#i still haven’t watched james bond

[mistyjessart]

Kingsman OC for a Kingsman-inspired campaign

They’re an ex-military boarding school, ex-soldier who went “MIA,” was found by Kingsman, chilled in the Lakes District for a couple years, and was recruited to join after the events of Kingsman 2. They’re also a 2014 Tumblr girlie, love spy movies, and play spy music on their comms whenever they’re out on missions “for the vibes.”

Anyways shoutout to @m1nts for spreading the Kingsman propaganda I am so excited for them to ramble about movies at everyone and get into cool spy shenanigans.

[compacflt]

wip wednesday 2: internalized homophobia boogaloo

[fandomnerd9602]

First Time (🌶️)

Bambi!Wanda x Reader

Warning: a romantic and fluffy 18+ story

Gif by @abimess

Your mate, Wanda Maximoff, the antlered for human hybrid was getting an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. One moment she had absolute butterflies around you. The next she could have an overwhelming feeling of dread.

She had a good idea of where it was coming from. But she needed to talk about it with her good friend and fellow hybrid Natasha.

As with their usual hangouts, Wanda found Natasha in her on-site den. Natasha was watching an old James Bond movie when Wanda came in like a deer caught in headlights.

“What’s wrong with you, Wanda? Can’t find your favorite plushie?” Natasha smirks.

“No it’s not that.” Wanda played with her fingers a little. “I-I want to mate with (Y/N).”

Natasha just about choked on her popcorn. “W-what? Mate with…? Wait! You haven’t yet?”

“N-no. I want to but I feel like I can’t.”

“Why not?” Natasha inquired, “you love Y/N and they love you back.”

“I’m not ready to get pregnant.” Wanda whispered. “I can’t remember much. All I remember of my captivity was being pregnant with my boys. I-I can’t risk becoming pregnant and losing my babies. Not again! Please Natasha don’t let my—“

Natasha silenced her best friend with a hug. She gently rubbed her best friend’s back. Natasha gently nuzzles Wanda.

“No one will ever take your babies. And we’re gonna find your boys.” Natasha gently reassures her. “Just talk with (Y/N) about this”

“What if-“

“(Y/N) won’t reject you. It’s going to be alright”

A little later, Wanda crept into your office. You were finishing up a call with your friend and benefactor, Tony Stark.

“Yeah we’ll be there….see you Thursday, Tony” you hung up and smiled at your fiancé. “Hey my doe, how are you?”

Wanda looked at you, nervously. “Detka you know I love you, right?”

“Of course. And I love you”

“I…I want to mate with you” she looks at you with innocent eyes.

“Aren’t we already mates?” You got out of your chair and walked over to her.

“No. I mean y-yes we are. I-I mean I want to mate with you” she leans against your chest. “I want to be one with you.”

You gave it brief thought and a blush made its way across your face. “Oh…really?”

Wanda nodded, still hiding her face in embarrassment.

“Do you feel like you’re ready?” You take her face gently in your hand, she turns her gaze to you.

“I am. But I don’t want to risk having children yet. I-I want babies with you just not …right now”

“Okay.” You nod, “I completely understand. There are ways around that.”

“So..” Wanda found herself wondering, “we can mate and not worry about kids?”

“Yeah.”

You spent the better part of the afternoon, helping Wanda, answering any and all questions. Somehow just talking with you was enough to calm her nerves and help her to feel more comfortable around you.

“Mind if I cook you something special tonight?” You nuzzle and kiss her tenderly. Wanda giggles and nods.

The evening went by pretty spectacularly you’d say. You cooked her favorite meal, watched her favorite show, like any other evening. And then you found yourselves slow dancing to her favorite song. The one you had proposed to her with.

“Tonight has been…the best night of my life” she giggle against your chest.

“I love you Wanda. I want you to feel as loved as you made me feel” you kiss her knuckles with a little smile on your face.

“I’m ready” she tells you with a smile. “I want to mate with you”

“Oh…yeah I’m down” you try to comprehend the words. You were a little nervous, she was so amazing and here she was wanting you to be her only for the rest of your lives. Tonight was your first time together.

She kisses you softly, taking your hands in hers. Wanda softly guides you towards your bedroom. She stops you at the foot of your bed.

Her hands gingerly took a hold of the hem of your shirt. You helped guide it up and off your body. Your hands worked the buttons of her blouse. You could practically feel her heart racing with anticipation. She drops her skirt, letting it collapse to the ground in a circular heap.

You kissed her tenderly, feeling the heat rising within both you and her. You kissed her neck and then her collarbone. She took a hold of one of her bra straps and lowered it off her shoulder. You worked the other strap away and unclasp the back.

Wanda let it fall away. And there she stood before you: a goddess. Beautiful in ways she couldn’t comprehend and yet she chose to love you.

Your doe gently pushes you down to your bed. Her nimble fingers make quick work of your shorts. A little gasp escapes her lips but she calmly puts one leg over your hips and straddles you. 

Your doe slid one of the contraceptives you bought onto you. You could feel her heart racing even faster.

Your doe tries to balance herself. She lets out a nervous little laugh, her eyes shown only love and adoration for you.

“Are you sure about this, my doe?” You ask, making sure this is what she wants. She gives you a kiss and then nods happily.

“C-Can I hold your hand?” She whispered. With one hand, you take her hand in yours, interlocking your fingers. With the other hand, you place it gentle yet firm on her hips, just trying to make sure Wanda stays safely up.

And then came the connection, Wanda’s eyes rolled back as she began moving her hips against yours. Little moans escaped her lips. Her rhythm began slowly, a little awkward. But then it found the right pace, the right motion. You and Wanda fit together like two puzzle pieces, perfect in its connection, like you were made for each other.

“(Y/N)!” She moaned, “how could I have gone this long without you?!”

“Wanda” her name left your lips like a hidden prayer.

You and your doe were in heaven. Finding the right place, the right rhythm together. You made sure to watch her expressions, making sure that it was just as pleasurable for her as it was for you.

“You’re perfect,” she found herself screaming, “oh! You’re perfect!!!”

“You’re a goddess” you whispered in her ear as you bent up and kissed her neck and collarbone. She purrs and whines with your touch.

Your hands gently explore her body, her silky smooth body. She rocked against you up and down, lost in the moment. One of your hands wandered up and gently caressed her antlers. Her tail swished and twitched with delight.

“C-can we switch places?” Your doe asks with a little blush. You simply nod and switch spots with her. Her reddish brown hair graces your pillow as the two of you continue your rhythmic dance of love.

She places the heels of her feet on the lower part of your back. She didn’t want you leaving anytime soon.

“Please” she begged, “k-keep going” her gentle moans spur you to keep going, renewing your energy.

You kept up the rhythm, each motion was driving your doe further and further, higher and higher. You could feel you were getting close and so was she.

“Faster, please” she was begging, to which you happily obeyed.

“D-detka,” she was gently whining. “W-what…what is this—“

Suddenly you could feel your body seize up as she did too. Wanda’s head throttled back against your pillow. Her fingers gently grasped your back, holding to you for dear life. Her lips formed a perfect O. Her closed eyes reflected pure euphoria in that moment. A gentle cry of pleasure left her lips.

It was so beautiful. Your own eyes shut tight as waves of pleasure and euphoria overtake you. You open your eyes and come face to face with her hazel-emerald eyes. Her irises reflected eternity.

You leaned down and kissed her neck tenderly, hitting just the right set of nerves to illicit a gentle whine from your mate.

You collapses onto the bed next to her. Wanda giggles happily as she turned over into your embrace.

Your doe nuzzles you, giggling in your arms, her heartbeat matches yours in perfect synchronicity.

“Our hearts,” she whispers, “they beat as one”

“As they always should” you kiss her head tenderly and rub her bare back in reassuring circles.

“What was that feeling?” She asks you, looking up at you with curiosity.

“Hmm?”

“When we were mating, I-I had this feeling that built in my stomach and then it…it just exploded and it felt amazing.”

The thoughts in your brain fired off, you realized that you had given her an orgasm, on your first time together. You couldn’t help but smile.

“Had you ever felt that before?” You asked her. Wanda simply shook her head and giggled.

“No, it was amazing though.” She smiles at you, “I hope I can feel it again”

You pulled her close and kissed her softly. You had given your mate her first orgasm, an amazing achievement in your mind. You couldn’t help but smile.

Wanda looked at you with a hint of a blush, “how quickly could we mate again?”

You blush, “you wanna mate again?”

She giggles and nods. You kiss her tenderly and nuzzle her. Wanda grabs the box of contraceptives, she was really going to enjoy her time with you. It would take a couple minutes but it was no problem for you or her.

You quickly discovered that Wanda was an insatiable kind of doe. Even after a few rounds, she couldn’t get enough of you. Even following you into the shower the next morning just to show you how much she loves you. This was a new avenue of your love for each other that she was eager to learn and explore with you.

You loved your mate, you’d do anything to make her happy, make her feel loved. The love you have for each other was like a beautiful canvas, one that you would paint together.

Tags @lifespectator @family-house-of-m @aloneodi @revanshand @russianredassassin @holiday-house-of-m @iiconicsfan25 @supercorpdanbeau @scarletquake-n7 @multi-fandom-enjoyer @pinklawyerwinnerzonk

[spenglernot]

STORIES TELLING: NED LOWE AND THE DEATH OF POOR REPRESENTATION IN OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH

In history, Ned Lowe was one of the most sadistic and violent pirates in the early 18th century, so he’s an obvious choice for a villain for season 2, episode 6 – Calypso’s Birthday.  What is interesting is what the OFMD writers chose to do with him.

Lowe announces himself to the crew of the Revenge with great fanfare (cannon ball attack) and gets right to the point.

Ed is thoroughly unimpressed.

Cut to Ed and Stede tied up while Ned attempts to set the mood so he can monologue about why he wants to kill Ed.

Ed knows what’s coming. He is going to suffer but he still can’t be arsed to meet Ned with anything but vaguely bored dismissiveness (and Stede is happy to play along).

Up on the deck, Ned prepares the crew for his big, dramatic moment of symphonic torture.

Note that the Revenge crew is tied down, braced by vices and generally unable to protect themselves from imminent torture and possible death, but their spirits are up. They don’t seem terribly fussed.

Then Stede uses his people positive management style to happily orchestrate a worker uprising in Ned’s crew.

Ned’s crew responds instantly; severing their allegiance to Lowe and telling him off.

The crew sails away and talks profit sharing while Ned dully threatens to hunt them down.

Ned is now a prisoner of the Revenge crew and seems entirely disinterested in his own survival.

And Ned sinks to the depths, without struggling at all.

There is a lot going on in this episode: pay and labor equity direct action, gay love engagement bliss, kink humor, Stede being a hero and saving his crew by playing to his strengths, then having to decide whether to kill in cold blood and feel the consequences of that choice. Ed having one more reason to be done with piracy (while being so impressed with and fond of Stede), and then watching his man make a fraught choice and having to deal with the fallout from that. (And, damn, I haven’t even mentioned the passionate sex bit.) Anyway, back to the point.

Now for the the meta part

The Ned Lowe sequences are perfectly in keeping with OFMD’s signature blend of madcap violence, humor, and big emotional gut punches. But something about Ned Lowe just strikes me as off for this show.

Ned is seriously threatening the crews’ lives, so why don’t they take him seriously?

Why does Ned have such a boring, throwaway backstory?

Why is Ned so nonchalant about his own death; like it’s a foregone conclusion?

Why does Ned have a silver violin and silver spurs on his slip-on dress shoes?

Why is Ned sartorially monochromatic?

And then I realized who Ned reminds me of.

This guy,

Earnst Stavro Blofeld in the James Bond film Diamonds are Forever (1971)

And this guy,

Scar in Disney's The Lion King (1994).

And this guy,

Xerxes, 300 (2006).

And it sure seems like Ned Lowe isn’t just an episodic villain. He is an archetype of the one-dimensional, stereotypical queer-coded villain that has been endemic in film and television throughout history. The OFMD writers have a lot to say about what to do with this kind of character:

Don’t respect him.

Feel free to openly mock him.

Don’t let him take your joy, even though he will hurt you.

