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#i think i hate everybody would be a close second
burnmywholelifedown · 2 years
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Wow, I'm Obsessed with you. Thank you for the best answer I've received to an ask!! And for indulging my question game. You answered my question beautifully and I got to know a little more about you. TTDS is one of my most favorite songs ever written and the top off evermore. The lyric to volcano you picked is great, I think it's one of her best lines because I relate to the coreeeee about everything in that line. If I am going to be honest, I think my favorite lyric is "flowers on the side of the road, traveling beside each other, no one has to dance on their own." Because I love songs about women friendships. I was going to do one a day but you get a bonus question! What is your favorite halsey song and why?
Aw I'm so glad you liked it! I'm aware I am not a person who likes things a normal amount so I'm glad you appreciated that. Oooh yes that is a beautiful lyric. I don't think I've every really given it a lot of thought but wow that's actually really cool. I love that poetic way to describe women and their support for each other. Wow look at that now you made me appreciate Sad Girl Summer more which is saying something cause that song didn't work for me when it was first released and it's been slowly growing on me ever since.
Yay two questions! Oh boy I think I have to go with 3am. I mean the song literally begins with this revving sound and then it continues this frenetic energy all the way through. Musically and lyrically it embodies mania to me. That album as a whole spoke to me so much so if I had to pick a favorite song it would definitely be a Manic song. I was impressed that she was vulnerable about her bipolar like that.. I really resonate with the ways mental health shows itself across the album but no more than in 3am where she talks about that jagged sort of chaos that comes from the grandiosity to insecurity swings. Are you a halsey fan?
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Please BE EXCITED about stuff you like/ want to be excited about 💞 That's what life supposed to be about, finding joy in the smallest things, in the things we enjoy and love. And the people that judge us for having that joy in our hearts lose their own life, because they spend too much time judging someone else's life instead of doing something with their own. FUCK them
this is one of my favorite asks and i love you
#nobody will ever stop me from getting excited about things i like#i just always feel like i'm not allowed to share that excitement with anybody directly because of being made fun of in the past#or like i at least have to tone it down by like 99% and make it very brief#because of fear of rejection so i keep it to myself contained in my own space#sometimes i really wanna talk about my favorite things with somebody but i'm like#'nobody knows or cares about this. what if i send something and they hate it and tell me it's horrible'#(a reaction i've been the most used to. either that or just silence)#and i wouldn't know who would actually be interested or if i would be putting them in a situation#where they're not interested at all but they're too nice to say it and then i feel annoying if i keep talking about it#because now even if it isn't SAID that they hate it i still always feel like people are thinking that behind it all#so like if somebody came at me right now telling me everything i like is horrible#that itself wouldn't really bother me because i could just block and continue life without a second thought about that person specifically#because that's just unnecessary and rude regardless of what it's about and i would assume it's just somebody looking to stir things up#delete/block. not taking it personally and not worth thinking about#but it's the anxiety built up from it happening for so long and so consistently from so many people and some that i used to be close to#that now it feels to me that everybody feels that way even if i know LOGICALLY that it isn't true. the feeling is still there#it's one of the long-term effects that are so hard to get rid of once they're set#this is just another thing about myself to work on for probably my entire life#but russ has been helping me with so much lately it's unbelievable
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indecisivemuch · 8 months
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Look at me
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Pairing: Luke Castellan x Reader
Summary: Being oblivious to Luke’s feelings, you tried to get over him by getting a boyfriend, who just does not know how to treat you right. Inspired by the song ‘Boyfriend’ by Dove Cameron ~ “I could be a better boyfriend than him.” (jealous luke, friends-to-lovers, fluff, angst, pining, happy ending.)
Warning: Just the boyfriend being an asshole and unwanted physical touch for a split second, but nothing serious. Sorry if your name is Cole. Violence (physical fighting)
Note: I’m sorry if there are a lot of errors, I haven’t had the chance to edit this thoroughly so if it feels like a train wreck, then I'm sorry. I just needed to write this out, get it out there, so I can go back to revising for my exams in peace lol, cause this plot/idea has been at the back of my head, I could not stop thinking about it or study properly. Lowkey hated how this one turned out, but whoops.
Word count: 4.8k
“People say that eyes are the windows to one's soul,” you once told him. You two have been best friends for a very long time: five years of being attached to the hip. Yet, you were completely oblivious to the way he looked at you. Even everybody at camp noticed and thought it was bound to happen. They were so sure that Luke and you would end up together. So imagine everybody’s surprise when something else occurred.
It happened right in front of Luke: Cole - a boy from Cabin 5 and son of Ares - asked you out, and you said yes.
It has been two months since that day. All Luke could do was sulk as he watched his best friend slip away. Of course, you still tried to spend as much time as possible with him. But even then, things have changed. There were no more of those content silences between the two of you. There were no more carefree laughs that made Luke feel like you two were the only ones that existed in this place. He used to walk you back to your cabin every night, hugging you good night or kissing your forehead close to your hairline if he felt brave enough. Moments like those convinced him you two would be like that forever. But his solace was taken in a split second. Now, you were so near, yet so out of reach. 
It didn’t help that he saw you every day, like right now, as you sat in the middle of a gathering hosted by your cabin. Gods, even the wind seems to be in love with you, judging by the way it was blowing through your hair as if it was trying to twirl itself around those lovely locks that Luke himself used to always tug behind your ears. The sight of you always bathed him in this warm feeling, like the morning sun. Hence his nickname for you: sunshine. 
Then his brown eyes landed on the figure next to you, and they hardened. He has witnessed it all: Cole’s backhanded compliments, ignoring you on your birthday, leaving you alone to talk to his friends, occasionally flirting back with girls who batted an eyelash at him, and then blatantly telling you that you were overthinking it. Luke knew he could treat you so much better. 
You were sitting with your boyfriend and his group of friends, who often gave you weird looks or snickers. Gods, if it was him you were with, he’d never make you feel excluded. He would have his arms around you and defend you if his friends ever made snarky remarks. Not that that would ever happen anyway; you were well-loved at camp, and all his friends loved you. But he would treat you well, nevertheless, not like that dumbass sitting next to you.
One of your favorite songs started playing, and Luke watched as you genuinely smiled for once tonight. You touched your boyfriend’s arm, muttering something to him. Luke knew exactly what you were saying to Cole because you and Luke used to do this together. Except, you never had to ask Luke. 
Whenever your favorite tunes were on, Luke would immediately pull you out of your seat and dance with you, laughing as if nothing mattered at all. Nights like those, he liked to imagine that the stars above envied them and what the two of you had. Now? He felt like one of them, watching from the outside. 
Luke’s jaw clenched as he saw Cole shrugging off your hand on his arm. Gods, Luke felt like that idiot was taking you for granted, and his blood boiled. Before Cole, Luke used to always orchestrated some excuse to have you touch him - getting injured on purpose sometimes just to watch you frantically panic over his wounds and take care of him, volunteering to help you out with swords training just to touch your hand and pretend to adjust the way you were holding it, hugging you every time he greeted you and so on.
For a second, your mask slipped, and you had that look on your face, like something had left you emotionally wounded. It was the kind of look Luke would kill to never see again, and oh, the things he would do to get rid of Cole. Luke had to wrestle with the thought of marching up to Cole and beating him to a pulp. However, he did stand up to approach you.
You felt a hand touch your shoulder. When you peered at the person standing, your eyes immediately glimmered as they caught Luke’s. However, something foreign was gleaming in his eyes. The Hermes boy has always looked at you sweetly. But the way he was looking at you right now was filled with something much more intense - borderline fervent, like an obsession. 
Cole finally glanced over at you for the first time the entire night. Unlike you, he instantly recognized the look in Luke’s eyes: hunger and longing. It was clear as day to everybody but you.
Luke extended his hand out for you to take and you understood right away. For the first time in two months, your hand touched his. Luke’s chest sunk and his breathing lost its usual rhythm for a second as your skin made contact with his. The Hermes boy finally looked over to Cole, and the Ares boy saw an immediate shift in his eyes. Now, they were filled with animosity and - the most obvious of all - heated jealousy. 
Luke led you away from Cole and started twirling you around. You let out a laugh - the kind that was infectious and has always brought a smile to Luke’s lips. You both sang along to the lyrics. For once, your relationship felt restored, just like the good old days. Was it wrong that this was the happiest you have felt since you got together with Cole? You shrugged away the thought as the song slowly ended. Luke settled with both hands on your waist while yours were around his neck. Usually, you would put your head on his chest as you both slightly swayed around. But now that you were in a relationship, you kept a bit of distance between the two of you. You gaze up at Luke, who was already staring at you sweetly. The moment was perfect. Gods, you almost wished to stay in it forever.
Meanwhile, Luke hoped he could convey his thoughts through his eyes - the unspoken words he wished he had told you sooner. Could you not see the infatuation coursing through his veins whenever he was with you? Could you not see that you got him at your beck and call? 
The look you gave him almost convinced him that you heard his thoughts. You leaned your head on his chest, caught off-guard by the speed of his heartbeat as it soothed you along with the music in the background. Feeling a heated look over his way, Luke glanced around and locked eyes with your boyfriend. Cole narrowed his eyes while Luke gave Cole a look of resentment and immense loathing. 
Gods, he could be a much better boyfriend than Cole.
“Hey, man,” when you heard your boyfriend’s voice, you lifted your head from Luke’s chest and withdrew your hands around his neck. “I’ll take over from here,” Cole practically pulled you away from Luke and started swaying with you. Instead of feeling happy that Cole finally danced with you after two months of dating, you felt wrong. Cole's hands were on your waist, but they felt sluggish like his heart was not in it at all. Your ear was against Cole’s chest, so you caught the sound of his heartbeat. It sounded…too calm, almost cold and shallow, causing you to twist your lips into a frown.
You glanced up at your boyfriend but saw him staring behind you instead. So you glanced back and caught a glimpse of Luke before getting pulled around by Cole, who roughly yanked your face towards him. He kissed you almost aggressively. There was something cynical and bitter about the way he was kissing you. 
Cole opened his eyes and conceitedly made eye contact with Luke. The Hermes boy glared at the sight of Cole handling you so roughly, claiming your lips so smugly. If it was him, he would be kissing you for you; he would be kissing you to show you how much he worshiped you and the ground you walk on, not to prove an empty point.
You finally managed to pull away when Cole let go of your chin. “All right, we’re done for the night, don’t you think?” your boyfriend muttered, quickly leaving you to return to his friends as if nothing had happened. Despite feeling slightly aggravated at Cole, you hated that you couldn't care less of his words at that moment, and the first thing you did was look in the direction Luke had been before. 
Yet, he was not there anymore.
~~~
Your cabin was not on the same side as Luke’s cabin for this match of capture the flag. You were fighting off some people who were on the blue team. Years of training with Luke paid off because you managed to point your sword at the person’s neck and grinned when they put their hands up in surrender. You continued perusing through the area, trying to regroup with your team or take down another blue team member. However, you almost tripped as you witnessed Cole on the ground with Luke on top of him, repeatedly punching his face..
“Luke!” you called out, watching as Luke’s action faltered, and his eyes darted around frantically around like a lost wild animal. However, Cole took advantage of Luke’s momentary distraction to land a hit on Luke’s face. The Ares boy got off the ground as Luke stumbled and went for another punch. However, Luke dodged it effortlessly and rammed Cole against a tree instead.
“Hey, knock it off,” you yelled, standing between the boys to stop their flight. Luke immediately backed off, afraid he would accidentally hurt you if he didn’t. But Cole, in the middle of his blind rage, still swung for Luke and ended up striking you across the face instead. Right when that happened, Luke pushed Cole again and rushed to your side to assess your injury. At that very moment, Chiron approached the scene with one of Cole’s friends next to him, who promptly told the man:
“It was him. Luke initiated the fight.” 
~~~
Luke wished for somebody to put him out of this misery as he stared at you from afar helplessly. He was so dotted that it hurt. Somebody must have answered his prayers because your eyes met his from across the field. There was a bit of sadness behind them, perhaps regret from how things ended yesterday. You whispered something to your boyfriend, but Cole did not even spare you a glance and waved his hand as if dismissing you from the discussion. Luke’s hand once again curled into a fist. He bit the inside of his cheek from the pain induced by his injury. The Hermes cabin counselor felt no bit of guilt in his body about his physical altercation with Cole. He felt smug at the sight of Cole with one black eye, busted lip, swollen cheek and a body sporting way more bruises than him. 
You deserved better. 
“Hey, stranger,” you greeted, sitting beside Luke. Almost immediately, he hooked one finger under your chin, tilting your head lightly as if he was afraid he might break you. The boy scanned over your injury, sighing at the sight of purple forming under your skin, indicating an emerging bruise. Even so, under the moonlight, you still looked heavenly to him.
“Devon said you initiated the fight. Is that true, Luke?” Luke frowned at the mention of Cole’s friend. Great, now he knew another idiot’s name. Meanwhile, you have asked this because you knew him. There was no way the boy you knew would lose control like this and swing his hands first. 
“No, but what’s the point of telling Chiron that? It’s two against one,” he breathed out.
“Luke, you’re literally the friendliest and nicest counselor here. Of course, he would believe you,” you reasoned. You sighed disappointingly as Luke only shook his head in response as if asking you to drop it.
Now, you two sat in silence. It felt the same as the comforting ones you have had with him before - the ones that made you feel like you were at home in front of your fireplace, curled up with a book. 
“Why are you with him?” and with that, the comfort evaporated as the air thickened. You and Luke rarely argued or even disagreed, so it felt like an unfamiliar territory every time it felt relatively tense between you two. 
“I know you, which is why I know that you’re absolutely miserable with him, so I don’t understand why you’re still with Cole,” Luke commented, though his voice was quiet because he was considerate of drawing this type of attention to you. He had seen it before - Cole causing public altercations and storming off and you running after him with tears emerging from your eyes. He did not want to put you in the same position.
“Y/N, please, as your best friend…” there it was again, the word that used to make you smile brightly, was now the same one that brought you pain. You wanted more. “...You deserve better,” he uttered, his eyebrows slightly scrunched as he looked at you with those eyes. There it was again, the look so intense that you were convinced they could swallow you whole. Yet, you could not interpret them. So, you looked away.
“Luke…” you said his name almost like a warning sign. The boy sighed at this. 
His fingers gently tilted your chin towards him, urging you to face him. There was so much contrast in the way he touches you and the way Cole does. You knew precisely why Luke wanted you to look at him: your eyes were your tell for him. Years ago, after you told him that eyes were the windows to one's soul, he told you that he knew this already because he had learned that your eyes will always tell the truth for you. That’s how, in so many instances, he would be the first to notice whenever you're upset. 
“Y/N, does he make you happy?” you stiffened at the question. Words choked up in your throat as your mouth opened to answer. You wanted to say yes so you both could get over this conversation. But you knew he would be able to tell you were lying. The way he looked at you right now, as if you were the only thing that mattered. He seemed so vulnerable. Little did you right at this moment, Luke was willing to surrender and let you go if you said yes.
“Oh, this is who you left me to talk to?” Cole's voice broke you both out of the trance. “The person who beat your boyfriend?” Cole passive-aggressively spat, sneering from above as he looked down at the two of you. You called out to your boyfriend, but he quickly cut you off with a quick “Unbelievable,” before walking away. But Cole did this on purpose. He liked the attention he drew, even if they were at your expense, especially because he knew you would chase after him.
“I’m so sorry,” you muttered to Luke on your boyfriend's behalf as you stood up to run after him. Luke frowned as he shook his head. If you were his, he would never allow you to apologize on his behalf, nor would he give a reason for you to ever do that.
“Uhm, what are you waiting for?” Annabeth’s voice broke Luke from his irritated state. “Go after her,” the young girl nudged.
“I doubt I should do that, Annabeth. Last time I was with him, he ended up in the infirmary.”
“Yes, but you need to go after her before it’s too late.”
“It’s already too late.”
“No, it’s not,” the girl stated sternly, and when Luke peered over at her, he recognized the look on her face. From experience, he knew better than to doubt when Annabeth was right. So, he stood up and walked in the direction where you disappeared after your boyfriend.
“Stop it, Cole. I don’t want to…” Your voice grabbed Luke’s attention as he started walking in that direction, eyebrows furrowed.
“Come on, this is the least you could do to make it up to me,” Cole replied. 
When Luke reached the scene, he almost went into an uncontrollable wrath when he saw Cole trying to take off your shirt as you objected and struggled out of his grip. 
“I said ‘let go,’ Cole,” you yelled this time, pushing him back. Upon finally doing so successfully, a figure stormed past you and immediately flung at Cole’s cheek, right at the spot that was already bruising. The impact knocked Cole to the ground as he wailed from the pain. Averting your gaze to the person, you saw Luke. Like a deranged bull, Luke grabbed Cole by the collar and lifted him up, going in for another hit, but you quickly stopped him, calling out his name.
Cole, who did not learn his lesson, spoke again, “Gods, of course! He runs to your aid again. You must be a good fuck for him to get this attached. How many times have you fucked him, huh? Gods, you’re such a whore, you know that?” If it were not for your hands stopping Luke and removing his grip from Cole’ shirt, Luke would have ensured Cole no longer had a face. 
“Cole, stay the fuck away from me. We are over.” Your words seemed to affect Luke more than Cole. It was as if Luke could feel an immense weight being lifted from his shoulders. “Let’s go, this is not worth it,” you told Luke. Cole barked a laugh at this.
“Man, you’re more trouble than it's worth. Do you know why no guys ever asked you out? You’re fucking difficult and clingy, that’s why. If it was not for that fucking bet, I would not have either.” Luke was about to launch at Cole but was caught off guard because you had already done it yourself. You punched him, aiming for his nose and teeth, making sure to break a few.
“You fucking bitch!” Cole spoke after he howled in agony. He spat out blood as his nose started bleeding, “Gods, you’re gonna pay for this.”
“Oh yeah? Come on!” you challenged him, motioning him to come over. Any sense of calm or restraint you had was long gone. “I’ll be the one sending you to the fucking infirmary this time,” right when you started approaching Cole again, you were quickly stopped by Luke. He stood behind you, one of his hands soothingly rubbing your back in an attempt to calm you down. Luke averted his gaze to Cole.
“If you know any better, then leave, Cole. And don’t come near any of us again, or I promise you…” Luke trailed off, shaking his head as his eyes bore the weight of the promise he left unsaid, leaving it to Cole’s imagination as to what Luke would ever do to him if he ever saw the boy again. Something seemed to dawn on Cole as he saw the dark look on Luke’s face. Cole finally decided to leave the scene, limping away from the area as he muttered some insults under his breath.
You turned around and inspected Luke’s hand, which started bleeding again through the bandage. Taking his non-injured hand in yours, you wordlessly dragged the boy to the infirmary. Despite the excruciating pain spreading through his injured hand, Luke blushed at your action and followed you like a lost puppy.
The Apollo person on shift was someone you knew, so you managed to convince them to let you do the work on the Hermes boy. You observed his hand again, peeling off the dirty bandage from it. As you went to grab disinfectant, Luke softly held you back by flipped over his hand that was in yours so that he could take a look at your hand instead.
“Are you okay?” His words made you swiftly look over at him instead. There was a sad look on his face as he sat on the infirmary bed. You haven’t seen him this hurt and dejected in a long time.
“Am I okay? You’re the one with the bleeding hand.”
