#i still am not fully decided on if i want to do that again
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helldivers-2 · 2 days ago
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So…
When would be a good time to re-enable asks/inbox?
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whore-ratio · 22 hours ago
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when I started hrt, I was so incredibly unsure. every day I was wracked with doubt and anxiety. here was this gaping hole in my chest, which by my measure was only growing, and I expected one little pill every day to fix it somehow. I was doubtful, but when I talked to my trans friend about it, they said the same thing: they weren't sure at first.
they took theirs experimentally at first, just to figure out if it was what they wanted. they told me it was like a fog lifted. I felt very foggy. I decided to try it.
I live in a state where informed consent is the accepted model of treatment. I scheduled an appointment to consult about it, heard out the risks and benefits, and I was sure my doubt had been evident to my doctor. I was also sure it would disqualify me somehow.
she told me to see her again in a month. I booked my next appointment three weeks out.
at that appointment, she simply asked me if I understood the risks, benefits, and overall effects of estrogen. I told her I thought I did. she asked me if I wanted it, and I said the same. I was practically waiting for her to stop me, to tell me I had to be sure.
she wrote me a prescription and I picked it up the same day.
ESTRADIOL 2MG SUBLINGUAL TABLET
I left the pharmacy in disbelief. my pharmacist had usually said the name of my prescription to me when handing it over. she didn't say anything this time.
at home I sat staring at the bottle for a while before opening it. then I finally got out one tablet and placed it under my tongue. looking back, I'm sure I did it wrong. I didn't hold it there as long as I should have, and kept moving it around by accident.
I knew it wouldn't change me overnight, but I still somehow expected it to: to wake up with a different brain, one that could feel everything deeply rather than drifting through each day in a dreamlike state and drifting into dreamless sleep each night. of course this didn't happen. it wouldn't, either.
the next day I felt worse. with each passing day it continued, as my desperation grew for this little tablet to do something, anything to me. I just wanted a *sign*. something to me feel like I wasn't headed for the edge of a cliff anymore.
but I was on 2mg sublingual daily. a weak dose, one that achieves essentially nothing without an antiandrogen. I didn't really know what dosages meant at the time. even so, I was happy to have estrogen in my body.
wait.
*I was happy to have estrogen in my body.*
even without knowing what it was doing, without seeing any of its effects, just by beginning to take them, I had already realized that I wanted to keep going. I wanted to keep putting estrogen in my body, and as soon as I began to understand levels and dosages, I wanted more.
several times I asked my doctor to increase my dose ahead of the recommended schedule, and each time she obliged, remarking that while it could be risky, my mental state was the more important consideration and it was ultimately up to me.
so I kept going up, always just a bit ahead of the curve. soon I was at the maximum safe dose on tablets. soon after, I switched to injections (I'm now on 6mg estradiol valerate per week) and started progesterone. I have never been happier.
there were many stages where I fully expected doctors to refuse to prescribe me, or change my prescription for, estrogen. I expected them to tell me I wasn't ready to make that decision, that I could only know with more therapy, or that I at least had to be able to tell them I wanted it without a hint of doubt in my voice.
but that's only because it's what I kept hearing from everyone else: that it's a decision to take extremely seriously, one with irreversible consequences.
but all it took was one tablet with far too small a dose to be effective, and already I was sure. maybe I always had been.
remember that while nobody chooses which hormone their body produces, they are *always* changing you irreversibly. the question to ask is not "am I really certain I want estrogen?", it's "do I like the idea of this better than staying on testosterone?" and if you still can't answer that but are curious, it's perfectly fine to just try it.
not every place has informed consent, but they should. if they don't, never be afraid to lie to doctors in order to get what you want. remember, the barriers to HRT were not put in place because of genuine medical concern, but because of transphobia. you deserve better, so do whatever you have to to get your hands on it, even just to try it, even if you're not sure. your body probably knows what it wants.
for whoever needs to hear this:
starting HRT doesn't have to be a huge momentous all-or-nothing decision. you can just try it like you would an antidepressant you've been informed of the risks of.
there won't be any immediate irreversible changes overnight. you can always stop, change your dose, change your delivery system, decide it's not the right time. you can even microdose if you want to.
you don't have to tell anyone. you don't have to announce it if you don't want to.
stop waiting for a perfect time in your life because it won't come.
stop waiting to reach a mythical level of certainty that never comes to anyone, for anything.
you've been thinking about it long enough. if you have the opportunity, just give it a shot. you're worth the courage it takes to make a change in your life.
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tickly-trashcan · 23 hours ago
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Rebuilding {Optimus Prime and Megatron}
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A/N: GAAH I couldn't decide which continuity this was HAHA I've only watched tfone and tfp so far hehe so we can say this is a way later version of tfone maybe?? yeahhh tfone sounds good... i literally wrote this last night and finished it this morning bc Optimus was on my MINDDD i could not get him out so i decided to torment him instead! there is also def some hinted megaop but i didnt want to fully commit to it haha but its def megaop bc im trash ANYWAYS ENJOY
Summary: Megatron and Optimus Prime are finally working together again to rebuild Cybertron. However, Optimus is a little bit distracted by something, and it is slowly beginning to annoy Megatron.
Word Count: 1.7k (under the cut!)
“Prime, are you listening to me?” Megatron asked, putting a hand on his hip as Optimus Prime stared out the window of the ship.
“Hmm? Oh– Yes, I am,” Optimus replied quietly as he turned to face Megatron, still zoned out.
Megatron narrowed his optics at Optimus, but continued regardless. “As I was saying, now that we’re rebuilding, I think we should initially focus on– Prime.”
Optimus continued to stare out the window, not noticing Megatron. He soon picked up on the fact that Megatron was no longer talking and looked at him again, his finials dipping slightly as he became aware of Megatron’s annoyance.
“I– Sorry… My mind is in a lot of places…”
“It should be here. I’m not going to waste my breath talking if you aren’t going to listen.”
Optimus nodded, quickly glancing out the window once more before turning back to Megatron. “I’m sorry, you’re right. It’s just– It doesn’t feel real.”
Megatron raised his optical ridge. “What doesn’t? The fact that our war has finally ended, or the fact that we’re going to rebuild Cybertron?”
Optimus shook his helm and then chuckled. “Well, I suppose both of those don’t quite feel real either… But I was talking about you.”
Megatron hesitantly took the seat next to Optimus, waiting to see if he would shy away from him or if he would try to move. When he did neither, Megatron relaxed slightly into the seat, watching Optimus with earnestness as he waited for him to continue.
“It doesn’t feel real… finally being back with you. As friends, I mean…”
Optimus’ finials were dipping even more, as if Megatron’s silence was negating what he had said about their friendship.
Megatron sighed. “We used to be more than just friends, Prime. But… I will admit, it is strange having to rebuild more than just Cybertron.” Megatron leaned back, letting his arm settle across Optimus’ shoulders, making him stiffen. Megatron did not pull away. “We– I have so much more to rebuild. I have to rebuild myself, I have to rebuild your trust… I have to rebuild us.”
Optimus could not help when his finials perked up at Megatron mentioning the two of them. “I have plenty of rebuilding to do as well, Megatron. You won’t be the only one needing to rebuild things… And I promise I will be with you every step of the way.”
Megatron smiled at that. Optimus let himself relax in Megatron’s arm, his finials moving happily.
Megatron chuckled as he took notice of his dancing finials. “You never did change that habit, did you now? Even as a Prime, you’re still the same bot I knew all those cycles ago.”
Megatron traced Optimus’ finial gently, making him gasp sharply and flinch away from his touch. Optimus brought a servo up to his finial, his faceplate heating, and looked at Megatron with an embarrassed look on his face. Megatron did not move, as if he was afraid that he had hurt Optimus.
Optimus chuckled awkwardly, his laugh signifying that Megatron had not harmed him. “Sorry… My finials are– Well, they’re sensitive.”
Megatron nodded his helm slowly and looked down. A small grin began to creep up his face as he realized what Optimus had told him, however, and he turned his helm back to grin mischievously at Optimus.
“Prime…” Megatron started, looking at Optimus’ finials that were twitching slightly in anticipation of what was likely to come. “Can you tell me exactly what you mean by sensitive? If I recall, there was a certain… sensitivity that you had all those cycles ago, if I’m not mistaken.”
Optimus leaned back slightly, but did not have very much space to lean into. He was up against the window, the table in front of him, in the seat with Megatron beside him… There was nowhere he could go.
Optimus cleared his intake and sat up a bit, trying to hide his growing nervousness. “They’re just… a bit ticklish, is all. Now, what were you saying earlier about rebuilding?”
Megatron nodded his helm slowly and drew his servo up close to his face, as if he were inspecting his digits. “Ah, yes, rebuilding… We must begin by rebuilding Cybertron, and I think that we should begin by focusing on supplying energon.”
Optimus relaxed a bit, thinking that he had successfully diverted Megatron’s attention. Optimus felt Megatron’s arm shift behind him, but thought nothing of it until he felt another gentle swipe to his finial, making him jolt and gasp.
“Megatron!”
“Are you still not listening to me, Prime? I already told you, I’m not going to talk if you won’t listen.”
Despite his tone, Megatron has a sly grin on his face. Optimus knew he was messing with him, and he would not rise to the bait. Optimus folded his arms and leaned back in the seat, into Megatron’s arm, and motioned for him to continue.
As Megatron talked, Optimus did his best to listen, but the way Megatron would gesture with his servo made him constantly anticipate another ticklish sensation on his finial. He could not see Megatron’s other servo, so he did not know when he would do it, and it made it so much more difficult to retain what Megatron was saying.
Suddenly, there was another touch to his finial, but it did not go away after just one swipe. Optimus flinched at the initial touch, then began to fight back shaky giggles as the touch continued, light and ticklish. Megatron toyed with his finial gently, tracing up and down while Optimus shook with contained laughter.
Megatron raised his optical ridge. “Is something the matter, Prime?”
“N-noho…” Optimus barely managed to get out.
Megatron hummed. “Then would you mind repeating what I was just talking about? Paraphrase if you must…”
Optimus fidgeted slightly, trying to remember, but Megatron’s digit was still toying with his finial and Primus it tickled so bad and he could not recall any bit of what Megatron had said. Optimus let out a shaky breath and swatted Megatron’s servo away.
“I cahan’t– I can’t seem to recall,” Optimus said softly.
Megatron sighed, loudly and almost dramatically. “You are a truly terrible listener, Prime.”
Optimus huffed. He knew that Megatron was teasing him, but there was some part of him that was enjoying it. It felt like old times, and it made Optimus feel a strange sense of comfort. “Well, I wouldn’t be as distracted if someone wasn’t tickling me every five seconds.”
Megatron did not bother hiding his grin at this point. “Oh? Are you suggesting that I’m the cause of your distraction? Prime, I thought we were rebuilding our trust.”
Optimus rolled his optics and shook his helm. He was about to say something back, but Megatron was back to tickling his finial, cutting Optimus off as he fought back a laugh.
“Are you laughing at me now?”
“You’re tickling mehehe!”
“Am I now? I didn’t notice…” Megatron drawled, teasing Optimus’ finial with two digits as Optimus shook while trying to contain his giggles. “Hmm… I can’t help but wonder if you’re still as ticklish elsewhere…”
“Mehegatron, don’t you dahare–!”
Optimus hardly had a chance to do anything before Megatron was on him, prodding and scribbling his digits along Optimus’ chassis as he fell back in the seat, laughter almost instantly bubbling from his intake.
“Mehehehgatron! Nohoho, not thehehere!!” Optimus wailed, trying to push Megatron’s servos away from his hips.
Megatron laughed with Optimus, amused that his old friend was still just as ticklish as he remembered. “You really haven’t changed at all, have you?”
“Why wohohould I chahahange– WAhahaaa! Mehegatron, plehehease! Not thehehere!!”