He won’t disappear on his own. You have to throw something at him (take action) to make him go away.

Once he’s in the water, he’s content to drown. He’s not into what he’s doing any more than you are.

Oh and, just to be clear,

The LGBTQIA+ community has a very long history of turning shit media into better stories. So, hey, big media, prepare to have your crap characters wrecked (improved).

Now, back to our transformative pirate show with rich, complex queer characters and a multi-layered plot that surprises me every week and makes me feel big feelings - most of all, joy.

Final thought: I do wonder if Ned Lowe is monochromatically silver as a tribute to/poke at, Hollywood and the silver screen.

This meta was written before OFMD season 2 has fully aired. No idea what’s going to happen in the finale (and I’ve generally fled social media to avoid spoilers). I’ll be back, looking at everyone’s fascinating posts after episode 8 airs.

[marauder-misprint]

Tea

Sirius Black x gn!reader

Microfic - 642 words

cw: fluff

The flat that you share with Remus is empty when you get home from work. There’s a note on the kitchen counter that says he’s over at James and Sirius’. You smile to yourself because even after living together for seven years, they were still always with each other. But that was a large part of why you rented flats in the same building. Those boys were bonded for life and you were brought along for the ride. 

You head to your room to shower. You take your time undressing and waiting for the water to warm up. Anything less than scalding was too cold. About halfway through your routine, just over the sound of water, you hear the front door open and close. Remus must be back. You finish your shower, put on your robe and head into the kitchen to make your usual post-work tea, but you stop dead in your tracks  at the end of the hallway.

“Sirius?” you gasp, wrapping your robe tighter around your body. For once, you wished you had gotten dressed before going to start your tea. 

Instead of seeing Remus slightly slouched on the couch with his legs extended under the coffee table as you had expected, you see Sirius laying across the cushions with a pillow under his arm as he watches TV with the volume low. 

He looks up at you briefly, giving a wide smile before turning back to the TV. You stare at him momentarily in surprise, unsure why he is in your flat, especially when Remus is supposedly at his. It wasn’t like Sirius never came over to your flat. It was just unusual for him to do so when Remus wasn’t there. As you stare at him, a curl falls into his face and he leaves it there, semi-blocking his vision. If you had been closer, you would’ve tucked it behind his ear. Your face burns red at the thought. Tea. I’m making myself tea. You regain the ability to move and go to put the kettle on in the kitchen as you originally intended to. While the water heats, you retreat to your room to change into your pajamas which consist of shorts and an old t-shirt that you think once belonged to Sirius, maybe James. You ended up with a lot of the boys’ old clothes from spontaneous sleepovers at their homes during the summer. 

Once decent, you return to prepare your tea. You grab two mugs and bags of earl grey tea. Of course, you had added extra water to the kettle so you could make Sirius a cup too. He always wanted tea if someone else was having a cup too. With both mugs, you go to join Sirius on the couch. You hold out a mug for him, which he takes as he moves to sit up, making room for you. 

As you sit, you say, “I think Remus is at yours.”

“I know. He is,” Sirius replies and takes a sip of the tea. “He’s discussing Lily’s surprise party with James and apparently I was being too loud.”

You smile and drape a blanket over your legs. “So you decided to be quiet over here? I didn’t know you were here until I saw you.”

He shrugged. “Haven’t seen you in a while.”

“You literally saw me yesterday.”

“Yeah, but did we talk? No. I feel like I never get to spend time with you anymore since you got that job.” He paused. “How did you know I wanted tea?”

“Because if there’s anything certain in this life, it’s that Sirius Black will always drink a mug of earl grey if it’s handed to him. And if I didn’t have said job, I wouldn’t be able to live in this building. Not all of us have trust funds to fall back on.”

[moriartyluver]

Hello🙋 it's me yet again. How's it going?

Are you still taking requests? If you aren't, please ignore this.

If you are, could I please request a William x Reader oneshot? I got inspired by that poker chapter (I hate Johnson).

So, one night, William, Albert, Moran and Bond decide to play poker, and the winner will be recieving a kiss from William's wife (they somehow persuaded her to do it💀). So, William pulls some intelligent shit (I'm stupid, ok?) and obviously wins. Bonus, he asked reader to sit in his lap for good luck🤭.

I really hope this is not confusing and thank you very much! ❤️🥰

A/N: I’m still taking requests dw 😭 this request got me giggling and blushing omg 🤭 I’d sell my soul to get to sit on liams lap 🛐 (I hate Johnson too)

Character(s): William James Moriarty x fem! Reader

Format: oneshot

Genre: fluff + spicy

Prompt: above^^

Warnings: established relationship (marriage), reader is female, gambling??, a little bit spicy. Way too short 😞

“POKER?”

“That’s right, darling. We’d invite you to join but..” William trailed off as you scanned the table. Fred and Louis were observing while Bond, your husband, Moran and Albert were all sat around a table, the poker set out.

“But what?” You asked, feeing slightly left out. “Because I’m a woman?” You were half joking but everyone knew that playing games like cards or poker were not very ladylike.

Bond shook his head “You’re the prize, (nickname). The prize can’t be playing because then what shall you get if you win? It’d make more sense for you to watch instead.”

You raised a brow in confusion. You? The prize? What on earth was that supposed to mean?

“When you say it like that, it makes you sound perverted.” Moran commented from beside Bond, a subtle smirk on his face.

You look over to William as if demanding an explanation. He smiled sheepishly, it wasn’t him who had declared the bet and he’d much rather not have you on the line.

“What Bond meant to say was that the winner is supposed to get a kiss from, you, (name).” Albert explained with a smug look and a sip of wine as usual, watching his little brother furrow his eyebrows in slight irritation from beside him. “Nothing too extreme, just a little peck on the cheek.”

Clearly he had some of not all the responsibility of creating the prize. Albert wasn’t as much of a mastermind as William was, but God, he had the tendency to meddle and scheme in other peoples lives whenever it could provide entertainment.

You looked at him with wide eyes. “I didn’t agree to this! You can go bet on something else,” then you paused “Nevermind that, as the lady of the house, I’d much rather not have any gambling take place within the estate, or anywhere for that matter. Haven’t you learned anything after that run in with Mr Johnson?”

“Oh don’t be like that, (name), it’s just for fun.” Moran laughed, although there was a slightly guilty tone in his voice, like a child caught misbehaving “Besides, we all know Louis acts more like the lady of the house much more than you do.”

Louis glared at the colonel then rolled his eyes while you held back a snort from his reaction.

You sighed begrudgingly “If you insist..but if I do, then the loser has to do all of my chores for the next month.”

“Two weeks.” Louis negotiated with a stern look.

“Deal.”

Fred was about to pull a stool out for you to sit on but was stopped by William calling out to you. He had his evil (yet attractive) little mischievous smile on so you knew he was planning no good. Chances were, he was probably going to win if Moran didn’t cheat as usual but with a kiss from you up for grabs, he had become even more competitive and determined to win. Both because he adored any scrap of affection he could receive from you, and because he dreaded the idea of you kissing anyone but him, even if it was strictly platonic.

“Come sit here, my dear,” He said, patting his thigh. The corners of his lips were turned upwards “I need my lucky charm to help me win your affections.”

“Do I have to?” You groaned, clearly flustered by the idea.

“Please?” He pleaded, looking at you with a teasing yet innocent expression. You gave in, walking over to him and sitting on his lap while your husband wrapped his arm around your waist, securing you in place. You look at him as if to say ‘you’re lucky I love you.’

“L-Let the game commence.” You said, hoping not to draw attention to your flushed expression as you played off your stutter

“Damn.”

“Oooh, unlucky Bond,” Albert chuckled as James frowned at his loss.

It was finally William’s turn as he was sat beside Bond and the turns went clockwise.

“Your turn, dear.” You said, hand on his shoulder. You could see a smirk forming on his face. One that he would usually wear whenever he would bring corrupt nobles to justice or read of Sherlock’s work in the paper or whenever you would tease him. A smirk he would proudly wear with satisfaction.

You peer over to look at his cards, eyes widening momentarily. You look back at your lover’s face as his eyes land on you. William gives you a wink, ever so smug from what is seconds away from being a win. You had been observing him the entire game, and yet he still managed to get his way as usual.

His hand clutched his cards, ready to spread them over the table while his other hand caressed your waist, thumb massaging the soft flesh over your clothes.

Everyone had been waiting in anticipation, silently observing your reaction aswell as William’s. It was a general presumption that he would win though, partially due to his intellect, partially due to his possessive nature.

“Royal flush.” William stated nonchalantly as he spread his cards on the wooden table.

Moran tossed his cards to the ground in anger, clearly because he had the potential to win if William wasn’t so damn lucky (not for the sake of being kissed, just for the fact he was once again so close to beating William but just not close enough) James has his hand cupped in his cheek, glad Moran didn’t win whilst Albert could care less, he just wanted another glass of red wine.

William could only smile, hoping not to appear boastful despite how badly he wanted to brag, not because he won, but because you were going to kiss him. Although it seemed you had forgotten that now because of how proud you were that he won.

“It seems I’m much deserving of a prize now,” William whispered to you, pulling you closer to him “Don’t you agree my love? I did play so well just for you.”

You pause, recalling the original deal. You hesitantly nod, still annoyed that you were the prize because if you weren’t, you probably would have won anyways.

“Fine.” You groan, leaning forward to press a kiss to his cheek.

Except you don’t.

The cheeky bastard turned his head at just the right moment, possibly intentionally, for your lips to land on his. Wolf whistles echo through out the room along with a “get a room” from Moran who recovered from his loss.

You pull away gently, tapping William I’m a faux scolding manner before sticking your tongue out at Moran, about to hurl some insults before William kisses you once more.

[the-iceni-bitch]

He Gives Me Everything and Tenderly…

Pairing: detective!bottom Bucky Barnes x younger!top male reader (Sarge and Officer Beefcake, NLLYL AU)

Words: ~5k

Summary; Bucky is just fine on his own. He really is. He’s used to it. Even after meeting you and thinking about you a whole bunch, he’s still fine. And he does not appreciate his friends’ meddling.

Warnings: explicit language, explicit sexual content (mentions of male masturbation, salad tossing, protected anal sex, spit as lube and lube as lube, kinda public sex), meet cute, reverse age gap, tall/beefy male reader, bottom!Bucky Barnes, Bucky is grumpy, hints of angst, love at first sight? lots of friendly teasing, m/m relationship, SMUT!! 18+ ONLY!!

A/N: Welp, this was something I wrote entirely in one sitting and I can’t say I’m mad about it at all. This is my first ever male reader fic and I am both incredibly nervous and very excited to share it with all of you! Big ass thanks to the absolutely amazing @howdoyousleep3 for hyping me up and providing some much appreciated perspectives (remember lube, people!)

I am no longer doing taglists so if you want to stay up to date on all the latest filth, follow my sideblog @the-iceni-library and turn on notifications!

Bucky was exhausted. A long ass shift at the end of a long ass week and he was done, looking forward to going home and drinking a cold beer on his couch while he didn’t talk to anyone for a whole 48 hours. God, he hated people.

Except Darcy, and the cute little peach. Even though he wanted to get the fuck out of there he still stopped by the dispatch desk to chat with his girls and let them cheer him up a little.

“Hey Sarge!” He shook his head when Darcy called him that, her stubborn insistence to call him by his military rank after however many years just one of the many things that endeared her to him. “You look like shit, you finally getting out of here? Maybe gonna see someone special tomorrow?”

“The only people he’ll be seeing are Sam Adams and Johnnie Walker, maybe James Bond… hey!” The peach gave him an adorable scowl when he threw a paper clip at her, rubbing her cheek where it had hit her and sticking her tongue out at him before turning her attention back to her screen. “Don’t act like I’m not right, I’m there every time you drunk dial Nat while you’re binge watching old movies and lamenting your lack of a love life.”

“Tell your girlfriend to quit putting me on speaker or I’m gonna call her ex to chat from now on.” Bucky grinned when she rolled her eyes at him, bringing his attention back to Darcy and sighing when she was giving him a sympathetic pout. “Don’t look at me like that, I’m fine. I like being alone.”