“You punched him quite hard.”
“He deserved it,” you settled on answering, hesitantly pulling your hand out of his so you could grab the things you needed. 
“You know I had that handled, right?” you asked mindlessly, trying to fill the silence as you disinfected his hand and wrapped a new bandage over it. “I don’t need you to defend my honor or anything, Luke. I can hold my own ground,” you tried joking.
“No, I know you can hold your own ground. Besides, I wasn’t defending your honor,” he spoke softly, watching as you delicately held his hand with so much care. He wished you could hold him like that as well. A quivering sigh escaped his soft lips, his voice much less firm than he wanted it to be: 
“I was defending the girl I’m in love with.”
You immediately looked at him, only to see him already gazing up at you. It was as if a blindfold had been taken off, you finally understood what your other friends were referring to when they said that Luke had always “looked” at you. His eyes were filled with adoration. However, this time, they were also decorated with pain.
“I could be a better boyfriend than him,” he stated, almost like it was a fact, and your gut knew it was true, too. 
“So….Why not me? I watched you give Cole - a complete asshole - a chance with you. I watched him give you so much less than what you deserve. It pains me, but I still sit here and wait for you to look in my direction for even one second in the way I have always looked at you. I could be so good to you, Y/N. I waited for you to realize I could be the one who loves you so endlessly and treats you way better than all these guys combined. So…why? Please tell me why and put me out of my misery. Why is it not me?”
“Luke…” you rasped out his name. Despite the pain he was in, his heart could not help but throb for a second as it yearned for the sound of your voice calling out to him again. He almost scowled at himself for the way he was reacting to you. Gods, you managed to unravel him through the sound of his name from your lips. He hesitated for a second, wondering if he would even be able to take it at all - if he was given a chance with you. Would he be able to handle the way your skin felt against his, or would his heart burst into unstoppable flames? Would he ever be able to move on if you ended up breaking his heart, or would it remain in scattered pieces of you?
“I love you,” he uttered so effortlessly, which almost convinced you he had said it a thousand times before. In a way, he did, but only in his mind after every time he bid you goodnight. Gods, never did you think he’d say it out loud and put it out there. You almost said it before as well - out loud to the universe, but never brave enough.
“Luke, I never knew,” Luke wanted to sigh as he looked away from you. For the first time ever, he did not want to be vulnerable and let you see his eyes. The same ones that had been looking longingly at you for the past five years, and you were too blinded to see.
He could have sworn that he had been laying it on thick for the past years - all the touches, the looks, his actions. Luke would always linger near you and select you first every time he had to go on a quest. And if he ever were selected to go on one without you, the first thing he would do after returning is wrap his arms around your waist as he pulled you into a hug, breathing in your presence like it would bring him back to life from the gruesome battles he had to go through while out of camp. Did all those actions throughout five years not show you enough that he was infatuated with you? He wanted to reassure you that what Cole said previously was not true. Many guys wanted you but never asked you out because they knew he would be first in line no matter what. 
"Luke, please, look at me," Of course he obeyed. His eyes met yours - the ones he always tried to find in a crowd of demigods.
“I never knew that you were an option. I did not know that I could choose you. I thought that even attempting to tell you about my feelings would break our friendship forever. I didn’t know you felt this way, too. In fact,” you dryly chuckled. “I was giving Cole a chance because I was trying to move on from you.” Luke tugged you closer to him, his fingers lingering on your hips. Thousands of thoughts speared through him as he tried to collect himself. A glimmer of hope presented itself as his mind toyed with the idea of you wanting him too.There was no way he was letting you move on now, not when you both have mutual feelings. 
“I thought I was deep in the friend zone. Did you not see all the moves I pulled on you?” he asked.
“What moves?”
“Uhm—the physical contact?”
“I thought you were just touchy.”
“I walked you back to your cabin every night!”
“Well, I thought it was just a best friend thing?”
“The first thing I do after every quest is search for you, you’re always the first one I want to see.”
“I really, really thought it was because you were my best friend.” He groaned at all of your responses.
“But do know, Luke. You have always been my first option in everything. And I would have chosen you again and again, the first pick every round…if I knew you were up for it.” He groaned again, but this time out of temptation and satisfaction. He didn’t think the metaphorical butterflies were real. He slowly but surely stood up from the infirmary’s bed and wrapped his arms around your waist. You reciprocated, your hands around his neck. He leaned closer to you and gulped. He wanted to say the right words, do the right things and not mess this up. He took a deep breath and finally settled on what to say next.
“Can I kiss you?” He muttered in a low, raspy voice with a restrained manner, as if he was holding himself back. Five years of pining led him to this point. You almost melted at the sound of his voice.
“Kiss me, Luke.”
And he did. He pulled you up and arched down, connecting your lips together. He dove in as if he had been waiting for this day his whole life. He felt every breath knocked out of his lungs. He sunk himself into this moment like he was living for it rather than in it. He kissed you as if it was the only time he could and as if you would evaporate if he stopped. His hands moved to your face to embrace your cheeks in his palm.
You started moving your hands up his head and played with his curly hair. You tugged it slightly, and the action drew a moan from Luke. The sound caused you to break away. It made you flustered that you had evoked such an alluring sound from the Hermes boy. 
“I wanna go slow for you, I really do. But it feels like I’ve been waiting for so long. I want to be a gentleman and not skip steps. But I can’t wait anymore,” he whispered before whimpering against your lips, “please be mine.”
He went in for another kiss again, but you pulled away. His heart clenched at this. The boy bit his lip and wanted to scowl at himself for attempting to speed things up. He was too greedy and wanted things too quickly for you. He almost whined at the thought of losing the chance he barely had.
“That was not a question, Luke. Ask me, and I’ll give you an answer,” he stared into your eyes, and it almost set him on fire. He never saw that much passion in them before. It almost matched his, and that made his heart fasten again.
“Will you be mine, sunshine?”
“Yes, Luke. As long as you’re mine too.”
“I have always been yours.”
——————————
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sugarlywhispers · 27 days
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b.katsuki x reader (fem)
a.n; i blame this completely over the Olympics, again. sorry, but it has me on chokehold and i'm not resisting against it LOL 😜
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Okay, hear me out...
Third date with Bakugou Katsuki.
The first one, of course, was very awkward and tense and sometimes even a bit worrisome. We are talking about dating Bakugou Katsuki, the one aggressive and violent Pro Hero that everybody has a hate-love feeling towards for; because the man looks and acts –and can– step on your head and crush it with malicious intent and yet, he's Nº 2 Pro Hero on the ranks and you just know that if he's around, you are completely safe. But he's big and tough and harsh in his talking and walking –how can anyone look that scary by just walking, you're still wondering, but it's real. He's fucking scary.
The second date was way more relaxed. He cooked for you. In his massive penthouse that probably costs more than your annual salary. Yep, morherfucker is rich rich. And you think he deserves it really. After all the troubles he goes through to keep the whole country safe –and even the world–, he completely deserves it. You just forgot how well he does his job to get to be that rich. You don't care about money though. You're dating him because you saw him helping a granny cross the street and that was the cutest thing you ever saw. So, back to the second date, he cooked for you, and damn... now you can say you'll keep dating him because of his food. Man cooks like the gods, like a fucking professional chef of the most expensive restaurant on earth. And also, you noticed how relaxed and in peace he looked in his own environment and he looked. So. Freaking. Attractive. Hot even. He looked just so... deliciously handsome.
So for the third date, and because he picked the second one, this one was of your choice. You decide to go ice skating. And you did not expect what happened at all. 
One would expect that Pro Hero Dynamight, civilian name Bakugou Katsuki, being who he is, would have exceptional balance and even a hidden talent for this. You’re wrong. Everyone is wrong. The second the blades of his skates touched the Ice Rink, he fell. Your eyes opened wide and you definitely were holding back your laugh as he struggled to get himself up by holding the handrail around the rink.
“Need some help?” You asked, getting close to him with no trouble at all. He looked up at you annoyed, struggling so hard to get up and keep his balance that his cheeks turned pink. How. Freaking. Cute. You’re glad that dating the Pro Hero came with its perks –like closing the whole rink just so only you and him are there, enjoying your date on a late wednesday night.
“Shut up. No, I can do it…” He declared, but another fall on his knees made you giggle while sliding backwards and away from him with ease, hands up in surrender. Katsuki looked at you once his stood for the nth time holding the handrail like dear life with a frown on his face, watching you how easy you made it look, “How the fuck are you doing that?”
You giggled again, amused by all of this situation. Sliding back towards him and extending your hands, you said, “Come one, let me help.”
Katsuki buffed but he placed his hands on yours, whole body trembling, barely holding himself up. The image of him sticking his ass up and body bending forward while his feet barely moved made you laugh out loud and he yelled another “shut up!”.
You changed your grip to his forearms and again slid backwards to make him move forward, his legs still trembling and his eyes never leaving the floor. He looked so cute, it made your heart flutter. The smile never left your face as you spoke again, “I used to skate a lot when I was younger. I even prepared myself to compete, but an injury put me out of the game.” 
He immediately looked back at you at your words, “What happened?” He looked curious, but also worried and kind of sad.
You shrugged, “I landed pretty badly over my right leg after a spinning jump once. After that, the shin splints became unbearable and I couldn't continue…” 
He looked down at your leg, watching you move attentively, “Does it hurt now?”
You shook your head and smiled at him, grateful for his worry, “Naah. It would only hurt badly if I tried to skate the way I used to… Guess I demanded a lot of myself back then.”
Katsuki didn’t comment further on, but he kept his attention on your leg. Didn’t that make him even cuter! 
It took you a while –long while– to finally be able to let go of one of his forearms once he was ready on his balance; his other hand still held yours strongly.
Time went by, both of you laughing and smiling while skating around the rink, hand in hand. You’re so happy that you could stand on the ice again. It brought you so many fond memories of when you were a kid. Skating was the only thing that could easily make you smile just because; the wind in your face made you feel free, content. and Katsuki could clearly see that.
For a moment, he got distracted by how beautiful you looked… and he lost his balance again. This time bringing you down with him. He was fast enough though to catch you and make you land over him. Your amused and loud laugh was contagious, so he couldn’t help but smile. He's having fun –even if he knew his body was going to hurt a bit the next day for how many falls he had.
“You’re so clumsy…” You laughed, joking kindly and funny.
“Oh, yeah? Then why don’t you show me what you can do?” His smirk made you suddenly stop laughing. It’s a clear challenge, yet curiosity shined in his eyes.
“Alright, hero… watch and learn,” you helped him stand up and directed him towards the handrail. 
Once he was away from possible harm, Katsuki watched you skate around the rink as if you were flying, gliding around with so much confidence and ease, as if you were made for it. Your hair floating behind you for how fast you were going, dancing beautifully with the air. He was hypnotized. Completely mesmerized by each little form you decided to enlighten him with. He particularly felt fascinated when you decided to spin fast and so many times he couldn’t count how many, then you stopped like it had been nothing and kept gliding around. 
You looked so nice and professional, Katsuki felt a little pang of pity for the world. It would never be able to share how beautifully perfect you looked at the moment.
A few more glides around, until you stopped in a very experienced way right in front of him, a huge smile on your face and a shine on your eyes that were proof of how immensely excited and happy you felt.
Did katsuki say already how fucking beautiful you were?
Just to prove his point, he instantly grabbed your face and kissed you for the very first time.
And fuck, he planned on keep kissing you as much as you would let him.
He let you go for a moment just to say, “That was beautiful… You’re gorgeous.”
You smiled one more time before sliding your arms around his neck to kiss him again. He moved a bit to surround your waist with his arms…
And that’s when he forgot about the handrail and sent you both again towards the floor.
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waywardcrow · 9 months
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Dress.
Summary: After a mission where they crossed a line, Bucky decides to talk about what happened that night with you.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader.
WC: Almost 1600.
TW: Avengers kind of things, talk about weapons, sad reader and sad Bucky, misunderstendings, agents talking shit because of jealousy, SMUT (do not interact if you're not +18) some kissing, dancing and boners lol, semi public make out, oral (f recieving) fingering, hint of other things but not so much because I'm so bad a t this, sorry, let me know if I missed something.
Disclaimer: English is not my first language, please tell me if I make grammar mistakes.
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You hated everything that night, the happy people who were eager to get drunk and forget about the ending year, the music too loud that didn’t let you think, the beautiful dress you bought for that very occasion specifically because you wanted to impress a certain super soldier in the New Year's Eve party but that was before last mission, before you messed it all up.
If you closed your eyes, you could see everything playing perfectly in your mind, how unprofessional you were, how much space Bucky put between you two in the quinjet, the tension that followed you the last days and the words of the agents who probably knew about what happen from him. It was a disaster and you wouldn’t escape from it, Tony would never let you go without an explanation if you requested a transfer to another area.
Distracted, drinking your problems you didn’t noticed Bucky’s gaze tearing apart the pretty gold dress you were wearing as if he could feel your skin against his like that night.
It was a simple mission, find the target, watch it until Valkyrie and Wanda could secured the evidence –an arsenal of Asgardian weapons- and then arrested everyone but your cover was necessary and thanks to your powers, the ability to manipulate brain’s perception to make your audience see what you want- make you perfect to blend with him in that shady club pretending to be just a couple looking for a good time.
Easier to say than done, Bucky fought his boner all night with you dancing too close to him, whispering things in his ear, sitting in his lap… sure you could feel how much he wanted to fuck you there in front of everybody, he indulged in his little fantasy when he feel your own arousal, he told himself it was for the mission when he took you to a semi empty corridor to kiss you dumb.
You tasted better than he imagined, like honey and salvation, Bucky was sure that if he kept kissing you he would find heaven.
“Are you ok, terminator? You look like you’re about to have an aneurysm” Sam pulled him out of his mind just in time before he got in trouble righ there in the middle of the party.
“I’m fine” he wasn’t and Sam let out a chuckle.
“Just go and talk to her, you can’t keep avoiding each other forever.”
You were avoiding him, Bucky just gave you space after you walked away from him when the mission was over, like he didn’t almost cum from having you exactly where he wanted you, with your perfect legs around him with just a thin layer of clothes between you.
“I said I’m fine” he said again, not looking at Sam when you made your way to the elevators, going after you.
It was better for you to leave early, too many drinks and you could end up crying or doing something you’ll regret, like talking to Bucky, who jumped in the elevator you called before the doors closed.
“Going to bed already?” he asked and you stared at him like an idiot, how could he look that good all the damn time? A black suit and white shirt shouldn’t make someone that hot, it was cheating “are you alright, honey?”
How have you missed his voice! A simple taste of him and you wanted more, you wanted him to touch you like that night, like he couldn’t get enough of you, like if time was against you both and every second he wasn’t making you feel all of him was a sacrilege.
“Why are you here, Bucky?”
Cornered, you crossed your arms in front of your chest, drawing his attention to your breasts, the memory of his lips pulling softly at your nipple made you want to close your legs to get some sort of friction, trying to calm the need for him.
Like he could read your mind, he licked his lips, wanting to pull your dress and bury himself in your chest but Bucky needed to have a conversation with you first.
“Are you going to avoid me forever, hon?” the super soldier lifted your chin to make you see him when you set your eyes in your heels “I can take a rejection, sweetheart but not you shutting me out completely.”
Bucky had made lots of friends with time but you were his first one, he didn’t want to lose you; you, in the other hand, were more confused than ever.
“What rejection? If anything, you’re the one who is not interested!” boldness coming from the alcohol made you talk before thinking about stopping “and don’t give me that look James Buchanan Barnes, you know perfectly what I’m talking about.”
The elevators door opened and you stormed out, going to you room, the audacity of that man!
“Can you explain to me what are you talking about?” Bucky took your hand and made you face him when you reached your door, all his cocky attitude was replaced by confusion.
“Please don’t pretend you didn’t tell Carla and Ashley what happen that night, I heard them talking the morning after in the gym” Above all the embarrassment there was hurt, you thought he could be trusted but Bucky proved you were an idiot “they were talking how you hated being assigned with me and to pretend to make out with me.”
Bucky’s heart hammered in his chest, what the hell were you talking about? He didn’t say anything, at all but you looked so sure he couldn’t speak.
“You made it very clear putting distance between us in the ride home but you didn’t have to tell them” your voice trembled, still you refused to cry, if that was the kind of man Bucky was, he didn’t deserve your tears.
“I swear I didn’t say anything, honey, I swear” he promised, making himself small to look at your eyes “I don’t know how they know, please believe me.”
You shake your head; you wanted to believe him but…
“I told no one, I really thought you were mad at me for taking advantage of the situation, that I misread it” he mumbled, desperate to prove you he was telling the truth, taking your face in his hands “I should have been more professional, more of a gentleman, ask you properly on a date, not acting like that, no matter how much I wanted it. That’s why I put space between us; Wanda and Val were looking at me like they would spray me with cold water if I breathed near you.”
Bucky wished you could read his mind to see he was honest but you still could, sensing his desperation matching yours.
“Do you really mean that?”
His heart broke at how unsure you sounded, he would spend every day of his life proving to you how much he meant it.
“I do, honey, you’re not only a friend to me, why do you think I requested to be with you in that mission?” with his arms around your waist, you put your hands in his chest to feel his heartbeat “I can’t be apart from you, I needed you close while I was gathering courage to confess my feelings but then I couldn’t hide it and…”
You interrupted him to kiss him, not giving a damn about anything but Bucky’s lips in yours. He opened the door and you took him with you to your room, tossing his jacket to the floor and taking your heels off.
“You should keep them on” he said between kisses, guiding you to your bed.
“Maybe next time” you promised, opening his dress shirt, he gave you a smirk while he took it off, like he couldn’t wait.
“This dress has to go, even if I love it.”
“I only bought it for you to take it off” you confessed, mesmerized by his hands undressing you before he placed you softly in your bed, earning a grin from him.
“Really? Well, you deserve a reward for thinking about me, honey”
Before you could ask, he was with his knees on the floor, ripping your panties to eat you out like he needed it to keep breathing.
It barely gave you time to let out a lewd moan that only encourage him more, putting your legs in his broad shoulders, nipping at your sensitive bud and teasing your entrance with his fingers.
It was real? It was the alcohol? You could think so if it wasn’t very improbable, your imagination couldn’t make this up, not something this good at least.
“Please” you begged and he shove one finger in you, then almost immediately another while licking you and going back to your clit, moaning at the taste of you, humping the mattress to get some relief, especially when you pulled at his short locks, making him groan.
“Bucky! Pleaseplease…” were the only words you could form but then he decided to replace his fingers with his tongue and you were gone, the orgasm hit you like a thousand waves and you could swear you fainted for a second, only coming back to yourself when you tasted your own arousal in his kiss.
Surprised to being this responsive with him, you kissed him back and he looked at you, fire blazing in his eyes.
“Come back to me, honey, we are just getting started” he promised against your lips and dear God, he was a man of his word. Hors later, the fireworks were loud enough outside but you both couldn’t care less, you finally have what you wanted: each other.
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So this is my first time writing smut and I wanted to do it for New year's Eve, it was fun! Tell me what you think and happy new year!
Love, Lily.
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luveline · 1 year
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hiii jade! can you write something for spencer x badass!reader who despite being sick af, still shows up to work? ur writing always makes my day!! :)
hi, tysm for requesting my love ♡ fem
"What's up with you?" Morgan asks. 
