#i still want to break this show down to the bones and build it back better
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ekingston · 10 months ago
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who do you think is the main ship in sg? (for arrow its felicity x oliver, the flash being barry x iris...) does dansen count as our main ship since alex is the second main lead? or would you say the danvers sisters is technically the main and strongest pairing
oh it’s the danvers sisters all the way! i don’t think the CW’s Supergirl really has a ‘main’ romantic ship—that sort of thing wasn’t really ever their forte. Alex and Kelly could have been it, but only if the writers had actually tried to sell it; i feel their romance lacked buildup, their rapport (to me) always came across more friendly than magnetic, and Kelly was never given enough time to grow into her own person, separate from the roles she played in other people’s arcs. Azie objectively killed it, but even for a supporting character i think she was given very little to work with!
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thinkinonsense · 3 months ago
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DESIRE ୨୧
logan howlett x mutant!reader
cw: flirty, slightly nsfw
a/n: this was heavily inspired by that scene in the first suicide squad movie where they introduce harley quinn.
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"we should all split up before someone finds us." storm tells her team mates as the break into the building.
inside were mutants of all kinds, being hidden and tested on. it was charles plan for the team to get as many as possible and bring them back to the mansion before they can cause any damage.
on the surface, it seemed simple enough. they have done this mission a million times. little did they know that an unspeakable danger awaited them in the basement of the old building.
everyone split up, storm went to the west wing while scott and jean went to the east. logan found his way downstairs, assuming that maybe he could find whoever was running the show here.
beyond the high security metal doors, he can hear the faint sound of an old record playing. the closer he got, the clearer it sounded. nancy sinatra? maybe? logan wasn't quite sure but he figured it was a trap so, he prepared himself for whatever was on the other side.
Way down along the stream
How sweet it will seem
Once more just to dream
In the moonlight
My honey, I know (I know) with the dawn
That you will be gone
But tonight
You belong to me
revealed on the other side is a large metal cage fit for a wild animal. inside was a girl swinging upside down from a line of tied material with her body in an obscene position.
"i've told you before, david..." your voice was angelic to logan's ears. light as a feather. "i don't like to be disturbed after 7."
"i'm not david, princess." logan said, stepping out of the shadows right as your eyes open.
logan's eyes scan over your scandalous appearance. tiny dirty white shorts and matching tight tank top, apparently whoever runs this prison doesn't allow bras either. you twirl down from near the top of the cage until your face to face with the man on the other side.
"who are you, then?" you ask, looking up at him as you hold onto the bars.
"i'm here to get you out of this cage." he says, unleashing his claws, ready to cut through the bars.
"hold it, baby." you purr, reaching out to touch his sharp claws. "don't you wanna play with me?"
"no, we need to leave."
"why should i leave with you? how do i know that you won't put me in another cage?"
even with a slightly dirty face, rings of lavender circles under your eyes, and dried blood on the corner of your bottom lip, logan still thought you were gorgeous. slightly intimidated by your fearlessness to reach out and touch his claws. he imagines that you had seen worse than this.
"tryin' to save you" he grunts.
"i wouldn't picture you as the prince charming type." you giggle, running your fingers up his hairy, veiny, strong arm over the black latex suit.
"i'm not."
logan glares down at you in a way that makes you want to jump his bones. what? it gets lonely being trapped in a cage all by yourself. plus it's not everyday that a handsome stranger wants to help you escape.
suddenly, you grab logan's palm, circling it as your eyes roll back to a dark green shade.
"tell me what you want to do with me." you demand.
this was the moment logan understood why you were held in a cage down in the basement. suddenly, logan's mind feels as if it's being bended and twisting, forcing every ounce of truth out of him.
"we are here to take the mutants to charles xavier's school for gifted youngsters." his voice sounded robotic under your spell.
"charles xavier?"
in a rush of excitement, you release logan from your threshold. he wants to bark at you for invading his mind but seeing you smile made him reconsider.
"so, you've heard of him?" logan raises a brow at you, watching as you hold his hand sweetly.
"of course i have." you answer tracing shapes on the back of his palm. "i've seen him in my visions. been waitin' on him."
visions? what kind of mutant are you? logan asked himself as you spoke.
"too bad i didn't see you in them, though." you sigh, batting your long lashes at him. "wish i had. could've bought us some time to... well, you know."
the teasing flirty tone made logan's cock stir under the tight latex. he felt this overwhelming desire for you fill his head.
"hm... we should focus on getting you out of here first, huh, princess?" he tilts his head to the side, amused by you. "step back."
you obey, walking backwards near your rope. in the blink of an eye, logan cuts through the bars and bends them out enough for him to help you get out. loud flashing sirens go off, slightly startling the two of you.
"guards." you warn him. "they're coming."
logan turns around, claws bare to anyone coming towards the two of you. he steps in front of you, ready to protect like a guard dog. it was quite cute of him, you think. the moment the guards burst in, logan starts attacking, stabbing them ruthlessly.
you allow him to take out a few one by one but as more poured in, you stepped in. your eyes roll back into the same shade of green as a hand raises, some of them fall to their hand and knees, shifting into dogs others were being strangled until they looked blue in the face.
logan couldn't believe it. the only mutant that he thought could rivaled your powers was jean. the room fell quiet except for the record echoing as it replayed.
"it's my favorite song, you know?" you grin as if nothing happened.
"old soul, huh?" logan asked with an eyebrow raised.
"witches are timeless, sugar." you wink, extending your hand for him to take.
logan hesitates but knows he has to get the two of you out of here alive. one look into your starry eyes and he's a goner. logan takes your hand and leads you to the jet, knowing he will never hear the end of it from his teammates.
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sarastial · 23 days ago
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bus crush
ellie williams x reader
summary: your heavenly perfume catches ellie’s attention on the bus, and she can’t help but stare.
(university! ellie; implied femme reader)
a/n: i’ve been writing for years and this is my first published fic ever lol .. kinda nervy but i hope you enjoy it!
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Ellie Williams was drenched when she finally got on the bus that drove to and from the student housing complexes — drenched and shivering and exhausted. She had been on campus attending her back-to-back lectures all day (Tuesdays were her worst days) without so much as a thirty minute break between classes, and was beat by the time she got to the bus stop. It didn’t help that it was the peak of December, just before finals and winter break. That meant bone-rattling storms that almost shook the shitty old university buildings — which were definitely in need of some TLC, by the way — and Ellie’s overused umbrella getting fucked up with the rain and wind beating it down.
She closes said umbrella as she steps further into the bus, attempting to shake off as much water as she can from its tattered waterproof fabric before glancing up to scan for a seat.
Just my luck, Ellie thinks to herself with an internal sigh, finding every possible seat occupied by one of her equally drenched, shivering peers. She moves over to the side of the bus where there were already a couple of students standing and holding onto the cloth handles hanging from the roof of the vehicle. Ellie opts to squeeze the handrail instead, waiting for the bus to start moving. A few stragglers come in, and the bus finally departs from the station.
Someone moves to stand between Ellie and another student, cramping up the already tight space. Ellie’s about to scowl in the student’s direction when the scent of vanilla and cinnamon hits her nose.
Holy shit, she blinks, inhaling as deeply as she can without looking odd and/or slightly off-putting, Someone smells like a damn bakery.
She dares to spare a darting glance sideways at the person standing next to her … then a second, then a third. There was no doubt in Ellie’s mind that the girl who stood there, leaning into the condensation-riddled window of the bus and gazing down at the small, tattered paperback book in her hands with her old-school wired earbuds in, was the person who smelled so divine. She looked just like she smelled, nice and warm and pretty and yummy and —
Ellie inhales sharply, looking away and biting the inside of her cheek. Her hand comes up to tuck a loose, damp strand of her choppy, auburn hair behind her ear, gaze trained on the view outside through the foggy glass bus door that was right across from where she stood. The sight of the rain pouring down onto the dark, dampened streets of her little college town distracts her for a while. She waits for a few moments before stealing a longer glance at the girl and taking her in — from her long, perfectly manicured fingernails and mixture of dainty and chunky rings to the bootcut jeans she wore that somehow managed to hug her in all the right places.
Ellie feels a bit intimidated by how put-together the girl looks, by how different the two of them are appearance-wise. Her own nails are short and blunt from her nervous habit of chewing on them, and her clothes are baggy — wide legged jeans that are soaked at the bottom hems from walking through puddles all day and a zip-up hoodie with rolled up sleeves to show off her sick new tattoo. But Ellie really, really, really wanted to talk to the girl. She wanted to ask her about what she was reading, about what she was listening to, about what perfume she was wearing and about how the hell she managed to look so pretty after being out in a rainstorm.
She’s definitely straight, Ellie deflates slightly, pressing her teeth into her chapped bottom lip and furrowing her eyebrows, deep in thought.
Ellie doesn’t even realize that she’s still staring at the pretty, nice smelling girl until she’s met with a pair of eyes and a small, confused smile. She freezes up, enthralled by the new angle of the girl’s face.
She’s looking at you …
She’s looking at you! Look away, dumbass!
Ellie clears her throat and whips her head back to face the door of the bus in front of her, blinking fervently and internally cursing herself as she tries to play off her staring. It’s too late, for sure. She’s already made herself look like a creep, watching the girl while she minded her own business.
Damn it. Way to play it cool.. She squeezes the handrail a little tighter as the bus turns, trying her best not to sway in the girl’s direction as the vehicle lurches sideways. She didn’t want to draw any more attention to herself.
Ellie’s internally pouring over that slightest, faintest smile that the girl had given her when a voice breaks through her thoughts, soft and mellow.
“I like your tattoo.”
Ellie’s mind doesn’t even have the time to process the fact that it’s her, it’s the girl, and that she’s talking to Ellie and she’s complimenting Ellie and that Ellie should reply and say something and —
She turns her head a little too quickly, gaze flickering over to the girl at her side. Sure enough, she’s smiling again. She’s waiting for a response.
“Oh, uh,” Ellie spurts, tucking that damn strand that kept spilling back into her eyes back behind her ear, “Thanks. Just got it a few weeks ago.”
She takes in the girl’s silent nod of acknowledgment, heart pounding in her ear. They just look at each other for a moment. Then, the girl slowly turns back to her book, lowering her gaze and tentatively flipping a page. Her lashes fan out against her cheeks in a way that makes Ellie sure she’s some goddess in disguise sent down to earth to bait a poor mortal like herself.
“I like your smell,” Ellie blurts before her mind catches up, watching as the girl turns back towards her with a small, amused smile forming on her face. “I mean, I like the way you smell. Like, your perfume. It’s nice.”
Ellie winces internally, wanting more than anything to kick open the emergency exit and run back to her dorm and crawl under her covers and die. But the girl laughs — she laughs — and Ellie’s scuffed up boots stay planted firmly on the floor, so she doesn’t move.
“Thank you,” the girl replies, warm gaze sweeping over Ellie’s burning, freckled face. It’s obvious that her laugh wasn’t meant to be a mean one.
Ellie feels heat gather in her face and turns to look at the handrail she’s squeezing, studying it as if it were the most interesting thing on the bus. But it wasn’t. It definitely wasn’t, not with that pretty girl standing so close to her. But she can’t find it in herself to say anything else, so she just keeps staring at the handrail until the bus comes to a screeching halt.
It’s her stop.
Ellie hesitates for a fleeting moment, wanting more than anything to ask for her name or something. Instead, she lets go of the handrail and picks up her umbrella, sparing one last look at the girl — who’s too caught up in her novel to notice — before stepping off the bus into the biting wind and pouring rain.
Unbeknownst to her, the girl peeks up from her book with a small, giddy smile to watch her go just as the bus doors close.
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jacqueline-01 · 2 months ago
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[He’s obsessed]
A.H x Y/N
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To be loved is to be truly seen and heard.
Aaron made sure of that through his quiet, thoughtful actions. From offering you an extra blanket on the plane ride back home to listening intently as you and Morgan bickered like siblings, he was always present. Though he rarely showed it, he couldn’t help but be impressed by your quick-witted comebacks to Morgan’s every remark. In his mind, you were one of the few who could stand up to his inner prosecutor, navigating his sharp, sometimes unyielding personality with ease.
Every time you caught his eye, there was a quiet connection, an unspoken understanding. He didn’t have to say anything for you to know that he was paying attention. You could feel his gaze on you during cases, the way his subtle smile would appear when you offered your perspective, no matter how small. It wasn’t loud or brash, but it was there — a constant, steady presence that comforted you.
You, too, found yourself drawn to him in ways you couldn’t explain. It wasn’t just the way he led the team with calm authority, or how he could read people in a single glance. It was his silence, the way he carried a quiet strength, the way he never asked for anything in return. He made you feel seen, truly seen, in a world where most people overlooked the small, tender moments that meant everything.
There were moments you caught him staring at you when he thought you weren’t looking, and in those moments, your heart would race. He was a man of few words, but those fleeting moments of eye contact spoke volumes. He didn’t need to say “I love you” because you already knew. You could feel it in the way he would adjust the collar of your jacket on a chilly morning, or the small, comforting touches during stressful moments.
As the weeks passed, the air between you shifted. It was subtle, unspoken — but it was there. The way his hand lingered just a little too long when passing you a file, the soft smiles he gave you when no one was looking, the way his voice softened whenever he addressed you. The tension was building, and you could feel it in your bones. But neither of you dared to break the silence.
One night, after a particularly grueling case, you both found yourselves at the same bar, unwinding with a drink. The dim lighting, the hum of quiet conversation around you, and the warmth of the moment made everything feel just a little more intimate.
The evening was quiet, the weight of the day’s case still lingering between you. You sat at the bar, nursing your drink, the low hum of conversation in the background. Aaron had been silent the entire ride over, his usual stoic presence beside you in the car, but tonight, something felt different. There was a palpable tension in the air, something unspoken that both of you had avoided addressing.
You took a sip from your glass, trying to push away the heaviness in your chest, but the silence was too much. You wanted to know if he felt it too — the way his presence made everything seem a little brighter, the way your heart beat a little faster when his gaze lingered on you just a moment too long.
Finally, you spoke, your voice softer than you intended. “Do you ever wonder… if we’re all just pretending? Pretending that this,” you gestured between the two of you, “isn’t something more than just… whatever this is?”
Aaron’s eyes flickered to you for a brief moment, his brow furrowing slightly, as if unsure whether you were talking about the case or something more personal. He studied you for a long second, the same way he did when he was trying to read someone. But this time, it was different. He wasn’t trying to figure out the suspect — he was trying to figure you out.
“You’re not talking about the case, are you?” he asked, his voice low, almost hesitant.
You shook your head. “No. I mean… I guess I am. But not really.” You set your drink down, eyes fixed on the bar in front of you, afraid to meet his gaze. “I don’t know, Hotch. It’s like… I’ve always been aware of the way things are, but lately, everything just feels… louder.”
Aaron let out a breath, setting his drink down too, his gaze steady but intense. “Louder how?” His voice had a quiet curiosity to it, the kind that only surfaced when he was genuinely interested in someone’s perspective.
You hesitated, searching for the right words. “I guess it’s just… when we’re together, when we’re talking, it’s like I’m hearing everything, but also nothing. It’s confusing, you know?” You glanced at him then, your eyes meeting his for the first time all night. “I’ve been wondering if maybe… I’m just hearing what I want to hear.”
Aaron didn’t look away. Instead, he leaned in slightly, his eyes searching yours. “And what do you want to hear?” he asked, the question loaded with an intensity that you could feel in your chest.
Your heart beat a little faster. “I want to hear you say that you feel it too,” you admitted quietly, the words slipping out before you could stop them. “That all this silence, all these moments… they mean something.”
There was a long pause. The air between you was thick with the weight of your confession, but Aaron didn’t flinch. He didn’t retreat into his usual quiet self, the one that hid his emotions behind a mask. Instead, he leaned closer, just enough for you to feel the heat of his presence.
“I’ve felt it,” he said softly, his voice almost a whisper. “More than I’ve let myself admit.” He reached across the bar, his hand brushing against yours in a gesture so small, but it felt like a promise. “I’ve been waiting for you to see it too.”
You blinked, your breath catching in your throat. He had felt it. For how long? How long had he been waiting for you to say something? The realization hit you like a wave, crashing over everything you’d been holding back.
Before you could respond, Aaron spoke again, his voice now steadier, more certain. “I’ve been silent because I didn’t want to make this harder than it already is. But if I’m being honest with myself…” He paused, the words hanging between you. “I think we’ve both been pretending that this silence doesn’t mean something. Pretending that we don’t both want more.”
Your heart raced as you processed what he was saying. The silence that had hung between you for so long wasn’t just the absence of words — it was filled with everything that you both couldn’t say.
And then, as if all at once, the distance between you closed. Aaron’s hand found yours, and the world around you seemed to fade away. No more pretending. No more silence. Only the quiet understanding that, in that moment, everything had finally clicked into place.
Without another word, he leaned in, his lips gently meeting yours. It was a slow, tender kiss, full of everything you had both been too afraid to say. And as the kiss deepened, you realized that sometimes, it wasn’t the loud declarations of love that mattered. Sometimes, it was the quiet moments in between that spoke the loudest.
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potatomountain · 1 month ago
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CIY CH 27
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Chapter Twenty-Seven
📍Pairing: detective ateez ot8 x detective afab reader 📍Summary: "Breaking Point" 📍WC: 3.3k 📍AU: detective/mafia 📍Genre: action, dark romance, poly romance 📍Beta readers (and sole motivation): @yourfatherlucifer, @flurrys-creativity , @bunnliix, @adelusionforyourthoughts and occasionally @daemour 📍dividers by @cafekitsune banner made by me! ageless blocks will be blocked immediately if you interact with this post 📍AN: I HIGHLY recommend skipping this chapter if any of the following warnings below the cut are triggering or you are just not in a good headspace to read about a traumatizing event that befalls reader. It is not described in detail, but is described as having happened off screen. The trauma is not caused by any of the main cast, or idol representing character (i in fact refused to give him a name) masterlist | Previous | Next
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📍Warning(s): extremely dark and triggering themes such as: mentions of r@pe, torture, graphic depiction of murder of minor character. Graphic details such as blood, stabbing, and talk of explosives. Kidnapping, held hostage, a somewhat cliche mafia scene with dark twists because trauma.
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The bright lights woke the two men from their awkward slumber, Hongjoong being the first to lift his head despite a swollen eye. For three days of torture, the two of them were still pretty much in tact. It left Hongjoong feeling a bit… disappointed.
This was the feared Blood Hounds? The red chains around their necks were a give away, and with five of them it shouldn’t be too hard to cause some damage. So why were they mostly just bruises and busted skin from punches? The brass knuckles hurt something fierce, but aside from a dislocated shoulder all his bones were intact. He assumed it was the same for Seonghwa.
Twenty-four hour observation, no food or water but sleep was provided surprisingly. Probably to keep them coherent enough for the questioning.
And that was just as dull. Despite hunting them down, they knew so little. Didn’t even notice their connection to the law, or their full place in the Black Pirates. That was probably due to the Red Wolf that did the questioning. The man sat behind the lights, late thirties, early forties, and had his jacket open to expose his bare chest and the red wolf on his side. He even flaunted it often, making Hongjoong assume this man’s ego was bigger than the abandoned building they were in.
That was fine by him, it made it easier to play the game. “Let’s start from the beginning shall we? The black pirates are responsible for the hit on our territory a few weeks ago, correct?” The way the man emphasized ‘our’ just showed his pride over this situation. If Hongjoong had to guess, he was given this interrogation role as a test, most likely an ass kisser that worked his way up the ranks. A true coward under it all.
It made it hard not to mock him. “Not sure what you mean, please elaborate.” He licked some of the blood off his lip, tilting his head back and knocking it against Seonghwa to wake him up a bit more. The bright lights around them were annoying, but only really kept them awake now that they were. The man stood up and began to circle them, a little ticked off it seems with how harshly he glared. Hongjoong just yawned, seeming unaffected. Bored even. Because he was.
That just pissed off the wolf even more, throwing one of the lights to the ground in a rage as it broke and sparked out. “Three days we’ve been at this! How much longer are you going to keep playing this game?!” He shouted out, stomping over to Seonghwa and out of Hongjoong’s sight and gripping his hair.
Seonghwa spit in the man’s face. “As long as we want. Really, do you think you’re terrifying?” While he had a lot of bravado in his tone, Hongjoong could sense the underlying fear there. He knew his partner.
It had been three days and they weren’t sure if they had been out longer than a day. They had gone through scenarios like this dozens of times in case they were captured. Wooyoung could use his connection to the Pink Boas and as a freelancer to get out of his ties to the Pirates, something his mother had said she would always help with, but if it was any other member but Yeosang they had a plan.
Three days. That was the minimum needed for rescue. It gave Yeosang plenty of time to track their whereabouts, and the others to mobilize an extraction. It would have begun the moment there was an attack on the safe house. But Hongjoong knew it wasn’t for them that his partner was scared for, but he was sick with worry over you. Had you made it out? Did you go to Yeosang or did you run? What if you fought? Even Hongjoong couldn’t deny that was an option, knowing how feisty you could be. You weren’t the type to run anyways, but for once Hongjoong wished you were.
Sure their torture was pretty minimal but for you? A random woman in a Pirate safe house? Oh they wouldn’t attempt to question you, he knew that. He tried not to think about it though, tried not to let the unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach bother him. The implications that they were going easy on the torture on purpose and that it might have something to do with you. The real torture was not knowing if you were safe. The hits, starvation and dehydration were nothing. The soreness of his muscles he thought would be a nice excuse to beg you for a massage. Still, none of that compared to how he was sure Seonghwa felt.
He had watched over you since day one, first like a protective mother to see what damage you would do to his nest, then you were part of it. They wanted to make it official, maybe have you spend a few nights in their bed after all this was over.
So he knew Seonghwa didn’t care about the punch the man threw, jolting to the side as it connected with his jaw. He spit out blood onto the concrete just in Hongjoong’s view, but he kept his face stone cold. He never liked when Hwa’s pretty face got hurt.
The smug look on the man’s face was just as disgusting. “Then maybe a little bit more?” He nodded to two of the men and they left the room. There was a door opening somewhere, loud bass heavy music filtering out that hummed through the concrete under their feet. “Of what? Boredom?” Hongjoong through out with a bout of dry laughter. “I’ve had more intense fucks than this. Not even a whip or paddle or a knife? Booooring.” “Don’t give him any ideas, love, he’s already struggling with his creativity.” Seonghwa added on, finally lifting his head. “I think he might make it in a kindergarten painting class now.” 
In retaliation he grabbed Hwa by the hair again, yanking him up. Hongjoong was proud of the sinful moan Seonghwa let out, resulting in their ‘interrogator’ dropping his head and stepping back with a groan of disgust. “Seriously? Are you two getting off on this?” “Hardly. It’s not rough enough.” Seonghwa hummed out, licking his lips as he turned as if to look at Hongjoong. “You do it so much better baby.” “Ugh, gross.” 
Hongjoong had took a risk that the red wolves wouldn’t use them against each other sexually, too homophobic to do any touching or raping of sorts. He was glad that the risk was paying off.
Off in the distance they could hear the door and music again, and that feeling of dread returned. 
The wolf smirked, motioning to one of the men and pointing to the lights. Hongjoong watched with a frown as the hound turned two of their lights to the door, shining on the dark hallway just outside. A spotlight for a show.
“What? Got some fancy torture machine you’re going to bring out? Really, it’s like you want to get us off.” Despite that growing pit in his stomach, Hongjoong forced the taunt out. He wanted to wipe that disgusting smug smirk off his face the second the spotlight illuminated up the three people in the doorway.
Seonghwa’s pained gasp hurt as much as the sight of you. “Angel?” Hongjoong steeled his expression, taking in the sight of you to fuel the growing rage and bloodthirst that was building. Every cute, every drop of blood, every bruise, he would pay them back tenfold. None of that mattered compared to the mental damage they no doubt did on you, as you hadn’t even reacted to Seonghwa calling out for you. Body limp as you were dragged further into “Not so cocky now?” The wolf hummed out, making his way over to you and with each step Seonghwa and he began to thrash in their chains. “Oh you really don’t want me near her? Where do you think I am when I’m not here with you?” He slid up behind you, hand running over your exposed stomach and down. 
The way you tensed and began to shake wasn’t lost on the two men, both unable to look away from the one part of your naked body they had tried so hard to ignore. When the disgusting man cupped your bloody privates, Hongjoong let out a yell, thrashing even more against the chains. They had been loosening them slowly, but now it hadn’t been fast enough.
Not when the blindfold was removed from your eyes and the dead look in them brought tears burning behind their eyelids. Not when you wouldn’t look at them, you didn’t even seem mentally there.
“Can’t say her pussy was so good that I’d fight like this for it. Maybe her mouth if she hadn’t tried to bite off my dick. Ass far too tight…” He grabbed your mouth as he talked, smearing some of the dried blood from your lips and then thrust his hips against your back. Hongjoong knew he was taunting, just rubbing in the damage he had done to you, and it was working.
Seonghwa tried calling out for you again, desperation and pain in his tone that twisted Hongjoong’s heart further. Once more you didn’t react. “You son of a bitch let her go.” He threatened lowly, throttling hard enough the studs that kept the chair in place were beginning to break. For the briefest moments they froze, the brandishing of the knife against your throat giving them pause. You didn’t even flinch, but you trembled. The fear radiating off of you was palpable. What the fuck had he done to get you like this?
Only the beating of their hearts told them time was still passing, even their breath halted, the smug look on the wolf’s face growing by the second. He opened his mouth to taunt, but all hell broke loose before he got a word out.
The next few moments rushed by quickly, all starting with Seonghwa finally picking the chain and the metal falling loosely around them. Either because he finally got it loose, or because of who they saw just in the shadows of the bright doorway. Before the wolf had time to react, the knife was pulled out of his hand and tossed to Hongjoong who caught it easily, just as a gun was thrown to Seonghwa, thanks to Jongho rushing into the room and dislodging you from the man.
Finally, just in time, the others were here. That bit of relief had the other two men moving with confidence, fueled by their rage of what was done to you.
You fell limply against Jongho’s chest as he kicked the man right into one of the spotlights. He tripped over it, both crashing to the ground, which Hongjoong took as his opportunity to pounce on the man.
He spared no mercy as he first slit the man’s throat, just a bit shallow so he would suffer, then jabbed the knife into him over and over before he could bleed out. He kept eye contact, wanting his fury known. Even long after the body was limp beneath him he kept going, Seonghwa having effectively eliminated the blood hounds with a precise bullet to each of their skulls, leaving no enemy alive.
Only his rage. One stab for each mark on you. Each bruise. Each cut. For the number of times this disgusting being had probably violated you. For the dead look in your eyes, the way you trembled.
It was all Hongjoong could do, screaming at the dead man as if it could somehow take away the pain he inflicted on you. Seonghwa had to walk over and peel Hongjoong off of the dead body, grabbing his wrist to get him to drop the knife. They shared a look, Seonghwa shaking his head and then nudging his chin in your direction. He followed, tensing up at the sight of you huddled against Jongho’s chest, holding onto his shirt with such a death grip. 
