#i suddenly had a bunch of young blood feels once again (seems to be a recurring symptom lmaooo)

[bagerfluff]

Cookies and Cuties

Nico di Angelo x Mortal Male Reader

Prompt - Meet Cute

Part 1 - Part 2

AN - If you have any ideas for a story with this reader then ask and you shall receive

Nico walked down a path through New York.

He had just finished a quest, kill some monsters that were walking around.

Nico was tired.

Not only were there more monsters, but Nico had to shadow travel a lot to even live. So now he was walking down a path with lidded eyes and stumbling.

The sun was slowly going down in the sky and Nico could tell that in a few hours, maybe four or five, the sun would set.

Nico knew that he could shadow travel back to Camp Half-Blood or somewhere safe, but he was too tired to.

Nico leaned against the building and looked around. No one seemed to pay attention to Nico. Either they didn’t notice or they didn’t care. Nico was kinda glad for that.

Nico kept looking for something.

Maybe a satyr, or another half-blood but Nico saw nothing. Nico suddenly felt hungry. He could hear his stomach rumbling and Nico felt more tired. Nico realized that if he ate that maybe he could shadow travel.

Nico looked around again.

He was in the middle of a busy city, and there was nothing around. Expect. Nico’s eyes caught something.

It was a little building in between two buildings that looked like office buildings. It looked to be made out of wood.

It had two big windows on the left and right and only enough wood in between for a door. Nico looked up and saw a sign that read, The Ghost Rose. Nico furrowed his brow, what could a building named

The Ghost Rose sell.

Nico pushed himself off the wall and started to walk to the store. Once Nico got in front of it he looked inside the windows.

He could see a few people sitting at tables as well as a young man walking around with a notepad talking to a few of them.

There was a counter with a young woman behind them walking back and forth. Walking up to machines, reaching under the counter, and then ringing a bell. The right side of the counter had a glass, showing a bunch of desserts that Nico didn’t know.

Nico walked into the shop, a coffee shop Nico had realized. When Nico opened the door a bell rang and Nico looked up.

A little bell was in the way of the door. Nico could now smell flowers. Nico looked down and around.

He could see flowers sitting on window sills and hanging from the ceiling. “Hello. Welcome to Ghost Rose. If you take a set, I will be right with you”, Nico looked to the source of the voice. In front of him was the same young man who was walking around.

He had h/c h/l hair that looked messy, like he forgot to put gel in it. The boy had e/c eyes that had bags under them, like Nico’s. He had s/c skin and was wearing a white shirt with tan suspenders and black pants.

The outfit reminded Nico of how Leo dresses.

Despite how tired the boy looked he still had a smile on his face. Nico looked at the suspenders and one of them had a name tag.

Y/n.

Nico looked at the boy and realized how good he looked. His hair matched his eyes, and the smile he had looked cute.

Nico looked away and nodded, Nico couldn’t be thinking like that. Nico walked, more limped off, and found a table in the back that nobody was sitting at.

The flowers that were at the window sill wilted.

Nico glared at them and looked out the window, trying not to look at the flowers. Nico liked people watching.

It took his mind off whatever was wrong in his life, and that boy. Nico was still thinking about him. Him and his hair and eyes and smile.

Nico shook his head and focused on the window. Nico saw a man walking his dog, a woman with her boyfriend, and an old man walking with a cane. Nico felt his eyes get heavy.

He was tired and wanted to sleep. All of the adrenaline for the fight had worn off, and now Nico was feeling like he had just gotten hit by a truck.

Nico’s eyes were slowly closing when Nico heard footsteps behind him. Nico turned his head away from the window and to the footsteps.

That’s when he saw Y/n.

He was standing in front of the table with a notepad in one hand and a pencil in the other. “Hello sir. I’m Y/n and I will be your server today. What would you like?” Nico looked at the boy. Y/n was taking his order. Nico didn’t know what he wanted or what they had.

“I’ll just have a black coffee”, Nico might be from the past but he knew that black coffee was probably his best choice. Y/n nodded and Nico noticed something. Right above the name tag was a pin. It looked like a flag.

It was a rainbow.

Why the boy had a rainbow flag Nico didn’t know.  The boy nodded and wrote something down before smiling and leaving. The boy walked over to the counter and ripped the paper off the notepad. He then handed it to the girl.

The girl smiled and they began talking for a bit. The boy smiled and his face got red before he walked to another table. Nico thought Y/n looked cute when he blushed but Nico pushed that thought away again.

That was wrong.

Nico couldn’t think about a boy like that. That’s what he was told. Nico looked outside the window again. This time he saw two boys walking down the street holding hands. Nico looked at them, he didn’t feel disgusted.

Just jealous.

Nico glared at them through the window and rested his head on his hand. Nico looked at the couple as they walked by. Nico thought about Y/n, then he was mad.

Why was Nico feeling like this?

Nico heard the footsteps again and glanced over. Y/n was there placing a coffee cup down along with a cookie on a napkin. Nico was about to say that he didn’t order that when Y/n spoke up. “The cookie is on the house Pretty Boy”,  he smiled at Nico before walking away.

Nico blushed and looked at the cookie.

A few minutes later Nico had finished the coffee and half of the cookie. The sun had gotten lower in the sky and despite the coffee Nico was still tired. But Nico had to get back to Camp Half-Blood. Nico got up and reached into his pocket.

Nico didn’t know how much the coffee was so he placed ten bucks down and hoped that was enough. Then Nico grabbed the cookie and started walking to the door. “See ya Pretty Boy”, Nico looked behind him to see Y/n smiling at him again.

He had a broom in his hands. Nico waved at him and walked out. Nico walked down the street with the cookie in his hands. Though Nico was still tired he figured that he had enough energy to make it to camp.

So Nico was just looking for a place to shadow travel. Nico looked down at the cookie. The napkin was still under the cookie. But that’s when Nico noticed something. Nico stopped walking and pulled the cookie away from the napkin

A number.

A number was written on the napkin with only four words.

Call me Pretty Boy. 

[mintasa]

FALLEN ANGEL ~ CHAPTER 4

Pairing: Yang Jeongin x OC

Genre: Supernatural AU, slow burn, more will be added later

Warnings: Blood, cursing

Word count: 3,1k

Synopsis: The world is a harsh place. Especially for young girls trying to make a living. A young waitress was never afraid of the dark until mysterious vile creatures started crawling out of it. How can she stop them, and who is willing to help her figure out the secrets that had been kept from her for years?

Note: So I did decide to make a second story; this one is not nearly as planned out as the first one, and new chapters will probably take time to come out. It is a work of fiction, although it may not fit the criteria of a traditional fanfic (I physically cannot write in the second-person narrative). Therefore, English is not my first language, and while I'm pretty fluent, I still make grammar errors, so apologies in advance.

Wattpad link Chapter list

Another strange dream occurred, and Daniella struggled to focus throughout her entire shift. The boy in her dream seemed familiar, yet she couldn't quite figure out why. Overall the entire dream was strange; it didn't feel like a dream; it felt real like she had lived through that before.

All up in her mind, Daniella walks right into some guy, almost showering him with some cheap liquor some people ordered. She apologizes multiple times, and luckily the guy cuts her some slack.

Daniella delivers the rest of the drinks successfully; however, she's desperate for a bathroom break to clear her mind off the constant buzz. The buzz from the club and her thoughts is creating an entire beehive. She needs silence.

Daniella hurries into the woman's bathrooms, letting herself slump into the nearest sink. She feels and looks pathetic. She's tired. Not only does she stay up at night, but now she cannot sleep during the day as well. It's rough.

Another woman enters the bathroom. The woman is on the taller side, quite lanky but nevertheless beautiful. Daniella barely pays her attention instead focusing on her own reflection, letting her eyes blur as she tries to rearrange her mind.

It gets weirdly silent, like something is missing. The woman never entered one of the stalls, nor did she leave. She is standing behind Daniella and simply staring at the girl. Just the stare is enough to send shivers down Daniella's spine; the woman is acting odd. A foreigner perhaps? "Is everything alright?"

No answer.

The woman keeps staring, and then she smiles, revealing her spiky teeth. A bunch of them, each as sharp as a knife. Another demon in the form of a lovely lady.

Daniella is screwed. They're all alone; even if the girl would scream, she doubts anyone would rush to help. Daniella slowly backs away from the woman in hopes to not provoke her, but there's not much where to run. Her back hits the sink, and the girl is trapped.

A single blink, and the woman launches herself at Daniella at a rapid speed. The girl jumps away, and the demon smashes into the mirror. Shards scatter to the ground, and some dig into the demon's flawless skin. It doesn't mind it though and shakes its head.

Then once again the demon mindlessly runs at Daniella. This time Daniella doesn't manage to avoid the creature and gets tackled to the floor. The woman braces herself against the floor, giving Daniella enough space to move around.

The creature doesn't like the girl squirming and bares its teeth at the girl before attacking. It goes straight for the girl's neck, but Daniella spots a plunger and forces its handle into the creature's mouth. The spiky teeth sink into the wood instead of the girl's skin.

Suddenly, the woman's weight no longer holds Daniella. The fallen angel Daniella was waiting for didn't fail to show up.

He grips the creature by the shoulder and shoves it into the stalls. It cries out in both pain and fear. The angel, however, isn't merciful; he snaps his fingers and makes the demon disappear into the thin air.

The mirror shards lift up, slowly melting into thin glass once again, and the stall doors straighten themselves. As if, nothing had happened.

The angel himself slumps against the bathroom wall. He is breathing shakily. He is disturbed. More disturbed than the girl, making the entire situation odd. Did he run there or something? "How do you know something is wrong?" Daniella questions, letting her curiosity win.

The angel surprisingly doesn't dismiss her completely and sighs. "I can't quite explain it. It's a gut feeling. Part of being a guardian."

The girl nods. A gut feeling has never failed Daniella. She stares at the exhausted angel, and yet another shaky breath escapes his lips, making Daniella grow worried. "Are you okay?"

"You are asking me that?" There's pure disbelief written all over his face.

Daniella sees right through the guy. He is once again avoiding a conversation. "You look stressed," the girl shrugs.

The fallen angel runs a hand through his blonde hair, making it messier than it was a while ago. "I am stressed. Are you okay though?" He questions. A genuine concern coming from him is odd but not unwelcome.

"As I can be."

Jeongin lets out another sight. "Good," he says, closing his eyes and letting his body relax. "Stay that way."

Now Daniella is once again wondering. She does understand how punishment works, but his punishment does not make sense. How is it punishment if he is doing it willingly? "What do you gain from this?"

"What?" The fallen angel locks his eyes with the girl on the opposite side of the empty women's bathroom.

"From being a guardian. I do understand the punishment part of it, but why do you do it?" The girl wonders.

"I need to keep you safe until your time comes," a vague answer. Too vague for the girl. He's being secretive, keeping stuff to himself. The feeling is far too familiar to the girl.

"My time comes?"

She receives a glare from the fallen angel, but he sits up straighter. "Yes. I'm sure you've heard about the string of fate." Daniella nods; she remembers a thing or two from the school, then the guy continues. "I need to keep you safe until yours breaks. Until you find peace and live off the life you were fated to."

Once a tale, the string of fate turned out to be reality. "Do you know how long that is?" Daniella asks, although she is not keen on figuring out when she will die. It's not like she can or wants to prevent that.

"Nobody knows," the guy sighs.

"So you might be stuck with me for a really long time?" Jeongin nods. "What happens to you if I die before my destined time?"

"I get stuck on earth forever," the guy mumbles. Daniella doesn't understand what is so bad about her world, but if she were an angel, she would want to see the heavens as well. They must be wonderful.

"Aren't you already, though?"

"No, the minute your string of fate breaks, my punishment ends. I'm free and forgiven," the guy explains. So he can become an angel again, although he fell? He mustn't have done anything too horrible to be forgiven so easily.

"Oh."

"Yes, oh."

The mockery once again. She cannot stand it. She redirects the conversation. "You're not going to tell me what you did, I'm guessing?"

"You are totally right."

***

Daniella woke up from Lucky barking like usual; the dog doesn't seem to have better sleeping habits than the girl. Still in her pajamas, she walks into the living room, where she sees an unsuspected sight. A fallen angel is desperately trying to shush a dog.

The dog, with each Jeongins movement, lunges forward, almost biting the guy's ankles. The fallen angel's eyes fall on the girl, and suddenly she feels naked while wearing clothes. She has her shorts on as well as a t-shirt so worn out that it is basically see-through.

He stares at the girl for longer than he should. Only the dog gets his attention from her. "Get your hellhound away," he basically screeches.

Daniella calls the dog over, and he approaches the girl cheerfully, leaving the angel in her living room alone. She tucks the dog into the bedroom as well as snatches a robe to throw over her shoulders. Less naked.

"What do you want?" Daniella doesn't waste any time to ask. She doesn't like the presence of the fallen angel. He's bringing the worst out of Daniella, as well as a bunch of demonic creatures.

"Nothing; I was checking in," he grumbles.

"So you barged inside my apartment and terrorized my dog?"

"I forgot about the dog, and he terrorized me, not the other way around," the guy argues. Lucky did terrorize him a bit. He doesn't bare his teeth at everyone but does at the supernatural. Can anyone blame him though? The guy has wings.

"I'm fine," Daniella eyes the guy who is desperately trying to go back to the heavens. "Is it really that bad of a fate to stay in this world?" Daniella sighs, sitting down on her couch and forcing the guy along.

"It is not that bad, but I do want to go back. The heavens cut off all ties with me. They won't let me see my friends or family, and I miss them," Jeongin sighs, sitting down on the couch.

"How long are you here?"

"A while. I was a kid when I got dropped off in the mortal world," he admits. So he did something bad when he was a child. What a child could have done so horrible to be ripped away from his parents? The heavens do not seem to be the paradise everyone is calling it.

It is simply irresponsible to leave a child in unfamiliar lands, whether he's an angel or not. "That sounds horrible," Daniella chimes.

"It was. I had no clue what to do. Where to stay. Luckily, demons were way more forgiving than angels," the guy sighs. "You'd be surprised how many upper-class demons live in the mortal world."

"Why do they?"

Jeongins eyes scan over the girl. Over the robe and her exposed legs. He looks away before the girl can point it out; he's staring. "By choice, to avoid their duties there or to keep track of the lower-class demon activities here," he shrugs.

The conversation with Minho comes into the girl's mind. He came to Daniella's apartment to talk about the attacks, so the guy must be one of the demons involved in controlling the lower-class demons. "Is that how you know Minho?"

The guy looks genuinely disturbed at the mention of the name. Jeongin must have forgotten the girl had met him. Not once but twice; he, however, doesn't know that. "His family has been staying in the mortal world for ages. They have connections, and yes, I basically grew up with him."

Daniella frowns. She would have never thought angels and demons actually have families. "I thought you all were created by God," she mumbles.

Jeongins eyes meet the girls, and he smirks. "No, angel, we reproduce."

The nickname sounds humiliating coming from a real angel, fallen or not. "So how does that work? Aren't y'all immortals?"

"We are definitely difficult to kill, but we live and we die just like you humans," he replies.

Daniella nods. She just sort of just assumed the angels stop aging at some point and live forever. She was wrong. The guy is indeed around her age; he's young and trying to get back home. Now she sort of feels bad for being difficult, although not really. He's been difficult as well.

Once again, her thoughts drift to the demon. He was around their age as well. They grew up together, but aren't the underworld and heavens supposed to be mortal enemies? That's what the Bible says and the literature says. A whole new world is being unraveled in front of the girl's eyes. "Aren't angels supposed to loathe demons?"

Jeongin shakes his head at the girl, but the girl keeps staring at him, pleading for a better answer. "We don't usually get into each other's business. We have our own worlds to manage as well as our input into the mortal one. We live in harmony," he explains briefly.

"Really?"

"Well, sometimes arguments happen," he pauses. "The worlds have really different values and morals."

"What are they like?"

Jeongin stays silent, contemplating in his head. "You are asking too many questions," the guy shakes his head and seals his mouth shut.

"Wouldn't you be curious in my place?"

"Curiosity killed the cat," he comments, sending a pointed look towards the girl.

"Well, nobody will kill me because your future depends on it," Daniella smiles as she watches the guy grow more irritated with each second.

"Whatever."

***

"Do you really have to be here?" Daniella questions, walking past a way too familiar blonde lurking in the corner of the club. He is such an awkward presence that even the customers are staring.

"How is that a question? Do I need to remind you what happened in the bathroom?" Jeongin snaps at the girl. Neither of them are happy about the situation, but the angel is pretending way too hard to have everything in control.

"We are in public right now," Daniella argues. She is sure even the demons wouldn't risk exposure to someone like her. Why do they even want her in the first place?

"Some of them may not care," the guy answers.

Daniella doesn't entertain him much further, instead approaching Chan. The guy leans over the bar, grinning at the girl. "Who's the guy?"

"I don't know him," Daniella shrugs, glancing at Jeongin one last time and meeting his eyes. She looks away.

"He's cute," he motions for Changbin, yet another waiter, to come closer. Chan grips him around his shoulders, pointing at the fallen angel. "See that guy over there? Cute, isn't he?"

Changbin laughs. "I can't say he's bad-looking, but I didn't think you were into younger guys," he pushes Chan's hand away playfully.

Chan looks genuinely offended for a second. "I may not be, but our Dani definitely is; she cannot take her eyes off of him," Chan hits her shoulder playfully.

Only then does she realize her eyes automatically went right back to the angel. She's not checking him out by any means; Daniella is simply not fond of having her every movement being watched, and that's exactly what the guy does.

Changbin glances at the guy and points a finger at Daniella. "Want me to get you his number?"

The girl's eyes go wide at the suggestion. A number? She wants to get rid of the guy and have all the demons follow him out of her life. She shakes her head. "No, thanks."

"Are you sure?"

"Perfectly," Daniella smiles at the muscular guy. Jisung gets tips for rolling his sleeves, but if Changbin did the same, he would take away all the club's income. Good thing he doesn't. For everyone's mental health.

Daniella's eyes search for Jeongins, but instead, she finds a group of girls. Group of girls she was hoping to never see again after finishing school. But there they are. Daniella turns away immediately, but they start calling her by name.

They noticed her, so now she is forced to approach them. "Hey," she fakes a smile, "anything you'd like to order?"

"Dani, darling, it is you," one of them laughs and turns to the others. "See, I told you once a street rat is always a street rat."

Daniella cannot believe how some people never mature. A lot of time has passed since high school. She didn't keep up with her classmates, but she expected them to be changed people. Little did she know some people can never change.

Those same four girls had made Daniella's life miserable. They picked on her relentlessly, and Daniella, well, she was too scared to talk back, so she endured. Even now she has to stay quiet because risking losing her job is not an option.

The other one stares at Daniella through her lashes. "A waitress," she laughs, "does that pay your bills or do you take some side quests?"

"Side quests?"

"She is really clueless," the third one laughs. "Imagine being that out of touch."

Daniella lets her hands go limp by her sides; she has to endure because that's what she does. The girl had promised to not let anyone treat her badly anymore, but it seems the promises she makes to herself are never prominent. She's just lying to herself. Daniella is letting herself become the source for their entertainment.

"If you're not ready to order, I'll be back in a bit," Daniella mutters, and with that, she walks away still with her notebook in her hands. She is not going to that table again. Changbin is, but that doesn't change what happened already. She let them get to her as always.

She sits down in front of the bar silently watching Chan hand out people drinks. The more drinks people have, the more they want. He is busy.

Then Daniella feels a figure take a seat next to her. She doesn't bother to look completely dismissing the idea of entertaining any drunken guy asking for attention. "What was that?"

A familiar voice forces Daniella to reconsider her words. She had completely forgotten about the angel watching her every single step.

He saw everything, and now Daniella wants to hit her head again against the redwood tabletop, hoping to forget. "Nothing," she shrugs, looking away from the guy's intense stare.

"Didn't look like nothing," the guy argues.

Daniella sighs. "You saw everything; what else do you want from me?"

"I need you to confirm what I heard was true," the angel mutters. His eyes dart towards the group; there's a certain coldness in his stare. After seeing what he can do, she doesn't like that. He may not hurt her, but others? She does not see a reason he cannot.

"Why does that matter?"

"It matters. What happened to you not letting others bring you down?" Jeongin questions. Great, now he is judging her. It doesn't make Daniella feel any much better. She had lost whatever respect the fallen angel had for her.

"Go away. There are no demons to be slayed," the girl grumbles at the blonde beside her. The angel means no harm to her, but he is not making the situation better. Jeongin is filling her jar of disappointment up to the brim.

Jeongin doesn't move and stays glued to the seat. He stares at the girl in what seems to be disbelief. "They are demons. Not in a literal sense, but they're vile."

"Well, welcome to the mortal world," Daniella comments half-jokingly. For someone stuck in the world for years, he has no clue how the stuff works.

He doesn't answer and instead stares at the group once again, pointing fingers and laughing at something. His eyebrows scrunch, and he snaps his fingers.

Daniella's eyes go wide as a lightbulb right above them explodes. It doesn't do any real damage, but the girls start shrieking like crazy. Then Daniella's eyes snap back to the fallen angel. He's satisfied with himself.

She can't help but smile at the sight. "You didn't have to do that," Daniella mutters.

The angel shrugs. "It was funny, so totally worth the effort."

[unabashednightmarepizza]

𝑃𝑒𝑎𝑐𝑒

A/N: My psychology is shit, everything seems a bit more fine since the ground doesn't shake as in 7.5 magnitude... Please bear with me, because what's going on in my country is a lot to take. I only post this bevaude I wrote this a long time ago... Please, have some mercy since I'll not be active this week...

Series Masterlist

“Addy, I swear to God, if you don't stop with those horrible jokes-“

“It's nice to get a rise out of you but wait until uncle Tommy appreciates my jokes!”

Yeah, since Jackson obviously had a bunch of children whose parents were dead, you would have expected them to be more pessimistic.

Not Addy though.

The world they were born to was a torn-apart version but the grown-ups, including you, forgot that this was their normal. To them, death, blood and gore was normal and they had no idea how the easy life was before.

But still, most of them were either teens or kids, there were even toddlers and they needed someone. Someone to protect them, love them, care for them and not everyone in the village was free enough...

Everyone except you.        

And even if she, or other kids overwhelmed you, you would always have an open arm for them.

“Okay, fine... Make your joke.” You grumbled affectionately and she smiled at what you said, and take her stance “the Serious One” with pouting duckling lips. Shaking your head at her antics, you just knew that whatever was about to come out of her mouth was going to make you cringe like hell.

But at least, she would be happy.

“ Mom, Sunday was a sad day for me...” she sighed dramatically and you raised a brow at her suspiciously, nodding your head at the same time at her words as if you were aggreeing with her. “But the day before that was a sadder day~”

You tried okay, you really tried not to laugh at her dad joke... But this one, by far, was one of the best one she had ever made that it was able to bring a snort out of you which made the young teen beam with happiness and if it was possible, she would be shining with light right now.

“I love you, you idiot. Now go and beat Tommy in the dad joke contest.”

“Yayy, I love you too! Bye!” you waved your hand back to her, feeling relaxed after a long time and dropped your hand onto your hip while watching her disappear. Children’s joy could be contagious, one of the elders of the town said, making you flinch suddenly at the close proximity but relaxed back again. “It sure can, miss...” you replied back while taking off your gloves questioningly at the woman, not understanding where she was coming from.

“One can only understand if they have a child... True wonders of our world now...” she hummed thoughtfully, once again, and you smiled to her but that dropped pretty quickly when you saw she was carrying heavy stuffs for her age. “Give them to me, I’ll carry them.”

“Ah, darling, I’m fine. No need to-“ She laughed awkwardly when you grabbed them forcefully, not enough to hurt her, and moved to the front porch of her house. She, just like anyone in the community, was amazed by your physical strength and how easy it was for you to fight, to carry a lot bigger things than yourself.

Except the ones in your squad, they never saw how you killed the enemy so mercilessly but they had a brief idea by... looking at your blood coated form whenever you returned back from especially a tough mission.

You loved them, the town, your second home and in exchange they loved you, you protected them and gave them safety- something hard to find these days.

But how long would that go?

The elder’s eyes caught Joel’s a few feet away from you two, in front of the shop Ellie begged him to go, and by how he was looking at you who didn’t realize that you had a visitor, the older woman smirked knowingly at him, her eyes going between you two playfully.

And if there was one thing Joel learnt at his stay in Jackson for a month now, it was the elders he had to be afraid of.

Especially after the things he admitted to himself.

“So dear... Is there anyone who caught your gorgeous eyes, hmm? Surely, a woman’s life cannot go on alone that much...” you sighed out with slight irritation at her teasing question, and slightly louder voice- you wouldn’t know but she was signaling to Joel- and dropped them in front of the porch, dusting yourself off before going down the stairs and standing before her with a straight, blank face.

“ I’m not interested in anyone, and besides... The world we live in isn’t for love. I’d be better off alone...”

“Hmm, but someone’s eye isn’t saying that. It seems you caught one’s eye~”

Squeezing your eyes questioningly at her, you slowly turned to where she was looking and saw Joel looking at you deeply and your stomach made little flips inside at how he must have been looking at you for a long time. It was no secret to anyone that you two had been spending a lot of time together, and Tommy never let go of that fact to both you and him. After that night where you both confessed your pasts to each other 2 weeks before, it seemed that God always made you both cross paths.

For a simple nod or a long talk.

Your talks verified from how you were, then how you were able to make such a weapon and then how you were so good at using it while he swinged the heavy swords in his hands, his compliments fluttering your heart and warming your heart slowly.

And most of the times, you cooked some meals for them... Something you never did for anyone, or yourself at all. Ellie usually let out a few long curses at how amazing your cooking was, that you were God-sent because you were good at many things while you tried to shake the girl off of you so that you both could eat.

And it was a sight to hold for Joel.

Maybe it was because of how long he hadn’t eaten something home-cooked,  or how he never felt relaxed enough with all the running he did before arriving here but he looked much better, healthier and... happier.

He even had a huge smile while eating what you made for them, while Ellie kicked you under the table for the “heart eyes you made” for him.

He has a very pretty smile, his eyes even crinkle just like he does now-

The elder only gave you a deadpan look at your daydreaming state, but couldn’t help the snort that left her at seeing the grumpy man loose his balance when Ellie came out barreling outside and immediately started to tease him when she realized why he wanted to go out with her.

“Dang, so you fell for the young, hot lady? Not gonna lie, she’s totally my type.”

“You’re fourteen, Ellie and I didn’t-“

“Doesn’t change the fact that she is hot, pretty and totally has the hots for you.”

And while Joel was dripping anxious sweats, because holy shit you realized him looking at you and damn it, Ellie realized it too!, he couldn’t help but think of every interactions you two did together as something more.

You would have never fell asleep on his shoulder if you didn’t trust him, or took some time off from your day to make and buy things for them to settle. And he wouldn’t have started to imagine about you more...

But even if his heart yearned for yours, he couldn’t let his selfish desires endanger your life.

Because, for some reasons, everyone around him died even if they were professionals.

So, with a sigh, he took Ellie and looked over his shoulder briefly to give you a hand wave and went to his brother’s house... to talk about his final mission.

With a frown, you also waved even though he didn’t see it, and couldn’t help but worry that there was something he was hiding. It wouldn’t be bandits,because you literally saved them from those assholes, and he definetly wasn’t a spy for the FEDRA either because they were the reason his daughter died...