You don't have the energy to tell him to mind his business. "Nothing, I'm fine. What's up with you?" 
"Sorry, are you asking me how I am?" 
Morgan seems to think that you don't like him. It makes sense, in a way, because you've never been outwardly affectionate to him or even friendly, and he's constantly teasing you. But the reason you didn't like him or anyone on the team when you first joined beyond civil professionalism was because of how they treated Spencer. 
You're older now, you've learned that they love him. But they don't appreciate him as much as they should, and so you resolve to appreciate them at a similar level. Spencer gets every ounce of love you have to give, and Morgan gets a smidge when he deserves it. 
"Earth to Y/N. You sick?" Morgan asks. 
You rub the space between your brows. "Sick of stupid questions, sure." 
"Feisty. Where's Reid? Need me to give him a talk about being a better boyfriend?" 
"He's not my boyfriend." 
"He's your something." Morgan's grin softens into a more serious expression, and for a few seconds, he takes you in. You hate being looked at with concern, standing as he asks, "Seriously, are you okay?" 
"I'm okay, Morgan, thank you." 
You speed walk away from the desk to the kitchenette on unsteady footing, where Spencer stands like the light at the end of a dark tunnel making a cup of tea. He bobs the tea bag up and down slowly, his eyebrows pinched together, as though this cup of tea is the most important thing in the world to get right. Your chest aches as you move, your breath noticeably shallow. Spencer must hear you, lifting his arm to gesture for you to come closer. 
"Hey," he says. He usually speaks to you softly but this is a new level of gentleness. It goes without saying that if he were anybody else, his tone would drive you up the wall with annoyance, but he's Spencer. It must be the sugary brown of his eyes and the puppy dog essence to his smile, eager to please, that makes his concern a welcome one. "You okay? Come here." 
You stand obediently at his side. 
"You okay?" he asks again. 
"Yeah, I'm fine. Why does everybody keep asking me that?" you mumble, eyeing his cup of tea longingly. Your throat is sandpaper. 
Spencer slides it toward you without comment. "Because you look sick. Not that you look bad, you don't, you always look nice, but your eyes are glassy, and you look a little clammy." He turns sideways. "You want your tea?" 
"It's for me?" 
"Yeah, it's for you. I put honey in it. I don't know if you like honey…" 
You take the mug and drink it. Honey or not, you're gonna drink every sip, and not just because your throat is deteriorating rapidly. Spencer could make you a cup of hot dish water and you'd pinch your nose to knock it back. 
"Thank you," you say in relief. 
"Sure. Wanna go sit down?" 
"I don't need to sit down." 
"I'm not saying you do. I just," —Spencer laughs, his hand on your shoulder— "I need you to peer assess my last witness account file. You do it quicker than Morgan does." 
"Oh, okay. Yeah, let's go do it." 
Spencer shepherds you to his desk. Morgan peers not so subtly over the partition as you sit in Spencer's chair and roll into the front of his desk, reaching for a pen from his pen pot. You drink blind sips of tea between lines, reading over his file slowly. Your eyes grow heavier as the tea warms your chest, and Spencer's hand falls to your shoulder again. 
"You should go home," he says quietly. He tricked you into sitting down, that's obvious now. 
"I'm okay." 
"You need to rest when you're sick or you'll only get worse," he says, his breath fanning against the short hairs by your ear. 
You close your eyes at the sensation. "I can't go home."
"Why not?" 
"Because I…" You list off. You're sure there was something to say, something important, but Spencer's presence stands behind you and your body must realise that if you want safety to pass out, this will be the place. 
"Y/N," he says sympathetically. 
"Can't drive," you mumble. 
"I'll get you home, don't worry. You just sit here for a second while I sort it out, okay? Don't get up." He rubs down your arm roughly. For once, you get a sense of total confidence from him. You trust that he's gonna get you home in one piece. "Morgan, can you watch her?" 
"'M not a kid," you say. 
"Course not. I'm still gonna look after you, though," Spencer says. 
He takes you home in a borrowed work SUV. You're not sick enough to need carrying, but the moment he sits you down on the couch you fall into a deep, sweaty sleep. When you wake a little later, it's to three extremely important things; the first, a bowl of chicken soup with fresh made croutons; the second, Spencer, his top button undone and smiling as he squeezes your lax hand; and third, your saviour, a jumbo box of Tylenol, sleep aid and decongestants included. You remind yourself to kiss Spencer's cheek when you aren't totally dying. 
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nereidprinc3ss · 7 months
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okay i know this is kind of a specific request but can you do something with professor Spence and uni reader where they get into a spat and argue bc she did something stupid and he gets mad and she’s like “noooo pls don’t be mad i hate when you’re mad at me I’m sorry🥺” bc she literally cannot function knowing she let him down (me with everybody) but he’s like super stubborn and goes all closed up and quiet so that he doesn’t like blow up on her until she finally says like “pls talk to me” and he’s all pissed and like “hell na bitch u crazy!🗣️‼️” but then later he’s like “it’s ok i love u but neva do that shit again ho” then they make up and it’s good again 🎀 ok i explained that so poorly (and comedically if i may) but i hope u get it and pls make it SO DRAMATIC bc I live for drama! like she steals test answers or something or does something that could like get her kicked out of school OR him lose his job 🤔 sigh … idk I’m leaving now. Also i LOOPOOOCE ORRKGOOVI love your fics. Luv em
hey girl (gender neutral) this made me laugh bc genuinely sometimes i write spencer so ooc that is what he sounds like. and i'm not sorry! anyway this is potentially a vyvanse fueled nightmare but i wrote it and i'm posting it MY BLOG MY RULES BITCHESSSS!!!! but genuinely read the content warning LMAO this one got a lil kick to it
warnings/tags: ANGST, HURT/COMFORT, fem!reader, spencer and r get into a for real argument like they're mean to each other, spencer is a lil toxic but its resolved, emotionally neglects reader just for a teeensy second but then he's really nice and sweet again, discussion of his past addic+ion, gets fluffy because i'm not EVIL, gets suggestive at the end bc i am secretly evil.......
a/n: i don't know whats happening. this confuses me just as much as it confuses you. its 3 am in the morning. im gonna post nice happy things soon. Gootbye
“I cannot believe you right now. I don’t even—I don’t even know what to say.” 
“Spencer, you don’t have to say anything. It has nothing to do with you, and I’m not looking for your approval.” 
He looks up from where he’d been rubbing his temples, like you’re a headache, eyebrows raised and lips parted in indignant disbelief. 
“Oh! You’re not looking for my approval? Well thank god for that, because if you were one of my students I would recommend expulsion to the board.” 
“Are you fucking kidding me? I just said I don’t care about your opinion on this, much less your hypothetical opinion from some alternate universe where you have any authority over my education whatsoever.” 
“You distributed an answer key to half of your class! Objectively this is the kind of thing that gets people expelled. I don’t understand how someone so smart could do something so fucking stupid.” 
The words bite more than you were prepared for—but what hurts even more is how much he seems to mean them. In arguments past you’d both said things you didn’t mean, and then would immediately melt into I’m so sorry’s and the fight would resolve itself. Spencer’s clenched jaw and inability to make eye contact with you do not lend themselves to tender apologies. They cannot be attributed to miscommunication. 
You take a step closer to where he’s bracing himself against the countertop, arms crossed defensively in front of your chest. 
“Spencer, I’m sorry. I didn’t think it was such a big deal. People cheat in college all the time.” 
Still no reply. His head shakes so minutely you wonder if you’re imagining it. Panic wells in your chest. 
“Please talk to me. I really hate when you ice me out. I’m sorry, okay? Just... please say something.” 
Finally, his eyes slide to you. They lack the fiery anger of moments ago but there’s not much softness there either. His normally warm gaze now feels too abrasive, too cold and sharp on your bare skin. You're exposed, much too soft for that grating look, and it feels like he can see everything that’s wrong with you. 
“Believe me when I tell you this. I am doing us both a favor by not speaking to you right now.” 
And then he’s leaving the kitchen—nothing but a breeze against your cheek and the sound of a door slamming to prove he was ever there. 
The apartment is silent. You stand in the middle of the kitchen, unsure of what to do next. Spencer very, very rarely gets angry at you to the point of neglect, and you know he’s doing his best with what was modelled for him as a child and his tendency to feel things so deeply it’s nearly disabling; but that doesn’t make it hurt much less. It doesn’t make you feel less abandoned or alone.  
You’re sad, and you’re still pissed, and maybe you’re in just a bit of shock as you robotically move back to your nest of blankets on the couch and resume your schoolwork. What else is there to do? Unless Spencer is right—unless you really are about to get expelled after getting the answer key for an upcoming test from a friend, who then gave it to another friend, and so on. But is that really your fault?  
It’s a struggle to stay focused as your mind keeps drifting back to Spencer in the other room, those cruel words and that cold steely look in his eye that isn’t supposed to ever be aimed at you. It’s not a secret that side of him exists, but it doesn’t belong in this apartment. It’s not something he needs to use against you. He’s supposed to be on your side. But instead, he’d said you should be expelled and essentially called you stupid. And now you’re doing homework for a class at a school you may not even be a student of come Monday. 
---------------------------------------------------
The sound of the office door opening forty-five minutes later spikes your blood pressure and simultaneously makes your heart flutter, because no matter how mad at him you might be, Spencer is still Spencer.  
He comes to stand behind the couch quietly, but you don’t acknowledge him. Maybe your typing gets a bit more aggressive, but aside from that you flat out reject his presence. 
“Can we talk?” 
You let him sweat for a minute as you finish your paragraph. 
“I don’t know, Spencer. Can we? Or are you not done with your temper tantrum?” 
“That is... well deserved,” he sighs, rounding the couch and tapping the bottom of your foot, signaling that he wants you to move your legs. You despise how automatically you comply, pulling your knees to your chest to avoid touching him as he sits next to you. There’s a long moment of silence, in which you resume typing. Spencer scoffs, leaning in slightly to peer at your screen. “Are you doing homework right now? I’m a complete asshole to you and you just... do your homework?"
“What the fuck else was I supposed to do?” you almost-yell, slamming your laptop shut and blinking away potential tears. “The only person I wanted to talk to called me stupid and fucking left!” 
The tears realize their potential once you admit the blunt truth. 
Spencer carefully moves your laptop and pulls you into his arms—and you just let him. There’s not much fight left in you. There wasn’t a lot to begin with. 
“I am so sorry, angel. You’re right, I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have yelled, I shouldn’t have said what I said, I shouldn’t have walked away. I overreacted.” 
“Yeah, you really did,” you cry, allowing him to run his hand over your hair. “Why did you do that? Why were you so fucking mean?” 
His voice shakes slightly as he responds, betraying his own anxieties, and a new, unwelcome sense of trepidation slithers through your veins. 
“I was wondering that, too. Even as I was saying it, I knew—I knew it wasn’t what I wanted to be saying. And then I was in the other room and I wanted to be out here, and I couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t. But I think I was just scared. Which—I know, doesn’t really make sense, but... I think about when Ethan dropped out of the academy, and ended up doing heroin in New Orleans for three years, and I think about when I almost left the BAU because I was so convinced I’d never get clean that I didn’t even want to anymore, and—and the idea of you losing your education and your direction like that terrified me, probably unreasonably, and I took it out on you. And I’m sorry.” 
“But I’m not like you or Ethan. You don’t have to worry about that. Even if I... even I do get in some sort of disciplinary trouble. That’s a road you don’t have to worry about me going down, ever.” 
He fixes some unseen wrinkle on your shirt.  
“Yeah, but, remember... I used to not be like me or Ethan either. Do you think twelve-year-old Spencer would have ever even considered that of the infinite realities and universes which exist, he was living in one where someday he’d be shooting up in the bathroom at work?” 
“Mm-mm,” you hum, shaking your head and burying your face in Spencer’s shoulder. The sound is more of a plea for him to be less descriptive than an answer to his rhetorical question. It’s still much easier for him to talk about that part of his life than it is for you to have to actually imagine it. You didn’t know him then, but you’ve seen pictures, and you know Spencer now, and it’s... it’s just too much. Too sad. 
“Okay,” he agrees soothingly, still playing with your hair. “I digress. My point is that literally anything is possible, and while it’s not necessarily likely, I more than anyone know that anxiety even over the most improbable of things is never completely unfounded.”  
You sniffle in response, too emotionally and physically exhausted to contribute much to the conversation by this point. Thankfully, Spencer can talk for two. An idiosyncrasy which you love and comes in handy every once in a while. He can play his own devil’s advocate; in this case, you. 
“But that doesn’t mean I get to take it out on you. Ever. I truly, truly, sincerely apologize for that. I never want to hurt you.” 
You let the apology sink into your skin like a salve, soothing every abrasion those earlier words had left in their violent wake. 
After a few minutes, you find the energy to ask a question that might best remain unanswered. 
“Are you still mad at me?” 
He’s quiet for a beat, seemingly contemplative as his fingers trace abstract patterns in a language all his own on your arm. 
“I’m not thrilled. But you were right earlier. It’s not my place to be mad at you for something like that.” 
“Mm... it’s a little bit your place. You’re an actual professor.” 
He chuckles. 
“At an entirely different university.” 
“Thank god,” you laugh. “You and me at the same school would be such an HR clusterfuck.”
While it’s almost a serious matter, the smile in his voice is evident. 
“Yeah... I, uh... try not to think about it.” 
“Okay, but seriously. In your professional opinion. Am I fucked? Like, do I need to prepare an appeal and character witnesses or whatever?” 
Spencer sighs. 
“It was incredibly reckless and irresponsible. You should be ready for disciplinary pushback from the schoolboard if you get caught. That being said... because over sixty of you got a hold of the answer key, I doubt anyone is getting expelled, and even if they did, it would likely only be the TA and the student he gave the key to. It’s my tentative, professional opinion that you’ll probably be fine.” 
You relax slightly, allowing a tension you didn’t realize was there to shed like an old skin. 
“I’m not gonna cheat again,” you promise on an exhale. It’s simply too much risk for too little reward.
Spencer’s response is quiet, and comes much faster than you’d expected. 
“Oh, I know you aren’t. Because if you do, you’re going to have to worry about disciplinary action from me. And I’m not nearly as nice as the dean of your school, darling girl.” 
But something about the way he says it—a thinly veiled threat/promise contrasted by a sweet kiss to your forehead—doesn’t exactly make academic honesty look all that exciting.
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twilghtkoo · 1 year
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xoxo - lee donghyuck
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synopsis. in which, your little niece has a crush on your boyfriend.
pairings. donghyuck x reader (f)
genre. fluff, established relationship, non!idol au
warnings. none!
notes. this idea is inspired by this tiktok i saw T_T i was like holy shit this is cute now let’s make it about hyuck :D also something is wrong w my taglist, it says it got deleted but i didn’t delete it so i might have to make a new one😭 so if the link isn’t working that’s why!! just letting y’all know :)
masterlist | series masterlist
“and she hates the crust on her bread–“ your older sister tries to inform.
you push her out your door, mindlessly nodding your head. “i know, i know, don’t worry she’s gonna be fine. now go, before you’re late.” you wave to her one last time before you close the door behind her with a huff.
your six year old niece is still standing behind you with her bluey backpack on her shoulders that has all the things that would entertain her for tonight.
“hi, sweetie. i missed you,” you crouch down to her level, helping her out of her shoes and taking off her backpack.
“i missed you too, auntie!” she smiles and takes off to your living room, giggling.
you had already put on her favorite cartoon on your tv, as you follow her with her bag in your hands before placing it beside the couch.
she’s totally immersed herself in the animated slice-of-life adventures of the dog family. you stand inches away from her, amused at how she has blocked out all of her surroundings.
you turn to walk into your kitchen, thinking of preparing something easy for dinner.
“auntie!” your niece calls out from the living room.
you hum in response, putting away the dried dishes from last night.
“is donghyuck-ie coming over today?” she asks, curiously. and you know just by her tone and the mention of her second favorite person (first is obviously me) she’s twiddling her fingers.
you chuckle to yourself. “yes, he’s coming over later though.”
you hear her gasp before it goes back to being silent, the faint sound of the tv echoing through your apartment.
you’ve noticed your little niece’s infatuation with your boyfriend and you and donghyuck think it’s the cutest thing. she loves playing with him when he comes over while you’re babysitting her, making him sit in the living room with her and color and play with her toys. she gets all shy and geeky when donghyuck walks with her holding hands.
your older sister finds it funny and amusing.
“tell your boyfriend to stop being so handsome yeah? my daughter is bragging to everybody that donghyuck-ie bought her a toy.” your sister groans into your ear, on the phone with you.
you’ve been busy preparing dinner in the kitchen, appreciating the comforting sound of bluey and bingo playing along. every so and so minutes you check on your niece by calling her name.
“yes?”
“just checking on you, you good?”
she hums cutely. “yes auntie.” you peek your head out, seeing her sprawled out on the floor with her backpack next to her and all its contents spread out. she’s drawing something in front of the tv, concentrating with her tongue poking out as she scribbled with her crayons and gazing up at the tv.
she crawls up to her feet, bending down to grab the piece of paper she was doodling on before stomping over to you.
“auntie! auntie!”
you raise your eyebrows, giving her your undivided attention.
she shoves the piece of paper in your face. “look!”
you lean your head back, blinking, trying to adjust to what she’s showing you.
she’s holding up a stationary bluey themed piece of paper that has blue textured crayon words written neatly across the printed lines.
‘dear sunflower ♡’
you gasp, bringing your hands to cover your mouth. “is this a letter for donghyuck?” you whisper to her, from her view, your eyes shaped into crescent moons and your hands are covering your smile.
your niece giggles, using the letter in her tiny hands to hide her face as the pig tails from her head bounce from her nodding.
“he’s gonna love it! i mean, who doesn’t love bluey?” you ask rhetorically, hands on your hips.
“right?”
the doorbell chimes throughout your small home, both you and your niece look at each other with big eyes. already knowing who’s behind the door. your niece runs out the kitchen and into the living room squealing as you make your way to let your boyfriend in.
“hi pretty.” haechan grins at you, his eyelids looking a bit heavy and you already know work was tough on him. he still smiles and extends his arms out for you.
you wrap your arms around his neck, playfully groaning when he squeezes you tight in his grasp.
he lets out a breathy laugh, grabbing your waist to pull you away to connect his lips with yours in a slow, gentle kiss. his hands roaming over your lower back and creeping down to your ass.
“sunflower!” you both break the kiss, you walk back to the kitchen while he bends down to greet the little girl.
“aigoo, hi cutie. how are you?” you hear him coo at her.
“thank u yn for the food.”
“thank you auntie for the food!” they both say at the same time.
you reach over the table to grab their plates and placing them inside the sink, your niece jumps up from her seat and runs out the kitchen. donghyuck takes this moment to snake his hands from behind to lace his fingers together so you can’t run.
his body towering over you, he leans down to nuzzle his face in the crook of your neck, peppering small kisses on your exposed skin. “thank you for dinner baby,” he mumbles against your skin.
you smile, “of course.”
“sunflower!”
he pats your ass, pecking the top of your head before walking away. “yes bum bum,” he replies. the nickname that seemed fitting and grew on her over time, it being short for bumble bee.
