#i still live with my parents lo l

[ashleycatchemm]

1-25: Fix You

25 of ??

Pairings: Reggie x Reader, Luke x Julie, Alex x Willie

Summary: (Y/n) (L/n) has been able to see and feel ghosts ever since she was little, which made it hard to tell the ghosts from the humans. Everyone has always thought she was a bit crazy, even her best friends, Julie and Flynn. But when three ghosts with a love for music appear in Julie's garage, suddenly (Y/n) doesn't seem so crazy anymore.

Song: Fix You (Coldplay)

Season 1 Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

♬♩♪♩♬♩♪♩♬♩👻 ♪♩♬♩♪♩♬♩♪♩

Julie, Ray and I were walking up the driveway, only for him to stop "(Y/n), we need to talk." I rolled my eyes in annoyance before turning around to face him. Noticing Julie stopped as well her dad was quick to shoo her away "Julie go wait outside the house, I'll be there soon to talk." Julie nodded her head before looking nervously between her dad and me, I sent her a small smile as if to tell her 'I'll be alright' which gave her the okay to keep walking.

Once she was out of ear shot, Ray spoke up "Listen (Y/n), I'm worried about you. Julie's been telling me you've been skipping school and drinking no less." Ray held a disappointed look on his face as he continued "I'm supposed to be looking out for you, but all you've been doing is getting into trouble. I care about you like you were my own." My eyes narrowed at him, not wanting to have this conversation.

"Yeah but I'm not. I'm not your daughter. And you're not my dad, so stop trying to act like it."

He ignored what I said and decided to speak up finding an explanation as to why I'm acting up"(Y/n), I get that you may be still grieving over your parents passing and your grandmothers as well. But I can't allow this behavior to continue. I'm just trying to look out for you, and so was Julie by telling me." I shook my head letting out a scoff, crossing my arms across my chest.

"So that's why I think it would be best for your uncle to come back down here."

My eyes shot over to Ray, taking a step forward I stated"No. He can't come down here! Besides he has work. Do you really think he's just going to-" Ray cut me off, already seeming to know the answer to the question I haven't fully asked yet.

"(U/n) already told me that if you stepped out of line again that he'll be here in a heartbeat. So I don't think work would be much of an issue for him."

My teeth clenched in anger, hands turning into fists at my sides, I don't want him down here. I don't need him down here. "I suggest you go home now. You have school tomorrow and I still have to talk to Julie." I let out a small huff in anger before walking off back down the driveway, passing by the boys and Arius along the way. The boys didn't say anything, just watched as I walked off, and I wasn't in the mood to talk to them anyway. The black cat was quick to follow close behind.

When I glanced at the boys, the looks on their faces told me that they heard everything, from my parents passing, to my uncle coming down to Los Angeles. It wasn't something I wanted them to know but now they did, and I was sure Reggie would be the one asking me all the questions when he gets a chance.

♬♩♪♩♬♩♪♩♬♩👻 ♪♩♬♩♪♩♬♩♪♩

When I walked through the front door of my house, my eyes immediately drifted towards the kitchen. Having one thought echo inside my head I need a drink. Arius didn't say a word as he watched my every move from the couch in the living room, having hopped on it as soon as we walked in. I started heading towards the kitchen, only to be stopped by a jolt of pain coursing through my arm, causing a fit of coughs to arise.

"What did you do?"

I ignored Arius and ran over to the bathroom, I leaned over the sink, letting out a giant cough, a red color splattered inside the sink. The metallic taste of blood lingered in my open mouth as I tried to catch my breath. Spitting in the sink to get some of the awful taste out of my mouth, I could feel Caleb's mark burning my arm. I let out a yell in pain as I stepped back against the wall, falling down, my whole body was in pain but the only pain I could truly process was the mark on my arm. I can't take it anymore. Stumbling out of the bathroom, I slowly made my way to the kitchen.

"(Y/n)! Who did you make a deal with?!"

I ignored Arius once again, trying to make my way over to the knife holder If I can't stop this with magic... pulling one of the knives out, I rolled my sleeve up Then I'll stop it the old fashioned way. I brought the knife up with my left hand, my right arm sitting on the counter, ready to be sliced.

"(Y/n) stop!"

I felt someone hastily grab my arm, pulling it back so I'd turn to face the person halting my antics "Stop!" A pair of all to familiar green eyes stared back into my own, shining with worry. The burning sensation slowly subsided on my wrist, as the dark haired bassist's brows furrowed, as if he was trying to figure out what's going on inside my head. I let go of the knife in my hand, if he wasn't a ghost I'm certain the knife would've stabbed his foot on the way down. Staring at Reggie, three different emotions flashed across my face in the span of what seemed like minutes but was only a couple of seconds.

The first was anger, This is all Reggie's fault. If it weren't for him I wouldn't have a death sentence over my shoulder. But of course I knew this would happen someday. As soon as someone else comes along, I knew Caleb would act like this. I just didn't know it was going to happen so soon.

The second emotion was confusion, What is he doing here? Why is Reggie here? He shouldn't be here. I didn't want him to be here, to witness me at my lowest. I didn't want him to see me weak, because this whole time I've been so strong when in reality I've been struggling to stay afloat. I don't know where I'm headed or how to even stop Caleb's marks from killing everyone.

"Are you alright?"

Finally my brave mask that I've been putting on for days let up, my face shifting into a look of sadness, all while fear could be seen in my eyes. No. I'm not alright. I haven't been for a very long time. Reggie didn't ask about the knife, and he didn't ask about the stamp on my wrist. But just from saying those three simple words all while gazing into his worried green eyes. I broke. Three simple words, caused me to lean forward and engulf the ghost in front of me in a giant hug.

I didn't answer his question, hiding my face in his chest, not wanting him to see the tears that are currently making their way past my eyes. Reggie seemed a little surprised at first, letting out a small grunt as I practically threw myself at him. But he was quick to wrap his arms around me. Neither of us said a word as he let me cry in his arms, I felt safe and at peace there. Scrunching up the back of his shirt in my hands, I didn't want to let go, and I could tell he didn't either.

The two of us stood there, Reggie's tank top not doing much to muffle my sobs. I don't know how long we stood there, could've been a couple of minutes, but it felt like hours. After everything I've been through, from my grandmother and my parents passing to both of my deals with Caleb, getting betrayed by my best friend and now the boy I love, his friends and I are all on the verge of death. This was the first time I was asked if I was okay and I finally broke.

'No Reggie I'm not okay.'

Was what I wanted to say.

'I have been fighting a battle for so long with myself. And I feel like I'm drowning in loss.'

But I couldn't.

Every time I opened my mouth all that would come out is cries and gasps, causing me to bring him even closer to me and hug him even tighter.

Once I was finally calm enough Reggie pulled back from the hug "Hey." He stated, all while placing his pointer finger and thumb around my chin, bringing my head to look up at him. My sorrow filled eyes stared into his worried ones. "What is going on?" I stayed silent, so many different thoughts of what to say flew through my head, but nothing left my mouth. "Talk to me." Reggie stated, desperately trying to get me to say something. Anything. Pulling my head back to get it out of his grasp, I moved around him to pick up the knife, all while the dark haired boy held an almost desperate look on his face.

"(Y/n), please. Say something."

Once I placed the knife in the sink, I walked over in front of Reggie, putting a hand out for him to take, a sad smile crossed my lips "Come with me." His eyes danced between me and my hand before settling on me, placing his hand in my own I was quick to drag him over to the stairs. Arius hopped off the couch and followed close behind.

"Where are we going?"

I didn't respond, having the destination set in my mind. I knew I probably shouldn't show him, but I had to. I needed to get a lot off my chest and in order for me to feel comfortable enough, I need to be with my grandmother. Stopping outside a door that sat ajar, I pulled Reggie over to stand in front of me. Noticing the door move a little, I glanced down, only to see Arius already making his way past the door. Looking back up into Reggie's forest green eyes, he asked once again "(Y/n), seriously. What the hell is going on with you?" Letting a sigh escape my lips I took my hand away from his, only to place both of mine on his shoulders.

"Reggie. Before we enter this room, I need you to know that it's a very sacred place for me. So please don't touch anything. I just need you to sit and listen."

The dark haired bassist stared at me for a second, before blinking and nodding his head "yeah, I'll do whatever you say." I sent him a sad smile in response. Turning around, I grabbed the door knob, taking a deep breath before opening the door even more than it already was, giving the two of us room to walk through. The first thing my eyes landed on was some of the candles on the small alters I had set up for each of my family members. "Crap!" I exclaimed as I ran over to the closet, paying no mind to the black cat that seemed to have gotten comfy on the guest bed.

Swinging the closet doors open, I opened the cardboard box on the floor which held a bunch of unused candles along with a lighter. Taking out four candles to replace the ones burnt out on each of the altars. Grabbing the lighter as well, I was quick to make my way over to the three altars. Taking a glance over at Reggie, I noticed him slowly making his way into the room all while his eyes stayed glued on me, watching my every move. Shaking my head a little, I turned back towards the altars.

On each of the small tables sat a picture, four candles and something that used to belong to the person. The alter on the right end was my grandmothers, three out of the four candles on the altar were still lit, while the fourth was melted and burnt out. In the center of her altar sat a necklace that she always used to wear, it had a gold chain with a small heart shaped ruby connected to it. I was quick to replace the candle that was melted and moved onto the next altar.

The middle altar was my fathers, since my father was my grandmothers child, it was only right that I placed his altar next to hers. On it sat a picture of my father along with four candles, two of which were currently lit and burning brightly. In the center of the altar sat a wristwatch that my father would wear practically everyday, it was a silver and blue steampunk watch that had silver gears. I replaced the two melted candles on the altar before moving onto the last one.

The last altar was my mothers. Same as the last two, a picture sat on it, along with three lit candles. As for the item I chose to sit at her altar, I decided on going with one of the many rings that she would always wear. Replacing the last candle, I used the lighter to light the candles just replaced. Putting the lighter off to the side, I turned back to look at Reggie only to see him already staring at me, eyes wide as he shifted on his feet not knowing what to do with himself.

Patting the spot next to me, I nodded my head off to the side "Come sit." Fixing myself so that I sat criss cross. Reggie made quick strides over to me, plopping down next to me in a criss cross fashion. "(Y/n), what is going on with you? I thought you said your parents were on a business trip. Now turns out they are dead?" Shaking my head a little as I stared at the altars in front of me, my hands gripped onto my pants, not knowing what to say to him.

"Reggie, what do you want me to say?"

"How about the truth."

Reggie's tone came out as angry and almost annoyed. This caused me to look over at him, a pain shooting through my chest from just the look on his face. "I just... I want you to be able to talk to me about these things. I feel like you've been keeping so much, not just from me, but from everyone." His angry look was quick to shift into a desperate one "Please (Y/n). Tell me what's going on inside your head." I stared at Reggie for a second or two before looking back at my father's alter, which sat in front of me. "Reggie, even if I told you everything, I can't guarantee that you'd understand me any better. Hell, you'd probably want to turn around and make a run for it." Glancing back at the bassist next to me I watched his eyes narrow at me "Try me." He stated, his tone of voice being serious.

I guess he's so fed up with being left in the dark. I thought and how could I blame him? His feelings for me are probably through the roof and he has no clue why and I can tell a lot of the time it's like he's acting on autopilot whenever he's with me, like outside the coffee shop.

My gaze shifted from Reggie to my father's alter, only to land on my grandmother's alter, and stay trained on her picture. "It all started when I was little. My dog, Hunter passed away when I was around 6, but my parents never told me. I guess they wanted to keep me in the dark about it a little longer, not wanting to upset me, they told me that he was at a camp for dogs and that he would be staying there for awhile.

"But I was confused because right next to them, clear as day was Hunter sitting down and staring up at me. When I pointed out the family dog next to them my dad seemed a little worried and told me that hunter wasn't there, while my mother tried to think of it as me using my imagination. I'm sure that my dad knew the whole time what it was, but he was in denial. They both were. I still have no idea why.

" Years later, my grandmother picked up on my abilities and was quick to start training me. She was a witch as well in case you couldn't tell. It's where I got the two books from and all of her ingredients for spells. My parents, however, were not to happy with my grandmother "fueling my delusions" as my mother put it. But my grandmother fought and argued with the both of them, determined to teach me magic.

"She always used to say that witches were put on earth to act as guides to the lost souls who are trapped on earth and couldn't pass over to heaven. We are to act as their angels, helping in anyway we can to get them to crossover."

I glanced at Reggie, to see if he was still following along, only to see his brows furrowed, telling me that he had a question on his mind. "You look like you have something on your mind." Reggie's eyes stared into my own, finding comfort in his green hues, I waited for him to talk. Rubbing the back of his neck a little (something he seems to do when he's nervous about things) "It's just..." he paused a moment, glancing away before taking a deep breath and asking the dreaded question.

"You said that you help ghosts cross over. Does that mean that one day I'd have to leave you?"

My heart felt heavy in my chest as soon as the question left his mouth. I knew deep down that one day he would be gone and that I shouldn't have gotten to attached. But I couldn't help it, and once he asked that question, I remembered the real reason why we can't be together. He's a ghost and I'm a human. Eventually he'll move on, while I'll be stuck here on earth.

I'm okay living with the pain of not having him by my side. I thought, things never seem to work out for me, and I'm okay with it. As long as Reggie and the others make it to heaven, that's all that matters. He'll be happy up there.

"Yes Reggie."

I swallowed the lump in my throat, eyes landing back on the alters in front of me "One day you'll leave and cross over as well." Gripping onto my pants, I felt a pain shoot through my chest, as if my heart was physically breaking. Tears gather in my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. Refusing to let him know that I care to much. I can't have this stupid bond deviate him from wanting to cross over. "What if I don't want to cross over?" This grabbed my attention, my head quickly turning towards him out of shock.

"Reggie. You, Luke and Alex need to crossover."

"But why? What's so wrong with staying here with you and Julie?"

I was starting to get angry, why would he even say something like that? Crossing over should mean everything to him, yet he's throwing it off to the side like it's nothing. Reggie looked frustrated as well, speaking up once again "(Y/n), I want to stay with you. I want to be able to live again. This is my second chance at everything. So why-" shaking my head I looked back at the alter in front of me.

"If you guys stay here for too long, I'm afraid you might become vengeful, or murderous. And I don't want that happening to you guys. The longer a soul stays trapped here, the more it corrupts."

"What about Caleb? Or Willie?"

As soon as he mentioned Caleb my anger arose as I shouted all while unintentionally glaring at Reggie "Caleb is a vengeful snake!" Letting out a small breath I didn't even realize I was holding, I turned back around to face the alters, all while slowly calming as I brought up Willie. "And Willie has already almost been down a terrible path multiple times now. I've always had to pull him back." Even after telling him everything, Reggie still seemed determined to stay.

"So why can't you do that with us?"

"This is different Reggie!"

They can't stay. I can't let Reggie stay, if he stayed because of me and he turns vengeful, I'd never be able to forgive myself.

"How? How is it different?"

Reggie was determined to pull the answer out of me, but I wouldn't let him. Turning towards him I yelled "Because it just is! Now drop it!" The bassists brows furrowed in anger. Closing his eyes, he took in a breath, exhaling while shaking his head a little, his forest green eyes could be seen once he opened them. He seemed calmer than a second ago "So, what happened to your grandma?" Reggie changed the subject, pulling the both of us back to what I was talking about before.

"She fell really ill one day, and died a few days later. It all felt so sudden. After her death I tried to continue my training as a witch, having to teach myself everything else, but nothing was going right. Every time I tried to help a ghost crossover it all went wrong. Hell there were some points where I ran into really vengeful ghosts that I thought I could help. Only for them to almost kill me. But I kept going, because I promised my grandmother I would learn and keep up with my training, I didn't want to let her down."

My eyes glanced between my mother and father's alters, knowing that I was getting closer and closer to talking about that one moment. The night that my parents died, all because of me.

"My parents never wanted me to partake in my grandmothers madness, as they would call it. But I didn't listen to them. After my grandmother died it was never easy for me to control my powers or even help a ghost cross over, as I said before. I also started arguing with my parents a lot, especially my father. I never knew what he had against his mother that he wanted me to drop the magic shtick so much. I just figured that they thought I was going crazy or insane, hell I'm pretty sure at one point they were going to start sending me to a shrink."

I let a small huff in amusement leave my lips, all while tears started to gather in my eyes. I felt a strong sense of sadness hitting me all at once, but tried to block it out with the feeling of fake amusement I let out after bringing up the therapist. I bit my lip, not wanting to talk about things, not wanting to continue and tell him everything that happened. Shaking my head I let out a breath of air, both of my hands gripped my pants harshly, trying to navigate my feelings and figure out how to even tell Reggie what really happened to my parents.

The two of us sat in silence for a short while, as I had an inner battle with my thoughts. The memory of what happened coming to the front of my head as if it just happened yesterday. The screams and yells echoed and bounced around in my head. I suddenly felt a wave of calm wash over me as the yells and cry's diminished. Opening my eyes I glanced down on my lap, feeling a hand on my own, I noticed Reggie's hand wrapped around my own. When it got there I have no idea, but one thing was for sure...

I don't want him to let go.

Moving my hand around so I could interlock it with his own, I looked up at the dark haired bassist who now sat next to me. Our eyes met and the first words that left his mouth was "Everything is okay. You don't have to continue if it's only going to cause you pain." I sent him a small smile, as if to let him know that I'm alright. "I'll be okay. I just want to tell you everything that happened." I took a few minutes to calm myself, my eyes drifting over to my parents alters.

"On the night that everything went to shit, my parents were about to leave for a business trip. But before they left, my mother had a few choice words she had to say to me. I don't remember exactly what was said, but I do know that it had to do with me seeing a therapist and them telling me that I'm crazy just like my grandmother."

My hand gripped Reggie's a little tighter as I continued to tell the story "My parents left the house soon after. I remember feeling a burning rage running through me, and wanted to practice some spells to cool off. But I guess I was just so mad to the point where my magic was directed towards my parents. I remember watching through the caldron as their car crashed. Their screams and cries echoing in my head as the car suddenly caught on fire and blew up soon afterwards." Closing my eyes I could feel myself starting to spiral into both sadness and anger.

Tears fell from my eyes, opening them, I stared down at our interlocked hands as I continued "I always blamed myself for the car crashing and being set on fire. They just crashed into a tree, there were no flames at first but a minute after they crashed it got set ablaze. There was no other person there, considering they were driving through the backroads. No houses were around so no one could help them. I've constantly blamed myself for my parent's death. Thinking that maybe I was just so mad at them, that I didn't even realize that I set the car on fire. I never uttered a spell, it just sort of happened." I wiped my tears away using the back of my hand as I quickly tried to compose myself.

Reggie grabbed my right hand and brought it towards him. This grabbed my attention, all while tears continued to fall. My (e/c) eyes stared into his green ones, neither of us said a word for a few minutes. He suddenly pulled me towards him, engulfing me in a tight hug. The dark haired bassist finally spoke after a minute or two, saying the one thing I have needed to hear for a very long time.

"It's okay. It wasn't your fault. You didn't know what you were doing. It was an accident."

My arms wrapped around him as I dug my face into his chest, sobs wracked my body. The giant secret that I have been carrying with me has finally seen the light of day, and I can feel the heaviness in my chest grow a bit lighter with each passing minute. After a few minutes, I felt a calmness slowly wash over me. This was the affect of the soulmate bond, one touch from Reggie and it could put me at ease. I closed my eyes, wanting to stay as close as I could to him forever. I felt at peace in Reggie's arms, the two of us sat in a comfortable silence, both holding onto each other, afraid of letting go.

