#i talked to the doctor this morning and they dont want me to wait for this procedure

[sicksorrows]

more nanami hcs & scenarios !! nsfw & sfw

nanami kento who would shove his fingers down your throat while you're fucking, just so he could hear you struggle.

nanami kento who would cook dinner for you every night. if you ask to cook, he'd make you do the very minimal tasks.

nanami kento who dominates you in bed and acts like a submissive man when you finish having sex

nanami kento who would listen your favourite songs and save them to a secret playlist dedicated to you.

nanami kento ROLE PLAYS. (as much as I hate the thought of professor nanami) he would totally do any type of roleplay: teacher/student, boss/employee, pet/owner, doctor/patient, celebrity/fan and yeah you get it. also he would NOT break character at all.

nanami kento who would take pictures of you before you both head out somewhere

nanami kento who fucks you out of pure jealousy when he sees you talking with someone else, even if its just for a second

nanami kento who changes personalities when hes around you

nanami kento who seduces you to bed instead of going at it right away, he loves foreplay and would savour his time with you before getting to the good part

nanami kento who would stroke your hair and hum your favorite melody while you both lay in bed before you going to bed.

nanami kento is an experimentalist idc how much times im gonna say this he is an experimentalist he would literally try anything and would be willing to do anything to you he. is. an. experimentalist.

nanami kento who kisses your forehead every morning and waits for you to wake up so you could brush your teeth together

nanami kento who would pick up the phone even if hes fucking you, he would try to challenge you to stay quiet as he talks to the person on the other side, while also hitting every right spot.

nanami kento who would cuddle you after he's finished a long day of work.

nanami kento loves semi public sex. thats it. no explanation

nanami kento who remembers every single thing about you, if you were to ask him he would answer in a heartbeat

nanami kento who would use you as a stress reliever whenever hes angry.

nanami kento who would constantly talk about you to others and saying how proud he is to have someone like you

nanami kento who loves to dirty talk

nanami kento who would help you understand something without making you sound dumb. even if you both can't understand something he would try to learn it quickly before telling you

nanami kento who would wrap his biceps around your neck as he takes you from the back

nanami kento who's obessed with an unusual attribute of yours, something only he likes

nanami kento who cries during sex

nanami kento who fell in love with you at first sight

you could tell which ones I was excited to write about lol, and if u rmr the other hcs post I made, some of them may be mentioned so sorryyyy anyway some more detailed (ish) extras below !!

extras ++

nanami would definitely fuck you with music in the background, but he'd put it on low just so he could hear your sounds echo through the room. he only thought putting music would make the setting more fitting but he never really wanted to hear someone else when he has you in front of him.

more explanation on the crying during sex, he would have happy tears as he fucks you. its tears of gratefulness that you're there in his life and he's glad to be with someone like you.

he would definitely jerk off to your face when he's all alone and though he seems like an honest person he'd never actually tell you that he did that to your face just so you dont feel uncomfortable.

a really really odd thought I have is pervert Nanami.. now hear me out I know perverts are gross and all but nanami would honestly suit the roll really well. cat calling as you walk by him, staring you up and down in a subway. taking secret pictures of you and getting off at them later. basically being a total creep in general!

stalker nanami. once he finds his new obsession, hes hooked, and he knows you're the one. its dumb but he would first follow you to your house. thats all he needs and hes got it. he would follow your every move, try to break in and steal your things, and eventually "accidentally" create some coincidences so he could get closer to you. basically joe goldberg shit (besides the murdering part)

shower sex! shower sex!!!! he would hold onto you, very carefully, just so you dont slip as he takes you in so perfectly. he would go slow at first but when he can't control himself anymore he would quicken the pace and go FAST.

he loves hearing you say his name and would practically keep bugging you so he could hear you say his name multiple times. or while you guys are having sex he would keep begging you to call his name out, on every thrust btw.

he doesn't share.

though,,, I do see him as a voyeur. he would definitely get off at you masturbating to yourself or listen to the sounds of you doing something sexual, whatever it is.

I said he doesn't share but the thought of him getting jealous at the sight of you getting fucked by anyone else but him is what's so SJNFOSOSJ like imagine he comes home one night and hears sounds from your room and, of course curious, checks out what's going on and sees you getting fucked by another man!!!!!!! ughh the look on his face would probably be soooo hotttt

he's extremely kinky idc what you say he has the most weirdest kinks too and im not complaining.

recording during sex!!! fuck, thats actually so hot.

says I love you on every thrust

[animeshotsh]

You what? | Viktor x Jayce x Kid!Reader | Arcane ¤

Summary: Viktor knows Jayce sometimes does things without thinking, but this? This goes beyond his own limits.

Warnings: Mentions of trauma - Kid!Reader - Viktor and Jayce are a couple - OFF CANON EVENTS - Human traffic - GN Reader - PLATONIC - grammar mistakes -

When Viktor enters on monday morning into the lab with his coffee in hand he expects nothing but silence, after all he is here before Jayce most mornings.

But he stops in his tracks when he hears Jayce's voice, maybe sounding less...well less like him. He sounds like he is talking to a small animal. It reminds him on how he uses to talk to Rio when he was a kid.

Pushing memories aside Viktor retakes his way and goes deeper into the lab, where their experiments are.

And oh, if his illness did not kill him as most doctors had said then this would do it.

Jayce, using one of his experiments showing it to a kid who seems to be as suprised as any kid would be and perphas gives the most honest reactions to his inventions.

But wait, go back.

Jayce and a kid.

His cane hits the floor in suprise and he ends being watched by two pairs of eyes.

Jayce looks like he was discovered breaking some important rule, to which Viktor is centrain that bringing a kid into the lab counts as but he wont say it. And another pair that looks at him with curiosity.

There is silence, no one really knows what to say or how to act. But Jayce ends reacting, leaving the experiment and going to help Viktor with his cane who is feeling a headache coming.

"Hey Vik! long time no see, how's your house?"

Honestly? Viktor wants nothing more than to go back in time and insist that he is fine and does not need rest. Maybe like that he would have stayed with Jayce and prevent...this.

But time travel is something that is still on the making, so back to the main point.

Viktor just gives out the most tired look, then turns to a near chair, sits and taking his coffee simple says "Explain"

Becuase if there is something he has come to learn while dating and loving Jayce is that nothing should suprise him (and yet Jayce still manages to do it) and also, is better to ask upfront than to wait for him to talk up. Viktor can still remember that one time he found a big (illegal no less) plant at his home and Jayce ignored it for two hours till he asked.

"Well you see, its really funny actually..."

"Jayce...."

"Alright..., so I took a walk around campus and saw some...suspicious individuals and well lets say I was not very discrete"

Viktor can just imagine the scene

"And they saw me and ran but I chased after them"

Stupid move Viktor thinks

"And then they trow me this kid at me, i mean what could I have done? So i took them home, gave them a warm meal and a bath" Jayce ends sounding a bit too proud of himself.

"Jayce you...you stole a kid?" Viktor asks because he is confused "And did not report the incident?"

"Uh well i was going too but then (Y/N) started to wonder around so i kind of forgot..."

"(Y/N?" Viktor asks and sees you peeking out from behind the big desk.

"Yes! Thats their name, im not sure about much more, only that they like chocolate and blue stuff"

Viktor ends in silence for various minutes. You must be an orphan he concludes, an orphan from the undercity, who had no other choice but to follow a gang in order to survive. He tries to calculate your age but its hard, you have been not eating well, thats clear, and he can already see some bruises from the misstreatment of the undercity.

Being raised by parents or family its a luxury after all.

"Jayce you cant just take a kid in" Viktor says and his heart almost breaks as he sees you run towards Jayce hugging his legs.

Noted, you may not talk but you understand, its clear you are more intelligent than what you leave to be at first.

Street smart maybe?

"But Viktor! I cant just leave them" Jayce responds picking you up. "If they return to the undercity i dont think they will make it"

Jayce sees how you push your head against his chest and smiles softly at you.

"And we cant leaven them at an orphan home! I have read of these places, they suck"

Viktor must agree, its not like he comes from one but knows well that lots of kids ends being sold off...

"Alright and whats your plan?" Viktor asks "Do you even know what it means to raise a kid, or how? What about me? Were you going to consulte me?"

He can see the pain in Jayce eyes at his last sentence. "Of course I was! I was just thinking of a...well a good moment"

"Because bringing them to the lab was the perfect idea"

"I could not leave them at home! I mean i tried but- they would not let go of my leg, i think they have some type of trauma..."

Viktor takes another deep breath, Jayce kidness and heart knows no limits.

"Besides you did say you wanted to help the peopel from the undercity"

"This is different, we are talking about raising! adopting a kid!"

"So you are considering?" Jayce asks in the most hopeful tone ever.

Viktor just lets out another breath.

"Well, its not like they can go back and yes, orphan homes sucks" Viktor responds. "But we need to do this right. And i mean legally"

Jayce nods and all of him lights up like he has discover a new thing. He goes to Viktor carefully managing (Y/N) by his hands and leans down to peak Viktor's lips.

