#i swear they're getting dumber

[nickel156]

How are you this stupid? 😭 like, you are NOT the critical thinker you believe yourself to be with these assumptions and one-sided arguments. I have said absolutely nothing about my alleged undying love for rhysand. Meanwhile, you're clearly running some tamlin defense squad - which he is not interesting or redeemable enough as a character to warrant all that, but that's beside the point. You write a whole ass paragraph with talking points you pulled out of your ass, instead of my mouth. You're fighting opinions that i never even expressed lmaooo. You take yourself way too serious for someone who argues with imaginary adversaries. I peruse the acotar tags occasionally for fan art and I simply noticed that every tamlin stan I come across is incredibly disingenuous and hypocritical. Dassit. I don't even feel that strongly about him.

Oh, you’re still here? How cute.

Let me guess—you’re desperately trying to convince yourself (and me) that you’re not invested. Yet here you are, back again, writing full essays in my inbox. But sure, tell me more about how you “occasionally peruse the fandom for fan art” and don’t actually care about any of this. We both know if that were true, you wouldn’t be taking the time to engage with me at all, but hey, keep telling yourself whatever helps you sleep at night.

It’s honestly adorable how hard you’re trying to paint this as me fighting imaginary battles. I’m not the one dropping paragraphs in someone else’s inbox anonymously, pretending not to be affected. You’re clearly here for a reason, and it’s definitely not just for the fan art. It’s almost like you need to prove something, but the more you type, the more obvious it becomes that you’re really just pressed. It’s okay, we all have our moments.

As for Tamlin—whether he’s “redeemable” or “interesting” is entirely subjective, and guess what? I’m allowed to have an opinion that doesn’t align with your pre-approved list of acceptable character takes. Shocking, I know. But you’re still here trying to undermine my opinions while simultaneously pretending like you’re unbothered. Again, cute.

But seriously, thanks for the entertainment. I do love seeing how much effort people put into “not caring.”

[landograndprix]

「Feel the magic ๛ l.n」

part x

✧.* your fans will do anything to defend you and lando and while life keeps getting better, someone else is struggling.

✧.* been listening to Lover by Taylor way too much lately, its giving birdie and lando..do whatever you want with that 😅 this a psa for the people who wanted to be on my taglist but never got tagged, i didn't forget or ignore you, I simply am unable to tag you and therefore removed you from the list feel free to ask me again so I can take a look at it. Taglist is open Love ya ❤️

✧.* prev part - next part

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y/nusername

liked by riabish, maxfewtrell and 672,652 others

y/nusername dumb, dumb, dumber and the dumbest. ❤️

tagged: cecilemoulin, landonorris, maxfewtrell

view all 983 comments

hannahh cool..y'all looking for a fifth? Asking for a friend..

cecilemoulin ❤️

norrizz who's who though? 👀

landofoouurr milou punching air right now

norry4 why? They're literally double dating and milou isn't dating anyone..awkward fifth wheel she would be

bott_ass now I ain't good at math but they stopped hanging out after those pictures of Carlos and Y/n got leaked so I think we can figure out who's at fault here 💀

landoy/n my favorite comfort people 🥰

yourmumsuser cuties 🥰❤️🥰❤️

bobsnorris not mamma y/l/n adopting Cecile and Max as well 😭

maxfewtrell ❤️

landonorris ❤️

landoscar I want what they have, is that too much to ask?

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mclaren

liked by pierregasly, landonorris and 236,532 others

mclaren and another P1 for y/n! 🥇🏆

#miamigp

tagged: y/nusername

view all 456 comments

marcuskleim woman is on her way to win her 4th wdc

norrizz that's mah gal 🥰

bott_ass love seeing max getting his ass humbled 🥰

jonathan0 max fan here loved the battle between them!

maxmaxmax love how the friendship between max and y/n seems way better than before!

maxverstap good thing kelly wasn't there, that hug was real tight 😭

norry4 no but he was so happy he could fight against y/n again, like you can't convince me he enjoyed last season..

maxverstap pretty sure they told y/n to let him win before every race..😒

riabish that's my girl ❤️

norrislan why are you favouring y/n again?

landoscar I don't think mclaren knew Milou was going to drive straight into lando's rear but okay...

mrsnorris I don't like y/n but this is a reach, milou fucked up lando's race.

hamilt44n can we talk about how happy max is whenever y/n is on the podium with him 😭

norstappen they were teammates but they're friends now ☺

charlos16 y'all talking about the way max and y/n acted but refuse to see the interaction between Fernando and y/n?

yukisan exactly!!!

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landonorizzzz

liked by y/nusername and 547 others

landonorizzzz lando with a fan earlier this morning 🥵

norry4 call me an ambulance cause I just died dead 😭

norrizz @.y/nusername

landoscar @.y/nusername lucky girl 😭

bobsnorris @.y/nusername

bott_ass @.y/nusername

landonorizzzz not y'all tagging y/n and her liking my post 😭

y/nusername I see that he's managed to escape his cage and go out looking like this..

maxnorris absolute slut behaviour 🙄

mrsnorris oh my god 🥵

y/nusername y'all have his phone number? You think I have a chance?

landonorris that's me in that picture

hamilt44n shoot your shot girl 👀

y/nlandooo these two I swear 😭

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Feel the magic taglist: @celesteblack08 @mrsmaybank13 @cha-hot @judesgfirl @roseseraj @kissesandmartinis @jpg3 @amulhermaisfelizdomundo @marialovesf1 @silkenthusiasts @luvrrish @laneyspaulding19 @emily-b @formula1bby @buckybarnessweetheart @strawberrychita @iifloweringnightsii @buendiabebeta @babyvinnie @mishaandthebrits @hockeyboysarehot @ironmaiden1313 @justdreamersdream

Lando taglist: @beatricemiruna @simp-for-fictional-people @landossainz @christianpulisic10

Everything taglist; @thomaslefteyebrow @hopefulinlove @smoothopz @honethatty12 @cixrosie @parkersmjs @ireadthensuetheauthors @celestialams @be-your-coffee-pot @heli991113 @kodzuvk @reality-is-a-con @80sloverry @bibissparkles @myescapefromthislife @lanando4 @elliegrey2803 @ravisinghs-wife @minkyungseokie @harrysdimple05

[spadecentral]

NEW PHONE, WHO'S THIS? | MALLEUS DRACONIA x READER SMAU

GENRE! social media au; fluff; crack; semi-strangers-to-lovers SUMMARY! malleus draconia texts you randomly, mistaking you for lilia vanrouge. gaining a sudden interest in helping him fix his texting style, you decide to befriend him. but maybe things go a little farther than that. WARNINGS! swearing; CREATION DATE! april 22, 2023 STATUS! ongoing, temporarily paused

PLAYLIST! spotify

CHARACTERS! baWLing | Diasomnia.

