#i still feel super insecure with posting my writings on here because i know there are still a bunch of mistakes

[lilislegacy]

So here’s the thing: Percy is my guy. I’ll defend him till the day I die. I adore everything about him, and you guys know that. So this post might shock you because I’m about to call the fuck out of him.

I am so SICK of receiving ask after ask after comment after ask about Annabeth being the only goddamn issue in their relationship, meanwhile Percy gets made out to be some saint. You want to call out Percabeth? You want to be all heroic and talk about bad behavior? Allow me to join you! Let’s fucking talk about it!

The number one thing people complain about in their relationship: Annabeth making jokes about his intelligence. But let’s actually talk about this: we all know Percy is extremely intelligent, but why are we so hellbent on denying it when he DOES act like an idiot most of the time? Like, why is Percy saying things like he can’t tie his shoes or phrasing stuff to Annabeth like an 8-year-old when he’s nearly a grown adult? And now tell me this. Why is it always on ANNABETH to translate and explain everything when we know Percy can figure stuff out for himself? Why is it always on ANNABETH to make the plan? Why is it always on ANNABETH to figure out how to fix things that Percy and Grover usually messed up? 

After Wrath of the Triple Goddess, I spent so much time being angry at how Rick wrote Annabeth bossing Percy around. But then I took a step back and realized: it’s because he also writes Percy as always being so heavily reliant on Annabeth when she’s there. Instead of asking, “Why is Annabeth acting like his mom?” why isn’t anyone ever fucking asking, “Why does Annabeth feel like she HAS to act like his mom?” Because she doesn’t act that way with people like Thalia, Jason, or Reyna. So why is her boyfriend putting her in a position where she feels like she has to explain everything to him and tell him what to do?

You know, in The Demigod Diaries, Annabeth says she’s always known Percy isn’t dumb and that he’s actually very intelligent—but that he just ACTS super dumb. Then she says she thinks Percy does it just to annoy her. Annabeth has called Percy smart on several occasions—including one of my favorite moments in MoA where she calls him brilliant and kisses him—and yet she still makes those comments about his intelligence. So considering all that, let's think about it. Have you ever met someone who’s super smart but acts so dumb that they actually convince themselves they’re dumb? It’s infuriating. So imagine how that must feel to a daughter of Athena. And don’t you dare go, “Well, it’s because of Percy’s childhood and his abuse…” because Annabeth is ALSO fucked up from her childhood and suffered from abuse, but that doesn’t ever excuse HER, I guess. So why does Percy get a pass? 

Oh right, I forgot: because we must always blame the woman for “nagging” and “being controlling.” Silly me for forgetting.

It’s ALWAYS “God Annabeth is so controlling all the time” and NEVER “how come Percy puts Annabeth in a position where she always HAS to take charge and keep things under control?” How come he low-key DOES act dumb and useless (and then complains about it) when they both know damn well he can be smart and resourceful when he wants to? Let me guess. “He’s insecure 😔😔.” YEAH, NO SHIT, SHERLOCK. So being insecure makes it all okay? Because Annabeth NEVER gets that benefit of the doubt. Or let me guess, “It’s Rick’s fault for writing him that way” okay cool, well then it’s ALSO Rick’s fault for writing Annabeth the way she is. You don’t get to pick and choose.

(Quick pause—does anyone else feel like Rick finally started writing Percy as a confident, secure, and assertive person in Heroes of Olympus—and found it so refreshing—only for Percy to regress back into his self-hating, insecure 12-year-old self again in the new books? Because it’s infuriating to me that he lost that character development. Anyway… resuming discussion.)

People are always so worried about Percy feeling inferior in their relationship, but never about Annabeth feeling frustrated when Percy doesn't act like the equally contributing partner that she knows he can be (and that he is a lot of the time). I mean, we know from her POV in MoA that Annabeth tends to feel like she has the weight of the world on her shoulders and has to figure things out for everyone else. And that she feels useless sometimes because everyone else, especially Percy, has all these amazing powers, and all Annabeth has to contribute is her knowledge. And yet, when she "shows off" with her intelligence, it's a "superiority complex?"

And another hot topic: Anti-Percabethers are always talking about Annabeth “bullying” and “physically abusing” Percy. (Despite him never feeling pain, flinching, or even expressing an ounce of discontent—in fact after she judo-flipped him, he laughed and smiled). And yet they never seem to want to talk about the fact that Percy has made Annabeth cry and been extremely insensitive to her on several occasions. And you wanna talk about physical violence? Let’s talk about how Sally, Paul, and Annabeth were all extremely nervous and tense when telling Percy that Sally was pregnant. You know why? It’s explained that they’re scared because his temper is brutal and they never know how he’s going to react—because he previously blew out the pipes of the entire apartment building when he got upset about something. How come everybody is SO worried about Annabeth playfully smacking his shoulder and him not caring, but NOBODY wants to talk about the fact that Annabeth is scared of making Percy mad because he can’t fucking control his temper or keep the world around him from blowing up? This is the guy who’s been kicked out of military schools for fighting. This is the guy who’s thrown his skateboard into a wall out of rage. This is the guy who got so mad at a goddess that he got pleasure out of torturing her. I’m not saying he’s wrong for any of that, but I am saying that Annabeth has never once done something like that.

Let’s talk about Piper’s perspective of him. I used to hate Piper because she was critical of Percy, but then I grew up. She is one of the few people who actually gives us an unbiased view of him, and you know what she says? She says she doesn’t know how Annabeth deals with Percy because Annabeth is constantly having to keep him under control. Annabeth keeps him from attacking/yelling at Leo after the canon incident. She has to diffuse his stupid, pointless “who’s is bigger” competition with Jason. She’s not there to keep him from pissing off Bacchus, and Percy rapidly escalates the situation and nearly screws them all over. I mean, in Wrath of the Triple Goddess, she had to tactfully handle him after Grover drank the strawberry potion because Percy was so angry that he was literally shaking (and btw Annabeth had to figure out the plan to fix everything that time, too). When she’s not there, Percy talks back to gods and superiors and gets everyone around him into bad situations with his temper and disobedience. Annabeth CONSTANTLY has to calm him down and keep him from losing his shit. Do you know how exhausting that must be??

So tell me—why is the blame ALWAYS on the woman here? Why is Percy made out to be some poor, abused wittle baby being picked on by big bad Annabeth? He’s a big boy. A grown man now, even. He is the most powerful demigod alive. He can fucking take care of himself, and so can Annabeth.

If you don’t want to like Percabeth? That’s fine. If you don’t want to like Annabeth? That’s fine. But STOP making it out as if Annabeth is the only one who causes problems in their relationship and Percy is completely innocent. Percy is just as bad—arguably worse, actually. Because despite everyone saying how bad Annabeth is to Percy, he never actually gets hurt, scared, or offended by her. Meanwhile, Annabeth HAS cried because of Percy’s words AND has been scared of him and his temper. So… what the FUCK?? How is Annabeth the one being villainized here??

Now, I can actively defend every single thing Percy has done. I love him for his flaws and they make him such a complex character. And I can do and say the same thing about Annabeth, but for some reason that’s “excusing bad behavior.” I love them both and think they are extraordinary people who’ve been dealt really crappy hands. They deal with things the best way that they can in the moment. But they BOTH mess up and hurt each other, and they BOTH have things to work on. They are very flawed characters, and we can point out and discuss those flaws while also being fond of those flaws because it makes them more realistic. 

Now, some of you might be thinking, “Lili, I thought you loved Percy and Percabeth.” I do. I love them so much that I pretty much have a whole blog dedicated to them. But I don’t love them because I think they’re perfect. I love them because, despite being extremely flawed, they make each other better. They love each other unconditionally. They build each other up and protect each other in the darkest of times.

They are best friends. They are battle partners. They are lovers. They are warriors. They are heroes. They are EQUALS. But they are NOT perfect. Not even a little. And their ability to overcome and work through those imperfections together is what makes them so extraordinary.

And yet, when Percy plays dumb, it’s blamed on Rick’s bad writing and excused as him being insecure because of his abuse. When Annabeth calls him out for it and jokes about it, she gets called an awful person who doesn’t value him. And when Percy loses his temper and acts out and gets everyone into bad situations, he’s excused because he inherited Poseidon’s temper and he can’t help it. But when Annabeth is extremely prideful and acts like she’s smarter than other people (which she inherited from Athena) she’s a selfish bitch who thinks she’s better than anyone else? 

How does that make any fucking sense? 

If you want to criticize Percabeth, criticize both of them. But don’t keep doing this “selective reading” bullshit so you can see Annabeth as the villain when she spends half her life cleaning up Percy’s messes and taking care of him. Percy is extraordinary and I adore him, but he is not a “saint” for “dealing with Annabeth.” He is damn lucky to have her, just like she's damn lucky to have him. 

Either be honest about both their flaws and cut it out with the double standards, or don’t bother pretending you care about the truth at all.

[hunn1e-bunn1e]

Ok, I've thought about it for a while and I've decided on what I want to request. This is a mix of angsty/fluffy maybe suggestive so let me know if this is too much but I'm thinking dormleaders from twst x faker reader. By faker I mean reader is always acting suave and they are really flirty, but a lot of the time they are overthinking about how they must be annoying people. (totally not speaking from personal experience) Reader's love language is physical touch so they always want to be cuddling or at least touching somehow. Reader is teasing and then one day their s/o snaps at them for being clingy and that makes reader give up and spiral on how they must be stupid for thinking that their s/o actually liked them. Then reader doesn't talk to their s/o for a while, (lets say 2-3 days, maybe) eventually reader is cornered by their s/o and admits how they feel. Fluff ensues and reader gets to worship and praise their s/o's body like they wanted. Then reader is reassured in their connection with their s/o.

Is that a lot? I feel like it's a lot, I'm so sorry please ignore me if I am overstepping. Thank you so much for even looking at that massive hunk of text and attempting to decipher it.

