#i swear as soon i can find the building where i can change my name it is happening

[prentissluvr]

sorry won't cut it (rewrite) — sam and dean winchester

cw : gn!winchester!reader, angst, hurt/comfort, barely different from the original but slightly adjusted to fix some canon details i got wrong and adjust to my changed perspective of the whole purgatory situation, sam and dean did reader wrong, swearing, arguments, crying, nicknames (kid, kiddo, honey, sweetheart), 4.1K words.

summary : since dean disappeared, sam has been distant. when he calls you and you find out dean's back, you also find out that both of your older brother's have been lying to you.

MOVED BLOGS TO @sammyluvr !! no longer active on this blog! all fics can be found there!

when sam answers your call, it comes as a relief. a surprise, but more than anything, a relief. it’s been two and a half months, almost on the dot, since he’s answered a call. usually it’s just one month. he has a single burner phone just for you, but it’s off half the time, and the other half he never answers.

you’ve grown used to his distance, to an extent. it still stings when your phone rings till voicemail sometimes, but you’ve just been too tired to argue with him, to ask him to comfort you, make him keep hashing through the pain of looking for dean and finding nothing but trouble. 

you want him to have the normalcy, the girl who loves him and makes him feel alright. you want to have faith that he’ll figure out how to factor you into it all eventually, but you still miss him, and you’re still lonely, so you keep calling, never getting angry or upset when he occasionally picks up. you just act like it’s normal, and you can tell he appreciates it, so you keep it up. in return, he asks you over sometimes, tells you each time how much amelia raves about you after you leave, and hugs you tight before you go.

it’s been several months since he’s invited you over, and he doesn’t really talk about her anymore. you figure something must have happened, but you never push anything anymore with him.

this call is different. one, because he finally picks up. two, because he tells you to meet up with him, no explanation or normal talk about what you should bring for dinner. three, he asks you to meet at a random address in kansas.

he sighs deep, “just… get here as soon as you can. i’ll send you the location.” then he hangs up and it feels like the hunting life all over again.

⟢

it’s a seven hour drive, and you’re tired out of your mind, high-strung and worn out from leaving right after your shift at a diner full of sleezes who don’t tip enough. even though this whole thing is strange for the new, hunting-free sam, there’s relief coursing through you at the thought of seeing him, hoping he’ll let your tired feet carry you right into his arms. you pull into a driveway of sorts, no obvious entrance to the unremarkable building in front of you, but your years of hunting and meeting up with your brothers at strange places during strange hours after strange calls help you find the door. it's a bunker, one you've never seen before.

you were always a little bit more like sam, disillusioned to the hunter life and the way your father raised you. you weren’t a fighter like him, but you slipped away at eighteen to go to college and found somewhere near stanford so you’d be able to visit sam often. he loved that, always so glad that you got out too. but you were barely gone a year before dean came back to collect you and sam to look for your dad. you came easier than sam, less attached to your new place and always finding yourself missing dean.

that’s what you’d been doing this past year. missing dean, and painfully. so when you knock on the door, calling out, “it’s me, sammy,” you freeze when it opens several beats later.

because the person behind the door isn’t sam. but it is your older brother. just the one who’s been who knows where and presumed dead, for the last year or so. the one you’ve endlessly searched for to no avail.

“dean?” your voice is small as his name slips from your mouth.

his eyes go soft, the way they rarely get, and the slight smile on his lips is half pained, half pure relief to see you after so long. “hey, kid.”

you launch yourself into his arms, and he catches you easily, right there in the doorway, and you have to fend off tears that you know wouldn’t put up so much of a fight if you weren’t so exhausted. but you were raised tough, and winchesters don’t cry all that often, at least not where someone else can see. so you swallow hard and tough it out, letting dean pull away from you and lead you inside. he moves through the house with a sort of ease he’d only have if he felt comfortable and safe there. this raises questions, along with the fact that he's here at all.

you’re speechless, but not for a lack of anything to say. endless questions stream through your mind, each one pushing to be asked, even more desperate to be answered.

but the only thing you can figure out how to say is “hi” to sam when he greets you in the living room. he pulls you into a hug, letting you linger for a moment before you know you have to ask all of the hard questions. something in his face is unreadable to you, which is rare when it comes to your brothers. if you didn’t know any better, you’d think it was a hint of guilt. that rings alarms in your mind, but you brush your nerves aside when dean takes a seat on the couch.

you relax a bit when you sink down next to him, curling into his side a little. it makes you feel a bit childish, but you need it after everything this past year. he doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arm around your shoulders and pull you a little closer. sam sits down across from the two of you and you heave a sigh, wondering where to start.

opening your mouth and forcing words out is like a crack in a dam. everything comes out slow at first, but that lasts mere seconds before the flood.

“where… dean, where were you? i mean, i tried– i tried everything, i looked everywhere,” your voice breaks at that word, the weight of it meaning something only you understand. you look at him, brows taught and you’re confused by the surprise on his face, as if he didn’t expect you to say such a thing.

“what do you mean, you tried everything?” he asks, voice suddenly gruff and severe. you recoil from his side to get a better look at him. you don’t miss the look he shoots sam. this is already departing from what you expected, which is probably exactly what you should have expected, given your brothers. it’s just that, when dean hugged you back and he was solid and real and alive, when he sat on the couch instead of a chair so you could sit next to him, you thought that maybe, just maybe, you’d be able to stay tucked safe into his side as they told you what happened, as they asked you to stay with them. 

“what do you mean?” you shoot back. “what, did you think i’d just kick back and call it someone else’s problem?”

“that’s what sam did. that’s what sam said you did.” his voice is accusatory and when you whirl to look at sam, utter bewilderment evident on your face, you can see him physically grimace. which means dean’s telling the truth.

“sam did what?” the question sounds like it’s targeted for dean, but you’re staring the younger down.

“listen, i– i’ll explain it to you later. what do you mean you did everything, you said you were going to school?” sam looks irked and defeated all at once.

“that is completely beside the point, sam, you lied to me?” you ask, voice tired and bordering on distressed, “but you’re not going to explain to me why? why you lied to me or why you apparently didn’t look for dean, i mean what– what’s up with that?” dean’s hand on your shoulder prevents you from standing as your voice grows strained.

“listen, kid, sam and i, we’ve already hashed this out, okay? it’s uh– it’s fine, alright?” with the way he says the word “fine”, you know that it still bothers dean, so you can’t understand why he’d say so. “we’ve got things to discuss here,” dean tries to reason with you before sam can respond. he’s no peace maker, but a full blown fight between the two of you could have an ugly ending.

“things to discuss?” you repeat, in disbelief of the audacity. knowing them, that means they need something from you, which begs the question of why sam asked you over in the first place. you don’t even want to think about them having ulterior motives outside ofjust wanting to see you, so you brush it off angrily. 

“well, i’m glad to hear that you two have hashed it out, but i haven’t yet, so we can discuss whatever that is later.” you shrug off dean’s hand, trying to focus on the things you’re already angry about instead of asking the even bigger question nagging at you now. when the hell did dean get back that those two had time to hash out something that major? you turn your anger back to sam, thinking about what it was like when dean first disappeared. “you told me you looked. you told me you did all that you could, that you tried everything in your power. now dean’s telling me that you did nothing?”

sam sighs heavily. “yes. okay, listen, i’m sorry i lied to you. but i just wanted you to try and live your life for once. i figured if i told you i did everything i could, that, i don’t know, maybe you’d give up and try to move on? go to school, do something you love, have real friends, maybe find someone?” he throws his hands up in the air, a defeated gesture because he knows you don’t agree, while he still thinks he did the right thing.

you scoff, because, god, he really has no idea. arms crossed and face the kind of calm that says run to anyone on the other end of your anger, you nod in false understanding. “yeah, what good that did,” you say, your tone so sarcastic and dry that sam just clenches his jaw and dean’s face turns from concerned to full-blown worried. he wonders if he should ask what that means, because whatever it does, it’s certainly not “good.” 

but you pick up again after a moment of thick, dripping silence. “you know, sam, you have absolutely no idea how this past year really was for me. i’m not saying it was easy for you, because i know it wasn’t. though now i know you also skipped the trouble of looking for dean and really, actually lived that hunting-free life you wanted. and–” you pause a moment, purposefully not looking at dean. “and it’s not– not bad that you got that, sam, all i’m saying is that just about nothing has been all, i don’t know, rainbows and butterflies more like you think,” your voice takes a scathing edge, a tone so rare to both of your brothers that neither knows what to say, “and you know what, sam? it’s looking to me like i’d be a lot better off if you’d just decided to tell me the goddamn truth.”

sam says your name, tentative like he’s testing hot waters, “i thought you said things were going well. you said you liked school, that you were making friends there? just explain to me what you mean so we can figure this out.”

“figure it out,” you repeat under your breath, sticking your tongue against the inside of your cheek to keep from saying something too harsh. “sam, things were going well! they were!” now you’re feeling desperate to make him understand, “but that night you told me there was nothing else we could do, nothing else to try and that i should just do my best to move on? i couldn’t, sam, i couldn’t do that. there had to be something more we could do, so i gave up on the things you said you did and i went further. i let you think i was fine, that i was doing what you wanted for me because you always sounded so tired. you always sounded like one more thing on your plate would make the sweet little life you built come crashing down, so i made sure you wouldn’t have to worry about me.”

dean’s does his best to make his interruption gentle, though he’s not the best at hiding his frustrations sometimes. he doesn’t want to upset you more, but you can hear the tension in his voice when he asks, “kiddo? what do you mean by you ‘went further?’”

suddenly you shrink in on yourself, your lower lip caught between your teeth and your eyes shining with fresh tears. “dean–,” your voice breaks before you can even say anything else. his hand is on your back, meant to be comforting, but it only makes you feel worse about it all. you know how much dean would hate the lengths you went to to try and get him back. “i can’t–” you shake your head, ignoring your oldest brother, “i can’t right now, but maybe… maybe if you’d told me the truth, sam, if i’d just started by reading through all of bobby’s books like you said you did, things would have worked out differently.”

“well, maybe if you told me you were going to keep trying, i could have helped you!” sam fires back.

you let out a strangled, frustrated noise as you stand, unable to keep sitting down. “would you? really? because i really don’t think you would’ve! you were so focused on moving on from losing dean that you distanced yourself from me, too! you barely picked up, never called, only talked about dean in three word sentences to tell me a lie about how you tried and failed to find anything to help! maybe if you paid any attention to me, gave any indication that you wanted to help or see me or be a major part of life like i wanted of you, i would have opened up to you!” it makes you even more angry when your voice turns teary, “and for once, i wanted to try to be the one to take care of you two. i kept my secrets, i never let on how fucking lonely i was, just so you wouldn’t worry about me!” 

a stunned silence falls over you brothers, sam’s guilt beginning to overrun his natural response of anger, and dean making up for that fading anger with his own. your chest heaves with laboured breath as you stare sam down.

dean’s tone is icy as he breaks the silence, “sam, is that really how you treated them while i was gone?”

sam exhales hard, ignoring dean in favor of looking at you, “i was just doing what i thought was the best for both of us. i didn’t know, okay, i’m sorry. i really am.” he looks sorry, and sad, like this is the opposite of what he wanted. under your anger, you know it’s true that he never wanted this. you know that sam thinks people are better off distant from him. but it hurts that he let you be one of those people.

“are you kidding me?” you exclaim, voice turning shrill as your composure slips further and further. “people got hurt, on my account,” you have to force that part out through gritted teeth, “i got kicked out of school, and i spent three months running from hunters!” both sam and dean want to interrupt at that. but you keep going, your voice quieter now, harsh and trembling, “but you were doing what you thought was best for both of us? try what was best for you. dean was gone, and i needed you, sammy, i needed you and the second you said you needed to get away, alone, i knew i didn’t have you.”

that shuts him up, has him deflating and his guilt taking over, and you can see it and you hate it. you almost wish he’d get angry instead because that means you can keep shouting at him to try and make him understand. but all you get are his clenched jaw, his sad eyes, and his guilty silence that tell you he knows he fucked up but he can’t figure out a way to make it better since sorry sure as hell won’t cut it.

it’s dean who cuts into the heavy silence again. “sam.” his name hangs in the air, weighed down with unspoken words. we’ll talk about this later, you guess is the message. you can feel how angry dean is without even looking at him. you know all he ever asked of sam if he was gone was to take care of you, and now dean knows he didn’t. he tried, the way he thought was right, but he didn’t. then his attention is back on you. he says your name, clear and careful. “i’m gonna need you to tell me what you did.”

you wipe at your face angrily as you whirl to face dean. trying to keep the ever present tears at bay, you tap right back into your anger. but it's more tired this time, less convincing with your voice taut from unshed tears begging to be released.

“all that, and that’s what you take away from this? really, dean? you’re gonna need to know what i did? i don’t need you to tell me to know that– that it was wrong and i don’t need you to make me feel any more shitty than i already do right now, okay?”

it’s his turn to wear a look of guilt on his face, but it only sits there for a flash before he keeps going. “kid, that’s not what i’m tryna’ do here, alright? i just wanna understand so i can keep us safe, yeah?” he puts his hands out in a peaceful motion, but something else unresolved floats back up into your focus.

“no. dean, no! because there’s something else here, something both of you have been avoiding this entire time!” there’s a sudden change in the air, like both of them are holding their breath, silently begging you won’t ask the question. “dean, how long have you been back?”

his hesitancy to answer tells you everything. “kid, listen, that’s not imp–”

“don’t you dare say it’s not important! did you hear anything i just said, dean? anything about how shit my life has been since you’ve been gone, how lonely i’ve been?”

“you’re right,” sam relents, forging on before dean can stop him, “he’s been back for three months now. it’s my fault we didn’t tell you. it’s all my fault, and believe me, i am so sorry.” you collapse into a chair with your head in your hands as he continues, “i know that does nothing to fix things, but i am sorry, and i swear i’m gonna spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you, kiddo. i’m all in now, and i did it all so this wouldn’t have to be your life, but you’re here now and we want more than anything to have you around, okay?” 

you lift your head up to stare at him. “three months.” your voice is dangerously quiet. “you two…” your tired mind can’t think of words strong enough, “drive me insane, you know that? dean, you just– you just went along with that and decided, let me guess, that it was best for me? because i was at school, living a normal life and away from the danger of this one? is that it? it’s best for me not to know my brother’s alive? because, you know, that reminds me of something. hm, maybe the time sam hid from us that he was alive for a year because he didn’t have his fucking soul? oh, yeah, it must be that.” you let out a short bark of laughter, but it and your voice are completely devoid of any humor. dean visibly recoils when you mention that. he’s thought of it, and still decided to keep you in the dark. “come on, dean, you know how that feels and you go and do it to me again? really? you gonna tell me you came back from wherever the hell you were without a soul next? where– where even were you?” you ask shrilly.

you’ve beat him too. “sweetheart,” he sighs, “i’m sorry. we were wrong to do that to you, okay? i– i was in purgatory. i can explain the rest later.”

finally, you think you might be out of things to say, to be hurt about. your voice is quiet and fragile now, and the dam holding back your tears is fractured in a million places, more than ready to break. “i missed you so much. both of you,” you whisper. you meant to make a scathing comment about how “sorry” and “we were wrong” don’t even begin to cover it, but you find that you’re not in complete control of the things coming out of your mouth. you’re just too goddamn tired. dean is crouching in front of you in an instant.

“i missed you, too, sweetheart. so much. i’m sorry.” he takes it as a good sign that you let him place his hand on your knee. you want to flick it away, maybe shove him away too.

“and i was so, so lonely. i was so scared,” you cry out, wishing you didn’t have to cry when you got angry. “and i’m so mad that you two did this to me. three months…”

“i know, kiddo, i know. i’m sorry.” gently, slowly, he tugs you towards him and into his arms and you slide onto the floor and cry into his chest, shaking and unable to say a thing. you want to tell him this doesn’t make it right, but dean hushes you gently when you try. “shhh, it’s okay. i’m here now,” he comforts. it’s true that this doesn’t make it right, but it’s almost all you need in that moment.

“sammy,” you choke out, still so angry with him, but wanting him near anyways, knowing that he’s too scared to come close to you after coming face to face with all of the ways you were hurt. his hand is on your back a moment later, hesitant at first, then strong and soothing moments later when you blindly grab for the fabric of his flannel to keep him close.

“okay. okay, i’m here. i’m sorry. i’ve got you, i promise,” he whispers, silently letting a few of his own guilty tears fall.

utterly exhausted, you stay slumped on the floor in dean's arms when your tears dry up. you can barely keep your eyes open and your breathing is soft and slow. 

“let’s get you to bed,” dean whispers, hoisting you all the way up as he stands. “sam’ll grab you a glass of water.” you sigh an imperceptible sigh because you know that dean is still pissed at sam. rightfully so, you’re more than just pissed at both of them, but you’re too tired to care in this moment, and the last thing you want is for them to be angry at each other. that’s your job for when you wake up hours from now. 

dean leads you to a foreign room and foreign bed, and you sink down onto the edge of it. sam is back moments later with the promised glass of water and tissues for your face. you cave to your exhaustion, climbing all the way into the bed. you curl up and tug at the covers slightly, eager to fall asleep.

“see you in the morning,” you mumble, effectively dismissing them with your voice hoarse from crying. you close your eyes before either of them can say a thing, not wanting to look them or your remaining problems and anger in the face.but your words are also a whisper of the beginning of forgiveness. 

“goodnight, kiddo,” dean says, his voice full of a familiar affection that he only uses for his little siblings as he presses a kiss to your hairline. he lingers at the doorway before

you drowsily register the sound of sam setting the glass of water on the night stand by your head. “i’m right across the hallway if you need anything.” a moment, then, “goodnight,” and a gentle hand on the side of your head before a kiss to your temple.

you fall asleep coming up with a list of petty ways you’ll have them make things up to you. neither sam nor dean will be pleased to hear that you’re calling shotgun in the impala for the next three months, minimum. sam for obvious reasons, and dean because he’ll know that means you’ll be taking your job as youngest sibling to annoy the living hell out of him very seriously.

[skzhua]

'down into the hollow' series (coming soon)

synopsis: pixie hollow has never been better. each fairy fulfills their responsibility as they should. all of them? some may be distracted with a certain visitor called love.

genre: fairies!stray kids, fantasy!au, tinkerbell universe, fluff mostly, slow burn, genre depends on each story.

warnings: swearing, suggestive for some of them, all are female reader.

note: they can be read individually, but they are all interrelated. (i used the same names as my 'your eyes' series because i have no inspiration when it comes to names)

note 2: click on the hearts to read!

status: coming soon...

STRAY KIDS MASTERLIST

♡ "Follow the melody in your heart."

pairing: music fairy!bang chan x dust keeper!reader.

genre: strangers-to-lovers, fluff, angst.

word count: tba.

warnings: swearing, lots of complaining, chan is clueless as hell.

summary: unlike your friend, jisung, you adore being a dust keeper. getting to participate in the magic of the fairies makes you ecstatic. or maybe, it has something to do with the musician who practices near the pixie hollow tree almost every day.

♡ "Can you keep up?"

pairing: fast-flying fairy!lee minho x fast-flying fairy!reader.

genre: enemies-to-lovers (everyone's fav trope), fluff, angst.

word count: tba.

warnings: swearing, insults, talks of depression.

summary: as much as minho loves the simplicity of his life, a new fairy arriving in pixie hollow comes in to ruin his perfectly quiet routine. not only that, but she dares to steal the show as one of their fastest fairies they've ever had.

♡ "I'd build a house for you."

pairing: tinker fairy!seo changbin x animal fairy!reader.

genre: slice of life, friends-to-lovers, lots of fluff.

word count: tba.

warnings: swearing.

summary: as one of the best tinker fairies, changbin is the fairy to go to when in need. when a squirrel accident occurs, the only person you think of is him. only, this wouldn't be the first time you'd visit the kind fairy.

♡ "I followed the current until I reached a waterfall that made me fall for you."

pairing: water fairy!hwang hyunjin x light fairy!reader.

genre: fluff, angst.

word count: tba.

warnings: swearing, hyunjin is a romanticist, talks of loneliness.

summary: you and your brother have a specific routine. in charge of the sunrise and the sunset, you are used to watching them. when you are tasked with rainbows making one day, the water fairy you are paired with takes your breath away.

♡ "Sometimes, you only need a little bit of dust."

pairing: dust keeper!han jisung x music fairy!reaader.

genre: fluff, fluff, fluff!

word count: tba.

warnings: swearing, jisung stares a lot.

summary: jisung never liked being a dust keeper. while the others get to play and fly around all day, he stares at the golden flakes for hours on end. on one of his many staring sessions at the other fairies, the music crew begins to play what can only be described as the most magical melody he has the chance to hear. their singer? you.

♡ "I never thought I'd see something shinier than the light."

pairing: light fairy!lee felix x garden fairy!reader.

genre: best friend's brother, fluff.

word count: tba.

warnings: swearing.

summary: befriending someone who is a twin means two things. one; you are blessed with all the family secrets. two; you might ask about the other twin's a little too much.

♡ "They say swans find their forever partner."

pairing: animal fairy!kim seungmin x music fairy!reader.

genre: forced proximity, fluff.

word count: tba.

warnings: swearing, suggestive.

summary: as you fly over to the daily rehearsal with the music fairies, birds coming your way changes your path and leads you to a dark cavern where the clumsy animal fairy misguided the flying beasts. it might take a while before the both of you get out, might as well make the most of it.

♡ "Growing flowers is kind of my thing."

pairing: garden fairy!yang jeongin x dust keeper!reader.

genre: strangers-to-lovers, fluff.

word count: tba.

warnings: swearing.

summary: he comes every day at the pixie hollow tree, and you observe him every time. you don't know him, he doesn't know you. somehow, the pink flowers he brings every now and then begin to grab your curiosity.

taglist: @lenilla15 | @muddy-waters | @nanaspalette | @nattisbored | @popcatx0 | @vanblack95 | @aestheticsluut | @thanxxskz | @minhoino | @taetertotsv | @luvscrazy | @lethallyprotected | @foxinnie8 | @jisuperboard | @jihanlovic | @soobin-chois | @jinxwhore28 | @purplelandsworld | @yeojoongiee | @smugrogerina | @jaehyunicecream | @urmomlikeslinotoo | @syprosight | @thesassy-mia | @chaotic-world-of-the-j | @heartsforlevi | @miyakoa | @seungincore | @skzsilentcryy | @kpopsstuffs | @tinyelfperson | @chrizzztopherbang | @yukichan67 | @realrintaro | @nujeskz | @cookiemonstermusic258

Copyright © 2024 skzhua. All rights reserved.

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

A/N ::: I'm just going to come right out and say it, I love Kafka Hibino. He's so goddamn cute that I literally want to just eat him alive. This is my first time writing for him - though I've been thinking about it for ages. I hope you like it, @supersecretsaga And I apologize, I'm wholly incapable of writing without it exceeding 1k words. So, SORRY. I proofed this once on google docs and that's all I have in me today. Any gross errors that look like I didn't mean to do them, message me!

C/W ::: Human Kafka, F.reader, not a lot of swearing. I just don't get the sense that Kafka would swear unnecessarily. Maybe I'm wrong. My perception will probably change. Really, who cares. Um, P->V (unprotected), jumping the relationship gun (but, with him, I would, too.)

WC ::: 3,094 (about 7 3/4 pages on G-Docs).

MDNI UNDER THE CUT

Kafka Hibino was simple, through and through. But when he met you that day in the hospital, his whole life changed. He knew he'd never be the same man he was before he was admitted.

You're a nurse. You were great at your job, and you knew it. Though the first time you saw that big, dumb puppy-energy-giving man, you knew that you were a goner, as well.

He was admitted around 2 am. Settled in around 5 am. He was in a lot of pain from the fight he'd gotten into with the Kaiju around midnight. He had 2 broken arms, bruised ribs. A number of different things had happened to him.

Kafka would be in good hands, though. Really, really good hands.

Your hands.

**** 7:30 am ****

"Oh- oh my god. What was THAT!?" You pulled your hand from the large porcelain tub in his bathroom and squeezed the sponge out over his short dark hair.

Giggling, you blinked slowly because you couldn't deny the warmth that was spreading throughout your whole body. And not just between your thighs. No, this was something else entirely. His stupid haircut, his kind eyes and dumbass smile were hammering their way through your boundaries. The same boundaries you'd worked so hard over the years to build to not get emotionally attached to patients.