ACT I: hey, i dont want what we had i. oldass man tbh ii. piss off, lilia iii. getting that bank ✩ iv. pp (peepaw pranking) v. hallway encounter ✩ vi. homework disaster vii. essay hell ✩ viii. passed ix. cover the basics

ACT II: when i got what i got x. tba

ACT III: they're so hot, dot dot... dot tba

TAGLIST! @shutupkida @moonlitnyx @ruggiethethuggie @booming-spam @yuainchi @l1vyatan @hollowedtime @oepionie @nthee @the-dumber-scaramouche @flmer @kociokwiksstuff @noidonothavetimeforthis @fluffimemes @dxmoness @ravenkake @lunavixia @yuyumaru @lordoftheshrooms @sxftiebee @yo4sblog @luvcalico @miniaturelunar @tsunotaro-san @cerisescherries @gothic-illustrations @sugarrush-blush @cinnamonrollscafe @lifeless-bug @artsycanongoer @pandora-ophelia-blog @frootloopscos @babygurlenthusiast

[yippeeometer]

teeny tiny little west hcs bc the ask box is empty :(((((

contrary to popular belief, it is in fact very possible to drive utah into a violent fit of rage. it happens roughly every 10 minutes when arizona is around his kids teaching them swear words and illegal activities

broke: the west hates cali because he's an arrogant dickhead. woke: the west hates cali because he cheats at monopoly and has eaten pieces in order to win

i think we should all show some support for nevada in this trying time. bc he sits next to dumb dumber dumbest & utah in meetings. and they're probably the only people capable of being released from prison for being too annoying

Washington runs their gc like the NAVY. he frequently gets into arguments with cali bc he wont let him be an admin on their whatsapp chat unironically nicknamed 'the girlies' (they are 200 y/o men)

the gc is carnage guys bc you know cali tries to start political arguments at 3am and everyone ignores him until Iowa says something so insanely wrong (e.g 'wait guys whos kamala? i thought it was pence') that they all come crawling out the woodwork to call him a dumbass. utah sends those minion boomer memes. nevada says the most insane tin-hat sentences and refuses to elaborate.

wyoming is not in the gc. he has a flip phone anyway. Washington calls it 'y2k' once and Wyoming refuses to come to meetings for 6 months to recover from second hand embarrassment

speaking of embarrassment the singular time Montana was involved in a debate (up against mass, i might add, the equivalent of a hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby) he was grilled on why the Montana sapphire is the only American jewel on the English crown jewels. the picture of his shell-shocked face was framed and placed in every room in the west side of the statehouse.

[angelsdean]

okay continuing my critique on 1x09 Home and how it just fell flat for me narratively, despite having a really good concept in theory, I have to talk about Missouri and her interactions with Dean. To be clear, this is NOT a knock on Missouri as a character, but about the writing choices made throughout the episode with how she speaks to Dean in juxtaposition to how she interacts with Sam.

First off, this is a Kripke episode so, all my criticism is directed at that man !!! So, throughout the whole episode they made the choice to have Missouri be harsher to Dean than Sam. There's a lot of this "teasing scolding" thing she does with him, which I probably wouldn't complain about this in any other circumstance because it's clearly supposed to function as comedic relief, but in this episode specifically it feels tonally off and misplaced. Like, they're coming back to their old house where something very traumatic happened. The episode should feel heavy for them (which, the fact that it doesn't is something I've talked abt already and my main critique). Dean is the one with actual memories of that night and that house and Missouri would know that and would know that it would be harder for him to face that house than Sam, so I really do not get Kripke's choice to write her treating Dean harsher than Sam in this ep.

Like almost every interaction w/ Dean is some kind of teasing or dismissing comment. And again, a lot of them are harmless and wouldn't even bother me IF it weren't this episode where it's clear this is supposed to be hard and traumatic for them (but Dean specifically!!) Like just starting off with the "you were a goofy looking kid" and "if you put your foot on my coffee table i'll whack you with a spoon" like…tonally these comments just feel out of place. The goofy looking kid one just doesn't make sense to me since John went to Missouri just days after the fire, and 4 yr old baby dean was not ? goofy looking ? That's the sort of comment you make when you're talking about the awkward pre-teen stage or something, imo. The foot on the coffee table comment just seems unnecessary to me and once again trying to go for that comedic relief angle but it just falls flat for me in the context of this ep.

And then this trend continues with saying Dean's not the sharpest tool in the shed (reinforcing this perception the narrative has of painting Dean as the "dumber one") Dismissing him using an EMF reader and saying it's "amateur", despite the fact that the EMF works perfectly fine and does, in fact, alert to the presence of spirits. Every time Dean asks questions or voices an objection Missouri dismisses him or explains things to Dean in a patronizing way and it's notable because she doesn't act this way with Sam at all. Then later, when the house is a mess from the poltergeist, Missouri tells Jenny the mom, not to worry about the mess because Dean will clean this all up, and snaps at him specifically to get to work.

And again, it just feels really weird and misplaced. And I'm fully directing my criticism at Kripke and asking WHY. What was the reason? It also feels like a lot of these interactions were playing into stereotypes of the "sassy" black woman which is just very :/ Like idk I'm just not sure what Krikpe's reasoning was for writing these interactions and for the clear juxtaposition in how Missouri interacts sympathetically toward Sam but dismissive toward Dean. Especially in an episode where I feel like it would have made the most sense to make Dean the POV character / central focus since he IS the one with memories and trauma of that house and that night.

