#i swear I'll sleep after this sketch

[peachkinscheeks]

Practicing drawing jackfrost before my 7 am class tomorrow 😔😔 (I think I captured his essence more than before)

I used movie screen caps as references for these 🫶

[bi-writes]

MOB who has to stay with Johnny at his house while Simon is away on a solo mission? Like as a preventive measure, Simon has them both together in case soemthing happens to him while he’s away?

mail-order bride

"i...simon, i just don't--"

"just do it," simon murmurs. you quiet immediately, a little caught off-guard. simon has never interrupted you; even when you're a babbling mess, simon lets you finish your garbled sentences. he waits until your voice quiets, until your mouth closes, before he ever speaks to you, but this time, his tone is firm, and there is no room for interpretation. when you meet his eyes, simon is more than serious. "i don't ask ya for anythin', swee'eart. but this..." he reaches out for you, and you step closer instinctively, and when he cups your face in both hands, you can't help but melt. he leans his forehead against yours, and you close your eyes when you see the very subtle tremble of his lips. "do this fer me. only thing i'll ever ask of ya. i swear it."

you take a deep breath to center yourself. one of his hands wraps around the back of your neck, pulling you just that much closer, and you wait until your lips brush against his before you answer him.

"i...i have to go?"

"few days. tha's it."

"well, i...well, okay."

it's quiet up north. the weather dampens the entire coastline, what you can see of it, and the air tastes like salt. it was in your mouth as soon as you stepped off the train, and it only got stronger the closer you got to the cottage.

as soon as you step out of the car, you're greeted by the most quaint little house on a hill. there's vines climbing up the sides of it, wrapping around wooden structures and carving out a perfectly quaint home tucked amongst scottish greenery. it's breathtaking here; it's so quiet, and the way that you're allowed to breathe up here is unlike anywhere else you've ever been.

the meows coming from your backpack are the only thing that bring you back to earth.

"just inside, lass," a low voice calls behind you. "supper's 'bout ready now."

when johnny closes the door behind you, you're mesmerized by the coziness inside. his house is filled with warmth. there's plaid curtains pulled back from a stained-glass window, allowing in soft colors of light. the couches in his living room have throw pillows and blankets of mismatched linen and velvet, and his walls are filled with pictures and hanging green plants. there's candles burning, and the television is still playing some reruns of old rugby games.

the wood detail is exquisite. the staircase has little carvings of scottish motifs and flowers, winding up another wall of photos. the pictures are old and new, all of laughing people with johnny's big smile or his bright blue eyes or wearing the same plaid pattern as the fabric that you saw hanging in the closet.

a green kettle. a cross above the mantle with a psalm printed on it. a sketch on the coffee table (a skull, with a stub of a charcoal pencil still laying over it). rosaries hanging over a wedding photo with johnny in the background, holding up bunny ears. a wooden bowl of oranges (and oranges only).

"said ye'd be 'ere fer some time, tha' ye like ta bake. got some things fer ye at the shops."

you set your backpack down, opening the clear window of it, and two little cats hop out immediately. johnny raises a brow as he makes eye contact immediately with the orange tabby, a wicked grin coming over his face.

"i remember ye, ye little shite."

"what?" you laugh, and johnny shakes his head.

"nothin'."

it's late when he notices you looking out the window. the cats are curled up on opposite ends of the couch, in deep sleep after johnny gave them each a salmon dinner (and you pretended not to notice seeing the extensive recipe sheet that only your husband could have made on his phone). your eyes are on the sky; you can see so much of it here, twinkly stars and all.

"'m sorry ye have ta be here," johnny says lowly, soft enough that you aren't startled. you don't look away from the window, leaning your chin on the edge of the couch as you wonder if simon is looking at the same star you can't seem to lose. it's brighter than the rest, and it flickers to a rhythm that feels oddly comforting.

"it's not your fault, johnny," you assure him softly, and you turn away from the window finally to find him seated on the carpet, scratching the orange cat behind the ears. "he wouldn't...he wouldn't take no for an answer. not...not this time."

you frown a little, smoothing your right hand over your left, and your heart drops a little in your chest when the sparkle of your wedding ring matches the sparkle of your star.

"i've been staying home alone all this time," you continue, shaking your head. "and all of the sudden...a-all of the sudden he doesn't trust me?"

"oh, love..." johnny sighs, clicking his tongue. "tha' is...'s nae wot it is, i swear it."

"i...it's not...it's not me, right?" you ask in a whisper, meeting his eyes finally. "simon and i...w-we're doing so well..."

the expression that passes over his face is a sad one. it unnerves you to see it; johnny is someone that just isn't meant to be sad. his house is filled with so much love and so much life, and you swear you don't even recognize him anymore because he's void of a smile altogether.

"ye seen the pictures?"

you know immediately what johnny is talking about. you saw them the very first night you stayed in your shared home. across your house, there are a few picture frames covered with fabric or face-down on whichever surface they rest on. when you glimpsed at them, you peeked behind the curtain of a life that simon has that you don't know. even now, you have never felt strong enough to ask him about them.

it isn't because you think simon won't tell you; you're afraid to ask. you're afraid of who they are, what they are to him, and why he's never told you their names or introduced them to you. they exist in a separate place, and you don't know why, and when you saw him holding that baby--

you shake your head finally.

"i...i can't."

johnny hums low, looking down. he smooths his hands down his jeans.

"neither can he."

you close your eyes, but not fast enough. there's a few tears that fall down the curve of your cheek.

"when...when did--?"

"will be another year in a few days."

your lip shakes, and you take in a stuttered breath. you did not believe it possible to love simon any more than you already do, but it aches, that place in your chest that is reserved just for him. it hurts, in the worst and most incredible way, and you never want him to know another day without hearing you tell him how much you love him.

when simon comes to get you, just a week later, you're sitting under a sycamore tree at sunset. it's never been more quiet inside of your head, and when he takes a seat beside you, you say nothing for a few minutes.

simon thinks maybe you're angry for a moment, but then your hand reaches over to take his, and then you're scooting closer, until you drape yourself over his arm and bury your face into the side of his neck.

"i'm not going anywhere," you whisper, and simon turns his head slightly.

"wot's tha', love?"

"i'm not going anywhere, simon," you say again, and when he looks at you finally, you squeeze his hand. "wherever...wherever you want me to go...i'll go. wherever you want me to stay, i-i'll stay there."

when he kisses you, it's soft, and it's slow, and he feels faraway and so close all at once. you put your hands around his neck, along the back of his head, anything to get him closer, to feel more of him, but it isn't enough.

it won't be enough. not until simon devours you whole. not until you bite into him and never let go. not until beginning of you and the end of him are indistinguishable.

not until i make the time before us obsolete and the time after us endless.

when you are home, simon watches from the hallway as you pick up a picture frame on the dresser. it's been facedown there since he moved in, and touching it has always felt like it burns him. he's frozen as you flip it face-up, standing it back up. when he sees himself, many years younger, smiling, happy, holding a chubby baby with bright eyes and blonde hair, he's surprised his insides don't burst immediately.

he never thought he would be able to look at them again. he never thought he'd be able to see their faces without seeing the warped versions of them, the mirrors of them that he never believed could be real. he always thought if he looked at them again, he'd go blind--that he'd carve out his own eyes just to forget what was left of them.

but nothing remains. they're memories, beautiful ones, and he'd forgotten that his nephew even had dimples.

the photos get lost amongst the rest. they blend in, like they were meant to be, tucked between the warm ones of your smile and the orange cat standing on simon's shoulders.

there is nothing more intoxicating than the woman that simon has chosen to love. you make the worst of his mind feel afraid; the thoughts that threaten to upend him, they are retreating, withering away from the things that he thinks about now that you remain. the tendrils of you are everywhere; you have latched onto him like nothing ever has, and he will never be rid of this feeling. of you.

simon will not fight reality any longer. he won't tell himself fate is nothing but proof that god is unforgiving. god isn't real, you are, and whatever came before you was the road he had to follow to get to you.

and simon didn't just follow; he fucking crawled. he dug his hands into the stone, bleeding fingernails and all, and he kept going even when his legs didn't work and his mind told him there was nothing there ahead of him. it was not resilience. it was not a man made of metal or steel or something heroic or a miracle.

simon is just a man, and he is weak, but as he comes up behind you and breathes you in, he realizes now that he has known you his entire life. you are tethered by something that he can't see. you are connected by something invisible.

when you tuck yourself into bed that night, the pictures are still upright, the ones on the wall still uncovered. you fall asleep before him, like always, and simon cradles your head to his chest as his eyes find the window.

a star sparkles. it's the last thing he sees before he falls asleep beside you.

[blues-sues]

I'm working on crackships I swear... 😭 Have some art in the mean time!

These are some mew twos! Basically testing how a more mewtish 'two would look but I couldn't decide exactly how to go about it.

I ended up really liking the brown one in the second image as well as the one to the left of it... But also very much enjoying the one in the first image in the top left XD decisions... 😭 They were meant to be ADOPTS!!!!!!! Why do I do this to myself

@phlurrii actually now owns the spotty one in the second image! They clicked with it and I didn't so X3 I think it's a much better home hehe

If anyone's interested in my process for these specific kinds of designs, I saved two wips XD

Anyway! Most recent art is a mirage mew because we watched the special in a call! (I feel violent towards it when it makes noise grrr)

A design I have yet to finalize 😢... Sometimes when I'm about to sleep, I'll get sudden inspiration or a sudden design idea so I'll get up and very hastily draw a sketch and give a rough coloring (usually I wait until after lineart to do coloring at all even for new designs... maybe I should do concept sketches first more often instead of just one shotting XD)

noodel,,, why him so nakey,,, put on pants,,, pls,,,

Another spur of the moment middle of the night drawings. This one is meant to be a Rayquaza! I'll finish that eventually

Anyways,,, bye bye

[being-addie]

Rest Days

It's currently peak summer where I live, and it is SWELTERING. While I'm planning to be as productive as possible (I'm not kidding my sketchbook is with me 24/7 at this point), thanks to the heat, I'm finding it really hard to stay focused sometimes. So when I'm feeling particularly lazy, or just distracted I take a rest day. I feel like I can afford this right now more often because it's the holidays, but when my classes restart in June I won't be able to even sit down.

