#i still dont love my body now
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telatire · 10 days ago
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1, 12, and 21 for Malenia? :)
Thank you so much for the ask!! 1. Why do you like or dislike this character? Firstly, I love her, your honor, not like her; secondly, I'd say I'm just a big sucker for characters in relationships (incestous or otherwise but the incest is a big selling point) who are so utterly devoted to their friend/partner/family member they'd do absolutely anything for them; and I feel the rot - beyond the disabilities - gives way to a lot of talk about body issues, which I also love to talk about, a body that doesn't feel like your own, working against you! I guess I'm fucked up, huh? Haha. 12. What's a headcanon you have for this character? I feel like this is something I've hinted at rather than explicitly stated, but I imagine a young Malenia having a real love for tales about adventures and warriors and long journeys from home; I think the isolation she'd experience due to the rot would lead her to be an avid reader as a sort of escapism (reflecting my own childhood experiences as someone who grew up pretty much alone, haha). It's only natural to dream about flying away when you're stuck in a cage, isn't it? 21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like? Technically, this is also a headcanon, since I've stated before, the JP text makes it clear Malenia is the younger twin and Miquella is the older twin - but god, do I love making Malenia an older sibling. I think there's just something so cathartic about writing a woman in a eldest daughter/maternal replacement/bearer of the burden + body issues/health issues/disability wombo-combo; this idea of everything being taken away from you, on top of only being seen by what you lack is just.... ah.... exquisite. It's actually something that comes up in my FMA Malmiq Shipweek Day 5! I wrote it in at four in the morning on Friday! Haha!
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icewindandboringhorror · 5 months ago
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On average, what is the total MONTHLY amount that you spend on dining out*?
*(This doesn't only count going out to restaurants, but also stuff like picking up fast food to bring home, getting a coffee on the way to work, getting a premade sandwich from a grocery store deli during lunch, buying a quick snack from a convenience store or food cart whilst walking somewhere, ordering a pizza or any other food to be delivered to your home, etc.)
*(If you often dine out in groups/as a household: calculate and divide the costs so that you get a Per Person average. This is for YOU individually, NOT the total household/group costs)
(I'm sure polls similar to this have been made before (very common topic), I just haven't personally seen one that I can remember, so, I was curious to do my own! I was discussing this with a group of people today and it was very interesting to see how widely the number varied between individuals. :0c )
(Reblog for bigger sample size if you can, and feel free to explain your answer in tags if there's anything extra to add!)
#polls#tumblr polls#I'm mostly in the 0/1 - 25$ category. Maybe the rare month is a bit over $25 if there's something specific going on like birthday.#Which I'm NEVER eating in an actual restaurant (erm... covid... plus I just hate restaurant environments. i would rather pickup#the food and bring it home to a peaceful quiet environment that I control lol). But more typically like stopping by a grocery store deli#section or something. I don't have coffee that much. And I can't eat fast food much due to my health issues/diet restriction stuff#so if I'm out like coming back from an appointment and I start feeling really sick and weak. I know that a hamburger will just#blow up my system and cause nausea or something. So I try to pick the breadiest most#neutral looking turkey sandwich at the safeway deli to eat during the hour ride home or whatever lol#I actually kind of wish I could do stuff like get food more often vecause it would take the burden of cooking everything off of me#but.. alas... Money... and Health Things... T o T#I still wouldn't do it ALL the time but like... once a week instead of once a month or something.. or maybe turning into a coffee#person.. I do love drinks A LOT .. i am a drink person who will have 5 different drinks sipping on at all times#But i just have to make them all myself mostly lol#And I cant really have too much coffee since it will make me sick. so like.. teas and juice mostly#When I inevitably become a millionaire by never using social media never networking and only finishing one#sculpture every 5 months which I dont even post about or sell - then I shall... get more drinks..#I will somehow wean my body onto coffee and drink one a day solely for the ritual of it#Though even then... I would still probably just like.. buy the mateirals to make it at home or something#Like if you had a million dollars you could just buy a kitchen grade ice cream machine and other stuff to make your own milkshakes and#coffees and smoothies and bubble teas. Genuinely I think even if I were a BILLIONAIRE I would still look at playing likr $8 for a single#coffee and go .. uh.... I could just buy the equipment to make this and then save that money. PLUS. its in my house now so no need to#have to leave. I can make my own drinks in the comfort of home. .. ideal..#Like no matter how rich I ever got I would still have the lingering scroogey stinginess. like i am NOT paying for that. I will jus#make it myself. Especially if it was an Everyday thing. Anythign thats part of my routine I try to optimize and make as efficient as#possible... ANYWAY.. In an IDEAL world I would get treats. but probably not that much. as on a daily basis it would start to get#to me and I would just save up to buy kitchen machinery if I was rich lol
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yeonjune · 5 months ago
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Yeonjun about the strain he felt while preparing for his debut solo project ✙ "GGUM" MAKING FILM