“You’re lying, but fine.” Darcy shrugged at him, grinning when there was a sudden commotion at the doors and a mess of recruits came charging through into the hallway after Sam. “Hi Sammy, boys! Ooh, hey there beefcake, you run laps around all those slugs on the course again?”

“Maybe.”

Bucky choked when you were standing next to him, trying not to ogle you swathed in those gray sweats and feeling like the world’s dirtiest old man all of a sudden. “They’re getting better, starting to catch up. You shouldn’t call them slugs, Darce.”

“Please, like Wilson hasn’t called them worse, you’re too nice.” Peachy girl grinned when she turned in her chair again and saw Bucky looking like his jaw was about to hit the floor. “Have you met Detective Barnes, beefy?”

“Haven’t had the pleasure.” Bucky took in your name with an almost hysterical laugh when you reached out and shook his hand, not entirely sure what had come over him as he felt his neck getting unbearably hot and struggled to come up with something to say. “Well, I’ve gotta hit the showers, always lovely talking to you ladies.”

“Bye!” Both of them were grinning wickedly at Bucky once you were gone, chuckling when he just spluttered nonsense and looked at the floor. “What the fuck was that, Bucky?”

“Shut up.” He was flabbergasted, he’d never felt such an unbelievable attraction to someone right off the bat, except, once. But he never thought about that. “It wasn’t anything.”

“Oh, nothing at all?” Darcy was still grinning when Bucky growled at her, shaking her head and leaning back in her chair while the peach kept laughing. “So you weren’t staring at his ass when he walked away?”

“Of course not.” It had only been a little bit, you were so fucking tall your ass was impossible to miss, and so high and tight and… no, nope. “What the hell kind of nickname is beefcake, anyway?”

“You saw him.” Peach was practically cackling at this point, the redness on Bucky’s face so entertaining she was considering taking a photo to send to Nat. “The man is grade A USDA prime meat, what would you like us to call him?”

“You’re a couple of pervs.” Bucky just scoffed and ignored them when they told him it takes one to know one, flipping them off over his shoulder and almost forgetting his bag when he stormed out of the precinct to start his much needed alone time. “Inappropriate, gonna talk to HR about you two!”

If it had just been the one interaction, Bucky probably could’ve handled it. Yeah, he had jerked himself off thinking about your broad shoulders and tiny waist and that masterpiece of an ass, but only once, okay three times. But it was just over the weekend, he’d forget about you eventually.

Except for the fact that suddenly he was seeing you everywhere. Every damn time he was in the precinct, there you were, smiling that slightly crooked smile and laughing and making every person light up when you walked through the room. And in the fucking sweats every time, it was like torture. Torture that was made worse by the fact that Darcy and peach were always grinning at him like they knew something he didn’t, and they had apparently told Sam whatever they supposedly knew, so now that man was basically parading you in front of Bucky’s desk every chance he got and making him talk to you and get to see how fucking charming you were. He hated it.

“I do, I love cats!” Sam was chatting with you right in front of Bucky’s desk again and he was plotting how he could get away with murdering the man. “Have a little ginger idiot at home who has maybe two braincells, but he’s my baby.”

“Wow, that’s adorable.” Bucky almost growled at Sam when he grinned at him. “Bucky has a kitty of his own, don’t you, Buck?”

“Yes.” Sometimes he even hated his friends, this was ridiculous.

“I love that, knew you were a cat person.” Bucky almost groaned when you placed your hand on the desk so close to his, looking up at you through his lashes and trying so hard not to melt into his chair when he saw you smiling at him. “What’s her name?”

“Alpine.” You smelled so unbelievably good, Bucky had an incredible urge to lean up and bury his face in your neck, but managed to just turn the photo of his cat around to show you instead. “She’s three.”

“She’s gorgeous.” You winked and Bucky almost swooned, there was something wrong with him. “Shit, I’ve gotta get out of here, got a birthday party to get to. It’s always real nice talking to you, Detective.”

“You too.” Bucky swallowed thickly and shook his head when you walked away, his scowl coming back immediately when he saw Sam looking like he just ate a damn canary as he smirked at him. “Shut up.”

“Didn’t say anything.” Sam chuckled when Bucky just hunched over his paperwork and tried to ignore him. “Buuuuut… hoo boy, you like him.”

“I do not.” Murder was the only answer to these affronts. “He’s too young.”

“Bullshit, is peach too young for Nat?” Sam snorted when Bucky just grumbled under his breath, rolling his eyes at the man’s stubbornness. “You like like him, you need to get over that massive hang up, Barnes, it’s holding you back!”

“Man, fuck you!” Bucky jumped when he realized that Sam wasn’t there anymore, so he was just yelling at the bullpen, every member of the team giving him looks of varying amusement before they bent back to their work. “Sorry.”

It was a legitimate hang up, especially when it came to you. Because you reminded Bucky of him.

Specifically of when he was young, when Bucky first realized he was in love and overlooked all of his flaws and just wanted to be wrapped up in him all the time in spite of the fact the man would only look at Bucky like his old friend who he could tell about every single disgusting conquest he made. And that meant you were dangerous. Bucky refused to do that to himself again, it had taken him too long to get over that malicious bastard, and nothing had hurt him more than the realization that he had wasted so much time loving someone who barely gave a fuck about him. He didn’t care how sincere and charming you seemed, he wasn’t going to fall for that same shit all over again.

But it didn’t stop any of his friends from dragging you in front of him at every opportunity, and even though he was polite and listened to you and answered all your questions, it didn’t stop him from snarling at them as soon as you were gone. He didn’t care what they thought he needed, he was fine.

He wasn’t lonely. He didn’t wake up grinding his hips into his mattress after dreaming of sharing his bed with you. He didn’t wonder what you would look like with soft morning light falling across your face while both of your cats jumped on you and Bucky made you breakfast. They all needed to worry about their own lives and quit fucking with his.

Which is why he should have been suspicious as hell when Nat and her little peach and Darcy insisted on taking him out for drinks on a Friday night. All of them together. At a dive bar that was typically just cops. Like they didn’t usually go uptown and dress up.

“Well, look at that, is that Sam?” Darcy bounced on her toes and waved when she spotted Sam with all of his recruits, her and peach squealing while Bucky shot Nat an exhausted look. “Gosh, I completely forgot they’re celebrating the academy graduation, what are the chances?”

“Shocking.” Bucky couldn’t stop growling when Nat just shrugged at him. “I can’t believe they dragged you into their scheming, Romanoff.”

“They’re young and excited, it’s cute.” Nat wrapped her arm around Bucky’s shoulders and started pulling him towards the group. “Besides, you deserve someone nice, and to spend the night with someone besides Alpine.”

“Alpine doesn’t take up that much room on the bed, and I like to spread out.” Bucky just resigned himself to having a miserable night, even when you gave him an easy smile once you laid eyes on him and waved eagerly. “And he might not be nice.”

“Buck, you won’t know unless you give him a chance.” Nat sighed as she rested her chin on her best friend’s shoulder, pinching his cheek and trying to get him to at least give her a grudging smile. “And you know how good my asshole radar is, I’m getting no pings from the beefcake.”

“Yeah, alright.” Bucky steeled himself when you started walking his way, feeling a little tight in his chest and watery in his eyes as he did his best to give you a smile. “Hi.”

“Hi Detective.” Your smile got even wider when Nat introduced herself, shaking her hand warmly then turning back to Bucky and crossing your arms over your massive chest. “Can I get you a beer?”

“I don’t…” Bucky caught himself when Nat looked at him expectantly and blew out a deep breath. “Yeah, a beer would be great.”

“Fantastic, for you too?” You winked at Nat when she nodded before hurrying off to get their drinks with an undeniable bounce in your step that Bucky found he enjoyed very much.

“Listen, Buck.” Nat gave you a very thorough look while you waited at the bar, wrapping her arms around her girl when she came to sit on her lap and Darcy sat across from them. “Even if it doesn’t last, you’re a special kind of idiot if you don’t at least have sex with that man.”

“Jesus Christ.” Bucky felt himself blush up to his ears when all of the women just nodded enthusiastically and started detailing what the two of you should do to each other. “You three are worse than frat boys, oh my god.”

“C’mon, sarge…” Darcy snapped her mouth shut when you came back with Bucky’s and Nat’s drinks, giving Bucky a meaningful look and making a little circle with her thumb and forefinger then pushing her opposite finger through it while your back was turned until Bucky felt like he was in fucking high school. “Hi beefcake!”

“Hi Darce!” You were sitting so close to Bucky he could smell you again, he had to start chugging his beer so he didn’t reach out to bury his fingers in your hair. “I’ve always wanted to ask, why does she call you ‘sarge’?”

“Oh, it was my rank when I was discharged.” Bucky couldn’t handle the way you were looking at him, like he was the most interesting thing in the room, he wanted to fall into your eyes and get lost. “From the army. Darcy’s sister served with me, so she knew me then and the nickname stuck.”

“I didn’t know you served, my dad was in the marines.” You could see Bucky starting to tense up and bless you, you backed off, keeping that easy smile on your face while you nudged his foot with yours. “It’s okay, that’s not something we have to talk about right now, tell me about Alpine, how’s the little lady doing?”

“She’s- she’s good.” Something about the way you instantly pivoted the conversation and didn’t make Bucky feel like an ass for almost clamming up had him relaxing pretty much instantly, grinning back at you and rolling his eyes a little playfully when he thought about his little furry troublemaker. “She’s a brat, but good. Almost gave me a heart attack last week when she somehow managed to climb up to the ceiling beams in my apartment.”

“Oh shit! Really?” You chuckled warmly when Bucky just nodded and took another sip of his beer, plucking at the edge of the label on your bottle and leaning forward a little so you could hear him better. “She get down on her own or did you have to get a ladder?”

“Well, after six hours of pleading and begging, I did finally manage to entice her with some tuna.” Bucky kept watching your face closely, the earnestness he was so wary of constant and never wavering while you listened to everything he said intently. “She’s too smart for her own good, I swear.”

“Fuck, I can’t decide if my situation is better or worse.” You laughed when Bucky scoffed, pushing at his shoulder and shaking your head when he looked at you with mock offense. “No, I love my boy, but he’s a dumbass of epic proportions. The most worrisome thing he’s ever done is get his whole head stuck in a mason jar. Theodore is an idiot.”

“Theodore?” Bucky was vaguely aware of movement next to him after he emptied his beer and set down the bottle, but he couldn’t stop watching your lips move. “That’s adorable.”

“Aw, yeah, my niece named him.” Your smile got even wider somehow and it was making Bucky melt, another bottle of beer appearing seemingly out of nowhere on the table and immediately finding its way to his lips. “It’s her favorite chipmunk.”

Cats. Talking about your fucking cats was apparently the kick in the ass Bucky needed to let almost all his concerns about having anything with you go, letting himself relax and be easy while you told him all these sweet, endearing little things about yourself. How much you loved your niece and how much of a star she was at figure skating. How good you were at baking and you didn’t care what he said, you were baking him a loaf of sourdough to prove it. How you played three different instruments and spoke two languages. You were too goddamn interesting.

And you managed to get him to talk about himself too. How close he was with his sister and mother and how much he loved seeing them as often as possible. How he secretly enjoyed knitting and always made sweaters for the family at Hanukkah but would kill you if you told anyone about his hobby. How he collected old records and could spend whole days just listening to music and drinking good whiskey.

Bucky was more than a little thrilled that you seemed to be hanging on his every word and scooting closer to him until you were right next to him and your shoulders were practically touching.

He had lost track of how many beers he’d consumed by the time people started dancing, but he knew it wasn’t too many as he was just very pleasantly buzzed and staring at your plump, kissable, pillowy lips and wondering what it would be like to suck on them.

“Hey, James.” Bucky had just told you his first name and for some reason the fact that was what you were choosing to call him was making him dizzy. “You wanna dance with me?”

“Oh, um…” Bucky chewed on his lip while he thought it over, he had two left feet when he was sober, and he also wasn’t sure he would be able to control himself if you put your hands on him. “I don’t know…”

“Hey, no pressure.” You winked like you did every time you said something disarming and Bucky decided that he loved that about you. “Just wanted to ask, but if all you want is to talk, that’s a-okay.”

