#i think NG++ will be the real boy ending so i dont have to do this a 3rd time lmao

[currentlyonstandbi]

just nameless puppet left for the NG+ run, send me your strength

[neo-shitty]

reading drown made me remember how much music personally means to me. i used to have a hard time sleeping back in 6th grade to the point that it badly affected my studies bc for some reason im wide awake at night, felt tired but still fully awake which made me unable to focus in school. so of course i researched what i can do since i didnt want to tell my parents (nasa google kaya lahat 😌) long story short, try listening to music daw 😭 so i did bUT since listening to music wasnt really my hobby, i didnt know what type i should start off and at that time, kpop just recently became big LMAO it was like around 2017 i think. so i liSTENED TO EXO since it was the group that i have been hearing around school AHAHAHAHA the song was baby, dont cry btw. it worked surprisingly, music does calm one's nerves. i didnt understand the lyrics ofc but just by the melody, it made everything around me peaceful. whenever i feel anxious, sad, or stressed, music is the way to go :"> SO EON STORY KO PANO AKO NAGING KPOP FAN 😭😭😭 parinig aq ng iyo po 🙇

pero ofc there were times when it was pointless. there were times na listening to music just made everything worse, it would just be another noise that would frustrate me more. kAYA ANG NEED DITO IS ANO TALAGA U KNOW OO ung pwede mong sandalan hahahaha kaso wala ako non :"> so while reading napapa "sige chan ahhaha sana ol sige sana ol may y/n ng buhay nila hahaha" pero real talk, it would be nice to have someone you can share all your worries with without feeling guilty of wasting their time kaya stray kids hopefully you wont be afraid to love someone freely 😌

uy pati nakakaqiqil si jae dito >:( pero no, bias ko pa den siya sa day6 <3 and the scene where chan was guiding reader along while she was riding his skateboard is so cute huhu ,,, lia is the mc in checkmate, correct?

para akong ewan kc you posted this 11 pm right? i always like reading/watching while lying down sO humiga ako kaso pagkahiga ko, inaantok ako agad :"> enjoying something while youre at your most comfortable position feels so ✨heavenly✨ but it makes me too comfy that it drowns me in sleepiness. like i need to sleep muna bago ako maka focus 100% sa ginagawa ko lmao eh since end of the day eon, pagod aq :"< SMALL RANT LNGS KC BIGLA KO NAPANSIN KAGABI HAHAHAHAHA actually pati this afternoon, manonood sana ako hometown chachacha kaso pagkabagsak ko, tulog. kaya tinuloy ko na lang after an hour of sleep huhu

speaking of hometown, im on ep 10 and its the first ep where seungmin's ost was showcased ! im really excited marinig siya later pag finish ko nung ep na eon. BY THIS TIME EP 12 KA NA NOH?? HOPEFULLY EHE EHE and yes justice para sa mga nababastos >:( daming cases here in our school last f2f tbh. ewan like kadalasan, based on my experience, sinisisi nila sa pananamit ng mga babae 👁️👄👁️ i watched a video/show wherein a boy got caught sexualizing ung kaklase niyang girl tas he defended himself by saying na ang ikli ng skirt ni ate girl but thats literally their uniform , scary honestly

pati ify sa ipis, idk why but im more scared sa ipis than mga daga kc naman ang ipis parang gagamba, bigla biglaan na lang mawawala :"> AH SO UN NGA DI AKO NAKAPUYAT AHHAHAHAHAHAHAH PERO WANT KO NA ULE 😭 anong oras ka natulog?

i just realized then, almost all my feedbacks (?) rants abt your works, may included back story ko HAHAHAH like sa obliviate, harry potter kemene. sa on the ride home, yung untog series q. tas dito sa drown -> ^^^ syempre sa checkmate di ako relate kc di pa naman aq pumapanaw Y^Y

btw how was your day? pag gising ko sa umaga dumeretso aq proj, sipag i2. advance happy eating for dinner !

HAPPY CHANNN DAYYY ,, ayos na daw kurtina nila di ko pa nakikita pero inayos daw ni chan 😌👌

- 👻

glad i came home to a whole ass diary entry today omg owo

6TH GRADE HELP ISNT THAT LIKE TOO YOUNG TO HAVE AMNESIA ;n; hala baka magfalse diagnosis ka sa gogol ha, tell your parents next time kung may ano. oh yeah, mas better talaga kung di mo naiintindihan yung lyrics? bc you don't have to think of the lyrics too. music stopped working as a lullaby for me when quarantine started so i resorted to yt vids. but i still go for music whenever my self-esteem is low. noise music really boosts it *u* exo-l ka pa ba now? or you didn't stan? sinu-sino nga pala stinastan mo omg?

dude my story started in g2 when i heard fire by 2ne1 on the MIT top 20 of myx. i was quite a casual kpop fan up until late g10 when i started memorizing members (which i didn't do bc i was really just in it for the music not the groups).

HAJSHJAH truly tho it's nice to have someone around :'( namimiss ko na rin yung time na may 'y/n' ako but it's been so long that i'm fine on my own na HAJHAJ JAE IS MY BIAS TOO BUT ANTAGONIZING HIM WAS FUN. t'was bc of this vid (around the 28:18 to 29:20 mark; literally the inspo for the whole fic). yep, lia's checkmate's mc! the part abt guiding sa skateboard happened to me irl HIHIH #kilig #reminiscing kakamiss f2f

yeah at 11pm. i think i posted it too late bc it's not doing too well notes wise but whatever, it's chan day. HAHAH glad you slept easily though! MY BIGGEST SANA ALL. i slept at 3 na kanina bc i was either too hot or too cold.

how long is the kdrama? also i'm really proud of seungmin for scoring that ost :'( go get it, vocal king. NAUR I DIDNT GET TO FINISH THE ANIME BC I WENT AND WATCHED BSD KDJSKLJ i'll try and finish it tonight (bc i was out the whole day + i might be writing later) i fucking hate men. icb i'm at the point where i'm torn abt having a bf bc i kinda want a man but they're disgusting as hell???? it's hard to find the good ones nowadays.

mga ipis kasi feeling butterfly jsdhjfh at least yung daga aware ka kung asan ;n; IM SCARED OF SPIDERS TOO JDSKFJ wag ka magpuyat l8r kasi monday pero eh depends pa rin sau

oo nga pansin ko din yung back stories but they're interesting to read naman so i don't mind !! SANA DI KA TALAGA MAKARELATE SA CHECKMATE JUSQ do not claim the negative energy from that fic

we went to my mom's office earlier bc she wasn't feeling great and she couldn't come home yet kasi nakabubble siya doon. we just go thome tapos yown diretso answer sa ask HAHAH magtstsaa palang aq mamaya pa ata dinner namin mga 7 pero yeah advance happy eating din sayo!

