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donutloverxo · 3 years ago

Text

A Royal Scandal 2

Modern royalty au

(Image from Pinterest)

Cowritten with @lizzygal

I'm so sorry! I made a mistake while posting this yesterday so I'm reposting it now. Hope y'all enjoy💖

Note - Since y'all liked it so much we've decided to post this fic on both ao3 and my tumblr! There will be no taglists for this however💖 You can subscribe to the ao3 story to receive updates!

Please note that my stories are not to be stolen or reposted on any other site. Reblogs are welcome. This blog and this story is 18+. Do not read, follow or interact if you are not 18+.

Summary - Modern ruler, His Majesty King Steven G Rogers, is on a quest to make his long term secret relationship the real thing. He is a man in love and wants his lover and partner to be his queen.

Warnings - Smut (m/f), dub con/non con, sex tape, scandals, mentions of past domestic abuse, soft dark Steve, possessive Steve, spanking, power imbalance, Mentions of previous domestic abuse.

Pairing - King!Steve x reader

Word count - 8k

To be fair, Steven could understand why his mother was so upset after watching the entire footage from the royal steam rooms. He had a far better understanding after having seen the footage in question. The one that had led to his mother’s reaction that very morning.

Seated beside Carol on the ride back, he slipped in his wireless earbuds and pulled up the first video he found online on his phone.

A separate car had been sent for you for whenever your meeting completed. However, he had a whole series of his own back at the palace before his day could be considered over in the administrative offices. Days were never really over for him. Should anything happen somewhere in his nation, he would be informed. As was expected for a ruler.

Until then, he had fifteen or so minutes to kill till he arrived back at the royal palace, depending on city traffic.

Which was how he found himself watching what was obviously some sort of hidden camera. As the royal banya did not have CCTV cameras. Steve found himself making a mental note to himself to ask Carol about it.

After he watched the video.

He had the feeling that this would not be going away anytime soon. Therefore, he needed to know what was on there if he was going to have to defend his actions, or even speak about it.

It was somewhat surreal watching himself walk into view wearing nothing. Not even a towel. Talking with someone who was obviously you.

Based on where the camera was located, Steve could tell it was somewhere in the hallway that led from the steam rooms into either the showers or locker room. Thank all the saints above your back was to the camera. Half of it anyway. You were standing at a turn in the hallway, leaning against the wall. Half of you hidden. A towel wrapped around your body.

Thanking those saints above still that there was no sound, Steve watched on as a voice narrated the video, some celebrity blogger dissecting the footage as if it were a pivotal moment in some sporting event.

Steve watched himself turn to face you, facing the camera too and exposing his entire self to the world.

Not that he was ashamed. He had nothing to be ashamed about. Steve was built tall and powerful like his father and mother’s father. He kept himself in shape and as for the manhood that hung heavy between his thighs, he refused to be embarrassed by that either. The blogger however did have several opinions about what she referred to as, the royal sword.

She also seemed to be very opinionated when Steve watched himself kneel down in front of you. He’d never watched himself go down on you before and found himself transfixed, easily able to ignore the blogger’s excited rambling.

For once, Steve watched your hands sink into his hair as he sank between your legs. He watched your pleasure grow and grow, he watched you sag back into the wall and reach up, grabbing at it like a cat stretching out in the hot sun.

Seeing it happen like this? Steve felt like a voyeur. He felt like he was doing something wrong. And then, he watched you climax on his face. He watched your hands tighten up against the corner of the walls meeting. He watched himself stand and no longer noticed the commentary as he sheathed himself between your legs and proceeded to pound you into the wall without mercy.

His attention caught on one little inconsequential thing. Watching one of your legs that wound over his thigh bounce wildly each time.

Quickly he exited out of the video and blog. Unwilling to watch more. Pulling a bud from his ear, he glanced over at Carol who was watching the city fly by her window.

“Have you inquired as to if the palace guard has looked into how the video was taken in the royal banya?”

Blonde hair dusted her shoulders as she looked at her king. Carol answered without a second of hesitation. “Already done Your Majesty. The camera was found this morning. A webcam of some type. It’s been sent away for fingerprints and I have the best IT professional I know looking into it, to determine if we can track down who it belongs to. The royal guard has also launched an investigation into all palace employees.”

“Thank you,” he answered her with complete sincerity.

Captain Danvers had been at his side since he assumed the throne and had proven herself hundreds of times over. She was his confidant. She was his bodyguard. She was his closest thing to a friend, if Steve could say he had such a thing. He could tell Carol anything. He had told Carol about you. Carol had told him about her sick mother and in return, Steve have given her a cottage on palace grounds while providing a nurse. So that Carol would be able to spend as much time as possible with her mother in her final days. Carol still lived on the palace grounds in that cottage down by the gardens.

“I’ll let you know when I know something,” she assured him.

***

Your return to the palace felt like it took forever. Mostly because your panties were very obviously damp from leakage and you were greatly concerned about a wet stain. The modern equivalent of a scarlet letter. Letting everyone know what you’d done.

Twice you’d checked in a bathroom along with every mirrored surface you came across.

Alas, it seemed you were in luck.

No one would know that you’d had inappropriate contact on a workday, or think you’d had an accident. Granted if someone would have noticed you planned on blaming your monthlies.

By the grace of the many women who came before you, you managed to get back to the palace without being caught and were about to go change your panties when a familiar face popped into your office.

“Hey! You’re coming! I’m not taking no for an answer!”

Wanda.

Bright red hair and a brighter red dress that was far from office appropriate appeared in your office, leaping in like an acrobat leaping onto a stage. Making you look up from where you stood behind your desk, digging through your handbag.

A bunch of different thoughts buzzed through your head.

What was Wanda talking about? Where did she want you to go? Did Wanda wear that mini-dress to work? Cause it was about five inches too short and did downright sinful things to the girls. Wanda could always pull off anything. She looked amazing in clubwear, sweats and those tea-party dresses that Jackie O was always wearing.

“Coming?” Fell from your lips in a valiant attempt to stall till you could make sense of what was happening. “What are you not taking no for an answer for this time?”

In your roommate swept like a hurricane.

“It’s practically six!” She declared, as if that was supposed to mean something to you. It had you staring at her and waiting for more information. Hands paused in their hunt for clean panties and a pantyliner in your bag’o’stuff. “No more talk of this fake boyfriend. You and me are going to go have dinner. We’re going to hit the bars to pre-game and then to the clubs! Everyone is going so you are too!”

Such news had you freezing in your patent leather pumps.

Pre-gaming? Dinner? Clubs? Everyone?

How?

It was only Thursday and then you remembered.

It was a long weekend. The winning of some great victory over the Germans from the big war that you only kinda remembered hearing about. Mostly because you’d been busy with the border issue and the education overhaul. You’d known that it was coming up and the entire four-day weekend would be spent celebrating.

Wanda saw your face. She saw what you were thinking. She was practically a mind reader. Which led her to pointing at you scoldingly. “No! No no no! No checking emails or messages. No more work. No! We’re going out tonight and we are going to have fun! You remember what fun is? Right?”

But…you really did have emails and messages to check. You actually did have a ton of work to do. Granted you always had emails and messages to check, plus work piling up. It was the nature of your job. Helping in the running of a country was a 24/7 gig.

“Wanda…”

“Nope!” She declared, marching on into your office and behind your desk to chase you out. Shooing you. Literally making you hop away and grab your handbag because you just knew Wanda wasn’t letting you back near your desk. That much was for sure.

Like a sheepdog, she herded you around your messy desk as you attempted to protest, to get her to listen, to inform her that you really really did have a good bit of work to do.

“Wait…hold on…wait, Wanda…just one second…gah!”

“No more protests! I’m not going to hear it anymore! I refuse to let you hide behind work or the fake boyfriend.”

More protests came from you. You tried. You really really did. But Wanda was shoving and pushing and hip bumping you out into a hallway that did not look like an office building, instead, it was very obviously a palace.

Your heels clicked on polished white marble that shone. Walls were cream and had priceless art hung around, gold gilded borders ran up along where the ceiling met the walls. Light fixtures were old, bronze and cut glass. Furniture that belonged in Sotheby’s was sparsely decorated around the halls.

Door were old and creaky up and down the halls, wooden with locks that required big iron keys.

It was unlike any other place you’d ever worked.

You could feel and see and even smell the smokey history oozing from the walls.

A few people were hurrying out of their offices and locking the doors behind them, which Wanda didn’t even let you do as she went on indignantly. “No! Nope! Clint from Tinder will not wait forever! He digs foreigners and he has a job and he loves to dance!”

At mention of Tinder, your gut lurched.

Dear god not this again.

Why had you ever agreed to let Wanda make you a Tinder profile? At the time it seemed so reasonable. Let her make the profile and she’d get off your ass about your alleged imaginary boyfriend. Problem solved! How on earth were you to know she’d be on the damn app making matches for you?

“Why don’t you go out with Clint from Tinder,” you wanted to know, earning yourself a roll of Wanda’s eyes as you were dragged down along the hallway to the massive marble stairs. Looking as if they’d been carved from one piece, smoothly curling down a floor to the ground floor. Large chandeliers hung with cut glass that threw light everywhere. A massive painting hung up on the large wall of a long dead large royal family in the palace of past.

“He’s not my type. But he is absolutely your type.”

Somehow you doubted that.

Sighing deeply and focusing on not snapping your ankle on the stairs and in your heels, you followed Wanda down, mixing in with the few stragglers who were leaving work and making mental notes to text Steve and let him know you’d be late coming back to the palace that night. You were then planning when you could check your work emails and work-phone messages. That had to be done in a quiet place where no one could overhear. Maybe you could go out to the club and feign a tummy ache? Then sneak away from Clint? It’d probably be much easily to sneak away from Clint than Wanda.

Click. Click. Click.

With every step you maneuvered down your heels were noisy. You’d managed to fling your sizable bag over your shoulder and just knew Steve was going to be annoyed with you. But he was an adult. Being adults meant the two of you would have to do things that you didn’t want.

“So help me, if it kills the both of us, you and I will be going out tonight and having a fun time! This is a celebratory weekend! There are festivities going on all over the city!” Wanda went on, yanking you along behind her upon reaching the bottom step and heading in the general direction of the ground floor exits.

Hurrying along behind her, you followed but you weren’t happy about it.

God did you have so much work to do and you really really wanted to spend the night with Steve. And maybe if you gave in to Wanda, she’d get off your ass about your fake boyfriend? Wait, no, your secret boyfriend, because Steve was very real, you just didn’t want to be eviscerated all over the internet and tabloids for dating a king.

You’d seen what happened when a pretty actress had dated then married a prince who didn’t rule his country. The only thing you had going for you was Steve’s country was still looked at with some serious side-eye from the world, due to past events and rulers. Plus, he wasn’t a young prince that had grown up before the eyes of the world. He was a son of a tyrant, a citizen of a sizable nation the world still viewed suspiciously with a questionable human rights record.

“You’re going to love the club! It’s totally new and they open at ten. Meaning we can have plenty of time with the girls!”

Girls?

As in plural?

Because of course this would be a group event. Wanda never half-assed anything.

“Wanda…” you began.

Before Wanda could turn her attention on you, loud shrill lady screams came and you were greeted to the sight of Maria, Okoye and Pepper. All three threw up their arms and grabbed Wanda in a big hug, yanking her away from you and freeing you from her grip.

Loud girl screeches followed.

There was group hopping and hugs and laughter.

It should have made you realize that it’d been so long since you had a fun girls night. It should have reminded you that you were young and your life shouldn’t be all about work and sneaking off with your boyfriend whenever the two of you were able to.

Your heart should have been warmed by the sight of your palace coworkers who were clearly part of the aforementioned Girls.

How long had it been since you had fun?

How long had it been since you’d had a night out on the town?

What were you doing?

Were you jumping and screeching and hugging too?

No.

You were digging into your handbag so you could text Steve real quick. To let him know about your change in plans before he began to think you’d bailed because you were a coward and got cold feet.

Just as your fingers touched the smooth surface of your iPhone…

A noise caught your attention.

Movement.

Peering up to the side at the wall, or what you’d assumed was a hallway wall since you were in another hallway nearly identical to the one upstairs. All while the hugfest continued. You noticed that the wall was at a weird angle. As if it were opening up on a hinge and by the time you realized that the wall was actually an opening to a hidden passageway, a hand grabbed your elbow and yanked you in.

