#i still have stuff to get done before then tho so yeah i’ll try to find some time to talk to you guys soon tho :> i miss y’all 🫶🏻

[goldenhypen]

hii sorry for ghosting for a few days 💀 i’ll slowly catch back up on everything sjsjsjd

[tookthe-405]

Hard to sleep

bsf!ellie x bsf!reader

Masc!ellie x fem!reader

summary: Modern au where you and Ellie are best friends and in college together. About the queer situationship so many of us had with our best friend :,)

It’s angsty but still fluffy I swear 😪

(Happy End)

c.w: smut!!, weed, mention of alcohol and drugs and long af and I think that’s it but speak up if i missed something!!!

authors note: this is my first fic so please be nice to me, but still give critic so I can write better next time 🫶

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“Wakey wakey sunshine it’s time to get upp”

You sigh annoyed thinking you’re still asleep and dreaming some shit, because of course Ellie follows you into your dreams.

“Dude get the fuck up” this time her voice doesn’t sound so subdued and you jump out of your sleep.

“Holy fuck”

You Look at Ellie whose casually going through your dorm room, packing your bag for you.

“You really need to stop oversleeping the classes that are the most important to you and going to the ones no one cares about”

You sigh still tired and feeling your heart beating way too fast and loud.

“You really need to stop showing up here when I’m unconscious, you always scare the shit out of me”

“I literally called you sunshine, how does that scare you?”

You giggle a bit and sit up straight, stretching yourself before standing up completely.

Ellie gives you your packed bag and you take it, still in pjs.

“You do know by the time I’m done, the lecture will be almost over” you mention to her as you open the braid form last night.

“Who said I’m waiting for you huh?”

“Um I do?”

You Look at her grinning, she sits at your desks while watching you do your hair with her green eyes following almost every move.

You Look Away quickly and go to the bathroom to brush your teeth.

Sometimes it feels like there’s a time limit when you two look at each other, like you have to watch out that it’s not too long and not too short. Most of the time Ellie doesn’t care and just keeps staring, but for you it’s important to not cross the friendship line. No one looks at their best friends for too long, no one worries about looking at their best friend too long.

You just don’t want to fuck this up.

“You should wear a skirt today”

“Huh?”

Ellie appears in the door.

“It’s hot today you should wear something short” she says again

“This your way of making me wear skirts for you?”

Ellie chuckles in her casual husky voice.

“Yeah that’s exactly what I’m doing”

“That was so fucking boring, you could’ve let me missed this one too Ellie” you whine

Ellie groans as the both of you walk to one of the cafe’s on campus, meeting your roommate Audrey and some of Ellies friends as well.

“I’m like 90% sure he said important stuff in the beginning and we just missed it because of you”

“Yeah yeah whatever I’m sorry ellie, I’ll try fixing my sleep schedule okay?”

“I’ll ask Audrey too take away your laptop and phone maybe you’ll have a chance then”

You bump your shoulder into hers and she giggles.

It doesn’t take much too make you feel nostalgic when you spend time with Ellie. Only warm air, sunshine and her laugh.

That’s all you’ll ever need and that all you’ll never have forever.

“I’m gonna meet up with Iris later”

Her tone sounds natural, no hesitation and you are sure she doesn’t know what her words do to you.

And the worst part is you can’t even be mad at her, you have no right to be.

You look down at your shoes that go in the same tact with Ellie’s, over and over again.

“Really? Was she the one with the braids?”

Ellie nods and you try to make some eye contact. You don’t want her to feel bad, even tho you’re sure she has no idea how you actually feel, and you always try to be happy for her. But maybe you want her to get it. Maybe you want her to see how you look at her, maybe then she’ll finally understands.

But she just keeps walking and looking forward.

“There wasn’t a frat party in so long you have to come!”

Audrey is basically begging, she even pulls your arm.

“Everyone is talking about it in my class, since it’s the last one before everyone is going home so they wanna party big” Jesse explains with a big smirk on his face.

Ellie and you look at each other from across the table, sipping your ice coffees.

You give her a uncertain look, you know she’ll go if you go and you’ll go if she does.

“Who’s gonna be there?” She asks and your eyes land on Dina, who normally knows every human alive.

“Everyone I hope but I’m sure a few won’t go so why don’t you just tell me her name Ellie?” Dina says, a teasing look on her face and your heart feels heavy again.

“Iris. I sit with her in biology”

“Aw cute you sit with her?” Audrey says mocking her friendly, but she gives you a empathetic look. She’s the only one who knows about your feelings, since she was the one who was with you when you got a bit too drunk and told her about all the feeling you ever had.

Ellie looks at you for just a second, but thank god you didn’t miss it, and your cheeks turn red. You keep drinking your drink.

“Yes I know her she’s sweet but I don’t know if she’ll be there”

Ellie immediately grabs her phone and types something in it.

Jesse goes ordering something and Dina talks with Audrey about the party and what to wear.

Your feet kicks Ellie’s softly, so she looks up at you.

“Just ask her if you could met there, I’m sure she doesn’t mind” you say trying to sound as supportive as possible.

Ellie looks unsure and you grab her arm soft, feeling the fabric of her flannel jacket she’s so obsessed with.

“She likes you Ellie, god how couldn’t she and she should be happy about spending some time with you and you’re friends. I know it would make you feel more relaxed too, knowing you’re not alone” you try to whisper it but Audrey and Dina are loud talker anyway.

You smile at her and take your hand back. Ellie looks at you and her cheeks turn a slightly pink shade. She was never good with sentimental talk, too bad you’re so good at it.

“You don’t have to meet her yet you know” she says finally.

“What do you mean? Why shouldn’t I?”

“I don’t know… I wasn’t sure if you wanted too”

“I’m your best friend why would you think that Ellie?”

“I don’t know I just… never mind it’s stupid”

She starts looking at her phone again but you keep staring at her confused, angry and even a bit sad. You’re pretty positive that you weren’t obvious at all for the past years, so what did you do to fuck up so bad?

“Okay she’ll be there”

“Yeah?” Jesse asks, sitting down again with a sandwich in his hand.

“Yup she says she heard about it too and wanted to ask me if I would like to go”

“Damn that’s some soulmate shit” he says chuckling and you look out the window for something distracting

“It’s gonna be fine, if it’s too much for you we can leave” Audrey tries to comfort you.

“I’m gonna be okay Audrey don’t worry, i think I can do this” you know you actually can’t do this.

“I think this is all just in your head, the whole “Being scared of losing her” thing” she mentions quiet.

It’s not just that your scared of losing her, your scared of wanting her so much that you can’t control it anymore and then losing her.

“Just go ahead with the others, I think I’ll take a bit longer… I’m just gonna take an Uber” you keep digging through your closet searching for anything you would like to wear.

“You sure?” Audrey voice sounds unsure.

“Yes it’s a short drive I’ll be fine”

“Fine but if you change your mind then I’m more than fine with just watching a movie with you Here”

“I won’t I promise we’re gonna have fun tonight” you smile at her as she walks out the door saying goodbyes and waving quickly.

Right after she left you could hear your own thoughts way too clear and it felt like your mind was ready to destroy the whole evening.

You stare at your wardrobe searching for something, but this unsettling feeling is eating you from the inside and you lay down on the bed again, putting your face in your hands.

The tears just rush down your cheeks and your body lets them. You imagine the time where Ellie has a girlfriend wife, a woman that is more important than you and the person she wants to do all the things you want to do with her. You’ll have to be at their wedding and at their house to eat fucking dinner once a year.

You would do a lot for Ellie to want you as this person, but you tell yourself that you’re not gonna cry here because that won’t change anything.

You take your phone from the night stand next to you and open the camera, seeing mascara all over your cheeks.

“Fuck” you whisper annoyed

You try to whip them away, then you get a text from Ellie.

I’m gonna pick you up in an hour okay

What about iris? Shouldn’t you pick her up?

I wanna pick up you tho, she’ll be fine we said we would meet at the party

You don’t have to do that Ellie

I get it really

I want to pick you up. Is that okay with you miss?

I can hear you say this in my head

Shut up and get ready dork

You smile and the smile tastes like hope and assurance and love.

In the end you decided to wear a shirt mint green dress that has a V cut with a little cute white bow in the middle. Since how to walk in heels is a fucking mystery, you wear your Mary janes shores in dark red.

You put your hair up and put on a brown leather jacket from Isla.

There’s a knock on the door as you try to save your make up a bit.

You take one last look in the mirror and decide that your fine with how you look. With your bag around your shoulder you open the door and meet Ellie’s eyes immediately.

You smile excited and do a little spin.

“is this okay?” You ask her

“Pretty. You look very pretty”

You take a Look at Ellie’s outfit.

Baggy jeans with a white t shirt and her blue jeans jacket and converse. You could see her black sports bra though her white tee and looked away quickly, feeling your face heat up and your mind swift away to other places.

“You do too, even your hair is open for once. Looks very good” you say and take a step forward, so you could let your fingers go through her hair. She puts her hands on your arms and closed her eyes for a bit. You fixed a few hair strings and looked at her. You often saw her this close up but you’ll always thank the universe for another chance of seeing her like this. The freckles over her cheeks and her nose, hell even her forehead.

She is so beautiful and so sweet, sure she tries to hide it most of the time but in these moments you’re both just two girls holding each others most vulnerable versions.

A moment later you find yourself hugging her tight.

Your arms are around her neck and you take a deep breath in. She hugs you back, her arms around your waist.

“I love you a lot and I hope that doesn’t change ever.”

You whisper in her ear

“I love you too…”

You eventually let go of her and try to show her that you’re still happy and excited for tonight, even though you really just want to hug and kiss her the whole night and not watch her do this with some other girl.

“Let’s go I’m sure the others are already there”

“Frat boys are some weird people but fuck their party’s are good”

Ellie’s voice makes you look right as you guys get out her car and fuck she’s right. There are people everywhere. Outside the frat house, inside and you’re sure some people are gonna end up on the roof at some point too.

“I’m gonna drink so fucking much before I need to go back home” you say, real excitement in your veins this time.

Ellie giggles and the both of you try to get through the drunk people on the front porch.

It’s louder inside the house, where a tone of lights shine around in the room, everyone is dancing and you could smell alcohol in the air.

Your eyes scan everything around you, but then you hear Ellie curse.

“What wrong?” You get a bit closer to her again.

She looks a bit pissed but you couldn’t find anything else in her expression.

“Iris is gonna be here in an hour”

“Thats a bit late” is all that comes to your mind.

“No shit, she thought we would meet up at that time but still it’s just….” She looks at your biting her under lip

You take a step back and look at her really mad now.

“What is it that bad to spent some time with me here Ellie? We don’t have too you know you wanted to pick me up, you wanted to go tonight what the fuck?” You hear your own voice getting louder with every word.

You were trying. Trying to be supportive and not jealous. Trying not to think about her, about all the things you dream about. But this just feels like some fucked up joke.

“No! Fuck- you know that not what I mean…”

Ellie’s hands reach out for you but you step back again.

“Don’t fucking Touch me.”

And for once in a while Ellie was the one, who felt the sharp pain of rejection. Her hands slowly drop and her eyes never looked so green. Her eyes look around the room for a second, but after she realises that you’re not gonna change your mind she puts her hands inside her jacket and walked more inside the house.

You don’t feel the tears this time. They just appear in your eyes as you watch Ellie walk away.

You Turn left and walk up the stairs, trying to not let anybody see you cry.

You Wander around for a bit feeling like a ghost, not even sure how to think a single thought right.

After a while you find yourself in, you think the bedroom, of one the frat boys. A group of people sit on the floor, talking and smoking a joint.

Even tho you don’t really like smoking, you thought about it for a second and it didn’t sound so bad Anymore.

You stood there awkwardly, staring at them not sure what to do, but then you heard a voice behind you.

“You want one?” A tall girl with long blond hair asks.

“Excuse me?” You feel your pulse go up in embarrassed.

“A joint? I have one if you wanna smoke a bit?”

You look at her with your mouth a bit open.

Then you gave the group a last look, their laughing looking like they don’t care about a thing in the world.

