#i still remember the first like 3 moves very vaguely

[whyispaflsoaddicting]

every vietnamese kids first vocaloid song was Ilevan Polka btw, js wanted to let you know

[xinganhao]

🫀 svt when you ask them "do you like me?"

anon → "svt texts + asking "do you like me?" to the members when you know they have a crush on you? <3"

‧₊˚✩彡 includes: [implied] svt confessions, svt crushing on reader, fluff, headcanons under the cut.

🫀 headcanons .ᐟ

seungcheol wouldn't even bother to be discreet about it. he'll immediately goes for the kill i.e. asking you out, assuming your question is you making a move. he'll smirk at you and say something along the lines of "took you long enough to notice" when you go on your first date.

jeonghan would initially try to joke around it, only to feel bad. he doesn't always immediately know when it's time to joke and when it's time to be serious. if you give him a 'redo', he'll take some time to respond, but he'll eventually come clean and then would probably proceed to downplay it. "it's just a crush. no biggie."

joshua would take this very, very seriously, in the sense that he would not want to have this conversation over text. when you meet in person, he's a bit shy but there's no mistaking his sincerity. "i really do like you," he'll say sweetly. "and i want to do something about it, if that's okay with you?"

junhui doesn't play around, especially when it comes to his feelings about you. he's blunt in a way that's uniquely him— almost a little exasperated that you're trying to fish the answer from him. when he eventually does confess, he's so cool about it, like he can't believe you not knowing. "i told you it was obvious, didn't i?"

soonyoung is the type who doesn't immediately register what's happening. maybe he just woke up. maybe he just had a particularly grueling day of practice. either way, he'll only properly answer your question hours later. "i thought i missed my chance," he'll huff. "you can't just do that to a guy—"

wonwoo is masterfully, perfectly evasive about his feelings. he borders nonchalant, even, and anyone who didn't know him well would assume that he doesn't actually like you at all. but the truth is, he's just waiting for the right moment. "i wasn't about to play in to your little charade when i've wanted you for as long as i have," he'll tell you.

jihoon doesn't really hesitate to admit his feelings, though it's very matter-of-fact. he doesn't want to hide it but he's also conscious of how you might receive his feelings. whether he'll do something or not is up in the air, but he's always in the business of telling the truth. "of course i like you. why wouldn't i?"

mingyu would definitely tease you if you attempt to wheedle the answer out of him. it's all half-jokes, his jabs of the depth of his feelings. he means it when he says you have to be ready for his real answer. "i think you'd run," he'd muse. "if you knew just how whipped i am for you."

seokmin had a plan. he really did! he'd get genuinely upset that he's thrown off his game, because he had the picture perfect confession that would put all your favorite dramas to shame. he pouts a bit over it and asks if he can still do it. "you deserve the perfect confession, and i'm going to deliver!"

minghao panics. it's not like him to, considering how cool he usually is, so he chugs a pot of tea and meditates until he remembers he actually has to respond to you. he's a little vague when he answers, but there's an underlying promise that the feelings are there— just waiting to be spoken in to existence. "i want to be sure," he'll say softly. "i need to be."

seungkwan would beat around the bush. he's definitely thrown off by the sudden question and the prospect of confessing over text, of all places. you can imagine him nervously pacing his apartment on his side of the phone. "this happened way differently in my head. maybe in a café or something, argh!"

vernon doesn't take you seriously, initially, thinking it's just another one of those cases where the two of you are messing around. but, hours later, he has a bit of a huh moment. when he realizes you'd been looking for an answer, he doesn't hesitate to give it to you. "no point in hiding."

you would think chan is being vague about his answer, when he's really trying his best to not panic. he's the most likely to change the topic on you in a desperate attempt to regain his bearings. he'll confess not long after, acting a little petulant at your attempted teasing. "i wanted to do this on my own terms," he'll say. "so, here it is— i like you, alright? there."

[chrollogy]

SIGNED: LOVESICK FOOL #01

iwaizumi hajime x f!reader

next | masterlist

synopsis: You decide to try out the university confessions page as an anonymous submitter to write a vague paragraph about your feelings for Iwaizumi—oddly enough, students following the page seems to be hooked in your confession.

chapter content warning: college au, fluff, oikawa appearance :3, reader is helplessly in love with mr iwaizumi hajime, not beta read.

word count: 2.3k

notes: divider: cafekitsune. sorry this came a bit late >< i fell asleep LMAOOOOOO

Falling in love has always been a weird concept. One day you wake up, and feel completely different towards a certain someone who you swear you only love platonically; your heart starts to race faster whenever you’re in their presence, mind formulating a million different thoughts on how to act normally until it loses its meaning, suddenly becoming overly self conscious of one’s appearance, and always wanting to look your very best whenever they’re around—the whole package.

Unfortunately, you were all too familiar with this.

As though in a romance movie, the whole world slowed down as your eyes landed on the person before you, anything, and everything faded into nothing—a mere whitenoise behind the rapid pounding of your heart.

Iwaizumi’s hair gleamed beneath the sun’s afternoon rays, long lashes ghosted over the apple of his cheeks, rosy lips slightly puckered in concentration. You remembered it like yesterday—the strong aroma of roasted coffee beans, the light chatter of other customers in the café, the warm blanket of sunshine, the heart-stopping eye contact.

Iwaizumi called your name a total of three times until you finally broke free from your trance; everything flooded back the moment your name slipped past his parted lips for the third time—as though suddenly reeled from a freeze frame.

You remembered blinking at him, letting a heartbeat or two pass before asking him what he needed, though, Iwaizumi’s words entered one ear, and left the other; you were more focused on the way his plush lips moved with every word spoken, mind wondering what it’d feel like against your own.

That night, you tossed, and turned beneath your ivory blanket; mind a complete mess, and heart an even bigger mess. You just didn’t get why you had to catch feelings for Iwaizumi out of all people.

It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, never but everything between the two of you has been strictly platonic ever since—hell, you both even had a fair share of past relationships; you felt indifferent when Iwaizumi introduced his first girlfriend to you but now, just the thought introducing another woman made your stomach churn uncomfortably.

Realising that bottling up these feelings was a foolish thing to do, you scoured your mind for anything, and everything just to find some kind of release from all these unsaid thoughts. You were close to giving up, and retire for the night until a random thought popped into your mind,

Seijoh University Anonymous Confessions.

The unofficial page was undoubtedly popular amongst the students of the university, it served as a freedom wall where one was given the ability to express anything, and everything to fellow students behind anonymity; ranging from harmless rants about the meal prices all the way to heartfelt messages, you name it.

Submitting a confession was easy, all one had to do was fill up an anonymous form linked on the page, and wait ‘til moderators post it for everyone else to see.

You’ve always just been an avid reader of the confessions, a mere pastime in between lectures, and study breaks. It was interesting to see other students’ perspective, and thoughts in the campus you all shared, serving you a reminder that despite being in the same environment, everyone experienced things very differently.

Though, the only constant factor in everyone’s university lives was the confession page, even yours.

Despite the page ensuring full anonymity, it was still nerve-wracking to turn your feelings into words, your thumbs shook as you typed each letter into the anonymous form. You knew Iwaizumi would eventually see this confession despite only reading from the page from time to time, you just hoped it was vague enough for him to not notice—he was smart, and usually pieced clues together like it was nothing.

Surely out of all these students submitting confessions to this page everyday, Iwaizumi wouldn’t know, right?

The next few days consisted of refreshing said page, and waiting for your confession to pop up. “You’ve picked up your phone at least ten times in the past two minutes, what’s so interesting?” Oikawa’s dulcet voice pulled you into reality, your torso unceremoniously jerked away to shield your phone as he attempted to take a peek at the device in your hand.

The former narrowed his eyes at you but before he could throw a sly remark your way, Iwaizumi let out an annoyed sigh which gained yours, and Oikawa’s attention.

“Oikawa, if you’re bored, go bother someone outside the study room.”

The brunette playfully rolled his eyes before standing up to stretch, a small yawn slipping past his rosy lips. “Alright, I’m going to get some snacks. Anyone want any?” He grabbed his phone off the table before shifting his gaze between you, and Iwaizumi who only shook his head in silence, completely preoccupied with an assignment.

“Can I come?” “No, go scroll on your phone.”

Oikawa stuck his tongue out, not letting you protest before leaving the study room. The sound of the door clicking echoed throughout the walls of the study room, a deafening silence engulfed you, and Iwaizumi; for you, the silence was awkward, for him, it was completely normal.

If your heart were to pound any louder against your chest, you were sure he would’ve heard.

You randomly flipped through the pages of your textbook, trying to make yourself look busy. God, you couldn’t get more awkward than this. A flurry of overly self-conscious thoughts flooded your mind—would he think I’m weird for flipping too many pages? Fuck, am I reading this paragaph too fast? Is my posture okay? Oh god, I haven’t looked at a mirror all day, do I look fine? Is my hair messy?

Small, sharp prickles kissed down your body as heat engulfed you out of nowhere, cheeks warmed, and palms sweaty. You let out a sigh, nails digging into the skin of your nape, attempting to relieve the annoying itch.

“You okay? You seem very stressed lately.” Iwaizumi pushed his laptop screen halfway down to get a better view of you, he was slouched far into his seat, arms propped on either side of his laptop. His gaze met your own, deep emerald eyes boring into your very core. With a racing heart, you turned your mind upside down for an answer,

“Yeah . . I’m fine. Just tired is all.” Mentally cursing yourself, your nails harshly dug into the hearts of your palm—your voice came out small, and airy, not really convincing but whatever. If Iwaizumi caught your little white lie, he didn’t press on, instead returning a subtle dip of his chin before shifting his gaze back onto the laptop before him.

Sounds of soft keyboard tapping, and the low hum of the wall clock accompanied the deafening silence, you sat there twiddling your thumbs like a dumbass as if you weren’t supposed to be studying.

Iwaizumi wasn’t even doing anything yet here you were, warm faced, and as stiff as a board, if only he knew the effect he had on you. It was beyond embarrassing, really, how he was able to have this effect on you with little to no effort but then again, this was the Iwaizumi Hajime, of course it made sense.

For the first time in forever, you silently wished Oikawa came back as soon as possible—each second passed without a word spoken between you, and Iwaizumi, and you could really use the brunette right now to diffuse the growing awkwardness on your side.

As if the heavens answered your prayer, Oikawa came striding past the door, a bunch of snacks tucked neatly beneath his arm, and torso; you’ve never felt happier seeing him but you weren’t about to let anyone know. The brunette held his phone with his other hand, brown eyes concentrated on the device,

“Have you guys read the new confession? The page just posted it a couple of minutes ago.” He set the snacks on the table, and slid one your way before sitting down.

That’s right, just like you, Oikawa was also an avid reader of the university confessions page as though it was the morning newspaper. You couldn’t really blame him, the whole concept of it was interesting, plus, some confessions were rather strange but fascinating, nonetheless.

Iwaizumi wordlessly shook his head, not sparing a glance at his friend, you, on the other hand, felt a sudden wave of panic wash over your body. Did they finally post your confession? You squirmed in your seat, trying to act nonchalant, and completely normal about the situation at hand, “Mmm, no, not yet. Is it that interesting?”

Oikawa let out a low hum, an amused smile plastered on his face, with the way his gaze shifted back, and forth across the screen of his phone, he seemed to be reading the newest confession. The expression on Oikawa’s face did nothing to relax your nerves, he looked like he was enjoying every bit of the post—surely, you didn’t put much detail into it for anyone to piece it together or did you?

You expected the brunette to answer a simple yes or no along with a little explanation like he always did whenever he brought up the confessions page but apparently, he decided he’d read it out loud without you or Iwaizumi even asking.

Oikawa cleared his throat, “Here, I’ll read it out loud,” 

“Oh god. Never in a million years did I think this would happen to me but lately I’ve noticed that every time I see him, my heart starts racing. I can’t act normally around him anymore and he just looks so handsome whenever I see him. It’s hopeless, I know but some part of me wishes that my feelings are reciprocated. I don’t blame myself for falling in love because he’s such an amazing guy. He’s my everything, he knows that but he doesn’t know I don’t mean platonically. Sigh.”

As your friend read deeper into the paragraph, you slouched further into your seat, cheeks burning like the sun, and embarrassment engulfing your whole body. That was your confession. Fuck, you just wanted the floor to swallow you whole right then, and there.

Your eyes darted between Oikawa, and Iwaizumi, scanning their expressions—the former obviously had a smug smile on his face while the latter looked indifferent; the same old deadpan expression he’d worn since the start of your study session.

As if to make things worse for you, the brunette spoke up again, “It’s gaining quite the attention only because it's such a juicy confession, and students are trying to find out who’s in love with their best friend.” Oikawa chuckled, turning off his phone, and resting his palms behind his head.

What the fuck. How was your confession gaining more attention than the others? Last time you checked, yours was just a typical love confession, something all students have seen hundreds of times on the page, nothing special.

“W-what? Why? Why is it gaining attention?” Your tone came out more panicked than intended. Upon realising this, you awkwardly cleared your throat, and took a sip from your water bottle to help your nerves calm a tad bit before speaking up once again, “What’s so interesting about it, anyway?”

Oikawa shrugged, “Just a typical love confession but I’m not going to lie, it’s always interesting whenever someone has feelings for their best friend.”

Grabbing the snack Oikawa gave you earlier, you hastily opened the bag, and popped a chip in your mouth. Yeah, maybe eating something will calm your nerves.

This time, it was Iwaizumi’s turn to speak up, “Mhm. I’m guessing everyone’s just curious about it, maybe many can relate. It’s not easy being in love with your best friend.” He finally looked up from his laptop, dark emerald eyes shifting from Oikawa to you.

His gaze lingered a little too long for your liking which caused your brain to short circuit. Before you knew it, all you could do was listen to the sound of your yearning heart, fingers curling around the chip packet as your grip tightened.

You sucked in a breath, and averted your gaze from Iwaizumi, staring at the contents of your chip packet, “True . . I feel sorry for OP, especially since it's a long term friendship.” At least your voice didn’t come out shaky this time. Iwaizumi only nodded, he seemed to be in deep thought, whatever the reason was, you absolutely didn’t want to know.

Back in your dorm, you couldn’t help but check the comments under your confession, and as Oikawa stated earlier, majority of it were students tagging their friends on the post, and trying to find out who’s in love with their best friend. Some also gave sound advice about the situation which you appreciated, though, you didn’t know if you were really ready for a face to face confession with Iwaizumi.

Weirdly enough, the unexpected attention gave you a bit of confidence now that you were looking at it from another perspective. Earlier, it felt like a complete nightmare with how much other students were invested in your sad lovelife but now that you’ve calmed down, it was reassuring to see others give blind support, and words of encouragement.

Safe to say, there was still a hint of community between students despite everyone fighting their way through the semesters.

Plus, everyone seemed to await your next confession post, so who were you to deny them that? After all, you couldn’t really talk about it with anyone else, why not share it with the student population behind anonymity?

As expected, not only did your confession gain more traction within the next few days, but friends from classes you’re taking have also been talking about it. Though you couldn’t really comprehend what was so special about your submission, your feelings felt nothing but valid. Suddenly, it didn’t really feel like much of a crime being in love with your best friend—running away from your feelings was never an option but you’d be lying if you said it didn’t once cross your mind.

A million thoughts from students floated throughout the campus regarding the confession; ‘I wonder what their best friend is like?—he must be a really amazing guy.’ ‘I’m kind of curious as to what the person behind the confession is going to do next.’ ‘Heh, what if this confession is actually meant for me?’ ‘When will it be my turn?’

You’ve heard it all.

Despite everyone’s attention on the post, you just really wished that in the back of Iwaizumi’s mind, there was a pressing thought telling him the confession might be for him.

—

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tags: @stunie @akumakitsune21 @boosyboo9206 @khfviq @avis-writeshq @elliesndg @1929sleepdeprived @wakashudou @lillycore @viscoolreal @lialia3945 @softpia (drop a comment/ask if you wanna be tagged! make sure to turn your mentions on :3)

affiliated with @houseofsolisoccasum & @the-all-stars-network !

© chrollogy 2024 | don't plagiarise, repost or steal my header.

[ghxstwrites]

3000 Miles away...

Pairing: Idol! Bang Chan x Fem! Reader

Summary: When being away from your childhood best friend for too long makes every second together that much better

WC: 3021

AU: childhood friends to lovers (it’s delulu hours here)

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Warning(s): Call your dentist, you’ll need to fill a couple cavities after this one, maybe a tissue based on the beta read. Pet names (my favorite girl, channie, sunshine) clingy bangchan?

A/N: Big thanks to @bunnliix for the proof read/beta on this, sorry for the tears... Banner credits to @cafekitsune for some super cute banners! <3

Nets: @mirohs-aurora-society

“Y/n… I have.. I have something I need to tell you” Chris looked over at you as the two of you sat on the swings.

“What?” you looked over at your best friend, curiously. 

“Do you remember how I told you when I got older.. I wanted to be a performer?..” He looked down and kicked the mulch around under his feet “Well… I...Auditioned...” 

============================================================== You and Christopher had been friends since primary school,  you’d moved to Australia at a very young age and a very small Chris was one of the very first friends you made. Ever since that day you’d been inseparable, most of the time if you were around he wasn’t far behind. 

You’d first learned about Christopher’s desire to be a an artist when you guys were barely 10 - you’d been over at his house, and he’d decided to good around on the piano, playing - something - as to what no one knew, as you looked at him and laughed “You know, you should be like… an artist or something someday” you giggled at him “you’re so talented” you fake mocked his ability.

 Looking back on it he was actually quite impressive  for such a young age. The few times you were at his house just as his piano lessons were ending you’d caught the artistic sounds flowing from his family room. You would have listened to him play for days.

“Oh shut up,” he retorted back at you in a squeaky voice as he laughed, causing you to share a giggle. “You laugh Y/n but one day, I will be all big and famous and you’ll be looking back ‘I knew him when’ and you’ll be all jealous,” you both giggled shortly after his mother called the both of you for dinner.

Bringing you to today, as the both of you had walked to the park to hang out because he sister had friends over and you guys had gotten tired of the teasing. You’d been hanging out for a while when you guys made your way to sit on the swing, you’d been talking for a while but you’d noticed something was wrong.

“Chris?” you’d spoke up “Yeah?” he looked up at you.

“Are you… Okay? You look sad..” you’d pouted at him He sighed  as he spoke “Y/n… I have.. I have something I need to tell you” Chris looked over at you as the two of you sat on the swings.

“What?” you looked over at your best friend, curiously. 

“Do you remember how I told you when I got older.. I wanted to be a performer?..” He looked down and kicked the mulch around under his feet “Well…I...Auditioned...and I passed, and they wanna fly me to Korea..” as he looked back to the ground, avoiding your reaction.

“Oh.. When -""Last weekend, I went last weekend and I heard yesterday” He’d cut you off, Knowing  what you were going to ask him, as he looked back at you, only to see your confused and vaguely hurt expression. You just smiled “you did it… you actually did it” you chuckled “When.. When do you leave..?” your smile started to falter, you were happy for him but… this meant that you’d be losing your best friend. “ 2 weeks? I think.. We’re still figuring stuff out” he chuckled out the response softly.

“Promise me when you make it big.. You’ll still remember me?” you chuckle.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You’d sat in your room as you are working on a project for work when you see a text pop up

Channie <3: Are you free?

For you, always 

No sooner did you send the text did you get a facetime notification from him. “Hey you, I’m just finishing getting ready for bed and wanted to check on my favorite girl,” he smiles at the camera as you see him pull a hoodie over his head getting comfortable in bed as he watches you work. “Wait a second, Mister, why are you just now laying down - Isn't it after midnight there?” you paused your work looking at your phone screen, knowing how tight his schedules have been lately.

He laughs at you “Yeah.. but I couldn’t miss our regularly scheduled facetime call… again,”  He shyly looks around feeling a bit guilty, “plus we have tomorrow off”

“Fine… you get a pass just this once,” you chuckle at him. “But you know I understand you’re busy right? I could never be mad at you to begin with especially during comeback season Chris… you’re working so hard.” you say softly as you place your chin in your hand looking at him as he smiles, hiding in his hoodie causing you to laugh. “You’re gonna make me blush,” he laughs as his head pokes back out of his hoodie.”Good” you retort back at him, laughing. “You deserve to know how proud I am of you, how proud everyone is. You know.. “ your voice softened as you spoke, looking at him through the camera. He smiled softly. A smile you’d grown to love because it meant he understood what you’d said, even if he didn’t say it. 