Well wishes, love - 🕸 anon (Dec 17, 2023)

Dorm Heads - Male Reader Who's Clingy & Flirty To Hide Their Insecurity

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Hey 🕸Spiderweb Anon, It's almost been a year since you sent this to me; I'm so sorry that I've ignored it until now! You probably don't even remember that you sent this in the first place, but I hope I captured what you wanted all that time ago. Sidenote– I took the avoiding part out because they have too much influence in the NRC for you to avoid them, I'm just being realistic here. This post is written in the second person. The lyrics quoted in this one are from the song “Super Shy” by New Jeans. —Benny🐰

WARNINGS ➔ Canon Personality Leona & Vil; They Aren't Very Empathetic in Canon and I'm Tired of Getting Complaints From Anons About How ‘Mean’ They Are in My Writing So There's The Warning

WORD COUNT: 4,301 words

                                                                                                   

❝𝕴'𝖒 𝖘𝖚𝖕𝖊𝖗 𝖘𝖍𝖞, 𝖘𝖚𝖕𝖊𝖗 𝖘𝖍𝖞-- 𝕭𝖚𝖙 𝖜𝖆𝖎𝖙 𝖆 𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖚𝖙𝖊 𝖜𝖍𝖎𝖑𝖊 𝕴 𝖒𝖆𝖐𝖊 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖊, 𝖒𝖆𝖐𝖊 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖊-- 떨리는 지금도 𝖞𝖔𝖚'𝖗𝖊 𝖔𝖓 𝖒𝖞 𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖉 𝖆𝖑𝖑 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖙𝖎𝖒𝖊-- 𝕴 𝖜𝖆𝖓𝖓𝖆 𝖙𝖊𝖑𝖑 𝖞𝖔𝖚, 𝖇𝖚𝖙 𝕴'𝖒 𝖘𝖚𝖕𝖊𝖗 𝖘𝖍𝖞, 𝖘𝖚𝖕𝖊𝖗 𝖘𝖍𝖞~❞

. . .

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🌹  This little British boy is all about doing things in the right place at the right time, but his reaction also depends on his mood and other outliers. Riddle does enjoy it when you give him physical affection and stick close to him, it makes him feel desired and cared for, however, if you do it too often, he'll feel suffocated. As for flirting… I don't think it matters what time you do it, he won’t take it too well. Riddle feels like flirting is very private and depends on the circumstances; plus, he gets embarrassed in intimate situations due to his love-lacking childhood. However, he does like to feel handsome and desirable to you so he won't complain too much; if you're doing it in front of others or in an inappropriate setting, prepare to have a collar around your neck.

🌹  Remember the collar? You're getting collared, but he's channeling his anger in a non-violent way, right? The only way I believe Riddle would snap at you is if you continuously forgot (or ignored) his warnings and reminders about your behavior and how he feels about it. Keep in mind that he considers three times to be continuous. There will be a lot of yelling, his face will resemble a tomato, and you will certainly cry. While he's not as quick to anger as before he overblotted, he still has a pretty short temper and can hold a grudge for quite a long time, so I hope that collar is comfortable. Riddle will eventually remove it, but while he's avoiding you out of disappointment in himself, it won’t be at the top of the list of things to address. And yes, he will run to his therapi– I mean, Trey, for help to fix all of this.

🌹  Riddle… has never been all that good at apologies or accepting that he's in the wrong in the first place, so it'll take him a while to work up the courage and the maturity to apologize to you. He'd probably go and get you from your dorm and drag you off to his own to sit down for tea and awkwardly beat around the bush for a while. But, if you're silent for long enough, he'll push his pride aside and admit he was wrong with how he went about reacting as well as explaining why exactly he got so upset with you. Riddle will set clear boundaries after apologizing for his behavior and will explain the reasons why your actions were unacceptable to him. While he would prefer that you forgive him, he makes it clear that you don't have to and that he needs to work on expressing his irritation in a less harmful way to benefit both of you.

🌹  After sitting down for tea and discussing your insecurity, Riddle would be both incredibly supportive of you and somewhat disappointed that you don't trust that he loves you enough to think you're worthy of him. It breaks his heart that he subconsciously made you feel like you had to act out the way you did. Riddle makes sure to establish that he loves you as you are, insecurity and all. He sets aside time for you two to spend time together and lets you indulge in giving him as much physical affection as you want.

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“Don't pretend to be someone you're not; I like you jus’ as you are when you're yourself. If you want to touch me that's fine; jus’-! jus' do it in a private place... alright, My Rose?”  

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🦁  Leona does not like being clung to or touched often. He prefers it if he's the one to initiate physical contact and affection, it helps him feel more in control. Most times, he doesn't even touch you and only hangs out nearby (which could be inches away to just in the same general vicinity); he just prefers it that way. So, clinging to him, at all really, is a surefire way to piss him off, since he doesn't like the feeling of being restricted or weighted down; especially when he's just waking up, it makes him feel like he's suffocating. Flirting, on the other hand, is sort of a love language in itself for Leona; although his flirting is more on the low-energy side. Since he wants to make his partner feel desired by him he's bad at thinking of gifts and date locations and is too lazy to do acts of service, words of affirmation are his go-to. He doesn't like to do it too often though, or it doesn't feel as meaningful and genuine as he means it to sound.

🦁  Yikes. If he snapped at you… honestly, didn't you deserve it? You must be blind not to notice his discomfort with your actions which he voiced to you a few times. But, hey, maybe you didn't notice; some people can't read the room or other people well, and I don't blame you for that, because I can't either. As a feline, Leona values personal space and control more than most things, and your clinging to him will piss him off quickly. He can usually keep his mood in check, but all it takes is one bad day and you do that will 100% end in him taking all his pent-up irritation out on you. He'll most likely say some hurtful stuff in his fit of anger and won't see you for a few days. Leona might even ban you from his dorm for those few days if he's pissed enough; he doesn't want to feel like the bad guy, so he won't acknowledge that he is for a bit.

🦁  Honestly? Leona is the type of person who gets over stuff after a few hours to a few days and expects you to do the same. If you don't and you bring it up again, he'll likely hit you with the ‘That was so long ago and you aren't over it yet?’. However, he'll get it into his head that he may have seriously hurt your feelings if he sees any drastic changes in your behavior. Things like avoiding him, not speaking to him, cowering away from him, flinching, ending the conversation when you see him nearby, and leaving the room after he enters. But what gets Leona bad, is if he sees that he made you cry. When I tell you that this man will be on his knees after seeing just the reddening of your eyes I'm not joking. He didn't think he upset you that bad before but now, he's groveling for your forgiveness, because he knows that you're the only person that's willing to put up with his shit on top of loving you more than the air he breathes each day.

🦁  Leona will treat you like royalty after he apologizes, explaining that while he doesn't like being touched he'll indulge you now and then because he knows you just want to show him how much you love him. He'll also do his best to dispel all of your insecurities and remind you that it's not you that doesn't deserve him, but him that doesn't deserve you. Although Leona isn't the best person in Twisted Wonderland, he'll try his best for you.

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“HEY- GET OFF! –Oh shit, no no no, I didn’t mean to make ya cry. M’sorry, I just got startled ‘n’ today has been shit, so I took it out on ya in the end. Nakupenda, Wangu*; ya know that doncha?”  

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🐙  This one's hard… while I want to say that Azul would greatly appreciate your affection toward him and his body; we also have to take into account his issues with his self-image. Going by that– I don't think that he would like it if you touched him very often. The problem wouldn't be that he's uncomfortable, embarrassed, or annoyed, but that he doesn't want you to touch him and then feel disgusted with how his body is shaped. Like you're insecure about whether you're worthy of him, he's insecure about if he's worthy of you. The flirting, though, he wouldn't mind too much. Azul loves your praise, as it means that you find him attractive enough to talk to him that way. This poor man has such serious body issues that it's ridiculous, so if you flirt with him too often, he won't think it's genuine anymore and that you're making fun of him.

🐙  With Azul it's probably just a spur-of-the-moment outburst mixed with his stress and insecurity type of thing. In absolutely no way did he mean to direct this outburst at you, you just happened to be the straw that broke the camel's back, and like a shell on the beach, all his reason was swept away by the tide. He's the kind of guy who bottles all of his stress and grievances and your actions happened to make him reach his breaking point and everything just came out all at once. Azul likely just yelled at you to leave him be and get out of his office; fleeing to his octopot in regretful tears once you left the room and not coming out for days until he could get himself together again. He had to be coaxed into eating by Jade and Floyd due to how bad he felt for blowing up on you.

🐙  This man is distraught; he is beside himself with grief, regret, and shame. It takes all of Azul's willpower and the somewhat aggressive coaxing of the tweels (mostly Floyd threatening to bite off one of his tentacles and send it to you as an apology gift) to get him to finally leave the safety and comfort of his octopot and go to knock on your door. As soon as that door opens, he goes full-on into apologizing profusely and explaining that while what you did irritated him a bit he in no way meant to direct all of his pent-up stress toward you and that your actions just happened to open the floodgates for him. Azul would be in tears by the time he finished speaking, praying that you wouldn't leave him because of this incident. If you forgive him, he cries in relief and if you don't, although he's sad, he understands and promises that he'll do everything in his power to win back your trust in him and make sure that this never happens again.

🐙  Azul will explain to you about his insecurity with his body and his fear of making you dislike him and his appearance. However, once he hears about your insecurities, he's kind of shocked; he was so caught up in his own self-loathing that he didn't even notice yours! Be assured that Jade locked you both in his office and didn't let you both out until you worked out a plan to condole the both of you of your worth to each other. You and Azul had fallen asleep in each other's arms by the time Floyd remembered that you were being held captive in there and opened the door. He took blackmail photos.

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“Øjesten*, I… I apologize for my outburst; I'm just- I don’t like- ahem… ah… I have no excuse. You know how I feel about my appearance, I just didn’t want you to be disgusted with me. I’m sorry.”  

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👑  Vil lives for being appreciated. Whether it's through actions, words, objects, services, or just being admired; he loves it! However… there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. He loves you, but damn, he barely had any time to himself before getting with you, but now? It's not that he won't make time for you, he definitely tries, but he just has so much on his plate all the time. With managing his beauty routine, the dorm and its students, school work, modeling, singing, acting, keeping up his media appearances, and his one-sided rivalry with Neige, this man is BUSY. And that's not even mentioning the overblots that keep popping up out of nowhere; sorry hun, you're just going to have to squeeze in when you can or be okay with stopping yourself at just being near him as a way of spending time until he can fix his schedule. On the subject of flirting, though… yeah, don't even bother, but at the same time, yes, compliment him. Vil, being himself, has heard pretty much every compliment, praise, and risqué remark under the sun; you need to be very creative, or he'll probably just roll his eyes at you. If you do it too often, he'll get annoyed and probably ask if you have something better to do.