"Yes!! Totally! I will talk to Mel about it, im sure she can move some contacts for this" Jayce says and Viktor can see his brain making more and more plans.

"They also need clothes, and we should think of getting them into school" Viktor adds standing up with his cane and going closer. He can see (Y/N) eyes and cant denied how it makes his heart melts.

"Dad?" Its what you say looking at Viktor, then you look at Jayce "Mom?"

Jayce smiles and nods while Viktor is left without words. "Yes! We are your mom and dad now" he says pointing at him then at Viktor.

"Family?"

Jayce nods again

"...Chocolate?" You asks once more

"Alright thats all, if they eat too much sugar this place will be a disaster, you do remember we have dangerous things in here, right?"

Jayce nods at Viktor then whispers to you "We will get chocolate once we end work"

Viktor snorts then moves to his desk to finally start working and also to let his mind register everything. He hears the doors closing imagining Jayce went with you to talk to Mel.

But no, he feels a pull at his trousers and looks down at you who looks up at him extending your arms

"Dad! Up!"

Viktor does as told pulling you on his lap and passing you some papper and a pen. Both fall in a comfortable silence.

And Viktor thinks, this is something he can totally get used to.

[agi-ppangx]

💭let me help you

pairing: bang chan x gn!reader

word count: 806

tags: non!idol au, gn!reader, angst, fluff, pre established relationship

warnings: hospital, broken leg, a bit of crying

author's note: hiii, i hope yall are doing fine!! wrote this pretty quickly and its totally not proofread, so please dont mind any typos and mistakes </3 feedback and reblogs highly appreciated 🫶🏽

you tried calling your boyfriend several times now and finally, after what feels like forever, you heard his voice. "channie! hi, um… look, i'm really sorry, but we have to cancel our date tonight…" you said with a pounding heart. you felt guilty, knowing that today was one of rare times when chan could wrap up his work earlier and spend some time with you. "everything alright? you sound worried" chan asked, concerned about your well-being. you started to panic a bit, not wanting him to worry about your problem. "yeah, it's nothing, i swear it's just-" "y/n, what's going on?" he interrupted you, clearly lost in your rambling. you sighed and mumbled "i'm at the hospital right now. but it's fine! really, i'm fine, just won't be able to go to the movies later". chan didn't respond for a while, but you heard rustling and the door closing. "which hospital?" he then asked, his voice shaking. you knew it was useless to argue with him and you told him the address. "i'll be there in 20, wait for me, okay?" chan stated and you hummed, ending the call.

you and chan have been dating for a little over 2 months and throughout this time you weren't able to go on many dates, since chan's job was quite time consuming and your schedules collided every time you wanted to go out together. and today was one of the rare times when you could meet up. you two planned everything a week in advance, chose a movie you were going to watch and the restaurant you were supposed to eat dinner after it. but you had so much to do today before the date and in a rush your feet slipped on the stairs, causing you to fall down and break a leg. you were in a hospital for a while now, nervously waiting for your doctor to carry out essential tests and put a plaster on your leg. it felt like hours and you didn't know how long it would all take.

chan arrived pretty quickly, bursting into the emergency room and looking nervously around it. when his eyes finally met yours, he sprinted to your side and took a better look. "what happened?" he asked, his voice quiet and unstable. "i… fell down the stairs this morning" you murmured, ashamed that a grown up person could be that clumsy. "i'm really sorry channie, i wanted to run errands before our date and i just…" you sighed, pointing to your leg resignedly. you mumbled a quiet "i'm sorry" once again and looked down to hide the tears that gathered in your eyes. after a while, chan finally spoke. "y/n, you don't have to be sorry, you did nothing wrong. i was just really worried about you and for the whole drive here i was praying for you to be fine" he said, placing his hand on your cheek and wiping the tears from your face. "does it hurt?" he then asked softly, although he knew the answer. "it does, so bad, and i don't know how long i have to wait for the doctor" you whispered, sounding defeated, and more tears ran down your face. he kissed your forehead and then got up. you didn't know where he was going, but soon you saw him talking to the nurses and to your doctor. you didn't hear the conversation, but you saw that chan was impatient, his jaw clenching and unclenching as he was speaking. he returned to you after a while with a smile and a soft "they'll take care of you now". then everything happened really fast, the nurse taking you to examine you and within an hour you were ready to leave with a plaster on your leg.

chan offered to give you a ride, helping you to get to the car. "you'll spend a few days at my place, okay? i'll take care of you" he stated and you looked at him. "chan, you don't have to, i'll be fi-" you started but he interrupted you, "baby, you know your place is too cramped and complicated for you to get around with crutches. please, let me help you". you sat in silence for a while when you suddenly asked "baby?". it took you off guard, being in a fresh relationship you two didn't really use affectionate names yet, but you liked it a lot. you saw chan's face become red like a tomato and you giggled to yourself. "fine, let's go to your place, baby," you grinned. chan smiled to himself and then there was a pleasant silence between you. you wondered how you got so lucky to have chan in your life - someone who treated you with care and love and was there for you for good and for bad.

[saintobio]

HELLOOO FINALLY GOT TO SEND AN ASK!!!

first of allllll…. i think the time momjo sending the child guardian paper (?) that satoru typed out of anger is a hint…. and then satoru telling yn that sachiro called akemi mama… this honestly hurts alot more, imahine carrying your baby for 9 months, taking care of baby sachiro for 3 years alone, all the sleepless nights… and sachiro just ugh u dumbass small brain toddler (literally). anyways, satoru looking at akemi during suguru and shoko’s wedding, his hand rubbing akemi’s stomach at the cabin when she was in pain. honestly this part was akemi faking her pain or…? cuz there was a line that said after satoru asked if she wanted to go home her face didnt show anymore pain ? lololll idk. i dislike (hate) gojokemi but i think theyre gonna be endgame with all these theories coming up oh godddd. and the way yn threw the necklace into the lake, satoru went to search for it but did he manage to find it ? no. but during sn yn (well, suguru) found gojos wedding band. so in sy, yn threw away satoru’s “heart”, and it was never found again, thats a hint (?) bruhhh i hate thissss (i love this so much actually it made me feel so much i love u saint) i also recall the first time satoru and akemi first did it together he said smthg like i could learn to love u ? if i remember correctly. and the morning at the cabin after yn and gojo did it, yn was crying bcs they had a heartfelt talk ? and u mentioned they both felt guilty. the guilt is…. yeah.

BUT ALSO, satoru once said that yn has always been the one, sera when she saw gojo after forever told sukuna that he looks different when hes being with akemi, like hes not being himself? but that was when they first got together so idk about now. him not calling gojokemi exclusive. oh how they were happy and loving when yn got pregnant 🥹 but well it lasted until… yeah. also u said something about gojo gonna be on his knees again, since yn is now depressed and suicidal, i think for her heart disease shes gonna sign a DNR, then satoru on his knees maybe begging the doctors idk gawd idk someone mentioned dnr and i just… 🙂 its not that she wanna leave sachiro either, but i think shes telling herself everything will be better if she dies since sachiro, still very young, doesnt even really remember yn (just why sachiro) and called akemi mama… also why the hell didnt gojo use protection when fucking akemi oh gawd pls hate u satoru if she gets preggo.

anyways, i cant wait for gen to be back. i love u gen and ian.

oooh i also remember that you said there was a scene that inspired the birth of sn/sy, was it in chapter 11 ? or we’re not there yet…

honestly why dont yn just join shoko and suguru and be in a happy poly relationship ever looollll just kidding. my heart hurts, im still all in for gojoyn endgame but it doesnt seem realistic. ive been cursing gojo and akemi ever since the chapter came out loolll gotta give myself credit for being able to do my exams while still thinking bout this. 💀

omg there’s a lot to unfold here idk where to start 😭 but i just wanna say, it’s amazing how you’re so thorough in remembering those details in sn/sy bcos i honesty don’t have enough attention span to do that !!! sdjsj now while i can’t answer everything you mentioned, i can say a few things:

- akemi isn’t faking her pain, she’s truly struggling from it

- gojo doesn’t want kids outside of marriage (or should i say if not with yn), so he’s definitely careful with it.

- yes, it is indeed sy11 that birthed the sequel :’) i had that scene in mind before sn was even finished

[dogswest]

So I was born Intersex and I want to share with everyone how painful this shit can be, cause usually people are like 'ohhh thats so cool!' NO ITS NOT /lh. this shit is DOOKIE ASS

(also cw for talking about genitals, vaginal fluids / blood and sex EWWWW minors please avoid interracting!!!)

