#i take it back cas saving dean from hell is a destiel thing in the way that it is cas collaring dean for heaven's use and realizing that

[quietwingsinthesky]

I guess I can't really get behind cas saving dean from hell as a destiel win, or lines like 'you don't think you deserve to be saved', because. this is not a point at which cas is doing because he believes dean is good and loves him or anything but. he saves dean because that's heaven's will. when he reminds dean that cas, and heaven, are who saved him in early s4, it's not him really saying 'you're a good man', it's a debt that he is using, pretty explicitly, to get dean to do what heaven wants. even the handprint reads like... ownership, in a way.

cas is complicit in heaven's manipulation of dean after he's pulled out of hell. that's what makes his rebellion later powerful, because this is an angel who believes in heaven so strongly that he will look into the eyes of the righteous man he saved and tell him that if he doesn't do what he's told, he will throw dean back into hell.

[profoundbondfanfic]

Any destiel amnesia au fic recs to soothe my gentle heart, I read one au called two worlds apart and as much fun it was I'm also heartbroken 😭 and I want to fix it with another amnesia au where they are both are very much alive in the end, also maybe with a dash of fluff and tension?

Here are a few recs with fluff and a happy ending!

Basic Lessons in First Aid, Magical or Otherwise by stuffy_j (Explicit, 54k words)

Most people probably wouldn’t take the naked, heavily wounded man they found in an alley home with them. Most people probably wouldn’t also offer that man a place to stay and become his best friend after realizing he’s suffering from an intense case of post-traumatic retrograde amnesia. Most people probably wouldn’t then risk almost everything they know to save said man, and maybe save the world in the process. But then again, Dean Winchester, RN (with a specialty in supernatural care), has never been like most people. He may not have a magical bone in his body, unlike his brother Sam, but he’ll do whatever it takes to help. Even if Castiel has questionable opinions about Star Trek.

Here We May Be Free by FriendofCarlotta (Explicit, 39k words)

When Dean was eleven, he saw something in the ocean: a boy with blue eyes and iridescent scales. Almost twenty years later, a spontaneous detour after a hunt brings Dean and Sam back to the town where that encounter took place. And Dean can’t shake the feeling that Castiel, the owner of the local Mermaid Museum, looks familiar…

Memories Bring Back Memories (Bring Back You) by sobsicles (Explicit, 66k words)

When he wakes, he has no idea who he is. Not his name, what he looks like, or why he’s flat on his back, staring up at the stars littering the night sky. The first thing he learns about himself is that he has shitty instincts, especially if his first one is to protect the blue-eyed man currently stabbing someone in the face. Or, the story where two strangers can’t agree on much and know even less, but they’re both fairly certain that they’re in love.

Paper Moon by robotsnchicks (Explicit, 43k words)

By the time he hits thirty-three, Dean's given up on the apple pie life, accepting that a serious relationship isn't in the cards for him. But when he meets Cas everything falls into place. Now he’s happily married, hopelessly in love, and they’re about to buy their first home together. It almost feels too good to be true. It turns out it is. His world comes crashing down when he wakes to find that he’s been a subject in a virtual reality simulation gone wrong. All the years he thought he spent with Cas were actually experienced in less than a week. And when he gets out, Cas is nowhere to be found and nobody has heard of him. Ignoring the possibility that Cas may not be real, Dean sets out to find him and convince him that it’s worth giving Dean — and their relationship — a shot in the real world.

The Same Mistake, Again by zaphodsgirl (Mature, 43k words)

One night, after watching Dean pick up yet another girl while they're out at a bar, Cas heads to the local diner. Over the years his feelings of attraction have only deepened into something more, and he wishes desperately to go back to the time before he was in love with his best friend. His wish is granted in an unexpected way: he wakes up in the hospital the next morning with broken limbs - an arm and a leg- and a fractured memory with the last four years missing.

The Stars Will Remember by casblackfeathers (Explicit, 60k words)

Being a hunter was all Dean knew ever since his mother had been killed by a demon when he was four. Hunting, offing monsters, and then jumping to the next case was his life. Then he met the most alluring and breathtaking omega he had ever seen and spent the next five years loving the hell out of Cas, their life together filled with the domestic lovey-dovey stuff Dean had never thought he would dig so much. When a simple salt-and-burn goes sideways, it ends up with Cas’ memories stolen from him. Dean is left to pick up the pieces of the life they built together, his ‘make it up as he goes’ strategy to prove to his mate that Dean’s still worth a damn, his only chance at getting Cas back. He’s done a shitty-ass job at keeping Cas safe before, but he will pull out all the stops now to woo his mate again and stir the memories Dean knows are still there buried deep inside Cas’ mind.

The Story of You and Me by the_diggler (Explicit, 54k words)

Dean wakes up in bed next to a very human Castiel, and a journal in his own handwriting that tells him it’s two years in the future. The house looks a lot like Bobby’s, and Sam lives there too… He just can’t remember how they got from angels falling in the sky – to comfortable domesticity. While there is much in the journal Dean doesn’t remember, there is much of their story he’s always known. And as he settles into the routine of his new life and relationship with Castiel, it quickly becomes something he doesn’t know how to live without.

Unveil the Splendours of Your Heart by thefandomsinhalor (Mature, 68k words)

When a reporter asks Dean, a homeless man with a mysterious past, why he exclusively keeps close to the billboards and posters of a specific male model—the one Dean likes to refer to as the angel with spectacular blue eyes—in a moment of weakness, thinking it won’t change anything about his situation, Dean tells him the truth: it’s how he finds comfort and solace. Something that is difficult to come by. That is until the story reaches the ears of Castiel Novak, the model in question.

Whiskey & November by dothraki_shieldmaiden, FriendofCarlotta (Explicit, 188k words)

There is a place in L.A. where the richest of the rich can make their dreams come true. For an outrageous sum, they can hire an “angel” who is programmed to be exactly what they need: a stripper, a scientist, a temporary boyfriend. Most people don’t choose to question who the angels are, or where they came from. Sam Winchester is not most people. His brother Dean went missing in L.A. two years ago, and Sam has spent all that time trying to track him down. The trail leads him to a shadowy organization known as “Heaven” that coerces people into giving up their identities and personalities so they can be reprogrammed for Heaven’s purposes. Inside Heaven, trouble is brewing: two of the angels, Whiskey and November, are beginning to break through their programming. As they fall for each other and fight to remember who they are, they discover that they have an ally already working to bring down Heaven from within.

Not really amnesia, but they think they have it:

Found Family by Dizzybunny (Explicit, 55k words)

When Alpha Captain Castiel Novak returns to the US after being rescued from three years of captivity, he is amazed to find a family he doesn’t remember living in his house. Not just any family - his omega husband and pups. Dean had been told Castiel was MIA, and probably dead. Living in Castiel’s old house, raising his own and Castiel’s pups as a single father had been difficult, but he managed. Now Castiel is back. Can he fit into the life Dean has made? Can Dean adjust to having an alpha? Does Castiel want a husband he can’t remember?

White Lies & Winter Blues by PaperAnn (Explicit, 37k words)

When Castiel drives by a car wreck, he should’ve heeded the warning, ‘the road to hell is paved with good intentions.’ He’s a nurse, it’s a record-breaking, cruel winter, and upon seeing the driver hypothermic and near-death—his instincts kick in. Cas doesn't think, he jumps into action to save the omega. Once the ambulance arrives, Castiel joins the ride. Then in the hospital room, he keeps a watchful eye over the omega's treatment and care. All under the guise of being ‘his alpha.’ Castiel’s plan was innocent, wishing for a quick recovery, followed by quicker exit. Except, he misses his shot. The omega awakes and the nurse beats Cas to the punch, with the declaration, “You’re lucky your mate found you in time!” causing all hell to break loose. There are no questions. A starry-eyed and love-struck Dean Winchester automatically believes the accident caused amnesia, that Cas is his mate. This wasn’t supposed to happen! Now entangled in his own lies—still reeling from the unexpected discovery they’re true mates—Cas feels helpless. He doesn’t know what the fuck to do! Besides...playing along. Paving his road to hell, one good intention at a time.

[kerryweaverlesbian]

I want destiel with 13 or 22 (the prompts you reblogged)

Take it easy, with me please, touch me gently, like a summer evening breeze

"You know what this mix is called, Cas?" Dean murmers, pressing his forehead to the side of Castiel's and changing their sway to match the new rhythm.

They've been dancing alone in the kitchen, slow and close, for something like half an hour, and these are the first words either of them have spoken since Dean pulled Cas in. On one side their hands are tangled loosely together, and on the other their arms cross over at their waists, keeping them both pressed together, chest to chest.

"No," Cas says, playing along. They both knew the tape had already been in the stereo when Dean had reached out and pressed play. It wasn't one Cas recognised; all slow, a lot of crooning women.

"It's called, 'For Cas, if we win'. I made it while you were gone." Dean's breath warms the tip of Cas’s ear, and his meaning warms him everywhere else.

"Was there an 'if we lose'?"

Dean shifts his head back to look Cas in the eye. "No. I was never going to happen."

Andante, andante, just let the feeling grow.

Enchanted by the devotion in Dean's eyes, he's caught of guard by his sudden, amused smile. He understands when Dean sings along, sotto voce, "Touch my soul, you know how. Forgot that was coming."

"You've touched mine, now," Cas reminds him, "Or, the closest thing I have to one."

That's how he'd gotten out of the Empty, Dean cradling his Grace to his chest and then fighting his way back through miles of black, sucking sludge, beset by angels, demons and the Empty's own power as he went. The place had been a lot more active since the last time Cas had been stuck there, but no less bleak. There had only been a chance for Dean to finally choke out an, "I love you too, you fucking idiot," when they'd collapsed back out through the portal before he'd fallen asleep for 15 hours straight.

"Your hands were very gentle," Cas notes, and he can feel Dean's face heat as he moves them cheek to cheek, an endearing and unsuccessful attempt to hide his blush. "I felt very secure."

"I didn't want to drop you," Dean admits at a mumble, then complains, "You were freaking slippery, man."

"My apologies," Cas teases, and Dean knocks him with his hip in playful retaliation. "If it helps, you fought me all the way from Hell to your gravesite."

"Sounds like me," Dean says, with a prideful grin that Cas can hear in his voice.

I'm your music. I'm your song.

"Yes. Had I known then how you would change me, I might have held you even tigher."

"Or you might have let go, save yourself the trouble," Dean quips, but there's a fragility to it that has Cas stop the dance and take Dean's cheek in his palm, guiding him to look at him.

Play me time and time again, and make me strong.

"I wouldn't trade the life that we have built for anything. All the time that I have loved you has been-" Cas can't help the tears starting to catch at his voice - "Has been the best of my existence."

Dean's welling up along with him. Perhaps they will both cry every time he tells Dean he loves him. A very small price to pay, in comparison.

"Cas," Dean says in a rasp, and knocks their foreheads together gently. Two teardrops fall from Dean's eyes to Cas’s cheeks with the movement.

Andante, andante, tread lightly on my ground.

No matter who moved in for the kiss, they both lean into it, careful and soft and everything they haven't managed to be with each other until this point. The passion shared between them is palpable, even as the kiss remains relatively chaste. There's no finish line to run to, anymore. No Apocalypse to beat. They have the time to dance together, just as slowly as they please.

Andante, andante, oh please don't let me down.

[angelinthefire]

There is a “would Dean kill Cas to save Sam” poll going round I think you’d find interesting and which compelled me to unleash thoughts at you. I often wonder why fandom (both hellers and bronlies) ignores the fascinating examples in canon where Dean’s “Sam before anything else” ideology is threatened by Castiel. the BEST example of this is when Cas premeditatedly and with full agency breaks Sam’s wall as collateral damage — and Dean forgives him in the blink of an eye! If that were anyone else who’d done that to Sam they would be a dead man. Yes Dean was mad about it, yet the next season (BEFORE Cas redeems himself by taking on Sam’s hell trauma) Dean literally tells Cas “you were doing the best you could” (girl…).

Other key examples: Dean staying in Purgatory for an additional year to find Cas (rather than prioritising going back to find Sam, and this is after Cas broke Sam’s brain mind you); deciding to basically kill himself in s13 after Cas has died (despite Sam being alive and well); telling Chuck he’s wiling to kill Sam if it’ll bring Cas back. If the Bronly tenet that all Dean needs to be happy is Sam then hell, why does Dean beg Sam to let him die in the series finale.

I will note that Dean kicking Cas out of the bunker in s9 is thrown around constantly but there was literally a gun to Sam’s head at that point. Dean was tormented about it and still snuck off to see Cas although it may have been unwise in that situation.

Also interesting to note that Sam isn’t the only one; Castiel has also served as a threat to Dean’s other representations of family. in s6 Cas ~betrays Dean by colluding with Crowley, who kidnaps Lisa and Ben, which eventually leads to Dean deciding to memory wipe Lisa. In s14 Dean literally *blames Cas in part for Mary’s death*! And yet still forgives him?? (As s13 showed, Dean can live better without Mary than he can without Cas.) This is really intriguing/toxic element of Destiel that is hardly explored in fandom, which is that Dean associates Cas with danger to the rest of his family/his role as protector of his family and therefore his relationship with him is a weakness that he will regret. Add to the fact that Cas has proven time and again to not be a safe/reliable object of affection (see above examples, and also repeatedly leaving/dying) and it’s very plain why Dean would have reason to fear/suppress/compartmentalise romantic feelings between them — because they would be an even greater source of pain.