Maybe it was you? Maybe you irritatted them and he didn’t have the hearts to come clean to you- but he was a way too honest man he really-

“ You may lie to everyone, dear child, but not to the one who raised you into this fine, pretty woman! If you feel something for the man, go for it! It’s not worth being an old woman like me and alone by herself...”  the woman who took care of you let out happily, though with a sad tint of her voice, and patted your arms softly. Though it had been a while, she could see a spark going on between you two and it was nice to see some normal thing in this world, a love...

You looked at her sadly, and turned back to where Joel disappeared with a heavy heart. Even if you wanted... You couldn’t, for you would be putting those two who you cared about more than yourself in danger with all the secrets you kept to yourself.

“I’d put them in danger but thank you, nana... For the suggestion.”

“Oh, silly girl. It’s nothing, I just want to see you happy before I die... Thank you for the help!”

But knowing who you were, what you hid from the whole town for 20 years... Knowing that they, especially Ellie and Joel, would hate you weighed on you hard...

And if the Firefly necklace in your pocket wasn’t an extra, it sure was now.

..

“How long are you going to go on like this?”

Tommy’s question hang inside the room for several minutes, with no real response from the older man, only the plates’ sound from the kitchen where Maria and Ellie was busy preparing for dinner, the older woman slowly softening for the girl who was too excited. Joel didn’t want to admit, but he was well aware that she was growing on everyone, especially him and now that he started to see her as family and have feelings for you...

He questioned if giving her away was a good idea.

“Like what?” he gruffly asked while cleaning his guns and Tommy snorted, unamused at how stupid that question was.

“Like you don’t feel happy, fell for our Captain and are fond of the girl inside...”

“Tommy, it’s not the time-“ he stopped him tiredly but Tommy was having none of that.

“no it definetly is, brother. I always listened to you, so now... you listen to me.” He slightly raised his voice, and for the first time, Joel sat down while groaning, not being stubborn for the first time. Ellie turned to the door at the voice, looking at Maria briefly who smiled reassuringly at her.

“They need to talk about a lot of things, Ellie... And if we want the two grumpiest people alive here get together, Tommy needs to step in.”

“A worthy sacrifice indeed... I’ll go 10 minutes later then!”

“Are you aware of what you would throw out the window if you give Ellie to Fireflies? You would ruin both your and Y/N’s happiness!” Tommy whisper-yelled at Joel after he said he would go to the Fireflies, and he could see that Joel knew shit about who they were and what they would do to Ellie. He still remembered how you were bloody after getting out with you from that bloody place, a sinister look and crazy smile... with a bloody rifle and axe...

For they had done to those children...

Tommy sighed out, tired from all the things happened after they came and all the arguing with his brother. “Joel, look. If it’s help you want, I would lay down my life for you but you want me to send a kid to her death!”

“How do you know that they would kill her? She might be the last hope, why would they-“ he tried to defend, him or the Fireflies, while he avoided where Tommy said that Ellie was also your happiness when Tommy slumped on the chair with a hand over his face.

“It’s what Y/N told me, that’s how I know.” Joel leaned back on the chair and crossed his arms in front of his chest at learning it was an information coming from you. Had it been anyone else he would say bullshit and don’t even hesitate...

But it was you, who he spent more than enough times to trust you.

For the record, he never actually knew what he was supposed to do, not at all. He didn’t know anything when the outbreak first happened, he didn’t know how to survive, he didn’t know how to cope, he didn’t know how to admit that even if he acted emotionless...

That he also had feelings.

But if there was something he was sure, after 50 years, it was that you knew your way around here better than anyone.

Suspiciously so.

“Why trust her so bad, brother? What did she do to earn it?” Tommy didn’t have an exact reason to count to Joel, and his hands dropped at his sides before a sigh left him. He started to ponder for a reason and found one.

You were the first person who helped him out, who was there when he felt lost and you were the one who taught him everything he knew... And gave him a life.

But of course, he couldn’t say all of that to Joel “ I say I’m not jealous but I actually am” Miller who was his very much so in love brother.

“Saved my life, our lives countless of times. I owe my life to her... And you also do, brother.” Joel knitted his brows at the hesitant voice his brother had but hummed at that and abruptly turned to window before he was able to question him more, a familiar screech of a sword was heard. Both Tommy and Joel ran to the window to see what it was, just like everyone in the town and saw all of your squad flying towards the entry with their guns out. “It’s either bandits or hunters... Hope she doesn’t hurt herself-“

“UNCLE TOMMY! YOU WANNA HEAR MY NEWEST DAD JOKE?!” Addy, the teen who resembled you in more ways, barged in the house through the front door, surprising the two males because how the hell did she enter a house protected-

“Addy? What are you doing-“

“Mom went to the entrance after there was an alarm and I wanted to come here and tell my joke to you! And here is the big part: Even she laughed!” Tommy laughed at the kid affectionately and led her to the kitchen, fully trusting your abilities while only one word rang inside Joel’s mind.

Mom,mom,mom,mom...

You had a kid... the same age as Ellie...

Why did you never mention of you having a kid-

“I SWEAR YOU WILL LOVE IT AND-ELLIE?! ELLIE YOU NEED TO HEAR THIS ONE! WHERE ARE YOU!” Both males winced at the loud voice of the young girl and watched her hug Ellie while pulling her to the backyard where Maria set up the table for them with a giddy and excited smile. Looking at his wife, Tommy also felt a happiness for the news they would be giving everyone, he couldn’t wait to see the looks on Joel’s and Addy face...

But above all, the godmother of the new person-to-be had to be here.

“You two go before us, kiddos. I need to say one last thing to my brother.” He sent them of with a rubbing on their heads, watching them run excitedly before a hard look settled on his face. Tommy, seeing the clear hesitancy on his brother’s face, for the first time, realized that maybe he wasn’t gone too deep in misery and that someone could save him.

Save them.

“Just promise... That you’re gonna talk it out with her.” He said with a hand over Joel’s shoulder, the man giving him an acknowledging nod and a smile. He was happy, knowing that people still had his back, knowing that he had a place to be..., and maybe, having someone to trust. It was dangerous, in this world, to feel something for a human. They could get snatched away quickly, and he would be left in misery once again.

But he would be selfish, for this one time too.

“Promise...”

“And also your feelings.”

“Tommy-“

“No, Joel... Please, you deserve happiness. You two are good for each other, don’t think I haven’t seen the happy smiles you give whenever you’re together.” Joel tried, really tried not to blush but it was in vain and as if he was a teen, he blushed hard down to his neck, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck.

A sight that amused Tommy.

“Is it... obvious that much?”

“as obvious as you being old, you fucker!” the duo barked out together, Joel feeling at home after a long time. He thought it wasn’t love love, he was too old for that and probably, it wouldn’t even go that far...

Right?

“Come on, Maria sat the table for us and demanded Y/N to come. There is something we need to discuss.”

And Joel could only quirk his brows at the happy, excited smile Tommy wore while allowing his “grumpy ass” as Ellie called it, being dragged by him.

Trying to not dwell on how his heart beated erratically inside his chest.

“I... absolutely hate Raiders. And hunters. And Fireflies. And-“

“That means most of the human population.”

“Duh, it’s the point.” Your squad laughed out, even though you all were covered in blood  and the adrenaline was still kicking in after that run in with the hunters and raiders, all of you returned back to the gates while walking slowly. Your joints were hurting, your back was popping randomly and you smelled blood.

It wasn’t something you weren’t used to, after all... Your real identity, what you used to do...

It all came with that title.

I want nothing more than cleaning and sleeping the day off.I’m getting old and maybe some rolls, and juice would-

You let out an ouch when a young kid collided with you, resulting with her cheek smudged with blood and you sighed out tiredly before crouching down to her level and wiped it with a clean cloth, making the girl beam at you.

“Welcome back! Miss Maria told me to tell you that she immediately wants to talk to you!” Your brows quirled at that, though Maria usually commanded people around, she never done that to you before.

Especially right after coming back from a mission.

“Why? Is something wrong?”

“She said it was a surprise! Didn’t tell me anything either, but she was smiling!” Nodding to her words while thinking oh,well,it’s a great way to calm my worries, you readied the Gear over your hips after telling one of the rookies to come with you which he was surprised that the Captain asked him to come with her.

Your reasonings were: a, you were too tired and b, you wanted someone to be there so that you wouldn’t pounce on someone

Both, in this case, was proven to be true.

“Shhh, quiet! There are two people rounding the corner of Maria’s house!” you shoved your teammate to a corner, pointing to where they took their guns out. You knew they could take care of themselves, but from here, you could see that they were getting ready for meal and no one would have a gun on them while eating.

“They must have slipped in while we were busy with the others...”

“Yeah, I think so too. Let’s give them an amazing surprise~”

And it was the best aspect you had through this whole “surviving” thing.

Being stealthy.

And the fruits of that effort paid off, with you two standing before the two corpses, high five-ing happily and you let him handle the rest and look around the other houses for any more of them while walking away. You wondered what Maria had to tell you, and how you were going to explain your “state” now but you, never in a million days, would have thought you would hear those words.

“Maria is pregnant...”

Stopping right on your track at hearing the breathless, soft whisper of those 3 words, you couldn’t help but get teary eyed, knowing that even if she looked rough from the outside, there was nothing Maria had wanted axcept being a mother.

Like damn bro, couldn’t you wait for me to be there? How can you make me cry and swear to protect one more little googly-moogly child?

With a happy laugh, you stepped forward and though tou were very happy after such a long time, you still had a reputation to uphold. "Didn't think you had it in you, old fucker."

Five heads turned to look at you, flinching since they didn't expect to see you so soon. Maria stood up, coming closer to greet you happily while the kids and Joel was congrating Tommy and Maria, the latter one’s mind being occupied with hugging her best friend.

Though you appreciated the gesture, and even looked at her weirdly while thinking that the hormones are starting to kick in, you held out a hand to stop her and pointed to your clothes. "Don't. I have blood all over myself."

That was when they looked further down your body and saw the huge amount of blood you had. While Maria’s eyes widened, Joel’s heart threatened to beat out of his chest at you. The last time he had seen that much of blood...

Well, he never did.

“What happened? Are you okay? Infected?” Joel asked, and both Ellie and Tommy snorted at how silly the question was, Tommy's being more of amusement at his brother's attempts to talk to you more while hiding his worry and fear. Addy and Ellie nudged each other playfully, Maria looking back and forth between the two oblivious adults happily, still being high on the happiness of having her new family around her.

And Joel could have dig a hole in there right at that moment for showing his obvious care, fearing that you would be disgusted at an older man showing care and interest in you.

After all, Tommy and Maria told him that you once tried to chop off a man’s dick for shoving himself on you. And that was enough to make the man gulp nervously for the first time.

But the ever kind you only smiled and shook your head, fixing the Gear slightly over your hips while trying to avoid his intense eyes while flushing slightly, the sight not escaping Maria and Ellie’s eyes.

"No, bandits... I'm telling you Maria, one word, and it will be all over."

Maria rolled her eyes at you, being the only one who knew your secret, and winked to Joel for saying something more while the man shuffled nervously while rubbing his hands.

"Yeah, so that they can all come here?" She asked teasingly, but the answer she got left her speechless.

"Yeah, actually. They would come all at once, and I would kill them all at once too. Here, problem solved!" You shrugged your shoulders noncholantly and she nudged you hard, muttering under her breath how insane you were when Tommy came to you and squeezed your shoulders, while thanking you for your “not-so-ideal way” of congrating him when a movement caught his eye from the corner.

With one of your squad member pulling two corpses all by himself.

“Hey, what’s that-“ Briefly looking over your shoulders to see the male waving at you, you ushered him to hurry harshly while waving an arm around Tommy to distract him. “I’m sure it’s nothing, daddy-to-be. Go and have fun with your family...” with a pat to his back, you pushed him to the waiting arms of his wife when they both turned to you with questioning eyes, which caused you to shuffle on your feet nervously.

“And where do you think you are going?”Maria’s stern voice made you stop and look at her confused, like a kid being caught and not understanding, and slowly raised your head.

“uh, to have a bath and get changed? And probably sleep?”

“So, eating isn’t on the list?”

“I would much prefer sleeping-“

“I swear to God, you’re gonna kill me at one point.” She said disappointedly and pinched the bridge of her nose, coming to stand before you while Joel’s brows were furrowed together. You had been patrolling for 4 days and didn’t even stop to eat?

“Go and do whatever you’re planning to do and come here for dinner, or else I’ll come and whoop your ass.”

“Are you... sure?” no one coul blame you for the hesitancy, not when you weren’t used to be loved like this. And to your disappointment, tears slowly striked you.

“What do you mean by that, lass?” Tommy said curiously while you shrugged your shoulders noncholantly, throwing a pebble away from you as a result of the strees the room was giving you.

“I thought you guys wanted to be together as a family, since you know... I’m not blood related.”

“Before I make you shut up, stop thinking like that. You’re just as much of a family as anyone in this room, okay woman?”

Did he... just call me family or, is it just me..?

Both Joel’s and your eyes widened at his protective voice, how thick it was with an emotion you both weren’t used to feel and... How amazing it felt.

You both blushed cutely, with Joel clearing his throat so that he wouldn’t sound cringey but you were the first one to raise your head and look at him directly, tall stature standing before the table and a hand thightly wrapped on the chair. The setting-sun shone behind his back, giving him a somewhat more handsome aura...

You’re gonna make not falling for you a hard one,huh?

“If you don’t feel uncomfortable... I guess that’s fine.”

“Never, darlin’... Besides you’re gonna be the godmother which means-“

“OH MY GOD, AM I?!”

And while you chuckled on your way back home, feeling like a teen getting a date for the first time, Tommy only glared at him from the kitchen window.

Both for ruining their surprise and witnessing Joel finally being closer to his happy ending.

[abarbaricyalp]

Something to Hold Onto

Rated E // 3.3k words // AO3 // y'all all got thirsty over SebStan's long hair, so I figured Sam would do the same with Bucky

It had been months since Sam had seen Bucky. Other than the occasional text, or the ever aggravating and endearing note left in their kitchen, they'd barely even spoken since the world's bitchiest woman with way too many names showed up in the middle of a late breakfast with a pardon-dependent order for Bucky to work for her.

Sam tried to investigate on his own, but it’s not like he had much time. Despite both of them working out of DC, getting orders from the same organizations, Sam felt like every attempt to get more information on the so-called 'Thunderbolts' had been met with a brick wall. It has something to do with Thaddeus Ross, was the only full sentence anyone would say. Information which made the name even more irritating.

It also made Sam's stomach turn over in knots. Because Bucky under Ross' thumb, Ross with that thumb over a button that could yank Bucky's pardon away, was asking for trouble. Sam didn't like Ross. Steve hadn't liked Ross. So Bucky obviously didn't like him either. And Ross couldn't be trusted with the command of a soldier like Bucky. Sam was sure Ross referred to him as the Winter Soldier still. That’s all he’d want out of Bucky.

Bucky's notes were as lively as Sam could hope for. He left flowers now and then. There  were grease stains in the pattern of Bucky's long fingers once. No blood. And his texts were coherent and neat. Sam knew from experience that Bucky’s words got shorter and more unintelligible if he was hurt or upset.

Still, Sam was supremely jealous that maybe Bucky got to see him on TV. Captain America had to give interviews and everyone filmed daring rescues and gossip shows talked about every picture of him. Sam, on the other hand, was working with nothing. He rarely even knew where Bucky was–the only hint ever being how he signed off a letter or a text in a different language. And that was usually after the fact. 

Sam was worried. And he was angry. But he was also pouting. Below all the big, intense superhero things, when he stripped away the bureaucratic bullshit and removed the danger of this kind of arrangement, at the end of it all, he just desperately missed his partner. He hated living in a house alone. He hated not being in the house when he had to be in DC. He wanted Bucky's opinions on reforming the Avengers and he really wanted his help training and wrangling a bunch of teenagers who suddenly came out of the woodwork with powers. He didn't want to be cooking for one again. He missed being able to talk about TV with someone. His heart broke when the boys asked where Bucky was and even Sarah had started to shoot him worried glances when she thought he couldn't see.

It was a lot to deal with. And he knew he was being a pain at this gala event because he could feel frown lines digging in around his mouth and no one had asked for a picture in an hour. To be fair to himself, the woman with sixteen names was here and there was really no saving his mood after seeing her. Thankfully, she hadn't tried to talk to him this time. The last time they ran into each other, she had grabbed his bicep while saying something undercutting and mean and he had genuinely sneered at her. Sam Wilson didn't sneer. He could count the other times he had on one hand, and probably none of them involved people. But he couldn't help it around her.

The event was something to do with the formation of a new organization that was supposed to help young powered individuals. Something had shifted in the world in the last ten years, between everything ending and then coming back. Homo-Superior became a phrase Sam had to learn. Aliens co-existed (and co-populated) with humans. Multiverses. Every day, there seemed to be new fallout from old battles. Kids who trained themselves, kids who were exposed to some material that affected them, kids who picked up artifacts they shouldn't have. Half of the new semi-Avengers weren't even out of college. Or younger.

Pepper had been part of this, so Sam trusted it. He and Stark didn't see eye to eye often, but Pepper had honored Stark's memory and legacy in a way that surpassed what was already there. He kept a wary eye on alphabet soup officials, but no one particularly bad, aside from the obvious, seemed to be around.

There were other heroes. Faces Sam recognized and friends he missed. Barton was around and Sam had almost melted in relief to see him. Pepper, of course. A few others he recognized from the news but hadn't met yet. He had been introduced to a few at the beginning of the evening but the trend had trickled off as the night wore on and heroes lost their handlers. Funny how, even at something like this, people wanted heroes controlled. 

It wasn't until he saw Belova that something finally clicked in his brain. The woman with 64 names wouldn't just be here by herself. She took her new menagerie with her everywhere. Sam just about spun on his heel to figure out where Belova had come from and found the rest of her team standing a little awkwardly by the door. Except for the one who wasn't.

Bucky was striding after Belova, calling after her under his breath. Sam couldn't hear him but he knew exactly what he sounded like–the quiet, irritated hiss of his words, the way he'd press his lips together and clench his jaw. Sam had been on the other side of it often.

He looked good. Actually, he looked amazing. He'd filled out again and was wearing a suit Sam had never seen. It fit him snugly and clung to all the new-old muscles of his legs and his chest and his arms and his ass. At first, Sam thought the suit was black but then Bucky stepped under a sconce and Sam realized it was a dark burgundy velvet with black silk lapels. He was wearing a black turtleneck under it, which he kept yanking away from his throat. Which, yeah. Sam wasn't sure who dressed him, but Bucky hated most things touching his neck. But, damn if it wasn't a pretty look. His beard had come in, full and kempt. And his hair.

Sam liked the short hair. It made Bucky look boyish and charming, took off decades worth of suffering. And it had been a whole part of him regaining his own autonomy and getting used to his reflection again. It was clean and fluffy and it curled on the really humid days. Sam's fingers fit right into it short. There was always a little downy at the base of his neck that, when Sam played with it, could put Bucky right out like warm milk.

His hair was not short right now. It was long enough that he had it wrapped in a neat bun on the back of his head. Pieces fluttered around his face, which seemed to be aggravating him as much as the turtleneck. He didn't have a bunch of product in it–a miracle, honestly–and Sam just wanted to put his fingers through it. Pull out the ponytail holder and massage away the tension of having it tied back.

Bucky caught Belova’s wrist and she barely even reacted. She just gestured across the room and Sam watched Bucky’s eyes snap up towards him. It felt like a physical crash when their gazes met and Sam watched Bucky forget about keeping Belova in line–as if that was possible–in favor of crossing the room towards Sam. Sam had prepared himself for a real collision, but Bucky came up short just before his hands could land on Sam’s waist.

“What are you doing here?” he asked in a far softer way than Sam was expecting.

“Man, I should be asking you that. Where have you been?” Sam asked. He had less self control than Bucky, and he reached for Bucky’s suit coat to drag him closer. At that point, Bucky broke too and wrapped Sam so tightly in his arms, Sam actually lost breath. Still, he just pressed his face against Bucky’s shoulder, pressed his cheek against the coolness of the metal that was coming through his suit. “God, I’ve missed you,” he sighed.

“Not the way I’ve missed you,” Bucky answered and held him tighter. He put his face against the top of Sam’s head, took a deep breath that tickled Sam’s scalp, and just stood there. “Do you know how hard it is to know exactly where you are but not be able to go to you?”

The words sent a deeply possessive, needy shiver through Sam. “We’re both here now,” he breathed. He found Bucky’s elbows, stepped away just enough to hold onto him. “Come on, let’s make the most of it before one of us has to disappear again.”

Continue on AO3

[doombum]

A little something for the #CC Weekend Bash by @and-stir-the-stars

Friday 5th: Nightmare / Blood / Fun

Trigger warnings (it all starts one paragraph before the part in italics, the rest is pretty much fluff): Blood, Panic attack, Graphic descriptions of violence (this part is in italics), Bullying (a bit)

Evan was ecstatic. He couldn't believe it.

Someone had just come up to him and invited him to play together. Him. The weird, silent kid nobody wanted to talk to.

He wanted to jump in joy and tell all about how he felt to Fredbear, but he refrained from it, not wanting to weird out what could become his very first friend. He couldn't show how much of a loser he was.

Though he seemed to be doing a bad job at it as he was taken out of his thoughts by the young girl - Cassidy, she’d said her name was Cassidy - waving a hand in front of his face. “Hello ? You still here ?”

He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, a nervous laugh coming up his throat as he meekly apologised. “Sorry. I was just thinking…”

“It's okay !” She smiled at him before grabbing his hand and pulling him with her as she ran away. He stumbled over himself, almost falling to the ground several times as he let her lead him to another area of the playground, away from the other kids.

They stopped abruptly and she caught him before he could faceplant on the ground. Her cheerful laughter filled his ears as he struggled to catch his breath, holding onto Fredbear for dear life.

“Come on !!” Cassidy barely gave him the time to get his bearings before she bounced away, kicking a couple of dead leaves that had started to gather on the ground as the weather grew colder.

He could only watch in awe, as she let herself fall onto a pile of them, making them fly all around her, before she sat back up, her hair a complete mess, and looked at him inquisitively. He squirmed under her gaze, feeling a bit intimidated by her carefree attitude, but he slowly advanced forward anyway in a burst of new found courage.

She laughed again at his antics, but it didn’t sound mocking like it did when Michael snickered at him and, as such, the familiar sense of shame was replaced by a small timid laugh of his own.

When he got close enough to her, she suddenly caught his shirt and pulled him to the floor with her. He gasped in shock, bracing himself for the impact he was sure to come, only to open his eyes in surprise as he realised the leaves had cushioned his fall. Another giggle left his throat and he let himself play around in the pile, watching as the red and brown leaves flew all around him in a beautiful explosion of colours.

“You’re weird.” He stopped at the words and slowly sat back up, his cheek warming in embarrassment. He glanced at her, expecting to see the usual judgmental gaze his peers would give him in class, but he came to a stop when he noticed her cheerful smile. Before he could ask about it, Cassidy threw a handful of leaves onto his face, taking him by surprise and making her laugh hysterically at his reaction. He found himself relaxing at the realisation that she had not been trying to insult him and, her playful attitude starting to rub off on him, he decided to reciprocate her actions, silencing her as she caught a bunch of leaves in her mouth and was forced to spit it out.

By the time they stopped play fighting on the ground, Evan’s face started to hurt with how much he had been smiling and laughing. They were lying on the ground now, panting in exhaustion, but quiet giggles still left them once in a while as they struggled to catch their breath. He couldn’t remember when was the last time he’d had this much fun.

It was as he went to squeeze Fredbear in an attempt to contain his excitement and not look weird as he felt the need to flail around, that he realised his beloved plush was not in his arms anymore. He quickly sat back up, tears starting to form in his eyes and a knot forming in his stomach as he frantically looked around until he spotted the yellow bear lying in the leaves not too far from him, probably having fallen down during their tussle. He let out a relieved breath and tried to calm the fidgeting in his hands as he crawled to the plush and cradled it to his chest.

“Is that a Fredbear plushie ?” In his panicked state, Evan had failed to notice Cassidy sitting back up and approaching him curiously, and he flinched as he turned only to come face to face with her, not having expected her to be so close.

She noticed his reaction and backed off a bit, apologising for startling him. He smiled a bit, amazed at how nice she was, before nodding shyly at her question and mumbling an affirmation under his breath.

She reached a careful hand, going slowly so as to not surprise him, to get a feel of the plushie’s soft fur. “Where did you find it ? I’ve never seen any plush for him before.”

He hesitated a bit, remembering his father’s warning about people trying to befriend him only to get free merchandise, but decided that Cassidy seemed trustworthy enough. “It’s a prototype. My dad made it.”

“That’s so cool !” She stroked the fur of his plush carefully, excitement written all over her face, but to Evan’s surprise, she didn’t pry any further and didn’t ask if she could borrow it or anything.

Instead, she sat next to him and fished something out of her pocket. She held it to his face, making him have to lean away a little to see it properly and realise it was one of the Fredbear mini figurines that were available at the prize counter of his dad’s restaurant. “He’s my favourite.”

He smiled at that. “Me too !” He might be afraid of the actual animatronics, but the yellow bear was still the one he favoured the most. He just wished he wasn’t so tall and intimidating, that’s why his beloved plush was much better than the real deal, in his opinion.

“Really ?” She sounded surprised as he nodded shyly. “I’m glad some people still love the originals, everyone always prefers the new crew nowadays.”

Evan couldn’t help but agree with that. Ever since his father’s latest animatronics were announced - Freddy, Bonnie, Chica and Foxy - they had gathered a lot of enthusiasm among the other kids in his class, so much so that almost no-one ever talked about Fredbear or Springbonnie anymore. They were still liked, of course, and the restaurant was still as successful as ever, but people were really excited about the new location and so that was the main topic in everybody’s lips.

“I don’t like them much…” He admitted in a low voice, a part of him scared that his dad or his brother would overhear him and scold him for badmouthing the new animatronics. But only Cassidy was around and she laughed freely at his words.

“Yeah, me neither. They’re kind of silly.” Evan snickered at her blunt honesty. “I mean, why even add more of them ? What was wrong with the originals ?”

He shrugged when she looked at him expectantly. He had no idea why his dad and uncle Henry had decided to open a new location and make a whole new set of robots for it. It was probably something about attractiveness, that’s what his dad always talked about - bringing more people into coming to his restaurant.

“Meh, doesn’t matter.” Seeing he didn’t have an answer for her, she took him out of his reflection and started to get up from the ground, dusting herself off. For a second, he was scared he had failed to be interesting enough for her to want to be his friend, but she then offered him a hand. “Want to go to the swings ?”

He smiled at her offer, trying to hide his excitement as he reached for her hand. But before he could grab it, he was suddenly sent toppling to the ground and his grip on Fredbear loosen as it was pulled away from him. He landed harshly, feeling tears coming up his eyes as he looked up to see who had pushed him, only to freeze when he was met with one of Mike’s friends, his signature Bonnie mask attached loosely around his head.

“Well, well. If it isn’t the little crybaby.” The older boy held his plush in one hand, taunting him with a smirk.

“G-give him b-back !” He tried to stop the sobs, hyper aware of Cassidy’s presence, but unable to help the wobbling of his voice. His eyes were riveted on his plush and he felt like he couldn’t breath. His vision blurred with tears, he shakily got up, terrified out of his mind, but determined to get Fredbear back.