Hongjoong knew you both still didn’t trust or like each other, so it shocked him out of his rage, the pain boiling to the surface once more. Jongho was leaning against the wall, holding you to him with both arms around your back. You were laying your cheek against his shoulder, breathing heavily and uneven but seemingly dazed. Tears had started falling down your cheeks, and Jongho looked as pained as Hongjoong was feeling. “We need to get her out of here Joongie.” Seonghwa gently prompted, rubbing his lover’s back. Despite how distraught he had been moments ago, Seonghwa sounded much more clear headed now. It helped ground Hongjoong, dropping the knife. “Where… where are the others?” Hongjoong managed to get out, still panting from the excursion of, well, murdering someone brutally. Jongho didn’t even look up from you, gaze glued to your face, following each tear that fell down your cheek. “Yunho is out front with the van, Mingi is setting up the explosives on the ground floor, San and I split up and he checked the floor below us-” He stopped as he heard music, the base vibrating through the concrete, and then it stopped. “That music was louder on the first floor, we took out the guards there when it was vibrating the place…” He trailed off when they heard screams. San’s screams.
They were screams of anguish. The three of them shared a silent look of understanding before glancing at you. He must have found the room you were kept in, aware the building was currently clear of enemies if he had entered the room to begin with. Hongjoong looked at Seonghwa with a pleading look. “He’ll need you, I won’t be calm enough.” “And I would be?” He hissed out, motioning to you just to have you flinch. It was both a good and bad sign. Good that you were still, to some extent aware of your surroundings… but that meant you were probably aware of what they just did. “Angel…” He sighed, relenting as he pocketed the gun and moved around slowly so as not to spook you. “Get her to the car, and then let's blow this place up.”
Seonghwa left then, hurrying down the hall and leaving behind silence. Hongjoong was afraid to reach for you at first, freezing up when his bloody hand got close. You stared at the blood there, seemingly more present, then looked up at him. He gave the softest most gentle smile he could muster at the moment. “Hey firecracker. You're safe now.”
Your gaze shifted to the dead body behind him, then back to him questionly. “Yes, I killed him. He hurt you, he didn't deserve to live another second. Now… do you want to go home with us? We can clean you up and feed you. Does that sound nice?”
The both of them waited for some answer from you, and it came in the form of wrapping your arms around Jongho's neck. The man held on tighter, looking up at his leader for answers on what to do. 
Hongjoong motioned at the door. “Carry her out, she's probably in a lot of pain so be gentle. You have Yeosang on the line?” He pointed to his ear where the piece was. At Jongho's nod while he slowly picked you up, Hongjoong grabbed it and stuck It in his ear. 
“How bad is it?” Yeosang immediately spoke into the piece and Hongjoong could hear a nervous clicking on the other side. “When I saw them grab her the other day I tried to get Yunho there I-”
“Yeosang. This isn't your fault.” Hongjoong chided  as he followed Jongho out of the room, keeping an eye out but he knew Seonghwa would have dealt with any strangers on his way. “She's alive, but I need you to warn the others. Where is Wooyoung?”
“He's with Minjae at the base. He was going to bring them in as backup if needed. He won't… he won't handle it Captain.”
“I know. So you're going to tell him to check the other locations and safe houses we have with Minjae and the others and that I want a full report tonight. We need to…” his gaze flickered back to you, still trembling in Jongho's arms and hiding your face against his shoulder. Jongho himself looked as pained as Hongjoong felt, but he was whispering gentle words to you so low that not even Hongjoong could make them out. “We're going to give her time to rest before Wooyoung sees her.”
“Understood? What else?” There was a firmness to Yeosang's tone that took Hongjoong by surprise, but he pushed on.
“Just warn Mingi and Yunho not to panic. Hwa is with San. If Yunho has a blanket or something to cover her, he needs to have it ready. Contact Wooyoung’s mother for a female doctor, Firecracker might trust-”
Hongjoong broke off when he heard someone else on the connection. Seonghwa. “Joong… there are pictures of what he did to her. The bed is soaked in blood and the chains…”
“What the fuck do you mean?” Mingi's voice suddenly cut in, broadcasting on all channels. “What the fuck did they do to our Princess?!”
“Easy Mingi. She needs us calm right now okay? Get this building ready to blow.” Hongjoong attempted to pacify him as the ascended the stairs. The skipped the floor below, hitting the ground floor and headed for the entrance. Mingi met them first and Hongjoong quickly moved to get in the way.
He hated the way his eyes went big and glassy, the color draining from his face as he stared at you. When Mingi tried to reach out though, Jongho stepped back, shaking his head. “She just stopped shaking. Don't. No more surprises for her.”
Hongjoong was shocked by the defensiveness of Jongho’s tone, so was Mingi, both staring at him like the many just grew a second head.
Jongho dipped his head and just rushed off for the door, past the two dead guards there. So Mingi turned to Hongjoong, finally taking in the blood that covered him before asking. “Tell me that belongs to the one who hurt her.”
“It does.” It was Seonghwa that answered, holding an angry San by the back of the neck as they descended the stairs. “He's nothing more than a mutilated corpse. We started a fire in the room she was held in, but let's burn this whole place to the ground.”
“Is she…” San prompted, blood sneered on his cheek and a crumbled picture in his hand. “She’s alive right?” He refused to look at either of them, his shoulders and voice trembling.
Hongjoong knew that this was hardest for San no doubt, with his experience and his past with you. Softly Hongjoong patted his broad shoulders. “She needs us to be strong, okay? Would our firecracker want us looking at her like she's broken goods?”
“No.” The three others, and Yeosang, all chimed in.
“Then let's go. It's about time we take her home.” He guided them outside to the waiting van, the door was open and Jongho was sitting on the floor, his back against the driver seat a very pissed off Yunho sat in. The man was gripping the steering wheel hard enough the veins on his hands were sticking out.
Hongjoong forced Mingi up front, climbing in the back with Seonghwa who was already covering you up with the blankets since Jongho refused to let you go. Er, well, you were now holding onto his arm so Hongjoong could only assume you didn't let him.
That just hurt more.
No more than a few seconds of pulling away from the building did a series of explosions go off, the building crumbling to rabble but for Hongjoong that wasn't enough. He couldn't take away what had happened to you, just the place it did. Nor could he undo the fact it happened to you… because of him. Of them and where they had you.
Only silence accompanied the somber tension in the van.
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Taglist will be added to reblogs so they will be easy to ignore!
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cosmicdahlias · 3 months ago
Text
I Hate Everything About You
a ford x reader fic
MINORS DNI
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You’re a student at the same college as Stanford. You hate his guts for being a successful arrogant bastard, but secretly have a crush on him.
warnings: slut-shaming, slapping, oral, rough sex, choking, breeding, drugs (weed)
this is my first stab at an enemies to lovers fic. i’ve always loved the trope, so this was a lot of fun. i also definitely didn’t include them smorkig weed because i’m like missing it and living vicariously through my writing or anything. 👀💦
You sat in your dorm finishing your homework. You were in your junior year at Backupsmore University with a major in theoretical physics, winter break was two weeks away. Tonight you were on edge, dreading a knock on the door. The reason? You had been assigned to write a research paper with Stanford fucking Pines.
Oh my god how you hated him. Success and praise flocked to him. You were the only feminine presenting person in your major, and thus had to fight tooth and nail to be seen as even half as good as your male classmates.
It drove you mad how professors just seemed to naturally love him, whereas they never showed you the time of day. And worst of all? He was arrogant and self-absorbed. He thought himself so much better than the other- in his words- “troglodytes” around him.
But what you hated the most was how attracted to him you were. How could you want to fuck someone so badly when you hated their guts? You always tried to repress your feelings, but some nights you still shamefully found yourself with your hand between your legs, thoughts running wild of Stanford using you like a sex toy.
You quietly seethed over your homework when you heard knocking at your door. You sighed heavily and pushed your chair back, savoring your last Stanford free moments.
You swung the door open and there stood the man that you despised more than everything.
“Stanford.” You said coldly.
“Y/n.” He responded, not even entertaining the idea of making eye contact with you, looking like he wanted to be anywhere else.
-
Barely an hour had passed before you two found yourselves locked in a heated argument. A simple disagreement over formatting had boiled over.
“Jesus christ, Stanford why do you have to make everything so fucking difficult?”
“I’M making things difficult? I’m not the one who’s been shooting daggers all night, barely responding to my questions because apparently talking to me is like pulling teeth. What the hell did I ever do to make you hate me this much?”
“Oh you really wanna know why I hate you? Maybe it has something to do with the fact that professors fawn over you for the most menial effort, meanwhile I’ve had to work myself to the bone, slaving away just to earn half the recognition you barely have to lift a finger for.” You spat.
“Well maybe if you kept your legs closed every now and then this wouldn’t be nearly as hard as you make it.”
Hot tears formed in your eyes, you quickly raised a hand and brought it down hard on his face. He stumbled back, his cheeks turning bright red and not from the slap. You looked down, a bulge clearly forming in his pants.
“Fuck, that’s hot.” You thought, quickly growing angrier that he had managed to turn you on like this.
“For fuck’s sake Stanford, are you serious?” You said through gritted teeth.
“I- well I- it’s not like I can help it. I’ve never been slapped before.”
You stared at each other for a moment, the sexual tension building.
“Look,” he pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation “it’s clear we both have some underlying feelings for each other, perhaps it would be for the best if we-“
“Whoa whoa whoa,” you said, cutting him off “maybe you do, but I certainly don’t.”
“Oh please, don’t lie to yourself. I catch you staring at me during lectures all the time, undressing me with your eyes, nothing anywhere like the malice you so pretended to demonstrate tonight. Admit it, you like me. Despite aaaaaall of your personal hangups about my successes, you genuinely have feelings for me.” He said, crossing his arms.
He let his words hang in the air, a smirk creasing his lips. God, he was such a dick.
“Now,” he continued “I was going to say I think it would be best if we just put this to bed, literally.”
“Stanford, no I-“ the blush on your cheeks betrayed you.
He chuckled, tilting your chin up. “I knew it, you want this.”
He pressed a firm kiss to your lips. He was right, you did want this. You’d be lying to yourself if you said you hadn’t imagined him between your thighs during class. You reached a hand down, fondling his cock over his pants.
“Mmm, fuck.” He groaned into your mouth.
You both began removing each other’s clothes desperately. He looked down at your naked body, his breath shaking. He took your breast in his hand, stroking your nipple with his thumb.
“Do you know the things those brutes in class say about you, about your body? When you walk into the room every man fucks you with their eyes, but you like it that way, don’t you?”
You took his thick cock in your hand and stroked it, he moaned and buried his head in the crook of your neck. He pulled himself away then pointed to the floor. You sank to your knees in front of him and wrapped your fingers around his cock again, pumping the near 8.5 inches in your hand. He tilted his head back, groaning and cursing.
“Put my cock in your mouth, baby.”
You went to slowly take his head in your mouth, but he seized a fistful of your hair and shoved the full length down your throat. You choked and gagged.
“You know I was thinking of being nice, but honestly I think you deserve to be brutally fucked after the way you’ve been acting. How does that sound, princess?”
You nodded with his cock buried in your mouth.
“Good, although honestly I was planning on doing it regardless.”
He gritted his teeth and resumed bucking furiously into your mouth. You to whimpered and gagged around him, tears streaming down your face.
“You’re my little slut now, you understand?”
You let out a muffled “Mhmf.”
“Look at you, letting me fuck your mouth like this. Do you let anyone else do this to you?”
He pulled out to let you answer. “No.”
He shoved his cock back in your mouth. “Let’s keep it that way. I’m not big on- mmf, sharing. I always figured the rumors of you being the campus whore weren’t true. You have too much self respect for that, but I bet you’re so dirty when you’re alone. Picturing me fucking you in every position, touching yourself and cumming with my name on your lips.”
He quickened pace, fucking your mouth rapidly in pure aggression. He growled and his hips stuttered, he was going to cum in your mouth if he kept going like this. He pulled you back by your hair and you took in a gasping breath. He didn’t give you a chance to breathe before picking you up and throwing you facedown on the bed.
He knelt behind you, slapping your ass hard a few times. “There, now I think we’re even.”
His hands pinned your wrists to the bed and he teased your entrance for barely even a second before slamming every inch inside you. You struggled to hold back a loud moan, trying to not let the whole floor know that you were getting absolutely wrecked.
He growled and moved his hands to your hips, fucking you so hard that it felt like his cock was going to split you in half.
“I have a confession to make, y/n.” He breathed between violent thrusts into you. “I saw you, two weeks ago, in the library. You didn’t see me, you leaned down to select a book off the lowest shelf and I could see your panties under your skirt. Pink with black lace. God I- I couldn’t resist, not after watching you eye me up in class. I found a quiet part of the library and stroked my cock to the thought of you.”
He picked up his pace, the slaps of his hips meeting your ass only aroused you more. “When our professor announced the assignment I knew I had to have you. I went and spoke to him after class and convinced him to pair you up with me. And now look at you, taking my cock like the whore you are, just like I knew you would.”
You gripped the sheets in your fingers as he pounded you into the mattress. Jesus fucking christ the idea of him getting worked up because of you was enough to fuel your masturbation fantasies for months. The thought of him stroking himself- in public no less- just because he saw your panties, good god you were going to savor that image in your mind forever.
He flipped you over on your back, kissing you deeply. His hands found your hips and pulled you onto his cock, resuming his aggressive rhythm.
“I love the feeling of fucking you from behind, but I need to see those eyes.”
He slid his hand to your throat, gripping it tightly. You choked out a weak moan and the corners of your vision started to turn to black static.
“God you’re gonna make me fucking cum. I want you to look in my eyes as I breed you, princess.”
He pounded faster and faster, savoring every moan and whimper that passed your lips. You dug your nails into his back causing his cock to twitch and throb, edging him closer by the second to cumming inside you.
“Look into my eyes, look into my eyes as I cum in you.” He demanded.
The sight of your doe eyes looking back at him was what did it. His brutally fast pace faltered and his breathing hitched and as he felt himself release deep in you, his hot cum coating your walls. He moaned your name loudly.
He panted, exhausted and collapsed beside you, trying to catch his breath. You were about to kiss him when he started making his way down your body.
“Stanford what are you-“
“Finishing the job, I’m not about to leave you unsatisfied like some kind of neanderthal would, I’m better than that.” He muttered.
You rolled your eyes, there he goes being arrogant as usual.
He took your clit in his mouth, you reached a hand down and buried it in his hair. He hummed against you, tongue lapping at your delicate nub.
“So desperate for me, aren’t you?” He teased.
“Nnnngh, Stanford.”
He looked up at you and chuckled. “Please, call me Ford.”
He slipped two fingers inside you, curling them against your g-spot. You arched your back instinctively and he held you in place by your hips.
“Getting close already are we?”
“Mmh, I can’t help it, you’re too good at this.”
“Surprisingly research goes a long way. It’s amazing what certain books can teach you.” He said with a devilish smile.
“You fucking nerd, I didn’t say you could stop.” You tightened your grip on his hair and pushed him against your clit, he let out a little “hmf”.
You rocked your hips against his tongue, feeling yourself tip over the edge.
“Ahh hah, oh Ford.”
Your orgasm shook you, hitting you hard. All you could do was focus on your breathing. Ford watched you intently, god you looked so perfect when you came.
He moved himself up on the bed, coming behind you and wrapping an arm around your waist, spooning you.
Goddammit, you really thought you were going to just bottle up your feelings for Ford until the day you died, but here you were in post coital bliss with him pressed against you.
-
The conflicting feelings of fucking the classmate you thought you despised moments ago started to weigh on you, you needed to take the edge off. You rolled out of Ford’s arms and off the bed, his eyes following you. You dug around in your bedside drawer pulling out a small baggie and a glass pipe.
You packed the bowl and flicked the lighter, taking in a long drag. You let out a cloud of smoke and sighed heavily before laying back down next to Ford, who was still watching you. You raised an eyebrow.
“What is it six fingers?”
“Nothing, I just-“
“Lemme guess, those anti drug psa’s really got to you as a kid.”
He looked away, embarrassed.
You rolled your eyes again. “Jesus, you really are a fucking nerd. Here.”
You handed the pipe to him, he took it in his hand, studying it for a second before flicking the lighter taking a deep inhale, you watched him hold his breath and couldn’t help but laugh.
“Dude, holding it doesn’t do anything, breathe.” You snorted.
He took gasping breath and let out a hacking cough, smoke coming out of his nose.
“That’s what they- ack- always do in the movies.” He wheezed.
“For the love of god, you really need to get out more.”
You passed the pipe back and forth for a good while, talking about random shit. By the end of it you were both sufficiently stoned.
You quickly learned that Ford was very affectionate when he was high, he pulled you close against him, nuzzling the back of your neck, peppering your skin with kisses. He traced the curves of your body with his fingers.
“You know, I was starting to think you genuinely hated me.” He murmured into your neck.
You let out a long sigh. “Ford don’t think I ever actually hated you, I envy you. Everything seems to come so easy to you, almost naturally. Your professors love you and- I don’t know- it was just hard not to feel a twinge of jealousy. Like this college wasn’t even my first choice, everywhere else rejected me and I still have to bust my ass just to be seen as being worth anyone’s time.”
Ford took a breath and exhaled deeply. “BMU wasn’t exactly what I had planned on either, I mean, remember what they said at orientation? This is no one’s first choice. My dream school was West Coast Tech, but things… fell through.”
He paused, you could tell there was weight to that last part, memories too painful to say aloud. You didn’t pry.
“Y/n, I want you to understand it hasn’t been easy for me either. I’ve had to work twice as hard just to make something of myself at a school with nonexistent educational standards.”
You felt a pang of guilt for ever assuming this was in any way easy for him. You turned to him, holding his face in your hands and kissing him deeply.
He broke away. “You know I was thinking we could grab coffee in the morning before heading to the library to work on our paper together. I- if you want, that is.” He looked away, nervous.
You smiled and kissed him again. “I’d like that.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
You laid your head on his chest and he wrapped his arms around you, kissing your forehead. His breathing deepened as he began to fall asleep. You soon felt your eyelids grow heavy, following Ford into slumber.
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uhdrienne · 8 days ago
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'tis the damn season
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🍂 feat: old flame!lee jihoon x actress!reader
🍂 genre: sfw, fluff, angst, exes to lovers, city to town life
🍂 wc: ~8.5k
🍂 summary: an actress yet to make it big in the city, you return to your hometown for christmas for the first time since leaving. seasons have changed, along with life as you know it. jihoon, however, has not, and as you spend the festive season with him this year, you struggle to get past what your life could have been if your decision had been different.
🍂 author's note: merry christmas! nothing like a christmas story to really feel the season <3 there's another note right at the bottom if you'd like to know how the story came about... but meanwhile, enjoy the story and as always, let me know what you think 🎄
T h i s Y e a r
The trees outside the window pass in a blur. Your manager glances at you from the passenger seat, and you notice it from the periphery of your vision.
"You're excited to go home for Christmas, no?"
"I am," You reply, but your voice, try as you might to make it sound enthusiastic in the spirit of the festive holiday, your voice comes out hollow, empty.
Your manager clicks his tongue. "Then try to sound like it. Your parents would not be happy to see how sullen their daughter has become."
"Nothing has happened to me, Ray," You murmur. "I just... going home after so long..."
"That happens to every star I work with," Ray remarks. "Always so jarring for them to go home."
"Other stars, yes," You reply quietly. "I...am not one."
"Not with that attitude, you aren't!" Ray chirps. "You just haven't bloomed yet. Remember the feedback about your role in 'Blacklist'? The papers praised it."
"It was just a cameo, Ray. And it all died down within a week," You remind him, not unkindly, as you are still appreciative that he wanted to compliment you. "I think the agency wouldn't lose out if my contract isn't renewed."
"Nonsense!" Ray declares as the car pulls onto a familiar bridge. Up ahead, you see old thatched roofs, the houses looming larger as you near the village. "I will talk with them, see what auditions we can put you up for. You're talented, just undiscovered."
You chuckle. "Thanks."
"Have a good Christmas break, Y/N," Ray says comfortingly, as the car finally pulls to a stop in front of your front door. "It's the season to be with your family. Don't think about work."
You nod, beginning to clamber out of the car. "You too, Ray. See you in a couple weeks."
As the car finally pulls out of the cobbled path, you gather your belongings about you, and look up at a shout of your name.
"Dad?"
"My dear girl!" Your father enthuses, drawing you into a bone-crushing hug. "Welcome home, sweetie. Oh, you've lost weight, haven't you?"
"Hm? No, not that much," You smile at him. "I'm looking forward to eating my body weight in Mom's food, though."
"She's more excited to have you home," Your father laughs. "You coming home has been all she can talk about nowadays. I think Mrs. Lee and Jihoon have had enough--"
Your blood freezes at the mention of that name. "What?"
"Mrs. Lee and Jihoon, of course."
"O-Of course." You stammer. Thankfully, your dad doesn't pick up on it as he relieves you of your luggage.
Lee Jihoon. Lee Jihoon. Lee Jihoon.
A big oak tree, an old swing, two children perched upon it, side by side.
"I'm gonna go to the big city one day!" The young girl whoops.
"For what?" The boy asked.
"To live! Mom says there are tall buildings and cars and big shops. Wouldn't it be so fun?"
"Sounds boring." The boy yawns.
"I'll bring you along!" The girl says obstinately. "I'll show you how fun it can be."
"Fine," The boy replies, swinging his small feet back and forth. "Let's go together when we grow up."
"Y/N?"
"Hm?"
"Come on! I think your mother's going to freak herself out if we don't start going over."
"Coming!"
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"I still don't get what you're doing in that grotty town."
"It's my hometown, Rina."
"Yeah, yeah, I forgot you came from a forest." Your (kind of) friend's voice drawls on the other end. "I'm off, I have a YSL fitting in like twenty minutes. I'll catch you soon if you decide to leave, yeah?"
"Okay, b-" The line beeping cuts you off. You lie back on your bed, massaging your temples.
Your mother had laugh-cried her way into a hug once you made it through the door, lamenting how hard it was to see her star daughter these days. It was all you could do to bite your tongue and avoid correcting her.
You were not a star. Not at all. While your friends in the industry had piles of scripts waiting for their perusal and selection, you simply accepted whatever you got.
You didn't miss the poorly concealed smiles of mock pity directed at you when everyone shared about their recent works at afterparties. But you knew you always did your best at every role you got, no matter how small they were. Yet... there were moments when you wondered if hard work truly surpassed luck and star quality.
Your muddled mind shifts back to the setting in the kitchen as happy voices and laughter drift upstairs. The look on Jihoon's face when you made eye contact for the first time in almost three years stops you in your tracks.
He looked as relaxed and calm as ever, dressed in a comfy-looking sweater and loose pants. Nursing a cup of coffee with his mother in your kitchen where he'd been countless times, he still resembled the young man you'd left behind.
But gone was the softness in his eyes from when you last saw him. Replacing it was a certain coldness, a tough look you couldn't place. That look had only intensified as he took you in, dressed in a thick fleece coat, black pants, and boot heels to match. He had nodded his head to you in greeting, but it had lacked warmth. Understandable, really.
You had flounced upstairs after the necessary greetings, citing a large load of luggage to unpack as your excuse.
A knock on your door makes you flinch. You open it, and pause at the person standing outside. "...Jihoon."
"Your mom says to come down. She says the food's almost ready and you look too thin."
"Right. Right, I'm coming."
He shrugs and then turns away. His footsteps draw away from your room.
You pinch colour into your cheeks, the way you did when things got too hard, and brace yourself.
Jihoon was staying for dinner.
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"So tell us what you acted in!" Your mom says cheerfully as she heaps food onto your plate. "I keep wanting to keep up with your shows, but it's strange, I haven't seen them on the main channel. Are they on streaming platforms or something?"
Your face falls slightly. She was right, half right to be precise. Your shows rarely ever made it onto mainstream television. And if they did, your roles were usually so small you'd just appear onscreen once. With that, it was borderline impossible for you to appear on Netflix.
Your dad rolls his eyes. "It's Christmas, dear. We should give her a break. Why, she came home to see all of us! We know how busy she is."
You shoot a grateful glance to your dad, which he returns with a wink as he raises his glass of wine. "Cheers to that."
As everyone at the table raises their glasses to meet in a sweet clinking sound, and your lips meet the rim to drink, you almost forget the way Jihoon's eyes strayed away from his plate to you when your mother brought your job up.
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You're about to wash up when your father enters your room.
"Dad!" You smile, slightly buzzed by the wine and the relaxation you felt, now that you were getting used to being home. "What's up?"
I just thought I'd check in on you before we turn in," He opens his arms, and you gladly step into them. He hums as he pats your head. "Are you getting used to being here? I know it's very different from the city, but.."
"I love it, Pop," You interrupt, understanding his worry. "Nothing can really beat home, right?"
"Right," He murmurs, and he coughs to mask up a suspiciously quick sniff. "Right. Well... sleep early. Tomorrow we'll go on a stroll, and see all the stuff you've missed. We can go visit Jihoon, if you want."
"Jihoon?"
"Yeah! He's got a big truck now, helping out with the family courier business... I heard he wanted to go to the city, but he's a good man, staying back here to help his parents."
You steel yourself to ask, "Did he ever say why he wanted to go to the city?"
"Hmm... he told your mom he wanted to go find an old friend when she asked. But, I suppose that can wait for him, since he hasn't mentioned leaving at all for a while."
You only hum in response.
"He didn't show it much, but his mother says he became much more quiet after you left. You two must have been really close, huh?"
The closest in the world, you wanted to tell him, but your own mouth just couldn't utter the words.
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T h r e e Y e a r s A g o
"Flowers? For me?"
"Don't make a big fuss,"
"Tulips and baby's breath! Damn, you know the way to my heart. Hold on, I'll find a vase."
"Be quick. I'm taking you somewhere and we can't be late for it."
"Is it a reservation outside the town? Jihoon, I told you that breakfast place is so expensive for absolutely no rea-"
"It's not a reservation. I've already decided, we're going to the 24-hour diner since you said you like their waffles. Somewhere else."
"You're turning red. What's up?"
"The sky. Now hurry up."
He ended up bringing you to see the sunrise. He kissed you on the cheek in the backseat of his father's (much smaller back then) truck and when you got home close to noon, he brought you to the door, stumbled out a shaky and rushed "I like you", and squeezed your hand when you smiled at him.
It was the first of many dates, snuggling on the couch, overdramatic arguments about whether Rose let Jack freeze, and above all, the first moments of a lifetime spent together. You both knew it was a given.
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T h i s Y e a r
"Uncle," Jihoon greets your father before his eyes land on you. His mouth tightens.
"Hi," You say meekly, feeling like the seven-year-old girl who would hide behind her parents to do introductions on her behalf. He doesn't respond, simply lets his eyes pass over you and back to your father.
Your dad doesn't seem fazed, as he remarks, "Cleaning the truck, Hoon? It's a good brand you've got there. Impressed whenever I see it."
Jihoon lets out a polite laugh. "Yes, well... I thought I'd invest in a good one since it'll be used for a while."
Your father turns to you. "Have you ever sat in a truck?"
You shake your head no. You never got to do that on set either.
He claps his hands. "Wonderful! Jihoon agreed to bring you out on a spin around the town. I have to pick up some things for your mom for Christmas Eve, you know how she gets. And I didn't think you'd want to spend your holiday grocery shopping with me. I'd feel at ease if Jihoon is here."
Your face tightens. "What do you mean?"
Jihoon clears his throat. "Uh-"
"You two were inseparable," Your father explains cheerfully. "Nothing like a good catch-up! Jihoon, drive safe, yeah?"
And then he's backing down the walkway, waving to you both. And now it's just you and your ex-boyfriend.