I think the choice to make this the episode where they introduce Sam's psychic powers really took away from a lot of what the episode should have been about: going back home after the message of "you can never go home" and Dean swearing to himself he never would, and confronting that trauma and literally seeing their mother's ghost !! That should've been the focus IMO. Like they should've introduced Sam's visions in a different episode. Then had those visions take them to Lawrence, let the focus be on Dean, with Sam seeking help / guidance from Missouri on his visions as the side-plot. AND THEN, have Missouri continue to show up as a recurring character helping Sam with his psychic visions and also filling a Bobby-like role as someone they go to for cases / lore / information. Missouri says, "Don't you boys be strangers" at the end of the episode and then they don't see her again for over a decade !!!! Kripke, I am once again asking, WHY.

[hydrasra]

Strange encounter

SIDE STORY #1

SYNOPSIS: well, you certainly did not plan on meeting new yet familiar faces.

DISCLAIMER: those in bold could not be tagged. as usual, gn!reader. probably swearing and stuff here and there. also probably ooc. THESE SIDE STORIES ARE IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER. read 'NOT FROM THIS WORLD' serie first to better grasp what's going on if you're new :> the latest chapter [before hiatus] is HERE. ME POSTING THESE SIDE STORIES DOES NOT MEAN THAT I WILL BE POSTING AS OFTEN BUT I WILL BE POSTING WHEN I HAVE TIME/BEEN INSPIRED (same with the anecdotes)

TAGGING: [19/30] @bloop-booop @sunsethw4 @neverlandlostchild @ghostlysyntaxed @wolfe02 @valeriele3 @the-dumber-scaramouche @weirdducky17 @esthelily @shroombro @ayanokomu @bamboowritess @reblogs-of-sagau-content @bloopthebat @maybeyourcat @theblueblub @7smexy7diva @shimi-shimi @issy-lol

SHENANIGANS #1

SIDE STORY #2

"halt!" swan and lawrence both said at the same time, seeing an unknown duo approaching the gate of mondstadt.

beidou sighed, not wanting to deal with anything but to get to you and let you know of an impostor impersonating you on the throne the qixing made for you in liyue.

"state your name and the purpose of your visit, strange yet respectable travelers," swan said, back straight and arms behind his back.

kazuha looked at beidou and let out a chuckle at her annoyed face before he diverted his attention to the knights in front of him, "I , kazuha, am simply accompanying the captain of the crux, beidou," he gestured to the captain and beidou only nodded her head in greetings, "to mondstadt to visit the traveler."

upon hearing the word 'traveler', a look of recognition fell on both of the knights faces.

"ah! so you are friends with the honorary knight!" swan said, smiling.

"you should have started with that!" lawrence exclaimed with a chuckle, "please go on ahead. mondstadt welcomes you!"

kazuha threw a bewildered look at beidou who only looked back at him with the same expression as they both, slowly, walk in through the gates of the city.

"well, that was easy, wasn't it?" beidou said, standing at the gate with her hand on her hips and looking around.

"I oftentimes forget that the traveler is quite popular," kazuha mused with a chuckle.

beidou gave a nod at his words then focused back on the short man in front of her, "so, zuha, where to?"

the inazuman closed his eyes to better listen to the wind despite the lively atmosphere the city of freedom.

his eyes shot open mere seconds later, "they're–!"

"captain beidou? kazuha? what are you guys doing here?" paimon asked as she floated towards them.

kazuha's head turned towards her voice as he saw the traveler getting closer.

beidou turned to look at paimon and grinned, "hey there, paimon. how ya doin'?"

"pretty good, what about you guys?"

kazuha's heart was beating way too fast for his liking as his eyes darted everywhere as soon as lumine was close and greeted them.

where were you?

"kazuha? you okay there bud?" beidou asked, a brow raised at her friend who was looking around frantically.

"where's–"

for the second time that night, or morning seeing as the sun was already rising up in the sky, kazuha was interrupted by the sound of running and giggles, "lu! look at what flora gave me!"

and there you were, running towards them, well, specifically towards the traveler, with your arms holding a bouquet of cecilias... followed by a certain bard he knew of.

but his attention was solely on you.

and so was beidou's.

so, when you stopped in front of the blonde traveler, excitedly telling her how cute and adorable flora could be when she wanted to, instinctively, the liyuan and inazuman both bowed at you, feeling a tug and warmth settling in in their chests.

"morning, your grace."

as soon as venti was close enough, he threw an arm around kazuha after making him stand straight. lumine doing the same with beidou but throwing her arm around the crux's captain's waist instead.

"no need to bow in their presence, they hate that," paimon said as she floated next to you instead of lumine.

you stood there, staring at them and assessing whether they were sent by the millelith or they ventured on their way to find you on their own.

the question was, how did they find you?

as soon as that question crossed your mind, you were on your guard and lumine, being the observant friend of yours, quickly was at your side and hugging you, telling you, "these two are my trusted friends," she paused, pulling back to look at you in the eyes, "if they wanted to capture you to send you to the millelith, they would have done so the moment their eyes landed on you and not bow before you."

kazuha, at a loss for words, was quickly nodding along the traveler's words and reasoning. beidou was simply stuck staring at you, feeling in a daze.

lumine's words made sense to you and you relaxed.

"sorry, I'm kind of at war against liyue right now," you half joked but beidou tensed.

it was all thanks to the actions of her friend that you were now avoiding liyue, her home country.

but she understood.

"it's not really your fault anyway," she muttered then pursed her lips.

"what beidou means is that she understands and doesn't hold it against you," kazuha said, gently prying off venti's arm off of him.

then there was a few seconds of silence until a certain bard decided to break it.

"well wasn't that such a warm reunion? or should I say meeting?"

you rolled your eyes at his words, smiling, "shut up."

he lifted his hands up in the air in surrender then brought a hand up to his face before he put a finger on on his lips, showing that he would not talk.

you brought your attention back to lumine, "I don't know why she chose cecilias but she said something along the lines of 'they represent your gentleness' or whatever it's was."

paimon looked at venti who only shrugged with hand finger still on his lips. the floating being looked unimpressed.

"that aside," you looked at beidou then at kazuha, "what brought you two here?"

beidou leaned on kazuha, "this guy followed the direction of the wind."

he nodded, suddenly feeling bashful as pink adorned his cheeks, "I simply f-followed the winds directions..."

"so the wind can truly speak?" paimon asked, frowning.

meanwhile, next to kazuha stood the literal archon of anemo who gave her a 'duh?' stare.

lumine stared at paimon, "did you grow dumber?"

paimon gasped, appalled, "paimon grows smarter each day!"

