#i still have more people i can try of course
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 22 hours ago
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Maybe we never had a chance.
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#a-yuan#Ultimately...despite how hard we try to reach people - sometimes it just is not possible.#Sometimes all you can do is wish that things could have been different. You pen a note with all the things you want to say -#and then you let it go. The words stay unsent and unspoken. You just watch the rift between you grow until you're too far away to try again#It is a sad end! It is two people who want to be closer but do not have the right capacity to do anything but shut doors.#Worse yet; it's two people who feel it is not their place to try and impose anything more.#It takes so long to heal from endings like that. You never get enough closure when there is still a faint hope of 'another day'.#It's a false amicability. It's closing a door and telling yourself that at least the windows are unlocked.#WWX will keep up his friendliness as a way to hold LWJ at a distance. LWJ can only try to help so many times.#Speaking of tragedies of trying to help; Let's talk about the addiction metaphors in this episode.#WWX tells LWJ in fairly straightforward terms that he does not *want* do be doing ghost cultivation.#What he wants is to protect people - by any means necessary. If he had another option he would take it.#The path WWX 'chose' is one that is deeply mired in external shame and taboo. He jokes about it but it clearly doesn't feel great.#And I put 'chose' in quotes because just like many who find them selves in bad situations - the choice is an illusion.#He's adamant that this is 'his' choice. That he is in control.#Better to be villainized that endure the terrifying reality that you lack any ability to have choice anymore.#If he had the choice - truly had the choice - he would not be doing this.#You can't help those who don't want to be helped. So of course all LWJ can do is watch from the side. Offer a hand when he can.#This life was a tragedy and the countdown to it all blowing up started a long time ago...
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catcrumb · 3 days ago
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after 5 years of running this blog, i've made the decision to open up a patreon!
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my life circumstances are changing, and patreon will greatly help me make ends meet and pay rent. nothing about this blog will be changing - i'll still be posting a cat doodle every day, same as i always have.
i have a $3/month tier and a $6/month tier - both work as tip jars, with the latter being if you feel especially generous and can afford it.
right now i have transparent and/or higher-resolution PNGs of certain catcrumbs that i've used for redbubble up for members, if anyone wants to make emojis or such. i'll also be taking requests for drawings to be transparentized and/or put on redbubble. in the future i may start offering additional rewards - bonus art, requests, maybe physical stuff - but my life needs to settle down a bit before i do anything like that.
your money is of course yours to do with as you see fit (and there are many many good causes out there that i urge you to donate to), but i hope that if my little drawings have given you joy over the years and you have the room in your budget, you'll consider supporting me!
i also have a kofi and redbubble if you'd rather support me that way!
no matter what - i genuinely appreciate all the kindness i have been given. i try very hard to keep catcrumb a self-driven art exercise - just one cat a day, doesnt have to be perfect or even good, just has to be a cat - but i couldn't have kept up the hobby without so many people's joy. it's been a genuinely incredible experience for my silly little scribbles to have positively touched people's lives - in-jokes between friends and partners, a gentle reminder, tattoos and baby clothes, something to look forward to... it's really been a flood of human kindness.
thank you all so much for all the joy - here's to more! :~D
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vettelsvee · 21 hours ago
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Hi love! For your tortured poets department, can I request endgame from the reputation album, lando being the driver please please 🙏
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END GAME | Lando Norris
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Lando Norris x Friend with benefits Piastri!Reader
SUMMARY: You were used to have random hookups just for fun, including with Lando Norris himself. It's not until he decides to lock both of you up on his driver room and talk about your weird relationship that you don't realize that, deep down, you're willing to settle down your mind and start a dating him ↳ REQUESTED: Yes! Thanks for requesting and hope you like it ��� Part of REPUTATION in MY TORTURED DRIVERS DEPARTMENT
WORD COUNT: 2745
WARNINGS: Slightly +18 at the end (sorry for leaving it there ☺️), mentions of friends with benefits, spelling with multiple people, angst, curse words
VEE'S NOTES: Haven't written Lando in a very, very long time, so hope you like this one! University and my mental health are killing me but you know what? Writing is what keeps me going (and specially your comments have been a boost of serotonin for me lately). Also... the 2k special is already living rent free in my mind and I can't wait to achieve the goal to post it 😭 I wanna give spoilers now so... you know 🤓 ↳ TALK TO ME / REQUESTS! | FORMULA 1 MASTERLIST
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© VETTELSVEE (2025). please, do not steal, copy or translate my works. thanks for reading!
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"You finally decided to show up at a race. I was starting to think you only liked having me naked in your bed behind your brother’s back."
You smiled at the screen, playing with your fingers as you thought how could you answer Lando. Your relationship was based purely on sex, moreover sexting, with barely any real conversations whenever you met, moans and orgasms speaking for you both instead.
You had never felt the need to go beyond that, to involve feelings in your relationship, or at least that’s what you had made clear to Lando before sleeping with him the very first time. You also let him know that, besides him, there were other guys with whom you had no commitments whatsoever.
However, it was with Lando that you spent most of your time. The others were nothing more than a safe escape, an easy way out when the Brit wasn’t around.
"Be grateful that I even came," you finally replied. "And don’t flatter yourself. I came to see my brother, not to make you come before a race."
You hesitated, wondering if your reply was harsh enough to keep him from getting any ideas and, more importantly, to stop him from insisting on meeting up. You weren’t sure how, but you wanted to end that strange relationship before it spiraled out of control because, whether you wanted to admit it or not, you had started to feel something for him.
Yes, just a few weeks ago, you had one of your usual encounters with a friend of one of your best friends. But everything fell apart when, right before reaching your climax, you couldn’t help it: you moaned Lando’s name instead.
That was what made you question what exactly you felt for Norris and why the label of friends with benefits seemed to be fading away.
"Don’t play dumb, Piastri. See you at the motorhome. You know exactly where."
You huffed. Of course, you knew exactly where you’d be meeting. After all, ever since your brother became a Formula 1 driver, you had visited his teammate’s personal room more than Oscar’s.
With a sigh, making sure neither your mother nor your sisters were nearby, you got up, grabbed the plastic cup that still had a bit of coffee left, and walked with as much determination as you could muster toward McLaren’s motorhome, finishing your drink along the way.
As you walked, mentally preparing a script in case things got tense with Lando, you greeted the people you knew, or at least those who knew you as Y/N Piastri. Lewis was genuinely happy to see you and even stopped to chat, but you excused yourself, saying you had already made plans. Fernando gave you a knowing look, as if trying to figure out what exactly you were about to do with a certain driver.
Even your brother crossed paths with you at the entrance to McLaren’s motorhome. You managed to lie to him, partially, saying Lando had asked you to take a few pictures of him before the race.
Oscar gave you a strange look, then rolled his eyes, offered a small smile and told you to enjoy whatever it was you both were about to do.
You said nothing, but you knew your twin brother well enough to realize he already had a pretty good idea of what you were up to with Norris. Not that you tried too hard to hide it.
When you reached Lando’s room, you didn’t even have to knock. The door opened instantly, revealing a slightly tired-looking Lando with a cup in his hand. His race suit was already on but zipped only to his waist, leaving the top half hanging loose. His team cap was still on, though it didn’t last long since he took it off and tossed it aside within seconds.
He grinned from ear to ear, like he had been waiting for you with far too much anticipation.
"Come in. Make yourself at home," he said with that mischievous tone you were so used to hearing, though something about it felt slightly different this time.
You walked inside without hesitation, crossing your arms and ignoring him, except for the occasional sideways glance to see if he would do or say something before you did. Unfortunately, he didn’t.
"If you wanted a quick fuck before the race you could’ve just said so, you know?"
"I don’t think today’s the best day to fuck you and let everyone hear," he replied. "At least, not yet. Today, we’re going to talk."
"We don’t talk, Lando," you shot back, feeling an internal alarm go off. "And when we do, it’s just to ask about the safe word of the day, what we want to do to each other, and how close we are to coming."
"Well, maybe it’s time we started talking, don’t you think so?"
His answer took you completely by surprise. Your gazes remained locked on each other, and you felt the atmosphere grow tense.
For the first time in a long while, there was no excuse you could use to avoid that conversation with Lando. Maybe the fact that you had been ignoring him for the past few weeks was enough to make him realize that there was a chance—however small—that things had changed between you two.
You took a deep breath, trying to calm the growing sense of unease settling in your chest. Lando kept looking at you with that same intensity he always did, except this time… it was different. It wasn’t the first time you found yourselves in a situation like this, where there were a thousand unsaid things hanging between you, waiting to be voiced. But it was the first time, at least on your part, where feelings were involved beyond pure physical desire.
"I don’t think there’s anything to talk about," you said as nonchalantly as possible, but your tense posture betrayed you.
Lando set his cup down on the table beside him. Then, he sat on the edge, crossing his arms again, and reached for your hands only for you to pull away and take a step back.
"I think you know exactly what we need to talk about," he replied calmly. His voice was lower than usual, and you felt the heat grow between your legs. You shook your head, feeling guilty and doing your best to push away that sudden, but familiar, awakening in your body.
"You’ve been avoiding me, Y/N. And don’t tell me you haven’t, because you were in Monaco and never called me to meet up… to see each other," he added, his voice laced with something unreadable. "In fact, we usually sext almost every day, and you didn’t even bother to tell me what  new lingerie set you bought for when you came over."
"I didn’t tell you I was coming to Miami either."
Your reply, rather than making you sound indifferent, exposed you completely. Lando raised an eyebrow, as if he had caught you red-handed. That was when you realized you had seriously screwed up.
"I haven’t been avoiding you, Lando. I’ve just been busy," you insisted.
"Busy? You mean busy by ignoring me?" He scoffed, ironic. His expression turned much more serious now, and you started to worry about where this might lead. "Tell me the truth, Y/N. What’s going on? What’s happening with you?" he emphasized.
You averted your gaze, pretending to take interest in the room’s decoration, a room you already knew by heart. You knew you couldn’t keep dodging the topic, but you also had no idea how to confront it without changing everything you had so far. It was impossible to put into words what you felt for Lando, not when your relationship had always been purely physical. And especially not when there was a real chance you were just confused… and, well, you couldn’t forget the possibility that he might only see you as his hookup.
"Nothing’s wrong," you finally responded.
"I thought we were always honest with each other," Lando sighed, running a frustrated hand through his hair.
You felt your throat tighten. It was hard to breathe. You had been honest, at least when it came to the unrestricted desire between you, to touching each other without attachments, to seeking comfort in one another without questions that went beyond your wildest fantasies. You had avoided anything personal.
But now, you were slowly breaking the unspoken rules that had kept you in perfect balance until this moment.
"I’ve been busy, Lando, and the last thing I wanted was to deal with you, alright?" you insisted, trying to sound as convincing as possible. "Things should have stayed the way they were until, according to you, I started ignoring you."
"No, Y/N, things aren’t like that," the Brit denied, shaking his head. He stepped closer, cornering you against the wall. "If you don’t want to face something because you’re afraid of rejection, just tell me. But, for fuck’s sake, don’t act like I did something wrong, because you’re killing me."
"Lando…"
"Stop insisting that nothing is happening between us, when that’s exactly what makes me think the opposite."
His confession caught you completely off guard. His words—clear, direct, and without a hint of sarcasm, threw you off… especially because you knew he was right.
You felt the urge to run, to disappear, to pretend none of this had ever happened. Most of all, you wanted to deny yourself any romantic thought you had ever had about Oscar’s teammate.
When you lowered your gaze, Lando moved back slightly, giving you space and making sure he didn’t overwhelm you more than you already seemed to be. You sighed, trying to relax once again, but before you could say anything, he spoke first.
"Tell me nothing’s wrong between us, Y/N Piastri," he said softly. "If nothing has really changed, if everything is the same between us… dare to look at  me in the eyes and say it."
Your chest tightened. You couldn’t run away, not when Lando had you emotionally cornered, teetering on the edge of an explosion. Your breathing was unsteady, heavy. Your mind screamed at you to find an excuse, anything that would let you stay true to yourself regardless of what happened next.
Lando waited, unmoving, his blue eyes locked onto yours with an intensity that made you tremble for the first time in your life—without him even touching you. It was the first time he had shown himself to you like this: so vulnerable and yet so determined at the same time.
"Nothing is wrong between us, Lando Norris," you finally whispered, forcing the words out, ignoring both your heart and the boy standing in front of you.
"Say it again, but this time, look me in the eyes."
He didn’t move an inch. He knew you were lying; your posture gave you away—the way you avoided his gaze, the way your fingers toyed with the hem of your shirt and your accreditation pass…
You squeezed your eyes shut tightly. You had no choice… at least, not entirely.
Lifting your gaze, you met his blue eyes once again. Your lips parted slightly, ready to try and let out a lie convincing enough for both him and yourself.
But it was impossible. You couldn’t keep doing this, not when, deep down, and no matter how hard you tried to deny it, you felt something more than just pleasure for Lando Norris. The fear of rejection… it terrified you. The thought of him turning you away, of losing what you had with him, was unbearable.
"Lando…"
"You don’t have to say it if you’re not ready," he interrupted. "But please… stop pushing me away. Stop making this to us."
"It’s just…"
Nothing. No matter how much you tried to explain yourself, to find a logical enough reason for your sudden ghosting, you couldn’t.
"It’s just what, Y/N?" the Brit pressed. "Are you afraid to take a risk? To admit something because you’re scared of what might happen next? Because you don’t want to change the life you’ve had until now? Because you want to…?"
Lando forced himself to stop. He ran his hands through his hair, exasperated, turning his back to you. Guilt hit you immediately, your body trembling as the storm inside you began to break free. The driver rubbed his face, frustration radiating from him. This was exhausting him. You were exhausting him, to the point where he was starting to doubt his own feelings. Feelings that had started to grow the moment he realized it hurt when you ignored him, when you didn’t even send him a simple "Hey."