FIRST OF ALL let me tell you about how annoying it is that I was technically almost born the sex I wanted to be, but when the doctors saw that my junk looked all funky they said 'thats not right, lets pump them with the hormone their genitals look most similar to!" and then picked WRONG ONE

Second, and the whole reason I'm writing this post, is about how my menstral cycles are SO FRIGGIN PAINFUL because I don't produce proper mucus down there, so it gets dry and the blood dries up so it just HURTs. and THEN I get UTIs SUPER EASY from literally NOTHING. One time I used the bathroom out somewhere, but there wasn't any toilet paper and it was a single bathroom, so I hadda wait till I got home, but by the time I got home (maybe after like 2-3 hours) I GOT A FRIGGIN UTI.

I also just wanna clarify: my UTIs can span from 'just a stinging pain that go away if I just take pain killers, shower and wait it out' all the way to 'sitting in the bathroom till 5 in the morning crying because theres nothing I can do but wait till I go to the doctors tomorrow and hope I pass out from the pain' and so..

sex isn't any easier either!!! because of my hormones n vag are so wonky, I don't usually enjoy the devils tango (im demisexual), but even when I do, IT ALWAYS HURTS AFTER. and god forbid I dont pee after sex, I will get a HORRIBLE UTI that can last me for WEEKS and then I'll have to go to the doctors, get a medication to get rid of it, and suffer in bed

let me just say its not just me that gets problems with their junk. I've heard stories of peoples ovaries WRAP AROUND THEIR BALLS because they were intersex or even stories where the doctors would CUT OPEN the vagina so it works like a typical one

DGMW im not saying being intersex is a bad thing and there shouldn't be pride, in fact I really appreciate intersex pride and the community it has, plus not everyone has this experience, but I just think its funny that people think its cool, when all my life I always thought of it as REALLY inconvenient

anyways that mah rant fo todayy

[decora-kai]

Been a while since I've made an update on my diagnosis situation but I just had my last physio appointment today so I suppose now is as good a time as any!

I was meant to have this appointment like 2 months ago but I missed it due to pain but also the fact that my parents simply forgot 😭 instead of rebooking i was told to do MORE blood tests, Yippee! /s so I did around three more and finally was able to rebook my appointment and have been waiting for a while now. Until, of course, today.

I again wasn't feeling great, but I went to school in the morning and after break went for the appointment at the hospital. At first, my physio was just asking how I've been and talking about my blood test results (All fine, apart from slightly low vitamin D and Iron). She then said that if my blood was normal, it must either be that I'm weak and lazy (her actual fucking words), or that my diet is bad. Now yes, my diet is not the healthiest in the world but I try my best. Anyway, that pissed me tf off and I literally wanted to scream but luckily, she started to consider that maybe, maybe it was something else (OBVIOUSLY IT IS OMFG).

She did all the like pressure points, asking where it's painful and where it isn't and concluded that i seem to have quite a lot of bone pain rather than muscle pain which i actually didn't realise myself because i dont know the difference (not that I don't have muscle pain but the bone pain is more prevalent apparently) So now I'm finally being referred to an orthopaedist which should hopefully take 4-6 weeks + A chronic pain clinic!! I'm really hoping that I'll be able to get a diagnosis finally but also I'm trying to not get my hopes too high, just in case.

Something else that happened is a meeting with my school attendance lady 😭 but she was actually really nice luckily. Basically she was talking about how my attendance had slipped below 80% which is not good but also saying that they are going to talk to my doctors and see if I can get any accommodations! since I'm not diagnosed, it's quite hard to get accommodations within school but this would be like life changing, even though it would probably only change a few small things such as

Using a computer instead of writing (my hands get achy when writing some days)

Not having to do PE (physical activity worsens my symptoms)

being able to study in the library (do my classwork outside of class)

able to leave the classroom if/when I need a break

And possibly (I'm hoping for this but technically nothing was said)

Doing exams in a different room to most (I can get bad brain fog + overstimulation which causes more pain)

So, that's it for the update and I hope to bring more good news next time! >:3

[descriptionofaruby]

bc like its the first thing she says to me in the morning is like i have to do smth about my anxiety and i should like schedule an appt with a doctor abt it and like it feels like they (my family) are 'walking on eggshells' around me and its like oh. great

this is also without asking before getting into any of this whether i've thought about it or looked into it or done anything at all. which idk what im supposed to take from that other than: you think im too fucking lazy to do anything and i dont care and im just gonna let everyone else do everything for me and you have no faith in me. you think im still in elementary school trying to get out of going in because i dont feel like it today (and hey, gee, i wonder why, sometimes i really didnt want to go in? maybe it wasnt the most important thing in the world to go to school that was easy as fuck every day? especially on days where i was feeling terrible about the idea of going in? why did you try to make me go on field trips that took the bus so we knew i was going to throw up and you saw how much distress i was in. you saw me pacing back and forth and breathing fast because i was terrified of throwing up for a field trip i didnt even care about. why did you do that). im still the child after all this time hey i wonder if this has anything to do with why im so anxious to prove to myself that i'm doing things and not being lazy and im making progress towards my goals because no one fucking believes me not even me. shit i know i do an annoying problem solving thing and i can get inconsiderate but at least i dont assume i've done nothing

and then also its said WHILE SHES GETTING READY TO GO SOMEWHERE. so much for a fucking conversation what are you just planning to tell me about this thing you planned up saying and then leave? just drop it on me and leave? no time to properly get into it? im sorry thats just rude. but it was very efficient so i guess its fine.

and like i said to her the other day that i have trouble with feeling ashamed and its like clearly im going to have to explain to her what that means because its so hard to not feel like absolute garbage hearing what shes talking about like oh great ive messed up ANOTHER thing whupdeedo like come on i was in a pretty good mood and then i have to spend like an hour or more on this now trying to manage my feelings trying not to feel like crying trying to keep my wobbly knees from buckling and god if she thinks me being ANXIOUS is walking on eggshells around me i cant WAIT to see what she thinks of THIS. inb4 its something i have to "manage" too. i have to manage everything. im managing it right now by venting about it. yeah its part of life. it would be helpful if, you know, you made me feel like i wasnt alone having to do it. or like im not a terrible burden to you. or a hopeless slacker. that would help, maybe

[tsukitsukiiii]

what do you think the festive season is all about?

is it food? is it enjoyment? is it irrationalities in reasoning? is it homecoming? or is it the interaction? is it the new flowers of love? or maybe the extra smile that is brought about by each of our behaviours? is it otherwise the light of hope, thats later on diminished by the flowing tears?

i think its about forgiveness, it is about forgetting the past, the godess's win over evil spirit or is the win of humane tragedies over the past inadequcies. its not the colours in the dress or in the smalles of the bulbs hunging over the verendah from where the little sibling duo try to sneak and look over what sweets father have brought, but more, it is colouring of the black and white memories from the past, which are going to be repainted in the next few days, it is the forgiveness of all the sour feelings between the brothers for last month or two, its the mixing of the colours of the different sweets that chachi and mami brought from their hometown, it is the beautiful contradictory mix of colours of sarees when mom and masi hug, it is the colour of the morning tea that are to be made yet again, though already 3 courses of them had been run through by papa and the eldery, its the coulourful boxes of the new kurta that you and your cousins are gonna wear this evening.

it is not restriction at the homes though, the brotherly hug of the uncles of the other street at the evening function, the seating again in the common region for the uncle in pagri, just beside the uncle with taqiah, the seating of maybe the truck driver uncle, with the police wala, and sharing a cup of tea and (not a bundle of notes, lol), the jee aspirant talking with the doctor of the neighbourhood, who has returned from the city for the festival,

what is the parting away then? why those tears?

yk what? for an earthen diya to burn brightly, its to be kept in the layer of oil, the cotton to be well drenched as well, maybe its not the oil that matters much the event of the time, the excitement of the inner you, to get up next day and get those out, your tears are the oil, the time is the distance, now we dont need to say here time and distance are relative,

it is the excitement man, it is the honour to wait again, its the growing love for that one cousin that you feel when they leave, for them and for you to return again the spring over holi, or the early summer over a vacation for fortnight , its your wait again for the spiral jalebi that you wanted to have this time, but poor you, it was meant for the guest and not for you!

nonetheless,the festival season is for the broad smile, its not for " apke toothpaste me namak hai? " ki nahi and more for " kuch meetha ho jae? " ironically again , i , for the writer is here, writing this, once the dusherra is over, and waits again for 360 days or so, but the smile indeed came through, wishing the same to you,

happy dusherra!

[amirajones]

The Princess and the runaway Princess pt. 13

I couldn't say how long I slept but it was the best sleep I ever had. Knowing I was in the one place no one would really catch me. Killian held me close which only added to my comfort as I slept. So waking to his devilishly handsome face only brought a smile.

"morning luv." Killian said

"morning." Amira said

Being with him was always good but I was being selfish with him. I knew where he was, where the ship was and the men were kept away for now. So when he kept on the ship I didn't really argue as I looked at my phone seeing two voicemails and nine missed calls from Regina. I put my phone to my ear listening to the voicemails.