"(Y/n)."

I hummed and lifted my head up to look at him, his green eyes were red and watery, as if my emotions somehow triggered his own. He sniffled before continuing "I want you to know that I'm here for you. No matter what. You can tell me anything." I nodded my head in response and sent him a small smile "Thank you Reggie. You can tell me anything too. I might seem intimidating but I promise I'm a good secret keeper." He chuckled in response to my statement and I let out a little chuckle of my own.

"I am well aware. And this is probably a terrible time to say this... but can we please talk about what the hell is going on between us?"

This caused me to hold my breath for a second or two as I processed Reggie's words. My first thoughts being 'why did he have to bring this up?' And 'Why couldn't he stay oblivious to things?' But of course I knew that at some point he would catch on. The pull towards him gets stronger each time I'm with him and I have no doubt that Reggie is feeling it to. I wanted to tell him everything, explain to him the bond that we share and how it would work. My mind started to drift, heart racing as I imagined what our first kiss could look like. Quickly shaking the image out of my head I reminded myself that if I let things happen, then I'll only be holding him back from crossing over.

I have to make him believe that there is nothing between us.

Pulling myself away from Reggie, I was quick to ask "What to you mean? There is nothing going on between us Reggie." My brows furrowed at him as he tried to reach back out for me, but stopped himself as he heard my words. I moved away from him to put some distance between the two of us as a determined look crossed his face "you really don't feel that? The pull. Every time I'm near you I just want to be as close as I can. Whenever I hear your voice I just want to pull you close to me and kiss you." At this point Reggie was on his feet, pacing back and fourth, tugging on some of his hair in either frustration or desperation I couldn't figure out which it was.

"I want you so badly that it drives me insane and I can't understand why."

I stood up as he turned towards me, his hands now sat at his sides, clenching and unclenching, I didn't know what was running through his head as he walked over to me. I froze, feeling my heart beating rapidly within my chest with each step he took. "And you're telling me..." the dark haired bassist stopped in front of me, placing a hand gently on my right cheek he continued "that you don't feel anything at all?" Wrapping his free arm around my waist, he proceeded to pull me against him, causing me to let out a small gasp in surprise.

"This isn't normal. So it can't just be me."

Reggie leaned his forehead against my own, as I closed my eyes, reveling in the feeling of being in his arms. The dark haired bassists lips brushed over my own, causing me to quickly come back to my senses "No!" I yelled while pushing him away from me. Reggie stumbled backwards, but was quick to catch his stance a surprised look sat on his face as I started yelling "Reggie there is nothing going on between us! We are just friends! That's it! And you are going to have to accept that!" Reggie stared at me like a dog who just got scolded, he seemed at a loss for words, opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water as he tried to find the words he was looking for.

When suddenly he just up and vanished.

That was it.

No goodbye, no apology for coming onto me, just silence.

After Reggie left, I felt myself collapse on the floor grabbing my chest as pain coursed through it. This was worse than any pain I've ever experienced. Even worse than the stamp that Caleb put on my wrist and is currently trying to kill me with. Worse than the pain I felt when I killed my parents. This was an emotional and physical pain that ran so deep, I wasn't sure I'd be able to fix it. It felt like my heart was physically breaking in half, I started screaming in agony, while gripping my chest with one hand and hitting my other fist against the floor, as if trying to redirect the pain somewhere else.

I noticed Arius in front of me, he looked like a blurry black blob as I had unknowingly started crying. I could hear his voice echoing in my head, but I didn't know what he was saying. Eventually he settled for curling up at my side and went quiet. I don't know how long I was like that, could've been seconds, maybe even minutes, all I know is that once the pain finally stopped, I passed out from exhaustion and didn't awake until the next morning when my alarm went off for school.

Prev // Next

Taglist:

@caosfanblr

@angelxx7

@chelseyyouraverageluigi

@pyr0-x

(Feel free to let me know if you’d like to be added to the Taglist!)

[surik-i]

One and Only - L. Heeseung

‒ pairings :: lee heeseung x fem!oc

‒ genre :: fluff, romance

‒ warnings :: none

‒ word count :: 1.8k

‒ synopsis :: heeseung and daiyu were one of korea's famous idol couples until their life schedules drew them apart. it's now been a year since their breakup and something unexpected happens.

‒ songs recommended :: Night We Met by Lord Huron + Please Never Fall In Love Again by Ollie MN + When She Loved Me (slowed) by Sarah McLachlan

“One, Two, Three, Hello everyone! I’m Cai Daiyu and this is-” Her eyes beamed happily, turning her attention to the man beside her. “Heeseung of Enhypen!” Heeseung replied as the two waved to the camera, creating a little heart. Two idols, South Korea’s most loved couple, stood in front of  Music Bank as the MCs for the show. To the camera, they were the perfect couple, with no flaws, and for a while, they were just that. They had everything you could ever look for in a relationship, the communication skills, the love that fired, they’ve even countless times met each other's parents. Everyone in Korea did think they would get married, but even if moments seemed happy, they were not all beautiful.

  “I feel our relationship is not working out for us both. Busy schedules and you heading on your world tour, it’s become harder and harder to see each other,” Daiyu now spoke as she looked sadly up at Heeseung. Her heart was shattering every second as she knew what had to be done about their relationship. He was her whole world, but that world had now begun to split apart from one another as they drifted out of the Milkyway. She tried to keep her composure steady, not break down so quickly. It hurt, it really did. They’d been together since 2020 and now it seemed that they both rose in popularity and couldn’t keep holding one another’s hand. As much as they tried to hold it, there was a force that pushed their hands down.

“I understand,” Heeseung replied sadly, understanding what the two had to do. Those two years were the best for him and now they were only memories. He wanted to hold her close to him, one more time, one more day, one more year before she completely left him. He could not imagine a day without her, but now he had to make the decision of letting her go. With the final works of goodbye, their lips met one another in a final longing kiss, one neither wanted to pull away from, afraid of the goodbye. The feeling of one another’s warmth grew cold, and with one last admiration, they went their separate ways. 

Cai Daiyu went back to her hometown in China, handling more of her idol career under the sub-entertainment label of her one back in South Korea. Heeseung continued life in South Korea, having small interviews from time to time where he had to let the media be reminded that they broke up on good terms and that they just could not make ends meets. No matter how many times Daiyu was brought up in the conversation and how many times he pretended as he had moved on, nobody compared to her and he still found himself crying at night to missing her touch and wanting nothing more than to just hold her throughout the night. He blames himself, telling himself that he should have just told her to stay one more night, one more night for him to make things right. Heeseung missed her to death, his heart was in pain and aching for her, only her.

Daiyu sat at her desk, removing her makeup for the night as she did her final stream for the day. She was answering a few fans' questions, the sounds of soft lo-fi music in the background. She looked at one comment catching her eye almost instantly. “Post a selfie if you miss Heeseung.” She thought read it, letting out a quiet hum before clearing her throat. “Thank you all for coming to my live, I’ll talk to you all again tomorrow. Bye my lovelies!” She smiled softly, waving goodbye to the camera before ending the live stream. Once the screen showed the live ended, she slouched back in her chair, a sigh escaping her lips.

Had it really been a year since they ended everything? She missed him so much still, but she could never find herself to admit it. She missed him so much, no matter what, he was her one and only who made her feel like she was always on cloud nine. She wanted more than anything to go back to how they were. She missed him all too much. Why was she the one still crying over him? From all the interviews she’s seen of him, it looked like he seemed so happy doing what he loved. She wanted him so badly, but he was no longer hers and that was the end of the story. “Could we ever really go back to how we were before?” She questioned herself with a small snicker. The breakup seemed to shock the whole world, even her parents who yelled at her for ending it. They all knew he was the only one she needed and yet, she let him go because she got so scared of the future, the future of growth. Why did she do that to him? After everything they went through, she was so quick to run away. Was he taken again? In a secret relationship? She wasn’t so sure, all the scandals of dating seemed to be completely all false, and yet she feared one day those false ones would be true about him.

Getting up from the chair, she decided to take one more selfie for the night, laying in bed and soon snapping the picture before posting it with the caption, ‘Heading to bed now, see you all at the fan meet tomorrow!’ Once the photo she put her phone down, but with all too quickly, her phone buzzed and her heart seemed to start racing all over again. She was amazed, maybe even shocked of who was texting her at this our. It was no other than Lee Heeseung, the one man she had been missing for a whole year now, he was texting her. 

( Heeseung ) I missed you too

Daiyu quickly rose up from her bed, her eyes were widened. No way was he actually the one who commented that. This could not actually be happening, she had to be dreaming, something. There had to be some other explanation to this and not him actually missing her as much as she was. After all, he looked so happy, there could be no way that he loved her still. She decided thought o reply back, playing the dumb card on him.

( Daiyu ) When did I say I missed you?

( Heeseung ) Don’t try to act cute, I know that you miss me too

( Daiyu ) Too bad, I’m all the way back in China, don’t think it will work out

( Heeseung ) I… I can fly to China….?

( Daiyu ) You’re not busy?

( Heeseung ) My work can wait just to see you :3

( Daiyu ) You sure?

( Heeseung ) I’m sure

(Heeseung ) You know how much I missed you

( Daiyu ) Then I guess I’ll see you tomorrow <3

She turned her phone off, screaming into her pillow happily. Daiyu was kicking her feet, that fluttery feeling in her heart returning to her. She was going to see Heeseung again, the one she forever wanted to stay with. What would they even talk about? Was he maybe wanting to get back together? So many questions ran through her head as she was excited to see him again. Lee Heeseung, her one and only man, the one guy who was capable to sweep her off her feet. She couldn’t be anymore happier.

The next day arrived as Heeseung arrived in China, waiting patiently for Daiyu. He wore a black cap and black mask, alongside a black leather jacket, white t-shirt, black loose pants, and some black high-heeled boots. He seemed to fiddle with his hands nervously, wondering how this meeting would go and if the two could maybe start again. He wanted to, more than anything was to be with her. With all the countless restless nights he’s had without her, he wanted more than anything to wake up in the morning with her by his side. He didn’t want any more of the nightmares that followed without her by him.

Daiyu slowly made her way to the airport, her bodyguards by her side as she walked, scanning the area for Heeseung. She wore a black shirt with a semi-turtleneck, black high-waisted shorts, a white lapel coat, and black knee-high boots. She also wore a white mask. Lifting her head up, she finally found his standing figure, a wide grin forming behind her mask and before she knew it, she was running up to him, jumping into his arms for a loving hug. “I’ve missed you.” She finally confessed, tears falling down.

“I’ve missed you too, my one and only,” Heeseung hugged her tightly, but his eyes filled with tears. He kept blinking, he was happy to finally see her again, but at the same time, he was crying. It had been soon long and now, he had her in his arms. He could finally hug her again just like he wanted to. His head now rested on her shoulder, pulling him as close as he could, not daring to let her go. 

“I wanna give us a second chance,” She admitted, the tears continuing to flow down her cheeks as she looked up at him. She needed him more than anything in her life, she couldn’t to lose him again. This was the man she dreamed of every day and now she was hugging him again. She felt so stupid for breaking up with him and now she could finally say she wanted to be with him again. She wanted the old relationship back and she hoped that he would forgive her for ever doubting them.

“S-second chance….?” He seemed stunned by her asking him this. He wasn’t expecting her to just come right out and confess, but yet again he wanted to hear those words from her. This had to be a dream, but yet it wasn’t. He was actually hugging her and the both were just crying now. All those feelings they had for each other before, it was still there, they still loved one another even in times of not being together. Forever and always, Daiyu was waiting for him, just like he was waiting for her. 

“I don’t ever want to lose you again,” Daiyu now slid her mask down, looking him in the eyes and showing him she was ready to take that leap in coming back to him, that she was serious about this relationship with him.

“I don’t want to lose you again, let’s try again. Let’s start dating again,” And with that, Heeseung pulled his own mask down, pulling Daiyu closer to him as he pulled her into a sweet and loving kiss. He missed this, he missed her, and now he had her again, He had the love of his life. After a year apart, they could finally be together again. May the moons and stars align, for now, and ever, they were each other’s one and only….

[purplebass]

True Love Stories Never Have Endings

A belated birthday gift for @emmcarstairs 💜 I tried to put your most favorite ships together in a fan fiction, I hope you like it!

London, Spring 2015

Emma sat on the new parquet of the living room at Blackthorn Hall, sifting through a couple of cream-colored cardboard boxes. She and Julian found them in a closet in the only part of the house that they hadn’t renovated yet, the one dating from the 60’s. Emma wasn’t sure why they’d left that one for last. Perhaps Julian had foresighted that they’d find something valuable in there.

“There are a lot of personal belongings in this wing,” she noticed when they started checking the cupboards and the drawers. “I wonder who lived here? Do you have any idea?”

“I really don’t,” Julian shrugged. “Perhaps a Blackthorn?” he offered, but he thought he would have known. 

“Could your father and uncle might’ve lived here?” Emma wondered, but Julian quickly shook his head. She went back to her box, and found a tiny one with gray stripes on it. Inside, there were a bunch of black and white photographs with the name of the person pictured and the date on the back. In most of the photos there were little kids, three boys and a girl. They looked happy, and they seemed familiar even though they lived a century earlier. “Teddy, Kitty, Willy, Robby,” Emma said out loud, “they were Blackthorns.”

“Blackthorns who named all their children with names ending in -y,” Julian came closer to look at the photos. “I guess it’s a family tradition to follow a theme,” he laughed, thinking about his own family. “Perhaps they inspired the next generations.” He continued his search until he found a box made of wood in one of the drawers of the closet. Some of the blue velvet covering it was coming off, but it was still in good condition. There was a golden inscription on the top, with the Blackthorn family symbol underneath. “L&J, Spring 1908. True Love Stories Never Have Endings.” 

“Wow, this looks old. My parents used to have one too, it belonged to my grandma,” Emma said, suddenly interested in what Julian was looking at. “Who are L&J?”

“Blackthorns?” Julian offered with a shrug, pointing to the circle of thorns on the velvet. “I believe it was them,” he continued after opening the box, where he found a few pictures. The couple pictured could’ve been around their age. “It must have been their wedding day, considering the poses. The girl has a bouquet and this looks like wedding attire, I don’t know,” he showed it to Emma. 

“Lucie and Jesse Blackthorn, May 13, 1908. Our wedding day. You’re right,” Emma read aloud. “There’s even a tiny heart drawn here, how cute,” she smiled. “They must’ve been your great-great-great grandparents, I guess? They look a lot like you and your siblings” she observed the picture better. “I think I remember this guy from one of the portraits at the Los Angeles Institute.”

“I believe he is Rupert’s son,” he said. “They look so much like Livvy and Ty when they were little children,” Julian continued with a faraway expression, pointing a finger on the locket around the girl’s neck. It was the same one Julian had given to Livvy and that now Ty kept. “They must be the reason the Blackthorn family didn’t cease to exist after Rupert died.”

“Indeed,” Emma covered his hand with hers. “And that you’re here, with me, today,” she said lovingly, pressing her lips on his. “So thank you, Lucie and Jesse Blackthorn?”

“We should keep these photographs and memories in a safe place,” Julian nodded. “These are family heirlooms, like the locket,” he showed the two rings he found inside to Emma. They had the same inscription as the top of the box. “I don’t want them to be lost in this ruckus.”

“Smart idea,” she agreed. “Let’s see what more we have here, then.”

London, Spring 1908

It was the day before her much awaited marriage with Jesse, and Lucie was too busy worrying about her vows. Not only the vows she would exchange during the ceremony, but also the ones she would say in front of the guests before the wedding feast. She knew she could’ve just thanked everyone for being there, but as usual, she’d been verbose, as Cordelia had defined her speech. “You need to be more concise, the guests would be starving once you’re done,” she’d suggested. She was probably right, but she still couldn’t help but write half a page of words of affection and gratitude towards her future husband and her guests. They would understand. 

Jesse couldn’t even sit down to eat dinner the evening before the wedding. He asked his aunt Cecily and uncle Gabriel to spend the night at their house in Bedford street. “It’s tradition that I am not to see Lucie the day before the wedding,” he explained. “Dear, traditions are made to be broken,” Cecily said. “You’re just like your uncle Gabriel,” she laughed, and told him that they had been in a similar living arrangement before they got married, and he had done the same. “I went to my brother’s house the night before our wedding,” uncle Gabriel started, and they spent the remainder of the time talking about past memories, trying to ease Jesse’s anxiety. 

Neither he or Lucie could sleep that night, but at least it was all a blur after preparations started early in the morning. Lucie could barely remember her mother and her friends helping her with her hair and dress, before she set for the sanctuary. Nor Jesse could recall the embarrassment he felt realizing his palms were sweaty when he caught sight of the girl he loved walking down the aisle. Lucie didn’t forget her vows, while Jesse had a brief lapse of memory but he quickly remembered the words he had to say. “I’m sorry for earlier,” he told Lucie when they were taking pictures after the ceremony ended. “I was totally dumbstruck,” he confessed shyly.

“No need to apologize,” she muttered with a grin, still blushing. “We made it through, that’s what matters the most, right? ”

“No talking until we take at least five pictures,” said the vampire photographer her father hired. “It takes a few minutes to process these, so stay still and smile for the camera! Don’t you want your descendants to remember you?”

“Of course we do,” Jesse told the guy with a pleasant smile, “but let me kiss my wife before we start.” He glanced at Lucie, and she waited expectantly to be kissed. 

The vampire had to cough to make them stop. “Shadowhunters in love, the things I abhor the most,” he muttered, “I wonder why I accepted this job!”

“To make a living?” Lucie chanced, but the vampire rolled his eyes. “I apologize, that was bad. Please, we’ll behave. We’re eager to have our pictures taken,” she said excitedly. 

The vampire shook his head and muttered how Shadowhunter's sense of humor was of poor taste, but he still took their wedding pictures, preserving their memory to this day.

So, thank you Emma and Julian for remembering your Blackthorn ancestors.

[rpf-bat]

❝  i know i can’t protect you from everything,  but i wish you’d let me protect you from the things i can control.  ❞ Joel/Tommi pls 🖤

Joel should’ve known something was up, when Tommi asked him to visit Oulu.

Joel had agreed, of course. Now that the tour was over with, he had fuck-all to do at home in Helsinki, and he was bored out of his skull. So, why not visit his friend?

It’s not like I’m traveling six hundred kilometers just for a guy, he’d told himself, during the long train ride. My parents also live in Oulu. I can visit them while I’m in town, too.

But, when he’d arrived at the train station, Tommi had been standing there, holding a bouquet of flowers.

He had awkwardly shoved the flowers into Joel’s hands. He hadn’t explained what they were for. He’d just grunted, “get in the car.”

….And so now Joel was in Tommi’s car.

“This isn’t the road to your place,” Joel noticed. He and Tommi had been friends since high school, so of course he knew the route extremely well.

“We’re not going to my place yet,” Tommi said vaguely, not taking his eyes off the road.

“Uh….where are we going, then?” Joel asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Dinner,” Tommi grunted.

“Oh…at the pub near our old practice studio?” Joel guessed.

“Nope,” Tommi shook his head, still refusing to look at Joel. “Istanbul.”

“That Turkish restaurant?” Joel blinked. “Dude, a steak there is like 45 euros. Why the fuck would we eat there?”

“We sold a lot of merch while we were on tour,” Tommi shrugged. “And I’ve been doing extra work at the hospital. We can afford it.”

“You’re acting like it’s a special occasion,” Joel said suspiciously. He sniffed the air, suddenly aware of a strange scent. “Tommi, are you wearing cologne?”

“….Maybe,” Tommi confessed. “Does it smell bad?”

