#i suspect they will never be completed or shared oof

[clockwork-ashes]

Ballet and tattoo AU pls pls pls

hello 💕 thank you for the ask ☺️

both of these are still in the rough stages, and while i think maybe ballet au has been abandoned, I can’t bring myself to delete whatever notes i have on it 😂

ballet au had nesta and eris as dancers, and cassian worked at a bar near where they went for practice. it was set in the 80s and i had decided that the weaver from acomaf was their dance instructor!!! it was supposed to be a nesta/eris/cassian triangle where they were all in love with each other but i never figured out a plot!

tattoo au is in a modern setting where lucien works at a tattoo parlour and elain is a walk in who wants anything inked to her skin. she’s just broken up with graysen (who called her boring before admitting he was cheating on her). they become friends, there’s an eris x cresseida side plot, and lots of sister bonding!

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

So, earlier I got into a fight with my sister. The details aren't important, but it was pretty bad.

Later, after we had both stormed off, she sends me a very, very long text. Talking about how much I hurt her. But also, she was making really, really cruel remarks comparing me to our abusive parents. I did fuck up and was an asshole during the argument, but I felt really really hurt that she thought I was as bad as them.

After I made my most genuine apology, because I did actually cause a genuine c-ptsd induced panic attack. I felt like absolute shit and still do. But I did hold onto some of the anger from her making those cruel remarks.

She rejected my apology, and sent another text talking about how she thought I was the only person she could trust, and that I had just completely shattered her perception of me and now she knows "[I'm] just like everyone else".

This is when I started to think: Hm. This doesn't feel like typical c-ptsd, I would know since we both had the same shit childhood.

I remember reading about BPD, so I look into it. I was already aware that "personality disorder = inherently abusive" is incredibly ableist and untrue, so I clicked away from anything that presented that narrative.

As for the rest? Oof, that sounds exactly like my sister. And then I remember my aunt has BPD.

I'm not one to armchair diagnose someone, even if it is the person I've practically been stuck to the hip with since her birth, and the only person she shares everything with, including confiding in me her intense fear of abandonment and other things that don't necessarily confirm BPD in a vacuum but are potentially indicative of it.

My point is: Although I think it's extremely likely I won't decide to prematurely label her as that until I have a long heart to heart with her about my concern and gently suggest she bring it up with her therapist (who has been good for her so far, thankfully!).

The other point I want to make is that... regardless of if she has it or not, I'm going to stick by her no matter what. She's been so deeply depressed and miserable for the last 6+ years and I felt like I had exhausted all ways I had previously learned about mental illnesses to support her. Medication, therapy, lots of loving support from friends and family... nothing changed. And I began to suspect there's a root issue that we simply haven't uncovered.

If it is what I suspect it is, then I can learn how to properly support her. If it's not, I'll help her in her search for the root issue. I refuse to leave her side in this no matter what involuntarily cruel things she says, because I know it's not something she can control.

I don't want to become like my mom and aunt, who like my sister and I, once upon a time were best friends but now don't talk to each other because my aunt has... well, many of the exact same problems as my sister, and never managed to manage it, plus my mom not understanding her sister, now they're middle aged and are no contact.

I don't want to even think about a world where that happens to me and my sister. Things have been tense with us recently, more than usual. It scares me. She's my best friend. The person I trust most. I love her and want to see her happy.

Sorry this is so long. It's been an emotional night and I'm kinda stoned and I'm very tired which makes me rambly. What's the point of this all? IDK, I just had a lot of thoughts and needed an outlet in what I feel is a safe space to let out my thoughts. But, advice is also completely welcome

This is of course a nuanced and complicated situation where both of you are deeply traumatized regardless of exact diagnosis, which always makes relationships harder than they should be. And while it is great that you are mature enough to step back and apologize when you mess up in some capacity, this does not make it okay for her to throw endless accusations and blame in your direction. Because healing from trauma together is a two-way street, and if only one part is able to apologize and recognize mistakes, it won't work out. And it shouldn't honestly, because one thing is conflict, fuck ups and incidents, but a recurrent pattern of zero accountability is a whole other beast. Wanting to stick by her and figure this out with her even though it's a struggle is a valuable and very compassionate choice, and I really hope it works out - it just shouldn't come with zero conditions indefinitely. You get to expect growth and accountability too.

[sassysnowperson]

Why am I not writing anymore?

I've been kicking this one around inside my head and have decided to share here. See if it helps me get it out of the incoherent jumble in my head and into some orderly thoughts.

Burnout?

This was why I stopped writing. I should have stopped writing at the pace I was probably about a year earlier, but I really wanted to hit a million words on AO3. I did! I'm glad I hit the goal, but oof, I felt it. But I don't think that's what's happening right now. I've had time to recover, work got a lot less stressful when I changed jobs, I'm happier. I'm not exhausted when I think about writing anymore. But I'm not doing it.

Well, wait, AM I not doing it?

I do have a couple people I chat with about fandom things. It's not writing for an audience, but it is creative. That's where I figured the energy was going. But interestingly, I started doing word count on my therapy notes, out of curiosity. Yeah, I'm writing at least 2k a week at work. It's not creative writing (but it is narrative writing) and its THE EXACT OPPOSITE of for a public audience, but it is burning similar energy in terms of sit down at computer and type time.

But is that really a bad thing?

Maybe not! I think the time at the desk is bad, but I don't have to write at my desk. Laptops enable gremlin writing everywhere. And maybe it's easier to write when I'm already in the habit of writing.

Really?

Maybe? I'm not pivoting from notes to fun writing, so the momentum isn't quite there. But I gotta admit, word counting the therapy notes did wake something up inside me.

Word counting? Seriously? What about The Story That Needs To Be Told? Creativity?? Having something to say?

Wow, inner voice, you got judgy real fast there. I think...I think you're part of the problem. Aside from like, three fics out of that million words I wrote, I never started knowing the complete story. I have a rough idea of what I want to say, or a dynamic I want to explore, and then I find the rest as I go. So if I'm waiting for The Story That Needs to be Told, I'm probably not gonna write again. I think I need to fall back in love with the process.

You wrote a million words in four years. What was the process that worked then, and why isn't it working now?

Well, part of it was the wordcount. Not making words for words sake, but having a solid metric to point to in terms of progress. I have ADHD, and the fact is if I want to do something, I need to make it fun and measurable. Tracking wordcount is both. But it wasn't just wordcount. It was also talking with people about things, gift giving, writing hangout time, and other people's excitement motivating me. I don't have that consistently right now. I have people that have made it clear they'll cheer me on (♥️), but I don't have it as a habit, as a part of my regular day to day life.

Why not?

Well, I stopped writing. That's kinda a big one. But also...writing took up a lot of time. I stopped watching new media, basically. I wrote the most while I was in a reading slump. I'm not comfortable with this idea, but I think I need to wrestle with the idea that I focus on one thing at a time. I don't know if I can watch all the Dimension 20 seasons and write like I did. I don't know if I can have a good reading life and a good writing life. That makes me sad. I don't want it to be true.

But is it? Sometimes sad things are true.

Too right, inner voice. And I don't know! I think I can safely say that without intentionality, I will tend to do 1-2 leisure activities at a time. But I now that I'm thinking about it, I suspect the trouble is in task switching, not the task itself. If I make a goal to task switch, maybe I'll be more able to.

And set more reasonable goals. You probably can't write 250k words a year and do other stuff.

Yeah, probably not. Maybe I should set a wordcount maximum, to make sure I do other stuff too.

But do you *want* to write? Do you miss it?

...yes?

Oh man I hoped I'd be more confident in answering that. Do I want to write, or do I miss being A Person That Writes?

Well, we already established you are actually writing a lot right now. So maybe let's phrase it as: Do you want to tell stories to a wider audience?

...Yeah. Yeah I do! I miss that! I miss being a storyteller.

So either you find some other way to tell stories...

Like framing my self-analysis as a conversation?

Maybe this whole method should have tipped you off sooner, yeah.

Good point. On both counts. Either I start a podcast or a twitch stream or something, or I go back to the way I'm most comfortable telling stories.

Writing.

Yep.

So what are you going to write about?

I don't know, inner voice! But waiting on that to be clear hasn't worked. Think I just need to start somewhere. But it's good to know I want to start.

[fizzigigsimmer]

I wish I had more time to write. I have so many fic ideas that live in folders that I am afraid will never see the light. After I finish my Big Bang fic I still have to finish To B With Love & All The Kings Men (oof poor baby has gone so neglected). So this brain bunny will sadly probably not see life until next years big bang honestly. But I love the idea so much and want to share it. All my love to @dream-about-dancing who helped me with my initial brainstorming and encouraged me that this wasn't too dark of an idea lol.

That said. Warnings ahead for some dark!romance as in, this is fucked up with purpose.

The idea came to me after the massive disappointment that was Don't Worry Darling. I just feel like the film missed a lot of the horror and emotional beats that make the original Stepford Wives so twisted and compelling.

So my idea for a Harringrove Stepford!Wives Au was born.

A secret government organization has given Martin Brenner funding for "The Eden project". The goal of Eden is to create an actionable community model that would end poverty, wealth inequality, crime, war etc in the western world. Their slogan is " take the first step to world peace. Choose Eden."

World peace is the surface goal, but we all know Brenner is a closeted sociopath - so naturally he's using Eden and the technology behind it to create a weapon that can control/erase/change the will of others on a mass scale. World peace through mind control in other words. Everyone in Eden is essentially a test subject.

Brenner finds volunteers by preying on fringe groups and people who are ostracized in society, because they can more easily disappear without being missed. Nobody cares if the guy dealing drugs out of his van stops showing up to the corner, or some "tranny" quits their job and moves without telling anyone.

Billy and Steve are college roommates, it's the 80s, and they're both deep in the closet. Billy struggles with his childhood trauma and Steve is there for him like no one else ever has been. Steve is exploring his own sexuality and trying to live independently of his overbearing parents for the first time and they form a very codependent relationship.

Steve's parents start to suspect somethings up with him and his roommate and start to put pressure on him to live up to his responsibilities (Aka join his father's firm and get married to a nice girl). It doesn't help that Billy is fearful and possessive of their relationship and generally just a giant redflag. Steve just wants to be with Billy, but he knows they don't have a future and he doesn't want to be the son who fucks up and ruins his family over something he shouldn't even want - so he breaks up with Billy.

Billy spirals. He completely ignores the part about Steve breaking up with him because he's an unstable mess lol and fixates on Steve's parents and the world telling them it's wrong to be together. He knows Steve was happy with him and that Steve loves him and is desperate to get him back.

He meets someone at a bar who introduces him to Project Eden and indoctrinates him into Brenner's circle. At first Billy thinks this sounds like some weird geek novel bullshit, but the idea of a safe world where he's not wrong for being the way that he is, and where Steve still loves him and he's powerful and successful and nothing can touch him? Appealing as fuck. Sign him up. He'll be a warrior for world peace.

Cue him literally abducting Steve on his wedding day and bringing him into Eden, where they become The Hargroves. They have the perfect life and the perfect marriage that the outside world tells them they can't have. Billy's the provider and each day he gets to come home to his blissfully happy and submissive husband.

He was afraid at first that Brenner's technology would take away what he loves most about Steve, but no he's still the same dork with the same fire. The only downside is Billy knows deep down that Steve didn't choose this and he lives in fear of Steve waking up one day and truly hating him.

The first crack comes when Steve starts to have upsetting dreams about the past, including the time his dad called him a slur and accused him of ruining the family and breaking his mother's heart. Billy tells him these are just nightmares but he knows they are really Steve's memories popping up where they shouldn't. He starts to panic and does everything he can to "fix" Steve, gaslighting him the entire way.

Meanwhile poor Steve is on a reluctant heroes journey slowly regaining his memories and his own mind. He starts unraveling the mysteries behind Eden with the help of Eleven and his friends, who are also fellow residents of Eden. Eleven is Brenner's "daughter" and unknowingly is a big part of how the technology works. Max and Lucas came to Eden together so they could be together without persecution. Heather and Robin were lesbians who didn't know each other and wanted a chance to experience being in love. Jason was a closeted man escaping religious trauma, but in Eden he's the perfect husband to Chrissy who isn't sick or being abused by her mother anymore, and Eddie was a poor social outcast who wanted the world to hear his music. In Eden he's a rock star and has a budding romance with Jason & Chrissy.

Steve agrees that they can't allow Brenner to use El and the Eden technology for what he's planning, but the more of the truth he discovers the more he wishes he'd never woken up. Because despite everything, he loves Billy and the life they have. Billy's very sorry of course. It was never his intention to hurt Steve. He just wanted to make things right for them. And it can all be right again if they all just take this little pill and go to sleep.

Decisions decisions.

[musicrunsthroughmysoul]

OOF, introspection and retrospect...WHAT A THING.