“Yes… yeah sure why not”

The girl smiles and you follow her to another room, a bathroom which was surprisingly quiet. As soon as she closes the door, the noises sounds muffled.

You Open a window and lean on to the wall.

“You a student too? Or a friend of a friend?” You ask her, hating the awkward silences.

The girls steps beside you and pulls out a joint and a lighter.

“Student sadly, I would be fine with being the cousin of one of the football players” she chuckles slightly and light up the joint pretty smooth.

“So Whats Your name?” She asks you and hands you the joint.

You Take a Hit trying not to cough, but of course you fail.

You mumble your name, as you try to take a normal breath again.

“First time?” A smirk on her a face, but at least she’s not laughing.

“No but I don’t smoke often”

“Hm”

“Sorry what’s your name?”

She takes another hit and it looks way to easy when she does it which bring you wanting to do it better the next time and even better the next one.

“Abby”

“Nickname?”

“Yeah for Abigail”

“Hm cute name” you mention and take your … maybe 4th hit? You should stop counting now.

“Thank you… so what do you study?

“Psychology” I murmur

Her eye brown go up in surprise and you giggle a bit at the face she makes.

“Clinical?” She asks and it surprises gib that she knows about the difference.

“No, general”

“Oh you’re a smart girl then huh?”

You laugh loud and laughing and since you’re in a bathroom the laugh comes back way louder.

“Not really most of the time I miss the classes that I I really wanna watch” you say and your mind goes wandering off to ellie again but you try to focus on Abby in front of you.

“What do you study? Tell me what are you here for Abigail?” You say to her and she makes a face again.

“God only my dad calls me Abigail it’s kinda funny coming from an almost stranger”

And that’s so sweet that you can’t help but smile at her but then your eyes meet…. And god hers are so red that you pray silently that yours do not have the same colour.

“Pre-med”

“And you call me smart girl Abby” you say with big eyes.

“You might become a fucking doctor”

She giggled embarrassed and you could tell that the weed was working.

“I Hope so” she says looking a bit sad even and your first thought was that she might think she couldn’t do it.

You put your arm on her shoulder and your mouth falls open.

Fuck this woman has some muscles.

You squeeze her arm for a second and then realise that she’s staring at you with a confused grin.

“Sorry i Know we Don’t know each other, but I can just like you know feel that you’re intelligent and interesting and hard working and - I mean bro look at your arms I’m not even sure if that’s possible” you say laughing again.

Your laugh doesn’t stop for a few seconds, but as soon as it dies you worried that you might have over stepped the line.

You Look at her Face and she just smiles really nice and not mad or hurt just pure sweetness.

She’s really nice and your sure you guys could be friends and now you’re kinda scared that you gave off the wrong idea.

“What the fuck?”

Your heads turn to the door where a very disturbed ellie is standing.

“Ellie hey… no wait I’m mad at you”

“You’re mad at me? I’ve been looking in the whole damn house and I find you smoking weed from a stranger the fuck do you mean?”

You’ve seen Ellie being angry a lot. She was mad, because of a comic con where she didn’t get to but a signed version of her fav comic. Or when she cursed out some old dude who was driving too slow.

But never this mad.

“We’re going”

Your mind is still spinning then suddenly Ellie grabs your arm and wanting to pull you out the door but Abby steps between you both.

“Sorry but you can’t just do that”

“You don’t know shit”

Abby was definitely taller and stronger than Ellie, but Ellie’s temper was probably even bigger.

“I know she doesn’t want to go with you”

Abby snaps and Ellie’s grip gets stronger around your waist and she goes past Abby through the door.

You give Abby an apologetic look, Ellie only slows down when you are at her car.

“Get in” she hisses

You get in and you swore to yourself that this whole situation will end tonight.

“Ellie-“

“Don’t just please don’t talk right now please”

She sounded exhausted. Hurt as well like she hasn’t slept in days. Her head rests on the steering wheel for a few seconds, her back goes up and down from her strong breathing and you just shut up with tears in your eyes.

The ride was quiet, not even the radio was on. You could only hear the noise of the car driving, it’s humming which calmed you and Ellie down a bit. You still cried in silence the whole time.

You got out of the car without a word and walked up the stairs to your room, Ellie close behind you.

You Open the door with your keys and you both sit down on your bed. This might be the longest time the both of you haven’t talked while being together and it feels so incredible wrong.

“Why did you step back from me in the beginning. Why didn’t you let me touch you?”

Her voice broke at the end and you looked up to see tears running down her cheeks as well.

“Because … I felt like you didn’t want me there with you. Like you would swap me with her if you had the chance. That hurt me and I know I don’t have the right-“

“I would always choose you”

This time she didn’t sound sad, her voice sounds and feels delicate. Something tickled in your heart, like a string only she pulled on.

“I would choose you in every universe, in every scenario just tell me what you want. Tell me what you want and I’ll be it for you”

Ellie has this affect on your heart, your soul.

She could hurt you so much more and you’ll still choose her over and over again as well.

You’ll choose each other.

You Look at her lips and back to her eyes.

“I want you to kiss me-“

She didn’t waste a second, she put her hand on the back of your head and pushed you to her, the first time ellie kissed you, you tasted like weed and alcohol. And Ellie didn’t care.

If you taste like that she’ll taste like it too.

And you would still kiss each other over and over again.

Your hands found her hair again, like a few hours ago but this time you weren’t careful, you touched her the way you wanted.

Her hands found your hip and she pulled you on her lap.

“Wait - wait”

She stopped immediately.

“What about Iris?” You feel like crying again, if you’re just a replacement because it didn’t work out with her then you might kill her.

Ellie gaze is focused on her hand, that’s still on your hip.

“I couldn’t do it”

“Couldn’t do what?”

Ellie closed her eyes, frustration showing on her whole face

“I couldn’t do this to you- Jesus to her I just couldn’t. I kept on wishing it was you instead of her. The whole time and I mean for weeks. But I can’t lose you and I sure as hell can’t forget you”

Your breath feels lost and I feel dizzy.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You ask her and out both of your hand on her cheeks, so that she looks up at you.

“Why didn’t you? Because I was scared. Scared of losing you or us or both”

Her eyes got a bit watery again, you’ve known her for so long and you couldn’t even read her when she was hurting the most.

“Give me a second”

You got up and grabbed your phone out of your bag.

Audrey, sleep in Dina’s dorm tonight, in Ellie’s bed

And don’t worry about Ellie

Always warm your roommate about hook ups, or whatever this is. God you Hoped this wasn’t a one time thing.

“You’re okay with sleeping here?”

Ellie’s eyes went wide and her face got red.

“Yeah I mean yes for sure why shouldn’t I-?”

You sit down on her lap and kiss her again, harder this time.

“Is it okay if we fuck? Or too fast?” You ask her looking right into her eyes, so she would understand how serious you mean it.

“N-no im fine Are you fine?”

You grinned, she was so cute when she was nervous.

“I’m fine Ellie. Say stop and I’ll stop okay? Promise me you’ll do that?” You kiss down her neck as you speak and even there her skin was burning.

“Yes I can do that”

You get up to her face again and kiss her soft.

“Can you open my dress for me?”

She nods and her hands disappear behind your back.

The fabric on your skin never felt heavier and you just needed to get it off your skin. You needed Ellie to see you, to touch you.

Thank god you’re wearing pretty underwear, otherwise the anxiety would’ve ruined your confidence.

The cold gave you a little shiver, Ellie hand found your waist again and you literally melted under her touch.

A few seconds ago you were nervous how she might look at you. Ellie has experience, you too sure but she’s enough for you just by being here with you in this moment. You don’t know how she feels about you.

The warm light of your lamp shines on her face and her freckles never looked more beautiful.

Her eyes wander over your whole body.

Your lace bra, your legs, stomach and you’ve never felt this intimate with a person. It’s because this time it’s with her. And you feel golden, god she feels golden, the whole room does.

Ellie’s eyes stop at your bra and she grins.

“You’re so pretty” she whispers, as she kisses the exposed skin.

You sigh smiling, your hands finds her t shirt.

“Is this okay?” You ask for her permission.

She nods still kissing, touching your boobs over your bra and the two of you giggle as you take off her shirt and now both of you are almost naked In front of each other.

“I really wanna do this with some music on” she mumbles under her breath. A few moments later frank oceans voice is filling the room from Ellie’s phone. The bad quality made you chuckle.

Your hands touch her black sports bra, caressing over her small breasts and Ellie shivered for a moment.

It’s all you ever wanted.

All her rough and soft parts combine so good and make you feel so much, that you only want to scream.

You’ve seen Ellie in a sport bra before, at the beach or when she came from the gym, but you’ve always had this weird love for her toned forearms.

Ellie watched you with drunk looking eyes. Now she looks like the one who smoked the joint.

“I’ve imagined this before, so often it’s kinda embarrassing” she confesses.

You shake your head. “Im sure that I could keep up with it”

Your fingers started to make little circles around her nipples while you watched her face carefully, so that you wouldn’t kiss one expression.

Her eyes shut down and her brows furrow in pleasure.

For a while both of you almost fought about the control.

“Please let me take this off” she begs her hands already on your back, as she fumbles trying to get your bra open which was hard because you were moving a lot. From her neck, to her ear, to the other side.

But as soon as your breast were completely exposed, Ellie’s eyes darken and a satisfied grin appears on her mouth.

Feeling her eyes on you made your skin burn and you bury your face in your hands again growling frustrated.

“Please stop Ellie” you begged but you couldn’t help letting a little laugh coming out of your mouth.

You felt her hands on your boobs grabbing them softly, with a chuckle she starts massaging them.

“Stop What?” She mumbles, playing dumb obviously.

Her hands leave and suddenly it feels too cold without them. Ellie gently grabs your wrist and moves your hands away, so she could look at your face.

“Look at me, I won’t do anything unless you watch” she whispers.

It terrifies you for some reason. This moment and the consequences it will have.

Her head moves a bit lower to your boobs and she looks you in the eyes. You feel your emotions everywhere in your body, some are different from others.

“Here”

Ellie takes your hand and guides it too her hair.

“Hold my hair back for me” her voice sounds almost like she was in a trance, a trance she surly enjoyed.

The strings of her hair felt soft around your fingers and you decided to use both of your hands, so that no hair got into her face.

You heard a soft chuckle before she starts kissing your breast softly at first, while looking at you.

Her lips slightly brush against your already swollen nipple and you let out a loud high pitched moan.

You could feel her grin on your skin and all the embarrassment was gone.

She gently caresses over your nipple with her tongue and her fingers played with the other one.

“I really love these fuck” she whispers

The feeling in your core got worse and worse and the needy feeling was almost getting too painful.

“Ellie please I-“ her tongue flickers over you pink swollen nipple and you moan again.

“Hm?” She says completely focused on her work.

“Can you please eat me out or finger me I don’t care just please-“

the look on you face showed her how much you need it, because she immediately stopped and dropped you off her lap onto the bed.

“Yeah I can do that, didn’t know you could ever beg for something” she lets out a little giggle in her typical husky voice, while she kisses you down your body.

Your back found the wall and you changed your position, so that you could still watch her.

Her hands removed your underwear and the cold on your pussy makes you shiver.

She puts your legs over her shoulder and lays down on her stomach.

Her head lift up and she looks at you with a grin, an amused grin.

“What?” Your voice shakes a bit.

“Nothing just happy to be here”

You let out a loud laugh which died a second later, because Ellie starts to lick your clit in evil circles.

“You’re so fucking wet” she murmurs with closed eyes just saw tasting you.

Your voice got louder and louder by every move her tongue made and you could feel her enjoying every second.

“Oh my god faster Ellie please-“

Her tongue licks you faster, she couldn’t stop humming to your moans like she was feeling it too.

“You taste so good, just like I imagined”

Because of her words you got Even more turned on and you moan again, while Ellies holding you legs steady around her face.

“I’m gonna add a finger okay?”

You nodded energetic and gave off a little noise.

“Please Ellie just fuck me” you’re voice sounded like somebody else’s, way too high and way too filthy.

Ellie just chuckled and put her a finger inside your Pussy. She could feel how you’re legs tense on her cheek, as she continued too lick you’re clit.

The cruel combination made you go crazy, feeling dizzy in your head and your hips began too move on their own.