👑  Okay— I’m just going to cut this off right here- Vil is the type of person to set his boundaries with you immediately, so, at the very start of the relationship, you would know what to do and what not to do. However, if you end up doing it anyway (which would likely just be you forgetting about it or you're so stressed that it left your mind momentarily), there lies the problem.  If you did it after Vil already initially told you he didn’t like it the first time, he would just stop you, explain why he doesn’t want you to do it, and ask you to remember it for next time. Another thing- this man is a confident king (after his overblot), so he can smell your insecurity from a mile away. It will be addressed by him PERIOD. There is no way out of it- it WILL happen, I'm sorry. Either your insecurity will be gone quickly or your relationship will; it's one or the other, I implore you to just cooperate with him. Vil isn’t playing these games with you right now.

👑  I mentioned it earlier, but Vil will sit you down and address your insecurity with him; he's not the type of person to just let this issue go unsolved. Given his insecurity, however, he'll be very understanding of how you feel. The feeling of being less than others is something that Vil is familiar with, so he’ll do everything in his power to make you feel better about yourself.

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“I’ll make this clear, Mein schönste Liebe*, there’s no need for this little show you’re putting on. I don’t have a lot of patience, so quickly, tell me what the problem is so that I can fix it.”  

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🪲  You're giving him more affection than usual? Sign Kalim the hell up! He loves it when you hold onto him and give him physical affection! Do you want to sit on his lap? Sure! Do you want to hang off his arm or wrap your own around his waist? Okay! Kisses and hugs? Absolutely! As for flirting, I don't think that he is too innocent to understand what you mean, but that he doesn't get it until five minutes to an hour later. A lot of times, Kalim will suddenly realize what you meant when the conversation subject has already shifted to a completely different topic. However, he has no issues with it, since he believes that flirting is just an extension of complimenting him; it's just worded in a more risqué way.

🪲  I’m going to be completely honest with you here, this boy is too kind and non-confrontational to snap at you at all, so it just wouldn't happen. If he did have an issue with your behavior he’d most likely just sit you down and explain what exactly he needed you to change and why. Kalim will leave no room for misunderstandings at all, so there would be no way to hurt feelings on either side. The only person who would possibly be upset in the situation is probably you, but that would only be because you have to find another way to cope with your unspoken insecurity. Kalim isn't the brash type, so I can’t see him losing his temper with you at any point unless you committed a heinous action or something.

🪲  Kalim would probably still apologize even if all he did was explain some things to you, he’s a person who’s very in tune with other people’s feelings, so he’d make sure that your relationship was still good after everything. He’d bring you to his room and cuddle you on his huge plush bed, covered in the smoothest blankets and softest pillows, letting you touch, feel, and compliment him all you want- but only if you let him do the same to you. Probably also ask Jamil (poor Jamil, give him a vacation) to make you both some snacks or something, Kalim won't let his baby be hungry.

🪲  You will not be forced to talk about your insecurity, but Kalim will heavily encourage it for the sake of your mental health and the stability of trust in your relationship. He wants to wait until you're comfortable enough, but he also doesn't want to wait for too long in case there's a repeat of this incident. There's also now a big concern in his heart that he made you feel like you couldn't be yourself or made you feel like you aren't enough at some point. It will eat Kalim up inside, so he'll become overly indulgent with you for some time until you sit him down and talk about it. He just doesn't want you to feel like he's being neglectful of your emotions and well-being again.

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“Aiyah, Rohi*, I wasn’t trying to be mean, I promise. I love you so so so much; but sometimes, even a guy like me needs a little alone time, that’s all. I would never dislike you for such a small thing.”  

 🔱•♡•🔱•♡•🔱•♡•🔱•♡•🔱•♡•🔱•♡•🔱•♡•🔱

💀  Eh… Idia is a very very insecure guy, but he's also incredibly antisocial and is used to being all by his lonesome besides his little brother. He likes his personal space a whole lot more than he realizes, so, to be truthful, the clinginess isn't something that will sit well with him after he has experienced it one too many times. It's mostly because it'll happen at times when he's preoccupied with something that requires a lot of his attention; like gaming, watching anime, or reading manga/lite novels, and he gets irritable when he's interrupted. On the side of excessive flirting, however, he'll dislike it not just because he thinks you aren't being genuine; but also because the topic makes him uncomfortable. As mentioned already, Idia is not a social person, thus being on the receiving end of something like that is way out of his comfort zone. Doing it excessively will only make him even more uncomfortable, as he thinks that you don't care about his feelings on the matter when it's obvious he dislikes it.

💀  Idia is a quiet, shy, and non-confrontational guy, however, his annoyance can quickly overpower all of that if it builds long enough. Once he's reached the end of his patience, he doesn't bother to be careful and think about what he says. It's most likely that instead of targeting your appearance or status, he'll go for the things that you're most sensitive about. Keep in mind that during all of this, he's absent-minded; his mind doesn't register exactly who he's talking to and what he's saying before he opens his mouth while his eyes continue to stare at whatever he is doing on his monitor setup beforehand. However, once Idia realizes just what he said to you he's in absolute shock at himself; yes, he'd expect himself to behave that way to other people, but to you? He would never do it intentionally… Honestly, though, he'd be more upset that you aren't comfortable enough to act like yourself around him than anything else.

💀  Similar to Azul, Idia regrets his words immediately; he beats himself up about it as well. How the hell did those sparky comments he had in his head slip through his lips? He thought he had more self-control than that! Seriously though, the first thing he does after he realizes that he said all of that outlook is call you. When and if you don't pick up, he sends you a few texts apologizing straightforwardly and explaining that he was upset about a lot of things and took it out as well as the fact that he's on his way to your dorm to speak with you in person. Once Idia's at your door and when and if you open up, he'll hug you and profusely apologize, likely putting himself down as well so that he can hurt himself as he did you. It's up to you if you want to stop him, but just know that the self-depreciation with continue to ratchet up in severity as time goes on; his insecurity and self-doubt will be on full display to you to let you know that you can show him too.

💀  You know how Idia does online classes or stays in his dorm and uses his tablet instead? You can do that too! The both of you can attend class remotely and cuddle while you do your class work or listen to lectures. He can lay his head in your lap while he's watching anime or reading his novels and he can sit you in his lap while he's gaming. Surprisingly though, Idia even suggests going out and visiting cat cafes together or going to a secluded place outside and listening to an audiobook. He's willing to change up his routine and step out of his comfort zone to make sure you know how much he loves you. He would do anything for you– well… almost anything, just give him a bit more time to work up the willpower.

🔱•♡•🔱•♡•🔱•♡•🔱•♡•🔱•♡•🔱•♡•🔱•♡•🔱

“I… You know that I know what It's like to feel… like you're not enough. You don't– Y‐you know you don't have to pretend with me right? You can just be yourself when it's the two of us, P-psychí Mou*.”  

 🐉•♡•🐉•♡•🐉•♡•🐉•♡•🐉•♡•🐉•♡•🐉•♡•🐉

🐲  It depends on the place, the amount of people nearby who those people are, and his mood. As you know Malleus craves to be included, acknowledged, seen, and just to be given affection. This man is touch-starved to the max– but… he is still the prince of Briar Valley and must display a certain appearance to those who aren't close to or familiar with him. He'll allow small displays of affection out of the cover of his or your dorm room; things like holding hands, holding onto his forearm as you walk, briskly kissing each other's hands or cheeks, laying your heads on the other's shoulder, and other small but loving gestures. As long as you keep the more intimate actions away from prying eyes it's fine. As for flirting, Malleus also doesn't mind, but the same rules still apply. So long as you don't repeatedly show too much to those he doesn't wish to show your relationship to, he's happy as a dragon swimming in gold.

🐲  Malleus isn't the type of guy to snap at others, he confronts conflicts head-on if they pose an issue. However, if you do irritate him enough, he'll likely tell you that the both of you will have to take some time apart while he thinks about your relationship and what it means to the both of you. For him, crossing the boundaries that he has set is a violation of trust, respect, and understanding, and he needs to evaluate whether or not you're taking his thoughts, opinions, and feelings seriously. During your break, Malleus will avoid you, he'll greet you in the halls with a nod and carry on, there will be hardly a drop of affection from him until he's thought. He loves you, but for him, relationships are a very serious thing, and if you aren't respecting his boundaries, does he want to stay in a relationship with you?

🐲  He's not apologizing as there was no real wrongdoing on his part. However, if you felt hurt by his actions, he would calmly sit you down and carefully explain why he did them and follow that up by telling you that he felt hurt by your actions and he expects an explanation from you as well. Malleus is a patient and forgiving man, his life will stretch on for centuries and you and the relationship that the both of you have is a small but unforgettable part of that life. He doesn't want memories of a relationship with poor trust and communication between the participating parties; it just isn't worth it for him. Once you and Malleus have everything laid out on the table, he'll ask you to make sure to remember what he told you and that if you ever feel insecure in the future, simply talk with him and he'll talk you through it.

🐲  After you're very civil and diplomatic discussion of the ins and outs of your relationship, Malleus writes up a plan for the both of you. He lists the things that you both aren't comfortable with as well as things that you require and reworks his and your daily schedule around it. He does address your insecurity though, apologizing for making you feel like you aren't enough for him and making you feel like your relationship isn't important. Malleus loves you very deeply, and he wants to make sure that the two of you stay together in a happy relationship for as long as possible. He wants you to be a part of his family for as long as you love him, so he'll compromise as much as he needs to.

🐉•♡•🐉•♡•🐉•♡•🐉•♡•🐉•♡•🐉•♡•🐉•♡•🐉

“I have made you feel as though you cannot be your true self at some point in our union and that won't do at all. You are Mon Raison D'être, without you, I do not have the will to carry on, I beg for your forgiveness.”  

 . . .