No more than a soft squeak came from you.

In you tumbled.

Into a dimly lit hallway that was actually a passageway you found yourself. With a metal sounding click the wall slid back into place and a big hand fell over your mouth. Making you immediately panic, immediately reach up to grab the hand that was silencing you. Making an arm band around your chest and pull you flush back against a broad muscular body.

“Did you honestly think for one moment that I would allow you to go get drunk with Wanda? Or go to a club with a man that she met for you on Tinder?”

Steve.

It was Steve.

His faint aftershave still burnt your nose but paired with the masculine scent that was him, you relaxed only a little bit, just a smidge.

How the hell did he know all of that? Had he bugged your office? Was he following you?

Deep in your chest your heart pounded wildly. Your skin was on fire. Even though it was dimly lit, you swore you could see each nail and groove in the wooden walls of the hidden passage.

Steve’s shoes were soft on the carpeted floor. Yours however never reached. Your legs dangled. Desperately you stretched out to try and reach your toes down, but alas, Steve was holding you up and was simply that much taller than you. Easily holding you up as he carried you.

His voice an angry snarl, a seething whisp against your ear. “That is so disappointing my love. A failure on both our parts,” came his angry voice. Walking with sure footing and a quick pace through the only barely lit halls.

Turning here and there, quickly and suddenly, until you were very much lost.

A protest came from behind his palm that was crushed against your mouth. Your blood heating with every passing second till it felt as if it were boiling. All that sudden fear was turning into anger at this treatment.

“I’ve clearly failed you if you’re unable to announce with nothing but the utmost certainty that you’re both in a relationship and have no desire to go out clubbing with whomever Clint from Tinder is.” The word clubbing was spat out, as if Steve found it vile on his tongue. “As for you? Yesterday we were discussing where to go for your birthday and today, you refused to answer one of my calls! You have work to do tonight to make up to me your behavior today!”

Further down the hidden passageway you were unceremoniously carried pulled to his front. Your brain racing at warp speed.

You had work to do? You had to make up for your behavior?

Had he lost his damn mind?

Had he not seen the video of his naked nether-regions all over the internet? Or the sex that made the footage a sex tape? The two of you were now amateur porn stars and he was mad that you? Because you were trying to be lowkey until the entire situation blew over? Steve was mad because you were being reasonable?

A most valiant attempt was made to free yourself.

You struggled. You kicked. You flailed and shrilled behind the hand over your mouth. No longer taken by surprise or frightened. Now you were growing angry.

On top of being terrified of being found out in that footage and ridiculed by the world, or worse, chased out of this country by a horde of angry people who didn’t agree with you being the kings choice as not only a foreigner, but one from pretty humble roots. You were upset that the world saw such an intimate moment between the two of you and even if Steve didn’t care that his junk was all over the internet, you cared. You cared a great deal. The royal junk was your junk. It was bad enough you had to know he’d dated women before you who’d seen him nude and were intimate with him, but now the world? It was simply too much for you to comprehend.

Steve slowed and turned, using his elbow he made something pop and a slight crack of light where there was obviously another hidden door in the wall appeared.

Using his broad shoulder, Steve pushed the door open and stepped out into a hallway that led down to the royal chambers and split off.

With his knee, he shoved the hidden panel shut and tightening his grip on you, Steve hurried down that hallway.

A completely different one from where the administrative offices were located.

Rich wooden paneling covered the walls. Making everything appear warmer, lusher. An amber haze hung in the air.

Thick carpet was underfoot. Furniture spoke to its age but had been made with a quality that endured. Like this palace. Built when his land was called something else but had stood through time in proof of his claim to the throne.

Generations before him had ruled, claimed spouses and lovers in these halls, grown old and made history and now it was his turn.

Merely that knowledge had him growing excited in his slacks for a second time that day. All of your thrashing and struggling didn’t help. If anything, it sparked a part of his brain that insisted he ravish and conquer you in his royal bed.

Mouth pressed to your ear, till he felt amber and diamonds press against his lips. “I swear, I will spend the rest of tonight inside of you until things are as they were yesterday. Until you remember that when I speak to you in any manner, you answer. Considering how thoroughly you’ve consumed every last part of me, it is only fair.”

And then, in his slowed pace down the hall ever closer to the door that would lead into Steve’s Royal Apartment, he saw a portrait up on the wall that made him pause.

It was him.

Or his portrait from when he’d turned thirty.

There he stood looking down at you both. Dressed ceremonially in his crown, holding the traditional ruling scepter and wearing the robes from kings of past. Fur, jeweled toned fabric that he’d easily filled out with gold adornments, amber buttons and pipping on his shoulders.

What was most striking about this portrait compared to all the others of Steven throughout the palace, was he was alone in it and unlike all the others, at the time, he’d not been single.

Further making that internal fire burn hotter.

Making him stop and force you to look up at it with him. Framed in a gilded bronze heirloom. Up where he had to look at it to be reminded of what could have been.

“Look! Look!”

You stopped struggling and looked, were well aware of his mouth against your hair.

“See? See it? You could have been there with me. At my side. Wearing my crown. Wearing the robes and jewels of my grandmothers. My queen.”

And indeed you saw.

When you’d seen the finished portrait, you had been blown away at how your body reacted to the sight of your lover in his traditional uniform he only pulled out for big special events. How powerful he looked. How sexy he was wearing a crown, holding a golden scepter with an eagle on the end clutching a piece of amber the size of an egg.

The arm around your chest fell so he could point at the empty space in the picture beside him. “Look. Right there. That is where you would have been. Right there. At my side.”

His hand over your mouth still held you flush against him. Pulled tight against him.

That thought, that entire notion of you painted on a portrait, up there with Steve at his side. It was so surreal to you.

When it was just you and Steve it was fire and gold and everything was amazing. When it was King Steve and his Chief of Staff it was stimulating and exciting. You still weren’t sure about being queen. A queen! That wasn’t like being a princess or a duchess. A queen was different. Even the word felt different.

It made your heart start to pound wildly in your chest again. It made you breathe hard against the back of his hand. It made you have a physiological reaction.

***

This was not how Carol intended to spend her night.

It was not how she wished to start her off-time. Having given Val the update on all things that had transpired for the day as she handed off command of the Royal Guard to her fellow captain.

No sooner had she told Val everything, did one of the messengers from communications come hurrying in. A slip of paper in her hand. A note that changed everything for that night, that week and even that month.

It had left Carol walking through the royal apartments towards the Queen Mother’s rooms.

As she knew exactly what King Steven was doing and quite frankly, she wanted no part in disturbing that unless she absolutely had to.

Besides. The message that had been sent to the palace via royal envoy was meant for Her Majesty. It was best Her Majesty the Queen Mother figured out how best to deal with this coming…situation.

Compared to His Majesty’s Private Rooms, Sarah’s were all light and brightness. White marble and ornate touches. Colorful priceless paintings and large bouquets of fresh flowers in crystal vases. Soft plush furniture held little personal touches. A white chenille throw draped over her couch by a fireplace. Pink slippers sat on the floor. Books both new and ancient with various markers holding her place were scattered about. Fresh flowers. She loved fresh flowers. They were everywhere.

As expected, the door to the Queen Mother’s apartments were open.

Carol still paused outside of it to knock gently.

“Your Majesty?” She called out, looking at her watch to see that it was nearing seven. Around seven was when the queen took her dinner meal privately. Of course she’d leave the door open for kitchen staff to bring up food as usual. It wasn’t one of the nights that was reserved for Steve and his mother to have their dinners together.

After the death of her husband the former king, Sarah had effectively thrown open all the doors that he had imprisoned her with.

Her soft voice drifted out.

Delicate and gentle.

The Queen Mother sat in a large chair by a big window overlooking the city. Her pale hair pulled back at the nape of her neck. A string of pearls tightened and loosened around her fingers as she lowered the book she’d been reading. A pleasant smile came over her soft features.

Upon seeing the stone of Carol’s face, the queen frowned. “What is it? What is wrong?”

Only confirming that something was wrong, Carol shut the door and locked it.

Dinner had been brought up. Smells emanated from the queens private dining room off to the left. It reminded Carol that she hadn’t eaten since breakfast that morning. It had been that kind of a day.

Clasping her hands before her, she rocked back on her heels. “A message was sent by Her Highness Janet Van Dyne. She and her daughter will be at the palace tomorrow…”

Janet and Hope Van Dyne?

Steven’s former fiancée and her mother?

Two golden eyebrows rose, making Carol press on. “Her Highness is under the impression that they’ll be staying here? In the palace?”

All of this was new to Sarah.

She had not heard from Janet since Steve’s coronation. When she and her husband had been in attendance. Earlier that particular year, Hope had broken her engagement with Steven to run away with a Maharaja.

It’d been all over the tabloids.

A young princess of the Netherlands had broken her engagement to the crown prince of an incredibly traditional nation to follow her heart. Hope had spent many years splashed across tabloids and blogs with a handsome charismatic Asian Prince. She’d lost her royal title and gave tell-all interviews about how her family had forbade her from running away and how she’d never marry a man from infamous Rogers Royal Line. And then, oddly, she was back home with her family this year.

Sarah had found it unusual. Alas, she was a busy woman with a life of her own to keep her busy.

“Was anything else in the message,” Sarah wanted to know.

Carol shook her head.

It had been a simple message that was very to the point.

Sighing in a most un-Sarah-like sort of way. She set her book down on the arm of her chair and rose. Tall. Willowy. Pursing her lips. Her dress fell around her in a gauzy cloud.

“Do you want me to tell His Majesty?”

Pausing, the older women considered the question. Dare she tell her son? He deserved to know. Nothing good would come from this visit.

If it were Janet alone? Sarah would not be so suspicious. But Janet and Hope? And that they would come so last minute? After the release of this video footage from the royal sauna?

“Is my son with her?”

Silence.

Carol was quiet.

A noise came from the Queen Mother. A clicking of her tongue. Stepping into her slippers, she pulled the hem of her dress up. “I suppose I should not be surprised that you would keep this from me.”

More quiet came.

“I won’t ask. I’ll find out my own way and leave him be for now. Janet and Hope won’t be here tonight. This can be a problem for tomorrow, today has been difficult enough for us all. Let tomorrow be tomorrow.”

Let tomorrow be tomorrow.

On her other hand was her wedding band. A treasure itself. Now on the widow’s finger. It was so symbolic of the cage she’d lived in for the duration of her marriage.

Absentmindedly, she twisted the rings. “Have you eaten yet?” Pulling them up and down her hand. “I had hoped you would come. I had the kitchen bring up extra.” Off slipped the rings that she had to wear in public. In her hand they jingled until she set them down on a smoothly polished table.

With two heavy clicks, they bounced on the wood by a vase full of peonies. Freeing her for the time being.

“I missed you while you were away.”

A blush bloomed over her porcelain complexion at Carol’s words.

As she watched Carol lock the door to her chambers, a warmth bloomed within her chest. Such words were so simple. So honest. They were words she had not heard before in her life. In this new chapter however, in this new time in her life, she had become accustomed to kind words and compassion.

“I missed you as well.” She confessed, stepping closer and still keeping space between them. As some habits died hard. “Stay with me? Tonight?”

“There is nothing I want more, Sarah.”

***

As it turned out, now you were ready to talk.

However.

Unfortunately.

Steve was now past that point and was on a whole other page.

You found yourself protesting when he carried you into his bedroom like some manner of caveman would carry a slab of meat. Shrilling out when he yanked and ripped and tore at your dress, forcing it over your head after ripping fabric and popping buttons, till it was an unsalvageable heap of material and threads.

Which was an absolute tragedy.

You loved that dress.

You even pointed out that fact to him somewhere between the threshold of his bedroom and his massive bed that really was fit for a king.

It was so big!

A headboard wider than Wanda’s itty-bitty car was long. An elaborate collection of regal flourishes and shapes. Dark sheets so soft they were slippery awaited you as you screeched and hollered, letting out an outraged sound when your bra was popped then yanked roughly from you.

“Steven!” You admonished your king, toes digging deep into the thick carpet as you’d lost your shoes back in the hallway leading to his quarters.

