#i still hold out hope... someday... she'll be back

[blingblong55]

The end is here...right?-Simon "Ghost" Riley

photo credit @ave661 middle pic Not edited at all!! ---- F!Reader, angst? idk, cheating ---- A/N: honestly, don't even ask me what this is, I felt the need to write this very late at night...so I'm sorry

"I love you." Oh, what a miserable way to begin the end of this love story. How did it end? How did his smiles, kisses and most importantly those eyes that shined when they looked at you end? Why must love be this evil? Soon, after this funeral you and he will walk away and be strangers once more.

One more glance, maybe one that explains why he fell out of love. Maybe it is a hopeful word for a fool like you. If only love was a joke, at least one you understood but it isn't and now you're dying in a room whilst the walls scream at your foolish heart. Can you pretend he never existed? Can you call him and have him there as he holds your lifeless heart? This book that you made wasn't one for the weak. This book was made for those who needed a reminder that they needed to leave. Was it toxic to have him love you that much and then rip it away from you just before you told him the dreams you wanted to have with him? Was it evil that you had already planned a life with him? or was it vile to have you this in love with the idea of a man who couldn't love you like you wanted?

There will be a day when he fades but today isn't that day for he tattooed his name on your heart for the next millennia to see…to whisper about when they hear the chapel weep for a love that it never got to seal. Oh, what a cruel man must Simon but to have you in bed, to kiss your body like there was no other woman for him. Wise men do say death is best when it isn't by the hand of the lover. If only he warned you about him.

His smile will forever be engraved in you just like his lips will be left with scars that once were butterflies on you. "I'm not a good man, love," he once told you and oh what a fool were you when you didn't listen. Did the weeping willow tree not warn you? "You're in terrible danger." it once said but you brushed it off.

His things are still there, his jacket on the chair like the night he came home and hugged you. Did you know it'd end with you waiting for him to come home again? He was here to destroy you and what a job he did.

Maybe someday, in an alternate universe, he hadn't left you for her. Maybe he would have stayed and completed the dreams you once had. And just perhaps you'd be religious to thank whatever is out there for him.

Tonight you curse whatever is out there.

He was never to keep, maybe he should told you that.

Does he love her like he did you? Maybe he kisses her shoulder but does he move the furniture so he can dance with her in the middle of a drunken midnight? Midnight…hm..what a time to be dead and buried with his memories on your headstone.

He was yours.

He was meant to be yours.

Will you one day confess you left the front porch light on in case he needed a guide back home?

"Forgive me, I have sinned. I committed murder, not literal murder but of my own heart," you whisper to the altar you never got to say your vows to. And maybe she'll hear his vows but you swear yours are sweeter than hers.

As the midnight falls, you aimlessly walk to the haunted chapel. The rain pours as you look at the windy sky. You sigh and maybe that should've been your last one for what is life if not with him.

You don't need much, just need him. Maybe you can sacrifice anything…for the love of all hell… sacrifice anything to get him back.

As you sit on the stairs of the chapel, you look dishevelled. There is a ring on your hand. The one he gave you one Christmas when you mentioned you liked the design of one. What a cruel idea that must've been. Your thumb runs over the designs and tears cascade down your face but it's oh so beautifully covered by the rain. "I love you, Simon. I…I fucking love you and it's killing me." you say before you break down in sobs. There's this feeling, the feeling when you cry too much your chest begs you to stop, where your head aches and your face begs to stop this pain.

You hold onto yourself, maybe this way you'll heal some of the love he took with him but it won't until you have him there.

Is it idiotic to want him back? Yes, but damn does it feel good to want him. So what if he broke your heart? Maybe no one understands this feeling. Maybe the poets were right.

You must let him go, it is killing this aching and weak heart of yours.

You do just that. The ring is left on the steps of the chapel and walk away. What an awful way to mourn the loss of his love. The rain will cover your tracks and maybe you can disappear for a little while.

Once you disappear, there is a shadow man who also mindlessly walks to the steps of the chapel. He sits down on the same steps you did. In his heart, there is a funeral that is happening. He lost something…someone. This man is bitter. There is a sour taste he leaves wherever he goes. Does he know the sour taste he left in you?

There is a story that goes around about him and you know it better than those that tell the story.

As he sits there, he looks at his hands. Did he kill his lover? Not physically…well…yes and now but he killed her heart. He is the doctor that collects hearts and he has yours in a golden jar.

As he looks down, he finds the ring he gifted you. As his eyes wander around the area, you are never to be found at least not anymore and maybe he will find you in his dreams. That's the last place you haunt with that ever-lovely smile he oh so adores.

Those who love are fools struck by Cupid.

He holds the ring and lets his thumb run through the designs he will never craft for another lover. He hums and shuts his eyes. If angels were real, they'd pity him and put him out of his misery.

There was a film about this kind of love out there and maybe you two are fools recreating it but adding real emotions into the mix.

"I love you, even if you'll be the end of me," he whispers as he sighs and lets the tears fall.

The end is here…and it wants to sweep you away but Simon clings to you. Was there another woman? No, he lied and it was a damn good lie so he'd let you live the life he can never give you. He is a bump, a major one at that, in your life and maybe one day, you'll forgive him when you sit down with the actual man of your dreams.

Love, what a stupid word.

A/N: not tagging anyone because I don't even know what this is anymore

[kits-ships]

im autistic4autistic

EVERY F/O LIST GOT THE

1. obscure character two people have heard of

2. hardest to draw motherfucker in fiction history

3. nonhuman

4. popular iconic character who has five different canonxcanon and selfships blacklisted

5. autistic individual

6. familial f/o

[yynumaki]

Happy Ever After

Sum: After you got horribly injured on a mission with a loose special grade curse, Geto reaches his breaking point

Tw: Fluff¿ idk (part 1 would be angst)

Part 1 Part 2

Nanako and Mimiko are now standing on both sides of him.

"Is that Y/n, Geto-sama?" Mimiko asked timidly, "The one you keep on telling us about?"

"Why yes my dear" he answered with a smile, "Beautiful isn't she?"

The three of them were watching you from the edge of your wall like windows from your newly opened cafe. The place was extremely packed since it was only recently opened, and people claimed that your cafe had a 'home-like-vibe' to it.

Ever since Suguru's departure, you couldn't bare it in jujutsu high.

You tried, really really tried to keep fighting, for your friends and for yourself, but you failed.

Unlike Satoru, you couldn't keep on that track without Suguru, and even though you wanted to be there for Gojo, you couldn't be in that place any longer. Not when everything reminded you of him.

You decided to leave.

With the savings you had, you decided to live a normal life, a life in which you once planned with Suguru; but instead of living on a peaceful and quiet province, you knew that you still needed to save some more to be able to live comfortably there someday, still holding on to some hope that he'd come back to you.

You decided to, instead, build a small business and build a cafe in the streets of Japan, as well as renting out an apartment above it.

There, you've slowly built a life for yourself, not forgetting about your friends of course.

You gave Satoru a spare key for your apartment, telling him that hes welcomed anytime, and that your home is also his.

You knew Satoru took a bigger hit than you at Sugurus departure, he is his best friend after all; though maybe 'brother' is a better fit.

You might not know Satoru as much as Geto does, but you do come fairly close, knowing how much pressure hes in with having the title of the 'strongest', and no one really checking up on him thinking that he must always be ok.

Now you took it upon yourself to be there for him, to know that even with his brother leaving, as well as Nanami, his lover, that you were still there, and Satoru took that greatfuly, claiming that you were his sister in-law, and the both of you were family.

"One day" Suguru spoke, "One day the four of us would leave this wreched place, live a life as a family, happy and peaceful, once we finish our plan, and I make this world safer for my three girls"

He held the girls hands tighter, eyes never leaving your form as you smiled at the monkeys you were serving.

"The four of us?" Nanako asked, "Does that mean she'd be our mom one day?" Eyes shining brightly, matching the smile growing on her lips.

"Do you think she'd even accept us?" Asked Mimiko

"Of course she'll accept you" Geto answered, "Shes the most kind hearted person I know, and on top of that, I know she'll love you both"

Geto knelt infront of the two girls reaching their height as he patted their heads. He handed them some money telling them to buy what ever they wish on your cafe for them to be able to talk to you, making them promise to not mention that they know him.

Since the lunch rush was finally dying down, you were able to accommodate them soon enough.

Two little girls came up to you requesting the most sugary pastry you sold as well as two mugs of hot chocolate.

Amused by the two, you three fell into easy conversation.

You couldn't stop smiling at the girls as they spoke to you with such adoration and passion, asking you so many things about yourself and them telling you stories and things about them aswell.

You didn't know why, but after a long day, the two girls sitting on the counter infront of you telling you how they lost their first tooth as you wiped down the counter, lifted a bit of weight off your shoulders.

The sight itself melted Getos heart, seeing how you've already connected with Nanako and Mimiko after meeting them for the first time.

He couldn't wait to be able to give the three of you in his arms, happy and complete.

So sorry abt this, this was EXTREMELY rushed, (wrote it in lile 10 mins maybe)

[ginnsbaker]

Rivers and Roads (Til I Reach You)

Summary: The best(and worst) ways to fall in love with your best friend's younger sister.

Word count: 11.3k+ | Warnings: Angst, Smut, Underage Sex, Minor Violence | Ship: Yelena x Female Reader

A/N: Takes place before "In Flames" but can be read seperately ; Requested by anon: Would you write about Yelena and Reader's first attempt at a relationship? How they saw each other as more than just Nat's little sister or best friend? ; Hope you like it, anon :)

Masterlist

-

I

Your father's funeral ends the same way these things always do: friends and family approaching you and your mother, one by one, each offering condolences like they're reading from a script. The words are polite, rehearsed, almost mechanical, and though you nod and thank them, each sympathy feels more hollow than the last. 

Like a zombie, you go through the motions, detached from everything around you. 

The crowd eventually thins, and that’s when Natasha approaches with Yelena in tow. She hugs you tightly, her body trembling with emotion. “I'm so sorry, Y/N,” she whispers, her voice catching in her throat. “If there's anything I can do, anything at all, just let me know.”

You feel her warmth, but your response is cold, almost automatic. “Thank you,” you say flatly.

When you step out of Natasha's embrace, Yelena steps forward, a look in her eyes like she's ready to do the same thing. But as she moves closer, she hesitates, her mouth parting as if to speak, but the words remain trapped inside. Without waiting for her to say anything, you excuse yourself and head up to your room.

Downstairs, Natasha tugs Yelena to go home. But Yelena's gaze is fixed on the ceiling, right where she knows your room is. She silently declines, and Natasha, reading the situation, gives her a knowing nod without pushing further. With a quiet goodbye, Natasha exits, leaving Yelena with her eyes still fixed on the ceiling, lost in thought. 

The minutes feel like hours as she sits there, a battle raging inside her. She wants to be there for you, to offer comfort, but she's paralyzed by uncertainty and fear. Finally, a decision forms in her mind, and she rises from the couch, her heart pounding.

Slowly, she makes her way up the stairs. When she reaches your door, she stops, her hand hovering in the air. She hears the soft, unmistakable sound of crying, and her heart aches.

Softly, she places her hand on the door, pretending it's you, pretending she has the ability to comfort you. But she doesn't, and it's one of the most painful experiences of her young life. To stand there, helpless, listening to the person she cares about hurting, and not being able to do anything about it.

Tears well in her eyes as she leans her forehead against the door, feeling the barrier that separates her from you, a barrier she's unable to cross. 

And so, she waits, trusting that someday, when you're ready, she'll be able to step through that door, reach out, and stand by your side when you need her most.

II

She doesn’t see you for the rest of the summer.

She tries to ask Natasha about you, but even your best friend seems guarded, telling her she hasn't heard from you much either. 

Around the same time, a boy from her class, Jeremy, starts dropping by her house. His visits are unexpected but not entirely unwelcome. He's friendly, outgoing, and he makes Yelena laugh—something she hasn't done much of lately.

But as the weeks wear on and Jeremy's interest in her becomes more apparent, Yelena can't shake the feeling that something's missing. Her thoughts keep drifting back to you, to the sound of your crying behind that closed door, to the pain in her chest that she feels every time she thinks of your suffering.

Jeremy tries to get closer to her, invites her out, sends her messages, even brings her chocolates and flowers, but Yelena finds herself holding back. She likes him, but she doesn't feel the connection she longs for, the connection she feels with you.

One evening, as she's aimlessly scrolling through her phone, avoiding yet another message from Jeremy, she stumbles across a picture of you and your father. The memory hits her like a physical blow, and she can't help but wonder how you're coping, if you're healing, if you even think about her at all.

The very next day, she kisses Jeremy for the first time.

III

When she does see you again, it's at a party before the school year begins.

You're alone, clutching a bottle of Jim Beam like a lifeline. You bring it with you, taking long swigs ever so often, not caring who's watching. You look just like the last time she saw you—uninterested, vacant, a shell of the person that used to be filled with so much good energy.

The crowd around you is lively, laughing, celebrating the end of summer, but you stand apart from it all.

Yelena's concern deepens, and she quickly sends a text to Natasha, hoping that she might have some insight or guidance. “She’s here at the party,” she writes, her fingers trembling. “Drinking alone. Looks lost. What should I do?”

The response from Natasha comes quickly, and it's clear from her words that she's as bewildered as Yelena. “What? I didn't know about this. Keep her there. Don't let her leave. I'm coming.”

Yelena looks up from her phone, her eyes scanning the room to find you again. Her heart aches at the sight of you, standing alone, your face a mask of emptiness. 

She takes a deep breath, steeling herself to approach you.

But before she can make her move, a voice calls her name, and she turns to see Jeremy coming towards her with a smile. 

“Hey, beautiful,” Jeremy says cheerfully, closing the distance between them with a warm smile. He leans in and plants a soft kiss on Yelena's cheek.

Yelena forces a smile in return, her thoughts still consumed by the sight of you across the room. She appreciates Jeremy's presence, but at that moment, she can't shake the nagging worry she feels.

“Are you enjoying the party?” Jeremy asks, taking her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Yeah, it's good,” she says.

Jeremy doesn't seem to notice Yelena's lack of focus. His eyes are alight with excitement, and his grin is infectious as he exclaims, “I've got a surprise for you. Come upstairs with me?”

Her attention is pulled away from you momentarily. “A surprise?”

“Yeah, I think you'll love it,” Jeremy assures her, tugging on her hand gently. “Come on, it'll just take a minute.”

Yelena hesitates, glancing once more in your direction. You’re looking worse by the second, but she also knows that she can't ignore Jeremy, especially when he's clearly made an effort to do something special for her.

With a sigh, she gives in to Jeremy's urging. “Okay, but just for a minute,” she agrees, allowing him to lead her toward the stairs.

IV

You don’t remember much of what happened when you come to.

Your fist is clenched, throbbing with pain, and the skin is turning an unnatural shade of blue. Jeremy—Yelena's new boyfriend—is clutching his arm, his face twisted in agony. Yelena is kneeling next to him, her eyes wide, her face pale, looking up at you in shock.

“What...What happened?” you stammer, the room spinning around you.

You hear a gasp from the doorway. Turning, you see a tall, lanky man with tousled hair and a startled expression. He's holding a drink, the liquid sloshing slightly from the sudden movement.

“Everything alright in here?” he asks, eyebrows raised in concern.

Yelena's gaze shifts to the man, then back to you. Panic flits across her eyes. “It's nothing,” she says, her voice trembling slightly. “Just a...misunderstanding.”

He hesitates, eyes darting between you, Jeremy, and Yelena. He doesn’t look entirely convinced. “That doesn't look like 'nothing'.”He nods towards Jeremy's arm and your bruised fist.

“You should leave,” Yelena hisses at you, her voice low and threatening. She rises to her feet, seemingly towering over you despite the fact that you’re taller than her. “Now.”

You're still disoriented, the pain in your hand and the weight of the situation pressing down on you. “Yelena, I didn't mean–I thought he was forcing himself on you–”

She cuts you off. “I don't care what you meant. Just get out.” Her voice trembles with a mix of anger and fear.

Mark steps aside, allowing you a clear path to the door, but his eyes remain fixed on you, filled with curiosity and suspicion. As you stagger past him, you can hear Yelena's voice, softer now, murmuring words of comfort to Jeremy.