Curious to get your thoughts on this!!

Thank you for the message!

Regarding the first point: I think there's a fairly typical thing going on of fan simplifying characters and their motivations. Does Dean love and care about Sam? Yes. Was Dean's duty to Sam something that was drilled into him as something that he had no choice over? And something that was reinforced through their forced isolation from the rest of society? Also yes. So what happens when Dean has someone that he has grown to love on his own terms? And who he never has to worry about alienating, someone who could actually be part of his life? Something very interesting!

I looooove the s6/7 example so much, because Dean really isn't ever angry at Cas for hurting Sam, he's angry at Cas for not listening to him. And even then, not really - his anger at Cas in 7x01 is much more something that Dean is using as a sheild, something to cover his own hurt, than anything else. And then the second it looks like Cas is going to turn around and come back to him, all that anger evaporates.

s8 was soooo vindicating as well when it aired, because all summer the bronlies were like, "Dean's motivation in Purgatory will be that he's trying to get back to Sam!" And then it WASN'T. This is another thing too, that bronlies will try to make it out like Sam is the only one that Dean will go to extreme lengths for, that Dean isn't a *generally* nurturing type of person who *wants* a bigger family and to not be so socially isolated. But throughout the entire show, Dean is constantly drawing people around himself. And we do see how Dean is willing to go to great lengths for Cas. Of course, a lot of the time, Dean is convinced that he's powerless to do anything when it comes to saving Cas, but Purgatory was one time when he wasn't, and we see what happens.

(And the thing is I do get where the bronlies are coming from in their understanding of the show, in an abstract sense. Like objectively, if someone were to tell me that there's a story about two brothers, that only have eachother against the world, and they have a super-intense relationship, and all they care about is each other and fighting monsters, and there's a dark, gothic vibe to it, I could see why someone would be into that. Like it's not my jam, but abstractly, I see it. But the thing is, that reading of the show does not hold up to contact with canon - and none of them want to admit that.)

The series finale is so weird when you think about it. Because bronlies hold it up as a win. But it is Dean taken down to a place where all he has is Sam and hunting, and then deciding that he has nothing to live for.

s9 was just a mess. Kicking Cas out of the bunker was so contrived. And then what everyone forgets is how incredibly happy and jazzed Dean was when he thought Cas was going to be living with them. The thing I'm most bitter about is that they couldn't have given us at least one episode of Dean and Cas being absolutely goofy happy around each other before constructing a situation to get Cas out of the picture.

Your last paragraph is interesting, and something to think about. The way I see it, is that Cas has entered a special tier of relationships with Dean, where Dean will hold on to him no matter what. I don't think Lisa and Ben are a good example for your point, actually, because I think Dean blames himself for what happened to them more than anyone else, which is reflected in his final interaction with them when he says he hit them with his car and is happy they can go on with their lives (or something of that nature, I forget).

Mary's death is interesting though. The only thing comparable to something like that happening before is when Dean blames Sam for Charlie's death (and what Dean says to Sam - "I think it should be you on that pyre instead of her" - is actually way more harsh than what Dean says to Cas). But Dean does forgive Sam, and he does forgive Cas - again, they're on a special tier, where Dean values them no matter what. And you see that throughout the divorce arc, where Dean keeps checking in on Cas and showing concern for him, in spite of how he feels at the moment - like he knows througout that the rift him and Cas are going through isn't going to last forever.

I think all of Dean's closest relationships are toxic, just as a result of the way he was raised and the kind of life he leads. With Sam, John, Mary, Jack, and Cas. The relationships that aren't toxic are the ones where they aren't physically around each other that much (like Charlie), or with Bobby, who has the level of experience to not get caught up in bullshit. With all of them, the death toll doesn't really matter (like Mary endangered Cas too, and Dean forgave her). Dean just tends to not let go of the people around him.

I think a big barrier for Dean and Cas is actually neither of them having any kind of reference model for what they are to one another. All of Dean's romantic relationships have been filled with secrets, and the knowledge that his partner cannot share his life with him. Dean calls Cas his "brother" in s6 and s11, because to him, that's the closest you can be to someone. That changes to "best friend", which is better, because it doesn't have the same connotation of obligation and responsibility - your best friend is someone you actually like being around. And it's a title that is uniquely Castiel's.

And in general he has trouble categorizing Castiel. Like he keeps trying to put Cas in human boxes that he doesn't actually fit within. He repeatedly indicates that he thinks of Cas as just a guy, and then Cas acts in ways that defy that category.

So yeah, I guess I don't really think that Dean sees Cas as unsafe. It's more that Dean just isn't thinking of romantic relationships as a possibility for himself. And he doesn't quite know how to categorize what he and Cas are to each other (and the fact that Cas is a dude may or may not play into that, depending on how much you think Dean grapples with internalized homophobia). And they're both generally fucked up.

It's an interesting idea, though, that Dean sees Cas as a danger, that I'd be interested in seeing explored more in posts or fic.

[adanmwere]

spn au thing! I took this from my notes app

Less or more I'm unsure if I can cw this with anything? I don't think anything in it is triggering and if it is I am terribly sorry

destiel as hell and it kind it starts to read like a fanfic.

A spn au but instead of the "world ending" and them saving the day. it ends. dean accepts Micheals offer from day one. Unlike Sam who doesn't accept Lucifer's offer and never does. this creates tension and micheal gets impatient, the war does happen in fact its hell. Armageddon happens, cas is the only hope for sam and bobby. He is powerless though until..He comfirms something he is in fact god. this causes.. Massive tension because why was he doing this? He had a lot to explain but sam nor bobby wasn't gonna listen to a word he said. if he was god why couldn't he stop it? Wasn't god their father? What the fuck (hes a demi god but he is GOD. just a different one not THE THE god.) he is a human now hes useless as he could ever fucking be. he goes into a depression and still has hope that maybe dean is alive or at least his soul. hes unsure though for many reasons snd who wouldn't be? He was partially used as micheals shield. he'd be lucky if he had made it out with all of his fingers and toes. cas hunts everywhere, he cant teleport so this looking turns into a hunt for years. too many to count he experiences the horrors of humanity and realises how truly fucked this planet was. it disgusted him but he was once again powerless. He was also loosing hope because it was months and years he had been looking for dean for hope that maybe he was alive. just when he was about to give up, he finds himself in a bar a small one and notices a man.. Who seems familiar this was only added on to when the name "dean" was called. It echoed through his ears and rang in his head like a bell. there he was, alive and in the flesh; dean fucking Winchester. He had evidently aged a bit more he was before havibg almost a head of grey hairs but he wasnt that old, he was surely older then castiel had come to remember but he was wearing a pair of sunglasses. He didn't seem to remember cas and castiel was wrecked because he had come so far just to be brought back to square fucking one. he was basically a stranger to dean now... dean took off his sunglasses and he was...blind ? God castiel felt sorry for him.

dean was blind. It was evident the whiteness covering his irises, castiel couldnt help but stare and he knew he was getting weird looks they probably thought he was some weirdo. dean would drink down his beer and speak up, asking the man (castiel) if he was having fun looking at him and if he had never seen a blind man. castiel felt embarrassed he apologized, dean shrugged it off not taking offense to it. But cas...he kind of just gave up. Because what was he to do? he left the bar, he felt emptier then usual maybe it was because he lost two of his best friends. one to His ignorance and the other to just being powerless because he nearly killed himself to help the Winchesters. he shouldve been pissed, mad even. Why wasn't he? why wasn't he mad at them? for making him suffer. it had to be a deeper reason to why, right? He leaned against the wall of the alley way as a figure caught his eye and deans voice once again echoed through his ears. Like fine wine made his ears tingle at the rasp in his voice. he called out castiels name. cas was unsure if he was referring to him. someone else must've had that name too, right? Cas noticed deans slight limp and the... cane dean had, god maybe dean was older then he thought. cas looked around nervously not talking because well he was blind. not to be mean or anything... "castiel novak" 'dean' called out. that wasn't even castiels last fucking name. It was his vessels last name. Jimmy novak, poor guy...But that wasn't important, taking a closer look at "dean" he had a uhhh...fake leg?..what were those things called...God that, battle must've taken a tool on him. But how was he even breathing? he was supposed to be dead, that was the plan that was the fucking mission not to kill dean but kill Lucifer and Sam was meant to be his vessel but Adam took that role soon after they figured out that Adam was Winchester blood he was the closest thing to Sam. Micheal was an angel he obviously had to have a vessel. god forbid. castiel began to feel a migraine form, he rubbed his temple. he would never get used to being a human. he missed being who he was. being able to help, defend. do something, He could barely hold a gun properly. what use was he? "stop thinking that way, hun" dean said. the words made his throat sore cas turned almost red. maybe it was because dean was blind. hopefully dean didn't.. mean to talk to castiel like that, right? fuck. (This turning into a fanfic lol HELP.) cas shook his head and groaned out the pain he was feeling. His head was throbbing like it had a heart beat of its own. "There's something, they..wanted me to give..or back yeah. give back" dean uddered as he hastily walked over to cas. pressing his pointer finger and middle finger against castiels temble. rubbing and sliding them down with a slight touch to it a beam of white light emerged the alley way he had been standing in. it gave the night a light. it was like a beam. the same ring that dean heard when castiel first tried to communicate rang through castiels ears... his own voice

[mathmusicreading]

Currently thinking about the title of Supernatural season 4 episode 1 "Lazarus Rising". It's so simple and so evocative. I think I get something extra from it because I love Terry Pratchett, Discworld, Hogfather, Discworld's Death, and the quote "where the falling angel meets the rising ape". (Do the Destiel shippers go wild with this? The Cas fans supporting his love for humanity and even creating free will? They should.) But just on it's own, it's referencing coming back to life and the phrasing has connotations of ascension and empowerment. It also avoids connotations of zombies or likening Dean to Jesus Christ.

On that note, I wonder how much Supernatural meant to parallel Dean Winchester to Lazarus of Bethany, and Castiel to Jesus for that matter. (With how little I engage with Supernatural canon, I think my thoughts on Chuck's relationship with Castiel are mixed and not set, but for fun right now: Castiel is Chuck's favorite angel, and Chuck hates it and hates him for it!)

Dean was dead for four months, much like Lazarus was dead for four days. (Dean was also in hell for 40 years, a significant number and amount of time in the Bible. And moving away from the Christianity angle, four is a fitting motif with Dean's death given "four" sounding like "death" in Mandarin Chinese.)

Dean is "the righteous man", while part of the title with which Lazarus is venerated is "Righteous Lazarus".

If "risen dead" evokes zombies and "risen from the dead" invokes Jesus, then "Lazarus rising" conveys that the subject of resurrection is a normal human, and the key is that they are resurrected by a great power who is good. Specifically, Lazarus is resurrected by Jesus, the Son of God, and Dean is resurrected not by a necromancer or demon, but by the angel Castiel, sent on a holy mission.

Jesus did not immediately save Lazarus, rushing to heal him upon hearing of his illness, but waited two days before traveling to and resurrecting Lazarus after he died. I can't help but feel like this is similar to Castiel's not rescuing Dean until 40 years into Dean's sentence in Hell, after he had broken on the rack and become a torturer shedding blood in Hell.

Jesus did not merely heal Lazarus when he was sick, but resurrected him after death, for God's glory and that people might believe in Jesus' own coming resurrection. (God resurrecting Castiel, anyone?) I think Supernatural canon is not explicitly clear, and it may be widespread fanon or a popular fan head canon that Castiel was sent immediately to rescue Dean, but wow the similarity to Jesus and his mission if Cas couldn't reach Dean or wasn't sent until after Dean broke because of heaven's ultimate plan to carryout the apocalypse, rescuing Dean not being about saving a righteous man but about breaking the first seal to Lucifer's cage.

Not full of meaning, but Jesus resurrected Lazarus in his tomb and still wrapped in his grave cloths. So for the people jokingly asking why Castiel left Dean in his coffin, six feet under, instead of zapping him out, it's because we're really leaning into the Jesus angle. (Is Cas lobotomized Jesus?!)

And the kickers now that we've gone through all that: Jesus wept. He was moved with compassion for Lazarus' sisters and friends. He mourned Lazarus' death even while on the way to resurrect him. It was well known by all that he loved Lazarus. Take that how you will and run with it, Cas fans and Destiel shippers!

Last thing not being included with the rest because you can't as easily get it just from reading John 11:1-44 or doing an internet search for Lazarus. DiscIaimer that above, I got the title with which Lazarus is venerated in the Eastern Orthodox Church from Wikipedia, and so too the following Biblical interpretation/theological commentary.