"I wish this were different, Y/N," he finally murmured, his voice thick with emotion as he turned to face you again. "I wish you didn’t make me feel like this. I wish I could just be content with what we had before and pretend none of this was happening…"
Your stomach twisted painfully. That was exactly what you had been thinking, the very reason you had pulled away from him and from whatever this was. You had ignored the fact that your feelings for Lando Norris had become something much stronger—maybe they had been there for far longer than you were willing to admit.
"Lando, listen" You tried to step closer, but he pulled away.
"No, Y/N, no," he said bitterly. "I tried convincing myself there was a reason you were ignoring me, acting like I was nothing to you, and then it hit me that I really want you as more than just someone to fuck."
"That…" you struggled to say, stepping toward him. This time, Lando didn’t stop you. The sincerity in your eyes, the way you looked both calm and nervous at the same time, made him realize he had to trust his instincts. And that was exactly what they were telling him.
"That’s what I wanted to tell you," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper, but Lando still heard you. "That’s why I kept you on standby for two weeks… I knew this would change everything, that you’d react badly, that we’d end up fighting, and I… I didn’t know how to face the possibility of you rejecting… this."
Lando stared at you in surprise before a sad smile crept onto his lips.
"Y/N… I’ve always been good at reading signals, but this has been driving me fucking crazy."
"And you think it’s not been making me feel the same?" you shot back, feeling a weight lift off your shoulders.
Lando stepped closer, taking your hands in his. You didn’t resist, feeling how the both of you tensed at the contact. His lips inched toward yours, and when they finally met, the kiss was so fierce, so full of passion, that you ended up straddling him on the couch, moving against him, desperate to feel him. Even though you both knew there was still a race in two hours.
"I don’t want to touch you like this, Y/N," Norris whispered against your ear as you left small bites along his neck. "Y/N, stop it babe…"
"I don’t wanna be just another ex-love to you, Lando…" you murmured between kisses, still searching for friction between your bodies.
"And I don’t wanna miss you like your other lovers do, babe…"
This time, Lando gripped your waist firmly, flipping you onto the couch beneath him. His eyes never left yours as he carefully lifted your shirt and started massaging your breasts over your bra.
"I wanna be your end game, Y/N," Lando breathed, unable to tear his gaze away from you.
Your breath came out in shallow pants, and you felt like you were teetering on the edge. Your hands gripped the unfastened gear around his waist, tugging lightly to keep him close.
"Then prove it."
"I have a race in two hours, love…" he murmured, his voice rough as he pressed his forehead to yours, his arousal growing.
"Then you better be quick," you teased, running your hands over his abs beneath the fireproof. "Especially if you don’t want Osc to hear us…"
"You’re gonna be the death of me one day, Y/N Piastri," Lando groaned as he trailed his fingers up your thighs, lowering himself before you. "Now, open your legs for me... You deserve a punishment after being such a bad, bad girl these past few days…"
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connorsui · 2 days ago
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UNLIMITED ACCESS!
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This was wonderfully requested by my beloved @madam8 who gave me such a beautiful idea for a sylus date and I couldn't let go of it until I completed it 😭😭🩷🩷 like it's so cute that even when I was studying I kept thinking of new ways to end the fic or new scenes to add into it. --- it was ...AAUGH- my heart ...tho I do apologize for how long this one took out ur girl was busy trying not to fail classes 💀💀 ...lol 💅🏻
p.s if you see my corpse surrounded by flowers anywhere you can blame it on this ask ✨️ I LOVE IT
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It started, as most things with Sylus did, with...
extravagance.
He had a habit of planning nights that felt more like events—private rooftops overlooking the shimmering city skyline, candlelit dinners in places that required reservations months in advance, evenings where the very sky seemed to bend to his will.
Luxurious. Impeccable. Always grand.
And while you loved those moments—loved him—there was something else you had been craving lately.
Something... simpler.
So one evening, as he idly twirled a glass of dark liquor between his fingers and casually mentioned taking you to a private villa on an island, you leaned into his space, resting your chin on your palm, and asked—
"Why don’t we do something more…plain? Just for the day—I mean."
Sylus stilled slightly, red eyes flickering toward you, waiting.
"Don’t get me wrong, I love our dates," you continued, "but I think it’d be nice to just do something fun. Silly, even. Maybe a little childish?"
A playful smile curled at your lips.
"Just… something where you don’t have to rent out an entire skyline to impress me."
He raised a brow, surprised. "You wish for something plain?"
You grinned. "Exactly. So let’s just have a normal date. Like—oh! What about an amusement park? Or an arcade? Or the fair!"
Sylus exhaled through his nose, setting his glass down with a measured movement. "Your ideas are enjoyable… I wouldn't mind indulging in them."
"Yeah! It’ll be fun, I promise. We can see what rides you like, if you’ll actually tolerate roller coasters, or if you’re one of those people who insists they’re too predictable." You smirked. "Oh, and you have to try winning me something from one of those carnival games."
He regarded you with that ever-neutral gaze, quiet and considering, before finally murmuring—
"For you, I wouldn’t mind fulfilling that request."
You smiled, pressing a playful kiss to his cheek, already excited for whatever simple, carefree date he would plan.
Or so you thought.
Because somehow—somehow—things escalated.
Instead of just buying tickets like a normal person, Sylus had decided the best course of action was to…
Buy. The. Entire. Damn. Park.
Your favorite amusement park, to be exact.
And now here you stood at the entrance, staring up at the massive sign that should have been buzzing with families, groups of friends, and screaming children running past in excitement.
Instead, it was silent.
The ticket booths? Closed. The parking lot? Void of life.
The only people here were you, Sylus, and the staff, who stood patiently, waiting only for the two of you.
You turned to him slowly, your brain still buffering.
"Sylus… I—when I said I wanted a fun day with you… this isn’t exactly what I had in mind."
Sylus, as usual, looked completely unbothered. "Did I get the wrong park?"
You blinked. "…No, but—Sylus, what—" You gestured at the empty surroundings, struggling to form a coherent thought. "You didn’t have to—How did you even do this?"
He tilted his head, as if you had asked a genuinely confusing question. "I bought it."
You took a deep breath. "No, I know that, but why?"
Sylus blinked at you, expression calm yet calculating, like he was trying to gauge whether you were actually upset.
"Would you prefer a different one? I can acquire another if this one isn’t to your liking."
You choked. "Acquire—Sylus, I meant let’s just have a normal day at the park! With other people! Like… buying tickets, not—not monopolizing an entire amusement park for us!"
He hummed thoughtfully. "That would be inconvenient. I don’t like crowds."
Your brain short-circuited. "Okay, fair, but I’m not even sure how to react to this." You ran a hand down your face, staring at the vast, empty park. "Do I just… accept this? Should I ask you to sell it back? Is it even going to open to normal people when we're not here?"
Sylus exhaled softly, fingers curling beneath your chin, tilting your face up to meet his gaze. His red eyes, sharp yet steady, held an intensity that made your breath hitch.
"I wanted you to have the best experience," he murmured, his voice low, deliberate—like he was peeling back the layers of his thoughts just for you. "No interruptions. No strangers ruining our time. No one else pulling your attention away."
His thumb ghosted along your jaw, his touch as careful as it was possessive.
"I wanted today to be ours. Every moment, every ride, every second—only for us."
Your heart squeezed at the weight of his words.
Sylus was always confident, always in control—but this was different. This wasn’t about power or extravagance.
This was about ...you.
He had done this for you.
Damn him.
Damn him and his ability to turn something so ridiculous into something that made your heart melt.
You sighed, pressing your fingers against your temples before looking up at him again. "You really don’t do things halfway, huh?"
His lips twitched, almost smirking. "Would you expect anything less?"
You huffed, shaking your head. "Not at all."
His hand slipped from your chin to your wrist, fingers curling around it as he tugged you toward the entrance.
"Then let’s stop worrying about it and enjoy it as much as we can."
You let him pull you forward, your brain still catching up to the fact that this was happening. That you were about to experience an amusement park that was literally all yours for the day.
And honestly?
You weren’t going to complain.
But as you walked in, something felt... strange.
The park was…alive?
Despite the complete absence of other guests, the workers were still here—acting as if today was a completely normal day.
Vendors stood at their booths, flipping burgers, making cotton candy, lining up pretzels under warming lamps. The game stalls were manned, workers casually leaning against counters, ready to hand out prizes.
The park’s parade performers were still marching down the street. A princess in a poofy dress waved at you. Mascot characters moved in synchronized greetings, despite the fact that no one was here but you.
It was… surreal.
Sylus squeezed your hand as you slowed to take it all in. "I told them to proceed as usual. It would’ve been eerie if everything was frozen."
You turned to him. "So… it’s like the park is still running, but we’re the only ones who get to experience it?"
He nodded. "Yes. Don’t you think it’s better this way?"
You inhaled deeply, looking around again.
Sylus watched you carefully, his sharp eyes scanning your face. "Are you alright?"
You hesitated, then let out a quiet laugh.
“Of course! I mean—” You hesitated again, glancing around as your expression softened. “It’s nothing wrong, I promise! I love that you did this, I do, but…” You exhaled, running a hand through your hair before looking up at him again.
“I just—I wanted this day to be special not just for us entirely, but to have a moment together surrounded by everyone and everything.” Your voice was gentle, thoughtful. “The chatter, the energy, the crowds moving past us. The chaos of it all.”
You shrugged, a little sheepish. “I know you don’t like being around too many people, and I love that you wanted to make this day perfect for me, but part of what makes an amusement park so special is the shared experience, y’know? That feeling of being one in a sea of people, laughing together, screaming on rides, getting bumped into by kids running past, standing too close in lines because there's no choice…”
Your words trailed off as you searched his gaze, unsure how he’d react.
For a moment, Sylus didn’t say anything. His red eyes remained locked onto yours, unreadable, but there was something contemplative in the way his fingers idly traced over your knuckles, as if considering your words carefully.
Then, finally, he exhaled through his nose—slow and measured, his grip loosening ever so slightly.
“…I see...I- ” His voice was as calm as ever, but there was a shift in his tone.
He glanced around, taking in the completely empty pathways, the stalls with no customers, the parade performing for no one but you two. The sight of the workers, stationed and waiting, but missing the usual life of the park.
Sylus was pragmatic. He saw a problem, he solved it. Simple. To him, the best way to ensure you had an amazing day was to remove all obstacles—the crowds, the noise, the inconvenience of waiting in lines or dealing with other people.
But now, as he watched you, something seemed to click.
“…Would you like me to open the park?”
Your eyes widened. “Wait—you mean, like, right now?”
He nodded once. “If it would make you happy.”
Your heart stuttered. "Sylus—I didn’t say all that just to guilt you into—”
He raised a brow. “It’s not about guilt. You wanted to share this moment with people and I took that possibility from you” He pulled out his phone as if he could undo an entire park shutdown with a single call—which, knowing him, he probably could.
You stared at him, then let out a disbelieving laugh, reaching to stop his hand before he could dial. “Okay, hold on, let’s think about this rationally—”
Sylus merely looked at you, waiting for what you were bound to say next.
You exhaled, lacing your fingers with his properly. “Look, it’s okay. I love what you did, and I will enjoy this day with you.” You squeezed his hand. “I just needed a moment to process it, that’s all.”
Sylus was silent for a moment, his red eyes scanning your face as if committing every little twitch of emotion to memory. Then, his gaze flickered past you, landing on a nearby booth.
A teddy bear stand.
Without a word, he turned, gently tugging you along by the hand.
You blinked in surprise. “Wait—where are we—?”
He stopped in front of the booth, staring at the rows of stuffed bears lined up in varying sizes, from tiny keychains to ones nearly as tall as you. His jaw was set, unreadable, but his grip around your hand was firm.
“Sylus?” You tilted your head at him, watching as he eyed the game—a classic ring toss setup.
“I failed to give you what you really wanted,” he murmured, almost to himself. “You should at least receive something in return.”
Your chest tightened at the way he said it.
Soft, but laced with frustration.
Like he was genuinely bothered that his attempt to make you happy had missed the mark.
“Sylus…” You squeezed his hand, stepping closer. “You don’t have to win me anything—”
He ignored that, already rolling up his sleeves with practiced ease. His focus was entirely on the game now, eyes narrowing slightly as he studied the distance, the weight of the rings stacked beside the booth’s attendant.
Your lips parted in disbelief.
Sylus said nothing, simply holding his hand out for the rings. The worker—completely unphased, as if watching an overpowered, absurdly rich man win rigged carnival games was just another part of the job—wordlessly handed them over.
You sighed, a smile tugging at your lips despite yourself. "Sylus, you really don’t have to—”
The first ring landed perfectly on the bottle.
Your mouth snapped shut.
Another.
And another.
Without missing a single shot.
The worker gave a small, almost-impressed nod. “Pick your prize.”
Sylus turned to you, expectant.
You stared between him and the game, caught between laughter and disbelief. “This your way of an apology gift?
“And would that change anything if I said yes?”
“Sylus –”
You huffed, shaking your head before pointing to one of the bigger teddy bears—one with a white soft, plush face and an oversized red ribbon around its neck.
Sylus retrieved it without hesitation, turning to face you fully as he held it out.
“ you sure you didn't have me in mind? ” he said simply.
You giggled at him, your fingers curling around the soft fabric as you accepted the gift. “mayyybee”
It wasn’t about the bear. It wasn’t about the game.
It was him.
Sylus, who never half-assed anything. Who overthought in ways you weren’t always aware of. Who, despite his arrogance, still hated feeling like he had let you down.
Your heart squeezed painfully.
“…You’re too much at times” you murmured, hugging the teddy bear to your chest.
He exhaled, shaking his head. “Says the one getting emotional over a stuffed animal.”
You shot him a playful glare, but when he reached out, brushing his fingers against your wrist, you softened.