AND YES HAPPY CHAN DAY <333 lol narealize ko lang both my ults had sunday birthdays this year o.O and OO HAJSHJAH i watched the chan's vlog last night (partly the reason why napuyat ako) and inayos niya yung curtain sa bandang huli <//3 can't tease them anymore HMP

[nischelatte]

JUST A STRANGER REVIEW

I write half of this unsolicited thoughts of mine last night and slept, kasi dinama ko pa din yung movie. And woke up to continue write whatever is on my mind, but still idk why its still heavy. This is my personal opinion and take sa movie. Watching this movie left me with a heavy heart, it is beautifully heart breaking. It made me realize things that I’ll enumerate below. So if you haven’t watched the movie, I suggest you stop reading from here. There will be spoilers. I’m warning you. 😉

Anne Curtis as usual, panalong panalo ang ganap. 🙌 Damang dama mo, and yet very sophisticated. Parang the whole time nanood ako ay puro praise kay Ate mo Anne, kahit anong angulo ne. Pinaramdam nya sakin na ang unfair ng life. 😂🙈🤣 Dyosang dyosa! She effortlessly delivered her role as Mae, a beautiful young wife of a successful and wealthy business man, Phil. She’s experienced, matured, and sophisticated however unhappy with her marriage.

And Marco Gumabao, which I would say that he gave justice to his role too. Pero kulang, kulang ng kanin yung baon ko sa sinehan kasi nasa harap ko na ang ulam! Hahahhak! At ang butt exposure cyst! 🍑 Yung pinaka aabangan hahahhaa! 🙈 Charing pero magaling to kasi his gestures and acting is great! He delivered it well, Just like the way he delivered his role to Los Bastardos! 💯✔️ 👏 His acting as a 19yr old baby boy that definitely knows how to fuck, immature, young and full of life but cant stand his ground because he values his relationship with his family and girlfriend.

Cinematography is also great! I love the colors, and scenes. Ang galing. 🙌 It gave the best story telling and ~*fEels*~ in each scene.

From those moments, yung sa lisbon, sa museum, sa town house, and yung pinaka heart breaking yung scene sa ending, when Mae had a dream about jekjek and saw that morning that he passed away, yung scene ni Anne sa veranda, yung scene sa kitchen na kita yung laway nya thats very authentic and yet damang dama mo. Ang galing! 👏

Maganda rin yung plot ng story. Mapapaisip ka tapos feeling mo alam mo na yung mga susunod na mangyayare pero girl you do note. Hahahak. Ang ganda. It was really heart breaking. So here’s some take aways after watching the movie.

* You will meet someone in your life unexpectedly, and in just a snap, yung buong mundo mo maiiba yung ikot.

* Cheating is never right, but we all have reasons. Its more than that. Girls dont cheat for sex, they cheat for love. On the other hand Boys cheat for sex.

* People will always have an option, and power to choose whatever they desire or truly want. But is afraid to face consequences with their choices.

* There will be events that will definitely affect the way you make decisions in life or moments that may cause you loneliness. But it was never enough reason to cheat on someone.

* The more you resist, the more it will come to you.

* Funny that somehow somewhere universe will collide for you to be in another situation you’re trying to avoid. Sometimes, sinusubok ka lang kung marupok ka pa o hindi. Wala kaso marupok ka e. 😂🙈

* You will meet someone, and in some level you are undeniably click. You learned a lot of good things about him. Theres connection between you and him. You will meet someone in strange time, and will make you feel special. Feelings that you never felt before, and there you are wishing that there will be something more. Because you allow to see perfection to somebody else.

* If you’re unhappy, leave. Be brave enough to take full responsibility of your actions and accept consequences. Like Mae, she was brave enough to choose Jericho and left everything for him and face her consequences.

* Everyone can make you feel loved, pero wag na baby boy. Masyado magkaiba yung timeline nyo sa life and you might just end up hurting each other. Thing is you’ll be willing to give up everything for him, pero sya he cant. And he wont. It just so happen na nakilala mo sya, nung mahina ka. Malungkot ka.

* “We’re going to pay for this..” Every actions, and decision you make in your life will have consequences. We have what we call Karma right?

SCENE STEALERS! Eto yung mga tumatak talaga sakin while watching the movie.

- That fart in the midst of their sex is hillarious! That shows sobrang comfortable na nila sa isa’t isa.

- Yung confession sa simbahan and yung reactions ni father hahaha

- That tricycle scene nung dumating yung girlfriend ni Jericho madam na madam si Anne

- That scene when Mae’s friend said,” Its either sobrang lungkot nito or sobrang saya” that club scene where she broke down

- DIABLITA! 👹

- That scene where she ranted to Jericho and did let him know that she left everything for him

- Iconic crying scene with a dripping saliva is a golden moment 👌 watch out!

This movie has the most powerful ending! Grabe lang! Twisted and heart breaking!

“No one, I’m just a stranger” this line!!! Cyst! Heart breaking! Kahit hindi ka heart broken ma bbroken heart ka teaaa!!

Crazy that you’ll meet someone, then you’ll be undeniably click, and immediately that the two of you, on some level, belong together. As lovers, as friends or something entirely different. You learned everything about him, the real him. Real things that made him, him. Amazingly you’ll know everything about him, but you’re not part of his world, not his reality.

Because you were just out there, you were a history that not everyone needs to know. Because not everyone will understand. And Sometimes, its fine that both you exist, once upon a time. Heart breaking it is that you’ll only remember them in your heart and mind, and you had special moments but not everyone will know, because you’re not allowed to be officially visible in his life, and that you were someone’s dirty little secret.

BUT AGAIN, CHEATING IS CHEATING AND IT WILL NEVER BE RIGHT. NO ONE DESERVE TO SLEEP AT NIGHT WONDERING WHATS WRONG WITH THEM.

Until now, sobrang bigat pa din cyst. Like anona self hahahhak anyway, OVERALL RATING 10/10 ⭐️💯

-

I wrote this and posted on facebook a year ago, and it was on my today’s memories. After Just a stranger was release in netflix few months after it was on cinemas I never had the chance to watch it again because it left me with a heavy heart because I was really moved and caught up with the story line, as in damang dama ko ganoin. 

So today I decided to watch it again, and sis here I am again with my heavy heart, same feels grabe talaga still cant get over with this freakin movie. It was really good.. and I cri again for the 898492302th time lol! I did took notes again and I realized that when you follow your emotions when you are vulnerable and unstable you end up messing up again. You end up making poor decisions thats why its really important to have a strong EQ so you wont end up hurting yourself or putting yourself in a situation where you dont even know the true meaning of love, or just the love you are looking for. 

We live in a day where God is our emotions, thats why we up making poor decisions to find the love we think we deserve. 

So you better take it slow, breath and try to process your emotions first. ;)

[whatshethinks]

What happened?

BUT OK, MONDAY NIGHT AROUND 7pm - he picked me  up at KFC Marisol and then I got him fries and burger. And he was like whaaat you didnt hafto! I was like i know its cool

And then we got into his car, and he was all giddy and I was too, definitely. And then, I hand fed him fries and he was shooketh. And then I was like jeez, just eat it already. Hahaha! Tapos ayun he got used to me handfeeding him the fries and shit.

Then I was like hey where are you taking me (eh before when he was back in Cali, we talked about how I  had a dream about him and I having sex at Clark, CDC parade grounds) and he was like Im taking us to CDC HAHAHAHA

And then otw to Clark, I was asking him questions about his life like who he lives with in Cali, if he prefers his mom than his dad HAHAHA

So he was answering them, okay. Happily. So i kept going. Once we got to CDC, we just had parked car conversations. And we was eating fries (he's conscious about his diet so he tries so hard not to eat as many fries) and then while I was talking and singing he would just stare at me. Dead ass serious like stare like SEXY stare, like IM GOING TO  KISS YOU NOW stare.

