#i think 2016 still holds a special place in my heart but... the fact that this whole thing is colorful means some5ing :v

[themultifandomgal]

From 2010- On Tour With Justin Pt1

Part 57

2016

20th August- Chelmsford

Nervous is not a strong enough word to explain how I’m feeling right now. Am I excited though? Hell yeah I am. The music for Break Up Season starts, it’s a longer introduction to the song to get the crowd hyped, which I think they are because the sound they’re making is crazy! It’s then time for me to go on stage

“The sky is turning red” I sing and walk out onto the stage “it’s raining heartbreak bloodshed” the crowd are going wild as I walk down the stairs on stage “in a romance apocalypse, yeah send my love to Juliet. All the the platinum blonds are drinking with boys on the rocks, all the bombshell brunettes on the dance floor calling shots. Got the whole city shakin’ and it’s about to go off. Can’t you feel it? It’s…” I point the microphone to the audience. They all scream ‘it’s break up season’ “yeah hearts are bleedin’ it’s break up season, yeah can’t you feel it? It’s break up season” I walk to the end of the stage and crouch down. I can see Harry, his mum and my dad smiling at me “I hate to spoil the end, the guy don’t get the girlfriend” I then stand up and point again the the audience and they all shout ‘Romeo’s a pathological narcissist. So send my love to Juliet’.

After the first song I take a moment to breathe and take in the fact I’m on stage in front of thousands of people on my own

“How is everyone doing tonight?” I ask into the microphone and the arena is loud with screams “now, this is my first time on my own. It’s a little daunting and I’ll be completely honest with you I thought I was going to shit myself earlier, but now I’m up here, looking out my nerves have completely gone. The next song I’m going to sing is break up” the music starts and I begin singing. I then sing Bye before taking a water break.

“Ok” I take a quick sip of water before putting it down and placing my microphone on the stand “tonight is not only special to me because of the obvious, but I also have some really important people here tonight. One of these people happen to have written a whole song for me, we changed a few of the words to fit for me. This is Just A Little Bit Of Your Heart” the piano music starts and I take in a deep breath “I don't ever ask you where you've been and I don't feel the need to know who you with. I can't even think straight but I can tell that you were just with her and I'll still be a fool. I'm a fool for you. Just a little bit of your heart Just a little bit of your heart. Just a little bit of your heart is all I want. Just a little bit of your heart Just a little bit of your heart. Just a little bit is all I’m asking for” it’s only now that I notice everyone has their lights on swaying “I don't ever tell you how I really feel 'cause I can't find the words to say what I mean. And nothing's ever easy, that's what they say. I know l'm not your only, but l'll still be a fool 'cause l'm a fool for you” I find Harry in the audience and sing the rest of the song looking at him. I sing a couple more songs before the break before Justin goes on stage.

There’s a knock on my dressing room door

“Come in” I say wiping off my makeup. In walks Harry holding a bouquet of flowers “aww H”

“You were fantastic YN, I’m so proud of you” I get out of my seat and hug Harry before taking the flowers

“They’re beautiful Harry. Thank you”

“How was it? being on a stage on your own. Did you enjoy it?”

“God Harry it was such a rush. Don’t get me wrong I missed you boys with me and I thought I was going to throw up, but it was amazing. Hearing the crowd just screaming my name, I don’t know H, it was exhilarating”

“One day you’ll have your own tour. One where you’ll have to find your own opening act”

“I’m not sure about that just yet. I think that will feel even stranger” Harry and I end up just staring at each others eyes for a moment. Justin then walks into my dressing room with just his trousers on

“YN I was just thinking…. oh hi Harry” Justin walks over to me and kisses my temple “how are you?”

“Good, yeah erm anyway” he break the stare and clears his throat “I best go back to my spot, I’ll see you after the show though right?”

“Sorry we want to get going as soon as possible, you know how it is” Justin says

“I promise I’ll see you soon though” I quickly say

“Oh yeah, sure thing” Harry scratches the back of his head “see you soon”

“Bye H”

By the end of the night Justin and I are sat on the bus on our way to our next location. His arm around my shoulders while we watch something on the TV, but my mind is elsewhere.

20th September- Paris

I sit with my phone in my hand, watching Justin rehears on stage. Emma has been texting me none stop about what Harry and Kylie have been up to. Sighing I decide to just put my phone away, here I am in Paris, the city of love and I’m with Justin who is meant to be taking my mind off Harry. Justin needs to be my priority. The music finishes and Justin jumps down from the stage walking over to me with his arms out

“Ew your sweaty”

“You love it” he says pulling me in

“No I really don’t” I giggle as Justin kisses all over my face “you need a shower”

“Fancy joining me?” Justin wiggles his eyebrows at me

“As tempting as that sounds I promised I would phone my dad before I get ready tonight” Justin pulls away with a pout “but I will probably want a shower before we hit the road later” I smile and walk away hearing Justin groan which only makes me laugh.

“Hi dad”

“Hi pumpkin. How’s the tour?” I place my phone on my dressing table and grab some snacks

“I’m loving it. It was strange at first without the boys with me, but Justin’s been so amazing at making me feel part of the team”

“Have you been able to get out?”

“Not today but Justin said tomorrow he’s taking me to the Louvre and then we’re going to have lunch out before we need to be back here”

“So it’s going good with Justin then?”

“Dad are we really going to have this conversation?” I groan

“I just really thought it would be you and Harry” I hear dad sigh on the other end of the phone

“Well he’s happy with Kylie and I’m happy with Justin”

“Are you? Are you seriously happy? Because if you’re not I’m sure….”

“I am dad, I promise you. Anyway I gotta go. I need to get ready for tonight”

“Alright pumpkin. I love you”

“I love you to dad” I end the call and turn to Charlotte who’s just entered my dressing room “don’t start”

“I wasn’t going to” Charlotte says hands up in the air.

[bittertomato]

A lil late but happy new year!

Characters under the cut, plus some fun facts

Tomato's faves for each month of 2023

January: Diana Cavendish (Little With Academia)

February: Diana Cavendish (Little Witch Academia)

March: True Rider — Hippolyta (Fate/Strange Fake)

April: Psyche Callista (Your Throne)

May: Misaka Mikoto (A Certain Scientific Railgun)

June: Misaka Mikoto (A Certain Scientific Railgun)

July: Morgan (Fate/Grand Order)

August: Morgan (Fate/Grand Order)

September: Morgan (Fate/Grand Order)

October: Morgan (Fate/Grand Order)

November: Morgan (Fate/Grand Order)

December: Morgan (Fate/Grand Order)

Brainrot of the Year 2023: Morgan (Fate/Grand Order)

Hall of Fame (aka brainrots of years past)

2023: Morgan (Fate/Grand Order)

2022: Tsuruhime Yachiyo (Shoujo Kageki Revue Starlight: ReLive)

2021: Tsuruhime Yachiyo and Yumeoji Shiori (Shoujo Kageki Revue Starlight: ReLive)

2020: Yumeoji Shiori (Shoujo Kageki Revue Starlight: ReLive)

2019: Tendou Maya (Shoujo Kageki Revue Starlight: ReLive)

2017 & 2018: Diana Cavendish (Little Witch Academia)

2016: Carmilla Karnstein (Carmilla the Webseries), Elsa (Frozen), Tohsaka Rin (Fate/stay night), and Misaka Mikoto (A Certain Scientific Railgun)

2015: Carmilla Karnstein + Laura Hollis aka Hollstein (Carmilla the Webseries) aka my gay awakening

2014: Elsa (Frozen)

2012 & 2013: Higurashi Kagome (Inuyasha), Kuchiki Rukia (Bleach), Mouri Ran (Detective Conan), and Chiba Mamoru (Sailor Moon)

2011: Chiba Mamoru (Sailor Moon)

2009 & 2010: Kuchiki Rukia (Bleach)

Pre-2009: Who knows? My memory sure doesn't!

And I promised fun facts, so...

The early days...

The reason I can date my first fave to Rukia in 2009 is because that was when I made a Fanfiction.net account and posted my first fanfic. Don't read it I was young and foolish.

Bleach, Inuyasha, and Sailor Moon were my first animes. The first two I definitely watched on Adult Swim back when I still watched cable.

I used to be pretty skilled at self defense and even have a first degree black belt. One of the reasons why Ran from Detective Conan really left an impression on me.

There's a few unnamed faves that I also had from more obscure anime that were from so long ago that I can't pinpoint the exact years. A special shoutout to Asuka from Ask Dr. Rin! This show is in no way affiliated with Tohsaka Rin lol.

And yes, I do have male faves besides Mamoru! I love Hak and his constipated repressed feelings for Yona (Akatsuki no Yona) and my in-game name in FGO is inspired by Kurogane (Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles). And for whatever reason, Fred is my favorite from Scooby Doo.

Honestly, I have to give Elsa some credit. I think she started the trend of my faves being "blonde/light haired "regal" rich/well off BAMF ladies who seem cold and distant on the surface but are actually dorks over-burdened and forced to grow up too fast, with a dash (or a ton) of family angst dumped on them." I mean, do you see any of my past faves being blonde? xD

The college days...

I was in denial about being queer and swore I was straight until I somehow found Carmilla the Webseries (I don't even know how) during the summer of 2015 and had a multi-step process of acceptance that went something like "Oh the actress for Laura Hollis is hot. Oh the actress for Carmilla is cute, pretty, and a huge dork. Oh everyone is pretty attractive. Wait mostly just the girls. Wait is that why I don't give a shit about men?"

Little Witch Academia is not only the first series where I published fanfic on AO3, but it's also the series that got me to write AND finish longer stories. So congrats, Diana! I really wanted to angst you :D It's also the fandom where I found my closer Discord friends. Love y'all, mwah.

I think Revue Starlight might be the series that squeezed the most faves out of me. It holds a special place in my heart for numerous reasons, but the main one might be the collab fic I worked on with Quill, who is now my partner 😊So thanks, ReLive even if your gacha game is somehow even worse than FGO.

That said, the series I seem to always go back to seem to be the To aru and Fate franchises. Maybe it's because they're still ongoing.

Those two are also the reason I started messaging Quill back in the day, so they hold an extra special place in my heart. Even with all their flaws.

And then Lostbelt 6 hit FGO and blew everything out of the water. I rave about Morgan a lot but that chapter of the game truly had a stellar cast. Nasu wanted us to remember that he can cook lol.

Where is my Lostbelt 6 anime, Aniplex?

[randomnerdyfan]

Thank you so much for the tag!!!

What's set as your phone's lockscreen?

A wallpaper from my favorite band - Sabaton.

Cheese or chocolate?

Both? Both! Both is good.

Do you have any nicknames?

Yes! A simple one that’s just a short version of my first name. And some people who are very close to me call me „Mouse“.

Last song you listened to?

Strange Game by Mick Jagger

Have you ever written fanfiction?

Absolutely. That’s how discovered my love for writing. My first stories ever where about an OC surviving the titanic lol. Yeah I was a titanic kid.

Are you on discord?

Yes! I got it during Corona because my school used it for classes rather than zoom lol. Now I keep some long distance friendships there. Not active much though.

Do you have any piercings?

I have earrings in both ears, plus another ear piercing in my right ear :)

What do you think says the most about a person?

How they treat loved ones. How they treat service staff. And how they talk about people who a currently not present. Also, their eyes - they’re like an open book if you know what to look for.

If you were a cookie, what kind would you be?

Raw chocolate chip cookie dough.

Are you more of a dog person or a cat person?

I like both, but I‘d rather have a dog than a cat! Specifically, a Golden or a Corgi. Preferably both.

Headphones or earbuds?

Headphones at home, ear buds for on the go!

What's the last thing you said out loud?

„Good night dad!“ xD

What's a weird fact that you know?

It is illegal to cross the state line to Minnesota while carrying a duck on your head. However, I don’t know why. But I’d like to hear that story.

Are you a morning person or a night owl?

Night owl all the way! I’ve always been, but working in theatre also shifts your daily rhythm a bit.

Favorite place to nap?

My bed, no question!

Are you a member of the LGBTQIA+ community?

Yes! I don’t know what label however. Demisexual? Bi-curious? Unlabeled? Something like that. Not straight tho!

Describe yourself in three words.

Loving. Caring. Emotional.

Jeans or sweatpants?

Sweats! Jeans for special occasions tho.

What's your go-to Starbucks order?

Peach iced tea or iced (lactose free) vanilla latte. Or a hot one of its cold out.

A color you can't stand?

That pastel brown-red-green-ish that’s neither really red nor green. Because I physically can’t see it. 🥲

What's your most prized possession?

A small stuffed leopard that my ski instructor and now good family friend gave to me when I was six. His name is Leo and he’s been with me through everything.

Also, a teddy bear that my boyfriend at the time gifted to me to keep me company whenever he’s not there. Still love it dearly and hold it every night.

Coffee or tea?

Tea! All day every day!

Favorite extinct animal?

Probably the T-Rex. T-Rex arms are a comfort sleep position for me 😅

How long have you been on tumblr?

Oof. Uh, 2016, I think? Until like 2018-19? Then not really until late 2023!

Desert island item?

Probably a book about survival! And my emotional support stuffed animals, the leopard and the teddy. No night spent without them, let’s be honest!

Describe your aesthetic.

Medieval fantasy, witchy, spiritual, dark academia, cottage cozy, but also like heavy metal stage show, WW2 era vintage and military. A bit of everything I guess!

What's your dream job?

Acting! Currently pursuing that! But also, audio book narration and full time artist would be neat.

Relationship status?

Single currently, but complicated. Separated due to life circumstances, right person wrong time situation. I hold him dearly in my heart, we’re still friends and we both wish to be more again if the timing is right and it feels right for both of us. No hard feelings, just respect and love, and hope. Navigating through a lot of emotions currently 😅

Describe your favorite outfit.

At the moment, it’s pants and a button shirt that used to be my dads and make me look like I just returned from a time travel to the WW2 era. I feel confident in that one.

Also, my plate armor. I‘m a fantasy nerd, let’s be honest. Not the most comfortable tho!

Is there a song you know all the lyrics to?

Bismarck by Sabaton - my favorite song!

What color is your hair?

Dark brown under sunlight, but appears black mostly. So almost black I guess?

Do you talk to yourself?

Absolutely! All the time! To me, to everything around me, I just talk a lot.

Do you wear makeup?

Occasionally! „Beauty“ Make-up only on special occasions, but I’ve been wearing stage makeup and special effects makeup on my last job quite a lot. The latter is also a hobby of mine!

Best compliment you ever received?

Oh that’s a good question. Multiple friends and colleagues have called me a „sunshine“ before, which has always touched me. And I’ve gotten quite some meaningful compliments regarding my work. But being called the kindest, sweetest, most deserving and most lovable person by the person you love, that’s probably gotta be it. Nothing can beat that.

Thanks again for the tag!!

~ 💖 ASK GAME 💖 ~

📷 What’s set as your phone’s lockscreen?

🍫 Cheese or chocolate?

✨ Do you have any nicknames?