He let out a soft sigh, causing you to look back over at his sleepy form. “Chris? What's wrong?” you knitted your brows together in confusion. “I miss you..” he lulls out. “I miss my best friend, more than ever recently,” He chuckles softly, seeming a little embarrassed at his confession. “I miss you too, you know.. It's been too long since we’ve curled up on my couch for a move and some shitty take out,” you smiled trying to pull him out of his current mental state. 

“I’ll be home next month, and you’re the first stop as soon as I land,” he stated, causing you to smile “I can’t wait,” you responded. “I’ll make sure I’ll keep your favorite snacks around because I know you’ll be here more than at your own house,” you chuckled at him. “Is it a crime to want to see my favorite person?” he scoffs as he hears you start to laugh.

 The laugh he’d never tell you warmed his heart, made everything seem a little better. When he was having a terrible day and you guys would talk, the minute you’d giggle or laugh, he’d forgotten what made him upset in the first place. He just smiled back at you, his best friend. 

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One day you’d been at your apartment, tidying up as you normally do on the weekends, you’d known Bang Chan would be coming home to visit within a couple days so you wanted to make sure your space was tidy for him. You knew he’d had a day off today but you’d not heard from him, even despite the time difference you’d usually hear from him by now so you pull out your phone to text him.

Chris? I just wanted to check on you - you’re normally alive by now, is everything okay?

You waited a bit before setting your phone back on the counter, you chalked it up to maybe he pulled another all nighter at the studio and just hadn't woken up yet, so you put your phone down and continued to clean.

His plane just landed in Australia, not even his own family knew he was here, he wanted to see you. As soon as he gets off the plane and back through customs, he’s all but sprinting to your apartment. It’d been almost a year since you guys had properly seen each other, and he was not about to wait a second longer.

His ride from the airport he’d seen your text, and he didn’t respond because he knew he’d give himself away. You were bad at surprises but he was worse. He got dropped off in front of your apartment, and he scrambled up to your door.

You’d been playing their most recent comeback blasting through your phone speaker to keep you motivated, because you were nothing if not his #1 supporter from day one. Just as the song finished you heard a knock at your door, causing you to pause, both yourself and the music. Was it louder than you thought and your neighbor was coming to yell at you again?

Carefully you made your way over to your door as you opened it, ready to spew apologies when - Chris? You’d stood there wide eyed, were your eyes playing tricks on you? He stood there and looked at you, with his signature smile - the one only you knew. 

“Christopher?....” you’d managed to speak up after a few moments of silence “Surprise” he managed to get out as he giggled. You rushed into his arms engulfing him in a hug, nearly sending the both of you tumbling back as he laughed hugging you closer to him. “What are you - why are you here? You aren't supposed to be back for a couple more days!” you choked out, on the verge of tears. Causing him to pull back and look at you. 

“Hey, no crying. You know by now if you cry I will too.” He chuckled “Schedules ended earlier than anticipated and I knew I was needed at home..” he smiled softly at you “Wait..is that my shirt?” He looked down at your casual attire. “Oh.. yeah.. I wore it to sleep in, I didn’t change yet because I was just cleaning today.” You felt a blush creep across your face, hoping he didn’t notice, which he seemingly did not due to just his small laugh. 

You’d welcomed him in, as he took his suitcases to the spare room in your apartment, which you only had because when you moved out he convinced you to get a place with a second room so he could come stay with you when he was in town. You’d heard the shower turn on, figuring he was trying to wash up from traveling, taking note of the time you pulled out your phone ordering his favorite take out. 

Just as he rejoins you in the living room he smells the freshly delivered food and spots you setting up something in your living room “y/n?” he calls out to you, causing you to turn around and you can’t help but smile. “It’s your favorite -  I didn’t have time to go get your favorite snacks so I wanted to do this instead… movie night?” you smiled sheepishly at him causing him to return a much wider smile to you. 

Later that night after eating your fill of takeout, catching up and watching your fair share of terrible movies together you found yourself cuddled up to him, as your eyelids began to grow heavy he took notice. “You know… we can go to bed at any time right?” he spoke softly almost as if he was scared he’d wake you up. “But.. Want to spend time with you,” you cooed at him, half asleep, causing his heart to swell. “I’ll be here when you wake up, you know..” you stirred slightly and nodded your head letting out a defeated “Okay…”  

You’d sleepily stumbled to your own bed with him right behind you making sure you got there safely, once you were in bed he turned around to walk out. 

“Channie?...”  you had whined out for him, pulling at his heart strings he had no other choice but to turn around, it was a nickname you’d picked up from his fans and he grew to love it when you called him that, he turned around and perked up “hmm? What is it, Sunshine?” you’d returned the smile. The nickname he’d given you so many years ago that started  out as a joke, but as you two grew up he realized just how true it was - you were his sunshine.

“Will you stay with me tonight?.. I missed you,” you whined out, you guys had shared a bed all those years ago and usually only when you guys had one too many bottles of soju, but something about the way you asked him… He couldn’t say no. He let out a soft giggle and crawled into bed next to you, almost immediately you drew closer to him as if he was your favorite stuffed animal. 

Christopher looked down at you, smiling as he gently removed pieces of your hair from your face. Your eyes fluttered up to meet his with a soft but sleepy smile “thank you..” was all you could get out before yawning, causing him to laugh, and unbeknownst to you, tug at his heart strings. 

For years now, he’s cherished the late night facetime calls, phone conversations, random visits, everything you two could do together, everything you did. All those years ago, back when you were standing at the airport with his family, he realized he could never let you go, not because you were all he’d ever known, but because he was in love with you. It took years for him to finally admit it to himself, but he swore you’d never know, he needed you - and if that meant as a friend, he’d learn to love you just the same. “Chris?” your voice broke him out of his thoughts as he looked down at you. “Hmm?” he responded softly as he cupped your face, gently stroking his thumb over your cheek, almost in an attempt to cradle you to sleep. “You’re staring… “ you giggled at him “you only ever stare when you’re so deep in thought it’s nearly impossible to snap you out of it.” he blushed at your words hiding his face in the pillow, laughing softly, “Sorry.. I guess you could say.. I’m just happy to be back home.” he manages, causing you to smile back at him “and i'm happy I have home back.” your words barely above a whisper and he swears he wouldn’t have heard it had he not been staring at you.

He can't help but chuckle and he feels like his ears are on fire, he was home to you too? “C’mere you,” he laughs as he pulls you into his chest, you smile, wrapping yourself around him, resting your face in the crook of his neck. 

This, this was home, it always had been since you two were kids. 

Growing up, Christopher was slightly older, so at first you always viewed him as your big brother, he kept the mean kids away, growing into making sure the things kids were making fun of you for weren't true, to almost getting into a fight before he flew to Korea because one of your childhood bullies figured out he wouldn’t be around  to protect you. Christophers arms were there to welcome you anytime you needed him, something you only realized you’d missed when you needed him and he was 1000’s of miles away in a different time zone, when you realized you were in love with your best friend. “Chris… I… I missed this…I missed you…” you feel yourself tearing up, and you weren't sure if it was the tiredness or his scent filling your nose, replaying memories like an old tape that caused it, but you just held him tighter. He pulled back just enough to look down at your tear stained cheeks as he made an attempt to shush you softly. “Sunshine.. I’m here, and I'm not going anywhere, what’s gotten you so flustered?” He coos at you, wiping your tears away, causing you to look up at him as you sniffle.

“I just missed you… Dinner and seeing you sooner than expected just.. It made me realize just how much of me is missing when you’re gone.” you stammer out at him. He smiles at you, a smile worth a thousand words.”I leave a part of me here when I go back to Korea too you know..’ he whispers in kind. 

You look up through your wet lashes to see him smiling at you. “W-what do you mean?” you say softly back to him, trying to wipe the tears off your face, you can't help but notice the blush creeping back onto his face as you ask him.”Chris…?” you ask him curiously. “Y/n.. I.. i can’t do this anymore” he says to you almost defeated as he looks away from you causing your heart to race from the anxiety. “What..What do you mean?” you can feel the tears welling back up. Seeing your reaction he rushes to comfort you, pulling you closer to him. “Listen sunshine… that isn’t what I meant.. I mean..” he pauses and lets out a heavy sigh “I just.. You’re my favorite girl, my best friend, but you’re more than that…” he pulls back to look at you.

“I’m in love with you…” he says barely above a whisper. 

“What..?” you look up at him, puzzled, “For ho-” 

“Since we were 13, in the airport when I realized just what i’d done, staring back at you waiting for me, i knew when the sadness i felt wasn’t because i’d be leaving you behind, but I’d miss you and everything we did together…” he cups your face, forcing you to look up at him. “And I can’t keep acting like I don’t.” He studies your face, silently begging for some sort of response. “Christopher.. I.. “ you searched for words, for over 10 years now the two of you had been pinning for each other without the other's knowledge, and it all came to this, rain falling outside as you two stared back at the other. 

“I love you too” you stated softly and simply.

He chuckles softly as if he can’t believe what he’s heard, he leans in pressing his lips to yours softly as it feels like a lifetime's worth of emotions flows through the two of you. Every argument, every forgotten goodbye, every missed phone call, every celebration, every moment the two of you shared, all of it being poured into this moment, if his smile spoke 1000 words, his kisses spoke for a million more. 

He slowly pulls away from you, still softly caressing your face.

“Forever?”

“And always, Christopher.”

[irisintheafterglow]

don't even know, i'm talkin' nonsense

summary: on his way back from a patrol shift, your boss gets hit with a mystery quirk that affects his speech. you're the only one in the office who can help him (pro!bakugo x you).

wc: 2k

cw/tags: swearing cuz bakugo's here and he's angry, miscommunication-based comedy, idiot(s) in love, coworkers to lovers, a little bit of angst/comfort but it's just for the plot yk

note: i'm not sure where the concept of this came from; i was just listening to sabrina carpenter and was like,,,, hey i can use this. so have this! hope you like it :))

likes, reblogs, and replies are appreciated <3

“Okay, go over it one more time for me. I think I’ve got it,” you reassure him, only to be met with a skeptical glare. “I’m serious; I think I understand it, even though it took forever.” You tap the whiteboard of the meeting room with the red marker in your hand, slightly tired from scribbling down as much as you could comprehend from your boss’ vague gestures. He exhales deeply, dragging a hand down his face, and gives you an impatient look. “Ready when you are."

“Fucking hell, I can’t believe this is happening to me.”

“I didn’t understand a word of what you just said,” you remind him and he shoots you a withering glare that doesn’t deter you in the slightest. “And don’t try to write it, since that clearly didn’t work.” You glance at the scribbled mess of letters scratched onto a yellow notepad of paper, Bakugo’s first attempt to communicate that something was off when speech was not working.

“I fucking know that! You don’t think I can’t remember that you have no idea what I’m fucking saying?” You blink at him, desperately biting your tongue to avoid bursting out laughing. Even though Bakugo had been hit with a quirk that was creating some very entertaining moments in an otherwise bland office job, he could still make his palms crackle dangerously in warning. “Remind me to fire you when I get out of this.” You can’t control your laughter that time and you let a snort slip from your throat, wincing when his scathing eyes stare menacingly into you. 

“Sorry, I am so sorry,” you laugh quietly, attempting to subtly wipe a tear from your eye. “It’s just that…that time it was a dolphin.” You scrunch your face to avoid laughing again and try so hard that it makes your stomach hurt. Your boss continues to stand there, absolutely mortified, while you add another animal to the list of sounds that have come out of his mouth. Since he re-entered the office after a seemingly normal patrol shift, the noises of a bear, horse, mouse, tiger, monkey, a bird you couldn’t identify, and now a dolphin had exited his mouth in place of his scratchy voice. You thought it was a sneeze, the first time the bear roar had echoed through the office, but were equally perplexed when you asked him to sign a form and the only answer you received was high-pitched squeaking. 

“There’s no fucking way,” he’d muttered under his breath when you first explained to him what you thought was happening. It became all too real as his face paled when you played what your phone recorded as his “voice,” which only came out as the insistent hoots of a monkey. He was used to receiving weird looks on the street, especially when civilians realized that they were walking next to one of the top Pros in the country, but it dawned on him that they may have not heard his usual voice when he barked at them to move. “And you’re the only one in the office right now?” 

“I have no idea what you’re saying,” you inform him carefully. “But, if you’re wondering if anyone else is here to help you, there’s not.” You can only imagine what kind of colorful expletives he yelled by the unrelenting scream of bird noises that left his mouth. “And I was about to leave, so if you want me to stay and help–” 

“I don’t need your fucking help.”

“Oh, great. You’re a horse now,” you deadpan, understanding from his facial expressions alone what he was trying to communicate. “Well, if you don’t need my help, have fun explaining to the guys why you sound like you swallowed a zoo.” Your boss’ face turns bright red at the idea of showing up to dinner with his old classmates in his current state. He fires off a single, precise shot at the rubber door stop before you can exit the meeting room, effectively locking you in there with him until you sort out how to fix him. “So, you do want my help?” You turn to look at him with a knowingly innocent smirk, delighted to find him seething in place but reluctantly nodding. “What’s the magic word?” A single horse neigh echoes through the meeting room and you head to the whiteboard. “Alright, let’s get to work.”

You spent the next hour and a half playing a ridiculous game of charades with Bakugo after the alarming discovery that anything he tried to write would become illegible scribbles. You figured that it was just an effect of the Quirk itself, which seemed to give the user the ability to communicate with different animals without being understood by humans. If an eavesdropper managed to figure out what they were saying, the words would become unreadable on the page for further secrecy. Despite inconveniencing your boss and preventing you from leaving the office on time, it did serve as an important tool in the Quirk-stealing weapons trade you’d been investigating. The only issue now was to figure out where Bakugo was hit. 

“So, you’re walking down 25th.” A nod. “And make a right on Pine?” His palm hits his forehead in frustration. “No, no, not right. A left, towards 24th.” Another nod. “And that-that alley, by the coffee shop with the good strawberry milk teas?” More aggressive nodding. “That’s where you got hit? With the dart?” He slams his hand on the desk, nodding furiously. You stare at him, slightly in disbelief as you pull out a rolling chair and slump into it. “How the hell did you get pulled into that alley?” 

“Someone was screaming for help and I’m a hero so I go help them, I don’t fucking know.”

“Dolphin again,” you smirk and he rolls his eyes. “But, really. You don’t ever go that route since it’s too out of the way from where your patrol ends. What were you doing on that side of town?” He pauses, his mouth drawn into a tight line and his eyebrows drawn as he searches for an explanation in his brain. Truth be told, he had no idea what possessed him to take that route back to the office. All he could recall were snapshots, little Polaroids of information that, if he pieced them together, made a relatively cohesive explanation. He’d snapped at you unfairly, a common snap of his temper, but the hurt on your face affected him more than he was willing to admit. Something bothered him about your tense expression and it continued to bother him when he was out of the office and kicking villains into the dirt. It seemed like instinct was the only reason why he headed in the direction of the cafe with the strawberry milk he knew you liked. “Well?”  

He blinks at you once, twice, and then stands abruptly and swings open the door. You watch him through the room’s tall windows as he enters his private office briefly and exits with a cardboard drink holder. A minute later, a plastic cup with the taut seal unbroken is unceremoniously set in front of you, along with a large straw to suck up the extra strawberry bits he knew you always ordered. 

“What is this?”

“What does it look like, idiot?”

“I know it looks like a drink, but why did you get it for me?” His eyes widen with the idea that you could understand him again, but you’re quick to shut him down. “And no, I can’t understand you yet. Right now, you’re a tiger.” You half expect him to launch the other drink, something brown sugar looking, at the wall; instead, he pulls out the chair next to you and stabs his straw into the plastic, gesturing for you to do the same. You obey hesitantly, eyeing him curiously as he avoids your questioning expression. “Thank you.” He huffs, something you’ve learned is the only response he gives to gratitude. “You really didn’t need to do this.”

“I hurt your fucking feelings, of course I needed to.” You’re staring at him again, you and your pretty eyes and kind smile and uncanny ability to withstand even his most fiery temper tantrums. He’d discovered his feelings for you months ago and it was like a speed bump was put in front of him every time you were near, always making him trip or say something stupid. Bakugo was never known to be good with his words or his feelings, but you made him feel so warm inside that he’d be a fool to deny what it was. “I guess it’s good that you can’t understand me right now because I can vent about how stupid you make me feel.” You hum, a fond glint catching in your eye. 

“That’s a new one. You’re a chicken right now.” You laugh and he can feel his forehead get airy, like he’d chugged three sojus. What he felt was sweeter, though, without the bitter taste that always followed alcohol. To him, you were pure light. 

“Makes sense, ‘cause I’m too much of a dumbass to tell you how much I care about you. Fuckin’ idiot.” 

“You sure have a lot to say, boss. Go on and let me pretend I’m on a poultry farm.” You take another sip of your drink and close your eyes, appreciating his unexpected gift. “A much needed vacation, in my opinion.”

“There you go again with your stupid sarcasm and your stupid laugh. You’re insufferable, you know that? Always making me run around in circles because I don’t know what I’m fucking doing around you.” You raise your eyebrows melodramatically and nod at him slowly, still having no idea what he’s trying to communicate. “You’re lucky you’re pretty because if you were anyone else, I’d fucking deck them right now.” Your attention shoots to him but gives no indication that you comprehended what he just said, so he goes on. “I wanna take you out to dinner sometime, but I think I’m a little too proud to admit how much I like you. Fucking hell, you don’t know what you do to me.” 

“Hey, boss?”

“The fuck do you want?”

“The Quirk wore off,” you breathe, in complete shock from what he just unknowingly confessed to you. You’d be less surprised if he’d told you that he murdered his way up to the top three. “You started speaking normally when you said,” you pause to try to slow your racing pulse in your ears, “that I was pretty.” You sneak a look at him out of the corner of your eye to find him bright red and mirroring your wide-eyed expression. “I guess the effects wore off pretty fast?” 

“Yep,” he forces out. “Must have.”

“You really think I’m pretty?”

“It’s why I got you the fucking drink, stupid,” he mumbles, still examining the shiny wood of the table. “Didn’t want you to be sad.” An idea pops into your head and you shrug, leaning nonchalantly back into your chair. You can feel his eyes watching you, reading your body language.

“I know something that would make me less sad.” 

“Oh, yeah? What’s that?” You shrug and let the corner of your mouth turn up, brushing a stray blonde hair from his face. You didn’t think it was possible to turn such a deep shade of pink and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t amused by how miserable he looked. 

“Take me out to dinner,” you reply, chuckling at the way his nostrils flare. “Repeat all the stuff you said while you were speaking zookeeper. Beside the love confession, of course. I understood that pretty well.” 

“God, you’re ridiculous,” he mutters, grabbing your hand and dragging you out of the office. “Next time I get you that strawberry milk, you’ll be there with me. Then we’ll both have that stupid quirk.” 

“Mmm, great. We can both tell each other how much we like each other while speaking dolphin.”

if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi! you can also check out my full masterlist here :)

[spearsillustration]

🏛️ Senator Shockwave X Cybertronian Female Assistant Reader (Part 1/3)

Notes: Why did I ever have to learn that Shockwave had a super tragic backstory? When I was younger he was my least favorite Decepticon since I just thought he was pure evil. Practically crying after seeing what happened to him in the comics. And his line "Remember me as I was-." Was an even harder blow. 😭

This will probably end up being super long. I had half of this planned and the other kind of thrown in randomly so not my best work but I'm proud of it nonetheless. 

- I fear this might be a boring read, So I'd love some feedback after you finish reading this. - 

Part 2/3 -

Word count - 5,424

Page number - 15.2

        I was rushing to get to the senate building where I had a meeting this morning. I went to the front desk asking where I could find Shockwave. The person at the front desk gave me extremely vague directions. I just hoped I could find his office. 

        Luckily for me, I found an office that looked at least a bit useful I could probably ask for better directions. I lightly knocked on the door to politely get their attention. 

        He seemed lost in thought before looking up at the door where I stood. 

        "Oh, welcome to the senate. How can I help you?"

        "I'm sorry to bother you, I was scheduled for an interview with Shockwave for the assistant position and seed to have gotten myself lost," I said shyly from the door. I was definitely lost.

        "I'm probably in the wrong place."

        He looks up from his desk. "Ah, yes. That was today. You're in the right place."

        He stood up, moving around the desk to greet me at the door. "Please, do come in. Take a seat."

        I tried my best to shake off my nerves and smiled. "Of course thank you."

        He gestured to the seat across his desk.

        "Please, make yourself comfortable." He returns to his seat. "May I have your name first and foremost?

        "(Y/N) sir. It's nice to finally meet you in person." 

        "(Y/N), hm? Well, it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance. And you said you were here for the assistant position?"

        "Correct." I kept my hand neatly folded in my lap so I wouldn't nervously fidget.

        "Right."He leaned back in his chair, seemingly studying me before nodding.