❝𝕴'𝖒 𝖘𝖚𝖕𝖊𝖗 𝖘𝖍𝖞, 𝖘𝖚𝖕𝖊𝖗 𝖘𝖍𝖞-- 𝕭𝖚𝖙 𝖜𝖆𝖎𝖙 𝖆 𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖚𝖙𝖊 𝖜𝖍𝖎𝖑𝖊 𝕴 𝖒𝖆𝖐𝖊 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖊, 𝖒𝖆𝖐𝖊 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖊-- 떨리는 지금도 𝖞𝖔𝖚'𝖗𝖊 𝖔𝖓 𝖒𝖞 𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖉 𝖆𝖑𝖑 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖙𝖎𝖒𝖊-- 𝕴 𝖜𝖆𝖓𝖓𝖆 𝖙𝖊𝖑𝖑 𝖞𝖔𝖚, 𝖇𝖚𝖙 𝕴'𝖒 𝖘𝖚𝖕𝖊𝖗 𝖘𝖍𝖞, 𝖘𝖚𝖕𝖊𝖗 𝖘𝖍𝖞~❞

 *¹ ‘Nakupenda, Wangu’ translates from Swahili to mean ‘I love you, Mine’ with ‘Mine’ being a possessive term of endearment usually accompanying a sentence like ‘I love you’, though it can be used by itself.

*² ‘Øjesten’ roughly translates from old-fashioned Danish to mean ‘The apple of my eye’.

*³ ‘Mein schönste Liebe’ translates from German to mean ‘My Most Beautiful Love’, though if you took off the last word, ‘My Most Beautiful’ can still stand on its own as a term of endearment.

*⁴ ‘Rohi’ translates from Arabic to mean ‘My Soul Mate’; calling someone ‘Rohi’ means that you love them longer than your life as they are your soulmate.

*⁵ ‘Psychí mou’ translates from Greek to mean ‘My Soul’’

*⁶ ‘Ma Raison D’être’ translates from French to mean ‘My Reason for Being’ which is usually used only to express the deepest love and passion.

🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.

Reblogs are appreciated ~ 𔓘

Wanna see similar content? Check out my Masterlist!

[pressplay-if]

Anon who brought up a possible air of resentment: I get what you're saying and I definitely don't want you to lose your joy in creating. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. And I do recognize that I have no idea what it's like in your inbox and what it might be like to see all of that so relentlessly. It does sound exhausting and I'm sure it's frustrating.

And I don't want to downplay that IF readership can be very parasocial and very demanding, and I want to affirm that that's not right.

I'm still very excited to see how your story develops. It's clear it's very dear to you and it's very dear to many of us as well, even if what makes it dear might not always line up.

If your inbox is weighted toward what exhausts you, what could readers send or say that would be more encouraging for you?

Honestly nonnie thank you so much for this, I needed to hear that my efforts at communication aren't failing entirely right now. I really appreciate you seeing my standpoint.

As for your question, it honestly made me realize that my entire inbox sort of exhausts me lately. Don't get me wrong, I get a ton of asks that are SO awesome, I try to answer as many as I can but despite my efforts, I currently have a queue of 395. I'm sure other authors have a bigger one (insert dick joke here) but it's just a lot. A recent highlight was all of the people who wished me happy birthday, that was so sweet! And then there's the crowd who talks about their experiences with mental health, which I often find to personal to post but really appreciate a LOT because it reminds me how many people share the same difficulties as I did. There are also a lot of very sweet and funny RO-centric asks, but some of those I don't answer just because I can't think of sth witty to say right off the bat.

In short, I like just about every ask I get that isn't super explicit or demanding or strikes me that way. But these boundaries are getting harder and harder to define, and I feel as though it stresses me out a bit, this whole interaction thingy... I don't know.

Your question helped me realize that perhaps I want to shut down anon or my askbox entirely for a little while. I feel as though that might curb my productivity right now, especially since the update is so close and I really don't want to be stressed/insecure around this time! The update is another big step for me, it's so branchy and exhaustive and I'm so proud of it, you know? But my confidence in my writing is a volatile thing.

Maybe I should freeze asks until the update is out, then open up again to receive feedback, bugs, typos and general merriment lol.

[yuujispinkhair]

Do you think Sukuna would be attracted to you even if you were ugly? Ive noticed one of the conditions is that people have for writing sukuna x reader fixs is that they're always stunning, perfect, socially flawless and if they are messy its im a very socially acceptable way, and just always loved. It's just not realistic for me. Im autistic, not conventionally attractive, fat in all the wrong places, and have no ass (which ever character supposedly has for some reason) . I dont feel represented at all by any of the fics i read. Do you have any tips for how I you handle this? Or should i just suck it up and accept that even in fandom women have to be written perfect and cannot just be women withour beauty?

Im sorry if this is something relaly heavy to talk about, feel free to dismiss this if its the case. But also, thank you for your time friend! ❤️

Aaaaah don't worry, I know what you mean and I can relate. If Reader is super confident and pretty and practically a sex goddess, I can never see myself in her. I still enjoy all kinds of Readers, though, because it can be fun to imagine myself as someone else, who is super confident etc, but I can relate a lot more to the insecure and inexperienced Readers, so those will always have a special place in my heart 💗 There are definitely fics out there with that type of Reader, so please don't give up.

And as for your question, whether I think Sukuna would be attracted to someone who isn't hot or popular etc: YES 100%!!

I think that all the JJK characters I write for are people who don't care about looks or popularity. Yuuji liked Ozawa the most out of everyone in his class, because he liked all the small things she did, and Yuuji saw beauty in those, and it genuinely never occurred to him that someone would judge her for her weight or her looks. Megumi outright told Todo that he doesn't have a certain type when it comes to looks, but instead is attracted to people who have unwavering humanity. Sukuna is in canon, someone who is seen as a monster with his unusual power and his extra limbs and his disfigured face. I really don't think he would ever judge someone by their looks, when he himself was treated this way.

I also always imagine my versions of modern Sukuna to be the type of guy who goes for the outcasts, the girls who get called weird and ugly and never seem to fit in, because Sukuna also never fits in, no matter how popular he technically is in the current AU I am writing. (I know I started to write a more detailed post about this a while ago. If I can find it, I will publish it.)

I am sending you lots of love 💗 And please don't let yourself get discouraged. There are fics out there with insecure and unpopular Readers and all kinds of body types etc.

Also, maybe it will help you to create a selfship for you and Sukuna. That way it is really YOU and of course he loves you the way you are 💗 Be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to imagine this. Maybe write down how the two of you meet and some headcanons about what your life together looks like. Maybe make a playlist for the two of you or a moodboard.

Here is a song that I think fits perfectly for Sukuna and an insecure partner:

(I have it on my Sukuna x Winter playlist, too and it makes me super emotional. It's like I can hear him say to me "Don't talk shit about the girl I love", anytime I put myself down in front of him. I think that's so very him 💗) I hope it can give you comfort, too! Maybe it can be the first song on your selfship playlist with Kuna.

[lilxmoo]

Aurora Cycle Poetic Essay Series Pt 2 - Scarlett Jones

Part two is here :) my girl was quite hard to write for, but I love her so much more after this!!

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

Scarlett Isobel Jones has no mother. Neither does her twin, Tyler. But this is different for her, affects her more than it ever affects Tyler. Because her brother has their father. Tyler Jericho Jones was named after their father - Scarlett, as far as we know, was named after no one. Tyler had an image to lead him. Scarlett had nothing.

This results in Scarlett carving her own identity, away from any pre-perceived expectations. She dyes her hair, she makes her own friends, she finds solace and comfort in men and in her best friend, rather than old photos and medals. Scarlett has no metal ring around her neck, which, as mentioned in part one, represents Jericho Jones' legacy. Instead, she gets her own necklace, telling her to Go with Plan B. Scarlett has her own necklace, telling her to create a second path and follow it, rather than one that was pre-planned.

Surprisingly, her hair dye is symbolic of her carving her own path. Tyler is represented by colors of blue and yellow, sunshine and oceans. Blue eyes, blonde hair, same as Jericho. Scarlett has her blue eyes, connecting her to her family and her brother, a feature of herself that she can never erase, forever showing the bond between her and Tyler. But she has removed that gold. Instead, the bright, fiery red of her hair disguises herself. It is bright enough to distract from her face and her identity, to instead look at the colorful choices she makes. Scarlett builds herself on her actions, rather than her character, and she consistently expects the same of others.

Scarlett is afraid of herself and her roots. She does not feel clever, or helpful, or intelligent. She has deeply hidden insecurities and especially, she feels incredibly inadequate at all the skills Tyler excels at. But her journey follows her finding herself through helping others. Forging her own path through the process of helping those around her and reminding them of what is special about themselves, and her good graces finding her in return. Her constant searching and distraction from what ails her - her lack of "skill" - she tried to remedy through years of feeling connection through men. It is only once she is isolated from that comfort, once her best friend is dead, and once Tyler is gone, Scarlett is forced to look at her path instead of distracting herself from it. And by the end of her story, her mind is not the yellow of Tyler's, or the yellow of the Face logo, or even blue of her eyes, where she was born - it is the fiery red of her own hair, the hair she chose to adorn.

And here is where I list random things I love about my girl :)

Her anger is so clearly coming from love?? She's not bitter like Kal, or spiteful like Cat, every time she gets mad you can just feel the empathy and pain that caused that reaction :(

"Why be normal when you can be interesting instead?"

I know for sure she was in a full face of makeup the whole journey and HELL YEAH THATS MY QUEEN

I said this in another post, but I really love how she's never slut shamed :)

Whenever she does anything, really, I'm that one clip of Lady Gaga saying; "Talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before-"

As an older sister myself.....*starts crying*

She never has that super cringe moment of, "I'm a girl, I wear heels, AND I'LL KICK YOUR BUTT" like no!! She's a girl who wears heels and absolutely hates her current situation, and every time she's brave, she absolutely hates it because she's still scared!! So human and much better writing

The way she's a big sister to everyone!!! Zila and Auri are her girls, and she gives Kal the "how to date a girl" talk! So cute

Her response to her Dad's death is so complex and we truly don't discuss it enough :( she's angry at him but she mourns him, she thought the way he died was stupid, but she respects him for it. She doesn't think he was a great man, but she misses her Daddy. My sweet, grieving girl :(

And that's my post for Scarlett!! I hope you like it :) I learnt more about our queen than I thought making this! I hope you don't think I talked about the men in her life too much - I was trying to emphasize her struggle with her identity and how strong those bonds affect her, not their importance over her character :)

[poppitron360]

Ok so in another post I talked about all the reasons why Valzhang is better than Caleo, and I wanted to do one on Valgrace as well (lmk if this should become a series).

Bear in mind I am only on HoH- I haven’t read all of the Caleo bits yet, but I know she ain’t gonna treat him right.

I was originally SUPER sceptical about Valgrace (“I ship them platonically” “Jason is the Token Straight Friend”) and while I don’t think it was ever cannon I 100% THINK IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN.

