#i straight up lied to myself like the clown that i am and said i was gonna do a deep clean of my apartment today

[downtherabbitholewithlucy]

Starting off the New Year

Expectation Reality

[beesmygod]

ugh

despite being such a gossip and drama hound myself, i do not relish being the subject of it. you might think its because being the subject of scrutiny and attention is stressful. it’s actually because the people who keep lining up to try to shots at me wind up being the dumbest people alive who knock themselves out somehow. i think its important to get in front of “a narrative”, especially in this case, where every player is a lying liar who lies ahahaha. this one is way funnier than morbi actually. up until now, i was tactfully setting aside what happened out of uh. whatever kindness was left in my heart, i guess. more fool me!

im not going out of my way to crop ppl out of this if you look bad its your own damn fault. no one made you type this shit but you. dont post shit you can’t cash.

you might have been confused by the exchange between anon and this guy yesterday when i reblogged it to set the record straight on morbi. i was, until very recently, an infrequent contributor to his webcomics discord. earlier this year, i tried to reach out into more communities so i could get to know more artists and keep up with what’s hot (what a stupid fucking idea that was, in hindsight). a few days ago, some weirdly supportive of kiwifarms tweets from a comic artist who was ruined by them were posted for discussion. everyone pretty much just noted that it was weird with one person asking what kf even was. everyone else explained so i added this stupid shit

note: this is at 5:24 am. because at 7pm that night, one of the people in the discord goes completely full fucking tilt out of literally nowhere. i have screencapped the entire conversation up until that point as proof that i 1. literally did not say anything else the entire day and 2. proof that the conversation was completely normal up until that point.

inexplicably, people in the server put on kids gloves and start trying to come to a middle ground with this dipshit like hmm yes maybe we are a little kiwifarms could you explain more so we can understand you. when i noticed an hour later i saw red.

for someone who was “not helping”, the attention-seeking hysteric suddenly evaporated into thin air. i dont think anyone has actually shamed them for their behavior before. the conversation was shut down rather than resolved because i raised the temperature. daniel invited me to speak to him more privately in his dm if i had any more concerns bc i was pissed it was being swept under the rug. so i did.

here is the conversation in full. im posting it bc it makes him look like a clown and because later, he characterizes this as “chasing him” into his dms. what i didnt realize until today is that he says that the person going nuts is a moderator’s sibling, which explains why they’re permitted to take huge shits on people with no repercussions.

having committed the worst crime you can do in a nerd group (be mean) i was subjected to a post-mortem about the event (?) which culminated with this unbelievable irony cap

after my 10 mins were up, i said “i am not a good cultural fit or share the same moral priorities as this server and i will show myself out” and left. i vented on my twitter with blistering posts basically saying “well they’re all young. its annoying and seems bad but what can i do but leave”. and left it there.

it seems insanely obvious to me, so obvious that i struggled to even have to explain it to people whose entire brain appeared to have leaked out of their skull, that allowing someone in your discord for artists accuse random artists of wanting to reboot the mass shooting and violent transphobia website is literally the worst possible behavior you could permit. i wasnt expecting the mods to leap into action and do something, as they seemed to desperately think. i wanted to not belong to a community that would tolerate or entertain this.

anyway, yesterday morbi happened. i reblogged that post and daniel, after being told he wasnt a problem, decided he absolutely had to be one right now. he followed me on twitter and began posting ominously about a “write-up” of what happened between morbi and i because “some people” (this could literally only be the discord chat, and the reason he didnt want to post it there so they could snicker at it to themselves was because he thought this would humiliate or scare me) were curious.

maybe you’ve noticed a little flaw in the logic both morbi and dan have when it comes to “doxing”: for two people who are very concerned about privacy they’re out here retweeting the very information they’re decrying as invasive and then dan goes and fucking googles her and posts on a public platform more information about her than i cared to know. i cant stop thinking about how these morons were completely convinced they were doing something noble and righteous here by standing up for someone that maybe might be a black woman (hence: racism) based entirely on like a pintrest account

the cloying, transparent attempts to seduce me into messaging him first to soothe his battered ego are so desperate and pathetic that they make you hurt from the sidelines. you can see me gently try to explain why they look like a complete lunatic clutching their pearls over unmasking anonymous hate before i give up. there was so much obviously wrong about what they were doing that i was in disbelief that they were telling me that they were doing it.

1. taking a “both sides” approach doesn’t work when one person is a serial sexual harasser and the other posted an email address attached to a near cry-typing comment.

2. the attempt to use black women as a cudgel to defeat his posting enemy.

3. whatever this. attempt at banter is. idk man.

all of this didn’t work, so he tried showing me a piece of what he was writing that was the most deliberately inflammatory in the hopes that this morsel would finally compel me to bite and come begging for a re-write to save my webcomic career.

i wasn’t posting in a way that was drawing attention to this, it was a nosy (positive) friend who noticed this happening and went “holy shit what the fuck are you doing” which caused him to backpedal furiously

i was planning on letting him post it and just letting it speak for itself. i cannot think of a more ruinous thing to do to yourself than to ally with a sexual harasser and post openly and transparently about how extremely mad you are about how a girl made you feel. what could have possibly gone wrong.

in the end, daniel signed off with this post, signaling a more positive future for himself and his comic since his plan to annoy someone with a reputation for being a huge bitch multiple times by trying to downplay the severity of his and his friend’s actions, somehow blew up in his face

ah wait hold on. im getting word that he posted this after deleting a different post. this one

if there were any doubt what this were all about, daniel went and tweeted it out (literally) because subtext is difficult. my demand for a public apology for being accused baselessly of a career ending lie in order to stop this behavior from ever happening again has been recontextualized in his head as mean old bea picking on him and forcing him to do terrible things like “moderate” as a moderator.

over the past week ive been subject to racists, sex pests and 0/10 trolls but the spineless, moral coward is the most egregiously memorable of the lot. despite the amount of leeway i gave him for his repeated weak-willed behavior, he always found a new way to own himself without external prompting. despite me walking away and being satisfied with that, he came back for more. there are some people you cannot help, there are some people i don’t want to help because they cannot stop putting their hands on hot stoves. and then there are people who are begging for it.

somehow, it will be my fault that he feels bad and embarrassed about his behavior because i have catalogued it after being pushed around enough and it will not be seen as a direct result of his repeated failure of conscience.

anyway lol, lmao

[prisonprocess]

Tim Goes to Prison

38.

The guys in jail were mostly chill young dudes.  It was fun to listen to what they said.  They talked a lot about sports and their old ladies, which wasn’t something I was interested in, but I was definitely interested when they talked about their crimes. They always said that their charges were “just a lotta bullshit, man,” but they liked talking about how they broke the law and how not to get caught and so on.  So I learned a lot.  I even learned how to smoke, cuz they were all smugglin stuff into the jail, including smokes, and showing me how to have a bat without gettin caught.  I paid for my bats with the cash I earned from playing cards, cuz I’m so good at games, and there’s always a game in jail.  The trick was not to win too much, but I could do that.  Let the wookiee win, lol!  And hide the cash, but everybody knew how to do that.

So this was the first time that I, like, really learned stuff.  Too bad I couldn’t learn about sex, but these dudes were all probly straight.  Anyways, they didn’t stay in jail long enough for me to find out.  Soon as I got to know them, they got out on bail or their sentence ended or they copped a plea for time served or whatever.   Pretty soon I’d been in there longer than almost anybody else.  But I was still enjoying myself.  I had my bunk and my orange clothes and my three meals a day.  The other dudes complained about the chow, but it was better than my mom ever cooked!  And I never had to see her!

You may be wondering about why I was the guy that was still in jail.  For one thing, my dad was refusing to bail me out, which, thank God for tough love!  For another thing, he did pay for this lame “attorney.” Every week or so I’d go to the Visiting Room and lean into my little hootch and talk to him through the little window, and he was this young guy in a suit and he was always looking back at me like, I hate being here but I really love lookin at you in that orange clown suit, DUDE.  And he’d tell me he’d filed another motion or whatever, which was cool with me cuz it was keepin me in jail week after week without even a trial or anything.  But then! one day he was, like, bragging about his “strategy,” and how his “strategy” was to, like, delay my case as long as he could, “till the media attention goes away and they’ll go easy on you because they all forgot what happened and they don’t know enough to even google it and then you’ll be getting out with a slap on the wrist.”  That’s when I finally realized, like what! This dude wants to keep me OUTTA prison!

So I got mad and I lied and I told him I was goin crazy from all the wait and so on and I just wanted to get it all over with, and he said, “If that’s how you feel, then maybe you don’t want me as your attorney.”  So then I knew he wanted to get rid of me, and why not?  I knew he hated me to begin with.  So I got all crying and blubbering and so on, and pressing my hands up against the glass like please help me, and I told him I don’t want a delay and I don’t want a plea deal, I just want to confess how, like, nasty and evil I am and then take my punishment, and I’d be ashamed to go home and see my dad again, and it was time for me to sign whatever and go to court and get my ass sentenced and put away.  I didn’t say “ass,” cuz I was pretending to be real serious and cry.

So in a few days I got to sign a statement and some other stuff, and a week after that I went to court and I did my best to act like a jerk in front of the judge, and it worked, because I got sentenced to 30 years to life.

[kpopscenario]

A day on the beach

Pairing: Vernon x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 1.8k

Summary: You finally managed to organize the much needed day trip to the beach with your boyfriend - and some other friends who would cause some mixed feelings in Vernon.

A/N: Mentions of jealousy

A sigh of relief escaped my lips as I looked out of the window and finally saw the beach. The weather was just right- not too cold, not too hot. Just perfect not to freeze in only a bikini but also not to sweat like a pig under the sun. I was sitting on the passenger’s seat, next to my boyfriend Vernon, who always wore a content little smile on his face while concentrating on the road. 

“If it takes us ten more minutes to arrive-”

“If you complain one more time, I’m gonna yeet you out of the car”, Chan groaned towards Soonyoung who was now pouting like the immature adult he was. Vernon just took a turn left and then already could drive onto the parking area. 

“Look outside, we’re already here, relax”, the male next to me said in his calm voice. 

Minutes later, we were ready to wander to the actual beach, with all our bags and umbrellas. It was actually hilarious how we kinda looked like we were going on a week trip with everything they insisted on taking with us. As we finally decided a spot that wasn’t in a crowded area, Chan took the towels out, I arranged the umbrellas, Vernon got himself something to drink and Soonyoung immediately got rid of his shirt. That man had been whining during the whole ride about how badly he missed the sea and being able to just lay down on the sand or play beach volleyball. It was cute how excited the pink-haired male was and it didn’t take him more than a minute to run into the waves, making us laugh. He clumsily tripped one meter inside the water- falling face first. Chan only shook his head, half ashamed for his friend, but then got undressed as well. 

“Are we going in too?”

Within a minute, both Vernon and I were ready to join our clumsy clown and so we all went into the quite cold water. While Chan was very passionate about swimming (just like Vernon and Soonyoung), I was quite respectfully approaching them. Not because of the temperature, but because I was paranoid what might swim around my feet without me knowing. Luckily, they knew that and they didn’t splash me with water to rush me. Vernon was patiently waiting for me, like the gentleman and good boyfriend that he was, even asked if I wanted to hold his hand, which I then gladly took to get deeper. Meanwhile the other two were already dipping their heads underwater or splashed each other. 

Although I wasn’t the biggest fan of being in the water, Vernon made sure to always be around if the other two were occupied with something else or too far away. A few minutes in, the three of them started playing with a soft ball while I preferred to watch them being all silly and excited. The sweet thing was Vernon keep checking how far I was away, or if I was comfortable - something I really appreciated him for. His supportive, caring and low-key soft personality made me feel safe in wherever we were and I loved him for that. After a while, I felt my body shivering and I bet my lips were turning purple. 

“I-I think I'm gonna lay down a bit”, I explained before seeing my boyfriend approve with a nod. So I left the water and headed to our place, wanting to feel the soft towel underneath me. As soon as I was out of the ocean, I felt myself relieved, the ocean just wasn’t my thing. But lying on the towel with a book and something to drink was so much better. Therefore I did exactly that, casually watching the three friends playing or making challenges who could swim the fastest. It was clear that we all needed this day off. They hadn’t had a free fully day off in a long while, therefore it was a hell to organize this day trip. But here we were and I couldn’t have been happier. 

I was on the verge of falling asleep with my open book covering my face, as someone was nudging my leg. 

“Whaaat”, I whined and peeked up - only to see Chan with a grin on his face, all wet and his grey hair being stuck to his forehead. 

“I was gonna get myself some ice cream, are you joining?”, before I answered, my eyes gazed towards my boyfriend. “They keep coming up with new challenges.” 

Amused by them, I giggled and then got up and got my purse. The ice cream stand wasn’t too far away so I didn’t mind getting a shirt over the bikini, why should I? 

“One chocolate and one strawberry please”, I ordered, already knowing that Chan would want nothing else but strawberry ice cream, it was always the same. “I still have no idea how you can actually enjoy strawberries.”

“Uh excuse me when that’s the best flavor?”, he scoffed and contently started eating (deliberately using mmmmmmmhs a million times, which made me nudge him). “Not at you coming for me when you’re ordering the most boring flavor. Chocolate- how creative.”

“Aye! I'm gonna give you a brown nose if you don’t stop disrespecting my amazing taste.” 

Back on our towels, we sat next to each other and both enjoyed our ice cream. Eventually, my eyes met with Vernon’s and he waved back with a wide smile that made me giggle. Chan leaned back and supported his weight on his elbows. 

“From afar, Vernon looks like a stick figure dancing in the water.”

That comment from Chan made me burst out into laughter.

“WHERE did that come from?”, still giggling, we now both observed my boyfriend who definitely looked more handsome than a fucking stick figure. But I kinda knew what Chan meant. Vernon wasn’t the one with the broadest shoulders, not that buff, event that didn’t mean he was exactly skinny. he was perfectly fit. I hit Chan’s chest nevertheless and whined. “Vernon DOESN’T look like that, mister. Just because he’s not as buff as Seungcheol? You’re not that buff either, lil boy.”

That caused Chan to sit straight. 

“DON’T call me that, you dwarf. And I am buff! At least more buff than half a year ago, look!”, he then sucked in some air to appear in a more adequate position, flexing not only his broad upper body but also his arms, which indeed have gained muscle weight overtime. 

“Well, okay maybe a tiny little bit. But look”, I started poking the faded outlines of abs. “still squishy here.” 

Little did I know that Vernon’s expression dropped when he looked over - only to see me touching Chan’s body. 

He just wanted to check what I was doing or if I got bored with him still being in the water. But apparently I had very good company. 

When Vernon’s jealous, he doesn’t seem like it from the outside. He wouldn’t look too different than when he’d just woken up or when he’s bored. Just staring but being rather silent. However, he stopped playing with Soonyoung for quite a moment, his eyes fixed on me and how I giggled to things Chan were saying. What was that funny? He was very well aware that Chan had been my closest friend and that since a long time. But something in Vernon’s head told him that we were being more than just friendly right then. 

“Everything okay?”, Soonyoung asked, impatient with his friend not passing the ball back but Vernon then shook the feeling off as well as possible to continue playing. He was very rarely jealous and even if he was, he mostly was mature enough to know what I was doing, or if I was doing it deliberately or accidentally. He didn’t like being jealous. You were in a strong relationship and he was proud to be my number one safe place, although Chan surely counted as one too. One side of him tried to shake it off and let me have fun with my friend, just like Vernon did with Soonyoung. But the curiosity and slightly anxious feeling of jealousy tingled in his fingertips and he kept sighing when looking over, still seeing us talking passionately, pushing each other or even laying down together. 

‘What am I even jealous of’, he mumbled to himself over and over. Literally to the point where he just couldn’t keep looking over. 

“Hey sorry, I need a break”, he mumbled and gave Soonyoung a pressed smile before leaving the water. He couldn’t take his eyes off us not even seeing him approaching until he was literally standing infront of my towel. Like that, he was blocking the sun for me, which made me whine. 

“Step away, love”, I sat up. 

With that, Vernon nodded and lied exactly next to me, on the same big towel which now didn’t leave any more space. 

“Soonyoung called for you, Chan”, he said casually, rubbing his nose to not seem suspicious about lying. His friend surprisedly looked at him and then stood up.

“Alright then, see you later.”

Vernon waited until the distance was big enough to lie on his back and wrap an arm around my shoulder. This made me smile and roll towards him. He didn’t say anything for a while, not knowing if he should even mention being jealous. He literally felt unnecessarily dramatic with this feeling, especially cause it was rare for him. 

“What was that?” “Huh?”

“You touching Chan, giggling and having fun.”

It took me a moment to know what he even meant, and why he was pointing it out in the first place. 

“Is it bad that we were having fun?”, he sighed.

“Of course not, but...”

“Wait”, I interrupted him as I sat up and looked down at him. “Don’t tell me you’re jealous? Are you?”, now he definitely felt embarrassed about his feeling. Him hiding his face behind his hands proved the whole point, making me giggle. “Babbbyyyyyyy, no reason to get jealous of!”