Bucky was struggling with himself. You barely seemed disappointed, it had maybe flashed across your face for a second, but he believed you when you said it was okay. You even leaned back against your chair to give him space, zero hints of malice in your expression and just that perfect, easygoing look that made Bucky feel like you were fine taking no for an answer and you would never hold it against anybody.

And for some reason, that finally sealed it for Bucky that you weren’t him.

“I wanna dance.” Bucky winced when he almost knocked over his bottle when he set it down, grabbing your hand and pulling you to your feet so he could drag you towards the makeshift dance floor. “Let’s go.”

Your laugh made Bucky beam at you over his shoulder, humming along to the music and turning to face you once you were in the middle of it. His breath caught when you were right there, letting you frame his waist with your hands and pull him even closer while you started rolling your hips to the music. Bucky very quickly decided that he liked having your hands on him, shaking his head and gripping your wrists to keep you in place when you tried to lean back before he slid his palms up your arms and over your chest.

Somehow, even though he knew you were big, your massive size hadn’t fully registered in Bucky’s brain until he was in such close proximity to you. It’s not like Bucky was small by any means, he hit the weights, he never skipped arm day, he’d even been called beefy himself a few times. But you… goddamn. You were like nothing Bucky had ever seen before. He was starting to get woozy from it.

Then you ducked even closer and pressed your cheek against Bucky’s temple and he couldn’t help it, he gasped. He could feel your lips moving against his skin but he couldn’t hear anything you were saying, a low buzzing filling his ears while his fingers dug into your firm chest and he rolled his hips against yours. This was dangerous, he was not going to have sex with you without even a proper date, he wasn’t that easy.

He kept repeating it in his head over and over. When you slipped your arms around his waist and squeezed as you kept guiding his movements. When he buried his face in your neck and groaned when he finally got to breathe in your scent fully. When you nipped at the shell of his ear and made some kind of noise that sent a vibration through Bucky’s whole body. And especially when you grabbed his ass and gave such a dirty grind of your hips that made him feel how fucking hard and massive you really were.

It didn’t matter how much he repeated it though, it only took three songs before Bucky found himself with his back against a stall door in the bathroom with his pants around just one of his ankles and his toes barely brushing the floor while he practically sat on your face.

One of his knees was flung over your shoulder while you licked at his hole, his whole body shivering when you hummed against his skin and dug your fingers into his thighs and he didn’t even care that he was getting eaten out in a public bathroom and enjoying it quite loudly.

“God, I knew you’d be fucking sweet.” You growled but barely pulled back, gripping the thigh that was on your shoulder and pushing it up until it was pressed to Bucky’s side so you could see his face. “You taste so goddamn good, James, once I get you in bed I’m gonna make a full meal out of this ass, shit.”

“Oh… Jesus Christ.” Bucky could barely breathe when your mouth was on his hole again, he could feel your jaw working while you moved your lips and tongue like you were making out with him, all while you kept your intense eye contact and let his cock rest on your face like you didn’t even care. “Oh my fucking god.”

Bucky could feel your chuckle when a whine escaped from his throat without his permission, his eyes rolling when your tongue fluttered all around his twitching skin before you were dragging it over his hole again and sucking until Bucky almost squealed. But then your tongue punched into him and the squeal was ripped out of his chest, his breath heaving almost painfully while you fucked him with the thick muscle until his dick started leaking and twitching against your forehead. It was insane that you were so good at this, you were so young, but your mouth worked like you were a fucking pornstar and it had Bucky feeling some kind of way.

“You’re gonna let me fuck you, James.” It didn’t sound like a question, you were telling him, your face serious while you licked your way up his taint until you could nip at his balls while you slid a finger inside him. “I need it, need to feel you come on my cock, god, you’d better fucking hold it until I’m inside you or I’m gonna spank you, I swear to fucking god.”

“Yeah… yeah, oh my god, please.” Bucky felt like he was losing his mind when you sucked on his balls and pushed a second finger inside him, his legs shaking and his eyes rolling back in his head while he grabbed your hair and held on for dear life. “Oh shit… fuck me, I can hold it, I’ll be good, just fuck me.”

You leaned your cheek against his hip and kept grinning at him while you reached your free hand into your wallet to grab a packet of lube, chuckling when Bucky huffed at you when you ripped it open with your teeth and squirted it all over the fingers you were plunging into his ass.

“You brought lube with you?” Bucky was trying to remain huffy but it was difficult when you were scissoring his hole open so slowly and shit, it felt amazing. “What exactly did you think was going to happen tonight?”

“God, I dunno, James.” You looked meaningfully at the fingers that were currently knuckle deep inside him, wiggling them a little when you looked back up at him with a cocked eyebrow and snorting when he whined. “Would you prefer I didn’t have lube right now? Because I can stop…”

“No, don’t do that.” So much for not trying to seem desperate, Bucky was panting he needed you so bad. “I’m just… talking, I’ll shut up. I can be good.”

“Yeah? You’re gonna be a good boy for me James?” What were you doing to him? Bucky couldn’t help but whimper when you spat on your fingers to slick them up even more and added a third, nodding and rolling his hips into your hand when you just barely teased his sweet spot as you kissed the inside of his thigh. “Yeah you will, my good boy, opening right up for me.”

“Mmhm, yours, oh holy shit.” The addition of your fourth finger turned Bucky’s whole body into jelly, your hold on his thigh the only thing keeping him from crumpling to the floor when you licked a wide, flat stripe up the underside of his cock. “Holy fucking shit, pleasepleaseplease…”

“Shhh, don’t you worry, James, I’ve got you.” You groaned when he let go of your hair to shove his fist in his mouth when he gave you a tortured cry, slowly pulling your fingers out of him and setting his feet on the floor so you could stand. “Turn around for me, sweet thing.”

“Yes… yes sir.” Bucky let his eyes flutter closed when you kissed his temple and turned him around, pressing his cheek against the cool metal and arching his back when you placed one hand on his hip and used the other to pull out a condom. “I need it.”

“I know, handsome.” Your voice was muffled while you used your teeth to rip the wrapper open, nuzzling into the tendrils of hair that were resting against the back of Bucky’s neck so you could kiss him there while you rolled the condom over your length and emptied another packet of lube all over your dick. “You gonna call me sir while I fuck this sweet little ass?”

“Ye-yes… oh fuck!” Bucky practically screamed when your tip just barely slipped inside him, arching his back and whining when you wrapped your arm across his throat and growled in his ear. “Fuck… ‘s big, so big, fuck me.”

“You can take it, big guy, keep being good for me.” You grinned against Bucky’s cheek when he rose on his toes as you kept going, smacking his ass and chuckling when it made him clench as you increased the pressure on his neck. “You feel fucking incredible, Jesus. Been thinking about getting you like this since the first time I saw you, you know that? Did you think about me too, James?”

“N-no.” Bucky already felt extremely vulnerable while he was split open on only half of your cock, he didn’t need to admit to you that he had been dreaming about wrapping his legs around your tiny little waist while you fucked him slow and deep. “I didn’t.”

“Pretty sure you’re a liar.” You grinned and yanked his head back at the same time you gave a final snap of your pelvis and Bucky sobbed, his body shaking violently while you rested your hips against the plush curve of his ass and dragged your tongue along his jaw while you let him adjust. “That’s okay though, big guy, you can think about this. Now, I’m gonna apologize, because this is gonna be a lot faster than I would like, but we are in public.”

Bucky didn’t have any response except a yelp when you started driving your cock into him almost viciously, his breath punched out of his lungs each time your hips bounced off his ass while you sucked on his ear. He felt like he was about to explode, your cock driving into his swollen prostate each time you bottomed out until his balls started pulling tight to his body and his cock twitched. You must have felt the change since you dropped the hand that wasn’t attached to the thick arm that was currently choking him to grab his cock and start stroking him in time with your thrusts.

“Fuckfuckfuck…” Bucky felt like such a whore but he didn’t care, turning his head as much as possible so he could rub his nose against your cheek while he whined. “I’m so close, don’t stop.”

“I’ll give you whatever you want, James.” You groaned when his hole clenched around you, squeezing his cock and his throat at the same time and kissing the corner of his lips tenderly while you gazed into his eyes. “Gonna take care of you. Can’t wait to be able to take my time, enjoy you, god, could spend a whole fucking night in this ass, you’re so goddamn warm and tight. But I need you to come for me right now, James, make a mess on my hand, lemme make you feel good, c’mon.”

The thought of you in his bed and fucking him raw and open had Bucky tumbling over the edge of his climax with a shout, his desperate noises muffled by your lips when you smashed them to his as he quaked in your arms and shot his cum all over your fingers. He sobbed when you didn’t stop stroking him even once he was milked dry, his eyes rolling back when you throbbed inside him and almost lamenting the fact that you were filling the condom instead of pumping your cum deep in his guts and determined to get to the point when he would finally get to feel all of you. As soon as you were done you were bringing your cum soaked fingers to your mouth, keeping eye contact with Bucky as you sucked his cum off them slowly and groaning at his taste then pressing your lips to his again so you could share with him.

“Jesus fuck.” Bucky couldn’t think of anything else to say, smiling almost sheepishly at you after you had pulled out of him and tossed the condom, letting you turn him around and nuzzle at his cheek before you were bending to help him step back into his jeans.

“My sentiments exactly.” You gave him another one of those winks and he wasn’t even mad when he blushed violently. “You gonna be as big of an ass about me taking you on a real date?”

“I wasn’t an ass.” Bucky huffed when you stood back up and wrapped your arms around him, nipping at your bottom lip and grinning when you growled playfully at him. “I was wary.”

“Sure.” You kissed him slow and deep and smiled against his lips when he melted into you before pulling back so he could breathe. “Pretty sure the girls and Sergeant Wilson would agree with my assessment, but we can use your word.”

“Oh shit, they’re still out there.” Bucky screwed his eyes shut and moaned at the thought of the commentary he was going to have to endure, shaking his head when you chuckled and opened the stall door to start pulling him back to the bar. “Can’t we just climb out the window or something?”

“Yeah, I don’t think either of us could fit through that window, James.” You nodded at the tiny one by one glass square and kissed his temple when he sighed defeatedly, holding his hand and letting him follow you when you opened the door. “Besides, if you think I’m not going to enjoy showing you affection in public, I’ve got some bad news.”

Bucky’s retort was cut off by an absurd amount of hollering when you opened the door, his face getting unbearably red and the desire to either tell all of your friends to shut the fuck up or just book it out of the bar overwhelming. But then your arm was around his shoulders and your lips were pressed against his temple, and maybe he could put up with his friends being smug rowdy assholes for the rest of the night if you kept smiling at him like that.

[sleepymimixx]

why isn’t james x snape more popular ? i feel like their angst could be absolutely devastating. i have to admit i have never looked into it and just thought about it watching snape’s flashback in dh. but i’m surprised i haven’t really seen it before.

(i exclusively read wolfstar, very very rarely some jegulus but i have some trouble getting into it, but i feel like severus and james could make perfect sense) (+ i have never read anything severus centric but it’s mking me really curious to look into it if you have any rec)

1) severus’s patronus is a doe, same as lily ofc, but then it also matches james’ stag !

2) ennemies to lover + gryffindor/syltherin rivalry

3) honestly i feel like it would make more sense than jegulus and could have the same vibe (sun x moon etc)

4) love triangle with lily would be devastating

5) prongsfoot angst bc sirius would absolutely not approve of severus but i could see them bond over their #family trauma after a bit

6) the prank would also be even more devastating with james in love with severus and i feel like it could explain sirius’ action even better like his anger at severus who he hates and hates what he stands for and feel like is stealing his best friend

7) and severus could also be friend with regulus, maybe he would get along well with Sirius’ parents (my heart ache for sirius angst with him feeling replaced in his own family even though he hates them and want nothing to do with them)

8) severus betraying voldemort would still make so much sense

(i still admit i feel like it’s kinda out of character for james to go for a former death eater but considering jegulus popularity, i don’t get why severus x james is not as popular)

pls tell me what you think or your hc or if you have some fic recomendations <3

[sacchxrine05]

Yuumori Characters as Disney Princesses (cus I’m bored :))

I’m gonna preface this by saying that some of these you’re just gonna have to trust me on cus I chose them just from pure vibes alone and went from there. I also haven’t re-read/watched Yuumori in a while nor have I watched any Disney movies as of late so again, just trust me bro lmao. I came up with most of these at 2am so sorry in advance.