"You're an idiot, Mr. Hibino. A complete moron. Have you never been bathed before? That was just a little something extra to help loosen up your muscles, a quick massage. My goodness. It's as if you've never been pampered." You stood from where you were on your knees on the floor and shook your hands out, purposely getting water on his face - you hoped in his eyes - so you would have a reason to gingerly wipe it dry.

"Call me Kafka," he said, his eyes never leaving yours as he watched you grab the towel and stand over him.

"What?" You were confused. You didn't realize he'd been asking you something.

"Call me Kafka. It's my name, yeah?" He sounded so serious, so sincere. You nodded and wiped his face with the towel, noticing the small wrinkles as he smiled up at you.

Fuck. He's adorable and you're finding it harder and harder to stay professional.

"No. Your name is Mr. Hibino and that's what I'll be calling you. Ok? Mr. Hibino? Now, let's finish this bath and get you back in bed. The doctor will be coming by soon to check on you and he can give you another massage if you need it." You moved your hands to his shoulders, gently massaging them as you continued talking. "You've been through a lot, Mr. Hibino. Your body needs to heal."

He sighed and closed his eyes, leaning back against the tub.

You kept massaging him, not stopping until he was almost asleep.

This sweet, gentle man, had a power over you that no one else did. And you weren't sure how to deal with it.

Quite a while later (sorry, storyline faux pas - I didn’t take into account healing time. But let’s just say that because he’s part Kaiju that he heals exceptionally fast. Ok? Ok!)*****

**** 1 month later, 10 pm ****

You hadn't seen Kafka since the morning bath you'd given him. He was discharged and sent home to continue his recovery. As a nurse, you knew he would be alright. But as a woman, you were left feeling empty and wanting more of him.

You were home that night, exhausted, but unable to sleep. You tried to keep your thoughts away from the big, gentle man who had stolen your heart with his kind words and warm smile, but it was impossible.

Your mind drifted to the way he looked at you as you bathed him.

How his body was perfectly balanced between the hard muscles he'd earned in his training and the slight squish around his mid-section that you wanted nothing more than to run your fingertips over.

His arms were thick and strong. Yet not battle-worn. He didn't have too many scars, though they'd have only added to his appeal.

His legs were muscular, too. Thick and strong, like his arms. His thighs were something else, something you found yourself daydreaming about wrapping your own legs around.

You wondered what his cock would feel like inside of you. You snuck a glance when he was in the tub. You knew his eyes were closed when you looked at it, bobbing away in the water. You're certain he was hard. Otherwise, you prayed he wasn't a grower because any more than that and you'd be the one being admitted to the hospital.

You thought about his hands on your body, squeezing your breasts and sliding between your thighs. You imagined what it would be like to feel his fingers inside of you, massaging you and bringing you to orgasm faster than you could imagine.

You rubbed your clit slowly, gently. You couldn't bring yourself to fuck yourself with a vibrator or even your own fingers. You didn't want to give yourself that much pleasure. 

You wanted it to be Kafka.

You wanted him to be the one to take you, to fuck you, to make love to you.

You rolled over onto your stomach, burying your face into your pillow as you yelled out in frustration.

"This is ridiculous. This is so stupid. I - I'm not some teenager who can't control herself." You stood and walked to your closet, grabbing some comfortable clothes and your purse and left for the mini mart down the street from your house. 

Chocolate was the next best thing you could think of. Other than, of course, Kafka running his hands all over your body. But what are the chances of that.

What are the chances of that?

The night air was cool against your skin. A nice contrast to the heat you'd built up while thinking about him.

You grabbed a pint of chocolate ice cream and began walking back home.

You felt better, slightly, but still very much wanting.

**** 10:30 pm ****

You were halfway through your pint and the movie when you heard a knock on your front door. "Coming, hold on, please." You walked to the door and looked through your peephole to see who it was. "Oh, you're fucking kidding me. What on earth are you doing here, Mr. Hibino?" The smile on your face was causing the back of your head to strain. You couldn't hide that you felt like your prayers had been answered all at once. But at the same time, you didn't want Kafka to see this look of bliss on your flushed face.

"Call me Kafka," he said softly, leaning against the doorway and smiling back at you. "And I wanted to see you again. May I? Come in, I mean. Please?"

You stepped aside and let him in, closing the door behind him.

You watched as he looked around your living room. You could tell he was a little nervous, but so were you.

You'd never felt this way about a patient before. Ex-patient, you had to remind yourself. He was no longer under your care. 

"Ok, Kafka." He smiled at the way you said his name. He'd never heard anything like it before. "Would you like some ice cream? I was just sitting here, eating some, watching a bad movie." You chuckled, showing him the container and spoon.

"Sure. I'd love some." He sat down right in the middle of your couch, and you sat next to him.

You handed him the ice cream and he dug in.

You both ate in silence for a few minutes until he said, "This is good."

You nodded and smiled. "It is. Sometimes chocolate, um, well, sometimes it's the only thing that helps. Y'know?" You looked at him, noticing the way his lips had turned up into a smirk. "What? What did I say?"

"Nothing, nothing. You're just ... you just ... h-here. Can I? There's a little bit of ... right ..." He swiped his thumb across your bottom lip so slowly and then sucked the ice cream off. "... there. You just had a little on your lip. 'S gone now."

You weren't sure what to do. Your body was telling you to jump on him and fuck him until neither of you could walk. Your brain was telling you to wait and see what other kind of sweet nothings he'd do for you. 

So, you waited. You had no idea your self-control was this well-honed. Again, you’d never been tested like this before.

But Kafka was different.

"You're beautiful, y'know." He whispered, looking at the floor like he was trying to burn holes in it with his eyes. He turned his head, leaning in a little bit closer than you were to him at the hospital. His hand moved to rest on your knee. And he said, "I've never met anyone like you before. I thought I was just going lay in the hospital bed until I was better. But you showed me kindness and care. I know you were just doing your job, but I'm grateful that you were there. That you were … you."

You didn't say anything. You were too busy trying to keep your heart from leaping out of your chest. You're sure if he'd looked, he'd see your tits jumping ever so slightly from the heaviness of the beating.

"Thank you for that. Thank you for everything you've done for me, Miss. I don’t know your first name. I’m embarrassed at how many ‘L/N’ households I went to looking for you.”

Your hand shot up to cover the smile that immediately bloomed across your lips. "That's not important. It's Y/N. And you're welcome. I'm happy I was able to help you. I didn't expect you to come here, though. I'm glad you did." You shifted, moving your knee so that your legs were touching. He didn't move his hand. He held it there, squeezing your knee gently.

"I didn't think I'd come here either. But I couldn't stop thinking about you. I know it's not appropriate for me to be here, but I had to see you again. I wanted to say thank you, in person." He turned his head and looked at you. You leaned in closer to him, your noses almost touching. "And maybe something else. Something that would make you feel as special as you made me feel when you took care of me."

You were so close to him you could feel the warmth of his breath against your cheek. He smelled like the air before a storm, and whiskey. But a little liquid courage never killed anyone.

"Kafka," you whispered, reaching up and touching his face. You were fidgeting with a small piece of his hair as you rest your forehead against his. "Kafka. I ..."

He sat up abruptly, "Oh shit! You're not married, are you? I should have asked, I'm so sorry for showing up here so late. Without any warning." He bowed to you and started for the door.

"Kafka! I'm not married. I'm not even seeing anyone right now. Please, come back. Come sit." You stood and took his hand, leading him back to the couch. "I was going to say I've never felt this way about a patient before. You make me feel like there's something more to life than just my job."

He looked at you, his eyes searching yours for any signs of dishonesty. He couldn't find any. "So, you don't mind me coming here?"

You shook your head. "I don't mind you coming here at all. I'm glad you did. I was just surprised, that's all. Please don't leave. Not yet." You held his hand tighter and urged him back down on the couch with you.

Pulling him back in, kissing him gently on the lips. "I've been wanting you to do that since the first time I saw you, too. But you in terrible pain when you came in. How did you have the presence of mind to want to kiss me when you were so badly beaten up?"

He laughed, "I wasn't beaten up, per se. I just didn't come out on top." He paused for a second, and then continued, "And the pain wasn't as bad as you think. I'm used to it. It's a part of my job. But being here with you, it's like I can forget all of that. And just be me. Kafka. Nothing else."

You leaned in and kissed him again, this time with more urgency. His lips parted slightly, and you could taste the chocolate on his tongue. You moaned softly, shifting so that your legs were wrapped around him. He pulled you onto his lap, and you straddled him, grinding yourself against his crotch.

"Oh my god," he moaned, pulling back slightly and looking into your eyes. "Y/N. You're so beautiful." He reached up and touched your cheek with his thumb, rubbing it gently.

You pulled his shirt off, tossing it to the floor. His chest was chiseled and smooth, his abs flexing slightly under his cute belly as he breathed heavily.

You ran your hands over his shoulders and down his back, feeling every muscle and every scar. You kissed his neck, biting it gently and sucking on his skin. "Kafka, I want you. I want you so much."

He pulled your shirt off and threw it next to his. "I'm gonna make you feel so good that you'll forget all about chocolate."

You stopped, pulling back from his face, and you laughed so hard for the first time in ages. "Oh, that might be the most serious thing anyone has ever said to me. Challenge accepted!"

He pulled you back into him and kissed you, his hands reaching around to squeeze your ass as you ground yourself against him. He picked you up and carried you to your bedroom, gently laying you on the bed before climbing on top of you.

You unclasped your bra and tossed it to the floor, allowing him to see your breasts. He gasped as quietly as he could manage, running his hands over them and squeezing them gently. "You're so beautiful. You know that?"

He leaned down and took a nipple in his mouth, sucking on it gently as his fingers worked at your pants. He slid them off, revealing your black lace panties. You'd never felt so exposed in your life. And you loved it.

"Kafka, please," you moaned as he sucked harder on your nipple, his hand moving down to rub your clit through your panties. "Please fuck me. I need you. I need you so bad."

He pulled back, looking at your face. "You want me to fuck you? You want me to make you cum? Oh-hoh baby, I will. I might even cum before you do! But don't lose faith. It's just, well, it's been a while? I guess? But that's not important right now." He leaned in and kissed you again, biting your bottom lip and sucking on it gently.

"It's ok, Kafka. I want you. I don't care if you cum before me. I just want you inside me. Please, please." You looked up at him with tears in your eyes. You couldn't believe you were begging like this, but you didn't care. You wanted him so badly.

He nodded and pulled your panties off, throwing them to the floor. He pushed his own pants down and pulled his boxers off with them, his cock set free.

You gasped at the sight. It was so much more than what you saw when he was in the tub. "Jesus, I-"

He looked down, "Oh. That?" He turned his head away, "Yeah, sorry. I'm sure you've seen um, better? But I make up for it in other ways! I promise, y/n. Just give me a chance."

You shook your head and smiled, "That's not at all what I'm trying to say here. There's not a doubt in my mind you won't fuck me stupid, Kafka." You giggled and reached your arms out to pull him down against you.

He positioned himself between your legs, rubbing the tip of his cock against your clit as he kissed your neck.

You moaned, "Ohhh, fuck. Yes. Do that." Your hand moved to his ass, squeezing it as he rocked against you.

He pushed himself inside of you slowly, stretching you out as he went. The slight sting you noticed dissipated as quickly as the onset. You moaned, your nails digging into his back as he started to thrust faster. "Kafka, oh my god. That feels so fucking good. More. I want more,  please."

He grunted, his cock sliding in and out of you as you arched your back, grinding yourself against him. He sucked on your nipple again, his tongue flicking over it as he fucked you harder and faster.

You couldn't believe how much he was making you feel. You hadn't had sex in so long, but this was different. This was something else entirely. He was with you. He wasn't just there to get himself off. You'd been with guys like that before and they, more often than not, left you with a (literal) bad taste in your mouth.

Your breathing quickened, and you could feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge. And the closer you got, the harder your nails dug into his muscular back. "Kaf-hoh shit. Y-that ... pl- fuck. 'M gonna cum ... very … very soon."

He pulled back slightly, looking at your face as you bit your lip, your eyes rolling back. "Me too, baby. Me too. You're so tight, and you feel so good. I can't believe I'm inside of you. Fuck. I'm gonna cum, Y/N. Oh shit, I'm gonna cum." He grunted again, his cock twitching inside of you as he came hard, filling you up.

You came with him, your pussy squeezing around his cock as he kept fucking you, slowing his thrusts until he stopped completely.

"Fuck," you whispered, reaching up and touching his face gently. "Kafka."

He smiled and kissed you softly. "RIGHT!?" 

You laughed through a yawn at the high energy he had when you first met, despite his injuries, and how he seems now. “Stay? Stay with me. I don’t want you to go. Tonight. Ever.” 

He held you close to him, kissing the top of your head and brushing your hair down as you drifted off to sleep against his warm chest.

"Just try’n get rid of me, y/n." 

@darkstarlight82 @katkusuo @kazutora-kurokawa

@arlerts-angel @southside-otaku @trevengersprincess

@bakubunny @reiners-milkbiddies

***If you guys absolutely hate this anime or don't give a shit, please please let me know so I don't keep writing and tagging you in stuff you don't care about! Thanks, mooties! <3***

[itwasntimethatdidit40]

Happy Birthday, little finch.

Gif credits

Pairing: Jackson!Joel X AFAB!reader

Words count: 6731

Rating: +18 NSFW, Minors please don’t interact

Summary: Everyone forgets your birthday but you receive an unexpected invitation (wink) that will change the fate of the day.

Warnings: POV second person, smut, little power dynamic, little brat taming, begging, unprotected P in V (please, always use protections in real life!), Reader's age is intentionally unspecified, you can imagine an age gap between her and Joel or not, oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), nipples play, Joel comes on reader's tits, just a little of pulling hair, soft!Joel, grumpy!Joel, pet names (little finch, honey, baby, babe), mention of fasting as a sarcastic joke (I don’t condone joking about no one’s eating habits), reader has hair (It is not specified how long they are or what they look like), reader can be lifted by big and strong Joel, reader has a able body, breasts and vagina and she wears a dress, apart from that no other description is given, reader is part of the Jackson community, I don't know anything about Jackson, I only know a few details about second game’s plot (including that detail, yes) so everything I describe is purely from my imagination and may have no bearing on the original Jackson, brief appearances by Maria, Tommy, Ellie and Dina, drinking, swearing, Joel calls reader “little finch” (I came up with this nickname just because my grandpa used to call me with a bird name when I was little and I always found it sweet, so here we go ❤️), Joel can draw (I don't know if it's true but for me it is, okay, allow me). I hope I haven't forgotten anything but if I do I'll add it as soon as I notice.

English is not my first language so please be kind, I always try to do my best, no proofreading (sorry), very little editing, I apologize for any mistakes. I'm writing on my phone, I hope the formatting isn't too bad 🥲

Thank you so much to anyone who will read this, I really hope you’ll like it, kind comments and advices are really appreciated ❤️

I've been listening to Hozier's "Talk" heavily while writing this so here it is, I'll let you know. It's such a beautiful song and I love Hozier so much 🫠

You wake up struck by a ray of sunlight that enters faintly through the half-closed shutters and dies right on your face.

You have no idea what time it is and your head feels heavy and confused, you turn over in bed thinking that maybe you can give yourself another 5 minutes but then you hear voices outside already awake and ringing and then you think that maybe it's really late. You sit up and retrieve the clock from the bedside table, it's 7 in the morning.

You get up and go to the kitchen to make some coffee and from the window you see some people already busy doing their work. Some children head towards the building designated as school in Jackson, happily laughing while they chase each others.

You yawn and open the cabinet in the kitchen where you keep the coffee filters, a precious supply recovered during an exploration that you jealously preserve.

The coffee is also the result of a find and therefore it was carefully rationed with the other members of the community.

You are grateful that it exists because this morning you really need it, last night you slept badly, continuing to toss in your sleep and always dreaming of the same thing again and again. You being swallowed up by a hole in the ground and no hand reaching out to help you. Just a great dream.

The coffee maker burbles a few minutes later, releasing the drink you crave.

Temperatures are milder in this season so you no longer need to put on a heavy jacket and snow boots, there is a bit of fresh wind but nothing compared to the harsh winter that has just passed.

Today in particular you feel like dressing better than usual, you go back to your room and open the wardrobe, carefully inspecting the few clothes hanging there.

You obviously don't have much choice because they're all salvaged second-hand clothes, but Maria gave you a nice pair of denim shorts a month ago and they look very nice on you.

You take it out of the closet and place it on the bed along with a white tank top that highlights your boobs just right, it’s nothing particularly fancy but it makes you feel good, you head towards the shower humming softly.

The shower helps you wake up, you dress and you leave the house feeling a bit better.

You meet a couple of people who greet you as you make your way to the library.

You enter, smelling the familiar smell of books and immediately get to work cleaning and dusting the shelves and the floor, like every day.

The morning passes peacefully, only a couple of people come in to borrow books, so after doing your chores you took the opportunity to rearrange thriller’s books section.

You're a bit shocked by the fact that no one told you anything particular but you don't mind, these people have a lot to think about and a lot to do.

When you leave it's lunch time, so you head to the common room.

The crisp air caresses your face and the sun gives you a little warmth that you missed so much, you really love this season in Jackson.

You enter the room filled with chatter that echoes off the walls. You take your place in line and once you have had your portion you sit at one of the tables.

No one reaches you yet. You're alone in a room full of people.

You see him in a corner, sitting with Maria and Tommy and you get lost for a while observing the way he moves his large hands, how his hair rests at the base of his neck, his big brown eyes, so communicative, the way his flannel shirt - which has practically become a distinctive trait of Joel - hug his muscles, the way his lower lip slightly twitch while he’s talking.

You’re totally captivated.

You can't help it and you know it.

Every time he spoke to you, even for just a few minutes, your body reacted unequivocally at his deep low raspy voice, his proximity always caused you trouble.

You like this man, much more than you are willing to admit.

Joel Miller.

You're friends, you might say. As much as it is possible to be friends with a man like him.

He's friendly, but always with an undertone of detachment that you can't define, as if he's afraid of letting himself go with someone and let his feelings flow freely.

And just as you're thinking this, he turns and looks at you for a moment.

You are sitting, yet your knees feel weak and you feel your cheeks redden knowing you've been caught.

You turn your eyes back to your lunch, quickly finishing your meal and bringing your tray back. You leave the common room feeling in a bubble.

It's stupid that he makes you feel like a little girl with her first crush but it always happens, by now you're resigned to always making a fool of yourself with him.

You walk home to do your household chores and then go to the patch of garden you've been assigned to take care of.

You meet various people along the way but again everyone just say hello, you see Ellie with Dina and they both wave at you and nothing more. In the meantime, Maria has left the common room and the only thing she asks you is how the courgettes you planted a month ago are coming along.

It's strange, but you shrug your shoulders and think that deep down today is not such a relevant day for others even if you hoped it would be because you now consider these people as your new family.

You stop thinking about it and focus on the things you have to do but a tiny piece of your heart hurts a little, just a little.

What the hell is wrong with people today? Only a month ago they throw a big party for Tommy and now nothing, not even a hint.

Okay, Tommy is higher rank, he is married to Maria, everyone sees him as a guide just as they see his partner.

And he goes on patrols, certainly offering others a greater sense of security and protection, unlike you who deal with less dangerous things.

That's probably why, you're just a minion in Jackson's pecking order.

You let off some steam by plowing your field with more force than necessary, small drops of sweat slide down your forehead and you end up hot and with your arms aching from the effort.

Stupid girl, stop thinking about it, it's not that important to have a birthday, not in a post apocalyptic world where everyone is struggling to get ahead.

But still, they acknowledged every single special day of everyone’s here before, except yours and nothing particularly relevant is happening, it’s been a couple of quiet weeks.

You're wiping sweat from your forehead with one hand when you hear a voice behind you.

"What are you doing tonight?" It's his voice, you'd recognize his among a thousand.

You turn around stuttering “uh, what?”

And there he is, flannel shirt, curls slightly blowing in the wind, mouth curved in a smirk, dark piercing eyes.

Fuck.

“I asked…what are you doing tonight?”

You feel the nervousness rising in your chest, it's the first time he's spoken to you in a week and you weren't ready in the slightest.

“Uh…oh…nothing special, I guess, I think I'll read a book and go to sleep early”

you say trying to maintain a certain apparent nonchalance.

“You didn't mention dinner, are you going to fast?” Oh, great. Sarcastic jokes, classic Miller behavior.

“No, of course not,” you reply, rolling your eyes.

He chuckles “okay, so, would you like to come to my house? I cook”

Fuck. Is that, a date?

You instantly feel your mouth dry as you try to reply “Well, it’s not like I have something better to do so yes, why not”

You don't want to make it obvious to this man how he makes you feel. There are worse things to worry about in this world, but letting yourself go with someone who always shows restraint only to be rejected - on your birthday, no less - doesn't seem as pleasant.

And that's how you usually communicate anyway, bickering.

Maria often laughs about it, you are both stubborn and neither of you ever wants to agree with the other.

One day she told you that she thinks you'll end up together and you practically laughed in her face. Not because you don't want to, but because you thought Joel didn't even see you that way.

Maybe Maria was right all along, who knows.

“Good, see you at 7”

And he goes.

You watch him walk away for a while, still with spade in your hands.

Suddenly this day became interesting.

You run into the house and take off your dirty clothes throwing them in the basket you keep in the bathroom and go to the shower.

While you're soaping yourself up you wonder what came into his mind.

As you rub your hair, you think that maybe he's making fun of you but Joel doesn't seem like the type to make a prank, he's always quite sarcastic but not a proper prankster.

It's part of his charm, he always looks grumpy but you know he's not bad, the way he looks at Ellie or his brother says everything about him.

He would do anything for the people he loves.

And he’s not mean, he was kind to you too.

You've spent more time looking at him, analyzing every chat you had with him than you like to admit, so yeah, you're pretty sure he's okay.

Once you get out of the shower you open the wardrobe and find yourself contemplating the usual clothes with which you have to make the best of things.

There is a cute dress that you have never worn because you have never found a particular occasion. It's quite short and low-cut, definitely not suited to Jackson's lifestyle, here everyone wears jeans and sweaters or t-shirts.

You think that maybe tonight is the time to dare even if you don't want him to burst out laughing and ask you what you've got in your head.

It's just a dinner.

He never mentioned anything romantic.

You're obviously nervous, because you like him and if it doesn't go well you should continue to see him every day anyway.

In the end you decide to wear the dress anyway but to tone it down with a cardigan and a pair of boots, so as to make it look less like "please fuck me" style.

You shake your head, how much trouble are you going to for Joel Miller.

However, you have to admit that it's the first really exciting thing that's happened to you since you've been here. You thought that surviving was enough so you obviously never complained about it.

You fix your hair after drying it, you look at yourself in the mirror and you think that you're not that bad after all.

It's almost time, you leave the house and walk the few meters that separate you from Joel's house with your heart beating wildly in your chest.

You climb the few steps to his porch feeling insecure and stupid for accepting, who knows what you expect from this lonely man.

You shrug and knock on the door, snuggling into your cardigan in the cool evening air.

You consider going back and pretending you had a mishap, but Joel opens the door.

“Hey, come in” he smiles at you. You cross the threshold timidly as a delicious scent invades your nostrils.

Who knew Joel Miller could cook?

You follow him into the kitchen and Joel pours you a glass of wine.

“Where did you find this?” you ask in surprise. Wine is a luxury that you haven't been able to afford many times in Jackson, usually the only thing they bring back after searches and patrols are bottles of cheap whiskey.

“I found it two km from here in an abandoned shop. It was stuck under a shelf, probably for years”

“Oh, great”

“Well they say that aged wines are better. Like men, don't you agree?” He smiles, winking at you.

He winked.

Fuck.

You try to hide your surprise by taking a long sip from your glass.

While Joel is busy checking on the stew you take a look around the living room.

It's a nice house, simply furnished like all the houses in Jackson, tidy and clean.

There are some sheets with drawings on the coffee table in front of the couch. You know Joel made them because you've seen him several times on his porch busy drawing animals. A squirrel, a deer, a small bird. He's really good at it.

And obviously his guitar, resting on a stand in a corner near the couch.

In a totally cheesy way you would love to hear him play something for you.

“So, do you like wine?”

You turn and see that he is a few steps away from you, glass in hand.

“Uhm, yeah, it’s good”

He gives you a smile “stew is almost ready”

“Can I help you with something?”

