#i still havent learned how to draw dresses its hard

[39tn39]

@beezonia I really like your designs truly it really helps me learn new things. Anyways I also realize I'm really bad at looking closely and end up making stuff up that isn't even there so I would like your advice on what to fix or something...

You're also really helping me learn proportions and stuff thx

[heyitsyn]

RANDOM SEIJOH HCs ACCORDING TO GIGI

a/n: this is a thing i cooked up between doing trig exam and ap gov review akdsjfldskfj

IM PRETTY SURE I ALREADY USED THIS GIF BUT IM WANTING TO RE-DO MY ENTIRE PAGE AND MAKING BANNERS SO THIS IS A TEMPORARY THING AJDJDJJD ALSO I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO THE KEEP READING THING ON THE APP BYE

oikawa def listens to indie music just bc he wants to feel unique and the 'iM diFfErENt fRoM oTHeR gUrLs' vibes

i FIRMLY BELIEVE IWAIZUMI HAJIME IS ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO CHOMPS ON HIS ICE CREAM BC HE LIKES TO FEEL THE COLD ON HIS TEETH AKSJSKSKSK

meanwhile kunimi eats a kitkat like its pizza just CHOMP

makki caNNOT sleep without a pillow between his thighs LIKE LISTEN he has 2 sisters and they all told him its so comfortable and at first he was like,, ??,, then he tried and now cant sleep without it

bUT MATTSUN LIKES TO SLEEP WITH PILLOWS SURROUNDING HIM bc it makes him feel safe and like there are two body pillows on either side of him and hes kinda trapped in the middle aksjskdk

when kyo was younger, he was really short and although he had other pants, he loved this one pair but they were really long on him and he wore it all the time and the part of the pants that touched the ground is torn in shreds

kindaichi steps on the sofa before sitting LIKE puts one foot on the cushion then the other until hes literally standing on the couch before folding to sit with his knees up to his chest (i do this)

watari sniffs his food before eating it no matter if its something he eats all the time or something new, he still sniffs it either way

yahaba is really particular with his feet and he likes to get a really big tupperware (duh one only meant for his feet) and fill it up with warm almost boiling water and he just soaks them

oikawa has sleep paralysis and he oftens hallucinates about aliens in the corner of his room

kunimi does this thing where he makes weird noises with his mouth like sounds of his mouth opening LIKE when youre tastinf something new and you do that sound with your tongue (I DUNNO HOW TO DESCRIBE IT AJDKSKKD)

makki bends his knees just to crack his ankles

iwa sneezes a ton but he has those sneezes where theyre quiet that you dont even notice or really loudly that it just echoes throughout the gym

kyo sleeps with one sock on bc his feet gets cold easily but both socks make him feel really hot so only one sock is perfect

for a tall and hunk of a guy, mattsun is a very light walker like his footsteps are very light and if he wants to, it can be practically silent

watari actually hates vegetables ajssksksk he particularly hates zucchini, eggplants, any vegetables that are that shape

kindaichi likes to stick or lean against walls because to him, they feel cold and can decrease his body heat

oikawa stands and places his feet at V position like \/ instead of ll because his sister did ballet and he was taught that was the right way of standing and it was considered graceful

yahaba has a fear of cactuses

mattsun does so badly in the heat because his body temp runs so high and the hot surroundings make him feel so uncomfortable and so he takes a lot of cold showers

iwa cannot swim like he freaks out immediately when his toetips can no longer feel the bottom and he panics with thoughts of drowning

watari has really small feet that he still buys big kids shoes to save money

kyotani considered playing baseball because he thought baseball bats were cool but he got angry and threw tantrum after missing his first pitch

iwa chomps on a whole raw chili while eating ramen akskksks

oikawa actually hates sweets bc when he was younger, he had cavities and iwa showed him a cartoon of cavities eating his teeth and will make him toothless

kindaichi really really likes hugs but hes too awkward to ask them even from his parents

yahaba chomps on mints so he goes through boxes of them in a week

i feel like theres a boy in the team who doesnt brush their teeth everyday and rubs a towel on their teeth to make it look clean and take mints to hide their bad breath

iwaizumi is actually iron deficient so he bruises super super fast and he even developed iron defiency anemia when he was younger bc his parents didnt catch on which caused him to be put on strong medication for months and still takes it now

WAIT,, OIKAWA IS LACTOSE INTOLERANT BUT HE LIKES MILK SO HE EATS MILK BREAD TO MAKE HIM FEEL NOT SO BAD OR GUILTY OF CONSUMING STRAIGHT DAIRY

seijoh four bonding time is watching gordom ramsey shows and yelling and screaming 'YEA! EXACTLY!' as if theyre also cooking genuises

watari used to eat grapes all the time until his mom got worried and told him if he doesnt stop, he will eventually turn into one. he only eats it every few weeks

when he was younger, kunimi cried because he had befriended a chicken on a trip to a farm and his mom took him to eat fried chicken after and he thought it was Chicky (his chicken friend :"))

kyotani used to stick out his tongue when it was raining so he could taste the raindrops. they taste better than bottled water

one time, during a seijoh sleepover, they dared oikawa to wear his sisters old uniform, skirt and all, and it backfired so everyone turned red and couldnt look at him in the face

their pregame ritual is touching each other's shoe tips

they tried doing yoga at yahaba's house before by watching yoga youtube videos but everyone ended up having to go to the chiropractor after (how did makki even turn into the human pretzel?)

the local gym gets so scared when they see the team coming through the doors bc these men are so LOUD like they HYPE EACH OTHER UP SO MUCH THEYRE SO ANNOYING AKSKSKDK

also never take them to an all you can eat sushi place. if you do, bring them earlier of the day like 30 mins after opening time so the cooks can cook enough for them without running out of ingredients (even then sometimes they still run out)

oikawa used to eat his mom's roses from her garden because he thought it would make his farts smell good like roses

takahiro is a surprisingly good artist like he draws really cool action fighting scenes in the corner of his papers and stuff

in my work: it's canon that iwa is half filo and his nanay used to dress him up in a barong all the time during halloween bc she wanted him to showcase his heritage

yahaba drinks a lot of milk because he hopes to one day grow strong and bulky like the 3rd years instead of being seen as a pretty boy

kindaichi's mom is a hairstylist and she always scolds him for using a lot of gel bc she's always the one who washes his hair

makki never learned how to do taxes and hes had the government knocking on his door a handful of times (BOKUTO AKKDJSKKS)

kyo has a dog: a chiweenie

there's someone on the team who wears those socks with individual pockets for toes

their pinterest is so different from what they look like for example, mattsun has a board of different flower decorations and arrangements

kunimi throws up during intense horror movies

watari's celeb crush is emma watson

the team alternates from different music genres like from ateez and bts to mxmtoon and beach bunny

they still dont know how to pronounce camila cabello's name

theyre all active in social media but only oikawa is on it 24/7 and in all platforms while the others have insta and snap

mattsun has twins as little siblings and he used to get them mixed up all the time that he used to draw a sharpie dot on the girl's forehead to determine she was his sister

watari hates sitting on the floor bc his butt bone hurts really easily so he can only sit on cushions for long periods of time

the team was supposed to have a party but everyone didnt know what to bring so they proved they shared the same braincell by bringing the same thing: a box of pizza

makki's an old soul and prefers to play records on a record player or watch old movies

kyo is surprisingly good at giving massages because he really pushed hard on those tense muscles

kindaichi knows how to crack necks so everyone goes to him a lot to do it (a friend of mine does this and can i say its terrifying yet so good?)

the only one who has a license is matsukawa and thats because granny needs to go to the doctor a lot and he hates her walking by herself and cabs are expensive

kyotani and yahaba are actually,,, lowkey close,,, not like best friends but theyre nice to each other and they got a stick and poke together (yahaba's was: :) while kyo's was: >:))

watari has a collection of mangas (some bl maybe 👀)

WARNING SAD: mattsun’s future job is a funeral person right? he ends up taking care of granny’s funeral free of charge and he had to take a week off because it was really painful for him

oikawa learned spanish SUPER fast to the point he forgets japanese sometimes but there are moments where he forgets both languages and hes just,,,, ???

makki’s unemployed yea but he rooms with mattsun in exchange of cooking because makki’s surprisingly good at cooking

iwa is practically the nutritionist of the team because he knows everything about proteins, carbs, iron, and needed vitamins so they all go to him to know what to eat and what they need

kunimi has lots and lots of shoes but usually only wears 2

kindaichi has a habit of pretending hes chewing gum even though he doesnt have gum, his mouth just chomps and moves with air akasldfjkf

there was a clown phenomenon in america but in their city, they had a mascots and seijoh 4 went around scaring kids :”(

oikawa never manspreads he gets too insecure to spread out like that akdjfkd

kyotani can easily sleep anywhere like he would be standing and just fall asleep or he sleeps with his eyes open

yahaba’s parents own a restaurant somewhere in the city and he works there sometimes

IM REALLY GOING TOO MUCH ABOUT THIS YALL AKSDJFKL

SORRY IM WRITING TOO MUCH I FEEL BAD THAT I HAVENT UPDATED BUT IM IN A CAR RIDE RN AND I WAS ABLE TO WRITE AGAIN AND MY EXAMS HAVE FINISHED THIS WEEK IMMA CRY

PLEASE, FEEL FREE TO REPLY WITH ANY OTHER HCS YOU GUYS KNOW OF SO I CAN PUT IT IN HERE AND CREDIT YOU WITH IT SO WE CAN HAVE LIKE A HCS BOOK FROM EVERYONE BUT THIS IS WHAT I STARTED WITH

oikawa screams a lot according to gigi but he’s actually a really quiet guy and not easy to scare

OKAY YOU GUYS DONT KILL ME I SWEAR IVE BEEN SO TERRIBLE AT WRITING BUT YOU KNOW WHO TURNED ONE TODAY? THIS PAGE!!! MY BABY IS ONE ALREADY 😭😭😭 ANYWAYS, HOPE THIS CAN MAKE YOU GUYS SMILE TODAY AND SCHOOL ENDS NEXT WEEK AND IM ALREADY AT 132 DRAFTS AMSJKSDKSK SO OH MY GOD THERES GOING TO BE SO MUCH COMING AND IM SO EXCITED TO GET THEM OUT 😩😩

[icecreamkink]

watched all of the untamed / cql in two weeks after my friend 1 told me abt mdzs a hundred years ago and my friends 2 and 3 tried to get me into cql for like two whole years and there are.

feelings.

very first scene is a very dramatic death in the middle of nightmare battle on sith planet land . i will forget abt it in the next tenish episodes and then will be very surprised when it becomes Extremely Painful

anyway magic flying gays and possession and human sacrifice! we are off to a great start

in retrospect, chaos goblin wei wuxian must have had a blast pretending to be so cRaZy and be as disruptive as he could as mo xuanyu lbr

listen. why is fire always evil coded. cant a magic clan wear red, black and orange and have flame motif while being wholesome?

For Legal Reasons These Are Not Zombies

i wish the politics of the sect were a bit clearer, especially at the beggining when the wen clan had sm power, was wen ruohan the chief cultivator? is that why they were so slow in responding to the attacks? im v confused by the pre yiling patriarch politics

fighting in the roof by the moonlight as way of flirtiiiiiiing. as i understand this is a wuxia/xianxia trope and honestly...... thank u for ur service

slight bullying and being a nuisance in general, as a way of flirting we love to see it

wwx: if i drink on the rooftop, thats not inside the cloud recesses! hmmm check and mate :D lwj: i will fuck u up so help me god   wwx: :0

i lov them

through hell or high water (quite literally) wei wuxian rem ains a trashfire gremlin till the end and i love him with my whole heart

in the pt subs wei wuxian calls jiang cheng a stubborn duck and i dearly wish that had come back

my opinions on almost every character goes from love to hate u - Hmm Me Like U - BABY. ILY. and i am Very Pleased w that. its been a while since i loved such a complete cast so much i think

no really. i WONT go into a detailed rant abt what i love about each of these characters and each of their relationships to each other. but i COULD. 

some lan disciples in the loudest whisper ever: YEAH THATS THE JIN BASTARD MENG YAO HEARD THE GOT SUPER HUMILIATED BY HIS DAD LOL SURE HOPE HE DOESNT TAKE SLIGHTS TO HIS CHARACTER TO HEART

lan xichen, immediately: i must Love him 

being into problematic ppl is in the Lan genetics, we come to realize

wen qing deserves so many awards for so many things but not snapping and just stabbing wen chao is at the top 

that scene at lan qirens class where wwx talks about using resentful energy to fight a violent spirit. exquisite.

 It establishes Good Student lan wangji, wei wuxian as curious and questioning and not afraid of taboo,  lwj sees that wwx is not, in fact, a dumb ass hes just a Dumbass,  shows us the audience (esp. a western audience) how shocking the idea of disrupting the dead/dying and controlling resentful energy actually is,  the theoretical foreshadow arguing, everyone else like ‘shUT UP’,  “and how could you ensure that the resentful energy would obey you and not hurt other?” “well i havent thought that far” and of course, lan qiren just straight up lobbing a hard object at wwx head,. chefs kiss

fellas is it gay to bother the hot rule obessessed nerd from ur school and make drawings of him with flowers in his hair and then hide gay porn in his book to antagonize him and ask him to hold ur hand and be ur friend and talk to him all the time and get him drunk and give him bunnies bc you know he likes them and give him a lantern and always want his attention and dedicate yourself to getting him to smile-

and after all of that wwx rly said oh i Admire him, aksd like yeah we all were there in high school buddy

i have Learned. caves = gay.

 accidental marriage +beint physically tied together with the sacred married ribbon+ gay panic+foreshadowing+bunnies! in the cave (1)

the story abt lan yi and baoshan sanren tho. i would like to see it

early days wen bros pull my heart strings like a guqin 

EVERYTHING about the lantern scene; disaster hets jiang yanli and jin zixuan; how wwx made lwj a bunny lantern. how soft and touched lwj was. wwx gleefully pointing out he was smiling and lwj IMMEDIATELY PULLING HIW SWORD ON HIM LMAO. tragically foreshadowy promises to do right by pepople, living without regrets. lwjs 'oh no do i love him??' face. just. all of it. 

i have it on good acc that in the novel lwj is explicitly Repressed Gay Panicked Big Horny which is delightful and rly Adds to the performance

 baby lwj is really just conceal dont feel dont let them know u have EMOTIONS (derogatory)

jiang cheng rly went "why dont.u go play with HIM if u like him so much"

jc and wwx have big BIG annoying sibling energy dont think too hard abt it or youll cry

lotus pier is soo pretty :((((((((((((((((

up until episode 13 you could think this could be a magical ancient chinese gays pride n prejudice w swords and shenanigans ................youre just not prepared for the game of thrones of it all

seriously ha ha ha i cried so much w this show my eyes genuinely swelled up . like. physically. fun timez fun timez

that being said, its hilarious that wen xu goes to cloud recesses like 'come out or ill kill all these hostages' and then DOESNT WAIT FOR AN ASWER AND KILLS THEM ALL IMMEDIATELY. do u know how blackmail works sir

 would like to make it recorded that from day one i was like 'CALL A GODDAMN CULTIVATION G20 THIS ASSHOLE SECT IS LITERALLY MASSACRING YALL!!' and it took them like 3 or 4 massacres to do anything and they STILL sent their heirs into their territory  LIKE

when wwx cites the gusu lan rules to wen chao tho. that rebel/attention whore/cutie pie 'look lan zhan i DID memorize the rules after all' ‘also a big fuck you to the wen sect :D :D’ sweet spot that scene achieves . delicious

all the cultivator young masters being petty af even though they are practically prisoners at the cave is hilarious and i love them

hurt and comfort + gay mistunderstandings + watsonian gay declaration music + accidental evil acquisition! at the cave (2)

its like where do i start? the fact theyre both trapped and kind of heavily injured inside an isolated cave with a murder turtle? wwx gay panicking lwj into coughing up bad blood? lwj being jealous as wwx babbles abt mianmian? telling him he shouldnt play with people and wwx saying he never played him? wwx going Oh. I See what is happening. YOU like mianmian, and lwj absolute done face ??? (iconic) wwx touching the sacred married ribbon Again? the telepathic communication? the sword? WEI WUXIAN ASKING LAN WANGJI TO SING TO HIM AS HE IS PASSING OUT AND LWJ SINGING HIM. THE SONG. HE WROTE. FOR WWX. AND THAT HE CALLED. THEIR SHIP NAME????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

they are SO insufferable pleeeeease

in the words of my friend 1 : “CQL is so gay we were all amazed how it got past the censors Ofc unfortunately it can't be novel level gay But they did their best And we love them for it”

in the theme of songs THIS OST. WUJI HAS BEEN LIVING IN MY MIND RENT FREE SINCE I FIRST HEARD IT the whole ost is so so sO beautiful.

 the costuming in this is also soooo exquisite. the embroidery? the fabrics? the details? how every sect and clan has a distinct style and architecture? (also ik they based each off of dif periods in chinese history which is REALLY fucking cool) just chefs kiss

the direction too!. i enjoy the unusual camera movements and i think they give it that Vibe, also their composition is PARTICULARLY good when it comes to telling the subtext through position of camera/position of character (like nhs off to the side in scenes he at first glance doesnt need to be/ how lwj is often centered when hes Jealous Yearning at wwx being affectionate w other ppl, wwx return from burial mounds etc)

ik madam yu is like Badass Milf Check and shes not getting any mom of the year awards but im delighted at how messy she is. IMAGINE that woman on tiktok

you better have enjoyed gay cave (2) bc its Just Pain from here on out! 

jiang fengmian and madame yu win the Most Dramatic Way to show they do care about each other, actually ..... ever :)

i thought jiang yanli jiang cheng and wei wuxian forcing themselves to escape yunmeng barely holding on after their parents are killed was going to be the height of pain in this show. ha. 

the family dynamics in general on this showwwww, both blood/ adopted/ found families, brotherly bonds and lifelong friendships just. rly. truly. fucked me up. theyre all so important and complicated and well rounded and beautiful and tragic

and beyond being a Win For the Gays im so glad the relationships w wwx and jiang yanli/ wen qing were NOT changed from platonic bc they are so much better like that imo. like maybe if we didnt Live In A Society it wouldnt be so, but the fact wwx and others can love and value them so much and theres nothing romantic or sexual abt it is like. so refreshing. especially @ jyl, with the way he and jc are overprotective of her and shes such a nurturing/care taker figure for them, it would just not vibe as well if they made it romantic

i love that this is a story abt Wei Wuxian, the Yiling Patriarch aka Actual Satan/Boogey Man/Village With/Public Enemy Number One , my dude is literally a necromancer who only dresses in black and has evil smokey black tendrils wafting out of him, but the really edgy one is still jiang cheng, pastel purple fashion icon

and speaking of best/worst siblings wei wuxian and jiang cheng *immediately starts crying* 