Jihoon looks away from you. "Get in, I guess."
And you do. No matter what Jihoon said, it always had a magnetic effect on you. Even if that same voice is now laced with unfamiliarity and slight coldness, you wouldn't say no to him.
Soon enough you're cruising through the small town, Jihoon's eyes trained on the road. As he slows down at a red light, you hesitantly ask, "How is everything with you?"
"Fine," He answers curtly, with no further elaboration.
Well. You can't say you were surprised.
You swallow and lean back into the seat.
"It's a nice truck," You remark lamely, in a desperate hope of starting conversation. "Your dad finally decided to get a new one?"
"It isn't my dad's," Jihoon replies, monotone still. "It's mine."
"Oh."
You should have known. The truck was much larger, its seats bigger than what you remember sitting in countless times as a teenager when his dad would pick you both up from school or to each other's houses.
After a short silence, you ask once more, "Where are we going?"
"To the coast. Your dad said youmissed the place."
"That's nice," You murmur back, emotions already deflated.
Of course, it had to be the coast. He brought you there to see the sunrise, and that was where you'd finally made it official. Clearly, the memories were just as raw for him, as you noticed him physically gritting his teeth as he stopped the truck.
"We don't have to go there-" You begin, but he cuts in stiffly. "I'm bringing you here to kill time while your dad does his stuff. Don't be mistaken."
"Right," You clear your throat awkwardly. "Of course not."
You're wondering how painful it would be to throw yourself out of the truck in embarrassment when your phone rings. It's Ray, so you mumble a quick "sorry" to Jihoon, who doesn't react, and pick up.
"Ray?"
"Hey, Y/N. How's the holidays so far?"
"Good? What's up?"
"Um..."
"Ray," You tease slightly, "You never call just to ask about my holidays. What's going on?"
"So...I just got back the results for your audition for 'Freak Show'."
"How is it?" You ask, breath caught in your throat. "Ray?"
A heavy sigh comes across the line. "I'm sorry, sweets. I know how much you wanted this role."
Your heart drops, and so does your expression.
"I'm trying to at least get you a supporting role since you liked the script so much, I'll let you-"
"Ray." You take a soft breath. Ray's voice halts. "Yeah?"
"Forget it."
"But-"
"Please... just forget it," You almost sound like you're begging. "I can't sit through doing another role no one's even going to remember. I've worked my ass off, Ray, I've gone for thousands of auditions for the past seven years, and not once have I ever gotten a callback for a lead role. I even tried to re-audition, but that damn assistant director spread the word of my so-called 'desperation', my fucking ex-manager did that stupid interview with the TV, and I ended up nowhere!"
"Y/N..."
"I'm sorry," You sigh immediately, trying to calm down. "I'm sorry about that. I'm really thankful that you help me, always. Without you, I might have been entirely jobless and the agency would have fired me."
"Oh, hun," Your manager murmurs comfortingly. "Like I said, you're a good actress. Really good. It's just a pity things went south and you met that assistant director who wanted to screw with you. Otherwise, you'd be on the front pages everywhere now."
"I...It's fine. I'll live. Just, Ray..."
"Hm?"
"Don't tell Rina and the rest if they call to ask, okay?"
"Your friends..?"
"Yeah. I... I want to tell them myself." More like no, you never want them to know. You can already see the fake disappointment on Rina's face when she whips her phone out to tell the chat made up of almost twenty actresses.
Ray agrees, and he tells you again not to stress too much before cutting the call. You lean against the cushion of your seat, closing your eyes, and when someone clears his throat you flinch. "Jihoon. Sorry."
He doesn't respond, simply looks at you as if you're a stranger, and you swallow nervously. "My manager called," You explain feebly, not that he even asked.
He nods once. "I heard." His eyes aren't exactly angry, they are still slightly cold, but there's something in them that seems more curious now.
You rub your eyes to snap yourself out, and you muster a smile at him. "So where are we going?"
"To get food," He replies. "That hot dog truck you liked a lot back then is here today, my dad told me."
"Oh, that's okay--"
"Don't eat hot dogs anymore?" He asks wryly, as he puts the truck in reverse and starts parking.
"Of course I do," You reply immediately, folding your arms. "Are you mad? Giving up on snacking?"
A flicker of a smile appears across his typically stoic face before he schools it and reverts to his stern expression. "I wouldn't know. You're stick thin, anyone would think you gave up fast food."
"Well. That just comes with exercise and occasional diets. And I'm not as thin as you say," You murmur. "But no. I wouldn't give up late-night cravings. My manager's one of the nicer ones."
Jihoon snorts slightly as he turns the engine off. "Thank goodness for that, I suppose?"
You shrug, and motion for him to lead the way to the hot dog stall as you climb out of the truck. You follow him down a rough patch of grass and rocks, all while he maintains a healthy distance. The sun warms your skin, and you breathe in the fresh, salty coast air.
"I'm sorry about the role, by the way. You must have worked extra hard for it," Jihoon says suddenly, hands in his pockets as he walks next to you, now back on solid ground, and you turn to face him, your face colouring in... embarrassment? Shame? "You heard my manager?"
"No. Just you, I put the pieces together."
Oh. "Right."
"Is it not...going well?" He motions with his hand vaguely. "Sorry, I don't mean to pry."
"It's fine, Jihoon," You stifle a reluctant laugh. "You can ask."
He stays silent so you continue. "I'm not getting any lead roles, only minor ones even if I put everything I have into it..." You sigh. "My friends don't really mention me, or they make little remarks about my rejections. As an adult, you'd think I shouldn't be bothered, but it just... it gets loud sometimes."
A few moments pass, your sneakers shuffling through the sand, when Jihoon finally says, "They don't seem like friends to me."
You let out a half-chuckle. "That's how showbiz is, I guess."
"No," Jihoon disagrees. "It doesn't matter if it's the industry or not. Friends are here to lift you up, not celebrate your downs. They shouldn't be doing that to you."
He goes silent after and as you get nearer, the food truck coming into view, you mull over what he just told you.
"I guess you’re right," You finally concede after a small pause. "They really shouldn't."
He says nothing more about it, and simply exchanges swift greetings with the stall owner, who seems to know him well. You try to smile weakly at the owner, but with your emotions still running high, you can only hope it doesn't come out as a grimace.
He gets hot dogs for both of you, and you look on gratefully and with a little surprise as he reels off your order word for word: a large hot dog bun with mustard, ketchup, and extra grilled onions. He gets a soda for each of you too, and you almost groan in satisfaction when the food is done. He looks on, looking slightly amused when you dig in.
"Not your usual fine dining concept, sorry." He says as he watches you take a big bite.
"Are you kidding? Way better," You mumble through your mouthful, and he snorts before taking a bite himself.
Just like that, the tension from earlier dissolves into something a little softer, a little gentler.
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"So," Jihoon says later, as you're polishing off your soda. "What's been up with you these few years?"
"What do you mean?"
"You haven't come back to visit your parents. They don't say it, but they get really worried when you don't call."
"Oh."
He raises his eyebrows at you, prompting you to go on.
"Life gets in the way." You explain, resigned. "I want to call home too, but I'm either fighting for roles that I know I'll never get or I'm trying out for more auditions. Plus, the past few years weren't a good time."
"Why?"
"Old manager," You reply, frowning at the sheer memory of the mess you engulfed yourself in two years ago. "Put me on stupid diets for no reason and when this assistant director snitched on me for being 'desperate for roles' when I tried reapplying, he gave a secret interview to the reporters."
Jihoon scowls slightly. "Right. I heard about that. Prick." You laugh out loud. "Yeah. A real prick."
"And then?"
"Not much else. I was trying to clear my name, and by then I wasn't getting that many roles either."
Jihoon doesn't say anything, and you steal a glance at him. He looks... conflicted would be a good way to put it. Like he doesn't know what to say or do.
Before you can think of something to say, anything to dispel the sudden tension, he suddenly gets to his feet. "Come on. I'm taking you home."
You raise your eyebrows. "Okay... is everything alright?" Was that your imagination, or did he just clench his teeth?
"Fine." Yup, he was definitely gritting his teeth. You're beyond perplexed. But with how angry he already looks, you're not sure you want to aggravate him further, so you get up, toss your cup into the bin, and follow him back to the truck.
The whole journey is spent in silence, and a lot of uncertain glances from your end.
When he drops you off at your home twenty minutes later, he doesn't say anything as you unbuckle your seatbelt.
"Jihoon?" You ask, turning to face him in the seat.
"Yes?"
His face freezes slightly when you tell him, "Thanks for today. I had lots of fun."
He swallows nervously, evident in the bob of his Adam's apple as he shrugs. "No problem."
"And…um… thanks for still remembering my hot dog order." You say softly, before turning to climb out of the truck.
When you get to your front porch, and then climb the stairs to your room, you look out the window.
He's still there.
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T h r e e Y e a r s A g o
"Did you just say you're...leaving?"
"I got the audition. It's my big break... if I don't take the chance now, I might not ever get to. It's my dream, you know that."
"What else?"
"Huh?"
"Your dreams this, your big break that. Don't you have anything else to say?"
"...What can I say?"
"What do you mean, what can you say? What about us?"
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T h i s Y e a r
The next morning arrives in the form of your mother standing over your bed. “Hey, darl, wake up!”
“Mhmm?” You mumble from under your covers and you hear her chuckle before she peels your blanket back.
“Jihoon’s mom is coming over to help with Christmas Eve dinner,” she explains. “But I totally forgot about the school donation.”
“School donation…?” What is she talking about?
“Oh! Right. So we donate a bunch of food every year to your old school. You remember it, right? Near the Methodist church?”
“Yeah,” You yawn, stretching up in bed and rubbing the sleep out of your eyes.
“They pass it to orphanages for children who don’t have Christmas dinner this season. I’ve had it prepared since this morning, but with Jihoon’s mom and the dinner, I don’t think I’ll have time to drop by the school,” She looks regretful. “Would you mind helping with that, dear?”
“Sure,” You reply, cracking your neck. “I’ll handle it. Don’t worry, mom.”
“Thanks, hun,” Your mom says, looking relieved. “It’s quite a lot. We had lots to give this year. Mrs Lee said she’d send Jihoon to help you.”
“Huh?”
“I wouldn’t send you into the cold holding tons of heavy bags!” Your mom fusses. “Wash up and eat before you go — your dad got the most amazing bread yesterday.”
After she leaves, you sit there, wide awake.
Jihoon is coming.
That fact alone has you hurrying to tidy yourself for god knows what, even applying a bit of mascara and lip gloss to salvage your face.
Your phone pings as you start tidying your table, and you look at Ray's name popping on the screen.
"Remember your audition and screen test with the director of 'Who Knows Why'?" The text reads. "He's making the final decision for the female lead of his new holiday film. This guy has high standards and his films are very popular, but he likes picking new faces over the same old stars. A few of your friends are in the choices too, but...I just have a feeling this could be it. I'll let you know again. Happy holidays!"
You sigh. Who Knows Why made headlines for weeks when it hit the cinemas, critics and film connoisseurs alike singing its praises. Unless a miracle selected you while you were sleeping, you very much doubted you would make it past.
By the time you get downstairs and have a few pieces of the toasted bread — which is amazing, all warm and toasty and fresh — the doorbell rings, and your mom rushes to get the door.
“Mrs Lee!” She exclaims, hurriedly ushering the other lady into the house. “Thanks for coming by today.”
As the two exchange pleasantries, Jihoon steps into the house, removing his boots and smiling slightly when your mother coos over him too.
He merely nods in acknowledgement when he sees you. The contrast makes your stomach clench slightly.
“Ah, Jihoon,” His mother says. “Make sure to help Y/N with the bags of food, yeah?”
He simply nods again, a soft “okay” escaping his mouth, before he approaches you.
“Let’s get going,” He says conversationally.
“Okay,” You reply nervously. He raises his eyebrows as he walks to the heaping table.
He picks out most of them. Especially the biggest and bulkiest ones.
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It’s fifteen minutes later when you’re walking down the path when he breaks the silence. “Are you alright?”
“Hm?” You ask. “Oh yeah, I’m fine. Why?”
“Nothing. I thought with the role thing… never mind.”
“Oh.” Truth be told, you’d barely thought of it since the hot dog outing. “Uh… I mean, what’s past is past, right?”
“I suppose.” He replies, non-committal.
And there it goes again. The choking, awkward silence that just doesn’t seem to dissipate no matter what either of you.
There’s a bit of fuss when you reach the school, what with all the grunt work passing over the food and making sure the right people get the right things, and that provides a little relief, at least for an hour or so.
After it’s all over, you find yourself at the school gates where you first met Jihoon, with the very same man, now twenty years on.
“It hasn’t changed much,” You observe.
Jihoon shrugs. “I guess. It’s like very little time passed.”
That roadblock comes back.
You swallow. “Um, Jihoon.”
He makes a humming sound in response.
“Are we…okay?”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know,” You admit, pulling at your sweater. “You seemed angry when we were out the other day and…”
“I’m not mad.”
“Right.”
You're not convinced.
“I’m really not.” He insists, although you haven’t even said anything to contradict him.
“I know. You said so.”
“Well, you sure don’t sound like you believe me.” He says, rather scathingly.
You shoot him a quizzical look. It was a choice between acting dumb or admitting that after all this time, he could still read you like a book.
“I didn’t say anything.”
“I know.” He laughs bitterly. “You never do, anyway.” He turns away as he says this.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” You ask, slightly affronted.
“I don’t know, you tell me,” He says in a sudden show of annoyance. “Not even one call all these years, and when you finally show up back here, I find out how shit your so-called dream life has been. But I don’t know! It could just be me.”
“Jihoon-”
“And I’m just thinking, you gave up all of this?” He waves his arm outward. “You gave up everything back here… for what you have now? Was it even worth it in the end?”
“I thought that was what I wanted.” You try to answer, but it comes out pathetically. He was spot-on.
You left your family, your home, the love of your life… for something that ended up being unworthy in the slightest.
And you were now reaping the consequences.
“I…” Jihoon rubs his face, his anger now cooled into something like resignation. “You made your choice. I get that. I’m trying to understand. I just… I don’t know why you thought the life you have now, with fake friends and unnecessary drama, was better than peace.”
"It wasn't that I wanted to go through all of that... I --"
He stares at you, waiting for you to go on. But it's as if someone has sealed your mouth shut, as nothing escapes it.
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T h r e e Y e a r s A g o
"You won't even bother trying? Will you fight for us?"
"How can I? The agent made it clear... once I step out, dating is out of the question.."
"So that's it? You're just going to leave for some big city, and I'll just be stuck here, waiting for someone who's already made her choice?"
"Jihoon, I... fuck, I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"All of it. I let you down."
Never had you seen your boyfriend regard you with as much disappointment as he did now.
"You did, Y/N. You really did. God, I thought--I thought we mattered more than those billboards."
"Jihoon-"
"But there's no point, right? You already made your decision. You don't intend to look back at all, do you?"
"I-"
Jihoon sighed, and bent his head in resignation, running his fingers through his hair in frustration. After what seemed like an eternity, he finally raised his head. "Then why are you still here?"
"What?"
"You heard me. I won't hold you back. Go on."
Silence, the raging kind that had never once blossomed between you both, took over.
After what seemed like an eternity, your mouth opened.
"We... we leave on the 17th."
He doesn't look up from his lap as you exit his room, down the creaking stairs of his family home for the last time, and you come face to face with his mom.
"Chase your dreams, dear," She'd said, clasping your hands, although you thought you saw unshed tears in her eyes as your own streaked down your face. "Come home and visit us sometime. Jihoon will be okay."
You did leave on the 17th. Jihoon turned up with his parents, and as his mom kissed you on the forehead and gave you her blessings, his gaze stayed on you, but he didn't step forward to say goodbye.
He kept looking on as you climbed into the car, and in the rearview mirror as it pulled away, you thought you saw him start to raise his hand in a momentary wave.
But then he was far gone behind you, and now you only had the road ahead for company.
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T h i s Y e a r
The truck ride back is silent again. Jihoon doesn't even look in your direction, except to check his blind spots and adjacent lanes. Your mind is equally messed up, thinking about everything he said to you.
Was he right? Had you lost your way, and bargained everything you could have lived with, in exchange for friends who couldn't care less about you, and a career akin to a peakless, uphill slope?
Finally, when the silence becomes a thick, choking fog, you finally speak up. "Jihoon?"
He glances to you for a fraction of a second. "Yes?"
"If..." You struggle to find the words. "If... I hadn't made that choice..."
His head turns to you fully, his gaze now sharp. "What?"
You have to plan out what you want to say, word for word, before you go on. "If I chose to stay back then... would we have lasted? Would we have..."
Jihoon turns back to the road. "Would we have stayed together? Do you want my honest answer?"
You nod imperceptibly. "More than anything."
"We would," He says quietly, but with no hesitation as he makes a left. "I would have told you that we should set up a joint account and plan for a home together in maybe three years. I would've told you that we could go on weekly grocery runs and start thinking about moving in together. And I probably would have told you that I love you."
You freeze.
"It sounds unnecessary and stupid, but I don't want you to burden yourself with that, now," He says, sitting back and looking straight ahead. "I know you don't belong here, or to me, anymore. That's life, and we all move on, one way or another. Plus it's Christmas, and you're here now, so.... you should enjoy it before you leave."
And that's that. Just a reminder for you to enjoy yourself before you inevitably have to go. None of you need to speak to know that the conversation is over.
The drive resumes in silence.
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You can't sleep. You've tossed and turned a million times, head pounding with exhaustion, but something's just stopping your eyes from shutting. Unfortunately, you know exactly why.
Jihoon's there in your mind. Sometimes the calm, steady person he's always been, sometimes a roaring, dark figure glaring at you the way he did when you said you were leaving.
Around two in the morning, you finally sit up. You have to go to Jihoon. You don't know what you're going to say, but if you don't find him, he will never stop haunting you.
You slip on a warm sweater and shoes, and gently close the front door behind you. The village is truly ready for the festivities, all twinkling golden lights and lightly falling snow. But none of that matters as you pad through the white fluff towards Jihoon's home.
When he opens the door, he's dishevelled, but doesn't show signs of having just woken up. "Uh... it's two a.m...?"
"I know it is," You say apologetically. "I'm sorry. I, uh... I couldn't sleep."
He raises his eyebrows. "Ah. I see."
You're beginning to regret this. Maybe you should've thought this through. "Look, it's okay, I'm really sorry for bothering you--"
"Guess that makes two of us," He says conversationally, as if it isn't the dead of night. "Come in. It's cold."
You wait for him to walk in before following him into the house. Try as you might, you just can't shake the feeling of nostalgia that rushes through you as you walk around the house you've visited a million times.
You know that his favourite grey mug is on the cabinet shelf above the sink. The earl grey cookies he can't live without is on the counter. The stairs still creak a little when you step on the floorboards nearby. You know him and everything that belongs to him. You know it all.
You take a seat at his table. "Will your parents be upset that I came at this hour?"
He eyes you wryly. "You know silly questions get silly answers."
You know your question is nearly pointless. You've left late, slept over, even gotten drunk in this house and his parents still doted on you nevertheless.
You shrug. "Doesn't hurt to ask."
He hums as he reaches for a hot cocoa mix. "Then my answer is no. Nobody's upset."
Five minutes later, he places a cup of steaming hot chocolate in front of you and sits down.
"So, bad dreams?"
"Huh?"
"You said you couldn't sleep. Did you have a bad dream?"
"No. Not really bad. Just... disturbing."
He raises his eyebrows. "I think that's the same thing."
"Dreams are like... like movies." You try to explain, a smile forming on your face. "Bad dreams are horrors and thrillers. Disturbing dreams are more like... like they could be any genre, but some parts and some scenes affect you more."
"Right," He says. "So Titanic was disturbing, then?"
"Very!" You blurt before you can stop yourself. "Because it still confuses me to this day, how on earth didn't Jack fit on the door?"
He breathes out a chuckle, leaning back on his chair. "It confuses me how you compare dreams to movies. They're in two complete worlds altogether."
"Admit it. It's a good analogy."
"It is," He admits. "I didn't think of that before."
You look at him, and you wonder how you can continue the conversation from here. He sits there for a few more minutes and stands up. "I'll go set up a room for you. It's snowing pretty badly, and you'll be soaked through if you walk back. I'd drive you, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to see anything."
He starts to leave the room, and you grab his arm. "Jihoon."
He looks down at your physical contact point. "Yes?"
"Earlier, when you said...when you said that movies and dreams are in two different worlds."
He looks at you. Staring unblinkingly, eyes never avoiding yours. He seems just as about to ready to confront this truth as you are.
Your dream was the movie screen, and his dream was you. Two completely, otherworldly different ones, but dreams and wishes nonetheless. Maybe now that you were once again back where you started, they could finally align.
"You weren't just talking about actual dreams, were you?"
Jihoon stiffens and steps back. "We're not doing this again."
"No, wait --" You say, closing your eyes to gather your thoughts. "I'm not going to make you tell me anything. I just want to know if you meant something else."
Jihoon swore he would give himself a pat on his back as he leaned down to look you square in the eye. "And if I said I did?"
You swallow and look at him. Your heart is pounding, and all logical thinking has been long thrown out of the window. "I'd thank the heavens for bringing me home."
His mouth finds yours and you pull him down to meet you more. It's not a cold war anymore. It's no longer a battle to see who can withstand the silence better.
And there is no more silence, you realise, because Jihoon is sniffling and your cheeks are stained with two warm droplets. "Jihoon?"
"I'm sorry," He mumbles, making no effort to withdraw. "I couldn't help it. I...I missed you. Not just this," He squeezes your hand which has somehow intertwined with his, and you squeeze back with the little strength you can muster. "Just...you. Drinking hot chocolate in my kitchen in the middle of the night, being within two streets' distance of me... eating hot dogs in my truck and sending food when Christmas comes."
You blink back tears. "I'm sorry for missing out all these years."
"Don't be sorry," He replies, imperceptibly softly, his hand coming up to stroke your cheek. "Just be with me."
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You spend the night. And the night after, and the one after that.
The next three days pass like a fever dream. You go skating at the outdoor rink with Jihoon, laugh at how he wobbles his way to you like a baby deer learning how to walk for the first time, drink hot peppermint tea at a market stall after dinner, and let Jihoon tuck you into his coat on the walk home.
You didn't want this to end. No matter what. Ray hadn't yet gotten back to you on the audition results, and you decided to take it as a no and move on, just as you always did.
Of course, life always found a way to rear back and bite you hard, as your phone rings. With gloved hands, you pull it out of your coat pocket to see Ray's name again.
"Ray!" You chuckle, a little heady and happy from the day's events.
"So someone's having a good Christmas," Ray teases. "Well, my friend, it's going to get a lot better."
"What?" You ask, your boots crunching to a stop. Next to you, Jihoon also stops walking, his eyes wholly on you in concentration.
"The director of 'Who Knows Why'," Ray says, poorly concealed excitement in his voice. "He called me today, said he wants you to take the role! Your friends didn't get it even though they're so famous, and guess what? You did."
"Ray." You say, firmly. "Repeat that."
"You. Made. It. Out of over 100 actresses. I'm not joking!"
You freeze, look up and lock eyes with Jihoon, who raises his eyebrows in question.
"Oh, my god," You say, and it all comes out in a rush. "You're...you're serious."
"As a heart attack." Ray promises. "So, when can I come pick you up? Day after Christmas?"
"Ah." You hesitate. The filming would involve you....leaving. And if you were to stay and prepare for press tours, interviews, meet-and-greets... when were you returning?
"Can I call you back? I'll check..."
"Sure, hon," Ray replies cheerfully. "Go tell your folks the good news! They're gonna be thrilled."
You laugh weakly and then hang up. Then you turn to your lover (is he?).
"So, what was that about?" He asks, resuming the walk.
"I..."
At his concerned look, you finally sigh. "I got a lead role. In the film of a really popular director."
"That's amazing....oh." His face falls as he comes to the conclusion you fear. "Does that mean...you have to leave, don't you?"
You take a soft breath, shuffling your feet back and forth nervously. "I suppose so. I...I have to."
And to make matters worse, your phone pings with a text, your face souring as you read her message. Then, Jihoon watches as you put your phone back in your coat without another word.
"Who is that?" He demands. He knows he sounds like a little child, but he doesn't stop himself. He doesn't like the bitter expression on your face and that's all he knows.
"A friend." You reply.
"Real friend or...?"
You sigh and fish your phone out and pass it to him. He reads the simple "Fuck you" message from Rina, and undiluted anger crosses his face. "What the-"
You shrug. "She was probably one of the actresses hoping to be selected. Not much I can hide from you now."
He chuckles bitterly. "Yeah, we're not hiding the fact that you have to leave in maybe three days. Back to people like this-" He gestures to your phone. "- and who knows what else."
"I'll try to come back often," You say, although it doesn't seem convincing in the slightest. Jihoon doesn't buy a word of it either, judging by his expression.
"Really?" He says. "You haven't even been able to find time to come home for years now. I know you've gotten your big break and I'm happy for you, but... I don't know what to do if you leave for years on end again."
"I'll try to shuttle back and forth," You insist. "I have to."
"Well," Jihoon says, still looking at you doubtfully. "Don't make it an obligation."
"No, let's talk about it," You insist. "I just...I've never gotten a lead role before. It's not just... it's not just a role I can give up right away."
"Well, then choose. Tell me what you want." He replies, disappointment crossing his face.
"I...I haven't decided yet." You say lamely. "I need...I need a little more time to think."
He simply continues looking at you, before turning away and pacing back and forth. All you can do is watch him helplessly. "I just don't want to think about when this...will be over." Fling? Relationship?
It's as if he already knows what you're thinking about as he smiles sadly. "See, you don't even know what label to put on us."
"I just don't like when it has to be one over the other." You say, hugging yourself and staring at your shoes. "I've missed you. You know I love you and I want to continue seeing you, but I can't just give up on what I've wanted for so long."
But Jihoon is already shaking his head and starting to walk. "It doesn't have to be one way or another. Because I think you've already made your decision. I'm taking you home."
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And it was happening all over again. Days had passed with no interaction with him, and even on Christmas Day itself, he was nowhere to be found.
Too fast, the evening when Ray came to pick you up loomed near. Your father helped you pack, but behind the reminders to bring your makeup bag and home slippers was a tinge of sadness. Your old folks didn't even know when they'd next see you.
When Ray comes out of the car to pick you up, out steps another lady with him, who nods to you in greeting.
"This is Rachel, the producer for the movie," Ray explains. "Since it’s gonna be a holiday romance-comedy, she wanted to visit your town to see what it looked like in Christmas."
You smile, and nod eagerly. "It's beautiful. You won't regret it."
Rachel smiles back, then speaks to Ray. "You guys stay here. I'll go take a quick walk and be right back."
As she leaves, you look at Ray. "Can we talk?"
Ray raises an eyebrow. "What about?"
"I... was wondering." You say. "I have a bit of a predicament at home. I'd like to stay longer. Could you maybe...push for the filming to be delayed?"
Ray looks surprised. "You want to wait?"
"More than anything."
A smirk starts blooming on Ray's face. "For a guy?"
At your delay, he slaps your shoulders. "Great! So, is the lucky guy totally alright with your job? That's a good man right there."
"Actually..."
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You sprint towards Jihoon's house. Your attention is fixed on trying not to fall flat into the snow and to get to him as quickly as possible. Other townspeople are gawking, probably wondering why someone is in such a hurry, practically flying down the street.
