#i still struggle with full bodies
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Day 27: Scientists
^_^
#this actually reminded me to a really old drawing of them i made#i still struggle with full bodies#madcomtober 2023#madness combat#madness combat fanart#madness project nexus#mpn2#madness combat dr hofnarr#madcom hofnarr#mc hofnarr#madness combat hofnarr#madcom#madcom fanart#jebediah christoff#madness combat jebediah christoff#madness combat crackpot#madcom crackpot#madcom jebediah Christoff
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perfect for me 💕
#dreamworks trolls#trolls world tour#broppy#branch x poppy#branch trolls#rock zombie branch#poppy#queen poppy#i love them so fucking much hndhjkfa#SAVE ME BROPPY!#i struggled so hard on the lineart for this omg it was ROUGH#when in doubt just slap some color on it#i cropped tf out of this cuz i didnt feel like drawing him full body and the sketch it was ugly lol#anyway if your still reading this then go listen to perfect for me with anna and JT their harmony's are just 😘🤌#fanart#my art#chibi#cute#tumblr artist#artist on tumblr
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(ID in alt) trips and falls and three more stephanie brown redesigns spill out from my pockets. Oopsie!
#dc comics#dc#stephanie brown#these were a hit on twt. if you guys don't like them I'm decreeing it misogyny /j#anyway I've been going through that phase again where I'm struggling to do full bodies (need to study...augh)#but if I'm still feeling these looks by the time i get it back i might do a second pass on these#I've been trying to imagine how you'd even redesign the spoiler look recently#bc certainly it's lackluster in Steph's recent appearances and I've been trying to figure out all the exact reasons why#(small things like the lack of ribbing on the texture and the pink batsymbol that doesn't break up the colours and intersects-#-with the ribbing in a really weird way PLUS the mask that they don't even use to make her look cool/intimidating-#-and which also limits her emotional range as we can't see her smile and don't have big expressive eyes)#but like. her batgirl suit and og spoiler suit is basically perfect i really don't know how i could iterate on those#but i tried anyway! as a challenge
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something something blood-soaked hands cradling your face something something
anyway here's the post btw
#what if post dp3 logan struggles to emotionally accept that wade Will Actually For Real Survive Anything#and one time they are fighting some random baddies#and they somehow get in a few shots straight to wade's cranium and he drops like a bag of slutty slutty potatoes#and logan goes full berserker trying to get to him#like he just massacres everyone in his way and wade still isnt getting up ohnoohnoohnonotagainohno#(healing factor or no a few direct shots to the brain stem/t box take a bit to recover from)#(no more than five minutes but it's an eternity to logan)#and his heart sinks to the very core of the earth as he kneels down next to wade's body#and his hands are shaking and soaked in blood and he can't seem to sheathe his claws in his dazed adrenalined state#he tries to peel back wade's mask and fear is just *pounding* through his system because in that moment#all he can see are the xmen dead in massive pools of blood#and that feeling of unreality is rushing over him like thiscantbehappeningthiscantbehappeningnotagainohgodnotagain#wade's still and unresponsive and there is so Much BLOOD (hard to tell how much is Wade's and how much is just on his hands)#and logan doesn't even realize he's crying until suddenly wade's eyes light up like a computer restarting#and he's smiling and gasping and joking immediately#“well howdy there hot stuff what did I miss?”#and then he clocks that logan is Not Okay#“... well gee willikers golly goddamn peanut 'twas only a flesh wound! no need to go all waterworks over lil ol me”#“you know it would take a helluva lot more than that to make me shuffle off this here mortal coil!”#“see all better I'm hunky dory peachy keen right as fucking rain”#“I mean cmon I can't have been out for more than five minutes so let's just go back to you being exasperated with my bullshit antics okay??#“...okay sugarboobs? snookums? babycakes?.... Logan?”#and they just sit there on the floor holding each other for a while#wade babbling and logan crying about everything he's lost and wondering distantly how he has come to care so much#about this blithering jokester in like barely a week#that the thought of losing him brought him crashing back to the worst memory of his extremely rough life#anyway that's enough tag mini fic lolol I'm having feelings about my own drawing I guess 😵#poolverine#deadpool and wolverine#poolverine art