The Golden Core Transfer i just. no thots only tears 

wen qing and wen ning putting themselves in so much danger just.... to help them. wn saving jc from wen chao. wq finding a way to get wwx to transfer his core. like thinking about the monumental work these two did to help wwx and jyl and jc... jyl trying so fucking hard to be strong and keep on moving and giver her little brothers comfort after losing everything... jiang cheng. losing his parents and his home and his ability to do anything abt it and his complete desperation and lack of self worth and turning on them with agression  when he didnt realize all that they did for him ... hhhhhhhhhhhhh

me, pointing at the whole cast “i just LOVE them mom!!!”

its sad tho, that BARELY ANY of the women have like.... actual important conversations let alone relationships with each other at all in the story. and like wq and jyl have stayed at the same place for extended periods of time, where wq actively took care of her TWICE,  and still! not one measly convo, nothing! ................ .𝓌ₕᵧ

everyone in this show need a good sip of Self Worth and Stop Sacrificing Yourself juice 

ngl the sword flying looks very dumb 

“a-cheng, please bring a-xian back.” “i will, i promise.” ;-;

the whole calling each other by the More Intimate Version of the name, first as teasing and later as true intimacy. mmmhmmm yes

untamed where everythings the same but wwx evil flute song is eoeo

related that scene when wwx comes back from the burial mounds for the first time w demonic cultivation and he acts all formal and calls lwj hanguang-jun and keeps being evasive and distant and mean and soooooo................. facetious 

and how hes kind of desperately trying to keep intense lwj at bay (A FIRST) and avoiding actually talking to either of them and its all tension ughhh and then he MOCKS his and lwjs relationship, he jokes w him in this like... mean echo of their usual ~banter~ oof 

 and like!!! uncertain but so relieved jc who just HUGS him w no reservations for once and its not like he isnt just as worried as lwj abt wwx and what hes doing, but he chooses in that moment to enjoy getting him back first and mmhmMMMmMm yes (maybe my favorite scene in the whole show? MAYBE SO. ) 

highkey hurt me but also. i might be into mean wwx. i will take no criticism.

lan zhans sad eyes tho :((((((((( 

on one hand i wish we could have seen what happened at the burial mounds but on the other the timeskip adds so much flair to his return so im hnnn

also i love that hes been missing for 3 months reappears kinda melancholic and bloodthirsty and knowing malign tricks and jc is like 'so. are u sad bc of lan wangji'

when ur bae survived the war but he thinks ur evil/ might be evil so you cant kiss :///

hmmm talking at the rooftop under the moonlight not mentioning everything that stands between usssss

they are the two jades of lan and we’ll be the two heroes of yunmeng is the type of line u dont even need to know whats gonna happen to know thats gonna be sad

when they fight wen ruoshan at the nightless city i thought that was the battle we see at the first ep and its not and its so easy and theyre all like ‘yayy we won go wwx!’ i was just. SCREAMS WHAT is gonna HAPPEN

so like. post burial mounds/sunshot campaign pre yiling patriarch wwx is like. ultra arrogant, ultra mocking, peak lil shit and it gave me e v e r y t h i n g i wanted

even tho having the wen prisoners at the targets at phoenix mountain and still having wwx and jzx shooting the arrows was???? so.... tone deaf 

wwx: fucking w demonic energy   jyl: he has never done anything wrong in his life, ever <3 <3 (mood)

the parallels between meng yao/wei wuxian (and even xue yang a bit?) are Seen and they are Valid

wwx post burial mounds: can yall SHUT UP abt the goddamn sword (suibian left the chat)

LIKE truly, we talk abt the angst and yearning with wangxian. but what abt wwx and suibian. xianbian / xianqing angst and comfort 100k

take a shot everytime someone coughs up blood

zidian is simply the coolest spiritual weapon rip to suibian and chenqing and bichen and sendou and baixa........ but tis the truth 

cons: everyones families died in a nightmare war! everyones homes burned to the ground! everyone is traumatized! pros: everyone gets cooler clothes and weapons!!

wen ning and a-yuan and yanli bestest babes squad dont touch me rn

everyone: brooding and fighting                                                                wq and jyl: why dont you try some acupunture/drinking some soup and calm down huh? how abt that bitch?? 

showing the battle/massacre at the nightless city first was genius actually bc then everytime we have a cute scene w yunmeng bros and theyre like 'we'll be together forever! uwu' youre like oh. oh no. oh no no no. 

justice vs lawfulness vs means and ends 👁

jc: stay in the right path and practice the art of the sword                        wx: yeah thats not gonna happen chief

my reaction to wwx renouncing to the sect politics to help the wens was just that elmo burning gif in succession

the dramatic rain. wen qing desperately calling out to wen ning. the ghosts/puppets killing the guards. how terrifying wn actually was while wwx was controlling him :( lwj goeing after him to try and stop him and then he just; he Sees him and understands him even if he cant actually do anything about it other than let them go. 

“there must be somewhere in this earth we can go to :(((((((((”

"IF I HAVE TO FIGHT THEM, I'D RATHER IT BE YOU. DYING BY YOUR HANDS WOULD AT LEAST BE WORTH IT." oh my god oh my god oh my goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooddddddd

also lwjs umbrella is white w black smoke.. .  . nice

yiling patriarch / demonic farming burial mounds settlement is like one of my favorite concepts. they an "EVIL" FARMING COMMUNITY LED BY THE VILLAGE WITCH COME ON

they planted TURNIPS and LOTUS FLOWERS and ONE (1) baby and made lanterns and a common hall :(((((((

wen qing and wei wuxian, baddest bitches and genius science best friends i absolutely LOVED to see it. they rly went ‘is anyone gonna sibling/project partner that’ and didnt wait for an answer

both wwx and jyl getting lotus ponds at the burial mounds and in lanling bc they miss lotus pier ;;;;;;;w

;;;;; wish jyl had actually gone into the burial mounds. we were robbed of jyl and wq meeting again and jyl meeting a-yuan and seeing the settlement and the homes and all ;w; at least jc did go, stab wounds and broken arms and all

wwx like... having thrown his whole life away to help the wens (yeah the sect leaders and jin guangshan in particular wanting his stygian tiger amulet was an Element but still) and not.... necessarily regretting it, but grappling with all of the consequences of it... becoming moody and drepressed at times, missing his family and lotus pier and his friends and probably simply missing being around people and causing trouble, extrovert that he is, lashing out at the wens and at a-yuan, just in general the whole messiness of that experience

the way the resentful energy does affect his temperament is rly nice bc its not too in your face,(i mean outside of the Shaky Hands of Rage) but like he clearly has a much lesser control on his anger and impulsivity (tall order) than both before bm and after hes ressurected

on that note A-YUAN BABIEST BABY BOY BEST BOY

lan zhan being like oh hey there wei ying fancy meeting u and our son here. just passing by u know how it is hmmmmMm and then PLOT TWIST having defied orders to go see him and being punished for it. oof;;

 they habent seen each other in like? a year? and now theyre tgt 10 seconds and are already parenting a child together

also lwj rly kneels down in the snow way too much to be healthy

wwx: calm down guyssss i wont lose control of demonic cultivation omgggg  .   spoiler alert: he loses control of demonic cultivation

did u enjoy cute children? good bc now the Real Pain Begins

jiang yanli and jin zixuan rly out there APROPRIATING both disaster gays AND bury ur gays huh ;w;

i KNEW jin lings birthday was gonna fuck something up but the GASP that left my body when wwx lost control of wn and killed jin zixuan .. . . 

im sorry and thank you aaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAaAAAAA 

when wen ning and wen qing were telling wwx their plan i was saying NO NO NO NO NO NO out loud in despair 

also can we talk abt how wq is definetely talking about only the both of them surrending themselves but then? everyone else just surrenders w them? IT MAKES NO SENSE LIKE WHY WOULD THEY what would be the Point

 sometimes there are some pretty gaping jumps in logic and continuity that are just like                     ?          ?

wwx: oh so when you try to murder me its justified but when i survive through dark magic and murder all of you its a "war crime"

unsurprisingly, his most feral, most spiraling moment talking to the sect leaders on the roof and attacking them and even fighting lan zhan is among my favorite scenes... its like, so painful to watch but also   so       thrilling   (and maybe my wen bbs dying arose some resentful energy in me what can i say) 

and its JUST, all they ever wanted was to do good but then... war. and trauma. and hubris. 

jiang cheng on the ground clearly thorn between what to do and feel is a Mood, lets just say

i was already crying when jyl showed up, but if i wasnt-

 i suffered SO MUCH through this series trying to figure out WHY jc would kill wwx. and when i understood. its somehow not as bad as i thought and also MUCH MUCH WORSE

a look into my group chat during the last flashback episodes:

SO ANYWAY. after the BLOOD BATH and RIPPING YOUR HEART OUT and FEEDING IT TO YOU  the untamed goes ‘ayy back to the present!! tu du dud ud du’ 

literally it ends a quarter into an episode and then KEEPS GOING i had to pause and stare blankly at the ceiling for an hour

babie cultivators and detective soulmates . i do need some cute after All of That 

(not that the pain is over LOL)

lwj is significantly less emotionally repressed in the present and its delightful. hes just ALL IN with wwx. and not just in the ‘i would and have killed various men and risked my reputation for you’ but also ‘ur tired here have a drink i brought it up cause i know u like it and it want you to be happy, always’

“when everyone praised me and wanted my power, you were the only one that challenged me. now that everyone hates me and wants me dead, youre the only one that stands by my side.” hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnn 

and just filling in the blanks how lan zhan searched for him. for all of those 16 years he searched for him and was punished for it and raised a-yuan, the only survivor of the burial mounds settlement, as his own in gusu......

and jiang cheng.  being the tough love uncle . having raised the yunmeng jiang clan from the rubble all alone, his whole family dead, some of it on the blame of his own brother, his siblings, his closest friends gone.......and only jin ling there needing his guidance. 

THE PARALLEL BETWEEN JIN LING BEING A LIFELINE FOR JIANG CHENG AND A-YUAN FOR LAN WANGJI AFTER THE BATTLE AT THE NIGHTLESS CITY  

great now i made myself sad

and like . the fact! that lwj and jc dislike each other!!. jc projects blame onto him for wwx both “leaving” him and indirectly causing their families deaths and when hes so consumed by it he makes wwx an enemy, lwj is there now? trying to protect him?? and lwj, who can never understand the pain that wwx , indirectly or not put jc through, but who was right there when jc tried to kill him and will never allow him to hurt wwx again. and how they like. in a way project blame of their tragedies onto each other while dealing with some type of survivor guilt and in their own way still loving wwx through it all???  amd in way its kind of fundamentally selfish but also tragically understandable? and like when u put it against the fact that after he disappears during the sunshot campaign they were looking for him together and fought together??

JUST. THE CHARACTERS. AND THE RELATIONSHIPS IN THIS. MAN. UGH. GOD. 

and like i think thats what makes it so good? its such a sad and painful and violent story, edgy even, but its compelling bc at the center of it there are all of these relationships and different types of love and hope and. :( i love it

enough crying lets talk abt wwx sleeping at the jingshi with lwj and wearing his under garment for a minute 🙏

 jin ling just has that Was Raised by JC energy tho lmao i love him

babie cultivator squad is the perfect ammount of cute and comedic relief while still bearing the weight? of the narrative in a way, both from sizhui and jin lings existences, and also. like. how do i put this. they feel hopeful? they were born after a war, they came of age at a time of relative peace, they dont hold on so closely to the resentments of their parents/father figures, they are specifically shown as more accepting and open minded. and its like.... Hope for the future  

one of the ?? things  i love the most is the fact that the main cast are often in situations where theyre hunted/running but they like. never wear disguises... just going around in their gorgeous expensive clan clothes and hair ornaments and distinctive spiritual weapons.... maybe w a straw hat on, just for kicks

wwx teacher 🥺🥺🥺

so this is why its called Yi City Misery huh

a-qing is such. an icon. im so sad. my girl even knew to leave xys dumb self rotting by the road but no one listens to her thats why theyre all dead or sad 

her and xue yang measuring each other up was so entertaining lmao

 its the funniest thing when hes like. HERES MY SAD STORY. FOR WHY IM A SADISTIC MURDERER. I BROKE MY HAND ONCE. 

like ok someone broke his hand in a horrible way, and like Poverty, i get it but also like.......... that lost the brunt of a proper sob story like, 50 sadistic murders ago bby

and i love that xingchen does not entertain that for a second hes like ‘not ?????? good enough???’ and the best thing is he wasnt even like 'u hadto be the bigger person' or sth but ' well then break that dudes hand back, rip his arm off for i care, what do the rest of us have to do w anything???” 

anjo sensato :(

xue yang is like..... the sexy sadistic evil version of a himbo..... a meanbo...

the fucked upness of xy’s feelings for xxc/ xxc and sl feelings for each other... like my dude literally gave his bf HIS EYES. and xy getting so attached to xxc .... the fucked up fake domesticity.... having him hurt sl..... then desperately trying to bring him back ...................... oof

song lan........... literally had his eyes AND tongue removed, his bfs eyes put in place, was almost killed, turned into a puppet by his bf unknowingly, manipulated by xy, sees his bf killing himself in despair.... and STILL finds the strenght to get up from there, and keep on traveling and helping people and attempting to fix xxcs soul.......... like, my man. damn. 

wangxian looking at songxiao and seeing an Actually more painful parallel for themselves. ft. that Color Coding. 

THE A-YUAN/SIZHUI REVEAL PUNCHED ME IN THE HEART but in a good way for a change

should have know that he would be the Best Boy the cute one w all the braincells

the butterfly AND the bunny lantern. i see how it is

u know is very convenient that no one can see the stark black veins on wen nings neck, ever 

BAT WEN NING 

wns face when lwj comes into wwx room like ‘:0 omg did u two finally get your shit together? good for you master wei good for u’ 

(they didnt) (yet)

DISASTER DRUNK LWJ. JUST. THRUST SOME CHICKENS TO SHOW UR RESSURECTED BAE THAT U LOVE THEM.

i have absolutely no idea WHY they gave lwj the same punishment for fighting his own sect/allies to protect the burial mounds as when they got drunk on cloud recess class days.... like? its such a ... emotional continuity error again

also is lwj gonna get an actual friend besides wwx , ever

mianmian marrying and having a family and a cute life after saying FUCK U AND UR SYSTEM TOO in a much less unhinged and dramatic way than wwx......... fills me w joy

also lol the idea that like. her husband not knowing that shes friends w satan/the boogey man/the village witch is hilarious

i love nie mingjue bc hes the resident Though Guy but also the most dramatic bitch in this show and thats Saying Something

jin ling cant have one uneventful relative can he

the fact that everyone present already knew “mo xuanyu” was wwx at the stairs is so funny, their faces are like ‘oh............ wow. that. sure is a development. shock” 

in the tradition of extremely loud whispers wwx tells lwj with twelve guards standing like one meter away from them: HEY PSH LAN ZHAN PRETEND IM FORCING YOU TO STAY W ME DO IT

oh my god oh my god

the absolute Yearning on his face when he leaves wwx and a-yuan at the burial mounds and refuses to stay for dinner was already Enough but the fact?? they brought it back?? to this declaration of love?? their expressions??????? strike me dead right now just go ahead

lFor Legal Reasons We Cant Kiss but we will have a very sappy declaration of love and trust and look at each other in way that is the actualization of 💞💘💗💖💓💘💞💗💖💘💗💖💕💞

also icb all the sect leaders and guards are standing there watching them say they like like each other with a dozen swords pointing at their neck

i enjoyed the depiction of the fickle public perception and how easily it can be used to scapegoat people. when the sect leaders turn on jgy and wwx knows thats its more for convenience than anything else...

poor lxc is literally like 'oh so when YOUR problematic boyfriend gets called evil its a misunderstanding but when its MY problematic bf-'

ok like i cant get over nmj let jgy play a song that messed with his temperament at all, like maN u KNEW he might be shady wth

wwx: “hey dont say anything bad abt lan zhan hes not an arrogant dick, thats just his face. 

ME ON THE OTHER HAND"

the cultivators as wwx is poking holes in their narrative is literally *nazaré meme*

"wei wuxian-!" "what did i break your leg, too?" not to be problematic but i laughed so hard

not as hard as "you dont have the rank to talk to me " tho

i Enjoy that, over the course of story, wwx sees that... theres nothing truly to Do, but move on. he saw how his arrogance and his mistakes hurt others, and hes trying to fix what he can, but he already did die for his mistakes and there are things he cant fix and that's. just how it is. even towards jgy, the narrative doesn't go gleefully and completely with "lets make THEM pay bc theyre the big bad" bc its not that simple, and it wouldn't lead anywhere but more pain...

re him and jiang cheng and the wens and kinda. isnt that what nhs did? scheming to displace jgy out of revenge more than any justice and doing so in the most painful way?

idk if that actually makes sense im truly just babbling

i thought the scene at the lotus pond would be CUTE but the context was PAIN again

jiang cheng finding out about his golden core and his conflict with wwx at the guanyin temple .... destroyed me but in a nice way kinda.... same way it destroys him look at his face oh god

and. the fact??? he sacrificed himself for wwx?? first?? and he'll probably never tell anyone much less wwx???? keeps me up at night

i havent decided if the neckbreak transition between jgy does sth super Evil or does he he does OR Does He yes he does O R does heeeee is sth i dislike or not

jin guangyao and wei wuxians most interesting parallel is that... theyve both seen 'hmm hey this system is fucked up' and wwx went 'so fuck it all i will renounce it and challenge it' and jgy went 'so fuck it i will use all of it to my advantage and manipulate it to my goals and whims'

the fact jgys mom was actually great and he loved her and his whole issue w it was more than simply being ashamed of being a bastard kinda got me ngl

never trust a dude with a fan.

nhs and jgy: the first rule to a convoluted and decades spanning violent revenge plot is to have fun and be yourself! 

when a-yuan finally FINALLY remembers ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; wen ning has someone in his family back and a-yuan has someone to talk abt his wen family and wwx has him back bc he survived and lwj raised him anD HES THEIR SON. THEYRE MARRIED AND HAVE A SON. UGH.

and theyre allowed to heal. everyone is allowed to try and recover and be happy

netflix put all of the 3 endings on top of each other and it looks kinda weird actually BUT I DONT EVEN MIND :’’’’’’’’’)

the gasp that left me when lwj says ‘wei ying’ and wwx turns.........

there was also a screen with ‘thank you mxtx for creating these characters, we hope their wishes come true’ and i might. have cried then too. maybe. 

that was . a ride. as is proven by this behemot of a ramble clearly i just really needed and Outlet. i am currently trying to convince dumb monkey brain to not consume the other medias of mdzs immediately bc i REALLY need to like. live. a life. and take care of real responsibilities.  *longest oh boi ever*

[ivanshatov]

what the fuck, gay little edgar

(also on ao3)

wc: 1.5k

i havent written about king lear in a while huh. anyways funny gay people

Something the peace of an isolated country town offered was the lone coffee store. Maybe there were no fantastic shops, or entertainment, or places to go, but at least there was the coffee shop, right on the corner and hidden in the basement of an older building. It was the perfect meeting place, and the perfect refuge for a shivering and rain-soaked Edgar, struggling with his bag as he stumbled down the steps. His arrival was announced with the chime of a bell, and the door swung shut behind him. 

