#i still like. existing. i have commitments. but i dont know what. to fucking do. other than just play video games

[oatmealcrisp-freak]

"shipping saiki is aphobic because he's aroace!"

stares at you with my demiromantic asexual in a committed relationship eyes then looks at the camera like im in the office

[trans-estinien]

i am never. ever. opening instagram again.

[arolesbianism]

I am thinking very very hard abt the toy world guys and oh baby I love dropping in disturbing lore bits that are just sorta dripped into the actual plot and otherwise are not explained <3

[somefisher]

Im gonna throw up im sick of feeling awful all the time

[kalashtars]

venting in the tags yippeee

[weirdmageddon]

i posted this on twitter also but it’s still eating at me. i’m so fucking embarrassed to be jewish rn. i dont want to be associated with this ongoing bullshit from israel. why do we need our own state. theyre just making every jew across the globe look bad in general even though many of us are conflicted about zionism and the legitimacy of israel as a state

people have hated jews throughout history for no fuckin reason but now israel exists but now its like. GIVING people reasons to hate us as a group. note that i DON’T conflate zionism with jewishness, but a lot of people in the world don’t know the difference because theyre uninformed and been dripfed cultural antisemitic tropes their whole life and that’s the scary part is them falsely putting two and two together. like what the fuck israel stop youre just putting fuel on the fire for people around the world to hate an entire group of historically persecuted people if youre being this shitty with your insane colonialism and apartheid like……I Want No Fuckin Part Of This. you’re spelling our own doom. you cant just swoop in and go “mine now” and then oppress the people you took land from under a regime without my blood boiling at the injustice no matter WHO you are. even if my lineage is tied to you. so when news outlets support israel it doesn’t feel like they have the best interest of jews as a people in mind. it’s in the interest of a zionist ethnostate and whatever that christian zionism belief is about the jewish people returning to the holy land as prerequisite for the second coming of jesus. its not like they care about us as a dispersed ethnocultural group, it’s all for that religious narrative that a bunch of people in the US are backing.

saying you want all jews to die is antisemitic. beating someone up because they’re jewish and no other reason without knowing their views is antisemitic. criticizing human rights violations perpetrated by israel and the belief that one group deserves more rights another is not antisemitic. and the fact that israel has the ability to pull that antisemitism card in response to criticisms of the violations they commit because their state is the “jewish homeland” drives me fucking insane. take fucking accountability for your actions. and yes, there do exist full-on anti-jewish groups in the middle east that go beyond hatred of israel’s policies and existence as a state and i’m tired of people pretending there aren’t in fear of appearing to seem like they support the state of israel. on the other side of things many people overestimate this by fearmongering and saying EVERY arab is out to get jews worldwide, telling people like me “they want YOU dead”. this is not the belief every person in the middle east and it really rubs me the wrong way that people group millions of individuals into all-encompassing lumps like this. many people there do understand nuance of this political situation.

even if i have that “right of return” by israeli law or whatever, i don’t feel obliged to it; it does not register as fair. why do i have a “right of return” when i’ve never even been there in the first place while palestinians who have homes there can’t return to them? what’s the basis for that? substituting objective reality with an imaginary reality? i don’t think like that. i can hypothetically come and go whenever i please but palestinians are severely limited in mobility? what makes me more entitled to that land than the people who lived there for centuries? nothing that comes from natural law thats for sure. it’s all artificial and inflated.

but at the same time i also dont want to be the target of antisemitism and caught in the fray just for being ethnically jewish. once people start calling for the genocide of entire groups we’ve got issues (and you better believe this absolutely applies to the palestinian victims in gaza too), because people who dissent to the violence perpetrated by the loudest are caught in there with the people who are perpetrating the violence. lack of nuance. people conflating israel and its zionist apartheid policies with jewish ethnicity and culture worldwide. other people conflating being terrorist anti-jew with muslims worldwide (like that 6-year old palestinian-american boy that was just stabbed to death in chicago). scary times man. but as a jew i can’t just opt out of this if it’s how i was born as. i don’t have control over that. but i can control what i think and what my beliefs are

[that-starry-freak]

Yknow what? I have to rant about this this has been eating me up for forever. Fuck confessions I'm going to do this here.

I fucking hate old moon

Do I love his sass? Yes. Do I love how Reed plays him most of the time? Yes. Do I love how he interacts with other characters? Yes!

Do I like him as a "person" and for what hes done? Absolutley not. He abused Sun, and when he found out the daycare exploded his first reaction was to be upset because THE STICK HE WOULD ROUTINLY HIT SUN WITH was fucking destroyed. I'm sorry bitch what??? That's disgusting Moon I wish you burned in hell <3

I also absolutely hate that no one saves Nexus

Do I think it was Sun's fault? Absolutely not, he has had way too much shit to deal with. Do I think its Earth's fault? While I think Nexus was absolutely right for calling her out for not being a therapist, she has every right to be upset for him saying he'd kill her. Do I think its the families fault in general? No, Nexus pushed them away and hurt them, they did try.

You know who I do blame? Who should understand Nexus better than anyone? Who even admits partial responsibility for it, and pretty much denies any sort of redemption for Nexus?

Mother fucking Old Moon.

Old moon committed arson. He abused Sun routinely (forcing him to go to dangerous dimensions. Hitting him. Calling him stupid. Having a clear power difference between the two and abusing it). He put his killcode in Sun and is literally the reason Eclipse exists and terrified their family.