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Wip Tuesday because I said so. this man has completely consumed my life. I played Palia for 8 hours straight today, and when I realized that it happened, I slowly pushed my laptop away from me, got up and stretched… and then immediately sat back down to start drawing palia fanart while listening to a deep dive tinker bell lore analysis video. I feel like trash but hey, at least I got some good art out of it
#I’m still working on those Mr qi sketches I swear#I’m just struggling with figuring out what other poses to draw him in#because I have two done but they’re both headshots#I wanna do a full body one and then maybe a silly one or one without his hat and sun glasses#for personal reasons#it’s just really difficult when he only makes like 4 appearances in total ya know?#any way. this one’s just a study so I may or may not finish it#who knows really#palia#palia reth#my art#art study
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when I said I need a break from school I didn’t mean to get sick
#like I'm gonna write those exams with a fever idc 😭😭😭#reached a point where my throat hurts sm I rather spit into a tissue than swallow#also my mom istg.#the most unnecessary comment#idk tw for ed-ish behaviour ig ?????#like she asked if I was hungry and I said nah bc I'm like sick#and she told me to drink lots of water#and that me not eating isn’t bad bc I have a few pounds I could loose#like girl cmon#what a way to make me feel bad abt food and stop eating normally again#like I'm not even fat or anything??????#at least thats what my friends tell me#they say there is no fat to get rid of ??#i've been struggling with weight and my body for ages already#i lost 15kg from me eating only one slice of bread a day and feeling full from it#i gained it back yeah#but I dont look like how I did before#i still fit into the same size I did when I lost that weight#wtf do u mean I could get rid of some pounds wtf#sry rant over#the voices are speaking
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Thinkin on it again and i think one of the reasons i liked Firmament chapter 2 so much, aside from the cool library plot aspect, is that it was so character driven.
Especially with the expansion on Tatterdemelion and the introduction of Summer (im obsessed with her but we knew that), it gave such a fun, chill way to have us bond with the characters well still advancing the plot in an interesting way
I've been so in want of NPC expansion and i really hope that the rest of the story continues along that line
and doesn't fall too far into the specific kind of body horror aspects i cant personally deal with lol
#i managed through light fingers okay so we'll see XD and ive kinda been through a weird brain place re: the body lately#i really liked it. i really liked those specific characters... i want more.#i always feel vaguely stuck creative wise when a story is in process#because i dont... idk. when i dont have a full image of a character i struggle to create?#like. similar reason i dont do a lot with SH. i still feel like im missin too much info#ill def draw summer at some pt i have ideas of the back brain#but i cant really form a full character dynamic with my own ocs quite yet until I Know#(and yall know what i suspect so IT would be a big doozy if true)#prophet's fl nonsense#firmament fl
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I did a complete drawing (finally!!)
I used the outfit from this drawing!!
I’m actually pretty happy with how this came out!
#art#traditional art#sketchbook#fukase#vocaloid fukase#fanart#vocaloid#vocaloid fanart#fukase vocaloid#lets hope once I post this it still looks good to me#I struggled so hard to add the link to the previous drawing#this was supposed to be a full body#but when I realized the legs wouldn’t show I erased it all#luckily I didn’t draw the hands cause if I did I would have just given up with all the erasing
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its so weird when people say IIII inspire them or I;m like . cool . i am a 15 year old kid i cannot possibly inspire people right ...