Also, if someone has already done this, I’m sorry and I hope my choices aren’t just the same lmao.

Liam - Aurora/Sleeping Beauty

So this one is mostly just cus they both ended up sleeping for a long ass time lmao. Liam was in a coma after the fall for x months and Aurora was cursed to an eternal sleep unless her true love kissed her awake (we won’t talk about the horrors of the original fairytale, I’ve tried to blank that out of my memory tyvm). They’re also both blondes…uh huh. Aurora doesn’t have much personality that I can remember other than being an animal lover and a good singer so…that’s just all I have lmao. I also just think Liam would make a very cute Sleeping Beauty lmao.

Albert - Jasmine

I did consider giving Albert Rapunzel cus of the whole locked away in a tower thing, but outside of that and having shitty mothers (Mother Gothel wasn’t even Rapunzel’s real mother but still) there isn’t much similarity personality wise? Idk. I picked Jasmine just cus they both come from rich families yet have no patience for other rich people. Jasmine also disguised herself and went into the town/city to pretend she was a normal person and that feels kinda Albert-ish? They’re also both smart and sarcastic so Y’know.

Louis - Cinderella

This one feels kinda obvious lmao. Both were raised by awful rich people who treated them like a servant, both were orphans and both tended to the upkeep of their homes. I do think Louis has more of a backbone than Cinderella, especially towards the end of Part 1 of the manga. Also again: both are blondes lmao.

Moran - Merida

So…this one is mostly vibes but also not. I think Moran has a similar wild streak to Merida and accidentally turning a loved one into a bear because he didn’t watch his wording when asking a witch for a spell sounds like something Moran might do? Bear (hah) in mind I haven’t re-read Yuumori in a while so I may be wrong on that. Also I guess bows and arrows were the guns before guns were invented so…so there’s that lmao.

Bonde - Mulan

Feels like another obvious one? They both disguised their genders to achieve a goal (although I did interpret James to be a trans man whereas Mulan wasn’t rly? Cus she went back to presenting as female after the war so idk). They’re also both pretty outspoken and don’t care for the roles society has put them in as women and actively break that stigma (Mulan by going to war and James by often dressing as men even before he transitioned). Idk I just like this one lmao.

Fred - Snow White

Again, this is mostly vibes. I’m pretty sure Snow White is the youngest of the Disney Princesses at 14 (Don’t quote me on that cus I could be wrong), so I feel like that parallels Fred being the youngest of the Crime Gang. Snow White also has a connection to animals which can also connect to Fred’s love of cats and nature in general as he does most (all?) of the gardening. I think they’re both pretty quiet and shy and that’s all I really have lmao.

Mycroft - Megara

Okay, okay, relax, I know Megara isn’t an official Disney Princess (she SHOULD be, but whatever), but she’s the only one I could really see as being similar to Mycroft? Ya’ll are really just gonna have to trust me on this one lmao. I just think they’re both pretty independent and cynical and sarcastic and just…I really don’t know the vibes just fit, I can’t explain it.

Sherlock - Ariel

OKAY👏HEAR👏ME👏OUT. This is the only one I’m 100% confident on BSJDNKFS. They both have a niche obsession that they collect items from, Ariel with humans and Sherlock with Mysteries/Crime. They both make massive life changes for the man they love (a man which, by the way, they barely knew lmao), Ariel in becoming human and Sherlock by leaving his life, family & friends behind to live with Liam in New York. They also almost died to achieve this, Sherl from leaping off a goddamn bridge to save Liam and Ariel by her deal with Ursula. IT WORKS, I’M TELLING YOU.

That’s all I have, I was gonna do other characters but I just hit a brick wall with it lmao. (I considered John to be either Tiana or Belle, but I’ll leave that up to you 👀)

If you made it this far thank you for listening to my bullshit lmao.

[theholypeanut]

Being Ego Jinpachi’s smart daughter with zero athletic skills

Disclaimer: This is a headcanon for my bestie who is a huge Ego Stan and we joked once how “damn if Ego get a kid who is awful in sports it will be a disaster” and here I am, making it reality - this is part 1

Warning: Ego is not the best dad, Kunigami and Isagi have one braincell, for now no romo, just funny vibes, platonic

Afab!reader

○ Since the day you were born, the bar was set HIGH

○ Unfortunately the older u get the more obvious it is that your eye-legs coordination is just not existing

○ Ego is very disappointed and makes you train either way, thinking that with hard work you can still represent the level he wishes

○ Noel Noa is your godfather, but he just told Ego that maybe u will find different hobby

○ Excuse me like what?

○ However, thankfully you are very smart and developed amazing computer skills at young age

○ To bond with your dad more, you helped him with the programming of Blue Lockmans and worked hard to make the Blue Lock project work from technical point of view

○ It actually took a lot of pressure off your shoulders that your dad is so happy with progress this teenage boys are making

○ U guys have great time and you actually spend lots of time in the Blue Lock cockpit…

○ Because Damn, watching the boys is better than any telenovela on tv

○ Angst, betrayal, friendships - it has it all and you got invested af, eating popcorn while watching another episode of Team Z dramatic encounters

○ As you are similar age you also divided them into smash or pass categories in your free time

○ Until one day, because of your dad’s awful diet Anri encouraged you to go pick up some food from the Blue Lock cantine to get some actual proteins “but don’t let anyone see you”

○ Excitement went through the roof, as you cannot really leave the cockpit area

○ U wore your Blue Lock sweatshirt and sweatpants and went on your secret James Bond adventure to pick up some steak

○ Everything was doing great, because it was close to the bath/bed time, but then you accidentally met Isagi and Kunigami in the cantine and u panicked

○ However what saved u was lack of brain cells of your favourite telenovela characters

○ “Damn there are so many pretty boys in here, I didn’t think there would be another person looking like Chigiri”

○ U feel like an isekaied character just put inside your favourite novel, and decided to play your cards right

○ “ughmmm thanks bro” you lowered your voice to not get busted on the spot

○ You are absolutely clueless how anyone would take you for an athletic boy when you barely have any muscles but ok

○ U decided to eat some steak with them and try to avoid any personal questions, just asking them about their experiences so far (even when you know everything since u pretty much watch them on security cameras all the time)

○ To fish for some compliments u say stuff like “don’t u guys think the system here is amazing?? Oh my god this place is so great” but unfortunately they are just football freaks and don’t appreciate true art

○ To be fair you preferred to meet Bachira bc u liked him the most, you are a total fangirl over this bee boy, but u take what you can

○ It was getting late and you were scared that Anri would notice you on the cameras, so you decided you’d go back

○ “Oh you haven’t say from which team you are??” Isagi apparently was looking for more boys into his harem

○ “Em… Team B” you lied. “Say hi to Bachira from me” and u just waved to them and walked away.

○ After sprinting back to cockpit, apparently no one noticed how long you’ve been gone, so you deleted all of the camera footage from the encounter

○ Now just wait till they notice in second selection that there is actually, no Team B.

By slowlyholypeanut - please don’t steal, respect, don’t change

Pretty sparkles by @benkeibear thank u so much for your amazing work ✨

[ranposbabe]

Delightful | William James Moriarty x Reader

Chapter Five

So the year is 1879. Which means you are about 144 years in the past. Shamefully that took a while to calculate. You were never brilliant at maths. But still how funny. The point was that It just simply cannot be true. If it were so then that would mean…

“Time travel exists ?!” You cry, rising from the stiff bed. Though, you’re rather quick to settle back as you remember the sun only did rise a while ago. It’s the early hours of the morning and you’d prefer to at least be kicked out for being too loud after breakfast.

After what happened last night with Moran, you can only hope he didn’t give the others too much detail about almost running off. Oh what you’d do for a drink.

Your hectic thoughts are pushed aside as there’s a abrupt knock at the door. A somewhat urgent knock.

“Pardon me. These clothes are for you.”

His name was Louis, you remember.

His eyes glance down but not in a way that he’s not confident. No he looks rather occupied. Like this is one of his many tasks for this morning.

“Cheers.” You sigh, you extend your arm behind you, without a glance throwing the clothes onto the small bed. He’s rather quiet. Perhaps too quiet for your liking.

You pause as he remains standing in the doorway a certain look in his

“Can I help you with anything else ?” You raise a brow. He stands there, slightly tilting his head to glare behind you at the messy bed before simply walking off.

You step out, confused as you watch him walk off. Probably onto his next task of the day.

You turn back to grab the clothing from the bed. “What in the actual-

You hold the clothes up, well you attempt to. There’s many layers of clothing and yet there’s not even a coat !

There’s a very plain sage green skirt ? Along with an even plainer black blouse.

Such dull and depressing colours to wear.

You’re not sure if Louis intentionally picked out such colours or were you just in such a melancholy era ? Who knows.

Some time later you find yourself down in the kitchen it’s about lunchtime..you think.

The hands on the clock were a bit too small for you to read. You would be lying if you said you didn’t struggle manoeuvring around in the skirt that rested around your ankles. It was long and swished at any sudden movement and felt so awkward at the lack of free movement.

You couldn’t remember the last time you’d worn something so formal.

You would of taken offence at being forced out of your own clothes and put in new ones but you suppose you weren’t quite ready yet to discover if Louis was as stubborn as Moran was. Not yet at least.

In the kitchen you find Louis with his back turned to you. You start to wonder how often is he in here and how come you haven’t seen nor heard from the others ?

“Were you in need of something ?”

He’s rather polite yet still he does not face you. You can’t help but glare straight at his back. He’s definitely doing it on purpose.

“I thought that maybe I could help you ?”You shrug. It’s partially true yet realistically you’ve nothing else to do. You’re not willing to attempt last nights events with Moran again. As well as that, you literally don’t even know these men. All you know is that they can afford to live in such a wide space you’d could only dream of. You don’t know what jobs they work, their hobbies and interests.

You’re not exactly confident in striking up a conversation with any of them. Therefore the same can be said for them.

All they know is that some strange girl turned up out of the blue and oddly enough took you in rather quickly.

You’ve yet to discover why.

But from what you can tell all these men are so different from each other yet seem to have a strong bond.

Weren’t you also suppose to meet another man living here too ?

“I’m not entirely sure of what use you can be.”

Louis states, placing the dried tea cups in the high cupboards.

“I can sweep floors !” You’re not sure if you’re trying to convince him or yourself.

“I’m really good at sweeping floors.”

Definitely attempting to convince yourself.

At your non convincing words he finally turns to you with an uncertain look in his eyes. “Very well then.” He nods.

At that you head down the long corridors.

After some long time of sweeping dirt that doesn’t exist your mind starts to wonder.

Well, first of all you did question why Louis sent you to sweep a specific area of the man our but as you continue to sweep practically nothing it makes sense.

He must’ve already done so and is enjoying this. That bastard.

But your main focus was that if you were really in such a time period that was over a hundred from your lifetime, surely you would need proof for such.

Not exactly proof for others but more so for your own sake.

“That’s it !” You cry in joy, tossing the broom to the ground without a care in the world. “I know what to do !”

The sudden plan was to go to each seemingly empty room and search for anything out of this time periods ordinary.

From the top of your head you thought of maybe plugging sockets in the walls or perhaps-

“A phone !” You facepalm.

Why didn’t you think of this last night ?

So to the nearest room to you, you open the door and at that your nerves somehow start. While you were expecting to walk into some bedroom you find yourself in a room that seems to be a study ?

It’s empty thankfully, you hesitantly make your way in, cautiously eyeing around the room.

There’s bookshelves all around the room almost as high as the ceiling. They’re filled with hundred of books, not a single gap is found within the shelves. A fine mantle piece but what really strikes you is the fine wooden desk laid out in the centre of the room. As you slowly but surely walk closer, the eagerness to search becomes bigger.

Your eyes instantly lands on the huge newspaper laid out. A broadsheet ?