“No, don’t worry, you’re the guest”

You see him linger with his gaze on your legs and up to your breasts and you think that the dress wasn't such a bad idea after all.

He is wearing a black t-shirt and a pair of dark blue jeans and is breathtaking.

You scan each other for a few seconds, without speaking. You are like two predators sniffing each other to see who will give in first.

“That dress looks good on you” he finally says and for the first time you notice that he is slightly embarrassed. He looks down at his glass and stares at it harder than necessary.

You still don't know why he invited you tonight but honestly at this point you don't even care. He's more handsome than ever, his hair still slightly damp from the shower and pulled back, that little scar on his cheek that you'd be eager to find out the story of, that smile he's giving you and his hands nervously gripping the glass, everything about him draws you in like a magnet.

"Thank you. You're not bad either." You giggle and you know that it’s definitely what you needed tonight. To feel attractive. To feel seen.

He comes back to the kitchen and after a few seconds he calls you “Dinner’s ready”

You sit at the table in the kitchen and he places a plate in front of you that smells of home, of memories and takes you back to when you were little and your mom cooked for you.

It's like Proust's madeleine.

Evoking sweet feelings with food is one of your favorite things to remember who you were, who you loved, and what was before this debacle.

It's melancholy but also comfort in a certain way, it's like holding on to the truest and most authentic part of you, the one that made you who you are today and probably allowed you to survive.

You take a bite as Joel looks at you in anticipation.

“Wow, this is good!” you exclaim “extremely good. Who knew that you were a chef”

“Ha! I’m really not, it’s just a stew and I’ve done it so many time that I can’t get it wrong at this point”

“It's still the best I've had in years, I need to get invited to dinner more often”

You chuckle and then you blush, because you've made it clear that you hope it's the first of many times.

Damn you.

You hadn't had a love interest in years, obviously, there wasn't time to think about that while the world burned and you had to fight to stay alive. But here, in this little bubble, where people have welcomed you and you have recovered crumbs of normality, it doesn't seem too stupid to feel something for Joel.

Is he grumpy? Sometimes. But he is also incredibly generous, to be honest. When you asked him, a formal contractor, to help you create the library he snorted, he told you that it wasn't necessary, that no one would ever go there anyway.

You shrugged and said that you would have done it anyway with or without his help, Maria had already given you permission.

The next morning you got up early to go and clean up the designated building and found him there, he was repairing a damaged window that wouldn't go up or down.

He grumbled when you asked him ironically what he was doing “someone has to stop you from opening a crumbling library”

You smiled, feeling your heart warm.

And so it was every day until the place was ready. Joel showed up early in the morning or in the evening, spent a few hours fixing the steps, eradicating moths, building shelves and cabinets, even a desk for you.

You've never talked in depth about your lives but you still know something you've heard through the grapevine. He's very secretive about his past so you never asked him any uncomfortable questions, the last thing you would want is for him to never share anything with you again.

The time he helped you with the library was the most enjoyable time you've had here so far and that's when you realized that your crush was more serious than expected.

“Do you want another glass of wine?”

“Why not, i don’t have to drive home”

He laughs “Yeah, no fines for you”

“At most a headache, but I'll think about that in the morning”

“Were you surprised when I invited you?”

he leaves you speechless for a moment and then you find, you don't know how, the strength to use irony, like you always do "I've known for a long time that you want me" you giggle and brush your hair away from your face while you say it.

"Oh yes? How strange, I actually thought it was the opposite” the smirk and the deep chuckle he gives to you goes straight to the most private part of you. Right there. It sits on your clit and you feel it tingling.

Fuck, this man.

You never experienced a flirty Joel Miller before and you were actually quite sure he wasn’t even capable of being so but he is.

“Oh shut up, finish eating” you scoff, feeling your cheeks turn on fire.

He lets go for a while and watches you amusedly fill your mouth with his stew.

“It's a pleasure to see you eat, little finch”

He started calling you that when you couldn't move the furniture in the library on your own. "I don't know how you thought you could manage on your own, little finch."

At first you hated it, now you pretend to hate it but you actually like it.

“Stop calling me that!” you still have to keep up a facade after all.

“Oh come on, finch is the cutest bird, don’t be offended”

“I’m no bird” you pout.

“Yep you are, finch. Delicate. Elegant. Pretty. You walk like you’re floating in the light air and your voice is a lovely chirping sound. It gets on my nerves sometimes, but I actually like it. A lot.”

Oh.

Oh, fuck.

You can't believe he said that.

You feel your heart melt like snow under the sun, your lips involuntarily curl into a smile, your hands tremble with the desire to touching him and between your legs a lustful heat invades you all over.

His face is relaxed, his eyes sparkle mischievously and his smile…his smile pins you to the chair.

You raise your glass in an attempt to drink some courage while he doesn't stop looking at you silently.

Just enough time to bring your lips close to the glass and you find yourself coughing, you're too distracted and the wine goes sideways.

Obviously.

You can't help but look like a fool in front of him, you don't even know how he thinks you're elegant.

“Jesus, are you okay?” he asks in alarm as he reaches up to wrap his arm around your back and pat you lightly.

To your surprise, his large, calloused hands can be very gentle.

“Oh my god, yes, yes I’m okay” you reply between coughs "I'll get over it now"

Now that he knows that you will survive he sits back down to his chair and scrutinizes you with an amused expression.

“Did I go too hard on you?”

“What? No, not all” you reply red-faced, while trying to regain some composure.

“Okay, if you say so” he places a hand on yours gripping the table “Has it passed?”

“Yeah, I think it is” You pour a little water into the other glass he has set and drink, this time slowly.

Finally you feel your breathing return to regularity and your cough gradually subside.“Thank goodness, little finch, think if I should have taken you to the doctor in that lovely dress” and laughs.

You've never seen him laugh so much.

He is intelligible most of the time but tonight he is an open book.

“What's wrong with this dress, Miller?” you ask, ironically, you may be clumsy but not to this point and you want to try to get back at him.

"Nothing. You don't see many of them in Jackson, that's all."

“It doesn't look like anything special to me,” you say, as you realize he's staring insistently at your tits. “Do you see anything special, Miller?”

He shrugs “It’s pretty low cut for nothing”

You bend over slightly, resting your forearms on the table smiling at him, exposing your boobs even more. He is sitting in front of you and still watching at them.

“You're pretty good at it after all, little finch” his eyes have become darker and it's as if a small flame is burning inside them.

You feel a certain pride rising in your chest.

“Now you look like the embarrassed one, Miller, have you seen how things have changed?” Your smirk doesn't go unnoticed by Joel who squirms in his seat as if it has suddenly become uncomfortable.

"Can you tell me something? Why did you invite me tonight?” you’re pushing him, and you know it. And actually, you like it, for once you feel like you have the upper hand.

“Isn't it obvious, finch?” he mutter.

“Maybe, but I'd like to hear it from you. Use your words, Miller, I know you can."

“When you asked me to help you to arrange the library I thought you were crazy. Then I realized I was wrong. It was a nice idea. It was a great idea actually. No one here can go anywhere anymore, and in any case there is nowhere you can go so it is comforting to know that there is always a way to take refuge elsewhere, at least for a few hours, reading a great book. So yes, finch, I like you. I like you because you gave us back some beauty.”

“Fuck Miller, you can make speeches whenever you want”

“It's just one of the reasons I like you, you’re also smart and thoughtful and gorgeous but yeah, that’s it, I’ve said it”

His gaze is languid, you'd almost say longing. Maybe you managed to scratch a small piece of the invisible armor he built to protect himself.

One moment you were bickering as usual and the next Joel fucking Miller left you speechless.

No sarcasm, not an ounce of irony, he sounds sensitive and vulnerable.

It's so strange to see him in this light, the only other time it happened to you you were in the library, he found a children's book and held it in his hands looking at it in silence.

For a moment you could have sworn you saw tears in his eyes, he looked helpless and hurt and then it was the usual Joel, complaining about the mess and the weight of the boxes you had made him lift that gave nightmares to his back.

You get up from the chair without even realizing it, as if it were an involuntary movement that your body needs.

You stop in front of him, who is still sitting, his arms abandoned on the table, his gaze following you questioningly.

You put a hand in his hair and let it run through his dark curls while he instinctively closes his eyes, abandoning himself completely under your touch.

You would like to say something but you don't want to ruin the moment and in any case you can't find any words suitable to describe how you feel.

Moved, yearning, grateful, overwhelmed?

All these things together at the same time.

You let your hand linger on the base of his neck, stroking softly

“Look at me” you whisper.

And his gaze turns, his whole body turns, and you've never seen him so clearly. He rests his large hands on your hips and his gaze pierces you as he lands on yours.

You feel his grip tighten as you lean over him and leave a shy kiss on his lips. Small. Brief. And another, instinctively. And yet another.

And another until his lips part on yours and fit perfectly in a long sigh. He tastes like wine and loneliness and desire.

It’s manly but tender and demanding for more.

Your tongues meet and it's like an electric shock that surprises you but at the same time it's inevitable like when two surfaces rub together generating energy, it is an unwritten physical law that holds you together despite having used all your strength to keep each other at a distance for months.

Now, all you can do is give up.

You kiss him like it's the last thing you do in your life, his eager hands roam your hips, gripping your ass and squeezing tightly.

He part from your lips just the time to stand up and wrapping you entirely in his arms, his mouth searching for yours again, eager, his hands stroking your back while you feel just like a little finch in the most comfortable nest you could find.

“God, I want you” he mutter in your ear nuzzling at your sensitive skin.

“Take me. Just… take me, Joel”

It’s a dreadful need that you feel deep in your bone, the last shred of love you could find in this broken world, a sweet feeling of release that you desperately wanted.

You can’t think straight and don’t want to.

He take off your cardigan and reaches for the hem of your dress and lifts it up roaming your thighs feverishly, squeezing and stroking, his fingers digging into your flesh as you moan softly into his ear. He pulls it up to your waist and you help slide it off your head.

He bends down to take off your boots and throws them on the floor in an unspecified place, then he gets up and takes you back in his arms. He's still dressed while you're almost naked and exposed in a pair of black lace panties and a matching bra. You might be intimidated but you're not. You let yourself be held and explored by his hands. His calloused fingers, rough but gentle, touch you everywhere, giving you goosebumps. He lifts a hand to one of your breast and squeezes it through the fabric.

You can't help but let out a muffled moan while he is filling his hand with your flesh.

“Do you like it, finch? Me squeezing your boob?” he says in a whisper, looking into your eyes.

“Y-yes” you mumble “give me more”

There's a smug, lecherous smile painted on his face as he reaches for your bra and unclasps it with a single gesture.

He slides it off and drops it on the kitchen floor. Your nipples stiffen in an instant, hit by the air, he takes one between his fingers and pinches it, pulling it gently and then his mouth is on it swirling his tongue and sucking it. You squirm at the sensation, digging your hand into his hair again, pushing his face into your breast “more, more” you stammer. You feel his smile spread across your skin and his teeth bite lightly into you.

“You’re ravenous, aren’t you?”

You pull his hair and tilt his face slightly to regain eye contact. “Do you mind?”

“Absolutely fucking not.”

“Good, you can continue doing what you were doing” you smile defiantly. You like to provoke him, especially now.

“You're bossy for a little finch, I like that”

he smiles back, his eyes shining bright with thrill and anticipation.

He returns to greedily licking and sucking like a thirsty man on your nipples, another loud moan escape from your lips.

“Fuck, you’re so good”

“I just started with you, you have no idea what awaits you” he whispers.

“Mmm then less talking, Miller, show me”

Without having to be told twice, he picks you up, much to your surprise, and places you on his couch in the living room.

“Woah, Miller, easy”

“You told me not to waste time talking” he shrugs. chuckling.

He pulls you to the edge of the couch “spread your legs”

You open your legs a little but he is visibly not satisfied, he takes your knees and opens them more "Like this. Now stay still” he orders.

He kneels between your thighs and pulls your panties aside.

You feel his fingers trail up your thigh, slowly, taking the time to slide lightly over your skin, causing you a mixture of tickling and excitement.

You writhe when you feel his index finger grazing your pussy lips, wandering up and down caressing for a little bit before sliding it between them and wetting it completely in your juices.

“You’re soaking wet, baby”

You can literally feel your cunt dripping when he keeps going up and down, briefly sinking into your hole with the tip of his finger and then on your clit, moving in circle with two fingers over your bundle of nerves.

You’re whining again, you’re growing impatient and he perfectly knows that

“Joel…”

“Yes, Finch?”

“You're doing it again”

“What”

“You know what. Do you want to torture me?”

"No. I just want you to beg me."

“God, you’re impossible” you roll your eyes out of exhaustion and arousal.

He stops completely.

“So are you, babe. Can you please let me do what I know best?”

He presses on your clit with two fingers and you squirm.

“Fuck. Okay”

He starts teasing your clit again, moving his fingers up and down to gather your wetness and spread it all over your lips.

“The thing is, finch, your pussy is so good. Look at her, I can’t rush it. She deserves to be loved nicely and slowly”

He is sitting on his heels just taking his time with you and you can’t be more eager to have him in your hole but you breath, resigned to wait for his pace.

He teases your entrance again, this time with two fingers, pushing in a little deeper.

His thumb is still taking care of your clit, moving a little faster than before.

“Eyes on me, babe”

And you do, you lock your eyes with his and you see hunger and lust and wonder.

He’s admiring you and you feel flattered.

He brings his face closer and sticks his tongue out, licking you from bottom to top and then again, letting it slide between your lips.

His beard is scratching you, his tongue stops on your clit swirling around it, jerking it slowly, again and again until you see him closing his lips on it and sucking gently.

He’s devouring you at this point and you mewl and cry and scream for more.

“Jesus - fuck - oh my goodness”

Your fingers are entwined into his curls and you’re pushing his face against you as much as you can, his tongue is fucking your hole now, he delves into you and lick all he can and you start to feel an incredible warmth rising from your core, in your tummy, to your chest.

He finally lets his index and middle finger sliding into you, pumping slowly in and out of your dripping wet cunt.

“Joel, oh my God I - ha! - I can’t, oh God”

“Yes, you can. Just like that, baby, give it to me” he whispers softly against your skin.

You’re on the verge of coming, the most incredible orgasm is knocking at your senses, overwhelming and brutally crushing into you.

“I’m com - oh GOD - yes,Joel, fuck”

He praises you again “come for me, soak my fingers, come on”

And you do. You gush all over his fingers like it was the last thing you do in the world, your legs shake and your heart reach an impossible pace that leaves you breathless.

He keeps licking and pumping into you until you calm and you can’t take your eyes off him bowed between your thighs, he drives you wild.

He stands up grunting at his poor knees and you giggle, he raises an eyebrow at you

“I wouldn't laugh considering the fact that I just made you scream my name”

He sits down on the couch next to you, circling your waist with his big strong arm and pushing you against him.

You bury your face in his chest “Aw, you’re so touchy, Miller” and you giggle again.

“You’re such a little brat.” He says, stroking your hair “But see? I wasn’t lying. It's been many years since I last did this but I still know what to do”

You raise your eyes at him “yeah, I give you that. You’re fucking good” and you place a kiss on the hairless part of his beard “but I-”

“What?” he interrupts you, looking at you maliciously

You bite your lower lip, feeling hot again just for the way he’s holding you tightly watching you with lust in his eyes.

“I want your cock”

“Oh. It’s time to beg, baby”

“Joel…”

“Beg for it, little finch” he’s smiling but his voice is firm and slightly authoritative

“I never beg” you scoff

“You will start now, sweetie, if you want to see me naked”

You look at him with exasperation, rolling your eyes immediately after “okay, Jesus. Can you please give me your cock?”

“Manners, babe. Ask gently”

You ask yourself what have you done wrong to fall for such an unbearable man “Good Lord”

“Beg with conviction”

“Joel Miller, could you do me the courtesy of fucking me? Please?”

You’re smirking hard. You definitely love to get on his nerves.

“You’re getting into trouble with this attitude, you know that?” He reaches one of your nipples and pinches it hard making you whimper into his arms.

You turn serious, looking him in the eyes intensely, licking your lip before saying “Fuck me, Joel. Please.”

“Mmm yes, just like that baby, it didn't take much”

He finally stands up in front of you. He takes off his shirt, revealing a strong, broad chest.

You can see a thin strip of hair disappearing under his jeans but apart from that he is almost hairless, his skin is delightfully dotted with freckles that make your mouth water.

He throws off his shirt and bends over to remove his boots.

Your eyes linger on his back, on his tense, rippling muscles, you can't believe how gorgeous he is, after all you think it was worth begging for this but you will never tell him.

He unzips his jeans and takes them off, remaining in his boxers. The sight of his deliciously soft tummy drives you completely insane. You’re craving him like you never did with anyone before.

“Kneel on the couch for me, baby” he orders and you immediately do, you turn your head just in time to see him taking off his boxers, freeing his already hard and swollen cock. Your knees sink into the pillows and your hands rest on the armrest, you are completely exposed to his will.

He gets behind you on his knees, gripping your hips and pulling you towards him.

“Fuck me Joel, please, fuck me now” you cry

“Such a good girl, begging for my cock like that. You learn quickly, little finch”

You only feel the tip poking at your entrance, he slides his cock against your dripping folds “Beg once more, babe”

You writhe, it’s more than you can take right now, you want him desperately.

“Please, Joel. Please” your voice sounds distraught but you don’t care, not now.

He enters you with a single thrust that makes you scream “Fuck!”

He’s big, so big that his cock burns in your center.

“I told you you were getting into trouble, baby, if you wanted me to be gentle you should have behaved better”

It's a small punishment you can bear, after a few seconds you already got used to his intrusion, you never felt so full before and right now you couldn’t ask for anything better.

He begins to move slowly, in and out of you, sinking deeper each time and reaching that spot that makes you see stars.

His loud grunts numb your head, his fingers dig into your hips as he thrusts into you, maybe he will leave some marks and the thought excite you even more.

“Oh God, please don’t stop, please”

He’s pounding into you incessantly, every thrust more deep leaving you short breath, you’re so wet that every lewd sounds coming from your cunt is making you feel like you’re on the brink of falling apart.

“Fuck, you look so pretty like that, babe, the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen, so perfect for me”

You whine even more at his praises, feeling your pussy clenching hard around his cock.

“Joel please I’m-”

“I know baby, I know, I can feel you, squeezing my cock just right, God you’re taking me so good”

You basically spasm on his cock right now, legs trembling as your sink your fingers in the fabric of the couch desperately trying to hold your posture.

He holds you tightly by your hips, grunting with each thrust into you, hitting your cervix again and again.

“Come for me baby, come all over my cock”

You’re quivering so hard that you almost think of being on the verge of losing your mind.

You cry his name feeling so full and dazed while your orgasm explodes inside you.

He pumps into you until you calm down but he’s still throbbing against your walls “Where do you want me?”

“On my tits - please”

He comes out of you and you lie down on his couch, his throbbing cock is in front of you, he takes it in his hand, milking it a couple of time before releasing his cum all over you. He moans loudly as he paints your tits and chest with his pleasure.

He lies down on top of you, groaning “God, this was amazing”

You feel his sticky seed spreading on your skin but you don't care, you wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him softly.

He moves to the side so as not to weigh you down and takes you in his arms again.

You hide your face for a moment in the crook of his neck, inhaling his woody, citrusy perfume, with a hint of the natural sweaty scent of his skin. He smells amazingly.

“I could get used to it” you giggle

“Me too, little finch” and he leaves a kiss on your hair.

“Oh, you made completely forgot about it, do you know what day it is today?”

“No, should I?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever told you. It’s my birthday.”

His eyes widen, “Really?”

“Yep”

“Well then happy birthday. Did you like your present?”

“It’s the best I’ve ever received”

You kiss him again, knowing how true it is.

“We should take a shower,” he laughs.

“Yeah, you’re… well…all over me…but to be honest, I like it.”

He smiles widely “Come on little finch, I might have another gift for you in the bathroom”

“Oh, then I can’t wait to unwrap it”

[jasntodds]

Petrichor [17]

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader (little bit of fwb)

Words: 12,212

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, angst, little bit of hurt/comfort, blood, gunshot, canon violence, mention of Jason pushing a serial rapist from a building

Summary: ❝Pylades: I’ll take care of you. Orestes: It’s rotten work. Pylades: Not to me. Not if it’s you.❞

Gotham is home, not just for Jason but for you, too. And now that you’re both finally back home, together, you’re ready to see where this next chapter brings the two of you. He’s your best friend and you’re his. And you both might want a little something more with being back home, the place you both feel most comfortable. Surely, nothing could possibly go wrong now.

A/N: I can't believe we're almost done with season 3 and then we can move onto season 4 (I have a plan) lol You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary  and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭

series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

You're still sitting on Jason's bed, eating a few of the granola bars he gave you and drinking water to gather the energy to make your way back to the manor. And for just this hour, it's peaceful. You're scrolling on your phone as it charges, just scrolling through Instagram and catching up on some things you've missed while also quickly scrolling away from whatever chaos about Gotham someone is posting. It's peaceful for once even when you know it won't be soon. It is nice. For right now.

But, then your phone starts vibrating before your scrolling is interrupted with a video taking up your entire screen. The screen is black for a few seconds before the Batman symbol appears on your screen as Crane's voice starts talking.

"Gotham City used to have a protector, a guardian angel." Crane's voice says as it switches to a red Titans symbol.

That's not good.

"But Batman abandoned Gotham and left Nightwing and his friends in his place." A screen showing every Titan, including Sam, shows up on the screen with "Titans wanted" at the bottom of the screen. Then it switches to a clip of Nightwing fighting. "And what has Nightwing done?" Crane asks as texts calling Nightwing a thief, liar, and a conman flash across the clip. "He's robbing you. Poisoning the very water you drink," The clip changes to one of Gar as a tiger, attacking someone. "The water you give your children. Nightwing is a criminal." The clip changes to one of Nightwing and Starfire blowing up one of the drum barrels that poisoned the water. "Protected by Gotham City Police. Only you can stop him. There will be a $50,000 reward paid to the person who brings him in. Dead or alive." The clip changes again to a clip of Gar changing into a tiger. "But take heart Gotham, a new hero will rise and you will know his name." The clip changes to Jason's Red Hood symbol with a picture of the helmet on top. "Red Hood."

"Oh fuck." You groan.

None of you can really catch a break for longer than five minutes. And you find yourself even more irritated that Crane had the audacity to think Jason would just go back to him after almost killing you. Crane really thinks you don't mean anything to each other and you swear that's his downfall, underestimating what you mean to each other. Because Crane doesn't know Jason isn't going to be on his side anymore. Though this video seems like it's going to complicate things.

It's been bad enough with Jason wanting Dick dead the last few weeks but now the entire city of Gotham is going to want him dead. Gothamites already aren't thrilled with the Titans and this going to push them over the edge. They're already upset Batman abandoned them after Robin was killed. It seems like the city didn't mean too much to Batman if he fucks off the second Robin is killed. Gotham has been absconded and Crane is going to use their distrust and distaste over the situation against the Titans.

You let out an annoyed huff before ripping your phone from the charger and grabbing another granola bar for the road. You have to get back to the manor before every citizen in Gotham decides to become a bounty hunter. You don't have your suit but you're thinking it might be safer to get the hell out of the city sooner rather than later.

When you get to the manor, it's empty. The manor has always had a way of seeming just a little too quiet. It's a big space with only a handful of people living in the halls at any given time. It didn't bother you much before, because Jason's voice tended to bounce off the walls, etch itself into the plaster. And with so many Titans around, it filled a bit of the silent void but today, as you walk in, it's quiet. The hairs on the back of your neck start to stand on end because, from your experience, quiet in a place that's not usually quiet, is bad. You grab a knife from your belt as you make your way, quietly into the Batcave.

With every step, you try to figure out why you're being so paranoid about this. It's the Batcave. No one outside of the Titans or Bruce would even be down here and the Titans are likely out trying to sort out the mess Crane just created for them. But, something in you grips your knife tighter as if it's some sort of sick reflex to always dread for the worst. Maybe that's growing to be a bit exhausting, too.

Your worry washes away as you enter the main area of the cave and see Dick standing in front of the Batcomputer with his arms crossed, his eyes glued to the monitor. You pocket your knife as you continue to walk closer to him, gaining his attention. A sense of relief pools at the bit of Dick's stomach to see you're alive and walking. It wasn't just Gar that was worried about what happened to you.