“I know, I know. Ugh sorry, it’s stupid”, he groaned as he felt my weight now half on top of him as I made sure to cuddle him. Giving reassurance would be enough to calm himself down again. It always helped to kiss his shoulder and explaining the context. 

“We .... uh.... he said that you looked like a stick figure in the water. So I defended you by calling him a lil boy and then, you know, he had to flex.” 

That explanation already was enough to make Vernon start laughing, he could imagine the scene way too well. We were now just laying there, giggling and making fun of the situation. And like that, Vernon felt lighter. 

“Thanks for not calling me a stick figure.” “I got you, baby! But it’s cute when you’re jealous.”

[bjornthorsson20]

The Broken Side of a Flaming Soul

As he walked through the school corridors, Harry Potter decided he had enough. His best friend was being completely unreasonable about this, and he couldn't stand to see him lose a chance to finally admit to himself what the whole House could already see.

The Yule Ball was just around the corner, and everyone was already running around like headless chickens trying to find a date. After being shot down by Cho Chang, Harry had recovered fast and, after making sure Ron was ok with it, he was going with Ginny. On the other hand, Ron had resigned himself to not going, not even bothering to try and find another date after his embarrassing invitation to Fleur Delacour that'd been made in a sudden stupor caused by her Veela powers.

When asked, Ron would just shrug and answer, "there isn't anyone that catches my eye, mate", forcing a chuckle in the hopes he'd drop the subject. Harry did, but he could see straight through that lie. He knew the real reason Ron wouldn't ask anyone else; he already had someone in mind.

And that someone happened to be their best friend, Hermione Granger.

Everyone that knew these two, or had witnessed their interactions all these years could already tell they were made for each other. The only problem was that they couldn't see it, apparently.

Harry first noticed in 3rd year, after that Hogsmeade trip they spent without him. They came back giggling at each other, and blushing whenever they happened to catch the other glancing in their direction. Their hands almost touched, their fingers twitching a little. From that day on, they'd keep this behaviour when they were in the common room doing homework, even around Harry. Without noticing, Ron would sit a bit closer than usual to Hermione and their elbows would end up bumping at some point, which would make their cheeks turn pink. They would continue to stare holes through their parchment before Ron would distance himself a bit, repeating the cycle until it was time to call it a night. Hermione would then rush upstairs faster than a Snitch after muttering a good night to Ron (and only Ron).

Then the Crookshanks and Scabbers fight happened, and Harry was seriously worried they would just call it quits on their friendship entirely. Thankfully, that argument was solved rather amiably, and the two resumed their awkward relationship soon after.

So, when the Yule Ball was announced, Harry thought that it would be the chance for them to finally get their feelings out in the open after a glorious romantic night. But alas, Ron was being his pigheaded self, and simply refused to ask Hermione as his date on account of his dress robes being horrible. "Why even bother going?" he'd grumble.

Harry thought that was rubbish, honestly. Why would Hermione care what Ron wore for the Ball? He knew that Hermione wasn't superficial like that, so, surely Ron had to know. There had to be some other reason he wasn't telling him about, and Harry was going to get it out of him today. And make sure Hermione heard it as well.

Harry had to suppress a grin as he thought back to his brilliant plan to get the two together at last. One day he pulled Ginny aside in the common room and asked her for a favor. She listened intently and, as he went on, the grin on her face kept growing and growing. He was glad Ron and Hermione hadn't noticed him slip away, as they were too busy with their awkward "elbow bumping" homework routine to pay him any mind.

Finally, Harry's feet had dragged him to the library entrance as he shook himself from his thoughts and went in, already knowing the table he was looking for. He made a beeline for one near the back, separated by a bookshelf from the farthest one, where he knew a certain bushy-haired witch sat everytime.

Ron was already there waiting for him, with a book opened up as he leaned an elbow on the table and rested his head on his hand. Harry was surprised to see Ron actually reading a book that didn't involve Quidditch, though he was definitely just pretending to read as he waited; Ron didn't read, that was Hermione's thing!

Harry quickly sat down as Ron finally looked up and fixed him with an unreadable expression. Harry grinned, hoping to lighten the conversation a bit before questioning his friend. Ron attempted to fake read again, but Harry wasn't going to let him avoid talking this time, so he pulled away the book.

"C'mon, mate, stop pretending to be interested in this. You're gonna talk to me." Harry took a look at the cover and snorted, "Immediate Transfiguration. Mate, you seriously expect me to believe you were willingly reading up on homework?" Ron snatched back the book and upon noticing his expression, Harry stopped laughing. Ron's face was set in a deep frown, gripping the book hard, and Harry noticed his lower lip tremble slightly before he bit it and stared a hole through the cover.

Suddenly, the air around them seemed very thick and tense, almost cold, as Harry glanced at his friend, stunned by the sudden shift in mood. That was, until Ron spoke in an unusually weak voice for him, which startled Harry.

"Yes, I was reading this book for real. Figured I could finally follow Hermione's advice and try to learn something to make myself worthwhile in class, saving McGonagall the stress and disappointment. But judging by your reaction, I guess I'm too much of a joke at this point to be smart in any way. I should've left it to Hermione. It's her thing." He spat the last two words venomously, further scaring Harry.

What happened? This didn't sound like Ron at all. Harry was seriously expecting Ron to look at him, laugh at his face and tell him he had gotten him good. But Ron kept looking at the book, and his hands had started shaking slightly.

Harry was about to break the uncomfortable silence when Ron spoke first.

"Harry, I know why you called me here, ok? So, let's get right to it so I can go back to our dorm and hide myself in there for the rest of today." His tone sounded detached, as if he had been rehearsing these lines in his head as he sat there waiting.

"Ron, I'm sor-"

"Forget it."

"No, lis-"

"Drop it." Even though Harry had said these same words to Ron when he tried apologizing to him after the First Task, the way Ron said them wasn't the firm, yet friendly, way in which Harry did. This time they were icy, as if Ron wasn't even going to accept his apology.

Deciding to just head on straight to the point, Harry asked, "Why won't you take Hermione to the Ball with you? Don't even try to say it's those dress robes, I know that's rubbish." He tried cracking a smile but his lips just kept a straight line on his face as he waited for Ron's answer. This whole thing just seemed silly now, and Harry desperately wished he could change Ron's mood somehow. This wasn't going as planned at all.

"You want the truth, then?" Ron's voice now sounded completely normal all of a sudden, as if he wasn't dreading the answer at all, something that immediately caused Harry's stomach to turn uneasily, nervous about what Ron would say.

Harry just nodded, not trusting his voice at the moment, and waited with bated breath as Ron sighed and sunk lower in his chair. He was still half expecting Ron to tell him it was the ultimate prank on him; for Fred and George to come out from under the table and join Ron in laughing at his expense.

What he heard instead made his heart sink.

"Ok, I'll give you the truth. The truth is, I'm not going to bother with something I know won't work. I won't allow myself to go to that Ball in those dreadful robes that'll make me look like a clown in front of the whole school, just so I can fool myself into thinking Hermione and I will have a great night that'll end with us declaring our love for each other. Because that won't happen, outside of my wildest dreams. I know Hermione doesn't feel the same way and I can live with that, although I'm not fucking okay with it. But who am I to say if it's okay or not? I can't be the selfish git trying to dictate who she should or shouldn't like."

He paused to look towards the ceiling as if bracing himself for the next part, before taking a deep breath and continuing.

"Hermione deserves to go to the Ball with someone that can give her a great night and a promise of something more, someone like, I don't know, Krum. Rich, famous, talented, and everything a girl wants for her future. I'll be bloody jealous, really, when I see her waltzing in with Krum or any bloke, for that matter, but that's just stupid. Being jealous of someone you aren't even dating is already low, and being jealous of someone who you don't even have a chance with is bloody pathetic. Really, who would take me? Poor, ugly, rude, vulgar, stupid, clumsy…"

Ron looked at Harry for the first time since he started speaking, and let out a mirthless chuckle at Harry's shocked expression. "I'm surprised Hermione and I are even friends; that she puts up with me when she can rattle off a list of all that's wrong with me, which just further proves I'm hopeless and I don't have a single worthwhile thing about me."

Harry was already feeling sick from everything he had heard. He tried to stop Ron from going on, but Ron just raised his hand and fixed him with a stern look, effectively silencing him, and resumed speaking.

"You are Harry Potter, enough said. I know you don't ask for the attention, but you're headed to greatness, mate. Your path has been set. Hermione is… do I even need to say it? She's brilliant, the smartest witch of her age and all that, and she's gonna rule the world one day. Even if I don't agree with how she goes about things sometimes, that whole S.P.E.W. thing shows she wants to bring a positive change to the world and she'll do that someday. Heck, even Ginny will do great one day, I just know it. Don't tell her I said that, though."

"Then there's me, honestly, can you point out a single thing you can say I'm good at? And, I don't want to hear you say things like "you're brave, you're funny, you're kind". No, I want actual talent for something." Ron stopped talking then to look quizzically at Harry, but by the time he realized he was supposed to answer, it was too late and Ron blurted out, "See? Nothing. None of the subjects here, nothing in these books, I'm not good at a single damn thing that at least 10 other wizards can't do better. I guess there's chess, but no one has ever taken that as something serious from me. It's just a game, anyway, not a career potential."

"So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, what people have been wondering all this time in the corridors is true. Why am I your friend, Harry? Why do you let me hang around you? Is it because I'm a joke, and it's funny to see me fail? Is it because you pity me, knowing no one else would have me? You can just, let me go, mate, don't let me keep dragging you down and distracting you from schoolwork. Merlin knows I can't even write in a legible enough way, so don't let yourself get dumbed down by me. One day, you're both going to realize I'm just deadweight anyway, so, just let me go. It'll make it easier for me to be alone and not have to constantly live in your shadows."

The silence that accompanied this speech would have been deafening, had Harry's ears not already been thundering with a million things in his mind that were just waiting to burst from his mouth in response to his friend. But Harry couldn't speak, he was quite literally stunned into silence by the slap that was felt by all of his friend's words.

Ron finally heaved a giant sigh before standing up, looking down to avoid Harry's gaze as he quickly muttered, "Put the book back on the shelf for me before you go, please", then promptly rushed out of the library.

Harry didn't move though, he literally couldn't. His whole body felt numb, aside from his heart, which was now clenching painfully in his chest.

Harry wondered what had happened to Ron. But there was nothing new. Ron had simply shown his vulnerable side. A side of him Harry had failed to notice before.

He heard a sob from behind the bookshelf, and a wave of guilt immediately came crashing down.

"What have you done?"

[delaber]

Chipped

Rafael Casal x Reader

Note: I love when you send me prompts 😭 I asked for angst and you delivered! Thanks to all the lovely anons and to @theatrenerd86​ of course!

Words: 3K

Warnings: fist fight 🙃

Tagging: @exrthangel @theatrenerd86 @lonelydance @ohsoverykeri @summerofsnowflakes @ramp-it-up @alexander-hamilhoe @honeysucklechocolatedrippin @riiyy @mysearchforgratification @janthony-stan @sillyteecup @biafbunny @einfachniemand @cashskid (Imma keep tagging you unless you say something lol).

The minute you stepped in the door, everything changed. Time seemed to slow down. The music became distorted. Rafa could've sworn that the lights dimmed considerably. The billiard ball rolling in slow motion in front of him suddenly wasn't as exciting anymore. All he could focus on was you and the heavy heartbeat in his chest.

You looked around the room, shot him a small wave from afar and headed straight for the bar as his senses seemed to return to normal, time speeding up again.

You'd shown up to the party late and even though Rafa had only seen you from a distance, it was obvious to him that something was wrong - again. Even though you had held your head up high, your confident body language was outshone by the fake smile and the sadness in your eyes. Rafa watched your squared shoulders as you poured yourself a drink while trying to look brave. And although you were doing a splendid job pretending everything was alright, he didn't believe a second of it. You had never been able to keep anything from him. He knew you too well.

"Are you seeing this too?" Diggs mumbled as he had also noticed the way you were carrying yourself.

"Yeah," Rafa breathed as he looked at you wipe away a small tear, the smile still broad on your lips. His heart was aching in his chest. It hurt seeing you hurt.

"What are we guessing?" Diggs continued in a quiet mumble, "Rob?"

"Definitely Rob," Rafa said darkly. Of course you were crying because of your asshole fuckboy of a boyfriend. The biggest fucking clown to ever walk the face of the earth. Mr Dickbag himself. Rafa's nemesis.

Rafa and Diggs had absolutely hated Rob from the minute you had introduced him to them - not only because the man was absolutely no good, but also because he had come out of nowhere, pulling you away from Rafa at the worst possible time. Before Rob, you and Rafa had - much to Rafa's satisfaction - flirted quite heavily. Hell, on special occasions, Rafa had even been granted access to your bed! But from the moment you had met Rob, everything had been about him, and Rafa had been degraded to being your old buddy again. ...And he absolutely fucking hated it! And he hated fucking Rob for stealing you away. Fucking Rob with his fucking stupid hipster haircut and his fucking badass Michael K Williams scar.

"We should go talk to her," Diggs said quietly, and put down the billiard cue without looking away from you.

"Yeah, I'll see what I can do," Rafa answered without really paying attention to Diggs.

"You? Alone?" Diggs arched an eyebrow at Rafa, "are you sure that's a good idea? Last time you nearly broke them up."

"That's still the plan," Rafa sent his friend a challenging look, "or do you want him to continue breaking her heart?"

"Of course not. You're just... partial," Diggs sent Rafa an equally challenging look. He was all for you and Rafa getting together, but he also knew that Rafa was in neck-deep water.

"Shut up, dude. I know what I'm doing," Rafa mumbled and started walking towards you with determined footsteps before Diggs could stop him.

"Don't stir shit up!" He heard Diggs yell behind him.

Rafa ignored his best friend and took a few brisk steps towards you before he was standing by your side. You were pouring yourself half a glass of tequila, downing it in one go.

"Hey..." he smiled when he caught your eye.

"Rafa!" You jumped a little at the surprise of suddenly having him in your face, "hey. How are you?" You poured yourself another tequila, your fake smile still broad on your lips. You hoped he hadn't noticed your rather weird mood.

"Better than you it seems..." Rafa eyed the contents of your plastic cup.

"Is it that obvious?" You shot him a look.

"You're drinking tequila as if it was water..." He leaned in close and spoke quietly so only you could hear, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," you lied, "I wouldn't want to ruin your night," you said quietly. The truth was that you actually did want to talk about it. Maybe with Jasmine or Emmy - but definitely not with Rafa of all people! You already knew how he would react; he hated Rob and would go absolutely ballistic.

"You could never ruin my night," Rafa smiled softly. "Come," he said and grabbed your hand, tugging you along. You followed him hesitantly but ended up sitting down next to him on a small bench outside the house, determined not to tell him a thing. However, as he immediately put his arm around you and pulled you close, the treacherous tears started welling up in your eyes the second you felt his hand caressing you.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked softly.

"Yes. I'm just having a really shit night," you mumbled while wiping away an annoying tear.

"What happened?"

"Nothing, I'm okay," you croaked, trying to keep him away.

Of course Rafa didn't believe you, and in a matter of seconds, his expression changed dramatically, "Did Rob hurt you? If he hurt you, I swear to God I will kill him!"

You looked over at Rafa whose nostrils were flared, clearly already angry at the scene he had set in his own mind without even knowing if Rob was involved or not.

"He didn't hurt me, Rafa. Stop jumping to conclusions just because you don't like him..."

"So this has nothing to do with Rob?" Rafa arched an eyebrow at you.

There was no way back now. You knew that Rafa would do absolutely anything in his power to get you to tell him about what had happened. You shot him a sideways glance, trying to determine how angry he was before you admitted to Rob's deeds. "It's Rob, alright - but he didn't do anything on purpose."

Rafa clenched his jaws shut and curtly said, "just tell me what happened."

"Promise me you won't hate him..." you whispered while biting your lip.

"No. What did he do?!" Rafa demanded through gritted teeth.

"He - uhm -" you considered shooting Rafa a lie but knew that he would see right through you immediately. Eventually, you decided to tell him the truth even though you knew nothing good would come of it; "Rob - uh - accidentally kissed someone else last night," you mumbled quietly while carefully examining Rafa's face. He looked as if he could punch something so to diffuse the situation, you quickly added, "- but he feels really bad about it and he told me everything straight away!"

"He cheated on you?" Rafa tried to say as calmly as he possibly could although he was doing a horrendous job. Of all the terrible things Rob had ever done to you, this one definitely took the cake.

"He didn't do it on purpose!" You added quickly, "Please don't be mad at him!"

"Why are you defending him?" Rafa said desperately. His face was distorted, his eyes livid, "He cheated on you! Tell me you broke it off with him!"

"He didn't do it on purpose. He's been going through some stuff lately and he told me that he feels terrible about it..."

"Good!" Rafa said angrily and gritted his teeth, "fucking suits him right. Say the word and I'll deck him in his smug face!"

"Stop trying to save me, I can handle myself! This has absolutely nothing to do with you..."

"I'm the one who has to see you like this," he said softly.