At his door, you start knocking hard. His mom opens the door, and to your dismay, she explains that Jihoon hasn't been home since the morning.
"Maybe he's at the coast," She suggests, and you have never set off so fast before.
You implore Ray to drive you, and despite his reservations, a call from Rachel confirms that he has enough time to bring you there in his car for you to find Jihoon.
“So I’m now a party who can help you find the love of your life,” He teases you. “What do you owe me if this works out?"
"I'll make sure I land another film after this."
"You're on."
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Ray barely puts the brakes on before you're opening the door. "I'll see you in a bit!"
"Should I prepare tissues?" He calls back. You pray not as you frantically scan your surroundings for a familiar, dark-haired man.
And like the heavens are answering you, you find him. Sat upon the roof of his truck, staring out at the coast at the setting sun.
"Jihoon?" You call as you get nearer to him. The man freezes, then turns slowly to face you. "I thought you were heading back. Why are you here?"
"To talk," You say softly, trying to catch your breath. "I... I think we left some things unsaid."
"No," He disagrees, crossing his legs over to face you while still sitting. "I owe you an apology."
"What?"
"I shouldn't have tried to make you choose me over your dreams. I know how hard you've been working, and you're finally getting to your peak... I should have supported you. I'm sorry. It was selfish of me."
"No," You insist, waving your hands. "I made that mistake first. Years ago, when I decided to leave, I didn't put you in front of my thoughts. I....I thought we'd be okay."
Jihoon shrugs and gives you a sad smile. "I'll always root for you. So... no hard feelings. Go ahead and shine. I promise we're okay. I'll never have bad feelings for you no matter what happens."
You shake your head. "That-"
"Y/N!" You hear Ray calling for you. Seriously? At this moment?
"What?" You hiss furiously.
"Check your phone!" You hear his hushed response.
"Later!"
"No! Now!"
You sigh and pull it out at his insistent glare, and when you look down at the message, your eyes light up. You shoot him a quizzical glance. Are you serious?
At his frantic nod, you turn back to Jihoon.
"You should go," Jihoon repeats. "They must be waiting for you."
"They are," You nod. He nods back, eyes not leaving yours.
"See you in a bit."
He cocks his head in confusion.
"Haven't you heard?" You smile a bit at his nonplussed expression.
"The filming location shifted."
"What?"
"I'll be here, apparently. For the next half a year, or so. The producer decided this place must be too good to pass up."
His jaw drops, and he slides off the truck, as if his surprise disabled his sense of balance. “You’ll be… here?”
“For a while,” You shrug nonchalantly, as if your heart isn’t beating fast and hard. “So, if… if you still want to talk, and maybe spend spring together… I’m down.”
He drops himself off the vehicle and his boots hit the ground with a crunch. “Say that again.”
You smile and take a few steps towards him. “I’m here for spring, Jihoon. And the seasons after that…we’ll figure it out one at a time. How does that sound?”
He lets out a laugh then, choked up but ecstatic. He makes sure, steady steps towards you, arms open in welcome and love, and as you step into his warmth, you let out a relieved, happy sigh and look up at him.
“Merry Christmas, Jihoon.”
“Merry Christmas, Y/N.”
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N e x t Y e a r
"I forgot how cold it can get every time," Jihoon hisses as another gust of wind hits.
"It's worse in town," You tease. "I barely feel anything now."
"Yes, yes, you with your big girl city habits," He shivers. "I'll pick that bone with you once we get home, I swear."
"I'm looking forward to it." You chuckle, and he squeezes you tight. As resigned as he is to the eccentric habits you picked up in the city, he's just happy you're here to spend this Christmas with him. And the one next year, and the one after that.
Home. Our home. You were a part of his home, and him yours.
Yes, you thought, even as you leaned against him and felt him wrap his coat around you despite knowing you weren't cold at all. As long as you were with him, you were home.
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a u t h o r ' s n o t e:
merry christmas eve! i hope you enjoyed this story every bit as much as i enjoyed writing it 🎄 i started thinking about this close to october (because i missed my eras tour experience so much 😭) and wondered if anyone would like a crossover between seventeen and tswift!! so here goes, in time for christmas and your spotify wrapped, 'tis the damn season 💌
🎼 refer below for the fic playlist (with lots of svt, taylor swift, and sweet, romantic christmas tracks)
taglist: @jeonghnie
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f i c p l a y l i s t :
'tis the damn season -- taylor swift
mirrorball -- taylor swift
lover - taylor swift
paper rings - taylor swift
daylight - taylor swift
new year's day - taylor swift
ours - taylor swift
i love you, i''m sorry - gracie abrams
risk - gracie abrams
all my love - seventeen
falling for you - seventeen
headliner - seventeen
lie again - seventeen
second life - seventeen
to you - seventeen
my santa claus - jessie james decker
glow - brett eldredge
all i want for christmas is you - michael buble
kiss you this christmas - why don't we
take me home for christmas - dan + shay
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seruadoric · 7 months ago
Note
Will u do a getian fluff? (If ur still in the r1999 fandom ofc)
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GETIAN , WHO ...
content warnings // fluff, various headcanon scenarios , romance ( can be perceived as platonic ) , gn!reader
notes // i absolutely fell in love with getian during notes on shuori, therefore i am very much ecstatic to write for him ♡ i actually have a lot more for him in mind, but i'm not going to be oversharing today ( im actually just too lazy to write )
word count // 580
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GETIAN who wants to impress you - and he does that by playing music to you.
➜﹒due to his bone wand, getian is able to play multiple instruments at a time. he conducts a beautiful orchestra of harps, lutes, and drums. the music is extremely clear and loud, but it is beautiful all the same. he wants to share his passion of music with his loved one, and is delighted when you show a positive response.
you have never heard something quite like this, and it was as if he had put you in an infinite trance. the music is carefully orchestrated, harmonizing together perfectly. you'd doubt you would break out of this reverie before the music had come to a stop, the initial quietness returning.
getian's attentive eyes look towards you, in search of finding a reaction of some sort ... and he was delighted seeing your face light up, the soft sound of applause resonating. he cracked a smile, one that was barely even noticeable -
"your music never fails to put me at ease." you spoke, in which he replies with a nod. "i will be sure to play for you more, then"
GETIAN who invites you to fly with him, especially late at night.
➜﹒the nighttime is a perfect time to stretch his wings and get some fresh air. whether or not you have wings like him, he will invite you to fly to the highest building to have the best view of the city (or the wilderness).
"hold on tight, and don't let go." he warned, the sheer pressure of being so high up making his voice barely audible. getian's talons held onto the hem of your clothing, careful not to hurt you, or to rip them - "i won't be able to catch you if you fall."
you reckon you flew a few miles, before he finally placed you down. he perched on the branch of a tree only a few feet away, stretching his wings out. here, you could see the whole city in its glory - the lights of the streets, slowly flickering as time passed.
once each light dimmed down, it was only the moon and its stars to accompany you. he will eventually fly you back down, but for now he does not need to say a thing - just admire the stars in a comfortable silence.
GETIAN who gifts you trinkets and jewelries he might've found in the wilderness; they can vary from high-value objects or literal trash, but you will love them nonetheless.
➜﹒ there will be short periods of time where getian is away, which he makes it up to you by gifting the things he found on his adventures. really, they're just shiny and peculiar objects that he found tossed around, but he managed to make something good out of them. (by giving them to you!)
"emm ... getian, what's this?" your expression, tinged with both mystification and amusement, didn't go unnoticed by the feathered man. "for you." he pushed the trinkets to you, as if urging you to take them.
"help yourself, i have no need for them." he raises his wing to his face, letting you take your pick. among them, there were valuable stones like jade and crystals ... but what caught your eye was a makeshift ring; a pull-tab from a used can of dr. papper, long thrown away by its user.
"i'll take this one."
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૮˶- ﻌ -˶ა⌒)ᦱ zᶻ
240 notes · View notes
thesamoanqueen · 6 months ago
Text
Anatomy of an affair II
A/N: second chapter and I think I'll finish this mini series in the next one, but I hope this isn't useless anyway because I really tried to build a particular tension... y'all know what I mean. Once again, dedicated to Aly~
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The first lessons had been... an experience, let's say. The classroom was always packed, a crowd just waiting for him as if he was somekind of an event. Throngs of students in the front row hanging on his every speech, giggling and sighing at every word, always waiting at the door as if gaining the best seat and attempting physical assault at the end of the lesson would somehow make the difference or attract his attention. Writing his reports and some notes for myself, I learned that that kind of technique didn't work. Not that I wanted to look for the right one, on the contrary... I tried as much as possible to keep my feet on the ground, my mind clear and my legs closed so as not to reduce myself to those levels.
It was difficult though. The rough sound of his voice as he talked about muscles, bones and organs made it a challenge to focus, especially now that he was starting to get serious with lessons and I had to work hard so as not to end up like most of those desperate people who now couldn't find the show so entertaining anymore. My eyes constantly fixed on his muscles and organs, a perfect example of what a man should have been like in anyone's dreams, as if mother nature had taken special care of him to teach ordinary mortals. It was probably my unconscious seeing him like this in search of my well-deserved revenge on Tobert or maybe it was some kind of psychological test of my twisted mind to prove my dedication was stronger than temptations, but sooner or later would have been time for a real test and along with it, the others I still had to finish preparing for.
I was close going crazy, I knew it and with a sigh I ran a hand over my face, checking my phone to understand what would occupy my only hour of break that day. Lunch was already taken, but not by my meal and as if I had summoned him, Professor Reigns appeared in front of me again, almost making my phone fly out of my hand. I suffered from PTSD after our first face off and I had the impression he liked it.
- “So?” – he asked, with an amused smile, seeing me immediately get back on my feet like a soldier.
He absolutely liked it.
My mouth opened without a sound, unable to form even a silent insult, but as soon as my synapses began to do their job again I understood. The lesson, he was talking about the lesson. He wanted the report and didn't care what I was doing with my phone or my life. Of course.
- “It was... intense” – I admitted, seeing him listen carefully – “I think more than a few people got lost towards the middle now that we’re going deeper. There are already requests for more information, should be the same topics I wrote down during the lesson, I have the note here...” - I started rummaging in my bag looking for the notebook in which I had taken them, realizing with a silent curse that it was identical to the others that I constantly dragged with me to study everywhere.
- “It's here somewhere... just a moment, it's right here” – I apologized, already feeling anxiety increase as seconds passed and he waited, looking at me in silence.
I hadn't lost it, I couldn't have lost it, I had put everything back in my bag leaving the room empty, I had been very meticulous, but what if it had happened? Was it a possibility? If I forgot a notebook I could forget a gauze during an operation, a doctor could never be so absent in them mind!
- “Here” – he interrupted me, ignoring my search to hand me one of the cups he had in his hand.
I took it quickly, trying to continue with my free hand, but he stopped me, shaking his head, lifting my chin with a finger. The sensation, however quick and innocent, paralyzed me and I looked at him with wide eyes as he pointed the matcha he had passed me.
- “We’ll take care of your notes later, drink now” – he ordered more seriously this time and if my eyes were wide open before, they must surely have rolled out now, like in one of those cartoons I watched in Tobert's living room when we were both kids.
- “Me?!”
- “I'm a big guy but two is too much even for me” – and yes, he was right, but I still couldn't believe that he had bought something for me.
None of the professors I knew, not even the ones I was close with, had ever offered me anything. Usually it was students who did it, a show of respect, the opposite was strange, it couldn't happen... or could it? He had done it and he was acting like it was no big deal. Maybe he felt obligated because it was almost lunch time and he had asked me to stay longer, hadn't I seemed happy? Had I made a bad impression?
Trying to regain myself, I followed him as he headed down the avenue that led to the residential area of the campus.
- “It wasn't necessary, I could have taken it myself if”-
- “Tea is a natural cortisol inhibitor and you should keep your levels low.”
I had to keep what low? Jesus, I wasn't sleeping well and I had so many thoughts on my mind but was I really in such bad shape he suspected I was unwell?! I looked at myself in the mirror that morning, I wasn't so horrible, I had also put on a cute new jacket.
- “It’s some kind of dyagnosis”
- “It's a lesson. You are used to doing multiple things at the same time, but add the load of studying and unnecessary activities, it means more stress on a daily basis and when the brain detects a stressful situation the HPA axis is activated, releasing cortisol. High levels of cortisol for long periods of time risk damaging the brain, changing its anatomy in some cases. Drink it, it can become a good habit” – he explained and my stomach did a flip.
I wasn't a kid anymore, but I had been taking care of myself for so long I wasn't prepared for that kind of attention. I had always taken my responsibilities seriously and he had noticed my efforts after just a month of working together, he had noticed what I did even outside of the tasks he entrusted to me. Tobert had never noticed anything, I could have been sick and he would have only noticed if I threw up on his shoes, for the shoes obviously, not for me. Yep, it was a strange comparison and had nothing to do with it, we didn't have that relationship, we didn't have a relationship, but it didn't change the fact he had been attentive to me.
- “... thanks sir” - I murmured, unable to formulate anything else, overwhelmed by a sudden sense of embarrassment and he smiled one of those absolutely inappropriate smiles, watching me suck from the straw to hide my lack of words.
- “You must be in a good shape” – his comment almost made me choke, but he didn't seem to notice, walking unbothered under the yellowing trees of the campus with his takeaway.
He hadn't said it in that sense, there was no sense, what on earth should I have been in shape for if not to work?! I just had to stop thinking and follow him. Yes, I had to, but I didn't know where and I was only realizing it now. In fact accepting without knowing what I was getting myself into, it was becoming a dangerous habit with him.
- “Where we going? The next meeting will take place this afternoon” – I remembered, trying to play it cool.
I was sure of it because I had checked before joining him in the morning, so as to know when he would be free and consequently I should be free too, but he had blocked me as soon as the lesson was over, while we were still in the classroom.
- “My apartment” – I heard him reply with his usual nonchalance.
The sound I made in response wasn't a word, it wasn't even a noise, I didn't even know what it was, but I started drinking my matcha again like my life depended on it because I definitely needed to lower my stress levels now.
***
The apartment the university had provided for Professor Reigns was nowhere near the dorms and had nothing to do with mine, in comparison I was paying for a stable to share. It was an big apartment, a real one, furnished and with all possible comforts, it had its own private parking space and a delightful view of the central building with its characteristic bricks and avenues. It gave the impression of a movie location, especially because despite being used by a man it didn't seem to be. It was tidy, clean, impeccable just like its current owner, there were even carpets. Professor Reigns had given me a copy of the key, so I could use his house instead of the office that was constantly besieged by students and once I had overcome the anxiety of being in his most private space, I was grateful to finally be able to study and work for him without risking collapse between lessons or unpleasant looks from other students.
With my laptop open and the last notes for the test I would have on monday in my hands, I heard the front door open and after a while I saw him emerge, his hand already scratching the beard that was starting to turn salt and pepper, in that gesture I had learned to decipher. He was incredibly dutiful, but seemed to have a limited social battery and quickly became disinterested in matters that were not indispensable or fundamental to him.
- “Something wrong?” – I asked, watching him take off his jacket to make himself more comfortable and go directly to get some coffee in the kitchen.
- “We have to review my agenda next week, some appointments are not really necessary and take up time from the research project for the course” – he explained and I hid my smirk, nodding with my head down.
Oh yes, that battery ran out quickly and he didn't even bother to recharge it. It was crazy how he was gifted with everything that attracted attention, but he didn't care. There were men who would have given anything to have a position like his and that kind of success in every field, when instead he kept his distance.
- “Chemistry?” – he asked, glancing at my notes.
- “I had answered all the emails and the outline for the next lesson is ready. I made a copy, it's in the other room along with the preliminary test drafts” – I replied quickly, closing the laptop, while he sat down with a sigh.
- “Stop making excuses Savannah, I told you to do it this way and you're doing it. It works, right?”
- “Yep… it's more comfortable than the office” – I nodded, seeing him mutter a "good" before silence fell.
I had been working as his assistant for a month now, trying to make the most of the opportunity he had given me, but I still hadn't been able to talk to him about why it all started and why I kept making excuses, even though he always seemed more likely to tease me than make me pay for something. I had prepared for that discussion, reciting it in front of the mirror, to my roommate, I knew what to say, in the beginning it had been the only reason why I had gone looking for him and yes, maybe now I could have pretended nothing had happened because we seemed to work well together, but I already had another pending conversation with Tobert and that was enough. I needed to get another man off my shoulders and another thought out of my head.
- “Professor” - I started, but he stopped me immediately.
- “Roman. At least when we're alone. I'm not a professor, I told you.”
Roman?! I tried to start a conversation that was difficult for me and he cut me off by demanding I call him by his government name?! It was a joke. As if I could ever talk to him with enough confidence to reach those levels! Yes, we weren't that far apart in age, I was sitting in his living room minding my own business, after the agreed time, while he was there sipping coffee in that decidedly too tight shirt and staring at me, but he was still a professor, a famous doctor. It was very clear in my mind whenever other thoughts crossed my mind: don’t push the boundaries.
- “I don’t think I”-
- “I do.”
Speechless, I watched him put down his coffee, those eyes that I struggled to get used to focused on me without the slightest intention of giving in, with the expectation of actually seeing me do it.
It was inappropriate. We didn't have that relationship, we couldn't, it was forbidden by university rules. I thought, I hadn't checked and I wouldn't, it had to be and even if it wasn't, my mama had raised me well. She had taught me to be respectful, not to put myself in unseemly situations, and calling him by his name seemed like the kind of thing that would push me over boundaries. Yet the idea of not doing what he told me, with his full attention, made me lower my head and nod.
I was thinking too much, he wasn't asking for intimacy, he probably just wanted some normality and I instead needed to focus on what I had to say to him to make things right.
- “I still haven't apologized for what happened the day we met” - I started again – “I... I didn't want to sound rude, Im sorry, my mind was somewhere else and I didn't realize I was actually there and not alone.”
I wasn't that kind of person, I didn’t like myself people who always made a scene, but Tobert had hurt me without even caring, I felt so humiliated and offended that I freak out. I still couldn't tolerate the thought of having wasted so much time on someone who after a month didn't understand I knew and kept acting as if nothing had happened. But I was trying to move forward, I was dedicating time to myself and not wasting it.
Something in the way Professor Reigns, Roman... looked at me seemed to change and I saw him tilt his head to look at me, thankfully without a trace of resentment to me.
- “It was quite obvious” – he commented at the end, almost with understanding and although I could finally have sighed with relief, I nodded, sucking my teeth before speaking.
- “I could have avoided it. It wasn't worth it” – I said, pressing the pen I was holding in my hand with annoyance.
Wasting tears on a boy – he wasn't even a man with his little shrimp between his legs – like that had been an insult to myself that I regretted terribly. I had known Tobert forever and yes, I had feelings for him, but he had never been perfect, not even close to being perfect, me more than anyone knew that. It was like adopting an ugly stray dog that you become attached to. The amount of stupid things he did or got involved in was unquantifiable and he hadn't mentally grown a day since we were sixteen. I couldn't continue to close my eyes, pretend I still didn't see like his mama, if after having put my future at risk to support him, he was now also disrespecting me sticking his little thing in every available hole instead of building a life together. The asshole would have paid me with interest, I would have made him miserable. I just had to figure out how.
- “You need help?” – Professor Reigns asked and I straightened my head, for a moment fearing I had spoken out loud, but he pointed to the notes in front of me with amusement.
- “Oh, no, absolutely not, I can do it by myself, in fact it's better if I go” – I hurried, recovering everything I had scattered around while he was away.
It was already enough to witness the process of him creating his lessons and preview his notes, I couldn't stay there and use him as a personal tutor when the week was already over. Plus it was also getting late and it was best to avoid staying until the evening, people loved talking about everything and he seemed to be one of the favorite topics for a good portion of the students on campus.
In silence, feeling his eyes on me, I put everything in my bag as quickly as I could to meet his gaze just before leaving.
- “See you next week then Sav” – he greeted me.
- “Have a nice weekend.”
***
After days Tobert decided to make himself heard. Our circus was doing great, it was actually the third time he had called me in a month and he had had the courage to ask me if I was thinking of coming back in the next weekend. As if I were rich or had someone to see again in that shitty city! But I knew why he was asking, unlike him I had a brain whose cognitive functions did their duty and by imposing calm to myself, knowing what I was up against, I had hit social media as soon as our unforgettable three-minute conversation was over. I obviously hadn't found any trace of abandonment syndrome symptoms on his pages, but another video had showed up, this time on the page of one of his coworkers who I had also known for years. A new butt in the background, the umpteenth night and I had started writing my confession to the police for when I’ll dissected him, I was ready to take my credit.
Taking me out to calm down – or more likely distract me from murder – had been my roommate's idea, but between tequila, spicy food and cocktails it had been inevitable and both Mya and my friend Shanice had joined, watching endlessly the new video sitting at the table of one of the many clubs under the Memorial Bridge.
- “You could wait and say no to him at the wedding” – Mya proposed, cleaning her fingers from the loaded fries with which we had tried to buffer the effects of the alcohol.
- “As much as I'm sure you'd be able to wait that long, he'd have to propose first and I don't think that'll happen if he acts like this” - Shanice echoed, shaking her head in disgust at the sight of Tobert enjoying himself without a single thought in his mind.
The proposal. I had never imagined such a moment, I was more practical than romantic, but I had always taken it for granted it would happen, sooner or later, because what other alternatives could we have after all those years together? The answer was more than I thought and they all led to that fat unknown ass that he was enthusiastically groping thinking I didn't know anything.
- “He's too miserable to afford a ring” – I reflected, downing yet another shot of tequila like it was water and both Shanice and Mya looked at me.
- “Damn Sav…”
- “Yep, maybe it's better stop drinking and watch it. Eats, is gonna help”
It wasn't the alcohol that made me talk, I was simply disgusted. There had been a moment, however brief, when I thought maybe I should give him a second chance, be the bigger person once again, for all the years we had spent together. The first kiss, the first time, I gave him everything, but that stupid asshole forgot everything as soon as I loosened the leash, to drool over a bunch of total strangers who wouldn't even answer the phone in a moment of crisis and certainly didn't know him like I did.
- “Is that…” - I heard Mya call me, pulling me by the shoulder and I turned to look, choking.
- “Why is he here?!” – I asked, staring shocked at the bar counter, where Professor Reigns was discussing with a group of friends.
With a beer in hand and a less serious outfit he didn't look like a professor at all, but rather the kind of trouble most women would look for, the red flag you hope for. He was smiling, joking, in the yellowish light of the place, with music and voices filling the room, I watched him captivated as he emptied the rest of his beer, those hands capable of feats in the medical field tightly wrapped around the bottle, his throat in sight, his dark beard. I felt like I could smell him even from where I was sitting, no chemicals perfumes, just the smell of him and it was a strange sensation that made my body tingle. I shouldn't have dwelled on certain details, I shouldn't have noticed them, but he attracted my attention like a magnet.
- “Well, he has a life outside of university, busy one too it seems” – Shanice noticed, eyeing him without the slightest discretion and she wasn't the only one.
We had only noticed him now, but he certainly hadn't escaped the eyes of the other women in the club. A couple of them sitting not far away continued to stare at him and chatter, probably waiting to meet his gaze for their silent invitation. I knew the moves well, I saw them every day in class and when we walked across campus together, more or less brazen attempts to which he didn't even react, almost as if he didn't see. And maybe it was like that or maybe he didn't stoop to pay attention to anyone because he was already taken, I had never suspected anything since I worked as his assistant, but a man like that had to be taken. He was the kind who would never stay on the market with that perfect body and a successful career.
- “You know, he could be your solution” – Mya mused, sipping her cocktail with a thoughtful face.
- “I know, that's why I keep working as his assistant.”
- “So you can smash him?”
- “What?!” – I almost screamed – “No! I was talking about exams! He can help me with my goals!”
- “Nah, stop it, you'll pass them anyway, your goal at the moment is to make that asshole of your boyfriend, ex or whatever he’s, pay and you could get revenge riding him. Mya is right. Sex helps with a lot of problems”
- “He’s a professor, my professor, a well-known doctor and Im his assistant.”
Hello?! Was it just me who noticed and had a problem with it? It wasn't something to do! It couldn't be! They shouldn't have suggested it to me!
- “More practical, no one will find out. You said sometimes you two worked in his apartment to.”
- “He gave her a copy of the key.”
- “Uh! Yeah!”
I had worked and saw his living room, nothing more and they knew it, I had told them!
… and also his kitchen, for coffee yes. And the bathroom, I went there too, but I spent hours in his house working, I had to use it sooner or later! But nothing more! I would never have dared, I was even careful no one saw me going in and out of there at inconvenient times.
- “It's on the campus, inside the university, y’all can’t be serious?!” – they couldn't make me think certain things, they had to support me, help me, not create bigger problems.
- “I would do it”
- “Same here. It's such a good idea!”
- “I mean, why not?! You get it?”
- “If not her someone else, take the opportunity sis!”
- “Louder!”
- “Ok, good, I've heard enough” – I silenced them, getting up and leaving my money on the table.
The weekend was already testing me enough, I couldn't stay there a second longer and put other ideas in my head, there were already enough of those on a daily basis and that I had to keep at bay without having received yet another delusion or getting drunk.
- “What? Where you going? Come on, Sav! Get over here” – Mya tried to stop me, but I had already taken my bag and jacket.
- “I'll take an uber, see you at home” – I said goodbye, taking my way out of the club.
- “Don't you dare start studying again!”
- “And don't open IG!”
I was no longer listening to their recommendations, too busy with my phone to understand how soon I would have a car to go back. In that part of the city there were many clubs, it was very busy, but to my series of bad luck was added the only uber available was fifteen minutes away from me and resignedly I tightened my jacket once outside, peering across the road, where I could see the bridge and the skyline over the dark sea.
This night had only served to give me other thoughts and certainly hadn't helped distract me from what Tobert had done, again. Part of me knew that if I didn't do something soon I would go crazy, every revenge deserved a plan to get some justice and satisfaction back, but I needed to explode, to punish him immediately for the wasted years and humiliation. Knowing he was out there doing what he wanted, thinking I was so stupid to don’t understand or find out, filled me with frustration. I was better than him and would probably be even better if I hadn't spent my entire life babysitting him, how could he even conceive of treating me like this? Me?! And with all due respect, for someone who seemed like the cheap experiment of a pervert who had never left home!
- “I thought you had an exam on Monday” – the tone scared me to death and I turned quickly, discovering I was no longer alone.
- “Professor!”
- “Roman” – he corrected me.
- “Yep… I have it, it wasn't a lie” – I hurried to explain and immediately bit my tongue.
I was justifying myself. In a very bad way too, I wasn't even credible and it was frustrating because it was clear I could have avoided it since being off campus wasn't a crime.
- “Breathe, you’re always so tense” – he suggested to me, his voice calm, low, so reliable.
Gripping my phone, I nodded, avoiding his gaze as silence fell between us and his words echoed in my head. I had the feeling the alcohol in my body had suddenly decided to make itself felt now he was there next to me, a mixture of anxiety and heat that went from my neck down to my chest, my belly and lower, made me feel vulnerable and certainly the conversation with my friends before leaving didn’t help. I hadn't thought about meeting someone I knew, I hadn't thought about seeing him or talking to him, I was just trying to get home as quickly as possible and try to sleep with one or better two pills to keep me out of trouble. My fifteen minutes of waiting, however, were becoming an eternity and my eyes went to the blank screen, a gesture he obviously noticed immediately. He noticed everything, always.