"doubt," the word left your lips before you could even process it and paimon huffed then looked away with her arms crossed over her chest.

"so," you clapped your hands together once, "is there a reason why you guys showed up in mondstadt of all places?"

══ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══

ehe. don't mind me.

[dolloie]

assign your moots with their bias & a trope!! tell us why too 👀

im jst gonna tag my closest moots!! also i would love to have more friends, so don't be shy to hmu, im friendly guys i swear 💢

— @ftwonbin wonbin & enemies to lovers.

why'd you ask, qiqi is a maniac 🗣️ honestly yes i can see they're bickering and fighting at some point i don't even think this girl is capable of fighting with wonbin when she just a whore for him. but not the academic rivals cz i know this girl ain't good at school. they would get together at the end (i don't even know how!!) but i think this tropes suits you sm 🙏🏻

—@nqvgue ni-ki & friends to lovers.

MY LOVEE!! i can see these two idiots liking each other but they're was to obvilious!! all the misunderstanding and teasing, sometimes even flirting would lead to unexpected confession from riki, himself. definitely the definition of dumb and dumber, the storyline would go like riki got jealous at the sight of you talking to other guy instead of him (this is so cute 🙁) then suddenly confess bcz he can't stand it anymore <3

—@myizhuos wonbin & strangers to lovers.

my baee, i think this suits you sm bcs i just can see when wonbin came across you and immediately falls in love! like she really suits with strangers to lovers, since you have a good music taste 🤞🏻 both of them would probably have playlist for each other!! hear me, he would hums your favorite song to sleep 😵‍💫

—@cupidseok eunseok & soulmates

im absolutely adores this girl right here 😵‍💫 and i think this is the sweetest trope for you and yes! (i have no idea what im babbling) but anw both of them are hopelessly in love, her charm and her sweetness caught eunseok himself in love, girl i can imagine they'll be the sweetest couple omg!!! but anw, eunseok will try to learn anything abt you, and he'll be the happiest man after knowing that you 🫵🏻 are his soulmate.

[murkystarlight]

Screw it.

Dreamzzz season2 spoilers pt.1

(And my personal comments)

Alright. Starting from episode 1

I didn't realize that Cooper having a sudden interest in chips would be a hint to something later(it probably isn't but it seems like it to me). Cooper apperantly had a full list of things to fix and make... also the Night Bureau really can't do their job done properly can they. How does Cooper go to school? And study? And get good grades?? Also love how everyone names their cars

It was cool seeing Sneak working with them. And Nova, too bad they... uh- dissapear after like... episode 4? I think

Mateo trying to find a way to get z-blob back, and the Nightmare king... why is he such an icon all of a sudden?? Like-

Also, I like that how Mateo got the kid show treatment. Might as well sing 'we're all in this together'

And Dallas joining the knitting club!!

It was pretty nice. Just a simple small detail, but I like stuff like that so... Looks like he's not going to be bullying anyone now

It was very fun watching the crows(ravens? Don't remember) snatch their memories. When I saw what the memories that was stolen were about I started screaming like-

I actually think they all have a good reasoning. Logan always loved his music(would've been better if he forgot how to sing entirely) , Cooper... well he's the tech guy, and for Izzie, she was the who accepted the dream world the fastest. Who liked it the most in the first season right? There are more cool and amazing reasons than this but my stupid brain can't think of anything else right now

Episode 2

Apperantly there's a lava realm? Cool

Mr. Oz being angry, Logan being.. well, Logan. And Cooper is just adorable. He's having so much trouble. His purpose in life kinda snap

And when everyone else just jumps into the castle, Izzie takes her time to take the stairs

And Izzie having trouble with "dont open your mouth" she's so funnn

I had trouble understanding Astrid-

Royce guy has a weird whistle.

Cooper looks so happy until his mind went blank and his face is just- 'dude wait, what was I doing?' I thought he lost his tech skills?? Why did he become... dumber? It's cute though

"Sorry-" _ Izzie

Also, Logan said a lot of smart stuff in this episode. One of my favorites was

"If I forgot it, how would I know?"

Mr. Oz trying SO hard not to swear. I could see the struggle-

And the flash cards 😭 when did they get a rule book?!!(first ep)

Also, how many eggs do you think Cooper cracked. How does he not remember how to not but a bolt and screw together?? Just- stick it in! Learn to do it again? Poor thing

And the Night Hunter! +Susan and Snivel. They're a bunch of sillies

Cooper getting pressured by his family again- (is it just me or does he get his character development after like... two episodes and be the one stable guy holding the team together? He's useful. Like actually useful) Cooper's voice also wouldn't stop cracking

"Do you ever get sand in your eyes? Or your shorts?" (The Sandman had legs?? Yes, had. He... he gone now.)

Also kinda funny how all of Mateo's dreamcrafting gets blob-ified

"The one time! I actually want to hear your beats, and you forget?!"

Zoey! Why would you randomly jump into a cauldron!! (Also, the Night Hunters memory being Zoey- I already had a feel)

Mrs Castillo is the best

I'm also very curious of... what or who the Never Witch is??

There is a lot of pushing and shoving people. And it's only the second episode

Also-

"So you're not the tech genius you used to be. You still got- ....uh.... what other talents do you have?"

Oh godddd noooooooooooo he said it- Oh god........

"I'm gonna go drown my troubles in the candy realm" (kids. Too much sugar isn't good for you)

(He can't even figure out how to put his phone on silent anymore) he got an A+ in a science project, by cooking?? I thought it was a SCIENCE PROGECT??

Imagine a kid suddenly pulling out an apron and asking for a kitchen to work in. During a science project (he's a chef now), he also just... kept the flan? Thing, in his locker-.... is that... okay?

I mean... I did watch this science show on Netflix about these super smart girls and their names being mc². And one of them bakes. Using science. I mean... science works in everything... and I guess if the teachers said okay then its.. okay?