You shot Rafa a look, "you pulled me aside!"

"Yes! Because I see right through your fake smile - and it hurts to see you like this!"

"Rafa, I didn't ask for you to take care of it."

"You'd do the same for any of your friends. I don't know why you can't see that he's bad for you!"

"It's just a rough patch! I know he loves me, he's just been stressed lately."

"Are you not listening to what you're saying right now?" Rafa desperately pulled at his hair, "The guy made out with another girl and you're excusing it? You should be livid!"

"I am livid," you shot Rafa a hard look, "why else do you think I'm sitting out here, talking to you about it? If I didn't care that he kissed someone else, I would obviously be inside right now, enjoying myself!"

"If you're truly upset about it, don't excuse his behaviour! Break up with him! He's toxic as fuck!"

"Would you stop that?!" You said sternly, "I know you aren't his biggest fan but he's my boyfriend."

"Why are you even with him? He's a fucking low life!"

"He's a low life?" You said in a shrill voice, not able to hold back anymore, "as opposed to whom, Rafa? To you?"

"As opposed to anyone!" Rafa spat, "why can't you see that there are so many guys out there who are a million times better than fucking Robert Havert?!"

Rafa's words hit a little too close to home and you got really angry with him, "you really want to go there?" You couldn't help yourself.

"Go where?" Rafa shot you an irritated look

"Riddle me this, Rafa; do you by any chance consider Rob competition?"

"No," Rafa said curtly, looking away from you.

You crossed your arms and tapped your foot, "really? Because you've been sending me some weird fucking signals lately while trying to break me and Rob up."

Rafa's feelings were bubbling inside him and before he could stop himself, he spat, "Of course I consider him competition! Isn't it obvious that I'm in love with you?! You and I had something special before he came along and corrupted you!"

"He didn't corrupt me!" You answered through gritted teeth.

"Why did you turn your back on me then?" Rafa said loudly, his voice breaking. He instantly looked ashamed of himself. He obviously hadn't meant to show you so much of his emotions.

"Because I fell in love with Rob! ...What you and I had was a mistake..." you desperately cried out, "sleeping together was obviously a mistake!"

"If it was a mistake, why did it happen three times?" Rafa spat angrily before his eyes became glossy. He was panting hard, his face all screwed up, "please don't regret me," he croaked, his chest aching horribly, "you can't be serious..."

"Of course I don't regret you, Rafa. But we would've never worked out."

"...Because of him?" He shot you a dark look, his chest heaving up and down.

"No, Rafa," you desperately put your hands on him trying to calm him down, "Because you're you and I'm me. We've been friends for ages."

"I don't want to be friends," Rafa whispered before he angrily looked away from you.

"Rafa, honey," you whispered while searching his face, "I love you - but not like that..." you put your forehead to his. Your hands were now on his chest and you could feel the heavy heartbeat through his shirt. "I'm sorry if I-" Your words were drowned by a car door slamming hard and a voice behind you yelling loudly; "Step away before I punch you in fucking the face, Casal!"

Rob was coming at you and Rafa at full speed, an aggressive look in his eyes. You let go of Rafa as if you'd been scorched by fire and ran to your boyfriend, trying to stop him from beating up your friend. You hadn't told Rob about you and Rafa's escapade but Rob had long ago figured out that Rafa was into you - and you knew that he had been looking for every excuse to fight it out with him.

"Everything's fine, baby," you tried, "Rafa didn't do anything. We were just talking. Everything's fine, I swear!"

Rob's eyes were huge, his nostrils flared as he gently pushed you aside and went head to head with Rafa, "what the fuck are you doing, Casal?! Are you trying to get with my girl?"

"I'm protecting her from you."

"And you plan on doing that by hooking up with her?"

Rafa stood up straight, trying to make himself a few inches taller, "I plan on doing that by actually showing her some emotional support!"

"Don't fucking touch what isn't yours!" Rob was snarling angrily.

"Rich coming from you," Rafa said calmly with a small growl, "do you feel like a big man when you cheat on your girl?"

Rafa's choice of words had Rob shooting him a sickening smile, "that's right, Casal," Rob smiled humourlessly "she's my girl. Not yours. And you know what? She never will be yours. You will never get to touch her, to kiss her, to fuck her. She will never want you. I know you've been dying to experience it but you will never get to see her with your cock in her mouth," he said devilishly.

"Rob!" You interjected, disgusted with how your boyfriend was talking.

Rafa couldn't help himself. He knew he would be disloyal to you and that it would escalate the situation immensely, but he was desperate to wipe away Rob's stupid grin so he too smiled before he calmly said, "oh, you don't think I know what she looks like with my cock in her mouth?"

"Rafa!" You hissed loudly from behind your boyfriend.

Rob's smug face fell considerably and although Rafa could hear the disappointment in your voice, he continued, "what? She didn't tell you?"

In a matter of seconds, Rob's face went from red to purple. He took a firm grip in the collar of Rafa's shirt and plunged his head forwards. Rob's forehead hit Rafa's face with a sickening crunch, and Rafa staggered backwards but was on his feet not long after, decking Rob in the face with his closed fist.

"Please stop!" you pleaded them and tried to pull them apart, but Rob punched Rafa in the stomach, causing him to fall to the ground with a thud when all the air was knocked out of his lungs.

Rob plunged forward, put a leg on either side of Rafa and started hitting him repeatedly.

Rafa was desperately trying to defend himself against the rain of fists that were coming at him, but was so busy trying to avert Rob, that he didn't have the ability to fight back. Luckily, Rob was grabbed from behind by two guys that hurled him backwards and off of Rafa. Rob unsuccessfully fought to wrestle himself free from Oak and Anthony'a grips while yelling, "I'm going to break your fucking skull!"

Meanwhile Rafa, who was now back on his feet, was trying to wrestle himself out of Diggs' grip, responding with a "I'd like to see you try, you fucking pussy!"

As Rob and Rafa were trying to fight the men off of them, you stepped in, "what the hell is the matter with you two?" you bellowed.

Rob looked as if he had almost forgotten you were there, the sound of your voice immediately making him stop squirming in Anthony and Oak's arms as he looked at you. Ant and Oak released their grip on him, and instead of flying towards Rafa, Rob took a few deep breaths, his eyes piercing through you as he tried to calm himself down.

"How about breaking my skull now?" Rafa yelled at him while squirming around in Diggs arms hoping to break free.

Rob's gaze flew towards Rafa, while Oak and Anthony took a step closer, ready to punch him to the ground if he tried anything. Rob felt the two men nearing him and looked as if he had only just realised that if he jumped Rafa again, he would have to deal with Oak, Ant, and Diggs too. He took an ultimate decision and with a last look at you, he huffed, turned on his heel and angrily walked away with balled up fists.

Diggs loosened his grip on Rafa who immediately ran to you, "are you okay?" He almost yelled, his voice laced with concern, "I'm so, so sorry you had to see that!"

You looked up at him with a dark expression, "how fucking dare you!" You started out in a whisper but your voice gradually became louder as your tone changed to anger, "how dare you talk about me like that! As if I'm some conquest that you brag about to your mates!"

"I know I'm sorry," Rafa panted, avoiding your gaze, "Heat of the moment."

"Rafa look at me," you searched his face, "this is over," you said slowly, painfully aware that you were breaking his heart in front of his friends.

"It's over?" He looked as if he didn't understand what you were saying.

"We can't see each other anymore. It's over!"

"What? You're choosing that clown over me? What does he have that I don't?"

"Rafa why can't you see that you're just as big of a clown as he is!"

"...what the fuck are you talking about?!" He panted desperately, "I'm just trying to make you realise that he's a dick! I'm helping you. He's treating you like shit!"

"I don't need or want your help. What I want is for you to stay the fuck away from me," you said angrily giving him a small shove. With one last look back at Rafa, you turned on your heel and desperately ran towards your boyfriend who had almost reached his car.

Rafa watched you chase after Rob. He watched you desperately explain the situation to him. Watched you apologise of all people. Watched Rob take you in his arms as if he was the one who had to forgive you. He watched you kiss Rob's cheek before you started crying. Rafa's heart was aching horribly. He almost couldn't stand still.

He watched you get in Rob's car, kiss the man passionately before he pumped the speeder, sending Rafa a smirk as you once again kissed his cheek. Rafa painfully watched you drive away and all he was left behind with was a black eye, a chipped tooth, and a broken heart.

[definitelyseven]

liability | sixteen (m)

summary: reporter meets mafia boss, Park Jinyoung

one | two | three | four | five | six (m) | seven (m) | eight | nine (m) | ten | eleven | twelve | thirteen | fourteen (m) | fifteen | sixteen (m) | seventeen | eighteen - final |

Thirty past noon. He was thirty minutes late. You should’ve known better than to meet up with him, but Jinyoung didn’t give you a choice. 

“Miss, would you like to order something to eat?” the waitress asked for the third time. 

“I’m sorry. I’m waiting for someone,” you answered giving her a small smile. 

“I’m surprised Y/N. I didn’t think you’d actually meet me. I didn’t think he would allow you to,” Jaehyun teased as he sat down across from you. “Coffee, please.”

“You’re late,” you tell him.

“I’m a very busy man,” he smirked. “And I have something you want. The least you can do is wait for me.”

“I know you won’t give me what I want that easily. So what do you want for it?” you asked, getting straight to the point. 

“It’s not what I want. It’s what she wants,” he points behind you. You quickly turned around to see her - Hyewon.

“What the hell is she doing here?”

“Hi Y/N,” she said with a smile before leaning down to kiss Jaehyun’s cheek. 

“You’re together?” you questioned. “No way...”

“What? Surprised that I found someone better than Jinyoung?” she smirked before sitting down next to him. 

“Don’t waste my time. What do you want?” you repeated.  

“I told you. It’s not what I want. It’s what she wants,” Jaehyun chuckles, glancing over at Hyewon. 

“One day,” she said. “All I want is your time.”

“For what?” you asked, suspicious.

“I’ve always lived in your shadow. It’s about time you lived in mine don’t you think?” she smirked, crossing her arms across her chest. 

So you agreed, thinking how bad could it be? She used you like a horse. You followed her around all day, carrying her bags, fetching her whatever she needed. Five hours in to the day, she had you trying every single piece of clothing in the store for her as she sat on her ass, judging every outfit you put on. 

“That dress makes you look like a hippo. Why does everything look bad on you?” she judged while sipping her champagne. 

“What’s the next outfit?” you asked, ignoring her brutal comments. You wished you dressed more comfortably, but Jinyoung’s mother upgraded every piece of clothing you had, telling you it didn’t fit Jinyoung’s style. 

“That one,” she pointed a piece of lingerie. “Give us a little show, won’t you?”

“What? No I’m not trying that on,” you rejected. 

“I guess you don’t want to know as badly as I thought you did,” Hyewon said setting down the glass of champagne. “Put it on and give us a show and I’ll call it a day.” You hesitated but agreed. It couldn’t be that bad, right? It was like a bikini. You walked out of the changing room with your arms wrapped around your body, trying to cover every part that was exposed. “That’s not a show. Do you want the information or not? Stop making me wait!” she yelled at you.

“Why are you doing this?” you asked, rubbing your arms up and down. 

“I fucking told you why! Give us a show or I’m leaving and you’ll never know.”

You swallowed your pride and let your arms down. You walked around the store in lingerie. People in the store were staring and pointing at you. There was nothing you can do, but take it.

“Wow it’s cold in here,” Jaehyun said as he walked into the store. He removes his blazer and places it over your shoulders, covering you up.

“Jae!” Hyewon said standing up almost instantly. “We were just -” 

“I’ll take it from here. You can go home,” he tells her. She glares at you and bitterly walks away. “Sit,” he tells you. You tugged his blazer closer to your body as you sat down next to him. 

“You’re not the bad guy you make yourself out to be,” you said, making him chuckle. 

“You’re telling that to the guy that had you kidnap?” he joked.

You laughed, “I’ve been acting like a clown all day. Are you finally going to tell me what I want to know?”

“Don’t you think it’s weird you know nothing about the man you’re marrying?” he asked.

“You’re right. I know nothing about him,” you agreed. “But you know why I’m marrying him.”

“We’ve been civil this whole conversation.”

“True, but can you guarantee that tomorrow?” you sighed, hugging his blazer tight against your chest. “You’re not going to tell me, are you?”

“If he wants to keep it a secret from you, don’t you think it’s best to leave it alone?” Jaehyun asked. You were surprised by his soft side.

“No matter how many times I begged, he won’t tell me why he left me. This is the one thing that’s standing in between our marriage. I can’t marry him not knowing,” you explained.

“Then why should I tell you? Why would I help him?” he pointed out.

“Because you’re not the bad guy you make yourself out to be,” you repeated. “You don’t want to hurt me.”

“Not you. Him. I want to hurt him,” he reminded as he looked at you. He reaches over to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. 

“What the hell are you doing here?” you hear someone call from behind. It was a voice the both of you were familiar with; Jinyoung. 

“You called him?” you asked Jaehyun. He smirks, nodding. 

You quickly stood up, making sure to cover yourself completely. “Jinyoung...” you called his name.

“Let’s go,” Jinyoung interrupted while grabbing you by your arm. 

“Wait. I have to change,” you stopped him. You quickly got changed and left the store with Jinyoung who was walking way too fast for you. You knew he was upset with you. “Jinyoung,” you called his name, stopping in your steps. He turns around to face you. “My feet hurt,” you complained.

Jinyoung walks back to you and grabs your hand, gesturing you to sit down on a bench. He runs back into the store you were both just in and comes back with a pair of comfortable shoes. "Better?” Jinyoung asked as he finished tying your shoelaces. You nodded. “Let’s go,” he said again, but this time he holds your hand. The whole ride home was silent. He didn’t talk you or look at you, but his hand never left yours. He held it tight as if he was afraid to lose you. 

“Mrs. Park,” you greeted as soon as you walked into the door. She looks at you up and down. 

“What are you wearing?” she said in disbelief. You let out a small sigh, tired of being judge all day. “Those sneakers with your outfit. How could you walk out like that?” she continued to ask.

“Mother, let it go.”

“I may not be able to have a say about your wedding, but I am still your mother, her mother-in-law. I will not let her walk around looking shabby like that. It’s embarrassing,” she tells you both.

“I’m sorry Mrs. Park. It won’t happen again,” you assured her before heading upstairs with Jinyoung following quickly behind. “Don’t you want to know why I was with him?” you suddenly asked. 

“No I don’t want to know,” he replied, untying his tie and tossing it on the couch. 

"If he can find out I was pregnant two years ago, he can find out why you left me,” you revealed. 

“What?” Jinyoung turns to you, angry. “You’re so desperate to find out why I left you, you were willing to strip down naked for him,” he accused. 

“Is that what you think of me?”

“I-I don’t know. I don’t know you,” he said walking away from you. 

You chuckled in disbelief. “Let’s call off the wedding then,” you suggested. 

Jinyoung turns around to look at you, “No, I won’t call off the wedding.”

“Jaehyun was right.”

“What?” he asked, confused and angry. 

“You said it yourself too. You don’t know me. Why get married to someone you don’t know?” you asked him. “I told you. This is the one thing standing in between us. I won’t get married unless you tell me the truth.”

“Why can’t you just let it go?” 

“I can’t let it go. I won’t,” you said with tears in your eyes. “You left me and that’s a fact. But what I went through, you’ll never know,” you spatted.

“I do know...”

“No you don’t,” you argued. “I carried him in my stomach. I felt his kick, his movements,” you cried. “You didn’t lose him. I lost him. And you’ll never know what it feels like.”

Jinyoung looks up from his feet, with tears in his eyes. “No, you have no idea. I know. I know exactly what it feels like.”

“What?”

Jinyoung walks up to you, cupping your cheeks in his hands. He stares at you. “The reason I left you two years ago. I’ll tell you everything if you want to know so badly.” He brings you over to the bed, sitting down next to you. “Remember when we first met? You overheard me talking on the phone with someone about the house by the lake.” You nodded, recalling the memory at the lake house. “They found you when you tried to warn me not to come. You saved me so I had to save you,” Jinyoung explained, holding your hand. “You became my liability that day.”

“I know,” you smiled softly at him.

“I lied to you. You asked if I killed those men and I said I didn’t, but I did. I did kill them,” he admitted. You glanced over at him. Your eyes met his, “When we were in Paris, Mark got a called from my father’s body guard. Their brother found out I killed them so they sought revenge and went after my father. They killed him.”

Your eyes widen, shocked at the words that just came out of his mouth. “No...” Your eyes clouded with tears, “But...but I didn’t see it on the newspapers.”

Jinyoung wrapped his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his chest. “I left because I had to take care of the aftermath. We couldn’t let the public know or else everyone would come after us.”

“Jinyoung...” you whimpered, looking up at him.

“I was mad at myself. I didn’t know how to face my family, I didn’t know how to face you. I blamed you.”

“It’s all my fault,” you repeated after him as tears fall from your eyes. You tried to move away from him, but he holds you tight against his chest.

“You didn’t do anything. I made those choices and I chose to save you. I chose to make you my liability,” he explained. “I didn’t contact you because I didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t want you to feel guilty like I did.”