“....Still,Thank you, for everything-- I mean” you murmured.
Sylus didn’t say anything, but his grip lingered—just for a second—not thinking of letting you go.
But as you continued walking, you caught the way his fingers brushed against his phone once more, a brief flicker of thought crossing his expression.
You narrowed your eyes. “Sylus.”
“Hm?”
“You’re not secretly opening the park back up again ….behind my back…are you?”
His lips curled, amused. “...perhaps”
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dwobbitfromtheshire · 2 days ago
Text
Steve couldn't believe he was doing this, but it was for Robin, and it was his day off. He literally had nothing better to do. He shouldered Robin's backpack and walked into the front office of Hawkins High. He grinned. Janice was still working at the front desk. He leaned against the counter and flashed her his best smile.
"Hey, Janice, those glasses look great on you. . .really slimming," Steve said, and she giggled, blushing. "I was hoping you could do me a favor. . ."
Steve didn't feel too guilty about using her weird little crush on him to get into Robin's classes and take notes for her. Janice looked down on anyone who wasn't a jock or a cheerleader. Steve thought about his life for a moment. . .God, it was pathetic that if he was so bored that he actually wanted to go back to school for a day. He nodded to a few people in the hallways and went to Robin's first class. It wasn't so bad. . .it was refreshing to catch up on what he had missed the first time. He didn't actually do any work. He just copied some notes. The second class wasn't so bad either, although people he didn't like kept trying to talk to him. The third class was far better. . .it was his favorite subject. He was surprised when he got to Robin's desk, and Eddie Munson sat next to him.
"Hey, Buckley, kiss any frogs - you're not Buckley," Eddie said.
"No, but I can understand the confusion, we do look alike," Steve said.
"You look nothing - yeah, you're fucking with me," Eddie said, narrowing his eyes at him. "What is King Steve doing gracing us with our presence?"
"Robin's sick. It's my day off, and she wanted me to take notes for her. I'd rather be here than be at home," Steve said. "What were you about to ask Robin?"
"Well, I was going to ask her if she kissed any frogs that turned into princes - princes. . .that turned into princes," Eddie said rather quickly. "Uh, it was an inside joke."
Steve narrowed his eyes at him. Steve was slow, but he wasn't that slow. Eddie had stumbled and put too much emphasis on princes. He was going to say princesses.
"You know," Steve hissed, lowering his voice.
"Of course, I know. She wrote it on her fucking shoes, man," Eddie whispered. "Everyone else is too caught up in their own shit to notice, but I sat right next to her. You know, too?"
"She's my best friend in the world, my platonic soulmate," Steve said. "Of course, I know."
"Platonic soulmate, huh?" Eddie grinned. "I think I have one of those."
"Really?" He asked.
"Her name's Ronnie," Eddie said.
"You're fucking with me," Steve grinned.
"I am not," Eddie laughed quietly. "She's up in New York studying to become a lawyer. Ronnie. Robin. Ronnie. Robin. Yeah, it's funny. . .we've been friends since we were eight. I once tried to kiss her because I thought it was the logical next step in our relationship. Silly me."
"No way, I tried to hit on Robin," Steve said with a grin.
"Well, we're both idiots," Eddie cackled.
"I'm not going to disagree," Steve said.
Steve wanted to say more, but the teacher hushed them, and they had no choice but to begin taking notes. Eddie leaned over casually, his big brown eyes pleading with him.
"If I go to sleep, can I borrow those notes?" Eddie asked innocently.
"Does Robin lend you her notes?" Steve asked.
"Yeeess," Eddie said, laying his chin on his hands, blinking at him, and Steve gave him a look. "Okay. So, no, she doesn't."
"Then why would I?" Steve asked.
"Because she's not the boss of you," Eddie said.
Steve looked at him and thought about it for a moment. No, it was clearly a trap.
"No," Steve said firmly.
"You're mean," Eddie pouted.
Steve smirked as Eddie began scribbling furiously in his notebook, muttering and looking over at him every so often. When the teacher was done, she handed out work for them to do in class. Steve took that up along with Robin's homework. While everyone else worked, he pulled out a book. He wasn't very far into the book when he noticed that Eddie was struggling. He leaned over to whisper in his ear.
"Do you want some help?" He asked.
"You wouldn't help me before," Eddie said.
"I wouldn't help you skate by," Steve said, rolling his eyes. "But I can show you some tricks that helped me."
"By all means, my liege," Eddie said.
Steve scooted closer to him, and looking over Eddie's paper, he showed him easier ways to solve the problems. He could feel Eddie's eyes watching him, and he couldn't help but feel warm inside at the feeling of Eddie's gaze on him.
"Did you get all that?" Steve asked.
"Yeah, I did," Eddie said, smiling softly. "You're pretty smart."
"Don't sound so surprised. The whole dumb jock thing is just a stereotype," Steve said.
"It's a shitty stereotype," Eddie said in realization.
"Definitely," Steve said. "Just like it's a shitty stereotype that people who play D&D worship the devil."
Eddie and Steve locked eyes. Hazel eyes peering into brown. . .there was a deep understanding there. . .that they weren't so different after all.
"So. . .why don't you want to be at home?" Eddie asked.
"My parents are there, and they're not exactly proud of me for not getting into college or working at a menial job instead of working for my asshole homophobic father," Steve whispered. "Plus, they'd rather not be around their queer son, so I get out of their hair when I can."
"You're. . .gay?" Eddie asked in surprise. "But all those girls. . .?"
"I didn't sleep with that many," Steve rolled his eyes. "It's such an exaggeration. And I'm bisexual. . .more than one gender for Steve Harrington."
"And you're telling me this why. . .?" Eddie asked, not unkindly.
"Because you get it, man," Steve replied.
"Oh, you mean because of Robin?" Eddie asked.
"Not just Robin, I mean, aren't you - ," Steve said and stopped when Eddie just looked at him. "Okay, I'm asshole. I just assumed - ,"
"Everyone does it," Eddie said. "I don't know why."
"Could be because of the way you represent the freaks and the outcasts. Most people assume the majority of them are queer but you'd surprised how many there are among the conservatives," Steve grinned. "But it also might be because of the hanky hanging out of your ass pocket."
"My hanky?" Eddie asked in confusion.
Steve leaned over and whispered in his ear to tell him about the code amongst people like him and Robin. Steve pulled back and watched his dumbfounded face.
"You okay, there?" He asked.
"Well, that makes total sense. . .I think I was actually fucking hit on a couple of times when I went out," Eddie said. "Honestly, I wear it because most metalheads do, plus it's useful. I mean, I've had sex a couple of times, but I've never done stuff like that. I mean, sure, I have handcuffs on my wall so I wouldn't be opposed to being chained up and spanked - ,"
"Mr. Munson!" The teacher yelled.
"Ooh, did I say that a little too loudly?" Eddie asked, and Steve snickered.
After class, Steve started walking to the next one while Eddie got chewed out by the teacher. It wasn't long before he heard someone call his name, and before he could turn around, he felt someone run into his back. He turned around, grabbing Eddie by the arms to steady him.
"Did you get in trouble?" Steve asked.
"Nah, I reminded him that he really shouldn't hit on his students," Eddie grinned. "Anyway. . .you want to sit with us at lunch?"
"Sure, Dustin will be thrilled," Steve said and Eddie laughed.
"I'm flattered by the way," Eddie said with a grin.
"By what?" Steve asked.
"By the fact that you thought I was queer. . .huge compliment," Eddie said. "And you're also, clearly in love with me. . .very flattered about that."
"I am not!" Steve scoffed.
"Sure, you're not," Eddie cackled.
They parted ways, and after fourth period, Steve met up with Dustin and Mike.
"This is so cool!" Dustin exclaimed. "Can you come to school with us everyday?"
"No, man," Steve laughed. "I got work."
"I bet you'd want to go to school with your mother," Mike teased.
"I would love to go to school with my mom. She's awesome!" Dustin yelled.
Steve laughed and placed his hand on Dustin's head, shaking it affectionately.
"I've been invited by your dungeon master to join you guys for lunch," Steve said.
"You spoke to Eddie?!" Dustin gasped.
"Yeah, and he's actually kind of. . .cool," Steve said.
"I told you!" Dustin exclaimed. "Mike, did you hear that?! He thinks Eddie's cool."
"I'm literally standing on his other side," Mike said. "And of course, Steve thinks Eddie's cool. Steve’s not stupid."
"Thanks, Mike," Steve grinned.
Steve followed them into the cafeteria, where they got their lunch, and then headed towards the Hellfire table. He glanced around the room, and his eyes landed on Lucas. Steve raised his eyebrows at him questioningly, and he shook his head. He turned back to the table, feeling disappointed, but he understood. Eddie was sitting at the head of the table with an empty chair next to him. His eyes caught Steve’s and he waved eagerly before slapping the chair next to him.
"I think he wants you to sit next to him," Mike said.
"I think so, too," Steve grinned in amusement.
Eddie really was cute. How he ever thought he was scary was beyond him. Steve adjusted Robin's backpack and walked over to the chair meant for him. He sat down in it, smiling, and Eddie quickly introduced everyone.
"Steve Harrington's really joining us for lunch?" Jeff asked.
"I told you. . .he's cool," Eddie said.
"Didn't you graduate?" Gareth asked.
"I'm taking notes and collecting homework for my friend, Robin," Steve replied.
"Couldn't you have just asked for the teachers to send everything to the front of office?" Jeff asked.
"Sure, but then I wouldn't be hanging out with you guys," Steve said.
"Oh my god," Jeff said, looking into his eyes. "You actually mean that."
"Look, I'm sorry for the other douchebags on the team who made you feel like all jocks are out to - ," Steve started to say.
"Your parents are home, aren't they?" Dustin asked, slamming down his tray for dramatic effect.
"Yeah," Steve shrugged.
"Shit, man, sorry," Mike asked. "I know your parents are total assholes."
"Do they know?" Eddie asked, leaning close to Steve to 'whisper'.
"We know," Dustin and Mike said together.
Eddie snapped his head to look at them. Steve snorted. He really needs to work on his whispering. Mike and Dustin's head snapped to look at each other.
"You know?" Mike and Dustin asked.
"Of course, I know!" Dustin and Mike exclaimed again.
Oops, did he forget to tell them that they knew?
"Steve dated my sister for a year. Whenever his parents were home, Steve had dinner with us and occasionally slept in the basement," Mike said. "He's always welcome around our house."
"I am?" Steve asked.
"Duh," Mike rolled his eyes. "Can't you tell that we care about you?"
"Have you looked at your face when you talk to people?" Jeff asked. "You and Gareth both are a couple of grumpy looking bears."
Before Mike could open his mouth to say something, a basketball came flying out of nowhere and landed on Dustin's tray. Food flew everywhere, including on Dustin. Steve scowled, and he quickly located the source. Jason Carver was laughing with a bunch of his friends. He turned away from the Hellfire table. Big fucking mistake. Eddie moved to get up, but Steve pushed him back down. He grabbed the basketball and judged the distance. Yeah, he could do it. Steve threw his arm back and tossed the basketball. He was pleased when it made a loud thunking sound as it hit Jason in the head. He stumbled into his friends' arms as the cafeteria gasped. Jason whirled around and glared at Steve.
"You might want to keep an eye on your balls, Carver, you don't want to lose them," Steve said.
"Pathetic, Harrington," Jason said. "At least I'm not a disappointment to my family name."
"Yeah, finds someone who gives a shit, Carver, because I don't. At the end of the day, it doesn't fucking matter," Steve said. "You don't scare me. I've seen bigger pieces of shit than you. However, if you go after my kids again. . .I'm going to make you piss your fucking pants. All it takes is a few phone calls."
Steve stared Carver down, his eyes narrowed. At first, it didn't seem like he was going to call him on his bluff, but then Carver huffed and yanked his friends back down with him. Steve sat down to find the entire table, looking at him in shock.
"Holy shit," Gareth breathed with wide eyes.
"Uh. . .sorry, did I make that worse for you guys?" Steve asked.
"I mean, probably, but it was so fucking metal," Jeff said.
"It totally was," Dustin beamed and even Mike couldn't stop from grinning.
Steve looked over at Eddie to find him looking at him wide eyes, his mouth open in awe of him.
"Eddie? Are you okay?" Steve asked and waved a hand in front of his face.
"He gets like this sometimes," Jeff said, looking at Eddie in confusion. "Although, I didn't think he'd get like this over you. Give him a minute."
"Okay. . .here, Dustin, you can have my lunch," Steve said and began cleaning up the mess.
"Thanks, Steve, but I'll go get a new one," Dustin said. "Eat yours."
By the time Dustin came back with a new tray, Eddie snapped out of it. . .whatever it was.
"Fucking metal," Eddie breathed. "Are you an angel?"
"Definitely not," Steve said with a smirk.
A COUPLE OF WEEKS LATER. . .
"I still can't believe it. I was joking when I told you to sub in for me," Robin said.
They were currently at Family Video, even though it was closed. It was inventory day, and they were both stuck with the job.
"I was bored, Robin, and my parents were home!" Steve exclaimed.
"You went in my place and fell in love with a straight man," Robin said. "I don't know whether to laugh or cry for you."
"Oh, you should also know that I flirted with Vickie for you," Steve said.
"WHAT?!" Robin shrieked and almost dropped the tapes. "Steven Robin Harrington, I swear - ,"
"Relax, Robin Steven Buckley, I was fucking with you," Steve said. "A little sympathy for my plight wouldn't kill you, you know?"
"Asshole," Robin said, but she was smiling slightly. "Have you tried talking to him?"
"Yeah, but he keeps running away from me. He once zig zagged through the entire school parking lot, screaming," Steve sighed. "I think I freaked him out with my sexuality."
"If he's okay with me, then he should be okay with you," Robin said.