🎵 Last song you listened to?

✏️ Have you ever written fanfiction?

😏 Are you on discord?

 💛 Do you have any piercings?

🐰 What do you think says the most about a person?

🍪 If you were a cookie, what kind would you be?

🐶 Are you more of a dog person or a cat person?

🎧 Headphones or earbuds?

🌼 What’s the last thing you said out loud?

🙃 What’s a weird fact that you know?

🦉 Are you a morning person or a night owl?

🧸 Favorite place to nap?

🏳️‍🌈 Are you a member of the LGBTQIA+ community?

🦋 Describe yourself in three words.

👖 Jeans or sweatpants?

🥤 What’s your go-to Starbucks order?

🧡 A color you can’t stand?

💎 What’s your most prized possession?

☕ Coffee or tea?

🦖 Favorite extinct animal?

🌙 How long have you been on tumblr?

🌴 Desert island item?

🐸 Describe your aesthetic.

🔮 What’s your dream job?

💙 Relationship status?

🌿 Describe your favorite outfit.

🎤 Is there a song you know all the lyrics to?

🤎 What color is your hair?

💌 Do you talk to yourself?

💄 Do you wear makeup?

🌸 Best compliment you ever received?

💞 @ your favorite blog.

Reblogs are appreciated!

[blufoxstar]

Every Heart a Doorway - Review

Every Heart a Doorway, written by Seanan McGuire, was first published in 2016 and won a Nebula Award for Best Novella. The book would later be followed by several other books and is now part of a series, but I haven't read those, this is just a review of the first book, and it can be read as a stand alone.

I wanted to cover this book first because we are still amidst Pride Month, and this book holds a special place in my heart because of it's representation. This was the first book I ever read to feature an Asexual character. One where it was stated directly, and wasn't just my personal headcanon. But, I'll come back to that, let's talk about the actual book first.

Plot & Worldbuilding:

The book is just over 150 pages, so pretty short compared to what I usually read. But! It still manages to do a decent amount of worldbuilding in that limited space. Eleanor West's Home for Wayward Children is a place where children can go after they return home from a fantastical adventure. That was the premise that originally drew me in, after all, stories rarely linger on the idea of what happens to people after the adventure is over. However, this story isn't just about recovering from an adventure. In fact, most of the characters featured want to return to the world they visited. It was home to them. I loved this idea.

Nancy, the main character, finds herself at this home because her parents are worried about how she has changed since coming home, however, it isn't long after her arrival that other people start turning up dead. And, as the new girl, who visited a land of the dead, people start pointing the finger at Nancy. Which then in turn, makes Nancy decently interested in figuring out what's really going on.

Overall, I enjoyed the world and plot, but I do feel like it could have been done better if the book was longer, with more time to flesh things out more. I haven't read the other books in the series, so maybe this problem gets alleviated.

Characters:

I would say the characters are a bit weaker than the premise itself. I liked the characters, I just wish I knew them better. But, that is, again, probably more a symptom of it being a shorter work. I wasn't very invested in the characters who died, and because there is hardly any time spent with characters who are outside of the main group, there is no tension of worrying about who might be next.

The only character I felt like you really got to know, was Nancy. Who I will get to in a moment. With a little bit of focus on Kade and Jack, who I think are main characters in later books?

That Whole Asexuality Thing:

Spoilers (I guess) and also, this part is going to largely be me being pretty picky. Since it's opinion based, maybe take this section with a grain of salt.

I didn't like the asexual representation, and it felt like it kind of accidentally plays into some negative stereotypes that surround asexuality. Nancy is asexual, but not aromantic. And I really wish I liked her more, and I would probably like her more if she wasn't asexual. I think the idea that she is very still and distant, makes for an interesting protagonist. And gives reason for her being observant. But, it also makes her feel cold. Unfeeling. Which, isn't great given that is often how asexual people are perceived, but doesn't often reflect reality. She's "statuesque", which works well for her being more interested in aesthetic attraction, but also feels only one step away from being dehumanizing. Which, I don't think was the author's intent.

The thing is, I don't hate Nancy, or the asexual representation. I just know that it doesn't live up to my expectations and lived experiences. Even the parts that do, like having to explain asexuality and immediately being met with questions about masturbation, they still manage to feel a bit clunky and oddly worded.

Conclusions (There are still spoilers in this section):

The funny thing is, as much as I have often gone back and forth about whether or not I like the asexual representation in this book, one of the big reasons I never continued the series was because as far as I know Nancy isn't in the other books. And love it or hate, the asexuality was a big draw for me. Nancy gets her happy ending, she gets to go back to her world. I don't think it's the ending I would have chosen for her, but maybe that's the whole point. In the book everyone goes to different worlds, worlds that feel like home to them, even if that doesn't make sense for someone else. I originally went into this book expecting to see myself reflected in the pages, and parts do ring true, but it turns out that having a singular trait in common doesn't make you the same.

But, it's also why I think having variety in representation in so important. No group is a monolith. Asexuality is still hard to find representation for in media, but it has gotten better since 2016. Slowly but surely. For me, this book was the first (although I don't think I read it the first time until around 2018) and it's okay that it didn't perfectly encapsulate my experience.

[castieltrash1]

can you share your fave three fics you’ve written :) and if you want, maybe a snippet from each that you love!

OOH that is v difficult...hmm... i've written on so many different side blogs and, in all honesty, some of my fave pieces are ones that never got posted :P i've indulged SUPER heavily in self-insert fics the past year so a lot of snippets are prob from those :0 but i'll stick to published works with this ask so u guys can read them!!

under the cut bc the snippets and my commentary is a little long and i don't want to clog anyone's dash LOL

dangerous territory; clint barton x f!reader - this fic was my big comeback on this blog and i remember having SUCH a fun time writing it while being at the peak of my marvel fan era !!!

“I think,” he growls, catching you off guard as he pushes you back onto the couch, making you jostle as you try not to fall off the edge. He steadies you with a large hand, and you only jolt again when he uses his free hand to spread your legs, caging you in as his hips drop between your parted thighs. “You’d be a hypocrite for saying that.” He drops back to your neck, and you can feel his smile before his teeth sink into your skin lightly – just enough to make you gasp.

can't hold back; kim jongdae x f!reader - this one is from my kpop blog days </3 it has definitely aged itself in terms of skill levels but it will always and forever hold a special place in my heart <3 i wrote this on a summer vacation at the beach and it was the first story of mine that had a fully developed original plot :3 i was (and still am) very proud of it and it completely shaped the way i write fanfic now!! it was the blueprint truly hehe

Jongdae’s thumb lightly traced your cheekbone. “Here I am telling you to be careful, warning you about other guys, when I’m the greatest threat.” “Why is that?” You questioned. He chuckled, tilting down his head so your lips were centimeters from touching. “Because I’m the one that can’t hold back.”

stay with me; sam winchester x f!reader - ok this one is OLD. in fact, this is the first ever fanfic i posted on tumblr </3 it's so bad, hence why it only exists on a webpage article bc i deleted the actual post a long time ago, but WOW does it bring back memories <3 i do wish i hadn't deleted the post but alas !!! anyway, i cannot even include a snippet of it bc the writing is so atrocious but. yeah. without the encouragement from all the 2016 cas girls (iykyk) to post that fic, i wouldn't be here today, almost 7 years later!!!

sleepover saturday <3

[sorry-i-spaced]

1975, crybaby, & beaches! :)

I'm answering under the cut just cause this got a little long and I apologize (no I don't)

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?

Can this be memories I think about often? Cause I think about growing up playing in the backyard for hours on end!

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?

I've dyed my hair ombre, red, blonde highlights, and blue highlights. If I was to dye my hair again I think I would do blue highlights again, idk they were really cool and lasted longer than we thought they would with my dark head of hair.

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.

R5: I was 13 and in love with Ross Lynch! They actually aren't called R5 anymore, they disbanded and Ross and I think Riker are the only two left in the band and they renamed themselves the Driver Era. When I think about this now, I don't feel so ashamed that this was my first concert anymore! Yes there was a time when I hated admitting it, but I enjoy this little fact of mine now

Fall Out Boy and others for Kris Kringle Jingle a Radio concert: I was turning 16 and wanted nothing more than to see Fall Out Boy in concert! The local radio station was having a concert that year and the headliner was Fall Out Boy! I asked my dad (who was stuck at home recovering from an injury/surgery) if he could try to get tickets and he texted me in the middle of class to say they were sold out. But then surprised me with the tickets when I got home from school! When I think back to this concert it still illicits joy and excitement!

Pink Floyd tribute band (Brit Floyd): I was 20 and my family had just moved and I knew no one. So for Father's day I got my dad and I tickets to go this concert! It was legit a sea of bald/grey haired individuals and then me. But it was such a fun time! I was slowly getting into Pink Floyd and this concert helped me find new songs to enjoy! I still treasure this concert (I'm actually wearing the merch from that concert as I write this)

Riot Fest: I was 23 and this was my first festival ever! I had just moved and decided to go with my brother and his girlfriend! The headliner was My Chemical Romance and to say I was screaming would be an intense understatement! I also saw the Bleachers perform which was pretty cool! Besides that I learned that I'm low-key not a fan of festivals and will probably not go to another one. But despite that fact, I will hold this concert in a special place! My emo heart was screaming and my 16 year old self who ran across the field at a Mission Trip to Detroit the summer of 2016 to scream about a potential MCR reunion (that wasn't actually a reunion but a release of the anniversary of the black parade album) were definitely not prepared to see MCR in concert!

[thirtheenprimes]

G1 (1984): yes, fantastic, all the animation errors give it such personality. Optimus once said "let me unlock this door" and then shot it. Origin of the Witwicky, a strange creature that Autobot Bumblebee likes for some reason.

G2 (1993): is the same thing, they just added 90s music and superimposed a boarder. Just watch G1.

Beast Era (1996): Instead of coming online in the 80s when humans are around, they come online before humans are really a thing and they take on organic disguises with hair and shit. No thank you. Truk not Munky. I did not watch all of it I did not like it.

Robots in Disguise (2001): I have vague memories of seeing this on air, but I doubt I really watched it. I was more into Dragon Tales at the time (now I am obsessed with dragons also but that's a different post). I watched some early in my obsession, don't remember much, pretty sure it was an English translation of a Japanese flop of a show. I think Megatron was 14 stories tall at one point. 9/11 definitely influenced the release.

Unicorn Trilogy (2002): Mediocre. I definitely remember this on air, but not a lot of plot points. I have a comic book for the first installment, Armada so I remember it well. The second - Energon - and third - Cybertron - I remember less but will definitely watch again going forward.

Kiss Players (2006): NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO please don't

Transformers: Animated (2007): YES! My favorite of the cartoons! It honors and respects the original. They use clips of G1 as historical documents. Sparkplug is in the background. These are easter eggs, not evidence of continuity. But! BUT! Sari Sumdac is the best mot specialist girl in the whole world and I love her and she is the best and I love her so much. Optimus is a firetruck and a noob and so goddamn earnest and Bulkhead I love you and Prowl is such a fucking mood he is a goddamn ninja and also I love him!!! This one is the best!

Prime (2010): the first cartoon to come out after I had acquired my special interest and it holds a special place in my heart despite the fact I haven't seen all of it. I stopped watching once the government got too involved, and other time I watched I got a bit further. Love the trio of humans (Miko, boring teenage boy, and cute elementary nerd). This one is more modern cartoon, Genz vibes, meaning characterizations, jokes, and themes run a bit different than they did back in the day and I have a preference. Someday I'll watch it all.

Aligned? (2010): I know Prime is a part of this but it's the only one I know personally. I will not be watching Rescue Bots or Transformers Go!, or the rest of these shows. The connected games, however, I have played some and will play others probably. Skip these unless you are 4.

Myster of Convoy (2015): never heard of it until I looked up the transformers media page to find/verify dates. I guess it's an anniversary thing? The wiki only mentions Japan and seems to be a discussion of transformers and their history not an actual show? Idk.

Prime Wars (2016): apparently unaffiliated with Transformers: Prime like I thought. Never seen. Internet based with 3 seasons. Not that interested in seeing tbh.

Cyberverse (2018): haven't seen it, it came out after my obsession had started to wane and I was very distracted with college but I really want to watch this one. Despite my preference for older, clunkier designs, everything I've seen for this one makes me excited.

War for Cybertron (2020): Netflix. I was still getting over the Big Sad. I contemplated watching this so many times, but it somewhat confused me; it shares a name with a video game I had that I was - at the time - confident was a part of the Transformers: Prime continuity, but this show has nothing to do with Prime? Are they just using trigger words? Is this click bait? Idk, but I know next to nothing and could not probably pick it out of a lineup.

Botbots (2022): what the fuck is this? Yeah, this year, never heard of it. Is this a play on Moonmoon? The wiki says it's a comedy, so probably. Whatever, I'll look into it too. I don't have Netflix anymore but we'll find it.

EarthSpark (2022): didn't know it existed until I started seeing posts about it here on Tumblr and I gotta say, I'm highly interested. It's still got the spiky and smooth aesthetician all newer transformers have (probably because of he Bayverse) but you know? I've made my peace with that. This isn't 90s 2.0 (aka 2000-2005) anymore and I can accept that.

Actually I'm pumped to get back into transformers. My most specialist of special interests the one I hold dearest to my heart.

It became my entire personality for about 5 years starting when I saw Revenge of the Fallen in theaters. From 2009 to 2014 transformers was my favorite thing ever and consuming media was practically a holy experience. I got the original series from the 80s, I developed distinctly for the Beast Era, I grew fond of the Animated Series, I dabbled in Energon/Cybertron/Armada to remember that cartoon I barely acknowledged when I was young. I spent literally every second I could spare writing and reading fanfiction. Fanfiction.net was my second home. I still have literal hundreds of partly written stories taking place between Revenge of the Fallen and Dark of the Moon, or set in AUs.

When Dark of the Moon finally came out (2011 so in the middle of my obsessive years) I solidified my disdain for Michael Bay. I continued to cherish the first two movies as the proto n of my special interest and as the primary kindling to my fanfiction (easier to write for something so flawed than a source material that has none). Looking back, the reoccurring themes and characterizations I had reflect so much suppressed trauma and foreshadowing for finding out I have autism (as if normal neurotypical teenage girls obsess over the repeated retelling of children stories for toys originating in the 80s) (fun fact: Transformers comes from Hasbro purchasing specific transforming toys from a Japanese toy company and then creating a 4 issue comic - which continued on and I think is still ongoing - to market the toys. The original cartoon retroactivly dubbed "G1" aired around the same time as the initial comic run and was very popular, this kicking off dozens of other iterations to today).

This post isn't meant really for anyone other than myself, I don't really have anywhere else to rant about my special interests.

Bottom line: I want to get back into Transformers. I've been avoiding it since the Big Sad of 2019 so as to avoid tainting it.