        "Now, just so you are aware, as my assistant, you would essentially be my second pair of hands. You would need to be there at my beck and call for anything I may need." He explained. "You will also need to keep track of my calendar and make sure it's up-to-date and correct at all times. Can you do that?"

        "Yes sir."

        "Very good. I should also mention, that if you *do* get this position, it will be long hours. Long hours and more than a few late nights. Do you think you can handle that?"

        "Nothing I can't handle, I'm a night owl myself so some late hours aren't a problem for me."

        He seems pleased enough. "Excellent, as a follow-up question, are you at all familiar with my work or... philosophy?"

        "Of course, I've read some of your historical studies and other works related to your late mentor. I always found it quite interesting."

        "As you should!" He leaned forward on his desk, a slight smile on his face as he spoke, clearly pleased by my answer. "I find a surprising amount of people in this city don't see the true potential of the technology we develop. Not to mention our society itself. But I can sense you're a bit more aware than the average individual."

        "I graduated from the same academy you went to. I've seen some of your work firsthand. It was one of my old professors who told me you were looking for an assistant so I quickly applied to work with you."

        He chuckled heartily at this news. "Ah, is that so? Hah, they're still teaching my work? I'd almost be flattered if that old building hadn't fallen apart even more since my time there. But, I digress, it's an interesting coincidence, of our... similar histories. Although I can't say most of my old professors had anything positive to say about me, to my face or not."

        "Yeah he can be quite stern but he seems proud of your accomplishments. He almost made my spark give out when he sent me a message telling me about you. Not very often he reaches out."

        He laughed again. "That old coot? Hah! You know, I don't think he's changed a bolt since I first met him. Always so "passionate" about progress, about expanding our minds and inventing new technology and whatnot."

        He leaned back against his chair again, taking a moment to size you up as a person.

        "And he has a soft spot for you, does he?"

        "Apparently and completely unexpected. I graduated five years ago and this is the first time I remember speaking to him besides running into him a few times. I always thought he hated me or at least my class." I laughed at the thought.

        He chuckled as well, shaking his head. "Oh, he most "definitely" thought of your class as a bunch of dunder-headed fools and idiots. I couldn’t count on my servo how many classes of his I had to sit through as he bemoaned the incompetence of his students. But something about you… must've caught his optics."

        "I suppose, but you as well it seems. He talked pretty highly of you. But he also said at least one of his students had to do something with their lives." 

        "Did he, now? Hah! I can hear it now…Well, at least at least ONE of my students will accomplish something*.”

        He imitated the professor, lowering his voice and making it harsher and gruff to replicate him. I couldn't help but laugh at his silly impression. Causing his smile to grow wider as he continues the imitation, laughing himself. 

        “Shockwave! Yes, I remember him… He was the ONE I had hopes for. He had a good brain! But now he’s a politician, so I can see it’s all gone to his head!" He continued.

        "Sounds about right. If I closed my eyes I'd think I was back in the academy."

        He chuckled, resting his arms back on his desk and watching me intently. It seemed he enjoyed my presence. 

        "He certainly did have a way with words, I'll give him that. As I said, very passionate. Very *very* passionate. Okay back on topic. So tell me, miss (Y/N), why do you want this job?"

        "I'm honestly interested in working with you. Your research is top notch and you're a politician I fully support."

        His smile widened. "Ah, a flattery, as well as a loyalist. You're a sharp one. And a quick learner, I imagine." He leaned back in his seat a bit. "Now, tell me this; if you don’t mind, what interests you about my work the most? I’m curious."

        "Your outlook on the future Is quite interesting and you seem to be one of the only researchers interested in our resources. You are aware that as our population grows we need more energon mainly. Too many people try to simply think in the present which won't help us in the long run." I accidentally ranted on. 

        He nodded, pleased with my answer. "So you understood what he was trying to accomplish...Precisely. People in this city, especially those I work with up in the Senate, are more concerned with now, or themselves more than Cybertron as a whole. In this day and age, a city of this size requires a very specific amount of energon for it to thrive. And we’ve nearly used up our planet’s natural resources." He laced his fingers together. "Something must be done to maintain that balance."

        "And I know your research is to find a solution. I'd love to assist you in that endeavor."

        He smiled at this. "It’s been a while since someone was so enthusiastic, or willing, to assist in his cause, let alone someone with a similar mindset to my own. I like you. You’ve got ambition, you’re quick, and you seem to be capable of thinking for yourself. It’s very refreshing, I’ll say that much."

        "Thank you, sir." 

        "Oh please, sir makes me feel old. Just call me Shockwave.  I have a question for you if you don’t mind."

        "Oh of course Shockwave."

        "Now, I have to ask. You’re not interested in getting into politics, are you?" He chuckled softly. "You’d either be a terrifying political opponent or an excellent addition, given what I’ve seen."

        "Oh me, I couldn't do politics. I'm a horrible public speaker. I stumble my words and get super anxious." I answered a bit too honestly.

        "A shy one? I never would’ve guessed." He seemed almost genuinely surprised. "You carry yourself well. You look like a confident person, you certainly sound it, although a bit reserved."

        "I do the best I can in professional settings."

        "Fair enough." He seemed to think for a moment, studying me, then smiled again. "Tell you what. How about I give you a week-long trial? See how you can handle yourself working alongside me, get a true taste of the position, hmm?"

        "That sounds perfect to me." 

        He smiled, nodding in agreement, and stood up. "Excellent, be here at 9 am, next Monday, sharp. No being late, first impression, and all that. I’ll clear out some space at my desk for you, you’ll be working there for the majority of the time. I’m expecting good things from you, (Y/N)."

        "Thank you so much, you won't regret your decision." I shake his hand with a smile.

        "So I shouldn’t, (Y/N)" He grips my hand firmly in a handshake, his expression stern yet pleased, before it softens again as he releases you. You best be on your way now, you know the way out. Until next Monday, it’s been a pleasure, I’m looking forward to working with you."

        "Me as well. See you Monday." I stood up and gave him a curt nod with a smile before leaving.

        I was so giddy with excitement the second the door closed behind me I had to take a deep breath to calm myself.

        Can't wait to start.

---

[Time skip to Monday]

        I made sure to leave early so I wouldn't be late. I arrived at his facility half an hour early so I walked the halls a bit anxiously waiting for the proper time to enter his office. I think five minutes early would suffice. When I stepped into his office, he looked up from his work, smiling at me.

        "Ah, (Y/N) right on time. Good, you seem to be a punctual individual, good quality to have."

        "I do the best I can Shockwave."

        "That’s what I like to hear," He set down the datapad he was going over and got up from his chair, gesturing to the small, clearly recently made space on the other side of his desk. "Come, take a seat."

        "Thank you." I walked over to my new nicely organized work space.

        He stepped out of the way as you slid into the seat, standing next to you as he gestured to your area. "Ah, I had one of the staff set that up for you last Friday. I trust it’s to your liking. If not, feel free to request a change whenever you feel necessary."

        "No It'll work perfectly for me."

        He nodded, satisfied with my response, then pointed at the datapad he had put down earlier. "Speaking of which, your primary function here will be to assist me. You’ll be taking care of my calendar, and you’ll also be a sort of���second pair of hands. Whatever I may need you to do around the office, I expect you to do it well, with minimal error, and promptly. Is that understood?

        "Completely." 

        He smiled, pleased, and sat back down in his chair. "Excellent, and remember, my work here is private, what you see or hear in this office stays in this office, understood?"

        "Of course, I figured as much with your position."

        His smile grew. "You learn quickly, good. That’s a very necessary quality to have, around here."

        He put a fresh datapad in front of me. "Now, first thing’s first. Open that, and familiarize yourself with my schedule for the day."

        "Understood," I said reading through the list. "Seems like an easy workload for today. Some paperwork to sort through, and meeting with one of your fellow senators later this evening. Which in the end would probably include more paperwork to fill out."

        Shockwave nodded, watching intently as I quickly read through his schedule. "Very good, correct on both counts. Very observant, I must say. Tell me, you read fast, don’t you?"

        "Yes sir, always have. I quite enjoy it as well."

        He smiled again, resting his chin against his fist as he studied me from behind his desk, amused by how enthusiastic I was. Eager to learn, eager to work. Exactly the kind of person he had been looking for I hoped.

        "Reading is a hobby of yours, then?"

        "Yep,"  I answered while looking at the data pad.

        He chuckled and leaned back in his Chair, "Any other hobbies you might have? You know I’m going to do a background check on you, I might as well have the whole list."

        "Reading, writing, and art are the main things I enjoy." 

        He raised an eyebrow, intrigued by that. "Reading, writing, and art, hm…? You’re a creative type, then?"

        "Yes, and it comes in quite handy for work."

        He smiled again, leaning his chin against his palm. "Oh, I imagine it does. And these aren’t just things you do during your leisure time? You put them to good use, as well? I’m almost jealous, I have a one-track mind, it’s all about politics and work."

        "Well, we all work differently." Though it was a bit disheartening to hear. He must overwork himself.

        He chuckled bitterly like I read his mind, confirming my thoughts.

        "Indeed we all do. But unfortunately, politics isn’t kind to individuals with many, diverse, interests. My mind tends to hyper-fixate on the present, on work, and my research. Sometimes I wish it weren’t that way…" He paused, thinking for a moment.

        "Say, what time was my meeting later?" He changed the subject so quickly that it almost made my head spin.

        "Oh um, five this evening." I quickly answered looking back down at the datapad.

        "Tch, 5?"  He looked at the time, a bit bothered that the meeting was later than he thought. "That’s right, why am I only just now remembering this…?"

        He mumbled, clearly annoyed with his forgetfulness. Then, turning back to me, he looked contemplative for a moment and then got to his feet. "You’re joining me for the meeting."

        "To take notes I assume?" I was a bit nervous joining a meeting room full of senators.

        "Of course, that’s one of the main purposes of your being here, I’ll need you to take notes." He said with a nod, walking over to stand next to my chair, and leaning on my desk. It seemed he noticed my nervous expression and smiled. "But you don’t need to look so frightened, you won’t be the one in the hot seat."

        Well, that eased my worry for the most part. "Shouldn't be anything I can't handle."

        "Exactly."

        He chuckled, folding his arms as he leaned over the desk. We both were so close now, and he seemed almost amused by how nervous I looked. "And even if something were to go wrong, I’ll be there. Don’t worry, I don’t throw my assistants to the wolves."

        "W-well I appreciate that."

        He quickly continued with his line of thought, still leaning up against my desk. "And if I may ask, why do you look so nervous? As far as I’m concerned, you’re not the one being scrutinized by the other senators, you’re here for my benefit. Is it the other senators that worry you?"

        "A bit, I just don't know what to expect. I'm just a bit nervous and I'm new to the job. The longer I work with you the calmer I'll be." 

        "You’re very inexperienced, yes, I’ve noticed. That’s another one of your good qualities, you’re not afraid to admit that." He smiled, tilting his head, still leaning next to me. "The others won’t scrutinize or judge you, I promise. They may question me, and be somewhat skeptical of you, but I’ll handle them, you needn’t worry."

[Timeskip To Meeting]

        Now I was walking beside Shockwave, the halls of the senate building bustling with activity around the two of us as we made our way to the meeting. It was evident Shockwave held an established presence in the halls, his gaze commanded respect and demanded attention.

        Eventually, we arrived at the meeting in question, a large room with a long table taking up most of the space. A few other senators were already present, chatting amongst themselves at their seats. A few of them looked over to Shockwave as we both entered. I stayed behind Shockwave and silently followed him to his designated spot. 

        He took his seat, right at the center of the table, with me beside him. The others were still chatting, a casual atmosphere until Shockwave clears his throat, and they fall silent. He waits until everyone is in place before speaking. "Alright, let’s get down to business."

        His booming voice was completely different from his usual tone. It silenced the room entirely as everyone else looked our way making me take a deep breath.

        He smiles as everyone quiets down, some of them glancing in my direction before turning their attention back to him entirely. He takes a moment to glance around the table, observing everyone’s expressions, and their demeanors, before speaking again. "If I may have your attention, I have a new assistant that I wish to introduce." He motions to me, and I immediately feel multiple pairs of optics and attention on me.

        My eyes widened a bit anxiously as I turned to him hoping he would do the introducing part. I'm worried my voice wouldn't hold nearly as much volume as his. 

        He chuckles softly, seemingly amused by my hesitation. He glances at me then back at the other senators, before addressing them all again. "This is (Y/N), she’ll be my assistant from now on, and a valuable asset to me."

        I note the smile he gives me while he says this, and the senators begin murmuring and whispering amongst themselves. Shockwave doesn’t object to this, instead smiling wider, clearly waiting to hear what they have to say. You also notice some of them glancing your way occasionally.

        I quickly whispered my thanks. I probably would have made a fool of myself and him if I spoke.

        He glances over at me and nods, before turning his attention back to his fellow senators, his expression slightly more serious. They had now finished their whispering, and Shockwave spoke up again, his voice returning to a somewhat stoic and serious tone. "Now, enough distractions, I believe the topic at hand was funding for the Iacon Academy. Yes?"

        As they went back and forth with their arguments I wrote down every word from the Senators, which I will say is quite difficult with all the useless bickering some decided to partake in.

        It was clear some of the senators were more interested in arguing for the sake of arguing, rather than actually getting things done. Shockwave was getting noticeably more annoyed with each word spoken in the meeting. His fists occasionally clenched, and his jaw tensed, he was growing frustrated with it all. Even still, he was a master at keeping his composure, his expression stoic, never letting anyone see him annoyed. The fact that I had noticed, was a slight testament to my perceptiveness.

        I looked up at him with a nervous smile easily noticing his annoyance and whispered to him. "I didn't realize how annoying your job must be at times."

        He glanced at me when I spoke and sighed internally. He was trying his best to maintain a professional demeanor, but they were pushing it.

        "The arguing, the bickering, is just one of many parts of the job I could go without." He whispered back, keeping eye contact with me, before returning his attention to the meeting.

        "How do you ever get anything done around here?"

        He chuckled a little at that. A rare moment of lighthearted humor in the tense atmosphere of the meeting. "A fair and understandable question to ask in this situation."

        He sighs, as the arguing only raises in volume, before tapping the table, and commanding all attention on him.

        With a stern expression and a commanding tone, he speaks. "That is enough!"

        His tone would have scared me out of my seat if it had been directed at me. All eyes turn to him in unison. Shockwave stares straight ahead with an intense, yet serious expression, waiting for one of them to argue or object. No one speaks up, and he takes this opportunity to speak again. "All this arguing among friends doesn't get us anywhere, does it? We’re all here with the same goal, to aid the best interest of Cybertron. We may have our own beliefs and personal goals, but our purpose here is to keep things running smoothly for the greater good of all."

        I wasn't always completely certain of his goals as a politician but his voice rang out with a truly hopeful and optimistic outlook for Cybertron. I was proud to be working beside him. He glanced in my direction again, for a moment, a silent gesture of reassurance. He wasn’t done speaking yet. But he was pleased to see he had made an impression. His expression and tone soon turned serious again, and he began speaking once more. "We’re all on the same side here. Let’s put this childish squabbling aside for a moment, and start getting work done."

        I looked around the table to see all the senators had a slight look of shame. Shockwave smiles, pleased to see them all quiet and a bit humiliated by his actions, and continues speaking, as he pulls up a holographic map for them all to see. "Alright, let’s get back to business." He says as he moves on to the subject of the Iacon Academy.

        It had seen better days since I last saw it. A heartbreaking sight to see such a wonderful facility going to shambles. He brings up some numbers, charts, and other data related to the academy. All concerning funds, or lack thereof.

        "This academy has stood as a beacon of learning and knowledge for generations of individuals in this city, but funding is running dry. More and more of its resources are dedicated towards its deteriorating state rather than actual education, and it's getting worse by the day."

        It was truly a shame to see. I just hoped they could all agree on a solution.

        A small discussion ensues between the others, some agreeing some arguing, and some simply keeping to themselves. It goes on for a short amount of time until one of them speaks up.

        "I say we cut funds entirely from the Iacon Academy, and dedicate those funds to something more useful." Came from one of the quiet senators on the far end of the table.

        I accidentally gasped at the suggestion louder than I'd like. So I quickly covered my mouth and looked down at my notes hoping I didn't get scolded for my disruption.

        Shockwave raised an eyebrow at this unexpected outburst and glanced over at me. Then, glaring at the one who suggested cutting all funds, he says, pointedly and sternly, "The Iacon Academy needs funding, we cannot just cut funding entirely. It's a core part of our city, and we can't simply just let it fall apart."

        Shockwave took the words right out of my mouth. Shockwave glared at the one that suggested the foolish idea. The others all began to speak up and add their own opinions, some more heated than others. It was clear it'd become a bit of an argument again, one quite different than the bickering during the start of the meeting. It was now a tense discussion of different opinions, with everyone throwing ideas into the mix. Again, Shockwave's fists clench, and his jaw goes tense again. He seems frustrated but keeps himself from reacting, for now.

        He called for the meeting to close for now so everyone could think through their decisions and come back with clear plans rather than arguing with one another.

        And just like that, the meeting was over. Most of the other senators seemed disgruntled and mildly irritated with Shockwave's decision to close the meeting in the middle of a discussion, but they didn't object.  

        He knew they'd come back later with even more to say, and even more to argue about, but it would hopefully be less heated than this meeting, and actually accomplish what it was meant to. After the others began to leave, Shockwave sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, tired from everything that had just taken place.

        "Are you alright Shockwave?" I asked kindly while making sure all my notes were together and organized properly. I know he'd like to read over them later.

        He looked over at me, surprised, and sighed. "Just tired. Frustrated with all their arguing and bickering, it happens every single time. I don't know why they bother to show up if all they do is go back and forth about things."

        "Well, that's how it always seems to be when people with positions of power get in a room together. But you seem different. You don't act like most politicians."

        He raises an eyebrow again, amused by this comment. "Oh really? And how is it you expect politicians to act, exactly?"

        "Well like most of the people arguing during the meeting. Argumentative, rude, judgemental, and completely self-centered."

        He rolls his eyes at this, nodding in agreement. "Unfortunately, that's just what it's like working with most fellow politicians, I could spend hours listing everything I find annoying about the way most of them act."

        "Then why do you do it, why deal with them? There are plenty of other things you could do to help people. And less dangerous. You're always in danger while in your position and no one can get along."

        He crossed his arms, a serious but calm expression on his face. "Because if no one like me does it, then everything will go to waste, and nothing will change for the better. Someone needs to maintain balance and make sure things run smoothly. I am quite aware of the dangers that come with the job, but I am willing to take the risk to make sure Cybertron continues to thrive."

        I could almost sigh. "You're too good for this job. I mutter to myself. An old friend of mine also told me about you before I got this job, you know him pretty well. Orion Pax, the name should sound familiar. I might have liked a bit about why I signed up for this job."

        His eyes widened and he raised an eyebrow again. "Orion? Of course, I've known him for longer than I can remember. What does he have to do with this?"

        "He's the main reason I applied for this job. He's worried about your safety. We all know you've had multiple death threats in your time working here. We'd all hate to see you get hurt."

        He raises an eyebrow at the death threats part. "Of course, he is."

        He sighs. "I appreciate his concern, but I'm not in danger. I know how to handle myself, and I'm perfectly aware of all the risks that come with the job. I knew what I was getting into when I decided to join the Senate, and I won't let a handful of death threats from scared politicians stop me."

        "Well Orion wants to make sure you're safe so..he might have asked me to try and work with you. Everything I said in our interview was true but I'm not just a simple assistant. I worked with Orion before on more important and dangerous operations."

        "You…Worked with Orion on something dangerous?" He tilts his head, looking at you with a curious yet somewhat uneasy expression. "Tell me truthfully, did Orion know you were going to mention this to me?"

        "No he wanted me to stay quiet, but I hated the idea of lying to you. I wanted you to know the truth, but my main reason for being here is to help you and make sure you're safe for Orion's sake."

        He crosses his arms, and his expression turns into a serious yet slightly displeased look. "Orion knows that I don't want to be protected or treated differently because of his concerns. And he should have told me this ahead of time. I understand his concern, but I didn't ask for him to send someone to watch over me."

        I looked down in defeat. "If you want me to leave I'd understand."

        He shakes his head and sighs. He's angry with Orion, and his expression makes that clear. "No, I don't want you to leave. I want you to do exactly what you were hired for. It's Orion who I have some… choice words for."

        "He only means well. He views you as a good friend. But times like these are unsafe for good bots like you. Well us I suppose."

        "I'm aware, he's mentioned that fact countless times before and I always tell him the same thing. There are others more valuable than me, and I can handle myself if there really is danger. And I know he means well. The concern comes from a good place and I appreciate the sentiment, truly. But sending someone to protect me, without ever asking me about it is just… a bit insulting." 