“i made something for you.” the little girl shyly utters, the piece of paper in her hands as she shoves it in his hands.
he laughs lightly, sitting on the balls of his feet. “did you draw something for me?”
she shakes her head, her toothy smile on display, her hands behind her back as she sways back and forth on her feet.
you appear behind donghyuck, relaxing your hand on his shoulder.
it’s a comforting silence in your apartment, he’s taking the time to carefully read each word and reading a certain word over again because of the misspelling but he finds it endearing, his smile growing wider as he gets closer to the end.
‘xoxo, bum bum :)’
“hugs and kisses, where did you learn that from?”
“school!” she exclaims.
“school shouldn’t be teaching you how to win hearts,” he states with a playful pout.
she clasps her hands together, stepping closer towards him to point at the tiny prints. “i used my bluey stationary kit, do you like the paper?”
“i do, i’m very honored and i’m going to hang it up in my home. this is my first letter i got from a girl!” he whisper-shouts in your niece’s ear.
obviously you heard him and that made you nudge him with your knee, making him lose his balance.
“auntie you have to write sunflower love letters.”
he smirks, “yeah, auntie.”
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callmerainman · 7 months
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First Man on the Earth still couldn't hit this | sinner!Adam x fem!sinner!Reader
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pairing. sinner!Adam x fem!sinner!Reader
themes. enemies to lovers, Adam reincarnates as a sinner, Reader is a royal guard.
spoilers! for Hazbin Hotel S1 finale
tw! mentions of sex, suggestive themes in general, the feminism leaving my body as I write for Adam
When Adam came back as a sinner and asked to be redeemed at the Hotel, no one was having that shit lmao.
But, as always, Charlie believes in second chances and it didn't feel right to her to just not let him in.
At only one condition: he would always have to be supervised by you, Lucifer's royal guard.
You were skilfully trained to become a guard at the royal family's services, and Lucifer had just the right mission for you in mind.
You accepted gladly, finally a task that wasn't guarding his rubber ducks.
But then you meet Adam, and you start immediately regretting the ducks.
You both find each other totally INSUFFERABLE.
He hates the idea of someone watching over him, so he lashes at you multiple times a day, as you talk back to him.
"Can't you just not stick your fucking angelic spear in my cereals?"
Despite your hatred for him, you took the mission very seriously and watched over him to check all his moves, just in case he had bad intentions.
But if you could, oh you would have ran away from his repellent presence the second you saw him at the Hotel.
He despises you so much that he doesn't even dare to flirt with you. You heard right. ADAM.
It takes some next level skill to get on his nerves to the point where he doesn't even want to sleep with you. And he remarks it a lot.
You do the same honestly.
"An old hag like you can only DREAM of having a piece of the original dick!"
Your face distorts in disgust "I would rather swallow all of Lucifer's rubber ducks than even think about it!"
At least you agree on something.
So your dynamic mainly consists of fighting, shouting at each other, name calling, pointing at his throat with your spear, Charlie separating you two as soon as you start throwing hands.
Speaking of Charlie, she had some special classes to make you two get along but they made things worse if anything.
One of them lead to the biggest fight you and Adam ever had.
As soon as you both get up to go to your respective rooms, still shouting insults at each other, Angel Dust raises one of his hands.
"Is it me or I sense some unspoken sexual tension?"
Everybody groans in disapproval, but immediately starts placing bets. Angel Dust is the only one who bets that you two will end up fucking.
In your room, you try to cool down but Adam is just making your job impossible. You're in fact fuming just by thinking about him and his stupid pretty face and his way of talking back to you.
Exasperated, you knock at his door, face already hot in anger. You want to set things straight.
As soon as he opens the door and sees you, he's already annoyed.
"You're making my job fucking impossible, you know?! If you really want to redeem yourself maybe you can start collaborating instead of being the most fucking annoying being to ever land in Hell!" you scream, pointing a finger at him.
Adam gets close to your face, towering over you "I'm not the one who asked to have someone fucking glued to my ass, you know?!"
Neither of you noticed your proximity, not until your foreheads were touching and you were breathing heavily against each other's faces, both hot. From anger, or...you know.
And then, something happens.
You both just lean in and kiss.
Oh boy Angel Dust may be onto something.
The moment you and Adam start to make out is the one you realize that all that fighting was your way of denying something that is now obvious.
The magnetic, undeniable sexual tension that wasn't just some weird figment of imagination.
In a matter of seconds you're all over each other and Adam drags you inside his room. You shut the door, just in case.
After you're done you find something else to agree on! 1. Best sex ever 2. No one has to know 3. Never again
You end up having sex again that very same day. And everybody knows because they heard you downstairs. A very lucky day for Angel Dust's finances!
Neither of you knew that the others at the Hotel were aware so you two would try to sneak out to have sex discreetly.
"We'll go upstairs to...uh...FIGHT! You know? Because we always fight! And we're totally not going upstairs to have sex...'cause we would never have sex with each other!"
Except none of that is discreet, you two go absolutely wild at it.
Meanwhile, you and Adam start to open up to each other more, mainly during pillow talk. You find out that you have a common music taste, and humor. Conversations flow so naturally, something that you would have never guessed.
Something blossoms, and you and Adam realize that you are head over heels for each other.
In the end, Charlie brings up to you two that everybody at the Hotel knows that you have been hooking up. On one side, because she's genuinely happy that you two get along in one way or another. Second, Alastor threatened to obliterate you both if you don't stop exposing him to your obscenities.
So you and Adam decide to stop keeping it a secret, to both yourselves and the gang, and officially become a couple.
Let's say that you still are all over him but in a very different way.
The other guests at the Hotel start regretting the times when you two would just shout at each other incoherently.
Lots of PDA, that's the point.
Not in front of Alastor though, you don't want to risk anything.
But what's more redeeming than a really, really, really stupid love?
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skipper1331 · 6 months
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Is it too late to make things right? // Grace Clinton
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a/n: based off this request. Hope you enjoy it!
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Everything Grace Clinton did, made you furious.
It didn’t matter if it was the way she talked, laughed or played - even just her breathing, blinking or existing made you more than angry.
You hated Grace Clinton with a passion and no, not without any reason, as everybody always said.
"Don’t be so rude to Gracie, she did nothing wrong"
"Can‘t you be nice to her for once?"
"It‘s her debut show some respect"
You hated Grace Clinton for what she did to you and the way she had humiliated you.
But in fact, you respected her debut, she played phenomenally but obviously you didn’t tell her that - you didn’t talk to her at all.
After the game, you walked to the changing room, not looking at the midfielder or giving her congratulations for her game.
"What the fuck is your problem?" the voice of Alessia shrilled through the hall.
"Are you talking to me?" you asked dumbfounded, confused on what the problem was.
"Who else?"
Shrugging your shoulders, you looked at her. "Come on, out of everybody you were the first one to flee the scene"
"and apparently, you the second one, hm?" you cut her off, "Alessia, say what you want to say or leave me alone" you stated firmly, even though you already knew what the problem was: Grace Clinton.
Taken back from your firm voice and the use of Alessia instead of Less made her crumble under your gaze - you loved nicknames, you rarely called people by their actual name.
"What is your problem with Grace?" she asked anyways.
"I don’t have a problem with Clinton"
There it was - Clinton, it clearly showed your disliking.
Alessia knew you well enough to know that that was a lie, not only because you were a terrible liar but the Clinton gave it away. If Lessi had to describe you, she would say "When she calls you by a nickname, she loves you - you’re her friend. When she calls you by your actual name, she a) doesn’t know you yet or b) the situation is serious. When you get called by your surname, there is a problem."
"Didn’t think you’d be a liar" she replied, slowly getting annoyed at your behavior. Grace was like a little sister to her, she had to be protected at all costs.
"And I don’t think I have asked for your opinion"
With that you turned back around and continued your walk to the changing room.
"Ever since Grace is here you’re an absolute ass!" the blonde yelled after you.
-
You avoided Alessia, and Grace even more after your encounter with the blonde. Out of everyone, you didn’t expect Alessia to be rude to you. Not only because she‘s a sunshine herself but because she‘s your club teammate too. But it’s about Clinton, of course she would protect her.
What Alessia didn’t know was that her sweet Gracie was an ass herself, rude and mean.
-
"Hey"
You looked up from your book, seeing Less in front of you, before taking a seat beside you.
"Can I help you?" you asked, turning the page in your book, focusing on the words there.
The striker sighed, thinking about what to say - she stayed silent.
"I‘m not in the mood for being yelled at again, so with all respect, please leave me alone"
"I‘m sorry for my outburst" she apologized, "I’m just trying to understand what the problem is.."
This time it was you who sighed, closing the book, "Less, I don’t want to be rude, but it‘s none of your business. Gracie is not the person she used to be and neither am I. We play for the same country and that‘s it" you stood up from your seat, intending to leave - running away.
Alessia was shocked, not about the part where you said it’s none of her business - she knew you were right - you didn’t call the current Tottenham player Clinton but Gracie. You could have chosen anything yet you said Gracie, a nickname.
"What happened between the two of you?" Her hand on your arm stopped you, Lessi‘s voice caring.
On clue, said person came into view, locking eyes with you.
"We grew apart"
It was the longest eye contact you had with her since what? maybe years. Familiar feelings rummaged through your body - looking into the eyes you once loved so dearly.
Anger was displayed on her face, marching over as she purposely and aggressively bumped into you, "watch where you‘re going" she spat which you only ignored.
"What the fuck, Alessia" the midfielder growled, pulling her somewhere more private.
"Why are you talking to her about me!"
"Grace-"
"No, Alessia! This is absolutely none of your fucking business. She broke up with me years ago, so let her be!"
"Who broke up with whom?" The noisy voice of Ella chipped in. The place Grace chose wasn‘t as private as she had thought.
"Y/n was your girlfriend?"
The young lioness inhaled, closing her eyes for a brief moment, "no.. she ended things before I could ask her."
"Why?" Tooney asked as the best friends shared a look.
"We should go on a walk" the blonde striker then proposed, to which Grace surprisingly agreed. The topic had been bothering her for years, not knowing what she had done wrong, that you didn't want anything to do with her anymore. From one day to the next you ignored her, stopped talking to her - didn't even look at her. What had she done wrong? Her heart still breaks when she thinks back to the evening when everything went downhill. She wanted to ask you that night if you would like to be her girlfriend. You had danced around your feelings quite a while, even though you both knew there was something there - the stolen kisses, the sneaky touches, the love letters - but you broke her heart before she could ask you, even though the real reason was that she had broken your heart first.
"Why haven’t you talked to us?" Lessi asked as the three of them walked outside of the facility in Spain.
Shrugging her shoulders, "there was never a reason to" she replied, "we never played at the same club, so it was easy for her to avoid me, same goes with the call up - she got hers earlier, so we didn’t see each other at camps either"
"How do you feel now? Seeing her?" this time it was Ella who asked.
"I‘m being rude to her. And I know that‘s not right, but it‘s- I don’t even know, unspoken anger I guess, because she just broke my heart and because that‘s the only attention I will get from her…"
"You loved her, didn’t you?"
"I do"
"Do?"
"Did? Have? Do? I don’t know" she mumbled, "how could I not? You know her, she‘s more than incredible"
Years later, Grace still wasn’t over you, being near you made it clear. She couldn’t get over the things she felt for you. You were the first girl she‘s kind of been with. You were her first love story and her first love.
Putting her feelings aside, busying herself with work didn’t heal her, it just made her feelings more intense as they came crashing down now.
"Have you ever tried talking to her?"
"Of course! I asked her so many times what I did wrong, she never answered me" she sighed.
Alessia and Ella had never seen their friend so vulnerable and tired. Her facade had dropped, she deeply cared about you yet all the unanswered questions turned into anger - she just didn’t know how to deal with her feelings and the struggle of not having you in her life.
She missed you.
-
To say that Ella and Alessia saw you differently now was only partly correct. Both of them had many questions, what did happen? What was the reason you ended things before they even started? Has Grace done something wrong? But most importantly: Was there a way to make amends?
It was the next day after training when the best friends decided to take matters into their own hands. You two had to sort things out. The rudeness started getting more and more while the tension grew thicker each second. To be fair, it didn’t affect either of your or the teams playing performance as you kept things professional on the pitch yet off the pitch both of you acted like angry toddlers towards each other.
"We need to do something" Ella huffed at Alessia, both of them watching you growling at Grace.
"Do what? Lock them in a room??" Alessia intended to joke which the midfielder took seriously. "That‘s an awesome idea!", pulling the girl towards Mary - they definitely needed her help.
And when Mary was introduced to the idea, the three, so called master minds, came up with a perfect plan.
-
"Grace, wanna play darts?" Ella asked the young lioness, grinning.
"Um, maybe later" asked person replied as she relaxed on one of the bean bags in the 'movie' room.
"Are you afraid you‘ll loose?" Tooney challenged - she knew Grace could never back down a challenge and not even the slightest when it was something as simple as darts. It can’t be that hard to throw a dart, can it?
Meanwhile Mary asked you the exact same, the only difference that you agreed in an instant, darts something you loved to play in camps.
Walking to the 'game' room of the facility - a room with darts, pool and table football - the gk and you talked about the last upcoming friendly.
Arriving in the room, "I forgot my lucky dart!" Mary suddenly stated, leaving the room quickly, "I’m back in a moment" she called.
Not thinking anything about it, you waited for her to come back.
She didn’t.
In fact, when the door opened again, someone stumbled into the room before the door was quickly locked.
"Ella?!"
"Sorry for pushing you!" the man united player answered behind the closed door.
"Why are you locking me in this room?"
"Turn around" you answered.
The current Tottenham player jumped, "don‘t scare me like that!" her hand clutching over her heart, trying to calm down.
"You have to sort things out" Alessia joined the conversation.
"We can play darts after that" Mary added.
"We‘ll be back in an hour"
You grumbled under your breath, marching away from Grace who stood in front of the door hoping it would open magically.
"I guess, we have to talk if we want to leave this room today" Grace said after 10 minutes of an awkward silence.
"No thanks" you responded nonchalantly. You didn‘t want to talk to Grace ever again unless it was work related.
"Come on, don’t be so stubborn" the midfielder slowly walked towards you sitting on the pool table.
"Grow up, Clinton"
"I grew up while we grew apart" she mocked your words - words that hadn’t left her mind ever since you said them. What did you even mean by that? You haven’t grown apart - you ended things out of nowhere!
"Clinton, leave me alone"
That was the last straw, "can you fucking stop with the Clinton?!" she snapped, stepping right in front of you. She hated it. Yes, it was her surname and she loved to see it on the back of jerseys but she hated it when you called her that. What happened to Gracie? Lovely girl? Or love?
"Get a grip, Clinton"
There was no point in making an effort - you wouldn’t talk, you‘ve made that very clear.
Grace walked to the other side of the room, sitting down on the little bench that was the next to the dartboard.
She felt helpless. And even though she was in the same room, it felt like the two of you were oceans apart.
The silence was deafening.
You didn’t mind that - as long as Grace was shutting her mouth, you‘d be fine with everything.
Grace did mind it - it made her anxious. She was closer to you than she had been in years. This was her opportunity to find out what she did wrong and what the reason was that you hated her now. What happened to being friends? Secret Lovers? What’s happened to the chance of being together forever?
"Y/n/n, please" the young lioness almost whispered. You froze, you hadn’t heard that one in years - the midfielder, the only one who ever used that nickname.
"Just answer one question and I promise you to never talk to you again off pitch"
"You better keep that promise" you said firmly, turning around as the Tottenham player jumped up, walking towards you.
Leaning against the table football, she thought about her questions - which would be the best to ask.
"What did I do wrong?" It was the most obvious question to ask but maybe the answer would finally give Grace some inner peace.
"Seriously? Of all the questions you could have asked, you chose one where you already know the answer-"
"But I don‘t! I don’t know anything! Out of nowhere you cut me off! Pretending I don’t exist!"
"You don‘t exist to me anymore" you stated rather calmly while Grace was gesticulating wildly, frown and the wrinkle between her brows deepening.
"How can you say that?! I used to be important to you"
Lowly, you empathized "Used to" which was only partly true. Parts of your heart always yearned for Grace, hoping she was doing well and achieving all of her dreams.
A part of you still loved Grace Clinton, and forever will.
"Just- just answer the question, please"
"You humiliated me, Grace, you humiliated me in the worst way you ever could."
"How? I‘m so in love with you, i would never dream of upsetting you in any way."
You laughed, clapping your hands, "You‘re funny"
"What‘s wrong with you?!"
"What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you?" You felt yourself getting angry, starting to match her furios energy. As if Grace didn‘t know what she had done - what sick game was she playing?
"You humiliated me, Grace, that’s what wrong. How could you? I thought- i thought you liked me. At least enough to keep private things private and not to read them out loud in the fucking locker room!" your voice took many changes in that short statement. It started off calm, before it turned sad, almost vulnerable as the last part was full of venom.
The midfielder froze on the spot, arms falling to her sides as she realized what the problem had been years ago and still was.
The unknown feeling exposed now, flashbacks crossing her mind from that day, "the letters" left her mouth, eyes wide. How could it be that she hadn't thought of this sooner? Now everything made sense! Your anger and hostility towards her, the abrupt break in contact. The world was no longer your enemy, your only enemy was someone you believed would never break your heart. A someone that had promised you to fight with you against the world but instead, she had weakened you so much that you no longer had the strength to do so - your last strength was directed against her.
"Exactly. I‘ve heard what you said, Grace. And the worst part? You didn’t even read them. Our friend read them out loud and you laughed about them, telling the whole locker room that i was weirdly obsessed with you 'Nah. I don‘t stand her - she follows me around like a lost puppy. I don‘t even like girls' I remember everything, word for word, Clinton"
Your eyes turned glossy, you never healed from that humiliation.
"Listen to me-"
"No, you will listen to me." you growled, your voice was so full of anger, stepping towards her to intimidate her, "stay away from me"
Grace was breathing heavily, her eyes darting around your face - you were so close to her.
Not in control of her soul, mind or body, Grace smashed her lips against yours, hands gripping your hips as she pulled you close.
You couldn’t even register what was happening before your body responded in kissing her back - matching her energy.
The kiss was nothing like the kisses you shared before - it was feisty, all anger purred into this one kiss.
Yet it felt so good, your heart felt peace, an old familiar feeling you only ever felt when you were with the lioness. The walls you had built around it were gone. So even though Gracie was the reason why you had built them in the first place, she was now the reason why they collapsed.
When you slowly came to your senses, you pushed her away, lips swollen from kissing each other, feeling dizzy at the intensity and the feeling of happiness it had given you.
"I‘m sorry-"
"A sorry won‘t fix anything!" you shouted. You were so confused.
It was the first time where you ever had raised your voice at Grace. You didn’t mean the kiss but the girl knew exactly what you were referring to. And even though, you didn‘t like shouting or yelling in general, let alone at someone like Gracie, you defended yourself with that - an apology wouldn’t fix anything nor would a kiss.
"Sorry, I didn’t mean to raise my voice" you said, not liking a shouting atmosphere or the sad look in Grace‘s eyes.
"It‘s okay" the midfielder breathed out shakily, "you know, all of your love notes are in my wallet. I read them at least once a day" she admitted, staring at the floor, not being able to trust her voice if she would look you in the eye, "It was stupid to think that I didn‘t know what I have done wrong while it was in fact right in front of me. I broke your heart the day you broke mine." taking a deep breath, she sorted her thoughts, "I have no right to ask for your forgiveness, all I want to do is give you an explanation."