"I don't know who you think you are now not showing up but trust me princess you better come in." Regina said on the first one which I deleted

"Ami where are you? Went by your apartment and the pier but I didn't see the ship. Call me as soon as you can sis." Snow said on the 2nd voicemail.

I didn't worry about Regina anymore and put the phone away. Killian came through the door placing a bag by me and I looked at him curiously.

"I talked to one of the men. They went and got you this under my orders so you dont starve. After all you have to eat considering things have changed." Killian said

I smiled knowing that was how things were as I looked in the bag. "You must of talked to Smee, he knows Ruby knows all my favorites." Amira said

"yes well Mr. Smee mentioned you took charge in my absence" Killian said

I merely shrugged as I ate. Truth I couldn't tell you how long I stayed there. I know sometimes I snuck off the ship to check out apartments and well to charge my phone.

After two months going on three and needing new clothes to plan my sister agreed to take me shopping for clothes that would fit. The outside world of Storybrooke suddenly didn't seem an issue to me. Once I had it I returned to the ship as I heard muffling cries and after changing I checked it out seeing Dr. Hopper.

"Archie?" Amira said knowing she just heard Snow say something about him being dead.

I carefully climbed down remembering my extra weight as I removed his gag. He seemed surprised to see me at first and well showing now but it took him time. I had a cup of water I reached for and offered it to him which he took a drink from it.

"Selena what are you doing here?" Archie asked

"I'm a pirate and my boyfriend is the Captain." Amira said "why are you here?"

"Cora, she kidnapped me so your boyfriend could interrogate me." Archie said

"Right the dark one. He's kept me out of the loop of it all." Amira said

I didn't get much time to talk to Archie as I was magically pulled out of there and Archie was gagged again. I looked just as Killian pulled me to him seeing Cora.

"Captain you need to keep this one on a leash." Cora said

"I'm nobody's pet Cora." Amira said

"why were you down there?" Killian asked

"I was offering him some water after all he can't tell you anything if he's dehydrated and starving!" Amira said and I walked away to his Cabin where he insisted I stayed.

Cora watched me walk away seeing the mood swings were setting in. She must of noticed I was at the three month mark maybe a little longer but I didn't care at all what she thought.

"are you making her see a doctor?" Cora asked Killian

"according to Selena the only doctor is Whales and she refuses to go see him. Says he creeps her out." Killian said

I assume in Killian's eyes he was getting everything he wanted. Working on his revenge, watching over me as our child was growing waiting for the day he or she would be here. The only down side was having Cora around.

Another few weeks passed each day Killian bringing in food one of the men bought from the diner. When Killian left me alone with Dr. Hopper I'd share some of it with him so he wasn't starved.

"your boyfriend seems determined." Archie said

"well I wouldn't expect anything less of him. Honestly I can see past the act he puts up. He's hurting inside." Amira said

I put my hand on my stomach sometimes and imagine the gender of the baby. Boy or girl I'd love it either way but I wanted a girl someday. That was my secret though.

"you must be very happy to be this far." Archie said

"I wish it was that easy. My father wouldn't approve of any of it." Amira said as she ate and sighed "he'd disown me for being pregnant let alone in love."

"I see that's why you're here. Your not here against your will but because you love your Captain." Archie said

"he taught me everything I know about being a pirate." Amira said

Archie and I had casual conversations. As much as I wanted to free him my vow of loyalty kept me from untying him. When Killian came in I left the area not leaving a single clue to what was going on. My only request was he leave Archie alive. I knew my time staying on the ship was limited in fact my sister ended up finding me a new apartment that I could get near hers with room to consider for a baby and if Killian didn't want to stay on the ship. I smiled knowing luckily my cursed self saved quite a bit of money aside for a new apartment. So I left the ship going to meet my sister and getting things set up for getting the apartment. I walked with Snow checking it out first to see if I'd like it.

"it's big enough for three people. I know you've been living with him." Snow said

"I can't exactly say no. I'd have everything I would need right here sort of." Amira said

"have you been to whale to check and see if the baby is healthy? Do you know how far along you are?" Snow asked

I didn't answer her more because I wasn't in the mood to argue. Whales was creepy in his own way nothing could change my mind on that. Snow could probably read the answers.

"you need to go see him at least once. I can find you a midwife to help out." Snow said

"No. I refuse to go to him." Amira said

After finalizing the apartment, Snow practically forced me to go see Whales. Even with refusing I could tell I was probably farther along then I thought. Still when we got to the hospital she insisted I be seen for a check up. They took us back to a room and I was more willing to let the nurses do their job than whales. Seeing my discomfort he instructed one of the nurses what to do as they took a look.

"well Selena, seems you have about a little less than four or three months." Dr. Whales said as he was looking "do you want to know the gender?"

Deep down I did want to know but I shook my head. Killian and I discussed it and he didn't want to know till the day the child arrived. If I found out then I would want to tell him. Snow talked with Whales though as she planned to have a baby shower she called it for me so I'd have things ready. Now that we knew time was limited it was best to make arrangements. After leaving there I didn't say a word to her much except taking the pictures with me to look at.

"it's amazing, isn't it? New life being created by you." Snow said

"yeah it is something." Amira said

Killian didn't have a phone so I went by the Jolly Roger. He was waiting outside it and saw me as he went to me hugging me close. I kissed him as a simple greeting.

"luv what's gotten into you?" Killian asked

"my sister helped me get an apartment. A different one it's closer to her." Amira said but as I watched him I seen it seemed he didn't like the idea of Snow being so close.

"you have me." Killian said

"I know but I'm progressed in my pregnancy. I can't stay on the ship, we need this to stay together. I have just one thing to ask don't get yourself killed." Amira said

Luckily I got Killian to agree to moving in to the apartment. He kept me sheltered from the chaos he was causing in town. Still when we walked in the apartment he looked around clearly not used to such things but I walked him through everything that came with an apartment. He noticed my laptop on the bed which he went over picking it up.

"what is this?" Killian asked

I walked over taking it from him "it's a laptop. It connects to something called the internet." Amira said

I knew he was up to something when he smiled at me. He missed me as he made me look at him.

"stay here." Killian said

He left, if I knew he was up to no good I would of tried to stop him. He knew what he had was important but stopping him from going after The dark one was impossible. I sat there waiting and looked over names but I knew Archie needed freed so I left the apartment going against his words taking my chances with Cora as I went on the ship and went below deck. I opened the place using my sword to free Archie and let him climb up.

"Thank you Selena." Archie said and I smiled at him

"time for you to go home Archie." Amira said

"you set me free. Won't you get in trouble?" Archie asked

"well I need advice. I was going to look over names but there's one name for a boy I was considering. My Captain had a brother." Amira said

"you are considering naming your baby after the brother? It's very sentimental." Archie said

I heard footsteps on the deck knowing there was no way Killian was there. I hesitated going up thinking it could of been Cora but when they came below deck I saw Belle.

"Belle" Amira said

"Hello Amira." Belle said and seen Archie "Archie you're alive?"

"he's been here the whole time. Why what's going on in town?" Amira asked

"well there was a funeral service. No one knew where to find you or we'd of told you." Belle said

I had to think that was why he was tied up with Cora showing up. I recalled that day well as the day Killian held me close till Cora left.

"I'm setting Archie free but I needed his assistance." Amira said

Archie soon left leaving me and Belle below deck. I previously told her about my alliance with the pirates and I didn't regret it one bit. It wasn't long though more movement could be heard and soon we both saw Killian.

"luv, you're supposed to be at the apartment." Killian said

"I had to ask Archie something. He's good with advise and it wasn't like he could tell you anything." Amira said

Belle was looking for something clearly something that was brought here earlier. I saw the Shaw on Killian's hook.

"looking for something?" Killian asked her

"that doesn't belong to you." Belle said

"oh,it does now." Killian said

I seen Belle run for a close Gun I didn't realize Belle had. Killian grabbed it first with a laugh as he pointed it at her but I moved infront of her.

"luv move." Killian said

"she's my friend. No." Amira said "she's the only one I had at the time. The shawl why do you have it?"

"if you must know it belonged to the dark one. He was going to use it to leave town." Killian said

"you could of destroyed it. Why didn't you?" Amira asked

He didn't have an answer for me so I came up with my own.

I shook my head "Milah." Amira said and I took Belle with me leaving the under part of the ship. Killian ran up after us and I didn't look at him.

"luv please." Killian said

"I won't fight with a ghost." Amira said as I let Belle go going off the ship. Belle went to get the shawl leaving with it while he was distracted. I didn't go to my apartment, I went to my sister practically crying as she comforted me. I thought we were past this, but anything when it came to Milah could get under my skin the wrong way when Killian tells me he loves me.

[bridgyrose]

Oscar's Aunt noticed strange changes in him. He withdrew from her, began talking to himself when she wasn't looking, seemed to have a different aura around him. One day, much to her horror, he was just gone.