Sandman and Never Witch fighting, he will be remembered. It was pretty cool actually. I wonder if they have any history

Next part

Bonus(also the reason of why I said screw it)

[realpokemon]

DUUUUDE I swear to GOD i'm going to fucking beat the shit out of one of these kids - ok so my partner pokemon's a baltoy and like. i take him outside and shit because i like the sun and some fucking kid comes up with his fucking squirtle and starts trying to WATER GUN MY BOY???? like i shit you not i fucking ran over there and started yelling at this kid and he thought it was SOOOOOOOOOOO fucking funny. what the shit is wrong with teenagers

god this generation of trainers is really something. apparently on tickitocky theres this new trend going around where they're doing "BATTLE TRICKSHOTS" where they have battles in the most precarious places possible (inside houses, in th emiddle of the road, Vertically up apartment buildings while holding their pokemon midair). they only get cockier and dumber

[nickel156]

Elriels are driving me crazy!!

This one on insta is trying to tell me

This quote:

How Gwyn's teal eyes might light upon seeing the necklace. For whatever reason... he could see it.

But Azriel tucked away the thought, consciously erasing the slight smile it brought to his face. Buried the image down deep, where it glowed quietly.

A thing of secret, lovely beauty.

Wasn't Azriel thinking the image of Gwyn was a thing of secret lovely beauty..

BITCH ARE YOU BLIND!!!??

(Harsh, but needed to be said)

I stopped responding, because I can't have a conversation with someone who's clearly illiterate.

[skepticalarrie]

https://www.tumblr.com/skepticalarrie/745039381805563904/on-x-today-there-was-this-twitt-as-answer-to

Everybody has said today that people don’t know where the other entrance is at this place, so how did people magical find it together with paps? Sorry but this screams gf shipper who try to make people believe in her by saying “I’m a Larrie”

So anybody have the link to the original tweet? Haven’t been able to find it

That anon probably wrote that themselves. People who usually send tweets like that usually do it to try and disprove Larry or whatever. I swear, they're getting dumber by the day.

[urlocallesbiab]

ok folks, inspired by This Post (thank you for inspiration and ideas, @agent-p-94/@generalized-incompetence!), i present to you:

brotzly fake dating couple's therapy au; in the form of tumblr messages/a campfire story/an unwitten fic rundown

me: the thing is, they'd PASS

within 10 minutes of knowing each other they'd get so PISSED OFF it'd fill up an entire therapy session

just "YOU NEVER SHUT UP" and "YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME" and "I'VE NEVER MET A DUMBER PERSON" and "I'M SICK TO DEATH OF YOU CRITIQUING MY MUSIC TASTE" and "YOUR DRIVING SKILLS ARE GOING TO GET US KILLED I SWEAR TO GOD" nonstop rapid-fire with therapist barely able to squeeze a "gentlemen, please!" inbetween

and then they'd stumble out of the building and LAUGH, laugh so hard they'd be clinging to each other near falling to the ground, todd croaking that this is the best stress-release activity he'd done in YEARS, dirk clutching his stomach and crying and highlighting the best of todd insults

both would admit this is the BEST first date ever and schedule the next therapy session

every time they'd spend like 10-30 minutes getting to know each other better, and then full 45 just kvetching, sometimes just YELLING at the top of their lungs to their hearts' delight at the therapist office

agent: The best of Todd insults!!! Omg

They just argue nonstop anyway it's just a space to do that

me: and one day dirk would bring in rings, just plain metal ones (but no one has to know), justify that well, if this is a marriage ruse we might as well up our game, right? but he'd be weirdly skittish and self-conscious about it, like he's overstepping an invisible boundary; but todd would be *down* for it — he would be down for most of dirk's stupid bullshit, it's been so long since he's done any proper good shenanigans, since his life was even half this fun!

and then he'd try on the ring and laugh again because it *doesn't fit*, and dirk would get half-jokingly defensive that he didn't know his size!!, and todd would let him take the measuremnts (bc for what purpose would he know his own ring finger size), and dirk's breath would catch holy and uncomfortably

next time, dirk would get him a good, fitting ring, and it'd make weird things shift in his stomach

agent: OR it would be the RIGHT size, holistically

And he's like well I have to wear it now

And maybe they actually stumble upon something real in the middle of it - Dirk is going full monologue about the dishwasher and he says something and todd stops yelling back and looks unusually affected and is like wait...really? And then they just stare at each other for a minute and Todd is like ...I never knew that. And then they stare some more. And then the therapist is like ummm our time is up? I'm just gonna... Go? And then they're really quiet on the drive home but the next morning they have a new understanding

me: DIRK LETTING HIS TRAUMA PEEK THROUGH AND TODD ACCEPTING IT WHOLEHEARTEDLY

it's silent the whole ride, but just before he drops dirk off (dirk had been BANNED from the wheel since their first date/session) he goes "so, this..... [dryly, as not to disturb, sums up dirk's thing] it's real?"

dirk, usually so talkative, just helplessly shrugs, then shakes his head at himself, then somberly nods a few times, confirming that yes.

todd puts a hand on his knee and goes "dude. this is messed up. i'm so sorry."

dirk just nods some more, tearing up, because even though the words are simple, he's never heard anyone say them, never dared to share, and it hits him so deeply and painfully to be finally validated

he stumbles home, and cries for the whole evening, and feels lighter than usual afterwards

agent: The tragicomedy of falling in love with your own husband...........

me: i think for WORST results they agree it's just a fun platonic thing for shits and giggles before they meet up for the first time

and like, in the therapist's office they're this TERRIBLE couple who HATES each other, and outside of it they're just two guys being dudes, and romance, even fake, exists only in glimpses and doorways, and when the pit of longing opens, there's utterly nothing to stuff in it but stolen glances.

farah is the same therapist's normal patient with actual mental health issues she's trying to work through, and when they meet her in the waiting lobby for the first time they UTTERLY FAIL to convince her that their shtick is real, so they resort to *begging* her not to sell them out, and even though she's really on the fence about the whole thing and is unsure if it's morally okay to do, she gives in to dirk's Professional Puppy Eyes

after a while she gets unashamedly invested and demands they fill her in on the newest lies

maybe in one of dirk's bluffs/"attempts to hone the backstory" he invites himself to todd's apartment to better learn his habits and where he lacks in his homesteading

("well, when do i get to learn what chores do *you* fuck up?" todd asks playfully

"oh, just all of them!" dirk answers nonchalantly

in truth, he just doesn't want todd to see his barely lived-in, depressinly dirty short-term rented apartment. in the time dirk's been here, this city hasn't started feeling any more like a home.