But no, Nexus is the one in the wrong. He's the one that will have to do soemthing huge and grovel to be redeemed. Because he threatened the family after having hallucination and literally going insane and mourning his best friend, and feeling like he wasn't good enough and spiraling cause he couldn't bring Solar back, and then joined Dark Sun whos known to be exteemly smart and manipulative. Not Old Moon, who did so much worse. No, he gets to rejoin the family after apologizing and promising to do better (and yes, he is doing better) sure, Sun doesn't forgive him (and im proud of him for admitting that <3 that's very strong of him), but still.

Plus, Nexus is literally the youngest family member. He's a lot younger than Earth and Sun and Moon and Lunar. He isn't Sun's twin, and he isn't Earth's older brother. He is the youngest. And that should be addressed, because that means he is much more immature. He hasn't had all the time to grow up like the rest of them have. Moon has had years to grow as a person. Nexus has had a year.

Anyway, tldr. I dont blame the family for what happened to Nexus, I blame Old Moon

Also sorry for bad spelling or grammar or autocorrect or whatever, I'm not rereading this

ALSO THIS IS NOT FOR DEBATE. I AM RANTING ABOUT MY OPINION, IF YOU DO NOT AGREE, PLEASE JUST SCROLL PAST I DONT HAVE THE ENERGY TO ARGUE. YOU ARE ENTITLED TO YOUR OWN OPINION AND SO AM I ♡♡

[simplydnp]

idk why this matters to me but in the last few months they've been acknowledging so many things I never ever thought they would. pinof and the touching. the phude multiple times. dapc slime (ok they had merch to sell for that one but still)

no but actually. phil literally said 'i thought we weren't acknowledging it' about the phude and now they just bring it up all the time.

pinof reacts... i still can't believe we're in a post pinof-reacts universe. how did that happen. i was changed permanently--like something shuffled in my dna when i got the notif for pinof reacts 1. this is not a physical reaction but a chemical one that cannot be undone. for something that was so... sacred. and integral. to their existence and history. pinof wasn't generally talked about unless it was pinof time. and even then it was 'it'll be up soon' or 'we just posted it' and then Never talked about outside of that. especially not the first one! we freak out about the We Know You Know in the newsletter but it's Always been like that with pinof 1. so to see them--new (& natural 🥺) hair for them both, in a house they bought and built together, in the first few months of giving the gaming channel a second chance--reflect on how it all began? absolutely devastating. and to lean into moments and discuss them in new ways. in territory previously not breached! the 'they're toUching'?!?!? the '11 hour fuck session'!?!? the '£9000 champagne'?!?!? like hey we're not supposed to talk about that, dan and phil might see!! shhh!! but they're the ones saying it!! absolutely wild.

in a way, it had to happen. especially with where we're at now (them literally selling merch of them holding hands). in order for them to move beyond that... mindset? i guess? that a lot of fans had, they had to defang it. i really see it as one of the biggest walls they've broken down in the way they communicate with us. the 'hey. it's okay. we've seen it. it's not a big deal. we will absolutely make fun of you for it though. but we're good.'

i'm just really curious whose idea it was. (lbr it was probably phil given dans not a react kinda guy. but i'd be lying if i said i didn't want to be in the room where it happened when they talked about actually doing it or not, and what it would mean) (big ad revenue thats for sure 🤣 get it kings)

i will never be able to get phil's 'they touched' out of my head and at this point i wouldn't want to. it's absolutely earned. and i guess it makes me a masochist to enjoy the psychic damage it inflicts on me, but such is life i suppose.

the crafts mention really surprised me! i had contemplated a few different scenarios in how they'd go about it, and i'll be honest i feel like they could've committed to the bit a little more but they're forgiven. like what about glitchy interstitials! cuts to the merch website. found footage inserted between sections! i recognize they don't want to 'scare' their usual audience wirh sudden cuts to intense/graphic content but my immersionnn. absolutely shattered by 'oh we have new merch now btw'. cmon boys you love to lie to us. say theres merch up but you dont know where it came from. just that we should buy it 👀 or idk, something clever. and i recognize i may sound like a spoilt brat bc i just got a 14 minute long masterpiece of an unexpected dapc revival, but my immersion. i mean i already bought the merch before they shilled it anyways so it didn't influence me regardless 🤣

ultimately we really are in a new era. even beyond just the revival. i think they're really finding their stride--not only in their content (evidenced by a semi-regular schedule) but also creatively, in doing what they want to do, how they want to do it, and truly not giving that much of a fuck anymore. and i'm really happy for them. phil talked a bit about this in his 'rating my icons' video, where he's kind of decided he doesn't care what people on twitter think, and how it's been good for him, and i think we're seeing that reflected in not only his content, but also the gaming channel. they play what they want. they say what they want. and it's just fun. dan going on the record to say he's really enjoying it makes me so happy to hear, because literally december 2022 he believed he'd disappear after WAD. and now, instead, he gets to play games and make stupid jokes and smile and laugh multiple times a week, and he's really happy about it. he gets to be silly and goofy and crude without having to Stress about it. i keep saying it but they're so settled now. and as someone who's followed them through big changes and turbulent times, getting to see them happy after everything... it brings a lot of hope. and i know theyre millionaires. but there's something to looking at someone you fell in love with 15 years ago the same then as you do now. but instead of it being something scary, something you have to hide, something that feels like it can consume you and everything you have--it gets to be something beautiful. and regular. and embraced. you've read this far you get to listen to me wax poetic about them.

we've been thoroughly boiled and maybe, just maybe, it's warming our hearts too.

