#i still have panic attacks but those ones were always like. ah i am Actually dying. complete certainty i’m having a heart attack

[danielnelsen]

a week ago i might have said i feel mostly ok, just a little off, but i am Suffering now. why can’t graves’ disease have fun symptoms like……………idk i can’t think of anything.

[griseldabanks]

Let Me Count the Ways ask game

Requested by @bunnyscar

Fandom: FMA (Foster Family AU) Characters: Roy Mustang and Edward Elric Prompt: "I can't believe I'm telling you this."

From the day he and Riza had decided to become foster parents, Roy had known his life would be forever changed. Their daily routines would have been disrupted no matter who they ended up with, but how much more so when the first children to grab their attention were two heavily traumatized boys, one with anger issues and only one leg, the other who didn't say a word and kept on trying to smuggle stray cats inside under his shirt.

It had been three years, and Roy thought he was well prepared for anything Ed and Al decided to throw at him. They'd lived through the night terrors and panic attacks. Al had finally started speaking, though he still tended to clam up around strangers because of the stutter he'd developed. After numerous shouting matches and slammed doors, Ed finally seemed to have mellowed out a bit, though he still turned his heavy metal music up loud when he was annoyed at Roy.

But Al called him 'Dad' now. And though Ed didn't, sometimes he would skip the grousing and griping and send a grin Roy's way that warmed him from head to foot. Maybe those two things meant he was actually doing an okay job at this.

But Ed always loved to keep him on his toes. One afternoon, during their usual game of chess once the day's lessons were over, while Riza took Al to his speech therapist, Ed said, “Hey, um...can I...ask for some advice?”

“Sure,” Roy said. “Move that pawn; my knight is about to take it.”

“What? No, not like that!” He moved the pawn anyway. “It's just...you're, like, married and stuff, right?”

Roy raised an amused eyebrow. “Yes, I am in fact 'married and stuff.'”

Ed shot him a dirty look, but plowed on anyway. “So you, like...you know...you've been on dates before. I mean, you had to have asked Riza out at least once before you got married, yeah?”

Straightening up from his contemplation of the board, Roy eyed the pink tinge of Ed's cheeks and started putting two and two together. “There's someone you're thinking of asking out?”

Ed hunched down in his chair, making himself even smaller than usual. “Knew I should've kept my mouth shut,” he mumbled.

Roy eyed his foster son, trying to suppress a gleeful smirk at the same time as a wave of wistfulness crashed over him. He should have known this day was coming. Ed was fifteen. He was starting to grow up.

“Don't worry, you've come to the right place,” he finally said, moving his bishop across the board. “As you so astutely pointed out, I have been on at least one date and managed not to screw it up long enough for us to get married. Clearly, I know a thing or two.”

Never mind the time Riza had slapped him so hard he saw stars when he got drunk and started flirting with someone else. And they wouldn't get into the crippling guilt that ate away at him for years after they discovered he couldn't give her the children she'd always wanted. Nor the way he pulled away from her in shame, thinking she resented him, while she spent the whole time worrying that he resented her. The important thing was that they'd worked through these issues, and they were still together. That had to count for something.

“So who is it?” he prompted when Ed just sat there, turning one of his captured pawns over and over in his hands.

“Does it matter?”

“Of course it does,” Roy said patiently. “Believe it or not, there's not just some magic formula to make any girl instantly fall in love with you. Every girl is different.” And I'm curious to find out who on earth could have caught the attention of my prickly homeschooled son.

Ed slid down even farther in his chair and stared up at the ceiling over Roy's head. “Ugh, I can't believe I'm telling you this....” He hesitated, his face going redder and redder till it was almost the same shade as his favorite hoodie. Finally, he mumbled, “It's Winry.”

“Ah....” Roy supposed he should have guessed that right away. They'd been friends their whole lives, neighbors for a large chunk of their childhood, and then Winry's grandmother had become the boys' legal guardian after the car crash. They didn't see each other as much now that they lived across the city, especially now that Winry was in high school. But when they'd gone to her tap-dance recital around Christmastime, Ed had gone strangely silent and awkward, barely saying a word to her when they met her after the show.

“There's...her school has a prom in May,” Ed mumbled. “And I...kinda wanna ask her? But like...what if I ask her and she says no? Or she just laughs at me? As if I know how to dance. I'll probably just end up stepping on her foot with this.” He kicked up his prosthetic leg, the one he usually wore around the house that looked nothing like a human appendage.

“Let me clue you in on a little secret,” Roy said, thinking back to his own awkward prom days. “Nobody knows how to dance at those things. Just put your hands on her shoulders and sway a little, and that should be enough. Or you could have her show you a few pointers.”

“That's if she says yes.” Now Ed looked faintly green. He stared up at the ceiling for a minute, then sat up straight and leaned forward almost desperately. “What if this ruins everything? What if I tell her how I feel and she turns me down and then everything's all awful forever and we can never be friends anymore? I don't wanna do that! If she doesn't wanna go out with me, I can't just...never talk to her again! Maybe I should just not say anything and just stay the way we are...but when I'm around her, I just...all I can think about is....” With a growl of frustration, he buried his face in his hands.

Roy tried to remember what it was like to be fifteen, the way a single glance or a single smile from a pretty girl could make all of his insides feel like they were on fire. In many ways, he was grateful for the age gap between him and Riza; three years was nothing to them now, but at the age of fifteen, he'd never even considered dating the scrawny twelve-year-old down the street. None of those complicated feelings had interfered with getting to know her until they were both older and much more mature.

“I think you should tell her,” Roy said. “Winry's a smart girl; it won't take her long to figure it out for herself. If she doesn't suspect already,” he added with a smirk.

“But what if she just laughs at me?” Ed moaned.

“What makes you think she would do that?”

Hunching his shoulders, Ed mumbled, “When we were, like, five...I kinda...asked her to marry me. And....” He took a deep breath, then finished in a rush, “Then she laughed and turned me down because she said she'd never marry anybody who was shorter than her!”

It was a good thing Roy had a good poker face. It was a good thing he'd had occasion to practice it quite often as a father of two teenage boys. Even so, he had to bite the inside of his lip to keep from bursting out laughing at the look on Ed's face.

“Well, say something!” Ed scowled down at his fists clenched on his knees, his face still red as a tomato.

Once he took a deep breath and cleared his throat, Roy dared to speak and found that his voice was level. “So...you're worried she's of the same opinion ten years later?”

Ed sank back into his chair with a defeated sigh, nodding glumly.

Roy laced his fingers together, striving with all his might to keep his voice neutral. “We are just talking about prom here. It's not like you're asking her to marry you. Again.”

With a groan, Ed covered his face in his hands. “I knew I shouldn't have said anything!”

“My point,” Roy persisted, “is that she might see things very differently now. You aren't the same as you used to be, and neither is she. The way I see it, you have two options: ask her, and risk her saying no. Or don't ask, and be okay with the knowledge that somebody else probably will.”

Slowly, Ed straightened up. Roy could practically see the gears whirring in his brain. His eyes blazed at the suggestion that someone might beat him to it, that some other boy would end up dancing with her through the night, maybe earning a kiss at the end....

Ed shot to his feet. “Okay,” he said firmly. “Okay. I'm asking her. I'm...I'm gonna do it!”

He marched out, barely even seeming to see Roy anymore. Roy just smirked fondly after him and put the forgotten chess pieces back into place. They could count this game as a draw.

A minute later, Ed thumped back into the room, looking sheepish. “Uh...I don't know how to ask her.”

“Sit down,” Roy said with a smile. “Let's brainstorm some options.”

[linagram]

[ 𝚢𝚊𝚗𝚘 𝚊𝚜𝚊𝚑𝚒'𝚜 𝚝𝟸 𝚟𝚘𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚍𝚛𝚊𝚖𝚊 ] 𝚞𝚗𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚍 𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚍'𝚜 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚟𝚒𝚟𝚊𝚕 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚗

ASAHI'S TRIAL.. this is a tough one, in my opinion. again, i feel like his vd shows him as someone who regrets his crime or at least feels bad about it, but his mv still shows him as not the most sympathetic person? but oh well, again, that's just my opinion.

Warnings for Asahi's VD: The first part of the VD is rather tame, except Asahi repeatedly makes fun of Eiji for liking maids (even though Eiji never even said anything about it) and he does so in his usual fashion, but the second part is more dark and Asahi tries to describe how his murder went and there's a mention of him having what sounds like a panic/anxiety attack.

Warnings for Asahi's MV: None, except there's a mention of a character throwing up, but it's not described in detail and the MV is kinda creepy in general (there are also mentions of bones, skulls and some other stuff).

(sounds of footsteps)

Eiji: .. It's his turn now. Are you ready?

Miki: *nods*

Miki: Y-yes, I think I am.

Miki: I promise, I will do anything to save him. I will prove that.. my brother is innocent.

Eiji: *sighs* Well, we'll see. 

Miki: But Eiji-san.. 

Miki: S-sorry for asking this again, but is your arm really okay?

Miki: I don't think it's broken, but judging by your face expression, it looks like it hurts a lot-

Eiji: .. How many times do I have to tell you that I'm fine?

(the door opens)

Asahi: Ah, Eiji-nii, Miki-nee! 

Asahi: Wow, it took you a while. I was starting to get bored..

Eiji: You're not even eating anything? You really have changed.

Eiji: And it's still so hard for me to get used to the way you talk now-

Asahi: Shut the fuck up and begin the interrogation.

Eiji: .. Yeah, that's better. For some reason, your new self is more creepy.

Miki: ...

Eiji: Guard 002, is everything okay?

Miki: Huh? Y-yes, yes, everything is fine.

Asahi: Miki-nee, this guy is not making you overwork yourself, right? Just say a word and I will-

Miki: No, no, please don't worry about me, Asa-

Miki: I-I mean, Yano-san.

Asahi: Eh, you can call me by my name, if you want. I like you, so..

Miki: ??

Miki: Y-you like me??

Asahi: You're always so nice to me, of course, I like you, dummy.

Eiji: Hey, does that mean that I can also call you by your name?

Asahi: Can you stop wasting my time and start asking me normal questions instead?

Eiji: Fine, fine.

Asahi: Actually, why are we doing all of this again?

Eiji: "Here we go.."

Asahi: Like, why did all of us receive those papers yesterday? 

Asahi: .. Hey, Miki-nee, does that mean it wasn't you and this guy who did it?

Miki: U-um..

Eiji: ...

Miki: .. N-no, no, Asahi-san, it wasn't us.

Asahi: Huh? Really? 

Asahi: But who else would it be? Like, isn't it the guards' job to interrogate us-

Asahi: .. Oh.

Asahi:*starts laughing*

Eiji: Hey! What's so funny about it?

Asahi: It's just.. 

Asahi: So, like.. If it wasn't you and Miki-nee, does that mean that a different guard did it?

Eiji: "T-this guy is smarter than I thought.."

Asahi: Hey, does that mean they're firing you, Eiji-nii?

Miki: F-firing him??

Eiji: WHY ME??

Eiji: U-uh, I just want to know why you thought that they will get rid of me, and not.. um..

Asahi: Because almost all prisoners were saved this time and it's all thanks to Miki-nee?

Asahi: Also Miki-nee is doing her job well and the innocent prisoners are living their best lives thanks to her.

Asahi: And you, Eiji-nii, almost killed a teenager in the process of "punishing" him.

Asahi: Your older brother is basically getting bullied by others and uhhh.. 

Asahi: What was that girl's name?

Asahi: Anyway, yeah, she's this close to killing everyone here, especially your older brother.

Eiji: I'm reminding you that I was the one who saved you when she tried to attack you.

Asahi: Well, maybe you shouldn't have made her do what she always hated doing as her punishment?

Eiji: .. What does that mean?

Asahi: *sighs* 

Asahi: I knew that you had nothing but air in that stupid head of yours, but do I really have to explain to you literally every single damn thing?

Asahi: Listen, we all know that she worked in, like, a maid cafe or something. I don't know much about that stuff, because I'm not a loser like Shun-nii, but those places feel like heaven to creeps.

Asahi: Hey, you look like a guy who's into stuff like that, actually.

Eiji: .. I'm not even gonna ask why you think so-

Asahi: Well, I'm gonna explain it to you anyway, 'cause you're that dumb. I bet you like it when a cute girl says something like "What can I do for you today, Master? <3", 'cause you're a fucking pervert.

Eiji: .. (to Miki) *whispers* W-why does he know so much about things like that?

Miki: (to Eiji) *whispers* Because of our father, I guess.

Asahi: What, are you asking her "Why does he know so much about me"?

Asahi: Miki-nee, I am so sorry. You don't deserve someone like him as your partner.

Asahi: At least you have me to protect you! 

Miki: .. You want to protect me?

Miki: ... *starts sobbing*

Eiji: Guard 002, this is not the best time for that.

Asahi: It's your fault for making her cry, by the way.

Eiji: HOW IS IT MY FAULT-

Eiji: .. I just realized that we were supposed to interrogate you.

Asahi: Yeah, you're definitely getting fired.

Miki: Um, Eiji-san, is it okay if I ask questions this time?

Eiji: .. Fine.

Asahi: Yay, I get to talk with Miki-nee more!

Miki: So.. Asahi-san, we watched your video and..

Asahi: ...

Asahi: .. Well, uh, what did you think about it?

Miki: I could tell that you have suffered a lot. And that you most likely had a reason to.. you know, do what you did.

Asahi: .. Hehe, at least you get it.

Asahi: I think my mom would like you a lot. Actually, I can ask her about it right now!

Asahi: Mom, what do you think about Miki-nee?

Asahi: .. She looks a lot like you, doesn't she?

Miki: .. But I still don't know what you did, Asahi-san.

Miki: Can you tell me how your crime went? Like, what exactly did you do to.. that woman?

Asahi: ...

Eiji: (to Miki) *whispers* He's never gonna tell you anything.

Asahi: I guess I can tell you about it.

Eiji: ...

Eiji: "It's like I'm her assistant now."

Miki: Please, don't push yourself if you aren't comfortable with it. We're going to watch another video anyway, so-

Asahi: No, I want you to know the truth. 

Asahi: If it wasn't for this guy over here, I would gladly tell you everything, but he's kinda ruining the moment.

Asahi: So, um..

Miki: You keep looking at that plushie, do you want to hug it while you talk about what you did?

Asahi:*nods*

Miki: Here you go. 

Asahi: Thanks. You're nice.

Miki: Hehe.. Okay, are you ready to talk now?

Asahi: So, uh.. 

Asahi: That woman was.. kinda weak.

Miki: Hm? In what way?

Miki: Do you mean she was weak as a person or-

Asahi: That too, but she had, like, lots of health problems.

Asahi: I think she couldn't have kids of her own because of that? I think she also had to quit her job too because of her illnesses or something.

Eiji: Great, and you don't even feel sorry for killing this poor woman?

Asahi: I would gladly kill her again if I was given the chance.

Asahi: And, uh.. I don't know anything about most of her illnesses, but..

Asahi: What I did know is that she couldn't eat certain foods. 

Miki: Is it because of her condition?

Asahi: Again, I don't know anything about most of the problems she had, but I knew that she was allergic to a lot of stuff.

Asahi: Like, deathly allergic.

Eiji: .. I think I know where this is going.

Miki: Me too and I don't like it..

Asahi: T-then, do I even have to explain everything else?

Miki: Yes, please continue, Asahi-san.

Asahi: B-but what's even the point?! You already know what happened next! You already know what I did!

Asahi: SO WHY DO I EVEN HAVE TO TELL YOU ANYTHING?!

Miki: Because I want to know why you did it!

Miki: Even if you made your adoptive mother eat something she was deathly allergic to, I need to know why you did it! Why did you even think it would be okay to do something like that? Why did you think that would be a good idea?

Asahi: SO NOW YOU'RE GOING TO VOTE ME GUILTY, AREN'T YOU?! 

Miki: I JUST WANT TO PROVE THAT YOU DESERVE TO BE FORGIVEN!

Asahi: ...

Asahi: *starts crying*

Eiji: Also, how could someone as young as you come up with all of this? I think she was smart enough and it would be hard to make her eat or drink something that obviously had something she was allergic to.

Miki: Asahi-san was able to guess that we aren't the only guards here. He's smart too.

Asahi: *cries louder* 

Asahi: I just.. I just.. 

Asahi: I-I just had to do it to her!

Eiji: What did that woman even do to you? She adopted you, she gave you everything you wanted, so why did you-

Asahi: I HAD TO CHOOSE BETWEEN MYSELF AND HER!

Asahi: I JUST DID WHAT I HAD TO DO TO SURVIVE!

(the bell rings, machinery sounds)

Asahi: *continues crying*

Asahi: Please.. Please, just let me go home..

Asahi: This is my only wish. I wanna go home, even if I don't have one anymore.

Miki: Asahi-san, please, calm down..

Asahi: I want to see Mom again.. I miss her so much..

Eiji: We have to extract his video. It's fine, he will calm down soon.

Miki: Eiji-san, I don't think it's just him being scared. 

Miki: Look at him. It's something more than that.

Asahi: W-why is my heart beating so fast?

Asahi: I.. I-I c-can't breathe-

Eiji:*sighs* What do you want to do then? We can't just stand here and wait until he goes back to normal.

Miki: ...

(sounds of footsteps)

Asahi: H-huh?

(sounds of Miki hugging Asahi)

Miki: It's okay. There's nothing you have to be scared of.

Miki: I really hope you will tell me why you did it one day, but for now.. I will trust you.

Asahi: ...

Eiji: Guard 002, I don't have time for this.

Miki: Please, wait, I think he has something to say! 

Eiji: Prisoner 007, Asahi, sing your sins!

Asahi: .. This hug feels familiar for some reason.

42% ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░░░░░░░░░░░ 100%

[ MV Description ]

His MV's main colors would be very similar to INMF: lots of white and very bright, basically neon green. 

The video starts with Asahi and his adoptive mother walking into a toy store. 

"Ah, right, this is what my new life looks like

Getting everything I want, no matter how expensive

When I ask you why you're so kind to me, you simply say

"'Cause you deserve it"

It looks like Asahi isn't in the best mood, but his mother still smiles at him and shows him a cute teddy bear, hoping that it will cheer him up. 

"Yeah, but here's the thing: I never get anything else from you

Gifts, food, clothes, all that is fine

But there's more ways to express your love, you know?"

He shakes his head, showing that he doesn't like it. She frowns, but tries to smile again and shows him a different stuffed animal. He doesn't like it either. All the stuffed animals that his mother is showing him have very simple and basic designs, so Asahi doesn't find them that interesting. 

"Oh well, I guess it's okay for me to act greedy then

I know I deserve more, I know I want more

Give me all the best things this world has to offer

'Cause I'm just that cute, okay?"

He decides to explore the place himself and he eventually finds much more unique and fun-looking toys and he grabs one of them and shows it to his mother. She smiles and agrees to buy it, but then Asahi gives her another one. She still smiles, but Asahi just takes it as a sign to get not one, but two more toys. The chorus starts playing and he eventually gets like ten more toys, but when his mother tries to say something, he just looks at her with those cute and innocent eyes of his, so she sighs and agrees to buy all of them. He smiles and hugs her and they go to buy all those toys. 

After that, they keep going to many different stores: the candy store, the clothes store, etc. It looks like Asahi really doesn't know when to stop and just keeps making his mother buy everything he wants. And his mother doesn't know how to say no to him, which is.. the worst combination ever. 

"Come on, come on, I know you want to make me happy

So please, just be more patient with me

I promise I'll act like a good boy from now on

Right after you buy me this brand new toy"

Interestingly, his mother notices that now Asahi doesn't really pay attention to how "good" or "pretty" something is and he's just taking everything that he can see, it doesn't matter if those things are broken, torn or rotten, he just brings them to his mother and asks her to buy them. His mother starts to get worried and for a good reason and she tries to stop him, but when she does that, Asahi just glares at her and.. well, he doesn't look so sane anymore. 

"Haven't you heard? I want literally everything

I won't stop until this world is completely empty

Devouring everything that I see, taking what doesn't belong to me

This is what my new life looks like"

His mother decides to just accept it after that, but right as they're about to buy everything, she sees Asahi stopping and looking at something. She turns around and sees that he's looking at the exact same teddy bear she wanted to buy for him when they came to that toy store, but if back then Asahi found it boring, now he really wants to buy it. Right as he's about to ask his mother to buy it for him, she can't take it anymore and she slaps his hand away so that he won't even think of touching the toy. The chorus  starts playing again, but now it sounds more sad.

"Give me more, you know that it'll never be enough for me

You want me to repay you? That's funny

Why should you give me so much and get nothing in return?

It's obvious, 'cause I deserve it"

Asahi looks at her with a shocked expression and this is the first time we see his mother actually looking angry. Looks like she really had enough. She refuses to buy the toy and she refuses to buy all of the other things for him and walks away, leaving him alone. 

"Now, why did you say that? It hurts so damn much

"You're my everything" Was that just a lie?

Get right back here, you know you can't live without me" 

Asahi has no idea what to do and he looks at the cashier and the other people in line. He freezes and everything around him becomes dark. 

He panics and covers his mouth with his hand and starts feeling sick. He can't take it and he falls on the floor and sees some bright green liquid on his hand. 

"I see now, I guess my greed has side effects

This is what happens when you take too much

This is what happens when you can't stop yourself"

Asahi's face becomes more pale and more neon green liquid keeps coming out of his mouth. As this is happening, all the things that he wanted to buy fall on him and we can see only his hand. 

Asahi tries to free himself and he can even see someone reaching out their hand to him, but right as he's about to take it, he sees that the figure is not his mother, but a man that looks suspiciously like his and Miki's father. As that's happening, the chorus plays for the third time, but it sounds like Asahi is both angry and terrified and he screams the last line. 

Everything becomes white again and now we can see Asahi casually, like nothing happened, standing at the checkout and getting all the things that he wanted. He just smiles and nods the whole time and he even gets the teddy bear that he wanted so bad and he leaves the store with several huge bags and they're full of things like spoiled food, torn clothes, broken toys and we can even see someone's skull and bones in there. Asahi just smiles and we can also see a drop of that neon green liquid from earlier under his mouth. The music stops and we can hear Asahi say "This is enough for today, I think~". The video ends. 

[sinkableruby]

7, 12, 21, 22

gaming time

7. A series you’ve lost interest in?

oh actually uhhh. minecraft i cant play it anymore its either i try to focus on the building and i run out of materials and i have to go into caves which are prettier now but they're still caves and each trip is a trek or it feels like a trek in my mind and its like actual chores but like not in a fun animal crossing way in a shitty real life way and you have to KEEP GOING BACK and no matter where i put my house i am never satisfied with it and even if i go creative mode and do nice builds that gets old pretty quickly and man i just cant deal with it anymore.

also terraria is better lol

12. Do you prefer ‘blank slate’ main characters you make yourself or otherwise project onto, or characters with a set personality and backstory?

stealing dis's answer it probably depends on what works for the game yeah. i love roleplaying a whole lot but i also love seeing other ppls characters. that being said, i wish there were more games that were open in some way to a roleplaying kind of thing. so if you want a straight answer, i'd go with that

21. A boss you think is really cool

oh theres plenty of these yeah i always love like hidden bosses that are really hard like sans, malenia, etc. the challenge is fun and its always cool to be overwhelmed with the difficulty like oh shit playtimes over monster hunter is cool bosses: the game, basically (sometimes annoying bosses but shhh we dont talk about those). odogaron and nergigante from world are my absolute favorites. the sheer Energy odogaron has when attacking you is insane. it's so fast and always just throwing things out, it feels like a dance when you're fighting. very cool and nergigante... nergigante has lots of presentation, but also its spikes are so fun to break, its rewarding. fighting that arch tempered solo was so cool. and of course you have the divebomb:

i love this so much, the person in this video is wearing upgraded armor and fighting a lower level nerg because that move WILL kill you instantly, like always. and the hitbox is HUGE it's ridiculously big. i mean you can see how big it is in that video (that person isn't dodging it right most of the time). but the spectacle of it is so cool too. it roars and spreads its wings like that and you KNOW something big's coming. and you feel that note of panic every time, even when youre used to the fight. its so fun. maybe this appreciation of the unforgiving is why i like malenia (and that bullshit move she does) and sans too lol also shoutout to ftl's final boss (i am so bad at that game) and etg's dragun. also also, shoutout to touhou (all of it). also shoutout to elden ring's elden guy (that is definitely not what its called) big elebit. elden... whatever. it looks so cool :) and the fight is really fun to try no-hitting more emotional wise shoutout to omori's final boss. no spoilers but that one is so powerful and very well executed. omori has great bosses like that that impact you. another one i really like, maybe even more, is the one where this music plays:

it just screams hurt and betrayal (and the fight does too!) and you can just Feel it. and the aftermath of that fight is heartbreaking

22: A boss that was disappointing

oh starbound is perfect for this one. the game is so nice with its cosmetic and customization, and me and my friends were really enjoying it, but the enemies and encounters and bosses in this game were just. not. good. because you could overlevel (idr if level was actually a part of that game, but there was like higher level equipment and stuff) but the bosses werent like matched to your level or anything they just stayed the same level. so you could easily overlevel without knowing it (you might even think ur preparing a reasonable amount, certainly felt that way to us) and when the whole world is filled with nothing but shit thats easy to kill and a boss that's pathetic its like. ah. time to customize a bit more and then the fun is done. kinda kills the hype yk. if it had better fights that game would genuinely be awesome

[lunaxstella]

Things I do to cope with my anxiety:

1. When I am put in a stressful situation, specifically when I become the center of attention, I try to find someone familiar and I feel safe with. I will, then, proceed to hold their hand or arms, or even their shirt, in order to ground myself and remind my buzzing brain that nothing is wrong.