"Where the hell were you?" Dick questions, not skipping a beat.

"Walking." You shake your head, looking at the screens to see the other Titans fighting what seems to be civilians. "Given the broadcast Crane put out, do you really think it's such a good idea to have them fighting civilians?" You look up at Dick, a look of worry and sorrow washing over your tired features.

Dick gives you a harsh glare that softens the second his eyes meet yours. He shakes his head before looking back at the Batcomputer. You watch Kory fight someone and watch their body twist into positions it should not. The man gets up, foaming viciously from the mouth like a bad case of rabies.

"Kory." Dick warns.

"What the fuck did I miss?" You question as you scrunch your nose in disgust.

It has to be the water because the more you watch, it's as if this person is bending like a zombie from a movie or something. He won't stay down and he looks rabid but his bones are broken and it's as if he doesn't even notice. It almost reminds you of the Rage Virus from 28 Days Later, just without the blood.

Kory takes another hit to the man and this time he goes and stays down.

"A lot." Dick mutters. "Maybe it wasn't a good idea, me staying here."

"No, you got a fifty thousand dollar bounty on your head. It'd only make things worse." Kory says.

"I got another one." Gar says as a man with an axe starts to walk towards him and fight. "Oh, come on, Pal." Gar groans before he starts fighting this guy until he goes down.

"Looks like the worst of it is over." Dick says, not seeing any other civilians that look to be affected.

"Hold that thought." Kory says as more innocent civilians walk over but they all keep their distance from the Titans.

"Please, don't hurt us." A civilian yells.

"Shit." Dick mutters.

On the one hand, you're a little offended these people saw one video and immediately switched sides. But, on the other, Batman abandoned them and ever since Nightwing and the Titans showed up, Gotham has been more of a shitshow than usual. To some extent, you can kind of see why they're upset and distrusting of the Titans. It's also Crane who can manipulate most people. But you want to know where their sense of loyalty is. So many people just throw their loyalty to the side when one thing goes wrong. You think it's actually pretty sad.

"Everything's alright." Kory assures them.

"You're Titans, Nightwing's gang."

"No, we're not much of a gang, really. More like roommates." Gar says back, trying to make light of the situation the best he can.

"Just get the fuck out of here and leave us alone." Another civilian says.

"We're here to help." Conner says. "That video you saw, it's all lies."

"They're the reason the water's poisoned." A civilian yells.

"Kory, get em out of there." Dick states.

"He wants us to just leave?" Conner asks.

"I vote stay. Give them a good reminder of which side we're on." Blackfire says.

"If you stay, it'll only get worse." Dick says. "Get out. Now."

The Titans do as directed, leaving the people to themselves. You look up to Dick who just looks frustrated. It must be hard to make a call like that when he's been raised for years to always help. The people have always wanted his help. Now, they don't want anything to do with him or the Titans. The Titans became some sort of collateral damage in it. It can't be easy and you feel for him.

"So..." You clear your throat, breaking the silence. "You were right. He did plan to poison people but...he just outed that? And the GCPD also put out a warning anyway? So, most of the city isn't infected."

"Luckily. We just have bounties on our heads while we're dealing with this." Dick lets out a scoff. "Do you want to explain what the hell happened last night?" Dick looks back at you with the raise of his brows, a look you're kind of tired of receiving. It's always the look of disappointment that makes you feel guilty.

"Well...I just...I just wanted to make sure you weren't gonna attack Jason so I went. And then, uh, I ran into Tim who was following Jason." You explain, earning a look screaming 'told you so' from Dick. "Crane was there first though, picked up a gun, and then he shot us." You look to the floor, your heart still feeling like it's filled with lead at the thought of Tim lying on the ground. "And I told Jason to run when he showed up because I knew you'd blame him because you always do. Took some convincing but he listened and I said I'd talk to you. It was all Crane. Not Jason." You nod your head once. "Then...I just-just couldn't do so I left and walked around. I ended up at Jason's a couple hours ago."

Dick nods his head with understanding. As much as he would appreciate you listening to him every once in awhile, he's starting to accept that you're going to do what's best for you and Jason regardless on what he says. Some part of him might find some part of that at least admirable. At least someone here has some loyalty, even if it ends up hurting the Titans. Most of him is still annoyed though and really wants you to understand that what he does and says is for everyone's best interest. Jason included most of the time. But, he is glad you're okay.

"So Crane shot the both of you because you were there?" Dick asks for clarity.

"Basically. I think he really just wants me dead but Tim was there. Which, uh...h-how is-is he?" You ask, dodging Dick's face.

"I don't know." Dick answers honestly. "He had a pulse when the ambulance took him."

"Cool." You nod softly, knowing you'll need to find your way to the hospital or Excellent Gotham later to find out how he is. "So, um...Jason's still on our side, by the way."

"Are you sure?"

You nod. "Yeah, Crane shot me and tried to kill me." You offer a wide smile. "He's a dead man walking now." You offer a chuckle. "So, he's working with Crane now to try and find out what his next step is. Poisoning the water system can't be his only plan, especially with that video. Jason wasn't gone long enough to have shit to do with it so he's got something else planned and Jason's going to try and get it out of him by pretending to be on his side."

Dick pauses, squinting his eyes at you before he looks back to the monitor. He doesn't like it because he's not sure they can trust Jason. You can all you want. You haven't been Jason's target the last two weeks. But, if this works, at least they have someone on the inside.

"What makes you think Crane will believe Jason is still with him?" Dick asks. "If you've been someone Crane has wanted dead and Jason refused, why would that suddenly change?"

"Because Crane is an arrogant ass." You quip right back. "He already had that video ready to go. He knew Jason would come back to him regardless. Though, I think he might have thought I'd die and I didn't. But, with the video up, I think Crane thinks he still has Jason. Also, Jason is more than willing to convince him just to tear him down later. Revenge is great motivation." You nod your head with confidence.

"Right." Dick nods his head, looking a bit displeased with your last words. "Alright, fine." Dick agrees knowing having Jason not trying to kill them is a lot better than nothing. "Where does that leave you then? I need to know where you plan to stand with everything that's happening."

"Since Crane grouped me with you guys, I'm with you and yes, I will listen." You roll your eyes.

"Yeah, I've heard that before." Dick snarks back.

"Yeah." You laugh softly. "Well, I'm with you guys. Gotta be anyway. Gotta make Crane think me and Jason are on opposite sides." You shrug your good shoulder.

Dick nods softly. "Alright." He clears his throat. "You're gonna stick with Gar this time."

"Stick with Gar." You echo.

"Good." Dick nods his head, grabbing his jacket from the chair. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." You nod your head quickly. "Uh...Jason helped. He, uh, he got the bullet out and everything so I'm good." You offer him a thumbs-up with a closed-mouth smile.

"Okay, good. I'm glad you're okay." Dick nods once. "I'm going to meet with Babs, the Titans are on their way back. Stay here until they get back and fill them in."

"Will do, Dickolas." You nod your head once, sucking in a breath before Dick shakes his head and heads out of the Batcave.

When the Titans get back, you fill them in just as Dick asked you to. They aren't too happy about being pulled out from the streets but they also understand Dick's point of view of the situation. Everyone just hopes his meeting with Babs is to think of some sort of plan to get the city back. So, while you all wait for Dick to get back and tell you the next move, Gar shows you some of the things he's found about the Lazarus Pit including Bruce's notes about Ra's al Ghul. It doesn't say where the Pit is. It does say there are more but Bruce had sealed most of them off. That's all Gar really got so the two of you dive in to find out if you can find out how Ra's made it and what else it could be used for. It doesn't sit right with either of you that Jason was brought back to life using the Pit but no one even knows where it is or how it works or how it was created. So, you search as you wait.

When Dick comes back, he gathers everyone in the living room for a meeting. He stands in front of the main living area while everyone is scattered around, standing and waiting for what he has to say. Dick then explains that him and Babs think it's in everyone's best interest if the Titans turn themselves in. The room falls deadly silent with his words, everyone mostly looking at each other before looking back to Dick. According to Dick, it's for the best and it'll be just a show.

"So, we turn ourselves in and then what?" Gar asks.

"And then we post bail." Dick says. "Continue doing our work but in a less public way. Work in the shadows. Take the city back night by night. It's not gonna be easy and it's not gonna be fast but we can do it. If you have a better idea, please now's the time." Dick gestures a hand to the room before crossing his arms.

"They hate us." Gar says softly, voice etched in hints of defeat.

"They've been manipulated into hating us by Crane." Kory corrects.

"Y/n, Conner, Blackfire, what do you think?" Dick asks.

"It was brutal out there. I don't want to be looked at like that again." Conner says, his voice almost matching Gar's.

"Well, surrender isn't my thing. But I am used to people looking at me like I'm a monster so whatever you all decide on, I'm in." Blackfire states.

You hang your head and you think it's a horrible idea. You trust Babs, absolutely but there are parts of the GCPD that have been corrupt long before and long before her dad and long before Barnes. It doesn't matter how good someone's intentions are in the GCPD because there are always others within the PD who don't care about the greater good or what's good for even themselves. If anyone should know that, it should be the former detective. Does Dick really think him and Babs can just protect all of you? If people in the GCPD were corrupt before, they're going to be corrupt now. Crane got the entire city to hate all of you with one video, how do you all know Crane doesn't have eyes in the department?

"I think it's a bad idea." You say quietly.

"You weren't out there." Conner states.

"No, I know." You nod your head. "And I don't care if people look at me like that. They look anyway." You say softly, tugging your sleeve over your hands. "I just...we trust Babs but does Babs trust every single person in the department?" You look back at Dick.

"We won't be dealing with everyone. It'll be a select few to put on a show, make it seem legit." Dick explains. "You're just coming to our side. It's up to you if you want to go through with this."

You look to Gar and maybe it's against your better judgment but they are your friends, your family. You've done everything to protect Jason and it seems like that might be fixing itself now. Which means you need to fix your own relations with the Titans. And that, for you, means following Dick even if you think it's a bad idea. Plus, you really need to sell you being with the Titans, at least for Jason's own safety against Crane. You don't want him getting wind of Jason not actually being on his side.

"No, I'll do it." You nod your head, earning a quick look from Gar, surprised you agreed. "You just have to be sure this is going to be safe. I trust Babs. I don't trust any other person in that entire department."

"Why not?" Conner asks.

You look to Conner and you don't want to burst his bubble into trusting this plan. You will happily pop the bubble of police for him later. "Just don't." You keep it short.

"It'll be safe." Dick assures you.

"Alright then." You agree.

"Kory?" Dick asks.

"We've played it by the book so far and this is where it's led us. So, maybe you're right. Maybe we try a new way. I'm in." Kory says.

"Alright then, let's suit up." Dick states. "We go in together. As a team. As a family."

While Dick was busy talking with the Titans about turning yourselves in, Jason is the one who started to panic with pure rage. After Jason's managed to convince Crane that they're still good and Jason agrees with him, Crane got word from one of his moles in the department. The commissioner is setting up for the Titans to be "arrested" and then let you all post bail. The commissioner is in on it but Crane was prepared for that. The commissioner has always had a hand in helping Batman and company. So, when Crane gets word, he sends Jason with a bag full of money to pay this mole off with several of the other cops who ride with him to take in the Titans. Override the commissioner. Bring the Titans to Crane.

If Crane gets the Titans, with everything in the Batcave, that's where Jason's worry comes in. The Titans still stand a good chance but if Crane gets all of these guys to go with him and given how unlucky the Titans have been lately, Jason is growing more and more concerned. If Crane has the Titans, the city goes to Hell. It will be destroyed. Jason doesn't know what else Caane is planning but he does know whatever it is, it's not for the greater good of the city. So, he does what Crane asks him, hoping he'll be able to call the Titans to call it off. Maybe Dick will say the others didn't want any part of it. Or maybe you will back out of it if you even agreed to it in the first place and then you and Jason can figure something out. So, once the deal is done and the plan is set into motion, Jason calls you.

But, as his own luck would have it, you don't answer. It rings and rings and then just goes to voicemail. His best guess? Dick has already set the plan into motion with all of you and you're preparing to turn yourselves in. You're going to side with Dick to make this whole thing believable even though Jason figures you're against this whole plan. You're too smart to fall for something like this. You'll go overprepared but you'll be the only one. So, Jason keeps calling, desperate to warn you and he tries Dick but that goes to voicemail, too. He tries Gar and nothing. None of you are answering your phones which leaves him two choices.

Keep trying until one of you picks up and hope for the best. Or, he can go to GCPD himself to try and warn you -- or help if he's too late.

Once all of you are suited up and ready to go, Dick goes over the plan one more time just for extra clarity to make sure everyone is on the same page. All of you are going to pile into some SUVs, ride over, walk in, and then Babs will take it from there having you all be fake processed and the bail will be fake. Then, all of you get to go right back to the manor. In and out. It seems simple but no part of this has been simple. But, none of you argue. All of you nod along and once it's time, you pile into the SUVs just as Dick said.

You hop into the SUV with Gar, Conner, Blackfire, and Krypto while Kory and Dick take the other SUV. Krypto sits in between you and Gar in the back while Conner drives and Blackfire takes passenger. You find yourself watching the city pass by on the drive, your stomach twisting into knots. The last time you were arrested, you ended up with Jerry. This whole thing just seems like such a bad idea. And if it is and you have to fight back, that's even worse. That's just a bigger target on your backs if you can get out of there in one piece. There just had to be another way to win the city back. The city wasn't always on Batman's side.

"On Tamaran, it is called The Pit." Blackfire starts, pulling you from your thoughts. "It's dark. So dark, you cannot even see your hand." She explains, making you and Gar both look to your hands and then at each other.

Conner picks up her hand, intertwining his fingers with hers. "It isn't like that here." Conner says. "Right?" Conner looks in the rearview mirror for reassurance from Gar and you.

"Right." Gar starts. "I-it's totally not like that. It's gonna be fine." Gar offers a smile but you swear it's incredibly unconvincing. "Dick and Barabara have a plan. We're just going to go in and out. This is really just all for show." Gar explains, looking to you for reassurance. And now you just think he's trying to convince himself.

"Yeah, it's really not like that." You add in. It isn't like The Pit. It's not great and it sucks. There is a lot of unfairness and cruelty but it's not The Pit. And you think telling Blackfire everything about the corruption among the GCPD, probably won't help the situation. "I've been for real arrested once. It's not like The Pit." You explain, omitting every other detail.

"We'll be together the whole time. I've got you." Conner assures Blackfire with a calm but firm tone. "I promise." He glances over to her with a soft smile as you catch him squeeze her hand.

You smile softly because for all anyone knows, this isn't going to work out. Nothing has gone to plan but Conner still offers reassurance anyway and it's kind of sweet to watch. Gar offers a chuckle, catching the smile on your lips. It earns him a light shove with the roll of your eyes. It's just nice seeing the two of them unbothered by everything that's happening. It's maybe even a little cathartic in a weird way.

Within a few more minutes, both SUVs pull up to the back of the GCPD. There are snipers on the roof and several GCPD officers standing guard with full swat gear outside of the doors. This is supposed to be for show but you're really not buying it. This is a lot of people for something that's supposed to be fake.

Everyone starts to get out of their vehicles, you meeting up with Gar in the front of the SUV.

"You okay?" Gar whispers. "I mean, we trust Barbara." Gar nods his head, his brows raised as if looking for some form of reassurance from you. This isn't sitting right with him either.

"Yeah." You shake your head, eyeing one of the snipers on top of the roof. There are ten total and you start to think of an exit strategy to avoid them or take them out on your way if it comes to it. "If shit goes south, get out of here immediately. I'll be right behind you and stay close to the building until you reach the back alley. Less light and I didn't see snipers over there." You whisper back, pulling your attention right back to Gar.

Gar gulps, looking up at the roof where the guns are pointed right at you. "That wasn't reassuring." Gar almost whines as he looks back to you.

"Wasn't supposed to be." You shake your head, as you chew the inside of your cheek before you start walking. Gar follows right behind you until he's walking side-by-side.

The two of you fall in line right behind Kory and Dick while Conner, Blackfire, and Krypto follow Gar and you. As you all make your way to the entrance, every single person with a gun, trains their weapons on all of you. The Titans are the targets and these people are just waiting for the signal to start shooting. That's what it feels like. Being a vigilante is illegal, technically, but this is...a lot.

"This seems excessive." Kory states as all of you enter the building, passing by even more men with guns and swat gear.

"Barbara cleared it with me." Dick states. "It's all for show. They need to stand their ground." Dick states and you roll your eyes. Basically, they need to stroke cops' egos. What else is new?

"This is just optics, right?" Gar asks Dick, the growing pit in his stomach is starting to bubble. Gar doesn't normally second guess Dick's plans but tonight, he is. This seems wrong.

"Optics." Dick confirms calmly.

The Titans stand on the main level, looking up to the second floor where Babs and one of her right hands is standing beside her looking over the railing. There are cops on all sides of you and above you, covered in their swat gear with shields. Dick can say it's optics all he wants but you're getting a really bad feeling about this one. And then Blackfire bumps into you, making you and Gar turn around. One of the cops, used his shield to bump her and Conner used his superspeed to immediately be at Blackfire's side.

"Back off." Conner threatens, standing toe-to-toe with the cop that shoved her.

This is bad.

This is bad.

This is about to be really, really bad.

You look around as the cops start to slowly close in on all of you. This is not good. If this is optics and a show, they've done it. The show has been shown and it's time to get the hell out of here and finish the plan. There is no reason for them to be approaching the Titans. Not if they're on Barbara's side.

Dick sticks out of his hand, easing them away but it's not working. They're not going to listen to him. They just keep closing in with their shields and weapons pointed right at all of you. The Titans might not be here for a fight, but very clearly, the GCPD definitely is.

"Easy. We're not here for a fight." Dick states, keeping his voice calm but stern as to not piss anyone off.

"Move in." One of the men up top states, demanding the entire room.

Everything falls into slow motion as you look up to him, the other Titans and Barbara doing the same. It's as if everything starts to crumble at your feet. You are severely outnumbered and outgunned. This was a bad idea and you knew it was. It shouldn't have been but no one can trust people outside Barbara. That's how it is and now you're all trapped in this mess.

The cops start to close in, shoving all of the Titans. They try to shove you into smaller sections in order to separate you but you stand in between Gar and Dick as your hands form into fists. Your eyes scan the room quickly and there are fewer men up top. You could get up there and escape pretty easily with the grappling hook.

"Stand down!" Barbara yells but they aren't listening. They don't work for her anymore.

"There." You whisper to Gar, looking up to the second floor. "When you get the chance, get up there."

"What?" Gar questions quickly.

"They'll be too distracted by what's happening on the floor. You can get up there easily as a tiger and I can follow you." You nod your head once at him, reaching for a knife from your utility belt as you prepare for your own opening the second things start to turn violent.

This isn't going to be peaceful. Gar sees the knife in your hand, your hand gripping it tightly and he wonders when you became so prepared for everything to go south. He wonders if it's just trauma build-up like a clogged artery preparing for a heart attack or if this is a Bruce thing or maybe even a Jason thing. You never came here with any form of optimism.

Conner holds some of them off while others start to crowd Gar and you. Dick is entirely covered in cops before he shoves them off of him but then a gunshot rings out through the GCPD, Conner stopping the bullet with his hand. You, Gar, and Kory look over just in time to see the cop fire a second bullet and this time, it hits Blackfire.

"No!" Kory yells.

And that's when all hell breaks loose. Conner starts attacking the cop that shot Blackfire while the other cops jump in to attack the rest of you. Three go for you but you're quicker than they are, already having your free hand glow at your side. They're covered in protective gear and with the shield, you know you're not going to make any good shots with a knife. Desperate times, desperate measures. So, you pocket the knife and your other hand glows before you shoot acid at one of the men and the shield starts to melt. The other men keep coming closer, you punching and kicking them before you touch them with your hands, the acid melting right through their uniforms as they let out blood-curdling screams. The fabric and plastic becomes burned into their skin, sending them to the ground in agonizing pain.

Once those men are down, you jump in to help Gar so he can transform. You distract them and fight them until Gar jumps from behind you and then in front of you, fully turned into a green tiger. You can feel the bullet wound slowing you down. It's aching and throbbing, taking more of your energy you could really use right about now. And you swear you can feel blood leaking from the wound and down your arm as you land a right hook to one of the cops. That's when you hear that same guy above you, telling his men to shoot Gar.

"You gotta get out of here." You urge, shooting a hand full of acid at another man and melting his shield.

But, it's too late, as Gar defends himself, a tranquilizer is shot right out at him and he lets out a growl in response. This is just like the tower. Outnumbered. Outgunned. Even with the other Titans, you don't stand a chance. You can hear the other Titans fighting, getting a glimpse of the fire coming from Kory and Dick and Conner fighting hard. All of you need to get out of here.

"Go!" You point to the top, right where the man is. "Go, I'll be right behind you." You hold off the other men, giving Gar time to jump to the second level and head towards the exit.

You follow him, shooting your grappling hook to the top. The man pulls out his gun just as you reach him. With your feet planted on the floor, you put your hands up, the throbbing the front of your head echoing like a beating drum. He cowered when Gar jumped up here. You are fully confident even with a bum shoulder you could wrestle that gun from him with ease.

"Put the gun down!" You hear Barbara yell and that's when his eyes dart to her for just a second, giving you the perfect opportunity.

You lunge forward, grabbing the gun and then his wrist, twisting his arm. You squeeze and turn, just as Jason had taught you in several of your training sessions and then he drops the gun. You grab it before he even has a chance and you turn the gun on him.

One pull of the trigger and he's dead. That's all it would take. And you're ready to do it. All of the fighting is happening below you and yeah, maybe this guy is just under Crane's shit. But, you're really sick of it. He's not high. He's not drugged. He didn't have to join Crane but he did and he just got Gar shot. It feels like minutes as you almost debate shooting him at point-blank range but it's been five seconds. Five seconds for Barbara to realize you might not back down. Five seconds for the shooter behind you to aim his own gun at your back, kickstarting the throbbing in the back of your head.

"Bluejay!" Barbara yells and you grit your teeth.

Fine.

You spin around, aiming the gun at the shooter's leg and shoot just once. It sends him to the ground and then you take off, not leaving the gun behind. You're real sick of people hurting the people you care about. He was going to shoot you on your way out anyway. Do or die. Kill or be killed.

You find Gar outside, limping as the tranquilizer is starting to take effect. He's not going to make it far and Sam needs to find somewhere for him to go. There has to be somewhere near here. And that's when she realizes...Gar isn't shot. Besides the tranquilizer. Sam looks up, not seeing a single sniper or cop on the roof and then she looks around the parking lot, not seeing anyone here either.

What the fuck?

That's weird given how many were here when the Titans arrived. That also cannot possibly be good. You roll your eyes and decide you both just need to get out of here and you'll find somewhere on the way. There's a tunnel entrance not far and you're pretty sure you and Gar can hide there until you think of a better place.

"Follow me, we're gonna go to the tunnels." You whisper to him as the two of you head for the alley that leads out to a side street.

The two of you run off to the alley, Gar slower than usual and your cape flowing behind you. Your shoulder is aching and you can feel the adrenaline wanting to crash. You're certain now that it's bleeding and your hand is shaking. Your entire arm is shaking. Gar isn't the only one who needs to take a breather.

The two of you exit through the alley and make your way on a sidewalk. You know if you take the sidewalk down to the intersection, you can cross over and head into an alley on that side of the street. The tunnel entrance will only be a block away and you'll be on the right side of the street.

But just as you and Gar go to walk past an alley right before the intersection, your head throbs from the side right before someone grabs your arm, yanking you into the alley. You fight back until the person spins you around and then you stop as relief comes over you.

"It's me. It's fine." Jason urges through the helmet just as Gar walks into the alley having seen you get grabbed by Jason.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" You spit back.

"You guys have to get the fuck off the streets. They'll be looking for you. Come with me." Jason urges you and Gar, trying to walk past but you and Gar block him.

"Answer me, Jason." Your eyes are narrowed at him and without seeing your mouth, Jason knows you're gritting your teeth behind the mask.

"I'll explain but let me get you guys somewhere safe first. You think those snipers just went on a fucking coffee run?" Jason quips back making you look to the Gar. Gar shakes his head and you let out a breath.

"You?" You ask, your eyes narrowing. How the fuck did he know to be there?