V

The next time you see Yelena, a week has gone by and the purple and blue on your knuckles has substantially faded. 

It’s the weekend and you find yourself in the public library while the rest are hanging out in malls or anywhere that doesn't carry the smell of books. It wasn’t always like this—you’d normally be in the Romanoffs’ house by now, playing video games with Natasha or discussing art and literature with Yelena.

You're browsing through the contemporary fiction section when you spot her. Yelena's back is turned to you, her blonde hair pulled into a messy bun, strands escaping to frame her face. She's engrossed in a thick book, fingers tracing the lines as she reads. The library's tall windows drape her in a warm, sunlit glow, making her look almost unreal.

For a moment, you contemplate turning around and making a silent retreat. The memory of that night at the party, of Jeremy's pained face and Yelena's horrified eyes, still leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. But instead, your feet seem to make the decision for you, carrying you closer until you're standing just a few feet away from her.

She doesn't notice you at first, so engrossed in her reading. Taking a deep breath, you muster the courage to speak. “Yelena?”

She startles, the book nearly tumbling out of her hands. When she turns and meets your eyes, there's a flash of surprise, quickly replaced by guardedness. “Hey,” she says, voice cool and measured.

“I'm sorry,” you blurt out, the words spilling forth in a rush. “For that night, for everything. I never meant to hurt anyone. I went upstairs to use the bathroom and I heard…sounds…coming from that bedroom and I…it didn’t seemed consensual to me, what was happening–”

Yelena interrupts you, her voice rising in defense, “It was consensual.”

You look deep into her eyes, searching for any sign that she’s not telling the truth. “Are you sure?” you ask gently.

“Yes,” she replies firmly, but there's something flickering behind her gaze.

Not convinced, you press on, “How many times?”

She looks taken aback. “What?”

“How many times did you give your consent?” you ask, emphasizing each word.

She hesitates, her mouth opens to say something, but no words come out. 

The few seconds of her silence feels like hours, and then you finally break it. “I just wanted to make sure you're okay," you mutter, pressing your lips together into a tight line.

“Why do you even care?” Yelena scoffs, her eyes narrowing slightly.

Almost reflexively, the truth tumbles out, “Because you're Nat’s little sister.”

For a brief moment, something akin to disappointment crosses Yelena's features, a shadow over her usually bright and fiery eyes. You catch that subtle shift and, for reasons you can't quite place, you're filled with a sudden urge to retract your words.

She exhales sharply, her voice laced with frustration. “So, it's always about her, isn't it? Can't I just be Yelena, without being 'Natasha's sister'? Why does everything I do or whatever happens to me always get linked back to her?”

You swallow hard, realizing your mistake and at the same time, confused as to why it seems like the wrong reason to come to her rescue. “I didn't mean it like that,” you quickly say, fishing for the right words. “I care about you too, Yelena. But yes, knowing Nat makes me more protective. I'm sorry if it came out wrong.”

Yelena simply studies you for a moment before she starts to walk past you as she says, “You say you care, but when your father passed away, you didn't seem to need either of us. Natasha and I tried to be there for you, but you shut us out.”

Your gaze drops, and you quietly fall in step behind her, knowing that she’s right. They both had a bond with your father and felt his loss deeply. While they reached out, you had inadvertently left them in the cold.

“It wasn't that I didn't need or want you both. I just... didn't know how to reach out, how to let anyone in,” Your voice is so faint that Yelena almost misses your words. Abruptly, she halts and, against her better judgment, draws you into a secluded aisle between towering bookshelves for a moment of privacy.

Her hand then reaches out, fingers lightly brushing yours. 

“Don’t shut us out. You don’t have to say anything. Just… don’t be alone. Because you’re not,” Yelena says. “Nat and I are here for you.”

You take a moment, a quiet sniffle escaping before you subtly dab the corner of your eye. Though your face remains composed and your eyes shimmer, they betray the strength you're trying to project—a strength Yelena wishes you didn’t feel compelled to display around her.

“I–I know…” you say. You squeeze her hand in gratitude before releasing it. Yelena tries not to sigh at the loss of your touch. “Is Nat upset with me?”

Yelena hesitates, keenly aware of the proximity between you two in the tight aisle. “She's... waiting, you know. We both are. We've missed you, Y/N.”

Your lips curve into a small, bashful smile. “I've missed you guys too.”

As a rosy hue tints Yelena's cheeks, she wishes, if only for a moment, that those words were meant just for her. She quickly deflects, her voice slightly uneven, “I was about to borrow this and head home,” she gestures to the book she's clutching, placing it as a barrier between you.   

“Are you planning to stay here awhile longer?” she asks.

You ponder on it for a moment before saying, “Can I come with you?”

Yelena smiles.

“Always.”

VI

“I’ve decided to enlist” Natasha tells you one afternoon after school.

“The military?” you ask, trying to maintain focus on the screen. Your fingers dance over the game controller, securing a win against Natasha yet again. You can't help but suspect that she's using this to divert your attention from the game.

“Not exactly the military,” she clarifies. “It's... well, it's for a government project. Details are classified, even from family.”

You pause the game, finally turning to give her your full attention. 

“You're serious,” you say.

Without missing a beat, Natasha resets the game, her casual demeanor juxtaposing the gravity of her decision.

“Does Yelena know?” you ask, eyes flickering towards Natasha.

She hesitates for a moment, her fingers momentarily stilling on the controller. “Not yet,” she admits, her voice softer. “But I'll tell her soon.”

“Where is she anyway?”

Natasha's gaze drifts before she answers, “She's with Jeremy.”

Your eyes harden instantly at the mention of his name, a reaction so visceral that Natasha picks up on it right away.

“You don't like him,” she observes with a smile.

“No, I don't,” you reply tersely.

Natasha's brow furrows with concern. “Did something happen at that party a little over a week ago?”

“Why do you ask?”

She exhales slowly, rubbing her temples. “Just a feeling... Yelena's been... different since then. I thought maybe you'd know why.”

You’re torn. You feel an urge to warn Natasha about this boy that Yelena’s been seeing. But the look on Yelena’s face after you hit him still haunts you to this day.

She’s obviously smitten with him. Going behind her back won’t help.

“Could you, maybe, talk to her?” Natasha asks. “She always listens to you, you know?”

You smirk, trying to lighten the mood. “That’s because I’m the voice of reason.” 

Natasha lets out a soft laugh. “That you are.”

VII

Talking to Yelena proves more challenging than you have anticipated, because you can’t seem to find her these days.

Each time you're at her and Natasha's place, she’s not home. Her room remains untouched, bed made neatly and no signs of recent activity. Natasha assures you she comes home, but always at odd hours, usually when the city's asleep.

It's surprising to learn that she's consistently invited to parties that neither you nor Natasha know about. 

The girl who keeps to herself most of the time, hiding in bookstores and libraries, has now become the talk of the town and the life of the party. You wonder when and how this transformation took place. 

And because she’s Natasha’s little sister, you can’t help but worry about her. Can’t help but think about the kind of people she surrounds herself with these days.

Can’t help but feel protective of her.

Which is why, when you accidentally run into Jeremy after scouring Yelena’s usual hunts in the East Village, you don’t hesitate to approach him even though you're painfully aware he might have every reason to retaliate for that night at the party.

He's leaning against a graffiti-splashed brick wall, a cigarette smoldering between his fingers. As you draw closer, his eyes lock onto yours, recognition igniting an unmistakable spark of animosity.

“Look who it is,” Jeremy sneers, blowing out a cloud of smoke. “What do you want?”

“I'm looking for Yelena,” you reply evenly.

He chuckles darkly and then holds the cigarette between his lips as he says, “What, are you in love with her or something?”

Your jaw tightens, trying to keep your emotions in check. “She's a family friend, okay? My best friend's sister.”

He raises an eyebrow skeptically, taking another drag from his cigarette before exhaling slowly. “I find that hard to believe, especially after the way you came at me.”

Lifting his sleeve, he reveals a dark, mottled bruise, evidence of your previous altercation. “All this for a family friend?”

“I'm protective of the people I care about,” you retort, your gaze unwavering. “Now, where is she?”

Jeremy smirks, the smoke from his cigarette curling between you two. “Why should I tell you? Maybe you should deal with your feelings first.”

You sigh, your patience waning fast. “Are you going to tell me or not?”

Jeremy takes a long drag from his cigarette, exhaling slowly. His smirk falters for a moment. “She dumped me that night,” he finally says, a hint of bitterness in his tone. “Haven't seen her since.”

You’re surprised (and mildly relieved) to learn that Yelena ended things with him that quickly.

“Then why are you still hanging around her usual spots?” you ask.

He shrugs, falling back against the brick wall, looking more dejected than you would have expected. “Hoping she'd change her mind, I guess. But if you're really desperate to find her, there's this place she mentioned once. A quiet spot by the Brooklyn Bridge, where she goes when she needs to think.”

You nod, processing the information. “Thanks for the tip,” you say reluctantly.

He spits out the blunt and then crushes it with his heel. “Whatever.”

VIII

The sun has begun to set when you arrive in Dumbo. Facing the river, with no buildings within its immediate vicinity, the wind moves freely in its playground. The East River shimmers with colors, and the Brooklyn Bridge stands out against the sky. It makes sense to you why Yelena would choose this peaceful spot in the city for solitude.

You find a series of benches scattered along the promenade, some occupied by people absorbed in their own worlds, either gazing at the river or lost in the pages of a book. 

As you walk further along the riverside, you spot a familiar figure perched on a low stone wall. Yelena, with her hair being toyed with by the wind, is staring at the water with a distant look in her eyes. She's so engrossed in her thoughts that she doesn't notice you approaching.

“Hey,” you start softly, not wanting to startle her.

She turns to look at you, surprised at first before it gradually morphs into wariness. 

“Are you stalking me?”

“No, of course not,” you answer quickly. “I was just... worried about you.”

“Worried? Why?”

“Jeremy told me you two broke up. And with you being... distant lately, I just wanted to make sure you're okay.”

Her eyes drift back to the river for a moment, and then she sighs, her shoulders slumping a little. “I didn't expect him to spill our business to you, of all people,” she mutters, sounding more hurt than angry.

“I ran into him while looking for you,” you explain, trying to ease the tension. “He suggested you might be here.”

Yelena crosses her arms, looking a bit skeptical. “So, you're here out of concern, not because you're trying to... I don't know, gloat or something?”

“Gloat?”You blink in confusion. “Why would I gloat?”

She looks away, avoiding your gaze. “Never mind.”

“I just want you to know,” you start, choosing your words carefully, “That whatever is going on, you don't have to deal with it alone. Nat is worried about you, too.”

Yelena lets out a humorless chuckle. “Nat sent you?”

“No,” you clarify, the sort-of lie coming out easily for you. Technically, she did send you, but she mentioned it in passing, hoping you’d help her get through her sister. “But she's concerned. We both are.”

Yelena hums, seemingly unsatisfied with your sentiments. 

“What are you doing here anyway?” you ask, plopping beside her.

She glances at you, then focuses on the water again. “Thinking... about everything. Did you know Natasha is leaving by the end of the month to join some weird government program?”

Your head whips around to face her, surprise evident in your eyes. "She told you?"

Yelena looks even more surprised–and a little hurt–that you already know. 

“You knew?”

You nod grimly. “But I didn’t know she’s leaving so soon.”

Yelena shakes her head, her expression souring slightly. “I found out accidentally while using her laptop the other day. There was an email opened.”

The two of you sit there in silence, both lost in thought. You miss the days when things were simpler, when the three of you would hang out without any secrets or looming departures hanging over your heads.

“I don’t want things to change,” Yelena murmurs, her voice revealing traces of the reserved young girl who once hid behind her older sister’s more confident demeanor.

You wish for the same thing, but the truth is, a lot has already changed.

Starting with the death of your father. 

And now, faced with the prospect of losing your best friend too, you don’t hesitate. You instinctively pull Yelena into a tight embrace. She stiffens momentarily but then melts into the hug, her breath warm against your shoulder, as your bodies fit together in a new and uncertain way.

IX

Natasha’s up and left by the end of September, and as a new month rolls around, you and Yelena both find yourselves spending time together without the balancing force of her sister. Those first few meetings are stilted, almost as if you're dancing around the elephant in the room. There are fumbled greetings, exchanged in hallways and awkward silences over cups of coffee.

During one of those brief encounters, Yelena mentions her struggle with math. It's a subject you've already navigated, being two years her senior. “I remember going through that topic,” you muse one day, sketching out a problem for her. She squints at your notebook, and you can see the cogs turning.

Your sessions become regular, and soon, the two of you are spending longer stretches of time together. The rhythm is slow but steady. There's a mutual understanding that neither of you want to discuss the glaring void Natasha has left behind. Instead, you bond over shared experiences, inside jokes, and little adventures in the city.

Late night study sessions turn into spontaneous pizza runs. Movie marathons evolve from strictly academic films to cult classics and cheesy rom-coms. There's an unspoken agreement that you both desperately need a distraction, and slowly, you become that for each other.

However, in the crowded hallways of school, things aren't as seamless. You have your established group, a band of friends who’ve known you for years, and their expectations of you are set in stone. Yelena, on the other hand, moves in different circles. With her distinctive style and entourage of artsy friends, they occupy spaces you rarely venture into.

Moreover, your schedules hardly ever line up. While you’re leaving for advanced courses or student council meetings, she's typically heading to the arts wing for a drama club rehearsal or a literature symposium. Those stolen moments in the library or quick nods across the cafeteria become your only connection, otherwise you’d be total strangers from an outsider’s perspective.

One day, during lunch, your friends jokingly mention the budding ‘friendship’ with Yelena. “So, tutoring the sister now? How's that going?” one of them teases. You just smile and shrug it off, but you can't help but feel a pinch of guilt for not integrating Yelena more into your world.

There are also times when Yelena's friends shoot curious glances your way, probably wondering about the nature of your relationship with her. There are whispers, but you both ignore them, focusing on the close friendship you've built, especially with Natasha gone.

It’s your senior year, and you’re just starting to see just how much you and Yelena have in common. 

You can't help but wish you'd realized this earlier, especially since you'll be heading to New York University next year.

X

One night, after you both finish watching “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” in your room, Yelena glances over at you, a kernel of popcorn held precariously between her lips.

“Have you ever been in love?”

You almost choke on your soda, before recovering to shrug and say, “I don’t think so.” You watch as Yelena smirks and slowly chews on the popcorn before licking her lips, your eyes following the movement.

“Got a crush on anyone, then?”

The word 'crush' makes your heart race for reasons you’re still unaware of. You find yourself briefly lost in the depths of her green eyes, and there's something about the way her lips curl that grabs your attention. Shaking your head subtly, you rally your thoughts.

“What about you?” you counter, turning the question back on her in an attempt to keep the spotlight away from you. “Ever been in love?”

Yelena pauses, a playful glint appearing in her eyes. She drags out the silence, clearly enjoying the suspense she's creating. “Maybe,” she finally admits with a sly smile.

That simple word instantly has your undivided attention. “Who is it?”

She bites her lip, a move that draws your gaze and makes your heart beat a tad faster. “It's a secret,” she says teasingly.

“Do I know them?”

Instead of answering, she just gives you a mischievous smile and, in a swift move, pulls the covers over herself, hiding underneath. You can hear her giggling, leaving you with more questions than answers.

You chuckle, grabbing a flashlight from your bedside table and diving under the covers alongside her, illuminating both your faces with its soft glow. The confined space brings you closer, close enough to notice the details of her face and the nervous twinkle in her eyes.

“Is it Jeremy?” you ask hesitantly, the guilt from the incident at the party still weighing on you. “I'm so sorry about that night. I never should've–”

“No, it’s not him,” she cuts you off, shaking her head emphatically, her hand lightly touching your arm. “It’s someone else... someone I've felt this way about for a while. For a long time, just loving them from a distance felt enough. But now...” Yelena trails off, her eyes searching yours, for something that might hint that you know who she is talking about. 

That she’s talking about you. 

“...now I’m not so sure it is,” she quietly finishes. 

But your eyes give away your confusion, showing her you can't quite pinpoint who she's referring to. Moreso, when you say, “I hate that they’re making you sad.”

