#i support artists taking care of their health tho

[pr0udn3rd]

You ever have a webcomic you’ve saved and tabbed even though it’s been crickets for 2+ years?

Cause I have 2.

[astrasng]

SCRATCH || BANGCHAN

MINORS DNI!

pairing: idol!chan x female!reader

summary: thanks to chan's solo stage you finally made him yours.

warnings: blood (from scratches obv), handjob, spanking, petnames (baby, honey, angel, sweetheart) unprotected sex, cursing

author's note: from my previous breakdown post bc of chan got me in an inspired mood so i made a little somethin somethin. still what the fuck was he thinking. also, if you're a regular reader by any chance (ily) you might have noticed i write jealousy tropes, IDKK WHY THO SORRY

important!: this is pure fiction, the act in this story is by my imagination and not based off true events. please do not copy the work.

enjoy!

It isn’t like you’re not supportive of your boyfriend. You’ve always been there for every idea, even if you thought that it wasn’t the best one. The things you have to deal with him being an idol settled deep into your mind, already accepting the consequences that may come in the way. But it’s not like you would ever give up your relationship with Chan just because he’s doing risky things that you may not like. 

To be honest, it kind of became an advantage for you. 

You would watch him having fun on stage with the other members, sometimes splashing water at each other, making everyone in the crowd either cheer or laugh at their silly behavior. There were times when they got sentimental, wishing all the happiness for STAY and the members for the future. It made you emotional just in the same way as you would watch them through the TV in your shared apartment. 

And then there were times where you couldn’t help but squeeze your thighs together and wait for him.

“Had fun today?” 

The sarcastic tone caught Chan’s attention as he’s doing his everyday night routine, just as he’s finishing up his shaving session. He knows exactly why you’re talking and reacting to him this way, you’ve been all fidgety with him since he got home from the first day of the tour, and when he stepped inside the apartment he saw you still sitting on the couch, not welcoming him in with the usual hug he gets. 

Chan looks a little bit to the side so he can get a reflection of you changing in the room, the towel you used laying on the ground after taking a shower. Without him. 

“Of course.It’s always heartwarming to meet with STAY’s. And the kids were so hyped about getting solo stages too.”

Now that just boils your blood. 

“Oh, were they?” You keep your back facing him,not letting him see how frustrated you really are about the game he’s playing. “They were doing an amazing job indeed.” You shut your eyes momentarily before putting on your velvet nightgown, and slowly walking towards the bathroom where your boyfriend is staying. 

“Yeah, I assume you saw mine too, right? Did you see the special makeup they did on me?” With pride he chuckles while putting away his shaving equipment, patting his dry as he picks up his toothbrush. His question should have a very easy and simple answer, yet here you are ready to give him a brainwash about not caring about your mental health. Cause what the hell was that? You can’t even form the offensive words you want to say to him out of frustration, you could never say anything negative about his performances in general — but the way he’s talking about it, so full of himself, you can’t help yourself. “I wonder who made all that.” It slips out, biting down on your lip softly to stop yourself from further embarrassment. 

“It must’ve been the makeup artist of course, but I could’ve done a better job if you ask me.” You step into the bathroom just as you finish your sentence, Chan unable to answer due to his mouth full with mint scented bubbles. 

As you want to pass behind him, you swipe your delicate fingers on his defined back muscles, the photos of him painted in scratches for the performance fills your vision. 

“Makeup was unnecessary,to be honest.” 

There’s something glinting in Chan’s eyes as a lopsided smile appears on his face, looking at you through the mirror placed above the bathroom counter. As the words leave your lips, he licks his plump lips slowly, putting away his toothbrush he just used. “If I had asked you, would you do it?” 

The air stops suddenly in your throat,taking your eyes off of him as you busy yourself with something else infront of you. “Well…it doesn’t matter now.” 

“Oh it does, honey.” Chan says lowly, his voice suddenly closer as you want it to, and you know perfectly he’s only a step away from you. “If I only knew my baby just wanted to help me out in my solo,” He snakes his arms around your waist slowly, his bare chest pressing into your clothed back as he’s standing behind you, whispering in your ear. “I could’ve used some help.” With that, he pressed a slow open mouth kiss on the side of your neck. his hands caressing the skin on your stomach. 

“Should we recreate it and show it to my makeup artist?”

Chan whispers against your ear, biting down slightly on your earlobe as he makes eye contact with you through the mirror. You look already disheveled just from his touch, your nightgown scrunched slightly up as he kneads your stomach, one of his hands slowly inching up to your breasts. “Would you like that, baby?” 

“I didn’t mean it like that, Chan – mhphm…” A small moan leaves your lips as he pinches your nipple in his slender fingers, continuing to make out with your neck as you try and compose yourself. 

“How did you mean it then?” He grunts out as you push your backside on his crotch, his cock twitching already in his sleeping pants at the thought of you being jealous. “Tell me.” 

“I–I just…” You try to form words, keeping yourself together and not yet falling for his words but then Chan sneakily slides his other down towards your waiting heat, his finger immediately meeting with slickness between your pussy lips. He groans again, grinding into your ass to ease the pain from being so hard. “Baby, if you want to scratch my back that badly just say it.” There’s something hiding behind his words which makes you shut your eyes from the pleasure he’s causing, your hands flying on the counter for support. “I kind of…wanted to..” Your breath hitches, cutting off your sentence when Chan flips your nightgown upwards to expose your wet pussy, your naked ass on display in front of him as he takes his hand away from your breast and caresses one of your cheeks. “You wanted what? Do you need some help darling?” He grunts under his breath when he feels you clench around his fingers, plugging it in and out to take your breath away. You moan out when you feel his fingers curl inside you, hitting that perfect spot that makes your back arch. 

But Chan doesn’t give in that easily. 

You suddenly feel a stinging pain on one of your cheeks, moaning out shamelessly from the sensation he just caused with his hand. When you pick your head up you see Chan already looking at you through the mirror, lust filled eyes raking over your already fucked out face. “Say it baby.” 

You can feel his hand smoothing over the place he just spanked, the air in the bathroom so humid you can feel yourself getting sweaty again. His finger never stopped working inside you, with that spank almost knocking you over the edge. 

When Chan doesn’t see you changing your mind and finally answer him, he only clicks his tongue and tilts his head to the side. Without a second thought, he slaps your ass again, his finger circling around your clit rapidly when he hears your pornographic moans echoing in the bathroom.

“I–I wanted to mark you!” 

And there it is. 

As you practically moan out the words, Chan’s finger is coated thickly with your cum as his words made you tip over the edge. Your whole body shaking in his arms as you come down your high slowly, trying to gather your thoughts and realizing what you just said.

When the words finally leave your mouth he can’t help but smirk, the possessive side of you finally showing for the first time in your relationship. “And why is that honey?” Chan teases you, seeing your ears red from the sudden confession you just made. 

“Just so everyone knows that you’re mine..” You mumble quietly, shame overcoming you as it paints your cheeks deep red. 

Something snaps inside Chan. He can’t help but groan out, his cock painfully hard against his pants as he turns you around and places his hands on your throat, slightly adding pressure on it. Before you know it, you’re pressed up against the wall, his lips already chasing yours. 

“Do it baby.” He kisses you, his tongue sneaks through his lips to taste your lip balm you applied earlier he loves so much. “I want you to do your worst on me,” He whispers between kisses, his hand suddenly picking you up to put your legs around his waist. Your whole body welcomes him, your mouth opens as he slides his tongue inside once again, and your fingers landing into his freshly washed hair as he devours your lips. His hand scrunches up your gown once again before he presses his hardness into your slick core. 

At the contact you moan out loudly, already wanting him inside you, to ease your pain that he caused. 

“Feel that baby? It’s all yours. Nobody else has that but you.” 

With a whine you throw your head on the wall, Chan’s lips continuing to leaves red splotches on your sensitive skin as he takes his hand and pushes down his boxers, hissing out the minute the air hits his precum covered cock, tip red from all the waiting and veins bulging with excitement. 

He drags his wet tip over your puffy lips, spreading them open more to make room for himself when he circles around your clit. As he slides his length between your folds, you feel all emotions gather up inside you, the feeling too hazy as your vision becomes blurry from the need. “Channie,,please..” 

“‘s okay baby,I’ll give it to you.” He chants when he finally pushes his tip inside you, groaning out from you uncontrollably clenching around his cock when he nearly settles halfway in. “You have to relax,angel. You make it impossible for me to–”

“Chan — I’m so sorry, I–” He hears you gasp out, your body all tensed up, your eyes wide open as you look into the mirror across you. He looks swiftly behind him to see your naked bodies melted into one, and then it catches his eye. 

With one thrust he settles fully inside you, moaning from how incredibly tight you are around his length, keeping himself back to not buckle into you rapidly. He puts his hand on your chin, making you look into his eyes and not on his blood covered back. “I asked you to do this, right?” With a softened gaze, he makes sure you understand what he’s saying, not taking his eyes off of you until he sees your lust filled expression again instead of worry ones. “Right baby?”

“Y-yes..” You gulp when you see your fingers slightly covered in red around his neck. “But I didn’t want to-”

“It’s fucking hot.” He hisses, his voice whinier than usual as he puts his forehead on your chest, his hips starting to move. “You did such a great job sweetheart.” He pulls completely out before thrusting into you again, this time harsher as he hears your cries next to his ears. 

When you take another look in the mirror, you see what you just caused. The moment you felt his cock hitting you so deeply you couldn't help but deepen your nails into his skin on his broad back, now covered with blood here and there. It softly dribbles down his defined muscles, and Chan is right. It is fucking hot. 

So you clench around him again when you feel his fingers circling around your clit, his cock hitting the perfect spot as he moans out your name. “Do it again.” He demands, his hand flying on the wall next to your head to thrust up harder into you, making you roll your eyes. As you see Chan so deeply in emotions you scratch his back again, now only deep redness showing on his pale skin. 

The pain on his skin makes him inch closer to his release. The jerks of his hips, slamming against your hips are quickening, becoming more erratic, intense and desperate. You cry out his name nonstop, feeling him twitching inside you. 

“Give it to me.” He’s breathless as he chants into the side of your neck. “I need you to come around my cock baby.” 

His demand tips you over the edge again, moaning out his name as you feel him curl against you, his shoulders on display for you to see what you painted on his back. His grunts are vibrating through your body, the pain melting into pleasure as he paints your insides with his thick cum, feeling so full of him, feeling him everywhere. Chan bites down softly on your skin,kissing the pain away quickly as you both come down from this high. 

You are his. He made sure a long time ago, but now, you made sure he was yours too as you watch the crimson red blood slowly sliding down his back, gathering it on your fingers.