"Robin. . .you know that's not exactly true. You know there's people within our own community who don't accept people like me. You remember what happened when we visited that gay bar. That guy accused me of pretending to be gay and said there's no such thing as bisexuality," Steve said. "And his friend agreed, but he said that I was a confused gay man. He told me that it was okay to be myself while rejecting who I am! How the fuck does that work?"
"Yeah, that was fucked up. I didn't know who to punch first. . .okay, so, you have a point, but maybe he's freaking out about something else," Robin said and sighed. "And if he is being like that, then I'll dismember him slowly while he's still alive and then let him bleed out."
"You'd do that for me?" Steve asked.
"Of course, you're my dingus," Robin said, stroking his hair. "And I expect you to do the same."
"Of course," Steve scoffed and then paused. "You know, Dustin said he left town last weekend. I mean, he came back, but he wouldn't say where he went."
"Yeah, this is definitely something else," Robin said. "I'm going to go to the bathroom, and when I get back, I fully expect all these negative thoughts to be gone."
"How long have you known me?" Steve scoffed.
"Surprisingly less than a year," Robin said.
"It feels like we've known each other our whole lives," Steve said.
"I know," Robin said fondly and then disappeared into the back.
Steve knelt on the floor and tried to focus on the inventory, but his thoughts went back to Eddie. It took one day for Steve to screw that up. . .although he couldn't figure out how he screwed it up. His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a tapping on the door. Steve sighed and stood up.
"Can't you read the sign? We're closed - Eddie," Steve froze when he saw Eddie standing at the door, his hands in his pockets.
Eddie pulled one of his hands out of his pockets and waved awkwardly. Steve looked at him for a moment, studying him. Eddie's big brown eyes looked apologetic and guilty. Steve sighed and moved to the door before letting him in. Eddie slid past him, and he closed the door behind him, locking it back. Steve crossed his arms and looked at him expectantly.
"Hey," Eddie said awkwardly.
"Hey," Steve said. "Is that all you have to say or are you going to run away from me again?"
"No. . .no, definitely not. I've just been struggling with something, and I haven't been able to deal with it. I decided to go up and visit Ronnie. We talked about it for a long time," Eddie said pausing. "We've finally come to the conclusion that I've been struggling with the whole bisexuality thing."
"Well, I'm sorry that my sexuality bothers you," Steve said, angrily. "And if you can't tell, that was sarcasm. . .go fuck yourself."
"Fuck! No! That's - ," Eddie was interrupted by a loud scream.
Robin dove over the counter and tackled Eddie to the ground. Eddie shrieked.
"PREPARE TO DIE!" Robin yelled.
"No! No! I'm the same! I'm the same!" Eddie yelled as Robin slapped him, and then she took a box cutter out of her pocket. "I'M BISEXUAL, I'M BISEXUAL!"
Robin dropped the box cutter, but she remained on top of Eddie, frozen.
"Pardon?" She asked.
"That's what I was struggling with. . .my own sexuality. . .ever since Steve threw that ball at Jason Carver," Eddie said. "And I didn't know what I was feeling, so I didn't know how to talk to you so I did what I always fucking do when I get scared. . .I ran."
"Well, this was a rather awkward breakdown in communication," Robin said and got up, helping Eddie. "Thank God, I didn't want to have to kill you. I mean, we have the means to make a body disappear, but I did not want to go through it. Good luck, Steve."
Eddie watched as she disappeared into the back again and he looked back at Steve, his eyes comically wide.
"What the fuck did she mean by that? You can make a dead body disappear? Steve, what did she mean by that?" Eddie asked.
"Never mind about that," Steve laughed. "Tell me more about you realizing you're bisexual because of me."
"Okay, but we're going to come back to that other thing. . .right?" He asked.
"Eddie, focus," Steve said.
"Well, I mean, that's pretty much it," Eddie said. "I like you. . .a lot."
"I like you a lot, too," Steve replied.
"Now what?" Eddie asked.
"Well, this is usually the part where we - "
" - fuck?" He asked.
"I was going to say kiss," Steve laughed. "But I like that your mind leaped frogged to that, but I'm pretty sure that Robin would kill us."
"Damn straight!" They heard Robin yell, and then she laughed. "HA! Get it? Because none of us are. . .Goddamnit, I'm hanging out with Dustin too much."
"Right, so kiss?" Eddie asked.
Steve laughed, cupped the back of his neck, and pulled him in for a kiss. Eddie froze before melting into it, wrapping his arms tightly around his waist. He deepened the kiss as Steve wrapped his arms around his neck, enjoying the way his lips moved against his. . .so soft and plump. God, Steve wanted to kiss him forever. Eddie pulled away, leaning his forehead against his.
"I'm sorry, I should have worded that better," Eddie said. "And I shouldn't have run away from you. . .in one single day, you turned my life upside down. . .although, I guess I've been struggling with my feelings for a long time. According to Ronnie, you're not the first man I flirted with."
"I didn't always know about myself either, so it's okay, Eddie, I get it," Steve said. "You're here now."
Steve buried his head into his shoulder and hugged him tightly. Never would he have been so grateful that his platonic soulmate had gotten the flu or that his parents had been home. . .It's funny how life works out like that.
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cloverapple · 2 days ago
Text
How To Let Go
First things first; drop the idea that reading this will magically make you shift. If you’re here thinking “Oh, I’ll read this, I’ll let go, and then I’ll shift” stop! right! there! I know you want to shift, I know you want to get your desire, but you are missing the whole point of why you want to let go in the first place!
Second if all; there’s no one way to let go because there’s no one thing you’re letting go of. And that’s where most people trip up. You hear it everywhere:
”Just let go!”
“Release!”
“Detach!”
Like it’s some effortless switch you can flip on command regardless of how your unique mind works 😑
And then when you can’t, you start to feel like a failure, like you cannot accomplish this very basic thing that everyone seems to be doing so effortlessly.
Well my darling, listen to me: this is not your fault. You not being able to let go has nothing to do with how capable you are, how lucky you are, or how “primed” your mind is. None of that.
The mind fixates. That’s what it does. If shifting is a huge desire for you, you don’t just drop it overnight. If your DR is playing on a loop in your head, of course you’re going to latch onto it. If every time you go to bed, you secretly hope to wake up in your DR, your brain is still holding on. And yeah, it sucks. Because suddenly your dedication feels like a burden. You start asking “Why can’t I just let go? What’s wrong with me?”
Been there, felt that.
I’m going to tell you exactly why letting go is something anyone can do, and how you can start immediately—without the mental stress that usually comes with it.
But first, let’s clear something up: Letting go is not a quick fix for shifting. It’s not some miracle pill that guarantees success. For some people, yes, letting go is the missing piece. But for others, the real problem isn’t that they need to let go—it’s that they need trust and patience in themselves. And because they’ve been told that “letting go” is the thing to do, they beat themselves up for not being able to do it. When in reality, they were fine all along.
So first of all, figure out if letting go is what you actually need in your journey. If it's not, and you suddenly remember that you’ve found success while holding on, great! If not, let's move on.
So, what does “letting go” actually mean?
A lot of people hear it and think it means quitting, cutting shifting out of their lives, turning away from their DR, walking away completely. And yeah, that is one way to let go. But it’s not the only way. Let’s break it down the different ways there are to let go:
• Letting go of trying to shift – A.K.A what I talked about in this post. You still think of your DR, you still daydream, maybe you meditate at night with no intention to shift, you go about it like you already have it because you do. Stop it. Stop trying to shift.
• Letting go of expectation – You keep doing your methods, you stick to your routine, but you drop the pressure. No more “when will it happen?” You do it just because you enjoy it. You stop putting a deadline on shifting. You let go of when it will happen and just let it unfold.
• Letting go of your DR – You still shift, but you step back from your DR itself. Maybe you try a different DR for fun, maybe you explore WRs or fun, relaxing realities. You turn your focus elsewhere.
• Letting go of shifting itself – You stay in tune with expanding your awareness, but you do this by focusing on lucid dreaming, astral projection, or any other practice for a while. You take the pressure off shifting entirely by trying something new.
• The ‘fuck this shit’ mentality – You throw your hands up and stop giving a damn. Ironically, this one works better than you’d think.
• Letting go of perfection – You don’t need to do everything perfectly, follow every method flawlessly, or maintain some imagined “high vibrational state” 24/7. Stop striving for an ideal and just exist.
• Letting go of comparison – Stop looking at other people who claim to have shifted and measuring yourself against them. Their journey is not yours, and comparison only fuels frustration. Can you imagine driving your car, on the way to go pick up your brand new sport’s car, but you keep looking out the window because someone in the next lane is already driving a sport’s car?? YOU’RE GOING TO CRASH. EYES ON THE ROAD.
• Letting go of guilt – If you feel bad for not shifting yet, for wanting a break, or for feeling stuck, release that guilt. You don’t owe shifting anything. Shifting is you. You don’t owe yourself anything other than peace, trust and love.
• Letting go of attachment to results – Focus on the process rather than the outcome. Enjoy the journey, the experiences, and the growth that come with it. This is the thing I wish I knew at the very start of my journey, not because it would have made me shift faster, but because in hindsight, there’s so much fun in figuring out what works for you, discovering yourself, and the excitement pre-shifting to your DR.
• Letting go of fear – Fear of failure, fear of missing out, fear of doing something wrong, fear of shifting (which warrants another post in itself). Releasing fear allows for a more open, relaxed mindset.
• Letting go of overthinking and self-doubt – Stop analyzing every little thought, feeling, or experience. Your mind doesn’t need to be in constant problem-solving mode. You already know how to shift. You already have your desire/ your desire will manifest in the 3D. You are a creator. You are the god of your reality. If overthinking and stressing out solved anything, no one in the world would have problems.
• Letting go of rules – There are no strict guidelines for shifting. You don’t have to follow what someone else says. Make your own path.
But how do you actually let go?
When you let go, you do so from one of three places: peace, exhaustion, or indifference. To truly let go, you need to lean into one of these.
1. Peace – If what your mind craves is peace, you let go by accepting that your desires are either already yours or inevitably coming. You trust your ability to create and shift, so you stop chasing and start relaxing. Letting go from this state means stepping back, breathing easy, and knowing there’s nothing more you need to do—just be.
"Oh, easier said than done!" Yeah, that’s why we have the next two.
2. Exhaustion – If you’ve reached the point where you’re just tired, use it. Letting go through exhaustion means recognizing that you physically and mentally can’t keep stressing over this anymore. You’ve burned yourself out, and the only thing left to do is stop. Stop trying so hard, stop overthinking, stop forcing. Let yourself collapse into that exhaustion and let go because you have no energy left to hold on.
3. Indifference – This is the "fuck it" approach. Letting go through indifference means deciding that you simply do not care anymore—about shifting, about waiting, about the whole damn thing. Not in a bitter way, not in a frustrated way, just… whatever. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, you’ll be fine. You’ve got a life to live, and you’re not about to waste it worrying over something that isn’t here yet.
No matter which one you lean into, the result is the same: freedom. You stop gripping so tightly. You stop making shifting feel like a desperate struggle. And in that space—wherever you land—letting go happens naturally.
There’s no right or wrong way to let go
Think of it as a spectrum. You let go at your own pace, in a way that feels right for you. Because here’s the truth—holding onto your DR, staying in the cycle of frustration, it hurts. But it’s also comfortable. It’s familiar. And the mind loves familiarity.
Everyone has something different they need to let go of. For some, it’s their attachment to results. For others, it’s the pressure to be perfect. Maybe it’s the need to control the process or the fear of what happens if they succeed. Letting go isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution/It’s about recognizing what is keeping you stuck and unhappy, and making the conscious choice to release it.
So, instead of forcing yourself to drown in the ocean of your desire, because you thought throwing youself in would force yourself to know how to shift, just grab a floatie. You already know how to swim. You just have to remember, and until you do, relax and let go.
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p0orbaby · 3 days ago
Note
Pl plz plz some Leah smut. Like reader has been travelling & leah has been sex deprived & when reader returns leah jumps her x
it’s not quite smut but it’s close enough
oh, and i’m sort of back…
-
You barely get the key in the door before it’s yanked open from the inside, like Leah’s been standing there, waiting, vibrating with unspent energy, and, more likely, unchecked rage. She looks good, which is annoying. Her hair’s slightly damp, and she’s in one of your hoodies—the grey one with the slightly frayed cuffs, the one she always steals when she wants to get away with things.
She stares at you. Not in a romantic, teary-eyed, oh-my-God-you’re-home way. More like she’s assessing the damage. More like she’s calculating just how much she’s going to make you pay for leaving her here alone. Three weeks. Alone. In this house. With only her own hand and a rapidly depleting sense of self-control.
“You,” she says, like an accusation.
“Me,” you say, stepping inside, dropping your bags.
She’s still staring.
“Miss me?” you ask, grinning.
She doesn’t answer, just grabs the front of your shirt, pulls you fully inside, and slams the door shut.
“Three weeks,” she says, voice clipped, already backing you against the wall. Her fingers curl in the fabric, knuckles whitening. “Do you have any idea what it’s been like?”
Leah has never been known for her patience. Not in queues, not in traffic, not in meetings, and certainly not when it comes to you. Three weeks you were gone. A press tour. Obligations. Endless flights, different time zones, hotels with beds that smelled like washing detergent and other people’s lives. Facetimes that never quite felt like enough. She’d lasted the first week with nothing but passive-aggressive texts and the occasional call, voice tight with the kind of restraint that suggested she was moments away from losing her composure entirely. By week two, she was openly sulking. By week three, you were receiving messages like, “I am actually going to die” and “This is inhumane” and “I hope you’re happy, my muscles have atrophied.”
“I was working”
“I had to do yoga.”
You blink. “You?”
“Yes.”
You bite your lip, trying not to laugh. “Jesus.”
She exhales sharply through her nose, jaw tight. “Not funny.”
“No, of course not.” You shake your head solemnly. “Very serious.”