Aunt Em watched Oscar closely as he pitched hay, noticing a small change in how he moved. Instead of his usual struggling as the day went on, he almost seemed to have a renewed energy as if he had been doing this for decades instead of the few years he had been living on the farm ever since his parents died. Even his eyes seemed to hold a different look in them than they had the day before. “Oscar! Dont forget to brush the horses.” 

“Dont worry, I wont forget!” Oscar called out as he stabbed his pitchfork into the ground. 

Aunt Em smiled for a moment as she watched him, her smile fading as she watched him wipe his brow and walk into the barn. Over the last few days, it felt like he had been pulling away, changing in ways that she didnt understand. *Must be how teenagers are,* she thought to herself as she made her way back into the house. “He’ll be fine. Its all a phase and it’ll be over soon enough.” 

The next few days caused Aunt Em to worry more as she watched Oscar withdraw from her. No longer did he seem to smile with the same youthful innocence as he had before, his smile seeming forced as he continued his day. Even the way he held himself seemed to change, almost as if he was a different person. She slowly knocked on his bedroom door, her voice shaking slightly as she listened to Oscar shuffle around in his room. “Oscar? Is everything okay?” 

“I’m fine Aunty Em!” Oscar called back from behind the door. “I’m.. uh… I’m redecorating!” 

“May I come in?” 

“Sure.” 

Aunt Em stepped back a moment as the door swung open with Oscar standing in the doorway, hair more disheveled than usual. Then, she noticed the bookshelf behind him seemed a bit more out of place than normal. Books strewn about the room, a few open to pages of the different huntsmen academies across Remnant. Aunt Em relaxed a bit for a moment. “Wanting to train to be a huntsman?” 

“Yes. No.” Oscar moved to close the books and sighed as he put them back onto the bookshelf. “I want to see the world, but I dont think being a huntsman would be the way I want to do that.” 

Aunt Em nodded and picked up a book, closing it and putting it back onto the bookshelf where it belonged. “There are other ways to see the world too. I’m sure that we can scrape up the money to send you out to a scholar-” 

“I’m fine being here. Really. You need all the help you can get on the farm and I cant leave you to do all of this on your own.” 

“Then will you tell me what’s going on? You havent seemed like yourself over the last couple weeks and I’m worried you’re hiding something.” 

“I’m not hiding anything.” Oscar winced a bit and held his forehead, collecting himself for a moment as his eyes almost seemed to glow. “May I get some privacy?” 

Aunt Em nodded and left the bedroom, shutting the door and pausing for a moment as she heard Oscar’s voice. She pressed up against the door, listening to him mumble to himself. 

“I’m sure I saw a picture of that desk in a book before, so that doesnt mean that doesnt mean anything. Leave me alone and get out of my head!” 

Aunt Em knocked on the door, leaning in a bit. “Oscar? Are you sure you’re okay?” 

“I’m fine!” Oscar answered back. “I’m going to bed, I’ll start my chores in the morning.” 

Aunt Em looked at her watch, frowning a bit when she noticed it was only two in the afternoon. Though, she left her nephew alone, making her way downstairs to grab her scroll and thumbed through her contacts until she found the number she saved for her doctor. She made a quick call, tapping her foot as she waited for an answer.

—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I’ve set up an appointment for you with Doctor Hyde to see if we can deal with those headaches,” Aunt Em called out through the door. “We’ll need to leave first thing in the morning to make it to him.” 

Silence greeted her back as she waited for an answer, her foot tapping as she started to grow impatient. She opened up the door to peek in, her voice growing more firm. “Oscar-” 

Aunt Em paused as looked into the bedroom, her heart stopping as she looked at the empty bed and a note sitting on the nightstand. She slowly made her way over to read the note, her hands shaking as she lifted it. 

*I’m going to Mistral and I dont know when I’ll be back. All I can tell you is that it’s important that I do and I’ll write to you once I’m there. -Oscar* 

Aunt Em dropped the note and rushed out of the house, nearly tripping down the stairs. She threw open the farmhouse door, panting as she frantically looked around for any sign of Oscar. She ran around the farm, looking for any sign of where her nephew was and hoping to catch him. Minutes turned to hours as she made her way into the nearby village, asking around if anyone had seen Oscar. As the sun started to set and the stars filled the sky, she finally dropped onto a bench and sobbed, hoping Oscar would be okay.

[pbandjesse]

I slept really well last night. It was the best I've slept in days. The combination of meds the camp nurse suggested worked really well and I only remember waking up once to use the bathroom. I didn't even have any bad dreams. Me and James had swapped sides of the bed and I dont know if that helped but maybe it did.

When I woke up I didn't feel sick anymore. Like I was sore everywhere but I wasn't nauseous in the way I had been. And I was thrilled. I was like I'm good! Things are good. I was tired. And I didn't want to go to camp, but I thought I was okay!

James accidently spilled their coffee in their backpack so they had to stay behind a few minutes to clean that up. So I left before them.

I had a donut while I was driving and I'm very glad I did because I would not eat until the late afternoon. I was sipping water and enjoying my donut and trying to have a nice morning.

James had reached out to our doctor about my nausea and I would follow up with a referral. But that office wouldn't open until 9. So I just tried to hang out.

I went and gave Heather a hug. I said hello to the nurse. I hung up the replacement hammock. And while I was doing so I found a Luna moth! Which apparently symbolizes new beginnings.

I would call the referral number at 9 and when I explained what has been going on, they said I needed to go to urgent care. They set up an appointment for me at their office but it wouldn't be for a few weeks. So they said in an abundance of caution, I needed to go get fluids and get checked out. That being so nauseous and dizzy and blurry visioned for a week is not normal at all. So I had to go let the office know.

They told me they would make sure everyone was in the know that art was self service today. But I also would reach out to the village directors so that everyone knew what was up. And left a note on the door about materials. I was shaking a little. And would run into CJ and let her know I was leaving to go to urgent care. And that u would let her know what was up later on.

This was only partially true though. I would go to urgent care. But almost immediately they told me I needed to go to the emergency room. That I needed more care. I was glad I stopped there, they were nice, but it also made me more sure I needed to go to union memorial.

I was already stressed because when I had looked for my wallet it was not in my bag and so I did not have my insurance card. I was super confused about that. So before I went to the ER I would stop at home and get my headphones and my battery packs (my phone was at 18%) and tried to find my wallet but was getting more and more worked up. So I gave up and would just figure that out later.

I drove to the ER and would park on the parking garage. Which if you were only there for u see 6 hours cost $5 but jumps to $20 after that! Wild. I hoped to not be there longer then 6 hours.

And I wasn't. I would arrive around 1030. And was one of two people in the waiting room. And both of us were brought back right away. Amazing.

I was nervous. But they were very kind. I got moved to a room pretty fast. And they were very nice and made me laugh. I kept saying it was weird being here when you didn't actually feel to bad. And it was. I was able to look around more and not feel so focused on how horrible I felt. Like I still felt bad and I was scared but it was a different thing.

I would get poked and prodded. They gave me a bag of saline for the dehydration. And would rest my blood and other vitals. I would have a lot of people come through and ask me questions.

I was feeling better already with the saline. But it would take a while to get through the whole bag.

I was getting very very hungry. And I really was hoping I would be freed soon. And just around 3 I was finally allowed to go. The doctor talked to me about what I need to do to not feel so bad and gave me the blood work and stuff to give to my doctor. I have an appointment set up and I just need to try and eat bland foods and drink more water. Even if it makes my stomach turn a little.

I was really happy to go home. I had a little trouble finding the car in the parking garage but I found it and went home. It was shockingly hot outside. The security guard at the hospital wished me a blessed day and to stay cool and I promised I would. And when I got home I focused right on that.

I would eat the lunch James packed for me and laid on the couch. And fell right asleep petting Sweetp.

I woke up when James got home. And I was still super tired but I was really happy to see them. They would clean up and we chatted about my day and how they can support me in feeling better. And gave me kisses and also had brought me hichew candy which was very nice of them.

We went to tambers diner to have dinner with Anne and Tucker. And it was a really nice meal. Anne got a haircut that looked really nice. Tucker was quiet. I hope he is okay and just tired. They told us about this vacation they are leaving for tomorrow. And we got sandwiches and fries and it was nice.

I would start feeling a little nauseous again and just tried to breathe through it and it would work pretty well.

We would drive Anne and Tucker back to their house. They gave us some produce that they didn't want to go bad while they were gone. Hugs all around and we went home.

When we got back here I would take a shower and then a bath and then a rinse off shower. I washed my hair really good and scrubbed scrubbed scrubbed everything. It made me feel more like a person.

I have been hanging in bed since then. James ran to the store and got me orange juice and frozen strawberries. Just trying to stay hydrated even though everything tastes weird. I am very sleepy. But I am happy that we have a plan of attack for not feeling well. And James and Sweetp are laying in bed with me. And I am happy.

I hope you are all doing well. I am worried about being out at the market tomorrow but if I need to bail I know Ann won't be upset with me. I hope it is a good day. For you all too! Sleep well everyone. Until tomorrow.

