#i think he's devoted. to his friends and to his people and to his craft. his methodical worldview is the manifestation of that tender hope.

[jjenthusee]

Handshakes And Trash Cans

Pairing: Jason Todd x Reader

a/n: simply, i wrote a lot and i didn’t wanna release it in parts, so i squeezed the entire fic here. I’ve been having fun writing small excerpts and then they turn into full fics. Jason deserves all the love, so i focused on a neighbors to lovers? No mention of vigilante stuff, but tons of domesticity. With some mentions of big brother Dick (i’m a firm believer that he’s the number one supporter of Jason and just wants the best for him), a bit of steaminess if u squint, and a very devoted Jason. leave me any comments if your comfortable sharing because i wanna know what u guys think XD and if you were crying screaming sliding down the wall like i was (also despite me still being in my repenting era, i wanted to release this as an early apology cause i wanna write another angsty drabble so maybe…maybe not look forward to that) ENJOY (link to the work before this one here)

word count: 7.1k

tags: pining, tons of fluff, strangers to friends to lovers, heartfelt confessions, big brother dick shenanigans

When you got your first two-bedroom apartment, you always thought the dream would only be possible with a roommate. You didn’t have much money during college and transitioning into a full-time job didn’t allow you to freely spend outside of necessities and rent.

But you did it. You got two bedrooms and you didn’t initially know what to do with the extra room. A hobby space, a library, a guest room, or an office? There were too many possibilities.

This was your space, so you combined it all. A basket to keep all of your current craft obsessions next to a bean bag, two full shelves of books from your childhood to your university years, and a desk in the corner to write. It was everything you hoped for. A spot to leave work out of, to decompress and remember the things that made you happy.

You were proud you did it on your own. You could enjoy solitude, your hard work and give time to prioritize yourself.

But an unexpected accomplishment came with an unexpected visitor. A handsome visitor no less. Maybe being an adult wasn’t so bad all the time.

…

But meeting new people was bad. Or you were bad at it.

When you were up at two in the morning, doing normal two a.m. activities like trying to turn your entire life around, you believed that dragging yourself to one of the community events at the apartment complex would help you get to know your neighbors. Then you could scope the scene to see if you wanted to hide forever or maybe have a friendly acquaintance you acknowledged in the hallway.

Now you wanted neither as you sat, alone, at a bar stool in the well decorated community balcony. Although you were distancing yourself from the main party, you couldn’t help admiring the string lights they hung up, the pristine décor, and new furniture. They clearly went through a grand renovation before you moved in.

Despite your need to socially decompress from all the small talk, you did feel mellow in the warm lighting, listening to the slow music you quietly hummed to.

The view was great from your table, you got to see from the edge of the balcony into the city view. Gotham City did have its moments and lots of outsiders tend to see all the bad that overruns it, but when the city is calm, it has its own virtue.

As you watched the sky line, a man also decided to join in, admiring the city lights. He stood farther from where you sat, leaning against the glass and steel railing. He was probably distancing himself from the party like you were. You could only see half of his face from your current angle and distance, but he was…charming. Broody and charming.

Gotham did have the best views, but staring was bad. A little bit of hope crept into your mind at the thought of a handsome neighbor living in the same apartment building.

Another pretty man joined him. Wow, you never realized that Gotham had a lot of great views. Maybe you needed to get out more, enjoy the scenery a bit.

The two beautiful men seemed to know each other. One more talkative than the other, but they seemed close. It was amusing watching the way they contrasted one another, a man clearly dragged to be here tonight and the other fueling himself with the night vibe.

As much as you wanted to continue to be nosy, maybe it was time to call it a night, it was late and you got enough of your pretty boy fill for the evening. Which would have been the plan if you didn’t make eye contact with the second model that blessed your eyes.

You nervously observed the charismatic man walking toward you with a bright friendly smile.

“Hello, I just wanted to ask if my brother—the tall very alone one standing over there—could be tall and very alone over here, in this seat.” He dragged the stool out from underneath the glass table you were resting your arms on.

You looked at the empty seat across from you, then glanced at his presumed brother you were staring at earlier. He clearly didn’t agree to this sudden turn of events as he watched the two of you talk and he looked more mortified than you were. It was…cute. It brought a smile to your face.

“Well, your tall and very alone brother looks scared of me.” You glanced back to the man still holding the chair out.

Your comment must have been hysterical at the way the man was almost leaning forward from laughing. His dimples fully visible and his hair falling forward. Everything he did looked stunning.

“I promise he’s friendlier than he looks.” He breathlessly held his stomach still amused at your first impression of his broody brother. “He’s tall, alone, and friendly if it helps.”

You thought for a moment, debating on your options: leave or sit with a handsome man in possibly awkward silence.

“I don’t mind being alone together.” You smiled more, giving into the curiosity of the man leaning against the railing.

You were a simple human and apparently the man in front of you was too when he ushered his brother over. A man much too large for the bar stool, but you got a good look at his full face.

The curls, defined dark eyebrows, a white streak. His face had definition, a particular beauty that differed from his brother. Not less beautiful, but you were more drawn to the rougher look.

You definitely made the right choice.

Before you had any time to say anything, the conspirator left to go mingle with another bunch of attendees. You watched him hop from one conversation to another, you didn’t know whether he knew them or he just met them like you had five seconds ago.

“I think social anxiety is scared of him.” You laughed in disbelief to your new companion.

“Trust me, you have no idea. I’ve seen him wear some of the most horrendous outfits in public, willingly. What’s worse is—I hate to admit it—but he can pull it off, in a horrifying way.” The stranger shook his head, no mortification in his voice, and you almost unconsciously lulled to the sound. “But he means well, uh, sorry he dragged you into whatever he’s planning. I could leave you alone, he tends to unintentionally be pushy.”

Oh? Broody, charming and thoughtful. Was the bar low or were you easily impressed? Maybe the husky voice is blurring the distinction.

“No, it’s okay, he seemed worried about both us being ‘very alone’ as he put it.” You spoke, glancing into the eyes of the man in front of you. Greenish blue. A wave of amusement washed over you and with the most serious expression you could muster, you decided to test the waters. “From one alone person to another, let’s be alone together.” You reached out your hand to introduce yourself.

He coyly smiled at your formal gesture, leaning in to mimic your movement. You were both leaning onto the glass table, close enough to see the slight scaring on his face. Faint enough to see them only if you were close enough, wanting to drag your thumb across them.

His warm hand engulfed yours. Calloused. A firm handshake.

“Jason, alone man, and been alone for twenty-one years.” Jason gave you the most breathtaking smile, never letting go of your hand. “I’m looking forward to this opportunity…alone, of course.”

You laughed, almost giggled from how charming this man was.

“It’s been twenty-three alone years and still counting.” You mischievously smirked, glad he joined in on your antics. “I’m glad to let you join the team. I expect great things from you.”

“And I hope to learn a lot from my superiors, I’ll be in your care.” Jason’s voice was so low at the end of his statement. It caught you off guard that you almost missed the way he held onto your hand just a tiny bit longer than you anticipated. So short that you felt like you imagined it.

The warmth still lingered on your hands after you let go.

You were so engrossed in Jason’s company and Jason only had the eyes to look at you, that neither of you could see the man, who schemed your interaction, was beaming from watching the connection spark.

…

That single handshake and nonchalant agreement that you shared with an unknown neighbor actually kept it’s promise. That evening, you found out that Jason lived on the same floor as you did, that his brother visited him a lot, and he took out the trash on Wednesdays.

He didn’t tell you the last one, but you found out the last bit of information by accident when you bumped into him on your way back from the trash room. You thought the evening you met Jason would be the first and last time you would see him, but your laziness prevented you from taking out the garbage on your designated day and you were graced with seeing his lopsided smile as you passed him in the hallway.

You were so giddy from the surprise and seeing Jason’s captivating smile, you tested your luck and took the trash out on the same day and time the following week.

You listened out in the hallway, trying to hear a door open, it was honestly crazy behavior, but you continued your slow pace, but with no tall alone man in sight and a defeated sigh, you walked to the trash room with no Jason by your side and swung the door open.

Like a beam of light cascading over you, the man in question was standing in front of you, opening the trash shoot. You never thought a man in a trash room would be sexy, but with his shirt tightly straining on his body, a flushed face, and his muscles eye level with you, anything was possible.

May whoever told this gorgeous man to live at this apartment complex eat delicious meals, have working phone chargers, and a lifetime of happiness.

Somewhere off in the far distance, Dick sneezed.

You almost forgot the reason you were in the trash room after you set your eyes on Jason’s post-workout state. He kept the shoot open for you and with unsteady steps you threw your trash bag to disappear to the unknown. You were trying to not trip up with Jason’s defined arm holding the handle open and the close proximity of his chest to your face.

Maybe you need to go on a run. Why were you acting like this right now?

“Hey, neighbor.” Jason casually spoke to you. His voice felt airy, probably winding down from the exercise. “You come around here often?”

You cleared your mind from any thoughts, the trash room was not the place to start flirting, but what were you supposed to do when Jason started it? Or what you assumed to be flirtatious conversation.

“Nah, I’m new to town.” You glanced over to him, leaning your neck back to grasp his full height. Jason hadn’t missed the movement, combing your collarbone with his gaze. “But, I might stay a while.” You melodically spoke.

Before your stare and voice settled in the air, you stepped to the side to add a little distance between the two of you. Pulling away from the tension.

“Just so I can continue my alone things.” You explained trying to smoothen the mood with a playful tone.

Jason stayed quiet like he was contemplating something in his mind. Then he let the trash shoot close and with small steps the both of you walked out into the hallway.

“What alone things do you have planned tomorrow?” Jason nonchalantly asked, so casually you almost thought you heard wrong.

“Uh, work in the morning, but nothing planned for the evening, I wanted to try out a new cookie recipe.”

“Do you wanna come over to my place—I wanted to cook something for dinner, but it just hasn’t worked out yet. Maybe you can bring those cookies?” Jason didn’t look at you, suddenly interested in the pure white walls of the hallway. He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand.

You were stunned. How was such a beautiful man asking you to come over to his place with the promise of him cooking you dinner and all you had to do was bring your shitty cookies?

“I want to warn you that my cookies aren’t award worthy. I just follow the recipe, they’re nothing special.” You wanted to ensure that Jason was really inviting you over.

“Then I can’t wait to try your ‘nothing special’ cookies.” He reassured.

…

You spent the entire afternoon making sure your measurements were precise, not a lump of flour above the rim of the measuring utensils you haven’t brought out in a while. Usually you winged the ingredients, not really worried about the quality too much since it was just you.

But now you wanted to cry.

How did you properly fold ingredients, were you whisking right, maybe you should’ve got the too expensive butter from the store?

It took three full hours to prep, bake, and try your hand at cutely packaging the cookies. It took four attempts to arrange the cookies in a way that didn’t make you want to cancel the dinner.

But after a few pep talks in the mirror and reassuring yourself that this was a hang out and not a date, then you were able to walk over to his unit number.

You hesitantly knocked on the door, five minutes after seven because you would torture yourself thinking about arriving right on the dot before you fell asleep tonight and every night after.

Your worries left your mind when you saw Jason open the door in an apron.

“You’re just in time, I’m ready to plate everything.” He beamed.

Your heart might not be able to survive tonight. But it was just dinner.

You awkwardly handed Jason your tin of homemade cookies. You tried to limit your snooping around his apartment when he told you to wait for him to get the drinks, but curiosity was coursing through you once you realized that you were being invited into a part of Jason’s life and home.

You were no longer going to be strangers. You didn’t know if this qualified to make you friends, but you knew you were two people about to eat dinner together. A dinner he made and cookies you made as thanks.

Once you were ready to eat, you stared at your plate filled with spices, fresh veggies, a meticulously cooked entrée and a…homemade lemonade? You stared up at Jason, watching you look at his food.

“I feel like bringing you cookies isn’t enough.” Although you felt guilty, you took a bite because you didn’t want to look at one more second of Jason’s shining eyes.

You could only sigh, which made Jason worry.

“I think I’m going to name my children after you.”

Jason chuckled at your exaggeration.

“I’d be honored.”

The rest of the meal was relaxing. You didn’t have to force yourself around Jason. Your conversation flowed easily and you were interested in learning about the man you met on the balcony.

…

After many trips to the other side of the apartment building and a couple of deep cleanings of your apartment, you got accustomed to having Jason walk around your kitchen, rummaging the cabinets and organizing your spices the way he likes it.

One shared meal after another. Sometimes several times a week or spaced out further when work got busy. It was nice to look forward to a meal with Jason.

Now you had text messages from him on your phone, a designated mug for him, and a couple of his snacks that he wanted you to try.

You traded recipes. Jason gave you his favorites and you mainly just gave him ones you were curious about, not very fond of your kitchen.