“No,” Joel shook his head. “You smell…amazing, actually.”

Tommi smiled, for the first time since Joel had arrived.

People who didn’t know the drummer as well as Joel did, often called him grumpy. But when he did smile…oh, god. It lit up a room.

“Tommi,” Joel said softly, realization making his heart ache. “Why am I actually here?”

Tommi was quiet for a moment, as he parked the car outside the restaurant.

“I wanted to tell you after we got inside,” the bear-like man sighed. “I wanted to tell you after a nice dinner. But, you know me too well, Joel. My feelings might not have been obvious to most people. But lately….I’m sure it’s been obvious to you. I brought you here, because I wanted to tell you how I feel. The truth is, I lo….”

“Don’t say it,” Joel interrupted, putting a finger to Tommi’s lips. “Please don’t say it.”

Goddamnit. Tommi’s lips felt so soft, against his fingertip. He couldn’t help but imagine, how they would feel against his mouth.

Tommi’s eyes narrowed. He grabbed Joel’s wrist, and pushed his hand away from his face.

“Why aren’t you letting me talk?” he asked, looking hurt.

“You’re right,” Joel confessed. “I saw how you were looking at me, during this last tour. It’s not the way the rest of the guys look at me.”

“So, you already know how I feel?” Tommi realized, eyes wide. “Then, why won’t you let me say it out loud? I wanted to set a romantic scene. Make the perfect confession of…”

“Tommi, stop,” Joel interrupted again. “You don’t want to do this.”

“What do you mean, I don’t want to do it?” Tommi growled. “Joel…I’ve been wanting to say this to you, since I was sixteen years old.”

Joel’s jaw dropped. “You’ve…felt this way about me, for that long?”

“Of course I have,” Tommi said, sounding choked up. “Joel, I’ve always l…”

“Don’t you dare say it,” Joel stopped him again.

“Why? Because you don’t want to have to tell me to my face, that you’ll never feel the same way about me?”

“Tommi, no!” Joel cried. It was taking everything in his power, not to give into the impulse, to pull the larger man into his arms. “That’s not it at all.”

“Then, what is it?!” Tommi cried. “Why won’t you let me say the words, when you already know the truth?”

“Because you’ll regret it,” Joel said, his voice thick with tears. “Tommi, if I let you be with me, I would ruin your life. I’m a mess. I’m anxious and depressed all the time. I can never focus on anything important, because of my ADHD. I self medicate with alcohol and weed even though I know that’s not healthy for me. And…”

“And you think I don’t know all of those things already?” Tommi asked him, looking him in the eye. “Joel, we’ve been friends for a decade. You think your problems are news to me?”

“Then….why do you still want me?” Joel sobbed. “There’s no reason why you should. Can’t you see I’m trying to protect you?”

“Protect me?” Tommi repeated, incredulous. “From what?”

“From the unhappy life I know you would have, if I let you be mine!” Joel cried. “I know I can’t protect you from everything,  but I wish you’d let me protect you from the things I can control.”

“You can’t control how I feel,” Tommi insisted. “Joel, I love you. Even if you think you don’t deserve it.”

He pulled Joel into the tightest bear hug he could muster, and even when Joel tried to squirm away, he held him fast. Tommi’s shirt quickly became wet with Joel’s tears.

Joel’s voice was so muffled by the fabric, that Tommi almost missed those critical four words: “I love you too.”

[tailsfan]

Here is the prologue of my AU...

I'm still thinking of a name for the AU, but I will put a poll to figure out what I should name it, sincei have a bunch of ideas!

Anyways, let the story start!

~'0'~

"Come here you little two tailed brat!" a female adult fox mobian yelled l at the top of her voice.

The said 'two-tailed brat' peaked out behind the door of a closet...

The 'two tailed brat' was no other than a young fox, who was 2years old. He walked out of a tiny closet and looked at the older fox. The tiny fox approached the woman slowly and stared at her with wide cyan eyes, shaking like a leaf.

When the child came into full sight, so did his horrible appearance. The fox was definitely being starved as his ribs would have been in sight if not for his fur... Speaking of his fur, it was covered in a coat of dirt, making his originally golden yellow fur appear a dirty yellow colour... The young foxes ears was bent down and all across his arms and legs were sports tape that helped cover up the scars his no longer thick fur could.

"Y-yes, mother?" The fox said in a voice ever so quite and weak.

"For the umpteenth time, I am NOT your mom! Don't call me that!" The women yelled furiously.

"S-sorry M-mrs. P-prower..." the young fox meekly replied visibly flinching.

"Good, well, Amadeus will be coming here soon, and we want to talk to you about something..." The older fox, now known as Rosemary Prower said, hate seeping through her voice.

"O-okay..." the young kit said looking down. Even at such a young age, he knew whatever was going to happen wasn't going to be good.

The young kit stayed out of Rosemary's way only standing in the corner thinking about what his 'parents' wanted to talk to him about.

"I'm home honey!" a voice called as a man opened the door of the house.

The young fox kit stared at his biological father as though he was some kind of impossible-to-solve algebraic equation. His father was never that happy... What caused him to be so happy all of a sudden?

"Honey! Did you get the papers?" Rosemary asked her husband in an equally cheerful voice.

That's weird. They were never too happy. At least not in front of him.

"Yes I did," Amandeus said, pride clear in his voice.

Both Amandeus and Rosmary called the young kit over to the living room, the two of them sitting on the coach, and the kit remained standing.

"You see you little freak, today is our lucky day! We will finally get rid of the cause of our bad luck... You!" Amandeus said with a bright smile.

The 2 year old kit stared at them with confusion tilting his head to the side. Something was off.. really off...

"Here read this," Rosemary said handing the kit a piece of paper...

Upon seeing the paper the young kit's eyes widened...

His eyes layed on a certificate that said:

This certificate honors the Prower family full disownership of

Miles Prower

Miles' eyes widened... NO! This can't happen... Mr. And Mrs. Prower love him! They- they are his parents... they only sat they hate him, to raise him to not be a brat.... right?

Miles felt himself harshly pushed and within the matter of seconds he found himself face first on the floor.

"You better not come back again you little freak!" was the last thing he heard before the door of the house was closed.

Miles stared back at that was in his hand...

He was all alone...

No one wanted him...

It will always be that way...

He will always remain the two-tailed freak of Westside Island.

~'0'~

It hurts!

Everywhere!

Miles limped back to the cave where he stayed for the last 2 and a half years.

Miles regretted ever leaving his cave today. He regrets looking for food...

But he was just so hungry!

If only he was a little faster...

If only he took a right turn instead of a left...

If only...

No!

It is too late for that! They found him, and there is nothing he can do to change that...

When Miles reached his cave he fell onto, the thin blanket he used.

Warm tears fled his eyes as he remembered what happened today...

He was looking something to eat in the city...

They found him...

The bullies...

And he was too slow...

They hurt him...

Punched him in the eye, and broke his arm...

They told him, they should have broke his tails too, but he escaped...

In the end, Miles was still almost as hungry as he was when he first headed to town, as he only found the remaining of an apple...

But it was fine...

Miles will live...

He always did...

Miles rolled himself in his thin blanket, that barely served as a protector against the fall wind...

'Everything will be alright,' Miles thought, ' I will make it...'

~'0'~

The next day, Miles was back walking in the forest. His attention was at the fullest. He knew the rule for him around here...

It was get caught or escape...

Miles was in the middle of a deep thought of a book that he read the night before about planes, until he tripped on a bright green object.

Curious, Miles pulled out the object and found it to be the most beautiful emerald he has ever seen...

When he touched it he felt a rush of warmth run through him...

Miles dug the emerald out, thinking it was his lucky day...

Maybe he could sell the emerald to get food, or give it to his parents, so they can keep him again...

What Miles didn't know, was that that emerald was going to change his life forever...

~'0'~

So... that's the chapter! I hope you guys liked it! Like I said, I am still really new to this whole fanfiction thing, and I was writing this on my phone at night...

I hoped you guys enjoyed this, please let me know what your opinions of the chapter is, and whether I should continue the story or not...

Anyways, I think that is all...

Thanks for reading!

[finitevoid]

Sorry i was watching something with my mom and i had to check if you answered my ask. On her laptop of course.

sothe is THE orphan character in canon so no parents hes also in the system. Im starting to regret working a jrpg cast into this au the nunber just keeps adding up. sothe is a bad boy who is being kept from the specific group home micaiahs in because their case managers think theyre insane together. micaiah and sothe cannot show up to each others place but thats honestly normal its not like micaiah could bring in a guy that isnt sothe anyway (1984). But Especially that boy sothe. the staff know him well

Characters with parents positivity paragraph ~ Ike and mist still have their dad (for now..). Tormod was adopted by a laguz (Ethnic). Amy was adopted by beorc and stefan was assigned her branded cultural mentor by them. everyone thinks theyre insane for doing rhat. Stefan was the most authentic branded they could pick off the streets though so amy will learn about her people inshallah (she will learn nothing besides feeling gratitude (survivors guilt) for her privilege. also bad words). Two of these characters are canonical adoptees man what rhe fruk is happening in tellius can we not have a normal nuclear american family

ranulf lives in some weird commune type thing. A lot of laguz do. He has a sort of family in that and the govt doesnt meddle in laguz business any more than they have to

Elincias parents died like last week and shes scarily well adjusted. she lives with her uncle. She aftually doesnt go to brashear she goes to a private school off in shadyside but she hangs out in the Working Class Neighborhoods of the west end and southern hilltop because shes flipping awesome? Shes gotta learn and ikes her designated hood tour guide (one of his side hustles for a switch) except ike has no idea about anything that goes on outside of his house. Greil was not letting ike wander the streets like that. Now that greil deems him ready Ike learns along the way with elincia about Pittsburgh

TORMOD ADOPTED BY LAGUZ LO L he doesnt vibe with beorc Youknow. umm thats hilarious all the orderlies think sothe and micaiahs relationship has such a rancid aura that they try to separate them but sadly as is the tradition of melodramatic teenagers that only spurs them on to spend even more time together. micaiahs like Were gonna get married someday :) and all of the adults wince

laguz have communes? Do they still have monarchism

elincia LOL. elincia's parents died and shes like oh well :(. This will make it easier to apply to colleges i suppose. she and ike are going on a journey together <3 a journey through the hood. have you noticed they know like 1 million orphans who all live in group homes presumably in The Hood and instead of asking them they just explore by themselves. urban exploring? are they breaking into abandoned buildings or are they just eating food or somethng

[spectaculardistractions]

To José Rubia Barcia Mexico City, 5 April 1949 Dear Barcia, Your letter arrived yesterday and I’ve no choice but to celebrate your wonderful news with enormous congratulations by return post! Bear hugs for Evita and her ‘legal spouse’ on the soon-to-be happy arrival of the little one I’m already sure will be a boy. And – in all modesty! – I never get this kind of prediction wrong. You’ll see. I hope everything goes wonderfully well and that you’ll let me know the result. As soon as you send your article on Valle-Inclán I’ll pass it on to Larrea. As you know, Cuadernos Americanos’s policy is to publish content related to, or that contributes in some way to promoting the concept of ‘America’, so it would probably be a good idea, even if you just smuggle in a few lines, to relate your work to that aforementioned and well-worn notion. I’m saying this, because they may have turned down your first article because it was entirely objective and literary with no passing reference even to the dismal ‘civilization of corn’. Juan Larrea, America’s prophet and a first-rate heretic, puts all his tenacious fanaticism, which is no small thing, into guiding the journal in that direction. Send me the article soon, I will read it closely and can guarantee its publication if you adapt it loosely along those guidelines. I shall now sum up the last year and a half that I have spent completely inactive. Even at this time of cinematic crisis, I was determined not to direct any more stupid films. All my major projects – more than ten of them – failed miserably. It would be painful to recount the hard times I’ve had. In the end I signed a contract in February, which is what I’m living on now, to make one of my kind of films. It’s based entirely on Juvenile Court cases and on files from the Clínica de la conducta. The parts will be played by real Mexican children from the lumpen-proletariat, and I’m aiming to shoot it on location. I’m going to make sure it’s not like any film on this theme anywhere in the world. It will be more documentary and less literary. I was supposed to start in July, but because of the difficulties associated with the subject, we’re going to wait until October and make a Simenon film in the meantime, which actually looks quite interesting. I’m working for Ultramar and Águila Films (a Menasce-Dancigers joint venture). In short, business seems finally about to march ahead… with me leading. I’m still completely isolated from the parties, cabarets, etc. of the sordid little film world down here. My parties are always at friends’ houses, or better still my own. The guests: León Felipe, Larrea, Imaz, Moreno Villa, Mantecón and the occasional meeting and evening meal with Álvaro Custodio, the great film critic. I also see Gual and the Catalans from the Banco Comercial de la Propiedad, who are all cheerful and easy-going. And that’s the extent of my social life. What are your views on the state of the world? Perhaps better not even to broach a subject we could discuss for hours on end. And when will we be able to do that? I envy your university position and congratulate you on the Assistant Professor thing. I don’t know if it’s my age or just a longing for peace, but I’m strongly attracted to the idea of a fixed job, something like yours, that does not completely rule out doing other things. Still, I shall stay here, tethered to the hard bench of my Mexican film galley. Warm regards to the Rolfes. Why don’t they come to Mexico? And to Jay Leyda. Do you ever see him? I think I heard, or read rather, in one of your letters that you do. Very fond regards, to Evita’s parents first of all, and then to the rest of the clan, and to you both, the friendliest possible wishes from, L. Buñuel [PS] Dear Evita, I’m delighted to hear you’ll soon have a baby, but I hope it will be a girl because they are sweeter and better behaved. We are all fine here, but the boys prefer Los Angeles. We eat more chillies and tortillas than the Mexicans and I’m sure my tamales and enchiladas could now compete with your mother’s. Best wishes to your family and a big hug to you both from, Jeanne

Jo Evans & Breixo Viejo, Luis Buñuel: A Life in Letters

[rachelfoleyisntdead]

because @cydippida begged so sweetly~ I will tell yall my thoughts on Annette Birkin. Incoming LONG ASS POST, with a tl;dr at the bottom if you'd like to skip/skim.

Unwarranted level of hate. Literally misogyny in action. Half a dozen male characters have done worse--several female characters have done worse--in the series and she got crucified because... she's a mom. She had to make more difficult decisions than any other character in re2r, and there was never any 'right answer' for her. Mega doomed by the narrative. Death was the only ending for her and people still act like she was the devil.

I have said this before on my other blog, but there is no right answer to the question "do you save one life or do you save multiple lives", and that was the question Annette faced. Annette, during re2r, was not running around doing evil shit. She was trying to stop her husband from infecting the entire world with the G-virus, and she died for her efforts. BUT because she is a mother, the expected choice (the 'correct answer' to the question) was for her to drop everything and ensure Sherry's survival at all costs.

People act like she abandoned Sherry, when she... actually didn't??? She gives Sherry very specific instructions (call the police if you need help--the police that Annette personally has in her pocket) which was not terrible advice. The majority of the police were actually good people fighting to protect citizens, and going to the police station did ultimately protect Sherry. From Annette's perspective, she is the only one that can stop her husband from infecting everyone and everything, including Sherry.

Was her response to Sherry being implanted great? No. Not at all. And I'll give people that. It was super cold but Annette was trying to stop not only William from infecting the entire world, but Ada (and unwittingly Leon) from stealing the remaining sample of the G-virus. She was under extreme pressure that was only getting worse. Claire showing up to call her a terrible mother and then proceed to save the day is like... so shitty, which I blame the writers for. I love Claire as a character 9 out 10 times.

Annette saved Claire's life, and gets zero credit for that. She even saved Sherry's, to some extent. Again, zero credit. She also gets all of the blame for Sherry being 'ignored' while her parents work when she has TWO parents. It does not help that Capcom reinforces in the ending and subsequent games that Claire is a superior surrogate mother/sister character despite her canonically leaving Sherry in the hands of someone just as deranged as her biological father (Derek Simmons). L M A O

You can directly compare Annette to both William Birkin (her own husband) and Luis Serra and see the difference in how she is treated, both by the narrative and the fandom. And I HATE that resistance played into the Annette hate by making her a Mastermind.

William (an even worse parent to Sherry and a literal villain who did multiple terrible things before re2 AND literally caused 2 outbreaks) and Luis (who, like Annette, was also an Umbrella researcher [but then went on to... make more fucking BOWs with Los Illuminados and work with Ada and Wesker to obtain Las Plagas for further BOW development] and also ultimately died for his small acts of redemption) get praised and woobyfied like crazy because they are attractive men that can be shipped with other attractive men.

tl;dr: Annette and Luis have the exact same character arc but because Annette is a mother who didn't want to let the world burn for her child, she got vilified more than any other character in the series and Capcom encouraged it.

I love Annette but Capcom and the fans did her so dirty in such a bad way.

not a big fan of how women in re are not allowed to be morally grey and well-liked, while the men get to be every shade of morality AND popular, women have to have perfect morals and correct judgment on everything to be acceptable

[sn0wbat]

oh heck, more trollsona sprites?? well that’s cool i guess

also, i read up on a bunch of space player class speculation, and it seems like i’m just an immature maid of space. i dunno if it’s true at all, but it seems pretty appropriate for now. 

[forjongseong]

tusa // jay (ENHYPEN)

pairing: secretary!jay x CEO!fem!reader

genre: office!au, angst, fluff, smut (in the end) // warning: older reader; Jay calls reader “Boss”; making out; fingering; oral sex; unprotected sex; creampie; cockwarming // wc: ~11.3k

previous chapters:

part 1 - carmesí part 2 - mi reina part 3 - millones part 3.5 - hasta los dientes part 4 - vente conmigo

next chapters:

click here for the masterlist

summary: you try cruising through your life in the absence of Jay, and although you seem to be doing well, you realize you need him more than you thought.

author’s note: SURPRISE! decided to post this NOW because of the Denimz en-log that just got uploaded I just wanna prolong the Jay fever we all have right now.

this is part 5 of the secretary!Jay series, make sure you have read all the parts above! writing this part was HEARTBREAKING for me because I wasn't used to writing scenes of this couple SEPARATELY. I truly hope this part makes up for the harsh ending in part 4!

the title for this part is based on the hit song by Karol G, in which “Tusa” is Colombian slang for heartache.

taglist: @duolingofanaccount @jaylaxies @hee-pster @jaysbiceps @thots4hee @axartia @spxrklyfairydust @neo-weareone (send an ask if you want to be tagged)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jay was quickly chopping the onions that were prepared since half an hour ago. He had one AirPod in his ear, his loose shirt draping lazily on his body, and a pair of his comfiest slacks. His mother glanced at him for a second while she was stirring broth in a giant pot.

“Slow down,” Jay’s mother calmly called at him. “You’re gonna hurt yourself.”

All the chopping was done anyway, and Jay did manage to keep himself free from injuries despite working in unnecessary speed. He was used to the fast-paced environment in the office, and he did not know that the habit would merge into his daily life.

It had been just over a week since Jay decided to take a break from work. At first he filed for five days PTO, but then you kept getting notices from Hwiyoung, saying that Jay keeps on extending his leave. You wondered if he was trying to get himself fired, and you seriously considered to do so, but you also did not want to get your personal relationship cloud your decisions at work.

Jay’s safe space was his parents’ house. They lived on the outskirts of the city, away from the traffic and the crowd, and Jay had always envied them for living in such a peaceful environment. They were able to get away with it because Jay’s father had his own company, though not as grand as yours, but this also means that Jay’s parents have the privacy as well as the freedom of working from home.