Isn’t that what they’re called ? You’re sure tabloids aren’t around in this time.

Weirdly, the paper is settled at the edge of the desk as if it was suddenly put down like whoever was reading in was in a sudden hurry and rushed off. To you it seemed that even the slightest bit of breeze would blow the newspaper over the edge of the desk. Your hand reaches out to a book placed by the newspaper.

Your hand runs over the soft velvet cover that’s painted scarlet red. As you flicker through the pages you find that it’s filled with maths ?

“Who would willingly own a book filled with maths ?” You wonder.

Just by looking at the pages you can tell its rather complex, you don’t dare to attempt to try to understand it.

Suddenly there’s a muffled sound outside the door. The sound of footsteps !

“Someone’s here !” You huff, placing the book back on the table.

It could be Louis or Fred or even Moran but you’re not willing to find out.

How can you explain being in here ?

It’s obvious to you now that this is someone’s own study and that you’ve no right to be here. You’ll be questioned as to why you didn’t just walk out as soon as you walked in.

There’s no time to think as you practically force your legs to stop the sudden shaking. Instead of taking responsibility and given a proper explanation like you should. You do the next best thing.

Hide. You’ve secured yourself under the desk. But the chair is halfway across the room maybe to help reach the higher shelf, you’re not sure. The most dumbest hiding spot ever. As if you were being jinxed, The cover sheet of the newspaper then blows over, falling over the edge of the desk. It shields you, covering you like a blanket or a veil. Those newspapers that are very tall and big enough to cover your body from view apparently.

The only give away is your feet slightly poking out.

It is only then you get to view the contents of the newspaper and despite being in slight darkness due to the sheer blocking the light, your eyes widen when reading 1879 on the sheet. Oh.

The door immediately opens and at that your heart starts to race. What are you actually doing ?!

Your right hand reaches up to press against the roof of under the desk as the sudden tightness feeling in your chest also seems to appear right under the desk.

The steps come closer every second and you fail to keep your breathing steady.

It is then a hand delicately pinches the corner of the sheet. Your eyes squeeze shut, scared of who will uncover you. The page is slowly lifted up and pulled back on the desk. Like how a groom would remove the veil off his beloved.

It feels like forever that you’re stuck in such agonising silence. You practically force yourself to open your eyes.

“Quite the peculiar hiding spot you have.”

You stare. You’re not exactly sure how long you stare for but you stare long enough that you don’t take notice of how he’s kneeling down on one knee before you. You don’t take notice of how he’s remarkably calm for someone who just found a strange girl hiding in his own study. Most of all though. His eyes that match the velvet book.

Those eyes that don’t even look real.

“So.” You pause. “You’re William I take it ?”

If only the ground could swallow you up now. “And..you’re y/n I take it ?”

He extends his hand to you and at that you notice his other hand still wears his white glove the other glove in his hand.

Shakily still you take his hand and somehow gently you find yourself pulled out from under the desk.

You attempt to wipe your skirt, not to tidy yourself up but rather in the attempt to somehow in your racing mind find an excuse that you will present to the man still eyeing you that stands before you.

With a polite smile on his face, the man you now know as William looks down at you with those unreal eyes with a certain look you must admit you’re not familiar with. You’re so caught up you don’t notice the sudden smirk that differs from the polite smile he showed to you before you averted your eyes away due to the immediate anxiousness.

“Apologies for not introducing myself until now.”

If you wish to be added to the taglist please comment below to let me know!!!

TAGLIST: @elvyshiarieko @queenofspades403 @rayonfirethe2nd

[heymickyursofine]

Snap Out of It. James “Mac” Mackreides X Fem!Reader

Summary: 5 years after the Megalodon attacks, you still haven't moved on.

Warnings: Sadness, mention of seeing dead people/deaths, mention of nightmares.

Request: hey!! i was wondering if you could write a mac (from the meg) x reader fic where the reader has ptsd after the attacks of the meg. like the reader gets nightmares and always sees images of the people who died, and how mac helps them cope? i don’t know if that makes sense😭😭 i would really appreciate it if you’d decide to write it!!

Toshi. The Wall. Dr. Heller. Dr. Minway Zhang. The names of your friends who died by way of the Megalodon.

They haunted your dreams in the worst way possible, their deaths replayed almost every night. 

You considered yourself to be the luckiest person alive when they didn’t happen, which wasn’t often. Especially since Jiuming had a pet Megalodon living in close quarters with you, the thoughts of your friends plagued your mind.

You knew the Meg that was living with you wasn’t the one who did harm to your friends, but you couldn’t help but think of them whenever you watched Haiqi. 

Jiuming had a lot of trust in her and it always made you nervous whenever he got in her enclosure, you couldn’t bear to see another friend die. 

On one particular night, you went down to the lounge, where you spent a lot of time with Meiying, and just stared at Haiqi, watching her swim in her enclosure. It became a nightly ritual after that. You had a nightmare, you went to watch Haiqi. 

The same ritual happened tonight, you snuck out of bed, put some slippers on, and quietly walked out of the bedroom to the lounge. You were thankful Mac was such a heavy sleeper, afraid of what he would say if he ever caught you. 

You followed her every move as you stood in front of the window, the moonlight illuminated the water, making her look majestic and also terrifying. You had no idea why Jiuming would ever swim with a dangerous animal like this. 

No matter what bond he says they have, or how domesticated he claims for her to be, she’s a predator and always will be. 

Were you scared of Haiqi? 

A bit, yes. 

She’s a Megalodon, how could you not be? Two Megalodon's were responsible for killing people who you admired, your friends, your family. Although, you felt guilt for having any ill feelings towards Haiqi. 

You were snapped out of your thoughts and trance by a hand clasping on your shoulder. You looked to the your side and saw Mac standing next to you. “You scared me.”

“Sorry, love. What are you doing up?” He asked, tiredly. 

“Couldn’t sleep.” Your vagueness and monotone voice threw him off. “Oh, well, are you alright?” 

You took a few seconds to answer, debating wether to lie or tell the truth. “No.” He probably would’ve known you were lying if you said yes. 

“What’s the matter?” You wrapped your arms around your midsection, trying to comfort yourself. “I can’t stop thinking about them. Seeing them.” 

“Who?” If he hadn’t woke up about 5 minutes ago he could’ve put two and two together. 

“Toshi, The Wall, Heller, Zhang. I have nightmares about them all the time.” 

“Why haven’t you told me?” 

“It’s weird. I don’t know.” 

“Why is that weird?” You hadn’t torn your eyes away from the window until then, “Because it was five years ago. I should’ve gotten over it by now.” 

“You can’t be serious. We saw our friends die. That’s not something you get over easily.” He shook his head. “I wish I could, leave it all in the rearview mirror.” 

“That’s not how trauma works.” 

“I wish it did.” 

“You can talk to me, you know. They were my friends too,” He said softly. “I know, I just don’t know how.” Your attention was brought back to the window. “You can say anything, I’ll always listen to you.” 

You sighed. “I come down here after I have the nightmares and watch Haiqi. Watch her swim around, and I just think of them. I think of how fucking crazy it is that were living with one of the animals that caused the worst moment of my life. I know she wasn’t the one responsible but it doesn’t make me feel any better about her. Everytime Jiuming gets in with her it scares me because I don’t want him to die, he can’t die, he can’t leave Meiying behind. I don’t believe she’s domesticated like he says, I don’t think we can trust her.” 

“Come here.” He opened his arms and you wrapped your arms tightly around him, closing your eyes. “Thank you for telling me that, that couldn’t have been easy.” You were silent for a bit, just enjoying his warmth before you became tired. 

“Can we go back to sleep now?” 

He laughed lightly, “Yeah, let’s go.”

—

Words from Micky - Takes place during Meg 2, hope that's alright with the anon who requested! I think this is better written than the last Mac fic but both ideas have been so good and I was excited to write them both. The next post should be part 2 of Love Potions for Benny Weir.

DEDICATED TO - @whosiris

FOLLOW MY WATTPAD: controversiallyoungf

[nokingsonlyfooles]

Head-Wigs and Not Even an Inch

Abigail Thorn made me cry last night.

I mean, I knew this was not outside the realm of possibility. I presumed she would produce a work of stunning artistic beauty and overwhelm my jaded brain with some Profound Meaning. Or, fat chance, maybe she’d trip over something I’d written and tear it to pieces like a hamster going to town on a cardboard tube. Or maybe I’d go back to London, and spill my drink on her shoes in a dark club, and she’d thrash me with a riding crop — that’s slightly more likely than someone with a decent platform noticing my writing, at this point.

But, uh, no. That’s not how it went.

We pay money to get the bonus episodes of Kill James Bond. You should too. In fact, if you don’t, you’ll be lacking some context for this. But most of my work goes out into the void without context, so to hell with it. You can watch a theatrical version of Hedwig and the Angry Inch for free, on YouTube. Or you can probably pirate the film version with a clean conscience, I don’t think any of those performers are seeing much compensation from sales at this point.

We haven’t been listening to the bonus episodes in order. We often try to watch something close to the version of whatever-film they’re doing, and then listen to the episode with context. We’ve heard them mention Hedwig, and it seemed to be a profound, emotional experience. I really wanted to see Hedwig first. Well, we found a Hedwig available for free and we watched it. They tried to update it a bit, and I found that off-putting. A lot of the tropes in play are dated — “#problematic” in some ways, and genuinely hurtful in others. If you’re going to update something like that, you can’t just throw in a reference to Harry Potter and Title 42 and call it good. Preserve it in its original messy form for us, or rewrite the whole thing — if they’ll let you.

The way the actor playing Hedwig moved and sat in her (the character uses she/her and I have no idea about the actor) short skirt bothered me too. She had shorts on underneath, but I don’t think we were supposed to know that yet. “Nobody has ever told this person how they’re supposed to sit in a skirt,” I said to the spouse. Like, it wasn’t even as if she knew and had decided to ignore it. If one were transfeminine, or faking it to get out of East Berlin, someone would’ve mentioned it. “Maybe it’s for the character,” he said. Maybe it was. You could read it that way. But there’s a read on this where transness is artifice, and I don’t like that read very much. I hope that wasn’t what they were going for.

The ending could be read that way too. It’s all very surreal and that has the potential to be read a lot of different ways, but a male (or male-presenting) actor winds up bare-chested in shorts and the female one ends in a wig and a dress and they both seem very happy about it. One could say, “Well! Glad all that gender confusion’s cleared up! Now they’ve stopped pretending to be something they’re not!” I don’t like that the possibility is left open like that. It feels slimy and centrist.

But the music was great and there were some excellent moments and I was eager to hear the whole thing get dissected by some trans folks.

About a half hour into it, they were discussing John Cameron Mitchell, who identified as a gay man at the time and has since refined it to nonbinary with he/him pronouns. Hedwig’s gender is messy — she’s a fictional character written by an enby who was still in egg form, from a time before people were expected to define their transness as binary or nonbinary. Abi acknowledged the nonbinary actor/writer/director, and mentioned that there’s a lot of pressure to define your gender neatly these days… And said, “No.” That’s not it. Hedwig is a woman like her. Period.

I had been saying to the spouse (we talk over the podcast; we get excited) that I saw a lot of myself in Hedwig’s disaster gender, and in that way you could read the ending as her deciding to stop splitting herself between her popular, cis-passing, sellout persona, and the real, messy her. And then Abi cut me off, and I said, laughing, “Oh my god, just hip-check my identity right into the orchestra pit! What… What…” And I started to cry.

I didn’t have my guard up. I didn’t expect it. And I’d never taken a hit quite this way before. This wasn’t being denied the validity of my existence, this was the validity of my artistic merit. Abigail Thorn, a demonstrably smart person with a lot of theatre experience who loves writing and acting, will not be requiring me or John Cameron Mitchell for her interpretation of Hedwig and the Angry Inch. Not even as a possible read. Please, go find yourselves in some other character, enbies. Let the transwomen have her.