“It’s complicated,” Yelena says. “Sure, the thought of her not feeling the same way stings, but she brings me so much joy. The happiness she offers is greater than the pain. That has to mean something, right?”

“She?”

Yelena freezes at her slip-up. 

“Yes... she,” Yelena drawls. She takes a deep breath, steeling herself. “Nat doesn’t know. I haven't exactly been open about it. Not with anyone, really.”

You shift closer to her, ensuring she feels your presence and support. “Hey, I'm really honored you trust me with this. You never have to change or hide who you are around me. I love you just the way you are.”

She turns her head, her expression simultaneously hopeful and uncertain. “You love me?”

Without hesitation, you nod. “Of course. Yelena, between you, Nat, and my mom, you're the most important people in my life. I've always felt that way.”

She bites her lip, absorbing your words. “Oh,” is all she manages initially. The silence stretches between the two of you, heavy with something you both can’t put a name to. Then, in a voice so soft you almost miss it, she murmurs, “I love you too.”

You weren’t expecting to feel anything differently when she says it back, but you do–

So much, that you consciously maintain a safe distance between your bodies as you both eventually fall asleep.

XI

Days go by, and you start seeing Yelena differently. 

Little things about her catch your eye, like how the sun hits her hair or the way she laughs. You find yourself thinking about her more often than not, even during lectures. 

One afternoon, you're studying together, and you realize you've been staring at the way she holds her pen for far too long. There's a song playing in the background, its lyrics vague and unimportant, but you can't help thinking how it's something she'd love.

But it’s those quiet nights, when the world is asleep, that your thoughts become more personal, more intimate. On one of these nights, as you’re ensnared in those thoughts, warmth spreading all over your body, your phone suddenly rings.

It’s Yelena. Hastily, you pull your hand away from your soaked underwear and try to sound casual as she asks you about a school project that you’ve tackled before. You can’t help but notice how huskier her voice has gotten recently, and as soon as the call ends, you’re shuffling your pants down your legs and fucking yourself with two fingers, coming to the name of your best friend’s sister on your lips.

What follows after is a deep-seated shame. You bury your face into your pillow, trying to muffle the self-reproach that threatens to spill over. 

Now, each time your mind drifts to Yelena, there's a budding warmth, but it's quickly doused by guilt and the looming shadow of Natasha. The trepidation of how she might react to your burgeoning feelings for her younger sister haunts your every thought. Would she see it as a betrayal? As you, taking advantage of Yelena? Or would she understand that feelings, often unexpected and inconvenient, have a way of creeping in?

Days turn into weeks, and you do your best to suppress these emotions, to lock them away and throw away the key. But they have a pesky way of resurfacing when you least expect them to, making ordinary interactions with Yelena charged with a tension you can't shake off.

It's during one such interaction, when you're helping Yelena with a school project at her house, that she catches you staring a moment too long. Her eyebrows knit in confusion, and for a second, you think she's going to question you. But she doesn't, and you're left wondering if she feels it too. Feels a surge of current coursing through her body at any point of contact between your bodies.

XII

The air in Montauk is usually so soothing, but not today. 

Walking through the front door, you immediately notice the empty spaces, corners that were once filled with your father’s belongings. Bewilderment strikes you first. Your eyes dart around the room, trying to take in the enormity of the situation. His jackets are no longer on the hook, his books absent from the shelf. That worn-out armchair where he used to sit with a cup of coffee every morning is no longer there.

The sound of paper crackling captures your attention, and you follow it to the backyard. Your heart plummets when you see your mom tossing pictures into a growing flame. It feels as if time has stopped, as you watch memories being consumed by fire. Each photo that curls, blackens, and disintegrates feels like a piece of your heart being pulled apart.

A scream of anguish and rage leaves your mouth before you can think.

 “What are you doing?!” you shout, rushing forward to snatch what remains of the photos. But the damage has been done.

Your mother's face is a complex mosaic of pain, anger, and a little lunacy. “It's time,” she retorts, her voice brittle but resolute. “Time to move on.”

“How could you?” Your voice breaks, kicking the bench where your father used to lounge in, enjoying a cup of coffee.

Feeling the walls of your house closing in on you, you snatch a small box of photos, the only things that haven't met the flames yet, and storm out.

XIII

The Romanoffs’ residence automatically becomes your refuge.

You don’t even knock, you just barge in, your breaths coming fast, tears streaming down your face. It doesn't take Yelena long to figure out that something's wrong, and she envelops you in a warm, solid embrace.

Her fingers run through your hair soothingly, her voice a gentle murmur in your ear. “It’s okay, let it out,” she whispers, guiding you down the hallway towards her bedroom. Posters of classic horror films adorn her walls, giving the space a uniquely edgy feel. By the side, a stack of books teeters precariously, evidence of her voracious reading habits and an already overflowing bookshelf. Now that you've spent more time in it over the past few months, Yelena's room feels even more familiar than Natasha's ever did.

Before you know it, you're lying down, with Yelena sitting beside you, her hand never leaving yours. Overwhelmed and exhausted, sleep claims you amidst your tears.

Later in the night, you’re woken up by the clinking of a tray. Blinking your eyes open, you see Yelena by your side. She’s holding a plate of something warm and there's a pill and a glass of water on the tray beside her.

“Figured you’d have a killer headache from all that crying,” she says, handing over the pill. Her voice is soft, teasing even, trying to inject some lightness into the heavy atmosphere.

“You made dinner?” Your voice is a croaky whisper.

“Didn't want you starving on me,” she says, shrugging with a smile before setting the tray on the night table beside you. 

And then she starts to ramble, her cheeks tinged pink with embarrassment, “I really don't know how to cook, so I just tried frying some spam. Then I ended up burning one side. I swear, every time I try to cook, I just—”

But you're barely hearing her. In that moment, it hits you just how much she's wormed her way into your heart. In an impulsive moment, powered by emotions running high, you reach out, cupping her face in your hands, and pull her towards you.

The kiss is a sweet, brief meeting of lips, but in that fleeting moment, it communicates more than words ever could. When you pull back, the air between you is thick and your lips are tingling and all you can think about is how much you want to lean in and kiss her again. Yelena's eyes search yours, both of you realizing that things may never be the same again.

Yelena seems to be processing, her green eyes wide and a little unfocused. The softness of her lips still lingers on yours, and the magnitude of what just happened starts to sink in. 

Panic flares in your chest.

“I... I need to go,” you stammer, your mind racing for a reasonable excuse. You can't stay, not now. Not with the desire to push her down the bed looming over your head.

Before she can say anything, before she can even move, you're out of the room, leaving behind a dazed Yelena, clutching the tray she had brought for you, the scent of the burnt Spam still lingering in the room.

XIV

You avoid Yelena at all costs.

For the first three days, your phone buzzes constantly with her calls and texts, and you muster the will to ignore every single one.

At school, you find yourself darting through hallways and taking longer, circuitous routes just to dodge the places where you might bump into her. The hangout spots you both frequented over the past months—the tiny café by the library, the secret alcove behind the gym—are now places you avoid like the plague.

You switch up your post-school routine, taking a completely different path home, even if it means walking an extra mile. Friends begin to notice the lengths you're going to just to not see her and they shoot you questioning looks, but you shrug them off, not ready to talk about it.

There's even a wild, desperate thought about dropping out of school. But every time it comes to the forefront of your mind, you push it away. You're in your senior year; leaving now would mean throwing away all the work you've put in. Plus, you're on the cusp of moving away, starting anew. You just need to endure a little longer.

Every day feels heavier. On one hand, you want to duck and dodge, stay out of Yelena's path until you've figured what it means for you, for her, for your friendship with Natasha. On the other, you're missing her like crazy. More than once, you've caught yourself about to call or text her, only to stop, unsure and overwhelmed. 

And when she stops calling and texting, every time your phone lights up with a notification, a part of you wishes it's her, another hopes it isn't.

And the worst part? The gnawing feeling inside that tells you that the longer you avoid her, the greater the risk of losing her for good. And you're not ready for that. Not by a long shot.

XV

You hide in your room. No one is answering because your mother is still at work, so you just listen to Yelena ringing the doorbell until it stops. You press your ear against the door of your room, straining to hear any signs of movement from downstairs. But there's no one.

And when the ringing stops–for a good ten seconds–you let out a quiet sigh of relief. But just as that thought that she’s given up crosses your mind, there's a sudden thud against your window. Jumping, you pull back the curtain a tad and spot Yelena, a frown carved deep on her face, a couple of pebbles in her hand.

“Come face me, you coward!” she yells, making you wince.

Flustered, you motion frantically for her to head to the front door. After making sure you’re decent enough to receive her, you take a deep breath and head downstairs.

When you open the door, Yelena stands there, eyes boring into you. She’s clearly angry and frustrated, and regardless of those, she still manages to take your breath away.

Yelena steps closer, into the little space you’ve unconsciously provided by opening the door, narrowing the gap between the two of you. Her proximity makes it difficult to think clearly. 

“Why did you run that night?” she asks pointedly, the confusion and hurt undeniable in the way her voice thickens and shakes. “And why have you been avoiding me ever since?”

You look down at your feet as she tries to chase your line of sight. “It's not that I don't want to be around you, Yelena,” you start. “In fact, I want to be around you all the time.”

Yelena’s breath hitches at that. She frowns, trying to decipher your meaning. “So, what’s the problem?”

You muster the courage to lift your chin and finally meet her gaze. “I like you. A lot. So much, in fact, that I'm terrified of what could happen next. I'm scared I won't be able to hold back from falling in love with you.”

She blinks, taking in your confession. “You're such a stupid idiot,” she mutters, more to herself than to you.

“You know those are synonyms, right?” you retort, trying to inject some levity into conversation. 

She arches an eyebrow, “Dense.”

“That's just another synonym,” you mumble, meeting her challenging stare.

But before you can come up with another witty retort, she closes the gap between you two, whispering, “Shut up and kiss me.”

XVI

It’s getting harder and harder to control yourself around Yelena. Being around her has started to feel like you're navigating a minefield.

There's that time you're lounging in her bedroom, reading a book while she goes to shower. The sound of water running and the muffled hum of her voice singing a familiar tune combine to become your favorite music. The soft sheets of her bed, the faint scent of her on the pillow next to you, and the intimate setting conspire against your self-control. You have to consciously remind yourself to breathe evenly, to focus on the words in front of you, and not on the vision of Yelena in the shower.

Even small moments become loaded. Like when she's talking to you, and she tilts her head, exposing the soft curve of her neck. The light catches on her skin just right, and all you can think of is how it would feel under your lips. How she might shiver at your touch, how the pulse beating beneath her skin might race under your caresses.

Then there's the way she's been touching you more. A brush of her fingers, lingering hugs, those almost-too-close moments that send shivers down your spine. It feels like she’s playing a game, seeing how far she can push before you crack.

The dreams aren’t helping either. Some nights they’re tender, others they’re, well, a bit more heated. Waking up from them leaves you flushed and out of sorts.

One balmy afternoon, as the sun's rays filter through the slits of your bedroom curtains, the two of you find yourselves tangled once again. Suddenly, as you're catching your breath, Yelena pulls back slightly, looking deeply into your eyes, the desire evident. “I want you,” she whispers breathlessly, her voice shaking with want.

You freeze, her words threatening to make you combust. “Yelena,” you start, throat dry, “I don't think we should. Natasha doesn't even know about...this.”

She scoffs, rolling her eyes with an exasperated sigh. “This isn't on us. Natasha's off at some super-secretive training camp. How are we supposed to tell her?”

You try a different approach. “You’re sixtee–”

“You’re seventeen,” she cuts you off quickly.

You smile softly at the pout forming on her lips. “I’m turning eighteen next week.”

“Semantics,” Yelena argues.

Your chest tightens, and you finally admit, “There's something else. I've... I've never been with anyone like that before.”

To your surprise, Yelena's confident demeanor falters. She looks away, biting her lip, “Me neither.”

Your eyes widen. “But... Jeremy?”

She looks away, biting her lip. “That night you punched him? That night, it's supposed to happen. But…” She takes a deep breath, her eyes searching yours. “All I can think of is you being outside that room. I can't do it. I've always... I've always wanted it to be you.”

The fact that she hasn’t been with anyone makes you even more nervous. You want her first time to be memorable and good.

“Yelena, uhm,” you start, fidgeting under her gaze. “I have no idea what to do.”

Her thumb brushes over the back of your hand, a soothing gesture. “Neither do I. But that's okay. We have each other.”

“And if we mess up?”

She smirks a little, that playful glint returning to her eyes. “Then we mess up together.”

XVII

It’s a mess, but neither of you would call it ‘messing up’.

When you’ve removed the final piece of clothing off her body, you find yourself staring at the juncture between her legs, your mouth watering at the sight of it.

It’s a beautiful mess.

Yelena shifts slightly, drawing your attention back to her face. Those brilliant eyes of hers are watching you, filled with understanding and the smallest hint of amusement. “First time seeing one up close?” she teases gently, breaking the tension.

Your cheeks warm, but you don’t look away. “You could say that.”

She reaches out, her fingers gently lifting your chin, guiding you to meet her gaze. “It's okay. Remember? We're learning together.”

You nod, kissing her fingers before she lets go of your chin. 

“But please, touch me already,” Yelena husks out, arching her back and lifting her hips closer to your face in offering. “You’re driving me crazy.”

With that, you let go of your reservations, letting instinct take over. 

But you take your time.

You slide your hands under her buttocks, palming her cheeks and keeping her place just in case. The heady scent of her arousal draws you in closer, a fresh wave of wetness collecting between your own thighs. 

Tentatively, you stick your tongue out to touch its tip against the hood of her clit. The sharp intake of Yelena's breath and her subtle tremor give away her anticipation, making the corners of your mouth lift in a fleeting smile. It’s such a small action, and you can’t believe how responsive and needy she’s become.

“God, you're perfect,” you murmur, before flattening your tongue against her core and licking the entire length of her. Your eyes fall shut the moment you taste Yelena for the first time. She tastes as good as she smells, and you can’t help but repeat the act again and again. Each pass draws a deeper reaction from her, coaxing more wetness to cover the lower half of your face. As Yelena's responses intensify, you're grateful for your foresight in keeping her grounded, especially when she instinctively tries to pull away from the overwhelming sensations you're giving her. 

Opening your eyes, you’re met with the most gorgeous sight of Yelena–her fingers clutch at the pillows, pulling them close, while her body arches and writhes–a pure picture of ecstasy. 

Emboldened by her reactions, you focus your attention on her clit, drawing the sensitive nub into your mouth, letting a gentle suction build. The sound Yelena makes is sharp and unguarded, her fingers weaving into your hair, pulling you closer, urging you closer to her heat. 

The flush on Yelena's face intensifies, painting a path from her cheeks to her collarbone as you continue your ministrations. The squelching sounds created by your eager mouth intermingle with her breathy moans, the rustle of the sheets beneath, and your own low sounds of appreciation.

Sensing her impending climax, you momentarily cease the gentle suction, prompting a desperate plea from Yelena, “Please…” But before she can voice her needs, you plunge back in, your tongue swirling insistently around her sensitive nub.

With a final, muffled cry into the pillows, Yelena's body convulses, waves of pleasure coursing through her. You ease your movements, allowing her to ride out the aftershocks of her climax.

Gradually, Yelena's breathing steadies. The vibrant flush of arousal is gradually replaced by a more relaxed hue. Still nestled between her thighs, you place gentle kisses on her inner legs, giving her time to come down from her euphoric high.

Her fingers, previously tangled in your hair, begin to relax, though she doesn’t release you entirely. Instead, they trace delicate patterns along the nape of your neck and your shoulders. A contented sigh escapes her, and you can feel her legs relaxing around you, the earlier tension now but a memory.

Taking this as your cue, you wipe your mouth and chin and gently climb up, situating yourself beside her, pulling her into a close embrace. Her head rests against your chest, listening to the thud of your heart, which beats just as erratically as hers.

“You okay?” you ask softly, brushing stray strands of hair from her face.

She nods, her lips curving into a small, satisfied smile. “More than okay,” she murmurs, snuggling closer. “Thank you.”

You both lay there in comfortable silence, enjoying the warmth of each other's presence. The outside world feels distant, irrelevant. 