Having done prepping all the ingredients, Jay cleaned up after himself and made sure the kitchen was spotless even before all the food were served. While he was wiping down the counter, his father walked in, his glasses perched comfortable on the bridge of his nose.

“We got company,” Jay’s father announced, clearing his throat.

Jay frowned at the statement while Jay’s mother quickly shooed him out of the kitchen to go see whatever his father meant by ‘company’. Wiping his hands with a paper towel, Jay strutted to the front door, peeking through the window. He then rushed to open the door, walking out with the inside slippers still on his feet.

His heart was beating unusually fast the moment he spotted your Benz. When Mr. Lee came out of the car, his eyes searched for any other figure, but no one else was inside.

“Park,” Mr. Lee greeted Jay, unsmiling.

“Mr. Lee,” Jay cleared his throat. “I--”

“Listen, Park,” Mr. Lee moved to the trunk of the car to open it. “I’m only here because my family lives nearby, and because Miss L/N asked me very nicely to run an errand for her.”

Jay approached the car and saw that there were different kinds of boxes filled with a variety of food. Fancy fruits, a cooler filled with the best cuts of beef, dry snacks, and everything else. Jay then remembered it was that time of the year when you would send out parcels to each of your employees. Jay knew exactly the budget allocated for each staff, and judging from the stash in front of him, the package for him and his family was way over the budget.

He then remembered how one time, after having dinner with his parents, he went on to tell you how excited his parents were when they went on vacation around the country. He mentioned how his mother was a huge fan of fruits, that there is no fruit she would not eat, while his father had a soft spot for crackers and other dry snacks. Usually you would stick to the same menu and choice of food for every employee, so he wondered why this year you were doing something different. Is this a goodbye set?

“Well don’t just stand there, help me carry all of this in,” Mr. Lee seemed annoyed at how Jay just completely zoned out. Jay came back to his senses and managed to help Mr. Lee unload everything under five minutes.

“Is she doing well?” Jay hesitated as he finally decided to ask Mr. Lee the question of the day.

Mr. Lee smiled. “She’s always doing well. She was fine before you got hired, she’s fine during, and she’s doing well even now. What makes you think differently?”

The tone of Mr. Lee’s speech was soft and calm, much like his demeanor, so why did Jay feel like it stung?

“I’m sorry, it’s just,” Jay looked back to his house as he puts both his hands inside his pockets. “My parents kinda need me right now.”

“Of course,” Mr. Lee nodded. “Family first.”

Jay had no idea how much Mr. Lee knew about what was happening between you and him. He silently hoped that you did not tell him a thing, but Mr. Lee had been acting slightly colder than usual so Jay could not help but think that he must have known.

“I’m being rude. Would you like to come in?” Jay snapped out of it and looked at Mr. Lee hopefully. He wanted to ask more about you since he was not able to find the courage to text you first after he stormed out of your house. Every single communication between the two of you was done through Hwiyoung.

Mr. Lee shook his head politely. “Like I said, Park, I’m just running errands.”

Jay nodded and scratched the back of his head awkwardly, walking Mr. Lee back to the car.

“Will I be seeing you soon?” He asked, looking right into Jay’s eyes.

Jay was honestly unable to come up with a valid answer. He just stared back at Mr. Lee with his mouth slightly agape.

Mr. Lee chuckled and shook his head. “I’ll just ask the Boss.”

After watching your Benz disappear at the end of the road, Jay let out a heavy sigh and turned around to go back inside the house. He saw his parents both standing by the door, in awe of all the food and parcels sitting on their porch.

“Is there an explanation for this?” His mother asked, genuinely curious.

Jay realized that his parents had to know sooner or later, so he took a deep breath before walking towards the front door, his brain searching for the right words to retell the whole thing.

---

Your other car, a black Palisade, pulled up at the lobby of a supermarket that you frequent. Heeseung glanced at you through the rear-view mirror before unlocking the doors.

“I’ll pick you up here in about two hours?” He asked. Weekend grocery runs have been a thing for a while, and since Heeseung officially became your second driver, you’ve been doing more errands on the weekend so not to tire Mr. Lee during the rest of the week.

“Actually,” you locked your phone and leaned in towards the front seat. “Let’s just park and shop together. Would you mind? I don’t feel like pushing the trolley alone.”

Heeseung figured that usually Jay would get your groceries or you would do it together with him, so he was in no position to turn down your request. After a split second of frowning, Heeseung quickly agreed and within minutes the two of you were walking down the aisles of the supermarket.

Every time you picked an item and neatly placed them in the trolley, Heeseung would observe closely. He started making a mental note of everything you were buying that day—from instant ramyeon to boxes of tea, scented candles, and even period products.

“Is everything okay with you and Jay?” Heeseung asked as he started pushing the trolley to follow you to the next aisle.

You chuckled as you browsed the shelf in front of you. “I thought you’d never ask.”

“Wanna talk about it?” Heeseung leaned comfortably on the handle of the cart, his eyes wide open looking up at you hopefully.

“Do I have a choice or are you going to keep asking me until I tell you anyway?” You placed a jar of jam near the corner of the trolley. Heeseung eyed the countless products that were starting to fill up.

“Come on, isn’t that the reason why you wanted me to come along instead of wait around?”

Heeseung had been driving you around for a while and he surprisingly was almost just as good a driver as Mr. Lee. The difference is, since Heeseung is younger, you found it more comfortable to open up to him. Especially since he’s friends with Jay. Each day you spend with Heeseung, you learn something new about Jay.

You ended up telling Heeseung everything, after making him swear that he wouldn’t tell Jay. Throughout the whole process, you avoided eye contact and only glanced at Heeseung whenever necessary, as you were determined to focus on your grocery shopping. You misspoke a couple of words and almost bought the wrong type of pasta sauce because you were so passionate in telling your story. Heeseung just chuckled and nodded all the way, holding his eye contact to let you know he was intently listening.

“So it’s technically my fault,” you said as you wrapped up. “Right?”

“Uhm, I would say,” Heeseung stood up straight as he looked up to think. “It’s not not your fault.”

“So what do you think?” You asked Heeseung, standing with your arms crossed in front of you and for some reason, Heeseung just laughed softly.

“Look, I really don’t wanna put words in his mouth,” Heeseung raised a hand, trying to show his intentions. “But hearing everything from you, and knowing how Jay is, I think I get why he acted that way.”

You tilted your head. “So you know he’s a future person?”

Heeseung nodded. You turned around to continue to walk and Heeseung scrambled to get the trolley and follow you.

“Relationships aren’t like business, Heeseung. Every decision I make for my company is carefully calculated, we have the resources to predict outcomes and prepare ourselves for the future. But when it comes to relationships…”

You paused to look back at Heeseung, making sure he was following. He blinked in anticipation, waiting for you to continue.

“I can’t predict shit. Plans go wrong. People change.”

“Have you told him that? I mean what you’re telling me right now,” Heeseung took a couple steps ahead to catch up with you.

You shrugged. “Pretty sure it’s gonna end up in another argument and I don’t want to have a conversation with him where he raises his voice.”

“Fair,” Heeseung responded calmly. “So your plan is to just, keep doing this, maintain the relationship?”

“If I can, yeah.”

“But you know that if you keep doing this, whatever this is, it will still take you into the future, right?”

You did not answer Heeseung’s question because you figured it was rhetorical, but the next question made you think even harder.

“Do you see him in your future?”

Your mind went blank. You tried picturing Jay, but having not seen him for so long, you were struggling. Even with the work in the office, which had mostly been managed by Hwiyoung since Jay took his leave, you were beginning to get used to the rhythm and his absence. Did you not need Jay anymore?

“It’s not about him,” you finally squeaked an answer. “I’m concerned about me.”

“What are you afraid of?”

You were now beginning to regret asking Heeseung to accompany you shop. He was now acting like a therapist, and the way the questions he asked you were the exact questions you had asked yourself before made you feel goosebumps. Heeseung was a lot like you.

Heeseung noticed that your face started to get tense, so he cleared his throat and straightened his pose. “I’m sorry. You don’t need to answer that. Let’s just continue shopping.”

Through the rest of the day Heeseung tried his best to distract you and crack jokes, even telling stories about Jake and Sunghoon’s antics for the past couple of days. You were exhausted by the time you arrived at your place. Heeseung helped you carry all your groceries and when he was done storing things, he excused himself.

After changing your clothes, you decided to lie down in your bedroom, mindlessly scrolling on your phone. You rolled over to the right side of your bed, where Jay used to sleep. You caught a whiff of his scent from the pillowcase and you froze. Feelings start to overwhelm you and in just seconds, your mood tanked. You tried distracting yourself by scrolling your social media, but your vision started to get blurry from the tears.

Eventually you gave in, letting your tears fall sideways to your pillow, softly sobbing as you closed your eyes.

---

The second week without Jay went by in an instant. Making Hwiyoung your second assistant was the second best decision you have ever made, even though you made it way before Jay left. Hwiyoung was just as capable as Jay in terms of juggling different projects, keeping up with your schedule, and running the little errands in your life.

You were going through a document in your hands, the thick pages feeling heavy in your hands. When you tried turning the pages, you got a paper cut from how swift your finger moved at the edges, and you quickly dropped the document with a loud thud on your desk. You hissed as you examined your middle finger, seeing a thin line of bright red beginning to appear on your skin.

Your first aid kit was located in your bathroom, so you moved around your desk to rush there. On your way, though, you bumped your knee on the side of your desk, again making a loud thud.

“Fuck!”

A couple of seconds later, Hwiyoung peeked from outside your door.

“Miss?” He called for you, sounding worried. He saw you wincing and rubbing your knee with one hand, while your other hand was held up awkwardly to not make the paper cut worse.

For a while Hwiyoung just stood there frozen, not knowing what to do since he had never seen you in a position where you were hurt.

“First aid, bathroom,” you said in a low voice as you staggered to the sofa in the center of the office. Hwiyoung turned his heel and went to your bathroom to retrieve the kit.

He then settled it right in front of you and stood back up, observing you. You knew he was being respectful and just waiting for your instructions, but at that moment you missed Jay’s instant reflexes and how quick he would react to whenever you needed assistance, no matter what kind.

You rummaged the box with one free hand and noticed that the particular ointment for bruises were not in the kit. You sighed and looked up at Hwiyoung. Instantly, he stood up straight, ready to listen. You picked up a post-it and quickly wrote the name of the ointment and gave it to Hwiyoung.

“Get this and a couple of band-aids while you’re at it,” you ordered. Hwiyoung nodded, but then it looked like he was hesitating. “What?”

“Park just texted me and said he’s extending his leave for another week,” Hwiyoung informed you, almost sounding like it was his fault.

“Okay,” you responded fairly quickly. “You’re still able to cover for him, right? You’re doing a great job so far.”

Hwiyoung smiled shyly, his gummy smile beaming through. “Thanks, Miss. I’ll do my best.”

You nodded and tilted your chin towards the door, signaling him to go run the errand you just asked for. You then continued to soothe yourself by rubbing your knee, and while looking down your eyes fall to your feet. You were wearing the Chanel slingbacks Jay got for you, and you noticed they were getting dirty. You made a mental note to take it to the shoe spa for a second time and to not wear it again after it is cleaned.

---

Ever since Jay told his parents about his relationship with you, he had been spending more time outside of home. His parents had opposing opinions—his father being completely understanding about your situation, and seeing Jay as the one who was at fault, while his mother siding with Jay and putting, almost the entire blame, on you. The two of them ended up arguing with each other, and Jay felt bad for being the cause of yet another drama, so he would try his best to find activities to do away from his parents.

It sometimes backfired, though. Because the more Jay went out to get rid of the thoughts of you, the more things kept reminding him of you.

Jogging alongside the river, he saw a couple of cats lounging in the sun, and his immediate reaction was to take a picture from a safe distance to send to you. When ordering a drink at a café, he mentioned your favorite drink instead of his own, and ended up sitting in a corner staring at the cold beverage for a solid minute before deciding to just drink it.

Jay couldn’t deny how much of your personal life has blended into his. Before you took your relationship to the next level, he was content with doing all his duties as your secretary, making sure your every need was taken care of professionally. When you started sleeping together, he extended his gestures of attention and almost felt like he lived to serve you.

Maybe that was what went wrong, he thought. He had always put you on a pedestal, and although you deserved that spot, it was detrimental to him. It’s not like you never cared about him, though. You showed your love in different ways, and he made sure to acknowledge them. But the more he continues to work as your assistant and your boyfriend out of work, the more he started to question if this whole thing was even doable.

He wanted to be on your level, but he also wanted to serve you. He wanted to be your boyfriend and let the relationship go public, but he also did not want to lose his job as your assistant. He wanted to talk to you about your relationship, but he also did not want the conversation to spiral into an even worse fight.

Jay then started thinking what you would want him to do, but that only made his brain short circuit. He kept mixing the idea of what you want him to do with what he actually wanted to do. Thinking about all of this gave him a headache, so he decided to just sit back and let you do your thing.

His decision was to wait for you to contact him first.

---

Taehyung’s jazz club was more crowded than usual. You decided to visit even after asking him if he was going to be there and he said no. He did mention nonchalantly how, on Thursdays, there’s an open mic for guests who want to try and sing out their hearts. You thought it would be fun to go watch whatever goes down at the club that night, so Heeseung dropped you off and left to wait for you someplace else.

It was one of the best decisions you have made this week. Although there was a huge crowd, people were still very respectful and the music was good, played at a volume that allowed others to talk and hear each other. You were so engrossed in the open mic, listening intently to every single guest that tried singing a song of their choice. The last singer in particular made your heartstrings tug and you swore you almost cried from how beautiful he sounded.

You decided to get another drink from the bar and while you were waiting for your order, you felt someone looking at you. You glanced to your side and met eyes with a young man. He had longer hair that sort of looked like it was dyed red but has now faded. His features were a little sharp, his cheekbones prominent and his neck looking longer than average. He nodded to you once and smiled, holding up his glass. When your bartender gave you your order, you saw two glasses set in front of you.

You looked at your bartender, questioning him and he gestured to the man who was looking at you. It then registered that the extra drink was ordered by him, and you swiftly took both drinks in your hand, walking over to the guy.

“Hi,” he said with a smile as he welcomed you to sit on the stool next to him.

“I’m sure you’re a very nice guy,” you slid the drink he ordered to his side. “Mister…?”

“Jinyoung,” he chuckled lightly, amused that you asked for his name first.

“Jinyoung. I’m sorry but I don’t take drinks from strangers,” you smiled apologetically and tapped your finger twice beside the glass before retracting your hand.

Jinyoung frowned and took a second to formulate a respond. “That’s it?”

You were about to turn around but you stopped to look back at him. “I’m sorry?”

“I don’t even get a chance? Not even a hello?” Jinyoung brushed his hair back and adjusted his seat. You were beginning to feel a little intimidated.

You tried thinking of all the possible answers and excuses that might get him to stop trying to talk to you, but the sound of music and murmurs from the people around you were making it hard to even say one word.

“I’m sorry,” you ended up stating again, even though you weren’t actually sorry. “I’m flattered, but I can’t.”

You went back to your seat and tried pacing yourself drinking your order. You wanted to get out of the place as fast as you can since you were already feeling uncomfortable, so when you paid and said goodbye to the bartender, you made your way out.

What you did not notice is Jinyoung following you from a distance. He kept his eyes on you with every movement you made, and when you stepped out the door and walked down the empty street, he caught up to you.

“Come on,” he said, almost a whisper and almost making you yell profanities from how surprised you were. “At least tell me your name.”

“I just really can’t right now,” your voice was hushed and you were trying not to sound afraid.

You gave him an apologetic smile before turning around, but he grabbed your wrist forcefully and you got yanked backwards. The next thing that happened went too fast.

Your wrist was pulled free by some other guy who then proceeded to punch Jinyoung right on his jaw. Surprisingly, Jinyoung did not fall back and instead retaliated, landing a punch on Jay’s face.

Before the two of them got into a bigger brawl, you screamed Jay’s name as you saw him begin to get aggressive. At this point, Jinyoung was on the ground and Jay was grabbing his collar, ready to land yet another blow.

You quickly grabbed his arm to pull him back, letting Jinyoung fall limply to the pavement. You looked around and noticed that nobody was there to witness the fight, so you linked your hand with Jay’s and started dragging him away, as far as you could.

Reaching into your pocket, you fished for your phone and quickly dialed Heeseung’s number, demanding him to pick you up. You kept on walking with Jay’s hand in yours until you reached the meet up point.

“Are you hurt?”

You couldn’t believe what came out of his mouth after what just happened. You shift your gaze to look at him and saw his lip torn in the corner, and a bruise beginning to show near his jaw. Not knowing what to say as a response, you quietly thanked the gods when you saw your Benz pulling up. Immediately, you opened the door and practically shoved Jay inside before getting in yourself.

“Dude…” uttered Heeseung as he caught a glimpse of Jay’s face. He had a thousand questions in his mind but he decided to keep it for later.

“Your place, Miss?” Heeseung looked at you through the rear-view mirror.

You shook your head.

“Yours.”

---

The door to Jay’s room was opened. You can hear Sunghoon, Jake, and Heeseung’s mumbled voice as they talked outside by the kitchen, Heeseung retelling the events that happened less than two hours ago.

You were done tending to Jay’s scars and wounds on his hands. He was wearing rings and when he fought the guy, and his rings had cut through parts of his skin. Jay stayed silent the whole time you were busy with the first aid kit.

Taking a deep breath, you looked up to observe his face. You caught him looking at you for a split second before he blinked and quickly focused his eyes on something else. You brought one hand to graze your fingers over his jaw and examine the tear on his lip. Jay closed his eyes when he felt your touch, his jaw clenching when you applied ointment to his wound using a cotton bud.

“You didn’t answer me,” he said under his breath, keeping his eyes closed.

You looked into his eyes even though he couldn’t see you. “Don’t speak yet.”

You continued to observe his face, tilting it sideways by setting your hand on his chin. He let you move his face around, and although he looked serious, he was dying inside from having to suppress the feeling of wanting to just pull you into his embrace.

“What were you doing?” You sighed as you begin to clean up after yourself, putting the used cotton pads away and placing the other items back in the kit.

“I went to the club to get some air.”

“You’re back from vacation?”

“I just got back yesterday.”

“And you didn’t tell me?”

“I told Hwiyoung.”

You paused for a second before tidying up again. It had been a while since you and Jay were in close proximity and to tell the truth, your heart was beating faster than it should. You were unsure about the reason, though. Was it because he caused a scene? Or was it because he happened to be there and attended to your needs, as he always does?

“I asked if he hurt you,” Jay added when he noticed you weren’t saying anything back.

“I’m fine, okay? I dragged you away, I called Heeseung, and we’re back at your place. Isn’t that enough proof that I’m okay?”

The way you snapped caught him off guard. He did not want you to get the wrong idea, so he was treading lightly with his words. However, with the stinging pain that he could feel in his hands, as well as the uncontrollable beating of his heart, he ended up deciding to match your energy.

“Well, that’s a relief,” he stood up and you flinched from the sudden movement. He walked over to his closet and started unbuttoning his top. “Thanks for taking care of me. You should leave before it gets too late.”

Not wanting to let him see your face redden and your breath going heavy, you stormed out of his room, startling the three guys in the kitchen. Heeseung scrambled to get the car keys on the counter and quickly followed right after you, walking out the front door.

Heeseung knew you wanted to get home right away, so he overtook you and started walking in front of you down the hallway. Soon after, you stopped in your tracks and looked down, sobbing. Heeseung noticed this and turned around, walking towards you. He stopped in front of you, waiting patiently for you to compose yourself. When you were done sniffling, he calmly put his finger under your chin, tilting your head up, and patting your shoulder gently to make you walk again. You shook your head and got it together quickly and started leading Heeseung back to your car.

