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Yeah, but I know you well enough. 

You can't like pudge. I'm not allowed to have any pudge until I'm eighty and have a bit of a beer belly. And even then, only maybe. 

I swear these trousers fit me three months ago...

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I still stand by the violence and scaring. 

No. No pudge. I can have no pudge. 

I swear these trousers fit me three months ago...

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No, you can just 'cause you're violent and they're scared of you. 

*winces, rubbing his stomach sadly* ...excuse me while I go work out for three weeks. Straight.

I swear these trousers fit me three months ago...

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I do do that! And then they get angry and accuse me of yelling all the time! Shut up. I am a real captain. 

I - am - not - squishy.

I swear these trousers fit me three months ago...

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I do so play! It's hard to play when they're all just hovering there, not getting anywhere close to throwing any Quaffles at me!

...are you - are you insinuating that I'm...squishy? 

I swear these trousers fit me three months ago...

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Okay - that's just not fair. They all say I always yell, but I only yell when they're being idiots and that's all the time. 

I swear these trousers fit me three months ago...

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Your mocking face is sure telling me to be ashamed - but I'm not, because I'm not pudgy! I'm still Quidditch captain, I work out. 

I swear these trousers fit me three months ago...

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How dare you. I am not!

I swear these trousers fit me three months ago...

The hell happened? 

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I swear these trousers fit me three months ago...

The hell happened? 

[here-comes-the-smoulder]

He crossed his legs quickly as she jabbed her wand at him; half in obedience, half in the automatic-fear reaction of all men when their groin is threatened. He could feel her staring at him, her eyes burning into him with shock, disgust, horror - he wasn’t sure, and he didn’t look at her to check. He didn’t trust himself not to get worked up over her legs again, the navy fabric practically calling out to him that if he just hiked it a few inches higher, if he just slid his hands up those legs, over her hips - no. Not to mention, if he was being honest with himself, her reaction stung a bit. Who wanted to be kicked in the shins and yelled at when the object of their affections found out they were attracted to them? Well, she didn’t know the extent to which he was attracted to her, but still - her reaction didn’t exactly warm the tendrils of his heart. “Just give it a minute, it’s not exactly a snap-and-it-goes-away sort of thing...” he muttered, gritting his teeth as he concentrated on willing away the uncomfortable pressure against his jeans. He could feel the heat rise in his face at the entire situation, but he ignored it. Flynn Rider didn’t blush. 

“M’not a pervert... S’a good thing that I took you, then. You’re going to turn into a pyromaniac with none of us to stop you.” He glanced upwards as the clerk walked towards them, glad that there was something else to focus on besides Audrey and her legs - but then he could see her giving the same once-over that he’d done to plenty of girls over the years, and if he wasn’t trying to hide his problem between his crossed legs, he would’ve stormed across the room to strangle the man. It might’ve been lucky that Aud had taken his wand - he probably would have hexed him, otherwise. The man walked away after a much-too-long moment, and as Flynn took a quick glance at Aud before looking away again, he was at least pleased to note that she had the signature angry glint in her eye that she always had when she was trying not to hit one of them. Although, that may have been for him more than the asshole clerk. He crossed his arms tightly, beginning to feel like a wound-up pretzel as he replied to her distractedly. “Not little boy, stop insinuating that I reacted differently than I should’ve. Any man would’ve. S’not my fault that girls don’t have a visible reaction to attractive people running towards them in next to nothing.”

He sighed, noting in slight relief that the embarrassment of the situation had at least finally lessened his...predicament, and he uncrossed his legs. He kept his expression casual even as his inner Eugene wanted nothing more than to bang his head against the wall repeatedly until he knocked himself out, standing to move towards her without hesitation, pulling her hand away from her mouth. “I wouldn’t have taken your wand if you hadn’t pointed it at me in the first place. Stop biting your fingers, Naveen likes clean fingernails.” The short statement made his chest burn, and he stepped away again to lean against the opposite wall. His eyes focused on the side of her neck for a minute, the sliver of skin marked with the bruise that he’d put there, and the memory of his mouth trailing across that spot made him yank his eyes away to stare at the ceiling; looking at anything but this girl that seemed to have driven him completely and utterly mad. “S’fine. Nothing you haven’t dealt to me before.”

He'd seen Audrey Ramirez in lingerie. She'd sat on his lap in lingerie. She'd also freaked out when she'd felt his reaction to her, and kicked him in the shins, and yelled at him. This was simultaneously one of the best and worst days ever. 

The Final Step || Audrey & Flynn

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