        "That's why I wanted to tell you. And the only reason Orion sent me is because he's heard word of someone planning something against you. We're not sure yet but it seems like you're in danger."

        He raised an eyebrow, listening intently. "Heard of something? From who? Do you know anything concrete about these threats?"

        "From what I know it's possible some of the other senators want to take you out. But that's all I know for sure. I wish I could tell you more."

        He closes his eyes and puts a hand to his chin, in a thinking pose. "They want to take me out? That's certainly an interesting development… and probably not all that surprising, a good portion of the senators don't like me one bit." He sighs and turns back to me, his expression more serious now and his tone matching it. "So you're here to what? Look out for me?"

        "In simple terms, yes."

        He looks me up and down, considering the situation. He's still somewhat unhappy about this arrangement, but he's not exactly opposed to it either. "I don't need anyone's protection, no matter what Orion says. But I respect the honesty you've shown...Alright, I accept your presence. But don't expect me to be any more careful than usual."

        "I accept those terms. I'll still only function as your assistant unless you're in danger. My goal isn't to be an overgrown babysitter. I'm only here when needed."

        He nods, and his expression softens again. "That's all I ask. As long as you still function as my assistant. I'm still not happy with Orion, I'll need to speak with him later."

[soaringwide]

Pick a Card: What is blooming for you this spring?

Spring is always a magical time for me, and I know I'm not alone. This time of the year, I can feel excitement rise in my heart, the desire to make plan, to savor life to the fullest. And every time feels different, like I'm living it for the first time, with only a vague memory of what it was before.

So I wanted to make this pick a card collective reading about what is blooming for you this spring? I will leave the message open to welcome any area of life and type of message, and provide not only an energy check, if you will, but some advice on how to welcome it fully.

How does that work?

Take a moment to recollect yourself, breathe, close your eyes if you need to, focus on the moment. Look at the 4 pictures and select the one that draws you in the most. Not the one you think looks cooler but the one that creates that pinching feeling inside of you. The one that makes you feel it has something to say.

It is possible to feel attracted to more than one pile, just as it is possible to only find parts of the reading relevant. Remember that this reading is meant for many people so it won't be perfectly applicable to your situation.

PILE 1

Cards: 3 of Swords Rx + Page of Swords Rx + Death + The Vow + 9 of Wands Rx The Gem / 7 of Swords + 10 of Swords + Stress + Page of Cups + Courage + 5 of Cups Rx + Ace of Swords / The Protectress + The Shaman

For the energy-check part, The Death arrives like the return of lifeblood in the branches, shaking things up to leave space for the new buds that are to come. This beginning of spring, a massive cleanup of old ties and energies is occurring. Cutting away the old to let the new emerge.

You're in the process of leaving behind a tie that, while not negative per say, was definitely something you had to leave behind in order to move forward and rise to the skies. It seems this tie was something you found value in for a very long time, but you made or are making the choice to move forward.

This comes somewhat like a battle you had to experience within you, as it was not easy to separate from and left you feeling victimized and defeated, like the entire world was against you or out to get you. This whole situation caused intense heartache and a feeling of almost unbearable internal pressure which you may have turned against yourself in fits of self destructive impulses and anxiousness.

On some level you were or are still resisting this change, or rather, what this change is going to lead to. You are trying to control the outcome and refusing to surrender due to a lack of trust or faith. You are trying to burn the steps to reach the end of this uncomfortable time quicker.

The good thing is by going through the motion of this change, you are finding your inner light. From the pressure is born a beautiful gemstone that catches on the tiniest gleam. You are also not only learning to stand up for yourself and your values, but also to embark on a new journey.

There will be a time of transition. At first you will feel guilty of what you're leaving behind which will cause a lot of inner turmoil and tears shed. You will feel like you're getting away with something you shouldn't be. You will feel like you've hit rock bottom in a rather dramatic way, but the good thing is that the only way to go is up!

What's going to follow this is that you'll become at peace with your own feelings, will learn to be sovereign in yourself no matter what's happening outside of you. You know yourself and what you stand for and you won't get put out of balance anymore. You're learning the courage it takes to stand up for your emotional peace and you will know how to defend it ferociously.

Once you'll be done mourning what you've lost, you'll find a lot of clarity and desire to initiate the next step of your life in a very stimulating phase full of new ideas. You'll realize that the key thing in your situation is to trust the process and let it flow.

Now onto some advice on how to navigate that:

You need to be mindful of how you spend your energy, and by that I mean, you need to get enough rest. Yes spring is stimulating and you may find yourself wanting to make a billion plans, but you've got to understand that your body and mind need rest and relaxation too. Protect yourself, say no when you need to, even to yourself. The other more spiritual side of this is that you're somewhat vulnerable at the moment and need to be careful not to be swayed by the opinion of others. Stand strongly in your own skin, your own beliefs and don't give into something that doesn't truly align with yourself.

You inner fire is unique and you need to remember that whatever it is you will become, you will always be you in all your beautiful strangeness. So embrace what it is to be you, don't be ashamed of if or try to hide it, and shine of your fucked up light.

PILE 2

I just wanted to preface this reading with a warning, it's a bit difficult but the advice is very hopeful and sweet so please don't feel too down about it because it will get better!

Cards: The Poet + The Queen of Cups Rx + Healing + Ace of Cups Rx + Let go + Courage Rx + Ambition + 5 of Pentacles + Acceptance + The Unseen + Bottled Up + The Pilgrim + Anger / 10 of Pentacles Rx + Forgive + Death Rx + Overwhelmed + High Priestess Rx + Gloom + Blessings and Curses Rx + The Shaman Rx / The Devil + 4 of Swords Rx + 10 of Swords Rx / Temperance Rx + Manic + 9 of Cups + Love + Joy + Harmony

In the first few moments of spring, I see you slowly leaving a phase where you didn't allow your emotional needs to be met, or allowed yourself to feel something specific. Due to past experiences, you've felt like your deep feelings where not listened to and were dismissed. Your own light was not seen and remained in the dark because it seems that no matter what emotion you shared, it only led to chaos around you. You ended up discarding them like an useless relic, baring yourself from the ability to heal with them, ending up stuck in place because you don't see that from accepting the sorrow you can learn lessons that will lead you to bloom again.

You are scared of leaving something behind, something that doesn't fulfill you emotionally like it used to, something you had great ambition for. Maybe it's a relationship. Maybe it's a passion or a dream. Ultimately, this is leaving you feeling like you're stuck in the winter, unable to feel the new energy of spring, because you're not accepting this new wave of change.

You are about to embark on a new journey, but unable that you are to see the top of the mountain, you remain wandering in the snow doubting it's even worth it because all you can see is a difficult path. This is causing a lot of anger, which ironically is the only emotion you let out, everything else is trapped within.

This spring, I see your going through this struggle but learning very important lessons in the process. Basically, you're on a journey of self acceptance, both of your flaws and qualities you don't express to the world.

There will be a need to let go of familial expectations that were placed upon you and to forgive the hurt it did to you. It seems you will be resisting change until it becomes overwhelming in order to force you to make a choice. Once that point is reached, it will be hard to see the situation from a different perspective, as in, you will be emotionally drowning into feelings of despair, but, really, that's necessary because you've been shutting yourself from that for too long, keeping busy in order not to think about it.

The process of spring is to free yourself from those heavy bonds. Here is the advice in order to navigate that better:

First of all, you need to cool down and restore your balance. Don't try to fix things by being overly active but instead try to find some rest and moments of silence to listen within.

Also, there is plenty of love around you to be felt and to enjoy, perhaps even a new relationship or one that you closed yourself to. The advice is to be positive about the future. Really all those advice cards are super bright so you're getting massively encouraged.

You will be able to share joy around you once those dark yucky feelings have been cleared.

What if you stopped resisting? I think you would find change doesn't have to be so difficult and painful, and that there is beauty and sweetness waiting for you just around the corner. Open yourself, be playful, and try to remember the wonder of a child discovering spring once more.

PILE 3

Cards: The Bridge + The Moon + Let Go + 10 of Wands + Relieved + Ace of Pentacles + Queen of Swords Rx + The Comic / The Devil + Renewal Rx + Anger Rx + Strength + Forgive Rx + Page of Cups + You are Deserving / 2 of Swords + Gratitude + 2 of Wands + Gloom + Energy

The energy check in this change of season indicates for you a time of transition, where you're crossing from one stage to the next.

At the moment, you're letting go of the very introspective vibe of winter, that forces us to retreat within and inside and rest while waiting for the return of the light. Perhaps this winter was the opportunity to reflect over something painful for you and you've finally reached the point where you can disengage from it and move forward. Because it seems like a burden you were carrying is being released, which is bringing you a renewed sense of hope. To be more precise, you were working hard to carry that weight and now that you finally were able to release it, you feel at ease again.

You're lightening up, seeing the humor and joy of life and learning to be in a more lighthearted mood. I see you really enjoying this change of season and having some type of mood shift. After the heaviness of winter, your new found freedom gave you a reason to smile again.

It also seems you're getting finally getting some new opportunities that were previously barred from you which caused a lot of resentment, because you felt like you were owed something you weren't getting and it was getting in the way of your prosperity. I see that you still have some work to do on that front as you may be lacking courage to seize those opportunities because you feel too unsure of yourself and vulnerable. You may want to isolate yourself as a mean of protection, despite wanting those opportunities direly.

This spring, I see you will need to be careful not to fall back in your old limiting habit of letting yourself be trampled on. You might have a tendency to repress your anger, because you have been told it's not a good emotion to express, which is true, but in your case, your anger can free you because it makes you aware of other people stepping over your boundaries. I'm not saying go punch your boss in the face, but use this anger to reflect on why exactly you feel disrespected, and use that as a motivation to change your circumstances and honor your boundaries.

I also see, and it's a continuation of the previous message, that you will build your character by learning that you don't always need to forgive. It's okay to burn the bridge and take care of yourself first. You don't need to accommodate everyone. Keep your gentleness for the people who deserve it. And I'm saying that because in your case, the balance is waaay off.

Something else that's coming this spring is a message to open yourself to new emotions, perhaps regarding to love, be it romantic or platonic. There is a strong message that you feel like you are not deserving of it and you are somewhat shutting yourself to discovering this part of yourself. Spring is the seasons where so many bubbly feelings awaken and you can welcome that in your heart.

The advice on how to navigate this time better is to, first, try not to shut yourself off the blessing that are coming to you. It's easy to expect the worse and blinding yourself in the process. The key to move forward is to find a more positive mindset, not to assume that everything will be doom and gloom but daring hoping for the best! A mindset exercise you could use could be gratitude. There's already so much good things happening around you but you might not see it because you focus a lot on the negative. Allow yourself to dream and plan the future from an optimistic perspective.

The final message is very fitting considering the title of this reading, as it is advising you to redirect your energy to make your own flowers bloom, not other's. Work on cultivating a fertile soil within yourself and you will be in a much better mindset to attract good things. Remember that while it is altruistic to want to help others, you can't do it if you are yourself depleted, you need to help yourself first.

PILE 4

Cards: The Fool + Knight of Wands + Joy Rx + 3 of Cups Rx + Intrusive Thoughts + The Mentor + Wounded Heart + The Animal + Jealousy / The Portal + King of Pentacles + Bottled Up Rx + 4 of Cups + Let Go + The Star Rx + Fear / The servant Queen

Much like all piles, the start of spring and current energy check, is the time of a big renewal for you, indicated by the Fool. It's the start of a new journey with a fresh mindset and an adventurous heart. However, I can sense that it's very much a desire of yours at this point and not something you can fully indulge in at the moment.

You don't quite dare to let yourself go to celebrate this new change you feel being birthed inside of you, because you have these automatic intrusive thoughts born from anxiety that you have a hard time detaching from. But I see you working on it with a mentor figure, perhaps a therapist, a teacher or someone wise close to you. You seem to be especially working on emotional wounds that are still fresh, or felt to be still fresh.

Also, you feel energy rise within you, a desire to pursue your passion, to start planning things, perhaps a trip or a festival, but something is stopping you from doing it. It's like you know you want it and will make you happy, but you can't access it and it kills your joy.

As a result, you sort of feel like a caged animal, caged in your routine and full of desire to break free, which leads to feelings of envy for what other are able to enjoy and not you.

What is blooming for you this spring is that, there is some type of adventure to be found despite everything. There is something you don't expect coming for you, a new adventure to be had.

It seems something is going to unlock prosperity-wise, something that has seemed blocked for a while but is finally giving you the ability to soar. However, you will have to seize it and not let your low thoughts get in the way of even noticing it. You will have to learn to let go of that tendency of yours. There is renewal, healing and blessings coming for you, but you will miss out if you let fear dictate your actions.

The advice on how to navigate the season is to stop believing that you don't deserve nice things. You have a tendency to self-sabotage and it's doing you a massive disservice. It ties into what I was saying earlier about not blocking your own blessings because of your negative thoughts, because there is something great within your reach.

You must nurture your mind because it's through your mind that you experience the world. It's like a big lens and if it's dirty you get a blurry vision of reality. Work on cleaning your lens and you will see that the world will become an open field for adventure as a result.

[thekrakenlolz]

Start up Fic - Ellie Williams x Reader

part 2

Summary: You switch dorms at your boarding school after you and your girlfriend go through a messy break up and you no longer can handle being roommates with her. Only your new one is a different kind of problem

a/n: I wrote the first chapter only to realize I have no idea what comes next. So here's my plan: if y'all like the set up, you can give me suggestions for what you want to happen next. I basically just laid down the base. So you can read it if you want and see if you have any ideas. But just as a warning, I'm not gonna write smut without a plot, I'm not about that life. I have a vague idea of what I can put next but it's very cliche and overdone sooooo yeah, thanx in advance<3

Also, English is my third language so expect bad grammar

°_*-°_*-°_*-°_*-°_*-°_*-°_*-°_*-°_*-°_*-

Your eyes wandered over the walls as you walked along them. The paint was starting to flake off, revealing the concrete underneath. Your school was old. Like old, old. Like Victorian ages old. Something most of your friends scoffed over, but you personally liked. You thought it gave it character. Of course a little bit of a touch up wouldn't hurt, but bathroom doors that are actually still attached to the stall hinges were overrated anyways.

You were following Miss Jenkins, your housemother, hunched over as you were balancing three of your bags on your back. Uncomfortable, yes, but you were trying to minimize the amount of trips you had to make to move all your shit over to your new dorm. Anything to avoid seeing Samira more than absolutely fucking necessary.

"Here we are" Miss Jenkins sighed, stopping in front of one of the gray doors. It took everything in you not to roll your eyes. You were still pissed that you had to put in 4 requests over the duration of 2 months before they finally assigned you a new room, but now she was acting like she was doing you a huge favor. Like taking 15 minutes out of her day was so much to ask for. But you kept it down, thanking her again before opening the door and stepping in.

The lengthy process of actually getting a new room gave you plenty of time to stress over who your new roommate would be. This girl, however, didn't even come to mind. You weren't even sure what her name was, your social circle and her's didn't interact much. E-something? Or was it L?

Mystery girl was sitting at her desk, headphones in, and carefully shading out something in her notebook. You noticed she had tucked her left leg under her, a bad habit you also possessed. She didn't register your presence, her eyes still fixed on the paper. You threw your bags next to your bed, which finally caught her attention. "Oh fuck" she jumped up from the desk and hurried over to your bed, picking up the stuff she dumped on it. "Hello to you too" you mused.

Sweatshirts, textbooks and pencils started flying over onto her bed. "I'm sorry, I thought I had until Sunday to get my shit off your side" She explained, tossing a hairbrush across the small room. You watched it hit the wall and fall down onto her Zelda themed sheets. Cute, you noted. "No worries, take your time, I still have stuff to move over"

So you were back in the hallway, slowly but surely making your way back to your old dorm and with that, to Samira. Now that you were by yourself, you took the time to think about your new roommate. You still didn't know her name but one thing was for certain: she was incredible looking.

Her thick straight auburn hair cut off above the shoulders and her cheeks were densely dotted with freckles. She was very toned, especially in the arms. She was probably in the lacrosse team.

You did notice she was more on the masculine side, so might maybe even be gay. You full stopped, forcing yourself to remember, that's exactly the type of shit that got you in your current situation in the first place. No fucking your roommate, dude, we talked about this.

--------

You took a moment to collect yourself before entering your old room. You drew a breath in, scanning the ugly grey door that separated you and her. 12B the lettering read, touched up with some sharpie. You reached for the knob.

She was sitting at her desk, scrolling on her phone and demonstratively ignoring your presence. You bit down on the inside of your cheek. This wasn't what you expected. Somehow you preferred another stupid fight over this new silence.

You stacked two backpacks on one arm and three bags on the other. The weight made your walk out rather inelegant. You stopped in the doorway. "Goodbye Sami."

You could practically feel her hesitate.

"Bye."

[cappulcino]

Seven Days Til Fall (Part 6)

Part 1 – Part 2 – Part 3 – Part 4 – Part 5 – Part 6 – Part 7

Read on AO3 (you do need to be logged in, though)

Words: 5,349

Pairing: Lucifer Morningstar x Angel!Reader

Summary: You're an angel sent on a divine mission to retrieve a powerful relic that has been stolen from Heaven. The orders are clear: gain an audience with the Devil, make deals with them if necessary, anything to return that object to the Silver City. But Hell is not quite what you expected, and neither is Lucifer.

Trigger warnings: None in this chapter (let me know if you think I should add some)

A/N: Thank you for your patience. This past month has been very busy, and you have all been so kind. Hope the wait will be worth it.

The first thing you felt on that sixth morning was the cold. But it wasn't the kind of cold you had experienced in certain regions of Hell –which was rather more metaphysical for beings like you anyway– nor did it seem to be the kind of cold Arakiel had reported feeling on the top of the highest mountains of Earth.

So you were neither in Hell nor on Earth. But wherever you were did not quite look like Heaven either because the cold coursing through your body, creeping through the stone floor beneath you and numbing your skin, felt harsh, physical, and profoundly evil.

You shifted, feeling a dull ache in your head and neck that made you wince as you tried to open your eyes, only to realise they had been covered. The realisation made you slightly panic. Heaven had kept you blind for too long –no more. And so, unable to reach for the blindfold with your hands as they had been shackled, you squirmed, moving erratically like a beast until the cloth fell and you could finally take in your surroundings.

You had expected the usual blinding Light, full of your Creator's love –if that was still the word for it. But instead, you found out you had been put in a dimly lit cell where God's Light never shone. You were not on Earth and yet, it seemed your only light source was a weak moonbeam coming through a loophole in the wall and a couple of stars. So where were you? Purgatory? A demimonde?

You shifted again, trying to sit in a more comfortable position –if there was any. It hurt. Your wings were crumpled awkwardly beneath you and all your muscles felt heavy as if weighed down by something you couldn't name.

In front of you, there was no door or bars –just an open archway and a faint shimmering indicating an invisible barrier.

"Hello?" you tried, hoping to catch a guardian's attention or perhaps to hear from another prisoner. "Anybody here?"

Your question was answered only by the echo of your own voice resonating unpleasantly in your ears, amplifying the pulsing headache behind your eyes.

Slowly, you pushed yourself to your feet, leaning heavily against the wall for balance. Your legs quivered under you, but you refused to let them give way. You were tired of being forced to your knees, literally and figuratively.

"Hello?" you called out again, louder this time. "Anyone? Can somebody please answer me?"

Despite the pain, you kept on blabbering, hoping to get a reply. But the air in this cell felt thin and distant, and you soon found yourself out of breath.

Thankfully, you heard a door unlocking in the distance then, as well as quiet footsteps. Finally somebody was coming.

An angel you vaguely remembered as Nanahel appeared in the doorway holding a small silver tray with bread and wine on it. She paused just before the invisible forcefield that held you captive for a moment, taking in your battered form.

"Peace be upon you, Nanahel," you offered weakly.

Nanahel seemed to appreciate that you remembered her name –she was low-ranking after all, and you had only met her a few times– but didn't answer your greeting. The lack of reply made you clench your jaw. Nanahel was only a mere Principality, she was supposed to greet you back, and with reverence, too. But her indifference made you suddenly wonder if you were even a Dominion still.

Eventually, Nanahel stepped closer and stopped right in front of you. Balancing the tray in her left hand, she broke a piece of bread with her right hand and held it out, waiting for you to open your mouth. But you were most definitely not going to take food from the same hand that had betrayed you –not that Nanahel was personally responsible, bless her, but she was on their side– and so you turned away.

"Eat," she said, more as a request than an order at first.

"I feel no hunger and do not need the food."

"You do here. Eat."