Ellie saw that as a sign too go faster as well, and her finger pushed in an out of your cunt.

“Ellie- please don’t stop”

She grins again, never imagined she would actually have you going crazy like this because of her.

“You’re getting tighter you close baby?” She teased shameless.

“Fuck- so close god-“

She adds another finger and the sudden stret made you moan and tremble at the same time.

“Come for me baby, please, make a mess on my fingers” Ellie sounded close herself and hearing her voice this desperate made you come so hard that you only saw stars for a moment.

“Oh my god- Ellie I’m gonna-!”

You came hard and ellie took everything you gave her, slurping and licking the fuck out of you.

You couldn’t stop panting for a moment, coming down from your high.

When you open your eyes Ellie was still cleaning up the mess you made, feeling her tongue on your skin.

“Okay Ellie- enough or I’m gonna cum again”

You said chuckling.

“Not my fault you taste so good holy shit” she puts her finger in her mouth.

“Ew ellie”

“Shut up I just fucked you with my mouth, you’re not allowed too judge me right now” she slides up to you and kisses your lips deeply with her tongue in your mouth, so you could taste yourself.

You kiss her back, just as eager, but the anxious thoughts won’t leave you alone.

“Um-“ you break the the kiss and Ellie whimpers slightly.

“Ellie is this just-“

“I love you.” She interrupts you, saying the words fast and it didn’t feel real for a second.

“What”

“Ive loved you for a while now I just- I’m sorry for not telling you but I was scared, god I was scared”

Her words hurt you, because you’ve felt the same way. Being too scared to tell someone how you feel is a shitty feeling.

She looks at you, but broke the eye contact immediately.

You pull her into you, kissing her cheek, her nose, her forehead, her everything.

“I also love you… that for a while as well”

A.n: sorry this was so fucking long 😭

And please Interact with the link about helping Palestine it’s literally just one click per day!!!

Anyways I hope you liked it and if there’s anything that I’ve missed or smth pls tell me!!

[sillystarwrites]

Do you like dark asks? Cause I wanted to ask [based off a disenchantment scene] how would the tadc cast react if Jax, while pranking a reader with a glass bulb head, shattered it, which causes reader to flat out die. The light in their head goes out before nothing

A/N: THISSS FHSJDHDHSH consumes ask i love this and disenchantment sm. It’s been a while since I watched it tho 😔. Sorta made a new setup?? Idk what I’m doing, but I think it looks neat.

Type/Summary: tadc cast’s reactions to Jax pushing a prank too far and breaking the (gn)reader’s lightbulb head, killing them. Reader literally dies, so if you guys are sensitive to that, shoo shoo, we’ll have more stuff to feed you that won’t upset you soon

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LIGHTS OUT!

Jax:

He was walking from his room, down past the vibrant landscape of the digital circus until he saw you sitting at the couch. He commonly pranked you, and it never hurt too much, so what if he broke your head? Surely Caine could fix it, of course.

He stealthily snuck behind you, attempting to be slow and steady, that wins the race, right? Until someone made eye contact with him. Ragatha. There goes slow and steady. Knowing she’d warn you, he shoved you quickly, cackling at your yelp until-

CRACK

Your head…shattered. The light, gone, now eternally dark. Was he maybe possibly scared as hell? Yeah. But he couldn’t just admit that, we’re talking Jax.

“Pfft, they’ll be fine!” he laughed, trying to be hopeful in his own way.

Later, when having discovers that no, you were not fine, and somehow…dead, he couldn’t stand himself. He barely even knew you outside of his pranks, but still. He can’t help but feel like the worst human being to ever human being. Which, those now pent up emotions, anger, grief, sadness, all go to his pranks. They get worse and worse, with his mental state too. He just can’t live with himself. He didn’t mean to, he really, really didn’t. Or did he? He can’t tell. He can’t ever tell. You’re gone. He can’t apologize. Everyone, except Caine and the NPCs, treats him like a monster. He’s heard their whispers, he’s seen their looks. He knows he is.

Ragatha:

She was relaxing, crocheting in the main area when he spotted Jax behind you. Just as she began to jump up, her cloth lips beginning to move, it was too late.

A loud CRACK sounded in the room, the deed done. She scrambled to get Caine, who was nearby, thankfully, but he couldn’t do much.

You’d always been more closed off, unless to the likes of Gangle, Zooble, or Pomni, so she couldn’t know you too well. That, of course, didn’t stop her from feeling guilty. She should’ve known. She should’ve helped. She should’ve done something.

She knew you were gone the moment the light was, all those bright ideas, thoughts, jokes, plans, evaporated into the digits of code in the circus. She couldn’t help but feel like she could’ve - no, should’ve - saved you.

She was furious with Jax, but also herself, neither of the two she’d ever forgive.

Caine:

He wasn’t around when it first happened, sitting in his rocking chair, with his favorite digital pipe when Ragatha ran over, panicking.

“What’s the matter, my dear? Are you all dying for a new adventure this quickly?” He asked, worried the morning was too quiet.

“No! No, no, y/n is hurt! Badly hurt!” She was speaking quickly, wasn’t that his thing? Something was definitely wrong!!

“Hurt? I’m on it, my radiant pineapple!” He joyously shouted, teleporting the two of them to you rather quickly, despite it only being a short run. 

Seeing you shattered on the floor was startling, nobody had played that game before, but nonetheless, he’d have it done quickly.

“I’ll fix them up in a jiffy, dear Rag-“ he attempted to reassure the doll as he snapped, but oddly enough, nothing happened. “That was just a fluke, I’ll have them fixed up in no time!”and so he tried again. And failed, again.

After several snaps filled the room, he was beyond worried now, “D-don’t worry everyone! I-I’m not sure what seems to be the issue, this should be working…”

“Then why isn’t it?” Zooble interrupted, irritated.

“J-just calm down, I’ve got it!” His snaps became white noise, he tried desperately for a good 30 minutes before floating above you. He decided to just…clean you up and shove you away, unsure of what else to try.

It was upsetting, losing a valuable guest such as yourself, and all the adventures seemed a bit less…lit up. Even worse, he didn’t get it. Why didn’t it work? 

Zooble:

They got there soon after Caine did, being with gangle and Pomni. They wish they stopped Jax, maybe then you’d still be there. 

After hearing Caine’s unexplained snaps, the trio walked out, confused until Zooble saw you. They couldn’t believe it. You. Shattered across the floor. It was fake, yes, but a terrifying site for those close to you.

After realizing what happened, they never forgave Jax. They refused to believe he ‘didn’t mean to’

“Come on, I didn’t mean to Zoobie, you know me!” Jax would try to explain, but they didn’t take it.

“Didn’t mean to my [boink sfx idk], Jax, sure you didn’t. Sure.” They would ignore, simply walking away.

They tried to adjust, attempting to ignore you even existed. Think red guy in the Death episode of DHMIS, if you get what I mean. Just trying to ignore you’re gone, ignore the problem and it’ll surely go away, right? Wrong.

Considering you two were close, they were used to you helping pick their Zooble parts. They always felt better when you did, but now it just didn’t feel the same.

It never would. 

Gangle: 

She always worried your bulb head would break, she just didn’t expect it to be like this. 

She walked out with Zooble and pomni, shocked at the sight. She was horrified, letting out a small squeak of surprise and panic, her mask shattering as she flinched.

“are they okay?” Was all she could ask, was all she would ask. She couldn’t bear the thought of losing you, but she did.

She sobbed for hours, her mask breaking every time she tried to fix it for the next week or so. She just couldn’t believe it, no way, no way! This wasn’t fair.

Like Zooble, she struggled to believe Jax’s plea for innocence, her trust with him forever lost. 

She still had Zooble and Pomni, so they helped her as she helped them. After spudsy’s, she did realize the happy mask was pointless. What’s the point of forcing happiness? You’re not coming back, and that’s okay, it’ll be okay, right? Right. Right.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: sorry it’s missing Kinger and Pomni, I feel like I started repeating myself here 😭

[whyse7vn]

NOT UR BF? -

[ot7 x reader]

YOONGI -

y/n: if you’re in love with me say 1

yoongi: 24

y/n: 24 divided by 24 is 1

i knew you wanted me

yoongi: you know nothing

y/n: i know many things

yoongi: what did i eat for breakfast?

y/n: toast

yoongi: wtf

y/n: i literally made it for you??

yoongi: you were in my house??

y/n: yoongi

yoongi: leave me alone

y/n: wow you want me so bad

yoongi: ???

when did i say that

y/n: i’m flattered honestly

yoongi: get help

y/n: stop playing

yoongi: i never play

especially with you

y/n: that’s kinda hot tbh

yoongi: ew

y/n: don’t ew me

yoongi: ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew

y/n: i’m upset now

yoongi: good

y/n: yoongiiiiiii :c

yoongi: i do not want you

y/n: you do

yoongi: this is not how it works

y/n: we are in love

yoongi: no we are not

y/n: ur in love with me?

yoongi: yes

y/n: YES?

yoongi: NO

i didn’t mean that

typo

accident

y/n: WOW I ALWAYS KNEW IT

THIS REALLY IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE

mark the date down

our anniversary 🥺💗

yoongi: i’m blocking you

y/n: babe :/

yoongi: stop

y/n: baby

yoongi: STOP

y/n: i like a dominant man

yoongi: i’m going to throw up

y/n: i’ll hold ur hair back for you

yoongi: i cut my hair

y/n: ur point?

yoongi: shut the fuck up??

y/n: ur making me blush

yoongi: ??

y/n: ??

yoongi: i’m leaving

y/n: not without me hahaha

yoongi: GO AWAY

TAEHYUNG -

y/n: i believe in us 💗

tae: me 2 go usa!!!

y/n: no like us

tae: no i get you

usa 🇺🇸 🦅🔥🔥❤️

i LOVEEE drake

y/n: he’s from canada

tae: no

y/n: yes

tae: go usa 🔥

y/n: you and me

us

not usa

tae: untied states?

is the us and usa not the same thing??

oh my god

this whole time….

people must think i’m so stupid oh my god

y/n: NO ur right

but i’m talking about US

like YOU taehyung and ME y/n

us

tae: us??

tf is us?

y/n: that’s what i’m trying to figure out

what ARE we??

tae: not american?

y/n: no tae

tae: OMG

HAVE YOU BEEN AMERICAN THIS WHOLE TIME??????

y/n: no LIKE OUR RELATIONSHIP

tae: how am i supposed to know the relationship between korea and america??

i mean it must be good since they let you in the country

right?

y/n: no

tae: IS IT BAD?????

ARE WE AT WAR OR SOMETHING OMG NO WAYYYYY

ig i’m never seeing drake live 😪

y/n: he’s still from canada

tae: i’m not following

y/n: clearly

tae: did i offend you?

yk i LOVE LOVE LOVE american culture guns and drake go lakers!!! 🇺🇸🇺🇸❤️❤️❤️🔥🔥

y/n: kim taehyung i want you

tae: ??

to do what???

y/n: like i want you

relationship talk

as in romantically

me and you

i want that

us

tae: so the us is america?

y/n: let america go

tae: do you have truma in america?

is that why you’re in korea now??

wow

i never knew this

it’s crazy

how long have we been friends?(

wow

life is crazy

i’m sorry america did that to you

y/n: wow ur just…

wow

ok

thanks tae

tae: is drake a good person tho?

i mean i know america is bad due to ur truma and stuff but like drake is a good person right??

y/n: i’m going insane

tae: i’m sorry truma is never easy

do you know if drake has a dog maybe we can set up a play date

y/n: i am the dog

woof

tae: wait…

are you flirting with me rn lol

y/n: oh my god

JIMIN -

y/n: ok so

jimin: no thank you ❤️

y/n: if we dated

jimin: again no thank you ❤️

y/n: jimin

jimin: for the last time no thank you ❤️

y/n: i’ll change ur life

jimin: if i wanted to be and alcoholic i would of done so by now

y/n: i would NOT make you and alcoholic

jimin: this conversation is making me reach for the rum

y/n: who tf drinks rum 💀

jimin: me???

y/n: like you go out of ur way to pick rum?

jimin: yeah?

y/n: oh ok

nvm that stuff i said before

jimin: excuse me??

y/n: like the dating stuff

i don’t think we’re a match

jimin: because i drink rum??

y/n: ur just different to what i thought you was…

jimin: because i drink rum?

are you fr…

y/n: we are just two very different people jiminie

i’m sorry

jimin: just to clarify it’s literally just because i drink rum

not that i’m ugly

or anything

y/n: i mean……

jimin: YOU MEAN????

y/n: i think it’s best i go

jimin: you stay right here

y/n: i’m not into like that pls back off

jimin: i’m not ugly

you wanted me 5 minutes go

y/n: feelings change

jimin: in 5 minutes?

y/n: yeah :/

i’m sure you’ll find someone for you!!!