---

Fail fast. You had this advice in your pocket for as long as you could remember. One time you were watching your favorite YouTuber do a story time, and she mentioned how one of her mother’s best advice was to fail fast—every time something bad happens, you’re allowed to feel angry or sad, but then quickly pick yourself up and move on.

You failed fast often, in this case. Whenever your feelings become too overwhelming, your last resort was to cry yourself to sleep to numb all the pain. By the time the sun rises, you’d be ready to face the day and tackle whatever challenge life brings you. Denying how much you miss Jay would be stupid at this point, so you’d let yourself drown in melancholy whenever you feel like it, and then distract yourself by getting all your tasks done.

One of the ways you chose to do to get rid of loneliness was to contact and reach out to old friends that you barely even talk to lately. Most of the time they were delighted that you texted them first to ask for a meet up, but because your college friends were mostly your age, they were often busier than you. They didn’t have the luxury of hanging out late on a weekday night since they don’t own a company like you, so it took a while for you to find someone available to talk to that night.

You ended up meeting Jieun at a hotel restaurant after work. She was one of your college friends who never judged you back then, nor was she ever intimidated by you. If anything, you thought you and her share some similarities. After treating her dinner and talking for hours, you noticed that it was already 11 PM. She mentioned how she had an early morning the next day, so you quickly said goodbye and thanked her for the quality time.

Mr. Lee drove you back home within thirty minutes. You were exhausted from all the catching up so you did not wait too long to take a shower. Once you were all done with your skincare, you lied on your bed and scrolled your phone. You started to feel a sharp, stinging pain on the right side of your lower stomach. Feeling unusual, you checked your cycle in the app on your phone and you figured that it was almost that time of the month. You dismissed the pain and decided to sleep it off.

The stabbing pain kept waking you up, though. You did not want to wake up in a pool of blood, so you went to the bathroom to check if you got your period. You did not, and it was a false alarm, so you tried to force yourself to sleep. Your efforts were wasted and although you tried your best changing your positions to suppress the pain, you could still feel it shooting inside. You knew you didn’t have painkillers, and knowing that it was already late you refrained from contacting Hwiyoung to run a simple errand.

Just to make sure, you went to the bathroom to check again. The pain was killing you and you tried to breathe in and out deeply. You stood back up after sitting on the toilet and the next thing you know you were on the floor, facing the ceiling. You passed out, and the one thing that made you regain your consciousness was the damp feeling behind your head. You got up, touching the back of your head and noticing that it wasn’t blood, but the water droplets from the wet floor of your bathroom.

Picking up a new towel, you staggered to your bed, laid the towel flat so not to make your covers damp, and lied back down. You reached for your phone and started going through your contacts, unsure of who to call.

You called the first person in your speed dial, Jay. You let it ring for a couple of times but he never picked up. You checked the time and it was five minutes past 3 AM. You then called Isa, who was all the way in London and would basically be unable to do anything for you, but you realize to keep yourself conscious you needed to talk to someone. She did not pick up. You called Yoon, and although this time she would usually be awake, she did not pick up either. You hesitated for a while, thinking that maybe, just maybe, you can hold in the pain and just force yourself to sleep again. But for one last time, you called Jay, and after two rings he picked up.

“Hello?” Jay answered on the other side. He sounded groggy, but it did not sound like he was sleeping.

“I passed out in the bathroom and I think I hit my head. Can you come over?”

What you heard next was a mixture of panic, stuttering, and sounds of pure chaos. Jay asked where you were, confirming that you were at home, and you could hear him banging on Heeseung’s door, telling him to wake up and drive him to you.

“I’m on my way,” Jay said under his breath. He sounded like he was running. “Stay awake, okay?”

You did not know if Jay arrived as fast as he said or not because you ended up closing your eyes for a while. You woke up to the sound of your phone vibrating, and when you picked it up you heard Jay breathing heavily.

“I can’t get in. Did you change your passcode?” He asked as he inputted the same code and failed.

“It’s your birthday.”

There was silence for a second before you could hear Jay pressing the code to your apartment and the door unlocking. He ended the call and within seconds you saw him standing by your bedroom door.

“My God, Y/N…”

He rushed over to your side and gently touched your head. He felt your damp hair and instantly furrowed.

“It’s not blood,” you reassured him weakly as you struggled to keep your eyes open.

“Heeseung is waiting at the lobby,” Jay quickly grabbed a long coat from the back of your door. “Let’s go.”

“Where?” You frowned, sitting up as Jay gently pulled your arms.

“The hospital,” Jay tried his best to put on your coat for you. “Put your arm around me.”

“I can walk.”

“Please?”

You gave in and let Jay carry you like a bride. He was sweating from all the rushing and running, but you decided to enjoy his warmth that enveloped you. Closing your eyes, you didn’t let his movements bother you. He kept looking down to check on you, worried that if you closed your eyes he might lose you. In the elevators, he looked at you through the reflection. His eyes had a specific color of sadness and regret, and he wanted to ask you every detail about how it happened, but he also did not want to disturb you.

Heeseung held the door to your car open as soon as he saw Jay approaching with you in his arms. Jay carefully sat you in your car, not forgetting to put a neck pillow around you to keep your head from bumping to the sides. He sat next to you and started massaging your hands as Heeseung drove as fast as he could.

“You don’t need to speed,” you murmured, looking at Heeseung. He glanced at you through the rear-view mirror.

“Don’t worry, I’m driving safe,” he reassured you and you could see him smiling by the way his eyes crinkled.

You arrived at the hospital, right in front of the emergency unit that was thankfully empty. You insisted that you could walk, so Jay kept one hand around your waist to keep you steady. After telling the nurse what happened, they took you to one of the beds and started administering painkillers.

Jay stayed silent beside you the whole time. He was holding your phone because you did not want to leave it when he carried you out of your bedroom, and he noticed a couple of notifications blowing up your phone. It took a while for the nurses to find the vein in your hand, having both your hands stabbed twice until they could finally insert the IV drip.

When the doctor came to ask you questions, aside from the topic of your period, Jay answered everything else regarding your health. He knew the meds and vitamins that you had been taking, he knew your allergies and everything else. The doctor then said that it was best for you to get an MRI scan since you did mention that you hit your head and there was no witness to clarify how hard you hit it or where exactly you bumped your head.

The staff brought a wheelchair for you and Jay helped you get off the bed and sit in the chair. He pushed you all the way to the MRI scan, took off your necklace and your earrings and kept it in his pockets while he waited until your scan was over. You had to wait for the results, and when you were back on the bed you asked for your phone. He wanted to refuse initially, but he then thought it would be a nice distraction for you, so he gave you your phone and took out his own.

He began scrolling on his phone as you started responding to your friends. Isa and Yoon were panicking in your group chat, and once you told them everything they both apologized for not picking up your call. Soon after, the doctor came in with the results for your blood test and MRI scan, claiming that there was nothing to worry about and it was indeed just intense pre-menstruation cramps.

On the car ride home, Heeseung drove much slower than before. He glanced at you once, making sure that you were comfortable.

“I’m sorry,” said Jay, breaking the silence. “I should have picked up the first time you called.”

“Don’t,” you replied, closing your eyes.

“What?”

“Stop making me feel like I need you,” you fixed the position of your neck pillow and leaned to your side.

Jay sighed. “Is there anything wrong with that?”

Heeseung pulled up at your place just in time for you to dodge Jay’s question. You opened your door as soon as your car stopped, and Jay got out of his seat and rushed to your side.

“Don’t wait up, I need to make sure she’s settled,” Jay told Heeseung, leaning down to talk to him.

Heeseung nodded. “Take care.”

Although you were sure you could walk, you still needed support. You clung to Jay’s arm, keeping him close as he matched your pace, walking slowly to your apartment. Once you reached your door, you let go, and you swore you could see him smile as he typed in his birthday as the passcode. He opened the door for you and you walked in, heading straight for your bedroom.

“You have some pills to take, should I make something for you to eat?” Jay asked, trailing behind you.

You shook your head. “I’m not hungry yet.”

Jay shuffled towards your bathroom and you heard water running just as you were about to change your clothes.

“I’m drawing you a bath. I’m pretty sure you’ll be hungry after.”

You were too tired to protest, and to be honest you really missed the attention from Jay. Still, you felt like a burden, so you tried refusing at first.

“You don’t really need to--”

“Will you just let me take care of you?” Jay walked towards you, closing the distance as he raised one hand to caress your face. “Please.”

You looked down and nodded, knowing full well that if you stared back at him you were going to cry. He kissed the top of your head gently and disappeared into the bathroom. While waiting, you checked the time and noticed it was almost 6 AM.

Once the water was almost full, Jay called for you. He stayed and even helped you undress, holding one arm for you as you carefully slipped into the bathtub. He then left you alone, insisting that he make something for you to eat. You didn’t bathe for too long since you noticed Jay was right, you found your stomach rumbling and begging to be fed. After fifteen minutes, you drained the water and dried yourself, quickly getting dressed to go to the kitchen.

You walked out just in time, seeing Jay plate the jjajang noodles and carry it to the counter. He made your favorite type of instant noodles, one that you made sure was always stocked at home.

“Here,” Jay served the plate to you and also a glass of cold water. He then excused himself to wash up and let you eat in peace.

You kept yourself company by watching random YouTube videos on your phone as you ate up your early meal. When you were done, you cleaned up after yourself and even took all the pills the doctor prescribed for you earlier. Jay came out wearing the same outfit he had on before—his black joggers, a white sleeveless, and a navy flannel.

“You’re done?” He asked, slightly surprised. He knew you were a fast eater but he didn’t expect you to be that fast. “Do you want to go back to sleep?”

You always feel sleepy after a big meal so your answer to his question was a simple nod. He turned back around to make your bed and pulled the blankets away to let you slide in.

“I already texted Hwiyoung,” Jay said as he tucked you in. “Everything is under control, but just to make sure, I’m gonna-”

“Can you please stay?”

Hearing this made Jay soften his gaze on you. He set his phone to mute and put it on your end table.

“Where do you want me?” He asked.

“Your side of the bed,” you answered, turning to face the right.

Jay sighed and walked over to his side, taking his flannel off before joining you under the covers. He stretched out his arm and you immediately shifted towards him, covering yourself in his embrace. His hand found your shoulder and squeezed it gently, at the same time his other hand started stroking your hair.

“Thank you,” you mumbled into the crook of his neck, your hands clutching his shirt.

Jay responded with a hum before leaning in to kiss the top of your head. With that, you drifted off to sleep at ease.

---

You woke up hours later completely sprawled on your bed, one leg sticking out of the covers, your hair a complete mess, and your t-shirt riding up to your boobs. You blinked twice and realized that Jay had left his spot. You closed your eyes again to try and make out if there was sound outside, but you heard nothing.

As you pulled the covers away from your body, you sat up and saw your phone on the end table sitting on top of a piece of paper. You squinted your eyes and reach for your phone, eventually identifying the piece of paper as a handwritten letter.

Y/N,

I didn’t want to wake you up since I know you’ve lost hours of sleep last night. I’m sorry I left without telling you.

By the time you wake up, I’ll probably be at the office. I’m gonna ask Hwiyoung to help me catch up with all the work I’ve missed while I was gone.

Take the day off and take your time doing your activities, okay? I’ll handle all your work in the meantime.

Yours, Jay

Your stomach did a flip when you read the last words of Jay’s letter. He could have texted you or left a simple post-it on your table, but he went out of his way to write a whole letter. You heart felt full and immediately you were already feeling better. Glancing at the clock on the wall, you noticed that it was two in the afternoon.

You decided to order something for lunch instead of going out or making something on your own, but after washing your face and brushing your teeth, you walked to your kitchen only to find several plates with food on it covered by a transparent lid.

On the counter, there’s a post-it note that said ‘Reheat before eating, --J.’. You pouted and uncovered the food. There was corn and chicken cream soup and a smaller plate with omelette and sausages. It seemed like Jay predicted you would wake up earlier, hence the brunch-like menu. Since the last time you ate was more than six hours ago, you heeded the advice on the note and heated up your meal, quickly devouring it under twenty minutes.

You spent the rest of the day out and about. Mr. Lee looked genuinely concerned when you hopped into your car, having only been informed about your incident just hours before. You insisted that you were fine, and after doing simple errands you realized it wasn’t even dark yet, so you decided to stop by the office.

Your hair was tied up into a ponytail and you were wearing a casual light blue button-down tucked into your skinny jeans. When you arrived at the office, your staff were surprised to see you since they heard from Hwiyoung that you were taking the day off. Some of them expressed their concerns and after thanking them for asking, you made your way to Hwiyoung’s desk.

“Where’s Park?” You asked, not giving Hwiyoung a chance to even ask how you were doing.

Hwiyoung merely pointed to your door, signaling that Jay was inside.

“Are you already feeling better, Miss?” Hwiyoung called out to you before you reached for the door.

“I am,” you answered with a smile. “Thanks, Hwiyoung.”

You knocked on your door once before pushing it open and letting yourself inside. Jay was sitting at your desk, holding a phone to his ear and speaking in a language that at first sounded foreign to you, but then you quickly identified as Japanese. He swiveled in his seat and then locked eyes with you, immediately making a frown on his face. He held up a hand to let you know that he needed to wrap up the call, and as soon as he was done he jumped out of his seat and rushed to you.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, gently placing his hands on both sides of your arms. “Did you get enough rest?”

“Was that Japan? Our deal with them has been sitting for days,” you glanced at your desk and saw documents spread out, as well as your computer screen showing dozens of different tabs.

“Yeah, I took care of it,” Jay replied nonchalantly. “Seriously, what are you doing here?”

“Stop worrying, I’m fine,” you cooed at him, bringing one hand to rest on his cheek. “I just wanted to come see you and thank you properly. And apologize too.”

He wrapped his hand around yours, bringing it down for him to squeeze. “Apologize?”

“I’ve said stuff I didn’t mean that ended up driving you away.”

Jay chuckled softly. “If anything, I should be the one apologizing for leaving you all alone.”

“I mean, at work it’s been fine, Hwiyoung is an astute assistant.”

You said this jokingly, pouting as you glanced to your door, referring to the guy who had singlehandedly helped you keep the ship afloat. Jay clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah. What about at home?” He asked, this time taking a step back and crossing his arms in front of him.

You paused for a second before taking a deep breath. “Miserable.”

Jay immediately reached out his hands to your waist, pulling you into a tight embrace. You snake your arms around him and sighed into the crook of his neck.

“Can you come back to work?” Your voice squeaked as you tried to keep it low.

“Already doing it now, Boss,” Jay answered with a smirk.

“Can you come back home?” You asked again.

Jay rested his chin on top of your head. You could feel him gulp before he spoke.

“What’s that supposed to mean? I’m already back home,” he said, tightening his grip around your waist.

“I mean move in with me.”

Jay had to pull himself back to look you in the eyes. You frowned because you didn’t get an instant answer.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” He inquired, searching for confirmation in your eyes.

You kept your frown and stared back at him. “Do you not want to?”

“I would love to,” Jay responded without missing a beat. “But it does seem sudden. And unplanned.”

“The boss you see at work is not the same as the woman you’re dating, Park,” you said, huffing to get the strands of hair out of your face.

Jay chuckled. “Can you explain what you mean? I’m not following.”

You sighed and broke out of his embrace to walk over to your desk. You then sat on your chair and after getting a quick glance on the documents on your desk, you started tidying them up.

“You’re a planner, I’m a doer. You think of the future, and I focus on the present. With the right rhythm we can make it work. What I’m doing now is asking you to do what I want now.”

Jay stood in his place as he stared at you, intently listening to every single word you were saying.

“If you ask me if I need you at work, I don’t. I’m perfectly capable and I have a terrific team. If you ask me if I need you outside of work, technically I don’t either. Unless an emergency happens, then yeah, I might need you.”

Jay looked at you with a where-are-you-going-with-this look on his face. You continued clearing out your desk.

“But if you ask me what I want, I can answer it now,” you were finally done and you leaned back on your chair, bringing one leg up to sit comfortably. “I want you. I like it better with you around.”

Jay’s gaze softened as a genuine smile started to form along the lines of his lips. He walked over to you slowly, feet dragging lazily before he finally reached your side. He leaned to the desk and slightly sat on the edge comfortably, resting his hands beside his thighs.

“You need to say something,” you started to swivel your chair, getting restless as he had been quiet for some time. Jay only looked at you with eyes full of love, but the silence was killing you and you decided to stand up to walk to your mini bar.

As you passed him, he grabbed your wrist and pulled you just enough for you to fall back, with him resting one hand on your waist and making you stand in between his legs.

“I’d walk through fire for you,” he said, eyes staring into your soul.

You almost snorted as you held in a chuckle. “Okay?” You replied, unsure.

“I will be wherever you want me to be. As long as it makes you happy,” Jay brought your hand to his lips and kissed your knuckles. The action would always make you melt.

“But are you happy?” You asked, genuinely concerned.

Jay was slightly taken aback at the question, but the answer to it he found easy. He moved his hand and rested it on your neck, gently pulling you into him for a kiss. You sighed into his mouth, letting his lips greet yours in a way that was almost like a reunion. You tilted your head and leaned into him more, and he groaned as he could feel your breasts pressing against his chest. Both your lips made soft, smacking sounds and the two of you were so into it that you didn’t realize the door opening slowly.

“Hey, Park, I just wanted to ask—Oh, shit.”

Jay practically jumped from your desk and took two steps away from you, wiping off the stain of your lipstick from his lips. You closed your eyes in annoyance, blaming yourself for not locking the door when you came in. You pressed your lips together and looked at the figure by the door.

“Yes, Hwiyoung?” You inquired.

After staring at the floor for so long, Hwiyoung shifted his gaze to look at you. He was still too stunned and speechless that it made you laugh softly. Jay frowned as he looked at you, seemingly still in the same level of shock as Hwiyoung.

“Alright, before you say anything,” you started, raising a hand. “Park and I are dating.”

Jay blinked at you before looking at Hwiyoung, anticipating a reaction. Hwiyoung nodded and brushed his hair back.

“That I know, but I really was not expecting to walk in on you two doing… tongue tango.”

Jay brought his palm to his face and tried covering his embarrassment, but you furrowed your eyebrows and kept your eye contact with Hwiyoung.

“What do you mean you know?” You stood leaning on your desk, prepping yourself up with your palms against the table.

“Well, I, uh… figured,” Hwiyoung hesitated before he took a couple of steps toward you. Jay was now leaning on the bookshelf behind him, waiting for your next order.

“What do you mean you ‘figured’?” You repeated, demanding Hwiyoung to elaborate.

“You call him Jay all the time, you’re with him 24/7, that one time we went glamping, the dance that Keeho and Yeji told me about… Oh…”

Hwiyoung brought one hand to cover his mouth when he realized he let two names slip. “Keeho and Yeji have suspected for a while too, by the way.”

You sighed and looked at Jay, who returned your look only with a big question mark on his face.

“Who else knows?”

“Pretty much just us three, but I feel like the staff have been shipping you for a while anyway. Don’t worry, Miss. We can keep secrets. I won’t let others know,” Hwiyoung quickly regained composure and straightened up his pose.

You waved your hand, dismissing the idea. “It’s fine. If they find out it’s fine. One thing though.”

“Yes, Miss?” Hwiyoung’s eyes widened.

“What happened to knocking? And why were you looking for Jay when I’m clearly in the room too? This is my office.”