[swallowthebanjo]

read if you want to, gentleness and support is welcome and needed

warnings: suicide talk, systemic transphobia

distressing thoughts and feelings down below that i need to get out but i don't want to talk to anyone about because it really sucks & i dont want to burden anyone and i feel like being upset about this is dumb because i was fortunate to even come this far, even though i know my suffering is no less than anyone else's

it is so defeating to love someone so much that you have to keep living for them. this whole top surgery debacle has made me feel so hopeless and alienated, for the first time in years i truly believe that it would just be easier to die but i cant because i have so much love that i have to keep going. i have to keep going. i have to get out of bed every morning feeling hollow and like my walls are crumbling. i still have to shower. i still have to go to work, run errands, and exist in this wretched fucking body because i can't leave. i feel so miserable and im so tired of fighting. im so tired of being dehumanized. but i have to, because i love and i would rather be miserable and hate everything about myself than give up the love i have, because i cherish and treasure it more than anything

i dunno. i feel like im in limbo. i keep thinking that maybe im supposed to die, but i know that it's not fate, no big scary prophecy or whatever. it's just the government and insurance companies doing whatever they can to dehumanize me

cant wait to do the pre-check up clipboard stuff and alarm my doctor with how badly my mental health has tanked

[zomviesworld]

Hello again!, this is my other OC name Alec this is his story for Now at the moment it might change later on but enjoy

TW on a lot

Real name:Alec Keller

Name:Mr. kitty

Age:19

Height:6’6

Gender:male

Metal issues:PTSD, anxiety ,depression, personality disorder (DID only 1)

Did only two people:Mr kitty is the protector he stays out the most, Alec is the host, alec got DID personality disorder after the accident with his past

Relatives:(mother:Michelle Keller,Deceased), (father: Lucas Keller, Deceased), (sister:lily Keller, unknown)

Weapons:Gun, Hand-to-Hand Combat Skills, chainsaw

Ability:Physical strength,Speed,Telepthy,teleportation,Hand-to-Hand Combat Skills

Hobbies:reading,writing,bird watch and then eats it,Smoking

Crimes:Murder,assault,trespassing,stalking,kidnapping,blackmail,Cannibalism,harassing

Goal: what to do with this life (On-going)

Personality:bold not afraid to speak his mind,mean to people he dislikes,caring tho,people see him as kinda “bad energy”,he is a gentleman

Appearance:black and grey hair,Purple orange yellow eye colors,sharp teeth, his mouth is stitched up but he can still talk he has stitches on his body a few on his arms, a few on his stomach,he crys boiling bitumen but it doesn’t hurt him,and when he opens his mouth boiling bitumen comes out but he can manipulate how hot it can be or it can be cold however he wants,his tounge is very long

His backstory:

When Alec was little at the age 5 he started school he was a quiet boy, one morning before school he was so happy to start school meeting new people to make friends with his parents would always say things to him calling him names he kept shamed in away and guilty “did I do something?” He spoke

“I told you to abort that piece of shit I dont know why you wanted to keep it” said his father, “I already Fucking told you the stupid doctor said no because the fucking rat was already about to be a month you dumb fuck” said his mother knowing Alec was infront of them, but Alec was to young to understand it a neighbor of his dropped him off at school he was so excited to be at school he walked in the kids looked at him weird, Alec asked himself “do I have something on me?”, he quickly went to the bathroom a bruise on his cheek “oh right how can I forget” he said to himself when it happened yesterday his father was hitting his mother and Alec tried to stop it but instead he got slapped not only by his father but by his mother he never understood why

after some time passed he found out his mom was pregnant he was happy to have a baby sister, Alec had cuts and bruises all over his body but happiness still remain on him, he would witness his mother and father take alcohol and drugs “mama! I don’t think you should do that while you have my baby sister my teacher told me it’s bad!!” Alec said worried but his mother looked at him then laughed at his face smacking him to the point it busted open his lip “tell your teacher I said go fuck yourself bitch” said his mother

Alec got up and ran to his room locking his room crying in pain throwing thins around next day he went to school teachers asked him if he’s okay “Alec are you okay Hun? You always come with new bruises what happened to your lip?” His teacher says, Alec manage to look at her and smile “I’m okay!! I was playing outside then fell but I’m okay I promise”, His teacher didn’t take his word a couple days later they heard a knock at their door, the mother went to open the door “Hi is this the Keller’s family?” A lady said ….”yeah who the fuck are you?” His mother said saying it with an attitude, “hello ma’am Im from the child abuse apartment we came to see how Alec Keller is” the lady said looking at the mom, “can I come in?” The lady said looking at her, the mother said “oh my! Of course!” The mother said the way she said it changing her attitude

they talked for a few minutes then the lady left, “wait until your father comes from work” Alec mother said, Alec was apologizing “I’m so sorry mama! Please” “I didn’t know please mama”, his father came him which Alec went to hide he was so terrified, “where are you son of a bitch” said father said Alec heard him close by, His father found him which Alec was apologizing but he got hit with a wire he begged and begged for him to stop but his father didn’t. When time past his baby sister was born. (time skip). At the age 12 Alec was known was the creep, weirdo,freak even a worse he had a few female Features he never really cared his hair is always messy, other boys from an older grade would pick fights with him which he would try to defend himself but always lose he felt weak, after fights he would go home then his father would beat him calling him a “bitch” “wanna be a girl so bad? Huh” his father mention to Alec

Alec got older he felt different urges he never felt everytime his father says things to him the Urge to strangle him,during 7th grade people would bully him call him names, during gym he would change clothes someone pulled his hair putting his head on the toilet trying to drown him, Alec passed out for a couple minutes he woke up in some random abandoned place he checked the time it was 11Pm “shit” Alec said

Noticing the time he got up and ran home which he apologized but when he got home his mother slapping his father but his father pushed her she fell on the floor unconscious his father started to kick her on her stomach calling her “slut fucking bitch”, Alec was terrified he went upstairs seeing his sister

his sister was around 4 or so, “hi lily” Alec said to his little sister “hiiii” lily said looking at him “daddy and mama fighting?” Lily said so innocently which Alec said “no it’s okay let’s play”, Alec cared so much for lily his only sister Lily offered him cookies which he ate a few then a few gummies he played with her for a few minutes before passing out he woke up his body was numb like he was having sleep paralysis he looked At his sister “lily??” Alec said a bit worried and scared, “I’m sorry big brother but I wanna play!!” Lily said innocently,

“I dreamed of being a famous doctor!” Lily said while getting a knives, “really? That’s nice please let me go” said alec thinking it’s some shitty joke, “why would I do that? Your my big brother” lily said smiling grabbing a needle and a string lily started to grab the knive cutting big wounds to Alec stomach, his wrist, side of his neck, slit his mouth open Alec scream In pain calling her a bitch and crazy calling for his parents which his parents came to see, “great show lily” his mother said while she was bleeding from her face and body, Alec scream for dear life then said father said “lily isn’t your sister your baby sister died and we just replayed her”.. it all make sense now for his sister, “you make to much noise big brother” lily said to Alec lily started to stitch him up but Alec was slowly dying from blood lost “is this how it end? God please let me Live one more time I beg” said Alec, “OH SHUT UP!” His mother said poring boiling bitumen on his mouth lily was stitching his mouth he blacked out woke up in the same Place but his parents body were all over the room guts everywhere

Lily looked at him smiling but scared at the same time “see!! I fixed you” lily said Alec looked at her, “Kitty see! Lily said, Alec grabbed her with his whole hand on her face his claws cutting threw her skin from her face demonic scream at her to the point she passed out Alec dropped her on the floor, he looked at the body and his parents stepping on their body and dead body he went downstairs sniffing something so delicious leading the basement seeing dead corpse all over he saw a paper “food” it said, he took a moment realizing through the years his mother was feeding his human flesh “no wonder it was so delicious” Alec said looking at the corpse that one of them was stick fresh and alive he got down crawling upside down on the celling not letting his prey Know he’s there, The person got up and started to look for a way out Untill Alec open his mouth to big looking so disturbing bit the head off Alec started to laugh, soon after he heard the police he made a run of it

he was under a bridge frightened Of himself he herd something “who there?” Alec said looking around then he saw a Small kitty the kitty’s fur was black , Alec sat down so unbothered, he tried to Shoo the small kitty But Kept coming back, “I’ll name you Deadly” He kept the cat and slowly got up made sure he didn’t hurt the kitty, he began to walk sometimes he wonders if lily is still out there and just question what happened, he needs to feed himself and deadly don’t he? and he met up with his first victim at some gas station,He Put deadly down and began to walk, the victim was humping gas smoking a cigarette, alec went behind the Victim and immediately attacked putting his arms on the Victim and broke their neck he dragged the person the back of the gas station and began to eat the person. He fed Deadly human flesh..”Just you and I untill The end”.