Optimus was sent into a fit of frantic laughter when Megatron’s servos managed to creep up under his arms, finding the seams that he recalled drove Optimus up the wall. Megatron’s memory served him well, and he was met with the exact reaction he had anticipated as Optimus clamped his arms down as much as he could and kicked his pedes behind him.
“This is still your best spot, isn’t it? Although, I never knew about your finials back then… Maybe we should compare?”
“Mahahaybe we– Maybe we shohohouldn’t!!” Optimus wheezed, shaking his helm in an attempt to keep Megatron’s servos away. It worked slightly, but Megatron did still get a few swipes at his finials, making Optimus squeak whenever his digits made contact with them.
After a few more attempts, Megatron eventually retreated his servos back to the seams under Optimus’ arms, making him throw his helm back and laugh. He squeezed his optics shut, squirming uselessly beneath Megatron as he laughed.
Optimus gasped sharply when Megatron pulled one of his arms above him. Optimus shook his helm, his optics wide as he kept giggling.
Megatron grinned deviously. “Finials or seams?”
Optimus blinked. “Whahahat?”
“Don’t make me repeat myself again, Prime.” Optimus tried to tug his arm away and Megatron hummed. “Finials it is, then.”
“No!”
“No? Then you’d prefer the seams?”
Optimus stammered, his words coming out like static as he tried to form a coherent sentence. “I– No, I mean– Well–”
“If you don’t choose, I’ll choose for you…”
“I can’t choose!” Optimus nearly whined, shaking his helm.
Megatron raised his optical ridge and smirked. “You can’t, hmm? Well, then…” He leaned forward until he was just a few inches from Optimus’ face, making him giggle nervously. Megatron had a sly smirk on his face as he contemplated. “I think I’ll choose… both.”
“What–!”
Optimus could barely register what Megatron was planning before it was too late. He quickly dissolved into more bubbly laughter when Megatron skittered his digits along the seams under his arms, then gasped when he felt Megatron toy with his finials. He went back and forth, never letting Optimus fully get used to either sensation, and it made him a frantic, laughing mess by the time Megatron finally decided to let up.
“Y-you… That was– Ugh…” Optimus could not even formulate a proper insult or claim or anything. All that he ended up with was a few residual giggles and a tingly sensation that would not leave his seams or his finials as Megatron sat up.
“Fun? For me, it was indeed fun… I missed you, Orion.”
Optimus’ finials perked up at his old name. He had not been called that in so long, not ever since…
“I missed you too, Dee.”
Megatron smiled softly and held up his servo for Optimus, who sat up and hit it with his own. As soon as Optimus had seemingly recovered, Megatron continued his plan, and this time, Optimus found his mind could not wander to any thought other than the bot right in front of him.
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ittybittyfanblog · 6 hours ago
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Error 404: (Self-Aware!AU, Sylus Edition) – Pt. 2
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Summary: A LADS self-aware!AU featuring Sylus and a–less–oblivious player. That’s it, that’s the plot. A/N: Ok, I’ve decided to make this by series, so this one’s just going to be purely Sylus. I hope nobody minds the specific names/places/etc. I wanted to create a personality for the “player” and add a bit of backstory work (loosely based on yours truly lol) for the sake of storytelling, but there won't be any distinct description of the player’s physical appearance <3 Tags: player!reader x sylus, fem!reader x sylus, reader x lads, self-aware!au, suggestive language, bouts of delusion
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Pt. 1 - Pt. 2
Riiiiing– RiiiNGGGGG––
“Huh… whazat—?” 
A shrill – earsplitting, headache-inducing, completely fucking loud – noise wakes you up rather rudely from your peaceful slumber at… Jesus Christ, what time is it? 
You blink your bleary eyes open, once… twice–fuck, all you know that it’s too goddamn early for all this ruckus. Groaning, you clumsily try to find the source of the unexpected wake-up call – quite literally in this case. 
Your hand bumps the vibrating phone straight off the edge of the mattress – along with the charger cord still attached to it – and you cuss up a storm when you hear it clatter on the hardwood floor.
The ringing finally stops, and you’re perfectly content to just leave it there and fall back to sleep when, not even ten seconds later, the blasted thing rings back to life, taunting you awake. 
Angrily, you wrestle against the threadbare blanket wrapped around your body like a warm cocoon, pushing yourself out of bed with all the rage of a sleep-deprived insomniac who’s been up til the buttcrack of dawn to grab your—huh, relatively intact—phone off the ground, while the charger cable swings haphazardly from the weight of the power brick on its tail end.  
Without checking the caller, you swipe right to answer. “What?” 
“Don’t use that tone on me, young lady,” Your mother grouses on the other end of the line. “It’s almost noon! Did you just wake up?” 
Barely five hours of sleep. Pinching the bridge of your nose, you shut your eyes and sigh. “No, mom. Sorry, just had a late night,” you clear your throat in an attempt to sound more composed. “What’s up?” 
“Oh, dear. Is it because of work again?” Something akin to sympathy replaces the sternness in her voice, and you dread the all-too-familiar spiel that comes next. “You know, honey, there’s a job opening for a– what was it again? I have to double check, but it’s where your Auntie Helen works. You know your Auntie Helen—” 
“Mom,” you interrupt, before she could go off on a tangent. “Work is fine, don’t worry. Why d’you call?” 
“Should I need a reason to call my only daughter who's living by her lonesome, a country away from—” 
“Mom!” 
“Oh, alright,” she finally relents, sounding slightly exasperated. “Were you able to book me and Jodie the roundtrip flight to Orlando? Your cousin’s wedding is barely a month away and I want all the documents ready by now, sweetie.” 
Shit. “Ah— yeah. I’ll email you the flight itinerary in a bit, I’m just–” you catch sight of your protruding hamper, innocuous but an eyesore nonetheless, right by the doorway of your humble studio unit. “I mean, I just left the condo. To do errands and stuff. I’ll send the details to you when I get back home, okay?” 
“Okay, honey,” she sighs. “You stay safe outside now. Don’t talk to strangers.” 
“I am a perfectly responsible adult—” The call disconnects. “Hello? Great.” 
You rub away the remnants of sleep from your eyes, fully aware that your day’s already started, despite your reluctance. Might as well get a head start on today’s agenda.
First thing’s first– brunch. Oh, it’s almost one. Lunch, then. I could maybe grab a hotdog from the corner store before heading to Landers. Oh wait, your laundry– gotta pass by the laundromat downstairs, too. Ugh, c’mon, chop-chop. 
Just as you’re about to stand up from your supine position on the floor, another ping! pulls your attention back to your phone. 
“Mom, I swear–” 
Ah, you’re finally awake. You’ve had a very long night, kitten. Take it easy for the day – make sure to get enough rest between errands.
I’ll know if you don’t.  
Your heart skips a beat.
Oh! Um. That’s… new. 
… Apparently another one on the growing list of “new features” from the latest update. It doesn't sound like an invitation for you to open the game, strangely enough. It's not a call to action to claim your daily stamina, nor a prompt for you to check your Galaxy Explorer rewards. 
It’s nothing more than a greeting, really. Just one that’s particularly targeted at you, with unnerving accuracy.
You recall the weird (?) events from last night, and the now-erratic beating of your heart suddenly picks up a notch. From the unexpected dialogues to the outrageous amount of dias you’ve somehow ended up with—something you still think is some kind of glitch in the system—you can’t shake the feeling that you’re living out the plot of a Black Mirror episode, as fucking dumb as that sounds. 
Not to mention during Quality Time, Sylus_v2.0 (as you so lovingly dub this version of him in your mind) had been acting more aware of you.
And you’re not talking about the pre-programmed glances that you usually get. No– it’s like he actually hears you. 
He doesn’t say anything. But whenever you make a comment, or utter something under your breath, he reacts with a huff or a hum–depending on the context. If it’s a slew of expletives aimed at your boss, the reaction you’re met with is one of amusement. A snort; sometimes a quiet laugh, if you’re lucky. When you say something self-deprecating, however, it elicits the heavier sighs, the sharp clicks of the tongue. 
At one point, you heard him make a low sound of dissent, something close to a.. growl, almost, after making a casual joke about being just another cog in the machine and how offing yourself wouldn’t really matter in the grand scheme of late capitalism. As you oft do. 
Your eyes met, and for a split second, it felt like you weren’t looking at just pixels. His gaze weighed heavy on you–almost accusatory. 
It made you feel… naked, somehow. Perceived. 
You recall how quickly you averted your eyes from his, face flushing hotly from a feeling you couldn’t put into words. 
Bone-tired from last night’s (morning) overtime, you didn’t have the time to look up news on this recent version update – although you really don’t remember any notifications in-game – so you quickly Google, “sylus acting sentient in rcent update loveamd Deepspace???” on your phone browser.
You scroll down for a bit, but none of the search results yield any relevancy, nor are they in any way similar to your current… predicament. 
(Okay, so calling it a predicament is a little unfair. You’re not exactly complaining about anything per se. No complaints from you. At all.)
Deciding that you’d do a deeper dive on Twitter (X) at a later time instead – probably tonight when you do your daily login – you briefly press the side button to lock your phone… not without a final peek at the banner notification from Sylus. 
You press your lips together in an effort to hold back the stupid giggle bubbling in your throat. 
Unfortunately, all the self-control in the world can’t help you and your need to have the last word – girl, from what even – so you ask aloud, to no one except the person you've deluded yourself into thinking is a valid recipient of your one-sided conversation: 
“... Yeah? And what if I don’t?” 
You’re not really waiting for a response (or were you?), but the nervous flutter in your stomach betrays the impatience you're trying to mask with casual indifference. It’s small, unassuming– but there. 
Impatient for what, exactly, you’re not sure. But maybe, just maybe—
Feeling a bit braver now, are we? How bold. Care to say that to my face, sweetheart?
Oh. 
Oh.
An inhuman noise escapes your throat, embarrassingly loud, almost a keen, and you fumble with the device in your hand; the new banner notification still in full view—taunting you. 
You don’t know what to think, you don’t know how to feel. You–
Spring up, like an agitated jack-in-a-box, and the sudden rush of blood in your head leaves you dizzy. You’re a molotov cocktail of emotions; one more bombshell and you might just blow. 
“I’m– later, okay? Uh,” Whew, girl, keep it together. “I need–I need to go.” You almost stumble as you speed walk towards the bathroom.
-
-
-
If you didn’t switch your phone to silent, didn’t make the conscious effort to ignore any incoming messages, notifications, and whatever else, in a rush to get dressed and go about your day just like any other weekend–nope, nothing unusual here–you would’ve seen one last cheeky reply:
Of course, sweetie. You take care now. 
Don’t talk to strangers. X
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Endnote: This one's pretty short, but I’m world-building, trust. 
Thanks for reading! 
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hard-core-super-star · 19 hours ago
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sudden desire [K.Bishop + Y.Belova]
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pairing: dom!yelena belova x sub!reader x switch!kate bishop
summary: after yelena dissapears on an unknown mission for a month, kate decides to take things into her own hands and encourage her to come home. things don't go exactly as planned for her on the blonde's return.
warnings: SMUT, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT! -> dom/sub dynamics; implied pet play {collars, yelena using 'pet' and 'kotenok'}; orgasm denial; bondage; fingering; oral; sex toys; a dash of overstimulation; praise + degredation; kate's a brat and proud of it; yelena's mean but a secret softie; a SEVERE lack of proof-reading!
wordcount: 4.8k
a/n: SURPRISE! kinktober may be over but i got too attached to this idea and had to finish it. i have so many thoughts and feelings about this fic but i will save them and let you guys read it and form your own opinions about this dynamic. personally, i am OBSESSED with them and i would love to expand this little universe a little more. despite this being mostly shameless smut, there are quite a few feelings involved, especially regarding yelena and how being in this dynamic helps her unwind in a way without things being strictly sexual. so yeah, there's a lot but i really hope you enjoy <3
* * * * * * *
It doesn't take a genius to figure out Yelena has been acting off for the past few weeks.