My internalized homophobia in high school was so bad that I not only jokingly proposed - WITH A RING, THAT I BOUGHT - to one of my best friends, but I also had our 9th grade Honors English teacher (who had us both in his classes, but we were in different classes; I don't recall why, but I suspect that we were in different classes because I was in choir and she was in band) call us, during roll-call, "Lily/******* 'our surnames hyphenated'" because it just so happened to be that our surnames hyphenated/put together made an actual English word/phrase, and I just thought that coincidence was too hilarious to not bring attention to. (AND YES, OUR TEACHER DID THAT IN CLASS, IN FRONT OF ALL OF OUR CLASSMATES, IN BOTH OF OUR CLASSES. I ASKED. I...jesus christ. No wonder I was known as "the weird girl" in high school. Oh my god. Why did that never occur to me that those things might be connected. GOOD LORD.) AND I call that internalized homophobia because I did pretty much all of that because - considering, yes, that we were all HP fans - when JKR announced that Dumbl*dor* was gay this best friend of mine (homophobically) refused to believe/agree with that, so ever since then, I made a point to embarrass her over it, and our friend group played along. (Y'all should see the card my lesbian best friend gave to me for my 14th birthday when I had my whole friend group over for a birthday party/sleepover. The card she gave me was literally a piece of paper with a meme printed out on it of a cat looking horrified/shocked going "DUMBL*DOR* IS GAY???????" and yes, my best friend who we were making fun of through it was there. There's even a [not candid, though] photo of all of our reactions to it. Oh, and I will NOT BE SHARING THAT PHOTO. I was 14. And my birthday party was '80s themed. I WILL NOT!)

Now in hindsight (although to be fair, I was in high school when all of that happened, so of course I was immature), I know 100% that embarrassing someone for their homophobia/racism/sexism/bigotry is not the way to make them less homophobic/racist/sexist/bigoted. That's probably one of the worst ways possible to go about changing people's hearts and minds.

BUT, for the first time, something new about that situation has occurred to me that didn't before, and that is: while I knew one of our mutual best friends' thoughts/feelings about it (our lesbian best friend who had come out to us before I started all of that in high school...YES, I AM ASHAMED OF THIS KNOWLEDGE), we had other mutual friends who were bi who knew what I was doing and maybe sort of thought it was funny, but at the same time, I also realize...they probably did not think it was funny. And, in hindsight, I wonder exactly how they felt about it. I wonder if I made them feel worse, like I was making a complete and utter mockery of being queer (which, to be fair - I was. Because of internalized homophobia), and thus I was acting as though their queerness was something worthy enough to be mocked, too. Or...something. The point is that I don't know how they actually felt about it, and I wonder. I think I might ask one of them how she felt about it.

I also just realized that, considering the fact that my friend group (including my homophobic best friend...who I also literally referred to as "wifey" after I proposed to her. PLEASE let that be the reason I never marry. And I say that in self-recognized horror.) ostracized me at the end of sophomore year after I gave a very harshly/poorly worded critique of religion but particularly Christianity, perhaps the whole homophobia situation thing was related/contributed to that, although, as I said, at the time, my friends all generally played along with [the laughing-at-homophobia bit] and thought it was funny. And my town, if you could not tell, was known for being overtly Christian (but not, I would suggest, exactly in the charitable sense; more in the moral way of "If everyone knows I'm a Christian then no one will actually think I'm a racist, sexist, xenophobic, homophobic asshole - also because most of the town is") and homophobic. Although not all of my friends in that group were Christian, and most of them who considered themselves religious seemingly did because their parents were, so...I don't know. It could be a possible contribution, but it also could not be. It might've also been that they all just wanted an excuse to finally push me out because I was annoying (and, especially, annoyingly depressed, which they told me to my face. Or at least my homophobic friend told me that to my face, albeit in middle school. I did not get less depressed in high school, though. Depression always was, and often still is, my baseline temperament, but I do wish I hadn't clung to that group so fiercely as a way to...combat my depression, I guess? Because, honestly, with more hindsight/introspection, I don't think being friends with them was ever going to make me feel better, in terms of how depressed I was. They were, simply, the wrong people for me to seek comfort and reassurance in, and maybe I was the wrong person for them to seek comfort and reassurance in, too, because of my depression and how honestly selfish and clingy it made me. And now the joke's on them AND me because when I'm depressed I don't reach out to a god damn soul. LOL Not that I'm blaming them for that. That is entirely, 100%, completely a me problem, especially because I'm not friends with any of those people anymore).

[rikachureadsbooks]

I'd love to share! So oddly enough, I had all my annotations on post it notes instead of written on my books and I ended up typing them all out. I'll share them below :)

They are in order of book and page number. They'll be pretty slapdash and many will be missing context but I suppose I thought the page number as reference would be good enough 😅

(I would make this read more but I'm currently on mobile >.<)

Book 1: Scythe

53 - Anarchy?

53 - Technological Singularity

54 - How was it [creation of the scythedom] decided? Sounds like it was by the people. Democratically perhaps? [In hindsight, nar. The decision to leave the power of death to the humans was by a small group. In dissent, no less.]

54 - Conscience + consciousness, mortality. -> Thunderhead = science, logic, systems.’

57 - “Is anything really necessary?” Citra responded. {LOL}

58 - ‘The more troublesome offenders were tweaked with shock nanties in their blood, just powerful enough to deter any scoffing of the law.’ Citra’s uncle married his peace officer. Bruh. Bruhh.

59 - Scythe Faraday telling that unsavory he’d see him in 366 days. Gold. Heh.

64 - What a guy.

68 - All great questions. As a scythe you witness and enact perhaps the hardest part of post mortality life. If you have empathy that is? Or compassion at least. It could open a greater appreciation of life, ie through art, but as a scythe you still operate mostly outside of it. Solitary. Pensive, no worldly, familial, friendly attachments. What a role, truly.

70 - ‘...had been eliminated along with other unpleasant things, like disease and government.’ Heh. Nice. Same difference am I right?

71 - entire flight selected for gleaning me: -_- O.O

74 - uh oh. consequences of commandment 10 rearing its ugly head

101 - scythes being the sole purveyors of fear....hrm. too much power for humans.

110 - mortality being essential to humanity

114 - the sanctity of the law... and the wisdom to know when it must be broken

119 - I often wonder if the bright benefit of belief outweighed the darkness its abuse 

could bring. I often wonder too...

137 - Oldest trick in the book to anon accuse yourself of misdeeds so anyone moving forward who attacks him will be painted the cowardly anon accuser. no one will try in that case

138 - ‘power politics might have been a thing of the past elsewhere, but it was alive and seething in the Scythedom’ how very human

141 - THE WEAPONSMASTER JUST GLEANED THAT SALESWOMAN ON THE SPOT. BRUH. SAVAGE. BRUTAL. 

144 - ‘Will we all be renaissance children, skilled at every art and science, because we’ve had the time to master them? Or will boredom and slavish routine plague us even more than it does today, giving us less of a reason to live limitless lives? I dream of the former, but suspect the latter.’ damn Curie. I think I agree. So many safety nets. I would like the bare minimum in our world, but the TH really does coddle em

155 - The TH is perhaps their god in some ways. ‘which is worse-to be despised, or to be ignored?’

158 - damn. I mean yeah, but OOF

159 - ‘perhaps everything will change again’ this guy....

169 - a lovely conscience. a heavy burden.

184 - Huh... I like the cut of her gib.

190 - ‘it may not being you redemption, it might not even bring you peace, but it will keep you from despising yourself.’

192 - ‘Immortality has turned us all into cartoons’ Iconic line tbh

202 - Goddard...Egomaniac

211 - Any? All?

229 - ‘in time you’ll come to appreciate the silence and self-reliance that comes from its [TH] absence’

244 - ‘without the threat of suffering, we can’t experience true joy. the best we get is pleasantness

255 - even if rowan could make himself heard, he would never be understood

262 - journal of H.S. Prometheus.... a way to escape the system embedded.

270 - ‘Goddard promised his disciples anything a human heart could desire, in exchange for the complete abdication of one’s conscience.’ remniscient of capitalist era trade offs. Bezos.

294 - her thoughts, ponderings, philosophy. beautiful and intriguing. would the TH grieve them? as a child losing a parent or a parent who could not save a petulant child from its own poor choices?

295 - WHO DAT.

303 - Tyger a ward of the TH. They can do that? :o

306 - OH SHIT. Goddard was Xenocrates’ apprentice

334 - TH says what it sees concerns it.

340 - ‘to this day i still can’t understand why’ by choosing not to glean a woman who wanted it...and eventually thanked her for not. perhaps it simply felt wrong to hold such power in your hands. power that what people once called gods had. or nature. unnatural to become nature in that way.

345 - HOLY SHIT. Faraday took Curie on as an apprentice.

347 - ‘I think all woman are cursed with a streak of unrelenting foolishness, and all young men are cursed with a streak of absolute stupidity.’

368 - YOU. FARADAY. HE ALIVE.

372 - T~T reunited and it feels so good

372 - ‘I love the way it rains here. It reminds me that some forces of nature can never be entirely subdued. They are eternal, which is a far better thing to be than immortal.’ beautiful, ugh, the distinction

373 - ‘The stagnation that I so fervently glean on a daily basis seems an epidemic that only grows. There are times I feel I am fighting a losing battle against an old-fashioned apocalypse of the living dead.’ what a raw line.

387 - RIP T~T

388 - ‘My greatest joy for humanity is not for peace of comfort or joy. It is that we all still die a little inside every time we witness the death of another. For only the pain of empathy will keep us human. There’s no version of God that can help us if we ever lose that. - H.S. Faraday’

Book 2 - Thunderhead

3 - Foreshadowing? in hindsight, yeh lol

14 - that’s so cute tbh

15 - TH can’t directly intervene. but can choose not to

23 - lol. loophole bitches. sassy lil TH. ‘that is not the TH’s problem.’

27 - enough time for bucket lists + goodbyes. closure. true closure on your own terms.... beautiful. if only they all could have gleaned this way.

29 - Gottem! Anastasia saying for some, death was NOT instantaneous

31 - I’m inclined to agree about the indignity of having your death chosen for you

35 - ‘This is what the scythedom was incapable of understanding. They were so focused on the act of killing, they couldn’t comprehend what went into the act of dying.’ beautifully put, truly.

37 - TH is such a cool character

51 - stagnant, in your own way.

56 - that makes a lot of sense. and is so sad holy shit. the isolation of new traumatizing experiences that old friends just can’t understand. like war, or scythedom.

56 - ‘Tyger might have thought of himself as a free spirit, but he wasn’t at all. He just defined the dimensions of his own cage.’ damn. what a line

62 - WHAT. how?

65 - ...for now...?

66 - serial parents, love the idea of having families, but loathed raising them. YEESH.

76 - damn dude... it is sad to live and die without knowing the truth of one’s existence...only sad to us however.

87 - what is normal will often be taken for granted.

100 - compassion even in this. unsavories.

115 - ‘the illusion of purpose is critical to a well-adjusted population.’

123 - omfg. smort.

158 - ‘therefore, although I do not require devotion, am I not deserving of it?’

163 - :o ... D: they gleaned the people she was going to glean later!! rude!! unfair!!!

169 - omfg. posers. ‘They conformed so closely to their culture of non-conformity that there was a uniformity to them, defeating the whole purpose.’

176 - ‘Permission is the bloated corpse of freedom’ damn dude. RAW line.

188 - scaring a near omnipotent A.I.....

191 - ‘The simple pleasure of being good at what you do is very different from finding joy in the taking of life. ... Guard your conscience, Anastasia, and never let it wilt. It is a scythe’s most valuable possession.’

203 - hehe Rowan said Xenocrates deserves a spanking. it true.

209 - sadge. but fascinating

212 - WHAT. PLOT TWIST. AGENT TRAXLER NOOOOO.

213 - you had a point but damn. ‘Were I to begin doling out death, I would be the very monster that mortal man feared A.I. would become. To choose those who live and those who die would leave me both feared and adored, like emperor-gods of old. No, I decided. Let humankind be the saviors and the silencers. Let them be the heroes. Let them be the monsters. And so, I have no one but myself to blame when the scythedom befouls the things I have worked for.’

222 - wow. sadge. the TH uses rain for tears.

227 - :(

231 - bro the TH is so cute tho. 

255 - ‘Man creates God, who then creates man. Is that not the perfect circle of life? But then, if that turns out to be the case, who is created in whose image?’

259 - scythes having no natural predators.... scary

288 - two perfect acts. creation of life and life’s taking.

300 - i have no mouth but I must scream

303 - obeying law is not always just. breaking law is not always wrong.

309 - ‘vast difference between things TH can do and things it chooses to do

346 - um. uh oh. ‘all I can do is watch unblinkingly as my beloved humankind slowly weaves the rope it will use to hang itself.’

352 - Curie’s high blade speech!!

355 - ‘The truth of that hit home for all of them just as thoroughly as a raven at the chamber door.’

364 - she finally sees herself as Scythe Anastasia! yayy

365 - ‘am I not superior to nature?’ dear me TH

382 - Goddard the bastard! Gleaning engineers that would behoove space travel!!

393 - ‘Yes, the mindless can be pleasant.’ lmfaoooo

395 - TH gave Greyson a sign!! but his eyes were closed!!!! widestpeepoestsaddest

418 - ‘We are forever impaled upon our own wisdom’ love that line

488 - o shit bye Xenocrates. You were not great but not the worst.

489 - o shit TH is done with humanity. oop

Book 3 - The Toll

28 - INTRO OF JERICO, MY BELOVED <3 A woman beneath the sun and the stars. A man under the cover of clouds.