2. If the aforementioned is not available, watch me go into a full on panic attack. Just kidding (not), you'll see me fidget a lot. My common fidget would be shaking my leg.

3. I try to remember everything that my psychiatrist, counselors, and psychologist told me to do to prevent panic attacks. One of the things I always hear them say is the breathing technique. The other would be the grounding thingy: find something you can touch, hear, see, taste, and I forgot what else. Basically, find things that will bring your mushy worried brain to earth.

4. After I first experienced having a panic attack while walking the streets because of eye contact with every being I passed, I stopped looking at people's faces, especially their eyes. Every time I walk through a crowded space (even those with a significant amount of people), I focus my vision on the background. That's why even if I know you, I won't really know you're there unless you make yourself known.

I actually loved looking at people's eyes because it tells stories. But, yeah, life.

5. I avoid crowds for obvious reasons. I already had several cases where I had a panic attack in the midst of chaos. Although, I started cruising crowded places again when I took antidepressants and all was good. I'm not sure if that will still be the case right now, since I stopped taking meds for almost a year now.

6. I am currently practicing this so-called nonchalant bull that's been circling around. It's stoicism with a modern touch. I also read articles about the sole idea of stoicism and detachment. Does it work? Sometimes, I guess? I'm an overthinker at birth. It's kind of hard to do.

In cases where I do go on a full on panic attack, I simply do my best to calm myself down. My body would be stiff, so you'll see me trying to massage my hands as hard as I could. You'll also see me crying because my brain is currently on hold to be logical and my body is slowly losing control due to stiffness. A school counselor once told me that one thing that could help stop a panic attack is distraction. It's what she said after I told her that I gradually calmed down after being annoyed with my sister because she took too long to respond when I was asking for help. (Not that it's entirely her fault. We were far away from each other, and I only messaged her because it was hard for me to voice anything out.)

It's a way to get you off your ongoing haywire of thoughts. So, every time someone calls me and they tell me that they're having a panic attack, I try to distract them with anything that I could think of.

Ah, I almost forgot. When I'm out in public, I use headphones. I play loud music in order to cancel out the noise around me. Sometimes, when I get overwhelmed with every little noise, I just put them on with no music played. The important thing is I feel like I'm in my own space. The only time I take them off is when I need to talk to someone or when I walk with someone else. It would be rude if I keep them on, no? More importantly, when I walk with friends or acquaintances, I usually don't need the headphones since my focus is entirely on them. My surroundings are blurry and I'm only attentive to the risks and hazards that may affect them. My friends look out for me because of this reason. I'm not aware of my own risks.

[blindrapture]

WEDNESDAY JULY 13TH, 2011 ("Operation: RIse Against Fear")

12:32 AM We’ve hit the Kentucky border. Great. Like I care.

12:40 AM Donnie’s trying to grab my hand. I’m trying to drive! >_> Gah. One-track mind.

12:44 AM ..sorry. .____.;; I didn’t mean to get like that. I.. I don’t know. I just don’t know.

12:56 AM I hate.. I hate something. Myself, probably. It’s who I always hate, after all. I am the sickness, and I’m down. ..ooh-wah-ah-ah-ah? God, that was cheesy. …heh. Like, wow. That was insanely cheesy. Even for me. Hahahahahahaha. Ha. What was I even mad about earlier? Ah, who cares.

1:49 AM Hitchhikers!

1:50 AM They kicked us out of the car and drove off.

2:29 AM I did not miss the slowness of walking. "It definitely sucks." We can’t even listen to music. And I've got an Alice in Chains craving! "We didn't have any Alice in Chains." Yeah, it was kind of burning in the back of my mind even still. It's "The Man in the Box," I want that song. It was in Rock Band 2. "That's a good song. That was in Rock Band?" I'm telling you, the best setlists in either the games or music industry were in those games. "I liked Guitar Hero 3." Yeah, see, you're missing out. There's a whole thing, I can prove algebraically that Rock Band was leagues above Guitar Hero. I mean, RB3 was seen as a weirder setlist, but I think it just needed more time to grow on people. The fact of the matter is, the RB trilogy is unrivaled. You'd be hard-pressed to find a single mediocre song. Case in point: “Pull Me Under” is Dream Theater’s only hit single in their, what, 26-year career, yet when Harmonix decided to give them a song in Rock Band 2, they instead chose “Panic Attack.” Neversoft played it safe in Guitar Hero 4 and chose the hit single, while Harmonix made sure to choose a song that would be downright impossible to play on all instruments. Harmonix knows what they’re doing. They don’t just choose the popular songs; they choose the songs that will be fun to play. Because every member of Harmonix is a musician in some way. Who better to craft a music game? And, y'know, Harmonix were the creators of Guitar Hero. They made the first two, then went off and made Rock Band as just.. a Bigger and Better kind of thing. Meanwhile, Guitar Hero gets Neversoft assigned to them, and look, I love Neversoft! I grew up with the Tony Hawk games! THUG and THAW were my childhood! But Neversoft are good at making skateboarding games. They're not musicians; they can't compete with Harmonix, and they'd never beat them at their own game. ...literally! ...I mean. Am I going on? "I like it." :) Ah, Harmonix! You and Valve were my all-time favourite video game developers.

2:38 AM I remember reading an article, an interview with a couple Valve employees. They talked about the way Valve works. And it was like first fuckin’ contact with an alien species! They said that there are essentially no higher-ups in that company, no set agendas, no status quo, no conventional business structure at all. The way they decide what game they’re gonna make next? Someone experiments and makes a little demo— entirely by themselves or with whoever else wants to help— and tries to get more and more people to help him make it. That is it. Can you believe it? o_o "o_o" So the only reason Half-Life 2: Episode Three never came out was because nobody actually got around to finishing it. ..I’m sure there were more complicated reasons than that; I respect Valve more than that.

5:35 AM Decided to stop at the nearest hotel. We’ve been walking for so goddamn long, though we’ve been trying to make it easier by talking about just about anything we could think of. Video games, movies, even resorted to talking about porn at one point. (There were opinions to be had...) Map says we’re about halfway through Kentucky now. We’re making great progress! But then again, we just lost our car, so.. this next leg might be a lot slower than before. And plus we’ve still got to pass through Missouri before we reach Nebraska, let alone even California... ugh. Anyway, Donnie and I are talking about our plans for this journey. We know, maybe even more than trying to get to any physical destination, we’re gonna have to figure out how to find the Cipher. Me, I’m kinda hoping we’ll run into EAT again. She has her suspicions about that thing. “It’s a Fear. It’s no different from the Harlequin. It’s planning something. When we get past a Fear unscathed, we're not safe, our backs are turned. And that one knows a lot about us.” I.. don’t know what to say to that! She could very easily be right. But in the end, I told her the fact that EAT knows so much about us is also what makes it our best bet at the moment. It’s a being of knowledge; we’re X factors. It’s not gonna attack us unless we prove ourselves to be a threat. Besides. The Ciphers seem to be the answer. We scared Archie and the Musicians last time, didn’t we? ..right?

1:11 PM Awake now. Nice sleep. Dreamed of sweet foods. ..wow, Donnie looks great today. .w.; Well. Time to resume our long walk. ^^;;

1:13 PM Wait a minute. We just entered a rabbit hole, didn’t we? I mean, we’re kinda now in Rachael Land.

1:20 PM Oh, now all the Rachaels are crowding around me. I’m making sure Donnie stays close. ..oh, now they.. left. o_o

1:24 PM Donnie says they’re all glaring at her. ..I don’t see them doing that.

1:30 PM I asked a Rachael where I might find the exit to this rabbit hole. She asked which exit I wanted. I said I wanted to go to Nebraska, specifically, but anywhere close is good. Then she looked at Donnie and said she’s not helping us. So now we’re on our own. Now, I admit, I can see them glaring. Tiger Stripes is at the ready.

1:37 PM Some Rachaels are coming our way. Some are cracking their knuckles. I am so ready fo oh Donnie says she’s got this.

1:38 PM holy shit. o_o She really does got this.

1:40 PM She fucking wiped the floor. Owo;; Oh shit, look out, second wave! She threw her frying pan on the ground and pulled out the empty rifle. She's swinging it like a baseball bat.

1:44 PM That one’s got a gun. Donnie’s got her hands full. I’m not just gonna stand here.

1:45 PM HELLO MEET X-PLORER Got her hand, dropped the gun. Good. Now the Rachaels are coming for me too. Tiger Stripes, we’re gonna have to strike harder than we really want to.

1:48 PM RACHAELS WITH SHOTGUNS FUCKING REALLY? "Hold onto your hat, let's go!" yes, ma'am!!!

1:49 PM DOWN THIS ALLEYWAY

1:50 PM MOVE IT BLUES BROTHERS …WAIT

1:85 PM A voice speaks to me: "Do you want to see?" Repression, obsession, lay your character bare. You make a good pair.

4:44 PM Ugh. Where the hell are we now. It’s a house. …OH hello dead person on the floor. I’ve gotten pretty used to this by now. Where’s Donnie there she is hi. Okay. Next step is to figure out where we are.

4:48 PM This seems to be a town. Not sure how big it is yet. SCREAM what What’s happening.

4:49 PM ..a lady ran out of the house and called us monsters. o_o Now she’s chasing us!

4:58 PM Crowd of people, hoping they’re people and not zombies!

4:59 PM Yep, people. The crowd’s shutting up, the lady stopped chasing us. A man’s coming up to find out what the hubbub is.

5:00 PM The lady called us monsters, and we said we weren’t. The crowd’s pretty sure we’re not monsters. The lady said we killed the mayor. We said we didn’t; we just arrived via rabbit hole. The crowd believes us. Now the dude’s gonna speak to us in private.

5:40 PM He told us what was going on. Apparently, we found a sanctuary under armed protection. Apparently, we’re in East Saint Louis, Illinois. Just a little further west is the state of Missouri, actually. Apparently, the organization protecting this town calls themselves “Operation: Rise Against Fear.” It's a reference to the international organization, but word is flaky on if they're actually related. And apparently, the organization’s logo is a faceless suited man flipping off the slender man. Are you starting to get the picture, journal? Okay, last clue: A good portion of the people in this town keep a Guy Fawkes mask with them. These guys are Anonymous. ..well, I mean, to be exact, they were formed by various members of Anonymous. That was kind of a big project, after all. But this was one of their branches. They must be at least competent at defending people?

5:45 PM The guy I’ve been speaking to tells me a black dog’s been spotted. Well, he said the black dog. Because apparently the Black Dog is a Fear. It’s said to be a deathly omen.

7:21 PM Donnie and I have decided we’re not gonna leave these guys on their own. We’re spending the night with these guys. We support their cause. Besides, it’s about time we stood up to the Fears.

8:19 PM Dinner time, hell yes.

8:22 PM Good god. The whole town has gathered into this hall just to receive some food. These guys look skinnier than I expected.

8:30 PM I was just asked why I’ve got so much meat on my bones. …I don’t. o_o I'm kinda unhealthily thin?

8:41 PM This man wants Donnie to go with him. I asked if I can go along. Donnie assured me she’ll be fine. ..well, okay. ._.;;

9:05 PM Donnie’s back. She says the man told her we look like Fears; people don’t trust us. Apparently, it’s because we look too young, too normal. Everyone around here’s pretty much either starving or dying of some disease, and here we are, two relatively not-bad-looking kids with absurd clothing and strange weapons just waltzing on in via rabbit hole! So he gave her two Guy Fawkes masks to disguise ourselves. And then he tried to make some advances on her. She says she took good care of that problem, though; Donnie can really take care of herself. ..she winced a little after saying it. ._.

9:39 PM The people around here are offering us a place to stay. Well. I mean. I guess sleeping would be nice!

11:00 PM Knock knock. I’ll get it.

11:01 PM Oh, it’s an Anon. See, Guy Fawkes mask. It’s the mark of the culture. :3 ..o____o SHUTTHEDOOR WHATTHEFUCK WHATTHEFUCK WHATTHEFUCK THATWASN’TANANON OHMYGOD OHMYGOD WHATTHEFUCK That guy’s mask wasn’t a mask, it was his face. o__e Its mouth moved, its eyes blunk, it breathed. whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck

11:05 PM Donnie took a peek outside. There’s no one out there now. Ohhhhh, I have a bad feeling about this.

11:08 PM Guy Fawkes masks? In the trash.

11:11 PM I WISH SHIT WOULD GO WELL FOR US. I wish shit would go so well for us. ohgod

11:13 PM At the heavy advisement of my cohort, I’m.. I’m going to try to get some sleep.

11:20 PM We’re talking about methods of relaxation and stopping panic. Donnie knows a lot about it. ..hugging her.

11:35 PM ..are you sure you’re okay, ma’am? After all the excitement and after that guy.. “I’m fine.” You’re shaking. “I don't want to talk about it.” Well… you don't have to. But I want to say something. Donnie, you've been an angel to me, placing your trust in me and working to keep me up and going. Ever since we met, you've been an unexpected friend, flawless and selfless. And I need to do the same for you. I need to back you up. I need to listen to you. And I need to make sure you know that we're in this together. I've got your back. …"Thanks." We're not in a safe place here, I don't think. We're getting back on the road tomorrow. "Yeah. That's a good idea." ...I'm going to hug you now, if that's alright. "Please do."

(Attached: “As an aside: The narrative of the world, as it were, doesn’t quite match the flow of Jordan’s journals. When he and Donnie were trapped in Blackpool, a team of scientists in South America had the idea to sail to Antarctica and hold a global convention with lead scientists from the rest of the world. Contrary to what one might expect, that actually worked. In fact, the plan may have been communicated a little bit too well. When the day of the convention came– I believe the date was June 30th, not that it’s important– the hall was well beyond capacity. One headcount later, and they realized they were trapped on a frozen continent with Camper. Jump forward to this date, that of July 13th, and the narrative of the world had hit a sort of rock bottom. China had completely abandoned its west half, electing to migrate east for reasons I’m actually not all that sure about. I think it was a nasty case of Eldritch Bear. Either that or the abundant fertile soil in the east. Yeah, maybe it was that one. South Africa, however, may have been the only country not totally lost of hope. Their local sect of Rise Against Fear-ites were quite successful in recruiting members, and as much as the Fears like to boast about their ‘eldritch’ this and 'incomprehensible’ that, they don’t really fare well when against literal armies of gunfire and all-terrain vehicles. But yeah, generally people were fucked. See, for another example, Sweden. What’s that? You can’t see it? Not anymore.”)

[PREV LOG] [TABLE OF CONTENTS] [NEXT LOG]

[sunset-peril]

Ashes Remain - Chapter Seventeen - Ladders and Stepladders

~~~~

The first thing she recognized were the dogs. She couldn't see them, but she knew they were there. 

She saw their torn ears in her mind's eye, bloodstained teeth and patchy fur. She heard the pants, snorted out of flared nostrils. 

They always came for her, for what is a champion but a throne to overthrow?

A year's time would save her from much, but it refused to silence them. There is always a limit to generosity. 

A moment’s weakness toils the bell.

For whom does the bell toil?

It toils for she.

There’s a reason no one cries “Long live the queen!”

The next thing she realized was the gurney, then the needle in her shoulder. 

Until now, she’d never been able to smell herself, much less taste her raw terror as she tried to break loose of the straps, to rip the lethal thing from her body before it was much too late. 

“Venus, stop that!” A dog with missing ears, she knew clearly where they’d gone, snapped from above her body. “Stop that, Venus!”

“No!” She stilled in terror when her voice slurred in such a manner. Was it already done?

“Stop it, Venus! You’re going to hurt yourself!”

“No! I refuse to let you kill me!”

“Venus!” The creature lunged at her neck; light and shapes flooded back to her. 

There was a lady standing over her, calling with the canine’s voice. “It’s okay, Venus. You’re in Los Kyoto. You really did a number on yourself, you know that?”

Terror still raged through her, and she clung to her neck.

“You’re going to choke yourself. Let go, I won’t hurt you, you’re safe. My name is Naia, Chief Prosecutor Edgeworth sent me.” A prosecutor’s badge dangled from her neckline. 

Mr. Edgeworth, she remembered him. His name was Miles, it was so un-European. He smelled of ramen and black tea and was nothing but gentle to her. 

He and the boss bickered heavily, and while Apollo bore respect, he was still obviously bothered by his presence. She felt more fear towards her boss than she did towards Mr. Edgeworth. He specifically told her to call him Mr. Edgeworth, so she did. 

“Ah, you remember him, don’t you?”

She remembered Mr. Edgeworth.

“You had a panic attack and passed out, he was getting a bit worried.”

She remembered now. She’d gone to Courtroom Number Four in search of Apollo, and found his unconscious body on the ground, bleeding.

And it wasn’t just him she saw, four others echoed in the ruins’ shadows and the smell of blood clawed at her throat. 

That’s when the dogs came, howling. That’s when everything went dark. 

“Mr. Justice will be okay, Venus. You’ll both just have to rest here and recover.”

Apollo was here.

She ducked her head away. “My name’s not Venus.”

“Of course not, Athena. Now you just relax. Your painkillers should start working soon, if you’re still in a lot of pain.” 

“Are they gonna mute them?”

“Your hearing aids? I’m not sure. If they do, I’m sure they’ll have a good reason. No one will hurt you like that again, you’re free.”

“It will be a long time before I can say I’ll believe you.”