Ofc I was a tease, so I came close to his face and said "what are you doing?" in a sexy voice (at least I thought it was sexy) and then he was brushing my face and hair with his fingers

Okay so! THE STARE. That fucking stare, was so fucking sexy and shit I can cum just by his stare. Ive never had someone stare at me that way before.

So he was staring at me! And I was wearing this baggy  knitted sweater from H&M and while he was staring, I was lowkey tryna make the sleeves fall off my shoulder like the slut I am. So his californian ass was like: damn mami

And then, I was singing Ivy - Frank Ocean, cause thats what was playing. And he suddenly kissed me. And we started making out you know, and he was grabbing my tits and shit, thank god they grew. And then he was like "oh my god" I was like "hehe what, why?"

And then, I got all heated up. I took off my sweater! And I was wearing a bra and jeans only by this time, and he was like "fuck, you're so hot" and then he would bite his lips and stop and just stare at my tits. Like as if they're the biggest tits he's ever seen. Validation right there for me!

And then, things are getting heated. He was trying to remove my pants, I said "adrian" and he would get his hands off immediately off me. Which was n extra turn on! Cause damn, I like me a good boy too mamas. And then I was kissing his neck. He smelled so good. And thats not even the best part of his body yet.

I went and touch his peepee, and then damn. That shit was hard as fuck and LONG... So I was like "oh my god" under my breath. And he removed them shorts immediately.

When he removed them, I was like "fuckkkkkk" cause jesus christ. I dove my mouth into that dick real quick!

His groin smells so good. Like every corner and inch. Which is so hard to believe cause he didn't come from his house, he came from a fucking funeral with his friends for fucks sake. How does it smell so good. So ofc, I had to show him my skills. My god, I sucked that dick for so long my jaw almost locked. Long story short, he didn't cum. He face fucked me while standing upin the car (thank you, Toyota Innova for having a huge ass space inside) and then I deepthroated without a doubt.

And then, he wanted to fuck - "wanna get a room?"

Me: Not yet, be patient Adrian: Fine baby

After a few mins, he tried to squeeze my butt but my ass small so barely squeezed anything. But thats okay.

And then I had to remind him I was on my period. He was like "Oh shit I totally forgot about that"

- We were smoking weed too on the drive to Clark, like the vape pen whatever you had before.

And then oh my god, honest to god the way he kisses me was so good. He would hold my face and squeeze my mouth with his hand and just fucking eat my whole face. And god, if someone was taking a video of it - they would have came.

It was the best kiss I've ever had. And then we'd take pauses after a few minutes. And I lied down on his chest and just feel his chest and arms and tattoos. And then, he would trace his fingers on my back and hair and give me FUCKING SMOOCHES.

R O M A N T I C!

So thats the fucking signal I picked up right? Cause who the fuck gives smooches to someone you just wanna fuck??!

Smooches are for "I wanna keep seeing you you adorable slut" not "I will hit you up only when Im horny"

So i was so gooey with all the smooches and the finger tracing and shit. I was rubbing his chest. And all that ROMANCE shit!

After a while, we decided to order takeout from Mcdonalds. And then, I offered to pay. He was like:

What are you doing? Let's half What are you thinking? Stop!!! Put that back

So he grabbed my wallet and fucking threw that shit back in my bag and said

Wag ka maglalabas ng pera pag kasama mo ko

So of course I went all soft and shit, once again!

While we were waiting for our takeout, I hand fed him fries again with caramel sundae this time. He was like "Im more of a chocolate sundae guy" but he still ate. Then he ate his burger. And then it was so cute cause the servers from McDonalds came out to deliver our food, and there were two of them... and they were all giggling and shit when they handed the 1 pc of burger and giggling when they left too.

I was like, "oooh they like you" He was like "they didnt have to go in pairs when they gave us this burger naman diba" I was like "they probably like you"

I wish I could say, thats my boyfriend.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Then he started sharing his life story back in the Philippines. Where he did a feeding program for his birthday 2 years ago and shit. How he got that trait from his mom and all. How he would do that again after a year. Then he dropped me off at Marisol, the gate at the kanto where you have to enter. I didnt let him drop me off at my house per se.

Then while I was fixing my stuff, he was like are you sure you're okay to walk home? I was like, yeah Im a big girl.

And he laughed, and was like "come here baby" and was gesturing a hug. So he hugged and fucking GAVE. ME. SMOOCHES. AGAIN.

I texted him at 6am to ask if I left my brella in his car. And then he replied at almost 2pm. When I saw that he was online at like 12pm (Facebook). But I brushed it off. Then, his message was dry as usual.

He acknowledged my head and I said we'd transfer to Telegram cause Im at work, but it was just small talk like I asked him when is he gonna pick his dog up downtown so I can meet his dog, Samson. He was like, "Ill def let you meet him, imma take him to CDC some time and you can come with"

And then, I was like Ill look forward to that and shit

And I sent a meme, and he just said "that is me" and I didnt reply na.

I texted him when I got out of work, you know - lowkey dropping hints and shit. And he replied 4 hours later. I just assumed he's with his friends

We talked during dinner and while I waited for his reply, I slept at 12am. And then he replied at 2am. And then I woke up at 5:30am for work, and he said "aga mo nagigising" and I said yeah and he was like "hatid kita sa work" and shit, but as the good girl and angel that I am, I said "No, pahinga ka nalang"

Then when I got out of work again, I asked him where he was at. And he said he just woke up but he was online for hours before that on Facebook. And he had plans with his family for his cousin's birthday and I was like oh okay.

And he said, puntahan kita mamaya? Ofc my heart went oops! Hahaha.

Okay I waited from 6pm to 9pm for him, and I was so tiired and sleepy already and when we met I was like I deserve an apology and he was like, matagal ba? Shet sorry talaga. Sinurprise pa kasi namin cousin ko.

And I was like, yeah a bit but its fine, tulugan nalang kita haha.

And then, I was so tired I couldnt think of a convo. So I asked him where he was planning to take me, and he said, up to you. I was like, anywhere.

And we ended up in a motel LOL. Like jesus christ, how can I say no now.

We got in the motel room, and oh, I forgot to mention on the way to the motel - I told him I got him a gift, cause his bday was on Sept 24th and he was like "OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOINNNNNNNNN, WHY DID YOU DO THAT"

He was prolly thinking I got him a watch or something like a scrapbook, LMFAO.

Then when we got to the motel, I gave him my gift, which was weed. I was like, I picked those up from the streets. And he was like "oh shiiiiit, you didnt have to" I was like, I know it no biggie.

Then he was like, "shit babyyyy, thank you"

And then we lied down and I was wearing a mini skirt and sweater. And he saw skirt go up and he was like "oh fuck" and then we made out and then I removed my sweater, and bra he was like "oh my god"

And then he slipped my panties to the side, and oof I liked that very much, thank you. And then, from missionary, we went to doggy. And then he was like - can I cum inside, and I didnt hear him the first time and the second time, so the third time, he was like "can. i cum. inside?" and I said, oh yeah go.

"are you sure?" "Yes haha"

and then he fucking did, it was so hot.

The sex is not as good as Kyle, as well as the dick feels. Ya know!? Hahaha but I dont mind.

and then I went to pee and I showed him my underwear with his cum on it LMFAO. And then he was like shookth

And then, we watched Rick and Morty for a while and then he turned the TV on and then in the movie, there was a funeral. And he switched it off, we ended up watching 1 ep of Brooklyn 99 and then we sang the intro of B99 together, unscripted. How cute was that. Cute as fuck.