[akash1618]

11 feb. tuesday

father had left for a marriage at 3:30 in the morning. idc. i ironed my orange shirt, had green but wanted to wear orange dont know why.

got 333, and then 312 in the morning . the bus driver of 333 stopped the bus for me so that i could hop on. tysm.

312 left at 8:27. great actually. i like the 8:30 bus.

pleasant journey. no traffic until i reached the four way crossroad near our office. no one here follows the traffic signal at all. the traffic. i reached in by 9:20. i was listening to my favourite ganesh aartis today. weirdly, even after registering the click on the earbud, the song wouldn't stop. might create a ganesh aarti playlist of my favourites on spot later in the day.

everyone was late.

work was fine. again got scolded for the copy. ok. on to making the testing sheet for the underwriting application.

i haven't been feeling like it for the day. very much torn with the feeling of not being wanted. as if no matter what i do i'll just not make it. so i don't even know what to do next and should i even do it.

i talk trash, so i don't even feel like speaking. went up for lunch, a bit late. i had aloo paratha in my tiffin today. no vegetable, so mother had asked me to buy some from the canteen. it was kadhai paneer today. was good.

i didn't even try to talk during lunch. gladly, the intern from yesterday had left until the time i sat down to have my food.

boss left after finishing his lunch. everyone else was done as well, but they were waiting for me to finish. sunny suddenly said that she's near the water dispenser. i instinctively looked behind and she was really there. idk when she came up. she proly wasn't there when i sat, must have been later. saw her leaving right after. she looks so pretty when she wears her kurtis <3 the beige one today! oh god, how much of a big crush do i have on her?! kinda worrying, i am not a teenager, so am i allowed to have such deep emotions in me?

post-lunch, came down for work. oh, she was walking again.

i wasn't feeling well; not the sick kind. just overwhelmed with my emotions. idk it's just like having a heavy heart. to articulate better - i'd say it was a mix of fear, helplessness, sadness, and loneliness. it felt the same as whenever i see the unsettling ocean. an unsettling ocean inside of me.

was wondering what's stopping me from talking to her? is it the fear of rejection, or was it the awkwardness? or is it that i will fumble with my words and forget what i am supposed to say? or she'll be cold to me? answer? idk. maybe it's all but also how idk how to talk to people. never in my life have i introduced myself to anyone. i felt very drained. sm that i want to take a leave tomorrow.

stuck in the loop of waiting and overthinking. i want to be out asap. but idk how :(

i have always been shy to ask for help, but for this i have been going around asking for help. but well, no avail. no one has suggested me anything convincing. i really think everyone must be laughing at me. all they say is go around and just talk to her, say what's on your mind. i've got tons of things in my mind folks. but to express it in saying? idk how.

i was trying the eye drop, doctor had suggested to me. i am supposed to use it three times per day. the packing is so weird, it's a small green bottle, weird green. medicines are always in white or transparent containers. my eyes felt very tired after using the drop. if i laid down and let go of my thoughts, i might have slept.

i was overwhelmed by my emotions, i had been consistently putting my head down on the desk and taking long breaths to calm myself.

evening, snacks time. didn't eat anything today. i have been still caught up with my feelings.

post-snacks. same conflict with feelings. how stupid am i?

went to washroom to wash my face. met boss there. he asked if i was feeling sleepy. wanted to reply that i need to cool my eyes frequently, but replied with a "haha, no."

oh, she has been walking again. i can see her a bit clearly now. the glass isn't reflecting light.

i wished i could keep on seeing her, but i also had a lot of work to be done, so well i tried to focus.

and while i was working, i suddenly saw her in front of me. umm, she used the back door, came from near the printer, and went from in front of me to somewhere. coffee machine? idk. she never uses the back door. very unexpected.

she looks so pretty in yellow and similars. yellow always reminds me of her these days.

but hey, why did she come from that door? for me? definitely no, right? why would she do that for me, right? i was just overthinking. i forgot my ocean of emotions, and now i had a new string of thoughts - is she interested in me? but it's the same thought - why would someone ever like me? i've really got nothing in me. she never looks at me. always sits with her back at me. i look ugly when i smile. she must've noticed how stupid, ugly, clumsy, and timid i am. she really has no reason to like me. so many things i cannot do. i am the epitome of "good for nothing." just the most unlikable person anyone would ever meet.

i must be overthinking, she might've needed to go somewhere and just used that path. maybe she followed her teammates who used that door. explains.

sometime later, i again saw her, through the glass. umm, idk what happens to me when i see her. this time when i saw her, i simply felt calm. the spectrum of emotions i was feeling, went number. thankfully. i sometimes get restless when i see her, sometimes i fumble, sometimes i hide after seeing her, sometimes i feel a calm in me, and sometimes an ocean. sometimes i get scared after looking at her, and sometimes i just can't get my eyes away from her. such a conflict in me. all ik is that i do like her a lot, and what else? it's difficult to put into words how i feel. never felt all this, so much before.

idk next, i left a bit earlier today, at 8:10. got 181 within 10 minutes. got 333 next at around 9:20. home by 9:40 or 50.

i had slept in 181 while logging, with tumblr on. i don't remember when i slept and when did i reach chakala.

completed the rewatch of apna sapna money money and maine pyar kyun kiya. had left them incomplete. both weren't worth.

---

go around and just talk to her, say what's on your mind.

-

Excuse me, miss! I... I...

[winwintea]

okay more more life lore because i actually love talking and i already talked to my girlfriend and my brother’s boyfriend about everything in my life they are literally part of the family now and i have no one to talk to anymore i only have you london so please bare with me😞😞😞

Also it is so frustrating me because my keyboard keeps changing to my mandrin keyboard every second like i don’t press that world globe thing that changes languages it just changes itself to mandrin I’M NOT TALKING TO MY MOM FOR GOD’S SAKE STOP CHANGING TO MANDRIN💀💀💀

anyways quick lore because it is like 3am and i didn’t sleep🤓🤓

i was born raised and studied 4 years of elementary school in shanghai then we moved to london i studied there till freshman year in highschool then we had to move back to china after the divorce i studied there then graduated and now i’m in new york but i will unfortunately move back to china after a year😞😞😞😞

And my brother’s unemployed ass dropped out of uni so he can live this year at the fullest (his words not mine) and i wish i can but unfortunately i’m the future doctor in the family and i need to study or i will be the bad influence in the family😿😿 sigh i dont wanna be Asian anymore😞😞

NOW GOOD NIGHT I NEED TO SLEEP LOVE YOU MWAH MWAH🎀🎀🎀🎀

I WILL BECOME AN EXTENDED MEMBER OF THE NERDSUNGIE FAMILY

the korean cousin 🤭🤭

anyways quick lore because it is like 3am and i didn’t sleep🤓🤓// fun fact i was actually up all night and did not sleep either (it be like that sometimes... but usually really rare, i go to bed around 10:30ish on a daily basis) and so i watched your two asks get sent in at like 4-5am in the morning for me and was like... "girl wdym go to sleep now..." ALSO ARENT YOU SAME TIMEZONE AS ME RN???

wait wait wait do you speak shanghaiese 👉👈 my chinese teacher also would yap away in shanghaiese so i know how to speak a few words but i can fully understand the dialect if you were speaking to me in it. (speaking is hard guys i just cracked down on my mandarin pronunciation)

but when i visited shanghai this year it was so fun watching these people find out that i'm actually korean and i can speak a bit of shanghaiese too. convinced i was lowkey born in the wrong family, pls adopt me nerdsungie's mother and step-mom 🙏

also.. how does your dad's side and your mom's side interact like im gen curious... with the amount of queers this family has it seems so sweet like... im also a child of divorce but brooooooooooooooooo my parents hate each others guts ( i mean they're also straight. but..)

HELP ME YOUR BROTHER "DROPPED OUT" ok trust fund kid /j IM JOKING IDK IF YALL ARE TRUST FUND KIDS BUT IF YOU GUYS ARE BASICALLY ZHONG CHENLE THEN YOU'RE BASICALLY A TRUST FUND KID JUST SAYING....

med student gang 😜😜 lowkey i wanted to be a doctor on my own, my parents hate going to doctors they like refuse to see a doctor in any emergency istg my mother is going to be in a fucking coma and she'll awake to tell me that she will not see a doctor and then go back into her damn coma.

[dawnowar]

I don't know what happened

I was doing really good cross posting everything to tumblr manually and then I just lost it after the rosstheboss night at milwaukee for some reason im not sure of.

Since then i had a week of rest and and then i went back out to see Ross in The Dictators and had an awesome day where I got to spend some time with him and got to eat dinner with him and the man known as Athenar from Midnight who it turns out is a big fan of Ross' which makes so much perfect sense to me because you can hear it in the guitar solos which I'm told he writes.

I fangirled over the two of them discussing gear even tho i dont know shit about whateverthehell they were talking about because it was just so cool i was in this conversation at all.