~~~~

December 18th, 2027

1:05pm

General Hospital - Suite 247

~~~~

Apollo was sure it was a dream. He was sure that the prosecutor wasn't really there. He was sure she didn’t really call Athena by another name for an entire conversation. He was sure she didn’t respond by the other name until he was mentioned. 

He was sure it was a dream. A stress dream, distorted further by the pain. 

He was sure she was Athena Cykes. 

And he’d rather die than lose his faith. 

But then Fulbright came. He’d heard the voices outside and the seed of doubt within him began to sprout. “Ah, Prosecutor Graves! I’d heard much about you from Prosecutor Blackquill. Astounding to finally meet someone so concerned with the fight for justice as I!”

“Cut to it, Detective Fulbright. Some of us have actual work to do, instead of playing tea time with convicted killers.” 

“I beg your pardon! Here I am, looking to your advice in awe, and you chide me for attempting to reform those in our prison system!”

“There is no ‘reforming’ the man. He is to die.Your efforts will be nothing but in vain.” 

“This is getting beside the point, Prosecutor Graves! I’m here investigating Venus Blackquill!”

…What? 

“You are a fool, much like Blackquill has always said. That is not her name!”

He knew it. He knew it was all a dream.

“It is Gyax. Venus Gyax. There is no Athena Cykes.” 

No. 

It couldn’t be.

“I beg your pardon, Prosecutor? There is too such a person!”

“Not in a long time. Perhaps you didn’t read your charge’s file, Fulbright, for Athena Cykes died long ago. Skye filed the death certificate yesterday.”

He couldn’t believe it, but he had to. 

If evidence is everything, then the woman he loved was a fraud.

“That certificate was only just received! Even the hospital staff has no idea why it exists, for she is clearly alive.”

“I will say this one more time, Fool Bright. That certificate was signed in the presence of the court. Athena. Cykes. Is. Dead. Visit her grave if you’re so blatantly inclined.”

“I can see now why the chief put you with Prosecutor Blackquill. So very willing to get in the way of justice. No wonder they call you the Scapegoat Prosecutor.”

He saw his lover stumble from her bed, storm over to the door with her IV stand and slam it against the door. “Shut up!” Her Chords of Steel threatened his own. 

“Look what you’ve done. She’s awake.” The door cracked open. There was the lady he’d dreamed about. “Athena,” How dare she continue to call Athena that, when it was all such a lie? “Go back to bed. You need to rest.”

He couldn’t take it any longer. He needed answers before she could slip back through his hands. “Not until I get answers.” He was too busy to stand, but Justice was still going strong. “I have evidence to suggest you haven’t been straight with me, Athena. Or should I say, Venus?” 

Athena’s eyes flooded white. Muscles in her throat rippled the odd scar circling the shallowest part of the jugular. Low rumbles stirred from the remnants of her light voice.

He was ever so glad he hadn’t heard that sound in bed. “Don’t incriminate yourself.”

The white in her eyes vanished as she looked back, pupils shrinking as she pulled backwards. 

“If you can’t be straight to me about something as simple as your name, Venus Gyax, then what else have you been lying about? Your convenient disappearance? The knife in Clay’s chest? Spill it, Gyax!”

“That’s not my name!” She couldn’t look him in the eye, his bracelet threatened to amputate his hand. “Apollo, it’s me, Athena! Your painkillers are playing with your mind, they did the same thing to me!”

“If you were Athena, then why did this hospital find a death certificate?! Why have a detective and a prosecutor identified you otherwise?!” 

“I’m Athena Cykes. I’m your co-council, your partner in crime fighting. I-I love you, Apollo Justice!”

“How can you prove you’re her? How, even if you are, can you prove you were ever worthy of the love I had for Athena?” 

“Because I am Athena!”

“You were never Athena! This prosecutor proves you were never who you said you were! I can’t believe I ever trusted you for a second, you European reject!” 

“Apollo Justice! You will quit harassing your partner!”

“My partner is Athena Cykes! Not this fraud of a woman!” 

Widget fell black and she crumpled to the floor. “I’m Athena, I’m Athena!” She continued to plead even after she’d hit the ground. Graves pounded the nurse call button and helped the incapacitated redhead to bed. He felt everything swirling inside him. He wanted to believe her, to hold her tight.

The nurses came and muted her ears. Athena Cykes, Venus Gyax, whoever this woman was, was now out of his reach.

He’d dumped all the doubts in his brain, but no clarity or comfort came. He felt utterly betrayed on both his behalf and hers. He couldn’t argue, he loved this woman, and was her legal guardian. Those feelings and ties, however, were formed with Athena Cykes. He wanted to believe in her, to feel her play with his hair as she chided him for risking his life to save her friend. 

Her friend that was now safe and sound, not guilty of a terrible act. 

Her friend who had also been betrayed, believing this woman was her dead childhood friend. For Juniper’s sake, he wanted to declare this woman had been and always will be Athena Cykes. For his own heart, consumed by the loss of two families and an only friend, he needed who she said she was.

However, evidence never lies. 

[admiringlove]

hurtful things

+synopsis: genshin boys and the hurtful things they said.

+genre: angst; headcanons.

+characters: kaeya; diluc; childe; zhongli.

+warnings: swearing; crying; implied panic attack.

+order: hey bubs! i saw you doing requests and i HAD to ask for genshin angst :) spare me some tears pls <//3 preferably w kaeya or diluc or childe :) [submitted by @crackheadsara​]

+author’s note: okay so i included zhongli bc he’s the love of my life, also i needed comfort from him after writing such hurtful things :D

+navigation: main menu, genshin menu.

— KAEYA.

“i’m better off without you.”

you know from the way your door was knocked in the middle of the night on a weekday after months, that it’s kaeya. you rub your eyes sleepily, trudging towards the door as anger and doubt fuse into a nasty green in your mind. 

you unlock the door, pulling it open to see the man with the eyepatch tapping his foot on the deck of your home impatiently. he smirks when his eye lands on you, attempting to walk in but stopping himself when he realizes you're standing at the door, unmoving. 

"kaeya, it's three in the morning. and it's monday. i have to report to jean in three hours," you mumble tiredly as you look up at him. the lamp grass by your windowsill outside and the moonlit night accentuated his cerulean eyes and contrasting coffee-colored skin. he frowns, peering down at you as he asks, "may i come in?"

you shrug, opening the door wide as you let the man in. he places his sword on the table and proceeds to walk into the bedroom when you ask, "where have you been for the past two weeks?"

"work," his reply is the same. you let out a sigh in impatience as you retort, "that's the same excuse as always."

he was tired and wanted to sleep off the fatigue from his latest mission. but when he hears you say that, something in him snaps and he turns around, his jaw clenched and a fixed glare making you a little agitated. he raises an eyebrow as he says, "well, unlike you, i am an actual important member of the knights of favonius."

"kaeya, all i meant was that you're always gone. you never write a letter back even if i send you one, and you somehow manage to come back every single time, expecting that it doesn't hurt me. what am i supposed to do?" your voice is small as you look down, hair drooping towards the ground. you're not even yelling at him, you're just worried. he always leaves you alone(sometimes you tag along, but you couldn't tell why nowadays he'd leave you alone without some sort of warning).

"does it ever occur to you that you're just a hindrance?" he bites back, thinking that you're trying to put up a front. you flinch at his words, causing him to force a jeer before he starts again, "you always come along, so maybe i wanted to be away from you for a bit. that's why i leave without a warning so i don't have to tend to your yapping all day. because i'm better off without you."

you gasp as you look up to his figure, now retreating to your shared bedroom. you hear him fall onto the bed with a content sigh as you stand there, wiping at your tears incessantly as hiccups escape your lips. you bit your tongue to stop yourself from crying, pressing a hand on your mouth to muffle the sounds so you don't disturb kaeya. you get a quick peek in, eyes widening when you see him sound asleep and tucked in. 

so that's how it was, you think. 

the next morning, kaeya wakes up to a cold bed as his arm reaches out to an empty space. his eyes immediately pry open as he wakes up, to see that you weren't here. 

ah, he ponders to himself, you must've gone to tend to your duties. 

he stretches, letting out a yawn before walking out to the kitchen. he smiles when he sees a plate of food left for him on the countertop with a note from you. but somehow, something felt very wrong about this whole ordeal. this had happened before—he had come back from insanely long missions to you before, so what felt different?

and then it hits him. the things he said last night. he frantically looks around, his azure eyes completely drowned in horror as he notices small changes in your shared household. a few picture frames are missing on the living room walls, your keychain isn't on the bookshelf anymore, and worst of all, when he runs into the closet, half of your clothes are gone. 

did you really feel that bad about what he said?

in panic, he runs out and keeps going till he reaches the headquarters of the knights. he barges in this time, not returning the greetings of the guards upfront as he walks into jean's office. 

"where are they?" he pants, "i-i messed up, do you know where they are?"

jean's eyes widen as she says, "our associates were having a hard time handling with the fatui in liyue harbor so they volunteered to go there for sometime."

"how long has it been?"

"they left long ago, it's about to be around ten hours since," she says. kaeya's heart shatters as he hears those words. he hadn't expected you to outright leave like that, but if you had said the same things to him, he definitely would've stormed out. his voice cracks as he looks at the ground in shame, "h-how long until they'll be back?"

"i.. don't know."

he regrets everything he's said. he truly does because he doesn't even notice that tears are streaming down his cheeks until jean comes to his aid. he hates himself for all of it—he hates that he has to live in a home where traces of you are visible everywhere; worst of all, he hates how he knows he lost you for good. even if you come back, he knows you wouldn’t run and melt into his arms like you did before. you’re gone now, fading into the darkness and away from him. 

maybe it was for the best.

— DILUC.

“you’re nothing but a burden.”

after taking on a few abyss mages and mitachurls, diluc lets a grunt out in pain before you see the slash on his right arm. you gasp, pulling him to the side of the lake as you pull out a bandage and cotton from your bag to clean his wounds. he's reluctant to it at first, but he sits there quietly and broods as you clean the blood with cotton and some type of healing ointment. 

you tie the bandage on his arm, a tiny bit of vermillion liquid seeping through the white cloth before sitting down next to him, finally catching a breath. sighing, you look up at him and say, "that was reckless."

"no, what you did was reckless. who told you to come along with me to dadaupa gorge? you knew what you were getting into when you came along, so don't put this on me," he grumbled, frowning as you look at him with narrowed eyes and furrowed brows. you are sort of hurt, but you know he's only saying this in faux indignation, so it's okay. you chuckle out, beginning, "diluc, i was-"

"i don't know why i even bother with you at this point," he exasperates, looking into the distance behind you. he curses slightly under his breath, his rouge eyes filled to the brim with anger as it finally overflows, "you're nothing but a burden."

your eyes suddenly flick to gape at him in disbelief. you stand up, your voice hitching in your throat as you ask, "diluc, you mean that?"

and it all simmers down into ashes when he mumbles "of course i do" under his breath. your vision is blurry as you walk away from the red-haired man, your body trembling as you almost give away that you're crying your eyes out. you walk back in the direction the two of you came from, leaving your broken heart in the hands of diluc, who sat by the lake not muttering a word after. 

he knows he's said things he doesn't mean; he does that all the time, but you probably knew that. he figures you're leaving to catch a breath of fresh air—to be away from the tension-filled environment for a bit, you had a habit of doing that at home. he sighs as he ponders over his words for a bit. he knew it was wrong to display such harshness to you, but you probably knew he didn't mean anything by it. he always bubbled over rash things when he was frustrated. 

the sun sets in front of him, painting hues of aubergine and peach as it flows down. he wonders where you are, getting up from his spot by the lake to venture towards the path you walked off. 

only when he can't find you, is when he thinks that you might've actually taken offense to his words. although he cares about you sincerely, he finishes his mission first, getting a lead on the abyss order—because protecting monstadt was his first priority. you lingered in his mind every second of every day till he finally got back home. and when he didn't find you there, he asks adelinde about it, who only shakes her head and tells him, "i'm sorry, master diluc, but i haven't seen them come back. i thought they were with you."

it all pieces together in his mind now, how a small gasp had escaped your lips when he had called you a burden. the way you nodded begrudgingly, getting up and walking away from his presence as your shoulders trembled. the way he could hear you choke back a sob, but still ignored it, thinking you had overreacted in the situation. 

he searches the whole city for you. he searches every nook and corner, and even walks into the headquarters of the knights of favonius(he ignores kaeya's teases instead of biting back this time). and when he finally sees you, he holds himself back. his hand is suspended awkwardly in the air as he reaches out for you, your back turned towards him. 

maybe this was better—maybe it was a good thing that you had walked away from him. this way, the abyss order won't be able to harm you. this way, he won't be able to harm you. this way, you'll be safe and sound, away from the storm known as diluc ragnvindr.

— CHILDE.

“it’s not like you mean anything to me.”

it's not often you see childe. he's always in liyue, and you're here, stuck in monstadt or snezhnaya. it's cold today(as it always is) in snezhnaya, the snow covered almost everything outside as you looked out of your window, sipping on hot coffee as you sigh at the wilting roses on the sill. they'd wilted when you had gone to monstadt and you didn't have the heart to plant new ones.

just thinking about the blue-eyed childish man would make your heart bloom and cheeks flustered. you longed to spend more time with him, really. if only he wasn't affiliated with the fatui, he'd be able to spend more time with you. it had been months since you had seen him, and you longed to be in his arms once again, but who knows when that'll happen again? whenever he comes home, he chooses to spend a night with you and then head back. he'd laugh alongside you, tell you about his adventures, and give small reactions when you told him about yours. and the next morning, you'd wake up to an empty bed with a small note by the table, saying how he has to leave for work.  

a knock at your door snaps you out of your entranced state. as you open the lock and look out, you see childe, standing there with a tired grin and disheveled hair as he walks in without a word. he hands you a small paper bag, saying, "i brought you back something from liyue this time."

the same excuse, you think. it's always the same. he brings back small mementos and souvenirs as a pretense for staying, and by the time you think you can forgive him, he's gone. he plops down onto the sofa, stretching his arm out so you could join him. the thought of confronting him crosses your mind, but you shake it off—since he had only just gotten back. 

the night is the same as always. talking about each others' adventures, eating dinner by the fireplace, laughing alongside one another until you hit the bed. it's quiet now as you watch over his sleeping figure, his lapis-colored eyes now hidden. you sigh as you lay there for hours on end, twiddling with his brown hair as you wait for him to wake up(so this time you can actually say goodbye). 

when his eyes flutter open, he's a little taken aback when he looks over at you to see you wide awake. his brows furrow just a smidge as he says, "you're up."

"well, i wanted to say goodbye this time," you chuckle dryly, "you always leave without waking me up."

"i don't like the way you said that," he says, getting up from his position on the bed. you look away from him, your eyes displaying hurt as you murmur, "i don't like the way you leave."

"well, it's my job. it's not like i'm an adventurer like you, wasting my time around. i'm a harbinger and i have responsibilities," he says. his voice is neither too soft and nor too prickly, and you can tell that he's a little worked up by the way he lightly nips on the skin of his bottom lip as his gaze bores into you. 

"i didn't say you don't. all i said was that you could maybe sometimes stay for more than one night. it feels like you're using me, and when you're bored, you leave."

"oh?" he cocks an eyebrow as he stands up, "i'm using you, huh?"

you grimace at the tone of his voice, and when you look at him, you notice the sheer annoyance he puts up towards you. your voice is small when you ask him if he loves you—because you don't know anymore. seeing him once in a few months for the past few years has sure hurt you more than anything, and if you don't tell him now, then you might never get a chance. 

"what if i say i don't?" he smirks, walking up to you, "it's not like you mean anything to me. what if i agree that i am using you to make myself happy until i'm bored, so i can then throw you away?"

he doesn't like what he's saying either. his mind is screaming at him to stop, but he's worked up. he's irritated by the way you jabbed at him first thing in the morning, even though he knows you're right. his heart almost stops when he looks at the expression on your face after he says those words, and as he reaches out his hand for you, you turn away. 

your voice cracks, and he's sure his heart did as well when you mumble, "i-i'd like you to leave, please."

"wait, i didn't mean-"

"tartaglia," your eyes look into his, perhaps for the last time, as you give him a sad smile, "you don't have to come back to me anymore."

it hurts him as he leaves your home that morning. it hurts him when he comes back months later to see that your home is now empty. it hurts him because he tarnished the you that was once his. 

it hurts him, but he thinks it's for the best if you stay away from him if all he does is bring you pain.

— ZHONGLI.

“i’d like you to leave me alone.”

zhongli was never one to pick fights. he was peaceful; his thoughts were positive(most of the time), and he almost always preferred to talk about his problem rather than fighting about it—he believes that fighting will only bring pain, so why not confide in one another about our problems instead?

he's quiet. he's not shy(it's quite the opposite, actually), but he's one to prefer to only talk when absolutely necessary. he's the type to listen rather than speak, saying something like, "we have two ears and one mouth. speak less than you listen."

he smiles when his mind goes back to the time when he said that to you while having a cup of tea together, and you'd replied, "my mother used to tell me that when i was a child."

because it's true; every child in liyue harbor has heard those words at least once in their lives. the quality of listening is appreciated more than the quality of speaking—and zhongli, for one, was a listener. 

you, on the other hand, were a speaker. you always woke him up every morning with a smile as bright and everlasting as the sun, babbling about breakfast and tea as he got up from the bed. you were the one that carried conversations on your shoulders on morning walks, you were the one that intertwined your fingers with his as the two of you walked amongst flowers, adoring them as you talked about the contrasting colors of silk flowers and glaze lilies. he loved you for that. he loved you because you were a speaker. he loved you because you were a perfect balance, the only one who could soften his hardened heart. the only one whom he'd chosen to wake up next to in the mornings, the only one whom he'd let ruffle his hair without asking(because he secretly liked it). 

so why had he reversed the roles tonight? why was he the one to bubble out his frustrations to you, speaking in a cold and stern manner instead of the loving tone that was only reserved for you? why was he the one to speak tonight, and why were you the one to listen?

it's not like he was actually frustrated—he was only thinking about something else as you asked him what he wanted for dinner. it surely wasn't your fault when he had poured over turbulent words to you. and he knows that the ones that hurt the most probably were, "i'd like you to leave me alone."

he looks up at the stars, a heavy sigh escaping his lips as he walks back into his shared home with you. he looks around, and when there's no sign of you, he feels himself break apart even more. 

had you actually left? he wants to run to you and tell you he hadn't meant any of those words because he hadn't. he wants to touch you, to caress you, to please you, to make you smile—and he wants to admit he was wrong. he wants to make it right, but he doesn't know where you are. 

he walks into the empty bedroom, sitting on the cold mattress as his eyes sting. he doesn't understand what's happening, or why there are small drops of water falling from his eyes. he doesn't understand why everything feels heavy all of a sudden—his heart, his throat his lungs, everything. he doesn't understand why he feels like he's trapped in a box, and the water seems to be filling up more quickly than he'd prefer. he wants to reach for air, but he can't.

he couldn't breathe without you. 

he hears the door close and immediately gets up in haste to walk to the living room where he sees you take off your boots. you turn around to see him, his disheveled hair and frantic eyes finally calming as he walks over to you and engulfs you in a warm embrace. his throat cleared up, and so did his heart and lungs as he mumbles against your ear, "i'm so sorry."

you smile smally, looking up at him as you cup his cheeks and wipe a stray tear, and mutter, "it's okay, zhongli. stress gets to the best of us."

god, how he loves you. he places a small peck on the top of your forehead as he feels his lips turn upward at your touch and the scent of glaze lilies lingering over you tells him that you'd been to the flower garden. he sleeps with your fingers weaved with his that night and pulls you even closer if you untangle with him in sleep. 

he makes a promise to himself saying he'd never hurt you like that again, and he keeps it.

© all works belong to admiringlove on tumblr. plagiarism is strictly prohibited.

[xxxsoukokuxxx]

BSD Poe x short(4”11) female reader

Soulmate au

Fluff oneshot

Reader has the ability to turn into a black cat.

Black Cat in the Rue Morgue

Soulmate AU

Character: Poe x short fem!reader

Warnings: None

Notes: Thanks for requesting and for your patience. I haven't written a soulmate AU before so I actually did some research on it and hopefully it pays off. I hope that this is what you wanted and have a pleasant day/night!

The sun was now setting and dipped itself into Yokohama's waters letting it's light drip onto the water's surface. Book in hand, raccoon on his shoulders with a pen in the other hand Poe is lost in his thoughts. The outside world doesn't exist. There is nothing but the various ideas for his novel running through his head and softness of fur against the back of his neck and head.

He jots down a few things that he could elaborate on later. The room is dyed in the color of honey and wine as the fading warmth of the sunset creates a sense of comfort. The side of his face illuminated by the gentle golden color.

Karl suddenly jumps off his shoulders and Poe's startled. His eyes wide, 'How long has it been?' he takes in his surroundings and realizes it's already sunset and soon night will fall upon Yokohama.

Poe gets up, closes his book and stretches with a sickening cracking sound erupting from his back, indeed how long has it been? He looks down to where Karl is sitting on the floor and he reaches to ruffle the fur on his head before leaving the room.

He makes a cup of tea for himself once he's in the kitchen and stares out the window. The sleeve of his shirt slides up a bit as Poe tilts his cup to take a sip, a small scarlet mark of a feline like figure on the underside of his wrist becomes visible. It's always been there but he brushed it off, that was until he came across various articles, theories and fiction books about "soulmates". And he can't help but wonder 'Is there really someone out there who'd love me? Do I have a soulmate? Or is it just a meaningless mark?'

Sometimes he'd think it's preposterous while other times he'd genuinely love that idea. But he always blushes straight after, to imagine spending such intimate moments with someone, to hold their hand, to hold them, to share a meaningful smile...it's really a beautiful thought.

Poe sets his cup down on the counter before adjusting his coat and making his way to the front door of the spacious house and opens it. He peeks through the gap between the door frame and from where he's opened making sure there are no people out at the moment and he sighs a breath of relief. Stepping out into the quiet evening he takes a walk along a specific quiet and peaceful street he likes. Evening and night are the only times he'll ever make it outside the comfort of his home without having an anxiety attack.

As he walks down the pavement a rustling noise can be heard in an alleyway which he is just about to pass. He freezes and the hair on the back of his neck stands up. From the corner of his eye he sees a dark shadow on the floor approaching which makes him panic, "P-Please don't attack me or anything, I really don't have any valuables that you'd wa-" he cut off his sentence as he felt something rub against the bottom of his leg.

Immediately he drops to his knees and buries his face in his hands, "Okay, okay I'll surrender!" he yelps. "..." Nothing. He dares to turn his head towards his left and relief washes over him, a panic stricken face now softens, "Oh, silly me. Always panicking for no good reason." He now looks at a black cat which has it's head tilted to the side out of confusion.

It was the norm for you to roam around the city at night either because you couldn't sleep or you just liked the atmosphere. If someone happened to be walking by and you felt a curious sense of playfulness then you'd just go up and show them some cat-like affection. However, out of all the times you had done so this had never happened. "How cute." he muttered, snapping you out of your thoughts. He reached out to pet the spot atop your head.

'No wonder why cats like this.' was your thought. "I don't see any collar or anything signifying you belong to someone." he said aloud placing his forefinger on his chin. "I can't just leave you here alone, hmm and Karl would have a playmate if I took you back with me...oh but do raccoons and cats get along? They could possibly..." as he rambled on you wondered if this was a good time as any to scram or reveal that you're actually a human who has the ability to turn into a cat, specifically a black one.

You slowly backed away and he noticed. "Oh no don't be scared!" he reaches his hands out to you. Ah, he seemed like such a nice person, a gentle person. You couldn't just leave like that, now could you? A ribbon of grey spun around you with various kanji on it. A bright light flashed and Poe freezes with his hands which wanted to reach out to you. His eyes widen once he sees the sight in front of him and questions everything he knows. His mouth agape.

"Hi." you said shyly whilst dusting your attire. "...you..." he still kneeled on the ground, frozen. You felt nervous but thought that after what he just witnessed it'd be necessary to tell him about yourself. "Uhm, okay I know you think this is weird but there's this thing called abilities and my ability is to turn into a black cat..." you sped through your words while fiddling with your thumbs.

Now he understands. Of course he knows what abilities are. "Oh. Ah, don't worry I know what abilities are. I have one myself." he says standing up, now realizing just how short you are. You look up, "Wait, you do as well?" a certain spark of curiosity in your eyes, I guess having a cat ability allows you to have the same characteristics of a cat. His cheeks have a faint red color on them, you look cute when you're curious.

"Y-Yes, it's called Black Cat in the Rue Morgue." "What a coincidence." you giggle. He rubs the back of his neck and sighs contently, "Yes it is. It allows me to transport my readers into my books." "Oh, you're a writer!?" another spark of curiosity in your eyes. He internally smiled at your apparent excitement, "Yes I am. Ah! Excuse my rudeness, my name is Edgar Allan Poe but you can just call me Poe if you'd like."

A smile adorned your face and you introduced yourself too. "I'm sorry about startling you earlier, I promise you I'm no cat burglar." He blinks and after a moment you both laugh at the little pun made and the situation itself. "I don't think such an innocent looking being could ever do such a thing." he blushes as he says those words and you do too.

He takes a look at his surroundings and back at you. "W-Would you...like to uh join me for a stroll? I was planning on going t-to this cafe that's opened til late?" You look up and smile while silently thinking his stuttering is rather cute. "Sure." The walk there was peaceful and enjoyable, every three seconds he would glance at you and a lingering question would be on his mind but he brushes it off. He tries to get to know you despite his nervousness and he succeeds. Even if it's just the little things such as your favorite color, where you live, if you have any pets.

You both finally reached the cafe and took a seat, he was gentleman about pulling your seat out for you and such. The only part he dreaded was ordering, that anxiousness that would bubble up in his chest made his mouth go dry and he's at a loss for words. The barista comes about and asks if you'd both like to order anything, a simple coffee/latte was fine for you. Poe looked pale and tugged on the front of his shirt. You worried if he was okay but he eventually ordered something to drink off the menu and a sigh of relief escaped him once he was done talking.