- “Are you waiting someone?” – he asked, checking the road.
I was far from home, on the verge of exhaustion, there was no one waiting for me. Just hours of studying and too many thoughts... maybe Shanice and Mya were partly right, it would have helped me distract myself with someone, but I had too much dignity to risk picking up another idiot, a life with Tobert had made me almost completely insensitive to men. Almost.
- “I wanted to go back to the dormitory” – I explained and he turned around again.
- “That's not the answer to my question” – his tone was more peremptory this time and I looked at his tense jawline.
We had gone from not having to give excuses to explaining why I was there with my phone without even noticing and the way he was standing in front of me was making me wish for more tequila in my body.
- “Im waiting my uber. It’ll be here soon” - I said, unable to look away now.
He was an exception. He wasn't one of the many idiots inside a club. He was a grown man, with a successful career, goals similar to mine, plans for the future. I knew all that glitters wasn't gold, I could see it in his brown eyes, in his dangerous smiles, in the way he seemed to capture everyone who walked by him into his orbit, but it was the kind of risk someone would even seek. And he was fascinating, so damn perfect he made the air between us and my legs tremble.
- “I'll give you a ride. My car is there, cmon”
Something in my head told me to accept immediately, a part of me even cheered at his words, the impulse that during lessons made it difficult for me to take notes and filled my mind when we were alone with thoughts I had never had for anyone else. My friends would have pushed me without even thinking about it and the alcohol was playing its part, but I still shook my head no, looking up at him from the distance that separated us in a weak attempt to resist and remind myself, him, there were boundaries I shouldn't have crossed.
He was my professor, he could have become my mentor, I would have gotten into trouble.
- “I can wait here” – I tried, but my words didn't seem to reach him.
- “I won't let you go with a stranger, get in my car Sav” – he decided for me, without listening any replies, taking a step in the direction of the street before looking back at me.
For a moment, I clutched my phone, praying for something, for someone, anyone, to interrupt whatever was going on between us, but it might have been fifteen or thirty minutes, nothing happened and I moved numbly, following him with my heart racing and sure I was about to do something I never imagined.
Tag squad: @sunnyfleur23 @racerchix21 @alyyaanna @expert-texpert @romanreignsdefencesquad @romanstheory @claymorexpunisher @keybladeofsteel @msbigredmachine @nayys-world @gobbersworld @utika151209 @cumxxslutt @civildawn @romanmydaddy @triscillal @papireigns-05 @helensanders92 @darqchilddaydreamz @unfriendly--blvck--hottie @nicolewoo @joannasteez @reignsx @kianaleani @daguenoire @extra-11 @333creolelady @snowpanda18 @brattyfics @mzv11 @romanreignseater @dreamsinfocus @vebner37 @depressedneedingrevenge @cyberdejos2 @mahi-wayy @jxtina-86 @harmshake @southerngirl41 @smile1318 @headoftheetable @sortudademais @wrestlingprincess80
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imagine-you · 4 months ago
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and that's why I fear it won't do [Logan/Reader]
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Summary: Part 5 of my Home 'verse. You're on the slow climb to recovery after finally ridding yourself of Sinister. Wade gifts you with a generous birthday present, allowing you and Logan to get some time away from the city and spend time alone together. You've started to heal, happy with the knowledge that your family has your back in more ways than one. But you never realized just how fragile your newfound peace is until a familiar foe from your old universe shows up, threatening to destroy everything you've fought for since escaping from Sinister. Word Count: 11.1k Author's Note: This chapter may contain: Fluff, Angst, A New Villain!, Surprise Cameos, An Old Friend, Familiar Faces, Kidnapping, A Tiny Bit of Spice, Healing, Reader Whump, Birthday Presents, and Wade Being the Best. Home 'Verse Read on AO3
You knelt at Sinister's side, clutching his hand tight. His smile was edged in blood and he let out a laugh, wicked and devious. "It won't be the last time you see me, Y/N," he swore, his gaze never once leaving yours even as his grip slackened. "I'll always be with you." 
You shook your head, defiant and sure. "You're dead," you protested, the memory of driving your hand right through his skull coming to mind.  
"Didn't I tell you that you were mine? My experiment, my toy, my weapon," he hissed, his grip tightening, painful and constricting.  
Between one blink of your eyes and the next, he was standing, his regenerative ability kicking in except for the hole right through the middle of his forehead. A bit of his brain oozed out of the wound, but he didn't seem to care.  
You were still on the floor, but Sinister reached down, brushing his fingers almost lovingly along your jaw.  
"I'll break you after all," he promised, sure and resolute, as he pulled you up off the floor.  
"Y/N, get away from him! He's--" Logan started, suddenly appearing across the room, before Sinister turned towards him.  
"I've had enough of you," Sinister snarled before snapping his fingers. Logan was suddenly gone, a pile of adamantium bones and blood and viscera splattered across the floor. "I think I have someone more suited for you," Sinister continued, barely giving you a moment to grieve before another Logan appeared before you.  
You knew, without having to have it confirmed for you, that this was the wrong Logan. The other Logan. The one who had left you so desolate and broken that you ended up leaving your universe just to escape him.  
There was a disinterested look on his face as he reached out to touch you. You flinched away, backing up until you ran into someone else.  
Nathaniel's voice was in your ear as wrapped his arms around you, restraining you.  
"First we'll break you," he whispered into your ear. "And then we'll remake you. You'll be ours forever." He looked up at the other Logan, sharing a grin with him, before the other Logan stepped forward. His hand was outstretched and getting closer to you.  
Panic lodged itself high in your throat and you could feel a scream building. "Go away! Don't touch--" 
"--me!" You yelled as you sat up, breathing heavy and heart pounding furiously in your chest.  
"Y/N?" Logan called and you looked up to see he was standing several feet away from the bed. His hand was up, stopped short by the forcefield you had erected in your sleep. The nightstand was left in a broken heap of wood on the floor, and you wondered if your forcefield had shoved Logan off the bed this time.   
You dropped the forcefield, bringing your knees up to your chest and curling your arms around them. You were aware of Logan cautiously approaching the bed before he sat down on the edge of it.  
"Another bad one?" He tried when you didn't say anything, watching you from a distance.  
You shook your head, finally looking over at him. There were so many things you wanted to say.  
He was there again. 
He killed you. 
The other Logan was there.  
Will it ever stop? 
What you settled on was: "I need you."  
You suddenly desperately craved the touch and reassurance of your Logan. You wanted to be consumed by him. You wanted your thoughts to be a blanket of love, want, need, and Logan. Just Logan.  
Logan watched you for a moment before he nodded his head. He crossed the distance between the two of you, pressing himself to your side. "I'm right here," he assured you before pushing gently at your shoulder.  
Logan was being so careful, but you didn't want that. You needed to feel the pull of him, drawing you in until you had nothing else but him.  
"C'mon," you urged, tugging at his t-shirt. "C'mon already. I need you now." 
Logan seemed to get the hint, because he covered you with his body, letting you pull up his shirt while pushing down his pajama pants. He managed to get his shirt up over his head before he started kissing down your neck. You gave up on his pants, since they were already halfway down his thighs, and grabbed the hand that had been clutching your waist.  
You placed it on your stomach before encouraging it to dip below the waistband of your shorts. Logan hardly needed any more encouragement to press lower, his fingers ghosting over you, leaving you aching and wanting. His other hand traveled up until it was curled lightly around your throat. You usually loved just the slightest pressure, the reminder that Logan held you so completely in his hands, but there was a buzzing at the back of your mind that gave you a momentary pause.  
You pulled at his hair, prompting him to direct his kisses back towards your mouth, letting his tongue sink in and taste you. His hand was still at your throat, the touch firm, but still easy and unrestrictive. You were more aware of it than you usually were, and you tried to throw yourself into the kiss, wanting to ignore anything that might make you stop.  
It wasn't until his thumb swept over your pulse that you realized why it felt wrong.  
"Wait, wait, stop," you breathed as you turned your head to the side, breaking the kiss. You felt all twisted up inside, knowing that the moment you were sharing with Logan was meant to be full of the love you shared, but all you could think about was Nathaniel holding you, constantly analyzing you.  
"What's wrong?" Logan asked, immediately moving to sit back, taking his touch away.  
"When I was...away," you tried, knowing that Logan would understand, "he just, and I, I just can’t..." You offered Logan a helpless look, not sure how to convey what was on your mind.  
Logan knew you, though, which was why he gave a determined nod of his head and then suddenly you were on top. You felt a rush as you adjusted to the new position, a surprised laugh startled out of you.  
Logan smirked up at you, outright pleased with himself. "Do whatever you want to me," he proposed, arching an eyebrow at you. "I trust you." 
You shook your head, overwhelmed with how much you loved Logan.  
"Use me however you want," he added, his voice low and dangerous, making heat pool low in your belly. You felt yourself began to tremble as he grabbed one of your hands, placing it at his throat. "I'm yours." 
You let your fingers briefly dig in before you replaced them with your mouth. You ran your tongue along his flesh before following with your teeth, delighting in the way it made Logan moan. You gave him all your attention, making a path from his neck to his chest.  
When you started lower, he shook his head, bringing you back up towards his mouth.  
"Tonight's about you," he rumbled before pressing his thigh between yours. "You go first." 
You felt yourself flush before you nodded your head. You brought one of his hands up to grip your hip, steading you as you writhed on his thigh, chasing a release you had only started to pursue. His other hand came up, his nails scratching lightly along your back. There was pure adoration and worship in his gaze, and you didn't know how you had gotten so lucky. Logan gave up control to you like it was nothing, but you knew it was everything.  
He had spent time as a lab subject for Stryker. If anyone knew how you felt, then it was him. He knew exactly what you needed, and the fact that he was providing it for you only turned you on more.  
You were close, but you knew you wanted more. Logan didn't protest when you rose on your knees, but he shot you a bewildered look when you grabbed his hand and tapped his knuckles.  
"Rip them," you commanded, pulling his hand to rest at your waistband. You knew that you could just as easily get up and take off your shorts, but you were desperate. You wanted Logan now. Any second that passed between the two of you where you weren't sharing the same breath, space, body just wasn't worth it.  
Logan easily obeyed and it took you no time at all before you were finally seating yourself, sinking down to feel the full weight of him inside you. Logan's hands were gripping your hips. He didn't urge you to move, but you could feel the way he was practically shaking beneath you, pent up energy begging to be released, letting you know that he was just as gone as you were.  
You pressed yourself closer to him, enjoying the feeling that had started to build low in your stomach. It was warm, molten, and spreading through you, begging to be set free.  
Logan let you set the pace, his hands wandering from your hips to your thighs and then lower back. You could tell he was beginning to lose himself, his head was thrown back and he was panting up at the ceiling. His fingers were now clenched tight in the bedsheets and you could hear the fabric begin to rip.  
"C'mon, let go," you urged, chasing your own end. “I want to feel you.”  
Logan was stubborn, though, and refused to fall without you. He brought one of his hands up, drifting his fingers around your knee, before slipping between your thighs. You felt pleasure shoot right through your core and you could feel yourself ascending higher, faster, with each sweep of his fingers. You rocked your hips into his touch, and it only took one look at his face, the way he bit his lip as he watched you lose yourself on him, before you tipped over the edge.  
It was a freefall, dizzying and breathtaking, and as you grasped at Logan, you knew he was right there with you.  
Awareness teased you in little moments as Logan took you in his arms. He put you on your side, facing him, carefully slipping free. He trailed kisses along your jaw up to your lips, waiting for you to come back to him. When you responded in kind, you felt the pleased rumble in his chest and couldn't help but laugh into the kiss.  
"What's so funny?" He asked, barely pulling back to look at you, his breath ghosting across your lips.  
You reached up to tug at his hair, delighting in his growl of protest. Sometimes, the line between Logan and Wolverine was blurred, and you loved him all the more for the distinctions between the two. "Next time," you whispered, brushing your lips against his, "you should wear the cowl in bed." That thought wasn't what made you laugh, but just the idea of it had a little thrill shooting through you, and you pressed your thighs together, savoring the feeling.  
Logan let out a low chuckle before he wrapped an arm around your waist, encouraging you to move closer, as if you weren't already pressed together. You let your right leg come up, hooking around his calf, before you pressed a kiss to his shoulder.  
Silence drifted between you, and you were half-torn between staying in the moment for as long as you could or finally letting yourself drift back to sleep. 
"Do you want to talk about it?" Logan sounded cautious, unsure, and you knew he was worried about breaking the contentment between the two of you.  
"Not right now," you answered, shaking your head. "I don't want to think about him or any of them right now." 
Logan didn't press you for more details. He simply swept his hand up and down your back, doing his best to comfort you. When he stopped, his hand resting at the small of your back, you chanced a glance at him to see that he was asleep.  
You let your head rest on his shoulder before you stared at the wall opposite you, trying and failing to forget about Nathaniel and the fear he had instilled in you. 
It was going to be a long night.  
The next couple of months were spent with your family. You had never felt so indulgent with your time, and while you had stepped back from being a hero, you knew that day by day, you were healing. Sinister had nearly succeeded in unleashing a much darker part of yourself, and while you knew you couldn't simply sweep the feelings he had evoked away, you were going to have to learn how to assimilate them.  
You let yourself do anything and everything you never had the time for before. You took Laura to the movies and amusement parks and on picnics. More often than not, Logan and Wade joined you, along with random guests. Wade was slowly but surely making progress with Vanessa and had opted to bring her along when you went to an arcade. You noticed their flirting, but when they disappeared for half an hour, clothing rumpled and Vanessa's hair tousled upon their return, you knew that they were back together. You had offered Wade a high-five, laughing in delight when he pushed your hand to the side and barreled forward with a hug, practically lifting you off your feet.  
It had been easy to add Vanessa to your little family. Once you got to know her, you knew why Wade was so in love with her. Lovely wasn't enough to describe her. She was gorgeous, clever, generous, and a whole host of other attributes that summed her up.  
She quickly became one of your favorite people and you knew without a doubt that the nightmare reality Nathaniel had painted for you would never come true. Wade had been right, Vanessa accepted you and if you were ever in need, she would never let Wade turn you away.  
You also set about giving Laura as much of a childhood as you could give her within a few months. She had been forced to fight practically her whole life, and while she acted like the family outings were stupid half the time, from the little delighted smiles on her face or the way her eyes lit up when you dared her to go on rollercoaster after rollercoaster, you knew that she was having fun. You supposed, in a way, you were also reclaiming a part of your past you had never gotten to experience.  
You had manifested at a young age, and it wasn't long before Charles and Erik recruited you for the X-Men. You had felt like you had been poured right into the hero role from birth and missed a lot of milestones on the way. Now, facing another birthday, you were glad that you had taken time away from saving people. It had given you the time to realize that you were the one in need of saving and you had your own team of superheroes who were all willing to rescue you from your own mind.  
Logan had also decided to bench himself, no longer caving when Wade came to him with a new problem that needed his claws. With time, Wade seemed to even understand, even if he didn't think it was a good idea.  
"I get you want to take a break," Wade said, letting his shoulder bump against yours. "I think this needs to be higher," he grumbled before climbing back up the ladder, helping you adjust the banner he had made for your birthday party. It was pink and sparkled with glitter and you knew that Wade was proud of it. "Look, all I'm saying is I took six years off after I lost Vanessa, got her back, got rejected from the Avengers, and then lost Vanessa all over again. And I was fucking miserable, even though I convinced myself I was fine. I don't want that for you, baby bird," he continued before jumping down from the ladder, steadying himself by putting a hand to your shoulder. 
"It's not forever," you protested, knowing that even to you the denial sounded weak. "It's only been a few months." 
"And that'll turn into years," Wade pointed out, turning back towards the table to grab streamers. "I swear to God, if I see you so much as look at a job application for Drivemax, I'm going to throw you at the nearest villain and let you fight it out of your system. That really did wonders for me." When you didn't respond, Wade sighed before throwing an arm around your shoulders, the streamers slipping to the floor. "I know you're scared after what that fuckbag did to you, but he's not coming back. And I don't want to see you suffer because of him." 
"It's not that I'm scared," you started, unsure if that was even true. "I just don't trust myself." The confession lifted a bit of the weight on your shoulders, but you knew it wasn't everything you were holding back. "How do I know that what he did to me, what he convinced me I was capable of, won't show up the next time I'm trying to play the hero?" You were worried that you would flash back to that moment in Sinister's reality where you had been ready to strike down someone innocent. When you had been ready to kill a little piece of yourself because he had gotten so far into your head and convinced you it was okay.  
"Allow me to paraphrase the ever-wise words of Chumbawamba. You get knocked down, you get up again, and you'll never let them keep you down. That Sinister fuck might've knocked you down, but you've got to get back up again. And as long as I'm around, you're never going to get knocked back down. I'll run every motherfucker through with my sweet katanas if it means you don't fall back down again. And maybe you don't trust yourself right now, but you can trust me. Hell, trust the munchkin and angry bear too. We've got your back." 
You turned to consider Wade, knowing that he was right. All three of them had been incredibly attentive, barely letting you get a moment alone unless you asked for it. Even then, they were close by, ready to back you up if anyone decided to attack. You knew you had family, and you knew you weren't alone, but you were still waiting for the other shoe to drop. You still expected to see Nathaniel again, but you just weren't sure when he was going to hit again, despite the fact that you had literally been covered in his guts at one point.  
"Now," Wade said, clapping his hands together, "I know technically you're supposed to wait for the party before giving out presents, but this one is just too good to hold back. And it's only so long before all the other fuckers get here or the munchkin and angry bear show up with food, so I should do this now." 
"Wade, you didn't have to get me anything," you tried to protest, but Wade shushed you.  
"Here, baby bird," he said, reaching out to grab your hand before depositing a folded-up piece of paper in it.  
"Uh," you started, staring down at it in confusion. "What is it?" 
"Fuck's sake," Wade groaned before reaching for it and unfolding the paper. "Ta-da!" 
You read the words on the page before quirking an eyebrow at Wade. "How the hell did you even pay for this?" 
Wade waved a hand at you. "Details don't matter. Let's just say Gambit knew he owed you one and he put his thieving ways to work to steal 'ol Chuck's credit card." 
"Wade," you admonished, but you couldn't help the laugh that broke free. "A B&B in Vermont?" 
Wade shrugged his shoulders. "Sure, you and Logan can commune with nature, do some meditation, get the angry bear to give it to you real good without the munchkin overhearing, and I'll babysit so you don’t have to worry she’s run off into traffic. And when you get back, we'll be a team again, right?" 
You realized then that Wade might have had more than one motive for getting you back into hero shape again. "We're always a team, Wade," you assured him. "But thank you, this is sweet," you told him before leaning forward and placing a kiss on his cheek.  
Your lips were still on Wade’s cheek when the door opened, and Laura and Logan walked inside carrying bags of takeout from your favorite restaurant.  
Wade gasped, pretending to be shocked to see them. "You weren't supposed to see such a blatant display of our love affair," he groaned at Logan. "Now he knows about us," he hissed at you, grabbing your shoulders and putting you in front of him facing Logan. "If you're going to get claw happy, you're gonna have to go through Y/N to get to me." 
Logan rolled his eyes before setting the food down on the table. "Bub, if Y/N ever left me for you, then hell must've frozen over, because there's no fucking way that's ever happening." 
Wade acted hurt, bringing a hand up to clutch his chest. "Oh, that really stings." Wade suddenly turned you around, gripping your shoulders and making eye contact. "I'll have you know I'm a very generous lover and I give good cuddle. Just ask Vanessa," he continued, ignoring Logan's irritated growl.  
"Ask Vanessa what?" Vanessa questioned as she stepped inside the apartment. She had an envelope in her hand and didn't look concerned at all that her boyfriend was completely in your personal space.  
You shook Wade's hold off and turned towards her. "Does Wade give good cuddle?" You caught Logan's eye roll, but you couldn't help the grin on your face. It felt so good to have your family in one space, and knowing that there were even more people on the way, all to celebrate you, gave you a nearly giddy feeling of anticipation. You loved your little fucked up family and you couldn't believe that they were all yours.  
"Oh, he's fantastic," she answered, reaching out to give you the envelope. "You should give him a try some time." She stepped forward and pulled you into a hug. "Happy birthday, by the way," she told you.  
You shot Wade a devious smirk before pulling Vanessa into a tighter embrace. "You know what, I think I'll trade in Logan if you trade in Wade, and then we'll get together." 
Vanessa laughed, pressing a kiss to your cheek. "I think I'm onboard with that," she mused, turning a thoughtful look on Wade, pretending to consider the offer. 
Wade strode forward, hastily separating the two of you. "You get your own goddamn girlfriend," he uttered with a scowl, ignoring your amused laugh as he pointed a finger right at you.  
Wade pulled Vanessa away towards the food and Logan approached you. He stood at your back, winding his arms around your waist and tucking his chin over your shoulder. You brought a hand up to rest over Logan's arm, giving it an affectionate squeeze.  
"I like seeing you like this," he whispered, making sure his observation was just for the two of you.  
"Yeah?" You asked, turning a smile over your shoulder at him. "Well, you'll really like this," you told him, showing him Wade and Remy's birthday gift.  
Logan raised an eyebrow, a bemused look on his face. "Just the two of us?" 
You nodded your head, shivering when he brushed his lips against the back of your neck.  
"A little romantic getaway," you mused, bowing your head to give him better access.  
Logan placed a kiss just beneath your ear, following it up with another at your jaw. "Just the two of us," he repeated, sounding pleased.  
You couldn't help but chuckle. "Is that what you're so excited about?" 
"No Wade showing up at the worst fucking times just to talk our ears off about inane bullshit? No responsibility or worries or having to worry about anyone else but us for a couple days? Yeah, I'm fucking excited to get you all to myself," he rumbled low in your ear, his grip on you tightening.  
"Hey, I'm about ready to stab myself in the eyes," Laura called, disrupting the two of you. There was a look of near disgust on her face, and you knew it was only because she wasn't completely fond of seeing her pseudo-parents ready to make out. "Want to get over here and cut this cake, or what?" 
It was then that you noticed the rest of the guests had arrived. Most of them were talking and laughing while Vanessa lit the candles on the cake. Alex Summers had arrived with Piotr, Negasonic Teenage Warhead, and Yukio. You and Alex had managed to bond over how much Nathaniel had truly managed to fuck over your lives and you were glad that he was another person to add to your little family. Blind Al, Dopinder, and Shatterstar had also shown up, even though you didn't know them as well. Dopinder had handed you a pair of airpods with a wink, prompting Wade to swipe them, muttering something about banning gifts covered in stranger's earwax.  
They were an odd group, but so full of love and understanding, that you felt honored they had let you slip in so seamlessly, as if they had been leaving a place for you all along.  
"We've been summoned," you muttered to Logan, delighting in the soft huff of his laughter against your skin.  
"Then let's not keep them waiting," he said, pressing a hand to the small of your back to urge you towards the group. 
Later, as everyone stood around the table and sang, wishing you a happy birthday, you couldn't understand how you were so damn fortunate. You were surrounded by people who had all shown up for you. Even if most of them started out as Wade's friends, you knew that they were now your friends too. You felt so complete, so involved, that you didn't know how Nathaniel had ever managed to prey on your own insecurities.  
By the time you were going to bed that night, ready to embark on your getaway with Logan in the morning, you felt so wholly loved. Everyone had stayed well into the night, sharing laughter and stories and memories. Once everyone had trailed out and Laura went to bed, Logan had pulled you into his embrace.  
“Let’s go to bed,” he suggested, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. “We’ll clean up the mess in the morning.” 
You readily agreed, leading him into your bedroom and shutting the door behind you. 
"I'm exhausted," Logan grumbled once he was lying down, throwing at arm over his eyes to block out the light.  
You reached out to turn off the lamp on your nightstand before crawling into bed. You rolled onto your side, throwing an arm over Logan's waist.  
"You're sure you're going to be ready to go in the morning?" You asked him, running your fingers lightly along his stomach.  
"I'll be ready," he assured you, stilling your hand with his only to lace your fingers together.  
"Good," you breathed, soaking up Logan's warmth. You felt your eyes slip closed, exhaustion creeping up on you. You wanted to tell Logan so many things like you were proud of him and you loved him and you couldn't have done any of this without him. Instead, you pressed a brief kiss to his chest, hoping he would get the message.  
From the way his fingers flexed around yours and the pleased sound he made, you knew he did.  
It was just before you were going to traverse the space between awake and asleep when another thought came to mind. "Logan?" 
"Hm?"  
"Make sure to pack the cowl," you told him, feeling a grin tug at your lips when he let out a surprised laugh. 
You didn't realize how much you truly craved having a couple of days carved out for just you and Logan. You arrived at the B&B feeling lighter than you had since everything that happened with Nathaniel. You were eager to check in and spend the next few days fully emersed in him.  
The B&B was beautiful and somehow Wade made sure that no one else would be there to bother you. The owner had left a key hidden in the mailbox for you and no other guests had rooms booked.  
The B&B was secluded, with trees backing the property and land spread out in every direction, unblemished by other buildings or people. A pond sat off to the side with a bridge that crossed the middle of it, before the grounds spread out into several walkways, encouraging guests to either take a nice stroll through pastures or trek through the woods. The air smelled clean, fresh, and you took in deep lungfuls of it once you stepped out of the car, disbelieving that you were getting the opportunity to have the run of the place with Logan for a weekend.  
There was only one winding road that approached the property, nearly a mile long and offering you something you never really got living in a big city.  
Privacy.  
One space that was only for you and Logan.  
You shuddered to think how much Charles had inadvertently spent on the getaway. 
You assumed you wouldn't even leave the bed the whole time you were there, but you ended up spending most of your time outside.  
You explored the woods with Logan and spent a night enjoying the sight of the night sky, content to simply lie on the ground and gaze at the stars. You watched as Logan took morning jogs around the property, sitting out on the porch in a rocking chair and grinning whenever he passed by.  
You even enjoyed a picnic by the pond with him as well. You made out with Logan on the grass, making a mess when you accidentally rolled over onto the pasta salad. You teased Logan, slowly pulling off your shirt before letting your pants follow, throwing them to the side. Logan tensed up before practically pouncing, sharing laughter and kisses before he grabbed you by the hips and trailed his mouth lower and lower until you were gasping and clutching desperately at his hair, using him as an anchor to keep you tethered as you fell apart.  
After, you pushed him into the pond, just to see him come up out of the water. His shirt was clinging to him, and his hair was a mess, and you had never been more in love with him. He growled, playful yet undeniably sexy, before chasing you back towards the B&B. You felt light, free, and you let Logan take you apart again and again, knowing that when you crashed back into your body with his touch guiding you, you would feel complete.   
You spent your last night at the B&B tangled up with Logan, so desperately enamored with him that you felt like you could hardly breathe with how much you felt for him. He had so wholly consumed your mind and your body and you didn't know what to do when he wasn't touching you, worshiping you with reverent kisses.  
In the morning, you knew that Wade had been right. You did need the time away with Logan, and thinking about going back and playing hero again didn't feel so terrifying anymore. You felt like you were ready to conquer anything as long as you had Logan at your side.  
The car was all packed up and Logan was waiting for you in the car. You locked the front door, before walking down the stairs towards the mailbox that was positioned just beside the porch railing. You left the key along with a thank you note inside before snapping it closed.  
You turned and took a step towards the car before you froze in your tracks.  