Jason nods. "Let's go before they show up." Jason's voice is stern and almost forceful as he walks past them.

Jason leads the two of you across the street and down a different alley. You exclusively take alleys and you're just relieved they clearly used a tranquilizer that wasn't as potent as the one CADMUS used. Gar is still slowing down but he's at least awake. But, you're still stuck trying to figure out how Jason knew and why he didn't do anything about it. You were all just attacked and you all could have been killed. He knew though. Pretending to be with Crane doesn't mean screwing the Titans over. You know there is probably an explanation but right now, you're pissed off and scared and in pain.

You reach an abandoned building and Jason opens the door in the back for the three of you. The three of you make your way upstairs and into a room with boarded-up windows. This place doesn't have any type of belongings but you're willing to bet Jason is hoarding the place. Jason would probably never not have a place to go after everything. Gar practically collapses on the floor before he starts to transform back into himself.

"Sleep it off. I'll wait until things calm down and I'll go looking for Dick and Kory, okay?" You crouch down to Gar as you put a hand on his shoulder.

"You okay?" Gar gets out with a labored breath.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Better at this now." You offer a nod and if Gar weren't so exhausted from the tranquilizer, he'd be worried about why you're suddenly better at it. Maybe Gotham does change people. It's something Dick warned the Titans about. Gotham eats people alive.

"Are you sure?" Gar's words start to slur together just a little.

"Yeah." You nod your head and offer him a soft smile. "Just...sleep, okay? I'll find you clothes, too."

Gar's face starts to burn. "Okay." Gar nods his head, plopping down on the floor as the tranquilizer finally kicks in entirely.

"Here." Jason offers a blanket of some sort and you use it to cover Gar before you get to your feet.

"He'll be out awhile." You say softly, a sadness coating your words.

There's almost a numbness that's coming with this territory. You wonder if this is how Bruce has done it for so long, maybe that's why Bruce is the way he is. His parents were killed in front of him and then...here he is. Batman, vengeance. Maybe in order for him to be Batman, he has to be numb to it, to the pain of what comes with being a hero. Maybe he's let some of that numbness leak into his personal life and that's why he was the way he was with Dick and why he tried to be better with Jason but still failed. You wonder if he just numbs it all in order to keep going. And maybe that's not entirely Bruce's fault. Because you don't want to be numb about everything.

The pain is the worst part but outside of pain, Bruce seems to push things away and maybe that's still how he can be Batman. Maybe it wasn't always like that but bad things happen. You don't want that. It's just, you're standing here with Jason and you're annoyed with him but you're not even that mad anymore. You're tired, your shoulder hurts but emotionally, the only thing you really feel right now is worry. Worry for Gar and the Titans. That's it. That doesn't feel too good either.

Jason nods his head before he looks to the floor. He looks back to the window and then to you, nodding his head toward the window. The two of you head over to the boarded window, taking a seat below it. Jason takes his helmet off, resting it beside him as he stretches his legs out in front of him. The white streak flops onto his forehead, you getting the slightest hit of a smile at the sight.

You follow his lead, taking your own mask off as you pull your legs to your chest. You rest your head against the boards, closing your eyes as you take in a breath. Jason watches you carefully, seeing a slight tremor in your hand of the shoulder that was shot as you rest your forearms on your knees. There's a mark near your temple that looks like it might be forming into a bruise. But, that's it. Jason doesn't see anything too bad. GCPD has never been very good at taking out vigilantes. It's not really their thing which Jason is thankful for. But, he really wishes he weren't too late.

It's not his fault. He's trying to work Crane and part of that is still doing his dirty work. He had no choice but the second he could, he tried his absolute hardest to warn the Titans. It just wasn't enough. It's another really hard pill to swallow. Working with Crane is his biggest mistake. Everything is a mess and that, that part is on him. He is desperate for it all just to come to an end.

"Oh, here." You mutter, pulling the gun from your utility belt. You hand it over with caution, Jason noticing the tremor worse as he takes the gun from you. Jason blinks at you and then at the gun, trying to find the right question. "Wrestled it from a piece of shit who caused this shit, shot the piece of shit that shot Gar, then I took it."

Jason shakes his head as his eyes close for a second, growing confused. Desperate times, desperate measures. He entirely understands how you ended up with the gun. That's not really the question he has now. It's you shooting someone. Your hands are shaking and your hands very rarely ever shake after a fight. It's one of the things Jason finds the most interesting. It's your steady hands before, during, and after heavy conflicts. He was like that, too and then Deathstroke happened but now they're shaking a lot. And something looks really wrong which could also just be what happened at the station. But, Jason wonders if it's the use of a gun. You always said you weren't a fan of using them.

"You shot someone?" Jason raises a brow at you as you read the disbelief on his face.

"I mean, yeah? You shoot people." You scoff, looking forward again. "I wrestled the gun away, had it aimed at the guy and Babs yelled at me. So, I turned and shot the guy who was about to shoot me who also shot Gar. Had it in my hand, might as well." You clear your throat, still dodging Jason's stare. "I didn't have a choice. He was gonna shoot me if I didn't do something." You state quietly as you chew the inside of your cheek.

It's really not the gun. The way you see it, it's really not that different than you throwing a knife at someone's head. It kills them all the same. It's not all that different than you throwing a knife at someone's leg. It wounds them all the same. It doesn't matter. It is just everything from the last two weeks. You really hate not having the choice to walk away. You might still pick the violent answer, but you'd like a choice. You would like a choice in the way your life goes.

"Alright." Jason nods his head before he shakes it. "Why the fuck did you take it with you?" Jason asks. You know these guns can be tracked. It's police issued.

"Fuck them." You state. "If I left it, they'd shoot me. So I took it to give to you to get rid of. Or I'll throw it in the Harbor out of spite."

"Right." Jason nods his head. "Shot someone? Using my R blades? Combat? Got a cape? You really are following in my footsteps, huh?" Jason offers you a teasing grin to try and lighten your mood, just a little bit. He just hates seeing you like this.

You narrow your eyes at him but Jason catches you starting to smirk. "You're really good at this." You roll your eyes. "Be stupid not to take notes. That's what you told me to do anyway."

Jason lets out a soft chuckle. "Can't believe you fucking listened."

"Yeah, it is a rarity." You quip before you look at him, lifting your head up. While this is nice discussing your own motives, you'd love to turn it around now. Jason knew to be there and when. That sounds like a problem. "You wanna tell me what the fuck?"

"Crane." Jason lets out a scoff. It's his turn to turn his attention forward. "Had me pay off one of the guys to turn on Babs, turn the whole department. Then, take all of you guys to him." Jason looks back at you, his face reading blatant annoyance.

"And you didn't warn me?" You shake your head in disbelief, the question coming out more as a demand -- an accusation.

"No! I tried! You, Dick, and Gar didn't answer!" Jason defends himself as he turns to face you. "I'd never let you walk in there if I had a choice. I tried. And when I got there, you were already inside. So, took out the snipers." Jason shrugs his shoulders. "The Titans against the GCPD?" Jason lets out a scoff. "I figured you'd all be fine inside but I didn't leave until I saw you and Gar. I was gonna go in to help when I heard the fighting but you and Gar walked out."

You nod your head before you pull out the burner and sure enough, you have three missed calls. That makes you feel a lot better. No part of you ever really believed Jason wouldn't at least try to warn you. You are relieved though, that even when things are messy as all hell, he still has your back. He always did but tonight just feels different.

"Took out?" You raise a brow.

"Knocked them out." Jason nods with a single nod.

"You know they're gonna tell Crane Red Hood got them, right?" You question, wondering how he plans to get himself out of it. And maybe you're a little relieved. You really hate him working with Crane still even if it was your idea.

"Thought of that." Jason says through a chuckle. "Wore a different mask, put on a different hoodie. They won't know any better. I was in and out anyway." Jason offers with confidence, clearly proud to do this work.

You shake your head but give Jason a gentle smile. "Well, thank you for risking it anyway. And for trying to warn us."

"Always." Jason nods his head right back, a toothy smile on display. It's a warm smile this time. "You alright, though?" Jason asks.

"Uh...yeah, I-I uh, I think I'm bleeding again." You state, looking to your shoulder and then back to him.

"Let me see." Jason states, gesturing his hand for you to lean forward.

You lean forward as Jason unzips your suit in the back and pulls down the shoulder part of your suit. Sure enough, the wound has bled through the gauze and there's blood everywhere he can see. Jason's heart jumps to his throat. It's been hours and the wound isn't that bad. For there to be this much blood in such a short amount of time, you had to be fighting like hell to get out of there. And you did it while looking out for Gar. And Jason gets a proud smile.

"What?" You raise a brow at him, wondering why the blood is making him smile.

"Trained you well." Jason states softly, confidence and pride etched into those three words.

"Shut up." You groan. "You would take credit for it." You let out a soft laugh.

"Well, if it weren't for me, you'd get your ass kicked." Jason quips right back. "So...you're welcome." Jason gives you a smirk.

Your eyes narrow before you roll them. "Yes, thank you so much. I would just be in so much distress if not for you. Please, where would I be?!" You fake a loud whine, the sarcasm spilling from your lips.

"Arrested." Jason answers plainly as he blinks at you.

You nod your head. "Fuck you." You shrug as you widen your eyes, earning a laugh from Jason.

"Oh, well in that case, I don't have to help you now. Ya know, if you don't need my help or anything." Jason sits back, his signature smirk crossing his face.

You let out a sigh, giving him a fake glare. "You won't let me bleed out." You state with confidence. "Where would you be without me? I'm the only one who plays your games." You offer him the same smirk.

Jason gives you a single nod. "Because I play yours." Jason quips.

"Which brings us back to you not letting me bleed out." You grin at him.

"You're really confident in that." Jason nods his head, knowing damn well you're not going to bleed out.

"I'm always confident in your abilities to not let something really bad happen to me." You say softly but there's a smirk on your face. It almost reads as a joke but Jason can tell by the sweetness in your voice and how quietly you said it that it's true. Even if you only said it out loud to mess with him.

Jason fake groans. "Alright. Fine." Jason says dramatically. "Guess I'll be fucking nice and help."

"You were going to anyway." You let out a soft laugh that makes Jason's stomach spin.

"Yeah..." Jason says softly, his smile turning soft as he scoots back over to you. "How many you take down anyways?" Jason asks as he pulls the gauze off.

"I lost count." You state. "There were a lot of them though. Uh, one of them shot Blackfire though. I think Kory was trying to get out with her. Dick and Conner were still fighting when we left though."

"I saw them follow you guys out." Jason assures you. "They're alright."

A surprised but kind smile starts to come to your lips. "Did you watch for them?" You ask.

Jason shrugs. "Saw you were alright and Gar, so maybe yeah. I just hung out a minute to make sure the others got out. Kory was with Blackfire and Dick was with Conner and Krypto. Blackfire was the only one who looked hurt." Jason explains as he grabs a gauze pad from his pockets.

"Didn't help though?"

"You know there's no fucking way in hell Kory would have let me." Jason quips back.

"Yeah...." You let out a sigh. "That's probably true." You nod as Jason sticks the gauze pad to the wound. "You just carrying first aid stuff now?"

"Just being prepared." Jason chuckles. "You should be proud." Jason nods up at you once the gauze is stuck and in place. "You should be okay. Here." Jason pulls another gauze pad out. "Just in case."

"Thanks, Jay." You take it, the shaking in your hands not as prominent now.

"You and me." Jason nods once at you with a soft smile before zipping her suit back up.

"You and me." You nod back before putting the gauze pad in your utility belt. "So...Crane has the department?" You clear your throat. It would be easier not to discuss that but you don't have that privilege.

"Yep." Jason shakes his head. "He's got more than that. The video, everyone is falling for his shit. He's gonna try to destroy Gotham." Jason states.

"How?" You ask.

"Taking over everyone and turning everyone against you guys for starters. I don't know what else he has planned. I know it's not fucking good though. He's losing it."

"Fantastic." You roll your eyes.

According to Bruce's file on Crane, this is what always happens. He has a plan and it works well at first but then he starts to crumble, spiral, and it all goes to shit. Crane does try to take people with him though and no one is left unscathed when Crane starts to fall off the deep end. You're getting the feeling this isn't going to end well.

"You, uh, you should probably head out then, right?" You ask cautiously. "Like, if someone sees you with us, leading us here or sees me leave after seeing you leave. That'll be a problem. You know Crane wants the city, so find out how."

Jason grits his teeth and he hates this. It was his idea to go to Crane in the first place and maybe this is just his penance for it. Being forced to work with him not that he wants to kill him. And he hates the idea of leaving you and Gar. The entire city is going to want you dead. The GCPD already tried to turn them in to Crane who would have killed you. You can handle yourselves but anything can happen out there. Worse things can happen though if he doesn't find out what Crane is doing and put a stop to it.

"Yeah." Jason answers shortly. "Alright, yeah." Jason nods his head with a sigh. "Use the burner though, let me know if you find anyone. I'll try to get into the traffic cameras and see if I can locate anyone for you and Gar to get to." Jason explains as he gets to his feet.

"Thanks, Jay." You offer him a soft smile. "We'll be fine." You assure him.

"Right." Jason nods his head, plucking his helmet from the floor. "If shit starts going south--"

"I'll call or text. I got it, Jay. We've been here plenty of times now. Look who's the one worrying now." You scrunch your nose at him, mostly to try and ease some of his worry and hide yours.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Jason lets out a scoff but the corners of his mouth tug up slightly. "Good luck." Jason nods once before he turns and heads out of the room, leaving you alone with an unconscious Gar.

You sit against the window for several hours, just looking through the slats of the window. The city is going to shit. Chaos is already starting to hit the streets. Fires and fights, you can see the few buildings across the street boarding up their windows. Maybe this is what Crane wanted. GCPD is with Crane and Gotham doesn't have any vigilantes to protect it. That's when you start to think how odd this whole thing is.

Bruce ran the city on fear. Fear of the Bat and how he could take down anyone, send them to Arkham but with the insurance policy of making it out alive. It was still fear that kept a lot of people from committing at least serious crimes and it did keep Gotham, at least, somewhat safer with certain things. Crane's entire obsession is with fear. He makes people live out their worst fears. It's what he does but now he's trying to control Gotham by turning everyone against the vigilantes which just makes them unafraid. You aren't sure what that has to do with anything or if it even matters but it's something you can't help but think about it. And you wonder what will happen if it works. What happens if he gets what he wants this time? Where does that leave the Titans? Gotham?

You've never been much of a team player. You've always done better alone or with one person. It's easier that way. You wonder if that's how it should be. You remember when you left the tower and Dick said you could be a Titan again. If you wanted to. But, the more you sit here and think about it, maybe you don't want to. There are too many moving pieces and even though it's not your responsibility, it's too much to have to worry about so many people all at once. And if Dick fucks up, they all die. That's a pretty big burden to carry and you aren't so sure you want that every single day. Maybe to help sometimes, yeah. But, maybe not every day and if Crane wins, this is Gotham. You'll fight tirelessly until it's not his anymore because this city doesn't belong to him. It doesn't belong to anyone like him.

After a few more hours, the sun starts to come up, the gloomy clouds blocking most of the pretty oranges and pinks. You check your phone, only for there to be an x where the service bars are. You try to make a call to Dick but the service is unavailable. Fantastic. Your best guess is this has to do with whatever Crane has coming or the chaos that Gotham is under which means you and Gar are on your own until you're able to find the rest of the Titans. But you can't just sit here for right now.

You still need to grab some sort of food for you both and grab clothes for Gar so while the streets aren't as busy you decide now might be a good time to try and find supplies. The streets aren't as busy as they were earlier and nothing should be open yet. There's a convenience store not far so if you're quick, you could break in, grab what you and Gar need, and be back before anyone spots you. It shouldn't be too hard. So, you grab your mask and make your way to the door Jason let you through last night only to be caught completely off guard as the door swings open.

"Rachel?" You question as you pull your mask off.

Rachel blinks at you a few times before gaining a soft smile. "Hey." She didn't know you even got a suit.

"What the hell are you doing here?" You ask as you tug Rachel inside and close the door behind her.

"I don't know. I just had a feeling I needed to come back." Rachel states, somewhat ominously.

You've never been so relieved to see Rachel. Rachel is literally the daughter of a demon. Based on how Gotham is looking right about now, you might need that. So far, nothing else has worked and Rachel killed her dad. Not to mention, the Titans could really just use some more hands if you stand a chance against the entire population of Gotham City.

"Oh, yeah no we could use some fucking help right about now." You laugh softly.

"Yeah? What is going on?" Rachel looks around the abandoned building, taking notice in how rundown and cold it is. "It's kind of weird out there." Rachel states, remembering how Gotham was before when Dick brought them on the way to San Fransisco.

This is not that Gotham. There are fires in the streets now, people yelling, being more guarded than usual. It's every person for themselves and it's six in the morning. No one should even have enough energy for that now. But, word got out that the vigilantes are gone and the commissioner was arrested. People have really lost it since.

"You haven't talked to anyone right?" You question, remembering Rachel was unreachable to everyone meaning she probably needs a full recap.

"Right, I couldn't really talk to anyone while I was there." Rachel says with hesitance, starting to worry about where this might go.

"Awesome. Jason died." You spit out, ripping the bandaid off.

Rachel coughs. "He what?!"

"Yeah, Joker beat him to death with a crowbar. So, Bruce went and killed the Joker. Fast forward to all the Titans showing up, and surprise, Jason's alive again. Lazarus Pit." You spit it out before Rachel can even ask. "Only he's Red Hood now and he was addicted to a drug made by Jonathan Crane, Scarecrow. That made him fearless which was unpleasant, honestly. So, for the last two weeks, I've been trying to get him clean while he's been trying to kill Dick. And Dick's been trying to capture him. He's clean now and on our side but I got shot and Dick got shot and Gar just got tranquilized last night. Crane is trying to take over the city, he poisoned the water. We were almost all killed last night because of it. It's been a mess." You nod casually as you finish.

"Um..." Rachel tries to find the right words to even process any of that. "I missed a lot." Rachel nods.

"Oh, yeah, welcome to Gotham." You mutter as you lead Rachel up the stairs. "And now, apparently, cell towers are down because I can't get a call out. I have no idea where everyone else is. It's just Gar and me."

"Okay, wait. So, where is everyone else? And where is Jason?" Rachel questions. She could tell that all of the Titans weren't here but she didn't realize you and Gar would be on your own entirely.

"No idea. He's been trying to find out what Crane is planning. He's the only reason any of us got out alive last night. He took out the snipers. As for the Titans, I don't know." You say sadly, sucking in a deep breath. "We got separated and the city went to shit not long after."

"What a mess." Rachel says softly.

"Yeah. Donna?" You ask with hope. If Jason can be brought back, there has to be a way to bring back Wonder Girl.

Rachel shakes her head sadly. "Nope."

You let out a sigh of defeat. "I'm sorry. At least you tried though." You look over to her as you reach the room where Gar is still passed out. "More than what most people would do. There has to be a way though." You assure her.

"Yeah, maybe we should ask Jason how it all works." Rachel says only half joking.

"He doesn't know. I did ask." You let out a soft laugh. "He doesn't even know where it is." You let out a breath. "Anyway, we're hiding here until we figure out what to do and until Gar wakes up." You gesture to the room just as Gar starts to stir awake.

Gar's eyes land on the two of you as confusion wraps itself around him. The last thing he remembers is you and Jason being here. It's fuzzy but he remembers that. The person standing next to you is not Jason though. Jason doesn't normally wear all black. He blinks a few times, trying to get his vision to focus and once it does, he's certain something went wrong.

"Rachel?" Gar asks, eyes still partially closed with sleep while the two of you get closer. "Did I die again or are you really real?"

"Of course I'm real." Rachel says as the two of you crouch down.

"I found her." You state.

"I found you." Rachel looks back at you.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah same thing." You state. "How you feeling?"

"Tired." Gar chuckles. "How did you find her?"

"I could just feel you guys." Rachel states simply. "Your energy. I started at GCPD, ended up here." Rachel explains as she hands Gar his clothes.

The two of you stand up and turn around so Gar can change. You're definitely thankful Rachel was able to grab his clothes because that was one thing you were not confident you could grab. And he can't very well just be out there with a blanket.

"Did you find anyone else?" Gar asks as he gets dressed.

"No, I came here first." Rachel says.

"I actually didn't leave. I opened the door and Rachel was there but cell towers are down so I can't even reach out to try to find them." You roll your shoulders.

"So, now what?" Gar asks once he's fully clothed.

You and Rachel turn around, looking between each other.

"I have no idea." You answer with defeat.

Meanwhile, Crane decides he's earned his right to Wayne Manor. With the Titans out of commission and in hiding, the manor is open. It's safe and it'll be the perfect place for Crane to call home now. It'll make it easier to run Gotham from the Manor, having access to not only the Batcave but everything within the Batcave. And of course, he decided to take Jason with him who's still not liking this whole getting along with him thing when the only thing he wants to do is put a bullet in his head right about now.

With the lines down, it's going to make it that much harder for him to even contact anyone. If Jason does find out what Crane is planning, how is he supposed to find Dick without Crane catching onto what he's doing? This whole plan is a mess and being back at the manor isn't making Jason feel any better. It feels wrong.

This isn't Crane's home. Jason is pissed -- hurt by Bruce but maybe that doesn't mean letting Crane into the manor is a good idea. He's going to take over the place and make it his when he doesn't even belong here. But, Jason is also thinking of how he doesn't belong here either. Bruce abandoned him. This was never really Jason's home anyway. He tried to make it fit, tried to make it stick but it was never really him anyway. The fancy manor, the galas, events, press, money, just having a place to go home to that was safe. Even the training didn't feel like him. He loves it more than words but at the beginning, even that just felt like he was just trying to fill in the shoes that would always be the wrong size. But now, it feels worse. He feels more like he's trespassing. He's not supposed to be alive, let alone here with Crane. In another world, Jason thinks maybe he'd have ditched Crane after being brought back and he would have walked in to find Bruce. Maybe it would be different then.

But, it's not.

"So, this is what a billion dollars gets ya?" Crane asks, standing overlooking the living room. Crane makes his way down into the main living room, examining the curtains on his way down. "Interior designers the world over-exclaimed, meh." Crane shrugs with boredom before glancing to Jason who's still standing on the landing looking over the room. "Alright enough with the whole tortured hero stuff. Come on. We have reached the summit. It's time for us to enjoy the view. I think this calls for some spirits." Crane states as he takes his coat off, tossing it onto the couch before he grabs a bottle of alcohol.

Tortured hero? That's what he thinks the issue is here? Crane's gotten Jason to make a drug, get addicted to it, kill innocent people, turn on everyone who ever cared about him, Crane almost killed you, and is trying to tear down the city. Being this so-called tortured hero is not Jason's issue. Crane is arrogant and delusional. Jason can't tell if he's just doing it on purpose or if he believes any of the shit that leaves his mouth. Crane is selfish and cruel. Jason is kicking himself for not seeing it sooner. Crane doesn't care about anyone or anything besides himself. And Jason's just stuck here playing along.

"Look," Crane states as he uncorks the bottle. "Make a toast. To Batsy." Crane says, pouring himself a glass. "To beating them. To knowing them. To growing them." Crane says as he hands a glass to Jason. Jason takes it, not bothering to start the argument now. "We gotta redecorate." Crane says, looking around. "Starting with this." Crane says as he eyes the large painted portrait of the Wayne's hanging above the fireplace.

Crane pushes a chair in front of the fireplace, using it as a ladder to grab the painting. He places the painting down in front of the fireplace, kicking the chair out of the way. Then he grabs a knife from his pocket, eyeing the painting.

"Actually, you should do the honors." Crane turns around to face Jason, offering him the knife.

Jason walks around the couch, grabbing the knife from Crane before Crane walks to plop himself on the couch. Jason watches him before he looks back to the painting, questioning if he should actually listen to Crane on this one. It feels wrong but he is still really hurt.

"It's time to finally pay back your father for the gifts he's given you." Crane states with ease.

Jason stares at the painting and at first there's a guilt that comes over him. This is of Bruce and his parents. His parents are gone, it's not like this can be replaced. But, the more he stands here, the more he thinks about how badly he's been hurt by Bruce.

Bruce gave him magic by giving him Robin and then he just...ripped it away. He did what everyone always does. Promise him something and then take it away, take from him. He begged him not to give up on him and Bruce did anyway. Bruce gave up on him just like everyone else. He never bothered to try to understand him. Bruce just sent him to Leslie to fix him. And while Jason knows, he is the one that went after the Joker, Bruce didn't do anything about it.

