#i still have my rock collection from childhood i loved that shit i could look at cool rocks all day

[handweavers]

been reading a book called geopedia: a brief compendium of geologic curiosities by marcine bjornerud on the plane and it's been reaffirming my belief that if i was better at math and if thinking about the true scope of earth's age and history pre- and post-human didn't make me feel existentially nauseous i would've loved to be a geologist

[campbell-rose]

Helluva Rewrite: Moxxie

A big thing with Moxxie was just me wanting him to not look like a butler. I don’t know what it is with Viv and men in suits, but I'm not a fan. To keep his vest from blending into his pants, I untucked a bit of his undershirt. I want each member of IMP to stand out visually from one another (because all imps literally look related to some degree lol) so I gave Moxxie green in his color palette to contrast the orangish red tone I gave his skin. I also think green eyes will help him stand out very nicely from the group. Instead of striped I put gold rings on his tail and gave him a couple rings on his fingers because greed and gold. Since Viv loves bowties, I let Mox keep his but made it droopy because I think it’s cuter. Originally, I was going to keep his coattails, but I feel like with the shape of his legs it just muddies his silhouette. 

With Moxxie there isn’t much about his character I have to gripe about or want to change. He’s a skilled gunman with knowledge of the subject and history of guns. Cool, now for that, I’m working in his greed traits and decided that he outright hoards guns (since viv wants to claim imps hoard things). Moxxie has a vast collection and is always keeping them nice and spiffy. 

Now one thing I don’t like about Moxxie is his insecurity. Moreso the fact that it’s constantly being played up, like in Unhappy Campers where he’s like a crotchety old woman going through menopause because his wife is more popular than him. At that point it’s just stupid for the sake of drama. Since I made Millie the insecure one, I’m going to play up Moxxie’s straight man status. 

Moxxie is going to be the level headed cool sniper type I suppose. He’s not going to be as expression as Millie, the blue oni to her red in a sense. I think the comedy of that could be when something does make him lose his composure (I think I'll draw up a redone scene as an example) like Millie’s parents outright disliking him or Striker singing about how he sucks and should go fuck himself. I like the idea that because of his childhood as the son of an abusive mob boss father he’s learned to shove bad feelings down rather than express them outright. This doesn’t mean I want him to be a stone faced rock. No, I mostly just want him to express surface level exasperation and frustration with Blitzø’s antics (like his big ��WHAT?” when Blitz mentions he hired Strikker) 

So an example of this could be Striker’s song. After he tells Moxxie to go fuck himself, a close shot of Moxxie’s face shows it twitching. He adjusts his glasses, stands up, and excuses himself. (Millie recognizes that this is bad because she knows him and follows) But she loses him in Striker’s fangirl crowd. Moxxie will be visibly upset as he climbs the stairs before hearing Millie calling for him and regaining his composure – until he notices the glow coming from Striker’s room that catches his attention. 

So I don’t want this Moxxie to be a straight-faced ass, just a more composed character. 

Back to his insecurity real quick! Mozzie is a trained assassin but his is not physically strong enough to fight hand to hand. This is a weak spot for him because his father constantly shat all over him growing up and would literally smack him around and Moxxie was (in his own mind) too physically weak to stop it from happening. 

As to how he met Blitzo... well in this I don’t want the bs jail in hell bit because there has been no justifiable ass pulls by Viv or the team. Idk I'm having trouble. Maybe they met through Millie? Like Moxxie meets Millie doing something and is like ‘holy shit I love this chick fuck you dad I'm out.’ 

Idk that’s what I'm going with I'll fix it later this took way too long to do and i'll still gotta do Blitzo and Stolas and maybe the other characters and then maybe rework season one idk i'll focus on just doing Blitzo and reworking my Loona again

[hcneygemini]

𝖝. 𝖆. 𝖓. 𝖆. — the sex was good until it wasn't sentence starters.

A collection of sentence starters from the album The Sex Was Good Until It Wasn't. Not including songs previously released as singles ( they are on this meme ) I also have chosen not to include 15, Lavender Daughter, or BODY due to the heavy and deeply personal subject matter. Please do not add to or claim this meme as your own. Feel free to change pronouns, slightly rephrase, combine, or shorten as needed. Some lyrics have been changed to better fit rp purposes. tw: toxic relationships, brief suicidal ideation, religious stuff ( mostly blasphemous lmao ), some violence mentions, & implied cheating.

LIP SERVICE

you can't hurt me any more than you have already.

it's taken everything in me not to be petty.

what once was easy is now feeling pretty heavy.

waiting is romance until [ they ] are never ready.

i get next to you and i still get nervous.

my stomach dropped when you said "i don't deserve this."

i don't deserve this.

"it's just not like you," is what i tell myself, but how could i know that?

i guess it's true love 'cause you always come right back.

a liability is what you lack.

i don't wanna know that.

you talk of timing, like our planets just aren't aligning.

you talk of timing, as if we don't have any say in deciding.

you talk of timing, as if my tongue is the only one i'm biting.

you talk of timing, as if i don't have all your confessions down in writing.

yeah, it's the timing.

i can't let you lie to me.

i don't know who you're trying to be.

i didn't wanna up and leave.

i knew you wouldn't stay with me.

i think about you all the time.

we thought it would, but it never died.

my guilt is who i sleep beside.

i wonder if you're warm tonight.

we tried to control all the damage.

you couldn't let go.

i couldn't handle all the doubt in my mind.

all that's left is the hurt where you're hollow.

i wish you'd have saved yourself, 'cause i now i gotta save me.

now i gotta save me.

is there a world where we can make this better?

will i question your intentions forever?

[ Phoebe ] said that it's for the better.

i do what i can to make it last.

i'm scared of how i feel when you talk like that.

can we talk like that?

can we talk?

i would do it all again.

maybe we can try whenever you are able.

i'm not waiting, i'm just sitting at the table.

THE SEX WAS GOOD !

we're star-crossed lovers, but i wanna puke whenever you say it.

you're a little older now.

that's just the hard truth.

you're rocking with the big boys.

you scream your lungs dry.

i'm a sucker for white noise.

where am i tonight?

i guess you'll never know.

you probably won't sleep right.

now i can't think of you, it ruins my whole mood.

i only painted you red out of kindness.

you blame it on your childhood.

i should have left, but how could i?

i guess the sex was good until it wasn't.

i bet it cuts right to the bone.

you wanted a wife and a kid and a life you could control.

i've got unsaved numbers in my phone.

i've got a god-awful tendency to love being alone.

break all my shit!

incite a riot!

go play the victim, babe, i hope they buy it.

dry your alligator tears.

you can't leave 'em here.

you wanted love songs—beggars can't be choosers, dear.

i'm stone cold.

it's fucking tragic.

i never loved you.

i find myself looking back a bit more than i should.

it wasn't all bad, but it wasn't that good.

SICK JOKE

write it in gold.

the ending gets old.

they say you learn to know when it's time to go.

these days i'm talking to myself.

i know what to say now.

is everything i feel temporary?

i'm learning more about myself and it's scary.

won't you let me live right here in the memory?

love me plenty.

take this gently.

leave me empty.

leave me whole.

call it what it is: it's a sick, sick joke.

nobody's laughing now.

i wanna learn to love you, i just don't know how.

i swear i'm really trying, but i'm all worn out.

all that happened hurt me more than i care to talk about.

nothing ever changes, and i'm sick of this town.

will i find it in me to find a way out?

i think i might feel better once i let you down.

we never touched in that midnight glow.

every part of me you begged to know.

i look into your eyes and i see my own.

it's almost like you always knew me—what a horrifying feeling.

you were horrifying.

i only miss it a little.

i don't wish you very well.

you only loved me in riddles.

you still loved me, i could tell.

now you call it a fever dream.

you're only kidding yourself.

i wanna learn to trust you, i just don't know how.

you're no longer a contact.

i'm good on my own, but you already know that.

you swore to be true.

you failed in the moment.

they say it takes two, but i blame you.

i don't know what it means.

someday i'll find the meaning.

the wound still stings.

i kinda like the bleeding.

where'd you go?

you oughta stay there.

i had to block you on the internet 'cause i still care.

it keeps me up at night like a bad, bad dream.

what if i never find someone who's just like me?

our stars never aligned.

we did a bad thing.

i hold on to the grudges.

i wish you held me.

i have an incessant need for a love so all-consuming that it ruins me.

you promised it was real.

i guess you misspoke.

i wanna be merciful, i just don't know how.

it goes against my nature to believe you're bad.

why'd you have to go and lie to me like that?

there always come a point where you have to have your own back.

now's as good a time as ever to learn that.

i'm thankful that i never gave you all of me.

now i get to walk away with everything.

if i linger in your memory, eradicate me!

i never saw you coming, but i felt you leave.

i did my best.

i hope you never find the guts to make amends.

i'm crying to my friends.

i'm plotting my revenge.

all i really wanna know is why would you pretend?

FERAL

i served my head on a platter.

i wish i were dead by now.

what does it matter?

make your amends.

prepare for the slaughter.

the rumors are true.

you're callous and cruel.

that [ woman ] is feral.

they said, "be careful, that [ woman ] is the devil.

even god herself as never known such evil.

i see [ her ] when the lights go low.

i feel [ her ] when i'm on my own.

i do my best work under pressure.

you fight for your life.

for me, it's just pleasure.

blood on my lips looks so much better.

witness my final ascension.

i command your undivided attention.

i'm teaching a lesson.

god is a woman and she likes other women.

does it keep you up at night?

was there something in the light that looks like me?

was it worse than you thought?

are you praying to a god you don't believe?

there's a shadow in your bed.

[ she ] won't leave.

i kinda wish i killed you sooner.

pray to your great empty heaven.

THE KICKER

it's snowing for the second time this winter.

i'm glad i didn't, but i wish i'd kissed [ her ]

i've been contemplating resolutions.

i blocked the user, but [ she ] made a new one.

i'm at a loss.

maybe i'm sick and need an obsession.

maybe it's love and the timing's up to heaven.

if it's as real as it feels, wouldn't you be here still?

ain't that the kicker.

there's a ghost in these walls.

[ she ] says nothing at all.

there ain't a single day i don't feel [ her ].

you're a lesson learned.

i'm one you get to work through.

how dare you say this ain't easy for you.

you get to fall asleep in bed with a [ girl ] who chose you.

i hate that i still wonder if it's what you wanted.

you said you're all mine.

it left me haunted.

if i go crazy, put your name down on the paper.

cause of death: a fucking serial dater.

maybe i'm mixing up all the signs.

you're really not a bad guy.

you could be the one if i just let this one slide.

baby, you're lucky that i'm such a forgiver.

you chose her too.

don't tell me you love me if you don't mean it like that.

you don't mean it like that.

don't tell me you're coming back, you don't mean it like that.

why'd the lord make me such a forgiver?

EARTH EYES

you're got earth in your eyes.

i can hardly survive how you touch me at night.

will you touch me tonight?

will you touch me?

you're all mine.

you kissed and you cursed me.

i spent 7 years trying to prove i was worthy.

i waited for worship.

i waited for madness.

i sat on your doorstep.

i loved without reason.

you loved me in secret.

now that i'm older, i no longer mind it.

it wasn't one-sided.

you tried to hide it.

you wound pretty lies 'til we crashed and collided.

i finally found you.

ALIBI

i don't love [ her ], but i think about [ her ] all the time.

i wonder what on earth [ she ] tastes like.

i've got a hundred reasons why i need an alibi.

i think it's funny.

i can never get [ her ] all alone.

it's all we know.

i haven't been this close to heaven since they shut me out.

i still had blood on my clothes.

[ she ] washed it out.

i know nothing in this world can save me now.

no, i don't love [ her ]

[ she's ] just somehow all i think about.

ain't it funny?

for you, i think i could have been someone.

i hope you know when it's your time to go, it'd be an honor just to offer up a hand to hold.

if i have to wait until our decaying state to be that close to you, darling, it's all i'll do.

i'll be yours forever, if forever will have me.

i'll be yours forever.

4EVER

it's already been 6 months.

i kinda hate how the time just goes and goes.

it feel strange to think about how i used to be somebody you didn't know.

you're the first i always call.

i share my clothes and fears with you.

we know it's something special.

we know we're gonna miss it when we get a little older.

i'm crying on your shoulder.

i think i fell in love, but it feels a little better.

i could stay right here in this house with you forever.

some things are meant to be.

some things are accidental.

you make me believe the world could be gentle.

every minute here i get more sentimental.

you cry in my arms.

i put on the kettle.

we do what we want.

the [ girls ] are allowed.

i had a panic attack, now we're going out.

god, i love the [ girl ] house!

you can brush your teeth while i'm singing in the shower.

i'll follow you wherever.

you make it all right.

home is where i love you.

they could stick us in a movie.

i'd even go to hell if it meant with you.

how'd we get so lucky?

home is where you love me.

we're all just a little bit in love with [ Amelia ].

i'll meet you on the corner.

i'm down in california.

they say talk is cheap.

JANUARY

it's all so comforting, the part of me that dies without you here.

tell me how i'm supposed to stay away for another year.

i don't wanna kill the parts of me that loved you right.

i can't look them in the eye.

i swear i will hate you for this forever.

i never got to tell you that i loved you.

i was blinded by your tunnel light.

this is my town.

honey, it's your wasteland.

i don't think we'll ever talk again.

we couldn't get that right.

i didn't notice the moment you let go of this.

i was all alone in it for longer than i knew.

i knew.

you made the right choice.

i'm second guessing if i ever really knew your true intentions.

you couldn't hold back.

i couldn't learn my lesson.

i kinda hate the silence.

i know what to do with it.

now it's over.

i feel 10 years older, somehow none the wiser.

i do this every time.

i couldn't get that right.

your skeletons, they don't scare me.

i go back to january—in my mind, you wait there for me.

i feel pathetic, insisting this shit's poetic.

i feel you rolling those damn eyes.

i curse 'em all the time.

no, i don't miss you anymore.

i don't want you back in my life, i couldn't live like that.

i'd say i'm happy.

there's still something so daunting.

i never felt the weight of it all.

you came along and took it off me.

i hope you're happy.

i can't look at any pictures, i'm afraid i'll see you with [ her ].

i heard you got that right.

i can't go back, i can't move forward.

i cried all night.

what's that like, being loved by you?

i still talk to you when i'm sleeping.

i call you name just to feel something.

i never learned to let a good thing go.

no, you won't be seeing my name on a phone screen.

you're hoping it's me who caves—well, it won't be!

i needed the time and the space.

i can't recall why it was needed in the first place.

i ain't a killer.

oh baby, i might be.

you're somehow the one i can't leave behind me.

in my mind, you regret me.

do you regret me?

[muckmagister]

6 11 25

do you use a watch?

not until very recently! just over a week ago i bought a heath tracker under the instruction of my cardiologist who wanted me to have something i could use to check my heart rate easily and often just in case, y'know? and well naturally this fancy gizmo also tells the time ^^ so i guess i wear a watch now even if it's primary purpose is to tell me my heart rate and how well i've slept lmao

anything from your childhood you've held onto?

a big fart. sorry, i'm- it's- i've answered this question in two previous asks if you wanna look ffjdjsjs😭 no but if i hadn't gone to bed already i would go take photos of my cool rock collection that i've had for ages and if i remember in the morning i'll reblog this and add them on 👍

would you say you have good taste in music?

i like the music i listen to it's nice :)

honestly everyone else seems to know what they're doing when they listen to music but istg i started like 10 years late. like as in. for almost half my life i just didn't listen to music at all. i mean obviously i heard music but i don't remember ever having any real opinions on the stuff i heard or any desire to go out of my way to listen to anything, at least not until way later than all of my peers seemed to.

yeah it's the autism i know, but i still don't think i've met someone who's had the same experience with music that i've had, or keep having.

ok i'm rambling now but honestly i don't often listen to music in general. it's a very present thing to me, like i can't listen to something if i can't sing along to the lyrics and jive with it y'know? which means at lot of the time i'm more comfortable in silence.

like, music is something i put on to Listen to and not to just like have in the background. idk sometimes when my brothers cooking breakfast he puts some music on, and it's nice and i enjoy it too but that's just something i'd never think to do if i were in the same position. and like a friend of mine loves to drive around and listen to music and i could never do that, like the music would just be distracting me from driving, it'd be downright unsafe lmao. when i listen to stuff at my computer i actually tend to just end up on an open tab with the lyrics there to just sing along even if i already know the song.

one of the only situations i can think of where i choose to listen to music and do something else at the same time is when i'm playing a specific type of videogame, where the music helps me get into that sort of flow state. and i think that's just cause it helps relax/distract the parts of my brain that aren't engaged with the videogame in a way that actually helps me stay focused on the game. like if i'm playing tetris a part of me is gonna get bored and look for something else to do, but if i listen to music and distract that part of me with a song to sing along to, then the tetris playing bits can focus even deeper on playing tetris. media symbiosis. i no idea. ok now i'm stopping myself here and putting all this shit behind a read more fjdhjskskks😭 oH but here's my tetris highscore btw #humblebrag

also you can just. play tetris, btw. for free. it's just on tetris.com like that's literally the link too and it's all there it's great. i was double checking it just now and it even works on mobile browsers it's fantastic. i love tetris

[talenlee]

Dread Month 2024

There’s this quote from Shakespeare, I think the Scottish play, which has lived rent-free in my mind since I learned it as a child, from its doleful, dreadful delivery in a voice so well equipped to dip into threat.

As the good things of day began to droop and drowse, Night’s black agents to their preys did rouse

And that there, that’s some classic ‘I read a book’ ass poetry to drop mid-sentence, an indicator and signifier that no really, I am one of the smart ones because I know something from a source that you probably don’t quite remember. Except I didn’t learn it from reading Shakespeare or even attending plays or associating with cool sexy bohemians at coffee shops where all the good drugs are being swapped.

I learned it from a 1950s radio program called The Goon Show, hosted by Harry Secombe, Spike Milligan and Peter Sellers, who are all names that should loom large over modern media but can’t, because they all died as late as 2001. In the heart of all things, they were the kinds of people who would now make what you’d call an amazing comedy podcast, and I have no doubt whatsoever that Sellers would do numbers on Twitter, until he deleted it, and came back a few months later to call a reporter an anti-white slur.

The line comes from a sequence where the villains of a story are preparing to steal a Jet-Propelled guided Naafi, a kind of tea shop that could be launched and flown from location to location in a hot moment. The response is:

“Ah, Macbeth!”

“You ignorant swine, that was Shakespeare.”

These are the words that lurk in my mind deep and dark when I think about dread month.

This is what I do. I pull together the pieces of my mismade and mismanaged memory, including the way I was raised as a preacher’s son to learn to deploy the rhetorical structure of a convincer, and put those tools to task in telling you a story that’s just a matter of rolling my life around in all those broken bits. I am old enough now that all the music I’m used to and like is just ‘old person stuff,’ rather than what it was when I was a child which is that I had the musical taste of an old man. Specifically, the old man was my father, who, himself, was never a Cool Guy with Cool Tastes. I mean they’re cool now, because he has a vinyl collection that dates back to his adolescence and early adulthood, but at the time, it wasn’t Cool Music.

My childhood featured reading classic horror novels and the deep abiding terror of Biblical literalism, the apocalypticism of a faith that believed in human sacrifice just as long as you word it differently, and the kinds of strange glimpses of 1980s and 1990s culture you got when you were afraid of hearing any rock music, all while in the slowly creeping end of the world that was no doubt, showing up any day now, probably sometime around 2000.

There’s an irony in that my dad never bought into the actual apocalypticism of our church, so while people in lesser positions of authority would huff that ‘I mean, Y2K is coming,’ dad would roll his eyes and make plans for 2001. Joke’s on them, I guess, but then, I’ve looked into what they’re up to and they still suck shit.

Anyway.

The point is that much of what I offer on this blog is a set of writing and videos that express the mind of a mediocre man with some good presentation skills, filtered through a jackdaw’s willingness to pick up anything shiny and a rattled brain that still is capable of spooking itself with late night reading of ghost stories.

Here in Dread Month, I seek to draw on that thread. It is a place for stories of unpleasant things, stories which may have a dour ending, pieces of classic fiction that I can share directly, and elements of the media I love and games I like that build on the themes of dread and horror. It is a time for the mood of a turning season, for when people are watching scary movies, when horror narratives get to take the fore, but also, the ideas of gore and schlock and violence are treated a little differently.

Throughout the month I will be serving articles about horror topics, yes, about ways to make, build and instil horror in narratives you’re working, in games that touch on the horrible and the dark, all that stuff, but there’s also going to be a special different feature for the blog. Each week, I present a Dread Reading, in which I take a short story that’s publically available, and read it to you. You can hear me talk about the story, and how I present its ideas, or you can read the original text and jump to the end of the audio to hear what I have to say about it.

The origin of this was reading some of my favourite Lovecraft stories onto the blog, and then commenting on them directly; it seemed to me for a public domain story, there was a strange silliness to try and present articles about the work without some kind of way of presenting the text directly. You know, if this story is public domain, why not just show you it, then comment on it? I think the first work I really wanted to do this with was the story from Lovecraft about the guy who discovered he was related to an actual ape, but don’t worry: good old Howard Poward Loward based that story on the discovery that his grandmother was actually Welsh.

Blood quanta is bloody preposterous, let me tell you.

I mean my grandmother is Welsh and it hasn’t given me any special insights into the horror of the world around me. Anyway, come with me this month, and pay attention to the content warnings.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[dem-obscure-imagines]

Second Chances

Ben Hargreeves x Reader

Fandom: The Umbrella Academy

Summary: With new threats about, the Umbrella Academy is looking for new members to (potentially) help save the world and your healing abilities make you the perfect candidate to join.

Note: Idk why I’ve been in a Ben Hargreeves mood these past few days, but have some fluff. Set in a no time travel no apocalypse au?

Warnings: Very mild mentions of death

Word Count: 1.2k

Reader is: Gender Neutral

When you’d called the Umbrella Academy claiming to be gifted like they were, the others were, admittedly, skeptical. Several times throughout their childhood, the Hargreeves had met countless parents with children they claimed to be special, and none of them ever actually were. But, with Reginald dead and world-ending threats lurking around every corner, the remaining Hargreeves siblings were a little more…open to having more help around.

So, you arrived at the house, with little more than your messenger bag, your laptop, your favorite mug, and some clothes. You figured you shouldn’t bring too many things in case they kicked you right back out, but they wouldn’t have any reason to. You really were gifted.

The monkey butler, named Pogo, welcomed you in, and a nice woman named Grace made a cup of tea for you, and in the meantime, the rest of the siblings slowly assembled in the living room. The first of whom was Klaus, who, as usual, was bored.

“So you’re the one who called, huh?” He asked, sizing you up.

“Yep. I’m (Y/N).”

“And what’s your ability?” Klaus asked, plopping down on the couch across from you.

“We’ll let them show us when everyone else gets here.” Luther asserted, entering the room. “Nice to meet you, by the way.”

“Nice to meet you, too.” You said politely, sipping from the mug of tea. Off in the corner of the room, you felt a…presence. You looked over there, your eyes narrowed, and sure enough, there was a bundle of energy concentrated there. Almost as though…

Huh. Odd.

You caught Klaus staring at you when you glanced back that way and he smirked a little to himself, although he didn’t explain why it had caught his attention. Given your faint knowledge of the Umbrella Academy members, heralded as heroes while you were growing up, you were fairly certain he was Séance, which could only mean one thing…

It only took the others a few more minutes to get to the living room, and so once everyone was assembled, a man who had introduced himself as Diego said, “Alright, so what’s your thing?”