“Ohh~ the little guy is feeling brave !” Bonniebro - or whatever his name was - waved the toy around, not caring for Evan’s panicked pleas to be careful.

He reached for it, but was pushed to the ground again, this time roughly landing on his hands and knees. He winced as he felt a sharp pain at the impact and shook as he struggled to sit back down, only to wish he hadn’t when he got sight of his scraped knees. The sight of the blood dripping down his legs made the bill rise up in his stomach and he suddenly felt lightheaded. Through tears and wails, he tried to clean the mess, only for it to spread even more and make it even worse.

That was it, the nightmarish animatronics hunting him down had finally got to him. They had found him. They had come into his house in the night and ripped his body to shreds. Their giant jaws had broken his body in pieces. He could feel their claws shredding his stomach, their teeth crushing his skull. It was agony, pure agony.

He trashed in the strong hold trying to force him down. He couldn't breathe. He couldn’t think. There was blood everywhere. It was clouding his vision. Red, red, it was everywhere. He couldn’t stop it from flooding. His conscience was dropping, he felt like he was gonna pass out. He screamed at the tops of his lungs, praying for someone, anyone, to save him.

His thoughts came to a halt as his hands came into contact with soft fabric unexpectedly. He gasped for air, quickly recognising the fluffy object as his beloved Fredbear plush and he clutched it tightly against his chest.

As he tried to ground himself, lightly feeling the toy’s fur, he finally took notice of the hand stroking his hair and the arm around his waist guiding his body in a soft back and forth motion. Despite how calming the motions felt, he stiffened at the unfamiliar feeling.

He started to trash around, wanting to get away from the stranger’s hold, but it only tightened around him, sending him into another wave of panic. Before he could shout again, though, a rough, annoyed voice broke through his rising fear. “Stop that ! It’s just me.”

He froze at the familiar voice and tentatively opened his eyes, blinking through the tears and raising his head to see Mike holding him close to his chest, a scowl on his face. Despite the stiffness of the hold, and the obvious annoyance in his brother’s tone, Evan found himself relaxing in the older boy’s arms.

He exhaled shakily, looking away from Michael to try to get his bearings. It was then that he noticed the crowd of people surrounding him. A bunch of adults looked worried, but most of the kids had mocking grins on their faces, giggling to one another while pointing at him. He saw his sister standing on the side, looking embarrassed by his behaviour and ready to yell at him for causing a scene. He felt his cheeks heating up in shame at all the attention and pulled himself closer to his brother with a whimper, hiding his face in the older’s chest. He felt more than he heard the annoyed scoff that it earned him, but he paid it no mind.

Distantly, he could make out a girl’s voice, scolding the crowd and telling them to leave him alone. Even as he listened to the people dispersing, he didn’t move from his spot until a careful hand touched his shoulder. He tensed at the contact, but relaxed again when he recognized Cassidy’s voice. “They’re gone now.”

He shyly looked at her, expecting her to mock him or look embarrassed to be seen near him, but she only seemed worried for him. “Thank you.” He muttered under his breath.

“You done causing a scene over nothing ?” He winced at Liz’s sneering comment and he started to apologise weakly when Cassidy cut him off.

“Don’t talk to him like that ! It’s not his fault.” Evan’s eyes widened at the defensive tone, not used to people standing up for him.

He smiled a bit to himself, but, upon seeing his sister’s fingers twitching in anger, he quickly intervened, not wanting the two girls to start fighting because of him. “It’s okay, Cassidy.” She looked back at him, ready to protest but stopped herself at his pleading look. “Please.”

She seemed to contemplate it for a moment, but ultimately backed off, even though she still looked angry at Lizzie, who only smirked at her in victory.

Before she could brag about it, Mike cut her off and started to push Evan off. “Come on, get off of me. We need to get back home.” He struggled to get back up, wobbly on his feet and legs stinging sharply. If it wasn’t for Mike holding him up, he probably would have fallen right back down.

He looked down at himself, confused by the pain, only to be remembered of his fall and his subsequent panic at the view of blood by the sight of bandaids over both of his knees. His lips wobbled at the memory and he started sniffing quietly as he struggled to walk.

“Don’t go start crying again, crybaby.” He could hear the irritation in Michael’s voice and tried to stifle his cries so as to not anger him further. That didn’t seem to work very well and he let out a yelp as he was suddenly picked up from the ground, and into his brother's arms, forcing him to hold onto Mike's neck.

“Wimp.” He looked down at Lizzie, seeing her roll her eyes at him, but didn't answer, remaining quiet as they started to walk away.

“Wait !” Before they could leave the park, however, Cassidy ran in front of Mike. Evan looked at her curiously, a bit worried that she would tell him that she didn’t want him to talk to her ever again - like most other kids did. He was taken by surprise when, instead of that, she beamed at him. “Today was fun ! Maybe we can play together again next time ?”

He gaped at her, at a loss for words, before he fully processed what she said and hesitantly nodded, a giggle leaving him when she winked at him before saying goodbye and going her own way.

As they made their way back home, Evan stroked Fredbear plush, lost deep in thoughts and ignoring his siblings’ mocking jabs about Cassidy and the pain in his knees. Despite what had happened later in the day, playing with Cassidy had to have been the most fun he’s ever had in his life, and he was excited to be able to see her again - he couldn’t wait to tell all about it to the rest of his plushies.

[kittycatautism]

Friday, May 17, 2024

I was about to start typing but I just realized I think I’ve written my past entries as 2023 rather than 2024 so give me a moment… ok I have returned and they are fine apparently I’m just being silly!

Anyways!!! Not my normal posting day, I know, but I want to talk about ✨chronic illness/pain✨ today because I have some words!

I am 21, and yet I have had constant body pain since I was about 10 or 11 years old. I am just realized as I type this that I’ve been dealing with this horseshit for ten fucking years, most of which without help!!! Wonderful!!!!!!!

My doctor of the past, was an awful awful doctor. When I first came to him as a tiny 10-11 year old child about having pain in my back and legs and hands, he told me “you’re just fat and lazy, you need to work out more. You’re too young to know what pain feels like”. When I came to him a couple years later, the pain more than doubled, he said “your depression is making you think you’re in physical pain, and you’re still fat. Just go for a walk once in a while and you’ll be fine and your depression will be cured”. I never talked about pain with him again because it was the same old answer - I was fat and lazy.

Fast forward a couple more years, I’m about 18 I’d say, and that fuckass doctor retires and I get a new doctor. Within months of seeing that doctor I decide to mention the pain, and instantly I am met with more care and compassion and understanding than I ever was before. I got scheduled for x rays and blood work and this, was the beginning of many many tests of all sorts to come.

Now I’m 21, and I have chronic pain and illness, one of which is identified as fibromyalgia, one of which is thought to be ehlors danlos syndrome, and who knows what else there is hiding in me. I’m a shit show of issues with little to no results from testing, which feels awful given my wonderful past experience!! I mean, I literally got gaslit that nothing is wrong with me for years and now I have someone who will listen and I feel like I have to fight to be heard because nothing shows up on these tests, when really in all honesty I know my doctor believes me. I just am so scared that he will one day go “Welp! Nothing seems to be here so everything is alright and you’re just not in pain! It’s all in your head!!!”, I know it won’t happen but I worry nonetheless.

I’ve been on a few medications, none of which have helped in any way whatsoever, and my pain is just getting worse and worse and is deteriorating my body. My bones creak, I can feel every muscle move, and it ALL hurts, head to toe. Some pain is electric, some is just a general ache, it all sucks. I can hardly get out of bed, and I have a whole set of stairs to walk down to go to the bathroom (which, by the way, I have an inconstancy problem and for those who don’t know that basically means I pee myself every day!), I use a walker to get around when I’m out and honestly should be using a cane in the house, it’s a lot and I’m just barely scratching the surface. I mean, I am literally waiting for my doctors office to open back up on Tuesday so I can call about my disability covering a fucking wheelchair!!

I’m pretty sure I have a disc out of place or a pinched nerve now too, which if I remember correctly means I get to have another mri (I hate mris). I have so much pain that is just suddenly coming on in the last few months AND even better I am in a flare up right now that’s lasting for fucking ever!!! I mean I have to use a bunch of my money to buy a pair of orthopaedic shoes now because regular shoes cause me so so so much pain!! This shit sucks man!

I’ve completely forgotten what I was gonna close this off with originally, but I just want to say that if you struggle with chronic illness/pain I see you and completely understand. I would kill to have my pain taken away, I genuinely wish I would break a bone so I could focus on that over this, anything has got to be better. And having problems mentally already does not help as my mental health has been down the drain lately, so thinking about my pain and what it’s taken from me sucks so bad. But I know I’ll get through it, probably with like 20 years off my life but still, eventually hopefully things will get better or at least tolerable. Thank you for reading this awfully long rant about pain and wish me luck in getting a wheelchair covered by my disability (more specifically getting a wheelchair that will fit in my tiny car to be covered)

Song of the week is The Moon Will Sing by The Crane Wives, I love this song so much ehehehheheheh

[imagine-that-fanfics]

Never let go of hope Pt1

So I did it… I rewrote the first part phew, it is so much better than when I first wrote it 6 years ago lmao, I’ll start on rewriting the next parts asap. Anyway hope y’all enjoy

Part 2

My life at home was terrible just downright depressing, my mother cared more for my siblings than myself in fact she never really cared for me at all, I was always left to my own means. Lord knows who my father is, the only thing my mother would ever say about him was how much a waste of space he was, I never really had friends either, I was alone in this world and I wanted nothing more to do with it. I had been a story as a child of a land, a land of magic, a land of wonder, a land where children were free to roam, free to be and do whatever they want, somewhere where they all belonged. I dreamed of leaving, finding that somewhere I belonged but nothing ever did come my way, that was until that fateful night.

One night as I was drifting off to the land of sleep, I could suddenly feel a presence as if something was watching over me, I instinctively opened my eyes and grabbed the nearest ‘weapon’ , unfortunately for me said weapon was in-fact just an old stuffed bear which would be most likely no help at all, once my eyes had gotten used to the darkness once more I saw that there was in-fact no one there. I assumed that I had just been paranoid, that it was all in my head and I had convinced myself of that fact, up until, out of the corner of my eye I suddenly caught a glimpse of a shadow, I practically shit myself I mean who wouldn't? I called out hoping to sound as confident as possible however it ended up coming out in a small shaky manner "w-who, what are you?" The shadows eyes began to glow, no response, I stared back at the figure, something was telling me to stay away from it to run away and never look back, and yet something just some little thing deep inside of me told me to get up and get closer to this mysterious shadow. The shadow held out its hand beckoning me to take it, once again I had that uneasy feeling but something inside me told me to take its hand. Slowly I walked towards the shadow and took its hand, its eyes seemed to glow brighter once I had, the next thing I knew everything had turned pitch black.

As I slowly began to gain consciousness I could hear the faint sound of male voices, I decided that for the moment it’d be best if I continued to pretend that I was still unconscious, some of the voices mangled together filled with excitement, curiosity and some even sounded blood thirst? some of the voices sounded awfully young. Where was I? And why am I surrounded by a bunch of boy? "who is that?" one of the voices questioned "how did she get here?" a much younger sounding boy also asked as if someone already knew the answer "do you think the shadow brought her?" "no way! Why would it bring a girl to the island?" That’s when the boys decided that instead of checking if I was even alive in the first place having an argument on how I got here was much more important. Suddenly a loud whistle filled the air causing the boys to stop immediately "Now, what the bloody hell is going on here!?" a loud voice had asked, I could sense the hesitation from the previously rowdy boys, after a while a young boys voice spoke up "there's a girl here Pan" the boy sounded scared to be talking (that should have been my second clue as to how this would possibly turn out the first being the uneasy feeling I had when the shadow showed up) “is she dead?” the older boy he called Pan asked "w-we don't know" suddenly a third boy braved himself and joined in "how did she get here Pan? is she part of on of your plans?" (third clue) "No if she was I would have known she was coming and I don't know how or why she is here"

I began to feel someone approach me, I thought that now would be a good time as any to get up, I sprung up on to my feet and took a fighting stance, not that I was in any sort of ability to fight right now my head still feeling as if it were about to split open, just in case, as I got up I heard gasps from the boys and decided to take a good look around, my chances of getting out of here starting to look even slimmer, what I saw surprised me to say the least they were all just young boys, some younger than others but no older than myself "who are you?, where am I?, where did that freaky ass shadow go?" the older boy had taken a step closer, I assumed that he was the one they called Pan. I swear the way he looked at me to begin with was with utter shock but he immediately hid it with a smirk "whoa, whoa princess calm down...” he said in such a cocky arrogant manner that made me wanna punch him right there and then “hm so it was the shadow that brought you here?" he furrowed his brow, he seemed unsure what to make of all of this himself "well seeing as the last thing I remember is that shadow being in my room I’m going to have to go with yes” my eyes continued to scan my surroundings looking for an easy escape if needed, unfortunately I was completely surrounded which was honestly just my luck “now tell me, where the bloody hell am I?" I spat, if I had to fight my way out then so be it. the boy smirked as if he knew the thoughts running through my brain "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't welcome you properly... welcome to Neverland" my eyes widened slightly… Neverland!? This was Neverland? It looked and felt nothing like the Neverland I had been told of however a small part of me knew he was telling the truth, that this was in fact the Neverland I had been dreaming of coming to only it was different than what I had hoped. I looked around at the boys standing around me I saw a few had scars on their faces, their clothes covered in old dirt and blood each one of them had some sort of weapon at their disposal, I hadn’t noticed that before the adrenaline blinding me of the very obvious fact I was outnumbered and unarmed, I eased up my stance there was no way I was fighting all these boys not without getting myself killed anyway "Neverland?... hm alright… so then tell me, who are you?" I asked, although I already knew or at least I assumed I knew who he was and who those boys were but I also needed the confirmation, I needed to hear it from someone else. he got a little closer "Of course I should properly introduce myself too, the names Pan, Peter Pan and these” he motioned to the boys around us “are the lost boys".

[youtiaoshutiao]

young blood || 大宋少年志 → episode 25

Wang Kuan and Yanei: the best wingmen/captains of the #XinZhao ship in Kaifeng, China

[interv4ls]

Bound - Kaz Brekker x Reader

A/N: Hello, everyone! Here I am again with another work. This was highly inspired by the music Bound by Wet, love this one. And here I tried something different to write, Kaz is a bit of a prick but managed a way to a good end. Hope you like it :)

Summary: What is about seeing signs and thinking about leaving Kaz.

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Reader

Warnings: angsty, prick Kaz (sorry for any writing or grammar mistake)

Words count: 1,952

There had been times. Times when she was sniffing as unsound as she could, sobbing under the shower and crying quietly. Once her mother told her not to fall in love with just another man in the world. He should be kind, fair, treat her right and love her deeply – just as she loved him. They should respect each other; they should take a life with the true meaning of love.

Of course her mother never thought her daughter would be in Ketterdam, working with a bunch of young robbers, gambling and making money out of things they never taught her. But life had had its ways, that was the difficult part, and (Y/N) had to deal with it. She thought she dealt it well, with all its surroundings. She had a roof over her head, a comfortable bed, shower and food anytime, friends that she considered family and even a special one in her heart.

But right now, the situation seemed far from kind or fair. Kaz and (Y/N) had a long path and sometimes she recognized some advancement but others, like this one, everything seemed to go to dust in seconds and all she thought she knew of that man, were actually built in sand blocks and a wave came over them and then, nothing left. (Y/N) felt she was bound to him, blood and time, no matter how hard it was to get through him and his tall walls but she managed to a time or other – sometimes she found herself forgiving him without the word ‘sorry’ getting out of his lips – that made her think that he never thought of fault in any of those moments, why would he say sorry to her?

But then the midnight talks came, the amazing work they did together while in heists, unspoken thoughts they just caught from each other in the air, stolen glances and shy side-smiles from her. But in the last few months, Kaz had been far away. (Y/N) was never sure if it was about work, he had the ability to get stressed out and blow words – she had seen it, but never been through it. Not yet, she didn’t doubt at this point.

He was never close, never there for her. No time, much work, much to think about, no time again. All seemed a great ball of boredom he was ditching, and (Y/N) couldn’t help but suffer in silence. The worst option, of all, was that he didn’t love her anymore. That the feelings of Dirtyhands overcame Kaz Brekker and he decided, alone, to shut her out. Until it was tiring enough for her to not bare it anymore.

There were signs though. One time, Jesper made a comment about her baggy eyes and the tip of her nose red. She always said it was the weather but even if the days were sunny, that cloudy façade of hers never went away. And Kaz never pointed out. Never, once, talked to her about it and how could he? She could count in one hand the times he actually looked at her.

One of those was when a heist went wrong. Kaz snapped at her earlier and suddenly, the only thing passing through her mind was that. His words, eyes and tone of voice.

“Don’t get funny there, (Y/N). Do what I tell you to do. I am your boss.”

Her mother would scream at her to the end if she heard that and some part of (Y/N)’s brain was already doing that. She wanted to scold him, tell him she was not some investment of his, that she had feeling and that all they’ve been through mattered. But she found no strength to say it, feeling her hands tied.

Since her attention was far away, she missed one of Inej’s sign and the whole plan went to waste with merely minutes. And Kaz was red with anger, all of them in his office and Inej shot some kind looks to the girl drowned in the chair. He was sitting on his chair, eyes focused on the table and silence all over the room. (Y/N) felt as if the whole building weighted on her shoulders and she felt as if Kaz had invisible hands over her brain that time, tormenting her thoughts and breathing heavily.

“I wonder how many times you will screw up. Makes me overthink some decisions.”

He was really reflecting about them? Was it a mistake? Maybe leaving was a good resolution, Kaz being away of her incompetence and (Y/N) away from the hurt that walls did to her. She was sitting on her bed, crying again and thinking about what to do. After those moments, some little things happened actually – nothing more aggressive – but the feeling of him slipping away and never seeming to care was killing her.

(Y/N) thought that angry words shot at her were better than that – at least then, she would have a flag of how Kaz felt. But right now, she felt her hands empty in signs but full of shut screams she wanted to give out in the air. It was tiring, trying to pretend nothing hurt her and waiting for another chance to be bland, finally. (Y/N) had been through her things, thinking how much of baggage she would have but just the thought of really leaving the place grabbed her by the stomach and suddenly her body weighted on blue.

She heard two knocks on her door. She stood quiet; no excuse would make sense to how puffy her face was. But then the sound repeated and she wanted to sigh out loud.

“I know you’re in there, (Y/N).” His voice was muffled in the wooden door. “Open it.”

She closed her eyes and some last tears rolled over her face.

“Please.” He said again.

Maybe she would regret it. It felt as if a cycle was developing between them, this game of never saying anything as if it was a sin so, they never got out of place. (Y/N) got up and walked up to the door, she tried to dry her face with her sleeve before opening the door and seeing Kaz in a coat she loved and wearing a golden crow pin she once afforded in the market. The way his face was so recorded in her memory scared her way too much.

“What happened to you?” He asked with a frown.

“I feel awesome, don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t go passive-aggressive on me, (Y/N). We passed this phase.” Good, so there are phases! she thought to herself. “If you do not mind, I would like to talk to you but not in the corridor.”

She opened space without talking anything and Kaz entered the room. He saw some clothes on her table and other things splattered all over her bead, was she rearranging things? Was this some state of mania? Kaz considered getting a medik to take a more technical look on her but he spotted a bag opened in the end of the room.

“Traveling?” He waved around the room and she crossed her arms against her chest.

“Thinking about it, actually.” Forever.

“Never cared to tell me?” He looked at her properly. Her face was marked with tiredness and stains of crying. Kaz remembered now when Jesper told him that he was noticing something going on with (Y/N) – but Kaz never thought of a way to abord the subject and work had been getting more overwhelming, she screwed up sometimes, he screwed up another ones – the whole scenery was getting much on his nerves to deal with. But seeing her in this state, he thought it over.

“Didn’t think that it would make a difference to you.” She shot.

“C’mon, (Y/N). What are we talking about in here? What’s really happening?” She sighed and Kaz wondered if there was still air in her lungs after it.

“I am tired of whatever if happening, Kaz. This whole thing. This hide and seek we’re always in. I thought we were going somewhere, that maybe this meant the same thing to you as it means to me.” (Y/N) felt her voice trembling and her thoughts occurring fast. “I am trying my hardest to not let it go through me but it feels dreading, it’s consuming every part of my body and soul, I think you don’t love me anymore.”

He widened his eyes at the speech. He had no idea things got this far, realizing he took things too far, that the days were passing by without him even seeing her shadow or hearing her giggle. Only scolding her, making comments and treating her badly – it wasn’t hard to puzzle the willing to leave. He made every thing a huge sign for her to keep distance and it had got the best of them.

“(Y/N)…”

“I don’t need pity, I want your sincerity. It’s not scary being in this situation anymore but I feel almost in the border so please…” She took a whole breath. “Just tell the truth.”

“I-I…” Kaz was trying his hard to the knots on his brain find the words. They should be fast, the time had, he wasted making her feel miserable. “I love you. I really do and I… Apologize for things that happened, that had been said. I never wanted you to leave.”

“Really? It was quite the opposite of what appeared to be.”

“And I am truly regretting it. Things got out of hand and I am here, willing to hear you and to clarify you that… I want you near because days had been miserable and a dreadful result of not having you around.”

“But why get away from me? Why the whole attitude? Have you any clue of how harsh some words came to me? I am not your punch bag, Kaz.”

“I never meant to make you feel this way. I think…” Kaz was exasperated, everything now in his head was screaming to let her go. “I don’t know how to deal with these things and you get to me so easily, I get scared by the feeling, afraid that it could get in my senses and if something ever happened to you, I’d be lost.”

(Y/N) was out of breath. Never in too much time he expressed so many feelings to her in words, Kaz was not romantic, but he had this behavior of his to talk with his eyes.

“Nothing, though, excuse what I did. I will understand if you decide to leave and I apologize again.” (Y/N) took a step ahead and stood face to face with Kaz, in a considerable distance, still she couldn’t risk anything.

“But do you want me to stay?”

Kaz got trapped between his heart and his mind. He always thought that (Y/N) deserved better, that she sometimes dreamed about a future he could give her, so maybe (Y/N)  being on her own was for the best. But his heart ache with the thought of her leaving the Slat, the Crows and his life.

“I do.”

She contained a wide smile but the happiness hit her chest fully and she clenched her fists, trying to not throw her arms around his neck and feeling the relief of his words flowing through her ears one more time.

“Then this is all I need.”

Kaz clenched his jaw trying to not let words slip his mouth and making him more regretful – mean words or good ones, they all seemed to make him a hostage. He raised his hand slowly and brushed a lock of hair behind (Y/N) ‘s ear.

“Thank you. For another chance.”

“Try to use it properly this time.”

[skiller0dani]

Broken Paradise | Spencer Reid

M A S T E R L I S T Criminal Minds Masterlist

smut requests info wc | 9.1k summary | you run into an ex boyfriend during an interrogation. except it's you being interrogated, and it's your ex boyfriend doing the interrogating.

song

another draft just waiting to be published. really obsessing over Spencer Reid.

also there's mentions of abortion, nothing graphic it's literally just a short direct reference and nothing else.

You always hear people say your past will come back to haunt you, you just didn't know they meant literally. You leaned back against the metal chair in the interrogation room, you've been in here for what felt like hours. You couldn't complain too much seeing as it's your fault that you're in here at all. You wished they'd come in and tell you something, give you an update, say hi, say anything. You seriously underestimated how maddening silence can be. You knew little about the murders the police were investigating, something about druggie women being found mutilated. The pictures they showed you were downright horrifying, you'd need at least one solid bottle of tequila to forget the bodies of those poor women.

The Las Vegas Police Department were a bunch of judgmental pigs, the only reason they'd brought you here at all was because you were from the wrong side of the tracks. Both of your parents were users, and if you were lucky, also dead. They probably assumed you used as well, and seeing as you seemed to fit the killers physical preference the police brought you in for questioning and also for your own "safety". But really you knew they didn't give a damn about your safety, they just wanted to know where you got your shit from. No matter how many times you insisted you didn't use, they kept pushing. When one male officer started throwing your parents in your face, you stood up and promptly broke his nose. That's how you landed yourself cuffed to the table, tightly.

"Oh thank you so much for gracing me with your presence once more." You smiled sarcastically as another officer walked in, wait he's definitely not an officer. The man who entered the room had cleanly cut dark hair, and wore an expensive looking black suit. Not the run of the mill beat cop that you were expecting. You bit back any other fiery remarks, if you wanted to get the hell out of here you needed to cooperate. Diana would be expecting you, not that you were itching to see her but after letter number 75 of her begging you to swing by- well lets just say that Spencer's mother was never the problem. You doubt Spencer even knew Diana was contacting you, which was good. You wanted nothing at all to do with him.

"I'm Agent Hotchner here with the FBI I need to ask you a few questions." This man was all business, you seriously had to fight the urge to fuck with him a little bit.

"I'd shake your hand but..." Your eyes flickered towards the table, where the police officer who's nose you broke had very tightly handcuffed you. In fact he cuffed you so tightly that your wrists were already raw and bleeding a bit.

"They wouldn't have handcuffed you if you didn't punch an officer. Did he hit a nerve?" The Agent's face was level, and gave nothing away as to what he was thinking. You tongued the inside of your cheek, your foot tapping quickly on the concrete floor. These assholes were really starting to piss you off.

"He was being a dick, how many times do I have to tell you guys that I don't use? Are your heads filled with sawdust?" You snapped roughly, yanking away from him to lean back in your chair despite the biting pain in your wrists.

"That's not why I'm here Miss Y/L/N." Agent Hotchner said, his voice even and his eyes on you. The way he was looking at you made you feel exposed, like he could read all of your secrets because of the way your eye twitches when you're nervous. You hate these damn FBI profilers- wait.

"How's Spencer?" It's a shot in the dark, a very long shot in a very dark tunnel. Before the scumbag left you without warning, Spencer mentioned that someone was trying to recruit him for the BAU department of the FBI. The profilers. Spencer left and never came back, two guesses as to where he went. Your eyes locked onto the Agent's in front of you, and from the slight upturn at the corner of his brow you knew you got him. Spencer is here.

"You know Dr. Reid?"

"So he's a Doctor now, doesn't surprise me. Let me guess, he has PHD's and Doctorates in Math, Chemistry and something to do with Geography right?" You say as casually as you can and you can only hope this man is wondering how you happen to know so much about one of his Agents.

"Unless I'm speaking to Spencer Reid, I want my lawyer." You snap, leaning back. You know Spencer won't talk to you, and unless they have physical proof you're guilty of something they'll have to let you go.

Check mate.

//

Spencer couldn't ignore the questioning glances from his fellow teammates even if he'd wanted to. He watched you lean back in your chair from the other side of the one way glass, what are the chances that you are wrapped up in this case? You of all young petite blonde women in the metro area. The world was fucking with him, it had to be.

"She a friend of yours?" Derek's voice was the first to cut through the silence.

"No." One word answers were the safest route, the shortest diction would give little time for them to draw information out of the way Spencer was speaking. There was a tremble in his tone, he knew there was. Spencer prided himself for having little to no baggage behind him, but of all unopened suitcases- his previous relationship with you was the largest one.

"Really? Cause she seems to know a lot about you." Derek said, his eyes fixed on Spencer. The tension in the room was palpable, and suddenly it felt hard for Spencer to breathe let alone compose himself. After shoving free from the small viewing room, Spencer found it a lot easier to exist without the scrutinizing gazes of his coworkers.