“It took a solo stage for you to claim me as yours?” Chan asks when he softly puts you down on the bathroom counter, a bright smile painting his face once again.

like and reblog is much appreciated! ♡

divider by:@enchanthings

[emo-metalhead-punki]

Rant About SolarDiscomfort

⚠ TW // Gr00ming ⚠

(idk I do wanna draw this so yea....this isn't a gift)

So SolarDiscomfort or Brooke which is her real name

She is a deviantart artist that I meet in 2018 when I was 13 yrs old (I was okay, kinda, mental health issues)

So I remember Brooke followed me and requested me to draw her OC and so I did, and she thanked me so yea

Then I followed her back, her art is...alright ig lol, but I think is cool but need some progress, and we send each other gift and all that, so it's before all the gr00m3R thing happened, so let's talk about that if I can remember

So on somewhere on 2020, Brooke has proposed her best friend named Kate who is 17 at the time, they been best friends for 4 years but later becomes a couple which I was "nice, congratulations you two" but it's not...so, I use the wayback machine and I do remember reading this but I didn't understand

Ngl this give me a huge "WFT" moment like, what kind of state that you live in and how this is okay?... And get this, she doesn't support mapp even tho she DATED A 17 YEAR OLD WHILE BEEN A 20 YEAR OLD LIKE YOU CAN'T DO THAT BITCH

And then one year later, they fuxking broke up which is a good thing and I remember Brooke telling me to stop supporting Kate cuz she's.... too be honest, idk

All I remember that Kate is a tracer cuz she use a base without giving the artist credit but then her mutual tell her and then there the credit and more drama of Brooke did

Like, she would rant that one artist named serpy and I try to understand what's going on after reading the posts of Brooke but I feel like Brooke is taking her anger out on serpy, but I did stay away from the drama cuz is was too much and she keeps typing "crazy laughs" like...uhm...okay then...no one cares what you did man....I do really remember the drama but her account is deactivated....like every Deviantart artist do....

But if you know her, here a drawing of it, in case you recognized the art style

The left one is Brooke and the left one is kate

And I do wanna talk about Kate, like she may be kinda of annoying (cuz she kept requesting me a lot like everyday ) but all in seriously, I do remember her dating that one Mexican dude named Max (not his real name lol but I'm gonna called him)

That I don't trust like I hate him, I don't trust him and I seeing his irl photo of him and I still don't trust him...and I do remember seeing the message from him like I got highly uncomfortable by him

(I'm a Mexican, if someone didn't know lol)

Oh btw he also made NSFW as well, while being a minor ofc, classic teenagers in 2017 are started drawing NSFW cuz that's fine...right?...

Nope...it's not...you gotta wait dude...

But I did check his bio for his age but he didn't put his age...but then I saw a post of it, it turns out his 18 (on 2020) so I assume that he was 15 or 16 while Kate was like either 12 or 13 (i can't do math right, if I'm wrong then yea...) but I do believe that Kate was also groomed by him and till this day, she didnt talk about this like she was like too busy being happy instead of talking about this like why, how you deal such a traumatic thing and then later forget it, i mean, good for her but I will like be traumatized for life and not feeling happy

But for Brooke, yea...so if she like made an account on Tumblr and then see saw this post I be like...yea man...you got exposed as a P3d0 and a groomer man like...you should have say any of these things and your so toxic to serpy that she didn't do anything to you

So your career is over lol but I'm glad you didn't groomed me and talk shit about me cuz I didn't even like you like your so toxic towards any artist like why man...you didn't do anything to you like "oh she suck ass" and "she ugly asf" and "she's dumb as hell*

I mean...I dont like serpy ship cuz it's a zoophilia ship like...she basically ship Anne from frozen with mr. Peabody (the dog) from I forgot the name like it's highly uncomfortable to look and which I should have say no to her when she requested me that shit...so yea...she still ship it till this day...and her ships are mostly crossover so...yea...(That one shipper that ships spinel with a fucking car from cars movie)

So yea...Brooke...if you reading this...

Keep your nasty behavior to yourself instead of spreading it like a disease, I use to think your cool but now, your just a toxic woman, a p3do and a groomer

Peeps, watch out for SolarDiscomfort in case she made a Tumblr account

[fuwaprince]

Okay! Rocking a new game plan and seriously working to repair my mental health.

I received reassurance that I was on the right career path earlier. I still need to make moves/calls tho like 1. go to the library now that I'm not so gross (I showered 🎉) and 2. the career center... since my resume needs updating! Also 3. call my recruiterfriend and hope he can find me a mentorfriend.

Soon I have to schedule some kind of therapy and hope that they teach me antianxiety magic.

People I want me to feed myself because they know I'm capable. They I want me to take good care of my body. They say It's a gift and I'm worth it. This next bit is TMI maybe so I suggest not reading it, it's for me! No more neglecting myself... I noticed new places I was anxiously scratching while in the shower and... I have to protect my poor skin!!! Also the unresolved bleeding that seems to magically stop when I eat/drink again... I have to do better. I have to look at myself through a lens of unconditional love to see the worth in nurturing myself again. Changing is the best thing I can do for myself. The future me will be so grateful and so much happier. My future relationship will be healthier because of it too.

I should squeeze in studying (driving, philosophy) and connecting with friends (I'll start by messaging people back). I should send fan mail to support my favorite artists, eventually. I should make a zine, some gifs or fun little pink edits.

On Thursday, I'll do laundry stress-free (no coins needed). I'll get into a routine that includes sunshine, working out and meditating. This is great for my consciousness. A more disciplined me will be way sexier lol!

An old friend reached out to say he had a dream about me being safe with friends. A good omen. The lady who I thought would chew my ass out ended up being especially kind. A great surprise. Who said to be fearful instead of excited for what's coming? Whoever they are- I should stop listening to them.

Friends from the web have acted as distant guardians. Thanks for being here in spirit you pink lovin' punks! The virtual hugs have been positive and uplifting. The donations are going to handle my first months rent. Thanks everybody for helping me stay on the right path. I was going down the wrong rabbit hole all month long. It was agonizing. Things are still pretty terrible but hey they're already looking up!!! I'm in a rational state of mind after eating food (yay I'm no longer evil! jkjk... Being hungry rly does have me thinking irrationally tho 😅). I'm not crying and I'm not alone. After a long day, I should enjoy a good rest... just a few things to do first like figure out where all my lost/scattered stuff is then retrieve some. I'm pretty grateful to be alive considering everything that happened!! What a sensational experience!

[estrelladeishtar-archive]

Catch me resurfacing after 5000 years only to (maybe) slip back away & into the void of space like some kinda cryptid

Also I updated the desktop blog themes for here & my personal bc it’s about time I got off my ass & did that

Anyway

I guess we’ve been long overdue for an updates post yeah? Last one I made was legit Nov 2021... I think I should at least leave another update post before seeing if I’m still around or end up vanishing yet again, lmfao But regardless, getting to the point...

Tossing shit under a read more just so that in case of a lengthy ass post it doesn’t clog people’s dashboards (dashboards? timelines? ...I’ve been mostly on twitter lmao so). TL;DR, life’s come swinging hard at me so it’s kept all of my focus mostly on personal matters, less on art, even with still creating things in the distance despite taking a lengthy hiatus (that’s arguably still ongoing? a semi hiatus now perhaps) so.

So I mean, for starters its kinda. Obvious that I’ve been more active on other social media sites rather than here, & tbh whether I really stick around here for long or end up disappearing back into the depths once more for whatever unforeseen reason is yet to be seen, especially since I only really use this place on occasion (for my mental health’s sake, mostly, whether that’ll change over time or will always remain in this “appears only occasionally” cycle is something we’ve yet to see, but for now... just don’t count on me really being consistently active here)

But even with being more active on other places I’ve still taken a semi-hiatus/hiatus, with a major part of that being attributed to uh. Health issues coming back with a vengeance & tryna crush me lol. I mean that’s, kinda par for the course with chronic illness I guess? But it’s put a heavy emphasis on me having to look after myself even moreso than before, & this amidst still processing some really heavy shit I mentioned in my last update that I won’t get into (bc it’s both deeply personal & very trigger heavy), on top of other things life keeps throwing at me (because of course it would), well I’ve just taken priority on taking care of that & making sure I’m fine &... thus not really being too present on here or anywhere really. Sometimes showing up on occasions because I engage with astrology related communities (since I’m learning more on that & other personal practices I won’t bore y’all with), sometimes showing up to support other artists, but yeah.

I do admit tho I’ve still been creating stuff in the background. Be it practicing with stuff art wise or working on other personal OC stuff or projects, I’ve had that still, & its one of the things that helps keep me afloat whilst also navigating, well, life itself. It’s admittedly been difficult navigating shit also tho because due to my health situation, I can’t really do comms (& I’ve been on break from them due to burnout), so income’s been... troublesome to say the least considering medical bills & all that. So trying to find ways to get that & sometimes getting help from others has been another thing that’s kept me away, but yeah.

Ultimately tl;dr of it is that I’ve just had life itself as a priority above all other things. & it’s bound to stay that way for a while, so yeah. But I still do want to see if, on occasions I’m on here posting art, I can maybe share some stuff around the OCs I’ve worked on/created/etc, as well as maybe lore for personal worldbuilding stuff?

I mean I need to share it on my toyhouse eventually anyway LOL, & AT LEAST on here I can make posts about OCs without being constrained to a fucking 280 char limit per post if I opt to do so 💀 Or see what else I choose to share as well as the art I make from time to time? Especially since I’ve been majorly revamping my own OCs & even with my sona I’ll soon be showcasing their proper ref in full with all forms of them/versions of em, both in & out of fandom but. yeah. Things to come.

Also- do expect more of this acct to start turning more OC focused or, IF I share fancharacters, its more centered around them... It doesn’t mean I’ll stop doing fanart no, since I do enjoy doing that on my spare time too, BUT I want my focus shifted primarily on OC content more since that’s my own personal passion anyway (be it OCs, fancharacters, self ship stuff too, or other’s OCs also) & cause I usually have more to ramble on about when it comes to OCs? So yeah. I plan to also implement other changes later into this acct but I’m presently just figuring that mess out while still being on semi-hiatus so yeah.