He didn't even realize something was wrong or that something was going on. He should have noticed and he should have tried to help. Based on the context Jason has gotten from you, it does not sound like Bruce was worried and asked you to check on him. You figured it out. Not Bruce, the world's greatest detective. Jason was cooking Crane's drug and seeing Crane and Bruce never once figured it out. You did and while you're good at detective work, Bruce is supposed to be the best. But, when it comes to his own son, he just...failed? Jason swears it was on purpose because how else did he fucking miss it? How did he miss that Jason was struggling so badly? Jason doesn't scream from the rooftops that he needs help but he also makes it obvious in his own way and Bruce missed every single cry for help Jason has ever given him.

Bruce knows Jason's entire past, every piece of it and he will never understand. Jason pushed a serial rapist off a building and all Bruce did was get mad. He never bothered to care to understand Jason's point of view of the situation. Maybe that's just Jason breaking the rules, but it was Bruce's job to try to understand. Jason was just a kid. And he was brutally murdered and it's fine Bruce has a no-kill rule but the way Jason sees it, he should have killed the Joker because the Joker took Jason away from Burce. Jason is Bruce's son, he said so, and he picked him, and yet he's the one that feels left behind and abandoned and damaged. He was never good enough. He was always too much of a bother to try to understand. Bruce only ever wanted to fix him in the way Bruce wanted to fix everyone, make them just like him. But, that doesn't work for Jason and he doesn't think he'll ever be fixed and he's pissed and hurt because he hates feeling broken.

So, he pulls his arm back and starts slicing up the painting with everything in him.

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[tulip-room]

Crush Next Door - s. kiyoomi

syn. your childhood friend that you lost contact with moves next door to you

Ch. 4 || Reinforcements

Warnings. None

Words. 1.3k

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Atsumu, Bokuto, and Hinata were on a mission. Well, a couple missions, missions for a bigger one? They weren’t entirely sure of all the details if they were being honest. 

They wanted more information on Sakusa’s neighbor and they figured the easiest way to get it was through his cousin. Komori. Komori loved to gossip about anything and everything so the troublesome trio went to him after they had a practice match with EJP Raijin. 

They had to be sneaky about it so Sakusa didn’t question them and find out what they were doing. They waited until Sakusa was finished talking with Komori and waved goodbye before they made their move. Atsumu hooked an arm around his shoulder and Bokuto stood on his other side. Hinata stood in front of his with a smile.

“So, Komori. We’re friends right?” Atsumu asks with a smirk. “Because we have some information in exchange for some information.” Komori smiles back at them and raises an eyebrow.

“Oh? And what information do you have? My prices are very steep,” he jokes. 

“Oh, you’ll want to hear this.” Hinata exclaims from in front of him with a wide smile.

“Sakusa moved, as I’m sure you know.” Komori nods his head so Atsumu continues. “We want to know more about her, we’re assuming you know her.”

“And why would you make that assumption?” Komori asks as he grows more and more interested by the minute. 

“Because we have it on good authority that they’re childhood friends.” Komori’s eyes light up at that piece of information. A gentle smile taking over his features.

“That lucky-“ he mutters and stops himself. “He moved next to Y/N?”

“Y/N? That’s her name?” Atsumu prods.

“If it’s the same person I’m thinking of, yeah.”

“Sakusa hugged her as soon as he saw her.”

“Sounds like Y/N then.” Komori nods as there’s not many people his cousin would react like that to. “What would you like to know about her, my friend?” The three of them start walking out of the building. 

“Well, we noticed that Omi has this ring on his bag,” Hinata starts excitedly. “Do you know anything about it?” 

“Oh, I didn’t know he still had that.” Komori mutters under his breath. “I don’t know the story behind them, all I know is one day they showed up to school with matching rings on their fingers. I don’t think I had ever seen Kiyoomi so happy as when guys would steer clear of her because of them.”

“Oh, this is too good.” Atsumu chuckles under his breath. “Omi Omi still likes her.”

“I wouldn’t doubt it. I don’t have all of the details, but. I do know that they were smitten with each other before she moved.” He taps his chin in thought. 

It seems as though the troublesome trio has become a quartet now.

The door of the bakery chimes and you swipe a stray piece of hair from your face as you greet them. “Hello, I’ll be just a minute,” you say as you finish up counting the change drawer. When you look up you’re met with brown eyes.

“Kiyoomi, what brings you in?” Your voice lifting up as a smile creeps onto your face. 

“We had a half day because of a practice match. I figured I should come visit my favorite baker.” He adjusts the mask on his face as he looks around at the people sitting and eating. 

“Well, you’ve come to the right place. Here I am.” You notice that he’s wearing his ring, it shining as the fluorescent lights hit the metal. “Your ring.” You point at it.

“Yeah, I figured I would wear it as an actual ring today.” You can see the corners of his eyes crinkle slightly. “And where is your ring?” He teases as he notices your hands are bare. 

You roll your eyes and pull out your necklace from under your shirt. “Over my heart, where you always are,” you say playfully. You swear you can see a hint of pink popping out from where his mask ends. He adjusts it again. 

“Those cookies you made were really good and I remember you saying if I visited that you would treat me to some baked goods.” 

“Should you really be eating those?” You hum at him. 

“One cheat day won’t hurt me.”

“I’m such a bad influence.” You shake your head and gather some cookies in a bag. He reaches out to take the bag but you pull it back. “Some of these are fruit cookies. All natural sugar,” you explain and hand him the bag.

“I’m impressed.” He looks through the contents of the bag. “How much longer are you open?”

“Only like another hour, I usually close before six.” You tell him and point to the clock that’s already inching towards five. 

“I’ll walk you home then, if you don’t mind me staying after close.”

“No, I don’t mind.” He sits down at a table near the counter and he watches you wipe everything down. As the time ticks closer to six the crowd dissipates until it’s just him and you. You had sent your staff home once they finished prepping for the next day telling them you would finish up mopping. 

Sakusa waits patiently as he watches you clean. Once everything is locked up the two of you walk in comfortable silence to the train station. He lets you take the seat and he stands in front of you. “How was the match?”

“Good. I saw Komori, it was nice to see him.”

“It must be difficult to go from seeing someone everyday to almost never,” you say without realizing. You let out a small laugh and quickly cover your mouth when the realization hits you. “I guess we would know.”

“I guess we would,” he hums in agreement. 

“I wouldn’t mind seeing him again, it’s been way too long since we last hung out.” You mention with a smile. 

“It would be. I’ll invite him over sometime.” The two of you get off the train and start walking down your street. “I know I’ve already said it but, it’s really nice seeing you again.” He mutters as he looks away and refuses to make eye contact with you. Your hand is holding onto the sleeve of his jacket like usual. 

You tug lightly on the fabric to get him to look at you. “It was good to see you again too, Kiyoomi. I missed you,” you admit as it was your turn to look away. He shifts his arm so you’ll look back up. 

“I missed you too.” You hadn’t even realized you had wound up at your door until you look back up.

“Goodnight Kiyoomi, let’s do this again? It was nice.” You offer him a smile as you unlock your door.

“Goodnight Y/N,” he crosses his arms as he anazyles you. “Yeah, let’s do this again. It reminds me of when we were young.”

“We’re not old Kiyoomi, we’re 22,” you say with a small laugh. 

“It just feels like forever ago.”

“It does. We can’t let it happen again.” 

“No, we can’t.” He pulls you into another hug. “I missed this too,” he admits softly as you wrap your arms around him. The two of you stand there for a moment, just enjoying the silence and comfort between the two of you as you hug. 

You pull away with a final squeeze. “See you later.”

“See you later.” The two of you give a final wave and Sakusa waits till your door locks before he crosses the way over to his house. His heart thrums in his chest and his cheeks hurt from how much he’s been smiling lately. 

I guess that’s what happens when you’re in love.

Next chapter is one of my favorite I've written hehe

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[an-angel-in-the-garden]

Hiiiiii!

So, this might be a specific request, but Naraku from Inuyasha has been doing somethinnnng to me lately lol.

Basically, could I request a hurt/comfort thing with a reader that was emotionally abused as a child where Naraku fucks up, emotionally hurts his s/o, and they break down begging him to “not do this to them” saying that they “can’t do this again”?

Basically a thing where Naraku realizes that his actions have CONSEQUENCES, and sees how his words can destroy the person he actually gives a fuck about, and that they can’t be tossed around if he wants to keep them in his life.

Coming off of a rather long fic I went for my normal style with some headcanons. I hope you don't mind. TW for past child abuse. It's not really mentioned in detail but it's there. Arguments and yelling, threats of violence aimed at others,mentions of death and murder A somewhat toxic relationship. This is hurt comfort but the writing at the start is only hurt! If fighting is something that bothers you please skip it. Undercut is all comfort. 

Naraku doesn't really know how to hold back in anything, be it a fight for his life or a mere argument with you

When the two of you fight it normally ends in him storming off before it can really blow up

You're the one person he really doesn't want to hurt but sometimes it happens, this is one such time

It might start small but fights can spiral out of control quicky and since Naraku never seems to realizes how painful his words can be it just builds

His voice is raised and at some point it becomes a one sided battle where all you can do is try and breath

" I truly shouldn't have expected much from some lowly human. No matter what I try to do it's like you just can't understand anything! Is it really too much to ask of someone like you?

it just goes on and on until you can't take it anymore, Naraku is ruthless when he gets like this and no matter how strong you are you can only bend so much

The breaking point is sudden and the tears just come rushing out soon sobs and the need to gasp for air follow

It's only then that Naraku falls silent, sharp eyes turn to you and freeze now unsure what to say or do

For the first time in many years Naraku feels a sense of guilt and doubt well up

However he's doesn't know what to say or do so when the silence only makes things worse and you start babbling out apologies while begging for forgiveness it hurts him in an unexpected way

It takes hours before either of you can properly talk and even longer before you can say you trust him again it leave Naraku feeling empty and uncomfortable, he'll do anything to fix it

It starts the moment you stop crying, he's still angry but now more at himself and the people of your past then anything else

At the start he won't want to apologizes it feels unnatural to him to bow down to anyone or admit he was wrong

This doesn't really last for long, a couple of hours at most before your silence and fear becomes unbearable to him

He's nearly begging for forgiveness now wanting nothing more then for you to look at him without fear

Gentle touches and soft whispers Naraku takes this chance to promise you the world and then some swearing silently to himself to rip apart those have hurt you before

He wants to wipe away the remains of everything bad that had happened but as a man somewhat stuck in the past he understand that's impossible so he opts for just trying to make it better

In the coming weeks Naraku will make sure all of his servants learn some new rules, no yelling, no fighting within view of you and no asking questions

Of course he plans to follow simple rules to show how dedicated he is to you

Gifts will be given when he can't find the right words and any names you gave him will be dealt with

Naraku will never fully change and you don't expect him to but he does learn to hold back

In the arguments still bound to happen he wills himself to keep his voice down, he no longer uses threats unless he's truly out of control ect

It's a rough start yes and something even after years of dating he would need to work but Naraku is nothing if not dedicated and for you he is willing to do anything 

It's been a while since I wrote for Naraku but there's something about him I really love and love to hate. Thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoyed my attempt at hurt comfort. ~ Lilly

[pedrostylez]

The Gray: Chapter 1

pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader

rating: 18+ (no minors please)

word count: 2.3k

chapter warnings etc: NOT CANON JOEL MILLER, Violence, questioning, swearing, flirting (I’m scandalized), pet names including Eminem references and nicknames but not to be associated with the appearance of reader. NO USE OF Y/N.

A/N: Only 7 days into July and it is already kicking my ass! I should be back on track soon, but who even knows lol. This series will eventually have smut, but probably not for a few chapters. I love respectful comments and questions, so feel free to ask those or to comment it on this post! Thank you <3

Joel shot you purely because he missed AJ. Anger coursed through him at how quickly he escaped, you in front of him, protecting AJ.  But now a puddle of sweat is starting to form in your collarbone, your skin turning a shade of gray he’s never quite seen before, and you’re still trying to be smart with him. If he was younger he would have thought you were flirting, but he’s too experienced now to know that it’s just a game to save your life. 

His eyes flicked down to where he injured you, a slight improvement noticeable, but he didn’t think it was this slow. His mind reels back to the television from last night, and those Organization commercials trilling in his head. What did they all say about you? Healed in just 30 seconds! She can save anyone!

What a load of shit that was. 

You are shifting in and out of consciousness, slung over Joel’s shoulder with carelessness that makes your chest ache. You want to lift your head, to let the blood rush out of your skull, and to give some relief, but it’s too much effort to even try.  Every time you rouse enough to remember, you can feel your leg stitching itself together, the pain causing you to clench your fingers around his shirt before falling back over the depths of unconsciousness. 

When you wake fully, you find yourself staring at rusted beams and swinging lights. A light breeze passes over your face, cold and slightly damp as you attempt to lift your head. Your neck is stiff as you tilt your head to the right and left, trying to take in your surroundings before taking note of the black boots planted on the ground by the wall. 

You let your eyes glance up and over at Joel, his posture relaxed as he faces mostly away from you. He stares at monitors along one whole wall, clicking away and shifting his head back and forth over what looks to be an empty alleyway, an abandoned building, Main Street and Hero Road crossways. The couch you were laying on is soft below you, a blanket folded neatly on the arm of it by your feet. Your head swivels to a dining table just behind Joel, the chairs all faintly facing the same way he is, a kitchenette to the right with an open door that leads to a bathroom, and another two doors to the left. 

No windows or easily accessible doors that were in plain sight. Your heart rate increases uncontrollably as you frantically look around to see if you missed an exit. You’re in the midst of convincing yourself that everything is fine, there of course is a way out of here, when Joel turns to face you.

Joel is rubbing at his neck before giving a flash of a smirk. “Ah, you’re awake.” 

“H-How…” You stumble through the word, moving your eyes down to the floor and looking around again. You’re still laying down, completely paralyzed in fear that you hope is hidden, clearing your throat to try and snap yourself out of it. You lean up, sitting straight and facing him fully on the couch to feign relaxation, but you aren’t convinced you could do it well enough to trick Joel. 

He watches you fidget, his own fingers tapping against the desk he sat at before his eyes snap to you. “Don’t worry, Marianne won’t know you failed on the job.”

Your eyes shoot up to his, frozen in place. You had seen his photo from when he worked for the organization under Marianne. Most of him hadn’t changed-graying of the hair, maybe, but his eyes that bore into yours looked the same as they did in his photo. His history with the Organization in the archives was limited to him leaving it, but you didn’t know much else. “I-I…I wasn’t thinking about Marianne.” You stumble, wincing at your own voice.

Joel chuckles, looking back toward his screens. “I’m going to ask you some questions in exchange for keeping your little mistake on the low. And I won’t kill you–how does that sound?”

“I didn’t make a mistake!” Your voice catches, standing up and glancing at the door to the left. Fuck this guy, you don’t need him telling you about failure when all you did was get in the way. You shuffle slightly, watching as Joel seems to not care. You miss how his legs slowly move under the desk to better situate himself to stand. 

He scoffs. “Oh what, you fainted straight into my arms then? You know, if you wanted my attention you didn’t have to go to such extremes, Slim.” A smile creeps onto his face again, waiting for your reaction.

It was your turn to scoff, watching him stand to face you fully, the smile now spread across his face as if he’s won a prize. “You hauled me here, I didn’t faint.” 

“You were just pretending so I would hold you longer? Bold move. Especially since I could just…” He takes a bounding step toward you, his breath felt on your face as his hand comes up to his neck and makes a slow slicing motion. “Slit your throat right now for faking it.” He practically purrs, stepping closer to you and watching you tense up. “Just a couple questions, little hero.”

You swallow roughly, back pressed against the door behind you, praying that maybe it would open into the fresh air and you could sprint away. When it doesn’t, you rake your eyes up, his black cargo pants fitted to him, shirt untucked now without the armor he’s known for. His arms tan and freckled, biceps bulging out of the sleeves–

Joel clears his throat, heat spreading through your cheeks as he catches you looking at him. “One thing at a time. You work with AJ, right?” 

You nod, swallowing harshly and grinding your teeth to stop your jaw from wobbling uncontrollably. You had never been interrogated like this before, not in training with The Organization or otherwise.

“And how long has that been, sweetie?” He asks gruffly, leaning one hand next to your head to cage one side of you. 

Your breath picks up, attempting to shove at his arm before he brackets you back in. Your cage is getting smaller and smaller. “Why?”

“Just answer the question.” He growls back, hand twitching at his side. You keep your eyes on him, daring him to reach for you. Anger flares in his eyes when you don’t immediately answer, pupils blown wide as a hand comes up around your neck and squeezes. Thankfully, you still don’t flinch. “I don’t like AJ. He plays for the crowd and has dirty secrets.” He spits out.

You furrow your brow, shaking your head with the little room he’s given you. You strain your voice to speak through his tightening hand. “I don’t know what you’re talking about–”

A brief release of his hand to come back more firmly, a dull thud of the back of your head against the door. “Yes, you do. If you are partnered with AJ then you’ve seen what he does. Did Marianne partner you together to teach you a lesson? To help him? What?” His hand tightens around your windpipe, anger boiling to the surface of his skin and painting him a deep red. He’s ready to tear you to shreds in the flip of a switch, and you close your eyes to prepare yourself for what you assume is inevitable. 

He will choke you until you pass out and die, he will kill you, he will–

Joel’s hand releases almost fully around your neck, still loosely touching you to keep you in place. When you open your eyes he is staring back at you waiting patiently. 

A deep breath in. “Less than 6 months I have worked with AJ.”

He continues to stare at you, tilting his head and grinding his teeth a bit more until finally  his fingers uncurl from your neck, smirking with a brief chuckle.  “So quick to give in, huh?”

You’re stunned, shaking your head to snap out of whatever downward spiral you were thinking yourself into and refocus. “Shut the fuck up.”

Another small laugh leaves his lips as he pops one hip out, leaning on his arm that rests by your head again. “How many times has AJ left you to the wolves like he did when I took you?”

Your teeth sink into the inside of your cheek, a flash of blood coating your tongue from how hard you’re trying to keep it together. He’s testing you. “Why do you want to know?”

His hand is quick to come back up, pushing the hair that has fallen out of place over your shoulder, twirling a strand around his finger. It’s tempting to lean into it, subconsciously wanting to feel someone touching you, but you keep still. “Sounds like to me he does it a lot.”

You don’t respond, knowing you’ll only give yourself away. His eyes flick up to yours, another smirk gracing his face. His gaze flicks down to the ripped super suit you’ve designed, fingers drifting away from your hair and to the bare skin visible there. “I thought this was supposed to repair itself?”

When Joel looks back up to you expectantly, his question still unanswered, you cough. “It…can.”

He squints, examining you. “It can? Why hasn’t it, then?”

Silence. 

His finger, dirty and bruised makes you gasp as he touches the exposed skin. Still tender from the shot he took at you earlier, you wince uncontrollably. “I thought it was supposed to regenerate your health too.”

You swat his hand away, taking the opportunity to push at his bum shoulder you know you’ve hurt before and step away from his grasp. “It does, you asshole. I’m working out the kinks.”

“You are?” He questions, not angry or eager to get you back in his grasp. “I thought they put you in that thing.”

“No, it’s my suit.” You can’t help but defend yourself, your design, the hard work you’ve put in. 

“Then why isn’t it working?” He asks casually, stepping back over to his desk and sitting down with a grunt. He eyes you expectantly, rubbing at his shoulder before leaning back with a sigh. 

“I don’t know!” You yell, immediately regretting it. You weren’t supposed to show emotion. You sigh heavily, looking at him for another moment and then deciding to just say-he was likely going to kill you anyways. “The Organization has better resources while I try to figure out why it’s not doing what it’s supposed to do, and I think I’m getting somewhere with it but if I keep going how I am with people shooting me,” You glare at him, his gaze on you unfazed. “Then I won’t have a chance to fix this issue.” 

He lifts his chin in understanding, mulling over the information. “And that issue is?”

“That it regenerates slower each time I have a fatal injury. There’s something wrong with the wires, or how it is done and I don’t know why yet.” You spit out, feeling exhausted suddenly. You lean against the door again, it cool against your back. 

 “What are you going to do then?” He asks, leaning back in his chair further than before and raising his hands over his head. 

You look around, standing straight with your hands on your hips and shake your head. “Well, it looks like an interrogation until death, so it doesn’t really matter, does it?”

He blows air out of his mouth quickly, a soft scoff in your direction. “Just answer my other questions and I’ll let you go.”

You wait patiently, staring at him as he taps his fingers against his desk again. He pauses for only a moment before continuing. “Has AJ ever done anything that has concerned you?”

“No.” You immediately answer, relaxing the muscles of your face to not react further. 

“Has he ever made a pass at you?” Joel questions again, waiting. 

“No.” Again, immediate answer. You cringe inwardly at what you think he is going to ask.

“Has Marianne ever asked you to watch after him?” He sighs, picking up a pencil and beginning to scribble on to a pad of paper by his keyboard. He now seems uninterested, not convinced. 

You pause long enough that he glances at you again, his eyebrows raised in question. “I…no I don’t think so.”

“What has she said, exactly, in regards of him?” He pushes, turning back to his pad of paper. 

You think for a moment, looking back on to your first few days with The Organization. A tour, the glitz and glam of the behind the scenes and how you could improve your work on your supersuit. Smiles from other superheroes, AJ shaking your hand and saying he looks forward to working with you. 

A shuffling into Marianne’s office and sitting in front of her desk, eager to be of service. Marianne’s stern face gave way to a soft smile before saying, “Keep him in check, show him your good attitude but stay firm. Be a good hero for me, alright?”

You repeat as such to Joel, shutting your eyes at the memory. You know you’ve been missing something, and you thought you were doing a good job at keeping AJ “in check”, whatever that meant. He didn’t like working with others, that much was obvious based on how he would leave scenes of crimes and not tell you the details afterwards. But things were getting better–

Joel stands, taking a couple steps over to where you are and looking down upon you. Frozen for a few moments, eyes flicking back and forth between yours before taking a deep breath and nodding. “That’s all I needed. I hope to never see you again, Slim.”

Defiant, you cross your arms and frown at him. “What is that supposed to me–” Your sentence was cut short, Joel’s hand coming up and impacting your face in such a way that all you see is stars and a slow tunnel into full black. The only thing you remember are those damned boots he’s wearing, and that smile growing on his face again. 

[herelieskrisy]

We need more tlou3 ellie x reader

There are two tropes I’m an absolute bitch, whore, and slut for. Ellie x reader as mothers and ellie x reader after the events of the last of us part two!

My bored and lonely brain was thinking as usual and I realized we don’t have enough ellie x reader post-epilogue. Which is like… why? The amount of angst and eventual fluff that could be added is insane. Watching Ellie grapple with the gut-wrenching aftermath of grief and slowly finding her new purpose. Becoming her old self again and healing with a new lover along the way.

I started thinking of story ideas and settled on this one being my favorite. It might be crap or it might be genius, I dunno.

(just imagine how desperate and passionate the smut would be)

————————————————————————————

!!!THIS IS JUST A SUMMARY NOT AN ACTUAL FIC!!!

౨ৎ Ellie’s spent months in Jackson trying to make amends with Dina and JJ. There are hard consequences she has to face, being that betrayal isn’t easily forgotten, and every single street corner and creaky saloon reminds her of Joel Miller. This town used to be a safe haven, a sanctuary where she was met with warm people and even warmer memories. Memories turn to bittersweet shackles that tug her back from being full, leaving an empty shell of what once was. She thought her new purpose was getting her family back, but that wasn’t enough. There’s no fairness to her finding comfort in the arms of a former lover she hurt so bad, left to rot just like all the other lives sacrificed in the name of her living. Talks of fireflies banding together to build communities and restore humanity leave Ellie curious as she’s reminded of the cross-country journey that brought her to this position in the first place. Jerry Anderson is dead thanks to her, so there’s no hope for a vaccine, but there might be a sliver of light for a second chance. Ellie yearns to be apart of something greater. A journey that could once again fill the void that is her soul. She’s taken enough from this barren Earth already, why not give back? Setting off for the fireflies, she’s met with a familiar face from her past, the murderer of Joel Miller.

Abby Anderson and Ellie Williams share two things in common. They have the same goals of building a larger group of survivors, and they’ve taken a liking to you.