"You okay?" His eyes widens as he finally looks up at you again, "Yes. Yeah I'm fine, no need to worry. I just..." he looks down again while rubbing the back of his neck, his hair falling over his eyes. "I'm just really shy if you could say that. Or perhaps i just have social anxiety." he let out a nervous chuckle while lifting his head to smile at you. A giggle escapes you, "I think it's cute." He's taken aback but only because he's not used to being complimented and his face turns red.

The orders are served and the barista bows and leaves again. A light-hearted conversation flitters between you two and Karl comes up somewhere in the conversation, Poe saying that he'd love to let you see him. You tilt your cup to take a sip of your drink and the sleeve of your shirt rides up a bit, revealing a portion of your wrist. Poe is taking a sip too and his eyes flutter over your figure.

His eyes widen once he catches sight of the scarlet mark on your wrist and he chokes. "A-Are you okay?" you put your cup down and panic slightly. "Y-Yes I'm fine." he replies adjusting himself.

"Can I ask you something?" curiosity now lacing his voice. "Sure, go ahead."

"Have you always had that red feline-like mark on your wrist?" You look at the mark and reply that it's always been there, indeed. "I think it's because of my ability but I'm not really sure. Perhaps it's a birthmark." He smiles. "Perhaps it is." Is this what he thinks it is? No...he couldn't possibly just jump to conclusions, but certainly what a coincidence it was. The exact same mark on both your wrists and a meeting like this? A beautiful coincidence it was.

"Why do you ask?" you tilt your head to the side much as you did when you were a cat. And if he didn't think you were any cuter now he'd be damned. "Oh no, just asking." he gives a closed eyes smile.

'Soulmates. How fascinating.' he thinks while smiling at you as you take another sip of your coffee/latte. His eyes wander again to the scarlet mark on your wrist.

And the plot thickens.

[thatfoxnamedfinley]

So, I just finished The Devil Judge [SPOILERS AHEAD]

SPOILERS. You have been warned.

omfg

OH MY GAWD

First of all, catch Ga On sending innocents to the electric chair so he can have Yo Han come back

I’m not even fucking kidding

Okay but where do I fucking start

I made my last post when I’d only seen up to episode 6.

First of all the final two episodes were fucking masterpieces

I said what I said

I love that Elijah still didn’t find out the truth. Seeing Yo Han scream and struggle while having a panic attack at the thought of Elijah finding out the truth, I’m so GLAD that Ga On did not tell Elijah the truth. 

Literally catch me shedding 11 tears

Seon Ah killing herself, I did NOT see that coming at all. And the flashback to Yo Han reaching his hand out to her, the idea that “It’s always going to come back to just us two in the final moments” trope that worked SO WELL

And she couldn’t kill him, she loved him, and that love endured to when it came down to her or him, she chose him

And though romance wasnt a main plot point (thank god) and romance is my LEAST favorite genre, the subtlely of that love was very well done and in the end I felt very much for Seon Ah.

Ga On on the phone with that piece of shit Supreme Court guy like, “ Yo Han is a pitiful person, he didn’t do what you said” AND THAT 

WEAsEL

convincing Ga On

and the KNIfE SceNE 

and YO GUYS I REALLY THOUGHT THE PARALLEL OF HIM STOPPING THE KNIFE AND SOO HYEON STOPPING THE KNIFE WAS A SIDE BY SIDE COMPARISON FROM THE FANDOM, I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS CANON, LIKE, IN THE ACTUAL SCENE

But I wonder, was that parallel coorelating Soo Hyeon saying “It’s not worth it” in regards to stabbing Yo Han or was that a direct parallel to Yo Han stopping him...to say like...I am the monster so I will let you kill me if you want but you will regret it, which is what Soo Hyeon was saying

Help me understand that parallel fully, I think I know but it’s like REALLY complicated because if it was meant to be interpreted as Do Yeong Chul and Yo Han are the monsters, OR if its to be interpreted as Ga On sees Yo Han as someone riteous to listen to like Soo Hyeon because he stopped the knife???

Because if its meant to be read that way, that Yo Han is someone that Ga On now puts in the same category as Soo Hyeon, all stemming from him stopping the knife, I’m trying to figure out what that means

ok anyway moving on

catch me sliding into the thoughts of Ga On

I feel like the the last parts of episode 15, through the end, Yo Han elevated in Ga On’s mind as someone he loves dearly (platonically or not, doesnt matter). 

He told Yo Han “I will go with you” with the bomb

like 

WHAT

I read an interview with Jinyoung saying that Yo Han was like a magnet to Ga On, he drew him in. And I really see that. He comes across as a character that observes very well, one that watches. And He was just staring at Yo Han’s face with tears in his eyes telling him that he will go with him

I mean at the end of episode 15 when he found out the truth, he said he wanted to die

Why?

Because he felt he treated Yo Han wrong? Even though he was the only person who tried to understand him as a human being, he still thought him capable or doing something that he didn’t do, that he was really accepting the hate and the demonization from others in order to protect someone he pretended not to care about in order to protect her?

Like, I love that

I love that Ga On now sees himself as someone that must be redeemed because he feels Yo Han deserves that justice and that peace

but like the complete admiration, and love, and acceptance from Ga On, the COMPASSION is what makes him such a likeable character

like, he had those moments walking through the house after he thought Yo Han killed himself where he had flashbacks of moments together with Yo Han, but it was the moments he chose to remember

Yo Han looking back at him with kind eyes while they were picking out clothes for Ga On in Yo Han’s closet 

Ga On reaching out to touch Yo Han after he is vulnerable from waking up from a nightmare and looking at the face of someone who looks so much like his dead brother (at this point in time, I DO believe Ga On recognizes that was a very, very vulnerable moment for Yo Han because Yo Han wasn't in his right mind, and Ga On knows he looks like Yo Han’s older brother, which is why he chose to remember it)

The tower of cards that he pretended to knock over, showing Yo Han being playful and smiling

He chose to remember aspects of Yo Han that were warm and kind. Gentle. Vulnerable. And that to me was the moment that made me cry. Like, HARD. 

Out of the things he chooses to think about, he chooses to focus on the aspects of Yo Han that made him human because he was someone who went through trauma and pain and lived in that hell everyday but was still capable of those moments

THE HuG in EPsSOdE 15

THE ANGER LIKE HOW THE FUCK DID YOU NOT TELL ME YOU WERE ALIVE THEN THE HUG AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

ok and finally, the ending scene with the

“What should I do now, to help create a world that doesn’t need Yo Han?” The underlying symbolism smacked me in the jowls. What do I do now, to live in a world without Yo Han?

then 

“DO WELL OR I WILL BE BACK”      

     AND THE CHASE

The desperation to see him one last time, literally sprinting out of a judicial meeting to discuss laws to implement and he zipped out of there

The final meeting between them was poetic and beautiful

Yo Han turning to let Ga On see that he is okay, that he will be okay

Ga On’s expression shifting from relief to questioning to sad and longing and finally to peaceful and even happy (which I think was for Yo Han’s benefit here, when Yo Han turned back around, Ga On’s face shifted back to sadness and longing a little bit. I think he was happy FOR Yo Han, I don’t think he himself was happy at all because it meant that Yo Han was leaving)

No words needed, what a masterpiece

(I say that as i write a thesis)

The Devil Judge was a pleasure to watch, a truly rare show that comes along once in a while for me that I truly loved and enjoyed.

Hit me up if yal want to talk

I think that’s all I feel for now

((Side note, I've watched the actor who plays Kang Yo Han, Ji sung, for a long time now. What a phenomenal actor. I am of the firm belief that while this story is mostly told through the eyes of Ga On, we feel it through Yo Han.))

((Side side note, his prison getup was superior))

((Side side side note, have a shot every time Ga On says KANG YO HAN in the last two episodes))

[five-rivers]

Danger First

Chapter 6

@pocketramblr another :)

.

Shouta trudged back to the staff break room. His counseling session with Midoriya had lasted a little over an hour, so while there were still teachers in the building, many of them had left. With the exception of semi-retired heroes like Recovery Girl, everyone working here had two full time jobs. Hizashi, despite his carefree air, had even more than that in the form of his radio show. Hizashi had probably left with the students.

But Hizashi wasn't either of the ones he wanted to talk to. Not today.

He opened the door. Three, no, four teachers were there, but Snipe didn't count, seeing as he was completely passed out on one of the couches with his gas mask half off. He must have had an early shift patrol today, poor sucker.

Nemuri was there, too, with most of her hero outfit on. She was applying her hero-grade makeup (water proof, resistant to three common contact poisons, and guaranteed not to react badly with mace).

More importantly, Kan and Yagi were both there, poring over papers on the same desk, no less. Shouta walked up to the table and looked down at sheets and sheets full of incomprehensible numbers.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"We-"

'Don't tell him!" said Kan, urgently. "This is going to be my class's leg up on Aizawa this time around."

"Haha! Good one!" Yagi slapped Kan's back, and apparently even in his skeletal form he could pack a punch, because Kan had the air knocked out of him. Before he could recover, Yagi continued, "I'm making personalized nutrition plans for his class!"

"What?"

"One of my undergraduate degrees was in nutritional and health sciences, after all!"

Wow, there was a lot to unpack there, but Shouta was more than happy to leave it in its box. He had other fish to fry and topics to interrogate. Small talk requirement fulfilled, he moved on.

"How well do you know Midoriya?"

Yagi blinked and put down his pencil. "Moderately so? We met about this time last year and have been meeting regularly since then."

So, so much to unpack.

"Why?"

"Ah, he... impressed me, I suppose? He was involved in the bodysnatcher incident last year."

That was an understatement.

"He had a lot of heroic spirit!" continued Yagi. "But... not so much in the, ah, body category. I thought it would be a shame, a waste, really, if he wasn't able to pursue his dream, and a hero school prep course wasn't really in the cards for him, considering his quirk status and the timing... And I did have this degree..." He waved his hands vaguely at the table. "I just gave him a little help."

"What brought all this on, anyway?" asked Nemuri. "Midoriya is the little green haired kid, right? One of Chibiida's new friends?"

"If you keep calling him that, I won't be held responsible for when he snaps and attempts murder. But, yes, that's Midoriya."

"So...?"

"He told me I was the best teacher he'd ever had."

Nemuri started laughing.

"Oh," said Yagi. "I'm glad the two of you are getting along so well."

"I think he's pulling your leg, Shouta," said Nemuri, coming over to pat him on his shoulder. "Man, I didn't think a friend of Chibiida's would have it in him. Such youth!"

"I cannot even begin to tell you how much he wasn't."

Nemuri's laughter died off.

"Judging from some comments he made today," said Shouta, "not to mention the discrepancies between his record and his observed behavior in the classroom, I'd say he's been the target of severe quirkism in the past, particularly from his teachers. Did he ever mention anything like that to you?"

Yagi's face darkened and the mood in the room grew much more somber. "Not in so many words, no. However... some of his comments about his teachers disturbed me enough to bring it to the attention of the Musutafu Educational Services District, but as an unrelated stranger without concrete proof..."

("You can use the acronym, you know," muttered Vlad.)

"You're telling me they ignored the number one hero."

Yagi made a face. "I didn't go to them as All Might. Can you imagine the media frenzy if I did that? I didn't want to paint that kind of target on young Midoriya's back."

That was fair, actually. If largely-anonymous Shouta had enemies, All Might had ten times as many. Not to mention supposed fans.

"Other avenues of inquiry were also fruitless," said All Might, countenance darkening. "I asked some of my police colleagues, but they don't have full discretion over the direction of their investigations, and, again, if I were to use my weight to move them... It would get out, and people would wonder why I was so concerned with an apparently normal middle school."

"Did you try talking to Nezu about it?"

"No? Why?"

Shouta reminded himself that although Yagi was an alumnus, he was also very new as a teacher, and was as of yet unfamiliar with Nezu's more interesting traits.

"I'm going to," said Shouta, "and you're going to come with me." He turned to Kan. "Have you heard anything from Bakugo about quirk discrimination?"

"All I've heard from him are explosions, threats, and some kind of complex I don't have nearly enough psychiatric training to- They're from the same school," he realized.

"Yeah."

Kan pinched his brow. "So, the sweet shy kid you keep gushing about-" Both Shouta and Yagi attempted to reassure Kan they weren't gushing, "-and the demon brat are from the same school."

"That is what their records say," agreed Shouta. "Did you know, Yagi?"

"Oh, that they knew each other? Yes. Actually, I was rather under the impression they were childhood friends, as Midoriya ran out to help him during the bodysnatcher incident."

Shouta grunted. It was possible. He hadn't seen the two of them interact, at any rate.

"I'm going to Nezu with you," said Kan, standing up. "No matter what else this hell school did, they deserve to suffer for inflicting Bakugo Katsuki on me with those recommendations full of lies."

"Why don't you just expell him if he's that bad?"

"Because he's talented, hardworking, and hasn't actually broken any rules except for the swearing. He's just a pain I wasn't prepared to deal with and will probably contribute more to my hearing loss than Yamada by the end of the year."

"Wait, wait," said Yagi. "What exactly are you expecting Nezu to do in this situation?"

"Well," said Nemuri, who still hadn't left yet, "let's just say there's a reason hid name is 'god' in the staff group chat."

.

Terrible did not even begin to describe how Izuku felt when he woke up. His skin was static. His mouth was dry in a way that hurt. It felt like a siren was going off in his brain, and also like it was too quiet. He wanted to both run all the way to the school and hide in his closet.

This, of course, left him paralyzed in bed.

He hadn't felt remotely like this since the first time someone had left spider lilies on his desk at school. What was wrong with him?

No, that was the wrong question. All signs pointed to him having Danger Sense. He was in danger. And also immobile in bed.

With a great deal of effort, he turned to his bedside table and grabbed his phone. The clock in the corner read 4:42. Far too early to call anyone. And yet...

With shaky fingers, he navigated to Mr. Yagi's contact information and pressed dial. To Izuku's surprise, it only rang once.

"Young Midoriya? Is something wrong?"

The sound of his voice loosened the terrible knot under Izuku's breastbone. "I- May-maybe? I don't- I don't know, I think so."

There were sounds of movement on the other side of the line. "What happened?"

"I just- just woke up, and I- I think it's Danger Sense. It- Something bad is going to happen."

"I'm on my way. Is your mother with you?"

"N-no. She's at a- at a tech conference in Tokyo. She won't be back until- until tomorrow. Mr. Yagi, I don't- I don't think it's something here. I think it's later... at the school."

There was a pause. "My boy, are you quite sure?"

Izuku's laugh was just a little hysterical. "I mean, I'm- I'm pretty new to this, but..." he'd like to think his flight or fight reflex would have a more constructive response to am immediate threat. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have woken you up, I should have waited-"

"Nonsense! Forewarned is forearmed, and time is one of the most valuable resources a hero can have! I'm still picking you up, I'll just-" Mr. Yagi coughed, "-take the car instead."

"The car? You mean Hercules!?" The excitement was enough to free Izuku from his paralysis and propel him into a sitting position.

"Well, yes, but, my boy, how did you know? I don't think I've ever mentioned the name in my interviews..."

"But you did! In one of your American interviews. It was for a local station and you and Mr. Shield were on together."

"But those were in English."

"I know! When I found out about them, it really motivated me to work on my English! I think I could probably pass the Level Two fluency test..."

"Young Midoriya, have I ever told you how glad I am that you aren't a villain?"

.

"Hikage, did Danger Sense ever make you feel this bad?" asked Nana as Yoichi fussed in the background.

"Super Anxiety made me feel this bad all the time. Sometimes, it made me feel worse. I got used to it."

Nana let out a sigh of relief. It sucked to Ninth right now, but if it was normal for the quirk...

"That's good, then," said En. "Not for Ninth, obviously, but if that's just how the quirk works, he'll be able to figure it out. What did it usually mean, when you felt like this?"

"Generally, that someone was planning on killing me in the next few hours."

Dead(er than usual) silence.

"Ah," said En.

"You know," said Nana, "sometimes the kinds of lives we led slips my mind, but then the universe is always real happy to turn around and slap it back into me."

Yoichi started screeching.

.

"Do you feel any worse now that we're here?" asked Mr. Yagi after shutting Hercules down.

"Not really," said Izuku. He slumped down in his seat and looked away. "I'm sorry, I dragged you out of bed and this is probably just a stupid pointless meaningless panic attack..." He felt tears begin to prick at the edges of his eyes. He was so stupid. And selfish. All Might could be out helping people right now. Or taking care of himself (which, according to Recovery Girl's comments during their training sessions, he didn't do nearly enough of).

"Hey, hey, there's no need to cry, it's alright."

"Because you're here?" asked Izuku with a sniffle.

"Well, yes, but also, even if it was 'just' a panic attack, I'd still want to be here for you." He reached across the central console to pat Izuku on the shoulder. Then his face twisted into something rather sheepish. "But on the subject of panic attacks, something did occur to me on the way here."

Izuku looked back down at his knees. "What is it?"

"This is the anniversary of the day we met."

Izuku... had known that, actually. Waking up as he had had driven it from his mind, but the date was marked on his calendar. He'd even gotten All Might a gift, although he hadn't yet talked himself into being brave enough to give it to him, and with what happened today, it would most likely languish in his desk drawer for an indefinite period of time as the idea of giving it became progressively more awkward.

"My boy? I can't quite make out what you're saying. You're mumbling."

Izuku clapped his hands over his mouth. "Sorry."

"It's quite alright. I'm just an old man with hearing problems."

"You're not old! It's... I just- I just don't see how- how that's connected to this." He gestured at himself in all his vaguely-trembling glory.

"Young Midoriya... you almost died three separate times that day. That's traumatic. And sometimes anniversaries are... reminders."

"I only almost died once?"

"The first time with the sludge villain, grabbing on to my leg- and I don't think I ever apologized for telling you to let go, I was just so surprised- and then the sludge villain again."

"But I only almost died the first time..." He trailed off as Mr. Yagi gave him a look. He'd thought his mother was the only one who could give looks like that... "Do you really think this is connected to that?"

"I don't know," said Mr. Yagi. "Do you feel like it might be?"

"I don't know," said Izuku. He bent over and knotted his fingers in his hair.

"Do you think it might help to stay home today?"

"No!" yelped Izuku. "No," he repeated, trying to calm his racing heart.

"Alright, alright. Never fear, my boy." Mr. Yagi gave him another steadying shoulder pat. "In that case, let's go into this with the assumption that this is danger sense, and it is attempting to warn you of a real threat."

"Okay," said Izuku. He rubbed at his eyes. "What do we do first?"

Mr. Yagi tensed and looked up at the top floors of UA. "Well..."

.

"Hm!" said Nezu. "That is something of a conundrum! The extent of your quirk is unclear, and it is not properly registered, so we cannot go through the official routes we normally would for a warning given through a precognitive or clairvoyant quirk, even given that we are aware of One for All and the probable nature of Danger Sense."

Nezu knowing about One for All had been a bit of a surprise. In retrospect, maybe it shouldn't have been. All Might would have had to tell Nezu something so that Izuku was allowed on campus before he was really a student, and seeing as how All Might was originally teaching here to find a successor... well, it made sense. Izuku just wished he'd been told.

How many other people knew was a question for later, however.

"Your inexperience with the quirk and other circumstances further complicates the matter."

"Sorry," said Izuku.

"Whatever for? It isn't your fault." Nezu did not wait for an answer. "Then there is yesterday's incident to consider... You say you felt something with the reporters?"

"Y-yes, sir."

"Hm. Yes. Toshinori, I so believe you have a contact who could clear this up much more efficiently."

"I know," said Mr. Yagi. "He isn't picking up his phone."

"You don't think-?" started Izuku.

"No, no, he just hasn't been speaking to me lately."

"Oh? I was under the impression you had been communicating with him regularly since returning to Musutafu."

"He thought I would change my mind about something I didn't change my mind about, apparently. It doesn't matter. What else can we do?"

"A good number of things, luckily. Midoriya, I am going to make a series of phone calls. I would like you to tell me if the sensation you are experiencing changes at all while I make them."

"Yes, sir."

Nezu began methodically going through Izuku's list of teachers, warning them that something 'like yesterday' might happened and going over lesson plans and safety procedures. Nothing really changed. Until Nezu called Thirteen.

(Oh, gosh, they were going to go to the Unforeseen Simulation Joint on a field trip today? That was so cool!)

But after Nezu talked to Thirteen about checking safety systems, a little bit of the tension he'd been holding onto leaked away.

"Interesting," said Nezu. "Perhaps we should reschedule rescue training until-"

Izuku dove for Nezu's garbage bin.

"-or perhaps not," mused Nezu as Izuku expelled the meager contents of his stomach.

It was a good thing he hadn't eaten breakfast.

.

"Hikage," said Banjo. "I'm sorry for calling you a dead-eyed emotionally stunted bastard with a warped sense of humor if this is what you had to put up with all the time."

"You called me a dead-eyed emotionally stunted bastard?"

"Not to your face, but yes."

"Well. It isn't as if those things aren't all true..."

.

"I'm okay," said Izuku. "That just... felt bad."

"No cancelations in that case," said Nezu as Mr. Yagi hovered.

"Y-yeah. Oh gosh, now I know how Uraraka feels..."

"Perhaps you should stay home-"

"No! I can't! That would be..."

Nezu held up his hands- paws? "It was merely a suggestion. Can I offer you some tea?"

"Yes, please," said Izuku, voice catching uncomfortably on his raw throat.

"I do have a few more calls to make. Do you feel up to staying, or would you prefer to head down to Recovery Girl? Or perhaps even the cafeteria? I imagine you haven't eaten breakfast."

"I'd like to stay."

"Very well." Nezu picked up his phone again. Izuku could just make out the click on the other end when it was picked up. "Am I a mouse? A dog? A bear? One thing's for sure! I'm the principal!" There was laughter on the other end of the line. "No, not at all! I am in fact calling for you, Tensei. Or should I say, Ingenium? I'm aware this is last minute, and you were planning on taking the day off- How do I know? It was quite simple, really- but between the break-in yesterday and a tip I received this morning regarding a threat to the school, I would like a few more hands on deck than usual. Why, yes, you can stay with your brother's class. Do try not to tease Shouta too much. He has a reputation to maintain." After a few more pleasantries, Nezu hung up. "Midoriya?"

"I... think that's better? I'm sorry, it's hard to tell what could be the quirk and what's just me feeling bad."

Nezu nodded. "In that case, I do recommend that you head to Recovery Girl's office. My other calls will be similar, and the other heroes will not be with your class."

"Why not?" asked Mr. Yagi.

"Because Midoriya's reaction to the field trip being canceled suggests that the danger may not be limited to himself or his class. Oh! And one more thing. Midoriya, I noticed that you put in some costume alteration requests. Naturally, most of them will not be finished until some time next week, however, some of the support items you mentioned are fairly common. If you have time before the field trip, you should pay a visit to Power Loader."

.

Izuku hadn't expected it, but he did feel much better after eating, despite his continuing sense of impending doom. It was also about half an hour from the beginning of homeroom, so he had the time to go to the support department and check if they had anything he could take.

He hoped they had grappling hooks. Izuku had always wanted a grappling hook.

Mr. Yagi took him most of the way there, but students had started to arrive at this point, and Izuku convinced him to go prepare for classes (and hide in the staff area so that no one would wonder why he, a skeleton man not recognizable as a hero, was at the school). Before too long, Izuku stood in front of a rather sturdy-looking metal door. He hoped this was the right one.

He raised his hand to knock just as something crashed into him. Ah. This was it for sure. The way he would die. The danger he had foreseen.

No. Wait. Never mind. He was fine, just on the ground.

"Oh! There was a person there! You okay?"

"U-um," said Izuku, sitting up and rubbing his head. "I'm fine, just a little startled."

"What're you doing here, anyway?"

"I- I'm here for... support... gear?" He sort of trailed off as he looked up.

It was the intense pink haired girl from the other day. As he watched, her expression changed from one of mild concern to calculating interest.

"Support gear, you say?"

.

Shouta answered his phone as he walked down the hall. "Nezu, I've already done every security check I can think of that'll fit-"

"Not quite why I was calling, although I can see why you would think so. One of your students needs to be rescued from the support department."

Shouta changed direction without missing a beat. "It's Midoriya, isn't it?"

"Why, yes."

"Did you send him down there without warning him?"

"Yes, again. You know me so well!"

Shouta hung up.

[rome5683]

Bucky Barnes X FemReader

(OneShot or a multi-chaptered fanfic? LMK)

You walked down the street with light steps, relieved by the airy breeze in the summer day. You had used to live here your whole life, so being back permanently was almost a relief. As much as you loved the West Coast, the East will always be your home. You had just gotten some takeout food- finding the excuse of going in person to see that cute guy who always works as a cashier.

Not that you would settle for just a cute face, but it was always nice to see someone handsome. It was the golden hour, and you always thought Brooklyn was always most beautiful at this time of day. A nice walk was a good contrast to your daily routine- especially since you never really had to leave your apartment.

However, you were a little too lost in your own thoughts. You forgot to glance into the alley you almost walked past and were grabbed. You yelped, struggling against the person- which felt like a man- who grabbed you. And as much as your fear panged your heart, your annoyance ebbed with your childish stubborn tendencies. Your food- you paid fifty bucks for your food- and as he lifted you off the ground from behind, and as much as you tried to not let it happen- it happened. Your bag of food fell to the ground, and you shrieked in anger this time. His arm, across your chest firmly, and a hand over your mouth, and you tried to kick at the air and you dug your nails into his skin as deep as they’d go. He hissed, but his grip on you stayed strong as he dragged you further into the alley. The fear and adrenaline running in you was getting the best of you, and you tried to remember all the self defense tricks you’d learned in the past. But when you felt another’s guy start to grab onto your legs, your mind was suddenly blank again. You heard someone’s voice in the distance, and you felt a little relief until you realized what they said.

“Oh, come on, Sam. Since when did I have to give you romantic advice?”

They didn’t hear you. They didn’t know what was happening. They would just walk by. You racked your brain before it finally hit you- you managed to kick hard enough that the other guy was away. You suddenly went limp and pulled at the arm that held you with all your strength. He was flipped over your body altogether, and you panted in relief. But it wasn’t over, the two people could still get up. You looked to the person walking by, going into a run down the alley and yelling loudly.

“Hey! Help-” You saw the edge of the stranger’s face as they started to turn towards you, before a hand caught onto your ankle. You fell down with your hands out, and let out a cry as the perpetrator dragged your body more and turned you around to face them. You couldn’t help the tears that spilled on the edges of your face as you struggled against the masked perpetrator straddling you now. Your hands went to hit him, fighting against his own hands that tried to get at you. You even managed to slap his face, but it seemed to do nothing. The panic increased as your wrists were suddenly held above your head by someone else, his face got closer, you could feel yourself start to hyperventilate as the reality started to seep in. You yelled out as his lips went to touch yours, until he was suddenly gone from your view in a blur. The grip on your wrists loosened, and went away altogether as the accomplice rushed around you and to the direction the other was tackled in. You let out a small cry of relief, slowly getting up as you turned to see one man dressed in a black jacket with a slightly flared up collar taking on the two masked guys.

You were reaching in your pocket to pull out your phone, about to call when he knocked one away with ease. Too much ease. Your eyes widened, seeing him knock the other one out with a single punch. It was the guy from earlier- the one on the phone. He was helping.