102 - Big sadge! “where are you my dear Marie?’ T-T

147 - Greyson can’t take advantage of his position. Doesn’t want to be a hypocrite. what a little paragon of goodness. pats head

164 - A whole industry for designing near impenetrable sanctums! cool. wish I could do that...oddly enough

166 - A construct does not make new memories. Ayn and her tortured actions and regrets... o u miss him do ya? maybe u should have thought about that before u repurposed his body!!

169 - Ayn made a mistake and regrets it. poop head.

171 - iteration who? TH iteration for sure but hmm

182 - ‘One could say that he has cast himself as Atlas. Which means the slightest shrug can shake the world.’

183 - change of definition bias. uh oh.

184 - isn’t attractiveness a factor of genetics? u can probably get surgery but like still??? idk

186 - ‘Greatness is overrated.’ u tell em TH

201 - Scythe trading cards...sounds about right.

211 - people started staying away from theaters and clubs.... killing culture and social gatherings... and generating isolation. Well that's paralleled in the most horrifying way. ....USA.USA. T-T

218 - ‘No one’s memories are true.’

237 - Mary Pickford beat the fuck down. fallen in but tired and ...given up

245 - When?? not if?? when?? mobilize the tonists??

258 - TH silene speaking volumes!! can’t talk about scythe stuff! oho!!

269 - Greyson legit said work for me to the assassin sent after him. bad. ass.

306 - ROWAN SAYING THANKS I LOVE YOU TOO. PLZ. baby boy this aint the time

369 - most ppl not taking a position and disappearing into the pleasantries of their lives.... too reeeallllll

406 - scythe Da Vinci say what? ahem?

414 - primal, predatory lust for the crushing of life.... dear me

417 - he’d need to lead them into the darkness before he could lead them into the light..... hrm

425 - ‘Perhaps it was vanity on her part, but the last thing she wanted was to be immortalized by an artist who was ‘less mediocre than most.’ LMAOOO same girl

429 - TH ‘Correction must be about lifting one up from one’s poor choices and prior deeds. As long as remorse is sincere, and one is willing to make recompense, there is no purpose to suffering.’

439 - ‘People are vessels,’ Jeri, ‘They hold whatever’s poured into them.’

460 - GODDARD COMMANDED THE SPACE GLEANING AAAA

501 - TH believes in a sort of reincarnation. Energy/spirit wise. damn

502 - ‘I’m frightened.’ ‘That is not a bad thing. It is the nature of life to fear its own end. This is how we know that we are truly alive.’

506 - MENDOZA ARMED THE SIBILANTS IN SUBSAHARA. FUCKO.

508 - the iteration needs to connect to biologic experience!! 

524 - ‘If we gleaned every asshole, there’d be virtually no one left.’ rip Scythe Volta

539 - T~T Reunited againnnnn noooo my feeeeeels SCYTHE FARADAYYYYY AND ANASTASIAAAA at last!!! omfg he called her Citra. I am emOTIONAL

543 - Cirrus! the cloud that rises above the storm! sick

548 - we could have had it allllll

550 - Cirrus was the child of Greyson, Jeri, and the TH. woooow.

565 - ‘I am unwavering, with so many things in flux, there’s got to be someone who stands firm.’ damn ok Astrid.

568 - Rowan and Citra!!! REUNITED AND IT FEELS SO GOOOOD. ;~;

569 - Citra is back! Casting off Anastasia! WOO!

578 - :O Greyson has feelings for Jeriiiiii AAAAA MY SHIP. my captain!!

580 - ‘Old habits die hard.’ ....old man please. good pun though

585 - he found another wild heart, i’m sobbing don’t mind meeee

586 - damn. ol’ Sykora is finally useful

590 - CRIES. HE DIDN’T GET A FINAL GOODBYE. it hurts o it hurts.

615 - 77% chance to live to 100. 60% to 200. 46% to 300. p good i think. at that point you could get quite weary of life

617 - sobbing againnn Greyson saying TH is unsavory to him. warranted and oh so sadddd.

618 - TH and Greyson both made the right choice. sob sob sob

620 - she brought that bitch back ohymgod. Rand you ho. now he has Goddard’s face. ...but Tyger’s body and mind so I guess. Hm. At least that stupid bish is gone.

625 - A CENTURY TO DEAL WITH HIS CRIMES AND MISTAKES AND RECKON WITH THEM AND FIND PEACE IN HIMSELF AND THAT MEANS HE CAN BE HEALED WHEN THEY FINALLY GET TO BE TOGETHER OKAY OKAY I'M SOBBING FR NOW.

Thunderhead by Neal Shusterman ~ annotation tour

mostly ones near the start to avoid giving spoilers

i got it signed when i met him last year so obviously i have to show that off

[apompkwrites]

reader impact || first meetings: unreconciled stars

series masterlist characters: scaramouche, fischl, mona genre: fluff summary: a game has been released entitled genshin impact, consisting of otherworldly abilities relying on the basic elements of nature. the game follows the story of an interdimensional traveling twin in search of their other half. along this journey, they meet different characters that live in this world. including you. notes: i'm sorry fischl and mona's aren't that good :(( this is actually my first time writing for them but i hope you enjoy <33

scaramouche's playthrough -

oof scara

scara scara scara

this boy hates his chat and at this point they don't care.

it's not like he'll badmouth them, right?

think ludwig.

that's him.

he's a very angy boy please--

as for what he does?

much like childe he'd do a lot of pvp games.

he's not too keen on showing off his personal life.

he prefers that boundary between his viewers and himself, y'know?

he honestly doesn't even understand why his viewers like him.

he knows he's a mean person and yet here they are :/

he doesn't take requests from his viewers he just kinda plays whatever he wants.

imagine his viewers' surprise when they see him streaming genshin--

they asked why a lot.

"it seemed cool."

this man just wants to play some good ol' anime games.

his chat calls him soft and he just glares.

anyway now he's actually playing.

he's not really into mondstadt's characters they're all... okay to him.

he feels a bit better in liyue.

not because it's pretty oh no no no.

because look at all the enemies outside >:))

he'll clear the whole field don't test him.

anyway, now onto the unreconciled stars event :00

this man really doesn't like katheryne--

anyway at this point he's tasked with find fritz, which he doesn't really want to do.

he sees the dude on the ground but that's only after he sees someone standing next to him.

and then he sees someone standing next to him :0

"is the guy on the floor sleeping?"

"i believe so. i've tried everything, but he won't wake up."

he will pause to look at your outfit.

it's so complex but it's so cool!!!

his chat suspects something's up but... he'll just snap at them like he normally does.

but he'll silently admire you <3

also yOU'RE T I N Y ! !

and then paimon points out your clothes and the cameras pans up your body--

"heh... and by "this person over here," you mean me, right?"

he will choose the "those unique clothes are quite beautiful" option in a heartbeat.

he doesn't care that his chat is teasing him, he just wants you to know :))

he's kinda sad when you leave, though...

"please come back soon..."

his CHAT HAS NEVER SEEN HIM SO SOFT BEFORE

skip to a few events later when the constellation is revealed to be leonard's.

the sudden cutscene catches him off guard because he's prepared to fight someone.

"hi! sounds interesting... mind if i join you?"

he won't say anything but he will physically relax at the sight of you.

you make this man soft please--

he's lowkey angry when his character is teleported away from you :(

(name): the sixth of the eleven fatui harbingers

HYPEHYPEHYPE

YOU'RE SO COOL!

of course he doesn't say that but his chat can tell that's what he's thinking.

this man's eyes go wide when you order the fatui around.

please help he really likes you. you're so assertive and cute and cool and just AGH--

fischl's playthrough -

fischl can and will do cosplay streams.

her fans like to watch her because of the "character" she puts up for the camera.

honestly she just does this because she genuinely enjoys cosplaying and bringing characters to life.

oz is the nickname for her pet bird :))

she definitely gets a lot of trolls in her chat that make fun of her for her cosplays and "dumb" way of speaking.

in which case she'll just yell at them using her "dumb" way of speaking.

she really does care about how people see her but her chat comforts her a lot after, so she feels better after a few minutes :))

the games she plays are very fantasy based and take place in worlds that don't exist.

once she gets into a game, she'd pick her favorite character and cosplay as them everytime she streams that game.

sometimes she does sewing streams where she actually makes her own cosplay with her fans.

they like to make it with her if they have the materials :D

genshin impact was a game her fans recommended because they actually want to see fischl cosplay the characters.

they will beg her to do the cosplay creation on stream.

(they defintitely know who she'll choose to cosplay but it's fine)

when she reaches the unreconciled stars event, she's really excited to learn about the fated meteorite granting sleep upon touch.

she's ready to go around teyvat in search of an answer when...

"katheryne! vassal of the immernachtreich, do mine ears deceive me, or didst thou cry out mine holy name in earnest supplication not one moment ago?"

some of her chat is obviously confused by your speech but her long time viewers can understand some of it.

oz, who fischl had brought with her to play, seems excited to see your familiar flying to you :)

fischl is just as excited as he is!!

please you speak just like her and you're voice is so nice and it actually sounds like the developers put thought into what the speech would mean in "proper speech."

"a pleasure to meet you again, katheryne."

YOU'RE FAMILIAR IS JUST AS COOL AS YOU ARE!!

some of her viewers will beg for her to skip through your dialogue.

when she sees those comments, she will purposefully let your dialogue play out, proceed to read out that same dialogue, and respond to you as if she was actually talking to you.

not just to spite them but because it's also a lot of fun for her <3

"it would seem the gods have blessed us with meeting such a well-respected being!"

translation: she's really excited to have met you.

as soon as you spoke she decided she would cosplay as you.

she's already planning out all of the materials she'll need and how much time it would take.

if your familiar is a bird, you best bet oz will be in her photo shoots for your cosplay.

most of the time you're on screen, she'll talk to her viewers about you in her classic chuunibyou style <333

she's really sad when it's time for you to leave :(((

"... goodbye, fischl. you are a good listener. i enjoy chatting with you. to be honest, most of the other adventurers in the guild only ever talk to me when they wanna hear (familiar)'s reconnaissance reports... this little journey we had... it was a great adventure. i'm just sorry that is has to end so abruptly..."

she might cry wait--

she relates to you even more now :(

"ah! what am i doing? i totally broke form..."

you're too cute pleas--

mona's playthrough -

mona does a lot of nightly streams.

it's very rare for you to catch her streaming with daylight.

she likes to share things about astrology while sitting outside drinking something warm.

she'll do a lot of nightly gaming streams as well.

mainly calmer games that people can vibe to in the background.

she prefers to keep her streams lowkey and chill, much like the life she wants to lead.

if only she had the money to do so...

yes, mona is still struggling with money even as a streamer.

she greatly appreciates any donations her fans give to her because she practically relies on them to pay her rent and daily necessities.

of course, it's not like she's completely struggling, just enough to barely get her by.

anyway, her fans ask her about playing genshin impact, inticing her with their talk about the stars and night sky in the game.

she's the type of player to take her time in the environment and take a lot of pictures of her character at night.

she's actually really excited when she hears about this new event centering around the stars and sky :D

soon enough, she gets around to the part where she is need of an astrologist.

she's HYPED to hear there's an astrologist in the game.

"someone looking for me? who is it?"

she will squeal, please.

look at you!!!

your whole design has stars and is space-themed and you're so cute and you're voice is so soothing ! ! !

she really likes listening to you talk about astrology because your voice gets even softer than before.

that scene where you go to the cliff??

please she has that scene as her lockscreen <3

you just look so cool when you start to do your process.

you're so focused and the way they animate your process in the game is beautiful.

and then the fatui harbinger interrupts one of your meetings :00

you grab onto mona's character and teleport away in a cloud of stars and specks of your elemental vision.

she's kinda embarrassed when you scold her about getting involved with the harbinger--

but not only are you really cool and awesome, you're super strong, too!

please be sassy more she really likes how proud you sound :))

[pynkhues]

Ahhhh your Logan backstory analysis was so perfect, never even considered the Noah factor of love= staying and enduring abuse! Haha, yeah I had read and loved your Rose/Kendall take. It was a connection I thought of when watching safe room, great to see someone do a full thing on it. Thinking about Rose and Noah, I think its likely that Logans past relationships were defined by powerlessness. Aside from Noah's abuse, there would have been a great deal of powerlessness with Rose (1-3)

if she was mentally ill (Rose Williams and Rose-mary Kennedy seem likely inspo). Having a mentally ill family member can be painful, helplessly watching worsening symptoms and praying it doesn’t end in your worst nightmare, which for Logan it seemed like it did. At the same time, there is also the anger/ resentment that you cant express because they cant help it. Would it make sense for Logan to transfer his feelings of powerlessness and anger from his formative relationships onto his current?

Finally he isn’t the one begging to be let in, the one who can be left, the one who can be hurt with no consequence. If Kendall is reminiscent of Rose, could Logan’s need to ‘keep him close’ whilst tormenting him partially be a way for Logan to express his unresolved feelings regarding his relationship with his sister?

(x)

Gosh, anon, I'm so fascinated by you bringing up Rosemary Kennedy and Rose Williams, because you're right, they do feel like significant references, especially with the Kennedy's being mentioned directly in comparison to the family in both 3.06 with Connor's presidential campaign, and 3.08 with the podcast. Rosemary had crossed my mind before, but I hadn't even thought of Rose Williams, and I think you're right. The show is so thoughtful with how it utilises names, places and plots, and those two women both having the same name and being the sisters' in dynastic families feels like a really clear reference. Given both Rosemary Kennedy and Rose Williams were lobotomised for mental illness too - - just, oof. If we're supposed to understand that was the way Rose Roy's story ended too, it feels like an even greater layer of tragedy for her character than suicide. It's a type of killing impossible to comprehend.