After several failed attempts at convincing him that it was your kitchen that was the problem and not your ability to cook, he came over more to prove you wrong.

Now you sat at your kitchen island to watch him concentrate on mixing an assortment of spices and herbs while you memorized as much of his face and hands as possible. The TV was on, but you had no interest in whatever movie played.

“I have a confession to make.” You sadly looked at Jason.

He glanced over from the pan on the stove to your face. Confusion in his eyes from your sudden change in tone.

“I actually don’t really like cookies.” You threw your hands up in a guilty pose. “Now it’s eating me inside that I had to give those to you when I first came over to your place.”

Jason hummed and tilted his head with one of his eyebrows raised in a teasing manner.

“So, the guilt finally got to you, huh?” He grinned moving his attention back to the food cooking in front of him. His nonchalant voice resonating around you.

“I can’t sleep at night anymore.” You exaggerated, walking a little closer to his side. “Well, once you became my personal chef I realized I had to make it up to you.” You could smell the food better now that you were standing next to Jason.

“I can see the guilt in your eyes.” He flatly said watching you eyeing the food.

“We always eat when we hang out and I can make simple foods, but if I can follow a recipe I was going to suggest if I should cook something, but you are also here to prove me wrong that my kitchen isn’t cursed. Which it is by the way—”

“Your kitchen is not cursed.” He warmly scolded you. “I’ll come over everyday to prove it if I have to.”

You always had to reset your brain when he used that tone with you. It just felt too…sincere. Too intimate.

You wanted him to come over everyday. You took a breath.

“I make more money than when I was still in college, but I don’t think I can afford that many grocery bills.” You teased him. “Why do you think I go over to your place?”

You wanted to evade any serious topics and humor was the best at evading. You were good at avoidance.

“So, I’m a free pantry to you?” His eyebrows rose, questioning you. “I knew you were using me!” He faked a flabbergasted voice like he just heard his life-long partner declare they were cheating on him for months.

He turned off the stove, covering the pan with the lid and turning to face you.

“I didn’t mean to, it just sort of happened.” You gave him your best dejected look. “I promise I’ll pick up more shifts to help restock your fridge, but let me just taste your homemade ravioli one last time.” You begged as he moved closer to you, closing you in with the kitchen island behind your back.

His height and broad shoulders easily caved you in. You gulped watching his face lean down and inch closer.

“If I can’t trust you with my fridge, you don’t deserve my ravioli.” He lowered his voice, gazing down at you with a look that made you breathless. You couldn’t move with the counter behind you and Jason hovering dangerously close to you. “But, you can make it up to me.” He brought his thumb to your chin, barely a wisp of touch.

“How?” You stammered, wondering if the bit was still going.

“Let’s go to the farmer’s market tomorrow.” His hand moved from your face to the edge of the counter, close enough to touch your side and his voice returning to normal, but he didn’t pull away.

“Okay, uh, I’m off tomorrow.” You stared, darting your eyes between Jason’s eyes. Trying to adjust to the tension that was radiating off of him.

“Good, foods ready.” Jason pulled away, moving to the cabinet to grab your glass plates. He was too familiar with the layout of your kitchen.

That night you quickly learned how easy Jason was able to turn the tables. Your racing heart and shallow breathing were the only evidence of it ever happening.

…

The heat beat down on you. Of all days for Gotham to finally clear it’s clouds, it chose today.

Although you weren’t fond of the warm air, you liked watching all the colorful tents, the food on display, and seeing the various local products. Everything looked intricately cared for and it brought a proud feeling to contribute to the locals.

“Bags?” Jason asked, going through his mental checklist.

“Check.” You raised the reusable grocery bags in your hands.

“Hats?”

“Check.” You nudged the baseball cap on your head.

“Money?” Jason smirked.

You grabbed onto Jason’s bicep. Giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Check.” You grinned up at Jason looking at the placement of your hand. “Now let’s go!” You gleefully led him to the first tent with your hand still on him.

You had no idea how you ended up carrying all the bags, but you were trying to ease your mind that this could be considered a date. Jason didn’t call it that and you never asked to clarify, but you couldn’t help it itching at your brain.

You didn’t want to label anything, out of respect for Jason and what he wanted, but you noticed he had started to touch you more and the contact makes you giddy that you had to put all of your focus on making sure you don’t drop his produce.

You stood by Jason, looking at various jars of loose leaf tea. He was smelling all the aromas, helping to move the jars to your nose, so you could smell them too. He insisted on helping you since you refused to give him a bag, but you also didn’t have a free hand to grab the jar.

After a couple more sniff tests, he settled on a jar of prickly pear tea, a lemon-ginger flavor, and he was contemplating on some earl grey cookies. You were watching him, entranced by his concentration. His brows lowered, a small line appearing between his brows. You could see more of his face with a cap on, no messy curls on his forehead and his side profile was really something.

You broke out of your trance when he offered you a piece of the earl-grey cookie, holding it in front of your mouth.

“They’re free samples, try it.” He looked at you, waiting patiently. “I know you don’t like cookies, but these are made with the tea sold here. I saw all the tea you keep in your pantry, so I think you would like it.”

In your lost state at this man in front of you, that could’ve sounded like a proposal to you at that point.

You inched forward, opening your mouth for the cookie. You hesitated at the intimacy, but how could you tell that face ‘no.’ Staring at the small piece of cookie, baked a quarter of the original size they sold, you also saw all the scars that littered Jason’s hands. Many healed over, but you could see the faded lines.

You dangerously wanted to kiss each one.

You grabbed the piece in your mouth, but you didn’t realize that you accidentally touched Jason’s finger with your lip.

You quickly glanced at Jason, but his eyes were glossed over. His attention focused on your mouth.

What a sight.

You chewed and hummed. They were good. Jason cleared his throat at your approval.

“I’ll get a bag and the tea. I’ll be back. You can put the bags down for a bit because there’s a small line.” He quickly turned around, a small tinge of redness left on his ears with his head turned away from you.

You watched his back walk away, then settled the bags down to give your arms a break.

“Excuse me, I just wanted to tell you that you two are adorable.” A honeyed voice spoke trying to grab your attention.

Your head whipped back to the table of teas. An older lady restocking the various collection had a mischievous look in her eye. You hadn’t noticed her there at all.

“The way your boyfriend looks at you, I haven’t seen a look like that since my husband passed many years ago.” The lady gushed.

“Wha, no, I—“ You stammered, trying to clear up the confusion, but your flustered face must’ve amused the woman.

“That made my day, so I wanted to give you this lemon bar we just started selling. Go on, take it and share it with him.” She pressured you to take the free treat. You were too speechless to try to refuse it and insist that you pay before she placed it in your hand herself and she walked off to help another customer wanting a sample.

Your face felt hot and you hoped it cleared before Jason came back, but before you could fan the redness away he appeared next to you with his purchase.

“Hey, you okay? Where’d you get that lemon—”

“Let’s get some lunch!” You grabbed the bags and nudged him to the food trucks lining the edge of the market, trying to hide your face with your hat and leaving the comments from the woman behind.

…

“Wow, this might be the best empanada I’ve ever had.” You chomped at your lunch.

Jason found a waffle place and settled on a berry topping. It was wrapped perfectly to fit in his hands.

You sat across from Jason at an outdoor table with an umbrella to shield you from the sun, sitting away from the rush of people lining up to also eat. The midday lunch rush got to you and you wanted to have a bit of privacy before you went back home.

“How long have you known about this place?” You asked Jason, a slight breeze grazing your face. Watching a kid nudging his dad for a piece of banana bread he found on one of the vendor’s tables.

“Last year? It was recent, but I’ve heard it’s been around for a while. Maybe over five years?” Jason took a bite of his waffle.

“I wish I had found this during my university years. This is a bit out of the way of my walk route, but it would’ve been awesome to browse with my friend.” You saw the boy you were watching earlier smiling wide as he held his dad’s hand and the banana loaf as big as his head. You smiled at the interaction.

“But I probably would’ve sent my friend into shock.” You continued, the boy and his dad disappearing into the crowd. “I wasn’t very social during my university years.” You glanced at Jason, his waffle gone and he was neatly folding the wrapper.

“My friend would joke that I would only meet someone if they magically met me at home. Like that was the only way I could score a date.” You pitifully joked at the old memory. “Sounds absurd doesn’t it, but she wasn’t wrong—“

You saw a shift in Jason’s eyes. He had an oddly serious look, it stopped you from talking and you sat up straighter, wondering what he was thinking about.

You waited, watching him internally fight with whatever he wanted to say.

“That’s not true.” He hesitated. “You’re funny, you’re able to connect with others, you’re a great listener, and you’re honest. You don’t have the heart to be mean to others and your facial expressions are adorable.” His voice rose the longer he defended you. His serious expression further amplified with his furrowed eyebrows. A part of his face obscured by his cap, but you felt the raw emotion emanating from him.

“Anyone would be enamored with you, even if they met you in the hallway or walking down the street.” He puffed, crushing the waffle paper on the table.

You were surprised, glancing over at Jason, watching him get this frustrated. You realized you’ve never seen him this…emotional and he refused to look at you.

The sudden development and his clear thoughts about you stunned you. You joked with Jason how alone you both were, it even brought you together thanks to his brother, but you didn’t really know how alone he truly was. You don’t think he really understood how lonely you were too.

You enjoyed your shared meals, you craved his time and attention.

You got so used to his presence that the days you didn’t see him, you felt like you were dreaming. Waiting to wake up when you heard that familiar knock on your door.

Your heart raced and you hoped he cherished your time together like you did.

You didn’t want to assume his witty personality as being flirtatious, you didn’t want to misunderstand any of his intentions because he was funny, charming, and awkward in ways that you just wanted to grab his face and protect him.

You didn’t particularly need Jason as your person, that felt too selfish, but you also wanted to be somebody to him. Either next to him or from a distance.

A friend, a companion, a lover. The label didn’t really matter to you because you were open to any role. A lover wasn’t more significant than a friend would be. They both had the same foundation, to care for someone unconditionally.

You convinced yourself that you were happy alone, but not until recently you realized you weren’t living. You were asleep in the routine of life.

And when Jason entered your life, you felt like you woke up for the first time.

Like he was the only one who could wake you up.

All you knew was that you wanted to be there. Through his pain, his suffering, his happiest moments, his accomplishments, his anger. To be his person.

To also help him wake up.

Your silent contemplation made Jason panic.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get worked up—“

“I think apartment community events count.” You softly whispered, indecisive of whether you wanted him to hear you or not.

“What—“

“And secret meetings in the trash room too.” Your voice meek.

You were shaking, too tense to look at his reaction to your words.

“Despite what she told me, I still managed to meet you. And I was able to have some of the best meals. I’ve never laughed as hard as I have when we joked. I’m able to try new things.” You raised your head, overwhelmed by your feelings, but you hoped to convey yourself properly to Jason. “I’ve never felt so comfortable and safe with anyone else.”

Jason looked at you wide eyed and speechless, his mouth slightly agape. You took the disbelief as a sign to continue.

“I’m able to be all those things that you said because I’m with you.” Your voice filled with more resolve the more concrete your feelings felt, the more sure you became. You squeezed your eyebrows together, complete sincerity in your gaze, your heart filled with so much emotion.

But your eyebrows relaxed once you saw Jason’s face turn red. His ears a crimson shade. Before you could engrave it in your memory, he tilted his head down, covering his face with the front of his baseball cap.

“Wait, wait, wait—I didn’t expect this.” Jason rubbed a hand down his face, but the redness contrasted the skin of his hand. “You were so shy every time I tried to push the boundaries between us, but now your directly confessing everything at once.”

He stopped rubbing his face and rested his hand on the table. Meeting your gaze, a tint of red still on his skin but not as deep as before.

“I’ve been trying to get closer to you. I’ve been hoping to run into you since we first talked on the balcony. When we met in the trash room, I purposely tried to meet you again. I’ve looked forward to every meal I’ve cooked for you and although I haven’t been clear about my feelings, I didn’t want to pressure or rush you.” Jason took a breath, closing his eyes for a moment.

When they opened again, his eyes were completely focused on you.

“I want us to be more than friends…I want to be able to come over when I miss you, fold laundry together, buy you things when they remind me of you, I want you to call me when you need car maintenance.” He kept his eyes trained on you, but his voice faltered. “I want to hold your hand and to kiss you. I want us to go on dates.”

You raised your hand to the table, placing your hand over Jason’s, but he quickly flipped your hands so he was holding yours a little more firmly.

“I want to know if you snore while you sleep, to have your things at my place, so I see you in every inch of my life. I want you to know how much I’ve fallen for you.”