He was greeted immediately by Cordelia, who accosted him by the arm and dragged him to their corner table before he could even so much as look at the cashiers. “I thought you might have forgotten!” she exclaimed, mary-janes clicking on the tile floor. 

“No, it was just rainy. Very rainy, as a matter of fact.”

She looked him over before plopping in her booth. “I can tell.”

“Ahaha. Thanks,” he replied. Pushing his wet hair out of his face and flashing a pointed eye roll, he took a seat across from her. “I already got you a coffee. You can pay me back later, don’t worry,” she announced proudly, sliding him the paper cup with a smile.

He stared blankly into the cup and loosened his tie. “Thanks.” Then, “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Yeah, I know, Dad’s been dragging me everywhere but school,” she replied, raising her eyebrows and lifting the coffee to her lips. “How’s your studies?”

“Oh, you know, great…” Edgar muttered, sheepishly turning his gaze to look out the window. Rain pattered down on the fogged glass. “I don’t know. Haven’t figured out anything I want to take my A-Levels for.”

“There must be something that interests you. History? How about French? Science? Anything you particularly enjoy?”

“I don’t particularly enjoy academics as it is,” Edgar huffed, blowing off the steam that had gathered above the cup. “Edmund says I’m a mean footballer. He’s better at that academic crap.”

Cordelia shifted at the mention of his brother, crossing her argyle tights and smoothing her skirt. “How is Edmund, anyhow?” She glanced out the window, then eyed Edgar again. “And perhaps you should get him to tutor you.”

“My snot-nosed brother has more interesting things to do than tutor the likes of me, such as a production of Anything Goes to attend to,” he snorted.

Cordelia grinned, fidgeting with one of her earrings as she spoke. “I didn’t know Edmund could sing.”

“He can’t, actually. Assistant stage manager,” Edgar winked. “Boosted his ego more than ever before. Trust me, you don’t want to hear him sing, unless you’d like to go to the doctor’s for an ear infection.”

“Ah, yes, the unadulterated ego of a primary school theatre kid,” she said wistfully, holding her paper cup to the light.

Edgar leaned back, raising his eyes to the ceiling. “And how are your studies?”

Cordelia huffed, pushing her cup aside. “Nonexistent. Dad and his advisors would prefer me to be fawning over dresses. At least I get to spend time with my sisters, but—” she cleared her throat. “I’ve been thinking of applying to go to school in the states.”

“The states?! Talk about creating distance. You’d go that far to get away from this?” Edgar asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“Uh, yeah. I don’t want to do this obsolete crap. I’d rather go to California, or something, and wear what I want,” she grumbled. “Certainly not ballgowns. Well, maybe you should consider football. Soccer, whatever. Come to Cali with me.”

“Eh, I don’t really have a choice. Dad’s been waiting for me to inherit the earldom since day one,” Edgar replied, folding his hands. “Would be fun though.”

“Why can’t Edmund just take it?” she asked, innocuous, drawing her finger over the rim of the coffee cup. 

Edgar rolled his eyes again. “You know as well as I do that that won’t happen.”

“In a perfect world…” Cordelia said, drawing out another long and wistful sigh and batting her fake eyelashes. “Now, why have you called this meeting here, your grace?”

He cleared his throat, fidgeting with his tie and collar and sitting up in the proper way. “I’ve come to discuss certain romantic developments that’ve happened.”

“Oh, who?!” Cordelia squealed and grabbed Edgar’s hand, swinging it back and forth. “Your first partner! What’s their name? Are they at court? I must know this instant. I can get Mr. Kent to arrange a date if so. My goodness! My little godbrother, finding the love of his life!”

“No, it’s not like that,” Edgar mumbled, his face hot with embarrassment. “It’s something else. Plus, you are but nine months my senior, Cordelia.”

“Nine months makes but all the difference in the world. Now tell me, what is this regarding?” She leaned forward in interest, hands folded.

“Oh, Cordelia.” Edgar looked away sheepishly, tugging at the loop of his tie before turning back and keeping his gaze on her mary-janes. “I think, I think, I may be, um…” He looked up, a shade of red, before turning away again. “I may be unable to carry on the bloodline of my father.”

Cordelia cocked an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

Edgar hushed his voice and placed his hands on the back of his head. “I think I’m gay.”

Cordelia sat, dumbfounded, as he continued in a panic. “You see, I took this quiz, and, and, it all made sense. That’s not the reason I think I’m gay, though, you know, I think I’ve always known, because every time my dad tried to set me up with some girl from the court I just feel nothing. I look at those women on TV and I feel nothing. You must understand, right? I mean, you’re—” Edgar cut himself off, hiding his face in his hands. “I didn’t mean it that way. I just always thought, well, you, maybe, were, um, like me. And, well, Edmund has experience with this too but I always thought that, well…” His tirade drew to its close and he inhaled a sharp breath. “I’m sorry.”

They sat in silence for a few moments before Cordelia started to laugh. “No, no. Don’t apologize, you’re fine. You’re right. Thank you for trusting me. I’m bisexual myself, so, yes, I do quite understand your struggle,” Cordelia waved her hands and winked. “My sisters know. They don’t really understand, of course, but they know. My dad, on the other hand…” She trailed off and smiled halfheartedly. “So, Edmund knows?”

“We use the same computer so he at least suspects something,” Edgar coughed. “Well, I’m confident he won’t judge me. But my father, oh, my dad! I don’t know what he’ll do! His first son, his proudest achievement, killing off the Gloucester bloodline forever!”

“Edmund can still have children though, no?” she asked, eyebrow cocked.

“Well, um, I suppose— Cordelia,” he mumbled, shoving his face back into his hands. “I don’t know what I’ll tell him. He’s already disappointed that I don’t know or care for the first thing about politics, and now, well, I just don’t know.” Edgar shifted in his seat, hands drumming on the table. “God, I’m sorry to be dumping all of this on you.”

“Don’t apologize. You don’t have to apologize to me,” she insisted, smiling. “If there’s one thing I know about your father, it’s that he loves you. Very much. He may not always show that love in the right ways, but I can assure you he does. Trust me, I’ve learned that the hard way.” She outstretched her hand and linked it with his. “It’s really your decision. If you feel safe or not, it’s your choice, and I can’t make it for you. Just remember, he’s your dad.”

“Yeah, my dad,” Edgar muttered, rolling his eyes. “Stupid fucking dad living vicariously through his son.” He slurped the rest of the coffee and slammed the paper cup down. “I hate it here.”

“Not the coffee shop, though?”

“No, I just hate it here,” he grumbled, puffing his cheeks. “You’re right, monarchies should be obsolete.”

Cordelia threw her head back and laughed. “And I thought you knew nothing of politics, Edgar!” Her eyes sparkled as she tossed her hair back over her shoulders. “At least you have the right idea about it.”

An anxious look crossed Edgar’s face, and she grabbed his hand. “Hey. You’ll be fine. We’ll make it out sooner or later.” She leaned forward and cupped her hand around his ear. “Or, escape to the States with me and we can go surfing or something.”

Edgar closed his eyes and snorted. “Right, surfing. That’s on the top of my bucket list.” He sighed, resting his head in his hands and gazing back at Cordelia’s warm gaze. “You’re right. We’re going to be just fine.”

“Just fine,” she repeated. “Promise.”

[volganic]

Wardrobe Malfunction

i havent written anything for so long and its volink lowkey based on this so i apologize in advance but its MOSTLY SFW

When it came time to answer the call to battle, it wasn't unsurprising that the Hero had to be at his absolute best in mind and spirit.  However, despite the amount of victories under his belt, Link still found ways to make the most loyal of his comrades doubt the extent of his absolute best.  Having his pride quashed after a near-death experience in the Temple of Souls, Link found something to lay his pride into that went beyond the shiny blade of legends.

Vanity.

Armor locked away in a treasure chest are bound to be worn at some point. Like a key to locked doors, or a new weapon to be wielded, new clothes are just as functional for battle.

The fairy watching Link struggle putting together his latest find was starting to doubt this was even worth wearing.  It hardly looked like any clothes that a hero would wear.  It didn't look like any clothes even any decent person would wear in the first place!  Proxi flew around her companion aimlessly, tripping over her words of caution that would soon fall on deaf ears.  After the fourth time of being shooed away, the fairy knew she couldn't make her point come across the Hylian -- but she knew someone who could.

In a huff, Proxi quickly made a beeline down the long and empty corridors of the castle.  It was near time to be called away for another battle against dark forces, as everyone readied in their quarters.  Luckily enough, the door to a certain knight was cracked just enough for the fairy to squeeze herself through to find him adjusting the last few straps of his sharp gauntlets.  He sure was intimidating with or without his armor.

"Volga!  I need your hel-"

"No," he interrupted coldly, not even sparing her a glance.  "The general will be us calling soon for battle, and I have no time for your games."

"This isn't any sort of game!" she cried, moving up to meet the dragon knight in the eyes.  Despite his cold stare, she continued, "It's Link!"

"What of him?  He should be preparing for battle like the rest of us.  He could not have gotten himself in trouble within the walls of the castle.  I will not repeat myself, fairy, I have no time for games."

"He's not in trouble, but he will be if you don't come talk to him!" she retorted as she flew out of the way from being shooed off again.  Proxi stood her ground and stared him down, adamant that the warrior should pay heed to her words.  "Will you please come speak with him?  He won't listen and he will get himself hurt!"

After a long minute of deliberating whether or not they actually need Link to complete the mission, he sighed in defeat.  "Fine," Volga spat, moving to rise from his seat.  The fairy bobbed in place to make sure that Volga had actually planned to follow her out of the room, quickly heading back to where Link's door had been closed.  She hovered over the doorknob anxiously as the knight took long and languid strides before pausing.  There were some frustrated grunts and shuffling audible from the other side.  Volga passed her a subtle glance in question.

"He's still getting dressed."

Volga didn't need to hear anymore as he rolled his eyes and rapped against the door impatiently.  Surely this was a cruel joke of some kind.  The Hylian was more than familiar with putting on armor on his own, and to call this anything more than emergency for his fairy to come find aid was more than laughable.  

"Link, open the door."  Whatever he was doing on the other side had come to a stop at the sound of the whole doorframe shaking and the knight's booming voice.  After a few seconds of silence, the knight's frown seemed to grow even deeper.  "I will not ask again, open the door now, Link."

He was still met with no answer other than the sound of even more hurried shuffling.

Proxi was quick to move out of the way when clawed hands reached for the doorknob.  She was fast to fly above the dragon's helmet to get a look in the room as the door was pried open with little care, and even faster to head back over to her master's side as he froze in his place, now in full view of an angry dragon knight.  Volga could feel fire burning in his throat as he was more than furious having his requests being ignored, but it quickly died when he laid eyes on the Hylian.

After what felt like an eternity of stunned silence between the three of them, Volga felt the fire burning inside of his throat -- and across his face -- as he realized--

"What are you wearing?!"

It took a minute for the knight to realize that Link had also asked him the same question, nearly missing the flurry of signals from his hands.  Volga pinched the bridge of his nose to bite back a smart comment, giving the crudely dressed hero a heavy sigh.  It was difficult to form the words he wished to say about how utterly ridiculous he looked in whatever god forsaken treasure chest he dug that costume out of.

"I am wearing my armor, if you could not so plainly tell," he hissed, dragging his hand down his face as he looked back down to Link's defiant eyes, now having taken a defensive stance by crossing his arms.  "Whatever you're wearing," he paused to try and decipher the banner of Hylian text currently strapped to his back -- Postman? -- "is not suitable for combat."

"I told you, Link!" the fairy sang, moving to land on his shoulder.  Link kept his frown and uncrossed his arms to sign.  "I am wearing clothes from the era we're being called to.  You should be wearing the armor from that era too!  The black set!"

"Absolutely not," Volga frowned.  "There is nothing wrong with this armor.  Why are you not wearing your tunic that was given to you?  The one that actually proves yourself a hero?"

"It only makes sense to wear something from the era we're visiting, so why not?" he signed quickly, accompanied by a shrug of his shoulders.  "The black set of your armor matches with that of the dragon from that er-"

"And I am not that dragon.  That dragon is of evil intentions, and I am neither good nor evil, nor do I have the intention of associating myself with such dragon," Volga glowered, taking a step towards Link to swipe the hat off the top of his head.  He continued despite the tantrum was throwing as clawed fingers pierced into the leather material.  "If you are going to be the hero, you are going to have to dress like one."

"I still am the hero!" Link huffed, throwing his hands up in the air when he realized the hat was not coming back into his possession.  "I'll be fine!  The outfit changes nothing!"

"It does when it comes to functionality," the knight retorted.  Clearly his point wasn't getting across to Link either.  "What if a moblin were to throw his spear at a distance from where you cannot see?" he asked, moving quickly to move behind him, take a swipe at Link's bare upper leg, clawed gauntlet tips raking across the pale skin to leave angry red lines, drawing a sharp hiss out of the hero.  "Perhaps a Stone Blin with sticky fingers?" Volga reached out for the straps keeping the banner attached to Link's back, pulling him closer to the knight to prevent him from moving too far out of his reach.

"Or what if a Darknut or Stalmaster chose to push you away with their shields before moving to strike?"  A fistful of his shirt was enough to draw a sharp gasp out of Link as claws dug in before he was pushed onto his stomach with a hard shove. The Hylian barely had any time to recover from the shock of meeting the ground before he flipped himself onto his back to argue his point, only to be met with the pointed end of Volga's spear at his chin.

"Goddesses forbid you find yourself unarmored against a turncoat leader.  What a shame it would be to find the hero, dead, to a traitor of all things."

The end of the spear soon met with the tender flesh of the hero's neck as he swallowed thickly.  The air was tense as the images bounced around in Link's head.  His hands curled into fists at the thought, signaling the knight to kneel before him, spear still in hand, to bring his attention back onto him.

"Do not make yourself a target."

Volga drew his spear away from the Hylian's chin and rose back to his feet, offering a hand to help him up.  After a few seconds of reluctance, Link took the clawed hand and pushed himself up off the stone floor.  Despite the cold awakening, the defiance was still in his eyes as he brushed himself off while Proxi worried over the exposed wounds.  Link's eyes softened as he looked up at the knight; lesson learned.

"Very well," Volga chuckled quietly, patting Link on the shoulder, "I see that you have come to your senses."  The knight watched as the hero struggled to reach the straps on his back to undo the bindings of the banner, snorting as he assisted him with the damned thing.  "Though it might not be battlefield appropriate, I cannot say I completely despise it.  Perhaps in some other setting-"

Link paused and shot the knight a wary, but still so curious, glance.  Pink painted over the features of his face, reaching the tips of his ears. "Wait, are you implying-?"

The sound of the war horn summoning them to battle interrupted Link's shaky hand gestures as it echoed down the hallways.  Volga waited for the sound to dissipate before turning his attention back to the Hylian with an affirmative nod.

"That is our cue.  I will leave you to dress.  I will see you on the battlefield."

He turned quickly to leave Link to his own devices, ignoring the sheepish wave goodbye that was given to him as he pulled the door shut behind him.  The knight made his way down the quiet halls before the sound of heavy, hurried footsteps drew him out of his focus, finding the Sheikah general marching up to him.

"Hurry on! We are leaving soon, and I will not wait for stragglers." she spat.  She glared at  him as if it were his own fault that they were still standing around.  "Where is Link?"

Volga scowled at her tone.  He knew better than to argue with her when it came time to prepare for battle.  He bit his tongue and nodded down to the corridor behind him.  "Still getting dressed."

Impa's frown tightened on her purple lips as she nodded silently in thanks, continuing her march down the long corridor to collect the hero.  A small smirk came to Volga's lips as he could imagine that her reaction would be much worse than his when she finds him.  He barely turned into the main castle hallway before he heard three heavy knocks on the door echoing through the air, followed soon by--

"Link? What are you wearing?!"