[hwrryscherry]

The one where model Y/N is attacked in Paris.

blurb: Harry and Model Y/N are in Paris for Fashion Week 2020 earlier this year. To celebrate her first time walking for Gucci, Harry decides to take her out for a dinner date when a crazy youtube prankster attacks her while leaving the restaurant and Harry get furious as standing up to defend his girl.

word count: 3.5K

warning: rude and disrespectful attitude, invasion of personal space, violence, anxiety attack quote. DON’T read it if you feel uncomfortable.

author’s note: HIII, I know this took me a while. I was working on it when I got a cold and just couldn’t think of anything to finish writing this, but I’m much better now for god’s sake. I’d like to apologize with whoever requested this for taking such a long time to post it and say a huge thank you or requesting this too! This is completely inspired by what happened to Gigi Hadid in 2016(I guess) and I remember seeing this video and thinking why someone would do that, also, Gigi said once that the guy was lucky Zayn wasn’t with her sooooo I guess I just think Harry would be so furious because even though he’s a very chill guy, his girl safety and well being is the one thing that matters the most to him.

gigi’s video for the ones who didn’t see it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjsPmjqmcvs

       February 27th, 2020

   Today was the first time that you ever walked for Gucci, and it was amazing, you were beyond happy because getting where you are today being a short model and only being 22 years old it's something to be proud of. It hasn't been easy all the time but you were slowly making your way to the top and that's more than enough. And you were highly grateful for Harry either, of course you walked Gucci's show because of your talent and hard working and no one doubted that, but Harry did a important role in your newest contract with Gucci because you met the team because of him and his Gucci obsession. But anyway, the fashion show was amazing, and you had Harry on the crowd cheering for you all the time and God, he was so proud! He couldn’t even handle himself. He was recording everything and even got up when you did the catwalk next to him as he kept taking multiple pictures. If you have to be real, almost 90% of those pictures looked really bad because he wasn't focusing on the phone but he also wanted to register this moment and when you'd look through them later you'd actually laugh because most of them had a very blur image.

    When the fashion show ended, he had to congratulate you backstage. As you were starting to take off your outfit, you listened to your boyfriend's rough voice making you turn around to face him and see the biggest smile on his face, you could clearly see his dimples on the side of his cheek. He walked over to you instantly wrapping his strong arms around your figure hugging you so tight that you were even afraid that he would get the feat of ruining the rest of clothes you still had on.

— You were so great, I'm so pround of you! — Harry said on a low tone next to your ear before breaking the hug and looking carefully to your face. You had this crazy green eyeshadow that were halfway gone by now which caused him to chuckle — I love your eye look, it looks fabulous! — Harry said making you bend over to stare at the mirror behind you only realizing now you haven't finished taking off your makeup yet. You stand straight again giving him a mocking expression as you grabbed the makeup wipe you were using from the makeup table behind both of you.  

— I know, I'm thinking about wearing this everywhere because it's just really fashion! — you ironically said taking a smirk out of him as you turned around sitting on the chair in front of the mirror so you could have a sight of how you're makeup were doing — But thank you, you know I appreciate it!

— I do! And that's why I'll congratulate you by taking you out for dinner tonight! — Harry said walking towards you resting his hands on both of your shoulders squeezing them gently as he bends over giving you a small kiss on your neck.

— Oh, like a dinner date? — You'd ask with a smirk on as you felt goosebumps on your kiss with his little kiss.

— Exactly like a dinner date! And later, we can have our own private celebration! — He'd say with a  smirk on his lips as you finished taking your makeup off — What d' you think? Sounds good? — He asked you and you nodded at him and just some minutes later you both were out stage going back to your hotel in Paris. Harry called Jeff and asked him if he could make a reservation for both of you for tonight around 8 pm and he glady did, so as it was already 6 pm and as you both were probably the one couple in the world who takes the longest to get ready, you'd come back to the hotel and started getting ready already.

    Jeff made an appointment for both of you to go to Le Cinq restaurant which is located near the Eiffel Tower and Arc of Triumph. You absolutely loved Paris at night, for some reason it seemed more magical and interesting to you. The weather, the lights, the fashion and the language that you learned to master well through the years warmed your heart whenever you’d go there. When you were a child, you got used to always hearing your mom tells you:’’whenever you’re in love, go to Paris’’, and for this reason Paris was one of the first places where you and Harry traveled together as couple. Harry didn’t use to travel a lot for by the way. MOst of the time, he used to travel for work, so this changed a lot since you started dating because you love to travel. You’ve always been a free spirit person, the kind of person that goes wherever the winds takes you so with the time Harry became like this too as you started taking him to do the craziest things on the craziest places around the world.

    You felt the car slower it’s velocity as it got closer to the front of the restaurant, and you both could see by the window that the front was packed. As it was Paris Fashion Week, there were a lot of celebrities in the city and usually, fans settled in front of popular places around the city hoping they’d have a chance to meet their favorite celebs and even though you were already used to crowds at this point of your life, they’d still make you a little nervous, especially when it was in places not well known to you like a city you don’t live on.

— You’ll have to guide me because these shoes are really high and I don't want to step on anyone's feet — You said to Harry while putting your phone in the small black Prada bag you carried with you with your head down looking carefully to it because you’ve lost the count of how many times you thought you had put the phone inside your bag and you didn’t.

— It's alright! Hold my hand because there are a lot of people here! — Said Harry bringing his left hand up to your face to put a lock of hair of yours that fell in your face behind your ear and you nodded to him. Harry was really protective over you, and he has been that way since the beginning of your relationship. He’d always put your safety first anytime you’d go out together. When it was his about his concerts, you’d usually discuss about the fact that you want to be in the audience and he wants you to be backstage. It’d taken you a few minutes to convince him that everything was going to be fine, but it would also have days that it didn’t matter how much time you try to convince him he’d beg you to stay backstage so he could be relaxed during the performance. But you were grateful for him being that way, you were grateful that he cared so much about your well being because you know exactly how much some relationships can be destructive and you felt lucky to have someone this good in your life. Of course he wasn’t perfect, neither of you were but who is? He tried his best and that’s what matters the most.

    But anyway, Harry held your hand tightly and opened the car door, immediately feeling the camera’s flashes burning your faces and listening to some fans starting to shout. Harry’s bodyguards got between both of you and the crowd guiding your way to the entrance of the restaurant and you felt the heat from the crowd instantly even though the weather in Paris was only 59°F, it’d feel lot warmer until you entered the place. And that is one special kind of a place, The decoration was perfectly splendid, gorgeous and marvelous if you must say. The touches of gold and light blue mixed with the yellow coloration of lights and the spectacular french food scent brought a cozy and elegant vibe.The restaurant was a little full, nothing out of the common and you observed the many different sizes of tables and the groups of people in it.

    You both were taken to your table that was located next to the windows but wasn’t actually on the windows at it still had people outside and it feels weird to eat with people watching you. Anyway, Harry as the gentleman he is pulled the chair for you as he always did even though you had told him there’s no need for that. You both ordered glasses of your favorite white wine, neither of you were heavy drinkers but as it was a celebration it was much needed. The date happened naturally, just as all the laughing, talking and even gossips. This the casual couple gossip that you two would have, but it happened naturally. None of you ever felt like you had to pretend to be anybody else except yourself around each other.

    During the night, Harry would get lost in your face admiring your features while you’re talking. He would admire the way your eyebrows move when you’d change expressions, the way your eyes would form a very tiny line when you tried to see something that was away from you, he’d admire your smile and the sound of your laugh anytime you’d remember of something funny or he’d tell you something funny and he’d think of how lucky he is to have you, because even though he knows that sometimes he can be a pain in the ass(just as you can too) , you’re very lucky to have one another and to have someone who would make you feel this great and free about who you are. Because who you are is exactly who you need to be. Of course both of you believes that changing and envolving it’s the most important thing to do and sometimes you’d be surprised to see how much you both grew from the beginning of your relationship until today and that would bring smile to your faces. He feels lucky to be able to call you his girl, and god you loved when he’d do it. You loved when he was about to present you to someone and say ‘’This is my girl Y/N’’, it’d cause you to open a big smile because it felt natural. You’re his and he’s yours, period.

    When you both decided it was time to call it a night Harry paid the check against what you wanted because you wanted to pay this time. You’d honestly hate to have people paying for you, and this would usually be a point of discussion between you and Harry. You don't know why but you hate it, and it's just the gentleman in Harry wanting to spoil his girl again and again until he get tired of doing it, but he never does.

   You were about to leave the restaurant when Harry slid his right hand around your waist bringing you closer to him very calmly to kiss your cheek.

— I know you want to say hi to everyone but just walk to the car, alright? — He'd lowly talk next to your ear making you look at him with a serious expression — It's for your safety, love! It's late now, and we don't know who's there. — And he was right, it was past midnight now and there were still some people out there. How can they stand there in this cold weather? But anyway, you agreed with him as you both walked your way to outside. You felt flashes again, blinding flashing lights making you look to the ground as Harry held his hand on the back of your back guiding you to the car.

    As you walked towards the car, you felt a small hand touch your arm and you looked over to see a little girl with probably 12 or 13 years. She pursued tired eyes, and your heart ached with just the thought of keeping walking back to the car because you had no idea of how much time she’s been outside waiting for you so you stopped walking and bend down a little to get close to her height which made Harry stops walking immediately looking a little surprised but he understood when he saw you taking a picture with the little girl and how your face lightens up after it. You asked her what was her name and her age and she answered that her name was Lily and she was 13 she told you that she wants to be a model just like you when she grows older and that melted your heart. You smiled at her and told her that she could do whatever she wanted to and told her that when she grows up and becomes a model, you’d love to walk a show with her. When you’d stand up again you saw Harry looking at you with a small smile on his lips. He couldn’t deny he loves your kindness to every person in the world. It made his heart happy to know that he��s with someone with the same life philosophy than him. So he turned around to open the car door for you when you felt two strong arms wrap around your waist lifting you up and you froze.

— What the fu... — You'd shout before starting to hit him on his arms with your elbows as you'd move your legs trying to kick him with your heels. You'd feel flashes on your face and heat on your body increasing. It was the adrenaline and you were furious at this point. — Get...Off...Me — You'd shout as you'd hit his face with your elbows as well, Harry looked over to you and stormed out. He'd swear he'd never been like this in his life, he'd basically run to behind the guy's back and put his arm around his neck, Harry'd give him a punch right in the middle of his back and a slightly kick on the back of his knee to destabilise the guy which put you free by the moment he started to fall. Harry's bodyguard would hold you immediately trying to push you away from the crowd as you looked at Harry pushing the guy away from you.

— What the fuck were you doing? — Harry'd shout right into the man's face and watch as the man started to walk away from the crowd but Harry would go after him. Harry swears to god he couldn't even feel his body at the time. He was completely numb, moved by adrenaline and all he wanted to do was to beat the shit out of that man. — WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? — Harry'd shout walking after him getting no response which just made him angrier. At that time he didn't care about the cameras or whoever was watching him, he couldn't calm down when someone threated his girl safety and personal space. It didn't even need to be you. If he saw anyone threatening a woman's safety, he'd freak out in anger.

   You felt the bodyguards strong hands trying to push you away from the situation because that's what Harry would want him to do. He tried walking you towards the car, but you were reluctantly screaming for Harry because he could get himself hurt if he didn't come back to the car now. The other bodyguard walked after Harry grabbing him by the arm and Harry turned over to look at him with so much anger on his look and you'd swear you never saw him like this but then he did started walking over to you again.

   You finally entered the car and closed the door. You felt in panic. Basically paralyzed, you felt your anxiety attacking and your hands shaking. You could literally hear your heart beating so fast and loud that it scares you.

— Go get him! Follow him to hell. I don't care! Take him to the police office! — You'd listen to Harry talks firmly to his bodyguards as he opened the car's door and entered in it. He took a deep breath and turned his face to look at you. His heart broke at that moment. You were a mess. You couldn't even feel the tears leaving your eyes, but he did see them. He saw your hands shaking and how scared your eyes looked and at that moment all of his anger left his body — Love... — He'd sigh getting closer to you while wrapping his arms around your now-fragile figure. He could feel your entire body shaking on his arms. He caressed your hair with one of his hands as he hugged you tight to calm you down. He'd look to the driver and make a sign for him to start driving back to your hotel — Are ya okay? You're hurt? Did he hurt you? — He'd talk on a calm tone squeezing you a little on his arms. You'd lift your head up to look at him with red wet eyes shaking your head to him.

— I'm sorry! — You'd say lowly. He did tell you to walk straight to the car, and you didn't listen to him.

— It's not your fault, love! — He'd say wiping some of your tears and then carefully kissing both of cheeks — Don't worry about it, everything's gonna be fine, alright? It's okay!

   You'd spent the rest of the ride in silence. A comfortable silence. You'd be laying your head on his shoulder while holding his head getting your breathing and heart back to normal and your phones would start buzzing with notifications of what happened but none of you would see it, not now.

   When you got to your hotel, you'd get out of the car in the garage. You'd both walk slowly to the elevator and slowing to your room. You entered the room going directly to the king sized bed and throwing yourself in it because you felt like getting in a coma and just waking up to a time where all this drama would go away. Harry'd walk towards you and sit in bed beside you. He'd put both of his hands on your shoulders massaging them slowly.

— I'll prepare you a bath, so you can relax a little before sleeping, how's that sound? — He'd say trying to cheer you up a little bit.

— Sounds great, thank you love! — You'd turn your head to look at him with a forced smile on your lips. Harry'd bend down to kiss your hair line before leaving to the bathroom.

   He'd try his best to make you feel the most comfortable to sleep tonight. He'd prepare you a bath. He'd give you a message, he'd brush your hair for you but actually, he loves to do that. He loves to brush your hair before you go to bed, it was more like a routine for you both. He loves to feel your long locks on his fingers and to feel the sweet scent of it. He'd cuddle you until you fall asleep too, he'd even be the big spoon tonight so you could sleep on his chest breathing his perfume because he hoped that'd make you have a good night of sleep.

   And after you did, he'd look on the things on his phone. All the posts about you being attacked in Paris and him beating the guy who did it were just too much and he felt sorry that you'd have to see and read all of those stuff as soon as you unblock your phone. A lot of your friends texted him asking what happened and if you were ok. He'd answer the closest ones only, like his mom and Gemma, your mom, Bella and Jeff. He didn't know what you'll decide about the next fashion shows you had to walk, but he also knows that no one would blame you if you just chose to come back home in NYC.

  Harry didn't sleep at that night at all, he couldn't stop looking for what happened and why it happened. The next day, it was everywhere in the media and later you'd found out that the guy was a youtuber and he was making a prank when he posted his stupid youtube vlog with "I pranked Harry Styles's girlfriend and he punched me" as a title. You'd sue him for sure. You don't like taking those kind of actions, but it was necessary, he had to understand that you cannot disrespect people like this, specially people you don't know.

  After that you'd probably understand why Harry is so protective over you and Harry would actually get ten times more protective, if I had to be honest. But as the time passed by and quarantine came you both would leave it behind and move on with your life because in the end of the day you both will still have one another.