“I want that too.” Your voice trembled. “I’ve been wanting to hold your hand while we walked today and I want you to come over more often.” You choked as Jason leaned in to caress your face with his hand. A sickening sweet touch that you never knew you would get to feel. You cupped your hand over his.

“I’m so happy. I’ve been wanting to tell you for a while.” Jason whispered to you, his voice so honey sweet.

You looked up to him. A gentle gaze reflecting back.

“I probably look like a mess right now.” You shakily laughed.

“Of course not, you’re breathtaking, sweetheart.” Jason rubbed a thumb on your cheek, completely enamored by you.

“As much as I would love to hear you continue, I’m worried about the stuff you bought and this heat.” You tried to focus, but the smooth touch of Jason was difficult to ignore.

“Yeah, we probably need to make our way back.”

Despite his words, he didn’t move. He lingered on your face a while longer before he looked at all the bags he accumulated this morning.

“Will you let me help you carry some of the bags?” He asked. “I also want to hold your hand on the way back.”

You beamed at him. Reaching for his hand as you stood up.

…

Your walk back was refreshing.

You were exhausted from the intense flux of emotions you released, but Jason’s grip on your hand stabilized you.

You couldn’t stop smiling, the heat no longer bothering you. You swung your interlaced hands to the motion of your steps and Jason let you do what you wanted as long as you still held on.

When you got to the entrance of your apartment building, you were graced with the AC hitting you. Your hair would definitely be messed up from the sweat and your cap.

You waited in front of the elevator doors as it descended from the last person that used it. The lobby was empty, except from the usual leasing office workers inhabiting the space, but it was just you and Jason off to the side.

As you glanced around, making sure the employees were occupied, you used your grip on Jason’s hand to pull him down enough for you to kiss his cheek. A little awkward with your cap in the way, but you were able to surprise Jason.

He stayed hunched forward, shifting his face to look at you closely and digest what you did.

Ding. The elevator doors opened and you pulled Jason in the elevator.

You felt accomplished as you pushed the button to your floor. When you moved back to Jason’s side, you looked up to him, but he grabbed your face.

His hand pushed your cap up, so he could lean in and kiss you. His hat also moving up at the angle he was in.

You closed your eyes, disoriented at the feeling and because Jason completely blocked your view of the elevator, so you only heard the doors close.

Lost in the feeling and the movement of his lips, you dropped the bags in your hand to grab at Jason’s sleeve, wanting to grasp at something.

You’ve never felt so desperate to get Jason even closer and he must have understood or he craved it more because he pushed you back against the elevator wall. You felt the cold metal against your back and you gasped.

Jason devoured the sound, motivating him to hold your waist, but it wasn’t enough for him. He crouched a little lower to grasp you behind your legs to lift you fully off the ground, inching your body up, higher and more level with his face.

The angle changed and you easily wrapped your arms around his neck while simultaneously wrapping your legs around his waist. The moment intensifying as you pulled at his hair below his hat and you swallowed the low groan that left his mouth. You were drawn to the deep sound and the feeling of the hum you felt on your mouth.

You were practically flush against his body and you were down to your last few breaths, but you didn’t want to pull your face away from Jason.

You nipped at his lower lip and he lifted his hands to cup the sides of your face, digging his fingers into your sweaty hair and rubbing the back of your ears. You opened your mouth wanting to feel more of him when you heard someone loudly clear their throat.

You pulled away, shoving Jason by his shoulders as he whipped his head to see where the voice came from. You fell to your feet trying to lean against the wall with the sudden motion, hair a mess with your cap lopsided as you looked past Jason to see Dick standing there with a hand on his waist and the other holding the elevator door open. He didn’t look at the two of you directly, more like a lost look to the side.

You breathlessly adjusted your cap as you frantically smoothed out your shirt.

Jason pulled his cap down as he sighed then redirected his attention to you, gently reaching out to you to smooth out some of your hair and help you stand up straighter. Then he grabbed the bags you both dropped on the floor as he turned around to face his brother.

“I didn’t know you were coming over. You should’ve texted.” Jason walked past his brother, annoyance laced in his voice.

“I did.” Dick replied. He looked at you then followed after Jason. “But it seems you were a little occupied.” Amusement coating his voice and visible in the way he walked.

“I see you’re getting to know your neighbors very well.” Dick teased, a giant grin on his face. “I’m glad.”

What a way to meet Jason’s brother again after all this time. You wanted the floor to open up and swallow you away from the lack of awareness you had to make out with Jason in public.

You couldn’t decide if it was worse that a stranger could’ve saw you or that Dick was the one who did.

“Yeah, yeah, come inside.” Jason unlocked the door to his apartment. You nervously followed after the two.

“No seriously, I’m glad you two continued to see each other.” A genuine comment from Dick. “I’ve never seen you so comfortable with someone, Jaybird.”

A small hum from Jason as he set the bags down onto the counter.

With no indication that he wanted to speak further, you decided to talk.

“I’m sorry we’re meeting again like this. I promise I’m usually a better influence.” Hopefully your lighthearted tone would give off a better impression than the one on the elevator.

“Ha! I know you are because,” Dick moved in closer, lowering his voice. “This is the most behaved I’ve seen Jason in months.”

“Alright, enough, dickwa—Dick,” Jason cleared his throat. “But we just got back and I want to shower. It was too damn hot today.”

“Oh, I bet it was—“

“Thank you! Never come by again. See you. Good Night.” Jason raised his voice, shoving his brother out the door.

“No, please, I swear I’m done!” Dick pleaded as he was trying to hang onto the door frame, but Jason closed the door before he could start to beg.

“Are you sure he’ll be alright?” You questioned Jason.

He didn’t bother to answer your question as he closed the space between you and wrapped his arms around you, resting his forehead on your shoulder and letting his hands intertwine around your waist, falling onto your lower back.

Jason signed into your shirt. The feeling slightly tickling you.

“I wasn’t done earlier.” He whispered against you. “Then that dickhead had to interrupt.”

You laughed, loving the pouty sound of his voice.

You embraced him back, leaning your head against his.

“I think the elevator interrupted you.” You rubbed his back in soothing circles.

You closed your eyes for a moment, letting a silence fall in Jason’s apartment before your curiosity got to you.

“Jaybird?”

“It’s a nickname.”

“It’s cute.”

“Enough about him, we need to put away all the stuff we bought.” Jason lifted his head to sullenly look at the numerous bags.

“That reminds me.” You let go of him to dig around the bags, trying to find your earlier gift. “I was told to share this with you by an older woman who thought my boyfriend was adorable.”

Jason shifted behind you. Closing his hands on the edges of the counter, both of his arms on your sides. Once you found the lemon bar, you turned your body, careful to lean against the counter with Jason’s body still in front of you, around you practically.

“It’s a new product. She said I could have it for making her day, but I have to thank you because we wouldn’t have gotten it without you.”

You opened the wrapper, breaking a piece off to feed to Jason.

“How does it taste?”

Jason lingered. You anticipated what he thought, but he leaned forward to kiss you. You held onto the lemon bar, but lowered it the more heated your kiss became. The tangy taste invading your mouth.

“Amazing.”

[beelinx]

hihihi! i loovee your recent percy jackson works and i was wondering if i could please request headcanons or a smau of percy jackson x child of apollo?? (or just general) no pressure, love your writing! 🩷🩷

a/n: hiii 😭❤️ tysm for the request ! i couldn’t choose between headcanons or smau so i did both </3

If there is one thing Percy is once you two are together is down bad.

We’ve all seen it, that man is lovesick to the bone.

Honestly I’d say he’s willing to get on his knees for you any day.

We all know he’s a loyal man — it literally is his fatal flaw.

Still though I felt it was important to add because he will not let any negative thoughts plague your mind.

You will literally never doubt his fidelity because he makes sure you know just how devoted he is to you and how much he loves you <3

Mostly because he says it non-stop.

Also because of how much he does for you.

Firm believer that actions speak louder than words, so be ready to have him constantly offer to do stuff for you.

Door? Opened.

Food? Already paid for.

House? Scrubbed every little inch.

He may not be the best at some of these skills, but he will always try his hardest for you.

I feel like I have to follow that up with this: He may be loyal, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to be an asshole to others.

I always see people say it’s a red flag if your boyfriend opens the door for girls, or if he lets them down kindly while rejecting them.

But honestly I’d say it just shows how much of a gentleman he is.

If he treats other girls like shit then he is not worth it.

And trust me Sally raised that man right he will be a gentleman.

Also — when you finally get to meet Sally, she’s obsessed with you.

Anyone who makes her son that happy is a friend of hers, but it also helps how well you two end up getting along the first time you meet.

She definitely shows you the embarrassing picture album…

Percy would love for you to meet Estelle.

Whenever he sees you playing with her he gets filled with so much joy it’s insane.

I feel like he'd like to go on beach dates a lot.

He'd try to introduce you to the fish.

Okay now focusing more on the child of Apollo part

My favorite thing about Apollo kids is how varied they can be.

Like you can be in that cabin for singing, poetry, medicine, archery, etc.

You can find every single type of person there and I love that.

He’d love you for any hobby you have, honestly he just really likes how talented you are.

Percy would just really admire your passion and dedication to your craft.

BUT if you were a medic then he would just love to have you fussing over him whenever he gets an injury.

Sort of like Leo I do believe he’d go to the infirmary just for little scraps in order to see you.

For my musically talented Apollo kids, I think he loves to hear you playing your instrument / hearing you sing more than any other melody ever.

Honestly after all he’s gone through your music helps him calm down and feel relaxed.

Sometimes he’d just sit by when you’re practicing but ends up falling asleep by how peaceful he feels

Might go one step further and add that I believe this could also somewhat fit with the poets.

The way your voice sounds when you recite your poems leaves him so <3

Sometimes he thinks your dad is pretty annoying but, in the end, one of the nicer gods.

Overall, definitely one of the sweetest bfs ever who would literally do anything for you!

I'd say he'd even fight a god but honestly he'd probably do that just because (already does).

[lestink]

IVE GOT MORE THUNDER LEGION/RAIJINSHUU CRUMBS THAT IM GOING TO EXPLODE ABOUT

CW: FAIRY TAIL GAME 2 SPOILERS BELOW

tagging @freedjustinemywife and @selfawarecobalt (also if youre reading this come join us on the thunder legion community)

Before I get to the goods I wanted to point out something that made me laugh:

Wendy has often said in the game how much she admires Laxus’ kinder side (not her calling him the gay uncle of the guild) but whenever she does so MIRA almost always reminds her and the player that ‘nah i remember when u did this shit back in 2009’ ITS SO FUNNY

OK NOW HERES A CUTE EXCHANGE OF ELFMAN GIVING LAXUS GIFTS (i don’t understand the occasion tho, xmas during the war?? idkk) FROM THE THUNDER LEGION

my freakout thoughts:

bixlow making a mini doll???? im gonna cry thats so fucking CUTE,,, imagining bixlow sitting down to carve one out for laxus with a silly face,,ough,,bixlow is so sweet i NEED TO SEE HIM

freed knitting a sweater.....ok so the entire thunder legion are all arts and crafts oriented ok i will explode. AND A PROTECTION ENCHANTMENT TOO?? the bodyguarding never stops even if he's offscreen he's still got it FUCKK i miss my wife. and youre so right elfman WEAR IT LAXUS U DICK. also,,,,laxus recognized the sweater from the pattern itself so freed has knitted things with that similar pattern before...AUGHHHHH freed knitting the thunder legion and laxus outfits what if i suddenly combusted

EVERGREEN MAKING A STEWWWW and the elfever crumbs with chef evergreen and taste tester elfman,,,man if elfman doesnt marry her I WILL. this is quite possibly the softest and coziest little side event ever, where the hell is the thunder legion when i'm freezing in my apartment....

ALL 3 OF THEM GIVING LAXUS CASH JUST IN CASE ok this reminds me of the talks i had with @yellow-guiding-lantern about the thunder legion being the keepers/the only ones who could reign in rabid dog laxus, this just affirms whats TRUE theyre taking care of his dumb ass

moving on:

youre so right lucy the thunder legion DOES love him im so sick of them /aff (if i dont see them soon i will make it on international news)

THUNDER LEGION FORMATION CRUMBS????

i always did wanna learn how they got to be together and though i know the gaiden had its own interpretation i wondered how else it could have happened, and this is a very interesting and different approach the way FREED is the one who wants to fight laxus first (angry freed????? CAN I SEE????)

i have so many questions like?? why did he get so angry??? did laxus break a rule that enraged him?? like maybe threatening the safety of others??? did freed give laxus a good fight?? were bixlow and evergreen involved at this point??? and what does that mean freed only wanted laxus for his strength???? elaborate??????

OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDD

mira is so funny the way she can quickly uncover laxus' facade of trying to stay tough and hard, in the source material + game she's always been the anchor of staying true to one's feelings. in other words, she's all "aaaaaaahhh i caught you caring"

elfman catching laxus blushing too HAHAHA his whiteness will work against him. (also- manhood????? was there no other word they could have used???)