“I’m so sorry,” you sobbed in his chest. 

“Shhh...” he comforted. “It’s already in the past. I’ve moved on already.”

“Does your mother know?” you asked, looking up at him with tears still in your eyes. 

“She knows.”

“That’s why she doesn’t like me,” you concluded. “I killed her husband.”

“I don’t want you to say things like that ever again,” Jinyoung said wiping your tears away. “I needed time to figure everything out, clean up the mess. I also realized how easy it was for me to lose someone I love. I mean look at my father. He has more body guards than I do, and look what happened to him.��

“You really were protecting me.”

“I tried too,” Jinyoung pulled you away to look at him. “Now you know everything. You know I’m a liar and a murderer. Do you still want to marry me?” he asked tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. 

“Yes,” you nodded with tears in your eyes. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”

Jinyoung smiles, pulling you in for a kiss. “That’s the first time you said you’ll marry me willingly.”

“I’m sorry Jinyoung. I hated you for so long. If only I knew -”

“I didn’t want you to know. I made a decision to leave you and it cost us our baby. I’m the one that should apologize,” Jinyoung said giving your forehead a gentle peck. 

You shook your head, “What do we do?”

He strokes your cheeks gently with his thumb. “We move on. We forgive each other and move on.” After several attempts to calm you down and being unsuccessful, Jinyoung carries you to the bathroom to draw you a bath. “Call me when you’re done,” he said kissing your cheek. 

“Don’t leave me,” you tell him. 

“I would never,” he said stroking your cheek. The both of you strip down naked and climbed into the bath tub together. He pulls your body close to his as you laid your head on his shoulder. “Feeling better?” 

“Mhmm...” you hummed, snuggling closer to him. 

“I love you,” Jinyoung whispered against your temple. “So much...”

You turned to face him and for the first time you whispered back, “I love you too.” Jinyoung smiles, pulling you in for a kiss. His arms wrapped around your naked waist, pulling you close to him as he rubbed your back up and down. You gently placed your hand on his chest, feeling his tongue slip in your mouth. His tongue roams in your mouth, shoving it down your throat and making you moan. Jinyoung’s lips wanders down to your jaw where he leaves subtle kisses along it. 

“I love you,” he whispered in your ears as he nibbles and sucks on your earlobe. You threw your head back, letting out a soft moan. “You’re so beautiful,” he complimented. You feel Jinyoung’s teeth graze against the skin on your neck, leaving a light red mark. 

“The wedding’s tomorrow. Don’t leave a mark,” you warned him. You tangled your fingers in his hair, slightly tugging on it. 

“I’ll mark the places no one, but me can see,” he said against your skin. He lifts your body up closer to his - your core just above his now hardened member. You core was coated with your juices, dying to be touched. Jinyoung reaches for your core, running his fingers up and down your folds, stopping at your clit. His thumb presses against your clit, making you moan. 

“Fuck...” you moaned, attempting to spread your legs further apart in the bath tub. 

“Even in water I can feel how wet you are,” Jinyoung smirked before wrapping his lips around your breast. He slips two fingers into your core, pumping it in and out vigorously. You dug your nails in his chest, dragging it down to his torso. It immediately turns red. “I missed hearing your moans,” Jinyoung whispered in your ear. 

“Don’t stop...” you begged, bouncing on his fingers. He picks you up out of the bath tub and carries your naked body back to your shared room. Jinyoung lays you down on the bed and then climbs on top of you. 

“Have I told you, you’re beautiful?” he smiles down at you. You laugh, nodding. He leans down to give your lips a soft peck before moving down to your core. He spreads your legs apart, blowing a breath of cold air into your wet pussy.

“Hurry up,” you whined. 

“Is someone needy?” he teased, tracing his fingers up and down your folds. “Answer me.”

“Y-yes...” you stuttered. Jinyoung’s grip on your thighs tightened. You let out a loud gasp once you feel his thick lips on your pussy. He sucks on your fold meticulously, lapping up all your juices. Your fingers tangle in his hair, pushing his face deeper into your pussy. His tongue enters your core making your whole body shiver in pleasure. His hand spreads your folds, exposing your clit to the cold air. Jinyoung rubs your clit in circular motions. You squirm in pleasure as you feel the pit in your stomach grow. “Fuck...Jinyoung,” you moaned his name out loud. “Fuck...” Your moans were music to his ears. His hand on your core quickens as you keep squirming underneath him. He knew you were close. “Don’t stop....don’t stop...” you begged again and again. You screamed his name out loud as a wave of pleasure overwhelms your body. 

“You taste just as good as I remember baby,” he smiles, moving away from your core. You got on your knees in front of him. “You don’t have too.”

“I want too,” you said firmly. “Let me.” 

You leaned down close to his hardened member. You quickly looked up at him. Jinyoung smiles down at you, stroking your cheek. You opened your mouth and stuck your tongue out at him while keeping your eyes on him. You placed his cock on your tongue before wrapping your mouth around it and giving it a long hard suck. Jinyoung lets out a low groan, grabbing your hair in a ponytail. He tried to control himself, being as gentle as possible but he couldn’t control it. His grip on your ponytail tightens as he forces his cock down your mouth; his tip hitting the back of your throat. You choke, but he doesn’t stop. He continues to shove his cock down your throat. Your hands wrapped around his cock, moving in sync with your mouth. 

“Fuck baby, that feels so good.” Jinyoung finally pulls his cock out of your mouth when he feels that he’s close. Your eyes were red and filled with tears; saliva dripping down your chin. “You were so good,” he smiles at you, stroking your cheek and wiping your tears away. Jinyoung guides you to sit on top of him, his cock slipping into you. The both of you let out a loud moan. “Fuck baby, you feel so good.”

“Jinyoung...” you moaned, moving up and down his cock. He holds your waist tight, guiding you to bounce on top of him. Jinyoung roughly grabs your neck, pulling you down for a kiss. He shoves his tongue your mouth while reaching your clit. He rubs your swollen pussy in circular motion as you continued to ride him. You reached for headboards for support as you grind your pussy further into him; feeling his tip reach a place that made your body shake in pleasure. “Jinyoung I’m close,” you moaned.

“Almost there baby,” he said picking up his pace when he feels your pussy clench around him. You dug your nails into his skin as a wave of pleasure washes over your body. You hear Jinyoung groan underneath you, feeling his hot seed cover your walls. 

The sound of heavy breaths and panting covered the room. He smiles up at you, pulling you in for a soft kiss before slipping out of you. Jinyoung pulls your body close to his; your back against his chest. He kisses your shoulder as you snuggled close to him. 

You were going to marry this man willingly tomorrow.

a little note from jennie: many of you have asked how many chapters my story has and i honestly don’t have an answer. i write chapters and then post automatically. i don’t preplan any chapters or save any drafts to post later. so i hope you all understand! i’ll be introducing new stories soon. love you all! 

[unscharf-an-den-raendern]

Die Ärzte - Hell (Live Reaction)

LET’S FUCKING GO!

1. E.V.J.M.F

Lol this sounds like a rap song???

Step aside Capital Bra

2. Plan B

THIS SLAPS

They better have a real rooser on stage when they play this. Played by Rod of course cause the man can literally play the broom, I bet he can play the rooster too.

3. Achtung: Bielefeld

Farin 1995: I’m so bored and I hate it. Bela 2020: Being bored is great!

Bela in 2012: I can’t get out of bed cause I’m watching Netflix, help. Bela in 2020: This is fine.

That Aleppo line, damn Bela, back at it again with the social commentary

4. Warum spricht niemand über Gitarristen?

Farin is right, we definitely have to talk about guitarists more. And drummers. And bassists.

Farin really nailed this self-deprecating humor thing. Just like on “Männer haben kein Gehirn: “And that’s why there are mostly stories about Bela in this book, because stories about me are mostly ‘And then Farin went to sleep while Bela payed 35.000 DM at the bar for drinks.’

5. Morgens Pauken

The first single, we already knew that but it still slaps.

6. Das letzte Lied des Sommers

Sounds like it could become a single that’ll be played on the radio all the time

Yes, Farin, we know you love traveling it’s literally in your name

7. Clown aus dem Hospiz

Thees Uhlmann also has a song about this topic, called “Menschen ohne Angst wissen nicht wie man singt”

8. Ich, am Strand

What kind of genre is this? Reggae-Dancehall-Something?

Yes Farin, we know you love the beach and the sea, you literally sang about it two songs ago

allkajdljskd love how it starts all “I’m so happy” and then it’s suddenly “I’m homeless and dying”.

9. True Romance

The second single, also still slaps

Die Ärzte be like “What if we made a Disco song?”

People in ~20-30 years be like “Who the fuck is Alexa?”

10. Einmal ein Bier

Bela/Beer is my new OTP

Only Die Ärzte could make a song about a man turning into beer

11. Wer verliert, hat schon verloren

That guitar solo oh my God, I think I ascended

12. Polyester

Instant Love!!!!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME ROD I LOVE THE SMITHS

Petition for Rod to make a solo album in this style cause I WANT MORE

Petition for Rod to replace Morrissey. The world has evolved past the need for Morrissey.

That makes two of my idols telling me plastic pollution sucks

I’M GONNA WRAP MYSELF UP IN THIS SONG CAUSE IT’S SO GOOD!

13. Fexxo Cigol

THAT DIE ÄRZTE WG REFERENCE

This sounds like it could be on one of Bela’s solo albums, especially Bingo

“Wenn das Raumschiff kommt werde ich in der ersten Reihe stehen” What a mood

Bela getting off in the liner notes about how he wanted to use another word but it didn’t fit

ADRENOCHOME. Xavier Naidoo wants to know your location.

14. Liebe gegen Rechts

BANJO BANJO BANJO BANJO

Die Ärzte be like “What if made a country song about Nazis?”

DID FARIN JUST SAY TRANS RIGHTS?

Banjo, a song about nazis and trans rights all in one song. Other bands could never

Please don’t deadname your girlfriend Farin

THIS IS STUCK IN MY EAR NOW THAT FUCKING BANJO

15. Alle auf Brille

Fielmann should defo use the intro of this in their commercials

Die Ärzte be like: “What if we made an Oi-Song?”

BELA SINGING HURENSOHN! I’m here for Bela screaming Hurensohn live!

“Die Versicherung zahlte”. Stop telling lies Bela, German public healthcare will only pay if you have more than 6 dioptres or if you’re a kid. Source: I’m literally wearing glasses.

16. Thor

Chris Hemsworth stole my body. Just a normal Die Ärzte song.

Someone please send this to Chris Hemsworth

17. Leben vor dem Tod

Oh no here it comes, the song Bela said made him cry.

WHAT IF I CRIED RIGHT NOW?

WHO’S CUTTING ONIONS HERE?

FARIN YOU ABSOLUTE BASTARD

NO NOT STRINGS DON’T MAKE THIS EVEN SADDER

The lyrics could be straight from a Wolfsheim/Peter Heppner song

Please play this at my funeral, thanks

This goes into my “The Most Beautiful Songs In The World” Playlist

HELLO 911 I AM FEELING AN EMOTION

18. Woodburger

That’s their third song about gay sex, what even is this band?

Die Ärzte be like Be Gay, Do Crimes

The chorus is just them repeating the word gay???

Die Ärzte, probably the gayest straight band in the world

Gay sex against Nazis. They really said that, I can’t believe it, I’m...

Other thoughts:

I really like the transitions between the songs

Rod looks so adorable and happy on all of those pics in the booklet, he’s like “Yay, I’m with my friends and we’re making music”. 11/10, the goodest boy, must be protected at all costs.

The sound is great

(Not about the album in general) I love vinyl but the amount of dust that always gets on them is aarrggh. Luckily, my turntable is very forgiving.

This is the first 180g vinyl I own and you can tell because it’s a bit heavier than your average vinyl

Love how the genre tag in the MP3 download is just “die ärzte” and it’s not even wrong, like how else would you tag this album?

[leverage-ot3]

notable moments from The Homecoming Job

leverage 1.02

Dr. LeRoque: Pardon me, Mr. uh?

Nate: Oh, uh, Nathan Ford. You’re Dr. LeRoque?

Dr. LeRoque: Can I talk to you outside?

Perry: Doc, he’s cool, I found him on the internet.

Dr. LeRoque: Yes, that never goes badly. (to Nate) With me.

Nate: Uh… I’ll be in touch.

(Perry hands him the flash drive and Nate follows the doctor out of the room)

okay but big mood “I found him on the Internet” “that never goes badly”

but also,,, bruh we NEED to know how their clients found them,,, like ??? H O W

- - - - -

Dr. LeRoque: You can’t just come in here and get his hopes up!

Nate: I’m just here to provide options.

Dr. LeRoque: There are no options.

Nate: The Veteran’s hospital …

Dr. LeRoque: Is 400 miles away and has a five month waiting list. Everybody in that rehab room is a reservist. When reservists get out they get sent home no matter where home is or how far it is from the treatment they need. Nobody thought this through. We’re not a rich hospital, I cashed in every favor I had to take care of these kids for as long as I could but I have to go back in there and tell Perry we can’t treat him anymore. I have to do that. Run your scam on somebody with money.

Nate: It’s not a scam. I’m here to help.

Dr. LeRoque: People don’t just show up to help. That’s not the way the world works.

leverage really called out the us government’s negligence and neglect for veterans in episode TWO and we stan them so hard for it

leverage said “go big or go home” from the VERY beginning

- - - - -

[Audition Room]

Sophie: Why? Why? I can’t live like this anymore. With the lies and the filth. No. Help me. I want to be clean. I want to be clean.

(two directors watching are overwhelmed by just how awful Sophie is)

Rogers: Yeah, you understand this is a soap commercial, right?

Sophie: Uh huh. When I thought about Peggy I came up with this idea that the dirt was really this giant metaphor, for sin.

(Sophie’s cell rings, she glances at her purse)

Rogers: You should take that. No, no you should take that.

Sophie: Oh. (answers phone) Hello? When? (hangs up) Peggy killed her first husband.

Rogers: Thank you

I literally scream every time I LOVE SOPHIE S O MUCH WHAT THE FUCK

- - - - -

[Parking Lot]

(one man is laying on the hood of a car and another falls on top of him. Eliot turns away from the car as the last man pulls a gun on him. They stare at each other for a moment, then a phone rings)

Eliot: That you or me?

(man seems unsure as the phone continues to ring)

Eliot: Could be important. Does your mama have your number?

(man looks down and Eliot grabs the gun, punching the man in the neck. The man goes down, choking. Eliot unloads the gun and tosses it away before pulling out his phone and answering it)

Eliot: Yeah? Nothing, why?

“nothing”? I’m-

- - - - -

(guard walks by a painting hanging in a museum gallery. He looks away for a moment, and when he looks back a rope is dangling where the painting had been. A cell phone rings)

Parker: Parker. Shh. No, I wasn’t shushing you.

I love her, your honor

- - - - -

(Parker, Eliot and Sophie come around the corner and head down the hall)

Parker: From the first job?

Eliot: Yeah.

Parker: I put all that money in a Swiss bank account.

Eliot: Millions of dollars and you didn’t buy anything?

Parker: I don’t like stuff, I like money.

Sophie: I bought a little retirement home, an island.

Eliot: Nice.

Sophie: In Dubai. And Tokyo.

Parker: What about you?

(they reach the door which has a small envelope with Sophie’s name written on it. Sophie takes it off the door and opens it)

Eliot: Yeah, I’m not about to tell two known thieves what I did with a multi-million dollar payout.

Sophie: Don’t you trust us?

(Eliot doesn’t answer.)

- - - - -

Hardison: This is our new cover story. Welcome to Leverage Consulting and Associates, founded in 1913 by the great Harland Leverage the Third.

(Hardison points to a painting on the wall of an older man that greatly resembles Nate)

Sophie: I’m sorry. Nate is going to kill you.

Eliot: Did you paint that?

Hardison: I’m gifted.

Eliot: That’s weird

HARLAND LEVERAGE THE THIRD

- - - - -

Hardison: Now Leverage Consulting Inc. is squeaky clean, all corporate taxes on record as being paid for the last ninety years. (He gives them each a cell and a folder) All your identities as partners, your payroll taxes are paid, you guys have pension plans and dental, those are employment records, case files and company newsletters.

(the group walks the halls of the Leverage offices as they discuss the files)

Parker: In 1998 I won the sack race at the 4th of July picnic. Cool.

Hardison: Now these, these are your offices. Now you can bring something like a photo, you know what, a plant! I’m a big supporter of dandelions.

hardison goes hardcore when coming up with backstories

- - - - -

(Hardison opens doors to a conference room that holds a long table with many chairs around it. One wall is dedicated to large TV screens)

Sophie: Nice.

Eliot: My man.

Hardison: Long version or the short version?

Sophie: Short.

Eliot: Short version.

Parker: Shortest.

(Hardison hits a remote the TV screens illustrate his explanation)

Hardison: Photo and video forensics programs, back doors into every electronic banking system in the world, running heuristic data crawls all over the news sites to find our clients, oh also!