The miracle of the raising of Lazarus is the climax of John's "signs". It explains the crowds seeking Jesus on Palm Sunday, and leads directly to the decision of Caiaphas and the Sanhedrin to plan to kill Jesus. Theologians Moloney and Harrington view the raising of Lazarus as a "pivotal miracle" which starts the chain of events that leads to the Crucifixion of Jesus. They consider it as a "resurrection that will lead to death", in that the raising of Lazarus will lead to the death of Jesus, the Son of God, in Jerusalem which will reveal the Glory of God.[17]

Dean's resurrection led to Castiel's death. Castiel died because he saved and loved Dean. When Castiel first laid a hand on [Dean] in Hell, he was lost! Castiel died because Chuck is a Pharisee that can't accept his manly everyman main character (sorry, Sam) is bisexual instead of straight. Chuck can be bisexual, but the manly everyman main character has to be straight, and so he killed Castiel for it. Dean too if you believe Chuck won.

And if the point of Lazarus' resurrection is Jesus' divinity, then the point of Dean's resurrection is that the angel is gay and Dean is bi!

[sickseraph]

No because why am I scared of being made fun of for loving these men when Destiel is probably the most beautiful thing ever created.

An angel pulls a righteous man from hell and heals his wounds and is so overcome with this triumph that he screams DEAN WINCHESTER HAS BEEN SAVED so loud that he awakens fallen angels. He rebuilds this man from dust. The man is scared of Castiel, they don’t trust each other, but they need each other—the man begs the angel to see why Heaven, why God’s plan is corrupt and the angel should trust him. Against nature, breaking from the script, against God, his Father—the angel rebels. The angel rips out the part of him that serves Heaven all for this man and only because he asks. Only because now he’s starting to feel, and angels don’t feel.

What’s coming isn’t an easy task—the man considers giving himself up but the angel won’t let him, beating him unconscious while yelling I rebelled for this? And still, when the day comes, the angel dies for him. The angel attacks his own brothers for this man, is incinerated instantly, and never gave it a second thought.

After the angel is resurrected, they spend years trying to fix everything for each other and almost always do it wrong. They are eventually sent to purgatory together, and the man spends every waking moment praying to his angel. He could’ve escaped, he could’ve been angry at the angel for his misdoings, but he stayed, ripping flesh and killing anything in his way to get to the angel. But he doesn’t understand—the angel, upset, says they’re after me, Dean. I avoid you to protect you. The man won’t listen. He can’t. He pulls the angel to the exit but their hands slip right there, on the precipice. And the man is so distraught that he tells himself he’d let go by accident, but we know this isn’t true. The angel wanted to stay, wanted to feel punishment. The angel saved the righteous man and stayed behind.

But they can’t be kept apart can they?

The angel finds his way back, like always, and Dean is seeing his face everywhere. Dean blames himself. It’s easier than thinking his angel wanted to stay. It’s easier than being abandoned.

Heaven isn’t happy with this angel—this silly thing that gave up its innate purpose and programming all for a human—so they attempt to rewire him, resorting to lobotomy as a way to force him into conforming. They create infinite copies of his human and force him to kill each one, testing his loyalties. And after all this, after being turned into a mindless soldier through torture, it only takes one thing to break the connection. Dean, on his knees, saying I need you.

And this does not fix everything. Now the angel is desperate to undo his wrongs, searching for ways to repay him; so desperate that he misplaces his trust and is irreparably damaged, intimately violated by God’s Scribe. His grace, every part of his angelic traits, is stolen from him, literally ripped from his throat before the Scribe sends all angels plummeting to the Earth. And now the angel is an entirely new species—a human, soft and vulnerable, with nothing to his name—a prime target of angry, wingless angels.

There is only one thing he can do. He can call his human, beg for help, but it’s not going to come quickly. He has to decide between eating and warding himself from his murderous siblings. He virtuously refuses to steal or hurt anyone. He just wants to be safe. He trusts the wrong person and, seconds away from being saved by his human, is stabbed through the heart. Although his brother is injured, Dean caresses his angel’s face and sobs, insisting that the entity inside his brother’s body fix Cas despite how it will hurt the entity and likely put Dean’s brother at risk. It doesn’t matter. Then they go home, and the angel feels safe for the first time as a human.

But nothing lasts forever. The entity inside Sam is anxious, insecure around Cas, and so Dean asks the angel to leave. For probably the first time, Castiel feels intense sadness. Betrayal. Grief. Stress. And it’s because of his human, the one human he was attempting to make everything up to before. Well, apparently he hadn’t done well enough. The angel leaves, still desperate for cash and food, resorting to sleeping in the storeroom of a gas station to stay warm.

The angel has to protect himself from enemies, stealing angelic grace just to keep going. At the same time, Dean takes on the mark of Cain and slowly loses sanity. The angel earns a league of likeminded angels that believe in him, and it finally looks like maybe he can do things on his own again. Naturally, this can’t last for long—his allegiance to this dangerous, marked human is too risky for any angels to trust him.

And his allegiance is tested, but holds strong. Dean can tear the angel to pieces and he’ll still lay there on the floor, unwilling to harm him, and Dean will walk away knowing he could’ve killed Cas but didn’t. Couldn’t.

Over and over, they fight together or they fight each other and it never ends any different. They stick together. They get angry about how the other is acting. And they stay, because leaving just isn’t an option.

The next time the angel dies, the righteous man isn’t the same. He can’t accept it now, now that it seems real and now that the angel was so solidly good, so individualistic and pure. He burns his body and watches, red-eyed. This time it’s real. This time God isn’t on their side to bring him back. So he does what he knows—he drinks, he hides in comfort, he puts himself at risk. He starts thinking that maybe the solution to their problems is for him to die—really, hadn’t they destroyed the natural order enough?

And then the angel calls him from a payphone and all thoughts of ending his life are wiped from his mind. Dean didn’t care how he’d returned, just brought him home and indulged in a way they never did—they took a fun case, they dressed up like cowboys and caught a bad guy.

They’re not allowed fun, though. They’re doomed by the narrative—the God that is insistent upon failure. Over and over they’re tested, and no matter whose mother is killed and whose psyche is broken by being blamed for it, they stay together. Because you can hate and love at the same time. Because you don’t really hate them.

And at the end of it all, they’re still together. In the angel’s last moments, it’s still only about his human. What’s important is getting Dean safe, is coming up with a plan that saves Dean. Because even though Castiel had all his grace, Dean was the powerful one. Dean was the one who needed to kill God, who needed to stay alive, and who deserved a life.

And the angel did the only thing he knew how to do, the only thing that always worked—he sacrificed himself for his human. He told his human that he was in love with him, and told him the things he needed to hear, and let himself be swallowed up by eternity. All for Dean. For Dean, who was still beautiful.

And this did save the world, but Dean wasn’t the same, really. He vowed to give himself a good life, try to move forward, but it really wasn’t going to happen was it? It was always going to end in his brother’s arms after a hunt. And he was okay with it. And when he got to Heaven, sitting beside his true father with a beer in hand, he heard Cas’s name and smiled. It had been ages since he smiled.

[orionsangel86]

Aa someone who pretty much threw away all their hope as soon as SPN cons started up again after the finale, it is a really crazy position to be in now to have to once again adjust my views and reconsider everything thats been said over the last 2.5 years.

I quit spn fandom and stopped paying attention to cast interviews because frankly:

Jared literally does nothing but spew the absolute worst most rancid takes I have ever heard to the point that I genuinely believe the man is completely deranged and has no idea about the show he filmed for 15 years

Misha has basically given up hope and stopped caring. He started off fighting to ensure people took the confession seriously, and seemed genuinely proud and passionate about ensuring people understood the love confession was legit and Cas knew exactly what he was saying, but over the years it seemed like he was broken down behind the scenes and forced to toe a company line of ambiguity for some unknown suspicious reason. Now he's back to resorting to jokes most of the time.

Jackles though, Jackles has until this point always been a fucking head fuck of a mystery. The "sexy silence" post finale. The sole interactions being with Misha and about the confession. The way he gushed about the confession shortly after it aired before the finale. Then the production company, The Winchesters, the J2 messy public fallout and cringy PR fake reassurance of love for his "brother". The fact that in every con up until this point he has kept any answers about the confession abiguous and deliberately vague - always playing both sides, always trying to keep ALL fans happy whatever they believe about the show. The attempt to explain it as Cas not feeling love the way humans do at one point (much to fandoms horror).

I admit I have joked many times about the "jackles long con" (the conspiracy theory that ever since he found out how spn has ended he has personally been on a war path to fix things and give us a satisfactory ending for Dean and Cas) but I was always in 2 minds about whether it was legit a thing. I believed he wanted to fix Dean's ending somehow yes, but I always figured Cas's story was an afterthought the same way Sam's was. I had no delusions that Jackles would legit want to give closure to the confession and give us reciprocated Destiel - whatever that may look like. It just didn't seem like a thing Jackles would want to do. Save Dean? Yes definitely. But actually make it canon that Dean is bisexual and madly in love with his angelic best friend? Even on his most Destiel friendly days I have never been able to truly believe that.

But this latest response from him at jibcon is veerrrry interesting. To plainly state that he hopes the confession is addressed. That he wants to see that. Its the first time he's ever mentioned it in non vague terms.

Look I have no hope of a fanfiction style sappy romantic destiel reunion scene in the Winchesters or whatever. But for Jensen to genuinely give a clear and thoughtful response about what he thinks that would look like, that he thinks Dean would want to talk about that, and address it, that is certainly progress beyond anything we've had from him before.

One of my friends in our group chat raised the thought of Jackles addressing the confession only to have Dean tell Cas he's sorry, but he doesn't feel the same way. THAT is a terrifying thought, but I gotta ask, would Jackles really do such a thing? He knows exactly how much Destiel means to the fans. He knows how important it is, hell, he was online watching the Nov 5th fallout along with everyone else. If it wasnt important, it wouldn't have trended above the US election. He would alienate the majority of his fanbase. Remember, he has already technically picked a side - something I thought he would never do. The Jared stans and bronlies and Destiel haters all loathe him now. They curse his name as much as Misha's ever since he dared to exclude Sam/Jared from The Winchesters. Jensen isn't an idiot, he knows who his main fanbase is, and that is proved even more obvious by The Winchesters itself, which according to my friends who watch it, is very pro Destiel. My friend described it as what SPN could have been were it not for Jared and Bob Singer - a kinder, friendlier, queerer, and more equal, show. I haven't watched it so I can't comment, but I see so many people say that this among other recent behaviours proves that Jackles is on our side.

I am of course still a bit hesitant to give him so much credit. I'm not gonna stamp him with a big HELLER FRIEND stamp like the one we stamped on Misha years ago. But I am feeling more positive towards him than I have in ages.

Ever since the confession, the official stance on Destiel seems to be to keep it as vague and ambiguous as possible. To never confirm or deny anything especially when it comes to Dean. This has been frustrating, but has kept the door open at least.

By Jackles stating today that he wants the confession addressed and even hinting that it may be in the cards sooner rather than later, tells me that a decision has possibly been made.

The ambiguity has got to go. Dean either reciprocates or he doesn't. Those are the only options available.

If, as it has so often been teased and alluded to, Cas is going to make an appearance in The Winchesters, Jackles would surely need to get Misha on board with his plans. Misha who has been firmly on the side of Destiel since day 1. Would Misha really agree to step back into Cas's shoes only to have his heart broken by a rejection from the man he loves? I don't think he would.

So surely, the only way for the confession to be addressed is to go with the other option. Full reciprocation.

Who else is there to even object anymore? Jared? Fuck that guy? Bob Singer? That old asshole has no power anymore. The CW? Maybe. I dunno what Jackles situation is with the execs and how much power he has over the Winchesters stories. But perhaps he's been able to convince them? Given the state of queer media in 2022 and how rapidly the world has moved on from tolerating CW style queerbait.

Shows like OFMD, Good Omens, The Sandman, IWTV, WWDITS, etc etc... they have proven that queer is popular. It brings in cash. The CW has always been sitting on a goldmine with Destiel, which has never really stopped being popular, even now. They were fools to not go all the way the first time around, and after the queer media boom of 2022 they look like even bigger fools. I still have my own beliefs about the circumstances that prevented a proper destiel ending (mostly to do with the business of the one star the CW were holding onto at that time and his stupid cop propoganda show) but considering all that has happened since then, were the CW given another chance to explore Destiel now, I think they'd be absolute fools not to take it.

Anyway, the point of all my rambling is this: I think I'm back on board. Laying it all out logically, if Jackles is gonna address this, he's gonna do it in the way that will be the most popular, and generate the most publicity, engagement, and ultimately, cash.

In other words: we may see yet ANOTHER "Destiel is canon" day before the decade is over.