After what feels like hours but is probably just minutes, Yelena tilts her head up to meet your gaze, her eyes turning a darker shade of green again. 

“My turn,” she whispers, her hands already exploring.

A soft chuckle escapes your lips as you arch an eyebrow, the sudden role reversal causing a thrill of anticipation to snake through you. “Impatient, are we?" you tease, the hint of a smirk playing on your lips.

Yelena grins, her fingers deftly tracing a path along your collarbone, down your chest, eliciting a shiver from you. “Maybe I've just learned from the best,” she counters playfully, pressing her lips briefly against your neck.

She doesn't rush, taking her time, soaking in every one of your reactions. The softest of kisses to the inside of your wrist has you inhaling sharply. Yelena watches, a glint of mischief in her eyes, before repeating the action, this time lingering longer. Each delicate press of her lips feels like a brand, and you're aware of the rising heat that courses through your body, centered where you want her most.

The press of her thumb against your pulse point, just beneath your jawline, elicits an unexpected moan from your lips. She chuckles softly, clearly pleased with the discovery. “Found a new spot, did I?” Yelena whispers, her voice husky.

Your response is lost as her mouth travels down, her tongue painting a trail down your collarbone, causing you to arch into her touch. “Yelena…” your voice is a breathy plea, laced with desperation.

Her fingers splay across your abdomen, her touch light, almost ticklish. It's a stark contrast to the firm press of her lips against the soft flesh of your thigh. Your hands find her hair, urging her closer, but Yelena pulls away, teasing.

Her eyes meet yours, filled with a playful defiance. “Patience,” she chides, her hot breath against your skin sending another shiver down your spine.

The build-up is excruciating, driving you to your limits.

When her lips finally meet the wetness between your thighs, the sensation is electric. She starts by laying a series of soft kisses there, each one making your hips jerk slightly, seeking more of her. Her tongue dips into you, tasting, exploring, teasing.

Her fingers join in, sliding through your wetness, gathering it before pressing into you. The combined sensation of her fingers moving inside while her mouth focuses on your clit is almost too much to bear. The slick sounds of her mouth on you, combined with the rhythmic thrusting of her fingers, fills the room. The dampness between your legs grows with each pull and push, with every flick and suck she delivers.

As Yelena works her magic, she surprises you by letting her fingers wander further back, teasing the rim of your other hole. The unexpected sensation causes you to gasp sharply, eyes widening in surprise and a new sort of arousal.

“Trust me?” she murmurs against your heated skin, her voice a low rumble that sends another jolt of pleasure through you.

All you can do is nod, your usual articulateness lost to the whirlwind of sensation. With the slickness from your arousal aiding her, Yelena gently applies pressure there, testing, probing, adding a new layer to the pleasure. The combination of her mouth, fingers inside you, and this new, intimate exploration has you spiraling.

Your fingers clutch her head, guiding her, even as your back arches, pushing yourself further into her touch. Yelena, sensing your nearness to the edge, doubles her efforts. The world blurs out, every nerve ending centered on the wet slide of her fingers and the firm, insistent press of her mouth against your most sensitive spot. With a final cry, you come around Yelena’s fingers, leaving you trembling, soaked, and sated beneath her.

For a moment, there's nothing but the two of you—the heavy breaths, the shared warmth, and the intoxicating scent of your combined arousal.

Then, with a tantalizing slowness, Yelena extracts her fingers from within you. You can feel their absence keenly, the cool air hitting the warmth they've just left behind. As she brings her fingers to her face, the wetness on them catches the dim light, making your heart race even faster.

Her eyes, dark with desire, lock onto yours. You're held captive by that gaze, and then with a smirk, she slides her fingers into her mouth, sucking on them deeply, audibly. The sound, the sight of it, is almost too much.

“Yum,” she murmurs, her voice dripping with mischief and satisfaction. The single word breaks the spell, sending another jolt of heat through you. 

You don't even get a moment to process her bold move because, in the next heartbeat, you're overcome with a renewed surge of desire. Drawing Yelena closer, you can feel the slick heat of her pressing against you, the intimate wetness of your arousal mingling together.

The sensation of her clit, swollen and sensitive, rubbing against yours elicits deep, guttural moans from both of you. Your hands grasp her hips, guiding and urging her into a rhythm that sends sparks of pleasure ricocheting through your body. The room is filled with the sounds of skin on skin, punctuated by the wet slide of your clits moving together, and the heady scent of sex.

Yelena's eyes, half-lidded and wild, fixate on yours, capturing every reaction, every moan that slips past your parted lips. Her fingers dig into your hips, anchoring herself to you, as your bodies grind together, lost in wild abandon. 

Your hands cradle Yelena's face, bringing her mouth to yours. As your lips meet, the kiss is all-consuming—a frenzied mix of passion and urgency, the taste of you still on her tongue.

Your hips falter, and you can't hold back the whimper that escapes when you feel that familiar sensation above your groin. The sensation of Yelena's body moving against yours, combined with the feel of her lips and the taste of her mouth, pushes you closer and closer to the brink.

Your focus narrows to the point where the only thing that matters is the tantalizing friction between the two of you. Yelena's rhythm matches yours, her hips moving urgently against your own. 

“God... don't stop,” Yelena breathes into your ear, her voice shaky with need.

Your reply is caught by a moan as the coil in your belly tightens even more, threatening to snap. “Yelena…” you manage, voice raspy and broken.

Suddenly, her teeth bite down into your shoulder, making you gasp. “Sorry,” she mumbles against your skin, but you can hear the edge of ecstasy in her voice.

“It's okay,” you manage, voice strained with pleasure. “Feels... good.”

Yelena's hips grind unevenly against yours, the slickness between you both growing with each movement. Every thrust sends ripples of pleasure through you both, wetness mixing and coating your inner thighs, creating a deliciously slippery friction. You can feel the warmth of her arousal as it mingles with your own, the combined sensation dizzying.

“God... can you feel that?” Yelena gasps, her voice ragged and desperate.

“Yes,” you breathe, nearly overwhelmed by the sensation. The raw intensity of the moment, the feeling of her wetness against yours, is almost too much to bear.

“I'm close,” she warns, her voice strained.

“Fuck, me too,” you whisper back, lost in the sensation.

Suddenly, Yelena's body stiffens, her muffled cry against your shoulder sending vibrations straight to your core. The feeling of her release, warm and wet against you, combined with the bite of pain from her teeth, triggers your own climax. Your bodies shake together, still feeling the rush of pleasure even after the most intense moments have passed.

The room falls silent except for the sounds of your labored breaths and the gentle rustling of sheets. The rawness of the moment makes your skin tingle, and you become acutely aware of the warm stickiness between your thighs and the pulsating ache where Yelena had left her mark on your shoulder.

She pulls back slightly, her green eyes, now softened, searching yours. The corners of her lips tug upwards in a tender, adoring smile. “That was…”

“...unreal,” you finish, still catching your breath.

She chuckles lightly, shifting her weight to lie beside you. “Yeah, I didn't think... I mean, I hoped, but that was…”

“Beyond words,” you murmur, pulling her closer until she’s resting on top of you.

You both lay there for a moment, bodies intertwined, enjoying the afterglow. Yelena reaches out to caress the bite mark she left, a look of concern crossing her features. “Did I hurt you?” she murmurs, lips brushing against the reddened skin.

You wince slightly at her touch but shake your head. “It’ll bruise, but it's okay. Kind of like it, actually,” you say with a sly grin, making her laugh.

She leans down, pressing a gentle kiss on the bite mark, her lips lingering against your skin. “Sorry, I got carried away,” she mumbles against your shoulder.

“You have nothing to apologize for,” you reassure her, tilting her chin up to capture her lips in a soft, languid kiss. “But maybe we should clean up a bit.”

She nods in agreement, and the two of you untangle yourselves from the sheets. The air feels cooler against your flushed skin as you help each other clean up, using damp cloths to wipe away the evidence of your shared passion.

Afterward, Yelena snuggles close, her head resting on your chest, listening to your heartbeat. 

You drape an arm over her, fingers absentmindedly playing with her hair. “I’m glad it was with you,” you whisper, pressing a kiss on the top of her head.

“I love you,” she says, tightening her grip around you. Those three words nearly bring tears to your eyes as a surge of affection for the girl in your arms envelops you.

“I love you too.”

XVIII

You want it to last forever.

More than exploring each other’s bodies nearly every night, you want each moment spent with Yelena to last forever. You might think it's too soon, but honestly, it feels like you've known her forever. 

She’s it.

She’s the one.

Time, however, has its own pace. Before you know it, you and Yelena are receiving an email from Natasha herself that she will be coming home in two weeks. You can't help but feel a growing tension, a deadline looming over your idyllic world. But at the same time, you’re excited to have your best friend back.

One evening, as you both lay in bed, the soft glow from the streetlights outside illuminating the room, you broach the subject. 

“When Nat comes back,” you start, tracing patterns on Yelena's arm, “I want to make us official. Tell her about us.”

Yelena's gaze meets yours, and though she nods, there's a hesitation in her eyes, a shadow of doubt. “Of course,” she replies, but her voice lacks the enthusiasm you'd hoped for. But for now, you pull her close, not wanting to read much into things especially with how perfect the past few months have been.

XIX

The atmosphere feels different since Natasha’s unexpected return. 

A few days have passed, but the three of you continue to circle around each other, resembling planets in an unsure orbit. Yelena and Natasha seem wrapped up in their own reunion, while you tread carefully, waiting for the right moment to bring up your relationship with Yelena.

This evening, you find your opening. Yelena has stepped out, leaving you and Natasha alone in the living room, sitting at opposite ends of the couch. 

“Has Yelena told you anything recently?” you finally break the silence, your voice betraying a hint of nervousness. 

Natasha tilts her head, narrowing her eyes slightly. “What do you mean?”

“Did she mention something big? I mean… you were gone for quite some time and I understand if you’re shocked, but–”

“Uh, yeah, she did mention something,” Natasha interjects softly. “She got accepted to a program in Leeds.”

The world seems to tilt off its axis. Leeds?

“What?” you ask, failing to keep your voice down.

This is news to you. What’s going on?

“She’s leaving in ten days,” Natasha continues, looking at you curiously. “You didn’t know?”

XX

You only realize Yelena's been distancing herself when you hear about Leeds.

Even though you still see her every day, she's managed to avoid spending time alone with you. Every time the topic of informing Natasha about your relationship comes up, she finds an excuse to divert or leave. Now, she consistently includes Natasha in your plans, turning what were once dates into casual hangouts.

As school ends one afternoon, you spot Yelena's familiar figure quickly exiting the building, her pace hurried, as though trying to escape. It's evident she's avoiding running into you on her way home. You remember the desperation that had led you to skip your last class, just so you could finally confront her.

Taking a deep breath, you quickly catch up to her. 

“Yelena!” you call out. 

She pauses, her shoulders tensing, and then slowly turns to face you. There's a hesitance in her eyes, but you're determined.

“Why Leeds?” you blurt out, all your emotions hinging on that single question.

She exhales sharply, looking as if she's been cornered, her gaze darting around. “I... I applied a while ago. Before everything between us started.”

Your heart sinks. “Were you planning on just disappearing without saying anything?”

Yelena's eyes shimmer with unshed tears. “I was scared,” she admits. “I didn't know how to tell you.”

“That's not fair,” you say, your voice choked. 

She nods, biting her lip. “I know. I'm sorry.”

“I just...when did you apply?” you ask, trying to make sense of the timeline in your head.

“After Natasha told me about her own plans,” Yelena whispers. That was before you saw her in this new, intimate way, before everything between you two began. “I thought it would be best if I too had something to focus on.”

Your eyebrows furrow in confusion. “So you applied because Natasha was leaving? Why didn’t you tell me? We could have figured something out together.”

She sighs, her gaze drifting downwards. “It was a spontaneous decision, a way to cope with the changes, I guess. And then, you and I happened... It all went too fast. Before I knew it, I was accepted and suddenly, telling you became the hardest thing to do.”

The realization stings. All those moments, all those memories, and all the while, there was this looming secret she hadn't shared. “So,” you mutter, a tremor in your voice. “This was all just... a distraction for you?”

Yelena's eyes snap up, wide and filled with panic. “No! Never! It wasn't like that at all. What we had, what we shared, it was real for me. More real than anything I've ever felt.”

Your eyes blur as tears gather around your eyes. “Then why Leeds? Why not tell me? Why not give us a chance?”

You find yourself repeating the questions, hoping that if said enough, they might somehow reshape the truth, making it easier for you to accept and move on.

“I didn't want to put you in that position," she confesses, her voice breaking. “To make you choose or feel tied down. I love you too much for that.”

You exhale deeply, gritting your teeth in order to hold yourself together. “Yelena, love also means being honest and facing challenges together."

“I know,” she whispers, unable to hold back her own tears. “I'm so sorry.”

The world around you seems to blur. “So, is this it? Are we just... done?”

She hesitates for a moment, searching your eyes for understanding. “I don’t want to hold you back, and I need to focus on this new chapter. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us.”

Nodding slowly, you muster the strength to say, “Goodbye, Yelena.”

XXI

For several days, your room's four walls become your entire world. Natasha, sensing something amiss, checks on you with growing concern. When she questions your seclusion, you blame it on a virus, claiming it's safer for you to stay isolated. But the truth is, your heart is shattered, and you can't bring yourself to share the painful reality with your closest friend.

At first, Yelena's messages are filled with apologies, each one dripping with regret. But as the days go by, her tone shifts. There's worry evident in the string of texts that asks if you're okay, questions about your health, pleas for just one response.

Then, as silence from your end persists, the messages take on an edge. “Is this really how you want to handle things?�� one of them reads. “After everything, you're just going to shut me out completely?”The accusations sting, but you're in so much pain already that it hardly makes a difference.

A particularly scathing text catches your eye one evening: “I thought we meant more to each other. Is this really how you want us to end?”

The screen blurs in front of you as tears threaten, leaving you torn between reaching out and honoring the goodbye you've already given.

XXII

Seven long days of silence later, something shifts within you. 

Distance can't be an end. You can't let it. You decide it's time to act, to see Yelena, to tell her that you’re willing to put in the work despite the long distance.

Pulling on a jacket, you make your way to her house. Your mind races, framing and reframing the words you want to say, the assurances you want to give, the hope you want to share.

As you approach the house, you immediately notice the absence of music from the living room. Yelena always ensured a playlist was playing in the background, a comforting constant whenever they were home. That familiar comfort is missing now, replaced by an unsettling silence. A knot of unease forms in your stomach. You knock, hoping against hope.

The door opens, and there stands Natasha, mildly surprised to find you at her doorstep. 

“Hey! Wasn't expecting you today,” she greets with a lightness. “You here for Yelena?”

You nod, trying to find your voice. "Yeah, I wanted to talk to her."

A puzzled look crosses Natasha's face. “Oh, she said she talked to you a couple of days ago. I thought... Anyway, she took an earlier flight this morning. I assumed she told you?”

The ground seems to fall away beneath you. You manage a weak smile, masking the wave of emotions threatening to overwhelm you. “I must've missed that. Thanks, Natasha. Maybe I’ll just text her…I think I left something on at home. Better head back.”

You retreat before Natasha can ask any more questions, literally running out of the house before you fall apart in front of her.

Reaching your place, you shut the door behind you, leaning against it as if trying to barricade yourself from the outside world. Your phone buzzes with a message notification. It's from Yelena: 

I'm sorry.

[dandelion-wings]

Saw a post today that gave me Thoughts about Kaeya and trust and signifiers thereof. Some of them very conflicting thoughts (I have multiple conflicting but all very concrete versions of, at minimum, how easily he might sleep around Jean and Diluc), but I picked some individual ones and decided to try a writing exercise.

ETA: now cleaned up and available on AO3!

---

Crepus sits and watches the boy he's found pretend to sleep. He has the soft, steady breathing, and the still relaxation of his muscles, and occasional little snorts and snuffles and shifts. But there's always a pause in his breathing right before he moves, and that gives him away.

Someday, Crepus hopes, he'll trust them enough that he won't have to pretend.