[wormssss]

so. basically. tl;dr i ffuucking hate school it sucks and it doesnt. do ANYTHING but make things worse . anyway.

the schooling system like. it sucks for me specifically in a few ways idk abt anyone else. for starters; neurodivergency literally at all makes it so hard to function in a classroom environment. its so loud? idk if anyone else gets that in their classrooms but you can hear my class of 23~ from the bottom floor of the 3 story building and that’s considered quiet. as well as like, i cannot function in a classroom without my friends? im out at school and like.... everyones.. transphobic obv why wouldnt they be, and its not in like a..any avoidable way. if i sit with the guys they’ll refuse to talk to me and deadname me all period adn if i sit with the girls theyll laugh at me every time i fucking breathe idk, but the school still thinks putting me in a classroom with kids that visibly hate me and see me as a CRINGE ENTERTAINMENT IRONY MACHINE is like a good idea? and a good way for me to make friends? i dont know if its my luck or if they’re deliberately doing it, but, next term for example i have drama and cooking as classes. two of my friends also have cooking ....but they dont have me in their class. they’re together. but im not in their class. im on my own because other than them and the girl who already did cooking these past two terms (so she cant do it next term) i have.... no other friends. so im definitely in a class of complete strangers! and the way they have this school, you have no choice but to work with someone else in a cooking class...... you are paired with someone in the same mini kitchen and its a disaster but i digress.

also, like. school goes for 6 hours. by the time you get home and get changed and get settled, its sunset so you can’t go out and do anything. you can’t go to the park or climb a tree. youre stuck inside. your family is like groggy from work or whatever and doesnt want to talk to you. you have no energy to get online and talk to your friends online. or theyre asleep. so basically at least for me i get... no time to actually talk to my friends, for example i havent had an actual conversation with piper in like... two months i swear. we’ve forgotten how to talk to eachother and that actually goes with all of my friends. by the weekend we’re still awkward because we havent spoken in months so we can’t really even talk. and because of this rigid like, routine you have to have to actually be able to go to school at all (wake up 7. eat. get dressed. go to school. come home. get changed. eat. shower. go to bed. repeat), i actually like.... find myself. forgetting Everything. i dont know what it is about strict routine where i cannot be myself (my school has a strict and ugly uniform), but it makes me ... completely forget everything slowly and my memory decays. my time blindness gets worse to the point where i dont know what month it is on a regular basis and like... i ditch a lot? because of this? maybe if the schedule didnt make me dissociate and forget everything i wouldnt ditch constantly and like. actually go to school. but like my attendance is... im not at school 25% of the time because i physically cannot go every single day and attend to that rigid and exact cycle that doesnt even teach me anything

doesnt even teach me anything? i dont ... learn anything from school. they like. reteach the same meaningless part of a subject every single year. every year in religious studies in october i learn about the rosary and we spend a lot of the period praying the rosary and i like. ok. cool. its a religious school yeah but what am i actually learning from this. and every year in social studies we learn abt the waitangi treaty but the way they teach it is so whitewashed and utopian and its fucked and they teach it the same way every year around the same time. and anzac day. and in math im not going to use any of those skills you teach me, i dont care about algebra or anything because thats not really going to actually help me in my life im an artist for fucks sake teach me about managing my own finances! teach me how to do taxes! teach me how to function in the society i live in! teach me the important things that ill sink under or die without knowing i want to actually know important things but by cramming so many unimportant things in my brain all the time i forget the actual important things, i fucking failed basic addition and subtraction last year, i’ve forgotten division and multiplication past the 10 times table, but i can vaguely read an algebra equasion BUT FUCKING ALGEBRA EQUASIONS WILL NEVER UFCKING GET ME ANYWJERE!!!!! and it makes me so fucking angry i want to learn and function and KNOW

and the way they tightly bundle everyone to being one conforming individual who dresses like everyone else, is at the same intelligence level as everyone else, is a catholic like everyone else, does not question authority as everyone else or does not question themselves like everyone else or think like anyone else OR BE DIFFERENT THAN ANYONE ELSE makes me want to FUCKING THROW UP. there are so many hopes and dreams that i remember watching from primary school to now sink into a hopeless pit of stereotypes and basic conformity, people who used to be nice are suffocated into being horrible people so that theyre liked by their peers or get anny attention from the school at all, guys who used to respect women (god forbid) suddenly becoming horrible to anyone of any slightly different gender identity but you can actually see on their face how weird it is to them, waves of 11-14 year olds getting nose studs that get infected and they’re forced to have them taken out by the school, kids trying to do their makeup to look like SOMEONE to BE AT ALL DIFFERENT FROM ANYONE ELSE are put right back in their place and told to take it all off and their parents are called and if youre caught with the wrong jacket your parents are called and youre told youre too poor to wear what the school provides yet THEY DONT EVEN LET YOU WEAR WHAT THE SCHOOL PROVIDES WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS 70 DOLLAR HOODIE FOR WHEN YOU WONT LET ME WEAR IT WHILE IM SHIVERING I DONT SEE THE POINT OF ENFORCING SUCH TIGHT POINTLESS SMALL BOUNDARIES OF WHAT A PERSON CAN BE WHY IS IT SO LIMITED? are we not allowed to do anything? you cant even have one strip of hair dye yet a teacher can have a full head of bright purple hair what’s that about? you can have antisemetic pins on your senior year blazer jacket but the second you put a pride pin on there youre called to the principals office and asked why youre promoting this to kids

you try a speech on trans rights and they dont even pass you and pretend its because you got over the time limit but you didnt, you timed it yourself for your friends you didnt get over the time limit and you know it but you didnt even place in fourth you placed last out of 6 or 8 and you wonder why that is because every year in the past you soared into first so whats that about???? in my speech i said be yourself and dont be afraid to experiment with your gender lightly and they told me to take it out because its seen as too much and i said what the fuck? that’s the most important part of my speech, i want to promote acceptance in others and the self and they said take it out or you cant present your speech. they actively suffocate any sort of self expression or nonconformity of any sort you have to be a plain cookiecutter boy or girl and thats it you cannot be anything else, for nearly 6 months theyve fought me and my mom about my hair but if anyones being hurt by it its me because it draws more attention to the kid you can call slurs, are you hurt because im actually expressing myself? are you hurt by my little sharp stud earrings and my industrial piercing and the embroidered cuff on my shirt? are you offended by the heart on my belt or the platforms on my school shoes because the last time i checked none of these were illegal things to have at school

this kind  of got a lot angrier than i meant to make it but ive been . really angry abt this for the past year idk. i really just wanted to write this because i ahvent spoken to piper properly in months and the way we talk now seems like when we just met but i cannot carry a conversation anymore because school knocked the wind out of me all over again and the sudden inability to talk to any of my friends online makes me want to scream until my lungs give out im so tired

[mistymark]

nct dream as classmates

renjun

carries like 346342 things in his pencil case

is constantly drawing in his notebook and textbooks

leans over to doodle in the margins of your pages

his notes are really messy tho

rolls his eyes at ur much neater, more aesthetically pleasing notes

but is always willing to give u coloured pens and pencils to keep to a colour theme

is probably shocked to find out he's top of the class and thinks its a joke

but boy is just smart af

but all his word documents are titled like ‘redox fucking reactions’ ‘what the fuck is a chloroplast’ ‘??????????’

sends u all his notes tho

texts u at midnight all the time for no fuckin reason

it always starts with ‘yo are u still awake’

and ur like ‘yeah whats up’

and then he’ll respond with the most RANDOM shit

like what goes through that boys head

‘do u think I should use yellow or orange for the next part of my project’

‘idk send me a photo’

‘no just pick’

‘uh yellow’

‘im gonna go with blue’

either rocks up to classes looking like a god or an absolute mess theres no in between

marches through the halls with his hair a mess and doesnt give a shit

lowkey terrifies the younger students lmao

but will help them out if they ask for it

jeno

good student

studies enough but doesnt stress that much

he's just here for a good time

throws snacks at u when u frown at ur work until u look up at him and smile

lowkey worried about ur mental health

that shy kid that everyone expects to be average at all his subjects but u catch a glance of his tests and theyre all A+

owns a planner

uses it

what

I know

keeps track of a lot of school events bc he has a lot of extra curriculars

tries to get u to join more

(no)

probably knows ur schedule better than u do

‘hey jeno what do u have next’

‘calculus’

‘...’

‘that means you have chemistry’

ur always yelling at him through the halls like ‘OI JENO WHERE U GOING’ to try and find out what subject u have next

walks u to classes even if theyre in the completely wrong direction to his own

you really only have study hall together

but u had a lot of classes in common last year and ur habits of studying together just carried through I guess

has really good fashion sense 

lowkey dresses like a fuckboi

donghyuck

sometimes you just wanna punch him in the face tbh

‘hey y/n can I borrow a pencil?’

‘do u have spare paper?’

‘can we share ur textbook’

but ofc u love him sm and he's ur study buddy

studying together mainly ends up with him lying on ur bed throwing a ball up in the air while u sit at ur desk and actually study

is so willing to quiz you with ur flashcards tho

beams so hard when u get something write while he's quizzing u

claims he’ll treat u to coffee afterwards but never does lmao

makes up songs and rhymes to help him remember formulas and equations

recites the quadratic formula song whenever u mention math (even if it has nothing to do with what ur learning)

always suggests going to cafes and parks and stuff to study then spends the entire time doing the opposite of studying

‘come onnn y/n u need to relax a bit’

texts u in the morning to ask u to bring him a spare calculator or something for a test bc he forgot his

claims u to be his life saver

probably has ur contact in his phone as ‘lifeline’ or something equally cheesy

really appreciates u tho

jaemin

literally the #1 study buddy

brings heaps of snacks whenever u study together

when its late he’ll text u and tell u to go to sleep

has every single study tip crammed into his head and regurgitates them all whenever u complain about having to study

furrows his brows when u say u didn't get enough sleep but doesnt say anything

he's probably popular af

flirts with the teachers and laughs when u elbow him to stop

soooo well known ?? like even people at other schools know him ??

has aesthetic notes tho

probably has his own studygram

wears soft sweaters to classes

literally just looks like he has his life in order

gets one bad grade and studies his butt off to improve

‘life is all about improving y/n we cant all be amazing at everything straight away’

keeps u sane tbh

like literally how has he not had a mental breakdown yet its the middle of the year

youve had four just this week

‘do u want me to bring u coffee this morning?’

chenle

studies with u all the time

but he doesnt actually study

he's just waiting for u to finish so u can go catch a movie or go out to eat

stays up late playing video games

*sips coffee* “I havent slept in six days”

doesnt even like the taste of coffee

all the teachers love him tho

like he's playful and cheery but is super respectful too

he's just really good w adults ?

sends u texts during class and u wonder how he hasn't been caught

probably has never had a detention

but has been close to getting one 1289823 times

that kid that carries around one 5-subject notebook and two pens and thats literally it

brings his own lunch but trades it for jisung’s lunchables

sneaks food off ur plate all the time in the cafeteria

smiles at everyone in the hallway

offers u a ride home as much as he can

or he catches the bus with you

and shares his headphones with u

jisung

probably that kid that takes aggressive notes in the back of the class

tells u to shut up during class (and its not so he can focus lmao)

tries to get all his work done in class so he has no homework

groans whenever the teacher gives u activities

makes a face whenever a new slide pops up on the board

lots of question marks in his notes

‘to find the derivative of an exponential, it stays the same?’

‘aerobic respiration occurs in three stages: ????, the Krebs cycle and the electron transport chain’

invites u over to play video games the night before a big test

‘its self care’

shut up jisung we all know u just need an excuse to hang out

the teachers convince him to sign up to be a tutor

makes u come to all his tutoring sessions

you go out to eat afterwards

and just chill on a park bench and eat food truck food until its getting late

offers u his jacket on the walk home

has really red cheeks that are ‘from the cold’

theyre not

[aryasbadbenergy]

a little gendrya oneshot

there is a better edited version here:

(but i won’t stop u from reading this lol i just didn’t really like the ending on this one)

Arya had fallen asleep only an hour ago, but Gendry felt like he had laid there for forever. He didn’t want to leave her while she slept, but first light would come soon, and Gendry could not be caught in the Princess’s bed. Her leg lays across his stomach, and every time she moves, the smooth inside of her thigh slides across his hip. Her body bare except for the thin linen that drapes across their hips. Her head is on his arm, but most of her body rests on his side, and presses her breasts against his ribs. She shifts again, and her leg ventures lower.

Her body had small scars all over, but the insides of her thighs were soft. The outsides were just as scarred as the rest of her body. He mindlessly rubbed his hand on her back, and felt some of her scars from the House of Black and White. Her arms had healed cuts from various things, but he loved the mark on her face the most. She had fallen out of a tree as a child, and split her lip open, leaving a faint scar that led up to her nostril. He tries not to despise the scars that mark her stomach, but it’s hard. She says they’re ugly, and he knows she’s self-conscious of them every time she removes her clothes for him, so he’s sure to hide the fury he feels when he sees them. They could have killed her. They almost did. Unlike the scars that littered her body to teach her lessons for losing her balance while climbing a tree or not paying close enough attention to the end of a blade while fighting. But the scars on her belly only showed that she had failed to obey an order to kill someone underserving of death. She murmurs something to Gendry and he doesn’t know if she’s waking or sleep talking. She slides her leg across his stomach, resting it just below his belly button. Her hair, which she still keeps short (albeit neatly cut to reach her shoulders) had tangled from the early events of this morning and fell across her face. A chunk stuck to the corner of her mouth and moves a little which each breath she withdraws. Gendry smiles softly and brushes it away from her face. She hums in response, finally stirring from her sleep. She opens her eyes and huffs a little.

“Morning, already?” She mumbles, and he smiles again at her sleepy state.

“You can sleep for a while longer, I need to get back to the forge,” he whispers, trying not to rouse her too much.

“Have you slept?” She asks, shutting her eyes again and snuggling her face against Gendry’s neck.

“No, I was going to sleep for a little while at the forge before everyone wakes up,” he says, and he knows she’s probably rolling her eyes at him under his chin. The war against the Night King had ended, but Cersei Lannister still wanted Jon and Daenerys’s heads on spikes for trying to rebel against her claim to the throne. And they needed weapons to win.

“Why don’t you just sleep here?”

“And have the King in the North and his wolf catch me? I think not, m’lady.” She groans in response to the nickname. “Oh, right, my apologies, Your Grace,” he teases and she shoves his chest.

“I’m not the princess, stupid. Sansa is.”

“Last I checked, having a brother for a King makes you a princess.”

“How many princesses do you know of that invite men into their beds,” she snaps, and he lets out a small chuckle.

“Men? I hope you don’t mean more than me,” he teases and she smiles against his throat. She hums. “Well?”

“Oops, you weren’t supposed to know about my many lovers.”

“Well now that you’ve told me they exist, I have to know who I’m fighting for your affections.”

“Let’s see,” she leans up from her spot and rests her head on her hand. “There’s Podrick... Samwell... my brother’s wife Meera...”

“Bronn?”

“Him, too,” she jests. “And Jaime Lannister.”

“I must say, Your Grace, you are quite the little scoundrel of Winterfell.”

“Someone had to be,” she gives him a smile, one that was reserved for him in private. When she trained in Braavos she learned to hide her emotions, but the only one that she couldn’t control around Gendry was love.

Gendry leans forward and gives her a chaste kiss. She tries to draw him in, but he knows he needs to leave her chamber soon. She kisses him again, and pushes her leg across his stomach down lower, but he catches her thigh with one of his hands.

“I have to go,” he says.

She wraps an arm protectively around his shoulder and moves to lay over top of him, trapping him. “No.”

“Arya, I could use one finger to push you off and leave if I really wanted to,” he says, but makes no move to leave.

“Then why haven’t you?” She asks as she sits up and leans her body from left to right to straddle him. She raises her eyebrow at him, waiting for his response.

“Because I don’t want to. I need to, though,” he says, with a huff. But as Arya moves and pants over top of him, he finds it’s hard to remember why he needs to be anywhere but with her.

-

Gendry wakes up later, as light glares through Arya’s window. “Shit!” He gasps, and tries to gather his small clothes. Arya sits up and looks at him, a small blush coating her cheeks.

“You’re still here?”

“We fell asleep,” he says, trying to keep his voice down, knowing sounds carry and people whisper. “I need to leave before anyone sees me in here.”

“Right,” Arya says, and hands him his discarded breeches by the edge of her bed. Gendry pulls them on, and tries to tie all of his clothes back together neatly. He finishes dressing and laces his boots up. “It doesn’t look much later than first light, if you leave know you can probably make it out of this wing so you don’t look suspicious.” He quickly nods and walks over to Arya. He plants a small kiss on her forehead and she shoves him lightly. “Go,” she prods and he smiles at her.

He makes it out into the hallway with only a small creak from the door. He gently shuts it after looking to make sure no one is roaming the corridor. He creeps towards one of the castles many exits, but before he has the chance to hide, the King and the Princess round the corner.

“Gendry?” Jon asks, with a perplexed look on his face.

“Your Grace,” Gendry responds, falling into a kneel. Jon motions for him to stand up and Sansa wears the same look on her face.

“What brought you to the Princess’s chambers this early in the morning?” Jon asks, but Gendry knows Jon already has the answer.

“The Princess’s sword needed mending, Your Grace. She asked me to take a look at it,” Gendry lies.

“At first light? Surely you had more pressing matters to attend,” The King snaps and he stomps towards Arya’s door. He pulls it open and Arya clutches the linens to her naked chest.

“Jon! Do you knock?” Arya shouts, as Gendry accepts that he’s going to die today. Sansa grimaces and Jon steps towards Gendry.

Jon grabs Gendry’s arm and starts to walk him away from Arya’s chamber. “Sword mending,” he grumbles to himself. Sansa shuts Arya’s door and rushes behind Jon and Gendry.

“Jon,” she says, but he doesn’t respond. Gendry keeps pace with Jon and can only hope that Ghost’s whereabouts are unbeknownst to Jon. “Jon!” Sansa snaps, and Jon stops to turn around to look at Sansa.

“Sansa!” Jon responds.

“Jon, you’re making a scene. You need to calm down,” she hisses, lowering her voice. Arya emerges from her chamber, dressed in breeches and a half-tied jerkin. Her hair remains tangled, and she rushes towards the group.

“Jon, please,” Arya begs, “Can we talk about this? Not here.”

Jon finally lets his iron-like grip on Gendry go, and nods. “Fine.”

Jon doesn’t give anyone time to respond as he starts walking again. Sansa and Arya follow him, and Gendry trails behind the three, praying to every God he knows.

They end up in Jon’s solar, and Gendry sits directly across from him, extremely focused on his hands. “Do you want to explain to me why you were in my little sister’s chamber this morning?” Jon asks, looking as angry as any King Gendry had heard about.

“I needed to mend her sword, Your Grace.”

Jon’s glower tells Gendry he didn’t give him the correct response. “I fell asleep, Your Grace.”

“We were being improper,” Arya grumbles, giving her brother an eye roll.

“I know that,” Jon hisses. “I wanted Gendry to tell me.”

“Why?” Arya snaps. “Are you going to castrate him?” She agitates, and Gendry silently curses her for giving Jon the idea.

“I’ve considered it!” Gendry moves his hand to protect his manhood. He would sooner set himself on fire than be castrated.

“Jon, be reasonable, please,” Sansa says, and Gendry is thankful for her for being the only calm Stark in this situation.

“Be reasonable? One of my trusted friends has been... has been...” he shakes his hands in Gendry and Arya’s direction.

“If I remember correctly, Arya and Gendry were friends for much longer than you and Gendry. Unless you were planning on selling Arya in a marriage alliance, it does not really matter what our sister does in private.”

Jon ran his hands through his curls. “If you had asked me, I would’ve allowed you to marry,” Jon announces, unexpectedly. Gendry perks up at the King’s words. “Now that you have...” Jon doesn’t finish his statement. “You should marry. I won’t force you, Arya, but if you respect me or Gendry, you will not refuse his hand and bear his bastard.”

“I’m only a bastard, Your Grace. I can’t give the child a bastard’s name.”

“You are the late King Robert’s bastard. I only need to sign a paper, and you could have a last name to give your child.”

Gendry turns to look at Arya, not wanting to respond without her approval. “What are you waiting for, stupid? Are you going to give me your name or not?” She says, with a small smile on her face. Arya always expressed her disgust of marrying as a child, but they rarely spoke of her having to marry as adults. Gendry nods and turns back to Jon.

“Don’t think that I’ll forgive you for this easily, Gendry,” Jon huffs, and reaches for a blank piece of parchment.

“King Robert had always wanted a Stark-Baratheon marriage,” Sansa muses, and gives Arya a small smile.

(this is highly unedited, and it’s also the first gendrya thing ive ever published EVER please be nice i’m sensitive lol)

[cactusbaseball]

i was tagged by @choking-onholywater thank you, and so sorry this took so lo g for me to do!

1. are you named after anyone? For my first name, no, but my middle name is my mom’s maiden name.  Does that count? Or is that just like the same thing as a family name?