The other who was knocked away stood up, facing away from you and pulled out a gun from the back of his shirt. You looked around, panicking to find something…

A thick branch lay there beside a nearby dumpster. You took it, swinging at the man who had held the good samaritan at gunpoint. The accomplice fell to the floor with a grunt, and you sighed in actual and final relief. Your eyes took him in, his muscular stature and your barely significant height difference. His jaw was well defined, had a light beard, and he had a short haircut. He came over to you, his brows furrowed as he spoke while his eyes were covered with his sunglasses, “Are you okay?”

You were at a loss for words, looking at the unconscious bodies of the people who had you restrained for… god knows what. You looked back at him, nodding with a gulp. “Thanks to you, yeah.”

“You found a way to tell me you needed help- it was all you.” He made a weird and somewhat awkward smile as you two stood in silence. You got your phone out again, showing him with a wave of your hand.

“This is the part where we call the police, right?”

He nodded, standing around a little awkwardly with his hands on his hips as you dialed the police.

“Yes, um, hi. My name is (Y/N) (L/N). I was just… there was an attempt to assault me, and- no, they’re knocked out right now. Yes, two perpetrators.” You looked back up, seeing your savior start to search the guys, kicking away the guns. “I-I didn’t knock them out. There was this person walking by… his name?”

The heroic stranger turned to you, and slightly stammered before speaking, “Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes.”

You slightly cocked a brow before turning and repeating it, “Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes.”

Bucky picked up the guns, unloading them and letting the bullets fall to the floor. He couldn’t believe he’d almost completely walked by…

You sighed, “We’re in Brooklyn- um, I don’t know the streets, I never used to live around here-”

“Dekalb Avenue, between Cumberland and Carlton.” James provided half a smile, and you smiled back.

“Um, the person who helped me said it’s Dekalb Avenue, between Cumberland- yeah, that’s the one.” You nodded in response to the operator, and were waiting in silence. You put the phone on mute and on speaker as you waited, looking over to your savior once again. He was… handsome, even as awkward as he was. “Even though this isn’t exactly the best way to meet someone… it’s nice to meet you, James.”

“You can call me Bucky.” He gave you a nod, and you couldn’t help but look again at the knocked out guys.

“Bucky… how are you… you’re so strong. How?” You looked at him with a furrowed brow, confused and somewhat intrigued about this handsome stranger.

He looked away, using his right hand to adjust his glove on his left hand. “I work out.”

“Obviously.” You scoffed and couldn’t help your awe-filled expression as you stepped closer, “You were amazing.”

“I could say the same about you.” He cocked his head, giving you another smile. “I mean, you managed to get free of both of those guys- and knocked one out before he could kill me.”

“Oh, please. That was nothing-“

“You saved my life, and I helped save yours.” He raised his dimpled chin slightly and practically grinned, “I wouldn’t call that nothing.”

You shook your head, about to respond before the 911 operator spoke up.

You unmuted it quickly, “Yes, thank you.”

“Of course, thank you.” You responded, before muting yourself again and looking back at Bucky. “You’ll wait with me, right?”

“Of course.” He spoke without hesitation, and you couldn’t help but smile. He stepped closer, his hand reaching out to your forehead as he hissed in reaction

to seeing something. Your breath hitched as his leather glove tentatively touched your skin, his brow furrowed in what seemed to be concentration, “You’re bleeding.”

You managed a nervous laugh, “I’m fine. I… I barely even knew it was there-”

“I’ll clean it up for you.” You were about to shake your head and speak up in protest when the sirens and flashing colored lights indicated the police were here. You glanced towards the end of the alley, covering your eyes from the bright headlights, and saw the two police officers approach. You unmuted the phone again.

“The police are here. Thank you.”

The operator hung up on you promptly, and you walked with Bucky over to the police officers.

“Miss, I am Officer Deputant.” The one with pale skin and dark hair spoke first, “This is my partner, Officer Fredrickson.” Officer Deputant gestured to the tan-skinned officer beside him. “Where are the perps?”

Bucky gestured behind him, “Over there. They had weapons, and attacked this woman together.”

You nodded in agreement, and the Officer squinted at Bucky before his eyes slightly widened.

“Ah. Sergeant Barnes.” Officer Deputant nodded his head in respect, as did Officer Fredrickson. “It’s an honor to meet you, perhaps not in this situation but-“

“It’s okay.” Bucky cut him off, not really in the mood for pleasantries when you were still not exactly healed from your cut. “It’s nice to meet you too. Now, I assume you too have got it handled from here.”

“Oh. We were wondering if you two could give an official statement at the precinct-“

“I’ll take her tomorrow.” Bucky interceded much to your relief. You wanted rest. And food.

“Sounds good. I’ll let my captain know.”

Bucky nodded, walking ahead and looking back at you to follow him. You were a little hesitant, but then again, he saved you. And he wanted to help you clean your cut- it’s not like he’s the one who attacked you.

You nodded towards the cops in a form of goodbye, and walked with Bucky as you started to lead him to your apartment.

-

You stopped by the stairs, somewhat happy to see you were already home after the small walk of silence. Bucky himself couldn’t believe it, he used to be so charismatic with the ladies, and now he was an awkward mess. He couldn’t help it, he felt so out of place in this new world.

You pointed up to the apartment, “This is me.” You looked to see Bucky looking away, and you suddenly felt a small pang of sadness. “I’ll… go get the medkit.”

“What?” Bucky raised a brow, suddenly pulled out of thought. “Oh, right. Yeah.”

You turned as he finished speaking, racing up stairs.

Bucky sat on the steps, his heart thudding with anxiousness as he overanalyzed the way he was acting. He was worse than Steve at this point. He took off his glasses, gripping his nose as he cursed under his breath.

You ran your hand through your hair as you walked down with the medkit, sitting beside Bucky and holding out the medkit. He took it from you silently, opening it and going straight for the antiseptic wipes. He opened it, getting the wipes out and gingerly wiping at your cut. You hissed in reaction, and he frowned as he pulled his hand away.

“Sorry.” He leaned in closer, his hand returning to your small wound. “I’ll try to be more careful.”

You let out a soft sigh, suddenly finding yourself drawn to his eyes which were still trained on your forehead. His lashes, his lips, his blue eyes. You couldn’t believe you spoke your thoughts out loud, “Your eyes are so pretty.”

Bucky’s eyes flashed to yours, the faintest red tint spreading across his cheeks as he smiled and continued to clean your cut. “Yours are prettier.”

You were somewhat at a loss for words, and you tucked your bottom lip in out of nervousness. Bucky glanced at your lips, feeling drawn to them as he slowly put down his hands from your forehead. The night chill made your skin feel alive, the sun now completely gone from view. You leaned in a little, your eyes fluttering shut as his nose slightly brushed against yours. You held your breath as you felt him hesitantly and slightly brush his lips against yours. It felt like you stayed like that forever, waiting for him to finally close the distance fully. Just as he pulled away, you couldn’t help it anymore. You leaned more forward, pressing your lips against his completely. His gloved left hand went to your neck, firm and strong as he held you against him. You pulled away slightly only to kiss him again, moving your lips with grace against his. Even though his lips slightly puckered in response, he held completely still. You felt a little awkward as he didn’t respond as you thought, and pulled away. You opened your eyes slightly, pressing your lips firm together as you saw his eyes still shut in what seemed to be frustration since his eyebrows were furrowed.

“I’m sorry, I-”

Bucky opened his eyes, shaking his head as he kissed you this time. Your mouths moved in sync, your tongue darting out to briefly brush against his lips for permission. He slightly gasped at your kiss becoming a french one, your tongues brushing against each other which stirred a warm sensation in the pit of your stomach. It was a pleasing sensation.

He pulled away with a groan, making you let out the slightest whimper. You spoke first, your foreheads still against each other, “Would you like to come inside?”

His eyes flashed open, the corner of his lips tugging them into a smile. “Would I ever.”

You smiled.

-

You couldn’t help but to kiss him roughly as he leaned against the doorframe, and when he picked you up against the door with only one arm- it only made you want more. His kisses were just as rough as yours, if not harsher. Bruising, those kisses were so beautifully bruising.

You struggled to open the door, but when you did, you two went tumbling through it. He easily stabled your guys’ balance, holding you completely against him as he still continued to kiss you with eagerness. His one arm against the small of your back, the other holding your neck as you two kissed, and you gently grasped his hand that held your neck and made it travel lower, squeezing your own breast with both of your hands. He groaned again into your mouth, kneading it happily.

You moaned, your hands gripping at his shoulders as he placed you on the nearest tabletop. You rushed to take off his jacket when he stopped you, gently grasping your hands in his gloved ones. You looked at him confused, almost dejected.

“What’s wrong?” You whispered the question, taking his face in your hands.

“I don’t want you to see me and make that face…”

“What face? Is there something wrong with my-”

“No, no. I just… I hate when people look at my…”

You looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to finish his sentence. He shook his head, raising his chin with resilience as he started to slip off his gloves. Your eyes slightly widened, seeing his dark grey mechanical hand with gold highlights. Your brow instinctually raised as he slipped off his jacket, being able to see his muscles more defined without it, the way his body looked with his short-sleeved shirt, and the way it was tight around his torso and triceps only made the burning desire in you worse. Your hand reached out hesitantly, and you glanced at his face for permission, and when you saw that he wouldn’t object, your hand met the cold feel of the vibranium. Bucky’s breath hitched as you ran your fingers down his metallic arm, surprised at how much he could feel as your fingers ran down his arm. He was also surprised at the way your eyes had only darkened with more lust when he took off his jacket, and not with pity or even envy.

Your hand stopped at his, grasping it and running your thumb across it. You looked back up at him, a hint of a smile on your lips as you spoke, “It’s beautiful.”

He scoffed in disbelief before kissing you again, his cool metal fingers grasping your neck with ease as he tongued you gently. Your hands travelled to the curve of his waist this time, relishing in the feel of his skin underneath his shirt. Bucky pulled away, allowing you to grin as you helped slip off his shirt with ease. You took off your own long-sleeve shirt right after, loving the way Bucky’s gaze went to your brassiere immediately. You unhooked your bra with ease, suddenly feeling your confidence be replaced with your shy tendencies as you still held your brassiere against your breasts. You didn’t want to stop this feeling of being confident- this was your chance to be with someone physically, which hasn’t happened in a very long time.

Bucky simply kissed at your shoulder softly, his hands rubbing circles across your waist which gave you comfort, and you were reminded of the confidence you had. You needed this- you craved this. You inhaled sharply as the brassiere fell to the floor, looking to see Bucky’s reaction. He picked you up almost immediately after looking at your breasts, seemingly looking around before he spotted the semi-open door to your bedroom.

He laid you down on the bed with ease, his hand tipping your chin upwards and making you face the ceiling as his head dipped down to take your nipple in his mouth. You let out a strangled moan at the feeling of his tongue, your hands gripping at the bedsheets into a fist as your back arched against him. The last time you’d been with someone else… it wasn’t even comparable to the feeling you body got from being with this new person. Your skin was on fire, wanting more of his touch everywhere. Your eyes fluttered shut as his other hand went to your other nipple, squeezing and kneading and pinching while his teeth slightly nibbled on the other.

By the time he switched nipples, your panties were already feeling a little too moist. The way he was loving your body, worshipping your breasts made you confused at why you were so nervous in the first place. His fingers being cold with its vibranium only made your nipples harder, and you couldn’t help but to hook one of your legs around his waist and pull his core closer to yours.

Bucky pulled away with a slight pop of your skin, looking down at you as he slightly grinded his bulge against you. You looked up at him with hooded eyes, your chest fluttering with butterflies as you bit your lip at the sensation. He grinded once more, making you moan again, and that was when he decided he’d had enough of this. He needed more.

Bucky’s hands went to undo your jeans, your hips lifting with eager cooperation as he slid them down your legs. They got stuck at your shoes, which was a little awkward but he didn’t mind taking your shoes and socks off at all. He grinned when he finally threw away your jeans, and you laughed at his giddy expression before sitting him up and kissing him sensually. Those lips, oh, those lips were a godsend.

His right hand traveled downwards, slipping underneath your panties, and you both gasped as his fingers rubbed against your dripping sex. Your legs parted more, sitting on either side of him as you moaned at the sensations he was blessing you with. Bucky seemed to smirk, and your mouth went slightly slack as he lazily rubbed your clit as well. He cocked his head to the side, his hand rubbing away between your legs as you held onto his neck for support. His husky voice sounded smug in itself as he whispered against your ear, “Did I do that?”

As he didn’t already know the effect he was having on you! You would’ve been annoyed if it wasn’t for the fact he was really good with his hands. You let out a sigh as his finger entered your sex, and you started to instinctually grind against his hand. Another finger, and you hissed because oh god did it feel amazing. Your hold on his neck turned into a grip, and when you moaned his name, “Oh, Bucky.” It really did set him off. He wanted to hear your broken voice say it like a prayer, to hear your moans and to really show you what he could do.

Bucky pulled his hand out of your panties, ignoring your dazed expression as he experimentally licked at his fingers. You raised a brow as he gingerly sucked at your juices, “Okay, that’s hot.”

He smiled in amusement at your statement, but his eyes said something else as he placed his hands on either side of you and leaned forward. You laid on your back, feeling like measly prey as his eyes, which were ablaze with lust, travelled down your body again. Your hands went to his jeans this time, pulling them down along with his boxers in one swift motion. Your eyes slightly widened at the sight of it, and you gently ran a finger down his hard length with curiosity.

Bucky hissed at the contact, not having had any touch but himself for a while. More than a while, really. You bit your bottom lip subconsciously as you wrapped your hand gingerly around his cock, though you couldn’t exactly wrap your whole hand around it, and started going up and down his length with your hand.

He was suddenly a little mad with himself. It’d been a struggle to find anyone to date, let alone make love, yet here you were with him. If only he had been bolder with someone sooner… if only he’d met you sooner…

His hands went to your neck, kissing you deeply as he laid you back down. You could feel his member rub against your sex, and you suddenly froze. He pulled away, his face suddenly worried. Did he do something wrong? “What’s wrong?”

You felt bad about making him worry, but… “Condom.”

You spoke so easily, yet it slightly confused him. He was a super soldier- he was always healthy. What was the- oh. Of course, you didn’t know that. To you, he was still a stranger- just a stranger with a seemingly advanced prosthetic arm. He stammered, not really sure what to say. It wasn’t like people just carried condoms on them all the time, was it? He silently spoke with almost embarrassment, “I don’t have one…”

You went silent for a moment, brows furrowed as you thought if you had one. You weren’t having sex at all, it’d been years and you were always a relationship type of girl. And you’d only had, like, two lengthy relationships. Sex had always been an intimate and important thing to you, yet here you were with this handsome and heroic stranger… aha! You held a finger, moving from under him and racing to your restroom. He watched your naked body as you left, kneeling on the bed and thinking about the way your ass had just bounced slightly-

“I found it.” You grinned, walking out with a small box. A week ago, you had gone on a small visit to Planned Parenthood with one of your friends to support her while she had something checked out. On the way out, they literally gave you a bunch of birth controls and condoms completely for free. You sat on the bed, sifting through the box of condoms and types of birth control as Bucky moved behind you. You wondered which one would be better- ribbed or regular?

He nibbled at your shoulder absentmindedly, and his eyes widened at all the condoms you had in the small box. Were you… how many people did you go home with? Not that he minded a lot… but there were a lot of condoms there. You caught his eye and laughed, “Oh. I don’t really use these, I got them as a gift.”

“A gift?” He questioned, and you shrugged with a smile.

“Planned Parenthood. It’s this place for women, and men, though women mostly use it… anyways, they promote safe sex and stuff.”

“Oh.” Bucky nodded, somewhat understanding but still in awe of how the world had progressed. Back then, it was usually a taboo thing to do something like that outside of marriage. Even if you were married, it wasn’t really talked about a lot besides men. He was somewhat surprised at the way women were so open about it, but then again, he never had really judged on those things based on sex. “So… does this mean-”

“We can continue?” You looked over, smiling at his slightly confused yet hopeful expression. You placed the box on the bedside table, grabbing a condom before turning back around to kiss him again. You could swear you would never tire of kissing him, his lips were soft, and you didn’t mind the stubble of his beard as much as you thought you would. You pulled away slightly with a murmur, “Hell yeah, we can continue.”

He grinned impishly, kissing you again and pressing you down against the bed again to continue where you two had left off. Your hands absentmindedly massaged his shoulders as the condom fell beside you, he kissed you deeper and moaned before pulling away and grabbing the condom. He ripped it open with his teeth easily, taking out the ribbed red condom with a raised brow. “Are those-”

“They’re small ridges…” You withheld a laugh at his confused expression, “They’re supposed to add more sensation? I don’t know, I’ve never really used them, but, I figured why not.”

He nodded, before looking down at the condom and then his member. It’d been so long since… god, he was nervous. You smiled reassuringly, taking it from his hand as you kneeled in front of him.

“I can help.”

Bucky looked at you somewhat confused before you rolled it on with your mouth, a guttural groan leaving his mouth as you helped slide it on with both your hands and mouth easily. You pulled away, satisfied by the look on his face. You sat up, pushing him in the other direction so he sat down on the bed and against the headrest instead of kneeling, and silently straddled his lap.

He swallowed as his hands went to your waist, looking at you with lust and nervousness in his blue eyes. Like this, in the moonlight that shone through your window, he didn’t think he’d ever seen someone so beautiful. You kissed him again, hoping to ease his tension, and carefully grasped his cock to position him at your hole. You pulled away, searching for any doubt in his eyes as he did the same to you. After all, Bucky was nothing if not the gentleman his mother had taught him to be when he was still a young child.

Slowly, you sank your wet sex onto his cock, both of you groaning loudly as he stretched your vice-like core. It’d been too long for either of you, especially for Bucky. You let out a small whimper as you continued, determined to fully sink down, and you did. You gasped, panted really, as you held his biceps for support. It was… a lot to take in, literally.

Bucky clenched his jaw, his hands gripping at your waist as he held still. Really, he wanted to start moving, but he knew you weren’t ready. Even with the condom, you were just so wet and tight, it astounded him that a feeling like this could still exist. He’d faced a lot of bad, and this… there wasn’t a single flaw about this. About you.

You clenched around his cock, letting out a moan as your sex adjusted. Bucky’s hands travelled to your ass, gripping them, and you secured your hands around his neck before you start to move. Slowly at first, setting a pace since you were still getting the hang of it again, then faster. Up and down you moved on his cock, your breast bouncing just as you did on his lap, your moans becoming more into whimpers each time his cock plunged all the way inside again. His teeth gritted as he dug his face into the croon of your neck, loving the feeling of you a little too much. He had been left touch-starved for far too long. He could swear this was going to be an addiction… you were going to be his addiction with the way things were going. The way your nipples rubbed across his heated skin, the way you clenched around him… as much as he loved the way you bounced in his lap, he wanted to be the one making you go senseless.

He started to thrust upwards now, his hands using the grip on your ass to keep you still instead. You yelped at the new change of pace, feeling your head fog with nothing but him as he really started to fuck you. You cried out, “Ah! Bucky! Yes, please. Please fuck me, Bucky.”

The feeling was truly inexplicable. It was consuming, your whole body humming with pleasure as he fucked you from below.

You looked down at him through squinted eyes, his lip bitten in concentration, his forehead perspiring lightly, and his blue eyes that focused on where you two were joined. God, he was so beautiful.

You grasped his face, making him look upwards as you leaned down to kiss him. He slowed down, kissing you while he continued to fuck you, and you pulled away with a breathless gasp, “Oh, Bucky. You feel so good- ah.”

“You feel good, too, (Y/N). So good. So right.” He grunted, moving you onto your back instead and pressing his forehead against you, pulling out except for the tip, before filling you again. And again. You let out another loud gasp, his thrusts becoming faster as he lifted your right leg to allow him better access.

You looked up at Bucky’s face, moaning and whimpering his name as his cock brought you to the edge. Thrust after thrust inside you, Bucky was in bliss. He kept going, over and over, groaning and grunting in unison with you. He kissed you deeply, suddenly grinding into you at an angle, and that was the last straw. You bit his lip harshly but not enough to bleed, pulling at the edges of hair at the back of his neck as your climax overcame you. You let your head fall back, completely letting go of his lip, and let out a cry as you came undone. “Buckyy!”

He hissed as your sex clenched and unclenched, continuing to thrust sloppily as his own climax approached. His left hand gripped your leg a little too hard, but even then with the slight discomfort, the other feeling of pleasure only made it better. The way you said his name made it all the better… he let go just after you, staying completely still inside you now, your moaning never ceasing at the overstimulation as he finished inside the condom.

Bucky sighed, content, letting go of your leg and pulling out of you as he went to lay beside you. You let out a loud and content sigh as well, the promise of sleep starting to make your body feel relaxed.

Bucky was about to get back up, to dress himself and perhaps leave, or ask if you wanted him to go at all when you sleepily rolled over and snuggled up to his side. He looked down at your now sleeping form, his hand absentmindedly placing itself on your waist as he closed his own eyes and easily fell asleep.

———

https://www.tumblr.com/chat/cBUYQC_pCqD7B82KgCf7dw/buckys-personal-arsenal-of-fans

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[bbugyu]

of all the views you had seen, there was little that could compare to him.

6.2k | cavalry captain!jeonghan x gn pyro!reader, genshin impact au, fluff, adventure, drinking, so much flirting, mentions of trauma, honestly this is the sweetest i'm ever gonna write jeonghan

happy inazuma release day!!! it's your local kaeya trash, because i predictably fall for gay bastards that lie straight to my face (example: jeonghan), and i'm here to give you a fic i wrote AGES ago and just polished up a bit to celebrate the release of what is likely going to be my FAVORITE region in genshin impact. i'm japanese so 😅 i have a soft spot. if there's any other gaymer carats out there, enjoy this one. if not, sorry! you can actually probably still read this and understand it for the most part, though you might miss a bit of context of the landscape and the lore.

ps. go tell @babiemingoo that wonwoo xinqiu 🤭

~

your work with the adventurer's guild was always efficient. you received your commissions, you carried them out, then returned for your reward, usually before the sun had even peaked. the rest of your day was generally spent either basking in the eternal sun of mondstadt, feeding cats in inazuma, or enjoying a hard earned meal in liyue, depending on where you decided to stay that week, finding board and paying for it with the commission you had earned that day. your tendency to wander came less from choice and more from nature - you could call yourself a nomad, but generally, you just got bored, and preferred seeing everything teyvat had to offer rather than settling in one place. adventuring was simply what you were meant to do, your mother had told you at a young age.

she, too, had wandered for most of her youth, and didn't stop just because you had come into her life. you remembered getting scooped up because you had wandered off a bit too close to the railing at wangshu inn as a toddler, playing with dogs at the docks of liyue harbor. you remembered the ludi harpastum and the first time you had ever had a sweet honey roast, and the way it made your eyes grow ten times in size before you dug in for more.

when your vision was bestowed upon you, you already knew how to use a sword. it was important, your mother told you, that you knew how to protect yourself. she had a vision as well, younger even than you had, and you had come to recognize the static in the air as a sign that she was angry - whether it was because of an altercation with someone on your journey or because you had secretly eaten the last hashbrown without consulting her first.

she used her vision and a sturdy blade she had owned since before you were born to protect the two of you on the road, but when she felt you were old enough, she taught you how to weild. a two handed weapon that was far too big for you when you were only fourteen, but when your reckless abandon got paired with a spark, you suddenly became far more dangerous than even your own mother. she scolded you for nearly starting a forest fire when you tried to pair the two skills for the first time after receiving your vision, and you both agreed that training was a beach activity from then on.

your mother settled eventually, after you were old and skilled enough to take on the road alone, pulling the many favors she had gathered in her travels to build a home in a small neighborhood south of liyue harbor, nestled in the foothills of mount tianheng, where you visited as often as your wandering allowed.

you had become much better with your vision. more careful but just as hot. quick to scan situations and strategize in the moment, hardly taking a second before jumping into action, slaying hilichurls like you were getting paid. well, you were, you supposed, but you had been doing this long before you had discovered the benefit of joining the guild. you were good at it. you were built for adventure, but revelled in leisure. there was good reason you were able to take afternoons off, and you milked every last second of it.

"you're back in town?"

you grinned, leaning your sword against the wall and dropping your bag off your shoulders before settling at the bar. "for now."

rubin often served you alcohol - when you were in mondstadt, at least, however often that may be - but never questioned you deeply. he would ask how your travels were, and listen to your stories from regions beyond his knowledge, of the cultures that he had only heard of from people like you. he enjoyed them just about as much as any, if not a little more, purely because your tenacious personality brought something more to the table. he wondered, though, how long you intended to keep living day by day, sleeping in different beds every week.

"what's wrong with sleeping in different beds?" you teased, laughing into your wine glass. "if i didn't know any better, i'd think you were shaming me, rube."

rubin simply laughed, knowing your tone by now. "i just wonder if you ever intend on digging in your roots, or if you'll continue travelling forever."

"if i dig roots, you may never see me again. is that what you want?"

"what," he said. "you don't like mondstadt?"

"i love monstadt," you assured him. "but i also love inazuma. and my mother is in liyue, though she might be upset with me if i try to settle too close to her. perhaps natlan would suit me more?" you shrugged finally, the door behind you opening as you finished with "i suppose i'll settle when i've found a reason to love one place more than the rest."

rubin shook his head, a chuckle falling from his lips. "a wanderer through and through." his attention was quickly drawn to the man entering the bar. "ah, captain! the usual?"

"please," the decorated man said, quickly taking a seat beside you despite the rest of the bar being available. "would you like another, wanderer?"