Then you know how high people laugh, theyre just like "he.he.he" that was our laugh all through out the episode. HAHAHAHA we cute as fuck.

Then someone called him, a guy. I was assuming it was his cousin or something. Asking him what time he'll be home and where he's at.

Ever since then, he felt so uneasy. And off... I was making out with him, he was hard but it would just die. We were blaming the aircon LMFAO, and then I was like hey its okay. So we ended up spooning instead and he was playing with my titties and then, we tried again. And then, he got hard and died again. He was like "fuckkk so sorry baby, I've never had this problem before haha idk why its acting up right now"

I was like hey its okay, so I gave him head. And we started trying again, then ayun after a few mins. He was able to cum, and he came on my pussy naman.

We cuddled after cleaning up, and then he was staring into space, I was like whats wrong? You okay?

Yeah I am, why whats wrong? Ikaw ok ka lang?

Me: Yeah Im okay, you seem off lang

Adrian: No, wala wala. Dont mind me..

Me: Aww, its gonna be okay.

Adrian: De kasi, kanina sa movie may nakita akong coffin... naaala ko sya (his bestfriend who died whos the reason why hes back in the PH)

Me: oh shit, sorry.

And then he was like, no its okay... And then I was like you wanna bounce na ba?

Adrian: Ok lang ba? Kasi I actually have to go.

Me: What, of course its okay. I get it!

A: You sure ha? Feel ko galit ka...

Me: What, noo come  here. *kissed*

A: Sorry talaga

Then we checked out

The trip back home was awkward but we kissed goodbye and shit. And then the awkward texts came.

also forgot to mention, I asked why didnt he cum on my face and he was like: well I still wanted to kiss you after (:

[szyf]

Blease post ur rant blease

// ok FINE as @askhelenetheslut said this is a VERY anti- d*h blog so if u stan d*h,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Viewer Discretion Is Advised , also this is kinda long oof

dear ev*n hans*n is a queerbaiting (to a point,, it could be much, much worse), lying hellhole of a show. it portrays mental illnesses as a demonic thing that is stereotyped and generalized. first things first: It portrays only two goddamn mental illnesses: depression and anxiety. Depression and anxiety are two overplayed illnesses— though they are very real, it generalizes them a lot. Now I understand DEH can't cover every type of depression and anxiety all in one 2 hour 30 minute musical, but it would be easier to do so if they took all the queerbaiting it does.

 I know the whole plot is evan gets with connors sister, but they make connor and evans friendship so intimate that it seems like they're dating. well, imaginary friendship. s*ncerely me is a prime example of this. the song is just so,,, intimate between two guys. maybe im reading into it too much. it gives tr** bros shippers a whole argument when someone says its not real. another thing: the way Evan forces himself into Zoe's heart. zoe, though she doesn't want to mourn the death of Connor, is still surrounded by an atmosphere of loss and grieving. 

She's already uncomfortable enough about Connor— but she can't help fall for these false lies that this false boy is providing. It's so unhealthy. D*ar Evan Hans*n shouldn't have won best musical. Sure, some people may see a little bit of themselves in the characters, but honestly, the characters and the music is so— bland. It really is. It's the same goddamn guitar intro every single time!!! It's so repetitive!!! Dear Evan Hansen is nothing new. The concept isn't groundbreaking. Mental illnesses are so normalized in this society it just feels like you're watching another day at school, or another day in your life. It's just really, really bland. 

Groundbreaking musicals are musicals like hamilton and great comet— their scores are different their music genres aren't really heard of on Broadway. A musical about a man no one seems to care about that helped build this nation? It exists. And it's a rap/hip hop musical. Besides for the fandom, hamilton is truly groundbreaking and amazing. A musical about 70 pages of Leo Tolstoy's war and peace that makes you feel you're in a Russian saloon? It exists. It's also a Russian folk music/pop/hip hop/techno mix of music. it sounds horrible, but it works, mixing all those genres together.

 Seriously? Out of this fine selection of musicals that are truly unique and groundbreaking you pick the one about a lying kid with a bland score and boring music? All for what ?? Because he's ""relatable""? Sure. I see a little bit of myself in Evan. But my anxiety is different— I'm outgoing, I'm extremely extroverted, and I'm not really shy. Not everyone with anxiety has depression. Not everyone with depression has anxiety. It's just so annoying that people would choose this boring and repetitive musical out of wonders like Great Comet, Come from Away, and Groundhog Day. 

Seriously- if not Great Comet, I honestly think Come from Away should’ve won. The music is great, it has LGBT rep, it talks about how horrible the Islamophobia (which is still a big problem today, trust me, im middle eastern) was after 9/11 and it tells the story of 9/11 from a whole new, unique perspective. Its truly amazing. It even has POC representation, too. A thing D*ar Evan Hans*n seemed to forget.

D*H seems to be lacking all these things that broadway needs. LGBT rep, POC rep, hell, the only poc character is Alana and guess what!! she wasnt even poc in the original off broadway run!! the fandom is the worst part of it, though. it really stirs up the internal anxiety within you when an army of little 10 year old girls who have self diagnosed themselves with every mental illness in the book just to be like Evan tell you your anxiety isn’t real because you dont relate to wav*ng through a w*ndow. Now I know I cant blame a couple of kids being very rude on D*H itself, but still. I dislike all the praise its getting while other musicals have all of what D*H has and more. I have a lot more to share but guh my hands are tired so i mean if u want more i guess u can ask???????? maybe only for a specific topic about d*h tho lol

end bitches 

[soons-swimmingfool]

A Love like Affogato

Affogato: A bittersweet dessert coffee that illustrates the sarcastic love of two people who may just be right for each other ♥♥ 

(Series: A Love like Affogato, Part i | Part ii)  