She glares at you. “I am not joking. And I had to light a candle.”
This time, you do laugh. “A candle?”
“A fucking lavender one.” Her grip tightens on your shirt. “I’ve been desperate. Like, actually clinically unwell. Do you understand?”
“I think I can imagine—”
“You can’t,” she interrupts, shaking her head. “You’ve been in Italy. Drinking espresso. Eating pasta. Probably wanking in a five-star hotel—”
“Leah—”
“Meanwhile, I’ve been here. Alone. With a shitty vibtator and several cold showers.”
“You act like I was off having an affair,” you say, raising an eyebrow.
Leah exhales, impatient, then tilts her head, considering. “Would’ve been less cruel,” she says eventually. “At least then I could’ve been angry instead of just—” She gestures vaguely at herself. “—sexually malnourished.”
She kisses you before you have a chance to respond, her hands sliding up your chest, curling around the back of your neck, holding you there like she needs to keep you still, needs to make you stay. Her mouth is hot and demanding, frustration spilling over, and when she pulls back, she looks just as angry, just as desperate, just as ready to have you ruin her as she was a minute ago.
“Upstairs,” she says, already pulling you towards the staircase.
You smirk. “You’re keen.”
She stops, turning sharply, eyes dark. “Shut the fuck up and take me upstairs.”
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sunrisecaminus · 3 days ago
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Soundwave x Reader SFW/NSFW Headcanons
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Summary - Soundwave and human conjunx Headcanons. NSFW under the "Keep Reading".
Warnings - Valveplug, Exhibitionism
SFW
~ When you were taken from the ship, Soundwave grew attached immediately from how you treated Lazerbeak.
~ Soundwave is a very loving conjunx, even if he doesn't show it to anybody on the ship. It makes people think you are neglected all the time, but what they don't know is that it is the exact opposite.
~ Leaving to go to work? Do not worry, Soundwave would ground bridge you there. Needing more groceries? Dude, he could just order online for you for free.
~ Anytime you kiss him on the hand or face, holy crap that man will be thinking about it for the rest of his day. He has secretly took pictures and videos of your sweetest moments with him, so anytime he is stressed or down, he watches his recordings to give him more motivation.
~ Since he watched the security camera's 24/7, he will know when someone is being mean to you. The 3rd in command would deal with it himself the next day and you will never see that horrible mech ever again.
~ Researched everything about human culture to make sure anything you said wasn't confusing to him. Yes, he knows slang. No, he will not use it…that is embarrassing.
~ Megatron does not understand the human pet Soundwave acquired but Soundwave planned for this and has made literal PowerPoints for his leader on why you are useful to him.
~ Soundwave has never really cuddled before, so when you hugged him while he worked and nuzzled on his cheek…he is now craving your touch every second you are gone. He will give you every sad face he can send to you until you hug/kiss him again.
~ His tendrils would be so fun. You would play with them all the time and try to catch them when you thought he was distracted by his computer. Why did you always fall for him pretending to work? You are the reason why the Decepticons have late paperwork and reports from 2 weeks ago.
~ Would shut down a bank to give you everything you desire. He would never judge you for what you want.
NSWF
~ Speaking of what you want. If you are a crazy sex freak, he would give you that. If you are more casual and not care about sex as much, Soundwave would still love and care for all your other needs.
~ Soundwave of course would use his tendrils to please you. I think we all know those things are his best quality.
~ Public Sex? Soundwave would be confused at first on why you would want to do it on his desk, but after the first time he would never question you again. Hiding you from soldiers while fondling your chest with his hands should not be as fun as it is.
~ LOVES your body and caresses everywhere you want him to touch. Him feeling how soft humans are would make him question why Megatron hates organics.
~ You in cute outfits sends him over the edge. Soundwave loved the clothes that humans made and seeing you in rich, beautiful outfits makes him hungry.
~ His spike is average size but to you that is still big as hell so yes he would have to mass displace if you wanted to get real touchy with him.
~ Remember Soundwave craving your touch? Well, don't get him started on you touching his spike. 4 million years of the war made him realize how touch starved and sensitive he was. You can feel him shaking while he recorded everything you did to his shaft.
~ If you tried to be a little shit and do something he told you not to do…yeah you would not be able to get out of bed the next day. Look he will always be nice and gentle with you, but the moment you get naughty on purpose is when you became the bottom in the relationship.
~ He would use his tendrils, tie you up, and abuse your lower half for HOURS!
~ Soundwave is use to not sleeping for 24 hours, so you better have had a goodnight sleep last night, because this will not end until you can't even make noises anymore.
~ He is a master of Aftercare and would bathe you, wrap you up in the softest blankets, and let you sleep soundly. The only thing you would hear before dozing off is the clicking of the computer he was using to finish his work.
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steveseddie · 15 hours ago
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in bloom
written for the @steddiebingo kissing booth mini event | prompt: rose | rating: t | wc: 2,3k | tags: modern setting, flower shop au, wayne is the owner, eddie works with him, meet cute
read on ao3
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Work at the flower shop is always a little slow after Valentine’s Day.
Eddie has been helping Wayne at Munson’s Floral Treasures long enough to know this. They’ll still get orders, of course– fancy arrangements for weddings, smaller bouquets for birthdays and anniversaries, but most of these are ordered in advance. They don’t get many people walking in throughout the day, looking for a last-minute Valentine’s Day gift.
Eddie likes to send his uncle home on slow days like this. If there are no deliveries to be made and supplies aren’t coming in, Eddie is more than capable of handling however many customers come in by himself. If he can’t, all he has to do is run upstairs to the apartment and get Wayne.
So far there hasn’t been any need for that today. It’s been almost an hour since Eddie sent the old man away and no one has come into the shop. In the meantime, Eddie answers a few calls, writes down a couple of big orders, and sweeps the floor of the shop before going to the backroom to work on some new arrangements for their window display. In case anyone comes looking for a ‘Sorry I forgot about Valentine’s Day’ gift.
Eddie just got started on the second arrangement when the bell finally jingles.
He puts the shears down and steps out of the backroom, wiping his hands on his apron. “Greetings and welcome to Munson’s Floral Treasures!”
There’s a guy standing in the middle of the shop, facing away from Eddie as he studies the flowers covering the walls. He jumps when he hears Eddie, whirling around and offering a little wave. “Oh, hi.”
God, he’s pretty, Eddie thinks as he takes in the guy’s hazel eyes and soft lips. His eyes travel lower to the chest hair peeking out of the guy’s polo shirt and the way his jeans hug his thighs just right.
Then he remembers he’s working and ogling customers is probably rude. Clearing his throat, Eddie offers him a polite smile. “Can I help you?”
The guy shakes his hair out, running his hand through it to push it back. “Yeah, so, I have kind of a weird request.”
Eddie raises an eyebrow, his interest piqued. “Lucky for you, I love weird,” he says, which sounds a little weird and makes Eddie grimace. Jesus, try to be normal, Munson.
But the guy chuckles, his eyes crinkling in amusement. “Well, I– I need a bouquet that says ‘fuck you’ in a passive-aggressive way,” he says, his eyes flickering nervously over Eddie’s face.
“That’s it?” Eddie asks with a snort. “Because I promise you, man, that’s not the weirdest thing someone has asked for.”
The guy’s eyebrows shoot up. “No?”
“Nope,” he says, leaning on his elbows and gesturing at the guy to come closer like he’s sharing a secret. “One time a guy came in and asked for a flower arrangement to apologize for breaking into a home.”
A disbelieving laugh tumbles from the guy’s lips. “What? Really?”
“Yup. That was the first time that a sale ended with me having to talk to the police,” Eddie says before pursing his lips. “Actually no, that’d be when I used to deal weed in high school.”
The guy lets out a loud laugh, scrunching his shoulders in a way that has Eddie melting against the counter. Pretty, hot and cute. That can’t be fair. “Well, I doubt my bouquet will involve any police investigation.”
“No?” Eddie asks, narrowing his eyes. “You’re not planning on murdering whoever you’re giving it to?”
The guy’s nose scrunches up. “God, I wish, but no, this is just for my own amusement.”
“Good thing I happen to be in the business of amusing pretty guys,” Eddie says, shooting him a flirty grin, getting all up in his space until the guy’s eyes widen and Eddie pulls back. “Uh, customers! I meant customers, Jesus.”
Luckily, the guy seems far from bothered by Eddie’s flirting. In fact, his eyes sparkle with something that looks suspiciously like interest, his cheeks turning pink.
Most times when Eddie has to put together an arrangement he asks the person to check out the shop while he goes to the work table they keep in the back, but he really doesn’t want to waste a moment with this guy so he says fuck it and starts working on the bouquet right there on the counter.
He can feel the guy’s eyes watching him curiously.
“If you don’t mind my asking,” Eddie starts, breaking the silence after a moment. “Who is this going to? Cheating girlfriend? Asshole boss? Shitty family member?”
He glances up just in time to catch the guy staring intently at Eddie’s hands as he works. When he feels Eddie’s attention on him, his head snaps up, the color on his cheeks deepening.
“Uh, no– no cheating girlfriend. No girlfriend at all actually,” he says. Then after a short pause, he adds, “no boyfriend either.”
Eddie almost drops the shears. It has to mean something that the guy wants him to know that, right?
Before Eddie can reply with something stupid like ‘good, do you want one?’ the guy keeps talking.
“You were right about the other two, though,” he says. “My shitty father is also my asshole boss.”
Eddie grimaces at that. Wayne is his dad in all ways that count and working with him isn’t bad, but for a second he entertains the idea of having to work with his father instead and already he’s convinced he’d need a couple of ‘fuck you’ bouquets too.
“Our firm is throwing him a party for signing this big company but they don’t care about how many people he had to fire for that to happen or how many of those so-called business trips he spent cheating on my mom,” the guy explains and Eddie lets out a sympathetic whistle.
“Fuck, man. That’s definitely shitty.”
The guy shoots him a tiny smile. “Yeah, and since I’m expected to attend, I thought I could at least get some enjoyment out of it.” He points at the flowers that Eddie is carefully selecting. “This seemed like a better idea than, like, sabotaging his party.”
Eddie lets out an amused snort. “Yeah, that’s probably smart.”
They fall into comfortable silence with the guy staring at Eddie while he works. This time it’s him who strikes up a conversation.
“So, uh, Eddie,” the guy starts, squinting his eyes to read the name tag on his shirt. “I’m not like, telling you how to do your job or anything but isn’t that a lot of orange and yellow? Aren’t those happy colors?”
“Actually, these orange lilies symbolize hatred,” Eddie explains. “And the yellow carnations symbolize rejection and disdain.”
The guy’s mouth falls open in an ‘o’ shape. He leans on the counter and picks another one of the flowers that Eddie has spread out on the counter. “What about this one?”
“Foxglove. They can represent insincerity and deceit.”
The guy nods along as Eddie continues to explain the meaning of every flower he has picked, his eyes sparkling with interest. Flower language is one of the many things Eddie could ramble about for hours, but people usually don’t care enough about it to hear him out. But this guy is listening intently, his chin resting on his hand as Eddie talks.
“And what does that mean?” He asks, pointing at the greens Eddie picked for filler.
“Nothing, that’s just greenery.”
“Oh,” the guy chuckles, ducking his head with an embarrassed little smile. “You– uh, you know a lot about flowers, man. How long have you been doing this?”
“Since I was a little kid,” Eddie says, carefully arranging the greens. “My uncle owns the shop so even before I came to live with him I was helping out here. My dad wasn’t around much, he used to drop me off all the time so Wayne started teaching me how to take care of the flowers, how to make arrangements. Now I also help him with deliveries and stuff.”
“Do you like it?”
“Yeah, it’s nice. I've always liked flowers. And I like doing things with my hands,” Eddie says, wiggling his fingers with a smirk, watching as the guy’s eyes follow the movement.
“They’re good. Your hands,” he says, the color rising on his cheeks when his words catch up with him. “I mean, they look good. What they’re doing looks good.”
A pleased grin stretches over Eddie’s lips. “Thanks, big boy,” he says, grinning wider when the guy’s breath hitches.
“Uh, Steve. I’m Steve.”
Eddie thought he’d have to come up with an excuse to ask for his name, some bullshit about needing it for the receipt, but he’s glad he doesn’t have to now. “Well, Steve, any preference for the wrapping?”
��Um, no. You pick.”
“Alright,” Eddie says, grabbing some green wrapping paper and tying it neatly around the bouquet with a red bow. “All done.”
Steve grabs the bouquet with an awed smile. “It’s perfect. So pretty that no one will know I’m telling my dad he sucks.”
“I aim to please,” Eddie says, grinning smugly.
Steve chuckles, reaching into his jacket for his wallet and sliding a card across the counter. Eddie rings him up as slowly as he can get away with, not wanting Steve to go yet.
By the way Steve lingers after Eddie hands his card back, maybe he doesn’t want to either.
“I should go, let you get back to work,” Steve says eventually. Eddie tries not to look too disappointed. “Thanks, Eddie.”
“You’re welcome, Stevie. Good luck with your dad.”
Steve makes a face but thanks Eddie again before turning around to leave.
When he’s almost at the door, Eddie impulsively calls after him. “Steve, wait!”
Turning around, he raises an eyebrow at Eddie.
“You– uh, you forgot something.”
“I did?”
“Yeah,” Eddie says, plucking a red rose from one of their leftover Valentine’s Day bouquets and ducking under the counter to catch up with Steve by the door. “This.”
“For the bouquet?” He asks, tilting his head.
“No, for you,” Eddie says, “on the house.”
Steve’s eyebrows shoot up. “Do you give roses to all your customers?”
“Only the pretty ones I really want to see again.”
Steve smiles, finally reaching for the rose. “Well, then,” he says, winking. “I’ll see you, Eddie.”
Eddie grins. “Bye, Steve.”