HOSEOK -

y/n: hi

hobi: how tf do you know

y/n: know what??

hobi: that i’m high

y/n: ur high rn?

it’s 8 am

hobi: what

y/n: what

hobi: are you in my walls rn

y/n: could be in ur bed rn

hobi: I HOPE FUCKING NOT OMG

y/n: that’s mean :/

hobi: you know i love you

y/n: oh really 😉?

hobi: from a distance

y/n: um

hobi: so

y/n: come home the kids miss you babe

hobi: WHAT???????????

y/n: ur scaring the girls stop shouting

hobi: i must of been real fucking high to have kids with you lol

y/n: um excuse me i’m right here yk?

hobi: I HAVE NO KIDS

DEFINITELY NOT WITH YOU ANWAYS

y/n: wtf is that supposed to mean

hobi: UR GROSS

YOU MAKE ME WANT TO THROW UP

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

y/n: ur really upsetting me rn

hobi: i’m sorry

y/n: it’s okay… ig

hobi: 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

y/n: STOP

hobi: stop shouting at me slut

y/n: slut??

hobi: wtf you just call me

y/n: ur not in ur right mind rn baby pls sober up and come home

hobi: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

UR SO NASTY

I HATW YOU

STOP TALKING TO ME LIKE THAT

i’m not into you

y/n: really i couldn’t tell

hobi: u must be dumb as fuck

y/n: this is not the sunshine hoseok i know and i love

hobi: i hate you

the thought of you makes me gag

y/n: ur really fucking mean

i’m into it tho

hobi: i’ll never be into you

y/n: pls be my boyfriend

hobi: to be honest i would rather be broke and have no legs

y/n: that’s hot

hobi: LEAVE ME ALONE

NAMJOON -

namjoon: make one more tweet about us being together

and i stg

y/n: thought you were an atheist?

namjoon: stop

y/n: baby

namjoon: we are NOT dating pls

y/n: please what my amazing boyfriend??

namjoon: i can sue you yk?

y/n: ur gonna sue me >.<

little old me joon 🥺??

namjoon: yes

ur stressing me out

y/n: but ur soooo in love with me right

namjoon: no

y/n: hey be honest

namjoon: i am

y/n: i’m gonna cry

namjoon: no ur not

y/n: okay i’m not

but internally i will

namjoon: that’s fine by me

y/n: ur sick

namjoon: sick and single

wouldn’t want it any other way

y/n: STOP LYING

i could make you a father rn

namjoon: decided parenthood isn’t for me actually

y/n: and when did you decide that

namjoon: just now

y/n: ur making this difficult

namjoon: i am??

that sucks ig you’ll just have to give up

y/n: i am no quitter

you will be mine

namjoon: should i call the police?

y/n: hot

namjoon: i’m going to stop speaking to you now

y/n: can you not feel our connection joon

namjoon: i can feel my hands reaching for the block button

y/n: boo

SEOKJIN -

jin: WHY DID YOU TELL BANG PD WE ARE DATING????

y/n: wanted to see if he would fire you or not lol

jin: WTF IS UR ISSUE

WHAT IF HE DID FIRE ME????

y/n: we could of been like hyuna and dawn

jin: WE ARE NOT TOGETHER

y/n: we could be lol *smirks and winks*

jin: IM GONNA GET YOU FOR DEFORMATION OF CHARACTER FUCK YOU

y/n: i think we soulmates ong

jin: WE ARE ABOUT TO BE FUCKING CELLMATES WHEN I FIND YOU

y/n: you want me so bad omg 🤭

that a promise or a threat babe *winks again*

jin: STOP WINKING AT ME

y/n: never *winks for the third time*

say you want me

jin: ARE YOU OK????

WHY WOULD I EVER SAY THAT

y/n: sometimes YOU are ur biggest enemy jin

stop getting in the way of ur own happiness

jin: I WAS HAPPY UNTIL I MET YOU

y/n: you know who was happy

bang pd when i told him our news 💗

jin: OUR NEWS?????

y/n: 20.05.24 👶🏽🤫

jin: SAY UR LYING

TELL ME UR FUCKING LYING

YOU DID NOT

TELL ME UR LYING RN

TELL ME

y/n: i’m lying

jin: NO UR NOT YOU DID

OFC YOU DID

y/n: did i?

jin: DID YOU??? TELL ME

ARE YOU LYING TELL ME THE TRUTH

DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT TELL HIM YOU WERE PREGNANT WITH MY BABY

y/n: you’ll have to ask him babe

jin: ILL KILL YOU

I WILL

I MEAN IT

y/n: do you love me yes or no

jin: STOP SPEAKING RN STOP STOP STOP

y/n: i hope the baby doesn’t have ur anger issues geez

jin: THERE IS NO BABY THERE IS NO LOVE LEAVE ME ALONE LEAVE ME ALONE

y/n: someone’s on his period omg

JUNGKOOK -

y/n: you want me

jk: ?????????????????????

y/n: you want me

jk: yeah

y/n: jungkook

jk: i’m sorry

i don’t like playing hard to get

it just isn’t me

i’m easy

y/n: wow ur just a common whore

jk: yeah :/

y/n: slut

jk: i’ll cum

y/n: ??????

jk: sorry

i’ll be good

y/n: stop

jk: do you want me?

y/n: JUNGKOOK

jk: sorry

i’m sorry

ok i’ll do it right this time i swear

y/n: hi lol

jk: FUCK OFF I HATE YOU I DO NOT WANT YOU GO AWAY BITCH WHORE LEAVE WOOF WOOF ARF WOOFFFFFF

y/n: did you just bark at me???

jk: am i a good boy?

IM SORRY OH MY GOD I WANT YOU SO BAD I CANT PRETEND I DONT PLS STOP MAKING ME DO THIS OH MY GOD

y/n: this isn’t working out

jk: right

let’s just date

y/n: i bet tae would play hard to get for me

jk: NO HE WOULDN’T

y/n: i can see it now

i’m getting all excited >.<

jk: NONONONONONO

y/n: bet he would block me

so i would have to email him

jk: STOP

y/n: my man 💗

jk: why do you want a man that doesn’t want you

y/n: i like a challenge

which you are clearly NOT

jk: that’s fucked up

y/n: are you kink shaming me rn??

but when you barked at me it was ok

men these days…

jk: this is a kink?

y/n: no wtf i’m not a perv??

jk: what

y/n: do you want me?

jk: y/n

y/n: jungkook

jk: no….

y/n: hehhehehehee

jk: this has to be some type of mental illness

y/n: how many kids do you want

jk: none…

y/n: you play sm baby omg 🤭

jk: i’m really upset actually

y/n: need me to hold you?

jk: please

please leave me alone

y/n: wow i’m so in love with you

LAMOSODD SORRY YOU WAITED FOR THIS FLOP OF A PIECE IM SICK AS HELL THIS IS SO UPSETTING I TRIED TO MAKE THIS LIKE A LITTLE DIFFERENT TO THE GF ONE BUT IDK IF THIS IS HITTING THE SAME anways dropping a gc piece along with this to make up for this shit sorry love u

also sorry cuz this feels short as fuck sorry again smh smh

[starbright-sunset]

I Wanna Love You Both [Pt. 1]

Skate was lying in bed with his boyfriend Coil, eyes digging holes into the ceiling above them. Skate was lost, deep in thoughts and all sorts of situations swirling around in his mind. It was starting to give him a bit of a headache. Ow, he didn’t like it. He didn’t like it one bit. He closed his eyes, shifting his head to the side slightly as he felt Coil nuzzle his face deeper against his throat, his boyfriend’s breath grazing his skin. The two had been together for a while now, about a year or so. Skate always sucked with time, so their relationship could’ve been much longer and he was just dumb and couldn’t remember. Yeah, he was probably just being dumb by all means. Him and Coil were really close, the bestest of best friends, but there was a moment in time where Skate’s feelings had shifted into something more romantic. He had been scared, absolutely terrified, he didn’t want to tell Coil his feelings in fear of ruining the totally rad and killer friendship the two had for years. But he managed to do it, he managed to tell his feelings. He had been a mess, stumbling over his words and looking like a total fucking loser in his mind. To Coil, Skate was the cutest ever and returned his feelings full force. Skate had been so happy, so fucking happy. Lately tho, he’s realized he has feelings for someone else too now. Boombox. Another good friend of the skater demon. All sorts of romantic thoughts flooded his head whenever he was with the green DJ. Thoughts of holding hands, thoughts of kissing. The same thoughts he’d have about Coil. Hell! Skate slowly realized he had thoughts about doing that kind of stuff with both of them. Snuggling up with them, kissing both of them, going out on cute little dates and having the best time of his life. He wanted both of them. He wanted them both SO badly. A gentle nip at his neck broke him from his mental spiral, head tilting towards the bi-colored demon. Shit, Coil could always tell when he was worried. Sometimes he hated that, most of the time he loved it. Coil moved one hand down, fitting it snuggly against Skate’s hip before giving it a loving squeeze. “Somethin’ wrong, baby?” Gods above, that nickname, “baby”, it always made Skate melt. Coil made him melt, Boombox made him melt. Fucking god. Skate lie there, eyes locked with the bi-colored demon’s. Coil opened his mouth, about to say something else before Skate interrupted him. “Coil?” Coil raised an eyebrow, cocking his head to the side. “Would… Would you be mad if I told you I had a crush on someone?” Coil cock up an eyebrow before answering. “No, why?” Skate relaxed. Okay, cool! Coil wouldn’t be mad at him. He still hesitated, trying to gain the mental strength to continue on. A small silence washed over the two before Skate continued.

“I… I’ve been like- Havin’ feelings for BB. And like- They’re the same feelings I have for you, man. Like- Romantic shit. I wanna cuddle up to him, I wanna kiss him and shit like that. I wanna get all gross and lovey dovey. Just like I do with you. I never said anything because…. Because I was like- Worried you’d hate me. I hope you don’t hate me- Please don’t hate me.” Coil sat there and listened, waiting until the other was done before speaking. “Baby. If you wanna be datin’ someone else while datin’ me then I don’t really care. I wouldda been hella pissed off you started datin’ Double B and you hadn’t told me.” Skate relaxed more, his cheeks burning with embarrassment. God, why had he been so nervous? Coil was always the chiller one out of them. He always seemed so understanding. Or well, at least he seemed understanding of Skate and his emotions specifically. Skate’s tail twitched, the red demon needing a moment before continuing. “So… Would you be like- Good if I asked him out? And that I like- Dated both of you?” “Course. Who knows, maybe I’ll earn myself a second boyfriend too.” The canine demon said with a grin. Skate snickered with an eye roll, adjusting his position to better snuggle up to Coil. He closed his eyes, breathing in his boyfriend’s scent. Coil always had this comforting musk to him, a scent that made Skate relax and his tail idly swish against the bed. “Maybe… Maybe tomorrow I’ll talk to BB…” “Yeah, I can come with ya if you want me too.” Skate shook his head, hugging onto Coil tightly. “I can do it myself, big guy. But…” Coil brought his clawed hand up, slowly moving the digits through his boyfriend’s hair. “But thank you for not… Y’know… Thinking it would be weird for me to love you and BB the same way. It- It means a lot, y’know?” Coil chuckled, leaning down and pressing a kiss between Skate’s eyes. “‘Course baby. Thanks for tellin’ me.” “Love you, Coil.” “Love you too, Skater.”

