.

Legend took one of the vials out.

Hemlock.

They locked eyes, then looked at their pale brother.

"What the FUCK." Legend snapped, taking out vial after vial of deadly poison; foxglove, hemlock, nightshade, all manners of things. "What the fuck."

"Did he poison himself?" Hyrule asked, voice shaking. Someone called out the word poison, a question, then the worried voices and cries rose.

"Looks like it. Hell, he wouldn't have gone out so slow if he'd taken a full one. Why did he take one in the first place?" Legend cradled all of the poisons in a hand and stashed them away in a small pouch. More sobbing, a thud of knees hitting the ground, gentle shushing.

Time's eyes snapped to Warriors, who was stirring. He went over to him, searching for any sign that he was still being dragged under the poison's influence. He'd be sick and sore for a while after this. Wind hiccupped and heaved for air, wailing. Reminding people he was only fourteen, was still a child, had just seen his brother die. Sky held him tighter, from their spot on the ground.

"Captain? Are you with us?" Time asked gently. Warriors opened fever-bright eyes. His hair was messy, his chest heaved weakly. His body shook and he wheezed.

"Sprite? Th' fuck happened?" He asked, voice rough.

"Poison, Warriors. You have lots of it. There was a vial in your bedroll. Did you... did you take it? You're really sick, now." The 'did you want to leave us' was unspoken, but it was there.

"Shit." Warriors whispered. He closed his eyes again, then opened them. "Yeah, I took it."

"WHY???" "WHAT THE HELL?" "SHIT." "THE FUCK, WARRIORS, ARE YOU INSANE?" "NO." "WARRIORS, WHY?" There were various shouts. Wind's crying increased, and Sky tried to calm him, making Four join them to try and help. Warriors flinched. Legend was the only one who didn't seem quite as phased. Wind fisted his hands in Sky's sailcloth and shook terribly. Sky petted his hair.

"Mithridatism." Warriors said hoarsely. He closed his eyes again. Talking was more of an effort than he'd bargained for. His head was pounding and fuzzy.

Legend filled in. "Mithridatism. It's an old war tactic, I think, that kings and nobles and such would use. Self poisoning in non-lethal amounts to try and build an immunity. Could be seen as a coping mechanism, could be seen as an addiction. Can be both." Legend's voice was quiet and somber.

Warriors kept his eyes closed, nodding mutely.

"Warriors, how long...?" Time asked. Warriors just shook his head. He was so fucking tired. He wanted a nap. Everything ached. "Wait, wait, please. We've got to talk about this. How much did you take? Was it on purpose?"" Time whispered, anxious of the answer.

"Accident. Didn't mean to take that much. Maybe three day's worth." Warriors whispered, before letting his eyes stay closed and his mind fade.

"Watch him, please." Time said to Hyrule. Hyrule only nodded, crouching down to sit near him. He then went to Wind, to take him from Sky. Sky reluctantly let go, and Wind turned to curl up against Time. "Why?" Wind asked, coughing in between sobs.

Time didn't have an answer to give him.

XXXXX

Guys now I have to make a part two what the fuck it really got away from me holy shit

@rrainydaydreams, @rebornofstars IT'S OUT AND ABOUT AND HOLY SHIT I HAVE TO MAKE A PART TWO RAA

#careful #this one's kinda a touchy one #fanfiction #linked universe #linkeduniverse #warriors lu #angst #I love wars but fuck did I put him through it #title from We Are by TFK #2000 words guys!#This took too long because the big sad came and grabbed me lmao

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chimielie · 1 year ago

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when i read the line "his jealous hoard of the moments where you were his and his alone" i understand him completely because hes mine and mine alone and when i read the line "your future doesnt involve cooking at home while he rules the court" i think of the imagery u put in my mushied brain of tooru being the king of his court in both a royalty way and the volleyball court way but maybe not even wanting that but wanting something simpler something more subtle and quiet and HIS ALONE SO NO ONE ELSE CAN SEE U THE WAY HE SEES U and when i read the line "i can give you a star tooru, is that enough?" i think of his obsession with space because maybe its beautiful so he finds it amazing but its also representive of all the possibilities of all the unknowns that he wants to conquer such as earning your favor, making you his, taking your star but putting it in his universe that you are obliviously the center of which already has stars of every moment you're together bc any memory with you is a star added to his galaxy and when i read the line "you're looking at him like hes the sun, like hes a king" i think of the precarious crown tooru balances on his head that threatens to fall with every gritted step he takes but for some reason his steps feel lighter around you and he feels the weight of the crown so much more but wants to remove it and just be himself because thats all you see him for and for the first time in his life he feels more than enough as just himself and when i read the line "the barrier hasnt been knocked down yet but this is laying him siege" i think of how you lay me siege with your writing bc how tf are u gonna write a sequel to honeybee and not expect me to go feral and when i read "a promise is all i need" i think of how im promising tooru my hand in marriage bc im going to marry him so hard the water sign in him will evaporate and he will be the very the air i breathe (sanest oikawa lover) and now im thinking of how you me and him are all water signs and this is so bad for our health

mika im screaming thank you for this?4$;&:!4?;& also you are truly the only person that Understands. my god.

oikawa is the king (royalty) (volleyball) your future is (queen) (doesn’t involve being his housewife while he rules the court) (because you’re opposed to taking that role AND because you know that the crown is a lonely path AND you don’t want oikawa to take that upon himself)

reader (understands) (sees him) (the double burden of wearing the crown and pretending it’s not heavy on his head) (and he’s almost able to ignore it and keep up that pretense 24/7 except for when you’re with him) (and it relieved and hurts him at the same time)

SANEST OIKAWA LOVER AHAHAHAHAHAH

what do u mean a water sign triple is a perfect dynamic. and nothing is ever going to fall apart. we are gods (collapsed on the floor)

also who says i didn’t expevt u to go feral. i just hoped it would live up to the first 💘💘💘

#I LOVE YOU THANK YOU FOR THIS 🥺🥺🥺🥺 I LOVE THAT WE SHARE THIS LORE AUGHRGAUSG #ask n answer #mika!

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clunelover · 1 year ago

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So okay, now that I’m getting success with a couple methods of growing mushrooms, I’ll post a little about that as I had said I would.

I still haven’t even taken them that many times - but I could just tell right away that they were good for me and my brain, and I wanted to make them a regular part of my life, and I didn’t want to have to mess around trying to buy them from someone.

I started researching how to grow them, and found that there is a large and very helpful community of amateur mycologists. The main places I looked were Reddit, and this mushroom message board called shroomery. I would say the people on Reddit are nicer although the shroomery people maybe do more deep dives into science stuff, using agar and other advanced techniques I haven’t even touched yet.

I also found out that growing them can be relatively simple and inexpensive. Although there’s tons of info out there, some of it conflicting, and plenty of “intro kits” that are expensive and, I believe now, overly complex.

I decided to start off with these all in one grow bags I got from Mycohaus.

They have grain (rye berries) which is what the spores grow on, and then once they’re colonized enough you mix them into the substrate, all without even opening the bag. You can fruit them in the bag or transfer them late to somewhere they have more room.

This really couldn’t be simpler - you get a syringe with spores or liquid culture, inject into the “self healing port” and wait for the mycelium to appear. I decided I wanted to do it this way because, although it’s kind of expensive to get those bags (and serious mycologists think they’re bad because then you don’t have to learn sterile technique?) I wanted the best chance of actually growing something my first time.

Spores: You can buy spores via a bunch of online retailers. As long as they are for “microscopy only” and there’s no discussion about cultivation, all fine.

You can also get liquid culture which is a liquid with initial mycelium in it - this is actually illegal because once it starts growing, it has become illegal…but the place I got from has all these disclaimers about how this is “isolated” mycelium that has been tested and contains no psilocybin/other active compounds. As far as I can tell, that is some sort of loophole language that is not true.

I got my spores from “millywyco” (google if you want to find them) and then graduated to liquid culture from inoculate the world.com. LC is more expensive but starts growing faster.

These grow bags worked amazingly. I’d say I’ve churned out about 140g dry weight. A moderate dose is 3g…micro is 0.1-0.5g depending on who you ask. I inoculated them with spores in mid January, they started fruiting April 3, first harvest April 8 (once they’re really growing, they grow fast). They are still fruiting.

So…that’s really all I needed to do to be set for ages. But I am now addicted to growing them, obv. I want to try every strain. I want to try different methods of growing.

So next up is the “uncle Ben’s” method in which you inject stuff into these sealed bags of shelf stable cooked rice!! On the one hand, it’s easier and cheaper cause you can get these bags anywhere. On the other hand, it’s harder cause it’s a little more contamination prone (you have to open the bags to make a air exchange hole and then cover it with micropore tape, and stuff can get in while you’re in the process of that). You also have to prep your own substrate by pasteurizing it, unlike the grow bags which are filled with it already pasteurized.

I injected my first Ben’s bags with LC on 4/15 and I now have my first little baby pins. So it does seem to have been quicker.

Best resources I’ve found:

- subreddit r/unclebens. They go over this technique in great detail, lots of posts with questions and help

- YouTube user the rookie mycologist - getting to watch someone just at the start of their journey, approaching it like I did (trying a few different methods to see what would work best)

- YouTube 90 second mycology - more stuff on uncle Ben’s technique (90 seconds refers to the cook time for the rice - not the length of videos). The key thing I got from them is how to pasteurize substrate. A lot of people tell you to just put it in a big bucket and pour boiling water in it. But this can cause too low of temps and incomplete pasteurization. 90 second guy will show you how to do oven pasteurization

- YouTube Philly Golden Teacher - idk just the first one I watched, pretty helpful, will teach you “broke boi tek” which involves boiling rice yourself and sterilizing it in jars, rather than using ready rice

The only other things I needed to get:

Still air box - a box with arm holes for doing work with your bags and syringes and stuff to keep them protected from spores and stuff in the air . Can buy them for like $100 or make them for almost nothing, which my sister did for Xmas for me following this guide https://mycotown.com/still-air-box/

Supposedly for what I’ve been doing, you may not even need a SAB since everything is already sterile and sealed - but the number one rule of this is “you can’t be too sterile.”

Food dehydrator. They need to be dehydrated for storage. If they have any water left in them they will rot

Anyway, that’s about all I know! I find it uniquely rewarding and exciting. I hope to someday get into isolating genetics and using agar. If any of you ever want to try growing yourself, message me with any questions!

#mycology

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alinagentry90 · 2 years ago

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5 Ways to Encourage Creative Thinking Of Your Children

Contrary to common opinion, creativity is not a trait you either have or don't have. It is possible to learn how to think critically or creatively. Promoting creative thinking in your child is a terrific way to start establishing the foundation for their future success. We don't know what the future holds for our impressionable students. Technology, employment, and industries most likely won't exist yet or won't resemble anything they do now. So how do you prepare your child for a future filled with uncertainty? Any job, career, or business can benefit from the capacity to think creatively and solve challenges. Children, especially toddlers, are naturally curious as they start to explore their surroundings. They like to discover new things, go on adventures, and try new things. By encouraging your child to pursue their natural curiosity, you can help them cultivate a love of learning and help them become successful lifelong learners.

5 Ways To Encourage Our Children To Be Creative

1. Encourage them to continue on:

Telling your kids to look for fresh information will encourage them to explore more. Tell them to focus on simpler poetic structures excluding those with rhyming concluding sentences. Give them a book that describes the different types of poetry. Please mention a few of the poets who most inspire you. Give them your video camera instead, and let them create a Spielberg-inspired movie. You may foster and encourage creative thinking of your children in a variety of ways.

2. No ideas are bad ideas.

Children have a lot of ideas. Ideas are how creativity appears. A concept's originality is undermined by dismissing or even making fun of it. Children will surely have foolish ideas, but they frequently have good logic or mental processes. Try to highlight the benefits and describe other factors they should consider before putting such an idea into effect.

Children who are afraid to make mistakes frequently have less unique ideas. You must therefore encourage an environment where kids may be creative, make a mess, and feel comfortable making mistakes.

3. Give them privacy and Independence.

Children only have their imaginations and the things that are readily available to them when they are left to their own devices. Kids are unrestricted in what they can do, so allowing them to explore their own hobbies and ideas is a fantastic way to foster creativity. According to Bringing Up Great Kids, at the age of two, kids start to want more freedom. As early as possible, you should encourage your child to make clear decisions about their lives. The level of independence you should expect from children must, of course, be acceptable for their age, level of development, and the particular activity (you shouldn't, for example, expect your 3-year-old to start taking the bus). Allow children to wander off the route without micromanaging them! Encourage kids to make their own games and daily plans as a way to develop their creative side.

4. Limit your child's screen time.

The only thing you need to do to watch television is passively stared at images that are moving so quickly that your brain can't process them. It lacks imagination, thought, and participation. This Healthline article claims that a significant study shows that too much screen time can be detrimental to kids' cognitive and linguistic growth. It is clearly unrealistic to entirely outlaw this activity (screen time is a lifesaver when I'm trying to cook or if I just need some time for my sanity), but you should keep an eye on how much is being viewed, check in frequently, and occasionally bring in an instructional programme. Even better, try something novel, like seeing a well-known book being read aloud on YouTube. Screen time that previously would have been "numbing" is now a fantastic opportunity for listening. Watching television will not stimulate original ideas as much as reading, painting, playing, speaking, or cooking will.

5. Help Them Pursue Their Passions.

Parents frequently encourage their kids to participate in activities or sports that they find enjoyable or that they think they will excel in. While exposing children to a variety of activities is a good idea, giving them some latitude to select their area of interest can encourage their creative thinking. Humans are far better at learning new things and expanding their knowledge when they are completely immersed in it.

Pay attention to the activities that your child is really interested in, then make sure they have access to them. Don't be discouraged if your child changes their mind about a hobby because kids can be fickle about their interests. If you simply urge them to follow their next passion, they might come back to something they've already tried.

Children's creativity is important because it is necessary for so many activities in life. Being creative gives one the ability to think imaginatively and the bravery to generate ideas on the spot. It encourages kids to take chances, takes pride in their successes, and use their imaginations. Creativity is essential to a child's mental growth, which is significant in and of itself. To learn more about Encourage the Creative Thinking Of Your Children visit goglobalways.com

#kids #Creativethinking #creativethinkingskills #helptokids #codingforkids #problemsolvingskills #SelfAwarenessSkill #happiness

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thesunshinebunny · 3 years ago

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When the world falls apart, the only thing we can hold onto is ourselves (Part VII)

Series Master list

pairing: canon Eren Jaeger x reader

content: Angst, unstable relationship, breakup, smut/nswf+18, major character death, violence, blood (obviously), war (pretty obvious)

summary: War and hate. It’s what defined the world at this exact moment. You failed your comrades, and by failing them, you failed yourself. Your relationship is hanging by a thread and your enemies will not only be found on the other side of the sea, but also in the mind of the person you love the most. How will you take the reins in the face of so much destruction?

Chapter summary: Sometimes, to understand the present, it’s necessary to pay a visit to the past. While reader is in a deep sleep, their unconscious plays a trick on them by reminding the most important and catastrophic moments in their life.

Word Count: 9.1K

Year 847, a very hot and humid day.

First day of training in the 104° squad. Each of the hundreds of soldiers coming into the slaughterhouse gathered in lines, lined up, waiting for our first orders. Announcement of names and locations. Some serious who didn’t need an introduction, other clowns who didn’t take the training seriously. Instead, I...was waiting with an empty view towards the horizon, not seeing anything or anyone in particular.

First day, call and presentation; some came from cities, some from towns, but none from a filthy wealthy family of nobility, much less royalty. Most of us simple villagers, presented on a silver platter for the aristocracy, entering our graves on our own. Each one would have their reasons, some simpler than others, some more hypocritical than others, and others more selfish than all of us here.

First day, and there were already a couple on the ground and others being severely punished. Like the tall girl with a ponytail who had the brilliant idea to not only steal, but also cook a potato before training and eat it in the middle of line formation. A village girl, a hunter and faithful to her principles and culture; a girl who wasn’t ashamed to show her true colors on the first day, even if it gave her a punishment that would end up lasting for hours, until nightfall. An incredible example for the most stupid, but equally for the bravest. I think it was hearing where did she coming from that something inside me arose like a flower in the middle of spring, or maybe it was hearing her resound every minute around the training ground until the moon rose. I’m not very clear about it. Maybe I wanted to be nice to someone after a long time, and what better way to start with a person who was humiliated on the first day of what would be our next life.

I wasn’t quick enough to bring her something to eat when her punishment ended, a certain very short blonde beat me beforehand, but I was quick to save her a seat next to me the next night, while saving her a portion of bread. I assumed she would like it, and I wasn’t wrong. She devoured every last crumb along with her ration of dubiously sourced food on a metal plate. Hearing her eat with such enthusiasm brought a smile to my face, it reminded me of the little tadpole children who came and went in my town, asking for a piece of bread or an apple, even knowing that they had food at home. Those playful children who wandered through the small market, looking for some candy and returning disappointed at their doors when they hadn’t found any.