“I’m a healer. I have healing powers and they’re…kind of ridiculously powerful.” You told them.

“Healing powers are great, but we’re going to need you to prove it.” Luther crossed his arms, focused on you.

“Okay.” You shrugged. There was a dead plant sitting in a pot on the coffee table, so, you concentrated, green energy manifesting around your fingers. You flicked them onto the plant, and when you did, immediately, it perked up, its brown and withered leaves filling out and returning to the green color they had been weeks prior before it had died.

“Woah.” Allison smiled, staring at the now, very much alive plant. “That’s…incredible.”

“Thanks.” You chuckled. “It, uh, works on people, too. Obviously.”

“Right. Well, next time one of us is injured, we know where to find you. Welcome to the team.”

“Thank you.”

***

And so, you moved some more of your things in, which included a large amount of books. You liked reading, so a lot of your time spent at the school was in the living room, curled up with a book and a mug of tea.

It was on one of those occasions that Klaus approached you.

“You can see him, right?” He asked, motioning to the…presence that was lingering next to him. It migrated swiftly to one of the chairs in the living room, and Klaus looked at it, seemingly listening to it before turning his attention back to you. “When you first got here, you looked right at him.”

“I cannot see him, no, but I can feel him. I don’t know if that makes any sense…It’s like a magnetic field, kind of. There’s a pull to wherever he is.”

“Ah. Makes sense.” Klaus nodded. “This is Ben. My dead brother. Our dearly departed.”

“Oh, uh, sorry for your loss.” You said, unsure of how to respond to such a statement. “And nice to meet you, Ben.”

Klaus looked to Ben before repeating, “He says it’s nice to meet you, too. I have a question, though, are you into spirituality? Like witchcraft? Or is this part of your gift?”

“I’m…not sure, actually. I collect rocks, but more because they’re pretty than any other reason.” You thought for a long moment about just what he was insinuating. “Huh…”

“What?”

“Hold still.” You told the empty space where Ben was supposedly sitting, calling your power to your hand and watching as the green light flickered around your fingertips. Then, you flicked your wrist forward, sending the energy in that direction.

Then, suddenly, a young man in a black hoodie and leather jacket appeared in the chair in front of you, staring at you dumbfounded.

“Holy shit!” You jolted, gasping and staring at him. “I did not expect that to work, honestly.” You admitted, giggling.

“You can see me?” He asked, looking down at his hands and then pressing them to his cheeks to feel his skin.

“Yeah, and I can hear you, too.” You told him.

“Am I…?” Ben murmured softly, feeling the fabric of his hoodie. He pinched himself.

Klaus walked over and poked him a few times. “I mean, you feel pretty real to me.”

“How did you…How did you do that?”

“I have no idea, but I guess we can add necromancy to my list of powers.”

“Is there something going on in…here…?” Allison was standing in the doorway, looking into the room. Her eyes landed on Ben. Immediately she teared up. “B-Ben?”

“In the flesh. I think.” Ben chuckled, still not positive he was really alive after all of his years as a ghost. Tears brimmed his eyes too. “Been a while, huh?”

Allison rushed into the room and hugged him tightly, tears streaming down her cheeks, and once she was done, she went to gather the others while Klaus took his turn, giving his formerly dead brother a hug.

As soon as Klaus let go of him, Ben walked over towards you and knelt down in front of where you were sitting, taking your hand, tears streaming down his cheeks. “Thank you. So much. You have no idea how much this means to me.”

“Of course.” You said softly. “I’d say anytime, but I don’t want you to die again anytime soon, alright?”

“Right.” He laughed. “I’ll try to stick around a while longer this time.”

“Good.”

***

With Ben alive again, the occasion called for celebration, which meant some family bonding and drinks and music, and while you didn’t really feel like part of their mismatched family yet, the Hargreeves welcomed you quickly as one of their own, especially given that you had returned their brother to them.

And once the party was over and the others were slowly but surely going up to bed one by one, Ben made sure to single you out, approaching you with a smile brighter than the others said he’d ever smiled during his first life.

“I don’t mean to be too forward, but, um, second chances and all that…” Ben rubbed the back of his neck chuckling to himself and blushing for the first time in about a decade. “Do you maybe wanna go to the movies sometime? Or like out to dinner? I’d like to do something to repay you, and also…get to know you a little better? If that’s alright? If not, it’s totally cool, I just—”

“I’d love to, Ben. That’d be great.”

“Awesome. Cool. Um, Friday at seven?”

“Friday at seven.” You nodded, smiling. “It’s a date.”

[moonlit-imagines]

Dear Fear

Wanda Maximoff x reader

warnings:

a/n: post AOU, pre civil war. kinda. in a way

prompt:

“Delta to team, I think I’ve got something.” You whispered into your comms and heard nothing but static ringing through your ears. “Shit, comms are dead.” It looked like you’d be in this one alone. Lucky for you, most of the staff in this base were preoccupied with a threat on the outside, which cleared an easy path for you to get what you and the Avengers were here for.

The room was nearly pitch black, the only thing guiding you was the light blue illumination from the package that you were sent to retrieve. Without a second to lose, you kneeled down in front of it and began to unveil its contents, but not before a flash of light clouded your mind and brought you to your childhood home. You collapsed to the floor, hearing the faint whisperings of a worried Sokovian girl you had only recently met.

“Y/N? I am so sorry, I didn’t realize—I didn’t know that was you. Please be okay.” You heard her beg as she cradled you in her arms and called for help. “Steve, Natasha, anyone? I’m in the lower east wing, y/n is down.”

“What happened?” Natasha had asked the newest addition to the team and she fessed right up.

“It was my fault, it’s dark, they’re dressed like the enemy, I used my powers...” Wanda admitted in a tone of shame and turned to you. “I’m going to fix this.”

“It’s alright, Wanda,” Steve assured, picking up on her location, “we’ll be there in a few minutes. Sit tight and keep y/n safe.”

“I promise I will.” Wanda looked down at you and noticed you begin to squirm and react to the images playing inside your head. Wanda couldn’t help but tear up at the pain she was causing you, but she was unable to stop it. So she began to softly sing to you, rocking you back and forth gently to ease your mind in a more traditional manner.

“I can’t...no, please...” You muttered in your dreams and kicked your legs out in a brief fit. “I can’t control it.” Wanda listened to you, caressing your hair and hushing you until she noticed that it was starting to get hotter in there. It was long before she began to burn up.

Your powers were beginning to slip from your control and small bursts of fire came rushing from your body. You were warned beforehand on this mission that you were not to use your fire powers unless absolutely necessary because the heat could trigger the package that you were sent to collect.

And here you were next to the package, producing uncontrollable flames that were beginning to hurt Wanda. Through the pain she believed she deserved, she slowly set you down and took a few steps back, preparing to use her powers on you once more in order to contain your flames in a forcefield, letting it down after every burst to give you a chance for oxygen.

“Sorry I’m late!” Clint’s voice and footsteps echoed from down the hall. “The team’s tied up at the moment, I’m all they could spare.” He turned the corner to see you lying on your back against the formerly cold floor, and Wanda taking the best care of you that she could. “Oh, it’s worse than I thought.”

“I don’t know what to do, Clint.” Wanda strained herself trying to keep you contained.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, Wanda. Y/N’s gonna be okay.” Clint tried to ease her worries before brainstorming any type of solution. “Tony, come in?”

“This is Iron Man, leave a message after the beep.” He replied despite knowing the severity of the situation.

“Yeah, good one. We need a fire extinguisher down here, Tony. How fast can you be here?” Clint noticed that the fires were starting to get stronger and Wanda noticed that you’re nightmares weren’t calming down, they were getting more intense.

“Clint...they’re not cooling down.” Wanda tried to run toward you, but she was quickly grabbed by the shoulder to halt her from running directly into danger.

“Just...wait.” Clint was just as worried as Wanda, he loved you like family and it killed him to see you in such distress. It wasn’t long before another teammate made their way down to this lower level, just not the one that you guys were looking for.

“How’s y/n?” Natasha called out and saw you pulsating on the ground, and ran to your side despite the protests of her teammates. “Y/N? Hey, it’s Nat. I’m right here...I’m not going anywhere.” Wanda tensed up watching her get so close to you in this condition. You seemed to calm down for a few moments, but then began to glow an orangish-red, charging up on the inside.

“Natasha, get down!” Wanda shouted before lifting her hands and creating a barrier around you to protect her teammates and the structural integrity of the building. There was a flash of light that nearly blinded the three of them, then nothing but smoke under the red bubble that surrounded you. She was almost terrified to let it down and check the damage, but she walked forward and let down her guard to see you peacefully laying unconscious on the floor.

“Are they..?” Clint stepped closer and watched Wanda lean down and look into your head.

“They’re okay. Alive. Still having nightmares, but officially burnt out.” Wanda leaned down and placed a kiss on your forehead, then heard footsteps from the hallway once again. She propped your head up on her lap and held you gently as Cap and Tony finally arrived on the scene.

“Oh, great! You found the package.” Tony pointed to the glowing blue box that you had came to retrieve and everyone glared at him.

“And you missed all the action.” Nat crawled up from the floor and tapped the breastplate of his suit. “We need to get out of here and get y/n someplace safe so they can ride out the rest of this nightmare.”

“I really am sorry. I never wanted to hurt anyone.” Wanda admitted to Steve with tears welling in her eyes before he squatted down to lift you up.

“I trust you Wanda. I know it was a mistake.” He assured her with a nod. “But I think you might need to make it up to y/n somehow.”

“I know. I will.” She sighed and shook her head at her foolishness, knowing that this could have been avoided if she hadn’t made such an impulsive decision.

—————

Wanda kept you company while you were on bed rest, even though it took you three days to wake up. After more careful contemplation, she laid down beside you in bed, leaning one elbow up on a pillow as she concentrated her powers for something other than fear.

“I can fix this.” She told herself as she began to change your nightmares to happier thoughts, ones that would cool your mind off and stop you from kicking and screaming all night.

She did this all night until she passed out herself due to exhaustion. And in that time that she took her involuntary break, you finally woke up and saw her fast asleep next to you.

“Wanda?” You shook her shoulder a bit. “Wanda, wake up.” You saw her eyes flutter open and she looked you you in shock, almost if she didn’t believe you’d ever wake up again.

“Oh, I’m so glad you’re okay!” She hopped on top of you and took you in for a hug. “You are okay, correct?”

“I’m okay, thanks for asking.” You chuckled and let her go so that she could sit on your lap.

“Y/N. I dearly apologize for hurting you. I never—I never wanted to hurt you like that and I will never do it again, I promise.” Wanda’s apology was one of the most sincere you’d ever heard since Steve walked in on you changing.

“I forgive you, Wanda. It’s okay.” You held onto her hands and squeezed them tightly. “How long was I out?”

“Three days...” She told you.

“Three days?! Shit, I missed my show!” You gasped and giggled with Wanda as she fell to your side.

“Don’t worry, I recorded it for you.” Wanda proudly informed you.

“‘Recorded’ it?” You chuckled at the thought and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you very much. Wanna watch it with me?”

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedficrecs // @johnmurphyisqueer // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @xuxinoir // @ofthedewthesunlight // @canarypoint // @zoeyserpentluck // @randomawesomeperson102 // @brutal-out-here // @wonderful-writer // @of-a-chaotic-mind // @groovyfluxie // @procrastinatingsapphictrash // @lxncelot // @swanimagines // @randomfandomimagine // @petersgroupie // @dindjarinsspouse // @werewolf-himbo // @lost-fantasy // @legolas-with-hearing-aids // @moobrvoobl-moobmoob-oobmpoobroom // @summersimmerus // @cipheress-to-k-pop //

[dracosathenaeum]

Something Precious

Summary: You and Draco realise your feelings for each other when he ends up at the bottom of the Black Lake during the Triwizard tournament that you are a champion for.

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Slytherin!reader

Warnings: Some swear words

Word Count: 2,321

Requested by anon! I hope this meets your expectations 🥺 (I changed the wording slightly, so instead of Treasure, I used precious as it just fitted slightly better here, sorry if it bugs you :3)

“Don’t touch me you filthy little mudblood.” You sighed, why was it always you that had to stand up for the first years. You’d think that by now Draco would’ve gotten used to your scolding and would get bored of picking on the helpless first years.

“Draco! I told you to stop calling the muggle-borns that, lay off the derogatory terms you shit.” You were pretty much the only person (other than the golden trio) that would stand up to Malfoy. But you were however the only one in the school who he would actually listen to. The two of you basically grew up together so you were used to putting up with each other. By now you wondered if Draco only kept picking on the younger years to wind you up.

“I’m just calling them what they are, don’t be upset love.” He said with a wink and his signature smirk. You don’t know when it had started but somewhere along the line, ironic flirting had started between the two of you. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy it though.

“I’m not upset Draco darling; I simply want you to take that stick on the floor and stick it up your arse.” Draco flushing a deep pink was worth having to call him these ridiculous pet names.

“Thank you, Y/N!” the little Gryffindor squeaked.

“You’re supposed to be courageous right? Malfoy isn’t even scary, he’s very… ferret like.” And with a wink thrown over your shoulder to Draco, you were on your way. You weren’t by any means popular or well-loved by the school, it was more like you had their respect. You were still a Slytherin after all, you just stood up for the ones Draco and other Slytherins were especially cruel to. Simple name calling you could turn a blind eye to but the hexes and use of “mudblood” was just unnecessary.

That was probably why instead of boos, you simply got applauded when your name was pulled from the goblet. You weren’t in it for the ‘eternal glory’ you were just bored at Hogwarts. These deadly tasks sounded like something to get your mind off of everything, besides now that ‘The Chosen One’ was also competing, you had extra motivation to win the whole thing.

That being said… Potter tipping you off about the first task was probably the single worst feeling you’ve ever had in your life. The feeling of owing someone, let alone Potter, a favour. But he had saved your life, without his tip off you don’t know if you could’ve won that task. I mean it was dragons, DRAGONS. But your victory meant firewhiskey parties in the Slytherin common room for a week straight so you wouldn’t complain too much. You definitely kept it to yourself though, the thought of the rest of your house finding out you were saved by Potter made you shudder.

“Surprised you’re still alive Y/L/N, though I suppose someone has to beat Potter. His head is big enough.”

“Don’t look so happy to see me Malfoy.” Sarcasm dripping from you voice.

5 seconds of eye contact was all it took for you to be pulled into his arms, a breathe you didn’t know you were holding finally being released. You allowed yourself a couple seconds to enjoy to be held, it wasn’t often that you and Draco hugged despite having grown up together.

“I’m glad you’re alive Y/N/N, I need someone other than mudbloods to make fun of.”

“Shut up Malfoy, don’t ruin this.”

“Don’t fall in love with me yeah? I know I’m hot but you’re not really my type, though being a pure blood does help.” Smacking his chest, you pulled away from his hold. “God you are insufferable, now help me figure out how to work this stupid egg so I can tell Potter and not have to owe him anymore.” Draco was your one exception to the ‘tell no one that you owe Potter rule’ you set yourself, besides, you couldn’t hide anything from him. He’d find out sooner or later.

You had spent weeks with that egg, trying to figure out how to open it without the deaf-curdling screams. It was only when you convinced Draco to sneak you into the prefect’s bath (nothing in that dingy castle could compare to the prefect’s bath), that you figured it out. Though it took an awful lot longer to decipher it but being even with Potter again made every blood-curdling screech worth it.

The yule ball was a whole other catastrophe. Watching couples slow dance for hours on end sounded like utter hell to you, which is why you practically threw a fit when you were told champions had to lead the first dance.

“Draco stop laughing at me, they want me to dance; they want me, me to hold some guy against me and dance in front of 3 schools. I was content to stand by the food and make fun of the Weasley’s tattered robes or Potter’s awkward dancing but now I actually have to join in? I should just quit now.”

“You fought dragons Y/N; a dance is nothing. Besides we’ve been going to  balls for years, you should be used to it by now.” He did have a point, maybe all those long boring parties your parents would throw would finally serve a purpose for you.

“Pansy’s been trying to corner me for weeks, honestly I’d rather slow dance with your flat arse than hers. Besides, then we could make fun of Weasley together.”

You thought it over but not for very long, you knew he’d be the only one you’d willingly go to the ball with, well the only one you could tolerate for so long that is. Besides, the two of you had made it through countless balls together, what’s one more.

“Fine, but you’re buying me a new dress.”

“What? That wasn’t an invitation? I was just joking. Hang on, you have just as much money as me! Pay for your own damn dress.” You turned and made your way to the girl’s dorms, blowing a kiss towards the flustered blonde on the sofa. “Make sure it’s velvet or silk, nothing cheap either, else I’m telling you mother.”

And that’s how the both of you went to the Yule Ball together. Waltzing like you had done for so many years in the Malfoy manor and stuffing your faces, as you made fun of Ron Weasley’s robes and Potter’s pathetically sad looking face. Though you had to admit, Hermione was the focus of the night, no matter how good you looked in the dress Draco got for you, there was no denying all eyes were on her and the Durmstrang champion. As you climbed into the bed that night, a soft smile stretched across your face, the Yule ball wasn’t so bad with Draco as company you supposed.

===========================================================================

Which brought you to where you are now; stood in the freezing cold ready to dive into the equally freezing water. Calming yourself, you ran through your plan again. Cast the bubble-head charm, collect whatever ‘precious item’ Dumbledore was talking about and once you were out you would find Draco Malfoy and kill him. He had promised he would be there to help you prepare the night before; yet you spent the entire evening alone in the Slytherin common room waiting like some bloody girl being stood up.

You knew you weren’t traditional friends (if you could even call yourselves that) but you thought at the very least he’d be there for you when you really needed him. Swimming had never really been your strong point after watching your cousin drown during your childhood, but that was a story for another day. After all these years, you really thought despite everything he’d be with you when you needed him most.

The canon went off, startling you from your thoughts as you quickly cast you charm and dove into the water, taking a second to adjust to the freezing water and calm your nerves. You really should have learnt a body warming spell. You watched as the other 3 swam straight through the village and watched as Fleur was attacked by Grindylows. “Better her than me.” You thought.

You swam through the murky water and eerie village until you reached four figures afloat in the water. You swam toward them and recognised Weasley and Granger straight away, of course the golden trio would be making an appearance even here. Yet it was the mop of blonde hair that made your heart skip. ‘Something precious has been taken from you.’ Draco was your precious something!? You saw a young girl next to him, probably Fleur’s sister. Why was it Draco who was taken? Why wasn’t it your own sister who was just 3 years younger than you? God you were going to get an earful from the both of them after this.

Swimming closer you realised how gaunt he looked, you felt like you’d never truly looked at his face til this moment in time. Not even when slow dancing that night at the Yule Ball. He looked so different yet so similar to when you first met him at the age of 5. Both of your parents cooing as tubby little Malfoy held his tiny hand out to ask you for a dance.

For once he looked peaceful, rather than the sneer he always had at Hogwarts or his blank look at home around his parents and yours.

You slashed his bonds with a nearby rock, deciding to just get out of the water as soon as possible, you couldn’t bear to be in the water with your heart thumping this fast any longer. Turning to give one last look at Potter you could see the disgust on his face as he stared at the unconscious boy in your arms. You threw a glare and the rock at him before swimming away, feeling slightly sorry for the poor French girl left behind.

You were the first to break out of the water, Krum following shortly behind.

“What?? Where am I? Y/N?!” Draco spluttered, coughing the water from his lungs before wrapping an arm around you and keeping the both of you afloat.

“You can ask questions later, I’m exhausted, can you please just swim us back to the stands.” He didn’t need more instructions, knowing you hated the water, he pulled you against him as he swam straight for the closest stands.

Everyone cheered as the both of you were pulled from the water and wrapped in towels. You had won first place but that was the last thing you were thinking about.  

“Draco is your precious item? I always knew there was more going on between you two than you admitted!” You could kill Blaise then and there, you decided. Though you supposed the glare you received from Pansy was worth the humiliation, just a little.

“Y/N? What’s Blaise talking about? All I remember is Professor Snape asking to see me last night as I was walking to meet you in the common room and the next thing I know I’m freezing my ass off in the water with you. I mean is it even legal to do this to a student? My father will be hearing about this.” You could barely meet his eyes at this point, you were just as confused as he was, but you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at his last comment.

Did you have feelings for Draco? Sure, you grew up together and had a love-hate relationship the whole time but that was the extent of it. You didn’t like Draco, surely, you’d know right?

“Something precious was taken from each of us, Krum got Granger; Potter, Weasley; and Fleur got her sister. I guess Dumbledore thought your sorry arse was precious to me or something.”

“Oooo does my darling Y/L/N have a crush on me? I thought you- and I quote- hated the sight of my stupid face?”

“In your dreams Malfoy, now shut up I want to hear them announce me as the winner.” In reality you could care less about the announcement, just wanting to change the subject as fast as possible. Your eyes went to Potter, along with everyone elses, as he shot out the water like a bloody dolphin. You would give him credit where credit was due though, saving just Draco was hard enough, Potter had saved both Weasley and the Delacour girl.

“You know, if you wanted me all you had to do was ask? Obviously, I’m very attractive and my father is very important but don’t be intimidated-”

“Shut up you git.” God if he wasn’t going to shut his stupid mouth, you’d make him, one way or another. The ‘other way’ as it happened was you grabbing his face between your palms and pressing your lips to his.

Draco wrapped his arms around you to pull you closer, deepening the kiss. You giggled into the kiss as everyone around you cheered; you didn’t think you were a fan of PDA but after kissing Malfoy, you couldn’t care less. You pulled away and nuzzled yourself into him, the both of you still ice cold from the swim but hearts beating fast.

You never thought you’d get a boyfriend from this tournament but being there in his arms, despite freezing your ass off, you were happier in that moment than you had been in a long time. There was nowhere you’d rather be.

“Be my girlfriend?”

“Shut up and kiss me Malfoy.” You both smiled into the kiss, loving how natural it felt to be with him like this. Completely ignoring the winner’s announcements and instead focusing on how happy you felt. 

Life was looking more bearable by the second.

Well until you got killed by Voldemort that is.

I See The Light can be read as a loose sequel describing this moment

#A/N: I literally had the HP wiki page open the entire time, it’s my first time writing a changed story line, something with a proper plot. I hope it was okay, please let me know if I got anything wrong or if something should be improved! Also sorry for the crappy ending :33

Thank you for reading!

Add yourself to my taglist!

[blossom-hwa]

Skipping Stones - KEVIN

This was the second full scenario I ever finished for The Boyz and I think it was pretty nice to start with some soft Kevin :D THANK YOU KAI FOR LETTING ME YELL TO YOU ABOUT THIS ONE I HOPE IT LIVES UP TO YOUR EXPECTATIONS. 

Anyway! Happy (slightly early but only by a couple hours??) birthday to one of the best boys in the world, the one and only wonderful beautiful lovely Kevin Moon! I hope you all enjoy this <3 please reblog if you did!

Pairing: Kevin x gender neutral!reader

Genre: fluff, teacher!au

Triggers: cursing, alcohol

Word Count: 7.8k

Falling in love with you, Kevin thinks, is a bit like skipping stones. 

Alternatively:

Five times Kevin felt himself falling deeper in love with you, and the one time he knew he was gone.

TBZ Masterlist | Touching Stars | Breathe, and Live

prelude.

Kevin knows he exists to be clowned. His sister says it’s something about his face – there’s something undeniably meme-y about his reactions, apparently, that makes him very clownable. His students tell him it’s in his demeanor – he comes off as pretty chill, according to them, which makes him easy to tease because they know he’ll react in some hilarious way, but it won’t affect him too deeply.