You nodded slightly - you always wanted an explanation but instead of confronting the girl that day, you ran away, protecting yourself more and more over the years.
"One of the girls found your letters in my bag when they searched for something, I don’t even remember what. She read them out loud while I was on the other side of the locker room talking to your friend. I asked her, if I had her blessing to ask you to be my girlfriend. I knew how important it was to you and since she was the only who knew about us, that was the least I could do. We never talked about telling our teammates, so when she read the letters, I panicked. I panicked because I didn‘t want to be outed by someone else. I also panicked because I didn’t know if you‘d be okay with me admitting our- my love for you. I got so scared in that moment, that my self-protection mechanism answered before I could even reflect the situation. It felt like a stranger was controlling me. And you‘re right, 'sorry' won‘t fix anything but I want you to know that it was never my intention to break your heart. I meant it when I said that I want you to be mine forever. I have always loved you and I don’t think, that I will ever love someone who isn‘t you. So, even though it won‘t fix anything; I sincerely want to apologize. I‘m proud of you and the footballer you became - I will always be your number one fan"
Throughout her explanation, three things remained in your mind,
1. I don’t think I will ever love someone else - did that mean she still loved you?
2. Strangely, you believed every word she said. Grace had never lied to you - she was a terrible liar anyways.
3. Ask you to be my girlfriend - she wanted to make things official..?
"I did. I wanted you to be my girlfriend the second you smiled at me. I remember your shy smile, the way you looked everywhere, only briefly stopping at me." she chuckled, a love sick smile on her face.
"I thought I said that only in my head" you mumbled, cheeks turning red.
As Grace took a step closer, her hands cupping your cheeks, so you would look at her instead of the floor. "I never wanted to be your enemy" she whispered, her lips pressing tenderly against your forehead - a confession and a promise.
In that moment, both of you realized that maybe it wasn‘t too late to make things right. But it would take time and patience for you to learn how to love and trust each other again.
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splatashahowlett · 1 month
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missing piece
logan (james) howlett x reader
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the record player was playing One piece at a time, your favorite song, occasionally letting out a soft sound of scratching against the vinyl. the bar was crowded and everybody seemed to have a good time. the 70's may become your favorite decade. you've been alive for over a hundred years now but you liked everything about this era; the music, the clothes and the recklessness of it.
you were currently seated at the bar, drinking whatever the bartender had offered you. the guy had been hitting on you all evening, and you figured that free drinks couldn't hurt since your healing factor would keep you from getting drugged. you liked the attention anyway, your ex lover had disappeared on a random tuesday and never came back home. it had been four years since you had last seen him, you weren't mad at him anymore, but more at yourself for thinking a man could keep his promises. so some compliments were always welcomed.
you were watching people dance, the festive atmoshpere filling a void in your chest. whenever you felt alone you would go to a bar, or a pub just to feel something. in those places, time seemed to stop, you could be invisible. nobody cared about you or asked anything from you. sometimes you would dance with a random girl or guy and end up in their motel room just to sneak out the second they fell alseep. you were conscious that this lifestyle wasn't for everybody. in fact, you didn't enjoy it in the slightest. but you didn't have a choice. you didn't have any family anymore, and the only person that counted took off 4 years ago. you didn't work and your only hobby was drinking. you weren't living, but barely surviving. but with time you get used to it, right?
right as when you were about to get up to dance, someone sat next to you. too close for your liking. you turned your head and were met with a drunk looking guy, staring at you like you were some piece of meat. you gave him a look that meant "get the fuck out of here and leave me alone" but he didn't seem to want to comply.
"hello pretty girl, need some company?" he said, or at least that's what you understood. his breath hit your nose and you almost threw up; your heightened senses could really be a pain in the ass sometimes.
"go fuck yourself" you said, walking toward the back door. the guy following you.
"I think I'll need some help with that, my girl" he said, trying to catch up with you. you ignored him, or at least he thought so, and went through the back door, making sure he was still behind you. once you found yourself in a small alley, you grabbed him by the collar and pushed him brutally against the wall.
"I am not your girl" you threatened. the dickhead tried to answer but with your hands on his throat the task seemed more difficult than usual. you hated this petname, it reminded you of things you wanted to forget. you let go of him, letting him fall to the ground and kicked him in the stomach. that wasn't necessary but he deserved it.
you went back inside, planning on gathering your things and then finding a place to sleep. you folded your jacket on your arm and put your pack of cigarettes in your pocket. but as you turned toward the door, your heart stopped. a familiar face looking at you from the crowd. at first you thought you were hallucinating, the fucker was dead. you hoped he would be. it would hurt less. but when he started coming closer you scoffed.
you couldn't do it without a drink, so you sat back and asked for straight tequila. you missed this vanishing feeling the night procured you.
logan sat next to you and asked for a drink. you refused to look at him. you wanted to punch him in the face, alright maybe you were still a little mad at him. seeing him here, and so close to you made you mad. you wanted to kill and kiss him.
"I missed you" he said, looking afar. out of all the things he could have said you weren't expecting this. you scoffed and tightened your grip on your drink.
"shut your damn mouth" you gritted through your teeth, still holding onto your drink for dear life. you had imagined what it would be like to see him again and promised to yourself that you would tell him you moved on and leave him speechless. you never thought you still loved him so deeply. you hated how he made you feel, you hated feeling weak. but you loved everything else about him, and if feeling vulnerable was the price to pay to be with him then you wouldn't think twice about it.
"I didn't have a choice" he added, this made your blood boil. you knew he was telling the truth and you had already forgave him, you just needed to hear him say it. you didn't say anything, didn't ask about the reason of his departure. you kept your mouth shut, hoping he would take the hint and leave. no you didn't want him to leave, you wanted him to think that you wanted him to leave.
"I’m sorry” he muttered. this was your last straw, your glass broke between you fingers, shards of glass flying all over the counter and cutting into your hand. you jumped, startled at your own doing. logan reached for your hand immediately but you moved it away before he could even brush it.
"fuck you" was the last thing you said before running to the bathroom. your healing factor was already pushing the glass out of your flesh but it still hurt as hell.
“let me help you” you hadn’t even hear him coming in. you smiled, amused at the situation. you terribly wanted to give him your hand but your pride told you otherwise.
“why are you here?” you whispered, almost scared that if you spoke louder he would disappear.
“I told you, I miss you”.
“of course you do, that's why you came back so quickly” you said, washing the blood off your hand. “I just know you were bored to death without me" you joked, trying to ease the tension.
logan approached and slowly put his hands on your waist, your back facing him. he then delicately planted his chin on your shoulder. “I know you won’t believe me when I tell you I did this to protect you and that’s fair but I need you by my side, I need my girl” you swore you heard a sob in his voice. you looked up, staring at your reflection in the mirror, you could see logan’s head next to yours he was looking at you. this was the first time you’ve look into his eyes since he left. and they felt like home.
you turned around slowly, facing him. you hands claimed back their place on either side of his face. wiping his tears. seeing logan cry was rare, extremely rare. you felt your heart broke at the sight. he put his hands on yours and closed his eyes, enjoying how your touch felt like after so many years. nothing changed, not his love for you nor what he felt around you.
“let me take you home” he begged
“where?”
“doesn’t matter, home is whenever I’m with you”
you knew that your james was telling the truth, and you knew that you still loved each other.
"I need time, james" you answered, even if your mind was already made you had some self respect. you were about to say something else but logan beat you to it:
“I love you” he breathed.
you kissed him passionately, making up for all the lost kisses.
"I love you most"
you were still upset about what he did, but at the end of the day, you knew he did it for a good reason and that it hurt him maybe even more than it did you, and you certainly couldn’t imagine life without him.
you both cried into the kiss, silently promising to always be on each other's side.
"come on, let's get out of here"
212 notes · View notes
outermaybanks · 4 months
Note
i was thinking if mean!jj x kook!reader,
jj works for reader and she gets on his nerves but he kinda likes her and she teases him sometimes but little does he know she kinda likes him too
i LOVE mean JJ
a/n: soooo I loved this request so much that it kind of took on a mind of its own and became wayyyy too long, so this is part 1, part 2 coming soon after i proofread and edit. but also if this isn't quite what you were requesting PLS let me know I love this pairing and dynamic and would fully be willing to try again
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part two posted
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This summer was supposed to be your summer. Your dad had bought you your dream car, a whole new wardrobe, and your parent’s 15th anniversary fell in the middle of July, and this year you were promised the house to yourself for that week while your parents took a second honeymoon. 
But then, your dad hired none other than the infamous JJ Maybank to work for him this summer. 
Now, normally, you would have no problem with your dad hiring a Pogue to work around the house, both of JJ’s friends, Pope Heyward and John B Routledge had worked small jobs for him in the past, but JJ was practically your worst nightmare when it came to your plans. You had planned for this summer to be the best ever, to be the height of your social life, and now, the most big mouthed, impulsive, Kook-hating and downright rude Pogue to ever grace the OBX was working in your house five days a week.
So, you naturally came to one conclusion: You had to get JJ to quit before your parent’s trip in the middle of July.
June 10th
It started small, ignoring him when he was there, it was no secret that JJ hated Kooks, so you figured being as rude as he assumed you to be would be easiest. But honestly, it seemed like JJ liked that you ignored him, so you had to kick it up a bit. 
“Hey Pogue!” You called as you stepped out of your mansion, clad in only a bikini as you prepared to enjoy your pool. JJ released the gas on the lawn mower to make it stop as his jaw clenched and he put on his most tolerable face. “When you finish with the lawn, you need to change the oil in my car.”
“In case you didn’t get the memo, princess, I work for your dad, not you,” JJ called before reaching for the pull cord. You made your way down the steps and over to him just as he began tugging the cord, but you stood right in front of the mower, so JJ begrudgingly released the bar again.
“In case you didn’t get the memo, my daddy does anything I say. Daddy has fired workers for making my food wrong, so really, you work for me, princess. Got that?” You asked with a sickeningly sweet smile. JJ’s lower jaw stirred then clenched into a forced smile. “You got it, ma’am.” “That’s better, Maybank.”
You didn’t like being mean, and you didn’t like asserting power over others, that’s why you didn’t just follow through on your word and tell your dad to fire JJ. You knew he needed this job, and you didn’t want to close that window for him permanently, but this was a man who was known for getting into fights, especially with Kooks, a man who you already knew hated you, and now he was standing in the way of your summer plans. JJ being here meant half the Kooks you knew wouldn’t step foot on the property just to avoid drama, or avoid upsetting their boyfriends. You just needed your summer back. If you could just get JJ to quit for the summer, you’d have your daddy offer him more money to come back in the fall. Really, a win win for everybody.
You weren’t naive to the rumors around the island about JJ, and as you walked towards your lounge chair on the edge of the pool, you couldn’t help turn your head to catch a glimpse of JJ’s arms as he yanked the starter cord to resume mowing the back lawn. 
June 17th
A week had passed since that encounter, and JJ showed no signs of quitting. He was currently cleaning your pool as you were inside, in the cool AC, as your mom had the house chef make you lunch. The house chef liked to listen to noise while they worked, so from you sat at the island, sipping a pina colada, you heard the weatherman announce the heat wave that was currently plaguing the Outerbanks. Despite everything, you found yourself looking out the window to JJ, shirtless as he used the pool skimmer.
You groaned to yourself as you couldn’t bring yourself to cruelty. You went to the fridge and grabbed a cold water bottle before sliding the glass door open.
“Hey Maybank!” You called, making JJ look up. You held up the water bottle then gentle tossed it to him. JJ dropped the pool skimmer to catch it, and then inspected the water bottle before opening it. He gave it a test sniff, which make you giggle, before he took a sip.
“Thanks, Kook.” “Just y/n works, y’know. Unless you want to go back to calling me princess,” You joked, walking closer to him, your lips wrapping around the straw to sip your pina colada as JJ downed the water bottle. 
“Can I ask you something?” You asked suddenly, surprising yourself that you had actually spoken your thoughts aloud. “What?” JJ replied coldly, looking at you suspiciously. “Why did you start working for my dad? Everyone knows you hate Kooks, I figured that meant you’d want to stay as far away from them as possible.” “Well, firstly, don’t assume you know anything about me. Secondly- you’re right. I do hate Kooks. Your dad was offering more than anyone else, that’s all.” “Really? Extra money is all it takes to abandon your morals?” “See, that’s it right there. To you, it’s extra money. To me, it’s survival. All you damn Kooks wouldn’t know shit about struggling. But god forbid you don’t have a brand new dress to wear to your weekly Courtillion or some shit.”
“Cotillion,” You corrected. “Which is only for debuntants, which I am not.”
“What the fuck ever. The point is, you think you know real struggle, so when you see someone actually struggling, you don’t give a fuck, but the truth is you’ve never had a real problem. Rich people make up their own problems so they don’t get bored, and then act entitled to people who actually struggle, it’s fucking annoying,” JJ finished before picking the pool skimmer back up. His words felt like a slap in the face, but you took them to heart. That night, you went to your dad and told him he needed to pay JJ more. 
June 20th
“Chug, chug, chug!” The amalgamation of voices cheered on as Kelce and Topper shotgunned a beer. Since you couldn’t invite your friends to your house, you had gone over to your friend’s house for some fun, but then she got a text about a get together at the beach, so that’s where you found yourself. 
“Hey, y/n, what’s this I hear about JJ Maybank working for your dad or something?” A girl named Hannah asked. “Yeah, he started a few weeks before summer break,” You answered. “Ooooo,” The girl teased. “Has he been… putting the work in?” You rolled your eyes, a sick feeling forming in your stomach at her words. “That’s so- It’s not like that. I barely speak to him,” you answered, bringing your beer can to your lips, hoping that would end the conversation. “You’re better than me, girl. On the first day I would’ve jumped his bones.”
It disgusted you to hear Hannah reduce JJ down to his looks, to his sexual reputation. You couldn’t help but remember what JJ had said about all Kooks feeling entitled.  
“Actually, Hannah, he’s like, really cool, and smart, and… passionate about his hobbies. He’s not just a dick for you to jump on,” Honestly, you pulled all of that out of your ass, but you just couldn’t let her speak about JJ like he was a piece of meat.
Hannah laughed. “And you learned all of that by barely speaking to him? Yeah, sure, y/n, it’s okay, your secret is safe with me. I wouldn’t want everyone to know I was boning a Pogue either.” That was your limit. You quickly excused yourself, and when no one was looking, you left the beach.
Unfortunately, your friend had driven you, so you were stuck walking home. Whatever. You couldn’t stand to be there another moment.
JJ had been off that day as well, so he had spent the day with his friends, and they were currently on their way back to John B’s house. Just as JJ had put his blunt between his lips, about to spark it, his night was ruined.
“Hey, is that y/n y/l/n?” John B asked as he slowed down the Twinkie to get a better look.  “Yeah, yeah, it is,” Pope answered. “Stop the van.” “What? Why? She can walk just fine,” JJ argued. “It’s dark out and she’s walking alone,” John B answered. “So? She’ll be fine.”
“JJ.” John B scolded before pulling the van over beside you. You recognized John B’s van from when it was parked in your driveway when John B worked on your dad’s boat. “Hey, y/n, you alright?” John B asked after he rolled the window down. 
“I- Yeah, I just… my car ran out of… oil… so… walking.” Your lie pricked up JJ’s ears, as he had practically become your personal mechanic, he knew there was nothing wrong with your car because he had checked it before going home yesterday.
“Do you need a ride?” Pope asked from the passenger seat.
You couldn’t get JJ’s words out of your mind. Kooks create their own problems because they’re bored.
“No, no, really, I’m fine… Um, but my phone died, do you- um- Do you know how I would get home from here?” The beach you guys had gone to had been on the border of the Cut and Figure Eight, you had never ventured that far before. 
Of course she doesn’t even fucking know her way around, JJ thought. He argued with himself in his mind before leaning forward between John B and Pope. “Just get in, princess, we’ll get you home.”
It had shocked you to suddenly see JJ, although you suppose it shouldn’t have considering the three of them had been joined at the hip for as long as you’d known them. Before you could get  out a response, the van door slid open, and JJ was beckoning you inside. You stood there, frozen.
“y/n, c’mon, your dad would have my ass if he found out I left you out here alone, just get in.”
You slowly got inside the back of the van, JJ slammed the door shut as he leaned back on the bench. You noticed the unlit blunt between his fingers.
“Is that weed?” You asked. JJ sighed. “You caught me, princess, but I’m off the clock, I would never smoke while-” “Can I hit that?”
JJ was taken aback, and his first instinct was to get defensive, why the hell would he share his bud with a Kook? But he realized, if you took a hit, he’d have just as much dirt on you as you had on him, so he happily handed it over. You carefully put it between your lips then held your hand out for a lighter, but JJ would be damned if a Kook stole his favorite lighter, so he lit it for you. He was surprised by how naturally you inhaled the smoke, and how relaxed you looked as you exhaled. JJ then realized how little he actually knew about you, but then, he got angry with himself for thinking that.
“So what happened? Chad didn’t ask you to Cotillion?” JJ asked coldly, but you smiled to yourself because he said it right this time.  “I already told you I’m not a debutant, and who the fuck is Chad?” You couldn’t help but giggle as you took a second hit, then handed the blunt back to JJ.  “You know what I mean.” “Yeah, I do. That was your sneaky way of asking me what’s wrong,” you called him out.  “You wish,” JJ replied flatly before taking a hit. “Actually, since you asked, I didn’t like how a girl there was talking about you, so I left.” “I didn’t ask.” “Mmm kind of seems like you did.”
Pope chuckled from the front seat, taking your attention for a minute, and when you turned back to look at JJ, he seemed deep in thought.
“If I’m being honest, hearing her talk that way about you reminded me about what you said about Kooks the other day, and… I didn’t want to be around people who act like that.” “Huh. Didn’t think you Kooks listened to non-Kooks.” “Well, maybe you shouldn’t assume you know anything about me,” you threw his words back at him, making him raise an eyebrow at you.
After John B dropped you off, you charged your phone and had dozens of missed texts and calls from your friends, but you couldn’t care less. That night, all you could think about was JJ Maybank.
July 1st
After John B gave you a ride home, JJ ignored you even more. You had half a mind to throw away your plan, JJ’s words had haunted you and you didn’t want to be the type of person he described, but on the other hand, there was a part of you that had spent way too long trying to fit in, you couldn’t throw it away over one boy’s opinion, so you settled for a happy medium.
JJ’s bike was parked in the driveway, so you knew he was working today. You eventually spotted him in the back, working on your dad’s boat, so you mustered up your courage and boarded the boat, walking over to him with crossed arms. 
“Maybank,” You greeted. “Y/L/N,” JJ mimicked, keeping his eyes on the tools in his hand. “I’ve come to you with a deal.” “Oh yeah? And what would that deal be?” “You can’t be here at all for the week that my dad’s gone. I’ll tell him you came, you’ll still get paid, just don’t actually come.” “Am I supposed to believe that you’ll be doing all my work during that week?” “I- Fuck it, fine, yeah, I’ll do your job for the week.”
This took JJ by surprise. No Kook ever was willing to get their hands dirty.
“Why do you need me gone for that week?” “Because I’m throwing a party,” JJ was already laughing. “I’m serious, I’m throwing a party, and half my girlfriends can’t come because their boyfriends don’t want them around you.” “Smart guys,” JJ retorted, making you cringe. “Whatever. Do we have a deal?” “Like I’d want to be here anyway.”