2. when was the last time you cried? I dont really remember...I feel like I cried hard recently but don’t remember when. I started tearing up in the radio booth yesterday while playing a pretty song but I didn’t fully cry (the song was literally main street by cataldo)

3. do you have kids? No im only 19 haha. I honestly have no diea whether or not I want kids, i love kids but dont know if i could handle motherhood. Id def want to adopt and would probably wait until i was in my late 40s and/or until i had a partner to raise kids with

4. do you use sarcasm a lot? i dont think so, i use it sometimes but its not like a thing I make a habit of doing

5. what’s the first thing you notice about people? This probably sounds shallow but usually physical appearance, not like whether or not i find them attractive but like how they dress and present themselves bc I feel like that can say a lot about a person. But i feel like this is kinda judgy and stereotype-y of me so I try to not base my opinion of someone on this

6. what’s your eye color? hazel

7. scary movie or happy ending? I like both but happy ending! When it comes down to it i prefer fictionto be positive as an escape from the hell that is the real world

8. any special talents? uh i can tap dance, I can almost do the splits, i used to be a ballerina so i could probably do like 10 fuettes in a row if pressed

9. where were you born? Oxford, England

10. what are your hobbies? playing guitar, singing, a bit of songwriting, creative writing, drawing, and dancing (but i havent gotten a chance to dance in a while)

11. do you have any pets? No, im in college and moving around a lot so i cant really have pets :/

12. what sports have you played? I did dance for 13 years (yes i count that as a sport bc its pysically demanding, team oriented, and competitive) and i did soccer for a year when i was 7 but sucked at it. I also did swimming during the summers as a kid but that was mostly just to learn how to swim i didn’t like compete or anything

13. how tall are you? about 5′3′’ 

14. favorite subject in school? i guess sceince bc im a scientist, but when i was in high school all the science teachers kinda sucked so i didnt love those classes.  I loved math and english classes though, and lowkey wish i still had to take english every year in college bc i just fucking miss doing fun english stuff like Shakespeare skits 

15. dream job? guiarist/singer in a punk rock band. However that will very likely not happen so i guess my actual ideal job would be an astronomer or an ecologist 

I tag @acidbatz @thotfrnk @jumpingbeanstalk @thepunkvampire @karasunohh and anyone else who wants to do it

[faunusrights]

OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTERS 10 + 11

we had a week of peace and now we’re gonna get annihilated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have no clue how long this liveblog may end up but hell and high water i’m combining them both

she tore the jade pendant from her neck and flung it into the darkness.

let’s give a warm welcome, to sadness,

i’m very excited for all-new cinder content hhhhhhh if u havent gathered by now I Love This Bitch and I Love Her Many Problems so im thankful for this gift 😞

Cinder was a ruin, her pride carved and served like slabs of meat.

i can FEEL diesel n kc rly patting themselves on the back for every bit of wet meat they can toss at me!!!!!!!!!! U HEAR THAT I CAN FEEL U!!!!!!!!!!! but also i still love this shit w/ all my heart!!!!!!!!!! IM NEVER GONNA STOP SAYIN IT

She had never looked at Glynda’s files.

im so sorry cinder baby but that whole thing? is still HILARIOUS oh my GOD i cannot believe you fucked up that badly. u shoved yr entire head into a beartrap. u absolutely crapped yr pants on that one. yr gonna be thinking abt that on yr deathbed,

/looks at the chapter title again

hhhhhhhh im. so pumped. its gonna be hard to talk abt most of this w/o doing a million fingerguns a minute but i’m gonna try my best

Cinder approached the mirror and touched its silvered face with black-tipped claws,

I SAID IM GONNA TRY MY BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She was iron barbs beneath the nail bed, glowing coals underfoot, the singular capacity to do harm. She was a beast, armed with fang and claw and a deep, dark void where her compassion should have laid, and she was dressed for dinner.

HHHHHH god YES THIS IS THE CINDER IM THIRSTY FOR............ i literally cannot say anything that isnt a massive 👈😎👈 but AAAAAAA

like im reading thru this and i cant cherry-pick lines this whole bit? is SO GOOD...  kc n diesel are Yet Again obliterating me w/ their mastery of the narrative style of offal hunt and i just love all of this i rly wish i could explain how offal hunt is EXACTLY MY BRAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! F U C K

The final touch on her mastercraft disaster: the four sawed-off horn stumps which grew among her silver-streaked hair.

HOOOO B O I i am. Losin it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE HER HORNS.......... CINDR...............

Wretchedly, she wondered: did Glynda even respect her now?

any other villain: my plan didnt work and im mad >:( cinder fall: my plan didnt work and now im mad but also mostly sad :(

CINDER’S TRYING HER BEST GOD.......... i literally hate how the remaster has made her So Soft, Actually... I BELIEVE IN U CINDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE U!!!!!!!!!!!!! DO YR BEST

Every part of her was hot and hollow. She was sick with loathing.

i LOVE HER.... CINDER I HOPE U KNO THAT YR LOVED... god tho i dont like how SAD I AM RN... cinder’s so small and the world is so big and wants 2 Shit On Her blease

honestly like. im rly- LOOK I SAID THIS BEFORE BUT. this is why im rly lovin the new cinder content because in the first version we only got glimpses of her internal machinations and now we’re in full-blown Always Sad territory and everything is suffering :)

She blinked. Her double did not.

‘well’, thought murphy. ‘that’s terrifying.’

she’d only survived thanks to a keen instinct for danger, cultivated during her tenuous teenage years.

i NEED. I NEED. CINDER BACKSTORY. all these lil nuggets dont constitute a meal! I WANT A BIG MAC AND FRIES. WHAT THE HELL WAS THIS BABY DOING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

also again. the body horror of offal hunt? peak content. Im Lovin It

its getting harder to divine what is and what is not a 👈😎👈 because we got bits sprinkled around and theres only rly a spoiler potential if u glue em all together so im still being extra careful and the answer is blared in everyones faces so this whole kondor scene will go uncommented unless some Bullshit Happens which it will, so,

When she had become so invested in Glynda’s approval? When had a desire to be recognized as something inhuman, something ferocious, something black and terrible and capable of keeping up with Glynda Fucking Goodwitch turned into this?

oh! oh! i have the answer! i do! i know the answer! it’s you a lesbian,

The spectres of her youth haunted this city, owl-eyed children and fox-eared teens. They’d been a second sort of family, the only kind she’d had within these walls, and she’d wondered what had become of them in the past decades, but…

It was too sentimental, and she wasn’t meant to be a creature of sentiment.

oh boy okay wow

okay so actually this bit made me cry??? fuck OFF im losing it!!!!!!!! LET HER BE SENTIMENTAL!!!! LET HER HAVE PPL TO CARE ABT!!!!!!!!!! IM LITERALLY CRYING IM GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!!

She would go barefoot from this point on, her heels clutched at her side. When she left the hotel room to steal into the night, she promised herself not to look back.

im sorry im just. so sad rn. i havent cried over a fic in YEARS and we still have another chapter ago i hate this SO MUCH..............

here comes chapter 11 

if i cry even once more im going to stab!!!!!! im not sure what BUT ILL STAB!!!!!!!!!!!!

Even without his wings, the Manticore would easily have been twice the size of any of the other Grimm, far outstripping them in sheer bulk.

HATI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HATI HATI HATI

holy shit we actually get to see him this time!!!!!!!!!!! WE GET TO SEE THIS LEGENDARY BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS CHONCC,

also hes a manticore now which is, Radical, may i just say, and just a little bit sexy,

The effortless grace in each move betrayed power most Grimm would not live to achieve. Once he stood, he had to dip his head low to meet her eye to eye. His canines were the length of her forearm.

if u werent here for the remaster? we never even SAW hati but now hes here, hes Big, and rly thats all that matters,

Like a child who’d been allowed to lie and lie until at last they’d strangled themself in the web they’d spun, Cinder couldn’t speak. Could only wait on his verdict.

every single one of cinder’s inherent themes is killing me and this business w/ family? stop. im dying. this is rude

The scant space between them popped and cracked like an sparking flame, warm and effervescent, and this time, Cinder lingered, hugging Hati close.

IF I CRY ONCE MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I MEAN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IF U ASSHOLES MAKE ME CRY ONCE MORE I WILL DOXX YOU,

aaaaaaaaaaaaaah im loving this content i rly dont have words for it dhjfgsdfgjh i just, rly like the words, and the order theyre in, and i honestly keep forgetting to liveblog it cause i just wanna READ EM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tempting as it was—as it always had been, ever since she’d left the relative safety of the wastes and learned what happened to scraggly-limbed teens with horns and fangs and gleaming eyes—

with every chapter i desperately have 2 kno more abt baby cinder i HAVE to know i am so. UNBEARABLY CURIOUS... baby cinder what happened... what happened 2 u....

A lantern’s glow warmed her, bleeding into the darkness leeching at them both. It was a gentle gold across her skin, and like an answering signal from a distant outpost, Cinder saw a flush of light through the dark fur lining Hati’s throat, as though flames licked at his insides.

i forgot. that cinder glows like that when she feels Loved or full of pride and you know what i dont like these chapters. they were made to hurt me and i Dont Like That (im mclovin it)

From the safety of Hati’s neck, she found it easier—after all this time, he was still her bastion.

WHEN YOU REALISE? THAT YR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES?? STOP,

For a regular person, the machine would be able to draw out short bursts of power, the likes of which no Semblance could ever channel. The taxation would eventually destroy the soul so deeply, so thoroughly, as to leave it empty for good.

For a Witch? For—

the fact. she cut herself off before she could think ‘for glynda’. has me on the FLOOR. this bit is just So Much i dont like it

Glynda Goodwitch would not abandon this hunt. Cinder knew it, had read it from her palms like an open book—Glynda Goodwitch did not know how to stop. If it had been anyone else on Remnant, they might never return, might never pull themselves back into action after today—but Glynda did not have a shred of self-preservation.

me, knocking against cinder’s head: u kno for someone w/ so many schemes in yr brain yr pretty dumb and gay, huh,

firstly let’s talk abt cinder’s “””””””””””””””””””self-preservation””””””””””””””””””” instin-- whats that? not found? yes

[Glynda’s] eyes were empty, hungry, insatiable.

i feel like ive read this line before! lets jump back a chapter--

In [Cinder’s] eyes, there was a subtle, endless hunger.

WAKE UP CINDER SHE’S YR SOULMATE!!!!!!!!!!! THE COFFEE’S READY U CAN SMELL THE BACON FROM HERE WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

With a fluid leap, they were in the air, the ground quickly shrinking beneath them. Pressing her face against his neck to shield herself from the wind, she closed her eyes and prepared herself for what was to come, trusting Hati to deliver her safely.

that said i ADORE my boy hati is literally the best part of offal hunt kc and diesel do not interact,

He was frozen in horrific anticipation, like watching an imminent tragedy and being absolutely helpless to stop it. Like all the tension was mixed with grief and hopeless, futile fear.

when will offal hunt be nice to me. when will any of these characters get to be happy. hello. im full of sadness.

The sound was like a saw working back and forth, but resonating inside her head, rattling every tooth in her jaw, deafening to her ears.

im literally gritting my teeth at this i can hear it in my own head and its Very Bad!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

okay god i can barely handle to quote anything more this bit is hurting ME so lets swiftly move on before I Die

Cinder closed her weary eyes, sinking into sleep like a shallow grave.

BE NICE TO HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BE NICE TO HER JUST THIS ONCE, PLEASE, IM BEGGING YOU,

They only knew death, only ever sought death; fangs and claws slicked with blood, magic rending meat and marrow apart, and everywhere that choking, scalding heat, spilled blood like magma, like the core of a planet.

hmm... that seems like a 👈😎👈 ~reference~

They were all alert, ears pricked, hackles raised like Hati’s. They all fixed on the same spot, somewhere beyond the darkness of the cave opening, and though she could barely think, she knew:

She was out of time. The Witch was here.

oh no.

okay so THATS CHAPTERS 10 AND 11! i only cried ONCE and u kno what thats. a Victory. these two chapters were VERY GOOD i rly loved em and i can tell new readers r gonna have a blast w/ this shit!!!!!!!!!! meanwhile i, a veteran reader, am full of peril,

terrible.

[fatrainbowmermaidunicorn]

Art Class (Jungkook x You ONESHOT)

A/N: Thankyou for this fantastic request but unfortunately no, I dont do full on smut, not because I'm against it or anything but I just think I'm not that good at it yet. But I  tried make it as  sexy as I can, I hope you will enjoy this story that I have come up with nevertheless <3 and sorry its not that long, 3k words.

Implied smut/light smut? (Is there such things as light smut?)

MASTERLIST

"Your project for this term is Precious. You will need to draw and paint something precious to you, focusing solely on the item. I want to see how you highlight this precious item of yours, how you are going to make it stand out from an unique background," The art professor explain as she hands out their project brief. Jungkook read the paper given and huffed, his mind spinning trying to find the perfect inspiration on what to do.

The project boggled his mind for the whole day, even as he slumped down on the couch next to his roomate, the one and only Kim Taehyung who is watching a movie while stuffing his face with popcorn.

"What's with you?" He eyed Jungkook. "I swear Kook, you are the most stressed out art student I have ever met,"

"We have a new project,"

"And?"

"I cant seem to think of anything. Nothing. Not even one inspiration comes to mind. It counts for almost 50 percent of my grade this semester. I'm screwed if I dont ace it," he whined. Taehyung turned his body to face him.

"Okay, tell me what its about. I'm sure me and my absolutely great mind will be able to help you," he grins. Despite not believing that Taehyung could ever help him, Jungkook still explain the project brief to his hyung. Taehyung nodded and his brows crased as he thought hard.

"I dont know Tae. Everybody is doing the same thing. Placing their precious item on a blank wall, a green grass, a wooden plank... its all so typical. I need something else to make my work popped up from the rest," Taehyung look at the disgruntled maknae and finally an idea spark his mind.

"I have an idea, but I dont think either you or Y/N would like it," he smirked.

"Y/N? What does my girlfriend has to do with this?" Jungkook raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, your girlfriend has everything to do with it," Taehyung wiggled his eyebrows. Taehyung is always mischievious, his idea always makes one of them end up in a very very bad situation. What is his hyung up to now? "Do you want to hear it or not?" Taehyung rolled his eyes at the reluctant younger male.

"Fine. Just tell me. What is it?" Jungkook huffed. He got nothing to lose if he listen to Taehyung's crazy ideas anyway, so he might as well jist hear it. Maybe it could spark some inspiration for him.

Taehyung grinned, his smile widen as his eyes twinkled. Jungkook already had a bad feeling about this, and what comes out from Taehyung's mouth next proves that he is right. "Do you still remember what you learned last semester?"

/////

Jungkook ran his hand all over his face for the millionth time, thinking about how he is supposed to even ask you for this favor. Even just the simple thought of you is already enough to make him restless all night, how is he going to proceed with Taehyung's idea?

You and him has been dating for more than six months now. Your relationship is great. You two are in love, and Jungkook is an amazing boyfriend, but the two of you havent done anything more other than some intense makeout session and some slight groping here and there whenever you two spend the night with each other. You had wanted more since the first moment you saw him, but just your luck, your boyfriend is a total gentleman who believes in romantic gestures and waiting for the right time. His intention is sweet but really, you are so in love with him you are willing to give him everything if he just asks of you.

"Hey baby," he leaned in to kiss you as you plopped down on his bed, putting your bag and books on his table, kissing him back. God, you just cant get enough of him.

"Hi Kookie. So what's up?" You smiled at him. He had invited you to his room, saying he has a favor to ask you. Something to do with his art class. Jungkook is an art major, and he has an incrdible talent in drawing and painting too. But like every other great artists out there, sometimes he rans out of inspiration and calls you up to help him. The two of you would go out and talk about everything, just so he can find something that might spark his interest again. You look at your boyfriend who is nervously fiddling with his hands. Weird, he was never this nervous when talking about art.

"I... I need you to help me model for my art class," he stuttered, but you still find him absolutely adorable.

"I know Kookie. You told me that," you giggled. Why is he so nervous? This is not the first time you have model for him for his classes. "So... what can I help you with? What's the theme?"

"Precious. We are supposed to draw something that is precious to us, but with a unique background. The professor wants to see how we can turn the focus of drawing on the item instead of the background," he explained, voice still has a hint of nervousness.

"Oh, interesting," you smile. "I'm sure you have some interesting ideas Kookie. So what's your item?" Jungkook went over his table and took out an expensive jewellery box, making you even more curious.

"This belongs to my late mother. And I have always keeps it with me," He took out a huge necklace with a blue sapphire diamond heart in the middle of it. Your eyes widen, its the most beautiful thing you have ever seen.

"So you want me to wear this and pose for you?" You held the beautiful necklace between your fingers, examining how it shines between your skin.

"Ye...yes," he fumbled looking at you. You looked back at him, confused to as why he is nervous. Wearing a necklace and pose, nothing big right?

"Okay. Seems easy enough," you smile. "I can easily do that,"

"But... I dont only want you to wear the necklace," Jungkook gulp, hands fiddling with the necklace, as if trying to find some courage, before continuing. You raised an eyebrow questioningly at him. What does he means? "I want you to wear only the necklace..."

Your head immediately snapped around to look at him. Did you heard him correctly? Did he meant what you think he meant?

"Wh...what?"

"I want to draw you while you are wearing this. Only wearing this," he held up the necklace, voice more confident now as he stares into your eyes. You were silenced for a minute as you heard his request loud and clear. You can already feel something stirring at the lower part of your body as you imagined posing nude for him.

Posing nude for Jeon Jungkook.

"O..okay," you breathed out your agreement after pondering for a moment.

Jungkook's eyes widen at your answer. He thought you would slap him silly and never want to ever talk to him again, but instead, here you are, nervous and surprised, of course, but still, agreed.

"Okay?" He reconfirms, still not believing it.

"Yes Jungkook. Okay," you smile.

Jungkook felt his heart starts to beat faster and his palms turns sweaty  Drawing and painting a nude model during his last semester is already a huge problem for Jungkook. He was a nervous wreck the first time the life model took off her robe and stood in front of his class last semester. Sure, he is no innocent. He has been with his fair share of girls before,

But you?

Drawing a naked you?

How the hell is he supposed to survive that?

He is not sure how he is able to control himself when you are strip bare in front of him. He is not sure he can control anything with you standing in front of him.

He has the biggest crush on you for years before he found the courage and managed to finally call you as his own. And he had to calm himself down multiple times, sometimes even a long toilet break is needed whenever you spend the night with him, cuddling or after a long makeout session. Can he get out of this assignment alive? Should he just scrap the idea? He knew it, listening to Taehyung never did him any good.

You giggle when you noticed Jungkook's shocked expression and he dazed out. He immediately cleared his throat at the sound of your laugh and went to sit behind his easel.

"So... are we doing this now?" You asks, making Jungkook's face turned red like a tomato.

"Urm... yes. If you are up to it. Whenever you are ready," he tried to stay calm.

"Okay. Lets do it today then," you smile as he nodded.