[davekat-sucks]

lute x adam is better than davekat and chaggie. they both sound killer singing together.

also just like wish's "villain", I find no fault in adam's reasoning, sinners such as rapists and pedos should be eradicated. i dont give a fuck about how apparently there are random kids in hell to emotionally manipulate the audience, for all we know that could be a grown ass man pretending to be a kid, and maybe that could have been more interesting: to see a hell's citizen take advantage of vaggie's kindness. it'd explain her trust issues & lute's bizarre reaction to actual mercy.

whats up with modern shows/films these days and their weird morals...

Adam x Lute is better than Davekat and Chaggie. Funny enough, Vivziepop confirmed that pedophiles, Nazis, and racists are already wiped out after they died. Like, human pedophiles/Nazis/racists who die, don't go to hell, limbo, purgatory, or heaven. They just get erased from existence. Angels have nothing to do with it. The Hazbin/Helluva universe already does its work. Of course, imps and hellborn creatures like hellhounds or the Sin ringleaders, can still be pedophiles, Nazis, and racists. But they are exempt from extermination. So the only sinners that do get sent to Hell to just do the same old shit would be murderers, con artists, human traffickers, rapists, and those who commit slavery, are still around. Which makes me question where does child murderers or those who lead child human trafficking and slavery fall in. Do they get wiped out from existence too if they didn't touch the child in that way? Do they get wiped out from existence for harming a young soul? Or do they get straight sent to Hell because murder is bad, regardless of age? Probably doesn't help that Heaven already admitted they don't know the requirements of people getting into Heaven, so it's a mystery on who is even checking since apparently at this point, even innocent souls who likely died of accident or bad circumstances, get sent to Hell regardless. It probably will be answered later on by some bullshit means, but it raises more questions on when in point did that become a thing. People pointed out that Angel Dust's sister, MOLLY, is there. What point in time Heaven allowed others to get in before it all changed with the extermination? Does even something small as when you were a kid stealing from the cookie jar, count as a major sin to be sent straight to Hell and that's why the child is sent in? Who the fuck knows. Maybe it will get answered in finale. Maybe they will hold it off for season 2 since it is confirmed and they are already recording the lines as we speak. I think the reason for these weird morals in recent modern media, just only goes for the straight black-white mortality, but hide it differently in these recent times as an act of justice that we won't make the same mistakes like we did in the past. Unfortunately, they are but are too ignorant to see it. Also in the case of how Hazbin Hotel is presenting with its rushed pacing, people, audiences and creators, would rather get to the heart of the matter fast and immediately than to build it up on how to get there. Why the fuck should we know about Camille and her backstory when all that matters is that she is a protective mother and that's it? No need to build up sustenance, all it matters is just the emotional factor to pull at your heartstrings for one moment like a quick sugar rush. No need to show the slow burn romance of why Vaggie likes Charlie. All it matters that she is now cute lesbians with her and its a good rep for LGBT. TL;DR of that is people are impatient.

[kookidough]

random rant about tbp tiktok cause i’m actually Sick of it at this point💆‍♀️💆‍♀️ these issues probably exist Outside of tiktok as well but i only ever see them on there so thats the platform i’m gna talk about

before you read i just wanna say warning for mentions of sa!!!!!

first of all i dont want to jump straight into the serious shit so the unoriginality is actually INSANE like ive been seeing the same jokes since 2022, can we Please get something funnier than “griffin does gymnastics / is a ceiling fan” 😭 the amount of times recently i’ll see a tbp tiktok and then get someone copying the idea and making the Same exact post like 3 scrolls later is insane like Pls can we be original Pls this movie is so sad i need something to laugh at

outside of being totally unoriginal some of the jokes tend to be Really Fucking Disgusting like straight up joking about assault, i shouldn’t even have to explain that thats not funny in the slightest?? this one person made a bunch of really gross ones and kept blocking people who called them out in the comment section, my friend had to dm them Several times and all they did was take down one post, the rest are still up with a ton of views :/ i know its like shock humour or dark humour or whatever but i dont see the ‘funny’ side of a grown man forcing himself onto a child and i think if youre laughing at that you should sit down and ask yourself why you think thats so funny.. people in the comments are always like ��i shouldn’t laugh” so they Know its wrong as well which just ugh the whole thing just really gets on my nerves

another thing that gets on my nerves is the lack of media literacy and straight up spreading misinformation, maybe on the media literacy part i’m just a hater but i see so many questions being asked or theories being posed when all of the things mentioned were… literally answered in the movie?? “whats up with finney and gwen’s mother” it’s literally said in the movie that she has the same ability as gwen and she killed herself bc of it, next question, “why was max so interested in finding the missing boys” maybe because he was a coked up conspiracy theorist who saw a serious crime happening in his brother’s area so he decided to be a genuine concerned citizen who wanted these boys to be found💀 “why did the grabber kill max” because he had evidence of the highly awful crimes he’d been committing and was about to let his latest victim free?? the list goes on and on but those r the main ones i see all the time

as for the misinformation. Ough. it annoys me So much this is a hill i will die on😭 i dont know if its people’s half-baked theories or personal headcanons that just got way out of hand but i see so much stuff being spread that just Isnt true, it gets spread so far that when you google these things it appears as true when its not which is annoying !!! i actually was gonna make an entire rant about one theory in particular that pisses me off so bad but i can fit it in here alongside my list of “other theories presented as facts that i Absolutely Despise”