Jay snorted and quickly covered his mouth with his hand when he realized he did it too loudly. You shot a questioning glare at him and when you looked back at Hwiyoung, he was bowing as an apology.

“I still need to talk to you,” Hwiyoung looked at Jay. Jay nodded and excused himself.

As soon as Jay reached Hwiyoung’s side, Hwiyoung pointed at the corner of his lip, letting Jay know that there still was lipstick on him. You shook your head as you turned your attention to your computer, your mind thinking of lip product alternatives that are more kiss proof.

---

It was a Wednesday night and you were doing a bit of work on your computer while you wait for Jay to come home from the gym. For some reason you felt so sleepy, but if you left your desk to take a nap, you might end up losing two hours. You set your arm on your desk and hunched your back, resting your forehead on your forearm. You were not sure how long you were asleep, but you woke up from the sound of the door opening.

“Hey,” Jay calmly greeted you as he trotted to your desk. “You look tired.”

You chuckled as you struggle to open your eyes, sitting up straight and swiveling your chair to face Jay. “What a nice way to say I look like shit.”

Stretching your arms, you begged for Jay to hug you. He hesitated, pinching his t-shirt and giving it a sniff.

“I haven’t showered yet,” he said, standing his ground.

“I don’t care,” you said as you stood up, impatient because he never made his way closer to you. You went in for a hug, firmly circling your arms around his waist and he hugged you back tightly, rubbing and squeezing your shoulders.

“Why are you still working?” Jay asked, glancing at your computer but not letting go of you.

“I’m doing more work now so I have less tomorrow,” you mumbled into his chest. Jay chuckled from the vibration. “I’m really tired though and I need a distraction. No, I need something to keep me awake.”

Jay continued to embrace you while gently rubbing your back. “Should I make you something to eat?”

“I think that would make me even sleepier.”

“I’ll make you something to drink then,” Jay carefully pulled himself away from your arms. “Something with caffeine?”

You paused for a while to take in the view. Jay’s jet black, fluffy hair was slightly damp from sweat. His chain necklace was nowhere to be found, and his white tee smelled like a mixture of his cologne and his natural body odor. The way you observed him just heightened your senses, and just like that you started to feel awake.

You shook your head. “Have a seat, I’ll make something for you instead.”

Jay tilted his head in confusion but obliged when you made him sit on your chair. Turning his attention to your computer, he let you walk away to the kitchen. You came back in minutes, holding two mugs of iced tea and setting it on your desk with a coaster. Jay took his mug and leaned in to give you a peck on your cheek as a thank you before taking a sip. Once he was done, you looked at your screen and saw that he had continued the work you left off.

“You didn’t need to do that,” you protested, bending over to snatch the mouse out of his hand, scrolling the screen.

Jay licked his lips. “You didn’t need to make me a drink but you did anyway.”

“That’s different,” you fixed the glasses perched on your nose as you started typing, still bent over.

Jay took the initiative to pull you by the waist, making you sit on his lap. When you squeaked from the surprise, he chuckled and planted a chaste kiss on the back of your neck.

“You said you needed help staying awake, right?” Jay whispered right into your ear.

“Mm-hm,” you murmured, stretching your shoulders as you feel him flex behind you.

Jay started rubbing your waist gently. You sighed as you gradually melted into his touch, letting his hands run to other places. He snuck a hand under your t-shirt and reached your breasts, massaging your right tit as his other hand traveled downwards.

“Jay…” you breathed out, leaning back to his chest.

“Don’t mind me,” he replied. “Just continue.”

You tried your best concentrating on the opened document on your screen while you could feel Jay’s fingers grazing the outside of your folds. At first, he was touching you through your shorts, but as your whimpers and moans became more audible, he slid his hand underneath, coming in contact with your skin.

Your breath hitched and you quickly gripped his wrist. He reassured you by leaving wet kisses on your neck and down your shoulders, all the while letting his other hand do all the work on your breasts. He started pinching your nipples, adding to the pleasure by also sucking on your skin gently. You felt his teeth grazing your neck and you hissed, closing your eyes to indulge for just a split second.

“You’re gonna make me cum,” you said, leaning back and turning your head towards him.

Jay smiled at you and ducked to kiss your lips. You brought one hand to cup his face and keep him steady as you deepened the kiss, desperately running your tongue around the insides of his mouth.

“I’m not even inside you yet,” he mumbled, tapping his thumb on your clit. You stifled a moan and shifted in your seat, finding a way to make him gain more access to your core.

You quickly finished typing and the second you were done, you brought up one hand to grasp Jay by the neck. He sunk his teeth into your neck, kissing and sucking your skin while his fingers worked wonders on and inside you. Your moans became louder as he slid his fingers in and out of you in a faster pace, and as you reached your high you held on to Jay’s arms tightly. You were out of breath, and you almost did not notice him slipping out of you and bringing his fingers towards his mouth, sucking them clean.

“Fully awake now?” Jay asked as he observed the way you were catching your breath. You chuckled lightly, playfully slapping his arm that was still secured around your waist. He loosened his grip and you stood up, taking your t-shirt off so that you were left in just your panties and shorts.

Jay raised an eyebrow at the sight of you and you smiled, leaning in to kiss him sweetly on the cheek. You then pushed the chair he was sitting on a little further so that you can kneel down in front of him. His thighs tensed at the movement, watching you topless and now on your knees, looking like you were about to worship him.

You palm the visible bulge under his sweats and Jay instantly bit his lower lip. To be completely honest, you knew he was already getting hard the moment he put his fingers on you, but he did not say a thing and you were about to reward him for it. You rested your head on the inside of his thigh as you lazily stroked his dick from outside. Jay threw his head back from the pleasure, his hand making its way to your head to brush your hair back.

You missed touching him like this. You thought this was the perfect way to show him how much you loved him, how much you wanted to worship him. You kneeled forward and tugged at his sweats, signaling him to pull his pants down. He did so in an instant, pulling his sweats and boxers down in one go, letting you set them down at his ankles. You then started leaving butterfly kisses along his thigh, and he flexed whenever he felt your kisses a little too wet.

“Fuck,” Jay muttered under his breath. He closed his eyes with one hand and kept another on your head. “Please just suck me off.”

You couldn’t help but smile at the polite request. You continued to plant more kisses as you made your way closer and closer to his crotch. Once you reached his dick, you held it with one hand, immediately feeling it twitch.

“If you say so,” you said as you licked a stripe along his shaft. “My prince.”

Jay let out a loud groan as he felt you putting his dick in your mouth. You closed your eyes to savor his taste, running your tongue around him, letting him thrust into your throat, and sucking the tip of his dick before letting it go with a pop to catch your breath.

He was a moaning mess. His grip on your hair tightened whenever he felt you suck a little harder. You made good use of your hands too, not letting the other parts of his body neglected. Your hand traveled upwards, grazing his chiseled abs before reaching his chest. You did your best to touch him everywhere, making him groan louder and pull your hair even tighter with every stroke he made down your throat. He couldn’t even form the words to tell you that he was close. When he released his load, you froze for a second, taking it in. Carefully, you slid his cock out of your mouth, accidentally letting his cum drip down your chin as you swallowed the rest.

“Oh my God,” Jay breathed loudly. “Fuck.”

You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand as you stand up, patting his cheek gently. “You good?”

“Give me a minute,” he answered, holding up one hand. “Fuck, you’re a goddess.”

You giggled as you carefully sat on his lap again. Jay blinked twice before looking at you fondly, pulling you into a kiss. You smiled into his touch and run your hands through his hair.

“It’s been a minute,” you declared, pulling back to look in his eyes. “You good now?”

Jay chuckled and nodded. “Why?”

You pouted before leaning in to speak right in his ear. “I need you to fuck me harder.”

“God, Y/N,” Jay sighed. “You can’t just say that.”

You couldn’t hide your laughter so you decided to bury your head in the crook of his neck. Despite this, you could still feel him getting harder under you.

“Bedroom?” You asked, looking at him with the best version of your puppy eyes.

“Bedroom,” he replied.

The two of you lost track of time. From slowly undressing each other completely, to getting tangled in the sheets of your bed, you made it a competition to see who can worship the other better. You practically begged for Jay to go rough on you, and he did so marvelously, proven by the way you had your face flat on your pillow with your ass up, him pounding into you from behind. You had your second orgasm for the night, and you refused to stop there.

You pulled Jay to the bed and made him lie down for you as you straddled him, making him wince from the change in pace. He sunk his fingers deeper into your waist with every thrust you made, grinding on him like you had never done so before. You didn’t forget to lean into him, capturing his lips in yours and swallowing his moans that were now louder than your own. You kept your pace while he grabbed your ass, thrusting upwards to match you.

“Y/N,” he called out to you and you immediately moved to kiss him on the forehead. “I’m close.”

“Cum with me,” you replied. “In me.”

Hearing this, Jay propped himself up with both his elbows before sitting up completely, having you sat on his cock comfortably. He leaned into your chest and kissed you between your tits. You looked at him affectionately, gently running your fingers through his hair as he then looked back up at you.

“I love you,” he whispered, barely audible. You responded with a deep kiss before replying back to him.

“I love you too.”

His hands on your ass gripped you harder as he guided your moves, and with a couple more thrusts he cummed inside you with you following suit just moments after.

Jay swiftly maneuvered you to lie down under him without having to pull out, but as he hovered over you and you could feel him slipping out, you grasped his arm in haste.

“Stay,” you begged, looking up at him. “Stay with me.”

Jay realized there really was nothing you would ask for that he could refuse. He nodded and kissed your cheek as he carefully laid by your side, his cock still inside of you. You brought one leg up to rest on his waist, and he started rubbing circles on your bare back.

“We need to wash up sooner or later,” Jay said, his lips moving against the top of your head.

“I vote later,” you mumbled, nuzzling into his chest even closer.

Jay chuckled and you couldn’t help but smile against his skin. Your eyes are closed, and his were too, but in that moment you both were able to feel the immense heat and love you have for each other.

He didn’t need to walk through fire, for his fire was you.

-END-

© forjongseong 2022, all rights reserved

SECRETARY!JAY will return...

read the next part here: apaga y vámonos

[love-strawberry]

the way things were

summary : and when they thought their story ended, it began again over a cup of coffee.

pairing : peter parker x reader.

warnings : nwh spoilers, angst, sad peter.

author's note : NO WAY HOME SPOILERS KINDA, also hey how you doin? im back lemme know if y'all want a part two, kay? love you all <3

masterlist

----------

"you'll forget me, i can't have that."

"maybe, but i'm sure you'll make me remember once again."

"i-i can't wait till all this is over. and i lo-"

"y/n!"

y/n y/l/n snapped her head up as she looked at mj who called her name from behind the coffee counter.

"you good?", mj asked as she made a cup of coffee for a guy their age, "you zoned out for a moment there."

"yeah, no i'm fine," y/n dismissed as she gave ned, who sat at their usual table a small smile and looked back that mj, "just kinda tired, i guess."

"yeah, me too," mj agreed as she closed the container for coffee, "does that guy look familiar to you?"

y/n turned around and saw the guy that was waiting for his coffee. he looked to be around their age and had a small piece of paper in his hand and a book with him.

"yeah, maybe he goes to our school," y/n said as she went to the counter to greet him.

peter parker looked up at the girl he called his girlfriend but only this time, she had no idea who he was.

she didn't know that she was the first person to find out that he was spiderman. she had no idea that peter risked everything for her and their friends. she didn't know him. she didn't know that he loved her.

and as he stood in front of her, bearing her favourite book, the one he gifted to her on her sixteenth birthday, he had no choice but to pretend that she was a stranger.

"hey, your coffee will be ready in a moment. would you like anything else?" y/n asked him with a smile. mj was right, he did look familiar.

"no, thank you," the boy said and y/n noted that his voice shook.

"i'm y/n, and you are?" she asked trying to make conversation as he waited for his coffee.

"i'm peter, peter parker," peter said. he never would've thought that introducing him to someone would pain him this much. but in this case, he knew her but she didn't.

"it's nice to meet you, peter," she smiled at him, he looked nervous and she didn't wanna make him more nervous, "i love that book, have you read it?"

peter looked down at 'all the bright places' and felt like crying.

"yeah, no, my girlfriend loved this book, she wanted this for her birthday and i got her this. she was so happy," peter let out a chuckle, "wouldn't let me go for hours, thanking me every minute."

"she sounds like she has an incredible taste in books," y/n laughed lightly. she saw mj coming out with his coffee and hesitated.

"have we met before?", she questioned slowly, she didn't want to make him feel like she was weird but he looked really familiar.

"no, i'm sorry. we haven't."

and on the other side of the counter, peter's heart broke.

----------

"yes, ned. don't worry, i'll look into apartments."

y/n entered her apartment, saw her mom in the living room and her dad in the kitchen.

"yes, ned. yeah i'll tell my parents you love them- i promise, bye."

she ended the call and went straight to her room after calling out greetings to her parents.

she sat her bag on the desk and flopped face first on the bed. the day was tiring and she just wanted to sleep but she couldn't.

she looked around and she saw her books arranged neatly in a corner and stood up and picked out 'all the bright places'.

opening it, she read the first sentence and-

"oh my god! thank you so much peter!"

y/n laughed as she stood up and hugged peter, both of them falling back on her bed as the lights around them twinkled.

"i wanted that book for so long, thank you," she still didn't let go. the fact that peter remembered it was enough for her to never let him go

"i know that, why do you think i got it for you?" peter questioned as he tightened his grip on her and buried his face into the crook of her neck.

"god, i love you."

it was the first time anyone of them said it in 7 months of dating. y/n froze and peter went rigid.

nothing would ever come close to the feeling of him saying in back.

"i love you."

he pulled back from their long lasting hug and placed his hand on her cheek pulling her closer while her hands went around his neck.

they were closer than ever before, she could feel his breathe on her face and he could feel her heart beat. just a little bit more closer and their lips were touching and then-

"y/n! dinner's ready!"

----------

"i was there; i remember it all too well."

pulling out her earphones, she sat on the bus stop waiting for her bus to arrive.

she was scrolling through her phone when she noticed someone's eyes on her and looked up.

"hey peter!"

peter was fairly confident that she hadn't seen him but that thought went outta the window once he heard his ex(?) girlfriend call out his name.

"hi y/n," peter moved to sit beside her, "how're you?"

"i'm good. what about you?" y/n answered as she put away her phone and earphones and gave peter her undivided attention.

"i'm doing alright, just got off my job today," peter answered.

"that's great," y/n was about to ask something but the bus arrived, cutting her short.

"i'll see you around, peter," y/n gave him a smile and stood up.

she was about to board when she heard peter call out her name.

"hey," he began as he fiddled nervously with his hands, "do you, maybe wanna, grab some coffee sometime?"

"yeah, i'd love that."

things weren't gonna go back to what they were, but he liked the way they were turning out.

----------

[gentil-minou]

Top 5 side character/supporting cast moments?

This is actually extremely upsetting because the correct answer is ALL OF THEM because the side characters are some of my fave moments and I kept making a list of them and it kept getting longer but i managed to pick 5 but ordering them was IMPOSSIBLE so guess what they are all number 1 you can't try to tell me otherwise

So, in order of how I remembered them:

1. Kagami in Ikari Gozen. As someone who struggled (and continues to) to make friends after moving to a new place I loved seeing her be so socially awkward and I just related to her so much and this was the episode where she became one of my fave side characters.

1. Felix in Gabriel Agreste. We'd been wondering where Paris' one braincell was and lo and behold, Felix had it the entire time. In addition to next level plays, I also just loved getting to see him be silly with Adrien and his relationship with his mom was heartwarming. I still find him to be a pretty grey character (and villain!Felix my love) but now I'm way more excited to see more of him. (also if he really is a senti I AM A BIG FAN)

1. THE BROS in Party Crasher. Okay everything in this episode was a complete delight but the best was seeing these guys hang out and have fun and pull elaborate stunts to see their friend. The akuma battle was also one of my favorites for the pure chaos! We never really got to see these guys hang out before and seeing them here was great. (Nino my beloved)

1. The girls in Gigantitan. AKA THE BIRTH OF BUTTERCUP. Listen this was just an amazing scene okay and I headcanon that Marinette didn't have many friends growing up so this might have been new and exciting for her but also I just love all the personality we got here, and at the end of the episode where they go off and have their own fun it just warmed my heart (special shout out to Rose for her adorable thinking face)

1. THE KWAMI SHENANIGANS in S4. L I S T E N these are the scenes I LIVE FOR and when I saw we were gonna see more about the kwamis and see them roaming around I was sooooo hyped because they all have such fun and distinct personalities and they balance Marinette so well. One of the things I'm most excited for is post-reveal where Adrien can come over and hang out with the kwamis and get into mischief and just enjoy things being noisy and I'm so glad they introduced this in season 4.

(please ignore their creepy stare i love them okay dfjkhsdgs)

HONORABLE MENTIONS (AND LOOK I GET THIS IS ALSO CHEATING BUT I SWEAR YOU GUYS ARE MAKING THIS DIFFICULT ON PURPOSE)

every djwifi scene but especially in chameleon where nino missed his hat

also nino in animan where he was too nervous to talk to mari

basically every nino scene nino my beloved

JULEKA

zoe pulling a fast one on her sister in queen banana to give her the miraculous

KAGAMI IN GABRIEL AGRESTE WHERE SHE FREAKING PULLS OUT A SWORD TO PROTECC AND ATTACC AND I LOVE I SCREAM

ALSO EVERY KAGAMI SCENE BASICALLY SHE READS SHOJO MANGA HOW CAN I NOT LOVE HER

max in startrain i'm a sucker for positive parent relationships

speaking of TOM AND SABINE IN BEFANA WAS SO GOOD

marc and nath making and adrinette fairytale au omg the only reason this isn't on the list is because i can't figure out if this is an adrinette moment or a side character moment

i have a soft spot for Gorilla's plane anxiety and I hope as the special goes he gets more comfortable with being on planes that would be a nice touch

Ask me for my Top Five of anything (though this has turned into an ml ask game lolol)

[rebeccccccaaa]

𝐈𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞

________________________

ʙᴜᴄᴋʏ ʙᴀʀɴᴇs x ᴘʏʀᴏᴋɪɴᴇᴛɪᴄ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

ʀᴇǫᴜᴇsᴛᴇᴅ: (ANON) heey!! Can you please write something (possibly smut pls) in which Bucky falls in love with Tony's adoptive daughter but they have to keep it a secret?

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: SMUT 18+, fluff, age gap (you’re like mid-twenties and Bucky’s early thirties) angry Tones, Steve being such an asshole lmao 

ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ’s ɴᴏᴛᴇs: I imagine that you were like thirteen to fifteen during the attack in new york and your parents uh… died ig and Tony took you in and they find out you got super powers teehee

________________________

It started when the Avengers had their first movie with Bucky as a new recruit. He had completed his evaluations and was applicable to join the team. That’s when he met you for the first time. 

You were this beautiful ball of craziness and light and he couldn’t take his eyes off you. You were tipsy, he could tell and every sudden burst of laughter or even a sneeze you’d spark a flame setting something on fire making you laugh even more. 

He practically fell in love with you that day. 

Weeks later he chalked it up and asked Steve more about you. He told Bucky that your parents had died when you were young during the attack on New York almost ten years ago now and Tony took it upon himself to take you in and protect you. 

“How did you guys know about her powers?”

“We didn’t. Few days after she moved into the Tower she sneezed during breakfast and set her food on fire. I don’t think she knew about them either.”

“Who were her parents?”

“We don’t know. She told us their names but it’s like they don’t exist; no medical history, socials, nothing.”

“Weird.”