You who became close friends with Abby soon after she found the fireflies on Catalina Island with a scrawny scar-faced boy accompanying her. She might be the most genuine person you’ve ever met, which makes it shameful when you start giggling a little too hard at a certain auburn-haired girl’s jokes. The same auburn-haired girl who’s constantly mentioned in Abby’s tales of the crazy immune chic who used to be set on killing her.

Ellie wasn’t looking to make friends on this mission. She wanted to seek the fireflies and support them in whatever greater goal they had in store. However, she feels this sweet tangy guilt when she finds herself admiring the way you laugh at her jokes. The way your lips quirk up in a grin that’s all too amused to be friendly. With Dina and JJ still hot on her mind, she insists that you’re nothing but a friend crush. But it’s been months and Dina still hasn’t taken her back, understandably so… Maybe it wouldn’t hurt for Ellie to seek comfort in another’s touch. Maybe the fear of not being good enough for her former family can be set aside. Just for now, while she’s knuckles deep in your cunt. She swears to herself it’s a fling and you’re nothing more than a placeholder. A placeholder who Ellie happens to hold very, very dear to her heart. We change people like seasons change color, and as seasons pass the old is replaced with something new. A fresh start might be what this crazy immune chic needs.

Stolen campfire kisses, deep late night conversations, and talks of the stars reignite a spark in the pits of Ellie’s core. If you light a match in front of a moth, it’ll chase it. And baby you’re a whole wildfire.

————————————————————————————

I wouldn’t plan on this being an ellie x reader x abby love triangle, but after writing that summary out I’m realizing it has potential to be one. Love triangles are just a bit cliche to my liking and I’d want this to be super Ellie focused. Like from her pov and everything. It’s about her emotional rollercoaster and learning to love/be loved again.

Exploring Ellie’s dynamics with different people is so yummy and I feel like this wouldn’t just be a romance for Ellie x reader, but also an enemies to friends for Ellie x Abby.

Once again, I’m not a writer so I’ll probably never turn this into a series. If there ARE any writers out there who are interested in this idea and would wanna work together I’d be so down.

[andkisses]

♡ always, promise | sunoo ♡

you decide, snuggled up as the weather turns colder, that sunoo deserves all your love

♡ sunoo x gn!reader | wc. 1.4k ♡ genres/tropes: domestic, fluff, two dorks in love who say it ♡ mentions of/warnings: sunoo calls reader a pet name ♡ a/n: this is a rewrite of a fic i wrote and posted YEARS ago; unfortunately it was eaten up when i accidentally deleted my blog :’) it was originally for mingyu from svt ♡ masterlist ♡

Rain showers the roof in soft pats, sliding down the walls and running over the windowsill before continuing it’s journey downward.  Outside, the trees and grass and flowers have become an electric shade of green, with the leaves glowing in the fresh water.  Wind blows the light raindrops around in swirling circles, creating a delicate mist that moves and breathes at a moment's notice.

Just inside, separating cool from warm, is the fireplace, flames licking and crawling around the logs. They crackle and spit when the wind rushes or when raindrops slip down the chimney. A warm glow casts around the living room, where the heat keeps the winter chills at bay.  Soon, the weatherman figures on the television, the rain will change into sleet and then into snow.  By tomorrow morning, he determines, there should be a good foot of fluffy white snow blanketing the ground. Double check your plans, he warns, because some things will have to change.

But you don't have plans.  You hardly even hear let alone register what the weatherman is droning on about over your heartbeat.  And you swear you can hear his, too.

Every single blanket the two of you owned, including the fluffy comforter off the bed and the soft throws from the couch and every extra one from the linen closet, were tossed onto the floor between the couch and the fireplace. The coffee table has long been pushed aside and forgotten along with the cooling mugs of cocoa and coffee resting on top.  Every single pillow has made its way down with the blankets, too.

And then there’s the two of you, snuggled up in borrowed hoodies and long pants and warm fuzzy socks.  You're in one of his hoodies—you "borrowed" and never returned (partially because it's warm and partially because smells like him) but he never asked for it back (partially because he knows you love it and partially because he loves how it looks on you).  You're both buried beneath the blankets and pillows, but still close enough to feel the fireplace's heat to feel delightfully toasty.

Close enough to feel each other's warmth.

Your hands find their way to cup his cheeks, and he leans into your touch, eyes closed with a soft and peaceful smile on his face.  A frown shapes your lips.  “You're still cold,” you say, pinching his still-red cheeks.  “You shouldn’t have come over in the rain.”

He laughs, giggles turning his cheeks warm beneath your touch. “What are you? My mom?” He reaches out to boop your nose. “I distinctly remember you saying you were lonely and asking me to come over.”

You make a face, scrunch your nose–because he’s right. You were lonely and you did ask him. And you had been paying attention to the weatherman earlier, imagining the snow and ice and what it would be like to build pillow forts with Sunoo and keeping each other company. He’s already closed his eyes again, melting into the touch of your hands. God, you’re so in love with him.

But you don’t let him know that. That would be embarrassing. Instead, you counter, “You could get sick.”

One eye slowly peers open mischievously, the matching eyebrow quirking up. “Me? Sick?” He laughs again, shuffling closer to you.  His arms wrap around your waist, pulling you in, and you end up with your own arms around his neck.  He plants a gentle kiss on the crown of your head, and even though you can’t see it, you can feel his smile against your skin.  You must have me mistaken for someone else.  I'd never get sick.”

You stay there like that for a while, a smile secure on your lips, you nestled in his arms and safely tucked under his chin.  He curls into you, almost like a kid who’s spent too long from home.  A drowsy state falls over the room, and you see everything through warm, hazy vision.  Outside, the rain had turned to sleet, just as the weatherman predicted.  It pinks at the windows. From behind the clouds, the sun begins to sink below the horizon, taking the little light with it. The streetlights turn on.  The flames of the fireplace continue to flicker, casting everything in a moving orange glow.

“If we fall asleep now, we’ll ruin our sleeping schedule,” you murmur, already feeling the warm hands of sleep coaxing you away from the land of the awake.  “We’ll wake up at like four in the morning.”

Sunoo pulls you a tad closer, hands spread out, one splayed against your ribs and the other running soothing patterns over your back.  “Or,” he begins, eyes glittery in front of you with firelight, “we fall into a deep slumber and don’t awaken for thousands of years, but when we do, we'll be rulers of a magical land.”

You blink, eyes tired. You can’t help the smile on your lips. “Would you be the king?”

“Yeah, but I'd let you do whatever you want.”

A lazy laugh escapes your lips, and you move your arms from his neck to wrap them around his torso, to hold him close, face tucked into his chest. He's precious, you realize suddenly, and you feel as if he needs protecting.  You think back to when you first met, and he was a cute, bubbly, adorable hot mess trying to start a conversation with you.  His confidence clashed with his nerves about you. His cheeks had flushed red hot and he could hardly look you in the eye, but when he did, all you saw was genuine sincerity and child-like curiosity.  When he finally asked, "would you be my friend?" you couldn’t fathom how someone could possibly say no.  The next memory, the one where immediately after you said yes he jumped and giggled like you told him Santa was actually real and on his way right then.

“You're smiling, I can sense it,” Sunoo coos, drawing more circles onto your back with his fingertips.  “What’cha smiling at, honey bee?”

You shake your head, slightly embarrassed by how such a simple, faraway memory could make you feel so giddy and lightheaded.  It pairs with your feeling from earlier–how madly you love him–and you know your face is red. “It’s nothing.”

Sunoo pulls away slightly, a small smirk across his lips, mischief in his eyes.  “Nothing, hm?” he echoes.  He quirks his eyebrow up again.  “If nothing does this to you, I'd love to be nothing.  I’d be able to make you smile all the time.”

You can’t get your hands to cover your cheeks fast enough, so you bury your face in his hoodie, listening to the charm of his giggles as he laughs at your antics.  You pull him even closer, and you feel him do the same, enveloped in his warmth.  

Then, he whispers, soft and tender. “I love you,” he says, and you’re convinced your heart is about to burst. “You don’t have to say it back yet; I know it’s big, and—”

“I love you, too.” The joy in his eyes, growth of his smile, how his touch holds you that much more. It makes it all worth the nerves you felt building those worse, convincing yourself to say them before you took Sunoo up on his offer of not saying it back. You really lucked out with a boy named Kim Sunoo.

“Always?” he asks, a tone of seriousness. You know there’d been people before you; you know they weren’t always as kind or as protective with his heart. If they were, you wouldn’t be here, and he wouldn’t be in your arms pleading with you. “Promise?”

Kim Sunoo, you decide, deserves a soft, good love. Before you kiss him, you see snowflakes falling outside. You imagine the two of you, bundled up, running around and playing. You can see snowflakes landing on Sunoo’s lashes, imagine him laughing as he pulls you in for a kiss, hands on your waist. You can imagine helping give him everything he deserves.

“Promise,” you reply. You kiss him then, soft and delicate, ignoring your crazed heartbeat. When you pull back, you move your hands from his cheeks to the back of his head, carding through his locks before moving him to be tucked beneath your chin. Sunoo curls against you, a happy hum against your throat as you continue to stroke through his hair. “Always.”

[scarlettmoons]

Change || Mikey x Reader ||Chapter 1; Prologue

Summary: Y/n was returning from London to see her older twin, Takemichi. What she didn't expect was that when she returned she would find her twin in the hospital with State criticizing him, making him remain in a coma almost on the verge of death and all because of Manjiro was healthy, so he found out, so without further ado, thanks to the fact that he looked enough like Takemichi, he pretended to be him in order to carry out his revenge.

EDIT (January 23, 2024): This story is incomplete.

A/N: The first chapter is very short. I hope the next chapters will be longer, so don't worry. This is just the prologue. The story is just being written, but it is most likely that the publications will be periodic. If I see how long it takes, I will let you know. This prologue is corrected and translated, although if you see any errors, I would appreciate it if you let me know (I must warn that there will be obscene content at some point. , but I'll let you know beforehand so you can skip it)

Words: 440

Pairings: Manjiro sano x female!Reader

Warnings: none

How dare they... my brother, all because of him... Manjiro Sano I swear that you will regret what you did to my brother.

Since I arrived I was planning everything delicately until a month passed and I began to carry out my plan little by little. The first week I had managed to enter the Toman without anyone suspecting anything. After all, I am grateful for being my older brother's twin. always since I was little, if it weren't for the fact that I had long hair, they would say that we are identical. Of course, our height and tone of voice define us, but our body builds are quite similar and when I started the plan, dressing like him and cutting my hair, I gave proof of it. This is because not even his friends thought that I was someone else, although Chifuyuu, my brother's best friend, did ask me several times about the change in voice and size, which I excused him for being in the hospital for a month.

A week later

—Draken…— Chifuyuu entered the motorcycle shop that Draken ran, he had already spread the word to the members of the community about the strange behavior of his beloved companion, apart from the fact that he had shrunk so to speak, his gaze was colder and his more serious tone of voice, he had only spent a month in that hospital and Chifuyuu saw it as impossible for him to change that much.

Draken looked up when he heard his name and looked at him—do you really think he's not Takemichi?—he asked, releasing a light sigh and leaving the key in the toolbox.—Yes, you've already seen it, that one can't. be our friend, he behaves differently and I understand that he doesn't want to see Mikey after what he did to him, but the real Takemichi wouldn't care and would go after Mikey—Chifuyuu had his point and Draken was also beginning to suspect—We need Mikey to get to know if it is the real Takemichi, after all he is the one who knows him best.—

—Yes, but will he agree? —

—I know Mikey— " I know he will accept our proposal after all, even though he doesn't admit it, he is the one who cares the most and I know the feelings he has towards him." As soon as Chifuyuu accepted his proposal, he and Draken took their motorcycles to go to where they were. found. Once they arrived, they entered the premises, seeing Mikey, who approached them as soon as he saw them enter.

—What are you two doing here?—

• ◦✦──── • ◦❪❝˚✧｡˚🍓˚｡✧˚❞❫◦ • ────✦◦ •

Thank you for reading this far, I hope you like it I will upload the next chapter soon

Important: The story banners are officially mine, I do not allow any copying or re-uploading

[jeonginssa]

I Swear, I’ll Never Leave Again | W.JH

Part One - “Workplace romances are very sexy”

Author’s note: This is the first chapter of I Swear I’ll Never Leave Again, I hope you like it! I promise Jun will be much more involved soon

Word count: 1.2k (ish)

Content/genre: nonidol jun, jun x reader, lisa (blackpink) is bestie goals, fluff, heavy angst, office romance

Trigger/content warnings: implied alcohol consumption, nothing else yet but story will involve domestic abuse down the line (reader’s ex is abusive not jun), not proofread

Taglist: open

*****

You drove to work that morning worrying about whether or not you’d pick up the workload easily, if you’d fit in well to the office environment and mostly, if your colleagues would like you. You knew your work should be the most important thing but there is nothing more awful than working in an office where everyone hates you. You pulled the car to a stop and took a deep breath. 할 수 있어 (I can do this), you repeated to yourself three times before sighing and stepping out of your car, bag in hand, locking it behind you.

The building in front of you was impressive. It belonged to an entertainment company, you would be working in the translation department. You felt your hands start to shake a little as you forced yourself to take deceptively confident strides in the hope that no one would notice how anxious you were.

Upon reaching the door a receptionist buzzed you in and issued you with your keycard ID.

“You won’t be able to go anywhere without that, so please be sure to keep it on your person at all times. I’d encourage you not to lose it but should anything happen to it, I can issue you another one for a small fee. You will be working on the fourth floor, in room seventeen. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

“No, that’s everything, thank you so much.” You lightly bowed and she nodded her head in return before you made your way to the elevator.

Whilst in the elevator you couldn’t help but think about what an unlucky number four is. Was it a sign you shouldn’t be working here? No that was probably too much. You took a deep breath, stepped out of the elevator and made your way to room seventeen.

What you weren’t expecting to find was your childhood friend, hand outstretched acting as if you’d never met before.

“Hello, my name is Wen Junhui, I’ll be your manager from now on.” You bowed, albeit a little delayed from the shock and shook his hand.

“I’m L/N Y/N, I look forward to working with you.” For a second you thought his hand may have been shaking but you realised it was most likely your own hand that refused to be still. Your hands parted and you hoped he hadn’t noticed. If he had, he wasn’t letting on.

“If you need anything I’ll be in my office just over there,” he gestured to a separate room which was more window than wall. “Otherwise please speak to Lisa, she’ll bring you up to speed.

It was only then you realised there was a woman standing next to him. How you hadn’t noticed her was beyond you because she was drop dead gorgeous. She was so attractive you couldn’t understand why she would be working in an office when she could so easily be a model. She smiled and you both bowed before she gave you a rundown of your tasks for the day as well as a tour of the office and break room. You knew you should pay attention to her but all you could think about was that Junhui didn’t recognise you. Granted it had been almost ten years since you last saw each other but you hadn’t changed that much and you two had been pretty much attached at the hip your whole childhood’s. How could he not remember?

The rest of your first day went by mostly in a blur. You occasionally tried to catch glances at Junhui’s office but he’d closed the blinds so it was fruitless. Overall, you did pretty well considering it was your first day but had anyone been paying you any attention they absolutely would have noticed that you were preoccupied. Thankfully, everyone was too busy with their work to even look up.

*****

By the next week you’d pretty much gotten into the swing of things, you were making good progress on the film you were subtitling and Lisa was already starting to feel like a work friend. Enough that you felt like you could ask her some questions about Junhui.

“Does the boss ever come out of his office?” Lisa laughed at your sudden line of questioning.

“Rarely, him introducing himself to you was the most interaction I’ve had with him in a month outside of him calling me into his office for updates on my projects. Thinking about it, I don’t remember him ever introducing himself to anyone else. He usually just hands you a list of assignments and goes back to his office.” You must have taken too long to reply because she added, “don't get the wrong idea though, he never dates anyone,” and winked.

“Believe me that’s not what I was thinking,” you chuckled.

“It’s okay you can’t tell me you haven’t noticed how attractive he is.” Granted you had to admit you weren’t just taken aback by the fact he didn’t recognise you. He had objectively grown into his looks. He was tall, like a good 6 inches taller than you at least, slender and had breathtaking eyes. Little Junnie had most definitely grown up.

You laughed, “I noticed but I’m not looking to date either, plus he’s my boss.” You could have told Lisa you knew him but how could you say oh, we were best friends, when he clearly has no idea who you are. You even told him your full name and he didn’t so much as flinch. She’d only pity you if she knew the truth.

“I don’t know, workplace romances are very sexy,” she wiggled her eyebrows at you and you couldn’t help but laugh. She really did brighten a room. You couldn’t help but hope that you could go from work friends to actual friends one day. As if she read your mind she added, “by the way, a bunch of us are going for drinks after work later, you should come!”

You pulled your sweater sleeves down over your hands, “I would but I don’t think a club would even let me in dressed like this.”

“Luckily for you, I live close, we’ll just run to mine quick before we catch up with the others. It’ll be fun, I can do your makeup too if you want? What do you say? It’ll be fun!”

Lisa’s enthusiasm was contagious and you agreed before you could even think about it. It had been a long time since you’d actually allowed yourself to have fun and even longer since you’d got all dressed up.

Lisa cut no corners in dressing you to the nines, in fact you didn’t think you had been this dressed up ever. Her room was more wardrobe than bedroom and she had more accessories than anyone you knew. She’d put you in a little black dress, a little handbag that looked way out of your budget and a pair of black stilettos. Your makeup was simple with a nude lip and winged liner but it was way better than it looked when you did it and you had to admit that by the time she’d added jewellery and done your hair, you looked good.

“Damn girl, where were you hiding?” You blushed.

“It’s not too much is it?”

“Don’t be silly, you look great, now lets go catch up with the others!” She grabbed a clutch on the way out and you scurried after her.

[deadendtracks]

Continued from here...

On to season 6 finally. One thing that surprised me looking back over the season is that as far as I can recall, Tommy doesn't actually ever directly say that he's trying to be a "good man" in those terms.

I searched the @peaky_script twitter for that term and it doesn't come up referencing Tommy at all. Which isn't really how I remembered things, but *is* more in line with what I think is going on. What he does talk a lot about is "changing." Of course, the question is from what into what, and the implication is certainly at least "something better than he was." It just intrigues me that he never specifically refers to it as becoming a "good man," even if that's somewhat implied. This contrasts with Arthur, who flat out calls himself a "good man" a few times in canon -- most notably while assaulting and slashing up the man Linda was seeing in s5. What Tommy *does* talk about is doing good things (such as the housing project), but that's something of a tangent.

In the first episode of s6, Tommy does say to the men in Miquelon since I foreswore alcohol, I've become a calmer and more peaceful person. This is the first glimmering of Tommy making purposeful changes. Of course, he says it right after being quite violent in self-defense, so it's said with a bit of conscious irony. It's also fairly evident that swearing off alcohol didn't particularly make him calmer or more peaceful (I've written before about how giving up self-medication of his PTSD actually made him a lot less stable and anxious). But this is at least something he's attempting to achieve in some way.

So yeah. I went looking for Tommy talking about changing into a good man in s6, and what I found was that he never quite says this, and the places where he does discuss anything close are a) mostly after Ruby's illness and b) still pretty ambiguous.

The first mention of him 'doing good' is in the scene with Ada at the Garrison after he's talked to Captain Swing.

Ada, this will be the end of it, do you hear me? This is the way out for all of us. And along the way, I will be doing good.

and when she points out he's going to be making money:

All right, fair enough. Any incidental rewards for my good work will be welcome. But you will get your fair share, sister.

What I want to underline is that he doesn't talk about being a "good man" here, he talks about *doing* good and about his *good work* -- I know this might seem like semantics, but I don't think it is. I think there's a difference.

After Ruby is admitted to the hospital, Tommy sits at her bedside and tells her he'll strike a bargain to save her. He goes looking for Esme. Esme takes him to a burial site and tells him a story about Evadne Barwell blaming him for her daughter's death and cursing Ruby in revenge. Setting aside whether this actually happened or whether Esme was fucking with him, this is when he starts the sort of magical thinking/transactional deal making in earnest.

He tells Esme he's done bad things, that he'll give Evadne ten thousand pounds and build a monument to her daughter if she'll reverse the curse. He tells her his children are teaching him kindness. Notably, he says Now that I'm without whisky I can hear the spirits clearly, and they're saying Ruby will be well, if I make amends. That is the conversation.

Again, he doesn't say that this would make him a "good man" so much as it is a transactional 'deal' where if he makes up for his sins, his daughter will live. If he strikes the right bargain, if he convinces Evadne Barwell to take back her curse by giving her money.

However, Ruby dies before he can find Evadne Barwell.

Tommy's speech at Ruby's funeral continues this theme of change and *doing* good:

Little Ruby's fate came a thousand miles too soon. But in her name and in her memory things will change.

And whatever comes down the river from now on, we will make good, we will make peaceful and honest and good and send it on down the river better than it was. In her memory we will do this.

Notably, he says *things* will change, and that *we* will make things good in her memory. It's quite ambiguous what he actually means by this, and he doesn't directly refer to himself. Given he's been talking about going fully legit since season 1, it at least carries the connotation of getting the family out of the violent business and concentrating on the positive work he's been doing in parliament. But he doesn't say anything specific. And I think in part, he has no concrete idea what he himself means here.

And of course, directly after saying this, he leaves the funeral and hunts down Evadne Barwell and murders her and the three men who try to defend her. Absolutely not the actions of a good man and not remotely making things peaceful and honest and good. When he returns home, Lizzie confronts him about what he's done, screaming WHAT IS THIS "GOOD" THAT YOU WILL BECOME?!

His response is that their bodies will be thrown aboard the boat, like all the other bodies, but I am stepping off that boat and onto another boat. Do you understand?

Again, he's not really specifying what this other boat is, except it's not the one with the bodies on it. And it's interesting that Lizzie asks him what is the good he will become when he hadn't actually framed it as he *himself* becoming good. It's understandable that she interprets it that way, and it's not even that he doesn't mean it that way, but it's not something he's said to that point.

That night, Mosley, Mitford, Captain Swing and Jack Nelson show up at his house for their meeting. Mosley asks Tommy to prove his dedication to the fascist cause "physically" in the form of the Nazi salute, which he complies with. Tommy is then shown staring at Ruby's chair and then abruptly leaving the meeting to go outside and scream at the sky while firing a machine gun. Later we find out he burned Ruby's chair in the fire place.

One thing I haven't really talked about is the impact on Tommy of working to take down Mosley. This starts in s5, and it's something he was immediately terrified of. Briefly, he's afraid of what he'll have to do to destroy Mosley; this is at least part of why he tries to have him killed. Mosley's talk of the forbidding being forbidden, the talk about Mosley sleeping with his family members, Mosley basically trying to tell Tommy that he should hand over Lizzie to him -- all of these things freak Tommy the fuck out. But that's another longer meta. The point I wanted to make is that "proving" his loyalty to the fascists in front of a representation of his daughter, the day of her funeral, really fucks him up.

And this brings me to my original point! LOL I did have one. That he doesn't look at killing Mosley as something that would make him a good man. I've already talked about how he never frames anything in s5 in those terms. In s6 he's moved past trying to kill Mosley to working behind the scenes privately to inform on Mosley to Churchill. To do this, he has to keep up this charade of being on Mosley's side, working for the 'cause,' by introducing Mosley and Nelson, President Roosevelt's envoy.

When Lizzie discovers him typing up his notes from the meeting the next morning and tries to reach out to him after he talks about burning Ruby's chair, he stops her and says:

Not yet. Not yet. I have this work to do cos now I know that I will change. That I have to change. And change for good, Lizzie. Not just yet.

What stands out to me here is how he says that he has to change (again, not specifying what he'll be changing into, and not framing it as a 'good man') but not just yet.

So what does he mean by that?

My interpretation is that he knows that what he'll need to do in order to succeed in bringing down Mosley will require him to do things that don't fit that 'change for good.' It requires the man who is willing to murder people, the man willing to do a Nazi salute to prove his bona fides, the man who will sleep with Diana Mitford to 'prove it physically.'

That man *isn't* a good man. He thinks that in order to achieve his goal, he has to stay the man he currently is.

Anyway, that was incredibly long, but hopefully illustrated the point that I think Tommy doesn't believe killing Mosley (or taking him down from the inside) will make him a good man; on the contrary, he has to remain the 'bad' man in order to do it. He has to put off this "change for good" whatever that means, because it will be impossible for him to do what needs to be done otherwise.