"I didn't hear yesterday where you came from"

Sasha, I think that's the name of the girl in front of me. Apparently she was talking when my mind wandered with nostalgia and melancholy. Her eyes were very fixed on mine, and as much as I looked away, I could still feel them penetrating my skull. I guess you can't dodge the past for long, right? At the very least, I tried to be as cautious as possible when giving my answer.

"I come from a village northeast of the wall Maria, far enough away from the wall to be warned of the fall before a titan reached our town"

She played with the poorly made metal spoon on a piece of carrot that came out of the poor soup, already cold, that this place delighted us for the second night in a row. I made me a mental note to go out hunting every now and then if I wanted to have a good meal and not end up anorexic and a failure.

“And what do you do in your village? In mine we are dedicated to hunting, but they’re taking away the land for the cattle” She took a huge bite of his bread, showing how angry she was. I couldn’t blame her, taking the land out of a hunting village was like taking away their essence, a part of their soul.

"We’re dedicated to raising horses and handicrafts" From our town came the fastest horses that the military police could ask for, some of them stayed for the field and keep the children busy.

Beautiful horses dedicated to the gambling of the nobility, others common for the plowing of the agricultural peoples. Horses dedicated to the race for the survey corps; what the government needed, we provided. It would be hypocritical of me to say now that the horse was my least favorite animal. It was not. For me they were the most beautiful, faithful and loyal creatures in this whole little world. My favorite animal without a doubt.

I wanted to talk about the various horses we managed to sell at a high price to the most authoritarian court on the Rose wall, but a noise from behind our table made my jaw drop.

A "Tsk" echoed throughout the dining room.

I turned my head, hoping to find an animal, or anything but a human like us. To my misfortune, I met the withering look of a brunette with bright green eyes, just as bright as those of the forest, and his hand holding the spoon tightly, as if my simple face angered him.

"Do you have a problem, Jaeger?" I remembered him from yesterday. Serious, tall, with a look that could kill you at any moment. Decisive and lethal. At the same time conceited and childish. He had won the ears and admiration of the majority here with well-used words and a touch of drama.

"Yes, I have a problem" his hand let the spoon escape on the plate, causing some drops to fly in all directions "I have a problem with people like you"

He got up from his seat, walking slowly but steadily toward my table, planting himself in front of me. The lap dog as a friend of his following behind him with a decomposed face, one hand half raised, perhaps to stop him if necessary. But let's face it, of the two, Eren was the one with the most strength, it was obvious to the naked eye.

"And what is that due to? Or do you wait for me to get into your little head and find some clue that can help me understand the cockroach you have for a brain?" At no time did I get up, I wasn’t going to lower myself to the same situation as him.

Half of my body had my back to him, so I was looking at him over the shoulder. He may not have liked that, ‘cause he immediately grabbed my shoulder and turned me around, waiting for me to look him in the eye.

"People like you, who come from villages far from the cities, who don’t know the real danger, are a problem" He looked so angry, angry with the world perhaps? I couldn't find an answer to that anger, nor the source of his feelings. But what I did know, was that he wasn't going to let me be trampled on by a fool who knew the world simply by seeing a titan within his short life.

"Excuse me, but you realize that many here come from villages far from the big cities and only very few saw a titan with their own eyes" And it was those same people who began to get up and look at him with bad eyes. The same ones who looked at him with wonder, as if he were an angel fallen from heaven to bring them the news of the world.

I fervently removed his hand from my shoulder and deigned to stand up, trying to gain some ground in this pathetic discussion. I wasn't going to raise my voice like I assumed the boy in front of me was going to do it at any moment, so my body did it instead.

"I don't understand what your complaints are about, but please, oh great Eren, the one who saw a titan bigger than the wall, explain to me" I could notice how his other friend was approaching towards his back, looking at me with caution. Now, of the group of three, with her I had to be the most careful.

"Are you making fun of me?" he took a dangerous step towards me.

“’course not” ‘Course yes, but I wasn't going to say it openly.

"People who don’t see the enemy in the face think they can come out of the walls to face it" did my ears hear that correctly? I looked at him as if a third eye had popped out on his forehead.

"Not having seen a titan in my short life doesn’t mean that I cannot go out to fight them"

"And yet you have no fucking idea what you're up against" the conversation was getting more and more heated, his feet were getting closer to mine and I could lightly feel his breath on my skin.

"That doesn't mean you can come and mistreat me" I instantly threw myself back, but ran into the legs of the table. Sasha's hand rested on my shoulder, unable to encourage me with words, but enough emotionally.

"Fucking villagers" he took a step back, turning on his heel and looking, without seeing, or so it seemed, the crowd around him "you don't know what it’s to see a relative of yours being eaten in front of your eyes!"

Ah, that's where so much hatred for the world came from. But I wasn’t his target. He must express his emotions, his anger, towards a common enemy, not towards a comrade who was going to help him in battle. Taking it with me wasn’t going to help him at all, and the fact I was from a small village didn’t mean I was naive and deserved the anger of the citizens. "I'm sorry that happened to you-"

"My mom was eaten in front of my eyes!"

"I'm sorry that happened to your mom! And I'm very sorry that you had to see it with your own eyes, but taking it out on me is not going to help you ”I pushed him back with my words, unfortunately they were not enough to stop his viper tongue.

"You can't know what it feels like to lose your mother like that" he turned his back on me, and before turning to his blond friend, he turned his head over his shoulder, looking at me again with contempt. "Go back to your village with your mommy and cries on her lap for being incapable of shit"

His comment blew me away.

He had left my mind blank and the only thing I managed to do was throw myself back, and sit down heavily on the hard wooden bench. My eyes stared into nothingness, unable to observe the multitude of eyes that settled on me with sadness, some with regret and support. Sasha sat down next to me on the left, while on the right a figure that I didn’t recognize crouched down to look me in the face. All I could make out of him, or her, were those big round blue eyes. A blue that reminded me of the rivers that flowed gracefully near my town. The same water that landed on a larger lake or river, and… perhaps, on the same sea.

"Hey, Eren-" I heard someone yell. From the tone of their voice I thought I distinguish Jean's annoyance.

I didn't have a second to reflect on what I was doing and before I could blink, a plate full of food was flying in the direction of the two boys, impacting on the wooden wall and scattering the pieces of vegetables on the floor and the people who unfortunately was close.

The two boys turned to see where the plate had come from, finding my hand half raised and smeared on the thumb of the cold soup. My body was euphoric, my breath hitched and my chest rose and fell quickly.

"You ... you don't know shit about me, or my family, or my people" I started slowly what would be the best speech I would have given in my 13 years, a speech that would bring me problems, as well as friends. “I’m so sorry about your mother, but in the same way, she was devoured by an enemy of which we still do not know exactly"

I came around the table and approached the brunette, meeting his friend halfway through. Without stopping, I hit her shoulder with mine, pushing my way over her.

"While mine was shot by the people who had to protect her" now my body was a few inches from him, taking Jean away from his side "my mother was killed for the simple fact of wanting to see the sea"

His blond friend, who hadn't been separated from him at any time, widened his eyes, even more than the person who bent down to comfort me. His eyes stared at me in amazement before turning to understanding and sadness.

"Judging by your friend's expression, he understand what I'm talking about" There was little space for me to move calmly, so I chose to get closer and closer to Eren, keeping my face a few inches from his. Even with the slight difference in height, I could manage to have an aura of warning and seriousness.

I raised my hand to his forehead slowly, preventing the girl from earlier from pouncing on me thinking I was going to hit him.

"The military police took her out of my house, placed her to the center of the village and with a pistol in the middle of her forehead" I closed my hand except for two fingers, simulating the muzzle of the rifle, and placed them in the same place as they did it with my mother "they shot her in front of her little child"

I detached my fingers from his forehead and with a "bang" I simulated the same shot that, to this day, continues to haunt me in dreams, after 6 years. My eyes observed his expression, the color had disappeared from his face, he was so pale that it seemed he was going to faint at any moment. There was no longer a trace of his anger towards me or towards the titans; An immature child had been left in front of me, from whom they had taken food for not knowing how to appreciate it.

I walked away carefully, noticing the trembling in my body, in my legs, and took small steps towards the door, leaving everyone who wanted to give me their condolences and emotional support behind.

"You are lucky that your mother was eaten by a spice stranger to her, mine didn’t have the same fate"

*** Weeks passed from that terrible night. The golden trio hadn't deigned to approach me, and for my part I longed for it to stay that way for the next three years. I didn't want people like Eren or his friends to get involved with me, I preferred the company of people like Sasha and Marco, Jean and Connie, as empty-headed as they were. I preferred to spend my free afternoons practicing archery, preventing some stupid from passing through the shooting range or next to the bullseye from getting a head shot.

"Here, I fixed your glove, now you are supposed to be able to put your thumb in without it opening" Marco had his hand extended, grabbing a leather glove, which I’d found in the storage bag of the training set.

The leaders had been very understanding when explaining the training I wanted to follow as free time. Although no faction was going to need a bow and arrow for sure, due to its inefficiency, I had given my point of view that it would end up being useful if an expedition needed more days than predicted and more food and provisions were needed, a bow was going to be of great help when hunting.

"Thanks Marco, you are an angel in this place" I proceeded to put on the worn glove and test its elasticity with the arrow and the bowstring.

"See you at night" and with that, the freckled man marked himself towards the canteen, greeting Jean in the distance who was waiting for him at the door.

The shooting area was not far from the entire training ground, close enough to observe everyone who came and went on the field, everyone who wandered without any direction or aim, and everyone who wanted to train. As well as being close enough to the training area with the movement equipment, equipment that was being used a lot recently by many colleagues in need of balance. One of them turning out to be the annoying brunette with bright green eyes, who was walking very dangerously with his friends on the target at the time I was about to release the arrow.

The small deadly weapon shot out and ended up hitting the red dot in the middle, grazing Eren's neck. He put a hand on his skin and when he saw the arrow stuck on the straw object he turned to look at me angrily.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing? That almost hit me in the neck "

"If you saw where you walking you would realize you’re in the shooting zone, if an arrow hits you it’s not my fault" I yelled at him from a distance, preparing a new arrow to launch.

When I saw him take a couple of steps towards me, I stretched the arrow back as a warning, I wasn’t going to laid on a rose’s field while he went back to being a fucking asshole. Armin, I knew his name in these weeks when listening to a conversation he’d with another person, he grabbed his arm while Mikasa put herself as a shield. They both took him away from the target and I was able to shoot the arrow without taking my eyes off them.

I followed them until they positioned themselves on one of the balancing machines, helping Eren onto the equipment. I was about to accommodate a third arrow when I heard a scream coming from his direction. My head spun at the same speed an owl would, given countless hours of practice in the woods, and I watched the last second of Eren's fall, watching in broad daylight as his head hit the stone floor. The blow could be heard from a distance, even where I was located I could hear it as if it’s next to me.

Seeing him lying swaying on the floor, half hanging from the equipment made me burst out laughing. I couldn't stop the laughter from coming out of my mouth seeing him in such bad shape. He was going to have a safe bump and maybe some neurons would end up rearranged. My laughter didn’t go unnoticed, the commander Sheith passed on his way to the shooting area and stood in front of me, looking at me with that serious, expressionless gaze.

"Cadet (Y/S)!" I settled myself as best I could, putting the bow to one side and the arrow on the back sleeve before standing firmly "help young Jaeger heal his wound"

I was puzzled and my face reflected it.

"But, sir, why me?" I begged with my words to let me go, or at least give me a couple of hours of punishment, whatever it was before starting a conversation with that selfish man, much less heal his wound.

"Are you arguing with me, cadet?"

Every movement or prayer that I could make to try to accomplish my task vanished like a leaf in the wind. I lowered my head, avoiding his frivolous gaze and waited for him to leave, snorting. I reluctantly put down the bow and arrow sleeve next to a target and headed towards the three of them, Armin and Mikasa were trying to lift Eren off the floor as they took the equipment off his hips.

"Come on, I have to heal your wound" I didn’t stop to greet them, or to explain the situation. In the same way that I approached, I went towards the canteen, without looking back.

On the short drive I overheard Armin asking about my rare kindness, to which I replied dryly that if it weren't for the commander, I'd be breaking my asshole on the floor by laughing. We walked and walked, me in front and the other two physically stable, keeping the dark-haired boy as best they could, lifting his head so that he wouldn't hit himself again. Upon reaching the canteen stairs I yelled "Sasha, I need a bucket of cold water and a washcloth!"

I opened the door for them and pointed to a table near the kitchen door so they could seat Eren. I warned them to keep his head steady, to keep him from going forward or backward, and to keep him awake at all times.

"I didn't know you knew so much about medicine" Armin pointed out when Sasha came out with the bucket of water and a cloth floating in it.

I let out a slight "hmm" before positioning myself behind Eren, squeezing the hands of the other two and allowing them to let me do my job. I ran his hair back, trying to locate the wound and notice any cuts. Finding none, I proceeded to feel the area, finding the slight bump on the upper side of the forehead. I down the cloth in the cold water, letting it soak, and placed it on his head. The water was so, so cold, it had even made me shivered, but for some reason, Eren didn't seem to be fazed at all.

I didn’t give it much importance and I passed the cloth over the bump, waiting a few seconds for it to deflate a little before going through the sides, preventing the area from becoming inflamed as well. I soaked the cloth again and laid it on the side of his forehead, indicating to Armin to press down and not move his hand while I looked for a handkerchief or some bandage to cover the blow. In the same way, I explained to Mikasa to keep watching Eren, to talk to him, even if he wasn't waiting for an answer, to keep him awake for fear of having an accident in his brain.

I found what looked like a used bandage, quite disgusting for my taste, but I wasn’t going to take much longer of my time for "patient" who didn’t deserve my treatises. I stretched the bandage as far as I could over his head, giving it two full turns before pinning it around the back of his head.

"Try to find a better bandage for the blow" I washed my hands with cold water, hoping to get rid of all the irritation the situation had caused.

"Thank you" Armin sounded really grateful, with a hint of ... sympathy perhaps? With my hands clean, I grabbed the bucket and started to put it back in the kitchen when the blonde asked me again "where did you learn all this?"

I sighed not once, but twice, the kitchen door was open and I was about to enter when I threw a look over my shoulder "everything I know, I learned from my mother's books"

And with that I closed the door behind me a second time to the golden trio.

***

Year 850, a beautiful spring night.

The night before our graduation. A hectic night. Between the well-deserved nutritious food, meat and bread that we have longed for the past three years, and the shouts of encouragement for each of us who were present that night, a great party was put together. Many people defected and others didn’t have the ability to move on. Many were frustrated when they fell short of the top ten, fearing they would be sent to the survey corps, others claimingthey had contacts in the military police and had an assured position. Others fought for their point of view before such faction; and with others I mean the same suicidal brunette. Eren, finishing 5th out of the top ten, undoubtedly deigned to throw me in my face.

"Three years and I'm still better than you, your little village tactics were useless" he smiled wickedly and his eyes showed that characteristic glow when he won a fight. Although there wasn’t a fight here, therefore, there was nothing to be gained.

"Congratulations Eren" I turned around without waiting for an answer and walked briskly towards Marco and Jean, they were both heading towards the boys cabin and I followed them to the entrance, leaving a fuzzy Eren behind.

Now, tonight, with the years of training in the past, it was time to rest, have a night of peace before the real deal began. I never thought it would arrive the next morning.

From my position, far from the main entrance to the Trost district, a thunder crashed into the ground, followed by hot smoke covering our feet. The famous colossal titan stood imposing on the side of the wall, watching my companions who were a few meters from him. From where I was standing, I could see his arm rise and run the guns and the others, burning and blinding them with its smoke.

An calvary that started very early and had no intention of ending soon. Death and dismemberment in every corner, blood flying through the air, comrades being eaten. At each step we take, each turn a building took to dodge a Titan or go after one to kill it, a comrade fell in battle; with each step I took, it was one step closer to my own death. But, call it a miracle, call it divine grace, or simple luck, I managed to reach a roof of one of the many houses destroyed by the attack. From the roof, I could see the disaster more clearly, and I could examine my own disaster with great concern.

The pants were torn in the knee area, the tips of my boots brushed my bare skin and apparently bruised from some friction. I had a blood stain in the abdomen area, apparently from a person who was eaten near me and I didn’t have the dignity to see it. I didn’t have the strength or the courage to unbutton my shirt to see the disaster that surely my body had taken in the hours we were surviving in the city. I had enough of the bruises and cuts on my hands and cheeks thanks to some small rocks flying through the air from the impacts; I didn't need to see if my ribs were in place.

In the distance, perhaps three, four houses in from where I was, were a few comrades sitting on the rooftops of another house. It seemed a few had survived and came together to rest, there weren't many titans in sight and the few there were were wandering around without looking around. Those idiots gave me the chance to jump houses, without looking down. If I looked down I would’ve see the cobblestone streets stained red, I would’ve see limbs scattered right and left. I had a goal in mind and I wasn’t going to lose focus on the death around us.