Seriously, my eyes have been opened to Valgrace, to the point where the fanfic I’m writing about them currently clocks in at around 5,934 words.

I am OBSESSED. It is a PROBLEM.

And some of the fanarts/fanfics of them are SO CUTE I COULD DIE- it was hard NOT to ship them after reading some of y’all’s stuff. Keep up the good work.

Anyway buckle up ‘cause I’m ‘bouta write a whole dam essay on this.

1. The whole appeal of Jason Grace’s character is that he sees through your insecurities and lifts you up because he is too pure for this world. So narratively speaking, why is he with the most stable character? Yeah, Piper’s got issues, but compared to the others? She’s doing pretty well for herself. I mean, her parents are ALIVE!! Wouldn’t it just make more sense, narratively speaking, to put Jason with the MOST insecure character??? He can support Leo, help him in his arc, and it would give Jason a time to shine by highlighting his best qualities.

2. Throughout most of the books, Jason is the ONLY ONE who actually consistently sees through Leo’s mask. Everyone else’s POV of Leo is “Haha Leo said something funny and goofy and we’re all trying to be serious here, Leo. Gods, he’s soooo annoying!”, whereas Jason’s POV is like “Jason could see that Leo was desperately trying to keep it together for the good of the group, and he thought that was noble and brave and good and kind and awesome.” Like I said above, he’s able to lift Leo up because he sees him, and knows him. Something Calypso never did. There are several interactions, during TLH particularly, where Jason is just like “Hey, Leo? You are great. You are awesome. You have saved our lives multiple times. Whatever just went wrong, it wasn’t your fault. Stop beating yourself up about everything. You are a valued and respected member of this team. I love and appreciate you.” And Leo still puts up those walls with the jokes and the sarcastic remarks, and Jason is nothing but patient with him. Calypso was never like that.

3. I can’t find the line in the book, but there’s a bit in HoH where Jason’s worrying about the “To Storm or Fire, the World must fall” line in the prophecy, and he says words to the effect of “I like living, but I’d rather I die than Leo, anyway horses-” and seriously?? Rick missed a trick by not making them a couple. There is WAY more potential for angst if there’s that romantic feeling involved, knowing one of them is going to die, and both being willing to sacrifice themselves for one another like this is “Merchant of Venice” or something (I will explain the obscure Shakespeare reference in the comments). Calypso would never give up her LIFE for Leo, and Leo would only give up his because she’s hot.

4. Okay, most of this is copy-pasted from my post about Valzhang, but it still applies, and it applies to them maybe more so. They get so much more time together to establish a meaningful relationship. Their arc carries over all five books, and we get to form connections as a reader to them both, so the payoff is a lot more satisfying. Unlike Calypso, Jason is his own character separately, and not just an add-on to Leo’s arc. Their friendship is a key focus in their chapters, and a key point in their character development, as Jason is the first person Leo ever opens up to about his mom. When Calypso showed up, Leo had already gone through that journey of letting down those walls, so it was a lot less meaningful. They had little to no time to develop a relationship, and we never get a chance to care about Calypso as a person. She’s just kind of a plot point for Leo/Percy’s own development, and never her own character.

5. What separates Leo and Calypso from the other relationships in the series is that they were not written for each other. Frank and Hazel? Written for each other. Jason and Piper? Written for each other. Percy and Annabeth? FUCKING WRITTEN TO BE TOGETHER FOREVER. Cal was brought in during BoTL to cockblock Percabeth, and then Rick realised Leo “needed” a girlfriend, so picked her. But you know what two characters were written to be best friends right from the get-go? Like literally it’s established in the first couple pages of the first book? Jason and Leo. Much like how Valzhang were always meant to be rivals, Jason and Leo were always meant to be best friends.

6. Like I said in the last post, Leo doesn’t NEED a girlfriend. He can heal his trauma with friends and found family, learning to love and accept himself, learning that he doesn’t actually need the attention of a hot girl to be valid. Jason is the best person to help him on that journey, seeing as how his character thrives in uplifting others. The only person who ever loved Leo unconditionally died when he was eight. His blood relatives abandoned him, and he clearly wasn’t treated very well in the foster homes. He constantly feels like he has to work to prove he’s earned his place among the Seven because for him, family has never been a guarantee. Jason cares for Leo even when he’s fucked up, even when he’s a crying mess on the floor, even when he feels most like he doesn’t deserve to be cared for. Leo thinks he needs the attention of a hot girl to give him validation. What he really needs is to find a place among his brethren- and Jason offers him that place.

So, kids, that was it for today’s edition of “Why Literally Any Ship Is Better Than Caleo”. Tune in next time for our fav ✨trauma twinsies✨ Valdangelo!

[emilydorp]

Heyyy, I’ve been wondering about something that’s really been on my mind, has T.O.P ever been jealous of Lee Soohyuk because of how close he is with GD?

Like, I know GD and Soohyuk are super tight and all, but honestly, I never got that same romantic vibe between them the way I do with GTOP, even though a lot of people ship GD and Soohyuk too.

Maybe it’s just my inner GTOP shipper talking, but I genuinely don’t feel anything beyond friendship between GD and Soohyuk.

Also, isn’t it crazy how Soohyuk and Seunghyun kinda look alike? Like GD has a very specific type or something, It’s almost like Soohyuk is T.O.P’s clone lol.

Anyway, I know I’m probably just rambling, but do you think T.O.P was (or still is) lowkey jealous of Soohyuk?? 👀🩷

Hiiiiii.. the way I despise, DESPISE GHyuk shippers, ugh. Well umm, rant over, time to start my explanation (more like rambling mess tbh, GHyuk makes me a little more unprofessional + I just lost my mind tryna understand Tabi’s eyebrow scar).

Anony, I’ve said this on my blog before, I kinda don’t wanna talk about GHyuk because they’re something I can never pin down. But for you, I’ll spill the beans a bit more (and cuz I’m pretty sure this is the third time someone asked me about them, people clearly are interested in my opinion on their ship).

In the deepest depths of heart, I believe that Ji would never pursue a relationship with SHyuk, but just cuz you don’t wanna date someone, doesn’t mean you can’t mess around with them, especially since SHyuk’s sexuality is a bit less up for debate, everyone agrees he isn’t straight, and yeh SHyuk resembles Seunghyun and that’s probably physically Ji’s taste in men (tall and muscular, with a sharp jawline and strong facial features, he’s just a girl y’all.. also he KNOWS they look the same, he liked a post of the two of them next to each other, you have to be blind to not notice the uncanny resemblance) (not personality wise tho, I don’t think SHyuk fits that, but I have pretty limited knowledge on him). There, that’s what I think of them, Jiyong doesn’t romantically love SHyuk, and I believe the only possibly real part of GHyuk is likely that SHyuk might (emphasis on *might*) be interested in Ji. But even that’s up for debate.. but Ji’s non-interest in romantically being with SHyuk is pretty much clear to me.

I’m not gonna bring up all the receipts I have of SHyuk’s potential feelings being unrequited, I’ll mention a few here (SHyuk using the caption “My Superstar” for a picture with Jibby while GD was probably writing a song for SEUNGHYUN since he was wearing the blue bracelets and working imo, or at least he was thinking of Seunghyun, not to mention how “my superstar” are lyrics in R.O.D and I really do think he wrote it for Seunghyun (Ji even emphasised that the muse for the song wasn’t a woman lulz), a video of SHyuk STARING Ji down like crazy even after Ji started dating Seunghyun again I think? (it was 2013 is all I remember, and GTOP’s relationship status is different according to the month), Seunghyun unfollowing SHyuk after GHyuk went to a Kubricks exhibition (but I really don’t think Seunghyun was genuinely jealous, or that anything happened, I think it was more of Seunghyun expressing himself to Ji rather than being jealous of SHyuk), his entire loyalty to Ji and going to sooo many places with him (which could be friendly, I shall not judge), his “jealousy” and quite bitter reaction to being friendzoned in ‘Good Day’, what was even that “presentation” of GHyuk’s friendship on TV for SHyuk’s birthday?? I never got any damn context for why SHyuk did that??, blah blah blah, but just TODAY SHyuk gave me the best DELULULU receipt I could’ve asked for; using f-cking ‘THIS LOVE’ to show Ji’s gift (after Ji potentially used the lyrics about insecurity in love from Drama while picking our a gift for SHyuk), lmfaoooooo, it’s literally about loving someone in a relationship, SHyuk I am too delulu for this, why are you making me this delulu). And then Ji sings This Love backstage. On the same day. Bruhhhh.

Meanwhile GD liked this post either yesterday or today (I’m bringing this one up, cuz it’s song vs. song vs. song rn in delulu land):

So umm in conclusion: Tabi is possessive, not because he thinks Ji is gonna fall in love with someone else, he’s just really possessive. I highly doubt he’d ever regard SHyuk as a genuine threat to his relationship with Jiyong. He’s even stated that he was “jealous” of YB during a Japan fanmeet.. he doesn’t see him as a threat, ofc not YB’s in a relationship, but Tabi’s just possessive.

[according2thelore]

Do you know what just occurred to me about the Ls/es verse? And I don’t know if you’ve written this- but like. LsDean is obviously hilariously jealous. Everyone is jealous of everyone here. And he’s super jealous about the care lssams face, and the possibility of sex, and everything. But like. Can you imagine esdean making lssam laugh? Like? Hysterically. The huge belly laughs that aren’t even easy to get out of essaam- Sam’s never laughed too easy. But lssam? You get smiles and chuckles. You don’t get that huge laughter anymore. Not for years. And just watching/walking in on. Esdean cracking up lssam? Holy shit. Murderous rage. Crippling insecurity. Just. Peak peak jealousy and hatred for himself. I’m not entirely sure lsdean wouldn’t take a swing.

GAH!!!! reporting this post to a trusted adult!!!

i absolutely had to write this--your mind...it's too big...

dean hears it when he's coming in from the garage.

his feet turn and begin a pilgrimage before he can even think about it, drawn to that sound like he's sure vultures have been drawn to the smell of carrion for millennia.

as he gets closer, it registers.

laughter. sam's laughter. his sammy's laughter. the voice is deep, booming, too low for sam's 2006 voice. disbelief and something that feels vaguely like nausea makes dean's stomach twist as he picks up his pace.

he finds them in the laundry room.