Her tone was a bit firmer this time, but when her instance was met by yet another refusal, it outright became commanding.

"Listen, you have no choice. You must eat and I shall stay here until you have eaten the bread and drunk the wine."

"Are they trying to poison me?"

"What?"

"You seem so adamant to have me eat this meagre pittance. I'm simply wondering if the Divine Council wants me dead."

Nanahel didn't answer that, and you wondered whether she didn't because she didn't want to indulge you or because she didn't dare tell you that Michael and his peers did, in fact, want to get rid of you. Either way, you gave in.

"Fine. But can I at least have the dignity to eat with my own hands?"

The Principality hesitated.

"Are you going to attack me?"

"Do I look in a position to attack you right now, Nanahel?"

"Do you promise to eat everything if I let you feed yourself?"

"I swear."

Swearing was not the most welcome terminology in the Silver City, of course. But it served your purpose and convinced Nanahel, who put the tray down and approached you with caution.

You slightly pushed yourself off the wall to give her better access to your chains and thanked her weakly when you heard the keys jangling and felt the tension around your wrists easing. And as Nanahel freed you, you realised she had a scent. Angels weren't supposed to smell of anything as they weren't earthly creatures, but Nanahel did –and this cell did– and though you supposed mortals would describe that fragrance as an odour of sanctity, you found yourself hating it.

Without a word, Nanahel then picked up the tray and jerked it in your direction, urging you to eat and drink what was on it once more. You complied in equal silence, looking her right in the eye as you took the bread with your left hand. That made her flinch and gasp slightly.

"Won't you at least eat properly?"

No. You were done following all those ludicrous rules blindly and therefore decided to keep eating with your left hand without ever breaking eye contact with the Principality. Similarly, you took the wine with your left hand and guzzled it carelessly, even letting it dribble on your white robes.

Now even more tense than when she had first arrived, Nanahel didn't waste a second to restrain you again as soon as you were finished. And as she did so, she spoke in a clipped voice.

"I'll return after lauds to relay today's sermon and pray with you. And I'll do so for every following Mass until the trial is over."

Your heart dropped to your stomach and every ounce of defiance left your body, suddenly replaced by a profound dread.

"What did you say?"

"I said I would check on you until the trial is over."

"Whose trial?"

"Yours, silly."

You gasped as you remembered Michael's words from last night when he had said the Divine Council would "discuss your case". Definitely no promotion then.

"But I'm not there!"

"Nor do you need to be. The Council's decision will be based on facts, not sentiment."

"'Facts'? Will the fact that Heaven is inhabited by a horde of hypocrites be taken into account?" You spat, lashing out as tears started to prickle your eyes.

Nanahel recoiled a bit, visibly shocked and somewhat disgusted by your attitude.

"May Our Lord have mercy on your soul," she mumbled rather grudgingly as she turned to leave.

"No, Nanahel, wait–"

"I'll pray for you."

"I don't want you to pray! Nanahel, come back! Nanahel!"

Pushed by the chaos inside your head, you tried to run after her. But the restraints on your wrists pulled you back and, with your legs still weak and your crumpled wings destabilising you, you lost your balance and fell to your knees, right in the pale, silvery glow coming through the tiny window of your cell.

Panting, your chest heaving, you turned to that opening onto that unknown, hostile world. And right up there, in the navy sky, you found a bright dot which you quickly realised was what humans called the morning star.

The Morningstar. The Lightbringer. Lucifer.

You burst into tears then, thinking about the ruler of Hell and the events of the previous day and the day before that, too. 

There were so many more things you wished you had said and done with Lucifer. Lucifer who had opened your eyes to your condition as an angel in the Silver City. Lucifer who had taught you so many things in so very few, well-chosen words, trying to show you a path beyond the rigidity of Heaven's expectations. Lucifer who had praised you, had made you laugh, had touched your wings. Lucifer… who had almost kissed you.

Instead, you had walked away. You had been so focused on the promises of Heaven, the mission the Divine Council had given you –and, let's be honest, a selfish need to save yourself caused by the fear Michael had instilled in you– that you ignored something far more real, more pressing.

The Morningstar has cried for you –or because of you. They had allowed themself to be vulnerable, and you had rejected them. And now, in the cold and solitude of your cell, you realised the ache in your chest wasn't so much from doubt or the heavy burdens of the Silver City –it was something else entirely, something you hadn't yet allowed yourself to name.

Tears kept welling in your eyes and rolling down your face as you realised what you had lost forever. Because it was evident, you would never see Lucifer nor hear their voice, full of wit and wisdom, or feel the warmth of their fingers on your wings ever again.

The Lightbringer would come to Heaven someday, you knew that –provided the Council respected its part of the deal– but you knew you would never have the right to see them, nor could you be certain they would even want to see you by then.

Choking on your sobs, you turned back to the loophole in your cell, to the dim light of the morning star shining faintly through the gloom.

"I'm sorry, Lucifer," you wailed shakily. "I'm so sorry."

"Your Majesty."

Lucifer was sitting on their throne, barely conscious of the chaos of their realm as Mazikeen approached. They had been like this for hours now, and she had offered everything she could think of to get back the ruler she still had not even a week ago: demon battles, torture, an impromptu Dionysian gathering, even sex. All to no avail.

Lucifer's mind was elsewhere, detached, almost adrift. They kept staring blankly at the flames dancing in the pit in the middle of their throne room, their thoughts circling around something –or rather, someone– now far beyond their reach. An angel. Their angel.

"Your Majesty," Mazikeen tried again.

"What?" Lucifer snapped, their fingers tightening around the armrest of the throne, making the polished surface groan under the pressure.

Mazikeen sighed, despair taking over her features. This was not the Lightbringer she knew, the one who commanded with absolute authority, who could turn any situation in their favour. She had seen Lucifer in pain before –there had been a thousand betrayals, a thousand wars– but this was different. This was personal, deep, and she swore to herself that if she ever saw you again, she would slit your throat.

"Please," Mazikeen said, her voice uncharacteristically soft. "You cannot sit here forever."

Lucifer remained silent as if refusing to acknowledge Mazikeen's pleas. They kept their gaze unfocused, lost in the orange fire before them, their chin resting in one hand while the fingers of their other hand tapped furiously on the armrest, proof of their inner turmoil.

Seeing that neither patience nor enticement would work, Mazikeen closed the distance between her and the throne in quick, powerful strides and knelt before Lucifer.

"My Lord!" her voice broke through again, sharper this time. She had never needed to shout before. "You have to pull Yourself together. If the demons sense vulnerability, this realm will fall apart!"

Lucifer sighed heavily.

"It is Hell, Mazikeen. Everything and everyone here is constantly falling apart."

"We both know that is not true. This is not who You are."

Slowly, Lucifer straightened up and tilted their head, finally looking down at Mazikeen. Just as slowly, they reached to cup her cheek –the melted side of her face–, grazing it gently with their fingers, which made the she-demon's eyes shine with hope.

Then Lucifer opened their mouth, trying to come up with something to reassure or even compliment her. Their "good, faithful Mazikeen" as you had described her yesterday. But nothing came out, their nice words had seemingly all been used up on someone else. They closed their mouth and let go of Mazikeen's face before standing up and putting some distance between them again.

After a few long breaths, Lucifer finally spoke.

"Well, what is it you came to tell Us?"

Disappointed, Mazikeen sighed and rose to her feet, gripping her swords like a lifeline.

"The generals demand action. Now that Your deal with Heaven is closed and You received the authorisation to go there."

"Of course, they do. But We have already stated multiple times We would not use Our visitation rights until the time is suitable, have We not?"

"You have. But if I may… There is a risk that if You keep postponing Your visit to the Silver City, endlessly waiting for 'the right time', You will miss out on many opportunities."

Lucifer's back and wings tensed but they didn't turn around.

"Are you implying that We procrastinate confronting Our brother, Mazikeen?"

"No. I am merely suggesting You use this… renewed hate towards angels to formulate a plan, go back to Your Father's realm, and take back what is rightfully Yours."

Lucifer huffed.

"There is no  'renewed hate towards–' Wait." They cut themself off and finally spun to face Mazikeen again, bringing a hand to their heart as if to contain its erratic beating. "What did you say?"

Mazikeen frowned.

"Uh… To formulate a plan, go back to–"

"No, after that."

"And take back what is rightfully Yours."

Lucifer's wings suddenly unfurled, assuming a dominating stance, and their eyes darkened. It seemed something had clicked in their mind, and they were burning with ambition again.

"Ours."

"Let the defendant in."

After an eternity in your cell, Nanahel had eventually come accompanied by two Thrones, both clad in shining armour with their faces obscured by helmets. They had covered your eyes –surely so you wouldn't know the way from your cell back to the main areas of Heaven– and were now ushering you inside the Council chamber as its large doors opened without a sound. Only then did they let you see your surroundings.

The Divine Council sat in a semicircle, their thrones imposing and gleaming with an unnatural light. At the centre, on the highest throne, sat the Metatron, the Voice of God, his eyes cold and unreadable. His mere presence was enough to make you shiver and look away.

At the Metatron's side, you noticed Michael sitting with his sword resting against his knee, Gabriel with his usual smug smile, and the rest of the Archangels gazing right into your soul, their eyes hard as stone.

So you then looked at the assembly, millions of angels gathered to attend your trial –or rather, public humiliation. Most of them looked at you with an unforgiving expression or even hate. But as you scanned the crowd, you found some confused frowns, like Muriel's, and very few compassionate eyes, like Camael's and Arakiel's.

Suddenly, a herald angel stood to your right, unrolled a scroll and spoke in a flat, formal tone.

"Angel of the Fourth Choir, Dominion of the Silver City, you stand before the Divine Council today, accused of gross insubordination, consorting with the Fallen, and expressing thoughts contrary to the will and nature of the Almighty. You are charged with treason against the Divine Order."

With your heart pounding in your chest, you opened your mouth to plead innocent, but Gabriel raised a hand to stop you.

"Don't bother answering that."

"Indeed," Uriel added. "The evidence speaks for itself."

"Evidence?" you croaked, your voice barely above a whisper. "What evidence?" This was all going way too fast, and you felt dizzy.

Michael nodded in the herald's direction and the latter spoke again.

"The words you have spoken in private, the thoughts you believed hidden from the Almighty, have been heard and recorded. The walls of Heaven are not deaf, Dominion."

"I– No! I have never spoken against–" You were suddenly cut off by your own voice resonating through the room.

Forgive me Father for I have sinned.

Then Camael's.

There is this look on your face… I think it's doubt.

Your voice again.

How is that a good thing?

His Great, blasted Plan.

Your conversation with Gabriel from two nights past.

You were there. You sang, too. –No!

And finally, your desperate outburst in your cell this morning.

Will the fact that Heaven is inhabited by a horde of hypocrites be taken into account?

I'm sorry, Lucifer.

Your stomach twisted as Michael spoke. "The Council has reviewed everything you have said in recent days, and it is clear that your heart has strayed far from the Light. The celestial spheres have borne witness to your disobedience, your doubt, your… affections for the Morningstar."

You turned back to the crowd and noticed myriads of angels looking shocked or repulsed by your words, exchanging whispers of indignation.

"Do you deny these thoughts, Dominion? Do you deny consorting with Lucifer? Do you deny that your actions have endangered the stability of Heaven itself?"

"I…"

Your voice faltered. You thought the Archangel's words to be exaggerated, but you didn't know how to defend yourself, nor if there was any point in trying.

"I sought understanding, Your Grace," you eventually managed to say, your voice trembling. "Is that a crime? To seek the truth?"

"It is a crime to seek what lies outside of God's Light," Raphael spoke.

"Therefore the Divine Council has judged your case," Azrael added. "And our sentence is irrevocable."

At that point, the Metatron stood up and revealed the decision long made in your absence.

"For your insubordination and questioning of Our Lord's ways, this Court has decided… that should you accept to ask for forgiveness, you may be saved from disgrace. Atone for your sins, submit to Heaven's judgement, and you will stay in the Silver City, only demoted from your rank."

You felt the blood drain from your face and the dizziness made you sway a little. A demotion. A lifetime of servitude, chained by the very system that had already shackled your wrists and bound your mind. Such was the definition of God's mercy.

"Well?" The Metatron was waiting for your answer which, to any respectable angel, should be more than evident.

The very thought of what you were about to say made your whole body quiver, but you mustered every last ounce of courage you could find in your heart and finally replied.

"No."

Loud gasps resonated through the chamber and the Archangels of the Divine Council exclaimed some "Have you lost your mind?" and "Wait. What?" You glanced behind you once more and found Camael's purple eyes in the distance. They were frantically shaking their head as if urging you to reconsider.

The Metatron furrowed his white eyebrows. He then raised a hand to silence the clamour, and asked, "Come again?"

"I said no, Your Highness."

The Divine Council had made its decision, you had made yours. If refusing the Council's offer meant to spend the rest of your miserable, lonely existence in that cell, then in that cell you would stay. But you wouldn't obey, much less serve, any of those people any more.

Yet, the Metatron decided to insist for the third time.

"Are you quite certain, little angel? You know forgiveness is always given to those who ask for it."

Yes, that was what you used to believe –what they had made you believe. But that was then and you had changed much this past week. You thought about the dead mortals in the Woods of Suicides, about Lucifer and the angels in this room who once sang as they fell, and you knew you were doing the right thing for yourself.

"Just say you're sorry!" Gabriel almost shouted.

You looked at him, then at Michael, and back at the Metatron.

"Never."

Your answer created yet another uproar behind you. You heard some voices calling you a traitor, devil worshipper, while others simply booed.

The Archangels exchanged nods, and then Michael spoke.

"Hence, you give us no choice. There is no place for you here, nor anywhere else in this Holy Kingdom. Usually, we would decide to cast criminals like you down to Hell. But given your… ties with my sibling, I am afraid this becomes no suitable punishment."

He was right. You would rejoice and maybe even sing about your own Fall.

"Therefore, here is your final sentence," the Metatron announced, always in charge of giving the verdict. "You have played with fire, flirted with it. And, inevitably, you shall get burnt. Angel of the Fourth Choir, Dominion of the Silver City, this Court sentences you… to death by Hellfire."

Hellfire. A punishment reserved only for the most unforgivable, those whose souls were considered too dangerous, too corrupted to exist even in Hell.

You had not expected that and, for a moment, you couldn't move or breathe. A cold sweat ran across your brow, and your wings, still battered and weak, twitched instinctively.

"To death!" the assembly intoned.

And then the same Thrones that had retrieved you from your cell seized you by the elbows and dragged you out of the room and towards a vast courtyard at the centre of the Silver City.

By the time you got there, the courtyard, which had once held parties, important Holy Masses, and so many more joyful events, had been transformed into a stage for your public execution.

Angels of all kinds were now gathering around a massive column of Hellfire that had been summoned from the depths of the Abyss. It crackled with an unnatural intensity, even darker and more sinister than anything you had seen in Hell. Or perhaps was it the sharp contrast with Heaven's natural pristine glow that made it so terrifying.

Your legs nearly gave way beneath you as you saw it, and for a moment, despite how confident you felt in your rebellion, the hopelessness threatened to overwhelm you. No being, mortal or divine, had ever survived the flames of Hellfire, save for Lucifer and a few selected demons. This was the end.

The two Thrones threw you to your knees before the fire, and you could feel the heat emanating from it, licking at your skin, searing your feathers even from a distance. The sensation was suffocating, and, in your head, you found yourself repeating the same name over and over again.

Lucifer. Lucifer. Lucifer. Lucifer. Lucifer. Lucifer. Lucifer.

You repeated the Morningstar's name so many times that you were certain it had actually begun to leave your mouth, and it even started losing its meaning. Yet, to you, it now meant everything.

Above you, the Metatron's voice rang out, proclaiming your sins for all to hear.

"This angel, who once belonged to the Holy Orders, has chosen the path of defiance and turned away from the Light. For this former Dominion's transgressions and loyalty to the Fallen, let Justice be done."

You felt hands bind your wings, painfully stretching them back so you wouldn't have the reflex to fly away, but your gaze remained fixed on the inferno facing you. Then the Thrones violently forced you back on your feet.

Lucifer. Lucifer. Lucifer.

"March."

Of course, you had no wish to die. For immortal beings like you, there was no afterlife, only oblivion. Once your body entered these flames, your very essence would combust, and you would be no more –in fact, the whole of Heaven would act as if you had never existed.

Yet, you took a step forward. And another. And another. Your vision narrowed, and the cries and chants around you became muffled, your ears solely vibrating with the thumping of your heart.

Lucifer.

The fire flared, almost beckoning. You kept walking, closed your eyes, and finally let yourself be swallowed by the flames.

You waited for Death's embrace and indeed felt strong arms closing around your waist. But then the intense heat vanished as a new kind of warmth engulfed you, familiar, soothing, safe.

You opened your eyes and first noticed the black, leathery cocoon enveloping you. And then, ever so slowly, your heart soaring with hope, you tilted your head back.

"Lucifer…"

"Hello, little dove," Lucifer whispered with a soft smile as Hellfire's glow made a single tear twinkle on their cheek.

"How did You…" Your voice trailed because you couldn't comprehend everything that had just happened.

"Hellfire obeys Us alone, and We have long since commanded it not to harm you."

The flames recoiled further, shrinking away from Lucifer as if in reverence to their true master, bowing to Lucifer’s will, and retreating into the Abyss from which they came.

As they did so, Lucifer gently let go of you, making sure you could stand on your feet before they turned to the million pairs of angelic eyes glued to them.

"Get them out of here!" someone shouted in the audience.

"You are not welcome here!" another angel added.

"Peace be upon You, my dear sibling," Michael said as calmly as he could, though he was boiling inside, approaching with his sword clutched in hand.

"Hmm. If only, Michael," Lucifer retorted. "We note you forgot to mention our deal to the rest of your kind."

Michael said nothing, his jaw clenching visibly while Lucifer surveyed the assembly at an unhurried pace, the faintest smirk on their lips. They then stopped, retrieved the contract they had brought with them, and quoted it.

"'In consideration of the retrieval of the Cup of Eternal Grace,' et cetera, et cetera, 'the Divine Council does hereby agree to grant Lucifer Morningstar one Visitation to Heaven.' We believe this makes Us most welcome here. At least for the next… fifty-seven minutes. Does it not, brother?"

Michael's fist tightened around the hilt of his sword while the Metatron stepped forward, attempting to maintain his authority before the angels present here began to protest.

"Still, You have no jurisdiction here, Lucifer. This is Heaven's justice."

Lucifer turned to him and looked him up and down with unabashed disdain.

"Precisely," they admitted. "Hellfire belongs to Us and it will not burn a single feather of that angel's wings. So how do you wish to proceed?"

"How do You mean?"

"Well, you want to kill the Dominion, but We are telling you Hellfire will not take part in this so-called heavenly justice. Therefore, how do you wish to carry out the sentence?"

Silence had fallen over the Silver City and you observed this surreal interaction with a strange mixture of relief and confusion.

And then it hit you, and you understood what Lucifer was doing. They had found a loophole. The decision to sentence you to death by Hellfire was not only an act of humiliation but also a way for the leaders of the Silver City to get rid of you without getting their hands dirty. Because no matter how much Heaven seemed to bend the rules, God's Law still prevailed, and "Thou shall not kill". So by making you walk into Hellfire yourself, Heaven's conscience remained clean while you died, basically committing one last sin: suicide. But take Hellfire away, and the perfect murder could be no more.

"That sword of yours," Lucifer then mused, taking Michael's wrist to lift the weapon before running their index down the blade, "could be…" They brought their finger to their lips and licked off the blood they had drawn. "Adequate. But everybody here knows you will not use it."

"I have a sudden feeling I might," Michael growled.

"Enough!" The Metatron interjected, putting an end to these childish threats. Then he turned to Lucifer. "I shall have a word with You. Now."

It had been almost an hour since the whole commotion in the courtyard after your miraculous escape from death, and you were back in your cell, wondering if the Morningstar would manage to find a way out for you before their visitation rights expired.

Finally, you felt them approach, so you lifted your head and noticed they still sported the same soft smile as earlier. They were somewhat happy, you realised. Happy to see you. Behind them, the Metatron stood in the shadow, his eyes skewering you.

"How did You know?" you asked softly as Lucifer stopped a mere foot away from you. You had spent most of the past hour trying to figure out how they had managed to appear just in time to save you.

"We did not –not for certain. But We had a presentiment something would happen to you. We saw the fear in your eyes yesterday and the last flicker of hope born out of Our brother's empty promises. We have been there, We recognised the signs."

"But I thought… This is the last time You will ever be allowed in the Silver City. I thought You would come when the time was right, when You had a true reason, something important."

"Yes. And We did."