This whole evening was going off the rails for you. There was no other way to put it.

Dim sconces on the wall lit the way. Highly effective mood lighting if you ever saw it. Allowing you to see the set in Steve’s face, the firm line of his mouth.

His fingers wrapped around the back of your neck so he could hold you close, ground out for your benefit. “All day long I tried. Calls. Messages. Texts. Did you want to talk? No. You ignored me. Now I do not wish to talk either.”

Pushing you forward, you found yourself stumbling but knew if you didn’t walk on your own, Steve would merely toss you up on his bed. Up on the sea of pillows. Framed by gilded silver and dark curtains that came down from above to allow for privacy.

“All day long you denied me. I’ll remind you what is mine until you’re thinking clearly again. Until we’re back where we were yesterday!”

“I’m ready to talk now! I’m in a place where I can discuss this with you! I am thinking clearly!”

Words were not needed.

Oh no.

Not when the king grabbed your hand, pulled your arm back and pressed your palm against his straining erection. Hot to the touch. Shockingly hard. Painfully so even you were willing to bet.

Your knees hit the bed and you were pushed forward till you fell over, till you wound up on the expanse of bedding in a tangle of hands and knees and that silky smooth material.

A big explosion came from Steve. Feeling like and you were flailing on your stomach, trapped beneath his oppressive weight and the bed. Fighting. Wiggling. Trying to get free from beneath him but bigger stronger arms had your wrists.

Something was being wrapped around your wrists that you couldn’t see, as your vision was impeded by the broad chest in your face. Right there. Blocking your line of sight. Pinning you down to the sea of grey until finally, finally, he was up and you were once more struggling, wiggling, jerking and finding that you were tied to the headboard.

You were tied to the headboard. You were naked and bound to his bed.

Silky fabric that was Steve’s tie bound your wrists snugly together and wove into the headboard, securing you there most soundly.

It was outrageous! It was absurd!

You were tied to his headboard!

It was a first for you.

When your gaze returned to your boyfriend and even that was now a bit questionable, you were greeted to the sight of Steve shedding his suit. Yanking off each garment without pause or care. A few tears were heard and he was far rougher than need be. A button or two may have flown off.

“You cannot be serious! That’s your plan? You’re going to take what’s yours? Are you serious? This is not the dark ages!”

Ignoring you, Steve shoved his slacks down his long legs. Allowing his rigid cock to bob obscenely. Causing an eyeroll to immediately come from you. A hint of something dark on his hip caught your eye. But it was only a flash and as he was moving, yanking off his suit jacket and fiercely ripping open buttons on his shirt, you couldn’t get a good look.

Was it a bruise? A tattoo?

Somehow you doubted kings were even allowed to have tattoos. Or that Steve even had the time to get himself permanently inked. When the hell did he get that bruise?

Momentarily distracted by him climbing up on the bed, you looked up to give your bindings a good hard yank.

No luck.

Steve’s weight was pushing you down. Shoving you into the bed. Pinning you down as you protested, implored and began to plea. Which was exactly what he wanted. After everything you had put him through today? You would beg. You would plead. You would forget all about that video.

“Open your mouth.”

It was an order.

It could be nothing less.

An absolute command that had your lips slowly parting as your eyes widened in surprise at the sudden treatment, this roughness. Steve held his painful erection in hand and pushed his tip to your lips. Pushed the red end of his cock sticky with precum past your lips. Till you were forced to open your mouth wider and wider for him. To take him deeper and deeper into your mouth.

Steve held your gaze and pushed his member in further. Straddling your chest and gripping his headboard in one hand, till it dug into his fingers. While his other hand grabbed your face to hold it tight.

You’d never be able to take all of him. He knew this. You’d never been able to no matter how much you’d tried. But he wanted to see how much he could fit in your mouth tonight.

“Don’t swallow. Don’t let me down again.”

Your mouth was so warm closing around him. Wet. Sacred. It made him want to close his eyes to sink in deep but Steve would not. He would do that soon enough. He would lose himself in your cunt soon enough.

A few small movements from his hips sank his cock deeper into your mouth. Filling your cheeks as you struggled. Until you found a motion of moving up and down his length, running your tongue along his sides. Wetting up his shaft till sloppy noises started to fill his ears and a small little dribble began to moisten the corners of your mouth.

Those blue eyes remained set on your own. Never once showing you mercy.

“Tomorrow. In the future. If I call or text, you will answer.”

There was no follow-up. Nor was it a question.

Long fingers that belonged on an artist or musician sank into your hair tightly.

All you could do was nod as drool rolled down your chin and you suckled his cock like you would a popsicle, without swallowing, sucking on his sensitive flesh as he liked and without the aid of your own hands to steady his member.

It was glorious and Steve could only slightly appreciate it. As the words that fell from his mouth were more important, more vital.

Feeling how wet your mouth was getting was fantastic. Absolutely. Your nimble tongue was a gift. No one had ever sucked his cock like you.

However…he was still frustrated, still angry, still hurt even.

He’d not worked his way through those feelings as of yet.

Perhaps? In your body?

Those feelings teased and taunted him with his unworthiness. Of how you hadn’t been firmer with your roommate. How you had allowed her to drag you down the stairs for a night out with possibly another man? It infuriated him. It sent his hips rocking into your mouth. It had his cock rubbing up along the back of your throat and made your eyes water.

No.

Steve would not lose you. He loved you too much to even entertain such a notion. No. Infact, he would make sure that he ruined you. By the end of the night, he would make certain that you’d never even amused the notion of being set up. He would be completely sure that when you left his chambers come morning, you would never be doubted when you told Wanda or anyone that you had a partner.

“I want to start publicly courting you. I want to be engaged this year. I do not want to hide any longer. When people look at you, I want them to know that you belong to me.”

Noises came around his cock that Steve knew were words and he did not care.

“Look at yourself.” Steve stilled, his words harsh, bitter even. “You have my cock in your mouth and I am completely at your mercy. Tied to the bed of kings because I cannot go one night without dreaming of you, fantasizing about your tight cunt and smooth skin. I would give you the world and all you want is nothing. You are the worst type of infuriating.”

As if to prove his point, he steadily pumped his pelvis up into your mouth. Each slide in pushed saliva and pre-ejaculate out, making it ooze from the seal of your lips around his erection. Against your throat his wet balls bounced. His ass rested on your chest and he could not get enough. More. He wanted more. He needed more. Craved more.

The urge to go harder was strong.

Steve wanted so badly to fuck you. To make you feel how much you drove him mad. How you caused him physical pain from longing alone.

With drool smeared down your chin and neck, never looking more beautiful in his opinion, Steve pulled his dick out. Done with your mouth for now. Needing more. Needing to grab your tits and to be closer to your face, looking closer into your eyes.

In a familiar sort of way, your throat bobbed.

“Did you just swallow when I specifically told you not to?”

A moment of hesitation followed from you that had Steve gripping your face, easing his body down yours but holding your slippery chin tight in his grip. Your eyes were wide. Again, probably without even realizing, you swallowed in nervousness.

“I’m…I’m sorry…”

“I’m sorry what,” he demanded, leaning down closer, licking the wetness from your chin and earning from you a most satisfying shiver that wracked your body.

“S-s-sorry, Your Majesty.”

His tongue was hot and wet on your chin. His body was heavy and hot on your own. Skin on skin contact made your brain short circuit. It was a miracle you could string those syllables together. With your hands bound so snugly to the bed. All you could do was take it. Take what he gave you.

Feeling him push your thighs open and position himself between your hips made you gasp. Words failed you.

And then words didn’t even matter because he was pushing into you. Claiming you. Taking what was his because you did belong to him. You belonged to him in every possible way.

A scream exploded out of you when he dove right in. Sank in till his crown was pressed up against the wall of your cervix. Deeper than anyone had ever been before. Hands were grabbing your ankles and spreading you wide. Spearing you on his cock. Stretching your body taut.

“So wet. You were made to take me. Made to take your king.” He whispered more to himself even though you heard. You would have heard a pin drop. You could hear your heart pound and blood rush through your ears, each gasp your lungs took. You could feel every last inch of him deep inside your core. Painfully stretching you open like this. Burning. Tingling. Twisting.

Hands tightened on your ankles till you looked up at Steve. Hovering over you like a pillaging warlord about to ravish his prize.

“You have till Monday to decide how you wish us to become public. I will not wait a day longer.”

Seeing you like this before him. Splayed out. Your pussy curled around his member, plump from being filled with your breasts round puddles up on your chest. It set his hips into a frenzy. Powerful thrusts were sent into your tight walls that made Steve grunt every time from the power behind his motions, from the sight of his cock vanishing up into you. Watching your pussy take him so hungrily as you cried out beneath him each time. Breasts swaying. Skin slapping on skin with the contact. Your hips jiggled, his headboard creaked, his balls slapped soundly against you both.

“Say it. Say the words to me. Say them!” Steve commanded you. Pieces of his hair falling and sticking to his sweaty forehead as he sank in to the very depths of you then pulled out, revealing a glistening shaft before slamming his member right back in where it belonged.

“Yes…yes…yes…yes…” you chanted, over and over, again and again with every thrust in, every withdraw that was like heaven and hell, your body needing him to complete this circuit only the two of you could create. “…yes…yes…my king…yes my king…”

Those words. They were a song to his ears and had your ankles slapped together. Those words had the backs of your thighs slapped wetly against his chest, your feet touching his shoulder as Steve continued to pound into you.

Pumping into your now closed thighs, into your tighter walls at this angle.

“Look!”

Dimly your eyes fluttered, you looked into his burning blue eyes.

“Look. Here.”

You followed his gaze to where he pointed, looking down at his pelvis, where his hip met his abdomen in that hard cut of muscle that was visible above his beltline. The one you loved to lick.

He did have a tattoo.

It took you a second to realize what you were looking at and focus, as his thrusts continued without mercy, pounding away, slamming into you without mercy. Shaking and pushing you into his bed.

Your writing was inked into his skin. Your very own signature.

Your name was forever scrawled into Steve’s skin and then, it hit you. Your climax took you by complete surprise. Your entire body went stiff. A pained noise came from you and you shattered all around his cock. Fingernails dug into your palm and you stared at your name in cruel ecstasy.

Steve fell too. You could tell from his thrusts getting wild, falling out of sync. You could tell because he swore out, clenched his face and held your thighs tight to his chest.

Pumping deeply into you while your body milked him for everything he had to give.

Making him merely a man in that moment with you.

Up on his headboard, you were tightly secured and would soon have bruises from arching up against the silk tie restraining you. Unable to do anything but feel and accept what your king was giving you. On your back. In a bed that past kings had slept in.

None of which was lost on you.

Not as your body felt leaden, filled with molten hot lava. Limp. Your secret garden continued to suck him in, clench around him and spasm, making your eyes roll up in your head, your body dig into his bed and words fall from your mouth.

In a most dignified sort of manner, your king humped into your body like a jack rabbit, chasing the last vestiges of his climax with coral wet lips and dark honey hair now damp with sweat.

A sight for your satiated eyes.

“Let me call my mother in the morning.” You breathed out slowly, as if figuring out how your lungs worked once more after a marathon. Your words making Steve still above you. Though your cunt did not. It twitched around his royal girth and you met his gaze from on his pillows. “Tomorrow you can have Maria release a statement saying whatever you want. Just let me tell my parents myself. They should hear from me that I’m not coming home.”

Whatever wind that may have held up his sails had clearly been withdrawn.

Almost tenderly now, Steve leaned forward to quickly loosen the silk around your wrists and free your hands from his headboard. Stretching out his long powerful body above you. Flushed red now. Glistening. Though he left his tie there. He remained inside of you too. Filling you and stretching you full.

Gently, he pushed your legs down until they wrapped around him and he was able to rest his weight most carefully on top of you. Pressing wet kisses to your nose, your cheeks and chin. Worshipping your face with delicate touches and caresses.

“I’ll fly them out here whenever you want. When we get back from Switzerland, I’ll have them waiting for you.”

Softly you answered, reveling in his softness now that your body had been given her reward, her treat, her pleasure from his roughness. Smelling the musk of his sweat and feeling the wet glide between your bodies.