ANYWAYS. Here's what I'm currently doing during an easy rest day. Maybe you can take some inspiration <3

My rest days:

Sleep in: I sleep until it's nearly 7:30 - 8:00 am. It's late for me because usually, I wake up at 6:00 am

Move around: If it's cloudy, I'll go for a walk, otherwise, I'll cycle to the gym.

Breakfast: I usually have this thing, where I saute some veggies, scramble eggs, and cook savoury oatmeal, then mix it all together. It's healthy and filling and it's amazing with barbeque sauce. If I'm craving something sweet, I make banana-oat pancakes (which taste and look so much better than regular pancakes I swear)

Sit in the sun: It's morning, and the sun isn't harsh, so I sit in the balcony with my cold coffee and chat with my mom as I soak up that Vitamin D

Watch a little TV: I'll watch like 2 episodes of the show I'm invested in (I'm watching Big Bang Theory)

Get ready: Take my sweet time bathing, doing my hair and getting dressed.

Sketch: So this is both productive and relaxing for me, so I'll pull up Pinterest and do some practice or I'll go to a cafe and do a live study.

Do a little crafting: Ok so this is my therapy. I'm not joking. I put on some Lana Del Rey, and make a mess of my desk. I love making little handmade gifts for family (I just made this insane exploding box thing for Mother's Day lol) or making paper crafts. I'm learning how to crochet as well. Highly recommend it. Put in your earphones, get your scissors out and start making something. Doesn't have to be pretty, just keep going.

Watch the sunset: My gallery is so full of pictures, I don't have any room for anything at this point. 85% is just sunset pictures.

Evening: I just eat dinner with my sister and grandpa, and then we like to sing and dance as I load the dishwasher and she cleans the table.

Read: After chores are done, I read on my tablet for a while.

Sleep: Bedtime skincare and lights off at 10:30.

I've actually done this in way more detail than I thought haha, but this is basically a way more relaxed version of my daily routine, just no studying?? But yeah here it is.

Understand that rest days are required. You do not have to constantly work. Humans are meant to socialise and have fun, as well as work. We aren't worker ants or bees. Relax, and remember to breathe. Everything will be ok. xoxo.

<3

[pshenyasstuff]

Some sketches of my babies and y/n <3

And maybe I'll add a couple of thoughts about this variation.

cooking together

While cooking together, Karaku and Urogi usually do anything, but not cook. Urogi of course tries to help if he is asked about it, but it turns out badly. At least he tries. Karaku just eats and watches the others do something. Aizetsu and Sekido help y/n cook, but it usually ends up with Sekido getting dirty. Aizetsu is fine as long as he is not allowed to cut the onion, because the baby will then cry even more than usual (0((

Zohakuten does not participate in the cooking because he is still too young, but when he grows up he will be happy to help cook <3

Aizetsu

When Aizetsu has a nightmare or is just sad, he comes to you and cuddles with y/n while she cradles him like a baby. In the end they always fall asleep together 🥹

Don't ask me why but I think Aizetsu would watch Maya the Bee or Pororo. Just don't ask.

He probably wouldn't like games that are too violent, so he'd probably play some kind of peaceful and cute games

I don't know about his hobbies, but I think it would be drawing or jigsaw puzzles🤔

Kill me if he doesn't have a lot of soft toys in his room or he's not a fan of Hello Kitty

His mug would look like this:

Urogi

Urogi is definitely the type of child who jumps on his mother from a running start and hugs her tightly, especially when he misses her

He definitely has a little parrot, you can't convince me otherwise. The parrot has a cute name like "Kiwi"<3

I think we can all agree that he is a big fan of birds, so he would watch any bird documentary or bird cartoon

Bro rarely cleans his room unless he is reminded to clean💀

The most active among his brothers, so his hobbies would be related to sports, I guess

He must have had lice at least once in his life😦

His mug would look like this:

Sekido

Sekido doesn't have much affection for y/n at first, but over time he gets used to her and often holds her hand

I think he's the type of kid who watches horror movies at night thinking he's old enough but then bro can't sleep alone so he comes up to y/n saying things like "Ngh, just Karaku keeps me awake with his snoring 😒" and it doesn't matter that they sleep in different rooms

He's not a big fan of hugs, but he doesn't mind hugging occasionally

He is the oldest among the brothers and he loves to lead them. When y/n can't calm them down, Sekido takes on the role of parent.

He mostly gets mad at Karaku and Urogi. "STOP GIVING TROUBLE TO MOM, IDIOTS!"

I think he would be the only one who drinks coffee with y/n in the morning. His mug would look like this. He doesn't really care which mug to drink from as long as no one touches his mug.

Karaku

Fully enjoys kisses on the forehead and cheeks before bed, and he'll be really upset if y/n ever forget to kiss him.

He has such a soothing voice, so if he reads bedtime stories for his younger brothers, then they immediately fall asleep

Karaku watches horror movies with Sekido, but after just a few minutes of the movie, he looks like "😰"

Bro thinks babies are found in cabbage

I think his hobby would also be related to sports, but besides that, he could collect a herbarium

Maybe the type of kid who steals the parent's clothes

His mug would look like this, don't ask me why:

Zohakuten

He doesn't speak much, but for some reason he swears when his older brothers annoy him💀 how does he know these words..

He likes the company of Sekido, Aizetsu or y/n

He always says "mommy y/n" so adorably <3

I think he would be a fan of dragons and dinosaurs. I think he even has a soft toy dragon that he can't sleep without

As I said earlier, he and Sekido sometimes have violent outbursts where he screams and cries at the same time. After such situations, the poor baby asks for hugs on his own.

For some reason he gets jealous when his brothers try to stop him from hugging y/n. (Bro really looks like "😠")

So I hope you enjoyed this. Sorry if there are typos or anything like that.

[cheapsweets]

The Gabbling Wuggthea

My response to this week’s BestiaryPosting challenge from @maniculum (thanks again for posting these challenges!)

Pencil sketch, then lines in Sailor fude nib fountain pen, using Diamine Sepia ink.

Thought process under the cut…

"Rabanus says of the Wuggthea: ‘The Wuggthea gets its name from its talkativeness; not, as some would have it, because Wuggtheas fly in groups; clearly, they are named for the cry they give. It is a most talkative species of bird and makes an irritating noise, and can signify either the empty prattle of philosophers or the harmful wordiness of heretics.’

More can be said of the nature of the Wuggthea. The Wuggthea lives in the woods and flies chattering from one tree to another, as a talkative man ceaselessly tells others about his neighbours, even the shameful things he knows about them. When the Wuggthea sees someone pass, it chatters, and if it finds anyone hiding from the world, it does the same, just as a talkative man slanders not only worldly men but also those hidden whom a religious house conceals. A Wuggthea, captured and finally secured, is shut away on its own to learn to speak words clearly. Sometimes it happens that a Wuggthea, held in confinement, escapes; then the bird, which was formerly talkative, makes even more noise after its escape."

I'll be honest, I like the sound of this bird (probably a lot more than the author, from the sounds of it!).

We don't get a lot of description of the appearance of this bird, but I imagine it would be fairly small (since it flocks together), and fairly plain (as a fan of birds, 'plain' is relative, but I imagine if there was much in the way of distinguishing features they would have been mentioned.

I knew I wanted to draw a flock of these birds, ideally being as loud and obnoxious as possible. Then I had the thought of them bothering a traveller (hence the excuse for some more medieval-style oak trees). Then I thought about Disney Princesses, and Sleeping Beauty (with her entirely not period-appropriate outfit - as an aside, I found a new interesting website to check out...), being surrounded not by demure and deferential chirping cardinals and bluejays, but by a flock of overly enthusiastic Wuggthea all eager to show off all the great sounds they've discovered (and you just know that if any of these birds did escape from captivity, they absolutely will have learned some swear words along the way... :p

Not deliberately trying to guess the identity of this bird, but I did take a lot of inpiration from one of my favourite common birds that loves to adopt weird and interesting sounds, from radios and birdcall to car alarms (spoiler warning for what I think it might be, but I may have also taken a little inspiration from this post... ;)

[that-gay-guy-from-hell]

So on the TLT Discord, after posting the sketches of Zero and Rust, Nethie and Cage both mentioned swimsuits (context: I censored Rust in his boxers because i didnt know if it was too risqué)-- Nethie saying specifically the official tour posters. To be honest, i forgot about those outfits and wanted to do something with them so here's a WIP (I put a divider cause this is long-ish):

For this post I'm going to use he/him//his pronouns for the Tombsonas btw!

Contexr: While taking a break from surfing, Zero found out the hard way why Tesla avoids going into water that has living creatures in it. So, Zero being Zero, decides to poke the sleeping bear (quite literally) even more and enjoys being shocked by Tesla.... Who is debating if he wants to see if he can kill Zero using a ballpoint pen.

Rust helped Armstrong out of the water and found out that Army had made a few new friends; much to Army's excitement and dismay (he can't get them off of his diver's suit)

Also debating what tats. to add to Rust, so im open to ideas! Nothing on his arms or neck-- otherwise all my old art would bother me lmfao [This also reminded me that I've gotta make a ref for his piercings and scars--and where he has grey body hair (because it's where there was old scaring!)]

Spoilers for Doc's section of the "Chosen" comic, by the way, so skip this section if you don't want spoilers lol.

After seeing Doc just staring out at the water; not in a gazing in awe or fun way either, just staring. Zelimir decided to ask if Doc wanted to, quote, "-join him". Not being specific enough with his words, Zel finds out that Doc can manipulate water*. After a few moments, Zelimir explains that he meant to join him swimming not... whatever Doc was doing. Of course, Doc knew that Zel wanted that but figured it would be fun to mess around with him (plus, Marshall may be a tad bit afraid of swimming).