in truth, dirk posted that stupid craigslist ad on his first week here, drunk and lonely and in mood for hijinks and out of his mind desperate for human connection; todd was actually looking for some simple one-off jobs to earn some quick buck, but couldn't resist a Stupid Idea when it dangled itself in his face)

todd gives him a quick tour, dirk half-heartedly criticizes the 3 dirty dishes in the sink and the mildly overflowing laundry hamper, and then for most of the evening they drink beer and play card games with todd's trusty ratty 10 years old deck that misses a jocker and a two of hearts (they decide to forgo the twos altogether) but overall is fine, dirk teaches him a couple of weird local games he'd picked up over the years, then tries to do card tricks but gets half of them wrong, they laugh a lot, todd makes grilled cheese, dirk says that if they ever feel the need to add a dash of appreciation into their sessions — just for some contrast and zest — then he'll admit that he *adores* todd's cooking, todd smiles bashfully and says man that's just some grilled cheese it's not that big of a deal

they pass out on the couch together, and dirk wakes up with a sore neck, sour mouth, and entangled limbs, and feels so at peace and right, and doesn't move, wishes for todd to sleep for longer, just so they could stay like this

then they find out todd doesnt have a spare toothbrush, so dirk has to make do with some gum while todd apologizes profusely

todd's got a shift in the late morning, so they do an awkward half-hug with back-patting, and dirk leaves

when dirk's getting himself a late breakfast at the corner store, he almost buys himself a toothbrush to keep in todd's apartment; then discards the thought; then buys it anyway, but tells himself it's a spare one for his own home, for when he'll need to throw the old one out. he never brings up the toothbrush thing around todd.

also he thinks it's a shame he couldn't brush his teeth, because then he could've kissed todd without worrying about bad breath; he discards that thought even quicker and farther

during one of the sessions, todd accidentaly makes a comment that actually gets to dirk, that makes him feel self-conscious and inadequate and upset

after they've done for the day, dirk asks if this is how todd *really* feels about him?.. todd says no, of course not! all of this is in good fun, just a friendly yelling match. he'd never say *anything* with an actual intention to hurt dirk; now that dirk brought that comment up, todd's never going to repeat it

"you seem like a good guy, you know? i genuinely like you," todd says

dirk feels very very warm

and maybe they sometimes spend time after the sessions too, and sometimes even on free days, just hanging out, relaxed and having fun, enjoying the company

and maybe one day it goes a little too well, and dirk gets a little too brave, and admits to todd that he's started feeling some kind of romantic interest, and asks if he would maybe like an actual date some other time

todd snaps at him.

tells dirk that he's only seen glimpses of todd, that these joke-sessions and little hang-outs show almost nothing of the real him, that he's a *mess*, that dirk doesn't know what he's getting himself into and should back off, that todd's a horrible person who's not worth the trouble

dirk tries to get to him, but todd gets even more defensive, even more closed off, pushes him away, makes that awful painful comment he'd promised he wouldn't say.

they don't show up for the next session.

dirk mops by the building on the scheduled day anyway, because he dislikes his routines disrupted when it's not him doing that, and because he's got nowhere to go, and because he secretly hopes todd will come around anyway (he doesn't.)

he meets farah after her actual session: she's had a Bad one today and is distraught, and dirk suggests they get hammered together. farah thinks it's an unhealthy coping mechanism, but after all of 15 seconds of deliberating she agrees

then she cries into his shoulder about her family and expectations and failed police exams and that she's a *failure* and will never get better, and he shakes her by the shoulders and near-yells that she's AMAZING, and fuck her family, and all cops are bastards anyway! she gets affronted and mentions her brothers and father, then realizes those people Are fucking bastards, then laughs and agrees with dirk and cries some more

dirk spills his entire conundrum, start to finish, only 5 useless tangents for the length of the whole thing which is not too bad of a ratio by his own measures, and farah tells him that todd's bullshit is Bullshit, capital B! if therapy taught her *anything* is that any person is capable of change ("you don't need to change yourself though," dirk pipes up; "YEAH, IM FUCKING PERFECT!" farah answers triumphantly), that this is just stupid excuses for excuses! (yeah!) and if dirk thinks that *farah*, with All her failures and fuck-ups, is not a lost cause (of course not!), then neither is todd! (damn, you're making a point!)

they swap some more personal stories, farah almost has a lesbian crisis in front of him but decides to throw up instead, and they leave the bar mostly in good spirits

dirk sleeps all of it off, but the next morning, even though Severely Hangover, he is no less determined.

he stakes out todd's apartment building (he did drop him off the first time; and even though he doesn't remember the adress for shit after all this time, he Luckes Out [after stubbornly cruising the general area for two hours straight])

and confronts him. tells todd that their friendship has been meaningful for dirk, no matter how little todd might think of it. (todd winces. he doesn't say it, but all of this was close to his heart too; he never meant to come off like he did, save for coming clean as an asshole; he *does* care about dirk, rather unreasonably much.) that dirk doesn't ask todd to give *him* a chance, but give *himself* a chance. that no person is irredeemable.

todd is eerily quiet. he invites dirk in, makes him some tea. sits silently at the table for a few minutes. and then, it all spills out: what he'd done to his band, to his *sister*, to himself; what a true actual hopeless horrible Asshole he is. he gets almost angry halfway through, voice rising, — either at dirk or at himself, it's not clear. dirk sits it all out. tells todd that is isn't the worst it could've been. todd begins to snap at him, but bites his mouth, and just buries his head in his arms, hiding. his head is so very heavy. dirk gives him a small solemn lecture about how past perfomance is not a predictor of future results, how it's never late to just *stop* being an asshole. how he's dirk's friend, how he's been kind to him, and dirk trusts him to continue to be kind, to build his life forward. ("*kind* to you? after i'd said that [hurtful thing] — the second time, *deliberately?" todd is bitter and baffled. "i forgive you for it. that's what friends do." dirk says like it's obvious). dirk places his trust in todd. todd struggles to process all that, he just lies on the table neither crying nor breathing; dirk talks to fill up the space, and to make good use of his trust. he tells todd all about his childhood trauma, in great, visceral detail, like he's pulling his guts out; he starts crying halfway through. todd hugs him really, really hard, and doesn’t let go for a while.