You were a mystery, a beautiful mystery. But one thing everyone was that you were Tony’s daughter. Adopted, but still. And Tony still didn’t like him. It was an argument on it’s own to even let near the compound; telling him that he wanted to date his daughter would send him into cardiac arrest. 

So you guys are sneaking around.

Of course you noticed his shy and lingering eyes. You were flattered. You agreed a bunch that Bucky was one of the most gorgeous men you’ve ever laid your eyes on. You didn’t push anything and waited for him to come to you. And when he did, he came hard, literally.

It started when Steve was away on a mission in Berlin. Bucky had woken up from a nightmare and he hadn’t had one in weeks. During his time here, because of his infatuation with you, he grew close to you. 

You laid under him so perfectly; like you were meant to be there. The way you bit your lip to muffle your moans so you wouldn’t wake anyone. The way your eyes fluttered when he hit that particular spot. The stinging from your nails dragging down his back. 

“Fucking hell, you feel so good wrapped around me, doll,” he grunted as he continued to thrusted in and out of you. 

“Oh god, Bucky,” you moaned before pulling him down to connect your lips together. 

“Ugh, your dad’s gonna kill me,” he grunted.

“Fuck him,” you chuckled breathlessly.

Breakfast the next morning was foul. Everyone was eating as normal and Steve was set to fly back in from Berlin, but y couldn’t shake the awkward tension between you and Bucky. Both girls could sense that something had happened and when you told them later that day they nearly screamed like teenage girls. 

“You can’t tell anyone! Especially Tony!”

“We won’t say anything,” Nat giggled, “He’s gonna kill you.”

“Not if he kills Bucky first,” Wanda snorted.

Since then every lingering touch, every persistent stare, you found yourselves in either room making the most of however many minutes you had together until someone came looking for you. Your chest pressed against his, combing your fingers through his hair as he buried his face in the crook of your neck. 

“You’re absolutely irresistible, doll,” Bucky whispered against your ear.

“Fuck, we’re gonna get caught one day,” you panted.

“I know but we haven’t yet, so be a good girl and turn around for me so I can that gorgeous ass while I fuck you from behind.”

You turned over, getting on your hands and knees instantaneously feeling a pleasurable sting from Bucky’s hand on your cheek. He quickly soothed the pain by rubbing his hand over the red mark before gliding up your spine to softly rub your back. 

He slowly slid back in through your folds eliciting a moan from you both. His pelvis slapping against your soft skin, the sound echoing lewdly through the room. Your arms gave out and your face buried into the sheets under you letting Bucky hit deeper inside you making you nearly scream.

You threw your head back up covering your mouth to muffle the moans. Bucky bit his lip harshly in an attempt but wasn’t as successful as you were. His hips snapped violently, stuttering every now and then as he got closer to a release. 

“God, Buck! I’m gonna cum! Fuck!” you whined.

“Shit,” Bucky groaned before spilling inside you, coating your walls with hot cum. 

He fell forward pressing soft kisses to your slightly sweaty skin. He lifted himself and turned you around, settling between your legs lazily kissing you in your post sex bliss. You looked so pretty with your hair spread out on the sheets and the marks that littered your neck and your breasts. He truly fell in love with you and you did for him too. 

“Y/n,” he whispered looking intimately into your eyes.

“Bucky,” you whispered back with a grin.

“I lo-”

“Hey, Buck. I’ve been looking for- What the fuck!” Steve barged through the door to find you two nude in each other's arms. You tucked your face in your shoulder away from the door in shame and Bucky saw red. He reached above your head immediately and threw as hard as he could at the intruder.

“Get out!” 

Steve slammed the door shut with wide eyes and furrowed brows. Did he see what he thinks he saw? He went to the lab to look for Tony. 

“Hey, Tony, do you know about Y/n and Bucky?”

“Excuse me?” he sassed.

“I uh- I found them together. In Buck’s room. Uh... naked.” 

Tony slowly raised his head with an evil expression staring directly into Steve making the big super soldier feel timid. 

“What!”

You and Bucky cleaned yourselves up and changed as soon as Steve left. You sat next to each other on his bed unsure of what’s to come next. 

“Maybe Steve won’t say anything?” Bucky shrugged.

“My dad’s gonna kill me,” you sighed.

“Hey, I won’t let him-”

“Get the hell away from my daughter!” Tony shouted slamming the door to Bucky’s bedroom opened; behind him stood and guilty Steve and you felt rage.

“You fucking told on us!” you spiraled fire around your fingers ready to fight for revenge. Your hands and arms glowed bright red and orange and yellow and pits of fire glowed in your eyes. Steam practically

“Hey calm down,” Bucky grabbed your waist. He stepped in front you and lifted your chin to look at him. The second your eyes met with his, your entire body cooled down and you felt yourself fall in the ocean that are his eyes; as if a wave had dissipated the fire you created. 

“Hey, what the hell is going on?” Tony fumed.

“Leave her alone. She has nothing to do with this,” Bucky defended.

“The hell she does. You’re sleeping with my daughter!”

“I’m not talking about this; I’m talking about what we have. If it was anyone else, you wouldn’t be having a cow,” Bucky growled. 

“Tony,” you stepped forward.

“Dad,” you whispered; Tony's eyes snapped to yours. 

“Please, I love him.”

“No,” he couldn’t accept it.

“Well, whether or not you like it, we’re gonna be together.”

“I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen.”

“We’ll just keep sneaking around like we have been for months.”

“Months!”

“Yes, months. And it would’ve been longer if it wasn’t for you!” you pointed at Steve, who casted his eyes away in guilt.

“Dad, please. I love Bucky so much; and you’re not going to take him away from me,” you cried. 

Tony noticed how sincere you spoke. And the way he easily calmed you down; he knew there was love between you two. He wouldn’t be to live with himself if he took something that clearly made you so happy away from you. As much as he couldn’t move past his issues with Bucky he knows that Bucky was right and that this has nothing to do with you. 

“I don’t want any more accidents with walking in your private time. You’re lucky it was Steve and not me; I would’ve killed you both on the spot,” he said to you.

“Thank you, Dad,” you hugged him tightly before going back to Bucky’s side. 

“And you; if you so much as put her in a bad mood, I’ll fucking kill you,” Tony said before leaving.

“Well, well, well,” Bucky looked at Steve.

“Bucky, leave him alone; it’s not like he almost ruined our lives and tore us apart,” you chuckled.

“Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t think freak out like that,” Steve apologized.

“And why didn’t you lock the door?” he asked.

“Yeah, why didn’t you?” you looked at Bucky with furrowed brows. 

“Don’t turn on me, this is not my fault!” Bucky defended as you and Steve shared a laugh.

“Well, I’m happy for you guys. You’re good together,” Steve smiled before walking out and closing the door. 

“Wow, Toyn fucking terrifying when he’s in dad mode,” Bucky turned to you.

“Yeah, but he’ll come around.”

“I love you too, by the way.”

“I love you, Bucky.”

==========================

ᴛᴀɢʟɪsᴛ: (For all my work)

@mathletemadison​

@buckybarnes101​

@l-sofiamia-l 

@Pluto-grl 

Taglist?

[babymetaldoll]

Family probation period (Matthew Gray Gubler/ Reader)

Requested: Yes 

Summary: Matthew Gray Gubler meets his girlfriend’s family on Christmas eve. Just one detail: none of them knew she was dating. 

Warnings: Cursing, mentions of abusive relationships 

Category: Fluff

Pairing: Matthew Gray Gubler/ Reader 

Wordcount: 3,5K

A/N: A late Christmas story, but I think we are still in the holiday season... right? also: requests are officially open

Masterlist 

- 

- "Are you sure about this?"- (Y/N) looked at Matthew and he nodded with a huge grin on his face. They were parked outside her parent’s house. They had driven from Los Angeles to San Francisco to spend Christmas Eve with them. 

- "Why not? I bet they are gonna love me"- he answered with his “Matthew Gray Gubler’s certified to make you drop your panties smile.”

- "I don’t know, I’m nervous"

- "Well missy, it was your idea to drop by your parents and surprise them with the news of your adorable boyfriend, so?"- (Y/N) smiled and nodded. 

- "And you thought it was a great idea, by the way, that's why you are here"

- "Yeah"- Gubler sighed and looked outside- "Why do you still trust my good judgment?" 

- "Well…"- (Y/N) looked at me and bit her lips- "You are very convincing"- he smiled and kissed her lips softly.

- "It's gonna be ok, they love you, I love you, which means we are gonna get along"- she nodded and smiled. 

- "Alright, I'll pretend that makes sense"- Gubler chuckled and kissed her again

- "Let's do this, Bunny".

-

Matthew and (Y/N) had been dating for over ten months. At first, they decided to take things slow, get to know each other better, try to make things work with their crazy schedules. But soon, they realized they had fallen in love, and “taking things slow” was not their thing. 

(Y/N) had decided to wait for the right moment to tell her parents she had found someone. Her last relationship had been a nightmare, and she knew her family (especially her brother) was going to be apprehensive about her new boyfriend. However, she was eager to tell them how happy she was with Matthew and how great he was with her. 

He was, hands down, the best boyfriend she had ever had. He was sweet and thoughtful. Sure, he wasn’t perfect. He would forget many things 'cos his head was in hundredth places at once (she was almost sure he had ADHD). And sometimes it felt she had a boyfriend and a son all wrapped in the same 6 ft adorable manchild she was dating. But still, he was the best boyfriend.

She was hoping her parents and family would see he made her happy.   

-

- “Ok, here we go”- Matthew rang the bell and turned to (Y/N), excited. She laughed and opened the door.

- “I still got my key.”

- “Right.”

- “Hello? Mom? Dad?”- she took a step inside and looked around. Her father stood up from the couch quickly and nearly ran to the door.

- “Peanut! You are home!”

Matthew smiled and held their bags staring at the scene. In all the time they had been together, he had heard a lot about (Y/N)’s parents. She loved them deeply, and he knew she wanted to share their relationship with them.

Her last boyfriend was an abuser, he hit her, and she kept it from everybody for months before breaking up. That’s why he could understand why her family would be apprehensive. And he was ready to show them how much he loved her.

- “My baby is home!”- (Y/N)’s mom appeared from the kitchen and hugged her daughter, who was still wrapped in her father’s embrace. 

- “Guys! I can’t breathe!”- she pretended to be suffocating and giggled. 

- “Too bad! You are never home! So bear with it!”- her father chuckled and kissed the top of her head 

- “By the way, (Y/N), who’s the man standing by the door?”- her mother asked and frowned, looking at Gubler. He smiled and waved, making his best to look as nice as possible. 

- “Guys, I want you to meet Matthew Gray Gubler… my boyfriend.”

And the silence in the room was as thick and uncomfortable as possible.

- “Hello”- Gubler smiled and shook their hands- “It’s a pleasure to meet you, (Y/N) talks so much about you”- but neither of them knew what to say. 

- “Guys, it’s ok, he is a good guy”- (Y/N) wrapped an arm around Matthew, and he immediately kissed the top of her head. 

- “Did I hear my sister has a new boyfriend?”- footsteps coming down the stairs surprised the couple, and (Y/N) wide opened her eyes immediately.

- “Adam!! You are home!!”- she hugged her brother so tight, he couldn’t help but laugh.

- “I’ve got the feeling you missed me.”

- “So fucking much!! When did you get home?”

- “Last night, mom said you’d be coming for Christmas, so I thought I could surprise you.”

- “And where are my nephews? I wanna spoil my babies!”

- “With Emma getting the last few things mom needed from the grocery’s, but they should be here any minute. I missed you, kitty.”

Adam kissed her forehead and looked at her sweetly. It was clear he loved and cared about his little sister. But as soon as his eyes reached Matthew, his whole face changed. 

- “And who is this?”  

- “This is my boyfriend, Matthew”- (Y/N) walked back to Gubler and held his hand- “He is awesome, so be nice, ok?”

- “Nice to meet you, Adam. (Y/N) talks so much about you. I was looking forward to meeting you”- Matthew shook his hand and smiled. 

- “Funny, she never mentioned you.”

- “Yeah,”- (Y/N) explained- “I wanted to give you guys a surprise, and I knew if I told you over the phone, you were going to stress out, so I thought it would be better if you just met him”

Her family nodded but didn’t look pretty convinced. 

- “I know you are all real apprehensive about (Y/N) having a new boyfriend, but I promise you, I’m nothing like her ex, and I wanna show you how much I care for her if you let me.”

Gubler was sincere and upfront. (Y/N)’s parents nodded, but her brother just crossed his arms and frowned.  

- “Adam, be nice”- she warned and grabbed her bag- “Let’s leave these in my room, Gub.”

- “You are not sharing rooms with a boy!”- her brother instantly replied, but she ignored him and walked upstairs. Matthew took the bags from her hands and followed her.

-

- “Sorry”- (Y/N) whispered and closed her eyes, embarrassed. Gubler left the bags on the floor of her room and walked towards her to hold her hands. 

- “Hey, it’s ok, they are just shocked,”- he whispered and smiled at her, trying his best to make her feel better. 

- “I would be shocked too if our daughter walks into our house and tells us she has been dating nearly a year with some guy I’ve never heard about.”

(Y/N) chuckled and sighed. The words “Our daughter” had been enough to make her forget everything that troubled her. The idea of a future with him was too sweet to worry about anything else. 

- “Now, back to what really matters here”- Gubler took a look around and pointed at the walls- “Did you have some kind of obsession with My Chemical Romance growing up, or is it just me?”

- “Eh… nope”- she simply answered and laughed. There were many posters of the band on every wall in that room. 

- “I don’t know, I’m getting the vibe you had a thing on that guy… he kinda looks like a vampire.”

- “Gerard? he was…”- (Y/N) made a pause and looked at the walls- “I had a little crush on him”

- “Little?”- Gubler raised an eyebrow

- “Yeah, just a little, nothing to worry about… I just wanted to marry him, that’s all.”- he chuckled and leaned in to kiss her.  

- “I guess you never know someone until you walk into their teenage room.”

Matthew was nervous, but he was never going to face it. He wanted to make a good impression, and he wanted (Y/N)’s parents to like him. He was in that relationship for the long run, and it was important for him to have her parent’s approval. And clearly, now her brother’s too.

-

- “So, Matthew, what do you do?”- Adam asked him as everybody gathered in the kitchen, drinking eggnog and setting the last few things for the Christmas dinner. 

- “I majored in film directing in New York University’s Tisch School of the Arts"- (Y/N) bit her lips and smiled. She was torn between feeling embarrassed and enjoying the moment.  

- “Film directing”- Adam looked at him and raised an eyebrow. 

- “Yeah, I always loved making movies and telling stories”- Gubler sipped his cup of coffee and smiled. 

- “But, do you have a regular job?”- Adam asked and raised an eyebrow- “Making movies doesn’t sound like a real job to me.”

- “Adam!”- (Y/N) looked at her brother with daggers in her eyes

- “What? I’m getting to know your boyfriend, isn’t that what you wanted?”

- “Yes, but you don’t have to be a dickhead”- the young woman walked a few steps closer to her brother and raised an eyebrow- I haven’t seen you in six months. Can you just be nice?”

Adam meant no harm, but he was worried. He had been the one his sister called after her ex-boyfriend hit her. He had been the one who took her out from that apartment, picked up her things, and took care of her. Of course, he was scared she might get hurt again. 

-

- “And where are you from?”- (Y/N)’s mom asked him as they all walked to the living room and sat down. 

- “Las Vegas,”- Matthew answered and smiled- “My family still lives there, and we visit as often as we can.”

- “So, you’ve met his family”- Mrs. (Y/L/N) looked at her daughter and raised an eyebrow, surprised. 

- “Yeah, they are the best! We spent Halloween with them this year. We took Matthew’s nephews trick and treating. It was really fun!”

Mrs. (Y/L/N) nodded and stared at the scene. Gubler was sitting next to her daughter, holding her hand and looking at her in honest and deep adoration. It was strange and shocking, but at the same time, she could feel he was a nice guy who loved her very much. And that was all she needed to know. 

Meanwhile, Mr. (Y/L/N) started asking Gubler questions about his family, school, and what he did for a living. 

- “Right now, I have an acting job.” 

- “Really?”- (Y/N)’s brother raised an eyebrow, surprised- “TV?”

- “Yeah.”

Adam was about to keep asking about it when his wife, Emma, walked in with their five-year-old twins.   

- “Aunt (Y/N)!!

- “Munchkins!”- the young woman opened her arms and hugged them at the same time as the kids held her legs tight, almost making her fall.

- “You are so big! why aren’t you two babies anymore?”

- “(Y/N)! hey”- Emma walked over and looked at her, but suddenly she just gasped. 

- “What?”- Adam asked, confused- “What is it?”

- “Oh shit!”- she nearly dropped the bag and wide opened her eyes, suddenly- “Why is Spencer Reid in our living room?”

Matthew looked at (Y/N), and neither of them knew what to do or say. So he just stood up and walked over to shake her hand. 

- “Hi, I’m Matthew, (Y/N)’s boyfriend.”

- “No freaking way!”- Emma whispered and held his hand, repeating a little slowlier- “No freaking way”. 

Adam looked at his wife and didn’t understand a word she was saying. His parents didn’t get what was going on, and (Y/N) just bit her lips, trying not to laugh. She never thought that could happen. 

- “I’m gonna put an eye on dinner…”- Mrs. (Y/L/N) said and stood up- “(Y/N), can you give me a hand?”

- “Sure mom”- she said and smiled at Gubler. He winked and watched her walking to the kitchen with her mom. Things were a little weirder than he thought. 

- “Ok, what was that?”

- “What was what, mom?

- “Emma nearly died when she saw Matthew. Why?”

- “‘Cos he is in a tv show and she recognized him, I think”- Mrs. (Y/L/N) looked at her and sighed.

- “Is he good with you?”

- “The best”

- “‘Cos he looks like he is a nice guy”

- “I swear, mom, he is the sweetest. He wanted to come and meet you to show you he is nothing like Bret”- (Y/N) held a bowl with roasted potatoes and smiled at her mother- “I love him”

- “You can tell… and he loves you too, especially if he is willing to put up with your brother”

- “Can you tell Adam to stop being an ass?”

- “I can tell him, but that won’t stop him”.

-

When (Y/N) walked to the dining room, she looked at her boyfriend, who was now sitting on the floor, doing magic tricks for her nephews. She felt her heart was about to burst, staring at the scene. The twins were laughing, and Gubler kept making pennies disappear in front of them. 

She couldn’t stop hearing his voice saying “our daughter” over and over again. It was a dream, and it was too soon to even think about it, but it felt so right. It made so much sense.

- “I like him”- her father’s voice took her from her thoughts and forced her to turn around

- “Really?”

- “Yeah… he’s good with kids, and it’s clear he loves you, that’s all I need to know”- he kissed the top of his daughter’s head and sighed. 

- “Your brother hates him though”

- “I kind of figured”

- “The fact Emma is drooling over him is not making things better”- (Y/N) looked at her father and just laughed.

- “Are you kidding me?”

- “No, he took her upstairs to cool her off”

- “Shit… well, it could be worst” 

- “How?”- she looked at her father in silence

- “Well… Adam hasn’t tried to kick him out”

- “Yet”- Mr. (Y/L/N) chuckled at his own joke and shook his head- “Don’t worry peanuts, Matt is safe”. 

- “Actually, can you not call him Matt, please? bad memories.”

- “Sure, Matthew it is?”- she nodded and smiled. 

- “Thanks dad”

-

- “Dinner is ready”- Mrs. (Y/L/N) announced after half an hour. She walked to the living room where Adam, Matthew, and her husband were talking. 