you eyed him cautiously, studying what you could see if his face around the black eyepatch, gaze skimming down his elaborate clothing before looking down at your emptied drink. "sure."

"another for your wandering friend, rubin, on my tab, please." your brain swirled, considering the brief information you had been given and wondered how you had never managed to meet this regular during your past visits. "are you just drinking dandelion wine, or something more fun?"

"more fun?" you asked. "what are you drinking, then?"

"well, a death after noon, of course," he stated. "don't tell me you haven't had one."

you blinked at him. "i haven't."

you turned towards rubin when he laughed at the back and forth. "shall i make two, then?"

"definitely," your new drinking buddy said, then gestured to you. "you trust my taste, right?"

you said nothing, but he accepted your silent smile as an agreeance. "captain," you said finally, thinking of how rubin had addressed him. "of?"

the man turned towards you, his elbow planted on the bar and his cheek on a fist. despite his get up, he had a playful smirk across his lips. "you mean, my reputation doesn't precede me? you really are a wanderer. everyone in mondstadt knows my name."

"everyone but me," you corrected. "as i'm currently in mondstadt."

his teeth shone behind his smirking lips before he sat up straight. "well, allow me to introduce myself." he saluted, his arm extending from his side at an angle - a salute you recognized from the guards around the city. "i am jeonghan, the cavalry captain of the knights of favonius."

"ah, the knights," you smiled briefly, before letting your eyes wander as you thought, crossing your arms over the bar. "i don't see much of a cavalry in the city, though."

he let out an amused exhale. "so i have a bit more free time these days."

"i'm sure the acting grand master is jealous of all your free time," you teased. "poor guy, looks like he's staving off a panic attack every time i see him. you should probably help him more."

"so," he sighed, leaning against the bar again. "you know of the acting grand master but not me?"

"jihoon?" you asked. "of course i know of him. he's all anyone ever talks about around here."

jeonghan nodded once, thanking rubin when he placed two drinks before you. "people talk about me, also, you know."

your lips stuck out in a pout. "jeonghan, you said? doesn't ring a bell."

he rolled his eyes and picked up his drink, holding it out for you to cheers against. you giggled, clinking your glass against his before taking a sip. the golden liquid was sweet, but not like the dandelion wine you had grown to love in this region. it had more depth, a subtle bitterness to it, and a refreshing bubble. you stared after the glass when it left your lips, then looked over to find jeonghan grinning at you.

"i see why it's your usual," you said, taking another sip before placing the glass on the bar. "i could drink too many."

"will you?" he asked.

"not tonight," you replied coolly. "i haven't asked sana to put me up at the guild yet, and if i get there too late, i'll get a cot instead of a bed. unless rubin finally wants to come clean about something?"

the bartender laughed. "how many times do i have to tell you? we don't even have rooms to board."

you squinted at him. "i know there's something upstairs. i'll learn your secrets one day, rube."

"i wouldn't be a very good bartender if i didn't know how to keep them."

"so you're in the guild?" jeonghan asked as rubin attended to another patron. "an adventuring wanderer."

you smiled vaguely at him. "i am. i have to pay for my travels somehow."

he shrugged. "there's other ways to make money. probably more profitable, too."

you eyed his teasing smirk. "i'm not sure i know what you're implying."

"as a captain of the knights of favonius, i assure you, i'm implying nothing at all," he said, exhaling sharply and adjusting on his stool. he leaned over towards you before speaking in a quieter tone. "but as jeonghan, i think you know exactly what i'm implying."

you only laughed, recognizing the thinly veiled attempt to worm a secret out of you. "i outgrew those means a long time ago. besides, when mora gets tight, i can always board up with my mother. i like liyue enough."

jeonghan studied you as you drank again. "liyue's home, is it?'

"for her, yes," you said, looking over to him, but you found yourself looking away again when his steely blue gaze met yours. you thought carefully about how much of yourself you were willing to reveal to this stranger, especially considering how important he was in the rule of the city. "she was a wanderer, too, and ended up falling in love with liyue harbor."

jeonghan made note of the way your face softened as you spoke about your mother. "and what about you?"

you met his intent look again, thinking about how his covered eye somehow made him even more intimidating. perhaps that was its purpose. "what about me?"

"what have you fallen in love with?"

a smile crept onto your lips as you processed his question. "oh, archons, what have i not fallen in love with? the smell of the open ocean in inazuma, the breathtaking temples in sumeru - have you ever been to waterfall city?"

jeonghan merely shook his head at you, the corners of his mouth turning upwards as he put his cheek on a fist again, leaning against the bar. "beautiful?"

you exhaled, eyes wide as you thought of the towering falls and the light mist that covered the city, trying to come up with an apt description. "humbling. there's nothing like it."

he watched your expression, head tilting further. "what a wonderful way to describe a place. tell me more."

your gaze went to him, then away briefly, feeling suddenly shy as you noticed his look. "about waterfall city?"

he shrugged a fur covered shoulder, shaking his head lightly. "about anywhere. describe your world, wanderer. i'd like to hear whatever you have to say."

you wondered if the heat that ran through you was because of the alcohol or the man, but you just took another drink and cleared your throat lightly, thinking of more places you had discovered in your travels. you thought of qingce village, one of your favorite places to visit, because the people are kind and welcoming and the fields are so beautiful. you told him about a tea shop owned by an old man - he insisted you call him pops so fiercely that you weren't even sure you had caught his given name - and it was probably the most relaxing cup of tea you ever had.

"it's been a while since i've gone," you sighed. "i think i'm overdue for a chat with pops and his tea."

jeonghan was smiling when you looked at him again. "the tea in liyue is unmatched," he said, reaching for his drink. before taking another sip, he gestured for you to continue.

so you did. you told him about sakura pond, about celestia city, about the volcanic black beaches. you told him liyue had your favorite people, but inazuma had your favorite food. he clicked his tongue at you.

"what about mondstadt? do we have one of your favorites?"

you smiled, genuinely. "sunsets. the night sky is different here than it is anywhere else. i think mondstadt is the closest we can get to the stars without joining the archons."

jeonghan studied you briefly, his blue eye flicking over your face as you finished your drink. "i think that's an apt observation. it seems your eyes are always wide."

"i travel for the views," you exhaled. "i don't plan on missing any."

he thought a second. "have you been to starsnatch cliff?"

your eyes lit up. "not in years," you said, in complete shock that you could have forgotten such a place. you pushed from the bar slightly, turning towards him, and he noticed the flash of a red gem strapped to your right thigh for the first time. "my mother took me there when i was a kid, but i haven't gone since."

"it never gets old," he said, sipping at the end of his drink. "i've yet to see that view and not be in awe."

"i'll go before i leave mondstadt again," you decided.

he looked to you. "when will that be?"

you sighed. "not sure, yet."

he just chuckled. "would you like another drink?"

"oh, no," you said, standing and stretching your spine. "i should make my leave. i don't like sleeping on cots. i just came by to let my ol' pal rube know i was in town again."

jeonghan watched you pull your pack onto your back, grabbing the handle of your sheathed claymore from where it was leaning against the wall next to the bar. "perhaps i'll see you again tomorrow?"

you looked at him, a vague smile on your lips as you strapped your sword back on. "perhaps you will, captain."

"jeonghan," he corrected. "but i don't believe you ever shared your name?"

"that was by design, captain," you said, and he swore he caught a glint in your eye as you bid rubin a farewell and stepped out of the angel's share.

jeonghan spun back around on his stool, immediately looking to rubin. "do you know their name?"

"no, sir," he said, looking at the closed door. "they've never said."

jeonghan's gaze went to the empty glass you had left behind, thinking about your stories, your sword, and the signifier of your vision on your thigh. "fascinating."

you got lucky - sana had a private room for you, and said you were welcome to rent it for your stay. she said not many people were travelling to mondstadt these days, and that more often than not, the adventurer's barracks in headquarters went unused. ever since the fatui had holed up in the grand goth hotel, it had been harder for you to make extended stays in mondstadt, but it seemed that something was telling you to stick around longer than usual. you laid on the hard mattress - a feeling that was more comforting than most, thanks to your continuous travels - and thought of the charming captain that had made a night of questioning you. you wondered if he really had any interest in anything you had to say, or if he had been hoping for details about something pertinent to an investigation.

you packed a lighter bag in the morning, only bringing along the essentials as you set out for your commissions for the day. that afternoon, you wandered around mondstadt and asked questions. questions about the simultaneously well-discussed and mysterious cavalry captain that had listened to your tales of travel, and answers came easier than expected, though they didn't contain all the details you were looking for. that night, you waited up at the angel's share to brag about your newfound knowledge to the captain that never showed, and you did your best to not let that hurt your ego.

the next day, you made a detour on your way back to the city after completing your commissions, stopping by springvale to enjoy a well deserved lunch and catch up with some locals. you sat in the grass with a skewer of grilled meat, watching the windmills of mondstadt steadily spin in the distance as time passed, thinking about how rubin had asked you if you didn't like it here.

you did, you decided. mondstadt felt different than anywhere else you had been. untouched, almost. wilder. freer. despite being born in inazuma, your first memories being in celestia, or your mother being in liyue, mondstadt felt comfortable. felt like a home. you wondered to yourself what that might mean.

sana greeted you happily when you returned much later than you normally did. she told you to go ahead to the guild and come back, filing away your reports and retrieving your rewards. you dropped off your things in your rented room, quickly, practically galloping back down the steps towards the entrance of the city to continue your conversation with the adventurer guilds' mighty receptionist without your sword weighing you down. you crossed your arms on the counter, comfortably lounging as you chatted with her, having always enjoyed her conversations more than most. like rubin, she was a reason mondstadt always felt comfortable.

"fancy meeting you here," an all too familiar voice said, and you pulled your eyes from sana to find jeonghan leaning his side against the counter next to you.

"good evening, cavalry captain!" sana chirped, placing your reward - your room free already removed - on the counter and bowing politely. "can i help you with anything today?"

his icy gaze flickered from your lightly curved lips towards sana. "oh, no, my dear. i'm just coming back from an investigation near springvale"

"interesting," you said, eyeing him. "i was just there and didn't see you."

"i wouldn't be very good at my job if you did, wanderer," he grinned. "knight business, you wouldn't understand. got the assignment yesterday."

"ah," you shifted to your side to face him, making him eye the vision on your thigh. "is that why you never showed? rubin was worried."

he looked you up and down. "rubin was, huh?"

you rolled your eyes and adjusted your posture to face away from his smirk. sana looked between the two of you twice before clearing her throat as quietly as possible, making jeonghan let out a chuckle before he directed his attention to the guild's receptionist.

"how goes holding the post, sana?"

she looked almost frightened when the attention was directed back to her. "good, captain! in fact, one of our most capable adventurers-" she gestured to you, "-just returned from taking care of some of our more difficult commissions - no one else would take them."

jeonghan looked at you. "why did sana have to tell your secret?"

your eyebrows quirked upwards. "what secret?"

"that you're good at this. shouldn't you be bragging?"

a chuckle spilled from your lips, and jeonghan watched you as you looked away. "i'm not the bragging type."

he studied you a moment. "what type are you, then?"

you considered the question, wondering exactly how to answer. what type were you? if not a teller, than surely you must be a shower, but that didn't seem right either. you exhaled. "the quiet type. see you later, sana."

he laughed, pushing off the counter as you tucked your mora into your waist bag, wishing sana a good evening and following you towards the fountain. "you sure talk a lot for being the quiet type."

a smirk landed itself on your lips as he fell into step beside you. "maybe private is a better description."

"that one i can see," jeonghan said, looking over to you. he thought of how you had spent nearly an hour telling him about the best views in teyvat, yet he still didn't know the most basic information about you. "do you share your name with anyone?"

you thought. "my mother."

he scoffed. "anyone else?"

you looked to the sky. "rubin."

"wrong," he retorted. "he doesn't know your name, either."

you laughed, looking over to him as you came up to the fountain, spinning and sitting back on the ledge. "you asked?"

"of course i asked," he said, planting one foot on the ledge beside you and placing his arms on his knee. "i asked other people, too. almost everyone knows you, but they don't know anything about you. bits and pieces, but never the full picture."

you just smiled up at him from your relaxed posture on the concrete. "what's wrong with a little intrigue?"

he just smiled back at you. "nothing. i tend to keep a bit myself. did you know there's a large number of people in this city that were shocked when i said you wield a claymore?"

you hummed, dipping the tips of your fingers into the fountain. "did you know there's a large number of people in this city that consider you the most eligible bachelor in not only mondstadt, but in all of teyvat?"

his lips parted slightly as you spoke. "so you snooped, too."

"i was bored yesterday. it wasn't hard," you exhaled. you flicked a drop of water towards his foot. "jeonghan yoon, the cavalry captain of the knights of favonius since he was only nineteen. who loves wine and whose adopted brother runs the biggest winery in teyvat, yet they're hardly ever seen speaking. who comes from a far off land on a different continent, but has come to love mondstadt like it was his home. who wears an eyepatch but has never told anyone why."

he chuckled at the assessment and pulled his foot off the ledge to sit beside you. "so when do i get to learn about you?"

"i told you about me yesterday," you said.

"you told me about teyvat," he corrected. "and while i was able to infer some things about your character, i still know close to nothing about you."

you thought for a moment, realizing no one had ever noticed how little you truly shared despite always being willing to tell stories. "sometimes it feels like i am teyvat. it's hard to think of things that are just about me."

"you could start with that vision," he said, nodding at the strap across your thigh. you looked down at it, exhaling.

"what's there to tell? you know what it means, and that's more teyvat than me, too."

he leaned back on a hand, looking you up and down in curiosity. "how old were you."

you chewed your cheek. "fourteen. you?"

his lip quirked upwards. "sixteen."

you bumped his shoulder with yours playfully. "beat you."

he laughed. "how'd it happen?"

you paused. "you go first."

he just chuckled and looked away, watching a dog wander past the general store. "another day, then."

"no fun," you sighed, brushing your hands together as you leaned forward. "what about the eyepatch?"

he met your eyes, mouth slanted in a smirk. "another day."

you clicked your tongue. "if you wanna learn about me, you have to be willing to give up some details, too. i value a fair trade."

"then stop asking questions that you know i won't share the answer to." jeonghan noticed the color of the sky, then suddenly pulled a pocket watch out, checking it quickly to confirm that there was enough time and stood. "come with me?"

you stared up at him. "where?"

he grinned, extending a hand to help you to your feet. "you said mondstadt's sunsets were your favorite, correct?"

you generally weren't prone to following mysterious men into back corridors, but jeonghan easily convinced you with no words at all that sneaking around the sight line of the acting grand master was completely normal behavior, sushing you with a grin as you giggled, taking refuge around a corner after the two of you made it up to the second floor of the favonius headquarters. he tugged your hand with his, pulling you into a steep maintenance staircase behind a door.

"this feels like it's against some rules," you said, climbing the stairs behind him.

"nonsense," he said, looking back at you and grinning. "are you suggesting that a knight of favonius would break rules just to impress a mysterious traveler?"

you laughed quietly, wondering if he really meant that he wanted to impress you. "not most, but maybe this one."

he only thought for a split second. "if anyone asks, we're on official knight business."

he opened the door and you found the sky again, beginning to glow orange as the edge of the sun began to hide behind the cliffs. you stared in awe at the way the few fluffy clouds reflected pink and gold, then readjusted your focus when jeonghan spoke again.

"i hope you aren't afraid of heights," he said, walking over to the parapets that surrounded you. "the best view requires a bit of a climb."

you looked up at the tower, and while it wasn't much higher than where you stood, you also recognized that you were well above most of mondstadt already. "you climb up there?"

he paused, studying you. "we don't have to, we can just sit on a merlon-"

"no, we can climb," you said, walking over to where he was and eyeing the small gap between the parapet and the adjacent roof. "hop over?"

he laughed, stepping over the gap and holding a hand out for you. "watch your step."

and though you didn't need it, you accepted the hand anyways, and it stayed on yours as you walked over the roof to the tower, as if making sure you didn't misstep several stories in the air.

"would you like to go first?" he asked. "i'll catch you if you fall."

you rolled your eyes at him, dropping your hand from his grip. "you go first. i want to see where the handholds are."

he just grinned at you. "very well," he said, tugging on the wrists of his fingerless gloves to make sure they were taught against his skin before taking hold of a brick. you watched him as he took foothold after foothold, and he resisted the urge to show off by speedily scaling the wall in favor of making sure you had the chance to see where he gripped. when he reached the opening in the tower, he pulled himself up and spun around, exhaling with a grin as he seated himself at the ledge with his legs dangling above you.

"your turn."

you adjusted your waist bag as you sighed in amused annoyance, spinning it to be behind you and out of your hips' way to climb the wall. it wasn't much - a couple meters, maybe - and you had definitely climbed further, but jeonghan's presence made you slightly nervous. that nervousness, however, just fueled you to prove yourself.

you scaled the wall easily, making jeonghan whistle and jokingly call you some kind of adventurer, and your only hesitation came when his hand was in your face. despite your initial inclination to ignore it, you put your left hand in his, allowing him to help you pull yourself up on the ledge and sit beside him.

"impressive," he commented.

you laughed, brushing off your hands. "you, too."

"c'mon," he said, gesturing his head over his shoulder before making moves to stand. "the view's on the other side."

you sighed, looking over the view of mondstadt shrouded in golden light as he stood and walked to the other ledge. "never a moment of rest with you."

"if you want to miss the sunset, be my guest."

you leaned back on your hands and laughed, pulling your gaze away from the city to look at where jeonghan had seated himself on the other end of the tower, and subsequently the view of the rolling hills beyond him that were glowing golden in the evening sun. you blinked for a second, realizing you hadn't seen the sunset the night before, and quickly got to your feet to join him before you missed this one, too.

he gave you a soft smile when you sat beside him, and you briefly wondered how many he had in his repertoire. the wind was stronger higher, whipping gently through his hair and alleviating any uncomfortable warmth you may have had from exerting yourself on the way up. you watched the dregs of sunlight skip across the grassy hills and the sky turn deep orange and bright pink, feet swinging lightly over the edge of the tower.

"i was fighting with my brother," he said suddenly, causing you to look at him with a start before you realized he was telling you about his vision. there was a slight smile on his face as he looked out on the fields. "hyungwon. it was bad. he already had his - he's a pyro, like you - and we were both young and stupid and just lost our dad. we were sword fighting and it came to me when i needed it. it probably saved my life, honestly."

you blinked at him. "you think he would have killed you?'

he exhaled, leaning back on his hands. "i think if the roles had been reversed, i would have tried to kill him, too. i'm grateful it didn't go that way, though." he coughed abruptly, clearing his throat. "we're on speaking terms, and i do love him as a brother, but i generally avoid him."

you let that thought ruminate as you watched the sun sink, halfway beyond the horizon. "my father was in a gang in inazuma, but my mom ran away when she found out she was pregnant. didn't want to raise a kid in that world, i guess? we ran into him when i got older and he wasn't very understanding." you paused, remembering the detail too well. "they were going to take her vision. that's what they did to traitors. probably take me, too. they weren't expecting me to start setting fires."

jeonghan's gaze was on you as yours was on the horizon. "just a couple of survivors."

you looked over at him, a smirk on your lips. "a couple?"

he laughed waving at your implication, thinking he would have said the same thing in an attempt to fluster you just as you were to him. "like, more than one and less than four."

you only laughed back. "fortune favors the weak, i suppose. the archons saw we needed help and extended a fig branch."

"is that what it was?" he asked, a laugh on his lips. "we were both fighting people. that's hardly an offer of peace."

"look for the deeper meaning, jeonghan. we were fighting for our lives," you pointed out, and he realized it was the first time you had addressed him by his name rather than his title. "i was fighting for family. for freedom. is that not the greatest pursuit of peace?"

he watched you as you pulled your knees to your chest, putting your feet on the edge of the stonework surface you sat on. he studied the way the golden rays lit your skin and made your eyes sparkle. "i suppose so."

you paused in that moment for a long while, and jeonghan allowed the comfortable silence as the two of you watched the sun disappear beyond the cliffs of mondstadt. the sky was turning a deep shade of purple when you told him your name, and jeonghan thought that it was quite possibly the best news he had ever received, but he kept that joy to himself as he confirmed your name, and you rolled your eyes.

"are you gonna answer my other question now?"

he scoffed. "about the eyepatch? is it really that interesting?"

"not any more interesting than my name," you retorted.

"completely untrue," jeonghan insisted. "i've never been so excited to be told a secret, and i get told a lot of secrets."

you eyed his smile warily. "my name may be unknown, but it's no secret."

he sighed and shook his head lightly. "you really wanna know the reason i wear it? it's probably not as dramatic as you're hoping."

"yet you hide it?"

he laughed. "what's wrong with a little intrigue?"

you looked away, recognizing the parrot of your own words. "whatever you say, captain."

"no!" he whined and grabbed your arm, making you start and look at him with big eyes. "you just started calling me jeonghan, don't go back to captain."

you stared at him, only breaking to laugh, dropping your legs over the edge again. "you won't show me what's under the eyepatch, so i thought we weren't on first name basis."

his hand on your bicep was warm and gentle, but his gaze was piercing as he thought it over for a bit longer. you did your best to hold it, but you felt yourself shrinking when he quietly muttered, "go on, then."

it took you a second to register what he meant, and you reached out slowly, fingers hesitating before they brushed upon his cheekbone. jeonghan closed his eyes, resigning to your touch as you gently lifted the eyepatch. his eyes opened again, slowly, and you thought your heart might have skipped a beat.

"like chocolate," you commented, and a smile spread across his lips.

"that's the kindest reaction i've gotten."

your fingers fell upon his temple, brushing down gently as you inspected his singular brown eye. "since birth?"

he nodded, his eyes flicking down to your lips briefly before he spoke. "heterochromia. it's a characteristic of my family."

you studied his face. "not the one here?"

he sighed. "not the one here."

the icy blue of jeonghan's eye had always struck something in you. it made him mysterious. commanding. it felt like he saw more than you despite having one eye covered. but now, you felt warm. you felt his gentleness. there was comfort hidden away behind that black patch, and you told him that you understood why the cavalry captain had chosen to hide the eye he did.

but to you, he was willing to show anything that would keep you around longer, he said.

"why me?" you asked, studying his expression when he looked away. the sun had retreated behind the hills, leaving the sky a deep blue.

jeonghan didn't respond right away, and you wondered if he himself even knew the answer. "we're birds of a feather, you and i."

you looked out to the view again, watching the subtle movements of the wild hills. "did you travel much before you came here?"

"it was all i knew," he told you. "i was thirteen when my father left me here."

your neck snapped, your eyes on his profile when he leaned back on his hands. "left you?"

he almost laughed, a smile on his lips when his eyes met yours. "i was slowing him down, i suppose. hyungwon's father found me and took me in."

"so you stayed?"

"i didn't always want to," he assured you. "i had the itch to leave for years. as soon as i was able, i always told myself." he paused, eyes dropping. "then father died. then hyungwon turned down his position with the knights. and i was their second choice."

you pursed your lips. "you stayed for a job."

he laughed. "it's not that simple."

you smiled at him, enjoying the warmth of his eyes on yours as the sky cooled. "are you sure we're birds of a feather?"

"listen," he said, getting off his hands and brushing them off on his thighs. "i accepted the job so that i could set the story straight. i didn't want to run from the people that believed that hyungwon tried to kill me to avenge our father."

you studied him. "i'm sorry."

"don't be," he said, nudging your shoulder. "i was still planning on leaving, but then i fell in love."

you looked away, trying to sort out the way your stomach flipped. "are they still around?"

"not with a person," he laughed, then nodded towards the now dark hills. "with the views. besides, i get free reign whenever i leave for missions. i have fun adventuring, and come home to the best sunsets in teyvat. there are worse places to call home."

your eyes scanned the horizon, remembering the brilliant rays of sun you had just seen skip across it. "that is tempting."

"how tempting?" he asked.

you thought on that for a moment. "almost as much as a death after noon right now."

jeonghan laughed, slightly proud that he had hooked you on his favorite drink. "shall we go see rubin, then?"

you hummed, smiling at the captain. "as long as i don't have to sit alone again."

"that's a promise," he told you as he stood, holding out a hand that you took without hesitation, though he withheld his intention to make sure you were never alone again.

[silkling]

Hi! I remember you said you liked angst. So... Can you write another fanfic on the AU where the rescue bots were found by the Autobots, with the following plot: Blades is forced to repair one of his comrades, who was seriously injured in battle?(either Chase or Heatwave, your choice) 👀

Ooh, I like this idea! Imma do it. I’m going to make it worse though. Just because. Apparently I really like hurting my favorite characters. Go figure, huh? Also, for those who didn’t read the first, this fic is in the same verse as this one.

Also, beware that there will be descriptions of graphic injury, so be wary if that’s something that upsets you.

———————————————————————————————————

The stars were silent. They always were, of course, but during the Ark’s recharge cycle the silence was all-consuming. Blades was in the rec room, sitting in the little viewport alcove that took up a small portion of the wall. They were passing by the same star system where the Sigma had been found by the Autobots, all those stellar cycles ago. 5 vorns or so had passed since then, which felt both like an eternity and like no time at all.

Blades knew Cybertronians lived a long time. In reality, 5 vorns was barely any time at all for one of their kind. But for Blades, who had once only ever known what it was to save lives, the past 5 vorns that he’d spent learning to take them had dragged on and felt almost unbearably long. He hadn’t actually killed yet, but he’d already learned how do so with a blaster, how to do it by hand, and even how to get in close and use a blade. Apparently, he was particularly talented at that last one. Given his name, the Protectobot found it rather ironic.

“Blades? What are you doing up? You do not have any duties this night cycle.”