You smiled, this was the best of both worlds, truly the best case scenario, and in your happiness you wrapped your arms around JJ’s shoulders, but he pulled away, tensed up, and then it hit you. You had grown comfortable with him, and that was your mistake. It didn’t matter that you gave him water, it didn’t matter that him and his friends had been your heroes, JJ Maybank hated Kooks. 
July 4th
“Sweetheart!” Your dad called from his office, you quickly made your way down the hall and leaned against the doorframe. You were already dressed for your family’s annual barbeque, which had become a big even on Figure Eight. 
“What’s up, dad?”  “Can you tell JJ he can go home early today after he cleans the pool?” You nodded and went downstairs to the backyard, once again finding JJ shirtless as he cleaned the pool.
“If you’re trying to get my mom to leave my dad for you, this whole thing won’t work, she prefers construction workers,” You said as you shut the door behind you, JJ looked up at you, but the only response was a confused face. “You know, the whole- hot shirtless pool cleaner has an affair with the lady of the house, that whole trope.”
A smile slowly crept on JJ’s lips, but then it turned into a smirk. “Did you just call me hot, y/n?” You quickly realized your mistake. “You know what I mean.” “Yeah, that was your sneaky way of flirting with me.��
Normally, you would’ve denied it, but this was the nicest JJ had ever been to you, which wasn’t saying much, but you liked it more than his constant ignoring you.
“So, my dad told me to come out here to tell you you can leave after you clean the pool,” you said. “Sounds good to me.”
That should’ve been your cue to go back inside, but instead you stood there, biting your lip as you internally argued with yourself.
“Do you have any plans for today?” JJ’s eyes came up to glance at you, almost suspiciously, “Uh, probably light a bunch of shit on fire.” “Well, my family has this like annual barbeque-” “Yeah, I know. Kie’s stuck going.” “Well… I just wanted to say if-if you wanted to stop by, a lot of my dad’s employees usually come.” “Thought you wanted to keep me far away from all your Kook friends, isn’t that our little deal?” JJ said, and in a panic you walked closer to him, trying to shush him so your dad didn’t hear. “That’s just for that party, and I wouldn’t even care about you being there if you didn’t start a fight with basically every Kook you meet.” “Who says I started it?”
That shocked you. Hearing your friend's stories, it had never occurred to you that they always omitted how the fight started, only how it had ended.
“Regardless, I just wanted to say if you wanted to stop by… it might be cool.” “Might be cool?” “God, do you always make it this hard for people to talk to you? Yes, JJ, it might be cool. It’s a barbeque, not a cult initiation.”  JJ chuckled. “Okay… Maybe I’ll come by. You might want to hide your mom though, I look good in a construction vest.” You smiled then bit down on your lip to hide it. “Okay. Maybe I’ll see you.”
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outsideratheart · 8 months
Text
Time Has No Concept (Ingrid Engen x reader)
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It may not have officially been winter but that didn’t stop the -5 degrees feel any warmer. You always said you liked the cold weather or at least you weren’t bothered by it. Today was a true test of that. 
Walking out for the pitch inspection you only have one thing on your mind or more specifically one person. 
“It hasn’t even been a week” Keira tries to tease you but fails because you don’t bite. 
“I don’t care. I spend every day with her in Barcelona so when we’re apart a day is like a week.” 
It was true. It didn’t take much for you to miss Ingrid. You moved to Barcelona after the euros and quickly became friends with Ingrid. It stayed like that way until you won the Champions league. It was a night to be remember for more reason than one. 
Lucy and Keira agreed to go with you to Ingrid as she was with Caro and Ada. 
“Tell me why you, a Norwegian native, are wearing more layers than me?” 
“Because I’m not a human heater” Ingrid opens your arms and makes herself comfy. 
“Hello my love” you look down at her, fully disregarding the company around you. 
“Are you nervous?” Ingrid asks as she sees a crack in your confident persona. 
On game days you were serious, locked in and there was little anybody could do to steer you from this mindset. Ingrid however had the unexplainable ability to see through it and as she stands on the pitch in your arms she sees her girlfriend, not the England captain.
“About the game, of course not” you wink playfully “about what comes after, a little bit. I just want to make a good impression”
“Pull back your shots and maybe you will”
Ingrid knew you would never do as she asked so isn’t surprised when she gets a scoff as her reply. The two of you stay together in each others arms for a few more minutes as you involve yourselves in the conversation between Lucy and Ada. 
It was very well known that you hated wearing base layers but it was advised to put one on gor the game given that it might snow was forecast. That didn’t stop you from removing the thermal layer within the first ten minutes when you saw their goalkeeper go down. At half time most of them put a second base layer on and an extra pair of gloves whereas you opted for a cup of tea instead.
The post match team huddle was one of the quickest in team history and the lap around the pitch that followed matched it. Only one or two England players remained on the pitch to thank the fans, you were one of them. Once the last photo was taken your attention shifted to a different kind of fan.
There she stood talking animatedly with two people who you recognised from the time Ingrid FaceTimed home whilst staying at your apartment.
“Y/N!” The younger boy, Ingrid’s nephew you think, shouts.
“Look at you” Ingrid cannot believe you are standing next to her in the now -8 degrees, maybe even colder, in only shorts and a shirt. No base layers, no gloves, no coat “You’re going to get a cold”
“You forget that I don’t get sick, it’s my superpower. Besides, I’ll have you to keep me warm” you are millimetres away from kissing her when you are interrupted.
“Y/N, please can I have your shirt?” 
“No”
“Yes”
Much to Ingrid’s dismay you give her nephew your shirt. He takes his coat off and quickly puts your shirt on over Ingrid’s. The smile on his face rivals the Cheshire cat’s and you whisper in your girlfriend’s ear that the look on his face makes it worth it. 
Ingrid holds her jacket open and pulls you close as you chat away to her brother about the game, happy with the fact that the two of you get along well and that you will have a familiar face when you meet everybody else a little bit later. It is only when she feels you shivering against her does she politely end the conversation so that you can go inside the stadium.
“Shower, please. No ice baths. We can go on a recovery walk tomorrow” your girlfriend knew your post match routine well at this point but prayed that tonight you would stray without any arguments. 
“Yes ma’am” you salute her before doing as your told. 
Almost two hours later you were pulling up to Ingrid’s parents house. Ingrid seemed confident that her family would like you. The way she grabbed your hand and led you into her childhood home did ease the nerves building inside you. 
Luckily for you, Ingrid’s nephew is the first to see you and pulls you over to show you his Legos. You can’t believe that you are using a child as a shield against her family. 
The protection doesn’t last long because your girlfriend soon calls you over to her parents. You had practiced this speech plenty of times in the mirror. 
Mr and Mrs Engen, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Y/N Y/L/N. 
Yet when you get within a meters distance of them you freeze. These are two of the most important people in your girlfriend’s life and making a good impression on them is a must. 
They stare at you for what feels like an eternity and you can also feel Ingrid’s eyes on you too. Another thing you notice in the corner of your eye is the smirk that is tugging at her lips. 
“You were right. In person she isn’t anything like she is on the pitch” her father says. 
Still you are frozen. Do you slip the player switch on and play the confidence card? No, that might be too much and they’d know it’s an act. 
“Hyggelig å møte deg” you hold your hand out for both her father and her mother. 
Their eyes widen and you don’t know if it’s in shock or horror. Your girlfriend’s silence didn’t help either. 
“I said nice to meet you, right?” 
Ingrid leans in and kisses your check. 
“Elskling, it was perfect” Ingrid compliments you. 
“She is right. The pronunciation was very good” 
“Ingrid didn’t say you knew Norwegian” her father adds. 
“Our team mate Caroline has been teaching me after training” 
Ingrid knew you had been having lessons with Caro, you had told her that much. She just assumed it was Spanish because of how quickly you picked up the native language of your new club. Never in a million years did she think you’d be learning her language. 
The four of you talk for a little while. You get to know Ingrid’s parents and they ask all sorts of questions. They are mainly football and life in Barcelona related. You don’t get the hurt my daughter and I’ll kill you speech but you suspect they are waiting until you’re alone for that. 
After the introductions you retake your place on the floor with Ingrid’s nephew. His company you found a lot less intimidating. Her parent’s are sat on the sofa behind you watching the tv with some of Ingrid’s other relatives but you aren’t bothered by their presence. 
“Y/N” Ingrid shouts from the kitchen where she is helping her brother with the food. 
“Yes, my love” you reply. 
Ingrid’s parents share a look that you don’t see. Was the nickname you had given their daughter part of your English charm or were you really in love with her. 
“So you love our daughter?” Ingrid’s father asks rather boldly. 
“Pappa!” Ingrid comes to your rescue just in time. 
The three important words had not been said but the feeling was there. 
“I do” when you stand to your feet you feel betrayed by your body and mouth. 
“You do?” Ingrid face is the picture of shocked. 
“I do” you whisper softly “I think I’ve know for a while. Everything was made clear in the summer. I was heartbroken but you took me in your arms and held me until I was whole again” 
There it was. The admission that you, for some unknown reason, had been scared to make. 
Ingrid didn’t care that her family was surrounding her. She kissed you with the same passion as the kisses you share at home. It may not be an intense kiss but it is enough to convey her feelings. 
“I love you, I really do” 
What comes over you, you have no idea but you lean back in for another kiss, a peck. The public display of affection does earn a fake gagging sound by her brother before he announces dinner is ready and served. You do have to hold back a laugh when he goes the extra lengths to let everyone know he did it without his sister’s help. 
Later that night you get another hot shower to warm you up. Maybe your girlfriend was right about you getting sick. 
The two of you lay in Ingrid’s teenage room. 
“Did you really mean what you said earlier?” Your girlfriend asks you. 
“What did I say earlier?” 
Hearing this Ingrid sits up and slaps you on the chest. The impact send you into a coughing fit. 
“Don’t play with me. Also, you’re getting sick. Take these” 
You are handed two tablets which you take happily despite your stubbornness. 
“I meant it but I thought it was too soon and I didn’t want to scare you away. How was I suppose to tell you I love you after only being dating for a month, in fact we weren’t even dating, not officially” 
“You knew after a month?” 
“You think it’s too much. You see, this is why I didn’t want to tell you”
Your brain went into overdrive as you began overthinking your decision. 
“It’s not too much Y/N. I met you a year ago yet I feel like I’ve known you a lot longer. I would shock myself at how easy I would open up to you. When it comes to you it’s like time has no concept”
Nobody has ever spoken about you in that way. You were never anyone’s person until you met Ingrid.
“Jeg elsker deg” Ingrid pecks you on the lips “Jeg elsker deg” 
When you fall asleep that night you do so with a huge smile on your face and a sense of calmness that you very rarely feel. 
The next morning Ingrid wakes up to the sound of you coughing, or more accurately barking, in the bathroom. 
“I’m sick” you admit when you see Ingrid standing behind you in the mirror. 
“Come on I’ll make you some broth that will have you feeling good as new in no time” 
“You don’t have to. I’ve taken some more medicine, I’m ok” 
“I know I don’t have to. I want to and it’s what I do for the people I love”
631 notes · View notes
iamasimperyk · 7 months
Text
Professor's Pet
Warnings: Smut, Cursing, Taboo topic, English is not my first language
Summary: You have a crush on your professor
Pairing: Professor!Rafe x Student!Reader
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You knew it was wrong, however, you couldn't help but fall for your professor.
Rafe Cameron. The hot professor every girl on campus had a crush on. You promised yourself you would not be one of those girls, save to say you failed miserably.
Another thing you promised yourself was to never fall for a married man. Fuck. He even had a child.
All the time you reminded yourself that it was nothing but a silly little crush. He had a family, and you were barely twenty.
Still, every lecture got harder and harder for you. He just looked so fine and the way he had with words—it was just too much for you.
"Alright, students, see you next Monday." Rafe smiled, finishing his lesson.
People slowly started leaving, leaving, and you took a big breath before you approached your professor.
"Mr. Cameron? Could I talk to you for a minute?" You asked, feeling how your knees had already gotten weaker.
His smile fell a little, but he nodded regardless, "Of course, Ms. Y/l/n."
"The essay from a week ago, I think you made a mistake with my mark." You said in the friendliest way possible.
"No, I don't think so. The grammar of your essay was rather weak, and I didn't really appreciate the way you chose to write about the topic. The task was to write nothing but information and nothing about your personal opinion." He told you, packing his stuff in the meantime.
"All my other professors never had something against my grammar or my use of words?" You said in confusion.
"Well, Ms. Y/l/n, I suggest you focus on your writing. I am not quite interested in hearing your little excuses." He said with a strict voice before he walked out of the room
You stood there stunned. He never had something against your writing, and he never acted so annoyed and cold toward his students.
Tears swelled up in your eyes, and you quickly left the room, wanting nothing more than to cry in your bed.
You felt like shit. Rafe Cameron couldn't know about the crush you had on him since you never told anyone, and you also tried your best not to make it too obvious—not like the other girls. Maybe he had just a bad day, or maybe, he was really not fond of your essay.
------
A few weeks later, nothing had changed. You saw how friendly your professor acted toward other students, but when you tried to ask a question, he just acted differently. Fuck, he even ignored you every time you raised your hand in one of his lectures.
At this point, you should have accepted the fact that he hated you. But you couldn't.
You stood in front of his office and knocked on the black wooden door.
After a few seconds, it opened, " Oh, you must be one of my husband's students."
There she was, Rafe Cameron's wife. She was beautiful, and she seemed to be nice.
"Y-yeah, I just wanted to ask something about the lecture today, but I will just send him an e-mail." You mumbled with a small smile before you turned around to leave.
After you heard how the door closed, there was screaming.
------
The next day, after everybody left the room, Rafe Cameron asked to talk to you for a moment.
"Ms. Y/l/n, I am sure you had a good reason for coming to my office yesterday, but I would appreciate it if you don't bother me in my free time." He said in a cold tone.
You couldn't take it anymore. It was not a crime to ask a professor a question outside of lectures.
"Mr. Cameron, I tried my best not to say anything, but I can't take it anymore. I was polite to you and handed in every assignment you gave. And you? You gave me bad marks, and everything I do is bad in your opinion," You raised your voice, but he just stared at you coldly.
"What have I done wrong? Just tell me so I can change-" You went on, before he interrupted you," You are the problem. Everything about you is the problem."
You looked at him confused, "What do you mean, Mr. Cameron?"
"Fuck, I mean look at you. The way you look, the way you dress, the way you swing your hips when you walk out of the room, the way you bite down your lip when you're thinking. I can't think about you this way. I am your professor, and you are my student." He told you, pacing around the room.
Your professor, who was also your secret crush, liked you. He liked you in the same way you liked him. But what now?
"I- I don't know what to say now." You muttered and looked away, biting down your lip.
Rafe looked at you, taking a big step forward, and put his hands on your cheeks, "Just one, please."
You looked at him innocently and gave him a small nod. That was all it took before he leaned down and pressed his lips against yours.
You kissed him back, your tongues dancing around in each other's mouths.
"Please," You let out a desperate moan, and Rafe quickly picked you up before he placed you on his desk.
He took one of his hands away from your butt and brought it down to lift the hem of your black skirt. Slipping it inside your panties and pushing a finger inside your tight, now wet folds.
One of his hands still squeezed your ass as you moaned into his mouth. He broke the kiss, his eyes staring into yours, full of lust, "Who would have thought that you are such a slut for your professor?"
He started to work a second finger inside your tight cunt. Your clit grinding against his palm.
"So desperate, my little whore." He picked up the pace, pumping his fingers in and out of your aching pussy.
All you could do was moan and whimper. You were about to cum before you felt him retract his fingers.
You let out a sound of disappointment, which he returned with one of his famous smirks. He unbuckled his belt and pulled out his cock. He rubbed it against your dripping wet slit before he buried it inside your little cunt.
"Mr. Cameron," You let out a moan that was muffled by another hard kiss.
He started to thrust his hips. Your little pussy clamping around his hard thick cock as he fucked you on his desk.
You wrapped your legs around his waist as your bodies rocked together.
"Is this what you wanted?" He asked, and all you could do was cry out a small 'Yes, sir'.
He kissed you hungrily, and you could feel yourself nearly at the edge. "Cum with me. Show me what a little slut like you looks like when she cums hard all over her professor's cock." He moaned into your mouth.
You threw your head back as your pussy spasmed. Your hips bucked against him as his orgasm washed over him as well, riding out your orgasms together.
He looked into your eyes again, "You did so good for me, princess. Come on, let's clean you up."
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another-goblin · 3 months
Text
I've seen a lot of interesting opinions about Dr. Ratio. Some of them I disagree with. So I decided to compile a little list of why I disagree with them. The first part will be about things that seem factually incorrect, and the second part is about things that are rather a matter of interpretation and context.
As always, I might be wrong, so feel free to correct me.
1. Things that seem factually incorrect. 
"Ratio is an egoist and does everything for attention and recognition" - I don't remember him ever saying or doing anything that would indicate that. He saved these researchers secretly and made our TB take all the credit. He later even calls himself a "supporting character". He gets angry if we ask him for an autograph.
"He doesn't care about people" - yes, if you skipped his passionate speech to Screwllum about how much he cares about people. But also, everything he does in the game is helping people (saving these researchers on Herta station, offering us his help later in the express dialogues and messages - offering us to enroll in university, participate in devates, turn the express into a weapon, later helping Aventurine with his plan, helping him to find information, and so on).
"He hasn't achieved anything in science" - the list of his scientific achievements is easily available, I wouldn't say it's nothing. But I'll also leave this here:
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Even his dedicated hater disagrees with this.
"Ratio's note did nothing to convince Aventurine to stay alive, it was all Acheron" - from how I see it, he was fully determined to end his life up until he read that note. Otherwise, why would they introduce the note at all? Why did Acheron feel the need to remind him of it?
"He never wanted to draw the gaze of Nous" and "He still wants it" - we can deduce that it isn't true from different parts of the game (he actually wanted it in the past but doesn't anymore), but that is a direct confirmation:
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(I trust Screwllum's opinion.)
"Everybody hates him in-universe" - this is interesting because I even heard this from his fans. And it might sort of feel intuitive, but I don't remember any evidence of that. He literally has an in-universe fan club. People who knew him closely talk about him warmly in his character stories. The only person I remember ever expressing any negativity towards him was some shcolar in the Simulatred Universe, but I don't think it counts. I'll talk more about his students in particular later, but short version: I don't think they hate him either.
"I hate it when he tells me 'Zero points, get out' and throws chalk at me, that's mean" - that's so weirdly specific, but I've seen it a dozen times already. And, like, why??? He tells it to his enemies, not to us. I mean, nobody's angry at Serval for electrocuting her fans with her guitar just because that's what she does in her fighting animation.
Speaking of combat voice lines, if we wait too long, most characters get irritated and try to hurry us up. Meanwhile Ratio:
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'That's okay, take your time, it's a turn-based game after all.'
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"He's physically abusive to his students, he throws chalk at them" - similar to the previous point. I don't remember any mention of him doing that. The only case of him using physical force against a (potential) student was when, as a TA, he threw away a rich asshole who tried to buy a degree. And yes, in the boring real world, I wouldn't approve of that, but in the world of the game - well done, good ridance!