Gubler was having a good time talking with Mr. (Y/L/N). He was fun and kept telling her funny stories about (Y/N). Adam was still a dick, but at least his father wasn’t paying him much attention, so neither did Gubler. 

- “This smells amazing”- Gubler said as he sat down next to (Y/N)- “I’m guessing this is Mrs. (Y/L/N) ’s signature turkey recipe. (Y/N) talked about it the whole way over.” 

- “She has the recipe, by the way, if you like it, she can cook it for you”- Mrs. (Y/L/N) smiled proudly.  

- “Yeah, just make sure she won’t burn down the house”- Adam joked and felt his sister’s angry eyes on him- “What? I’m making an aimless conversation. Isn’t that what you wanted?” 

- “Shut up”

- “She is a great baker”- Matthew continued talking- “She is actually making me gain weight in the latest months”

- “Sure, like you could get fat”- (Y/N) snorted and looked at her boyfriend

- “Hey, you are making me eat cinnamon rolls, cake, and cookies like three times a week”- Gubler chuckled and looked at her- “My pants almost don’t close”

- “So, Matthew”- Emma said suddenly- “How did you two meet?”

- “He actually said I smelled like cinnamon rolls the first time he met me”- (Y/N) smiled and looked at her sister in law.

- “We met at a party, her friend Ana is dating my friend Charlie. And when I saw her, I knew I had to talk to her ‘cos she has the most gorgeous smile I’ve ever seen”- Emma was nearly sighing at those words.

- “And did you recognize him?”- Adam was embarrassed by his wife’s questions, but he couldn’t stop her. 

- “No, I had never seen the show…”

- “And do you know the rest of the cast now? Do you hang out?”- Adam looked at Emma and frowned- “What? I’m just asking”

(Y/N) blushed and closed her eyes. She took a deep breath and felt her boyfriend’s hand on hers, knowing what she was about to say. 

- “So, we are here today because I wanted you to know Matthew. He is the best guy on earth, and he makes me happy every day”- she made a pause and looked at him. 

- “You make me happy too, Bunny”- he whispered and smiled. 

- “Ok, so you are in love, is that what you wanted to tell us?”- Adam said with an annoyed voice.

- “No, we wanted to tell you we are moving in together.”

(Y/N) bit her lips after delivering the news. Her parents looked at each other but didn’t seem mad, just surprised. Adam, on the other hand, frowned immediately. 

- “Before you start freaking out and yell at me,”- Matthew said with a soft voice- “I need you to know and understand how much I love your sister, and I would never hurt her in any way. Never.”

Her family looked at him in silence. Her father nodded and smiled. 

- “It’s clear you are a good guy, Matthew,”- he said, and (Y/N) sighed, feeling relieved to hear those words- “And I know you understand we will always be a little scared something bad might happen to our baby again.”

- “I completely understand. I just want you to know I will never hurt her. I love her, I wanna live with her. I’m here for the long run, and I wish you could all give me a chance”. 

(Y/N) felt like crying when she heard those words. Matthew was telling her family how much he loved her. He was showing them he wanted to be with her. Nothing could be better than that. 

- “And have you thought about where you’ll live?”- her mother asked, smiling.

- “I recently bought a house,”- Matthew explained- “We are planning to move in after the holidays. Meanwhile, we’ve been busy getting a few things we needed”- he looked so happy, no one could doubt he was excited with the plans. 

- “Listen”- no one but Adam, apparently- “If anything happens to my sister, I’m gonna hunt you, I will find you, and I will make you pay.” 

- “Adam…”- she tried to argue, but Gubler smiled at her and nodded

- “I know there is nothing I can say that will make you believe me, so I will just ask you to give me the chance to show you how much I love her.”- but Adam didn’t say a word. 

- “I know what happened to her was awful, and I know you don’t want anyone hurting her, but that’s not what I wanna do. I just wanna make her happy. If she wants me to.”

Adam looked at his sister, who had tears in her eyes. He couldn’t bear to see her cry, though those weren’t sad tears. She looked at Matthew, and he smiled at her, wiping the tears from her cheeks and kissing her lips sweetly for a second. He whispered, “I love you,” and she giggled. 

- “Oh come on!”- Mr. (Y/L/N)- “Even I can see he loves your sister! stop being a dick and be happy for them!”- Adam sighed at his father’s words and stood up.  

- “If you fuck it up, you are dead”- he said and reached out his hand to Gubler- “But I trust you won’t”- and Matthew quickly stood up and shook it. 

- “I know you just want to take care of her, and I completely understand that”

- “You are in family probation period.” 

(Y/N) smiled at her brother, and he winked at her. Finally, she sighed, relieved. 

- “I can’t believe you are gonna move in with Dr. Reid!!”- Emma almost shrieked

- “Please don’t”- Adam frowned and looked at his wife- “Don’t make this harder”

- “You are gonna have to watch the show with me, you are gonna love it. I swear you won’t be able to hate him once you know Reid”

(Y/N) looked at Matthew and whispered in his ear. 

- “Your family wasn’t embarrassing. Mine was. I’m sorry”- he nearly laughed at those words and shook his head. 

- “My friends are embarrassing if it counts”

- “Your friends are my friends, Gubler”

- “Fine, we have embarrassing friends, we are gonna have to live with it”

Gubler moved a little closer, and was ready to kiss her when Adam’s voice stopped him. 

- “Just don’t make out with my sister in front of me while you are on probation, dude!”

- “Sorry!”- Gubler nearly jumped on his chair, and (Y/N) chuckled- “Sorry!”. 

[crys-cornflakez]

hiii i would like to hear about these ocs you speak of… if you don’t mind!

Omg omg omg okay someone actually asking about them makes me so legitimately happy 😭😭💕 thank you

For context:

Spidernote was a fanfiction I wrote in middle school about live action light turner, Peter Parker, and regular light yagami and Zac Efron going to high school together. I’m not sure why or how it started. It was supposed to be this joke or prank or smth on my friend but idk how???? Lmao. But I grew too starched to the characters and they became near unrecognizable from any source material and I’ve been rotating them in my head for years like a little eternal microwave plate.

(I apologize in advance. Some of this will be told through screenshots because last time I tried to copy and paste my Tumblr crashed 💀)

Leon and Lottie

This relationship is a bit iffy but I believe I still did alright haha.

They look very similar and they’re both very extroverted people.

But I also enjoy the alliteration here, both focus on L.

Saying Lo and Lee together brings to mind the ideas of Nabokov’s Lolita (and his use of ‘master hand’ throughout is something I’d want to mimic, to make the artist intrinsic to the work) (sorry im just ramblinfnffdhdh)

Oh! Their sounds are also mirrors here as well!!! Leon (eee-oh) and Lottie (oh-eee) (although hers is more of an ah/aw)

The main focus though is on the double L, they’re connected. They’re similar.

(Also Charlotte has French origins and Le is the in French so)

Leon and Agnus

Agnus may seem like the odd one out of the bunch here and she very much is. She’s been separated from reality/the rest of the world on and off again the past few years and is very different from others.

But my favorite thing here is this:

Leon means Lion but Agnus means Lamb. Like ISNT THAT SO COOL!!!!!!! I could go into their dynamic and how that relates but aghheheh

Agnus and Lo

Charlotte is actually a diminutive of Charles and means "free man" and "petite"

The focus here is on petite. Lottie is obsessed with her self presentation and her execution of femininity. She feels inadequate as a woman. Agnus is the opposite and has lost her ability to truly care about anything. The idea of being little/small is something that drives Lo a lot in her search to be the perfect woman. Agnus represents pureness and chastity (lamb symbolism as well as name meaning). Anyways i could write a lot here about the two views and performances on/of feminity and actually how el and Leon execute masculinity differently and how that’s a connecting point between them and aghhahhh)

(Info abt Elliot I wrote to myself in the iOS notes app when I was insane:)

ELLIOT RAMBLINGZ

elliot did not grow up in a stable environment. his parents weren't exactly poor but they aren't like rich. he lives with his mom and her brother so his uncle but they weren't super stabel because his father died in military service when he was young. he grew up in a not great neighborhood. part of the military service is like elliot's grandparents were immigrants from china i still have to flesh out stuff. it was about the idea he had to earn his place in the united states...anywayz he has like really messed up views on masculinity because his father died "bravely" in combat and his mother and uncle had really high expectations and he just never was that good at school and his uncle never liked that he was so weak and frail. he didn't have the best constitution. as a kid he'd get sick a lot and not interract with others. he felt like he had to fend for himself a lot growing up and constantly worried about being part of other's lives but could not find stability. he learned to shut himself up. to suck things up. one very kdfjdlskfjsdf okay sorry like words cant rn. there was an extremely formative experience he had when he was younger of going into a convenience store gas station place and was upset and anyways a gunman bust in and he was held up (along with everyone else in the store) and he froze up, he started to cry and he gave his money to the guy ebcause he was so scared. and his uncle was not happy and bad stuff happened sorry this makes me sound so dumb and lame im like "erm i have such ocol charactersz" but theyerelrkelkh

anyeays ermm he was physically abused and traumatized but felt so insecure about not being brave like those around him, not protecting himself. his whole life he was called not a real man, he wasn't brave enough or strong enough. he's seen people hurt people he liked, people he had once liked hurt him. the earth hurt too much. he is like one of those cynical edgy teenage boys who's not exactly an incel but like you know the vobeim talking about? he hates himself. he feels like hes not enough and is constantly suffering under this toxic idea of masculinity and projecting an image of strength despite being scared. but he projects all of this insecurity outward. he can't trust people. he sees any kindness as faking he sees niceness as all for a manipulative reason and he projects it as like violence sometiems like he genuinely ahas thought about killing people but is too much of a "coward" to actually do it. He’s not a great person but he’s caught in this constant spiral.

erm but anywayz its going to utilize a lot of the techniques established by nabokov in lolita and marquez in 100 yrs of solitude. these are the characters, but its kind of like a story about the individual who would write this. interlaced throughout is the idea of writing, the impossibility of what's written. these are characters in a story (not going completely into brecht's Verfremdungseffekt but definitely pulling attention into how the ideas and temperments of an individual influence the work.) how the ideas of story is magic, how storytellers take part in stories and how audiences take part of them. this is actually very similar to some of the topics addressed by ryukishi in the no naku koro ni (wtc) series especially in umineko. and spidernotes like ties into this idea of identity in story...which retroactively its just...really cool....spider (weaving webs, creation, the tangled and complex nature of the self) and notes (stories, ideas, writing) the transfixing of the soul into the written form...like. like all of the characters have a piece of me (me as in the personnae of an author, as in the narrator in a sense, even if me isn't the narrator) i as a creator and fundamentally tied to this. this may seem in contradiction to barthes "le mort d'author" (the death of the author) and his post-structuralist ideas to connect my work so intrinsically with my life, but i disagree. i find lolita, for example, to be an extremely post-modernist work. they are ideas that can be interpreted beyond their logical symbols. the story is not without this ability for interpretation, like that,, it's about inrerpretation and kdjfkdjfh the mutability of peoprkerek. though i do need to look bsck on the ideas of literary theory as posited by the framework fathers of modernism,,cannot remember his name. i believe it was richard. in a sense i wonder if brecht would think in a more modernist perspective rather than postmodernist because the initial language of symbols (as that is what modernims is based on) would be like bsed on the dichotomy of theatre vs life. like the idea of modernism is very interesting, especially, liek the dichotomiy sorry OFF TOPIC OF MY OWN RANT.

Writing them out makes my ideas seem very shallow lmaoo 😭😭😭

But anywhozzley, literally every part of this stuff pretty much has a thematic or character reason for existence. Like their appearances aren’t arbitrary and each choice is deliberate and. I just have thought about them too much and literally any questions about them or this concept or what the story is about I shall cherish forever. So feel free to analyze or critique or comment or ask questions because this made me so happy to have an excuse to talk about them but also obviously you don’t have to. Thank you 😭😭😭😭

(Agnes and Leon. They never have the right hair texture for them it’s so sad. Their hair is more curly😔)

[pascalina]

The brothers' movie

11/07/2015

They don't use the same last name, but they are siblings. Pedro Pascal (40) the Chilean actor who starred in Game of Thrones and now has a starring role in the Netflix series Narcos, uses his mother's surname because it is easier to pronounce in English. 17 years younger, Lucas Balmaceda Pascal (23), also an actor, debuted in Los 80 and today stars in the TVN series Juana Brava. Here, both talk for the first time about their relationship, their love for cinema and their mutual admiration.

José Pedro Balmaceda Pascal was born in Chile, but a few months later he had to go into exile with his parents and his older sister, Javiera, to Denmark. It was the end of 1975. Thanks to the Rockefeller scholarship granted for his father, the doctor José Balmaceda Riera, a year later they moved to the United States: first they lived in San Antonio, Texas. Life there was just beginning and it was not easy.

Seventeen years later, in 1992, Lucas Balmaceda was born in Orange County, California, into the comfort of a family that was financially in its prime. His dad was at the peak of his career: as a fertility specialist and director of one of the University of California's reproductive health centers. But suddenly they moved back to Chile when Lucas was three years old and his brother Nicolas was eight. The two older ones stayed there. Pedro was already studying drama at Orange County High School of the Arts. Then he went to New York to study theater at the Tisch School of the Arts at New York University.

After a couple of small appearances in TV series, in 2014 he took the big leap in his career: he played Prince Oberyn in Game of Thrones, which made him world famous. Today, he has a starring role in the series Narcos. He is also filming a movie with Matt Damon and Willem Dafoe.

Fame came early for Lucas. After leaving Saint George High School in 2010, he studied theater at the Universidad Católica, and he began to shine: in year fourth, he starred in the theater play "La noche obstinada", by choreographer Pablo Rotemberg, and got a role in the successful television series Los 80 and today, in his last year, he is the co-star of Juana Brava, the new TVN nighttime series.

Scene one:

Lucas appears in Pedro's life

P: "I was 17 when Lucas was born. He was a baby when I left to go to university. I remember my first visit back and Lucas, who was not even two years old, was already the owner of the house. I remember those looks, wanting to tell me: 'I don't know who you are, but this is my house, mate.

To this day I have never seen that personality in another child. It was fascinating to see that wit in someone so small. Since he was a kid he had that fierce intelligence... The four siblings, Javiera, the eldest and the queen of the family; Nicolas, the doctor; Lucas and I are like a compact and consistent unit. I can't imagine life without them".

L: "Pedro was studying at the university in New York when I was born. When he went home for vacations to see the family, as I didn't know him, I thought: 'who is this guest, who is this weirdo who kisses my mother? She's mine!'. Back in Chile, every year Pedro came to visit us. It was the most entertaining thing in the world for me. He was much older and he would come with all the coolness, with all the culture of cinema, with horror movies that were not available here. Then we would watch them and play them out, we would do sketches. We would play that Pedro was a murderous monster and we would escape from him. We were each a character. He was very funny, he did voices, he impersonated people. He gets mad when I tell him, but I've always found that he has a Jim Carrey thing about him, he manages to make some impressive faces. When he came on, I couldn't stop watching him, he was too entertaining. We are all big movie buffs thanks to my dad. When I was three years old, he took my brothers and me to see Batman. I remember crying hysterically. I was very young, sensitive, and being in the cinema was like entering to another reality: loud noises, giant screen. I didn't understand anything.

Scene two

Transplanted

P: "What's Chilean about me and what's gringo about me is a very interesting question, because I don't think even at 40 years old I've been able to figure it out. I was raised and educated in the United States and socialized a lot with American pop culture, but Chilean pride has always been unwavering. My parents were exiled for eight years. So our visits to Chile were regular. My whole life I have lived in the United States and my whole life I have visited my relatives in Chile. However, since my siblings were raised in Chile, my connection to the country is much stronger today and it is something I am grateful for. Something that happens to me a lot is that when I say I've been in the U.S. my whole life, they say, "Well, you're a gringo then! And after a conversation in my fluent Spanish with a clear Chilean accent that same person turns around and says: I've been listening to you, you're Chilean!

L: "I am Chilean because I lived and grew up here since I was three years old, but at the same time I have a cultural disconnection: my parents lived 25 years in the United States, my brothers are gringos. My visual culture is super gringo, the TV shows I watched when I was a kid or the movies I watch to this day I understand them from that place: as an American. More than being born in the United States, I feel it's because of my family's background".

SCENE THREE:

The performance

P: "There were good years and bad years (when I started my acting career in the United States). Many years I was a waiter to supplement my income. But from a very young age I was auditioning for professional jobs. In my late twenties my career in the theater was relatively consistent. Then, when opportunities in television arose, I was consolidating and it became much easier to pay my expenses. I think that struggle, going through those situations, empowers you a lot and it's one of the things I'm enormously grateful for. And Game of Thrones was an incredible gift. It's the best role I've ever played and they're the best people I've ever worked with."

L: "It's Pedro's fault that I wanted to be an actor. But when I told him I wanted to study theater it was hard for him, more than anything, because he cares about me and studying theater is hard. You have to be very wise and have a super high self-esteem to take care of yourself. Pedro went through many things. If there is an actor who doesn't have contacts in the United States, it's him. Everything he has achieved is because of his work. That's why when people ask me why I don't go to the U.S., it's a resounding no. Being Pedro Pascal's little brother is not going to get me around the corner; I would have to be Tom Cruise's twin to achieve anything. Even so, Pedro had many failed career starts. In 2011, for example, he was offered a starring role in a series called Wonder Woman and it was eventually canceled. That's why, when Games of Thrones came up, I was like, wow! We were all freaking out, because Games of Thrones is like a worldwide trending topic. All the episodes he was in, we were all watching them together at my house, eating pizza or sushi."

SCENE FOUR:

Mutual lessons

P: "I try not to get too involved in anything Lucas does or how he does it. He has single-handedly created each of his experiences and is one of the most inspiring things I've ever seen. He loves his work and is continually developing his skills for television and theater, and eventually film. He executes like a real artist and, to be honest, it is more common for me to learn something from him than for him to learn something from me. I mean that very sincerely. Lucas reminds me to work hard and keeps me inspired. When I saw him in Los 80 I was incredibly proud, but not surprised. I was seeing something I had always known. The only advice I've given him is to not be such a workaholic, to take care of himself and to be proud of what he's accomplished and what he still has yet to accomplish. Deep down, I'm always going to be the protective big brother."

L: "Pedro is an object of admiration for me. What he says is law for me. Sometimes I ask him: 'Pedro, did you see that movie?' and he says: 'Yes, I didn't like it'. I tell him: 'Oh, I didn't like it either'. The nice thing about our relationship is that it happens so sporadically, once or twice a year, that the moments when we see each other are very intense. We either fight a lot or we love each other too much, but it's always like a story, like a movie. While he's there and I'm here, we talk a lot on WhatsApp and Facebook".

P: "With Lucas we always keep each other up to date on what movies to watch, what TV shows are good. I bug him all the time asking him about what's going on in his life and I'm always asking him about his perspective on things. Despite being away from each other for a long time, Lucas and I are very close and always have been. I see Lucas at the beginning of an amazing career, with an unwavering curiosity and passion. I love it when he confides in me about things he is enjoying or situations he is dealing with."

L: "I've never seen Pedro in theater, but I've been told he's tremendous. On camera, I find that he has a very intense look. He also has, and in that we are very similar, a very strong visual culture, the fact that we have always liked horror movies. He plays characters that hide something, dark characters. A great strength is that he is very sensual, he knows how to handle himself well from seduction".

P: "Lucas is brave, he's fearless. There's nothing he's not willing to try, he's never going to give up on a challenge, he's never going to leave something halfway, no matter what that means to him. Lucas is unstoppable.

Link interview