I hope all of y’all have been doing well & I do appreciate those who’ve stuck around still despite my routine appearing & disappearing bs lmao, & I wish y’all well also

...This update turned a lot longer than I anticipated but hey, least it’s not me updating at some weird ass fucking hour bc of being wide awake at strange times (my sleep schedule’s still broken as hell) (no its not ever going to improve probably) (Its been this way since 2010) (so don’t count on it improving)

[resmarted]

haven't been on psych meds all week due to liver failure and emergency intervention to reverse the effects of the damage from trying to replace covid meds with tylenol (even those also give you liver damage apparently and my tylenol levels didn't even appear to be that high in the end? tf?)

have already been on the brink of tears a few times, namely when chris didn't pull my show and said he knew my ability to bounce back in time. i can't even talk about it i will start sobbing it's like the most moving thing anyone has said to me in so long.

was also considering going down on these meds already and wanted to taper off to see how i manage. i have been on a steady combo of anxiety and depression meds since i was 22. i was very exhausted from being the funny girl in every setting to the point where every coworker at whole foods would want to know what was wrong the second i stopped smiling or goofing off. the expectation of me and the sad jester complex that came along with it for years got to be too much. i also felt like i had turned it into a full time job making everyone else around me comfortable which somehow evolved into being an emotional dumping ground for everyone to lay their own issues out onto, whether we knew each other or not. i genuinely care for people but there is a fine line between being nonconsensually assigned at random to become someone's free therapist and being this hardened bitch for setting boundaries and not engaging in the people-pleasing techniques of culturally fetishized support group mentality. or something idk how to explain it but i decided at some point it was much safer to just be seen as a bitch than a free vent box for other people who refuse to get on their own meds or proper treatment plans with licensed professionals etc. people tend to see that you have been through a lot and therefore you have all the answers to get them through their stuff, but it took a lot or work and therapy and is an ongoing process. it's actually really insulting and extremely lacking in self-awareness to make your problems everyone else's around you and being the only somewhat healed person in a room makes you a magnet to people who want to feel better too without doing the work. people don't deserve to be victim to your emotional outbursts or of your vampiric tendencies.

that being said, not to be anye-kay but i was a much more prolific writer and a lot of my best art has been created from the depths of hellish experiences and times in my life. suppressing my feelings about the world and not pouring it into my art is not very cash money of me. also tho the best art is made during the winter and the worst time to go off meds is also during this time, generally for the same reasons. also i think it's generally a lame excuse to say you can't make art with or without drugs. it may be easier one way or the other, but it's likely a discipline or skill issue. like maybe you're just a shitty artist and drugs is an easy way to avoid taking that accountability.

the mental health system is so fucked the regular health system is so fucked the living wage is fucked all of our money is being funneled directly into war and genocide and i just feel like numbing myself any further in this moment of revolutionary history is not the way to exist right now.

THAT being said i fucking HATE how people act off their meds, how they unleash their shit onto you with such audacious entitlement, and ultimately this world is designed to make you feel crazy, so if you can control your emotions in an act of survival then why wouldn't you? but also i am an artist, doggg.

i know how i get when i go off them for too long, how unsavory comments become, even when they are people i know disguising themselves as randos, and fortunately i have had enough experience to know how cruel and demented people get in groups on line (or in general) and have learned to genuinely not go looking for it after years or exposure tharapy alone. the second i get the slightest inkling we are not on the same team, you're out. no questions asked. like i could truly give a fuck what your excuse for your behavior you will or won't admit to, i have enough weirdo fucking stalkers online as it is and have for decades now. if you even have one of those people within six degrees or your social circle you're already on thin ice to begin with. i did not spend nearly forty years surviving this insane fucking life to go backwards. i don't attach myself to people with shitty karma, even if it's just by proxy of their friends of friends. if you want to survive cut-throat environments, you have to be willing to be called the bitch and the crazy one and whatever else will be thrown at you for refusing to adhere to a mold of low vibe mediocrity. you have to treat your social circle like an ongoing audition process that is never fully locked into place and be totally fine with whether or not people will get it (they won't, esp as a woman you will get thrown all those demonic labels and then some) it feels weird in the early days but eventually living in truth and integrity becomes second nature, and the revolving door of people who do and do not make it back for the following seasons of both your community environment of choice or your life in its most personal form always speaks for itself.

people play with fire expecting not to get burnt, play stupid games to win stupid prizes, despite how it ends the same each time etc etc etc.

say it with me: slow and steady wins the race. that falls on deaf ears attached to people trying to be the loudest in the room, but people only like fast food for so long and everyone agrees what quality is at the end of the day. you don't just get that overnight through overexertion and speed racing your way into a burnout. not everyone is meant to play this game according to the arbitrary set of rules on a constantly evolving and everchanging landscape.

this post was mostly for me btw. everything i do in this world is generally just for me. another great example of gaining a following by going against all the made up rules to a made up game that we are all just making up as we go along. [fiona apple 1997 vma voice] this world is bullshit just go with yourself

[tender-hearteddd]

modern au bertholdt headcanons! ( ◠‿◠ )

a/n - really unedited!!! also wrote this on one go! and my first post on here so enjoy!!! a little angsty and also inspired me to write a lot more posts so !!!!! enjoy :D

100% believe bert would be a STEM major!! engineering to be more specific!!

^^definitely not the type to hate women and to have never felt the warmth of a woman before tho that’s forsure 😭 just the super smart type who’s good at math but is shit at writing essays :/

so I guess not super smart but smart in the mathematical aspects

you two have an agreement, you help him write essays and he helps you with any of your math homework 😼😼😼

i think this may be a common hc for my beloved but he gets along great with his father!! really sees him as his role model and a man he aspires to be once he figures out his whole life thing

his father was a commercial pilot and would take him out on flights when he was younger but stopped once his health started to get worse :(

so bertholdt semi knows how to fly a plane just from seeing his father and would like to actually learn in honor of his father

when bertholdt was a child, he was really interested in planes and trains and things of that sort

which kinda prompted him to be interested in engineering

he would like to design and build a plane in honor of his father :'))

and also wants to create a more stable and environment friendly way of transportation

but apart of him wants to pursue biomedical engineering as well, because of the lack of support and poor care his father received

a lot of his career aspirations are not really his own but based around his father

which kinda fucks him up in the head the more he thinks abt it :/

so he just chooses not to :< which will also not do him any good either :(

I guess even in a modern au, bertholdt is destined to live a life of despair :|

he’s definitely not as super awkward as a lot of the fics on here make him out to be, awkward yes, but mostly just the quiet reserved shy guy type!!

he just doesn’t know what to say so he doesn’t say anything, which is a big problem for him :(

he has a lot on his mind most of the time but can’t find the words to express his thoughts, hence why he’s so bad at writing essays, but also why he has some sort of passion for math.

because math is a way of communicating abstract ideas that our brains can ‘decrypt’ and can unlock hidden truths that cannot be otherwise understood or discovered

^^because if he cannot understand the abstract puzzles of his own mind, at least he can understand something as equally as abstract like math

and that gives him some sort of hope of one day understanding his own puzzle.

:') alright enough w the angst!

bertholdt is really good with his hands!!! (in that way too ;)

they’re just really nimble and longggg

he can fix anything and is also into pottery!

need to put together your new desk? bertholdt will have it done in 40 minutes, WITHOUT reading the instructions 😎

need to mount up your tv? just call bertholdt!

your laptop can’t stop bugging? give it to bertholdt and he’ll update it for you as well!!

can also design really intricate blueprints of projects he would like to work on

but can’t really draw anything artsy :( and is sad abt it

not very creative in the arts but has creative thinking when it comes to stem based subjects

which is why he’s into pottery! because he feels like that’s his only way to be creative in the arts!!

he’s kinda like seth rogen (not personality wise pls 😭) but when it comes to pottery, that man is an 👏🏽artist👏🏽

makes a lot of really unique and pretty vases and is honestly thinking of starting a career out of pottery but apart of him feels like it’s useless :(

bertholdt is mediterranean! greek to be more specific!

though his father’s mother migrated to germany and married a german man, hence why he has a really germanic last and first name, bertholdt’s father migrated to america and married a greek woman! making bertholdt mostly greek and a little german (probably mixed w other stuff too)

has a really big extended family but I can see him as an only child or the middle child

also the tallest member of his family

and is related to pieck! (I hc pieck as greek too!)

i can also see him being related to udo as well

omg!!!!!!!! pieck being bertholdts coool and chill older sister 😎 bertholdt being the middle sibling :'( and udo being the youngest!!!!!!!!!! ahhh!!!!! gonna create a separate post for their sibling dynamic just u wait.........

this may be more of an ick than a hc but bertholdt does have a reddit account 😭😭

I SWEAR HE’S NOT A WEIRD INCEL NEVER TOUCHED GRASS DOUCHEBAG ALRIGHT

I HAVE A REDDIT TOO OKAY SO IM SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE

certain subreddits on there are actually really helpful and wholesome!! and some are really interesting!! bertholdt is usually on those ones lurking!!

okay okay okay sometimes he does post but just asking for help or venting to strangers on r/OffMyChest :(

wants to start reading philosophy but feels like he’ll come off as pretentious (he won’t!!!) and feels like it would just make him even more sad and confused

another common hc but best friends with reiner and annie ofc!! but once they start college, they become friends and make one big friend group with the rest of the warriors (porco, marcel, colt, pieck, zeke) and with the rest of the 104th maybe (might make a separate post for what it’s like to be in this friend group!!!)

also may be a little out of character but i can see bertholdt being a college athlete just so he can go to college for free (doesn’t apply if college is already free in ur country but I live in the united states so rip :/)

he doesn’t see it as a career though, just can’t afford tuition sadly

so he doesn’t try as hard as a lot of his teammates, just enough so he won’t seem too special to be drafted

also please tell me this isn’t what bertholdt would look like in real life 😭😭 maybe not exactly and his face would be a bit longer but close enough 😁

overall bertholdt is really just the sweetest and I’m in love with him and he deserves the world :)

[river-bottom-nightmare]

Nightwing #80 Review

woot woot i’ve kept it up for three issues lets gooo. i liked this issue more than the last one. there’s a lot of fanon dick characterization peppered in, but not so much that it puts me off entirely. also, i’m getting increasingly concerned about bitewing. but i did like tim in this one, very nice

look at all the blue and purple and pink. honestly at this point, i’m a broken record but come on come on come onnnnnnn. the blue and pink is very pretty though. this cover’s a bit offputting at first, and a bit spiraly, which i’m sure was the intended effect.

this is a genuine concern of mine. dick’s a vigilante, and he doesn’t have the same sprawling network and resources that bruce does. (even if he is a billionaire now, he hasn’t amassed the same collection of crime-fighting equipment that bruce has.) 

i’m not sure if he’ll be able to take care of bitewing. damian’s got plenty of pets, but alfred used to take care of them, and now bruce plus the rest of the batfam is taking care of them. as far as we know, babs only drops by occasionally, and the same goes for dick’s family and friends. will dick be able to give bitewing the love and time and affection that a traumatized puppy like her needs? i really hope so.

she does look adorable in this panel tho.

dick. richard. richie. baby. why are you shirtless.

you have scars upon scars. probably chemical burns. bullet wounds. weird fucking squiggly lines from knives that only psychos with blade fetishes use. no normal person has the body that you do. and you don’t think that showing up shirtless in front of the police is going to raise suspicion? you don’t think that the people accusing you of murder are going to look at someone who looks like they’re a fucking mob enforcer and go hmm that’s a bit suspicious?

put on a SHIRT jesus CHRIST it’s like you’re not even trying to hide your identity.

look at this pompous little princess demanding only the highest quality head pets i’d burn down latvia for her. (no offense latvians it was the first country that popped into my head.)