You stood up slowly from his bed and start to slid the straps of your dress down your shoulders, slowly, almost teasingly. Jungkook's eyes never left you and you saw him take big gulps or air as he seems to have trouble breathing. You let your dress drop to the floor, revealing your almost bare body, only clad in your innocent white undergarments before you take the necklace and wear it, the diamond felt cold as it lay flat between the valley of your breasts, all the while eyes never leaving his. Jungkook's eyes roam down your body and you can see how hard he is gripping his pencil for some self restrain. You patted the necklace once you were done, your hands went behind your back and starts to undo you bra claspes, slowly sliding the straps of your shoulder, finally revealing you bare chest to Jungkook's prying eyes. You feel your heart beat increased under Jungkook's blazing stare, and you start to rub your thighs together, feeling yourself getting wetter and wetter.

Jungkook cant control his breathing any longer as he stares at your very naked chest. He feels like he is about to faint. He had spend many nights imagining how you would look like,  a gazzilion times maybe, but this... ypu standing bare in front of him, smiling at him with blushing cheeks... you are more beautiful than anything he could have ever imagined. If he feel like fainting the moment before, he is sure he is dying the moment you slid down you panties past your smooth long legs and slowly step out of it, leaving yourself fully bare to him. Jungkook's breath starts to staggered and he almost broke the pencil that he is holding too tightly when you purposely ran your hands down your body agonizingly slow and soft over your core, which is glistening with how wet you were, teasing him, eyes boring deep intp his dark ones. You finaly decide to stop teasing him and sat down on the bed, laying down across the mattress, spreading yourself a little, purposely letting him see all of you.

"How do you want me?" You asks, as if its the most normal question in the world and you are just posing for another one of his usual projects. Jungkook gulp, his mouth is dry, unable to answer. I want you under me. Is the only answer Jungkook can think about. You adjusted yourself on the bed when you received no response from your boyfriend who just continued staring at you, trying out different position and settled on one that you think is suitable. "Is this position okay?" You asks innocently, cocking your head to the side. Jungkook can see the wetness in your core as you spread for him even more, making him lick his bottom lip unconciously, which makes you let out a little giggle. You know exactly what you are doing to him and you like it. You just hope you will get what you want at the end of the day.

He avoided your gaze and try to calm himself down. This is an assigment Jungkook. An assignment. But when he tried to settle his eyes on you, you were already looking at him, eyes wide and biting your lower lip. You look so innocent but sinful at the same time, Jungkook feel like he is just about to burst. He can feel himself start to grow harder snd harder and he cursed himself for wearing such a thin sweatpants. You are surely going to notice his hardening erection at this rate.

And he is right. You did.

He adjusted himself on his stool and try focus on his drawing instead. Its an assignment Jungkook. An assignment!

"I'm going to start now," he announced, clearing his throat. You nodded silently as you lick you dry lower lip nervously, an action that didnt go unnoticed by Jungkook, making him groaned internally. Why is he putting himself through this torture?

Jungkook starts off from the top of your head and slowly move on to your face. He lightly sketches your face, capturing every crease, crook, contour and line of your features, silently praising how beautiful you are and how proud he is that you are his. His hands starts to shake as he move on to your neck, hands gracefully sketching the necklace, the supposed main focus of the painting, and your chest area. He nervousky gazed his eyes to the rest of you, which is in a laying down form, your eyes staring back at him when he flicked his eyes to your face, before continuing down your body.

Your chest.

Your naked chest.

His grip on his pencil tighten as he noticed how your nipples are getting harder, turning into hard nubs under the cold air and his intense gaze. It took everything in him to not just walked over to you capture one of the harden nubs into his mouth. He shakes his head, clearing the image out of his mind and continue sketching and drawing, trying his best to concerntrate when you suddenly let out an accidental moan when your leg hit the bed frame when you tried to readjust your position. At the sound of your moaning Jungkook lost all of his self restrain, the pencil in his grip broken from how hard he is holding it. He stood up suddenly, causinfmg the wooden stool he was sitting on fall down and marched towards you, eyes dark and blown.

"Jung... Jungkook? Are.. are you okay?"

"Dont act so innocent Y/N. You know exactly what you are doing to me. You know I am definitely not okay," he hissed before crashing his lips against yours, his body pining your naked one on the bed. Taken by surprised, your eyes widen as he kiss you before you realized the situation and start to kiss him back, suddenly very aware of how naked you are and how fully clothed Jungkook is when you feel his hands roaming all over your body. Every inch that his fingers grazed felt like it was on fire and you want nothing more than to feel his bare skin on yours.

"Can you feel this? This is what you do to me," He grind his clothed erection which is extremely hard by now, on your wet core, making you moan even louder. "Louder baby. Let me hear you," he coaxed, his hands quickly taking off his own suffocating clothing, presenting you with taut abs and muscle thighs that left you gapping as he leaned in to kiss along your neck and jawline, his fingers fiddling with the necklace while the other went down your body, stopping and touching where you wanted him the most, inserting a finger in.

"Look at you. So wet. You are supposed to help me with my assignment baby, not teasing me," he growled as his hands never stop touching and thrusting into you. You lost all your ability to spit out coherent words as his fingers continue their ministration, but struggle to say something to him as you realized he is waiting for an answer from you.

"I.. I am he... helping you," you answered back between pants and moans, the pleasure Jungkook's giving you starts to increased as he moved faster.

"Oh really? You are helping me? I should properly thank you then," he whispered as he bite an earlobe, he fingers that has been thrusting into you leaving your core, making you feel empty, but that only lasted for a second before he slid himself in you in one swift motion, without warning.

"Ahh, Jungkook..."

The two of you rolled off each other, sweaty and still panting from the extreme pleasure you just felt. Jungkook gave you a quick kiss on the lips and smile at you. "I love you Y/N. You know that right?"

You nodded shyly. "I love you too Jeon Jungkook,"

He pulled you closer to his sweaty chest and hug you tight, his fingers playing with the necklace. "This really suits you. You should wear it more often," he said making you smile. "But only this," he winked.

You blushed and buried your face in his chest. He tucked your head under his chin and kiss your hair as you hear him mumble.

"But I dont think my item will stand out more than the background though," he said while he loosen his hold and eyed your body up and down, making you blush even harder. You hide your face in the crook of his neck as he laugh at your adorable shyness.

"But still, for the first time in my life, I am so glad I listen to Tae-hyung's idea,"

[sundrenched-smilez]

odd numbers for the lesbian asks! (if it's too many just do every 4th one maybe?)

1. Femme or butch? 

for type, im vry easily wooed by butches tbh

as for myself, im genderfluid + heavily lean towards butch-ish for one gender + have been gettin more comf w that term for myself. the 3 genders i switch between, ive described as sharp, dainty and tired, for reason of not really being comf w gender labels aside from nonbinary. sharp/tired r kinda butchish, moreso sharp. like leather jackets, ripped jeans, dress pants/shirts, defs flannels (which r a given for any mood im in tbh) while tired is like mb softer, more focused on flannels + loose tank tops/shirts, shorts + certain skirts, comfy clothes, and the like   

ive found that i’m leaning more towards butch lately too, like i’ve been a lot more comfortable with pants and a nice top than i have w dresses or most skirts + im wondering if i was just hanging on to femininity for sake of society, so those r things 2 think abt. i still feel comf in them sometimes, but it’s getting much less often. gender’s weird, i still cant cling to one bc of how pressuring that is so genderfluidity is still smth for me + it shifting to different percentages is okay (im thinking out loud @ this point, but its helping so i hope its interesting to read)

3. Plaid button-ups or leather jackets?

both, but primarily flannels/plaid buttion-ups

5. Describe your aesthetic

aaahh theres a lot of diff aesthetics i could go into, but i have a tag if ur interested in a visual representation? basically, cosy homes, forests, wooden steps and bridges, cats, girls/nbs, water, plants, and old video game stuff, and clouds/skies. i’m sure there’s more in there, but for a good rule of thumb !! as for like dressing aesthetic, i like to look rly gay + attractive and a lil showy? like my shorts r Short and i love crop tops + a lot of my shirts show my bra thru them, + i like showing it when i can, like sports bra + a tank top is a fav look of mine bc i can make it look like my bra is a trim on the shirt + it’s cute. i’ve been wearing dresses less often, but occasionally, i like to rock one. id love a pair of combat boots but i have like size 11/12 feet + most stores dont carry that size + im hesitant to buy some online. 

7. Favorite pair of shoes?

its rly hard to find any, i have like walmart converse knockoffs atm + theyre a beige/grey color im not that huge on, it kinda reminds me of sandalwood but depressed

9. Any haircut goals for the future? 

there was the undercut!! and i have that down now c: next step is to dye it blue and mb some purple. i wanna bleach it if i’m gonna dye it, but im hesitant to do that bc of how damaging it is, but since my hair’s been cut a cpl time almost all the color is out now, so i think itll b ok if i take good care of it. 

11. Describe the worst date you’ve been on

i went to a cafe w someone (i think they were nb but i cant remember, it was like 2 yrs ago about ) and they were impossible to talk to bc they just kept saying “im awkward sorry” @ everything and like any conversations i tried to maintain were all one-shot responses, and like that was a lil frustrating. like i dont hold it against them or anything, more in a sense of i was rly tryin 2 carry it and just couldnt 

13. If taken, talk about your girlfriend/wife!

whooh i wish i was taken, i need affection + to b cute w someone 

15. Describe your dream wedding

hmmmm i havent thought much about it !! i know when i was younger i wanted to wear a black wedding dress but now im thinkin mb a suit that switches to dress @ the bottom?? that could b cool. I’d be happy w anything tbh, if im getting married, i’d just b happy to be w my wife/spouse. mb somewhere in a forest or on a boat would b cool, defs lots of good food and colorful flowers. I’d like a lot of color, most weddings ive been to are just b/w and bland for my taste (they’ve also all been straight tho so theres that.) it’s kind of wild to think that i might b married someday, but it’d b rly nice. i just haven’t thought much abt the planning of one. it’d b rly gay tho, probs give out tiny gay flags at each seat, and the cake could b lesbian flag colors. im rly drawing a blank on this, but i know id want all my friends around the country + world to be there. 

17. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

i definitely want to live in a port town at some point !! idk where i’d like to settle down, ideally somewhere that doesnt get much hotter than 90 degrees + has lots of parks + is big enough for some events, like pride stuff, little festivals, a farmer’s market, and places to do things, such as a movie theater, bowling alley, mb an aquarium, if not one in a nearby town. hiking trails r also good. 

19. Favorite lesbian novel/story?

on a sunbeam!!! its a huge inspiration for me, and i love it so much. it always puts me in such a good mindset when i read it, and the artist is my age, so it makes me feel like I can also accomplish great things if i rly put my heart into it!! which is such a good feeling, and it has great representation + characters that i love, and its rly gay, and in space and theres ships shaped like fish + its gorgeous : D i could go on for hrs abt it + how important it is to me. theres an nb character too, and like the aspect of found families is one that rly hits home and it helped me get thru a rough time of my life + better accept myself as queer/gay. 

21. Favorite lesbian musician?

adult mom (tho i think they’re bi but still gay), or hayley kiyoko

23. Ever been assumed to be nothing more than a gal pal?

i think so, but i can’t place when, it’s been a bit. 

25. Be positive! What do you like most about being a lesbian?

talking abt being gay w other girls/nbs is lovely and cathartic, i never got to growing up bc i lived in a homophobic town + i was like dealing heavily with internalized homophobia and body/gender dysphoria so i was ace for a bit. talking more abt like sexual attraction + aesthetic attraction is new to me, and that’s been a process to get to, but it’s nice that I can now do so w/o being belittled or barraged by insult. i also just love the thought of being w someone, and daydreaming abt when that happens is really nice. also,, girls + nbs r a blessing and brighten my day and im so glad im attracted 2 them 

27. Turn ons?

absolutely communication, that’s a need. i had a bad experience w someone bc she wasn’t communicative at all, and failed to tell me that we weren’t dating despite us going on several dates + kissing??? like i wont go too into it, but hatchi matchi it was a mess. so yeah, communication, affection, and like reassurance that they actually want to be with me, and that my presence is wanted and enjoyed. I got a lot of “i dont care”s for answers last sort-of relationship, and that was rly discouraging. another turn on is for them to initiate talking and things, like holding hands or planning to hang out + such. consent is another big one. 

29. Do you usually ask other women out or do you wait for them to ask you?

i usually tend to ask them out, but im still dealing w internalized junk, so its difficult. i also havent any situations in which they liked me back, which is frustrating. like i got lead on earlier summer for abt a month until i asked what we were doing + didnt rly get an answer, and it was this whole mess. i generally try to make the first move tho, bc i know firsthand how difficult it is, but that being said, it’s still hard for me to know for sure if theyre interested + i dont wanna make things uncomf w them, so i’ll wait until i think there might b attraction. that being said, once that’s all out of the way, i like to consider myself a good flirt when im trying. 

31. Talk about your interests or hobbies!

i have lots of interests!! im obsessed w steven universe, its my fav show (and if u ever have time, we should totally watch it together sometime, i rly think you’d love it, it’s super gay + heartwarming.) i really love playing music and learning new songs, which im rly great at memorizing. talking to friends + gettin 2 know them better is always nice and fun. i like to draw new things + see the different ways ppl draw, so seeing art on here is always fun for me. i’m also rly into polygon videos (it’s a youtube channel, not like videos abt polygon haha) and this podcast called the adventure zone. season one just ended, so i might start listening to another one called friends at the table. i rly wanna start a podcast w someone, but can never find anyone to start it with. idk what I’d talk abt but if i could find a partner for it, i think it’d be a lot of fun. mb smth abt games or books/queer representation in media. doing a dnd podcast would also b rly fun, but a lot of work + editing so mb later down the road !! im blanking on other interests atm, but animations and cartoons r lovely and i aim to make something in that field one day, if not just a comic.

my hobbies r mostlyyyy drawing, dnd things now every thursday, hanging w my friends, playing video games, sometimes writing (i rly wanna start a comic, and im tryin to get my butt into gear on it), goin to parks, listening to music, and goin 2 events w roe + cesar, two of my friends. sometimes ill play music!! i need to get more than the keyboard i’m lending, but i love performing. ill also watch leg birds on youtube, theyre a lesbian couple that plays gams + theyre rly sweet. 

33. Do you love easily or does it take time for you to warm up to someone?

its easy for me to love friends, doesnt usu take me more than a few months of knowing them if were talking a lot. as for falling in love, that takes me a lot longer. ive never rly been in love w someone. i thought i was once, but rly it was just my first gay experience w someone and i wanted it to be perfect so i projected a lot of things + made it better than it seemed to myself for the duration of it, which wasn’t healthy, so i wanna avoid doing that again, + take things slower next time. or at least for what they are. 

35. Ever fallen for a straight girl?

a few times, they were just crushes tho, so it wasnt too too bad

37. Favorite comfort food?

hot cocoa or tea. as for food food, i dont think i have one. mb french toast or cinnamon rolls. 

39. Vegetarian? Vegan? None of the above?

i used to be a vegetarian!! for like a yr, but it was difficult for me to eat and feel full, and i was pretty underweight, so i stopped. 

41. Early-riser or night-owl?

both, i tend to stay up, but getting up early can be nice if i dont have to do anything. like just gently waking + making some tea and a nice breakfast + sittin around for a bit. 

43. What is your Myers-Briggs type?

enfp-a 

45. At what age did you know you were a lesbian?

i think like 16-17? it took me a bit to get words for identity, like lesbian/nonbinary and the like, but i always knew, like id call myself an individual as opposed to gendered terms that i was referred to, and always felt rly yucky w deadname + the wrong pronouns

47. Are you crushing on anyone at the moment (celebrity or otherwise)?

ive got one crush atm !! and another person who seems nice, but i wanna hang out w before like thinking abt a crush (im poly, which perhaps goes w/o saying, but i always like to state it when talking abt these things, jic )

49. Talk about your dreams/aspirations for the future

i’d like a partner or two, to get some bongos- i got to play some a couple weeks ago, and it was the most fun i’ve had playing anything!! having smth with an instant response that i could make up rhythms with was really rewarding and so much fun. i know i want a cat at some point, to go on cute dates + cuddle and kiss a lot w someone, to visit my friends in other places, dye my hair, get a better job, to travel a bit, make a comic, go to college for animation and storyboarding, mb go to camp at some point, and I’d like to make some more friends here, i’m already making some, which i’m super happy about, but it’s always nice meeting new ppl 

thank u for asking!! this was relaxing + fun, and a lot of the topics were cathartic to talk about, and i needed it. so thanks for listening too kinda

also im queen of commas, i’ve discovered while typing this

[ariciaeast-blog]

T H E  M U S I C  R O O M;

ft the wonderful @princepercyschreave

“Is there a music room in this palace?” I asked my maids, turning to look at them, forgetting that they were fixing my hair. 

“Lady Aricia!” one of them scolded, making me turn back to face the mirror. I saw my blonde locks were lightly curled, the opposite of what they normally were; pin straight. My maids had applied a light coat of makeup to my face, and got me dressed into a pale blue dress and blue ballet flats. 

I asked my previous question again, and they all nodded, which made me happy. I havent played a piano since I was back home, and Liv ((ooc; Liv is her music loving friend from back home in Lakedon)) would not appreciate that I haven’t practiced at all. 

I went through one of my suitcases, and pulled out a book of waltzes that I was learning from, then I started walking to the music room. Once I was in the hallway, I realized that I actually didnt know where the music room was. I shook my head at my stupidity, and made my way to ask an older looking guard. 

“Excuse me, sir,” I said, walking up to him. 

“Yes?” he asked, impatiently. 

Wow, I guess somebody didn’t have patience

I resisted rolling my eyes at him, and asked, “Do you know where the music room is?” 

He nodded, and gestured to go down the hallway, so I obliged, picking up the excess fabric from my dress and walking down the hallway. I kept walking down the hallway, peeking through all the doors, until I saw one with a piano inside. 

Bingo!

I turned the knob of the door and walking in, making sure I wasn’t interrupting anyone else’s practice session. One thing I learnt from Liv was that musicians didnt like their practice interrupted. 

When I walked in, I was in awe. The room was ornately decorated, with various instruments lining the walls, and a beautiful black concert grand piano in the middle of the room. 

I made my way towards the piano, set my music down on the stand, and sat down, opening the book to the waltz that I was working on. 

I flipped the pages, before landing on the ‘Waltz in B Minor, by Chopin’. 

Perfect. 

I ran my fingers over the ivory keys, playing the piece until i got lost into the rhythm of the music, until I reached a certain portion of the piece which I could not play. My playing stopped abruptly, and I tried playing the section that I was having difficulties with, but it was to no avail. No matter how I tried, I kept stumbling over that particular part. 

“Ugh, this part isn’t working out the way I wan’t it to!” I exclaimed, and started over the piece. 

While I was playing through my favourite part, I heard someone talking, but I ignored it, immersing myself into the music. Just then, I heard a throat clear, and I stopped playing to look up, and I saw Prince Percy standing by the doorway, leaning against the doorframe. 