[remythologise]

please rank your gay ships based on how bad thekr first time havifn sex would be thank you

a short selection of SOME gay ships from western live action on a RELATIVE score ranking because we don’t have time or space for all the rest: charles/erik: charles is literally a telepath. their first time having sex is 15/10 even if both of them cry and erik gives himself an injury it doesn’t take away from how out of this world the sex is

hannibal/will: 13/10 for the 13 people that died right before it happened. I am so sorry to tell you this but they are BOTH so into it and there is so much blood.

alexander/hephaistion: over two millennia of people saying alexander was cuntstruck by hephaistion’s thighs so I guess that first messy 12/10 handjob was astronomically good for alexander.

tos kirk/spock: kirk is very kind and gentle with spock here even though spock’s losing his goddamn mind about it. kirk, in fairness, ALSO loses his goddamn mind about it a bit. not for nothing are they based on the above two historical figures. 11/10 lewd handholding

xena/gabrielle: including women on this list as a comparison point. it’s so 10/10 good and they are so normal and communicative about their needs, wants and feelings

post-15.18 destiel: might be sort of normal actually. a bit awkward at first, but given cas is an angel and blows out some lights along with dean’s back I’ll give it a solid 9/10 that can only get better from here.

flint/silver: 8/10 sadly they’re both so in love with each other and work so well together it overrides all of the gaslight gatekeep girlboss manipulations and mindgames that have or will go on, even if they’ll never admit that!

steve/tony: picking one universe and saying ultimates, ults steve is homophobically trembling the whole time and ults tony is bitter and jaded and laughs derisively at the situation after steve comes. 3/10 objectively but a 9/10 experience for steve (previously had not had gay sex) and a 7/10 experience for tony (he’s a masochist)

holmes/watson: holmes is too in his head about it and watson doesn’t know if he likes gay sex yet. 6/10 love that dare not speak its name is still very sexy for all involved

house/wilson: they know way too much about anatomy for this to be bad, BUT never underestimate the power of them derailing the experience by arguing with each other and bringing up death before anyone even gets off. 5/10

kim/harry: oh this is ABSOLUTELY what you’d expect (harry full on losing it not even halfway in and sobbing violently) but it is saved by the fact harry can near-read kim’s mind even if he doesn’t know what kim’s mind means half the time. 4/10, +0.5 modifier (kim really trusts you)

nandor/guillermo: also 4/10, neither of them communicates about their kinks. guil makes a secret action plan of how the next time can be better, except nandor then immediately goes off and hooks up with some other love of his life

merlin/arthur: 5/10 sloppy blowjob by merlin that gets a downgrade to 3/10 because somehow in sucking arthur off he also managed to doom magic, all other gay people and the entire working class

geralt/jaskier: 2/10 geralt is thinking about yennefer’s breasts the whole time. sorry he can’t help it blame the djinn probably

aos kirk/spock (or any pre-movies version of tos): somehow kirk spends the whole time convincing himself it’s just a casual thing for a literal vulcan. spock spends the whole time trying not to kill kirk and then thinks he’s gravely injured him AND disgusted him with the scale of his aggressive desire. 1/10 they both get off but it’s physically painful and both are miserable about it

endverse destiel: dean is SOOOO angry and revolted with both himself and castiel. absolute 0/10 that never happens again.

dishonourable mentions for the hell of it:

aziraphale/crowley: whatever neil gaiman said about them never having sex because they’re beyond that or whatever. -10/10 they don’t qualify

[senashenta]

Horror High: Chapter Two

Title: Horror High

Pairing: Destiel

Rating: NC-17 (in future chapters)

Warnings: Sex, Violence

Summary: John Winchester plants his eldest son at Caspar High in Jacksonville because weird things have been happening there: people disappearing. People reappearing only dead and drained of all their bodily fluids. Cocoons. It’s up to Dean to figure out what’s stalking Caspar’s halls and deal with it accordingly; but then he meets the New Kid—newer than him, even, the New-New Kid—Castiel Novak, and all his plans get severely derailed. Now Dean has to juggle the supernatural case—a really hungry jorogumo—and also the fact that he’s very quickly falling in love, something that is absolutely forbidden by his dad.

Meanwhile Castiel, shoved into the third new school in a year because his adoptive father—Chuck Shurley’s—job has them moving around a lot, struggles to fit in at Caspar High, not only because he’s the New Kid but because he’s the weird New Kid. Dean seems like a saving grace, a harbor in a storm, someone who doesn’t judge him—that is until Cas finds out about Dean’s night job. Cas’s life just got a whole lot stranger—but that doesn’t stop him from falling for Dean, regardless.

Notes: Can also be read HERE ON AO3. New chapter next Friday! :)

HORROR HIGH TUMBLR MASTER POST HERE.

HORROR HIGH Chapter Two By Senashenta

Dean ended up walking him all the way home after all. Neither of them said much. Dean’s thoughts were whirling, and Cas seemed a little in shock, but not so bad all things considered. When they arrived at Cas’s house, though, Dean declined to go inside, instead just checking over the other boy’s neck again, then instructing him to clean it and bandage it, and promising he would explain the next day.

Then he took off back to the motel.

Cas followed Dean’s orders, going inside and straight up to his room, where he dried off, changed his clothes, and then bandaged his neck to the best of his ability. He spent the rest of the night laying in bed staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep or even focus enough to do homework because vampires were real. Vampires. Were. Real.

The next day he was tired but felt well enough to go to school and like hell was he going to not go and miss Dean’s promised explanation. He looked for the other boy in the lobby before classes started in the morning but couldn’t spot him, and eventually the first bell rang. He would have to wait until lunch.

When lunch time arrived, he hurried down to the gym to wait anxiously for Dean to show up, half expecting him not to—and was relieved when Dean came around the corner, heading toward him but avoiding his eyes. Why, Cas didn’t know. It wasn’t like Dean had done anything wrong.

“Let me see your neck,” Was the first thing Dean said to him, and when Cas tilted his head to the side, the older teen checked over the bandage there quickly before nodding, “that’s good, it’s… it doesn’t hurt, does it?”

Cas shook his head. “No.”

“Good. Come on.” Dean headed into the gym and Cas followed, and together they climbed in behind the bleachers and settled in their usual spot. Cas fished out their lunches and handed Dean his, but Dean just set his sandwich aside for the time being, something serious obviously on his mind. “Cas, I… I’m sorry. That should never have happened to you.”

Cas was halfway to taking a bite of his sandwich but paused and made a confused noise, “why are you apologizing? You didn’t bite me.” Then he stopped, lowering his sandwich a little and said, vaguely, “vampires are real.” Before asking, “am I going to turn into a vampire now? That’s how it works, right? At least that’s how it works in books and movies, I don’t…” And then, again; “vampires are real.”

That finally seemed to break a little of the tension that had built up in Dean, and he laughed weakly. “You’re not going to turn into a vampire. You have to ingest their blood, or get it in an open wound or something. That’s how they turn people.”

“Vampires are real.” Cas repeated.

“Yes,” Dean confirmed, “and they’re not the only things that are real, there are…” Trailing off, he hesitated before pulling a battered notebook out of his jacket—the notebook he was always scribbling in—and holding it out. “This is my journal. It’s… all the things I’ve Hunted. All the stuff I know, about all the things that are out there. My Dad’s journal is—I mean, mine pales in comparison, but you’ll get the idea.”

“Hunted?”

“Yeah, I…” Another hesitation. This was clearly hard for Dean. “I’m not supposed to talk about this to anyone. It’s the Big Secret. But my family, me and my Dad mostly, we Hunt things. Evil things. Monsters. It’s why we travel around so much, we’re always tracking things down to kill them. My Dad’s in Utah right now taking care of a poltergeist situation.”

Cas set his food aside entirely and opened the notebook, flipping through the pages slowly, just skimming some of the handwritten text and drawings. “Monsters are real.” He amended, “and you… Hunt them?”

“Pretty much.”

That made Cas frown slightly, and he asked, “then why are you here, Dean?”

Dean winced at that. “Yeah, about that.” He rubbed a hand through his hair and heaved a sigh, “there’s something going on in this school. You’re new so you don’t know yet. But people keep vanishing, and turning up dead and dried up, like husks. Boys. And male teachers. It’s been happening for a while now. So… Dad dropped me and Sammy here to take care of it. It’s my first solo Hunt. I’ve only ever Hunted with him before.”

“Hm.” Cas hummed, still thumbling through the notebook. “Can I… hang onto this? Just for today? I’ll bring it back to you tomorrow, I promise, I just…”

“It’s a lot to take it at once.” Dean agreed, “just don’t lose it.”

“I promise.” Cas nodded, and carefully tucked the notebook into his backpack. Then he picked his lunch back up and began to eat, slowly and deliberately. “Hey Dean, tell me more about your family, your Dad and the Hunting stuff.”

More hesitation, but slowly Dean began to talk, laying everything out for him, giving Cas a clear picture of who his dad was as a person and as a Hunter, the way he had grown up, always on the road with his dad and Sam, the different Hunts he had been on, the different monster they had killed, the different people they had saved…

And once the floodgates opened, there seemed to be no closing them.

Dean continued to talk for a long time, about his dad, about his brother, about monsters that needed to be tracked down and eliminated, and Cas just focused on the movement of his mouth as it formed the words, unable to look away until, a few minutes later, he abruptly leaned over and kissed the other boy, effectively silencing him in an instant.

Dean froze—but then surged into movement again, grabbing hard at Cas’s shirt and shoving him back to arms’ length, green eyes darting over the younger’s face. For a moment, Cas worried that he had just bought himself a punch. Maybe two. Maybe more.

Instead, something seemed to click in Dean’s gaze, and he pulled Cas forward again, dragging him into another kiss, hard and deep. Cas made a little surprised sound in the back of his throat but—well—he wasn’t complaining, so he just went along with it, poured himself into the series of kisses that followed until they finally had to part to catch their breaths, Dean’s hands still fisted in the front of his shirt, holding him close the entire time.

“Well.” Cas managed finally, still breathing hard, “I mean. Sorry.”

Dean actually barked a laugh. Releasing Cas’s shirt, he leaned back against the brick wall behind them and shook his head. “My Dad is gonna kill me.”

“No boys?” Cas ventured.

“No relationships.” Dean corrected, “it’s one of the rules. I don’t think he’d care that you’re a boy.”

“Oh.”

“A relationship is a weakness that can be exploited. If I was just screwing you he wouldn’t care.” Dean heaved a sigh and turned his head to look at Cas, almost appraising. Finally, he cracked a little smile. “I think you might be worth it, though.”

Cas blinked in surprise and couldn’t help the small smile that crept across his own face. “So, this is a relationship, then?”

Dean reached with one hand to grab at the front of his shirt again, tugging gently until they were close once more, and leaned in for another kiss. “Yeah, I think. If you want.”

Cas most definitely wanted, not even the weird monster stuff could change that.

-- --

Though he hadn’t really had a chance to do much exploring of Jacksonville proper yet, and he wasn’t what you would call the Mall Type, Cas had discovered a couple of little stores nearby to where he lived that he rather liked shortly after moving there. They were located in a strip mall a couple blocks from his house.

The first was a pet store, Chicks Dig It, which specialized in birds but also sold things for other animals, including fish food, for his goldfish, and crickets that he could feed to his pet tarantula; the second was called Parchment Paper and was a second-hand bookstore, nothing more needed to be said there, and the third, Magickal Things, was a store catering to the local New Age and Pagan community.

He frequented all three, but that weekend he was in Magickal Things looking for talismans to ward off nightmares and coming up empty. He was also just poking around, because every time he went into Magickal Things they seemed to have a ton of new items that he had never seen before. The place was an absolute treasure trove.

Today, he found himself sorting through the gemstones and reading up on their uses, then admiring the suncatchers that were displayed prominently in the front window.

And then he spotted the little box of sew-on patches and a smile brightened his face immediately. He began digging through the box to see if any of them spoke to him, humming over a couple before choosing one that was a hand, palm out with the palmistry lines labelled on it. He kind of liked that one. Then he continued digging—until he found one that was round, just a simple pentagram. He pulled it out of the box, too.

People tended to associate pentagrams with Satanism, but Cas knew from talking with the shop owner that they were actually powerful protection sigils. This was perfect. Now he smiled down at the patch, pleased, and headed up to the front to pay.

-- --

Two days later found him under the bleachers with Dean again, and he handed the older boy his lunch but didn’t get into his own right away, instead digging out the pentagram patch and his needle and thread.

“Dean, take your jacket off.”

Dean looked up from taking a bite of his sandwich. He grinned. “If you want me out of my clothes you just have to ask, Cas.”

Cas rolled his eyes. Ever since they had upgraded their relationship from friends to boyfriends, Dean had been incorrigible, and while Cas actually found it weirdly charming, he refused to let that show. “I’m serious, Dean, I have something for your jacket, just hand it over.”

Dean sighed and wiggled out of his jacket, somehow without setting his sandwich down in the process, and held it out for Cas to take. Cas muttered a quiet thanks and carefully placed the patch on the right shoulder of the jacket before starting to sew. Dean went back to eating but watched him curiously.

“What is it?”

“Pentagram patch.” Cas continued sewing, “I found it at one of the stores that I go to. Pentagrams are supposed to be protection, right? So, I thought…”

Dean’s chewing slowed and he swallowed the bite of food in his mouth. “Cas…”

“I don’t want anything to happen to you.” Cas explained, as if it wasn’t obvious. Blue eyes were still on his work as he sewed, but he could feel Dean’s gaze on him. “I mean—it might not be much, but I’m not a witch or anything, I can’t cast protection spells, this is all I can do. I can sew. So, I…” There was silence from the other boy until Cas was finished and knotted the thread, snapping it off before returning his sewing supplies to his bag and holding the jacket back out for Dean, not quite meeting his eyes. “Here. I hope you don’t mind.”