***
The bell above the door chimes and Eddie pauses his pruning to greet the new customer.
“Welcome to Munson’s Floral Treasures, what can I do for– Steve!” He cuts himself off when he recognizes him, a too big grin appearing on his face.
Steve grins right back, offering a small wave. “Hi, Eddie.”
Out of the corner of his eye, Eddie can see Wayne glancing at them over the shoulder of the old lady he’s currently helping. Eddie knows he’ll have to explain to his nosey uncle why he’s on a first name basis with a customer and why he’s so happy to see him, but he’ll worry about that later.
“You’re back,” Eddie says, turning his attention back to Steve. It’s been a week since the first time he was here and Eddie would be lying if he said he didn’t spend his days glancing wistfully at the door every time someone came in hoping it was Steve. “Here for another ‘fuck you’ bouquet?”
Steve chuckles, following Eddie to the counter. “No, I’m here for something else.”
Eddie ducks behind the counter, resting his elbows on the surface. “Another weird request?” He asks, playfully waggling his eyebrows.
“You tell me,” Steve says, copying Eddie’s position on the opposite side of the counter, leaving their faces only inches apart. Eddie gulps, heat rising to his cheeks. “I need you to deliver a bouquet for me.”
“That’s pretty standard for a flower shop, Stevie,” Eddie says, cocking his head in amusement. “But sure, whatcha need?”
“A bouquet that says ‘do you want to go on a date with me?’”
Eddie blinks, trying to make sure he’s not imagining the little smirk tugging at Steve’s lips. “Oh, um, of course. We can do that!” He says, his voice an octave too high. “What’s– what’s the address for the delivery?”
That smirk turns into a full-on grin. “Oh, that’s easy,” Steve says, leaning even closer. Eddie hopes Wayne is too busy with the old lady to see what’s happening or he’ll never hear the end of this. “Munson’s Floral Treasures– ever heard of it?”
Eddie’s stomach flip-flops wildly. “You tryna ask my uncle on a date, Stevie?” He teases, barely able to keep the giddy smile off his face. “He might be a little too old for you.”
“Maybe,” Steve shrugs, walking his fingers on the counter until they’re brushing against Eddie’s arm. “But I think his nephew might be perfect for me.”
Eddie’s knees go weak from Steve’s words and his featherlight touch on his arm. “I think you might be right,” he says, biting his lip.
Steve’s eyes flicker down for a split second. “So, you’ll send that for me?”
“Yup. Happy to.”
“Great.” Steve grabs a pen from the counter and writes something down on the notepad where they take orders. “Here’s my number. You know, so you can let me know how the delivery went and what the answer was.”
Eddie nods, and with a wink, Steve turns around and leaves.
As soon as he walks through the door, Eddie grabs his phone and dials Steve’s number. He watches through the window as Steve stops and digs his phone from his pocket, a smile twitching at his lips as he brings it to his ear.
“Hello?”
“It’s a yes,” Eddie says eagerly.
Steve peers through the window and shoots him a lopsided grin. “Yeah?”
“Mhm.”
“So can I pick you up on Friday at 7?”
Eddie forces himself not to let a happy squeal or punch his fist in the air because Steve can see him. “Yeah, that’s– that’s good.”
“See you on Friday then,” Steve says, hanging up and waving at Eddie through the window before he disappears down the street.
As soon as he’s gone, Eddie breaks into a grin. He gets weird looks from Wayne and the customers that come in throughout the day but it hardly matters. He has a date to look forward to.
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lostinlovingrevery · 3 days ago
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Logan and fluffy things I like to imagine with him. Part 2: electric boogaloo
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logan has a soft spot for animals. He wont go absolutely out of his way i think to interact with them, but definitely has a mutual respect for them.
that being said, going for a walk with Logan, and a stray kitten comes up and absolutely WILL NOT leave logan alone. It adores him, screaming and climbing his pants. You of course insist on taking it home and logan grumbles over it but doesnt argue
cue all the moments of "dad who didnt want animal in first place" with logan as he treats it like his literally baby. Its young and still needs milk, and lots of tlc.
you wake up to him missing from bed one night, crawling out in search of him and finding him in the kitchen- babytalking and cooing the little itty bity baby kitten hes holding in his arm (imagine. Tiny kitten. Logans beefy arms. 😍) and bottle feeding it.
he gets so embarrassed when you catch him.
making him laugh. Like really. He's so stoic sometimes. hes sarcastic and has a smart mouth and really funny himself but not much gets him going
but you tell him a joke . or maybe a funny story of something that happened to you, or a funny limerick whatever okay
and he LAUGHS
its the first time you ever heard him laugh, probably the first time you ever made him laugh that wasn't a small chuckle (say you're still new to each other)
His laugh is just so warm and boisterous. It's a real peek into the kind of person Logan can be if he's in the right enviornment
that big cute smile, his low voice. that loud laugh. I mean honestly
making him laugh so hard he's crying and its uncontrollable
thats right baby girl
anyway
Logan loves listening to your heartbeat
lies on your chest and listens to it beat away. it's grounding to him, a reminder you're still here with him
Either with the X-men, or with Wades gang, Logan slowly opening up and becoming more comfortable with people- purely because YOU'RE there.
your presence reassures him so much
feeding each other
its natural too. You're just at breakfast, lunch, or dinner. you take a fork of your food, or maybe your french fries, or whatever and immediately hold it up to his mouth and he just eats it without question
Feeding him fruits, or chocolates, or a charcuterie spread AH *sigh*
Leading to having a picnic with him. He's a little unsure at first. I think depending on the logan you're picturing, or at least when you meet him, he may have points where he gets shy about dates and stuff
a picnic is one of those things. planning food and a blanket and all and it really does sound nice to him. Too nice. It feels unnatural to him and he doesn't know how to behave, maybe he doesn't think he deserves to do something so...domestic, and soft
you of course argue that "yes logan, you deserve to do picnics too."
Once you actually get him out though, he'll eventually relax, lying on the blanket, on a nice breezy yet sunny day under a large tree, arms crossed behind his head as you feed him grapes and strawberries and blueberries
"Yeah, okay, I could get use to this"
planning other dates with logan. for awhile it's something you take initiative of. But then Logan surprises you. He got you tickets to see a broadway show you've been talking about for months.
since then logan starts pulling his weight with planning dates. he always enjoyed the dates esp in the beginning. he just wasn't used to it, used to meaninglyess flings and lonelines. Sitting and trying to get to know each other was hard for logan bc he struggled opening up
for you tho he does
in a setting with the x-men, they all are amazed how easily logan trusts you. Even as just friends.
you do whatever to him and he just accepts it. He doesn't flinch. or scoff. or tell you to fuck off (sorry Scott. i know you were just asking for the salt). He'll give you his witty and sarcastic remarks but they tend to be a lot nicer and sweeter
he looks at you with a softness they're all confused by
well except jean and charles, they both see what's going on in his head. it's sweet actually
ororo actually picks up on it pretty quickly too
Scotts the one who's just confused but prob bc he gets the most abuse
sorry again scott
okay, not really a logan fluff relationship but honestly logan and scott becoming semi friends? I feel like hard feelings and annoyances aside, they could really get along. I don't know much about Scotts character but i feel like they're both men who can be great leaders and genuinely care about their people. Logan and Scott putting aside differences and going out for a guys night at a bar. Maybe some other X-men join to, but Scott and Logan talk a lot
Meanwhile you, Jean, Ororo, and a few other girls have a girls night
Logan opening up to Scott about how he feels about you (you're still friends at this point), he doesn't outright say that he's scared to make a move, mainly because he's scared of hurting you in more ways than one
Scott gives him a pep talk, male bonding. of course they end the night insulting each other but on the bright note they seem to come to an understanding
Logan is a very attentive boyfriend. He may act aloof sometimes but he notices EVERYTHING. Don't be surprised that your birthday and christmas gifts are always exactly the things you wanted even if you hadn't told anyone you wanted them.
You're teaching a class and logan stops by to give you something. He gives you a kiss in front of the class without thinking, and they're all "Oooooo"ing and "Aaaw"ing over it. Logan tells them to grow up, (They're 5th graders logan)
imagine shopping together, and logan picks out clothes he thinks would be cute on you. He finds a pretty sundress and practically demands you to get it. Of course you do. He ADORES you in that sundress. His hands are never off you when you wear it
It awakens something in him and he starts buying you pretty clothes he wants to see you in. He knows your size by heart, he knows what materials you like and what you hate, and the colors you despise on you (even tho he thinks you look good in everything)
Kissing each space of his hands where the claws come out. It's a gesture of love and trust. Logans scared of you doing it, afraid he'd somehow lose control but you reassure him. Now he loves it, and it truly makes him think that maybe he isn't such a monster if you could love him like that
You do his laundry for him. It's not like he asked you or that he doesn't keep the laundry up himself, you just do it, acts of service being your love language and he comes home and finds you did it and hes kinda shook because like...wow? being taken care of? it was so simply. its just laundry. But damn
Speaking of, doing laundry together.
I want to do laundry with Worst! Logan, we go to some 24 hour laundromat. maybe just neighbors but you've been flirting with each other, and consider each other good friends, the implication of something more. You're laughing and you guys have the place to yourselves. Logan feels safer than he has in a long time with you. Maybe share your first kiss, at 1 am in the laundromat.
I like to think about late nights in your study with Trilogy Logan, he hangs out with you, he already has trouble sleeping, and just loves your sweet company. Your conversations turn deep, maybe you had a recent mission that turned rough, and it literally turns into a love confession by Logan. You return the feelings, and he asks "Are you sure about me?", and you respond to him with an eager kiss, your arms embracing each other in the way those old romantic movies when they kiss (I use to be so grossed out by those and now I would love nothing more *dreamy sigh*)
I want to comfort Old Man Logan, maybe he had a really bad day, and disappears. You get Caliban to watch Charles for the night while you search for him, and you find him at a bar he usually frequents. Hes gruff but polite and tells you to go home and go to bed, but you urge him to come back with you. Eventually you get him to agree to at least come walk with you down the streets. He doesn't know how, but you draw out of him his worries, his fears - and they mainly revolve around you, this sweet little thing who came into this fucked up life of his. You reassure him that you wouldn't want to be anywhere else, and you end up kissing him. He's shocked you like an old man like him, but...he'll take what he can get.
I want to be 70s DOFP Logan friend first, hes a menace, and he has fallen hopelessly in love with you. Much to your obliviousness, you think he's still a Casanova out in the bars- but hes spending his nights thinking about you. One night he has enough, and rides on his motorcycle down in the pouring rain and thunderstorm. He's at your doorstep and you open the door to this sopping wet creature and the first thing he says "I'm in love with you." with water dripping down his face. Then he pulls you into a searing kiss. (im writing a fic about this btw)
With Future DOFP Logan, he would meet you, a new professor at the school, and he's quickly taken aback. After some quite hellish adventures he's been on, you were a fresh breath of air for him. You both fall into something of relationship without realizing it- because it came so naturally. It's only one day you're talking to him, outside on the patio and he's smiling softly listening to you and he leans forward and pecks you on the lips. you look at him in surprise, before grabbing his shirt and pulling him in for a real kiss
Origins! Logan takes you out on a romantic date, because he's classy like that. you share your first kiss over dinner, something sweet, and you could feel him smiling against your lips. He does it again after dinner, when he takes you home like a gentleman, you can feel his eagerness when he kisses you again, like he's trying to control himself, and he finally pulls away and wishes you goodnight (i mean, you're gonna have to invite him in)
97' Logan! He's giving you a pep talk after some bad shit went down on a mission, you feel like you could've done better, could've done more, even if everything you did do was enough. He's being unusually sweet and supportive and you leaned over and kissed him. You're surprised at yourself, but Logan isn't. He chuckles, telling you he gets it, he's irresistable, but then he kisses you again and can't stop (whos the irresistable one NOW Logan??)
I didn't mean for those to turn into first kisses prompts but enjoy. I have so many ideas of how first kisses with logan could go, these are just a few of many
pecking his cheek and his beard scratching your lips, but you actually really like how it feels
him rubbing and scratching his beard all over you to mess with you. It tickles but he's pinning you down and you're shrieking.
He keeps a picture of you on him at all times.
he loves hearing your stories. he wants to listen to you yap. he loves when you yap. even if it's useless stuff, the way you seem to enjoy and live life the way he never had before, he just can't get enough
helping him with his suit, you're zipping him up, but you press several kisses up his spine as you are zipping him. your lips sends shivers through him
helping him with a fancy suit. like suit and tie, (this would be cute for old man logan!). he's grumping and frumping about wearing it, but then you tell him how handsome he looks, and he smiles, and suddenly he's not so grumpy about it.
logan pressing soft kisses all over your face. bonus if it's after he hadn't seen you for awhile
okay but imagine after yall been together for awhile, maybe talking about getting a house together...
you guys "just look"
logan doesn't like anything. So he convinces charles to give him some land and goes and secretly builds a house for you. he recruits help from some others. he hires a designer to be able to get the parts he noticed you liked
you have NO idea. A year later, maybe 2, he brings you to it, and you're like "When did this house get here" and he tells you everything
logan definitely doesn't think things are "too much" when it comes to his devotion to you lets just say.
These are all i got for now! Keep an eye out for pt 3 :)
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saebyeokbliss · 2 days ago
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JUST MEET ME AT THE APT.— K. SAE-BYEOK
CHAPTER ONE
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synopsis: managing a rising rock band is already chaotic enough, but when you're stuck touring with four reckless musicians, things get even messier. between late-night facetime calls, teasing that feels a little too knowing, and a certain guitarist who might just be your biggest problem, keeping things professional is getting harder by the second. but hey, no one said the music industry was easy.
warnings: mutual pining, intense eye contact, teasing that borders on flirting (or maybe it is flirting), friends who refuse to mind their business, late-night facetime calls, secondhand embarrassment, slow burn that burns, emotional whiplash
playlist: spotify
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“Okay, let’s go over this one more time—”
A chorus of groans erupted around you, loud and exaggerated. Se-Mi flopped dramatically onto the couch, Ji-Yeong threw her head back like you had just sentenced her to death, and No-Eul simply sighed as she scrolled through her phone.