“Oh hey, I was just looking for you,” he said, walking further into the room. before stopping by the piano. 

I looked up at him, incredulously, “Oh, hi. You were looking for me?” I asked. 

He nodded, “Of course, we never got to finish our conversation from yesterday”

I smiled, remembering our conversation, “Oh yeah, so what did you want to talk about?” I asked, pivoting on the bench to face him. 

At that, his lazy grin had broke out into a full fledged smirk, “ I was just wondering...” he said, trying to draw my attention. 

Well, you’ve got to try harder than that, Percy 

I smirked back at him, “You were wondering?” I drawled, and laughed at the look on his face. It was a mixture of arrogance and.. something I couldn’t quite place my finger on. 

“Would you like to go on a boat ride with me? On the family yacht sometime?” I asked, grinning with overconfidence. 

Well, it would be a shame to end this charade! Lets keep it going for a bit longer...

I kept the smirk on my face, enjoying the dynamic between us, “oh, man, this is such a hard decision!” I exclaimed, gauging Percy’s reaction. His face was contorted into an arrogant smirk, his bluegreen eyes glimmering in amusement. 

“Well if it’s such a hard decision, maybe I’ll just go,” he said, raising his eyebrows and turning around at the speed of a turtle. 

I stood up, and let a loose chuckle pass through my lips, “Alright, Mr. Schreave, it’s not that hard of a decision,” I laughed, “I’ll go with you on this ‘boat ride’” I said, putting air quotations around ‘boat ride’, “But the better be the best part” I added, winking at the last part. 

He turned around, his trademark smirk gracing his lips, “Great. And it will be”

I smiled, “Thats nice. So I heard you play the piano as well?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. 

He nodded, running his hand over the roof of piano, smiling softly, “Yeah, a bit. So, what were you working on before?” he asked, looking back up at me, his eyes piercing through my own. 

“Well, I have a friend back home named Olivia,” I started, “and she was a really good musician, so one day, she dared me to learn this piece in a month, and its called ‘Waltz in B Minor’, by Chopin, and I can play the entire thing, except for a small section!” I laughed, thinking about Olivia and the face she’d be giving me if I told her that I was talking to one of the Princes of Illea about the piano, “if it were anyone but her daring me, I may have given up, but to give her that satisfaction? Never”

He nodded, smiling, “Hmm, let me see if I can help,” he said, and sat down on the piano, skimming through the piece, then starting playing, and I was floored. 

Wow

He played beautifully, paying attention to all the dynamics, tempo markings, and is feel was beautiful. 

When he finished playing, he turned to look at me, “You’re trying to get something like this, right?” he asked, and I nodded, still in awe about his playing. 

“Wow, you are really good! Well, I probably didn’t need to tell you that,” I said, laughing to distract him from the light blush that spread across my cheeks. 

He looked shocked at me compliment, and smiled, “Really? I didn’t think that I did that well...” he trailed off, but then refocused, “Well, anyways, so what specifically do you need help on?” he asked

I turned to the score, and pointed to a section, “Well, in the second page, there is a fast section and the fingering is a bit weird. I was trying to figure out a better alternative but so far nothing has been working”

I nodded, analysing the score before turning to look back at me, “Hmm... why dont you try playing just that section really slowly first so you can get the hang of it?” he suggested. 

I nodded, thinking about his fairly basic suggestion, before realising that he was right. I was throwing myself headfirst into the piece, so of course I wouldn’t be able to learn everything! I shook my head at myself, and turning to look at him. 

“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. I’ll try it! Thanks! I’m so happy that the palace has a music room! I always had to go to my Liv’s house to practice because I didn’t own a piano of my own, I only have a guitar...” I trailed off, smiling about the memories of my life before the selection

He nodded, “Yeah, the piano here is pretty nice...”

I smiled, and decided that I’d try to get know him a bit more. There was something elusive about him that I wanted to figure out. 

“So, how are you feeling about the selection so far?” I asked, “It must be weird having 35 random girls walking around your house...” I trailed off, trying to judge his reaction, and from the smirk that quickly overtook his features, I guessed that he had no problems with that many girls walking around his house. 

“I think its been pretty sweet so far,” he drawled, winking at me. 

I smirked, rolling my eyes at my assumption being correct. “That sounds great for you,” I said, laughing. 

He nodded, “it is pretty great”

I smiled, trying to get to the bottom of this prince, “So, tell me a bit about yourself, Percy! Are you really like what everyone says? Or is there more to the man behind the mask” I said, with a smile. 

He shrugged, “I like to think I’m a pretty open book. What you see is what you get.” he said, nonchalantly. 

I smirked, “Thats nice, so what do I get then?” I asked, trying to hide my surprise at where my flirty behaviour was coming from. 

He smirked back at me, making me feel like I was in a chick flick, “That depends, what do you want?” I asked, lowering his voice. 

I laughed at the irony of my position. Two months ago, if you told me that I would be flirting with one of the princes of Illea, I’d have probably asked you if you were drunk. But now... “That depends on what you’re willing to give me” I said, with a wink. 

His eyes glittered with amusement, as he said, “For now... a private boat ride in the family yacht”

I grinned, “Alright, that sounds wonderful” I exclaimed, smoothing down the front of my dress, trying to calm my nerves. Who could predict that my first ever date would be with none other than Percy Schreave? Certainly not me. 

“So...” he started, directing my attention back to him, “The boat ride. Does three days from now sound good? I need at least a little time to arrange things.”

I nodded, smiling, “That sounds great! I’ll be counting the days, Mr. Schreave”

He smiled back a genuine smile, “I’ll see you then” he said, his eyes lingering on mines for a second too long before walking away. When the door closed, I released the breath I didn’t know that I’d been holding. 

Wow

I shook my head, trying to clear away the daze that I had been in, and turned back to the piano. As I played some more pieces, and walked up to my room to prepare for dinner, there was one thought that never left my mind;

Percy

[andsotheuniverseended]

Character headcanons: the whole mighty nein?

oh damn aight babe lets get started

Jester

1: sexuality headcanon

my girl is bisexual, no question.

2: otp

beaujes ftw, of course. i just... i feel like Jester can lean on Beau a lot, and that’s important.

3: brotp

honestly Jester has such a good relationship with the whole entire team, i cant believe how much she is the heart of the entire team. i would say my favorite dynamic is... jester and fjord. they just have some real cute moments, and they really try and support each other.

4: notp

i dont really have any notps? i mean... i cant really see her with caleb, i guess, which is a thing some people like? but im very much a chill person.

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

Jester used to make little gifts for her mom, but she kind of had to make do with the things she had access to, so it was a lot of drawings and playing pranks she thinks will make her mom smile.

Also, Marion still has every single one of the drawings Jester ever gave her.

6: one way in which I relate to this character

Dick jokes.

7: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

hmmm... i dont get much from Jes, honestly. i would say... oh wait gods i just remembered that conversation with Beau about relationships and how theyre not like the books they read oh my poor baby Jester ishfgufkd.lg8: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

cinnamon roll

Caleb

1: sexuality headcanon

i am personally real into asexual and panromantic Caleb.

2: otp

i dont particularly ship Caleb with anyone? but if i had to say... maybe with Essek? or Caduceus? but Caleb is v much the kind of person who needs solid family relationships more than romantic ones.

3: brotp

Caleb and Nott are the og, obvi.

4: notp

Caleb and Beau, for sure my dudes. they are Empire Siblings, platonic forever.

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

i dont remember if its said where he got the name from but ive decided just now he got the name Caleb Widogast from a porn book. it was a minor character and he’s mostly just praying that Jester will never run into the book he took it from.

6: one way in which I relate to this character

depression and trauma, babey

7: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

when he was having that conversation with Beau and they were just literally talking circles around each other and not getting anywhere with it. also any time where he starts talking about how he’s a shitty person.8: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

problematic fave, for suresies

Caduceus

1: sexuality headcanon

he is a big and soft and gentle gay man.

2: otp

Caduceus x peace, Caduceus x support, Caduceus x not dying ever again please

also i like Caduceus and Fjord

3: brotp

i really want Cads to connect more with the others, yknow? i feel like hes doing a lot of supporting them and not getting a lot of support. i liked that moment he had with the Gentleman, i would love if that got more time but i doubt it.

i would say... Cads and Jester? i feel like they both do that thing where they don’t lean on others as much as they could and so they should lean on each other.

4: notp

i dont think i honestly have one for Cads. i mean, him and anyone who would hurt him. dont let anyone hurt the boy. he needs protection.

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

i think part of why he hasnt scried on his family is partially worry about just not being able to see them, but also partially worry that theyre fine out there. theyre fine and doing good work and they just havent come back, havent checked in on him or the Grove, and he’s just as scared to see that as he is to see that theyre not okay at all.

6: one way in which I relate to this character

low int, has trouble paying attention, big mood.

7: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

i... honestly cant really think of a moment? he has always done his best and i love him.8: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

cinnamon roll

Nott

1: sexuality headcanon

i... i feel like. she has straight woman energy? but i dont like that so as far as im concerned she’s bisexual.

2: otp

Nott and Yeza. rhino sex potions, learning how to change and grow together, and that entire moment when they’re reunited and Yeza is just happy she’s alive no matter what she looks like.

3: brotp

listen Nott and Caleb are the og, but Nott and Jester are the detective duo and as far as im concerned, thats what matters most.

4: notp

mmmmmmmmmm idk does anyone ship nott and caduceus? thats a notp for me, i just decided that just now.

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

Nott hasn’t spoken to her brothers in a very long time, and in fact actively avoids it when given the chance.

6: one way in which I relate to this character

“they turned me into everything i thought was”. always thinking of yourself as Less. and also being a gross goblin.

7: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

knowing she had a crush on caleb lmao not gonna lie8: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

problematic fave

Beau

1: sexuality headcanon

lesbian

2: otp

BeauJes, my dudes. “i could be her beacon” was a powerful phrase. and also beauyasha is still very very good content.

3: brotp

Beau and Fjord. captain and first mate. teacher and student. i honestly think Fjord was one of the first people to really give Beau a chance to grow as a person and she grabbed it with both hands and worked so hard at it, and Fjord was there for it. 

4: notp

beau and any guy. she’s a lesbian, ya’ll. come on.

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

beau doesnt like yellow because one time she had to wear a yellow dress to a party and she spilled something on it and got yelled at for the stain and she’s a bitter one who doesnt let things go so now she just doesnt wear yellow, and prefers dark colors.

cant get yelled at for stains if no one can see them!

6: one way in which I relate to this character

socially awkward! yes.

7: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

mmmm socially awkward, again8: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

i feel. like. she cant be a cinnamon roll but shes also.   not entirely a problematic fave? more problematic fave than cinnamon roll, but not really either.

Yasha

1: sexuality headcanon

she is a Lesbian who was very much in love with her wife, as most lesbians are.

2: otp

Yasha x forgiveness, Yasha x happiness, Yasha x freedom

also beauyasha is always good. and so is yasha and jester? get yasha a blue girlfriend who will reassure her that things are okay.

3: brotp

Yasha and Molly were, obvi, amazing together. maybe its bc of them that i also want to see more of Cads and Yasha. 

i just feel like the low int bros could be fun.

4: notp

ummmm i guess. i cant see molly and yasha in a romantic way at all?

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

on yasha and zuala’s wedding day, they had to do it in secret, so they couldnt really decorate or celebrate much. but what they did do was pick flowers and put them everywhere. so that even if they couldnt show their love to their tribe, they could still be surrounded by colors and life and beauty.

6: one way in which I relate to this character

Says Dumb Things, Loves Girls So Much, Needs A Break

7: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

listen i am anticipating a lot of awkward apologizing and guilt and idk if this counts as second hand embarrassment but im deffo gonna be crying so8: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

cinnamon roll and i will fight anyone who says otherwise

Fjord

1: sexuality headcanon

thinking about it... im real into demi Fjord. 

2: otp

Fjord x Eldritch Blaaaast

forreal tho i dont heavily ship him with anything. him and Cads are cute, tho.

3: brotp

i know i already said this for beau but really the captain first mate dynamic is so so good.

i also like him and nott. green drowning victims! bickering! also actually being ride or die for each other but like you would never tell them that!

4: notp

mmmmm him and avantika i guess

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

a lot of the reason Fjord is so good at accents is bc, as a kid, he would try and mimic other people’s voices. he thought it would get them to stop looking at him like a half-orc. it didnt work, but now he can p much copy anyone’s voice so that’s handy!

6: one way in which I relate to this character

just doesnt know whats going on, assumes someone who says wise words must be the smartest person ever, feels like deadweight if they dont have something special they can do

7: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

this is legit the hardest question for every character my dudes uhhhhh oh gods the whole thing with avantika was killer so i guess when he has to fake it but also doesnt know what the hells going on at the same time.8: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

cinnamon... roll? i mean... he did also almost unleash a many eyed eldritch snake tho......... so....

send me a character or anything really

[readfelice-blog]

Moominland Chronicles achtzehn: Gran Torino

Hello, let’s just jump straight in shall we?

Oh, no wait, firstly,  have a look at Colin Self’s Siblings (which is surprising and delightful in certain places, I’m only on my first listen though so havent got to its core yet.)

https://colinself.bandcamp.com/album/siblings

And something a bit more Italian for you, Franco Battiato, who was the essence that was channeled vicariously in the naming of LA LUCE AL BUIO,

-Un’ora Con…

….Makes for very interesting listening, there's a clangers track in there, though I’m not sure if that's what Franco was going for it definitely made me smile:

This is fetus (a track off the album but it's hard to source online so might be a spotify / google play search tbh) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cd_59SCLlZY

Well then, Turin’s right nice.

I got a plane at 6:30 in the morning, the wing of the airport I was leaving from was closed when I got there.

This time I got a seat on the bus to get to the airport. My seat was directly in front of a mentally disturbed man who was walking up and down the aisle for the entire journey. He eventually got blocked in by other passengers boarding, he had a strange distant smile, I can't say it wasn’t disconcerting, but it was also curious and strangely beautiful.

He disappeared when we arrived at Tegel, I doubt he was getting a plane, though who knows, perhaps he was some fractured billionaire burnt out from all the money he was juggling.

After customs took their seats and sent me through the barriers I sat to wait for the cafe to open, wrote my diary: which is another thing im doing now, in case you're not content with one ‘Felice’s tell all story’ - theres now a rawer instagram only version charting my journey through ‘восем acht ocho’ as well, its totally unedited bile and thoroughly embarrassing - I’m not re reading / editing it, but it’s the best way to keep track of all these publications being haphazardly launched around Central Europe.

The airline I was flying with was called Lauda, some subdivision of Ryanair, who I bought my ticket through, all the staff had Ryanair uniforms on and the plane was a Ryanair plane.

Last week I was a bit mad on death, I read Michel De Montaigne’s essay ‘To philosophize is to learn how to die’ and then put its message into practise - looking for and becoming acquainted with death wherever I went, envisioning it in the lamp light of darkened streets, the glass eyes of dolls and even under the toilet seat.

Lauda was death, a Ryanair flight would never crash, not in my mind, but a Lauda flight could….

We left Berlin in fine weather, we travelled to a sunless sky framed by thick blocks of grey. As we went along the turbulence was unbearable, I am not an easy flier, perhaps I've not done it enough, but also I’m riddled with anxiety before I even get in the sky, one small shake is ok, but a continuous rattle for 20 mins and the safety belt signs coming on whilst still mid journey does not fare well with me. I was utterly convinced at one point that it was the end of my relatively short but eventful time on earth and glad I’d written my last requests before I left, though much more scared than I wanted to be.

Breathe deep, it does work.

Just as we descended and the spectre of death rescinded I suddenly realised how incredible the view was outside my window and eagerly attended to the sight of clouds upon clouds, a dense celestial cacophony lit by the golden rays of the sun. We passed through this heavenly land, everything becoming hazy and disappearing into the fog of vapor.

When we landed the plane applauded the pilot, clearly I was not the only person on board so terrified that if I’d clenched my fists any tighter they’d have snapped off my wrists.

Our pilot deserved those claps, he flew us close to death but was strong enough to skim it rather than be sucked in.

The airport was the same as last year,

no wait no it wasn't because I flew to Milan

and then had two train rides to Torino (Turin), the second train was very pleasant, trains are nice in Italy, they have power ports under the seats and are 2 floors like double decker buses. I think some of them are like that in Germany to.

This year I was officially in Italy, joyfully attached to my window, taking in the edge of decay that skirted wonderful quaint yellow houses, one glass fronted building bursting out of another which contained hundreds of lamps in different shades and sizes. Studying the people, handsome and somehow and open, there was a vividness to their faces that arrested me.

And I was in Italy when I got off the train and walked on to the streets of Torino, it wasn’t Paris or Berlin or Helsinki or Cork, it wasn't the setting where I would be saved by a man I’d never met before.

It was captivating and full of heart.

Firstly, my ableton tote that held 3 publications needed attending to, I neatly veered towards Piazza Statuto, reputedly a potential gate to hell, this little trip would chart me walking from dark to light.

It was raining as I stood under the jagged rocks and mangled bodies of the Monument, I’d been panicking that the rain would ruin these labored over gifts , where would I leave them?? Not in toilets, especially not disgusting piss sprayed italian cafe toilets, they were worth more than that, as with much of my life I stepped back a little from this worry and just trusted that something would present itself.

A couple approached me after a short time of being stood in front of the gates of hell, they asked in Italian, then English, for me to take a photo of them, I talked myself down from chucking my parcel in their direction and then launching myself the opposite way. This turned out to be sensible, as the opportunity then presented itself, in the form of a thick tree stump, under the gaze of the tortured stone faces. It had once been a pair of trees, but now in the wet air of the afternoon, it was one tree and one monument of a tree, the remaining oak sheltering its lost compadre with thick branches still full of leaves.

They were off the beaten path, in truth I wondered if it would be found, the person that might spy it would have to be observant and sensitive: children would find it, but I don't want kids to find these books, there's some art smut not for children's eyes bound inside the covers.

The act of leaving this gift was much easier than I envisioned, it turns out you can do all sorts of things in plain sight and most people won’t even bat an eyelid, at least not in Torino that day.

I really like Italy now.

I left it, then I zipped off to a nearby cafe to have a cup of tea (coffee is to strong for my delicate disposition these days). Last year I spoke to no one for days, but after months of not being able to speak German in Germany, not being able to speak Italian in Italy wasn't quite such a big deal.

The cafes I visited remind me a bit of Amelie, who I couldn't find in Montmartre, she had somehow transferred herself to Torino.

This one was brightly lit, glass cases of cakes and thick sandwiches hugged the floor, then the bar followed round behind them, I blundered through asking for tea, was given a pot of water and a tray of teabags, i just took all the teabags unthinkingly and then considered the inadequate ratio of tea bags to water.

D’oh,

They were returned to the counter and I parked myself outside to start my diary.