(Changmin just says he’s stupid, which makes him clownable to the highest degree, but Kevin refuses to take information from the teacher who still scares him every other week with whichever horror movie mask has recently caught his fancy.)

So Kevin knows he’s just a clownable human being, and he’s resigned himself to that fate for the rest of his life. But around you? His calm, collected, hilarious, wonderful partner? He expected a little less clownery and a little more loving.

“Oh, come on,” you laugh, trying to get Kevin to turn around. Honestly, he’s already feeling the effects of withdrawal from not seeing your smile for more than a few minutes, but he refuses to budge, lips curved downwards in a semi-permanent pout. He knows he won’t be able to keep this up for long (he’ll miss looking at your face too much, and really, he can’t be mad at you about anything), but he can make a scene. “Kevin!”

“You’re so mean,” he whines, still resisting your efforts to make him look at you. “I just poured out a very embarrassing part of my childhood to you and instead of comforting me, you laugh?” His pout deepens. “I don’t know why we’re dating.”

Your hands leave the back of his shoulders. For a second, Kevin thinks you’ve given up and he’s about to start whining about that too, but then you appear in front of him, fingers clasped placatingly. “All right, all right, Kevin.” Still grinning, you grab his hands. “I won’t tease anymore. But seriously, how could you expect me not to laugh my ass off when you told me you learned to skip stones for the –” you make jazz hands, presumably to emphasize your point – “aesthetic?”

Kevin sticks his lip out childishly. “I didn’t think it was that funny,” he mumbles.

“It’s not, not really.” You squeeze his hands. “But it’s a move that’s got Kevin Moon stamped all over it.” As if to accentuate your point, you snort. “Of course you’d learn to skip stones for the aesthetic.”

“Y/N,” he whines.

“Fine, fine, I’ll stop.” Your teasing grin melts into an eager smile. “Hey, teach me?”

“Right now?”

“Why not?”

It feels like Kevin’s physically crumbling to pieces with the way your hopeful voice and sparkling eyes just attack him from all angles. Grudgingly, the deep pout on his lips stretches into a smile, the starstruck smile that all of his friends like to tease him for. “Fine, let’s go.”

He spends the rest of the afternoon stepping around small children and younger couples, trying to find suitable rocks for skipping and teaching you the right angles, the right stance, the right way to hold the stone in your hand before sending it into the water. You learn fast, something he envies – where it took him at least a couple of weeks to perfect the art, you (mostly) pick it up in a matter of hours – but he can’t feel too jealous or too bad when you look up at him after your stone skips once on the water. “Kevin, I did it!” You shake him slightly. “Did you see that?”

The softest smile spreads across Kevin’s face as he kisses your forehead softly “Yeah, I did.”

When he pulls away, you give him the brightest grin before scrambling away to find more stones to skip. Kevin just watches, taking in the way your figure looks against the setting sun, bright gold and pale pink light streaming over your body, almost making you glow.

This is why he fell in love with you, he thinks. Your character, your tenacity, the way you throw yourself into every task you’ve been assigned so that you can complete it as best as you can. It doesn’t matter if you’re trying to treat a new cancer case at the hospital or trying to skip a stupid rock across the water. You always give it your all.

Idly, Kevin picks up a stone of his own. With a practiced flick of his wrist, it goes sailing onto the lake, skipping three, four, five times before sinking beneath the surface.

Falling in love with you is a bit like skipping stones, he thinks, watching the stone disappear from sight. Someone had to force him into that first blind date with you, much like making the first toss of the stone into the water, but every skip after that was quick, effortless, the way he felt himself falling for you, step by stumbling step, until his heart finally gave in and sank below the waves of your warmth.

It’s hard to imagine a time when he wasn’t in love with you, even though such a time did at one point exist. But the way you make him feel with the smallest things you do – the way you scrunch your eyebrows in confusion, the way you rest your chin on your hand in thought – it feels like he’s known you for an eternity and loved you even longer, loved you before time existed.

Your stone skips twice across the water and you shout with joy, racing up to Kevin to celebrate. He catches you when you leap at him, arms wrapping around your waist automatically, smiling into your shining face. Yes, he thinks, he’s in love.

He’s so in love with you.

. . . . .

i.

Kevin, by all definitions of the word, is panicking.

He’s been dreading this blind date for almost a month now, circling the day on his calendar and marking it D-Day, begging Jacob and Changmin to come along and hide in case he needs to be bailed out, relentlessly praying that he’ll be able to leave the stupid date in one piece.

(Look, as much as he appreciates Mrs. Park’s kindness and her brownies, she can be… a little overbearing. To say the least.)

Just a few hours ago, he was putting on his yellow sweater and bemoaning the existence of his pushy coworker. Just a few hours ago, he was lamenting his fate to his two friends (friends is a term he will use loosely for today – all they did was laugh at him). Just a few hours ago, he was cursing the existence of Mrs. Park and her brownies for getting him locked into this date with her sister’s kid. Wait, was it her sister? Or her brother?

(“Yes, her sister,” Changmin says, rolling his eyes. “Pay more attention, won’t you, Kev?”

Kevin groans. “Why couldn’t either of you be chosen by Mrs. Park, huh? Why me?”

“Because I have a partner and Jacob is good at disappearing.” Changmin grins that evil, evil grin he always has on just before he’s about to execute a prank on someone (usually Kevin).

“More like the two of you are good at leaving me to fend for myself against Mrs. Park, even though you know I can’t say no to shit,” Kevin grumbles.

“Give up her brownies,” Jacob suggests.

Kevin gasps. “No way in hell.”)

But now, he’s actually sitting across from you in a café not too far from his apartment, holding a cup of coffee between his (visibly shaking) hands. And he can’t even think of why he was dreading this date so much because you’re just… really, really perfect.

Why are you so sweet? he’s screaming inside. Why are you so funny? Why are you literally the perfect mix of snark and kindness and just – everything?

“So my aunt told me you work with her,” you say, seemingly oblivious to Kevin’s jitters. The smile on your face is really sending electricity racing through his heart. “I know the children must be fun, but I know she can be a bit… overbearing.” There’s a hint of apology in your eyes, like you know your aunt must have pressured him into this and you’re sorry that he had to come on a date with you.

Kevin’s stomach flip-flops. Okay, so Mrs. Park maybe did severely pressure and sweetly blackmail Kevin into a blind date. But Kevin also doesn’t want you to feel bad for it because it’s not your fault at all, so as usual, when he finds himself in a tight spot, his mouth decides it’s time to run.

“No, your aunt is really nice,” he starts. “I really mean it – she’s always very kind to the kids and to the rest of us teachers. I’m still kind of new compared to the rest of them – I’ve only been at the school for a few years now – but she helped me feel welcome that first year when I was still figuring things out. And she also likes Beyonce! You know, the greatest female artist there is? She let me play my entire playlist of Beyonce songs for her last year and she liked every single one of them!”

Kevin’s babbling now. Rambling. Whatever he wants to call it. His brain is screaming for him to stop talking but his mouth won’t stop running because this is what he does when he’s nervous. He talks. Endlessly.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees the table where Changmin and Jacob are situated in case they need to rescue him from mental or physical harm. The top of Changmin’s head is barely visible behind a huge menu so Kevin can barely see his friend, but somewhere in his babbling haze, he notices a phone camera poking out from behind the menu.

If he wasn’t blushing before, he definitely is now.

Finally, his mouth listens to his brain and he trails off on his last thought on why Beyonce is the best artist in the entire world. There’s a second of silence.

“Sorry,” Kevin finally squeaks. “I… tend to ramble when I get nervous. Or when I talk about Beyonce.”

Your smile flashes even wider. Kevin is torn between wanting to melt into the ground out of embarrassment and staying upright to keep seeing that grin on your face. 

“Don’t be sorry,” you laugh, fiddling with your cup of coffee. “I thought it was cute.”

Kevin’s face burns so much that he misses what you say next. “Sorry?”

You grin. “I’m always interested in hearing about a new artist to add to my playlist.”

Kevin lets out a theatrical gasp. “You don’t have Beyonce in your music library?”

A sheepish look spreads across your face. “… No?”

“Oh my God.” Kevin pulls out his phone. “Okay, I’m about to educate you on the artist of our time.”

The afternoon, then, passes in a flash. Changmin and Jacob eventually just up and exit the café (presumably with enough blackmail to last the rest of Kevin’s life – he knows he was acting like a complete fool, but luckily, you didn’t seem to care), leaving him alone with you. Under any other circumstances, he probably would’ve started crying, but you’re so sweet and so interesting that Kevin thinks he could stay and talk to you in this café forever.

He learns you’re an oncologist at a nearby children’s hospital, that even though the work is hard and tiring and sometimes overwhelmingly depressing, the strength of the children and the families you work with inspire you to keep going every day. He learns that you don’t have too much of a sweet tooth (though you won’t say no to ice cream or cheesecake, both of which he notes in his head), he learns that you love coffee, and he learns that you like to take walks in the park whenever you have a little bit of free time.

He also learns that you’re snarky, intelligent, driven, hardworking. He learns that you’re something far beyond the beauty of your face – that underneath your skin, there’s a heart that’s warmer than the sun.

Kevin understands that this is only the first date and that he maybe shouldn’t be making judgments so quickly. But he’s been told that he’s a relatively good judge of character, and the genuine look in your eyes when you talks speaks volumes about the person deep inside.

Even though you live further away, Kevin takes the bus with you to your home, citing that it’s only polite to walk one’s date to the door (in reality, he just wants to spend a little more time with you). As the bus rattles along the road, Kevin lets you listen to the songs on his phone, delighting in the way your head bobs to the beat of his favorite tracks.

Kevin’s a bit sad when you reach your apartment, sad that your time together is over for the day. He lingers outside the building for a moment, trying to work up the courage to ask about a second date.

Suddenly, you lean forward. Kevin jerks back – he briefly wonders if you’re trying to kiss him – but you just pat a spot on his sweater, frowning slightly at your fingers. “Is that… paint?”

Oh my God.

Kevin tugs the material of his sweater forward so he can see the spot you’re pointing at. Sure enough, there’s a small patch of red paint on the yellow fuzz. He groans. “I didn’t even notice.”

“Well, that’s what people like us get for working with children.” You roll your eyes comically, and Kevin bursts into laughter that’s definitely too loud for the small joke you made. Then silence falls again.

You break it. “Listen, Kevin.”

He perks up. “Hmm?”

“I’ll admit, I wasn’t exactly looking forward to this date because my aunt has been trying to set me up with people my age for several years now.” For the first time today, you look shy. “She was probably really pushy with you too, so I’m sorry about that. But I really enjoyed this afternoon.” You meet Kevin’s eyes. “If you’d like, I’d love to go on a second date.”

Kevin’s heart explodes. It really does. Sheer excitement courses through his veins, and he has to stop himself from smiling widely enough to mimic a god damn clown. “I’d love that,” he says trying to hide how eager he really is. “Um, I’ll say that I wasn’t exactly looking forward to this either, mostly because my experience with blind dates has had… limited success. But I’m really glad I met you. You’re a wonderful person.”

Your smile grows wider at Kevin’s admission. “Thank you, Kevin. You’re wonderful too.”

“Do you kiss on the first date?” he blurts out because his brain has no filter. Then he backtracks. “Um, it’s totally okay if you don’t, I was just asking, please don’t think I’m a creep –”

You briefly press your lips to his. Kevin shuts up.

When you break away, Kevin honestly thinks you’re glowing. “Does that answer your question?” you ask, bravely trying to hide something – is that embarrassment? Whatever it is, he thinks it’s adorable.

Kevin blushes. “Yes.”

People probably think he’s insane with the way he’s smiling on the bus ride back to his apartment. He can’t help it, though – the tingling touch of your lips, gentle against his, plays over and over in his mind, along with memories of your lovely voice and your lovely smile and your lovely, lovely disposition. Some people are giving him weird looks, and Jacob and Changmin are sure to tease him to no end when he comes in to work tomorrow.

But who cares? Kevin’s got a second date in the works with one of the most wonderful people he’s ever met.

In his mind, he’s on top of the world.

. . . . .

ii.

Usually, when Kevin gets lucky and scores a second date or a third, he suggests taking his date somewhere with children to gauge how they feel about small toddlers tearing up the place. Children are a huge part of Kevin’s life – he teaches elementary school and knows he wants kids when he gets a bit older – so one of the silent standards he’s set for potential significant others is that they have to like and be good with children.

You work at a children’s hospital, Kevin knows, so you must at least be good with kids, even if you might not like them (hey, it’s possible – Kevin has known many people who are good at things they hate). That fulfills half of the standard. He just needs to gauge the other half.

There aren’t many events at the school coming up, though – no plays, no art exhibitions, nothing he can really invite you to. He’s racking his brains for a third date somehow involving children when you unexpectedly call him about an event at the hospital.

“I know it’s last minute,” you apologize profusely, “but the guy who was supposed to come today for the kids’ music hour called in sick. I don’t want to cancel the event because they always look forward to it and I know you play the piano – would it be possible for you to fill in?”

It is possible, it turns out. He may not be able to pack his Yamaha upright into the back of your car, but he does have an electronic keyboard that fits into your trunk. The whole way there, you’re apologizing, but between reassurances that it’s totally fine, Kevin can’t help but anticipate how you’ll act around the children once the two of you arrive.

Setting up takes more time than he’d like (the extension cord that comes with his keyboard is too short, so you disappear on a twenty-minute manhunt for a longer one while Kevin just stands there awkwardly), which makes him feel slightly like a burden on the rest of your coworkers. They’re so polite, though, so genuine and kind, that Kevin eventually starts to feel more at ease.

(He’s still endlessly grateful when you return, extension cord clasped victoriously in one hand.)

Then the kids start trickling in, and Kevin’s heart immediately both breaks and melts. Some are in wheelchairs, others have lost their hair, but they’re all smiling with so much excitement, chattering to their parents and the staff around them as they settle on beanbags and pillows on the floor. Several look at him curiously and he smiles at them, prompting several questions about who he is, why there’s a keyboard and not a guitar, and why the normal guy isn’t here.

“The usual guy got sick and couldn’t come,” Kevin says to one sweet girl with chubby cheeks and shining eyes. “I’m just here to replace him for a day.”

“Do you play the piano?” she asks, shyly pointing at the keyboard, which more than a few curious souls are standing around.

Kevin smiles. “Yes, I do.” He would say more, maybe offer to show her the instrument a little, but then you’re walking over, and her eyes brighten. “Dr. L/N!” she cheers.

With a loud laugh, you swoop her up carefully, cradling the girl against your shoulder. “How are you, Daeun?” you ask, lips spread in a smile that Kevin knows can’t be faked.

The girl – Daeun – grins. “I’ve been good!” she announces proudly. “Are we going to start soon?”

You laugh again, settling her back down on the floor. Kevin thinks his heart melts with the way your eyes sparkle. “Yes, we are,” you say. “I see you’ve already met Kevin?”

“Your name is Kevin?” Daeun looks at him curiously. “Your name is strange.”

Kevin has to force himself not to coo. “I was born in Canada,” he says. “My Korean name is Hyungseo.”

Daeun’s nose scrunches. “I like Kevin more,” she decides with finality.

Kevin feels brave enough to pat her on the head. “Then you can call me Kevin.”

“All right, Daeun. Go find your mom, okay? Kevin and I are going to finish setting up, and then we’ll get started.” With a soft kiss on the forehead (Kevin makes a sound he really hopes you don’t hear – the scene is just too adorable), you send the small girl off, turning back to Kevin. “Shall we get started?” you ask, grinning widely.

It may only be the third date, but he’s falling in love, Kevin thinks, falling in love with your shining face and sparkling eyes, with the way you shower love upon the children you’ve placed under your care. Right now, you’re everything he’s ever wanted in a future partner – beautiful in character, kind, gentle, fiercely loving.

His heart pounds a little faster.

Belatedly, Kevin realizes you’re waiting for a response and nods quickly. “Yeah,” he breathes, eyes glancing over the sea of children waiting (somewhat) patiently. A smile to rival yours spreads across his face. “Let’s get started.”

. . . . .

iii.

Kevin loves the last Friday of every month, he really does. It’s been tradition for several years now to go out with Changmin and Jacob on what he calls nights for “the boyz” to eat cheap food and get drunk. And no matter how much the others complain about the stupid name (Kevin will admit it sounds stupid now, but that doesn’t mean he’ll change it), he knows they enjoy the nights all the same.

Sometimes, though, Kevin just wishes he had more of a filter on his mouth. If not that, then maybe his brain could stop remembering every single dumb thing he said or did on drunk nights out. It would make his life a lot easier if he could just forget being stupid.

But no, God decided to be mean when making Kevin Moon. So Kevin, as a result, is an emotional drunk. He cries a lot when he hears about sad or adorable things, he says a lot of stupid stuff to (badly) express his overwhelming feelings, and worst of all, he remembers all of it when he wakes up hungover the next morning.

(None of this stops him from getting drunk anyway. Kevin Moon doesn’t learn lessons when it comes to alcohol. When he falls on his face (sometimes literally), he just gets up again, even if it’s with a bloody nose.)

Luckily, the night doesn’t end in chaos. Even though Jacob, who’s half of Kevin’s impulse control, leaves after an hour (he’s meeting with his family the next day, so Kevin is obligated call him a noob – it’s like a law of physics or something), Changmin doesn’t seem to be in the mood to do weird things without Jacob there to stop him, so the night passes relatively smoothly without Kevin throwing, like, a tantrum or anything.

He gets close, though. Because damn, if Changmin isn’t so fucking adorable when talking about his partner. Buried in his purple hoodie, black hair peeking softly over the top, it’s impossible for Kevin not to tear up when Changmin begins gushing over his beautiful, amazing, wonderful significant other whom he just compared to stardust.

Stardust.

Kevin wants to scream, that’s so romantic.

When you come to pick him and Changmin up, Kevin can’t resist relaying all of this to you as soon as he gets in the car. Vaguely, he thinks he should be worried about Changmin hearing it and hitting him, but the boy is mostly asleep in the back, eyes only fluttering slightly when you go over a bump or something. After Changmin gets dropped off at his apartment, Kevin turns the gushing on full force.

“Y/N, the love of my life, he called her stardust,” he’s still babbling even as you strongarm him up to his own apartment. “He’s so adorable. Changmin is so adorable. Oh my God.”

He thinks you snort. Probably. It would be a normal response. “Didn’t you call him the spawn of Satan just a few days ago?”

Definitely a snort, Kevin thinks, but he’s too invested in Changmin’s loveliness to whine about you making fun of him. “Y/N,” he pouts instead, “listen to meeeeee.”

“I’m listening, I’m listening.” You grunt, catching him just as he misses the next step and almost falls forward. “Hey, be careful.”

“’M trying.” Kevin manfully does his best to stop the world from tilting on its side. “But Changminnie.”

“Yes, yes, Changminnie.” Even drunk, Kevin can make out the playful exasperation in your voice. “Keep going.”

“Thank you, love of my life.” Kevin tries to give you a kiss but his lips hit air instead of your cheek. “Heck.”

You burst into loud laughter. “Kevin Moon, you never told me you were this adorable when drunk.”

“Changminnie,” he says more insistently.

“Okay, yes, I’m listening.” You kiss his cheek instead, and Kevin almost topples over right then and there. “Hey, you can’t fall over whenever I kiss you. Tell me about Changmin.”

Kevin starts flailing his arms around as best he can. “He’s so cute!” he half-yells. “He told me his partner was like stardust because she’s so perfect and warm, but she’s also like stardust because… because…”

His lip juts out.

“Oh, no, don’t cry, Kev.” You stop moving, then Kevin registers you bundling him into a hug, patting his head. “I know you’re a sad emotional drunk, but don’t cry.”

“Not crying,” Kevin protests, visibly crying.

“Mhm.” You pat his head one last time before letting go. “Hey, give me a second, I’m going to unlock your door.”

There’s some fumbling and a quiet snick, then Kevin obediently follows you through the door of his apartment. Once inside, you press a thumb to the side of his face, brushing a tear away. “Tell me what Changmin said to make you sad.”

“Changminnie said he’s afraid she’ll… she’ll… slip away between his fingers. Like stardust.” Kevin feels like he’s going to start sobbing any moment now. “He’s afraid she’s going to leave him eventually because she’s too perfect and he’s not good enough.”

“Oh my God.” You sit down on the couch. Kevin follows suit, albeit a lot more ungracefully as he collapses onto a cushion in a tangle of limbs. “Oh my God, that’s so sad and cute at the same time.”

“I said he should call her his star,” Kevin mumbles, turning slightly so he can burrow into your side. “Because stardust. Texted them about it. Both of them.”

Your laugh sounds like music even to the drunken haze of his brain. “Wonder what they’ll think when they see a drunken keysmash on their phones first thing tomorrow morning.”

The two of you sit in silence for a bit. Kevin feels his eyes beginning to get droopy, and he almost falls asleep before a thought strikes him with lightning force.

“I need to give you a nickname!” he almost yells, sitting bolt upright. The movement makes the room spin, but he doesn’t care. This is urgent. “Changmin’s going to call her his star, but I haven’t given you a nickname yet!”

“Kev, Kev.” You hold him by the shoulders, and he relaxes a little. “You can come up with a nickname for me in the morning. Right now, I think you need to sleep.”

“No,” he whines, shifting in your grip. “This is important. You need a nickname.” He sinks into deep, drunken thoughts, the kinds of thoughts he has when he ignores everything around him in favor of getting philosophical after having drunk too much alcohol.

Then it hits him.

“Oh my God,” he gasps. “Oh my God.” It’s his turn to grab you by the shoulders, now. “Oh my God. You’re the sun. Because I’m the moon. Get it? Kevin Moon?”

Through his drunken haze, Kevin thinks he sees you smile, maybe. It looks like a smile.

Your eyes are sparkling. You look happy.

Probably a smile.

“I’m a genius,” he whispers. A genius for coming up with the nickname and for making you happy.

“Sure, Kevin.” You grunt a little as he shifts his weight. “Come on, get up. We’ll see if you’re still a genius tomorrow if you wake up and remember all of this.”

Kevin doesn’t register much for the rest of the night, just remembers falling into his bed and forcing you to lie down next to him. The next morning, he wakes up with a throbbing headache and the vague, ever-present worry that he said something stupid last night.

You’re not in the bed with him anymore. Kevin blinks once, twice, before trying to sit up so to figure out where you went. Then he remembers you don’t live here. You probably went home.

Which is why he nearly goes into cardiac arrest when you appear in his doorway, holding a mug of coffee and a glass of water.

For a moment, the two of you just stare at each other. Kevin’s not sure what thoughts are running through your head, but he knows he’s trying to piece together what happened last night, and whether or not he should be hiding under the covers out of embarrassment.

Then it hits him.

Sun.

Moon.

Genius.

Oh, God.

Kevin wants to die.

“Morning, sunshine,” he says, using your new nickname in the desperate hope that it’ll distract you from remembering the rest of what he said last night.

A catlike smirk curls your lips as you walk over, pressing the glass of water into his hands. A feeling of dread fills Kevin’s heart as he takes it.

“Morning, genius,” you say with enough evil delight to power Changmin for a year.

Kevin groans. “I was drunk.”

“Yeah, I noticed.” Your teasing smile melts into something gentler as you place your mug on the bedside table, turning to bring the glass of water in his hands to his lips. “Coffee’s mine, don’t touch it or I’ll break a bone. Drink the water. I made some breakfast, so come into the kitchen whenever you feel up to it. After you’ve brushed your teeth.”