“I mean it,” you said, crossing your arms as you stood in the middle of the hotel suite. “This is a BuzzFeed interview. They’re going to ask easy, fun questions, but you guys still need to sound like you have at least half a brain between the four of you.”
Sae-Byeok, sitting on the arm of the couch, smirked. “That’s a lot to ask.”
You shot her a look, and she just raised her hands in surrender.
“This is why you’re our manager and not our PR rep,” Ji-Yeong said, grinning. “You actually care if we sound stupid.”
“Yes, and I’d like to keep my job,” you shot back. “So please, for the love of everything holy, just try not to say anything that’ll get us trending for the wrong reasons.”
Se-Mi, still sprawled on the couch, waved a hand lazily. “Relax, sweetheart. We’ll be fine. It’s just BuzzFeed.”
“Yeah,” Ji-Yeong chimed in, “worst case scenario, we end up in some ‘Dumbest Celebrity Interview Moments’ compilation on YouTube. Free promo.”
You pinched the bridge of your nose. “I hate all of you.”
No-Eul, ever the voice of reason, finally spoke up. “They’ll behave,” she said, barely looking up from her phone. “Mostly.”
“That’s not reassuring,” you muttered.
Sae-Byeok, watching you with an amused expression, nudged your side with her foot. “You worry too much.”
“Because one of us has to,” you shot back.
She smirked. “And that’s why you’re our favorite.”
Before you could process that (did Sae-Byeok just call you their favorite?), a knock on the door interrupted the conversation. Their stylist popped her head in, clipboard in hand.
“Alright, you guys,” she said. “Time to get dressed. Interview’s in an hour.”
Se-Mi groaned as she sat up. “Ugh, do we have to?”
“Yes,” you, No-Eul, and the stylist all said at the same time.
Ji-Yeong snickered. “Alright, alright, let’s go.”
As they shuffled off to get ready, Sae-Byeok lingered for a second, watching you.
“You’re really stressed about this, huh?” she asked, tilting her head.
You exhaled. “I just want this to go well. You guys are blowing up, and interviews like this can really shape how people see you.”
She was quiet for a moment, then—
“…We’ll be fine.”
You looked up at her.
There was something steady in the way she said it, something that made you believe her.
You sighed, shaking your head. “You better be.”
She smirked and, with that, disappeared into the dressing room.
And you? You just prayed they wouldn’t give you a heart attack on live camera.
You stood off to the side, arms crossed, watching as the girls got settled in the bright, modern-looking BuzzFeed studio. Cameras were being adjusted, mic packs were clipped onto their outfits, and a giant board with pre-written search questions was placed in front of them.
Ji-Yeong, of course, was already messing with it. “Ooooh, the mystery,” she teased, wiggling her fingers dramatically over the top of the board.
Se-Mi grinned, leaning forward. “I love these types of interviews. People Google the weirdest shit.”
No-Eul sighed, adjusting her mic. “That’s what I’m afraid of.”
Sae-Byeok, as usual, looked completely unbothered, sitting back in her chair with her arms crossed, waiting for things to start.
The interviewer, a cheerful BuzzFeed staff member, smiled at them from across the table. “Alright! Welcome, HOT DIVISION!”
A chorus of greetings followed, with Ji-Yeong and Se-Mi being the loudest while No-Eul and Sae-Byeok gave more subdued nods.
“We’re going to be doing the ‘Most Searched Questions’,” the interviewer explained, patting the board. “Each of these has a commonly searched question about you guys, and you’ll take turns peeling them off and answering.”
Ji-Yeong rubbed her hands together. “Let’s go.”
You prayed they wouldn’t say anything that would give your PR team a migraine.
Ji-Yeong, naturally, was the first to go. She dramatically peeled off the first strip of paper, reading it aloud.
“‘Is Kim Ji-Yeong… actually as chaotic as people say?’”
She gasped, clutching her chest. “I am offended by this question.”
Se-Mi snorted. “You shouldn’t be. It’s true.”
Ji-Yeong turned to the camera, dead serious. “I am a delight to be around.”
No-Eul, without looking up, muttered, “That’s a lie.”
Sae-Byeok just smirked, shaking her head.
Ji-Yeong sighed dramatically. “Fine. Yes. I am chaotic. But would you all love me if I wasn’t?”
Se-Mi threw an arm around her. “Exactly. Chaos is in our brand.”
You pinched the bridge of your nose from the sidelines.
Sae-Byeok lazily reached forward, peeling off the next strip. She read it, then raised an eyebrow.
“‘Is Kang Sae-Byeok single?’”
Ji-Yeong and Se-Mi exploded into laughter.
“OH, THIS IS GOOD,” Se-Mi cackled, slapping the table.
Sae-Byeok just sighed, giving the camera a blank look. “Yes.”
Ji-Yeong leaned forward, wiggling her eyebrows. “And are you—”
“No.”
Se-Mi pouted. “You didn’t even let her finish.”
Sae-Byeok shrugged. “Didn’t need to.”
You watched from the sidelines, carefully keeping your expression neutral. (Not that you were thinking about it. Not at all.)
No-Eul peeled her question off, scanning it briefly before exhaling.
“‘Is Kang No-Eul the mom of the group?’”
The response was immediate.
“Yes,” Se-Mi said.
“Absolutely,” Ji-Yeong added.
“The only responsible one,” Sae-Byeok confirmed.
No-Eul, unimpressed, just stared at them. “I hate all of you.”
Ji-Yeong grinned. “See? Mom behavior.”
Fourth Question: "Is Han Se-Mi…?"
Se-Mi eagerly peeled off her question, reading it with interest.
“‘Is Han Se-Mi the flirtiest member?’”
You already knew what was coming.
Se-Mi gasped dramatically, placing a hand over her heart. “Me? A flirt? How dare you.”
Sae-Byeok rolled her eyes. “You literally flirt with the camera.”
Ji-Yeong nodded sagely. “She flirts with air molecules.”
Se-Mi turned to the camera, giving a slow, knowing smirk. “I just like to make people feel special.”
From the side, you muttered under your breath, “Menace.”
Se-Mi heard you and shot a wink in your direction.
Ji-Yeong peeled off the last question, reading it aloud.
“‘Is HOT DIVISION the next big thing in rock?’”
The girls exchanged glances.
Then, Sae-Byeok leaned forward slightly, looking straight into the camera.
“Yes.”
No hesitation. No doubt. Just raw confidence.
Ji-Yeong smirked. “Damn right we are.”
Se-Mi grinned. “Hope you’re all ready.”
No-Eul nodded. “Because we’re not slowing down.”
From the sidelines, you felt something warm bloom in your chest.
They had come a long way. And they were just getting started.
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taglist: @everly-summers-solace @knfthxv @madebysae @knfthxv @katieschry1 @imlackingsleep @lyzem @stellssxo @wiltingconquest @peelover25
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velvetvexations · 4 hours ago
Note
I'd like to add something to the topic of forced impregnation / corrective rape of transmascs & men.
One thing I feel like other people tend to believe is that trans people with uteruses / the capability to get pregnant are "extremising" a problem that really only affects a few select trans people, surely not a lot.
What they don't get is that we're not extremising anything. Even just on the topic of forced pregnancy, I know barely a single trans man who hasn't been told that getting pregnant would fix him or that his whole worth as a person with a uterus is measured in how many children he can pop out at best, or being straigh up threatened with it or at worst having someone actually attempt to or fully act on that threat. And the ones who it didn't happen to? They know full well that it's always a "it didn't happen yet". That threat is still there, even without anyone saying it. People don't have to outright say it or threaten us because we just know.
It's not something we made up as a "gotcha" to trans women. In fact, it has nothing to do with most trans women at all, safe for the ones who can get pregnant! It's our lived experience. Our every-day life.
I was thirteen, just started my period, when my mother started to try to convince me that my whole worth as a person was making babies, that I needed to make kids the second I'd turn eighteen, that I would otherwise waste my life. And no, she didn't actually think that of all women. My cis sister? Never got to hear any of that. Just me. Because my mother looked at me being masculine and saw something she needed to fix (by only buying me extremely sexualised feminine outfits and telling me the stuff mentioned above, and that it was "only that" makes me one of the lucky ones). It happened to me not just because I was born with a uterus, because then it would've happened to my sister, too. It happened because my mother could tell something was "wrong" with me because I was too masculine. Got a little too exited when people mistook me for my brother. She didn't know what transmasculinity was back then in name, but she absolutely did know that it was "wrong" and needed to be "fixed" - and the way to fix a "broken woman" is to get her pregnant. She, of course, couldn't do that back then, but she could do her best to try to make me do that once I was "old enough" (I'm very glad today that she failed.)
And basically every trans men I've talked with about that topic had their own story like that or much, much worse. Only very rarely has a transmasc/man not experienced something like that, and even then, the threat is so omnipresent that even they tend to know exactly what I'm talking about.
It's a horrifying truth, it's uncomfortable, but it needs to be talked about. Our pain has been ignored and swept under the rug for so long, and people are still continuing to do so. So they can keep telling themselves that we "don't have it that bad" that we're "making a deal out of nothing" that what happens to us is just "individual cases" not something targeted. Because if people don't listen, they don't have to admit to themselves how they're playing into our oppression. Because to this day my mother is still claiming that she supports the trans community, after she did everything in her power to stop her son from existing. She won't listen to what I have to say because it "wasn't that bad", and my sister turned out great, so what do I have to cry about?
Nobody listens to trans men in general because it's never "as bad" as we make it out to be. After all, a cis woman said it wasn't that bad and she'll always be more believable than what ever a trans man or transmasculine person has to say. A trans man could obviously never experience anything a cis woman in his situation wouldn't.
This got longer than I anticipated. Thank you for listening and talking about this topic. I appreciate you, your work here is incredibly important and I'm glad you do this. Take care, and have a nice day!
(Also, this whole assumption about us "extremising" and "making a big thing out of nothing" also sounds a bit like hysteria talk to me, especially given that our conversation is about uterus-related things, but I might be reading to much into it here.)
the issue is that TRFs will take all this as "so you're saying that means trans men have it worse than trans women?"
like noooooooo you invented that sentence! that was nowhere in the original text girliepop!
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outofrealms · 1 day ago
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Isekai’d as the Demon King’s Therapist
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Chapter 1: I Was Just Getting Coffee, and Now I’m a Therapist for a Demon King?!
Synopsis: One minute, I’m fighting a vending machine for coffee. The next, I’m the therapist for Zarvath, the Demon King who’s one bad day away from obliterating the realm. His mental health’s a mess, and I’ve got nothing but my psych degree and questionable life choices to fix it. No pressure, right?
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It all started with a vending machine.
Not some magical, glowing vending machine that dispensed ancient relics or cursed snacks. Nope. This was the regular, broken vending machine in the breakroom at work, the one that seemed to have a personal vendetta against me.
I just wanted a cup of coffee. One measly coffee to help me survive another session with a client who swore Mercury in retrograde was the reason her life was falling apart. I was dangerously low on caffeine, and without it, I was one minor inconvenience away from shouting at inanimate objects like she did.
But the vending machine had other plans.
It ate my dollar. Then, just for fun, it ate my life.
I gave it a light smack. Nothing violent. I’m not a monster. Just a small “I’m watching you” kind of tap.
That’s when the vending machine decided to electrocute me.
There was a bright flash of light, a weird sound like a thousand cats sneezing at once, and then….nothing.
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When I opened my eyes, I was in a throne room.
I lay flat on a cold, black floor, staring up at a ceiling covered in glowing runes and what I really, really hoped were fake skulls. Around me were creatures straight out of a heavy metal album cover, demons with horns, glowing eyes, and questionable fashion choices.
In front of me sat a seven-foot-tall demon with glowing red eyes and a crown made of actual fire. He was lounging on a massive black throne, sipping something from a skull-shaped goblet like this was just another Tuesday.
He raised an eyebrow. “You’re the one?”
The one what?!
I sat up slowly, still trying to process the fact that I was very much not in my office anymore. My first thought? Hallucination. Second thought? Maybe I’m dead, and this is some weird afterlife punishment for all the times I lied about liking kale.
“Answer me, mortal!” the demon barked. “Are you the legendary mind healer we summoned?”
Legendary mind healer? Was he talking about a therapist? Did I just get isekai’d to be a demon king’s therapist?!
“Uh… yeah. Sure. That’s me,” I said, adopting the time-honored strategy of when in doubt, agree.
The demon who I later learned was Zarvath, the Demon King of Darkness leaned forward, his eyes glowing brighter. “Excellent. My armies may be unstoppable, but my mental health is… fragile.”
Oh. My. God.
One of the demons, a nervous little imp cleared his throat. “Lord Zarvath, we were supposed to summon the most powerful mind healer in all the realms. Are you sure we got the right one?”
Zarvath frowned. “Do you doubt my summoning rituals?”
The imp shook his head so fast I thought it might fly off. “N-no, of course not! But… they don’t look very powerful.”
Rude. I may not look like much, but I’ve survived family holiday dinners, passive-aggressive coworker emails, and clients who believe crystals can cure broken bones. I’m tougher than I look.
“I may not have magic,” I said, crossing my arms, “but I’ve got a master’s degree in psychology and plenty of experience dealing with difficult people. You want therapy? I’m your person.”
Zarvath tilted his head. “Master’s degree? In… psychology?”
“Yeah. It’s a degree that qualifies me to help people process their emotions, manage stress, and develop healthier coping mechanisms.”
Zarvath narrowed his eyes. “So… it’s a form of magic?”