• the day you actually message him •

- somehow you managed to restrain yourself from messaging right away so it’s been two days since the coffee shop thing - ironically you’re at the coffee shop again and you keep turning to look at the door every few minutes to see if woojin would appear - you stare at the contact on your phone (you have him saved as Hottie Woojin because you thought The Hottie That Bought Me Coffee was a little long) - without much thinking you send a “hey haha it’s me” - within that minute you get a reply from him saying “who is this?” - you realize then that you never gave him your name - “woojin how could you literally stalk me for three weeks and then forget to ask my name??” - “OH! OH MY GOD! COFFEE SHOP GIRL! YOU’RE COFFEE SHOP GIRL JESUS YOU ACTUALLY TEXTED ME THANK GOD” - you can’t help but laugh at the dork - he texts again before you reply “so what is your name coffee shop girl?” - “i dont know you tell me” you send back - “dont give me that kind of power, im actually going to call you coffee shop girl forever” - “can you imagine being out on a date with me and everyone is just staring because what kind of boyfriend calls his girl coffee shop girl?” - there are so many things in that last text that send you reeling - DATE?? SQUEALS - BOYFRIEND! ! - HIS GIRL :^)))) - cue the sirens - you’re basically dead - the barista wants to come check on you because you look insane just laughing to yourself all red faced - the people at the table next to yours think you’re crazy too - you send woojin back a “date? who said anything about a date” - he replies with “that’s my next question after your name. so what is it c’mon coffee shop girl” - r u even alive anymore - is this heaven i thought humans weren’t able to see angels - “it’s ashley” - you’re so fake trynna act all nonchalant over text when you’re sweating so bad it’s like Niagara Falls relocated to your forehead - “ashley…” - bitch what the fuck does that mean - “is there something wrong with my name??” - is your name really going to be the end of this almost relationship i hate woojin - “i mean… it’s just that yenno you should be pikachu and i should be ash because i definitely chose you ;^))” - tbh we’re both fcking done w woojin - “im blocking your number” - “oh c’mon it wasn’t that bad!” - “text me again and ill call the cops” - “ashleeeeeey :/” - “the number you have dialed is no longer available” - “bit c h im texting you stupid that’s for calling” - “wow you just found out my name literally one minute ago and you’re already calling me bitch” - “wait! i didnt mean that!!!!” - … - “ashley c’mon it’s an expression i didnt mean it ://” - … - “:^(((((“ - “ashley! im just a small boy dont hurt me like this!!!” - “small boy my ass you tower over me” - “yay! you replied!” - “i am for now” - “then i better work quick!! time for my second question ashley, would you like to go on a date with me??” - “wow you cant even ask me in person” - … - “woojin i swear stop trying to mess with me” - “ok sorry :/” - “and you’re right that wasnt very romantic was it” - “tbh not really lmao” - you’re about to tell him you accept anyways but then he texts again - “you’d prefer one of those “turn around” texts right?” - “woojin you really dont have to it’s fine like this” - “no it’s okay, ashley, turn around” - no way no way no way no way - HAS THE BOY BEEN BEHIND ME THE ENTIRE TIME - !!!!! - you turn around slowly and see - - - - nothi ng? ?? - where?? is? he??? - “where are you are you even here i swear” - “nope, but wouldnt it have been cool if i were?” - you sigh audibly - woojin i hate you - “woojin i hate you” - “;^))” - you get up to order some coffee (you had gotten too caught up in texting woojin to go order) - “hi what can i get you” - you sigh again “a sweeter potential boyfriend” - “you said that out loud” - your eyes shoot up to the barista taking your order and—- - WOOJIN????!! WHY ARE YOU HERE? HOW? WHY ARE YOU PRETENDING TO BE A BARISTA GET OUT!!! - “you wanted a romantic proposal didnt you??” - “is this your idea of romantic?” - “are you suprised?” - “i mean yeah of course i am bu–” - “then its romantic as heck! do you want me to leave?” - you get very quiet because no way in hell are you actually admitting you’re cheesed rn - “if you dont say anything im leaving” - “wait! dont… leave” - “good girl, now what can i get you?” - “woojin there’s no way in hell im letting you make my drink go call the real employee” - “you’re so mean” - “and you’re stupid. match made in heaven am i right??” - long story short you get your coffee and go on a date that same day - it was great :^))))

[cowardlytrait]

☀ 100 questions no one really asks ☀

i was tagged by @batsysims , thank you ! 😊

1. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED?

i sleep with it closed !! it’s mainly so one of my younger sisters doesn’t go in there tbh 

2. DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS? i’ve never actually stayed at a hotel so no djghdfgbd

3. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT? out?? whenever i do sleep with a sheet on my bed, because i tend to not remake my bed so i generally sleep without a sheet for a while which i know isnt good for you so im trying to break that :/ 

4. HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE? i considered it once, bc i was walking to my friends place on new years eve and i saw a street sign that fell in a storm , and i almost took it.. except i still had 10 more mins until i got to her house , and i didnt want to have the possibility of getting caught . also ?? idk how  i wouldve brought it home on the bus 

5. DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST-IT NOTES?  y e! but i dont use them enough ngl 

6. DO YOU CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM? nah, but my mom does that v often . and i often have a bunch of coupon reciepts / punch cards from different places that i always forget about 

7. WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES? hhhhh bees

8. DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES? i have a few !! primarily on my arms and legs, and a few on my face,, i never really had many until last year 

9. DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES? yes?? im p bad at smiling for photos tho ngl 

10. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? when someone asks me to do something, and then i say sure.. and then they repeat it like 2 mins later and im like.. fa m, now i dont wanna 

11. DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK? sometimes ! a lot of the time i end up focusing on not stepping on cracks tho?? idk it’s a weird habit i started sometime last year that im trying not to do 

12. HAVE YOU PEED IN THE WOODS? nah

13. HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS? nah 

14. DO YOU EVER DANCE EVEN IF THERES NO MUSIC PLAYING? sometimes yeah ! i tend to if im dancing with one of my siblings tho , like just grabbing their hands and making them dance with me 

15. DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS? yupyupyupyup :/

16. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK? 0 x 0 = 0 

17. WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED? a single? i dk it’s small and sucks ng l 

18. WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK? u  h h h  h h h  , probably are we there yet?  - ingrid michaelson 

19. IS IT OK FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK? yupyup! ! ! 

20. DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS? yup ! voltron is actually currently one of my favorite shows , but i also watch su and several other cartoons ! i also watch anime when i feel like it but not as often as i used to 

21. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MOVIE? minions 

22. WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME? idek ?? defos not anywhere in this town that’s fo sure 

23. WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER? depends ! sometimes water, sometimes milk, sometimes juice. but generally i try to avoid drinking anything while eating and have a drink afterwards

24. WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN? i usually dont dip them in anything , but depending on my mood: mayo or ketchup 

25. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? pizza ! 

26. WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE? u h h , titan ae , the fifth element, any barbie movies and more tbh 

27. LAST PERSON, YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU? i cant remember? i probably kissed my brother on the forehead but idk 

28. WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT? nope

29. WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE? if cash is involved absolutely

30. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER? i wrote a letter in my friends’ birthday cards. 

31. CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL ON A CAR? nope : /

32. EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET? djhsd i dont even have my G2 yet and cant even drive so o o 

33. EVER RAN OUT OF GAS? nope 

34. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF SANDWICH? meat, pickles, and cheese 

35. BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST? toast + chocolate milk 

36. WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME? 11 or 12 (altho my sleeping schedule has been fucked for the past week) 

37. ARE YOU LAZY? lmao yeah 

38. WHEN YOU WERE A KID, WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN? i was once a goth fairy, a dead nerd and a lady bug ! those are the ones i remember off the top of my head fgjfdgd 

39. WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN? tiger ! 

40. HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK? i can only speak english, but i have a vague understanding of french 

41. DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS? nope

42. WHICH ARE BETTER: LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS? wtf are lincoln logs  update: i’ve never played with lincoln logs in my life so legos 

43. ARE YOU STUBBORN? very

44. WHO IS BETTER: LENO OR LETTERMAN? ?? idk 

45. EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS? when i was younger and my mom would ,yup 

46. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? very ! 

47. DO YOU SING IN THE CAR? yup ! often when me and 3 of my friends hand out we will drive around and listen to musicals + other music ! 

48. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER? if im listening to music yuppers ! 

49. DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR? same as 47 ^ 

50. EVER USED A GUN? nope

51. LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER? last se

52. DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY? sometimes, but i still really enjoy them so !! 

53. IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL? oh boi yeah, esp because of all the kids in my house + my mom’s family, and this year i’ll be dog sitting around that time so this year is gonna be f u n 

54. EVER EAT A PIEROGI? not authentic ones, but yeah ! altho im allergic to potatoes so i dont eat them v much at all anymore 

55. FAVORITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE? i dont like pie actually :/

56. OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID? i always wanted to be a teacher ! since like grade 3, but now i want to be a graphic designer , but tbh being a history teacher would be fun as well ! 

57. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS? yeah i do 

58. EVER HAVE A DEJA-VU FEELING? all the time 

59. DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY? nah :/  i probs should lmao 

60. DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS? nope 

61. DO YOU WEAR A BATH ROBE? nah 

62. WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED? usually just my undies but when im living with other people il wear a soft shirt and my dc heroes pajama bottoms ayyy

63. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT? justin bieber in grade 8 i think ?? 

64. WALMART, TARGET, OR KMART? walmart bc there’s no more targets in canada.. otherwise, target

65. NIKE OR ADIDAS? niether 

66. CHEETOS OR FRITOS? cheetos... idk what fritos are lmao 

67. PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS? neither tbh 

68. EVER HEAR OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN? no 

69. EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS? i wanted to but never did “/

70. IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING? idk ?? 

71. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? i dont think so ? 

72. EVER WON A SPELLING BEE? i think i was in one once?? but i dont remember it ?? did i win who knows

73. HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY? oh yeah boi 

74. OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS? nope,  but my dad owns a lot !  

75. OWN A RECORD PLAYER? my dad does ! 

76. DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE? nah, but my mom does ! 

77. EVER BEEN IN LOVE? i think so? ? 

78. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT? real friends, hanson, set it off and more tbh 

79. WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW? same as 63

80. HOT TEA OR COLD TEA? hot!!!!

81. TEA OR COFFEE? coffee!!!!!!! !! ! ! ! ! !

82. SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES? sugar cookies !! 

83. CAN YOU SWIM WELL? nah lmao im shit 

84. CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE? yup

85. ARE YOU PATIENT? depends ! im p patient with kids, but have no patience when it comes to being late or waiting on someone. 

86. DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING? band probs

87. EVER WON A CONTEST? i once won a 4ft cat in the hat from my local short stop when i was 4 

88. HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY? nah  89. WHICH ARE BETTER: BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES? neither 

90. CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET? i learned how to crochet once?? but i forgot it so neither lmao 

91. BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE? livingroom or bedroom 

92. DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED? sort off? ?

93. IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED? no

94. WHO WAS YOUR HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH? uh  h h  m  , currently crushing on someone actually lmao 

95. DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY? no?? 

96. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? nope 

97. DO YOU WANT KIDS? yup ! ! 

98. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? pink !! ! ! ! !  !

99. DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW? sort off?? i miss my old best friend and i feel sort of disconnected rn with everyone

100. WHO ARE YOU GOING TO TAG TO DO THIS TAG NEXT? uhhh , idk who’s done this so i guess @geekmoodlet @maimouth @applezingsims @simprising @shook-sims if you’ve already done it then just ignore this ! ! ! 😝

[spirit-shroud]

so i made this post like. yesterday? two?? days ago? i dont actually remember but! i plotted out a ml fanfic while i’ve been working on my tabletop moonlighter junk and ive come to a few different conclusions about how Will might be in a few situations (read: the version i made up of him in my head that has literally 0 track to canon bc canon does not describe Will at all [as far as im aware, i havent finished the fifth door stuff / started ng+ yet + the wiki is abysmally empty and also not updated to the latest patch. im also not sure if any ml fanfic already exists??? but i also havent looked BUT ANYWAY]) 

like. idk to me the Ideal Hero-Merchant Will of Rynoka™ falls into that like. ‘rough around the edges but still good’ dumb jock category. like. hes probably like, nice within reason, maybe far too casual with everyone. playfully rude to friends who are equally playfully rude back. has a general idea of when it’s a good time to stop / be more formal / handle An Issue but also like. generally misses stuff when it comes to socializing? maybe has a tendency to be a little too into the ‘lightly roasting people to show appreciation’ gig?

on top of that, i feel like he can be p easily assigned traits like ‘one track minded’ / overconfident just bc like. that’s what we can see through gameplay and everything, like, thats just How Things Are. like yeah he has to run the shop and everything but that’s just a side quest on his way to doing more dumb things and pushing himself too hard >:c

so if you combine a jock that has like, maybe five braincells total, four of which are focused entirely on slicing through rocky monsters with a comically large sword, that one last cell clinging to not being a gross goblin who lives in the dungeons and only comes out to restock potions, you get like. a small mess of a human who is trying far too hard. like. you’re already like, mayor of rynoka through sheer capitalism power my dude please take a nap it’s been three weeks, 

(side note: does anyone in rynoka like. sleep? if the entirety of your night is spent in dungeons, and the vast majority of your day is trying to run a shop to fuel your addiction to, again, crawling dungeons, like. when do you sleep? bathe? eat?? socialize??? do anything?? like. not even zenon like... vanishes at any point. hes either awake chillin by a fire or wandering around town. ) 

and on a more fanfic-y/shippy note i think he’d be like. the absolute furthest thing from affectionate at all. like. a datemate is just a bro who also happens to like. live in his house sometimes and hold hands with him. like ykno that tweet thats like ‘i have a whole baby with someone but we dont have an anniversary / never formally started dating’? thats like. the whole thing here. that’s how i’d imagine that’d go down w this dude. not even due to like being emotionally distant or not invested in the relationship or anything it’s just the General Vibe™. like you live together and have like A Thing and one of you stops saying ‘no homo’ and its just like ‘well i guess this is real now  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ‘

also he radiates the vibes of someone who’d like. finger guns on reflex to pretty much any situation gone loosely awry. i am not sure how that came about, or why i associate that with him, but i reflexively finger gun all the time so he does that also.  

all of this kinda rolls back around to the like. two ways to draw him post i made a little while ago, in which his two modes are Total Hoarder Goblin™ and sweet white haired anime boy™. i think that’d be a p solid thing to reflect in any like, idealized version of him lol 

like at the end of the day it’s pretty much just like. making an oc that just so happens to inhabit an existing character’s body, but also he like.... doesn’t have a personality outside from Player Vessel™ and i will noT STAND FOR IT he’s MY BOY

EDIT // he doesn’t really have like. an age anywhere that i know of but i think he’s like. 19-25ish. he’s baby

thinkin abt what kind of character Will is considering the only thing we ultimately know about him in canon is that he’s an idiot

[saltwater-maple]

1-3 for marsh and cora!! Also uh 13 for marsh bcause i have a feeling that Naughty Boy would use console commands n cheat at ev e r yth i ng N i want to kno if u agree

oh!!! thenks for sending this in omg! will put this stuff under a cut bc dash stretching is quite possible

cora

1) A story for every scar. Do any of their wounds have interesting origins? i imagine shes got a few battle scars, bc shes a bit of a coward and not good at Physical Conflict... she does have one scar under her chin from a fall she’d taken as a little kid tho. but thats the only real Interesting one

2) Three songs that show their character progression. perfect - eleven acorn lane (in context of coras Drama, it ends up way sadder than it sounds)coward montblanc - gumi (ive never stopped lovin this song since 5yrs ago; it got me Thru Some Shit and it works for coras Drama)lullaby from a distant land - forest elves (because im a Hell Man. again in context this is Sad)

3) If they were a god which god would they be? idk if theres really a Specific god for this, but she would definitely be the god of song, sunflowers, and chickens. she really loves chickens

marsh!!