#yeonjun#choi yeonjun#tomorrow x together#txt#ggum: making film#gifs#creations#userzaynab#useryeonbins#skyehi#rosieblr#megtag#hibiebear#heyiri#ultkpopnetwork#kpopccc#kpopco#this are like the rawest emotions we've seen from him... I feel... it's really sad to watch him like this#i mean I know they're under lots of pressure and stress#It's only natural when you work with so many people who you could potentially disappoint#and I know it was his choice to make this solo project happen now but i feel like the company could manage his schedule better#because why he films till 3 am and then right next day has a flight to another country for a concert...#and now we know from soobin they're super busy again#I'm worried his body will just say 'enough' one day and something bad will happen :(#and you have him work so hard and stress and then all this losers online whose biggest achievement is getting 100 likes on a post#writing the worst things about him for no reason... its not that hard to be kind and you dont need to have an opinion about everything :D#at the end of the day that celebrity you hate so much is still pretty and successful#and you're just a friendless jobless empty-headed rotten fool with likes on a post that mean nothing once you close the ap#I'm just glad all this is still fun for him and that he has such a great support system: his members family staff who care about him and us#all we can really do is support them and send them lots of love fr ;; you've done well my jjunie ily ♥
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dendroaspis-viridis · 7 months ago
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I'm begging you, BioWare... Learn from the mistakes of Baldur's Gates past...
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xxplastic-cubexx · 2 months ago
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not to be myself on main but im still here
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skunkes · 4 days ago
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i loooove when ocs unrealized development makes them feel like real people like no i dont know whether talon is genuinely attracted to women after years of both clinging to them for safety and years of putting them onto that untouchable idealized Perfect Protector Pedestal that must remain untainted by any bad experiences, so he doesn't even try to Be With any. He doesn't know either
#like i heart bisexual men so part of me is like no yeah he does like women. he literally loves women#>what if this is just love as general blind devotion solely on the basis of them not being men#we all know he likes men without much of what would be societal shame but he still grapples with it in that personal way#in the if i like men it means i like them despite what happened to me -> i secretly like what happened to me way#talon like i like men and women but i could never spend my eternal life with a man. as a way to just focus on one thing (finding said women#instead of letting himself think about anything else at all#oc text#ill let it float into my mind but idk because this would mess up his original plot before i kept him#though tbh i want to keep keeping him idk if ill ever let him go back home ykwim. long gone concept at dis point he's mine now. ours#talkys#also this makes things more interesting too in the way of#well it was previously thought that talon has a great interest in [smunker] because of smunkers Body#a sort of unintentional and subconscious rejecting of [smunker's] gender and seeing him#as not a man#now its like. what if its not that. it rly is just sole attraction to men because well al is also a pretty feminine guy#views challenged because no‚ men one way (bad) and women another way (good)#but theres TWO guys here who exhibit femininity so he's like wait hold onnnnnn waittttt#that subconscious conflict still exists though in the fearing al (at first) due to his body and both terrorizing and clinging to [smunker]#because of his#the terrorizing because talon sees his original self in smunker (weak and youthful‚ cherubic‚ naive)#theres so many layerssss#anyway yes. loving women as in of course i love women. beautiful and they keep me safe#but not in any way further than that... i love them i can and will kiss them and do much more but it doesnt feel The Same#i dont think i actually even have any fully gay guy characters [EXCEPT MAYBE THE SELF? LMAO IDK] bc i love bisexual men so much#groundbreaking...#wait sorry more oc rambling this actually would also make sense too because how i imagine talon with women is exaggerated#complete personality change to be pleasant and pliable and you can do whatever you want to me#when its also known that the reason he ''acts out'' with al and [smunker] is because he feels safe enough to drop any and all masks to do s#hmmmmmmmm i must keep thinking
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puppppppppy · 1 year ago
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its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously
#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to#im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but#because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of#exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something#and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh#and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing#because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant#even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still#its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn….#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about#I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird#maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel#a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t#I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to#be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol#idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week#had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting#yapping#does this count as vent#vent#Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly
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jils-things · 5 months ago
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you are pretty, dearest!