…To the point where “Hansel” is treated like a modern-day deadname of a real person, when all we know for sure is that the character got rid of it to get out of East Berlin and she doesn’t use it anymore. It could be like that, but by the end of this, “Hedwig,” another name and gender she did not choose for herself, might be a deadname too. I’m not saying it has to be like that, but it’s not so ridiculous that we need to dismiss it unsaid, is it? Especially given that the goddamn originator of the character has been on a similar journey and decided to keep “John” and he/him for the moment. A person can do that and still kick their assigned gender to the curb, you know?

I didn’t need Hedwig to be about me and only me, I just needed the possibility to be left open and discussed a little bit. Another trans egg movie, but perhaps a nonbinary one this time. Like Speed Racer, it went hard and fell short! That’s all. I didn’t even know I needed that! Until Abi said I couldn’t have it.

The spouse stopped the podcast and comforted my surprised tears. He gave me a nonbinary read — which is not hard to do! — and said I deserve to be seen. I said, “I know why she said it. I do. It’s too close to their (hers and Alice’s) own experience and they don’t want to see anything else. It’s emotion-based. But… But… Nonbinary actor (and writer/director/producer/singer)! …What about Dev?” Dev really took a backseat on this one. They saw themself in Yitzhak, and Yitzhak isn’t the main character, and Abi and Alice were so into Hedwig, and they’re all friends. Yeah. I mean, I understand that too. Back off and let your friends have this one, it’s clearly important to them both.

I wanted to hear the rest of it, because it made Alice and Abi feel seen, and a lot of other trans folks too. Yeah, there’s a lot in it that aged like milk — cringy and outdated even when the film was made — but there’s a lot of valid queer experience in there, too, warts and all. I was surprised as hell that, in the end, Abi supports the “Tommy isn’t real” theory and believes this is a story about uniting one person and making yourself feel whole. And yet, she reiterated, “No.” It’s not about being nonbinary. It’s about reconciling with the male-gendered stuff you try to cut out of you when you transition. Dev and Alice were at least willing to allow that nonbinary was possible, if not quite willing to delve into it, but not Abi. Splitting yourself in two is a binary trans thing! As are many, many other things about Hedwig that I related to.

As an enby who came up with the “splitting yourself in two” metaphor while still in egg form, for a fictional character of my own who is also still in egg form, please let me tell you — please let me tell someone — that that’s not true. I didn’t meet Hedwig until last night, but I know about performing your acceptable, cis-passing, assigned gender and hiding all the “garbage” that doesn’t fit. I know what it is to be crammed into a false persona that gets a lot of love, while the real you, when you let it out, is only worthy of snarling punk lyrics into a mic at a dingy seafood restaurant with a hostile audience.

And, oh my god, do I know what it is to have a piece of you that will not come off, and prevents you from fitting fully into either binary gender. It can feel like a broken piece, like a scar, like a botched surgery you didn’t need that was inflicted on you… But it doesn’t have to be literally that. Hedwig, both the play and the person, doesn’t seem to have much use for physical reality. She’s here to unload her emotional reality, and she doesn’t care about any other real things she might damage along the way.

KJB were rather amazed that Hedwig chose to redefine herself by a (medically impossible) surgical accident. How brave of her to own her trauma like that. But I wonder, is it trauma? Or is it the only path a nonbinary egg in 1998 could see to gain an outside that expressed his inside? This isn’t what any of you wanted me to have, this isn’t even what I want to have, but it’s still me. It’s what I have to work with. (All signs point to “Tommy,” as a character, being at least a closeted gay guy who would’ve been fine if the “front of” Hedwig had been a penis, but it isn’t. It’s not quite anything at all, and he flees because that’s just too much for him to handle. Hedwig already is one of those androgynes she envies; she doesn’t need an Adam, she doesn’t need him. But she loves him/her cis-passing self, and she’s not yet ready to let him go.)

I don’t know what it is to actually try living as the other binary gender, I wasn’t active enough in queer circles to really feel that pressure to conform to the binary before I hatched. But I see it now, and I feel the same instinctive revulsion that Hedwig feels about being a divorced housewife in a trailer in Arizona. That’s not me either! Did I spend all this time and energy escaping one box, only to be trapped in another? Must I content myself with this simply because I don’t want to go back to the way I was? Is this only way I can get a green card that lets me access a queer space? To put on an ugly wig and pretend I’m more palatable?

To me, the revelation about wigs is not “I could be happy as ANY woman!” but, “This is a performance… This is all a fucking performance! This isn’t me, this is a hat someone put on my head. It comes off! I can have another hat! I can have all the hats!” And, selfishly, she denies Yitzhak that same joy, because he wears it better and seems happier. Hedwig clings to her suffering so tightly, it’s such a fundamental part of her identity, that she can’t bear to be around trans joy. No. There is no room for trans joy here, only trans spite. This story is about me. I don’t like transwomen, I don’t like transmen, and I sure as hell don’t like myself (yet)! In the end, after a lot more suffering, she’s willing to let that go.

In the end, Abi says she knows a lot of transwomen who seem to model themselves on Hedwig, and she wants them to know that isn’t how they have to be. They don’t have to choose between being just like a cis woman, or being a monstrous, chaotic, damaged other. You can be… Better than cis! Yes, says the cast of KJB, laughing, we are better than you! We are THE FUTURE! Three friends, having a ball on a podcast, trans joy at its finest — but you don’t find humour in feigning cruelty if you haven’t had some of that cruelty directed at you. This joy formed around a grain of spite. Not only does one often feel they have to be better than cis people, but when you’re still unhatched and stuck on the outside looking in, trans folks really do seem better than you. At least they know what their deal is.

I get it. I do. Because Hedwig fits me too. We all have our reasons to put on that perfectly ridiculous blonde wig and take the form of Hedwig, the Destroyer. Hedwig, the Chaotic. Hedwig, the Liar. Hedwig, the Truth. Hedwig, the Unrepentant Disaster. Hedwig, give me strength! But, it comes off. Look. It is literally a head-wig, a costume for your brain. I know sometimes you find a new wig and you really, really like it, and you become very attached and you want it to be just yours forever and ever, maybe even to the point of calling it your real hair, but… Someone else could still wear that same wig and feel just as happy as you, or maybe even happier. Maybe you’ll find a wig you like even better too. Transitioning isn’t just one and done, and Hedwigs don’t have to be forever. We do know this, don’t we?

Gender is a performance. Gender is a Hedwig. A lot of other things that you consider immutable parts of your identity are Hedwigs too. They are as real as any other social construct, but if you don’t like them or need them, you can just take them off. Sometimes it’s hard and it hurts, but I promise you can. Like Hedwig the character, or whoever that is, does. Inevitably, she must pick some new clothes, maybe new pronouns and a new name, too, but she’s not obligated to do that on camera for us. We can’t force her to say “Aha, see? This identity suited me all along!” No. We’re not entitled to know her or define her. She will be doing that for herself, later, as a whole person. What is so scary about the ending, what makes it look like a detransition instead of a synthesis, is that we insist on gendering her naked body as a male head-wig. Wouldn’t she wear something else if that wasn’t who she was? Well, maybe not. Or maybe so, but it’s her decision, not ours. Self-expression is not the Self, it just helps to define and validate the Self. Hedwigs are extremely fucking important for defining and validating the Self!

So, you know, you have to be willing to share.

[whateverfiction]

I’m post-starved.

Okay so, I finished the Cold War campaign on last week of December before the new year for 2024. I think it was the 29th.

I loved it.

Every damn second.

There’s so much I have to say that’s going to have to be divided into a few posts because wow.

I just want to start off with talking about the general gameplay.

The gameplay was immersive for me. I kept having these moments where I just wouldn’t think at all and I’d be diving forward ahead of Adler in the KGB mission, trying to kill enemies. I got a little too excited and died a good few times.

This is something that never happens to me. I never just forget myself when playing a game. I haven’t been like that until now. Don’t get me wrong, I will get lost in playing a game and spend hours because I like it but never like this.

It was like I thought I was James Bond or even Macgyver.

It was better than the new MW3 anyways. I actually ended up straying away from MW3.

All the characters were pretty good. Everyone was fleshed out enough to be just right within the safehouse interactions.

I’ve said it before but the evidence board to select a mission is genius. It’s just really neat and has relevance to the plot as we are trying to get evidence on Perseus to find him/stop him.

Seeing Hudson get punched by Frank Woods was satisfying. I was like “do it again.” And then, Adler stopped him from doing it again which is very reasonable, Trying not to let him loose his shit. But I felt disappointed. I wanted a turn but I wasn’t there in that cutscene. I actually had no reason to dislike Hudson, I just wanted a turn. I was like “ooo, that looked like it hurt.”

“do it again.”

I was expecting Adler to be way too serious. I was picturing him like to be like how Hudson is. But no, regardless of the fact I knew “Bell”, me, was being brainwashed, I was like, “he’s kinda nice??”

Fracture Jaw really had me like, “He’s friendly. Kinda like that.” Actually forgot if only for five minutes. Like how? Even knowing the main thing that creates the plot, being “Bell’s brainwashed mind, it still had a pull on me.

I think maybe that’s why I didn’t just watch or hear the revelation of it all, but also felt it. I can’t describe what I felt in the moment of how the revelation came to be for even though i knew “bell” was brainwashed before playing, I didn’t know how it’d be revealed to the character.

It hit deep. Real deep. I was still thinking about it after three hours, no joke.

It might’ve broken me for a while and when I figure out how to explain what I felt…….

I will.

I might actually make a few more posts on this. I’ll definitely try anyways.

There's a whole lot more I want to say but I'll make a few other posts for that.. This isn't the last time I'll talk about the campaign, that's for sure.

Addicted to imitating the hell out of "we got a job to do" and any other variation of that.

[aniron48]

Love Letters - Day 2

Welcome to Day 2 of Love Letters, a 00q Choose Your Own Adventure! If you missed the first day and would like to catch up, you can read Day 1 here. As a reminder, there will be a post around this time (9pmish EST) every night through 2/14.

From this point on, the consequences of how you choose will be more pronounced--some options may pop up again down the road, but some will be foreclosed for the rest of the story! Choose wisely, and thank you so much for joining in! 😁 Day 2 begins below.

After a moment, he typed, “The one with Mr. Darcy and the governess and the wife in the attic?”

The truth was that while he’d never seen the film, he’d read the book, after finding an abandoned copy in the seat pocket on a flight to Tokyo. It might not have been his usual choice of reading material, but once he’d read the summary on the back and seen that the hero was a navy man, he gave it a go, and ended up finishing it in one sitting.

Not that Q needed to know that, of course.

Q responded with a series of keyboard smashes, an incomprehensible set of gifs, and, finally, “I’m sorry, but I cannot have a boyfriend that confuses Persuasion, Pride and Prejudice, and Jane Eyre.”

This was, admittedly, an even better reaction than Bond had hoped to provoke. They had yet to define their relationship, and Bond had assumed it was better to let it slip quietly into monogamous very-nearly-cohabitation without comment, rather than raise it and risk scaring Q away. But now that Q had opened the door….

“Boyfriend, eh?”

“It was autocorrect. Obviously I was trying to type ‘bastard,’ but my fingers slipped.”

“Naturally. Still, would my boyfriend like to propose a time to watch the film?”

“You’re insufferable,” Q sent back. Followed by, “And we’re watching it on Saturday.”

*💕*💕*💕**💕*💕*💕*

Q sighed, turning down the volume as the end credits for Persuasion played on the screen. “Nothing will ever hold a candle to Wentworth’s letter, for me. It’s the pinnacle of romance. ‘You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope.’ Imagine getting a letter like that. It would do me in.”

“You must have gotten a slew of them over the years, surely,” Bond said, resting his head on Q’s stomach.

“A slew of what?” Q asked, carding his fingers through Bond’s hair.

“Love letters.”

Q’s hands stilled. “You’re joking.”

“Why would I be joking?”

Q sat up, peering down at James. “Have you met me?”

James rolled over, bemused. “I have. Which is in no small part why I assume you’ve received a lot of love letters.”

“Flatterer,” Q looked away, flustered, and tried to cover it up by hitting Bond with a pillow. “Look, it’s just—it’s not a self-esteem issue, or anything. I’m exceedingly good at any number of things. But I also know that I’m—a bit cerebral, I suppose, and I work too many hours, and I’m very particular about some things—“

“You don’t say.”