Dean took the jacket, but just set it aside and reached to grasp Cas’s wrist, tugging him closer. He leaned in to bump their foreheads together gently, then gave Cas a kiss. “You care about me.” He accused, just teasing, then; “thank you.”

“Of course I care about you.” Cas offered a little smile, embarrassed. “You’re welcome.”

The rest of lunch hour was filled with soft murmurs and peanut butter and jelly flavored kisses, all under the protection of the bleachers and a freshly minted pentagram patch.

-- --

The following weekend, on the Saturday, Cas was invited to the motel for a Research Day. Which, admittedly, did not sound like all that much fun. But spending time with Dean was always nice, and maybe he could even get some kisses out of the deal, so Cas agreed and, with some trial and tribulation, found his way to the Seafoam Motel downtown on Saturday morning with some help from google.

He and Dean had exchanged phone numbers a few days before just in case he needed to call with help with directions. Cas had questioned Dean’s beat-up old flip phone—the thing had to be twenty years old—and Dean had gotten minorly defensive. It seemed he was a bit of a technophobe, at least to a certain extent. Cas actually found it endearing.

Now he was standing in front of the Seafoam Motel, a dingy building with everything painted an off-putting (of course) seafoam green, which had obviously seen better days. But from what Dean had told him, it was pretty normal for the motels they stayed at: nondescript, cheap, discrete, with good locks on the doors. It made sense, if half of what Dean had told him about a Hunter’s lifestyle was true.

Cas pulled out his cell and called Dean’s number. When Dean answered, he didn’t even bother with ‘hello’, just asked, “which room are you in?”

Dean laughed, “eleven,” and immediately hung up.

When he knocked on the door to the room he’d been directed to, there was a long pause before the locks all clicked open and Dean pulled the door inward with a grin. “Hey!” He stepped aside so Cas could come in, “Sammy’s at the library so it’s just us for now.”

“I brought my laptop.” Cas nodded to his backpack, where he had stuffed his laptop, along with the charger, a couple of notebooks and his pencil case. “I thought we might need it.”

“Yeah, Sammy took his with him, so that’s great.” Dean closed the door behind them and stood there for a minute before announcing, “and that concludes the tour!”

Cas chuckled softly.

The room wasn’t large, but it wasn’t exactly small, either. It had two double beds, a small dresser with a TV sitting on top of it, a kitchenette with a wobbly looking table and a couple of chairs, and another door which Cas assumed lead to the bathroom. It wasn’t much, but he figured it had everything they needed. Dean and Sam were probably stepping all over each other, though, cooped up in there as they were.

“Do you two actually cook in here?” Cas asked.

“Are you kidding? We live on take-out.” Dean scoffed, then, “do you cook?”

“I can burn water, according to my Father.” Cas blinked at him, “why do you think I always bring peanut butter and jelly for lunch? It’s the only thing I can make.”

Dean laughed while Cas shrugged out of his backpack and set it on the table (which only wobbled a little, to its’ credit), pulling his laptop out—and he was just setting it down next to the backpack when Dean’s arms slid around him from behind, winding around his waist and holding him tightly. Cas uttered a soft surprised noise, but Dean was already kissing at the crook of his neck and—oh. Yeah, that felt pretty nice, actually.

Dean let go of his waist to grab hold of one of his hands and tugged him over toward one of the beds—presumably Dean’s—where he sat down and patted the spot beside him until Cas muffled a laugh and sat as well. “You’re terrible.”

“And you’re really damn tempting.”

“Dean,” The other boy was already leaning to kiss by Cas’s jaw, and Cas sighed quietly. “we’ve been together for about ten minutes. You’re being ridiculous.” But Dean ignored him, continued kissing along Cas’s jaw until a smile began to tug at the younger boy’s lips… and he finally turned his head to meet the next kiss with one of his own. “I hate you.” He mumbled against Dean’s mouth.

“You do not.” Dean mumbled back, grinning, and kissed him again.

Ten minutes later and the next thing Cas knew he was on his back with Dean pressed down overtop of him and they were making out like it was the end of days and they would never get a chance to do it again. They had made out before a couple of times, under the bleachers at school, but this was different.

Dean was half-propped up on one arm against the mattress, kissing Cas deep and firm and hot, his knee pushed up between Cas’s legs and grinding there slightly—and Cas was just going with it, because it felt really freaking good, his entire body thrumming with electric pleasure as he dragged his hands along Dean’s back.

He wasn’t sure if he wanted to admit it or not, because Dean would probably think he was pathetic, being new to all this at his age, but he had never done anything like this before—but then again, it wasn’t like his reactions weren’t giving him away, anyway, squirming and rocking under the other boy like he was a virgin. Which he was, but still. And then Dean’s free hand slid up under his shirt, feeling along his side to his abdomen, making Cas arch into the feeling and—

“DEAN! Oh my God gross! You know Dad’s gonna murder you for bringing a girl here righ—”

Dean practically jerked away from him when the new voice piped up from the doorway, leaving Cas to collect himself before sitting up carefully, hair and clothes mussed, to look over. The door was open and a kid no older than twelve or thirteen was standing there, backpack slung over his shoulder and gaping at the sight in front of him. This had to be Sam. Couldn’t be anyone else. Cas swallowed and licked his lips before lifting a hand in a pathetic half-wave. “Uh. Hi.”

“You’re not a girl.” Sam stated, sounding a weird combination of baffled and impressed. He looked at Dean. “And before you try telling me you’re just friends, you should probably put your hard-on away, dude.”

Dean sputtered and demanded, “there is such a thing as liking both, you know!”

“Oh, I know that.” Sam shrugged, “just didn’t think you did.” Then; “Dad’s still gonna kill you.”

Dean ran a hand through his hair and gave a pointed glare. “Not if he doesn’t know about it, Sam.”

“Ooooh, do I have one over you, here?” The grin that split Sam’s face was downright diabolical. “You are going to owe me for this.”

Dean muttered under his breath but finally agreed. “Fine. Deal. Just keep your trap shut about it, okay?”

Sam shrugged again, a seeming acceptance of the terms, and flung his backpack onto the second bed, then plopped down next to it to look Cas over. He had the same kind of analytical way of looking through a person as his older brother did, and Cas found himself shifting uncomfortably after a minute. Dean, meanwhile, announced that he was going for sodas and left the room entirely, probably just to get some air. Finally, Cas cleared his throat and nodded toward Sam’s shirt, where one of the pockets of his flannel was torn.

“What happened there?”

Sam blinked, surprised, and glanced down at his shirt. “Oh. New Kid hazing. You know how it is.”

Cas nodded. He did know how it was; he remembered the basketball incident his first day, the one that had introduced him to Dean. “I can fix it for you.” He offered and reached for his own backpack where it had been tossed on the floor, then opened it to fish out a spool of thread and a needle. “I always have this stuff on me, just in case. Give me your shirt and I’ll sew it up.”

When Sam looked skeptical, Cas flipped his bag around to show off the collection of patches that were sewn across the front. “I did them all myself. I’m actually pretty good at sewing. This one is my favorite.” He tapped one finger against the pair of black wings in the top center of the backpack. “Like angel wings, right?”

After another moment of hesitation, Sam shrugged out of his flannel and handed it over. Cas smiled and immediately got to work. When Dean came back a few minutes later Cas was deep into sewing the tear in Sam’s shirt and barely acknowledged him when he came in the door. Dean tossed a can of soda over to his brother and nodded toward Cas, “what’s going on here?”

“He’s fixing my shirt.” Sam offered with a blink.

“Oh, yeah, he does that.” Dean set another soda down on the bed next to where Cas was just finishing tying the thread off and snapping it with his teeth, then crossed over to perch on the edge of the kitchenette table. When he was done, Cas smiled down at his work, then tossed the shirt back to Sam, who made a kind of hmm face at him before muttering a thanks around the rim of his drink. Cas sat back, hand bumping into the soda that was sitting next to him, and picked it up to open it with a little thanks of his own. Dean just smiled at him from his position safely behind Sam’s back.

“I have two questions.” Sam announced finally, as if he couldn’t stand the silence.

Cas’s eyebrows rose a little. “Mm?”

“Okay, first, what’s your freaking name, dude, I mean really? I walk in on you and my brother—uh. Doing things—I don’t even want to know what—and you never even introduced yourself?” The younger boy sounded exasperated.

“If by walked in on you mean interrupted.” Dean groused.

Cas nearly choked on his cola, but Sam had a point, there, so once he’d coughed a couple of times, he waved one hand placatingly. “Castiel. I’m Castiel. But just Cas for short is fine.”

“Nice to meet you, Cas.”

“Nice to meet you, too, Sam.” And then; “what’s your second question?”

Sam’s eyebrows lifted and his eyes flicked to Cas’s backpack. “Why are your angel wings black? Shouldn’t they be white?”

“That’s two questions.” Dean pointed out. Sam gave him a flat look.

That was actually a good question, though. Cas smiled to himself almost absently as he considered his answer, one finger tapping against the can in his hands. “I think… angels are God’s warriors, right? That’s how they’re portrayed in the bible a lot of the time. I mean they’re also portrayed as loving and forgiving and graceful, too, but… anyway. I think to be the kind of warrior that God calls upon you would need to get your hands dirty. I think angels probably aren’t the pure, sinless beings that everyone paints them to be. If that makes sense.” He tilted his head slightly, “hence the black wings.”

Sam frowned a little in thought before admitting, “that’s an interesting theory.”

Behind him, Dean just rolled his eyes. “It’s all bullshit. Angels aren’t real. Ghosts are real. Chupacabras are real. We Hunt all kinds of things. But angels? Not so much.”

Sam’s head whipped around, and he stared hard at his brother. “Dean, does he know?!”

“Uh.”

“You told him!”

“I—wh—I mea—” Dean hedged with half-words for a moment, then set his can of soda down and gave Sam a firm look; “we got ambushed by a vampire on the way home from school the other day and I just—what was I supposed to do? Cas saw everything and deserved answers!”

“It’s the big rule, Dean!”

“I know! You think I don’t know?!”

“Was this before or after you started making out with him?” Sam demanded, and when Dean gave him a look, he informed; “just trying to figure out your state of mind, that’s all!”

Dean grumbled but allowed it. “Before.”

Sam continued staring hard at Dean, Dean staring right back, neither of them blinking—until Cas interrupted their little stand off, shifting in his seat, to offer, “I understand how important what Dean told me is. Why it’s all a secret. Telling people could get you hurt, right? But I promise, Sam, I’ll never tell another soul. I care about your brother too much to put him—or you—in danger like that.”

Sam turned back around to face Cas again. “You care about him?”

“Yes. Of course.” Cas nodded, then added, “I don’t kiss people I don’t care for.”

Dean snorted softly and muttered, “oh, please, I was your first kiss and we both know it.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Cas asked with just the faintest flush.

A little, quirk of a smile tugged at Sam’s lips. He heaved a sigh. “Okay, I mean, the cat’s already out of the bag. All we can do is trust you, right?” He looked back at Dean again; “what are you going to tell Dad?”

“Nothing. For now, anyway. What he doesn’t know can’t hurt me.” Dean gestured toward Sam, “don’t you tell him.”

Sam held his hands up placatingly, “I already said I wouldn’t.” And then, “but you still owe me.”

“What does he owe you?” Cas questioned curiously.

“Mmm. A favor.” Sam’s reply was contemplative. “To be determined.”

“I hate this.” Dean muttered.

“You should.” Sam confirmed with a little grin. Then he turned his attention back to Cas to ask, “anyway, what are you even doing here? Aside from the obvious.” A quick glance toward the table, “you brought your laptop, so…”

Cas shifted slightly and ran a hand through his hair, trying to make sure it wasn’t still mussed all to hell. “Dean wanted me to come over and help with research, about whatever’s going on at the school.”

“Research…” The younger teen drawled, “riiiiight.”

Dean made the motion of smacking Sam up the back of the head but didn’t actually do it. Cas laughed. “You were at the library and things just… happened.” He, at least, had the decency to look embarrassed, “but now that you’re back we really can do some research if you want. Though honestly, I’m not really sure what I’m looking for. Dean said something about dried up bodies?”

Sam hesitated just slightly before nodding and adding, “and cocoons. We’ve had at least one cocoon.”

“Cocoon.” Cas stated almost blankly.

“Yeah, cocoon.” Dean sighed and set his can of soda down, heading over to sit down next to Cas again, “look, you don’t have to be here. You can just go. You don’t have to have anything to do with this.”

But Cas shook his head, “no, I…” He frowned. “I want to help. I can’t know about these things and just do nothing.” He wasn’t a Hunter himself, but the least he could do was help with a little research. That couldn’t hurt, right? He stood up and crossed the room to grab his laptop. “So, lets’ get started. What’s the wifi password here?”

Sam looked at Cas for a long moment before glancing toward Dean and saying, “I like him.”

Dean just regarded his new boyfriend fondly. “Yeah, so do I.”

-- --

The three of them hung out and did research for a couple of hours, then Dean left to go get lunch and bring it back. Lunch turned out to be cheeseburgers, which Sam did not seem surprised or particularly plussed by. He ate the food anyway with only the briefest of complaints about all the grease.