Warmth courses through Kevin’s body, and it has nothing to do with the alcohol from last night and everything to do with how you’re here in body and mind, sweetly helping him recover from a stupid hangover even when it’s definitely not your problem to take care of and you probably have better things to do. His heart thumps, loud enough that he thinks you could probably hear it.

In this moment, Kevin doesn’t think he’s ever been more grateful for anything than you coming into his life.

“Got it.” He awkwardly tries to salute, but he does it with the hand holding the glass and the water nearly spills onto the bed. As his cheeks flush, you break into snorting giggles.

Even though it’s at his expense, Kevin thinks he would do anything, anything in the world, to keep that wonderful smile on your face and that musical laughter in the air.

. . . . .

iv.

Only when you move in together does Kevin realize just how taxing your job is. He had an idea from when you sometimes had to cancel or move around dates, but when you did meet up, you were usually energetic and cheerful. Of course, there were the token dates where you just came over to Kevin’s apartment or he came over to yours and you just flopped around for a few hours. Outside, though, you always showed a bright face.

But that was because dates were mostly on your days off or when your hours were short, and as a result, you felt good enough, energized enough to show Kevin your brilliant smile. When you first moved in together, Kevin felt a bit surprised – well, maybe not surprised, but saddened – that you didn’t have the energy to smile as brightly as he saw before.

It’s fine by Kevin, though. You smile often enough, and if your teeth don’t show as much as they used to, there’s something beautiful, something calming and sweet in the slower curve of your lips, the gentle, lethargic way you lean up for a kiss. After all, Kevin has enough energy to compensate for when you might lack some of yours.

(It helps that he can cook, he thinks. Even when the kids at school sometimes wear him out, the brief sparkle in your eye that spreads across your lips when you walk through the door to see him stirring something on the stove is more than enough to make up for it.)

You’re cute, too, when you’re tired. Though Kevin loves it when you’re energetic and ready for whatever the day has decided to throw in your path, there’s something so peaceful, so pleasant about feeling you lying lethargically against his side on the couch, scrolling through your phone or reading a book or just resting, doing nothing but breathing softly. Kevin cherishes those small moments, the soft atmosphere where he kisses your hair and you smile, reach up, and press a kiss of your own to his cheek.

Tonight is one of those nights, a night of soft, comforting silence, words few and far between. It’s been a bit warm lately, so Kevin’s elected to wear one of the tank tops he keeps for the warmer months instead of his usual sweater.

You sit next to him on the couch, back pressed to his side as you send off emails on your phone. Kevin’s working too, inputting grades on his laptop. He hums a little under his breath to take his mind off of the monotony of his task.

At some point, you finish, putting down your phone with a sigh and slumping into his ribs. Kevin starts at the sudden movement. “Sunshine,” he whines, even though he could really care less.

“Moon boy,” you parrot in the same tone of voice.

Kevin’s attention turns back to his laptop, so he barely registers you shifting on the couch to a new position. He does notice it, though, when your fingers start trailing along his skin, exposed by the lack of sleeves on his tank top, because your touch tickles.

You completely ignore his resulting twitch of surprise, only keep tracing the skin of his rib cage. Kevin looks down, confused as to what’s caught your attention.

Oh. His tattoos.

“Sunshine?” he asks softly, watching your fingers shift along his skin.

“Mm,” you hum, eyes still fixated on the ink decorating his side.

“Sleepy?”

Slowly, you shake your head, fingers paused on the image of Mickey Mouse. “Not yet.”

He goes back to inputting grades, all the while still aware of your fingers tracing the lines, the curls, the swirls of black ink along his side. When he finishes, he looks over before closing his laptop to see your eyes still focused on his skin.

Something in his heart explodes, spreading a tingly, comforting warmth throughout his body. It’s a feeling he’s come to associate with your presence, a feeling of absolute security, absolute trust, absolute warmth that comes with falling in love with you.

You look up, noticing his lack of movement. “Finished, moonbeams?”

“First moon boy, now moonbeams?” Kevin teases you lightly, picking up the hand you were using to trace his skin and pressing a soft kiss to your knuckles. Just like every other time he’s ever done it, a wide smile spreads across your face and a shyness sparkles in your eyes, as though you still can’t believe the bliss of the moment.

(At least, that’s what Kevin feels every time you do something to remind him that he’s yours.)

Your voice breaks into his thoughts. “Can’t call you moonshine, that’s an alcohol.” You shrug as best as you can in your stretched-out position. “Moonbeams, moon boy… whatever feels right.”

Kevin puts his laptop on the coffee table. As he leans back into the couch, you curl up into him, one hand still lingering against the Mickey Mouse tattoo on his side. “Tell me about these?” you ask, pressing your fingers a bit more firmly against the ink.

His tattoos are personal, serving as reminders of the past and inspiration to keep moving. Rarely does he share their meanings with anyone (not that people usually ask, because the tattoos are mostly covered by his clothes), and only with those who mean the world to him.

Kevin thinks you qualify as one of them.

Touching your shoulders, he turns you around slightly, just enough to press a short, sweet kiss to the top of your head. “Of course, sunshine.” He smiles, gazing into your eyes, feeling the warmth of your love travel through his limbs. “Which one first?”

. . . . .

v.

Kevin Moon, for the majority of his life, has hovered in between being classified as a morning person or a night owl. Yes, he gets up at six in the morning for a cup of coffee, but he also stays up past midnight doing… stuff. Grading, writing reports, watching cat videos, wasting time.

(When Changmin judges his lifestyle, Kevin just reminds him that he fell in love with his roommate’s hookup and is on a dance team with the parent of one of his students.)

Honestly, if Kevin didn’t remind himself every so often that he’s currently a full adult, his lifestyle would make him think he was still in college. He certainly still acts like it when he isn’t working. Procrastinating? Check. Crying over reports he needs to submit at three a.m.? Check. Flopping around on the floor when life is going badly? Check.

And most importantly: nonexistent sleep schedule? Check.

You put a stop to that real quick when you move in, both directly and indirectly. Directly, you make an appointment for him at a sleep clinic after figuring out his shitty sleep patterns, and Kevin finds out he probably has mild insomnia. The aftermath is horrible – you put him on a strict sleep schedule and all but ban caffeine from his diet (goodbye, morning coffee) – but it helps, after a couple of weeks. He sleeps better. Perks of having a partner who works in medicine.

Indirectly, though, you probably make a bigger difference.

See, the way Kevin thinks about it, he just never had a lot of reasons to stay in bed very long. Even though he appreciates sleep, really appreciates it on long days, it’s just that he can’t really force it if it doesn’t want to come. He’d also rather be doing something productive (or not productive, depends on the asker’s perspective) than lying awake for hours, anyway.

But now that he’s waking up to a face he loves?

Well, even if you sometimes disappear before he wakes (hospital hours are whack as hell, but sadly, you can’t ignore your job), Kevin will just say your warmth is a powerful incentive to stay huddled under the covers, even if he can’t fall back asleep.

He still wakes up every morning to grey light beginning to peek through the window. No matter how hard he tries to sleep in just a little longer, his body can’t seem to stay unconscious past six in the morning, so both of you have just resigned yourselves to the fact that Kevin will always be an early riser.

Before you walked into his life, he would’ve rolled out of bed almost immediately, stumbled to the bathroom (and maybe knocked his knee against the doorframe, who knows), then started brewing coffee in the kitchen to start the day.

Now?

A drowsy smile begins to make its way across Kevin’s face, soft as the morning light, when his brain catches up to the present and he registers your warmth under the covers. Sleepily, he blinks, taking in the sight of your peaceful face buried halfway in the sheets.

You shouldn’t look this beautiful, Kevin thinks, not with your hair strewn all over the pillow, blankets rumpled around your shoulders, arms outstretched so that one sort of curls over his body while the other is held up to your chest. It’s the morning – no one should look pretty and put-together. That isn’t natural.

(Unless you happy to be Kim Younghoon, but that’s another story.)

Yet you somehow look like a sleeping deity in Kevin’s mind, even with your hair a mess and drool drying on the pillowcase. As the drowsiness clears from his eyes, as the light from the window grows brighter, Kevin can barely even think of moving, of disturbing your peace.

He dislikes your alarm. It’s loud, annoying, and hits him with a jolt when he’s just trying to take these stolen morning moments to admire your beauty. When he complains about it the first time, you tell him to serve as the alarm, to wake you up himself.

Kevin counters that he’s an artist, that he needs peace and quiet to give beauty of such a degree the respect it deserves. You just roll your eyes, telling him that if he isn’t going to wake you up, the alarm’s going to have to take that job. The smile on your face, though, and the brief kiss you press to his lips right after, speaks volumes for the emotions Kevin’s words make you feel.

(He loves flustering you like this, even if you pretend his words don’t make you feel some sort of way.)

So eventually, you wake, eyes fluttering as the alarm brings you back to the conscious plane. Kevin’s heart feels like it’s bursting when your eyes fully open, blearily blinking at the world.

“Morning, sunshine,” he whispers, running one hand through your hair.

You lean slightly into the touch, the corners of your lips twitching up. And every day, as he stares into your sleepy eyes, lips curling as you whisper a quiet “Morning, moon boy” in reply, Kevin knows he’s falling, falling in love with every part of you.

. . . . .

+i.

Kevin’s waiting in front of the school when you pull up at the curb. Smiling apologetically, he gives you a quick kiss on the cheek as you step out of the car. “Sorry, sunshine.” He gestures at the two small boys standing beside him, absorbed in their own world. “Their uncle’s running late and Changmin and Jacob have things to do, so I need to wait for Sangyeon to pick them up before we can go.”

“No worries.” You return the kiss, smiling as bright as the sun. Kevin feels a flash of pride for coming up with a nickname that fits you so well. “We have the whole afternoon, don’t we?”

“That, we do.” He grins, squeezing your hand.

“Mr. Moon, who’s that?” a small voice asks closer to the ground. The two of you turn to see Sunwoo and Eric trotting over, curious looks on their faces.

Kevin looks over at you, but you’re already bending down to get to eye level with the two boys. “Oh, hello!” Your grin, if possible, grows wider. “I’m Y/N, Kevin’s significant other. What are your names?”

“I’m Eric,” Eric pipes up. “This is my brother, Sunwoo.”

Sunwoo just stares with round eyes. Well, he’s always been the shyer of the two.

“Those are lovely names,” you reply smoothly, giving Sunwoo an encouraging smile. Kevin feels his heart melt completely at how well you interact with the kids. “I’m just going to be waiting with Kevin until your uncle picks you up, is that okay?”

The two kids nod and immediately go back to babbling in their own little world. Kevin notices the fond smile on your face, and his heart melts even more.

“They’re so cute,” you whisper to him.

“I know, right?” Kevin clutches his heart dramatically. “Can you imagine teaching them every day?”

Just as you’re shaking your head in comic disbelief, another car pulls up behind yours. A harried-looking young man quickly exits and Eric and Sunwoo cheer, distracted by the arrival of their uncle.

“Sorry about this,” Sangyeon says, absentmindedly patting Eric’s head as the boy hugs his leg. Sunwoo seems to be attempting to climb onto his uncle’s back. “Traffic wasn’t the kindest when I was getting out of work.” Then he notices you. “Oh, hello. Are you Kevin’s partner?”

“That I am.” You stick out a hand. “I’m Y/N, and I’ve been told you’re Sangyeon?”

Sangyeon nods, smiling. “Nice to meet you. And to see that Kevin’s found someone to deal with his antics.”

Kevin blushes as you laugh. “Hey,” he complains. “No jokes at my expense, please.”

“Sure, moonbeams.” You roll your eyes, then turn back to Sangyeon. “It’s nice to meet you. Your nephews are adorable.”

The smile that Sangyeon gives the two boys clambering around him says it all. “They are, aren’t they?” He checks his watch. “I’m sorry, I have to go now. My sister’s expecting us back soon, and I’m already a bit late.”

Kevin breathes a sigh of relief. No more teasing at his expense from Sangyeon, at least, though there’s no guarantee from you. “Nice seeing you, Sangyeon. And have a good day, kids.”

A small chorus of “You too, Mr. Moon!” sounds, and Kevin expects that to be the end. Sangyeon will herd the boys into the car, Kevin will follow you into yours, and then you’ll go your separate ways. What he doesn’t expect is for Sunwoo to look out at you from behind his uncle’s leg, round eyes cautiously curious, and ask you a question.

“Y/N?”

Immediately, you turn around, teasing smirk melting into a gentle smile for the small boy. “Yes, Sunwoo?”

Sunwoo’s eyes dart between you and Kevin. Then, softly, shyly – “Do you love Mr. Moon?”

Time seems to stop as Kevin’s breath hitches in his throat at the sudden question, but you only look back at him, eyes soft and sparkling in the sunlight. 

Your answer glitters in your gaze.

Though you’re supposed to be talking to Sunwoo, your eyes stay fixed on Kevin, strong and unyielding, yet gentle and affectionate, as you answer. Your voice is soft when you reply. “Yes, Sunwoo. I do love him.” The smile on your face grows wider as you turn back to the child. “I love him very much.”

Indescribable warmth floods Kevin’s chest and tears prick his eyes. And as Sangyeon hurries his nephews away, as you turn around to unlock your car, one truth burns with absolute, crystal-clear certainty in his mind.

He isn’t falling in love with you, not anymore. No, he’s far past that stage.

Kevin Moon is completely, wholly, irrevocably in love with you.

“Kevin?” You look at him from the other side of the car. “You coming?”

A wide grin spreads across his face as he meets your sparkling eyes. Love blooms in his chest.

“Coming, sunshine.”

If you enjoyed, please don’t forget to reblog and leave a comment to tell me what you thought! Thank you for reading and have a lovely day <3

(1 reblog = 1 prayer for kevin’s whipped ass ksjdkgsdhjk)

[quickspinner]

Ruin It

Another one for the @lovebugs-and-snakecharmers sprint challenge! The prompt was:  

Person A: Listen I don’t want to ruin our friendship but I really want to kiss y-- Person B: Ruin it

The challenge rules are 3 15-minute writing sprints and 24 hours to edit. I took a little extra editing time because it was late by the time I finished and I didn't want to do anything stupid for lack of sleep. Also, I sprinted everything from the phrase "Ruin It" onwards and then ended up adding a ridiculous number of words to put together the setup at the beginning as part of my "editing" phase and effectively doubled the length of what I originally sprinted. Hopefully it's not too complicated. I'm trying to re-embrace the thought that sprint fics don't have to complicated or polished; I've let myself get hung up on some things in the last few challenges, so this week was about just letting go.

ANYWAY I had sort of a childhood friends to lovers thought in mind as I wrote this, and I hope you enjoy! You can also check out the sprint challenge AO3 collection here to read this and other works. 

“I’ve always wanted to do that,” Marinette said enviously, watching a group of kids run along the top of the short stone wall framing the park. 

“Why haven’t you?” Luka asked. “It’s not very high.” He gestured to where the wall ended in graduated steps down to the ground. “Wouldn’t be hard to get up on it, either.”  

She gave him a look. “Because I’m a grown-up.”

Luka snorted. “Says who?” A woman some distance from them called out “Lunch!” and kids jumped off the wall, cheering as they ran off. Luka grinned and took her hand, tugging her up off the blanket they’d been sitting on. “Come on.”

“Luka!” she laughed, but didn’t resist as he towed her to the wall. “What if a patrol sees us?” 

“What are they going to do, fine us?” Luka rolled his eyes, and flashed her a wicked grin that she somehow felt in her bones. “They can put it on my tab.” He held Marinette’s hand as she stepped up on the low part of the wall, and then he walked alongside it as she stepped up to the next highest piece, and then the next, raising his hand at every level to keep hold of hers. The wall was only about waist-height on Luka, but it felt huge to Marinette, standing on top of it. She giggled as she looked down at him. “Now you know how I feel walking next to you,” she teased. 

“Enjoy it while it lasts,” Luka laughed. When they reached a place where the wall dead-ended into the higher terrace beyond, Marinette carefully turned around, making sure to get a grip on Luka with her other hand before she let go with the one he’d been holding. The wall might not be all that high, but she had a habit of getting distracted at just the wrong moment, and no fall was better than even a short fall. With her luck, even a short fall would be dangerous.

Not that she was worried. Luka never let her fall. She gave him Luka a quick smile to let her know she was ready, and they began the walk back to the end with the graduated steps. “How do they expect kids not to climb on a wall when they make it this easy?” she asked, looking down at Luka with a laugh. 

Marinette had just taken the first step down when some yelling boys startled a flock of pigeons, sending them hurtling right towards the wall in their flight to higher ground. Startled, Marinette overbalanced, and with a yelp she began to topple, but Luka was already there, arms around her waist, half catching, half lifting her off the wall. Her flailing arms wrapped around his neck automatically and she clung to him for a heart-stopping moment where she thought they would both go over, but Luka’s grip on her was firm and his stance rock-solid. 

“You okay?” he asked, amusement in his voice. 

“Yeah,” she said into his hair, embarrassed. “Sorry.” 

Luka gave a quiet huff of amusement, head tilted back to look up at her, and Marinette pouted down at him. “Are you going to put me down?” she asked. 

“I don’t know,” Luka grinned. “Maybe I won’t. Maybe you’re safer like this.” 

She was tempted to kick him, but her dangling feet were level with his knees, rather than his shins, and she was afraid of hurting him. His grin widened at her predicament, but his eyes were full of affection, and she forgave him for laughing at her. She couldn’t help it. She wasn’t going to let him get away with it though. She just...needed a credible threat. Her frustration must have showed on her face because his breath fanned over his face as he laughed silently. Her eyes flicked down to his lips.

“Put me down or I’ll kiss you,” she threatened. “Then our friendship will be ruined forever and you’ll regret everything.” 

Luka’s eyes widened, and he immediately set her feet on the ground. Her grin of triumph faded at the look on his face. “That’s not funny, Marinette,” he muttered, ducking out of her arms and taking a few steps away. 

Marinette blinked, and then bit her lip. “Sorry. Sorry, that was stupid.” She wrapped her arms around herself and backed up, sitting down on one of the lower steps of the wall. “Luka, I didn’t mean it. I wouldn’t be that stupid.” 

For a moment, he said nothing. Marinette sat miserably waiting for him to work through whatever he was thinking about, calling herself ten kinds of idiot in her head.

“Is that…” Her head jerked up as he spoke, but his back was still to her, and he seemed to be struggling to get the words out. “Is that something you think about?” 

Marinette frowned. “What?”

“Kissing me,” he clarified, without turning. “Ruining our friendship?”

“Oh.” Marinette felt heat rush into her cheeks. She was really in it now. How could she have let that slip? “Well...sometimes, yeah. I know it’s stupid, you haven’t seen me that way since we were kids, and I don’t want to ever screw up our friendship. Just—” Just what? How could she admit to him that sometimes the light caught the angles of his face just right, and she couldn’t take her eyes off him. That sometimes he would catch her staring and his lips would curve in a questioning smile and she couldn’t think about anything else for days afterwards. How could she admit even a fraction of what she felt for him, without making things weird?

Weird- er . She’d already managed weird. Damn it.  

“Just?” he prompted. 

Marinette squirmed uncomfortably. “It’s not a big deal. Just, sometimes I think about kissing you. And then I think what a stupid idea it is and I know you haven’t seen me that way since we were kids, and I’d never actually do it because it would ruin every—” 

Luka turned around and took a quick step towards her. “Ruin it.” 

Marinette blinked. “Wh-what?” 

“Ruin it,” Luka repeated, taking another step. “Do it. If tearing down what we have means building something new with you then give me the fucking hammer and let’s go.” 

Marinette stared at him, hardly believing what she was hearing. “You’d...you’d give up everything we have,” she said, tone going accusing. “For a kiss?”

“No,” he said, kneeling in front of her to take her hands. “I’d give up everything we have for a chance. What do we have, Marinette, that can’t be made better? If you want to kiss me, and I want to kiss you, if we both want more than what we have, then why shouldn’t we try?” 

“Because—” Marinette floundered. “Because what if it all went wrong, and then we couldn’t—couldn’t talk to each other anymore, and, and we’d be—” She frowned. “Wait, you want to kiss me?” 

“Every damn day,” he told her earnestly. “Every time you eat a macaroon or steal my coffee or laugh or pout or—pretty much anything, really.”   

Oh shit , she thought, taking in the tight lines of his face, the steady, intense gaze of his eyes. He’s serious . “But…” Marinette’s head whirled. “But—Luka, what if—If everything went wrong—I wouldn’t have anyone to—what would I do without you, Luka?” she practically wailed.

“What if you never had to find out?” he asked, reaching up to cradle her face with one hand. “What if it didn’t go wrong, Marinette? What if I could love you without holding back? What if we weren’t spending so much energy trying not to want each other? Is that what’s been holding you back, all this time? As if you could ever lose me, after all we’ve been through.” 

Marinette stared at him, speechless. Of course he knew , she thought numbly. It was Luka. But she didn’t know, or didn’t let herself know that she knew, and her reality was reeling. 

Luka let his hand fall from her face, and wrapped both of his hands around hers instead, his voice soft and coaxing and full of a hope that made her ache. “Ruin it, Marinette. We’ll make something new out of it. It might not be the same, but I’ve seen the things you create and I’m not afraid. Whatever we become, it’ll be something we made together. How could something like that be bad?” He took a breath, and looked up at her. His hands were shaking, she realized. “So ruin it.” He grinned. “Hell, ruin me , I don’t mind. I love being your friend, but...I want to see what else we can make together.” 

She’d never seen his eyes like this, she thought numbly as she stared back at him. She thought she knew him so well, just like he knew her. She’d never been able to read him the way he read her, but she thought...she thought she knew him. She didn’t know this , the intensity, the pleading, the...desperation. She didn’t know this part of him. The part that wanted . Luka didn’t crave things. Luka let things come and go, he didn’t get worked up over things. Luka was willing to take what you gave him and be content. Luka was a passionate person, sure, but not ambitious. He didn’t want things. 

He wanted her. This was the first time that she’d ever seen how much...that he’d let her see how much. She should have been frightened, she thought. It should have scared her to see him looking at her with so much earnestness. It was terrifying, when it was anybody else.

But this was Luka, and how could she be scared of Luka? How could she, when he’d finally dared to ask for what he wanted? Not because he couldn’t stand it any longer but because she had finally admitted, to him and to herself, that she wanted it too.  

Just like that she knew she had passed the boundary whether she meant to or not. She would break Luka’s heart in this moment if she refused him, and her own in the process. Their friendship wouldn’t be the same after this. They would have to make something new, one way or another. She could turn him down, and hope that the awkward would pass over time. Hope that he could forgive her for being a coward. 

But…

She thought she knew him, but now she could see how much he was holding back. She wanted that secret knowledge of him, the part of himself he kept hidden away. She wanted his secret passions and his dreams and the things he treasured up in his heart. Not to take, but to receive, to be given freely, to earn each one with the steadiness of her...love.

Love.

Marinette looked down at their hands in her lap. Slowly she moved her hands so that they were clasping his. He was silent now, waiting. How long had he been waiting for her? When she leaned forward, Luka closed his eyes and tilted his head to meet her, but he didn’t move beyond that until her lips pressed, trembling and tentative, into his. Only then did he move with her, press into her, his hands tightening on hers so hard it almost hurt. She moved his hands to her hips and then carded her own fingers through his hair as they kissed and kissed again. 

She loved him, and she was terrified as she finally let herself realize how much, but…this was Luka. 

Luka never let her fall. 