Leisurely, your hands found their way up his muscular arms to his shoulders. “You know what I mean. I won’t ever be their daughter again. I won’t ever be Wanda’s roommate. I’ll have to quit my job. Nothing will ever be the same.”

Those words, well, they settled uncomfortably in him.

All of them were true.

You would be giving up so much. He would have to make sure to take care of you even more so, keep a closer eye on you. He would need to have a talk with his mother come morning.

“That’s true,” Steve softly conceded, rubbing his nose along your own. Barely grazing his lips over yours. A hint of a tongue touched you before his breath danced over your mouth. “We would be together though. Finally together. You. Me. Not hiding anymore.”

Speaking of hiding.

That word alone had you pulling away from his mouth to lean to the side, to get a look down at his Adonis belt. At the alluring groove that led down to his pubes where your name was now in black.

Nay, your signature.

As if sensing what you were after, your boyfriend tilted up a smidge. Enough for you to see but not enough for him to leave your body. Pray tell that couldn’t happen.

“When did you do this?”

“Do you like it,” Steve asked, as if your opinion mattered. Which was laughable considering how permanent it was.

He’d literally took your signature and had it tattooed on his body.

“Of course I love it. Now you have a part of me on you all the time.” An incredibly modern take on Steve’s royal jewel gift thing, but in reverse you thought. Then grinned as it sank in. “I can’t believe you did it though.”

Why wouldn’t he have done it?

Steve hadn’t thought twice when Maria had gone on about getting her late mother’s writing tattooed on her side, in a lasting forever tribute. Having your writing on him at all times had been an idea that hadn’t left him. Not until he’d had a tattoo artist praised for their work brought to the palace late the other night.

He wasn’t even going to lie, king or not, there was something downright satisfying about having something like this hidden on his body from all. Known only by you and him. A secret only for you two.

Bringing him right back to the thought that the biggest secret the two of you shared would soon be out.

Soon it would be public knowledge and that had Steve brushing his fingertips over your cheeks, kissing the swell of your cheekbone and moving ever just so to make a small moan come from you. “You’ll never regret this. I’ll love you for the rest of my life. I’ll devote myself to making you happy. You’ll never regret becoming my queen.”

#steve rogers x reader #chris evans x reader #steve x reader #captain america x reader #steve rogers x you #marvel x reader #avengers x reader #chris evans x you #chris evans x y/n #king!steve x reader #king!steve rogers x reader #king!steve rogers

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tickle-bugs · 3 years ago

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I had two people ask for some advice on starting up/running a blog, so I thought I’d make a little post for anyone else looking for advice! There’s no one right way to run a blog and I am by no means an expert. This is just a compilation of some of the things I’ve learned :)

Feel free to add advice to this!

- The first thing is something I cannot stress enough. Write for yourself first. You will be absolutely miserable if you’re only writing for attention. I’m not saying it’s easy, but it’s so incredibly important. If you don’t like a prompt, fandom, or scenario? You don’t have to write for it! A personal example: I’m a theatre kid and total musical nerd. I could probably write some compelling Dear Evan Hansen or Hamilton headcanons if I wanted to, but I don’t. That’s fine! I’m allowed to say I won’t write for it and deny prompts/requests for those fandoms.

- Set boundaries. This is a very mixed community with all sorts of creators and participants with hands in different baskets. Don’t want minors to interact? Put minors DNI in your bio. SFW only? Put it in the bio. No RP? Bio. This goes for private conversations/askbox/other interactions as well. If someone comes into your askbox/dms and says something that makes you uncomfy, shut it down.

- My advice is more geared towards writing than art or video, but I suppose you could apply this advice as well. Make what makes you happy! If you’re only in one fandom, feel free to stay there and make content for it. Multi-fandom? Excellent! Completely non-fandom? Epic! Make the content that you want to see and the content that makes you happy to create, especially if you’re in a more niche fandom/area.

- Organization. ...I’ll admit this one is more of a personal pet peeve than something urgent, but it is something that people positively respond to. If you have some sort of consistency/organization to your blog, it’ll make it easier and more enjoyable for people to navigate. Make a fandom list/indicate your fandoms somehow (mostly for prompt purposes. people can’t read your mind, so it’s important to tell them what you will write for and what you won’t, however you want to do that)!

Make a masterpost/link your fic tag! Use a fic tag of some kind. Give your fics summaries and leave a little bit of the fic above the ‘read more’ to intrigue folks (look at #my fics and my masterpost for basic examples of how I do this, if you need!). Use read mores. Please use read mores (if you can, idk if they’re on mobile. regardless no one wants to encounter a three thousand word block of text on their dash). (No seriously though, organize your blog, even if it’s super simple. literally just a ‘mine’ or ‘my fics’ or ‘[pseud] writes’ and a fandom tag. It’ll make it easier for people to find your stuff and support you)

- Practice general internetiquette. Please remember that the people in this community are real people with feelings, boundaries, and lives outside of the blog that they run. Be genuine and people will respond to you! Don’t manipulate people into likes/reblogs/attention. No one wants to be on the other end of that. Being in this community isn’t a transaction or a mosh pit, it’s an experience.

- Be ever-so-liberal with the block button. Someone’s user makes you uncomfortable? They give you bad vibes? They’re a minor/older than you and you don’t want them interacting with your content? You don’t wanna see their blog for some reason? Block em. This goes for anons too. That’s what the button is for. Don’t feel guilty for using it. Use it.

- How you write is 100% a personal choice and not really something that I can give advice on, but embrace your style! take prompts if you want, or don’t. Write oneshots, series, drabbles, or novels. Write romantic, or don’t. Etc. Change things up if you feel like it. Do what you want. Your blog, your style, your rules.

- Numbers matter. Don’t let them define you. This is a bit of a harder one to explain, but I will try. I often say that I don’t care about numbers, and I really don’t, but that’s not to say that I don’t see them and they have zero effect on me. I absolutely notice and am bummed if a fic doesn’t get notes, or at least the notes that I was expecting. That is entirely normal and okay to experience. What isn’t okay, though, is creating for the sake of getting notes/numbers/attention (re: write for yourself first, internetiquette). If you find yourself relying on tumblr for gratification and a reward, I implore you to take a break. I’m not your therapist or your parent, I’m not gonna tell you what to do, but when you make things only for the sake of notes, people notice. Celebrate your milestones. Know that it’s okay to be bummed about low notes/celebrate getting plenty. Just make sure that you don’t depend on the numbers for your happiness, or you will be miserable.

- You’re (probably) doing this for free. You are providing people content: a service. Produce as much or as little as you’re comfy with, but always remember that. No one is entitled to what you make. If someone asks you for headcanons, sends a prompt when prompts are closed, etc, and you don’t feel like fulfilling it? You have no obligation to do that. Getting commissioned is another story entirely, but as long as you’re making free content, you have zero obligation to do anything for anyone and certainly no time constraints. It can take me months to finish prompts, and that’s okay. I do them when I do them and I fill them how I want to. If my prompts are closed, I deny new ones until I’m ready to accept them. Make yourself happy first.

- How you interact with others is up to you! It’s generally considered good practice to like/reblog your mutuals fics/art, but this is not necessarily a hard and fast rule. I veeeeeery rarely reblog fics for fandoms that I’m not in, even from my mutuals. What you can do to show your support (and you should try and show support somehow. No one is in competition. Everyone’s in your boat, whether they have no followers or 1k) is send an ask/reply to the post/leave tags to let the author know you liked it. Like the fic and don’t reblog it, if you don’t want to. Just make sure you show your mutuals (and others in general!) roughly the same support they show you, however you decide to do that. Treat others how you want to be treated, as cheesy as it sounds :)

- Don’t repost content that isn’t yours without express permission from the original creator, and credit them appropriately. If you see a cute piece of tickle art and the artist doesn’t want it reposted? Don’t repost it. Don’t post fics/videos/gifs that aren’t yours (obviously if it’s like a scene from a movie/a clip on youtube that’s different, but don’t take credit for things you didn’t make, including ideas). Can’t tell you how frustrating it is to have work stolen from you. Don’t be that person. ‘Credit to original artist’ and ‘credit unknown’ is total bullshit btw. Link/tag the creator in the original post and make it clear you don’t own the content. Best practice is to ask the original creator if they’re okay with reposting, work inspired by or connected to theirs, etc. This goes doubly for saving/downloading someone’s fics.

- It is not illegal for a minor to have normal, nonsexual, healthy friendships with people older than them. There’s a weird attitude that minors have nothing of value to offer adults besides a relationship/sex, which is...not true? Minors are thinking, living human beings with feelings, thoughts, and opinions. You can talk to them like normal people, because they are. Just obviously don’t talk about/introduce sex or endanger them. Minors don’t bring up sex/activities you’re underage for with an adult. IDK this isn’t a seminar just...don’t be weird. Adults can offer great life experience, support systems, and the basic joys and needs of human connection. Minors can too. Mind your business unless someone’s actually in danger. The next point is a caveat, though:

- If you’re a minor, don’t interact with NSFW blogs/blogs with ‘Minors DNI’, NSFW blogs don’t interact with minors, etc etc. Not your parent or whatever but this is pretty common sense and it’s for everyone’s safety, but especially the NSFW person. internettiquette!

- If you use your TK blog as a side blog (meaning you have another blog as your main blog, not two separate accounts) and don’t want your main exposed, that is up to you. I recommend not liking posts. Also, follow people that you trust. These actions route through your main blog and your main will show up in the notes. You can reblog from a sideblog. If you want to send an ask “as your tk blog”, send an anon and sign it somehow, like ‘hey :) // @/tickle-bugs’. It should tag you in the post so you get a notification when it’s answered!

- Find your people! As an anxious person this one has been hard for me, so I know it’s hard for a lot of people. Fandom is literally a community of shared interest. Peachy and I have an iron bond almost two years later and we met talking over shared interests. You can absolutely find your people here. If someone makes you happy, strike up a conversation! Send an ask! You never know what doors it might open or whose day you might improve :)

- If you were an anon/lurker on someone’s blog and they inspired you to write/submit/start your own, sign your messages!! the common form that I see is either an emoji or [noun/context of the ask]!anon (prodigal!anon (i miss u every day), butterfly!anon, etc.) Let us know how to find and support you!! Those messages produce good brain juice.

- The big finale: Have fun. If you’re not having fun here, maybe you could tweak something to make things enjoyable. Running a blog is like driving a car. Keep your hands on the wheel, respectfully indicate your intentions (flashing lights optional), and be safe. Poebody’s nerfect, y’know. If you make a mistake, course correct. I’m by no means perfect. Your favs aren’t either. Just do your best and have a good time :)

@rosytickles and the anon in my inbox, I hope this helps! Thank you for asking me, I’m very honored that you value my opinon/experience/advice. I apologize if I come off as preachy or aggressive, I envisioned grabbing my younger self by the lapels and shaking me vigorously while I wrote this. Probably a bad idea.

Anywho, hope it helps. Anyone with questions, additions, or comments, my askbox is open! Just be constructive, is all I ask.

#bug speaks #advice tag #sorry again if this sounds preachy or aggressive at any point i literally wrote it like i was grabbing younger me by the lapels #these are all things i learned through experience/observation i promise im not talking out of my ass here #the largest obstacle to maintaining a blog is how you view your happiness in relation to it. talked about it above but yeah.#also like i said: not a professional and not your parent. just giving friendly advice sine i was directly asked for it.#might add more to this if I think of more #my askbox and dms are open for questions/comments/additions just pls be respectful and constructive #other tfb community members feel free to add to this!

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lowkeyorloki · 4 years ago

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quick and random q for no reason at all other than my own interest :) what's your opinion on 'separating the art from the artist'? (like should they be separated in your opinion)

Hi anon! Thanks for the ask, I love discussion and discourse. You’re welcome to approach me for my opinion on anything - the only reason I’d refrain from answering would be if I felt like I didn’t have enough information on the subject to give an appropriate response. I’m a HUGE proponent of differing opinions and conversation.

Also, just because we delve into morals a bit here, I’m an Ethics minor. It feels relevant to say that.

Ultimately, I think it depends on what the art (or media) is. I used to see this as a very black and white issue, but as I’ve gotten older and become a little less extreme in all my beliefs, I’ve realized this is something that resides in the gray area (like most issues).