[kanmom51]

JM JK timeline.- my observations how they grew over the years - 2017

Disclaimer:  these are my own opinions and conclusions.  Feel free to disagree, but hate or aggression will be unacceptable.

This is a long one, so I will to post this in several parts (at least 4).

 2017 - Part 1

2017 is an enormous year for the couple.  This is such a significant year for the both of them.  

This is a year that both JK and JM become way bolder.  

Saying that, out of the two, it’s JK that I feel gets much more comfortable within his own skin, and feels ready to be louder.  Not only is JK making progress in coming to terms with himself, but he is ready to tell the world about it.  He is young, he is impulsive, meaning he most definitely needs reigning in by the members on several occasions.  

I think that is why, sometimes, it feels to us like he is more reserved with JM when it comes to the ‘skinship’ or closeness, because when he isn’t, he tends to go ‘too far’.  It’s sometimes easier to keep away, not touch, not react, than to touch or react and lose control in the process.  The ‘big’ or ‘loud’ moments we do get from him are mostly (GCFT not one of them) when he is acting impulsively, doing first and only then thinking it over.

Another thing we see this year is the two getting comfortable within the relationship.  By the end of the year we get to see how much more comfortable they are within themselves.  You can’t say yet that there is a calm between them, but they are getting there.  

At this point all the members of the group are aware of the relationship, and I believe that in 2017 the important surrounding staff are made aware too.  Were they outright told, or did they just ‘get it’ as the time past? Maybe both, in a way, all to be able to protect both members, and not to let things get out of control (protecting the band and the brand).  I think that the staff knowing allowed them both more freedom to be themselves, at least when off camera, without needing to hide all of the time.  

This is the year of both JM’s and JK’s love odes to each other.  

This year brought us bv2, GCFT, Serendipity, JK’s graduation and so much more.  

We still see the micro touches and brushes, but there is also a boldness, especially on JK’s part. As JK is finding his place within the relationship, asserting himself, he is also maturing, so he learns how to assert himself but also learns how to be more attentive to JM’s needs, especially his emotional needs.

JM was, and still continues to be JK’s anchor.  He is his biggest supporter, pushing him to challenge his boundaries, pushing him to the front, helping him when he is down, being there for him when he is hurt.

But JK is also there for JM. It is sometimes less noticeable, but he is the one that knows how to make him laugh, even when JM is down.  He supports him when he needs it.  He looks after him, makes sure he eats, protects him physically, when he thinks it’s needed.  

They are like magnets – constantly seeking each other’s closeness.

I know that there are many Jikook’s that believe that JK and JM’s romantic relationship started only after their end of 2017 trip to Tokyo.  I emphatically disagree.  2017 brings much development and change in their relationship, but that’s like every longer term romantic relationship.  There are shifts in the relationship.  The more the couple get to know each other, their wants and needs, they adjust themselves to that (as much as they want the relationship to continue).  That is the push and pull we see with the boys over the first 2 years .  Figuring out how they feel, what they want from each other, what they need from each other, and just how much they are willing to give the other or maybe give up of themselves.  

That’s a healthy relationship – when you manage to find that point of balance.  And that’s what the boys were doing throughout 2016 and 2017. That doesn’t mean that even after you find that point of balance there won’t be conflicts.  It does, though, enable you to come back to that balance faster, to be able to solve the conflict, because you understand each other better, and learn how to and when to give in (Summer package 2017 - the dream catcher saga).  

This brings me to the JK jealous narrative out there.  I don’t love it.  It makes JK out to be this possessive jealous boyfriend.  It’s oversimplifying and a bit juvenile.  Sorry, but that’s how I feel.  I’m not saying that JK ,or for that matter JM, didn’t ever get jealous.  They are human beings, like me and you.  Jealousy happens.  But there is a difference between getting jealous once in a while and creating this whole narrative of possessiveness jealousy, where someone is so jealous they can’t see anyone, including their closest of friends, come anywhere near your boyfriend.

Also, there could be other kinds of ‘jealousy’.   Not only seeing your significant other leaving you for someone else.  That is only one aspect of it, feeling threatened that someone you love will  be tempted to leave you for another.  But there are other aspects to jealousy too. You can be jealous of others, not a jealousy within your relationship, not a fear your significant other doesn’t love you or will leave you, but the jealousy of those others that can show affection to one another, but you can’t because of the nature of your relationship, that may have to be hidden.

There could also be frustration, not jealousy.  Frustration you need to keep hiding your relationship, when all you want to do is shout out loud to the world that JM/JK is yours.  

The fact that JK and JM’s relationship was something to be hidden, the fear of discovery (have you seen that clip when they are caught in the car ‘taking a photo for Twitter’? The panic on JK’s face? Seeing his face for me was heartbreaking) forced them to mellow down on their interactions, not to be obvious with the touchy feely between them.  

That, in my opinion, is another reason for JK’s minimalizing his skinship with JM.  Not knowing when it’s ok to touch, or just how much, or maybe the fear of going too far.  

JM had less of a problem with that.  Most of the time he was more calculated, knew exactly what he was doing, and how far he was pushing it (although, he too loses himself sometimes – Wings tour Japan documentary interviews, just for example).  

JK couldn’t do that, so sometimes the safer thing was to disconnect all together. That’s when the cameras were on, and not behind the scenes.  But not being able to show their love, having to hide, that took a toll on both of them. Seeing the person that they are building a relationship being able to be touchy with others but not with them, that hurt.  And that, in my opinion, is what we see and that is interpreted as jealousy some of the time with JK and with JM alike.    

2017 gave us plenty of content.  And just like with 2016 timeline, I just can’t address all of the content out there. I chose to refer to the content that seems most relevant to me.   No Twitter, mostly not photo shoots, even if they are the cutest.  Even if some of the moments there are spontaneous, most are directed.  The unicorn photo shoot, for example.  So beautiful, may have some spontaneous moments, but still mostly produced and directed.  Was it their own decision to pose with the unicorn? At this point in their careers, I doubt it.  It’s definitely a cute Jikook moment though.  They are beautiful, cute, have chemistry to die for, but it’s not more than that – not a JK and JM relationship moment, if you get what I’m driving at.

So, in JK’s words, let’s get it:

14 Jan 2017 Golden Disk awards – JK making his bae laugh, by imitating his own dance (Rainism) - exaggerating his own moves.  Yes Tae joins in, but JK is the one to initiate, and JM’s attention is solely on him.  He only has eyes for JK, but wasn’t that clear by now?

16 Jan 2017 ISAC 17 – I love these ones.  Just like with award shows, they have so much time to burn, that they sometimes seem to forget the cameras are there, so we get to see these little cute interactions between them, like JK finding his way to JM, wherever and whoever he may be with, little flirtatious behaviour, including JK finger hearting JM and JM doing it back to JK giggling. JM ‘flashing’ for JK .  JK holding JM’s hand, while it’s around JK’s waist, when photo taken.

19 Jan 2017 – Seoul Music Awards.  OMG, this is a big one for me.  They both look absolutely gorgeous btw.  This was one of the first clips I saw.  The way JK looks at JM, so beautiful.  But what topped the cake for me was what JK did.  JK notice JM back hugging Hobi, so he goes to Hobi, moves him aside, only then to go stand behind JM and back hug him, while gently placing his head on JM’s shoulder and closing his eyes.  

First of all, why move Hobi?  He wasn’t in the way, and it makes no sense to move him from below JM only to go behind JM and hug him from behind. Second, JK was fully aware that they were being photographed.  You can see the members around him posing for the cameras. This is where bold JK comes in. He needs JM.  JM is his safe place, his home, so who cares who can see or what they see?  He wants. No. Needs to hug him and feel him, so he will.  

When I saw JK close his eyes, I wanted to cry. I’m not exaggerating. It was so beautiful, so pure.  When I saw this, I knew.  I knew this was ‘something else’, something special.  

26 Jan 2017 – Global Vlive top 10 BTS – JK asserting his place by JM’s side.  Making sure JM doesn’t fall off the stool, but also pushing Jin back away from JM – that’s JK’s place not Jin’s.  We also get to see, again, the hesitation when touching JM, placing his hand at his lower back, only to pull back hesitantly.  We get the mutual glances, and them being in their own world.  At some point RM having to whack them out of it.

7 Feb 2017 – JK’s graduation day.  Big big day. Starting with JK making sure it’s JM standing by his side for the group photo.  In the car , on the way to their celebratory dinner,  JK singing a suggestive song while looking at JM – serenading him in a way.  Then JM asks JK what he wants for a graduation present, V telling JK that JM will buy him whatever he wants, and JK asking for an apartment (something that withing cultural context is a big thing).  The whole time there’s a flirty vibe between the two, V being the 3rd wheeler in the conversation.  

At the restaurant the boys recreate their photo from JK’s 1st day at high school too (of course it’s the two of them centrefold).

Then, to top the cake, there’s JM’s tweet.  The camera is on JM, and we hear what sounds like a kiss in the background bringing a big smile to JM’s face, and then what sounds like “My Mo, my mochi…”.  Then JM says congratulations and turns the camera sideways, only to see JK sitting there, and to JK’s smile and clapping.  V is in the back seat playing with his phone.  

Did JK send JM a kiss?  Did he call him his Mochi? .  Idk. 

It wouldn’t be the first or last time JK referred to JM as a Mochi.  

What I am sure of is that it had nothing to do with V. He was sitting in the back playing with his phone, totally ignoring or unaware of what was going on there.

To be continued...

[hanibalistic]

#8A4961 | BANG CHAN.

genre | werewolf au, questionable fluff

word count | 2016

warning | mention of injury, mention of poison

the pocket knife in your hand was bloodied with the werewolf hunter's blood, but all you could do as you run the opposite direction from where you were once walking toward was to pray that the wounded hunter, and his friends, did not catch a glimpse of your face.

chan has shifted to his wolf form shortly after the bullet poked through his chest. despite his strong resistance to losing control, whenever emergencies arise, such as being exposed by hunters in a local bar during a quiet drink, even a mighty alpha like him would take precaution and howl to the moon for strength.

chan had no idea where those men came from. he has never seen the likes of them, and he thought he knew all of his enemies already. were those new people? if they were, why have there not been any words spread between packs about this? this is no ordinary matter, this is about a hunting group, a common enemy—he would know if someone new came along.

you made a lucky stab to the closest man when you found out they meant harm, then you jumped off the wooden stool and raced out the bar with chan, who bolted the door to the bar with the heavy, decorative logs placed just outside as a waiting area.

you two did not make it far before a whimper left chan. you paused immediately at the pitiful noise and you turned around to find him barely standing on four paws, wheezing and whimpering with slow, heavy breaths.

widening your eyes when he fell to the side, you rushed toward him, sliding across the snow in the process. you knelt next to him. your weak hands were unable to lift his body when you wanted to examine his wounds, so you resulted in shifting through his furs carefully to find the bullet hole.

you knew there was nothing you could do, there was nothing you knew how to do. staying with seungmin, a beta your age who specializes in herbs and medicine, has taught you nothing about dealing with injuries. but if you could just take a look, you could access how severe it is and plan from there.

"ah–found it!" you brightened up when you found a trace of veins, but as quickly as your smile came, as quickly as it went. that was not the bullet wound, those strong veins were the aftermath of it—the aftermath of a poisoned bullet.

to kill an alpha, a simple bullet would never be enough, not even when he takes it to the heart.

even though you never understood why the killing was not necessary; people are so afraid of potential threats, it is almost stupid, especially when dealing with it causes more loss than letting it be.

"okay, it's okay, let's just... let's find a place to hide and rest," you huffed out quietly, looking around the foggy, snowy forest with furrowed brows, trying to find a way out.

your heart dropped when you found lanterns flashing at a distance.

the hunters were already here.

you saw chan's eyes shift downward, his ears flapping gently. he must have heard the sound of footsteps, or he sniffed out their malicious scent from all the way over there. either way, he was not happy with their approach, and he showed it by letting out a tantrum-like huff.

"it's going to be fine," you told him, but you were more so trying to comfort yourself when you realized chan may soon lose the complete ability to stay conscious and you would be left alone in a foreign tree maze. you slid your hands under his body and struggled to tuck him upwards. "come on, just try to stand, please."

chan complied with your request. he moved slowly, his legs bending and his feet anchored on the ground. he whimpered again when he added pressure to stand, and he fell almost immediately after his attempt. you barely caught him, and your yelp turned the lantern lights toward you.

he gruffed out when he heard the footsteps quicken toward you. he could hear their conversations: talking about your whereabouts, talking about the werewolf in a man's disguise, talking about his faceless companion who could be a potential liability, talking about taking the alpha's weakness.

his gaze sharpened. evidence kept being added to his theory. the fact that he has never seen nor heard of these hunters only proved that they could be sent through a rival pack who deliberately hid the information from them. now, with all this weakness talk? it only reinforced his theory.

chan looked away from the lantern lights to you. your frightened expression made his heart clench—the same expression you held when he found you hiding in your small closet after you got chased down the block and had your apartment door kicked open. the fact that he has to see it again made him fume with anger, and he couldn't think of much else but this: nobody takes you. absolutely nobody takes you, no matter what.

he already killed those who tried once, he will not hesitate to do it again.

"i am so sorry, but please just endure it a little more," you said, mistaking the nudging of his leg as a sign of pain spreading. turning to the approaching light, your breath quickened and you cursed.

think fast, think fast! do something!

you had refused to train to learn how to fight better, and you were unable to participate in meetings of private pack matters. you knew nothing about farming, or hunting for food, or cooking and knitting. you were practically useless, to be harsh, but because of chan, you still have a spot in the pack, a home.

you still stayed with chan's pack despite being traditionally unwelcomed as a human. for what reason, you never knew. some suspected that you may be the alpha's mate, or because chan was just being more generous than usual.

either way, everyone has treated you politely at best, some friendlier and more docile than others. you still have a place to sleep and food to eat. you were still alive right now. and it was all because of chan. he doesn't seem to like you, but he kept you safe nonetheless.

the least you could do was think of a plan. you owe it to him to not panic.

"i–i got something! just move a little for me, chan, please?" you said as you tugged at his torso and attempted to drag him with you. "just to the tree here, really close, please?"

he huffed questioningly but complied. he didn't stand to walk, he wasn't able to. his heightened senses could feel the silver poison spreading through his veins, burning and burning to weaken his system.

all he could do was dig his claws into the ground and drag his body as you pull onto him. it took three big strides for you two to arrive at a snow-covered tree. when you two were there, you immediately took off your jacket and draped it over him.

chan grumbled in protest when you pulled him toward your chest. you snuggled him against you, covering his wound and making it appear as if you were just someone sitting under a tree with a sleeping wolf.

"this is going to work," you muttered to yourself, "we are going to be okay."

the swaying of the lantern sounded—the noise of a door creaking, the sound of a high-pitched rusty gear. the circle light expanded until they were blinding your eyes. it moved away with a creak of the rusty lantern and standing before you was the hunter you remember you nicked with your blade, holding a shotgun in his hand.