pretty boy pretty boy pretty boy pretty boy-

no seriously kudos to the artist here. his expression is so human i wanna cry. dick, right now, is sheepishly asking a question. he knows he’s not going to get into any real trouble, he knows that he’ll be able to talk his way out of or somehow maneuver his way off this mess. but he’ll play nice for the police, so he’s asking a friend for a favour, part self-condescendingly and part oh-well-what-can-you-do.

and his expression reflects that. rather than a stoic expressionless face most male comic characters have when asking someone for something (or all the time really), rather than the weird desperate supposedly “seductive” face that most female comic characters plus dick grayson have when asking someone for something (or all the time really), he’s making a face that i pulled like yesterday. or the day before that. it’s kind of silly, kind of casual, very much human. i like it.

thank god. proper (in character) acknowledgement for officer grayson. yea, fuck cops in general, but i like that they included this line.

obviously, he’s not talking about the actual criminals, he’s talking about the police force itself. the bpd was too corrupt, and dick realized that he wasn’t helping. not only does one clean cop not make a dent in an overall dirty force, but dick was putting his allies in danger too. not only that, but it wasn’t good for dick’s mental health either. he was spreading himself too thin, and surrounding himself with some of the worst of crime 24/7 did a number on him. dick’s got a history of self-sacrificing tendencies, and i’m just glad he’s not a cop anymore.

dick has a gotham rogues mug. they make gotham rogue mugs, and dick has one.

what kinda city looks at it’s frankly horrible crime history and long list of certifiably insane serial killers who are all still alive and actively committing war crimes and goes “oooooh yea imma put that on a coffee mug!” gotham, that’s who.

this isn’t important i just like how all of bitewing’s barks are blue

back straight, hand on his hip, cheerful smile on his face as he says he’s being accused for murder. love that for him.

they couldn’t have said “yea it’s complicated” in a better way even if they put the words “yea it’s complicated” right there on the page in bold red letters. literally all the love to the artists.

dick please. you’re KILLING ME what the actual fuck IS THAT???? WHY DO YOU HAVE A MUG OF THAT???

anyway nightwing collects novelty mugs confirmed.

this paneling is so beautiful. 

tim’s the focus, but he’s not the first thing you see. he’s placed in a way that forces the reader to drag their eyes all the way up the page in order to reach him. it us know just how high up tim is carelessly crouching, especially close to the ledge of the building too. i cannot think of a single better way to introduce a character, and this character in particular: you instantly know this is a version of tim with plenty of experience and training, is comfortable in his body and knows his limits, but still hangs onto that civilian awe of being in a high place and overlooking a brightly lit city.

absolute classic robin. i love it. 

this isn’t even that important but it made me happy. this is how you train surf.

you don’t crouch or bend over when you get to a tunnel, which is oddly enough what most people think (at least from my experience). you bend backward. that not only 100% ensures that you’ll make sure you’re low enough to make it through the tunnel (because you can see the top of the tunnel, unlike when you crouch or bend), but it also makes it easier to get up: all you have to do is push up with your arms into a bent stance, and you’ll be in a ready, moving position. from a bend or a crouch, getting up is more awkward and more slow.

on a meta level, i like that this creative team knows what they’re doing when it comes to the small, almost unimportant stuff like that, because it makes the action more real. (as real as you can get with a guy running around stealing hearts.)

on a in-universe level, it once again drives home both dick and tim’s experience and professional level skill.

regardless of who you side with in the “should tim drake be robin again?” debate, you gotta admit that tim’s rebirth robin suit is r a d as fuck. if i’m not mistaken, this is the same one he was wearing in 2019 young justice for a little bit? it’s cute and hella cool i like it.

remember what i said about human expressions? doesn’t happen as often to tim bc he’s a Child, but it’s still nice to note when someone humanizes him, too. (that’s why i love the duckboy panel so much lol.)

me, at first: that’s not a “good call” dick that’s just common sense

me, now: sprinkled throughout the entire comic we can see dick bending to tim’s instructions if only briefly, joking with him to keep the mood light while still maintaining a serious mood and retaining control over this particular outing. this implies that dick’s doing it intentionally, purposefully leaving places in his sentences blank and offering affirmations, in order to encourage tim and train him in things bruce might not necessarily touch on, such as social chameleoning and misdirection techniques and love/affirmation from a family member. dick is not only a loving and supportive big brother, but he never stops training his younger brother in better vigilante tecnhiques because he wants tim to be better than him. in this essay i will-

d o g g o

also bitewing is getting so many head pats today i’m living for it

look at him, standing on a telephone wire with ease. nice flex, dick.

also look at how he’s silhouetted. the moon’s full bright, bright enough that the sky around dick is light, too. (at least. i’m like 99% sure that’s the moon.) not like most batman comics, where it’s sometimes hard to distinguish bruce from the background, which is entirely on purpose.

gotham is a dark gritty city, and so is bruce. the two of them are one. bludhaven may be a bit of a mess, but it’s being portrayed in all these different shades of blue and purple and pink, that are all light enough that dick stands out from the background. he hasn’t been swallowed up by the city, and chances are that he won’t ever be. also, the colouring helps establish bludhaven as a city too. there’s still hope for it. the light colouring means that it’s not going to sink into a pit as deep as the one bruce wove gotham into. the whole point of this nightwing arc in particular is to turn bludhaven into a better place, and it’s (most likely) letting us know early on that dick is going to accomplish that. he’ll struggle, but he’ll do it.

so dick??? dick designed his escrima sticks with a situation like this in mind? he created his signature and most iconic weapon (other than his chatty mouth), with a built in feature that turns his escrima sticks into tim’s signature and most iconic weapon???? just so that if he and tim ever got into a situation where tim didn’t have his staff, dick could make sure tim had the thing that would give him an edge over anyone he was fighting??? he’s such a big brother oh my goddd.

also tim’s smirk in this is just *chef kiss.* a staff is something he can work with, a staff is something he wields like an extension of his arm, a staff is means that someone’s about to get their ass kicked because tim’s about to beat the shit outta them.

this is my new phone background.

they really made sure we remembered that hey, those first few months when bruce was grieving too much to be any sort of a mentor to tim and was still unwilling to properly train him to be robin out of fear that he would end up like jason, dick was the one who stepped up (once he got over himself and his own fears and hangups with bruce) and trained tim to be robin, trained him how to fight and flip and fuckin fly out there, all while changing his own style a bit to be the more experienced one in the partnership while still trusting said partner to hold their own, so dick and tim have a very unique and cohesive fighting style that makes it hell for anyone who fights them together, didn’t they?

[blessedshortcake]

Introduction

Hey I finally made one of these.

You can call me Cupcake!

I am 20 and go by all pronouns including it/its and neos! I write, you can check out my works under the #my writing tag!

Art progress blog: @cupcake-draws

Find me on artfight!

Learn more about me under the cut!

I am 20. People under 13... should not even be on this site but alas if you are then please leave my blog alone thanks.

You can use any and all pronouns for me including it/its and neos! Pronouns collection coming soon cuz they are fun to make!

English is my second language! I live in Hungary which means my English can be a little whack so feel free to correct my mistakes. I speak Hungarian (duh) and English but I've been learning Spanish and Romanian for a while now.

I am neurodivergent and I have a handful of symptoms I am still making sense of in therapy. I have OSDD and I don't mind talking about it here but there will be things I may not answer if asked. I accept some questions about my general mental health too but I might not answer them all.

I do use tone tags every so often and even tho I likely won't ask you to use them, it would be appreciated if you did.

I am a writer. I mainly post fanfiction but I have original stories I haven't really showed anyone yet. Maybe someday.

You can find me on AO3, but I am the most active here if you want to interact. (RIP my twitter you wont be missed)

My main tags are

#my writing - for the stuff I write

#caupcakes - things about my CRK AUs

#cake save tag - for stuff I find interesting or useful for later. Writing advice, life advice or just good work from people

#cake updates - fanfic updates, life updates, any kinda updates I have about stuff comes here

#cake rambles - me talking a lot about stuff

#cake rants - stuff that made me upset (you can filter this if you're just here for my writing)

#cake after midnight - stupid stuff. makes no sense. we are balling. time is a concept made up by the governent

My fandoms

Call of Duty

Arcane

Five Nights at Freddies

Sonic

Madness Combat

Undertale & Deltarune

Batman (more so Batfam but shrug)

Cookie Run

& many others but those are my main fandoms right now.

Boundaries

Spam interactions are welcome and very much appreciated.

Reblogs > Comments > Likes

My DMs are open but I might take a bit to answer! I do love chatting and interacting with people tho so feel free to drop by.

My Asks and Submissions are also open! You can ask me about my fandoms, headcanons, wips or even slightly personal stuff if you'd like to get to know me.

DNI

Racists/Homophobes/Abelists/Bigots in general. Just the criteria of Don't Be An Asshole.

Pedos/MAPS/NOMAPS/PEAR or whatever you call yourself. Get out of my blog and my life. This includes Frans Undertale fans. If you ship Frans please leave! Thanks!

Proship/Anti anti or again whatever you call yourself. You are not welcome here.

Incest supporters fictional or not. This includes Fontcest Undertale fans.

Pro ed/pro ana/thinspo/fatspo just leave. Get help go to therapy.

People who harass others about their religion, fandoms or ships. I don't care what you believe in, what fandom/media you enjoy or who you ship (as long as its. legal.) just be chill about it. Don't harrass others for what they like/dislike

NFT bros/NFT supporters, AI "artists". I'd prefer if people who use stuff like CharacterAI and ChatGPD would leave too since that's the same thing. Idc why you use it.

I am not an all seeing entity so if you notice that I am engaging with somebody who has been an asshole (anything from my DNI) then please tell me. I don't do a deep cleaning research on everyone's blogs who I come across but I'd like to know if it happens!

[thekatebridgerton]

Sort the characters into their Hogwarts Houses?

Okay sit tight because I'm a total potterhead

Anthony: hardcore Slytherin, the type to take house pride to over the top levels. only a Slytherin would plan to marry a woman so meticulously picked there's no chance he'd fall in love with her just because it fits his plans for the future.

Kate: also a Slytherin, this woman takes house ambition to a new level in pall mall. She's cunning and resourceful and not above playing dirty to make Anthony drop his persuit of Edwina or needle certain people. Plus she makes one excellent Viscountess Bridgerton

Benedict: Hatstall between Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff, but was ultimately put into Ravenclaw because his creative and artistic side was slightly bigger than his loyal side, he's also narrow minded enough to not recognize the love of his life was right infront of him because it didn't fit in his 'logical' world view. Which (sorry ravens) is also a trait Ravenclaws have

Sophie: fits in all 4 houses but the hat put her in Hufflepuff because of the abuse she suffered at home, Hufflepuff was better for her mental health. And her housemates are ultimately the people she receives the most support from when she's at Araminta's.