first theory, the one i was gonna make an entire post over, is the theory that vance is the grabber’s son. if i see one more tiktok of those two with that marina and the diamonds song im going to fucking lose it😭 i have no idea where people got this from but its so fucking popular that it comes up on google and i Hate it, i think it comes from the fact that in gwen’s dream sequence, which, might i add, WAS A DREAM, it looks like the police drop vance off outside the grabber’s house and he goes inside there, which… apparently automatically makes them related…?? it takes like one ounce of media literacy to realise that Obviously he’d be getting dropped off at his own house in real life, but as a ghost he’s centred on the place he died and is showing that house to gwen in her dreams, like how every other ghost shows that house to her. awful theory awful take i hate it, if its ur personal headcanon sorry but i do Not fw that

the other theories i have like. not much to say about other than the fact that they’re Not true, i see a lot of stuff about griffin for some reason? the number tends to change but a lot of ppl say “he was kept in the basement for 4 years” like . Huh. where is your proof???? i know the missing posters are insanely unreliable but if you literally read them griffin went missing on april 2nd and billy went missing on may 4th so highly likely griffin was only in the basement for like. a month at most, no idea where ppl are pulling 4 years out of💀 i also see people say griffin has broken legs or a broken back Just because of the first scene where we see him doing a backbend but . if that was the case then he wouldnt be able to stand with the other ghosts when they show gwen the house, i think the backbend was just the position he died in and thats why he first appeared that way to finney but Hey thats just my opinion! last two i have like no rants over but just. firstly people saying robin never made it to the basement for some reason but clearly he did otherwise his ghost would not be down there with the rest of them😭 secondly the theory that vance was kept there the longest “because he’s the most feminine” which. just makes absolutely zero sense to me whatsoever idk whos random headcanon got popularised but i dont like it

okay getting serious again, while this one does not make me angry its like. just really weird to me? i think its common knowledge at this point that both the book and the movie are inspired heavily by the john wayne gacy case, with the grabber literally being inspired by john wayne gacy himself (you Cannot argue with me on this one its literally confirmed and theres a boatload of evidence supporting it). i guess its natural to see people making comparisons between the movie and the case because of the inspiration but i’ve seen Several videos recently of people taking photos of jwg victims and putting them next to tbp characters and saying thats who theyre inspired by and i think thats . Really coming across as insensitive i cant lie😭 we know the grabber was inspired by jwg and its heavily thought that billy was inspired by johnny gosch but theres not much about the others and i think its just really distasteful to compare real life murder victims to fictional horror characters just to get views/likes on tiktok, it comes across as insanely disrespectful to me but idk i havent seen anyone else talking about it so i might just be being sensitive

last thing that really really bothers me is grabber simps. while i do see it on tiktok i see it on here, tumblr, most often and its… so odd to me…. like why are you thirsting over the paedophilic serial killer… so so strange to me… i want to see art and character analysis and silly little posts about all the characters but every time i open the tbp tag i’m jumpscared by someones weird ass grabber x reader oneshot and its SO GROSS get that shit away from me😭😭😭😭 also saw this one girl on tiktok one time whos literal entire account was dedicated to the grabber and she defended this by saying the sa in the movie was “just a theory” which is so victim blamey girl i do not trust you there is so much evidence for it in the movie, again w the media literacy point, just because something isnt directly shown to you doesnt mean it isnt shown in other subtler ways… anyway i get if people like the grabber as a villain but actually like. loving him and thirsting over him is weird as fuck to me

so um ya the fandom is a trainwreck can we go back to there being like 3 of us please and thank u. if you actually read all this then Wow thank you its literally just me being chronically online and ranting about stuff that doesn’t matter in the real world at all

[missbadideas]

Too late for goodbyes (Take me back)

It feels as if the days have been moving slower as of late. Every moment feels dull, dry, and Misaki has been rejecting every assassination request they've gotten. They didn't want to be around people, they just wanted to bury themselves somewhere and forget their pathetic existence. 

It isn't as if this feeling was new. It came and went, just like everything else they felt. 

(Just like the constant regret and other feelings of inadequacy chasing after them.) 

If they ignored it enough and kept it in a box, it'll go away just like always.  

Their parents had kicked them out. They didn't associate with Misaki a lot, but god they loved Misaki. Misaki knows their parents loved them. Their childhood was good, warm, happy. As much as it could've been, at least.

( Stress, debts, their parents crying. )

Their funeral was some time ago. 

Misaki's phone was flooded with notifications. She put it on silent a while ago, and she didn't want to bother with opening it.

She hasn't opened it ever since they got the news.

They numbly grab at their phone and unlock it, their face being hit with the brightness of the screen. their curtains are covering the window, not letting the sun in.

Misaki scrunches up their nose at the brightness and turns it down, before scrolling mindlessly through the texts their friends sent. 

They almost closed their phone and went back to sleep if not for the text messages they got sent almost instantly.

5 Notification from <Goreboy> 15 Notifications from <Angelic> 12 Notifications from <K9>

They were all asking Misaki for a call. They didn't have the energy to talk to all of them. 

God, Misaki was such a shit friend.

Guilt simmered in their gut, making them nauseous despite not eating for the past few days.