It isn't unusual for her to be a little distant. Still a little rough around the edges, thanks to the unbelievable amounts of trauma she keeps hidden inside herself. Things are different this time, though.
It's been days since she's shown up at the apartment, even longer since she's returned one of your calls. She never goes more than a few days without letting you know where she is, that she's okay and simply busy on whatever mission has taken her attention this time.
Kate tells you not to worry, that the Russian is probably just caught up in whatever mess she's discovered. You know better than that.
Unfortunately for the archer, you learned what the constant furrowing of her eyebrows means a long time ago.
Unfortunately for you, she's far too good at distracting you, always knowing exactly what to do, exactly what to say to steal all your thoughts away.
She can't fully erase your worry, though. Not that she'd even try, considering she feels the same way. Underneath all her stupid jokes, there's an edge of uncertainty she can't quite hide. It weighs her down more than anything else.
You both know Yelena could disappear in an instant if she wanted to. She could throw it all to the wind and never be heard from again if she so pleased.
She'd promised she wouldn't do it, though. Reassured you and Kate that after spending so long without a stable place to call home, she wanted to stay with you two. She wanted to be with you two.
It had taken very little to convince Kate to agree. Despite their rocky beginning, the chemistry they shared was obvious to even the most oblivious. Instead of being jealous about it like you maybe should have, you were intrigued and maybe more than a little attracted to it.
To them and the borderline overwhelming confidence they seem to exude together.
You've never been one for liking simple things, though, and the challenge of keeping them from going at each other's throats acts like an aphrodisiac most nights.
For all their bickering, they're surprisingly easy to manage. Except when it comes to the intricate play sessions Yelena enjoys setting up.
The details of what your relationship had turned into were mostly lost on you. All you knew was that whatever the Russian says goes...and Kate was bound to get punished for not doing as she was told.
As much as Yelena loves to complain about it, you all know she secretly loves it. Loves the thrill that comes with being in charge. That safe rush that takes over her mind and allows her to act without thinking. To command respect in a way she'd never experienced before.
It was a change of pace from what you were used to with Kate, that was for sure. Despite the uncharted territory, you'd gotten used to it far faster than you would have ever imagined. They both made it easy and there was something about the submission Yelena expected from you that made your heart race.
You'd never experienced anything like it before, but you couldn't deny how much you liked it. How much you craved it when she was gone.
Kate does what she can to make the time without the blonde more bearable. You're thankful for her, for the way she knows what you need without even having to ask, but it's not the same. A part of you feels guilty about it. Like there's something wrong with you for wanting to have both of your girlfriends with you.
The archer doesn't seem to mind, though. You know she feels the exact same way you do. As incredible as being with each other is, Yelena brings something different to your relationship. Something extra that you both thrive off of.
Maybe that's what makes Kate employ such...interesting persuasion tactics.
Once the days turn into weeks which turn into a month, the archer's patience wears thin. Just because you both know Yelena's silence must be due to a dangerous mission doesn't mean you're okay with the lack of communication.
Your impatience starts blending with Kate's and before you know it, you're caught in the middle of one of her "incredible" plans.
"Come on, babe," she says, her lips pulling into that all-familiar smirk. "Maybe all Yelena needs is a good incentive. Don't you want her to see what a good girl you're being for me?"
Her words do a good job convincing you, but they're not enough. You know all too well how cruel the Russian can be when she feels she's been disrespected. And the archer playing with you without permission is definitely off-limits.
It's hard to deny Kate when she's looking at you like that, though. With those sparkling eyes and that suggestive smirk.
"I don't know, Katie, it feels like a bad idea," you reply, ignoring the way she keeps leaning closer and closer to you.
"Maybe but bad ideas are the most fun, aren't they?"
You can't exactly argue with that, considering the many stupid things you've done together that have led to incredible pleasure. Although, truth be told, the archer is usually the one who has to bear the burden of whatever punishment comes after. You wish you could say you feel bad about that but...she is the one who comes up with most ideas.
You're in the middle of trying to form a response when Kate leans in to capture your lips in a heated kiss. It's impossible to stop yourself from kissing her back, your hands moving up to tangle in her messy hair.
You pull her closer to you until she's straddling your lap, practically trapping you between her and the couch. You'd love to complain, but she feels far too good against you for you to even try.
Her kisses make your mind spin until nothing remains except her. She knows this, of course, because she knows you so damn well.
When she pulls away, she's breathless yet somehow still smiling like you put the stars in the sky. "I think you're coming around to my idea."
She's not wrong but the smugness in her tone pisses you off a little. "I still think it's stupid."
"I never said it wasn't." Kate rolls her hips, tantalizingly grinding down against you. "But I promise you'll have a good time."
You groan as your head leans back against the couch with a soft thump. "You're gonna get us in so much trouble."
"Yelena loves her little troublemakers, though."
"Oh my God, please stop talking."
"Not until you agree." Her lips find their way onto your jaw, pressing soft kisses and teasing bites to your skin. "...please."
It's a low blow and he knows it, but it's impossible to deny the archer when she asks for things so nicely. "Ugh, fine, just don't tie the ropes so tight this time."
Kate agrees and before you know it, you're naked and tied up with the purple rope the archer loves to use on you. To top everything off, she wrapped her collar around your neck, something that was bound to get a reaction out of the Russian.
You and Kate were her pets and while she allowed the archer to stake some claims of dominance over you, this one was off-limits. Not that Kate cared much. She was usually a lot better at doing things behind the blonde's back, though.
What Yelena didn't know didn't hurt her, but now, she was about to be dragged into something she wasn't going to be very happy to see.
Sending her pictures of the evidence is one thing, but Kate wants more. She always does.
So, she brings out more toys, stuffing your cunt with a thick dildo and pressing a relentless vibrator to your puffy clit. The pleasure is more than enough to drown out your thoughts and objections which means you barely flinch when Kate takes her phone out again. She records the way you squirm for her, the way you moan her name like a prayer, and then, to top it all off, she sends the videos to a very pissed off Russian.
It takes a while for the consequences of the archer's actions to catch up to you.
Since Yelena's obviously busy, it takes her a few days to come back. You're not home when she arrives, having gone out to run a quick errand, but Kate is. 
Which means you're met with quite the situation on your return.
The second you close the apartment door behind you, you're slammed against it, a gentle yet firm hand wrapping itself around your throat. You freak out for about a second until your senses catch up to reality and the smoky scent of Yelena's cologne hits your nose.
Almost instantly, you relax into her hold and meet her dark green eyes. There are so many words on the tip of your tongue, but you can tell she's not in the mood for it. Her mind is completely set on the scene she already started without you.
"Hi, detka. Did you miss me?"
You do your best to nod despite how difficult her grip on your throat makes it.
"Yes? Well, that is not what Kate Bishop told me a few days ago. She said you were being a naughty slut for her."
Her words make your heart drop into your stomach. You knew Kate's plan was stupid, but you didn't think she would throw you under the bus like that. What a cheeky little traitor.
"Do not worry, kotenok, Kate and I already worked things out. Would you like to see?"
Without waiting for a response, she moves her hand from your throat to your hand, gently tugging on it to lead you toward the living room. You go with her and your eyes are instantly drawn to Kate's figure on the couch, tied up in a pattern strikingly similar to the one she'd used on you mere days ago.
The biggest difference, though, is the large, purple dildo stuffed inside her cunt. Just from looking at her, you know exactly what her punishment is going to be for stepping out of line the way she did. You have to admit, though, she looks incredible like this. Gagged and wearing her purple collar with the leash attached.
"What do you think?" Yelena asks, her tone giving away how proud she is of herself.
"She looks good," you reply, earning yourself a smile from the Russian and a muffled whine from the archer.
As much as you sympathize with Kate, you can't say you didn't warn her.
A soft squeeze to your hand makes you turn to look at Yelena again. There's a familiar softness in her features as she looks at you, almost as if she's trying to read you, trying to figure out if you're on the same page as her. You know where that insecurity comes from and you're more than ready to wipe any and all doubts from her mind.
It's easier said than done, though, and the first step is always the hardest.
Thankfully, Yelena takes it for you.
"Kneel."
It's a single word, barely a command, but the storms hidden in her green eyes don't lie. She needs this just as much as you need her.
So, even though you crave comfort more than submission right now, you do exactly what she says. You drop down onto your knees in the middle of the living room, doing your best to ignore the way Kate squirms on the couch.
Yelena steps forward, her hand reaching out to caress your face. "You look so good like this, malishka. You understand pets should be seen and not heard, right? Or do I need to teach you a lesson too?"
You shake your head, not feeling particularly enthused about receiving a punishment already. Then again, you're sure if the blonde really wanted to, she'd do it anyway, regardless of your good behavior.
"Good."
It's not entirely praise, but her voice carries a twinge of affection that makes Kate whine. You don't know what happened between them, what exactly the archer did to piss off the blonde so much, but you know she's paying for it now. Which means, in some weird way, you're paying for it too.
Yelena admires you for a long moment, silently watching your reactions, watching the way you submit deeper and deeper with eveyr second that goes by. She loves Kate, she really does, but there's something about the ease with which she can control you that does things to her that she can't explain.
It's not about the pleasure. At least, not fully.
It's not even about the power she holds over you right now.
It's about the control. About being able to not worry and know you'll do exactly what she wants.
She doesn't have to guess or think too hard. 
You're both on opposite ends of the same spectrum. You both need each other to stop the fears and the worries. To quiet your thoughts until nothing remains but each other...and the whiny, puppy-like switch squirming on the couch.
It's strange, but it works. You all work. And it's absolutely terrifying because none of you have ever experienced anything like this before. You've never wanted anything the way you want each other.
"What do you want from me tonight, detka?" The blonde asks, her voice still soft despite the hardness on her face. "I will give you anything you desire."
Her words carry far more weight than you want to think about right now. You want to simply focus on the scene. On the role you have to play here.
It's hard, though, when Yelena's looking at you with an adoration that rivals Kate's. It's not like the Russian doesn't love you. You know she does. She just shows it in ways that aren't super compatible with you.
Right now, though...right now, it's working for you far more than it should be. All you can think about is how much you missed her, how badly you want to be under her control once more.
You're not sure how to articulate what you're looking for. All you can do is hope the blonde can make sense of the messy thoughts in your head.
"I just want you," you reply, your words a touch too vulnerable for your liking. "Want you to take control. To touch me until I can't take it anymore."
After spending the past few weeks taking orders from rich people who pay well but don't understand what it takes to kill a person, your request sounds like music to her ears. It's almost laughable how easy it'll be to fufill your desires, to give you exactly what you want until you can't think about anything else but her.
"I can work with that," she says, the corners of her mouth curling up into a wicked smirk. "As long as you are okay without Kate Bishop?"
The question catches you a little off-guard. Not because you're particuarly in need of the stubborn archer, but because she is. Yelena's a good domme, no one can deny that, and yet she hesitates to use you without Kate breathing down her neck.
She must be really pissed off if she wants to keep her off to the side and away from the action.
"Yeah, I'm okay with that." Your words are true, but you can't deny your curiosity so you push a little more. "Is she only allowed to watch?"
"Until I decide she has learned her lesson."
 Yelena's response makes Kate cry out again. All the blonde has to do is look up and glare to get her to quiet down. It's scary how angry she seems to be...and also really, really hot.
Especially when she looks back down at you and her eyes soften. "Present yourself for me, kotenok. Remind me what I have been missing."
You don't waste any time in scrambling into position. Kate's eyes seem to burn through you while you get onto your hands and knees in front of Yelena, pushing your ass back just a little. 
Despite the clothes you're still wearing, you feel incredibly exposed.