Fiction Master Post

[luckyspacerabbit]

would you ever share the background you created for kai leng? i'd be so interested in hearing it!

Hehe, yes! Thank you for waiting anon. I wanted to really think this through and make sure I was working with all the possible details of his character.

Okay, so my goal with fleshing out Kai was not to excuse him as a villain or to necessarily redeem him, but to humanize him and hopefully incur sympathy because I find his depiction as a mysterious lackey boogeyman to be 🙄 one dimensional and playing on racist tropes like the yellow peril ✨ (also bioware making him predominantly chinese + a lil russian. extrapolate what u will lol)

So here is my background for Kai :) Lots of childhood headcanoning and then some general talk about his character/why I chose certain elements as I did (such as dumping that dumb phantom blade for butterfly swords AEORHIG)

Childhood: According to the wiki, Kai is Earthborn, and from his general heritage we can assume that he grew up in Northern China (omg that's where my ancestors are from). The most populous city there is Beijing, which, if there was a spaceport or alliance recruitment anywhere, it would be there.

I headcanon that he was born to a bit of an unsteady family, where it was likely there was estrangement and unsafe conditions between the mother and father that may have created a sense of helplessness and neglect from a young age.

In my canon, Dan Hyun's mom, Hannah Shepard was the head of an agricultural research facility on Trident, and was an old friend of Kai's mom (From University, possibly).

As conditions worsened throughout Kai's childhood, his mom decided to take a chance and flee with Kai (age 10 at the time) to Hannah Shepard's science facility on Trident (Sentinel Agricultural Research Facility), where she and Kai would stay for about two years as his mom worked to save enough money for their own place .

Since Dan Hyun was already being homeschooled, it was easy enough for Kai to join up alongside her.

Dan Hyun (12 at the time) was extremely happy to have a friend since life on the facility could be really lonely-- but with all these changes Kai was having a difficult time adjusting, especially when Dan Hyun felt put off by his competitive attitude. After so long feeling neglected and growing in a tumultuous home environment, he craved external validation: homeschool provided an avenue for that. They developed their own academic-based competitive rivalry that counted towards friendship, but grew distant when he moved out with his mom about two years later.

When Dan Hyun was 18 (Kai at 16), she managed to apply to an Alliance Research Training program and receive admission-- something that was considered highly prestigious, despite her parents' reluctance. Kai had already begun to build resentment towards her due to the way her parents treated her (very preciously, sheltered, and without exposing her to the difficult parts of life) in contrast with what he lacked in family and world kindness, creating a drive to supersede her and compete with her once again, if only to have tangible proof that just because he began in a lower place didn't mean he couldn't surpass the vision of success.

After this event, they would strike up a still somewhat friendly rivalry again that continued until Kai enlisted in the Alliance at the age of 18 (his attempts to join directly at 16 failed in my canon lol, but he sure tried )

Alliance Service:

Kai took the combat-driven route while Dan Hyun was receiving training for her eventual research establishment in Akuze, meaning that in their line of work, they never crossed paths-- Though they maintained occasional communication and met up here and there whenever Kai was back from his tours.

This is where I believe his decline truly began.

Some habits, like his desire for tangible proof of success and seeking external validation, manifested more heavily in this time. Collecting badges off of dead soldiers (To remember his skill first hand) is a notable one, but I speculate he relied heavily on the word of his commanding officers to counter his self-esteem. Titles were incredibly important because they were proof. When he began to feel a loss of control which led to emotional outbursts and breakdowns, he would fall back on these bits of evidence that he had done something, anything.

The weight and violence of service combined to break away his mental strength and conditioned him to that of a soldier.

Famously, he was discharged in 2186 after his N7 designation. In a bar fight on shore leave, he murdered a Krogan (OKAY. Listen. The wiki says "first-degree murder" but first degree requires premeditation and bar fight implies heat of the moment. So IDK I think the details around this one are a little fishy. He was on leave but he was a soldier, so ? he probably just had a weapon on him? Okay, I'm not excusing him but premeditation is a bit different from manslaughter so just something I've pondered. It separates intentional killers from accidental murders).

At this point, he is formally incarcerated and set to serve a twenty-year sentence.

Cerberus Contact:

The year is 2177, and Kai has lost everything he's ever worked for. His prestige is gone, he is at the worst place he has ever been, his mom won't talk to him, and he has no one. He had even stopped hearing from Dan Hyun, the only person he could have considered a friend once.

Through a small TV in the prison, he is able to hear about the attack on Akuze, and its one survivor: Alliance Scientist Dan Hyun Shepard. In the attack her biotic abilities (Which she had kept secret for many years) were revealed, prompting immediate recruitment into the N7 Program and a contract for ten years of service. This drove Kai into rock bottom-- while he had nothing, Dan Hyun was steadily on track to uprooting the only thing he had ever felt like he had accomplished.

This is when Cerberus intervened, promising him a home, freedom, belonging, and success.

So of course Kai agreed. Why wouldn't he? He had nothing left in his miserable life and there would never again be a place for him.

Cerberus Intervention:

It's my belief that Kai wasn't necessarily "alienphobic" in the beginning. Instead, I think The Illusive Man saw a very clear opportunity to recruit and nurture a broken man into a pawn of service. TIM is incredibly smart-- everyone who works for Cerberus is. He knew what Kai needed was validation, the promise of success held directly on the tip of his tongue to drive him into tenacity and action.

Organizations like Cerberus, even in real life, prey on people at weak points, fulfill their needs and drape their ideology on top like icing on a cake. That's not to say that Kai is completely innocent-- he ate the sweets and readily threw the world to the side in order to attain more-- but it does give some perspective.

Kai in Cerberus:

In ME2 we know there is some apprehension on Kai's part about the role Shepard will play. He is already starting to feel slighted from failures with Rasa and takes even the possibility of rejection from TIM extremely hard and with violent emotional outburst. This evidences how much TIM has whittled him away over the decade of service. Kai feels as though he owes everything to TIM, that TIM saw something in him-- failing him is disproving that and accepting what Kai has feared all along: that he truly is a worthless and incapable person.

Kai and Shepard:

Kai is best known for his direct antagonism towards Shepard in the events of ME3, directly killing their allies and potential love interests in a way that is extremely personal. Yes, it is part of the job, but at the same time, it's clear Shepard gets under his skin. It's because in the end, after all that setup, Shepard is the one person who can take it all away from him.

They can replace him as TIM's prodigy/ They can bring an end to the organization that gave him everything (From his cybernetic enhancements (uh indoctrination cough couch) ) to his purpose in life. Kai threw it all in with them because he didn't see another choice.

My Canon: The End

So how do things end for Kai in my canon?

As you're aware, you can unalive him, violently. But Dan Hyun is very emotional and due to their shared childhood, I like to believe that there was still a grand feeling of kinship between them, a recognition of the other due to shared insecurities. I don't think there was ever a time Dan Hyun looked at Kai and saw anything other than her slighted friend (which is very romanticized, but SHE is very romanticized), it was just about getting Kai to see that too.

She locked him down the best she could, yelled, cried, and beat the shit out of him, but ultimately, preserved his life. After the crucible had been fired and Thane (alive ofc) attended to, she sought to right things between her and Kai: whatever form that takes. Who knows if he'll ever be able to live comfortably in society again-- but at least here, he has the chance.

Random Tidbits:

Some notes! At his best, I like that Kai is portrayed as Loyal, Hard Working, Methodical, Clever, Tenacious, and Factual. I think sometimes he can be written off unfairly as wimpy or scared, but in truth, he's very sure of his abilities and able to calculate his chances extremely well. He's smarter than fandom gives him credit for.

He has an interesting conflict between arrogance based on title and humbleness. He knows he wants to be the best but he never airs it-- like when Rasa suggests that he wants to be the leader for Humanity but he grows quiet and says to just focus on where things are at right now.

His time as a soldier absolutely affected him in ways I think sharpened him to the killer he became. It instilled values that remained with him in Cerberus, such as when he berates Bates for abandoning his squad and calls him a traitor. Kai doesn't betray-- he's quite literally ride or die.

Also? The ninja sword is super dumb because Kai is Chinese and the swords and Phantom's themselves are designed to appear Japanese in aesthetic. Ninjas= Japanese, but China did have their own sect of Assassins which I believe gave birth to Wu Ching as a type of Martial Arts? Or was drawn from it hmm

To keep to accuracy, Kai would have trained more towards their martial art techniques which focuses on close combat and quick movements, as well as the use of dual blades called butterfly swords (You'd likely recognize them as a set of rogue daggers).

That's all for that meta! Phew. If anyone actually read to the end, hey wassup, hope you enjoyed, and take most of this with a grain of salt since it's my headcanons and background work :) Thank you again for reading!

[queenangst]

It's me again lol. Just wanted to ask, would you mind sharing any nice pl bkdk fics you've read? The craving for this ship is sparkles consuming me sparkles

Ragged Edges by Withstarryeyes

Izuku sighs, opening his eyes. Above him is a large crack, slowly dripping water. Izuku watches as a drop collects, gaining mass until its weight drags it down, where it lands on Izuku’s cheek. “Yeah Kaachan?” “Status report.” The words are clipped, bored. Izuku turns his head, looking at the pile of rocks separating Kaachan and him. He supposes they should have known this was a trap, when the call went out for Ground Zero and Deku specifically. Still, Izuku has always been optimistic, and he really didn’t think villains would be gunning for them this hard before they’ve even graduated high school. “I’m still stuck. You?” Or...Izuku and Bakugou get trapped in a cave. Stuck waiting for rescue they play never have I ever, and Bakugou learns things about Izuku he never knew before.

if you can fill the unforgiving minute by the_crownless_queen

Comically, some part of Izuku had always thought they’d end up here. Oh, he’d gotten some of the details wrong — for example, he’d always kind of figured Kacchan would be the one to collapse the building on them in a fit of rage, not villains — but the whole shape of it is still right. Kacchan and him, trapped under a collapsed building, alone. It sucks pretty much as badly as in his nightmares.

Like Muscle Memory by anna7130

Five times that class 1-A underestimates Midoriya and Bakugou’s friendship, and one time they all know exactly what's what

spinning out of control by mollE

He can’t scream. He wishes, oh, he wishes he could. He’s already tried. He’s been trying, but he’s stuck in his own head, watching his hands wrap around Deku’s skinny neck and squeeze until his face turns purple and then let go again like he’s toying with him, taking him to the brink of unconsciousness and keeping him there. Deku sputters and coughs, and his chest heaves between Katsuki’s thighs. There are tears running down his face, and it’s not the first time he’s ever cried because of Katsuki. It’s not the first time Katsuki’s ever hurt him. But never like this. -- Katsuki joins the 'I've Been Mind Controlled' Club. He wishes he hadn't.

crude matter by Sour_Idealist

“Deku!” bellows, unmistakably, Kacchan. “Are you in there or what?” “Hey, Kacchan,” Izuku calls, or tries to. It’s kind of a rasp. He does his best to clear his throat. “I’m in here!” Still a rasp. “Deku?!” Kacchan manages to get even louder. “Answer your fucking door, dammit!”

silence is what i do best by notreally

When Recovery Girl asks him how he’s feeling, Midoriya desperately wants to say that everything’s fine. He masters his best smile and says, cheerful as ever, “Disgusting.”  “I see,” she says thoughtfully, as if this was a very vital piece of information. “Anything else? Bakugou?” “My head’s spinning like crazy and I can’t focus for shit,” the blond blurts without a moment's hesitation, catching up to that only after finishing a sentence with a pissed, “What the hell?” “Oh, boy.” or the one where both Izuku and Katsuki were hit with a truth serum sort of quirk, and things aren't going all too well.

Still I Sing (There'll Howl No Demon Louder) by IncineraryPeriphery

“Hey,” Kacchan says from his nest of blankets a little ways away, flat on his back and staring up at the ceiling like it’s personally offended him within the last five seconds, “I’ve got an idea.” “About what?” Izuku mumbles into his hand with a yawn. “Your quirk.” Kacchan says.

take care by Chrome

There are words to say stay safe, I’ll miss you, I love you, but Kacchan has always preferred to leave things unspoken. Izuku isn’t much with languages, but he thinks he’s figured out this one. --- “Emotional constipation manifested as over-the-top housewifery?” Mina asks. Before Izuku can say that is not what he meant at all, she nods. “Yeah, I can see it.”

accidentally childhood friends by pandacchi

It's not that Ochako forgot they're childhood friends, it's quite literally impossible thanks to the ever-present kacchans, but it's definitely a rare occasion when it's Bakugou the one admitting to it. He usually seems very intent on making everyone forget he and Deku-kun have known each other all their life. or: a collection of little moments in which the students of class 3-A are subjected to the weird and wondrous dynamic of their resident childhood friends.

ain't gonna play the fool (you will hate yourself in the end) by Jazer

Your story is not made up of you alone - the side characters, the antagonists, even the main character themselves, they all have their own backstory to tell. Sometimes, you have to learn how to read or, in some cases, how to listen.

A Million Words To Say (and sorry isn't enough) by PotterheadAvengerDemigod

It’s well known that Deku and Ground Zero are friends. That they used to be anything less, that it took them more than a decade and a half to get to where they are now, only their former classmates and teachers know.

Reliable by dogloser

Midoriya and Bakugou help each other. Situation: One is recovering from a wound/illness. Prompt: "Don't tell me what to do."

here's a handful.

[gaysimpsstuff]

Fatgum As a Dad

This was inspired by a conversation I had on a discord server, we all have daddy issues and want Fatgum to adopt us so here’s all the shit we collected.

There are some serious themes in here, mostly regarding the biological parents of the kid, but it’s vague as possible. If anyone wants me to add a trigger warning please let me know.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It all started when he was a kid, when he learned what an orphanage was. One of the kids in his class mentioned being from one, so when he got home he asked his parents about it. 

“Mom, what’s an orphanage?”

“Well, Taishiro, it’s where children that don’t have parents go. Then people can come and adopt the children. Why do you ask.”

“A kid at school said he’s from one, when d’you think he’s gonna get adopted?”

“He might, not all children get adopted. Some of them stay in the orphanage until they’re adults.”

“BUT THAT’S NOT FAIR!” he shouted. “EVERYONE DESERVES A HAPPY CHILDHOOD!”

“Well, honey, life’s not fair. And not everyone gets a happy life. It’s how most villains are made, actually. They were hurt more than everyone else and couldn’t handle it anymore. Not all villains are like that but many are. I think you should stay away from that kid, Taishiro. He might turn out a villain.”

But he didn’t stay away. And he made it his mission to become a pro hero so he could make a ton of money and help as many people as he could. He’d help even villains, keep them from doing something dangerous and inspire hope in them.

Then, he’d adopt any kid who needed a father. All the orphanages and foster programs would be empty. Homeless children off the street and in his house, being fed and clothed. He’d care for each and every one of them, not wanting a single person to feel like they didn’t belong. 

He finds most of his kids at pride parades. He walks around with a shirt that says ‘FREE DAD HUGS’ and a box full of candy. He remembered one of the kids walking up to him slowly.

“Um.. are you Fatgum?” 

“Yes I am!”

“Can I have a hug?”

“Yes you can, Kiddo!” he got down, and the kid put his arms on his stomach (Fatgum’s too big for anyone to fully hug, the dude’s taller than Allmight!) he wrapped his arms around the kid before he heard sniffles. He looked down and saw that the kid was crying.

“M-my parents never hug me like this!” they exclaimed. “They haven’t since I came out. They want to kick me out when I turn thirteen!” 

“Can I have their number? I’m going to... talk to them.”

He ended up taking the kid’s family to court, and since the parents were going to just kick the kid out anyways, they let Fatgum adopt them, but they kept nagging him about how he was ‘going to be raising a little demon.’

“Then call me Lucifer.” he spat right back. Now, that kid’s grown up, has pride flags all around their walls, and doesn’t ever doubt that they’re loved.

Fatgum probably bakes with his kids. Helping them up onto the counter to mix ingredients and play with the dough. If they mess something up or break a glass, it’s fine. He doesn’t yell at them or sigh and shake his head, he just kissed the kid on the forehead and helps them clean up the mess. 

The food always turns out amazing, and Fatgum always tells the kids that. All of his kids are now Gordon Ramsay level chefs and have probably met Gordon Ramsay. 

No matter what their body type is, Fatgum tells his kids their handsome/beautiful and are model worthy. If anyone comments of one of his kid’s body, whether it be negative or... ‘positive’ in a creepy way, you can expect that they’re getting slammed into the ground. No questions asked.

One of Fatgum’s kids is really good at make-up. Like, really good. So Fatgum did the only thing a rational father would do. 

Ask for a make-up job.

It didn’t end all that well...

“Hold still.. I gotta get the eyeliner on.”

“Gosh, Kiddo it’s making my eyes water.” 

“I know, just hold still... aaaand...... done! Now don’t touch it or it’ll smear!”

“Wow, that looks great! You’re really good at this!”

“Thanks, dad- you smeared it already didn’t you?”

“....Nope.”

Fatgum: I'm not gonna do it, it just seemed like a good option. 

Fatgum not even two seconds later after seeing a trans kid crying: now carrying said child on his shoulders while his spouse is chuckling in a corner after signing adoption papers I did it.

This man would get his kids almost anything they wanted. Especially kids with ADD/ADHD/Autism/Tourettes/Anxiety who need stim toys.

Kid: chewing on their nails.

Fatgum: here take this stim toy, and this one, you chew this one so that might help-

Kid ends up with more stim toys than they can count.

Fatgum: just doing his job 

The Daddy Issues Gang: Hi dad- oh shit wait- Hi- I- fuck- trauma ensues. crying

Fatgum: grabs the daddy issues gang we're going to the nearest courtroom say hello to your new father its me im the father ok lets go.

Kid: um, dad can I talk to you? 

 Fatgum, turning around quickly: yes? 

 Me: ‘he moved so quick, he's mad at me, I'm gonna get yelled at’ Sorry, sorry! 

Fatgum: uh, no. I'm getting you ice cream and a new stuffed animal no questions asked

He'd just know when something's wrong, and he’d be great at comforting.

His usual style of comfort is to let the kid sit on his stomach and tell him what’s wrong. His body is one giant pillow for his kids to lay on, he can fit at least eight of them if they cuddle in closely.

Once filmed a commercial dressed as the Cool-Aid man, and all of his kids were in the commercial.

Fatgum: Busts down wall  “OH YEAH!”

Director: “And CUT! Okay, try a little more aggressive-”

Fatgum, in tears: “I don’t wanna scare my kids.”

As stated before, if anyone makes his kids feel bad he’s punching them to the ground, but sometimes he’s not in a position where he can do that. Like if a Karen mom ever comes over.

"Linda stop bringing lemon squares if you're going to talk about my son that way because they're just as sour as your attitude."

Fatgum but he slaps the toxic members of your family and tells them to do better or he's taking you.

Then takes you anyway because you prefer him.

Fatgum with a sweater that says ‘mr dad guy on it’

Fatgum definitely watches ATLA, and quotes Uncle Iroh daily. When his kids are minding their own business they suddenly hear

“Leaves from the vine... falling so slow...” 

INAUDIBLE CHAOS AND PANIC

Fatgum agency cosplayed ATLA characters on Halloween.

Fatgum was Iroh.

Kirishima was Sokka.

Tamaki was either Momo or Appa.

Maybe get a couple others in on it too, Mirio could be Aang and if Kirishima convinces Todoroki to join for a while he’d totally be Zuko.

Fatgum lets his kids squish his face.

Fatgum used to work with a hero who was hard of hearing, so he learned sign language to help them, and he’s got the skill saved in case one of his kids might be deaf.

So one day, Kirishima invites Bakugou on patrol with him, and we all love that headcanon of Bakugou going deaf, so when he gets pissed at something, he starts insulting everyone around him in SL.

Fatgum notices and starts signing back to him.

YOU’RE ALL MOTHERFUCKERS AND I HATE YOU ALL!

Hey, now, let’s calm down and not call everyone motherfuckers.

FUCK YOU TOO

Bakugou...

Everyone thinks that they’re doing magic, because they’re making all these shapes with their hands and keep looking offended at each other.

Now, Fatgum tries his gosh darn hardest to keep up with the memes, so when his kids come home with good grades, he says “That’s so pog, Kiddo!”

All of his kids are embarrassed.

In the middle of a battle, he throws Kirishima at a villain and they both scream “YEET!” the villain afterwords forever lives in fear of the word ‘yeet’ because he thinks it’ll result in a human rock being thrown at his face.

Fatgum can’t text very well, because his fingers are just too damn big-

sonhsisntextsblooklikehthis'

Translation: so his texts look like this

you learn to understand his texts

Someone better get him a large tablet instead of a phone

If he gets married after he adopts the kids, there’s going to be a huge competition over who does the rings and who does the flowers etc.

If any of his kid’s ever bring home a romantic partner, you can bet your ass he’ll be all over them.

“What’s your average grade?”

“E-eighty percent sir!”

“And do you take sports?”

“No sir, I wish to be a biologist.”

“I see, I see...”

“DAD, YOU AREN”T INTERVIEWING MY PARTNER, ARE YOU? YOU SCARED OFF THE LAST THREE I DON’T WANNA DEAL WITH THAT AGAIN!”

“SORRY, KIDDO! I’LL LET THEM GO NOW! I’ve got my fucking eyes on you. Don’t screw this up.”

Hope y’all enjoy this, if y’all want I can write some headcanons for if Fatgum’s kid becomes a villain-

[truglori]

Homebody (Ch.12)

Summary: Amiyah is the younger sister of local drug dealer (Durkio). Shy and reserved she keeps to herself and stays out the way. But lately she began to find interest in his right hand man/ best friend (Erik Stevens). Wanting to get him to notice her she discovers that he already had her wrapped around his finger without even trying! There was only a few problems that kept her away from her fantasies , her brother that controlled almost every single breath she took and would kill anyone who looked at her that way and lastly Eriks girlfriend, Alexis , who they called the queen of the hood according to her lavish lifestyle as well as being with the next newest top boy in the making. While Alexis was his girl to the streets all Amiyah wanted to do was be his Homebody...

Pairing: Erik Stevens x Thick OC

Warning: Language, Smoking

1 1/2 months later

The music from Amiyah’s speaker played at a low level. She was currently in the process of setting up an organizer for her perfume collection. Going back in forth between the instructions on the manual and screwing in the tiny nails she was growing frustrated. It’s been almost and hour now and she was only able to put together two shelves. Throwing down the paper she stood up and slipped on her house shoes. Amiyah needed a break to keep herself from becoming irritated so she walked to the kitchen for a snack.

Keys unlocking the front door caught her attention. It was Durk walking in with another Louis Vuitton bag for the fourth time this week. Amiyah knitted her eyebrows together wondering what was up with all of the shopping he’s been doing. She watched him walk to his to put away his items before he walked back into the livingroom.

“What’s up sis? You didn’t have to work today?” Durk asked pulling out his weed tray and breaking down the bud.

Amiyah walked over to him and sat down. “Nope I was just getting ready to make me some food but I’m too tired to cook.” Taking a pillow she cradled it in her lap.

He snickered rolling up his blunt. “I’ll order something for you if you want?”

Nodding her head Amiyah grabbed the remote to the tv and turned it on. She flipped through the channels hoping to find something to ease her mind for the moment. Durk leaned back next to her sparking up the blunt. Amiyah watched him inhale and exhale the smoke through his nose. Reaching her hand out she made a gesture asking for a hit.

“You know damn well you don’t smoke.” He removed the blunt from his mouth but handed it to her anyway. Durk figured it would be funny to see her try to get high for the first time.