NOT TOO MUCH ON THE THUNDER LEGION LUCY??? to be fair i also love gift giving, i love to give my friends lots of little things i know they'll love so i don't see the "obsessiveness" of this.

MY TAKEAWAYS:

Mirajane Strauss will forever be Laxus' greatest opp (undefeated streak)

the Thunder Legion are the best gift givers in the guild, they're the equivalent of the rich aunties who want to spoil you rotten

I want to see no more Freed characterization calling him a pushover or cheerleader for Laxus, he's literally the one consistently defying his arrogance ON AND OFF SCREEN🗣️

Laxus and the Thunder Legion are private people, but everyone can see their love and devotion to each other and I think that's so beautiful

If I don't see new Thunder Legion content soon WHERE I CAN ACTUALLY SEE THEM another CEO will pay for it

[iamgonnagetyouback]

congrats on 1k i love your writing sm !!! and your ideas are so creative !! i have a story in a shell request, so my fav character is fred weasley and i think paper rings is so him coded !!! with like a cute classic best friends to lovers or childhood friends to lovers trope ?! tyyy

Thank you so much!! Your love and support mean the world to me, and I absolutely adore your idea!

ivy's 1k celebration 🦪 navigation 🦪 characters

ˋ°•*⁀➷ FRED WEASLEY best friends to lovers with paper rings by taylor swift

The sun dipped low in the sky, painting the horizon in shades of burnt orange and soft pink. You and Fred sat on the back porch of the Burrow, laughing over something ridiculous George had done earlier, your cheeks aching from smiling too much.

In your hands was a crumpled, hastily folded ring Fred had crafted out of a piece of parchment.

"Do you take this totally not-official paper ring as a sign of my undying devotion and best mate status?" Fred grinned, holding out the ring dramatically.

You rolled your eyes but extended your hand. "Well, how can I say no to such a romantic proposal?"

Fred slid the paper ring onto your finger, wiggling his eyebrows. "Fits like a dream."

You glanced down at it, biting your lip to hide the smile tugging at your mouth. "You know, most people would use actual jewelry for this sort of thing."

Fred shrugged, leaning back on his elbows. "Nah. Those people don’t get it. It’s not about the shiny stuff—it’s about the gesture."

His voice softened as he added, "Besides, it’s not just about this ring, is it? It’s about us. You and me, always having each other's backs."

The laughter faded, replaced by a silence that hummed with unspoken words. You turned your gaze to Fred, the familiar warmth in his eyes sending your heart into overdrive.

"Fred—"

"Yeah?" he asked, leaning closer.

"I—" You faltered, caught between the fear of ruining everything and the overwhelming desire to just say it.

Fred smiled gently, brushing his thumb over your knuckles where the paper ring sat. "I know."

And before you could ask what he meant, he closed the gap, his lips pressing softly against yours in a kiss that tasted like summer and promises of forever.

[colonelarr0w]

Yay requests time!

Can we get bratty!mean!reader with simp/lover boy yuuta or yuuji? Like, reader is always rolling her eyes or ordering him around and he just looks at her with heart yes and does as she wants. But obviously, everyone has their limits so sometimes they need to reel her back in and let her know that's nothing you treat someone that you love and loves you even more.

i dont know if you can tell but I'm getting brain rot about this and it's all I'm thinking about every night.

Sypnosis - How would !Loverboy Yuuji fare with a girlfriend who quite literally would step on him?

Warning(s) - foul language, mention of canon violence, Reader is kind of a bitch (but she does a 180 I promise)

A/N - !Loverboy Yuuji enjoyers rise up, I crafted this just for y'all.

! PIECE BEGINS UNDERNEATH THE CUT !

To be fair, when Yuuji falls in love, he falls in love hard. Loving Yuuji is the equivalent of adopting a golden retriever that will be perpetually stuck to your side in any given circumstance. And that means any circumstance — including if you’re working to exorcise a spirit. Yuuji just wants — or rather needs — to be by your side no matter what.  

Yuuji is also the kind of person to blindly follow orders. He doesn’t really have any regards for any consequences that may follow his actions — which has definitely resulted in multiple visits to Shoko. That, of course, includes any and all orders that you give him.  

Obviously, your “orders” aren’t as dire as, say, instructions given by Gojo before he sends Yuuji on a mission. But that doesn’t mean that he’ll show even an ounce of thought or hesitance. He does — quite literally — anything and everything for you. That includes carrying your backpack, carrying your bags when you shop, cutting your food when you have dinner together, tucking you in when you have move nights, buttoning you jacket when it’s cold outside, literally everything. 

Does he care that sometimes your tone gets a little snippy with him when you ask him to do something for you? No. Does he care that you scold him if he does something wrong? No. Does he care that you roll your eyes at him when you catch him staring? No.  

Because at the end of the day, you mean more to Yuuji than anything else. He can handle Cursed Spirits that can — and honestly have — ripped him limb from limb. Surely he can handle a bit of eye-rolling from his beautiful girlfriend. 

Megumi and Nobara can’t help but tease Yuuji for his behaviors, Nobara more so than Megumi. She just enjoys pointing out the fact that you could tell Yuuji to jump and he would reply back with, “How high?” 

But that doesn’t mean that they don’t see the small points of toxicity that peek through your actions. Sure, it was sweet that Yuuji would be willing to do anything and everything for you — but it felt like the things that Yuuji was doing went unreciprocated. 

It was Nobara then that approached you because, in all honesty, Yuuji was one of her closest friends. And she would be damned if she was going to stand by and just watch as he was treated like someone’s lap dog. Don’t get her wrong, she loves and adores you too, but she can see where people’s toxic traits lie.  

She ends up pulling you aside following one of your training sessions together, noticing in her peripheral the way that Yuuji pauses upon seeing you be dragged away by Nobara. You don’t protest to her actions, allowing your classmate to drag you underneath the school’s entry archway. Nobara keeps her fingers locked around your wrist as she inhales deeply, not wanting her emotions to accidentally get the better of her — the last thing that she needed was for you to get cross with her. You were deadly in that regard after all. 

“(Y/N), listen to me, yeah? You’re an amazing person, and I know that you likely don’t mean to come off as brash or as harsh as you sometimes do, but we all notice. And by ‘we all’, I mean me and Fushiguro. Yuuji is — for lack of a better word — devoted to you, he loves you a whole lot ‘kay? Again, I know that you don’t mean to be rude to him sometimes, but that’s what we all see. So try and lay off of the eye rolling, yeah?” 

Nobara smiles once she’s finished speaking, releasing the grip that she had on your wrist and placing both of her hands on her hips. You stand there in silence for a moment, mulling her words over in your head before reflecting on all that you had ever said and done to Yuuji. 

You realize at that moment that Nobara was right — Yuuji had only ever been kind and loving to you. And you were just…bitchy right back. You felt like slapping yourself across the face, how could you have let that behavior go on for so long?  

“God — you’re right Nobara. I’ve been — I’ve been pretty terrible haven’t I?” 

After that conversation with Nobara, you begin to plan in your head how to make it up to Yuuji — starting with his favorite snacks and movie series. Your dorm is suddenly nothing but blankets and pillow forts, adorned with the string lights that you usually kept your room decorated with. On the television is the selection screen for the Deluxe Edition of the Human Earthworm movies — which you knew were Yuuji’s absolute favorite.  

Once you finished setting everything up, you text Yuuji to swing by your dorm — which he agrees to without hesitation. Within five minutes of sending the text, Yuuji is knocking repeatedly at the door, smiling widely when you pull it open. You invite him inside, placing your palms over his eyes and repeating that you had a surprise for him.  

You lead him to the pillow/blanket fort set up in front of the small television in your dormitory, guiding him to sit down. You take a seat beside him, removing your hands from his eyes and presenting your little movie setup with a grand flourish of your hands.  

“You did all of this for me?”  

“Yeah — think of it as an apology for me being so demanding of you all the time.” 

Yuuji turns to you, wrapping his arms around you and tugging you firmly to his chest, tucking you into him and burying his nose into your hair. You nestle yourself in his embrace, wrapping your arms around his neck and smiling to yourself as he holds you.  

After a good five minutes of sitting in Yuuji’s arms, you disconnect yourself to play the first Human Earthworm movie, smiling as Yuuji excitedly begins to ramble. 

With a lovesick smile of your own, you settle in with your boyfriend, nibbling on your snacks and simply enjoying his company.  

[devilst0at]

I do really want to comfort Dale, especially since we know that he is tired and sad and lonely and so exhausted from working for the devil, but…

I think I need him to comfort me even more. I need him to be there for me so bad, I don’t know what it is but he seems like such a comforting presence. It sounds funny, because obviously he’s meant to be a frightening character, a villain. But he genuinely seems like he would be so sweet and so good at comforting and taking care of someone. I think maybe I partially feel this way because I’m chronically lonely/have trouble socially and generally don’t receive as much comfort from others as I need, so a character like Dale who I adore so much and who is even weirder and more outcasted than me just seems like the perfect person to be there for me when I need it. Not sure if anyone else feels that way.

I would kill to just be friends with him, it doesn’t even have to be romantic though I obviously would want it to be, I just wanna talk to him and tell him everything and seek comfort and advice from him, almost like a guiding figure (I mean he is much older than me lmao I’m 21) or at least like someone I know I could go to for help or comfort. Our relationship would be a bit odd considering our age difference but I think it would make it even more comforting, he has more experience in the world than me. I have absolutely no idea what about his screentime/character says that he would be a good friend, I just have a feeling. I feel like if I started crying in front of him he would hold me so nicely and shush me and do that cute silly little ‘ohh’ and pity me and pet my head until I stopped crying. I could never be anxious or scared with him. Which again is so funny because he is supposed to be scary but I’m very serious.

And he’s silly! He would be able to make me smile and giggle when I need it the most and he’d take me out shopping and he’d do my makeup for me and he’d carry me to bed whenever I’m too tired to get up from the couch. If I ever felt rejected or weird or self conscious I could go to him and we’d rejoice in each other’s oddness. I just know it. I wanna go shopping together and then listen to music on the way back, and I’d scream the lyrics so loud my throat would hurt and I’d tire myself out, and then I’d rest my head on his shoulder the rest of the way home and smile and fall half asleep.

Dale to me is someone who got caught up with the devil, perhaps due to needing that guiding or powerful force in his life or seeking something that was missing from his life, perhaps love or acceptance or meaning, and started doing all these awful things for the devil because it’s what he had to do, even though it’s not in his nature. He acts out of service to Satan, not out of genuine malice towards others or the urge to hurt or kill - just love and devotion to Satan, and I feel that underneath this web he’s caught himself up in, he is a sweet, gentle person trapped and dampened by evil influence (Satan to me is not entirely evil, it’s more nuanced than that, but obviously the act of killing innocent people is evil). He’s a creative, and that’s how he does his work, as is his nature - if he is to kill, if he must, he’ll do it artfully and distantly, make beautiful things crafted with love and care to be the devices of death.

To a normal person it may be hard to understand, but he’s someone I really wish I had in my life and I would just kill to curl up into his arms after a long day and stay there as long as I needed. I’m definitely one to see the good and the sweet in awful, broken things. I see so much beauty in him and I really feel the softest, purest affection for him ❤️‍🩹

[marshmallowprotection]

hellooo i saw in one of your fics abt jumin and sevens friendship you mentioned about how seven sees the rfa as family but when push comes to shove he will always choose saeran.

Is sevens mc the same as rfa? Or is she equal to saeran, i honestly cant imagine them being same as saeran cus the brotherly luv those two have is alot more deep rooted~ but then i cant imagine seven ever hurting mc either afterall they are his lover.

I hope iam making sense here sjsbkwn ig iam curious what seven would do in that situation since i never see anyone talking about it. Take care ^^

Saeyoung's MC is equal to Saeran in Saeyoung's eyes. He would drop people for you and Saeran if he had to. There would be no hesitation on his part. Saeyoung is going to do everything in his power to make sure his baby brother's safe AND he's going to do everything in his power to make sure his MC is safe.

Saeran is his brother, his mirror image, and he wants to see his brother be safe and happy. Saeran has spent too long miserable, alone, and hurting. He has a brother who wants to be there for him, and that brother won't let anyone manipulate or abuse him on his watch. Never again will Saeran know that pain.

You are his partner, his best friend and lover, and he truly wants to experience what it feels like to be selfish and alive with you. You're both equally important to him, and he'd do anything to keep you safe and happy. He can't put one of you over the other when you mean so much to him. You're his family. Sure, the RFA is his family, too, but at the end of the day, even if he lost them, as long as he has his brother and you, he'll be okay.