I landed on the fireplace, hitting both knees when landing, I was running out of gas and it showed. The movement wasn’t being so fluid anymore. I scrambled down the stone wall of the fireplace, landing right next to Armin. My movement gear hit his, jerking my hips and torso on impact, nearly knocking me off the roof. Armin didn't flinch, he was just looking at the tiles, but given his expression, I think he wasn't looking at anything at all. He was just preparing to stare and lose himself in the terrors of his mind.

"Armin, what happened? Ar you alright?" stupid questions. Obviously he wasn’t alright, it was reflected in his empty and dark eyes, but my mind couldn’t process correctly.

It was in automatic mode, only thinking about survival, not the correct questions for each of those who were spread out on two rooftops. Of the many who had graduated, we were reduced to two dozen, maybe a little more without counting those who were in that huge building with the gas parts. Others may have taken refuge in a house, waiting for the right moment to move and reach us. But there was little hope, even if I didn’t say it out loud, unconsciously I knew there wasn’t much to do with the people who were not among us, because after all that was exactly what was happening ... they were not with us, they weren’t in the land of the living.

How pessimistic my thinking, right? I wasn’t wrong at all.

"Armin, where is Eren?" want to know the worst?, I already knew the answer before Armin could lift his head and scream the terrible news with his lungs.

In the end, the boy who so wanted to fight the world, succumbed to the terrors of him.

But what had impacted the most was that, minutes after hearing that news, minutes after arriving at the building for gas supplements and saving the comrades who had barricaded themselves, minutes after being saved by that fighting titan, we saw the same Eren, the same brunet with bright green eyes, appear. Alive.

The surprise we all get when we see him emerge from the nape of that eccentric titan. He was fine, his skin pink and hot from the smoke of the decaying body from his titan. His titan? There was no time to understand the situation. If that, how to understand it? We saw him resurface, like a phoenix, among the ashes of a dying body, fully alive. He had all of his limbs, even the ones that had been eaten; I could see the limits of his pants and the sleeve of his shirt torn, with perfect and huge bite marks.

I stood to the side watching the scene, Armin and Mikasa crying uncontrollably when they saw his heart beat. Scientifically and medically that was impossible. Technically speaking, nothing we were witnessing was possible; And yet there was the suicidal bastard, breathing normally. His eyes closed, his lashes drooping over his lids and his hands being held by his childhood friends. Jean couldn't believe the scene before his eyes, even the other trio was hesitant to say anything, with serious faces and completely stiff eyes at Eren. Each and every one of the reactions present entered what would be a normal reaction, missing one who wanted to kill him immediately.

And I think I rushed a couple of minutes.

***

Days after the expedition to the giant tree forest.

With Annie crystallized and guarded underground, a bit of tranquility arose within the walls; a calm that only attributed to the survey corps. Citizens panicked, not understanding, not comprehending even ten percent of what the latest information was being advertised in newspapers and billboards. The general did everything possible to give us time to resupply and rest from such a hard fight. The patrol had been divided in two, and I had remained as Jean's auxiliary escort, the poor man wanted to vomit all the trip when he had to suffer the terrible order of disguising himself as Eren.

And when the time for action came, we were both prepared to assist Eren in his titan form. I wasn’t still used to seeing him at a height of more than 15 meters, but his characteristics were still there: eyes, now huge, green and shiny, as if that shine never went away, no matter how violent or dark the situation turned upside down, and his dark haired, he looked silkier and smoother in this way that the originally he modeled.

Now we where here, Armin, Mikasa, Jean and I watching him and examining his vital signs. He had fallen into a coma for the second time. I couldn't blame him, I guess controlling a titan of that caliber used up a lot of physical energy, let alone the psychological, but to be honest… mental health had already leaked out the window.Each of us were standing in a corner of the room, sometimes Armin wandered between the door and the window, sitting close to his friend on the bed when he couldn't take it anymore from the anguish. Mikasa always sat next to him, holding his hand at all times, faithfully waiting for him to open his eyes. For my part, I was watching the sun set outside the window, as the sunset gave us its warm rays and prepared us for the cold night.

Every once in a while, whenever I heard a snort or movement coming from the bed, I would turn my head and come closer to feel his breathing. He was stable, and showed no signs of any disturbance. He was completely healthy, except that he was absolutely tired. Like all of us.

There was a couple of knocks on the door, pulling all of us out of trance. Jean and Armin were being needed to give testimony in front a small assembly, before the leaders continued speaking with Commander Erwin.

Silence reigned in the room. Mikasa was still willing to maintain her position in the chair, even if the sleep weakened her with each passing minute. I could see how her eyes were closing and her head fell from fatigue, it was obvious that she needed some rest. I put my hand on her shoulder, pulling the scarf out of her hands and trying to lift her up at the same time.

"Come on, you're very tired, you must get some sleep" I led her to a sofa that was doubtfully placed on the other side of the room. Normally our rooms were only furnished with a couple of beds, a desk and a closet, ah... and a paltry window. We couldn't bother with expensive decorations or furniture like a sofa. Above all, when we didn’t receive a decent salary.

"But Eren ..." I laid her on the few cushions, not very comfortable, brown and beige, that matched the small room. When her head touched the doubtful softness of the pillows her eyes closed completely and her breathing became calm, it was a matter of seconds before she fell completely asleep.

"I'm going to take care of him, you rest" I adjusted her hair before noticing she had entered the realm of dreams. Apparently my words were enough to give her that peace of mind to go to sleep.

I knelt to remove her boots and set her feet on the lap of the sofa. Notice her legs stained with dirt, I'd bet she'd have a couple of bruises around her knees and ankles, maybe even her feet. My body was moving heavily as I searched for a blanket among the few scraps of cloth lying in the closet. In the end, I ended up finding one a bit small for her body, but it perfectly covered her torso and stomach, that way she wouldn't take cold while she was in her defenseless state.

I wanted to look out the window again, but there was nothing to observe that I hadn’t seen before, a sad and dull orange sky. I settled into the chair, feeling that I was usurping Mikasa's place for some strange reason, and I kept analyzing the young man lying on the bed. His hair was matted and a bit dirty, a shower every now and then wouldn't hurt, although he smelled conveniently well, like freshly cut wood or dry grass. A scent that, while I was destined to smell more than necessary thanks to the expeditions, I felt no discomfort smelling it on Eren. It fit him very well indeed. I might even get used to being around him if it meant smelling such a sweet scent.

Seconds that seemed like minutes, and minutes that seemed like hours. Time seemed to play against me and I felt like my body began to weigh me more and more, and more, until I fell forward and lay my face on the hard mattress and the soft fabric of the sheet. Second-rate cotton, if you would let me say so, but it did the job. It was comfortable, too comfortable, enough to let me rest for a moment and close my eyes, making time flow more quickly.

I felt a hand gently rest on my head, moving and caressing me with a tenderness I hadn't felt in years. I opened my eyes immediately expecting to find my father in front of my eyes, but instead, I spotted a still asleep Eren, scratching himself and trying to wipe the sleep out of his eyes.

I pulled his hand out of my head quickly, but without being rude, and laid them on the bed. I rubbed my eyes and gave him a half smile "Good morning sleeping beauty"

It took a few seconds for his eyes to get used to the little light that filtered through the window and when they opened they surveyed the entire room, still drowsy.

"Where is Mikasa? Armin? " he coughed after feeling a little hawking in his throat.

I stretched out on the chair, accommodating the bones of my back and immediately moved to the side, letting him see a sleeping Mikasa, comfortable and warm under a blanket. Eren inspected her, perhaps trying to find any signs of injury or complaints, but finding none he turned his gaze from her to me.

"Mikasa is asleep" I settled back on the chair, this time stretching forward a bit and resting my elbows on the bed, holding my head on my hands "Armin and Jean had to go to give their testimony for the paperwork"

Ere didn't say anything, he just nodded and gave me a brief "hmm" before looking out the window. "How do you feel?" was the last thing I said before the room fell silent again and neither he nor I deigned to say anything else.

Years of hating each other weren't going to go away, just like that. It was going to be a long road now that we were in a much worse mess than when we were 13 years old. But at least, we could talk to each other without the need to jump on each other's jugular, that's progress, right?

***

Why couldn't this bastard have a little sense of preserving of his life? Why wasn't he a little more careful, and since we are, a little more common sense? Why couldn't he stay calm for a few seconds, analyze the situation and act according to his surroundings?

Now we had to do a search party to find the damned "last hope of mankind". Galloping as fast as the horses would allow us, avoiding on all sides dozens of titans, even when one fell, five more came out. It was an order that had become more and more dangerous. And to make matters worse, having to be behind two of the most dangerous titans we could have encountered was a suicide mission and most of us knew it. We were giving it our all for an idiot, who I don't think he knew the value of the lives that were being lost in battle.

Sighted in the distance, ranks breaking and each one trying to survive while we tried to have enough time to rescue him from the armored titan, large numbers of soldiers were being eaten or crushed. You know the terror I had in my eyes to see Captain Erwin being bitten on the arm and dragged towards God knows where? If a great man like him could be defeated so easily in the blink of an eye, what was in store for us? What was in store for me?

I kept galloping, begging Phillip to keep going as fast as he could, that he never stop and be careful of everything in his path. I was so scared that I didn't know exactly to who I was saying it, the horse or myself. For sure, I knew the horse wouldn’t understand me perfectly, but he was the only thing that I could grab to at that moment, the only one that could save me.

Both left and right, titans ran everywhere, the boys had managed to reach the battleship while the others did what they could to give them time, seeing Ymir was also a sight worthy of admiration if it wasn’t because I was givind my life at this moment. And surely she was helping the blonde of "girlfriend" instead of us.

In that sway between giant bodies and tiny soldiers, the ground rumbled, the earth fell away, even trees fell at our feet. When trying to reach Mikasa before she fell, a titan came out of nowhere in front of me, trying to dodge it would be a feat, especially when he had his immense mouth pointing almost completely in my direction. I will never be able to thank the soldier who cut his neck, for seconds later to be grabbed by another titan and break his spine in such a grip. With the body decomposing and the other titan out of focus, I was able to move on, circling the smoking mass, ready to support Mikasa when another mass fell very close to me, causing the horse to jump from the force of the impact. In that second of distraction I turned my head to look at what had fallen, the ground began to crack under Phillip's legs and it only took a footfall from the armor titan to completely break apart and pieces of earth and stone came out, shotting everywhere.

As I turned my head back forward, I saw clearly how a stone flew directly towards my head. Call it reflections, call it having a guardian angel on my shoulders, but I was able to move my head in time, causing the stone to impact the gap between my shoulder and neck. I shot backward, hitting my head against the hard ground. I felt my shoulder dislocate and I noticed how by leaps and bounds the shirt, previously white, was staining with blood, as well as the jacket and the floor. My head was probably bleeding from the back as well, but the pain in my shoulder kept me from focusing on anything else. It was impossible to move it, I tried to scream for help, but my words stuck in my throat, and even if I had been able to scream, it would have been overshadowed by the hundreds more screams that were begging for help. The grass around me felt a bit comforting, like a cold hug in the last minutes of life. Body pain prevented me from reacting to the sight of a five-meter titan approaching where I was lying. Tears began to flow, falling down my cheeks; I wanted to scream, say my last goodbye, but I was so petrified that I just closed my eyes.

If I was going to die, I would rather die without seeing the horrible face of that damned titan. I preferred to have the image of my family in mind one last time. The ground began to rumble, I thought more titans were going to come for me, that I was going to be smashed into pieces, but the longer it took to feel the huge hand or a pair of teeth, I opened my eyes, finding myself, not a pack of hungry titans, but with the clear evening sky.

I raised my head and to my surprise, a bizarre surprise, all the titans that were chasing us at the time, were now going towards one of the highest. I couldn't understand what was happening, I looked around trying to find someone, to see if someone else was seeing the same thing as me. In the distance I found Armin holding a figure, I couldn't quite see who, trying to breathe normally and stand up. I tried calling out to him, but my vision started to blur and it made me dizzy from trying to lift my head even higher. I brought my hand to my head and confirmed the blood that flowed behind it, I was completely soaked in my own blood and at any moment I would end up fainting if I didn't treat my wounds.

The grinding of a horse brought me back to a state of consciousness, Phillip was back next to me and he lowered his head towards my good shoulder, pushing it up and lifting me little by little. Standing back on both feet, I leaned on his stomach and in an attempt to walk towards Armin I heard Eren's terrified scream in the distance.

Both he and Mikasa were looking at the scene without understanding anything at all, and what bothered me the most was that those stupid were still sitting on the ground, without any intention of moving. As I could, I got on the horse's lap, lying on my stomach, both arms hanging at the side, and I told him to run as fast as possible towards the two figures in the most dangerous area that could be at that moment.

"Stop looking and start moving!" I yelled at them a few feet away. They both turned their heads in my direction, wanting to say something, but only managed to gasp a few times before I arrived.

I grabbed the collar of Eren's shirt and with what little strength I had left, I lifted him off the ground "NO TIME TO TALK, LET'S GO"

Seeing Mikasa being picked up by Eren and placed on his back, I indicated to Phillip to leave the area, to try to get to safety, along with the other soldiers. At our side ran the couple of stupid who almost devoured, wondering what had happened. Their words sounded more and more distant and the ride put me in a calm trance until I was unconscious.

***

Year 851, a beautiful summer day to go horseback riding without the hassle of a titan in the area. At the same time, a beautiful day to visit the forgotten and destroyed towns.

We took our time, observing the landscape. Trees that had fallen and left their tracks on the ground and on the trunk were beginning to show traces of vegetation in their wood. The grass crushed by large feet was beginning to heal and new shoots were coming to the surface, some flower buds could also be seen. The few stone paths were smashed, small cobblestones were smashed, and there was no possibility of repair unless they were remade. Today was the day; the day it was my village's turn to be toured. We leave early to the northwest, guiding us along the river, me in the lead. The night before I hadn’t been able to sleep, to close an eye, I was nervous, very nervous, I couldn’t even eat anything for breakfast. After four years, I returned to my home, or what was left of it.

Endless nights I dreamed of returning to my small village, touring the oldest houses and greeting its inhabitants, seeing the children run, now older, and helping them take an apple from the market. I dreamed of reassembling one of our horses, of stroking and caressing them, earning me one, perhaps two licks to the face. But what I most dreamed of was to see my father's face again, to see his eyes full of dark circles and sadness at having lost his wife, the woman he loved the most in the whole world; I wanted to hold hid hands again, see them splintered after carving a piece of wood and turning it into a beautiful work of art. I wanted to lie down by the communal fire, hear stories from the elderly, shameful stories, and love stories. I wanted to be able to repeat my childhood years, to see my mother one last time, to be able to say goodbye properly.

I wished my village had been intact, but at the entrance my heart shattered. There were no standing houses in sight, all had sagging roofs, broken windows, and dried blood marks from years painting the walls.

I got off the horse looking at the damage and I was leading him forward by the mooring. Slowly, being careful not to trip over any stone, I entered the town more and more, seeing the withered flowers and their dried petals lying on the floor. Children's cloth toys, a odd wooden horse broken in half. Some walls were burned, others full of holes, the clothes hanging outside the houses torn into pieces, the stable reduced to nothing. The center, where the market normally took place, full of rubble and garbage, on the left a path of dried blood, on the right as well. I approached a stall that had not been completed, a fruit and vegetable stall, now reduced to nothingness itself. I picked up the chunk of splintered wood and found underneath what scared me the most. An arm.

I didn't know who it was exactly, the clothes were almost the same for everyone, but I assumed it was a man's; It was in the process of decomposition, pieces of meat were half detached. Beside him, a porcelain doll broken on its head, its brown curls discarded, and only dirt and fiber remained. I picked it up with both hands and kept walking in the direction… in which direction? I couldn’t tell. Only my body was on autopilot looking around me for a sign, the slightest hope that someone had survived. But one look at the stables from the beginning was the only thing that put my hopes in the trash: there were pieces of horses lying all over the ground. Not even our pride had survived. My feet stopped walking, dragging on the ground, and stopped in front of the house that saddened me the most. Mine.

Of all, this was the one in the best condition, part of the roof had fallen to the side, not on the house, and a hole led directly to the living room. The walls were completely burned, not from the destruction of a horde of titans, no. Those burns were from years before, produced by the military police. Seeing that wreck brought me the vile memory of the day of her execution. The people were scared, they implored not to kill her, but those brutes turned a deaf ear and executed her without mercy. My mother was a very dear woman to everyone and no one denied her dreams of leaving the walls, my father loved her more than anyone ... but that love of his was not enough to save her.

"(Y / N)?" I heard Eren's voice behind me.

His voice echoed in my ears, but I couldn't fully register it, I was just looking straight ahead, towards the hole in my house, looking from the outside for fear of entering. "These were the borders of my life"

I took a step forward, then another, and then another, until I collided with the first stones of the house. From that place I could see how the fire from a small oil lamp had fallen on the floor and burned part of my father's favorite armchair. I took another step, fully entering what was left of my old home. I ran my hand over the dry, scratchy fabric, dust had collected over the weeks, maybe years. Given how advanced the bloodstains were, I couldn't exactly calculate the time that had elapsed. In front of the chair was still a small desk full of sheets, most of them ruined by rubble, but some survived. Some of these had broken tips, other were left with black spots, and others were flawless, as if they had been made yesterday. Beautiful drawings of people, others of nature, others of birds or city buildings.