Amiyah grabbed it using her nail tips she took a pull and inhaled the smoke smoothly and blew it out. She did it a few times and then she passed it back.

Durk furrowed his brows looking surprise before sending her a blank stare. “Miyah who the hell taught you how to do that?” He asked gently snatching the blunt away from her.

She laughed and was about to say his name before she caught herself. Shrugging her shoulders her eyes fell to the floor. The grip on her pillow tightened against her chest. Her memory went back to the night she watched how Erik did his technique in the car and she copied him. The thought of him made her sad all over again. Amiyah would always do good until she did something that reminded her of him then she would get a strong feeling of emotions that washed over her.

It’s been over a month since she last seen him. Since the night she ended it with him to be exact. After that it was like he never existed. No more phone calls or text messages. He hasn’t even been by the apartment since then either. Before, if she saw her brother coming in she knew that Erik would be right there behind him with his beautiful smirk on his face that displayed his dimples. But there’s been nothing and it made her miserable inside.

Amiyah didn’t want to be the reason for him to not come over anymore. She was used to seeing his face almost every other day and to see that it changed because of her made her upset with herself. Not only that, because of his absence, Amiyah didn’t know if Erik and her brother were still good friends. Durk had mentioned his in a conversation a week after their last exchange and that was the last time. Amiyah was worried about him. She wanted to know how he was doing but mostly she wanted to have a second chance with him.

“Yo what you got a taste for?” Durk snapped her out of her thoughts.

“Uh it doesn’t matter. Whatever you order.” She sighed sitting the pillow next to her.

He nodded his head as he finished his blunt putting it in his ashtray. A text notification came to his phone. Amiyah heard him curse before messaging whoever it was back.

“What’s wrong?”

“Just going back and forth with this promoter about letting me throw a bash at the club for the night. You know with Valentines Day coming up on Saturday.” Durk answered staying on his phone.

Amiyah knitted her brows. “Why you tryna throw a bash? Why not just get VIP and call it a night?” She asked confused leaning her head on her hand.

Durk smacked his lips. “Because I’m doing this for the whole hood. Plus it’s a celebration for something else that I’m not telling yo nosy ass about. But I’m have my niggas to the right and nothing but bad bitches to the left. It’s bout to be a movie.” He playfully plucked her nose before getting up going into the kitchen.

Amiyah followed after she heard who he planned to have there. Erik popped into her head. She wanted to know if he was going to be one of the members in the group. She had to know so she figured she could ask for an invite.

“Well can I go?” She sat on the counter next to him.

Durk chuckled. “Since when you go to parties?”

“Since now. So can I come?” Folding her arms she pressed for the second time.

“No. Amiyah I’m not allowing you around these people. You know I don’t like you being around that type of shit anyway.” He stated while eating grapes from out of the package.

Amiyah scoffed. “ ‘Allow’? Durk I thought we just made up about this. You promised you would stop treating me like a baby and let me live and learn responsibility. That was what you told me, remember?”

After her and Erik’s first argument she had him take her home. Later that night Durk came back to find her there. He was happy that she decided to come back and they talked out their problems. Amiyah told him how she felt about him treating her like a child and how he had to stop. Durk was hesitant but agreed in letting her make her own choices from now on to help her become responsible.

Placing the bag of fruit on the table Durk eyed his sister folding his arms as well. He shook his head as he gave in.

“Damn alright you can go but yo ass is standing beside me the whole night. I’m not playing with you Amiyah.”

Interrupting him Amiyah hopped off the counter jumping up and down clapping her hands. She skipped up to him and wrapped her arms around his body giving him a bear hug.

“Thank you big brother!” She grabbed his face bringing it down to kiss his cheek.

“Miyah stop acting like I keep yo ass chained up in this house all day ‘fore I change my mind. Extra ass.” He pushed her away.

“Okay I have to get an outfit, my nails done. Can I bring Kelly? Who’s all going to be there?” She rushed him with questions.

“I guess you can bring the one and only lil friend you got.” He laughed.

Amiyah pushed his shoulder. “Okay but who’s gonna be there?” She asked hoping to get the answer she was anticipating for.

He shrugged. “I don’t know shit Moe, Erik, Cane, and a few other people I rock with.”

Her heart stopped when she heard Erik’s name. But when she heard Cane’s she felt her stomach flutter with nerves. How the hell did her brother know Cane? It was too much for her to catch up with the fact that two of the guys in his circle had her caught up. If they were both planning on being at the bash then Amiyah would try her best to avoid being around them at the same time.

“Cool!” She gave a half smile.

Durk snapped his fingers. “Oh I’ve been meaning to ask you. Your birthday coming up in a few weeks. Got any plans?”

“No not really. Why?” She stepped closer trying to figure out what he had planned.

“If you down I was thinking outta the country and a place that has dazzling white sand and water so clear that you can see your toes in it. What you think about that?” He asked speaking in a narrator tone.

Amiyah covered her mouth. “Please tell me you’re talking about what I think you’re talking about?”

Durk laughed at her reaction. “You tryna go to Turks and Caicos or what?”

Amiyah jumped on him as he caught her. Turks and Caicos was one of her top places she had on her traveling bucket list. She couldn’t believe that he was able to make this happen for her. She was truly greaful but curious.

“Wait I want to go but why you trying to bring me now? You coming up on here with shopping bags every other day and now you taking me on vacation. I mean I know you got money and everything but did you win the lottery or something?” She asked playfully unable to contain her smile.

He laughed. “You asking too many questions. Next week I’ll give you some money so you can start shopping for the trip. But right now I got to go check out the venue I’ll be back. Love you kid.” He tapped her head before leaving.

Amiyah smiled watching her brother disappear out the door.

__________________________________

“So you tryna tell me you never saw the movie Soul Food?” Harmony stopped in the middle of crocheting her blanket.

Erik chuckled shaking his head. “Nah I told you I wasn’t a big movie watcher growing up.”

“But Soul Food is a classic though. Like how you do as a black person go your whole life without watching it? Make it make sense Erik?” She giggled going back to her knitting.

“Damn you ain’t gotta come for my childhood like that though.” He sat up on her furniture.

“Oh that’s right I keep forgetting your younger than me so I understand.”

Erik rolled his eyes shaking his head. He was 25 and she was 26. Harmony only had him by one year and always had to bring it up almost every time they got together. But Erik knew it was nothing but jokes with her. They were at her duplex hanging out for the afternoon. Over the past couple of weeks Erik got acquainted with Harmony really well. Her and her brother took over the bar where she worked that her parents passed down to them. She lived right around the block from him. But also they had a lot in common. Both were private people, had similar taste in music, like the same foods, and the lastly great at being single.

Harmony surprised him the first time they had a real deep conversation. She let him know that she wasn’t too bothered with trying to get into a relationship. She said she always had problems in the past so she never did much to try to strive for a new one, but she did remain open minded in the same instance. To Erik she was cool about it and didn’t really bring it up unless he spoke on the subject. They were only friends but they did mess around two or three times, if you want to count a quickie in the bathroom of the bar that she worked at as once.

Their escapades started two weeks ago. Erik thought for sure that he was going to have to deal with her sudden clingy-ness but it didn’t turn out like that. He had to reach out to her afterwards and Harmony told him that she was okay with being friends and fucking at the same time. After that they became somewhat close friends.

Erik got a text from Durk asking to meet up with him about the Valentines Day bash he was throwing. Sending a text back that he was on the way he slipped his phone in his pocket and stood up from the couch.

“I would love to stay but I gotta meet up with someone.” He looked down at her.

Harmony stood up nodding her head. “I’ll walk you out.”

Walking to the door Erik turned around. “Listen my mans is throwing this party on Saturday. If you want to come you can if you free.” He sucked in his top lip.

Harmony smirked biting her bottom one. She stepped closer towards him with a hand on her hip. “You tryna introduce me to your boys already?”

He glanced back in her house before back at her. “I’m just inviting you out to have a good time but if you happened to meet them while doing so then shit yeah.”

Grabbing his shirt she pulled him down to her level and kissed him. Erik wrapped one of his free arms around her tiny waist and traveled down her back to her ass cheeks gripping her left one. He felt her moan into his mouth before she broke the kiss.

Wiping the gloss from his lips she pushed him away and smirked. “I’ll be there.” She stated eyeing him up and down and then closed her door on him.

It took Erik twenty minutes to make it to the auto garage. Getting out and locking his car he headed inside to see Durk, Moe, and Cane gathered around one of the vehicles parked inside. The moment Erik made eye contact with Cane he felt the anger within him ignite. Just being in his presence always made Erik put the blame on him for how things between him and Amiyah ended. When he found out that he took her on a date behind his back Erik was heated and wanted to fuck him up but had to hold off because he didn’t want Durk to know the reason behind it but when Amiyah told him that he kissed her Erik was livid. He couldn’t believe that the same kid who he thought he would like was the same one who turned out to be a snake.

Erik kept his distance from Cane since he put the two and two together and kept it that way. They never said a word to each other unless they had to work with Durk. Strictly for business and that’s all. But Erik was still on edge with Cane knowing about him and Amiyah even though they weren’t together anymore, he just didn’t like the fact that the little nigga had something on him.

Walking up to the trio Erik dapped Mor and Durk, purposefully leaving Cane out. Durk gave a look wondering what was the animosity that the two had against each other all of a sudden before shaking it off.

“What’s up E! Fuck you been at nigga?” Durk asked leaning on the hood of the truck.

“Chillin. So what’s going on with this party you throwing? What’s up with that?” Erik stood next to him between him and Moe.

Durk smirked and paused looking at them. “I just figured I could celebrate the fact that I’m fifteen million dollars richer than a bitch and now in business with Shawns old connect.”

“Damn nigga you finally made that shit happen. Now you could put me in charge of some of these corners, take some of the load of your hands.” Cane spoke with excitement as he dapped him up.

Durk laughed. “Nigga you gonna have to earn that shit. Ain’t nothing given over here.” He nudged him back.

Cane smacked his lips shoving his hands in his pockets.

“Aye congrats man.” Moe spoke up.

Durk saluted him before turning to Erik.

“Erik what you think about that? You know when we get our first few keys I’ma need some help. I want you to be my partner.”

“Nah. I’m not tryna get into this type of business man. I told you after this last job we just did three weeks ago was it for me. I’m done.” Erik spoke truthfully.

Durk shook his head. “Well you didn’t look done to me when we was getting that money.”

*Three Weeks Ago*

Moe sat behind the wheel of the all blacked out SUV. Erik rested in the passenger seat while Durk and Cane hid in the back. Parked at least 200 ft away from the small luxurious house with a fence surrounding the perimeter. Erik used his binoculars to find where his target and accomplice were. It was eight at night and Alexis sent Durk a text letting them know that the two of them would be leaving soon. She informed them about the weekend trip he was bringing her on and told them that it would be better for them to come and get the money after they were gone.

Erik heard an irritated sigh leave out of Canes mouth.

“When these muthafuckas gon leave? I’m tryna get these M’s and be out. We already looking suspicious being in this big ass car.” He sucked his teeth putting on his black gloves.

“Nigga would you shut the fuck up. Yo ass been talking for the past ten minutes.” Durk blew out smoke from his blunt.

“Look she said they was gonna be out any minute now so chill the fuck out!” Erik’s voice heightened without looking back.

Within the next fifteen minutes Alexis was walking out with Shawn. They put their luggage in the trunk before hopping inside the car. After a few minutes of observing them Erik watched as they pulled out the gated driveway and down the road. Durk waited until he got a text from Alexis letting him know that they were on the highway heading to the airport. Moe turned on the truck and pulled up right in front of the house to make it easier to getaway. Getting out Erik, Durk, and Cane put on their gloves and ski mask on their heads so that by the time they would walk inside the home they could pull them down to avoid any security cameras.

“Y’all niggas know the fucking drill. We get the money and we out this bitch. Cane grab the duffles.” Durk instructed as he put his glock on his waist.

Erik watched as Cane did was he was told. His expression was irritated by the fact that he had to take orders which Erik figured he wasn’t to doing. Cane had the attitude of trying to be a leader but he just didn’t know how to operate as one yet. Erik picked up his own duffle and walked to the driver side where Moe was seated.

“You remember the signal right? Hit the lock alarm on the truck in a pattern of three times if you feel like something’s wrong.”

“But Durk said not to interrupt unless I actually see someone coming.” Moe stated unsure.

Looking over towards Durk and Cane who were waiting Erik shook his head turning back to Moe. “Trust me man. If you feel like something is wrong give us a heads up. Better safe and out of jail than sorry. Got it?” Erik knitted his eyebrows letting him know that he was serious.

Moe nodded and rolled up his window. Erik then started to hike towards the gate. Entering the code that was given to him he put it in watching the wide gates open slowly. They headed towards the house. Checking around the perimeter of the area, they planned to avoid using the front door. So they asked Alexis to leave one of her side doors unlocked. Cane walked towards it first and wiggled the handle. When the door popped up with ease he looked back and smiled before sliding his mask over his face. Durk and Erik did the same following him inside.

The three pair of eyes wandered around in amaze as the toured throughout the luxurious mini mansion. Erik shook his head as he thought about how Alexis didn’t have a problem risking living like this just to satisfy her selfish needs. She had everything that she ever wanted. Money, cars, the latest fashion, and her hair and nails were always in tip top shape.

Not only that but this house that she could live in full time if she chose to. From the way she would tell them how Shawn was stuck on stupid over her let Erik know that the nigga loved her enough to put up with her and her how shit. There was no way that he was going around town not knowing what his own fiancée was doing. He had to know but just to stupid in love to do anything about it. Erik scoffed to himself never wanting to be that deep in love with someone.

“Aye y’all niggas come up here! I think I got something.” Cane shouted from the top of the banister on the second floor.

Jogging up the stairs, Erik behind Durk, went into the master bedroom. They looked around trying to see why he called them in there.

“Nigga what are we supposed to be looking at?” Durk asked through his mask.

“That’s what I thought when I came in here at first. Nothing looks out of the ordinary but check this out. This some rich shit here.” Going over to the walk in closet Cane pushed aside some of Shawns suits that was hanging up revealing a small red button. When he clicked it the wall slid to the side disappearing.

“You gotta be fuckin kidding me.” Erik whispered to himself.

It was a panic room. Inside the blue neon lit medium sized room was guns holstered against the wall. The ammo inside their cases sat to the side. Erik looked to the right to find that there was some of Shawn’s famous ice pieces laid out on a shelf. All of his most prized possessions was in this room and they had access to all of it. But Erik wasn’t here for that. They had a mission and that was to try and walk out with as much of that money as they can.

“Fuck y’all niggas doing standing around. Get to bagging this shit up.” Durk laughed unzipping his duffel bags.

The money was in a clear casing directly in the middle of the room. It was too much cash to try and fit it all in one duffel bag so they all got three each but it still didn’t look like it would work. Working as fast as they could they were starting to run out of room.

“Durk we don’t have enough bags for this shit.” Cane told him standing up.

Durk looked up at him while placing the stacks in his bags. “So then go run ya ass down to the truck dump it out and come back in here for the rest.” Erik could see that Cane looked confused through his mask. “Now!” Durk yelled.

After the repeated cycle of going back and forth it took them fifteen minutes to gather all of the money. Durk grabbed what he had left and went to the car while Erik and Cane got the rest. To Erik’s surprise everything was going smooth until he seen Cane reach for Shawns jewelry. He knew that it was a bad idea but decided not to say anything. That would be the consequences that Cane would have to deal with and not him.

The sound of the car alarm went off and they immediately ran out of the room and out the house. Throwing the bags in the back Erik hopped back into the car. Moe pulled off once they were safely in. Pulling off his mask he felt Durk slap his shoulder and laughing in celebration as if he just won the lottery.

“With all this money right here. Mufuckas gon be calling me the black Pablo Escobar because I’m bout to take over all of this shit.” Durk laughed smelling the cash.

Erik shook his head. He was glad that it was finally over but deep down inside him he had a terrible feeling that it was the worst decision he ever made.

*Flashback Over*

Erik folded his arms as he jogged his memory of the prior event.“I’ll have to think about it. This some serious shit you asking me Durk. Next level shit.”

Durk smacked his lips. “You always gotta think about some shit instead of doing it. But anyways, I’m doing a lil bash and I want y’all niggas to be there.”

Everyone shook their head agreeing.

“It’s gonna be some bad bitches in there right? I might have to throw on my best walking up in that bitch.” Cane joked around showing off his new Patek Philippe watch.

“I don’t know why you asking. They ain’t gon be worried about ya young broke ass with that pond shop watch you got on.” Durk clowned him rolling his eyes.

Erik smirked watching Cane dismiss him with a wave of his hand. “I’ll be there and I’ma bring a plus one. That’s cool?” Erik asked dapping him up. He seen Cane looking confused at him out the corner of his eye.

“So you done found someone else to get ya dick wet? I thought you was gonna be stuck on that bitch Alexis for a minute.” Durk teased him smiling.

“Fuck you worried about my dick for? Gay ass!” Erik laughed pushing him. “Nah she just a friend. I met her at this bar she work at down from my place. She real cool.” He smiled thinking about Harmony.

“Well I’ll be the judge of that when I meet her. I’ll see you on Saturday.”

The two dapped each other up with a side hug and departed from one another.

__________________________

“You sure your brother ain’t gonna have a problem with you putting on that outfit for tonight.” Kelley question Amiyah as she pulled down the front of her dress.

It was finally Saturday night. The night of the Valentine’s Day bash and it was fifteen minutes after nine. They were running late. Durk had told her make it before that time so that she would be let inside without any complications but of course she didn’t listen. Amiyah was stuck choosing between dresses as the time went by. After finding out that Erik was going to be there she wanted to look her best. She hadn’t seen him in a month and she was going to try and impress him some how.

“Why? Do I look okay? Does it fit my body right?” She rambled the questions as she tried to take off the fifth dress for the night.

Kelley rolled her eyes getting. She was already dressed and ready to pick her up by eight thirty but when she walked in Amiyah’s room she was still in her bra and panties.

“You look fine. I think that this is the one you should actually wear. You look beautiful.” She rested her chin on her opened shoulder giving her a soft smile.

Amiyah glanced at her appearance in her body length mirror. She tugged at the pink tie-dye fashion nova Rustic Root Ruched Mini Dress. Her shoulders were out in the open and her cleavage on full display. She knew that there was no way she would be around her brother tonight. Knowing him he would try to send her back home to change and embarrass her in front of everyone. Amiyah blew out air of frustration while throwing her head back.

“Your not just saying that because I’m taking too long are you?” She squinted her eyes at Kelley.

Kelley giggled. “Yes I am but it do look good now let’s hurry up and go before we don’t get in at all.”

Finishing up her final touches Amiyah did a last sweep over her body before grabbing her coat and heading out with Kelley to her car. The club was a good twenty minutes away but with there barely being any cars out tonight they made it in fifteen. Pulling up to the location Kelley and Amiyah both whispered a “damn” at the scene in front of them.

“Your brother wasn’t lying when he said that he was gon have the whole hood pop out.” Kelley exclaimed as she fortunately found parking.

“I guess he wasn’t.” Amiyah whispered to herself. She was starting to feel self conscious about her choice of clothing all over again. The expression was written on her face.

“Listen let me tell you this. We are about to go up in here and have the best night of our lives. We gon dance, diss any niggas that try to step to us, drink, and get fucked up. Don’t worry about what other people think. They already have an idea of you in their head so why stress yourself trying to change it. Fuck what they think.” Kelley lectured while applying her lip gloss.

Amiyah giggled nodding her head. Her confidence level going up just a bit from the pep talk. She answered her back with a “thank you” as they got out the car. Walking hand and hand, they walked to the front of the line. The music blasting on the inside was clearly audible on the out. Sounds of people complaining could be heard when they reached the bouncer.

“I hate to be the one to tell you beautiful ladies but the end of the line is down there.” The tall and buff light skinned bouncer pointed in the direction.

“Oh see we’re with her brother, the one who’s supposed to be hosting the bash, Durk.” Kelley spoke for them.

He raised an eyebrow looking back and forth between them. “Y’all with Durk?”

They nodded in unison while smiling.

“Yeah well you and everyone else. Now get to the back of my line.” His face stern and unfazed.

“Wait Durk is my brother and he told me to be here early but I was running late. Can you just let us in and I’ll bring him back out here to confirm it.” Amiyah pleaded with her hands folded.

“Girl you not the first one that claimed to be some type of family member of his to get in free. Besides I ain’t never heard about Durk having no sister.” The bouncer eyed her up and down with disbelief.

Amiyah sighed. She didn’t even bother to try and call him because she knew that he wouldn’t be able to hear it over the loud music. She gave Kelley an apologetic look as they started to walked to the end but the sound of someone calling her name stopped her.

“Amiyah?”

Turning around she saw Cane walking up to the front. He was wearing a white Christian Dior newspaper denim jean jacket. Underneath was a plain black Dior shirt and black washed jeans to match. Inhaling a sharp breath, Amiyah forgot about him being one of those included.

“Hey Cane. What are you doing here?” She replied softly. She was embarrassed being seen walking to the back of the line.

“I’m here for the party. Why you not inside?” He asked with a smile.

“The bouncer won’t let us in. He thinks we’re just tryna cut the line.” She shrugged rolling her eyes at the security guy.

Cane laughed catching her action. “Do you not know who the host is to this shit? Your brother, that nigga should be escorting you in.”

Amiyah laughed shaking her head.

“Come on. I got y’all.”

Kelley smirked at her as they folded their arms together walking back to the front. They stood next to Cane watching him speak to the guy.

“Yo Diamond, they with me and this is Durk lil sis. Remember her face and think twice next time before you try and keep her from getting in. Got it?” Cane tapped his shoulder creating space for them to walk pass.

“I got it.” The bouncer mumbled letting them by.

When they made it in it was packed to the max in the venue. There was beautiful women and fine men all through the place. Pop Smokes- Hello bombed through the speakers. Bottle girls danced while holding up Don Julio 1942’s and sparklers in the air. Amiyah was impressed with the turn out. She reached for Kelley as they both of their lips curled up with excitement.

“We bout to be lit as fuck.” Kelley yelled over the music.

Feeling a tap on her shoulder she turned to face Cane. His eyes traveling over her body made her stomach fill up with nerves. “Yeah?”

“VIP is up there. I think your brother would want you to be there.” Cane licked his lips. His eyes couldn’t stop going below her face.

Amiyah nodded. “Okay.” She grabbed Kelley’s hand as he led the way up the stairs.

Spotting her brother, Durk had different girls surrounding him. One was twerking on him while the other two recorded and took shots from the tequila bottles. Amiyah rolled her eyes at the sight. Walking over to him she patted his shoulder trying to get his attention.

“Can I help you?” He snapped his head at her.

Amiyah chuckled noticing he was tipsy but also that he didn’t even recognize her. “Really Derrick you don’t even know your own sister?” She folded her arms.

Pushing the girl who was dancing on him out the way he faced her looking over her. Durks face contorted up confused at her outfit.

“Who are you? Because I know Amiyah ass ain’t come out the house like that-“

“Don’t start Durk you promise.” She cut him off reminding him.

He took off his jacket and pushed it towards her. “Here at least put this on.”

Amiyah laughed pushing it away. “I left mine in the car for a reason. Leave me alone.” She started to walk away but felt him grab her wrist.

“Unh uh I didn’t forget. I told you you was going to stay beside me all night, so have fun.” He went back to letting the girls dance on him.