[sordidmusings]

Update! (Again lol): plans, loss, and music

Howdy doody! I’ll get to the fic stuff lickety split cuz I imagine that’s the most pertinent for most. Next TLC soon to be posted and the part after that under way again! Just have to finish up checking up the next section as it was done before but was one of the fics claimed by one of my cringy “want to delete my existence” moods 💀🤡 that’s where my ao3 and masterlist went too so whoops lol did save my stuff from getting posted under someone else’s name once so sometimes that cringe instinct works out for the better 👌🏻 still trying to kick the habit tho 💀 but yeah just gotta clean it over and get it back up again! Thank you for your patience 🤍

Comfort fic with Croc is well underway! Sorry that that’s taking longer than expected and an even bigger sorry to the request for Croc and reader team bonding smut cuz that boys been taking ten million years. Both of you, I appreciate your patience too and hope to make it worth the wait!!

X Marine reader headcanons almost done in their first part! Doing the first installment as general headcanons/vibe and the backstory for them, the second being a detailed how they met, and the third being a big event for the relationship like a confession or one saving the other or coming to terms with the relationship being doomed etc etc. it kinda spiraled out of control on ideas as I have a tendency to do sorry 😅

Besides a Law fic, those are the priorities right now tho there’s also kinktober to discuss. I’ve always always wanted to do kinktober but I’m still not good enough. I’ve been trying to do some prep for it and think I may be able to get many headcanons out for the month on it but again I’m not at a quality or in life circumstances where I can make it happen with actual fic this year.

And with life circumstances, yeah there’s business with jobs and obligations and taking care of people and trying to take care of myself, but my great struggle for the past stretch of weeks and onwards is the death of my mentor, friend, and father figure who was my piano teacher. He was older but it was very sudden and we’ve all been scrambling to contend with the loss of him and try to keep all the programs he was running afloat and keep his memory and influence alive. His reach in the music community and the genuine depth with which he connected to others is now a huge wound for many of us. He was a person of exceptional quality and heart. There’s a memorial concert for him mid October that I’m one of the performers in and I’m glad it’s forcing me to practice because piano has been really hurting. Everything has been. I was already struggling to keep on top of things and in the face of this I really am floundering pretty bad, despite trying to take care of it myself cuz I know I was already asking much of others having to listen to me sometimes and most people go mute in the face of death and I don’t want that to be my experience with others right now.

So to share something more positive in this experience, here is a snippet of the piece I’m polishing back up for the memorial concert.

You’ll hear me mention briefly in the middle a “church bells section”. I was talking with @gingernut1314 about this piece while showing her some other stuff and so I gave context about why I chose it for his memorial. For ease imma just pop in a copy of that lol

{This is from the piece that I’m polishing back up for Ian’s memorial concert! It’s the second movement of Debussy’s Images for Piano. I finished learning all three with Ian. The first is likely my favorite, the third is a MONSTER (but that atm just kinda makes me want to get that back up again too to Conquer it lol), but the second one has the right mood for a memorial and is the one I spent the most time working on with him for expression (took forever to get it right and some of it was still only like just almost there when my recital came around 🤡) and it was the one I think he was happiest with how I played in the end. The final bit of the movement is just breathtaking and peaceful tho it does end sad. Ian talked about his time studying in Europe and visiting France and church bells echo on the mountainside there and that that’s the type of imagery to evoke there. He was a devout man himself and I thought that that being the end to something I play for his memory would make him happy.}

Thank again sweet pea for your time listening to me play and talk about classical piano and such in general!!! I appreciate you 🧡🧡🧡 and thank you to any of you who give this vid a listen and have this post a read. I hope to bring actual substance and treats to you all soon!!! I working on it I swear 💀💀💀

On a final note that sums basically all this shit up, that mentioned Law fic is something I’ve been mucking through to process some by engaging with a death that isn’t related to me. So! It is a fic where reader helps Law finally open up all the festering feelings and thoughts he wouldn’t let himself express around Cora’s death. I’ll give a more proper shout out there, but thank you to the people who have shown me kindness and understanding and friendship in the past couple months. You all know who you are (hopefully haha) - I try to impress these things directly to you as well but it felt right to say it here as well. Interacting with you all has impacted me positivity and you all make the world a more welcoming and loving place 🤍🤍🤍

I’d also like to extend a thank you to anyone interacting with any of my posts! I often feel invisible and unworthy so acknowledgements even small and passing are a nice !!!! to my brain and I appreciate it❣️

Talk to yall soon!

Oh and as a stupid ps cuz I forget things and have nowhere else to put this random thought - expect some One Piece crochet content sometime dhdjfhkdnd I’m finally almost fuckin done with a damn Bepo design that’s been fighting me forever 😤😤😤 same with a Cora swan lol might sneak some regular crochet and more piano in there too for shits and giggles but we’ll see - anyone else get The Guilt when you post things that don’t feel like the thing you promised or should ehcjfjldmccl cuz this bitch do and it keeps me from doing like anything cuz I’ve got a clinical case of the Brain Sillies 🤷🏼‍♀️ anyway - smooches!!!!

Oh and if you’re afraid to comment or like cuz the death topic - I won’t think anyone is being an ass for not mentioning it lol I brought it up for context and because he is so important to me not because I expect people on a post to do something about it. So as with all my content, no worries!! This is a Chill Zone that just so happens to have sad hours semi regularly but we vibe lol

[little-red-fool]

OMG YOU'RE SEVENTEEN?? (I've been following you for months and I didn't once read the pinned message beyond the line about no AI and NFTs lmao) YOUR ART IS SO CRISPY I THOUGHT YOU WERE A PRO ARTIST AROUND 30 WTF

(sorry for the yelling via text)

HOW DID YOU GET SO GOOD!! (Tips on lineart please?) WE'RE THE SAME AGE, BUT HALF OF MY ART IS SHIT AND THE OTHER HALF IS FART

ALL HAIL LITTLE RED FOOL, BESTOW THY GREATNESS UPON THOU MERE MORTAL SERVANTS

But in all seriousness, any tips on, like I said, lineart or just digital art in general? (I just started digital, and... Ten hours of work and I'm just on base colors 😎🕶️🤏🥲) I love, LOVE your style and especially COLOR! How do you tie it all together? Like, I'm 17 too, but I'm not even close to your stuff?? I'm scared as fuck from ever trying color traditionally because I spend SO MUCH TIME ON A SKETCH, so I just picked up digital and HOURS LATER IT'S STILL AWFUL

Sorry for the rambling and repeating, man, it's been a long day and it's late in the Balkans... Don't let the rambling force you into answering tho

Have a good one. ->excited fellow artist

(tip of the day: did you know that in Romanian, moon and month are the same word, with the same pronunciation, spelling and plural? It's called: lună [loonuh] and I think it comes from latin, since Romanian is a heavily latin language, with bits of french and turkish (HEAVY bits), dacian, slavic, italian)

OUAHFSHD THANK YOU SO MUCH I’M REALLY HAPPY YOU LIKE MY ART!! Also I’m sure your art is better than you think it is (we generally tend to view our own creations as worse than others because we’re the ones that made them, don’t worry I’m the same as well ajdbsjd) but yeah I’ll be happy to give you some tips and stuff! (and yeah I never colour traditionally either I just leave everything in plain biro because I don’t want to mess it up lol)

(I haven’t seen your art so these will probably be more general tips but hopefully they’ll help a bit, also keep in mind that I’m not a professional so this will be more about what has worked for me but I hope it might help you a bit)

So for stuff like lineart, avoid using chicken-scratches—it might seem easier or less daunting to do shorter overlapping lines like that but it will give your sketches and drawings that overall fuzzy look, the trick is to have longer confident strokes. It might seem a bit tricky at first if you haven’t done it before so don’t worry it happens but if you keep practicing they’ll eventually look smoother and less shaky. For the longer lines it better to draw from either your elbow or shoulder, and by that I mean keeping your wrist still and letting the larger parts of your arm do most of the work—this will also help your wrist in the long run. For things like shorter lines and smaller details then absolutely use your hand to move the pen, but generally try to use your elbow and shoulder as it will help you get those longer smoother lines. Also this is just a personal preference of mine but I generally use brushes that have a bit of pressure sensitivity which helps add some line weight. If you don’t have pressure sensitivity another way you can get line weight is by taking an eraser to some of the edges and narrowing some parts.

For colours it mainly depends on the lighting—lighting is everything and will affect how the rest of the colours will look, so it’s important to have an idea of the brightness and colour of your lighting. The background also plays an important role in picking colours for me as well as it helps provide colour context and makes it easier to pick colours by eye if you want a certain mood. If you want a more dependable way on getting colours to match up then I’d recommend having a layer that’s just colour on top of the rest of your piece—you can play around with the blending modes and opacity, I mainly use either an overlay layer with a medium colour that’s slightly desaturated or a colour burn layer with a light saturated colour; most of the time I use colour burn because if you put it over your lineart then it will also tint the parts of your lineart or sketch that’s at a lower opacity too. But with figuring out colours I’d highly recommend researching some stuff about colour theory, there are a lot of good and easy to understand explanations and art tutorials on YouTube so I would recommend starting there (unfortunately I can’t link recommend specific videos because my playlists are a mess ajdbsjdbsj but some good channels to learn from are Sinix Design, Marc Brunet and Marco Bucci).

In terms of general digital art tips, ALWAYS FLIP YOUR CANVAS. You will not believe the amount of times I’ve looked at a drawing and thought it looked pretty good, flipped the canvas and found that everything’s wonky. In cases like these the liquify tool is your best friend, as well as the lasso tool and transform tools, as well as just manually fixing them by redrawing some parts. Also use as many layers as you need, and by this I mean if you’re working on your sketch, lineart or colouring or whatever and you want to do something you’re not sure you’ll like, duplicate the layers so you have a backup in case it goes wrong and you want to go back. When I say use as many layers as you need I mean use as many as you need, these are some of mine and they’re all from just one sketch because I get really anxious about messing stuff up lol, also don’t be afraid of drawing separate parts on separate layers and merging them afterwards if you want.

Also take your time, unless you have a deadline don’t feel like you have to complete a drawing within a certain timeframe, if you want to get faster at drawing then that’s great but don’t feel like you need to push yourself, especially if you’re just starting. Practice takes time and patience is your best friend, and you probably hear lots of other artists saying this but trust the process. You might get to a bit you’re struggling with and not like it and want to abandon the drawing, but I found that rather than saying “this is bad” or “this is wrong” start asking “how can I make this work” because a change in mindset can help you a lot with art. Also don’t feel like you have to reach certain milestones with your art by certain points either, like with the age thing and comparing your progress with other artists of either the same or different ages, because it can make you feel worse about your art. Trust me there are some artists younger than me who are like 14 or 15 who’s art I envy and—again with the mindset thing—instead of getting down that your art isn’t similar to their’s or worrying that you’re “behind” in your artistic development (there is no such thing btw everyone learns at different ages and speeds so don’t feel bad if you haven’t progressed as much as you would have liked to) it helps to ask what you like about their art and what you would like to incorporate into your own—this has helped me learn and improve a lot faster.

I don’t know if I have any more tips at the moment, but I hope that answered some of your questions! (also sorry it’s a bit long or some bits don’t make a lot of sense I like to ramble a bit lol) (also also thank you for the little fact as well!)

Have a nice day anon 🧡

[occasionallyprosie]

hi prosie!! :D

So I dunno if you listen to it, but the song Legendary from Epic: The Musical literally just gave me an animatic idea based off of your A Thousand Ways fic. Since in the most recent chapter we saw that alternate Twi was Legend’s dad and the king and stuff like that, my brain just went- if legend had lived in the palace with his mom and fable but Twi still died, he would be Telemachus in this song and be talking about Twi. One, the song is literally called Legendary and two, the next song is literally called Little Wolf, like- Athena could be Hylia and she could have known the two heroes and ahidhdksjsksbkdi, turns out I love your fics so much I get ideas over them apparently.

But yeah, I probably won’t be able to draw the whole animatic because sadly my imagination and animatic talent are not equal, so most of it will have to remain in my head and cause my brain is stupid and doesn’t focus on things longer than like-a day, but!! If I ever draw anything I’ll be sure to either send it in an ask or tag you!!

but yeah, now that that mini rant is over, how’ve you been prosie?