Colin: Griffindoor, this guy probably idolizes Sirius black. Prankster who thinks he can get away with anything, travels around the world to find himself and in a typical Griffindoor fashion stumbles upon world shattering secrets by accident simply because he was trying to ask his girl on a date.

Penelope: Hatstall between Slytherin and Ravenclaw. Asked the hat for Ravenclaw. She's observant, logical and intelligent enough to carry the whole Lady Whistledown operation under the Ton's nose for years without being discovered. Which is very Ravenclaw of her. Always reading and writing . Penelope is the poster girl for Ravenclaw pride

Daphne: Hufflepuff, because only a Hufflepuff would think that fake dating a rake wouldn't backfire spectacularly on her

Simon: Slytherin, because only a Slytherin would be arrogant enough to assume that he'd never fall in love with the girl he's fake dating

Eloise: Griffindoor, the type who tries to do everything her brothers do and is willing to shows up unannounced in her pen pal's house to see if they might work out. That takes guts. Reckless as only a Griffindoor knows how to be.

Phillip: Poster boy for Hufflepuff, this guy is probably Mme Sprout's surrogate son for all the time he spends in the greenhouse. Also, the whole staying loyal to Marina even tho she was depressive for years and taking care of the house. Phillip is the most loyal most patient of boys.

Francesca: The Slytherin everyone thinks was sorted by mistake until they find out years later that she sneaks out behind her brother's backs, has a habit of bribing maids and has one hell of a secret sex life all under everyone's nose. Also, she made Countess of Killmartin twice. She's one of the nicest Slytherins there is

Michael: Hufflepuff, this guy stayed inlove with a woman married to his cousin and not only never made a move or said anything about his feelings until literal years after John died, but also never tried to fall in love with anyone else. He's what Cedric Diggory would have been if he'd had a talent for seducing women

Hyacinth: Slytherin, she's a literal sleuth and loves to brag about it, the center of the social scene, cunning determined and the hat probably didn't even touch her head for one second before sending Hyacinth to Slytherin

Garret: Griffindoor, this poor Griffindoor boy who took on a giant treasure hunt to get out of his father's thumb and had the guts to fall in love with Hyacinth. I think that Garret would be put into Griffindoor for the same reasons Neville Longbottom was. He needs a little push to discover the hero he's got inside

Gregory: Griffindoor with the opposite problem of Garret, he's simply too brave and not much else. It takes a stupid ammount of courage to persistently court a girl who doesn't like you and to crash the wedding of the one who does, not once but twice.

Lucy: Ravenclaw, wisdom thy name is Lucy. This girl was born wise, always giving good logical advise to Richard, then Hermione, then Gregory. But do they listen to her? No. she's still one of the wisest Bridgerton spouses there is as Gregory eventually realizes.

I know a lot of people might not agree with my sorting but that's how I see it.

And you guys? What are your thoughts?

[toxicart]

an update on my injury / situation for those curious

Physiotherapy works but is expensive and I’m paying for it out of pocket, thankfully I had emergency funds just in case something like this happened but it really sucks and has obviously hugely impacted my life.

I was hoping to graduate April 2022 but because of the injury to my dominant hand I had to withdraw from my fall classes and change what classes I took in the winter. Setting me back by a year. That means another year of student loans, living in residence and time spent not working in the industry.

My physical health has improved with treatment but my physiotherapist is concerned this could be a reoccurring issue depending on what exactly is wrong. I’m set to get an ultrasound on my hand on March 1st that should show us where the remaining inflammation is and if there’s other issues that the xray’s I got didn’t show. The problem with the wrist is there’s so many bones and small parts in it.

Best case, we focus on what remains and hopefully get this figured out and dealt with by September so I’m back to normal. Worst case, I’ll have to get surgery.

I regressed a bit before Christmas because it just fucking sucks and it has been hard but with the progress I’ve made in treatments so far and having a path forward it’s gotten easier. Sometimes life throws you a curve ball and you just need to deal with it and move on as best you can.

Obviously tho it’s severely impacted my ability to do art and that in turn sucks because I’m worried about regressing in my abilities and losing the progress I’ve made. But I’ll just have to deal with it and keep working on it when I’m able to.

I’m slowly able to draw more as my health improves but my efforts are focused primarily on my one studio class and I have to be careful not to aggravate my injury. As well my mental health has improved drastically as well but I’ve found it a lot harder to focus on things outside of my current hyperfixation and even then I’m super slow and scatterbrained about it.

This time at least has given me a lot to think about. Specifically about all the things I put off and excuses I’ve made over the years regarding my art and lack of progress. And when my hand is hopefully back to normal, there’s a lot I’d like to do and change going forward.

Thank you to my friends for your continued support.

Thank you to my followers for your patience and understanding.

To the artists that follow me. Please take care of your body. Stretch out your back, hips and legs. Wear a back/shoulder brace to pull your shoulders back if you hunch like I do. Invest in a good chair. Actually do hand, wrist and finger exercises and do them frequently the more you work. Try to build up strength in your hand, wrist and arm. Stop working if your hand/wrist begin to hurt. Trust me when I say an unfinished or lower quality piece is better than not being able to draw for weeks or months while repeatedly getting needles stabbed into your skin.

[scotianostra]

On September 5th 1750, the poet Robert Fergusson was born in the Canongate in Edinburgh.

He may have only lived for 24 years, the last of which was traumatic, but those short years not only inspired Scotland’s best-known bard Robert Burns and the writer Robert Louis Stevenson, it also paved the way for better treatment of people with mental health conditions thanks to the work of Doctor Andrew Duncan, a name many in Edinburgh will associate with the The Royal Edinburgh Hospital. The famous English writer Charles Dickens also visited Fergusson’s grave, mote on that later. 

Although still relatively unknown, Fergusson was one of the most influential writers of his time despite dying at the tender age of 24, I wonder how many of you have maybe posed at his statue outside Canongate Kirkyard, but paid little attention to who he was?

Fergusson was brought up initially in Edinburgh but then moved to Dundee where he attended high school before being matriculated to the St Andrews University in 1765.

After the death of his father and completing his studies, the responsibility for supporting his mother fell upon Fergusson and he moved back to Edinburgh, taking up a post as a copyist. This caused some friction with his uncle as Fergusson had essentially rejected the excepted professions of the time such as lawyer or going into the church as a priest.

There is plenty of reason to believe that the young Fergusson had started developing his poetic sensibilities whilst at St Andrews, including beginning work on a play about Scottish brave-heart William Wallace. Moving to Edinburgh allowed Fergusson to get to known the writers and other artistic talent in the city, and he mixed largely in bohemian circles, befriending William Woods who managed some of the theatres there.

At the time, he also became friends with opera singer Tenducci who was touring the country with his company. This was when Fergusson was asked to produce Scottish songs for the Edinburgh section of the tour and marked his first published work. Buoyed by his success he began to produce satirical and pastoral poems for the Weekly Review that was run by Walter Ruddiman.

His initial offerings were traditional poems but it wasn’t long before Fergusson began writing verses that were considered more ‘Scots’. In 1772 he published The Daft Days which drew a good deal of attention and from then on he would submit poems in both English and the Scots dialect. His popularity also grew and in 1773 a collection of his work was published by Ruddiman which sold well enough for Fergusson to earn some money from his artistic endeavours.

Fergusson wrote his most well-known work, Auld Reekie, about this time and was confident enough of success to arrange to publish it himself. It was intended to be part of a much longer poem and provides an engaging and masterful portrait of Edinburgh at the time.

Unfortunately, Fergusson also suffered from bouts of depression and, if any further work was done on the poem it was probably destroyed by him in one of his darker moments.

Fergusson became a member of the famous Cape Club that would regularly meet in a local hostelry in the city. Each member of the club had a name and characteristic attached to them and drawings from the time show Fergusson as ‘Mr Precentor’.

Towards the middle of 1773, despite his growing success and popularity, Fergusson’s work grew a little darker and included Poem to the Memory of John Cunningham where he wrote about his fears of suffering a similar fate and ending up in a mental institution or asylum.

At the end of 1774, Fergusson suffered from an injury to his head and, though details are sketchy, did indeed end up in the Edinburgh equivalent of Bedlam. Two weeks later he was dead, at the tender age of 24, and had been buried in an unmarked plot in the city cemetery.

Now that may have been the end to the story and our fine Edinburgh poet may well have disappeared into obscurity if it weren’t for Robert Burns arrived in Edinburgh in 1786, he made a pilgrimage to the Canongate kirkyard to pay his respects to the young man who had inspired his poetry and whose grave lay unmarked for 12 years since his death at the age of 24 in October 1774.

Had Robert Fergusson lived and written more than one slim volume of poems, Scotland might now have two national bards and celebrate Fergusson Night with a feast of his favourite seafood on September 5th, the date of the neglected poet’s birth in 1750.

Burns himself acknowledged it long ago, when he paid for the headstone that now marks Fergusson’s grave and composed a heartfelt inscription:

No sculptur’d marble here, nor pompus lay,

No story’d urn nor animated bust;

This simple stone directs pale Scotia’s way

To pour her sorrows o'er her poet’s dust.

When Charles Dickens went to see Robert Ferguson’s grave It was dusk,  he saw another grave stone and Ebenezer Scrogge Because it was dark, he thought his grave stone had mean man written on it But it read Meal man, meaning grain merchant, , , he thought how could a man be so mean, that they’d write it on his grave, the rest is history.

I touched upon Dr Andrew Duncan earlier he was Fergusson's doctor, and was moved by the poet's death, and he resolved to set up a hospital in the city which would look after the mentally ill with greater dignity and respect. Duncan launched a fundraising appeal in 1792, and eventually, in 1806, Parliament granted £2000 from estates forfeited during the Jacobite rebellion in 1745.

The money was used to buy a large house in Morningside with four acres of land, and the architect Robert Reid was commissioned to design a new building, which came to be called the East House.

Originally called the Edinburgh Lunatic Asylum, the hospital opened in 1813, initially for patients whose families could afford to pay. The West House, designed by William Burn, opened in 1842, for poor patients, and taking over the care of the city's Bedlam inmates in 1844. The West House was demolished in 1896, but the Royal Edinburgh Hospital remains. It includes the Andrew Duncan Clinic, opened in 1965.

I posted a bit of his epic poem Auld Reikie   last year so this year here is another of his famous works, The Daft-days, in which Auld Reikie takes a central role, it is the old nickname for Scotland's capital city. The Daft-Days is the old name given to the period from Christmas to Handsel Monday  because it is given over to celebration, merriment and excess, with many people having licence to act in frivolous or daft (mad) ways. It is still the primary period of national celebration in Scotland

The Daft-Days.

Now mirk December’s dowie face Glowrs owr the rigs wi sour grimace, While, thro’ his minimum of space, The bleer-ey’d sun, Wi blinkin light and stealing pace, His race doth run.

From naked groves nae birdie sings, To shepherd’s pipe nae hillock rings, The breeze nae od’rous flavour brings From Borean cave, And dwyning nature droops her wings, Wi visage grave.