"He doesn't tolerate people disagreeing with him, he thinks he's always right"
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"He's responsible for the crisis at Herta Station" - how though? I saw this opinion several times, and I'm really curious what people mean by that. Did he himself endanger these researchers by teleporting them who knows where, then faked the video from Duke Inferno, and so on? But why stop here while we're at it , maybe he also impersonated Ruan Mei, left the bug on the station, abandoned the poor cat-creatrures and drugged us with a cake?…
"He's worse than Dottore from Genshin" - technically it's a matter of opinion, but I think nobody will mind if I put it in the 'just wrong' category. But yeah, that's an opinion I've heard. I've got no idea what they meant, but it made me think, how many people did he help and save, both in the game and in his past? Probably more than most of the characters we've met so far. And he doesn't seem to discriminate, it's not 'I'll save my people'. He cured that disease for everybody's benefit, he saved Herta's researchers, he helped TB unravel the events on the station and then proceeded to pester them offering his help, he cosideres some troubled IPC executive 'his responsibility' and so on.
"He actually betrayed Aventurine" - no comments. Come on, play the game, read the dialogues.
1.5. A little intermission.
The thing that's hard to deny is that he definitely doesn't mince his words. Whether you see it as him being a rude asshole, being justifiably angry, brutally honest, sarcastic, or snarky, or showing tough love, or just being incapable of expressing himself in an adequate and socially acceptable way, it's up to you. I can understand how some people might be uncomfortable with that. I personally find it an interesting character trait. (I mean, he isn't even capable of expressing positive feelings in a normal way, what did you expect of him?):
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There is also a very interesting (but rather confusing) thing that can be missed if you are unwilling to see further than the initial shallow impression, but it is impossible to unsee once you've noticed it. He sees himself as a teacher in two very different ways. It can be missed at first because both ways are described in very similar words. These ways are: 
a teacher in a traditional sense (let's call it 'academic teacher'); 
and as something akin to a 'life coach', just helping people and making them realize that they shloud (and can) rely on themselves.
The thing is, we never see him in his 'academic teacher' role. As far as we know, he only acts this way with his university students. We never see him teaching anybody any scientific stuff, or berating people for their lack of knowledge and education. Yet he says that he considers everybody his students. But what does he mean if it's not about knowledge? He means it in the second 'life coach' meaning. Therefore, he sees literally everybody as worthy of his help and support.
BTW, I feel like his main problem as a character is that people tend to settle on the first impression they get of him and are unwilling to see further than that. Meanwhile, the game continues to explore his personality, revealing that most things about him are actually the opposite of what they might seem at first. That's why so many people think that he calls everybody idiots for being less smart than him, that he's egoistic and unfeeling, that he values knowledge above all, and so on. So if you actually have interest in him as a character, I'd encourage you to look at him more closely.
2. Now to the things that are more open to interpretation.
"He uses mean words" -to be honest, I'm not a big fan of writers making him use these words (idiots, fools, stupidity, and so on) because, first, they are usually used as just empty insults. (I'm curious whether he uses similar words in Chinese or something more nuanced). So I can understand how it can put some people off. And the second problem is that it feels like he means different things every time he uses these words. It's quite confusing. Here is a post where people helped me find different cases of him using these words; you can check it out yourself.
Let's look closer at some of these cases: 
-'While geniuses wander among the stars, the ordinary can't even trace their footsteps. Those less gifted have no choice but to walk alone, enduring a lifetime of tumbles and triumphs. But even a life marked by failure is a life worth living — it is only in moments of solitude and despair, when help is absent, that fools grasp how to pick themselves up' He seems to contrast geniuses with fools here, so fools are everybody who's not a genius. So if you are inclined to see him this way, if you squint, you can technically see it as him insulting people based on their intellectual abilities, right?… Except, he includes himself among these fools, so no:
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So it's basically 'all who are not geniuses are fools, including me'. Which is an interesting way to put it, but it definitely doesn't mean ''you are all fools for not being as smart as me''.
But he mostly uses these words when he talks about his fellow scholars:
-'First, with the headpiece on, isolated from my five senses, I can think without interference. And second, I don't have to set eyes on stupid people' - we only see him wearing the plaster head on Herta's Station, a place full of the most brilliant minds in the universe. We never see him using it again with normal people, so the word 'stupid' here can't be about people's intelligence.
There is also an interesting little detail:
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He admires her intelligence (although in a sarcastic manner) in his 'about Herta' voiceline. He doesn't wear his 'anti-stupid' mask when he's with TB or Aventurine, but he always wears it with Herta. Which is very telling, and indicates again what he means by 'stupid'.
Some other examples:
-'(…)the fools from the Guild with ambitions beyond stars should be banished from my sight and thereby mind' -'Don't invert priorities like these dolts from the guild' -'I cannot stand fools, idiots, or imbeciles. Seeing them fills me with dread. Regrettably, this space station is just like the Intelligentsia Guild — devoid of geniuses and filled with mediocrity' -'Ah, the Technology Department. Charming little place, isn't it? Madam Yabuli does possess some semblance of competence, but her subordinates? Oh, they're a riot — brimming with enthusiasm yet utterly devoid of intellect. It's as if evolution halted prematurely for them'
He is absolutely RUTHLESS when he talks about scientists, because he expects a lot from them.
So no, I don't think he'd call you an idiot for not being an A student, or having learning difficulties, or just lacking an interest in learning. He absolutely would though if you were a brilliant scientist, priveledged with great education, resources, and a personal lab, squandering your talents and funds on a useless vanity project, or hoarding potentially life-saving knowledge for yourself, to use as a commodity.
"But he does call people idiots!" - I've noticed that most of the time he uses these 'insults' he talks about some groups of people.
I could only think of 3 times when he called an individual an idiot. He calls Aventurine an idiot because he 'lost' the stones (but it doesn't count because he plays a role and pretends that he hates Aven). A scholar in an event in SU complains of Ratio calling him an idiot (I'm not sure it actually happened, it's just a story in SU).
But there is one case of him calling somebody an idiot and actually meaning it. And who is this poor victim of his terrible verbal abuse? It's himself. Whoops. (speaking of how he's supposedly full of himself and thinks that he's better than the others.)
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"He would call me an idiot because of my supposed lack of knowledge/education/intelligence" - I showed in the previous point why I think he wouldn't (he never seems to use these words to mean that).
But also consider this. During his interactions with Aventurine on Penacony Ratio mostly plays a role for Sunday, pretending that he despises Aventurine. That's why we can't draw any conclusions about his personality from most of their dialogues. But the moments when he breaks the role are extremely telling.
Let's look at one of them from the beginning. They argue; Ratio calls Aventurine an idiot for 'ruining their plan'. And then Aventurine mentions that he didn't go to school and lacks formal education. If there ever was a good time to call someone an idiot for being uneducated, that's it! That's what Sunday expects to hear (because his plan hinges on Ratio valuing knowledge above all else).
And what does he do? He fucking apologizes! Even for the role and for the sake of their plan, he can't bring himself to insult someone for being uneducated.
"He's mean to TB" - it's a matter of interpretation, but his behavior with us didn't strike me as mean or demeaning. He was just being sarcastic and snarky as always (and I understand that it's not everybody's cup of tea).
The situation was time-sensitive and precarious. We don't know how much control he had over it. He tried to make us realize what's going on as fast as possible, pretending that he himself is clueless. Because his goal was to show the recearchers that despite the presence of 2-3 geniuses on board, none of them were able to save them. If he just publicly saved everybody, it would be just another genius appearing out of nowhere and saving the day, which would go against his goals and his philosophy.
And later, our TB seems to regard him with a mix of respect and amusement (calling him Professor, asking for an autograph), no resentment here. So TB didn't think he was mean either.
"He values knowledge above all, he's obsessed with teaching people stuff, and he doesn't understand/accept that other people might have other priorities" - I'd argue that literally the opposite is true. He doesn't impose his knowledge on anybody against their will, and we never see him berate anybody for their lack of knowledge or education.
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Sunday isn't the first person to misunderstand him that badly, and he's not having it. Even though at this point in the story, his and Aventurine's plan hinges on Sunday's misunderstanding. But I think his position is very clear: pursuit of knowledge above all is a matter of petty pride.
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He says it when we ask him why he doesn't nag us about getting our act together, before a party. So basically "if learning makes you feel bad (doesn't enhance your living) then you are doing it wrong, go and have fun".
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This probably isn't considered canon, but it illustrates how he sees knowledge. Here is an analogy. If I had an apple orchard, and I thought my apples were awesome and they'd make a great gift, and you should feel free to ask me if you want some. It doesn't mean that I shove my apples into people's mouths against their will and then call them idiots and spit on them when they don't like it.
"He's a bad person because he didn't help us fight the big bug" - he knew who we are. It's not in his habit to directly involve himself where he's not needed, it would go against his philosophy ('you should count on yourself; you can do it'). It's not like he left us to die; he must have known how capable our TB is. BTW, he was still looking after us, seemingly ready to come to our help:
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Besides, currently nothing indicates that (outside of the turn-based gameplay) he's anything more than a normal human being. He would be a hindrance in a fight. 
"He's a bad teacher" - (first, here is an interesting post about this from the point of view of an actual teacher)
So yeah, it's about the 3% passing rate. Yes, it can mean that only 3% of his students end up learning something. It's possible that he's such a bumbling idiot of a teacher that he doesn't even understand how bad he is. It's possible that he's somehow still allowed to teach despite being THAT bad.
But I think it's much more possible (and consistent with his philosophy) that he just has very high standards. A 3% rate doesn't mean that only 3% know anything. Students might benefit enormously from his classes, even without passing. They still have all their valuable skills and knowledge.
But also, let's not forget that he doesn't teach children. He teaches at the university. And I don't think it's some 101 basics; it's likely something related to his research and discoveries, some extremely advanced cutting-edge stuff. So his students are already extremely well educated adults, who want to achieve more. He would probably see lowering his standards as a betrayal of his students.
"His students hate him" - I didn't get that impression. On the contrary, they seem quite interested in him (some times in really creepy ways):
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The only indication that they might have something against him is this:
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It's either a literal roll-call of actual adults who shed literal tears during his classes, or it's just students being their normal cheeky selves, being overdramatic about a strict teacher. 
An example that came to mind: I can whine about how ruthless my gym trainer is and how I couldn't walk for a week after the last leg day. And his other clients would agree. But everybody understands that it's an expression of approval, not contempt. And maybe a bit of a humble brag.
Besides, if we decide to take that post at face value, then we'll have to take this literally too, meaning that his students consider him an actual God. And I don't think it's true:
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-------------------
There are still a lot of hot takes I disagree with that I haven't mentioned, but I'm too tired. This took WAY too long. Other cases are mostly quote-mining and deliberatly taking what he says out of context, which isn't very interesting to argue against (just read the full dialogue and consider the context). And also different variations on 'he's an asshole, he hates people, he thinks he's better than others, he'd call you an idiot for this or that, he's elitist, he only values knowledge and intelligence' and so on, but I think I addressed it sufficiently.
So yeah, that was my little character research. This wasn't written for his haters (I dislike some characters myself, and I wouldn't probably read 3K words about how I should change my mind). It was rather for the people who kind of like him, but who feel sad thinking how he'd probably call them idiots or something. I hope I was able to help you see him in a different way. He wouldn't call you an idiot, he'd support you.
357 notes · View notes
morlao · 9 months
Text
Breaking your own
rules
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▪︎Isaac Garcia x fem!reader
▪︎Y/N Howard, Jackie's younger sister
Things have always been tough for you. As the youngest Howard girl you were constantly compared to your older sisters Lucy and Jackie.
Lucy the popular sunshine that everybody loved and Jackie the perfect girl who already had her plans for the future figured out and worked very hard to reach them.
Don't get me wrong, you loved your sisters with all your heart but sometimes you wished that they - especially Jackie - wouldn't set the bar so high. You were always only "Jackie's sister". Even your teachers referred to you that way.
Since the accident it had gotten so much worse. While it was obvious that you were breaking apart, Jackie had much more self control. While she studied even harder, you could barely concentrate.
When you heard the message that you and Jackie had to move to Colorado to the Walter family, you couldn't deny that you felt relieved.
Starting a new life with the Walters also meant leaving this comparism behind. Or at least most of it. You could start over new. No teachers who acted like your way of grieving was wrong and no uncle who told you what your parents would have wanted you to be.
~ ~ ~
You immediately liked Katherine and George when you first saw them as they picked you up from the airport. They made you feel so welcome. One could only hope that the boys were just as nice as they were.
Well... they weren't. At least not all of them.
You hadn't even entered the house when you heard someone shout. "Watch out!" You could just jump out of the way when a boy with a skateboard zoomed by.
"That's Lee." George explained.
Right after him chased a little boy, almost bumping into Jackie.
"Be careful, Benny!", George shouted but you were pretty sure the boy didn't hear him - and if he did, then he didn't care.
George led you into the living room where two boys were sitting on the sofa playing video games.
"Boys, that are Jackie and Y/N Howard. Girls, that are Alex and Isaac."
The boys greeted you both with a smile. The way Alex looked at Jackie made you grin widely. Seemed like this could become interesting.
Meanwhile your attention was on Isaac and for a couple of seconds your eyes met. He looked very handsome with his dark hair and his laid-back look.
Isaac grinned and raised his eyebrow and quickly you looked away. You didn't want him to think that you fancied him. Because you didn't. You were not looking for a flirt or even a relationship. You just wanted to forget about the accident and start over new.
George smiled. "Okay, let's continue the tour." He showed you the kitchen, where you met Will, Nathan and Danny and the living room where Parker was playing Hockey.
Wow, you didn't expect so many of them. It would definitely take you some time to remember all the names.
At last he lead you in the garden to the pool and to a smaller boy with a camera. A blonde guy was just getting out of the water, grinning as he saw you and your sister. He put on a total show, acting like he was the best looking guy in the whole universe.
You hated guys like him. Way too self-centered and way too arrogant. Unfortunately you noticed the way Jackie looked at him. She tried to hide it but she was clearly faszinated by him.
"Come on, Cole! Don't be such a show-off!", Nathan said, rolling his eyes.
Living here could definitely turn out to be exciting.
~ ~ ~
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A few days later you woke up to laughter and Jackie's screams.
The door flew open and she stormed in, covered in a towel. "I can't believe it! I can't believe they did this!" She walked over to the mirror and looked at her hair totally in panic.
Still very sleepy you rubbed your eyes and got out of bed. "Did what? What are you talking about?"
"They put bleaching in the shampoo!" She was close to tears. Her hair had now quite a lot of blonde strands that looked like somebody had drawn them with a paint brush. In other words, it looked horrible.
However, Jackie still wanted to go to school. Perfectly ambitious as always. She managed to take George's Baseball Cap and hid her hair with it, it didn't really match her style but better than nothing.
When you came home from school you walked right into a very angry Katherine and a bunch of boys who looked absolutely pissed.
"What's up?", you asked curiously, almost regretting it as Isaac sent you a deathly glare.
Lee lowered his voice. "Your sister is a sneak. She told Katherine what happened today."
Jackie, why... you sighed heavily before running up the stairs to your room. You couldn't believe that she told Katherine. You stormed into your room and walked straight up to her desk where she was sitting and doing her homework. "Why did you do that? You know that you just ruined your chance to be accepted by them, don't you?"
Jackie frowned, clearly not agreeing with you. "What else should I have done? Just accept it and act like it didn't happen?"
You shook your head, grinning. "No way, let's give them a taste of their own medicine. Let's see if they go to school with... let's say... pink hair."
You spent the next two days preparing everything for your revenge.
Jackie was not really helpful, in fact she seemed like she wanted to stop you. "Please, Y/N, don't do it. They were grounded, I think that's enough."
"Fuck no!" You had a plan and you were going to go through with it.
While the others were having their dinner you sneaked into the boys rooms and put hair dye in their shampoo. Lee, Isaac, Cole, you got them all.
No wonder that the next day you were woken again by screams and laughter. Excited you kicked off your blanket and jumped out of bed.
Who has been the first to fall into your trap? Hopefully Cole! You couldn't stand his arrogant behaviour and you also didn't get why your sister seemed so faszinated by him.
You opened your door and couldn't help but laugh. Isaac had just come out of the bathroom, a look of horror on his face. Most of his hair was bright pink. It was hillarious!
The only negative thing about it was, that the other boys were now warned. They would for sure control their shampoo before using it.
"New York is tougher than I thought", laughed Cole, eying your sister as she covered her mouth, trying not to laugh too hard.
"I'm sure that wasn't her", said Nathan before he turned towards you, "It was you right?"
Isaac's eyes widened as he also turned around to look at you.
You leaned against the doorframe, grinning. "Don't underestimate me, Garcia!"
Isaac POV:
Wow, he couldn't deny that he was impressed. He had branded you a popular spoiled girl, a city girl who got everything she wanted, daddy's little darling. Guess he was wrong. You were tougher than you looked.
He eyed you as you stood there laughing. He definitely had to be careful. You were not only beautiful you were also not afraid of standing up for yourself and messing with the boys.
A little smile escaped his lips and he ran a hand through his hair. "Good one, Y/N"
You raised your head proudly.
Long after you disappeared into your room he still stood there, grinning.
Your POV:
The following days you were extremely careful, looking out for Isaac's revenge.
You showered at 4 in the morning so that you didn't cross paths and used freshly bought shampoo. You locked your room and sat as far away from him as possible during breakfast and dinner. Except for "Good morning" you didn't really talk to each other.
To your surprise he knocked at your door one afternoon. "Hey, Y/N, wanna play videogames together?"
You turned around, closing your maths book. "Do you really think I'm this stupid?"
He blinked. "What?"
"If you want to play a trick on me, you have to try harder. I'm not following you in the living room. I bet you have some slime that falls down on me when I walk through the door."
Isaac looked at you perplex. "Nope, I just want to get to know you better. You seem cool." He grinned. "But that's an incredible idea!"
"No pranks?" You raised your eyebrow and Isaac nodded. "No pranks, I promise."
The two of you got along surprisingly well the whole time. Isaac had some snacks and drinks prepared and he showed you his favourite video game.
After a few initial difficulties, things didn't go so badly anymore. "You're not as bad as I thought."
You took another bite of chocolate. "And this from the mouth of Isaac Garcia. I feel honored."
"Yes, you should!"
Since then the two of you often met for video game sessions. He wasn't as annoying as you thought. In fact he was really cool and fun to be with.
Jackie still didn't like him and gave you a disapproving look whenever she saw you together. You didn't really get what her problem was. She was the one who constantly hung out with Cole! Isaac was a saint compared to him.
~ ~ ~
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In the last few weeks you were also starting to spend more time with Lee.
He soon grew to be one of your closest friends. (You really thought it was necessary to have a best friend who isn't a close friend to your sister. You wanted your own life after all and not just a cheap copy of your sister's)
How this friendship with Lee started? Well, being the daughter of the famous designer Angelica Howard could be hard. Everyone expected perfection, even if they didn't say it explicitly. Most of the activities you did were only because they would look nice on your CV.
At the Walters' house you had the chance to finally choose hobbies that you really liked. So you wanted to try skateboarding.
One afternoon when the majority of the Walter boys were out to watch Parkers match you took Lee's skateboard that was leaning next to the door.
It took a few attempts until you were able to stand on it without holding on to the wall. Getting around with it was even more difficult. Again you fell to the floor.