"You hear her?" It was Hotch, with a patiently guarded expression on his face. Spencer and drugs wasn't an uncommon problem, although in the past his poison of choice was dilaudid. Now there's a string of drug related murders and a possible junky who seems to know a lot about him.

"Yeah, from before the Bureau." Spencer clarified quickly, and Hotch honestly looked the tiniest bit relieved.

"Think you could talk to her, she's made it obvious she won't talk to any of us." Hotch said, and from the tension building in Spencer's shoulders he can tell there's some bad blood between the two of you. Spencer took a deep breath before taking all of those unresolved emotions and forcefully shoving them down. Deep, deep down. It's time to do a job, there's a missing woman who needs to be saved.

//

When that door opened again, you thought you'd won. You thought they were coming to begrudgingly release you. Instead you were met by the big doey eyes of Spencer Reid, your first and last love. All the air was stolen from your lungs in an instant, the memories flood back and you can't stop them. The anger rises then, this is the first time you've seen him since he left you. The one person you trusted not to leave you did, he left like everyone leaves you. Like your parents left you. He's very clearly all business, his face hardly giving anything away as he swiftly reached down to unlock the handcuffs around your wrists. If you wanted to walk away from this without your heart getting broken you needed the upper hand.

"Heya baby." You smiled, you hoped that maybe it would disarm him. At least a little, but when you looked at him all you saw was a stoic and focused expression. Nothing? Really?

"I need to ask you a few questions Miss Y/L/N." Spencer's voice was controlled, even in tone. His voice... God his voice could bring you right to tears. You could still hear him saying how much he loved you with that stupidly angelic voice of his. Spencer was very quickly taking control of the situation and you did not like that at all.

"You know you can ask me anything, there's no secrets between us right Spence?" You leaned forward on your elbows, trying desperately to ignore the throbbing in your wrists. One of Spencer's biggest giveaways is eye contact, when he's upset or feels guilty he'll avoid looking into your eyes. You turn your gaze up to meet his, but once again you're completely disarmed to see him unabashedly looking into your eyes like it isn't a problem at all. Either Spencer has amnesia and forgot who you were, or what happened between you two doesn't hurt him like it hurts you. You refuse to believe it's the latter, he just forgot. Definitely forgot. Somehow he must have forgot.

"Nina Fredricks, have you ever seen her?" He slid a photo in front of you, you recognize her as the woman who was most recently kidnapped. Most recently being 12 hours ago so chances of her still being alive are unfortunately slim. You nibble on your lower lip, come to think of it you actually might have seen her.

"Yeah, saw her at Winchell's, little coffee shop on the corner of 5th? You remember right Spence? You used take me there all the time, I loved giving you head under the table." You smirk, but it quickly falters. Whatever training he went through must have stripped him of all emotion and turned him into a machine. Built only to solve cases and do nothing else. That wasn't the case however, you just didn't know how good Spencer is at compartmentalizing his emotions. He could only imagine the looks on his coworkers faces upon hearing you say that, at least he can just say you were lying to try and illicit some sort of reaction from him. They don't have to know that you totally used to slip under the table and swallow his cock in a diner full of people. They don't know about that side of him, and Spencer doesn't plan on changing that.

"When?" He presses on with the interview, and surprisingly you're forthcoming with information when you're speaking to Spencer. Even after all this time, he has this annoying power over you. This innate ability to get you to do whatever he wants you to, although you would prefer him to use this special ability in the bedroom. No! No you have to eradicate thoughts like that, Spencer hurt you worse then anyone else ever has. He hurt you worse because he made you think he was going to stay, and then he didn't.

"Few nights ago, she looked really messed up though. Winchell threw her out, definitely doped up on something. Before you ask, no I didn't see where she went." You sigh, finally giving up flashing Spencer the all too familiar 'you win' look. Usually a victorious grin stretches across his face, but not this time. Those times are over.

"Did you see anybody with her?" You're not entirely surprised that Spencer isn't writing any of this down, that stupid eidetic memory. You're fooling yourself if you think he forgot what happened, Spencer never forgets anything. Ever.

"Every detail matters."

You genuinely try to remember if anybody was with Nina, and while you didn't see anyone you remember shortly after she left the diner there was this horrible screeching sound. "After Nina left I heard what sounded like tires screeching on the street. Never saw a car though."

"Thank you Miss Y/L/N, is there anything else you can remember about that night? Anything that sticks out?" After a few moments of quiet contemplation, you shake your head.

"Am I free to go?" You ask quietly and Spencer shakes his head.

"Unfortunately we're going to have to keep you in protective custody. We'll move you to a more comfortable room, but you'll need to stay in the precinct."

"But why? I'm not a drug addict-"

"You are exactly this killers type, and we don't know if looking a certain way is more important or if being a drug addict is when it comes to him choosing his victims." Spencer explains simply, his mouth moving a mile a minute as he stands. When he turns his eyes back on you, you realize he's waiting for you to follow him. You stand and follow him out of the cold interrogation room to a comfier waiting room. It has a table and chairs, vending machine and a big plush couch.

"You can stay in here, we'll let you know when it's safe to go home." Spencer says, and this is when you finally catch the crack in his façade. His eyes flicker away from yours, trying to disguise the waver in his voice, the desperation to vacate the room as quickly as he can. But now that you've seen him break, even a little, you're going to crack him wide open. You won't let it go that easily.

"Spencer?" Your voice is soft, with an innocent drawl that Spencer can't resist. He turns his head to look at you, swallowing thickly when his eyes meet yours.

"You do remember me don't you? Once upon a time we were in love." You see the rest of his coworkers trying and failing to look like they're not listening. But it's not like you care if they do, Spencer will though but luckily his back is to the door. After a few moments of tense silence, he finally speaks.

"Of course." It's not the answer you were hoping for but it's an admission, which is more then you were getting earlier.

"Do you miss me Spencer? Miss me in bed next to you?"

"W-Well I-"

"Do you miss when I used to cook your favorite dinner every night when you came over? Do you miss how I loved you unconditionally?" Your voice was steadily growing more hostile, and you knew there were tears building in your eyes. This has all been building up for so long you know you can't stop it now.

"Y/N-"

"Do you miss being able to fuck me whenever the hell you want? Is that what you miss the most Spencer? You must not miss me that much because when you left I didn't even get a fucking call! You didn't even say goodbye, you just left!" You were yelling now, with tears streaming down your face. Spencer had slyly shut the door by now, he knew this was going to happen the second he saw you. He wished he could help you understand why he had to leave the way he did. He was trying to protect you, and he still firmly believes he's protecting you. Look what happened to Haley, what happened to Maeve. Spencer loved Maeve and he lost her like Hotch lost Haley, and Spencer can't lose you. Not you. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if something happened to you.

"Please try to understand-" You never even let him get close to finishing his thought.

"Understand what? Leaving me? You said you loved me! How could you love me and then leave me alone? While I was pregnant!" Your hands flew to your mouth, you honestly never planned on telling him that. Spencer's eyebrows rose high in the air, and you can tell you just knocked the wind out of him. Spencer's hand reached back for the door handle, "pregnant?"

"Spencer I'm sorry I didn't mean to tell you that way." You tried to explain, and despite the fact that he'd abandoned you, you were dead terrified of him leaving again now that he was stood in front of you.

"Do I have a child you never told me about?" His voice is shaky, afraid. Now you can see all his coworkers heavily invested in your conversation.

"N-No, I...I got rid of it." You said softly, watching the mix of emotions swirl across his face. When his trembling palm curls around the door handle you launch forward to grab at his arm.

"I'm sorry, please don't leave. Not again-" But he's pulling his arm free from yours and turning out of the room, nearly slamming the door behind him.

//

Spencer ignored the questions, he ignored the looks. His legs gave out somewhere near one of the couches. He stared ahead numbly, trying to make sense of what you'd just told him. Trying to somehow wrap his head around the terror of you being pregnant and then the grief of the lost possibility all at the same time. By now, JJ and Rossi had shooed everyone away from Spencer. Which he was immensely grateful for, the only thing he wanted now was to be alone. Completely and entirely alone.

Pregnant.

The word kept replaying like a scratched record, screeching in his ears every time he closed his eyes. Spencer pressed the balls of his palms into his eyes when he heard the distinct sound of footsteps approaching him. Whoever it was, he already wished they would go away.

"Damn Kid, I didn't expect you to date such a spitfire." Derek joked as he sat down, doing what he can to ease the tension. Spencer didn't even bother looking up at him, his head stubbornly lowered and his gaze locked on the ground. Derek racked his brain for something adequate to say, but what was there to say? How could Derek find a way to make this right? Spencer just found out you were pregnant with his child and that you'd got an abortion all in the same 10 seconds. It was a lot to process.

"You gotta talk to her Spence." Derek's voice was less humorous this time. Spencer wrung his hands nervously, his eyes finally lifting to meet Derek's. A sharp shake of his head and a flash of the tears in his eyes and Spencer stands, wiping his eyes with the backs of his hands. Time to get back to work. Someone has to talk to you, Derek can't stand of someone crying by themselves like that.

"It's not really my place-" JJ tried to argue as Derek stood in front of her.

"Someone needs to talk to her, and Spencer isn't going to." Derek said, rubbing a hand down his face as his eyes flickered back to Spencer. Who was currently throwing himself headfirst into the geographic profile of the killer they're looking for, because maybe if he works hard enough the rest of the entire world will just disappear. Maybe if Spencer keeps working and does nothing else you'll just vanish from that room and he won't have to deal with this. It's not that Spencer wants you to go away, the opposite actually but there isn't room in his life for you anymore. It's not safe. Spencer would rather be alone for the rest of his life then put you in danger because he's lonely and misses you.

"Alright, fine. But only for Spence." JJ says, jabbing a finger in Derek's direction before reluctantly heading towards the room you're in. She glances back at Spencer, who has become consumed by the map in front of him. JJ can always tell when something is bothering him, he has physical giveaways. The way his shoulders are rigid as he scribbles something on the whiteboard, the furrow in his brow that lets her know that while he's working on something, his mind is elsewhere. The tremble in his palm from trying so hard to hold everything back, everything he doesn't want anyone else to see. To someone that doesn't know Spencer, he looks perfectly composed, his attention and focus completely on his work. JJ knows him well enough to know that his mind, and heart are sitting tattered in this waiting room on the couch next to you.

JJ creaks the door open, flashing you a smile that makes you absolutely hate her guts. Spencer probably has some puppy love crush on her, she's beautiful. Long blonde hair, slender body, stunning smile. Everything you're not.

"Hi I'm Special Agent Jennifer Jareau, but you can call me JJ." The way she's looking at you lets you know that she came in here to try and understand. You're not in the mood to talk to her or anybody else in this stupid building except for Spencer. You want to hate him so bad but you can't. You can't because of how much you fucking love him. The bastard.

"Look I know you're probably not all that excited to talk to me-"

"I want Spencer." You snap, and by the look on her face you can tell she isn't surprised that you said that. JJ chewed on the inside of her cheek, how does she say that Spencer doesn't actually want to talk to you?

"Dr. Reid is needed elsewhere right now, but I'm willing to talk if you need to."

"You don't have to lie Agent Jareau. I know he doesn't want to see me, he's doing that thing where he pretends to work on something while secretly obsessing over something else." You say casually, and the fact that you can pick Spencer apart so easily is somewhat off-putting to JJ. But that could be her unrequited crush on him shining through, deep down JJ doesn't like that some other woman knows Spencer better then she does. While you'd love to sit here and wallow in your misery, a much worse idea strikes you then. If you can't talk to Spencer why not fuck with the woman who's clearly in love with him.

"And the little twitch in his fingers, the slight clench in his jaw. See that? He keeps rolling his shoulders back," while everything you were saying isn't a lie- it's guaranteed to annoy her. JJ stayed quiet, she hated that she didn't know what the goddamn twitch in his fingers meant.

"He's tense, but there's more. He can't stand still, keeps shifting from foot to foot. It's driving you crazy that you don't know why he's doing that." You laugh as her annoyed eyes flash to yours for a second before settling on Spencer again.

"You're a profiler, you can't figure it out? That doesn't surprise me, you've probably never considered the fact that Spencer has an unusually high sex drive." Your words completely stun her, and JJ's cheeks flush profusely.

"It means he's horny." You say casually, leaning back against the couch. You love the blush on her cheeks, and the fact that she's clearly biting her tongue to avoid saying something rude. You love that you got under her skin, and yes you're aware that you're a bad person. Now that you've said it, JJ can't get it out of her damn head. Spencer is horny. Spencer isn't a virgin. The thought of Spencer having sex makes JJ feel a sick turning in her gut. She was happy believing Spencer was a virgin, believing that nobody has gotten to experience that side of him yet. Happy to believe that he was untouched, but apparently that was not the case. Now that the illusion has been shattered, JJ feels as though the jagged pieces of it are cutting into her, and she knows you enjoy watching her bleed.

"Trust me, I know just what to do to relieve the tension, I know how to get him off quick. Do you?" You smile as you let your eyes shamelessly drag down his slender frame.

"You're only saying this because you want to control the conversation, and you hate that I see him everyday. That I can talk to him whenever I want, about whatever I want. You wouldn't lash out if you didn't feel intimidated." JJ says calmly, rendering you just as speechless as she was moments ago. The pain that was sent stabbing into your heart caused you to recoil back from JJ, trying to hide your misty eyes from hers. You can't let her know that she's winning.

"Look, we can both get nasty all we want but that's not why I'm here. I just want to help." JJ says sincerely, but you still don't budge. JJ taps her fingers against the wood of the table, thinking about leverage she can use to get you to talk to her.

"Spencer fell in love again." JJ says finally, and this time you turn your gaze up to look at her. You push your emotions down, no matter how much it hurts to hear her say that. Who is she? Are they still together?

"If you want to know more about her, then I suggest you talk to me. An answer for an answer, fair?" You can see her trying to bait you, and damn her because it's working.

"Fine." You grumble, leaning back fully against the couch. Your eyes catch Spencer's for a second when he turns to face the table, presumably looking for a map you remember being on the right side. You point to the right side of the table and Spencer looks nothing but annoyed when he follows your direction and finds what he's looking for. He hates that he functions better as a person when you're around.

"What's the deal with you and Spence?" JJ asks, and there is a lot to unpack with that question.

"Gonna have to be more specific." You say with a shrug, your eyes hesitantly meeting hers.

"How long were you two together?"

"2 years 8 months." You answer without pausing, causing her eyebrows to raise. JJ didn't expect you to remember down to the month, it's been years since you and Spencer were together. That's not a short fling like JJ originally thought, that's a substantial amount of time.

"What's her name?" You ask, desperate to get information on this mystery woman who has stolen Spencer from you.

"Her name was Maeve." Was. You don't miss how she says was instead of is.

"Why do you hate Spencer?" JJ looked like she cared, but you know it's not you she cares about. She's in here to try and protect Spencer in some way, she's acting like you're the villain.

"I don't hate him. He abandoned me. Just packed up and left, no note, no goodbye. Haven't heard from him since." You snap, hating the amount of emotion that was in your voice. JJ's eyebrows furrow, that's just so unlike Spencer. He's not cruel, he's never been cruel but that...is cruel. You see a look flash across her face.

"Sweet boy isn't as sweet as he seems." You say softly, folding your arms over your chest.

"He must have had a good reason." JJ insists, her eyes landing on Spencer's back as he continues to map out the hunting grounds of the killer. You know he's just wasting time to avoid coming back in here. Spencer is a certifiable super genius, he finished mapping it out a while ago. He's just pretending he hasn't finished yet.

"Spence still with her? Maeve." Her name felt like poison on your tongue, and JJ slowly shook her head.

"She died in front of him, really tore him up." Your heart cracks a little bit at her words, you can't imagine how hard that must have been for him. You see JJ open her mouth to ask something else when the door opens, and a man with darker skin pokes his head in.

"JJ? Reid found him, we gotta go." As soon as he arrived, he's gone with JJ hot on his heels. She sends you a smile before she rushes out of the room, and you see Spencer following her path out. They're going to arrest a murderer who has an arsenal of weapons at his disposal.

"Spencer! Y-You can't go, it's not safe!" You blurt from the doorway, and he pauses. His eyes find yours as he holsters his pistol, an unreadable expression on his face.

"It's my job." And that's all he says before he disappears out of the precinct, leaving you once again.

//

You couldn't quell the anxiety turning in your gut, you're not sure how to exist while Spencer is out there hunting a murderer. You wished that you could turn off the part of your brain that's still so damn attached to him, but no matter how hard you try you can't silence your heart as it calls for him. You're not sure you could survive the constant fear of losing him if you ever ended up with him again, this life is too much for you to take. Maybe he knew that all those years ago when he left you the first time, Spencer always could see right through you. Maybe he left because he knew staying would only lead you to live a life of constant fear, maybe he was trying to protect you. Either way the reasons don't matter anymore because he left, and nothing can change how badly that hurt you.

"Does it normally take this long?" You ask a passing officer, who in turn shrugs before continuing on his path. You feel like you're going to explode or vomit, or both. It's been over 2 hours, should it be taking this long? What if he got shot? What if he's dead right now and you're sitting here with your damn thumb up your ass worrying about him like a useless housewife? Feeling useless, that's what you hate the absolute most. Knowing there's nothing you can do to stop a bullet on it's trajectory to his heart.

"Spence, are you sure you're okay?" You hear a flurry of voices and when his name graces JJ's lips you're pushing out of the room. Your eyes find him instantly, and then travel to his palm which is pressed tightly to his neck. His bleeding neck. You feel your heart rate spike, hammering like the hooves of wild horses as you move without thinking about it. Before you even understand that you've moved, you're stood in front of him. Your eyes try to scan his neck for wounds but his palm covers the location the blood is coming from.

"C'mere." You grab his wrist and yank him back towards where you saw a first aid kit earlier. Luckily your 2 and a half years of nursing school taught you how to stitch a wound and perform basic first aid. Spencer offers no resistance as you yank him to a back corner of the precinct, pushing him to sit down. You grab the first aid kit, slowly prying his hand from his neck. Your eyes mist at the wound, it's a bullet wound. Looks old though, there's scarred tissue. This had to have happened a few weeks ago at least. You see the thin line of the scar, the middle section seems to have opened up again.

"You didn't wait long enough for this to heal." You scold gently, not missing how his eyes watch you with an intensity smoldering in them. You miss the way he used to look at you, the way he's looking at you right now. You miss being the center of his whole world, you scoff. Look how easy it was for him to walk away from you. You threat a needle to stitch the center of his wound shut again, and when you look for numbing cream you discover that there isn't any.

"Spence, there isn't any- I can't find the numbing..." Your voice trails off as you begin to yank things out of the first aid kit to search for the numbing cream. Spencer's hand catches your wrist and it's only just now that you realize you're trembling.

"It's okay. I'll be fine." He settles back against the chair he's sitting in, turning his head to reveal his neck to you. You hesitate, the Spencer you remember had a very low pain threshold. All of a sudden he's expecting you to stitch him up with no numbing agent?

"Y/N, I can handle it." Spencer says again, his voice firmer than before. You swallow a lump in your throat before reaching forward to begin stitching. You press the needle against his neck, eyeing him to gauge his reaction as you puncture his skin to make the first thread. To your surprise he hardly flinches, a small quirk in his lip is the only giveaway that he's in pain. Is this the same man that got squirmy getting a shot? That would shy away from the needle? Now he's sitting here letting you stitch him up without moving a muscle, without even flinching? The more time you spend with him the more proof you get that this isn't the same Spencer that left you all those years ago.

"How did it happen?" You ask, wondering how he could have survived a gunshot to the neck. He shifts uncomfortably.

"Got shot, two inches away from hitting my jugular." Spencer says it so casually, but you're so stunned that you halt your movements for a moment.

"How many times have you been shot?" You ask, your voice hoarse. Is him getting shot a common occurrence?

"Twice. Also got shot in the leg." The casual way Spencer talks about it almost convinces you it isn't a big deal. But it is. It's a bullet ripping through his body, and it's happened to him on two separate occasions. You finish stitching and bandaging him up, your hands moving away from him as soon as you can.

"Thank God you went to nursing school or I'd be six feet under." He jokes. You know he's kidding but still, the thought of it makes you feel lightheaded.

"Don't say stuff like that." You snap softly, and you know Spencer can see the fear and vulnerability in your eyes. You hesitantly steal a glance up at him once he's stood up only to find he's already looking at you. You shy away from his intrusive gaze, and you could practically feel him probing at your mind. Reading your thoughts as if they were written down for him. You hate that he can always tell what you're thinking, you hate that it was so easy for him to read you. Like a damn book. You have to fight the urge to reach out and grab his hand, it's what you always did when you felt lost or unsure. Spencer was always there to ground you and bring your mind back out of your thoughts.

"Miss Y/L/N?" You hear JJ's voice gently interrupt you two. You shoot away from Spencer as though you were doing something scandalous. He doesn't move an inch.

"Yes!" You blurt a little too loudly, suddenly flustered being so close to him. Why does your sharp tongue always leave you when you need it?

"You're clear to go home."

"I can take her." Spencer speaks up before JJ has a chance to offer, and she knew he would. You swallow a nervous lump in your throat, your palms shaking.

//

The SUV has dark tint, you weren't expecting that. The second you sat back in the plush leather seat your mind flew to lewd thoughts of you leaning over the center console, Spencer's hand in your hair as he helps you take his cock in your mouth. You steal one glance at Spencer, his right hand holding the steering wheel loosely. Your cheeks heat up as you glance down between his legs, get ahold of yourself.

"The address is-"

"I remember." You knew he would. That damn eidetic memory ensured that he never forgot anything. It broke your heart a little, because some naïve part of you was hoping he remembered because it meant something to him. You hoped he remembered the way to your house because he didn't want to forget, because forgetting it meant forgetting you. But you know the reality, you know that he remembers because he has no choice but to remember. His memory is too good to allow him to forget anything, even if it was something he wanted to forget. You're grasping at straws and you know you are, holding onto that foolish notion that Spencer still held onto the memories. That he still held onto the gifts you gave him, crying softly in the night like you did sometimes.

"JJ told me about Maeve." You say softly into the silence, and you saw Spencer swallow thickly out of the corner of your eye. "I'm so sorry you lost her Spence."

"Thank you." He honestly wasn't expecting you to say that, to acknowledge the pain. Because acknowledging the pain meant that you knew he loved her. He did love her. But it was a different love then the love he feels for you. It was special, but so are you. You're special too.

"Have you...dated anyone else?" Spencer can't help but ask as he subconsciously continues the drive to your house. A drive he's committed to his memory, a drive he never wants to forget. You shift to look at him, there were a few you dated. You know when you tell Spencer about them that it'll drive him crazy.

"Tony Anderson." You say and just like you thought, Spencer groans deeply. Spencer detests Tony, they were practically mortal enemies when he still lived in Las Vegas.

"Tony? Seriously?" His tone is incredulous as his grasp on the steering wheel tightens ever so slightly.

"He was a good fuck at least." You know you shouldn't wind him up, but he hurt you for Christ's sakes. He deserves a little bit of pain too. Spencer flinches, a look of anger and something else simmering in his eyes.

"Please tell me you didn't have sex with Tony."

"Why does it matter?" You shouldn't enjoy upsetting people as much as you do. But there's still a small part of you that's convinced that Spencer deserves this.

"Because I can't live with the fact that somebody else has gotten to feel that perfect cunt of yours, let alone Tony." His crude words take you by surprise, and you can't fight the gasp that escapes your mouth.

"Well before you start digging your grave, relax. I never had sex with Tony." You decide to put him out of his misery, and you see the relief physically flood his body. You lean against the window, the next admission from you will leave the air heavier in it's wake.

"I've never slept with anyone but you Spence." You realize it's been a long time since you've seen Spencer let alone had sex with him but you could never bring yourself to sleep with someone else. It's not as though the opportunity never presented itself, you had plenty of chances to have sex with someone else. But you couldn't because there's still a stubborn part of you that doesn't want to betray Spencer.

"Really? Why?" Apparently this revelation surprised him.

"Because no matter where you go I will always belong to you." You snap without thinking, blinking tears from your eyes as you avoid his gaze. Spencer fell silent then, and you know he feels guilty. Probably because he's slept with someone else in the time since he's been with you.

"I know you have and it's fine I'm not trying to-"

"I haven't." Spencer corrects instantly, his eyes meeting yours through the darkness of the SUV. If he could see you he would see the look of utter surprise on your face. It's not as though Spencer was an overly sexually ambitious person when you dated, but you figured he probably slept with at least one person. "I haven't slept with anybody else either."

"I know someone that wants to though." You grumble without thinking, your mind drifting to JJ and the obvious crush she thinks isn't obvious. Spencer tilts his head in a way that resembles a confused puppy, you resist the urge to ruffle his hair.

"Who?"

"Agent Jareau." As soon as the name slips past the threshold of your lips, Spencer's jerks the wheel in surprise. You see a dark blush color his cheeks as his other hand reaches up to steady the wheel.

"J-Jennifer? No way! She's my best friend." You nearly laugh at his flustered state, and normally you would push it a little further but you decide to let it go. You don't want to completely destroy the way he sees her, you know you already destroyed the way she sees him.

"You have no idea what a catch you are Spencer." You tell him as you unbuckle your seatbelt, getting ready to exit the SUV. Spencer reaches over and places a warm hand on your wrist to stop you from leaving, his eyes searching yours for an answer he isn't sure you have.

"Come in?" You ask hopefully, you're not ready for him to leave again. Damnit why did he have to turn up again after so long? You were just starting to think that maybe you could move on and find someone new. You were finally starting to feel okay, and then Spencer reappears and turns your entire world upsidown all over again. Deep down you know that nobody will ever compare to Spencer Reid, and you don't want them to. You don't want anyone to be like Spencer, you want him to be his entirely own person. It's what you love the most about him, is his ability to be himself no matter where he is or who he's with. All of his little quirks, the things about himself that he doesn't notice but you do.

"Yeah." His answer comes across as an exhalation of breath, and you try to hide how excited you are. You want to hold on to any moment you can, stolen moments that you take as you please with no regret whatsoever.

"Nothing has changed." Spencer muses once you unlock the front door and push inside the darkened living room. You blush, admittedly nothing about your small townhouse has changed. It's all basically the exact same as when Spencer saw it last. You rub a hand down your arm as Spencer's eyes go wandering. Trailing over the curtains he remembers hastily pulling closed to protect your decency on more than a few occasions. His gaze then travels to the couch, all those movie nights you two spent curled up together. Or when he got you into Star Trek and you couldn't stop watching it. Pain stabs his chest for a moment, it's hard to remember everything he had to let go of to get the job he has now.

"I miss you too, you know." Spencer says off-handedly. It takes you by surprise, the sureness in his tone is jarring. He sounds so comfortable admitting when he's vulnerable, it's never been easy for you to be vulnerable with him. Maybe that's part of the reason he left, maybe you drove him away by shutting him out. His eyes meet yours, a look so soft in his eyes it feels as though his gaze is caressing your skin. You bite your bottom lip to keep the emotions at bay, what is it about this man that makes you so emotional?

"I never said I missed you." You try to snap, to add an edge to your tone. But instead it came out watery and broken, and in turn Spencer reached up to swipe away a falling tear.

"But you do." You can't even deny it, it's obvious.