Mankind but scanty pleasure glean Frae snawy hill or barren plain, Whan winter, ‘midst his nipping train, Wi frozen spear, Sends drift owr a’ his bleak domain, And guides the weir.

Auld Reikie! thou’rt the canty hole, A bield for many caldrife soul, Wha snugly at thine ingle loll, Baith warm and couth, While round they gar the bicker roll To weet their mouth.

When merry Yule-day comes, I trou, You’ll scantlins find a hungry mou; Sma are our cares, our stamacks fou O’ gusty gear, And kickshaws, strangers to our view, Sin fairn-year.

Ye browster wives, now busk ye braw, And fling your sorrows far awa; Then come and gie’s the tither blaw Of reaming ale, Mair precious than the well of Spa, Our hearts to heal.

Then, tho’ at odds wi a’ the warl’, Amang oursels we’ll never quarrel; Tho’ Discord gie a canker’d snarl To spoil our glee, As lang’s there’s pith into the barrel We’ll drink and ‘gree.

Fidlers, your pins in temper fix, And roset weel your fiddle-sticks; But banish vile Italian tricks Frae out your quorum, Not fortes wi pianos mix – Gie’s Tulloch Gorum.

For nought can cheer the heart sae weel As can a canty Highland reel; It even vivifies the heel To skip and dance: Lifeless is he wha canna feel Its influence.

Let mirth abound, let social cheer Invest the dawning of the year; Let blithesome innocence appear To crown our joy; Nor envy wi sarcastic sneer Our bliss destroy.

And thou, great god of Aqua Vitae! Wha sways the empire of this city, When fou we’re sometimes capernoity, Be thou prepar’d To hedge us frae that black banditti, The City Guard.

More on Fergusson and some of his poetry here https://www.scottishpoetrylibrary.org.uk/poet/robert-fergusson/

[writing-for-me-at-this-point]

ii. Fun Facts About The Cast | Actor Au | Obey Me

Request: Its not, I love this AU tho

Word Count: 2303 words

Page Count: 6.5 pages

A.N. Hope you guys all like this! Fun facts about the cast lmao

[ Actor AU Masterlist ]

Fun Facts

Benjamin ( Lucifer )

- Is the dad of the cast.

- In any scenes with Dmitri ( Luke ), he makes sure to know if he is alright, and often will stop scenes to ask.

- He also is an overall joker, so he has trouble filming most of his scenes, will often start laughing in the middle of filming and can break character the easiest.

- Best with kids overall, probably due to having his own, keeps their lives private tho.

- His hair was white for a past show, but the directors liked the look, so that's why he has white tips.

- One of the few male characters who cannot do those diets to accentuate his abs- so that's why his character is always covered up.

- He's in shape! But, he likes the fat that protects his muscle, he says he needs to stay soft to hug his kids.

- Known diabetic, so there's a table full of foods so his sugars are stable, the cast has glucagon shots all over the sets to be safe.

- Is in his early thirties, but people say he can pull off early twenties- he just snorts at this.

Avery ( Mammon ) 

- Takes the job seriously, and his scenes are easiest to film.

- Dark humor and often is the "Lucifer" of the cast.

- Seeing him switch from Avery to Mammon leaves the rest of the cast and crew fucking s h o o k.

- Will always be seen looking his finest.

- No, no one has seen him in public in sweatpants or anything like that. His image is very serious.

- Is a sweetheart when with the rest of the cast tho.

- His eyes are actually that blue.

- No one is sure if his hair is actually white or not, the way he speaks about it is vague, and fans are always theorizing.

- Watching over Benji ( Lucifer ), and is usually the one to tell him to check his sugars, since the other is quite forgetful.

- Is an immigrant from Turkey, so he has an accent, makes people thirst for him more.

- Helps aspiring actors and directors get into the field, and goes on hard work and talent, not who tries to pay him off.

Jackson ( Leviathan )

- Is the resident fuckboi.

- Always with males and females hanging off him, at this point the pop gave up, no- they aren't his partner.

- Flexes a shit ton.

- Wearing chains, a Rolex, and anything designer.

- Donates half of his salary to ocean reserves and protection funds, he has the money for it, and the show pays him well.

- Always at the beach, or near lake houses and shit, the one ( 1 ) thing he likes about his character.

- Hates the fringe he wears with a passion.

- His hair is actually a light shade of brown, his eyes are a darker shade, but still pretty light.

- First generation, his parents are Korean, so you can pick up hints of their accent in his speech patterns. Gets heavy when he's sleepy. 

Ross ( Satan )

- Is a stoner.

- Goes on Instagram lives with either MC and gets high, talking about the dumbest shit or he's alone in his room and his cats join in.

- "So, if you think about- oH MY GOD PRINCESS. YES, COME TO DADDY."

- Has a kitten curled up on him, purrs loud as hell because mf is so warm, and the lives turn into purring ASMR sessions.

- Into self care, has a line of vitamins, face masks, and everything you can think of.

- Calls his fans his SaStans.

- Dmitri ( Luke ) is his younger brother.

- Will never let him out of his sight, and they love to be as mean as they can to each other, they love each other but love to bully one another.

- Is from the Bronx, so his accent is what Avery ( Mammon ) mimics for his character, often just records Avery's lines and sends them to him so he can practice.

- Owns an animal shelter he funds.

- "Carol Baskin? Who's that?"

- The REAL tiger king.

- Gets all his cats dyed to look like tigers.

Micheal ( Asmodeus )

- Chill as fuck.

- Has like 5+ kids, so the role fits him perfectly, and now it's an on running joke among fans that they are all his illegitimate children.

- You know why Asmodeus on the show wears so much makeup? 

- His eldest daughter is one of the makeup artists, and she loves to try new looks on him, and the producers think it would fit the character well.

- People speculate his age, looks young but is in his late 30's.

- His first child was born when he was 16, so he likes to support safe heavens and things like that for struggling youths- from being kicked out to needing assistance with mental health.

- Tired af.

- Always in sweatpants, him and Ross ( Satan ) are the trademark bums of the cast.

- Thinks it would be hilarious that when Micheal is revealed, in the show, that he plays the character.

- Is a writer as well, TSL is a real series and he writes it, so they let him use it in the show.

- Vlogs in his car, in a Wendy's parking lot, eating a shit ton of food and talking about the most random shit.

- Half asleep in all interviews, wearing a hoodie and sweatpants, it's gotten to the point where everyone memes it too.

James ( Beelzebub )

- Himbo.

- One of the few cast members closest to their character.

- Absolute sweetheart.

- He's 20 years old.

- But how is he so fucking big???

- Comes from a big ass family, the middle child, he's baby 4 out of 9.

- All his siblings are redheads too.

- Very playful tho, with the cast always going along with his antics, making for the best bloopers.

- The contacts he wears make him blind af, which doesn't help since he's so tall, and will bump his head on the doorways and such.

- Can speak Scottish-Gaelic, and even has an accent to top it off.

- He is an absolute unit, and one of the characters who does the stupid diet to show off his form.

- Literally on the verge of passing out sometimes, so he needs to rest with Benjamin ( Lucifer ).

- All pictures, shirtless scenes, and such are filmed first so he can rest after and go back to a normal diet.

- Quiet guy, but loves talking about sports and his siblings tho.

- Is always carrying MC and Dmitri ( Luke ) around, now there are many off-guard photos posted to the casts shared twitter+instagram accounts

- Still pretty new to acting, but is amazing at emotional scenes, to the point fans actually think he's having a breakdown.

- Nah, he's just thinking about being alone, without his family- and it gets him bawling for said scenes.

Conner ( Belphegor )

- Crackhead 

- Will not stay still, either for filming or just when everyone is chilling.

- Scenes where he's asleep? He's usually turned away from the camera, cause the idiot is smiling and giggling.

- Has tripped over his tail multiple times.

- Comes from a farm-life, literal cowboy, his southern accent just hits hard.

- He hides it very well, but it comes out at times or with certain words.

- Sees Benjamin ( Lucifer ) as a mentor, he's in his early twenties and new to the scene, but they are best friends.

- Benjamin ( Lucifer ) has now acquired a new child.

- A living meme.

- You know how Tom Holland can't keep a secret?

- Yeah, he's worse.

- Rest of the cast have all had to physically stop him from talking at one point.

- The cow pillow? It's actually his, when he got the role his father has sewn it himself, so he will bring it with him.

- It's basically free promo for the show and comforts him in the city space.

- Gets overwhelmed in large crowds, so he usually makes sure to have another cast member close by, or he will literally leave to a less crowded place to take a breath.

- Apologized to MC after the scene in which he kills them.

- His mama raised him right, so he takes MC to his house for a movie, in which they cuddle and relax for the night.

- Felt really bad for like... a whole week.

- "Country boy I love you~"

Thomas ( Barbatos )

- Brat.

- This is one cocky man, he's smooth as hell, and one whisper can make you weak in the knees.

- Grew out the one side of his hair, but he slicks his hair back or will pin it back, dyes it himself when it's time to film.

- Loves to piss Alex ( Simeon ) off.

- Has a true crime podcast with Roman ( Diavolo ), Alex ( Simeon ), and Benjamin ( Lucifer ), because they're all old friends.

- Donates to the cold case foundation because he knows what it's like to lose someone and not know what happened to them.

- He has a twin who is his stunt double, they love to fuck with the rest of the cast, both of them are little shits.

- Is the motherfucker who makes a channel and reads the crackhead fanfics

- Loves every word of it tho.

- Responds to every fans dms. Every. One. As a whole account for this shit.

- Walks with a bit of a limp, so he wears a brace to help even himself, but during wide-shot scenes you can catch it sometimes.

- Took actual classes to be a butler for the role.

Roman ( Diavolo )

- Himbo 2.0

- Catch this man tweeting what he's trying to search up at 2 in the morning.

- Leaves them because it's hilarious, makes videos where he reads them out sometimes, it's all in good fun.

- He has a set of triplets at home, so that dad energy radiates into the show too.

- You know how Diavolo seems sus at points of the game? Yeah, he's still like that IRL.

- The rest of the cast was put off at first, but that's how he is, and everyone eased up pretty quickly.

- Makes jokes that he has family in the Italian mob, but needed to stop once his father called him, saying that there were too many eyes on the family now.

- Man was s h o o k.

- Has sensitive skin, so all his makeup and body paints need to be specially made, made with all natural products.

- The bags under his eyes are baby bags.

- Will bring his kids on set, to which everyone will gush over, and watch them when they aren't filming.

- Very private with his kids ( to the public ), doesn't post about them much, and only the cast really sees them.

- Wine dad.

- Catch him bringing the whole cast out for "family trips"

- People nicknamed him Caesar

- So many JoJo references now

- "SHHHHIIIIIZZZAAAAAAAA"

- "Please, no."

Dmitri ( Luke )

- Is actually 12.

- Quotes vines, tiktoks, and other memes.