"hello? did you need some help?" you asked first, attempting to establish an upper hand in the situation.

it was possible that your face was not discovered at the bar, and there was also a possibility that chan was only known in his human form. you could pass off as a normal residence in this area who is friends with a wolf, that was all.

"this forest is pretty big, it is very easy to get lost," you said with a laugh. "i learned it the hard way."

the hunter raised his brow, suspicious but not backing down yet. he tilted his head, nudging it to the side. "really? i suppose you know how to navigate through it, then?"

you shook your head calmly, a hand sifting through chan's fur. "no, but my friend here does."

"a friend?" he questioned, glaring to the side when his friends snickered under their breath in disbelief. "a wolf is hardly a friend."

"only if you fail to domesticate it."

chan deadpanned quietly. he knew better than to protest loudly at such a thin-ice situation. but please, him? an alpha? being domesticated? what a joke!

"what are you doing here?" ignoring your remark, the hunter asked, to which you sneered gently and sighed.

"i asked you first," you said. "do you need help? this is a big forest."

chan twitched beneath your jacket. you spared him no glance but ran a hand through his fur to soothe him. tilting your head, you flashed an impatient look, urging someone to talk.

"we are... we are looking for two people. one of them a man with–"

"didn't see them. i was sleeping," you interrupted.

"uhm, we followed a trail of footprints and they lead us right to you," he said, gesturing toward the ground where the footprints stopped right at where you two left off.

you raised a brow then, your heart palpitating strongly. but you took a short look at the snowy ground and you relaxed. pulling chan's warm body against you, you slumped closer to the ground and faked a yawn.

"look at the prints, sir," you muttered, "do they look like they came from two people, or one person and one wolf?"

"you guys walked into the wrong forest, sir," you said after a plop of silence. "there are only me and the wolves here."

the man lightly dropped his hand. you raised a fair point, unfortunately for them. despite his suspicion, capturing you both on the spot would be a bad look for them. not to mention, this area is known to have normal wolves littering around befriending humans—more people would believe in your faux innocence than their werewolf story.

"alright then," he voiced, deciding to call the hunt off now. "still, you should be cautious around wolves. they are loyal only to their own, and you are not their own, if you understand what i mean."

chan eyed up at the men. there was a low growl in his throat, the hostility spreading through his instinct to protect your rightful place in the pack, as well as to protest their assumption that you will ever be hurt by his hands.

you kept silent as they took their leave. your mind lingered at the hunter's words, realizing that a part of you knew you thought of what he said before he told you. you could not possibly be considered as their own, after all.

"chan..." you called, "when will i outgrow my welcome in the pack...?"

he shifted, a whimper leaving his lips. his healing ability is ultimately weaker in his human form, but he felt that if he stayed in his wolf form to maintain as much health as he could, he would miss an opportunity to make you feel better. sometimes words do speak louder than action, especially when the action is unclear and ambiguous to the receiver.

“no...” 

steam flowed upwards when chan shifted back to his human form. his clothes were long gone since they got torn apart after his shift. pressing his head to your shoulder to mask the pain in his chest, he huffed, “no.”

that was not a yes or no question, but you understood.

“okay,” you said. “let’s get you home now.”

chan nodded weakly. however you planned to do that, he has no idea.

[drarryruinedme7]

Last year I made a post with all my fave Drarry fics from my first year of fandom. Have my second year wrap up! Listed by Rating and then length. 

RATING: TEEN AND UP AUDIENCES

Beautiful by @xx-thedarklord-xx​​ (2017; 8.9k)

Summary: With the second task looming closer, Harry escapes to the Black Lake to open the egg, in the hopes of avoiding Myrtle. The Mersong isn't just helpful in figuring out that Mermaids are real, it attracts his very own handsome Merman.

*I didn’t know I love merpeople AUs until I read this one. It was cute and sweet and I’m really glad I read it. 

Hermione Granger's Hogwarts Crammer for Delinquents on the Run by @waspabi​​ (2017; 93.3k)

Summary: 'You're a wizard, Harry' is easier to hear from a half-giant when you're eleven, rather than from some kids on a tube platform when you're seventeen and late for work.

*What can I say. This is a masterpiece, it absolutely entered my heart to never leave it again. Best AU ever!!!

Away Childish Things by @letteredlettered​​ (2018; 153.8k)

Summary: Harry gets de-aged. Malfoy has to help him.

* This has been the turning point of my Drarry passion this year. First, I discovered Lettered (good Lord why hadn’t I before?!) and then, well. This fic brought out so many feelings in me and I’ve already re-read it something like 5 or 6 times in the span of a few months. Amazing.

RATING: MATURE

you’ve got the antidote for me by Kandakicksass (2018; 20.7k)

Summary: When Harry Potter unintentionally severs their soulbond before it can fully form, Draco Malfoy resigns himself to a slow death and decides not to burden Harry with a soulmate he's made it very clear he doesn't want.He's never been selfless before, but for Harry, he can try.

* The angst!! It’s usually not my cuppa, but this was bittersweet and just so well written, I couldn’t stop reading. Find the rec for this one at this post.

RATING: EXPLICIT

Give Me Sweet Oblivion by @tryslora​​ (2012; 4k)

Summary: Italy seems like a long way to go to keep a fetish secret. But the club is exclusive, and the far away location, and Muggle nature, promises anonymity from Wizarding Britain. The only problem is that sometimes, great minds think alike.

*Super hot, I love finding old gems like this one. Plus, Italy. Go, folks!

Shiny Things, Slightly Damaged by @lqtraintracks​​ (2020; 5.3k)

Summary: Harry may not ever have had to see it if McGonagall hadn’t decided it was a good idea to hold a ceremony on the grounds outside before the Sorting in the Hall. And by ‘it’ he’s referring to Draco Malfoy on a motorbike.

*jsklajdksajfa This one! THIS ONE! Slayed me. I read it feverishly and then like, fainted at Draco on a motorbike.... this fic surprised me and I 100% loved it.

A Ghost of Blissful Feelings by @alpha-exodus​​ (2020; 6k)

Summary: Harry hadn't expected to spend his eighth year fucking Draco Malfoy, but it's the only thing that helps him let go.

*Dunno guys, I’m amazed by how much this one hit me. You should read the tags before diving in, but it was darkish in the right way, Harry and Draco suffers and find peace in a ‘’special’’ way, but I stand by it. Hot and intense.

Tell Me (What you Need) by @keyflight790​​ (2019; 6k)

Summary: Even though Harry was paying for his Dom, there were limits; breaking points in which someone would refuse, no matter how many Galleons were pushed in their direction.

*Okay, I may be biased because this is a gift for me, but Chris never lets down with her amazing writing and this has everything I need and more: Dom!Rentboy!Draco and a perfectly sweet Harry with a Daddy!kink. I mean.

Dangerous by Faith Wood (2014; 6.3k)

Summary: Being trapped in a dungeon with Malfoy — who's a werewolf, a former Death Eater, and a giant git — is definitely dangerous. Harry has no reason to be excited. None at all.

*Y’all know Faith Wood is like my n.1 fave Drarry author. I have no idea why I had never read this one though!!! It’s actually phenomenal, scorching hot and just dsjkafjaks love this werewolf!Draco. OMG.

Scent and Sensibility by aidaninkling (2018; 7.5k)

Summary: [...] Draco's always known he'd be married off as a trophy omega, but suddenly his mother's trying to make him king by promising him to some stupidly good-looking alpha and she just won't stop smiling at him. Does fate's cruelty know no end?!

*This blew my mind. A/B/O AU so hot I melted while reading it and I loved it so much that I re-read it three times IN A ROW. No kidding. Read it. 

The Eighth Tale by @letteredlettered​​ (2012; 12k)

Summary: Draco Malfoy tries to fix the past, but instead mucks it up some more. For Harry, it all becomes quite clear.

*Back to Lettered. I love Time Travel fics, and this just delivered perfectly. The ending was also enigmatic enough to keep me wandering, which I always appreciate in these kind of stories. 

Sex, Lies and Veritaserum by @letteredlettered​​ (2011; 17.9k)

Summary: This entire fic is one long conversation about sex.

*LOL alright, I’ve developed a new obsession this year (clearly). This was ...gosh! Hot but it also gives away a certain level of intimacy and trust between Draco and Harry to be so open about their kinks... it was perfect.

On One’s Knees by pir8fancier (2008; 33.8k)

Summary: The war is over and to the victors go the spoils.

* The fic which made me fall in love with DownAndOut!Draco. 

The Pirate and the Prince by @nerdherderette​ (2019; 49.2k)

Summary: Draco can't believe that fate and circumstance have made him a stowaway on the Master of Death's ship. He doesn't know what's worse: the dread pirate's legendary vendetta against the aristocracy, or the fact that his captor is the most infuriating yet irrefutably fascinating man Draco has ever met.

*Okay y’all. Nerd is a great person and author. She is phenomenal. And this fic shows it so well. The pirate!AU the Drarry fandom both needed and deserved. Sublime.

Unhook the Stars by jad (2016; 70.5k)

Summary: [...] Seventy-thousand words of pornographic discourse between two boys-turned-men that still haven't learned how to communicate like normal people – with words. Guest appearances by Pansy Parkinson, Neville Longbottom, Hermione Granger, Blaise Zabini, Teddy Lupin, Gregory Goyle, the Weird Sisters, ex-wives, several Weasleys, a Boggart, and a Honey Badger.

*Again, Dom!Draco and such a beautiful sub!Harry. They stole my heart. In this fic they grow up together through the aftermath of the war and they just... they have this intense Dom/sub relationship, I can’t... explain how much I loved this. Scorpius also makes his appearance and it’s so real and cute!

Such Great Heights by aideomai (2015; 93.3k)

Summary: Draco Malfoy, wide-eyed and pale and in a decidedly ragged shirt, was crouched next to the pile of whatever the dragon had been eating. Harry threw himself to a halt and yelled, “Merlin, how many times do I have to save your life?”

*This is one of the last ones I’ve read. Find my rec for it here. Such a cool fic, with a shunned Draco who gets to be so happy in the end, it made me happy too.

Burn The Witch by @lettersbyelise​​ (2019; 95.8)

Summary: When Harry Potter is sent in to investigate Draco Malfoy’s successful potions company, posing as Draco’s bodyguard, he doesn’t know the case will launch a series of events that will change his life — and Draco’s. A story about choices, scars, Chopin piano pieces, and finding all kinds of love in the most unexpected places.

*I do not have the words to express what this fic means to me. First of all, it’s how I met Elise who’s an amazing person and who I’m glad to call friend. She’s the sweetest. And also incredibly talented. This fic will take your breath away from the first word to the last one. Smol!Scorpius is perfectly characterised and my absolute favourite bit of the fic. 

Who we are in the shadows by @quicksilvermaid​​ (2019; 99.7k)

Summary: What happens when you’re forced to become the very thing you despise? Ex-Auror Harry Potter, tossed out of the Ministry for something he had no control over, has been looking for a way back to his former life. When he comes across Draco Malfoy in the criminal underbelly of Wizarding London and in need of protection, Harry figures bringing him in to face the Ministry's justice is his ticket back to everything he's lost. But nothing is exactly as it seems. Not even Harry himself. And as he gets drawn further and further into Malfoy's world of honour and deception he finds himself questioning everything he thought he knew—about his childhood nemesis, the Ministry job he misses so much, and most of all, about himself. What happens when you’re forced to see that you were wrong?

*Another incredible person who I got to know better thanks to her breathtaking storytelling and her sweetness for sharing it with me. Quick made something amazing with this fic and I urge you to read it. It was my first creature fic ever, first time I read about werewolves and I totally fell in love with it. Sheer perfection. 

Freedom to be by @quicksilvermaid​​  (2019; 169.5k)

Summary: Harry Potter is the Boy Who Lived. 12 years after the war, he's become the Boy Who Lived For Everyone Else. He has the perfect wife. The perfect house. The perfect job. The perfect friends. Only nothing feels perfect. Until one day he stumbles across a club called Release and begins a journey of self-discovery that takes him to a very different place.

*Well, could I just miss out on another one of Quick’s great works? With, again, Dom!Draco!??? No, I couldn’t! This is such a great exploration of BDSM and what it means and Harry’s path into it. 

19 Years and 5 Minutes Later by TheMightyFlynn (2015; 202.8k)

Summary: Five minutes after his happily-ever-after, Harry finds himself locked in the public loos with an angry Draco Malfoy and a need that he has denied for 19 years.

*Find my rec for this fic here. It’s really long and has Ginny bashing, but it’s totally worth it!! 

[gellavonhamster]

ghost stories

Suicide Squad (2016) || characters: El Diablo feat. everyone else || post-canon, sort of a fix-it

ao3 link eng || this was first written and published on ao3 in Russian in 2016 but I didn't attempt to translate it into English back then.  

Harley is the first to see him.

She catches the smell first. Something appears to be burning, and she checks cautiously if there is something wrong with the coffee machine. She doesn’t find anything suspicious – not that the appliances about to flame up smell like that anyway. Could it be that there’s a fire starting? That would be funny, but seems like there’s hardly a chance. It is the smell of a bonfire at the beach, of the fallen leaves being burned in the yards in fall, of a melting candle in the church; weirdly, all this at the same time. A smell that seems too pure for Belle Reve, for Gotham, for everything that makes up her life these days.      

Harley looks around once again – and springs to her feet like she’s been stung.

Chato Santana is standing next to her cage.

“Diablo?” she whispers, unable to believe her eyes. She would’ve thought she’s lost her marbles if there were any left to lose.    

“Harley,” says Diablo, and it’s his voice, his shy, sad smile, his eyes and his tattoos, and Harley squeals in delight as she rushes to him. The bars of the cage are live, so she only dares to stick out the tips of her fingers. He touches them with his hand – certainly alive, certainly not a product of her mind being tortured by boredom and monotony – and she laughs.

“You’re alive, alive, alive! How did you survive? And how did they let you in?”

“It’s a long story. And I don’t think I have much time,” Diablo looks guilty. He’s still holding her hand and looking at her so earnestly it’s almost worrying.  “Harley… don’t go with him.”  

“Huh? What do you mean, honey?”

“He’s coming here. Don’t leave with him, Harley, stay. It sounds strange, but this would really be for the best.”  

“Don’t leave with whom?” she can’t follow him. He gives her a melancholic look – and suddenly disappears. Without any smoke or flames or any other special effects. She can’t wrap her head around how it happened – it’s just that he was here a moment ago, and now there’s no one beside her, and she’s reaching out towards nothing.      

“Diablo?” she calls, and when she gets no answer, she decides to get things straight by asking the guards. What kind of cruel joke is this? Only one person is allowed to joke here, and that person is her. “Hello there! Mister jailer, yoo-hoo! Where’s my friend?”  

No one is in a hurry to respond. Finally, one of the armed-to-the-teeth guards approaches the cage.

“Why are you yelling, lady?”