todd promises he'll come clean to amanda. dirk promises he'll start looking into therapy for his cptsd. they promise to each other they're friends, best friends.

they come in for the last fake-session with that therapist, just to tie a pretty bow on this whole thing: to tell them they're finally getting divorced, and will not require their services anymore. poor person breaks with an actual heavy sigh of *relief*.

dirk starts seeing a new therapist — not this one, thankfully; farah recommends him an old one she used to work with. she couldn't quite find a good rhythm with him, but she thinks he might be a nice match for dirk. he ends up being exactly that.

todd isn't yet ready for therapy, and dirk is accepting of that. amanda's not talking to him anymore, and he's *not* taking it in stride, but he's holding up as best as he can, and dirk holds his hand through it.

they do have an Actual Date with Romantic Intenstions — it goes remarkably well, even though they bicker for half the duration of it. it's all in good fun <3

they don't wear the rings anymore, but keep them as a memento; both feel weirdly sentimental about them. dirk does finally buy a new toothbrush for himself to keep in todd's apartment.

farah does end up having a lesbian crisis in front of her therapist, the one that todd and dirk have been torturing. poor soul.

[lambergeier]

from thirty years and change, for the dvd commentary ask meme :D I loved this bit so much it stuck with me for years

“This is where he’s been going, Iwa-chan! He’s been running around getting some! You were right! How dare you!”

Hajime thinks he’s wrong. He thinks this is the first time Hinata and Kageyama have ever kissed. They look scared, and like they’ve achieved something. Hinata is talking now, or maybe laughing something into Kageyama’s chest. Hajime doesn’t want to see this. His mouth feels dry, too small for his tongue.

“Ohhh, he’s going to hate me,” Oikawa grins, and Hajime snaps back to attention.

“You piece of shit,” Hajime starts, latching a hand to the back of Oikawa’s shirt, “I swear to god if you—”

“Tooooooobio-chaaaaaaaan, how could youuuuuuu—oh my god he’s so mad. Iwa-chan, he’s so mad.”

“Fucker, run,” Hajime hisses, dragging Oikawa into the crowd as Kageyama and Hinata’s shocked, reddening faces vanish behind a gaggle of Indonesians and Oikawa’s delighted laughter carries them up and into the Village. The crowd swallows them happily, Oikawa grabbing up Hajime’s hand to tow them around a knot of drunken basketball players and Hajime lets him, holding tight to Oikawa’s palm, breathing shakily through his mouth.

OKAY ANSWERING THIS LIKE TEN DAYS LATER!! THANK U FOR PARTICIPATING IN THE MEME VERY SORRY.

okay i'm going to be so real. i am do not have SO much to say about this sequence bc this sequence serves a very simple purpose, which is to hit iwaizumi with a bat called "u can just be in love with ur best friend you stupid motherfucker." like if hinata and kageyama can simply understand that they have feelings for each other and then act upon those feelings, then wtf are you doing my guy!! they're dumber than sand!! and because iwaizumi is sadly forced to acknowledge that the Sand Guys are able to just get it out of their systems, perhaps he must also......? [rest of fic happens]

very simple mirroring, but mirroring is literally just always good, so no need to make it overly complex! okay, some line by line stuff:

“This is where he’s been going, Iwa-chan! He’s been running around getting some! You were right! How dare you!”

Oikawa is able to just make normal jokes about this because he already knows he's in love with his best friend, and can literally just know he's pathetic and get on with his life (aggravating kageyama)

Hajime thinks he’s wrong. He thinks this is the first time Hinata and Kageyama have ever kissed. They look scared, and like they’ve achieved something. Hinata is talking now, or maybe laughing something into Kageyama’s chest. Hajime doesn’t want to see this. His mouth feels dry, too small for his tongue.

project harder bitch

“Ohhh, he’s going to hate me,” Oikawa grins, and Hajime snaps back to attention.

“You piece of shit,” Hajime starts, latching a hand to the back of Oikawa’s shirt, “I swear to god if you—”

“Tooooooobio-chaaaaaaaan, how could youuuuuuu—oh my god he’s so mad. Iwa-chan, he’s so mad.”

what's that one post about establishing dominance over your cat by picking him up and just putting him places. no reason, no explanation, you're just in the living room now little brother. deal with it. oikawa is at all times, spiritually and emotionally, trying to do this to kageyama

“Fucker, run,” Hajime hisses, dragging Oikawa into the crowd as Kageyama and Hinata’s shocked, reddening faces vanish behind a gaggle of Indonesians and Oikawa’s delighted laughter carries them up and into the Village. The crowd swallows them happily, Oikawa grabbing up Hajime’s hand to tow them around a knot of drunken basketball players and Hajime lets him, holding tight to Oikawa’s palm, breathing shakily through his mouth.

first kiss was always going to be in the olympic village bc everyone fucks nasty in the olympic village!!

i'll do more of these if anyone's got them, sorry in advance about what may happen with response times!!

[enha-hype]

maeumi & me - ch 27 : MIA

a/n : heeseung and 02z chats are from jay's pov. used voicenotes to save space and effort cuz anyway they're just explaining what we already know. if you need a lil recap click on prev↓

but guess who else has been MIA 🤡 where is the dumb jay to my dumber won? 😞 anyway, leave a comment y'all how are we feeling??

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» synopsis : maeumi, your maltese pup, has been a huge part of your life ever since you first adopted him a few years ago. but little did you imagine that getting accepted into your dream university would mean having to leave him behind. heartbroken, you whine and lament to your friends about how unfair the situation is. whilst half-heartedly looking up foster homes maeumi could temporarily stay in, you're surprised when yang jungwon - a former schoolmate you'd hardly ever spoken to before - offers to take him in.