---

Adelinde pushes the door open, quietly as she can, just a crack, and peers into the young master's room. There Kaeya is, Diluc curled protectively around him, grip tight even in his sleep. Kaeya cracks his eye open to meet hers, quietly assessing. One hand is tucked under the pillow in a deliberate fashion.

She nods to Kaeya, closes the door, and goes to reassure Master Crepus that his young charge hasn't run back off to Sumeru again.

---

Jean sits at Kaeya's bedside, turning everything he's told her over in her head. She'll have to tell Varka, and there will have to be more follow-up; even kept secret to them, this will mean questions, plans, failsafes, because Kaeya can't promise that he's safe.

But that can wait. He'd stayed awake barely long enough to let her tend to his eye, the one he has good reason not to let anyone see, and then collapsed in her room like a puppet with his strings cut. Whatever might come next, the least Jean can do for him is guard his rest, and let him set his fears aside until morning.

---

Klee never wakes up before Kaeya does, no matter how hard she tries. He'll seem to fall asleep with her if she curls up with him on the couch, but the moment she stirs he's blinking sleepily at her. Even when she sleeps over at his house, he's always awake in the living room when she tries to creep out of the bedroom to make toast before he gets up.

He'll let her make the toast herself anyway, though, so Klee doesn't mind that she hasn't managed to sneak past him yet.

---

Lisa is almost certain that Kaeya was napping on-duty in the library. Almost, because when she catches him sprawled on her couch he has a book in hand and a lazy smile of greeting, but he looks a little too rumpled to have simply been reading, and he's holding the book upside down.

Lisa considers evicting him, but only for a moment. She installed the couch there for a reason, after all. Instead she sits down and starts a pot of tea boiling for them both.

---

Amber hates going on overnight missions with Kaeya. He barely sleeps during her watches, sitting up at every noise like he doesn't trust her to stand guard. Even though she'd actually caught the one time hilichurls tried to sneak up on them all on her own!

This time, though, she finds a good defensible spot, and Kaeya drops off to sleep for real and doesn't wake once. Amber is pleased about that until she has to make breakfast all by herself the next morning, and when he finally wakes up he gives her a hard time about her coffee.

---

Eula strides into Jean's office, and Kaeya rolls off the couch, still half-tangled in a blanket, hand on the hilt of his sword. He blinks at her blearily and then sits back on the couch, straightening the blanket.

She only nods at him before turning to Jean. By now, Eula knows it isn't her family name that makes him wary. She's not going to take offense to reflexes that he can't help.

---

Rosaria rarely volunteers to monitor the cathedral's patients, but if Kaeya has to stay the night, it's because he needs to actually rest. He won't do that on his own. So she sits by his bed and lets him talk his nerves out until he finally drifts off.

He returns the favor a week later, not even chiding her for her carelessness in getting injured, just slipping into the cathedral and settling in by her bed. Rosaria lets his empty chatter fade into the background and drowses, secure in the knowledge that they each have the other to watch their back.

---

Diluc doesn't expect Kaeya to actually take him up on the offer of a bed, and when he does, Diluc doesn't expect him to sleep. What's the deluge outside against sharing a room with the man who once tried to kill him?

But Kaeya accepts, and when Diluc returns from his evening ablutions, he finds his brother already asleep. Or seeming to be; Diluc studies him a long time, looking for any sign that it's feigned. He settles into bed still uncertain, but with a tiny spark of warmth in his chest, the hope that maybe this means the trust broken between them is starting to be regained.

[sky-fire-forever]

Happy friday! For Morrigan/Warden: ❛  you deserve better than who i am right now, but i'm gonna keep trying to become someone you do deserve.  ❜

Thank you so much for the prompt! For this one, I used my Warden Benten Brosca, who uses he/him pronouns!

Morrigan knows when she's being watched. It's the feeling like an itch beneath her skin, causing the hairs in the back of her neck to stand on end. It's a feeling that makes her want to flee, to fight, to shapeshift into a creature with fangs so she can bury them in the throat of whatever voyeur dares watch her without permission. 

When she looks up, the eyes on her are warm and inviting, with a crinkle around them that hints at a smile hidden by a bushy beard. They hold no judgment nor malice like she expected. They simply watch her with a fondness she hasn't yet grown used to. 

“You're staring,” she points out, hoping to sound more irritated than flustered. She isn't certain how well she succeeds. 

“I know,” Benten says without taking his eyes off of her. “It's a lovely view.”

Morrigan feels her cheeks warm at the flirtation and internally curses herself for it. She should be used to these compliments by now, used to Benten’s charm and warmth, the ease with which he says whatever’s on his mind. But somehow it still feels foreign to her, even after purposefully seducing him for her own ends. 

The problem is that Benten is too earnest about his affections. He cares deeply and it’s evident in how he speaks to her — like he loves her, because he does love her and isn’t he a fool for it?

Morrigan isn’t used to such open warmth from men or from anyone, really; her mother certainly hadn’t been giving out compliments freely and she’s spoken to very few other people in her life. She’d been taught that open affection is like advertising one’s weaknesses, putting them on display for anyone to take advantage of. 

Yet, Benten doesn’t seem to care in the least about sharing his affection with Morrigan. He’d even tried to hold her hand in a market the other day like it was the most natural thing in the world for him to declare that he loves the feral Witch of the Wilds. 

Morrigan struggles to wrap her head around it. 

“Do you want me to stop staring?” Benten asks and Morrigan realizes that she’s fallen silent as she contemplates this bizarre man’s feelings for her. Even this question is asked earnestly and Morrigan knows if she asked him to look away, he’d turn his head and say no more about it. 

But now that she knows the source of that feeling of being watched, it’s no longer something that makes her want to fight. It’s a pleasant tickle just beneath her skin rather than a raging itch she needs to scratch at. It feels…

It feels nice to be admired. 

“No,” she says in reply to Benten’s question. “You may stare as you wish.” 

Benten grins at her. “Great, I’ll do that, then.” And then he resumes watching her with those big, fond eyes. 

Morrigan finds herself smiling as she continues adding food to the pot, which isn’t something she expected. It isn’t often that she catches herself smiling without purpose and yet here she is, smiling like a fool over the feeling of being watched. What has the world come to? 

And it’s all because of the dwarf at her side, the man smiling at her like she’s done something special by simply allowing him to gaze upon her. It’s he who makes her smile and blush and feel more at ease than she has in perhaps her entire life. 

He’s a good man. Morrigan is not a good woman. 

“You deserve better than who I am right now,” she says before she can stop herself. “But I'm going to keep trying to become someone you do deserve.”

There's so much guilt that weighs on her shoulders. She's going to betray him someday soon and then she'll never see him again, can never see him again. She's going to raise his child alone and he may hate her forever for it. 

The least she can do is try to be a person worthy of the love he's freely given her up to this point. If she's going to break his heart, at least she can try to protect it while she has it. 

Benten blinks at her for a moment before reaching across the space between them to take her hand. “I don't want anything but you,” he says and he squeezes her hand in a motion of reassurance. 

The worst part is that she believes him. 

[twoidiotwriters1]

The Curse of Oenone (Leo Valdez xFem!Oc)

A/N: This is another chapter I was looking forward to post! -Danny Words: 2,549 Series' Masterlist Previous Chapter // Next Chapter Listen to: 'Eight' -by Sleeping At Last

XXXI: I Would Fight Myself if I Could

Percy is on the steps to Cabin Ten waiting for me. Lily and Nico share a look and mumble something about the Big House before turning away. My brother stares at me, and a small smile shows up on his face.

"Purple's definitely your color."

I grin. "You really know how to cheer an Aphrodite up." I pause and reform my sentence. "Former Aphrodite."

He doesn't get up from the steps. "You know when we went to the sea of monsters? When Hermes gave me those gifts?"

"Yeah?"

"I tried to give 'em back at first because he wanted me to help Luke. I told him Luke was a lost cause, he hated the Olympians."

"Did he get angry?"

"He told me no one can quit their family, no matter if you hate each other."

"Bet you didn't believe that."

"He said I would someday. I thought he was trying to sound wise... but he was right."

Percy's looking so defeated even though he just won the war, that I feel like a terrible person. I'm the reason why my brother can't enjoy his victory.

"Do you hate me, brother?" I ask quietly.

He gets up. "I'm trying to say I'll always care for you even if you hate me."

"I don't hate you," I frown. "I've said mean things, but I don't hold them against you, I know you're scared. I'm scared for you too, that's why I did this."

He nods slowly, deep in thought. "I was willing to die for all of you, I can't lie and say I don't understand where you're coming from..."

"We're good," I state. "You know, sometimes I feel like we've been siblings our whole lives, maybe our souls are old friends," I walk past him. "But we're on different paths. Don't make me quit my free will and my family on the same day."

His face gets really serious. "Never. I'm here for you, Birdy."

I smile. "Would you help me, then? I can't stay in Cabin Ten now that I'm the Strategus."

He pauses. "But isn't it against the rules..."

I stare at him with a deadpan expression. "We're siblings, Percy."

"Right," he makes a face. "I need a nap."

After Frank explains that he's been hearing the Roman and Greek versions of his dad shouting inside his head, it makes sense that he was interested to hear more about the voices in her head.

"Maybe we can fix your problem and save Hazel while doing so," Ara's mind races through several ideas. "If you offer a deal to your mentally unstable father, maybe he'll get us a python for Trip's chariot. Ask them if they'd like that."

Frank looks at her begrudgingly, but he closes his eyes anyway. He grumbles and groans for a few seconds, then fixes his posture, still not opening his eyes. "Horatius... Fine. If that's what it takes, I'll prove I'm as good as Horatius. Uh... what did he do?" 

After a second, Frank's eyes open and he looks at her. 

"I hope you're in the mood for a Phorcy's 2.0"

Ara grins. "Always am."

"Get on one knee so I can crown you the Canadian lone ranger."

Ara ties a large shirt over Frank's nose and mouth to protect him from the cow-dogs's poison. She won't even try to call those monsters by their name, she knows she'll get it wrong.

"All set," Ara covers her nose and mouth as well. "Ready?"

"You look weirdly happy," Frank points out while pulling up tiles and searching for roots.

"That's because I'm absurd. It took Jason, Piper, and Leo a week to figure it out," Ara cuts pieces of the roots and stuffs her pockets with them. She's wearing safety gloves to protect her skin. "Sorry you have to put up with me."

"Percy's a lot like you, Greeks are generally crazier," he comments while Ara ties pieces of roots to the belt loops of his pants. "I'll survive."

"That's the first time someone says Percy's like me and not the other way around," she says bemusedly.

Frank chuckles, then shrugs. "So why are you happy?"

"Because we have a plan. I like it when solutions are found quickly, and even more when it's something I can do without help. Well, partially—I sort of need you."

"Thank you," he replies without much excitement. "Now let's hunt some smelly cows."

The monsters might look heavy, but these creatures can run. Ara turns Almighty into a spear and Frank turns into a lion, she climbs his back and holds onto his mane, stabbing the cow-dogs that dare to inch closer.

They run through narrow streets, taunting the creatures with the nasty smell of their roots. Her spear isn't killing them fast enough so she switches to something different: a BB gun. Ara has better aim with a gun than she ever had with a bow, but Michael never let her use guns in camp because he considered that too risky.

She wonders what he'd think, watching her ride a lion through Venice while shooting at an army of cow-dogs. He'd be torn between awe and horror no doubt. Ara thinks about what her younger self would think, and that image comes effortlessly: Little Ara would be whooping and screaming at her to aim between the eyes.

Frank stops near a canal and turns into a human. Ara jumps off his back and keeps shooting. "You want our poison roots?" He screams, slashing through the herd with Hazel's sword. "Come and get them!"

He grabs Ara by the waist and jumps to the canal, turning into a dolphin. The girl holds onto him, but even though she'd been expecting this part, the smelly water is warm and repulsive, and she squirms in disgust.

"This sucks!" She shoots at the monsters angrily. "Nico's in debt for life!"

It feels like an eternity of running and killing, Ara keeps changing Almighty into different weapons to test out its efficiency, and she keeps glowing different colors as well: White, silver, green, and teal (she grew tired after that one, pulled half a dozen cow-dogs to the canal). 

"There!" Frank points at an old wooden bridge.

"Looks weak!" Ara nods approvingly. "Let's go!"

Frank turns into an eagle to make sure all the monsters are still following them, and Ara focuses on shooting, slashing, stabbing, and exploding the monsters with the bombs she had in her Octopi. Frank joins her in human form, pulling her to the middle of the bridge.

He grabs the roots from her pockets and tosses them behind them along with his roots, then he draws out Hazel's spatha. "Come on! You want to know what Frank Zhang is worth? Come on!"

Ara's never used all of her blessings in a row, and it takes a lot from her. Her anger is keeping her standing, she's tired of having to guess whether they'll be wounded or helped—most of all, she's tired of pitying herself. 

Ara likes a good fight, and she enjoys killing monsters, but lately, all she thinks is that she's sending threats to Percy and Annabeth, thinning their chances of survival and getting in their way like she's always done. 

Her actions have consequences, in this world and the next, and the ones around her. All she can do is minimize the damage by not going apeshit. She focuses on achieving their goal even if it costs her a limb, she can't go back to the ship with Nico as a plant and no Hazel, so she'll do whatever Frank tells her to, twist herself into knots if she has to.

The girl calculates all of her moves and keeps an eye on Frank, who attacks the monsters in all the forms he can imagine, animal and human. He's a little frantic too, their strength and patience are running out. 

Eventually, a red light envelops them. There are no monsters left except for one, and Ara yanks Frank backward before he slays it. "You said we needed one!"

"Mars!" Frank yells, eyes wild and angry. "I've proven myself. Now I need a snake!"

The cow-dog jumps at them, and Frank moves Ara out of the way to cut it in half. The monster vanishes in a flash, and in its place, a python lands at their feet.

"Well done," says a voice.

Ara drops her sword. This is Mars, not Ares, she knows the difference because this version looks less stupid. She kneels before him, grateful. Percy would not approve of this, but the girl doesn't care. Ares has always kept her alive, like Clarisse did when they were little.

"On your feet, Strategus," he commands her. "A good leader knows when to hand over the reigns, and when to take control. You've earned my blessing."

Ara feels a lump in her throat but says nothing, she steps back so Frank can talk to his dad. "Father," the boy speaks hoarsely.

"It's natural to feel fear." Ara only heard him speak this warmly when Clarisse killed the drakon. "All great warriors are afraid. Only the stupid and the delusional are not. But you faced your fear, my son. You did what you had to do, like Horatius. This was your bridge, and you defended it."

"I—" Frank gulps. "I... I just needed a snake."

The god smirks. "Yes. And now you have one. Your bravery has united my forms, Greek and Roman, if only for a moment. Go. Save your friends. But hear me, Frank. Your greatest test is yet to come. When you face the armies of Gaea at Epirus, your leadership—" the god bends over, his form glitching from the Roman to the Greek. "Agony!" He moans. "Go! Hurry!"

"Get on my back," Frank tells her. 

Ara does and then he turns into an eagle, grabs the python with his claws, and flies away. 

"You found one!" Triptolemus says delightedly.

"Heal them," Frank drags the python into the room and then moves over to Hazel. "Now."

"How do I know the snake will work?"

Ara yanks the python closer to the chariot, tilts it sideways, and wraps the creature around the broken wheel. The chariot comes to life and starts circling the room.

"Fixed." Ara crosses her arms. "That'll be two healthy children of the Underworld, please."

Triptolemus tilts his head, toying with their worry. "Well, thank you for the snake, but I'm not sure I like your attitudes, demigods. Perhaps I'll turn you into—"

Frank jumps to his feet and pushes the god against a wall. It's only then that Ara notices his physical change. She glances down, her body looks different too.

"Think about your next words," Frank growls. "Or instead of beating my sword into a plowshare, I will beat it into your head."

"You know..." The god's eyes dart between him and Ara, who's glaring at him too. "I think I'll heal your friends." 

"Swear it on the River Styx," Frank presses.

"I swear it on the River Styx."

The boy steps back and Triptolemus stumbles away from him. "Just—just gathering herbs!"

Frank stands next to Ara, taller than before. Before they left Trip's house, Nico the potted plant was the same height as her, now it barely reaches her chin. Both demigods look at each other and Ara whistles.

"You look scary."