Parker: This is the short version?

Hardison: Facial recognition database tied into CIA, NSA and the FBI. But, the real pièce de résistance (changes screens to sports games) DirectTV HD Total Sports Package. NFL, NBA and I threw in a little bit of hockey ‘cause I know you people like that.

Eliot: Hockey.

hardison nests SO HARD

like, bring in all the highest tech into your cozy new office you designed for you and your fellow adopted criminals? heck yeah

- - - - -

Nate: Our client is the cameraman. Corporal Robert Perry. He says that the Castleman contractors spooked and started firing.

Eliot: 5.56 NATO rounds mixed in with some 9 mils from the sub-machine guns. Insurgents would have used AK-47s with 7.62 ammo. It has more of a... (hits the back of his hand to his palm) crack. Contractors shot 'em up all right.

Parker: You ID’d the weapon from the gunshot sound?

Eliot: It has a very distinctive sound

D I S T I N C T I V E

- - - - -

Nate: Yes, and lobbyists in every office in Washington, DC. The problem with a cover-up is all the paperwork it takes to keep the lies straight.

Hardison: Internal emails, memos.

Nate: Exactly.

- - - - -

[Roof]

[Hardison and Parker are wearing black and connected to repelling gear)

Hardison: I gotta go back to the office I just remembered something.

Parker (adjusting Hardison’s harness): What?

Hardison: I just remembered gravity and the squishiness of all my manly bits.

Parker: I designed this rig myself. The line is carbon fiber. Five point harness. Weight support here, here, and here. Auto-breaking resistance on the main pulley back here.

Hardison: Okay cool, so it’s tested?

Parker: Not yet.

Hardison: Not yet? When the hell was you gonna test it?

(Parker pushes Hardison off the roof. She smiles, he screams)

Parker: Big baby.

(she jumps after him. Hardison screams until he stops upside down. Parker lowers herself to his side)

Hardison: Seriously? Seriously

hardison’s first time rappelling decidedly Did Not Go Well

- - - - -

Sophie: My company’s focused on meeting senators, but I’m thinking congressmen.

DuFort: You know the great thing about congressmen? Fifty, a hundred grand well spent will get one elected, but then once they’re in the incumbency rate is over 95 percent so you can get an average 18, 20 years’ use out of one of them. In these uncertain times buying a United States congressman is one of the best investments a corporation can make.

[DuFort’s Office]

Hardison: Oh I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. I’m a professional criminal and I find that disturbing

they’re going at america’s THROAT in this one and I love it. thank you john rogers

- - - - -

(while DuFort is distracted Sophie pulls out his wallet and removes the RFID card with her teeth. DuFort takes off his coat to look at the stain)

I am but a simple gay and this was Hot™

- - - - -

the phones hardison gave the team have six main buttons: internet, text, files, to-do, id scan, and mail

- - - - -

Nate: Parker, what’s the status of the voicelock?

[DuFort’s Office]

Parker: Uh, I’ve been sampling DuFort’s speech but I still need a few more sounds.

[Private Party]

Nate: How many?

[DuFort’s Office]

Parker: Well I only need the sounds puh, tuh, oo, ah, eh, oh, ah, ke, a, ef.

[Private Party]

Nate: Ah, only those. Eliot.

(Eliot walks by carrying two trays of appetizers)

Eliot: I’m on it. Pardon. (approaches Sophie and DuFort) Hello.

Sophie: Ooh. Mmm.

Eliot: (to DuFort) Appetizer, sir?

DuFort: Sure, what do you got?

Eliot: I’ve got the pâté d’escargot avec bière d'Argentine and (looks at second tray and grimaces) what looks like old duck, kind of greasy.

DuFort: I guess I’ll have the first one.

Eliot: Of course.

(Eliot offers him the second tray and Dufort looks at him expectantly)

DuFort: Well? May I have some?

Eliot: The greasy duck?

Sophie: Oh, no, no, no, I wouldn’t have the greasy duck.

Eliot: No I wouldn’t suggest it.

DuFort: No, the other one.

(Eliot pretends confusion)

DuFort: The the pâté d’escargot with the bière d'Argentine!

Eliot: Excellent choice sir (gives DuFort the first tray).

DuFort: (takes food) Who is this clown?

[DuFort’s Office]

Parker: Pretty good. Got most of them. Okay, now all I need is ef, uh and kuh.

[Private Party]

(DuFort spits out the appetizer he has taken)

DuFort: This is shrimp!

Eliot: Very good then. (walks away)

DuFort: It’s shrimp you stupid F----!

[DuFort’s Office]

Parker: Oh, there they are. Really loud too

parker being so competent and knowledgeable about voice activation codes? amazing. iconic.

and the whole scene with eliot and the food? hilarious.

also there already another meta post about this but this scene shows just how SMART eliot is,,, like coming up with that on spot??? don’t get me wrong, hardison is “the smartest man [any of them know]” but damn

- - - - -

continuing list of non-weapon objects eliot uses as weapons:

an IV stand

+ bonus

nate: the defibrillator/AED

- - - - -

Perry: Mr. Ford!

(Perry pushes a defibrillator towards Nate, who grabs the paddles. The first man runs toward Eliot with a knife, but Eliot grabs his arm and pushes him toward Nate)

Nate: Hello.

(Nate hits the man in the chest with the defibrillator paddles and he flies backward, unconscious)

eliot looking Impressed™ at nate for that

- - - - -

Eliot: Play time’s over Nate, it’s only a matter of time before they come after us. The tall one, the way he used a knife, ex-Marine, probably Force Recon.

Hardison: You ID’d a guy off his knife-fighting style?

Eliot: It’s a very distinctive style.

two distinctives in one episode

- - - - -

Hardison: I didn’t sign up for any of this. What I did before, nobody got hurt.

Sophie: I stole paintings for a living.

Parker: I never hurt anybody.

Eliot: I actually hurt people, so…

LMFAO eliot but also- notice that sophie never said that she never hurt people, she just said she stole paintings for a living

- - - - -

Sophie: Nate, if anything had happened to this kid--

Nate: You know you guys called on me. You remember? You begged me to run the crew, agreed to play by my rules. Now walk out if you have a problem with that. Walk out any day if you have a problem with that. It’s simple.

(everyone looks hesitant)

Eliot: We finish this one.

Parker: Just one

PSH like any of y’all believe that

- - - - -

Hardison: How do we hit ‘em?

Sophie: Congressman Jenkins, he’s our in. Looked me straight in the eye and told me he’d never even heard of the shooting.

Parker: So?

Sophie: Looked me in the eye? When men are telling me the truth they’re not looking me in the eye. A man only ever looks a woman in the eye when he’s making the effort to lie to her.

Eliot: ...Well you can’t argue with that.

Hardison: Noted and filed

LMFAO

- - - - -

Nate: All right, Jenkins is DuFort’s pet congressman, let’s see if we can get him to bite. The best way to get two people to reveal a secret, get ‘em to turn on each other.

- - - - -

Sophie: You should look out for the signs congressman. Missed phone calls, no more little favors.

Jenkins: Those are the same signs that your wife is cheating on you.

Sophie: That’s right.

Jenkins: What am I supposed to do when that happens?

Sophie (hands him her card): Play the field

- - - - -

Hardison: Congressman Jenkins is very careful. No direct bribes but he’s renovating his house and so far he’s received over $600,000 worth of work for a little over fifty grand.

(Hardison brings up pictures of Jenkins’ house on the screens)

Eliot: Castleman owns the contracting company, huh?

Hardison: I mean, he’s going through like three shell companies but yeah. And this man loves his house. Just check out his web browsing habits.

(Hardison changes the image to a website for wood panels)

Hardison: Look here, see the man spent three weeks picking out the perfect mahogany wood panels. This site is like wood porn.

Eliot: Is his house finished?

Hardison: Not even close.

Eliot: Can I borrow your phone?

Hardison takes out his phone, dials for Eliot and hands it to him.

Eliot (on phone): Hello? Yes, I’d like to cancel delivery on some mahogany wood paneling. Please.

(Hardison tries to help, Eliot walks away)

Eliot: The Jenkins house. Yeah, you know what, do me a favor man, just go ahead and cancel the whole order. Yes sir.

(Eliot leaves the room as Nate enters with a bowl of popcorn and two beers)

Nate: What’s he doing?

Hardison: Yanking the congressman’s chain

I love chaotic (pre)boyfriends

plus at one point it high hey looked like they were holding hands

and eliot’s SMILE at hardison ,,, you soft man, you never stood a chance

- - - - -

Hardison: A woo--whoa, whoa! A wood-- a wooden box?

Nate: A wooden box.

Hardison: Wood? Well, we can put a man on the moon but all our laws go into a wooden box.

- - - - -

Hardison: I mean, break a law, everybody’s done that, my mama’s done that but steal a law. Oh, she’s gonna be a legend baby.

(on screen, C-SPAN news shows the Senate floor where Parker is walking to “The Hopper”. She waves at the camera and puts the fake bill into box.

Parker: The eagle has landed.

Nate: It’s in!

Hardison: Uhn! Go ahead girl! Sexyness! Unh. Rrrnnn.

Nate: Might want to ease up on that a little bit.

Hardison: Just saying.

Nate: Yeah.

Hardison: Between me and you. Between me and you.

Nate: Never leaves the room.

adorable “the eagle has landed” parker + already-gone-for-her hardison ,,, I love it here

- - - - -

(also, again I am reminded that there is a 250 text block limit so imma have to make a part two and apparently this is my life now)

[theetangerine]

What it’s real like being a Dyslexic

Today's  post shall be about Dyslexia from  "Dyslexia the Gift". Well I didn't know that I was blessed with such an omnipotent power. Thank you Dyslexia the Gift for Awakening my abilities. Anyways this post is just my rebuttal to this list as an Anthropomorphic Tangerine with severe dyslexia. Here we go: General:

1. Appears bright, highly intelligent, and articulate but unable to read, write, or spell at grade level.

Ahhhhh.......... so I am all those big words that I can't spell or pronounce.

BTW who ever came up with the word Dyslexia is a troll cause you knew damn well I can't spell that.

2. Labelled lazy, dumb, careless, immature, “not trying hard enough,” or “behavior problem.”

Hey I am not lazy just because Suzie spends her the night figuring out Algebra questions and I on the other hand will look at her formula, "Copy and Paste" for myself and even then at the end of the day I stilled will have learned it. Einstein did say there are different types of genius.

3.Isn’t “behind enough” or “bad enough” to be helped in the school setting.

Let's just pretend it didn't take me 3 times to read this inorder to understand it. Anywhose.

The school suggested to my parents to take me to get tested. Although I think it was because they wanted justify their discrimination against me.

 4.   High in IQ, yet may not test well academically; tests well orally, but not written.

Lies. I failed in both.

5.Feels dumb; has poor self-esteem; hides or covers up weaknesses with ingenious compensatory strategies; easily frustrated and emotional about school reading or testing.

*clear throat* In best Beyonce voice "I'm survivor................"

6.Talented in art, drama, music, sports, mechanics, story-telling, sales, business, designing, building, or engineering.

 Ohh.......come on I suppose to be talented in these fields why didn't Dyslexia tell me this.

7.Seems to “Zone out” or daydream often; gets lost easily or loses track of time.

They were in the Zone like in Soul

woahh..... that was a bar.

8.Difficulty sustaining attention; seems “hyper” or “daydreamer.”

 As I type this I peer out through the window wondering if clouds really are made of precipitation or that is what the Illuminati wants you to think.

 9. Learns best through hands-on experience, demonstrations, experimentation, observation, and visual aids.

Crash Course history is my religion.

Vision, Reading, and Spelling:

10.Complains of dizziness, headaches or stomach aches while reading.

 Starts going in the 4th dimension if I pick up a book.  

11.Confused by letters, numbers, words, sequences, or verbal explanations.

Algebra is not for dyslexics. You mix letters and numbers together. Mathematicians were not thinking of dyslexics when Algebra was created.

 12. Reading or writing shows repetitions, additions, transpositions, omissions, substitutions, and reversals in letters, numbers and/or words.

Yes Yes . Truly feal for all of of my teacher who read my essays.

13.Complains of feeling or seeing non-existent movement while reading, writing, or copying.

I am Percy Jackson so I am a god.

 14.Seems to have difficulty with vision, yet eye exams don’t reveal a problem.

 I actually had glasses.

15.Extremely keen sighted and observant, or lacks depth perception and peripheral vision.

Yet another sentence I can't understand. Hold up let me go and look up “depth perception” so I can understand this sentence, real quick.........................This is true.  

 16.Reads and rereads with little comprehension.

Reading number fifteen (15) proves this.

 17.Spells phonetically and inconsistently.

 Hooked on Phonics told me otherwise.

Hearing and Speech:

18.Has extended hearing; hears things not said or apparent to others; easily distracted by sounds.

Being an only child while being home alone this ability doesn't have any benefits.

 19.Difficulty putting thoughts into words; speaks in halting phrases; leaves sentences incomplete; stutters under stress; mispronounces long words, or transposes phrases, words, and syllables when speaking.

 I feel called out.

Writing and Motor Skills:

20.Trouble with writing or copying; pencil grip is unusual; handwriting varies or is illegible.

 I may have changed my writing style multiple times. Some legible, some not.

 21.Clumsy, uncoordinated, poor at ball or team sports; difficulties with fine and/or gross motor skills and tasks; prone to motion-sickness.

But if I am supposed to be talented at sports in the afro-mention point why can't I catch a ball.

Dyslexia being confused since 1877.

 22.Can be ambidextrous, and often confuses left/right, over/under.

Yip...A 20 something that doesn't know their left from their right.

 Math and Time Management:

23.Has difficulty telling time, managing time, learning sequenced information or tasks, or being on time.

Well if I can't tell time I can't manage my time thus I don't have enough time to do tasks so that is why I am never on time.

 24.Computing math shows dependence on finger counting and other tricks; knows answers, but can’t do it on paper.

 Only if Math exam were oral I would have accolades in Math.

 25.Can count, but has difficulty counting objects and dealing with money.

 Y'all I have nightmares about being a cashier.  

 26.Can do arithmetic, but fails word problems; cannot grasp algebra or higher math.

As I said before Algebra not, for dyslexics.

Memory and Cognition:

27:Excellent long-term memory for experiences, locations, and faces.

I wish could forget about that time I fell down in front the entire school. And yes this is not an exaggeration. The ENTIRE school saw this.  

28.Poor memory for sequences, facts and information that has not been experienced.

Subjects dyslexics shouldn't do:

Science: too many big words you can't spell.

History or Literature: reading is detrimental to your health.

Math:  A-L-G-E-B-R-A

 29.Thinks primarily with images and feeling, not sounds or words (little internal dialogue).

Sad truth I wear my heart on my sleeves. It's fricking annoying cause I want to be mad in peace without anyone knowing Goddamn it .

 Behavior, Health, Development, and Personality: 

30.Extremely disorderly or compulsively orderly.

I am Death the Kid.

(If you don't get that reference you are uncultured)

 31.Can be class clown, trouble-maker, or too quiet.

Like I was disliked in school for being too quiet. You would think that it was students oh no no no Patricia it was teachers.

Sorry Mrs. Emily for not giving you grey hairs, so you have the opportunity to go home to your loving husband to complain about how much you hate your job and kids. While you thinking about your affair with the young nextdoor neighbour, who you would end up marrying only to then leave them for a hot 20 yea.............................Ummmm that got a bit personal there lets continue shall we  

32.Had unusually early or late developmental stages (talking, crawling, walking, tying shoes).

 It took a while to learn how to tie my laces.

 33.Prone to ear infections; sensitive to foods, additives, and chemical products.

So wait not only did Dyslexia inhibit my ability to read, comprehend and to tell my right from my left to function normally in society but it caused my ear infections too. That is it I'm done

Moving to Siberia.

 34.Can be an extra deep or light sleeper; bedwetting beyond appropriate age.

 I was a very well trained tangerine.

 35.Unusually high or low tolerance for pain.

Everytime I stub my pinky toes it feels like an aeroplane wheel rolled over it.

36.Strong sense of justice; emotionally sensitive; strives for perfection.

 Facts!

37.Mistakes and symptoms increase dramatically with confusion, time pressure, emotional stress, or poor     health.

2 second Rant

Examiners don't think of dyslexic people, even with extra time. The sheer amount of times it takes just to understand the question then to answer with the best possible Grammar is straight cruelty.

You automatically want me to fail and not finish don't you.

You Demon.

  Mini sidestory:

While writing this I asked my significant other to spell "Exaggerate", dude looked at me and told me to sound it out. Past me knew he was going to say this and I did sound it out  before he asked me to sound it out. I told him that I did and that I don't know what letter comes after "Ex", he was like babe sound it out..................................

Tangerine internal thoughts: (Exsqueeze me) Every time try that a ""H" is coming up in my head. I thought this through ya know.

In conclusion I sound it out to my phone.

 To anyone who don't understand Dyslexia fully I do suggest researching.  