"that was the worst line i've ever heard" sam sputters between bouts of--dean rounds the corner, and yes, it is. laughter. raucous, side-splitting, freeing laughter.

sam howls again, loud, long peals of laughter bursting from him as he has to hold himself up on the washing machine.

young dean is laying a few feet away from him in a puddle of spilled laundry detergent, goopy blue sludge slipping under his palms as he props himself up. he looks up at sammy like sammy has created the earth, like sammy is the first human person he's seen in a decade. his eyes are wide, adoring, the ghost of a smile on his own lips as if to sip from sam's joy, mouth twitching in small movements around nothing as he tries and fails to come up with words.

sammy's head is thrown back.

dean's breath catches in his throat when sam tilts forward, laughing so hard that he's holding onto his stomach. his hair falls into his face.

he looks younger. decades younger. he looks like when dean--running on two hours of sleep and three skin-of-the-teeth hunts--had glued the slide of his gun to his hand when he mistook a bottle of gorilla glue for the gun oil. he looks like when he was six, rolling around crying because dean had tickled him.

dean hasn't been able to make him laugh like this in...

something shriveled and angry and mean contracts in dean's stomach.

dean wants to go over and slam his younger self's head into the concrete, again, again, until his stupid teeth out, until sam stops laughing like that, like he...like he--

younger dean is still looking up at sam like he's god--and fuck, tears leaking out of his eyes from mirth, face pink, dissolving into helpless giggles, sammy might as well be.

they were doing laundry together.

dean's ears ring.

the world snaps into focus, like unmuting a football game on TV just as the introductory musical sting plays, deafening.

sam--as if he can hear dean's life crumpling like a tin can--lifts his head. his smile dims a little, and dean wants to fucking goddamn die. when did he become a person that makes sam's joy wilt? when did he become a person that couldn't make sam laugh like this?

"dean," sam says, out of breath, still chuckling a little. his eyes flick over dean's face, then away back at dean on the ground. "you should've seen it--"

"hey!" his younger self squawks, spreading his legs a little like he's doing snow angels in the pool of detergent. "not cool, dude. let me die in my silent, clean shame."

sammy collapses.

he's holding his stomach, brow pulled together and mouth open as he cackles like he has no worries at all.

dean takes an aborted step forward, feeling raw and vulnerable like an exposed nerve, like a hunter without a brother at his back.

he's nauseous.

dean hates this. he hates that sammy needs this so bad that stopping it would be cruel, hates that he cannot give sam what he needs. since when has he not been able to give sam what he needs? what he wants? since when can sam find necessary things from others?

dean is furious, but he's not sure at whom. his hands shake, so he bundles them into fists. he looks at his younger self, who pales visibly.

dean has been labouring over sam's laughter. he's been putting in minutes and hours and days building up jokes, throwing out quips like one tries to take shots at a bullseye. he's gotten chuckles, sure, and one time--it sticks out like a recording in dean's head--sam had rocked with silent laughter when the coroner they were interviewing sneezed so hard he fell backwards into his tray of tools and sent scalpels flying.

dean has been working himself raw to get sam to look like this. and here comes this--this interloper, and makes sam look fifteen years younger, make side-splitting, joyful laughter spill from his lips.

he has never hated anything more, body and mind warring with each other as sam's laughter makes dean's shoulders untense, make his chest fill lopsided-full, and as his mind focuses on his younger self, an impudent little bastard.

has dean...has dean lost this?

he thought that sam had just been through too much to laugh so hard he cried. but clearly, he can. clearly, only dean's younger self can do this. clearly, sam can only be coaxed into joy by this...this boy. clearly, sam has a preference. a favourite.

the problem wasn't sam's. it--all along--has been dean's fault.

dean's lost this ability. somehow, somewhere, dean became too cynical or too mean or too warped for sam to feel this.

"hey, man, it's not--" his younger self says, smile completely gone and face grave. he looks--and goddamn him straight to hell--sympathetic. understanding.

dean doesn't want to be understood.

he doesn't want his failure to be understood, to be seen in real time, acknowledged that he is inferior, that there are parts of him that sam can love better, and those parts died years ago.

dean's going to kill him. he knows he's breathing fast, can feel the spark of violence right in his neck, in his arms, in his hands. he wants to slam dean's stupid face into the fucking concrete. he wants to hit him until he is as unrecognizable as dean is, until he loses this thing that sam clearly loves so much.

he tolerated the little bastard before now because he understands his awe, knows that the kid can't be helped but drawn into sam more than a sailor can be pulled towards the sea. he's an annoying little shit, and doesn't know his limits, but dean--on some level--got it.

but now he has something that dean wants, has something dean mourned for years, thought he wasn't ever getting back.

dean turns, before he can take another step forward and do something that'll turn sam against him forever, and, like a coward, flees.

GAHH your mind...i am now Thinking...you're so right LS!Dean would either be throwing punches or barely holding himself back... thank you sm for this ask!!! <3

-lizzy

(ES/LS masterlist here)

[sincerelyneo]

little run down: i want to thank the wonderful @hazyhae for tagging me to do this—it looked super fun, and i think it’s so cute to reflect on your works. i will say, though, my layout won’t be anywhere near as cute as theirs because i’m lazy and completely lacking any once of artistic talent. so we’re stuck with comic sans.

i didn’t write as much as i wanted to this year, and i went MIA for six months without a word—sorryy. but somehow, i still ended up with a total of 23 works. if you’d like to check them out, i have a very interesting masterlist for you to peruse.

“every fic you write is a song fic”…well sorta kinda 😋

FIRST WORK OF 2024: woman- renjun (27/3)

notes: i wrote this because i’m a firm believer that renjun is so hs1 coded. i was obsessed with the line “i’m selfish, i know” from woman, so it felt fitting.

my writing in this just annoys me, like paige shut uppp and stop yapping, my lord. my earlier fics are so wordy and long winded and it bothers me so much.

LAST WORKS OF 2024: igloo - renjun (17/11)

notes: started with renjun and finished with renjun yup. i love kiof, and when i heard igloo, i was like, this needs a fic—but i couldn’t settle on an idea i liked. originally, it was gonna be a toxic enemies-with-benefits fic for jeno, but i scrapped it because i wasn’t feeling it. then all of a sudden, it was november, and everyone and their mothers were writing nnn fics, and i was like… hm, okay.

i’m not really a lover of no nut november fics, but the lyrics were too fitting for the idea i settled on. so, alas—igloo.

LONGEST FIC OF 2024: fireproof - jeno (8.4k)

notes: is this cheating because i technically posted it in 2023 on my old blog? yeah. but it’s my wrapped, and i make the rules. my blog is a dictatorship, and whatever i say goes. also, if i hadn’t picked this, woman was the next longest, and i’ve already talked about her.

my writing in this is honestly horrific, and i think my old blog fics make me feel the most insecure as a writer. still, so many people asked me to repost it here, so i did—but i really wish i’d edited it first lol.

SHORTEST FIC OF 2024: sunflower vol 6 - hyuck (1.4k)

notes: harry styles wrote this song about haechan and i think about that all the time so i wanted to write something short and sweet. this is my only sfw fic as of now…

MOST POPULAR OF 2024: mad at you - mark

notes: umm…thank u for making this my most popular fic. ily <3

one thing about me… i’m a sucker for miscommunication, angst, and arguing in my fan fiction. a third-act breakup? sign me the hell up every single time. i love that this is my most popular fic of the year because i love the hurt/comfort trope.

PERSONAL FAVE OF 2024: heaven - chenle

notes: chenle is my bias, and it’s so hard to find fics where he’s a silly, lovesick lover boy, so i had to take matters into my own hands. i know i literally just said i love angst, but sometimes all a girl wants is tooth-rotting fluff with her smut, and i think i pulled that off pretty well in this fic. idk…

notes: i posted at least 3 fics for each member this year because i have a lot of ideas, and i like to spread them evenly—i also know the struggle of trying to find fics for your bias. however, hyuck + chenle definitely got a little more love (nobody’s surprised).

haechan (5 fics total: 12.1k words)

chenle (4 fics total: 16.0k words)

warning: i can be a little flaky with my writing. sometimes an idea hits, and i’ll write it in one sitting; other times, i’ll start something and forget about it for months. so, don’t be too disappointed if some of these never see the light of day.

guilty as sin? — park jisung (college!au, golden boy x nerd)

The hot upperclassman on the basketball team is every girl's fantasy - well yours. He's tall, and sweet and lean and hot and the object of all your late-night scenarios. And you like it like that. He's simply a thought, a dream, escapism and completely unaware of your existence. Well, he was, until you're assigned to tutor him. And now you have to teach the guy you've been getting off to at night how to do algebra...or fail the class yourself.

unadulterated loathing — na jaemin (enemies to lovers)

Every winter break, you and your best friends rent a cabin to escape the stress of college for a week. Except this year, your best friend is bringing her new boyfriend, Jeno, and with him comes his best friend, Jaemin—the one person you cannot stand.

ballad of a homeschooled girl — lee haechan (college!au)

Jumping from 18 years of homeschooling to living in college dorms would be hard for anyone; so imagine that mixed with a party animal roommate, a first crush and the cocky arrogant Lee Haechan who you just keep running into at inconvenient times. And he’s so irritating. Ugh. Could this get anymore awkward? 

if you steal my fic ideas i will be in your walls. 🤨

oh and…i forgot to mention: @sincerelyriize

[bokettochild]

I know I already rambled about this but

  Hopefully, that is the right call to make. If not, Warriors can be the one to take charge of the hero that’s apparently his kid, and the one that everyone knows looks up to him so much. Twilight has no authority over either of them anyways, and with his stance in the group still shaky after all the secret keeping and whatnot, he doubts that will change soon. Granted, he feels a bit uneasy not handling it himself, but- but he’s also quite eager to enjoy the company of the smithy without the younger heroes, and the warm presence of their skyloftian, waving to them as they enter camp again, is an added bonus.

I adore the way you write insecurity and would love the DvD extra's for this yet to be posted bit! ;3

When you mentioned wanting to talk about a bit from the drafts, I was worried it might be something I genuinely couldn't post without spoiling stuff, but this? Girl, we got this!