"Damn you Spencer Reid, I was finally starting to feel okay again." You cry softly, curling your arms towards your chest in an attempt to shrink away from him. He cups your cheeks in his palms, turning your face up towards him.

"I wasn't." He admits before his lips are on yours, and it's not frenzied and desperate like you've been picturing all these years. It's slow and calculated, soft and passionate. Firm but with a tenderness that makes your knees buckle from the gravity of it. Spencer's fingers card into your hair, pulling your head closer to his. He nips at your lower lip, his arms crushing you against his chest. You throw yourself into him, your arms holding him as tightly as you possibly can. Afraid that if your vise grip loosens, even for a second, that he'll slip through your fingers like trying to hold onto water. You almost don't want to let your eyes close, you don't want him to disappear again.

"I missed you, I miss you-" You gasp against his lips, grabbing fistfuls of his dress shirt. Spencer continues to move his lips languidly against yours, backing you against the wall. His hand ghosts down your side to the hem of your shirt, his fingers toying with it.

"O-Off." You beg, and in an instant Spencer is pulling your shirt over your head. His eyes land on your bare chest, shocked that he almost forgot that you never really wear a bra. His hands curl around your back, drawing your chest up into his awaiting lips. His mouth curls around your hardened nipple, your hand flying into his hair from the contact.

"Is this a dream? Please tell me you're really here Spencer." You beg, almost becoming lost in the emotions again. His eyes flutter up to meet yours, his mouth reluctantly leaving your nipple. He brushes his lips over yours, his hand trailing down your stomach towards the waistband of your leggings.

"This is real, I'm here baby. I'm home." Hearing those words was too much, and you launch yourself into his chest as the first tear trickles down your cheek. Your lips press sloppily to his, the kiss messy and wet as his hand slides into your leggings. His fingers find your wet slit in an instant, desperately parting your lips to slide a lithe finger into you. Your body reacts to him instantly, in a way that surprises you. Almost as though it too was crying out for him, keening into him and begging for his touch as much as your mind is. Spencer hauls one of your thighs up to hook around his waist as he presses another finger into you. You cry out softly into the quiet air, accompanied only by the labored breathing fanning across your face.

"I need to feel you, I- I need-" You can barely get the words out as he steadily pumps his fingers into you. His mouth on yours silences your desperate pleading, his chest firmly pressing your back into the wall. You missed being able to feel him and you hate that you forgot what it feels like to have his body on yours. It's been so long you forgot what the sting of his cock feels like. What it feels like when you stretch wide open around him, to feel like you're being ripped in two. Spencer continues his pace, his thumb rolling your clit to provide the extra stimulation you're missing. It's not enough to satisfy you, but its enough for you two cum. Which you do. You gush around his fingers as you gently come undone, your back arching into him.

"Please," You beg wantonly, curling your other leg around his waist as his hands hook underneath your thighs. Spencer's lips press against yours, moving slowly against your own. You know now that you will never stop loving Spencer, and that he's completely ruined you for life. You'll never be able to love anybody else without your heart wandering back to him. But then again, you don't really mind because you don't want to be with anybody else. You don't want to love anybody else. You just want him, only him. He pushes into your room, walking the entirety of the way with his eyes closed and his mouth pressed against yours. He has the layout of your house mapped out in his head? He never even bumped into anything until he was dropping you unceremoniously on the bed.

"Tell me what you need, I'll give you whatever you want." Spencer husks against you, hovering above you. Your fingers are already unbuttoning his shirt before you even have the chance to respond to him. You know instantly what you want, what you need from him.

"I want all of you, give me everything." You plead, your lips practically chasing his as he kneels up over you. He's being soft tonight, and that's something you appreciate greatly. You need to feel his love, you need to feel everything you know he can't quite put into words. His hands are shaking as he undoes the button and zipper of his dress slacks before kicking them off the edge of the bed. You stare up at his naked body, looking as though it's been sculpted by the Gods specifically for you. Spencer smiles softly at you as he pulls your leggings down your legs, leaving little nips and kisses on your inner thighs as he goes.

"Hurry." You groan, nearly clawing at his bare shoulders to pull him back up to you. Spencer chuckles at how eager you are, watching with interested eyes as the head of his cock breaches your folds. You reluctantly stretch open as he continues his intrusion, his fists curling tightly around the sheets. Christ you weren't lying about not sleeping with anyone else, you're so tight it's making him feel a little lightheaded. Inch by inch Spencer presses into you, his forehead resting against yours once his pelvis is sitting flush against yours. Sure, you've had sex with hi before but never have you felt this connected to him. Spencer sits like a gentleman and lets you adjust to his size, trying to take a few deep breaths himself. It's hard to breathe with your heat sucking him in with a vice grip.

"Can I move?" You're surprised by how collected his voice is, but the furrow of his brow is a giveaway that he's losing the battle to stay stock still inside you.

"Yes, please." You moan, unashamed. Spencer gently draws his hips back, pulling himself nearly all the way out before swiftly sliding back into your inviting cunt. He sets the pace slow and deep, his hands reaching up to lace through yours. Every time the head of his cock nudges that spot deep inside you, you can feel your toes curl. Your head slams back against the pillows, unable to keep your gaze on him any longer. You feel yourself becoming one with him, and you wish you could capture this moment somewhere other then just in your minds eye. Your memory is nowhere near as good as Spencer's, he'll be able to recall every detail of this moment up until the day he dies. But over time, this memory will fade for you. It'll wear out, all the details becoming fuzzy and blurred. If he's not here in front of you, you'll forget and you don't want to forget.

When the night draws to a close, and the moon has reached its peak, Spencer slips carefully out of bed. It chisels away pieces of his heart as he carefully gets dressed, reaching for his go bag which he'd brought inside upon realizing that he'd be staying a while. He pulls out a t-shirt he'd worn recently and leaves it folded neatly at the end of your bed, something for you to hold onto when he's gone. Spencer's cheeks are wet with tears as he leans over and presses a kiss to your head.

"I love you." Is the last thing he whispers in the space between you two before he's gone again.

//

On the jet, Derek can't keep his eyes off Spencer and that helplessly broken look on his face. A book is laid nestled in Spencer's lap, but Derek can tell he isn't really reading it. Trying to bother Spencer into opening up probably won't work, but it's worth a try. Derek has to do something and this is all he can think of.

"You okay kid?"

"Yeah fine, why?" Spencer draws his eyes up from the book, his gaze meeting Derek's from across the table. While Spencer might be a talented actor, he can't lie to Derek.

"Look I know how hard it must have been leaving her again-"

"Did you know that on average the FDA allows a minimum of 1 rodent hair per 100 grams of peanut butter? They have to allow themselves room for error just in case of-"

"Alright you win, forget it." Derek sighs, turning his gaze out the window. In an instant Spencer drops his peanut butter spiel, turning back to his book. A guaranteed way to get people off his back is to start rambling about something boring or gross, they usually leave him alone pretty quickly. It's not that Spencer doesn't appreciate Derek's concern, he just doesn't want to talk about it. He can't talk about it, because every time he imagines how you're going to feel when you wake up, tears come to the surface of his eyes. He hates this case more than all the rest even though they saved the victim. Spencer hates this case for ripping open an old wound, one he thought healed.

He was wrong.

//

When you wake the next morning you knew he'd be gone. That didn't stop the tears from coming when you reached over and felt cold sheets. That didn't stop the tears from coming when you cried how much you loved him over and over again even though he couldn't hear you. It doesn't change how badly this hurts, how much worse it feels compared to the first time he left. Your eyes catch the shirt folded at the end of the bed and you grab it instantly. You pull it over your body and you lay down in your bed, inhaling his cologne that you know will fade over time. Eventually his scent will disappear, removing all traces that this fabric belonged to him at all. Every trace of him will disappear over time, every mark from your body will slowly vanish. When it's all gone, you'll be left with nothing more than a t-shirt that's too big for you, and a cold reminder that the man you love will never truly be yours. A reminder that every time he comes home, he leaves again.

A cold reminder that this world is cruel for bringing you Spencer Reid, only to rip him from you again and again.

[buckyownsmylife]

Memory - Bucky Barnes smut

The one where Bucky's a vampire but still manages to develop a breeding kink

Warnings: smut, breeding kink, vampire!AU, creampie, daddy kink, mention of blood because of biting

A/N: this is for my darling cousin @whisperlullaby​‘s challenge, and also my own! Like I explained here, I’m going to try to fill every single AU I listed with the characters I picked for the challenge, and since the deadline if May 27, these fics will be posted randomly, as I finish them, instead of on Thursdays, which are my usual one-shot posting days. I hope you guys will enjoy this silly idea of a vampire with a breeding kink 💛 I had a blast writing it! Unbeta’ed because I almost died this week and cannot be bothered to stare at my writing for any longer.

Bucky’s P.O.V.

“Okay, let’s play truth or dare!” I groaned as silently as possible at the proposition. One of the downsides of dating someone in college was having to deal with the immaturity of their friends, especially when I was unable to escape yet another invitation for a weekend getaway.

There were only so many encounters a man could refuse before mysterious became annoying, and I knew I was toeing the line, even if my girlfriend never complained.

She understood just how irritating these gatherings could be to me. It would have been easy to imagine if there was a realistic age gap between us, but considering the centuries that separated our birth dates, it was laughable that anyone would entertain the idea of me with a bunch of young adults who only wanted to get laid, smoke some weed and drink their asses off.

Of course, her friends didn’t know my true age, so they only thought I was a little bit irked by their behavior. Y/N knew the truth, and so evidently she tried to get me out of it, but I resisted.

I wanted her to take part in the normal experiences people her age were having. There was already so much that she was missing out on just by being with me - and I wasn’t even referring to the blood that she granted me every night.

I’d accepted to be there with her that evening. I was going to immerse myself in the full experience, if only to learn a bit more about her and those she surrounded herself with.

Her best friend let out a little excited yell when she noticed that we were joining the circle and I forced myself to smile at her. “Alright, let’s do this.” One of the male friends rubbed his hands before reaching for the bottle, making it spin as I frowned. I thought that was a different game, but apparently I was mistaken.

It landed on a girl I had yet to get acquainted with, and so I disconnected myself from the conversation as I watched my beloved laugh and have fun with her friends. It made me feel warm. It made me grateful I had decided to join.

A few more rounds went by without anything of essence actually happening. I was about to excuse myself when the bottle surprisingly stopped while pointing at Y/N.

She gasped as she stared at the man who was responsible for deciding her fate, and I already knew I wouldn’t like what was coming next. But she was smart, so she avoided the dare that would undoubtedly enrage me, leaving her to answer a question that I also would have preferred not to hear.

“So… Y/N…” He began, taking far too much pleasure at the situation, and by the way she rolled her eyes, I knew she was thinking the same.

“Yes, Simon.” He opened his mouth to say something, but instinctively looked my way. I was trying my best not to let any emotion slip through the cracks of my perfectly constructed mask, but whatever it was that he saw seemed to make him change his mind.

He closed his mouth and frowned, for a second deep in thought, before he sighed and finally voiced his question. “Just tell us one of your kinks.”

It sounded like he was trying to get this over with, and although Y/N seemed just as confused, she cleared her throat and gave him an answer.

“Oh, I don’t know… I guess.. Creampie?” Little giggles and comments rose around the circle, but nothing really stuck out and they were quick to motion her to spin the bottle so another person could have a turn.

It was a different reaction that I was expecting, especially considering what everyone did for much tamer answers, but the explanation for the lukewarm crowd was made clear by a groaned comment from Simon to the man beside him.

“This is no fun now that she isn’t single.” A small giggle resonated by my side, and I turned in the direction it came from to find my girlfriend trying to suppress her amusement behind her palm.

“Something funny, little one?” I knew they’d take notice of the pet name, but I honestly couldn’t be bothered to even pretend to care, and the fact that she smiled openly up at me showed me that she didn’t, either.

“Not at all.” She pulled me closer to deposit a quick peck on my lips and I was sure if my heart was still beating, it would have fluttered at the way she looked at me. “Thanks for coming tonight.”

“Of course.” Thankfully, the game didn’t last much longer - for us, at least. Somehow, the bottle didn’t land on me once, and Y/N started to yawn, her head resting against my shoulder after the third consecutive “Who would you rather bang?” question.

“I think we’re gonna leave for the night,” she excused us even though I knew she wasn’t really sleepy. She really could be an excellent actress when she wanted to.

We walked up the stairs to where the bedrooms were located, quickly getting in what had been assigned as ours for the weekend. She smiled softly at me as she reached for her backpack, no doubt looking for the one shirt of mine she always slept in, but I had a few things in my mind I wanted to ask her about.

“Why do you like creampies to much?” The words spilled out at me so unusually, considering the silence in the room, it didn’t surprise me that it took her a while to answer. When she did though, I was surprised to find her biting her lip, a look between amused and horny in her eyes when she approached me.

“Dunno.” She shrugged, taking my hands in her and playing with my fingers. I knew it was a way to avoid my intense gaze. “Guess I have a bit of a breeding kink, actually. It just felt too personal to share with those guys.”

The answer took me by surprise as I stared down at her, blinking a couple of times as I made sure to really process what she had said.

“A breeding kink?” I confirmed, and she rolled her eyes in that way I knew she did when she was embarrassed but trying to play it off as annoyed.

“Yeah, you know.” She pulled away from me to sit on the bed, legs dangling off of it almost like a child. “I like the idea of being bred. Even though I’m in no way ready to become a mother,” she added in a serious tone, making sure I understood what she meant.

But I didn’t. I didn’t and I guess it was clear in my face, because she quirked an eyebrow and jumped out of the bed, coming to stand before me once more.

“Why is this so weird to you?” She inquired, head tilted in amusement. “You’re over a century old, I’m sure your expectations regarding sexual relationships were related to impregnation for most of your life.”

And I mean… she wasn’t wrong. But I hadn’t thought about that for so long, I guess it didn’t occur to me that there was an actual term for it these days.

“There’s no way you don’t have a breeding kink.” The affirmation sounded almost like a dare, so my instinct was to fight it, wrap my arms around her torso so I’d keep her close to me, but deny it.

“You know I can’t ‘breed’ anyone anymore, darling.” But she wasn’t giving up. Her fingers softly traced my jawline, eyes sparkling with a dangerous glint as she countered, “Doesn’t mean you can’t like the idea of it.”

Even though I didn’t need the oxygen, I inhaled sharply, suddenly fascinated by her every movement, the way she gently unwrapped herself from my arms to slowly unbutton her simple dress, the one she made it look like a fucking gown.

“Think about it, Buck…” Every inch of skin that became exposed to my eyes still had my mouth watering, desperate to taste her all over.

“Wouldn’t you want to see me round with your child?” The question provoked my imagination, playing with her features as I thought about what she proposed. Her breasts fuller, stomach protuberant, and maybe a little feet rubbing against the skin, something I could kiss.

“See me carry your genes, continue your lineage… Wouldn’t you want that?” Her innocent eyes spelled trouble when she stood before me again, close enough to touch.

And I couldn’t deny that the idea did something to my heart - even though it didn’t beat anymore. Most undeniably, it definitely did something to my cock, which now strained against my pants, the arousal that the image of her impregnated by me provoked bursting as I looked at the creature that I loved in wonder and fascination.

“Are you trying to tempt me, doll?” She bit on her lower lip to stop herself from giggling before I pulled it away from her teeth when I took her in my arms again, naked breasts rubbing against my shirt.

“Is it working?” She breathed out, eyes connected to mine while she tried to gather my feelings about her attempt. I pressed her body closer, making sure she’d feel the hardness in my pants before I even voiced it.

“Very well,” I whispered in her ear, enjoying the way my cold breath awakened goosebumps all over her warm skin. She never complained about the difference in temperature, something that I was profoundly grateful for, since I loved to feel her hot blood pumping underneath my fingertips whenever I trailed my digits over her flesh.

“So tell me,” she pressed, still going for seductive even though she sounded slightly out of breath, her desire evident in the way her pupils had dilated. “Would you like to breed me, James?”

A shiver went down my spine at the question and I closed my eyes for just one second, just to relish in this sensation before I opened them to confess, “You have no idea how much I’d like that.”

My hand easily spread her lower lips, middle finger running between them to test her wetness and finding her soaked, like she always seemed to be for me. The knowledge had me smiling as I lifted my hand to taste her before making quick work of my belt, observing her slowly walking backwards towards the bed as I followed, almost like there was a thread connecting us, keeping us close.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” he moaned against my ear as he buried himself inside of me and I clutched at his shoulders, desperate to feel every part of him connected to every part of me.

Only he could get me this way. Chest heaving, mouth open just from the simple act of feeling him stretching me open. It didn’t matter how many times he took me, it still burned the same - and I loved it.

“Tell me, doll,” he panted, hypnotizing eyes connected to mine, unwilling to let my gaze escape his hold. “Tell me you’d want to have my child. You’d look so beautiful with your body changing because of me, wouldn’t you want that?”

I groaned, throwing my head back as James fucked me senseless, his cock ramming against my sweet spot over and over again. He knew no mercy, I knew that. I just never anticipated to have such an overwhelming reaction to a silly little kink I never even thought I’d ever get to explore.

“Answer me, little one.” His fangs came into play then, piercing around the nipple that he sucked, galvanizing me into actually responding, “I would, I would, daddy,” while pulling on his hair without even realizing.

He let go of my breasts to look at me with dark eyes - not because he had come in contact with my blood, oh no. It was clear that this was the reaction to the name that escaped me so easily, waving its way into him until it broke the last bit of his control and left him completely undone, only determined to fuck me.

I watched him lick his lips before he ordered, “tell daddy you want his cum inside of you.” Hearing him acknowledge this other secret kink, refer to himself as it had me delirious, unable to formulate any words to obey him, so I opted to hide my face in the crook of his neck, hoping the feeling of my burning cheeks would satiate him.

What a mistake.

“Oh, so now you’re shy?” He mocked, rubbing his jaw against my cheek as I whined against him. “Want daddy’s cum so much but can’t be a good girl and beg for it?”

I came with a long drawn-out gasp right then, my body twitching underneath his as his cock dragged along my walls once, twice, a third time until it spilled his cum inside of my channel. The act was so hot to me that it had me pulling on his hair, whispers of “I love you, I love you,” tumbling out of my lips.

He silenced me with a kiss, still managing to keep on thrusting until I had to push him away because of my sensitivity.

“Spread your legs for me, little one…” He ordered, brushing his tongue over his lower lip in contemplation. “Let me see the mess I left there.”

I was still a bit nervous about the whole ordeal now that the wave of horniness had left me, but I did eventually spread my legs for him, whimpering as he bit down on his own lip at the sight of his spent dripping from my abused pussy.

“Oh, you look so good like that, darling.” I could barely contain my giddiness as he laid down by my side and pulled me to rest on his chest, pressing a kiss to my temple while he caressed my arm. “But one question remains unanswered.” To my almost sleepy hum, he proceeded, “Why do you like the idea of breeding so much?”

That got me thinking, wiping the tiredness off of my muscles like a bucket of cold water. It felt weird to admit it, but at the same time, I wanted nothing more than to bare my soul to the man I loved, to have him aware of every little thing about me…

So I admitted, “I like the idea of being yours… in this very scary, slightly territorial way.” At his silence, I giggled, hiding my face on his chest as I waited for his response.

“But you are mine,” he reminded me, and even as I rolled my eyes, a silly smile painted my lips, loving that he felt like he needed to tell me that.

“I know I am,” I recognized. “It’s just another way I’d like to be claimed by you. Besides, I can just imagine how well you’d take care of me…”

Silence filled the room as we both got lost in the images of what could never be. Me with a fully-grown belly, walking like a penguin as he held up tiny onesies that looked ridiculous in his huge hands.

My heart ached for what could never be, surely, but I couldn’t really grieve a future I’d never have while I was so happy with the man who wanted to give me one.

“I’ll always take care of you.” He kissed the back of my hand, and even though he knew it wasn’t exactly what I meant, it was just enough. “I’m sorry that I can’t ever give you children.”

The guilt in his tone was almost palpable, and I wanted to do anything in my power to make it disappear. This wasn’t what I intended when I shared my sexual fantasies with him. They were just that - fantasies. I wouldn’t trade my reality for any alternative version the universe could offer me.

“It’s alright, babe,” I assured him, depositing a kiss on his chest, right where his heart would be beating for me if it could. “I think the way you want to claim me is just as territorial… and much more final.”

Bucky held me close, breathing me in - even if he didn’t need to do that to survive - before he asked me the last doubt that still hovered in his mind.

“Aren’t you scared?” And as I laid there in his embrace, feeling loved and cared for, I knew the only acceptable answer that I could give him was, “It’ll be worth it.”

[canesshi]

the bounty | western au

pairing: outlaw!Jungkook x bountyhunter!reader (f)

genre: angst, smut, enemies to ???

plot: There's a fivethousand dollar bounty on Jeon Jungkook's head and you are after it. A few unplanned events lead to the two of you trapped in a canyon and you learn that maybe, after all, he isn't as bad as he seems.

warnings: swearing, guns, blood, fighting, alcohol, SMUT, unprotected sex (because this is fiction! be safe irl), grinding, passionate sex, handjob, creampie, mentioned sexism, lmk if there is more

Standing in front of the wooden board, you ripped the piece of paper off the rusty nail that had been used to attach it to the wood. 'Wanted - dead or alive' it said in red stamped letters, the text framing the sketch of Jeon Jungkook's face.

"You finally wanna try again?"

Your gaze shot up to Jin, the sheriff, who leaned against the wooden wall of his sheriff's office. The golden star on his chest was as shiny as it could be; he cleaned it regularly, it was never dirty.

"They put a new price on his head, after all. Might as well try again. Fivethousand dollars are enough to retire.", you chuckled and looked back to the paper in your hands.

Jeon Jungkook.

The name was not unfamiliar. His face was plastered on every wall even in small towns, the law desperate to finally catch him. He was one of America's most wanted outlaws and since he had left his former gang he raged through the country like a hurricane; stealing, drinking, fighting, shooting, cheating, murdering, robbing. He had steadily increased the price on his head with every crime he commited and every bounty hunter had at one point been after him. The money was promising and experienced bounty hunters tended to underestimate his skills because of his age. He was fairly young for being such a successful outlaw, all on his own. Along with a few other criminals he was considered a 'legendary bounty'. Bounty hunters who could turn in such a bounty were well respected and feared amongst their peers, and the reward money was a nice addition. But Jeon Jungkook outsmarted and outshot all of them. Most of the hunters were dead or had given up.

You were after him once, too. It was when he was still with his old gang. They had been in a gang fight with another gang and were vunerable, the timing was perfect. But as you almost had him, he slipped through your fingers, jumping off the bridge and landing in the shallow waters. You had thought he had died but never found his corpse, only to read in a newspaper a few days later that he and his gang had robbed a stagecoach near a big city. Since then, his bounty had more than tripled. And if you were being honest, you were quite impressed. But now that you had had time to prepare and train, you were convinced you had a chance at catching him. Maybe you were being too optimistic and too full of yourself, but how would you ever find out if you didn't try?

"Are you sure it's a good idea? He does not hesitate to kill bounty hunters and he surely learned a few new things too. That kid is too skilled for his own good.", Jin wore a worried expression. The two of you had become something similar to friends over the past months since you usually collected the bounties in this tiny town because there was less competition this far away from the big city. "At least catch all the easier targets first so you are not leaving us behind with a bunch of criminals roaming the streets."

"Jin, you're the sheriff. You can handle an outlaw or two."

"But you do it so well. Also, who would we spend the tax money on? If there was no bounty money to pay, we would surely be rich in a few months, we can't have that!", he joked, fake worry in his voice. Then, he got serious again, stepping closer to you, taking the poster from your hands and inspecting it. "Be careful. I mean it. He is dangerous and I would feel lonely here without you bringing trouble into this small town."

"I'll be back, don't worry.", you nodded at him, smiling reassuringly but he didn't seem convinced.

"When will you leave? Where is he right now?"

"I'll pack my things and be off. There has been news he was sighted near Blackwater last. I'll be starting my search there.", you untied your horse from the post, stuffing the poster Jin had given you back into your bag. You mounted the animal, tipped your hat to Jin who smiled at you worriedly but nodded back and urged the animal under you forwards.

The ride to Blackwater had taken one and a half days. You had made camp outside of Armadillo to rest before you began your hunt. You needed all the energy you could possibly get, so a good night's rest was indispencable.

You woke up early, the sun had barely risen above the horizon. The weak sun warmed your chilled skin as you kicked dirt into the still glowing embers of your dying campfire. The air was fresh and you felt confident; you'd find him today and he wouldn't glide through your fingers again.

Spurring your horse on, you watched as the city in the distance grew closer with each stride your horse took. You slowed the animal down once you reached the cobbled street, looking into the dark alleyways, suspicious looking individuals meeting your gaze and snarling. They recognized bounty hunters when they saw them. But you were not here because of them. No, you were after someone way more valuable.

Stopping next to the sheriffs office, you tied your horse to the post outside and stepped into the office, your spurs clinking with every step. You halted in front of the main desk, the sheriff and his deputy looking you up and down.

"I'm after Jeon Jungkook.", you said, slapping his bounty poster onto the table. "I was told he was seen here recently, any idea where he was headed?"

The sheriff and deputy sent each other a look before the older gentleman breathed in deeply. "It is true. He was here recently, caused a bar fight and left once everyone was fighting, then, robbed the general store while everyone was occupied. Shot a few fellars on his way out of town." The sheriff took the paper, looked at Jungkook's picture before scoffing and letting the piece of paper fall back onto the table. "No offence, but you won't be able to turn him in. The best bounty hunters have been after him and ended up dying or giving up. I don't mean any harm when I say this but... maybe you bit off more than you can chew. He's not your everyday thief." You wanted to scoff and list all the outlaws you had turned in before but you knew better than to let yourself be agigated by his words.

"Whether or not I can handle him is my business. You want him caught or not? I just need all the information you got, the rest is not your problem.", you said calmy, one hand resting on your hip.

The sheriff hesitated for a bit before opening one of the drawers in the desk and pulling out a map. He flattened it out on the table and turned it so you could see well.

"We think he headed south into the canyons to lay low for a while. There have been no reports of him in other cities so he probably is still there. He might not be alone, we don't know for sure. Riding out there is a ticket straight to hell, ma'am."

You didn't wait for him to finish. You just tipped your head as a way of thanking him before turning your back and exiting the building. Not a minute longer was wasted in the town. You urged your horse to a gallop down the dusty road.

It was noon when you reached the canyons. The sun was beating down onto you and you were thankful for your hat that was providing enough shadow for your face to be safe from the scorching sunlight.

You stopped your horse on a ledge that hung over the valley of the canyons. Then in the distance you spotted a trail of smoke rising into the sky. A camp.

You shouldered your rifle before urging your horse on. The walls of the canyon were so high they were intimidating. The trails you rode through were narrow and once or twice your stirrup scraped against the dusty orange stone. You couldn't see much of the sky, so you weren't sure if you were even riding in the right direction.

You were as quiet as you possibly could, but each little clinking or thudding echoed through the canyon. You decided that it was best to leave your horse behind and continue on foot. It was quieter and you could escape more easily if you had to.

You dismounted on a wider spot, the stone walls further away from you and making you feel less claustophobic. You grabbed a few more bullets from your saddlebag along with your bag in case you needed water or were injured.

Patting your horse's neck one last time and hoping you would be able to return to it, you continued through the canyon, your steps still echoing but a lot quieter than your horse's hooves had been.