There was someone else watching you from just a few feet away.  
"Apocalypse," you breathed, terror climbing dizzyingly fast through you, sending your heart racing.  
Apocalypse merely regarded you with a cool expression, but you felt like you were about to lose it. Logan was already out of the car, but you didn't want him anywhere near Apocalypse. You instinctively raised a forcefield, cutting him off, keeping him safe.  
"I've been awakened years before my time," Apocalypse stated, studying you with interest. "My followers have informed me that Sinister has fallen and the world needs me now more than ever." 
You weren't sure how to process seeing Apocalypse again. You thought of the last time you had seen him, back in your old universe. He had left Scott crumpled on the ground, never to get up again, and Jean had unleased the full force of her Phoenix power, ending Apocalypse with Erik's help. Apocalypse had killed not only your universe by destroying its anchor being, but your old life as well. You knew the power he wielded, and you knew you weren’t nearly strong enough to combat it without a team.  
But now, it was just you against the one villain who had managed to take out the leader of the X-Men. He had killed countless others in your old universe and you would be damned if you let Logan become one of his casualties.  
"Why are you here?" You found yourself asking, knowing that Apocalypse must need something.  
It was when his gaze drifted towards Logan that you felt like your world was about to slide to a halt all over again.  
"I came here for my Horseman," Apocalypse claimed, not bothering to look at you, even as you shifted on your feet, readying yourself for a fight. "My Death," he continued, setting off a sinking feeling in your gut.  
"You can't have him," you snarled, beginning to form another forcefield. You were starting to panic, indecision weighing heavy on you, urging you to get Logan far away from Apocalypse. You let the forcefield begin to form around Apocalypse, intent on either collapsing it and hoping it left him a broken heap on the ground like he had done to Scott, or maybe using spikes to impale him.  
You didn't even get to figure out what you wanted to do, because suddenly you were on the ground. There was a forcefield surrounding you, pressing you into the walkway. You turned your head to the side, struggling to pull in a breath as it kept descending. You could feel it pressing into your ribs, feeling like they were going to crack at any moment.  
You cast a panicked glance over to see that both your forcefields were gone and Apocalypse held his hand out, obviously casting the one that was moments away from crushing you.  
"Stop!" Logan pleaded, rushing towards Apocalypse. Apocalypse easily threw Logan to the ground. Logan cast a fearful look at you before turning his attention back towards Apocalypse. "Let her go and I'll go with you." 
"No!" You cried out, but it came out weak and strained. You could hardly breathe, and you couldn't even move anymore. But you would rather die than let Apocalypse take Logan away from you.  
You felt one of your ribs give way and you didn't even have the breath to scream. You knew it wouldn't be long before the others followed suit, likely puncturing your lungs and killing you. You imagined your sternum cracking before piercing your heart, leaving you just as broken and lifeless as Scott had been.  
Logan was trying to get at Apocalypse, relentlessly attempting to attack him, but when he realized it wouldn't work, he rushed towards your side. He slashed and swiped at the forcefield with his claws, but it stayed intact.  
"Leave her alone!" He roared, panic in his eyes when he realized he couldn't save you. "I'll go with you. I'll be your Death. But you spare her!" He demanded, turning a wild look over at Apocalypse. "Let her live and you can have me." 
"No," you tried to deny, but it only came out as a wordless whimper. 
Logan stared down at you, terrified and heartbroken, and you couldn't believe how unfair life was being to the both of you. Logan was so willing to sacrifice himself just to see you live, but you didn't think you would live without him. You didn't think Logan would live without you either.  
"Very well," Apocalypse allowed before he dropped the forcefield.  
Logan was quick to try to scoop you up in his arms, but you hissed in a pained breath, every movement sending fire through your chest. He settled for letting his hands hover over your side and chest, as if he could simply will you to heal with only the power of his mind.  
"Don't go," you begged, attempting to sit up, even though it caused little black dots to dance across your vision. "Don't leave me," you reached out to grab his hand. "Please stay with me." 
Logan held on tight as Apocalypse reached out to put a hand on his shoulder.  
"I'll find my way back to you," he promised just as he shuddered. He threw his head back, gasping for breath, before he trembled. His head dropped back down and when he met your eyes, there was no recognition.  
His expression was blank, and you had never managed to realize that Logan always looked at you with longing, want, love in his eyes until it was gone.  
"Come with me," Apocalypse ordered, prompting Logan to stand.  
You reached out for him, your fingers only just brushing against his calf before he was gone.  
You stared at the spot where Logan disappeared, hoping he would somehow materialize again. But you remembered how Apocalypse operated. First, he found his Horsemen, and then he wreaked destruction on the world.  
You knew you were in shock, and you knew you needed to get up, but you couldn't move. Injuries aside, you couldn't believe that Logan was being ripped away from you again. You had just gotten back on track and now you had stumbled off again, directionless and getting farther away from where you wanted to be.  
A raindrop broke you out of your stupor and you turned your head to look at the sky. You didn't even notice the approaching storm, but even with the threat of rain, you couldn't bring yourself to get up.  
All you could think about was Logan. Logan, who now didn't remember you and was going on Apocalypse's crusade to rule the world. Logan, who had held you so lovingly in his arms just hours ago, telling you he loved you. Logan, who had promised to return, but with each second and minute that passed, you knew he wasn't coming back.  
By the time it was pouring and your clothes were soaked and you were in so much agony that you were shaking, you finally forced yourself to stand. You stumbled over towards the covered porch, a hand pressed to your side, and climbed the few steps that would take you to the rocking chair you had favored since arriving. You let yourself fall into it, sucking in an unsteady breath. You made yourself slip your phone out of your pocket, the screen cracked from Apocalypse's forcefield, but still working.  
Your fingers were numb and didn't want to cooperate, but you finally managed to scroll through your contacts and stop at 'Papa Deadpool.' Wade had been the one to enter his number in, but you never thought to change the name he had given himself.  
You listened to ring after ring, terrified that he wouldn't pick up. Your mind was spinning and you couldn't land on any sane thought that wasn't Logan or fear or heartbreak. But one thing was so ingrained in your brain by now that you were glad it had stuck despite the panic you were feeling.  
When your back was against the wall and you had nowhere else to go, you could always count on Wade.  
"Y/N, what the fuck are you doing calling me?" Wade asked, his voice playful and such a relief to you. "I thought I gave you explicit instructions to let Logan fuck you stupid, so this better be a butt dial. Although, if it is and you're doing what I think you're doing, then I don't want to know why your phone is anywhere near your ass. Unless it feels amazing, and you think I should try it on Vanessa. You know, I've always wondered, if you and Logan are fucking and you go invisible, then can Logan see--" 
"Wade," you whispered, heartbroken and desolate.  
Wade fell silent on the other line. "Y/N?" He tried, his tone now serious. "Where are you?" 
"At the B&B," you managed, wishing that you could stop shaking. You could feel your teeth begin to clack together, and you weren't even sure if it was because you were now freezing and soaked or the shock of losing Logan that was affecting you. "Logan, he's--" 
"He didn't hurt you, did he?" Wade asked, turning away from the phone to shout something at Piotr. He sounded cautious, a bit disbelieving, but you knew that if there was a world where Logan hurt you and you told Wade, he would have your back without a second thought.  
"No," you got out, having to choke back a sob. "He's gone, Wade. He was taken. And now I can hardly breathe, and I can't drive like this, and I just need your help. I have to find him." 
"Piotr," you heard Wade snap. "Put that down and get us wheels up in ten," he commanded, tone brooking no argument. "Because it's the baby bird and she needs wings," he barked, before turning his attention back to you. "Who took Logan? What happened?" 
You opened your mouth to reply, but nothing came out. Every pull of breath stung, and it felt like your chest was constricting, running out of air.  
"Y/N?" Wade tried again, his tone nearly pleading. "C'mon, baby bird, you're scaring me here. I'm gonna need to hear you talk." 
"Apocalypse," you breathed, feeling another swell of anxiety threaten to drown you. "Apocalypse took Logan. I couldn't stop him. He's too powerful. Last time I fought him, I had a team. I had...," you trailed off, not wanting to admit that it had taken Jean unleashing all her fury on Apocalypse to take him down. Erik had helped, but you knew Jean had dealt the brunt of the damage. She had been blinded with rage and kept at Apocalypse until he was nearly reduced to ashes. Erik had helped contain Apocalypse, but you were sure she would have been the one to deal the killing blow no matter what.  
"Shit," Wade groaned. "Alright, listen, I'm going to get Piotr to steal the X-Jet and we'll be there soon, baby bird. Hold on tight for me, okay?" 
You nodded your head, knowing Wade wouldn't be able to see the reaction, before hanging up.  
You weren't sure how long you sat there, watching the storm unfold before you. You tried to take steady, even breaths, ignoring the pull of pain and the way you were wheezing. You would need someone to help make sure your ribs could heal on their own and you would need to make sure more damage hadn't been done. Your thoughts were on Logan, so you didn't realize you weren't alone until Wade was kneeling in front of you, his hands on your knees. You realized he had been calling your name, trying to get your attention for a while.  
"Ah, fuck, what the hell happened to you?" He stood when he noticed you were finally looking at him and not through him. He reached out and grabbed your arm, pulling you to your feet.  
You cried out in pain, clutching your side. "Broken ribs," you gasped, letting yourself lean on Wade.  
"Let's get you out of here," Wade said, nodding at Piotr who was at the car. He was getting into the driver's seat, intent on driving it up the ramp that had descended from the back of the X-Jet. "And once we get you inside, you can tell me what happened." 
You let Wade lead you into the X-Jet. It wasn't until you were in a seat, Wade fussing over you, that you realized there was a stranger sitting in a seat on the opposite side of the plane.  
"Uh, Wade? Who's that?" You asked, pointing at the guy in a red and blue spandex suit with a black spider on the chest.  
"Huh? Oh! I picked up this kid in Queens. Thought we might need reinforcements," he claimed, glancing over at the guy.  
"Hey," the stranger said with a nearly bashful wave of his hand. "I'm Peter?" His voice sounded unsure, and unmistakably young, and you were starting to suspect he was a teenager.  
"Wade," you said, shooting him a disappointed look. "Did you kidnap him?" 
"What? Tony Stark did it in Civil War," Wade argued, gesturing at the kid. "We needed a team, right? So, I scooped up the little rugrat and brought him just in case we needed a little, y'know," he said before holding out his wrist, his middle and ring finger tucked under his thumb as he made a soft whistling noise.  
"Take him home," you demanded, shooting the kid an apologetic look. "He shouldn't be here." 
Wade groaned in frustration before nodding his head. "No, you're right. He's more sequel material, anyways." 
Once Peter was dropped off back in Queens, the kid even yelling out a ‘thank you’ with a wave of his hand, it wasn't long before Piotr was landing the X-Jet at the mansion. Wade helped you inside, and you were surprised to see Alex pacing in the foyer, obviously worried.  
"What's going on?" You wondered, knowing that it couldn't have anything to do with what happened to you. You had gotten closer to Alex, but you didn’t warrant nearly the level of concern he was showing.  
"Two of the X-Men were taken yesterday," Piotr explained, shooting Alex a wary glance.  
"Who?" You couldn't help but wonder, thinking it must have had something to do with Apocalypse. Had he already found his Horsemen? How long until you were all doomed? 
"My brother," Alex snapped, not bothering to stop pacing. "And his girlfriend." 
"Jean?" You had only seen this universe's Cyclops and Jean once and it had been enough for you. They were young, barely in their early twenties, their whole lives still ahead of them. They weren't nearly as powerful as the heroes you had known in your universe, but you hoped that they might have been able to help a little with the Apocalypse situation.  
"We have no idea where they are," Alex growled, visibly distraught. "The Prof has been trying to reach them, but he hasn't been able to yet." 
"Fuck," Wade moaned, glancing around the foyer as if he would find an answer to all of your problems somewhere. "We can't just catch one tiny break. It's like the author wants us to suffer." 
"Logan was just taken from me," you admitted with a wince. It was half from the pain and half from the thought that you would have to explain the situation to Laura. "Where's Laura?" You asked Wade, letting him start to lead you into the sitting room just off the foyer.  
"When I left her, the little munchkin was kicking Blind Al's ass at Mario Kart," Wade assured you, pressing a hand to your lower back, attempting to help you settle on the couch. "Do you guys have a medic or something? She's got some broken ribs that might need to get looked over. Make sure she doesn’t pop a lung or something." 
"I might be able to help with that," a voice volunteered.  
You froze at the voice, recognizing it as one of the last people you wanted to see at the moment.  
"Remy," you greeted, not even bothering to turn to look at him.  
He rounded the couch before sitting on the coffee table, ignoring Piotr's noise of protest. "Hello, chérie," he drawled, smirking at you.  
"What the fuck are you doing here?" You asked, glaring at him. "I thought you would've been long gone by now." 
Remy shrugged his shoulders, studying you. "Now that I'm free, I need a place to stay. Somewhere Sinister's friends won't bother looking for me." 
You scoffed, grimacing when pain shot through your side.  
"Let's get you fixed up, hm?" Remy asked, standing and reaching out to help you off the couch.  
Wade went with you, keeping an eye on Remy, as if he didn't trust him.  
"You know how to fix some broken ribs?" You checked, skeptical that Remy had any sort of medical training.  
"I've been injured enough times to know how to mend a few things, yes," Remy allowed with a grin. “It’s really not as bad as all that.” 
Wade helped you follow Remy, his arm gently wrapped around your waist, careful not to put any pressure on your ribs.  
"Why are you helping me now?" You couldn't help but wonder. Wade was your best friend and you knew that he was fiercely protective of anyone he considered part of his family. But Remy had kidnapped you and left you to become Sinister’s experiment. You couldn’t trust Remy just yet, but at least you could trust Wade to shoot him if Remy so much as looked at you funny.  
Remy shot you a glance over his shoulder, his eyes flaring red, before continuing to lead you downstairs. You knew he was heading for the infirmary, and you wondered just how long Remy had been staying at the X-Mansion. "Because of you, the Gambit works for no one but the Gambit now." 
You heard Wade snort. "Someone's still full of himself," he muttered, keeping his voice low.  
"Because of you," you snarled, wishing you weren't injured and worried about Logan, because you would have certainly been ready to fight Remy. "I can't get Nathaniel out of my fucking head. Because of you, I feel like he's always in there, ready to tear my mind apart all over again. Because of you--," you cut off with a whine of pain, agony flaring up from your side into your chest.  
"Easy now, chérie," Remy warned, stopping at the door to the infirmary. "You'll be of no use to your Logan if you hurt yourself even more." 
You wanted to argue and tell him that it was none of his damn business, but the fight had drained out of you. Now, you were exhausted and starting to ache from keeping yourself as still as you could, not wanting to aggravate your injury.  
So, you submitted to Remy's exam, aware that Wade refused to leave your side. When Remy lifted your shirt to get a better look at your ribs, Wade slapped his hand away, pointing an accusing finger at him.  
"You keep your damn hands to yourself, buddy. She's taken," he snapped, staring Remy down.  
Remy rolled his eyes before holding his hands up in surrender. "Do you want me to help her or not? I'm sure your friend would love that you let his girlfriend suffer." 
"Wade, it's fine," you sighed, inching your shirt up yourself. Your side was already bruised and even though the movement sent a blinding white light shooting across your vision, you were ready to let Remy help. The sooner you had a better range of movement, the sooner you could set about finding out how to get Logan back.   
Later, after Remy felt along your side, confirming that your injury was serious, but not fatal, he grabbed you an ice pack, advising you to press it to your side, and some pain medication. “You’ll need rest,” he warned you, “but seeing as your Logan is missing, I’m sure you’ll ignore that. Try, at least, yeah?” And then he was gone, leaving you to lean into Wade’s side.  
"Some help he was," Wade muttered, kicking his feet lightly before jumping off the exam table. "I could’ve figured that out by checking WebMD. Let's get you upstairs. Maybe we can figure out what the fuck we need to do to get angry bear back." 
When you got back upstairs, total chaos had descended on the mansion. Tensions were already high with two X-Men missing, but now there was yelling and Alex was cursing before something shattered.  
Wade led you into the sitting room from before and you froze just inside the doorway, staring at the five new people who were now there.  
"Cable?" Wade laughed before moving forward, clapping a hand to his shoulder. "Where the hell you been, loca?" 
Cable shrugged off Wade's hand, ignoring him.  
Your attention had been caught by the man lying on the couch. He was cradling a broken arm and littered in cuts and bruises. There was a deep gash along his side that was still bleeding onto the towel that had been placed under him.  
"Erik?" You called, cautiously approaching him.  
You had never seen him look so defeated.  
Charles was now situated near Erik's head, watching him with concern. There was also a boy and a girl, who looked like they were no older than twenty, sitting in armchairs by each other. The girl had red hair and the boy's hair was silver. The boy was angled in his chair, as if trying to shield the girl from the strangers in the room.  
Erik glanced up at you, frowning. "Who the fuck are you?" 
"I'm--," you started, before realizing it was useless. He wasn't your Erik and he wouldn't know you. "Never mind," you waved off the question. "What the hell is going on now?" You directed at Cable, growing weary of the questions piling up without receiving any answers.  
"En Sabah Nur," Cable answered, his voice gruff and irritated. "Or Apocalypse, as others might know him, has risen and taken a Horseman."  
"My daughter," Erik supplied, struggling to sit up, despite Charles' worried glance. "He took Lorna away from me, and when I tried to stop him, his beast did this. I needed to find somewhere safe for my other children," he added, nodding at the girl and boy. "I couldn't risk them either." 
"Apocalypse took Logan from me," you commiserated, "and broke my ribs in the process. He would've killed me, but Logan stopped him. He let Apocalypse take him in exchange for letting me live." You knew without a doubt that Logan had been the one to hurt Erik and you hated that Apocalypse was using him as his puppet.  
You felt your lips twist to the side, an instinctive reaction to the lump you felt forming in your throat. You wanted to cry and scream and throw a fit, because life was well and truly throwing you back towards rock bottom after you had worked so hard on clawing your way free. 
"Why is Apocalypse taking people?" The boy piped up, ignoring the girl's hiss of 'Pietro.' "He forming his own team or what?" 
"Something like that," Cable allowed with a nod of his head. "He finds his Horsemen and uses them to accomplish world domination. Apocalypse, if left unchecked, will rule well into the future. First, he'll take New York, and then he'll take the world. He'll set off an evolutionary pattern in which mutants are the ruling class and humans are merely subordinates. We have to stop that from happening." 
"How do you know so much about him, huh?" Pietro asked, tilting his chin up, defiant. "You two buddies or something?" 
Cable smirked, but he wasn't amused. "Apocalypse kidnapped me when I was a baby and infected me with a virus that was meant to kill me. In the future, he will slaughter millions, humans and mutants, just to ensure that he's holding the reigns. He's obsessed with the ideology of survival of the fittest and he'll do everything in his power to adhere to that, despite the body count he'll leave in his wake. So, no, we're not buddies." 
Pietro simply nodded his head, letting out a soft 'oh,' before going quiet again.  
"We know why Erik is here," you started, nodding at Magneto. "But why are you?"  
"He saved us," the red-haired girl chimed in. "Apocalypse was about to kill us all when Cable showed up and got us out of there." 
"And you knew somehow? That he was back?" You couldn't help but wonder, shooting Cable a questioning glance.  
"Yes," Cable answered. "Apocalypse wasn't set to wake for several more years. I wanted to find out what caused him to rise early."  
"When he took Logan, he mentioned that Sinister's death triggered it, because his followers woke him early. He wanted Logan for his Death, and now he's taken Lorna, so if he's using her as a Horseman, then he only needs two more. And if he's got Scott and Jean, then he might be ready for the next stage of his plan. It won't be long after that until he gets the power he's seeking. That's all he really cares about, right? Power and mutant supremacy. Once he has that, it'll be nearly impossible to stop him." 
Everyone was watching you with interest, including Wade, but it was Cable who spoke.  
"Apocalypse hasn't woken in over a century," Cable started, taking a step towards you. "How do you know so much about him?" 
"We faced him in my original universe," you confessed, resisting the urge to cross your arms over your chest, knowing it would only hurt. "He...," you trailed off, shooting Alex an apologetic look. "He killed Scott in my universe. And then that Jean Grey and Erik Lehnsherr killed Apocalypse." You shared a look with Remy, forgetting for just a moment that he was in the room. He would have known all about you and what happened in your universe with Apocalypse, since he stole your TVA file. "Apocalypse might not have succeeded, but he still destroyed my universe." 
"Fuck," Alex snarled, turning to hit the wall, his shoulders drawn tight with anger. "We have to get my brother back." 
"Well, how the fuck are we supposed to do that?" Wade wondered, gesturing towards Erik. "Jean's kidnapped, Magneto's useless, and Apocalypse, in case you haven't been paying attention, is powerful as fuck." 
You took a moment to consider Erik where he was on the couch. His face was twisted up in pain and Charles leaned over to murmur something to him. You could try to defeat Apocalypse with the team you had now, but you were terrified that it wouldn't be enough. This Erik wasn't in any shape to fight Apocalypse, but you hoped that you knew an Erik who could. If you missed the mark on this, then Logan might be lost to you forever.  
You couldn't let that happen.  
You turned to face Cable, knowing that you had already made up your mind. "I need a favor," you told him, knowing that if he refused, you would have nothing else. "I need you to contact someone from my universe. Magik," you added when Cable didn't reply, simply staring at you with an unnerving intensity. "Tell her that Y/N needs her. And to bring Erik, <i>my</i> Erik, with her. He stopped Apocalypse once, he can do it again." 
"And Jean?" Cable suggested, raising an eyebrow at you in question. “It sounds like she also had a hand in destroying Apocalypse.” 
"Leave her homewrecking ass at home," Wade scoffed, shaking his head. "We'll do this without her, right?" Wade asked, bumping his shoulder companionably into yours.  
You did your best to keep the wince off your face, both from Wade's words and the pain that shot through your side.  
"Tell Magik to bring anyone willing to help," you conceded, knowing there was no way in hell Jean would care enough to get herself mixed up with Apocalypse a second time. You never wanted to see her again and you were sure the feeling was mutual.  
With any luck, it would just be Illyana and Erik, and you hoped that was all you needed. Illyana was incredibly powerful in her own right, and you knew that if you got the chance, you would ask her to get Logan away from Apocalypse, since she could simply grab him and teleport him away. Multiversal travel, while potentially dangerous, might just be the answer you needed to save Logan.  
Cable finally dipped his head in a nod. "I hope you know what you're doing," he said before stepping back, giving himself enough space to consider the device strapped to his wrist. "Don't do anything stupid until I get back," he shot at Wade, ignoring Wade's indignant snort, before he disappeared.  
"Well, this just got anticlimactic," Wade muttered, nudging you towards the only free armchair. You shot him a grateful look as you dropped down into it, careful not to bend your torso too much.  
Wade left you with a pat on the shoulder, moving over towards Piotr. Erik and Charles were locked in a heated discussion and Remy seemed content to stand with his back to the wall, observing everyone as if he thought someone might attack at any moment. Alex had already stormed out of the room, but you knew he would come back. He wasn’t going to pass up any opportunity that might save his brother.  
"You mentioned Sinister," Erik's daughter pointed out, pulling you from your thoughts.  
You turned to look at her, seeing that she was already watching you with interest. "I did," you confirmed, wondering why she had latched onto that.  
"We knew him," she admitted, with a wry twist of her lips. "He experimented on my brother and me." She brought her hands up, palms facing each other, before slowly pulling them apart, a red glowing ball of energy appearing between them. She let it dance between her fingers for a moment before she waved it away. "Our father found us in a lab and took us away." 
"The Maximoff twins," you remembered, thinking of Nathaniel listing his greatest experiments when he had you strapped to a lab table.  
"Wanda," she introduced, gifting you a small smile. "I take it you were acquainted with him as well?" 
You couldn't help the laugh that escaped you. "You could say that. He was a fucking psycho." 
"And he's dead? Truly?" Wanda insisted, leaning over in her chair to consider you.  
"Killed him myself," you assured her, meeting her relieved grin with one of your own.  
"Good," Pietro piped up, sporting a pleased expression. "That fucker was sadistic." 
Your laugh was cut off by Cable reappearing in the room.  
You stood, disregarding the twinge of pain, as you faced him. "Well? Did you find her?" 
"He found me," a voice called from across the room. You turned to see Illyana standing there, her portal still open behind her. "And I brought company." 
Erik stepped through the portal next. His expression was grave, and you knew he had been clued in on Apocalypse's emergence in this universe. He spared a brief glance for Charles and the other Erik, who were both watching him in fascination and wariness respectively, before he approached you. He drew you into a hug, gentling his touch when you went stiff in his arms.  
"So, Apocalypse is back and your brute has been marked for Death," he murmured, leaning back to get a better look at you. "And you're injured. I don't know why I ever let you come back here." 
"Because I'm happier here," you reminded him, "most of the time. I just need to get Logan back," you added, knowing that you weren't going to be able to stop until you were dead, or Logan was by your side again.  
Erik frowned at that, and he grew tense. "Listen, I need to warn you--" 
Erik's words were cut off when the portal rippled and a woman walked into the room. She was wearing a yellow and green suit with a brown leather jacket. Her hands were covered with yellow gloves and there was a black 'X' emblazoned on the chest of her suit. But the most distinctive part of her appearance was the white strands of hair that framed her face, a shocking contrast from her natural brown hair color.  
"Rogue?" You wondered, shooting Erik a questioning look. "You had to warn me about Rogue? We weren't exactly friends, but it's not like I hated her either. She'll be a good addition to the team," you mused, already thinking of ways she might be useful in the upcoming fight with Apocalypse. 
"No, not Rogue," Erik allowed with a wince and you suddenly knew why he had tried to alert you about what was about to happen. "Cable said you were looking for volunteers and I don't know why, but they both were adamant about joining us." 
You wished Magik had closed the portal after Rogue, but you knew she was keeping it open for a reason. You had been stupid, naive, to think that it would be so easy. You had never once been fully granted a wish without multiple strings attached and as the air around the portal rippled, signaling another newcomer, you knew your plan was about to come crashing down around you.  
You felt your breath leave you all in a rush when Jean stepped through the portal. She was no longer pregnant, and she had her shoulders squared, as if ready for a fight. You hoped, prayed, that the portal would seal itself, but it allowed one more person through.  
The other Logan stepped into the room, coming to a halt at Jean's side. Magik closed the portal, sealing them off from their universe and effectively trapping them in yours. You felt yourself freeze, as if trying to evade a predator's sight, but both of their gazes unerringly found you. Jean looked nearly disinterested, but the other Logan's eyes flashed with something you didn't want to name.  