- Is one of the few people that Alex ( Simeon ) is openly nice too.

- Also has an accent, but since he's young and is learning, can now mimic every other cast member's accent.

- Wear earplugs for certain scenes, because of how raunchy and dark the scenes can get, so Simeon and Barbatos are always conveniently in the way, hiding the plugs.

- Is Ross' ( Satan ) younger brother, and if he isn't hanging off of him he's with James ( Beelzebub ), Benjamin ( Lucifer ), or MC.

- They know there are some sick fucks in Hollywood so he has an adult with him at all times.

- Posts pictures of him cuddling up to his brother and the kittens, new foods he is trying, and some pictures with family.

- He often is considered the new Gordon Ramsay.

- Had a collaboration with him.

- It was amazing.

- Best boy, catch him taking a nap in his ( and Ross' ) trailer, surrounded by tiger kittens.

- The TIGER PRINCE.

Alex ( Simeon )

- Avatar of wrath who?

- The embodiment of "No talk me, I angy"

- Jkjk, though he does have a temper, he only loses it with Benjamin ( Lucifer ), Roman ( Diavolo ), and Thomas ( Barbatos ).

- A sweetheart with all children though, like you know Simeon on the show? 

- Yeah, he's only like that with kids.

- And respectable adults.

- Mama raised him well 2.0

- Grew up in NY

- Born in Gucci and Balenciaga.

- Was a child model and slowly expanded to acting.

- Dark humor galore.

- If Simeon met Alex, he'd probably have a stroke, cause THOSE WORDS are coming out of HIS mouth.

- Says the weirdest shit too.

- "Put your hand on my ass and call me a virgin."

- Bro are you okay???

- He is fluent in five languages and has a high IQ.

- Speaks: English, French, Italian, Arabic, and Mandarin

- Has a support system for children who struggle to learn conventionally, with trained tutors who are affordable, he knows what it's like to need certain needs met to learn, and he wants every kid to get that chance.

- Rough around the edges but has a heart of gold.

Derek ( Solomon )

- Loves to smoke with Ross ( Satan )

- He is more aloof than chill.

- One of the more awkward members, doesn't know how to socialize well, and is very shy.

- Watch out for Dmitri ( Luke ) on the down low.

- Didn't have the best life growing up, so he is a lot more street smart than book smart.

- Doesn't have a big social media influence.

- Very nice to fans, gives full hugs to them, and everyone feels so appreciated.

- Has a husky named Blue.

- Also has an owl, who he took in when he found it on his porch with a broken wing, and nursed it to health.

- He set it free, but she comes back often, and has a nest in the tree closest to his house.

- Named her Lovely.

- Animal person, so he helps Ross out with his animal shelters.

- Uses Blue as a living pillow, and only sleeps in his boxers when Blue is on his bed, because goddamn does that dog radiate heat.

- Him and MC live together, having grown up together, and made their livings together. 

[evermoredeluxe]

ooh chiming in on this post 1d discussion! ofc harry has been doing the best fame wise and his music is pretty much ubiquitous now, which as u mentioned is bc of a variety of factors like marketing, talent, charisma, etc. nothing much to say outside of this really, except that i do think his 1d days image as "the face of the band" or "the main guy" really helped the spotlight on him.

niall, i think, he's doing pretty good for himself, but judging from how he talks about stuff i would say he really wants to take it a step further, but he would need something More to kind of, break out in the public eye once again. like his music is Good, but nothing ground breaking imo. once he gets that i think he can shoot up too!

as for louis... i really liked his album and i think he has some great things to contribute to music, with interesting lyrics and a production style that makes up for his pretty average vocals but oh lord the guy has no stage presence!! that is one of my major quips with louis, maybe his fans feel differently but i do not vibe with him as a performer. and also i think his style is perfectly bland which, for better or worse, does play a part in how ure perceived as an artist, u know? personally for those reasons i dont engage with anything about him outside of his tracks on spotify and the occasional fan interaction because tbh i think he's a really fun and sweet guy who adores his fans and is adored in return for it!

liam i simply do not care about he showed in 1d that he has amazing vocals but damn did he make some Bad Choices vis-à-vis the direction of his music... kinda hard to feel bad about him too since the nft craze and whatnot but eh. i hope he can find his way to something that works for him tho because it would be a shame for all that potential to be lost to blockchain monkeys.

now zayn!! honestly i think of them all zayn seems to be the most content with his music? like hes definitely found his sweet spot and it works for him for sure. it's sad for me as a casual fan that he doesn't do live performances but if it's that versus his mental health then it's a no brainer u know... he stream well enough too esp when u see the absolute crumbs of promo he does. i do think his label is not as confident in his music as he seems to be in it and provide minimal support which sucks. i've kind of accepted by now that we might never really get anything from zayn beyond an album every few years and he lives the kind of private life he wants but i think it's harder for the label etc to have such a talented singer and not have him reap every possible source of income so they're hesitant to invest in him until he goes all in.

of course all of this is just speculation on what's going on bts haha

i think one other thing that applies overall to every single artist at the moment is that indie, rock music is “cool” right now and you have to try harder with pop. like you can’t just make a mediocre pop song and expect good return on it. pop girls try hard and they excel whereas some of the men don’t try As Hard (oops). harry knows that and he/his team play it smart and use his assets. also, he is all promo and active while releases and tour etc and opposite when he’s just making music and the public gets a break from him and it prevents overexposure etc. i agree with most of what you said! don’t have much more to add.

[lackingspace]

Dyad (Vincent x Reader x Bo)

Rated: Explicit

Word Count: 2.9K

Summary: A nice evening watching your art boyfriend paint....who am I kidding, its smut.

Warnings: Praise kink, Dirty talk like normal, Creampie, Cockwarming, More Dirty talk, Bo being sweet (wow), Oral, Cumeating?

A/N:I’m still on House of Wax boys. I love them. Please take a disgusting Vincent x Reader x Bo. It’s not a weird husband brother thing tho.･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

Now has Part 2: Dyad II

Ao3: Dyad

You’d just finished dinner chatting with Lester about some new clients you’d gotten at the tattoo shop. There was at least one crazy story a week being a few towns over with a much more ‘metro’ clientele. He loved hearing about your work and all the weirdos that wandered in wanting just the most ridiculous things. 

With him being your foster brother the two of you had a different relationship. See, when their parents had died none of them were 18 yet, so they were stuck in foster care. And of course, the system had failed to keep them together. Lucky for them though, your parents were actually decent humans. 

They’d tried to house all 3, but rules and regulations had prevented it. However, a social worker your father had guilt-tripped had been kind enough to ‘accidentally’ drop a card that had the number and address to where his brothers were homed. They never came to visit him, always the other way around, which sucked, because it sounded like their home wasn’t the greatest. So it was only Lester that joined your family. 

Your father loved taking him out hunting, your mother doted on him, and you grew to consider him an actual brother. The two of you could talk about anything and everything. Your father liked to say y’all got on like two peas in a pod. Which you always rolled your eyes at, but it was true, so even when he’d turned 18 and wandered off back to his brothers he still kept in touch. Visiting on some holidays and special occasions. 

He was even your biggest supporter when you started your tattoo apprenticeship- going as far to volunteer as your first guinea pig. And God did he still have a terrible outline of a turtle on his ankle. You’d offered to cover it up, but he always refused and said he loved it just how it was. 

So when you’d decided to visit him for a change, well, that was a surprise to everyone. You knew where the town was, could see the address clearly from the foster papers your parents had. And he’d told you plenty times that’s where they’d all headed back to. So, you’d used an old map and made your way into the town. 

You’d freaked Bo out when you’d asked for Lester and then knew his name too. He thought you were a fed at first, but everything cleared up when you explained. Lester also ran in frantically scared he hadn’t made it in time when he’d found your jeep outside town, but it all worked out. You’d even picked Vincent’s brain about technique and swooned over his art. So Bo had begrudgingly accepted you into their lives.

And that’s how you’d come to be a regular occupant with these boys. At first just to visit your foster brother, but then to visit with them all. Staying a night here and there, until you’d ended up hooking up with Vincent. Then a while later Bo too. And it just became a thing unquestioned between you three. 

So there you were, packing up a dinner for each of the twins who were still messing about in town. Wasn’t anything complicated-- Bo had mentioned he’d wanted chicken fried steak a few nights ago and you’d thought to be nice and make it, some gravy, green beans, and mashed potatoes. Not a very health-conscious dinner, but it was nice to cheat every so often.

Closing the last lid on your care package you grabbed them both and turned to Lester, “I’m gonna go bother the twins, Les. I’ll see ya in the mornin, k?” He nodded and waved you off, “Yeah, night, sis!” you grabbed your bag and made your way down into town. 

Stopping by the station first, you found Bo and set the food down next to where he was working. He was in a good mood because he leaned down and gave you a quick peck, “Thanks, pumpkin.” you gave him a smile and turned to leave only to feel a swat to your ass, “Bo!” he looked smug as hell, “That tight ass skirt is criminal. Couldn’t help myself, darlin.” You only shook your head and headed to Vincent. 

He was currently working on an oil painting and it was beautiful. Of course it was though, your boyfriend was insanely talented. You came up behind him and wrapped your arms around his middle. It didn’t even phase him as he continued on with his brush strokes. “I brought you dinner and yeah before you say anything you need to eat. I know you haven’t all day so don’t even try.” 

You heard him huff in annoyance behind his mask. Vincent only had a temper when he was interrupted while in a flow. But you understood, being an artist yourself, but he could be mad all he wanted- food was important.

“I swear once you eat, you can go back to it, I have some sketching to do too. She’s gorgeous by the way, I like the lighting and use of discordance.” Not that you’d see, but Vincent still flushed when you complimented him so nonchalantly. He’d never tell you it was a painting of you. It was a close up of your torso twisting warped in pleasure-- the face distorted so you wouldn’t realize the subject. He agreed silently though, you were beautiful.  

Practically inhaling the food, he mumbled a quiet, “Thank you” before immediately replacing his mask and going back to work. You pulled your sketchbook out and set to designing some of your new client’s pieces. After an hour or so, sleep had started to set in and so you laid on the mattress he had while you watched him work until you drifted off. 

Vaguely waking when you felt yourself being lifted you wrapped your arms around his neck and snuggled closer. The hand on your back started to soothingly rub up and down once you’d gripped him. Sleep was shaking off with each step he took and you blamed his neck for smelling so good, but you couldn’t stop yourself from lightly placing kisses against his pulse. 

The grip on your thighs tightening when the pecks turned to open mouth kisses. And his breath hitched when the nibbling started. He was all but ready to just have you out in the street when you’d placed the first few bites, but he restrained himself and kept moving towards the house. Groaning when you licked up his neck to his ear and moaned, “Vinny, I’m so wet. I was dreaming about riding you, ya know.” 