They aren't sure they want to look at the messages. They can't handle this right now.

The phone is shaky in their grip, and their shoulders are tense as they scroll through old messages. V seems to have tried calling them nonstop, apparently. His last message would've concerning, if Misaki could muster up enough energy to care.

( They want to throw themselves down the deep end. They're a useless piece of trash who won't ever amount to anything, never made their parents proud- fucking mistake of a child-)

Misaki doesn't have the energy to cry. They didn't cry when they got the news, they didn't cry during the funeral, and they won't be crying now.

They decide to message in general. 

<Hitmeuppp> I did not live laugh love very much lately Srry pookies <Hitmeuppp> is typing... <Hitmeuppp> Im genuinly sorry though, i didnt mean to ignore you guys, i just dont know what to do with my life lately.  <Hitmeuppp> is typing... <Hitmeuppp> is typing... <Hitmeuppp> My parents passed away.

They feel a bile in their throat, but they swallow it down. That was the hard truth, but it feels different typing it out.

It almost feels real now.

<Hitmeuppp> I wasnt in a goo d spoace and i still dont think I amn if im not online or if i dont commit murders for a while thats why i just need time i dont know, probably if i dont reply for too long though i probs offed myself 

She took a deep breath, their fingers freezing over the keyboard of their phone. They don't know what to do with themselves lately. Was it a joke? they don't know anymore.

<Hitmeuppp> jk jk i wouldnt 

Everything they did was for their parents. They finally helped them clear their debt, they were supposed to reconcile, Misaki was planning on finally stopping their assassinations and genuinely trying.

Things were supposed to get better. 

Call from <Angelic> -> Accept  -> Decline 

One, two, three seconds- Misaki let their phone ring for one minute straight before they forced their shaky finger to press accept.

" Misaki...How have you been?" Angel's voice sounded tired. It reminds Misaki that she doesn't know how the others have been while she's been ignoring the server and all other online activities. They’re not sure how to answer that. “Uh, well, you know! Vaguely shrugs, things are fine. They’re going, I guess.”  Misaki counts one, two, three- and then Angel answers. Misaki can hear her moving around. There’s sounds of traffic, noise- was that Ronin in the background? “ You don’t have to force it…if you need to talk, you know I’ll always make time for you when I can. I’m sure the others feel the same way.” It felt vulnerable, honest, too much so for them. They want to hang up immediately. They can’t- think. Their throat was tight. “ I…- I just wish you guys were here? It’s, It’s stupid. “ “...Give me a moment.” Not ominous at all, nor is it disheartening- sure. 

A knock on the door right after she ended the call. Misaki pocketed their phone, tapping their foot anxiously as they held the handle. They’re not sure they could handle social interaction with strangers, especially after Angel ended the call like that.

" Holy shit, V?" Misaki breathed out, their eyes widening as their grip on the door handle loosened after they opened the door.

V's shoulders looked tense, and he reached out to cover Misaki's hand with his own. " We...I am regretful to hear of your loss, Misaki. My condolences."

They'd gotten close- somewhat, Misaki likes to think, ever since a few halloweens ago. Misaki would even consider them friends now.

" Uh, it's like, totally fine. Not that you killed them or anything." They chuckle, only realizing they're choking down a sob afterwards. Their throat feels tight, and their cheeks are wet.

V looks almost panicked by the sight of their tears. Misaki would've found it a bit funny, if not for the circumstances.

" Have I...imposed? If you'd prefer to grieve alone, that is understandable. I-" He was interrupted by an all too familiar voice. 

" Christ, loser vigilante. We're not fucking off after comin' all the way here." 

" Ronin..." A gentle soft voice sighed. "Despite his choice of words, Ro's right, V. We're not leaving Misaki to deal with this on their own. She's been going through a lot, lately. "

It took them a moment, but they noticed two distinct figures behind him. Familiar wine red hair and a blonde woman. Ronin had one hand in his pocket, while Angel wore a tight-lipped smile. 

" You...Ronin? Angel? you two came? wait, Angel, I was- like, just on the phone with you?? when did you even have the time?" Misaki didn't know what to say. Had they planned this? just for her? 

Were they that worried?

Angel's smile lost some of its tightness, but it still didn't reach her eyes. " I was in the car when we called. We all booked a flight to visit you, since you weren't answering calls or texts. We were...We were worried, Misaki. " 

There's no telling if this will ever go away entirely, grief comes and goes most say.

But for now, things feel like they'll be okay. 

Everything will be okay. ____________ A little rushed, once again gotta study for exams tis a sad life

[pbs-theundeadmaggot]

Stay

Steve Harrington x fem!reader

[a/n] sorry for the lack of posts for valen-cries I’m still working on my requests but I thought I’d finish this wip. Also if it wasn't obvious this is a songfic based on stay by Colorblind

[warnings!] self deprecation, metaphorical abuse? Implication of drugs but not actually taking any cause it’s also metaphorical. Its just angsty and ambiguous, feel free to interpret the ending how you wish.

Valen-cries masterlist available here!

Abuse me, I like the punishment

You keep me focused, I don't need no Ritalin

I like when you keep me guessing, its alright

Its alright

It was only supposed to be one night but one night turned into two., two to three until there were too many to count. It had started with just some light flirting and the odd touch yet it quickly became so much more, so much so that you weren’t sure where you stood anymore. 