Your heart skipped a beat when Lucifer said that, and even more so when you noticed their eyes flickering to your lips before they promptly blinked and looked away.

"So… What are they going to do with me?" you asked after a short, uncomfortable silence. "Are they going to… send me to an isolated planet on the other side of the cosmos?"

That made Lucifer chuckle briefly, but their smile quickly faded.

"No."

Another silence.

"Am I going to fall?"

Lucifer nodded, and you felt a disagreeable contrast between your heart warming up and your blood turning cold.

"Will it be painful?"

"Extremely." Lucifer saw no point in trying to make you hope otherwise. "And lonely."

"But You will be there, on the other side."

"Always."

"Lightbringer, it is time to leave. The hour is coming to an end," the Metatron finally spoke from outside the cell.

"Yes," Lucifer replied. "No need to chase Us away this time. We will see Ourself out." Then they brought their fingers up to graze your cheek. "You have a few hours to prepare; it will happen when God puts an end to this day. We will be waiting."

Lucifer's touch lingered for a moment as if they were wishing you good luck, and then they left.

Once Lucifer had gone, you were left alone in the dim light of your cell, trying to make sense of everything that had happened today. A trial, a sentence, the blistering heat of Hellfire, and now, the promise of an eternity in Hell. It felt surreal, as though you were being swept along by forces beyond your control, moving too fast for your mind to fully comprehend.

A week ago, Lucifer and their subjects were your sworn enemies, you knew nothing about Hell, largely misunderstood it, and, above all, hated it. And tonight, despite the growing anxiety, you found yourself longing for it all.

With your lips parting in a small smile, you sat down on the cold stone floor and turned to the narrow window to your left. The air was chilly and smelled like rain, and you suddenly remembered what day tomorrow was.

Tomorrow was autumn. Fall. Your Fall.

And there was evening, and there was morning –the sixth day.

[samfkiszka]

Paper Bag: Chapter One

Vampire!Jake Kiszka x F!Reader

Hunger Hurts, and I want him so bad, oh, it kills…

★・・・・・・★

Forced to move back to your father's hometown the summer before your first year at college, you had resided yourself to the fact that the next few months were going to suck.

But that was before you were reacquainted with Danny next door. And before you got a brand new job at a dusty old bookstore run by an eccentric old woman. And before Jake walked into said bookstore, poised to turn your entire world upside down.

Word count: 7,169

Warnings (for this chapter): Light cursing, very vague mentions of a grandparent's passing, maybe some slight spelling errors… (that's literally it)

Chapter 2

Master list

taglist form if you’re interested <3

★・・・・・・★

The incessant whining of a nagging mosquito awakens you from your daydream of sunnier places and brings you back to reality; the reality that you were moving thousands of miles away from your quaint beach town to the vast green that sped past you now. Your father was busy droning on and on about how good this change was going to be. You had to stick your head out the window to stop from losing it inside the interior of his brand new car, a gift from his equally brand new job that had moved him back to his hometown. Sure, you knew deep down you were only going to be there for a summer, and then thankfully it was off to college. Three grueling months of living in this damp swamp that was being passed off as a town. Smacking the side of your neck, you pull your hand back to glance at the gruesome sight. The mosquito twitches involuntarily in your palm, surely a reaction to its untimely and swift death. You could already feel the tingling itch rising up, and by the splatter of blood drying in your hand you knew it was too late. With a sigh, you roll your windows up and turn back your dad who was grinning entirely too much for your liking. 

“Can you at least pretend to be happy about this? I know you’re only going to be here for a few months, but I would appreciate it if you tried.” 

“I just don’t see why you couldn’t have waited until after I moved out,” you grumbled. This had been a source of tension between the two of you for quite a while now. It wasn’t like you were going to make any friends. Without the help of school you were going to be utterly alone for the next summer. You already missed your friends deeply, longing to see them as soon as possible. But unless they could somehow save up enough for the cross country flight, it seemed to you that you were doomed to a summer of absolutely nothing.  

“I know it’s tough. But try to be a little understanding. You used to come here all the time with me to visit Grandma and Grandpa, remember?” He looks away from the road for a second, his face painted with hope. His smile falls when he sees the angry look you’ve been sporting for the entirety of the ride from the airport. “Come on, please, just… cut me some slack. This is going to be great for both of us.” 

You hum in response, not knowing what else to say. He sighs, gripping the steering wheel and clearing his throat as the car pulls into a gravel driveway leading to a house that is simply too big for the two of you. It was the kind of house meant for a much larger family, and in its youth that was exactly what resided between its brick walls. Your father, along with his many siblings, spent their youth terrorizing your poor grandparents until they grew up, leaving them alone. Your grandfather’s bird feeder still inhabits the front porch that you had spent many a summer afternoon occupying. You were certain that the room you had always slept in when you visited, the room that was now expressly yours, would be the exact same as it was in your childhood. Just as this house had seemed untouched by time, as did every neighboring one. 

Your father, obviously attempting to get back on your good side has hauled what little bags you had packed up the porch steps, setting them down to unlock the door. Thanks to his arrival merely a week before yours, mostly everything had been unpacked. You were silently grateful that you would not have to spend days unpacking painful memories. Not that you were in the mood to thank your father for anything in particular right now. All that was left to do was sulk in your new, yet familiar, bedroom. But before you had the chance to angrily stomp up the stairs, the old doorbell that you didn’t even know existed rang out through the house. You peer past the entry way as your dad heaves the heavy oak door open, revealing a slightly familiar face. 

“Hello, Daniel.” Your father welcomes the boy in, seeming exasperated at his appearance. If this Daniel had noticed it, he simply ignored it, grinning ear to ear and surveying the room. 

“Danny,” he corrected swiftly before continuing, “I was just wondering if-” 

As if your father could read minds he waves in your general direction, answering Danny. 

“She’s here. Not in the best of moods, but-” 

“I can hear you.” You interject, striding into the room and taking Danny’s appearance in. He was wearing a shirt that seemed too small for him, and his remedy for this was clearly chopping the sleeves off. He was too tan for the apparent lack of sun in this town, and he took every opportunity to flash his perfect teeth at you. 

“Hey! It’s nice to finally see you again!” He reaches his hand out and you take it hesitantly. His skin is far too warm considering it was barely sixty degrees outside. 

“Again?” 

“You remember the Wagners, don’t you honey?” Your dad casually drops the name as if it would enlighten you any further. It’s not like you had ever spent longer than a week here. Of course you didn’t remember the Wagners. 

“I’m Danny, I live across the street from your grandparents- well, from you guys,” He offered, dropping your hand and casually stuffing his back into the pockets of his shorts, “You used to hang out with my sister when you were younger.” 

You rack your brain, trying to pull up any memory that would help. You get vague flashes of a boy your age, somehow recalling a sister slightly younger than the two of you that you always preferred to play with. 

“Oh!” You gasp, feigning surprise and hoping it satiates both him and your father, “Yes Danny and Josie. Of course I remember you two.” 

“Daniel has been stopping by all week asking when you’d be here,” Your dad mumbles to you, and if this information embarrassed Danny he surely doesn’t let it show.  As if tired of this boy’s presence, your father drifts out of the room leaving just the two of you to talk. 

“Sorry about all that,” you mumble apologetically, “I’ve been in a shitty mood all day, I think I set him off.” 

“No, It’s definitely my fault. I really have been bugging him all week,” Danny laughs so effortlessly that it almost puts you at ease. Maybe you weren't as friendless as you thought you’d be. “Josie went to summer camp this summer and I’ve been insanely bored,” he explains. 

“You didn’t go with her?” 

“Nah, too old. Kinda thought I’d stay here and cause a bunch of trouble,” he laughs easily again, “Plus, I’ve got a summer job down at the golf course. Certified cart boy,” he finished with a sense of unearned pride and you bite back a laugh that was sure to come off as harsh. 

And in all honesty, a summer job didn’t seem like an awful idea. Sure, you knew it was a bad idea to set down roots considering you were leaving soon enough; but, could it really hurt to make a few friends?  To have a reason to get out of the house every day? And it’s not like a little extra cash wouldn’t help. 

“Are they still hiring?” You ask, your voice laced with hope. 

“No,” he frowns, looking sincerely sorry that he won’t be able to offer you a job. “But I heard the bookstore down on Sun Avenue is looking for a cashier, ” He added with another pearly white grin. 

Sun Avenue. How ironic, you think to yourself, mulling over the idea. A bookstore doesn’t sound half bad anyway, in fact it seemed a near perfect fit for you. 

“That would actually be great! Is there a number I could call, or-” 

“No, don’t worry. I know the owner!” He beamed. Of course he knew the owner. Danny seemed like he knew the entire town. “If you want to meet me there tomorrow, I can introduce you to Mrs. Palmer. I’m sure she’ll love you. She’s pretty desperate too, most people leave during the summer. I bet she’d hire you on the spot.” 

“Yeah, trust me, I’d rather spend my summer anywhere but here too.” 

“It’s not all that bad,” he mumbled, a look of hurt crossing over his otherwise overly joyous face, “You can always hang out with me.” 

You felt bad for a moment. For a boy you barely knew you were eager to make him smile and laugh again. It was nice to have someone in your corner despite your unwillingness to be here. 

“That’s true. I’d love to hang out with you. And, yeah I can meet you at the bookstore tomorrow. I really appreciate it,” you reply earnestly, unable to stop the smile that spread across our face mirroring his own. His positive energy was honestly infectious.

“Great! I can meet you there tomorrow around noon!” He beams, bouncing with excitement and making his way to the door. Your dad reemerged from wherever he had been hiding as soon as Danny left. 

“That kid has got to be on something,” he shakes his head, eyeing the door like Danny could bust in at any moment. “Or maybe I’m not used to someone smiling that much.” He nudged your side, attempting to get back in your good graces.  

“Hah hah hah,” you mumble sarcastically, rolling your eyes and beginning your trek upstairs to your room. The door creaks open and you are pleasantly surprised to see your dad had decorated it in an almost identical fashion to your old room. Staring at the posters that adorned the walls, you started to feel like maybe you had never left home at all. The bed was even slightly bigger than your old one, a concession you were pleased to make. Flopping down with a huff, you glare at the ceiling, noticing the glow in the dark stars you had foolishly placed up there one year were still stuck to the ceiling. 

Exhaustion from your early flight washed over you. You were never really a morning person. Fighting the urge to fall asleep you gently lift up, staring out the window at the setting sun. The clouds covered up what could be a beautiful scene, the usual pink and orange hue you were used to back home suddenly replaced by gray and green. You pull the purple curtains closed, grimacing at the ugly hue you had picked out when you were younger. Maybe you’d be able to convince your dad to replace them with newer ones. You were, afterall, displaced and depressed. 

The floorboards were awfully loud as you went from room to room, making a mental map of each one. Your father had left his parents’ room untouched, evident in the fact that your grandmother’s glasses still sat on her nightstand. You smile softly, not lingering too long before you make it to the bathroom to ready yourself for bed. Everything in this house seemed to make unnecessary noises, the knobs on the sink squeaking as you turned them around to allow the water to flow out. After a confusing few moments of trying to find where your father had put everything, you were ready and back in your room. Your bed was a lot more comforting than you recalled, lulling you to sleep quickly. Not even the nervousness of meeting up with Danny could keep you up. Soon enough you were gone, dreaming of home. 

But the good dreams didn’t last as long as you had hoped. What started off as a pleasant image of your old backyard full of friends and sunshine was soon replaced with something much darker. You can’t quite make out the scene, but soon you were thrashing against the covers and slamming a hand to your neck. When you pull it back a speckle of blood is adorning your fingers. You realize with a groan that you had scratched the mosquito bite so hard in your sleep that it had begun to bleed. You had dark blood under your nails and you wince at the faint burning feeling that now plagued your skin. Shaking your head as if it would expel the dream, you lean up to peer at the alarm clock settled on the bedside table. 

Despite your rowdy dreams you had managed to sleep in well past when you had planned to wake up. Massaging your temples you remember your promise the day before to meet Danny at the bookstore. 

Ambling sleepily across the expanse of your new room you tore your curtains open to reveal another gloomy day. Somehow you managed to get ready with clothes scattered around several open suitcases and your vague remembrance of where your dad had put everything from the night before. Traipsing down the stairs, you peer into your dad’s office, mumbling a good morning that he barely acknowledges as he continues to work on something clearly more important. The kitchen is all but barren and you wonder how he had been surviving the week before you got here. You make a mental note to stop at the grocery store after the bookshop, and you leave a note on the fridge for your dad telling him where you were going.

The walk into town is uneventful, but you are shocked that you somehow remember how to get there. It’s like your feet carry themselves, subconsciously remembering this area from when you were younger. Your odd dreams from last night are distant in your mind, and you ignore the nagging thoughts that urge you to go back to it. Soon enough you’re standing outside Palmer’s Books and More!, greeting an always cheerful Danny. He had traded his sleeveless tee for a somewhat more appropriate outfit, one that you soon realized was his work uniform, yet he still sported his pearly white grin. 

“You okay? You look a little tired,” he teases, poking your side and earning a glare from you. 

“Gee, thanks,” you grumble, smoothing out your shirt and suddenly feeling very nervous, “I didn’t sleep great last night. Do I really look that bad?” 

“No! You look great!” He flushed, but came back quickly. “Mrs. Palmer is gonna love you, I swear.” 

You frown, anxiety coursing through your body. He pushes through the door and the two of you are immediately greeted by an older lady, who you assumed to be Mrs. Palmer. She was smaller than the both of you, her stature swallowed by the oversized white sweater she was wearing. Everything else about her seemed too big in comparison to her height. Her glasses covered half her face, magnifying her piercing eyes. She grinned at Danny, eyeing you suspiciously. 

“Hello, Daniel! You brought a visitor?” Everyone in this town was entirely too cheerful for you, you decided. 

“Yes ma’am. This is my friend I was telling you about! The one that just moved here.” 

You don’t have much time to wonder when he had had the time to talk to her about you specifically. You introduce yourself, leaning down to shake her hand. You are thoroughly surprised when she pulls you in for a hug instead, knocking the wind out of you. Danny stifled a giggle and you mentally prepared to kick him as soon as you were out of view from anyone who could chastise you for it. 

“Oh, you have no idea how happy I am to meet you,” she began rambling, “I knew your father when he was just a baby. I went to school with both of your grandparents. Well, it was just a tragedy when they- But, of course… Yes, that is simply the passage of time. I missed your family dearly, I am so pleased that you’re back.” 

Not knowing what to say in response to all that, you simply smile as she pulls back and wipes a lone tear from her eye. 

Was everyone in this town crazy? You wonder, as she leads you and Danny around the store. Despite obviously being here a thousand times before, Danny listened in awe as she explained the history of the store and where everything was located. She never once offered you the job, seemingly operating under the conclusion that you were without a doubt the newest- and only other- employee of her shop. Not that you minded in the slightest; the idea of a formal interview was much more frightening than whatever this was. 

“So… Can you start today?” She asks, wringing her hands together. She had a curious habit of pausing as she spoke, starting sentences and never quite finishing them. 

“Today?” you try to hide the shock in your voice. It’s not like you had planned much today besides restocking the empty kitchen, but you wouldn’t mind the mind numbing tasks. The job didn’t seem very hard, and not a single customer had walked in since you and Danny had begun your little tour. 

She stared up at you hopefully, and you felt your stomach twist. How could you say no? 

“Uh- Yes! Yes, of course, I can start right now!” You try to sound as excited as possible, eyeing Danny nervously as he continues to sport his all too familiar smile. Surely this wasn’t how real jobs operated.

“Amazing!” He clapped his hands together loud enough that you almost jumped, “I’ll come visit you after I get off and we can walk home together.” He bounces out of the store, waving at the both of you. 

Mrs. Palmer vanished for a moment, coming back with a name tag that she had hurriedly scrawled your name on. She explained how the cash register worked,  and although it was very intuitive, you were grateful for the extra explanations. The longer you focused on menial tasks the less time you had to dwell on everything; your new home, your new friend, your strange dreams. Of course as soon as she realized you understood, she vanished once again. 

Your shift passed by slowly, only a handful of people stopping by to purchase new arrivals you had never heard of. A few of them recognized you, reaching across the counter to hug you or shake your hand. You were almost ashamed to admit that you did not know who any of them were. Your theory that everyone who lived here was entirely too gleeful was proven even more correct with each passing hour. Despite the gloomy weather, everyone brought in the same cheery disposition, and as the sun began to set you wondered how you could ever fit in without radiating the same sunshine they all did. The store was mere moments from closing when the door rang once more, causing you to look up from the paperwork Mrs. Palmer had asked you to fill out as part of your unofficial application. 

This customer seemed different from the rest of the earlier visitors. For one, the grin that graced his face was nowhere near as ear splitting as everyone else’s. It was better described as a smug smirk. Secondly, the almost blinding paleness of his skin felt more fitting for this weather than the tan everyone else was sporting. He almost floated around the shelves, and you tried not to stare as his long fingers danced over the books. He chuckled at seemingly nothing, and you shook yourself out of your stupor. You hadn’t meant to look for so long; well, you hadn’t planned on getting caught. Surely, no one could blame you for being unable to pry your eyes off of him. You have never seen someone more beautiful. His long brown hair fell in slight waves past his shoulders, framing his nearly bare chest. He was wearing a black button up, opting to leave only the bottom two buttons fastened. His neck was adorned with several silver necklaces, and despite the setting sun he had a pair of circular black sunglasses covering his eyes; which you were sure were just as gorgeous as the rest of him. His face was nearly indescribable and yet you couldn’t stop yourself from attempting to take in every detail. In fact, every prior thought had left your brain; you were absolutely consumed by this man. You take him in again, trying to drink in every small feature that made him up. You slowly realized he couldn’t be much older than you. Once the haze wore off you were able to digest his almost boyish face. You were just wondering if Danny knew him when you heard him let out a sharp laugh at absolutely nothing. 

The sound jolted you from your thoughts and you suddenly felt the need to pay attention to anything but him. You fix your eyes on the old cash register, pretending to be extremely occupied with the amount of money in it when he suddenly clears his throat. You jump back, wondering how he had made it across the store so quickly when he smirks again. Any other person would have you rolling your eyes at their superior attitude, but something about him made you shrink back. 

“Hello. I was wondering if you had Candide in stock yet?” His voice was sickeningly sweet, as if his tongue was dripping in honey as he spoke. 

“Candide?” 

“You know… Voltaire?” He continues, pulling his sunglasses off to reveal a pair of striking ochre colored eyes. 

“I.. I literally just started today. Um, I could help you look… I-” You stammer out as Mrs. Palmer comes ambling out of her office. 

“Jacob!” She exclaims happily, holding a rather worn book gently in her frail hands. 

He slightly bows to meet her, graciously accepting the book from her and gently tucking it under his arm. 

“Thank you, Evelyn. How much do I owe you?” 

You couldn’t help but huff out in annoyance at his dismissal of you. For some odd reason you felt the need to prove yourself to him. He grins again, letting out a quiet chuckle you were sure Mrs. Palmer didn’t hear. 

“Absolutely nothing!” She waved dismissively, quickly turning back to her office. 

“Don’t be silly!” he called, pulling a black leather wallet out of his pants. He pulled out several bills, pulling her back and slipping them into her palm in a discreet handshake. “I have more money than I need and nothing to do with it.” He smiled sweetly, his pink lips stretching across his rather pale skin. His soft, yet alluring, voice seemed oddly familiar to you. Maybe you had met him before, years ago. It’s not like this was a very large town. Mrs. Palmer flushed, waving him off but still pocketing the cash he had handed to her. She waves a quick goodbye, fluttering back to the office she so enjoyed to disappear to. 

Yet, Jacob stayed put, only turning to you once you both heard the slam of the office door. 

“I don’t think I know you,” He whispers, his boots making quiet clicking noises on the linoleum floor. 

“I… Well my dad and I, we just moved back here. Um, I used to come here every once in a while though. My grandparents live here, or they did before-” you cut yourself off, feeling like you were telling him entirely too much.

“Hmm.” He hums as he flips through his recent purchase. He was much too nonchalant for your liking. Usually, you would prefer this kind of behavior, especially after spending a day interacting with some of the most cheerful people you had ever met. But you wanted, no you needed, him to like you. “And, you are…?” He inquires, and you quickly respond with your name. 

“And you’re Jacob.” You posit. 

“Mhm. Just Jake is fine.” 

Jake didn’t seem as fitting as Jacob, which truthfully didn’t seem to fit him very well either. He seemed like he belonged in a century much earlier than this one. The way he spoke, the way he held himself, he just simply did not seem real. 

“You’re not walking home alone tonight are you?” He wondered aloud, barely addressing you, and you immediately felt defensive. 

“No, my friend is walking me back.” 