Drawing Doc as the canon model is so strange-- or well mostly canon (I'll never draw him without hair unless it is for a shitpost). Like having his normal outfit is so weird to me lmao

*During the Chosen comic "Survive" , when Marshall ends up joining with Doc, the mob who'd been attempting to murder Marshall (... let's be honest here, less normal just murder and probably more like linch Marshall) was drowned to death by Doc. Meaning Doc has to have some sort of water/muck manipulation abilities--even if it just cause Doc was living there. (Here's that panel btw- this is why I love Marshall and Doc)

So yeah that's about it! I plan to add more to the drawing (hence the weird cropping) and will *probably* resketch all of these but I figured it was worth sharing lmao

I also found out that i struggle less to draw feet if i draw animal paws eith the raised heel (like where they are on their front toes ina fursuit type thing) and then add a heel 💀 lmfao

Thanks for reading and looking at my work! Much love yall! /pos

(Also here's the poster with the swimwear in question-)

Also one more thing- It is absolutely HILARIOUS to me that Doc is in his 100% normal gear/outfit when going to the beach. No swimsuit- sunglasses- or even just like a flower lei; no, he's in his black (p)leather jacket, black jeans, an arm wrap, black boots, a black hat, and (the only extra thing) a black umbrella. Hopefully Tombsonas can't have a heatstroke lmfaooo

Okay I'm done yapping I swear lmfao

TLT MASTERLIST

[jamisonwritestf2trash]

not to flood your inbox but... what if the mercs found a freaking cat on the battlefield or base.... i saw that video of soldiers playing with a lil kitten... i gotta know what the boys (and also miss pauling) would do.... would it be an immediate ceasefire so all 16 grown men can play with a kitten... would they use a merc's room to house it.... its ligerallyy a kittycat omg ....

What Would The TF2 Mercs (+ Miss Pauling) Do If They Saw A Kitten Mid-Fight?

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Long title but cute idea!

Also never apologize for spamming my ask box, I love it, it helps distract me from the fact that I have no original ideas!

This is going to be a mix of on the battlefield and if they decide to keep the kitten!

Also rough because I only have a short blurb for the Blu team (sorry 😭)

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Red Team (+ Miss Pauling)

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Demo is the first one to see the kitten. I already headcanon that he has a cat he manages to hide from the other mercs, so he's ecstatic. Like eyes filled with joy, hopping up and down, and seeing kind of ecstatic. Immediately finds a way to get the others to stop fighting, if anyone dared to try and continue the fight he'd kill them immediately. Pets and comforts the poor cat because it's all scared :(

Engie is also very excited! He loves kittens, he would protect them with his life. He lays around and plays with the kitten once it's calmed down. Is already sketching out a cat tower and new room for the baby. Has made the executive decision that the Red team now has a team pet.

Heavy is right next to Engie, holding the kitten when Engie goes off to start sketching. Puts the cat on his lap and immediately almost starts sobbing when it curls up and starts trying to nap.

Medic comes over and I'm not going to lie this man is internally melting, it's adorable! But he's also slightly (insanely) worried because his birds always come first, and is always worried when anything threatens their safety. The other mercs eventually calm him down, swearing on their lives that his birds will be okay. He holds them to that, and eventually let's the other mercs keep it.

Scout is also a mix of super excited and sobbing "It's a fricken kitten! Look at it!" Definitely giving the kitten like a million kisses. Is acting so silly, and doesn't care. Booping it's little nose, slow blinking at it, showering it with love.

Sniper is indifferent at first until Scout steals his hat, turns it upside down, and drops the kitten in it. Then he has fucking heart eyes, a single tear running down his face from under his glasses. Turns away and just says fine to the idea of keeping it.

Spy is so against keeping the cat. It's going to be messy, it's going to be loud, and it's going to be expensive. No one else is going to take care of it. Classic dad does want a cat act. Guess who falls in love with the cat after one day?

Soldier is the most excited, hands down. Is so happy about the cat, it's so cute, it's so fluffy, it's just a baby! He's playing with the cat, giving it love, doing the most out of all of them. If the cat can't be found, you know he's with Soldier.

Pyro. Come on, of course, they're thrilled! Will let the cat crawl all around them, and also let it sleep on their gas mask. Just ugh, they're so cute together. Buys the cat little outfits and buys rainbow cat toys, dumps so much love, treats, and toys on this cat.

Ms. Pauling nearly tears down the door of the base after the match to come and see the cat. She is such a cat lady. She makes sure the cat is okay and even takes the cat to the vet to get all of it's vaccines and a microchip, ignoring Medic saying theirs no need, and claiming he can do it. Definitely began to visit the base more and more often, claiming she's only making sure they don't kill the poor thing.

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Blu Team

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I'll be honest, I don't think the Blu team would do well with having a cat. I headcanon these silly guys as dog people, they would probably be willing to give the cat over to the Red team for the benefit of the cat. They'd call off the match to keep it safe. All the mercs would sit and play, love, or cuddle with the cats with the Red mercs. Honestly, they enjoy the small break from fighting and just enjoy the time with a cat. Occasionally during a battle, they'll ask about the cat inbetween gunfire.

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I was going to work on this yesterday and then I slept instead 😭

I was up until like one writing the anime one but it was worth it to get it out, this one took me a hot minute too, but I kind of love how it turned out, I love cats and love the idea of the Red team being big babies for a kitten. Also! I love adding Ms. Pauling to things, she's such a silly too.

[dietmountaindewbae]

vi. stitches

alex turner x reader

word count: 4186

summary: Alex (humbug) gets in a fight, he pays you a visit seeking your help.

warnings: blood, pain k!nk, bdsm.

song recommendation: stitches by orgy

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*⋆ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*⋆ 

New York Fashion Week was coming up soon, you couldn't sleep well for the past few days you were working non-stop on the designs that you'd been perfecting since your year in college began, you were scared that they would be a total disaster but your teacher the one that convinced you to help her design the dresses promised you that you wouldn't disappoint her ever, she had noticed your desire for revolution in the industry of fashion, edgy and kinky, but yet an innocent exterior, the best designer pushed the boundaries of what's acceptable and they take risky chances she had told you, a leap of fate.

The night was calm, only a record of Cocteau Twins played on your computer, you were almost falling asleep in your sketches until two hard and loud knocks in your window woke you up, you jumped like a scared cat, and you glanced at your window.

"What the fuck are you doing here?!" You whisper-shouted.

"Uhm... surprising you?" He slurred, "Now, can you open the window please?" You noticed his black eye and bloody nose, and with no doubt, you opened the small window in your room and let him in, he fell on the small couch you had in your room.

"What the fuck happened to you?" There was blood coming out of the cracks of his forehead, "Alex, tell me who did this to you?" You quickly grabbed the first aid kit from your bathroom and rushed over to your room, beginning to clean his wombs.

"Some junkie" He groaned when you pressed down in the wound, "Fuckin' hell be more careful!"

"Well I'm not a fucking doctor, aren't I?!" You spat back, "Now be quiet before my neighbor hears us" You cleaned out the blood from his nose and threw away the tissue, at least he didn't break it this time but if he kept being such a dickhead with you, the odds of getting it were high.

"Is not like we're shagging or anything" God, how drunk was he? you could smell all the whiskey he had, he was utterly shitfaced, you raised his chin to check what other places he had more bruises, his nose was bleeding too, and he had a bruise on the right side of his face just below his jaw, you put your knee in between his legs you could reach deeper into his nose trail, he pulled you closer to him grabbing your hips, you exhaled loudly, "I can't believe you still wear your cross necklace after all of the things you and I did, remember?" He let out a deep chuckle, you were done with his attitude, and you grabbed him by the neck so he could look at you, "Still have trouble sleeping, love?" He said, choking up.

"Listen, if you keep this shit going I swear that I'm going to fuck you up, and even worse than that junkie, so either you shut the fuck up or I'll quick you out"

"Make me" He answered back with a cocky grin, you furred your eyebrows, this time you were done.

"That's it-" He pulled you in to sit on his lap and began to apologize over and over again.

"I'm sorry, alright? I'll stop" He said with honesty, "I don't know what's wrong with me, I know I'm not like this"

"You gotta stop drinking Alex, I'm serious" You understood why he was mad, almost half a year ago his heart got shattered, and since then he lost himself, bottled up his emotins and drank them until the bottle was empty, he kept this attitude for a long time, he began to change a lot and in the way, he stumbled across you, you knew he wanted to change and that's what you helped him to do, he let his hair grow out from that coconut hair cut you called, and let it grow out a bit more, he began to dress in leather jackets, and black boots, and a bit less tight jeans, he looked incredible, but he didn't feel that way, he had a fall out after you, even though he broke things off, he still wanted to get involved with you, and you tried to stay calm and take care of him no matter what he did, but he kept drinking and dissapering for days, you knew it wasn't like him, and it wasn't your intention to break his heart after he tried to come back with you weeks after the break up, but you didn't want to be with him, not until he got better, but you kept helping him whenever he came back to you when he was drunk, you couldn't deny him ever, and truth was he helped you out in so many ways, but in the times he wasn't there you had time to think, this relationship that you had with Alex wasn't going to end up well, or not until you knew what he wanted, it was you or the booze.

He was like a dog, that scratched your door whenever he was lost, "It's not that easy to do when the only thing that makes me feel good is whiskey"

"Did I ever make you feel good Al?" You questioned.

"What do you mean?" He said, "Of course you did, but you rejected me"

"Because you couldn't stop drinking, and you were gone for days, do you know how it feels to not be able to sleep because you weren't there? I didn't want to repeat that"

"I'm sorry" He repeated.

"I know you're fucking sorry, you said sorry so many times, but you never do anything about it" You felt your eyes begin to water, but you tried to stop them from crying, he grabbed your hands and hold on to them.

"I felt so scared to lose you, I didn't know what else to do" He confessed, "And I tried to find a way to fix things, I didn't want to keep hurting you because I loved you and I still do... I'm so lost without you" He was disorientated, so he fell on that bar stool again, trying to figure out why he always had to fuck everything up, he didn't do it, it was the effect of the alcohol that had him like this, he wasn't conscious of what he was doing, and if he was gone he dropped by Matt's he was like his brother, he opened the doors of his house to cuddle him in, but Matt was the reasonable one, he made Alex realize how much did he fucked things up, even if it was rough to him, since that moment Alex tried to get you back, but when you said no, he fell again into that black hole.

"So what's it gonna be then, me or the drinking?" You were giving him another chance, one last ultimatum, and he knew he wouldn't waste it for anything in this world, and this time he was going to do things right, he pulled you by the hair and kissed you needily, he deepened the kiss, he missed terribly the taste of your kisses, the feeling of your soft lips, he felt all of his wounds stitch-up, you wanted more each time he kissed you back, your heart was beating so fast you could hear it in your ears, you got up from the couch and walked back to your bed, he was fast to take off your hoodie and your panties, but what he liked the most is what was under it, he reached for your hands and pinned them together on your back, he momentarily tied them up with his belt, he had something bigger in mind.