"You're small... but a different small," Frank frowns. "Like a bodybuilder that's just getting started. There's a child of Venus in New Rome—"

Hazel coughs and sits up. Triptolemus is next to her, his fingers full of crumbs and greenish matter.  "What—?"

Frank approaches and wraps his arms around her, he could suffocate the fourteen-year-old without even trying. "You're going to be fine. Everything is fine."

"But..." Hazel moves away and eyes him. "Frank, what happened to you?"

"To me?" He looks at himself. "I don't... Uh... I don't... Maybe I can fix it."

Hazel laughs. "Why? You look amazing!"

"I—I do?"

"I mean, you were handsome before! But you look older, and taller, and so distinguished—"

"Mars's blessing," Ara explains. "We both got it, I think."

"You think?" Triptolemus snorts. "Now, if we're done here..."

"We're not done," Frank points at the corn plant. "Heal Nico."

Nico turns back into a human and Ara steadies him before he falls on his face. "I—I had the weirdest nightmare about popcorn." He scowls at Ara, now as tall as him. "Why are we eye-to-eye?"

"You've been a corn plant for two years—"

"Knock it off, Birdy," Frank interrupts her. "Everything's fine. Triptolemus was about to tell us how to survive the House of Hades. Weren't you, Trip?"

"Fine," Trip makes a face. "When you arrive at Epirus, you will be offered a chalice to drink from."

"Offered by whom?" Nico questions.

"Doesn't matter. Just know that it is filled with deadly poison."

"So you're saying that we shouldn't drink it," Hazel says hesitantly.

"No! You must drink it, or you'll never be able to make it through the temple. The poison connects you to the world of the dead, lets you pass into the lower levels. The secret to surviving is... barley."

"Barley." Frank repeats.

"In the front room, take some of my special barley. Make it into little cakes. Eat these before you step into the House of Hades. The barley will absorb the worst of the poison, so it will affect you, but not kill you."

"That's it?" Nico frowns. "Hecate sent us halfway across Italy so you could tell us to eat barley?"

"Good luck!" Triptolemus gets on his chariot. "And, Frank Zhang, I forgive you for threatening me! You've got spunk. And you're brighter than you look, daughter of Olympus! I'd love to see you two get a degree in farming!"

"Not a chance, Trip!" Ara waves him off.

"Yeah," Frank makes a face. "Thanks."

"He's right, you know," Nico tells her. "You don't look smart. Ouch! You're stronger?!" He asks in outrage.

"Be quiet or I'll send you to camp in pieces," Ara warns him.

"Oh, to be mobile again!" Triptolemus exclaims as the garage doors open. "So many ignorant lands in need of my knowledge. I will teach them the glories of tilling, irrigation, fertilizing! Away, my serpents! Away!"

"I kind of regret fixing his ride," Ara mumbles. "We've released a nuance into the world."

"Can't be any worse than what's already out there," Frank sighs.

"That," Hazel says, "was very strange."

"The glories of fertilizing." Nico moves away from Ara and brushes off the corn hairs of his jacket. "Can we get out of here now?"

"Are you two okay, really?" Hazel places a hand on Frank's shoulder. "You bartered for our lives. What did Triptolemus make you do?"

Frank looks at his feet and takes a shaky breath. "Those cow monsters... the katoblepones that poisoned you... we had to destroy them."

"That was brave," Nico points out. "There must have been, what, six or seven left in that herd."

"No." Frank corrects him. "All of them. We killed all of them in the city."

Ara holds Frank's hand to absorb some of his torment. "I told Triptolemus I could fix his chariot, and Frank just did his best to help me."

"You put your life on the line just so we could heal Hazel," Frank squeezes her hand once and then lets go. "We helped each other. I know it's your job, but..."

"My job is to keep you from danger, not to put you in its way," Ara makes a face. "It won't happen again, I apologize."

"Look at that," Nico raises a brow. "That's the second time I hear a sincere apology from you. Maybe those blessings make you grow in more ways than one." 

She thinks about what Hercules said, her ambition feeding on her youth. "How fun..."

"Well," Nico moves toward the exit. "Does anyone know what barley looks like?"

Next Chapter –>

Taglist.

@siriuslysirius1107 @ask-giggles1303 @asnyox-the-hoarder @im-planning-something-look @bandshirts-andbooks @coolninjapaper @thewaterlily @whenisthefall @1randomcomic @you-bloody-shank @sunflowergraves @owlalex44 @taylordaughter @typicalsolangelolover @writingmia @espressopatronum454 @slytherinnqueen @orbitingpolaris @obxstiles @ellipsisspelled @thepixiechicksh

[jennifermoriarta]

Me and a super hot girl flirted with each other a couple of weeks ago, spent a whole day just constantly DMing each other 'n stuff. I wish she'd given me another social to contact her with, bc I really would've liked to have been proper girlfriends with each other, you know? Figure out more stuff about each other, about what we wanted from each other, maybe even But she's been a ghost since then.

Honestly? I'm still holding out hope that she'll come back someday, and we'll still be able to do that. I could see myself having a future with her, if we were both willing to be patient.

But, until such a time, I'm just trying to find cute wlws online to flirt with. I wanna feel sexually and romantically satisfied. I wanna flirt and be flirted with! I wanna meet someone and be giggling with happiness and blushing with want!

Also. I don't know why it took me until literally just today to figure this out, but I can get my posts seen by other WLWs if. i just. y'know. Tag it as "WLW" and related tags.

[taylorswiftandx]

Taylor Swift and Will

Note: huge thank you to @meandmypagancrew for collaborating with me on the lyrics for this post!

'Taylor Swift'

Tim McGraw: And there's a letter left on your doorstep and the first thing that you'll read

Picture To Burn: My daddy's gonna show you how sorry you'll be

Teardrops On My Guitar: I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about

Teardrops On My Guitar: I'll put his picture down and maybe get some sleep tonight

A Place In This World: I'll be strong, I'll be wrong, oh, but life goes on

Cold As You: Just walk away, no use defending words that you will never say

Tied Together With A Smile: Hoping it will end up in his pocket but he leaves you out like a penny in the rain

Stay Beautiful: They watch him as he's walking home saying, "Does he know?" Will you ever know?

Stay Beautiful: If what you are is a daydream I'll never get to hold, at least you'll know

Stay Beautiful: Will you stay beautiful, beautiful, beautiful?

Mary's Song (Oh My My My): We'll rock our babies on that very front porch

Mary's Song (Oh My My My): I'll be eighty-seven, you'll be eighty-nine, I'll still look at you like the stars that shine in the sky

Invisible: She'll never notice how you stop and stare whenever she walks by

'Fearless (Taylor's Version)'

Fifteen: Hoping one of those senior boys will wink at you and say, "You know I haven't seen you around before"

Fifteen: We'll be out of here as soon as we can

Fifteen: But in your life you'll do things greater than dating the boy on the football team

Love Story: I'll be waiting, all that's left to do is run

Love Story: You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess

Love Story: Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess

Love Story: Marry me, Juliet, you'll never have to be alone

Hey Stephen: Of all the girls tossing rocks at your window, I'll be the one waiting there even when it's cold

White Horse: I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet, lead her up the stairwell

You Belong With Me: And she'll never know your story like I do

Breathe: 'Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down

You're Not Sorry: And you're thinking we'll be fine again but not this time around

The Way I Loved You: And he calls exactly when he says he will

Change: And I'll do anything to see it through

Change: Because these things will change, can you feel it now?

Change: These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down

Change: This revolution, the time will come for us to finally win

Change: And we'll sing hallelujah, we'll sing hallelujah

Change: Tonight we'll stand, get off our knees

Change: But we'll stand up champions tonight

Jump Then Fall: And every time you shine, I'll shine for you

Jump Then Fall: The bottom's gonna drop out from under our feet, I'll catch you, I'll catch you

Jump Then Fall: When people say things that bring you to your knees, I'll catch you

Jump Then Fall: But I'll hold you through the night until you smile

Jump Then Fall: And every time you shine, I'll shine

Jump Then Fall: And every time you're here, baby, I'll show you, I'll show you

Untouchable: You gotta come on, come on, say that we'll be together

Come In With The Rain: I'll leave my window open 'cause I'm too tired at night to call your name

Come In With The Rain: Just know I'm right here hoping that you'll come in with the rain

Come In With The Rain: But I'll leave my window open 'cause I'm too tired at night for all these games

SuperStar: When my world wakes up today, you'll be in another town

SuperStar: And you'll never see you sing me to sleep every night from the radio

The Other Side Of The Door: And I'll scream out the window, I can't even look at you

The Other Side Of The Door: I'll say, "There's nothing you can say to make this right again"

Mr. Perfectly Fine: Mr. every single day until the end I will be by your side

Mr. Perfectly Fine: And someday maybe you'll miss me but by then you'll be Mr. too late

That's When: And that's when, I'll be waiting at the front gate

That's When: I'll let you in and, baby, that's when

Don't You: I heard she's nothing like me, I'm sure she'll make you happy

Don't You: So I'll walk out of here tonight, tried to go on with my life

Bye Bye Baby: This is the last time I'll drive this way again

'Speak Now'

Mine: You say we'll never make our parents' mistakes

Mine: You said, "I'll never leave you alone"

Sparks Fly: Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around

Sparks Fly: I'll run my fingers through your hair and watch the lights go wild

Dear John: And you'll add my name to your long list of traitors who don't understand

Dear John: And I'll look back in regret how I ignored when they said, "Run as fast as you can"

Mean: Someday I'll be living in a bit old city and all you're ever gonna be is mean

Mean: Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me and all you're ever gonna be is mean

Mean: Trying to block you out 'cause I'll never impress you

The Story Of Us: I'm starting to think one day I'll tell the story of us

Never Grow Up: And no one will desert you, just try to never grow up

Enchanted: I'll spend forever wondering if you knew

Enchanted: My thoughts will echo your name until I see you again

Innocent: Time turns flames to embers, you'll have new Septembers

Haunted: He will try to take away my pain and he just might make me smile

Last Kiss: I'll go sit on the floor wearing your clothes

Last Kiss: So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep

Long Live: One day, we will be remembered

Long Live: Will you take a moment, promise me this, that you'll stand by me forever

Ours: They'll judge it like they know about me and you

Ours: And you'll say, "Don't you worry your pretty little mind"

Ours: I'll fight their doubt and give you faith with this song for you

Ours: And any snide remarks from my father about your tattoos will be ignored 'cause my heart is yours

Superman: And you smile and say, "How are you?" I'll say, "Just fine"

Superman: I always forget to tell you, I love you, I'll love you forever

Superman: Go save the world, I'll be around

Superman: Come back, I'll be with you someday, I'll be right here on the ground

Superman: But I hope someday you'll take me away and save the day

Superman: And you'll leave, got places to be, and I'll be okay

Superman: Don't forget, don't forget where I'll be

Superman: I watch superman fly away, I swear I'll be with you someday

Electric Touch: Just breath, just relax, it'll be okay

When Emma Falls In Love: When Emma falls in love, I know that boy will never be the same

When Emma Falls In Love: She'll call you out, she'll put you in your place

When Emma Falls In Love: Now he'll be her shelter when it rains

I Can See You: Hide away and I will start behaving myself

Castles Crumbling: You don’t want to know me, I will just let you down

Foolish One: Chances are I will talk myself to sleep again

Foolish One: I will block out these voices of reason in my head

Foolish One: The voices say, “You are not the exception, you will never learn your lesson”

Foolish One: You will take the long way, you will take the long way down

Foolish One: It’s delicate, but I will do my best to seem bulletproof

Foolish One: When my head is on your shoulder, it starts thinking you'll come around

Foolish One: And maybe someday when we’re older, this is something we'll laugh about

Foolish One: You will learn the hard way instead of just walking out

Foolish One: I'll get your longing glances, but she’ll get your ring

Foolish One: You will say say you had the best of intentions and maybe I will finally learn my lesson

Foolish One: Ooh, you will learn the hard way now

Timeless: We'll have a cardboard box of photos of the life we’ve made and you'll say, “Oh my, we really were timeless”

'Red (Taylor's Version)'

State of Grace: And I'll never be the same

Treacherous: I'll go anything you say if you say it with your hands

Treacherous: Two headlights shine through the sleepless night and I will get you, I'll get you alone

Treacherous: I'll follow you, follow you home

I Knew You Were Trouble: No apologies, he'll never see you cry

I Knew You Were Trouble: A new notch in your belt is all I'll ever be

22: Everything will be all right if you keep me next to you

22: You don’t know about me, but I'll bet you want to

22: Everything will be all right if we just keep dancing like we're 22

Stay Stay Stay: I'll be loving you for quite some time

Sad Beautiful Tragic: Good girls, hopeful they'll be and long they will wait

The Lucky One: They'll tell you now, you’re the lucky one

The Lucky One: Another name goes up in lights, you wonder if you'll make it out alive.

Everything Has Changed: You'll be mine and I'll be yours

Everything Has Changed: All my walls stood tall, painted blue, but I'll take them down, take them down and open up the door for you

Everything Has Changed:  All my days, I'll know your face

Starlight: You'll spend your whole life singing the blues if you keep thinking that way

Ronan: Out of this curtained room in this hospital grey, we'll just disappear

Better Man: You’re talking down to me like I'll always be around

Nothing New: Lord, what will become of me once I've lost my novelty?

Nothing New: And will you still want me when I'm nothing new?

Nothing New: How long will it be cute, all this crying in my room?

Nothing New: She'll know the way and then she'll say she got the map from me

Nothing New: I'll say I’m happy for her, then I'll cry myself to sleep

Nothing New: I wonder if they'll miss me once they drive me out

Nothing New: And will you still want me, will you still want me, will you still want me when I'm nothing new?

Babe: This is the last time I'll ever call you, babe

Message In A Bottle: Where were you while I’m wondering if I'll ever see you again?

I Bet You Think About Me: I'll bet your friends tell you she’s better than me

I Bet You Think About Me: I don’t have to be your shrink to know that you'll never be happy

Forever Winter: I'll be summer sun for you forever

Forever Winter: Live my life scared to death he'll decide to leave instead

Forever Winter: I'll be your summer sun forever

Run: Give me the keys, I'll bring the car around

Run: There’s a chain ‘round your throat, piece of paper where I wrote, “I'll wait for you”

Run: Ooh, we'll run

Run: I'll sing like no one cares

Run: There’s a heart on your sleeve, I'll take it when I leave

Run: Say you'll never let ‘em tear us apart and I'll hold onto you while we run

All Too Well (10 Minute Version): I was never good at telling jokes but the punchline goes, “I'll get older but your lovers stay my age”

'1989 (Taylor's Version)'

Blank Space: Got a long list of ex-lovers, they'll tell you I’m insane

Blank Space: We'll take this way too far

Blank Space: It'll leave you breathless or with a nasty scar

Blank Space: I’ve got a blank space, baby, and I'll write your name

Blank Space: But you'll come back each time you leave

I Wish You Would: I wish you knew that I'll never forget you as long as I live

Bad Blood: Now did you think it all through? All these things will catch up to you

Wildest Dreams: Say you'll remember me standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset, babe

Wildest Dreams: Say you'll see me again even if it’s just in your wildest dreams

Wildest Dreams: Say you'll see me again even if it’s just pretend

How You Get The Girl: She'll open up the door and say, “Are you insane?”

How You Get The Girl: Broke your heart, I'll put it back together

This Love: And I could go on and on, on and on, and I will

I Know Places: And they'll be chasing their tails trying to track us down

I Know Places: Lights flash and we'll run for the fences

“Slut!”: Love to think you'll never forget

“Slut!”: I'll pay the price, you won’t

“Slut!”: We'll pay the price, I guess

Now That We Don’t Talk: I guess I'll never ever know, now that we don’t talk

Is It Over Now?: If she’s got blue eyes, I will surmise that you'll probably date her

Sweeter Than Fiction: There you'll stand, ten feet tall

Sweeter Than Fiction: There you'll stand, next to me

Sweeter Than Fiction: I'll be one of the many saying, “Look at you now, look at you now, now”

Sweeter Than Fiction: I'll be one of the many saying, “You made us proud, you made us proud, proud”

Sweeter Than Fiction: You know that I'll be there time and again

'reputation'

…Ready For It?: Touch me, and you'll never be alone

…Ready For It?: And we'll move to an island

End Game: With four words on the tip of my tongue, I'll never say it

Don’t Blame Me: I'll be using for the rest of my life

Look What You Made Me Do: Maybe I got mine, but you'll all get yours

Look What You Made Me Do: I'll be the actress starring in your bad dreams

Gorgeous: Guess I'll just stumble on home to my cats

King Of My Heart: And all at once, you are all I want, I'll never let you go

New Year’s Day: But I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year’s Day

New Year’s Day: I'll be there if you’re the toast of the town, babe

New Year's Day: Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you

New Year's Day: And I will hold on to you

'Lover'

Cruel Summer: We say that we'll just screw it up in these trying times

Cruel Summer: And if I bleed, you'll be the last to know

Lover: Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand?