#like idk ..#i went from being soo inspired in my artistic career by cool ppl#like speedythecat#amazing art#when someone says i inspire them i gotta stop and think because . there was a time where I was thinking that i could never ever do art#and my art was not good at all . and like idk when i think of inspiring art i think like#marsipain or yasur or sayijo or speedy...#not myself ...#i have such inconsistent rendering and anatomy#i still struggle with certain anatomic areas#and dont get me STARTED on drawing from any angle that isnt like a 1/4 side view or whtvr#and isnt a full body#goddamn#raine's rambles
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today's workout was not very good in the rdl department....didn't feel my glutes as i should have BUT the squats were great i didn't feel fatigued and i really felt all my muscles working as they should which i was very pleased with
#i did weighted glute bridges and really felt the burn so that was the primary way i worked my glutes#i actually still struggle with glute bridges. like it takes me a few tries to find the right position where i actually feel them working#it's still the part of my body where i really have to focus on the mind muscle connection#upper body is fine it's great i struggle with lower body bc it tires me out more easily#actually for upper body my main goal is to be able to do a full pushup#i started doing them against the wall and have progressed to countertops#it's easy against the kitchen counter as it's higher. today i did them against the bathroom counter and that was harder#i could crank out 10x3 with good form#.....i love writing down how my workouts feel i think it's nice to see what's felt easier and what's felt harder#there was genuinely a point in my life where i couldn't even imagine myself doing a single squat so this progress is beyond what i imagined
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hobbs and joiner, who are @four-white-trees' ocs! these sure are some guys...
less clothed version under the cut (because i didn't go to all the effort of making all these layers to not show em)
#jichanart#jichan'shandslipped#cw nudity#Incitatus crew#the deepest solace#<- just gonna steal your tags for them#less clothed version because i did NOT draw all that body hair by hand just to cover it all up. EVERYBODY LOOK#anyways the motivator for this one was finding out their heights. because i desperately needed a visual for that#thank you height comparison website#so yeah it should be to scale because i drew directly over the height reference#and the reference helped me with proportions! so i struggled less with full body than i normally do#now i can play dress up with them with this as a base. very pleased with myself#this file has so many variants rn you have no idea. and i still gotta put them in even more outfits#anyhow i hope this helps anybody reading four-white-trees' sunday six posts visualise them#COORDINATED POSTING RIGHT AT YOU
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Hoping against hope that DD reads "The House of My Mother: A Daughter's Quest for Freedom" and brings Shari Franke on his podcast to discuss the dangers and horrendous, soulless incentive of family vlogging.
#life#DD#podcast#hopes and dreams#a mission close to my heart#I was there watching people pick apart Ruby Franke (the mother)'s content before her arrest#as in two years before at least#and have been there every step of the way#from her little son escaping from his bonds to run to the neighbors for help#because he was afraid his siblings would die#and Ruby Franke's husband effectively abandoning his kids because Ruby moved in with a “marriage counselor”#(who liked to split up couples and move in with the wives-- wink wink “this isn't what it looks like 'cuz we're holy Mormons”)#((note: it was exactly what it looked like))#then had his daughter Shari arrested after she tried to retrieve her laptop from his property#but now claims he suPoRts HeR wHolehEaRtedLY (to escape the hot seat)#Child Protective Services failing that family even though Shari kept calling for help after she was forced to move out as an adult#Shari's brother right under her (Chad) was so abused that he still hasn't accepted the full truth#(at least he can make a living playing games on Twitch-- good for him)#all of the kids' hormones and body changes and fears and struggles and diaries were put on YouTube#Ruby punished and terrorized her children in her videos (and off-camera) years before the abuse escalated#the kids-- and all family vlogger kids-- were incentivized to let their parents use their lives as content#because A. they don't understand the ramificiations#B. they are told it's good for them-- and they can go on vacation to Disney with the money!! (which is a business write-off anyway)#C. they might be deathly afraid of their parents anyway#and D. if they're even given a choice to decide regardless#none of these kids were (or are) usually paid#if they are their privacy is still exploited for profit#it used to be an innocent pastime... but now it's mostly haunted by predators making playlists on YouTube (yes-- a real problem)#or more and more family vloggers sell privacy in exchange for advertisers or thumbnail clicks#it's. appalling.