"Mind if I use these" He grabbed a piece of long white fabric.

"Yeah, I wasn't going to use it anyway"

"Well, now we're going to use it" He ripped them into three pieces, "I'm gonna make you feel so good," You began to wonder what was going up in that clever mind of his, and the answer was satisfaction.

"What are you up to Turner?" You sat on your legs, already dazed, and soaking for him, he never looked at you with those eyes, penetrating your skull, you could almost imagine all the possibilities.

"You'll just have to wait for me a little longer" He moved your mirror, aiming it at your bed, he walked towards you grabbing your arm, and walking you to the mirror, you wanted to kiss him very badly, but he grabbed your wrists and pulled you against his chest, his hand ran from your collarbone down to your chest, he kneaded them roughly. In contrast, he kissed that spot he knew will send you away, and your legs began to feel weak, at that moment he had a better idea in his head, he pulled up the chair that you were sitting on a few minutes ago putting it in front of the mirror, you sat obediently, he didn't ask but you knew you had to, "Spread your legs" You opened them as far as you could.

He let you free, took out the belt, and replaced it with the white fabric, he began to tease you with the leather of his belt folding it in half, it was cold against your skin, and the next thing you know he hit your inner thigh with it, instead of you complaining you moaned, you followed him with your eyes and he switched to the other side smacking it as hard as the same time, you couldn't handle it any longer, you tried to untie yourself and reach down to rub your clit but he smacked your hand away.

"Unsatisfied little girl?" He ran the belt thru your collarbone, "You want more?"

"Yes," You whispered, "I want more, Alex" You knew his games, you knew that calling him Alex when he was like this, he felt he had power over you, and you liked it, you liked feeling the leather against your skin whenever he hit it, his hand reached to your neck, he kissed your lips teasingly.

"I want you to keep looking at the mirror the whole time, alright?" You nodded, "It's a yes or no question, not a nod, I want to hear it"

"Yes, Alex" He smiled and pecked your lips once more, his finger went down to your sensitive area that was throbbing for him to touch, you saw how his fingers went in and out of you first, how his thumb rubbed your clit in circles making your legs shake, moans fell out of your mouth each getting louder, you saw in your eyes how you were pleased and needy for more, each time he went deeper inside you, he went faster and slowed down when he felt you were getting wetter, "You're fucking crazy"

"About you" He went faster, and you saw the veins in his hand that made you go insane, "And you're crazy for me too" He stated, his voice raspy and deep but yet sweet, his fingers reached deeper inside you hitting that spot that made you cry out his name, but when he took them out you complained, you saw his finger covered in your wetness and he tasted them, humming at your taste, he pushed the chair back allowing to get in between your legs, "Babe, this time I want you to look at me for a moment," He said sweetly, he smiled a strand of hair that fell, he rolled it behind your ear, "Remember the letter I gave you?"

"Of course," You smiled at the thought, "I framed it" He glanced at the frame that was right next to a figure of Mother Mary.

"I meant every single word in that letter, My mouth hasn't shut up since you kissed it, the idea that you may kiss it again is stuck in my brain" He determined, "And I will always choose you,"

"I promise to help you when you need it the most, I love you," You said with despair, "I love you so much, the days I wasn't with you I felt how my heart shuttered, but when I'm with you it blooms" He cupped your cheeks kissing you tenderly, and lovingly, it was unlike any kiss you shared, "Promise me these kisses you've given me will be like this every day"

"I promise" You felt relieved, you didn't have to worry about him anymore, he promised to stay with you, it was like you could breathe after a long time of feeling sick, you felt cured, "Now where were we" He smirked, he kissed your inner thigh getting down on his knees and put your legs over his shoulders, you looked in the mirror, saw your nipples hard, and your skin filled with goosebumps, his hair made you feel tickles, you wanted to touch it, pull it and run your fingers across it, but it was almost impossible, he parted his lips and gathered up spit to lather you up, it was hot against you, his tongue went in circles on your clit and he spread his spit to blow some cool air on you, you gasped and arched your back throwing your head back.

"I can't wait to feel you inside me, fucking me so good" Your words were torturing him now, but they turned you on as you looked at yourself in the mirror, hot and tight for him, your eyes were dark, filled with lust and tearing up from the pleasure.

"You love looking at yourself like this, don't you?" You were the one who ended up fucked up, but you were glad you did, you needed it... you needed him, "You get so fucking wet for me, dirty little fuck"

"I want you so hard Alex, fuck me... fuck me everywhere" You cried out, in his mind, a plan was beginning, he took your legs off his shoulders and got you up, your legs around his torso he bend you over on your wooden desk, cheek pressed against the rough area, you heard the zipper of his jeans open but he went to move the mirror, he wanted you to watch everything he did to you.

"I want you to look at me thru that mirror, I want you to see how I fuck you, how you come in my cock, how I moan your name, how you moan mine" Giving you a hard smack in your ass, and grabbing it possessively, he slipped inside you and your eyes rolled back, you gasped each time he pushed himself inside you, felt yourself self spiraling down a hole, he made a mess of yourself you could see it so clearly, and you saw him enjoying every part of your body, his eyes were focused on the mirror and then they looked thru you with a smudge smile that made you feel wanted, his lips were parted making obscene deep noises, he pushed himself deeper your mouth fell wide open, your walls getting tighter, then he pulled you forward, you could see your reflection, his lips attached to your neck as if he was a vampire sucking your blood, you were speechless you wanted to say something but you couldn't he was fucking you so good all you could do was whine, scream and moan.

When he had enough of the table, he dragged you to your window you could see your reflection, your eyes shut Alex making you his, the sound of your skin colliding against his, his fingers traveling down to your heat circling, pressing it down, "Alex, what are you gonna do with does pieces left, huh?" You breathed out.

"First you're gonna cum for me, and then you'll see" He covered your mouth with his hand, and kept going harder surely living your ass red but you liked it, you liked seeing the after results from the hard sex he was giving to you, you had never felt so hot, he made you feel ways no man could ever make you feel, you knew you could die for him, it was so easy to fall into his arms, he comforted you, and he made you feel better than ever, he buried himself inside you reaching and pushing that button that made your legs shake uncontrollably, your covered his dick in your cum, just like he wanted, for a moment you thought you were done, he untied your hands and you fell forward gripping the frame of your window, trying to catch your breath, "I think that's enough for you" He pulled out of you, you sat in your window frame, still trying to compose yourself.

"No...n-no, I can... handle more" He looked at you, he was still fully dressed with his eyebrows frowned.

"Really?" He walked closer to you, and you said yes with no hesitation, "Beg for it" Getting on your knees you cupped his hands and ran them over your body, you took his hand down to your heat, even if it was sensitive you craved for more, you took his pulsing cock inside your mouth, he groaned pulling your hair so you could look at him in the eye, you were begging with them, hopeless but he stands firm trying to not let you get to him but he pushed your head making you gag around him and then let your head free.

Your tongue brushed the tip, and went in slow circles just to build him up, "Pretty please baby?" You asked sweetly, he smiled at you and brought you up kissing you passionately, you felt relieved, he laid you down in bed taking the remaining pieces of fabric and your wrist, he tied it to the corner of your bed and did the same to the other one, lastly, he sat on top of you.

"Be good to me" He said.

"Always" You answered, he covered your eyes the fabric was a bit transparent allowing you to see a bit but not too much, your room was pitch black except for the natural light of the moon that gave you some clarity, you felt his soft hands caressing your bruised warm skin, he quickly took his jeans and boxers in one drag, you heard the sound of the denim hit the floor, you wanted to rip his shirt off but you were helpless, he threw his shirt away you couldn't see it but you felt the need to run your hands over his chest, you could imagine his body a picture that you could easily draw with your eyes closed, he put his hands on either side of your head, you kissed his wrist and smiled, he took you by surprise when he opened your legs as far as you could, he aimed himself at your entrance and thrust his hips forward, he lifted your lower body grabbing your waist roughly and he got on his knees, you felt him deep inside you, writhing his cock as best as you could because he felt so good but you stopped as you had to be patient and keep your promise, even if it was hard to stop yourself but you didn't want him to stop.

He pushed his hips back and slammed his cock inside you, you moaned trying to unleash yourself but it was helpless you felt your skin fill with shivers, trying to concentrate on the pleasure and not the struggle, he sent you flying when he hit that spot once more, you felt how your cum was dripping down to your leg, you felt so sensitive feeling him so deep, stroking your walls it was just a few thrust until he made you cum again, you also felt him close but he changed the position, your legs up together, and he kept fucking you senseless, "You're a dirty cunt, coming all over me cock, I'm gonna cum all over your face" You groaned when he speeded up, going faster each time he pushed his dick inside you, tears rolling down your cheek.

"Please come all over me, I wanna taste you" Even if you were tired you felt it again, forming in the pit of your stomach, but this time every time he thrust you could picture vividly your skin against his it made you feel so turned on you couldn't handle it anymore, Alex was in awe, impressed by how loud were your moans and the praises of his name, that filed his pride he rubbed your clit in circles, and you came in hot on the bed, you cried out and yelled, he slowly pulled out of you and took your blindfold off, "Alex?" He was impressed, with what you did but you didn't know what just happened.

"I love you so fucking much," He said with a chuckle, "Fuck babe" He ran his hands thru his messy hair, "You made a mess"

"I'm sorry I couldn't... I didn't..."

He covered your mouth, and you were drowned in embarrassment, "It's ok... more than ok! That's the hottest thing I've ever seen you do or like the second I don't fucking know, let's make a mess..." He stared at your eyes which were almost as wild as your hair, "Lioness"

"Fuck off"

"Bet you don't want that" He pulled your blindfold down covering your eyes again, he put his leg in between yours, propping his cock inside you, and put your other leg on his shoulder for leverage, pounding his cock inside you, he felt himself closer but he wanted more from you, "I want you to come again, do that for me doll" You were gasping for air, he was being so rough, but you loved it, there were so many emotions that you were feeling, you didn't know if you could handle more, yet you wanted to feel it all at once like a wave.

"Alex, I-I...can't" He licked his thumb and rubbed your clit in hard circles, pressing it down, you grasped the leashes feeling it again, you couldn't compose yourself anymore, he kept pounding your cunt slow but deep, you were fueled with satisfaction, he could see it.