“Where’s my friend?” Harley asks petulantly. “He was here just now, and we didn’t finish talking. Where did you take him?”  

“There was no one here.”

“What do you mean ‘no one’? I just talked to him!”

The guard examines her from head to foot. Looks like he’s chewing gum, which, combined with his empty apathetic stare, makes him look like a cow.

“Definitely crazy,” he sums up, and leaves. Irritated, Harley forgets to take caution, hits the bars and falls down on the floor right away, writhing in pain.    

“Well, well, well,” she whispers, playing the recent events over in her head. Chato was very much corporeal – not a ghost, then. Yet the guards didn’t notice him, and then he vanished into thin air. Harley thinks about the being Chato transformed into by the end of the battle – an ancient one, as if straight from the walls of some Aztec temple. Could some petty bomb kill such a being? Could the Enchantress’s brother have survived too?  

“I am friends with a god,” she informs the ceiling. “Incredible.”

About an hour later, her Puddin’ comes for her, and she forgets the advice Diablo gave her.  

  Croc sees him on the night of the same day. He knows for sure that it is night thanks to the TV listings – the only reference point for time and days of the week that he has. Not that it was bothering him too much, truth be told. Monday or Sunday, every day in Belle Reve is a carbon copy of the day before. However, Croc doesn’t complain. He has a roof over his head, water, food – even better food than he used to have in the sewers in days gone by – and a TV, and it is honestly not too hard to do without such extras as companionship and fresh experiences. Still, he is glad to see Diablo. Even though first he lunges at him with his fangs bared, because he doesn’t immediately recognize him and supposes that Waller and company are sick of feeding him and decided to kill him. Or to put someone else in his quarters, which would have been no less audacious.        

“Croc, it’s me,” Diablo hastens to say, and lights up a flame over his left palm – so unusual and out of place in the dampness of Croc’s cell. Croc freezes and watches the flame for some seconds. That must really be Diablo; there are hardly many people in the world capable of such tricks.

“Hey, man,” Croc says. “Whatcha doing here?”

“Just checking up on you.”

Well, that must definitely be Diablo. Croc knows that there are hardly many people in the world who’d care to check up on him, but that sounds like something El Diablo would do. Back then, during the mission, he was friendly, asked “You okay?” after each skirmish, and could clap him on the shoulder without shuddering. And there are definitely even less people in the world that would touch him willingly.      

“Did they just let you in like that?” wonders Croc. Diablo gives him a slight smile.

“They don’t know I’m here.”

“So you’re, like, a ghost?” Croc asks. It occurred to him from the very beginning, but it sounds particularly joyless when said out loud.

Diablo gestures vaguely. “I’m still figuring it out myself, to be honest.”

“Hmm,” Croc glances over his cell. A bag of food on the cot catches his eye. “You want a burger?”

“Nah, I’m good. Save it for yourself.”

“They’ll bring more today, I’m telling ya.”  

“Then I want one.”

“Then you’re not a ghost,” grins Croc, and the fact that Diablo doesn’t flinch or try to look away also proves that this is the real Chato Santana, because most people don’t like seeing Croc smile.

And so he and Diablo, who kind of is a ghost but kind of isn’t, sit there eating burgers and watching some crap on MTV. Life has taught Croc not to be surprised by anything, so everything’s fine.  

“So what happened after the bomb went off?” Croc asks. Diablo opens his mouth, and then closes it again, apparently at a loss how to explain.

“I was smoke,” he speaks finally. “Then I was flames. Then I became myself again.”

“I see,” Croc replies, although, of course, he can’t see shit.

“Who are you talking to?” comes the guard’s voice from behind the door. “Hey, scum!”

Croc puts the burger aside.

“Wait a bit,” he tells Chato, gets up, and heads for the door.

When he comes to the bean hole, the guard already looks like he regrets calling him.  

“No one,” Crock smiles as widely as only he can, and the guard, who isn’t among the people able to watch him smile without blinking an eye, steps back reflexively. “But come inside, and I’ll talk to you if you wanna. How about that?”   

When he turns around, Chato has already disappeared, and Croc could have assumed he has dreamed it all, but there are two half-eaten burgers on the cot, not one.

  Digger sees him next, and he isn’t even amazed. The bastards keep drugging him with all sorts of shit to calm him down. Usually after the shot he just lies there, feverish, and can’t even move, let alone stand up, but who knows, perhaps they’re testing some new poison on him. Or they’ve started using something stronger because they noticed that a couple of hours after the usual stuff he’s already able to yell, bang at the door, and do everything he can to get the best of them while cooped up inside. Or it’s simply that there’s already so much of this shit in his blood that it’s impossible not to have any screws loose, try as he might to keep them in place. In any case, he’s not exactly shocked when, as he tosses and turns on the floor after another injection, he turns his head and sees El Diablo, large as life and twice as ugly.

“Fuck me sideways,” Digger says. He doesn’t have any energy to be mad yet. “I must be tripping.”

“You’re not tripping,” Diablo objects.

“You died. So I must be.”  

“I didn’t die either.”

Diablo sits down cross-legged on the floor next to him.

“Has it crossed your mind that if you stop getting on their nerves, they might start treating you better?” he asks.

“Go to hell.”

“Message received.”

There’s a footfall outside; a whole bunch of people must be running somewhere.

“They’ve turned the entire joint upside down,” says Digger, because it’s been ages since he has spoken to anyone who’d at least pretend to listen, so a hallucination will do. “Blondie escaped.”  

“I know,” Diablo replies gloomily. “I tried to warn her not to go with the Joker, but she didn’t listen to me.”  

“Why warn her?” Digger asks. Harley Quinn is no bosom friend of his, but she kind of tore out the heart of the witch who kind of tried to end the world, and anyway, teammates probably should take interest in each other’s lives. Probably. He’s never really made sense of that teamwork stuff. “What’s he gonna do to her?”    

“At best, what he always does.”

Two tiny figures of fire appear on Diablo’s open palm – a man and a woman. The man backhands the woman across her face, and she falls down. Digger watches the dancing flames with fascination, and meanwhile in his head, bit by bit, stroke by stroke, a plan starts to take shape. He wouldn’t be Captain motherfucking Boomerang if he fails to use any opportunity that turns up – even a ghost of one. 

“Listen, mate,” he begins cajolingly. “If you’re really here and it’s not just me tripping… help an old friend out, won’t you? I’m fed up with being stuck here, you know.”

“I’m not gonna help you escape,” Diablo says calmly. “How do you imagine that would even happen?”

“Can’t you just burn the entire Belle Reve to the bloody ground?”

Diablo smiles.

“I can,” he admits. “But I won’t.”

The next thing he knows, the son of a bitch is gone without a trace. Anger and offence must be giving Digger strength, because he manages to leap to his feet. Like a lunatic, he thrashes around the cell, looking for at least some kind of proof that someone else was here a moment ago.  

“Oi!” he shouts, knowing damn well that the guards have long stopped listening to what he has to say. “Grab the devil! A convict escaped! Hey, wankers!”  

But he’s feeling lightheaded, and this shit must be really strong, and he collapses, badly hitting his head.  

  Tatsu sees him next – late at night, in her apartment. She’s a light sleeper, and wakes up as soon as she hears footsteps. The sword is close at hand, and she grabs it instantly, blade swishing through the air.  

“Who’s there?” Tatsu asks, and then repeats in English. “Who’s there?”

There is nowhere to hide in her bedroom. The only furniture is the mattress and the pair of chairs she uses to hang her clothes on. Everything is on the floor or on the windowsill – weapons, her laptop, the book she tried to read before going to sleep but could not concentrate on. It is an ascetic, comfortless dwelling that does not look permanent and is not supposed to become so. Fate and Amanda Waller, though, seem to have other plans in this respect.  

There is nowhere to hide in her bedroom – but someone’s definitely walking in the antechamber; she flings the door open – and sees El Diablo, standing by the entrance and looking around. In a blink of an eye Tatsu is next to him, and the blade of the Soultaker is pressed to his neck.  

“Katana, it’s me,” Diablo says, unfazed. “Chato Santana.”

“Chato Santana is dead,” she says through her teeth. Chato Santana was a gangster who killed, albeit by a tragic accident, his own family – but she fought side by side with him, he sacrificed himself to save the world, he called their squad his family and died for them. That is enough for her not to let anyone use his name as a cover. “Who are you?”    

“I’m alive,” Diablo replies. He puts his hands up to show he’s unarmed, and forks of flame appear on his palms. “Or sort of.”  

Sort of.

Tatsu lowers the sword and looks warily at the man standing in front of her.

“How did you…”

“You’re gonna have a new mission soon. Demand that Waller tells you everything.”

“About what?”

“I couldn’t overhear that,” he says with regret. “But…”

Something knocks on the window. Tatsu turns around quickly, but that must’ve been just a tree branch hitting the windowpane. When she turns back to Chato, he’s already gone, and her apartment is silent.

It’s just four in the morning, but she can’t make herself fall asleep again. Having poured a cup of tea, Tatsu sits down on the mattress and thinks, think, thinks about what just happened. Tatsu believes in ghosts – her sword is teeming with them, so she wouldn’t say that her worldview is shaken. Still, this is strange, very strange. What did he want to tell her? Why did he disappear so abruptly? Like… a broadcast was interrupted.    

Colonel Flag calls her at daybreak and tells her that there’s a shoot-out between two gangs on the outskirts of Gotham, with metahumans on both sides. When Tatsu arrives at Belle Reve, it turns out they must have considered it to be not enough to ruin her Saturday morning, because she is asked – more like ordered, actually – to escort an inmate from his cell, an inmate who attacks anyone who tries to enter and has already injured three guards with his bare hands, and it’s not reasonable to sedate him before the mission, and “he’s likely to obey if it’s you, Katana” – the last is Rick’s argument, and if he told that to her face and not on the phone, she would have had to strain every nerve not to hit him with something.    

No one tries to attack her when she enters the cell of Captain Boomerang – Harkness is sitting on the floor quite still, his arms around his knees, and when he notices her, he even smiles with bruised lips.  

“Hello, gorgeous,” he says. “Am I hallucinating you too?”

“No,” the question is unexpected and confuses her. “Why?”

“Well, they keep injecting me some crap, and lately I’ve been seeing things,” Harkness explains peacefully, even eagerly. His voice is quiet and hoarse, which, combined with his Australian accent, leads to Tatsu being barely able to make out half of what he’s saying. To hear him better, she crouches down next to him, still gripping the sword hilt – there is no telling if he isn’t just making her come closer to take her down and bolt. “Saw the devil yesterday.”      

“The devil?”

“Our devil. Día… de fucking Muertos. Chato Santana.”

Tatsu gives a shiver and, having lost her balance, half sits down, half falls on the dirty floor.

She isn’t the only one to have seen him. She isn’t the only one he wanted to send a message to.

“Hey, luv,” Harkness frowns and reaches out to touch her knee lightly. “You all right?”  

“Same as you, more or less,” she wants to reply, which of course would mean she isn’t, not at all.

“What did he tell you?” she asks him instead.

  When Floyd sees him, he is hardly surprised, since the others have already warned him. Boomerang, Croc, and Katana tell him everything while they’re waiting for the helo, and had it been just Boomerang, who believes inexplicably that he has a sense of humour although he certainly doesn’t, Floyd most likely wouldn’t have believed his ghost stories, but it is even harder to believe that Croc, let alone Katana would agree to take part in such pranks. Which is why he listens to them closely and takes note: okay, then he doesn’t have to worry about his mental heath if the late Santana suddenly appears out of nowhere to give some advice or share some news or simply ask how he’s doing. So the four of them keep whispering to one another like kids at the back of the class until their transport arrives – just the four of them, which is a pity. If there is anyone on the team that he had missed a little, it’s Harley. Floyd knows some things about the Joker, for it isn’t possible, as they write in the papers, to belong to the criminal world of Gotham and not know anything about the Joker. Floyd knows what Flag had spilled to him when visiting him in his cell or escorting him there after a visit to Zoe. Floyd thinks that in his entire lifetime he hasn’t understood a thing about love – is it even possible to understand it, on the other hand? – but he feels like the mad and brilliant Harley, Harley the whimsical, Harley the loving deserves better.                

“What’s with the gossiping?” Flag inquires suspiciously.  

“Nothing!” Croc and Digger answer in unison, in unison, and Floyd facepalms because seriously, are they in some cheesy movie or what? They don’t tell Flag anything yet, but Floyd is almost sure that sooner or later Santana will visit him as well, because Flag is one of them too, after all. Not that he’s even trying to deny it; no one’s making him drop by Floyd’s cell every other day to chat about some nonsense through the steel door.          

So Floyd is hardly surprised when, as he makes his way behind the dumpsters loading one gun after another, he notices a familiar, head-to-toe-tattooed figure standing nearby.  

“There are snipers on the roof over there and around the corner of the shop,” Chato says instead of greeting. Floyd nods.

“I noticed.”

“Eight men in the drugstore on the other side of the street. Each with a machine gun.”  

“How do you know?”

“I’ve just been there.”

“Got it,” there’s no time for lengthy conversations. No time to say: glad you’re alive, man. No time to ascertain: are you alive, though? So he thinks over the plan of action, making a mental note to ask all these questions later, when there are no bullets whistling past their ears.  

People like them deserve no guardian angels, frankly speaking, but they may have managed to earn one for all of them.

[mostlyfate]

hi! could you tell what are you favorite dramas over time that you’ve watched? 🤍

Hi hi! I’m pretty sure I have answered similar asks before but it’s been a while and I have watched more dramas! I also feel like my perspective on some past dramas (that I’ve called a favorite or recommended) have changed. I do have a drama list page here you can check out but I haven’t updated it in a long time lol. I’ll list my absolute favorite dramas + also some that I enjoyed and would recommend to give a try~

Japanese Dramas:

— Itsuka Nemuri ni Tsuku Hi (2019) | episodes: 06, duration: 25 min. genres: fantasy, friendship, school, supernatural.

This one still makes my heart hurt whenever I think about it and I just simply love it to pieces. It really has left an lasting impression on me. Short and bittersweet. ♡

— Talio Fukushu Daiko no Futari (2020) | episodes: 07, duration: 45 min. genres: comedy, crime, investigation, suspense.

It’s been months since this one has ended but I still haven’t shut up about it. As of right now I can definitely say overall it’s my favorite Asian drama I’ve watched so far. The way both leads played off each other and their chemistry was just- a++ The soundtrack for the drama was also such a treat and the vibes matched it so well! The vibes of the whole drama though!! I think it was also shot beautifully. And the consistency (!!! the way they kept things going even the smallest details !!!) throughout was something I really appreciated and looked forward too :’) I really be missing it everyday... </3

+ special mentions:

- Koi wa Tsuzuku yo Dokomade mo (2020) 

- Bishoku Tantei Akechi Goro (2020)

- Kishibe Rohan wa Ugokanai (2020)

- An no Ririkku: Sakuragi An Haiku Hajimetemimashita (2021)

- Uchi no Musume wa, Kareshi ga Dekinai (2021)

Korean Dramas:

— Splash Splash Love (2015) | episodes: 02, duration: 1 hr. 10 min. genres: comedy, historical, romance, supernatural.