I kept looking for more sheets, running those that were hopelessly damaged, and under my foot I came across a paper somewhat harder and thicker than the others, even framed. The glass was broken but it revealed perfectly a small family, a man, his wife and their child. "In this dusty and destroy little house, where an artist love his wife"

I took the drawing with me, holding it tight with both hands, until I reached the only standing door in the house. The door leading to the master bedroom. I stood there for a couple of seconds, wondering if it was right for my sanity, if it was right for my conscience to open it up and find whatever was on the other side. I inhaled and exhaled a couple of times before sliding the door open. Next to the bed, on the side where my mother used to sleep, was my father's top. I wasn't brave enough to turn around and see his face. I closed my eyes when I saw the scene and left what was left of the facade with my head lowered. "The house of my childhood is gone"

***

A couple of days after hitting the ocean.

We had settled next to the shore. Jean, Sasha and Connie were playing with the small waves that were breaking in the sand, Armin was inspecting small seashells and Mikasa was dedicated to dipping her feet in the cold water. We had made a small fire to cover ourselves from the cold of the coming night. Eren and I were in front of that same fire. He watched as the small sparks flew over the small sea of flames until they exploded and died in the blink of an eye. Some fell into the sand before exploding, others continued to rise until they rose higher and became part of the beginning of the starry sky.

My feet were barefoot in the sand, letting the little grains get between my toes and tickle every time I twisted them. I dropped my head on Eren's shoulder, giving me the chance to close my eyes and reopen them after a few seconds, admiring the sea towards the horizon.

After so many calamities, after so many deaths and losses, a moment of quiet was more than necessary. Maybe being this close to the bright green-eyed brunette wasn't so bad after all.

I could get used to this.

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Tag List: @aestosia @amberciel @sof-yeager @iwony @curseofymir @etherealkatrina @mariaerdgzn @paypay0315 @despst @kisekinokishi @crazymar15 @gis21345 @urinejaeger @zhilon @dianacavendishh @lucielbinon-binary @cryingforwill @ryan249057 @stardustmonkey @asahinsunakinnie @obeymekookie @iwishyoucouldbekissed @wonkyunsstuff @jeanbabygirl @fairlynies @witchymermaid12 @aniah2 @thestrugglesofateenagedirtbag @skysdonut @crazymar15 @healpeony @odelia @shamelesschristian @haqita-erlina

#snk #aot #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #snk x reader #aot x reader #shingeki no kyojin x reader #attack on titan x reader #eren jaeger #eren jaeger x reader #eren yeager #eren yeager x reader #eren x reader #when the world falls apart updates #when the world falls apart #when the world falls apart update #eren smut #eren angst

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plaidbooks · 3 years ago

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Cabin Life - The Beginning

A/N: You all need to blame both @storiesofsvu and @berniesilvas for this! I want woodsman!Sonny to be real so fucking bad, so that he can sweep me off my feet. Anyways, this covers the Cabin in the Woods square in @storiesofsvu fall bingo!

I don’t mention it in the story, but in my mind, this takes place before he’s in SVU, even before Homicide. I have him mid-late 20s.

Tags: none, just fluff

Words: 1330

Taglist: @witches-unruly-heart @beccabarba @thatesqcrush @itsjustmyfantasyroom @permanentlydizzy @ben-c-group-therapy @infiniteoddball @glowingmess @whimsicallymad @lv7867 @storiesofsvu @cycat4077 @alwaysachorusgirl @glimmerglittergirl @joanofarkansass @caracalwithchips @berniesilvas @reading--mermaid @averyhotchner @mrsrafaelbarba @detective-giggles @crowleysqueenofhell @dreamlover31

(gif by @dailypeterscanavino)

When Sonny was a kid, his parents would take him and his sisters to their vacation home; a homey cabin nestled in the New Hampshire woods. There were multiple cabins there, spread out over the land, close enough to be considered neighbors, but far enough for privacy. They had basic appliances—a fridge/freezer, a stove/oven, a sink, a bathtub, a shower, a toilet—but everything else was wooden. Dom Sr. eventually put a tv there, just in the master bedroom, so he could keep up with news and sports while they vacationed.

Sonny always loved the little community up there. Everyone was always so nice to him and his family. Which is why, after dealing with atrocities while on the force, he decided to retreat from city life. He hated being surrounded by monsters every day; sure not everyone in New York City was a creep or predator or murderer, but after seeing so much of the city’s underbelly, he was fed up.

He asked his parents if he could move to the New Hampshire house permanently. They would still be able to vacation there, of course—it was a massive, four-bedroom cabin—but he just needed to get away. He agreed to pay for everything, and he still had his cell phone so they could contact him if needed. It didn’t take much convincing for his parents to agree.

It was definitely an adjustment going from the heart of NYC to becoming a woodsman. Sonny grew his hair and beard out and bought plaid jackets—the things he saw woodsman do on tv when he was younger. The cabin needed work, especially clearing up the outside foliage, giving him some sense of purpose. And if he needed food, there were the local markets close by and a grocery store about an hour away.

The locals all remembered the scrawny little boy who spent his summers running around the woods with his sisters, and they all gladly took him under their wings. After Sonny hacked back the overgrowth, Mr. Piper taught him how to do controlled burn piles. Mr. and Mrs. Willis came over soon after, helping him measure out, then build an elevated garden. Mrs. Willis taught him how to make nutrient soil, while Mr. Willis gave him seeds, and taught him how to care for each and every vegetable.

When Sonny got the cabin, he inherited the small apple orchard, too. His pa taught him how to care for the trees while his ma taught him recipes for apple pie, cider, tarts, jams. He noticed how much he relied on bees to pollinate, and Ms. Walters, the local honey provider, taught him which wildflowers were 1) regional to them and 2) attracted bees. Sonny built another elevated garden, this time on his own, and filled it with wildflower seeds Ms. Walters gifted him with.

There was a creek nearby, and one day, Sonny found Mr. Adams fishing in it. Sonny proposed a deal; Mr. Adams gives Sonny an old rod that he wouldn’t miss, and Sonny would teach Mr. Adams the best way to clean and cook the fish. Mr. Adams agreed and gave him a sturdy rod. As Sonny went about cleaning and deboning the fish they had caught, he complimented Mr. Adams on his herb garden.

“Herb gardens aren’t the hardest thing to manage,” he said with a smile, and gifted Sonny with starters for every herb he could think of— “as payment for this phenomenal fish recipe!”

Third elevated garden up and running, Sonny fell into woodsman life easily. His muscles grew, though he was still thin; he was lean, though, not lanky anymore. Any questions he had, the locals had answers for. He grew his own food, fished his own fish, and bought (or traded) meat from the local hunters. Soon enough, the locals were calling him, asking for help with something or other. And Sonny loved all of it.

*********************

During the weekly Autumn Farmer’s Market, Sonny rented a little booth. He had brought multiple apple pies, tarts, bottles of cider, apple chips, packages of herbs, tomatoes, cucumbers, squash, lettuce, and everything else he had in abundance…that would also fit on only two tables. When he first started harvesting, he would give most away, or trade for other goods, but he also needed to make money some way. So, the extras ended up here.

He was in the middle of chatting with Mr. and Mrs. Willis about how his gardens were coming along when he saw you. He froze halfway through a sentence, his jaw hanging open, prompting the Willis’s to turn. Mrs. Willis looked back at Sonny, a knowing smile on her face.

“She just moved back in with her parents; she had been living in New York City for a little bit, trying to make a life there, but, well, as she said herself, she’s not a city girl,” Mrs. Willis explained.

Before Sonny could respond—or tear his eyes from you—you glanced over at him. You smiled warmly, and his heart beat faster. When you started coming towards his little booth, he scrambled to clean himself up, brushing his hair back off his face, smoothing down his shirt, trying to wipe some dirt off the front. Mrs. Willis gave him a smile before looping her arm with her husband and pulling him away.

“Hello! I’m new here, but I must say, your booth is probably my favorite,” you said, still smiling at him.

It took him a moment for his brain to process your words. “O-oh yeah? Why’s that?”

“All of your food looks delicious. I mean, look at this squash! It’s bigger than my head!” you announced, giggling.

He had never heard anything more magical in his life. “Do you like pie? I can give you a slice,” he replied nervously.

“How much?” you asked. You loved both apples and pie, and his looked amazing.

He gave you a soft smile. “It’s on the house; a sweet treat for a pretty woman.”

You felt your face heat and you smiled shyly as he unwrapped a pie and cut into it. He cut off a generous piece, and you opened your mouth to complain about taking it for free, but he brushed you off, placing the piece on a plate and handing it to you. You took a bite, and you swear your taste buds were dancing; it was the most delicious thing you ever tasted before, the sweetness and the tartness balanced perfectly.

You chewed thoughtfully before swallowing it. “That is the best damn pie I’ve ever had. Ever. But please, share with me, Mr.…?”

“Call me Sonny, please. Sonny Carisi,” he replied, a goofy smile pulling across his lips.

You gave him your name, then offered him a bite. You both stood and chatted while exchanging bites of apple pie. He told you about his decision to leave the city and live a simpler life, surrounded by good people. And you told him about how you had always heard of the big city and decided to live there. But after a few months, you missed the woods too much, and you came back home.

“I feel a little silly living back at home in my adult life. I’m hoping to get my own cabin one day…maybe build it from the ground up,” you finished.

Sonny nodded in understanding. “Well, if you ever need anything, anything at all, you can always ask me. I’m not the most knowledgeable about cabin life quite yet, but I have the knowledge of who to call for advice.”

“Well, thank you, Sonny. Maybe I’ll take you up on that,” you replied, and he smiled. Then you leaned over the table of his goods and kissed his scruffy cheek before winking and walking back to your parent’s booth, giving him a little wave. The smile and look of absolute adoration in his eyes would be a fixed image in your mind for a while.

#sonny carisi x reader #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfic #fanfic #my writing #storiesofsvufallbingo

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achubbydumpling · 3 years ago

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Good Boy Bucky (Part 1)

Rating: Mature Words: 1528 Relationship: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers Additional Tags: Dom/sub, Belly kink, Gainer!Dom Steve

(this is an older wip so it doesn't fit the specifications of the challenge that well, but I needed a break today, but I still wanted to upload something)

Bucky was kneeling next to the entry door of the lake house. Steve had been invited to a fundraiser banquet and they had decided it would be a good idea to have America see their Captain again, after spending almost a year in Wakanda during Bucky’s recovery.

His hands were clasped together on his thighs. Steve probably wouldn't be home for another half hour, but Bucky had been feeling cooped up in his own head the entire day. This was far from the first time Bucky had spent a day alone but being cooped up at the isolated lake house had his thoughts spiralling.

Bucky shifted his weight. Stood up, checked the lock, whether the stove was off and then went into the living room. He was contemplating whether to sit down on the couch or just give up and go to bed when Steve's key clicked into the lock. He sank down to his knees without thinking about it.

Read on AO3

Steve called out for him, but all his words had dried up in Bucky's throat. His chest tightened. Bucky could hear Steve taking his shoes off and then padding into the kitchen. The pot lid clinked when Steve lifted it. He called out for Bucky again.

He bit his bottom lip when he heard Steve's steps coming closer. His breath ragged, but posture perfectly aligned. When Steve appeared in the doorway, the tension in his gut drained completely out of him. They'd talked about this, and Bucky felt positive that today was the right day to indulge in this.

"Oh." Steve said, barely any inflection. He stepped into the middle of the room and stood in front of Bucky for a moment. Bucky balked at his own forwardness. Maybe Steve didn't want to do this right now. It was late and he'd just spent an entire evening entertaining rich and interesting people. Bucky ducked his head down, trying to hide his face.

"What a wonderful way to welcome me back." He reached his hand out towards Bucky's face, but didn't quite touch him yet. Bucky leant his head back to look Steve in the eyes. He was smiling tiredly. Bucky blinked and tried to bite down on the smile that spread on his lips.

"I saw that you cooked me dinner. Did you enjoy doing that for me?" Bucky nodded. "You make my life so much easier. You're so good to me."

Bucky keened at the praise. Almost dizzy with it. He felt the overwhelming urge to lean into Steve's hand, but holding himself back made him shiver all over. He didn't have to wait for long. Steve's hand finally cupped his jaw and caressed it like he were petting a cat. Slow and gently in the direction of the fur.

"Can you tell me what you are?" That request made Bucky want to hide his face, but Steve's hand on his chin kept him steadily looking up.

They'd talked about this. Safe words and setting boundaries. If he didn't say anything Steve would leave him be. Come back into himself. No questions asked. But Bucky wanted this. Sometimes it was difficult to speak when he was in this headspace. His throat worked around the words.

"I-" A false start. "I'm a good boy." His voice impossibly quiet at the end.

"You're such a good boy." Steve repeated much louder, and he didn't stumble on the words. Said them with so much conviction, Bucky zoned out for a second almost euphoric.

"You need me to tell you what to do?" Bucky snapped back to himself. Steve's expression was open, blue eyes visible even in the dim evening light. Bucky didn't answer, but he sat up on his heels and grabbed Steve's ankle with his right hand. Steve's eyebrows twitched down when he stayed still, but then he seemed to understand.

"Go on." Steve stepped forward when Bucky gently pulled at his leg. Steve's hand moved up and settled in his hair, gently rubbing over his scalp.

Bucky moved himself further between Steve's legs. Eyes on his own hands snaking their way up Steve's legs. He could feel every muscle though the fabric of his trousers and the thin layer of softness that had settled on top. His gaze followed his hands up and up. His hands settled on Steve's thighs. Bucky could see Steve chubbing up. Framed between his mismatched hands.

He moved further up, settling on his belt for a moment. Steve's caress on his scalp constant and unfaltering. Bucky popped its short tail from the belt loop. When Steve had left the house, he'd still had an empty hole left in his belt, but now it was let out to the last notch. The material was dented around the second-to-last hole by the pressure Steve's overstuffed belly must've put on it until he could surreptitiously loosen his belt. Bucky didn't move his eyes further up yet. Instead, he ran his thumb over the ridge in the belt.

"You did that. Now everyone can see."

Bucky undid the belt and pulled it from the belt loops. When it caught Steve tried to suck his belly in, but Bucky had to fiddle it out of the belt loop with his fingers. Steve took the belt from him, he ran it between his fingers and hummed thoughtfully.

“You’re a good boy today, Buck, aren’t you?” He put the belt down on the couch and Bucky finally let himself look at Steve's middle.

His belly was pressed tightly against his shirt's buttons, straining them all the way up to his chest. At the widest part of it, his undershirt showed through the gaps where the shirts sides gaped apart. From this angle his belly was starting to obscure the lower part of Steve's face. Bucky wanted to do more than just stare. He moved his hands up from where they were still hooked in Steve's belt loops to grab at his belly. Feeling the barely there hang of it over the waistband.

Bucky started unbuttoning his shirt when Steve's hands came down over his effectively trapping them against his body.

"Today's the last day I'm wearing this shirt." Steve gently tipped Bucky's head back again. "Do you understand?" Bucky went to shake his head, then he froze, his eyes flicked down to Steve's belly, then up again.

"That's right. You're gonna help me. Let's see how many buttons we pop off this thing."

Bucky pushed himself up to his knees. He nuzzled his face against Steve's belly. Couldn’t help himself or the sound that escapes his throat.

"Go get me something to eat then." Bucky was up and on his way to the kitchen before his brain had even caught up with what he's doing. When he gets back to the living room with just the pot of food and a spoon Steve is already on the couch and fiddling with the remote. He puts on some movie very quietly.

"Give it to me and then come sit down here." Steve motions to the spot next to him. Bucky moves quickly and quietly, then let's himself sink against Steve's side.

"Good boy." His hand back in Bucky's hair. "Tell me what you made for me." Bucky clears his throat, voice rough with disuse.

"It's curry. Red lentils, vegetables and coconut milk. Real simple."

"Thank you." Steve smiled, nonetheless. Hoisting the pot up onto his belly and digging his spoon straight in.

"It's a pound of lentils and about half that coconut milk." Bucky added shrinking against Steve's side at the end.

" You've really thought about this. Not that simple then."

"Simple texture, simple taste and not too much fat or spices. I thought at the banquet they'd serve you so many different things you'd prefer something simpler afterwards." Steve leaned into him, pulling him into a side hug and burying his nose in Bucky's hair.

"I do. You're such a good boy to think of all of that." Bucky felt that twitchy feeling in his chest again. Like a flock of birds were trying to work their way out of his lungs. Steve dug in then, while Bucky tried and failed to concentrate on the movie.

They'd tried that feeding thing Steve had seen on the internet, but it had just made them both laugh, and it was too slow for Steve’s appetite anyway. He was wolfing down the food like he hadn't just absolutely stuffed himself with everything that was on offer at a fancy banquet. For now, Bucky tried to enjoy his space at Steve's side. Once he'd had his fill, he would tell Bucky to rub his belly and maybe tell him to help him eat some more.