So, for I guess a bit of review/context, the group has split up to cover a distance and Wind is Doing Crap that is unspecified and Twilight's big brother senses say for him to go check it out, but also, he really, really wants to not be held responsible for whatever is happening. As you know, Nan, the chapters leading up to this point feature some harsh conversations that led to a few pointed words from the captain regarding secret keeping/trusting others. Twilight here hasn't had time to really gauge how the others actually feel about his shifting and the fact that doing so has let him learn things they may or may not have actually wanted Twilight, not Wolfie, to know.

He's uncertain now, as you said, of what would or wouldn't be welcome, and has no wish to encroach on space he feels isn't his. His referral to Wind as "the hero that's apparently his (Warriors') kid". If Wind i sup to something, he doesn't want to overstep bounds and take Warriors' role when he's quite aware that the man is having trouble trusting him right now, but also going through it.

Legend throwing their failures in their faces a couple chapters previous isn't helping this thought process either.

Twilight wants to be there, but he's also going through crap, so this is him fighting ihmself, if only for a moment, to take time to focus on his own issues, arguing that he's allowed to and finding excuses because, good big brotehr though he is, being a big sibling is hard. Sometimes you want to let that responsibility slide to someone else, to wash your hands of a matter and say "I can't change this" and instead focus on something you can actually effect. Twilight here is tired, overwhelmed, and still healing. He's worried about Time, he's worried about Wild, he's worried in general, and right now he needs time to regroup.

Twilight wants an excuse to say "not my problem" but also feels like shit for not being the responsible brother he's supposed to be and dealing with the potential problem.

He wants to go talk with Four and Sky. He wants to consult with two heroes he sees as his equals, not as little siblings or mentors, and he wants to talk to people who will hear him out, not push him away like Wild and Legend are doing, not react poorly as Time and Warriors are (for unrelated reasons, but he doesn't know that), just...listen. Honestly, he likes talking to them and he wants very much to do so, he just has to first excuse himself, mentally, from the responsibility of keeping everyone else out of trouble.

Poor boy is just super confused, out of his depth, and lost right now T-T

[subway-boss-jericho]

(threataning with art anon) yes! Rambles! Also you are so incredibly real for imagining all that stuff in different mediums (I have had similar experience) wish I could make a full animated film. That would be So Cool.

And! At one time or another I think I’ve read through the majority of the aus, but you are so right I freaking. Love the Mech AU. And coupled (uncoupled) looks like it would a verrry interesting character study (in like a “I wouldn’t do this but ingo would. Huh” kinda way)

help I’m reading them all again

also! I am here to encourage prattling I love prattling (it gives me more ideas for drawing-)

Hiii hii welcome back thank you for continuing to enable me :D

:D Yayy I'm so thrilled you like them. I never know if people actually think my wild bullshit is interesting or they just follow me for one thing (wheeze) ((Which, to be clear, is still totally fair and valid. No shame)) Of the AUs I've uploaded, I think the one that has gotten disproportionately ignored the worst is Coupled (Uncoupled). I am fucking obsessed with the coupled twins, and you're exactly right on the money there because holy Shit it's Such a character-study-rich situation to put them in. They were my in my top 3 indisputably Favorite AUs for a very long time (along with Steady Tracks and Spirit Keeper as the other two) and while I feel like I'm not super vocal about them they're still extremely high on that metaphorical list.

Realistically I could never actually list my Favorites, for the same reason why I can't really pick favorite pokemon. I like all my AUs for different reasons, so I may like one aspect of a given AU more than a different aspect of a different AU, but actually Ranking them As Favorites would be virtually impossible. Just know that I'm horribly fucking ill about coupled uncoupled more than most of the other smaller ones. Some day I'll vibe check you all so fucking hard with art or animation or writing out of left field that is about them, and then none of yall fucks will ever be normal again /lh /j

Actually. I've been struggling to write a caption for this thing so I can post it for months. Check this out:

I'M SO NORMAL ABOUT THEM.

Slaps top of this guy. He can fit two people's worth of the worst existential socio-emotional crises in him. I love gel pens.

I've decided to keep rambling about whatever the fuck on this topic, but I'm putting a cut here for my sanity:

Anyway! I really did make this AU entirely because I saw a fandom trend and went Whoa! Did we consider The Implications! And then didn't wait for an answer. Considering the implications is actually the Thing I Do the Most as I am writing in general, as any friend of mine can easily confirm. It's how a decent number of my AUs happened. I also have a trend towards either 1. trying to make an AU that doesn't touch on anything I've seen other people doing or 2. is explicitly inspired by what I perceive as trends in the fandom. Coupled Uncoupled is one of the latter, being directly inspired by Diamond Crossing. God I was not normal about diamond crossing. I'm Still Not Normal about diamond crossing.

I'm a HUGE fan of fusion in media, just in general. I don't actually know a whole lot of examples off the top of my head other than steven universe, but fusion as a concept drives me totally crazy. What if you and your friend/best friend/closest ally/rival/enemy/lover/a stranger etc could be the same person through a process so crazy intimate and vulnerable that it forces you to expose your deepest weaknesses, insecurities, emotions and motivations fully and without restraint. Sure I can be normal about that 👍

But yeah coupled uncoupled isn't like, me looking at Diamond Crossing or any other fic for that matter and going "I could do it better/I don't like insert plot point A," it was actually me looking at diamond crossing and going holy FUCK this is the COOLEST SHIT I'VE EVER SEEN. I need to participate in this or I am going to die. Then I came up with a million different ideas of fusion stories I thought would be interesting to tell, identified aforementioned trope of using the b2/w2 DNA splicers as a plot device, and went. ohohohohohohhoohohohoo i could do something silly and fucked up me thinks.

What if fusion was great and cool and awesome and a coping mechanism for a trauma/grief and also not what you thought and also more than you bargained for and also didn't give you the closure you were expecting and ALSO you didn't know how to make it stop.

Fusion as a mistake. Fusion as a regret. Fusion as a character flaw. Fusion as a major conflict (that isn't inherently connoted about?? forms of abuse and toxic relationships?? can we use fusion as a metaphor for other nuanced things too?? pls let me have this /lh)

Anyway their story is extremely complex and just by listing off ^ that I am extremely underselling the level of interwoven conflict and complicated emotional states of all parties involved so please do not misunderstand and think that one of the twins is fucked up and evil. I swear i didn't mischaracterize them that badly 🤣 The main point of the story, just off the top of my head, is actually focused around the theme of vulnerability, conflict resolution, and the strength of relationships founded on communication.

Trying to avoid spoiling The Entire Plot because I really think Coupled (Uncoupled) is going to be my next major fic project but in essence it does get better and this new tool available to them only opens the door for them to be closer than ever before and express care and compassion in new ways unique to them. i might make myself cry if I keep yammering. i care them

God I totally just used your ask as an excuse to go off. I've been doing that every time you send an ask, actually. This is why I love asks. Tysm <3 And I hope you enjoyed reading or if you didn't and TL;DR then basically god i'm so ill about them.

Every day I think about how a friend of mine made an entire animatic for this AU and yet we can't put it anywhere because we both want to remake it digitally. thats going to be one hell of a day when that bombshell drops

Thank you for the ask, and as always thank you for listening!

Coupled (Uncoupled) Masterpost

[ask-serendipity-sky]

Hello, everyone.

So...that blog @jimin-ethereal33?

Not a good Jimin blog and it sucks that people are there engaging with words that are basically the same things Jimin antis say just written with "nicer" words.

If you had all encountered this blog when it first started, you would have seen the change in tone.

They weren't even a jikook blog! They would say that jikook aren't soulmates or had a connection because we don't know anything about them. I found it super disturbing so I told my friends to block it.

And then somewhere along the line (while I've been on my break), their narrative changed and they made a blog to shame Jimin but dressed it up as an "awareness" blog.

Yes, we should be aware that what this person is saying is not support for Jimin.

I also kindly and respectfully asked them to remove the post about ED because it's not a topic for us to discuss. I begged them. But they ignored it and erased it.

Allright then...

Here are some bits from a few of their posts that absolutely portray Jimin as an insecure and weak person:

Jimin is so insecure he can't think?

Jk knows things but not Jimin because he's unsure?

Jimin is so sensitive and only this person knows all these things?

.....

Does this person ever include accounts to report? No.

Does this person ever support Jimin by sharing Interlude playlists, votings, stats, performances, articles, anything? No.

There are countless things to talk about when it comes to Jimin. Things that actually bring awareness and support Jimin. Things that celebrate Jimin!

Repeatedly stating that Jimin is weak, that he needs Jungkook (or anyone else), and that he is insecure is what antis do. Jjks use words like these all the time. Go to vile jjk's twitter profiles and this is the stuff you find.

I don't know a single real Jimin fan that thinks Jimin is weak, needs protection, etc...especially after he's rescued himself these past 10 years, gave us FACE, and became a soldier with honors ALL ON HIS OWN. If anyone still thinks that, reevaluate because you are incorrect. Obviously.

You all know I'm not the policing kind and we all have the right to write what we feel like writing. But if it's painting Jimin in a negative, disturbing, and incorrect light, I have to say something.

Please please please stop engaging with this account because I can assure you that they are not a real fan that cares about Jimin. They are a jjk at most. Tkkr probably.

Don't send them hate or nasty things. Please don't do that.

But STOP engaging.

Block and please tell your friends to stop engaging too!!

Don't give antis a platform!!!

Seriously, you all.

An anti will come a say a nice thing about jikook and post a few pretty pictures and you all will start following even if the rest of the stuff they say is made up bullshit that satisfies their own fantasies.

[homeofthemany]

jack versus kai

& versus his past!

part 1, part 2, part 3

first part of my breakdown of 1x19, "kickin' it in china", that was supposed to be in my last post. i'd recommend reading it for context because i drift out of canon territory in some heavier ways that might not make sense here if you haven't already looked at it. (:

up until this point in the series, jack has been a pretty cool, confident, & unshakable kid, but we also haven't learned anything about him. we know he was trained by his grandfather [who's a karate master], but that's about it. he's incredibly skilled in martial arts & clearly very talented, but he's a very normal & down to earth guy. then we meet kai, and things sort of start to fall apart.