My commentary is completely subjective but if you relate that is good :)

 That's all my Fruits until next time

- TheeTangerine

Proof read by TheeApple<3

https://www.dyslexia.com/about-dyslexia/signs-of-dyslexia/test-for-dyslexia-37-signs/

[yokelish]

Heart of a dog.

An OC for BSD no one asked for? It’s more likely than you think. A day in life of an original character by Yokelish no one asked for? Absolutely. I don’t have to, I know, but Misha has been on my mind recently, which worries me. Mostly, worries me about me. Anyway.....Here he comes. I just want to make sure for myself that I can tweak my writing style a bit. I am very humorous.You can read it, of course, and you can take it as an example of how not to write an original character. 

Anyone, here’s a thing I made for my kouhai, check that if you are more interested in canon characters. 

✏ Universe: Bungou Stray Dogs  ✏ Characters: Mikhail Bulgakov OC ✏ Word count: 3,094 (too many tbh) ✏ Warnings: mentions of alcoholism, drugs, smoking, and a dead animal.

Heart of a dog.

If there was a god above, then he must know how awful it felt to wake up in the morning. There was nothing as worthy of collective loathing as mornings. Extra sprinkles of revulsion get the mornings involving work. Mikhail covered his eyes when picking up the ringing phone. The light hurt him just as much as the idea of getting up from the bed. The ringing was tenfold louder and more annoying in his head, hitting the walls in his skulls like a smith’s hammer. Every sensation felt like an assault on his already shaky sanity.

“You have a patient in an hour,” said familiar voice on the line. Misha groaned. It wasn’t her voice that grinding on his nerves, it was the idea of having to do work today. The woman on the phone sighed with deliberate loudness just to let him know all about her frustration. She was the only person who could stand having him. Mostly because he payed her a pretty sum but that wasn’t the only reason.

“You have no option,” Nadejda reprimanded. There was a sound of typing on the other side, but it ceased quickly. “It’s Olga Danilovna.”

He took a deep breath. There was no mental exercise to prepare for that. “Dear, I don’t pay you for ruining my day the moment it begun.”

“Right, you pay me to do my job,” she spoke sternly. “And if my job ruins your day the moment it begins, I’m sorry, get a better life.”

“Understood, the blame is mine. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“You better be here in an hour.” Nadya hang up the phone first. The annoying sound of a call ending assaulted his hearing. The sensations of the outside were coming on too strong, they were attacking, they were frustrating. Everything was too sharp, too bright, too loud. His head was pounding with the reminders of how Misha had spent the last three days. It was nothing close to productive.

Mikhail got up from the bed with a groan of a man who was drinking for days straight. He wasn’t dry for an hour, as the saying was. He sighed, and groaned, and regretted the drinking. He would do it again. The clothes on the floor didn’t bother him. There was never anyone to pass judgement. There was never anyone to tell him to get his life together either. There was simply no one. Barefoot he walked across the room, picking up and collecting articles of clothing that would go in the wash now. There was an hour for him to get to the office, which wasn’t impossible, but it meant he had to move around his small apartment faster. And he doubted his mind and body could comprehend moving faster without sending the surroundings spinning. Everything was too overwhelming now. It wouldn’t get better for a while.

The cold water splashing against his face brought some sanity back. It felt good to be reminded the drinking had yet to kill him. It was nice to be reminded he had a job only he could do. It felt good that he was alive and capable of doing something. It was all a comforting lie to get over himself and his hangover.

The cold air of the outside smelled like that of a big and polluted city. The sounds were loud but distant, multiple but common. Nothing new was added to the picture he witnessed day after day. It’s an old painting he studied for hours, every stroke, every shade, every perspective too familiar. Nothing about it was new or surprising or remotely pleasant. It simply was and it was only ever changing in ways that didn’t matter. The city he got too familiar living in. The air, the sounds, the broken pavement underneath. The sun was hiding or finding comfort in the heavy grey clouds foretelling rain. The sun, too, didn’t want to see the city. This weather was for the better. The bright and shiny would sulk the mood. That would go against his already ruined day. Bulgakov stopped walking only to get the cigarettes out and start one. The smoke felt good in his lungs. It smelled better than the city too.

Fortunately, it didn’t start to rain while he was trying to get to his office on time. Doctor Bulgakov appeared in a somewhat acceptable state in. Unfortunately, he didn’t make it within the given time frame. And, unfortunately, there were no excuse for him available either.

“Late.” A stern, annoyed, but factual statement. The voice belonging to the woman of the hour. Mikhail shook of his coat and carelessly hung it. Nadejda was sitting at the receptionist table looking very annoyed herself, staring daggers at the other woman. Such were the days featuring Olga Danilovna.

“Hey there, Dan. It’s been a while,” Mikhail shifted his attention to the child in a wheelchair. He was a blonde boy, aged eleven, with a pet cage on his lap. The cage covered up with a blanket. By the size of it, Misha would guess it was fit for a rabbit.

“Hello, Doctor Misha,” the boy replied slowly, patting the blanket-covered cage as if the animal could feel it.

“I guess it’s your leg this time.”

“It hurts.” As honest as a child could be. Nothing wrong in admitting being in pain. Danila was staring at the wall mindlessly, repeating the same motions with his hand.

“Just hold on a little longer,” the doctor assured. “It will be over soon.”

Bulgakov unlocked the door to the examination office. It smelled the same as always: sickeningly familiar smell of disinfectant that turns sweet to senses over time. It smelled more like home that anything else. Nadya was always a good keeper. She kept his office as pristine as she kept his dirty secret. Well, the secret wasn’t awfully dirty but, as all secrets are, problematic to keep in check. It had to be controlled who knew and who didn’t. If too many people knew about it, life would become very uncomfortable very quick. And Mikhail was a person of comfort.

For the sake of formality, he put on white medical coat over his sweater. He took the cage off the boy’s lap and placed it on the table. Danila barely reacted to the change, dropping his hand on his lap the moment the cage was gone. Bulgakov peeked inside. Inside was, indeed, a rabbit.

“You really like animals, Doctor Misha. Where do you keep them all?” Danila asked. It was a gift of being a child to be so oblivious to the obvious.

“Me? No. I have a friend who lives on a farm. He adores them,” Bulgakov lied and did so naturally. At some point, he even thought of a name for said friend, how big the farm was and what animals lived there now. A well-repeated lie was a believable lie. The more it’s told, the more it turned into the truth of things. It wasn’t a stretch of intellectual thought to count all the pets that came into his office along with the patients and conclude a remarkably simple outcome: those pets never went home with him. But he wouldn’t break a child’s heart so cruelly. In six weeks, Dan’s leg would be perfectly healed. And the rabbit would be six weeks older. But six weeks is too long for his mother to wait. A broken bone is a note in the medical history of an upcoming sports star. Mikhail never bothered to remember what exactly Danila played.

Mikhail came to inspect the boy’s leg. The safest bet in his line of work is to assume the worst possible injury: broken. But on the plus size, it seemed to be broken only in one place.

“Put your arms around my neck and hold on as tight as you can,” he said to the boy. Tiny hand grabbed around his neck without much force behind it. “On a count of three. One.” He carefully hooked his arms under Dan’s legs. “Two.” The doctor mentally braced himself. “Three.”

It wasn’t terribly difficult. It was only the weight of a child, after all. But Misha was having a terrible hangover and, thus, everything seemed more difficult than it should have been. Danila was now sitting on the exam table. Not that there was anything else to examine. And even if there was some injury unseen to the naked eye, he hardly had the equipment for it. Taking care of the child was a job for the mother. Bulgakov offered the headphones to the child. A useful thing to protect the child from a conversation that a child should not be privy to.

“Well, you know the drill, Dan,” Mikhail said, helping the boy to lie down comfortably on the table. “Headphones on, eyes closed, full relaxation.” The patient nodded, putting on the noise cancelling headphones on without questions. Danila was a good child just not equally blessed with good parents.

After making sure that Dan couldn’t hear a thing, Bulgakov returned to the rabbit in a cage. Lovely animal: calm, big, with a shiny fur. Misha took the rabbit in his arms and started to gently stroke the animal to calm it. It was warm, and alive, and completely defenseless.

“You look like you’ve been drinking for two days straight,” Olga Danilovna observed. Misha couldn’t tell if she was judging or simply stating. Not that he cared for either of those things, it was mere curiosity. He rarely could decipher any emotion within her unless it was anger and irritation.

After a quick mental math exercise, he forced a smile on his face. “Actually, it was three. I’ll take it as a compliment.”

“You think you are funny,” she mocked him. “Nothing worse than a man thinking himself funny.”

“I thought there was nothing better than a man acting like a clown,” Misha replied, grinning. “And nothing worse than a man thinking himself awfully charming.”

Olga shook her head, fake blonde hair perfectly styled with too much spray, and rolled her eyes. And that was the end of that conversation. However, there was something else on Bulgakov’s mind, something he doubted was worth mentioning. After all, it wasn’t any of his business. The last thing he needed to do is to pass any judgment on people who paid him. It was an excellent advice, most importantly, it was an instruction he gave himself. He couldn’t be wrong about that. And so, he didn’t listen.

“You drugged him,” he stated simply. There was barely any judgement in his voice. There was no point in judging a client, least of all, a client that wouldn’t listen. But a warning wasn’t something Olga Danilovna would accept either. A challenge, however, she could listen to.

“I gave him painkillers, yes,” replied Olga.

“No, I expected painkillers, that’s why he wasn’t crying by the time I showed up. I am saying you drugged him. I noticed the slowness in his reaction time. I saw his eyes up close.”

“What did you expect me to do? He is still a boy and can’t handle pain very well.”

Bulgakov sighed. What was he expecting to get by starting this conversation, anyway? Danila was his patient and nothing more. And the only reason the kid even was a patient was because his mother could afford to pay. It really wasn’t any of his business. He should forget about it. Mikhail continued to stroke the animal in his arms, offering whatever little comfort he could. And taking in all the comfort the rabbit could provide. It was alive, and warm, and with a soft fur. It felt lovely to hold a rabbit in his arms.

“I have to ask, though,” Olda Danilovna started to speak again, “would you be able to treat a concussion?”

“A concussion? Are you serious, Ol’?” he could even tell why he was getting riled up. “He’s eleven. Get him into swimming or some other Olympic sport.” Never mind, after some quick digging, he remembered that he had a personal dislike towards Olga Danilovna. Money can buy a service; it cannot buy positive personal bias unless for testifying in court.

“And what of it? Even if he wins the Olympics and brings home gold, he will peak before he’s twenty-five and then what?” Olga crossed her arms on her chest. Cold-blue flame flickering in her eyes dangerously — a warning. “Be a PE teacher? A swimming coach? No, thank you. And answer my question, damn you.”

“Sure, I can,” Mikhail answered, giving up. Arguing with a woman such as herself would only bring headache. Her voice was as sharp as her glare. And he was still recovering after a hangover.

“Would a rabbit suffice?” she continued to question.

“Depends on the severity,” the man shrugged. The rabbit in his arms was acting like a perfect companion. Perhaps, whatever little comfort he could offer was just enough to keep it calm. “If there is an open wound gushing out blood from his head, then no, you’ll have to find something bigger.”

“Like what?”

“Well, there are plenty of stray dogs on the streets.”

“Screw you.”

“Understandable.”

Cutting the conversation short, Bulgakov took his seat behind the table. The rabbit still cradled in his arms. He knew the pain that would follow render him useless, he’d collapse on the floor and then live with the embarrassment of such memory. Not that he cared for it, but for the sake of formality. The pain intensified and was only made worse by the remains of the hangover. If it made his head pound and body feel weak, now he could safely say he knew exactly what getting hit by a car felt like. It was a pain to the tips of his fingers, clouding his mind, rendering him mute and weak. The only positive about this state was that he was familiar with this. It was a pain that never got better; it never got worse. It was stagnant and familiar, which means he got used to it over time, with each use. He learned to live with it. Today just happened to be a little worse due to careless hangover. His hand rested on the still warm rabbit’s fur.

“You can take him, Ol’,” Bulgakov rasped as if dying from thirst. “Nadejda Andreevna will process the payment.”

Olga Danilovna didn’t waste a second more, running up to her son and getting him up from the table. In a hurry she could pass for a warn and loving mother, she even examined the previously broken leg. She asked if anything hurt. Olga could pass for a caring mother and not a woman who wanted to live out her ambitions through her son. With his leg perfectly healed, Danila wheeled the chair himself.

“Thank you, Doctor Misha,” the boy said with a smile before leaving the room. His reactions were a little faster this time around.

Mikhail, however, barely had the mental capacity left free from the pain to comprehend the words and offer a reply. Nonetheless, he managed. “Be careful next time, Dan.” He offered a feeble wave of his hand before the boy left. When the door closed, Misha slouched on the table, resting his forehead against the cold wood. It was offering no relief whatsoever, but it felt grounding. A sensation to tether him to reality, otherwise, he would allow himself to drift away from it. The rabbit’s fur felt less warm. That was even less of a comfort. It stopped mattering the moment he picked his phone this morning.

It was all a little useless. Nothing but a play of a repentant man. One actor theatre: he is on stage and is the audience. He didn’t count seconds, cared not for minutes it took for Nadya to come in through the door with a glass of water. He heard the door opening, her light steps, but didn’t want to raise his head just yet.

“You’ll survive, right?” Nadejda asked with amusement in her voice. He was rendered useless, true, but not helpless.

“Bastards live a long life.” A glass was placed on his table. Mikhail chuckled, amused by the thought that rushed through his pounding head. “Careful, dear, I’ll start to think you are a warm and caring human being.”

“That will be your grave mistake,” she replied.

“Doesn’t sound so bad.”

“Take your pills and, please, with water. It’s not in my interest for you to choke on them.”

“I shall.”

“You want me to take care of that?” she asked coldly, uncaring. That was why their arrangement was most perfect. That was why he hired her and why she remained by his side. There were few reasons why she could stand to work for such a horrible, irresponsible boss. Not only because he could pay her a pretty number. Not only because they were legally bound by a contract, preventing Nadejda from getting her hefty paycheck in case of Bulgakov’s strange death. It wasn’t only because she could keep her pretty mouth perfectly shut. But because Nadejda was aware of her self-serving nature and did not care. Nadejda Andreevna did not, in fact, care for anything but herself.

Mikhail placed the rabbit on the table and took out a cigarette from inside his pocket. He put one in his mouth. Nadya wordlessly offered a lighter. The smoke felt good inside his lungs: warm, calming, and perfectly harmful.

“No, it’s fine. I’ll take care of it,” Mikhail replied, evenly breathing out cigarette smoke. He reached in the drawer to get the pills out. Something to dull the pain, something to bring more senses back to life. Nadya was leaving the room in her usual catlike steps.

“You’ll lock up, right?” she asked, stopping in the doorway.

“Sure,” Misha nodded.

“See you when I see you.”

“Right back at ya.”

The door closed behind her. Soon, the office would be completely empty. He would leave, locking up for the day. Soon, the pain from his body would disappear completely, gone without a trace. His state would return to what it was when he woke up. Soon, there would be nothing bothering him but the hangover. The pounding would get less intense as time passed. By the end of the day, he should fell relatively fine. Soon, he would be heading home where he’d get to be as miserable as he felt like to be. Soon. Right after he would bury this obviously very dead rabbit on the table.

[calypsoff]

Six. Part 2

It’s nice that Rakim came but I was not ready for him to be here at this moment, not when I am ready to split with him. My family are making him feel most welcome, pulled him up a seat right next to me at the table and now I am just like what the fuck, is this the surprise he was saying. He bought my mother a bag, like this is so sweet of him to do that but now I feel bad, now I am feeling I have to hold back on getting rid of him but I need to do it “I will be back” I said to Rakim, pushing my chair out as I got up from the table. Walking around the table and crouched down to Mel “your man bought me a bag, girl. I like him” mean mugging her “be quiet. I feel bad now. What do I do?” I need her advice “I would keep him, I’m joking. You’re unhappy then admit to it, this is not your fault. You didn’t ask him to do this” she has a point “that dickhead text me, he had the nerve to say he misses my body and can we talk. I said no, who he is to even ask that when he’s with that bitch, he didn’t ask if I got back or anything, you know? A bit shit, not going to front on that, but I am” Mel poked her bottom lip out, she knows me “don’t fret over that” she pointed at me as I got up from my position “what are you girls gossiping about?” My mom asked “you, we dislike your top” I lied, she looks so offended for no reason at all “you bought it me?” Walking back to my seat laughing “I am joking mommy, stop looking so offended” sitting back down, shuffling my chair in “I missed you though, it was funny because homies were clowning when they saw you with that dude but you looked annoyed” I breathed out laughing “we just met up for a meal, you know how I am when I’m grumpy” I’ve forgotten the argument we were on at that moment, my phone pinged. Actually my phone has been pinging for a while, last time I checked Jay Brown has been messaging me, looking down at my phone. My bitch Katy texting me too, just under that Twin has text me three times now. Unlocking my phone.

Twin:

I’m literally at work and on my break btw....?

I was joking about that

Coconut head?