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silentsockfeet · 3 months ago
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with the obvious addendum that act 3 isn’t out yet and we can’t form true opinions until the show’s officially done, i’m still really feeling like it could have maybe benefited from a third season. they’re hitting all the right plot points and those moments are full of really intense emotion, but everything in the middle feels so underwhelming in comparison and so much of it still feels rushed to me. idk
#arcane#arcane spoilers#i could kinda deal with it act 1 bc there was a lot to cover through the fallout after s1. but act 2 i'm reallyyyyyy feeling it#like dont get me wrong it's still so so so good#and i guess that's what makes it so much more frustrating#like you can see all the ways it can be just that littlest bit even better#but i guess if the biggest complaint viewers have about your show is that they want more then that already says a lot you know#anyway#it's the warwick / isha plot that bugs me specifically bc isha (love her to death) feels lowkey like a cop out#introduce a kid just to heavy push the 'cycle of violence' 'find your humanity again' character arcs only to kill her six episodes later#like EVERYONE was saying 'ive never seen a character so obviously created to die'#the subversive thing would be to have her live and show the cycle of violence is ending or something#but here's another broken kid killed by the system here's more proof that jinx is. well. a jinx.#idk idk idk#and warwick. i wanted so much MORE#heavily build up warwick all through act 1 just to have him die end of act 2#we barely got to see him at full power.#we barely got to see him with vi and jinx.#we barely got to see him reckon with the man he was and the monster he is now.#we got next to nothing before he's just dead. again#and again those scenes hit SO GODDAMN HARD. THEY ARE GOOD. but they couldve hit even harder if they just had more time to flesh it out !!!!#but again again no act 3 yet so who goddamn knows at this point#they aint dead til we see the bodies and even then they might not be dead bc thats just how arcane works#but fuck i just wish we sometimes had time to sit and FEEL things before the next new thing starts#ok im done rambling i just had to say something somehwere because its driving me insane#my posts
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n0bluev · 7 months ago
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@fushiglow hmm….wonder who i’d draw this for all of a sudden and why… 🤔🤔
#your reblog surprised me#THREE BUNS SUGURU (STAR WARS ER JUST FOR YOU!)#theyre covering riko or smt and smuggling her places (??)#drawing this i was like ‘oh suguru’s curses in a star wars environment should be robots and stuff#so this suguru is a mecanic (he makes them from scrappy parts people have thrown out#and trash materials (and hard work 😎)#diy pokemon#because what is the cursed energy people are letting out if not junk theyre letting go of#so yeah ; basic geto takes shit and turns it useful#i do realise thats already very generic for star wars (junk robots junk robots!) but like. yknow. this guy takes shit people wouldnt bother#trying to sell. miam. junk of the junk. geto my favourite recycling bin you were designed for a luxurious lifestyle clearly (gege not me!)#(and stuff…………. but im lazy to put my vision in words rn hah..)#gojo’s probably a princess#(let’s not lie. hes basically a prince already (clan heir is a different look on him))#this made me want to write ?.??