“Good. You have no idea what kind of… monsters are lurking these streets,” He leans across the counter slightly, his face inches from yours. The teasing lilt in his voice only served to intrigue you more.

As if you summoned him Danny comes sauntering in, his usual grin fading as soon as he spots Jake. Jake had pulled back the second the bell attached to the door rang, and he turned gracefully on his heel. 

“Ah, Wagner. Nice to see you again,” Jake’s smug smirk was back, and Danny grimaced at his words. 

“Kiszka,” he grumbles, skirting past Jake. Jake glides out, and Danny follows him with his eyes until he is fully out of the store. “God, that guy gives me the creeps.” He shivered to emphasize his point.

“You know him?” you ask as you gather your things, shooting a quick goodbye to Mrs. Palmer. 

“I know of him. He moved here like two years ago with his brothers. They’re all really weird. Their younger brother went to school with us but he never really bonded with anyone. They kind of all just stick to themselves. Well, Jake goes out and about a lot, mostly at night,” He begins, holding the door open for you as you both start down the sidewalk and towards your houses. He glanced around to make sure no one was in earshot before continuing, “I kind of feel bad for them. No parents, no other family, just each other. But, they’re kind of… freaky,” he whispered the last word and you giggled at his reluctance to speak freely. 

“Don’t laugh! I swear, that guy is everywhere.” He glanced around him as if to emphasize his point.

“If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were scared Daniel.” You tease him, nudging his side. But he didn’t laugh back. 

“I'm serious. I’d stay away from that guy, there’s something super off about him.” 

“He seemed okay to me.” You shrug, more intrigued than put off. “What do you mean they have no family?” 

“I don’t know a ton about the story, just what I heard from around. But… I think their mom and dad died a few years back. Maybe a car accident or something? And as soon as Jake was old enough he adopted Sam, even though they aren’t much older than him. I’m not sure how it works honestly. They live in this huge house just outside of town. No clue how they afford it, none of them work,” he scoffed, obviously annoyed by their mere presence in his town. 

You hummed, taking in all that Danny had said. And yet all you could think about were his striking eyes… and how beautiful his face was. You didn’t really care if Danny thought he was dangerous. From what you learned, he seemed like he had been through a lot, especially for someone so young. 

“I know I can’t control you, but just be careful, okay? He really gives me the willies.” 

You had arrived at your front door. The glow from the porch light illuminated his face, which was creased with worry. 

“The willies? I can protect myself, I promise.” You take his hand and wrap your pink around his, “Pinky promise,” you emphasize. 

He smiled softly again, squeezing your finger and reluctantly letting your hand go. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? Can’t let you walk to work alone.” 

“Not with all those monsters, huh?” You tease. 

“Yeah, yeah. No monsters. See ya,” he calls, already heading over to his house. 

“Night, Danny.”  

With a sigh you heave open the heavy front door, waving goodnight to your father who was so entrenched with work he was barely able to acknowledge you. Trudging up the creaky stairs, you wondered how so much had changed in the span of twenty-four hours. With the prospect of a biweekly paycheck and a slightly overbearing new friend, living in this sunless town seemed slightly more bearable. Not to mention your meeting of a rather… interesting stranger. You tried to push all thoughts of Jake out of your brain, to absolutely no avail. Something about him invaded all your senses from the moment he stepped into that damn bookstore. 

You fall onto your bed rather ungracefully, shoving your face into your pillow and groaning. Barely a day in this town and you’ve already developed a slightly unhinged and rather unhealthy obsession with a stranger you barely just met. Part of you hoped that he would be a regular customer, and from his interaction with Mrs. Palmer, you were sure he would be. You’d be sure not to mention your secret hope to Danny, considering his reaction to the very short interaction he shared with Jake. Danny’s odd prejudice aside, he hadn’t said anything truly worrying about the man. 

You slept peacefully that night, no more strangely vivid dreams to plague your mind. In fact, when you woke up you had absolutely no memory of dreaming at all. 

Work was agonizingly slow the next morning. Even the walk to the store with Danny was surprisingly uneventful. It didn’t help that the entire day you had been hoping to catch a glimpse of Jake. Even just his passing silhouette in the street would ease the slight ache in your chest. You weren’t one to obsess like this, especially not over a man you didn’t know. But you longed to get to know him, to learn what made him so intoxicatingly alluring,

And to your surprise, and satisfaction, he did show. In fact, an entire week passed and he visited every single night you occupied the space behind the register. 

Nothing out of the ordinary happened. He would come in, speak to you softly, purchase a worn book, and leave the store as soon as Danny popped back in to escort you home. You had grown increasingly fond of this routine. Deep down, you assumed this is all you were going to get from him anyway. 

That was until Saturday night.

Of course, he caught you entirely off guard when he arrived. He glided in gracefully, once more at night, all while you were absentmindedly stocking a dusty front shelf. He cleared his throat calmly when you failed to notice his arrival, and you nearly jumped ten feet in the air at the abruptness of it all. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you,”  He murmured casually, his voice just as velvety as you remembered. 

“No, it’s okay. I’m pretty easily startled,” You chuckle nervously, wiping your hands on your pants and turning to give him your entire attention. “Can I help you with anything?” You try to ignore the slight shaking in your voice as you fail to look him fully in the eyes. 

He had opted to forgo the pair of glasses he usually wore when you crossed paths, leaving his extremely vibrant eyes on full display. Once again he was wearing an almost completely unbuttoned shirt, allowing you to take in the expanse of his bare chest. He was close enough now that the barrier of  the front counter was gone that you could make out the dangly pendants that decorated his neck in extreme detail. 

“Maybe,” he mused, a pleasant look washing over his features, “I’m looking for another book.” 

“Yeah, most people who come in are looking for books,” you try to tease, failing to do so when your voice shakes slightly. “Anything in particular?”

“No. If I'm being quite honest I came in here to see you again,” he professed, grabbing a book and flipping through the pages before sliding it back into its proper position. “I seem to have failed to come up with a good enough lie in time though… I had more than enough time to.” 

“Honesty is usually the best policy.” You steady yourself, trying to ignore the quickening pace of your heart at his admission. He smiles widely, and you wondered if he could somehow hear the palpitations. 

“Usually. Sometimes it’s much more appealing to lie,” He paused for a moment, seeming pensieve, “I wouldn’t mind rereading something by Camus.” 

“You’re really into French literature, huh?” You ask, leading him down to the aisle where you were sure to find something by his requested author. “You know, most people come in here looking for a good romance novel. Maybe a really bad mystery. You might be the only person who’s ever seen this part of the store.” 

“I find that most people here don’t look that deeply.” 

You wondered if this had something to do with how people thought of him. Throughout your morning walks with Danny you had come to learn that he wasn’t the only person in the town that harbored negative feelings towards the elusive Kiszka brothers. You still couldn’t quite understand why. He seemed more than perfectly fine to you. 

“Ah…” he whispered, pulling a battered copy of The Stranger off the shelves. He blew the dust off the cover and turned it over in his hands. “I always enjoyed Camus' perspective on life.” 

“Really? So, ‘life has no meaning and death is the only certainty in life?’” 

“I said I enjoyed his viewpoints, not that I agreed with them. I simply find them entertaining. Death is never guaranteed, and life certainly isn’t without purpose.”

“So what do you suppose is the purpose of life?” You continue, choosing to ignore his claim that death isn’t everyone’s promised ending. 

“Isn't it all about creating your own purpose?” he observed, finally looking back up at you. He studied your face for a moment, and you felt overwhelmed by the sudden attention. You thought, for just a mere moment, that his eyes flickered down to your lips before they skirted back up to your eyes. You shied away from his eye contact, coughing nervously and turning back to face the shelf. 

“Very philosophical Jacob.” 

“Jake,” he corrected. 

The two of you stood in silence for a beat, and you were completely unsure of what to say next. You had glossed over his profession of coming in to simply see you, and now you wished you hadn’t. On a better day, with someone who was easier to talk to, you would have teased him. Maybe even mustered up the courage to flirt with him. But something about Jake terrified you.

He cleared his throat again, and you were pleased to find him looking ever so slightly nervous himself. 

“I was… I was wondering if you would like to go out with me one night.” The words lacked his usual self assuredness, which shocked you slightly. 

You tried to stop your jaw from completely detaching from your skull. Surely you had gone so far past the point of delusion that you were now hallucinating- rather vividly, you might add- that Jake was… asking you out. He seemed to grow impatient and slightly frustrated with your lack of a response, and yet he composed himself better than you could dream of. 

“Go out? Me?” You mentally punch yourself for not being able to come up with a better response. Your desperate need to make him like you only grew stronger with each interaction. You wondered if he knew how he affected you, and by the way you could barely look at him you were sure he did. 

“Preferably. I’d hoped I made that clear,” he laughed, and your heart skipped a beat. You wondered if his was pounding quite as hard as yours. He smirked again at absolutely nothing. 

“Um,” it was like you had forgotten every word in the English language. This was so thoroughly unlike you. Usually you had more than enough to say. 

Say something! Anything! 

Your brain was positively screaming at you in a voice that surely didn’t belong to you. 

“Yes. I would love to,” you say definitively, unsure how you had even gathered the ability to speak when he was staring at you so intensely. 

“‘Perfect. Tonight?” His tone was eager and you wanted to soak in the hopeful look that knitted his brows together. 

“I- Danny. Danny’s already walking me home tonight…” 

Goddamn Danny. 

As if on cue, he sauntered through the door of the building. He was less than pleased with Jake’s nightly visits, and he didn’t bother to hide it. He was never anything less than frustratingly punctual to interrupt your conversations. It seemed his slight distaste surrounding him had grown to near hatred. He always seemed to grimace when you brought him up, despite your attempts to not sound too interested when you spoke his name. 

“I’m sure he won’t mind walking home alone without you for just one night.” Jake’s usual velvety voice was back in your ear. 

You began to say something before Danny had fully made his way to where you and Jake were standing. You instinctively stepped away from Jake, not really understanding why. Danny’s usual grin slowly faded into a scowl, and you wished you could understand why he harbored such a strange resentment for him. 

“C’mon, I wanna get home soon. I think it’s about to start raining,” Danny mumbles, reaching for your arm. He was staring daggers at Jake while he spoke. 

“Wait- Just one second Danny,” you give him a sympathetic look, hoping he can sense that you need a moment alone. He grumbles under his breath and steps away, just enough that you can still see his tense shoulders as he leans against a wall opposite you and Jake. 

“I’m sorry, he’s just…” you pause, searching for the right words, “How about tomorrow night? I’m off, you can pick me up at home?” You suggested, worried he would hate the idea. 

“Of course.” He smiled as you rushed to the front, scribbling your address down on a scrap of receipt paper. 

“Beautiful,” he says, staring down at the smeared red ink, “I’ll see you at 6.” 

That’s all he leaves you with as he walks out of the store, not bothering to bid Danny a passing glance. You suddenly feel like you’re going to pass out as Danny turns to face you, the anger on his face replaced with a pleased look. He was always happy to see you. He gives you a moment to gather your things and you walk in silence for a while. You can tell he’s itching to say something by the way he’s bouncing around and refusing to meet your face. 

“Danny, if you don’t spit it out I’m going to go crazy,” you eventually announce, surprising so much so that he stops in his tracks. 

“I just… wanted to know what you guys were talking about is all.” 

He sounded like a dejected child, and any other night you would have laughed at his immature tone. But tonight your nerves were entirely too ramped up to indulge his antics. 

“He kind of asked me out,” you state matter of factly. 

“Kind of?” 

“Okay, not kind of. He’s- he’s taking me ... somewhere tomorrow night.” You winced, scared that he would… Well, you couldn’t imagine him angry. But you were more than aware that he didn’t like Jake, and he certainly wouldn’t enjoy you going on a date with him. 

To your surprise, he didn’t say anything. This was more than shocking considering he had spent the past few nights on a nonstop tangent about the Kiszka family. You learned about the three brothers: Jacob, Joshua, and Samuel. You learned about the big house that was occupied on the outskirts of town, the big house that no one had ever really visited. For someone who seemingly couldn’t stand the family, Danny knew quite a bit about them. You figured it was unfair that you knew so much about Jake, regardless of how true it was, when he knew nothing about you. You supposed that would be amended tomorrow night, though. 

Danny told you about the youngest, Sam, and how he had excelled in school. According to him, Sam was smart enough to be accepted into any Ivy League college. And yet, he stayed in this little town that had nothing to offer. You found that endearing, though you were sure not to reveal that insight to Danny. He never shared a single piece of information that would allow you to understand why he distrusted them, and you had begun to wonder if he ever had a real reason. 

And despite all this, he stayed silent. You had spent those earlier nights wishing he would shut up about Jake, and now you found yourself silently begging him to say something again. Even if he screamed, cursed you out, begged you not to go out with him. 

Why do you care so much? The little voice from earlier whispered in your head. You didn’t have an answer. 

Danny walked in stunned silence until he stopped at the last lamppost before reaching both of your houses. When he finally spoke it startled you. 

“I told you I have no control over you. It would be insane of me to want that. Look, I really just want you to be happy. And… I don’t really hate the guy. Just freaks me out a little. That’s it. Seriously.” Though he didn’t sound like he actually believed the words coming out of his mouth. 

“Thank you,” you start, shifting on your feet as you whisper, “I mean it. I know it’s stupid but… you're my only friend here. I wouldn’t wanna piss you off or anything.” You try to laugh but it catches in your throat. Why do you care so much? This time it was your voice screaming at you. “If it makes you feel any better it’s not gonna be anything serious. I'm only here for the summer,” you reminded him, much to his dismay. 

“Yeah. I know. Only for the summer. G’night sunshine,” he breathed softly as he led you to your door. 

You watched him make his way into his own home, but you stayed glued to the porch long past his departure. Staring at the cloudy sky that was beginning to pour down, you were able to make out one star that was shining a lot brighter than the others. You were too old to believe that wishing on a star would do anything, but that wasn’t going to stop you. You pushed down the embarrassed version of yourself that was screaming at you to not believe in something that foolish, and you silently mouth a single wish before heading inside and collapsing in bed.

[finn-m-corvex]

Rain

Small snippet I wrote involving DR Jaya angst! Not canon compliant whatsoever, this is just indulgent for me personally. Needed to get back into the writing spirit even though life has sucked pretty bad recently. Hope you guys like reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it <3 <3

Words: 1.7k

TWs: none other than Jaya angst if that's not your thing!

The water splashed around his ankles as he slammed his feet into the stones, but Jay never slowed down, powering through despite the rain pouring onto his shoulders in buckets. He didn’t think that the Cloud Kingdom would’ve been able to experience any storms due to the altitude, but they were in the clouds, so he guessed it made some sort of backwards sense. Did anything ever really make sense after the Merge?

His pants were soaked. The jacket that he had stolen from that weird green guy was soaked too, but it said it was water resistant, and that was all he needed. He needed to get to her.

Her.

Pushing the sopping bangs out of his eyes, Jay kept running, with only the vague directions of the very startled monk keeping him going. All of the pristine white buildings looked the same, their round roofs all blending together in what would’ve been a shimmering sea of gold if the weather was permitting, and Jay would’ve stopped to admire the beauty if he wasn’t on a mission. Quite possibly the most important mission that he had ever been on in his life, or at least the parts of it that he could remember. The rest of his memories always felt like they were floating just out of reach, like he could grasp them if he tried hard enough to remember, but they never moved any closer. It always felt like he was running in place whenever he thought about it for too long, never able to move forward, but going back wasn’t an option either. Not anymore.

Did he really need to remember anything?

Finally, the Cloud Kingdom Library came into view, and Jay banished any thoughts that weren’t about her from his mind. His face was still throbbing from where the one who always wore red had punched him hard enough to bruise, and while the only thing that Jay had been concerned with at the time was the black and blue that would cover his cheekbone, he should’ve been concerned over the tears streaming down the other man’s face, contorted in a mask of fury that could’ve burned the entire Administration building down to the ground with a single glare.

“I don’t know who the fuck you are anymore, but you’re not my brother. You never were my brother. And if this is who he was always going to turn out to be, I-I never would’ve let Nya anywhere near you.”

It burned. It burned and hurt and made his chest scream with pain more than anything he had ever heard in his life. More than that time he was passed over for the promotion that would’ve freed him. More than the Administration doctor saying that he would never get his memories back. The statement almost seemed to grab the box where Jay shoved all of the things he didn’t want to see: the grief, the anger, the misery and the loneliness and the agony and the disappointment-

And shattered it. So it was just as broken as him.

Kai. That was his name. His name was Kai. His brother’s name was Kai.

Jay very nearly slipped right down the stairs when a sharp sting reverberated through his skull, the water still fresh on his shoes, and the ankle that had always given him trouble when he had to take the office stairs twinged in pain. Would one of them be able to explain that to him if he asked? Explain why he had the ‘x’ scarred into his chest, or the whip marks from the small of his back to the top of his shoulder? The light scratch overtop of his eye that always made his head hurt if he looked at it for too long? Would they even want to do that for him anymore?

She had told him when they first met that she held the answers, answers that he didn’t want at the time. All he wanted was to go back to isolating in his office, drowning himself in his work and games and anything else to make him feel alive. 

But how could he have ever truly been alive if he wasn’t him?

“Nya!” Jay exclaimed when he reached the bottom, catching himself on the towering stone wall before he could faceplant. Wooden bookshelves, dizzingly tall, surrounded him like an army ready to march, and Jay never thought that he could be so intimidated by stationary supplies bound in leather when he was ensconced in both for as long as he could remember, but nevertheless there was something daunting about them. There was no telling what information was being held in here, maybe even the entire history of the universe. She could be anywhere in here, hiding behind one of these shelves and he wouldn’t even know it until she saw him and then what would he say and what would he do and oh First Master he wasn’t ready-

And then he looked again. She wasn’t behind a bookshelf, waiting to ambush him, but sitting at one of the desks on the far side of the room, hidden almost perfectly by a stack of books that was almost as tall as her.

Walking quickly but quietly with a poise that Jay only recently learned the origins of, he made his way to her, only a little prepared to spill his guts and beg for forgiveness, on his knees if he had to.

Until he heard soft snores coming from the beautiful woman, hisYang, and Jay was taken aback by how ethereal she looked bathed in the light of the candles surrounding her. Her gi was rumpled and dirty, and Jay could tell that she must’ve been laying here and sleeping for a while, perhaps reading in the library for even longer. The small beauty mark on her cheek was almost glowing, and Jay had to swallow back the sudden urge to run his thumb across it. The urge seemed to almost trigger a phantom longing from deep inside of him, to hold her and comfort her and love her, and Jay could tell that he was losing the battle against it.

Being more gentle than Jay could remember, he brushed her cheek, and his heart squeezed when Nya leaned into his touch with a soft sound. The water was streaming off of him in droves, forming puddles through all of the crevices in the floor, and yet the only thing Jay cared about was watching as the love of his past life relaxed as his thumb stroked her cheek. She—she still trusted him this much? Even after everything?

And yet, the thing that devastated him the most was seeing all of the titles on the books’ spines, the tops of the scrolls, everything that she was researching…all of it was about memories, and ways to cure even the most obscure illnesses, even some books about ancient myths that he knew she was hoping would work. Hoping for anything to work.

Jay’s chest tightened, and he pulled away as if his hand were on fire. 

No. No, he didn’t deserve to comfort her, not anymore. There was nothing that he could do, that he would allow himself to do for her anymore. Because she was here, and doing all of this work, and he had the audacity to try and find her just so that he could wallow in his own self-misery and keep throwing himself pity party after pity party?

“I’m..I’m so sorry,” Jay stammered, wiping at his eyes as the tears trailed down his cheeks, falling and mixing with the water still dripping from his hair, and Jay was suddenly very aware that he was making a mess. A bigger mess than usual, at least. He desperately tried to wring out his clothes, being as quiet as he could so that he wouldn’t wake Nya. And yet, he still paused and watched anxiously as her eyebrows would furrow and she would move slightly, breathing a sigh of relief when she finally turned her head over.

A sob threatened to burst out of his chest. “I should’ve been here,” Jay said quietly, “I should’ve been there for you. I should’ve..why did I stay there for so long? Why? Why do I…why do I always fuck it up, Nya? How do you still love me, after everything?”

Why did I choose to stay in hell, when I could’ve been in heaven with you?

Nya was shivering, some of the wind from the open stairwell blowing past them. Jay wished that he had brought a blanket, even if it would’ve been more like a fancy drenched towel at this point, then he remembered his suit jacket. It should be fairly dry from being protected by the green one’s jacket that he snatched, and it was better than nothing.