In answering your question – yeah, I think Logan's the exact sort of person to project the powerlessness of his past onto the present. His entire career I think has arguably been about that – he's a survivor through and through (and it's actually one of the things I loved about him and Marcia originally, because I think the show made it pretty clear that that survivalism and endurance was what connected them), and everything about the way he's raised his children feels like a response to the way he was (and wasn't) raised. God, even him getting full custody from Caroline of the golden trio feels like a direct response to his mother sending him, Ewan and Rose away as children and never seeing them again.

If we are to understand that Rose was mentally ill in a similar way to Kendall, which I do think we are (and I suspect given Kendall's arc this season, the show seems to be finally putting big markers in that he's bipolar), I think it completely makes sense that Logan would project Rose onto Kendall. It contextualises a lot of Logan's specific dynamic with him too (and actually I think with Shiv as well, as his daughter), particularly in the sense that Logan's most conflicting, protective, tender and emotionally punishing moments are with Kendall.

Logan wants all his kids in the business, but it's Kendall he wants to share the glass wall with – kept right where he can see him, and it's him Logan worries about when a gunshot goes off in the building, and him who he sends Greg to keep an eye on and him who he doesn't let drive anymore, and yet it's also him who Logan frequently punishes the most. He can't handle any of the kids dissenting, but Kendall's the only one he's fired, the only one he's called nothing and nobody, the only one he's tried to disinherit.

Of course, Kendall's the only one of the four of them who's acted against Logan as significantly as he has, but I do think it's interesting that Logan actually hasn't punished Roman and Shiv in remotely similar ways. Particularly Roman, who was involved in the attempted coup, and hugely botched the Pierce deal by texting Naomi. Logan called him a moron but otherwise seemed to let it go, and there's probably something in there about his lack of consideration for Roman broadly and Logan knowing Roman'll come to heel, but I think as a point of comparison, there's something to be said about Logan being especially reactive when it comes to Kendall.

Like you said, having a family member with mental illness, especially unmanaged and undiagnosed mental illness, can be extremely painful, and even putting speculation about Rose aside, it's textual canon that Logan has managed it with both his first wife and with Kendall. If we do add Rose to that mix, which again, I do feel like we're supposed to, I think there's a lot to be said about this storm of unmanaged trauma and survivor's guilt that likely lives in Logan, and it plays out, I think, in a degree of powerlessness with Kendall. Logan knows already that there's nothing he can do about the drugs, he knew there wasn't anything he could do about the shoplifting, so in both instances, he cleaned it up, and his conversation with Kendall in 3.08 implies he's cleaned up a lot more than just that.

A part of that's just in Kendall being a rich kid with a dad who can, of course, but I don't know. I don't think anything in the world makes Logan feel like he's in free fall in the way Kendall does, and I think a big part of that is because Logan's seen how this story ends.

[swbumblebee]

"I'm baaack" Anakin Skywalker walked in to the most wonderful smell filling the flat he used to share with his Master. It was like walking into a sweetshop, sickly sweet sugar permitted everything. He frowned. This was not what a Terrok Cake should smell like.

Shucking off his boots he pondered for a moment. "Hey Master the cake smells weird did you add someth-" He froze, eyes widening at a sudden realisation. In one instant his finely honed Jedi instincts kicked in and he bolted through the flat to the gasser oven. "Hello there Anakin, how was your meeting?" He ignored Obi-Wan's greeting in favour of saving his Padawan's life day cake, the product of his afternoon he'd been laboring over until summoned away. "Master!" He cried, swearing as he opened the gasser door to plume of slickly sweet smoke now tinged with a slight burning smell, fumbling with the gasser gloves to reach in and extract what he now suspected was definitely not cake mix. "What?" Came the distracted reply. Anakin threw his hands up in despair, looking at the smoking, bubbling mess on the counter. He peaked into the cooling unit to confirm his suspicions and took a very long, calming breath. "Is everything alright?" Obi-Wan called again from the sofa. Squashing his near-blinding anger the young man stood in the doorway of the kitchen, glaring at his absent-minded friend.

Finest mind in the Order my ass! Said man had well and truly nested; the sofa and caff table piled with flimsi and pads, scribbled notes and empty mugs. Anakin doubted he had looked up from his work in the twenty five minutes he'd been out. Except to kark up his cake, of course. "ONE JOB. OBI-WAN YOU HAD ONE JOB!" he all but shouted. The man on the sofa jolted and peered at him in surprise. "What-" "'Put the cake mix in the gasser and the icing in the cooling unit'" he quotes. "IT WAS THAT SIMPLE!" He cried, his voice going from dangerously low to far too loud in his anger. His former teacher threw up his hands in defence. "I did!" He insisted "and technically that's two jobs" he pointed out. Anakin was Not Amused. "No" he said slowly, rubbing his eyes in what even he would agree was a very Kenobi gesture. "What you did was put the cake mix in the cooling unit, and for some sith forsaken reason put the icing in the gasser!" He hissed venomously. There was a split second whilst the cogs in the Jedi Masters mind visibly turned, before he paled. "Oh no" "Yes." "Ohh. Oh no". Understanding dawned. "Anakin I'm so sorry! Oh force, can we fix it?" He asked desperately. "It was a complete accident I'm so sorry" he implored Anakin folded his arms. "We can't fix it. You can fix it." He threw his com at the other man. "By calling someone. And getting the biggest, fanciest cake on Coruscant" he instructed icily, having no doubt that Obi-Wan would 'know a guy'. "Yes yes of course!" The older man fumbled with the com a little as he typed. Anakin made his way to the sofa and silently (and as passive aggressively as possible) plopped himself next to his Master. There was a moment of silence. "I really am sorry-" "How could you possibly think that's what a cake smells like?" The younger man gestured in disbelief. "It smells like a sweet shop exploded in here!" "In my defence I don't know about these things-" "You know the nesting habits of the Bumbler, but you don't know how to bake a cake?" The Knight asked, supremely unimpressed. Obi-wan fidgeted. "It never came up" he protested, his ears turning slightly red at his lack of knowledge. Anakin narrowed his eyes. "I'm telling Whisk" "Oh come on now that's not necessary" large pleading eyes turned on him at the threat of the cantankerous chef of the 212th Attack Battalion. "I think it is!" 'Don't you dare!" "I'm doing it right now- oof" The resulting wrestling match meant the disaster in the kitchen remained uncleaned until a week later when Obi-Wan threw away the "cake" - tin and all. And when the temple guard arrived with the cake, dutifully delivered to the front door of the temple within the hour, they were greeted by the orders best and brightest, covered in flimsi and disheveled, and smelling suspiciously of rum.

[plan-d-to-i]

I think they changed it to 'ready to fight JL' but I'm pretty sure anon's talking about this one: songofclarity (.) tumblr (.) com/post/665617926822510592/i-read-your-post-about-jiang-chengs-seclusion-and

Ah, thank you! (Re THIS post)

oof, I could've gone the rest of my days without reading that trip through the land of fantasy and delusion that jc stans live in.

"Key points that prove Wei Wuxian cared: he stayed" >:0

IT WAS A HOSTAGE SITUATION LMFAOOOOO.

What's the point of jc stans including quotes at this point when they're not going to interpret them correctly anyway? jc could be telling WWX “FUCK OFF AND DIE" and they'd be like "omg! he cares! I only tell people I love to fuck off and die 🥺"

"I have never interpreted this conversation and scene as Wei Wuxian just wanting to forget it all so he can live happily ever after with Lan Wangji. Wei Wuxian found a new way to live and he’s trying to share this with Jiang Cheng." -hahah haven't interpreted anything else correctly so far either why start now.

"He trusted Wei Wuxian. He never betrayed him. Even when Wei Wuxian returned, Jiang Cheng never betrayed his identity or tried to hurt him."

YES Successfully strategizing a siege based on his knowledge of WWX and his weaknesses and leading it with the express purpose of killing him and spending 13 years hunting and torturing anyone who might be WWX is actually just super supportive behavior. Let's get one thing clear. JC didn't tell anyone WWX returned because NO ONE would have believed him. JIN LING didn't believe him. HIS OWN NEPHEW THOUGHT HE WAS FUCKING NUTS. He already accused MXY/WWX of being WWX and whipped him with Zidian in front of a big ass crowd of people and ZERO things happened. Everyone already thought he was a "mad dog" chasing after anyone he suspected of demonic cultivation in case they were WWX. JGY himself calls jc a mad dog. Add to that, WWX was under the protection of LWJ who was the bother of LXC who was the sworn brother of JGY who was the CHIEF CULTIVATOR- jc would only look like the rabid moron that he was if he stared raging about how MXY is WWX. Only his stans would be inane enough to suggest this meant he cared.

The concern of jc stans with canon at this juncture is ironic considering the head canons they try to shove into canon. It's not that WWX hates jiang cheng, he's never hated him, he just doesn't want him in his life. They have completely different world views, they were always going to grow apart. That relationship was 99.9% work for WWX. More importantly WWX has found someone whose world views match his and who is the only person he wants to be with and that's Lan Wangji. WWX’s relationship to jc is NOT the central one in the story, the meeting of hearts and minds between Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji is. The donghua distilled WWX's 2 encounters with jc to move on to the main event: WangXian. Just like WangXian moved on at the end of the novel without looking back.

“After a moment of hesitation, his lips moved slightly, as though he wanted to say something else. However, Wei WuXian had already turned to Lan WangJi.”

[seyaryminamoto]

I'm so hype about the overwatch deathlock rebels, finally my gurl Ashe gets a more clear background story but I sad at the same time because it seems like many hate ashe for unreasonable causes. They hate Ashe just because she gets in the way of a their ship. These are the same people who said they're not in the overwatch fandom because of ships, but throws rock just because McAshe is hinted to crush/smth. Btw I'm a McGenji shipper but I do like McAshe stuffs too and I see its potential as canon

Oh, mad respect to you, McGenji anon, mad respect. I've been so out of things lately because I'm still REELING from that book, I swear I have never known a feeling quite like this one? xD I was afraid the book might end up validating a lot of toxic ideas people had about Ashe, but instead I feel it completely outruled them and showed that, whether people like it or not, she and McCree had a pretty good relationship (whether you wanna see it as romantic or not) back in the day. The minute these two were face to face in Reunion my shipper senses just went BONKERS, and I already thought that Reunion was all they'd ever give us, canon-wise... but nope, they just went all out with this book and now there's so much more context to so many little things in Reunion too *sobs* I am completely overtaken by these cowboy renegades, my head's cowboy brainrot 24/7 since June 1st xD

But yep, people are really unbearable with their mindless Ashe hate. I keep thinking that, if she were a guy, everyone trashing her would jump at the opportunity to ship her with just every possible male character they could find, not only McCree. I don't even know, honestly, just how difficult can it be to ship what you ship without turning any characters into boogeymen because "they get in the way of the ship"? It's a childish, dumbass thing I've seen in fandoms since I was a kid and I can't believe I'm still seeing it happen in this godforsaken year of 2021. Ashe and McCree are absolutely at odds in the latest events in Overwatch's timeline: I love the idea of them slowly regaining their trust in each other while working together to stop Null Sector, Talon or whatever they'll be fighting in OW2. But anyone who DOESN'T ship them? They can easily imagine whatever else they want to imagine for their future and move on just fine. McAshe absolutely can be seen as a past relationship, or even as a past friendship with unresolved feelings, when making content for any other ship with McCree or Ashe, if they even feel the need to acknowledge it altogether. It's not even challenging to do this.

Heck, as someone who has spent ages creating content for a ship that, however much traction it has gained lately, isn't likely to become canon, where one half of the ship has been in a canon, confirmed, actual relationship since the show ended (even if it's still not confirmed as his endgame relationship), this hissy fit by the Ashe haters, mainly from the-ship-that's-better-off-not-named, is beyond ridiculous. I've written stories where a canon relationship ends, giving way to my OTP, WITHOUT trashing the other character in the canon relationship, and without turning her into a monster just to justify my ship's existence. If I can do that without a hitch, I don't see how they can't? It makes no sense to me, honestly.

There's also an apparent uproar because McCree and Ashe are "het" now? There's no canon confirmed sexuality for either of them to this moment, no matter if there were definite sparks flying in Deadlock Rebels, just as there was no confirmed sexuality before the book. A lot of people think of McCree as bi, and that headcanon wasn't killed somehow by the contents of this book, was it? Heck, I'm even thinking of games like Dragon Age, where straight characters have deliberately been written to reject advances from any same-sex MCs, and players have made mods to romance them with same-sex MCs anyway because they don't give a flying fuck about canon sexuality if it's straight. In my experience? That's how fandom always works. Typically, it's when characters are confirmed gay that anyone who shipped them in straight relationships have to back off, since it's highly frowned upon to alter the sexuality of any gay characters. But even if a character has nothing but opposite-sex love interests in canon, the fandom always does whatever it wants. Why the heck is it different here, to the point of spewing that much vitriol at Ashe just because she exists and McCree is/was into her?