That feeling only intensifies as the blonde walks around you, circling you slowly and taking in every inch of your body. You're not sure where to look, stuck between wanting to duck your head in a show of submission and keeping your eyes on Kate, watching the frustration that blooms across her beautiful features.
Thankfully, Yelena doesn't like keeping you guessing. She enjoys clear commands, leaving none of you with doubts about what she's looking for. "Keep your eyes on her, datka. You too, Kate Bishop."
You let out a hum in response while the archer in front of you huffs and squirms around in her restraints. You have to admit...the sight is incredible.
The Russian settles behind you, a callused hand reaching out to caress down your spine. It takes you a second longer to realize you feel more than just her hand. However, as soon as the thought hits you, she steals them all away with a precise slice of her trusty combat knife.
It shouldn't be surprising, and yet you still gasp, your back arching while she cuts away your clothes. "Do not worry, detka, Kate Bishop will you buy a new outfit. Isn't that right, pet?"
Kate all but glares at you. You know it's not about you. Whatever issues they're having are unfortunatly being worked out through you, but you're not the problem. Hell, maybe there isn't even a problem. Maybe they're just having fun pushing back against each other because they can.
You honestly don't know. But the uncertainty makes everything all the more pleasurable. At least for you. You're not sure the archer can say the same thing.
Yelena makes quick work of your clothes, allowing them to drop to the ground and reveal your dripping cunt. You can't see her smirk, but you feel it in the way her fingers skim over your skin. Light enough to tease but hard enough to remind you not to move. To stay nice and still while she has her fun.
"Look at you. So desperate already. You truly amaze me, kotenok. Always so ready for me to use your pretty holes."
Your walls clench around pure air, making the smirk on the blonde's face grow wider. She can't stop herself from sinking onto her knees behind you and reaching out to touch you.
Two fingers tease and prod at your entrance while she watches you shake and shudder under her touch. She spreads your lips apart just to watch the way your cunt flutters around nothing. A part of her wants to draw this out, you're sure of it, but she's missed you just as much as you've missed her. (Maybe more, but she'd never admit that out loud. Especially not with Kate around)
"You are so good for me, so perfect. All for me to use."
You open your mouth to reply, more out of instinct than a need to say something, but all that comes out is borderline pathetic moan as the blonde works her fingers into your pussy. 
She sets a slow pace, almost as if she's taking her time exploring you. The slow speed does little to soothe the fire burning low in your belly but it does help ease your desperation. Not by much, of course, and you're sure the blonde knows that.
Almost as if on cue, Yelena's other hand joins the fun, thumb drawing circles on your sensitive clit. The action catches you off-guard and you barely manage to balance yourself instead of falling face-first onto the ground below you.
Your reaction makes her laugh, but what really entertains her is the struggle Kate is visibly going through. 
The archer has always thrived off your pleasure. Always gotten off on your desperate sounds, on the way you lose control over your body, on the palpable desperation that stretches itself over your features. Today is no different. Except for the fact she can't get off.
Sure, her cunt is stuffed full and the dildo keeps rubbing up against her in the best way whenever she squirms around too much, but it's not nearly enough. Her clit throbs painfully, swollen and in desperate need of attention. She won't be getting anything right now, though. Not until Yelena decides she's learned her lesson...or until Kate manages to make herself cum.
"Look at her, malyshka. And here I thought you were the needy one."
You do look at Kate, more out of habit than anything else. She's a vision. Flushed, desperate, and so squirmy it's a miracle she hasn't fallen off the couch.
The sight of her makes you clench around Yelena's fingers, greedily trying to pull them in deeeper. Neither of you are surprised, but it does make the blonde a little more competitive than usual.
She suddenly increases her speed, curling her fingers just enough to have you pushing back against her in search of more. "Such a greedy little pet. You are lucky I like seeing you like this. Although..."
Her words trail off and you instantly know she's coming up with something new. Some other way of making you submit to her, of playing with both of you until Kate stops trying to be a smartass. You doubt that'll happen, but you know Yelena will try anyway.
Whatever the Russian comes up with, she doesn't say anything more, instead going right back to fucking into your cunt. She works a third finger into your walls, stretching you on the digits while she mercilessly rubs your clit.
You can feel it building. The pleasure reaching and reaching toward a fever pitch that will leave you fuzzy-headed and thoughtless. It's so close. You open your mouth, obediently getting ready to ask for permission like a good pet, when suddenly...she removes her fingers from you.
You try your hardest to hold on to some semblance of composure, but you can't. Not when you were so close and full and feeling so good.
A whine makes its way out of your throat and you promptly earn yourself a hard smack to your ass.
"Do not be a brat. You do not want to join Kate Bishop, correct?"
Your response is instantaneous. "No. I'm sorry."
"I know you are, kotenok. But I still need you to behave, okay?"
You nod and Yelena smiles at your quick change of mood. She doesn't say anything else, merely motions for you to crawl forward, toward Kate and the mess between her legs.
Your body moves before you can even comprehend what you're doing. You crawl toward the archer, coming to a stop right between her spread legs, courtesy of Yelena shifting her around until she was sitting up. You tilt your head back to look up at the blonde, waiting slightly impatiently for her command.
You have a feeling you already know what it's going to be.
Yelena takes her time, though. Pretending to be busy adjusting Kate's posture and spreading her thighs for you to see the mess she's made of herself.
Once she's satisfied, and your nose is full of the scent of the archer's arousal, she finally tells you to move. "You know what to do, detka. Make the brat scream your name."
If Kate has any objections, they're swallowed up by her moans once your tongue finds its way onto her clit. It practically pulses beneath you and you waste no time wrapping your lips around the bud and sucking. Hard.
The archer tries to squirm away from you, caught somewhere between her sensitivity and her desperate need for an orgasm. Yelena holds her steady while she keeps her eyes on you. She doesn't really need to, she already knows you know what to do.
You technically don't have permission to touch so you put all your focus into making Kate fall apart with just your mouth. The frantic bucking of her hips tells you all you need to know about how she's feeling. You've never been so jealous of a dildo before, wishing it was your fingers she was clenching around instead.
The archer doesn't seem to mind, though, head thrown back against Yelena, muffled whines leaving her gagged mouth. Whatever the blonde is saying to her is a mere whisper, a secret between them, perfectly crafted to make her fall apart.
You double your efforts, sucking her clit and dragging your tongue along the surface. Your eyes are glued to her face, to the pleasure that spreads along every inch of it, to the rapid heaving of her chest as she tries to keep herself under control. It's useless, though. You all know she's on the edge of losing her composure. Of letting her usual brattiness fade away until all that remains is Yelena's power over her.
Kate's shaking increases in intensity, giving away just how close she is to falling apart. She can't exactly ask for permission due to being gagged but then again, she doesn't need to. Yelena already knows. She always knows.
"Come on, Kate Bishop. Do not tell me you forgot the rules already. I was hoping I would be able to reward you for doing such a good job."
The archer bucks into your mouth, making you moan against her. The vibrations do little to soothe the burning in her core and it takes all her willpower to not fall apart right then and there.
All she can do, though, is let out a string of incoherent mumbles, tinged with a whiny edge that makes Yelena smirk. Those sounds are nowhere near the words she's meant to be saying, the desperate begging the blonde loves hearing from her.
"It sounds like someone does not want the reward I'm offering. What a shame..." She trails off purposely, doing it just to mess with the archer's head.
Kate bites. Of course, she does. As much as she loves to pretend, and as stubborn as she can be most days, she loves this. Loves the rush that comes with the blonde's power over her. There's pleasure in the pushback, but it's when she lets go that she truly feels the weight of it.
You don't slow down for a second. You know it makes things much harder for your girlfriend, but you can't really help it. You're intoxicated by the smell of her, by the taste of her never-ending arousal.
She continues to let out strings of mumbles and whines, each sound growing more desperate than the last. Her thighs shake uncontrollably, giving away just how much she's struggling to hold her orgasm off.
As mean as Yelena can be sometimes, she's not cruel. She only drags the moment out for a few extra seconds before her hand curls into Kate's hair, dragging her head back to expose her delicate throat. "I know, I know. Go ahead, cum for me, darling. You did good."
It's unclear which part of the Russian's words gets to the archer, but it doesn't matter, the effect is the same.
Her whole body stills for a second, a strangled cry getting caught in her throat as she comes undone.
You moan with her which helps drag out the pleasure crashing into her like waves. You work overtime to lap up her release, drinking in her essence and soothing her overwhelming sensitivity as best as you can. It doesn't seem to work considering how violent her shaking becomes, but you don't have any complaints.
Yelena's hand somehow finds its way onto your hair next and she pulls you off the whining archer. "Such a good pet for me. Good girl, kotenok. Will you help me with Kate? She is...a little out of it."
You know what she means. Mainly because you can see it but also because of the way the blonde drops off Kate's last name. You're not fully sure why she has such a fascination with using your girlfriend's full name all the time. All you know is her habit instantly dissapears when the archer's submissive side comes out.
It's not too surprising, though, considering how badly Kate craves comfort and connection in those moments.
A part of you wants to complain since you still haven't gotten your orgasm, but you know better.
You stand up on shaky legs and help Yelena untie the brunette. Leaving the collar on is a no-brainer and even though her whines are pitiful, you slide the dildo out of her.
You pepper kisses across her skin the entire time, instantly recognizing how glossy her eyes are, how far away her mind seems to be. She's as beautiful as ever, in your opinion.
In no time, the three of you are snuggled up in bed. Kate's still really floaty, you're on the edge of going totally fuzzy, and Yelena is happier than she's been in weeks. 
Maybe it's weird but you really don't fucking care. Not when Kate's head is resting in your lap and you're completely relaxed lounging in between Yelena's legs.
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10piecechickenmcnugget · 2 hours ago
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(hi chat. i wrote a fic about oli cameo-ing in wild life. it’s about 1k words. lizzie jimmy and scar are in it. it gets a little sad. i hope you enjoy it)
Oli snickered at the absolutely dumbfounded expression currently being given to him by none other than Jimmy Solidarity.
“Hiya Tim. Did you miss me?”
Jimmy continued to stare with his jaw halfway to the void. “What- you- you’re not- how are you here?”
Oli just grins, sitting back and crossing his legs with what he hopes is an annoyingly smug expression. Judging by the way Jimmy’s eyes flash, it’s working.
“I’m just that special. Being practically god and all, I thought I should pay a visit to my sweet sweet boy.” Oli waves a hand, tilting his head. Jimmy looks cute when he’s confused.
“Does Grian know you’re here?”
Oli grins. “Who do you think invited me?”
If Jimmy wasn’t in shock before, he certainly is now. “Grian. Brought you. Here. To his death games.”
Oli swings his legs absently. “Someone had to write a song for that little trivia bot. 2 of them, actually. In one day. Not sure how I pulled that one off, not to mention the snails.”
Jimmy dissolves into a fit of nonsensical babbling, and Oli can’t help but it burst into laughter again. While Jimmy processes this, Oli decides it’s about time he takes a look around. He hops off the block he’s sitting on, spinning around slowly to take in Jim’s base.
It’s cutesy, he decides, and almost painfully familiar. The cherry theming, the hilltop location, the giant animal statues. It always comes back to death and canaries, somehow. Oli can’t figure out how Jimmy keeps getting away with this. He walks slowly, dramatically sweeping around to take everything in. Listening to cherry petals shift under his feet and trying to drown out the phantom sound of explosions in his head. Jimmy has stopped talking, and is staring at him as he wanders. Oli flashes him a smile. Jim just looks apprehensive.
Oli doesn’t blame him. He’s not supposed to be here, even by Grian’s standards. And mathematically, Oli has an infinite amount of kills per death games he’s been in. He’s not a player, and as such he can’t die. He’s immune to Grian’s wildcards and rules. He’s practically a god, in a way, which is not really something he’s ever experienced. It would be more fun if he was allowed to stay. Maybe he can write another song.