Steve was so persuasive with his sweet whispers and cheeky looks, how could you refuse? It didn’t help that you had a major crush on him back in high school and the moment he’d so much as looked your way, you’d fallen again. 

How pathetic, here you were fighting off your feelings for a guy who only ever saw you as a fuck buddy. Just another toy to warm his bed like numerous others before you, as if you even stood a chance. However, saying that you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Can we turn our feelings off?

I need you baby, just for one night,

One night

He’d call at the same time every night you spent apart, his gravely voice sending chills down your spine in the silence of your bedroom, where the boundaries of friendship and romance blurred across the distance. Some nights you’d talk for hours and hours, others simply bask in each others silence finding the need for words overrated.

In the darkness of the night you’d find yourself tracing over the freckles and faint scars that kissed his skin, trying to memorise every inch of him as if he would disappear at any second. If you could contain this memory forever you would, alas that would only make the pain harder when you inevitably parted.

I know what you’re looking for,

You make it feel like its the first time, every time

Every time

Coming down from the high was always difficult, doubt crippling you as you lay cold and empty. You tell yourself it will be the last time and it never is, the unhealthy hold he has over you enticing you back again and again. Unsure of wether you could do this anymore and chest tightening with every breath, what other choice was there but to run?

I don't really wanna fight right now,

I don't really see the point right now,

And if the love wasn’t real enough what the hell we gonna do when the truth comes out?

Steve wasn’t really one for commitment, you both knew that, so why did it hurt so much watching you leave each time? Would you stay if he asked? Or were you only in it for the sex? He had no right to ask, his reputation made sure of that but that didn’t stop the conflicting feelings threatening to spill with your presence. 

I’d rather start it on a blank page,

I think I like it with a new face

You dont wanna wait for me, its safe to be

Stuck inside this place where we keep faking things,

Running in circles looking for an end that didn’t exist seemed pointless but anything was easier than confronting your feelings, even uncertainty felt more stable than the mess you were floating in, head barley above water and still refusing to swim. You hadn’t realised that in the ocean of your mind Steve had been searching for you, begging you to stay afloat with him. 

I think you’re finally breaking me,

The way it seems you’re making me,

Stay 

[n3rdy247]

HEY GIRL YOU DEFINITELY DONT KNOW WHO THIS IS *WINK WINK WINK WINK* (I'm saying wink out loud everytime btw)

From stranger to stranger *wink* do you by any chance write samgladiator hcs??????? 😊😊😊

Perhaps x reader hcs??????? 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

THATD BE SO SILLY IF YOU DID YKNOW LIKE GIRL ITD BE CRAZYYYYYYYY YKNOW LIKE ITD BE SO INSANEEEEEEEE RIGHT???????????

EAEHRHHSUGHE DUDE RIGHTHTHTH IT WOULD BE SOOOOOO FUCKING WILD AND SUCH A SILLY THING TO DO 🤭🤭🤭

(PROBABLY WILL BE OOC THOUGH since i only watched a few episodes, so I'm really sorry if this doesn't really fit your headcanons anon WHO I TOTALLY DON'T KNOW *wink wink*)

(ANYWAY, these will be (mostly) based off the reboot since idk much and keep in mind that I only watched a few episodes, so I'm really sorry if these HCs seem really OOC)

YHS!SAM X READER HEADCANONS GO WEEEE!!!!

I STILL DON'T KNOW HOW TO WRITE

❥ Sooo, starting off the bat, since I'm not really writing yandere hcs, let's put all the batshit crimes he committed aside for this occasion..and focus on him being really silly. ❥ If you see him tripping near a trash can, dude, that's on YOU. I imagine he'd be jokingly bragging to someone how he is about to make a 'pro gamer move', then immediately fail a millisecond later before he could even try SHIT

❥ His love language? Well...uh....you could say it's kind of a mix. ❥ For example, gift giving? Absolutely. If you were to mention something specific that you wanted even once (or maybe even when you were talking to yourself while walking back home)? Expect that very thing to appear right outside your doorstep with a poorly drawn rabbit doodle sticked on top of it with a bunny sticker. ❥ Quality time? Definitely! He loves to see you wake up and THRIVE FOR ANOTHER DAY! You BET he stalks the shit out of you though. If you can't shake the feeling that you're being watched at school, on the road back home, and mayybe when you are about to sleep, then that's on HIM. (Sorry, I said I'm not really writing yandere hcs, not that I will never write any.) ❥ Physical touch? ... ❥ DO YOU TAKE HIM AS A MENTALLY WELL GUY? I DIDN'T THINK SO. ❥ You should know by now that he would SCREAM the second his hand accidentally brushes against yours (though we're not sure about the accident part WINK WINK)

❥ I also have a teeny tiny headcanon that he only lets YOU touch his rabbit ears. (and I MEAN ONLY YOU if others even TRIED they'd be thrown to the nearest dumpster) And when you do so? He MELTS. Like don't be surprised if you see him giggle like a freaking teenage girl is what I'm trying to say 🤭🤭🤭

❥ You also cannot tell me he wouldn't also try to impress you, one way or another. Whether it be trying to make you giggle and twirl your hair by saying the most APPALLING pickup lines of all time, or casually talking to you about your interests as if he was already a huge fan of em (bro actually stood up all night looking at every search result on google about that topic, BUT SHH)

❥ He would also tell you about his day BY EITHER LYING OR TWISTING HIS WORDS AROUND. COME ON NOW.