» pairing : yang jungwon x gn! reader

» genre : college au, social media au, pet parents au, fluff, strangers (kind of?) to friends to lovers, humour, a lil bit of angst

» warnings : swearing, jokes about death/suicide (kms/kys etc), mentions of pet injury

disclaimer : this is purely a work of fiction made for entertainment purposes only!

tag list : open [comment or send an ask to be added <3] @hiqhkey @i-yeseo @harperwasstaken1 @tomorrowbymoa-together @eloelooo @yjwluvr @rshmra @cholexc

[millermenapologist]

my absolutely useless (and unrequited) commentary of HotD ep. 3

i really like this new opening a lot more than season 1's. it makes more sense thematically too

oh, i love a good dispute for soil!

whoop. that was over quick

listen... maybe i'm evil, but it was clear from the get-go that the "i'm gonna pretend to be my twin brother" plot was not gonna go anywhere, and that dumb and dumber over there are two absolute fools for ever believing it would (otto isn't dead yet, but he's already rolling in his grave)

i can't believe that they took "sir incel" away from us, goddammit. and did he always have that ugly ass necklace on his armor???

god, how i miss d&d's writing of political scenes... the two fucks were idiots, but, god, were they talented

alicent is coming to the terrible realization that maybe, just maybe, she should've let the sleeping dogs lie and let rhaenyra be queen

ok, i have seen so many people complain about the costumes being too simple, but... to me, at least in this season, they make perfect sense? like, they're at war, they have to spare resources, and that means on clothes too

simon strong was r-e-a-d-y to spill the family tea

who the fuck told criston that part of getting ready for battle was getting a jamie lee curtis haircut??

i know that the series is not historical-historical, but considering context, i hate with a burning passion the fact that they're making rhaela go the "i want to stay here and fight!" route. no, she doesn't, because she was raised to believe that her place at court would be to be a princess and help with the babes, not go to war. she's aware of her duties

LARYS STRONG YOU ARE NOT HALF THE MAN LORD PETYR BAELISH WAS

i can't with aemond's wig. why is it so flat. who is out there flat-ironing his hair three times a day to ensure he doesn't get any frizzy hair

ok, listen... i get that both sides of the fight have dragons. however, the greens have vhagar. vhagar is 150 meters long. she's gonna eat all of you guys, dragons or not

... the small folk wouldn't have recognized rhaenyra because they'd have no idea of what she looks like, not even if she had never left the palace, simply because they wouldn't have had any possible way to see her from this up close ever. our ability to know the faces of all politicians, popes, royalties is very modern, reason why their faces were depicted on coins

see, this is the shit that happens when you name all the people in your family with the same name

this family is made of idiots, i swear. this is why humanity stopped committing incest.

[klarolineashur1919]

Only We Matter Series

Part 11

January 5,1926

River of Memories

Luca pov

"There's been an accident" I remember this bridge. This river.

"Why don't you move it out of the way?" I say not very politely. I remember me and her here.

"What?" I swear british cops are worse than American ones. They're dumber for one.

"I said, why don't you clear it so that we can get past." I try to say more politely this time. Why did we have to get stuck here? I grind my teeth to smile at this stupid cop.

"What's that accent?" I try to muster up all the patience I could for an answer....I know I was going to need it.

"We're Americans. We're here on business, so..."I think this is me nicely trying to tell him to hurry up but he doesn't look happy.

"Well, you're going to have to wait." I bite my tongue and try to control my seething. I don't want to be here..It brings back memories.

"Jesus Christ, this guy." I stared at the river. I remember when I came here with her in the summer of 1921. She said gypsies would use this river. We didn't have proper swim clothes with her is a chaste shift dress and me stripping down to my boxers. I remember how she blushed and ran away from me to the water. I wondered if I would ever see her blush again.

"We waited for you fucking Yanks until 1918. It'll be clear in 20 minutes, all right?" Thinking of her calmed me. I remembered when she went into the water it was the first time I saw a different type of look in her. She was always happy, innocent and sweet. But when we swam, I saw how she looked at the water with a out of place sadden expression. "Pen what's wrong?" I cupped her cheek and she blushed into my hand smiling. "Nothing" she said trying to keep a safe distance between us at the time. "Pen" I pulled her closer and she looked at me questioningly. She knew I wasn't going to let her go till she told me. "It's quite depressing" She said trying to brush me off but I wasn't letting go. "Tell me" I pulled her into a hug. She looked at me nervously, it was rare we were like that then. "My mother drowned when I was little, I watched her drown...I haven't really been in the water since" I didn't want to remember those kind of things about the Shelbys. But the look on her face then, was the one she had now and it didn't seem out of place. It killed me. I didn't want to think about it.

"Yeah, all right. Thank you, Officer. Thank fucking hell." I said angerily. I didnt want to remember what she used to be. I had to remember why I was here. My Vendetta.

"1918 What the fuck is he talking about?" Matteo said confused in Italian.

"Talking about the war. Everything here is about the war." This river Pen told me everything , her mother, her father, about what happened to her brothers in the war and how she studied psychology in university to have helped them. I fell in love with her more here.

"Luca if I may be so bold.." He wouldn't dare. I gave a look would give off the expression to anyone else not to finish their sentence but Matteo wasn't that bright "how do you know the Shelby girl" I looked back out of the window picturing me and her in the water. Her smile.

"My mother taught her years ago...She liked her a lot. She ended up working for the family as a seamstress. .We met and we got close...It went on for years and the year I finally proposed..Her brother started the war with my father" I didn't even look for a reaction as I told him. There was a moment of silence and I already lost all patience I had.

"Right, come on, let's go move it ourselves. Fucking idiots." I get out of the car and I realize what is blocking the road.

"What's this? Whose wagon is that?" Matteo says going right up to the cop.

"They're Gypsies. A tribe of fucking Gypsies." I start to still and remember Penelope's words from years go. "Gypsies use this bridge all the time, well the river at least to smuggle or other things."

"Well, we can move it..." Matteo tries to get past the cop but is pushed back. "Oi! I said it'll be clear in 20 minutes." I heard a voice in my head. Her voice "I need you Luca..I need you alive." We need to get out of here.

"Let's go. We'll find another way out of here." I make my way back to the car and Matteo Follows.

"Go. Get us the fuck out of here." I kept hearing her voice, her ramblings before we parted last.

"Tommy will find a way to kill you Luca anywhere you least expect it" she said pleadingly to take heed to her words.

"Come on, fucking move! Make a fucking move!" Her voice won't leave my fucking head.

Her voice was a warning.

"Please Luca stay cautious..Stay safe" She cried.

Then the gunfire started and I ducked.

I got out of the car and started shooting.

I shot and I prayed silently I would hit one of those gypsy fucks.

I prayed silently I would make it out and see my love again.