The strangled moan that left him had you giggling, “Can I please do it when we get home? Let me sink down onto you while you fuck up into me?” He choked out a sob of agreement and power walked the last few feet home. He was on you once you’d set foot into his room. 

Mask off instantly- mouth swooping down to drown you in kiss after kiss. His hands gently gripped your face as his tongue catishly teased your lips. Tilting your head he nipped at your bottom lip as you reached down and ran a hand over his clothed rock solid cock. Arousal flushed through your system like you were caught in a fire. His open mouth groan gave you the opportunity to dip your tongue in to graze the roof of his mouth and then pull back to nibble on his bottom lip. Fuck, he tasted so good. Your sex pulsed when he dragged you back in for another kiss and his tongue ran against yours in a teasing dance.

Your hands had finally gotten his pants open and down enough to pull him out. He released your mouth to cry out when you gripped him tightly at the base. He pulled back to stare down as your small hand tried to wrap fully around him, but couldn’t quite manage. His hands still on your face absentmindedly ran through your hair as you cooed, “God, you look so fucking yummy, Vincent. I’m dripping looking at you, and all that’s for me?” his tip was angrily swollen and with so much pre-cum spilled over that it was leaking down the side to pool at your hand, dripping onto your wrist. 

He whined when you dropped to your knees and licked as much up in one go as you could. You showed him it on your tongue before you swallowed. Moving closer you rubbed his cock around your lips smearing any leftover before taking his tip into your mouth as you felt your clit pulse. Moaning around him as you swirled your tongue around his pulsing head. He sobbed as you gave a light suck and your hands twisted around his base. His hands still in your hair pushed you- shakily pleaded you to take more in your mouth. 

You were happy to oblige when he was moaning so sweetly for you. Bobbing up and down in at a moderate pace as your hands worked him at the base until you pulled up to flick your tongue against his frenulum which had his grip tighten in your hair. Your hips were moving in want of some kind of relief, seeking some kind of pressure. Swirling your tongue once again around the tip and then giving a flat lick to the head as you pulled off. 

You looked up at him pathetically, “I love when you fuck my face, Vinny, but I really wanna ride you.” Your hips arched and you pressed your breast against his knees as you mouthed the underside of his cock, “My pussys so empty and achy right now. Need your cock stretching me open.” Licking the underside from base to tip you pleaded as you rubbed your cheek against him, “Please Vinny? You’ll feel so good inside my hot wet cunt. I promise I’ll take you deep and let you cum inside. Fill me up till its leaking out of my messy hole.” the sound he made was almost inhuman. A cross between a growl, gunt, and sob as he scooped you up and rapidly set to undressing you. 

Between sloppy kisses and grabbing hands the two of you were finally on his bed. You straddling him while his hands gripped your hips. You were leaning down sloppily kissing as you let you hips writhe against him. With every whirl, his cock was slipping through your folds hitting your clit just right and God did it feel so good. Breathlessly releasing his lips you leaned back and gripped him by the base.

Locking eyes as you lifted yourself to sink down had your core fluttering as you took each solid inch. Finally seating it all you took a moment to just feel. He was so fucking thick and stretched your pussy open so good. Circling your hips to rub your clit against him had you clench around him. He groaned at the feel of you tightening before he reached a hand up and pinched a nipple of your aching breast. You cried out at the pain and placed both hands on his stomach as you rocked your hips back and forth-- letting him feel your walls hug him.

He gripped a breast as you lifted your hips to drop back on him. The drag was delicious and had your head toss back a moan as you felt the fire in your belly kick up. “Oh, fuck Vincent, you feel so good in me.” he hummed in agreement as he flicked your neglected nipple. Rising to fall back down he hit so deep and fuck was it good. Arousal was coursing straight to your clit having it pulse in time with every downward stroke. 

His hand at your hip leisurely thumbing circles into your skin as you picked up the pace- taking him as deep as you could with each fall. You’d slowly built up until you were bouncing on his cock babbling about how good he was stretching you open and how deep his cock hit. Both hands were back at your hip pulling you down harder as he fucked his hips up into you while watching your tits bounce. 

Everything was building, you were tense, hot- like you were burning up, could feel the familiar heat of an orgasm building in your lower stomach like lead. You were so close, but you wanted his cum first, “Oh, fuck! Vinny I’m so close! Please, please I want your cum in my cunt! Please, I need it filling me up before I cum.” You sobbed out a cry when he moved his thumb to circle harshly on your clit, “Vincent, god you’re so fucking sexy. Please, I want you to fuck your cum up into me!”

He moaned when you said that and arched as he shot his thick cum deep inside you. The hot sensation of being so filled pushed you over the edge and had your moaning out a cry as your own back arched. His hips were still jerkily fucking into you and when you finally looked down you saw his cock was covered in his own milky white essence when he pulled out. 

Fuck that looked so good and somehow even after your intense orgasm fire shot back down your spine- almost like an aftershock. Leaning down you gave him a long lazy kiss before you pulled away to ask, “Could you put it back in? I wanna keep your cum inside and cock warm while we fall asleep.” He ran a hand over his face and through his hair as he groaned out a single, “Fuck.” but he pulled your back to his chest and as you settled down his thigh lifted one of yours for him to slowly push his softening cock back inside you. Some of his cum that’d started leaking out helped him slip in easier.

You pushed your hips back against him, “Oh, Vincent you feel so good like this.” His hand rested low on your stomach pulling your hips to his as he came back up to kiss at your pulse before you turned your face to lock lips. He settled in behind you and after a few minutes the both of you were out like candles. 

Something was coaxing your senses back awake. The light was blinding when you’d tried to open your eyes, only to shut them again. You could hear your breathing was heavy and felt the warmth in your lower stomach. A second later you figured out what it was when you felt a hot tongue lick though your folds to end at your clit with a swirl. Moaning you pushed your hips into the mouth as you opened your eyes again. 

When your vision finally focused you saw Bo’s head between your legs sloppily eating you out.

You moaned Bo’s name as his tongue dipped into your center before he sucked your clit into his mouth. He released you with a pop, “Mornin, Pumpkin” You’d tried to return it, but when he dipped his tongue back through your folds you moaned again. 

He spread your pussy open with two fingers to tongue fuck your hole before he pulled back, “Fuck, princess, your pussy’s tangy this morning.” You groan because fuck that thought of why was hot and you finally answered, “That’d be vincent’s cum. Somes probably still there. Asked him to keep my pussy plugged with his cock.” You thought it’d maybe deter Bo, but all he did was drag his tongue back into you and dipped in as deep as he could reach. He licked up to flick your clit with the tip of his tongue. Your legs jerk open wide and hips buck into him when he swirled and then sucked. 

Taking his mouth off you, he climbed his way up until you were caged in face to face. He gave you a scrutinizing look and you caught your breath as you stare back. Snaking your Legs up to grip his hips your ankles lock around the backs of his upper thighs. Damn, he came prepared. No boxers to be found and shit he felt so good-- he has such fucking solid thighs.

He breaks your internal chatter and brings you back with, "Yeah? You let my baby bro cum all in your cunt and didn’t wash?" You shrugged sheepishly and offered, "We were tired...plus, baby bro? he’s like 2 minutes younger." Bo huffed a laugh while swooping down to your neck, "Two minutes still means younger. And that makes him the baby." Before you could retort he ground his hips against yours. Cock sliding through your folds to catch your clit had you whimper out a moan. 

He licked up your neck to nibble on your ear while still grinding against you, "Wanna know a secret, sunshine? I actually prefer when you’re a dirty slut and leave his cum inside." A plus shot down to your core and settled in your clit, "Just means I get the pleasure of fucking it outta ya and filling it up with my own." You groaned and tightened your thighs around him "Oh fuck, Bo! You’re disgusting. You like your twin’s sloppy seconds?" He leaned back and gripped the base of his cock and pushed in your opening as he snickered, "Yeah, I do. I heard the two of you fucking last night, was hoping he’d cum inside. And besides, it don’t look to me like you or your pussys complaining." He gave a harsh trust, “In fact, with how wet you got and how hard you clenched,  I’d wager you like it too.”

[leeminholinoing]

I have probably send a lot of anons today but I love how sweet you're and even though I only followed your blog recently the way you sound right now basically done with these stunts and wanting to stay off is disheartening but you do you and take care of your mental health.

I'm a new larrie and I agree it's hard to survive in this fandom. From the outside it looks all unicorns but it's a nightmare. One direction has a band has so much dark history. Everyday I learn new things which are so disheartening and those boys having to experience that isn't a great feeling. Anyway I'm a larrie, I would like to believe a true one but the stunts are bearable only while they serve their purposes and don't cross the line. Harry is dating Olivia, alright the GP is convinced but kissing and yatching is LMFAO too much. GP doesn't care honestly who's he kissing or being intimate with (okay publicity I'll take that). These stunts are over the line and I'm convinced they over do these things just to keep the fandom talking and bickering with each other.

I am not going to be here for 7 years unlike y'all and I'm sure of it. I will always believe Larrie is real, Freddie isn't his kid, Harry is a great boyfriend and Louis loves us regardless what we believe but having to stick around this fandom is "na na not for me" and when I say this I only mean not to interact with fans and talk about Larrie and stunts. I will always stream their songs tho.

Maybe one day at work, drinking my coffee working at my laptop I'll see a notification pop up that "Louis Tomlinson has taken a Paternity Test and he's not the father of his said son" and that's it, I have found my peace.

But at this point, everyone is suffering but those who's have no morals and dignity aka the ones agreeing to stunt and cover up these boys sexualities. Im still here maybe until 2021 but I am sure I will be out this "fandom mess" as soon as life gets back to normal. Sometimes I miss how life was only about music and fairly knowing about these boys, when I didn't know where they are landing and who they are watching footie with. When I thought if not Eleanor maybe someone else but maam is a racist and had me disappointed.

It's hard to keep up and if there's no progress I'm convinced a lot new and old fed up fans would leave even the antis (the quarantine ones, they'll find new hobbies and gossips to bitch about). Every day this fandom is becoming toxic and nobody is doing anything.

The only time I am getting into this fandom mess is to celebrate the death of Babygate. It's a long rant isn't it? But you seem like a great person to have this talk with. I still hope the Jungwirths and Tomlinsons go mia in August and boom RIP BBG first week of sept and boom new single announcment on 28th Sept (bluegreening at it's finest) and this sounds like a plot out of my wattpad fantasy.

and Hey! take care though.

we all need a little wattpad fantasy (as long as it stays in the draft skjfhsd). tbh it could happen it's not so far fetched :) Thank you for your kind words, I also miss the days when I would just listen to people's music without knowing anything about them. Now I cringe every two songs listening to a "top hit" playlist :/ I think like you that new fans will leave before the old ones. We saw these boys grow up as artists and individuals, we supported them throughout it all (as much as we could), there's no way we'll ever leave fully. Look at all those old fans who came back bc of quarantine :o I knew it already but there's no way out for us, a corner of our brain is forever owned by these boys 🙂