"Sooo..what weree you up to this weekend?" ❥ "Oh, me??? Well, I bought my friend a cat...and I did help a guy raise money for his cancer.." as he recalls what the FUCK happened in his life that went wrong

❥ Now. You know this man would never ever want to leave you alone (as if it wasn't obvious enough with the abandonment issues and the stalking, but I digress) so you definitely would need to reassure his ass. But once you do so? His droopy rabbit ears would slowly, but surely go right back up again. He can't help it though, you just seem to always make him feel better by existing.

either way, he is a little fucked up bastard someone please put him in a psychiatric hospital (or kiss him, that sounds like a better solution) *DROPS THE MIC AND IMMEDIATELY RUNS*

[aq2003]

it is literally canon that Martha stayed with Ten even though she knew he didn’t love her back. she stayed because she was in love with him. you can think whatever you want in fan spaces, but staying with him for love is exactly what she did. Ten was an ass to Martha in so many ways during this season, I think he coped with being the object of her desire (and even bragged about it to Donna).

sorry i'm putting my foot down here. anon we are watching different shows because in the very first episode ten is uncomfortable and shuts her down the minute he catches that martha has an interest in him. he (as stated by david tennant) spends nearly the entire season unaware of her crush. "i don't think he's [aware of her feelings for him]. i don't think he'd do that otherwise. i think he gets aware as the season rumbles on" — but even then, he still has that line in sound of drums where he goes "it's like when you fancy someone and they don't know you exist" to her. you could interpret this in either one of two ways, either he's trying his hardest to ignore her crush and is acting like it doesn't exist, or he honest to god still does not know. and when we're talking about a character that has a famously long history of being not involved in romance or being unaware of standard romantic conventions, the fact that he isn't aware of how she feels (however long that may be, but we know it extends over a majority of their time together) makes much more sense than... i dont even know. going out of your way to make someone fall in love with you but the moment you think she's in love with you you go "what the fuck! don't do that! back off!". like??!? and as someone who has been the object of an unrequited crush from one of my close friends before, it's difficult to look back on this person without thinking about it or feeling guilty over it. this is exactly what the scene with ten and donna reads like to me; they're talking about the relationship ten and martha had and he brings it up bc it's been directly on his mind (he's fucking tactless about it but being tactless is like one of his primary personality traits!). it's one of the reasons she left him! it's the reason why he rejects donna initially before finding out she wasn't interested in him! i'm not trying to say that their relationship was healthy or that s3 ten did nothing wrong or whatever but god will you all kill him for the crimes he actually committed

as for martha, i feel like you're misunderstanding the point i was making about her and i already got into arguments in two separate posts over it so i'll just leave it at "if you think her crush is her only personality trait and the only reason she chooses to stay with ten is /thinking he'll eventually fall in love with her back/ then please get well soon". look at shakespeare code when after ten compares her to rose and says he'll take her back home she sarcastically goes "great!" or at the beginning of gridlock when she goes "ever heard of the word 'rebound'?" (i could write another long post about this line but that's not the point rn) - she isn't having a good time! she knows ten isn't treating her very well! but the reason she doesn't want it to be "just one trip" isn't bc she's romantically pursuing him (which is the point i specifically took issue with) or even bc of her crush, it's bc she knows ten is grieving—he lost his home planet, his people, his kind-of-girlfriend and just needs someone with him and SHE KNOWS THAT! BETTER THAN HE DOES! look at family of blood: she's asked why she's his companion and she answers "because he's lonely". she KNOWS he needs her and as a character established from day 1 to be someone learning to save people for a living i don't think it's a massive stretch to say that she's not 100% in it for herself. if you take the show at face value, it's saying that martha is straight up wasting the years of her life and isn't getting nearly as much out of her friendship with ten the way he is with her. this extends to multiple areas of their relationship. and forgive me if i'm being too fucking bold but "thinking whatever you want in fan spaces" is a mentality you treat shipping with, not "analyzing the character writing of a writer first and foremost known and praised for his character writing"

[chaifootsteps]

y'know, im usually against using screenshot of people doing bad stuff in the past to "prove" that they are bad people nowdays; for example, when they try to get some youtuber cancelled because he said a slur 6 years ago or something.

Because that just negates the fact that us humans commit a lot mistakes, sometimes we do mean stuff, but that doesnt make us terrible humans that are incapable of redeming themseves, most of us grow out of those ugly behaviours, and learn to be decent human beings.

However, with miss Vivziepop its a different story, i like the fact that that we are still finding screenshot of her doing heinous things in the past, for 3 important reasons:

First, The things she did are like, actually really bad.

Its not like most cases where its like "omg this dud said the n-word when he was 12 and didnt know what a slur was! We must cancell him!1!", no, the things Vivziepop did are always when she was a grown ass woman that know what she was doing, she was just being evil.

And then you have her fans insisting those arent "that bad", thats its "a nothing burger", etc. And like, yeah, they ARE bad, those things are really mean and people arent evil for pinting it out.

It is important for growing up to reconise that our past behaviours were not good, thats how we learn better.

Defending a stranger on the internet will just lead you to repeat those behaviours of your idol because you conviced yourself those arent "that bad", until you do them and then you get hit with reality because, thanks to those behaviours, people dont like you anymore and see you as a rude toxic person.

Second, she proved many times she NEVER changed.

She still shows those gross behaviours, unlike most people she never learned to be a better person.

For example: that catcalling comic was made years ago, so, i guess it doesnt represent her views anymore, right? She is no longer misogynist, right?