Oof, I just say live and let die, man. Frankly, I am living the dream with this book, I've loved every new tidbit of lore it offered, especially those recontextualized hints of Reunion content (hell, even the "plothole" with the Est. 1976 in the Deadlock logo was addressed, it's amazing xD). Apparently, McAshe shippers aren't entitled to "canon status" thanks to the cinematic, or through all the history these two characters share, history that's been expanded through this book... I find that fair and valid, but just so, no other ship is entitled to demand for canon status, not in this franchise, not in anything else, as far as I'm concerned. Blizzard has made a bunch of bad choices in the last years, there's no denying that, but as far as I can tell, caving in to what a certain cluster of fans demand just because their ship is "popular" has NEVER resulted in anything good. If anything, every time I've seen big media give in to whatever their loudest fans want, the quality of their content tends to spiral downwards at ridiculously rapid speed, because that isn't what their creative vision used to be, and it's not an organic choice but a forced one, done just to sell more (and typically, they don't achieve that goal at all). Could list a few examples of that, but I'd be here all day, I suspect x'D

At any rate, thank you for being such a good sport, McGenji Anon :D shippers who respect other ships are the absolute best and I'm really happy to know there's people like you out there in the OW fandom. I'm not crazy active in the OW fandom myself, partly because I can't even play the game, only watch friends play it, and because I have signed my life off to Sokkla, as everyone knows... but I gotta say, the ideas, the THOUGHTS that have come to mind over this unbelievable book... I've already doodled a couple of them and if I had enough time to go all out, I absolutely would xD Now, I just need to see how to buy myself an Ashe keychain and then I'll be set to cry about these two for life. I've been doing plenty of progress on that front as it is... X'D

[lyranova]

A Fractured Diamond

Episode 4: One Tough Battle

Hi guys~! So here’s chapter 4 I hope it’s a little better than chapter 3 and again I’m trying not to completely rip off the manga or anime so a few things and quotes are different! But the next chapter should end this little arc (i was gonna try and add it to this chapter but i decided to just push it off) Also in this chapter you learn the difference between Neva’s magic and Mars’! But anyway I hope you guys enjoy~!

Word Count: 1,550

Warnings: Violence, Language.

“ Get out of my way.” The stranger commanded as he walked towards the small Golden Dawn squad, Neva looked over at Mimosa and saw she was using one of her recovery spells. ‘Good. At least she’s alright.’ Neva thought in relief as she removed her Diamond Shell and conjured up two twin daggers made out of diamond. She only ever used this spell when she knew she would have to engage in close quarter combat, she watched as Yuno and Klaus also got into their combat positions. The stranger didn’t look phased at all.

“ Yuno, Neva, look.” Klaus motioned towards the man and saw what Klaus was pointing out, the diamond on his grimoire.

“ He’s from the Diamond Kingdom.” Yuno said as his eyes narrowed, Neva nodded, it was just as she suspected. But what really confused her was the crystals on his forehead and the one on his chest.

“ Klaus, are those what I think they are?” She asked as she turned toward him. Klaus nodded before he pushed his glasses up.

“ Yes. I thought the rumors about the Diamond kingdom conducting experiments on people were just that; rumors. Apparently we were wrong.” Klaus said before the man attacked them again, luckily Klaus had good reflexes and was able to block the attack with a steel shield.

“ Quit talking and get out of my way!” The man commanded again before sending more attacks their way. One right after the other. The three Golden Dawn members did their best to dodge and send attacks right back at the man, Neva mostly tried to protect Mimosa the best she could as Yuno and Klaus went for the stranger.

‘Now I know why people assumed I was from the diamond kingdom.’ Neva thought as she used one of her blades to slice through an attack. ‘On the surface you can’t tell the difference, other than they’re different colors, but otherwise they’re nearly identical. Except mine's stronger.’ Neva though with a smirk as she used her ‘Diamond shower’ spell at the stranger, who blocked it with ease. She gritted her teeth, this was a real pain in the ass.

“ We’re being cornered.” Klaus said as he and Yuno moved back toward the girls, he and Neva shared a look between themselves. ‘They would have to send someone ahead without them.’ After Neva nodded in agreement Klaus looked at Yuno. “ You need to go ahead without us. We’ll take care of him.” Klaus commanded, Neva stood up straight.

“ But I-!” Yuno began to argue before she held up a hand to silence him, she knew he’d argue, that was the kind of person he was even if he appeared to not really care about anyone.

“ We’ll be fine. Go and get that treasure. We’ll meet you there once we deal with this guy.” Neva told him, she half turned toward him, a small smirk on her face. “ Trust me. This guy won’t be able to take us down that easy.” She added before she and Klaus shared another look.

They were screwed, and they both knew it. If Yuno was even having a tough time with this guy, then the two of them didn’t really have a chance. But if they were going down, then they’d go down swinging. She heard Yuno sigh, apparently deciding not to argue, she heard him quickly run down the hall. ‘Wait, when did that door open?!’ She thought as she turned to look; yep it was open, huh, interesting. Neva suddenly heard Klaus shout and she turned to look.

‘Dammit! I shouldn’t have gotten distracted!’ Neva thought as she saw a crystal bind Klaus’s foot. It was as if the world began to move in slow motion; she saw the man send another attack towards Klaus, her body began to move on its own, but she knew she wouldn’t make it to him in time. The spell was going to hit him, and there wasn’t anything she could do about it.

‘Why...why am I so weak?’

Suddenly, a rush of wind swept past her and blocked the attack. Neva quickly turned and saw Yuno standing there, she couldn’t stop the surprise from appearing on her face. He turned back for them?

“ Why did you turn back? We told you to go! The mission is our main priority!” Klaus shouted as Neva quickly broke the crystal that bound his foot, they watched Yuno stand a bit in front of them, as though to shield them from the stranger.

“ Because you’re my friends.” He answered simply, Neva had to admit that statement shocked her a bit and she didn’t really know why. If this weren’t such a serious situation they were in she would probably be laughing right now. He had only known them for a couple of months and was already admitting they were his friends, whereas she had known most of her squad for over a year and she refused to call any of them that. Hell, she didn’t even want to call the people she was currently with her friends! ‘But,’ Neva thought with a shake of her head. ‘If Yuno’s already willing to admit that he considers us his friends, then maybe, just maybe, I’ll be able to admit it too one day.’ That single thought warmed her heart a bit, before she suddenly felt a surge of mana.

“ Neva, look!” Klaus stated, pulling her out of her thoughts. He pointed toward where Yuno was standing, shock clearly on his face. As Neva turned to look she realized that was where all the mana was coming from, a smirk appeared on her face as she watched the wind circle around him.

“ Well aren’t you just full of surprises Mr. Prodigy.” She muttered as she watched him wield two spells at once and throw them at the soldier.

————

“ Yuno!” Neva shouted as she watched him begin to be overpowered by the Diamond Mage, she hadn’t noticed he never pulled out his grimoire, but now that the Diamond Soldier had, the fight was even more unmatched than it already was. Neva quickly conjured a diamond wall in between Yuno and the man, trying to do anything she could to try and help Yuno get the upper hand. But as thanks for her troubles, she was given a crystal doll created by the stranger and it just so happened to be strong enough to keep her busy.

“ Klaus! Snap out of it we need you!” She shouted as she sent another diamond shower at the doll. It was almost a life size version of the ones she had made when she was a child, except hers didn’t move, and they for sure didn’t try to kill anyone! She quickly blocked another attack before looking over at Klaus, who appeared to be stunned for a few moments, finally snapped out of it and began to try to attack the stranger once again. But it failed. The stranger created another doll just like the one she was fighting.

“ Why are you so hard to beat?!” She shouted at the doll as she slashed at it with her blade again, she was able to cut across what would be it’s chest, but it wasn’t enough to take the damn thing down. ‘I don’t understand! My magic is different from there’s! So why isn’t it able to cut through?!’ She thought indignantly as she dodged another one of its spells. Her magic was made out of carbon, theirs was made out of minerals, hers was made from one of the strongest materials on the planet, theirs was not, so why in the hell could she not cut it down?!

“ Just surrender.” Neva turned toward the voice’s and her eyes widened. Yuno was being overwhelmed, and appeared to be frozen just like Klaus was a moment ago. ‘Son of a-!’ Neva quickly conjured a diamond hammer and hit the crystal doll square in the chest, knocking it onto its back. She smirked in satisfaction before rushing to aid Yuno.

But she didn’t get very far.

The crystal doll suddenly appeared in front of her. ‘What the hell? I ended this didn’t I?!’ Neva thought before suddenly she watched as the doll pulled it’s fist back. Crap. There was nothing she could do, she couldn’t block it, she couldn’t move out of the way, she had to take a direct hit. So she did. With a soft ‘oof’ the doll punched her square in the stomach and sent her flying across the room. All the air was knocked out of her lungs as she slammed into the wall next to the dungeons entrance, she slid down onto the floor and watched as Klaus was starting to become overwhelmed by the doll he was facing, and Yuno was about to be dealt a finishing blow by the Diamond Soldier.

‘I’m sorry guys,’ Neva thought weakly as her vision was beginning to darken and she heard the crystal dolls footsteps inch closer and closer towards her. ‘I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough to protect all of you…’

The last thing Neva saw before she slipped into unconsciousness was a giant crystal ax about to crash onto Yuno.

———

I’m sorry if this isn’t very good but I hope you guys like it~! I should have episode 5 out in a couple of days than I’ll be able to move on to a couple of other stuff for this series and my fanfics 💕! But I hope you all enjoyed and I hope you all have a good day 🥰!

[trudy-shams]

What we become - Part 8

Time is a difficult concept to understand.

Sometimes a night or a day may feel too long and at the same time, years pass you by in a blink.

Making your way through the baggage claim, looking for Nat, it felt like it was just yesterday when you were picking her up, seconds away from that dreadful moment when everything shattered. Your heart bled out right at the airport. Like always, your mind wandered to the sweeter memory you had of the airport, the kiss - a pair of lips you could still feel on yours. Sometimes, when you couldn't sleep at night, you revisited that memory, strangely able to detach it from the harsh truth. It felt like yesterday when those soft lips pressed against yours and at the same time, you felt like you were that girl eons ago. Maybe if your past self walked next to you, you wouldn't even recognize her. You had changed so much, you had grown so much.

Time is indeed a difficult concept to understand.

But looking at the girl, who was barreling towards you at full speed, you knew it had been a really long time.

She smashed into you and crushed you in a bear hug and all you could manage was a muffled 'oof'.

"I missed you peanut" Nat's voice held so much emotion you had a hard time keeping your tears at bay.

"Not as much as I missed you" You leaned back after a deep breath and beamed at her.

Nat was wearing a muted grey sweatshirt and sweats with large sunglasses and a really stupid looking that covering most of her face. Nobody was paying any attention to her and you were really glad about that.

"It's my favourite disguise, works like a charm every time" She said as she hauled your bags up and handed it to a man who appeared out of nowhere and disappeared in the crowd again with your bags.

"This is so weird, you have people picking bags for you" you shook your head and spotted Nat's face in a huge billboard as you existed the airport "Seriously, this is why I have missed you more, your face was plastered everywhere!"

You both got into a waiting SUV and spent the entire ride falling back into the easy rhythm you two shared. Nat and you spoke very frequently on the phone but you both were busy. She was one of the most successful models in the country now and you had made great advancements in your career. She filled you in on the lastest news and gossip about your family and friends.

You were lounging by the pool in your suite, when Nat came back after speaking to her manager who had dropped by.

"You remember Sam Wilson?" Nat asked and you nodded, of course you remembered, he was Steve's friend "I have to attend a launch party for one of his product lines today since I am their brand ambassador and all, we need your dress size"

You quirked an eyebrow " Why do you need my size? I am not wasting my precious vacation hours making small talk with complete strangers"

"Well, you have to come because this has been planned for ages and well... I want you to meet someone"

That got your attention "Natasha..do you mean I finally get to meet your super secret boyfriend mr."pea" that I had to pretend doesn't exist?"

"Yes tha... what?" Nat was surprised. No one knew about it, no one even suspected anything. The paparazzi had nothing on her.

"You can't hide stuff from me babe, we are sisters and well...I still remember your personal email and social media password, you really need to change those '' You squealed as Nat ran after you.

"You little shit, come here"

You spent the rest of the afternoon laughing and drinking expensive liquor.

Both of you were dressed to the nines in glamorous dresses, perfect hair and makeup - thanks to Nat's team of professionals, you didn't even have to lift a finger.

When you looked into the mirror after they were done, you couldn't even recognize yourself. Was that really you? This momentarily distracted you from the bigger worry festering in your heart since Nat announced you were going to the launch party. You knew Sam was friends with James and Steve. There was a high probability you would run into them tonight.

You were sure you had it under control, it had been 5 years since that fateful day, You were not that person anymore. Nat was not that person anymore - she appeared to be unbothered but you knew something had her worried. You didn't bring it up but you felt like it was probably the prospect of seeing James again but being in the same city, you didn't know if Nat had run into him before today. You tried to tamp down your nerves and give yourself some internal pep talk.

You were not a young girl working at the bar anymore, you were so much more.

Steve probably didn't even remember you.

Both statements were proven wrong the moment your eyes met a pair of cerulean blues that you had never truly forgotten.

Steve definitely remembered you if his wide eyes and open mouth were anything to go by.

And you were still that girl, who couldn't look away from the prison of his eyes.

You broke out of your trance when a loud voice greeted Nat.