And I'll conclude by saying that the "change for good" that Tommy talks about doesn't seem to be linked to anything specific or concrete that he'd do, so much as it is about the things he'll *stop* doing. So it's not really framed as "if i do this, i will be a good man" but "to make a change for good i will stop doing these bad things." Which is why he can't make that change while there's still a chance he needs to do 'bad' things to achieve his goal and stop Mosley.

[allie-campbell-bradshaw]

Chapter 2: Plebe Summer

A/N: Welcome to the second chapter of Top Gun: Baby, a love story following Bradley Bradshaw and Allie Campbell. This story is sequential, so if you have not already read the first chapter, please go back and do so! All links to chapters and their mood boards can be found on my masterlist. I mention this in my notes for every chapter, but just in case you missed it– I do not give permission for my work to be re-posted without credibility. If you do want to post this story to your page, please be sure that you tag my account or at least mention its original source in your post. Again, thank you for being here and I hope you enjoy :)

Warnings: Angst, swearing

POSTED: 05/14/2023

Chapter Two: Plebe Summer

BRADLEY’S POV

I pulled my ray-bans off of my face so I could get a better look at the campus. I didn’t even notice my mouth hanging open until the taximan gave me a strange look, but I didn’t care. This place was immaculate! 

White brick and stone lined the exterior of the buildings. Most of the roofs were light blue with a few a crimson red color. Attendees of the Academy were wandering around the commons of the campus, talking with their families and holding onto their final hugs a little longer than normally necessary. But this isn’t normal. This is the biggest day of our lives! The day where we pledge ourselves to our country and join the U.S. Navy.

“Sir,” the taximan said in a tone that made me think he had said this phrase quite a few times. I glanced over at the meter and read the total, whipping out my wallet and giving him a fifty dollar bill, telling him to keep the change. He gave me a muttered “yeah”, obviously not impressed with the small tip, but I didn’t care. Nothing could bring me down right now! I quickly got out of the cab, grabbing my bag and flinging it over my shoulder, smiling at the campus I was now able to call home. I pulled my raybans back over my eyes while the sun shone down on me. Yep, nothing could ever bring me down.

Fuck. I was wrong. I kept my eyes glued to him, standing still and refusing to move. My smile was long gone from my face and my jaw tightened, watching him as he looked at me, with an excited smile on his face. An excitement to finally see me after four years, which was a decision he made when he interfered with my life.

His smile dropped from his face and he looked down at the ground, shrugging his shoulders as he took a deep breath. I kept my eyes and my emotionless face glued on him, wanting him to feel every ounce of hatred that was radiating through my body.

He gave a slight nod and then looked up at me again, taken aback with the notice that I had yet to move. I wanted to end our interaction as soon as possible, so I turned my head to the center of campus and started to make my way to the check-in table. Luckily, he didn’t follow.

“Well hi!” A very cheery woman greeted me, she wore a shirt that said ‘Welcome Cheer Volunteer’. Jesus... She must have read the angry expression on my face, that was half hidden by my ray bans, because she quickly dropped her smile, cleared her throat, and asked for my name.

“Bradshaw” I answered coldly, looking over my shoulder to try to find him, luckily he was nowhere to be found.

She quickly went through her files, wanting our interaction to be over as quickly as I did. “Bradley?” she asked in an earnest tone.

I nodded, my hair blowing in the early summer breeze that was starting to come in. We were on the coast, so there would always be a breeze that accompanied the heat. Thank God!

“Well,” she said, collecting herself and grabbing a pen from the side of the table, “If you could just verify all of this information and then sign here,” she pointed to the bottom dotted line, “then you will be all good to go!”

I looked over the paper that she handed me, filled with basic information as well as an emergency contact. My initial application listed him as my person to contact, but this time I listed Kazansky. He barely knew me, and apart from the brief interaction we had at my mom’s funeral, we’d barely spoken. However, I knew him well enough to know that if the Academy called to tell them they needed his consent to perform an emergency surgery, he would figure out why I made the switch and help out.

I signed the line with the quick signature that I had been practicing for years. The B and the Y are the only eligible letters in my first name and my last name was crystal clear. It keeps people on their toes, showing them that I can be one of two things; cold and confusing or crisp and clean. You never know which Bradshaw you’re going to get.

I handed her back the clipboard and papers and she grabbed them with a fake smirk on her face. “Thank you!” she faked. I could see right through her. “Be sure to be back here at 1400 for your first inspection. AND this is your alpha number! Be careful with it now, it’s your ID for the next four years”!

I raised my eyebrows at her and brought my index and middle finger up, closing my fingers together like scissors with the paper in between them.

She looked very perplexed by me, clearing her throat and adjusting her body, ready to greet the next person.

I looked over my left shoulder and saw him standing in the distance. Far enough to show me that he wasn’t interested in coming over, but close enough to tell me that he wasn’t going anywhere. If he wanted to be so involved in this day, then he would’ve been…four years ago… when I should’ve gotten here.

I walked over to the far left side of the commons area and dropped my bag to my feet, leaning against the edge, playing with the paper in my hands.

I looked down and unfolded it. Two lines were printed in the center:

Bradley Bradshaw

112454

My thought process, or lack thereof, was interrupted by the sounds of laughter, sobs, conversations, and yells. I swept through the crowd, taking notice of all of the men that were hugging and kissing their girlfriends. Most of the girls were crying, holding onto their partners for dear life.

That’s why I made it a point to not have a relationship during my last year of college. I knew this was coming, and I didn’t want to be that person to make her go through all of this. We’re only allowed to call three times this summer. All other forms of communication need to be through letters, which are cleared by a team of navalmen and women before it’s sent anyways.

Yes, I’ve had my fair share of girlfriends. First there were the middle school crushes, which I seemed to be the center of for most girls there. One caught my eye though, Emmah. She was what you would call my first “puppy dog love”. My mom would chaperone us on movie dates, bowling nights, and would sit in the living room with us whenever she came over and watched T.V. That didn’t stop me from sneaking in a few kisses though, when she wasn’t looking. It abruptly ended the summer before high school. I think it was mutual. I don’t know. We just stopped texting.

Then there were flings that I had my freshman year; Katy, Olivia, and Jepson. Nothing really came from those. I just went to football games with them and maybe held their hand once or twice on the bus rides for field trips. Honors courses went on a lot of field trips to apply the knowledge we acquired in the classroom. I guess Olivia got the closest. I went on my first unchaperoned date with her at the beginning of Sophomore year. Olive Garden. I know, fancy! Again that one just died out the same way. Then there was Jennifer. She took my breath away!

We dated for two years in high school. Definitely my first love! She was on the yearbook committee and was in charge of taking pictures of the baseball team. When I saw her on that hot late spring day, I knew. I found her in the hallway the next day and asked her out. This time, I made sure to take her on a proper date, dinner and a movie. A nice dinner though. We were inseparable after that. I walked her to every class, sat with her during every lunch, she came to every game I had, and even took me on her family vacation to Florida during summer vacation. I lost my virginity to Jennifer, and her’s to me.

I knew she was wanting to break up with me during senior years spring semester, but with my mother’s admission into hospice, she held back. I took the liberty of giving her a proper break up a week before she died. I saw her and her family at the funeral, and even gave her a smirk to acknowledge her presence and support, but didn’t talk to her after that. She went to Columbia College in Chicago to better her art skills. She was a hell of an artist!

College contained the natural amount of tinder flings and hookups. I deleted the stupid thing during my junior year, not wanting to put the energy into it anymore. Then I met Danielle who was in my History of Politics class. She made me feel a spark I had never felt before. A genuine adult love. We went out a few times. An intense chemistry was developing between us. It scared the hell out of me! I brought up these fears to her, and despite her plea to take our relationship to the next level, I knew I couldn’t. So naturally, we made love one time, and then I let her go, watching her cry as she left my house in the middle of the night. I offered to let her stay, but she said it would be too painful. 

Maybe I wish I kept up with that one. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t hurt her the way I knew I would. Leaving for summer camp would be too much for her. I knew her heart well enough. She would choke it all down and then one day, explode. I didn’t want to get my “Dear John” letter from her, or be the one to end it myself through a letter.

If I wasn’t here, if I was rejected, I would’ve married her. She’ll be my biggest “what if” when I find myself sitting on a carrier in the middle of the ocean at night in my bunk. When I’m toying through my thoughts, listening to everyone’s stories about their happy families, I’ll think about her, and the life we could’ve had if I was wired differently.

I shifted my focus to the families on base. Looking at my classmates as they hugged their dads and moms. That part stung. I saw one kid, he looked to be just fresh out of highschool, and handed his mom a single red rose. Damn it! That brought me back to the thought of my parents. My mom told me that whenever dad came home, or when she came to visit him, he would give her a single red rose and a hug and kiss bigger than the universe. She preserved the last rose that he gave her when he was in Top Gun. The one she got just a day before he died. It was in a pane of glass with his call name “Goose” printed in black cursive on the bottom right corner. He had that now. Promising to keep it safe until I wanted it. I couldn’t stand to look at it once she died. It had a different meaning after her death, and I couldn’t keep it in the house anymore.

I was so lost in thought that I didn’t even notice a girl approach me until she said; “You don’t have family either.” It was more of a statement than a question.

I looked over at her. She had olive skin and deep brown air. Her eyes were a deep color of brown, but had so much light in them, yet so much pain. She understood me… “Yeah.” I answered, hurt that my emotion got the better of me. She already had me all figured out.

She looked down at the ground, her arms crossed as she kicked a loose rock to the side. “Well, at least we’re not alone”.

I kept my eyes down on the ground, a stubbornness emotion held on my face. A look of pain that she knew too well. I nodded my head and looked at her as I realized just how right she was. I wasn’t alone. She found me. She came to me.

A smirk found its way across my face and she mirrored mine. I took off my ray bans so she could know she had my full attention. The sun hit my eyes hard and it caused me to squint. My right eye snapped shut at the sudden brightness and I brought my hand up to shield my eyes. “What’s your name?” I asked her, watching as she picked up the rock and threw it in the direction of the happy families. Luckily, it landed on the ground by their feet.

“Natasha Trace” she answered as she looked at me, shielding her own eyes.

[angelnumber1]

Scum Villain Self Saving System mini fic for the Himbo in SVSSS AU I’ve been discussing with @rarepears

Contains vaguely NSFW content and features OCs (Original Characters)

(The NSFW is comedic in nature)

I... was really really lost. Like. I don’t even know the language lost.

Calls don’t work lost.

Weird animals and plants lost.

Some other thing that shows how lost I am lost.

But I still have Wi-Fi? But maps don’t work. It’s all in Chinese right now. Weird.

It’s just. Like.

I know I’m from America, melting pot and all, but this is just weird!

There’s no way crazy cult villages are THAT close to college right?!

Well… at least all this running makes for a good workout. Though I’ll need some fuel soon, track team’ll kill me if I pull a Devon.

Oh right! I’ve got some of those off-brand meat sticks one of the clubs were selling!

They really fucked up the shape though.

Well. It’s nearly sunset so I can use the stars or something to find my way back. There were these three stars by the campus that looked kind of like a short dick if you looked at it from the science building.

We named it Peen-ience.

I followed Peen-ience to get back to the campus once, did walk in on a ‘bros group project’ first though. We named Peen-ience really well.

Welp. Gotta get some grub now. Wish I could just order pizza or something… I’m even wearing pizza pinks right now! Nice fuzzy robe one of the seniors bought me after he showed me this cool club.

Wait! Gotta get food. Um. Ok. You can do this.

Shit.

There’s nothing here!

And I need to piss too…

Sorry trees… and bushes… and random vines that keep trying to trip me…

I’m answering nature’s call right now and they don’t take no for an answer.

So sorry plants!

…oh yeah, plants like this actually.

Wow these plants are weird! They’re grabbing my legs and kind of feel like those octopus suckers? Feels super tingly too!

I’ll just brush them off. Carefully though! I’m not going to harm the environment.

As I finished up my… business the world suddenly… changed, it’s got this pink tint too it! Ah. This is fine :) It happens.

Well I’ll just pull my pants back up and-

Mmh. My legs feel weird again… Why the fuck is someone grabbing my legs?!

Oh my gosh they’re covered in piss.

Pervert!?

Where did they come from!?

Or someone was sleeping where I pissed?!

And I didn’t notice!?

I’m not sure which is worse T-T can people get diseases from piss?

So. Um.

There’s just some guy? They’re kind of pretty with all that long hair so they could be a girl, or what if they identify as something else and I misgendered them!

But they keep trying to get more… of my… out of my… by. Mhn!

“S-Stop. C’mon that’s-that’s my. St-“ They keep. They’re. Stop it!

Should I punch them? Stranger danger?

But they look so skrunkly like a poor little green meow meow ;( so thin! And their hair is all messy! And they’re face is all… weird looking, in a pretty way, but that’s not the point!

They’re licking the piss off now.

Wait.

Were they drinking my! My!

I though they were trying to do something else…

…

Imma just…

Imma just leave.

This is getting weird!

…

With a quick few steps backward I easily get away. Glad I didn’t break any of those weird octopus vines though. Respect nature and all that right!

That guy must be super weak though- there was like, no strength to his grip at all. He must skip all the days. Smh I swear. If you skip leg day your glutes are being neglected but if you skip all the days you’ll fall down and break your hip or something.

But man! The sunset and this pink glow looks super cool! It’s like a scene in a web novel!

Oh? What’s that noise?

I heard some singing coming from my right. Some ultra-feminine high pitched voice piercing my ears, it feels… maybe I could head over and check it out?

Nah. Might be one of the people that chased me earlier.

As I headed away I felt almost like something inside of me increased? And when I concentrated on it I felt resistant to the singing? Weird.

Well I’ll just keep moving!

Some of the trees are blocking the sky over here. So I’ll have to find a clearing or something, oh right! Maybe I’ll be able to use my phone over there too!

…

The sun is nearly completely set by now. But look at this!

It’s so cool!

Wow this really is like a novel! There’s this huge clearing here and a little lake with a waterfall and tons of pretty plants!

Oh hey! It’s the green perv from before… maybe I’ll just stay at the edge of the clearing… this place has tons of other guys(? Weird cosplaying ten feet tall dudes? Oh silly! I’m probably hallucinating, I’m laying in a bunch of flowery bushes!)

The green perv looks a lot more human compared to the other dudes in the clearing, maybe he couldn’t get enough stuff to make his costume, well at least it doesn’t look like he’s covered in piss anymore.

In fact he looks tons better than earlier! Maybe it’s a different dude?

Suddenly my vision blurs. Or. A rectangle of my sight?

It’s really staticky though…

…Poison Resistance lv up!

Stealth lv up!

Experience Pasting Activated! Additional Experience added to%#&…

Retry…

Error. Error. Transmigration System. Prince Raising System not detected.

Additional.al.al eXp will be sent to storage.

Error. Invennnnnnnnnn.-

Nnntory does not exist.

Contacting world consciousness…

Errrrrr.

Con#+} {3wards t0 i.t3mized f0rm

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I-

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Whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck! What the ever-loving holy shit is this bucket of crap?! This ain’t cosplay anymore!

With that. I felt weird. Empty. Likes there supposed to be something inside that really cool and I’m seriously missing out.

I feel really weird now… but stronger. And I have this Chinese style bag now. Some kind of pouch?

I don’t wanna think right now!… This is a killer headache…

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.

.

Then another carfucking voice popped up.

And then a THIRD carfucker decided to bulldoze my head…

Carfuckers…

I got some new shit from that though. One of those hair crowns from Chinese movies. It looks like something a MC would wear!

I don’t think I can put it in my pockets with it poking me. But my hairs way too short and I have no idea how to wear it either.

Maybe ponytail style? I was supposed to get my hair cut next week so it should be long enough for a mini ponytail.

It’s really hard to put on without actually knowing how it supposed to go. And also that I’m not even trying to put it on the right way either.

But still, after a few more attempts and the help of a paper clip, I actually manage to put it on! Yay!

…

… it felt weird. Like my whole body was lighter. Still have that headache though.

Damn.

I must look like a cosplayer too now! My hair has a crown and I’m wearing a sleeping robe with a pouch hanging from the belt.

Suddenly another object appeared.

It fell on my head! Owwww…

It’s…

A jade hairpin with a little accessory dangling off it. The pin matches the crown! It looks super pretty. Maybe that guy from earlier needs one of these. His hair looked like tree vines from how messy it was.

I think I have to do something around now though?

Oh right. The stars. Why I came here and stuff.

I look up to the. The now night sky. Middle of the night kind of night sky.

Wait!

How long have I been laying here! It’s the middle of the night! And there are like- a bajillion stars. And my phone still can’t call anyone! But I still have service! And full charge too! Nice.

Huh. Wonder if the cosplayers are still here.

Peeking from the bushes I see most of them have already left. The perv and a few others are the only ones left. I hope they leave soon. I’m super thirsty! Can wait to guzzle up some of that life-liquid.

The other bros in the frat said not to say that out loud now that I think about it. They looked super red when I said that. Maybe it’s some slang I didn’t learn yet?

Hey! That big guy in the middle just hit the perv! It could be because he’s a perv though…

But he can’t keep doing it! And why are the other guys?… OH MY GOSH! Are they eating him!?

Um! Uh! I’ll throw this rock at them!

Picking up the rock I- crush it with my bare hands!? When did I get enough gains for that!

And! Oh. Shit. I’m standing in the middle of the clearing after making tons of noise by crushing a rock.

…Are they going to eat me too?

Frozen in place I stare them down, okay, just back up slowly… if a wall of clearly carnivorous plants weren’t trying to eat my ass!

I’ll fight them then!

Just have to brace my self and-

Oh. Oh wow these guys are weak.

Within moments I’m standing on top of a group of cosplayers. Well. Not anymore considering how broken the outfits are.

Walking over to the other guy I reach down, offering him my hand, I’m feeling a little like a hero. Though all I did was beat some guys up.

The perv though, he definitely doesn’t have manners! He just started licking the tree sap off my hands.

I pull my hands away. Seriously! This is why I’m calling you a perv in my head!

“You know what! Here eat this instead!” I knew they didn’t speak the same language but by anime if he wants something in his mouth at least have it be food!

He gingerly takes the offered food, for some reason he drapes some vines over it first, weird dude.

He seems to be inspecting the length of meat.

His eyes are trailing every inch as the vines tighten and greed sets into his eyes.

After letting the vines rest on the meat a bit longer he hungrily consumes it, shoving half of its length in.

It’s rather long and thick compared to most now that I think about it.

I can see something that I think is his tongue wrapping around fruitlessly trying to cover the entirety of its length.

It isn’t soon before his body starts to shudder at the unexpected gain, liquid flowing down his chin as he couldn’t even close his mouth.

The noises he’s making… wet, sticky sounding gags coming out as he’s forcing the meat into himself. And with a final shudder, he’s completely consumed the offered meat.

Well, while he did that I got some water to drink and started eating some fruit nearby. If you only eat meat you’ll get indigestion!

The rest of the group crawls over to me, I think they want some of it? I do clearly still have a few more and that guy really seemed to like it.

Or maybe not.

The group is just staring at me, the big one who I think was the leader, offers his head to me? No, he’s gesturing to the flower on top.

It’s a… sturdy flower. The color is really dense and the edges are spiked.

I wonder what kinds of plants these are? And if any can get rid of my headache. It hurts ;(

The other guy comes rushing over once he sees us, I can see the outline of my meat in his throat.

He gestured to the flower bud on his head, where did that come from?

It looks super soft though, maybe I’ll just touch it a little?

The bud trembles the moment I touch it, as I lightly run my finger on the light pink sides, he’s shivering as I slowly inspect it.

I lean down towards it, it’s actually kind of cute, and it seems like he doesn’t mind me touching him like this.

It looks really… delicious in all honesty, I want to bite it.

As I play with the bud it suddenly opens up!

Pale petals fill my visions and- oh my gosh it’s so soft!

I give the flower a little kiss for flowering for me.

I might not be able to find my way back but this is fun!

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And that was an incredibly long snippet from my self indulgence. It was supposed to be short which is why it isn’t on ao3 instead.

Well anyways I hope whoever read it enjoyed it and feel free to direct any questions to my askbox though most of this AU will probably end up on @rarepears blog if they’re okay with it.

Also some of the little things in here like Devon and carfucker are from his fraternity.

Devon is a guy who forgot to eat or drink anything several practices in a row while another person decided to start saying swears differently as to not disrespect mothers.

The ‘people’ in the fic are plants based monsters and beasts whose hierarchy is based on size and traits.

Thicker, rougher and sharper flowers are seen as the stronger and better fed while softer ones are seen as weaker.

These creatures can reproduce asexually or by deflowering another and it works like crossbreeding.

It works with most species though humans need an extra push for it to work with them.

Our MC has abilities from three systems that are needed because he’s not supposed to have them unless he transmigrated to that world.

[iamthecomet]

choking

thats it thats the prompt

also im so glad u liked my fic present!!

I loved my fic present. I'm not telling you how many times I've read it because I'm sort of embarrassed about it. Sundrop. Choking. Under the cut.

Sunshine's pulse is rabbit-quick beneath Dew's fingers. He taps them against the side of her throat, one after another. She presses her head back into the pillow, flattening her sweaty copper curls as she does. She exposes more of her throat to him. He admires the marks he's left, the way they arch from the hinge of her jaw to her collarbone, a pretty arch of black and blue. He grinds his hips. He's buried to the hilt inside of her, her leg around his waist locking him in place. Her heel dug into his ass. The grinding isn't enough, but it drags the head of his cock against a spot inside of her that makes her whine, and he can't get enough of it. She always makes the prettiest noises when he does this. When he builds her up and takes his time. She grinds her hips down onto his, trying to gain more friction. She digs her heel in harder.

"Dew," she pants, "come on."

"Greedy," he mutters against her ear. But he listens to her, he can't help it. Soon he's dragging his cock out and grinding back in with slow deliberate strokes that make her whine and dig her claws into his bicep.

He strokes his thumb along the artery in her throat, watching it hammer under her skin. He shifts his hand away from her neck, to press his thumb into her mouth.

"Suck," he orders.

She does. Laving her tongue over it to get it slick. He drags it out of her mouth, catching on her lip as he does. Then slips his hand down between them to press the wet pad of his thumb to her clit.

She whines, clenching down on him, dragging a moan from his chest. Her hips buck up against him, meeting him thrust for thrust, twitching into his hand.

"Are you gonna be a good girl and cum all over my cock?" Dew growls, his thrusts picking up speed.

She nods, helplessly. "Dew," she pants, hips grinding harder against him. "Dew you gotta."

"I know, Sunny, I got you." She whines like she doesn't believe him. She reaches between them and knocks his hand out of the way to take over. He'd be offended if he didn't know what she really wanted. Given the position, he can't exactly do both. He fits his hand over her throat again, finding the pulse on each side with practice. Her breath hitches before he even presses down, the anticipation of it making her pupils blow even wider. She's fluttering around him now, the wet heat of her dragging him closer and closer to his own orgasm. He fights against it. He's not ready for this to be over yet, not even close. He waits until he can feel the twitch in her thigh against his hips. Until her breath catches, and her body starts to go tense beneath him. Then he presses down with his fingers, digging into her pulse. She gasps, eyes rolling up and slipping closed. Her body goes taught, she contracts around him, dragging a swear from his lips as he fucks her through it, her body threatening to drag him down with her. She taps his shoulder twice and he lets go. The sudden rush of oxygen back into her blood sends her body immediately into another orgasm. She barks out a surprised yelp, and spasms around him.

He watches her, open mouth, rapt. This is Dew's favorite part. Her hands clench on his shoulders as she looks up at him, shock rolling through her features like she's somehow forgotten this is a thing her body does sometimes. If he could get his fingers on her clit and her throat at the same time he could drag this out for a while, until she was teary and begging him to stop. He'll have to change positions in a minute. Get her on top where he can lay back and orchestrate the whole thing from the best seat in the house.

He leans down, pressing his face against the side of hers. Inhales the summer smell of her, tinged with both of their sweat. He drives himself harder into her. She keens, panting his name into his ear. "You've got at least one more in you, Sunny. I know it."

She whines, her hips rocking up against his still, riding the high of overstimulation as he fucks into her. He feels her nod against his head. He turns, pressing his lips to sweaty curls just behind her temple. "That's my good girl."