When you smelled burnt wood you stuck close to the stone walls, making sure to peek before charging the open area. You peeked into the camp but there was no sign of a human being. You carefully walked into the camp, watching as the fire was still burning. Someone had been here not too long ago. You looked around and noticed bags and a bedroll on the ground. Someone had definitely been here shortly before you, and they would probably be returning soon. You kneeled down to open one of the bags when suddenly a gunshot rang through the canyon, the bullet missing you by an inch.

You immediately sprung into action, ducking behind a wooden crate and firing a few shots into the direction the bullet had come from. It had been a revolver bullet so the attacker was close to you, had probably sneaked up behind you.

It was silent for a while before a bullet hit the crate, sending splinters flying. Shit, you needed a safer cover. But there was nothing here. The attacker was just waiting for you to move, you knew it. You needed a plan.

You pulled your waterskin from your bag and opened it up. If you could throw it into the fire, there would be enough steam for you to move to a safer position, right? You peeked around the crate and immideately a bullet hit the edge of the crate, close to your face.

Shit, if you moved your arm from the cover they would probably shoot it clean off. You were trapped and if your attacker decided he had waited long enough, he could just start blasting the crate to kill you. You looked through your bag only finding a few things that didn't help you out now. Unless...

You fished for the red neckerchief and threw it next to the crate, careful to not reveal your hands or arms. Instantly a few shots were fired, hitting the neckerchief until it was in shreds. That's when you heard the familiar click of a gun being reloaded. You didn't waste a second and threw the waterskin into the flames, successfully creating thick puffs of steam that blocked your attacker's view.

You quickly moved into a crevice in the stonewall, barely wide enough to fit your body but at least safer than the wooden crate. Bullets were fired at you, but you had been faster, and they had no clear view. Once the steam disappeared, you watched carefully. The attacker didn't know where you were, and you watched as the broad figure move from behind the canyon wall to a boulder a little closer to you. You acted instantly, shooting a few bullets with your revolver, even though your heart skipped a beat. You had only seen him shortly but you knew his figure.

You had found him. Jeon Jungkook.

You heard a low hiss so you must've gotten him somewhere. You wanted to squeal in victory when he propped himself up on the boulder and fired a few rounds of bullets. The stone wall held off each bullet but little pieces of stone splintered off the surface and created thick dust which stung in your eyes. But instead of cowering away you took the rifle from your back, aimed at the figures head and placed your hand on the trigger. He wasn't careful enough. You could kill him right then and there, but your ego got the better of you. If you'd bring him in alive, he would be worth a lot more and you wanted to see the look of defeat on his face when you bound his wrists and turned him into the sheriff's office as they placed him behind bars.

So instead of his head you aimed at his gun and pulled the trigger, successfully blasting it out of his hand. He ducked as soon as the shot was fired but he wasn't fast enough. It was silent after that, no shots from him as you waited for his next move.

"That's it. You've got me."

You perked up at his smooth voice. He sounded like he was amused.

"You can kill me.", he said, slowly raising from behind the boulder. His hands were in the air to show you he was unarmed.

"But you'd miss out on a lot of money. They want to see me hang, they'd pay a lot to see that. If I'm dead though... there won't be much of a hanging going on. They will be disappointed. Less money."

"You think I'm stupid enough to fall for your trap, Jeon?", you hissed, rifle trained on his head, ready to shoot if you needed to. You moved away from your cover slowly, showing him you had the upper hand now.

"Well, seeing how you only shot my gun and not my head, I assume you are either a terrible, terrible shot or you are after a great deal of money.", he wore a smug smile on his face but you didn't miss the droplets of sweat dripping down the side of his forehead. That's when you saw the trail of blood on his side. That's where you had gotten him earlier, you thought to yourself.

"But since I know you can shoot well, I know it's the latter. Last time we met, you almost had me, and now you finally finished what you started."

You felt uneasy. He remembered you? How in the hell, would he remember you when he had to deal with countless of bounty hunters almost every day? What made you special enough for him to remember?

Maybe this was a trick, you thought. He was riling you up on purpose.

You had only been distracted for half a second when suddenly you were hit in the head by a hard item. You stumbled back, the rifle falling from your hands as you clutches your now bleeding forehead.

That fucker had thrown his gun!

He charged at you while you were occupied and pressed you to the ground beneath him. He pulled a knife out of his boot and moved to plunge it into your chest but you kneed him into his back, making him topple over you so you could roll out beneath him, an elbow to his back. He grunted as he spun around, slicing the knife through the air, missing your arm by an inch.

"You have gotten better.", he snickered through gritted teeth.

"So have you.", you answered, grabbing a hand full of dust and throwing it into his face. He clawed at his eyes as you finally distanced yourself from him again. You grabbed your revolver from your gunbelt and pointed it at him, ready to shoot when he suddenly pulled on the neckerchief you were standing on, making you topple over as your feet lost their footing. Before he could reach you though, you were back on your feet, your gun nowhere to be found. Shit.

A cut into your arm made you cry out sharply. The cut wasn't too deep but it began bleeding quickly. "You son of a bitch!"

You grabbed his wrist before he could bring down the blade again. Your nails dug into his dirtied skin, making him grit his teeth. He was stronger than you, but you took advantage of the situation when you kneed him into the stomach. He huffed loudly and the knife fell from his hand. You caught it and chucked it far away. "You have a lot of nerves coming here!", he sneered and grabbed your neck, pushing you down. You moved your head quickly, biting down on his bleeding hand, tasting the iron on your tongue.

That's when you decided to take off. If you made it to your horse in time, you could get another gun or flee. But you were so disoriented, you didn't know which way you had come from. Jungkook recovered behind you, so you decided to just run, no matter what direction.

You ran as fast as you could but your could hear his fast footsteps behind you, catching up with you.

You scrambled up a canyon wall that had been carved into a stair-like formation by the waters a few million years ago. Jungkook followed you without a problem. His stamina was way better than yours.

Once you were on top of the stone platform and you could overlook the maze like crevices, Jungkook caught up to you.

The two of you were standing in front of each other. Chests heaving.

"This ends here. One of us is going to die. And if I think about it, It might as well be you."

He lurched forward grabbing your body and pressing you into the ground. He raised a fist, wanting to knock you out but you moved your head to the side, his fist meeting the stone beneath you. You tried pushing him off of you and ended up changing positions with him, straddling him, before he tried pushing you down again.

But as he grabbed your hips, pushing you off of his stomach, your back didn't meet the hard ground. It was met with breezy nothingness as your body slipped off the edge. His body was inevitable pulled down with yours, your hands clamped down on his shirt. Your mouth was open in a scream as you fell but no noises came out.

It felt like you were falling for hours, hands still clinging onto Jungkook's larger frame.

Hitting the ground was painless and everything went black not even a second later.

Your eyes peeled open slowly. There was dust, dried blood, sweat and tears. You could barely see.

Your nose was running and you didn't kow if it was tears or blood.

How in god's name were you alive? Were you even alive?

You carefully moved your arms under you, pushing yourself up from the ground. Your head was throbbing painfully and little stones dug into your palms as you looked around.

Jungkook's body laid a few feet away, head slumped against his chest as he sat up against the canyon wall. He had probably woken up and moved to sit up against it before falling unconscious again.

You groaned as you pushed yourself to your feet, moving over to his body. You gently pushed against his legs with your boot, trying to wake him... or check if he was still alive. He looked horrible. Clothes ragged and dusty all over. His once jet black hair was matted and coated with brownish dust. You probably didn't look any better.

You kicked him again, a little harsher this time and a low groan escaped his throat as he lifted his head slightly. He struggled to open his eyes, the sun blinding him as he looked up at you.

"I was hoping you had died.", he rasped.

"Well, it seems like we're both still alive."

"Not for much longer.", he scoffed bitterly. That's when you took in your surroundings for the first time. The two of you were trapped inside a crevice in the canyon, barely wide enough for a whole body to lay flat, it was a few metres long in length. The more devastating part was that there was no exit or way up. The two of you were trapped down here. "Shit.", you murmored.

"If you still want to kill me, do it now. At least I won't have to starve to death.", he said, gasping as he sat up straighter against the stone wall.

"No-... There has to be a way out. We could-... climb up?"

"And how are you going to do that? The stone is too smooth, there are no ledges to grip onto. And even if you did make it up a few metres, if you fell, you'd only injure yourself more."

"Oh, so you just want to give up and die?", you scoffed.

"Unless you have a realistic escape plan, then yes, that's the only thing left for us to do."

You felt your head throb again painfully. You should have listened to Jin. This had been a dumb idea. Anyone smarter than you would've just given up after escaping with your life last time but no- you just had to try it again. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

"Ah- fuck-" Your gaze dropped to Jungkook whose face was scrunched up in pain as he moved slightly. A hand was pressed to his side where you had shot him earlier. You didn't know how bad the wound was but it couldn't have been too deep considering he was still alive and not bleeding out. "I can't believe you really got me. I was slacking."

How he felt the need to talk to you was beyond you. You were his enemy but still - he was talking to you like you were an old aquaintance. You wanted to feel hatred towards him but it seemed like every bit of anger had left you. There was no point in fighting anyway - you'd both die down here.

"Let me see.", you forced out, kneeling down next to the man and trying to move his hand away from the injury. He didn't stop you but he seemed taken aback, eyes glued to yours as you pulled the button up shirt from his pants, careful to not irritate the wound too much. Once you had clear view of the gash, you inspected it. The bullet had only grazed him but it still left a decent gash on his side, skin ripped with ragged edges. It would take some time to heal and would probably leave a nasty scar, but what did it matter anyway? Neither of you would be alive then. How much you wished for one of those new devices you had read about in the newspaper - a telephone? Was that what they were called?

You went to grab something from your bag but it was no longer laying against you hip. Had it ripped off while fighting Jungkook? You looked around and saw the brown bag lying a few metres away. Thank god! Your bag was your ticket for living at least a few days longer. Dried meat and a small emergency flask of water could grant you enough time to think about all the times you had fucked up in your life or what desicions led you to be trapped here. Great.

You stood up to grab it and Jungkook followed your figure with curious eyes. He looked younger now that you really took him in. A boyish gleam in his eyes, though matted because of the circumstances. He was definitely not ugly either. If he had chosen a different life, you might have even bedded him.

What nonsense. You couldn't change a thing about the past and that was that. Thinking of all the possibilities if things had been different was wasted time.

You returned to Jungkooks side, fishing for a herb from the inside of your bag. You stuck it in your mouth, chewing it up into a paste before spitting it onto your fingers. "I know I'll die anyway but I'd appreciate it if you didn't give me an infection."

You just rolled your eyes as you applied the paste to the wound making him hiss slightly. You needed something to bandage the wound with but your neckerchief had been left behind at Jungkook's camp and was ripped apart anyway. You noticed that he was wearing one around his neck and went to untie it, hands combing through his slightly long black hair to get the knot loose. You didn't realize how close you were to him until you felt his warm breath on your own face. His eyes were locked to yours as he searched for something in them. Your brows furrowed and you quickly pulled back, unfolding the neckerchief and roling it into a bandage to tie around his waist. The fabric was barely long enough to actually be tied together but you managed, even though you must have hurt hime quite a bit in the process.

"Didn't take you to be such a whiny boy.", you said jokingly.

He didn't answer, only inspecting the bandage around his middle. You opened up the waterskin and poured it over his face earning a displeased grunt from Jungkook. You wiped the dirt, grime and blood from his face with your hands. "I could have done that myself, you know?" You poured a little water into your hands, cleaning your own face, being careful to only use as little water as possible.

"Why are you bandaging me up? Afraid you'll go to hell if you don't start doing nice things now?", he asked after some time, hairs falling into his eyes as he rested his head against the stone wall behind him. You had decided to sit opposite of him, sitting cross legged.

The truth was, you didn't even know the answer to his question. Why did you treat his wound? It was pointless anyway.

"Well, I guess in the face of death, people start to act strangely.", you answered, head turned away from him. Jungkook chuckled and licked his dry lips, throat feeling uncomfortably dry too.

"A shame that it has to end like this.", he then said,"I was wishing to escape you one more time. Bruising your ego a bit, you know?" He was laughing to himself, swallowing the bit of saliva his body could muster up.

"It looked more like you were trying to get me to meet my maker.", you answered, looking over to him, your lips curved slightly upwards now.

"You were better than I anticipated and I was taken aback. Didn't want to die, to be honest. You left me no choice."

You scoffed, the smile now wiped off your face. "Yeah right. You had the choice to not be a fucking outlaw in the first place!"

"Did I really?", he spat sourly.

You went silent then, watching as his brows furrowed.

"I had noone when I was younger. Should I have moped around the streets looking through the trashcans for food like the other street kids?" You knew who Jungkook was talking about. Homeless children were no rare scene, especially in big cities like Saint Denise. There was no furture for them outside of crime and gangs.

"When Namjoon found me, I was at the brink of starvation. He took me in and taught me everything I know about guns, horses and money. I truly did not have a choice if I wanted to survive."

He swallowed thickly before continuing.

"Besides, Namjoon always taught me how fucked up this so called society is. We just wanted to be free, to not be bound by laws and power-hungry people. Can you really blame us for that? Politicians and lawmen are not any different from us outlaws, they just have a badge that excuses every crime they commit against minorities."

"That's no excuse for the things you did. I am not here to try to make you regret your past but killing innocent folk is not any better than they are."

"We never intended to kill innocent people. I won't lie and say I have never killed anyone innocent but that was never our goal. We were just after the rich and powerful men. It doesn't matter now anyway. I left the gang a long while ago."

You didn't say anything after that, head resting back against the warm stone and watching as the sky slowly turned different shades of orange, red and pink.

You rumaged through your bag before feeling the cool glass against your fingers and pulling the whiskey bottle out. Jungkook looked amused as you took a big swig, handing it to him afterwards. He took the bottle gratefully and took a few big swigs, face scrunching up in distaste but continuing to down the liquid. When the bottle left his lips they were coated in the smooth liquid, glistening in the golden sunlight. He looked pretty. And that wasn't the booze talking... not yet at least.

"What about you? You had to listen to me whining about my shitty childhood, and now I'll listen to your tragic story."

"What makes you think I had a tragic childhood?", you teased, taking the whiskey from him and nipping at the bottle.

"Oh, please!", he huffed, "You are a bounty hunter and you want to tell me that you had a nice childhood? I have heard way better lies than that." You laughed at that, passing the bottle back to him.

"Well, my story is not as dark and dramatic as yours. I just wanted to catch bad guys and get decent money for it. They don't allow women to join the lawmen and even if they did, I guess we have one thing in common; I don't want to have anything to do with those people. I know their system is corrupt, only made to fit rich white men."

Jungkook seemed surprised. You were on different sides, you were supposed to represent the law and everything Jungkook hated but you were agreeing with him? He barely knew anyone that wasn't an outlaw or a beggar that thought like this.

He clutched the bottle tighter and nipped at it again, letting the liquid burn his throat. Maybe, just maybe, if things were different, if you two were to get out of here, you could start again? Get to know each other as people and not as enemies. It was foolish to think of anything in the future, seeing how you were doomed down here, but he wanted to know you. You were pretty, he wasn't blind. If the circumstances had been different he would have loved to bed you.

He shook his head, squeezing one hand into his pocket and pulling out a tiny photograph. You scooted closer until you were sitting next to him, taking the whiskey bottle that was almost empty now. It hadn't been full before, but still.

"This was the gang.", Jungkook explained, passing the photo to you. You looked at the faces, all smiling at the camera. You spotted Jungkook in the middle next to a tall man who had proudly swung an arm over his shoulder. If you didn't know any better you would have assumed that this was just a group of friends getting their picture taken. "That's namjoon, right?", you said and pointed to the tall male. Jungkook nodded, smiling widely. "And that's Jimin, Taehyung, Yoongi, Hoseok and Soekjin." You laughed as you spotted Jin, a wide smile on his lips as he stood on the other side of Jungkook.

Wait a damn minute... wait. a. minute.

"Jin??", you gasped and Jungkook looked at you questioningly. "How is Jin in this picture? He- He's a good friend of mine and he's also a sheriff!"

"Oh, so that's where he went.", Jungkook mumbled to himself but you heard him loud and clear. You waited for him to explain.

"Jin was part of our gang but he mostly just tried to get the law off our back. He taught me a lot about who I am. Unfortunately, he left the gang one year before I did. Said he couldn't identify himself with the gang anymore... with what we had become. It's true, we were more ghosts than people by the end. I'm no saint - I know that - but I guess I never truly knew how much of a lowlife I was until Jin left. He was partly the reason I left a year later. How is he doing? How do you know him?"

"Well, I'd say he's pretty well. He is the sheriff after all, that gets you some decent money. I turned a lot of the targets in that he hung up on the bounty wall. We started chatting and then went out drinking sometimes."

"Oh, so you two are-...?", Jungkook gestured with his hands, trying to bring across his point without actually saying anything, hoping you got what he was trying to ask.

"No! God, no!", you laughed and Jungkook perked up at the pleasant sound. "Just friends. Collegues of sorts. But now it makes a lot of sense why he was trying to convince me to not go after you. He also took down your poster a few times. He always said it was because you were too damgerous and he wanted to protect reckless bounty hunters." You laughed. Imagining Jin in a gang of outlaws, hah! You would have to squeeze some details out of him!

Your face fell instantly. You couldn't. Because you wouldn't see him again. Maybe, just maybe Jin would come to look for you in a few days and find your rotting corpse in this hell hole. You chuckled bitterly to yourself.

"How much is it now?", Jungkook asked.

You took the bounty poster out of the bag and handed it to him. It was a little ragged now but still readable.

"Wow that's a new record. At least they didn't fuck up my face again with an ugly sketch." You smiled again as you watched him read his poster. "I'm sorry that you won't be getting the money now. But at least you managed to eliminate another bad guy. You'll surely be a hero then, right? People only idolize the dead. Like painters, you know? Maybe they'll write a campfire song about the bounty huntress that killed an outlaw by starving both herself and him to death in a canyon." You laughed and slapped his stomach lightly, already having forgotten about his wound. He hissed and moved away from the touch and you panicked. "Oh shit, I'm so sorry, I forgot!"

"It's fine.", he spoke through gritted teeth.

"Wait let me see if I disturbed the wound."

You pulled up his shirt, only now noticing the hard muscles that adorned his abdomen. You tried to lift the bandage but the shirt kept falling over your hands. "Take this shit, it's annoying!", you said impatiently. Instead of just holding the shirt up though, he pulled it off over his head, exposing his upper body. You didn't mean to stare but his body was carved by the gods themselves. You tore your gaze away from him and back to the wound. It seemed to be okay, no fresh blood or other substances leaking from it. "Okay, I think everything is fine."

"So you had me remove my shirt for your own entertainment, or-..."

You felt your cheeks getting warm as he teased you, holding your gaze.

"You-! You were the one to remove it! I told you to hold it up!"

"Well you did seem to enjoy it though."

You grabbed the shirt that was laying in his lap and threw it into his face, earning a low chuckle. He grabbed your arm and pulled you next to him again, taking the whiskey and downing the rest of it before turning his head to you. You looked up at his eyes, your own eyes flickering to his lips every so often. They looked plush and pink now, so kissable. Maybe it was the alcohol clouding your senses.

You went to turn away but Jungkook took your chin carefully, angling your face up so you had to look at him before placing his lips on yours in a sweet kiss.

You were surprised, shocked even, but you didn't pull away. His kiss was intoxicating and he tasted to good even though there was a hint of whiskey still on his lips.

He pulled back a few seconds later, looking for something in your eyes. "If your bounty hunter friends saw you right now what would they say?", he teased, voice barely a whisper.

"I think they would grant me one last nice thing before I die.", you whispered back, leaning back into Jungkook and capturing his lips in a more heated kiss. His tongue slid against your mouth and you opened it instantly, letting his greedy tongue explore your wet mouth. You moaned as Jungkook grabbed your hips, pulling you into his lap so he didn't have to crane his neck to the side. You fit into his lap like you belonged there, like you were meant to sit there at all times.

What on earth were you doing?

But did it matter? If you were to die soon, you'd at least be able to boast to the demons of hell that you had fucked Jeon Jungkook.

You ground yourself into his lap and he moaned, almost desperately, as your crotch prerssed against his growing hardness. You felt blood rush to your middle, throbbing in need, at the feeling of his hardening member. He pawed at your shirt, pulling it from your pants and pulling it off your body swiftly. His lips found your neck and colarbones in an instant and didn't miss the opportunity to mark you. He was sucking and biting your skin as you threw your head back, hands tangled into the long curly strands in the back of his head. You kept grinding into his crotch, wanting to hear him moan and hiss.

"Fuck-... If you keep going at it like that, I'll cum in my pants."

"We better get them off then.", you answered, feeling for the buttons and popping them open one after the other. You palmed his hardness through his pants before trying to slide them down further, which wasn't possible due to him sitting on the ground. Instead, Jungkook grabbed his shirt that was by his side, threw it on the ground behind you and gently lowered your back onto it, making sure to not hurt you. Once he was towering over you, you slid his pants down further along with his underwear, grabbing the throbbing and hot member. The skin was silky smooth and precum was already leaking from the red tip. You spat into your hand to make the glide easier and started stroking him. Jungkook dropped his head to your shoulder, groaning as you jerked him off with your soft hands. It had been some time since Jungkook had actually been with someone, so he was trying his hardest to not cum right then and there.

He occupied himself with releasing your breasts from your breastband, simply ripping it open, not patient enough to unravel it slowly. His mouth found your breasts as he kissed them all over, tongue flicking the hardened nubs. You felt yourself getting wetter and wetter as he kissed and licked your body. God, he probably didn't even know what he was doing to you. Oblivious to the mess that coated the inside of your underwear.

You let go of his hardness as he kissed lower and lower, reaching your pants and unbottoning them slowly. He kissed each newly revealed part of skin before pulling off your boots and then the rest of your pants along with your underwear.

"Fuck. I have barely started and you are already soaking wet.", he groaned, lips exploring your hips and thighs. He was growing impatient, you could sense the urgeness in his kisses and touches.

His hands glided up your body again, reaching your breasts and squeezing them gently. He places open mouthed kisses against your mouth, licking into it hungrily. His wet, hot length was pressed against you as he settled in between your legs. "Fuck, you are so pretty, wanted to fuck you since last time you tried to catch me." You groaned at his confession. So he truly did remember you from last time you were trying to kill him.

"Wondered what you'd look like beneath me instead of behind a gun. Screaming my name in esctasy and not anger."

He kissed you gently before grabbing his length and running the silky head through your wet folds, passing by your clit and making you clench around nothingness. "Wanna make you cum. Cry out my name and cling to my body."

You moaned at his dirty words, feeling his head press into your entrance. "You want it?", he asked, kissing your lips and biting the lower one. "Fuck yes, Jungkook. Fuck me, please!"

He didn't waste any longer and burried himself into you deeply. Both of you groaned as he pushed into you until you couldn't take more of him. He was balls deep in you, your walls pulsing around him as he moved slightly. He gave you time to adjust to his size before starting a rythm that felt right for him. You locked your legs behind his hips, pushing him deeper into you with weath thrust. He was setting your body on fire, his length hitting all the right spots inside you.

You moaned and pulled his face into the crook of your neck, holding him so close you didn't know where his body ended and yours began. You could feel tiny stones digging into your back through the shirt he had laid down but you couldn't care less. He was panting next to your ear, skin burning up against you as he fastened his rythm. "Oh fuck- fuck. You feel so good around me. Such a tight little cunt-" You couldn't even respond because you were lost in the feeling of him pushing against your cervix with every thrust. It made you feel so full of him.

He hoisted his body onto his forearm, muscles flexing and giving you a nice view. He took two fingers and brought them to your mouth, making you suck on them. When he was satisfied with your work, he pulled them out, snaking the two digits between your bodies and finally findiny your clit. Your mouth fell open in a silent moan when he drew circles onto the sensitive nub. You clenched around him tightly and he grunted in response. With his fingers working away at your clit, you were barreling towards your orgasm. You wanted to tell him how good he made you feel, how the drag of his cock set your walls on fire and how you were close, so fucking close. But instead only breathy moans left your throat, gripping at his body tightly, as if you were afraid to slip over the edge because you knew it would be overwhelming.

"You- shit, you keep getting tighter. I'm not gonna last long with this tight cunt.", he announced, his rhythm faltering.

"Jungkook- fuck, I'm gonna-", you were silenced as you tipped over the edge, the pleasure almost too much for you to handle. You clenched hard around him, making it almost impossible for Jungkook to keep fucking into you. But he only needed two more thrusts before he was following you into his own high. A throaty groan left him, as he pressed himself into you as far as he could, pulling out only a bit before slamming back in, his release filling you up.

The both of you slowly calmed down, panting heavily against each other's mouths. He kissed you passionatley, moving to your jawline and down your throat. When he pulled back and looked at you, you gently moved the dark strands of sweaty hair out of his face. His eyes were locked with yours and you couldn't help but feel the warmth in your stomach as he looked down at you so lovingly. He proceeded to pull out, his release leaking out of you.

You helped each other dress. No word was spoken, but it wasn't awkward. Both of you still feeling the afterglow of an amazing orgasm.

That's when you head the sounds of hooves on hard stone. Jungkook quickly pulled your body to his, shielding you from the figure that leaned over the edge and peered down at the two of you.

"What in the world-... at least you're alive, I guess."

"Soekjin!?"

Jin had managed to pull Jungkook and you out with the lasso he had brought. The rough rope left slight burns on your skin but you figured it was better than starving to death down there.

While you were reliefed to see your friend, you were also confused as to how he had found you or why he was here in the first place.

"I wanted to help you catch he criminal!", Jin quickly said, grabbing onto Jungkook as if he hadn't casually been standing next to him the entire time. It made sense though. Jin didn't know that you knew of his history with the young outlaw.

"Jin drop the act. I wanna know why exactly you never told me that you were in a gang?!", you said, drinking from Jin's water bottle greedily. He choked on nothing and quickly turned to Jungkook who sheepishly grinned back at him. His ears turned six shades redder as he scratched the back of his neck nervously. "I- I thought it wouldn't bee such a good idea to tell a bounty hunter I was part of Jeon's gang. Who knows what you'd have done to me!", he joked. You scoffed.

"But seriously Hyung, what were you doing out here?", Jungkook piped up.

"Well both of my friends were gonna rip each other apart, couldn't let that happen right?", he laughed before suddenly frowning deeply. "Wait a minute... Wait a goddamn minute! Why the hell aren't the two of you ripping each other apart?"

"Believe me, we were, before we fell down into the ravine."

Jin eyed you suspiciously as he took note of your develished states... from all the fighting, of course!

He didn't question it any further.

The three of you proceed to get your horse that you had left behind as it was currently grazing peacefully. You were sat behind the saddle because Jungkook insisted on taking the reigns. Your arms were holding onto his tiny waist, feeling his muscles through his shirt. He was going to be the death of you. You were careful not to touch his injury, though it could not have been hurting too bad considering how he had fucked you earlier.

Jin had suggested bringing Jungkook to town and treating his wounds before he got going again. You had insited that you should get the fivethousand dollar since you technically were about to turn Jungkook in. Jin had protested to say the least.

As you were halfway there, Jungkook stopped the horse suddenly, making Jin, who had been riding ahead, stop as well and looking over his shoulder questioningly. If you had been able to see Jungkook's face you might have been able to predict his next move but since you couldn't you were more than surprised when he suddenly pushed you off the horse.