"There is my sweet pea" the masculine accented voice sounded vaguely familiar.

"Here I am Mr. pea"

PETRO!

MAXIMOFF!

What the hell? Peitro Maximoff is Mr. Pea - or Mr. P now that you think of it.

"Well he is" Peitro was sheepishly smiling at you now and you realized you said the last statement out loud. "Although,your sister has plenty of other names for me but those are usually reserved for a more private setting" he added with an exaggerated wink while Nat smacked him on the chest with a roll of her eyes.

You didn't know how to react to THIS? How could she not tell you? This guy was a douche. He always was. He was only with Nat for publicity. You wanted to drag Nat to a room to scream at her for hours.

But at that very moment, a smiling Wanda along with a happy Sam Wilson and a grumpy James Barnes made their appearance.

"There is my beautiful future sister in law" Wanda was smiling a toothy fake grin at Nat. "Not again Wanda" Pietro and Nat said at the same time and laughed. You eyed her fingers there was no ring. You would have murdered her if she got engaged without telling you. Was this your life? Your sister going from one douche to another?

You looked at James's grumpy face.

And suddenly, everything made sense.

Nat could not have found a better man for herself. What better way to rub it into James face then date his own brother in law? This was epic! You never thought Nat could come up with such a scheme.

You were surprised but also kinda proud.

You tried your best to hide your smirk at James's scowl and glanced at Nat. God! She was playing the part so well, even you were surprised by her skills, she was gazing so lovingly at Peitro who now had his hands in the small of her back and talking animatedly with Wanda.

Nat introduced you to everyone and Pietro gushed about how much your sister loved you and mentioned you all the time.

You smiled politely and kept up the small talk.

Just then, you got a whiff of a cologne which spiked your heartbeat and a second later a throat cleared and the deep voice you were longing to hear rang out.

"Hey guys"

Followed by another voice which your nightmares were made of.

"You looked so beautiful up there Nat" Sharon, still attached to Steve's hip.

"It's Natasha actually" Nat spoke airily. She did not like Sharon, you wondered why.

"Oh my sweetpea really likes her name" Petro was whipped. This was going to be so good.

You were never the bitter kind but being around these people,with all the memories,it just..changed you.

You didn't know if it was a natural pull or your instinct but you made the mistake of looking at Steve again.

You willed your heart to quiet down. He was looking at you as if you were a ghost. He barely blinked and you could hear his broken breaths as his eyes captivated you.

Why was he doing this? He was with Sharon still and he was looking at you like.. that.

A nudge on your elbow from Nat gave you the push you needed. You excused yourself and rushed to find the ladies room.

You needed to get your heartbeat and breathing under control. What was wrong with you? This guy straight up lied to you, on your face, for so long, led you on and here you were falling apart just because he looked at you a certain way.

You really needed to talk to someone. Keeping this all in was definitely driving you nuts.

You decide to come clean to Nat. Maybe it will give you the closure you needed, letting it all out.

You patted your cheeks a few times and turned to open the door of the ladies to go back out when you bumped into Nat.

"You ok?" Nat put a hand on your shoulder and ducked her head a little, forcing you to meet her eyes.

Nope! You couldn't tell her anything. This wasn't important. She and you both had better things to discuss.

"Yea, I just needed to use the ladies for a bit" you tried to sound extra cheery but one look from Nat was enough to tell you that it wasn't working.

"You can tell me if something is bothering you you know" you wanted to squirm under Nat's gaze.

"Pfft.. me? Why would anything bother me? I am great. You know what we should have drinks, I think I saw an open bar" You clasped her hand and dragged her behind you. --------------------------- "Ugh..I think I am dead" you opened your eyes with a groan "Did you let a car drive over me Nat?"

"You know, on several occasions last night, I almost wanted to do exactly that but... well Pietro stopped me" Nat pulled you into a sitting position and pressed 2 pills in your palm and a bottle of water "I didn't know you were such a lightweight"

"Well I usually don't drink so much" you ingested the pills and gulped down the water.

"So why last night? Something is bothering you?" Nat was eying you like THAT again.

You squinted at her and shook your head getting up to go to the bathroom. Did she know anything? Why did she keep saying that?

Nat opened her mouth to say something when her phone went off. She smiled looking at the screen and you slinked away to the bathroom quietly.

Nat was slumped on the bed when you came out of the bathroom

"Pietro has invited us for dinner at his place tonight. Are you ok with that?"

You nodded your head "But no alcohol for me. I have had enough for a week"

Nat hummed "It will be just a small circle of us. I would like for you and Pietro to get to know each other better"

"yeah yeah sure since you will be the future Mrs Maximoff '' you said mockingly and laughed at your own joke and tried to get some more sleep.

In your hungover state, you missed to notice the lack of matching laughter and quizzical expression on Nat's face.

[dreamingofscully]

5x20. “The End” - X-Files Rewatch

A little missing scene fic I wrote to accompany this episode: [INTRUSION] / Read on AO3 / rated T / M/S UST / Diana / Multiple POV, Drabble, Missing Scene / The first interactions between Mulder/Scully/Diana after the conference room scene. Also, how did Diana end up in the back seat of their car?

Anyway, on with the episode! I have quite extensive analysis about Diana & Mulder, Scully's jealousy and the MSR. Probably one of my longest posts yet. Hope you enjoy! Comments, reblogs and tag comments are love!  ❤️

***

Cute lil' Gibson. Love him so much. ❤️

Mulder and Scully's picture in their office.

What is Mulder hoping to find?

Mulder isn't sure, beyond "The Truth". His sister, of course, but overall?

Scully can't live with ambiguity like that - that their investigations will continue forever with no end goal, because there is no end goal in Mulder's mind. She needs more certainty, something solid.

If Mulder reaches the end of the work - does he lose Scully? (This theme is addressed in Fight the Future.)

Mulder's face when he sees Diana.

He's not angry, just shocked. They didn't leave on necessarily bad terms, at least in his mind. He probably blames himself, as he usually does. (MORE AT THE END.)

"There were things at home I decided I wanted to get back to."

Diana's assumption that she can have Mulder when she gets back. There's no idea that he's changed or doesn't want her any more.

Scully is confused. Why are they giving this woman a ride? Why is she being included in something that was normally just something she shared exclusively with Mulder? She's jealous, possessive, at least when it comes to Mulder.

Their positions entering Gibson's room: Mulder, Scully, Diana.

The whole mind-reading scene.

I think Mulder is thinking about Diana, just because she's turned up and it's so weird for him. He also has the annoying tendency to take Scully for granted sometimes. 😥

It could be either Diana or Scully thinking about Mulder, maybe both. Gibson is a troll. Both of them have Mulder on their minds - perhaps Diana is a bit more overt, though. Scully is good at compartmentalizing and would try to focus on the case despite the strange woman intruding on her territory.

That Mulder doesn't want Gibson to say who is thinking about him. He thinks its Diana, of course, and he does NOT want Scully to know about her yet. He wants to delay any explanations for as long as possible. Why? He's never told Scully about Diana. His feelings for Scully, his thoughts about their relationship... they're in a very delicate position and his ex showing up throws things completely off-balance.

Diana peeking in on Mulder and Scully's argument/discussion MAKES ME RAGE.  😡

Scully's look when Diana speaks. Like... who gave you permission to enter this conversation, Diana? Certainly not Scully.

Mulder giving Diana the "authority" to do the testing over Scully.

He obviously knows her strengths, what she's capable of. Still hurts.

Scully's "So you two know each other." and Diana's obtuse "It was a long time ago." OOF.

That Diana knew Mulder before Scully, does she feel that gives her some special advantage? She's trying to assert herself, get some of the power she feels she lost from their previous interactions.

Mulder's so transparent. He's SOOOOO uncomfortable with Scully knowing Diana.

Why would it be awkward unless he feels guilty or some strange sense of betrayal?

Why would he feel that way about a past relationship unless he was thinking about deepening the one he has with Scully?

Scully holding Gibson's hand. ❤️

Gibson the little troublemaker.

Telling Scully she's thinking about Diana and Diana is thinking about Scully.

Scully finding out more about Mulder and Diana.

Her jealousy is written ALL OVER her face.

That Diana is more similar to Mulder

Scully can't help but feel insecure, that Mulder would favour a partner like Diana instead of her. 😥

I love how excited Frohike is to see Scully. ❤️

When going to the LGM, she says : "Analyze the data … with an eye to the parapsychological."

Does Scully feel she needs to be more open-minded because she feels threatened? She needs an advantage.

Frohike looks very uncomfortable when Diana is brought up. What does he know that the other gunmen don't? Maybe Frohike knows exactly the predicament that Mulder is in regarding his feelings for Scully, and whatever issues Mulder dealt with about Diana.

Byers' "I always wondered why they split up." Oh he is so clueless. Scully's face. Her emotional, roughened voice. She's not dealing well with this new info.

That he was in a romantic relationship with Diana, while working with her. She’s probably thinking: maybe Diana is the reason that her and Mulder haven't had anything happen between them, why he's rejected her over and over? He doesn't feel that way about her, he's been pining over this other woman. Who will now replace her not only in a romantic sense (that she never had but she perhaps thought might have been possible) but also in a professional one.

Scully heading to the Gunmen's to fact-find about Diana is pretty cute in a heartbreaking way. Scully brings something for them to look at, but she is also there to grill them about Diana. I think her evasiveness about her reason for being there might be pretty telling to the Gunmen (Frohike, at least), and they might suspect some sort of jealousy on her part.

Mulder's chatty when there's only one of them.

Diana is DEFINITELY trying to manipulate Mulder away from Scully. "I sense you could have used an ally, though – someone who thinks like you, with some background."

Mulder's defense of Scully: "I've done okay without you."

Diana's "Hey ... I’m on your side." and taking his hand. This just screams manipulative to me. Also, this seems like a strange phrase to use. She’s trying to convince herself as much as she is Mulder.

Scully seeing the handhold.

Walking away, trying to recover from whatever it was that she thinks she saw. Some sort of intimate moment - after learning about their past. Diana seems to want to rekindle things, but where does Mulder stand?

The scene in the car is just heart-wrenching. The deep sigh, the tears in her eyes.  😥

Then, Scully proving to a roomful of agents why she's been the BESTEST PARTNER EVER. TAKE THAT STUPID FOWLEY. (I’m not biased, I swear.)

Mulder's so happy and proud that people are seeing how awesome Scully is. ❤️

Scully dropping the "five years" that she's worked with Mulder to Diana and talking about proof.

Diana's criticism: "How do you quantify the spiritual? It can’t be done." Trying to undermine the importance of what Scully's learned, what she's given Mulder.

Diana frames her argument as being concerned with the X-Files being shut down. So what? Is Mulder just supposed to ignore the incredible evidence so he can continue his endless pursuit of nothing? Never wanting proof or anything concrete, just happy to gather stories and have faith in unprovable beliefs?

The similarity to the beginning with Skinner - what does he want? Does he want proof or does he want to endlessly investigate cases and learn interesting things but never actually accomplish anything? Does he want Scully's way, or Diana's?

Scully's white suit vs Diana's black one. Just sayin'.

MULDER DOESN'T ULTIMATELY CARE ABOUT THE X-FILES IF HE CAN GET PROOF. HE CHOOSES SCULLY.

Pre-Scully, would Mulder have thought the same as Diana? Probably. But now his beliefs have shifted. It doesn't matter what he has if he doesn't have the foundation, the basis in reality - to back them up.

Mulder has GROWN. He's changed so much since Scully's come into his life.

Time for Scully to do the same.

CSM back to his old tricks. They wanted him back so he could assassinate - but he's just a tricksy manipulator who takes pleasure in tearing hope away from people at the last minute. He's a cat playing with a mouse before he breaks it’s neck.

Scully's wearing a lot of skirts this season. ❤️

Gibson's "They’re so worried about what other people are thinking when the people they’re worrying about are worried about the same thing. It makes me laugh."

Scully's worried about Mulder, and Mulder's worried about Scully.

"No, you don’t care what people think. Except for her. The other one." - Gibson

Scully does what's right no matter the consequences. That's why she's still with Mulder. But Diana, she has no idea what to do there.

Diana falling asleep while watching Gibson. So she's incompetent, too? Cool cool cool. 😡

Scully at Mulder's apartment. Skinner knowing she's there.

She went home after finding out Diana was shot/after finding the sniper assassinated. Changed and came to Mulder's apartment. Why? To be there for him. Maybe she heard about Jeffrey Spender and his threats.

"I'll be here if you need to reach me." - Scully

Staying with him, helping him through whatever he's thinking; that they've lost not only the proof but the X-Files as well. Maybe their partnership.

Scully feels guilty. Mulder sided with her, chose her proof despite the warnings from Diana. And the consequences she mentioned are all coming true. Maybe she's not good for him anymore, maybe she is HOLDING HIM BACK. Her thoughts, her guilt that she expresses in Fight the Future start here.

The ending.

Holding onto Mulder while he stands there, stoic and unresponsive.

First, he lost his proof, his answers. Then, his life’s work. What’s left?

Scully’s reaching out, but he's folded into himself.

I like how this episode seems to end with Scully embracing Mulder - trying to hold onto him while he is the stoic and standoffish one. Seems like this whole episode, from an MSR perspective, has been about Scully's emotions surrounding their relationship, trying to hold onto Mulder, who she feels is slipping away. Holding tight to the idea of THEM when she's not sure there has ever been the possibility of a THEM.