Exiting out of his messages and locking my phone “shall we say Grace?” My mom said, I thought she was going to say Grace. Placing my phone down and reaching over and holding Rakim and Noella’ hand, just as my mom was going to start to say grace my phone started to ring, seeing Twin calling “I will be back, say grace without me” getting up from the chair and grabbing my phone from the table, answering the call as I walked off “hi” I answered “knew you would answer, how easy of you” he’s actually being an ass “I am joking with you please break a smile” sliding the door open “I am smiling” walking outside “sure you are, I am at work you know. Like I was joking about all that thing” sitting down on the lounger “right, working on Christmas eve?” resting my head on my hand “that is what normal people do yeah” I sniggered “right, you called me for what? Not like you cared if I arrived?” biting on my nail, I just don’t get why call “I miss you, we still friends” taking in a deep breath “yeah, well I am going to go back in and have fun with my family” I want to say something but I won’t, this is up to him “that is cool” he said, a long silence on the line, there is many words between us but I won’t say anything and neither will he “bye” disconnecting the call, I hate to be cold with him but it is what it is.

My family really get along with Rakim, it’s cute to see and I want to feel bad, but I need to do it for me “hey” touching his shoulder “can we speak?” He looked up at me smiling “for sure” my brothers looked unimpressed, they are in a middle of a game but they can wait, this needs to happen now or I will end up backing out thinking of the consequences which I don’t need to do, I want to be happier and be free, I need that. Walking back into the home “I will be back down mom, just need to speak to Rakim” my mom smiled “I was just bringing some leftovers out, I know the boys get hungry” my mom is sweet “he will be back down” I think he will be, I was going to go upstairs but everyone is pretty much outside so I can just go in the spare room, I hope there is no raised voices well if that is if he is rude with it all, we shall see. Turning around to Rakim, he closed the door behind him. Something different about him, I can’t put my finger on it but he is giving me a different vibe, I am sure I will work it out soon, there is a 100% something different though “you good?” Rakim asked me, staring at him not knowing how to start it off, do I just say it’s over or explain myself “uhm” looking down at myself “there is like no real way of speaking on this, there is actually a reason behind why. I don’t feel happy” Rakim smirked “I also want to speak on it, I think we were better off as friends” I breathed out “oh my god!” I spat, that is the biggest weight lifted “flight here, I was thinking on how to approach the situation and I was thinking how much we had fun, we were happy. We aren’t good as being boyfriend and girlfriend. As friends we get on so well, and I didn’t want to upset you so I was going to wait it out because every day we kept up with this persona it was straining the friendship we could salvage, but we are better as friends” I am so happy “we really” I added “I came here with gifts because your family is mine and my family is yours, I want us to remain as friends, we are better that way” nodding my head smiling “you don’t know how much this means to me, I was so scared on how to bring it up” walking towards Rakim, we hugged each other close, I am glad he felt it.

Rakim held the door open for me “so petty things started to occur, I was being petty about small things that didn’t need to happen. I just felt like I need to be the bigger man in this, I don’t want us to fall out and we can’t be friends, I think what did it was the bed situation. But least we can enter the new year just being happy, if you happy. I am happy, we happy yeah?” nodding my head, this has to be the best situation “I think it hit me in a way, you started to slowly be mean to me and it hurt me because I did nothing wrong at times so yeah, least we can be adults about this. And friends it is, I feel like a big weight has been lifted Rakim, I have been worried and today I just thought fuck it let’s just get on with it. Maybe it’s me, maybe I am not ready for a relationship. I think that sometimes, I am very much in deep with my career, you know?” Rakim smiled agreeing with me “you’re in your peak Rih, but I think relationships will always be there. You got time, we still will go out to smoke though” he got his fist out to me “for sure” fist bumping him, my eyes searched for Mel and I found her just waiting for me “I am going though, like after this. I didn’t expect this to be done so quick, which happened” he was waiting just like I was “tell me before you go” walking off to Mel, I need to tell her the details now.

Looking over at Rakim with my brother “so! Spill the details” Mel hit my shoulder lightly “uhm, it went really well. It was weird, so I said I need to speak to you, and he was fine with it. I just said I am unhappy, and the flood gates opened, he admitted to the fact that we are better as friends. He seen us slipping slowly into something we both dislikes, the bed situation, he felt that he needed to stop this before it turned into something worse that we can’t come back from, he wants to keep the friendship because we are good as friends, and I am so happy. He said I want to be a man about things, and we are better off as that” Mel is shook “no way? That is amazing, he is really being a man about things then, chile. Here is me thinking he would be protesting about the shit, but he really doesn’t want to lose that friendship and I don’t blame him, you are a good friend. Well how does it feel baby? You got freedom, you’re a single woman” I shrugged “I mean it doesn’t feel any different, I don’t feel anything different because I didn’t feel anything for him, I am glad he was a man about it because this could have been way messier then it could have been” I have to count my blessings, this could have turned into something malicious.

Rakim is sweet, he bought me a chain “you didn’t have too, I mean I am saying this, but I also got you a chain. Not as good as yours but open it when you get home” holding the box out “I was thinking, shall we just break the news ourselves? I mean are you ok with me posting about it?” I asked, I don’t want to do it behind his back “sure, you better see me when you come to New York” he opened his arms to me, hugging him “I will, I feel so much better. I feel a better connection to you now” I admitted “same, we just two fools. And also Roc Nation mentioned it, we tried I guess” moving back from the hug “have a safe flight, text me to let me know” I pointed, he winked at me as he walked off. He is a good friend, and I do prefer that. Turning around to go back into the home “you ruin everything” Rajad spat, he is so stupid “be quiet, then why don’t you date him” closing the door behind me “we are still friends, he is like family so be quiet. Getting all worked up over an ex now” brothers are annoying.

I am going through deleting picture of us, I want it done and gone already, I also need to find a cute picture to post of us and I got it, I found one. This is when we were in Greece, I was ok there but not the best, I wasn’t the happiest but content, but we look cute. That is because I took the selfie, let me post this. Tapping on Instagram and then the plus sign, scrolling to find the picture which I did straight and tapping on that picture. Adding a caption to the post ‘Sometimes people are better off as friends and in this case, that is us. Greece is where it started, Barbados is where it ended but it ended with love’ pressing send on the post, I rather it came from me because speculation is a bitch, I don’t want people assuming I am doing this and I am cheating so it is better off I just announce it, and there we have, I am single and I do not feel bad about having sex with another man now, I am free to do what I please now. Drop down appeared, Twin has text me that quick, does he have my notifications on.

Twin:

You don’t play ! 😳😳😳

Robyn:

Something that needed to be done, it’s done now 🤷🏾‍♀️

Twin:

Single so you don’t need to be shy with the nudes?

Robyn:

Goodnight ….. FRIEND!

[gayedmundo]

a missing eddie scene from it chapter two

One moment Richie was right next to him, running through the tunnels and towards whatever the next horror this stupid clown had waiting for them, and the next moment he was alone.

His surroundings are new. When he looks behind him, he can still see the tunnels that they had been running through, but then it transitions into a room. It’s still dark and ominous, but significantly less cave-like. The only way out is to go back the way he came. He doesn’t see any separate path that Richie could’ve taken to explain his absence.

“Richie?” He yells out, hesitantly, “Richie, man, where did you go? This is so not the time to fuck around, asshole. If you’re planning to jump out at me, I will stab you with this fence post, I hope you know that.”

Suddenly a familiar voice comes from the dark behind him, making him jump.

“Oh, Eddie, there you are!”

It’s his wife. She’s shivering and drenched in water and dressed far too nicely for a walk through the sewers.

“Myra? What are you- what are you doing here?” He figures it must be a trap. This is what It does, he knows that. But still... she looks so real.

“I’m here to help you, Eddie. You just ran out on me without an explanation, I was so worried about you! This is too dangerous for you, we both know that. Come with me, Eddie-bear, please. We can go home and pretend like none of this happened. If you stay, you’ll get hurt.” She’s sobbing, predictably.

He shakes his head and backs away from her, “No, you can’t be here. I- You’re not real.”

“What? Of course I am. Honey, you’re not thinking straight.” She walks closer towards him and reaches her hand out to stroke his face but he flinches away from her touch. She sobs again and puts her hand over her mouth in horror. “What are these friends of your’s putting in your head? I mean look at you, you’re covered in sewer water! You’re hurt! Eddie, that’s gonna get infected! You’re so dirty!”

He’s shaking his head and looking away, trying to convince himself that she’s not real while she speaks but he notices a change in her voice when she says the last word. The tone goes from worried and panicked to accusatory and mocking. Slowly, he looks back at her.

Except his wife is no longer there. Standing in her place is his mother, the way she looked before she got sick. Despite the fact that by the time he stopped growing, he was slightly taller than her, she seems to tower over him. He realizes that the dark room they’re standing in has taken the shape of the living room in his childhood home.

“Dirty. That’s what you are. That’s what you’ve always been. You’re friends just make it worse. Especially that Tozier boy. He’s the dirtiest of them all and I think he’s been a bad influence on you. Made you sick like him.”

“That’s not true, don’t talk about him like that that’s not true!” He’s starting to wish he hadn’t burned his inhaler.

She’s sneering at him. His mother would get like this sometimes when she was in particularly bad moods, but it was rare. She usually preferred for her methods of manipulation to be more subtle. Guilt-tripping was her favorite. But as a teenager, he started to grow used to the way she would use her tears as a weapon and some days he refused to let them work on him. That’s when she got mean. He learned that maybe the tears were the better option.

“Yes, it is, Eddie-bear! You just can’t see what he’s done to you.” She switches to her worried voice, as she so often would after she got mean. It was all because she was worried, she didn’t mean it, she always promised. He was foolish enough to believe her more times than he’s proud of.

“That’s why you need your mother to protect you, to keep you from getting sicker than you already are. You think any of those friends of yours will want to touch you when they know what sickness you actually have?”

“Shut up!” He yells out, louder than he was expecting. His heart is pounding harder than before. He wants to curl up into himself and close his eyes until she goes away, but something makes him stay strong. 

You’re braver than you think.

“Eddie... how could you talk to your mother like that? I love you and this is how you treat me? I always said you would leave me and I was right! You don’t deserve all I do for you!”

A part of him wants to apologize. He knows she’s not real but there’s still a reflex in him to stop and comfort her, assure her that he loves her too and tell her that he appreciates everything she’s done for him. And god, if that isn’t the most fucked up, backwards feeling. 

“You’re right! I don’t deserve it. I never did.” She flinches back. The sight makes him gain more confidence.

“You manipulated me, you lied to me, and I.... I didn’t deserve it! You told me I was sick, dirty, tainted, made me feel weak, and the worst thing about it is that I believed you! But the truth is, I’m not. I know I’m capable of being brave.”

With every word, he feels like a weight he didn’t even know existed was being lifted off of his chest. He never got to say all of this to her before she died, he never even let himself think it most days, and he felt guilty when he did. But getting to say it now felt freeing, whether she was real or not.

“Eddie, please-“

“No, you’ve said enough. I loved you, Ma, I did. In your weird, fucked up way, I know you loved me too and maybe you genuinely did think you were doing what was right for me. But I’m so, so tired of your voice controlling how I think of myself. I’m tired of hearing your voice in my wife’s mouth! I’m tired of feeling like who I am, who I really am, is wrong because of the shit you told me as a kid. I’m tired of the look you would give me every time I would hang out with Richie. I’m tired of my skin crawling when I stare at him for too long. I’m tired of feeling like I need to take a shower after touching his skin. I’m tired of the guilt I feel when I realize I want to touch him again anyway. So I’m not gonna let you control me from the grave and I’m not gonna run from myself anymore, I’m gay!”

He pauses for a moment, taking in what he just admitted. What he had barely been able to admit to himself before.

“Holy shit. I’m gay. Yeah.” And then he laughs. It’s a little hysterical, but more than anything he feels relieved. He said it. He’s gay, and that doesn’t make him sick.

But then his mother’s frown turns into a wicked smile, and when she bares her teeth, they’re sharp. Her features slowly become more horrific, and he watches in terror until she, or It, lunges at him.

His body reacts before his mind and the next thing he knows, he’s yanking the fence post out of the chest of the nightmare version of his mother. The room changes back to the damp tunnel walls. It stumbles back and then vanishes down one of the other tunnels.

He stands there alone for another moment to process what just happened. Despite everything, he smiles to himself. What does it say about you if facing off with a shape-shifting demon could be one of the most cathartic moments of your life?

Snapping back to himself, he grips onto the fence post again and heads in the other direction to find Richie again. Which reminds him, he still has one other important thing he needs to get off his chest. But first, it’s time to kill that fucking clown once and for all.

[cyberdva]

Lost Grieving- Richie Tozier X Reader {Chapter 2☆}

 ☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

Summary- The reader gets stuck in strange implications and finds herself in Derry, Maine, the location of the infamous Steven King book ‘IT’. Unknowingly she stumbles across the Neibolt House, the dirty and burnt remains of a tragic fire. She remembers what horrors had happened and is hesitant to stay. What will happen when she runs into the one and only Losers Club? What will they do if the strange new girl claiming to be from another universe, tells them they’re all made up characters from a book? Will she help them ‘defeat’ the morbid Pennywise or give up and be lost in perishable hell forever, filled with lost grieving. Proceed with caution when you drive into this tale of horror, humor, and a handful of twisted romance with Richie ‘Trashmouth’ Tozier.

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

Main Masterlist

IT Masterlist

Prologue

Chapter 1 

Chapter 2 (+)

Word Count: 2k

Date Uploaded: 11/05/19

A/N: Sorry for the long wait, I have so many ideas for headcannons and imagines that I’ve been just spitballing them out. I apologize for that, but anyways enjoy the new chapter! Send in any requests or ideas for the story, I’m in the mood for writing and I’m off for the rest of the week.

Warnings and Notes: Cursing and Excerpts from Stephen King’s IT Novel

 ☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

“Are you ok?” Eddie began to slow down, we ran as fast as we could. I felt bad for him, he has no idea what was going on. At least I had a basic understanding. He was really pale and it looked as if he could barely breathe. Oh, he has asthma! Wouldn’t he already have his inhaler out or something?

“Yeah, I’m fine. You’re really pale, are you going to faint?

“I think so, but I’m more concerned with the fact that you aren’t freaking out about that clown!” He spat out. I couldn’t make out what he was saying. Eddie spoke at the speed of light, no one ever understood him. I had a pit in my stomach, it pulsed whenever I thought of It. I want to go home.

I looked down, trying to piece together what to say, “Oh I’m terrified, I really think I’m dreaming.” The boy went shuffling through his red fanny pack.

“Why would you be dreaming? I’m not dreaming?

I sighed, “It’s a long story,” and I’ll have time to tell it to him when it comes.

“I think I’m going to throw up.” Eddie sputtered his body spurred to the side of the road, his hands covered his face. I awkwardly stood in front of him as my own nausea came up to battle. I collapsed next to him and we said nothing to each other.

“We need to find Bill.” he huffed. It looked as if his small body caved in on itself.

Bill Denbrough. He was their ‘leader’ or that’s how he was perceived in the books. I never really liked his character, but I felt horrible for what happened with Georgie. I felt bad for all of them. Their lives got swept away by that clown and the poster-child victim of this is sitting right next to me. I really hope this is a dream, what if I don’t go home? There’s no way I could be a foster child, that system is still fucked in the present. I can’t imagine what it could be like here.

“Where does he live?” I had no clue on what I was supposed to do, I’m not even relevant in this plot. What I do know is that I have to get a panicked Eddie over his friend’s house.

“Two streets down. Will you come with me, please? I don’t want to get killed by that clown. I lost my inhaler and my mom is going to freak.” his breathing became rigid. It was catching up with the pace of his talking, which was quite fast. His panting swallowed up all his words. In the story his medicine was fake. Now I was in a conundrum. 

Do I tell him or not? It was such a turning point for him, even though he relapsed later on in his life, I think. 

“Hey just breathe.” I almost patted his back, but my hand just wavered above him. Eddie tried to hack out a sarcastic reply. His fear got the best of him.

“Oh my gosh, please Eddie just breathe. I don’t care about your inhaler. We’ll get one at Bill’s or something.” He gasped for a gulp of air and shook. After a couple more times his lungs settled and sat in shock.

“How did that work? That never worked without my inhaler! Are you a witch or something?” Eddie wanted to do nothing but run as fast as he could away from that stranger that he found at a crack house. His mother always told him he was sick, he was. What just happened was physically impossible. ‘What if she was working for that clown?’, he thought. “She might not even be real for god’s sake!” Eddie couldn’t think straight. 

I was beginning to think I was a witch, there is no physical way I could be here. I had next to none proof that I’m from the future, a different dimension at that. Except for my backpack. I always had sections for unused papers, a bigger chunk for History and English work. There were just a few things that fell through from my desk, but not much. Bingo. My old History article about Democratic and Republican debates. Photos, photos of the President. I did have proof! I just need the right time to bring it up. 

“I dunno, my friend has asthma and that works for her.” Lies, I knew that would never work. Eddie would have to be a fool to ever believe that.