While they were eating they talked some more, just about school and other bland topics, and Cas and Sam exchanged phone numbers. Once they were done, they went back to work, until Cas had to pack up and leave around four to walk home—so he would be home in time for dinner and his father wouldn’t worry about him.

Dean pulled him into a couple of little, lingering kisses at the door before he disappeared, and Sam watched the whole display with sharp eyes, taking it all in. He had never seen his big brother act this way before. It was… different. Not bad, necessarily, just not the norm.

“What?” Dean demanded as he closed the door behind Cas and went about locking it. He could feel Sam’s eyes on him even with his back to the younger boy.

Sam looked back down at the book in his hands. “Nothing. I just like your boyfriend, that’s all.”

Dean sputtered and tried to protest, “no, it’s not like that, Sammy, Cas and I are just—”

“Fuck buddies?” Sam suggested without looking up from his book.

“Who taught you that?!” Dean demanded, then waved his hands dismissively and began pacing up and down the room restlessly, “we’re not having sex, Sam!”

“Sure looked like that was the direction you were headed earlier.”

“You are taking that completely out of context!”

“You were on top of him and had your hands up his shirt.” Sam glanced up with a raised eyebrow. “And then you made eyes at each other the entire rest of the time he was here. Like the whole time.”

“We did not!”

“Dude, seriously, Dad is going to murder you if he finds out.”

Dean stopped and pointed a finger at him. “You promised you wouldn’t tell him!”

“Oh, so now there’s something to tell?” Sam smirked—then finally took pity on his older brother. Sort of. He closed his book and chucked it at Dean, but at the same time informed him; “I won’t say anything. I did promise, and besides, I do like Cas. He’s nice. You could do worse.”

Dean swatted the book out of the air and flailed his hand a little before regarding Sam suspiciously. “Really?”

“Believe it or not, Dean, I do not thrive on your misery. Besides, you know how I feel about most of Dad’s rules.”

There was a brief pause before Dean said softly, “thanks, Sammy.”

Sam tilted his head a little, curiously, “you really like him, don’t you? I mean more than the girls you’ve been with before.”

“I… yeah.” Dean agreed, almost embarrassed now; “the girls were just sex. Cas is… different.”

“Well, he’s a dude, first off.”

“No! I mean—yeah, obviously, but that’s not what I mean, and you know it.”

Dean was standing there, so obviously flustered over the entire thing that Sam finally just sighed. “I get it.” He said softly, “you like him, capital L ‘like.’ It’s like your first real crush that isn’t on a celebrity, it’s a big deal.”

“It’s not a crush, it’s…”

“I know, I know. I told you, I get it, Dean. You’re allowed to like someone, and who cares if it’s a guy?”

Dean stared at him for a few seconds before dismissing embarrassedly, “you’re thirteen, what do you know?”

Sam gave him a knowing little smile. “Apparently more than you.”

[typicalopposite]

W.I.P. Ask Game!

tagged by: @meraki-yao <3

Ask me anything about my WIPs! :)

(just like... be prepared... there's a lot... and I'm not even going to post them ALL! These are the ones I want to get up by 2025!)

Works Started

Shassie Fic

Psych fic! It's going to read like a 5+1 fic but with an added +2 lol! Just a chapter for each season starting with them pining and eventually getting together! Think the Shules timeline but Shassie instead... with some scene changes missing scenes episode swaps and all that! I swear I'll have a better summary when I post it!!!

you still haven't noticed (oh but baby, I have)

RWRB Fic. I have been sharing the snippets from lately. Another 5+1 fic (I love them ok!) about Alex noticing things about Henry through the their relationship. Gonna have a lil bit of angst because... well just because.

Happy Birthday to Me!

RWRB Fic. This was supposed to be written on my birthday... it didn't happen! but since their birthdays are in March... hopefully I get it up this month!

no one's more mystified than Shaan

RWRB Fic. ANOTHER 5+1 fic! Shaan POV. It's going to be part of the Zahraverse series, and will be kind of a parallel to the Zahra Deserves A Raise fic!

first rule of fight club

RWRB Fic. BAMF Henry! The jist? A guy punches Henry and Henry learns how to fight so it doesn't happen again.

Baby Mine

RWRB Fic. Kid fic. Henry and Ellen bond over baby June! :D very very cutesy very very fluffy as kid fics should be!

Three Nights

RWRB Fic. Sequel to Three Days!

Rewrite the Stars

RWRB Fic. Amnesia Henry! Amnesia takes place during the polo match.

Desperado

Destiel Fic. Fix it where Dean doesn't die and they retire. Of course Cas gets saved... what do you think I am a monster??

Kiss The Angel

Destiel Fic. Jack goes to the empty to save Castiel. Makes a deal with the Empty that Dean will reciprocate Cas love confession (with the catch of him not remembering Cas' confession) by the time the sun sets on the third day... or the Empty can have him too. Yes its a Little Mermaid themed fic :)

Make it Better

WangXian Fic. 5+1 fic. Five times LWJ uses WuJi on WWX and one time WWX uses it on LWJ! :)

Drunk XiChen Fic

WangXian Fic. Because one drunk Twin Jade of Lan is not enough apparently.

(boy, I am killing it with these summaries... I KNOW!)

Practical Cultivation

WangXian Fic. A Practical Magic themed fic! :)

Sympathy For the Devil's Spawn

Lucifer Fic. Season 6 fix it! Rory is stuck in a hell loop (the whole she goes back to confront her dad, makes him "abandon" her, rinse and repeat BS that was the series ending) but in reality he was there and a part of her life and HAPPY, but she thought she ruined his life by being born so she goes to hell to learn about him and gets trapped in a hell room :)

just a little while

Gallavich Fic. Gallavich take Liam after the series finale and are amazing uncles to Franny and Frank! its just a cute fic with some angst! I will finish it soon i SWEAR

IDEAS!

Arthur POV

RWRB Fic. probably will be a 5+1 of Arthur finding out about his cancer and spending time with his family up to the end. or something sappy shit like that!

The Puppy Trap

RWRB Fic. Yes another David fic with The Parent Trap theme!!

Henry and Oscar Fic

RWRB Fic. SOOOOOO what if they like bond over losing their dads.... that sounds bittersweet and delicious... right?? :)

Nutcracker Fic

RWRB Fic. @meraki-yao this one is for you! <3 and like... is self explainatory.

NoteBook Fic

RWRB Fic. Again self explanatory. Angst and angst and so much ANGST! but in a good way!

Practical Cultivation FirstPrince

RWRB Fic. I don't even know how to make this work... but I need to make this work!

Clap Your Hands If You Believe

WangXian Fic. Think how the kids bring Tinkerbell back to life... but make it WWX and restoring his golden core! :)

AAAND I think thats all... omg Imma have carpel tunnel from typing this!!!!

No Pressure Tagging: @onthewaytosomewhere @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @scripted-downfall and @taste-thewaste <3

[frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe]

you mentioned maybe doing some destiel for the prompt thingy... 23 and 60 were giving me such dean vibes i would love to see you do more destiel stuff <3

hello, friend!! thank you so so much for requesting these!! i've literally never actually written any destiel stuff, so i really hope you enjoy! 🫶🫶

23 - “It’s hard to get used to…” “what is?” “Being someone that someone cares for…” 60 - “I’ve never felt this way before and I’m terrified to be honest.”

pairing: destiel | word count: 1,508 | rated: T

request a prompt from here!

Damn fuckass witches…they should all go straight to hell.

What lesson is he supposed to be learning anyway, it’s not like she gave him any sort of hint. 

…Okay, maybe she did, but it’s not Dean’s fault he wasn’t listening, it’s her fault for chanting her freakin’ curse after throwing him around like she did.

Make his ears ring then tell him the thing that could help break the spell? Not cool.

What the fuck ever, they’re back at the bunker now, the whole case being a dud anyway. That damn witch was behind the ‘ghost’ reports they had gotten, having just conjured one to keep people off her lawn. A classic Scooby-doo type.

Now the only things on Dean’s mind were to get the fuck back home (check), take a long-ass shower (heading there now), and avoid Cas like his life depended on it (…remains to be seen).

Cas being back at the bunker for a long stretch of time like this was a good thing, a great thing, really. He was finally back in one spot where Dean could keep an eye on him, make sure he’s okay for real. No phone calls, no prayers that go unanswered more than half the time, just Cas. Down the hall. Safe and sound. 

And that’s where the (current) problem lies.

Dean’s Cas Problem™ had been slowly building and burning and broiling under his skin for years now. Since that first goddamn meeting in that barn covered in ineffective banishing sigils.

It had to come to a head sometime, and Dean'd much rather that time be when he's not just recently been cursed to only tell the truth.

He successfully avoided the angel for about seven hours.

The next morning, when Sam was either already nose deep in research on Dean’s newest affliction or out -gag- jogging, Dean makes his way to the kitchen for some sustenance.

He’s hoping to be sneaky enough not to alert Cas to where he is, lest the angel try to cook for him again. 

Cas has been doing that a lot. Cooking. Said he found it to be ‘quite fulfilling’ even though all foods only ever ‘taste like molecules’ to him

The act never failed to throw Dean farther down the You’re totally in love with your best friend who’s an angel and also a dude hole he’s dug himself into over the years.

Food is Dean’s ultimate love language. Being given his favorite beer after a long hunt, a plate of homemade treats from the mom whose boy they’d saved, even just a simple slice of pie for lunch while on the road for a while? Astounding, amazing, perfection, 10/10.

It goes the other way too; he loves to cook for someone. It’s how he shows his love for the people around him. He likes just knowing exactly how much of each dumb rabbit food to add to the frankly enormous omelet he makes for Sammy every Saturday, or exactly how much lemon zest he should add to the blueberry pie for the elderly Ms. Aggie up at the grocery store.

Loves it.

So that’s why whenever the particularly gorgeous celestial being that’s taken over Dean’s heart cooks for him, he folds. Wants so badly to love the angel, be loved by him in return. But it’s the most frightening thing he’s ever come face to face with.

Sometimes Dean thinks the affections are returned, but even after all these years he still can’t quite read the full meaning behind anything Cas does.

For the Dean of Now, it’s a compounding problem that will go completely off the rails if Cas finds him in the kitchen.

He’ll find Dean there, insist that Dean ‘rest. You are only human.’, and take up making breakfast himself.

With this curse on him, Dean doesn’t want to even think of the possible things he’d admit to without wanting to.

So he prays (hah) that Cas is gone off somewhere else for just the moment, somewhere far far far away from the bunk—

“Good morning, Dean.”

Fuck.

‘Just keep your mouth shut, Winchester. Don’t make a sound.’

“How are you feeling?”

Dean grits out a simple “Fine.” He’s not lying, physically he feels perfectly fine if a little sore. “Maybe a little sore.”

Cas nods, “Were you about to make breakfast?” he asks, stepping past dean to the stove and turning on one of the burners.

‘Mouth shut mouth shut mouth shut–’

Luckily, Cas is facing away from him and doesn’t see his head nodding in betrayal.

“Dean?”

Dean’s response is slow, each word said very carefully. “I was, but now I am going to just have coffee.” Hey, it’s not a lie if he’s changed his mind.

Cas turns to face him. “Dean, humans cannot subsist on coffee alone. Shall I make you breakfast?”

“No, it’s alright Cas, really. I want coffee.”

A loud grumble emanates from his stomach the moment he stops speaking.

There’s a smirk on the angel’s face now. “Sounds like I should make you something.”

He turns back to the stove, reaching for and setting down a pan from the hook on the wall, and gets to work freakin’ caring and shit.

Dean can’t do much else but to sit back down at the table and wait for food to be made for him.

He can’t protest in the slightest because he really does want more than coffee. As soon as Cas said it the second time, Dean’s brain flipped from ‘Just Coffee’ to ‘Breakfast’ and wouldn’t flip back no matter what Dean thought. 

He couldn’t say anything to the contrary, couldn’t even shake his head ‘no’. All he could do was stare down the tabletop.

So, he stares and stares and stares at the wood in front of him, until the sight in front of him is changed from particularly swirly knot to honest-to-goodness breakfast smiley face. Eyes made of eggs and a salty bacon smile.

The look on his face must be positively tragic because Cas asks “Is something the matter? Did you want your eggs scrambled instead?”

Dean tries to keep the words at bay, his head shaking no for him.

“Then what is it—”

Dean doesn’t keep his mouth shut hard enough. “It’s hard to get used to…”

Cas is guiet for a moment and a half. “What is?”

“Being someone that someone cares for…”

Cas sets down the other plate he was holding, the green shit all over it giving away that it’s for Sam when he gets back, and sits down kitty-corner to Dean (who’s still staring down the same spot).

“Dean—”

Fuck. He’s let something slip and now all of it’s threatening to spill out after it.

“I’m so used to taking care of others, you know? It’s all I’ve ever known. Take care of Sammy, take care of victims, hell, even taking care of those few terrified spirits that don’t know they’re even doing anything wrong!

“I like to take care of people, I like making sure they have what they need, yeah? But whenever you’re around, you’re the one taking care of me.”

Cas nods, “I do, because I care fo—”

“And I don’t ever tell you how much I really appreciate it, hell, it’s what made me fall in lo—”

Dean snaps his mouth shut. Nope nope nope, not doing that. Never. Cas doesn’t need that shit.