Deciding there isn’t much more to look at, Oli turns fully to Jimmy. It’s uncomfortably quiet. Oli is about to make another quip when the silence is broken.
“Oli? What on earth are you doing here?”
If Oli thought seeing Jimmy messed with his head, hearing Lizzie calling out for him is like a shot to the brain. Even so, he can’t help but smile as he turns around to meet her.
“Lizzie!”
She runs up the hill towards him, slightly out of breath, transparent wings twitching in an all too familiar way. She pauses a few paces away, shooting him a grin.
“I knew those stupid snails sounded familiar. Joel recognized you first. How did you even get here?”
Pretending the mention of Joel doesn’t make him want to explode, Oli just shrugs. “Grian invited me. Voiced some snails, made some songs, and thought I’d come by and cause problems before he kicks me out again.”
Lizzie rolls her eyes. “To be honest, I’m surprised he hasn’t.”
“Well, I am technically God now, so…”
“Is that right.” Smoothing out her dress, Lizzie moves closer, forming a small triangle with the three of them. Jimmy still looks befuddled and Lizzie has that same mischievous glint in her eyes she always does, and Oli is suddenly very homesick. Is that even the right word? Home is where the heart is, or something.
“Yep! 100%, genuine, certified, bona fide God. Can’t die, and my snails wreaked havoc like none other.”
“You’ve got me there.”
“So,” Oli claps his hands together. “This is your guys’s base? Very cherry-esque. Draw inspiration from anyone?”
Lizzie puts her hands on her hips. “Hey! Pink has been my thing since we were kids. Cherry biomes were made for me. I’ve been making cherry wood houses since before your stupid hog.”
“How dare you!” Oli gasps, putting a hand over his chest. “My hog was not stupid, he was magnificent. And pink was my thing too! I had pink hair for a while there, remember?”
“Yeah, cause of me! I’m the only reason you dye your hair at all! And besides, you don’t even die it pink anymore after-”
Lizzie cuts herself off suddenly, eyes wide, and Oli freezes in place. Jimmy looks taken aback by the sudden tension, looking nervously between the two of them.
After what feels like years, Oli exhales. “… Yeah. Alright. Pink is your thing.”
“Oli…”
Oli turns around suddenly, walking purposefully towards the large birds marking the front of their base. He adjusts the little green halo floating just above his hair, which is notably not pink. “These are cute.”
Lizzie, forever hyperaware of Oli’s incessant need to avoid his problems, just sighs. “Aren’t they?”
And just like that, it never even happened. Jimmy eventually realizes he’s never getting any answers, and joins in the banter, helping Lizzie take Oli on an official tour of their base. Eventually Scar returns, resulting in a 20 minute long argument that ends with Lizzie half dragging Oli down the hill and towards the cave BAM has claimed as their own. Lizzie bitterly shows him where her snail first made an attempt on her life, and Oli’s apology is ruined by the fact that he can’t stop snickering.
Eventually Lizzie drags him back up to the surface, and all too fast for Oli’s liking it’s nightfall. Scar unhelpfully comments that they’ll need their sleep to deal with whatever horrors will happen next session, and that Grian will probably be on Oli’s case soon.
Reluctantly, Oli says his goodbyes. And if he hugs Lizzie just a little too long, she doesn’t comment on it. And if his heart isn’t quite in the jokes he makes at Jimmy’s expense, no one says anything.
He doesn’t really know where he’s going. He’s not entirely sure how he got there at all, to be honest. He supposes he’ll have to track down Grian and ask. He doesn’t want to leave, he’s getting awfully tired of finally finding his friends just to lose them again.
Maybe Grian will add him to the next season.
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toytulini · 6 months ago
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if you draw enough monster ocs, when you go back to drawing a human character, it feels like "sameface syndrome" everytime, by virtue of their face being. human.
#toy txt post#or maybe i am just sameface syndrome#but also different face syndrome#two characters will have the same face but then the next time i draw those characters its a different face than they had last time!#i know part of it is being out of practice but also there is definitely an element of feeling constrained by human facial structure lmao#the monsters have Their Own Problems but like. no one has a face like bokrae no matter how inconsistent i am about drawing her#her features are iconic enough to her that you can tell everytime#birdie???? i faceclaimed eartha kitt for her and im still struggling cos i feel weird about faceclaiming as a concept#but even then 😭 one time i was trying to give headloose a face and someone was like wow he looks like birdie!#me 😭😭😭😭😭 what!!!!!! hes not supposed to!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i need to practice. features#you know the worst part about coming up w a bunch of fuckin Scenarios in my brain for ocs is that i have even fucking Drawn them yet#to give them like. iconic staple features and figure out what their faces look like. which feels like it would really help to have that#knowledge and muscle memory before i jump into trying to draw intense scenes with difficult poses!!#not to mention. listen. i can do the monster faces. somewhat. the bodies??????????? well for one. theyre too big everytime#im convinced i could be trying to draw bokrae on like a full ass wall size paper like a mural thing and run out of room. it just keeps#happening. i have no sense of scale for them either. by which i mean i struggle w scale already and also cant decide what i want it to be#and ive tried to handwave it away by being like ohhh uh. birdie casts spells on them to change their sizes for convenience but also#no. perhaps that explanation works for other ppl. @ myself tho its not good enough i Know Better!!!!!!#agh!!!!!!! i really need to figure out bokrae's Teeth also. like i dont. i coukd get away with it. but i should. and i want to.#anyway all this to say that i need to give these characters faces and body designs (actually the body designs for humanoid ocs is the easy#part. the faces are whats stumping me? well. i need more practice w all the body types again but like i Know what im Going For at least.#for the most part anyway. havent fully figured out heights. struggling w characters that i want to make short but give imposing tall energy#on occasion? birdie can be short all day long no problem. I want Alasdair to be short enough that he has a bunch of short boyfriends that#feel tall around him? bytte was going to be like 6ft max but then i thought about making her taller and like. what if i made her taller#headloose is not that /short/ but he is Not Tall and prolly pretty lean? twink build for sure#and of course all these short /tall distinctions come with a bias of relativity to my own height which i categorize as medium height#but short ppl call me tall and insist its not average and tall ppl call me short. (5'6) and then i have to factor in how the gender changes#the dynamic of a height like my height is Short For A Man but medium to tall for a Woman. which id argue is medium height bc mens heights#are socially held to high standards (hehe) and also i know ethnicity/race is also a factor? but im out of tags. rip. bye
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silkjade · 28 days ago
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Hope you're doing okay. Idk what prompted you to private stuff but please ignore the anon who called you dramatic. In the end it's your blog and you're free to do what you want and be as dramatic as you feel
oh ! thank you for writing this, i promise i am okay ^^;; that anon ask didn't affect me at all, because i really did find it funny to be called out like that lolz, so no need to worry >< and you are so right this is my blog i can do whatever i want !! so thank you sm for looking out for me and sending this in regardless, i really appreciate it <3
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dontwanderoff · 5 months ago
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im considering making percy jackson the next class novel in my class but like, do i think the kids will actually enjoy it and that they're definitely the right age for it OR am i just wanting to do it because i want to read it???
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boatswainscall · 1 year ago
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Nothing makes me feel immediate overpowering resentment and envy like hearing about people who have D&D campaigns that last years. Meanwhile every campaign I've ever done with my friends has choked and died four sessions in due to schedules getting too fucked and tangled to maintain ANY kind of consistent play schedule
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mars-ipan · 1 year ago
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i sometimes think that in spite of my mental stuff i have a very good handle on myself and especially my impulsivity and then i look at how i consume media
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the-gay-prometheus · 3 months ago
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Do people realize this isn't unique to Disney? Cuz this is not unique to Disney. Other corporations are already doing this and this isn't new. Wish there could've been this big of a reaction about it before someone actually died 🙃
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#I remember like last year(?) or something McDonald's added the same clause to their app#and i think a bunch of other companies followed - I can't recall if Disney added theirs before or after McD's#i feel like it was after. but anyways. the point is - this isn't unique to Disney.#a bunch of other companies figured out they could do this shit and decided to sneakily add it into their terms and conditions#because “well if you don't agree to it then you can just not use the app :)”#which is bs. Disney makes it so there are shows only available on D+ with actual canonical implications to other media-#and then freak out about any and all pirating. so if you want to indulge in the Content™ you “have to” use the streaming service#and therefore “have to” sign the agreement.#the McDonald's example is especially heinous imho because in some places McD's was and still is the only place-#to be able to buy a meal with enough calories to last you a full day for cheap.#but then they jacked up their prices and made it so the only way you could still get a full day's meal for cheap is to use the app#which means they are specifically targeting the most vulnerable individuals-#by making it so you *cannot* use the app without agreeing to never sue them.#like literally even if you had the app for forever before they changed the terms and conditions#they signed you out forced you to agree to the terms and conditions before you could use the app again.#corporations have been doing this shit. folks tried to warn people about it back then but nobody listened until a woman fucking died#unfortunately as far as i am aware what corporations are doing is completely legal and this cannot be stopped.#you as the consumer are technically required to fully read the terms and conditions (even though no one does)#when you click “i agree” that is - as far as I'm aware - legally binding.#and these apps are technically not necessities so by all means legally the companies can say “well then simply don't use these apps”#so if you decide to use the apps or streaming services or whatever-#then you are also deciding “of your own volition” to agree to an arbitration agreement.#and then you can't get them in trouble for having the arbitration agreement by claiming ignorance-#because technically you said that you knew about it when you clicked “i agree”
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actual-corpse · 6 months ago
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I.
Want.
A.
Fucking.
CHEESEBURGER
#living that 'no red meat' life be like...#id love to fully convert over to pescatarian but FISH IS SO EXPENSIVE#so i suffer with poultry (i am not a poultry fan)#but#and#then i see these people eating the red meat#and im like... damn.... vegetarians are.... oof#bc cutting ALL meats? i can BARELY cut red!#but i am losing weight (probably not entirely related... correlation causation bla blah*)#*i HAVE cut a LOT of fast food trips and soda and have just watched my food intake bc ive decided to make a change....#and ya know#it really proves to me that i CAN change! i CAN improve if I truly want to try!!!#and thats what matters#the ability to follow through!#and i think....#idk#it gives me hope#ive gone back to doing things I like. watching things I enjoy!!#i can watch Trixie Mattel again! (my ex and his friends are Cringe [derogatory]... I actually couldnt watch anything I liked... It was alway#shitty YouTubers talking about Magic The Gathering and Pokemon... and I couldnt object...#i was nothing but a live in maid and when I couldn't do that I got ignored... I wasnt treated well and I guess I set myself up for that but#it still wasnt right! I DESERVE BETTER GOD DAMNIT)#anyway#i REALLY want some shitty McDonald's burgers rn i stg im so fucking glad I live 20mins out of town bc I am so tempted rn#it is ONE AM... The MACCAS WITCHING HOUR! I AM HUNGY... and thursity#but I have a 40 pack of water in my car (I cant afford a LifeStraw filter pitcher and I NEED one for safe water)#byyyyeeee
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mahgyu · 4 months ago
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──── In the beginning of your relationship, you learned that Satoru was the type who liked to sleep cuddling. Before meeting you, Satoru used to sleep hugging a pillow, even. It wasn't exactly a necessity for him, but just something he liked and that made him fall asleep faster. You, on the other hand, weren't exactly that type.
Hugs before sleeping? Perfect. Having someone on top of you while trying to sleep? Not so perfect. Fortunately, the two of you reached an agreement about that.
But sometimes, like today, Satoru was extremely clingy. He was sleeping deeply, with his body completely on top of yours, his face buried in the curve of your neck, and a leg trapped between yours.