#problem is i dont remember much about star wars (watched it as a kid (we have the cds) appart from the very basic storyline… i forgot 😔#then theres the jawa’s first appearance cuz for some reason they scared me and i am marked for life (THEYRE JUST SILLY LITTLE GUYS 😭😭))#thankfully i lowkey want to rewatch everything so these issues can be fixed#(unthankfully either way the chance of me writing anything is very slim BUT WE NEVER KNOW RIGHT)#(hashtag diverging your attention from that other older post is it working /j/j)#omg glo ​i still didnt read balance (i think of it from time to time but im intimidated to read it because i know its right up my alley and#that i will love it and lately idk why but i need to ready myself emotionally to read peak fiction (this is so dumb but its true 😭😭))#my bad im rambling lol#WAIT FUCK SAME THING FOR BUNNY’S RECENT THINGY THAT GOT IN MY AO3 UPDATE MAIL#A LOVE STORY TOLD THROUGH THE LENS OF A THIRD PARTY MY BELOVED#(itsg ive searchef for these types of stories in advanced search before#AND NOW THAT I HAVE SOME BY AUTHORS I ALREADY ADORE .. IM- I SEE THEM BUT. THEIR CONTENTS STAY A MYSTERY. IS THIS MY BODY SUBCONSCIOUSLY FI#FIGHTING THE TEAR LOSS I WOULD GET??? IS THIS MFING [BALLING-MY-EYES-OUT] PREVENTION !? WITHOUT MY PERMISSION..!? TCH!)#my bad. ramble again o7 — see ya glo !#wip
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lockedtowers · 6 days ago
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stop a/starion has a BRAND NEW SIM AVAILABLE ON MODTHESIMS FOR THE SI/MS 2
#for those unaware E/A decided that we suffered enough and let us buy reformatted editions of og si/ms and si/ms 2#which for bitches like me who STILL prefers ts2's gameplay over t/s3 and 4's gameplay (but likes a lot of the other#parts of those two more like the added diversity and everything which t/s2 does lack bc it was last updated in 2008)#in t/s2 it was still clearly a passion project whereas in t/s3 like halfway through the packs you could tell they stopped caring#t/s3 still had the storyline element tho that t/s4 just doesnt#but t/s2's lore is so!!!#the s/ims r/esource has once again proven itself a disappointment bc ppl last made content in like 2013 which is like still good for a game#again last updated in 2008 but yknow#and then made impossible to play so E/A released the whole collection for free after breaking the original buy and now even that doesnt wor#i had to reprogram the entire game last time i tried playing it which is why the price of the not even really a remaster#all they did was update the gameplay so it works on modern pcs (mostly)#which is worth it to me bc im not a great programmer and do not have the time to reprogram a game for three days to play it#and it was my favorite it honestly still is my favorite thing in the world is#playing v/eronaville and ruining shakespeare by making r/omeo and t/ybalt enemies to l/overs and having j/uliet take revenge w m/ercutio#only to get w p/uck its a whole thing but anyways im im so happy at least the m/od the s/ims community never abandoned me#bc t/sr certainly tf did. tumbs seems to have quite a bit of cc too which is so!!!#when my harddrive w all my old gifs and stuff broke i also lost all the CC i made all my meshes and everything#and unfortunately they did not bring body shop back like i wanted i doubt they will so i do not know how to make meshes without it#making custom sims is gonna be a fucking bitch without it actually bc bodyshop is my favorite thing its way way better than ts4's maker#i ust im so happy. also annoyed by the lack of body shop but so happy. i know a lot of ppl are pissed they're charging for it but its worth#it to me. and people are making si/ms 2 machinima again which is also a favorite thing. most of the old ones do NOT hold up anymore#anyways how do i bully E/A into bringing back b/ody s/hop i'll even pay for it at this point make it work for all four games#or at least 2-4 like#i honestly dont play 3 much im a 2 girlie and have been w 4 off and on bc i love it but the lacking is so clear as#someone whos been there since the start yknow but#asidjiasdifbeiadpisadhasidhasipdaspodhifoeajcapsdjsa#out.