“Dean?”

He finally looks up at the angel beside him. 

Cas’ brows are furrowed, his head tilted slightly in confusion, as if he’s trying his damndest to read Dean’s mind.

Dean’s eyes lock with Castiel’s and…

“I love you Cas.”

He can barely process the holy shit, I said it–god fucking mother— before his mouth is barreling onward. “I’m so in love with you, man, haven’t been the same since that night in the barn.

“I love you when you’re full angel, when you’re human; I loved you when you didn’t even know who we were, when you disappeared after the whole leviathan thing, when you went a little insane and became obsessed with bees…I’ve been slowly falling for you since we met, Cas.” He pauses for only a moment, and is off again in the next breath. “I’ve never felt this way before and I’m terrified, to be honest–” he chuckles sardonically at that, “as if I could be anything else right now.”

Cas’ eyes grow wide. “Dean—” his voice placating in tone.

‘Fuck, of course he’s not going to return the feeling; damn emotions, damn angels, damn motherfucking witches!’ 

“Hey, morning guys! That omelet for me?” Sam interrupts before Dean can be let down fully, loping into the kitchen all flushed and sweaty--ah, so a jog, then.

Dean huffs out a breath, scrubbing his face clear of the couple wayward tears that had snuck down his face. “Yeah, Cas made it for you.”

“Sweet, thanks Cas, I–whoa, Dean, what’s wrong?”

Dean clamps his lips shut once again, stands slowly, and walks out of the kitchen with a short pat to Sam’s shoulder.

[what-if-i-just-did]

Destiel Prompt List 3. Extended version of a classic Destiel scene.

Trigger Warnings: graphic descriptions of pain, mind control and the aftermath of being beat up. Also there's some kissing but it isn't really nsfw. And as always feels.

Mind Control and Make-Out Sessions

"We need you."

Shit. He's gonna have to do the movie thing, isn't he? If it'll help Cas.

He swallows.

"I need you."

The next words are 'I love you', but he chokes on them. He tries "Cass.." instead. He thinks his voice breaks.

It seems to work. Cas dropped the Blade.

He tries to keep eye-contact, but just a few seconds in and he's done. Shit, his arm hurts like a biiiiiiiitch. And his face is all fucked up. He's fairly sure his cheekbone is fractured in at least three places, and his eye is definetly messed up, and some skin's been ripped, and there's no way he doesn't have a concussion, but it's fine, he's had worse. (Way worse) His breathing is incredibly ragged, though, almost verging on a panic attack, but he has more important things right now. Namely, Cas.

Then there's a blinding light and oh, Cas got the tablet. He closes his eyes.

Cas is looking at him now. Dean's trying to decide if Cas is okay now, but with a fucked-up eye and the angel being as unreadable as ever, he's not sure. "Cas.." he says, like he's approaching a wild animal. Cas reaches for him.

"No.. Cas.. Cas ! "

He grabs onto Cas's arm, uselessly, he knows, as if he could possibly do anything at all to stop Castiel from hurting him, and Cas isn't doing the two-fingers-to-the-forehead thing, no, Cas is cupping the beat-up side of his head, and it hurts, but Cas is being gentle, and if Dean is about to die then fuck, he leans into Cas's hand because yeah, it feels good if he ignores the rest, so he breathes in sharply and he waits for the blindingly hot pain to course through him and turn his insides to liquid, waits for his eyes to be burnt out and decides he forgives Cas and he has just enough time for a stab of panick when he realizes he'll probably wake up in Hell, again before he's opening his eyes.

He's not in Hell. In fact, he's still kneeling in the fucking crypt. In front of Cas. But.. nothing hurts. His face, his arm... shit, did Cas just... heal him?

He's panting. He looks at Cas, and the angel is looking so guilty, so motherfreakin' cute- no, adorable, that Dean's breath hitches. Which, you know, he's pretty sure is not a reaction he's supposed to have about Cas, who's a dude, (or, at least in a dude and wow that took a turn wait a minute), and also like this heavenly, millenia-old warrior of heaven or whatever but right now he's got other focusses.

"So sorry, Dean."

There's about a million things he could say, but he goes for

"What the Hell just happened". Are you okay?

"I... Naomi was..."

"Yeah, about that. Who's Naomi?" And what did she do to you?

"Naomi is an Angel of Heaven-" Which is the moment Dean realises he's still on his knees, in front of Cas. It takes him about .5 seconds to get to his feet. Cas stops talking to give him a confused look (with the squint and headtilt and it's not helping Dean with trying to stop seeing Cas as cute) but Dean just shoots him a quasi-innocent look that says 'I'm ignoring that look, you were saying?' so Cas keeps talking.

"She.. She's an Angel of Heaven who.. well, her job is to make sure everyone obeys their orders. She sent Angels to Purgatory to, save, me, but she realized of course I wouldn't simply obey her. She gave me... exercizes. Tests, perhaps. Or.. well, whatever you want to call it. She had to be certain I'd obey her. I..." Cas stops to shake his head and break eye-contact, looking at the floor. "Dean, I am incredibly sorry. I would never... I never wanted to hurt you. I wish I could take it back." He makes a vague hand-motion. "I healed you. I suppose that's as close as it'll get." Blue meets green again. "I would never have done that if I was in control of my actions."

Dean leans backwards. Between the emotion is Cas's voice, and the information that someone, some dickwad angel, had been controlling his Cas (he knows Cas isn't really his but it does feel that way. His guardian angel.) for that long, he's torn between possesive anger and being touched by how much Cas cares.

"I forgive you. Hell, I already forgave you since before you stopped... Cas, it wasn't you, okay? I think that's pretty obvious. I forgive you."

He needs that much to be clear to the angel (only angel he'll ever care about). Now that he got that much clear, he took a breath. It's been four years. He's already lost Cas... more than once. And maybe his brain isn't really working cause this is gonna have consequinces but right now he can't really care. He just needs to say it.

"I love you, of course I forgive you."

Cas frowns. "You.. love.. me? How.. after all I've done, after I just- how could you say that?"

Okay. not what he'd been expecting. Uhm. "Cas." He needs to find some words, but it's like all the words in existence are playing hide and seek and he's it (isn't that tag? Oh whatever). "You... You.. Cas, you've done so much for us. And I already said, I forgive you for beating me up. And.. whatever Naomi did, ain't your fault. Yeah, sure, you've made mistakes.. big ones. But so have I. So has Sammy, I mean... I don't care. Besides, love.. I don't know, it's probably just a stupid human thing, but.. mistakes, and betrayels and whatever, it's not supposed to matter. It doesn't matter. I love you. And.. yeah, we've got shit to work out, but that doesn't take away from me loving you. Get it? Like.. we're family. You know what family does?, family forgives. And loves. So. There's that." There. That was, decent, right? Maybe shouldn't've said the family part, but, well.. too late now, huh.

Cas nods, looking a little... overwhelmed. "I... I think I understand. it sounds like such a human thing, but, I... I love you too, Dean. In a way I don't think.. I don't think my brethren could."

And oh. Cas probably doesn't realize what that would mean, in human terms, what he just said. But there seems to be some residual brain damage or something, because the next thing Dean blurts is "Cas can I kiss you", followed instantly by him shoving a hand over his mouth and wishing the ground could swallow him up.

Cas tilts his head. Squints. "Yes."

"What?" W H A T ? ! ? Did Cas just...

"Yes. You can.. kiss me, Dean."

Dean gulps. Yes, definetly residual brain damage. Cas was probably feeling too guilty to properly clean him up. Right now, Dean could care less. "I... okay."

He takes a carefull step forwards. Cas doesn't move. Another step, and now he's standing right iin front of Cas. His eyes flicker over Cas's face, trying to find reluctance, or hesitation, or disgust. They find curiosity, and thinly-veiled exitement (?) and some caution. That's fine. He angles his head a little, and Cas's breath is pracitcally ghosting over Dean's lips. He hesitates, like if he stepped away now, they could pretend this never happened. But he started this. He wants this. And Cas said yes. "Love you." Dean whispers before sealing their lips and closing his eyes.

Cas's lips are soft. So soft. He cautiously moves against them, and consequentially inhales a lungfull of Cas. He smiled into the kiss, and he can feel Cas move a little too. He brings his hand up to cup Cas's jaw a little, for balance, and Cas does the same, but a little less shy, leaving his hand closer to Dean's lips than Dean would dare do to Cas right now. They shift their heads to different angles, putting more or less pressure to the kiss they're sharing. Then Dean carefully reaches out with his tongue, licks over Cas's lips, and Cas gasps. Dean takes the oppertunity and licks the inside of Cas's upper lip, and Cas lets him, so he doesn't stop. He doesn't want to stop.

It doesn't take long after that for the kiss to become a little... less innocent. Their tongues find eachother, and more hands are being shifted, holding onto shirts and trenchcoats and jawlines and hair and chests, and then someone moans, and the kiss turns desperate, hopefull, longing, nostalgic. Everything they wanted, out on the table, and mirrored on each side. Why did they wait four years with this? Why did it take losing eachother, over and over and over, for them to realize they could have what they wanted? They could have had this all along.

Then Cas puts his hand flat on Dean's chest, and it's clear what that means- stop. Dean pulls back, opens his eyes. "Shit, you okay, what's-" but Cas is softly smiling.

"Dean... as much as I'm enjoying.. this. We have... we have things to deal with, to discuss. Naomi... the Tablet. I think we should put this on pauze. What's the term- raincheck?"

Dean tries to clear up the love and lust fogging his head. Take a breath. "Y-yeah. Yeah, okay. Raincheck. Talk first, make out later. I can do that."

He breathes a few more times. Cas is patient. He puts his clothes and hair back into more or less the configuration they had before Cas's hands found them. He breathes. "Okay...

So, this.. Naomi. Has been controlling you since she got you out of Purgatory?", he prompts. Cas nods sullenly. "Yeah."

Then, of course, Cas leaves. So, 'Make out later' never really happens. Of course, that's how it goes when you're a Winchester. Always got a world to save.

[antigonewinchester]

ooh share something about hesitation or triptych? <3

I will self-indulgently to do both <3

Hesitation but IC is inspired by a Destiel fic called, surprise surprise, Hesitation, written by apokteino, who I think was a fairly prominent fic writer back in the day? She had a series of dark Destiel fics, including Hesitation, the Bone series, the When series, and most infamously With Understanding. I find her work interesting intellectually, in her focus on exploring questions around sexual violence, relationships formed under duress, and the complexities of perpetrators & victims & their dynamics, but it feels like she maps her ideas onto SPN rather than centering canon characterizations or dynamics (at least in my read of the show/characters).

So, I decided to try my hand at a fic with the same premise but more in line with canon, particularly taking into account Cas's control/power over Dean in S4 (and which I don't feel is negated just because of Cas's sexual inexperience, altho it does add some complexity) and Dean's full experience in Hell. Part 1 is from Dean’s POV and Part 2, which I’m currently working on, is from Cas’s:

“You told me Dean wanted to have sex with me. He did, and then he didn’t.” Zachariah and he are sitting at a bar in New York, the city. It’s night, but he can’t see any stars, only the glowing of offices and apartments and advertisements against the sky. One large, flashing sign reads: Open Happiness. The moon is a cut of pure white. The humans around them talk and whisper, blissfully ignorant of the angels and the war they’re fighting to protect them. Their breath forms clouds that rise to disappear into the dark. All are dressed in what he believes are fancy clothes, long flowing red fabrics and unwrinkled suits of black, but he’s no longer sure how much he knows about humanity. Zachariah shrugs. “Humans say they want one thing, then do another, and Dean Winchester is no exception. This is why they need Heaven’s hand, Castiel.” The woman sitting to his left laughs. The man she’s talking with has taken her palm and put it up against his. Her fingernails had been carefully painted in stripes of white and black.

Triptych is sort of the opposite end of the spectrum, in that it’s my attempt at a Dean/Jack fic after looking on AO3 and finding... 2 decent fics of the whole bunch.

I started out as just wanting to do Dean/Jack during S14, but its slowly turned into Dean/Jack in the aftermath of Dean/John, probably in part 'cause I started writing it in the midst of Utena rewatch, which all about memories & cycles & incest & eternity (and then when I got to the part of S14 where Dean suggested locking himself in a coffin for eternity to save the world...) I was also struck by a post of someone discussing a common Utena interpretation that one character didn't actually want to sleep with her brother, but the poster asked if she did, would that desire negate any harm? Does wanting something "bad" mean you can't be hurt by it? If a relationship was both meaningful & hurts you, how do those elements go together?

Got a bit stalled out on this one because Holy Shit the emotional complexities here, and I want to handle it respectfully? Not be gauche? My plan is to have it all lead up to 14x20 and Thee Dean Jack Moment, re-contextualizing it within the scope of my fic, but I'm still figuring out what it all... adds up to, I suppose. (Also that I'm bad at writing character being mean, and Dean has to be mean in this fic, at least for parts of it!)