1) A story for every scar. Do any of their wounds have interesting origins? hes got plenty of scars on his back as a result of running away from fights he knew he couldnt win pre-curse! a few on his fingers from attempts at more artisan crafts to add to his merchandise... and matching ones on his palm and the back of his hand when he tried to save a frog from a wolf

2) Three songs that show their character progression. hammer song & the tower of pain - bump of chicken (english translation here! marsh was a miserable little man before Frog Curse)artificial heart - jonathan coulton (theres just. A Lot about this one)odoru rorschach - owarikara (i dont have a translation for this/havent found one yet; i understand a bit of it tho and.. idk. just reminds me of The Boy)

3) If they were a god which god would they be? i imagine he’d think it somewhat sacrilegious to imagine it, considering who cursed blessed him w his current Everything, but he’d definitely want to become a frog deity

13) Playing video games, would they be a completionist, a speed runner, how would they play?um youre absolutely fucking right he is a big fucking cheat. he would at least TRY to play without cheats at first, but that would only last about 10 mins at most before he gave in and started clippin thru walls for easter eggs

this took so long mostly because i had to do so much soul searching to find the best 3 songs for both of these two wtf

[yeont4n]

Answer all!!

here we fuckn goooooooooo

we are bulletproof: if you could be any superhero, who would you be and why?

u kno that 1 girl from sky high whose only power was shapeshifting into a hamster? her. no reason

no more dream: if you woke up tomorrow to be incredibly famous, how would you react?

id go check my mailbox to collect all my free promotional gifts and then prolly fake my own death

i like it: if you could reverse any moment in your life, what would that moment be? 

there’s 1 thing but im not rlly gonna expose myself like tht on here smh

n.o: biggest pet peeve?

loud chewing/loud eating,,,,,,

we on: how do you deal with people who don’t like you?

i dont deal wit it lmfao it’s not my business who likes me n who doesn’t unless someone’s being particularly vocal about it:// in that case i’d prolly jus laugh about it

if i ruled the world: what would you do if you found out that you were an heir to a wealthy kingdom?

lmfao. idk tbh prolly decide which breed of dog i wanted to be known for loving

coffee: what’s your coffee order?

i dont order coffee often buh somethin w a lot of sugar.

cypher pt. 1: if you had to be part of a kpop group, what position would you want to be (i.e. leader, visual, lead vocal, dancer, rapper, maknae, etc.)

maknae i guess? how about staff

rise of bangtan: when and how did you get into the king and legends, also known as bangtan sonyeondan?

i saw a video of yoongi performing intro:nevermind in like 2015 n was :o ! buh never looked into it. in 2016 i saw the fire and bst dance practice vids and was like :0!??? but again, never looked into it. then finally spring day/not today mvs dropped n i FINALLY looked into who these boys were n jus fell down an ever spiraling rabbit hole.. now we here

satoori rap: what does home mean to you?

a feeling. i mean i have a few physical manifestations of the concept of home: my town, my school, my house. things i can return to. but really it’s a feeling isn’t it?? safety, familiarity, comfort, fondness

boy in luv: when you are interested in someone (romantically, sexually, etc.), does your behavior change?

yeah probably altho i dnt have many data points to go over rn

just one day: who would you want to spend the last day of your life with?

yall expectin me 2 say bts buh id want 2 be wit my friends n family . bts can b there 2 if they want

tomorrow: goal that you would like to achieve within the next year?

get into..... college.....

cypher pt. 2: one thing about yourself you wish people would appreciate more?

i never express appreciation n all that verbally thru words or physically thru touch buh i have my own ways of showin tht i care n i guess it dont count if i dont communicate explicitly like: hey ilu ! . what happened to actions speak louder than words smh

spine breaker: what is your weakness when it comes to spending money?

makeup!!!!!!!!!! >

jump: favorite childhood memory?

getting my dog tina!!!!

miss right: what is your ideal ‘type’?

physically i tend 2 like the boyish types likkee think taehyung inu era i guess. boy next door vibes; ive never rlly been into the macho build or the preppy, neat look, or the rough around the edges, angsty shithead badboy exterior model like i like my boys S.O.F.T.! puppy-ish!

personality wise i guess jusssss idk i’m gonna copy n paste a list of qualities i look 4 in a partner that i wrote for a different ask game a while back: Sense of humor, openmindedness, compassion, reliability, ability 2 communicate directly/emotional maturity, ambition/drive/work ethic, etc.

i like it pt. 2: dream date? 

yall prolly expecting me to say smthn like staying in n watching movies n eating junk but i’d prolly wanna go out n do smthn ngl. not a movie where u can hardly even speak or a dinner date where u feel trapped n stiff buh smthn fun n mildly competitive n engaging ??????? although jus chillin dont sound so terrible either

danger: have you ever had a near-death experience?

kinda not really it was on hampton beach n i had an allergic reaction but i wasnt on death’s door or nuthn

war of hormone: most embarrassing moment?

i bled thru my fucking pants in like 7th grade n it got on the chair! it was bad lol i was jus talking about this w my friend n she was like “yeah i remember that haha:)” shut up caitlin

hip hop lover: three songs that are meaningful to you?

moonlight sonata, ballade no. 1 in g minor, bts’ entire discography ties for 3rd

let me know: are you good at keeping secrets?

no lmfao . keeping my own, sure.

rain: most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?

some words that have never been used to describe me, grace: spontaneous, easy going, flexible. the most impulsive thing i’ve done is prolly take a random sidestreet omw home just for the heck of it lol

cypher pt. 3: favorite outfit to wear?

cute jeans w a belt, a crop top. white adidas. i like dresses too tho!! n i really like layered clothes (a mock turtle neck under a slip dress or like a pinstripe button up under a babydoll fit blouse. i jus think it’s fuckin adorable)

blanket kick: longest time you’ve spent lying in bed (sleeping or not)? 

prolly 2 or 3 days

24/7 = heaven: what are you most looking forward to?

fuck i rlly dk . doesnt that suck??

look here: do you have any hidden talents?

i can burp on command lmfaoofdj

second grade: proudest accomplishment?

dont ask me this if u dnt want to be made uncomfortable by how genuinely unproud of myself i am lol

i need u: are you in love?

wit k*m t*aehy*ng? yeah.

hold me tight: does physical contact comfort you?

no........... maybe i havent found the right person but it’s not my cup of tea generally speaking

love is not over: ever had your heart broken?

no but now i know what i can look forward to haha

dead leaves: how loyal are you?

im rlly loyal if that commitment is mutual. w my family i’m ride or die i’ll fuck anyone up who comes for my asshole brother idc!!!!!!!!!

move: last time you cried?

cant remember,, i dnt cry much. prolly watching reply 1988 when bo ra and her dad were exchanging letters on her wedding day.

butterfly: most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?

his name looks similar to my url thats the only hint im giving

run: do you like traveling? if so, where? what’s your dream vacation?

i dnt really like travelling tbh but i do wanna go back to korea one day. not necessarily as a tourist but as a diasporic korean person myself

ma city: if you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

idk. i cant imagine not living in the states tbh but i also cant say i love it here either

baepsae: do you vote and/or keep up with politics?

i can’t vote but i’m in my school’s youth vote committee which runs debates for local elections and registration drives at the end of the year. i kept up with politics a lot more last year but after the election i jus got 2 bitter. i know what’s going on but only sort of surface level smh

dope: what did you want to be when you were younger? how does it compare to what you want to be now?

i wanted to be a teacher lmfao and i wanted to commute to college n save $$ bc i was a practical little fucker even when i was 6. these days i’m not that interested in teaching bc a) i’d be objectively bad at it and b) i was a classroom mentor for elementary schools and... realized i can’t work w kids tht small every damn day i’d rlly snap

fire: are you a spontaneous person?

no~

save me: your favorite place on earth?

rn??? m y bed

young forever: what is one movie from your childhood that you will always treasure?

august rush lol

boys with fun: you’re going on a roadtrip with seven other people– dead, alive, fictional, real, famous, or not. who are they, and why?

really......... seven other people:)? guess.

converse high: how many pairs of shoes do you own?