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operation "how much estrogen leeway do we have" has commenced and it's only been 2 days but i'm so frustrated my muscles are still acting like they've been through a marathon
#the past month has been trash and i've spent sooo many work days at home already this year#operation estrogen might fail which would leave us in an interesting place bc idk what the fuck he's gonna try next#except for a more radical surgery#which like. i'm down but endo seems to never get properly treated on surgery alone#though i guess mine might be if they surgically remove everything necessary to get rid of my periods#i'm just like#so frustrated by the way this takes time#and my endo is still like. comparatively not bad. and i've not struggled with it that long#relatively speaking#hiding from work helps a tad until i then have to return to work after an absence#i feel guilty about not being at work but i also just really want to have arms that don't feel like lead#i want to have energy for one after work activity once in a while#and like. my doctor is determined to get me there#they all keep telling me that it is important that i'm good and not just surviving#i'm just really tired#and i have to speak to the counselor tomorrow which#is good and mature but i truly don't fucking want to#i have fridays off to 'get more rest' but like#i do one thing on the weekend and it knocks me the fuck out#traitorous goddamn body#we shall see what the counselor says before i message my endo doctor agAIn but i don't think i'm any more capable of working full weeks#now than i was 4 weeks ago#i haven't worked a full week in the 6 weeks since school came back#rip to me#😔#some day my whiny text posts will be but a memory#i say as if i have any faith
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Archie (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*.✧
Here is Archie's (headshot) design!
So far, he's the only character whose look hasn't changed much since his initial design and who's also the very first character to get a character design at all
Check out his character introduction here :D
#i still struggle with his full body design so that's gonna take a bit longer#Archie#the isles of roc#oc#original character#i also still struggle with character design consistency#all characters kinda have the problem that they all look like their own sibling even tho it's supposed to be the same person#but oh wellll#art
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I’ve been dealing with some suicidal thots the past couple days (don’t worry about it) but. remembering the joy of t4t love reminds me not to. like. kms lol. like I’m hating my body and fearing I will be stuck with it for the rest of my life but. a body means nothing compared to the love showered upon you by your friends who care so so much about u. Life is hard but the strength of t4t conquers all to be honest.
#this isnt a judgment call about fat ppl I’m just struggling with like. my own shit#dysphoria and shit. a long-standing hatred of my body spurred on by comments made by childhood bullies and family and strangers and my endo#and again. even if I lost all the weight. I know confidence comes from within lol. I will find a reason to hate my body at any weight#but. whatever#still gonna probably try to eat healthier#my meds make it hard to feel full so I’m like always snacking. gonna try to be more mindful of how much I’m eating#I already have a pretty shitty relationship with food and I’m nervous this could just. go the other way but uh!#whatever
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#midnight thoughts before going to bed (feel free to ignore)#but today i realized two major things about myself and my mental illness#1. i was reminded that when you have an anxiety disorder your body has a hard time telling the difference between anxiety and excitement#and suddenly my whole life made sense lol#the amount of times i didn't do something that i really wanted to do because it caused me MAJOR anxiety#and it was probably excitement actually but my body went into full fight or flight mode#and 2. i realized that my masking is actually causing me physical pain#like this is of course of i am actually autistic. i still feel like i can't say i am cause i have no right you know?#but objectively i'm like 98% sure i have autism#ANYWAYS masking is usually just forcing eye contact or not stiming in public (as much)#but today i realized that when i hear loud noises or too many at the same time my instinct is to cover my ears#but i don't because that's ''weird'' or will make people ask questions that i don't really know how to answer#so i don't cover my ears i just sit through it in actual pain and hope for the best#and the worst part of this is that when i say ''masking in public'' i mean in my own damn home#because of my mom and the fact that she doesn't believe i have issues#i think it's my fault tho i shouldn't have mentioned my self diagnosis while we were watcing the good doctor (and later attorney woo)#because those two are her only reference for what autism is/looks like and i'm not like that#i mean for the most part... the good doctor was the reason i realize i might be autistic#and woo's struggle with revolving doors hit a bit too close to my heart lol#but anyways...#i need to deal with my out of control anxiety#and i'm pretty sure i am autistic...#those are the conclusions of this post lol#angel talks#personal
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