How did Lee make it look so easy? You were glaring at the skateboard as you heard a chuckle behind you.
"That looked painful."
You turned your head and saw the Garcia brothers standing there.
Isaac walked towards you and offered you a hand. You took it and he helped you to your feet.
Blushing you rubbed the back of your neck and smiled at Lee apologetically. "I'm sorry for taking your skateboard, Lee."
To your surprise Lee didn't seem angry at all. "You wanna learn it?"
"Sure"
"Okay, I'll teach you how"
Lee wasn't that good at explaining, his teaching methods were more like: I show you how easy it is by driving around and beeing absolutely cool and then it was your turn and you made an absolute fool of yourself (which Jordan captured on camera - thank you very much!).
Isaac's POV:
He couldn't stop smiling. The way you tried so hard not to fall off, your hands stretched out, looking for balance.
Soon he found himself watching you practise everyday and it wasn't boring at all. He enjoyed watching as Lee told you what to do and he even offered to give you a hand when you tried to make turns.
You were a fast learner - or at least faster than he himself when Lee tried to teach him some tricks.
"You're getting better and better", Lee said, clearly proud of himself as a teacher and proud of you, his student.
"Soon you'll turn into a real skatergirl", grinned Isaac and you gave him the brightest smile possible.
He stared at you, feeling his heart racing in his chest. Yes, he couldn't deny it anymore, he had fallen in love with Y/N Howard.
~ ~ ~
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Your POV:
Lucy's Birthday. You had feared that day since the accident. And even though Jackie tried to act tough and strong you were pretty sure that she struggled just as much as you did.
While the others left for school in the morning you pretended to be sick and stayed in bed till afternoon, staring at the ceiling.
"Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you" Your words were quiet, your voice shaking. "Happy Birthday dear Lucy, Happy Birthday to you."
Tears streamed your face as you whispered her name. Again and again. Lucy.
Jackie never wanted to talk about her or your parents. It had been months since you last said her name. It left a bitter note on your tongue.
Abruptly you sat up. You needed to get out, you needed to stop thinking about her.
Making sure that nobody saw you, you sneaked in the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of vodka. Katherine had tried to hide it, not knowing that you watched her.
The bottle in your hand you left the house, walking towards the barn. The loft seemed like the perfect place to get wasted. In any case better than your room since you didn't know when Jackie would come home.
You climbed up the ladder and sat down on the floor, your feet dangling above the ground.
Lucy. There weren't enough words to describe how much you missed her. Her spirit, her energy. You had always felt closer to her than to Jackie - not that you didn't love Jackie but she was always so perfect that you felt like you couldn't keep up with her. Lucy on the other hand was popular and outgoing just like you. For her school wasn't the number one priority. Her grades were good but not perfect.
"Hey" Isaac's voice snapped you out of your daydreams. "What are you doing up there?"
You held up the bottle of vodka. "Celebrating!" Your voice cracked, sounding drunk already.
Isaac rised an eyebrow. "What are you celebrating?"
You shrugged, taking another sip. You didn't wanna talk about Lucy, you didn't even know if you could say her name without bursting into tears. "My miserable life?", you suggested.
Isaacs expression changed from slightly amused to worried. He climbed up the ladder and sat down next to you. "Are you okay?"
The question was so absurd that you bursted out laughing. "Yes, yes I'm totally fine!" You handed him the vodka and without taking his eyes off you, he took a sip.
You didn't want to think about anything. Not about Lucy, not about your parents not about school.
You needed something to distract you, something better than alcohol. In New York you always went partying with your friends when you felt like your world was falling apart. Here in Colorado you felt more lonely than ever. Maybe you just needed to feel alive again.
Without thinking about possible consequences you grabbed Isaac by the collar of his shirt, pulled him towards you and kissed him.
Isaac's POV:
Was this a dream? Was this really happening? Did you maybe just kiss him because you were drunk? Did you really want this?
His heart was pounding violently in his chest as he felt your hands in his and your kisses against his lips. He pulled you closer towards him, leaning against you.
He had wanted to kiss you for a while now and even though he mostly seemed so confident, he hadn't found the courage to tell you.
He asked Lee about you once or twice, trying to find out if you liked him too but either Lee didn't knew it or he didn't tell him. What cheek! What else was a brother for, especially when he was best friends with the girl Isaac loved?
His kisses became more passionate. Hugging you and spreading soft kisses on your neck, he whispers: "I'm in love with you."
You giggled, kissing him. It would definitely be best if you didn't show up for dinner.
Isaac actually hadn't thought that you were so heavily drunk, he only noticed it when you two tried to climb down the ladder again.
You giggled, trying to keep your balance what nearly gave him a heart attack. It almost took you twenty minutes.
Isaac grabbed your hand and dragged you towards the house. "Please be quiet!", he begged you while trying to get a glimpse where all the others were.
Had they already gathered in the kitchen, ready for dinner? "Lee!" He whisper-shouted as he saw his brother and signaled him to come outside.
"What's wrong, bro?"
Isaac only gestured towards you, while you were trying to stand on one leg, giggling and blabbering.
Lee stared at you in shock. "Holy shit! She looks totally drunk."
"She is", Isaac confirmed. "We need to get her to her room before Katherine sees her!"
"What if Jackie tells her? She's always trying to act right, remember."
Isaac bit his lip. That was right. Jackie had already proved that she was a sneak.
"We bring her in our room", Lee suggested, "Nobody will notice and we can take care of her until she feels better."
Okay, that sounded like a plan!
"I'll distract the others!" Lee hurried back into the kitchen, making sure the others didn't come out.
Isaac kneeled down in front of you. "Hold on to me. I'm gonna give you a piggybag ride"
You wrapped your arms around him, laughing. "I bet that's fun!" You talked loudly, way too loudly.
Isaac heard Katherine's voice. "Was that Y/N?"
"I don't think so!", Lee answered quickly, trying to block the door, "She said she would be home very late. She has to prepare a talk for literature class with one of her friends - I guess her name was Grace."
He kept talking and talking while Isaac hurried up the stairs, carrying you on his back. There wasn't the right word to describe how relieved he was, when he finally entered his room and laid you down on his bed.
Your POV:
As you woke up the next morning your head was aching. You tried to sit up but stopped in the middle of the movement - and not just because you felt you might need to throw up due to the drinking yesterday.
This wasn't your room. You took a look around, wondering how you got here.
Isaac was lying on the floor next to you. The other bed on the other side of the room was empty. Lee had already left.
Was it already this late? Damn, you didn't want anyone seeing you sneaking out of one of the boys bedroom, especially when you still felt that you were about to throw up. You were sure that they would assume the worst.
Your memory of yesterday was very vague. In fact you only remembered drinking and... oh shit, snogging Isaac. Damn, why did you do that?
It's gonna be so weird sitting next to him during lunch and dinner and seeing him basically the whole day because you lived together.
You covered your face in embarrassment. Okay, stay cool. It was just snogging. Just snogging. You were pretty sure it didn't mean much to Isaac either. He always acted like the cool boy with his leather jacket and his macho posturing.
Slowly you started to stand up and grabbed your shoes that were lying next to the bed.
Isaac moved. You must have woken him up by accident, because he grumbled softly to himself and sat up. His hair looked like a mess but it suited him surprisingly well. "Morning, Y/N" He smiled at you and leaned in for a kiss but you backed away shocked.
"What are you doing?!"
Isaac hesitated, clearly confused. "Well... after last night I thought..."
"You thought what?", you snapped, regretting how harsh it sounded as you saw how hurt Isaac looked.
"I thought we were... we kissed, I told you I loved you..."
Your face starts to burn. "You WHAT?!"
"Don't you remember that?"
"No!" You gathered your stuff and stormed out of his room, not caring anymore if somebody saw you.
All you wanted was to get away from this situation as soon as possible. You had never been good at expressing your feelings or solving conflicts. You were only good at running away.
You ran towards the room that you shared with your sister, threw the door open and stormed inside.
Jackie let out a surprised squeak. "Y/N, you scared me to death"
You kicked the door shut and threw yourself on your bed.
Jackie didn't seem to notice how upset you were. She was lost in her own chaos. "I did something very stupid", she whispered after a few minutes of silence.
You looked at her in surprise. Jackie and doing something stupid? These were words that you normally wouldn't put in one sentence.
You walked over to her and sat down on the egde of her bed. Only then did you notice that she looked just as hungover as you felt. Was she also drinking? "I'm pretty sure what I did is way worse" you said, trying to cheer her up a little bit and offering her a guilty smile.
She shook her head, half smiling, half crying. "I went to a party with Cole and I... I was drinking way too much... I almost kissed him in front of Erin and the whole group... and when I came home and Alex tried to be there for me, I tried to kiss him too."
You looked at her in disbelief. You had never thought that she would ever do something like that.
She leaned over to you and pulled you into a hug.
"Hey, it's all gonna work out, okay?" You rubbed her back soothingly. "Seemed like you took a break from being the good and perfect girl."
She rolled her eyes, smiling. Then a thought crossed her mind and she looked at you questioningly. "Y/N, you said yours would be worse...what did you do?"
"Oh" You blushed a deep shade of red. "I was snogging with Isaac."
"YOU WHAT?" She stared at you wide-eyed.
"I was drunk, way too drunk... I just wanted some distraction from thinking about Lucy and then... it just happened..."
"How much did you drink? And on top of that Isaac?!"
You knew that she couldn't stand him, especially since his prank on her. "Jackie, please, I don't want to talk about it, not yet."
She nodded even though you could see that there were lots of questions swirling around in her head.
Since you didn't want any lunch, Jackie forced you to at least go down for dinner. The Walters were already sitting at the table when the two of you came in. Isaac stared at you angrily. You avoided his gace and sat down as far away from him as possible.
~ ~ ~
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Thanksgiving. The first Thanksgiving that you wouldn't celebrate with your family.
You tried to keep busy in order not to think about it.
While you were helping Katherine in the kitchen, Isaac and Lee got ready for their video call with their dad.
Lee picked out a black shirt and even a tie. It was cute to see him so excited as he asked you at least five times if he looked good and if his hair was fine.
"You look amazing", you told him with a big smile, brushing aside the single strand of hair that hung in his face.
Lee nodded excitedly and hurried outside the room.
Isaac still seemed to be angry with you as he walked right past you without even looking at you. He didn't bother dressing smartly but you still thought that he looked very handsome. He always did.
"Can you prepare the vegetables, Y/N?", Katherine asked and handed you the bowl and the different ingredients.
Danny was responsible for the dishes and they looked really amazing. He even let you try a single bite of it. Delicious.
Katherine turned towards you. "Do you know when Jackie comes back?"
"She didn't tell me." Secretly you suspected that she would try to join the fiest as late as possible. That's just the way Jackie was. Acting strong and pretending everything was fine when really she was hurting.
The door flew open and Lee stormed inside. You had never seen him this angry and hurt before.
You jumped to your feet, almost dropping the little bowl of Vegetables. "Lee, what happened?"
Lee didn't answer. Instead he opened a bottle of wine, ready to get wasted.
You turned towards his brother who has just entered the room, looking just as unbothered as he did before. "Isaac, what's up with Lee? What happened?"
He turned around, glaring at you. "Don't act like you care. I know you don't."
His words hit you like a knife. You could feel the others staring at the two of you and your cheeks started burning. "What? Of course I care! How can you say that?"
"Okay" He raised his hands defensively but his expression said 'whatever'. "Guess you do care about Lee then."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"Oh come on, you know that exactly! You played me like a toy and you couldn't have cared less about it!" He stormed out and you were so bewildered that you just stood there not knowing what to say.
It didn't help that everyone was staring at you, their faces asking clearly "What happened between you two?"
Avoiding to look at them, you ran out of the kitchen and up to your room. Why did he say that? You didn't play him, did you?
Nevertheless his words hurt you deeply, deeper than other people's words normally did. He seemed to hate you and you... you missed spending time with him. Did you have feelings for him?
You shook your head fiercly. When you moved here you had decided that it would be better not to rush in a relationship. Especially since you still struggled with the loss of your family. You needed friends, not some drama about boys.
~ ~ ~
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The great bonfire, the party everyone was waiting for.
Of course you also couldn't wait for it. A party! Amazing! Finally some distraction!
You got ready with your sister and your friends. It was hard talking to Jackie alone the past few days. Since she and Alex started dating, he was always around, barely giving you two some sister time.
Originally you had planned to spend the whole party with her and your friends but then Alex and Cole started making their usual drama about who gets to be with Jackie. Pretty annoyed you walked off - which Jackie didn't even notice.
Lost in thought you stood in front of the bonfire, staring into the flames.
"Y/N" Lee walked up to you, a worried expression on his face. "Are you okay?"
You didn't want to ruin his evening so you forced a smile and tried to forget about Cole and Alex' drama for once.
You poked Lee in the cheek and grabbed his arm. "Yeah, I really like the party. You know... the partys in New York are totally different from here."
A soft smile escaped his lips. "What are they like? Tell me about it."
"Well..." How should you describe the feeling, the unique style, the atmosphere? To be honest the only comparism that hit you was: "They are just like Jackie."
Lee raised his eyebrow, looking confused but curious. "What do you mean 'like Jackie'?"
You shrugged. "They are perfect in every way. Glamorous even. Everyone is wearing beautiful dresses and drinking fancy cocktails with straws. They are talking about their dreams and their plans for the future. Most of the people I know have already figured it out." It often felt like you didn't belong there.
Lee watched you attentive.
"Most of the parties I went to were organized by students in order to get extra credits. They seemed like a ball for a princess." You couldn't help but laugh. "I prefered the clubs. Dancing like tomorrow didn't matter and like nobody was watching. I have only been there twice." As a minor it was hard to get in, but Lucy had always found a way.
Lee looked amused. "And now you're here, playing beer pong and standing around a huge bonfire. No cocktails, no glamour."
"Yes, it feels like two different worlds."
"Which one do you prefer?"
"Honestly? This one here. No need to be perfect, just having fun and being yourself."
He chuckled and you took a sip from your drink. "By the way...have you seen the others? I want to convice Jackie to play beer pong against me. That could be my one and only chance to be better than her." Also she needed distraction from the Alex and Cole drama.
You stood on your tiptoes, searching the crowd for familiar faces. You turned around and you saw them, right next to the fireplace. Your heart clenched.
Isaac and one of the cheerleaders. The girl looked amazing. Of course she did, all cheerleaders did.
Don't cry. Don't cry. Damn, you could feel the tears in your eyes.
Lee stroked your back comfortingly. Hell, you were angry.
So goddamn angry, but not at Isaac or the girl, you were angry at yourself. You've had your chance and you pushed him away. Guess you deserved this.
Isaac POV:
He laughed as the girl in front of him said something about the party last weekend. He didn't pay attention what it was, honestly he couldn't care less.
Every now and then he stole glances over his shoulder to make sure you had noticed him and were still watching. I mean, what was the purpose of making you jealous when you didn't see it?
Yes! You were close to tears! He couldn't help but feel happy about it. After all it meant that you liked him, didn't it?
Lee was standing right beside you, his arm around your shoulder. Isaac's smile froze.
"Hey, are you okay?", the girl asked him. He didn't even remember her name.
"Mh? Yeah, yeah I'm fine." When he looked in your direction the next time, you were gone. Panic started to rise within him. Had he gone too far? Was it a horrible plan?
"I'm sorry, I have to go", he told the cheerleader, not caring that he interrupted her. Well, her story wasn't very interesting anyway.
Without waiting for her response he hurried over to his brother, looking around if you were anywhere near him. "Bro, where is she?"
Lee nodded in the direction in which you had walked off. "She wanted to be alone. Guess your brillant plan backfired."
Damn, he was right. But still he didn't regret going through with it. At least he knew now that you liked him because what other reason could your reaction have? "Did you tell her?"
Lee was clearly offended by this question. "About your plan to make her jealous? No, I promised not to, remember? Damn, just go and talk to her! You act like a seven year old!"
Lee's words made Isaac's face burn with shame. He was right, wasn't he? He really acted like a little kid. Hoping he hadn't messed completely with you, he followed you.
Your POV:
You turned as you felt someone walking up beside you. Isaac. His pretty cheerleader was nowhere to be seen.
"Hey" You forced a smile, pretending that everything was fine. You were getting better at it lately.
Isaac looked at you, worried and maybe also a bit guilty. "Is everything okay? I saw how sad you looked when you walked away from Lee."
You shook your head, smiling. "Oh, it's fine." Damn, talking to him was harder than you thought. Why was he suddenly so nice to you? He has been ignoring you or glaring at you for days, maybe weeks, and now... he left this pretty girl in order to talk to you? That boy really was a mystery.
"Look, I'm fine, Isaac. Why don't you go and have fun talking to that cheerleader girl. She seemed to fancy you." You didn't mean to sound this annoyed and bitchy.
"But I would rather talk to you, Y/N", Isaac said and suddenly he looked even more guilty. His face burning bright red he rubbed the back of his head. "I just talked to her... to make you jealous."
What? You couldn't help but stare at him. Your heart did a somersault out of joy. The relief you felt... did that mean that you liked him?
Your silence seemed to make Isaac feel insecure. He lowered his head. "Sorry, that was a stupid idea... it's okay if you don't like me."
"No that's not..." you hurry to say, "I'm sorry for what happened that day in the loft and for the way I behaved afterwards. I should have apologised way earlier." You avoided looking at him and stared into the pitch black night instead. "I didn't want to get emotionally involved... it wasn't sure how long Jackie and I would stay here after all. It wouldn't be fair to start a relationship and then move away a few weeks later."
Isaac laughed and you looked at him bewildered. "What's so funny about that?"
"Well... everything. You say a relationship wouldn't be fair but what you did is even more unfair! You made me fall in love with you, you kissed me and then you ran away and acted like it didn't happen. Like it wasn't a big deal."
You didn't know what to say. He was right and you knew it. But that didn't matter now. He just confessed to you! Your heart felt like dancing in your chest.
"Why don't you give it a try, Y/N?" His voice was soft, almost sensitive. He took your hand, his thumb gently stroking the back of your hand.
You didn't know what to answer. Should you tell him that you were afraid your uncle would take you back to New York and that saying goodbye to him would be even harder? That you tried not to get too close because you were never good at showing your emotions? That you were afraid you would hurt him again because that's just the way you were?
A thought crossed your mind. Starting over new, that's what you had wanted when you came here. You wanted to leave the old Y/N and all her problems and insecurities behind and use the chance to become someone new. Maybe this also meant giving Isaac a shot. You liked him, so maybe you should stop running away. Maybe you should break your rules of not getting too close to someone while you were here.
You stepped closer and reached out your hand to touch his cheek. His eyes widened with joy. Slowly the two of you leaned forwards, your lips touching in a sweet and gentle kiss. He seemed restrained, almost fearing you would change your mind and pull away again. To prove to him that you wouldn't run away this time, you pulled him closer and intensified the kiss.
For a moment you forgot everything around you, you only concentrated on the feeling of his lips against yours and his warmth. When you slowly start to pull away, you couldn't stop smiling.
"We don't have to rush things. And I promise I won't show you off like a trophy in school." He chuckled, clearly thinking about the way Alex and Jackie acted - all touchy and totally embarrassing. It was so gross walking through the hallway and seeing them snogging in front of everyone.
"That's very good to know", you smiled back. Your decision was right, you could feel it deep inside you. Isaac Garcia was worth breaking your own rules.
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