This one isn’t an full length drama but a special. It’s just a fun and charming drama? Like not exactly sure what about it made me love it so much? but I do and it’s an easy/quick watch. :)

— Guardian: The Lonely and Great God (2016) | episodes: 16, duration: 1 hr. 22 min. genres: comedy, fantasy, melodrama, romance, supernatural.

Ah, so I feel like everyone who’s seen a kdrama or looked up some has watched/heard of Goblin and from what I’ve seen it’s like either you loved it or hate it? I’m someone who did love it and the soundtrack for it was a+. Goblin was something I watched when I just started getting into kdramas so that might be a reason for me always mentioning as a favorite though! Also my love for Lee Dong-Wook as Grim Reaper... and the bromance/comedy were the best parts for me!

— While You Were Sleeping (2017) | episodes: 32, duration: 30 min. genres: comedy, fantasy, mystery, romance, thriller.

So, the first kdrama I ever watched! It holds a special place in my heart because of that fact! The soundtrack for this drama also... I remember listening to it on repeat for a while after finishing. :’) I don’t regret this being the first I watched because I remember being super into it (I’ve rewatched like two times tbh when I had hulu back when lol) and it introduced me into kdramas. I still love make gifs for it because it was such a pretty drama as well. ♡

— Run On (2020) | episodes: 16, duration: 1 hr. 15 min. genres: life, romance, sports.

PLEASE, best kdrama of 2020 for meeee! Honestly Run On was such a treat?? Ugh I be missing it. It was just too good. It gave us the most chaotic energy and epic moments. Like when will another kdrama ever??? Also me liking literally almost all the characters?! I struggle with always being annoyed/disliking every other characters in dramas that aren’t like the mains. So it’s really one I enjoyed from beginning to end and looked forward to seeing all the characters ending. For me each episode just top the next and there wasn’t an episode I didn’t enjoy! ♡

+ special mentions:

- Bad Guys (2014)

- Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok-joo (2016)

- Strong Woman Do Bong Soon (2017)

- Secret Forest (2017) + season 2 (2020)

- Prison Playbook (2017)

- Chicago Typewriter (2017)

- Life on Mars (2018)

- What’s Wrong with Secretary Kim (2018)

- Extraordinary You (2019)

- 365: Repeat the Year (2020)

- A Piece of Your Mind (2020)

- Handmade Love (2020)

Chinese Dramas:

*I want to say that there hasn’t been a cdrama yet that I’ve really loved and felt like a connection/attachment to? But I have enjoyed many so I’ll list the few that come to mind!

- Unexpected (2018)

- Go Go Squid (2019)

- Joy of Life (2019)

- Put Your Head on My Shoulder (2019)

- Dating in the Kitchen (2020)

+ special mentions to these few others:

Thai Drama: Girl Next Room: Richy Rich (2020)

Taiwanese Drama: Wacko at Law (2020)

[ozzo-the-wozzo]

ask game with my own spin :) 1, 5, + 13. also(if you want), when did you get into this fandom, and fandom in general? i started watching miraculous (i want to say 1 or 2, but ) 3-5ish years ago when seasons 1 + 2 were airing on live tv. then i started really getting into it and binged all the eps and started watching s3 (in order) as it came out/on yt. then i found tumblr and ao3 through the wiki and here i am! this is my first fandom♡ ps watching s4 is way easier since i found your other blog♡

Awwww, having ml as your first fandom must rock!!! And thanks for the compliments about the season 4 blog, I’m really happy it’s helped you <3

1. For how long have you been watching Miraculous Ladybug?

Ive been here sinceeeeee *drum roll please* 2016! I got into miraculous as a middle schooler, as one does, and it really says a lot as to how long this show has been on that now I’m going off to college in the fall!!

5. How did you get into Miraculous Ladybug?

Oh I LOVE this story. (Story and rest of questions under cut so this post doesn’t get too long)

So in middle school, I had this friend who was obsessed with the show since the PV. She had been asking me since the very beginning to watch it, but I was always too lazy to and never did. Season 1 came and went, and she still was begging me to watch this show, and she had so much faith that I would she made sure not to spoil anything.

Well, one day I get sick.... like, REALLY sick. I had to stay outside of school for an entire week. Within that time, I quickly ran out of things to do, and since Kisscartoon was still a thing at the time, I go on there to look for a show to watch, when I remember my friend’s suggestion. And I decide hey what the heck, might as well binge right?

So on the website the first few episodes of ml were in Korean, and the rest of the season in French, so that’s how I experienced rhe first season (with subs ofc) and I fell absolutely in LOVE. I hyperfixtated on it to the point where I would wake up, start an episode, and watch until it was time to go to sleep, with my mom having to force me out of bed. I think I finished season 1 (the only season that was out) 2 days. And my brain was so far gone from how sick I was I actually CRIED at certain points. It was clownery.

Ofc, when I told my friend she was ecstatic, but because of the different dubs I didn’t get some references (like pound it for instance), but eh. And fun fact, this very same friend is the one that gave me the name ozzo, since one morning she called me ozzy instead of Izzy (my nickname at the time), and eventually it evolved into ozzo and she’d call me ozzo the wozzo..... hence the tumblr name! I’m so sad we lost touch, since she’s technically responsible for my entire tumblr persona haha.

13. What’s your preferred dub?

As stated above, I got into the show with the French and Korean dub, and honestly the French is my favorite! I absolutely hated the English dub at first LMAO, but now I really love it, and I prefer it when episodes are airing since it makes things a whole lost easier. But I got to say..... the korean dub holds a very special place in my heart. I don’t rewatch the show with that dub a lot, but the first ml episodes I watched were in Korean, so it holds a special place in my heart.

+ Your Bonus question: When did I get into the ml fandom/fandom in general

So I used to be really into Star vs the Forces of Evil, and when looking for fanart I stumbled across tumblr. This was late 2016ish. Middle school me wasn’t allowed social media, so I just made an account to like fanart but made no posts or reblogs or anything. Thats actually where the “nothing to see here, there isn’t a blog in sight” in my desc comes from!

I also lurked a lot In the ml fandom. I got to witness all the “IS GABRIEL AGRESTE HAWKMOTH????” theories and fanart for the breakdancing au and such. I would comment on posts by this time, so I was much more interactive in the fandom. I guess I didn’t “officially” join anything until 2018, when I made my first ever post on tumblr (which you can see in all its cringy glory here!), and when I started to make ml memes and such related to fandom things I had known for a while due to my years of lurking, AND I saw that they got a lot of notes, I became hooked!

Sorry this was so long, but you asked sooo many good questions and really took me down memory lane. Thank you anon!! :)

(Ask game here if you want to ask me a question!)

[ineloqueent]

hi tina 💞 not sure how easy this is, since my astrophysics knowledge is nearing -273 *C, but you could do mutuals as astronomical sights? comets, planets, galaxies etc... sorry if not!! 💖✨

anna! and anon! you’ve given me a wonderful chance to ramble about space. you may come to regret it, however...

if i’ve forgotten you, please do not take it personally! i didn’t mean to. my mind is just but a glorified puddle :)

@archaicmusings — vega

vega is the brightest star in the constellation lyra, and happens to be my favourite star. don’t ask me why vega is my favourite star, or why lyra is my favourite constellation, because i haven’t got a coherent answer for you. i’ve just always been drawn to them. a bit like cal, really. i feel like we’ve known each other for far longer than just four months, and she’s so lovely that i’m fairly sure i could say anything to her and she’d just accept me for whatever rubbish i’m rambling about this time. and, in the depressing year that’s been 2020, cal has been a bright star.

@drivenbybri — halley’s comet

honestly, is there anything more iconic than halley’s comet? there can’t be much. probably the best known comet of all time, halley’s comet is a short-period comet (and if you’ve read starstruck, you know how much i prefer short-period comets to those long-period comets with their damned 200-year perihelions, even if certain people suggest that this makes them quite special), meaning that it is visible from earth every 75-ish years. halley’s comet last made an appearance in the lovely year of 1986, and will thus appear next in 2061 (i’m so excited for my 59-year-old self!!!). halley’s comet, though well-known, is still a rare breed, so to speak. it is rare, and extraordinarily beautiful that a comet appears to a human twice within their lifetime. sofie is rare, just like halley’s comet, and equally beautiful, both in heart and with that lovely curly hair of hers. i’m honoured to know her, just as i shall be honoured to see halley’s comet one day.

@brianmays-hair — cassiopeia a

cassiopeia a (or rather, the remnant of cassiopeia a) was a supernova within the constellation of cassiopeia. for those of you who do not obsess over interstellar matter the way that i do, supernovae are explosions of massive stars, or white dwarfs drawn to nuclear fusion, within their final stages of life. not much is known about how these explosions necessarily take place, and nasa has only caught on video one such explosion, back in 2016. the most commonly presented image of the remnant of cassiopeia a is a false-colour image, composed with three different wavebands of light. it is, as you can see, very beautiful. supernovae radiate energy and light throughout the cosmos during their existence, and thus having a great effect on the space surrounding them. i therefore liken jess to cassiopeia a because she has a brilliant personality, vibrant and inspiring, which comes across especially in her writing. but of course, the beauty of cassiopeia a has nothing on her.

@deacyblues — sirius

as far as we humans and the scientists among us know, sirius is the brightest star in the observable universe. housed within the constellation of canis major, sirius has always been monumentally important in terms of navigation, since ancient times. i tell pearl this all the time, but truly, i mean it; her outlook on life is inspiring, how she never fails to be positive even in times of great trouble. like sirius, pearl is a light, ever-present within the mindset of living for today, ever-determined, and unfailingly kind.

@joemazzmatazz — black hole

please let me explain before this gets taken the wrong way: I LOVE BLACK HOLES. i specifically want to study black holes, whenever i get the chance to specialise within astrophysics. they fascinate me to no end, with a kind of allure that only the mysterious can hold. furthermore, black holes may be the key to understanding the universe; if we understand black holes, we will be able to make headway on other matter, such as dark matter, and dark energy, the latter of which makes up the majority of the observable universe, and will lead us to astronomical (if you’ll pardon the ill-worded expression, and the unintentional pun) conclusions concerning both the beginning of our universe, and the eventual end. regan, just like a black hole, is a wealth of information, especially concerning the knowledge she harbours about disney, and the business management sector of it. it’s quite truly inspirational.

@im-an-adult-ish — the milky way

ah yes, the milky way. home to all of us. and that is the essence of my explanation here. meredith has such a friendly way about her, and she’s the kind of person you can easily turn to and feel welcomed. a bit like our little corner of the universe <3

@almightygwil — the sun

i think this is probably self-explanatory, if a bit repetitive, but ellie is a ray of sunshine. but perhaps that sells her a little short, because ellie is just so genuinely lovely that she must herself be the sun. her writing talent astounds me (you could say it blinds me, ha ha), and she never fails to be somehow both sweet and very chaotic at the same time. it’s very admirable (and certainly relatable, on the chaotic front). the sun itself, if we think about the surface and the fusion that takes place there, is both the sweetest sight ever seen, and quite chaotic, so i think it fitting that ellie is the sun.

@hijackmy-heart — callisto

callisto is one of jupiter’s moons, and my favourite, because it looks like a piece of the night sky decided to curl up into a ball. i don’t know nat too well, but i know that she’s gorgeous, like callisto, and loves roger taylor. let me explain. jupiter, in roman mythology, is the god of the sky and of thunder. in norse mythology, thor is the equivalent of jupiter, and to me, roger has always had a bit of that typical scandinavian look going, with the blonde hair and blue eyes (not to say that all scandis look like this, but he fits the stereotype :)). nat loves roger, and callisto orbits jupiter, so there you have it.

@six-bloodyminutes — the moon

the moon has a serenity about it, and mo has a knack for telling quite wild things with a most casual air. for instance, according to my sources, when a certain dorm room caught fire (?). mo thus bears this serenity, akin to the serenity i associate with the moon, with equal grace and chaos.

@dancingdiscofloof — pluto

pluto! the not-planet-oh-wait-maybe-it’s-a-planet-jk-jk-unless..? i still think that pluto should be considered a planet, despite the many arguments against the poor sod. pluto was once a planet, and should therefore have remained a planet, for the plain and simple fact that taking away its planethood was like giving a person a present, and then taking it back immediately afterward. anyway. i’m rambling. i also do not know rove very well, but i know that she’s kind, and, judging by the memes she shares, both of ryan gosling and tom hanks, that she is quirky— a bit like our beloved pluto.

@imcompletelylost — aurora borealis/aurora australis

also known as the northern lights/the southern lights, the polar lights, the merry dancers, the fox fires, or swarms of luminous herring (you can thank my ancestors, followers of norse mythology, for that one), the aurora is an astronomical phenomenon precipitated by the complete ring of light surrounding the poles, “which at its brightest has a distinctively green tint” (may, brian, et al. the cosmic tourist. carlton books, 2016.). yes i just made a citation from one of brian’s books. don’t worry about it. anyway, particles emitted from our sun are caught by the magnetic fields of earth’s poles, and thus produce this ethereal effect. but you know what the aurora has always reminded me of? disco lights. and libby is noting if not the queen of disco. oh, and, libby’s makeup talents? the aurora could never.

@aprilaady — butterfly nebula

the butterfly nebula is incredibly beautiful. but also, depending on from which angle it is beheld, it looks quite different. dor will surprise you, in the loveliest way possible (and sometimes the funniest) with a kind word or a joke, or even just a relatable comment. she has so many talents, being rivetingly smart within so many fields, especially the sciences, and in this, conveys multitudes, like the butterfly nebula. one might say her soul is painted like the wings of butterflies...

@doing-albri — solar eclipse

the alignment of the sun, moon, and earth. difficult to see, especially in totality, if you continually live in the same place. but there’s something magical in that alignment, i think. something quite poetic. it’s partially in the name ‘eclipse’ and partially in the nickname— a “ring of fire.” i saw the solar eclipse in august of 2018, and looking up at it, i was quite awestruck. you’re not supposed to stare directly at solar eclipses, because despite the moon overshadowing the sun, you can still damage your eyes significantly by looking at them. vi is so bright, both in her attitude and in her intelligence, and thus i’ve chosen the solar eclipse for her. also, when a solar eclipse occurs, using a piece of cardboard with a hole (or generally any thick-radius circular object with an opening), you can recreate the phenomenon on another surface, resulting in beautiful patterns and light-art, which i think speaks to vi’s eye for aesthetics.