The motorcycle startled, his engine revving and his processor snapping to attention at the unexpected voice. He hadn’t killed any bot yet, but he’d been in many, many, many battles now, some of which still gave him nightmares. He’d developed battle protocols very quickly after joining the Autobots, and now took being surprised as poorly as most of the others did. His optics sharpened and focused on his unexpected visitor with unnerving intensity, before his sighed and relaxed, tense armor plating loosening once more.

“Chase.” he greeted. “I know. I couldn’t sleep. I was remembering that last battle.”

“Ah.” Here, his friend’s voice softened, and the blue and white bot walked over to join him. He nudged the slimmer youngling aside until there was room in the small alcove for them both, sitting opposite from his friend and letting their pedes entangle. “I understand now.”

And he did. The last battle had been fought on a young planet, one with plentiful energon mines, and where the local species were still primitive. It had been a difficult fight. Blades, like always, had fought on the front lines with Hot Spot, Groove and Streetwise. Chase and Heatwave had been nearby, too. Somehow, they always found themselves fighting near each other. As with most of their battles, Boulder and First Aid had remained behind at the Ark, away from the battle proper. It hadn’t been a very unique battle, at first. Then the Deceptions had unveiled a new weapon. It had destroyed the planet, and every life that called it home had died with it. The Autobots had been too late to realize what was going on. They hadn’t been able to stop it, only flee before they too fell to the new weapon.

Blades had taken it particularly hard. The small motorcycle was a deeply empathetic bot, and it had hurt him to know they they had brought their war to another planet, and that it had resulted in the destruction of that planet and the loss of the lives there. Chase couldn’t blame him. All of Sigma-17 had felt that loss particularly hard. For all they had become soldiers after being awoken from stasis, all four younglings were still Rescue Bots at spark.

“We will simply have to stop Megatron next time and destroy his weapon before he can ever use it again.” Chase said after a moment of silence. He knew Blades wouldn’t be reassured by useless platitudes.

“Yeah.” His voice was quiet, distant. “Yeah.” he repeated, sounding a little more present as his optics hardened. “We will. He can’t do that again.”

Blades turned to meet his friend’s gaze, chin lifting. “We won’t let him do that again.”

Chase smiled, nodding. “No, we will not.” he agreed.

Blades relaxed completely then, sighing and shifting until he could lean into Chase’s chest. “Thank you, Chase.” he whispered.

“Of course.” he said, his arms coming around to press the smaller bot to his chest. “I will always be there to support you, when you have need of it. I am your Amica, after all.”

That was another thing that had changed in the past few vorns. Blades and Chase had always been fairly close, since they found they balanced each other out quiet nicely. Even before stasis, they’d been close friends. Blades appreciated Chase’s calm, peaceful logic and found it helped bring him him back from some of his nervous breakdowns, and Chase found Blades’s natural easy-going and sociable demeanor soothing and helpful at understanding situations which normally gave him pause. It had only taken them a couple vorns after coming out of stasis to formally perform the ritus and become Amica Endura.

Blades laughed, his hands raising to curl across the arms pressed to his chestplate. “Yeah, you are. And I’m yours. You can always count on me, Chase.”

A small smiled tugged at his lips, and he turned his gaze to the stars outside the viewport, in his chest, his spark pulsed, warm and fond with affection and belonging. He knew that Blades was feeling the same right now, both younglings basking in the quiet peace and comfort of each others’ presence.

“I know.”

Outside the Ark, the vast expanse of space stretched on. The billions of stars shone brightly, and life moved ever forward. Time ticked on, and though this moment was calm and soft, there would be many moments to come that would not be. What the future held exactly, only Primus knew. All his children could do now was hold on and ride out the storms to come.

——————————

When it finally happened, Blades would later reflect that he was surprised it had taken as long as it had. But then again, First Aid and Ratchet would probably have done their best to keep it from happening, to make sure his own emotional turmoil wouldn’t cause him to falter. They couldn’t stall it forever though, because this was War and at the end of it all that only meant he would have been forced into a situation like this eventually.

The orn had stared out like most other orns. The only difference has been that the Ark had landed on a planet that apparently was fairly rich in energon. The planet was also largely uninhabited, save some plant life, so they wouldn’t have to worry too much about harming the local inhabitants. Everything had been going well. They’d managed to collect energon, enough to halfway fill one of the storage hangars, and had been in the process of mining more when the Decepticon attacked.

Blades still wasn’t sure where they’d come from. Maybe they’d landed the Nemesis on the other side in the planet and travelled the rest of the way themselves. Maybe the Nemesis was still above them all, and the ‘Cons had just made planet fall on their own in order to attack. Either way, Megatron and his soldiers had showed up, and once again a battle had begun. Blades hadn’t been near his team or his brothers when the attack had begun, so he hadn’t been able to join them for the fight. That had made him nervous, but he’d fought anyway, shooting at any Decepticons who got close and using the terrain as cover.

It hadn’t been long before there’d been a call for medical attention, and Blades had reacted on instinct. He’d sprung from behind the large stone he was hiding behind, following the call until he came across Cliffjumper and Arcee. The other two-wheeler was unconscious, a shot leaking energon from her neck. Blades had been quick to get Cliffjumper’s help to drag her behind another nearby outcropping, and he’d settled down to begin triage care. As soon as he’d been assured of her survival, he’d swiftly ordered the red mech to bring her to the med-bay. Usually, he didn’t have the rank to order other bots around, but he’d found that all the Autobots would tend to do what he told them when it came to medical matters.

He’d turned to rejoin the battle when Sunstreaker had dragged his twin around the outcropping, dropping Sideswipe with a snarled demand to fix him. Blades hadn’t taken offense. They were split spark twins. They shared a spark bond with each other, like he did with his brothers. It wasn’t the same exact type of bond, but it was close enough that he understood the panic. He’d fixed the severed fuel lines, patched up the sparking wires, and welded the gashes in red armor before telling Sunstreaker to get his brother out of the battlefield. Sideswipe wouldn’t be able to fight further with his wounds, even though Blades had managed to repair the damage completely. He’d need to recover.

It had seemed that, after that, the Autobots must have figured out that the outcropping was where emergency triage was being done. They’d probably passed the information along their comm. system while Blades had been working on Arcee. After the Twins, Blades had found himself busy with many bots. Most had only surface level wounds, injuries that needed a quick patch so they could rejoin the fight. Others needed a full field repair and a retreat, like Sideswipe had. Blaster had been dragged to him by his Cassettes in critical condition, and Blades had had to quickly patch the life threatening damage, then order Ironhide, who’d come in to get a leaking fuel line patched, to take the host mech to Ratchet and First Aid immediately.

Once he’d done that and turned to his next field patient, he’d caught sight of blue and white armor. His processor was deep in its rescue and medical protocols, so much so he initially tuned out all his surroundings. It wasn’t until something in the back of his mind whispered that the shade of blue was familiar that he paused, taking in the full extent of the damage. It was bad. The bot’s chest was the worst off. It looked like they’d been hit point blank with an explosion. The metal armor of the chestplate was melted and twisted, with large areas gone altogether. Blades could see into their chest and realized that even their internals were damaged. The fuel pump was dented and had been pierced with a shard of blue armor, there were several sparking wires and spurting lines, and worst of all, the bot’s spark chamber was caved in and cracked. The motorcycle could see the weak glow of the bot’s spark. That wasn’t even all the damage. The poor bot was missing a leg, and it looked like one of their arms had been practically shredded. Even beyond that, most of the bot’s frame was dented or damaged in some way. Blades could barely pick out the paint job under all the damage.

Even so, his processor started screaming louder as he realized that, despite all that, the colors and patterns of that paint were familiar. Blades froze, his spark almost spasming with dawning horror, and he turned his gaze up to the bot’s face. As soon as he locked onto the slack face, saw the darkened optics that he knew should be a glowing amber, he couldn’t hold back the agonized keen as his medical protocols stuttered.

It was Chase.

His next vent came out in a harsh whine, and he couldn’t take his optics off the slack face of his Amica. Blades almost jumped when a hand landed on his shoulder, and he looked up to see Jazz looking at him with a grim expression. The Third in Command nodded his helm at the prone form of his teammate.

“I know it’s tough’.” he said. “But ya gotta take care o’ him. If he don’t get the care he needs now, he ain’t gonna survive the trip to old’ Ratch. He needs you, mechlin’, so don’t spiral now.”

Blades stared at him for a sparkbeat, and then jolted as if he’d been physically shocked. He turned back to Chase, trying to ignore that it was his Amica who was wounded and dying in front of him, and got to work. He took in the damage once more, fingertips transforming into the tools he needed, and with a hard vent he forced his emotional processes to mute themselves in his processor, letting medical response protocols rise to the surface uninterrupted. Abruptly, his previously distraught EM field went blank and numb, making the bots around him wince with the suddenness if it.

Jazz stepped back, a flicker of regret in his visored optics. He recognized what Blades had done. He’d shut down his emotional response core. It wasn’t something the average bot could do, and he suspected the youngling only knew how to because of his medical training. The only other bot he’d seen do that was Prowl, and the Praxian had to do it if he wanted to come up with his tactics without crippling himself emotionally. Luckily, the emotional core could be brought back online later, but he knew it was never a pleasant process for the bot who had done so to come out of the emotional numbness. He only regretted that Blades had found it necessary to do so in the first place. No youngling should have to do something so drastic. It wasn’t right.

In front of Jazz and the other Autobots who were gathered behind the outcropping for minor repair, Blades worked on. He ignored the sounds of weapons fire and destruction beyond the small safe haven he was huddled in, focusing only on the task in front of him. He had to make sure Chase survived. He had to.

Failure wasn’t an option.

——————————

The rest of the orn passed in a haze. Blades was aware of things distantly, but wasn’t processing anything emotionally. He knew Jazz took Chase off to the Ark as soon as he’d ensured his friend wouldn’t die in the next few groons, until Ratchet or First Aid could get to him. After that, things happened quickly. He’d patched up the other bots around his outcropping who’d only needed minor repair, but he’d had no major patients after that. And then Megatron was calling a retreat, and Ironhide had come to guide Blades back to the Ark. None of the older bots seemed upset at the two-wheeler’s numb demeanor. He was in shock. He knew it. They knew it. They didn’t hold it against him.

Once he had been safely delivered to the starship, Ironhide had gone off. Blades wasn’t paying attention to where he’d gone. Maybe some of the others were gathering the last of the energon. Maybe everyone was preparing for take off. He wasn’t fully aware, wasn’t fully processing his surroundings. He drifted along in a haze, until he found himself in front of the medbay doors. That was when his focus sharpened. Usually after a battle, he’d join Ratchet and his brother in the medbay and do his part to help. He needed to go in.

The only thing making him hesitate was Chase. His Amica was in there. He’d done all he could on the battlefield, but had it been enough? Could he face it again?

He would have to. He stiffened his spinal strut and steeled his resolve, then stepped forward and the doors opened. He stepped into the medbay, his optics roving over the occupied berths, until they landed on a trio of berths by the far wall. On one, there was a familiar blue and white frame. Chase. On the second, a red mech lay prone and limp. Heatwave. On the third, a bulky green bot was resting on his side, unconscious and unaware. Boulder.

No.

Blades’s spark screamed in agony. He could see some of the damage from here, but he couldn’t see it all. Heatwave’s lower half looked like it had been crushed under something extremely heavy. The metal armor was dented and almost flattened. Blades could also see that the red mech’s optics were blackened and shattered, if if they’d been hit by a blaster bolt. Boulder wasn’t much better off. His entire back was a melted, twisted mess. Blades could see his spinal strut poking out of the ruined armor. There was so much energon. All three of his teammates were covered in it. It almost looked like they’d decided to incorporate pink into their paint jobs.

An agonized keen tore its way free from his vocalizer, and and medical protocols he had been ready to engage fell away under the onslaught of emotional anguish. He didn’t notice how First Aid had gasped and pressed a hand to his chest plates the second he’d noticed Sigma-17’s damaged states. He didn’t hear his brother call out to him in concern as he keened. He didn’t see Ratchet curse and begin to turn towards him, looking both irritated and worried.

He did, however, feel the hands that clasped his shoulders, the chest that pressed up against his back. He startled, drawing in a rasping gasp, and then he felt a soft warmth wrap around his spark. He knew that presence.

“Streetwise.” he whimpered, twisting to stare up at his oldest brother with wide, over-bright optics.

“Hey, Blades.” Streetwise gave him a small smile. “Let’s go, yeah?”

“B-But I have to stay. I need-“

“Ratchet and ‘Aid can handle it. This was an easy battle. They handled a lot worse than this before you came along.” he cut it. “You won’t be of any use in the state you’re in, Blades. Besides, I’m fairly sure it goes against medical code to come in and treat patients when you’re covered in filth from outside.” he said sternly.

Blades made to protest, but the soothing pulse in his spark from First Aid distracted him enough that Streetwise was able to guide him out of the medbay. He started gently ushering his brother towards the communal washracks, making sure Blades didn’t run into anyone in his shocked state.

“Streetwise, I gotta go back. They need me, I-I can’t-“

“None of that now. You did plenty today. Blades, let them handle it. Your well-being matters too. Right now, that’s actually all I care about. Your team will be fine. Have faith in Ratchet and ‘Aid, yeah?”

Blades whimpered, but he didn’t have the chance to argue further because that was when they came upon the washracks. Hot Spot was there, and he grimaced when he saw the state of his brother, but he forced a smile a moment later and reached out to rub Blades’s audial fins in a way he knew the smaller bot liked. The finial under his fingers quivered faintly, and Hot Spot wrapped a hand around Blades’s wrist to tug him into the washracks. He’d managed to get the others out earlier, and they’d been fairly understanding when he’d explained that Blades was in shock and needed a proper cleaning.

“Come on, bitty Blades.” The largest Protectobot whispered. “Let’s get you cleaned up, yeah? You’re covered in energon, that can’t feel good.”

Blades went stiff at his brother’s words, looking down at his frame and noticing for the first time that his armor was covered in energon. Chase’s energon. A pained whine was pulled from his vocalizer, and Hot Spot winced when he realized he’d said the wrong thing.

Streetwise shot the bigger bot an unimpressed look, but both knew that talking to Blades now would be useless. The smallest Protectobot, though not by too much, had always been prone to worry and panic. Blades was an anxious bot, it was just part of who he was. It meant that sometimes, his worry overcame him and he spiraled. His brothers could always tell when that happened, because his spark pulsed almost frantically and they could sense the overwhelming panic through the bond. When Blades got like this, he lost awareness of his surroundings. They’d long since learned that the best way to soothe him was to use the bond and send comfort and safety along it, to wrap their brother’s spark in feelings of love and reassurance and peace, and pull him out of his panic that way. Thankfully, Blades didn’t spiral often. He was overly nervous, sure, but he’d never let it stop him from doing what was needed of him, and he’d learned to not let it control him. That didn’t mean his emotions didn’t get the better of him sometimes, though.

Hot Spot gently tugged them all over to one of the cubicles, where he’d already grabbed the items they needed. With all three of them in there, it was a little crowded, but they could make it work. The spray of solvent was turned on, and Blades barely twitched as it hit his frame. Neither Streetwise nor Hot Spot were bothered as their younger brother remained silent. They worked together to clean up the mess that was Blades, using wash rags to wipe away the dirt and energon, and then smaller brushes to get in between the armor plating and into the transformation seams. It took some time, especially with Blades so unresponsive, but eventually they had him fully cleaned and dried, and were tugging him back towards their berthroom.

Blades himself was still in a daze. The energon was gone from his armor, and that certainly helped, but he couldn’t stop thinking of his teammates in such dire condition in the medbay. He couldn’t get the image of Chase’s broken frame on the battlefield out of his processor.

Blades was a gentle spark, perhaps even more so than his easy-going flyer brother. Groove was a pacifist, and Blades was deeply empathetic and his brothers knew that he felt things on an emotional level far more keenly than they were really able to grasp. The rest of the Protectobots had been able to adapt to the War, especially since their introduction to it had been more gradual. But Blades, who had always hated seeing anyone hurt, to the point he’d taken any extra classes he could at the Rescue Academy just to be able to help as many others as he could? The War was hard on him. He’d adapt, in time, but with how sudden his introduction to it had been it would be a while yet before the violence stopped making him so upset.

The trio eventually arrived at their berthroom, and when the door closed behind them Blades felt Streetwise and Hot Spot move away from him. A klik later, he felt another frame press against him, and a pair of arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders. It took only a beat for him to recognize Groove. He whimpered, his fingers twitching and clinging to the copter bot. Blades felt soothing warmth wrap around his spark from the bond, coming from all four of his brothers. Love, warmth, assurance, and peace soaked into his spark, and Blades let out a broken noise as everything from the day crashed into him.

Groove crooned gently, tightening his grip on his younger brother. “Easy, Blades.” he whispered. “We have you. We won’t let you fall, yeah? Just let it out.” he soothed.

Blades shuddered, then sobbed and clung tighter to his brother. He felt Streetwise press up against his back, and Hot Spot’s arms came to way around them all. The four of them stood there for a while, Blades sobbing and gasping as all his panic and worry rushed through him at once. He hadn’t been able to really process it, before. That was the danger of muting ones emotional core, as he had done earlier. It meant that he’d need to handle the emotions he’d blocked off all at once instead of steadily and as they came. So, he was forced to stay in his brothers’ hold, letting them keep him from falling as everything crashed into him. For many breems, he wept into Groove’s shoulder, his own shoulders shaking with the force of what he was feeling.

But, finally, his cries petered out, and then he was just venting harshly, shaking faintly in the aftermath of it all. He felt Hot Spot smooth a hand down his side, then come back up to rub his finial before his biggest brother spoke.

“How about we watch some of that old drama we used to like before the War? We still have the whole series downloaded on the old travel holo-pad. I know you missed a lot of the episodes that came out while you were in stasis, bitty Blades.” he said.

Blades reset his vocalizer, wincing at his staticky and rough his voice was even after doing so. “You have the whole series of But a Chance?”

Streetwise hummed. “You bet we do. We kept downloading the new episodes that came out after…” he paused, trailing off. Blades knew what he was talking about. “Well, we kept downloading the new ones. Never watched them, though. Not beyond the ones that came out before them Purge.”

“Didn’t feel right. Not without you there to make all your little comments.” Hot Spot quipped.

Blades huffed a weak sound of amusement. “You still watched some without me, though.”

“Awe, only a couple, bitty Blades.” Hot Spot smiled. “Not too many. So? What do you say?”

Blades gave another huff. “Yeah.” he agreed,

“Good, because I’ve already got it set up.” Groove said cheerfully.

“Presumptuous.” Streetwise teased.

“Shut it. You’re the one who told me to prepare for a Blades Cheer Up Night.” Groove snipped back.

“We all knew it was time for a Blades Cheer Up Night. Why are you sparklings arguing?” Hot Spot asked playfully.

“I’m older than you.” Streetwise said, frowning.

“Only by half a breem.” Hot Spot sang.

“And I’m not a sparkling!” Groove protested.

“Hush, little brother.” the two older Protectobots said at the same time.

Blades giggled weakly. “Yeah, hush. The big bots are talking.” he rasped.

Groove turned an offended look on him. “We’re all older than you. And bigger.” he sniffed.

“I’m prettier though.”

There were noises of outrage around him, and Blades felt his lips quirk up. Even as Hot Spot tweaked his finial in retaliation, he just felt his smile relax a little more. His spark was still heavy with grief and fear, but already it felt warmer and lighter. He didn’t protest as Streetwise eventually got the other two to simmer down, pushing them all towards the large berth. At the head of the berth, the holo-pad was set up on a small desk. As soon as all four brothers were settled, Groove started the episode Blades remembered having left off on, and they settled down to watch.

Things were peaceful, for a while. They got another episode in, and Blades couldn’t help himself then as he watched the characters go about on screen.

“I’m sorry, Clearview did what now? That’s stupid. She’s stupid. Why would she even do that?”

“Well,” Groove purred. “It could be because she’s actually-“

“No!” Blades hissed, drawing back a pede and planting it firmly in his brother’s hip, sending the flyer tumbling off the berth. “No spoilers!”

Groove cackled, but crawled back onto the berth and flopped on top of his younger brother. “Okay, okay. Have it your way.”

“You two are being far too loud for anyone else to enjoy to show.” Streetwise said blandly.

“Blame Groove.” Blades sniffed. “He started it.”

“You’re the one who kicked me!” Groove squawked, outraged.

“I will not be spoiled! Bots who spoil the show for other bots recharge on the couch, remember? That’s the rule!”

“Well, we don’t have a couch.” Groove said smugly. “So there.”

“We have a floor, don’t we?”

“I’m not recharging on the floor!”

“You are if I make you!”

“Try it!”

“Fine!” Blades huffed, and proceeded to launch himself at his brother.

Groove yelped, not expecting Blades to actually go through with it, and the two wrestled on the berth before their elder brothers pulled them apart. Streetwise grabbed Groove and rolled on top of him, while Hot Spot dragged Blades into his lap and wrapped the motorcycle in his arms.

“Hush.” he admonished. “It’s show time now, not wrestle like feral sparklings time.”

“We’re not sparklings!” Groove and Blades protested in unison.

“Then stop acting like it. Now shut up and watch.” Streetwise said, though they could all hear the grin in his voice.

There were grumbling protests, but the two younger bots obeyed and went still. After another couple episodes, they were released to drape across each other. Time wore on, and the Ark slipped into it’s nightly recharge cycle. By this time, Blades’s brothers were in recharge themselves, curled around and on top of each other while Blades himself continued to watch the drama. He was waiting, after all.

Another groon passed, and the door to their berthroom opened. First Aid trudged in, exhaustion hanging from his frame. He went straight for the berth, tipping right into it and not even bothering to get his legs in. Blades huffed a laugh, gently tugging his younger brother up into the berth. He reached out to turn off the holo-pad, then refocused on First Aid as the youngest Protectobot cuddled firmly into his side. He knew his brother was tired. Pit, he could feel the depths of First Aid’s exhaustion over the bond. But he had to know.

“‘Aid? Are they…?”

“They’re fine.” First Aid mumbled. “They’ll make a full recovery. You don’t have to worry, Blades.”

All at once, the last of the fear and worry left him, and Blades released all tension in his frame with a heavy vent. “Thank you.” he whispered.

First Aid hummed softly. “‘Course. They took care of you when we couldn’t. I won’t let you lose your team if I can help it, Blades. ‘Specially not your Amica.” he mumbled, his words slurring towards the end.

Blades smiled, his arms wrapping around the little medic as First Aid nuzzled into his embrace. “Yeah.” he murmured. They really had taken care of him. “Recharge, ‘Aid. You need it.”

“You too.”

“I will.” Blades agreed. “Goodnight, little brother.”

“‘Night.” First Aid made a sleepy, content churring noise. “Love you…”

Blades blinked, then tightened his grip around him. “Yeah.” he whispered. “Love you too.”

He watched his youngest brother drift off into recharge, then offlined his optics ans let himself drift off as well. Just before he fell unconscious, he felt Groove roll on top of them both, and Hot Spot’s arms coming around all three of them. From the other side of the largest Protectobot, Streetwise’s hand came to rest on Blades’s head, his thumb twitching against his finial.

Comfortable and warm, his frame and spark both surrounded by the peace and love of his brothers, Blades drifted off into recharge, his rest easy and quiet with the reassurance that his Amica and his team would recover. His spark was warm with the sheer joy, adoration, and contentment that pulsed all along the bond, and his rest was easy and undisturbed.

Beyond the walls of the Ark, the stars were silent.

———————————————————————————————————

And here it is! What did y’all think? For those who don’t remember, the Purge that Streetwise mentioned was the massacre of the Rescue Bots.

Also, poor Blades. He has it rough. At least he’s not alone, right?

Let me know how you liked that! If you want more of this verse, I might expand on it after I take care of more prompts. (Or you could request a specific scenario yourself.)

Until next time, folks!

[willadisastercry]

Lance ignores his asthma and Coran is not willing to be an accomplice pt. 2

It’s a race against the clock as Lance’s lungs worsen and his team scrambles to come up with a remedy before it’s too late. And though this whole mess certainly could’ve been avoided had he been upfront about his situation to begin with, his team will have to save the scolding for when Lance can focus on something other than the pain of trying to force air into his rapidly constricting airways. Altean technology works fast, but what if fast isn’t fast enough?

Part 1 / Part 2

“D’you check these yet?” Hunk asked as he threw open the topmost drawer of the in-wall storage space in Lance’s cabin.

“No, and it’s not in here either... I don’t understand wh—shit!” Keith cursed as he knocked over the trash can beside Lance’s nightstand and began scooping the contents back up.

“I don’t know where it could possibly be if—“

“—found it...” Keith interrupted as he held up the inhaler that had fallen out with the rest of the trash.

“Did you just get that from the... don’t you dare tell me it’s... oh, quiznak!”

“We’ve gotta tell Shiro...”

Keith was scared that Hunk would actually cry with the way his body tensed and his eyes glossed over.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure Coran will know what to do,” Keith offered as he forwent cleaning up the rest of the mess he made for the sake of time.

“Bring that with you, maybe it can help him figure something out,” Hunk said after a second of staring blankly before he turned on his heel and joined Keith in a mad dash back to the training deck.

When they finally made it back they wished they’d never left.

Lance was collapsed onto his forearms with a very distraught Shiro rubbing circles on his back as he struggled to take in heaving breaths. He hadn’t even realized they’d returned until Shiro spoke up.

“Thank god you guys are back, just toss it—”

“It’s empty, this was his last inhaler...” Keith offered for the look of utter despair on Shiro’s face as Hunk sunk down next to them and placed one hand beside Shiro’s on his back and wrapped the other around Lance’s, receiving a weak squeeze in thanks for the small comfort.

“You’re gonna be fine dude... Coran and Allura are going to help, they can fix this. Just keep breathing as deep as you can,” he repeated over and over as Lance’s chest continued to hitch, the wheezes so loud and guttural now as his lungs worsened and his body grew more exhausted.

Understanding washed over Shiro all at once and then he was moving, maneuvering Lance’s struggling body despite the unwillingness of his lax limbs.

He was too exhausted to do much of anything aside from keep his chest rising and follow whatever direction his pliant frame was guided, letting himself be pushed back onto his heels as hands clasped his forearms and settled on his back to keep him from tipping over.

Every muscle in his abdomen was screaming. A similar tension burning up his neck and seeping into the sinews between his shoulder blades that made his head feel way too heavy to sit atop his shoulders. After not even thirty ticks of trying to summon the strength to keep it up he let it hang forward, the hands on him tightening their grips when he did.