TW for light discussion of ptsd & trauma. super light, super nonspecific.

where is jack, mentally? who is kai?

jack gets to go to china to fight in a tournament that he's, in his words, been dreaming of ever since he started training. woohoo! this is good! i'm sure he feels very accomplished & reassured of his skill level after being accepted to compete in the championship! maybe he can actually get over what happened with that random kid named kai he mentioned! jack is seeing a future for himself in martial arts again and is training in a new, healthy environment with people he likes. what's more important to him is that they seem to like him back!

the first thing we learn about kai is that he's the only opponent jack has lost to, and it was so devastating to him [likely physically and emotionally] that he gives up on karate until he moves to seaford. he seems uncomfortable talking about the subject and clearly doesn't want to elaborate, which i think can show "can show", since this is a kids show & they can't go too into detail that he's still somewhat insecure about his skill even though he rationally knows that he's the best in their dojo.

while we're making assumptions based off of writing choices, i think it's interesting that he confides in rudy & kim, intentionally keeping this from the other three; jack goes out of his way to talk to them outside. i like to think that he knows that they look up to him so he didn't want to talk about it in front of them, but logically this is just the writers keeping the a-plot separate from the b-plot lol. everybody, especially jerry, should've been involved, but i get that it's a kids show & they need to balance out the heavy stuff with the silly stuff.

the next thing we learn about this mysterious kai opponent comes from the man himself! this match jack is talking about apparently happened two years ago ["i thought i beat the karate out of you two years ago."], so not at all close to the start of the series. this is something that deeply affected jack, enough to have made him give up on something that really matters to him. if we assume that kickin' it follows the standard full season = full year formula, then kai would've beaten jack probably about a year before the start of the show, maybe a little over that, since 1x19 would be happening by the end of that season year.

i could make a whole separate post about jack's [c-]ptsd via his grandfather [long-term] & the fight with kai [one main standalone traumatic event], but the gist is that i cannot see a reality where that fight doesn't absolutely wreck him in more ways than one. jack was beaten so badly that he dropped karate, something he was probably training in since he could walk, for an entire year. that poor kid absolutely develops ptsd.

he also had no intentions of returning to it until he met jerry, milton, eddie, & rudy. even still, he almost chooses to walk out on them until he realizes that they're just as passionate about karate as he probably was as a younger kid. jack insists that he's not a karate guy and is a self-proclaimed skater boy, but it's clear that he still loves it and loves the culture [& action movies teehee] surrounding it.

next part (:

[friedesgreatscythe]

I'm gonna be honest, I'd lay it flat but preface it. Say, "hey, not to be insulting to anyone here, but I haven't thought of [said person] for ten years and I have no interest. We're having fun discussing [x, y, and z], to which you are welcome to join us, but nothing else is going on."

I will say though, if she feels like that, there might be other indicators on their end she is picking up on. Maybe he has feelings towards you but hasn't said anything. Maybe he is looking to others and the suspicions are being misdirected at you. Telling them to sort out their house before contacting you again, because you don't want the drama is also valid. (Disclaimer: I am a dick though and really like being choosy with friends. Drama llamas are not allowed at the petting zoo. *nods*)

ty for the suggestion!! because yeah like, apart from those first few messages we sent that day we haven't talked at ALL. none of my posts on my fbook have been even remotely directed at him, or even anyone in particular. on insta i just post memes and dumb shit i have saved on my phone and pictures of my cats, and they get crossposted to fbook. she looks super cool and i'd want to get to know her regardless of this, if she was comfortable with any of that, and i even said hi/introduced myself and wished her a belated birthday when she posted some pictures from that day! because i wanted to be nice!!

but that's if she even does wanna talk. it could already be cleared up easy peasy chicken dinner. right? 😬 relationships can be a real motherfucker, huh. i forgot about the insecurity i had back when i was dating him; he could be very charming and sociable, despite being completely stone-faced with dry wit.

AND ALL OF THIS BECAUSE I'M STILL BUDDIES WITH HIS MOM? idk man. maybe you're right when you said there could be other stuff going on. regardless i hope they're doin all right because it'd be so fucking awkward for him to be a writing buddy again just as a relationship he's in falls apart with me as an accidental catalyst lmfao it'd be like walking into a room with pizza and finding it on fire. big yikes, bad times, weird shit.

I JUST CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW LITTLE EMOTIONAL REAL ESTATE I AM GRANTING THIS GUY

IT WOULD BE JUST MY LUCK THAT SHE WOULD SUSPECT THE OPPOSITE LMAO

[andithiel]

End of year wrap up

I am so super late to this, but I’ve done this in the last few years and I think it’s a nice tradition to look back at the accomplishments I’ve achieved. 2022 was a very bleak year writing wise, and I’m happy to say that I’ve slowly started to get my mojo back a bit. My AO3 wordcount for 2023 was 36,936 words, but I’ve also posted some shorter things on tumblr, and I actually made a spreadsheet to track my progress and tally all my written words, including those that get deleted and also those not yet posted, and according to the spreadsheet I wrote 10k more. I still have a lot of WIPs hanging around in my drive, but I’ve managed to finish some of them, and I feel like I have more energy and excitement to finish some more, so, here’s hoping that 2024 will be the year that I actually end up with fewer WIPs at the end than at the beginning (something I tried back in 2020, before the world went up in flames).

Under the cut is what I published in 2023:

January 

Fading in Love (locked to logged in users) (Drarry, Explicit, 5k) I wrote this as a belated birthday present for @sassy-sassy3, it’s an 8th year secret relationship with a lil’ sprinkle of magical theory regarding the Dark Mark. 

February 

I decided to try a few prompts for HD Candyhearts and ended up having a lot of fun with them: 

Second Date AO3 tumblr (Drarry, Teen, 1,3k) with an insecure Draco after having spent the night with Harry.

The microfic Taste the love (for the prompt Sweet treats)

How deep is our love? AO3 tumblr (Drarry, Teen, 762 words) featuring established Drarry bickering and absolutely ridiculous Valentine’s cards.

The secret language of flowers AO3 tumblr (Drarry, Teen, 2k) featuring the classic tumblr post the fuck you bouquet.

Pillow microfic with Draco being a little shit

Charm me 8th year drabble FWB/secret relationship sort of vibes.

March

Take that ride (Drarry, Teen, 1,6k) I finally managed to write a fic idea that’s been scrambling around in my brain for ages. I wanted to create a mood and a feeling with this and I’m so happy with how it turned out.

I also wrote a short fuck or die drabble that I’m super proud of: Let me show you  

June

Hold back the tide (Drarry, Teen, 2k) Another idea that’s been with me for years that I finally got out (despite not having written the fic that preludes this).

October

Thunderstruck (locked to logged in users) (Drarry, Explicit, 8k) My god, my beast, this fic resisted me and to top it all off I got covid right when I was about to finish it. I struggled with this so damn much, also wanting to create a vividness that doesn’t really come natural to me, but I’m so happy with how it came out in the end. Plus I got to collab with the amazing @fictional who, as usual, knocked it out of the park with her glorious art.

November

The Potter Malfoy bathroom war of 2007 (locked to logged in users) (Drarry, Explicit, 8k) Another fic that’s been with me for some time, although “only” a year. I saw the prompt for last year’s Suds when claims had closed, so I tried to forget about it but it wouldn’t leave me. I had so much fun writing this, I love writing Harry and Draco bickering and fighting with each other when we as readers know it’s basically their form of foreplay. 

December

When it’s exactly twelve o’clock that night (Drarry, Teen, 6k) This was also a fic one year in the making. I started writing it to post on last New Year’s Eve, but I couldn’t finish it in five days (to my own astonishment), but I’m happy it got to marinate for a while because I added a scene with Scorpius that I’m very fond of.

I wasn't tagged by anyone and I'm sure people have already done this, but if this means you get another tag, consider pointing me to your own year wrap up so I can see it! @sassy-sassy3 @fictional @mystickitten42 @uncannycerulean @goblinmatriarch @phdmama @crazybutgood @dragonbornphoenix @wo2ash @rei382 @nv-md

[babyrdie]

why are you always putting disclaimers like "it's just my interpretation" or "I do not know everything about things" on things? Not complaining just curious. I don't see that much around here

[⭐]

Because if you sound confident enough, people will trust that you're right about everything you say. Because if you just state it, people will believe that your interpretation is the only one possible. I say this from experience, how many times have I seen this happen? In fact, I've even had people do it to me before (take something I said as definitive). And yeah, I don't like it.

It's nice when people agree with me, of course it is, but I want people to see what I post as possible interpretations and not as guides on how to interact with a piece of literature. Like something I said? Take it for yourself, make it part of your own interpretation. Disagree with that detail, though? Well, take the rest, ignore that detail. I don't mind, I do the same with other people. Do you have a question about something I said? Ask me, we can talk and I can explain my point of view better and, even if it isn't your preferred one, we will understand each other. That's how we share.

And I think that, when it comes to details that require prior knowledge (for example, when I use Greek or Latin text and make it clear that I """translated""" with an automatic translator and by checking dictionaries and articles and therefore it isn't confiable), I need to acknowledge my ignorance so that whoever reads it knows that I'm ignorant and won't use me as some kind of authority. Because I am not.

I've met people who sometimes feel intimidated with those who post long analyses, as if because we do that we know more than others. But this type of post is just a way of interacting and sharing thoughts, it's not that different from someone who posts fanart in my opinion. This is still a person who is getting involved as a hobby and who has the same authority on the subject as everyone else. In a fanart, you communicated your thoughts about the scene, about the character, about how you see it. In my analysis, I did the same. It's not that different. And I say this as someone who draws too!

I have a history (note that I'm talking about Brazilian fandoms here. Tumblr mythology side is the first international fandom that I've interacted with with any consistency) of being interpreted as "authoritative" or "serious" because, even in my native language, I write in a way that sounds formal. You know that thing about how language changes the context? Well. People would read what I said and interpret it as me being super serious, confident and knowledgeable… and I was, like, 14 years old? Because yes, when I was 14 I already had people on the internet assuming that I was 22 years old simply because of the way I write lol (note that it's the way I write, not the way I think. In fact, I definitely think that if they focused more on what I said than how I said it, they would have noticed that those were thoughts that were too immature for an adult). In communication, how people see you affects how they take the message. If people think you know everything just because you don't sound insecure while talking, they'll never tell you anything because they'll always assume that whatever they think is uninteresting to you (again, personal experience…it happens in my real life too). I kind of tried to solve the problem by making my insecurity clear? I thought that if I was as clear as possible, I would avoid this.

This is also why I try to explain where I got an idea from (whether primary or secondary source), so that anyone interested can do their own research and have their own interpretations instead of having to rely on me alone because they don't know how to start.