Here’s the song btw

HI KIWI!!! :D

Oh? I hadn't actually listened to the Wisdom Saga yet, but I love EPIC!! Apologies for taking so long to respond, but I just listened through the songs a couple times and Jorge and the EPIC cast never miss???

I can definitely see it! OMG I Love That Idea!!! Tbh I'd more so see Fi in Athena in Little Wolf, but Hylia works too (I've done Fi as Athena before lol) EPIC is just so applicable for the Chain, I haven't tried but you could totally relate any song to each of the Links!

If you do make anything for it, absolutely let me know! I'd probably cry over it XD and I've started trying to get more into art bc you never improve if you don't start, so I'm trying to start

I'm doing good!! I've relapsed and returned to an old fixation and have written... so much for it. I need to back up tho to get working on whumptober, bc I miss Legend and have 31 prompts to attempt and draw inspiration/motivation from >:)

Wbu? How's things going?

[wesslan]

20 questions for writers

thank you @adelfie for the tag<3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

18! (and one hidden). i did not think it was that many??? thought it was 10 tops, lol

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

272,860

3. What fandoms do you write for?

batman, used to write some dsmp, but now im kinda eeh about it. i also (for some godforsaken reason) have a harry potter WIP thats been sitting in my docs for like two years that i kinda wanna finish, kinda not (jk r*wling suck my dick challenge)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

cards on the table

when in gotham: don’t drink the water

robin radio

o bury me not on the lone prairie

and their dreams they dreamed awake

5. Do you respond to comments?

i try!!!! the number overwhelms me sometimes, but i try to answer when i have the energy! :,)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

oh god, i mean… i pretty much only write happy/hopeful endings🤠 mayyyybe ‘you have (1) new message’? its not all the way angsty but it’s kind of?? angsty??

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

gee whizz buddy see above and take your pick, really

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i have gotten one (1) hate comment and i treasured it dearly until the person that posted it deleted it😭 other than that, nawt really. some people give unsolicited advice/critique, but thats about it

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

nope. not really my thing

10. Do you write crossovers?

again, not really my thing.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of! sure hope it stays that way

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yesss!!! so cool! they asked permission, and now my fic exists in a whole other language!!!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no, and i think i’d be really awful at it. i cant say no to stuff, i cant keep deadlines, and i dont enjoy people being in the kitchen when i cook, so to speak

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

BAYBEY!! you KNOW i was a klance shipper first and a human second when i was like? 14? now tho? i’m shipping myself with sixteen hours of sleep and financial freedom. but also, deep in my heart,,,, charlie and carlisle from twilight. you could have been so beautiful.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

man at this point, who knows what i’ll finish. maybe instant repeater ‘99. i LOVE the concept and the world building. but also i kinda left the fandom,,,

16. What are your writing strengths?

people (including my interactive storytelling teacher) have told me im good at writing distinct characters/realistic dialogue! so i guess that! :,D

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

CONSISTENCY. finishing things. ending up hating what i’ve written like 3 months after it’s done.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

well,,, that’s what i always do. english is another language to me! cop out answer, lmao. but other than that, i guess i could be persuaded to write a few lines in spanish here and there. did study it for 7 years, after all.

overall, i thinks it pretty cool! as long as there is an ez translation somewhere, easy to understand without a translation, or if it’s not done in a way that bi/multilinguals absolutely would not speak B)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

oh god. percy jackson. it’s still out there somewhere. i forgot my username and password so i’ll prolly never find it (thank god) but yeah. it was solangelo bc i was closeted and emo.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

probably ‘mothman is real and he wants to kill me’. i had a lot of fun with it! i also really like ‘*cocks gun* manor’s haunted’ just because i based it off of the haunting of hill house which is like, one of the best books ever.

that was fun!!! thanks again for the tag! <3 i’m tagging whoever wants to do this, and also (no pressure) @quotidian-oblivion

puss å kram, skumbanan!!❤️

[asordinaryppl]

A3! Main Story: Part 4 - Act 14: DREAM CATCHER - Episode 14: Travel Tales

Izumi: We’re home.

Sakuya: Welcome home!

Kazunari: *yawn*~ We’re back.

Chikage: You seem sleepy.

Citron: Must be wet lag~

Kazunari: Jet lag~ I did sleep a bit on the plane, tho.

Misumi: We brought lots of souvenirs~

Banri: You even gathered triangle goods from the US?

Misumi: Yup! A triangle flag, a triangle chocolate bar, a triangle cookie, a triangle hat and a triangle mirror.

Misumi: And also a triangle bag and a triangle keyholder…

Itaru: Status ailment: Gestaltzerfall…

Yuki: I bought cosmetics for Azu-nee and Azami. These items are limited to American stores, apparently. I also found the things you asked for.

Azami: Thanks. That's the stuff I wanted. They're expensive here, even more so 'cause they're imported.

Azuma: Thank you. I’ll use it carefully.

Muku: Ju-chan, we also bought lots of sweets, like chocolate.

Juza: Won’t have to worry about snacks for a while.

Kumon: Also, we bought that yummy ranch dressing we had. It can be used for salads, but also potatoes and pizza.

Omi: Oh, you don’t see that in Japan often. We should try it for dinner tonight.

Kazunari: Furuuche-san, we also brought alcohol. We don’t have this whiskey here in Japan yet.

Sakyo: Lookin’ forward to trying this.

Kumon: We also got pamphlets for the musical, and some limited edition merch~

Tsumugi: I want to look at the pamphlet later.

Tasuku: How was it?

Kumon: It was the best! I wish I could’ve seen even more!

Guy: Is that so? I would also like to see one again.

Homare: How does the Winter Troupe also going on an overseas training trip sound?

Tsumugi: Sounds like we’ll be going to watch some kind of play every day.

Tsuzuru: Oh, you guys are back. Great timing, I’m done with the script.

Kumon: Really!? I wanna read it!

Tenma: Hit us with it.

Tsuzuru: Eh? No, don’t you guys wanna take a break–

Kazunari: We got a bunch of inspo on our trip, and we’re super hyped and rearing to go right now!

Misumi: I wanna act as soon as possible!

Tsuzuru: R-Really? Then, I’ll hand ‘em out.

Muku: Wahhh, I can’t wait to read it!

-

Tsuzuru: While keeping everyone’s requests in mind, I tried writing it so everyone is a protagonist like in the first performance.

Tsuzuru: Also, while everyone was separated based on the original story before, they’ve now come together as one team.

Tsuzuru: I think that way we can bring out the Summer Troupe’s colors.

Kazunari: Everyone going on an adventure together sounds super fun~!

Kumon: My role is the Genie of the Ring! I’m so happy I get to be friends with everyone!

Tenma: We have to get over our jet lag before we start practicing for real.

-

[Loud erasing]

Yuki: …

Tenma: Are you drawing the rough designs?

Yuki: Yeah. I need to put results of our study trip into practice.

Tenma: Are our outfits also gonna change, like the Spring Troupe’s did?

Yuki: For RomiJuli, I had to keep in mind the passage of time and the changes in the characters’ positions as I created their outfits, but for the Summer Troupe’s sequel…

Yuki:  It’s still under consideration. I also have to talk it through with Azami.

[Phone buzzing]

Tenma: — —

Yuki: You’ll distract me if you talk on the phone, so go outside.

Tenma: Yeah, yeah.

-

Cat: Meow~

Misumi: Yup, the moon is a full circle tonight~ It’s perfect for a walk.

Tenma: No, but I can’t just–

Tenma: … I understand.

Misumi: ?

previous episode | masterpost | next episode

[masespace]

wednesday | 22 october

anyone else have a twin sister go on what has to be a fake date with the guy they were just seeing? nope… just me… that’s what i thought.

in other news i left the cheerios. this was harder than leaving the new directions. probably because it was at least successful for me and i’ve been cheering since before i could walk. i don’t have any conscious memories that don’t involve cheering in some way? whether it’s camps before i was really old enough to handle sleep away camps. or learning all the best way to keep my shoes white… i can even remember the routine sue made us do at tryouts freshman year. i think it’s easier to excuse what she does because she gets results. if schue’s lessons were traumatizing and i needed to step back it only felt like i was lying to myself by sticking around. i didn’t think i’d have the balls to do it though. even walking into sue’s office in regular clothes i though she’d look at me and i’d make up some excuse. it’s silly that this is the bravest thing i’ve ever done, but it definitely feels like it.

of course it blew up in my face. the part about trying to figure out who you are is the questioning. i get that i’ve been quitting a lot lately but is that some mystery cry for help? i didn’t think that it would be so apparently this is just added to the list of things i did wrong.

mads i should have expected… that was a given. not that i was exactly in any mood to talk with her about it. maybe it’s petty… not maybe, it definitely was… and at some point i’ll have to own up to that… but it feels like i’m supposed to be the bigger person

even addie was pressed… which yeah, i’m sure it sucked hearing about it at practice but i don’t control how sue distributes information… and i probably owe her an apology too… even tho it’s not like she reached out when dave was in his weirdo phase with me and they're like besties… more on that in a second because it’s sort of why i should be the bigger person… i get that we were teammates and we went to breadstix last week, but she just got here and she’s acted like i dropped her during a stunt and totally wrecked our chances. the guys are great, we just did a bootcamp and didn’t really need to do any corrections… not that it matters because i’m not on the team, but they’ll be just fine without me there to do my tumbling passes.

speaking of dave… i think we’re okay? i told him we were okay… as okay as we can be given that apparently he’s been talking about me with everyone. and i said we were fine so it’s hypocritical to be mad at addie or even him because you can’t just tell people that you’ve moved on and then be petty but it’s a journal and it can’t count if no one else is ever gonna know.. right?

anyway, we’re okay… i think. mostly.

it’s just easier….

this is part of the problem maybe. i want the confrontation, but the aftermath is never fun. i don’t think that dave really meant to hurt me. we both said stuff… but it’s a high school relationship, y’know?

was a high school relationship.

i don’t think we’ll ever get back to the way we were, but keeping the peace feels like what you’re supposed to do. it’s what i want to do. at least for now. i’m pretty sure that he’s still hung up on me? i’ve been trying to make it clear that us being on speaking terms doesn’t mean we’ll be on kissing terms. i genuinely don’t think he’s a bad guy… at least for the stuff he did to me. maybe it’s just easier to think that he’s not malicious enough for that. i know he was a bully before, but i also know he doesn’t want to be that way now. you can’t change over night and extending grace is the right thing, right? 

i know sometimes that can’t be possible in every situation, but i think it could be now. i’ve already said it could be, so there’s no taking it back. and my eyes are open now. 

being out with dave might have been the first step in really being me. not the version of me that i thought everyone wanted. everyone at school knowing that i’m some flavor of queer and a weirdo that doesn’t care if boyfriend has other partners was freeing in a way that’s hard to put back in a bottle. maybe too freeing… but i also know what it’s like to hurt in a way that i didn’t before. so it wasn’t all bad? if i learned something? 

things aren’t entirely hopeless. freddie hasn’t given up on me. and i told him i’d be the hockey team manager so maybe i’ll have something else to do in my free time other than annoy spencer every morning. i don’t know if the team even needs a manager person, i’ll need to talk to adrián about that when it’s a more reasonable hour, i’m sure he’s still celebrating his birthday anyway and we aren’t close enough to slide into his dms this late and not have it be weird…

though with me i think things turning weird is almost inevitable. i can’t call myself cursed because i’m pretty sure the universe isn’t the one setting me up. maybe it’s self sabotage…

people think that this quitting streak i’ve been on could sabotage my college chances… yale always felt like a longshot and while carnegie, nyu, and u of m have marginally better odds they could be longshots too. i don’t think we’ve sunk low enough that i won’t cut it at ohio state, but maybe that won’t happen…

i never really considered what it would mean to not go to college. i was always going to go. i was going to be a collegiate cheerleader, major in something as impractical as theatre, and then make it in new york. it’s not exactly a career path you have to have a college degree in. plenty of social media darlings have managed to get their foot in the door, but that’s not me… i would have had to have stepped up my social media game ages ago to think that could be me. at this rate i’d just be another person juggling a collection of minimum wage jobs telling myself that the next audition would be the one… praying that raw talent would edge out people that have honed their skills at some of the best programs in the country. i know from experience not to bet on that… but what if that’s all i have to bet…

it a little early to be getting this fatalistic when i still have weeks before my early decision applications are due and weeks more until i’d even find out if i could get out of ohio… it’s just that for the first time it feels like i’m confronting this distinct possibility for the first time and i don’t like the way it sounds.

maybe freddie made a good point about a life of impractical wet short contests.

i think i have to stop while i’m ahead here… i’m not going to unspiral myself while continuing down this rabbit hole and i doubt future me is going to care about any of this. going to get some sleep before i’m even crankier than usual when spencer swings by in the morning.

mm

[artisticbunny]

(Tiredsleepytiredsleepyboredtiredsleepyboredsleepy—)

Right HELLO! I been out for a few days haha sorry ya missed me! Saturday’s my off day and I went to an art museum yesterday to see my works! (And the many others) Also been working on my hair a lot this weekend and stuff to get it done and out the way for the next month, so sorry I’m late! But I’m here now!