"Damn," Wade sighed before he whistled, shooting you a disbelieving look over his shoulder. "Now that's a cliffhanger."  Author's Note: So, there's a very real chance that this fic is going to end after this current arc. I'm not sure if that means the sixth one will be the last or if there will be an epilogue, but I'm sure this will have a sequel eventually, so I might nix the epilogue idea since it would be pretty final for this 'verse. That being said, I am working on mini fics based on the idea that the-gentle-spirit had with each Logan having their own Y/N. I'm hoping to post the first one (Old Man Logan) for my actual birthday later this month. I also have a Wade/Reader/Logan fic planned and I'm excited about that one. If you would like to be tagged in the sixth (most likely final chapter), let me know! If you want to be tagged in all my future Logan fics, let me know! I've got ideas, y'all, so this won't be the last time y'all see me posting about Logan. I think I just need a break from this 'verse since reader engagement has waned a lot since the first couple chapters. That being said, thank you to everyone who has shown this love and left me all types of amazing support and feedback. Y'all have really kept me going. Taglist: @wonderfrost @mrsyixingunicorn10 @blackbleedingrose @arrozyfrijoles23 @elianamarie-blog
@sarahskywalker-amidala @whiskytoast @shizzybarnaclee @zbeez-outlet @halepack2011
@facelessfionna @i-left-my-cat-on-the-stove @whyam1heree @serendippindots @janilovecookies
@4ria790 @lollipopsandstuff @jtthompson @id-rather-be-in-middle-earth @the-gentle-spirit
@hazel2928 @gothicknightz @mkay33 @bibblesdiscordkitten @albiofay
@songwizard // @kailera // @zeeader // @amandarobertsboyce // @shilohh28
@astudyoftimeywimeystuff // @whatthefawk-isthis // @loonalockley // @newromantics98 // @cherrypieyourface
@gigabitemyass // @yyhdl // @lunaticgurly // @starbuni // @quinnlyyy
@i-wear-wet-socks313 // @itsspiderluv // @slightlymediocree // (I just checked my tag list form, sorry y'all)
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halcyone-of-the-sea · 1 year ago
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Im so happy your write for Hesh!!! Could I request Hesh and reader who was training to be a ballerina before ODIN and became a nurse because she wanting to help others? I love writing so much!!!!
Dancing With Scalpels
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PAIRING: David 'Hesh' Walker x F!Reader
SYNOPSIS: It's strange, maybe you'll have to thank Hesh's dog for breaking his ankle - otherwise, you'd have never met him.
WORDCOUNT: 2.2k
WARNINGS: Broken bone, mentions of death, but mostly fluff
*I do not give others permission to translate and/or re-publish my works on this or any other platform*
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You hum as you organize your desk, taking up papers in your hands and sliding them under the metal holder of your clipboard with a clack of material. The medical ward was slow today, and while that was a good thing, it left you with little to do besides paperwork and re-cleaning your space. 
Glancing over your own handwriting as you carefully place the clipboard back down on your desk, you sigh and stretch your arms above your head. You listen to your bones crack before dropping them, eyes sliding around until they finally land on the picture, which sits on the tabletop like a silent reminder. 
It’s been about five years since ODIN struck, since the world shifted and broke, but you still find it in yourself to look back on the past with fondness. The images of your troupe, all dressed up in flowy finery and posing in your pointe shoes, were a deep comfort to you. 
Most of them were dead you knew, yet in that image, they still lived and breathed—had the sway of their feet and the grace of their arms to display to an awaiting crowd. Their smiles had never faded. As you stare at that picture, bodies trapped in time, you hear the stomp of booted feet coming in from your open door; ears perking and attention zapped away. 
The soft smile on your lips disappears, a sheen of professionalism coming back like a curtain over a stage. You blink and latch onto the shadow of a man who limps slowly into the view of the opening. He’s about to pass by, a large grimace on his stubbled face, before you call to him.
“Sir?” Your feet take you out from the desk, quickly skirting around the chair before you’re about three feet from the tall individual. “Are you alright?”
The man is in his late twenties, burly and strong with wide shoulders and the tapered waist of an athletic build. He’s wearing recon gear atop a gray jacket, staps and guards interlocked like the fingers of lovers while he struggles to properly place his left foot on the floor. 
Wisps of brown hair stick out from under a black beanie. It looks like he’d stopped at the armory first, coming here after dropping off his weapons. 
The stranger’s green eyes blink at you, the tightness of hidden pain stuck in the lines near his pulled lips. His strong jaw works, pulling a nonchalant smile that looks more like a poorly done wince. 
“Hey,” he clears his throat and has his hands clenched at his side. “Sorry about barging in, there any nurses available right now?” 
“You’re looking at one,” you tilt your head to motion inside of your room, hand coming up to rest on the wooden frame of the door. “Do you need help walking?” 
“Nah,” a wiry chuckle, gloved hand waving in dismissal. “I got here alright, I think a few more steps won't—” 
His limp foot catches on his good one as he turns, and with a panicked widening of his gaze, the brunette stumbles as a sharp noise of alarm echoes. Your eyes widen. Before he can slam his face into the ground and create more problems, you dash forward and loop your arms around his waist, his gear digging into your scrubs. You grunt and take the full weight of him for a moment before the injured man snaps out a hand to the doorframe and quickly struggles back to his feet. 
You stare and watch his cheeks go red, his eyes darting away with an embarrassed chuckle. 
“Ah…sorry about that, Sweetheart.” You huff and cross your arms. 
“Quite the show for ‘I think I’ll be just fine.’” A flash of a smirk goes across his square jaw.
“Well, maybe your beauty just made me lightheaded.” At your unimpressed stare, he shakes his head and questions, “That bad?”
“Very,” you joke, smiling and rolling your eyes. “C’mon, let’s get you looked at before you end up breaking your nose, Soldier.” 
“Sounds like a plan, Ma’am.” You hook an arm around his waist and let him lean on you, his limb resting along the span of your shoulders and his injured leg weakly trying to help you along. Halfway to the examination table, he grunts out, “Name’s Hesh by the way—don’t think we’ve met before.”
You smile and say your name. “Transferred in from Dallas two weeks ago. Was told you needed more nurses here after a Federation attack near the Wall.”
“Then you were told correct, thanks for stepping up.” He’s set down with a huff and a grimace, his eyes swimming with annoyance at his leg. “Damn thing.” 
You turn and wash your hands in the sink, slipping on sterile gloves as Hesh undoes his laces. 
“Sorry for droppin’ in like this, I tried to play it off but I think it’s broken.” You look over your shoulder and tense—the pale skin of his ankle was a deep black and blue, and the foot was somewhat twisted to the side. 
“Well, shit,” you curse and Hesh blinks up at you sheepishly, sending a stiff smile. “It’s good you came by when you did. What happened?”
The man’s hand goes to run over the back of his neck. He seems highly embarrassed about something.
“Ah, well,” he plays off a small twitch of his lips, “Riley, my K-9, he, uh…he managed to dart after a hostile before I could see him. Shoved me right to my ass and down a ravine in the process, actually.” 
You have to put your wrist to your mouth to stifle a giggle, kneeling down to gently grab onto the affected limb. 
Hesh takes in a tiny breath as you gently move the appendage, grumbling through a strained smile. “That funny, Doll?”
“Well,” you easily detail, “all I’ll say is that I’m sure it was something to see firsthand.”
“Tell that to Logan, my brother wouldn’t shut his mouth about it all while draggin’ me back. You try listenin’ to him while you’re half passed out—that was even worse than the pain.” You hum, chuckling.
This Hesh character was quite the casual talker, conversation with him came easily. You touch the skin of his ankle and quietly apologize when he hisses, noticing the swelling of flesh and sighing. Moving it from side to side and asking him if he’d broken his ankle before.
He answered in an affirmative—playing football in high school.
“Sorry to say this, but you’re right, Hesh, definitely broken. I don’t need to see an X-ray to know that.” He groans lowly. “Let’s get this all sorted and get you out of here, hm?” 
There’s a long sigh. 
“...Yes, Ma’am.”
Over the course of hours, you take various X-rays and scans, looking for the point of most contention and finding it in the form of a break in the lower tibia; it was clean, luckily for him. No bone shards or anything of that sort.
“I’m beggin’ to know if I need surgery, Sweetheart.” Green eyes lock with yours as you push him back into your office, the wheelchair squeaking under him. You smile gently at a few other nurses who pass—they nod back with a teasing smile at the man below you. “I’m on the edge of my seat, here.”
“I’m not the doctor, Hesh,” you chuckle, tilting your head. “I legally can’t tell you that.”
“Legally?” His brow raises. “C’mon, the world fell apart—there’s no Risk Management anymore.”
“Are you sure Riley didn’t intentionally push you over the edge of that ravine?” Your eyes narrow, a joke in your eye. 
A slow smile grows on Hesh’s lips. “That hurt, Ma’am.” 
You scoff and shake your head, wheeling him into the previous room and leaving him to go to the paperwork on your desk. Grabbing it, you open your top drawer and deposit it away for another time. Gliding up beside you, Hesh sighs and glances around as you tidy up. 
His eyes find the framed picture on your desk. 
“Whoa,” the brunette utters, locking onto your form in the middle of the group. You blink and look to the side, noticing his staring. Face going hot, you raise a brow in question. “That you?” 
Hesh wheels slightly closer, leaning forward but respectfully not touching any of your things. You restrain a wide smile at his intrigue. 
“Why else would I have a framed picture of ballerinas on my desk, Hesh? Of course, it’s me.” You pick up the frame and tilt it his way, resting your hip on the side of your desk as he takes it gently, delicate with your belongings. “Two years before ODIN—we were in Europe for a competition.” 
“Shit,” he mutters, sliding you an awed glance. “You must be really good.”
“Was,” you laugh, shrugging. Hesh confusingly looks up while you explain the best you can. “It’s been so long, plus I gave it up when everything went down; went to get my qualifications to be a nurse and help out.” Hesh looks a bit sad at that, sneaking a glance back down at your bright smile in the picture. 
“Looked like you loved it,” he commented, handing the frame back after a moment of thought. “I’m sorry.” 
You’re slightly taken aback by the apology, oddly touched by his sudden seriousness about this. After a slow inhale, you hum. “It’s alright, Hesh. That’s just life—it’ll take us places even if we want to go or not. We just have to make the best of it.” 
“You’re happy, though, Sweetheart,” he asks, eyes not faltering, “right?” 
It’s not a feeling of uncertainty that makes you hesitate, it’s the way he asks you so genuinely; honest with his intentions. Rarely have you had people—soldier or civilian—come in here and speak to you like this. You stare with slightly-parted lips.
A bashful smile blooms on your lips. 
“When I’m helping patients like you, Hesh, yes. Yes, I’m happy.” The man stares a moment longer before he clears his throat and glances down, contact broken; a crimson sheen infects his face. 
“Good. That’s good.” Even if he’s not looking at you, a grin still twitches his lips; making your face go heated and warm with something else entirely. Hands stuttering over your frame, you put it down where it was and lick your lips, smiling at the tabletop. 
When the doctor comes in, you let Hesh speak and pipe in with anything you needed to include, the air suddenly tinged with something between you and the soldier that you can’t put words to. It’s so potent even the doctor sends you a raised brow on the walk out. You avert your eyes and itch at your cheek. 
“Least I’ll be able to get back out in the field quicker,” Hesh sighs, taking off his beanie for a moment before itching at the top of his head. “If I’d of had to go under, Logan would never let me hear the end of it.”
“You and your brother sound like you’re constantly nagging at each other,” you huff. 
“Shit, what else are we good for?” The both of you share a laugh, eyes crinkling. There’s a moment of intimate silence before Hesh splays his hands and speaks.
“I’m gettin’ a splint, then?” You internally curse yourself as Hesh’s lids narrow on you, head tilting with a deep smirk. The trance is broken.
“Until the swelling goes down,” your head nods, fingers motioning to his ankle. “Then a cast for twelve to sixteen weeks.” 
“Hm,” Hesh looks away and thins his lips, seriousness slipping back into his expression. 
Staring, you ask carefully, concerned, “Hesh?”
“No,” he shakes his head, the smirk coming back as if it never left, “No, it’s just that’s a long time to not be able to take you out, is all.”
Your face blanks, heart all but stopping in your chest. The man watches you closely, slowly slipping his beanie back on his head with an innocent smile.
“Too forward?”
“N-no,” you stutter, face heating to an alarming degree. “No, I think that one was just right.” 
Shaking your head quickly you brush down your top and listen to Hesh’s bright chuckles as you gather your bearings. It’s after you sigh and look back into those greens that you laugh and utter, “I think I’d be willing to wait.”
“Oh, yeah?” Your face can’t stop smiling at the teasing tilt to his words. “Now, I’d hate to make you sit around that long, Sweetheart.” “Hesh, I’m agreeing to go out on a date with you, take it or leave it,” you huff in exasperation, staring at him with a loose expression. 
His eyes lighten, the stain of happiness leaking through.
“You proud of yourself?” 
Hesh looks smug, but promptly states, “Didn’t think I’d get this far, if I’m bein’ honest.”
You press a hand to your mouth to stifle your loud laugh.
As promised, fifteen months later, there’s a knock on your office door—you stand and think nothing, opening the barrier only to find a large bouquet of flowers and the man holding them up to you. 
Your face softens and Hesh returns a warm hum of greeting. 
“Hope you’ll forgive me for bein’ late, Doll,” his eyes crinkle. “Was learnin’ how to dance. C’mon, I got some moves to show off—we’ll get you back in those pointe shoes in no time.”
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TAGS:
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parismemes · 4 months ago
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SENTENCE STARTERS FROM EPIC: THE MUSICAL - THE WISDOM SAGA
LEGENDARY
"It's just me, myself and I."
"I'm stuck with your stories, but no clue who you are."
"Come and give me a sign."
"If I fight those monsters, is it you I'll find?"
"I know life and fate are scary, but I wanna be legendary."
"There are strangers in our halls."
"It's not much longer we can stall."
"They're getting impatient. Dangerous, too."
"I would fight them if I was half as strong as you."
"Somebody help me!"
"Come and give me the strength."
"Can I do whatever it takes to keep my mom safe?"
"Where is he?"
"Give me a chance. A single opportunity."
"Don't you dare call my mother a tramp!"
"What'cha gonna do about it, champ?"
LITTLE WOLF
"Wanna entertain me?"
"Let's see how you take this."
"You've made your worst mistake here."
"You'll have run out of bones to break when you and I are through."
"I'll teach you all the lessons your daddy never could."
"This cruel world doesn't give out presents just for being good."
"Don't you know it's fight or fly?"
"Run away before you die."
"Need some help?"
"What's going on here?"
"I suggest you fight back."
"Uppercut him. Now."
"Woah, that is so sick!"
"Let's try this again."
"I've no respect for bullies."
"Let's teach this dog a lesson in front of all his kind."
"One young wolf has a larger heart than all these men combined."
"Show them that you've got some bite."
"Don't go down without a fight!"
"...Maybe I pushed you a bit too hard."
"Go back and cry in your corner."
"Tell me why you came to my aid."
WE'LL BE FINE
"I had a friend before, and he was a lot like you."
"Maybe, if I'd made a different call..."
"I don't know who your friend is."
"My time with you's been splendid."
"I got in a fight and I didn't die!"
"I've never felt strong before."
"You're my friend, I couldn't ask for more."
"Maybe it's time that you lend a hand."
"If not his friend, then mine."
"Maybe to fall is to learn one way."
"Maybe it's all gonna turn out great."
"I know we'll be fine."
"I know it's light you'll find."
"You're a good kid."
LOVE IN PARADISE
"Old friend, it's been ten years since I last saw you."
"Let's see where you've been."
"Where did you go?"
"Morning, sleepyhead! You've been resting for a while."
"Did you know you talk in your sleep?"
"I've got all you could want here!"
"Just you and me, my dear."
"Soon into bed we'll climb, and spend our time..."
"I'm not your man."
"I'm what you want."
"From here on out, you're mine."
"Hell no, I could kill you where you stand!"
"Last I checked, goddesses can't die."
"We've got all we could want here."
"No one can come or go."
"I don't belong here!"
"There's something wrong here."
"Time can take a heavy toll."
"All I hear are screams."
"Get away from the ledge."
"You don't know what I've gone through."
"You don't know what I've sacrificed."
"Come back inside, dear."
"Let me close my eyes."
"I'll stay inside your heart."
"Life would be so much worse if you had died."
"Stay in my open arms."
"He needs my help."
GOD GAMES
"Rarely do I ask for favors."
"Divine intervention; is that what you seek?"
"You're playing with thunder for a man full of shame."
"Why not make it a game?"
"Bring it."
"We all know I'm a fan of catchy songs."
"All he did was reimburse them."
"Trust is not given, it's forged."
"Why should I give him my support?"
"If you make the right decision, he can still build a future with those who miss him."
"He was busy fighting."
"Let him feel the pain that his mother felt and rot."
"Please reconsider this!"
"Really, ___, these old tricks?"
"What kind of sick coward holds back his power?"
"Tell your lover that a broken heart can mend!"
"To get back to his homestead, he'll make everybody bleed."
"He's got the mind of a genius."
"I've played your game and won!"
"You dare to defy me?"
"No one beats me."
"Bring her through the wringer."
"Is she dead?"
"Let him go, please!"
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ahgasegotarmy116 · 9 months ago
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Still With You | A Jeon Jungkook Series | Chapter Seven
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Summary: Jungkook introduces you to his Hyungs but his jealous streak comes out and shows you the worst of him Pairing : Luna (reader) x Jungkook and Jimin, f2l love triangle Word Count: 4.5k~ Warnings: JEALOUS JUNGKOOK like I mean jealous, possessive, territorial the whole nine yards (and it's pretty hot ngl lmaooo) which leads into an argument, explicit language (I think?) making out and all that stuff a/n: I have part one through eleven written already so I figured I would just post this to fill up some space until the next update for my other stories :) Start from the beginning
As Jungkook leads me towards his hyungs I feel myself getting a little anxious. I know I'm safe with Jungkook but I'm on edge nonetheless since I'm still not sure why we're here. The guys turn their backs and start walking towards the building behind them and we follow close behind.
Looking around I notice that this place almost looks like the bare bones of a warehouse but from the looks of it someone has been working on remodeling it. 
Once we get to the back Namjoon opens a door and leads us down a set of stairs onto what looks like a boardwalk. I knew we were getting close to the coast but I didn't realize we could get to a place like this so quickly. 
As we make our way down the boardwalk I take that time to look at all the little shops lined up on either side of us that have been long forgotten and start to imagine what this place might've looked like in its heyday.
Getting too lost in thought I feel myself trip on a loose board, and before I even have a chance to react I feel a pair of hands on my waist steadying me before I fall.
"Hey daydreamer, you alright?" Tae says with an amused smile. "Yeah, sorry" I say, quickly tucking a stray strand of hair behind my ear that had fallen out of place. "You don't need to apologize" he says warmly "Just watch your step okay? Do you want to hold my hand just in case?" he offers. 
"No she's fine, I'll help her" Jungkook says coming out of nowhere and pulling me in by my waist from behind. With my back now up against his chest and his arm wrapped around my waist protectively I give Tae an awkward smile but I can see from his expression that he's clearly enjoying Jungkook's reaction. "Let me know if you change your mind" he says sending a not so subtle wink my way and giving Jungkook a devilish smile clearly taunting him. 
"What is this place?" I ask aloud in hopes to direct Jungkook's attention to something other than boring holes into the back of Tae's head. "It's an old boardwalk that my uncle just bought" Namjoon answers having overheard my question. 
"It used to be super popular back when he was younger but I guess people stopped coming once that new shopping mall opened up a couple of miles down the road. They ended up losing too much business so they finally closed up about 20 years ago, it's kind of been frozen in time ever since. He just started working on restoring it and he finally finished the arcade about a week ago, so I thought I would finally invite you guys to come and check it out!" he continues. He seems to be putting on a laid back act but I can tell he's really excited to show us.  
I look up at Jungkook with my back still pressed against his chest and notice that he hasn't made an effort to follow the guys into the arcade. "Is everything alright?" I say seeing his jaw clenching. "Jungkook" I say hoping to bring his attention back over to me. 
"Huh? What? What'd you say?" he says finally breaking out of that possessive headspace. "I asked you if everything was alright? You seem a bit tense" I say turning around to face him. "Everything's fine, it's just, I didn't like the way he was looking at you" he says finally admitting to his jealousy. 
"I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it, from my perspective it seemed like he was trying to get a reaction out of you and you gave him exactly what he wanted" I say placing my hand on his arm.
"Kook I'm here with you. I came to meet your friends but I promise you, you have nothing to worry about" I say looking into his eyes trying to convey my sincerity. He looks away from mine and huffs, "Maybe it wasn't a good idea to introduce you guys".
"Aw come on they're harmless!" I say laughing at how moody he's been ever since we got here. "Plus Tae was just trying to make sure that I didn't fall" I say explaining the situation. "Yeah I know, I saw" he says looking back down at me. "So then why are you still upset?" I ask hoping to help him make sense of situation. 
"I didn't like the way he was touching you either" he says, continuing to justify his reaction. "Oh come on it wasn't that bad, see?" I say placing his hands where Tae had touched me. Looking back up at him I now realize what he meant, and feel my heart rate pick up under his gaze. 
"See" I say, clearing my throat, "It's nothing" I continue trying my best to convince him. He looks down at me and I can feel my skin burning up from the intensity of his stare, and then let out a small gasp as he quickly pulls me in by the waist.
"Now is it nothing?" he says into my ear in a tone that wakes up all of my sense. "Tae didn't do this" I respond in a breathless tone feeling the mood change drastically.
"Yeah, but he could've" he says continuing to speak directly into my ear, feeling his warm breath fanning my neck. He leans in closer and I soon feel his soft lips placing feather light kisses on my neck and now exposed shoulder. 
"Jungkook" I choke out trying to keep a level tone. "What if someone sees?" I continue once I realize he isn't stopping. "Good, because then they'll know who you belong to" he says stopping his kisses only long enough to respond. He increases the intensity of his actions and walks towards me placing my back up against the wall of the building behind me. 
I hiss slightly once I feel him start to bite and suck one spot, now realizing what he's doing. Before I'm given a chance to protest he crashes his lips against mine, swallowing the beginnings of an argument. 
The kiss is rough from the very start, feeling him kiss, bite and suck on my lips with more intensity than I've ever felt. I try to suppress a moan from coming out but it's impossible from the way he has my head spinning. 
Feeling myself running out of breath I press on his chest firmly and he pulls away from the kiss, resting his forehead against mine. Looking into his eyes and seeing the way he's looking at me makes it even harder to breathe let alone think and before I have a chance to say anything he whispers "Mine".
"Hey are you guys coming in or what?" Jin yells from the doorway. Jungkook takes a deep breath and calls out "Yeah we'll be there in a minute Hyung" not making efforts to move away from me just yet, but nonetheless Jin in turn retreats inside. 
"I don't want anyone else touching you like this. Do you understand?" He says firmly. "Jungkook I already told yo-" I start in protest still feeling breathless. "I don't care. I just want you to know that I don't want anyone else being this close to you" he says cutting me off and making his stance clear. 
"Okay" I respond, not really knowing what else to say. "But did you really have to give me a hickey to prove your point?" I question rolling my eyes at him.
"No, but it was a nice touch" he says with a smirk rubbing his thumb over the mark. "Oh so giving me swollen lips from making out wasn't gonna be enough for you?" I call after him as he walks away towards the arcade. "Nope" is all he bothers to say before opening the door and waiting for me to catch up. 
"You're insufferable" I say as I walk past him and he gives me a light slap on my ass in response. I glare at him but am cut off before I can even utter a word of scolding by Namjoon asking me to come and play a basketball game with him. Gladly accepting I take the first chance I have to escape Jungkook before giving it a second thought. 
"Have you played this game before?" he questions and then glances down at my neck where I can only assume is the place where Jungkook's mark has started to bloom.
"Uh yeah I have" respond shortly, turning away from him to place it out of his line of sight. He starts the game without any other questions and we keep going until the timer runs out. 
"Yes!" he says exclaims in victory. "Yah!" Jin exclaims, having seen the exchange. "Don't be rude, you challenged her to your favorite game so of course you won" he further scolds. "It's okay Jin, I'm not very good to begin with but it was still fun!" I say trying to lighten the mood. 
"Why don't you pick out a game and then we'll see who wins next" he says giving me a genuine smile which happens to be accompanied by two adorable dimples. "Sure! Best two out of three?" I propose excited for another chance at victory. "Best two out of three" he repeats in agreement. 
"I would propose to play a few more but my guess is that he won't let me keep you for that long" he continues, nodding his head towards Jungkook who has his eyes trained on the both of us. "He can get over himself" I say turning back towards Namjoon. 
"Now, what would you say to playing a round of Guitar Hero?" I ask excitedly. "I would say I should just accept defeat right away" he admits laughing at his lack of luck with said game. "Oh come on it'll be fun!" I say trying my best convince him to play. "Alright let's get this over with" he says shaking his head and laughing, knowing the future result.
"Man... you really do suck at this game Hyung" Tae says after watching the beating Namjoon just took from me. "Hey he tried his best" I say placing a hand on his shoulder trying my best to keep my composure.
"It's okay Luna you can laugh" he says giving me a painful smile. I can't help but break after being given permission and feel Tae joining right along side me as we laugh for a bit at Namjoon's clumsiness. 
"I'm sorry Namjoon" I say, still trying to calm down. "It's okay, and call me Joon okay? Namjoon sounds way too formal coming from you" he says playfully.
"Alright Joon" I start, complying with his request. "What should our tiebreaker game be?" I ask, feeling the tingling sensation of victory continue to run through my veins. "Hmm" he says looking around the room before laying his eyes on a particular spot. 
"Air hockey?" he suggests. I can see from his expression that he's trying to hide his confidence under an indifferent demeanor but what he doesn't know is that I haven't lost a game of air hockey in 7 years. Even Jungkook with his competitive spirt refuses to play with me anymore. "Sure, why not?" I respond following suit in trying to conceal my excitement.
Walking up to the table I look over at Jungkook and see he's still there watching me closely and I can see a smirk slowly growing on his lip. I don't make an effort to give him a reaction in return and turn back towards the table to grab a hold of the mallet. I feel the air turn on and notice that the puck comes out on Namjoon's side. 
"Why don't you start?" he says making moves to hand me the puck. "No that's okay, age before beauty" I say and hear the boys laugh at my response as they all seem to have drawn their attention towards our tiebreaker challenge. "This is gonna be good" I hear Tae whisper to Hobi but I try my best to not let our little audience psyche me out. 
Taking a deep breath I watch as Joon starts to place the puck on the table and sends it my way. I in turn send it back to him but bypass his mallet and hear the clinking sound signaling my first point.
All the guys react by laughing, cheering or teasing, but as the game continues I have yet to hear one voice during the entire match but I do my best to keep my head in the game nonetheless. 
Once the time clock is close to running out I hear the boys countdown from ten and then feel that same thrilling sensation of victory I've felt time and time again as they finally shout out zero.
I celebrate my victory for a second or two along with the guys but after taking a couple of steps back from the table I cut my cheers short as I feel myself hit a wall of muscle accompanied by arm slowly wrapping around my waist.
"Good job Noona" Jungkook says in a low voice fanning his breath against my neck again making me shiver at the unexpected contact. "How many wins in a row is that now?" he continues, speaking softly enough so I'm the only who can hear. "I-i've lost count" I stutter for a second and clear my throat immediately after. 
"I'd expect nothing less from my champion" he says as he rubs his nose into the side of my neck, taking a second to gently breathe in my scent before taking a step back making his hold a little less intimate. 
"Wow Luna! I had no idea you would be that good! I can see why Jungkook has always been so competitive being friends with someone like you" Hobi says with a big smile on his face. "Thanks! I think?" I say confused as to if I should take it as a compliment. 
"You're a worthy opponent Luna, I'll give you that" Joon says coming up to me and giving me a high five. "You too! Not gonna lie, it bruised my ego a bit losing the first game but I guess you could say it kickstarted my competitive nature" I laugh. 