When I went in to pay at the end I found out that it was the lady, on her own little island aside from the bar, nestled amid nik naks and sweets, who was the person i should give my money to. I chuckled a bit to myself for my lack of common sense, the staff had big smiles on, it was a happy place I left, it was a happy place I had entered.

Then to Piazza Castello, but via Dama art fair.

In the rain it suddenly struck me how incredibly sensible and kind all these covered footpaths were, graced by arches and gorgeous decorative embellishments, they sheltered the people of the city and provided ample space for outside seating, whatever the weather. Because, the people of Torino like to be outside even when they’re inside, lots of cafes have glass paneled structures adjacent to the main building, so you can always eat on the street.

I sidestepped the main street, a direct passage from dark to light, to go to Dama art fair, a smaller less commercial affair than Artissima, set inside a baroque palace. It announced itself calmly, no fanfare and the first room you entered was empty, aside from sound, then into a journey, maps stretched across the wall, details of the passage overhanging the main plots, drawings and observations, in monochrome.

Dama art fair was elegant, but not arrogant, against the gorgeously decadent furnishings and trimmings of the palaces rooms quiet art pieces, drawings and sculptures mainly, investigating and working with form, sat just ebbing and pulsating in the atmosphere of the surroundings they inhabited. On arrival upstairs, after dumbly staggering around a courtyard for about 15 mins with a wealthy and well dressed man and his companion, who were also very friendly.

He “Its the most secret art fair in the world”

Me “You have to work for your art”

On arrival you were greeted by ‘THE END’ : woven fabric around big wooden words hung from the ceiling between two large blue speakers.

“How do they know?” I wondered to myself - “How do they know that this is my ending, here in Torino?”

No sign of a beginning though, I guess I will find it somewhere else.

Then back out onto the street again and walking past high street shops to the Piazza Castello. On my straight line from dark to light.

I’m glad my bag is light, you don’t need much to travel.

It’s raining and overcast, but the Piazza Castello is opening up in front of me like a beacon of light, it’s not an angel that stands in its centre, which I expected to find, but a man, I feel like he's a logician, an academic, an emblem of reason and enquiry. I haven’t done my research because I like to work with impressions and weave my own kind of mysticism into what I find as I walk around, so I don’t know who he is.

The piazza is huge, on my left to horseback riders announce a big art gallery where curious visitors stand in bunches waiting to go inside, on my right are white fronted buildings, all majestic and grand, there is so much room to breath here. But where do I leave my publication? I circle the statue and then spy what looks like a plinth, a kind of chalice almost, I imagine it’s filled with the elixir of life but as I get closer I find it’s actually an ashtray, its covered though and as I take a turn about it I notice that the wise man in the centre of the square is pointed towards me.

It might be an ashtray but it’s the right place, I’m more confident this time as I prop my publication on its rim, take a photo and then walk away. I’m noticing though that I barely take in the surroundings I find when I’m doing this and then I get panicky and run away, I make a note to myself that after all this work I need to sit where I lay my gifts, I need to draw them and understand them, be able to describe them to myself for years to come. Quick photographs don’t give enough time to what I’m doing.

I then arch off and look for food, because I’m hungry. Lots of people seem to be gathering about a nearby pizza shop, like a chicken headed tourist I join the crowd, I’ve decided I’m allergic to lactose and wheat but hey, I’m on holiday, when you’re abroad your hysterias change.

I get myself a ‘Gran Torino’ and then I eat it there on the street, wrapped in paper, there’s a man sat down nearly opposite, the first homeless man I’ve seen here, we don’t interact but I pay him mind, I don’t want to make him invisible to suit my view. As I’m just stuffing the last of the delicious breaded cheese feast into my mouth I enter another cafe, pulled in by its ample outside seating and its corner position, I don’t want any more tea but they have freshly squeezed orange juice, yes please.

Whilst sat outside I am approached 3 times at my table, twice by Italians looking for somewhere to eat, who are very friendly when they find out I’m not Italian and go on their way cheerily. Once by a woman pushing a very young girl and braced little boy who very aggressively asks for money, her young son and her stand and shout at me for a few minutes whilst I refuse to give them anything then go off into the surrounding city, they shout in Italian and I think to myself that it’s probably not the best way to ask for charity, but maybe it works for them sometimes.

I’ve already experienced more interaction with people in a few short hours than I did in the 4 days I was here last, who am I this time? I’m not the same person that traipsed miserably up and down these streets 12 months ago.

Nowhere is this more profound than on my walk to my air bnb, the wet warm air and clouds hug incredible views down each street that I walk past, as I look to my left I can see the glorious green hills that surround the city, I can feel the magic that is rife here, and I notice the Italians going about their daily lives so full of energy and vitality. There’s a spring in my step every cm of the way that I walk.

My air bnb host is a superhost, I’d actually settled to stay alone but my trip was cancelled a little while before I went to Paris and her place was available, I’d taken it because I wouldn’t be alone, because even though my stay in Paris was not great I’d appreciated having someone there when I got to my accomodation and I’d wanted to repeat that more sensibly this time, with a private room rather than a sofa bed in common space.

The house is spotless, she is a compact and very handsome older woman, it feels safe, I feel like I’ve been here before. We can’t really communicate, she cant speak English and I can’t speak Italian, it’s frustrating but we manage somehow. I have my own private bathroom in this house and a little tidy bed with soft pillows that make me realise the one I have in my room at home is far to hard and unfriendly.

I have a nap, which I’ve promised myself since getting aboard the plane, I get into my pajamas and lie in bed for 3 hours, half awake. Whilst I’m spread out in my little bed I listen to the noise that surrounds me, the young family that live next door chatter and argue and laugh, the birdsong echoes outside my window, the sound of cars and the church bells fill my ears, they are resonant, like a chorus. I find my demons lurking inside me, but I just face them and then have a little stretch and turn over, we are a multitude of traumas and triumphs, not just one but several people and in order to rest we must be able to live with all these voices inside us, come to terms with them and pull them together to fight for us.

Because life isn't simple or easy all the time, no human is not inflicted at some point in their lives and it's very important when you face problems to be able to know who you are, so that you can love yourself whilst you receive the madness of the world.

I get up when it’s dark, thinking I’ll order a taxi to the AC Hotel, I shower and furnish my face with glitter, put on my blue velvet dress. I’m not excited, but it's what I must do and so I will go to the AC Hotel with my last publication stowed under my arm, to the garden where last time I had invested so much hope, though I know logically now that it's not the key to this trip, in some ways I’ve already lived what I came here for, but I must re walk these steps to release myself from the past and move forward.

I end up walking because buses and trams are to complicated and the taxi doesn’t come.

Before I get to the hotel I want to eat, the cafe I went to last time is closed but there is a gelato shop on the opposite side, with a hot pink table, totally empty. I’ve still not had any gelato in Italy and as I used to work in a gelato shop it's something I’d like to try.  

Its an old couple that own the shop, I get the most gelato I possibly can: fior di latte, amaretto, pistachio, in a great big cone, I’m treating myself because I’m not drinking and I need the energy. Though I worry it’ll make me puff up I eat it enthusiastically at the hot pink table whilst looking out at the rainy streets of Lingotto, considering the other desserts in a glass case by the window.

I’m quite a sight tonight, in blue velvet and glitter, my red tousled hair brushing my shoulders, I can tell its made an impression on the owners of the shop, who buzz about, welcome a customer that seems like a friend, go about their lives surrounded by all these delicious sweets.

Once I’m done I consider leaving my last publication there as well, but think better of it, sling it over my shoulder and continue to the AC Hotel.

Everyone’s so good looking once I get inside the hotel, a smorgasbord of chic sportswear and chiselled faces, I don’t look anyone in the eye whose not a member or staff so I manage to kid myself that people are who they are not to suit my fantasies. I go upstairs to an ‘installation room’ which is some led lights and a person fiddling on a laptop, the room is filled with people socialising, I go downstairs to try and see if I can get into the secret rooms, but the hostess, after flirting for about 15 minutes and ignoring me, gleefully tells me there are no rooms left, except lust at 21:40, its 20:00 ish, I don’t know what I would do whilst waiting for that room and actually of all the rooms lust is not whats in my heart right now, I do think about just taking it to prove a point but really I’m not petty enough to sit in this place bored for over an hour waiting to go upstairs.

Clearly the secret rooms will remain secret to me.

I don’t get a drink because I don’t drink (alcohol).

I go to the garden, there’s a lot of people gathered around the door and I push through them to find space and to consider where to leave my publication, it's still raining.

This garden is not the Garden of Eden tonight, perhaps it never was, now its a concrete courtyard with a tree and some grass in the dipped area, and rain streaked white seats on the raised platform I’m standing on. It's not the Garden of Eden, its a hotel courtyard. Where do I put my publication?

Just past the crowd, behind a shrubbery, there's a window sill thats large enough to perch on, which is sheltered from the rain, it's quite hidden but it seems like the place. I sit in the cove and have a cigarette then I get out my book and place it where I’ve been sitting, take a photo and scamper off. The last of the 3 now placed in Torino.

After this is is a kaleidoscope of moments: wandering around a shopping centre, which is called 8, going up escalators to unravel the triple 8 scrawled on a door before me and see where the seeds were sown. The venue and Aphex twin and all his lasers, scurrying from room to room through intolerably long hallways to watch a myriad of vocalists, dancing about in various places, realising that the toilets were never that bad, as long as you manage to effect a good squatting position. Finding out that question marks are not always doorways that open to fantasies being realised.

I stand and wait for a taxi for an hour behind women with artist badges around their necks.

I Get home after a 20 minute detour because my taxi was invaded by impatient people.

I Sleep.

In the morning I wake up in good time despite not getting my full 8 hours (or anywhere close to this) I wander out and make tea, I try to talk to my host but it’s very difficult, though I’ve noticed the traces of her in the flat, the handmade lemon body wash, the single malts, the honey. Eventually after starting a note to her I just use the paper in my hand to write what I am saying, my London accent is always a problem wherever I go but she understands written English. This works:

“It took me 90 minutes to get home last night.

12:30 > I’m going to shower, my aeroplane is at 3:30 (15:30)

So hopefully I have time

I like to have a lot of time

Biggest stress

Lots of people don’t understand my accent because I mumble”

Me and my host have a strange connection, she is another angel, she sees my fragility and the sadness that sits at the basin of my eyes, she offers me food and shelter, I can feel her heart wrapping around me and giving me warmth. I go to sit outside and wait for my taxi 20 minutes in advance, she comes and brings a sock I’ve left in the flat, as we embrace its tight and full of love, not like the hug of strangers, like family. Later she tells me via email that I am always welcome, that I am a friend now and friends don’t have to pay to stay with her.

I will go back to that house and those church bells, though I can’t say exactly when.

My ride home is flawless, as I sit on the mezzanine over looking TXN airport, a beautiful well proportioned space where you can look out at the snow capped mountains, I listen to a man playing drukqs by aphex twin on the piano below me and I let go of Turin, of last year and all the residual pain that I brought here when I came before.

There’s no need for me to go back to that festival again, there’s other places and new journeys I must embark on.

I enter Turin a mangled and not very good musician, I leave Torino a curious and dignified artist, that sings. I let art return to me and realise it never really left, I will always be an artist whatever I do.

That's just me.

85 publications to go….

[depressionconsumes]

answer all of the questions (:

1. Are you good at apologizing?: well.. I think I am. If I know I’m in the wrong I’ll be the first to say I am sorry.

2. Do you prefer your looks or personality?: uhh.. I struggle with liking either to be honest.

3. Are you confident?: sometimes I can be.

4. What are you most confident about yourself?: I’m confident about my eyes I guess ^^

5. Name a few songs that remind you of someone, and who they remind you of: I like it like that by cardi b, the other popular song by cardi b, country roads… they all remind me of my best friend!

6. What is your favorite color combination?: oh this is easy. My three fav colors ofc, blue green and purple xD

7. Define your “aesthetic”: do faeries, elves, mermaids and aliens count as an aesthetic?

8. What is sex to you?: to me it’s something I will only have again if I completely love and trust a person. I wont give that part of myself away to someone I dont love.

9. Do you have any kinks? What are they?: shittt this is a loaded question Haha.. uhh. Well. I’m into BDSM to a degree, I’m a switch but I’m usually more submissive. I could go more into what I’m into with BDSM but I dont want too LOL. most my kinks relate too it as well.

10. What are your biggest pet peeves?: I have so many. Lying, rude customers at work, people making my bestfriend sad, people who have kids but dont care about them enough. The list is long my dudes.

11. What’s something that automatically turns you off of other people?: hmm.. uhh.. getting caught in a lie and trying to make me feel bad about catching the lie they told? That’s something I guess LOL

12. What song always makes you sad and emotional?: right now, what if and we belong make me sad. Theres alot of songs that get me emotional tbh.

13. How many people have you dated? How many of them do you still have feelings for?: 3 serious relationships. I’ve dated 7 total people though. I’m not answering the second part but I will say if you truly love someone you will always have a place in your heart for them.

14. How are you with moving on?: I’m okay with it. At first it’s hard for me. But give it a little bit and I get back up and keep trekking on. You have to be willing to move on to actually do so.

15. What’s a philosophy you agree with but fail to live by?: uhh.. anarchism maybe.

16. What’s something you dont like about yourself?: I don’t like much about myself but I guess I’ll go with the biggest one and say my body.

17. What’s something positive happening in your life right now?Well I think I finally found the path in life that I’m supposed to be on with work if that makes sense. I finally have a job I love to go too.

18. Are you truly able to admit your faults in relationships to yourself?I think I am. I dont always know what my faults are but if they’ve been pointed out and if I see them myself I’m the first one to admit I was at fault. So long as I actually was.

19. Is it important to be a good person?:It depends. I think for the most part yes. But what is a good person actually?

20. Are you a good person? I can be I think. But I also can be a shitty person. I think everyone’s capable of both.

21. How could you become a better personMaybe being less bitter hahahahaha

22. Would/have you ever pierced your genitalia?No. Probably not.

23. Have you ever been in love? If so with how many people?Once. I’ve experienced actually loving someone once in my life. Its powerful and it never goes away.

24. Do you believe in love at first sight? I mean.. yes. I believe in soulmates and such and sometimes when you meet a soul mate or someone supposed to be in your life for whatever reason, I believe love at first site can happen.

25. Which social science interests you most? Psychology, sociology or anthropology? Why? Its definitely a close tie between psychology and anthropology. I love learning how our brains work but I also absolutely love learning about culture so it’s hard to chose just one.

26. Have you ever orgasmed?No. No I havent actually. I try believe me.

27. Have you ever made someone else orgasm?Yes. Yes I have.

28. During sexual interaction what is most important too you?Feeling wanted and feeling safe.

29. Are you comfortable being sexual with lots of people?Not really. I’ve had sex twice with one person in my life and that person took advantage of my both times and then did a shitty thing too me. So sex is a hard subject for me.

30. I dont feel like answering this one sorry guys.

31. What’s your favorite song to sing alot?Uhhhh.. COUNTRY ROADDDSS TAKE ME HOMEE TO THE PLACE. I BELONGGG

32. What’s some “embaressing” music you listen too?Weeb ass music LOL

33. What are you most snobby/pretentious about?UHHH… I dont know really

34. How do you Express sad emotions? And happy emotions?I bottle up sad emotions usually and replace them with laughing and being bitter or angry lol. Sometimes I cry too tho. Happy emotions I just get excited usually I guess.

35. Do you Skype? Facetime?Yepp yep I do. Have been doing that since I was like 13/14

36. How do you feel about phone calls?Eh.. if it’s with someone I love I like them. Otherwise i hate phone calls they make me anxious.

37. How do you feel about texting? I’m most comfortable texting because i usually Express myself better then when I’m word vomiting all over.

38. What are your thoughts on LDRs?They’re hard. And hard work. And they dont always last and survive but when they do it’s a beautiful thing. I’ve been in a few myself..

39. The answer is no I havent. Not yet anyway

40. When and why was the last time you cried?Not long ago. I’ve been crying alot lately. The reason why recently has been the same. Life is overwhelming and I feel an incredible emptiness.. emptiness isn’t even the right word but it’s close. So sometimes I just break down and cry about it. Sometimes I cry because I just dont want to keep fighting for a life in this shitty world but.. I have people in my life who keep me going.

41. What’s something that you love that you never do anymore? Why dont you do it?Draw on paper and write.. I lost my spark I guess. I havent done either of those things besides writing letters to my bestfriend in awhile.

42. Are you afraid to die?No not really. Only afraid of the people I love hurting if I died.

43. If there were no limits, who and what would you be?Id be a mystical as fuck elf okay. Like hell yeah. Or a fairy maybe. Like pls

44. Are you more likely to be a sub or dom during sex?I’m more sub.

45. Describe your fashion senseI wear what I want and what I’m comfortable in. Dresses r life.

46. Do you have stage fright?Yes.

47. Did you ever put your hand up in class?Yes.

48. Are you more of an open or closed person?Uh.. both really.

49. What is the worst thing that has ever happened to you? And the best?Losing my virginity was probably the worst. My bestfriend entering my life is probably the best.

50. Are you a theist? Uhh… well. I’m an agnostic theist if I’m being honest. Dont know what that is? Google is your friend.

51. What are your top three places you want to travel and why?Ireland(and the UK in general) because my roots lie there. Japan because I love Japanese culture and it’s beautiful there. Andd… France. So I have a reason to finish becoming fluent in French.

52. What’s something you thought would be really scary/bad, but when it actually happened it was fine?Rollercoasters. Was terrified now I’m obsessed.

53. When you sleep at a friends house, how often do you sleep in their bed?Uh.. I only have had one friend where I was actually comfortable enough to sleep in their bed, and it was in high school and it took multiple times of her saying I could for me to be like you know what.. okay why not. Platonically sleeping with someone isn’t bad. I was more afraid I’d roll over or something and push her out of her own bed then anything tbh

54. Can you sleep facing someone?I dont know. Never got the chance to experience that to know yet.

55. Do you ever get in slumps? If so how often/long do they happen?Absolutely. All the time. It depends really. They can last a day or a year or feel neverending.

56. Do you like being alone?Most of the time yes. But sometimes I crave being around people.

57. Are you social?I can be.

58. How do you feel about parties?Depends on the party. I like to party definitely but not all parties are fun.

59. Have you ever hosted a party? Howd it go?Yeah I have. It went well. Everyone had fun. Think we even had a line in the backyard for chacha slide lolol

60. What questions do you love to ask people?What’s your zodiac sign?

61. What questions do you live to be asked?I dont know.

62. Are you confrontational? Does it make you uncomfortable when others are?Not usually no. I hate confrontation. And it does make me uncomfortable yes. I have an issue where I’m almost always defensive and it’s because of living with narcissists and people who emotionally abused me my entire life and blamed me for things I didnt do. So I really struggle with the side effects of living that way tbh.

There yall gp. I did it. Bc ily guys