Heaven turned out to be the world’s best movie night: his favorite memories playing over and over and over again. The road trip where Sam introduced him to Harry Potter and Dean taught him how to read a paper map. He could rewind and play through his favorite five minutes as many times as he wanted. He could make everything faster or slower, which was funny for a little while, but he stopped after it got weird, like when he repeated a word too much and suddenly something would change and it wouldn’t be a real word anymore, just meaningless sounds. He could change from memory to memory in an instant, if he really wanted, but mostly he liked to let them play out before he moved onto another. And once he got to end, it was back to the beginning: a conversation trailed off or a lesson finished and then he was back at the start, to Cas’s reassuring smile, telling him about mistakes and guilt and forgiveness, or Sam’s bright concern, telling him how to take a punch, or Dean’s warm hand on his back, telling him where north was. The one thing he couldn’t do was imagine anything new. He tried, at first, in the memory of that day with Dean, how their conversation at the river could have gone—Dean’s voice low as he’d whispered, “Come here,” and then—and then—but it never worked. Guiltily he’d moved onto other memories, and at least they were too the same: if he'd ordered a hot dog, all he could eat is a hot dog; if Sam and Dean had driven past the apple orchard on a hunt, there was no turning down the short dirt road to pick fruit instead.

[whateverthedragonswant]

So I was thinking about this scene:

I've always talked about it from Dean's perspective (and sometimes from the Destiel perspective) but never from Cas'. I think the GA (and antis who claim this is a fanservice scene and nothing more) underestimate just how powerful this scene was for Cas' own story. The ILY aside, I think it's important to note just how full circle the angel's storyline came and how impactful that decision to include the bloody handprint really was.

When Cas first enters the story of SPN that we see (physically I mean), this scene happens:

Cas: "I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition."

Dean: "And why would an angel rescue me from Hell?"

Cas: "Good things do happen, Dean."

Dean: "Not in my experience."

Cas: "What's the matter? You don't think you deserve to be saved."

Dean: "Why'd you do it?"

Cas: "Because God commanded it."

When Cas first rescues Dean from Hell, he has been commanded to do it. He's following orders. They have "work" for Dean to do aka an ulterior motive. And as we see here, Dean as always, believes he doesn't deserve to be saved (which we find out why in this particular instance later) and that good things don't just happen which momentarily confuses Castiel.

Dean: "Is it true? Did I break the first seal? Did I start all this?"

Cas: "Yes. When we discovered Lilith's plan for you, we laid siege to Hell. And we fought our way to get to you. Before you--"

Dean: "Jump started the apocalypse."

Cas: "We were too late."

Dean: "Why didn't you just leave me there then?"

Cas: "It's not blame that falls on you, Dean. It's fate. The righteous man who begins it is the only one who can finish it. You have to stop it."

Dean: "Lucifer, the apocalypse, what does that mean? Hey! Don't you go disappearing on me, you son of a bitch. What does that mean?"

Cas: "I don't know."

Dean: "Bull!"

Cas: "I don't. Dean, they don't tell me much. I know our fate rests with you."

Dean: "Then you guys are screwed. I can't do it, Cas. It's too big. Alistair was right. I'm not all here. I'm not--I'm not strong enough. I guess I'm not the man either of our dads wanted me to be. Find someone else. It's not me."

In this scene, it's after Alistair got out of the Devil's trap and attacked Dean, after telling Dean that he started the apocalypse by breaking the first seal. Cas reveals that the reason they went into Hell to rescue him was to prevent the first seal from being broken which would knock over apocalyptic dominoes. But they were too late. And Dean makes a good point: why didn't they just leave him there then? Considering what we know about how angels sometimes operate in this story, it would make sense if they chose to do something like that but Cas rescues Dean anyway. Which we know Cas was the one not only because he says it but also because when Dean is resurrected, we see this:

Which is further verified by what happens to Pamela when she touches it. She's able to communicate with Castiel directly (a la Amara with Casifer being able to connect to Dean but I won't digress) and we know her eyes burn when she attempts to spy on his true visage.

Now if we go back to the 15x18 scene above, we get:

Dean, Sam, Cas, and Jack are currently locked in a battle with Chuck and reclaiming their free will after they discover he's been the bad guy all along -> "Lucifer, the apocalypse" from 4x16

Dean and Cas are currently being chased down by Billie aka Death who is intent on killing Dean once and for all so he can go back to where she believes he belongs (and she had a plan in place to take care of Chuck and how Dean would play a part in it besides Jack and Sam) -> aka "Lilith's plan" & Alistair and Co getting Dean to break the first seal from 4x16

Cas is helping Dean to get away, rescuing him from what would have been a gruesome death -> Cas rescues Dean from Hell from 4x01 & 4x16

Dean feeling defeated when he and Cas are locked in the room (that has a Devil's trap in it btw) that Billie is trying to get into -> Dean telling Cas that they shouldn't rely on him to stop the Apocalypse & it's too big for him because he is suffering from guilt and self-doubt from 4x16

Dean: "Everybody's gonna die, Cas. Everybody. I can't stop it. She's gonna get through that door."

Cas: "I know."

Dean: "And she's gonna kill you. And then she's gonna kill me. I'm sorry."

If you take this dialogue and these two performances in this moment and compare it to the 4x16 hospital scene, you have a very similar event or theme happening here. The only differences are Cas' reaction (we see he is more greatly affected this time around which is due to their familiarity with one another and the development of their characters and relationship as well as the show evolving, season 4 was still considered to be the "horror show"), Dean while still hopeless is accepting of the inevitable & is not shutting Cas out. Instead he moves closer rather than looks away like he does in 4x16, letting out the one tear. Not that he wasn't vulnerable with Cas in 4x16, but the whole performance from Jensen while being different in its own ways is also quite similar to that scene.

While Cas saved Dean from Billie in the moment & warded the door to keep them alive that much longer (with his own blood but more on that in a moment), he comes up with a plan to stop Billie entirely that will save Dean but also cause his own death. Thus, he is going to rescue Dean while laying down his own life.

Cas: "When Jack was dying, I made a deal to save him."

Dean: "You what?"

Cas: "The price was my life. When I experienced a moment of true happiness, The Empty would be summoned and it would take me forever."

Dean: "Why are you telling me this now?"

Cas: "I always wondered when I took that burden, that curse, I wondered what it could be, what my true happiness could even look like. I never found an answer because the one thing I want, it's something I know I can't have. But I think I know...I think I know now. Happiness isn't in the having, it's in just being. It's in just saying it."

Dean: "What are you talking about, man?"

Cas: "I know...I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You're destructive and you're angry and you're broken, your'e Daddy's blunt instrument. And you think that hate and anger, that's...that's what drives you, that's who you are. It's not. And everyone who knows you sees it. Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love. You raised your little brother for love, you fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are. You're the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know. You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of Hell, knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you, I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack, but I cared about the whole world because of you. You changed me, Dean."

Dean: "Why does this sound like a goodbye?"

Cas: "Because it is. I love you."

Dean: "Don't do this, Cas. Cas..."

Cas: "Goodbye, Dean."

Dean: "What?"

So not only does Cas address Dean's anger which has been a series-long issue that really was brought to the forefront the most it's ever been in season 15 (meaning the anger is fueling Dean's desperation which is now part of the main theme of the season), but he also saves him from his own personal Hell. While also setting Dean up to do what he does in the next episode when it comes to facing down Chuck and the decision he makes (along with Sam) not to kill him and give him what he wanted. What Alistair, Lilith, and Hell always thought he was. What their enemies (like Chuck) always thought about Dean. What he himself thought.

And the bloody handprint happens in the moment The Empty enters the room on one side and Billie breaks through the door on the other side (when the wards Cas put up in his own blood to protect Dean from Billie don't hold up anymore; yes, Cas used his own blood to protect Dean, the significance of that is just so...I don't even know how to put it into words):

Cas throws him against the wall, out of the way, so he can be physically safe from both supernatural forces. So he not only saves his soul so to speak, he also saves his life.

And what's important about this scene and the way it went down/was written is that while yes, it parallels how Cas rescued Dean from Hell, it also brings his story full circle in a very beautiful way (not just his relationship or profound bond with Dean). Cas chose to do this. He chose to speak those three little words to summon The Empty, ensuring his own death, but also confessing to Dean how he really feels with no expectations. All to save Dean.

So he did what he had entered the story to do in the beginning, but this time, Cas exercised his own free will to save the man he loved while also setting up said man to not only defeat Chuck but also to save the world. Something that Dean himself chooses to do while exercising his own free will (which is another reason why 15x20 makes no sense).

So that bloody handprint, whoever came up with it on the day or if it was in the script (I can't remember which), that was a moment of pure genius because physically it helps pull this whole scene and Cas' story together even more. Cas is commanded to save Dean from Hell, leaves a burned-in handprint on his shoulder. Cas chooses to save Dean from Death (and himself), leaves his own bloody handprint on his shoulder.

As much as I hated Cas dying for the longest time and I didn't understand why Misha was so happy with that ending for his character (despite the parallels), I now get it. Cas' story had come full circle. He exercised the free will that he had not only earned but was given when he changed thanks to knowing Dean, way before Jack entered the picture. That's development, folks. And it was exemplified in the most beautiful way possible. He got to choose when to summon The Empty and why. He got to choose to save Dean one more time but this time of his own volition (though I would argue he may have chosen to save Dean's soul pre-4x01 despite the latter having started the apocalypse). But this scene from beginning to end is HIS choice. The circumstances and time pressure may be present but he could have tried to find another way to get them out of there or he could have lived (because I don't see how Billie could have killed him, he's an angel and The Empty purposely wanted him to be happy and then collect him so even if Billie got all stabby stabby, The Empty would have probably sent him back because it wouldn't be satisfied), but no. He made the choice to utilize this deal that Dean knew nothing about in order to save Dean once again.

And sure enough, in 15x19 we see:

Chuck is defeated. Dean had his free will all along (as did Sam). Jack is now the new God, which also brings another portion of Cas' story full circle and he helped to bring about. While Dean obviously misses Cas, he is able to stand on his own and make this decision himself without Heaven or Hell whispering into his ear or trying to affect the outcome. This is Dean Winchester exercising his free will (that he never really lost like he feared which is also important for the whole John/Chuck convo that we'll save for another time).

So for those who say Castiel wasn't an important character in the series or in relation to Dean (or Sam or Jack) or that the 15x18 scene was fanservice or pandering, you are incredibly wrong. Castiel proved to be instrumental in not only Dean's story line (as well as the other two) but also to the ending of the mythology altogether as well as the end of the series. The end of 15x19 looks like the exact way it's supposed to (minus them planning to break Cas out of The Empty & calling up Eileen & Jack still hanging with his fam = Winchesters 2.0 getting a better and more sensical ending that they had earned, especially in relation to Winchesters 1.0). The way Cas exited the story mirrored the way he entered, with a few slight differences. And like I said above, that's called development and it was illustrated in the most beautiful way possible while also giving one of the original members of Team Free Will the earned right to exercise theirs.

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 108

Point of No Return

“Point of No Return”

Plot Description: When Dean learns that the angels have decided they no longer need him, he joins with Sam and Castiel to take on Zachariah

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: I mean. Obviously not. Though, I can’t remember the last time I was in a bar, so maybe I’m saved from depressed angels drinking away their sorrows over getting fired only to get reinstated because I’m simply not there

I hate how often I can see where Dean’s coming from. He’s had to fight nearly his whole life and he’s tired and he’s been shown the opportunity to stop the apocalypse, save people, maybe be able to repent for the time he spent torturing in hell, and at the end it’s over? It’s not the worst option…especially since no one else is offering anything

Bobby’s only living for these boys 😭

It’s a good thing something happened to Cas or that tension would have never broken

I love when the angels physically fight because they all look like boring accountants in dark suits and then all of a sudden they’re doing hand to hand combat with a long dagger

But there’s something off putting about how outwardly unaffected Cas looks after killing his brothers

Real Adam is so much more interesting than the ghoul who pretended to be him last season or whatever. Turns out John sucked as a dad to all three of them. Bravo, asshole

The Destiel flirting in this, I swear

I don’t WANT to watch Dean wrestle with the fact that, after all this time and everything they’ve been through, he’s gonna have to do the thing John warned him he might have to: kill his little brother

That was RUDE, Dean. You shouldn’t trick and then banish your angel boyfriend

YES, CAS!!! I love angry and betrayed and bitter Castiel.

This does look a little like I’m watching a different kind of program but I promise he’s actually kicking the shit out of Dean

Lies of omission are still lies, Zachy. God I fuckin hate that guy

Sam’s so sure Dean won’t say yes to Michael. Even after Dean told him he doesn’t believe in Sam, Sam still believes in Dean.

*garbled screaming and crying* there is something about Cas NOT believing in Dean after their (very one sided) back alley brawl

Why DID he take off his tie though?

Oh. For that (carving the angel banishing sigil on his own chest to give Sam and Dean the opportunity to grab Adam. Sure. That’s a normal, sane thing to do)

Fuck. Dean is so cool. Him stalling saying yes to Michael til he could get Zachariah angry enough and close enough to stab him…literally laying here wide eyed and kicking my feet

The wing imprints when an angel dies always look so cool. Rest in fucking pieces, Zach

Oh no, Adam. This won’t be the last time you get left by them. I’m so sorry, kiddo

“Been On My Mind…”: nah. 6