"Jungkook what the hell-", you said as you landed in the dirt, shoulder aching slightly.

"Sorry, I think it is better this way.", he grinned. "Also, where would be the fun in just staying? You'll seek me out again. My bounty will keep increasing for sure." A smirk was plastered on his lips as he urged the horse forward. "Until we meet again. I'm looking forward to it."

And with that he was gone. His figure disappearing into the darkness of the night. You couldn't even be mad at him. He had managed to escape from you in the end after all. You smiled to yourself, turning to Jin whose eyebrows were raised in surprise as he watched Jungkook disappear. Maybe he was right, it was better this way, he would have been recognized in town and all hell would've broken loose. Also, this way it would be way more fun.

You chuckled to yourself before you made a devastating realization.

"That fucker just took off with MY horse!"

[agustdakasuga]

Between The Bloodshed | Chapter 19

Genre: Mafia!AU, Angst, Romance, Fluff

Pairing: OT7 x Reader

Characters: Doctor!Reader, Gangster!Namjoon, Gangster!Seokjin, Gangster!Yoongi, Gangster!Hoseok, Gangster!Jimin, Gangster!Taehyung, Gangster!Jungkook

Summary: Being a freelance doctor, this was just supposed to be any other job, helping a private client and taking care of him through his recovery. But you were not expecting to get caught in something so much darker that would change your life entirely.

Today’s the day. No more running away. It’s time to face the truth. 

Warning: This story is fictional and has nothing to do with real life events or the actual members of BTS. It may contain depictions of violence, blood shed/ gore and mentions of abuse. Please read at your own discretion.

When you stirred awake, your eyes widened and you shot up. You looked around the room and realised that you were in Namjoon’s room, the multiple books on the shelves being a dead giveaway. On the nightstand beside you was a scribbled note. 

‘Had to attend a meeting. Take the day off and rest. - Namjoon’

You sighed, falling back onto the bed. Looking down, you weren’t in your dress anymore. You only hoped that the boys weren’t daring enough to change you and in your drunk stupor, you were able to change yourself. 

“Kill me.” You screamed into the pillow. 

*KNOCK KNOCK*

“Go away.” You groaned. 

“Good morning.” Taehyung came in with a grin. You sat up in annoyance, running your fingers through your hair in an attempt to undo all the tangled knots from your sleep. 

“Here, this will help.” Taehyung poked your shoulder. He handed you the hangover pill and a glass of lemon water. 

“Thanks...” You swallowed the pill with the cold liquid. Sighing tiredly, you fell back onto Namjoon’s pillow. Since it was obvious that you slept next to the guy, who is also your boss, you didn’t care that Taehyung was seeing you enjoying the warmth and comfort of Namjoon’s bed. After all, you were too tired and hungover to care. 

“Hey, Taehyung. Where’s Jimin?” You asked. 

“Still sleeping. Whenever Jimin drinks as much as he did last night, he sleeps for a really long time. Like... until the following evening.” Taehyung shrugged. You nodded your head. 

“Do you... feel better? After last night.” Taehyung seemed a little cautious with his question. 

“Do I feel better? Well, I did feel more relaxed last night at the club. But right now, my stomach is churning and my head is pounding so not really.” You chuckled. Seeing that you still joked around, Taehyung grinned. 

“Need help getting back to your room?” 

“I can manage.” You forced a smile. Taehyung just let you grab onto his arm to stand up. He walked beside you just to keep you company. 

“Wait, Tae. Did... anything happen last night when Jimin and I came home from the bar?” You grabbed his wrist suddenly, startling the boy. He blinked, turning to look at you. 

“What do you mean?” He tilted his head. 

“Well, I obviously don’t remember how I even came home last night. And something must have happened for me to end up in Namjoon’s bed. Also, I know how bad I can get when I’m drunk. So tell me, how bad was it?” You interrogated. 

“You weren’t bad, doc. Don’t worry.” He assured. You let out a sigh of relief at his words. 

“You were cute.” He added with a snicker. You froze in your spot as your eyes widened. Just how drunk were you last night? That itself made you feel like throwing up even more. 

“I need to see Jimin and... or Namjoon.” You detoured and left his side. Taehyung trailed behind you as you went downstairs. 

“Wait, I wanted to ask-”

“Oh, (y/n)! You’re awake!” Jungkook ran over to you excitedly, cutting Taehyung off. You gave the youngest a slightly weird look, taking a step back. Why was he so excited?

“What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing. I need to see Namjoon.” You cleared your throat. 

“Oh, come on! You already didn’t want to leave his side last night! And now, you’re already looking for him the moment you wake up! What about me?!” Jungkook growled unhappily. You cupped a hand over your mouth to mask your shock. Behind you, Taehyung was sending signals to Jungkook to stop scaring you about last night. 

“Doc? I thought I heard you.” Namjoon poked his head out from behind the pillar, walking over. You gave an awkward wave. 

“Morning?” You rubbed the back of your neck, embarrassed. Namjoon chuckled, still finding your adorable, as he patted the top of your head. You shrunk back. 

“Uh, Namjoon... I didn’t do anything weird last night... Did I?” 

“No, you’re good.” He ruffled your hair. Before you could question him further, Hoseok came and tapped the watch on his wrist. 

“Listen, doc. We’ll talk when I get back.” Namjoon waved to everyone and rushed off with Hoseok, who winked at you with a giggle. Just then, Jin came out of the kitchen with a maid behind him. The maid placed a bowl of warm rice porridge on the table for you. 

“Here. It’ll make you feel better. It’s abalone porridge.” Jin said. 

“Thank you. I really needed this.” You took a spoon. The boys hung around you as you ate your food. 

“I’m hungover, not unstable. You guys don’t have to wait for me. Go do your work or something.” You raised your eyebrow at them. The boys cast each other looks but didn’t move. 

“It’s okay.” Taehyung said. 

“So, (y/n)-”

“I’m done eating. Namjoon said it’s my day off so run along. Go do whatever you mafia guys do.” You waved them off like little kids. You didn’t even hear Jin as you jogged up the stairs and disappeared into the hallway.

“Yoongi? You there?” You knocked on his room door. There was no reply. Even when you pressed your ear to the door, there was no sound of movement or any grunts. 

“Doctor. Are you looking for young master Yoongi?” The sudden appearance of the butler made you jump. 

“Uh... yeah. But it’s nothing important.” You blushed.

“Young master Yoongi just came back from a lunch appointment. He is in the other wing.” He informed. You nodded your head, thanking him with a pat on the shoulder before shuffling over to the other wing of the house. Your hand hovered over the golden handles of the double doors. The last time you were here, you weren’t exact the most comfortable. 

“Y-Yoongi?” You called out as you entered. For the first time, the wing was so silent and dark. Heading up the stairs, you looked at the various labelled doors that lined the hallways. 

‘Min Yoongi’

You knocked but again, there was no reply. Pursing your lips, you decided to go in anyway. It was a simple office, monochromatic with some dark blues.

“What are you doing here?” Yoongi’s sudden voice shocked you. You turned around to face the male, who had a stoic look on his face. In his hand was a crystal glass with whiskey. 

“Looking for you.” You replied. Duh. He nodded his head slowly, entering the office and closing the door behind him. He took a sip of his drink. 

“Want some?” He shook his glass. 

“No, thanks. Hungover.” You cringed as you pointed to your still throbbing temple. 

“Right. You were quite different last night. I don’t think any of us have ever seen you like that before. You didn’t want to let Namjoon go because of his ‘cute dimples’.” He said. Your jaw dropped slightly as you held your cheeks, totally wanting to bury yourself right now. 

“Namjoon said I didn’t do anything weird.” You whimpered. 

“Right...” Yoongi gave a slightly amused face. 

“Actually, I wanted to talk about-” You were cut off when Yoongi tugged you by your arm into his embrace. He resting his eyes against your shoulder, arms around your waist tightly. 

“Why doesn’t he want to get better?” He whispered, fists bunching the back of your shirt. 

“Yoongi...” 

“I went to see him. He didn’t even want to see me. But I just had to know... why he doesn’t want to be treated. He just... accepts it. Accepts that he is going to die.” He started to shake a little, voice cracking.

“I promised to stay awake if he lets me help him. But even then, he didn’t want it.” You smoothed to back of his head, remembering what Jimin told you. 

“Yoongi hyung always wanted to be close to his brother. But his father never allowed Geumjae hyung and Geumjae’s mother near them.” Jimin explained as he sipped his drink.

“Why?” 

“Geumjae hyung was the son of his past lover. Sure, he allowed the mother and son to stay in the same estate and still provided for them, a little. But as a kid, when Yoongi went to find Geumjae hyung to play, his father would get so angry and punish them, especially Geumjae hyung. That’s when Yoongi hyung’s father adopted Hoseok hyung.” Jimin shrugged. 

“That’s horrible. He’d rather adopt another child than to let both his sons be siblings.” You shook your head. 

“That’s how Yoongi hyung’s father was.” Jimin sighed. 

“I’m glad I never have to meet him.” 

“Once Geumjae hyung was old enough to provide for himself and his mother, he moved them out of the family estate. When Yoongi hyung found them again, apparently Geumjae hyung’s mom had already passed away.” Jimin said. 

“She passed away?” You asked. 

“According to Geumjae hyung, even as his mother grew older, she was mentally unstable. From the heartbreak and abandonment...” 

“I can imagine how hard it must have been for Geumjae to watch his mother go through that, and not be able to get over it, even as she aged.” You felt sad for Geumjae and Yoongi.

“Geumjae hyung’s resentment just... carried on to Yoongi hyung. I guess Geumjae hyung felt that he and his mother were replaced. Rather than blame a dead man, he’d rather blame Yoongi hyung.” Jimin finished, ordering another round of drinks. 

“And even so, Yoongi still wants to help him when he’s sick.” You looked at your empty glass. 

“To Yoongi hyung, just knowing you still have family alive is enough.”

“I’m sorry things turned out like this, Yoongi.” Pulling away, you looked at his face. He looked so exhausted and emotionally drained, even if it had only been one day. 

“You should rest, Yoon. You’ve had a long day.” You told him, taking the glass from his hand. Usually, Yoongi would snap at whoever takes his drink from him but with you, he let you take it without a fight. 

“Let’s go?” Yoongi waited for you at the door of his office. You nodded, walking with him out of the other wing. 

“Jimin will be asleep the rest of the day. He doesn’t usually get tipsy but he does sleep for a while after a night of drinking.” He informed. 

“Yeah, Tae told me.” You chuckled. 

“I hope you don’t mind that Jimin told me a little background about you and your brother. I just wanted to understand a little bit more... which I did. That’s why I was looking for you, to talk to you and maybe, understand a little more.” You said, putting your hands in your pockets. You were ready for him to get angry that you invaded his private life.

“Jimin knows what to share about my past on my behalf. I trust him.” He shrugged and you let out a mental sigh of relief. The both of you stopped in front of Yoongi’s bedroom. 

“Rest well.” You wished. 

“You too.” He forced a smile. Just as you were about to turn to head to your own room, you heard him clear his throat. 

“Actually, (y/n)...” He rubbed the back of his neck. 

“Hmm?” You titled your head. 

“Nevermind.” He shook his head before entering his room and shutting the door. You stared at the black door for a few seconds before you shrugged and headed back to your own room. 

“Jimin?!” You opened your bedroom door and was shocked to see the male in your bed. He was sleeping soundly, hugging your pillow. You fed Kookie his lunch before heading over to peek at Jimin. True to that, he was really fast asleep. You sighed with your hands on your hips. 

“I’m always finding you or Jungkook in my bed. And lately, Taehyung too.” You shook your head but of course, he didn’t respond. 

“At least scoot over.” You chuckled, pushing him to the side before you slid in, under the covers. Jimin didn’t even stir as you moved him or stole your pillow back from him. 

“Goodnight... I guess?” You closed your eyes. 

-

“Wait, you didn’t ask her?” The older ones all asked their maknae with crossed arms. They were in disbelief, having believed that Jungkook would be the first one to ask you to the ball. 

“I was going to. But Yoongi hyung just had to come and start such big drama.” Jungkook glared. Yoongi rolled his eyes with a snort. 

“Well, you did the same to me when I was going to ask her!” Taehyung sneered. Jungkook frowned. 

“I’m surprised you didn’t ask her.” Jin turned to Jimin. 

“That night out was for her to let go of her stress. It was about her, not me.” Jimin shrugged. The boys were all squabbling downstairs. When this whole ‘plus 1′ incident came up, they all planned to individually ask you to the ball that was taking place tonight but somehow, they all kept getting interrupted by each other. 

“She fell asleep before I could ask her. I was supposed to ask her when I got back but I was busy cleaning someone’s mess up.” Namjoon hissed, looking at Jimin, who was more interested in inspecting his nail bed. 

“Can we get back to this? So no one asked her?” Yoongi broke all the arguments and squabbles. 

“You didn’t ask her? I heard from one of the butlers you were with her in the other wing for a while. You could have asked her.” Jin asked. 

“No... There were more important things to discuss.” He crossed his arms. 

“The plan was to have someone ask her! Rather it be one of us than some stranger!” Hoseok said, annoyed. 

“I’m ready!” Your voice was heard. The boys were not ready for what they saw. You were in a light blue dress, the bodice decorated with intricate floral lace patterns and sparkles, the ends of the skirt just brushing against the floor. 

“Wow.” The boys were speechless. It would be cliche to say you looked like a princess but you did. 

“Is it too much?” You raised an eyebrow with an amused laugh. The boys didn’t say anything but shook their heads, you were mesmerising. Although, what was able to break them out of their trance was when you walked forward to sling arms with Jin. He smiled down at you. 

“H-Hyung... Y-You...” 

“Jin asked if I had a ‘plus 1′ to tonight and I was so busy to find someone to go with me. He offered to be my partner for tonight and I didn’t have any objection.” You shrugged. 

“I never said I didn’t ask her.” Jin snickered. The rest all looked at him with wide eyes of betrayal. 

“Let’s go.” Jin patted your hand and led you out. The other 6 trailed behind, glaring daggers into the back of Jin’s head. Jin opened the door of his chauffeur limousine for you. You bowed your head slightly and slid in. 

“Hyung!” Jungkook shouted in outrage. 

“All’s fair in love and war. Don’t worry, I know what to do.” Jin waved the others off. Hoseok went to the other door. 

“Nu uh. This is for me and her. You guys ride separately.” Jin pointed to the other car behind. Their jaws dropped, their cunning hyung already had everything planned. He played them and they fell for it like fools! Unwillingly, they trudged to the car while Jin slid into the seat beside you. You tilted your head in confusion. 

“Don’t worry about them.” Jin chuckled. 

“I’m excited to be going to an event where I don’t have my parents giving me a full briefing on who is who and what is what.” You smiled, smoothing your dress down. 

“Yes, it’s a celebration for you too, doc. You deserve to enjoy it” Jin nodded his head. When the car stopped, the door was opened for you. 

“Good evening.” The staff bowed deeply to you and Jin. 

“Hey.” You greeted them. 

“Bosses!” Seeing you and Jin, with the other 6 behind, everyone in the ballroom stopped to give the 8 of you a deep bow. Namjoon walked down first while you stayed behind Jin. The boys were received with big smiles and hugs. 

“Come on, (y/n). Let’s go to the bar!” The maknaes were quick to steal you when they saw Jin distracted, speaking to the manager for his casino. You giggled, following their lead. All of you ordered your drinks and clinked your glasses together. 

“Don’t you guys have people to greet too?” You asked the 3 boys, sipping from your glass. 

“Nah.” Taehyung waved you off. 

“Are you guys starting the party without us?” The 4 older ones soon joined. They ordered their drinks to toast with you. The 8 of you clinked all your glasses together with cheer. 

“To, doc!” Hoseok grinned. 

“To preventing us from dying!” Jimin added and everyone burst out laughing. You drank your drinks in one shot. 

“I was just doing my job, boys. It was no big deal, really.” You smiled softly, looking at all of them. It wasn’t long until they were all being pulled away by their staff to talk. 

“We’ll be back! Stay right here, I’ll come get you. There’s another surprise for you.” Jin winked. You nodded your head, waving with a smile as he was dragged away. You grabbed a plate of food and stayed by the bar, picking at the food with the forks. Some of the boys’ workers that you recognised came to chat and speak with you. 

“Ah, please excuse me.” You said as you slipped away from the conversation, heading to the washroom. 

“Ugh, finally. Some peace and quiet.” Yoongi grumbled as he stepped out onto the big balcony with his brothers. The others nodded in agreement, finally getting some space to breathe. 

“Where’s (y/n)?” Jungkook asked. 

“Jin hyung went to get her. I mean, afterall, she is his date tonight.” Namjoon chuckled. 

“Ugh, don’t remind me.” Jungkook said sourly. It was safe to say, the other 6 were still not over the fact that their eldest was able to sneak past all of them to ask you to be his partner for the event tonight. 

“Whatever, after tonight, hopefully we’ll all have the chance to take her out on a date one day.” Hoseok comforted the maknae. 

“That’s if she decides to accept us.” Yoongi snorted. 

“I think I see hyung coming! Everyone, stand together.” Taehyung said excitedly. All the boys straightened up, standing in a sort of straight line. But they were not expecting Jin to run out of the ballroom alone, a look of fear and panic on his face. 

“(y/n)’s gone.” Jin announced. 

~~ 

Ko-fi link

Series Masterlist

Tag list 1

@veronawrites @diamonddia-mond @georgie-me-myself-i @saveme-imfine @openup-yourmind @purelyecstacy @nlost21 @yiyi4657 @kimmieloveswho @i-like-puppy-mg @cait-with-luv @s-tae-rrynight @supertweetycherry @carolinexkpop @unatempesta-dipensieri @telepathylftv @taradevonne @top-crop @ifellinluvwithdorks @btslvts @bt21chim @kpopiskpopyunho @egm09 @designjet @lasagnaisjustspaghetticake @3musez @bangtansleftnut @deeepvibes @barbikatherine @xxminilah @missmxqn @kimahnjung98 @jbunnys-world @itspwi @gold--gucciempress @rainbow-zebra-unicorns @sinceritythatcouldntbedelivered @holaaaf @aconfusedidentity @samararose21 @shondlenoodle @singhsahara @scuzmunkie @foulstarfishprincess @fenderbenderr @uraveragefangirlsposts @jikook-enthusiasts @wendyiiwl @amyniu @bipolargal

Tag list 2

@vivpurple7 @mintvender @xcharlottemikaelsonx @enchantingbrowneyedgirl @imyourapocalypse @yeotlny @thatonepotatogurl @queenofthe-bitches @rosesolitaire @nello-rie @beach-bitch-bitch-beach @blauuu-adl @chickencrimpyy @purplelady85 @blglmgk01 @nochujeonjk @kevinssecretplace4546 @growlingyu @gimmythatjib00ty @missseoulite @ngcxjnny @silscintilla @miyochan @skyys-universe @aqueenieme @ryuyalana @galaxyflab @vishakhas-world @simrxnsingh @infernal-alpaca @the-hoe-ly-one @badbyetoyou @cstobitk @jeonginsvocals @ah2002 @lindsayjoy444 @sluthug @zhangyixingxing1 @moments-of-melancholy @stvvcks @dreamingofonceuponatime

Tag list 3

@imascreamerbabymakemeamute @vintageroses10 @elephants-bubbles-brachosauruses @woopetals @cinnamonlattae @untamedgrape @peachmelodii @tfkp0p @jisusnunjoon​ @cherry-suna @rosietae​ @clumsilyclueless @mamemimoimoi​ @fangirl125reader​ @iceyrian​ @historicalgigi @je-suis-une-criminal @thefreddieman @dopepursejudgetrash @dandelionthighs @novakitten0901 @marvelovernfan @tinyoonsblog @maknaeronix

[stetervault]

Hiii! Been delving into Steter now, in the year of our lord 2021, even though I never really did when I was active in the fandom years ago and I was wondering if you'd have some longfic recs for the ship? Like, fics that are Classics(TM)? But happy endings! And I'm not super into those in which Stiles is still underage 😬 do u have any recs? Thanks!

Welcome to the Steter fandom! I definitely have some long fics to rec, some of them are super old lol, and I'll stick to ones around 20k or over, and most of them are finished. And hmm, considering the ship, and a lot of fics like to start off in season 1 where Stiles is still technically a teenager, I'll try to limit these to ones with Stiles being at least 16/17 before anything starts happening, and only 18+ if there's explicit content. I hope that's okay.

drowning in the sea of you by Corpium

Beacon Hills was perfect for Stiles growing up, but now, with werewolves, hunters, and an anxious best friend running around, it's turning into a place too chaotic for an empath like Stiles to handle alone. And pain killers can only go so far.

Wake Me Up by ToAStranger

Stiles has been in a coma for six years. Now he's awake.

Tremors by Corpium

(Stiles has a taste for him now. All Peter needs to do is wait.)

Surviving Peter and the Zombie Apocalypse by Nopennamesleft

Its the end of the world and Stiles has run out of luck. He saves a werewolf from certain death. Will they begin to rely on each other to survive or will the wolf just eat Stiles for a midnight snack?

Bite Down by EclipseWing

In which Stiles is forced to survive the zombie apocalypse with a sociopathic murdering werewolf for company.

as you are by veterization

Stiles runs straight into a tree and suddenly, things are... different. Namely, he's in a world where Peter Hale is his boyfriend.

Call My Name by KouriArashi

After moving to Beacon Hills, Stiles starts having recurring dreams of a man in some kind of prison, who needs his help. Things get so bad that he ends up in Eichen House, where he finds out that the man is real.

Devil of Mercy by KouriArashi

Peter's heard people talk about what it felt like when they saw their mate for the first time, from those who actually believe in the mystical bullshit. Like a magnet, like gravity. Peter just feels... sharply curious.

Whiskey is My Kind of Lullaby by taylorpotato

Peter is a simple saloon owner on one of the outer planets between the Aaru Belt and the Olympus Galaxy. He’s done with trouble. Done with adventure. So fucking done with rustlers. That is, until a cute young outlaw named Stiles wanders into his bar. Peter has this problem where he can’t seem to resist charming narcissists (perhaps because they remind him of himself). And when said narcissists turn his life upside-down, the worst part is he’s not even that upset about it.

Proposing To Strangers by moonstalker24

At the end of a strained relationship, crime novelist Stiles chooses to hide from the world inside a bar with far too many motorcycles outside it for comfort. Here he'll meet the man of his dreams, eat food and propose marriage, all within the first five minutes.

Peter doesn't know who this kid is, but he's cute and looks like he could use a break. So he feeds him. He's not expecting a marriage proposal, but with what comes after, he doesn't really mind.

Stiles Stilinski, Disaster Chef by Guede

The zombie apocalypse forces Stiles to learn how to cook.

The Will by Guede

We are gathered here today for the reading of Gerard Argent’s will.

On the Importance of Lunar Influences in Gardening by Guede

“Oh, it’s you again,” Stiles sighs. He puts down his basket and drops the bunch of onions into it, and then dusts off his hands. “Can’t you get your own strawberries? I mean, I have it on good authority that wild strawberries? They’re a thing. They exist. They’re out there.”

“But Stiles,” says the werewolf dangling by one foot from the tree, sticky red smears around his mouth and all over his fingers. “Your berries are so juicy, so ripe. Those ones in the woods are mere passing indulgences compared to the royal feast you have in your garden.”

Genii loci Stiles and his father run a community garden, and it’s all good, except for the werewolf who keeps sneaking over the fence to raid Stiles’ strawberry patch (and the hunter who’s constantly hanging around his father).

Runes and all kinds of things by FeelingsDusk (WIP)

Enough is enough. Stiles is tired of being always a last choice when he always tries to do his best for his precious people, so they better get their act together or face being left behind.

OR

The things in the Argent's basement get nearly fatal, the Sheriff finds about the supernatural, Allison can have a wicked, wicked mind and Peter Hale appears to be everywhere.

Oh, and Stiles can't seem to stop breaking the laws of physics with his magic.

Sanctuary by DiscontentedWinter

The Hale Wolf Sanctuary isn’t just for wolves.

It turns out it’s for Stilinskis as well.

Out Of The East, Never See The Sun Rise by neglectedtuesday

In the beginning, there are three absolutes.

One. Stiles is a god, forged of starlight and collapsing galaxies and he is eternal.

Two. Peter is human, fragile bone and viscous blood and he is temporary.

Three. Stiles and Peter are in love; love that claws its way inside one’s heart like fish hooks; all encompassing love that is beautiful but dangerous.

Stiles is a god. Peter is human. They love each other.

Three absolutes.

You Had Me at Canapes by LadyArinn

Stiles doesn't mean to sneak into the Hale wedding, and he certainly doesn't mean to have cliche coat-room sex with the bride's uncle, but what had happened, happened, and it wasn't like he could just leave. At least, not until he got to have some of that cake.

Infinite Space by DiscontentedWinter

Stiles needs Peter's expertise to help stop the latest threat to Beacon Hills. And, as the pack falls apart around him, he might even need Peter for more than that.

Hook, Yarn, Sinker by pprfaith

Stiles is happy with his store, his hobbies, his friends. Peter's just trying to figure out how to raise his nieces and nephew without fucking them up too badly.

Paths cross.

Open Wounds by Guede

Talia got out of the fire with Peter, but everyone else died. Years later, they’re still struggling with injuries, but they’ve at least settled in with oddball werewolf Stiles. And then other werewolves start showing up. Familiar ones.

Bittersweet Creek by Guede

When Stiles finally steps off the westward trail to California, he’s the last of his pack. He starts building a den, but then he finds a dying man next to a burnt-down house and it turns out he’s not really much of a settler, after all.

For Great Justice! by Green

Stiles is a vengeance demon, drawn to Peter just as he's waking from his catatonia.

"Whoever did this? We will make those fuckers suffer. I promise you."

Bone Deep by ShippersList

A body in the woods, a mate, and a long-awaited revenge.

Peter had no idea how his life would change when he followed the strange pull in his chest.

Love What is Behind You by KouriArashi

Basically what it says on the label. Hunger Games type fusion. Stiles doing way better than anyone anticipates. Peter finds him intriguing. Ruthless, devious assholes working together to ruin bad guys, as the Steter ship is meant to be.

Soothing the Burn by Therapeutic_Steter (WIP)

Peter is burnt out and breaking down. Stiles notices and offers him solace, along with the one thing he wants most: Pack.

Til Death by Bunnywest

“How long do we have to find him someone?” Stiles asks. “Two weeks,” says Derek, eyebrows pulling down even further. The fierceness of his expression tells Stiles just how concerned he is. “He marries, or he goes to the camps. And you know what your father told us,” Scott reminds her. The camps……aren’t camps. Peter either finds a wife, or he dies.

Ink Blossoms by Triangulum

"So, you're going to ruin your niece's baby shower with flowers in the wrong color?" the florist, Stiles, asks when they reach the counter. He pulls out a binder and starts flipping through it.

"Not ruin. Mildly inconvenience," Peter says.

"Right, messing with a hormonal pregnant woman seems like a great plan."

"To be fair, her fiance and the father of her baby is my ex-boyfriend," Peter says. "And we weren't broken up when they started 'dating'."

Stiles looks up at him in surprise. "And you're still getting her flowers?" he asks.

"It's under duress, I assure you," Peter says. He absolutely wouldn't be here if his alpha hadn't ordered it.