"I know you can do it, relax babe" He slowed down, and his thrusts began to slow down but still reached to press those buttons one last time, you gasped for air, feeling your heart speed up and slow down, you were dizzy the waves of pleasure washed over you, your mind clouded with lust, he quickly pulled out of you, taking your blindfold off now it was your time to help him, you took him in your mouth once more, he grabbed the bed frame while he pushed his hips to fuck your mouth, you gagged and gasped until he came in your mouth, he didn't even have to ask for you to swallow, "Good girl" He untied your wrists, you felt your whole body trembling, and even that didn't stop you from fetching your sketchbook.

"Thought that you were tired, babe" He cupped your cheek and kissed it.

"Fashion never sleeps"

"But you and I do" It's true, but he gave you inspiration for another piece, never the less he grabbed your book and took it away from you, "You have to sleep, darlin'"

You frowned, you knew he was right, "I know but I have this idea on my head I have to draw it, it's gonna be quick, I swear" He handed it over to you, and he laid down your chest and saw you draw the new piece, you had the idea of a skirt and a shirt that had ripped pieces of white fabric, maybe the top could be a long sleeve that reached to the hand, maybe it could go with boots, but you could figure that out later, when you finished you smiled at it, Alex loved to see how you carefully drew every last detail, you were patient and that was what he loved about you the most.

"Brilliant" He took a closer look, he knew how special you were, "Are you sure these are sketches?" You answered with a chuckle, he flipped thru the pages until he ran across a drawing, it was the profile of a man with long hair, he flipped to the next page and saw a full drawing of his face, you had a vivid picture of him, of his defined jaw, and nose, his big brown eyes, his bushy eyebrows, and his thin and broken lips that you yearned to kiss, he didn't have words.

"You like it?" You asked, you didn't like how quiet he was for the first time.

"I fuckin' love it... you made me look good for the first time" You groaned, and rolled your eyes.

"Don't be like that Alex, you always look good"

"Now it's me turn to draw you" He sat like a little boy with a big smile, and he began to draw your eyes.

"Make me look pretty"

"You're not pretty, darlin'" Your eyebrows pushed together, "You're gorgeous"

A/N:

Hope you didn't think I would actually write smut to a Shawn Mendez song, and I also hope that you listen to the song it's very moody. love u <3, i hope you enjoyed this chapter, and the intensity wasn’t too much for you, anyways let me know if you would like more chapters like this. 

[wanderingthroughsands]

I. Things we can’t control

Maybe I'm going crazy You're looking at me like we just had a fight as I'm waking I know it is hard to let go The things that I have said as you lie in bed til tomorrow I keep my secrets tonight

– "Don't believe your dreams" by The Burma

„Becca, you are a lifesaver!”

Usually, when I arrive at the office early in the morning, the rooms of our editorial department are still hushed, with only few voices to be heard. In Venetta Publishing we start our day by powering up the equipment (and waiting a few minutes for it to be fully operational), exchanging brief pleasantries, and savoring coffee from the small café on the building's ground floor. And it is precisely this coffee that seems to be what saved the life of my internship supervisor, Veronica Craig.

"Thank you so much", Veronica said with a broad smile as she leaned over her desk to take the cup from me. "And I promise, this is the last time I'll ask you to bring me coffee. I don't want you to remember this internship that way."

"I've already forgotten about it", I replied, smiling, as I took my seat, placing my own cup and bag on the windowsill behind me. "Besides, what kind of intern would I be if I didn't do this at least once? Isn't that what we were made for?"

"Not here."

Our desks were arranged in an L-shape, giving me a perfect view of her profile as she leaned back in her chair and almost reverently took the first sip of her drink. I decided to use the moment to turn on my computer, which, as usual, stubbornly ignored my commands.

"You wouldn't believe the morning I've had!" Veronica continued after a moment, visibly relaxed just by holding a cup of coffee in her hand. "And what a night! If it weren't for Martin and his extremely important meeting this afternoon, I'd probably have taken a sick day."

"Why, what happened?" I asked, still not looking at her, but at the ever-blinking loading icon on my screen. I swear, just entering the password on this machine should earn a degree in computer science.

"Luke stayed over last night", I thought I heard this particular note in her voice that involuntarily brought a smile to my face. Noticing it, Veronica quickly added, "But that's not the reason for my distraction, young lady! At least not the only one. I was plagued by nightmares all night."

"Nightmares?"

"The worst ones! As soon as one ended, another began, as if they were determined to torment me. The last one was so intense that I woke Luke up and wouldn’t let him fall asleep until morning, just to avoid going back to sleep."

I tore my gaze away from the computer and finally looked at her closely. Despite her makeup, she indeed seemed tired, if that could even be said about someone as energetic as Veronica. Her eyes were smaller than usual, and the few wrinkles on her forehead suddenly appeared more pronounced.

"Do you remember what that last nightmare was about?"

"The doomsday", she replied instantly, involuntarily adopting a serious tone. "I was watching the world fall apart. Pieces of buildings were being sucked into a vortex hanging in the sky, streets were tearing away from the ground. I knew it would pull me in any moment, but there was nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide. So I just stood there… and waited."

"Didn't you and Luke watch some horror movie or another 'documentary' series on conspiracy theories before bed?" I asked, sketching quotation marks with my fingers.

Veronica responded with a lopsided smile.

"We had more interesting things to do", she said, making me snort and shake my head, exchanging amused glances with her.

"You know what?" I said after a moment of silence, as Veronica once again clung to her coffee cup. "Next time you have a nightmare, try to remember this conversation. Think of me and how you told me the doomsday was just one of your bad dreams. It usually helps me to rationalize my dreams like that."

"I read a similar piece of advice online when I couldn’t sleep, but I’ve never been able to pull myself out of a dream."

"Then I'll help you", I said, putting on the most endearing face I could muster. "Just look at this friendly face; how could you have nightmares when you see it?"

"Let’s not forget this friendly face brought me coffee today! A true remedy for a nightmarish night and a nightmarish day!"

Venetta Publishing became my second home just under two months ago. After several unsuccessful job interviews, I ended up applying here just and quickly started to learn the entire publishing process from Veronica and a handful of other editors. It might not have been the fulfillment of my college dreams, where I imagined myself in a large, thriving editorial office, but day by day, I grew to appreciate the intimacy and almost familial atmosphere of this place. Every day around noon, someone would go out to bring lunch for everyone. The couple who ran the business were demanding but also very willing to share their knowledge. And most importantly, I got to work with words, helping aspiring writers, who longed to one day see their publications on bookstore shelves, to make their dreams come true.

Living with my mom allowed me to afford this job. My earnings were enough to pay off my student loan and contribute to the household bills, so it’s safe to say I was living much like many other young people still searching for their perfect path.

I tried so hard to be happy with a life I built for myself. I found satisfaction in conversations with colleagues, in my mother's pride, in meetings with friends, in occasional dates...

But that constant sense of fear and anticipation, the sense I could never forget, always drew my mind back to the world of the night, to the endless loops of dreams and nightmares, where I could finally do what I really felt best at—awakening.

After a full day of work, I usually took the train home, followed by a bus that dropped me off almost at my doorstep. That day, on my way back, I was talking on the phone with Alyssa, a college friend, about her upcoming wedding and choosing a destination for the honeymoon. When I got to the apartment, mom was already there—sleeping on the couch after what was evidently an extended shift at the hospital.

"Rebecca?" She murmured, hearing the sound of the lock turning in the door.

"It's me", I replied, instinctively lowering my voice. "Go back to sleep; I'll just put away the groceries and head to my room."

"How was your day?" I could barely understand her through the massive yawn that accompanied the question.

"It was fine. Veronica gave me a few sample chapters to review. Get some rest, mom, you have another night shift tonight."

"I know, I know... I just wanted to see you for a quick minute."

I sighed softly and knelt beside her with a gentle smile on my lips. She was loosely covered with a blanket, and the messy bun she had hastily tied before leaving yesterday had left no trace. Despite her exhaustion and demanding job, she still looked very young for her age. My gaze wandered over her delicate face, then to her work uniform, which she hadn't taken off upon returning home, finally settling on the ID badge pinned to the front pocket of her apron. Meredith Surrey, RN.

"My beautiful girl..." Mom smiled broadly and reached out to touch my face. "I left dinner in the oven for you, in case you're hungry."

"Thank you. How was hospital today?"

"Rough shift", she replied, briefly closing her eyes. "We had three victims of a car accident; apparently, the driver fell asleep at the wheel. He was with his five-year-old son and unfortunately... That sight really got to me today, you know? The father will never fully recover, and when he finds out his child didn't make it... Maybe that's why I just had to see you now."

"Mom..." I felt like working as a nurse constantly reminded her of my accident, which she had taken much harder than I did. As far back as I could remember, it had always been just the two of us, and my mom had always worked hard to ensure I never view it as something negative. It was thanks to her and only her that our life was so good and peaceful.

"Try not to think about it anymore; there was nothing you could have done to make the situation better."

"You're right, dear. What happens to us is so unpredictable; sometimes there's literally nothing we can do..." I didn't respond, so mom smiled again and added, "Go eat something and rest, you definitely need it. I'm taking a day off tomorrow, so maybe we can spend the afternoon together?"

"Sure", I said, standing up. Before leaving, I tucked the blanket up to just below her nose. "But for now, sleep. You still have a few hours left. Should I wake you before nine?"

"No need, I've set my alarm. I'll come say goodbye to you before I leave."

Between returning home and locking the door behind my mom, I spent most of my time reading—first the sample chapters from Veronica, then a book that had consumed most of my free time over the past three days. As night fell, a familiar sense of anticipation began to build, urging me to put my reading aside. Just like before every night full of nightmares, a new energy surged within me, so distinct from the usual mundaneness of daytime. I felt... excited. Alive. Ready.

I lay down in bed in complete darkness, listening to the muffled sounds of the street and the upstairs neighbors' TV. It was nearing eleven, and the fatigue was beginning to make itself felt. I rubbed my eyes, as if trying to rid them of sand, then yawned and settled comfortably on my pillow.

I knew perfectly well what would happen next. I couldn't wait for it. Falling asleep was, as usual, accompanied by a sense of anticipation, mixed with just a touch of fear. For a fraction of a second, this feeling reminded me of the couple from the park, who over the years had become somewhat hazy and unreal in my memories.