The only area where his devotion to protecting the most important people in his life could run into trouble is if Saeran and MC don't get along. That is to say, if the MC is fearful of Saeran or bothered by the events that occurred that brought them to the RFA. Saeyoung will be at odds with himself if he has to craft two houses for the safety AND happiness of his family.

He wouldn't want to force you to be around his brother if you're afraid of him, but... it's difficult to protect his family (I.E. you and Saeran) if he's forced to navigate between two worlds. To be torn away from his brother would be torture. He can't go through that again, and if you're in a position where you've gained his trust and love, he will take your feelings into consideration, but if you were to force an ultimatum and say, "It's me or Saeran"?

He's not choosing you, I'll tell you that right now. He will thank you for being there for him, for supporting him, but if you think he's going to send his brother away to make you happy? You don't understand him at all. This is a man who has sacrificed everything over and over again for his brother's peace. If you're going to hinder Saeran's ability to be safe (from their father and the threat he still poses)? He can't be with you, no matter how much he loves you.

He would rather be alone for the rest of his life romantically than live another miserable day without knowing where Saeran is, and that he is safe from harm. Saeyoung doesn't want to hurt your feelings but... yeah.

Nobody is going to make him live without his brother ever again. It's one thing if (after Saejoong Choi is dealt with) Saeran wants to move into his own place not far from Saeyoung. But, it's another to be put in a position where your brother could die if he's sent packing. For a man who has fought to keep his brother alive his entire life, he's not about to send Saeran to his grave because his partner told him that he can either send Saeran away or stay with them.

It's okay if you're nervous around his brother or you need time to figure out how you feel about Saeran. He won't force you to be close to Saeran if you don't want to be, but... at the same time, he wants to see his family together in the same room. Saeran likely has his own complicated feelings about you, too. He did try to kidnap you, and he put you in harm's ways more than once. You both need time to get to know each other, and Saeyoung's willing to take his time with this to make sure you're both safe and comfortable.

[lucky-clover-gazette]

kings rising highlights & annotations

chapter 1

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

A hiss of a rock, thrown. Nikandros came up off his knees, drawing his sword. Damen flung out a hand in a motion for halt, stopping Nikandros instantly, his sword showing a half-foot of Akielon steel.

nik. it's a rock. chill the fuck out.

Damianos, prince-killer. His mind, used to battlefield decisions, took in the sweep of the courtyard, and made the commander’s choice: to minimise losses, to limit bloodshed and chaos, and to secure Ravenel. The Veretian guards were beyond his orders, and the Veretian people . . . if these bitter, furious emotions could be soothed among the Veretian people, he was not the one to soothe them. There was only one way to stop what was about to happen, and that was to contain it; to lock it down, to secure this place once and for all. Damen said to Nikandros, ‘Take the fort.’

i like how the book starts immediately with a very clear example of how the status quo has irreversibly changed. damen has no choice but to act as akielion (akielon? whatever) prince/commander, because that’s how everyone sees him now. even if he hasn’t changed at all from how he’d been five minutes ago

Guymar purposefully spat, and for his trouble was backhanded hard across the face with a mailed fist by the Akielon soldier. Damen let it happen, aware of what would have happened if a man had spat on the ground in front of his father.

i think what i said at the end of book 2 holds true here - damen spent prince’s gambit in the romance genre with interruptions from the war/politics genres, but with laurent’s (presumed accidental) outing of him as prince he’s now forced to live in the same world that laurent’s been in for the past two books. like “yep gotta let my former friend and ally get slapped because politics. man if only laurent had known that i was the prince, we could have avoided this :/“

‘We don’t stand together,’ said Guymar. ‘You betrayed our Prince.’ And then, as though he almost couldn’t bear to say it, ‘You had him—’

in all senses of the phrase, laurent very much had damen

Damen said, ‘I made him a promise.’ ‘And when he learns who you are?’ said Jord. ‘When he learns that he is facing Damianos on the field?’ ‘Then he and I meet each other for the first time,’ said Damen. ‘That was also a promise.’

damen reclaiming his princely authority while being so profoundly wrong… embarrassing

He had a sense of holding on, as though if he just held the fort, held these men together long enough to reach Charcy, then what followed— He couldn’t think about what followed, all he could do was keep to his promise.

he is so devoted to laurent that he doesn’t even stop to think that he’s been screwed over. me too damen, as a first-time reader. and even now, on a second read, i'm not sure how much i trust laurent. i've forgotten the intricacies of his plan and i didn't do a close-reading the first time around, so there are certain things i just can't say for sure at this point.

anyway, i actually think d&l have a ton in common in terms of how they express and demonstrate devotion. they both have bleeding hearts, it’s just that laurent’s has had a much longer time to harden. the way he assesses and handles situations is with a detachment he believes is necessary, so he doesn’t lose control, while damen throws himself wholeheartedly into everything he cares about. they have the same fierceness and passion, and while working together they help to balance out their approaches while applying that passion. starting the book out like this, with damen's devotion on full display and laurent's being majorly questioned, is very smart. because they both need to evolve from this point, in order to be good kings and good partners to each other.

like honestly, they both just need to sit the fuck down and tell the truth and accept that they both care about each other and they don’t have to be avoidant freaks about it. not that either of them (mostly laurent, but also damen in a different way) actually wants to do that. and that’s what the first like 1/3 of the book is about, as i recall: their petty divorce drama until they both give in and decide to figure out their shit.

The ghost of his father seemed to prickle over his skin. It was his father’s title, but his father no longer sat on the throne at Ios. Looking at the bowed head of his friend, Damen realised it for the first time. He was no longer the young prince who had roamed the palace halls with Nikandros after a day spent wrestling together on the sawdust. There was no Prince Damianos. The self that he had been striving to return to was gone.

“with real power comes real responsibility, and i don’t want any of that shit” - dennis reynolds, it’s always sunny in philadelphia

Damen took in Nikandros’s familiar, classically Akielon features, his dark hair and brows, his olive face and straight Akielon nose. As children, they had run barefoot together through the palace. When he’d imagined a return to Akielos, he’d imagined greeting Nikandros, embracing him, heedless of the armour, like digging in his fingers and feeling in his fist the earth of his home.

so they've definitely fucked right

Damen thought of the soldiers bursting into his rooms, of being lashed down in the slave baths, of the dark, muffled journey by ship to Vere. He thought of being confined, his face painted, his body drugged and displayed. He thought of opening his eyes in the Veretian palace, and what had happened to him there. ‘You were right about Kastor,’ Damen said. It was all he said.

nice vs. good theme breakthrough!

He heard of his own body, wrapped and taken in the processional through the acropolis, then interred beside his father.

okay so which dead palace employee/slave got to posthumously cosplay as damen’s corpse

He heard Kastor’s claim that he had been killed by his own guard.

copying the regent's homework

To the Kyros of Delpha, Nikandros, from Laurent, Prince of Vere.

"hey girl,"

The letter was old. The writing was old. Laurent must have sent the letter from Arles.

see my previous breakdown from book 2 chapter 21 about how laurent literally failsafed losing the only living person who loves him with this gambit

It made tactical sense, in a horrifying way, for Laurent to have made an alliance with Nikandros. Laurent had always been capable of a kind of ruthless pragmatism. He was able to put emotion aside and do what he had to do to win, with a perfect and nauseating ability to ignore all human feeling.

i mean i think there was feeling there. making the alliance also was a way for laurent to dispose of damen, returning him to his people so the regent couldn’t use him to torture laurent. because at that point i’m not sure if laurent wanted damen dead, but he definitely wanted him gone. and he’d assumed that damen would want that too

In return for aid from Nikandros, the letter said, Laurent would offer proof that Kastor had colluded with the Regent to kill King Theomedes of Akielos.

okay yeah THAT’S GOOD. and it explains how laurent gets himself in his situation in the next chapter, he’s following up on the promise by trying to get the info from govart/guion

The straightforward ease of it left him without words. He had forgotten what home felt like. He had forgotten trust, loyalty, kinship. Friends.

i’m glad nikandros is a real one. but damen please don’t regress so much that you forget straightforwardness and ease =/= truth and loyalty. oh fuck he can’t hear me

‘Your friend [Nikandros, talking about himself] is a fool and courts treason for a keepsake.’

yeah it makes sense that these two are besties

To gain everything and lose everything in the space of a moment. That is the fate of all princes destined for the throne.

this or a kingdom. guess he’ll kingdom

‘Kastor made me a slave. Laurent freed me. He gave me command of his fort and his troops, an act of trust for an Akielon he had no reason to elevate. He doesn’t know who I am.’

oh honey

‘The Prince of Vere freed you,’ said Nikandros. ‘You have been his slave?’ His voice thickened with the words. ‘You have served the Prince of Vere as a slave?’

this isn’t an hr complaint quite yet but it is a “nikandros takes out his phone and bitches on his private twitter moment” moment. which i think should be a tally as well. nikandros private twitter venting moment #1

He knew what they saw—a hundred images of slaves, submitting, bending at the hip, parting their thighs, the casual ease with which these men would have taken slaves in their own households.

back in book 1, when assessing the state of erasmus in torveld’s possession, i recall that damen assumes that veretians think that “there is no honour in submission.” implying that to damen in book 1, and akielons in general, there IS honor in a slave’s submission. but here, when their prince—a person they respect—is revealed to have been made a slave, they definitely don’t perceive it as an honor. so which one is it? whatever submission damen shows/showed laurent is voluntary and honorable by his own moral code. he hasn’t been groomed or brainwashed into submitting his own free will. get on his level or keep your judgment to yourselves, hypocrites

‘Does it shock you? I was a personal gift to the Prince of Vere.’ He had bared his whole forearm. Nikandros turned to Makedon, his voice harsh. ‘You will not speak of this. You will never speak of this outside this room—’ Damen said, ‘No. It can’t be hidden.’ He said it to Makedon.

i think damen can at least subconsciously see the hypocrisy here. and he’s indignant about it >:)

‘You were the Prince’s slave?’ Revulsion was stamped on Makedon’s face, whitening it. ‘Yes.’

'and tbh i’d drop the past tense i had the blacksmith keep this thing on me'

‘You—’ Makedon’s words echoed the unspoken question in Nikandros’s eyes that no man would ever say aloud to his King. Damen’s flush changed in quality. ‘You dare ask that.’ Makedon said, thickly, ‘You are our King. This is an insult to Akielos that cannot be borne.’

and now damen’s piiiiiisssssssed. i think partially because he knows it was the best night of his life and doesn’t want to be shamed for it, lol

‘You will bear it,’ said Damen, holding Makedon’s gaze, ‘as I have borne it. Or do you think yourself above your King?’ Slave, said the resistance in Makedon’s eyes. Makedon certainly had slaves in his own household, and made use of them. What he imagined between Prince and slave stripped it of all the subtleties of surrender. Having been done to his King, it had in some sense been done to him, and his pride revolted at it.

okay yeah damen’s totally ending the institution of slavery once he's king and the gradual development of changing his mind has been both demonstrated effectively and completely earned throughout the past two books. i think this is why some of the cruelest things in book 1 happen to damen in the first place—they had very little to do with the development of his relationship with laurent, and everything to do with this personal arc for damen’s character. moments like this are the payoff to all of that subtle and consistent work. damen’s wake-up call of being treated like a slave and realizing it’s not what he thought, now transferring to his fellow slave-owners like a moral salve (not a typo for slave. like medicine).

The plan he had developed with Laurent was simple,

ARE YOU SURE

Damen’s men were the bait.

damen sees those red flags and just keeps pushing forward

It struck its front hoof on the cobbles, as though seeking to overturn a stone, arching its neck, perhaps sensing, in the manner of all great beasts, that they were on the cusp of war.

do you think damen and laurent’s horses miss each other

But Jord and Huet. Lazar. Scanning their faces, Damen saw who they were. These were the men of the Prince’s Guard, with whom Damen had travelled for months. And there was only one reason why they had been released from confinement. Damen held up a hand, and Jord was allowed through, so that for a moment their horses circled each other. ‘We’ve come to ride with you,’ said Jord. Damen looked at the small clump of blue now gathered before the rows of red in the courtyard. There weren’t many of them, only twenty, and he saw at once that it was Jord who had convinced them, so that they were here, mounted and ready. ‘Then we ride,’ said Damen. ‘For Akielos, and for Vere.’

<3

The uncertain terrain was a valley of doubt, fringed by trees and dangerous slopes.

“the uncertain terrain was a valley of doubt” great line

Damen would never bring men into this kind of disadvantage without a counter plan.

SSFGHYSUDGFYSUDF

If he just did that, just kept to his promise, then after—

now damen’s the one being controlled by his emotions and desperation. oops!