"Well, shit, yeah, let's get you some purple revenge flowers," Stiles says.

After You by FlyAwayMeow (rjaejoo)

It’s true that sometimes what you want the most, you can’t have and that you’ll miss what you once had all along when it’s finally gone.

After breaking his engagement to Chris, Peter heads to New York to start over. He meets Stiles, a young author at his publishing house who helps him piece his confidence back together. When tragedy strikes, he discovers how to finally let go of his past and have the family and future he's always wanted with the pieces already in his life.

love me lights out by veterization

Stiles and Peter get snowed in together. (Or: what happens when you accept phone calls from people you haven't spoken to in over five years.)

Uncle Peter Doesn't Date by Mellow (SweetCandy) (WIP)

“Oh don’t lie, you love it.” Peter purred and winked at his newest arm candy, who spluttered for a few seconds, before blushing like a 16 year old virgin. Considering how young he looked Laura wouldn’t be surprised if he was actually 16. “Shut up Peter!” Bambi squeaked, still flushing and averting Laura’s eyes. “Well, anyways, I’m,” ‘Bambi’. “Stiles. Stiles Stilinski, pleasure to meet you- again.” Stiles smiled sheepishly, obviously nervous. Stiles Stilinski. Definitely a stripper then.

-

Or: Laura was prepared for whatever piece of armcandy her uncle had decided to show up with, what she hadn't been prepared for was Stiles Stilinski...her uncle's boyfriend.

Under the Songbird’s Wing by mia6363

Captivity easily destroys the will of escape. It can break the fiercest of animal. It can strip the most regal man and woman down to nothing but animal needs.

Captivity can, if met with unwavering determination, shape a person into something unimaginable.

Stiles is sixteen when he's captured. Stiles's first thought is, "I won't die here."

Baby Whisperer by twothumbsandnostakeincanon (somanyofthekids)

“What. Is that.”

Scott looked up at him, apprehensive.

“Her name’s Lily.”

Stiles stared at the fuzzy head peeking out of the papoose.

“Her. Her name. That is a real live human baby. Oh my God-”

“Actually I don’t know if she’s human?” Scott said with a confused frown. “Becca didn’t say.”

“Who the fuck is Becca?!”

Sacrificial Lamb by Bunnywest

The Alpha has a scruffy beard, unkempt hair and dazzling blue eyes. The scar on his face is raised, running down his cheek like a twisting, gnarled rope. Stiles knows that it came from the blade of Kate Argent herself, and that the Alpha got it fighting in the battle where Kate killed his lover, cutting his head clean from his neck, if the stories are to be believed.

The Alpha lets Stiles look his fill, before indicating that Stiles should take the other couch, and Stiles does so, his father’s words echoing in his ears. He can do this, can be pleasant and amenable. The lives of his people may depend on it. The Alpha spends long moments surveying him, before saying, “I like you, Stiles.”

You don’t know me, Stiles wants to blurt out, but he bites his tongue.

The Various Triumphs of Mischief Bilinski by Whispering_Sumire (WIP)

"Hello, Chris," sings a honeyed voice from behind.

Chris' attention snaps toward the intruder, his gun already out of its' holster and aimed at whoever it is — a boy, apparently, with braided russet hair, a red jacket, and wise eyes. He's wearing a gas mask, but Chris can tell by the way his eyes crinkle around the edges, the way sun-burnt sand swirls in his irises, that he's smiling.

Chris cocks his gun.

"You killed my father," he says.

"No offence, but he totally deserved it," the stranger agrees with cheerful solemnity.

"What the hell are you doing in my home?" Chris demands. The kid is perched on a windowsill in Chris' office, as nonchalantly as if this were something he did every day, as if they were familiar.

"I was just wondering," the kid speaks softly, fond amusement sewn through with a peculiar resignation, "how you'd feel about putting down some nazis?"

[Or: The one where Stiles goes back in time and subsequently fucks with everything.]

A Curious Magic by Triangulum

Overall, Stiles is very well-known in the supernatural community. It’d be hard not to be, not with how his reputation has grown like wildfire. He knows and is on good terms with nearly all the fae that reside in the preserve, the asrai that live deep in the lake, the Ito pack, the vampire couple that lives over in Beacon Valley (they buy an ethically-sourced food supply from Stiles), as well as almost every other supernatural entity in the area. But Talia Hale doesn’t like him, and a werewolf pack tends to do what their alpha tells them to.

So it’s a definite surprise when the wards at the edge of his property trip, the tingling down his spine telling him it’s a werewolf, the lack of burning sensation letting him know there’s no hostile intent. Stiles, in his office in the second floor turret, sets down the amulet he’s packing up for Marin and moves to the large window overlooking the front of his property. He’s expecting to see an Ito packmember, even though they nearly always call in advance, and is surprised to see a man that he recognizes as Talia’s brother, Peter.

Light in the Dark by cywscross

It still surprises Stiles sometimes, how easily he’s adapted. Seven months in a world filled with train tracks and soul-sucking fae, and it feels like he’s never known anything else.

~~

Or, the one where diverting the Ghost Riders from Beacon Hills to prey on a different town only succeeded in setting them free.

Vengeance Looks Good On You, Sweetheart by cywscross

Just because Scott refuses to see the Argents for what they truly are - prejudiced serial killers sitting proudly on a mountain of innocent corpses - doesn't mean Stiles will. It's about time someone did something about the Argent Empire anyway, and what a coincidence - summer vacation is just around the corner.

--

Or, the one where Gerard Argent kidnapped the wrong fucking person to torture. Stiles has never subscribed to the policy of forgiving and forgetting anyway, not when razing the problem to the ground and salting the earth for good measure has always been a far better solution in the long run.

He doesn't expect to have company.

[juliewatt]

When did she ever get to say no (FATWS)

The apartment was dimly lit as she woke up from her nightmare, her past still haunting her even though it had been years ago, she still remembered it as if it was yesterday.

Her body shook from the previous event and sweat covered her body, the bodies, the blood it all still stood clear in her mind as she tried to take steady breaths to calm herself down. Once her body stopped shaking she stood up from the hard floor she called a bed, she didn’t remember having anything that was softer than the floor, she had tried a bed but after an hour she had laid down on the floor finding it more comfortable than the way too soft bed.

She walked to the shower to get the sweat off her and to collect herself more, a shower usually helped calm her body and mind after the nightmares.

After she was done she walked in her living room that was connected to the kitchen, it was a small apartment that had all the necessary stuff she needed, not too big but not too small either.

The city outside her window was alive and the sound of cars driving and people buzzing around put her on edge, she was used to silence, grey monotone walls and only being talked to whenever she was getting an order or in special occasions asked a question.

This world was new to her, she had been out for years but she still feeled uneasy navigating around in the outside world, so she for the most part stayed inside her little apartment watching the news on her television to see what happened outside without actually being there.

The knock on her door made her jump slightly but she quickly composed herself and walked slowly over to her door grabbing a knife on the kitchen counter in case she needed it. She could properly do the same damage without the knife but liked to have it with her for an extra precaution.

There was another knock on her door while she neared it and a voice from the other side “Y/n i-we need your help can you open the door?” She furrowed her eyebrows, the voice sounded familiar but she couldn’t pinpoint it and she didn’t really know or talked to anyone so she was confused to say the least.

She got to the door and peeked through the loophole in the door to get a look of who was outside the door, she stumbled away from the door when she saw who was outside it, it was a face she would recognise anywhere even after all these years and even with the haircut he had gotten. When she had stumbled back she must have made some sort of noise cause the voice outside spoke again “Y/n you alright? Can you open the door?” But she barely heard it, fear cruising through her, she backed farther away from the door she was promised safety when she got free and yet here he was standing in front of her door the man that had dragged back the last time she tried to escape, the winter soldier. Was he here to take her back? No it couldn’t, he never returned from that mission years ago she remembered that clearly, she had heard the guards talk about how they had lost him.

She got back to her senses and grabbed her knife tightly in her hand, took a deep breath and silently walked over to the door, unlocked it and stood back in the shadows, she knew she had no chance of overpowering him he was too strong so she would need to surprise him if she wanted any chance of success.

“I’m going to open the door alright? I just wanna talk” He said while turning the doorknob, she didn’t believe him, how could she the last time he had dragged her back, but she remained silent.

When he had walked in and closed the door behind him, she attacked but he was faster than her and dodged the knife that came for his head, he dodged each attack from her trying to get a hold of her without hurting her or himself in the proces.

She tried her best but in the end he ended up having her in a chokehold against his chest, the knife thrown away she tried to get free but little did it help, he was stronger than her like he always had been. “My name is James Buchanan Barnes and I'm no longer the winter soldier, so please stop. I'm not here to hurt you i just wanna talk” He said while she still tried to get free not believing him. “Lies all they do is lie” she said while she gave him an elbow in the stomach making him release her, she quickly grabbed her knife while he still was doubled over, when he stood again she pointed the knife at his throat glaring at him. For the first time Bucky got a good look at her, she had gotten older since he last had seen, of course she would look older. She had been around 16 when he last had seen her, a child who now had grown to look more like a young woman. “What do you want?” She asked, fear was lingering in her eyes, the knife slightly trembling in her hands she tried her hardest not to but the man in front of her made it hard not to. “I want your help” He started off slowly eyeing her every movement, he could easily overpower her, but he didn’t want to scare her more than he already had done. “I need your help with tracking a few people down, they have created the super soldier serum and i want to stop them, you’re one of the only ones i know that might want to help” He said, she stood staring at him not quite understanding it, he wanted her help?

She slowly lowered the knife and he took a deep breath. Maybe she would actually help him and Sam, he hoped for it but knew that there still might be a long way before she actually said yes to go with them.

“I don’t understand?” She said quietly, still confused with everything, “ you, me and a friend of mine Sam are going to find the people that made the super soldier serum, before it ends up in the wrong hands.” Bucky explained, she knew what he meant by the wrong hands, she had seen the other winter soldiers when they were created and got uncontrollable, no she definitely didn’t want that to happen again. “What do you need my help with?” She asked, still watching him and his every move, in case he should turn against her and try to attack her. “I know you’re a great fighter, we could use that. And you’re probably sick of spending all this time in your apartment.” He was right she was, but what else could she do? She didn’t know anything or anyone outside her apartment, her own mind didn’t allow her to, what if it was them trying to capture her again? She couldn’t risk that not now, not when she was finally free but if she was with James and his so called friend Sam they could protect her right? Make sure she was kept hidden and not thrown back into a cell again.

She relaxed a bit in her body and gave James a small nod, “alright James, where are we going?”

James’s friend Sam was a funny guy, he had seemed a bit distant at first and asked her a bunch of questions, but now he seemed more relaxed and trusted her a bit more than before, it made her relax a bit more towards the stranger.

She currently sat on the backseat of a car as they drove through a city in Germany, on their way to a prison where they were going to talk to a guy called Zemo. She didn’t ask many questions as they drove, she had learned the hard way in her life not to ask questions. “Wait kid, how old are you?” Asked Sam from the driver seat looking at her through the rear mirror, she took a moment to answer she needed to think she had been in cryo a few times, so her actual age didn’t add up with her appearance.

“I think i'm around 22 but i’m not quite sure” she said not quite sure with her answer, Sam took a double take at her in the mirror, “you don’t look like a 22 year old?” he said questionly “I have been on ice a couple of times.” She said quietly, not wanting to talk about her past, Sam got the hint and gave her a nod and a reassuring smile, she returned to look out her window for the rest of the trip.

She found her walking along the two other men in a garage of some sort, she walked behind them not paying much attention to their conversation, but when she suddenly heard shuffling from the other side of the room it immediately grabbed her attention.

A man walked out wearing a guard uniform, “What did you do!?” Sam's voice rang out glaring at James, “we need him!” He stated, Sam ignored him and turned his attention back to the stranger, “you’re going back to prison” “if i may-” The stranger was cut off from both of the other men “No!” She didn’t know who the man was so she couldn’t voice an opinion if she had one, but since it was pretty clear that the two other men didn’t like the stranger she decided she was going to be careful around him.

After everyone had calmed down a bit the stranger began to walk through the garage and explain the plan, not much into detail just what they needed to know for now.

Walking on to the private plane, she felt a bit more uneasy than she had before she had no idea where they were going with this stranger that apparently had a lot of money. She sat beside James across from the stranger where she watched his every move, not wanting anything to come as a surprise for her if went to pull any trick on them. The stranger talked briefly with his butler in a language she didn’t understand, she did notice a strange notebook lying within his other book that he had brought, she flinched when James launched at him, grabbing his throat. Memories came crashing within her and her heartbeat quicked up faster than she liked, flashes of her own hands on people's throats while they begged for mercy ran across her eyes, she closed them and shook her head a few times making them disappear.

“I’ve seen that book. It was Steve’s when he came out of the ice. I told him about Trouble Man. He wrote it in that book.” Sam said from his seat, she furrowed her eyebrows, who was Steve and why did James have his notebook? Sam and the stranger began to talk about how cool Marvin Gaye was, while James claimed he was more into 40’s music. The stranger began to talk more about the Steve guy and someone named Redskull, she didn’t know who it was so she zoned a bit out of the conversation.

“I’m sorry i don’t think i introduced myself. I’m Baron Zemo” The stranger said making eye contact with her, having a mischief glint in his eyes she nodded at him “y/n” she said plainly not wanting to give out information to the man in front of her. “Ahh Y/n or Plan B as you’re called in your files. I've read about you and your time with hydra, a shame you weren’t with the other soldiers in Siberia when I killed them. “ He said, her blood ran cold with the name of the organization that had held her captured and messed up her mind this much. “ I am not like them” she said, fixing her gaze on him, “are you sure about that? With all the lives you have taken, what makes you more different than them?” He pressed clearly wanting a reaction from her, wanting to see if she was as cruel and cold blooded as described in her files.

She merely glared at him “I’m nothing like them, they liked what they did and did it with freewill and no hesitation. I didn’t, when I got old enough to see what they were doing was wrong, I tried to escape several times but I always got brought back. Each time I got beat up more than the last time, whipped so I wouldn't fight them, programmed my mind so they could control me, so that I wouldn't escape all the time. I tried to get out, I really did, the last time I tried they sent him after me” She said nodding her head to James, continuing to tell her story. “I fought with everything i had learned but he was stronger than me, he dragged me back there, i guess they got tired of me escaping all the time, so they programmed my mind like i had seen they did to him, then put me on ice so they were sure i didn’t tried to run again. It was only when he didn’t get back from a mission i got brought back out again, they made sure they whipped me regularly so i didn’t get a change to return to myself again” She told all three men as they stared at her, Sam and James had sad looking expressions, while Zemo had a glint of fazination on his. “I’m sorry to hear about that. But I can’t help but wonder if your trigger words are the same as his?” Zemo asked and gestured to James beside her, she squinted her eyes at the man in front of her. “I don’t know” she said slowly while looking down thinking, trying to recall anything that might help her, a little smirk made a way onto Zemo’s lips and before anyone had a chance of stopping him the russian word came flowing “Желание” Longing. Her eyes snapped up at him in an instant, her mind betraying her in an instant, it was as if black dots started to fill her mind. But with only one of the words spoken they only covered parts of her mind, she remembered the feeling immediately, her heartbeat quickened up, fear of losing control of herself came crashing upon her. “Shut up” She spat at the man in front of her already halfway lashing herself out of her seat towards him, but James was quick and grabbed her before she had made her way over the table to do what she wanted to do to Zemo.

“Stop that right now! Do you think this is funny?!” James pointed at Zemo, anger radiating off him, the baron merely smiled “ I wanted to test a theory, it seemed like I was correct.” He brushed it off, seeming unbothered by the glaring and heavy breathing girl sitting in front him, he only told where they would be going and what the plan was, but she didn’t hear much of it too distracted in her own mind doing her best to shake away the uncomfortable feeling in her head. She snapped back when she heard her name being said “you James and Y/n will have to become someone you claim as gone.” She knew what that meant she didn’t like it, not after what just had happened, but she couldn’t back out now, she heard James taking a deep breath beside her he clearly didn’t like either.

They were used to doing things they didn’t like to do, only this time they could say no, but when did they ever get to say no.

There will most likely be a part 2

- Julie

[hermannsthumb]

you should totally do something with ksci janitor’s vamp newt it’s so just so good

i sure will! in a vampire mood this weekend. @k-sci-janitor's vampire newt found here. warnings for quick mention of drinking, allusions to sexy stuff, and also the different kind of drinking you'd expect from a vampire fic (tho on the vague side)

-------------------

The circumstances that led Newt down the unwitting path of immortality and general un-dead-ness are, in hindsight, honestly kind of embarrassing. It'd be one thing if he could say it happened in the pursuit of, like, knowledge, like the fierce jellyfish sting scar on his wrist leftover from a research expedition when he was twenty-two or the equally fierce one on his knee received in response to his question (at the age of five) of what would happen if I jumped out of this very tall tree?, or even something unrelated to his extensive biology career, something impressive, y'know, Van Helsing style, something like tracking down some vampire king and barely escaping with his life (un-life?)—not what really happened, which was little more than a bad date. And not even the worst date that Newt's been on, if you can believe it.

Newt was young and stupid then. He still is young and stupid, technically, though the former by appearance only. (Eternally pushing thirty. If he could've picked, he would've done twenty-eight, just before his handful of grey hairs started cropping up. Newt's had almost forty-five years of staring in the mirror at those four fucking grey hairs. He gave up dyeing them around the nineties. Not worth it. Still annoying.) He liked to do what young and stupid people did, like get stupid tattoos, and have a stupid haircut, and get drunk at stupid punk shows and not stumble home until he'd had at least one regrettable hook-up with a stranger and maybe lost his wallet. (The two were often related.) That particular thing was what did him in that night. It was a different time back then, man—if a dude showed even the slightest inkling that he ran in Newt's sort of circle, if you caught his drift, Newt fucking jumped at the chance.

(The band was on their second set of the evening and Newt had already screamed himself hoarse with singing along. He'd ducked outside in a back alleyway for only a second to get some fresh air, the club suddenly too hot and smokey for him to handle, and was just about to go back inside and close out his tab for the night when he realized he wasn't alone. There was someone—he was sure—lurking in the shadows a few feet away. He could hear breathing. He could see—eyes, maybe, in the dim neon light of the bar sign overhead. "Hello?" he'd called.

"Have a light?" the person called back.

They emerged from the shadows, and Newt felt himself relax at once. It was some spooky-looking guy he remembered seeing in the club, leather jacket, boots heavier than Newt's, dark hair and eyeliner. Tall. Newt remembered him, firstly, because he thought he was hot, and secondly, because he swore he caught the guy staring at him at least three times, and to Newt, that was as good as any pick-up line. He was wagging an unlit cigarette at Newt now. He was taller than Newt thought he was back in the bar—much taller, at least a full head on Newt. His eyes were a golden-brown, almost yellow, like a cat's, and Newt found himself unable to tear his own away from them. "L—light?" Newt echoed.

The guy stuck the cigarette in his mouth and arched a perfect eyebrow. Newt didn't smoke, but he did keep a lighter on him for occasions like this. He fumbled through his pockets for it while the guy stepped closer. "I was watching you," he told Newt, while Newt raised the lighter to the cigarette, "in there."

The flame danced and glinted against his eyes. Newt swallowed. "Uh-huh?" he said.

He flicked the lighter shut, leaving them both bathed in nothing but pink neon. A hand slid up against the wall next to Newt's right shoulder. Another plucked at the left lapel of his jacket. Newt was still staring at those eyes. "What's your name?" the guy said, in a puff of cigarette smoke.

"Um." Newt's leather jacket was being pushed off his shoulders. He felt his long hair being tucked to the side of his neck. All at once something seemed in snap in Newt—some reminder of where he was, and what he came here hoping for in the first place. Some hot dude was eyeing Newt up all night long, and now he was actually coming onto Newt, and Newt was about to get laid. He grinned. "Newt," he said. "Just call me that. You were watching me, huh?"

"All night," the guy said.

Newt's jacket hit the ground with a soft thump. A knee was being pushed between his. Newt felt his cheeks heat up a little—he wasn't used to people being this forward with him, and especially not in a semi-public place like this. Usually they at least made a show of offering up their apartment first. "What, um, what for?" he said.

They were kissing. Newt was clinging to the back of his jacket. And then he was kissing Newt's neck, and then he was—

"That kinda hurts," Newt mumbled. "Um, dude, I think your—your fuckin', tongue piercing cut me, or something. It's—"

It was hard to keep his eyes open. His neck felt weird. The guy was into biting, apparently, biting really hard, and yikes, that was going to leave a super embarrassing hickey that Newt would have to explain to his students somehow on Monday, but it also felt really good, like, Newt was maybe getting off kinda good, and Newt thought, dizzily, that he should at least return the favor before he finished up and collapsed in a happy heap on the ground. So he did.

The guy pulled back with a hiss. "Ow. What—?"

Newt tasted something coppery in his mouth, and he panicked and swallowed on instinct. "Oh, shit, dude, I'm sorry," he slurred. His voice sounded like it was a million miles away. "I was trying to be—sexy. Um." There was blood on the guy's chin. He was staring at Newt in something akin to horror. Dark circles were spotting Newt's vision. "I think you cut your lip," he said, and then he passed out.

Newt was alone when he woke up. It was still dark, too. He walked the two miles home, collapsing in bed, fully-clothed, just before dawn, and he didn't wake up again until sunset. He forgot his jacket, but at least he remembered his wallet this time.)

So, anyway, Newt thinks he can be forgiven if he...embellishes stuff a little when, for the first time in his whole long life, he finally spills the details to someone. Also, no way is he admitting the truth to Hermann of all people.

"There were a bunch of murders in the area at the time," he says, while Hermann, angled on his side next to him in bed, watches him raptly. It's kind of weird pillow talk, but their pillow talk rarely isn't weird. Usually Hermann will launch into a critique of Newt's latest pet theory before Newt's even caught his breath. At least he very courteously waited for Newt get a glass of water from the bathroom first this time. "Really brutal ones. Like, throats torn out, blood drained. Really nasty shit. Everyone was saying they were some kinda bizarre wolf pack attacks, but I knew better."

"Of course you did," Hermann says, running his hand down Newt's chest, and Newt can't tell if he's being sarcastic or not. (He has a feeling he is.)

"You bet," Newt says. "It took me months of, um, super hard research. Finally I hunted him down to this—" Newt debates the coolest lair possible of a vampire, and then remembers Lost Boys, which, even though he resents it slightly for totally stealing the vampire vibes he was going for, is still a kick-ass movie. "—this weird cave, where he lived. The king of the vampires. I won, obviously, but he fought back, and he managed to infect me just before I hammered the, um, the wooden stake into his heart."

"So courageous," Hermann says. He reaches up and tucks a piece of Newt's long hair back. Hermann being totally cool with the whole vampire thing, and maybe even possibly into the whole vampire thing, is probably the last thing in the world Newt expected from him. They're no strangers to hooking up during long late nights of science, but Newt swears it's gotten more frequent. "You must've been terrified."

"Nah," Newt says, though he remembers the glint of the flame off those yellow eyes, and he shivers. Hermann notices; his eyes, not yellow, but a warm shade of brown that makes Newt feel like he's being wrapped in a blanket, soften. If Newt could still blush, he would. "I'm—um—I'm pretty brave."

Newt hadn't exactly been planning on telling Hermann about the whole thing, but (last week) he had the very unfortunate timing of beginning a late-night dinner just as an oblivious Hermann strolled back into the lab to pick up his forgotten pair of glasses. To his credit, he only freaked out a little when he saw Newt draining a blood bag like a fucking Capri-Sun, and even then (after what felt like ten years of horrible, horrible silence) all he said was "You're the one who's been stealing those from medical?"

Look. Newt hasn't drank from a human being the entirety of his un-life, and he doesn't plan on it any time soon. He's...a vegetarian. Effectively. It's sort of the reason he picked up a medical degree along the way once he got tired of breaking into blood banks. Even if it's still a little ethically dubious to steal blood like that, at least he's not swooping around on unsuspecting people like that—goth asshole who swooped in on him did. (Newt's never managed to find out who he was—he suspects he was some sort of vampire drifter in town that night just to find a victim. And Newt just had to think with his dick at the worst possible time.)

Hermann tucks another strand of Newt's hair back. Newt also did not expect how fast Hermann became cool with the whole thing, but on the other hand, giant aliens are clawing their way out of the ocean on a bi-monthly basis these days. It's hard to be skeptical about most things. ("Well, it does make logical sense," Hermann had said with an eyeroll. "When you consider some of your rather more bizarre quirks, I mean. I ought to have guessed it ages ago. I suppose that's why you have that awful haircut," and that stung, because yeah, Newt hasn't felt like changing it up since the seventies, and why should he, it kinda rules? but he just laughed it off and said, "You're one to fucking talk, dude!") "Newton," Hermann says now, gently, "what actually happened?"

Newt sighs. Hermann always knows when he's lying about shit. "I was making out with a vampire in an alleyway and then he bit me. And—um—I kinda didn't notice at first, 'cause it felt... good."

"Mm," Hermann says. The corner of his mouth twitches up. "That's more along the lines of what I expected. That, or you were hounding him for details like a proper biologist and he got tired of answering your inane questions."

"Very funny," Newt says. "Ha."

Hermann rolls away from him and stretches his arms above his head. Newt watches his throat work as he yawns, swallowing down a sudden lump in his own, and he feels a surge of something hot and—alien—in the pit of his stomach. "Over forty years," Hermann says. He picks up Newt's discarded sweatshirt from the floor and tugs it down over his head. "You must get terrifically lonely."

Newt half-shrugs. "I guess. I'm kinda used to it by now." His dad (who never brought up how Newt's aging seemed to be at a standstill when they saw each other, not once) is long-gone. Newt's tried dating, but no one's ever seemed to be into it as much as he is—and besides, it's not like he could ever do the actual til death do us part thing unless he went against every ethical bone in his body and made someone like him. When the internet became a thing, he considered making a forum or something to find more of his kind, but the thought everyone just being like the guy who accidentally turned him in the first place terrified him and he killed the page before it even left infancy. So, without any better ideas, Newt forged some paperwork and leaned pretty hard into the world of academia to fill up his sad little hole of a heart, resigned himself to casual flings with anyone who seemed interested, and it mostly worked. Mostly. And then the kaiju came along, and then so did... "You make it a little bit better," he confesses.

Hermann lays back down next to him. "I do?" he says.

Newt thinks he sees something like that hot, hungry feeling he felt in his stomach flash behind Hermann's eyes. He nods.

Hermann suddenly kisses Newt, pulling him down on top of him, and then tugs the collar of Newt's stolen sweatshirt down below his collarbone. He drags Newt's hand up to press against his throat. Newt feels the erratic beat of Hermann's pulse beneath his fingertips, his heart pounding against his ribcage (pressed up against Newt's silent one), and he almost moans. "Have you ever...?" Hermann murmurs, gazing up at Newt through his dark eyelashes.

"N—never," Newt stammers. "I told you."

"Do you want to?" Hermann says. Newt tries not to gape. "Just a bit at a time, whenever you need. You wouldn't have to steal those silly blood bags anymore. And—" He hesitates. "I admit I am curious. About the sensation."

"Um," Newt says. "I—"

He feels something sharp poking his lower lip. Fangs. His fangs. Oh, shit, he's never had that happen before. He forces himself off of Hermann before he does something stupid.

"Maybe, um, maybe later?" he squeaks, while Hermann just smiles at him.