12??? 3 are the same black heel lmfao n a lot i havent worn in years but i still technically own them. i rlly b wearing the same 4 pairs in a cycle n 1 rotten bleach stained soggy mess for work shoes.

whalien 52: weirdest thing that has ever happened to you? alternatively, weirdest dream you’ve ever had?

weirdest dream i ever had was way too long to type out n had way too many references to people in my personal life to ever be interesting lmao

house of cards: when was the last time you felt sexy?

HAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAAHHAAH?????????????????

boy meets evil: have you ever committed a crime? if so, what was it? alternatively, what is the worst thing you have ever done?

does speeding count smh.

blood, sweat, & tears: kinkiest kink you have?

rolling eyes emoji. pass!

begin: who are you most grateful for in your life?

my parents!

lie: biggest fear?

real talk? failure. abandonment but i’m adopted, how cliche. also bugs

stigma: would you rather know the date of your death or the cause of your death?

date of death bc if i knew the cause but not have any indication of when it’d hit me, i’d be a paranoid agoraphobic wreck for the rest of my life

first love: do you believe in soulmates?

yes but i also believe you can have more than one! and that soulmates aren’t exclusively romantic

reflection: if you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be?

get ur fucking bangs cut

mama: are you good at giving advice?

yeah i think so

awake: if you had to be a flower, which flower would you be?

lazy daisy

lost: how good are you with directions? do you get lost easily?

horrible horrible horrible. directionally challenged. i can’t even find my way to the fucking grocery store down the road on my own. if i ever missed an exit on the highway you’d never hear from me again, i could never find my way back without a gps. i’m dead serious

cypher pt. 4: what do you do to treat yourself or relax?

take a bath or a long long shower. eat smthn warm, drink tea, do a face mask, change my sheets n snuggle up watchin a drama or movie or playin sims

am i wrong: you wake up one morning in the hospital, knowing only your name and a single memory from your life. what is that memory?

wtf how do i answer this lmfao how wud i know lol

21st century girls: do you prefer texting, calling, or video chatting?

texting! calling if it’s a long story though

2!3!: your favorite thing about bangtan?

their modesty and grace ! they’re a true underdog success story >

spring day: who do you miss right now?

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

not today: what are your procrastinating right now?

math summer work smh

wings: on airplanes, do you prefer the window seat, the middle seat, or the aisle seat?

window seat!

you never walk alone: how many people do you trust with your life?

4?

[catsandhotsauce]

we broke up for 5 minutes.

1. I know its hard for you to understand kung bakit hirap akong magpa awat sa away natin. Kung bakit hirap akong mag agree sayo at tumigil nalang sa lahat ng gnagawa kong shit na ayaw mo.

Please know that i finally have my own friends. Back in baguio do you know who i smoked weed, drank alcohol, and smoked cigarettes with? My sister and HER friends. Sila ate cat, ate anc, sila lang ung mga nkakasama ko dati na kaya kong maging AKO. I didnt have anyone else to go out with, to have fun with, yung tipong barkada na lagi mong kasama sa kahit anong trip. You dont know how many times ive cried to them about my lonliness.. Dko snasabi to para maawa ka. Snasabi ko para maintindihan mo. You dont understand what it feels like to finally have *my own people, who i can do crazy things with and make crazy memories with. Of course with friends comes its limits alam ko yon. Ive learned so much na oh. Not only from you, from my sister. From ate cat. From my friends. And now that they know me better and i know them better, i know they will take care of me. besides, ericka and angel aren’t only good for bisyo shit. I go on foodtrips with them. We study together. We joke around together. We cry together. They are more than just drinking buddies to me now. They are my friends. 2. You cant compare me and angel with what you and i have. First of all, i never left her for her damages. Im still her friend. Kahit tinatalk shit ko sya minsan sayo ksi nakakairita ung gnagawa nya sa buhay that doesnt mean she is a lesser friend to me. You are my boyrfriend. WERE my boyfriend. And you left me. Instead of being here by my side and riding through the tough shit you decided to LEAVE INSTEAD. Dont fucking tell me about that petty ass principle bullshit because i could never leave you for something as stupid as this. If you truly feared for me why would just abandon me like that? 3. “Is it something that you could tell to your mom to accept you?” Bakit? How do you think she would react if she knew you and i have had sex? Im not saying you are bad for me. Im saying that not everything is black and white. And even so, if my mom did know about us or whatever shit i’ve done she wouldnt abandon me like you did. Thats the thing about unconditional love. Despite your loved ones shortcomings you’re supposed to stick with them no matter what.

Alam ko minor shit nalang to pero gusto ko pdin pagusapan.

4. “2 consecutive jokes about being single is not good”

My sister was trying to cheer me up. Thats what you do when you care for someone thats going through tough shit. She was just trying to make me see some sort of rainbow at the edge of this fucked up breakup.

5. You based your arguement on things i told my sister that were private. On things she told me in confidence. Kaya nga namin pinaguusapan kasi i was still trying to make sense of what was happening. You cant attack me based on those conversations because they were meant for comfort and some kind of understanding. They werent meant for you. They were meant for ME and me alone.

6. Hindi ba sobrang fucked up na till the end of our relationship you still insist that i cheated on you.. I know we covered this already, but still. I would like to talk about it. Para matahimik na konsensya mo, diretsahan na. I NEVER CHEATED ON YOU. I wish you could have just believed me when i told you na IKAW LANG YUNG GUSTO KO, ikaw lang yung mahal ko, at ikaw lang yung kailangan ko. Haha shet, past tense pala. All i ever did was love you, with all my heart. You dont know how much it hurts to give your entire being to someone just to be accused of being a fraud. What i had with you, is something that will stain my stupid heart forever. I loved you so much. I still do, and i know you know that. You are the first person i have ever truly loved. Alam mo ba before i met you. I honestly thought i was incapable of feeling any kind of intimate emotion. Thats why it never worked out with dave and ivan and the rest of the “boys” i “dated” because i could never feel any genuine emotion for any one of them. I force fed them my affection and choked down theirs in an attempt to grasp some type of feeling. Pero wala. Nung ikaw? I didnt even need to make an effort. I met you. We talked, and talked. Then we met in real life. And i just fell so deep, deep in happy love with you. And god, it was wonderful knowing that you felt the same way. Kaya ang sakit isipin na you would still think that i could possibly cheat on you. That i could sabotage the perfect happiness that we had. But i guess thats just your damage. Trust issues. Your damage from your whore ex girlfriend. Which i shrugged off because i knew that you would soon realize how true my love was for you and forget about the pain she caused you. But i guess you never did realize, did you? We all have our damage anyway. I guess mine was just a little too much for you to handle.