So! In regards to your ✨wonderful✨ tale of Whispering Willow, how about some Corey lore?! (I know I’m going for like all most abstract guys lol I was gonna make a joke in regards to fractions but later—) Half dead, ALSO BETRAYED BY HIS TEAM! Big brain enough to have a potion on hand tho! Ôwô

Was it in cold blood this time!? It sure smells like cold blood bro. No way that was fraud or frame or lies!! HIS TEAM LEFT HIM FOR DEAD!! AHHHHHHHHHH I CANT!

(But gosh dang I hope I’m wrong at the same time lol. Also writers block utterly terminated! Yeah! Random Bonus question too tho: anything ur working on currently? Just school or something more? If it’s a secret that’s cool of course, but if it’s shareable I’d like to know! :D Oki I’ll buzz off now lol I need to finish an essay before I get marked down ^^” keep being awesome as always! Love ya Bun! <333)

Sorry for how long it took to answer this!!! I’ve been busy too >w<

Tw for gore, because Corey DEFINITELY didn’t get away unscathed!!!

Cory’s story isn’t super complex, they mostly just wanted to provide for their family!

Corey was an adventurer for hire, in simplest terms. He would go and join other adventuring teams for short quests. They never really stuck with a single group for longer than one or two quests, always on the move, and only taking a fairly small cut of the reward as compensation. Corey’s mentality is that others have families they need to feed too, he doesn’t need as much for his small family than others may need for theirs. His family consists of his mother and his little sister. he loves them dearly. Corey knows the work they do is dangerous, but he genuinely enjoys what he does, and is the main breadwinner of his family.

When Corey was betrayed and left for dead in Dread Caverns, everyone thought they died. His mother and sister were distraught. They tried to murder him so they could have just that little bit more of the money. It was their greed that pushed them to commit murder. Obviously, they told the guild it was an accident in the cave that lead to his death.

Though nobody knew, Corey WAS still alive, technically. He tried for months to find a way to get out, but with his limited range of movement, it proved too difficult to climb out of the caves on his own. Though there was ONE good outcome from his being betrayed: now having no heartbeat, he was basically invisible to the beasts that roamed the cave system. The same beasts that feed off of the fear of their prey. The first person to find him came soon after they realized this. Some random adventurer, trying to collect minerals and resources from the cave in order to study it’s properties. Corey tried approaching this person to ask for help, but as soon as he stepped closer, they freaked out. Corey is, quite literally, walking death. He has his head smashed in, cuts all over him, his lip split in half, dried blood running down his face, and even the limping walk of a zombie. To be completely fair, seeing him come at you in a dark cave like that, I don’t really blame the guy for practically pissing his pants! It doesn’t really help that Corey is partially mute, only really able to get out short sentences at a time, so on top of it all, he was completely silent walking forward XD

The adventurer practically bolted out of the cave after that, and told the guild. Thus birthed the rumor of the “King of Fear”, believed to be behind the properties of Dread Caverns.

Many would come over the next few years, none of them willing to listen to reason. They tried to kill Corey. Out of self defense, Corey ended up killing them.

He would rack up quite the kill count before Brook came along. Corey hates what he’s had to do, and hates that he’s begun to kind of like it in a twisted weird way. They hate themself because of this. They feel evil. They think they’ve started going insane. Being isolated in the dark for years with only the occasional battle, it was akin to torture.

Brook, even while terrified out of her mind, was the first one to actually stop and listen to him. She helped him to escape and finally see the light of day after years underground.

Here’s the boy!!!

To answer your last question, yeah I’m mostly working on schoolwork right now haha! But I’m also working on a new profile picture since the one I have currently was originally made for Halloween XD I’ll finish it soon and post it for you guys to see when it’s done!

[frederickkatz]

Texts: Sparky (Cameron) & Freddie

@cameronslaw

[Following Wednesday]

Freddie: hey Sparky!

Freddie: sorry I was MIA, things got crazy busy with both jobs and the finding a place and then moving and it's been more chaotic than I expected

Freddie: hope you're ok, and specially not overthinking and blaming yourself cause you promised to be a good boy 😉

Cam: Freddie!

Cam: hi!

Cam: me overthinking? pffffffff

Cam: 😇

Cam: did you find a place?

Freddie: does it mean I'll have to punish you for not behaving as you promised?

Freddie: I did, I'm still finishing some touches but it's almost ready

Freddie: I'll send you the address as soon as it's all done

Freddie: how have you been¡

Cam: punish me??? but I’ve been the best boy!

Cam: I even did my homework

Cam: which, by the way, amounted to 42 kisses and 5 fucks

Cam: just saying

Cam: can't wait to see it!

Cam: I’ve been a bit bummed out tbh, but it's all better now

Cam: how about you? having fun decorating the new place?

Freddie: I'll ask Trevor just to make sure

Freddie: lmao! Good, I'm glad you're taking count tho you probably omitted the spanks

Freddie: ah! I knew it. I told you not to worry, I just needed to handle this, and I did tell you beforehand, so you didn't think I was ignoring you

Freddie: I'm fine. I'm not, I like how the place is, I'm just getting some furniture and brought my stuff from the hotel last night so I'm waiting for a few things to arrive, and it'll be set

Cam: ...okay fine, maybe I did overthink a bit, but Trevor helped me to stop

Cam: I don't choose the spanks; those are not my department 💅

Cam: I know!!! and I thank you a lot for it, it was the reason why I could get out of that spiral at some point, just

Cam: old habits die hard

Cam: but I am trying

Cam: oooh! so I’ll be able to come over in a couple of days then?

Freddie: That's good to hear. I'm glad he helped

Freddie: well a really good boys also knows when they don't behave right and when they deserve some spanks so...

Freddie: it's ok, I figured it would be hard cause you were taking a blame you didn't deserve, and you've done that before, so I figure it was a normal response from you when things go south

Freddie: I know, I'm proud of you for that

Freddie: tho I did miss hear from you, I figured you'd reach out, but I understand that probably you tried to give me space

Freddie: hopefully, yeah, if you want to of course

Cam: true... ok maybe I’m not such a good boy then

Cam: thank you

Cam: I missed talking to you, but I figured if you said you'd be a bit unreachable, me bugging you could mess something up

Cam: and I said I’d wait, right? so I waited

Cam: I’d love to!

Freddie: well but good boys earn their good status by behaving and accepting their punishment, but I'll let it pass this one-time cause of the distress 😘

Freddie: I appreciate that you gave me some space. If something like this happens again, don't hesitate to reach out. It might take me a bit, but I'll reply

Freddie: that's true, you did

Freddie: good! I'll send the address later today or tomorrow

Cam: you're the best 🫰🏼

Cam: ok!

Cam: ok!!!!

Cam: in the meantime tho

Cam: you're working tonight?

Cam: bc even tho you're this immortal super being, your vessel probably needs to rest too

Freddie: I know 😏

Freddie: not working tonight

Freddie: I've been resting. I meant it that you didn't have to worry. Maya let me borrow her apartment while I found my own so don't think I was struggling that much

Freddie: how was work? You didn't have another argument with Warren did you? I know his support is important for your project and I don't want that to be affected because he and I don't always see things eye to eye

Cam: well if you're not working, you're more than welcome to come over (:

Cam: I mean, I know how messy things get while moving, and I happen to have a warm bed with loads of space

Cam: we did

Cam: but I stand by what I said

Cam: and he didn't pull out of the project yet, so that's promising

Cam: work has been slow; we sent out a bunch of documents and I'm just waiting for signatures

Cam: just the boring part of being a lawyer I guess

Freddie: well that's sounds nice, only if I bring dinner. It's the least I could do after such a nice invitation

Freddie: Cameron. Please don't do that. Whatever are the problems between me and my brother shouldn't affect you. Especially with your job.

Freddie: hope you get everything back with the signatures you need

Freddie: any news on the kid you wanted to adopt?

Cam: you've got yourself a deal (: what are you in the mood for?

Cam: it's not light we're fighting! It was just a divergence of opinions

Cam: and it was not because of you either!

Cam: thanks

Cam: I'm not "adopting" her, just being her legal guardian, and YES! I'm seeing if I can bring her over for Thanksgiving (: I'm really excited about it

Cam: she's never been in a town with so many spn people before

Freddie: You. But you can choose dinner

Freddie: still. Don't make him your enemy please

Freddie: isn't that the same thing?

Freddie: that sounds nice

Freddie: hope it's not overwhelming for her

Cam: 🙈

Cam: Chinese?

Cam: don't plan to!

Cam: yeah, but with one I have a kid calling me Cameron and the other calling me dad

Cam: and I'm not exactly dad material 😛

Cam: thanks! I hope so too

Cam: I plan on introducing her slowly, so she makes friends around town and has people to hang out with during the holidays

Cam: do you have plans for Thanksgiving?

Freddie: what? Are you blushing now?

Freddie: Chinese it is

Freddie: ok good point

Freddie: how are you so sure about that?

Freddie: it's sounds good

Freddie: you do realize I don't celebrate holidays, right?

Cam: no??

Cam: I'm not exactly a good influence

Cam: or have any of the stability a kid need

Cam: well yeah but I can't imagine the bar will have any movement on Thanksgiving so I figured you'd have the day off

Cam: have you ever eaten Thanksgiving dinner? I think you'd like it

Freddie: ok, I'll believe that you're not blushed nor hard

Freddie: who says that?

Freddie: vampires don't celebrate the holidays either

Freddie: not on Thanksgiving but it's just another day for me really

Freddie: I assume everyone else in town has plans already so the best plan for me is to go through it as any other day

Cam: I didn't say anything about hard

Cam: idk it's kinda common sense

Cam: oh right

Cam: well

Cam: would you like to have plans for Thanksgiving?

Freddie

Freddie: and like it better when you're hard AND blushed

Freddie: it's not

Freddie: I don't really care. It's just like any other day for me tho this is the first time in actually in human form for it

Freddie: it's really doesn't really matter to me

Cam: guess you're gonna have to come around to find out 🙃

Cam: welp

Cam: I'll save you a plate of the traditional Thanksgiving dinner for when you get home from work then (:

Freddie: I'll be there in a bit. Need to get dinner first

Freddie: you really don't have to

Freddie: I figured you had plans with your family

Cam: ok!

Cam: what? the traditional Thanksgiving experience ™ is not about who's around, is all about the food, everybody knows that

Cam: not really, but I think dev and Adam might come over for dinner

Cam: we're not exactly an orthodox family lol

Freddie: like I said, I've tried all that before but not during the festivities

Freddie: well you have a brother, a brother-in-law, and a boyfriend. Seems like a family worth spending Thanksgiving with

Cam: and a guardianship over a teenage angel lol

Cam: but yeah I get it

Cam: btw, you can just pop inside if you'd like (: I'm gonna set the table

Cam: and yes, no dinner in bed tonight bc I know you and we're not gonna get around to eating if we do that lol

Freddie: true. A kid in the mix. Sounds like a perfect family setting for the festivities

Freddie: alright. I'll be there in 5

Freddie: good boy

Cam: will be ready by then

Cam: 😉

[hismercytomyjustice]

Jesus Christ writing dance scenes is fucking HARD. I’m pretty happy with how they’re turning out but SWEET WOUNDED JESUS I am not a dancer and I know fuck all about it.