Lover: And you'll save all your dirtiest jokes for me and at every table, I'll save you a seat, lover

I Think He Knows: I think he knows when we get all alone I'll make myself at home and he'll want me to stay

I Think He Knows: We could follow the sparks, I'll drive

Miss Americana And The Heartbreak Prince: Boys will be boys, then where are the wise men?

Miss Americana And The Heartbreak Prince: And I'll never let you go ‘cause I know this is a fight that someday we’re gonna win

Death By A Thousand Cuts: I ask the traffic lights if it'll be all right

Death By A Thousand Cuts: But I'll be all right, it’s just a thousand cuts

Soon You’ll Get Better: Ooh, soon you'll get better

Soon You’ll Get Better: Ooh, you'll get better soon

Soon You’ll Get Better: I'll paint the kitchen neon, I'll brighten up the sky

Soon You'll Get Better: I know I'll never get it, there's not a day that I won't try

Afterglow: Tell me that we'll be just fine even when I lose my mind

ME!: I promise that you'll never find another like me

ME!: I know you never get just what you see but I will never bore you, baby

Daylight: I'll tell you the truth, but never goodbye

Daylight: Things will never be the same

'folklore'

My Tears Ricochet: If I’m on fire, you'll be made of ashes, too

My Tears Ricochet: We gather stones, never knowing what they'll mean

My Tears Ricochet: And so the battleships will sink beneath the waves

Mirrorball: I'll show you every version of yourself tonight

Mirrorball: I'll get you out on the floor

Mirrorball: You'll find me on my tallest tip-toes

Seven: We'll move to India forever

Seven: And just like a folk song, our love will be passed on

August: Will you call when you're back at school?

Illicit Affairs: Tell your friends you’re out for a run, you'll be flushed when you return

Mad Woman: They strike to kill and you know I will, you know I will

Mad Woman: And you'll poke that bear ‘til her claws come out

Betty: Yeah, I showed up at your party, will you have me, will you love me?

Betty: Will you kiss me on the porch in front of all your stupid friends?

Betty: If you kiss me, will it be just like I dreamed it, will it patch your broken wings?

Peace: But I’m a fire and I'll keep your brittle heart warm

'evermore'

Willow: Wait for the signal, and I'll meet you after dark

Champagne Problems: How evergreen, our group of friends don’t think we'll say that word again

Champagne Problems: Soon they'll have the nerve to deck the halls that we once walked through

Champagne Problems: But you'll find the real thing instead, she'll patch up your tapestry that I shred

Gold Rush: And the coastal town we never found will never see a love as pure as it

Gold Rush: 'Cause it fades into the gray of my day-old tea 'cause it will never be

‘Tis the Damn Season: So I'll go back to L.A. and the so-called friends who'll write books about me if I ever make it

‘Tis the Damn Season: And I'll be yours for the weekend

Happiness: There'll be happiness after you, but there was happiness because of you

Happiness: I hope she'll be a beautiful fool who takes my spot next to you

Happiness: There'll be happiness after me but there was happiness because of me

Happiness: You haven’t met the new me yet, and I think she'll give you that

Dorothea: You know, you'll always know me, Dorothea

Dorothea: Ooh, I guess I'll never know

Dorothea: Ooh, and you'll go on with the show

Coney Island: Will you forgive my soul when you're too wise to trust me and too old to care?

Ivy: So tell me to run or dare to sit and watch what we'll become

Cowboy Like Me: We could be the way forward and I know I'll pay for it

Long Story Short: Your nemeses will defeat themselves before you get the chance to swing

Evermore: Can't not think of all the cost and the things that will be lost

Evermore: To be certain, we'll be tall again

It's Time To Go: When keeping it how it is will only break their hearts worse

It's Time To Go: Sometimes walking out is the one thing that will find you the right thing

'Midnights'

Anti-Hero: One day, I'll watch as you’re leaving 'cause you got tired of my scheming

Anti-Hero: I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror

Anti-Hero: One day, I'll watch as you're leaving and life will lose all its meaning

You’re On Your Own, Kid: I play my songs in the parking lot, I'll run away

Vigilante Shit: Sometimes I wonder which one will be your last lie

Labyrinth: I'll be getting over you my whole life

Karma: ‘Cause if you dare, you'll see the glare of everyone you burned just to get there

The Great War: And we will never go back to that bloodshed, crimson clover

The Great War: I will always be yours 'cause we survived the great war

The Great War: I vowed I will always be yours

Bigger Than The Whole Sky: So I'll say words I don’t believe

Glitch: You don’t live in my part of town but maybe I'll see you out some weekend

Karma (feat. Ice Spice): Thinking it'll save ya, now you switching up ya behavior

Karma (feat. Ice Spice): Promise that you'll never endeavor with none lesser, ever, ever

Other Songs written by Taylor

Beautiful Eyes: In only a little while, I'll cry

Beautiful Eyes: Just as long as you’re mine, I'll be your everything tonight

Beautiful Ghosts: Visions of dazzling rooms I'll never get let into

Beautiful Ghosts: I'll never wander London streets, alone and haunted

Beautiful Ghosts: So I'll dance with these beautiful ghosts

Best Days Of Your Life: ‘Cause I'll be there in the back of your mind

Both Of Us: Someday I will be strong enough to lift not one but both of us

Carolina: Lonesome I’ll always stay

Carolina: And there are places I will never ever go and things that only Carolina will ever know

Carolina: But the sleep comes fast and I'll meet no ghosts

Christmases When You Were Mine: That'll have to be something I just say this year

Christmases When You Were Mine: I'll bet you got your mom another sweater

I Don’t Wanna Live Forever: Been sitting eyes wide open behind these four walls, hoping you'll call

I Don’t Wanna Live Forever: I don’t wanna live forever ‘cause I know I'll be living in vain

I Heart ?: And I'll bet you thought you beat me

I Heart ?: I'll be fine if you just walk by

I Heart ?: And when you’re home all alone at night, you'll still wonder why

I Heart ?: And I know someday you will wake up and smell the breakup, realize that we won't make up

I Heart ?: And you'll know you didn’t beat me when you look down and see I got an I heart question mark written on the back of my hand

Safe and Sound: I remember tears streaming down your face when I said, “I'll never let you go”

Safe and Sound: The sun is going down, you'll be all right

Safe and Sound: Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound

Safe and Sound: Just close your eyes, you'll be alright 

The Alcott: How many times will I do this and you'll still believe?

The Alcott: I'll ruin it all over, I'll ruin it for you

The Alcott: I'll ruin it all over and over, like I always do

You’ll Always Find Your Way Back Home: You can say goodbye and you can say hello but you'll always find your way back home

Official Alternate Releases

Picture to Burn (2006 Version): That’s fine, I'll tell mine you’re gay

Lover (feat. Shawn Mendes): I'll sing love songs to you when we’re eighty

Lover (feat. Shawn Mendes): Look in my eyes, they will tell you the truth

Anti-Hero (feat. Bleachers): Taylor, you'll be fine

[pyropsychiccollector]

Natsu Harem: Fairy GET! 6/14

We're edging closer to halfway there... Let's go with another imouto, eh? (๑╹ω╹๑ )

Iiiiiit's Kagura Mikazuchi~! \(๑╹ω╹๑ )/

When did they meet?

I suppose this one will be... interesting. I haven't talked too much about this series diverging from canon at earlier points. But one big thing is...

Yeah, our boy Simon doesn't die in this series. (๑╹ω╹๑ ) Yeah, I get his death was a major sacrifice.... But it seems like whenever he comes up later, it's always just as drama for Jerza. Erza's repeated insistence for everyone to forgive Jellal, Kagura and Millianna's hatred towards Jellal that forcefully gets snuffed out, Ultear taking the rap even though Jellal did have autonomy.... It's dumb, and we're just not gonna brush Simon aside like that. If you're familiar with me at all, I like sparing characters from canon deaths. (๑╹ω╹๑ )

The gist is that Natsu went a little crazier in the fight, eating a chunk of the tower to gain power for Dragon Force. A situation never came up where Erza tried shielding Natsu from Altaris, and thus Simon taking the blow in her stead. Natsu just gave Blueberry a beatdown from hell, and Simon got Erza and Natsu out of the collapsing tower via teleportation.

The result? Erza's old chums decide to join Fairy Tail after all. (๑╹ω╹๑ ) There's no guilt holding them back, and Simon's all for following after Erza. And it's not like Wally, Sho, and Millianna want to go anywhere else. Simon formally joins Team Natsu, while the others get to know their other guildmates; Sho meeting Cana, Wally meeting Bisca and Alzack, and Millianna... Well, she's a little busy with Happy. (๑╹ω╹๑ )

Naturally, this shakes up the subsequent arcs. Most notably in Oracion Seis. Simon recognizes the Oracion Seis as former slaves of the Tower of Heaven, and though that doesn't make the battles easier it certainly makes them easier to sympathize with for the Alliance members after defeating them. Richard is still affected by Nirvana, and he's glad that Wally is with Fairy Tail and doing well; he hopes to reunite with his brother again someday.

We took quite a detour, but I needed to explain all that to explain Kagura's new circumstances. (๑╹ω╹๑ ) Because of course, reuniting with Simon is Kagura's greatest ambition. With him alive, there's no vengeance driving her; just a huge burning desire to see Simon again. And naturally, Simon himself has made efforts with Fairy Tail's help to track Kagura down... They just barely miss each other.

Simon pairs up with Natsu during the trials, despite the pyro's initial plans of having Happy for a partner. Simon makes this earnest plea with the Dragon Slayer because he can tell Natsu is important to Erza, and he wants to help Natsu reach his full potential as S-Class. And Natsu equally knows Simon has a desire to prove himself as well, and digs it. Happy still comes along to cheer his pal on, but he has to wait with Makarov instead of interfering with the trials.

Because of this... Simon experiences the 7-year timeskip with everyone. And due to that, when Kagura hears that her brother joined Fairy Tail, she goes to look only to find that he's disappeared, and they're waiting on the Tenrou team's return. Young Kagura is impatient, and runs off to do her own thing during those seven years; train to get stronger, and join a guild that's more... ambitious. Because the members of Fairy Tail left behind are just scraping by, and she can't stand their skepticism about her brother's fate. She'll find Simon on her own. Millianna winds up following her, feeling bad for Simon's sister and she misses Simon and Erza, too.

... Flash forward 7 years, and the Tenrou Team returns. Fairy Tail compete in the Grand Magic Games, and this is where Natsu, Erza, and everyone else meet Kagura for the first time. Under pretty different circumstances. Kagura's not seeking revenge on Jellal; she only wants to find her brother, and she's over the moon when it's announced Natsu, Erza, and various other missing members of Fairy Tail have returned on the opening day of the games.

But even so... Kagura knows that she's a part of Mermaid Heel. She can't back out on them even once she reunites with Simon that night after the first day with the game of Hidden. Kagura wants to give the games her all, and makes a wager with Simon that if Fairy Tail wins, she and Millianna will come back; and if Mermaid Heel wins, then Simon will come join Mermaid Heel's ranks (despite being an all-girls guild). When Natsu hears about the wager, he's all fired up~...

Needless to say, Fairy Tail still wins the games. And Kagura honors her word to come join Fairy Tail; Millianna was already planning to come back regardless, not wanting to be apart from her friends... And really, Kagura comes to admire Erza, especially after finding out she was the girl that saved her from the child slavers back then.

Between contact with Erza and Simon, this brings Kagura into contact with Natsu~... And though she's not wowed by him at first with how brutish and ill-mannered he can be, Kagura can tell that he's important to Erza and Simon both. And she is rather curious because Erza seems to...well. Let's just say Natsu is very, very important to Erza. (๑╹ω╹๑ )

When did they get closer?

Bearing all this in mind... Kagura fits in rather well with Team Natsu. She finds a sisterhood in Erza, Wendy, and Juvia. There's adorable kitties (Happy and Carla). Lucy is pleasant...though like Gray, she has far too many...accidents. Perverted ones. (人◕ω◕) She as such reached the conclusion those two are a shameless couple, despite their denials~...

Natsu, though... She initially wrote him off as a brute, but she can't deny he's strong. And he has so much heart... It doesn't take long for the swordswoman to get used to Natsu worrying about everyone, to see his heart on his sleeve... And it's a beautiful heart, even if Natsu can be simple at times. She can appreciate his warrior's heart, and it's all too easy to reciprocate that friendship. To share in his determination to see things through.

... Not to mention, a fledgling friendship with Natsu results in lots of cuddles with Happy and petting the kitty on her lap. (人◕ω◕)

Before long the Eclipse Spirits abd Tartaros arcs go down... Of course she's worried about Simon through these harrowing times... But she doesn't want to lose her new family, either. She's proud that Erza and Natsu and just about everyone is so dependable... It's rough when Fairy Tail disbands after Tartaros, but she sticks by Simon, Erza, Wally, Millianna, and Sho. Kagura can see Erza's worried about Natsu after he lost Igneel, and Kagura herself sympathizes with the pyro, wishing they could meet again soon...

When did friendship turn to something more?

Alvarez comes calling a year later, and it doesn't take long for Team Natsu to mobilize and rescue Makarov. Kagura's overwhelmed by how strong the rival continent is, but she's determined to protect her new family~... She doesn't fare well against Dimaria, but Kagura is instrumental in taking down Neinhart.

And later, when she hears Natsu fell into a comatose state after trying to fight Zeref... Kagura rushes back to the guild to be there for him. He's incredibly important to Erza, but especially to Kagura herself after all the time they've spent together. She's there when Jacob invades the guild, and she couldn't be more proud when Natsu makes a full recovery and defeats the assassin. And she accompanies Natsu, Lucy, Happy, Mest, and Brandish to try and negotiate with the Magic King... She unfortunately fails to stop Mest from recklessly acting, and she takes that failure pretty hard.

Kagura's there when Natsu falls comatose again, and instead of Lucy keeping his body warm Kagura takes it upon herself - for Erza's sake just as much as her own, she resolves to do everything she can to keep Natsu alive... It's embarrassing to lay with him so intimately, but Kagura can't deny the pride bubbling in her chest at keeping the pyro warm for once~.... She's worried about him, but Kagura will not let him die.

After the war blows over, and Kagura lets herself stew over all the revelations of Natsu being an Etherious and Zeref's brother... And Kagura decides it changed nothing of their bond. Natsu chose to be human, so that's what he is. Natsu never asked to be "resurrected", and he certainly wasn't responsible for Zeref's actions. Natsu means so much to so many people, and he works so hard for everyone. He beat Zeref, and he worked with the other Dragon Slayers to defeat Acnologia. Though to be honest, even if he hadn't done all those things and more, Kagura would have accepted that she fell for the pyro a while ago.

... This doesn't stop Kagura from formally asking Erza's permission to date Natsu and...share him with Erza. Much to the redhead's embarrassment. (人◕ω◕)(人◕ω◕)(人◕ω◕) This does begin a new kind of war, however. Because naturally, they aren't the only ones with such burning, passionate feelings for Natsu~... The Strauss Sisters are at the forefront of the rival camps... But they are hardly the only ones to worry about~...

As for Natsu himself? Well. (人◕ω◕) Kagura's important to him, too. He knows Erza and Simon love her both dearly as well. He can't say no when Kagura formally asks to be in a relationship with him and Erza... Even if he doesn't fully grasp the meaning of her request at the time... mostly because Kagura is so formal and honorable, and he only starts to see the hole he's dug for himself when Lisanna, Mira, and others get fussy about just going along with it. (人◕ω◕)(人◕ω◕)(人◕ω◕)(人◕ω◕)(人◕ω◕) Natsu might be dense, but he is a quick learner. ... Sorta.