You loved holding him that way, having the strongest man you had ever known so vulnerable curled up in your arms and sleeping peacefully. Satoru slept heavily when he felt that comfortable, and the deeper he slept, the heavier he became on you. As mentioned, your boyfriend is a strong guy, so now it was almost uncomfortable for you.
You feel this pressure against your chest as he rests on you, completely at ease. You thought that maybe, if you tried hard enough, you could fall asleep, but no, it’s not possible.
"Baby..." You whisper, hoping it will be enough to wake him, but he just keeps snoring, each snore reverberating through your body.
"Toru...?" You try again, a little louder.
"SATORU!" Still nothing. He barely moves a bit in his sleep, letting out a particularly loud snore.
OK. Plan B. If you can't get him off, it's time to slide down. Only after two unsuccessful attempts, you somehow manage to do it, taking a big breath as you escape. You haven't even fully turned to the side when Satoru wakes up, confused and abandoned, with the source of warmth under him gone. He moves his hand aimlessly over the sheets until he feels you.
"Where are you going?" He murmurs sleepily, moving closer to you. "No..." A heavy arm wraps around you, pulling you back to him with ease. There’s a soft hum as he feels your body fit into his.
"Toru?" You call him sweetly. "You know I can't sleep like this, hmm? Come on." You pat his arm, signaling for him to let you go.
Satoru doesn't move. Instead, he just makes some whiny sounds before rubbing his face in your hair.
"Come on, let me go, please?" More pleading.
"Nuh-uh, I don't want to." He whines. "Hug me." He pouts, looking so needy and neglected.
"Love, you're acting like a baby" You complain.
"Because I am. I'm your baby!" He says defiantly. "So, you should treat me like one."
At this point, you know it won't help to try to convince him when he's in this mood. You sigh, deciding to give up and give in.
About five minutes pass in complete silence and then Satoru quietly asks: "You really can't sleep?" The thought of this now bothers him. How could he relax knowing that you're not even comfortable?
"Mhm" You respond as he pulls separates from you.
"OK, I'll give up the hug time for you!" He sighs, rolling away from you dramatically. A few minutes later, he sighs again, a bit louder.
This is his cue to tell you that you should give in and cuddle with him. But you can't, having finally found a position that relaxes all the right places in your body, perfect for falling asleep.
"Are you really going to leave me abandoned?" His voice is so stupidly captivating that it makes you melt. You can't say no to that.
Satoru smiles when he hears the rustling of the sheets, your body moving toward him.
With open arms, he welcomes you back as you rest your head on his chest. "I think I can sleep like this..." You admit as he smiles, making sure you're comfortable but still wrapped up in him.
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Hiii, long time no see, uh? 👀This time I brought something cute, a thought I had because I've been feeling so needy and missing our Gojo😞
(It is not well corrected, please ignore any possible mistakes.)
Your interaction is very important to me, reblogs and comments are always welcome. 🫶🏻💕
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five-bi-five-mind · 2 months ago
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PLEASE MAKE SUGAR MOMMY!WANDA. It can be when she already left Westview and is now living a lonely life alone missing her children. Then there goes new neighbor R who just left home and is struggling financially OMG!
I loved every single one of your Wanda fics and I'll never shut up about it 👀
Everything Again
Fandom: Marvel
Pairing: Wanda Maximoff & fem!Reader
Genre: Smut & Dark-ish fic
Words: 8K+
Summary: Wanda has nothing in her life that brings her joy once she let go of Westview, but then she meets you. She makes sure to be everything you want and need, and you’re all she needs… for a while. But what happens when some of her wants from Westview come creeping back? Can Wanda suppress it or will she do whatever it takes to have everything she wants again?
Warnings: light stalking, not the healthiest relationship, Wanda is controlling, toxic!Wanda, mind manipulation, top!Wanda, bottom!R, rough sex, magic strap-on, slight breeding kink, degradation, magic restraints, light choking, slight dubcon, maybe possibly unknown risk of pregnancy but no actual pregnancy.
A/N: I hate this title but I couldn't think of a better one... Anyways I kinda took a dark turn with this request that's my bad. Enjoy folks!
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When Wanda saw you, she knew she had to have you. It was like the stars aligned all of a sudden and a splash of color came into her bleak world for once since leaving Westview. She’d been wandering all over since that… incident. All she felt for months was this horrible, nagging, hollowness and she had no idea how to solve it. Part of her wondered if she filled this void with something to at least stave off the boredom, maybe it would be better. But so far, her only method of occupying her time was figuring out the scope of her power. And every time she dabbled with that it just felt like the hole inside her ripped open even deeper. 
She had made her way to a small college town when she bumped into you. Or, more accurately, when you smacked into her, your eyes glued to your phone at the time. When your body collided with Wanda’s she felt anger bubble inside her for a moment and that familiar tingle at her fingertips as she decided how she might act in response to your inconsideration.  But when your panicked eyes looked up at hers, suddenly it was like the fuse inside her was doused with ice cold water. 
Wanda couldn’t help but smirk at your immediate apologetic response once you realized you were now fully pressed against an utter stranger. At the time, you were so panicked over the email you had just received that you forgot to look up. But when you felt strong hands bracing your elbows as you hit another person’s body like hitting a brick wall, it brought you crashing into reality. The guilt and embarrassment you felt were burning on your cheeks, but the eyes that met yours were only angry for a brief moment. After yours locked with hers they shifted from anger to surprise and then, curiously enough for the both of you, to intrigue. 
“I– I am so sorry,” you sputtered as you attempted to take a step back. Key word there was attempted. To your confusion, the woman in front of you didn’t seem to want to let go. 
It surprised Wanda too, but not in a bad way. The moment she heard your voice things lit up even more. That splash of color turned into a sea and she didn’t want to let go just yet. Her hands wrapped tighter around your elbows and for a moment she didn’t even care that it could possibly startle you. She just knew that for some odd reason, having you, this wide-eyed, terrified random girl she bumped into on the street, was bringing part of her back to life in a way. 
“Are you okay?” Wanda still didn’t let go. If anything, she pulled you ever so slightly closer as she swore she could feel your heartbeat like crazy against her own chest.  
“Oh, um, yes.” You again attempted to take a step back. “Thank you, um…”
“Wanda,” she replied and finally dropped her hold on you. It didn’t go unseen– the disappointed frown she had for a moment as you took a wide step back. 
“Wanda,” you echoed. “I’m sorry about that. I should’ve watched where I was going. Are you alright?” Your head tilted and your eyebrows scrunched as you asked her that and Wanda was taken aback for a moment that you even thought to ask. It had been so long since she was asked anything if she were being honest.
“What made you so distracted?” Wanda ignored your question and chose to ask one of her own. She didn’t even know you, but she realized she suddenly wanted to learn everything about you, starting with what had you so wrapped up in a tiny screen that you ran straight into another human being. 
“Oh…” Your eyes dropped to the ground and Wanda took note of the way you shuffled nervously in front of her. “Um, nothing just– It wasn’t something that should’ve distracted me like that. I’m sorry for running into you.” You were trying to go at this point. The way this stranger was looking at you had you anxious and you had no idea why. The fact that she was also asking you this rather than just going on her own way also made you feel self-conscious and scrutinized by the woman before you. 
Wanda just blinked back at you, the frown on her face showing yet again for a moment. Your eyes searched hers and the confusion in them grew. Did this total stranger really want to know your business? If you were to say it out loud to her, surely you would seem pathetic. But she still stood, waiting for you to answer what was so important that you completely missed the person standing still as you walked right into her.
“Okay,” you sighed, “I got an email about my funding. I’m a– Or I guess was a student here. My funding got pulled. No funding means no grad school… So I have to figure that out, I guess.” 
There was a moment of silence as Wanda just stared down at you. Her facial expression was impossible to read for a moment. It was pensive, almost neutral and you waited for any sort of response to her. 
“I’ll figure it out,” you continued for whatever reason. Trying to fill the silence as Wanda just kept staring. “There’s other programs, other schools. I can apply again.”
“I’m sure it will all work out,” Wanda finally said. She put her hand on your shoulder for a moment, trailing it over you as she finally began to walk past you. When her hand left you and she went her own way, you just stood there stunned. 
You thought that encounter with her would plague your mind for days, but as if a switch had flipped suddenly that strangeness that was filling your mind faded into nothing.
—---------------------------------
That encounter may have left you utterly confused, but to Wanda it made things so clear. She finally had a plan, something to do. She was wandering aimlessly since Westview with nothing to fill the time. She had said she would find her children again in some dimension, somewhere, but for she had no real leads. She was losing hope, she was spiraling– That is until you bumped into her.
The gears in Wanda’s mind began to turn the minute you confessed to why you were so distracted that fateful day. And ever since then, she was going to put a plan into motion. First, she had to learn just a little bit more about you. But it wouldn’t do if you suddenly left the place she had found you in, so she tweaked some things. Starting with an anonymous donation to your department (of which she found quite quickly from just a few days of watching you) so that they might be able to fund their graduate students– Specifically you– and that you might be able to stay and continue your research and studies while she worked on a way to draw you closer to her. 
After a few weeks of watching you, she quickly learned that despite her donation, they didn’t give you enough funding to comfortably live on. You ran from job to job when you weren’t on campus studying and Wanda quickly decided, if you were to be her new fixation, then having multiple jobs would not do. You had her undivided attention, so now she wanted the majority of yours. She decided you could have your studies, but the rest of you… The rest of you she was going to make hers. 
It only took her a few more weeks after watching you carefully to approach you again. One thing about her new powers was that, rather than captivating a whole town like she did with Westview, she could easily– and with a lot less catastrophic damage– erase a small part of people’s memories. Namely, their memory that Wanda even existed in the first place. It wasn’t possible for the whole world to forget her, but a small college town she definitely could handle. Just another reason to keep you inside this town and not let you wander much further. With her handle on this new aspect of her own power, she took it one step further with you, erasing the very first day you two met. That day would always replay in Wanda’s mind, but she knew it confused and frightened you and she needed to paint herself in the best light possible when she finally approached you face-to-face again.
It was quite easy to approach you this time too. She posed as a professor in your own university. She twisted and turned the minds of the university until it was as if she had been there a long time. An established part of a university department outside of your own. She knew your schedule too, so she knew that you would always sit at the corner of the university coffee shop for about an hour in between classes. That’s where she finally approached you– or, to be more accurate, she made you approach her.
She almost felt bad about it, but at the same time she knew it would be her way in. She knew your eyes would be buried in a book as you walked to your usual spot and she used that moment to use an invisible force to trip you. And, like the knight in shining armor she wanted to appear to you as, she swooped in front of you and caught you skillfully. 
The first look you gave her was back on your face this time too. The panic and embarrassment that burned in your cheeks as you looked up at your savior was evident on your face. Wanda gave you the best, charming smile she could muster, but if you were being honest it made you feel almost as if you were a fly that landed right in a spider’s web. 
“Are you okay?” Wanda said the same line to you and you nodded, immediately trying to apologize like last time. 
Wanda knew by now that this was your personality. You were shy and anxious, but also patient and kind. All the things that were the opposite of how she considered herself and all the things that had her captivated by you. 
“Yeah, I– I’m good,” you again tried to step back and this time Wanda let you. “I’m so sorry! Thank you for catching me. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” Wanda chuckled as her hands fell to her sides. “What are you reading? Must be interesting.” The crooked smile she gave you was what finally drew you in. It was charming and warm and the way her eyes sparkled had you wanting to see more. When Wanda took in the wide, curious eyes looking back at her she knew she had you. 
And that was really all it took for her to wrap you up in her web and never let you go.