He tried to focus on the movie, but his thoughts started spiralling into his memories again. Bucky's legs felt weak even though he was sitting on the couch. He felt out in the open, no longer basking in the glow of Steve's gaze. Carefully he slinked down to the floor. On his knees again, seeking shelter between Steve's legs. Steve hummed approvingly and didn't question Bucky moving elsewhere than he had been put. This wasn't about that right now.

#stucky #get beached #belly kink #dom/sub #gainer!steve #dom!steve #sub!bucky

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herstarburststories · 4 years ago

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Merry... Birthday?

Pairing: Dean Winchester x reader

Summary: You love christmas, but Dean doesn’t. Yet, he might make an exception for your birthday this year.

A/N: This one goes for @negans-lucille-tblr ‘s secret fic exchange. My secret Santa was @katymacsupernatural. Hey, honey! I hope you enjoy this and happy birthday! You deserve double presents, so here’s mine. All mistakes are mine!

Divider by @talesmaniac89 !

You loved Christmas.

It was probably a nostalgic longing for your long gone urban life. Just in the same way you’d still catch yourself looking through the news for election results or feel your stomach twist if you didn’t eat homemade food at least twice a week. You were dead to the government and certainly spent more on the road than in a home. Besides, you had met up with God enough times to know him. All the encounters and screaming and unapologetic abandonment should make you want to throw any baby Jesus against a wall or even climb on a Christmas tree just to shout about all the hoaxes so perfectly molded in patterns through our brains like braids.

Yet, something about you loved christmas.

The pretty lights always shining, it didn’t matter where you go. For once, all the city-- everything would be entirely made of light. Their incandescent glow always companishing each person, either it was in an once treacherous alley or only to make the kids' grin bigger as they watched them among the busy streets with wide eyed gazes. The confusion in the kitchen that often ended up with huffs bursting into chuckles between the smell of meals that were too much and would make a room for leftovers for the rest of the week. How everything seemed to be made only of happiness, and nothing could ever cut through those water; all the knives were suddenly swords for kids to play and no white gun. In Christmas, a house became a kingdom for every heart. Everything was good and felt through the skin to the bone, like a single glimpse, a hidden day of what would be paradise.

That was how you were raised, at least. The Winchesters didn’t share the same mindset, no. While you grew up with decorating the tree, they were hiding bodies in the dim light. Leftovers were all through their whole year, and Christmas was described as good or not with one single criteria: snow streets. They had to take one? Annoying date. They didn’t and there was eggnog? Bearable Jesus’s birthday.

Yet, you attempted to make the bunker the more festive possible: buying a bunch of christmas lights, cookies’ ingredients and even a small nativity scene. Your attempts to enjoy the date’s niciities ended up with Sam breaking his arm after crashing on the ground because you insisted on him putting the lights in a place higher than his age, not to mention the burned cookies that looked more like tiny monsters than gingerbread men.

Your parents used to make this look so much easier.

Although the youngest Winchester understood a little more about the concept of holidays, a believer in the good until the very end, his brother didn’t share the idea. You couldn’t say you were surprised. Dean just had two barely normal christmas in his life: one when he was dying and one with Lisa and Ben. Both situations made it to his heart only to shatter from the inside.

‘’Baby Jesus?’’ Dean snorted, shaking his head at the sight of you adjusting the weird little dolls in the nativity. He placed another ruined cook in his mouth, speaking with his mouth full next: ‘’We have the son of Lucifer, guess that counts.’’

‘’Don’t say that once Jack gets home.’’ You rolled your eyes, turning to face the oldest Winchester with your hands on your hips. How could he eat that? You couldn’t even make it a bite and Sam only had half of those. ‘’And stop eating those. They are burned.’’

‘’I’ve had worse.’’ He remarked, adding another cookie to his mouth. You grimaced, wondering for a brief moment how your boyfriend could be simultaneously the guy who saved the world and a man with the taste of a five years old.

‘’Yeah. But I’m the one who has to hear you whining about your bellyache later.’’

‘’I don’t whine--’’ You arched your eyebrows at his statement, making Dean huff in agreement. ‘’That was once and because of Sam’s weird ass vegan bacon.’’

‘’You acted like you were dying.’’

‘’My tongue was!’’

‘’So get this.’’ Sam’s voice interrupted your childish argument, catching the attention of both hunters like a shiny object did to a cat. ‘’Apparently we got an earlier christmas gift.’’

‘’What is it?’’ You asked, approaching the table.

‘’Three teenagers disappeared in the forest, all personal objects left behind.’’ Sam explained as Dean scratched out his neck to glance at his brother’s computer screen. Nothing like a case in Colorado. ‘’The authorities think it’s a serial killer. But one of the girls, Kayla Wodson, said she saw a weird, skinny giant take her friends.’’

‘’Ho ho ho and three bodies.’’ Dean clapped his hands together with a wry curve of lips. ‘’Alright. Let’s hit the road-- Wait, wait, wait. Where do you think you are going?’’

You were standing beside Dean while Sam raised to his feet, ready to pack his bags. Dean, nonetheless, was quicker than his brother, soon putting himself in front of Sammy; hands protectively standing in front of the youngest’s chest to keep him from moving any further.

He shook his head with a scoff. ‘’Dude, come on.’’

‘’Not happening, Sammy. You got a broken arm.’’ You mumbled a sorry along Dean’s big brother speech, to which Sam replied with a comprehensive smile. ‘’Y/N and I take care of it.’’

‘’He’s right. Must be the first time in his life, but he is.’’ Dean turned his head, furrowing his eyebrows at you ‘’Don’t worry. It’s just a wendigo anyway. ‘’

‘’Okay. Just…’’

‘’Don’t forget the fireblazer. As if your brother would miss an opportunity to use it.’’ You scrunched up your noise, causing a chortle out of Sam while Dean commented something about grabbing the specific instrument and walked away. ‘’Maybe you could call Eileen. Ask her to help you to back some christmas cookies.’’

Sammy shook his head at your wiggling brows. ‘’That doesn’t sound as sexy for me as it does for you.’’

Dean Winchester was good with numbers.

Not the urban numerical sense of the deal, of course. He almost didn’t make it in sixth grade with useless geometry and all that, and he still used his fingers to count when he had to deal with an equation. No, his good and quick way with numbers was easier, intrinsic to his head.

How many years since mom died? Seventeen. How many people did he have to save? All of them. How many years had he left? Less than he once owned.

Hunter math was simpler, and was all he really needed since he was four years old, running from the fire with his baby brother in his arms-- which brought him to the second section of his particular geometry: birthdays and death anniversaries. Dean never, ever forgot any special date. Those were his own holidays, the only worth celebrating and remembering. His wishes, grief, and cherishment were reserved for the people he loved, not some celestial assholes who saw his life like a book.

Therefore, his mind went on a golden rush for your day as soon as the Wendigo hunt took more than you both expected. You wouldn't be able to make it home before your birthday, which would be ending shortly, a matter of two or three hours. His inner engineers were useful tonight, in his vision, useful enough to make those sappy movies jealous. While you were washing some guts and leaves away, Dean went to the nearest convenience store. His long arms nesting a bunch of stuff he never dared to touch in years. The cashier with drowsy eyes and escarlet Santa hat seemed bored with his shopping, probably because she saw an uncountable amount of people buying the same things over and over. He couldn’t blame her for the suburban exhaustion. If anything, it was a small comfort for his war orbs to see and be a part of a scene so mundane.

He hustled back to the dive motel room, singing in relief to himself once he stepped in and heard you singing Christmas Tree Farm while the water rushed in. He grimaced at himself for recognizing that Taylor Swift song. How couldn’t he? That woman was 80% of all you heard everyday. Man, he was whipped.

Tilting his head back in reality, he started organizing in clumsy manners of putting everything in place for you. His bruised hands touching so carefully the fragile ornaments to make the motel room with grubby walls and weird black stan on the floor that only seemed to grow a little more like you.

You, the woman who put up with him, who laughed at his stupid jokes, and who watched Scooby Doo, all snuggled up to him every friday. You, the woman who switched from AC/DC to Taylor Swift and then Eric Clapton. You, the one who understood his job and helped him to wash off some of the blood on his hand and never got scared of how red the water could get. You, the girl who rolled her eyes at his first attempt of flirting and now stole his french fries and kissed his lips as if he was worth being delicate with. You, his breathing, his true holiday, his only act of faith besides Sammy.

Dean pressed his teeth against his bottom lip, looking up and down his little manual work. Part of him said it was ridiculous, he surely would make a lot of fun of Sam if he did that to a chick. Yet, mostly he was proud. He wanted you to like it. It wasn’t even near to what you deserved, but it was a piece of it. It was what the Winchester could give you, and that would be hopefully, enough.

While Dean was caught in the crossroad of judging and admiring his surprise, you left the shower with a towel wrapped around your head and lips mumbling Cocaine. Your feet glued to the ground once you witnessed what was in front of you: the room was decorated with christmas lights, a tiny plastic tree on the table, right beside a pie with candle on the top and two cup of what smelled like hot cocoa.

‘’Dean…’’ Your tender tone brought him back from his traineck thoughts as he turned around to glance at you. You chortled in astonishment as he raised his eyes and said surprise! ‘’What’s this?’’

‘’Well, it’s your birthday.’’ He shrugged, scooting closer to you with a smirk. Dean smoothly wrapped his arms around your waist, yours instantly resting around his neck. ‘’In my defense, they just had christmas stuff. Blame your parents for having you close to Jesus’ special day.’’

‘’Christmas stuff include pie and not cake?’’ Your brows knitted together, a heartwarming smile on your lips as you watched his expression marked by multicolored little lights. He smelled like something was a blaze, and you knew that was for standing too close to the candle and not for burning a body this time. Small changes.

He scoffed humorously. ‘’You like pie better anyway.’’ He nodded at the carnival-like situation around you two. Dean Winchester wasn’t the kind of man who got insecure, but you could catch a perk of brand nervous hesitation as his green eyes shot you an anxious glance. ‘’Did you like it?’’

‘’I loved it.’’ You pulled cheeks dimpled with joy that was kissed by Dean’s own smiling lips. The kiss was so gentle, it was his own palpable light hearted emotion. You being happy in his arms. It had been so long since he felt he could be enough, he could make someone happy. But you were right there. As you pulled away, another short kiss was given between playful words: ‘’That’s what I call a christmas miracle.’’

‘’Shush.’’ He leaned in and pecked your lips. As Dean pulled back, he couldn’t help but watch around with the pride of Hubris. His glance went back to you, a lopsided grin on his face. God, you loved that smile. You loved that man. ‘’So I added some whiskey to the hot cocoa. We could drink some, eat the pie, and see if those lights make a good improvise rope. What do you tell me?’’

All you could do was kiss him again.

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mieohmy · 4 years ago

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𝗌𝗐𝖾𝖾𝗍 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗌𝗈𝗎𝗋 | 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗍 𝗍𝗐𝗈

original fic → here (i recommend you read it first if you haven’t already to understand the story better!)

PAIRING: CEO boss! jeon wonwoo x secretary! reader

GENRE: fluff, angst, humor, office au

WC: 3k

update: final part can be found here !

❋

“Seungkwan that’s not it!!! I swear I looked through the whole desk, and I can’t find it.” You rub your face in frustration.

It was an earring. Not that big of a deal since you weren’t really wearing it, but it was a gift from your father. So ....it was kind of a big deal. You may or may not have panicked for about 10 minutes before calling seungkwan over to help your search.

“Did you drop it then? Maybe it’s on the ground or something,” seungkwan suggests. You both share a glance before dropping to the floor.

“I can’t believe we’re crawling on the ground like babies for an earring.” You huff from under your desk. “It’s a special earring. Please, just- ow!” Hissing in pain, you stumble out from under your desk where you just hit your head.

Seungkwan looks over at you, unimpressed. “Now that’s funny.” “I just- Seungkwan, seriously?!” You scrunch your face in pain after gently touching your forehead. “Can you check if there’s a mark?”

Seungkwan rolls his eyes, muttering something under his breath before making his way to you. He leans in over you, inspecting your forehead.

“Where? Here?” he presses on a spot. “Ouch! You idiot, don’t press on it,” you say, slapping his hand away. He’s about to respond when you hear someone call your name.

Turning, you spot wonwoo. “CEO Jeon!!” seungkwan blurts out, bowing hastily. Wonwoo doesn’t say anything, standing there with a weird look on his face. You frown, is this deja vu or something? “Secretary y/n, what are you two doing?” The tone in his voice telling you he was clearly jealous.

You had reassured him that you liked him and only him, but it was still funny endearing to you how jealous wonwoo could get.

Fighting back a smile, you explain. “Wonwoo, we were just-“

“Wonwoo?!?!” seungkwan bursts out incredulously. “You call our CEO wonwoo now?” Cringing, you forgot how wonwoo insisted a million times for you to call him his regular name. You both decided on an agreement. Outside of work, you would call him his normal name but at the office, you firmly persisted in calling him formally, it just accidentally slipped out this time.

You look at wonwoo, panicked, but he just shrugs and opens his mouth to speak. You being wilding gesturing behind seungkwan’s back to be quiet and mouthing don’t-! but it’s too late. “I guess you don’t know, Mr. Boo. Y/n and I are in a relationship.”

Seungkwan lets out an incredulous gasp as you slap your face in defeat. He turns to you, and you prepare yourself, bracing. “You didn’t tell me ANYTHING?!?! This whole time I thought we were best friends, and you go and do this?!?” He inhales, about to go off again when wonwoo clears his throat.

“Mr. Boo.” seungkwan freezes. “I’d rather you not blame y/n. We both decided to keep quiet for the sake of our jobs and us as well. You’d understand, right?”

Seungkwan stiffly nods and bows, leaving but not before shooting you a dirty look that screams we’ll talk about this later.

You eventually explain everything to him, forcing him to keep it a secret that ended in you keeping seungkwan in a headlock until he promised.

❋

It’s about a week after finally revealing the secret to seungkwan when you’re finishing up a document, the workday almost ending.

Once you finally close your laptop, a smile makes its way onto your face as you quickly pack up and make your way over to a familiar door.

Knocking, you push through the door, spotting him. Wonwoo gives you a small smile before looking back at his papers. You make your way over, resting your hands on his desk. “I’m about to go home. When are you leaving?” you say.

He furrows his eyebrows, looking outside. “You’re going now? In this weather?” Your eyes follow his out the window, rain pouring down outside. You didn’t even notice the weather.

“It’s ok,” you reassure. “I’ll just run quickly.” Wonwoo knew you didn’t have a vehicle and took the bus home. He offered to drive you every day, but sometimes he would stay at the office super late -plus, you didn’t want people noticing and saying more things.

“Why don’t I just drive you home?” he suggests. You’re about to protest, but a crash of thunder causes you to jump slightly. wonwoo gives you that look. “Y/n, it’ll be way faster and more convenient for me to take you. And don’t worry, I’ll drive instead of my chauffeur. He can go home early.”

You sigh reluctantly before nodding. “Alright, let me just get my stuff.” You walk out to your desk, gathering your stuff before you walk back into his office, looking sad and defeated.

Wonwoo can’t help but smile-he found you adorable. You slowly shuffle over to him. He takes your hand, asking, “what’s wrong?”

“I might’ve left my apartment keys at home..” You squeeze your eyes shut, stupid!! How could you leave your keys at home? What are you gonna do now?

“You can stay at my house. If, that’s okay with you?” You open your eyes, glancing at wonwoo in surprise. You bite your lip, contemplating. You really didn’t have a choice.

“I-I have a spare room, and my maids can get clothes for you too..” he adds. “I guess, If it’s not too much of a bother..” you say hesitantly. Wonwoo grins, “Alright, Let’s go.”

It wasn’t your first time in a car with your boss, but it was the first time you saw him drive. You liked the sight a lot more than you would admit.

❋

Arriving at his house, you’d seen the outside plenty of times when picking him up, but you were definitely more awestruck than you thought. It was different going to his house as his partner, not his secretary.

Once he parks, he gets out and opens your car door for you. You smile at the action. Strolling up the walkway, you spot a servant waiting at the entrance.

She bows to both of you, smiling and saying, “welcome home, Mr. jeon,” before turning to you. “You must be y/l/n y/n. I’ve heard a lot about you,” she says before winking. You shoot wonwoo a surprised and confused look, and he returns it with a smile.

“You think I wouldn’t at least brag about you to my servants?”

Entering his house, you’re in awe, eyes unable to focus on one thing. It was a lot cleaner and simpler than you thought, but still magnificent (plus a lot more kitten accessories than you ever could’ve imagined). His servants did a great job keeping the whole place clean.

“What do you think? It’s your first time inside, isn’t it?” You nod, suddenly feeling more awkward as you realized you were staying overnight in a man’s house, specifically your boyfriend’s.

He continues. “All the workers leave to go home at this time. I don’t like to keep them long. Except for one though, she’ll be assisting you before leaving.” You gulp, you’re gonna be alone in a house with jeon wonwoo?

Wonwoo leads you to another worker, waiting outside a room that you figured was the one you were gonna be staying in. “She’ll help you get adjusted. I’ll be going to my room-it’s just down the hall. If you need anything, call me. Well uh, goodnight, y/n.”