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michameinmicha · 2 months ago
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Im very into lavender these days but not in the woo woo 'this will fix my sleep problems and all other issues' pseudoscience way, it's just that i really love the smell and it's very comforting to me, which i can use a lot of right now so i try to surround myself with it as much as possible 💜
#lavender smells like how it feels to get home after a long day in the cold qnd you get to take off your wet clothes and put on soft pyjamas#and you can just get cozy in your warm bed and novidy expects anything else from you tonight no responsibilities no chores#you get to just be warm and safe and fall asleep#also bubble baths because iwe alsway had this lavender bubble bath when i was a kid and i loved it so much (i always tried to eat the foam#or rather i wanted to eat the smell itself but the closest i could get was the foam... yes it tasted bad) and i still love it a lot#oh also my best friend who ive known since kindergarten would always use this lavender oil (instead of like body lotion) after showers#(bit they changed the bottles a few years back so now they are like half the size which is ridiculous)#(we spent holidays together for years) and they still use it today but i dont get to smell it as much but that also makes me feel nostalgic#anyway lavender is amazing and i wish i could just drink that bubble bath fluid and get that cozy feeling inside of me that way#(im trying to find a tea that has mostly lavender but its not easy. most also have other stuff that i dont like... but ill keep looking!)#oh and i recently bought this lavender shower gel and that is so wonderful for a shower at night!!!#hey if any europeans wanna recommend any good (not suuuuper expensive) lavender products i could check out please tell me#winter is kicking my ass and i need anything i can get to cheer me up and comfort me#alright enough rabling#i just bought a tea i wanna try thats why i was thinking about it#mine
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rhytmrocket · 3 months ago
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one of the oldest hcs i have is that karate joe has a little mole on the lower left side of his lip (his left, viewer's right)
not sure when or why i gained this hc, it's just kind of been a constant in how i draw him for as long as i can remember
for example:
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well, i never really draw his mouth, so i suppose just the left of his chin
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galaxymagick · 1 year ago
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🤭🖤
cr
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canis-dies · 23 days ago
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01. Housofpsychoticwomn - Ethel Cain. // 02. Housofpsychoticwomn - Ethel Cain. // 03. Ciencias Naturales - Juan Gatti. // 04. Manual of surgical bandages, devices and dressings - J. M Goffres, // 05. rabbittutor. // 06. Unknown. // 07. Rick Berry. // 08. Uncarné_10 - A.Na. // 09. Deathless - Catherynne M. Valente. // 10. Unknown. // 11. Unknown. // 12. Suren Manvelyan. // 13. Suren Manvelyan. // 14. Suren Manvelyan. // 15. Etienne - Ethel Cain. // 16. Atlas and Epitome of Operative Surgery - Otto Zuckerkandl. // 17. сердце, рука - Tverdaya. // 18. Venus De Medici - Francesco Calenzuoli. // 19. Peripety (1) - Jen Mazza. // 20. Peripety (6) - Jen Mazza. // 21. Peripety (Artist Statement) - Jen Mazza. // 22. Unknown. // 23. Reclining Nude - James Jebusa Shannon.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 11 months ago
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...
#i walked into a situation today where my mom was effectively already dead. effectively bc her body was and is still alive. still breathing#painful groaning purrs. but her mind was gone yesterday. my dad said he showed her a picture of the mountains i took that day and told her#i loved her and she smiled. thats what he said. maybe he was just being nice. or maybe thats the last time she thought of me. i dunno. but#the human body is an incredible thing. shes got a heart still powering a broken body. too full of tumors to function anymore. stomach#streched like a pregnant mother. it happed really fast and now its happening very slow#im somehow probably better off than the rest of them. i only got here for the aftermath of a downslide. my daily life will b least effected#i only really saw her twice a year living so far away and she didnt text much. didnt call often. so life wont change much ill just kno shes#not there. which is sad. but theres nothing to b done abt it. life goes on. it hasnt been all bad tho. its nice to talk to my family abt her#how incredible she was. bc she was. wish her mom wasnt here tho. she doesn't deserve to b here. my mom wouldnt want her here. she didnt want#her here. but anyway. i wish her body would just let her go now. so we can sleep. so this can be over. so she can rest#but even like this shes stubborn and resilient. they say it could go on for days but i hope not. may the universe let her rest shes gotta b#so tired after 10 years of this. but i have no regrets. she knew how i felt abt her. and i dont think she had regrets either. she did so#much up to the very end. went out on a high note without the burdon of knowing it was coming#i dunno. its just such a strange experience to watch the empty shell of your mother sleeping like a gurgling baby#unrelated
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