And then the nightmares began. I passed through them as if moving from room to room, extending a hand to the troubled dreamers, creating passages for them to the real world. Some nightmares lasted only a few seconds, while others seemed to stretch on for hours. Periodically, Every so often, I would take a break in the green world I had found myself in right after the accident – there, I rested on the grass and watched beautiful, peaceful dreams unfold. Yet, I would return to the nightmares fairly quickly, knowing I was needed there. I woke people of all nationalities, creeds, children and the elderly, women and men, pulling them out of their own terror, showing them the way to wakefulness. Some freed from the nightmare themselves as soon as I convinced them that it wasn’t real. Others I guided personally, offering help and reassurance. This night was no different from the others, during which I kept fulfilling my personal mission of awakening. That is, it wouldn’t have been different, if not for…

Fiddler's Green, as some of the dreamers called this place, was invariably peaceful and warm, like a summer afternoon. I wandered through it leisurely, searching for the next door to the next nightmare, just as I had the very first time. Time itself flowed a little differently here, allowing me to meet hundreds of people in a single night and give each one enough attention. And within the Fiddler's Green, I could ‘rest’ from my duties  and let my mind drift away a little bit.

And it was here, for the second time in my life, that the feeling returned – the rustling bushes in the forest, the overwhelming tension that directed my gaze between the trees.

A man with dark hair, his skin as white as snow, emerged from the forrest with a slow, calm stride. Just like that day in the park five years ago, he was dressed in a long, black coat that gently billowed in the wind, and as he approached, he looked straight into my eyes. In his dark irises, I saw true infinity, as if he held the entire universe within himself…

But I saw something else too, something that made my heart suddently beat even faster – a threat.

"It was a challenging task to find you, Rebecca Surrey", he said in a deep voice that could crumble rocks. I couldn't tear my eyes away from him, and though I desperately wanted to take a step back, something held me in place.

"It is not very challenging to hide in the world of dreams, is it?" I replied, trying to sound as calm and confident as possible. „Most people do this every night.”

He smiled, but there was absolutely no joy or amusement in that smile. In fact, I couldn't discern any emotions on his face – yet I had the overwhelming, crushing sense that I had never before been in greater danger.

"You only hide when you have reasons to", he said, each word bringing him closer to me until he finally stopped, so close to me that if I were taller, our faces would almost touch. "No one of your kind should interfere in other people’s dreams. That is why I cannot allow you to do this any longer."

"I don't really come here on purpose, at least I hadn’t when I first appeared here.” I said. „It all started with the accident I had five years ago. And with... seeing you."

"Me?" A flicker of surprise flashed in his eyes, but only for a second. "Rebecca Surrey, what you do endangers both your world and mine. And if it's not stopped, it could cause permanent damage that even I will not be able to repair."

"Stopped?" Despite the fear slowly creeping into my stomach, I still couldn't look away from his eyes.

"It truly saddens me." He tilted his head, as if observing a capricious child. "You are an anomaly. A threat to the Dreaming; a threat that must be eliminated for my realm to remain intact."

"Then show me how to stop appearing in others' dreams. Believe me or not, I don't want to hurt anyone or cause destruction; I only wanted to help. But if my actions cause any harm, I'll give it up right here and now."

"Even if you stop interfering with nightmares, your unexplained power is too great for me to allow you to live with it.” He replied. „Harmony must be maintained, and you, Rebecca Surrey... you disrupt the harmony."

He reached out to grab my shoulder, but I immediately recoiled. A dark shadow passed over his face as he saw me retreat.

"You do not want to challenge the Dream Lord," he said coldly. "You would not succeed. I’m only doing what I must to keep both my world and yours safe."

"I’m sorry then, Dreamlord" I replied, gathering all the strength inside me that had always helped me wake up, "but I just can’t let you do that. You will have to find another way."

I clenched my eyes shut, and when I opened them, I was lying in my own bed again, gasping for breath, overwhelmed with fear... with the mysterious man's statuesque face still etched in my memory.

[once-upon-a-pirate-ship]

totally dumb and completely ridiculous (or: words to describe falling in love)

read my newest fic on AO3 here!

or, below the cut

summary: Emma Swan doesn't do love. She doesn't do romance, she doesn't do dates--none of it. Even if there's a charming professor hanging around who's tempting her to break her own rules.

just under 2k words

rated t for language

you can read my other fics on AO3 here!

taglist friends: I'm sorry again, I'll get the list and I'll fix it, I swear.

Emma Swan didn’t do love.

She didn’t do relationships or even dates and especially not ones with flowers and pink dresses and reservations and walks after dinner in the breeze that lifted off the water. She wasn’t the sentimental type, she wasn’t the type to sit by the phone, waiting for a ring or a buzz with a message from some guy. 

Maybe this stemmed from her independent-to-a-fault personality, maybe it came from one too many dates gone bad—or maybe she just wasn’t cut out for that kind of thing.

Love.

The thought of it made her stomach spin. That was something she hated about butterflies, too—how could you tell if your gut was screaming at you to run if there were stupid bugs flying around clogging up the alarm?

She’d spent years clipping their wings so they couldn’t make her fly. She didn’t want to fly. Flying meant leaving the ground, it meant letting your feet do something other than stay firmly planted in reality and reason. Flying meant feeling. 

So, naturally, the second she met Belle’s colleague—he was a professor, for fuck’s sake—and those butterflies started planning out aerial formations, she brought out her metaphorical scissors. 

Three weeks later, she created The List. Sketched out on a back page in her notebook:

Reasons Why I’m Not Romantically Available

     1. My schedule is chaos. 

Finishing her degree online was good in theory, but that theory failed to take into account that she still had to work and make money and also somehow maybe find time to sleep in between all of that.

     2. Money.

She didn’t exactly have the disposable income to spend on fancy date outfits or meals out. Plus, grilled cheese was one of her main food groups, and that wasn’t suitable Date Food.

     3. I don’t even like the guy. 

He was too charming, absolutely not sincere, totally a player. No matter what Belle had said. 

     4. He definitely doesn’t like me, so it’s not even worth making a list over. 

He refused to even say her first name—not exactly a sign of affection, right?

She frowned at the list, the one she’d written out instead of taking notes for her upcoming quiz. Four was barely a list. 

She huffed, pushing the notebook away from her and letting the pen clatter over it, a small line of ink marring the last point from the way she’d thrown it. This was so dumb, and she knew it. It was nothing, really. There was…nothing. 

This must’ve been a sign that she’d been hanging around David and Mary Margaret too much. She was reading into things. Trying to find romance where there wasn’t any. Even though she didn’t, as a rule, do romance. 

She took a fortifying swig of her hot cocoa, dragging her notebook back and turning it to a clean sheet, determined to do the thing she was actually supposed to be doing. She was so close to finishing, and she wasn’t going to let some guy distract her from it. 

—

Her last final taunted her. Her homemade study guide was its accomplice, and every single time she tried to read, it made her brain flutter around without a care in the world and without consideration for her final grade. 

She couldn’t afford to make a mistake now. She was practically there, her fingers twitched with the thought of holding the tangible evidence of her success, a diploma in all its glory after so many years. She was so goddamn close. 

But she hadn’t been able to focus for like a whole month. And her chest ached from trying to latch a tether onto it—she was so sick of that unsettled feeling, that wandering, that dread mingling with sick curiosity—none of it made sense.

It didn’t make sense that her hands trembled against her keyboard, like she was terrified of the words she wouldn’t write. It didn’t make sense that her jaw kept itself locked into a place she’d never gone, tension snapping her into bits and pieces. 

Her frustration with herself bubbled up at inconvenient times, it mocked her for a poorly written sentence, it buried a knife in her gut when she missed a question on a practice quiz. She’d been pushing herself for years, doing her best and practicing to do better and she’d always been able to let some part of her believe that she could do this, but now, at the end, when it really mattered? 

She was three steps from the top of this goddamn mountain, and her shoes were untied. 

In this analogy, she was clumsier. 

She couldn’t track it. She couldn’t break it into bite-sized fragments of logic that she could comprehend. She’d just been feeling like this with everything, all the time, since—

Fuck.

There wasn’t a glow of a lightbulb over her head, but there was a fairly satisfying click in her brain when she finally figured it out. 

It wasn’t her fault. 

The relief she felt from that thought was powerful, but it wasn’t more powerful than the irritation at the person whose fault it was. 

She didn’t care that it wasn’t fair to blame him, she was just glad that she didn’t have to blame herself anymore. And maybe it was the easy way out of this emotional circle of hell, but she had to do what she had to do. 

She grabbed her keys. 

She must’ve looked ridiculous, plodding to her car in slippers and sweats and what was quite possibly the oldest t-shirt she owned, but once again, she didn’t care. 

She didn’t care that in the six times she’d seen him she’d cataloged enough information to know exactly what street to turn on—it should’ve pissed her off that she remembered that it was Tuesday and he had a class after six every Tuesday and then he went to his office and did the grading he refused to pass off to his TA, because my students are here for an education from me, Swan, and they don’t deserve feedback from some ponce who has yet to learn how to read a clock. 

It was ridiculous, it was all so ridiculous, and she muttered that under her breath all the way there, her fingers thudding uneasily against the wheel. 

Three dinners at her friends’ houses, two coffees with Belle that turned into two coffees with more than just Belle, and one birthday party for Ruby at their local bar—she’d ignored the hardly subtle comments from not one but three of her friends, she’d ignored the suggestive glances they’d given her, she’d ignored the nagging in her gut that wanted to tell her things about him.

She’d sat beside Belle, across from him, and she’d tried so hard not to listen to the voice telling her that he understood. Just because he met her gaze when she’d fallen silent after a particular comment from Mary Margaret about the concept of home didn’t mean that he knew what it was like to grow up without one. And at coffee that first time, just because he’d supplied Belle with the perfect conversation to distract from her unanswered question did not mean that he recognized her need to evade the subject until she was ready to deal with it. And just because he—

It was so fucking dumb. 

It was dumb that she felt her heart twist right there in her chest when she saw his name on the directory, telling her to go up the stairs and down the hall.

It was especially dumb that she hesitated at his door, because she’d come all this way, and she wasn’t a coward, and all she really knew was that she absolutely had to do well on this last final and—

Well, that wasn’t the only thing she knew.