“—and I don’t think I really tend to inspire that sort of passion in people.”

Bond opened his mouth to protest, but Q clamped a hand over it. “Let’s not, please. I’m just woolgathering. I’d much rather talk about how it’s a national tragedy that men don’t wear silk stockings like that anymore.”

“You’d have to have the calves for it,” Bond mused.

“Ciarán Hinds does, certainly.”

“Noticed that, did you?”

“Well, let’s put it this way, I’d let him—“

“You’d let him what? Put the wind in your sails? Climb your rigging?” Bond rolled on top of Q, tickling his ribs. “What does he have that I haven’t got?”

“I think the question is, what do you have that he doesn’t?” Q said breathlessly. “Maybe you should remind me.”

“With pleasure,” Bond said. But as he leaned down for a kiss, an idea began to take shape. He’d let Q change the subject, before. He’d learned that it paid to let their harder conversations breathe a bit, to give Q space to sort things out in his wickedly clever, eminently generous mind. But Q deserved the world, and Bond would give him whatever pieces of it were within his power. And he could give him this, at least. He could give him a love letter.

Although it was possible he might need a bit of help.

You chose chaos the last time, mis amores! But your votes unlocked the 'boyfriend' text exchange that opens this part, so it appears I've rewarded your behavior. 😂

What will you do this time? I can't wait to see!

[mrs-johansson]

Chapter 5: Avengers: Age of Ultron - Two Ghosts

Part 1:

“When can I meet her?” Dad asked as he came down to have lunch in my lab. “Soon. I want her to settle in, and I want her to have the hearing aid.” “And how’s that going?” He stood up and walked up to the table. “I’m just gonna run some more tests and we’ll see, maybe next week you two could meet,” I looked up at him.

“How is it that your friends have seen Katarina sooner than I would?” Dad had been trying to meet Katarina for months, but with James at the house and the setting time, I thought she could have a little more time. “Because they are not her relatives biologically. Clint helps me with babysitting and Natasha is… Natasha. Believe me, she’s worth the wait. I swear she has your attitude sometimes even though you two haven’t even met yet.” The proud and surprised look on his face was funny but also such a great feeling to see. “Okay show me some pictures then.”

***

The last couple of months have been hectic. Hiding James has been really difficult, but mostly for him. He couldn’t really leave the house without assistance and he was bothered by that obviously. Even though he’s very introverted and a house buddy, he wanted to get out there and explore the world on his own, which was not possible at these times.

So he stayed at home most days, spending time with Katarina and learning from within the four walls. He watched the news every morning and evening, surfed the internet for information, and read about the time he had missed.

We once visited the Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum, where he learned about himself and the war, but mostly about the Captain America we know now. James was so eager to know everything and be present that sometimes he got lost in what he actually wanted. He still didn't have a plan for what would come next. I tried everything to make him look further but he got stuck.

Meanwhile, Katarina was growing fast. She’s not even one and she has the abilities and looks of a 3 year old. She knows sign language to a full extent, which she learned in just a couple of weeks.

It is incredible to see how she’s developing day to day, but not gonna lie I miss the previous steps. I wanted to see her open her eyes for the first time, roll over for the first time and I’m not even gonna mention the first steps. I know I complain about great things but these are also great things to miss out on.

When I work, she’s in kindergarten from Monday to Thursday and on Fridays, she stays at Barton's. She already sees Clint and Laura as her uncle and aunt, and the kids as her cousins. They treat her like family, which I appreciate out of this world.

And Natasha, she’s here on most Saturdays, when Katarina is just full of joy. Nat is definitely her favorite, apart from me of course. They bonded on a deep level and it brings me happiness but also so much pain to know that we couldn’t work out.

Maybe if it wasn’t for the break-up, we would raise Katarina together. But it’s never perfect, is it?

On Fridays, which is today, I usually bring dinner to Clint’s house and we have dinner together.

Pulling up to the farm, I could see the kids and Clint playing outside, kicking a ball around. Katarina’s dark brown hair was gently braided into two little braids, and the pants she had on were basically dirty as the ground. She enjoys being outside since at home we only have a flat still.

The Bartons looked up to the sound of the car and Clint alerted Rina that I’d arrived, and she looked my way too. Her attention left the ball imminently and with those little feet, she started running towards me.

Seeing this was something that made me appreciate every little thing. She was getting older by the second and I wasn’t gonna miss one more minute with her.

I got out of the car and quickly rounded it before picking her up.

“Hi baby,” I gave a kiss to the side of her head, then put her back on the ground and kneeled in front of her. “Your hair is so pretty! Did Laura make it?” I asked. “No, Natasha.” Nat’s here? “Wow, she’s so cool, right?” She nodded. “How was today? Did you have fun?” “Yes, we painted. I made you something,” she took my hand and insisted on getting inside.

Getting the take-out dinner I picked up Katarina and made our way towards Clint and the kids. “Hey guys, I got us Chinese today,” I greeted the three of them. “Copper, why don’t you guys take the food inside? We’ll be there in a minute,” I gave him the bags of food and the three of them walked in, Katarina grabbing a hold of Lila’s hand.

“What is she doing here? She hasn't been returning my calls for over a week. And I know she wasn’t on a mission,” I turned to Clint. He looked inside then at me with a sigh. “I don’t know why she didn’t talk to you then, but now she’s here to talk. It seemed pretty serious,” he said. “Great, just perfect.”

Walking inside, the kids already settled around the table, Laura and Natasha unpacking the boxes. “Hi,” I said. Nat picked up her head and I couldn’t describe the look she gave me. “I was just saying the other to Clint, how much I craved Chinese but he didn’t get me any,” Laura’s voice made me look away. “Because it was in the middle of the night and we live on a farm,” Clint stepped in. “I’m glad your craving will be fulfilled,” I said.

Grabbing the plates, I had to step next to Natasha. “Nat,” I nodded her way. “Y/n.” The urge to read her mind was so tempting but I promised everyone that I won’t use it on them. “You haven’t been returning my calls,” I said as I reached the shelf.

“It wasn’t a phone conversation that I wanted to talk about,” she said. Voice tense, body language just strict. “We can talk after I put Katarina to sleep.”

***

Katarina insisted that Natasha would be the one who stays with her until she falls asleep, so I did the dishes so that Laura could relax a little, but she kept my company throughout.

“Dinner was weird,” she said. “What do you mean?” “You and Nat. What’s going on?” I stared at the water as it flowed through the sink. “It’s been strange for a while. She’s dictating herself from me, from us really. She canceled last week’s Saturday and hasn't answered my calls since. Of course, Rina asked for her, because she’s obsessed with her. But nothing. And last week too, like she was distracted at all times. And if it was work she would definitely tell me.” “Maybe she’s seeing someone,” she casually threw it out there. “You think?” I stopped the tap and dried my hands. “What else could it be? It’s Natasha, you and work were the only option she could be occupied with, but there’s no you anymore, and if it’s not work… Maybe she found someone,” the sad smile on Laura’s face was something strange. I know she loved us together but I didn’t think she would actually prefer us over other relationships. But she also probably knew something.

“So, can we talk?” Natasha walked down the stairs, and both of us looked her way. “Yeah, let’s go outside. Good night, Laura,” I said to the woman. “You too guys.”

As we made our way outside I played all the scenarios in my mind about what could happen. Maybe she did find someone and wants to disappear from my life, or maybe it is a work thing.

We were a great distance from the house and we didn't talk a word on the walk. Then she stopped at almost the end of the lot. “I know about Barnes,” her voice was filled with anger. “And?” I shrugged it off, trying to act cool.

“Y/n, are you insane?” She stepped closer, veins popping out on her neck. “He is dangerous! And you let your daughter around him? There’s a chance that he’s gonna be that killing machine again, and what are you gonna do then, huh? Or what if HYDRA finds him? That’s why you won’t let anyone over to your place! And what about Steve? You’re just gonna let him suffer and look for him when you know damn well that he sleeps in your bed, eats your food, and plays with your daughter every day.” “You have no idea Natalia how fucking hard it is for me! If it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t have found Katarina. I wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for him!” By now we were yelling at each other and I was glad the house was far away.

“I’ve been trying to help him settle in, to come up with a plan. But nothing. He doesn’t even want a glance at the future. For the past several decades he wasn’t Barnes, he wasn’t the Bucky Steve knows… But he’s trying to be the old him. He wants to learn and be human,” I explained but as I spoke she only got angrier. “How are you falling so easily into this? Y/n how can you be so naive after everything that happened?” Her hands spread to her sides, confusion hitting her face. “Naive?” I scoffed. “Every single day when I go home, I think he’s not gonna be there anymore. That he left, that they took him. For months I’ve been living on the fucking edge, scared to leave my daughter alone with him, scared to fall asleep next to him. I’m not naive, I just don’t want to make him feel even worse,” I said and turned around to walk back.

“No.” She simply said and I looked back at her. “No, you are just scared to be alone. You can’t be alone and you just won’t admit that,” she caught up to me and stood right in front of me. “Don’t ever talk to me about hating to be alone. I became a mother overnight, and I wasn’t gonna do this alone.” “But you are not alone,” Natasha took hold of my hand. But I took it away and shook my head. “I am.” “Y/n don’t shut me out now,” the want in her eyes was something I missed every day but I couldn’t let this happen. “I’m not shutting you out, but we talked about this. I can’t do this, not now… James is there and Rina, I-“ I stumbled over my words, didn’t even know what I wanted to say. “James…” She said quietly like she knew immediately. With the look she gave me, she definitely knew.

“You guys are a thing, aren’t you?” Her shoulders dropped. “We’re not a thing,” I looked away, shaking my head. “Oh don’t fucking lie to me. I know you, Y/n. You two are fucking for sure,” she got mad again, but mostly she looked disappointed. “What if we do? You have absolutely no right to question who I sleep or don’t sleep with. We broke up, Natasha. We ended things because it didn’t work. I’m sorry that I’m trying to move on. It hurts me like shit, that he’s not you, that it’s not us! I wanted you, Nat!” I yelled at her. She has no right to speak to me like that. “I wanted all of you. We had each other and now we don’t. So you don’t get to decide what I do with my life.”

***

“Good morning everyone,” Steve walked into the meeting room with Maria following him. Files in her hands she handed one to everyone. The team gathered around the table, while Steve presented our next mission.

“As you all know, we found another HYDRA Research Base. It’s in Sokovia, Europe. It is the base where we tracked Loki’s scepter and the plan is to retrieve it. The files have everything you need to know before we take off. Tomorrow morning we leave at 5. Any questions?” He looked around and everyone was silent. “Alright, see you tomorrow.”

***

Taking Katarina out of her seat, we made our way upstairs right away. It’s how the days go, in the mornings I drop her off at kindergarten and after work I get her and we go home to James.

After the meeting, I went to Stark Industries and we worked on some new projects and I finally finished Rina's hearing aid so I’m very excited to try it with her.

Opening the front door, I noticed the flat was awfully quiet. James usually is always on the couch when we get home, watching the news but now he isn't. The tv was turned off, no sign of James in the living room.

I shut the door behind me and put Katarina down, who took off to her room immediately. “James?” I called out once. Maybe he’s sleeping. I checked the kitchen and the balcony, but nothing. Bathroom empty. Then I made my way to the bedroom to see it was also without him in it.

And then I noticed an envelope. Lying on his pillow. My heart dropped and I couldn’t think of anything else other than he had left.

With shaky hands, I took hold of the envelope and saw my name written on it. Opened it and saw the handwritten letter. I sat down on the edge of the bed and read it.

Hey Doll,

We both knew this was coming for a long time now, but I think neither of us thought that it woulduld actually happen. I had to leave. For your and Katarina’s safety. I am a liability and it wouldn’t be safe for you two if I had stayed. I also didn’t want Steve to find me, he had enough trouble with me the last time we saw each other.

I won’t contact you and I don’t want you to contact me. The only communication I want is Katarina. I’d like you to send pictures to the address at the bottom every month. Just one picture of Katarina.

I am truly sorry and I promised I won’t leave you again, I am sorry that I broke this. But please forgive me, Doll.

Your James.