Basically, if there’s a way to consume the media in an educational way, I think that’s worth pursuing. For example, I HATE the book 1984 by George Orwell. I think the writing style is tedious, I think Orwell had a superiority complex, and I think the portrayal of Winston’s treatment of women is absolutely abhorrent (mostly because Winston is supposed to be the good guy, and his views towards women is never said to be a bad thing). I used to think because of that last reason, the book shouldn’t be taught in schools.

Now, I would absolutely support swapping the book out for a novel written by a woman or POC, but that’s not what this conversation is about. When I really started to analyze the text, I realized that going over Winston’s behavior with a class and explaining why what he did/thought was wrong would be hugely beneficial. It would teach young boys not to internalize sexism like Winston does, and it would lay the foundation for them to see, recognize, and address shitty behavior. Furthermore, then the lesson of censorship of 1984, which is a super important one, isn’t completely wiped away and rendered useless. In my mind, there’s two lessons being taught this way.

It gets a bit different when 1) we aren’t taught about the media, ie, the audience is given no guidance, and 2) the creator of said media isn’t dead. A lot of times, for me personally, the deciding factor of whether I’m going to keep consuming something comes down to if the creator/art is problematic or morally corrupt. Because morality is subjective, it’s hard for me to defend that point. What you find problematic I might find to be an actual bad thing, and vice versa.

But let’s talk about things within the context of the Loki fandom, because this is a Loki blog. It’s no secret that as a general statement, reader insert fics are written for a very specific audience, and more often than not, authors end up alienating POC readers for adding descriptions of y/n’s “pale skin” or “blushing cheeks” etc. etc.

There have been a lot of Loki authors who have had readers kindly approach them saying, “Hey, this detail makes it really hard for me to see myself in the fic. Would you mind taking it out?” And so far, I have only seen authors react defensively. They’ll launch into a speech about how what they create is free, how they ask for feedback that’s constructive, and overall create a victim mentality. Now, those points are valid, but only if you’re getting HATE. Hate and genuine feedback are very different things, and I’ve never seen any author get hate in this situation that we’re currently talking about.

In cases like this, I unfollow these authors and I never like or reblog their fics again. I could absolutely continue to consume their writing: it’s not like those descriptions are going to appear in every single fic they ever write, and I’m also not directly impacted by this issue (I just have. You know. Empathy). However, I will not support someone in any capacity when I observe them belittling and hurting other people for going to them with valid and kindly presented feedback (ESPECIALLY if the group giving constructive feedback is marginalized). If I were to consume those author’s works, if I were to boost their note count in any way, I am telling them the following:

Your behavior is okay.

And I don’t think it is. When I observe people hurting others and refusing to correct their behavior, I’m not going to give them that implicit reassurance that they didn’t do anything wrong.

The crux of the “should we separate the art from the artist” argument for me is that we usually (usually) should NOT separate the two because in some way, the artist benefits from your consumption. And if what they have done is genuinely harming people, they have to be held accountable. More often than not, the only way to do that is limit your consumption so there is an impact on their (job, hobby, morals, mindset, etc. etc.).

Of course, I always support and encourage talking to the artist first in some way. It’s when they reject help and education I think it’s time to stop supporting them.

Let me know what you think of my answer, and anyone else is free to weigh in as well :)

#ask #this is SPICY #hot take #yeah basically it's situational #how much outreach has been done? is the artist trying to educate or correct themselves?#you know #loki fandom #loki imagine #loki x reader

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bills-blog-now · 5 years ago

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I’m not entirely sure what to say other than thank you so very much! ;v;

I want to celebrate you guys, so I'm thinking that I should do an art raffle! I’ve never done one before, but I think I’ve done enough research to figure it out.

I’m planning on giving away character drawings to 5 different random people. What kind of drawing you want is up to you!

I’ll draw your original characters or your favorite tv show/movie/book characters! I suppose I could also draw real-life people or animals, though to be honest, I don’t have much experience in drawing real-life things, mainly just cartoons. But if you want a drawing of some real-life thing then I suppose I can give it my best shot!

Also, I ask that you please provide references. Not having references is not a deal-breaker, but I’d prefer it if I had something to work off of.

I’ll draw a max of 2 characters for each person. Whether you want them to be interacting or not we’ll discuss before I start drawing. Or you can have the same character drawn twice in different positions.

The max image size I’ll do is 1500x1500 pixels.

Things I will not draw: Anything that can potentially hurt somebody (racism, anti-lgbt, incest, pedophilia, etc.), sexual content, backgrounds

I have a right to refuse to draw something for any reason. I will request that you give me something else to draw if that’s the case.

I’ll spend as much time as I need to work on the art. So please do not get impatient if you do not get your art right away. This is mainly to give myself some breathing room so that way I don’t stress myself out and spontaneously combust.

Okay, I hope that those rules make sense. I’ve spent quite a bit of a while considering this and I think that this’ll work.

Now, the important part! How to enter the raffle!

All you have to do is follow me and reblog this post! That’s it!

I’ll be taking the names of the blogs that reblog this post and enter them in an online random picker. I’ll only put your name in once so please don’t spam reblog this post. That won’t help you win.

On the 25th I’ll make a separate post announcing the winners! I’ll send a message to your blog asking for what you want me to draw. If you don’t contact me within a week of the announcement I’ll pick somebody else to take your place.

Thank you again for following me! I love each and every one of you!

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korrasera · 5 years ago

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The post you rb'd about how cis people are determined to be the victims when trans people come out was really good and I agreed with it, but the guy who made it is an ace exclusionist. I'm on anon because I know for a fact if I weren't I'd come back to an inbox full of awfulness but...what am I even supposed to do when there are posts relevant to parts of my identity that come from people who hate another part of me? I'm so tired of people saying they want to know if a post comes from (1/2)

someone bigoted and then my dash is covered with these people anyway. I don't want the answer to be "you should be less vigilant" because I don't want to spread people's names and posts all over this site when they're hateful asses. I just wondered if maybe you had thoughts. Where's the line between separating an artist from their art (so to speak) and enabling bigots? (2/2)

Thank you for pointing it out, I hadn’t seen baku’s stuff before and I didn’t get the feeling he was an exclusionist at first. I did some checking. His blog has several why would you involve me in ace discourse?’ posts, but he’s also made some fairly exclusionary posts in the past, so I’m honestly not sure how that balances out in the end. Maybe he’s bigoted, maybe he’s just...idk, lazy in his attitude about ace people.

IE, not anywhere near as toxic as most people I see with exclusionist attitudes, but also still enough to make me delete that post because I’m just not going to reblog from people with those attitudes if I can help it.

To get to your question though, it’s hard to draw that line. There are people you will find that will always be so terrible that they’re obvious, but you will also have people who don’t seem to be that bad...until they share a meme or an insult or some other kind of attack against a marginalized person.

The first thing to remember is that prejudice comes to us easily. It’s not hard to be prejudiced against people. That’s one of the reasons that I will listen when someone apologizes for fucking up, because we all need a way to come back in from the cold.

Drawing the line comes down to deciding what level of discomfort and prejudice requires your action. Everyone is going to be problematic at some point because there’s no way to avoid offending people forever, but there’s a difference between ‘was an asshole a few times’ and ‘takes up with exclusionists and TERFs’.

For me? With how virulent and destructive bigotry is in the LGBTQ+ community, I have a pretty hardline zero tolerance policy for exclusionists, TERFs, and transmeds. I’m not going to give them a platform for any post they write, whether or not it’s advocating their particular form of bigotry. I will keep the door open in case someone tries to leave that bigotry behind, but if someone enjoys sharing that kind of content then I don’t need to help them spread anything.

And remember, if someone has something good to say but you don’t want to give them a platform? There’s nothing wrong with taking that one scrap of good and trying to put it out into the world yourself, in your own way.

#exclusionism #bigotry #Anonymous

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juvellita · 6 years ago

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messy kbtbb character analysis

So… Let me just say that this is going to be LONG and MESSY post. I will try my best to make an analysis of all Kbtbb characters. Eisuke’s might be the longest, just because know about him more than any other bidders. This is more geared towards to those people who still have negative misconception about KBTBB. I get it. Their season 1 prologue did not give the best impression of those guys. I want to give you an insight of characters’ past, and why they are the way they were when MC first met them. PLEASE feel free to express your thoughts/ add on the comment section/reblogging! Let me know of what I am missing from character. I want to hear your analysis of characters too.

MORE UNDER

First things first. Let’s jog back to season 1. I know MANY people did not like this game in the beginning because how it hinted on human trafficking. Let me clear this out first; when Eisuke and other bidders created the auction, they made a rule of not selling any human in an auction, unless they are willing to be sold. This is mentioned in Episode 0: The Promise substory.

That’s not all though. Bidders approached mc in almost..inhuman manner. They treated her as a weird creature that they have never seen before. Why do you ask? All bidders have some sort tragic/traumatic past that cannot be easily cured. I have mentioned this briefly in my “short bidder’s complexity summary” post, but every single one of them has a reason why they cannot trust anyone that easily. Let’s look at each character in depth.

Let’s start with Ota and Eisuke, since these two characters were the MOST controversial characters when they were first released ( I apologize in advance if I miss anything for Ota. I have played his route every now and then, but I never actually read all his stories). WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD if you haven’t read any of their stories yet. Also… ALOT OF FAWNING UNDER EISUKE’S

First, Ota Kisaki (The Angelic Artist).

Essential Question: Why does he treat MC like a pet at first?

He was an unique artist ever since when he was little. No one acknowledged his art, except this guy named Doi (I believe), who was an artist. He keeps encouraging Ota to continue with his art, regardless of how others thought his art was so weird. This kind of event makes Ota ABSOLUTELY trust in Doi. He was the only one who supported his art preferences. Why is there reason not to trust him? Until… Doi plagiarized Ota’s work, and claim it as his own. At that time Doi was much of bigger artist than Ota, so Ota didn’t have any power to fight back that it was a lie. This.. made tragic mark on him. He refuses to trust anyone. I mean, it’s arguable right? Doi WAS the only one he trusted (before MC came into his life of course). He then creates this facade of “Angelic Artist”. It was his way of separating between the real him and the expectations from the others. That way, he wouldn’t have to go through the pain he went through again. When he first met MC, he called her ‘Koro’. The name ‘Koro’ was a way for him to put a distance with MC, since he refused to trust anyone after his most trusted companion betrayed him. A lot of people argue that how he treated MC like a pet was inhumane. I understand this also, because trust me… I was one of those people. However, the main purpose for calling her ‘Koro’ wasn’t to treat her like a pet. He was simply..afraid of getting close to another person and being hurt again. Koro starts out as a way to put boundary between MC and Ota. As the season continues, it becomes affectionate nickname for MC.

Eisuke Ichinomiya.

Essential Question: Why is he inhumanly cold?

Oh man, You all know how much I LOVE Eisuke (I mean.. Just look at my shet spam on my blog). I will try my best not to only fawn over him in the duration of this post.

Where do I even begin with Eisuke? I mean, I think his first description was “Cold-hearted billionaire”. He probably went through A LOT during his career. But If you still think he is cold-hearted, please look at all my screenshot spams. At least to Mc, he turns squishy marshmellow. When MC gives him that puppy dog eyes or when she smiles at him with uncontrollable happiness, there is NO way this man can say no to her.

In his Childhood Promise Substory, Eisuke only wanted power to save and protect ones he cared about and himself. He might come off as only selfish person in the beginning, but as story progresses on, you will know that is not true. He has difficult time expressing things in words.