“goodnight.. wonwoo.” He gives you one last smile before walking off, and the maid guides you into your room.

It’s a nice guest room. Not too big or small. Plus, you had your own bathroom. The maid gives you a pile of clothes. “I hope these are fine., and everything else needed should be here.” You nod gratefully, “yes, thank you.”

The maid walks to the door before stopping in front. You glance at her, confused.

“Mr. jeon... he always seemed so lonely living in this big house by himself, It’s nice to see him with someone, especially you who really knows him. Thank you for staying by his side for so long. There are not many who can. He always speaks so highly of you, I can tell you make him really happy.”

You aren’t able to speak, just softly smiling and nodding, too full of emotion.

You space out, thinking of wonwoo before remembering to get ready for bed. You enter the bathroom, it’s way better than yours at home nice.

You frown, there’s no towel. You remember all the workers left, so you have no choice but to ask wonwoo. Preparing yourself, you exhale before leaving your room. Walking through his nice hallway to his room, you notice his door is cracked.

Softly pushing through, the door widens and you’re able to look around before spotting him coming from another room, presumably his bathroom. Except, he was naked. From the waist up. Thank goodness for that towel.

Let’s just say his body was a lot more toned than you thought.

You inhale, staying frozen for a second before your body finally listens to you, and you scramble out, running back to the guest room.

Shutting the door, you fall back against it, letting out a silent scream. AKFJGNE WHAT DID YOU JUST SEE?!?

You try to collect yourself, taking in a deep breath, but the image of him pops into your brain. and you crumple to the ground, face hot.

I guess no washing up tonight...

You didn’t get much sleep that night.

❋

Your eyes flit open. Squinting, you glance around. This isn’t your room... Ah, that’s right. You spent a night at wonwoo‘s house.

Exhausted, you somehow manage to get ready before timidly and quietly exiting your room. Walking to the kitchen, you’re stopped by the view of a full table.

And, wonwoo of course.“Uh, hi,” he says.

“Hi,” you respond, taking in all the food. “I-I asked the servants to cook breakfast. I didn’t know they would make this much... How was your sleep?” wonwoo asks.

You awkwardly nod, “it was nice,“ trying extremely hard to stop a sudden oncoming yawn. “are you sure?” he asks, “you look really tired. Maybe you shouldn’t work today..” You protest. “No! It’s fine- I’m fine.” Your eyes meet his for a second, quickly averting down to your chair.

You promptly sit down, shyly watching as wonwoo gets food for you- your favorites.

You mutter thanks, refusing to look him in the eye as you drink your water.

“Are you okay y/n?? You look like you’re seeing me naked or something,” wonwoo jokes.

You immediately choke, coughing and gasping as you almost drop the cup.

“Y/n!! Are you alright?” wonwoo helps you clean up. You nod, quickly excusing yourself to the bathroom.

You splash water on your face, groaning. This is gonna be a long day.

He drives you to work, and you quickly go up before him. Once you get to your desk, Seungkwan and Dokyeom ambush you.

“Why are you so late? We were getting pretty worried about you. Also, you look horrible.” seungkwan says. You rub your face, sighing as you mutter, “well, that’s what happens when you stay over at Jeon Wonwoo’s house...” Immediately you clamp your hand over your mouth. Curse exhaustion for you not being able to think straight and running your mouth.

“You stayed at Boss’s house overnight?!” Dokyeom furrows his eyebrows in thought. “Wait, does that mean-“

You fly over to him, roughly slapping a hand over his mouth-er, face. Dokyeom shrieks from underneath you. “I swear to god- if you say anything- you’ll no longer have a home to go to,” you mutter into his ear. He gives you a tiny nod.

Finally, you release him and shoot seungkwan a deathly look, dragging your thumb across your neck as a threat. He gulps, nodding hastily.

You turn around, walking before stopping and calling out, “and no! Nothing happened!” You hear seungkwan and dokyeom mutter from behind you.

Sighing, you brush yourself off and continue to the drink station-you needed energy-ignoring others giving you weird stares.

❋

Sometime that afternoon, wonwoo calls you into his office. “What is it?” “Sir?” you add. He only grins, “would you like to come with me to an opening party tonight? You’re free right?”

You nod slowly- you haven’t been to one in a while. Sometimes you would accompany wonwoo to events, dressing up nicely even though you were only there to stay at his side, like a pet. You actually didn’t particularly enjoy them- it was boring talking to random people and escaping strangers who acted a little too flirty for comfort.

But after everything changed- your feelings, specifically, you kinda liked going with him. Wonwoo was still busy interacting with other guests, but he always made time for you and scared off other people.

“Alright, don’t forget to dress up nice,” he winks. You laugh, bowing. “Yes, sir.”

Surprisingly, you were able to control yourself- by that you meant your thoughts. You give credit to your lunch, it gave you energy, and you were able to focus better.

Wonwoo allowed you to go home early and get ready, and you were also able to obtain spare keys to get into your apartment.

Immediately once you opened the door, you flew to your closet, throwing out clothes. What were you gonna wear? No, you already wore that one before. Ugh, that’s too old fashioned.

Before when you used to go to events with wonwoo, you would complain while dressing up. It took you a long time to get ready since wonwoo would insult your look until you looked good enough to join him. It was strange, now, how you actually wanted to dress up and look all nice for him.

Finally, you were ready. A honk outside alerts you. Grabbing your stuff, you quickly walk over to the car. Uncomfortably getting in, you try not to wrinkle your outfit. “You look amazing y/n,” the chauffeur says. You smile, “thank you. It took a while.”

Once you’re almost to wonwoo’s house to pick him up, you quickly take out your phone camera, checking your appearance, smoothing your hair, confirming everything looks okay. You miss the chauffeur’s quiet laugh.

When the driver stops in front, you prepare yourself. Exhaling, you walk out and up to his door, knocking. After a few seconds, a servant opens it. Wonwoo stands there, handsome as ever. “You look beautiful,” he breathes. Blushing, you respond, “you too.”

“Me? Beautiful?” he asks.“Yep,” you respond, looping your arm through his. Wonwoo chuckles, the two of you walking down together. He opens the door for you, and you quickly remark, “what a gentleman..”, causing wonwoo to poke your side.

Throughout the drive, you two chat along the way. “You know,” you muse, “I used to hate coming to these events. It took forever to get ready, and it wasn’t even fun to go to! I mostly agreed for the food. But..”

“But what?” Wonwoo prompts. You look out the window, not catching his eye. “But ... now, I kinda like going, ...with you.” You fidget with your hands, a bashful smile on your face.

The driver chuckles at the two of you, both too shy to look each other in the eye. You suddenly feel something warm move on top of your hand. Your eyes flick down, finding wonwoo‘s hand resting over yours. You smile, a comfortable silence between the two of you as the ride continues on.

“We’re pulling up,” the driver informs you. You brace yourself, preparing for the onslaught of bright flashes and putting on your camera face (even if they weren’t necessarily taking pictures of you).

“Are you ready, sir?” You ask, fingers hovering over the door handle. Wonwoo nods, and you open the door.

Immediately the familiar flashes blind you as you step out, patiently waiting for wonwoo. Once he gets out, you follow behind him, entering the venue.

It’s an extravagant bustling place, filled with other fancy guests. Wonwoo secretly squeezes your hand from behind, before letting go and you leave him to interact with other important people.

You sigh, making your way over to where the food and drinks were.

It feels like hours and hours pass of you avoiding speaking to random people before wonwoo finally approaches you, a sparkle in his eye.

“Are you ready to leave?” You ask. He nods, grinning. “Yes, but I want to show you somewhere first.” You look at him questioningly as he guides you past all the commotion, out through a door.

You gasp. it’s an empty balcony overlooking the city. “How did you find this place?” You breathe. “Well, I wanted some fresh air and happened to find this place.” The two of you stand at the railing, staring over the edge at the beautiful city.

“It’s so pretty at night,” you murmur. Wonwoo suddenly taps your shoulder. Turning, you watch as he fumbles with something in his pocket. No way, he isn’t gonna-?

Wonwoo finally gets it out with an aha! and you squint at what’s in his palm. It’s an..... earring?

Specifically, your earring! You look up at him in shock and delight. “Woo, how did you find this?” He blushes at your nickname for him. “Well, I might’ve asked seungkwan about it, and he told me what happened. It uh, took a little while to find, but I finally got the chance to give it to you.”

“Thank you. It was a gift from my dad,” you whisper. Leaning up, you press a quick kiss to his lips. “Now can we go?”

He laughs, “yeah, we can go home now.”

❋

You crashed into bed that night, immediately falling asleep. But what you didn’t expect was to be woken up by what seemed to be a bazillion phone notifications. Groaning, you reach for your phone, checking the time.

Then you see it. A bunch of texts from Seungkwan and your other close co-workers. As well as even more from people you didn’t even know.

You launch yourself up in bed, clicking on a message sent from Seungkwan.

Oh my god.

You’re screwed.

❋

A/N: uhhh i didn’t plan on making this into three parts but it kinda got long... so here’s part two? :] (also i apologize if there was anyone waiting for this- school just started for me so..🤮🤮)

#seventeen #jeon wonwoo #wonwoo #seventeen wonwoo #wonwoo x reader #jeon wonwoo x reader #wonwoo scenarios #wonwoo imagines #seventeen x reader #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #jeon wonwoo scenarios #jeon wonwoo imagines

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theydontknowaboutusimagines · 4 years ago

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This Christmas - A Harry Styles Christmas Series (Part 1)

Two life long friends. Secretly in love. Home for the holidays. Will they risk everything by telling the other how they feel? Or will they spend another year loving from afar?

Read the Prologue here

You pulled into Anne’s driveway later the following day. You could already feel the difference of being home, it was almost like a weight had been lifted off your shoulder. Maybe this was exactly what you needed.

“Oh there she is!” Anne smiled, walking out to meet you as you got your bags.

“Hi,” you smiled, wrapping your arms around her. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too,” she smiled, hugging you tightly. “Come on, I’ve just finished dinner.”

“Good, I haven’t eaten since breakfast,” you laughed.

You followed Anne inside, leaving your bags in the living room, before heading to wash up and then meeting Anne in the dining room.

“Hm, this smells amazing,” you smiled.

“Thank you,” she smiled.

You took some onto your plate and started eating right away. “Hm, so good,” you groaned. “I’ve missed having food like this.”

“Oh, it’s simple to make,” she said.

“It’s been awhile since I’ve home cooked food,” you tell her. “When I’m trying to meet a deadline, I’m usually ordering takeaway.”

“Well, you don’t have to worry about that while you’re here,” she smiled.

“Thank you,” you smiled. “I really hope I can get some words down here… if I miss this deadline… I’m screwed.”

“I’m sure you will figure it out,” she said. “You always do.”

“In the past, I have,” you nodded. “But there’s just something about this book… that I’m struggling with. I love Christmas… and I love christmas movies and books… but for some reason I’m struggling to write my own.”

“Perhaps, that’s your problem?” She suggested. “You're focusing on everything you’ve seen or read before and trying to make them yours, when you should just take your love of Christmas… and make it yours.”

“Good point,” you nodded.

“Well, I don’t want to keep you much longer. I promised I would stay out of your way and give you space to write,” she smiled. “After dinner, I’ll walk you out to the guest house.”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” you said.

“I can and I will,” she smirked.

You shook your head and finished eating dinner. Once you helped Anne clean up the kitchen, you grabbed your bags and followed her out to the backyard where the tiny guest house stood. You couldn’t help but smile when you saw how decorated it was for Christmas.

“It’s beautiful,” you smiled.

“Thank you,” she smiled. “I went a little extra this year, hoping it might get you into the spirit.”

“Thank you,” you nodded. “I hope so, too.”

Inside there was only a bed alongside the wall and a desk near the other side. There was a small counter with a Keurig and some water. And of course in the far corner was a christmas tree covered in small ornaments and lights.

“I know it isn’t much,” she said. “And you are more than welcome to stay in the house if you’d like, but I thought this might be better for you to not have any distractions.”

“Oh, no, yes, it’s perfect,” you nodded. “Not saying I won’t take you up on the offer to stay inside occasionally, but for now this is where I need to be.”

“Then I’ll leave you to it,” she smiled.

After she left, you sighed placing your things to the side. You took out your comfy, writing pajamas, and quickly changed out of your comfy traveling clothes. You grabbed your computer and your notebook, opening up the still blank page from the night before.

It was time to get writing.

Harry took in the fresh, crisp air as he drove with the window down. He was finally home after spending the last few months in California working on his newest project. He enjoyed his time in LA and the surrounding areas, but there was nothing that could beat being back in London. At least not until he arrived back home to visit his mother, which is exactly where he was headed currently.

It was late and he knew he probably wouldn’t see her until morning, but he couldn’t wait to get home any longer. She wasn’t expecting him until tomorrow evening, but he knew she wouldn’t mind his early… late arrival. It had been a long time since he had been back in his childhood town, the last time was a few days back over the summer. He always loved going back there because the people who lived there still saw him as just Harry, the annoying kid who used to work at the local bakery.

But more importantly, he loved going back because it reminded him of a simpler time. Of course, everyone probably feels that way, but for Harry, it was because there was always the off chance he would run into you. He missed you. He missed talking to you and how things used to be. There was once a time you two were inseparable, but now you two were separated and have been for years.

He blamed himself for what had happened. He let himself get carried away into the famous life and left you in the past. It wasn’t that he meant for it to happen or that he wanted it to, it’s just he was young, he was stupid, and he let too many text and phone calls go unanswered. He supposed people growing apart happened all the time, but he never thought it would happen to either of you.

But he was happy for you. He was proud of you and everything you had accomplished with your writing. He’s read every single one of your books and recommended them to all his friends. Even some of his fans, who have caught him holding a book or two of your’s in a photo. Whenever he felt lonely, he would open one of your books and read it because it felt like he was able to catch up with you.

It was weird, he knew that, but it also made him wonder what might have happened had the two of you stayed in touch. He wondered if he ever would have gotten the courage to tell you how he felt about you. Now, it’s not like he realized his feelings for you all those years ago, but recently during a drunken discussion with Jeff, he realized the one thing holding him back from having a relationship work out was… well you.

It happened after yet another relationship had gone to shit. It wasn’t very long and he didn’t really feel that heartbroken over it, which obviously was a sign that it was supposed to happen, but it still defeated him a bit.

“I don’t get it, Jeff,” Harry said, taking a sip of his drink. “I’m fucked up… I gotta be. Am I that terrible… and I’m gonna be the type of person who just dates around, falls in love, gets my heartbroken, and then repeats the same thing until I’m old?”

“You’re only in your twenties,” Jeff hiccuped. “You’ve still got plenty of time to find love and start a family one day.”

“But what if… what if I already have, but she’s already gone,” he whispered.

“What are you on about?” Jeff groaned.

“How did you know you love Glenne… that she was the one?” Harry asked.

Jeff sighed, “I don’t know… I just… knew… I feel it whenever I’m around her and when I’m not with her I want to be. I can’t picture my life without her… I know it sounds fucking cliche, but being love is very much a cliche thing to do. When you find who you’re supposed to be with, you’ll just know… I promise.”

“That’s what I was afraid of,” Harry whispered.

That person was, in fact, you. He knew it. Deep down he always knew it, but he never let himself admit it. He was afraid. He was stubborn. He was stupid. And now he was paying the price.

You sighed as you deleted yet another entire page worth of writing. Two hours had passed and you were still in the same exact spot you had been when you started. So, apparently, there wasn’t going to be some magical switch in your brain that would get you writing just by being in a different location. You were actually going to have to work it.

Instead of trying to write for another few hours, you decided to grab your shower things and head into the house for a shower and some time to think. First, you needed to relax your mind and your muscles from sitting in both a car and chair for far too long. Then, you could focus on the task at hand. When you got to the guest bathroom in the house, you turned on the water, deciding on taking a bath, hoping that would help.

There were some candles laying around, so you lit those, placing them around the bathroom. You pulled your hair on top of your head before undressing as the water continued filling up the tub. You grabbed your notebook, placing it on the little tray on the tub, along with your phone, before getting inside. You smiled, closing your eyes, taking in smells of the candles and sound of the soft music you were playing from your phone.

The warmth of the water soothed your muscles, releasing the tension they once held as you took some water in your hands pouring it over your chest and shoulders. You brought some up to your face, wiping any sleepiness from your eyes because you knew you wouldn’t be sleeping tonight until you came up with an idea.

Once you felt a bit relaxed, you dried off your hands, taking your notebook out and reading through your pages of notes. You had so many ideas written down, but they had been crossed out because you couldn’t get them to work. So, next you moved onto your phone where you kept your inspiration board. It was mostly an album on your phone with pictures.

You kept searching and searching until finally, you stopped at a photo of you and Harry. It was one of the last ones you took together before you stopped talking. Conveniently, it was one taken at Christmas, where you both were dressed in ugly christmas sweaters. His arms were wrapped around your shoulder and his head was placed on top of yours. You were both laughing at something, but there was something else you noticed.