Well, the way she treats her female characters, plus how she gets mad at people pointing out how badly written they are, proves she never stoped having those mean ideas about women.

Or how about those aboit how she was shaming a fan for not paying her what she wanted and making them feel bad for it? Obviously she grew up and never did something so mean like that again...

Oh wait! No she didnt, every once in a while we see her throwing a fissy fit about people criticising her work and liking tweets of her fans saying people are EVIL for not loving her and giving her all the support in the world.

And about those abuse allegations... wait, those are not even old, most of them are from less than a year ago. You cant even "those were years ago" out of this one.

So fuck the "those were long time ago, she changed!", thats total bs.

And finally, every time she responded or "apologised" for these acusations, she keep proving that she didnt belive she did anything wrong and its just "the haters" being mean.

Anybody remember when she made a weird ass apology that started with "i would apologise for existing, but i know people would get mad at me still"? Her responses are always full of "actually, YOU are the mean one for calling me out, look how bad i feel? Dont you feel any shame?".

One day she will def make a shitty youtube apology video where she admits everything but with the classic "i was in a bad place", "i didnt know what i was doing", basically painting everything as "just a mistake" and not her being an evil asshole. Then half of the video will be her ranting about how this whole situation that SHE created is making HER sad, she will probably said something like "i just wanted to make cartoons and people are being mean :(((" to victimise herself.

Mark my words, we will have a Vivziepop ukelele apology in any day of 2024, im really sure.

All I can say is that after everything she's put people through, she'd better have a damn ukulele.

[your-magloving-satinwhistle]

After today's convos I think I made my choice.

Im dating Arthur and BFFing with Aoi. I love then both a lot, and I want in my heart of hearts to say "Aoi and I are gonna Mag together forever", but first of all I don't want to break up with her ever... and I messed up a dialogue cuz I misread a question and she quickly left after that. It felt terrible and Im like "I would rather not exist if I disappoint you again in a relationship", but that's part of the problem. I put her too high on the pedestal cuz she's Mag and she's cute. Our personalities are similar enough that I dont think we had a bad conversation until now (omfg that hurts), and talking to her is like talking to the me I'd love to be... but then I feel like I'm objectifying her and that has its own problems. .... Yeaaaah, no I'm not doing that to her.

Arthur is different enough to me that he's grounding... or... I feel like we (Arthur and Flo... who is kinda me. Before i was speaking as Me) could be anchors to each other. Keep us tethered to reality. Also, because I'm not biased towards him I don't feel like I have to be perfect all the time or that he is perfect all the time... .... I think I'm trying to say that he I feel normal around him and it makes me feel secure. It's comforting. Granted I also feel bad when I mess up with him but it's not the end of the world. I'm gonna process, reflect, breathe and be confident that I can go back and we can recover instead of doom spiral and never show my face again.

Eleanor I like a lot, but she's in a similar boat as Aoi in the "Ah shit, I hate having a bad interaction with her" but it's not as severe. It's more like... "I love talking to you, but I feel bad because I keep missing your point". Given time I think I can understand her better (AuDHD be damned, I'll get there! I'll be on the same page one day!), but until then I need to understand her mind better so she doesnt keep ending conversations in distress.

Quincy? ... Yeah Im not gonna date him. Saw a lil spoiler that made me feel terrible with the idea of breaking up with him and it made me take a step back and look at how I feel about him. Now I could be messy (and maybe Flo will be messy cuz why not?), but then I thought "As much as I am overjoyed to have a black love interest with long locs (like me), has at least some Jamaican in him (I'm half Jamaican/Haitian, American born and raised), is a Sagittarius (he's December Sag and I'm November Sag), not as dreary as Arthur can be but still more grounded and I like his humor and honesty.... I hate the favors. I'll give in cuz I want to know more about him and I like talking to him, but it's approaching pet peeve territory and this recent conversation made me realize that it's part of his world-view. Now, could I commit and push through his conditions to see if he'd open up to me unconditionally? Yeah... but as a non-confrontational people pleaser I know the process would chew me up and spit me out while I feel bad for even daring to challenge the mindset that he most likely developed to survive in a world that could destroy you for a weakness. Tis not healthy.

Now Lettie surprises me. I'm not great when it comes to people who are more harsh with their no-nonsense and her interest in religion was a bit of a turn off. What gets me is that when we talk, I'm uncomfortable but because I dont want to blow her off I engage with her and accidentally find myself getting along with her. It was awkward at first, but then... I understand her views the most out of all the Hex. Aside from Aoi. She's the me I'd be if I dropped the smile I use to survive irl and didn't let my shortcomings rule me.

Now Amir... Amir is cute but he's just like me but actually good and videogames and technology and I hate it. He's the oddball with ADHD and insecurities, a love for games and funky jokes when surrounded by tired and defensive veterans who would rather fucking not and I see him and I'm like. "Hello brother... Tell me about your games cuz literally no one else takes about games. Let's game! Let's go nuts! Let's go buckwild!" I say I hate him but I don't, I just hate the idea of dating him cuz it'll be like dating me or my brother. Brother energy. Eugh... I miss my brother. This made no sense and I know that, but idk how to make this make sense.

... So yeah those are my feelings as I understand them so far. As lovely as it would be to date and romance everyone, or date Aoi and just go Mag all the way... I have to go with what feels best. And right now I feel best with Arthur.