He was wearing his glasses when he opened the door, his hair ruffled as if he’d had his hand through it one too many times while grading. His pen was still in his hand.

“Swan,” he greeted, happier to see her than he should’ve been. Or maybe he just should’ve seemed more confused. His brow furrowed when his eyes trailed down to her slippers. 

Irritation bubbled within her to hide the embarrassment. “We need to talk.”

His lips quirked into that half-smirk. “I find that when a woman says that—”

She rolled her eyes, pushing past him into his office.

“By all means, come in.”

And then she was just standing there in front of him, in that stupid t-shirt that she should’ve thrown out at least four years ago, and he was there, waiting expectantly. Because she’d come all this way to interrupt him.

“What can I do for you, love?”

Her hands itched at her sides; she tugged them into fists. “This is all your fault,” she snapped. It wasn’t exactly what she’d planned to say, but she’d said it.

Killian took half a step back, his eyebrows shooting up. “My fault?”

“Yes!” she cried. “I have things to do, Jones. Important things. Finals I need to finish—you are familiar with the concept, aren’t you?”

“Aye,” he replied, partially amused, partially concerned. 

“I have goals. A checklist. Things I’m gonna do—things I have to do. And I can’t afford to waste a whole night of studying all because I—” She snapped her mouth shut, her chest heaving slightly from the exertion of anger. 

“Because you…what?”

Her jaw went rigid. “You.”

“Me?”

She practically growled, “Yes, you.” She crossed to him, an accusing finger landing on his chest. “You. I can’t get you out of my fucking head and that’s so unacceptable. I have goals, Killian Jones. No one is going to stop me from achieving those goals, not even you.”

He blinked a few times, confusion and slight indignation dissolving into wonder as he stared at her. “You…?”

She grit her teeth, withdrawing from him to relocate closer to the door where she could think better. His proximity made the butterfly army into a butterfly armada. 

“Swan,” he murmured.

Her gaze fixed on her stupid slippers. “This is ridiculous,” she huffed. She hated this. She hated feeling things. She hated that she wanted to feel things. 

“Swan,” he repeated, closer this time, and her head snapped up, her gaze locking with his. The sea churned in his blue eyes, even behind the frames of his glasses, and she was so fucking adrift. An absolute goner. 

“You’ve been in my thoughts as well—though I have no desire to banish you from them,” he said, his voice warm and tender. “I quite enjoy your company, Swan, and when I’m not fortunate enough to have you around, thoughts and memories ease a bit of that…pain.”

“Pain?” she echoed, her eyes frantically searching his for evidence of a lie she knew she wouldn’t find.

“I miss you, Emma. I’m not entirely certain that I’m allowed the privilege of missing you, but I’m afraid I can’t help it at this point.”

She swallowed, trying to find her feet just to know she was grounded. “I…”

He took her silence as a reply, stepping back and away from her. And that was the moment she felt like her feet lost hold of the ground. 

“Wait, Killian—” She caught his arm, tugging him back or meeting him somewhere in the middle, she wasn’t quite sure which. 

“Emma?”

He glanced down to see his hand now entwined with hers, and her heart roared at the sight of the pink that tinged his cheeks. And she’d been wrong. It wasn’t quite flying. It was landing. It was coming home. 

At least, that was what it felt like when their lips met. 

[palialaina]

Since everyone has been nagging at me to take it easy, I've finally gone ahead and... made an attempt.

Look, with a garden you don't get days off, so sue me!

I did make my second glow worm farm, so hopefully now I'll get more worms! Does mean more beachcombing for me, but like... This is not a hardship. I can take pictures of the amazing view too!

Though I probably shouldn't drag Jel with me more than maybe once a week. The man has so many commissions and I certainly can't sew well enough to help him catch up! He does seem to enjoy me sitting near at hand though, while he's working on something. We don't talk, he sews, I... read.

He swears I can practice the lute, but I don't really want him to hear me do it badly. So the lute stays home for now. Mostly I read, but...

Well, while I can't say Caleri's library is bad, I will say that it feels like it's missing something. History is all well and good, but... History can be dry and dull, and I want... I don't know. More than that? I've tried to read Auni's books about a hero, but they read too... I suppose picturesque. They're made for kids, and I'm not a kid. I want a little realism in my stories, but not a lot of realism.

Lark thinks I should write my own book, but I don't know. I know what reads as good prose, I don't know if I can write my own. I don't even know what I'd write about, and I feel like anyone who learned I was writing would expect something Very Human from me, like... i don't know, an autobiography or something?

Which I bet I would find boring even if I did remember where I'd come from. And writing of how my life in Kilima has gone so far... that's just these journal entries. Way too personal.

Maybe I'm thinking about it too much, I don't know...

On a less existential crisis note, I have finished some more house stuff!

The bathroom is tiny, no lie, but it's amazing. Honestly, the hardest part was the wall paneling stuff! Tish helped me install the sink and the overhead cupboard.... mostly by using Reth as a tall person~ I paid him in macarons.

Look, I offered coin, but he said no! So I had to get sneaky and threaten him with Lark! He said I played dirty and took the macarons. So... I win? Jel was a little put out that I didn't ask him, but he was impressed with how I put it together. He also said this little living room is cozy, and he can't wait for all of us to gather again for more board games and scary stories.

Reth is not allowed to tell scary stories any more. Or at least, not Grimalkin themed ones. Jeez. I couldn't sleep after he told that one, and ended up crashing on the couch in Jel's shop for a midday nap.

I think Jel found it cute. But yeah. I'm not letting Reth tell stories again.

I want to make a couple more chairs, since Reth said he wanted to invite Tish next time we played. Maybe I could make a small room off the kitchen for storage? Oh, or I've got an extra tent packed away, maybe I could use that for holding any extra chairs and things for if I get more guests.

I mean, it's that or I build room onto the kitchen and make the dining room bigger and fancier, and I just.. I dunno. I'm not a fancy person? I'll have to think about it.

It's kinda funny though; every time I think I'm done with my house, I get a new idea. And I still want to paint and sew things in a more... me color scheme, but I also really could use that stroage upgrade Tish says she has. I've almost got enough. And man, it's hard to resist buying the paintings and rugs down in the nightmarket. I've managed it so far, but dang is it hard!

Good thing I don't need any more flow tech from Zeki...

Maybe if I sketch out the room, I can figure out what I want before I buy anything... And remind myself that I want the house to be comfortable and cozy for all my friends.

[poptartmochi]

okay so what I was going to post before I noticed I got polls was!! i went through some of my sketchbooks and encountered some sketches i was 🐗 about.. i wanted to share them on here!! I'll put them under a readmore since y'all know I like explaining things 🫣

first off is one of my Steven Universe OC's... pearl!! 😳😃 what pearl? I genuinely could not tell you anymore 🫣 but from what I remember, she was a supporting character to my main OC, Aquamarine (the reveal of the canon aquamarine killed my interest in the show 😭). The two worked on this off-Homeworld ship but rose up against the captain and iirc crash-landed on Earth a long time ago? and Aquamarine was looking for Pearl, who'd lost her memories in the crash. something like that? anyhow I remember feeling like GOD when I decided on that hairstyle! i also like her cape, it's like a translucent bubble around her (was the translucency thing associated with all pearls? I don't remember anymore 😅)

next are some of my bnha 🫣 ocs! They were second year students, if memory serves correctly. truthfully I forgot who they were until I saw the little nametag in the second picture 😶😅

The one on the left is named Ikina Youta, and basically his quirk is that he's like the sun? He can superheat his body, emit light, and funnily enough charge stuff through solar power 😆 A big part of his story was that he was Terrified of his quirk, to the point Aizawa was going to expel him for wasting its potential. His family (he's actually a tie-in to my sister's own characters haha) develop adaptive gear that supports him and keeps him from burning himself alive when he uses his quirk, so now! in his second year! he is breaking ground and testing out the extent of his powers :]

The one on the left is named Uzumeru Tsuyume, and he's actually Recovery Girl's grandson! He has a mix of her and his father's Sandman quirk (i slappa you and you knock out 😈.. which doesn't sound like a superpower at all... LOL!!!), so basically if he touches you you get knocked into a deep restorative sleep. his mother, chiyo's daughter, wasn't a huge fan of him going to UA after helping her mother patch heroes up her whole life, but Tsuyume thought his powers would be most helpful at ground zero and so he went to UA against her wishes. He really looks up to his grannie and has lunch with her twice a week :-] his costume is somewhat of a homage to her, although his friends tease him because it also looks like a racecar driver's outfit, which was not intentional he swears!!!!! but the little racecars on his nightstand tell a different story 👁👁❗ I think, similar to Chiyo, his power is a little draining on him so he's always a little tired and grumpy. he and youta balance each other out :D

they're actually 2/3 of my 2nd year trio! the third member of their group is a birdgirl (i was still debating how Bird i wanted to make her before i abandoned bnha..) named Koetaka Hanami, whose power is basically being an Offensive Opera Singer... her hero name is even Coloratura 😆😎🤠 she's a huge fan of Present Mic and resembles him in some ways... She brings the heat and muscle in their trio! Tsuyume does most of the support work (although sometimes it's nice to have him smack someone just to knock them out lol) and Youta does a lot of person-to-person stuff.. i have forgotten the word for this just now </3 he can also be a human flare so that's pretty useful! but Hanami is the one running in and taking care of the baddies, with her glass-breaking voice haha

I moved on from bnha after the first movie (iirc? whichever one i-island was..) so I have no idea how they'd fit into the overall plot anymore teehee! they are just fun little dolls for my brain now :]

finally are some doodles of the one... the only.... mister sergio joestar dun dun dun! He's actually why I went digging through my sketchbooks to begin with haha!

i remember really wanting to capture his fuckt up Dad Hair + sideburns.. i think the left one does it the most justice- my sketchy style makes his hair lose the plot in the right drawing hehe. anyhow the context of the left sketch is that josuke was an evil baby and would constantly pull on his scarf, but. sergio refused to ever take it off because it was a present and reward for his swagrannie lisa lisa :') so he would just let josuke choke him out.. imagine he's doing the goku laugh, u know the one!

the right drawing is just the lament o' sergio to me. I forget the context but I think that look of mild concern/apprehension suits his journey pretty well.... POV you can sense Dio within a 100 mile radius (plot twist he is having his hot girl summer in japan and is unaware of ur existence 🤪🤪)

my first and i think Only drawing of giorno is here too! i wanted to try an animal crossing style out on him.. when I drew this I wanted to get more into an AC style for my cutesy drawing, to complement the looser and :3-ier style I would use that you can see to his left. i think it turned out nicely! I think the sketch on his left is of my main YOI character, but. your guess is as good as mine lol!

seeing these made me want to pick drawing back up again and maybe commit to doing some studies/use references! I've never done a study of anything and my use of references is. light at best <3 so these really are Pure Sketchies and Doodlies ur honor. i wonder what more serious art from me would look like!