He was extremely grateful they couldn’t see his face anymore because tears were beginning to form quicker than they could fall and he was sure he would have been fully sobbing at that point if he’d had any energy to spare.

“We’re meeting everyone at the infirmary then, you guys run ahead and let Coran know,” Shiro ordered as he motioned for Hunk to take hold of Lance while he turned away and crouched.

With some help he rose on shaking legs, Keith rushing to support his other side when his oxygen deprived legs protested the action.

“Woah, we’ve got you... thanks Keith...”

Their hands under his armpits kept him standing long enough to collapse onto Shiro’s back.

He literally only had the energy after that to throw his arms over Shiro’s shoulders and nestle his chin securely in the space between his own bicep and Shiro’s neck before his body sagged against his leader like dead weight.

“Go! I’m right behind you,” he shouted, his voice dark and fearful.

He could feel Lance straining against him as he followed after them, could hear the way his congested airways sputtered each time he tried to breathe.

Shiro made his way with steady urgency, not exactly jogging but not walking either, the anxiety bubbling in his stomach only forcing his legs to pump quicker as Lance got worse.

Keith and Hunk made it to the medbaby in record time though, both boys panting after sputtering to a halt once they made it through the whooshing doors.

The paladins knew today’s workout would be a doozy, but none of them expected to be doing this much running, especially under these circumstances.

Pidge was on the floor sorting through boxes of medicine and supplies carrying on an in-depth conversation regarding the compositional makeup of altean pharmaceuticals with Coran and Allura.

“Hey guys—wait why do you have...?”

“Empty...”

Keith answered a bit breathlessly as he waved the tube of navy and teal plastic in the air before gesturing to toss it to Coran who nodded and raised his hands in anticipation.

“...figured you’d want to take a look at the ingredients or whatever before Shiro got here with him.”

The air in the room seemed to thin as worry descended upon everyone.

“Christ, Lance!” Pidge exclaimed and sat back on her heels.

“Yeah, he’s not doing too hot,” Hunk said as he joined them, stealing the box of tubes and gadgets from Pidge to rifle through it himself.

Coran’s frown somehow deepened and Allura looked increasingly more distraught as he began filling them in.

“What level of dangerous is his breathing at?” Pidge asked hesitantly, like she didn’t want to hear the answer.

“He’s panicking and already really exhausted, so pretty dangerous. It’s one of the worst attacks I think he’s had in a while...”

Allura worried at her lip and kept glancing between the jumble of medical supplies and the medbay doors while she worked absently to ready a bed, the mice smoothing out wrinkles in the sheets and pulling down corners for her.

“Well, it was smart of number four to think of bringing this. I am synthesizing several medicines in likeness but none of them are exactly complete yet—”

“That’s—fuck, that’s not gonna be good enough...”

Everyone stilled at Hunk’s harsh interruption, his hands shaking in loose fists at his sides while he stared fixedly at the boxes of miscellaneous medical equipment in front of him.

“Lance can’t breathe, he can’t just wait for something to finish synthesizing, he might not be breathing at all when it’s done!”

Pidge scooted across the floor and laid her tiny hands on top of Hunk’s trembling ones.

“I think what Hunk means to say is that Lance’s condition is, erm, kinda dire and requires something that works as fast as possible.”

“Hmmm, I see. That is why the blue wilgam bark salve is strictly for prevention... this is indeed a rather tricky—ah, though I suppose I can try to extract and aerosolize whatever might remain of his earth remedy for a temporary solution,” Coran noted as he braved his stern concentration face and began separating the metal canister from the outer plastic to compare the words on it to the words on the bottles of medicine in front of him.

“And we can always place him in a pod for however long it takes to create an accurate remedy... he is truly in the best hands Hunk, do not fret so much,” Allura finished with a tight smile that was warm and assuring all the same.

It was strange how well she could do that, squash so much worry with such a simple act.

Coran hurried over to a station with lots of tools and canisters and turned on several machines that made various clicking and whirring noises.

Keith’s nose wrinkled at the new sounds but he couldn’t find it in him to feel angry about it. Not when they were going to help Lance when was in such bad shape.

“Okay, okay... those are good ideas,” Hunk agreed with a gasp, he hadn’t realized he’d been withholding air as he lost himself in his panic.

“Deep breaths, big guy,” Pidge urged, the weight of her hands bringing him back down from the brink of panic as his mind raced.

“Yeah, don’t forget that you’re the one who can actually breathe,” Keith chided gently with a hesitant hand on Hunk’s shoulder.

“Right... sorry. It’s just that these can get ugly really quick if—“

The doors whooshed open with an unsettling burst of air as Shiro emerged and crossed the room in a matter of seconds, a flurry of concerned exclamations filling the silence in between pauses of commotion that should have been hurried gasps for air.

But weren’t.

There wasn’t time to make sense of the lack of color in Lance’s face or the absence of movement in his chest as Shiro slid him off of his back, human hand trembling as he moved to support his middle and the base of his neck as he lowered his lifeless body onto the bed.

It was a grim enough sight to have even Allura’s mice crying out.

“Lance!”

“Holy fuck...”

Pidge was acting on autopilot as she pinched the altean breathing mask Coran had pulled out over the bridge of his nose and cupped it under his chin to secure the seal, Keith moving in eerie similarity to connect the tubing and flip the right switches on the machine when it became apparent that Hunk wouldn’t be spurred from his horror any time soon.

It wasn’t prepped because they hadn’t realized they’d be needing it so soon.

“No... nonononono—“

They aren’t sure how they heard it through the muddle of commotion and devastating silence but it stopped them all in their tracks, the faintest whisper of air passing his lips.

His very blue lips, go figure.

“He’s breathing, Hunk. Just barely, though...”

Lance’s eyes were open still and staring at nothing as his neck strained for air that was there now but still not accessible with how severely inflamed his lungs had become, the only sounds leaving his lips at all just rapid exhales where he couldn’t expel enough before his aching lungs screamed for more of what the mask was providing

“It doesn’t look like it’s helping...” Hunk all but sobbed as he gripped the base board of the bed so tightly his fingers blanched.

Lance’s eyes bobbed at that, struggling to locate who out of his friends was distressed through the tears welling at their brims.

They were puffy and bloodshot as silent tears spilled in a continuous stream, his eyebrows drawn together with pain and desperation.

“That’s because it’s not,” Shiro deadpanned, his hands working to soothe over Lance’s stuttering chest as his rasping breaths caught in his throat on their way out.

“Wh-how is it not working... it’s oxygen?!”

It was almost pitiful how helpless Keith looked as he stated the very blatant fact, his expression sharp and his tone prickly, like he didn’t know who or what to be mad at.

“His airways,” Pidge started weakly, her voice wavering, “they must be too tight for the air to get through...”

Shiro’s hand gripped Lance’s fiercely. It was ice cold.

The gravity of the situation dawned on his friends like a literal blow then, all eyes turning to Allura.

“Coran... he-he’s working on something, but...”

It wasn’t often that the paladins saw the princess hesitate. Her usual order of proceeding during a crisis was to do something brave or noble first and think about it later, but her impulse instinct was uncharacteristically absent as she stared at Lance’s greying face.

Her hands rose slowly, long fingers uncurling from where they’d been pressed tightly in her palms to reveal a subtle pink glow.

“Princess...”

“I know, Shiro... it’s just—I am scared it might cause him greater discomfort...”

“I don’t think we have time to worry about that, Allura,” Keith noted gravely from the foot of the bed where Lance’s eyes were half focused and darting between him and Hunk.

A status update from Coran made the tension in the room skyrocket further as he estimated another twenty or so dobashes before anything was viable.

It only took one more particularly worrisome sound of distress from Lance for Allura’s hands to descend on his chest with certainty, the pink furls leaving her fingers and settling on his body for not even a second before his back arched off the bed with a strangled gasp.

Allura grimaced as she called upon several energy reserves to ease the vice constricting Lance’s lungs as fast as she could.

A phantom tightness bloomed in her own chest as she visualized the pressure leaving his while she forced each passage back open, the channel she had opened between them by using her powers allowing her to feel the gridlock for herself.

She didn’t let up until Lance was sinking back into the pile of pillows and by then she was so lightheaded that her vision was spotting, but Keith was at her side and gripping her elbow securely before she could even stumble when the strength in her legs wavered.

“I am quite alright, just feeling a bit weak.”

“Are you sure? Why don’t you take a seat for a few anyway?”

Lance couldn’t really make sense of the conversations going on around him while he collected himself after being released from the pulls of Allura’s magic.

“It’ll pass, Keith.”

“Allura...”

Not that he was known for having stellar listening skills, but he was just usually able to follow along with the general flow of things even when otherwise preoccupied.

“Coran you said only eighteen minutes, right?”

The voices of his friends filtered back in slowly though, his skull throbbing still after the horrible pressure had lifted.

“Can you lift his head for a sec so I can secure the strap?”

He hadn’t been coherent of much of anything before, fixing what remained of his energy on the miserable stalemate in his chest.

“It’s only seventeen dobashes and forty three tics now...”

And then the twisted relief of Allura’s magic.

But after that his hearing seemed to flatline, zeroing in on a high pitched hiss that was either static or the oxygen flow of which droned on and dribbled into his present when the tension that had yanked every muscle in his body taught alleviated all at once.

It was so disorientating it almost nauseated him and brought a distinct rush of blood to his eardrums, the oxygen flooding his deprived bloodstream like a dam had broken and left him feeling utterly weightless.

Shiro was the first one to break through the barrier of cotton that muffled his brain.

“Easy, Lance,” he instructed when he didn’t start breathing normally right sway, too stunned by the sudden levity to remember how.

“Take it slow hermano, you’re okay now...”

Everything was still uncomfortably tight and restricted, but air was at least accessible even as his body struggled to acclimate to the change, his heaves greedy and crackling.

“I was able reduce the inflammation for now but there is a substantial amount of fluid that remains in his lungs.”

“Fluid? What like blood?”

“No, Keith, not blood. Phlegm.”

“Oh, gross.”

Lance let out an indignant huff at that and despite the restriction of the mask managed to return the look of disgust the mullet had given him.

“Why is that so bad if it’s just phlegm?”

“Because anything in your lungs besides air is bad, Keith. It’s your lungs!”

“Precisely, Pidge. And it will only keep irritating Lance’s but we cannot risk him progressing back to such a state before Coran has derived his medicine when my powers are not indefatigable.”

“Yep...” Lance winced.

In order to speak he had to battle against the congestion in his chest which made his already wrecked voice sound downright abrasive.

“Shhh, no talking!” Pidge hissed with a warning glare.

But when was Lance ever known to take good advice when it’s given?

“Think... I can feel th’fluid... s’not very—“

He didn’t have to elaborate any more than that to get his point across because the rapping of his own vocal cords against each other had him launching into a harsh fit of coughing that rocked his entire frame. The accumulated cloud of condensation in the mask never allowed to chance to dissipate fully as he hacked.

It sort of felt like he was drowning since he didn’t have the strength to get his arms underneath him while all of the crap that his stupid respiratory system produced to counteract the strain in his lungs only worked to suffocate him and his freshly reduced air passages.

“Shit someone help me get him up, it’ll be easier to breathe if he’s vertical...”

Hunk surged to grab the arm that was closest to him as Shiro slotted his own beneath Lance’s back and hefted him into what only partially passed as a sitting position. But the motion made his head spin and his stomach clench and then Hunk’s hands planted on either of his shaking shoulders to keep him from tilting over as Shiro slid behind him.

The others looked on with horror.

“You’re okay,” Shiro assured as he pulled Lance towards himself.

He was grateful for the solidity of Shiro’s chest, his hold firm enough that Lance didn’t have to work anymore to keep himself up as he slumped into it, but the tears started back up anyway when he continued to actively choke on what felt like nothing despite being upright.

But there wasn’t anything in his throat to actually choke on.

“Just gotta work through it...”

He was starting to get really tired of the exhaustion and malaise that came with being deprived of oxygen for an extended period of time.

“Paladins! Only fourteen—er, minutes remaining.”

“Hear that bud? You’re gonna be okay.”

He did hear but he’s shaking his head in the crook of Shiro’s arm where his head had lolled because he can’t wait that long. He can’t.

“Yeah, you’ll feel better real soon,” Hunk affirmed.

But Lance was verging on a hysteria that he couldn’t summon the strength to express when every muscle that can be strained in his body felt like it most definitely was. And with how acutely his ribcage ached he was also certain he’d displaced a couple of those false ribs made up of just cartilage too.

“Hey, no don’t get upset, you’re gonna be fine!”

He’s never been more exhausted in his life and he can’t communicate that he can’t wait that long because he hasn’t stopped coughing.

His eyes are burning from the amount of crying he’s done so he relies on touch alone when a hand cups his chin and turns it, deducing it must be Allura.

“Lance, can you hear me?”

A shakey jerk seems to be good enough for her.

“I know you aren’t the biggest fan of the healing pods, but I understand that you are in a great deal of distress still and I believe you have endured enough...”

“What are you—oh, yeah! We could totally just put him in stasis like you and Coran were for thousands of years and bring him out when the medicine is ready.”

“Yes, just as Pidge puts it. There is no need to extend the suffering of one of my paladins.”

Shiro set his jaw as he regarded Allura sternly, it didn’t matter what she believed if Lance didn’t agree and he knew how wary he was of returning to the pods after the harrowing experience that landed him in one for the first time.

“Is that something you want to do? It’s alright if you aren’t comf—“

“Please.”

His voice was small, hard even a rasp, but it didn’t need to be loud for Shiro to accept it as his answer.

“Okay...”

Lance checked out after that, allowing himself to save the energy it took to focus on what was happening around him.

So when he started registering Shiro’s voice in his ear he wasn’t exactly sure how both him and the respirator came to be at the foot of a cryochamber but he made a desperate noise at the realization.

“I know, bud. You’re almost there but we need to take the mask off.”

No one missed the fear that flashed across his face before it softened into resignation, or otherwise known as I don’t care, please put me in that stupid thing right now.

Shiro was still holding him and seemed to sense the urgency in it.

“I’m gonna stand up with you...”

It was so surprise when Lance’s knees hardly held any of his own weight before wobbling and giving out as Shiro stood with him still flush against his chest.

He regarded Hunk with a lazy roll through lidded eyes as he tipped his head forward and worked the strap off but held the mask in place.

Distantly aware of the burst of air from the pod opening and a renewed flurry of commotion around him, Lance tried to work with Shiro as he ushered him forward but his legs were too heavy and he couldn’t coordinate his movements well.

Someone else’s hands were on him, bending his knee so they could set one leg down in the pod and send the rest of his body with it. He thinks it might’ve been Keith.

The various sets of hands on him stay even after he’s securely in place, probably scared he would crumple if they did.

They were probably right.

“-nce. Hey, Lance? There you are, this is gonna suck but only for a second. I promise. Ready?”

You would’ve missed the brief hum from his somewhere deep in his sore chest if you weren’t practically inside the pod with him like Shiro seemed to be.

“Okay, now Hunk.”

The crackling heave that erupted from hims mouth was something a dying thing made, but he couldn’t hear himself or the horrible sound he made as consciousness began to swiftly melt away in stages.

First with the initial pressure everywhere after the removal of the mask.

And then pain because holy shit he couldn’t breathe.

But the cold creeped into his bones at light speed and the darkness wasn’t too far behind.

[lunar-wandering]

i don’t wanna fight alone anymore - Chapter 5

if you pick up on the 5d chess level plot line i hint at in here i platonically love you

Word Count: 2.3k

Read on Ao3

-

Wukong sighed as he walked into the ship's common area, taking in the sight before him.

"Y'know. I was honestly kind of hoping that what happened yesterday was a dream." He said, "Or, well, I guess it would be a nightmare-"

"Aw, you consider me to be a nightmare?" Macaque said, from his rather uncomfortable looking position of being sprawled on the couch. "I'll take that as a compliment."

"It wasn't intended as one." Wukong sighed again, looking over at MK and Mei. "And what are you two doing?"

"He kicked us off the couch." MK said, his arms crossed and a pout on his face. Mei wore a matching expression. "We're trying to convince him to give it back."

"Pouting doesn't work on me, kiddo." Macaque said, "I'm not easily swayed, unlike someone I know."

"Oh c'mon." Mei said, moving over and getting closer to the shadow monkey. "We're friends now right?"

"....I don't recall agreeing to that-"

"And friends will let their friends use the couch!" She continued, nudging Macaque's arm. "Please? We'll even let you sit with us."

"Absolutely not." Macaque said, pulling his arm away from her nudging. "I'm quite comfortable where I am, thank you very mu-"

He didn't get to finish that, as Wukong, having had enough, easily climbed behind him, and shoved him off the couch, knocking him to the floor. Macaque yelped, as MK and Mei cheered.

"Hey! I'm still injured you know!" Macaque hissed, fur bristling.

"If you can annoy people, you're healed enough." Wukong said, crossing his arms as he looked down at Macaque. "You need to get ready anyways."

"Ready? Ready for what?" MK asked.

"To go get the next object of course! I gave Sandy the coordinates last night, we're almost there already." Wukong said.

"What're we getting this time? A shovel, to go with the rake?" Mei joked. Wukong paused for a moment, before he gave a little laugh.

"Oh, it's uh, nothing like that, this one is more of a back up than anything-"

"Back up? Back up for what?" MK asked, concern starting to form in his voice.

"You don't need to be concerned about it bud, it's really nothing important, in fact we probably won't even need it! Everything will be fine. Just.... fine." Wukong said, chuckling a little, a very familiar smirk starting to appear on his face.

Or, well, familiar to Macaque at least.

"You're lying." Macaque said, elaborating when MK and Mei looked at him with confusion. "He always makes that face when he lies."

"I do not." Wukong hissed, but despite his denial, he stood up, turning around so that the others couldn't see his expression. "A-anyways, we're wasting time here, so uh, let's go!"

-

"...Why am I here again?" Macaque asked, sulking a little as he walked with Wukong, MK, and Mei through the entryway of the temple.

"You, are here so I can keep an eye on you." Wukong explained, "If you think I'm trusting you anytime soon, you'd be dead wrong."

"...Point taken." Macaque said, as they turned the corner into a room that practically glowed with various objects. Some of them were on pedestals, some just laying on the ground. More hallways connected to the room, each of them with even more hallways and doors.

"How're we going to find the object you're searching for with all of...this?" Mei asked.

"Oh, I'm sure we'll know it when we see it." Wukong said, "I'm sure it's somewhere in this temple."

"And how can you be so sure? Where are your sources Wukong, go on, pull out your list of references, I'll wait." Macaque said, crossing his arms and smirking as Wukong sputtered. MK tuned them out, instead focusing in on some of the various treasures the room held.

Over on a nearby pedestal, a small mirror stood, innocently gleaming alongside the rest of the treasure. Curiosity started to take it's hold, and MK reached out-

"Woah there kid-" Macaque said, grabbing hold of MK's wrist, stopping him just before he could reach the mirror. "Hold on there, this place is full of mystic treasures, remember? You don't want to go about activating some magic trap or something, we can't risk that kind of thing, right Wuk- ........you've got to be kidding me."

MK turned, following where Macaque's gaze was-

To see Wukong, standing on the other side of the room, sheepishly holding a golden cup.

"....Uh, Macaque's right, shockingly enough." Wukong said, nervously chuckling as he set the cup back down on the pedestal he'd taken it from. "We wouldn't want to risk it."

"Don't- don't just put it back like you didn't do anything." Macaque said, letting go of MK's wrist to march over to Wukong, glaring at him. "We all saw you pick it up-"

Mei started to record.

"What, I didn't do anything..... I'm better at controlling my impulses than that." Wukong said, a nervous smirk starting to form on his face. Upon seeing it, Macaque reached over and pinched the other monkey's cheek.

"You're making that stupid face again." He said as Wukong yelped, smacking away Macaque's hand. "Seriously though, be glad nothing happened, I would've killed you if you'd activated something-"

Almost as if on cue, there was a faint click, and a magic circle appeared on the ground, a barrier rising up and trapping the two monkeys within the circle.

There was a moment of silence.

"....Yep, I'm going to kill you-" Macaque said, tackling Wukong to the floor. Mei cheered, excited for a fight, but MK quickly stepped in.

"Woah, woah, hold on-" MK said, and both monkey's paused mid-fight. "Are you two okay?"

"....Wukong don't you dare say it-"

"We're just peachy kid!" As soon as those words left Wukong's mouth, Macaque went back to attacking him with extreme fervor. In response, Wukong leaned back, planting his feet into Macaque's chest and shoving him away. Macaque's back slammed against the barrier, and he growled, moving to attack Wukong again-

Only to pause as Wukong pulled out a piece of chalk, humming quietly as he drew a line on the ground.

"....What are you doing." Macaque asked, all the fight leaving him as confusion took over. Wukong hummed in satisfaction as he finished drawing the line.

"We can't just fight the whole time we're in here, that'd be counter-productive." He said, tucking the chalk back into his pocket. "So, you stay on your side, I'll stay on my side."

"That has to be the most childish solution I've ever heard-" Macaque started, only to be cut off as Mei cleared her throat.

"Not that this isn't very entertaining, but like, how exactly are we supposed to get you out?" She asked. Wukong and Macaque paused.

"Uh. I'm not entirely sure-" Wukong started.

"I found a switch over here." MK said, drawing their attention to where he stood by the wall. "D'you think pressing it would let you out?"

"No." Macaque said, a surprising amount of certainty in his voice. "There's another switch, probably in some kind of control room or something like that. You have to flip it before you can flip this one."

There was a moment of silence as everyone stared at him.

"....What? I traveled a lot, I've seen a lot of traps." Macaque huffed, putting his back against the barrier and sliding down to sit on the floor. "I know what I'm doing."

"...Well it's not like we have any better options." Mei said, shrugging as she grabbed hold of MK's arm, turning down a random hallway. "We'll be back!"

Wukong sighed as he watched the two of them walk further into the temple, before turning and glaring at Macaque.

"You better not have just sent them off on a wild goose chase." He said, mirroring Macaque's pose by sitting down on the ground.

"Please, do I look like I want to stay in this circle forever?"

-

"Why is this temple so hard to navigate!" MK yelled in frustration, as he gripped onto the stone wall. He and Mei were slowly climbing down, hoping to find some kind of control room deeper in the temple.

"Probably to deter thieves." Mei said. She wasn't struggling nearly as much with this as MK was. The perils of loosing super strength.... "Either that or to make the adventure more fun for, y'know, adventurers."

"Couldn't they have set it up so you could choose a difficulty setting?" MK mumbled, "This would be so much easier if we could do this on easy mode-"

MK missed the next grip point, his foot sliding. He startled at the sudden lack of support, scrambling a bit in his panic, which turned out to be a mistake, as he ended up slipping and letting go of the wall entirely, tumbling back.

"MK!" Mei yelled, reaching out a hand to grab at him, barely missing by a few inches.

MK tensed, bracing himself to slam against the stone floor of the temple-

Only to feel himself get caught in someone's arms.

"Red Son?!" Mei yelled, incredulous, and MK opened his eyes to see that she was right, Red Son had caught him. "What are you doing here?!"

"I'm getting something for W- ah, my parents." Red Son said as he set MK down on the ground. "Yep, I'm picking up some random mystic artifact for my parents."

"....Do your parents actually know you're here?" MK asked.

"Of course they do! Why wouldn't they?" Red Son said-

And then proceeded to rush forwards to catch Mei just before she could hit the ground.

"Ha! That was fun!" She said, laughing as she jumped out of Red Son's arms.

"Why would you do that?!" Red Son hissed.

"I knew you would catch me."

"A bit of warning might have been nice!"

"So you admit you would catch me?" Mei asked, laughing as Red Son paused, before he huffed, crossing his arms and looking away, his necklace jangling as he moved.

"....What's with the necklace?" MK asked, and Red Son froze, before quickly hiding the necklace behind his shirt.

"It's nothing." He mumbled, before grabbing hold of Mei and MK's hands, and starting to walk. "C'mon, you're looking for the switches to undo the magic barrier right?"

"How'd you-"

"Just a.... lucky guess." Red Son said, dragging them down a long series of hallways. As they passed a darkened hall, MK paused, staring intently. "Hurry it up MK, you don't have all day."

"Sorry I just....thought I saw something." MK said, slowly turning away. He could've sworn that he had seen- no, that wasn't possible. "...Wait, did you just call me MK?"

"I think he did." Mei said, smirking. Red Son didn't even look at them, but his hair started sparking at the edges.

".....No, I didn't." He said, "You two must be hearing things. Now hurry it up, we're running out of time."

-

"What is wrong with you?" Macaque asked, sitting on his side of the circle.

"Excuse me?" Wukong said, glancing over at Macaque in confusion. Macaque sighed, before standing up, and crossing over the chalk line, despite Wukong's protests.

"Normally, you could get us out of here easily. So, I'll ask you again." Macaque said, leaning over, nose almost brushing against Wukong's. "What is wrong with you?"

"I- uh, well, what's wrong with you?" Wukong countered, "Why don't you use your shadows to break the barrier?"

"You seriously think that she left me unscathed?" Macaque hissed, before quickly backtracking. "Or, well, I mean, not unscathed, but like-"

"So it was her." Wukong whispered, "She's the one who hurt you."

"....Don't think about it too much." Macaque said, walking back over to his side of the circle, sitting down and pulling his knees to his chest. "It's....not important."

"Macaque-"

"We're back!" MK's voice interrupted, and both Wukong and Macaque visibly startled at his sudden presence. "We flipped the switch, all we need to do now is just flip this one!"

"Oh thank goodness." Macaque said, making a show out of standing up and stretching. "Any longer in here and I think Wukong would've driven me insane."

"Hey-" Wukong started to protest, but then stopped as he registered who was with Mei and MK. "Uh. Who do you have there?"

"Ah, Red Son just. Kind of showed up." MK explained as he walked over to the switch on the wall. "Said he was getting something for his parents."

Wukong leveled Red Son with a look of suspicion, and Red Son looked away, nervously rubbing his arm. MK flipped the switch on the wall, the barrier falling down. Both Macaque and Wukong let out an audible sigh of relief as the magic faded away-

Only for the ground to shake.

"Well, looks like time is up." Red Son said, oddly calm, as he walked by them, turning to head deeper into the temple. "I'll see you guys later."

As he passed by Wukong, he paused for a moment, leaning over and whispering something Mei and MK couldn't hear. Macaque's ear twitched, and a look of horror briefly flashed over Wukong's face, but it was gone as fast as it had been there as the floor shook again, this time knocking some rocks loose, the sound of them tumbling making Wukong wince. He rushed forwards, picking up Macaque (despite the protest that he could "run on his own") as he started towards the exit. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Mei do the same with MK, before hurriedly catching up to him.

"Wait- what about Red Son?" MK said, watching as the aforementioned demon continued to walk back further into the temple, with a walk that was far too calm for someone who was in a collapsing building.

"He'll be fine, I'm sure he's got a plan." Wukong said, skidding to a stop once he reached the outside, setting Macaque down and turning to watch as the temple collapsed completely, sealing the entrance. Mei softly set MK down on the ground beside her.

"...We didn't end up getting that thing you wanted." Mei said, staring at the collapsed temple. Wukong sighed.

"It's fine. Like I said, it was more of a..... back up plan anyways." He said, turning to head back to the ship. "We shouldn't need it anytime soon."