…god the amount of fucking research I have yet again done for a crack fic…

I say this like I should even be remotely surprised at this point. That train left the fucking station so fast it’s like it was never even in it.

Fucking hours and hours and hours of research.

And the worst part? I HAVE LOVED EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF IT.

One of the things I love most about researching (aside from having an excuse to seek out and hoard absolutely fucking pointless information) is that it always gives me so many fucking ideas that I then get to try to weave in.

I will be SO SAD when the research for this fic comes to an end. It has been SUCH A JOY.

That is until I fucking start on the even crack-ier part three.

Because I’ve already decided I’m writing more shit that is WILDLY self-indulgent and ~nobody~ can fucking stop me!!!! Write the stupid crack you wanna see in the world amirite?

Fuck I have the absolute STUPIDEST idea for a plot and scene for part three and that alone is driving me to keep going. I just need to finish part two so I can be FREE. I am SO CLOSE to being finished. I really hope I finally finish it tomorrow.

Honestly idk what people are gonna think of it. It’s my first attempt at writing from Alastor’s POV and I’m also doing some shit I’ve never done before that idk how people will respond to it. BUT NOTHING VENTURED NOTHING GAINED. And I’m so proud of it and tbh that’s all that really matters, isn’t it?

…I still also gotta finish writing my BG3 fic to…BUT I have a few weeks of buffer on that so…. I’m feeling the urge to throw some more words down on it too, so hopefully I’ll be able to wrap it up soon. It is so fucking close to being done. Maybe another 15k-20k words. I can knock that out pretty quick if I get in the zone. And I already have it planned out. Jesus Christ is it gonna wind up being 100k??? SOMEONE SAVE ME FROM MYSELF.

Fucking hell it has hit 90 subs tho and that is such a wild fucking number and it just blows me the fuck away. Like 90 people like this fic enough to want updates as it comes out?! FUCKING FOR REAL?! There are N I N E T Y people out there who were like “ooh yeah I wanna keep reading this” and it’s something I wrote (?!) and if I think about it too much I get a little panicky but I am also so fucking grateful and humbled that my silly story has pulled in so many people and I feel so fucking #blessed about it all.

(ಥ﹏ಥ) I keep half expecting to check my stats and see everyone has come to their senses and unsubscribed, but it hasn’t happened yet and the number keeps going up and omg omg omg!!! It is UNREAL and SO FUCKING AMAZING!

God I still cannot believe how much fucking fun I’m having writing again after becoming pretty much convinced I might never be able to feel that way again. I was so scared that spark in me had finally fucking died or something and I was so depressed about it. BUT IT DIDN’T! It feels like a fucking dream. I love it so much. I have wanted to feel this way again about writing for so fucking long and it’s finally back and I’m terrified I’ll lose the excitement again but I’m really hoping I can stave off my OCD and keep going. I really don’t want to lose it again. I just want to keep writing and enjoying it whether it’s fanfic or original stuff or otherwise.

GOD I FUCKING MISSED WRITING SO FUCKING MUCH.

I know I am being WILDLY fucking obnoxious and annoying about it and my OCD keeps telling me to SHUT THE FUCK UP about it because I am probably driving people nuts, making everyone on the face of the planet hate me, etc etc etc. But that’s why I gush so much on here about it because I figure no one has to fucking read this shit unless they for some unknown reason actually would want to and people can mute and unfollow and block me if they are at their wits end but I hope putting most of my unhinged ramblings under cuts makes it so I’m only like 50% ridiculously obnoxious instead of 100% but who fucking knows. I would not blame a soul for getting sick of seeing my username popping up on their dash when I am in a hardcore rambling or reblogging mood.

I am just so fucking incandescently happy about it all and I am trying SO HARD not to drive the people in my life insane by talking about how excited I am to be writing again nonstop so I’m just talking to myself nonstop on here instead and just letting myself fucking enjoy the process and the excitement I have around it all. And god I KNOW I AM BEING SO FUCKING OBNOXIOUS despite everything but my therapist has also been encouraging me to just feel my feelings without judgment so… FEELINGS. They are being felt! Hopefully only 50% obnoxiously for any innocent bystanders.

Idk why it is so much easier to journal regularly on tumblr than on Penzu or elsewhere but it is and it’s working for me and if it makes everyone on the face of the planet block my annoying ass, so be it. I already spend too much of my fucking life second guessing every single thing I say or do and I’m gonna take my cringe wins where I fucking can. And I feel less self-conscious and annoying yelling into the void of tumblr, SO HERE WE ARE.

Fffffuck you OCD! (ง •̀_•́)ง I will also take my little mental illness wins where I fucking can, goddammit!!! And idk why venting about it on tumblr helps so much but it fucking does so. VENT I SHALL.

[madzenhaisof]

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiii okay yeah I’m back hello, I actually don’t know how long I’ve been gone this time didn’t care too check, also I think last time I said that I’ll only post again if I had something good to say about a girl but I also didn’t check to see if that was true. But anyways well…….. SIKE yeah I still have nothing good to say lol but it’s also not bad. I really have to get it off my chest which is why I’m on here because otherwise I think I might cry and I’m not crying over a girl, girls, or the subject of girls, like I promised my self that like back in 2015 like never again. Also off topic real quick back then I had gotten so hurt honestly probably can find my writing about it in here somewhere but I didn’t cry for real for like years like I really shut myself down until I saw inside out and it was the first time a movie had me crying and like there inside out 2 that’s out right now and I really want to see it lol but yeah back to the subject at hand. There’s this girl who I have a big crush on well there’s actually a few girls but we not gonna talk about them this is about this one girl who lowkey has the lead in the others because she’s older, I hang out with her more, and I just really love her personality, one of the other girls I don’t know that much about but I want to get to know her and the other one I only really talk to on IG. Anyways I have a crush on her but once again she doesn’t like me back. Like I kinda held out hope for maybe possibly but the way she talks to me I’m pretty sure she called me a good friend once and then tonight she find out I was MFING virgin and was like gods sculpting the right one for you and I’m like you the one bitch like damn. I just can’t win man. She was talking abt sex and all the stuff she likes and all I could think abt is her doing that shit to me like I like her so much man. But I have to get over it just like everyone else. I did find out she was bi tho which is kinda weird. But also found out she’s a freak and I want a freak so bad omg. I hate this, it’s literally not even about being single anymore or even a virgin. Like I honestly feel lonely all the time I feel super insecure all the time cause I’m just getting older with no body and I have no experience and I just don’t know what to do. I have no rizz I can’t talk to any one I just feel like a creep all the time. To make things worst a girl that prob talked abt on here before. I accidentally texted somehow cause I fell asleep with my phone open and it sent the craziest shit to her and tried to face time her to I think it was so weird and bad like I can’t man. Anyways actually starting to feel better getting all This out. Honestly just couldn’t leave all this shit in my head it was too much. Like I really don’t know what it’s abt me that just makes me a good friend and not a bf like how do I change from one to the other. Like damn I want to cry but I’m not gonna be a bitch I refuse. Imma get only my Xbox and play a fucking manly ass game. I don’t know what else to say low key lol I guess I’m done trauma dumping. I just hate when other dudes get what I want so bad. Don’t even know what I want for real. I want a relationship but I want to hook up just to learn shit for real. I just don’t know shit and it’s lowkey depressing. Also I have so much going on all the time that when I actually have stuff I rather do I can’t do it. Like all my friends are going out on Friday but I’ll be at my fuckkng family reunion. Now I gotta try to convince ppl to go out on July 27th instead like ughhhhh I hate my life. But I hate saying that because I also just generally love it so much. Also I’ve been a lazy ass and I need to get my shit together for my life and career. Having so much fun that life is just gonna blow me by and everyone would have moved on. Okay okay I think I’m done now actually hopefully lol. Didn’t realize how much I had to let off my chest till I started typing. I really needed this. Welp again thanks for listening hopefully next time I’ll have better news to say. Might actually try to wait till new years this time

[nerdyenby]

My top ten favorite season of ninjago (don’t hate me)

[Note that I’m not ranking DRs2 yet, as we’ve only seen the first half, but I fully expect it to make this list]

Dragons Rising season one: Energy

Prime Empire (fight me)

Master of the Mountain

March of the Oni

Tournament of Elements

Secrets of Forbidden Spinjitzu

Rise of the Snakes

Skybound

Posession

Crystallized

Obligatory reminder that that’s just my opinion

And for those of you who like confusing numbers, here’s the same information but listed objectively worse:

16

12

13

10

4

11

1

6

5

15

Now, I’m not going to try to justify my placements because we’d be here all week, so instead I’ll explain why the seasons that didn’t make the cut just don’t really do it for me

Legacy of the Green Ninja: the first half of this season is back to back bangers, but I just entirely lose interest when it comes to the actual dark island stuff. Idk why it just cannot hold my attention.

Rebooted: a fine season. It set us up beautifully for s4 and gave us a lot of incredible characters (Sensei Garmadon, Borg, Pixal), but it just messes with my sense of this universe so badly. That’s only kind of a complaint — because I actually find it super interesting to try to explain away — but it is majorly distracting for me personally and kinda just seems like poor planning. While this season did a great job with Pythor and managed to get me to kind of care about the Overlord, the nindroid army is woefully underdeveloped. Zane defends Pixal, saying she was just doing as she was programmed, but the same is true for literally all of them and we never even stop to entertain the notion that these nindroids also have the capacity to be, you know, people. That’s all pretty nitpicky tho, my real issue with this season is the stupid love triangle. Not to mention how forced Pixal’s existence is and how bland she is at first. I absolutely adore her as a character, but rebooted was just like “here’s a woman. she’s hot btw,” and I don’t really vibe with that.

Hands of Time: over hated imo, I feel like if the animation wasn’t noticeable worse than every other season we would all appreciate it a lot more. I think it actually did some really cool things, but you kinda lose me with the vermillion. Literally why are they there? The bad guys need lackeys, yeah, but why snake hivemind warriors? Idk, felt random and out of place. I feel like they could have also done more with the conflict between the Time Twins. Like they fundamentalists disagreed about what an ideal world looks like and they argue about it all the time, but they still work together like nothing happened? Anyway, all my complaints are fairly minor for this season, it’s just not much of a stand-out.

Sons of Garmadon: ninjago didn’t know what to do with itself after the movie came out and you can tell. They went more serious with the plot but the humor feels way more childish. It still hits most of the time, but it just feels off. I’ve come to like Harumi and her arc, but I feel like this season really suffers for it’s focus on her and Lloyd. It just lacks a lot of the team chemistry that makes ninjago ninjago imo. It’s all about Lloyd and the others are just kinda there, something that ninjago has impressively managed to never fall into before. What makes this series special to me is how it handles its characters and their dynamics, they all feel real and important, both to each other and to the story, but you could just say “yeah everyone’s dead” and the plot could more or less function as is. I do love what they did with Pixal tho.

Hunted: idk, it feels like they started to correct the whole issue I just talked about where none of the characters other than Lloyd matter, but the disconnect just doesn’t really do it for me. I’m fairly into the resistance plotline, and I’m kinda here for the First Realm shenanigans, but it’s just not really a stand out. S9 is always where I lose interest in my rewatch and I’ve never been able to figure out why. It does wonders for Lloyd and Nya’s relationship, and I am always here for lore, but otherwise I just kinda don’t care that much.

Seabound: she’s solid, it just doesn’t really stand out to me. Obviously having a Nya season is huge, but otherwise it’s just ninjago. That’s a good thing, but it also means it doesn’t stand out. I don’t really like Maya’s arc, and I’m really not a fan of how they just shoo Kai and Cole off to do a whole lotta not much. It felt so forced and unnecessary when s13 did a fucking superb job of keeping the rest of the cast busy and having it be entertaining, however I do recognize the real-world reasons at play so I don’t hold it against them. It does detract from my experience tho, and the rest of the season isn’t memorable enough to recover from that for me personally. Also it’s super shitty that they kill Nya off as soon as she gets to be the main character, they hate women so much and for what.