***

MY DIANA THEORIES

Diana

She helped CSM when he was shot in Redux II: in exchange, he'd find a way for her to return and get Mulder back

She returns at the same time as CSM; at the beginning all she's told is that she can have Mulder (yes, like an object), nothing much about Scully except that she's his partner and they AREN'T involved

She's shot, why? To show her that CSM can do what he wants with her, that he OWNS her; she's cured quickly, by HIM: tells her she's going to be working on the XF with his son and her only objective is to get Mulder to turn against Scully or at least put a wedge between them

CSM knows that the MSR is the reason why his repeated attempts at turning Mulder have failed. Mulder's changed, he no longer can be manipulated by people as easily. Scully is his conscience, his integrity. As long as they are together, Mulder in invulnerable.

Diana is the perfect way to disrupt the relationship. She's been working with the Consortium, and she can (or at least used to be able to) wrap Mulder around her finger.

Diana/Mulder Relationship

They had an on-again, off-again relationship ever since he was out of the academy (Gunmen)

Diana was manipulative but loved him in her own way. She feels entitled to him. She assumes he will come running back to her because he always did it before.

From my Kill Switch post: Diana made Mulder wear the ring to 'claim' him, she was pretty possessive of him. They didn't actually get married until after they discovered the X-Files. And that was sort of a last ditch effort by Mulder to keep her, since she was getting impatient with his obsessive focus on the X-Files. She left anyway shortly after, sent the annulment papers by mail for some bogus reason that she guilted him into agreeing with. I don't think Mulder was ever in a healthy relationship with someone who was unselfish and truly cared about him until Scully (and even that isn't quite healthy in some ways, but at least she cares for him).

Mulder feels responsible for losing Diana, that it was all his fault for the relationship failing. He's avoided romantic entanglements since then. He SPECIFICALLY refused to entertain the idea about loving Scully because of this history.

He doesn't harbour any negative feelings towards Diana, or feel that she did anything wrong.

I have some ideas of what she said to him to get him to agree to the annulment and they'd probably fuck him up; this goes beyond speculation and into fanfic territory so I won't get into it here. Nevertheless, he feels like he's shit at relationships, that if he were to try to become involved with Scully in that way that she'd leave him because of it. He always loses those he loves, and it's always his fault.

[aiimaginesbts]

All In My Head (M)

Yoongi x Reader (Yoongi’s POV)

**Part 2 to Command, but can be enjoyed on its own as well**

Genre: Smut, childhood friends to lovers AU

Warnings: Public foreplay, exhibitionist tendencies, a little dirty talk, jealous Yoongi

Word Count: 3,609 words

Disclaimer/Copyright 

Your eyes were focused on the buildings whizzing past outside through the train windows, unaware of your boyfriend frowning as he looked at you. More specifically, at the line where your thigh and skirt met, revealing a bit of flesh above your knees.

Yoongi was not happy. Well, he wasn’t unhappy, per se, but there was definitely something bothering him. He knew what it was, but he was also aware that he was being irrational, so he wasn’t sure what to do about it.

He had known you almost all his life, since you were kids, but you had only become a couple a few weeks ago. Maybe that was why he felt so hesitant now. Yoongi knew how to treat you as his best friend. That was super easy. It came to him as naturally as breathing. Although most people think of him as brash and forthright in his opinions, you were the only person he could share his innermost thoughts and feelings with. You might not agree with him all the time. Hell, it had led you two into more arguments than he could count, but you would always make up within a day or two. Best-friend-you he was familiar with. That didn’t mean he knew how to handle you now. No, girlfriend-you was a new, different monster that he had no idea how to deal with.

People say that being in love with your best friend is a lucky thing. Or something. How did that song go again? Lucky I’m in love with my best friend… Yoongi didn’t feel so lucky now. Somehow the combination of the two – best friend and girlfriend – had turned into a daytime nightmare today. Because Yoongi knew practically everything there was to know about you. His brows furrowed at your legs. And he knew you very rarely wore skirts.

So the question that had bugged him since he first met up with you late that morning ran through his mind again; why is she wearing a skirt today? Unfortunately, only one answer came to his mind. You knew that he was going to bring you to lunch with his friends from college today. You must have wanted to flirt with them, right? Why else would you suddenly wear such feminine clothing? It was always jeans whenever you went out with him, even when you went on dates together.

He supposed he shouldn’t be surprised, after all. He had been in love with you for a while, but you had only seen him as your childhood pal all the way up to his confession. Through a bet, he had made you promise to follow his commands, and after abusing your agreement to lead you to a steamy situation, he had revealed that he’d fallen for you. There was no mistaking your surprise then; he was sure you hadn’t had an inkling before he said anything. Even though he was overjoyed when you’d said yes to being his girlfriend, it didn’t take much for doubt to consume him.

Did you agree to be his girlfriend because you were caught up in the heat of the moment? Worse still, was it because you were afraid to lose him as a friend if you’d said no? Was his irreplaceable friendship with you going in a downwards trajectory, undetected, heading for the inevitable doom because he told you how he felt about you? Maybe you just became his girlfriend out of pity, or because you’d felt guilty, or didn’t know how to refuse him. He felt like such a jerk.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm his panicked thoughts. Whatever you felt about him, you wouldn’t do something as cruel as attempting to seduce his friends right under his nose. As if finally noticing that Yoongi had been staring daggers at you, your eyes left the train doors you were leaning next to and turned to him. “Is there something wrong, Yoongi?”

“Why are you wearing a skirt?”

The abrupt question visibly unsettled you, and Yoongi felt like a heel. He didn’t mean to vocalise the question branding itself into his brain. It was that skirt. How could it not have attracted his friends, when it seduced the hell out of him? Memories of the lunch less than an hour ago came back to him, unbidden. His friends were definitely interested in you – especially since your appearance today was nothing like he’d described to his friends. Your style was usually comfortable and laid-back, but today even the normally unobservant Yoongi noticed that you wore makeup, and the skirt completed the pretty ensemble you wore. Not that he ever thought you weren’t pretty, but he’d always loved that your beauty was understated. Like something one needed to uncover to realise its true beauty. He wanted to be the only one who knew what a true gem you were.

That was definitely not the case now. His friends had all insisted how lucky he was to have you; that you were too pretty for him. Okay, to be fair, they said you were too nice for him too, but he wouldn’t put much stock in that. They’d only known you through what he’d told them about you, and a short lunch couldn’t have given them much of an insight into the amazing person he knew you were. But that comment about being beautiful? That he knew was genuine, and he was sure that the skirt played a part in the formation of their opinion, too. Hoseok was chatting up a storm with you. Yoongi had no doubt that his closest friend after you could charm you in no time. Then you would leave him for Hoseok.

“I just… wanted to make a good impression on your friends,” you answered in a small voice. “Do I look that bad?”

Yoongi wasn’t sure what answer he was expecting from you, but it wasn’t this. Trying to push the images of you wearing tinier and tinier skirts for Hoseok, Yoongi tried to focus on your answer. “Why would you need to do that?”

Huffing at having your question answered by another question, you explained, “You said your friends always made fun of you for not caring about anything other than your passion for music.” Your fingers ran across your skirt, then tugged at each other, showing Yoongi a level of nervousness that he’d never seen before. “If they saw my usual sloppy appearance, they might think that I’m one of those things you just chose on a whim because you didn’t care to think about it.”

God, why am I so stupid? Your answer made Yoongi feel awful. He had allowed his petty jealousy to run away with his idiotic thoughts, not noticing how anxious you were about meeting his friends. Instead, he made you feel more self-conscious than you already were. Thinking back, you were always asking him about them, especially after he’d invited you to come and join them today. You’d asked to see their picture, taking the time to memorise their names, wanting to know what they were like. It only made him suspect that you’d had an eye on one of them, but you just wanted to show them that he’d picked his girlfriend well. You’d wanted their approval. The realisation felt like an undeserved reward and a warranted punishment at the same time.

“You don’t need to do anything like that,” he started to say, but the doors on the other side of the coach had opened at the same time, and a flood of passengers rushed in. Half of his words were more of a grunt as he was pushed against you into the corner between the end of the row of seats and the door, and he wasn’t sure if you’d heard anything he’d said. He barely heard the soft oof that came out of you as you were squished between him and the hard corner.

After announcing that the doors would close, the train continued speedily on, unaware of the uncomfortable position you were in. Moving back a tiny step – which was the best he could manage in the now overcrowded coach – he looked at you with concern. “Are you okay?”

“Mm-hmm,” you told him glumly, refusing to meet his eyes. It wasn’t the first time he’d seen you sad, but it was harder now because you were his girlfriend. And he was the one who’d brought tears to your eyes – he could tell you were trying not to cry from the slight rise in your pitch. Your hands had grabbed handfuls of the offending piece of clothing, as if wishing you could take it off right there and then. The movement was revealing more and more of your delectable thighs to him – and if Yoongi had thought that his thoughts had gone haywire before, this sight was making him lose his mind altogether.

His large hands grabbed yours, pulling your skirt even further up until just a hair’s breadth away from showing your panties. “Just so you know, you look amazing,” he finally answered your earlier question. He wasn’t sure whether your gasp of surprise was due to his whispered words in your ear or his sudden, daring movement, but Yoongi decided that he didn’t care. Right hand cupping your sex through your underwear, he easily found your sensitive spot.

“Yoongi!” You hissed as loudly as you dared when his two fingers rubbed along your slit, showing no signs of stopping despite your location. “Are you crazy?”

“It’s all your fault,” he drawled in that maddening devil-may-care tone of voice he’d mastered so well. He knew it frustrated and confused you to no end, which was perfect in this case because he didn’t want you to know how much you’d affected him. “Making it so easy for me to touch you by wearing this.” You squealed when his left hand tugged at your skirt, afraid that he’d pull it right off on the train, and then bit your lower lip, even more afraid that you’d revealed yourself to the other passengers.

“Stop it, Yoongi.” Well aware that your protest was rendered weak by your heavy breathing, you still tried to put up a fight, for the sake of your mind if not for your body. The latter melted readily at Yoongi’s touch, completely oblivious to the fact that you were in public, squeezed like sardines by other people. “Someone might see us.”

“Is that why you got wet so quickly?” If you were in your right mind, you might have smacked him for teasing you. However, in the state you were in, the only thing you could think of was how right he was – it couldn’t have been two minutes and your thong was already a soggy mess in his hand. You wanted to whimper; it felt so very good, but at the same time you were desperate to deny it. “Relax. No one would notice.”

At that reassurance, you tried to look around, but your boyfriend had you literally trapped in the corner, and you could barely see anything over his height. Yoongi himself was only then checking his surroundings as well. He could barely turn in his spot, the coach was that packed, and he was jammed into that little corner right against you. Not that he was going to complain about that now. From what he could tell, the person behind him had her back to him, engaged in a conversation with her friends. Another guy standing next to him by the door had his earphones plugged in, engrossed with something on his phone screen. The most anyone could see of you were your legs, slightly spread apart by one of his – the rest of your body was almost completely covered by his own.

Having ensured that no one was watching him, Yoongi grew more eager to finish what he’d unthinkingly started. Deftly pushing your soaked underwear aside, he revelled in the silky, smooth feel of your sensitive slicked folds directly against his skin. No further objections were forthcoming from you. He could tell that you were trying to focus on keeping yourself from making any noise. For some reason that egged him on even more. He didn’t want to be discovered, but he also wanted to make you cry out helplessly – it felt like a challenge. He wanted everyone to know how good he made you feel.

At the same time, he was genuinely surprised at how wet you’d gotten so quickly. The train was only about to reach the next stop, but he was wet to his knuckles just by brushing against your pussy. He suppressed a groan. If you were in his room, he bet he’d be able to push his cock all the way inside you in a single thrust. His fingers hadn’t made it inside you yet, but it was obvious that you were ready. More than ready for him.

Yoongi had no idea what brought out the daredevil streak in him today, but after he shifted a little to get into a more comfortable position, he shoved two of his fingers into you without hesitation. Oh, you were definitely eager, regardless of your feeble protests. Your dripping pussy allowed him to bury himself to his knuckles, and your abundant juices were already making their way to his wrist. The sudden intrusion came as a surprise to you, he was sure, from the way you lurched forward. That, and the mewl you let out before you could stop yourself. You bit your lower lip hard, trying to squash any noises fighting to escape your throat as Yoongi finger fucks you at full speed from the get-go.

The desperate fists clenching as hard as they could on the front of his shirt mirrored the tight grip that your insides had on his fingers. Yoongi allowed himself a soft grunt under his breath. True, he hadn’t been with you for all that long as a couple, but he would never have guessed that you could get so wound up this fast. Even though you were doing an excellent job keeping your moans he knew had to be lodged in the narrow constrict of your throat, it was impossible for you to control your breathing. The heavy panting sounded just like a muted version of your whimpers, and he could easily imagine you letting yourself go completely, sobbing and calling for him as he pounded you into the bed.

While your reaction made him feel powerful, drunk on his control over you, it was also driving him mad. It wasn’t long before he had to adjust himself again to alleviate the strain against his pants. He would give anything to pull his cock out and just fuck you against the wall, but he knew he couldn’t. In fact, Yoongi was reminded to glance around the coach, making sure that his change in position hadn’t revealed to anyone what he was doing to his girlfriend.