Let’s first look at his family background. “Ichinomiya” isn’t his actual biological name. When he was young, his family went bankrupt. His father disappeared (Eisuke finds him again in season 5), and shortly after his mother’s health got worse and passed away. He got separated from his little sister (who he finds again in his s1 sequel), and Akira Ichinomiya adopts Eisuke, who was good friend of his biological father. Before meeting MC, everyone who approached him, only approached him for his power and money. Up until his S1 epilogue, he used to have a groupies, who were obsessed with Eisuke. When he sees them shet talking about MC, he threatens them he will ban them if they keep on creating a scene in his hotel (and we never see them again after that). Anyways, back to my point. These groupies only loved Eisuke for his money, power, and looks. Did they know a single thing about Eisuke? I doubt it. He only kept them around because he needed someone to numb his loneliness(numbing doesn’t solve any problem. He knew this, but regardless, he needed someone.). But beneath that cold facade, he was an absolutely lonely person. No one really loved him for he was. He was craving for genuine love, but no one gave that to him.. He have gave up on the idea of getting that love..Until Mc came to his life. MC was the only one who was able to see through Eisuke, and realize he is lonely. She never approached him for his power or money, and he realizes that her actions and thoughts toward him are genuine. (Seriously… read his pov if you have not, because they are the VERY reason why I LOVE Eisuke so much.) But he sometimes have wonders about what love is, since he was never used to being loved so genuinely by someone. In his season 3, he has doubts that his adoptive father actually loved him. Everyone around him only saw him as a man ‘capable’ of handling business. However, when he confronts Akira about it, he says that he wanted Eisuke to understand family love. He also claims how he is happy that Eisuke has finally found someone who can love him unconditionally (referring to MC). Then throughout multiple s3 substories (such as his bday story, under his protection, etc ...), you can see how the definition of ‘love’ changed for him. At first, he thought it was unnecessary thing (meaningless to say aloud). However as him and mc gets close in relationship, he notices expressing love for someone you love is important (hint s5). We also see that he is emotionally unstable. Mc is his big emotion supporter. You can see his emotion breaking through BIG TIME when MC gets in life or death danger (refer to my Desperate moment post if you haven’t already).

I want to also bring this to light: Eisuke has so many enemies. I don’t know what stuff he really did, but I can say some are just falsely created by some influential being. If you ever played Eisuke’s s2, do you remember how Shuichi and Hikaru approached Eisuke? Hikaru was assigned to assassinate Eisuke, believing that he was the one who killed his parents. Same goes for Shuichi. He at first believed that Eisuke was behind everything that happened to his family. However, after s2, they somehow realize that that is not the case. Some mastermind was controlling them to get rid of Eisuke. This still reminds mystery. I really hope they cover this in his s6 or s6.5.

A lot of thing that I mentioned for Eisuke, I have already mentioned through my screenshot posts, or other bloggers have said it already. It might sound repetitive, but I cannot enforce enough, how much mc means to Eisuke. She is basically his life, one existence that will drive him insane if MC is in trouble in any way (but then again, Eisuke is so extra sometimes LOL). He will literally do ANYTHING to make happy. Mc isn’t a selfish person, so this won’t EVER happen but, in theory ( I DID SAY IN THEORY, SO DON’T FREAK OUT), if she ever wanted someone to disappear because they have hurted her ever since she was little, Eisuke will not hesitate to make that come true (actually he will do it before she even mentions it). He believes that anyone who makes mc sad should not exist (at least not close to them). I mean… he even says this to his own son LOL. He will not hesitate to keep mc in his penthouse all day if he feels like she is in danger. Only reason why he doesn’t do this much anymore is because he knows how much mc doesn’t like that . This is where yandere eisuke came from because of how he is sometimes abnormally OBSESSED with MC. I mean...installing security cameras all around his hotel JUST for MC’s safety (and to check on her ...for his benefit). This just proves how all sense of his ‘logic’ flies out of window when it comes to MC. He perhaps might not know the ‘normal’ way to express his love, but he tries his best to show MC that he loves her. And mc knows this.

Any ways… I am gonna end my Eisuke post here… if I continue I will end up fawning more over him. SORRY I WAS SUPPOSED TO ANALYZE. I ENDED UP FAWNING

Baba Mitsunari

Essential Question: Why is he known as ‘playboy’?

There are many theories that this man has depression, which I honestly can see why. He is the nicest bidder in everyone’s route. He usually says hi to MC first when she comes in the penthouse, and cheers her up when she is seriously feeling down. He is quick to lend a hand when any of bidders are in trouble. His man has a tragedy… of not being able to truly love anyone, because he is scared that his ‘thief’ title will hurt the one he loves. He also wants to be loved like Eisuke and Ota, and give love, but he is SCARED. Unlike Eisuke or Ota though, Baba has tendency to deprecating himself. He once genuinely fell in love with this girl named Cynthia. However, he decides to leave her because he was scared that he would hurt her because of his career as a thief.

I have said it once, but I honestly think Baba is underestimated as a character. If I look at him closely enough, he probably is saddest character in KBTBB. Sad i mean…only one who probably realizes that he is sad. Other bidders are too prideful or disinterested in emotional feelings before mc comes in. Baba is probably the only character who is fully aware of what he is feeling even before mc coming into his life. I do not know much about Baba, but I can tell this much from observing him in Eisuke’s route. He only became known as ‘playboy’ because he knew he wasn’t able to stick to one woman without hurting them. Instead, he tries to numb his depression by having a lot of women around him, which obviously doesnt work.

Mamoru Kishi

Essential Question: Why is he so darn lazy?

You might not believe it but he used to be very passionate about his career. He had a investigation partner named Minami. However, one day, for some mysterious reason he died. Mamoru has made several attempts and proposals to solve the mystery of his death, but interpol has rejected his idea every time he proposed it. They all thought it was unnecessary to reveal that case was closed (in his route, we figure out Aida was behind all this). From that point on, he realizes how crooked and ‘good for nothing’ his job is, and he loses all motivation to work hard. I have never played his route so I cannot say much about him. But he is very skilled detective/policeman. He may not seem like it, but the way he gets Eisuke all those confidential information about interloper… i mean, I don’t think normal policeman can do that! In Eisuke’s season 5, Eisuke worries about Mamoru’s job in danger if he went such length to help him. But he assures him that it is fine since he is known as ‘slacker’ and so no one cares about him. He would go full length to uncover the truth once he sets his eyes on something.

Soryu Oh

Essential Question: Why is he allergic to women?

I mean… mainly because of his mafia title. Just like baba, he doesn’t think he deserves ordinary happiness nor could ever get one because of his career. Most times, his job is life or death matter. He has strong sense of what is ethical and what is not. He would hate to put anyone in danger because of him. Beneath that cold exterior, he is probably most normal person amongst the bidder. He is also the one who is (personality wise) close to describing mc. When he meets mc, and sees her devotion to stick something that she set her mind on, he falls for her.

I also think one main reason why he hated women is because how they were ‘used’ to secure his life. In one of Eisuke’s substory, Soryu mentions that he lost his virgin because it was ‘life or death’ matter. Although it is clearly not addressed, there might be some unspoken reason why he used not like women.

FYI... I typed this out on word doc first... it turned out to be 5 pages...

#eisuke ichinomiya #soryu oh #kbtbb #kissed by the baddest bidder #baba mitsunari #ota kisaki #mamoru kishi #hikaru aihara #shuichi hishikura

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natsspammityspamspamham · 5 years ago

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1. Who’s your celebrity crush?

I don’t have celebrity crushes most of the time. I have people who I think are pretty and people that I admire, but I don’t have any of them that I crush on. Alongside my favourite voice actors (seiyuu), Emma Watson would definitely be up there. There’s something about intelligence that makes a person far more appealing.

2. Are you single or taken?

As single as they come! I haven’t even been in a relationship, and I don’t really have any interests in getting into one!

3. Rant. Just do it.

I’m nervous. I’m doubting. I hate this feeling in me. I feel so out of place, so uncomfortable, and it’s eating me on the inside. I wish I had friends in real life. I really wish I did, but it feels like I’m growing apart from everyone, and I’m pushing them all away because I can’t stand being reminded of my past, and I feel like every step I take is just a desperate attempt to get myself back on track, and I’m trying to be proud of myself. I really am. But I have a hard time acknowledging anything that I do. I never feel like I’m enough. I feel insufficient. I feel like I’m just a statistic. I feel inferior yet superior at the same time. My self-image is warped. I feel like I’m lying to myself and to others. It hurts. It hurts a lot, and I don’t want people to know but I do at the same time. It’s a pain unlike any other, and as much as I can say that I don’t feel lonely, I feel like there should be people in my life that I can call my friends, and I want someone that I can mutually call my best friend without them saying that they are just my “good friend”. I want to know that I mean the upmost to a person without feeling I’m burdening them. I want to be No. 1 at something.

I dream about chasing dreams like becoming a medical professional, but I continue to realize and face my shortcomings that would prove that I’m not really fit for it. I want to do it, but quite frankly, I’m too stupid.

I can’t even articulate what’s truly paining my mind. It’s difficult. I don’t know why my body and mind wants to destroy itself.

But sometimes, I think I fix myself better.

4. Do you think it's okay to separate the artist from the art?

Personally, I’m one of those people who usually say no to this question. Now, if you have weird kinks or like pineapple on pizza, that’s none of my business. I won’t hold it against you. However, I find it hard to separate when things are illegal or morally wrong.

Examples:

Net-juu no Susume was a really heartwarming anime, and it was one of my favourite anime that depicted a wholesome adult romance that unveiled many truths about the real world despite spending its time online, but I would’ve never watched the anime if I would have known that the director was a Holocaust-denier. The rest of the staff? I don’t know, but I felt extremely uncomfortable even reblogging content after I found out.

I was planning on watching Rurouni Kenshin, and to this day, I believe I’m missing out, but I cannot support or condone or even watch a series that has a creator as wretched as Nobuhiro Watsuki. If you don’t know, he was charged in February of 2017 for child pornography. He was fined 200,000 yen. It was a slap on the wrist. Even though Rurouni Kenshin wasn’t a reflection on his person according to fans, I don’t feel keen on watching a show created by such a man.

In regards to actors, this goes for them too. If they are not supportive of the LGBTQ community, if they are racist, if they have committed acts that are cannot be condoned, I wouldn’t want to watch them or anything. Again, I have a hard time keeping track of who’s actually clean in this world, and in Japan, there is a lot of covering up. It was recently revealed that a lot of Madhouse anime that people love were probably made at the expense of animators who are human beings.

5. How many accounts do you have?

I have a few.

@nsisbest385 - my main where I stockpile my music @natsspammityspamspamham - This one where I am really open and reblog everything that I want to reblog (no exceptions; if I don’t even think about it, I just reblog) @natsthinkitythinkthinkthonk - used to be for inspirational stuff/writing, but now it’s mostly seiyuu stuff. I post things for their birthdays. I should’ve made a separate account. @semitranslatedseiyuublog - Where I semi-translate stuff but mostly transfer seiyuu content from Reddit. @awkwardbsd - This account has more followers than all my other accounts combined. It’s for awkward screenshots, memes, and other stuff surrounding the Bungou Stray Dogs universe. @dragontypepropaganda - I didn’t tell anyone this existed until now. I’m generally not on it. I just queue and leave.

6. How many pairs of shoes do you have?

Let’s see... uh... 1 for outside, 1 for exercise, 1 for my house slippers, 3 for orchestra that I never use, 2 dress shoes that I really never use, and I’m supposed to get 1 pair of slippers for outside.

7. Opinion on…

I don’t think I can answer this.

8. How many accounts do you follow?

9. Favourite brand of clothing?

I’ve been wearing more Uniqlo lately, but my wardrobe has a lot of hand-me-downs despite being so sensitive tactile-wise.

10. Name a dog

Atticus (boy) and Haruko (girl)

11. What unusual talent do you have?

I can whistle. I haven’t tried in a while, but I can put my feet behind my head.

12. What’s the most interesting school's gossip you’ve ever heard?

Keep in mind, I was only in school until grade 9-10. One of my PE teachers Ms. Snow had really scary eyes. When she got mad at me (which is pretty frequent considering she didn’t know who I was and kept calling me by other Asian people’s names because “we look the same”), I swear her eyeballs would extend from her sockets a little. They looked like they were about to pop out of her head. My sister said that urban legend states that she once fell down the stairs and both eyeballs popped out. She put them back in and carried on.

13. Ever prank called a store?

I think I almost tried once until I got a scolding or something (wasn’t even my parents).

14. What’s your coffee order?

Don’t have one. I don’t like coffee. I’m generally open to tea.

15. What’s a question do you constantly get asked?

“How are you?” I usually choose the easy route to answer to this question. I just say “good thanks”. You want the truth? I lie to myself.

“Why did you leave school?” It was a living hell. I didn’t feel safe. I was breaking down years ago. School nearly broke me, and if I stayed there any longer, I would’ve died (not an exaggeration).