"Thanks for asking me to play with you!" I continue, giving him a friendly smile. "Anytime" he responds reciprocating my smile. "Hey Hyung I think Jin Hyung is looking for you" Jungkook says while pulling me in closer. "Oh alright, I guess I'll go see what he wants then" he says and makes his way over to the man in question.
"You know you don't have to do this right?" I say turning around to face Jungkook who is still holding me. "Do what?" he says feigning innocence. "This" I say running one on my hands up his arm. "I always do this though" he says in defense. "Jungkook I already told you that I'm not interested in any of them" I say trying to reassure him yet again. 
"It's not you that I'm worried about, it's them" he says glancing over at his Hyungs, now surrounding Yoongi and Hobi while they compete in some sort of racing game. I don't bother to look at them for too long so as to not give him another reason to be jealous and continue on with our discussion. 
"What about them? They didn't do anything" I say confused, "We were just playing games, it's not like they hugged me or something. You made it very clear from the start that you didn't want that to happen" I say trying to explain away whatever he was worrying about. 
"You do realize that almost all of them were checking you out the whole time right? Especially when you were leaning over the table" he says sliding his hand down lower on my waist. "Jungkook it's whatever, don't let it bother you" I say trying my best to get him to drop it but he persists nonetheless. 
"But it does bother me Luna. I'm in love with you, and I know you haven't fully figured out how you feel about me so, I don't know, I can't help but feel insecure" he finally fully admits.
"Jungkook I'm sorry but I don't want to rush into something right now. Give me some time and I'll let you know soon okay?" I say in hopes to reassure him that I'm still thinking about us. He nods his head in response and leans in to kiss me and I turn my face to the side and make him place it on my cheek instead. 
"Time Kook" is all I say and pull away from him before he can pout any further.
Walking over to watch the madness that is this racing game unfold I feel someone take a hold of my hand. "Luna can I talk to you for a second?" Jin says as I turn and make eye contact with him. I politely slide my hand out of his grasp and nod my head yes, following him to the other side of the room so we can talk. 
"What's up?" I ask looking up and seeing his unreadable expression. "Is everything alright between you and Jungkook?" he questions straight away. "Yeah! Why wouldn't they be?" I question trying to figure out exactly what he's trying to ask me. 
"Well, ever since I saw you guys get out of Jungkook's car I noticed that things were really tense between the two of you. I know we just met, and I haven't really seen what your relationship with Jungkook is like normally, but I can tell that there's something going on" he continues doing his best to be considerate but also wanting to get some answers out of me. 
"I just want to make sure that you're feeling safe and comfortable around him. I know you guys have been friends for forever from what Jungkook has said but I just want you to know that if you ever need to talk or want me to talk to him just let me know" he finishes, fully explaining his motives. I'm taken aback by his maturity and observation of the dynamic that Jungkook and I have going on and am honestly touched by his concern. 
"Thank you Jin that really means a lot to me. Things are kind of rocky and uncertain between us right now but we'll get through it" I say trying to wrap things up neatly. "How long ago did he tell you he has feelings for you?" Jin says not wanting to drop the subject. 
My eyes widen realizing that Jin saw a lot more than I wanted him to when he came outside. "I- um-" I fumble for a second before settling on just telling him the truth. "Last night" I admit.
"And what did you say?" he prods further. "I told him that I needed time to figure things out. I just barely caught onto the fact that he might have feelings for me a few days ago so everything about our relationship has just switched up drastically and I just haven't had time to think about it all" I respond dropping my gaze to the floor. 
"You're scared of losing him aren't you?" he ask when he knows for a fact that he's right. I nod my head in response not really knowing how else to respond. "Luna, that boy is crazy about you! He's always thinking about you and bringing you up in any and every conversation he can. Not to mention how many times he's ditched us to go see you. Not that I'm complaining" he laughs trying to lighten the mood. 
"He would always tell us how much he likes you and would pout when you were taking too long to respond or had to cancel on him because of work. I highly doubt you would ever lose him even if you tried" he says smiling down at me. "
All I'm trying to say is that he loves you and cares for you a lot. If you want him to back off let me know and I'll talk to him. I know what it feels like to be put under pressure, especially when it comes to relationships so know that I'm here for you if you need anything" he finishes.
I thank Jin for his advice and make my way back over to the guys just in time to see Yoongi cross the finish line. Unfortunately for Hobi he comes in last, having somehow managed to get his car stuck going backwards off a cliff and can't seem to get it to respawn in time to catch up. 
While Hobi does his best to get Yoongi to give him a rematch I feel someone bumping their shoulder into mine and turn to see Tae looking down at me. We make eye contact and then see him turn his head over to another part of the arcade and makes his was over there. 
I turn back towards the group of guys trying to find Jungkook in the crowd and notice that he's finally taken his eyes off of me to talk to Namjoon. I take that as my chance and follow after him to see what exactly he's wanting to do. 
"Hey Luna" he says with a soft smile leaving me retuning his greeting and inquire as to why he's brought me over here. "I just wanted to see if you're having fun. You really killed it in that game against Namjoon hyung" he says with an amused smile. "Yeah it was really fun! I'm glad he asked me to play" I say truthfully turning my attention over to the other games in that area.
"Have you ever played this game?" he motions over to a Zombie Apocalypse simulator. He walks over towards it and I watch as he climbs inside the little two seater cubby that shows the war torn landscape on a big screen. I walk over to it and observe the setup. 
"I haven't. Is it scary?" I ask, apprehensive to trying out such an immersive game. "I don't really think so, you just gotta keep on telling yourself it's not real but also do your best to defend yourself. It's a delicate balance" he says with an encouraging tone. 
"You wanna try it out?" he offers, scooting away from me so I can sit next to him. "Sure" I say coming around to the idea after hearing his explanation. He pats the space next to him inviting me inside and hands me the gun that is directly in front of me once I get inside.
I mutter a quick thanks and feel myself getting a bit nervous from being this close to him but I do my best to focus on the task at hand. 
"You ready?" he asks making moves to set up the game. "Ready as I'll ever be" I say with a nervously. "You'll do great!" he says giving me a warm smile. He pulls the trigger after having chosen his gun and has me do the same. 
The pace starts off slow with a couple walkers here and there and soon escalates to more and more coming faster and faster. I flinch a bit seeing one having jumped on to the screen and do my best to get him off of me.
Tae aims his gun over onto my side of the screen to help me out and we quickly get it off and we continue on finishing the final round.
"Wow you're really good at this!" I say impressed with his skills. "You're not too bad yourself" he says bumping his shoulder against mine again making me smile at the friendly gesture. "Do you wanna play again?" he proposes the idea but I'm soon cut off by another voice. 
"Hey no fair! You can't keep her all to yourself! Luna why don't you come play with me? I'm sure you'll find it very... stimulating" Hobi says in a suggestive tone while leaning on the side of the game where I'm now held captive between the two of them. 
But yet again before I'm able to respond I see Hobi being pulled back and feel someone yanking me out by my forearm.
"Luna get your stuff we're leaving" Jungkook says dragging me towards the exit. "Jungkook hold on a second let me grab my bag!" I say trying to pull out of his grip. He loosens his grip on me just enough to place his hand in mine and have me lead him towards the spot I had left said bag. 
Once I do he pulls on my hand and leads us towards the exit yet again. I see the guys take notice and send me a questioning look, observing the situation and contemplating whether or not to intervene. "Bye Luna" is the last thing I hear before the door closes behind us. 
"Jungkook wait!" I say in protest waiting for him to listen to me yet he continues to pull me towards the building we had once come through.
"Jungkook STOP!" I yell at him finally being able to yank my hand out of his grip. "What?" he exclaims but does his best to keep his voice level. "What was that all about?" I say, finally given the chance to question his behavior. "I told you I didn't want them to be that close to you!" he says defending himself. 
"Tae and I were just playing a game and then Hobi came over seconds after we had finished our game. It's not my fault that he was trying to get closer to me. And if you had given me a chance to speak for myself I would've taken care of it" I continue, poking holes in his argument. 
"You shouldn't have been that close to Tae in the first place. I told you how it makes me feel when stuff like this happens" he continues trying to patch up his reasoning. 
"Jungkook you're not my boyfriend!" I say finally fed up with his controlling behavior, but immediately regret it as soon as the words left my mouth. Seeing the slight change in his already frustrated expression I know I've hit him where it hurts. "You're right, I'm not" he says and turns his back to continue down the path leaving me behind.
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angelicalbl · 24 days ago
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So I have a bit of a bone to pick regarding the difference in the NC scenes between the original and Japanese version of LITA and the impact on character development.
Due to the shorter runtime of J-LITA obviously things had to be cut down. However I do not think that is an excuse for the direction of chemistry buildup between Phayu/Arashi and Rain/Rei. This really came to a breaking point for me in episode 4 and then the aftermath in episode 5.
LITA gets mocked sometime for being NC scenes with a sprinkling of plot to hold it together but the difference between the two NC scenes in the original has a point. EP4 LITA with PhayuRain is meant to be a soft bonding, a moment of trust building, and the characters finally becoming equals (while still maintaining that D/s element a bit). So then when the high heat NC in EP6 comes after a few more episodes of buildup it is earned and the audience sees how far Rain has come. Rain is in control, he is on top, he is now confident in his sexuality, body, and the power that he knows he holds over Phayu.
Now going back to J-LITA the NC scene in EP4 is softer which is fine but I have a complaint in general that Rei has way less urgency compared to Rain. Also after the scene Rei continues to be quite immature. And while this can be argued as part of the D/s dynamic there is no further growth in Rei regarding his confidence in his sexuality. There is no teasing Arashi or touching him or nicknames. I've noted there is very little touching between Arashi and Rei in general which feels colder to me.
We rarely get NC scenes with a power bottom being in control of the situation which to me is why the original EP6 LITA NC is iconic in BL. Personally I found that while Rain can be a bit of an annoying character at times Noeul managed to thread the needle by adding enough sass and cute moments with Boss to make it work. J-LITA Rei feel flat in comparison, and more annoying than cute most of the time.
The BossNoeul chemistry is difficult to match but again my biggest complaint is taking away the power that the 'bottom' of the relationship holds. I always want to see more power bottom and verse representation in BL in general, and to have lost some of it in the adaptation makes me sad. There is still some show to go so maybe they will turn it around but I don't think so.
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iridiss · 8 days ago
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Aaron’s such an underrated character on Aphblr tbh. He’s become one of my favorite characters in the cast as I rewatch more and more of Mystreet. Aaron will tease you, but he’s also one of the best characters in the cast to go to for emotional support. He’ll tell you as it is, smack you upside the head when you’re being crazy and shake you back to rational normalcy, but then he’ll sigh and tell you you’re gonna be just fine and everything’s gonna be okay. He is the number one (and on occasion only) holder of brain cells in the whole neighborhood. He’s the most sensible, and often the word of wisdom/rationale, much more so than Katelyn or Lucinda or Zane or Laurance are. This can often make him come off as a serious character, but he’s still down to clown! He just does it in a different way!
He’s supposed to contrast Aphmau’s louder, more extroverted, playful, ditzy, eccentric personality, by being quieter, more rational, more responsible, more cautious and careful, more reserved, a word of wisdom to contrast her crazier, chaotic energy and pranking and punning and ponies and general whimsical tomfoolery. But that does not, by any means, mean that he is not participating in the antics. Just because he’s the only one who thought to bring a first aid kit and a safety harness doesn’t mean he’s not jumping off that cliff with everyone else in this crazy cast. You tell him to dig, he’ll bring shovels. He may sigh or say “oh god not again” when shit goes awry or the gang decides they are Dead Set on doing something insane for the 10,000th time, but by god he will commit. Aphmau kidnaps a baby and goes on a mad chase for a comedic bit, and he never complains about how “stupid” and “reckless” and “obnoxious” his girlfriend is, he just says in a completely calm tone, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go save my girlfriend.” And he chases after her immediately lmao.
Aaron enables the antics and participates in them, and if you rile him up or challenge him damn well enough, he will throw himself into the group antics with an unbeatable, fiery fervor. If the boys decide they’re all gonna pretend to be Santa and his elves in order to cause prankster-variety chaos one day, Aaron would join in and go right alongside them. He’s here to make sure it all goes to plan. He’s here to make sure you don’t break any bones when you jump off that roof like a madman. He’s here to help you run away from the cops, help you break into the building. He may chide you for doing it in the first place (“do you even know what you’re doing?!”), and if needed he may drag you back home if you’re barking up the wrong tree and it’s nothing but detrimental to you, but if it’s viable for the bit, he absolutely will show you how to break a window correctly.
And he can be a little shit if he wants to, too!! He can snicker at you and tease you and make quips, and I bet if Aaron himself dedicated his energy to it, he would make the best of pranks. He’s not an asshole that’s full of himself and too serious and stoic and cool for being silly, he’s not a whiny bitch, he’s actually very incredibly supportive. At times, much more so than Garroth, Laurance, Zane, Katelyn, etc. He’s reliable, he trusts Aphmau a lot, he knows how shittily Aphmau cooks and still does his damndest to support her, and he will force himself to eat her biohazardous cooking just to make her happy. He is the chef of the household. He’s good with animals, animals love him. He’s a kind guy!!! He’s just got his own unique energy and vibe to him, that no one else in the cast really has, and I really appreciate that core trait of him. He’s a grounding character. He’s probably got his own ways that he’s weird and eccentric that are a lot more hidden than Aphmau’s. If we didn’t have Aaron, the entire neighborhood would have burned down ages ago, ten times over.
I genuinely do believe he’d make a fantastic dad, being a combination of a soft and gentle and tenderly loving man, and responsible enough to always bring safety helmets and bandaids and snacks, very supportive of his kids development, emotionally available as a great source of genuine advice and wisdom while still getting plenty of encouragement. He would probably want to make an effort to be a very different parent than his father was, and since he was emotionally neglected as a child, he would refuse to do anything similar to his own kids. He’d be a good influence (and Aphmau would be the bad influence LOL)
He’s kind of a teddy bear of a man <3 If he weren’t so heavily wolf-themed, I’d say a bear would be the best animal that’d fit his personality and energy. He’d protect you like a bear, he can be really fucking terrifying if he wants to, but he’d only use that power to make sure Aphmau gets what she wants and needs to make her happy. He’d never use that terrifying intimidation factor of his on his friends and loved ones, never as anything more than a single look that has a derailing Garroth/Laurance/Travis/Dante/Gene/etc. get right the fuck back on track and start backpedaling, like if they started saying or doing something careless or stupid that made Aphmau feel worse. He’s quiet and reserved with that tired, grounded, solid energy of a bear. He’s a big guy. But he can also be really soft and supportive and sweet. He takes more time to come out of his shell and let down his walls, but when he does, he really dedicates his life to the few people he manages to trust. And it’s that thick outer shell that makes Aphmau a good match for him, because she’s kinda the only character in the cast who’s able to bring him out of his shell so easily.
She’s kind and extremely friendly, unstoppably and unendingly so. She’s sweet and naive and selfless in the way that proves to Aaron that she’s not trying to get anything out of him, she’s not lying to him, and she would never neglect him or just…abandon him like a discarded toy once she’s through with him. She’s not scared of him. She sees the best in everybody, and sees that there’s something more underneath that scary, prickly outer shell of defenses that’s managed to push everyone else away and keep the likes of Laurance and Garroth and Katelyn on their toes. She sees what no one else does, she sees the true beauty and the kind heart he has underneath. Even in MCD, when he’s literally held a sword to her throat and threatened her life multiple times, she can still sense that he’s full of shit and there’s a kind heart underneath, and if she does a little cultivating, extends a hand of gentle kindness and genuine affection, a kind of love and affection he’s never really seen before and been starved of all his life… it works wonders, and he steps out to meet her. He changes, drastically, because she sees the best in him, and that makes him want to become the best version of himself that he can be, for her. Where he might hate himself and grapple with feeling unloveable, Aphmau is there to remind him none of its true. And so he tries to keep her nightmares away in return, sticking by her side, taking care of her, cooking for her, encouraging her to keep doing everything she does best, defends her against the bullies that make her feel like she’s not good enough, and takes her by the shoulders to remind her that she is good enough, and all the voices out there and in her head that tell her she’s not are full of shit. Because he knows first-hand, better than most, the good things she brings to those around her and the wonderful presence she is in others lives, and how wonderful she is as a person. He trusts her. He’s here to guide her along in her path to becoming her fullest self, to give her that last big nudge to boost her along the way. Likely on a cosmic level, mainly, with her becoming Irene.
He’s very sweet, he’s sweet to Aphmau, Aphmau’s even sweeter to him, and genuinely I’ve learned to love the big, fluffy guy and I really appreciate him and his impact on the other characters the more and more I see of him. I don’t really know how I would enjoy Mystreet or MCD or the Aphverse without him. If he were real, I would love to give him one big hug, I bet his hugs would be amazing (topped only by Garroth’s rib-crushing bear hugs)
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theyungihven · 3 months ago
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Truth Or Dare ⁉️ ⁕ Hongjoong
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HALLOWEEN EVENT
☆ pairing: hongjoong as Dracula x Human? Reader
☆ genre: mystery, fantasy, horror,
☆ warnings: mentions of blood, sacrifice, vampires and ghosts
☆ word count: 2.1k+
☆ synopsis : You and your friends dare to spend a night at the infamous Dracula's Castle but things go astray as one by one everyone goes missing and you come across the man rumoured to be Dracula.
“You gotta do this!” You hear your friends yell or more like discuss something in the secret hideout. 
The hideout is an abandoned laboratory where you sometimes work on illegal stuff. The discussions take place every day here where everyone in your friend group (it's just 2 people) gather to share about the current news (conspiracy theories) and rumours they heard around the town while you are busy building your prototype.
“Bro, I don't wanna die too early. First, fucking global warming, now this shit? Nah I'm out!” Claire shouts as she bangs the old lunch table discarded in the room. Well that's Claire, one of you two friends, being herself. You smile at her humour which strangely manages to entertain you.
“But they offered a reward of 250 grand, if we spend a night there and return alive.” You listen keenly to Kevin who explains the plan before you to decide to jump into their conversation. He's obviously got a strategy if he's pitching the idea, doesn't he? He has to!
“Alive? The fuck is going on there?” Claire yells  in terror as it laces her body manifesting itself in her tone which shivers and shrieks.
“Rumour says, it's Dracula, who was sleeping till last month in the villa.” Kevin whispers loudly as if he intended you to hear on their spill the tea session.
“Which shithead woke him up, for fuckssake?” Claire huffs and pushes back her chair. You hear the screeching of the rusty metal and make a note to check their safety because you don't want anyone to break their bones from falling off that thing.
“Someone from med school. They're missing apparently.” Kevin slurs his sentence as if he's making things up or masking up the important details. Cheeky little Bastard who's always up to something. Probably some anatomy geek must have gotten all curious to see Dracula in the flesh and fainted in there or lost his way.
“And now, we're going there to feed him?" Claire shrieks, whose voice sounds like a scared five year old upon seeing a clown which she is to be honest.
“No, obviously! To show whoever is hiding in there, that they cannot hide for long.” Kevin's sentence catches your attention and you think whether to join them or wait and hear more. Of course, you choose the latter.
“So... we're going to expose them?”Claire asks excitedly as if in hopes of going on a ghost hunting mission. They are her time passing activities and the ghost files is her favourite show. “What if it's a cannibal or serial killer?”
“Can you speak positively for once, Claire?” Kevin shrugs, shaking his head in disappointment.
“Sorry.” Claire says softly and the conversation stills, creating an awkward silence in the room. 
You finally decide to interrupt as you pull your chair to their table and make yourself comfortable on it. “So, what's the plan?” You say, chewing the strawberry flavoured gum and reading the expressions on their faces.
“See who finally decided to pay attention?” Kevin mocks you and you roll your eyes at his statement. 
“Does the area have connectivity? Comms? Anything?” You ask him, because he certainly has some information on this if he's even mentioning the topic but he has a tendency to hide things till after the disaster is done.
“Nope everything's dead. There's a strong magnetic field apparently…” He trails on his words, again and clicks his tongue.
“What in the Stranger Things?” Claire wonders with her mouth hanging open. 
“Shut up Claire! You’re watching too much science fiction.” Kevin yells at her, sending a stern glare at Claire who turns her head down with a frown on her lips.
“We gotta do it the pirate way.” you suggest calmly, leaning back on the chair and folding your arms.
“Pirates?” Claire asks, raising her eyebrow and leaning forward with enthusiasm.
“I forgot you had pirate blood for a minute.” adds Kevin and Claire acknowledges the fact with ahh. 
“So, if we don't have comms, drones and walkies aren't gonna work. We gotta get flares and some type of marker to make a path for entry and exits.” You say looking at the table and your friends exchange looks.
“A blueprint of the place!” Claire exclaims as if she has figured out the answers to one of the world's unsolvable riddles.
“It's not your fucking aunts house!” Kevin says loudly, giving Claire the ‘I'll murder you’ eyes.
“Yeah he's right. But the villa is not that big to get lost.” You mumble, moving forward and setting your arms on the table. 
“How do you know that?” Kevin gives you the sceptical look as if you're a notorious criminal with disgusting crimes.
“It was once our family property, that was a long time tho. Some feud happened and we lost it.” You confess and their faces have the funniest expression you've ever seen. Confused, surprised and wtf?
“You have a map?” Kevin yells in your ear and you retort meters away, squeezing your eyes close  due to the pain.
“Kinda, it's a tracing, rather than a map.” you say, rubbing your ear and a flicker of hope lights up on Kevin's face. 
“Atleast, we have something.” Claire mumbles as she shares a smile.
“Be at my house at 7, we'll discuss stuff there. That's it for now.”
***
“Listen, the Manor has two exits.” You explain, spreading out the old one dimensional tracing of the Manor and its illustrations.
“Didn't you say it was a villa?” Claire says, setting her hands on her waist as she stares at the floor plan.
“Can we kick her out?” Kevin suggests and the idea doesn't sound bad considering her level headed ass. 
“It's dangerously close to Yes, but what if I get bored? We'll need her.” You trail, spreading out the second floor plan of the Manor.
“Fair. So, Claire, just shut your mouth and listen. No speaking over someone.” Kevin says and shushes Claire who pouts, giving him the puppy eyes.
“Okay so the first exit is at the front, obviously for the people and the second is at the back for the goods.” You say with your finger tracing the main gate of the Manor and then the back gate. 
“Ohhhhhh!” Claire coos, and Kevin giggles at her reaction while he gets ready to smack her on head.
“Yeah. Shut your mouth before a fly lands in there. Anyways, moving on!” You say, thinking about your next sentence and Claire slaps her hand to her mouth. 
“Are we dividing up and going from two exits?” Kevin asks, and you look up at him, eyes diverting themselves from the map and landing on his face.
“Yes, you read my mind. You two will go from the front door to distract whatever is in there and I'll go with someone else from the back.”
“Is this someone else, late to the meeting?”
“Hey there!” A voice says and it is followed by the garage door smashing open with a thud, “Sorry I had soccer practice.” Yunho, your arch nemesis on friendly terms, says and shares an awkward smile.
“This is my neighbour, yunho.” You introduce him and drag him by his arm to make his tall ass body stand next to yours.
“Hello, very nice to meet you.” He waves at your friends with a bright smile and Claire gives him heart eyes at which you cringe. 
“You both are polar opposites!” Kevin comments and you feel heating rising on your cheeks.
“We get that a lot!” You and Yunho say at the same time only to meet each other's eyes the next second and shy away. 
“What did I miss?” Yunho says after clearing his throat as he glances in your direction. His golden blond hair falls over eyes and you observe the way his gaze flickers from your face and back to map.
“Whatever I said to you, last night.” You say, finding something to stare at besides his brooding figure.
“Okay then, I'm saved I guess!” Yunho says as he nervously chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck.
“The next phase of the plan is when I signal you, we move to the first floor. The highest is the second floor which has a library in the attic.” You say and it excites something in Yunho judging by the creepy smirk on his lips.
“Attics scare me!” Claire says, her voice shrieking with fear of the darkness.
“What doesn't scare you Claire?” Kevin says in a monotone as he turns his head in her direction.
“Him!” Claire points in Yunho's direction at which you can't help but sigh.
“Flirt somewhere else, lovebirds. We got shit to do.” You roll your eyes then go back to thinking about what to say next.
“How are you going to communicate?” Yunho asks, giving you his starry puppy eyes and you can't help but gulp nervously. What is he even trying to do?
“Well, I have a perfect device for that.” You say, distracting yourself from the tall and beautiful blonde beside you with a bright ass smile.
“Where?” Claire asks as if she's looking for something and fails to find it.
“Our friendship bracelets. They work with a higher bandwidth of 7GHz.” You say, pointing at the bracelet on Claire's wrist.
“7g WiFi?” Claire exclaims and you hear an audible sigh from Kevin, at which Yunho giggles and earns a glare.
“Yeah kinda like that.....i guess.” you mumble under your breath.
“Yunho doesn't have one, though?” Someone asks while your mind pulls you in a trance and you start to zone out.
“He does.” You say, almost mumbles as you start to slip into the fever dream.
“He DOES?”  They yell. 
AT THE MANOR
“You know what to do. On the signal, disperse. It's two taps, distinct and repeating 3 times. If anything goes down, the distress signal is continuous tapping. Light the flare ONLY if its a fucking emergency, and if we need to abort the mission.” You yell as low as possible while they listen to you attentively. 
“Yes sir!” Everyone shouts, tightening the strap of their backpack of supplies.
“Remember to mark your way up to the second floor. People get lost there.” You say and everyone exchanges confused looks. “It's a spell.” You remind them and they nod their heads. “Now, go. Meet you at the library!”
According to the plan, you and Yunho go through the back gate while Claire and Kevin from the front gate. The sound of the rusted iron screeching when Kevin pushes the gate echoes around the Manor and you curse under your breath. 
The way up to the first floor had been easy, then after the signal from the other team gave clearance, you decided to head to the second floor alone bidding Yunho a goodbye. It had been strange for a while, walking down the eerie, empty hallway with the feeling of something watching you the whole time. 
You stand in the middle of the never ending hallway, a ghostly whisper greets your ear and sends shivers down your spine. 
What in the fucking hell?? 
There's a ghostly touch on your arm, ice cold as it traces its finger down your warm skin. When you turn to face the monster, there's no one behind you. Then you feel it, a looming shadow over your shoulder but when you turn again, it's gone. 
So, you walk on because standing still is more dangerous. You choose to run when you see a pale face in the middle of the corridor grinning wildly at you which sends terror down your body. Your heart beats at an amazing speed as your breath shortens, adrenaline running through your body which initiates the flight mechanism because there is no way you're dealing with that demonic thing in this haunted mansion. 
“I've been searching for you for so long.” A voice echoes in the hallway or is it your brain playing tricks on you. Luckily you find the stairway leading to the second floor and run towards it but things take a turn when you realise, it is a trap. 
“I thought you were a smart girl.” The sinister voice echoes in your mind again as you walk away from the door that shut itself only to bump into something hard. Turning around you come to see the very pale face you had seen in the hallway but very clearly now. 
The man stands in front of you in his full glory, the navy uniform and wounds from the battle still decorating his lifeless body. “You traitor!” You feel a sharp pain in your chest and you look down to see a dagger pressed to your heart. “You'll repay the blood we shed that night, you vampire.” Everything goes black when he twists the knife and the last thing you see is a scared yunho trying to save you.
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