The man almost adjacent to him was still absorbed in his phone, and Yoongi sent a silent thanks to whoever it was that created whatever content that had him so enraptured. The girls’ conversation behind him sounded like it had gotten more heated, if anything. Not that he was paying any attention to it before then. Your muffled cries were the only thing he wanted to hear, if he had any choice in the matter.

He started to turn his attention back to you, but something caught his eye – a young man standing in the middle between the two rows of seats, probably about his age, staring open mouthed right at your direction. Yoongi froze. He knew full well that what he was doing was extremely risky, but now that he was caught, he had no idea what to do. It felt like time had stopped; that, or everything was moving at a fraction of the normal speed. The eternity in his mind must have been merely a second or two, because in the time that the man’s friends called his name and he turned, you were only just looking up in curiosity at what made Yoongi stop.

At odds over how to proceed, Yoongi gave his fingers a sharp thrust upwards, effectively distracting you and buying him a tiny window to assess the situation. The man was nodding at something his friends were saying but wasn’t contributing anything to the conversation – which meant that he was not about to expose the two of you. In fact, he was completely distracted from frequently darting his eyes in your direction.

Convinced that he was not about to get into trouble, Yoongi resumed assaulting your pussy with renewed vigour. Already brought to a stage of almost complete abandon before, it wasn’t hard to get you close again. Yoongi shifted slightly to the right, exhilaration consuming him as he revealed you and let the man confirm what he was suspecting. The man was staring unabashedly at the display now, completely ignoring his friends, who were thankfully not noticing his lack of attention.

Never letting up on his rapid movements, Yoongi leaned closer to whisper in your ear, “Looks like we have an audience.” It took several moments for his words to sink in, but eventually you looked around in a panic at his warning. By following his gaze, you fell upon the target and promptly squealed in terror. You tried to tug your skirt down, but Yoongi was doing the exact opposite; yanking it up hard, as if not caring that your drenched thong, pushed aside by his fingers buried deep inside you, was practically visible to the stranger. “Now, now, don’t ruin the show for him.”

You wanted to spit out an angry retort to his arrogant teasing, but he didn’t give you a chance to. Not when he was curling his fingers as he moved rapidly in and out of you, scraping the sensitive spot within. Yoongi’s arm was tiring out from the physical exertion, his wrist was feeling the effects of being bent at the unnatural angle for so long, but he would rather die than stop now. In contrast to your outward distress at being watched, the realisation had made your pussy grip him even harder than before. “Fuck, you’re tighter than ever,” Yoongi groaned into your ear. “I had no idea you’re an exhibitionist.”

“I’m not.” Your short reply was raspy, higher pitched than normal and completely devoid of strength. Yoongi didn’t believe your denial for a second. However, he couldn’t believe how turned on he was, either. Perhaps it was that irrational, lingering jealousy he felt when you interacted with his friends that fuelled his desire to show someone how much you needed him. Not that a complete stranger leering as you gasped and held onto him desperately did anything at all. Yet it still felt unbelievably good. There was a sense of being needed, of being powerful and in control, and of being desired all at once, intoxicating him.

But he was aware that it had to end soon. Not only had your breathing become more laboured, the wet, squelching sounds from your flooding pussy was also gradually increasing in volume, to the point he was worried that it would be heard over the sound of the moving train and surrounding noises. He had never seen you this sexually excited, but that also meant that you couldn’t hold it in for long – at this point, he wouldn’t be surprised if the overwhelming pleasure made you forget where you were, and you started screaming his name.

Besides, Yoongi was dying to see your face when you fall apart. He could never tire of it. Seeing you lose your composure, the look of euphoria that was all because of him was something he could never get enough of. “Do you think he can see my fingers fucking your naughty pussy?” He angled his wrist to rub his palm against your clit as he thrusted furiously in and out of your sopping heat. The added stimulation pushed you over the edge almost immediately. Your legs trembled, then shook as you came more violently than ever before. You gaped up at him as you burst around him, your mind somehow remembering to remain silent. Normally, Yoongi would’ve devoured your mouth in a soul-sucking kiss, but gazing at your eyes made glassy by your tears and ecstasy, your parted lips quivering in a silent scream as your hips grinded against his hand was pretty gratifying in and of itself.

As you came down from your high, you slumped against your corner, completely spent. And not a moment too soon – the next stop was your stop. Besides, Yoongi felt some petty satisfaction in making you walk in your weakened state. Call it an undeserved revenge for making him irritably possessive and insecure all day. He had to pull you to get you to move through the open doors onto the station platform – it was obvious you were not in a condition to walk anywhere – but he wrapped a firm arm around your waist, both to keep you moving and to support you.

Just as the last of the passengers disembarked the train, Yoongi glanced inside. In the heat of the moment, he’d forgotten about the lone spectator. He was still inside, his eyes darkened with lust as they followed you told Yoongi that he’d given the man a good show. Smirking, he brought his fingers to his mouth, licking your essence while peering smugly at his audience, before linking them between yours as he led you through the throng.

[mando-chicken]

Dark Fives AU Timeline

The Dark Fives AU is an AU based on the concept of a force sensitive Fives. This will be a general overview of the draft timeline, it may be subject to change as I begin to develop the AU further, but it should give you a general idea of what happens.  

This took me so long to write oof, putting it under a read more to save your dash space!

To begin with, Fives didn’t really see himself as being any different to his other brothers. For the most part he just assumed that everyone had finely tuned senses, and thanks to a bit of a small attention span during his younger years he didn’t really notice when strange things happened.  

Items he’d placed in a certain location would move closer to him and he would just assume that he must have put it closer to himself than he’d originally thought, or he would anticipate something before it happened and just put it down as dumb luck or a funny coincidence. Echo was usually too buried in regs or whatever exercise they were completing to notice these small tells either.  

This advantage in skill over the other cadets was one of the many reasons their squad was fast tracked to their final test at a young age.   

His skills give him an edge during battle and later during ARC training, but for a long while his abilities remain largely dormant.

Fives, occasionally, unconsciously influences the emotions of his brothers when feeling a particularly strong emotion – when he was agitated about failing the test the first time his anger rubbed off onto Hevy and Echo who then began to fight – he’s entirely unaware when he’s doing it, but it seems to effect Echo the most prominently.

When Fives loses Echo his abilities cause almost the entire 501st to plunge into a deep sadness as a wave of depressing emotions crashes over them from Fives. The Jedi notice something is bothering their troops but can’t quite pinpoint it thanks to Fives withdrawing himself from everyone else for a while.  

It’s on Umbara when Fives finally cracks. After all the stress and horror that Krell put them all through he finds himself alone in one of the unused hangars, pacing and muttering angrily to himself. He’s worked himself up and when his emotions reach their peak he can’t help shouting, releasing all of his pent-up emotions at once.  

Everything surrounding him is suddenly all violently throw away from him in all directions and it’s like the floodgates have finally been opened. He can feel the force as it all pours into his mind for the first time, whispering, shouting, screaming at him all at once. His panic only makes things worse; his mind being filled with images, thoughts and feelings of brothers all throughout the galaxy.  

And he can feel them all dying.   

It isn’t until Rex decides to come looking for him almost half an hour later that he’s finally found. Everything within several meters of his person is floating in the air dangerously, but Rex only needs to take one look at the state his vod’ika is in to brave the danger. He’s shaking and finding it impossible to get down enough oxygen, begging for the horrible voices and feelings to get out of his head and leave him alone.  

Rex holds him for what feels like hours, struggling to get through to the distressed trooper and fearful of making the situation any worse than it already is. Eventually, however, Fives is exhausted from his panicking and begins to slowly drift off, calming slightly as he does so. It’s only then that Rex decides to call Kix to give him a once over and is able to get a somewhat shaky explanation.  

They decide that until they can completely confirm what is happening to Fives, they won’t speak to the Jedi, their trust too shaken after killing Krell earlier that very day.  

It becomes very difficult for Fives to hide his abilities after that – clones are used to expressing their emotions with one another, but due to having received no training on force abilities Fives finds almost anything can set off his abilities and it begins to become a bit of a hazard during battle.  

Deciding that he’s becoming a danger to his brothers, Fives begins to experiment with the force during his downtime in the hopes of being able to control his skills. Without instruction on how to use the force he finds himself getting easily frustrated by it, but as a result finds that getting agitated is perhaps the easiest way of getting the force to do as he wishes.  

When Tup attacks a Jedi, Fives senses what he’s going to do just before he does it, but it still unable to reach his brother in time. For a long while afterwards he blames himself for not reacting fast enough, despite all the training he’d been doing with his abilities.  

Much of the arc continues the same way as it is portrayed in the show, up until the final confrontation with the Coruscant Guard. Able to sense Fox’s intention to fire at him, Fives reaches out with the force, throwing back the approaching troopers into the side of the large crates behind them. While none of the Guard are seriously injured by his attack, they are rendered largely unconscious from the strength of the attack.  

Without the Guard to disrupt them, Fives is able to pass on all the information he’d learned from his time on Kamino and from the chancellor. Anakin is still highly skeptical, but with the convincing of Rex he’s willing to at least let them do a little investigating on their own.  

While Anakin and Rex inform the chancellor that Fives was killed during a shootout – alleging that his body was lost when it fell down a nearby shaft to the lower levels – Kix and Jesse are quick to escort their brother to a disused medical facility within the GAR where they can begin some tests. 

Finding the presence of the inhibitor chip is easy enough, but after a lengthy discussion they decide to allow Kix some time to study the chip and try to figure out just how it works. Anakin is very much interested in Fives’ force sensitivity, but unfortunately is unable to find the time to try and help the trooper hone his abilities, especially when the outer rim sieges begin.  

Unfortunately for Fives, he is barred from joining his brothers in battle and forced to remain back on Coruscant by himself, unable to leave certain areas in case he is discovered. During this alone time, he is able to channel his frustration into strengthening his abilities.  

When Echo is saved by Rex, Anakin and the Bad Batch he returns to Coruscant after being informed that Fives is still alive and the two of them are finally able to reunite.  

Anakin is more than angered when Kix later confirms their fears about just what the chips were intended for and he immediately gives the order for the 501st to have their chips removed as subtly as possible.  

When Anakin confronts Palpatine, he brings with him Rex, Fives and Echo (who insists he won’t let Fives go without him). Palpatine is all too happy to admit to everything, deciding that it’s time to try and turn Anakin to the dark side. For the most part he succeeds, but makes the mistake of insulting the gathered clones. What he wasn’t expecting was for one of them to practically throw him across the room with the force. He especially wasn’t expecting his loyal trooper, Fox, to draw his blaster and shoot him squarely through the back.  

Fox is loyal to the chancellor, but his loyalty is to the Republic first and foremost, and there’s no way he can allow someone who has openly admitted to manipulating both his brothers and both sides of the war. He’s never been so happy that people tend to forget his presence in the room.  

Skywalker takes over as chancellor, stating that it was Palpatine’s last act before he died after being gunned down by a ‘rogue bounty hunter’. With a little bit of Echo’s newfound computer skills, they’re able to come up with a flawless video that they show in place of the actual security footage that has already been erased and replaced.  

His first act as chancellor is to free all clones, offering them all rights as full Republic citizens and permanently ending all clone production, passing on the information about the chips to all medics in the GAR. The senate is in uproar over the decision, but there’s nothing they can do about it, Anakin has the entire clone army on his side.  

The Jedi, too, are upset by this development, but they are quickly outlawed and chased from Coruscant. Many of them die, but not as many as in the original purge. Cody assists Obi-wan in leaving Coruscant in secret, but refuses to leave his brothers behind and elects to stay with them in the GAR. During all the chaos the wolfpack and a large portion of the 104th are able to flee Coruscant with their Jedi and several younglings in tow – while no reported sightings are ever confirmed, it’s suspected that they’re all living together somewhere in the outer rim. Many other commanders and captains decide to leave the army, sneaking their Jedi out with them as they go.  

Without Dooku and Sidious to lead them and assist war efforts from behind the scenes the war is brought to a close, taking only a few months longer. The planets and systems that had defected from the Republic are brought back into the fold and quickly after the first Galactic Empire is formed.

The Kaminoans attempt to keep many of the young clones who are yet to be born, but Emperor Skywalker, who has recently become a father himself, refuses to allow these children to be kept as slaves and sends in his men to take them by force. Fives can’t recall a more glorious sight than watching Tipoca City burn, all his brothers safely by his side.  

Anakin takes on training Fives personally and within a few years he is anointed as the first member and leader of their new Imperial Inquisition. He trains force sensitive younglings to use their gifts and even manages to find a few fellow force sensitive brothers who quickly become a part of a tight knit group of fearsome enforcers of the Empire’s will.  

Rex and Cody share the burden of commanding the GAR, and Rex continues to serve as Anakin’s most trusted advisor. Cody on the other hand oversees the training of civillians who hope to join the GAR, ensuring that their skills are sharp enough to be considered for entry. It’s a hard job for them both, but they’re determined to ensure that standards are upkept for both the safety of the Empire and their brothers who chose to continue serving in the army.  

Echo works closely with the special forces, reporting directly to Rex, Cody, and occasionally Anakin. He meets up with the Bad Batch and they quickly become a formidable team and good friends. He of course returns back to Coruscant regularly to meet up with Fives and the two of them often exchange crazy stories from their work.