“What are your hobbies?” I usually just say music and watching cartoons* (anime). They usually ask what else, and I just stare blankly.

16. If you had to get a tattoo right now, what would you get and where?

I wouldn’t want one.

17. Google the top song from the year you were born

Apparently, it’s How You Remind Me by *gasp* Nickelback.

18. Rant about your favourite musician

I seriously wish I was able to go to Sara Bareille’s version of the Waitress. I wish I was able to see it on Broadway. She’s such a talented individual, and she deserves all the attention she gets.

19. What’s your favorite teacher you’ve ever had?

All of my best teachers have been outside of school. I would say that my favourite teachers are my current bass teacher and my taekwondo master who has taught me for over a decade.

20. Describe your blog in 3-5 words

Fando(o)m, ranting, anime, seiyuu, random

21. What’s a conspiracy you believe in?

I believe aliens exist. I don’t think it would be logical to assume that Earth is the only planet that has “intelligent” (I say that very loosely) lifeforms.

“But they don’t have water or oxygen” Bold of you to assume that said aliens would need such a thing. I would think they can adapt like humans and all that. I just think it’s dumb to close ourselves off to believing that there are people other than ourselves that exist in this wide and expanding universe.

22. If you could see any concert tonight what would you choose?

I would really want to see the Waitress. If that doesn’t count, I would want to see some seiyuu singing live. It would depend. Hosoya doesn’t sing much anymore, Maaya Sakamoto has a waitlist longer than my lifespan (I have no luck with lotteries), and Saori Hayami has the same issue. I would want to see Sphere live too, but I don’t know all of their songs.

23. If you could break one of your bad habits which would you choose?

My depression... or my anxiety. Actually, those aren’t habits. I guess the closest I will get is doubting myself and beating myself up.

24. Can you dance? Sing?

A strong no to both.

25. What’s something you can’t stop buying?

Uh… I don’t go out and buy anything. I don’t make money so I don’t buy. However, if I did, I would really want to treat myself to good food and anime stuff.

26. Crowds or small groups?

Small groups... obviously.

27. How long before a trip do you pack?

Depends on where. When it comes to the Philippines, weeks for the Balikbayan boxes and less than a week for my actual clothes (usually pack a ton of clothes because I sweat a lot and “we’re not doing laundry!”)

28. What celebrity would you rate a PERFECT 10?

I feel like I don’t have a good grasp of the culture so I actually can’t say anything about my favourite seiyuu. We don’t even know if that’s their true personality. However, I feel like my perfect 10s are Emma Watson and Robin Williams. They might not be my “crushes”, but they are perfect 10s.

29. What quote or inspirational setting do you think is bs?

“When you hit rock bottom, the only way to go is up!” Nah man, you just don’t know what rock bottom looks like. It’s gonna get worse.

“Don’t fix what isn’t broken!” All because you can’t see what’s wrong with it doesn’t mean it isn’t broken. Yeah, I’m talking about the school system.

“Pain makes you who you are. It makes you stronger.” I can say that my trauma gives me anxiety.

30. If you had to dye your hair an unnatural colour right now, what would you choose?

I go by “Purple Dino” online so I’d have to say dark purple.

31. You can change one thing about your life right now. what are you changing?

I wish I could breathe properly. My allergies make it so hard for me to exist. It affects my breathing, sleep, dental care, and so much more. I think that’s the one physical thing I would change.

32. How old do you get mistaken for?

Apparently, I look like I’m in middle school even though I’m almost a legal adult.

33. What do you think about a lot?

Anime, seiyuu, my own shortcomings.

34. Do you like your Hogwarts house or do you wish you were a different one?

I like Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff. I haven’t done my test in a while.

35. What does home mean to you?

Home is where you live. It’s where the heart lives. It’s where you feel safe, and it’s where you can take off the mask that you live in during the day. It’s the place where I don’t have to lie through my teeth. I can cry, I can laugh, I can scream, and I can finally be me.

36. What do you think you’d be arrested for?

I feel like I would be caught for pirating anime even if I don’t profit off it.

37. Have you ever been called down to the principal's office?

I’ve been there, but I haven’t been called down there because I really wasn’t important in school.

38. Post a picture of the outfit you would choose if you could have any outfit you wanted

Probably a dark coloured hoodie with sweatpants. That’s my default during the winter anyway.

39. Describe your aesthetic

Tired dead eyes with existential dread and depression. That’s how I see myself.

40. Answer with one of your ‘school memes’ (inside jokes you have with your class/grade) with no explanation

I’m not sure how to say this, but I was really not in the “right crowd” at school, and I was never let into any of these things. I can’t answer this, and it pains me just to read this because I’m missing out on so much of my youth and “high school life”.

I’m tagging @caratheillustrious who reblogged the questions!

#ask

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miximax-hell · 6 years ago

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I always tell my friends that they’re capable of anything they put their mind into. But, personally, I should know my limits and act accordingly. And considering how INCREDIBLY long it took me to finish this piece for such a poor result (despite the fact that I was just trying to replicate official art, so I had all the help in the world), well, I would say this was my limit. But, hey, you’ll never know until you try, and all practice is good practice.

That aside, hello! For today’s post, I decided to revisit the concept I started this blog with and work on a bigger illustration. It’s probably my least popular kind of post, but trying to mimic KH’s artstyle is kind of a blast regardless of the result or the struggle.

With Max’s and Kageno’s out of the way, it was about time I worked on Handa’s, since, you know, he’s my favourite character and all. I can be biased here, right?

So, it might be a good time to talk about HanRoku’s reasons to be.

Well, well, well. This is coming at the beginning of April when my last post was on January, and even that was just to celebrate the fact that, somehow, over a hundred people have decided to follow this blog. I’m not even going to pretend I’m way too busy to work on stuff--it’s just been a fantastic combination of things that made me want to... stop. I hit a big wall where the ideas I had were being a tad too difficult to pull off in a satisfying way (I swear to God, Kidou, your hair is impossible to work with), and I was either not in the mood to do anything or more focused on other and, at the time, more fun endeavours. I was super passionate about my graduation thesis, for example--and that went rather well, thankfully.

But, boy, I loved Kingdom Hearts 3. No bad mood or task was going to keep me from sinking hours into that game somewhat regularly. Playing it filled me with immense joy, and seeing Roxas again after so long brought me to tears. It made me think a lot about finally finishing (or trying to finish) this big piece... and it caught me very rusty, which led to hours, hours, hours, HOURS of work for what I have already described as a disappointing result. I mean, it’s not the worst I have ever drawn, but... well. It could definitely be much better, and I’m rather tempted to rework it in the future. I hadn’t touched my tablet in ages and it shows. Nor my pencils. Just my brushes, but that was just to paint doggos and Life Is Strange-inspired landscapes.

And the best part is that the illustration ISN’T EVEN COMPLETE because the rest would actually be a spoiler for a fic of mine called Zero. If you check the official art I linked above, you’ll see that what my illustration shows as a black area is actually filled by a completely separate illustration. I know what I want there, but, as I said, it’d spoil the story, so, yeah. Talk about a work in progress. I hope I can finish it all one day...

Anyway, enough pointless ranting! Thanks for putting up with me. To reward someone who has made it this far without getting tired of me, I’m giving away a Steam copy of Batman: Arkham Origins, along with all of its DLC. If you want it, please shoot me a non-anonymous message~ There is absolutely no need to follow me nor reblog/like this post, although it’d obviously be greatly appreciated. The first to ask for it will get it. And, please, don’t follow me for future giveaways--I doubt there will be any. Now, let’s talk about HanRoku. That’s what you clicked on that "read more" button for.

The beginnings of HanRoku are ancient at this point. We’re talking 2012 or 2013, and that’s INSANE. For how long have I been struggling with this project?! Goodness gracious. Anyway, at the time, Chrono Stone was hitting all of the right notes for me. Time travel? Check. People that transform to become more powerful? Check. Fusions, because I've watched too much DBZ for me to not love that? Check. And one day, for reasons that have been lost to time, but probably have a lot to do with the aforementioned fic, I realised something. Zero was supposed to be a story about how Roxas mingles with Someoka, Handa, Aki and mostly Endou, but then it hit me: Roxas and Handa are actually... extremely similar.

To those who have never played Kingdom Hearts, PLEASE GO PLAY KINGDOM HEARTS. And to those who couldn’t care less about what I recommend them to do, KH is a story that, under a deceiving cover full of Disney characters and confusing plot points, makes a deep and rather interesting point about what the true nature of the soul is--even if they insist on calling it “heart” instead. What is a soul? What is it for? Who, or what, has a soul--and why? Is the soul linked to the mind or to the body? Is it even possible to have a body and not have a soul? Is the soul something you’re born with or something you can/must acquire over time? What makes it grow, and what is true strength of soul? You know, for a game where you hit cute Hot Topic monsters with an oversized key, that’s pretty darn cool.

I talked more about this way back when, but I’ll give you a brief summary of the main reason why Handa and Roxas are such a perfect match: they are both people looking for their place in a world that actively acts against their very existence. They have no purpose and are simply tools for other people to shine and/or achieve their goals. That is obviously not a good, fulfilling life.

But, well, after all these years of ruminating and thinking (and crying) about HanRoku, there has to be a bit more to it than just that, right?

Obviously (and even more obviously after Kingdom Hearts 3), Roxas is very strong. Very strong. What he lacks in existence, he makes up for in raw power. For someone like Handa, who is so overlooked due to being okay at everything but not great at anything, this is massive. Even if Roxas doesn’t make him stellar at everything, he doesn’t need to. He still gives Handa enough power to become an extremely invaluable asset in the field and a force to be reckoned with--especially early on, since Handa is the first original Raimon player to get a miximax and all. I’ll talk more about HanRoku’s powers in the future.

But the usefulness in the field is only the first part, and even that is debatable due to the post I linked to earlier and the fact that, well, he sure will be special and super strong when no one else can mixitrans, but he won’t be once the whole team can do so. I mean, let’s count: Endou, Gouenji, Someoka, Max, Kageno, Megane, Tamano... That’s 7 people, when there are only 11 players on the field at a time. Handa would only be at an advantage over 3 people. (And if you’re going to tell me that he’s still the only midfielder with a miximax, thus making him special on his own, that’s a perfectly valid point and you should congratulate yourself for having such a keen eye.)

What really shines about HanRoku, though, is how mutually symbiotic their relationship is. Even if their struggles are so similar at heart, the reasons why those struggles exist are not.

Handa’s problems come from not being good enough at anything to be really... indispensable. Sure, he can do pretty much any job at any given point and be adequate enough at it, but he’s never the first option. He has no place of his own in the team; not one thing only he is capable of doing. And that leads to all kinds of problems of self-worth and trying to find a purpose. He will leave Raimon and no one will remember he was even there.

Roxas is completely essential to Organization XIII, but he’s been reduced to a killing machine that they are trying to replace with a better and more obedient one, thus taking away from him the only reason to be he ever knew and making him question his very existence. Once Org XIII disposes of him, no one will miss him--and that’s made even worse by a certain plot point: Nobodies disappear from the memory of everyone who ever met them once they are defeated/killed.

Of course, Roxas would help Handa immensely, as stated earlier. That’s kind of the point of this whole ordeal. But here’s the catch: Handa would help Roxas too. By leaving a part of himself inside Handa (that sounds extremely wrong, but please bear with me), he knows he will never be truly forgotten no matter what happens to him, and his life will ultimately have a purpose: to help a friend in need find his own worth. But let’s not forget that Roxas has only been alive for less than a year, while Handa has been struggling with his demons for over a decade without ever giving up. Despite having the world against him (or, at the very least, definitely not on his side), Handa is still going at it, trying his best, fighting for what he believes in, dealing courageously with the fact that he’s just an ordinary boy in a world of amazing people in order to help them achieve their ultimate goals. At a time when Roxas felt like his existence was worthless, meeting Handa, a boy who challenges his own self to find an identity that may not even exist, is truly inspiring. His selflessness, his love towards his friends and his neverending efforts to be better give Roxas a reason to stand up to the norm and fight for what he believes is right: in this case, to save his few and treasured friends.