—------------------------------------------------
In the following months things happened rather quickly. After the day you had officially met Wanda, you saw her way more often. She would always sit near you at the coffee shop, or bump into you on other parts of campus, until finally you two established a date. And from that date things happened even quicker. It was like you blinked and suddenly your whole life was wrapped up in Wanda’s. You quickly said goodbye to your rundown, tiny apartment and moved into Wanda’s extravagant house right outside of town. Instead of taking the city bus to and from campus, she was driving you whenever and wherever you needed to go. There was now a lot more free time in your life to focus on both your studies and this new relationship you found yourself in with Wanda, as she had insisted you quit your job. That she would take care of every single one of your wants and needs. And how could you say no to that? Although, it was all a little too fast for your comfort, if you were being honest, but at the same time it was Wanda… You couldn’t picture your life without her from the very moment you met her and she made it clear that she intended for you to never find out what it would be like without her in it. 
She took care of you, she took care of everything. You needed only to focus on two things: her and school. Wanda loved the passion you had for studying, so she let you keep one thing outside of her. But she was still near, even if you weren’t aware. She was always near. 
But as months stretched on and her attachment to you became even stronger, things shifted a bit. She was feeling… anxious. The life she had back in Westview began to pop up in her mind again and she felt that hole inside her chest once more– The one that you had filled when she first saw you. There was only one part of her Westview life that kept running through her mind though. It wasn’t Vision. No, it was never Vision. Not when she had you. You were a brighter light in her life than Vision ever had been. A deeper love that felt soft and gentle, even if she had orchestrated a lot of events in order to make the two of you happen. 
Vision wasn’t what kept her up lately. It was her boys. There were dreams of them, flashes of them in her daily life. It was almost as if the more she loved you, the more she missed them. You had healed this wound, but in the nights that you wrapped your arms around her and fell asleep, she felt that familiar tug she had in Westview– the one that longed for a family. A life of peace and completeness. That made the wound feel fresh again. 
So Wanda began to withdraw. She wasn’t going to let you go, but for now, as she contemplated these feelings and how to fix them, she needed time and distance. Each time you smiled at her, each time you kissed her, that tug in the pit of her stomach felt stronger and stronger. The longing grew– The thought of recreating a Westview with you was tempting. But she knew how well that worked out last time. 
Late at night when this longing grew particularly strong, Wanda would sneak away when you were fast asleep to contemplate her options. She had hoped that you wouldn’t notice her withdrawal, but when your whole world was Wanda… How could you not? 
As these days of dealing with a withdrawn Wanda stretched on, you were getting restless. Something was clearly bothering Wanda and it was causing a rise of anxiety in you. At first you tried to approach it gently, but Wanda iced you out. The problem grew and Wanda warned you not to poke at it, but you couldn’t just leave it be. 
With your life being filled with Wanda now– Her withdrawing left you painfully lonely. So you began pushing unspoken limits Wanda set for you. Fights started and time and time again Wanda would shut you down. 
The more she did so, the more it felt she was putting you on the shelf. Like you were her little play thing and she was bored of you. There was an ache in you that you didn’t quite understand and the more confusion she left you with the closer you were to being utterly done. How you could even live without Wanda, you weren’t sure, but you were almost a little tempted to figure it out. 
There was no way you could ever leave Wanda, though. You didn’t want to, even if she was withdrawn, you still loved her deeply. But you wanted attention, acknowledgement, anything. 
Unfortunately for you, the only way you knew how to get that was to push her buttons more and more each day. 
You had no idea what was going through Wanda’s mind, but she had been particularly aggravated lately. What you didn’t know was that Wanda was stuck in trying to find the solution to the feelings that were plaguing her. She had played with an idea, but knew that in order to do so she would out her true nature and risk the memories she took from you to come flooding back. What would you do then, if you remembered who Wanda was? Her name was all over the news and the whole world knew she had fallen far from where she was when she helped the avengers. That was so long ago to Wanda. It was a different time, a different her. One that didn’t know her potential and didn’t know her own heart until she finally found all the pieces. 
The problem was, she’s never had all those pieces all at the same time. She wanted you and her boys. She wanted the picture perfect family that she had in Westview, but she wanted it with you this time. She wanted you as her little housewife and mother of her twins. In the past week she had been engrossed in ways to make that happen. She had a theory that if she tried to create her children again it would be the same children she once had. All she needed was to share her DNA in some way with you and a little bit of magic to add to that. Then, all would be right in her eyes if she had them in this way. For whatever reason, she felt that that was the true way the universe was meant to be. If she built this family with you, then it would never be taken from her ever again. The tricky part was actually creating them with you in a way that didn’t have you questioning how it was even scientifically possible. That would have you questioning a lot about who she is and what she could do. And she didn’t want to ruin what she established with you just yet. Even if the more you pushed at her the more she was tempted to say let go of her control.
She knew you were getting fed up with it too and the more you pushed her the more she contemplated letting her resolve slip. She tried her best to keep you at arms length while she tried to figure out her predicament. But she was feeling stuck with no alternative other than to reveal herself and what she could do. She kept going in circles to feel less stuck, but the more stuck she felt with this problem the angrier she was. And unfortunately, the angrier she was the easier it was for you to push her buttons. 
Unfortunately for the both of you, it only took one final push for her to actually snap. When you thought of Wanda breaking, you thought it would mean she would be forced to talk to you. Never did you expect the outcome of your plans that night. 
Your classmates had invited you out for drinks and, since you met Wanda, your answer was usually no. But tonight things were different. Wanda was so wrapped up in her own thoughts she didn’t pick you on campus. She was kind enough to warn you to take an Uber and she would pay, but you were still angry about it. So when you were invited out, you said yes. 
Saying anything other than no would’ve already irritated Wanda. Even a maybe. She didn’t like the idea of you going out to bars, especially without her. Usually if you wanted to do something with anyone else you’d at least ask her and she would be nearby to make sure you were safe and no one was tempted to take advantage of the time she was allowing them to have alone with you. But this time, you weren’t even going to ask. You were just going to go. Something you hadn’t done since before Wanda.
You knew what you were doing. It was all entirely intentional. Right down to the outfit you picked and the way you walked past Wanda, making just enough noise to get some of her attention. Even if she didn’t look up at you.
“Where are you going?” Wanda asked as she flipped a page of a strange book she was reading.
“Out,” you muttered. Even if Wanda wasn’t looking at you, you wanted your tone to register that you were rolling your eyes at her. The fact that she didn’t even look up just pissed you off even more. 
“I’m not planning to leave the house tonight.” She still wasn’t looking at you and that just made your hands ball into fists as you got more and more offended by her lack of attention. 
“I know,” you scoffed. “I don’t have to go everywhere with you.”
Suddenly, an eerie silence filled the room. You watched Wanda’s face as she kept her eyes glued to the book she was reading. There was a slight change in it, a tightening of her jaw, but she still didn’t look at you. 
“You know that’s not how this works,” Wanda’s response was calm, but you could tell you were starting to get to her. Never had you been defiant to her. She gave you everything you wanted and you did whatever she asked. There was an unspoken rule to go where Wanda goes, be where she wants you and an even deeper unspoken rule to not question or defy any of the other arrangements you two have made. But tonight, as you watched her jaw clench and unclench and realized you were getting under her skin, you decided to push more. 
“So?” You shrugged and that silent uncomfortable feeling in the room felt like it intensified the very second you uttered that one word. “I don’t see the harm in going out just for one night on my own.”
Wanda’s eyes slowly slid from her book to your face the moment you uttered the phrase on your own. That definitely wasn’t something you should’ve said to her. There was an understanding that anything you did “on your own” was something that Wanda would be nearby for. What you were asking for was a night completely away from Wanda, and it was breaking the biggest unspoken rule she had for you. This was new waters you were treading, but you were so sick of her lack of interest that you didn’t care. Any attention from her was a change from whatever was happening now. 
“You’re not going,” she ordered as she snapped her book shut and stood up. 
You just snorted at that, anger boiling in your blood as you stood your ground. “Why not? You seem preoccupied with just about anything other than me. What’s the harm?”
She was right in front of you now, her jaw was clenching and unclenching like it had before, but this time you looked down for a brief second and noticed her fists were doing the same. Still, though, you wanted to keep pushing. 
“With you dressed like that,” Wanda warned, “I think you know exactly what harm it could do.” You knew what you were doing when you got dressed. A tight, cropped shirt and even tighter short shorts to match. It was something meant to catch the eye of others and definitely something you knew would get an extra rise out of Wanda to add to that. What you didn’t know was what exactly Wanda meant. She was already picturing in her mind the droves of people who would come trying to pick you up at whatever trashy bar you decided to go to. And when she pictured people trying to touch what was hers, she also pictured all the ways in which she could make them suffer so much as daring to think they could have you. 
You were playing with fire and on some level you knew that, but something in you couldn’t stop pushing her buttons. Even if you didn’t know what exactly you were getting into, even if you didn’t know to the full extent how possessive Wanda could be of you and how much of a monster she was capable of being when provoked. 
“I don’t think it’s that big of a deal.” You shrugged again and Wanda’s eye twitched as you kept challenging her resolve. “At least someone will appreciate it.”
If you thought the tension was bad when Wanda stood up, now it was suffocating you. Wanda just stared back at you, her eyes burning with anger. In fact, she looked so angry you swore you saw a red flash in her eyes.  For a moment, you kind of just stood there, waiting for Wanda to respond, but on her part she was trying to calm the possessive rage that you just caused to boil over inside of her. 
Part of her wanted to force you to your knees and have you beg forgiveness for defying her like this. You hadn’t even done anything yet, but just the idea and threat of disobeying her wishes had her furious. She was so close to figuring out how to have everything she wanted and now of all times you were trying to defy her? Trying to let a pathetic stranger swoop in on you at some dive bar when you know you’re hers? No, this was unacceptable to her. Never have you done anything other than be good for her. The way you so easily obeyed her is a small part of what drew her to you in the first place. And she did realize she had been neglectful, but couldn’t you see it was for your own good? For the good of the family Wanda was trying to rebuild with you? The more she had you the more she wanted. She had you completely already, that was true, but she wanted you in a way she wasn’t sure you were ready for. In a way that would show you exactly who Wanda really was. 
So in order to find a solution to the raging beast inside of her that wanted to claim you and have her family back, she thought it was best to withdraw.Clearly she over calculated and now here she was. But as you stood with your arms crossed over your chest, daring her with your eyes to do something, suddenly that’s when all her control just snapped. You felt the shift too, even if you didn’t understand it. It was like the calm before the storm. Wanda took a sharp, deep breath through her nose before exhaling and taking a step into your personal space. 
“Okay,” Wanda growled. “That’s about enough.” In a blink of the eye you were thrown over her shoulder. The way you yelped as you felt yourself hoisted off the ground echoed through the room. You knew Wanda was strong, but you didn’t know she was that strong. She had you thrown over her shoulder like it was nothing. Your hands grasped at her shirt, terrified she would drop you at any moment, but it was as if she had no struggle at all. 
“Wanda, what the fuck?” You cried as she walked towards the bedroom. With a grunt, you landed hard on the mattress. You couldn’t even begin to sit up before she was already on the bed with her legs on either side of your waist, essentially pinning you down onto the bed with her body.
“Language,” she hissed as she started to pull her own shirt off before immediately reaching for yours. 
“How did you- What- When did you get so strong?” You couldn’t collect your thoughts. They were scrambled up by the display of sheer strength and also maybe a little bit by the fact that Wanda was sitting on top of you without a shirt. 
“You wanted attention and now you’re questioning how I give it to you?” Wanda’s voice was dripping with irritation as she began to yank both your own shirt and bra off of you. 
“I– No, but…” You were now naked from the waist up beneath Wanda. Her eyebrow arched as you struggled to find your words. You definitely knew your little stunt would piss her off, but you didn’t expect this outcome. 
“Now tell me,” Wanda’s nails began dragging down your chest as she spoke, “why would you want anyone else’s attention, when I’m all that you need?” Her nails dug down a little harder as they reached your stomach and you hissed at the slight sting of the red marks they left behind.