You were the happiest you had been in a long time, even now. Your smile touched your eyes and there was a glow in your cheeks. There was something about the holidays that seemed to bring people together. Maybe it was part of the Christmas spirit, or because people finally got to take a break from their normal lives for a few weeks.

That’s when it clicked. The idea you had been longing for. You quickly grabbed your pen and started writing it down. Your hand moved swiftly across the paper as if you were afraid you would forget it. Once you felt like you had enough to go on for when you returned to your little hideaway.

You read over your idea.

Two life-long friends return home for the holidays. What will happen when they discover there’s more between them than just friendship. But the love they’ve been searching for was there all along.

You knew it was risky, but you also knew your chance to figure things out with Harry had passed years ago, and maybe writing this story was your way of getting closure. Because this way, you would be in control of the ending.

Here is PART 1 ! I hope you enjoyed it. I know it’s a little slow to start off, but it’ll pick up soon.

Next Part will be posted Tuesday at Midnight CST :)

#Harry Styles Imagines #Harry Styles Fanfiction #Harry Styles Fics #Harry Styles Fanfic #Harry Styles Christmas Series

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vhsrights · 4 years ago

Text

first “i love you” / love confession - @sapphicinephile

Love Isn’t Bound by Languages - Jemily

WC: 1612

IT’S FINALLY DONE. :)

“Kiss the cook? Don’t mind if I do, but only if the pasta turns out good.” JJ made strong eye contact, hoping that Emily caught on to the weight of her words.

“Oh, well then. I guess I’ll be getting kissed tonight. Lucky me.”

The door settled into place with a soft click and JJ walked to the side, removing her coat and shoes. She had brought the ingredients for their wine and cooking night. Fresh tomatoes, herbs, and pasta rustled around in the tote bag. They had opted to make pasta that Emily had suggested, remembering her time watching the cooks in her childhood kitchen. JJ had readily agreed because she was never one to turn down food and wanted to see Emily’s prowess in cooking. Speaking of the brunette, she wasn’t visible as JJ moved slowly through the apartment.

Warm candlelight engulfed the room in front of her. The skylight windows provided an unrestricted view of the world beneath her. It was humbling in a way that Jennifer couldn’t describe. She stood high in this tiny apartment, watching the people below her bustle about their lives, unaware of her gaze. Pulling her eyes away from the outside, JJ meandered around the apartment’s living room. Her eyes slowly perused the sparse art that was on the wall. It gave the apartment an air of grace, but one that felt fake and inauthentic to the woman that she knew lived within its walls.

“Jen.” The way that her nickname sounded, full of elegance, drove more butterflies into JJ’s stomach.

“Em, hey. I got the groceries. Are you ready?”

JJ turned around and was met with Emily. The woman looked unexplainably gorgeous in her casual flannel, t-shirt, and sweats combo. JJ felt her thoughts stutter as she took in the brunette. She couldn’t move as Emily glided past her, her gait full of confidence and aimed towards the kitchen.

“Hey, Jen. You coming?”

“Yeah. Yeah, sorry about that.” JJ turned around and followed Emily while blushing.

She was glad that it had been cold outside, giving her an excuse for her tinted cheeks.

“Alrighty, so first things first. Here is your apron.” Emily pulled out an apron that had “It’s not burnt! Just Crispy!” and JJ laughed. “Hey, I thought you’d like it.”

Emily fake a pout as JJ grabbed the apron and tied it around her waist, still giggling. The cloth somehow still managed to hang loose. Emily noticed and ignored her rapidly beating heart before speaking. She hid her hands in her pockets as they fidgeted increasingly harder to keep her guise of calmness.

“I can help you tie it, Jen. Here, I got it.” Emily pushed off from the counter and circumvented the blonde.

She grabbed the string of the apron. Her hands barely brushed against JJ’s waist yet sent jolts through both of them. Not wanting to prolong their closeness for fear of her heart’s desires, Emily deftly tied the bow. Luckily, or “unluckily”, there was a second set of strings to be tied around JJ’s neck. Of course, she had picked the apron with two sets of ties. Silently reprimanding herself, Emily pushed JJ’s hair to the side. Her hands hesitated as she worked up her nerve.

Stop making this weird. The longer you wait, the more off you’ll seem to Jen. Get it together, Prentiss. Jeez, you’re like a teenager with a crush.

“Em, you okay? Can you tie it?” JJ could feel her heartbeat in her throat, trying to suppress her nerves from bubbling up.

“Yeah. Yeah. It’s done.” Emily made haste in finishing the knot and answering her, pulling away to soothe her racing heart.

She grabbed her own apron and threw it on. This one didn’t have two ties. Lucky Emily. JJ began to giggle once more as she pulled the ingredients out of her tote bag, leaving Emily confused.

“What?” She truly had no idea what JJ was giggling at.

“Did they have a sale at the punny apron store?” Emily looked at her with ample confusion. “Kiss the cook? Don’t mind if I do, but only if the pasta turns out good.” JJ made strong eye contact, hoping that Emily caught on to the weight of her words.

“Oh, well then. I guess I’ll be getting kissed tonight. Lucky me.”

Two could play at this game. The words were no different from their usual banter. However, where they were, about to cook, made it a whole other playing field. Neither woman was one to back down from a competition. The two moved easily around the kitchen, shifting past each other as if they had been doing it for years. Emily’s straightforward instructions left nothing to be desired and helped the women accomplish their dish in the perfect amount of time.

JJ may have nicked herself with the knife a couple of times, but what’s art without a few hiccups. Italian music serenaded them softly from the background. It was like a scene out of a cheesy romantic movie, one that Emily pretended to hate but secretly loved. Both women stole plentiful yearning looks at each other. They caught each other’s eyes and were quick to tear them away.

“Jen, can I get a taste of that?” Emily rested her hand softly on JJ’s hip, leaning over her side to sip the sauce.

“Sure. Here.” JJ felt the warmth of Emily’s body behind her. She had to focus to keep her hand from shaking as she lifted it for the brunette.

Emily tasted the sauce and all but moaned at its illustrious flavors. JJ was extremely thankful that the brunette was standing behind her. Her cheeks had flushed at the sound and her body froze. God, she is trying to kill me. She set the spoon to the side and turned her focus back to the food, as much as her mind would allow. They worked in perfect harmony for the rest of the time; joking, laughing, dancing, and cooking together.

Emily eventually plated the food with JJ’s help. The women marveled at their creation, eager to dig into the dishes. They high-fived before separating one final time. JJ set the table and Emily did some basic cleaning in the kitchen.

“Rossi could never,” Emily smirked mischievously as the two sat down to eat.

“Oh, of course not. We are the new Papa Pastas.” JJ encouraged the joke, thinking to their older teammate’s staunch relationship to pasta.

The food not only looked enticing, but it also tasted heavenly. Both women didn’t speak for the rest of the dinner time, enraptured by their dinner. Emily and JJ occasionally glanced over at each other, conveying their content and other emotions. Neither own wanted to acknowledge the beautiful domesticity of the moment. This was something that both women wanted to do for the rest of their lives, held back by the barrier of unspoken words. Time passed on and the women moved from the table to kitchen, easily washing and putting away dishes for a later time.

Eventually they settled on the couch, heavily poured wine glasses in hand. The evening had gone perfectly.

“Wow. That was so delicious. I think that I owe a thanks to your mother’s cooks. That recipe was perfect.” JJ sipped her wine as Emily watched her with love in her eyes.

“Absolutely. They make me remember that simpler time. My world was so small, and they helped me get through each day.” JJ beamed, noticing the ease and tranquility that had erased the lines of strain and overworking from Emily’s face.

“Speaking of world, I have a question.” Emily thought of her question and smiled.

“Go for it, Em,” JJ spoke, with her interest peaked.

“If you could shout one thing from the rooftops, in any language, and to everyone in the world, what would you say?” Emily watched the light grow in JJ’s eyes.

The blonde’s eyes widened and her mind froze. She had been learning Italian in her spare time, trying to build the courage to use with Emily. She had only needed to learn one phrase, but the rest were useful as well. Now was her shot. Waiting a short second before inhaling deeply, JJ spoke the only phrase in Italian that she fully understood.

“Sono innamorato di Emily Prentiss.”

Emily stopped. Her brain went into overdrive. Translating and retranslating the phrase, hoping that it meant what she understood it to be. I am in love with Emily Prentiss. Her heart was beating in her throat and her thoughts were hazy. She set the wine glass down and looked at JJ, really studying her. She only saw love and admiration, not finding the joke or deceit that she imagined. This was really happening.

“Sono innamorato di Jennifer Jareau.”

The words rolled off of her tongue smoothly as they had done many a time before. Except now, Jennifer would actually hear it. JJ let out the breath she had been holding. I am in love with Jennifer Jareau. It was unbelievable, but her mind began to whizz through things to say.

The only thing that came out was, “Really?”

“Yes. From the first time I spoke to you, and so much more since then.” JJ couldn’t help but smile with all of the hope and love that was bubbling out of her.

“It was the same for me. I fell for you, so hard that I guess I didn’t see you falling for me too. So, can I?” JJ pointed at Emily.

“Can you what?” Not realizing that she hadn’t taken off her apron, Emily looked down.

Kiss the Cook.

“The pasta was beyond amazing, so I have to keep my promise.” JJ giggled and Emily rapidly agreed.

Emily pulled JJ in for a kiss. Their lips met and the world stopped around them. It was the perfect end to their night.

That night, JJ and Emily truly learned that love isn’t bound by languages.

#jemily #prompts #writing #i love you confession #userjemilyology #jennifer jareau #emily prentiss #cm

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holykillercake · 4 years ago

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Hazy Justice - 02

01 03

pairing: Cop!Smoker x MilitaryDoctor!Reader

word count: 2k

summary: After eight years serving your country in a war, you returned to your hometown as the new head of Trauma Surgery in one of the best hospitals in the country. You were expecting a calmer life now, but suddenly you see yourself choosing between your brain and your heart, light and dark, justice and evil.

notes: I guess you saw the gif already! We have the introduction of a new character!

𝕷𝖊𝖆𝖛𝖊 𝖈𝖔𝖒𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖘, 𝖗𝖊𝖖𝖚𝖊𝖘𝖙𝖘, 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊!

Stiff neck and a headache. This is what you get for sleeping on your living room floor.

You took a quick shower and some painkillers before heading for another day of work. On your silent drive towards the hospital, your mind ran through various things.

The first being the list of your patients, the ones you had to check upon first, their conditions, and find out the attending who took care of them during the night, ask them about possible complications and current situation.

The second subject hovered your head as more of a question, though. Had you finally met your neighbor, or was it just a dream, the result of your exhausted state?

You spotted a cute restaurant when you stopped at the red light, perhaps you´d have lunch there today, it was near the hospital, and the place gave you a ¨good food¨ vibe.

The image of the man you dreamed about wandered its way back into your thoughts, despite your difficulty of seeing a perfect picture. His hair was actually the only thing you were sure about. White, a single lock was falling on his forehead, but it didn´t look like it was meant to be there. Maybe it was just ¨end of the day¨ hairstyle.

You parked your car on your designated spot and looked around the parking lot. It was the first time you´ve seen it so crowded. It made sense, though.

A yellow Jaguar drove in a couple of minutes after you did, and since that was the only yellow car you had seen so far, and you spot the small white stuffed bear hanging on the mirror, you knew it was Law.

He left his car and walked over to you with a strange expression.

¨Y/N-ya, what are you doing here?¨ always so straight to the point.

¨Well, good morning, Law. How are you?¨ the man rolled his eyes, but you refused to answer until he learned how to talk to people properly.

¨Morning, Y/N-ya. I´m good. What are you doing here?¨

¨What do you mean? I work here.¨ you gave him a duh face.

¨Yeah, but not today.¨ your head tilted to the side ¨Today is your day off.¨

¨My day off?¨ you were so used to not having days off that it didn´t even cross your mind. You asked the HR person everything but days off. ¨What am I supposed to do on my day off?¨

¨I don´t know, Y/N-ya. Go explore the city or have some rest. Today you only get inside this hospital wounded or dead.¨ he said bitterly, patted your shoulder, and entered the building.

The only thing besides work you had planned for the day was paying a visit to that cute restaurant, so it took you some good thinking to come up with a plan. Maybe Tashigi was free, and you two could do something together.

<Mornin´ Tashigi! U free today?>

<Morning, Y/N-san! I just need to take somethings to the office then I´m free!>

Tashigi´s station was inside the Justice District, so it didn´t take long for you to reach it. The journey was peaceful, and the view was something to take note of. Beautiful leafy trees were strategically planted on the sidewalks, offering shadows for those who preferred to walk, no scratched paint in any house, store, or building. They all looked recently finished. The asphalt was shiny and without bumps or holes, making every car trip smooth.

You entered the Police Department and couldn´t help but feel a bit lost.

¨The new Commissioner made quite a few changes in the place.¨ you mumbled to yourself.

Back in the day when Sengoku was the Chief of the Police Headquarters, the halls were lighter and brighter, the furniture was softer, and it smelled like spring - if that is possible. After he retired, a man named Sakazuki took his place, and to be honest, he seemed pretty decent, but he deals with justice differently, and the place shows.

First, it was damn cold; the AC was making his money worth it; the smell was the second thing that hit you. The strong odor of bleach, the freezing temperature, and the morbid LEDs on the bleak grey ceiling made you feel like you were in a morgue. Everything else was made out of either leather or metal.

This Sakazuki guy was definitely on the list of the people you didn´t want to meet.

¨Hi, can you help me? I´m looking for-¨

¨Y/N-san!¨ Tashigi yelled, almost losing balance and falling on her face.

¨Hey, careful there!¨ you hugged her. ¨You´re good to go?¨

¨Yeah, I just...¨ she turned her head around a couple of times, looking for something. She smiled and waved at someone ¨Smoker-san! Here!¨

The man was getting out of a room, sunglasses on and a cigar on his mouth. He was tall and seemed muscular under the leather jacket, but what caught your attention was his hair, the same white hair you remembered from last night. Only this time it was completely put back, no loose locks.

The change in his expression made you think he had recognized you as well, and the thought of Tashigi´s boss being your front-door neighbor made you chuckle.

¨That´s what I call a coincidence.¨ he said and took off the shades. You struggled not to gasp when his light-brown eyes met yours.

¨Right? I was so tired last night that I thought you were a dream.¨ you giggled, and he broke a smile.

¨You know each other?¨ Tashigi asked.

¨We´re neighbors! It took a while for us to meet, though.¨

¨Tough week.¨ he touched the nape of his neck.

¨Yeah, it was. We even saw you yesterday, Y/N-san!¨ the young officer said, confusing you ¨The Sora park, we were there too! But since you looked so busy, I didn´t want to interrupt.¨

So much happened, but you couldn´t recall anything.

You just focused on starting the triage process. Determining the severity of the patient´s condition, assign a priority level, taking care of those who could be assisted in the local, and having the severely injured ones being sent to the hospital where you knew Marco would take good care of them.

You were immensely wrong when you guessed that the triage process would be easier, thinking that the majority of the victims were fatalities.

Apparently, the park was celebrating its 5th anniversary, so people from not only the different districts but other cities were all gathered in the park.

¨Sorry, I didn´t... see you guys.¨ you said a little apologetic and lost.

¨No apologies needed.¨ Smoker said ¨It was pretty intense. Although we were not supposed to spread knowledge of our presence in the scene.¨ he gave her a disguised rebuke, and you watched your friend get redder than a bell pepper, apologizing.

You stared at each other for two seconds before you burst into laughter.

¨You´re still as clumsy as I remember, Tashigi.¨ you wiped a few tears ¨But don´t worry, this information dies with me.¨ you turned to Smoker, and he nodded, trusting you as a military.

¨S-Should we go, Y/N-san?¨

¨Yes, of course! Well, it was a pleasure meeting you, Smoker.¨

¨Pleasure is all mine, Y/N.¨ you shook hands again, staring each other in the eyes.

His eyes slowly traveled to your lips, and you noticed that you were biting it, blushing more than Tashigi.

¨Well, see you, then!¨ you let go of his hand and rushed to the door.

¨Y/N,¨ you turned with an audible hm? and raised brows ¨knock if you need anything.¨ you nodded and smiled.

¨Will do.¨

¨I´ll have the Kenafa, please.¨ Tashigi told the waiter with so much of a look in the menu.

The cute restaurant you drove by earlier was called Terracota, and it was specialized in foreign cuisine. Even with the names and ingredients, you couldn´t figure out something you´d like, so you decided to order the same thing as the officer.

¨That´s what eight years of ration do to you.¨ you joked.

¨What have you been eating these days?¨

¨Whatever they have on the menu at the hospital. Sandwiches, pasta, sandwiches, sandwiches, chocolate bars, sandwiches...¨ you laughed ¨Haven´t had time to think about cooking yet.¨

¨Take outs are simpler, right?¨ you nodded ¨So, what do you think about Smoker-san?¨

¨Looks decent, polite, hard worker-¨

¨Aw, come on, Y/N-san! That´s not what I asked!¨ she gave you a suggestive look ¨He´s not taken, you know.¨

You open and closed your mouth a couple of times, words refusing to come out.