Jay started shedding the overcoat, letting it fall to the floor with a wet plop, and he did a double check of his suit jacket to make sure that he wasn’t about to infect Nya with a cold by leaving it with her. He very well might end up with a cold of his own after the sprint through the Cloud Kingdom. To his relief, it was relatively dry, and Jay was quick to tuck it around the water ninja’s shoulders…

…before finally giving into the urge to press a kiss to her head, as gentle as he could manage. Jay made sure that the jacket wouldn’t fall off of her before turning and walking back to the stairs, the green ninja’s stolen jacket over his shoulders, and watching as Nya’s shoulders rose and fell with steady breaths. He silently apologized to the monks that would have to clean up the mess, but he had work to do now. Jay Walker had a mission, and he was going to give it more attention than anything he had ever worked on for the Administration.

“I’m going to make this right,” he whispered. “Nya, I promise, I’m going to make this right. I’m going to make this okay. It’ll be okay.”

Didn’t the pink one mention something about a Djinn that granted wishes? Maybe Jay needed to pay him a visit.

[wombywoo]

It occurred to me the other day that during Quinn's super turbo trauma story, his neck probably wasn't slashed but choked. And now I have more questions, because somehow I can't stop thinking about your characters. So:

Did Quinn end up having a vision during that event? (Does he get them during every near-death event, or is it more rare than that?)

How the hell did he cope being with Marc? 'Cause I'm about 90% sure that guy would have got off on choking him.

When the taskforce was created, was Quinn still in his relapse where he thought he needed his visions? Did Liz find out? How does he feel about her trying to get him to have more visions? D=

Does Vincent find out Liz is using Quinn like that, and how does he feel about it? (Does Danny find out??)

In fact, how does Vincent feel about the fact an evil vampire caused a mass dragon killing spree and this was Quinn's first vision? I get the feeling that, while Quinn tries to shrug off these coincidences, Vincent is a little more concerned. XD

Also, in your art of Quinn with Marc, the wall says 196 people will die in an ungodly tragedy. Was that the dragon killing spree or another event we have yet to hear of?

Oops. 🙈 Sorry for so many questions! I just want to know all the things. And I can't help but love all your lore drops. <3

Ok!! OK!!!!! You are feeding me so well with these tasty questions auughhh thank you for finding interest in my dumb ramblings !!!!!

There are answers under the cut (warning for some heavy topics, discussion of injuries, domestic abuse, self harm, spoilers for a story that doesn't even exist, etc)

So.

Quinn's throat was slashed. It was cut with a knife, kind of a shaky first slice, but it got deeper and went all the way across; enough force to puncture his trachea, though it didn't sever the vocal cords; he was lying on his back and couldn't move, and honestly..he didn't really feel it at the time. It was all just a very numb, surreal feeling. I won't go into suuuper specifics, but thankfully some pressure was applied to the wound right away, he was resuscitated with cpr, and he was still able to breathe despite some complications to his airway, long enough for him to receive medical treatment.

But he did black out. And he might have seen things.

It's the only vision he's had that he can't remember...

~*waves hands all vague and mysterious like~*oohooohoo

Ok! Visions! So, for the most part, Quinn needs to be medically dead, albeit temporarily, for him to have a vision. Usually, his heart has to stop for one to happen, and he's just lying there, unmoving. Like..dead, dead. This should be a rare event, but uh...he's had more than a dozen visions, I'd say....

The thing is--he always comes back. Even in the worst scenarios (ie. not breathing for more than 5 minutes) he somehow always miraculously revives with minimal repercussions (sure, there's probable brain/heart damage, but it should be way waaay worse) So, he's kind of chalked up this vague 'immortality' thing as a byproduct of the visions...more mystery...

With Marc--yeah. That was just a bad situation all around. A lot of Marc and Quinn's physical relationship revolved around their dangerous power dynamic, so um. yeah. choking was one of the things they messed around with. Quinn actually requested it at the time, out of this twisted self-harm kink he'd developed. (he's, regrettably, the worst at coping with his trauma, so uhhh he feels like he needs to push himself to that same sensation of near death just feel anything at all and uhhh it's not good, you should not do this at home kids, but he feels like strangulation is the closest he can come to feeling alive just for a brief second and yeah he's fucked up he's not good I know..)

It was consensual stuff at first, but after one of their..sessions...Marc pushed it too far, he wouldn't let go and uh. Quinn suffocated and passed out. Marc did manage to revive him, but he...died for a second there. And he had a vision--one of the first dragon attacks in France that would later lead to its occupation by [insert evil vampire terrorist group]. Marc was actually comforting him after, he was just...rubbing him and telling him he was sorry and it was ok, so in the midst of a mental and physical breakdown, Quinn divulged what he saw. And Marc took him seriously, which was also rare. And they talked about it, and...it seemed ok for once.

It was only after that he realized how Marc wanted specific details, stuff he could use to harvest information and push numbers and invest in whatever type of bullshit could make a profit out of tragedy. They carried on with their relationship, but when it came to testing their limits in the bedroom....Marc took it too far again. And Quinn had another vision--a vampire massacre in [specific french location] and 196 people died, and he was crying as he told him how he saw it all from the perspective of a child. Marc seemed eager. He asked him even more questions. But...it was fine. He was still rubbing him, being calm. And Quinn had agreed to the choking. He wanted this. It was actually helping other people if he was able to use this information somehow.

But it happened again. And again. More times... Until eventually Quinn realized he had no say in the matter anymore.

The sad thing was that he convinced himself it was out of love; Marc was very passionate, this was just his way of showing him he loved him....

It became too much...after a while....

ANyway!

So, now we're in the present when Quinn joins the task force with Vincent~

At this point in time, he's gotten help with his mental state so he no longer feels the desperate urge to harm himself and induce his visions (for the most part), and is relatively stable (sure!)

Miss Major Liz is aware of his visions, to a degree. She had mistakenly thought Quinn developed a narcotic problem when she was his CO at some point (yes, he used drugs a few times to induce visions (it was about 50/50 successful)) Most of her awareness had come from Danny, who divulged his part in Quinn's #BFF-bonding-moment4lyfe (ie, forcing his friend to assist in drowning himself. twice) So she does have knowledge of some of the...wackiness.

At this point in our tale, she hasn't done anything about it. Yet. It's a testament to how off the books she works that she hasn't forced Quinn into a psych eval that will surely bench him for the next foreseeable uuhh forever. So she's keeping that on lock.

I do think that [at some point in this potential story of mine] she will consider using Quinn's 'talents' to their benefit. She's a hard lady, not afraid to trade dirty hands for even dirtier handshakes, so there will probably be a time when she wants to take advantage of potential knowledge that can influence her agenda....

Vincent...will not take this lightly.

Honestly, this whole scenario is rife with delicious drama, so I will simmer it on low and ponder it for future conflict in the [insert novel series teehee] to come

Vincent has a lot of feelings about Quinn !!!! and his visions !!! and the evil vampire agenda !!!! Too many feelings!! But all he wants is for his boy to understand that his safety and wellbeing and life are the most important things to him, and none of that is worth trading for a small glimpse at a future that will happen anyway. Quinn...disagrees. This is also teeming with potential drama, you see...

I have a LOT more of this type of speculation, but for now, I will leave you with this dump of lore and trauma for you to sink your teeth into~

Thanks for the saucy and delicious questions <3

[vigilskeep]

do you have any refs for Minerva’s relationship with the other dao companions? I did not realize she and leliana was estranged 😭 also if im remembering correctly she makes loghain do the dark ritual? sorry I do like spinning her around in my head and knowing the little details she’s such a great character!!

leliana and minerva did not have a clear breakup in the alistair minerva sense but they did grow apart because of the simple reason that post dao minerva becomes politically at odds with the chantry while leliana is serving its leader. leliana is not a type of person minerva finds very easy to like or trust so while they did grow on each other over the course of dao they never had a simple friendship in the first place

alistair you probably know about bc its kind of the cornerstone of minervaposting but theres a post fully explaining it not much further down in her tag

zevran is her romance <3 i hesitate to use the word “soulmates” exactly but they definitely fit together in a way no other minerva pairing could match

morrigan she has a weird close complicated vaguely homosexual friendship with, i’m sure this is par for the course for f!wardens. they probably could have been in love if morrigan had been willing to pursue it in the start and if minerva hadn’t already gone for someone else by the end, and all that is unspoken but very present in everything about them

sten is i guess kind of the typical high approval relationship as presented in game? not much more unique. a lot of respect a lot of arguing a lot of dry humour. they could hang out in silence comfortably and they’re also both know and respect that they’re very capable of killing the other if their greater purposes ever demand it

oghren she kind of doesn’t pay much mind in origins when she doesn’t have to but he becomes part of the family in awakening. they bond over having their insane shared experiences of the blight, and also over him trying to quit drinking and her trying to quit blood magic which leads to some really wild out of context conversations for the others. and hey, eventually over first attempting to parent at similar times

wynne she has a bit of a sharp relationship with. i think this could vary a lot if i pick her up earlier, but in my main minerva playthrough i picked her up late by which time minerva had absolutely no fucking interest in getting the kind of lectures she grew up with. sorry grandma </3

uhhhh who else. shale idk man im sorry for being a fake fan but shale’s dlc truly does nothing for me it’s unfunny and i dont think abt it at all 💔 this would be written in less harsh terms if i wasnt sleepy

loghain is. well that’s a kettle of fish. minerva spares him because it happens to be a preferable move for her agenda and her way of thinking, it’s not rlly about him as a person at all. she doesn’t absolve him of anything he did, like, she still thinks he’s a bastard it’s just that she doesn’t really believe at all in the concept of justice being done if it doesn’t serve a purpose. when he’s in the party they do build up respect and a weird kind of friendship. he sucks and she’s bitter about what sparing him cost her, but that isn’t relevant, it’s not going to stop her learning from him, or fighting at his side as the best team she can quickly make them, or simply finding him entertaining to talk to. so by the end it’s as a friend that she asks him to do the dark ritual, whatever that means. post dao she agrees with weisshaupt that him being assigned outside of ferelden is wise but they continue to write to each other extremely regularly, mostly on matters of news and strategy but occasionally on the more personal

is that everyone i think thats everyone

[buckys-little-belle]

What if reader was autistic and had issues with fabrics and feels so buckys arm was actually a way for them to calm down

A Cold Calm Down

Bucky Barnes x Little!Reader (They/Them pronouns used)

Notes - As someone who has struggled with sensory issues, especially clothing related, this fic and request hold a really special little spot in my heart <3

Warning - Vague mentions of fabric textures, Bucky being self conscious of his Metal arm

. ☆ . ☾ . ☆ . ☽ . ☆ . ☾ . ☆ . ☽ . ☆ . ☾ . ☆ . ☽ . ☆ . ☾ . ☆ . ☽ . ☆ . ☾ . ☆ . ☽ . ☆ .

"What about that one Bub?" Bucky asked as he pointed towards a blue t-shirt.

Y/n's hand slid down the sleeve quickly before pulling back to grab Buck's. "I's not right." They frowned, their chest feeling heavy as they remembered the last two shirts.

Bucky felt a few more before landing on a long sleeve. "Maybe this one?" He took a step back to let Y/nm explore on their own.

"I can't, Daddy, they all wrong!" Y/n sounded completely defeated as they ran back to Bucky. "They's so wrong." They cried, fumbling with Bucky's left glove before stuffing it in their pocket.

Bucky stood still, unsure about how he felt with his metal arm being uncovered. But with one look down, Y/n's hand in his, their breathing suddenly more stable, he felt okay. "Do you want to try another store? Or wait a few minutes?" Bucky asked as Y/n's second hand found it's way under his jacket and onto more metal, their body slowly melting against his.

"I feel really ... really full." Y/n mumbled against Bucky's shoulder, their fingers tracing the little groves of his arm.

Bucky smiled slightly, enjoying his Bub's take on 'overwhelmed'. "Okay, then let's take some deep breaths." He turned his body so Y/n was leaned against his chest instead of his shoulder, their hands still gripping his own.

"Follow you." They whispered.

"Yes, follow me." He repeated, his chest rising slowly, air filling his lungs then holding and then releasing. The two of them standing face to face as they took a moment.

Y/n raised their head, Bucky's metal arm warm where their fingers had been, and his eyes on them. "Feels better." They smiled at him.

"Good." He leaned down to kiss the top of their head before continuing. "Would you like to try again? Or go and get a donut?" Y/n couldn't hide their thought as they smirked then frowned. "You did a good job Bub." He insisted. "We can always come back another day, okay?" He didn't want to push them to do something he knew they struggled with. In fact he was very proud at how well they did, not only in a new store, touching new fabrics, he was also proud that they knew when they needed a break, something Y/n and him had been working on.

"Donuts 'hen." They smiled, their second hand leaving Bucky's arm, but their first still holding onto his hand firmly. "Please."

"Okay, donuts it is." Bucky chuckled as he watched Y/n lean their weight onto their heels, a sign they were ready to move. "Anything for you Bub." He whispered.

[katsu28]

congratulations kait!! this celebration is SO cute! i am gonna request ☕️ + “You look stupid as all hell right now.” + hangman !!! thank you loveyyyy

lola my dear my love thank you!!! love you <3

jake "hangman" seresin x reader, 1.4k, slightly suggestive towards the end, join the celebration!

“Babe, do you know where the box of kitchen plates is?” 

It was something straight out of your dreams, finally moving in with the love of your life. You’d been dating Jake Seresin for two years and finally made that leap, the last of your boxes making their way to your new home safely today. There was a lot coming from your apartment and his, but everything would find its place here. 

You could’ve had nothing and still be just as happy, because you still had Jake, and that was really all you needed. 

Except for he wasn’t answering you right now, and you really wanted to find the plates. So you went looking for him, calling his name every few seconds until you reached your bedroom. You found him alright, you definitely weren’t prepared for the sight you were met with. 

He was wearing a sweater of yours, definitely way too small for his broad frame judging from the way it cut off above his belly button. It was tight in the shoulders too, and you’d be a bit more annoyed at him stretching it out if you weren't so in love with him. He was grinning guiltily at you, hands propped up on his hips as he stood in the middle of a pile of your clothes. 

“I was gonna put all your stuff in the closet for you so you didn’t have to.” He said sheepishly, gesturing vaguely at the mess around him. “...Surprise?” 

You couldn’t help but smile fondly at him, so big your cheeks ached. “You look stupid as all hell right now.” 

“I think you mean stupid handsome,” He scoffed, arching a brow at you. 

“No, I meant what I said. What made you think you could fit into that, honey?” You chided playfully, crossing the room to get a better look at him. It was an older sweater of yours, a bit frayed at the sleeves from how often you’d worn it over the years you’d had it, but still soft and even cozier now that it had been worn in. 

“You were wearin’ this sweater the first time we met, d’you remember?” 

Of course you remembered. You remembered it like it was yesterday, even though it had been almost three years ago. 

You were grabbing a little pick me up before work at your usual coffee place one morning, and you spotted it on the pickup counter, the same thing you always got. Another hand reached for the plastic cup at the same time, long fingers curling around yours for a moment before jerking back like they’d been burned. 

The problem was, your gut instinct was to retreat as well, leaving the cup of coffee to tip over on the counter. The lid popped off, and suddenly your sleeve was cold and wet and smelled like…well, coffee.

“Shit!” You hissed, shaking it out as best you could. “What the hell?” 

“Oh fuck—” You looked up, and the most handsome man you’d ever laid eyes on was staring right back at you, blond hair swept up and out of his face, pretty green eyes widened in something akin to horror. “I am so sorry, I thought it was mine, I didn’t—are you alright?”

You should’ve been angry—or annoyed at the very least, because now your favorite sweater was stained and you’d probably never be able to get it out—but you weren’t. All you could think about other than your sopping wet sleeve was that his guy was clearly concerned about you. 

Maybe he took your silence as a not-so-great one, because he forced out a chuckle. “On the bright side, at least it was iced coffee.” He was trying to make light of the situation as he grabbed a wad of napkins from the dispenser, thrusting it out towards you clumsily. You thought it was actually kind of cute. 

An amused laugh bubbled out of you, and you shrugged, nodding. “There’s the silver lining.” 

“I’m Hangman—Jake, I mean. My name’s Jake. Seresin. Hangman’s my callsign, s’force of habit.” 

“Callsign? You Air Force or something?” 

“Navy, actually, and I’ll try not to be too offended by that.” 

“Air Force, Navy—aren’t they pretty much the same?” 

“Okay, ouch.” Jake faux winced, squeezing his eyes shut before opening them again to see you were just messing with him. Then he smiled, shaking his head. “Maybe I could buy you another coffee, make up for the one that spilled? We could talk. I could tell you the difference between the two.” 

“Why not make it up now? We’re both still here.” You were taking a bolder approach than you usually did when it came to people you found attractive, but something had come over you with Jake. Even though he was a complete and total stranger, you felt surprisingly at ease with him.

Jake perked up at that, lips curving into a smile, but then he checked his watch. He grimaced. “I’m actually late for work right now, I’m so—can we raincheck? I promise I’m not tryin’ to get out of anythin’, my captain’ll have my behind if I’m not on the tarmac ready to go in ten.” 

“Ten minutes? Well what the hell are you still doing here? Go!” 

He grinned at you one more time before moving to hurry out the door, but didn’t get more than a few feet away when he skidded to a stop, turning on his heel to face you again. “Wait, I didn’t get your name!” 

“Guess you’ll just have to meet me back here again. Saturday, noon. Don’t be late.” You winked at him and he gave you a mock salute before dashing out the door, leaving you thinking about him the rest of the day, and until you had the privilege of seeing him next. 

It took Jake almost a year to ask you out after you met up that Saturday, wallowing in what he thought was the friend zone for the longest time until the two of you managed to get your heads out of your asses and see what you were missing. And it was actually you who told him you liked him first, murmuring it in his ear at a summer bonfire with your friends, but it was him who kissed you first—right after you told him you liked him. 

“Yeah, I remember.” You said softly, fingers trailing down the sleeve to the faint brown stain in the soft wool where the coffee had spilled. Jake’s arms slid around you, though a little stiffly given his constraints. “Look at us now.” 

“Look at us indeed. Havin’ our own place, putin’ down roots. Seems pretty crazy, doesn’t it?” He murmured, giving your waist a loving squeeze. You did the same around his shoulders, tilting your chin up for a kiss that Jake gladly gave you. 

Jake always kissed you like he did everything in life—confidently and well. They still had you reeling in the moments after even now, even though he’d kissed you about a thousand times in the time you’d been together—probably more. 

This one was no different, but something about it felt sweeter. Like he was less worried about winning, because he’d already won it all. Because he had you, because you had a home together. Because now you could start the rest of your lives with each other in this home. You could almost hear him saying something about having the best prize of them all. 

“Now take off my sweater. Your big man shoulders are stretching it out.” You said, patting him firmly on the chest a few times. 

Jake gasped, slapping an appalled hand over his chest. “Is this your way of tryin’ to get me out of my clothes? In the middle of the day? You tease!”  

“We’ve still got a whole house to unpack, so no, I’m not trying to get you out of anything. Except my sweater, so if you would be so kind?” 

“You could at least pretend to want me once in a while, y’know.” He sighed dramatically, letting his head hang. That was Jake, ever the drama queen out of the two of you. 

You lifted his chin with two fingers, fixing him to the spot with a look. “I’m sorry, was this morning not enough for you? What was it—one, two, three—” 

“Okay, okay, fine! You were yellin’ somethin’ about kitchen plates earlier? Let’s get the damn thing done so we can have more time for this morning’s activities.” 

“I swear, that’s all your dude brain thinks about—take off my sweater, damnit!” 

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[14dayswithyou]

This is probably very far-fetched and a result of me overthinking it but i have a theory that Leon is secretly a yandere. So here's my little investigation :3

Piece of evidence number 1: I vaguely remember you saying something like "who said Ren is the only yandere in the game?" Or something along those lines, in an older post.

Piece of evidence number 2: In a post from june with some Leon crumbs you said: "When he was younger, Leon almost got into a fight because the weird kid in the grade below him tried to give you a ring on the playground. But Leon shut the whole ordeal down really quick because you promised to marry him first. Did you forget?" And that's just giving me yandere vibes

(Moving onto crackpot theories cause this is just me over analyzing jokes you made)

Piece of evidence number 3: You mentioned Leon, Theo and Jae would wear matching among us costumes for halloween, and Leon would be the imposter. Which made me think he might actually be an imposter lol

Piece of evidence number 4: This post was all non-canon and a joke but i'm still going to mention it. That one ask about Ren messing around with Angel's bedsheets, your response was "Who's gonna tell em about what Leon does in the bathroom during your sleepovers?? ^^"

Okay that's all i have ! Hope you have a good day !!

✦゜ANSWERED: I'm gonna need you to be a bit more quiet.................