Kelley looked at him with disgust before turning to her friend. “I’m about to get us a drink from the bar. I’ll be back...maybe.” She stated the last part lowly but Amiyah heard it. She watched her leave the VIP section.

Opening up one of the 1942’s that was on the table Amiyah figured she could get her drink on right here. Tilting her head back she allowed the liquor to go down her throat. She made a sour face shaking her head from the taste. She repeated it giving herself four shots. Amiyah wasn’t much of a drinker so it didn’t take much to get her tipsy. Standing on the couch next to her brother she rocked side to side rapping the lyrics along to the song.

“Amiyah sit ya light weight ass down.” Durk yelled drunkenly towards her.

She waved him off and continued to do her thing. From the way she was standing she had a view of whoever was going to come in the section. She thought it was the liquor playing tricks with her until she saw him take more steps coming up. He was dressed in a two tone knitted Givenchy sweater with black jeans. The blinging from his watch and gold chains around his neck caught her eyes. When he smiled he revealed the gold canines in his mouth. His beard looking freshly moisturized and his waves on swim. His eyes were low which told her that he probably smoke a couple of blunts before coming inside. He looked so good.

Amiyah watched as he greeted everyone in the section with salutes and daps before walking up to her brother who was seated next to her.

“Nigga why the fuck you got to come up here and show me out for my shit?” Durk yelled playfully standing up and boxing him.

Amiyah watched as they interacted with each other. At least her question from earlier was answered. They look like they were still best friends.

“Come on man, this light work.” His voice coming out as smooth as butter.

“Yeah whatever nigga.” Durk turned towards her making her status known. “Miyah you not gon say what’s up to Erik?”

When she heard his name she got butterflies in her stomach. It was like it was her first time meeting him all over again. After a month of not seeing him nothing had changed. Her feelings for him never fading but only enhancing the minute she saw him.

“Hey Erik.” She smiled softly putting the bottle that was in her hand down and stepped off the seat.

Erik nodded his head towards her. “What’s good!” He stated nonchalantly. Amiyah couldn’t deny that she was hurt from the tone in his voice. He didn’t even smile at her, only just a nod. But yet they kept eye contact with each other.

“So where she at? I’m trying to meet this “friend”.” Durk asked doing the quotation marks with his fingers.

Amiyah stood to the side confused hearing her brother over the loud music. She didn’t realize that there was a small petite woman standing somewhat behind Erik until her brother mentioned the word ‘she’. She watched as Erik held her hand pulling her in front of him. His arms wrapped around her waist pulling her into him as he rocked them side to side lightly.

“This is my friend Harmony. Harmony this is my best friend and brother Durk.” Erik smiled introducing them. Amiyah felt a sting when he didn’t even bother to introduce her.

She laughed holding her hand out to shake his. “Hi it’s nice to finally meet you. I heard a lot about you Durk.”

Amiyah observed Harmony. She was beautiful. Nice brown skin complexion, pretty hair that looked natural like it was hers, her outfit hugged her coke bottle shape. She had the perfect breast to hips and ass ratio. Her waist barely existing. Amiyah took note of everything. Everything that she dreamed to be but wasn’t. Sadness clouded over her face as she watched them embrace each other.

“Well I hope he told you only good things. But fuck all that you are beautiful ma. I don’t know how you ended up with this ugly ass nigga.” Durk joked around.

Erik gave him a straight face before laughing. “Fuck outta here. So what’s up where the drinks at? You know I need my shit.”

Durk nodded his head going to the table and grabbed his personal bottle of Hennessy and handing it to him. “Drink up!”

Amiyah watched him crack open his bottle and drunk it down like it was water. The little action reminding her of the time when she was at his condo and how he sipped on the bitter drink before showing her the crazy things he could do with his tongue. Amiyah bit her inner cheek grabbing her own bottle and throwing it back two more times.

“Damn girl you can drink.” She heard a light voice laugh. Turning her head while wiping her mouth she saw that it was Harmony.

Amiyah smiled shyly. “I’m just tryna turn up while I can.” Her words a little slurred.

“I’m Harmony. I came with Erik.” Harmony held her hand out again.

Amiyah glanced at it quickly before shaking it. “Amiyah.”

“That’s a pretty name. Are you Durks girl?” She asked genuinely.

Amiyah scrunched her face up doing a fake puke. “Uh no that’s my brother. I came here with him and my friend who’s somewhere around here.”

Harmony laughed holding her fist up to her mouth. She shook her head. “I’m sorry I just saw you standing up here next to him that’s all. Erik didn’t tell me he had a sister.”

“It’s okay.” Amiyah turned her direction towards Erik who was sipping on his bottle while listening to whatever Durk was telling him in his ear. Once again she was hurt when Harmony told her that she didn’t know about her.

For the rest of the night she remained in same spot. Babysitting the area. Kelley came back a few times trying to get her to sneak away but she didn’t want to. Her mood was ruined every time she would look in their direction to find Harmony grinding on Erik and him standing there catching what she was throwing. So she drunk her bottle and danced next to her brother who would wrap his arm over her shoulder as they rapped to whatever song was playing.

In the mist of the party Amiyah saw Erik whisper something to Harmony before getting up to leave the section. She figured she could use this chance to find him and talk to him. To see how he was doing. To get him to look at her the way he used to. Anything to be near him.

“I’m going to the bathroom.” Amiyah shouted to her brother who only nodded his head drinking out of her bottle.

Walking out the section she bumped and squeeze passed the bodies. She didn’t have a clue where he went. She thought she could catch up with him but with a crowd like the one that was in there tonight it was hopeless. Amiyah gave up trying to search for his frame over the party goers. She strolled to the back hall that held the bathrooms. Going inside the music level dimmed down making it easy to hear if someone was to have a conversation back here.

Dragging her fingers across the wall, her head stayed down not paying attention to what was in front of her causing her to bump into someone.

“Damn my bad.” His deep voice spoke lowly.

Looking up, it was Erik. His eyes were low and going over her body as he stroked his beard.

“It’s o-okay.” Her words becoming a stutter.

Erik nodded his head. She looked tipsy to him or maybe even drunk. He never seen her in this state so it was hard for him to decipher. But Erik knew that he couldn’t leave her alone like this. He wanted to make sure that she was okay.

“You good? You look a lil fucked up.” He spoke bluntly.

“I’m fine. I didn’t have that much.” Amiyah replied. She was tipsy but still was aware of what she was doing.

“I could wait until your finished in the bathroom. We could walk back together.” Erik shoved his hands in his pockets.

Amiyah leaned on the wall with her hands behind her back. “I don’t think your girlfriend would like the sight of us coming back at the same time.”

He smirked as his jaw clenched. “You worried about her when all I’m trying to do is make sure you make it back safe. I don’t want none of these weird ass niggas trying shit. But you thinking about Harmony.” He shook his head as he leaned against the other wall directly in front of her.

“I’m just saying she might get the wrong idea-“

“She’s not my girl.” Erik spoke up cutting her sentence.

Amiyah rolled her eyes and scoffed. “You told me that the last time.” She mumbled knowing he could hear.

Erik’s faces scrunched up. “What’s it to you? Why does it matter if she’s my girl or not?” His arms now folded.

“Because I just find it funny how quick you moved on that fast.” Amiyah snapped looking him up and down.

Erik chuckled. “But wasn’t it you that broke up with me? So I don’t get how you could be hurt by the fact that I’m moving on and you stuck.”

“No Erik I’m hurt at the fact that you act like nothing happened between us.” She was gaining her liquid courage when she stepped in his face. “And how you can just bring her here to meet my brother but not have the decency to even look my way.”

Erik sucked in his bottom lip watching her express herself. “Still don’t know what that got to do with you.” He shrugged.

He was just as hurt as she was. His feelings for her were still raw and there but he wanted to make her feel the same way he felt when she ended it with him. When Erik introduce Harmony to Durk and not Amiyah he did it on purpose. The way he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her body close to his was on purpose. The way he let her dance on him in front of her was on purpose. He could feel her stares on them. Erik was hurt and he wanted her to know what he was feeling.

Amiyah scoffed shaking her head. “What is it about her that’s so special? What? The fact that you can fuck her without having to worry about her crazy ass brother finding out about it. That’s why you’re fucking her?”

Erik chuckled. “How would you know if I’m fucking her or not?”

“For you to be some drug dealer you sure are a fucking coward Erik!” Amiyah pushed his chest but he caught her by the wrist.

“I told you I’m not a fucking drug dealer and for someone to not ride dick...you sure are riding mine. Why you worried about who I’m fucking if you ain’t the fucking me?” Erik’s words were hard.

Amiyah stared at him. “I hate you.” She mumbled looking at his lips trying to free herself.

Erik backed her into the wall. He put her hands above her head and interlocking their fingers as he looked down at her and towered over her body. “Fuck you say to me?”

“I said I hate you-“

Her words were cut off with his lips connecting to hers. His hold left her hands and his arms wrapped around her waist. Traveling down to her ass he cupped both cheeks firmly. Erik felt his dick jump when she moaned into his mouth . Her tongue gliding with his as he felt the warmth of it overtaking his body. It’s been over a month since he felt her lips. Erik’s heart was beating fast knowing that it was risky to be making out with Durks sister and how anyone could walk in and see them. But he couldn’t stop and didn’t want to.

Amiyah moaned as she held his face bringing him impossibly closer than what he already was. She could taste the Hennessy off of his tongue mixed with her tequila. She was putting everything that she was feeling into this kiss. She wanted him to know that she missed him and wanted to start over. She didn’t mean it when she said that she hated him. With the alcohol and emotions getting in the way she wanted to say anything to keep him by her.

Erik pulled away with a tug of her lower lip and placed a soft peck on it. He cursed at himself for falling weak for her once again. No matter how much space they had away from each other she was always able to pull him in.

“What is it about her that I’m not?” Amiyah interrupted his thoughts. She tried to stop herself from asking the question but she wanted to know.

Erik sighed putting his forehead against hers. “You gotta learn how to stop questioning yourself when it comes to these other females. Your beautiful ma. Stop that shit.” He gave her one last kiss on the top of her head as he left her standing there alone going back to the party.

“Okay.” Amiyah whispered to herself.

__________________________________________

Please excuse any mistakes!

Tag-List

@supersizemeplz @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @hearteyes-for-killmonger @curls-and-crosses @killmonger-dolan @killmongerkink @migosis @raysunshine78 @alookintohersoul @popcorn803 @just-juicee @mllover260 @kimmyblckswan2 @koriiii @tchallasbabymama @toniilaney @marvelmaree @mia-faith @adreamsublime @queen-b1 @mcdesij @vintage-pvssy @viewsfromrose @ceeverse @smuttywriter @harleycativy @callmemckenzieee @theblulife @bvssmob @everything-is-awesomesauce @xoxomyaah @19jammmy @tchallas-ikumkani-wam @suburbanblackhoe @allhailqueennel @admirehermind @themeirajay @asaanime @bellanay @skylahb @toni9 @iambabyharry @kiabialia @youlovetkay @lahuttor @kehlaniswifee @childishgambinaax @readingaddict1290 @sociallyawkward18 @iamching07 @sourbabynaee @unholyxcumbucket @efonteno @xsweetdellzx @shalynn-m @joanna-doe @beautifullmelodyxx @browngirldominion @rbhp



[creativeashproductions]

A Distant Dream III // Luke Patterson

Summary: In 1994 seventeen year old Luke Patterson had once again to ask out the girl that held his heart. With the belief he would see the younger Mercer girl the next morning he decides to then confess his feelings. Only the soft music bewitched the reader into an antique wardrobe with lots of history.

Warnings: Swearing, grief, magic wardrobe, talk of death, angst, and fluff

Words: 3.2k

A/N: I’m loving this series omg.

TO BE TAGGED SEND AN INBOX/ASK PLEASE!

Masterlist

“It should be somewhere in here,” Julie spoke with the flashlight scanning the basement the Molina’s didn’t use. She was hunting for the spare cord her mother had always carried with the amp for the few times she played with her old band for fun.

Most of the stuff had found its way in the basement, collecting dust and leaving sadness in its wake. Reggie’s had snapped early this morning to his great disappointment and with no spare in sight.

As Julie’s hand brushed her old childhood dollhouse, a soft golden light gleamed from further back. Her brown eyes finding the corner when the golden glow was framing a square in the distance. Rocking back on the heels of her feet, Julie stared at the sight.

Faint music came from the surrounding area of the golden glow. The Puerto Rican is enthralled by the bewitching music coming from the back of the basement. Her sneakered feet walking closer to the wardrobe as the creak of a door came from it.

Julie halted as the sheet slipped off, revealing the old wood to her brown eyes and the golden glow brightening the room further. The telltale sound of noise behind her concealed by the music that grew louder and louder. The door unlatched itself with a form slamming the basement floor with a slam.

Julie stumbled back. A deep groan pulled from the stranger’s lips before Julie’s scream ripped through the once empty room. The cry of a male behind her joining the screams as Julie turned on her heel halting at the pure unadulterated fear on Alex’s face.

“What the hell?” Alex hissed, staring at the prone form of a girl with long hair intricately pinned in places. The formal hairstyle at war with the outfit Alex could just barely make out as a plaid skirt reaching mid-thigh over sheer black tights. The colour of the skirt concealed by the dim lighting.

“Peter.” The name slipped from your lips filled with anguish as you frantically crawled to the wardrobe to search it.

The scream of grief falling from your lips as your hand made contact with the wooden back of the wardrobe. Your arms wrapped around your middle as you collapsed into yourself as it cemented in your brain. Your life in Narnia ended in seconds.

“Excuse me? How the heck did you do that?” Julie’s terrified voice questioned as she fought her impulse to run. Just as she had from the boys when they first appeared in the studio.

The truth of the matter settling you swiftly turned to the voice surprised you had left yourself vulnerable to attack. Your wild eyes scanning the room for a sword, or even your bow that was always strapped to you. You found only a basement with old furniture instead and two teens staring shocked at you.

“Where-“

“Y/N?” The blonde boy gasped stumbling forward taken aback by the sudden appearance of his little sister. Your eyes meeting his blue confused before memories of him snapped in your brain previously hidden behind a wall.

“Alex?” You questioned, throwing yourself into his arms to wrap your arms around him as you dissolved into sobs. Alex melting into your body sobbing just as hard.

“I’m two seconds away from storming Dr. Turner’s office, I swear. First, three ghosts appear in my studio and now a girl out of a wardrobe also from the ’90s.” Julie muttered scrubbing her hand over her face. Your eyes wandering to her form in confusion at what she had said.

“’ also from the ’90s’?” You asked, stepping one step away from Alex who refused to let you go as if you would disappear once more, “What year is it?”

“How about we talk about this in the studio. Reggie and Luke are in the studio, I came to get Julie. You’ve been down here for a while.” Alex suggested with a look that Julie caught quickly. Alex didn’t want to prolong the reunion with the rest of the guys.

Alex walked up from the basement with Julie straight to the door with dozens of questions in his brain. This was a change he welcomed with open arms and a happy heart. The house was empty as Ray had taken Carlos to an all-day out of town baseball tournament.

Luke and Reggie’s voices drifted out from the studio blocked by the white barn doors only partially open. The two arguing about the band playing one of Reggie’s country songs on stage. Their attention not on the three people walking into the room as Luke stretched out on his back on his sofa. Reggie curled in one of the armchairs beside the couch.

“It’s not our sound!” Luke spoke, staring his bassist down with a heated glare that wasn’t as harsh as if it was someone else.

“Pop wasn’t either but look where we are now?” Reggie retorted with his arms crossed and a pout painted on his flushed face. Alex could sigh at the same debate that happened at least twice a week.

“Sunset Curve is pop now?” Your soft voice still tortured with loss bringing both the boys to the front of the studio. Standing uncomfortable in the clothing that revealed more skin in the fifteen years you had been in Narnia.

The gasps would have amused Alex had this sudden development not happened, especially when his long lost sister fell out of a wardrobe. Luke and Reggie stumbled to their feet in pure astonishment seeing the person they had dreamed of seeing one more time.

“Holy shit.” Luke choked blinking frantically as you sent an awkward smile to the face of the person that had haunted you for fifteen years.

“Y/N?” Reggie cried, raising both hands to cover his mouth as if it would hold in the heartbreaking sobs.

Julie took the initiative to step to the side to allow the reunion to happen without a distraction, but really it was impossible. A bomb could drop, and none of the ’90s teens would notice with their attention solely on each other.

“Are you a ghost?” Reggie questioned you with furrowed brows. Alex’s hand intertwined with yours.

At the familiar texture and comfort of your older brother’s comforting hand, your eyes clenched tight—tears building at the very different hands you had held for over a decade.

“Ghost?” You questioned, clearing your tight throat in bewilderment. Your e/c eyes changing between the three different eyes. The three boys shared a glance with each other, “Does anyone have a sweater I could borrow?”

Alex was surprised at the request, “You want a sweater? You adore midriff shirts.”

“That was before.” You simply stated, “So what has happened?”

That was the words that shattered the frozen form of Luke Patterson, who stumbled his way to hug you. His arms wrapping around, brought both relief but also guilt. This was the guy that had been the third party of your marriage without even knowing. The thoughts caused your muscles to tense, leading Luke to a different conclusion.

Luke believed you rejected his hug because you blamed him.

“You’re not a ghost?” Reggie questioned following as you sat on the sofa in such an uncharacteristic position.

Your posture entirely pin straight with an air of regality that went above the posture you had as a young Mercer. Alex’s eyebrows raised almost into his hairline at how you held yourself compared to the slight slouch you developed away from your parents. His blue eyes caught the calm mask that concealed your panic under a practised mask.

“You disappeared in 1994 after you spent supper with my family.” Luke softly started recalling the night his life first changed for the worse, “You left just before dark after time got away from us. You sent a smile before the plants hid your form and I never saw you again.”

A sad smile broke the mask you wore, “I’m sorry the fifteen years have made it difficult for memories.”

“Fifteen years?” Julie interrupted, bringing your attention to the girl in the corner with a soft voice. Her eyes couldn’t help scan you and Alex finding the similarities and differences, but she loved how relaxed Alex looked in your presence.

“Time is…different where I was.” The sentence was slow to leave your lips as your eye wandered the different version of the studio.

“Was it a black room?” Reggie inquired shifting for Julie to have space to sit down without her limbs moving through Reggie’s leg. Alex was quick to settle on your left side with Luke in the closest armchair to you.

“No?” You trailed off thinking of the years you had spent ruling a kingdom with your in-laws, “I-I think when I left Luke’s house, there was this music. Like a lullaby that drew me into this antique store and a voice out of a dream. I was entranced, and then I was in a different world.”

“You have an accent.” Luke implored finally seeing the mature difference in your demeanour, posture and personality, “Like it’s English but still sounds like you. Were you in England?”

The soft giggle came from your lips, “No. I swear on Aslan I wasn’t in England.”

Everyone was deaf to Julie’s confusion and her soft repeat of the name you whispered into the air. The word drawing a sense of having had heard it before it comes her way.

“Who’s Aslan?” Alex asked unclipping his infamous fanny pack to remove the pink sweater. He couldn’t help but see the way you tugged the plaid skirt down and your black crop top down.

Your hand grasped the soft material of the pink sweater, the first pink garment Alex had owned. His pride and joy of a sweater was slipped over your outfit landed past the hem of your skirt.

“He’s…” Your words broke off, trying to find a way how to tell them that Aslan ruled the entirety of Narnia. He created it, but he was a lion that could talk.

“I’d like to know how you’ve been in that wardrobe for so long!” Julie gushed unable to hold back her curiosity, “My parents got that as a wedding gift when they were moving into the house. It was shifted downstairs because my mom couldn’t let it go for the sentimental value.”

“I’m sorry but wardrobe? She came- you came out of a wardrobe?” Alex wondered, shaking his head before he said his infamous word, “Okay.”

“I was trying to find a spare cord for Reggie, but out of absolutely nowhere, this music came from the back area. This pretty golden hue lit up the room, and then she just fell out of the wardrobe.”

“I’m so confused,” Reggie whispered to himself, staring off into the distance at two things he had learnt.

You had gone missing before they died yet for you, only fifteen years had gone by.

You had been in a wardrobe. A wardrobe!

“So are you dead or not?” Julie asked next leaning forward to face you in anticipation for the new piece of information. Her inquisitive brown eyes glittering in the light of the studio as you tried to find the correct words.

“I’m alive.” You decided to go the simple route, “I’m guessing that you three are dead?”

Alex, Reggie and Luke all nodded with each other, “Street dogs. How aren’t you fazed?”

“Uh, I walked into a wardrobe. Joined a war, won the war, got crowned for the kingdom by Aslan, and grew up.” You tapped a finger for each piece of your fifteen years, much easier to just use your perspective, “Fifteen years ruling with Peter and his siblings.”

“Peter?” Alex inquired with one dark blonde eyebrow raised high with caution written clearly on his youthful face.

“My husband.” The words choked everyone in the damn room, and Luke felt like he could puke. The girl he was still very much in love with was now taken by someone else just weeks after he grieved the almost-relationship he could have had with you.

Adjusting to the new world, the third time in your, life wasn’t as difficult as you would have expected. Well, adapting to the technological advances and the new band Sunset Curve had evolved into. The relationship with Luke was at simplicity quite awkward, something Luke never anticipated when he envisioned finding you.

It was painful for everyone in the room with you two. You were trying to deal with the guilt of abandoning your kingdom, of your Narnian friends, of not being with the Pevensies. You had a strong suspicion they had returned back to England, and the time was the hardest to deal with.

Instead of 1994, the current year was 2020 for you—twenty-six years in this world but fifteen in Narnia. You didn’t look a day over your age in 1994. Looking in mirrors was startling every time to see your teen youth instead of the thirty-one-year-old.

Happily, the bond with Alex hadn’t diminished if anything it had gotten stronger. He was assimilating to the new fashion you liked. You had a more mature style and preferred modest outfits; the Narnian fashion was still very much part of you.

Reggie adored hearing the adventures you had done in Narnia, he grew a crush on the version of Lucy you told. He was definitely awed at how you had had a stable of horses that could talk, some weren’t vocal.

All three boys were jealous of the fact that despite being born in the late ’70s, you were alive in 2020. You could touch and interact with everyone while they only had each other, and now you. Flynn had been sceptical but grew to be friends with you.

For you, you would be found staring out the window in the attic of the Molina house where you had settled in. A rather long-winded explanation of being from overseas and your housing having fallen through. Ray and welcomed you into the home with open arms.

“Hey! We’re gonna go explore. Do you wanna come with us?” Alex asked from his spot near the door he had poked his head through. His smile turning upside down at the lost look in your eyes and fingers that played with the only evidence of your Narnian life.

The ring you had worn since Peter had proposed ten years ago with a specially designed ring by the best of the business. Cair Paravel’s military General, formerly of Aslan’s Army, Oreius’ sister Odette had personally pushed the contract to the front.

The ring was absolutely breathtaking of a moonstone set in a rose gold floral metal setting with tiny diamonds in a flora design. It was definitely made with the rarest rose gold, and the moonstone was personally found on a quest Peter had gone on. You were thrilled it had survived the return to the human world.

“Y/N?” Alex spoke once more, gaining your attention from the overcast sky with a bittersweet smile.

“Hey, Alex.” You replied, walking closer for the hug he had quickly made into a requirement every time he saw you.

“Reggie, Luke and I are going to explore if you want to join us.”

The offer was tempting even if you had to submit to being in an awkward environment with Luke Patterson. Seeing him each time brought that love that had overshadowed Peter’s love and that in itself brought tremendous guilt.