Handa and Roxas find in each other a mirror that, for the first time in their lives, shows them in a new light that gives them hope for the future. They learn from each other, complement each other, improve each other, inspire each other, share a deep bond of friendship and trust, feel stronger and braver when they are together, and make a fantastic team. A team of throwaways, a team of tools, a team made of convenient replacements that will one day become obsolete. But a team that, however, is much greater than the sum of its overlooked parts, and will achieve incredible things when they eventually figure out just how unique and special they both are.

Talking about HanRoku makes me very emotional and it’s difficult to convey my feelings about them when I’m choking on my own tears, but I hope you can all understand why I love these two so very much. And if you can’t... well, feel free to ask me any questions you may have! I’d love to find new ways to describe why these two are so precious to me.

#Inazuma Eleven #original raimon #Handa Shinichi #illustration #reasons behind the miximax #inazuma eleven go #inazuma eleven ares #Inazuma Eleven Ares no Tenbin #info #miximax #mixi max

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siflshonen · 3 years ago

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when will results from the bakugo survey be posted?

Short answer: I will share what I collect in about two to three months.

Long answer: I’d like to have the survey up and open for answers for at least three months to account for the ever-changing social media landscape every time a new update drops or anime season news comes out. Expect to see me re-posting the link whenever anything happens to keep this in front of people (and if you kind people would help spread it around to whatever corners of the internet you favor, I’d appreciate it). However, even after that period is over I will likely keep it open to continue collecting responses.

My primary intent is to use this data towards a, erm, presentation (so those Bakugo PowerPoints have a role to play, too!) I am doing come Fall 2022. And, at said presentation, I currently plan to hand out a form for attendees to write how they feel (or take a snapshot of a QR code that links to the survey if they want to take it that way) about Bakugo so I can collect responses from them, too. If they want.

But back to this specific survey: How I will be able to use this data depends on the number of responses I get. The broad idea is this is a snapshot of a microcosm of opinions that we can hold up against the greater manga and anime popularity contests (both from North America and Japan) throughout the series’ run and say, “isn’t that neat?!” with the difference being that the results I collect have specific feedback. It’s not meant to be conclusive in any way. It’s merely meant to be a record of current opinions from a specific point in time.

Regardless of all that, I do plan to share the testimonial sections somehow. Currently, I am considering creating a separate “Bakugo Confessionals” blog and/or Twitter just for the testimonials to be posted with minimal comments (besides appropriate tags of anti/pro/bakugo Katsuki/BNHA discourse), but am as of yet unsure about exactly what I am going to do. Twitter has a limited character count, so I suppose I could post the testimonials as images rather than as text…

Also, and these are my true motives for posting this survey:

1) I think people should be allowed to have a space to feel however they want about a character in a fandom that they CANNOT escape (because COME ON. One cannot escape Bakugo Katsuki if they are reading or watching the full BNHA work and that’s even before just trying to curate one’s own fandom experience) without the discourse necessarily coming to them. If it’s on a platform dedicated to posting opinions and hot takes, people can have the discourse regarding the testimonial without directly involving the person (though if they were to hypothetically claim the Hot Take post on their own social media with a retweet/reblog and comment, that’s on them)

2) I think this thing could potentially be a great tool for people to look inward about what makes them feel so strongly about a cartoon boy should they choose to use it that way.

3) It is also a fun group project activity.

4) I am not unbiased. I love Bakugo Katsuki but I also want to know people’s in-depth honest opinions while not imposing my own viewpoint on what they have to say. Basically, I know how I feel, but I want to know how the rest of the world feels at current time.

5) I want to know how other people feel about the testimonials without putting the person who supplies them on blast. The main conceit of presenting these testimonials anonymously is that they are given in a setting where nobody can directly talk back to the poster, but every individual can say (or think) whatever they want about the testimonial. Like art pieces on a wall, you know?

If this were a study with money and resources behind it, I’d have started it near the beginning of the anime’s run, kept it up for the duration of the series, and hired people to help me consistently post/advertise the darn thing consistently on different social media platforms, and had a more detailed hypothesis to go with a more established and supported method. But, well, you know.

Thank you for your interest!

#Bakugo survey #ask #thank you for the ask!

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ashmerra · 6 years ago

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may i kindly ask you all the oc questions?

Yes, yes you may.

Quick note: A few OCsI won’t mention by name and a few answers will be vague just as to not spoilanything. I have an entire fanversegoing on here.

-50 OC Asks-

Quick reference: Meri is the Hero of Kvatch. Arrais a Breton mage in Skyrim. Dreyns is a Dunmer assassin. Vitiais the Dragonborn. Sannit is an old, former Ashlander. Veabris is an Ayleid who’saround back before the First Era. Jaka is the Nerevarine. Estor isNot a Thalmor ™. Stigr is a proud Nord boi. La’Mihr is a smart kitty. One-Who-Knowsis yearning for the suburban Skyrim dream.

1. “Your first OCever?”

That would be proto Meri. She was really the first that grew into an actual character. She was also supposed to star in an Oblivionrewrite/webcomic/fanfic thing I drew like one page of years ago.

2. “Do you have a personal favouriteamong your OCs?”

I like different ones for different reasons! Arra’s dialogue and one-liners, Dreyns’swhole ark of getting old, Vitia’s philosophy, etc. etc.

3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else?

Nope. And I’d neverconsider them mine. I handcraft them andbake them one-of-a-kind each time. Butmore seriously, the most I could take is an idea for a character, because Ialways like to twist things on their head and really make it my own. I don’t enjoy writing NPCs for thisreason. I can’t get in their head and myheadcanons get a bit much, so I’d rather just write for those I know.

4. “A character you rarely talk about?”

Tactus Gavros Sigilis! An inspector/investigator for the Empirein Skyrim.

5. “If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be?”

I think that’s not really up to me. I can’t decide who fans will latch onto. I know who’s the most well-liked at thistime, but that’s no indicator of who would be well-loved by a much wideraudience. I’ll leave this one to my fans!

6. “Two OCs of yours that look alike despite not being related?”

I do my best to give everyone unique looks andclothing/color schemes, but! There’sthree that got based on each other and aren’t the same but even I’m confusednow. I’ll make a separate post to breakit down.

7. “Are your OCs part of any story or stories?”

None of them exist outside of the Elder Scrolls universe,and I have yet to write fanfiction.

8. “Do you RP as any of your OCs? If you do, introduce one of your RP OCs here!”

Currently Arra, Sannit, and Veabris. Though I think I’m game to RPing any of them,I already have a few more that I want to add to my RPing blog! (btw, if you like the idea of RPing with me,all you have to do is ask.)

9. “Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?”

No. Not give, nevergive. But that doesn’t mean they can’tappear in your writing/meta/art, just that it’s a crossover, you don’t own themjust like I don’t own yours when I allude to them in RPs. (Did I ever post that here?)

10. “Introduce an OC with a complicated design?”

All the ones I don’t draw, lol

Okay, more seriously…no, that’s pretty much why.

11. “Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a ‘sunshine’?”

100% Arra

12. “Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lot”

Can I say all of them? My favorites are the ones who are woven into the lore and pre-existingcharacters, and ones that feel like real people and not just “ArgonainDragonborn #76”. I like the ones whotake it as seriously as me, and as I see people do, I feel more confident totalk about and expand them.

13. “Do you have any troublemaker OCs?”

Actually, not really. Dreyns, Jaka and Stigr can all be at times, though.

14. “Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory”

I want to legit change that to one without tragedy in theirbackstory because they’re all tragic…

15. “Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?”

Sometimes! But I trynot to go overboard because I’m not sure if people like it.

16. “Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)?”

My Daedric biologist, I would imagine.

17. “Any OC OTPs?”

I’m not much of a shipper, honestly. And I really can’t think of any at themoment.

18. “Any OC crackships?”

19. “Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)”

I’ll pass on this one only because my answer would start gettingtoo personal for this ask.

20. “Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details(headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?”

Veabris has a beautiful singing voice that would sound agood deal like Annie Lennox. Actually,just listen to “Into the West” and you’re good to good. But you’ll never hear it because Vea is superself-conscious and private about singing.

21. “Your most artistic OC?”

You know, I think I overlook making them artistic justbecause I am. It would be too obvious. But let’s say Stigr and La’Mihr are.

22. “Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how?”

In world or OOC? That’s a really important distinction! But Veabris’s intentions are usually misinterpreted.

23. “Introduce an OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what thecharacter would be like?”

Most of them! I workon them for a while until I feel they’re ready to be revealed. 24. “If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?”

Don’t do this to me!!!! Ahhhh I don’t know I love them all! But Jaka would probably be the most fun to hang out with? Then again, a day out with Sannit would begreat.

25. “The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, sharedlike/dislike for something etc?)”

Meri.

26. “Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about themagainst your will?”

Arra and yes, I’m still bitter about it. I won’t get into it because I’d rather notmake posts like that, but if anyone would like to know feel free to message me.

27. “Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song?”

Nah, they come about and the songs fit them after.

28. “Your most dangerous OC?”

Okay! So we haveMankar Camoran’s kid, Molag Bal’s Undying Champion, a lesser Daedric Prince anda double-memoried Godkiller. Have funwith that battle royal!

29. “Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at nightwithout telling anyone they’re going?”

Tactus Gavros Sigilis, it’s his literal job. Wait it’s Estor’s too. …And kinda Veabris’s. Well!

30. “Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animalcollection?”

It’s Dreyns. It’s soDreyns.

31. “Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like(what they reblog, layout, anything really)”

Sannit treats it like a regular website blog and only postsstories from his life or answers to asks. No reblogs and he doesn’t follow anyone.

Meri posts advanced DYI stuff and martial technique.

32. “Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonistand why?”

I don’t play horror games but I’m thinking Estor in creepy,culty fan theory version of Rorikstead. (Should I write this?)

33. “Your shyest OC?”

She’s so shy she won’t let me talk about her.

34. “Do you have any twin characters?”

Not yet!

35. “Any sibling characters?”

Yes but I won’t say just now. Spoilers!

36. “Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else(siblings, lovers, friends etc)?”

Not currently, but I’m not against doing it.

37. “Introduce an OC who is not quite human”

The Argonian, One-Who-Knows! He’s saving up money to buy a new fancy hat right now. Rock on, scaly bro!

38. “Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer?”

I feel like it would be Vitia for some reason.

39. “Introduce any character you want!”

THESE QUESTIONS ARE TOO VAGUE AGHHHH!!

40. “Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!”

Writing “Arra’s Story” (An RP post). The power and emotion of it and the approvingly,emotionally shocked reactions of my fellow players made me realize I couldactually write good.

41. “Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or twohere (remember sources & permissions!)”

Here and here 😊

42. “Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods?”

Daedric biologist person would be!

43. “Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend tofavour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confess!”

We already found out I like investigators, is that my type?

44. “Something you like about your OCs in general”

I like how they all have gotten their own personality andidentity. It’s taken a lot of work, but Idon’t feel like personalities repeat anymore.

45. “A character you no longer use?”

I have a few in limbo. I’m not sure if they’re coming back or they’re

46. “Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly?”

No. Only because Ihaven’t told them about all the bad things I’ve done to them in the first place.

47. “Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child?”

Not yet, there’s still time.

48. “OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure?”

I think they call this a “hot take”, but in my opinion everyperson has flaws and depicting them otherwise is bad character writing. Like sure, they can be nice and all, but theystill topple the board over when they’re losing Risk (or Axis & Allies). Showing only one side of a character seriously,(not if it’s just for laughs) is boring to me. Where’s the growth? They don’teven need to have “flaws” per se. Whatif the “One True Hero to Save the World” is balled up on the floor crying tothemselves because they don’t think they’re strong enough? Hot take over and it’s probably little kidDreyns. (Which breaks hearts because hegrows up into something not pure.)

49. “Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memes”

Arra would love meme songs like “SEAGULLS! (Stop ItNow)“He-man singing “What’s up?”, and “mmm whatcha say”. And Jaka would love reaction gifs and objectlabeling memes.

50. “Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you want”

I wanna talk about how long it took to fill this out and howmany characters I resurrected from the darkest depths of my mind to completeit. You’re welcome. ♥

#answering asks #henantier #ily laurel thank you for supporting whatever it is I do here #sorry bout the wait #I didn't realize just how long 50 of something is #Arra #Meri Rendil #Dreyns Nelvayn #Stigr and Estor #sannit #tactus gs #Jaka Rul

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