@imalososos — meteor shower

meteor showers are perhaps some of the most beautiful phenomena i have ever seen. back in the summer of 2016, i stayed up all night to watch the perseids rush across the sky, and i was not disappointed, by any means. within the early hours of the 12th of august, an estimated 80 meteors darted across the heavens each hour. meteors, in essence, are clusters of mineral, usually debris from comets, which enter the atmosphere of a planet, and thus seem to shoot across the sky. now, you may be wondering, what’s the bloody blooming difference between meteoroids, meteors, and meteorites, and why are we talking about meteors in particular? well, meteoroids are cosmic debris that have not yet entered an atmosphere; as soon as a piece of cosmic debris enters a planet’s atmosphere, it is classified as a meteor. as for meteorites, nothing is a meteorite unless it strikes the ground. anyway. you didn’t come here for my science ramblings. meteors are also called ‘shooting stars,’ and let’s be honest, they’re space’s idea of art. streaks of light across the sky? sounds like a painting to me, and darya, among many other things, is an artist— and a brilliant one, at that. so i think it very fitting to describe her as the art of the universe <3

@mazzell-ro — saturn

i! love! saturn!!! being the only planet in our solar system with highly visible rings, it just stands out to me. it’s absolutely gorgeous, and an object of much inspiration to me, when i was little and decided that space was absolutely something i wanted to see. i could write an eight-verse song about saturn, i love it so much, and honestly, i think ro could write one too; she’s an excellent musician. but aside from its lovely rings, saturn is unique because its composition, in the ratio of its gases, would allow the planet to float in water. ro is uniquely wonderful, and her writing!!!!!!!! makes me so soft and happy and makes me want to give her the word. quite how i feel when i look up at saturn.

@mistiermistshazierdays — zodiacal light

you may recognise this term as brian’s speciality from when he was studying astrophysics. but what is it? zodiacal light is that strange triangle of light that appears glowing in the sky after twilight and before dawn, and is the subject of much earth-based astrophotography. extraordinarily beautiful, scientists are still not entirely sure what the phenomenon is, but most research and practical experiments are in favour of zodiacal light being sunlight reflected off of cosmic dust (also known as stardust!). now, if my knowledge of ancient greece and its mythology serves me, the name phoebe comes from phoebus, and (thank you google) means ‘bright.’ zodical light… bright… phoebe… you might say it’s a match made in the heavens. quite literally if we’re talking space. phoebe, you kind soul, you are stardust.

@speciallyred — andromeda galaxy

and last, but certainly not least, dear anna. i name thee the andromeda galaxy, partially for your own name, and partially for its poetic beauty. andromeda, the neighbour galaxy of our deal ol’ milky way, is actually about 2.5 million lightyears (15 trillion miles, 22.5 trillion km) away from us, here on earth. call me vain for the number of times i’ve described the beauty of space throughout this rather extended exposition, but andromeda is startlingly beautiful. one reason for this objective beauty is that andromeda is estimated to be home to roughly double the number of stars within our own galaxy. anna is one of the most talented poets i have ever come across, hands down, and what be the food of poetry, if not the stars?

[artificialqueens]

The Parent Trap, Chapter 9 (Biadore) - Henny

A/N: Thank you for the comments, Hennies! Y’all are making me feel like Ariel in the beginning of Little Mermaid 2 :> I missed all of you too! Sorry if there was a problem with the formatting of the previous chapter; completely my fault!

OH, and if you’re confused with the timeline, I’ll simplify it for you:

RPDR Season 6 (filming) ended around Mid-July of 2013 (assuming it takes about a year or so before it is released). January 2014; Roy and Danny started dating. 6 months after that, June 2014, a month after Bianca wins, they get married. A year later, the couple gets baby fever, so they start looking for the perfect surrogate and egg donor. This is where I deflect a bit from the prologue, it takes them until May 2016 to conceive.

TLDR; the fic takes place July 2026, and RPDR is currently airing S19 with THE AS:BoTW filming the very same year . If I had said anything contrary to those stated above, disregard it. This is the new timeline I’m going to follow going forward.

All the love, Hennies!

XOXO, Henny

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

“Well, would you be interested in joining the first All-Stars: Battle of the Winners in place of Bianca?”

The way Adore gaped at her phone was almost comedic, mouth opening and closing like a fish. In some way, she’s almost flattered at the fact that Ru called personally instead of a producer. It’s almost very considerate, since the man knew what had gone between Danny and Roy.

“Well, last time I checked, you didn’t crown me, Mama…” Adore adds a teasing tone to her voice, and tries to ignore the nerves that seemed to resurface at the idea of returning back to the competition. It’s been many years since Season 6, and Adore has genuinely forgotten how it feels to be on a platform like that again. Focusing on her music as both Adore and Danny has shifted the focus of her career as a drag queen and performer; and with many seasons passed, she knew her charm has run dry with Drag Race fans.

Ru laughs, the iconic shrill making Adore spiral back into the werkroom. “I didn’t, didn’t I?” He laughs again, and Adore can only imagine him wiping a fake tear. “But, I am planning to release the footage of you and Bianca winning to prove that my decision to invite you has some bearing, at the least.”

Adore inwardly groans again, remembering the night of the finale wherein they filmed the ending of her and Bianca winning together. She feels the ghost of Bianca’s hands squeezing her own as they waved and the sparkly confetti rains and glitters of lights from cameras blinded their eyes; applause and cheers roaring in their ears.

“What will the other queens say? The winners, I mean. It’s not like they’ll consider me a winner, especially the newer queens.” Ever the anxious person that she is, she finds a brush to fiddle with to lessen her anxiety.

“My competition, my rules. Whatever I say goes, Baby. They can say whatever they want, but if they’re smart enough, they’ll pipe up. And, besides…” Ru trails off excitedly, like they were sharing a secret. “Since this is only a Netflix special, I’m only doing the first decade season winners. I’m sure they’ll be nicer to you than recent ones.“

“All of them said yes?”

“All, but one, you already know…”

“Yeah, yeah…”

“So, what do you say?”

“I- I don’t know, Ru. I’ll think about it…”

“Of course, let the producers know soon, alright? Filming starts October! Toodles!”

The call ends, and it takes everything in Adore’s willpower not to throw it to the wall. She looks at her phone’s lock screen and sees the beaming face of Portia, and she manages to calm down. She stands up, grabs a pre-rolled joint in her makeup kit, and heads out of the building after shouting to the manager to inform him about her whereabouts. She normally didn’t do this anymore; smoking, hard liquor, and even hooking up with trades that come her way. Portia had completely turned her life around, and so did Roy and Nerissa. “Fuck,” Tears fill her eyes again at the thought of her daughter who she no longer knew, she sniffles as she takes a long drag of her joint and breathing out harshly.

A tall figure looms over her, and with a tap on her shoulder, she nearly doubled over in fear. “What the fuckkk…” She groans, clutching her heart.

“Oh, sorry… Didn’t mean to scare you.” Adore looks up to meet the steel eyes of a blonde stud with a smug smile on his face.

“Shit, I know you…” Adore murmurs in thought, before she remembers “You’re Brooke, right?”

“Brooke Lynn Hytes, yeah.” He flashes her a beautiful, gorgeous smile, pearly whites and all. “…But right now, uhh,” He looks down to his jeans and plain gray shirt, “You can call me, Brock.”

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

“Okay, give me another one.” Portia looks at her cards, one five of hearts and the other six of spades. It was really late and they just finished washing the dishes of the entire camp after dinner. Not tired from their post-cry-emotional nap earlier, they had decided to play a game of Blackjack. Nerissa deals her another card, and picks one for herself. Portia peaks at the new card, and sees her nine of spades. She joins the cards together, and places them down in triumph.

“20, let’s see yours, Haylock.”

Nerissa drops her cards, a jack of diamonds, two of clubs, and nine of clubs. “Blackjack, bitchh…” She taunts, laughing at Portia’s dismayed face.

“That’s not fucking fair…” Portia drawls, “That’s your 9th time winning, I think you’re cheating…”

“Oh, please. You just play your cards wrong, and sometimes, I’m just really lucky…” Nerissa beams as she watches Portia fix the cards and put it back in their case, murmuring “I don’t want to play anymore.”

“It’s getting pretty late, too. I think we should go to bed.” Nerissa yawns as she grabs her blanket and tries to settle herself in. Portia agrees before standing up to lock their door; to make sure the windows are tightly shut; and to turn off the light. The moon shines at its brightest, a cool silver light shimmers through their window.

“I know it’s late, but I’m not even remotely sleepy.” Portia comments despite the yawn the escapes her.

“Same here,” Nerissa says with droopy eyes.

“Tell me, what’s Bianca like? No… noo…What’s dad like?” Portia asks, adjusting herself so she faces her sister. The mere idea of having a sister and having Roy Haylock AKA Bianca Del Rio, THE Bianca Del Rio is possibly 50% her dad makes her more giddy than anything in the world.

“Dad is probably the most workaholic person you’ll ever meet. He’ll make time for you, yes. But, you can tell that 75% of his mind is just…” Nerissa sighs, “exhausted, if not thinking about work… He really tries though, he hasn’t missed any of my ballet recitals yet nor any PTAs. He’s as active as a busy parent can be.”

“That’s good, I guess…” A hum of agreement, another yawn.

“And not to mention, the free dresses.” She giggles, “How ‘bout our other dad?” Nerissa turns to lie on her back, thinking about her dad who she hasn’t updated in awhile, even though she promised to do so everyday. A sudden urge to hug her dad courses through her body, and subtle pout forms at her lips at the thought of Roy. She missed her dad, she’s still upset about the whole not-telling-her-she-was-a-twin-thing, but she missed him nonetheless.

“He’s pretty chill. I can do anything I want,”

“Wow.”

“Yeah, my dad’s pretty cool. We have the kind of relationship where I can tell him things and… he can tell me things. He’s my best friend, so we just have fun most of the time.” Portia says with mere awe. “But, it wasn’t always like that. There was a time though where he was pretty down in the dumps; he didn’t really have the best mental health back then and his coping mechanism–”

“Hey, this seems kinda personal. You don’t have to tell me this, okay? Only if you’re comfortable doing so.” Nerissa says, her arm crossing its way to pat Portia’s tummy to stop her thought.

“No, no… You’re my sister, and I trust you enough.”

“Okay, if you’re sure… So you were saying?

“Yeah, so, he didn’t have the best coping mechanism. Alcohol is tricky when it gets out of hand. I didn’t mind at first, because I didn’t think it was that bad. I didn’t notice the signs because I was so young. It was only one incident, really, when I understood the gravity of it all. Around June, he nearly drank himself to death. I don’t know why he drank severely that night, but I just found him passed out on his own–” Portia chokes as tears start up with the memory of seeing her dad then. “I was only four then, Riz. I didn’t know what death was, but the minute I saw him– It just rationalized so quickly in my head. I called 911 as fast as I could. I didn’t know what I was saying half the time ‘cuz I was just crying.”

Nerissa places a comforting hand on Portia’s arm as the girl tries to fight the sniffles. When Portia manages to barely win against the tears, she continues, “When we were in the hospital, I was with my Grandma and there was another man, I– I don’t know who, from what I can remember– we didn’t know if my dad was gonna make it.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Porsche.”

“No, no… It’s fine. Just sucks to remember it. But, he managed to pull through, obviously. He hasn’t drank alcohol in years. So, I’m really proud of him, especially in his line of work, it must be so hard.”

“Yeah, as his 50%-chance daughter and for what it’s worth, I’m proud of him, too. “

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

When Courtney heard the rumors going around backstage that night, she had about ten shots of tequila before coming to the conclusion that she wouldn’t tell Roy. But, funny how alcohol works out.

“Yanxxxxx” Courtney drawls out on her phone that she’s struggling to hold up to her ear. But the effort was there. She has absolutely no idea where she is as she presses her warm cheek to the cold faux leather seat of a couch.

“Bitch, did you really just– What?” Roy rolls his eyes as he looks at his phone that hosts Courtney’s current call and the said-blonde on his couch, drooling and staring off into space.

“I gotta–” hiccup “tell you a ssssecret.” Courtney angles her phone to her mouth, so she’s directly speaking to the phone’s microphone. Roy walks over to the drunk girl, grabs her phone and throws it in her purse. He ends the call on his phone before slipping to the kitchen, grabbing a towel and soaking it with cold water. He gives it a good squeeze to remove the excess water before going back to Courtney and placing the towel on her forehead.

“You’re so lucky Riz isn’t here or I would’ve left your drunk ass in the club.” He mutters in annoyance, even though everyone knew he wouldn’t really do that. He could never let anything happen to any of his loved ones, and god knows Riz has seen Courtney or Shane pissed drunk since she was a toddler.

“No,” Courtney says abruptly, hand swatting away Roy’s hand. “Nooooo…” She continues to drawl. “The secret is Ado…” She leans in close, way too close. Roy gets a harsh flashback and hastily pushes Courtney away. With the push, Courtney plops on her back and passes out entirely. Roy sighs, both in frustration and exhaustion. He wouldn’t bother removing Courtney’s makeup, but he did give her the courtesy of removing her wig and cap, as well as unlacing her corset. It all feels familiar to him, taking care of someone and helping them de-drag, except of course, back then he had to strip Bianca off himself and help Danny remove his clothes which then would lead to…

Roy shakes his mind, trying to get rid of the idea before it escalated. He leaves the guest bedroom and makes his way to the kitchen for a glass of wine. He’s just going to pretend he doesn’t know that Courtney was about to say something about Adore as he starts up a design for Rupaul on the granite kitchen counter.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

“I can’t believe Biadore was ACTUALLY a thing.”

“How can you not? The tension was so obvious, especially during that one part where Adore said she didn’t want to work with Bianca? The sexual tension was just–” Nerissa fans herself before she receives a slight smack and push on her shoulder.

“Dude, you’re so fucking weird. I don’t wanna think about my dad’s sex life OR YOURS!!”

“I’m just telling the truth! The stare was intense.” Nerissa breaks into a fit of giggles at Portia’s face of slight disgust at the idea. “And speaking of, did your dad date anyone again?” Nerissa asks.

“Never anyone serious enough to introduce to me, no. He’d go on dates, sometimes Adore would go on dates. But, yeah. He never really seemed interested in dating anymore, so he put all his attention to me or his and Adore’s music.”

“Do you call Adore “mom”?”

“No, that’s weird!” Portia snorts, “My dad is, well, my dad. He has his own quirks and personality. And, Adore, to me, is just a whole different person. I can’t explain it. Like, I know he’s Adore Delano through and through. But, my mind just sees Adore like a whole different person.” Portia rolls again to her back, so she’s facing the ceiling like her sister. “How about your dad? Did he date anyone?”

“You know what’s weird? I don’t think he ever did, not even dating or flirting with anyone else. He’s always been so closed off to anyone who showed any particular interest.” Nerissa twiddles with her thumb, before scrunching her nose in distaste. “I mean, in some way, I get it. He’s scared to love again. Uncle Shane always said so. I wish I knew why though.”

Portia hums, thoughtfully. Another pregnant pause looms over their conversation. It has gone on for so long that for a moment Nerissa thought Portia was asleep, until…

“I AM SUCH A FUCKING GENIUS!”

PREVIOUS CHAPTERS:

Prologue | Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven | Chapter Eight |