‘If we do that, and your Veretian doesn’t arrive, we’ll all be killed.’ ‘He’ll be here,’ said Damen.

cringe

Laurent had never planned to come. That was what the scout was screaming, right before an arrow took him in the back. ‘This is your Veretian Prince exposed for what he is,’ said Makedon.

so i know that having akielos show up was laurent’s plan, but i forget if laurent had EVER intended to show up at charcy, or if the plan was always to screw damen over. like laurent tells damen that was the plan, after the fact, or at least doesn’t apologize. because he's a petty bitch and mad at damen for lying and doesn't want to talk about the fact that he got tortured. but i still think that laurent could have intended to be there, just with the twist of damen being exposed, if he hadn’t been held up and injured. after all, the akielos allyship plan has been a thing since vere, but the charcy plan was in response to something laurent 100% did not see coming. laurent couldn't have ended the snowball effect of his own gambit by the time he realized he liked and trusted damen, but he could only have planned charcy after they bonded for almost an entire book. they're two different plans, by two slightly different laurents. not that damen can really see that right now.

i don’t know, i always tend to give laurent more grace than he probably deserves. i WANT him to do better than he sometimes does, because he is a character i'm rooting for, and i know that he cares about being honorable in his own messy imperfect way. (me 🤝 damen).

but even if we're just looking at it without any kind of emotional attachment, it simply isn't characteristic of laurent to leave so many of his own people to die, if he can avoid it. so it would make sense for him to at least try to keep his promise of showing up. but then again, when he’s overwhelmed by emotions he does make uncharacteristically stupid choices. and he is pissed at damen, kind of, although i do think he feels much more endeared to him now than he’d been when he sent nikandros the letter from arles. so he must have meant to be there. but then AGAIN, maybe laurent still somehow assumes that damen was just using him as a fuck, especially since damen didn’t tell the truth even when they started having sex. because laurent is an idiot about feelings, and he doesn’t want to see that damen cares, so he convinces himself that damen deserves to be abandoned on the battlefield.

i don't knowwwwww, my heart says one thing and my literary analysis brain tentatively agrees (laurent meant to be there but couldn't make it), but i hate getting things wrong and laurent is a slippery bitch. and again, this is on a SECOND READ. i just don't remember, for sure, if laurent meant to be at charcy. i don't know if it's even ever said, or just meant to be read between the lines. this may seem negligent or shallow, but listen, the first time i read this book was a binge-read. i read it in a night, right after reading a good chunk of prince's gambit in the afternoon. i was paying a lot less attention to the war/plan stuff and just focusing on the dysfunctional gay people. what i didn't realize, in my haste, is that the war/plan stuff adds an entire new dimension to the gay people's dysfunction. which is why i firmly believe that this is a series that needs to be read twice, at least. these are not romance books, they're a fucking psychological experience. they're like an escape room for your brain that just happens to have horny gay people inside.

Damen had no time to think before the situation was on him.

laurent in book 2: “i can’t think”

There was a dark logic to it. Have your slave convince the Akielons to fight. Let your enemies do your fighting for you, the casualties taken by the people you despise, the Regent defeated or weakened, and the armies of Nikandros wiped out.

and if it was laurent of book 1 or early book 2, that would have made perfect sense. but he made the charcy plan at the end of book 2 come onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. it can't be as simple as "laurent fully meant to screw you over," even if he didn't manage to show up as a result of his own plans that nobody else knew about. laurent took two steps forward at the end of book 2, trusting damen enough to emotionally and physically be intimate with him AND making this charcy plan with him. i think it makes sense for him to have taken one step back, in not actually telling damen the full truth about the alliance or laurent's own sidequest that ends up getting him captured and injured, but i just don't think he took TWO entire steps back, by putting damen and his men in a deadly situation with zero intention to help. that's too simple for him, both in an in-universe sense and in a "this is how good storytelling (which pacat can at this point be reasonably trusted to do) works" sense. it has to be something in between, even if damen and laurent assume/claim otherwise.

Damen found himself alongside Jord. ‘If you want to live, ride east.’ White-faced, Jord took one look at his expression and said, ‘He’s not coming.’

jord stays losing

[googleincognitomode]

thg head canons

gale is afraid of thunderstorms: it started as a child when he had a bad night as a child. he may hate storms, but enjoys the rain. cuz he thinks the rain cleans the world, removing all the coal n smoke from his home district.

katniss has pretty handwriting. i thought about after her n peeta were adding to her family’s old book: he drew and she wrote. this is in contrast to peeta’s handwriting. his is blocky and all capitalised. it’s okay, but can get very messy very quickly

peeta is really good at braiding and doing ppls hair. he braids katniss’ hair and styles his daughters hair for school

madge’s paternal grandma was from the seam- or at least mostly. her dad is described as having dark hair- something no-native towns people have. (this might be a slight stretch if things!)

gales best friend is thom. they were childhood best friends and very very close. they are the most loyal of friends and try incredibly hard to protect/care for the other. gale may be katniss’ closes friend, but he never does call her HIS best friend (more like hunting partners). and i always thought he called his family and thom is his best friends

peeta is a lot like his mum. he has her mannerism and particular actions, but looks quite close to his father. his favourite person is his eldest brother, who always tried to sneak him some nicer bread when their mum went out of the house.

katniss is skilled with the violin/fiddle. she took it up after the war, since it has a bow and all that. she also hangs out with johanna and tried to learn how to do wood crafting and that. especially making bow and bird houses, just like her dad.

gale is a very skilled dancer. like he would often go to parties and do their traditional seam/town/d12 dances. he does it with his mum Hazelle to bring her some joy since he can’t buy her anything nice.

madge is also a very good dancer. But it’s more that she had to learn to, due to having all the Capitol citizens and having to attend banquets. i also think that she gets many gifts from them: dresses, ribbons and jewellery from her guest as a small gift. that’s why she had many things, not cuz her father can afford it but more so as a gift from the Capitol citizens

since all victors need a talent, I always imagine finnicks was poetry and johanna’s is wood carving. Finnick writes sonnets about annie to be incognito about his devotion. johanna makes carvings of her family and loved one. even fallen tributes too. annie’s would be something artistic too, possibly like jewellery making or crocheting since it requires tying lots of knots.

annie’s dad was a pearl farmer/merchant. she also had the a slightest valley girl accent: not annoying but it’s more endearing and sweet. like a Cher from clueless

johanna’s favourite holiday is/was Xmas. n since she lost her family, she doesn’t celebrate it as much. but she smtimes does make a yule log and sprinkles around pine cones after they went. though now after, she makes it more celebratory and does it with annie and mini-Finn. she gives him the most present, even when annie protest and tell her not to spoil him

[iskratempestmadness]

good afternoon/evening/or night, I have a request for you. Can you please write the reaction of 5 prisoners (antagonists of season 3 of "Baki") to the fact that S/O confessed in love to them ?? I hope you're doing well. Have a great day/evening/or night, and all the best !!! ❤

Hi, let's try to do it.

Yanagi:

• He will have a long process of acceptance and reflection. So get ready to wait, not forever of course, but for quite a long time.

• At first, this little varchunishka won't take your confession seriously. Well, think about it, he is a man of quite advanced age, who has killed many people in his path, completely devoted himself to martial arts. And then he confesses his love to such a peaceful and defenseless (for him you will be like that, even if it is not so) person like you. It's weird for him... And it's not entirely clear...

• and you'll have to convince him of your love with actions. Still, words mean little to him. Actions are much more important. So be sensitive to him and get ready to take care of him.

• Once he accepts your feelings, he will need to think about everything. And it will take a long time again. But you can also understand it. In the end, given the circumstances and his character, he may reject you corny out of pity.

• if he reciprocates you, then he will already take care of you. He is very sensitive, and will constantly analyze you to understand what you need (sometimes it may seem that he reads your mind)

• but the pitfalls don't end there either. Since you love each other, he perceives it as your merging. So his problems are your problems, his personal space is your personal space and vice versa. Sometimes he is jealous and moody.

• but if you talk to him, he will change his behavior, after all, he is not stupid, he understands you and can be sympathetic.

Dorian (before and after the injury) :

Before:

• Oh, believe me, this man is a true gentleman, so he will listen to you with all courtesy and attention.

• He needs a little time, but only a small amount. He just wants to make sure one last time.

• if your feelings are not mutual, he will politely inform you about it and offer to stay friends, which in his opinion is also a good option.

• If they are mutual, then he will not leave you in the unknown. He will talk about it a lot. He will also not leave you without a bouquet. It is difficult to call him a romantic, but he will try to be one. He's gentle and sweet to you.

• The only problem is that he is in prison, so you rarely see each other. But he always miraculously manages to give you gifts even while behind bars.

After:

• eeeeeeeee... Everything is more complicated here

• if you confess to him, there are two possible events:

1 he will not understand

2 he will perceive love as parental.

(most likely the second one)

• he perceives "I love you" from you as well as from his parents. It will make him happy, but no more. However, if you hammer it into him, he will take it as an axiom.

• if you start taking care of him in addition to words, then you will cause him affection, but no more. It's hard to call it love.

• although he will give you gifts in some way. He will share sweets, give handmade crafts. Maybe even draw you. However, I repeat, it is difficult to call it love.

Doyle:

• He is the easiest to deal with. He will immediately tell you his attitude towards you, he knows himself. Although... Even if he doesn't feel love for you, he will still try to date. And it is not clear what drives them curiosity or pity.

• he will be sweet, he will be easy, he will be gallant, he will be someone in whom it will be natural to love. It's kind of weird not to like your caring, charming boyfriend.

• but this candy-bouquet period will last a long time. He will take care of you for a long time, even too long. After all, he knows that he is not perfect and that his pitfalls will sooner or later be discovered.

• Sometimes his insides come out. And it is expressed in an emotional swing. One minute he's sweet and affectionate with you, the next he's distant and rude.

• you will also need to talk to him about this. And it's the hardest to fix. He's as stubborn as a sheep.

• but this trait of his character manifests itself quite rarely, so that most of the time he's just your sweet guy.

• and yes, jealousy... This guy is jealous as hell. Any man's look in your direction is interpreted incorrectly by him. And it's even worse if he talks to you. This infuriates Doyle. But this problem is solved much easier than an emotional swing. You just have to explain it to him a couple of times and it will stop.

Spec:

• poo-poo-poo... Heavily. He won't take it seriously. Like seriously? Him? He'd rather take it as another joke of yours than the truth. But he's going to try anyway.

• Although he will not always understand the situation during the relationship. He still won't realize that you're dating.

• However, there will be twice as many jokes and banter in your direction. Just think of it as his love language. But he also doesn't mind that you put it in too. He just likes to have fun.

• He will definitely bring you a couple of buns.In terms of your health and nutrition, he turns into a super caring mom. And it's very cute, but it doesn't quite fit his image... He really doesn't care much about it, he'll just keep spooning you and joking about how you look like a hamster after you eat.

• however, a person like him may have problems in a relationship. It's his brusqueness. He can come home covered in blood and say that just five minutes ago he killed a man and... He won't understand your scared reaction. He may well kill in front of you, and to be honest... He won't care about your reaction to this. He just does it and accept it that way.

• You know, this guy can be cunning and devious, but he can also be simple. So he doesn't really care about dates and gifts (they will most likely be stolen).

Sikorsky:

• well, like... He's a simple guy... If you tell him that you love him, he will answer right away... And there are only two options, and there is no "I'll think about it" option among them. He'll just talk about his feelings. Of course, in case of refusal, it will sound rude, but it will be true.

• if he answers in the affirmative, then this is a 100% guarantee that you will start receiving a lot of gifts. This is his love language, so welcome.

• in fact, if it may seem that this is a guy who will try to impress you and somehow stand out, then this is not quite true. He's a pretty calm guy with his family, it's enough for him that you tell him how pumped up and strong he is while he was helping you around the house.

• This guy is Russian. Yes. Everyone knows that. But it's important now. And like an ordinary Russian guy, he definitely has a car that he inherited from his grandfather or from a friend of his grandfather, which he drives. It may seem to someone that this junk is unlikely to be able to leave the garage, but in fact he takes good care of the car, so it is in excellent condition... So the most intimate moment for him is when he lets you into his car, when he shows you his passion. And for him, the height of romance is when the two of you eat on his understated six, to the store or on a picnic.

• and he will definitely come up with a nice nickname for you in Russian. For example, "Мое маленькое счастье" or "Зефирка". By the way, if you're eager, he won't mind teaching you Russian at all.

• His pitfalls? Mmmm... If you look at him closely, he doesn't express much emotion. He will never ask for your help, he will never tell you about the problems. In a good way, he needs a person who will help him, but ask for help... It's a weakness for him. Of course, you can help yourself to cope with this, but it's better to take him to a specialist.