“Where are you from? I never heard of that treatment before, especially not from any doctor,”

“Nevermind that, we need to get going.” Nice playoff Y/N. We both headed down the small sidewalk in the brisk afternoon. As we passed the broken down Derry Trainyard the faint scream of a teenage boy filled the surrounding forest. My dress began to hike up my legs and clump by my backpack. Minutes went by when we walked down the unfamiliar streets. 

Another deep screech was released, “What the hell was that?” I jumped after it was quiet, our eyes darted around. No one could be seen as the echo still remained. A groomed bush next to us started to shake unnaturally. 

“What the fu-” Eddie stumbled back, like a baby learning their first steps. The greenery was torn to its sides by a lengthy boy. The pale thing launched at Eddie and almost stomped right on his arm.

“Hi-ya Eds! Didn’t know your mom let you hang out with girls, especially pretty ones.” He grabbed Eddie’s hand and pulled him to his feet. The boys stood head to torso. The height difference was kind of funny. Who even is that kid? I think he’s part of the club. Eddie seems to know him.

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

Richard Tozier turns off the radio, which has been blaring out Madonna’s “Like a Virgin” on WZON (a station which declares itself to be “Bangor’s AM Stereo rocker! With a kind of hysterical frequency), pulls over to the side of the road, shuts down the engine of the Mustang the Avis people rented him at Bangor International, and gets out. He hears the pull and release of his own breath in his ears. He has seen a sign which has caused the flesh of his back to break out in the hard ridges of gooseflesh.

He walks to the front of the car and puts on hand on its hood. He hears the engine ticking softly to itself as it cools. He hears a jay scream briefly and then shut up. There are crickets. And as far as the soundtrack goes, that’s it.

He has seen the sign, he passes it, and suddenly he is in Derry again. After twenty-five years Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier has come home.

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

“Bonjour Mademoiselle, I’m Richie!” he bowed.

Oh.”What the fuck is wrong with him?” I choked. Eddie stifled a laugh.  

“Many things,” he replied. “Anyways, I haven’t seen you around here before. Are you new? Or like a homeschool?”

‘A homeschool’, isn’t he supposed to be smart or something? I’m starting to remember him. Richie was the jokester and my personal favorite character. This oughta be fun!

“I don’t know where I am.” After ages, I pushed down my dress in an attempt at a good impression.

“What do you mean?”

“I woke up underneath the welcome sign and found that broken-down house.”

The two stared at me, ”No, but seriously where are you from?”

“I’m telling the truth! Wait… I have proof!” I seized my bag and heaved it open. Small folders with homework were inside, along with other items that made it through with me. 

I grabbed the green History folder filled with stray Newsela articles about Politicians and the President. I pulled one out about a Democratic and Republican debate. A bright picture of all the candidates with a date from September 2019 slapped right under the headline.

“Here this is from my school, in 2019.” It was the least believable thing I have ever said in my life. I internally cringed and just tossed the papers, along with the folder for good measure. If that doesn’t convince them I don’t know what will, even better, I got a watch. Not just any watch, one of the fancy ones with apps and music stuffed all into one. It’s perfectly packed right into my bag’s front pouch.

“What does the photo represent?” Eddie asked, he pointed to the red and blue stage and Richie glanced at the article about Donald Trump.

“It’s a debate abou-”

Richie jumped in, ”Why is orange?”

“I don’t know.”

“There has to be a reason for it.”

“Shut up Richie.”

“You shut up Eddie. Who cares, I want to figure out who she is.”

“Guys, come on.”

A car came jolting down the street. The driver… wasn’t there. All that was in the windshield was a blood-red balloon, not a person in sight. I screamed along with Eddie, Richie didn’t have any reaction. Richie snatched back my folder and scooted onto the pavement.

I couldn’t bring myself to move, I’m not part of this story, yet I can’t leave. Frail arms yanked me away just as the car whisked past. A crunch was all that was left of the vehicle, it disappeared in a flash. The remains of my crushed green backpack drew me to tears.  

“Holy shit my watch is broken!” I sobbed. My last figment of proof.

Eddie flung his hands, “Is no one going to say ANYTHING about the car!?”

“We need to go find Bill.” 

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

[sometimesrosy]

Anonymous said:6x04 B/E scene was soft and I still dunno how Bellarkes made it about Clarke. I don't think he was jealous about Clarke/Cillian either. Maybe he really was thinking about Octavia like he said. He was sad about Marper and Octavia and he took it out on Echo. They were soft and intimate and even though I don't like Echo I had to admit that rl was still real. Solid even. I don't really see it changing and I made my peace with it. I recommend the last standing Bellarkes the same too.

Fuckity fuck off.

No one asked for your recommendations.

Ship and let ship

Do you UNDERSTAND what that means? It means mind your own business, don’t keep someone’s fandom, and let people enjoy what they enjoy because it has nothing to do with you.

What I don’t understand is how parts of this fandom can ignore the story... that went from Bellarke forgiveness “you’re too important to me” to Bellamy STARING at Clarke (if you say he wasn’t you’re ignoring that it kept cutting back and forth between Clarke and Cillian and Bellamy WATCHING Them.) Echo arriving and him accusing her of not having feelings or reactions (which his DIRECTLY contrasting to Clarke’s begging for forgiveness in the last scene and ENJOYING LIFE in this one.) Then we lead to the cillian/clarke love scene which ends with a betrayal, a conspiracy, an attack, clarke being paralyzed, then Cillian dying. THEN we go back to B/E where E confesses her past and is human again and Bellamy apologizes and says he’s committing to the present not the past, which references her family, but ALSO his feelings for Clarke, which was just the focus of the last couple of scenes. After this we see Clarke being murdered.

Bellamy was sad about Marper and Octavia. Had JUST had an intimate, forgiving moment with Clarke, had JUST watched her be sexual with someone else, which he’s never scene and was STILL staring at her when he talked to his girlfriend about not being emotional enough. That you think Clarke had nothing to do with that scene is ridiculous.

 If you say he wasn’t jealous, that’s an interpretation and you’re welcome to it, but you’re not welcome to say my interpretation is wrong.

If you say it wasn’t about Clarke, then you’re making a REALLY bad misinterpretation. THe b/e scene was SURROUNDED by Bellarke and Clarke. It started with Clarke being beautiful and Bellamy staring, it was interrupted with Clarke living her life and being sexual and being betrayed and it was closed out by Clarke’s horrific murder.

The b/e part of the scene WAS tender. It was loving. Bellamy loves Echo. But I say that by season7, we’ll find out that while he loves Echo, he’s IN LOVE with Clarke. Bellamy cares a lot about Echo and he is not a dog. He is in a committed relationship with her and she opened up to him about her life. He was SORRY for what he said to her because he was a dick. 

But remember also, she did NOT tell him about her parents in 3 years of friendship on that ship. And however long they were together. Remember ALSO that she is STILL hiding her true identity.

With the understanding that she is STILL keeping secrets from him about her very identity, this is NOT as intimate scene as it appears. He does NOT know who she is. 

If you think EVERYTHING about that scene was separate from Clarke and Bellarke and Bellamy’s feelings for Clarke you are IGNORING the canon story.

You cannot take a scene, erase the story it is set in, stitch it back together like some sort of Frakenstein monster made of bits and pieces and STILL think you’re following the story. 

What I am looking at is the ENTIRE sequence of scenes and how they interact. Do you want to know WHY?

Because a story is not made by disconnected scenes. It is CONSTRUCTED by putting together RELATED scenes that are telling a story. So when I analyze a story, I am asking myself, “How does this connect to that? What is the STORY being told by putting these scenes together. Where does this scene want me to go when taken in conjunction with the other? What are the contrasts and comparisons I can make between the scenes? What are the themes being expressed in these scenes?”

What I read here is: Clarke is trying to make amends for her sins back on earth. She opens up to Bellamy and how much she cares for him and he is compelled by her confession to, if not SAY he forgives her, then to at least get closer to doing so, and he hugs her as he has her back. But he doesn’t have her back. He has a girlfriend and she, looking more beautiful than he’s ever seen her, is dancing with a hot doctor. Lo and behold, in comes the girlfriend, and he’s mad at her for not being like Clarke who feels things and opens up about her feelings. So he yells at her like a jerk. Meanwhile, he doesn’t know but we do, that the hookup was really a set up, and Clarke is in danger. Clarke who is so important to him. (LATER we’ll find out that he regrets not protecting her, that means from this, that means from Cillian.) BUT we’ve got the B/E scene which shows that Bellamy is, yes, letting go of Clarke (the past) to move on with Echo.

This would inDEED be a sign that B/E was solid and not going anywhere, if the rest of the story, turned AWAY from b/e as a couple and had Bellamy giving ALL his attention to Clarke. First on his grief over her loss. Which he experiences ALONE. This is in DIRECT opposition to what he told her he did when people he loved died (which was the convo right before Clarke died) and in direct opposition to what he told her to do, which was open up about her feelings, and in direct opposition of what he said, when he said he was forgetting the past and moving on. 

Because he DID NOT forget the past. HE did NOT forget Clarke. He did NOT move on. 

In fact, later on, he straight up left Echo to her near death, and left to go save Clarke.

So, if you take the scene where Echo finally tells him about her parents, which she lied about, without telling him about Ash, who she is, and his apologies for being a jerk, and the tenderness and commitment to moving on as a couple, as a scene all by itself without any of the surrounding story, well, yeah. You could think they were good and happy and heading for an endgame.

But to do that, you’d need to IGNORE the story with the Bellarke reunion, forgiveness, Clarke’s death, Bellamy’s quest to save her life and the rest of the season. 

If you just base your interpretation on “no he’s not jealous,” you’ve got no evidence that he’s not jealous except for “no he’s not.”

But I don’t know why I bother. You’lll ignore everything I say because you think I’m a clown. Or whatever.

Maybe I am a clown, but I’m a clown with 30 years of education, 15 years of teaching. 35 years of writing experience. I am one educated clown. I am professor clown and you can honk my red nose. I’m gonna keep on clowning as much as I want.

Keep your “no he’s nots” and apologize to EVERYONE you ever told was delusional and to give up on bellarke when this season is over. 

If I’m wrong, I have no one to apologize to, because I was just minding my own business enjoying my favorite show and ship. If you’re wrong, you have been sending nasty anons and butting into people’s ships, and trying to ruin their fun, and YOU’D BETTER APOLOGIZE.

In fact, you should apologize NOW for doing that. Because how the show ends up has NOTHING to do with your bad behavior. Even if you ARE right, which I doubt, you should STILL apologize, because what a person ships is not ANY of your goddamn business. 

[astarlightmonbebe]

i'm literally about to spam your inbox and i am so sorry i just have a lot to say and no one else to talk about dramas with lol i tried to cut it down as much as possible but it's still a lot please don't hate me

dude, i could never hate you!! i was really excited to see my inbox so full lol. let’s see if i can get them all into one answer haha.

omg you admire my dedication……. an angel thank you so much!! when i get into a show that i like i make sure to watch at least one episode a day, i don’t know why it’s just how my brain works and i thought it was dumb but apparently i’m just dedicated :D if you really want to, why not watch it a second time around!! you might catch some stuff you didn't the first time!! it might be smart to wait to rewatch until we're closer to season two so everything is fresh in your mind!! (1/9)

that’s actually a really solid way to go about things, and i’m glad it works out like that for you. i already told you i’m a hare brain when it comes to this stuff - i’ll rewatch shows i haven’t even finished lol, and i rewatch shows i’ve finished in sporadic bits because they’re comforting (i did that a lot during quarantine). i want to rewatch, but i want to time it right, you know? like during a time i can afford to get immersed in it, maybe after i’ve finished some shows that i should finish (i need to make a list for the summer...). also, i heard the release date for season 2 got pushed back to 2022 instead of 2021 because of covid...i don’t know if that’s confirmed though.

!!spoilers for the arthdal chronicles incoming!! my feelings for the characters in arthdal have literally changed so much. in one moment i’ll admire a character and then absolutely hate them the next and it’s a lot of fun LOL despite that my feelings have never changed for eunseom! i’ve always admired him and i have a lot of faith in him and he’s just such a good person! (2/9)

i know, it’s like a normal kdrama but it really feels like you’ve watched 3 kdramas in one, because of length and how much happens. eunseom is everyone’s no 1 boy, honestly. he never did anything wrong *insert that meme, or whatever*. 

that being said, i’m still a little scared of him being inaishingi and basically ruling the entirety of the ago tribe because as we’ve learned from the show, being in a position of power corrupts you, no matter what your intentions are so i’m a lil nervous but then i also remember that eunseom is eunseom so i’m worried for nothing lol (3/9)

(side note but i’ll be talking about this from memory and it’s been like 10 months SO) but even though he’s like a god, he’s not actually a god, not yet. and eunseom at his core is good - that being said, i know what you mean; honestly haven’t thought about that. i’m more scared that he won’t know how to lead, or that he’s not exactly equipped to lead a rebellion - more like i’m worried he might act in his own self interest instead of for all of ago, if you know what i mean? because he’s leading this whole group he’s not actually a part of.

i also like dalsae, xabara, tanya, chaeuun and the neanthals!!! i have so much to say about the neanthals omg i really wish we saw more of them but i also understand why we don’t. they’ve almost been completely wiped out of existence so they don’t really get involved with anything which i completely understand, i just wish!!!! that when rottip met eunseom that he would’ve said or done something. i waited all season for that moment, waiting for it to maybe happen and rottip just walked away (4/9

i understand why but :/ ipsaeng is kind of a bastard but i still like him a lil bit. i also really like mubaek and yangcha even though they’re like. bad guys and members of the daekan forces (5/9)

one moment, i have to go remind myself who dalsae is...and oh, right, i do like him a lot! ipsaeng is pretty funny himself. and yes!!! the females in this show were awesome, especially xabara and chaeun and nunbyeol (tanya and taelha get their own category). yes!! when rottip and eunseom met, i really thought he would matter more to them, but i kind of understand why it went down like that...i think the other (hot) neanthal reminded rottip that they couldn’t really connect? ah, it was something like that. i had complicated feelings about it as well, but i hope that they’ll meet again in season 2 (and i hope nunbyeol wrecks arth with her sword, i remember when we first saw her fight with a sword in neanthal form; i was s c r e a m i n g).

mubaek is good, but also annoying. he knows this, but he’s complicit in all the evil actions going on. like, man, if you know that much,  you should use it to do something. knowledge is power! but he preferred to be sidelined and not do anything. yangcha is so hot...seriously, but i think he’s so interesting. the fandom needs to know why he has a mask on, there’s so many theories. i love how tanya could read his thoughts, but we still didn’t get many of them, but i think it shows how he’ll be more of a main character (hopefully) in season 2.

i know you asked for characters i like but i can’t help but mention the one character that i absolutely DESPISE. like saying i despise him doesn’t even truly explain my feelings for him (6/9)

I CANNOT STAND MUNGTAE he’s literal scum i hate him so much…. the fact that he betrayed eunseom and dalsae when they were literally coming to rescue him!! OH MY GOD and then everything that happened with teodae and eunseom having to see it and being traumatized by it………. i hate mungtae and i wish i wish he would face the actions of his consequences but there is no justice in arthdal so he will most likely get away scot free (7/9)

MUNGTAE CAN PERISH. he needed to have died in episode 1 seriously. it’s fine if you’re a coward, but not a snitch...everyone’s afraid, but at least they have a concept of loyalty. omg...teodae, the fact that eunseom got so traumatized by that made me want to sob. imagine you have a friend who you want to help save, but such friend loves their mind because of the situation they’re in and begins to believe the lies about you, tries to kill you, and then kills themselves in front of you...every episode of this show should have been titled: eunseom is wrecked and traumatized. again. part xx.

honestly, my hope is that tanya or eunseom straight up murders him. or dalsae. he can’t survive season 2, not on my watch.

a lot of people were complaining about the ending being vague or just not good in general, but i thought it was the perfect ending! the ending was relatively lackluster in the sense that nothing too crazy took place and what’s gonna happen next season was laid out relatively clear? i mean tagon wants to conquer the east and made a point to mention the ago tribe so i think we’re going see like eunseom’s return (?) as in he’s gonna actively become a problem for those in power in arth again (8/9)

i didn’t actually know people were saying that, because i thought the ending was so good. in my opinion, the whole finale of it serves to do two things which are a) tie up loose ends for season one and b) establish the continuation needed for season 2. arth was always going to continue, but it also builds suspense for season 2: there’s going to be a war, but tanya and eunseom are on different sides. saya knows he has a twin. AND there’s that awful women spy...she can perish as well. us clowns watching the show for the first time really thought we were going to get an eunseom and tanya reunion...we were played.

i’ve mainly watched like movies or variety shows for idols that i like but for some reason i never really got into kdramas until like right now. i’ve only seen 4 in total LOL but i’ve liked all of the shows that i’ve watched so i can’t complain. i’ve seen hello monster, arthdal, prison playbook and chocolate! (9/9)

oh, seriously? that’s amazing! i’ve watched 3/4, and right now i’m actually skimming through chocolate - i’m not really a fan of all the melo nonsense they have going on, so i’m mostly watching it for the sibling scenes and jun’s scenes haha...

and i’ve got this all in one ask, yes.