Saw The Dictators play with friends and had an awesome time.

My Metal neighbor and friend Chuck died suddenly for no real reason that weekend. Wasnt sick or anything. Just had a seizure even though he had no history of such things and his heart stopped and after paramedics worked on him and took him to the ER, he was brain dead so his family decided to let him go.

Been checking on his wife and doing what i can to help. Mostly by idk talking a load of bullshit i guess because i never know what to say but i think it at least provides some distraction which is probably helpful at least here and there. She is the kind of person you can't keep down and I know she will survive this but I'm not sure there's anything much harder than that to survive.

All this happened in the same weekend. I've known Ross personally for 19 years now so i guess that makes us old friends. And we talked about everything and things and people and getting older and I told him to go to the doctor.

I called my other two oldest friends and did the same with them too.

Then I went back to work on Monday where no one even said good morning to me forget about how was your awesome weekend with The Dictators you've had planned for forever? Because they dont know who The Dictators are and they don't care. And they didnt have a good weekend because they are miserable people so they dont care if i had a good one or not.

In the morning i didnt know how to answer someones question and everyone was on the phone so I told the guy I'd call him back. When I asked I was told that was dumb because this was simple and didnt warrant a call back. I assured him i gave the simple answer but i didnt know more specfiics the customer was asking so this did warrant a call back.

Went to lunch and the dizzy saleslady talked to someone i was waiting on a call back from, and she didnt read my notes to find out what they wanted and didnt give me the message when I came in that they'd called. I figured it out later and called her over and showed her where to look for my notes when someone calls for me so if its something easy she can just give them the answer.

Two hours later a guy calls asks for me and im on the phone. She tells him ill call him back. at 5pm. Shes gathering her belongings to go home and now i have to stay afterhours to call the guy back. I'm like did you look at my notes? It literally says i was calling because I sent him a link he needs to click to set up his autopay. You couldnt tell him to do that? I need to stay afterhours because you couldn't read my notes and tell him to click a link?

Suddenly the boss thinks its totally fine to call people back for stupid simple answers when this morning it was terrible customer service and he takes her side over mine because he's an asshole in general and picks fights with me on the regular because either he hates me and wants me to quit but doesnt want to fire me since he has no real grounds because my work is just fine and he just hates me because hes a joyless fuck who takes his stress out on me for some reason.

Or he just thinks this is a normal way to treat employees and expects thats fine that he treats me like this.

My fault probably because I've been putting up with this bullshit. I've been there a year and a half and hes been an asshole the whole time but its a good job for me in every other way or at least i believed that and I didn't put him in his place, because hes the boss. You dont win an argument when you arent the boss. So I just didn't argue.

Basically he randomly picks fights with me and I get mad and he says im "being irrational" because he doesnt understand that im being MAD and not even a little bit irrational at all and thats a super sexist dick thing to say and the only reason i havent CORRECTED HIM is because i was trying not to get fired.

Because if i said what i thought i would certainly get fired. But he doesnt listen to me anyway so theres no reason to say anything really. He has never listened to me ever about anything. I tell him theres pink mold in the bathroom he says there isn't. I'm like you can see it. and i cleaned the bathroom my damn self even though I am certainly not the janitorial staff. I tell him there are ants he says no there are no ants. I buy ant traps and get rid of the ants.

Anyway I spent my weekend in some existential thought with my oldest friends and people most important to me, and this motherfucker picks a fight with me over a thing there is no possible way I am wrong about.

and that was it. Life is too short to have a boss whos an asshole. I left and didnt go back. got my stuff the next day. bye fuck you asshole. youve ruined enough of my days. So ive been unemployed and looking for work since. I got a job offer yesterday so it took a week and a half.

No clue if my new job will be any good or not but i went in for the interview and it's beautiful in there and there was calm soft music and the guy who interviewed me was basically selling me on the job instead of the other way around. Told me they have almost no turnover but they are opening another location so they need new people. Asked why i left my previous job. I told him it was a personality conflict and i was just so unhappy there. He said he used to have a job selling financial products to insurance agents and they're all crazy. He may as well have put his arm around me and said, "it's ok baby, i got you". It felt like that. Sent me a job offer a few hours later. Pay is less, hours way different, commute is longer, but there's benefits. I had no benefits at that shitty job with that asshole for a boss who did nothing but make every day suck for me. I have so many stories of what a dick he is. He interviewed someone for my job a month or so ago. Because he never took the ad down. I was there a year and a half! He stopped buying the coffee i like too. If he wasnt trying to get rid of me he's just really shit at treating people like he wants to keep them. The longer im gone the easier it is to see that wasnt as good a job as it seemed from the outside. It wasnt even close.

It was hard. and complicated. It took me about a year to become competent. I was just starting to get good at it. He really should have seen that as valuable and that he should treat me well since he had such an investment of time and money sunk into me.

But he didn't. He never complimented me on anything ever. He never said so much as Good job about anything at any point. He was just an asshole if i did something wrong or sometimes even if i didn't. He'd go off on me randomly and I'd just say OK because i'm not going to argue. Because if I get involved in this I'm going to end up with no job because I'm going to tell him what I think.

So basically this is what ended up going down except i didnt even bother to tell him what i think of him because he doesnt listen to me anyway and i didn't feel like i needed to tell him what i think of him or anything at all. He's a joyless asshole under pressure to have a successful business and he's not doing it. Probably because he's an asshole and its a very people-person job.

He wanted me to handle everything. Even though I didnt know how and i'm not the business owner. He was mad about me directing customers to him. When they ask for him because hes the business owner. Good luck being successful dude. I'm out.

This guy who just hired me literally told me that if people are angry that wouldn't be my responsibility to handle. I'd get the manager for them. I'm like ??????????? really????????? because its been my job to get yelled at for my last two jobs now for about the last four years of my life. In fact, at some point during the pandemic it was literally my job for a month to let people yell at me for not receiving their furniture and once they calmed down giving them gift certificates. I did that for a whole month when I was really sick too. Probably the worst month of my life.

and i had some moment where i realized all this work trauma ive been through for the last four years and I just breathed and relaxed. and decided even if this guy didnt hire me and even if he was just talking a load of BS, becuase this asshole boss told me what a great manager he was in the interview too, it just felt so good to have someone on the outside tell me how a person should be treated as an employee.

Because thats not how i was being treated.

for years now.

and thats why i quit.

He gave me validation.

and a job i hope i like and can stay at for a long time.

Went to the funeral today.

Dude died, i quit my job, got a new job before the funeral. That was a big relief. I never thought i was making a mistake having quit but probably i should have looked for a new job first and then put my notice in properly but #1 fuck this guy i was done and #2 i didn't do that so here we are.

I spent the inbetween time kind of panicking that i'll never be able to get another new job ever because of the way I quit. But then also i worked for myself for 8 yrs before the pandemic and I loved it so its fine if i cant work for anyone ever again. I'm my favorite boss. it'll be ok. I just didnt want to go to all the trouble to set my business back up and look for clients again.

Having said that i probably have spent so much more time and energy looking for a job working for someone else. It's been awful. Job hunting is so demoralizing. and its even worse than that now I think because i got so many scammers trying to scam me while I'm just trying to look for some employer to not care that i left my last job suddenly because i cant get along with my boss.

but i got a job and i slept so much better last night than i have in the week and a half since i quit my job.

The details arent finalized so it may not be a done deal but just having a job offer at all is a weight off my mind. and i went to enjoy the funeral today. Thats not the right word. you dont 'enjoy' a funeral but i was able to be fully present at the funeral and have conversations with all these bereaved people who were mostly just in shock. All of them. I mean no one was expecting this and it really just seemed like no one had gotten past is this even really happening. I was in this room full of people who were in some surreal land inside themselves. I did what i could to talk to everyone but I'm not even sure what I was talking about and they didn't seem to care either. It felt like everyone was just glad everyone else was there.

Funerals all suck.

Theyre always weird and wrong and unsatisying but i think thats the place, at least for me in my limited experience, where you start to really come to terms with the fact that this person is gone. I think thats what theyre for.

Whats even weirder is that I had a tiki theme party to go to after. Which made the whole day even more surreal as i changed from funeral black to Hawaii and from sad to happy.

But the happy party after really made me feel normal in a way I havent now since he died in the first place. Just chatting with friends about things. Not existential things. Just normal things. Like things are normal.

Found myself referring to "my job" and meaning the old one. I dont know what my new job is like yet. I dont even know what days off I will or wont have coming up. Which i just realized may be an issue since people at the party were asking if i'm going to show up for things. i'm like yeah i have the day off work. and i remembered later i asked for the day off work with a boss i dont have anymore and a job i dont have anymore so i need to make sure the new boss is cool with giving me these days off up front or i'll have to find a differnt job i guess.

but i am very glad i have a job offer and I'm very glad i have happy friends and upcoming plans.

I need to cross post all my tumblr posts for the last four weeks i think give or take now. I didnt mean to stop doing it.