[mx-myth]

Okay hear me out red string of fate mlc au (rough timeline) (you only see your string(s) and who they connect to but no one else's)

(This is long as fuck actually)

Li Xiangyi who grows up in the streets with two strings. One is red and sometimes he thinks about following it to see where it leads but he never does. He meets shan gudao and eventually gets picked up by his shifu (I forgot what he calls him in the show, so) and at some point learns that the grey string tied in a bow on his opposite hand means his other zhiji hasn't been born yet.

(Lxy doesn't think anything about this until one march morning years later the string bursts into colour and unravels forward when he's training (you can fight me on this but fdb is ABSOLUTELY a spring baby born in the morning. Something about the coming of new life and the dawn of a new day and how that's what he symbolises). Because of the mostly-romantic connotations of strings he's guilt-ridden over his zhiji being a decade (or thereabouts? I don't remember the actual age gap in the show) younger than him before he forcibly puts it out of his mind)

Fast-forward to when he meets qiao wanmian. They become close friends and basically everyone thinks they're fated. But a-mian sits him down to quietly tell him that she has no string, none at all, that they really aren't fated and never will be. And lxy, who, in the nights he lies awake, still is guilty about being ten years older than his youngest zhiji (he doesn't know whether his other one is older or younger than him, the string was already red by the time he was old enough to retain memories), lies and says he doesn't have a string either. But he wants to court her because he loves her. That part, at least, is true: li xiangyi loves qiao wanmian.

And then he starts the sigu sect and eventually meets di feisheng. Their first meeting is only in passing but they lock eyes and lxy sees not only the moment when it registers that they're zhiji but also the moment when dfs sees that he's walking arm in arm with a-mian. They both walk away none the wiser to each other's identities.

It's only when they meet for the first time as di-mengzhu, leader of the jinyuan alliance, and as li xiangyi, the number one swordsman in the jianghu, and cross swords does lxy truly realise what this means. Their string spools out between their bodies, fluttering away between their swords, as he realises that he and this zhiji of his are on opposite sides. That their string is the only thing that connects them across their unfathomable chasm.

(It isn't. Lxy doesn't know it but dfs admires his swordsmanship. Dfs thinks they have a lot in common via neili and fighting techniques and their devotion to their crafts but he thinks that lxy knows this. He doesn't say anything about it because he assumes that lxy knows this and also because it's common knowledge he and qiao wanmian are going to get married. So lxy never knows)

Afterwards lxy becomes consumed with red strings of fate. He obsessively starts searching for stories where the zhiji turn out to be enemies. He finds almost nothing (most of what he finds is enemies to friends, or worse, enemies to (friends to) lovers, and all of it he throws out in disgust) and in his frenzy he begins neglecting his relationship with a-mian.

The ultimate betrayal comes when lxy learns that dfs killed shan gudao. A-Mian just recently broke up with him and that combined with his zhiji killing his shixiong is what does it. It spells the beginning of the spiral of li xiangyi.

Switch to di feisheng. He'd thought they had an understanding and sigu sect and the jinyuan alliance were approaching peace talks but suddenly lxy is killing his members left and right. He has no idea what this is about until jiao liqiao congratulations him on killing shan gudao. He grunts in confusion but everyone talks it to mean he did it. So dfs just had to roll with it.

There's nothing he can do about it. Dfs sends people to investigate sgd's death and trains. There is a real and oncoming war soon and so he issues a challenge to duel lxy on the eastern sea.

(The war comes anyway)

(Di Feisheng loses something on that ship anyway)

He spends the next ten years while he's in seclusion recovering thinking about it. About lxy, the bright, brilliant zhiji who was never his. About the fact that he killed his own zhiji. About the moment when, as he sank into the water, he'd closed his eyes and thought that following his zhiji to the underworld wouldn't be so bad.

Execpt that li xiangyi isn't dead. His string isn't white, is still as red as the robes he wore, and it still leads somewhere he doesn't know. Dfs takes a sort of pride in this. Of course lxy wouldn't die in their duel. Of course he's strong enough to come out of it alive.

He doesn't really think about his xiao-zhiji at all, except when he touches that string and wonders if lxy is also connected to this person. He wants to meet them someday to test their skills, to take them to meet lxy. In seclusion dfs makes that deal with himself - he'll make his zhiji meet, and then he'll leave them with each other, because for all he knows, li xiangyi still hates him.

(I picture it going dfs > lxy/llh > fdb age-wise, with dfs only being a some months older than lxy/llh. But neither of them know that because of their childhood circumstances)

He leaves seclusion with this goal in mind.

And then he figures out - as a six-year-old, no less - that his zhiji have already met each other. That they've been traveling in tandem for months and have been solving cases. That li xiangyi is for some reason li lianhua (he knows why. The first thing jiao liqiao had said to him was congratulations on killing li xiangyi). That this stupid naïve little puppy named fang duobing is his xiao-zhiji.

Llh treats fdb kindly. He's mischievous and he teases fdb about inconsequential little things and dfs burns, because he still remembers lxy vividly wanting to kill him. He burns because this is side of him he's never seen and he burns because his xiao-zhiji is already used to this and he burns because he wants that too.

Whether he forgets that after he writes li lianhua's name on his hand doesn't matter then.

Switch to fang duobing. He's really fucking annoyed by the fact that no one is telling him anything. He's been traveling with llh for months, but despite the fact that they both know they're zhiji he won't talk about it. He won't even answer any questions about that kid.

Fdb isn't an idiot. His strings have been red ever since the day he was born. No way is some kid not even half his height his zhiji. The math doesn't work out.

(This is terrible, llh thinks. Of course he knows dfs has been alive because his string never turned white. Of course he recognized that little face as dfs' before he even saw the string connecting them. Of course he realised what was up as soon as fdb started pestering him about that kid and whether or not he has another string. Of course he knows dfs must've clocked it too.)

Fdb is severely skeptical when the Iron Head Slave or whatever llh claimed he was shows up and llh tells him they're old friends. But he's delighted to meet his other zhiji formally - right up until the point when they have their first chopstick battle over the food. At that point he becomes exasperated, and then he becomes ready to throw down once they begin arguing over who gets the guest bed.

(Fdb believes in respecting your elders but dfs is showing him absolutely no respect so guess what? He can sleep on the floor. Not even his handsome looks will help him win the fight)

(They end up squished together on the bed, both of them fuming because llh told then to just share)

(He and dfs never talk about their string, but they both observe enough to be able to tell that they're both connected to llh. They don't talk about this either, but sometimes llh will do something especially stupid or crazy or clever and they'll Look At Each Other)

(And then they can't about it, because A-Fei is learning from scratch)

But then he learns that A-Fei (who used to correct him when he playfully called llh da-ge, saying that he was er-ge and that fdb should be calling him da-ge, and fdb had gotten so tired of him and llh fighting with their eyes that he just straight-up called him gege with his most shit-eatting grin, to which dfs stared at him before dragging him outside to beat his ass) (who, after he lost his memories, would sleep in the bed with him with their backs against each other, and fdb loved feeling like his zhiji thought he could watch his back, and even if A-Fei was a stupid early riser and his half of the bed was always cold when he woke up it meant that he could always smell breakfast cooking downstairs) (who, after all, fdb felt like he was finally understanding) is actually di feisheng, villain of the jianghu, he feels like everything they'd had together was built on lies. He asks llh if he knew, if he knew that his (their, their zhiji, but llh still won't talk about it) zhiji was dfs, and then he has to go on with the knowledge that he was the only one kept in the dark.

And then when he learns that li lianhua was li xiangyi all along it really dawns on him then. His zhiji have known each other for years (and everyone thought they had killed each other on the eastern sea, and something about that is so wrong that fdb can't even think about it) and never told him the truth. They said that they were friends (llh said that) and that they knew each other for years (llh said that) and everything he knows about them is based on lies of omission and half-truths (that llh told him). He's torn and he's hurt and he's angry, angry at himself and everyone else.

(If he had known though, would things have stayed the same? Would he have laughed the same way if he knew the man he was wrestling in the dirt with was dfs, would he have still made the same suggestions on how to improve in cooking if he knew the man making the food was li xiangyi?)

(it isn't until li lianhua/li xiangyi are gone, though, that he realises that dfs was used by llh in the same way that he was)

Except that when li lianhua dies, there's two people who have to look at a red string that's supposed to be white.

(Switch to li lianhua. He crawls back from the underworld but what does he have left? The strings on his fingers are red, red like happiness, and aren't those two better off without him anyway? He's finally burned all the bridges of all of his relationships. It's time that he start over again.)

(Except that he stumbles upon the Lotus Tower anyway. He stumbles upon Di Feisheng and Fang Duobing and even as he asks them why they still even want him, he's crying, reaching for them, and there's tears on all their faces.)

[hyper-elastagirl]

Now that I've had some time to digest veilguard I gotta ask (and ramble about my quizzy below)

Like many of us, I have gotten extremely attached to my inquisitor (and her romanced option). She's been with me for 10 years! Adahlena Lavellan was the first oc of mine that I made and *stayed the same* and hasn't been drastically reworked as my interests evolved. She and my love of dragon age and our beloved egg headed apostate have been a solid presence in my life for 10 whole years. So I've had a lot of time to get to know her. I think our canon solavellan ending is sweet, like something out of mythology, but I'm not sure if Adah would be down for it?? Ramble below

Adahlena Lavellan dedicated her life pre-inquisition to mastering the art of the hunt and devoting herself to June. With a quick wit and nimble fingers from a young age, she excelled at archery and crafting tools and had a love for tinkering and dreaming of what technology was like in the age of the gods. After an unfortunate run in with Tevinter slavers as a youth, she became radicalized. Staunchly anti slavery (and anti human), she set her mind to improving upon existing tech and dreaming up new ways to keep her people safe. Needless to say she was not a happy camper in haven! Surrounded by humans (ew! Scary!) She was drawn to Solas as a friendly elven face. Her prejudice against humans slowly softened, but she was always drawn to Solas's witt and familiar comfort and loved picking his brain and asking questions.

She declined to have her vallaslin removed in Crestwood. Adah strongly believes that what is in the past is in the past and wears her shackle scars and injries from the slavers with pride. She is also still very attached to her clan and Dalish culture, their rejection would devastate her. Her refusal is based on the fact that they mean something else now, and she would not want to erase or tarnish a life's worth of positive memories.

Post trespasser, she disbands the inquisition and vows to try and change Solas's mind, and if that fails then to stop him. In between searching for him, Adah blows off steam taking out venatori slavers and befriends Fenris. They bond over relationship woes (a widower and divorcee) amd she promises to try and help find Hawke in the fade, as she feels horrible for leaving him there. (I think they should go on an eluvian hopping adventure together after meeting Rook and eventually rescue Hawke. And also Assan cuddles, everyone deserves Assan cuddles.).

She keeps a low profile. Still generally hesitant around humans, and hates the title "herald of andraste". The maker is not her god, the chant not her religion, none of it her culture. Sure, she's had good experieces, made lifelong friends, made world shattering discoveries, and enjoys exploring the world and learning all she can. But it's been 10 years and she is tired of the weight of it all and misses the early days in haven when it felt like a group of frieds against the world and she had an odd apostate to flirt with. Or the mindless comfort of her clan, daily hurts and tweaking her bow around a fire full of family.

So, the last two of her gods are felled and it's time to stop Solas once and for all, or die trying. He tries himself to the fade with blood magic resolves himself to keeping it intact. Canonically, a romanced Lavellan joins him and it is very sweet. But I'm not sure if that's Adahlena's vibe, you run into his arms and have a sweet fairytale ending (but yay for all of you who like it!)

I feel like she would be well within her right to not join Solas. 10 years is a really long time to be separated from a loved one, and Dread Wolf Solas is so different from the more wisdom-y Solas she knew and loved. Also, Varric :( I can imagine her instead spending the rest of her days tinkering with Bellara and the veil jumpers and exploring Arlathan.

If she did join him, it would be less for the sake of him and more for the sake of getting away from it all. In the prison there's no herald of andraste and the dread wolf, just Adahlena and Solas,normal people. I'm sure after a while with some funky ancient elven magic she could wander and learn from the ruins and tinkering and maybe even communicate with the world so she can keep in contact with her bestie Dorian. And for course, slowly fall back in love. This time with no secrets between them.