“Not exactly. It’s more like… mental training. But instead of using spells, I help you talk through your feelings and reframe your negative thoughts.”
Zarvath crossed his arms. “Sounds like sorcery to me.”
The imp leaned closer to Zarvath, whispering loudly enough for me to hear, “Master, perhaps it’s some kind of mind enchantment?”
“It’s not enchantment! It’s cognitive behavioral therapy!” I said. “There’s science behind it!”
Zarvath nodded slowly, stroking his chin. “Hmph. Whatever it is, if it can stop me from obliterating the next hero I meet just because they irritate me, I’m willing to try.”
He leaned back on his throne, considering me carefully. “Very well. Prove your worth.”
And that’s how I found myself sitting on a demon-sized couch, preparing to give my first therapy session to the Demon King of Darkness.
I wasn’t sure how I got here, or how I was supposed to survive in this world… but one thing was clear: this Demon King needed serious help. And if I played my cards right, I might just live long enough to give it to him.
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sunarots · 3 days ago
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taste ━━━ suna rintarou & miya osamu
24. regret ♡
cw. cheating, steamy scene towards the end
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The more people fill his small flat, the less aware of his surroundings Suna becomes. He grabs the bottle of vodka he'd hidden at the back of his cabinet and takes a drink straight from it. His vision blurs together as he eyes over the people filling his kitchen.
When did it get so busy? It felt like just a few seconds ago he was preparing for people to arrive with shot after shot until the twins showed up. Where did the twins go? They were just here a second ago.
Suna squeezes through the unfamiliar bodies, escaping the kitchen. The only empty room he can find is the bathroom in his ensuite, courtesy of the group of girls crying on his bed. He closes the door over and sets the bottle on the side of the sink.
He takes a long and hard look in the mirror, noticing every single flaw and yet unable to make a note of any of it. Not a single thought stays in his head for longer than a few seconds. Of course, you're the exclusion.
All week he's been lingering on what he should have done, what he wishes he had done. Hell, if Suna were to get the chance to do it, he would beg for you back. He would do whatever you wanted of him. He yearns to serve you, prove he knows he wants you. He would dedicate his heart and soul for you just for a final chance.
The music vibrates throughout his flat, still able to clearly hear the music through the bathroom door. Every now and again someone will shout something incoherent, followed by the crowd erupting into loud cheers. Time starts to blend together as he turns away from the mirror and sits on the edge of his bathtub, grabbing the wall beside him to stop himself from falling into it.
Just as he's considering kicking everyone out, someone opens the door to his bathroom. Who the fuck-
Oh. It's you.
Suna feels his expression soften as he watches you close the door, resting your forehead against it. "Are you okay?" He sounds drunk — too drunk considering it's not even past midnight yet.
You jump at the sound of his voice, too startled to bother wiping the tears from your cheeks. "Sorry. I just needed to get away."
Suna shrugs his shoulder and gestures for you to take a seat opposite him. He watches you lower the lid of the toilet to sit on top of it, taking some toilet paper to dry your tears. He picks up the bottle of vodka by the sink and takes another swig before offering you some of it. You hesitate before taking it from him, taking small sips at a time.
"Have you seen Osamu?" you ask between sips, your words slurring together.
Suna shrugs his shoulders and rests his head against the wall. "Not for a while. He's with Atsumu."
You nod slowly, relief spreading across your face. "Okay. Good."
Oh, right. He came without you. Why would he come without you? Does Osamu trust you that much? That must mean the feelings are fully gone, right? Right... He has no chance.
Then again, Suna came to parties with you. He hosted parties with you. He may not have agreed to every surprise date you planned, but he still showed up. Suna never forgot a birthday, anniversary, event, nothing. So, maybe he still has a chance.
"He's stupid to have come without you," he announces, reaching out to take the bottle back.
You hand it over to him. "Yeah, I know. But I can't be annoyed because he's looking out for his brother who is clearly going through something."
"He could have brought Atsumu to you." Suna sips the vodka, trying to get a read on your expression — not easy, considering it's blending together. "He's fucking stupid for wasting his time with you."
You start laughing, leaning forward with a wide smile. "Fuck off, you can't talk! Do you not remember the end of the relationship? Why you dumped me? Don't start acting all holier than thou."
Scoffing, he runs a hand through his hair and sets the bottle down on the counter by the sink. "Yeah, and it was the biggest mistake of my fucking life. He'll lose you too if he's not careful."
You straighten up, laughter subsiding. A silence falls over you both until you eventually speak, "Do you regret me?"
"I regret everything after meeting Rubi. I could never regret you." Suna pulls himself up and runs the cold water in the sink, leaning under it to take a mouthful of water before turning his attention back to you.
You're now stood beside him, lightly nudging him out of the way to get some water for yourself. Suna can't take his eyes off you. You straighten up and wipe the water from your mouth. You definitely caught him staring — he can tell by the way you're looking at him.
But Suna's well past the point of caring right now. He doesn't care about anything but you. Everything else surrounding him separates from reality, the centre of his focus is you.
"Look, Suna, I-"
He moves without thinking, his hands grabbing your waist and pulling you in close. Your breath is hot against his lips, your hands hovering by his hips. Suna closes the gap, sinking further into your touch. The heat of your skin against his ignites a fire in his stomach, an everlasting hunger only subsided by your lips against his.
Suna pulls away from you, keeping his hands on your hips. A newfound sobriety startles him, but reality is yet to hit. "Do you want me to stop?"
The seconds before you respond feel like an eternity to Suna. The shake of your head is taken as an invitation. His hands slide down from your waist to your thighs, pulling you up to set you on the sink.
Your arms wrap around his neck to pull him closer, leaning your back against the mirror. The vodka bottle slips into the bath and shatters, but you don't give Suna a chance to react. You pull him closer to you, dissolving into his touch.
Suna relishes in the fact that you're enjoying this kiss as much as he is. He can tell you missed it as much as he has. It just feels right to you have you with him.
The door swings open behind him, the person halting to a stop. Suna wraps an arm around your waist and pulls your head to his chest to shield you, looking through the mirror to see Iwaizumi.
"Oh, sorry. I'll just... wait." He instantly shuts the door, leaving you both alone again.
Suna releases you, taking a step back and trying to catch his breath.
You're sat on the sink with tears in your eyes, unable to calm your anxiety. "Oh my god. I just- Oh my god... I need to go-"
Before you can touch the door, Suna blocks your way. "If you go out, they'll know. I'll clear the room so no one can see, you can hide until he comes in and then leave. Okay?" When you don't respond, Suna sighs and carefully positions you behind the door. "Okay?"
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# fun fact !
iwa heard the bottle fall when he was waiting and thought someone might have hurt themself
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masterlist. previous | next
summary. when your ex starts dating your least favourite person on campus, your ex-best friend from high school, you can’t help but feel a little betrayed. you quickly realise a way to get back at him: his best friend.
taglist (open!). @v3nusplanetofluv @mdmraz @thoughtswithbbg @fireinyoureye @wakashudou @jisookdays @tespho @frootloopscos @gigiiiiislife @walllflowerrrsss @tangerinelovr @datonegaybestfriend @sturnprincess @jpegarchives @justanotherweeb666 @1yeah1 @rrosiitas @yuu-via @zazathezaer @softpia @animenaces-world @loveelylani @punkhazardlaw @to-dino @nanamis-right-tiddie @aboutkiyoomi @arusio @aloore @dailyakira @alexithemiyatic @chemiru @p1nktulip @writing-for-the-hell-of-it @taefanclub @h3xi2g0n3 @rikidaze @mncxbe @luvelyjjk @iluv-ace @arwawawa2 @aldebrana @nanasrkives
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cea-tide · 1 day ago
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I skimmed through it and while it has some valuable advice here and there, when it comes down to giving specific examples, they give sub-optimal or actively privacy-hostile suggestions. I find that odd, as that is the opposite it claims to want to achieve. It falls right into the trap of false privacy the text is talking about. I put more details about my reasoning under the cut. I'd urge you still to follow along, but instead of taking the recommendations they give at face value, check out these two sites and compare: privacytools.io prism-break.org As a general rule of thumb, if the software is free, (libre) and open-source [F(L)OSS], everyone can check the code on malicious or faulty code (including trackers). These are preferred over closed-source solutions, which don't have any such accountability. This does not consider privacy-focused architecture per sé (though people certainly check for that), but the FLOSS community is generally privacy-focused, and you are at least (extremely likely) not tracked by the software itself. Exceptions to everything. Also, I want to mention this because I did not see them talk about it: If you change your details (email, etc.) on an account, all your old tracking data linked to that account (or even email) may now be linked to the new details too! Make an entirely new account wherever you can (and switch to privacy-focused services). This is where those email masks are incredibly useful; one mask per account. Feel free to ask me questions; I'll try to answer them.
They start with linking to Amazon lol, but they do acknowledge that
The RSS reader they recommend is actively promoting (generative) AI
Browsers: they do mention Chromium and its Google ownership, but they fail to mention most of the browsers are based on it, its problems with MV3 (see my #firefox tag), and then they recommend the very browsers that are Chromium-based... Just use Firefox or a derivative of it.
Password Managers: LastPass is not recommended; android app has/had trackers and it has had numerous data breaches.
"Most Privacy Isn't Private". Indeed, the moment you connect to the internet you can be traced eventually with enough effort. You can only make it harder (to the point that it is practically private). That does not mean that you should not try of course :)
Yes, store as much locally on a disk. What is not on the internet cannot be tracked or data-harvested.
Data balkanisation: That's not about giving your data to as many rival companies as possible (???), it's about country data legislation. Are you really relying on the assumption that Google/Yahoo wouldn't want to make a profit by selling more data, regardless of its buyer? Second example: just use Signal where possible because it doesn't share your data...
Ceasar: if you absolutely can't switch from a platform, yes minimise its usage
Firefox extensions: Ghostery is not recommended; it has/had trackers itself, and ads too (according to user reviews on the internet; no personal experience). I have reblogged plenty of FF addon posts before; see my #firefox tag.
Email clients: the default Windows mail app is of course controlled by Microsoft; do not use. I also recommend Thunderbird, but check your options above (and elsewhere). Note, an app is not required if your email provider also has a webmail (e.g. proton). Up to your preference.
Calendars: No comments, beside check the above sites.
Signal is not the only one out there, but it is certainly the most mainstream popular. And the more popular, the lower the social network switching cost, yay
Password Managers: LastPass is not recommended; android app has/had trackers and it has had numerous data breaches. Neither is 1Password recommended, because it is closed-source.
VPNs: I do not trust that list. Again, check above. There is also an outdated VPN privacy overview from 2019 on this website. I will write my own eventually, because that has been abandoned, but that will not be anytime soon. Because I know this specific example, I'll also say explicitly to not use ExpressVPN, because it has been taken over by Kape Technologies.
Collaboration clouds: One of them is powered by AI again... These are all closed-source; I do not recommend them. Instead I use: cryptpad.org, which can also serve as cloud storage, but indeed is a collaboration suite.
No comments on home assistants. They're spot on. All I will say is allowing tunnelling into your home network and connecting Internet of Things, is a massive security risk in general. Also consider setting up a Pi Hole on your network.
Mobile OS: I don't have enough experience on this; no comment.
I urge folks to check out this link. Its a very approachable roadmap to improving your digital privacy. As a consequence, it usually means you'll be supporting tech giants much less. Its not all or nothing either, do what you can.
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Okay you know what, the more I think about it I think a role reversal au of canon-era OFMD might go really, really hard.
What would've happened if Ed hadn't killed his dad, maybe if things had just gone a little sideways and his dad had died by complete accident first? Ed's fully planning on doing it and watches his drunk dad just slip right into the stormy waters at the pier? He'd still feel guilty, he'd still worry he was a monster for thinking it, but suddenly there's a degree of separation between him and the death. Suddenly it doesn't define him. Suddenly little Ed Teach ends that night by going back home instead of sneaking onto some dingy pirate ship.
And Stede...Stede has such a simmering undercurrent of anger and resentment in him towards the people who have hurt him and made him feel lesser his whole life. I could absolutely see a childhood bullying situation going too far, or his father threatening him with the miserable future canon Stede has ahead, and little Stede not setting out to kill anyone but acting the same way adult Stede did in the pilot, with "pathetic" playing over and over in his head as he finally makes the choice to fight back.
So Stede runs away from home, of course, and becomes a pirate at the same age canon Ed did. And he's good at it in the same way canon Stede is, once he finds his footing, because he's clever and quick-thinking and full of fake-it-till-you-make-it confidence. Meanwhile, Ed is so fucking smart and brilliant, he'd have made it eventually. I have no doubt about that. I can just so see him as this brilliant young professor, tutor to all the rich kids in town, rolling his eyes at all the people who still look down on him for being a poor little brown boy but knowing that he's clawed his way into a better life.
And it's different but they're still not happy by the time they hit their canon ages. Stede's traded the stifling aristocracy for piracy, and he quickly builds up this reputation as this brilliant madman, able to take down rival pirate captains armed only with his brain and the power of just being really emotionally intelligent, and he feels important and respected but he's bored. Everyone sees him and expects the genius madman, and he's trying to build community around him but he worries he's set apart, because there's still this voice in his head telling him he's a soft-handed lily-livered rich boy and he's never been able to shout it down. And Ed's feeling stifled too, because he's successful but he's made a lifetime out of biting his tongue and making himself so small in order to get ahead in this life. He barely knows who he is anymore because he's sanded down all the parts of himself that are playful and enthusiastic and too brown and too earnest so he can be palatable to the rich white circles he's in. He can't be too loud or he's violent and aggressive, he can't make a joke or he's only a joke, and he's made himself dull, he thinks.
Just so fun to think about what they could've looked like in a universe just a bit to the left. And when Ed accepts a research position on a ship traveling across the Caribbean and he's quite sure that's a pirate's flag on that ship in the distance...
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