........ It's alright, I'm sure Kagura will keep things from getting out of hand. (人◕ω◕) Or perhaps she'll contribute to the beautiful chaos swarming the loveable pyro~... \(人◕ω◕)/

[obsidiancreates]

Random ATLA 2012 Crossover Snippet (I Will Never Write A Full Fic It's Too Big An Undertaking)

"Toph?" Raph shouts through the endless darkness of the tunnels. "Toph! Come on you brat, where are you?!"

As his worry mounts, so does his anger. He can't help it. The earth cracks under his feet as he stomps through the tunnels looking for his sister- yes, his sister, and whenever he meets his brothers in the future they'll just have to accept her as part of the family whether they want to or not.

Because they will meet her. He'll find her. She may only be 6 years old, she may be blind, she may be alone, but he knows she's a fighter.

"TOPH!"

He hopes she's not crying. He's not great with crying. She thinks he is, but it's easy to seem like you're good with someone who's crying. Just hug and hold. They both always calm down after a hug. Not from those stupid people Toph is still calling their parents, they give terrible hugs. Raph wouldn't know what a good hug even is without the dreams.

In his dream about when he meets his brothers someday, when he's older and taller and things will finally change, sometimes he's hugged. And those are good hugs. He tries to hug Toph the way his brothers hug him in the dreams, because those feel very safe and caring. He wants her to think of him like that.

"TOPH!"

And a rock hits him in the chin.

"Shhh!"

"Toph!" Raph stumbles his way through the cave, his only light a barely flickering lamp. "Where the heck are you, you little-"

"SHHHH!" Another stone hits him, this time in the nose. "You're scaring them!"

"Scaring wh... who..."

Raph freezes as a large, lumbering creature approaches. It comes further into the light, and he realizes it's a badgermole.

"Toph, get behind me," he whispers, slowly backing away.

"No. They're my friends, Raph." She reaches out to her side and rubs it's leg. "It's showing me how to bend."

"What?!"

"They're blind. Like me." She courches down. "But they feel the earth around the, and-and I think I can too. I'm learning from them!"

"If you say so... but it's cold down here. Come on, you're gonna get sick!"

"Am not! I'm not going back!"

"You can't live in a hole!"

"Can too!"

"You-! ... Fine! Fine, but we'll live in the hole together, then." Raph crosses his arms. "And I want you to teach me everything you learn from them, so that you can practice with me and not risk getting crushed."

"You... you're gonna let me stay?"

"For as long as you feel like you gotta." She'll probably decide they should go back. Eventually. Maybe.

"Thank you!" She throws herself at him for a hug. "And I'll teach you what they teach me! We can live here forever and you'll be able to know the tunnels even when your light goes out!"

"How'd you know I have-"

"It's the only warm thing down here, dumb-dumb."

[starter-library]

GOOD MORNING BEDLAM'S LULU LYRIC STARTERS

EDIT AS YOU SEE FIT

I Am Sad

“Dance it off and let them see only ever part of me”

“You're far too quick to let me in”

“I feel your fear it hurts my chest”

“I too am fighting loneliness”

“I'm sad to say that I am sad”

“I'm sad to say it, but I've done the best that I can. Just had to say,My best is sad”

“I've done it in forty four states”

“Steal your words and bite my tongue cus every story's now been sung”

Blue House

“When I woke the sun was new”

“Even ink that marked our height will be repainted out of sight”

“It all must go under the knife every dent from making life”

“The fall of Rome was bound to be. Not to endure eternally”

“Now it's time to leave what we know, chase the new and let love grow”

“It's more than bricks that make a home”

“She'll learn to love and all it's ache and how to mend after it breaks”

Hold Me

“Well I've been sitting around since a quarter to three”

“Ain't found a god for whom I'd fall to my knees, But I haven't had a half bad time”

“I won't win an award for what's inside of my brain, Just found out New Jersey was a U.S. state”

“I've got you on my arm as we walk in the rain, So I guess you'd say I'm in my prime”

“Baby tell me once more that you're mine”

“May be losing all my sanity to the hunger of humanity if you're losing it right next to me I swear I'll be just fine”

“My mouth will run itself right into first place so I guess that I'm doing ok”

“You love me still can't seem to change that a bit, wouldn't have it any other way”

“Once broke my nose just from falling down”

“My talking voice is as loud as my shout”

“I'm trying to keep it together as I'm falling apart”

“I find you to be a work of art, Need no one else to share my days”

“I am standing here just watching all the people going round. Seems no one else is doing better at figuring this out”

“We're all stumbling around and picking ourselves up but I went tripping into madness and falling into love”

Haint Blue

“I sing your praises to the waning moon”

“I'm haunted and so are you although we smothered all our ceilings in that bright haint blue”

“It's only in my dreams where he lets be, you see I'm waking up to find that the ghost is me”

“Time won't let us be”

“We're on borrowed time since you set me free”

“I'm haunted and so are you”

I’m haunted, can’t you see him too?”

The Haunting

“We keep repeating the same words in heightened speech, with cutting verbs”

“If i don’t hear, your words won’t hurt”

“Never put up any fight except when it’s in my own mind”

“Like a smothered storm my thoughts they go unknown: Patch the boat, mind the water, make it home”

“I’m so scared i’m the one that is to blame”

“But lies will rot the heart and thoughts and never shield me like I think”

“Someday we’ll learn to shut our mouths”

“Over and over and over it goes with the wine playing tricks and the room spinning slow”

“And I’m trying to focus and show you I notice your eyes perfectly match the dress that you’ve chosen”

“And if you’re saying that you love me--say it slow. And I’ll need you to show me”

Enough

“And I hear it And I see it And I breathe it. It echos, echos, Round it resounds without end”

“Sometimes I don't know if I am loved”

“Sometimes I don't know if I'm enough”

“Not even God could love someone like you”

“I've been trying to retrace my tracks, Hoping to find my way back; When the only running was tag, when you know being it won't last”

Blessed Boy

“I have no one to care for, no one to need and only when running am I ever free”

“I'll fly to the moon and I'll never return, There I can rest as I watch the world turn”

“Blessed boy I've heard your voice and I know they've done you wrong”

“In between your fitful dreams will you learn you do belong”

“It takes more than moonlight to cause you to bloom, come to the garden there's plenty of room”

You are Gonna Miss Me

“Always had this feeling that your hearts not really mine and that some perfect lover was always on your mind”

“You are gonna miss me you will miss my face someday”

“Oh my darling boy i was looking up to you- Well not physically except when you put lifts inside your shoes”

“Boy you did me wrong how could you let me fall- couldn't catch me with hands that were that small”

“You want to make all my decisions but i don't want the same”

“Honey this is my show here i always drink for free”

Salt

“But tide will rise and reclaim her command”

“Mother I'm scared your waters are much too high for me”

“Your changeable ways throw me for days as if lost on the sea”

“The water's calm but still I cannot rest while storms are ever raging in my chest”

“From her I was made with love and care but by her hand I'm scattered everywhere”

“Leaning back the water holds my weight now it will be my turn to create”

Lulu

“I see no way will I hold her like the cinema told me to try”

“When I look at you I see no chance of pushing through and I must be the one to say goodnight”

“Some wishes made are wises left behind”

“She kissed me so sweetly and she promised me nothing but sweetness to last”

[golden--goofball]

OOO ANY CHIPZEL HEADCANONS? GIVE THEM ALL TO ME (also sorry for a lack of a tw on a reblog I made of a post, I have since then tagged it.)

I just read it and found it interesting! I appreciate you going back and tagging it.

Anyways, Chipzel hcs! (Most of these will probably be purpex x marcle because i love them i apologize)

Purpex and Marcle are GAY and DATING

Squadril is that single gay friend awkwardly hanging out with the dating lesbians just glad to be hanging out with his buddies

Like literally no joke the three of them would be on the couch tryna watch a movie and Purpex and Marcle would just start making out and Squadril is just sitting there like ( ಠ ͜ʖ ಠ)

They have weekly movie nights (their favorite movie to watch is The Bee Movie.)

They hold these movie nights in their attic! They have a tv up there, a couch, and a coffee table. They also just, hang out up there a lot. (Purpex and Squadril smoke weed up there sometimes, Marcle prefers to stay away from that stuff, though she'll still do it with Purpex if Squadril isn't able to for whatever reason, because Purpex doesn't like getting high by herself.)

Whenever Purpex and Marcle smoke weed together they usually either cuddle or make out which is the BEST thing to do when high (I'd assume at least)

Purpex teases Squadril like a little brother

Squadril usually teases her back by making fun of her for being the only one out of the three of them to get corrupted

Both Purpex and Marcle bully Squadril for being a fucking shortass

Purpex has some trauma regarding her voice, (she somehow managed to cause an avalanche when her family was hiking up a mountain as a child, she's autistic and has problems regulating her volume) which is why she always speaks in whispers unless she's singing

The few times Purpex does speak normally, she usually freaks out after, thinking she was too loud, only for Marcle to begin complimenting her and telling her how beautiful and soft her natural voice is. Maybe she'll be comfortable enough to speak normally someday.

I'm pretty sure that's about it! Hope you like it!

[silverliningslurk]

She's crying. They usually are.

It's all so confusing, after all. They don't, can't understand what's going on when they appear here, but they don't know there either. Everything is new, big, frightening. The only thing they can do to explain is cry, loud, piercing, grating.

I scoop her up, straightening her drool splattered little blue onesie and pulling her little patchwork knitted hat on further. Her dad knitted it for her, I think, I feel emanating from the fabric. Worry, adoration, love, awe.

She opens her eyes, a deep brown, and stares at me. She doesn't know who I am - the only one she knows is her mother at the moment, only by touch, by smell. Sight recognition will follow later, as will her voice... If she makes it.

"You are so loved..." I murmur to her, tears still tracking down her chubby face. Panic momentarily forgotten, she reaches a hand out to me, a tiny grasping hand. "I'm not the one you need."

She blinks wearily, but I present my hand to hers, many times larger. She holds on like a lifeline. It's a good sign.

"You need your momma's milk, your dadda's hold. So many people want to see you back there, want you to be alright," I tell her. She understands more here than she will back there, or at least, her soul understands the meaning. Her eyes bore into mine, her fingers wrapping around one of mine. "It's not always going to be easy, but they will love you with every fibre of their being. They already do, even though you've only just met." Careful not to jostle her, I walk to the front door, pushing it open with my foot, and standing on the precipice. Here, I can see her situation, ghosts of parents looking over an incubator bed, distraught faces, nurses bustling around, doctors trying their best.

But she is the only one who can make that decision.

She looks out into the fog, the medical scene webbing away like smoke, then back at me.

"You have so many people to meet, so many things to learn. So much to do. You just need to hold on, a little longer out there."

She puts my finger in her mouth, toothlessly chewing on it; I let her, her soul absorbing just a tiny bit of my essence, and it is enough to push her over. She fades from my arms, and I hear the echoes of her crying from elsewhere, fading into the mist.

She'll be back, someday, but I hope she won't be here for decades yet, and when she gets here, we can chat about a life well lived.

From the fog, another figure ripples into shape, an older person, hospital clothes dripping off their emaciated frame, as they clutch a cane. As they step towards the cafe, though, they fill out a little, thin hospital pyjamas replaced by tartan trousers and a red sweater. This one will be going out the back door, I feel - but they will hover here for a time.

I smile. "Would you like a drink? I'd love to hear about your life," I say, and they follow me in, a burden lifted from their shoulders.

You run a café on the edge of life and death. Souls who have been departed from their bodies temporarily, such as in comas or near-death experiences, can relax in your quaint cafe for as long as they need before they can either return to their bodies or begin their journey to the afterlife.

[prettycottagequeer]

alright first poem and it's a heavy one- sorry about that. I'll try to tag all the triggers, make sure you check. this one is also mostly old, so I'm not struggling with the majority of topics here (at least to the same extent)

I wish I was a daughter. 

or a son.

I just feel like a burden.

I'm the fuck up.

I'm a mistake.

a reminder that my parents failed.

don't you know the first one's 

always a bit messed up?

there's a special kind of hurt

that comes from

knowing your parents

would detest you if they

saw you on the street.

and I don't think my mom 

would peel me an orange.

so I won't ask.

I think it's better not to know,

then I can still hope.

I felt like I was orphaned at 13.

she was so young,

so small.

I remember she was sweet.

she loved-

she never grew out of that.

she's still inside of me,

hugging her knees,

knocking her head against my chest

I wish I could hold her

kiss her forehead.

I don't know if I'd tuck her into bed

or a grave.

I'm still just a child,

crying for my mother.

I think I love too hard.

I'd forgive her in a second for a hug but

I don't trust her not to leave.

it still breaks my heart.

my parents know my name, 

they don't say it.

they call for me

but I don't think they say 

her name with love.

I am Isaac! 

but god never stayed 

the hand that fed me

so I had to bite. 

my own hand held a knife too. 

it was cold-

gnawing into my skin,

beading up sticky and red,

clearing my mind.

how do you fix that?

I can feel the anger,

the hate escaping at the edges,

seething, crawling towards me. 

knowing you're loved but not liked-

I just want my mom.

she doesn't want you-

tearing through my head 

like a scream.

like my dad-

at least it doesn't leave welts

like the ones on

my brothers' backs.

thank God

I wasn't born a boy.

I don't think I would've survived

at least my sister's might be spared

maybe that alone is worth it

I've been a mother,

I won't let myself be a father.

so I guess I'll be childless

because I can't bear 

the thought of hurting them,

even on accident.

let alone on purpose.

I wish my parents had thought of that.

I am the first born!

but not first born son-

just first born mistake.

maybe I should be first born martyr

first born memory-

first dead.

maybe then they'd miss me

but no.

it's just another day and

another day of asking

how I can apologize for the offense

of my existence.

I hope she doesn't hate me.

I hope I never have to see

the image of myself

rotting in her eyes.

I hope someday

she'll say my name

with love

[xeroscribed]

Hello, again.

I remember, so vividly, the little girl I once was

Buried in books

Studying for fun

Always exploring or creating

Never afraid of hard work

Even cleaning the unthought of parts of the house for the heck of it

I still believe she's in here somewhere

Somewhere under the layer of smog life cast upon her

So rarely did she play or consume

Toys were for the creation of stories

TV scarcely thought of

Excitement came from learning something new and the joy of sharing it

It is not function alone that's found me in this state

Seemingly incapable of lending my mind and attention to something of worth

It is the toll that has been taken

It is the weight of all I've endured that renders me useless

It is the exhaustion from having carried and healed from it all

Now, adult, so conscious and wise

Lost in fog

I know the direction

Just can't seem to find it

And her focus

Her eager desire to dive in

Only a memory to me now

All I'm left with is resistance

And a tiredness uneased by rest

I want be her again

Or at least to know her

To find her within me and dust the soot off

Bring her into the light

Hold her hand

Invite her to share with me the wonder she possesses

To lend me her eyes so that I might see through them

And perhaps find myself in the process

I'll make new introductions

And welcome her home

As she clears a path bringing me back to my core

I'll take up residence in my tender depths

And begin again, restart my life cycle

I will be her

And she'll be with me

And together, we'll make our way to all we were meant to be

We'll marvel at all of the sights we couldn't see

That the averted gaze of avoiding reality had turned a blind eye to

All of the goodness we missed in dodging the bad

Together, we'll live our life again

I'll shield her from that which I've healed

As she guides me through all that imbues us

With the essence of our curious nature

I can see her

The girl I once was

Through the dust clouds and smoke

I reach out a hand to take hers, so familar

And it stays there

Suspended between us

She doesn't recognise this woman before her

She knows better than to leave with strangers

But her curiosity keeps her planted there

And she stares at me, quizzical, searching for answers

Intuitive as always, she seems aware

Of the significance of this meeting between us

I observe

Keep reaching

Awkwardly attempt to embody her spirit

Just hoping that someday she'll finally see me

And recognise the version of her still within me

Hoping that one day she'll take hold of my hand

Inviting me into the space where she stands.