#kingsman: mint condition | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

deepdarkwaters · 7 years ago

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rules:

1. always post the rules.

2. answer the questions given by the person who tagged you.

3. write 11 questions of your own and tag 11 (or however many) people to answer them.

@futuredescending tagged me!

1. What is the nicest thing someone has done for you?

Pretty much anything fandom-related over my ~16 years of dedicated group fangirling. People who have never met before writing each other spectacular novels as gifts! People flying over oceans to come and visit just because several years ago you happened to realise you both liked fictional people sucking dicks in the same way! People posting silly little gifts to your house because "it made me think of [character] and [character] makes me think of you"!

2. Do you have NOTPs? If so, why are they NOTPs for you?

In this fandom, Eggsy/Roxy. I wrote it for an exchange once because I weirdly enjoy making myself write a pairing I don't like, I enjoy the challenge of forcing my brain to think about it in a way that bypasses my aversion, and I liked what I ended up with. But I don't read it and don't intend to write it again. It's nothing to do with it being eww het or whatever, I generally write all characters totally pansexual anyway just because I like the option of variety. They just don't work for me as anything except maybe FWBs. I love them so much as friends, I can't get behind a romance somehow.

3. Summarize the worst film/book/song/story you’ve ever read/watched.

Lights Out is the most shitty ugly film I've ever seen and it made me so angry I couldn't sleep after I saw it. ROAR. The trailer was nicely creepy so I was hoping for a decent horror film in the plague of utter duds we usually get, but nope instead we get this shitstain. It's about a depressed mother haunted by an evil demon thing that can only survive in the dark and flips out when her family tries to light the house up and get her to take her medication. She's the only thing tethering the demon thing to the world, it doesn't exist without her, so she kills herself at the end to save her family. ????? It's clearly a metaphor for her depression given its dependence on her and its aversion to the light and everything, so what, people living with depression are supposed to realise what miserable burdens they are to their family and fix things by checking out? The most stupid tone deaf film I've ever seen, it was just so impossibly ugly. I knew as soon as someone mentioned the mother-demon link thing that it was heading towards that ending, but I was holding out hope that nobody could possibly be that crass in 2016. Fuck that film and everybody involved.

4. What are some fandom/fic things that irrationally annoy you?

The phrase "pupils blown wide" makes me want to peel my skin off. It's probably not actually that much of a thing, it's just that when I first started reading Kingsman fic I had a couple of months' worth to gorge on all in one big chunk and I started noticing it EVERYWHERE simply because of the volume of filth I was consuming 23 hours a day. I've not noticed it much recently, I think we've all moved on. But for a while there it was hanging like a fart haze over Ao3 and ruining my life. Annoyingly, I've used it myself! In a real book people can buy on Amazon! VOMIT. I think it's one of those weird only-in-fandom phrases that somehow snags its claws into people's fics without anyone thinking much about it.

5. Write a summary for the fic you want to write but never will.

I started writing an AU of The Bodyguard for reel-kingsman a while ago, but never finished it and someone else claimed it this round! So that one's sort of lingering and probably won't happen any more, I've got too many WIPs to finish anyway and can't quite feel invested in newer things while I'm trying to get the rest finished by September. It had Eggsy as the Zayn-type character who's just left a massive boyband created on some X Factor kind of show, and Harry as the bodyguard hired to look after him who pretends he hates boybands but really he's still got mint condition Take That dolls in their boxes from the 90s and a Boyzone tattoo on his arse and he sits in his little hut sweatily watching Eggsy's audition video on Youtube all night.

6. Someone writes a story that perfectly hits all your buttons. That story includes: _____, ______, and _________.

Massive age difference, UST that feels like it's never going to end and just when you think it finally will IT ACTUALLY DOESN'T for another 90 pages, and lots and lots of kissing, bonus points if it's kissing + hair-touching.

7. I’m stealing @colinfilth’s question once asked on twitter bc it was SO GOOD: what is the fic one would write that clued your readers in that your identity had been stolen?

Relentless dark angst mpreg omegaverse same age AU deathfic with suave macho top Harry, Eggsy's dialogue written out phonetically, and Merlin's real name is something like Caomhainn or Eirdsidh.

8. Most embarrassing celebrity crush, past or present?

Meat Loaf around the time Bat 2 came out. I'm not embarrassed! But I've been informed that I should be.

9. How much research will you do for a fic? Wing it? Get lost in a wikipedia hole? Read actual books on a topic? Google translate? Get consulting with native speakers?

I'm too lazy to research. Plus I don't write much that's not character-driven fluff porn. I'd probably research more if I wrote plotty stuff, but my brain only seems to like over-described fight scenes and swoony romance. The only thing I really research is location if that's necessary, I like looking places up on google maps/street view to get a sense of what's going on around the characters.

10. The one thing the creator of your current fandom could do to kill your fandom love.

The creator is the least important person! Once a thing is out there and a fandom is building up around it, they completely cease to matter. Even if TGC is an absolute shitshow I wouldn't care - I've read and written so much fic that I'm pretty sure it's going to feel like Just Another Possibility to be accepted or ignored like everything else.

11. ETA: Ooops, forgot that 11th one. (I’ve had a lot of gin). Um. What are the songs that absolutely fit your faves to a T?

The Name of the Game by ABBA :P

I was an impossible case No one ever could reach me But I think I can see in your face There's a lot you can teach me

etc.

I'm feeling far too braindead to think up questions, but I would be grateful if anyone can explain to me in small simple words why a fictional adult person having fictional consensual enthusiastic sex with a fictional adult person deserves to be called paedophilia, because a very silly person is sniping at me anon about it and this shit is flying right over my head.

#meme

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