¨What? Tashigi!¨

¨I´m just saying!¨ she held her hands up, defending herself in the middle of giggles ¨But seriously, Y/N-san, I think he liked you too.¨

¨Ok, first, I never said I liked him, and second, I just got here. Can´t really think about this stuff.¨

¨Well, you should consider, at least. He doesn´t go out a lot, so...¨ she prolonged the last word ¨...maybe it was fate that put you two as neighbors.¨ you scoffed.

¨You believe in this stuff?¨

¨I do. Sometimes we see some crazy things...¨ her expression frowned ¨...it helps if I believe in fate. And the reason behind things... you know?¨ you nodded when she looked at you, even though you didn´t.

For your salvation, the waiter came back with the amuse-bouche, breaking the uncomfortable moment.

You didn´t want to tell her that you stopped believing that everything happens for a reason a long time ago.

¨But you said you have a brother here, right? Have you seen him already?¨

¨Unfortunately, no. He´s out of town now, so I´ll have to wait. God, I miss him so much!¨ a smile grew on your lips with the idea of seeing him again.

¨Oh yeah, you told me he runs businesses. Do you know the names? Maybe I know or visited before, or even know him!¨

¨Of course! There´s the Casino Verde, the Hotel Verde and a restaurant called Suna. I´ve never be-¨

The girl in front of you turned purple as she choked on her food, a raucous cough called everyone´s attention while one hand covered her mouth and the other smacked her chest.

¨Y-Your brother is C-Crocodile?¨ she asked with a hushed voice, still trying to fight her food from coming out.

You were expecting her to know him, but the explosive noodle reaction caught you a little off guard.

¨Yeah... are you ok?¨ you offered her a napkin which she gladly accepted.

¨I´m sorry about this, it´s just...¨ she paused a bit, brows furrowing while her fingers tore the napkin you gave her. Then she took a deep breath and recomposed herself ¨... he´s very famous, you know? He basically runs the Light District!¨

You knew he was rich and powerful, but to say that he ran the most extravagant district was a surprise. A good one, though. You couldn't help but feel proud of him.

You remember all the sacrifices he made when you were two just kids lost in this world. All the humiliating jobs he´d work at to buy you food. The pain of having his childhood taken from him at such young age.

He became a man to protect you. He never let anything or anyone hurt you, he never let you starve even if that meant he´d be going to sleep with nothing but a glass of tap water in his stomach.

You felt a burning sensation on your nose, and your eyes started to water, bringing a genuine smile to rise on your lips and tears roll down your cheeks. You didn´t mind it, though. You were too happy.

¨Yeah... he is my brother.¨

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skinnamon39 · 4 years ago

Text

Recall

“The mind, once stretched by a new idea, never returns to its original dimensions.”

The sentence (and its originator’s long Western name) had been present in one of the first chapters of their psychology textbook. They had read it, agreed with it, and moved on. Now, Es could only wonder why they hadn’t really noticed it before.

They didn’t have to wonder. All they needed to know was that they were Es, Milgram’s warden. All they needed to focus on was their work. There was no need to think of anything else. But more than all of that, they already knew why.

“Let’s try to learn about you!”

Hadn’t Muu said something similar? They couldn’t remember. Did it bother them, not knowing anything about themself? They didn’t even know that for sure anymore, and that did bother them. A little. Maybe.

Ah, they didn’t like this.

They opened their eyes to the near total darkness of their room. (Or, office? Eh, it was kind of both.) Sleep stubbornly refused to come. Guided only by the faint light out in the corridor, Es swung their legs onto the floor, stood up, and made their way to the dining hall.

Things seemed so much simpler in the beginning.

They didn’t go into the dining hall much, usually opting to eat in their office-room-thing. They went into the kitchen even less - Jackalope did the cooking, after all. But tonight, here they were in the pantry, rummaging through boxes of tea.

They had tried, perhaps just to satisfy the itch, to look up the possible benefits of different teas, but it seemed to be a topic too obscure or niche even for their extensive personal library. They had said they didn’t care, so it shouldn’t have bothered them too much. In any case, their hand picked out the box of green tea and a beige-colored mug from a cabinet.

...Wait, how do you boil water again? You just apply heat to it, right? Hopefully this was the right kind of pot… Hopefully they weren’t making too much noise…

They realized a little late that they should have used a kettle instead of a pot. Oh well, a kettle would have made that whining noise. But how would they pour the water into a mug…?

Gripping the mug’s handle with their fingertips, Es lowered it into the pot of water and then moved it to the counter, where they wiped it down with a towel. Who knew that just making some tea would be such a hassle?

After mixing in the tea powder, they took their tea and sat in the dining hall.

They had chosen a seat on the end - picking one in the middle would have been weird, somehow - but that only let them see how long the table was without any people at it. They imagined the prisoners sitting down by their numbers, but in all reality, they probably sat as they liked. Who sat where? With whom? The ten chairs offered no answers.

It occurred to them that even if they wanted to eat their meals here, there was no chair for them.

Es looked back down to their mug of tea. It should have been sufficiently cooled by now. With both hands, they picked it up and took a small sip. Then they took a larger one, trying to wash away the lump in their throat.

They had no good words to describe its actual taste, only that it was mild. Oh, the aftertaste was slightly bitter. Maybe that’s normal for tea.

Improved memory, huh? They took another sip. They weren’t feeling it. Maybe it would have worked for someone else, but not them.

“...like it’s someone else’s…”

What had she said then? What was it about it that made them lose their cool like that? It wasn’t like they could even ask her; she had also forgotten it.

Their eyes glanced up towards the corridor.

“If you don’t walk faster, I’m going to step on you.”

Es chuckled to themself. They had been completely serious in the moment, but now...it seemed funny. Especially since Jackalope had reacted by screaming his tiny head off.

“...Huuuuuh?!”

Now that was funny to begin with. The fact that Yuno really did go and give him such a gloomy report…

Hm. Maybe this tea really did work for memory and things. Or was this just an example of that “placebo effect” they had read about?

“...the pain receptors in my shin simply transmit electrical signals to my spine and brain…”

Ugh, not him. Why’d they have to remember that? Think of something else, think of something else…

“That hurts! What are you doing?!”

Did they feel bad about that? No, they didn’t think so. He had needed it. It had helped them see a different side to him as well. It was creepy, but nice to learn.

That’s right. They liked to learn.

“I want to learn more about myself through them.”

“Es…”

Now that they thought of it, green tea has caffeine in it, doesn’t it? Well, it was too late now.

They walked back into the kitchen. After downing the last of their tea, they rinsed out the mug.

“...How pitiful.”

…!

#cinnamonwrites #milgram #ミルグラム #deco*27 #es #I wrote this when catgirl-brain's translation was the only one available #and she mistranslated gingko tea as green tea #oh well #I FORGOT TO INCLUDE YUNO AAAAAA #quote is from ralph waldo emerson btw

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curvynerdfan · 4 years ago

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Bookkeeper and the Biker

Thank you @xx—day-dreamer—xx for requesting and being patient! This piece was a lot of fun to write but took forever, sorry about that. I hope you like it! 💕

Also sorry for the overload of samcro gifs lol! I just love when you find gifs that fit the storyline

Jax x Reader

Y/N felt like her heart was gonna jump out of her chest. She was headed home. Well, her hometown, she hadn’t been “home” in over ten years. Her dad was killed on a run when she was sixteen and her mom used the opportunity to get her out of Charming. Not that Y/N wanted to leave. She always saw the club as her family but her mom despised SAMCRO after her dad passed. Y/N thought her mom blamed the MC for her dad’s death.

Y/N had flourished in her time away from Charming but still felt like something was missing. So she was going back. Over the past ten years, Y/N had grown her skills and felt confident in her decision to come back.

She loved growing up in Charming. She could remember running around the autoshop with Jax and Opie, driving Gemma insane because it wasn’t exactly safe. The clubhouse took hide-n-seek to a whole nother level and family dinners were her favorite club activity.

She called Gemma about a year ago and the mama bear of the club was ecstatic. At that point Y/N had no plans to move back. She just missed the rest of her family. They reminisced and caught up on each other’s lives. Gemma let her know how the club was doing and Y/N kept her second mom up-to-date on her life.

At some point, Y/N mentioned that her dream life consisted of running her own eclectic bookshop and living above it. She never thought her dream would become reality but Gemma had other plans. A two story shop in downtown Charming popped up on the market and momma Gemma called Y/N before a sign was outside the building. Once Gemma sent her all of the pictures and told her the price, Y/N snatched it up. While she had some savings, the purchase price was being covered by money her dad had left her in his will.Plus, her association with the clube convinced the owner to lower the asking price. She was given access to the fund when she turned 25 and she couldn't think of a better way to spend her money than to pursue her dreams. She even had money left over to purchase books and some furniture for her new place without dipping into her own savings.

Gemma told her she could stay in a clubhouse dorm until her apartment was set up. She pulled into the lot of Teller-Morrow and parked her car. Y/N felt the anxiety build and took a few deep breaths to settle her nerves.

“There is no reason to be nervous. It isn’t like you abandoned Jax or Ope. Hell, they may not even remember me, no biggie, no pressure”, she mumbled to herself, “Gemma invited you. No one goes against Gemma, right? And it’ll be nice to see my SAMCRO family. It’ll be great!” Y/N said, but she didn’t feel as confident as she sounded.

She opened the door and quickly stepped out before she could change her mind. Once completely out of the truck, she stretched her arm up high and arched her back. She grabbed her backpack and her duffle bag and locked up her truck before heading to the office to look for Gemma.

“Can I help you lassie?” A dark-haired Scotsman asked.

“Umm, yes please. I’m looking for Gemma.” she said.

“Ah, is she expecting you?” he questioned.

“Yes, you can just tell her Y/N is here.”, she clarified.

The Scotsman disappeared around the corner and Y/N took the time to take in her surroundings. Very little had changed. The Teller-Morrow signage was rusted and worn in some places, there was newer equipment It also looked there were members in SAMCRO than before based on the number of bikes parked in front of the clubhouse.

“Y/N! There you are baby!”, Gemma shouted as soon as she walked into the office.

Y/N couldn’t help but squeal when she launched herself at Gemma. They had always been close as she was growing up. Gemma taught Y/N how being a nerdy, tomboy didn’t mean that she wasn’t a beautiful badass too.

“Hey, momma.” she said when Gemma squeezed her tight.

Gemma leaned back to look her over and then kissed her cheeks in greeting before pulling Y/N out of the office and across the parking lot, ranting and raving about how great it will be to have a powerful woman back in Charming. Y/N just giggled and let herself be dragged around.

The momma bear had cleaned up a dorm for Y/N to have for however long she needed. While it still looked like a typical clubhouse dorm, there weren’t any posters of naked women or trash scattered around the room. There was also a gift basket of goodies on the bed for her.

Y/N hugged Gemma, “Thank you for going through all this trouble for me. I am happy to be home.”

“Not any trouble at all sweetheart. You’re not the only one happy that you’re back in Charming.I know Jax has been asking about you for a while!” Gemma said, nudging Y/N with an eyebrow raise.

Y/N’s face flushed, “Don’t start with that Gem! Neither one of us should get our hopes up.”, she mumbled.

Y/N has always been close to Jax and Opie but Jackson never fall into the brotherly category. She didn’t want to get excited about the idea of a relationship with Jax and possibly ruin the amazing friendship they have. Plus, she didn’t think she was his type. Gemma said he dated Tara for several years and was really hung up on her when she left. From what Y/N remembered, Tara was always snooty, looked down on the club, and had no desire to live a small town life.

“Baby, you know me, I wouldn’t lie to you. Jax has been head over heels for you from the get go. He kept asking if you remembered him, how you were doing, how he can help you find your place here. Hell, he stocked that top drawer over there with Reaper and SAMCRO shirts so anyone new knows you are important to us. I would wear one of those tonight if I were you!”, Gemma suggested, “Give him a chance before you close yourself off again”

Y/N nodded and decided not to argue when Gemma gave her that all knowing look. Gemma helped her unpack your bags before leaving the dorm. Y/N used the hours before the party to lay on the bed and order more materials for her shop. When she had about an hour before the party’s start time she decided to take a shower and get dolled up before joining the excitement.

After her shower, she rummaged through the drawer that was handpicked by Jax. Y/N ended up grabbing a black “fear the reaper” t-shirt, a pair of her ripped jeans and some old sneakers. Y/N knew better than to wear nice shoes to a SAMCRO party. Y/N decided to tie the t-shirt up so it showed a little bit of her mid-riff and enhanced her natural curves. She dried her hair and applied basic makeup before heading to the party.

Y/N weaved her way in and out of the crowd of club members, their old lady’s, croweaters, and wannabe bikers. She made it to the bar and ordered a double before making her way to Gemma. She was starving and knew the momma bear could direct her to the food.

“Damn babygirl! You are just trying to give these boys a run for their money huh?”, Gemma said approvingly, “Atta girl!”

Gemma fixed her up with a full plate and got her settled in with Tig and Piney. Y/N caught up with the guys and dug in on the delicious food Gemma cooked. All of the sudden to mammoth arms wrapped around her from behind and lifted her into the air.

“What in the world!”, Y/N squealed.

A hefty laugh was the only response she received before she was dropped back down onto her feet. She spun around quickly and then gasped.

“Opie!” her shout pierced his ears and he flinched.

“Damn, you still have pipes!”Ope exclaimed as he wrapped Y/N up in a hug.

Y/N and Opie spent the next thirty minutes talking about life and joking around. Opie knew she was moving back so it wasn’t a surprise, but it was finally true now that she was in front of him. He was going to get married soon and wanted her to be there on his special day. Y/N and Opie had always agreed on the simpler things in life. They wanted to find their person, fall in love, get married, have kids, and live in Charming surrounded by friends and family.

Y/N gave Opie a hug and promised to visit more. The noise was getting to her though, after such a long drive the party wasn’t really her scene. She made a quick stop at the ladies room before getting a refill at the bar.

Jax made his way through the party, greeting members and partygoers as he made his way to Opie. His friend had a massive grin on his face and Jax couldn’t help but laugh. It was rare for the giant man he thought of as a brother to look like a silly puppy.

“What has you smiling so big, brother?” he asked, looking over.

“Y/N” was Opie’s one word response.

“Where?”, Jax couldn’t hold back his excitement.

Opie laughed and reached out to physically turn Jax around. His best friend laughed even harder when Jax’s jaw dropped. She was stunning. Y/N was still the beautiful girl he grew up with but he could tell she was more confident and her curves had developed even more. She was wearing one of the shirts he had picked out for him. That caused an odd sense of satisfaction. Y/N got her drink from the bartender and made her way down the hall and away from the party, more importantly away from him.

Opie slapped his back, “What are you waiting for man? Go get your girl!”

Jax felt his cheek warm and shook his head before swaggering after her. At some point she drifted out of his sight. Jax wracked his brain for where she could have snuck off too. After checking her dorm and finding it empty, he realized where she was. He climbed the stairs but paused before opening the hatch to the roof. What was he going to say to her? He hadn’t seen her in almost ten years. His mom assured him that she would reciprocate his feelings but how do you tell your childhood friend you want to be more.

Y/N jumped when the hatch creeped behind her. She didn’t think anyone would find her up here, but if anyone could it would be Jax or Opie. To her surprise, it was Jax. ‘Dear lordy, he is even hotter now,ah and that clenched jaw oof’, Y/N shook her head to clear her mind.

“Jax, you found me.” She whispered in awe.

It was real now, she was really in front of him “Y/N… of course I found you.”, he said with a sigh.

“Wow! I mean, you look really good, umm, not that you have ever looked bad. Well i guess you look bad in the baddass biker MC VP kinda way, congrats by the way. You don’t look bad ugly, not that you have ever looked ugly, you still take my breath away. I am not some flustered sixteen year old anymore and,” Y/N paused awkwardly, “ Oh my god, that is not how I wanted this to go. It’s been such a long time.I’ve missed you and your mom said you missed me to but now I’m not sure because all you’ve done is stare at me so far, so maybe your mom was wron-” Y/N paused when lips were on hers.

She could feel Jax’s lips smirking against hers, “I missed you too”, he whispered before kissing her again.

Y/N hummed, pulling away from him, “That is the best way anyone has ever made me shut up”

She leaned against his chest before looking up at him again, “What does this mean, Jax?”

“Are you really staying this time?”, he asked.

Y/N nodded, smiling at the sheepish look on his face.

“Then, I want to make you my old lady someday. For now, we can just see how things go. I always pictured us ending up together, but I don’t want to force anything. Biker and a bookkeeper, who would’ve thought?” He smiled.

“I did”, Y/N grinned.

She pulled on Jax and had him join her on ‘their ledge’. He chuckled gently in her ear as he wrapped an arm around her. He couldn’t wait to see where this was going to go. The idea of the bookkeeper and the biker felt good.

Taglist: @justahopelessssromantic

#sons of anarchy imagine #request #jax teller #jackson teller #gemma teller #chibs telford #tig trager #opie winston #samcro #sons of anarchy #samcro imagine #sons of anarchy request #jax x reader #jax oneshot #momma gemma #big brother opie vibes #bookkeeper and the biker #my work

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