[mi4011mariaperera]

Scene 10 - color wip

Hey everyone! Hope everyone's having a great morning.

I'm not...

The weather here is so miserable I just want to sleep in and forget about the animation. But no way!!!! I won't give in!!!! I still have a long way to go!!! Have to stay locked in on the rise and grind fix!!!

Although I woke up an hour later than my alarm, I still have this sense of motivation and urgency to complete my work.

So LET'S GET STARTED!!!!!!!!

Let's talk about the reference I used to create this scene. I found an anime gif and took some screen shots to study how the hands sink downwards and meet each other. I'm in love with the quick bubble animation as well <3

After taking 12 screen shots of this gif, I headed over to Krita to start on the line testing.

These are the final sketches

My plan is to add in the bubbles during the coloring process! Also, I know the hand touching doesn't seem that accurate, but I did my best. Besides, I had to consider the time I was taking up to draw each scene.

My next step is to head over back to Krita and get started on coloring both the hands.

(I swear Krita is such a menace! Randomly changing settings AHHHHHHHHHHH)

LOOK AT THIS???? WHY HAVE THE TABS SHRUNK???? I DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING FOR IT TO GET THERE!!!!!!

Okay...calm down. Everything's alright. These are the completed artwork on Krita

After I've completed that, I'm exporting all the frames onto Photoshop, and I'll be during the final coloring. (This includes background color and bubble animation.

Work in progress on photoshop.

Coloring on photoshop for final touches took quite some time because there should be a lot of attention to shadows and lighting.

But thank God, I've completed it!

I'll be uploading the completed frames on my next post! stay tuned for the results!

[sharksa-shivers]

Sharksty self care shiz, oooooooo, my favorite thing to write 💙💙💙~

Sharksty peeps, come get y'alls fix --------- (Sometimes The Trio derps will camp outside somewhere to save cash cuz hotels be goddamn expensive. Either way, had this thought, they're like taking turns keeping an eye out for shit that could attack em for context lol.)

Kristy:(waking up, she leaves her tent and sees Sharky's up near the fire. He's busy sketching some stuff, his sword at his side in case of demon shenanigans…Kristy goes over and sits down)Heyyyy, watch going good so far i take it?

Sharky:(drawing, tired, doesn't really look up)Ehhh, pretty quite so yeah. Nature sounds are pretty and peaceful. Haven't heard anything off…

Kristy:(caring)Well, speaking of peaceful, maybe i could take over shifts…I can't really sleep well and uhhhhh, you honestly look like you could use some shuteye heh…

Sharky:(shrugs, finally looking up, chill)I mean, i can stay up still. It's cool, i don't need that much sleep.

Kristy:(trying to nudge him into self care)Cmon dude, i can see that tired look…Your eyes are carrying so many bags i'm surprised it's not hurting your back.

Sharky:(self conscious for a moment)…Is it really that many? (Stares at Kristy who just stares back, sighs)Ok, ok, ok, i got the memo, fine. I guess i can try and snooze a bit…(starting to pack up his art stuff)I'll do it because i care about you and i wanna make you happy…

Kristy:(trying to navigate Sharky in a better direction)You should do it for yourself dude…

Sharky:(shrugging his bag on his shoulder, grabbing his scabbard and sword)See, the problem is i…Don't really……….Care much about myself…But i do care about you so…

Kristy:(stops him, getting up as he makes his way towards his tent, grabs his hands, looking him in the eyes)You should care about yourself. You deserve to care about yourself.

Sharky:(a bit confused, tired, a bit of of self hate in his voice)……Why? Like…Genuinely why? What even is there to like about me?

Kristy:(hugs him tightly, Sharky just looking down at her)You have no idea how long that list is but…….Alot…So so much…But you deserve to care about yourself because you're a person too…I love you and i just…I want you to love yourself too…

Sharky:(we see his eyes glimmer a bit with tears but he wipes them quickly with his hand, moving a hand down and patting Kristy's head, Moving down some and hugging her, tired after a moment, smiles softly)……Ok, i…i'll try to do better…I…I'll try and remember that…

Kristy:(moves out of the hug and kisses his forehead, caring)Please do…You deserve it…And yknow what else you deserve? A nice cozy rest.

Sharky:(standing up fully again, tired, smiles some)…Yeah, that does kinda sound good heh…Guess i'll go do that…You sure you got this shift?

Kristy:(amused)If i don't and something happens, i'm sure you 2 derps will hear it…And i'm not gonna stay up all night, i'm gonna get Max up in a bit for his shift since he's been sleeping like all day, it's only fair… Sharky:(moving into his tent, caring)Alright…Just…Get me then if you need me…Night Kris, love you.

Kristy:(sitting back down, caring)Love you too tuskuda… ----------------------

These 2 own my fucking heart, i swear to fuck...Literally, i adore them so much, so soft and adorbs and ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH This is something that happens alot and just...I adore it, Sharky being like that with himself and then Kristy coming in and being like "Oh hellllll no, we're self caring today, you ain't gonna keep going without food and sleep while i'm here!!!" And Sharky just like...yeah...

[forgivenpunishment]

"Nicholas, do you have any idea how important you are?" Wolfwood glares daggers at the old doctor beside him as he sets his bones back in place. The escape plan was a failure. Legato made sure of that. Conrad's cybernetic implant flashes a green light, indicating that the man is analyzing his patient. "You are an essential part of our grandiose goal. Furthering the human race. Imagine humanity, without reliance on Plants, or energy, or flora, or fauna. Humanity without a need to sleep, eat, or drink. Unnecessary blights upon the race removed straight at the source—no more warring, because no one needs to fight over resources. A truly ethical existence, just as we had always wanted. Just as Master Knives has always wanted." "What does that have to do with me? What does that have to do with Livio? With Hopeland?" The doctor picks up one of his scalpels, intending to check the bone damage for himself. At least one important test would come out of this... outburst. "You have no one who loves you; no one to defend you. You have no purpose in this world, and you would have most likely died in the wild or in the slums of some backwater town. We saved you, Nicholas. Be thankful." "Besides that, you are incredibly special. For some reason, you are especially compatible with genetic splicing. You're most likely to survive, and survive you have."

The flashback hits Wolfwood like a sack of bricks.

He's just being traced on with a marker of some sort, but it feels like the knife itself burying into his skin. There is another set of gloved hands—the same woman from earlier who really couldn't be bothered to care.

"Doctor. Your hands are shaking. Need I remind you how important it is that we do not contaminate or damage our tissue samples? We already have to filter the drugs out of our blood samples. We do not need any more extra steps."

She takes the pen from the man's hand and begins to sketch surgical lines herself. She is not gentle in the slightest—her hurried determination to get this done leads her to press the marker into his flesh like a knife. Wolfwood swears he can feel himself bleeding.

"Take one of his kidneys, remove two ribs for bone density analysis and testing. Collect tissue samples."

The woman hums in thought.

"We'll need to check his virility for human sustainability. Perhaps someone else should handle that if your nerves are too overwhelming. We'll also need samples of the subject's cerebrospinal fluid and grey matter if we can. Those are today's tasks. Is that clear?"

Wolfwood settles with attempting to squirm once the marker is set down. His wide silver eyes tremble in panic, irises nothing but pinpricks underneath the bright surgical light. All he manages to do is slam into the table and the restraints. Even the relaxant fails to work completely with the level of anxiety he's experiencing.

"You—ugh, what is your name? Nicholas? The more you squirm the more painful this will be. I advise you to just lay still. Truly, this is for the greater good. With your assistance we'll develop new 'upgrades' for humans from your stem cells alone. Or something. You—doctor—get it together."

He hears the clicking of heels and the writing of a pen after she turns away. Taking things from his body? They haven't done that to him since he was still a lab rat. Even towards the end, they would only collect small things—not an entire organ. Can he even regenerate something like that? Can he regrow bone?

His breathing turns shallow and rapid.

"Can't... do this to me... don't touch me... I'll—I'll fucking... kill you," Wolfwood tries to growl but it's really not anything more than an empty threat and a harsh whisper. No one can hear him. No one will come rescue him.

Please.

Let this be a nightmare.

The choking was such an inconvenience... like babysitting an infant that could barely function. At least one doctor was always sort of close by, hovering-- a doctor who could've been doing something much more important, but of course not, someone had to make sure the subject didn't choke itself to death before they could begin. But the hustle and bustle of hard-working scientists, busy with what they believed to be furthering the human race, went just a bit too eerily still when their subject uttered another name.

. . .

Silence eventually turned to harsh, pointed whispers. Bickering amongst the brilliant minds about the whereabouts of the Plant and whether they had the time to at least get started or if that utterance had been a death knell until someone, much louder and sharper than the rest, cut through the chatter just to scold the rest of them.

"The other project is already underway; the Independent will NOT be a problem. Don't let desperate mewling squander this opportunity!"

Despite the encouragement, however, unease would still take root. Movements were quicker, and more deliberate-- the clatter of surgical tools and sterile smell of alcohol much sharper and more distinct in the hush that had fallen over the operating room.

At least, until a different doctor rotated into spit-clearing duty-- a slightly younger man with a thick bushy mustache and shaking hands that had no business holding the thin black pen to Wolfwood's abdomen at that moment. Drawing dotted lines along certain sections he'd been told to highlight. He... was close enough to hear him. To know there was a question that was being asked. And he attempted to look him in the face as his mouth opened to reply, but he lost the nerve quickly. No. No, no, no, too much, too much--

"... f-furthering the human race." he said, voice trembling worse than his hands. "Y-you're invaluable, a-and we... w-we desperately need your help, t-to..."

... to do that. Which just sounded like the song of someone trying to assuage his own guilt as he tried and failed to speak to the man they were aiming to slice pieces off of in the name of science--