But idk, I still have a lot of thoughts to sort through. What about you guys how we feeling how would your Lavellan react if not 100% in line with canon? I'd love to hear

[bluedalahorse]

Fandom-leaning writing residency updates! I have been watching my classmates do their lectures (I give mine on Friday) and it’s giving me some thoughts about the Characters, as always:

One of my classmates lectured on how she tried to find the line between devoted in a way that makes you go “aww” and obsessed in a way that makes you go “yikes!” in YA love interests. Of course, she pointed out that this is more a continuum than a strict binary, and that it’s worth approaching these issues with curiosity rather than condemnation. Anyway, it gave me some more language for articulating why, for me personally, Wilhelm and August exist in roughly similar parts of the devoted-aww to obsessed-yikes continuum. I can accept wilmon endgame but I have to jump through some mental hoops to get there, and to be honest? It’s about as many mental hoops as I would have jumped through for saraugust, if saraugust was canon endgame alongside it. I think that explains why I came away from s3 ready to envision second chance futures and canon divergences where saraugust would work, and haven’t really wavered from that. I don’t think I will be posting about this (Wille and August’s places on the aww to yikes continuum) on main more but maybe I’ll talk about it with you one-on-one.

Another of my classmates talked about teen boys and friendships in the YA genre, and how those are usually portrayed as very simplistic and/or nonexistent-but-don’t-worry-about-it. He had some ideas about how to approach teen boy friendships from a craft perspective that were pretty insightful. I feel like Simon and Ayub lined up with some of what he researched, and even August and Nils and Vincent in season 3 were trending a lot more toward what my classmate talked about. I think that reaffirmed why all of those scenes were precious to me. It also once again reaffirmed for me what is and isn’t working in Wille’s platonic friendship—I use the singular because it’s really just Felice that he’s platonically close with, right? And we know that relationship needs to be more of a two-way street, and that he gave her on-and-off mixed romantic signals for about half the show. Does Wille know how to get genuinely close to people outside of a romantic context? Like does he cultivate the kinds of platonic friendships that are as important for emotional support as his romantic relationship with Simon, but different qualitatively? I feel like he struggles with it. I feel like August struggles with it too obviously, but the show wants us to know that, and wants us to find catharsis in him holding on to his friends and seeking out family at the end of the show. Whereas I think Wille’s arc would have benefitted from him learning to be a better friend and the narrative actually holding him more accountable for that. Maybe I’ll feel differently on a rewatch though.

Is this a Wille-critical post? Possibly. Honestly, he’s kind of a butt sometimes.

I like that he’s such a flawed character, though. Sometimes I wanna talk about it more, instead of explaining the flaws away.

[polutrope]

Reading people discussing Finwe's past, the Great Journey and the First Generations of elves, makes me wish more people would read The Nature of Middle-earth, I think it's the book with the most "information" about these things.

So true, Anon! All the Great Journey notes in NoMe offer some amazing characterisation tidbits for Finwe, and Elwe. Such as:

Ingwë, Finwë, and Elwë arrive in Valinor. They are indeed dazzled and overawed. Finwë (with “heretical” leanings) is most converted, and ardent for acceptance. (He has a lover, Míriel, who is devoted to crafts, and he longs for her to have the marvellous chance of learning new skills. Ingwë is already married, and more cool, but desires to dwell in the presence of Varda. Elwë would prefer the “lesser light, and shadows” of Endor, but will follow Finwë his friend.)

and:

Finwë speaks similarly [to Ingwë, of Valinor], but lays stress on the riches of knowledge and crafts in Valinor. Also he says that the Quendi have only seen “the skirts of the Shadow”, and have no idea of its dreadful power, or of the power of the Valar – and do not realize what the War (which the Valar are about to wage on behalf of the Quendi) will entail to Endor. His speech is very effective, as large numbers of the Quendi who cannot conceive of Valinor’s attraction are nonetheless frightened of what may befall them if they remain. Elwë says: “I will go with my friend, but I do not choose for anyone but myself. Let all my Folk do likewise. I do not see what harm dividing the Kindred will do – and it cannot be avoided, unless some are to be forced to do what they do not wish to do (to remain or to go). No doubt (indeed this is guaranteed) we, or any who wish, will be free to return to our homes when the War is over”. Also he says, “We are a great company – the most given to wandering afar. Let many of us at least go with the safe conduct of the Lord Oromë and see what Endor is like, and the Sea! We need not pass the shores!” ([?prophetic]!). His great point is the vision of the Sea. This moves the Lindar deeply.

(Tolkiens "([?prophetic]!)" note is so relatable.)

The chapters on the "March" are my favourites of the book, tbh.

My first introduction to NoMe was actually the freely available Mythgard Academy seminars on the book. I am not the kind of person who can just crack open a book like NoMe and start reading from pg. 1, so these videos were immensely helpful in getting me interested and helping me figure out what parts I actually wanted to spend time reading with a fine-tooth comb on my own.

[go-go-devil]

top 5 soulsborne NPCs... OTHER than patches. and top 5 games you hope to play next year!

Honestly I can't answer the second one since my autism is too unpredictable with when it allows me to actually sit down and play a new game, but I've got PLENTY of soulsborne npcs I'd love to gush about (besides the legend himself) so let's get to it!

Solaire:

May as well get the obvious out of the way lol. There's honestly SO MUCH going on with Solaire's character and motivations that goes far beyond the reasons he's usually so beloved. Yes, he's a genuine ray of sunshine willing to go out of his way to help us in such a desolate, cruel world, has a extremely pleasing/memorable design + wonderful voice acting, and is canonically bisexual. Obviously there's a lot to love from all of his surface level interactions.

...But he's also far more complex than simply being a nice person! He's a regular human devoting himself to an impossible mission solely for his own sake, and his doubts and desperation over it hits me so hard, especially in his regular ending T_T. I always found this quest to find his sun to be a metaphor for self-discovery as a means of fighting back against depression. I think Solaire knows fully well how terrible this dying world has become and has possibly even lived a bad life considering how happy he was to become undead and travel to Lordran, using his quest as a means of staving off the dread in his soul before it turns toward any suicidal inclinations.

No I'm not being edgy. I truly think all of this is intentional to his character, much like how I think the entirety of DS1's view on hollowing is a metaphor for depression and/or barring oneself from the world vs. actively opening up to it. That's why it's so important to support our grossly incandescent friend and Praise the Sun! ☀️

Griggs & Laurentius:

Decided to put them together since they're both very similar characters in my eyes.

I've found (on this site at least) that these two are often overlooked compared to most other DS1 characters, and honestly that's a damn shame since they've got so much to offer outside of their very useful magic teachings. For starters they're both sad, pathetic men who immediately love you for saving them from their own embarrassing predicaments which I think more games need for their male npcs lol. In all seriousness though, I always felt the game did a great job giving them so much character in each of their interactions; both in how close they grow to you and in how much they care about their respective crafts of magic. The pair also have similarly sad stories regarding what they lack, with Griggs's incredibly low sense of self-worth when he compares himself to Logan and Laurentius having always been an outcast even in his own community.

What I'm saying is that they're both much deeper (and also more tragic) characters than I feel they're given credit for, and I wish the rest of fandom would talk more about them.

Mephistopheles:

Sometimes a character doesn't have to be super deep for me to love them. Sometimes they can simply be an incredibly evil woman with a deep voice and great design who manipulates you until finally betraying you when you least expect it. 🐍⚜️🖤

With Mephistopheles I can actually understand why not too many soulsborne fans talk about her since she's probably the most obscure character in the entirety of Demon's Souls: one who requires you to have a pure black character tendency (which requires you killing non-hostile npcs to get) in order to even see her. As of now I haven't had the guts to try her questline yet, but I do plan on it trying it for my next DeS playthrough because holy hell is she hot- uh, I mean really a interesting character! Even though I said earlier I don't think she's as deep as several other npcs in the game, she's still a character with a lot of juicy lore surrounding the organization she runs and her choice of manipulating people into killing her targets instead of getting her hands dirty herself.

Also I fucking hate her Remake design oh my god it's so fucking bad I just wanna throw up everywhere what the fuck were they thinking T_T

Lucatiel:

My favorite character from DS2 (with Straid and Ornifex following very close behind), and of course she's basically just that game's Solaire equivalent with a gender bending design. My tastes are so predictable lol.

Besides her INCREDIBLE design and amazing voice acting, I feel out of all the npcs she does the best job at conveying this game's theme of connecting hollowing to identity. She comes into this land with so little regard for herself and already suffering early memory loss from the slow hollowing she's going through, and but unlike the other npcs (who are actually affected by the curse in any way) we have the chance to save her through our cooperation and going out of our way to engage with and get to know her. In this sense I see her as the reverse of Solaire's quest and honestly wish future soulsborne characters played around with the series' character tropes as well as she did.

Also she's trans. It's canon and I accept no criticism for saying this ;-)

Greirat:

I haven't finished DS3 yet but oh my soul do I love this little thieving rat man so much <3<3<3

I'm almost too afraid to say more yet since I haven't finished his questline and thus technically haven't fully absorbed him as a character yet. So far though he's done so much to endear me to him! His questline with the blue tearstone ring and overall connection to the Undead Settlement gets me soooooo emotional, as does his withered voice and charming demeanor despite all the horrors he's had inflicted on him and his few loved ones.

And of course that's not even getting into how a certain other npc interacts with him during his questline, but I cannot say any more since you specified not to mention him this time despite how much it PAINS me not to. All I'll say is that I am beyond disappointed in most of this fandom for sleeping on these two characters' relationship with each other -_-

[sanctus-ingenium]

answering asks vol 2.

'Smiths' can encompass enginesmiths (mercury), armoursmiths (mars), alchemists (saturn) and some others - generally a smith is someone who works with engines or metal in any capacity, whether by constructing them, managing their fuel, making armour, etc. all of them have a completely degendered role in the church. They are supposed to be wholly devoted to their craft & church, to the point of becoming almost unpeople, sexless.

-

I like pantera :) he's the main character beast sure (alongside leun) but he's got a lot of interesting history and has been through a lot.

To start out I do some basic sketches while looking at bestiary diagrams of the animal type. Then I draw the base proportions over a photo of the animal's skeleton. Once the joints are all in place and I could imagine it moving relatively freely, I pick a motif and design the armour shapes with that in mind (i.e leun's trefoils, taurus's waves). The motifs come from a bunch of sources - if I see them in medieval art around that animal, the beast's use purpose, the culture that built them and how it might differ in art styles to the 'basic' designs from the heart of the Mezian theocracy. Fun stuff like that.

As an exercise I have taken (human) characters from other settings and made holy beast versions of them, trying to imagine what animal it would be, what weapons, what armour designs, etc. Behold, Bowman:

It's a fun exercise! I recommend :>

-

Hi! Thank you for the suggestion! I actually did try to use OneNote for my thesis but I found that it ended up an extra step that got in the way. Instead I organised my reference papers manually (and wrote up all my bibliography by hand as well). I haven't heard of Notion so I might look into it :> as someone with adhd I find that the best way for me is to make it stupid easy, which is why discord works because I already use it for talking with friends and I like the mobile app.

-

SO true!! You can make whatever the hell you want forever and that sounds really cool, I'm glad I was able to help in some little way >:) (although, holy beasts are not robots.. i think the best description for them is just. exotic vehicles.)

-

lmao it's totally fine!! I love to talk

Sir Heaven had such a profoundly negative experience with Leun that he struggles with the concept of making anybody else do what he now considers to be his burden. He also feels that taking any new people inside Leun would endanger them.

The bishop of Salvius cathedral is the guy Heaven answers to, and his superior officer. The bishop has reported the matter to the pope and they're still working hard presenting new potential novices to Sir Heaven, but the thing is that Sir Heaven rejects them for seemingly valid reasons. He doesn't just say 'no I'm not taking apprentices', he says 'this one's reaction speed isn't good enough' or 'this one is too prideful'. But the longer he tries to keep this up, the more suspicion he heaps on his shoulders. If the time came, no, he would not be able to deny a direct order from the pope.

Ketjan was selected at random, one of a large group of other children who were not raised in the church. This is to ensure that there is no per-existing bias or knowledge of how holy beasts work. And he just happened to be the only one of the group who could master Leun's very demanding dialogue tattoo. The recruiting enginesmiths, who designed Leun's systems, were the ones to train him, but Ketjan was the one to write most of the procedures for operating Leun based on feedback from the dialogue.

-

Replies from THIS post:

@ospreyonthemoon @kicks-tiktaalik-back-into-water

Krokodilos had an amazing high-tech ventilation system that used active air pumps to keep it circulating. But exactly like the second reply says, it broke down frequently. And because of how it worked, the interior of croc had to be air-tight so that the pumps could work efficiently. And, of course, if it broke down, and it was air tight on the inside, it instantly became a more dangerous deathtrap than your average passively ventilated beast.

There were valves that could be opened in an emergency but these were only added after the first Incident. The pumps would break down from the fabric seals degrading, lose efficacy, and then the parts furthest from the pumps would suddenly not get enough air anymore because air couldn't be moved such a distance with faulty pumps. The reason his enginesmiths want him to be re-commissioned is because the only barrier was the material used for the seals, and they believe they can innovate some new materials or try something different and have it work. They were even thinking of trying natural rubber, which would have worked perfectly, but they never got approval for it.