“I think I’ll hang here. Thank you for inviting me, Alex.” You softly replied as you retreated to the bed in the large renovated attic. Ray and Rose had renovated it into living space when Julie was still in elementary school.

Ray had spent a few months staying in the attic room after Rose passed away because he couldn’t even touch the doorknob. His sister in law Victoria had to help move things to the attic as Ray mourned his wife.

“I’ll be right back,” Alex told you before he poofed, something you still couldn’t wrap your mind around.

Instead of Alex returning it was Luke with that sheepish smile he adorned in the last week you had returned. Your e/c eyes widened in surprise when they met the hazel of his own.

“Luke.” You breathed astounded as he hesitantly walked closer, “Aren’t you going with Reggie and Alex?”

Luke’s hand gestured to the bed, “May I sit?”

“Yeah!” You nodded shifted to create distance between you and the guitarist that had once held your heart in his hands.

Things were different. The ring on your left hand said so. The wedding ceremony in Narnia said so. Yet your heart didn’t understand further than the yearning and love it throbbed with.

“Alex kinda hit some sense into me. This has been…a rather confusing time since that night in 1995.” Luke didn’t talk about his experience dying with anyone because he was still working through it. To avoid the pain and trauma, he focused on the band instead.

“I can attest to that. A week ago, I was with my family hunting for the White Stag content with my life. Next thing I knew I’m racing after Lucy into a wardrobe in which blasted me with memories.” You sighed thinking back to the banter with Edmund and Susan before Lucy uttered ‘Spare Oom’ of a distant time, “I feel terrible that I had no conscious recollection of my life before Narnia. I’d see a tall blonde in the crowd and have this sudden emotion of loss. I forgot about my own brother.”

“I can’t blame you for anything. You had a responsibility to an entire kingdom.”

“Part of me must have remembered because when I was gifted my horse, it asked me to name her. I chose Mercer without thinking about why. It’s always interested me in the reason behind the choice.” You played with the bedspread to avoid his face and the guilt of abandoning him unintentionally or not.

“How was the music in Narnia?” Luke inquired, bringing a neutral topic to once best friends in the process of recovering the friendship, “Any rock?”

The laugh lightened the heaviness in Luke’s chest and brought a smile to both the teens’ faces. Music was always one of the topics you could talk for hours with the band given the classical background you had.

“None that we had the honour of hearing.” The grin brought a smile to Luke’s face as well, and then some of the pieces of your friendship found their place in the frame.

“So, tell me more about this place.”

And so, you did as the sun set and then rose hours later while you were content to retell the tale of your time. The war with the White Witch and watching Edmund take his last breath and his first one after a drop from Lucy’s Cordial.

As you retold your tale of adventures to Luke, a quartet of siblings scoured a wardrobe decades before the conversation commenced.

A little girl sobbing for her lost sister and greatest friend while her oldest brother closed himself off. A seventeen-year-old closed himself off, finding it difficult adjusting to being a teen once more. As if he hadn’t lived fifteen years with his wife beside him. As if he never had a wife.

Above is the Narnia engagement ring reader wears from Peter

Tag List (PLEASE SEND AN INBOX TO BE ADDED! I CANNOT GUARANTEE YOU WILL BE ON THE LIST VIA POST COMMENTS!)

@safehavenmuse @siennanoelle01 @whiterose291 @mell-bell @blackhood5sos @ficrecsideblog @ifilwtmfc @deadpoolgirl23 @crappy-unicorn @sunsetcurve-h @elioelioeli0 @lovesanimals @popcrone818 @lolychu @deepsleepnat @tenaciousperfectionunknown @aunicornmademedoit @just-a-writer-here @simp4reggie​ @faithiebrock01 @overlyhypedup @differentsoulrascalsalad @aesthetic-lyss @versaceapa @carleywhittaker @lostgirl219 @itsalexx21 @elllaoo4 @merxxleighann @mediocremunge @fantomlovesjuke4ever @dpaccione @oswin05 @kaylinfayezink @aberette13 @faithie-brock-gillespie01 @eharvey0218 @overlyhypedup @benstormy @auriandthepussicats @sarcasticsagittarius1998 @whothefuckstolemykeds  @siriuswvrld​ @princessvader15​ @xoxbloodreinaxox @heimdoodle​ @joshy-obx​ @lovesanimals​ @oopsiedoopsie23​ @am3l1a-24 @flying-solo-without-you​ @jaskiers-sweetkiss​ @lostrandomfangirl​n @must-be-a-weasley-92​ @jatp-holland​ @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch @dxlanhxlland​ @dasexydevitt13​ @ifilwtmfc @arianagrandes-things @kinda-really-lost​ @marinettepotterandplagg​​ @ssprayberrythings​​ @morgandamrose @thedarkqueenofavalon​ @zukoshonourr​ @crybabyddl @spooky-season-bitch​ @kcd15​ @morganayennefertyrell @magnet-girl​ @all-in-fangirl​ @kinda-really-lost @tenaciousperfectionunknown​ @badwolf00593​ @blowakissbabe​ @talksoprettyjjx @thesweetestsinner​ @kaitieskidmore1​ @writerinlearning​ @aiofheavenandhell​ @sageellsworth05​ @link-102 @merceret​ @kexrtiz​ @biqherosix @lukewearingbeanies​ @dangersolns @soverignparker @omgdani17​

[krappykawa]

ಌ i mildly like you more than like (p.2)

— in which an incessant fan girl, a kiss, and a little bit of denial makes oikawa tooru realize he might mildly like you more than like

description. you’ve been in love with oikawa tooru for longer than you can remember. having known him for the better part of nearly 11 years, you’ve come to accept that you’ll never be more than a best friend to him. but with the help of a few irritatingly persistent fangirls and a kiss that was only meant to drive them away, a tale of unrequited love might just prove to be something more. 

warnings. language

word count. 3.6k

oikawa x f!reader, childhood best friends to lovers, fluff, some angst

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

It’s just really bad timing for Oikawa that the day after is the day in which the Aoba Johsai third-years planned their monthly hangout. 

He’s rocking back and forth in front of your house, trying not to let the weird feeling in his stomach eat at him. He hasn’t seen you since you both walked home the day before when he was secretly cursing the sun because “did you always look like you were heaven-sent or was it just the lighting?”

In his head, he’s trying to convince himself that he didn’t avoid you this morning - that the reason he didn’t spend the day over at your house before your hangout like he’d always done was because he would see you later anyways. He tries to say that it's because he just needed some time to recharge, which isn’t necessarily false, but it’s a half-truth all the same. 

“Hey.” His head turns to where you’re standing in your doorway, already smiling up at him. “Where’s that outfit from? Iwaizumi’s closet?”

Oikawa looks down at himself. He’s wearing one of the hoodies he did indeed steal from Iwaizumi a few months ago, and he had also opted for a pair of grey sweats that he haphazardly picked out without notice. He did have to admit that it was a very Iwaizumi-style outfit.  “Only the sweatshirt, Y/N-chan. Don’t tease,” he says with his usual chipper voice. 

You shake your head at him, and the small movement draws his gaze to the small alien earrings that dangle from your ears. He wants to ask if you could help him find a plush-sized version of that alien to add to his own plushie collection (that only you and Iwaizumi know about), but by the time he’s opened his mouth, you’re already turning to lock your door. 

You hand him a piece of candy that you had in your pocket and you both begin to walk in a slightly off silence to Iwaizumi’s house. There isn’t necessarily anything uncomfortable about it, but Oikawa’s blinking to himself because you don’t seem to be fazed in the slightest about the happenings of yesterday. Best friends must kiss their best friends all the time don’t they? That’s why you don’t seem to care. He doesn’t care. No, he doesn’t. 

Oikawa practically breathes a sigh of relief when Iwaizumi joins you two. He knows that if you were alone for even a moment longer, you would’ve picked up on his odd mood and asked him what was wrong. He wouldn’t have an answer to that. Not that there was anything wrong. There wasn’t.

Once Iwaizumi joins you two, Oikawa doesn’t have much time to be within his own thoughts because he and Iwaizumi quickly engage in a friendly teasing argument about the day before. You simply walk between them, piping up at times to tease Oikawa for some reason or another. It feels entirely too normal, and Oikawa isn’t quite sure how to feel about that.

“My legs are killing me,” you say after walking for about two miles, mostly due to the fact that Oikawa and Iwaizumi were having another back-and-forth that was slowly getting out of hand. “Did Matsukawa and Hanamaki really have to choose a place so far away? Actually, scratch that. Did you two really have to make us walk?”

“Suck it up, my darling Y/N-chan, we’ve only got a few more blocks to go,” Oikawa says. He notices a soft redness on your cheeks. 

“You’re one to talk,” you mumble. “You were complaining just ten minutes ago,” 

“I’m allowed to be whiny.”

“No, you aren’t.”

“But Y/N-channn.” He makes sure to really draw out the latter half chan, his grin widening when he sees a slight pout form at your lips. 

“Don’t Y/N-chan me when you’re being a baby.”

“You can’t call me a baby! I’m practically a tree next to you!”

You cross your arms, and look defiantly up at him. “I’ll call you a baby if I want to.”

“I’m gonna throw you over my shoulder if you don’t take that back.”

“God you two are insufferable,” Iwaizumi mumbles from besides you two, but the small smile on his face betrays his attempt at strictness. You playfully roll your eyes at him and Oikawa is unfazed, much too used to Iwaizumi’s gruff exterior by now. “I’ll just carry her if it makes you two shut the hell up.”

At the same time that you shout “Really?”, Oikawa shouts “No!”

Both you and Iwaizumi turn to stare at Oikawa, who seems to lose his composure just ever so slightly. 

“Shittykawa, for the last time. I’m not going to carry you.”

“That’s not what I meant, Iwa-chan.”

“Then what is it?”

“I’ll carry Y/N-chan.”

Iwaizumi’s gaze focuses just a beat too long on Oikawa, and it’s all Oikawa needs to see to know that Iwaizumi will probably be watching him a little extra tonight. He always does that when he feels like there’s something off. 

Whatever he must’ve seen on Oikawa’s face was either satisfactory or something that puzzled him because he repents instead of interrogating him. “Fine. Carry her if it’ll heal your ego or whatever. Just don’t do shit to your knee or I’ll actually murder you.”

“Guys, it’s fine. I was only joking.” You pipe up, clearly confused at the interaction between Oikawa and Iwaizumi just now. Oikawa can feel something else in your gaze too, but he’s afraid he won’t be able to look away if he attempts to analyze what it means. 

Something in Oikawa deflates a little at your words though. You seemed all but ready to let yourself be carried by Iwaizumi, but the moment he suggested doing the exact same thing, you shied away. “Well the offer still stands,” he says, despite the minor sting of rejection. “Besides it’ll make up for the practice I was forced to miss yesterday.” 

“Really, it’s fine. I don’t want you to hurt your knee,” you reply. This time, he can practically hear the odd something in your voice. The fact that he can’t pinpoint what it is irritates him to no end. 

The rest of the walk to the karaoke place goes relatively quiet. Quiet in the sense that Iwaizumi and Oikawa don’t squabble, but rather all three of you have small minor conversations about anything and everything. 

Oikawa’s mood turns mildly sour when you tell him and Iwaizumi that by some unfortunate luck, you’d crossed paths with your ex-boyfriend while on a walk that morning. He wishes that he would’ve just sucked up his thoughts and just spent the day at your house so that maybe by some weird string of fate, you wouldn’t have seen the tall, brown-haired baseball captain while on a walk. Oikawa didn’t realize he was scowling until you poked a finger at his cheek and told him that he “had to stop thinking about Kageyama and Ushijima because they would only cause premature wrinkles and ruin his pretty face.” He doesn’t tell you that his two most bitter rivals were far, far away from the forefront of his mind at the moment. 

“Took you three long enough,” Hanamaki practically yells when he spots you three from across the street. 

You beam and yell, “Don’t yell, Maki. It’s unbecoming!”

“And you call me a hypocrite, Y/N-chan?” Oikawa nudges your side, smiling down at you. 

The feeling he gets when you stick your tongue out at him and dash across the street is familiar, which he’s thankful for. It’s the sort of feeling that makes him smile softly at your retreating figure, a feeling that he’s felt toward you for as long as he can remember. He’s happy for the familiarity of it because it gives him a sense of normalcy that perhaps the thoughts he’s been feeling are familiar thoughts that were probably just jumbled up because of his fatigue. 

That’s what he keeps telling himself anyway. 

Oikawa’s about to run after you when Iwaizumi asks a question from beside him. “Did something happen between you two?”

Oikawa turns to look at his best friend then back to where you’re standing with Hanamaki and Matsukawa. We kissed, he thinks. But Oikawa knows that telling Iwaizumi that might be more trouble than he’s looking for right now because he’ll surely start asking questions that Oikawa can’t even begin to find an answer for. 

“No,” he tries to say in his most convincing voice. “Why?”

Iwaizumi shakes his head. “Y/N just seems sadder today.” His words almost make Oikawa stop midway on the street. He knows that Iwaizumi notices, but instead of calling him out on it, Iwaizumi says, “Probably just because she saw Kaoru-san this morning.”

That’s when Oikawa realizes that the odd tone he heard in your voice earlier was sadness. He isn’t sure why exactly that was and why it was directed towards him. He can’t remember you saying anything out of the ordinary. All your texts to him that morning were of nothing new, and nothing seemed wrong the day before (except for the way that you were equally as quiet as he was during the walk home after your kiss). Surely, it wasn’t because of the stupid baseball player that barely lit a flame next to you.

He doesn’t know what he hates more - the possibility that it was him himself that was the cause of your sadness, or the possibility that you were sad after seeing your ex-boyfriend, which could possibly mean that you might still harbor feelings for him (which, Oikawa decides is something he never wants to think about again because he’s always disliked Kaoru, so he really can’t see why you’d still have feelings for him). Surely, you weren’t still hung up on a boy that you had broken up with? 

That’s what break-ups are for. They’re for when you no longer have love for the other person, or with Oikawa’s history of dating, when you find that the other person’s demanding schedule is something that becomes a wedge. 

It’s odd, but for the first time in their long friendship, Oikawa wants to punch Iwaizumi for making him think so indepthly about it. Instead, he walks quicker. He makes sure that his signature chipper smile is on his lips when he greets Hanamaki and Matsukawa. 

“What do you two have lined up for us today then?”

“We’re hoping that you’ll embarrass yourself with some karaoke, and then we figured we’d look through some of the shops around here. That may or not be because my mother’s birthday is in two days and I have yet to get a present.”

You shake your head at the taller male. “Makki!”

“Don’t Makki me! It’s Mattsun’s fault anyway. Don’t ask me why. It’s just always Mattsun’s fault.”

Matsukawa looks anything but pleased. “One more word out of you and I’m leaving your ass here and you’ll have to ride home by yourself.”

The only response Hanamaki has is a scowl in Matsukawa’s direction. 

By the time you five are seated in a booth, Oikawa feels the most normal he’s felt all day. Hanamaki managed to offend an older lady walking down the street by saying something loudly obnoxious, Iwaizumi yelled at Hanamaki for being so stupid, Matsukawa almost choked on a mint he had taken fron the front desk, and you had accidentally almost broken a vase because you pushed Oikawa a little too roughly. Oikawa would say that all that was pretty normal. 

It’s also normal for Hanamaki to suggest that you and Oikawa sing a duet because despite it all, you two have incredible voices. He used to try and convince Iwaizumi too, but when almost all his pleas were met with rejections, he’d eventually stopped asking. 

But Oikawa doesn’t feel any sort of normalcy when he smiles to himself as you shake your head and begrudgingly accept. He doesn’t feel any sense of normalcy as you take his hand and tug him upwards to the karaoke machine. Instead of the normal carefree environment he usually feels, he’s feeling something brew inside of him because everything he’d just described as feeling abnormal, used to be perfectly normal. 

It irritates him to no end because his feelings don’t feel any different, but at the same time his feelings feel so incredibly foreign that he wishes he could just pause time and just sit down to figure out whatever the hell is going on. 

But he doesn’t have the ability to pause time, and he doesn’t have any time to figure out anything before you start to sing and he feels his breath catch the way it always does. 

He’s always told you that your voice was angelic. He’s been saying it ever since he came over to play at your house when he was 10 years old and he overheard you singing as you doodled on a piece of paper. He’s told you all of this before - how beautiful your voice is, how you’re wasting your talent by not letting others see it. He even remembers begging you to sing him to sleep when he would sleep over at your house after particularly crushing losses. 

What he doesn’t understand is why he’s so very aware of the fact that your voice sounds like it descends from above. Before, the feeling was there like a natural instinct to hearing your singing voice. But now, he’s so very aware. 

It’s because of this thought process that he almost misses his cue to enter. Luckily, he feels a foot kick at his ankle just before he embarasses himself. Oikawa has a gut feeling that it was Iwaizumi who did so. 

Once he starts singing the lyrics, Oikawa has the thought to just murder Hanamaki on the spot because of all the duets he could’ve chosen, he had to choose a love song. 

He keeps his eyes glued to the words flashing on the screen despite having memorized every lyric of this song after singing it multiple times while taking a shower. He tries to ignore your voice and instead focus on the teasing remarks slipping from his teammates’ lips. For a second, he’s successful in doing so. 

But luck doesn’t seem to be on his side tonight. Eventually, you hit a very impressive high note and Oikawa thinks he might just lose his mind because he hears you laugh afterwards and say a breathy “sorry,” that’s so mesmerizing that he turns his head. You’re already smiling up at him in that way that you always smile at him and he can’t help but feel his own lips tug widely upwards. He thinks he imagines how your own smile widens after that. 

After you two finish your duet and Hanamaki is up and belting out all the wrong notes, you nudge Oikawa. “A little off considering how good I can hear you singing it in the shower.”

“Keep your voice down, Y/N-chan. One word out of you and I won’t speak to you for a week,” Oikawa says with the familiar grin on his face. 

“You wouldn’t dare,” you dramatically gasp, which momentarily catches Iwaizumi’s attention. He turns away once he realizes that you were looking at Oikawa and nothing of importance. 

“Oh, but I would.”

“You wouldn’t last a day.”

“Yes I would.”

“You used to cry whenever Iwaizumi or I went on vacation. You’d come whining to me before the day is even over.”

He’s about to retort a reply, but Hanamaki’s return to the table catches both of your attention. “Man, my voice sounds like sandpaper.”

“More like a dying baby bird but I’ll let you think what you want,” Matsukawa snorts from his seat. 

“Mattsun, what did the baby bird ever do to you?”

After a few more rounds of karaoke (in which Matsukawa and Hanamaki serenaded the other and Iwaizumi agreed to sing for the first time in months) you all find yourself at the head of a row of shops that go down a few miles. 

“Do you think my mom would like a necklace? Maybe I’ll buy her a book.”

“Hanamaki, you are aware that we aren’t acquainted with your mother right?”

“Matsukawa is! Mattsun, help me out here.”

“Makki, she’s your mom man.”

After a few more rounds of bickering, Hanamaki and Matsukawa finally decide to just head into the bookstore. You, Iwaizumi, and Oikawa decide to visit the small trinkets store with the twinkling light up sign. 

Oikawa gets the urge to rip his hair out once he sees who the person behind the cashier is. 

“Kaoru! I didn’t know you worked here,” you say entirely too nicely. Oikawa hates how perfect you look at the moment because he’s almost certain that your ex-boyfriend notices it too.

“Ease up, Shittykawa,” Iwaizumi says from beside him. 

“I am at ease,” he says, but he can’t even convince himself. 

Iwaizumi snorts and shakes his head. “Sure you are. Unclench your jaw and stop looking at him like you want to stuff him in a bag first, then I’ll believe you.”

Oikawa turns his head to look back to where you’re leaning against the counter. He doesn't miss the way that Kaoru purposefully left his hand idly on the counter so that his fingers come just short of touching your arm. Oikawa feels his annoyance spike when he hears the man in question laugh at something you say. 

After glaring what felt like forever, Oikawa turns back to Iwaizumi, letting out an annoyed huff. “I just don’t understand why he of all people had to be the one working here.”

“The world doesn’t cater to whether or not the person working at a store is going to make you jealous,” Iwaizumi says as he shuffles through a rack of plain-looking hoodies. 

“I’m not jealous!”

Iwaizumi turns to Oikawa and deadpans at him, raising a brow as a challenge. 

Oikawa looks away from his gaze and crosses his arms. “I’m not,” he grumbles. “I just don’t particularly like his face or his voice or his stupid personality or really anything about him because really what’s there to like? It’s nothing new.”

Oikawa expects a retort or an insult, but to his surprise, Iwaizumi lets out a laugh. 

“What’s so funny?”

Iwaizumi continues to shake his head as he moves to walk down another aisle. Oikawa follows aimlessly behind him. “You’re so, so stupid. I cannot believe you’re one of the best volleyball players I know. There’s no way you’re the same person I play with on the court.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I think I’ll let you figure that out for yourself.”

Before Oikawa can question him any further, he hears your voice from somewhere across the shop. You pop your head out from behind a shelf and say, “Hey ‘Kawa! Come here for a second.”

Oikawa looks to Iwaizumi. 

“Go ahead. I’m gonna look through their collection of posters and see if I can find one for the monster movie I watched yesterday.”

When Oikawa gets to the shelf that you’re staring intently at, he’s mildly surprised. You’re crouched down and scrutinizing a row of alien plushies. More specifically, they’re the very same alien plushies that he had hoped to ask you about when he first picked you up from your house.

You grin up at him excitedly and Oikawa wishes he could take a picture. “Look what I found!” Oikawa walks closer and crouches down besides you. You turn to look at him again. “I noticed that you were staring at my earrings a lot tonight, and I know that you absolutely cherish your little alien collection, so I asked Kaoru if they had them as plushies and they did!”

Oikawa feels a warmness bloom in his chest at your excitement. He doesn’t tell you that he wasn’t staring at your earrings. He doesn’t tell you that he was always staring at you.

“You did that for me?”

“Of course I did. We always do things like this, don’t get all sappy now.”

He has the sudden thought to just pull you upwards and crash his lips into yours. He knows that he can’t necessarily do so, so he just stares at you instead and contemplates to himself if it really would be so bad if he just kissed you again right then and there. 

“Is everything okay? Do you not like it? We don’t have to get it if you don’t like it.” The smile falls off your lips, and he can hear that familiar sadness in your voice once again. It sends a spark of pain through him. 

“No!” He yells a little too loudly. “No, of course I love it. Thank you.” He reaches out and clasps his hand over your smaller one. 

You roll your eyes at him, but don’t make any move to push his hand away. “You’re blushing! Don’t blush! You might make me think that you’re in love with me, and we can’t have that can we?”

Oikawa tries to shake his head. He doesn’t point out that there’s a little dusting of red on your own cheeks. 

He only speaks again after you pick an alien off of the shelf and stand up. He stands with you. “I only very mildly like you more than like. None of that in love stuff, don’t worry.”

You elbow him and shoot him a glance. “Don’t steal my lines, Oikawa.” 

You smile as you say it. A simple smile. A smile that has practically been ingrained into his head after so many years of seeing that same smile thrown in his direction. But what scares him is the way that it sends a pleasant feeling to his stomach. 

It’s then that Oikawa realizes that there is indeed something that’s wrong - that there’s something very, very wrong. Something is very wrong because everything he’s feeling at the moment makes him think that maybe, just maybe, he’s the biggest liar in the world for claiming that he wasn’t in love with you.

i know that some people won’t be able to relate to the “angelic singing” part (i most definitely don’t have an angelic singing voice either lol don’t worry) but lets all just pretend that we can all sing ok thanku