“Tell me,” Wanda ordered again as her hands made their way back up to your chest. “I give you everything you could possibly want.” The way she was palming at them was rough, but still it had you squirming underneath her. “So why,” she took your nipples between her fingers and pinched just a little harder than she usually would, causing a slight pain as she spoke, “would you ever think about anyone else?”
You winced as she palmed at you even harder, but you couldn’t help the flood of shame at the arousal it sent straight to your core. The way she was handling you, like an object— like something to be owned— was new. Sure she could be intense when she touched you, but she was never intentionally rough like she was being right now. She never purposely caused any kind of pain, even if right now it was mild and (to your surprise) enjoyable. 
“It– it wasn’t like that!” You were stumbling over your words as you began to feel Wanda grind down into you. It wasn’t slight or subtle, the way she was moving her hips. She was pressing your body harder into the mattress as she dragged herself against you from where she was straddling your waist. 
“Hm, then what was it like?” Wanda’s tone was degrading. She was practically seething on top of you as she spoke. “Because to me it sounded like my little toy wanted someone else to play with her?” 
“I–” You couldn’t stop the wince at her harsh words. She had called you that before, but still there was a loving inflection in her voice when she did in the past. This tone she had now, the way she said, it was filled with nothing but rage. “Wanda, I don’t want anyone else. No– No, I… I just wanted you to-“ 
“Oh look at that,” Wanda interrupted, her tone utterly condescending. “Now you’re trying to cover your tracks.” You watched curiously as one of Wanda’s hands left your body. “I thought you understood when we started that you’re mine. I can’t have a single ounce of doubt in your mind about that fact. Now I need to remind you of who you belong to. Who owns you.” She hissed that word and your eyes widened as you watched her fingers twist and twirl in the air, a red glow following them as they moved. In a blink the rest of your clothes just vanished. Your eyes widened for a moment as you stared up at Wanda. But then, in another flash of red you felt your hands fly up and pin themselves above your head. No matter the struggle, you felt a constant, unwavering invisible force hold your wrists in place. 
“Wanda, what— how did you do that?” Your eyes shifted from above you, then to her fingers and finally to her face. Now you definitely noticed the matching red swirl in her irises. 
“I think it’s time I properly taught you just how important it is for you to be good, so that we can have everything we want.” If she heard your question she was clearly ignoring it. Your mind was racing trying to keep up with what was going on top of you. Her words definitely confused you too, but you didn’t get the chance to question them again. 
Wanda looked down for a moment and saw the look in your eyes before rolling her own and pressing her glowing fingers to your temple. In a split second you suddenly realized exactly who she was. Your heart raced and you gulped, but oddly you weren’t as terrified as you were just shocked. 
The Wanda Maximoff was on top of you telling you that you belonged to her. You should be running and screaming for help, or at least attempting to. All the news headlines and stories flooded your memory and you knew exactly how they painted her. She could end you in a second; you should be afraid. But for some reason, you weren’t. Instead, seeing this powerful woman on top of you and thinking back to all the times she told you she loved you, that she would take care of you, that she wanted only you. Knowing the truth, it stunned you, but not in a bad way. 
“Are you scared?” Wanda’s tone was still the same, taunting and demeaning as it was before. Only this time, you saw a little beyond that. There was a seriousness there. A curiosity of what your reaction was. Wanda thought if you reacted badly she could just go back to how it was. Wipe your mind of her existence entirely yet again, restart with you, and enjoy the dynamic you two had again. Was it a healthy plan? No. She would have to start from scratch again. Get you to fall for her once more. But Wanda’s obsession with you has gone far beyond the point of return. She would do what was necessary.
As if to purposely test your limits, Wanda reached for your throat, pressing ever so slightly. “Are you?” She repeated as she leaned down to look you in the eye.
You swallowed hard for a second, already feeling the slight strain on your throat as you did. “No,” you breathed out lowly. You weren’t at all. You realized all you wanted was her attention and finally she was giving it to you. Was this secret that kept her so withdrawn lately? “No, Wanda, I’m not.” 
You were nervous, but you weren’t scared. No matter what Wanda was before, no matter what she has become now, you were hers from the moment you crashed into her. A memory that was returned to you. If she hadn’t wiped that one, you would’ve still been drawn to her and fallen for her just as hard as you did when she was posing as a professor. 
Wanda knew your acceptance was true and took your answer for what it was. This moment right now opened so many doors for her. The void she had been feeling, it could finally be fixed in the way she wanted to fix it. Things in her life were falling into place. As Wanda sat atop of you she finally— for the first time in her entire existence —felt like she was winning. Not once did she ever feel so powerful until this very moment.
“Now that you know the truth…” Wanda trailed off in a low voice. She was thinking aloud more than she was talking to you. Her eyes stayed locked with yours but you could tell she was pondering something. When you saw the now familiar swirl of red in her eyes you began to question what Wanda has in store for you. 
“Do you love me?” Wanda now spoke directly to you. Her eyes were still glowing red as her hand finally relaxed against your throat.
“Yes,” you replied breathlessly. Wanda’s face melted at your admission. The harsh, contemplative look she was wearing shifted into a soft smile finally. It was perhaps the first time in weeks she gave you a glimpse of her softness and you reveled in it. 
But after just a split second it was replaced with a bigger smile, one that gave you that feeling of being prey caught in a trap again. It was a feeling you weren’t unfamiliar with. And, if you were being honest, you enjoyed the thrill you got from seeing it. “We’re going to try something,” Wanda purred as she sat back up, but remained on top of you. “Something that we’ll both thoroughly enjoy.” 
You looked at her with curious eyes, squirming underneath her only slightly as she shifted and began to move between your legs. 
“It will give us both what we’ve been wanting,” Wanda continued as she now knelt between your legs, holding them open for her as she spoke. Her eyes raked down your body, from your flushed cheeks all the way down to the wetness that dripped from your thighs. She couldn’t help the satisfied hum at the sight, thinking this might be a lot easier of a task than she thought it would be. 
With another swirl of red in her eyes and a matching red shimmer around her twirling fingers, you followed her eyes down as the rest of her clothes disappeared and something materialized. Wanda’s smile grew as something you couldn’t fully see appeared between her legs.
You strained your neck up as best you could from the pillow, but with your arms still pinned above your head it was difficult. You caught what looked like shimmering, deep red straps resting around her waist and could only imagine what those led to. 
When Wanda leaned forward and you felt a cool, silicon tip pushing between your folds, your suspicions were confirmed. The contact made the both of you shiver, and as you felt Wanda run the toy slowly from your entrance to your clit and back down, you could see her taking sharp, deep breaths.
“This is going to be… incredible,” Wanda practically hissed. “I’ll be able to feel everything, to feel every part of you when I make you cum.”
Wanda hadn’t even begun fucking you and the idea of it turned you on so much you couldn’t stop the moan that slipped from your lips in a response. 
“And then,” Wanda lined the tip up as she spoke, “I’m going to fill you with my cum and hopefully it will work.” With that she pushed forward and you both took a sharp breath at the feeling. 
Wanda eased in as slowly as she could while fighting her every instinct to just ram into you and fuck you until she felt you fall apart. But she knew that at least for the start of this, she should go slow. This was, after all, the first time she’s fucked you using her magic. It was the first time she’s fucked you using something this big too. For all she knew, you’ve only ever had experience with her fingers. She didn’t want to break you— not completely. But as her cock sank into you inch by inch she was beginning to slip.
“God this feels better than I imagined,” Wanda hissed as she bottomed out inside you. “Why didn’t I do this sooner?” 
Your teeth were digging into your lip as you tried to stop yourself from crying out from the sheer feeling of being so full. To have Wanda fill your pussy in a way she never has before, it was taking all your willpower not to turn into a moaning, whining mess before she even really began to fuck you.
Wanda’s hips were currently completely pressed between your legs and you were taking her so surprisingly well. You were tight, but the way you squeezed Wanda’s magic strap was delicious. There was a pause for a moment— just a brief second for you to adjust to the size of her toy. But it was all she could manage to give you. The sensation of actually feeling you in this way had her head swimming and she needed more. 
She pulled the toy out slowly, so much so that only the tip stayed inside you. Her chest was already heaving as she looked down at you. The way her eyes were filled with hunger made you shiver as you looked back up at her, restrained, helpless, and thirsty for more. Your legs spread open for her even more without her prompting you and she groaned at the sight before her. Your wetness smeared on the parts of the toy that she could see, your arms still pinned over your head. It was all too much. She couldn’t help what she did next. Her hips snapped suddenly and her cock pushed deep into you. 
The cry you let out echoed through the room and Wanda swore she’s never heard a prettier sound. Her hips pulled back again until just the tip was left in you. Again she snapped them forward hard, making your eyes screw shut as you cried her name. 
“Fuck, if I knew it would feel like this…” Wanda groaned as she began to pump inside you at a brutal pace. Her hands were on your thighs, nails digging into your skin as she kept your legs spread open. Your hands were balled into fists above your head as she fucked you. You couldn’t stop the moans and cries that fell from your lips even if you wanted to. 
As Wanda kept fucking you, she fell forward, her entire body pressed against yours, as her lips captured your own. You whimpered into the kiss as her tongue filled your mouth much in the same aggressive way as the way she was currently fucking the toy into you. 
Wanda’s hands still had a hold of your thighs as she hoisted your legs over her waist, giving her a better angle to fuck the toy into you. You struggled to keep up with the way Wanda was licking into your mouth and biting at your lips. Her cock was hitting a spot inside of you, you didn’t even know would feel as good as it did. Your knuckles were turning white as your whole body began to shake from the sheer pleasure she was giving you. Even though you felt as if your whole body was on the brink of exploding, Wanda just kept going.
When Wanda began to moan more and more against your own mouth, you knew neither of you would last much longer. Wanda couldn’t keep kissing you anymore, and instead buried her head in the nape of your neck as she hoisted your legs higher onto her hips and fucked you even deeper. Your eyes had rolled back and cries of Wanda’s name fell from your lips nonstop as she picked up her pace.
“I can feel how close you are,” Wanda groaned as she pumped particularly harder into you. “But you’re going to wait. I want you to cum when I do.”
All you could do was whine in response as the sensation of her fucking you made it impossible for you to let out any coherent words. 
“You’re going to look so pretty,” she moaned against your neck, “filled up with my cum… and even prettier after.” Wanda’s movements were becoming erratic as she spoke. The words hardly registered to you as she kept fucking you harder and faster. 
“You wanna cum, baby?” Wanda purred in your ear. You nodded desperately, your whole body trembling as you continued to take her. Her teeth grazed against the most sensitive part of your neck as she felt you nod and she could feel her own body tremble from how close she was. “Then come with me,” she ordered. Her hips pumped harder into you and after a moment you felt a sudden warm rush of fluids inside you. The sound of moans filled the air even louder than before and you weren’t sure if they were coming from you or her. 
The moment you felt her cum inside you, you followed after. Your body arched off the bed and you felt tears prick at the corner of your eyes. Wanda’s forehead was pressed to your bare chest as she came. The way your pussy tightened around her magic cock was intoxicating. Neither of you had felt so good in your entire lives and Wanda made a mental note to fuck you like this often. 
When she felt your body finally collapse against the mattress she did the same against you. You realized quickly that your wrists no longer felt restrained, but you kept them above your head either way. Too exhausted to even lift them yet. 
“That was…” you couldn’t find the words. You had never felt so amazing on so many different levels than you did tonight. Your body felt spent and sensitive, but all you wanted was more. More of that, more of Wanda, more of everything she had to offer now that you knew who Wanda was. 
“Yeah,” Wanda didn’t need to hear you finish your sentence to know she was feeling the same way you were. Her head rested on your chest, listening to your heartbeat begin to slow as you came down from the high Wanda gave you. 
“Can we… do it like that more?” Your face was flushed as you asked. 
Wanda lifted her head and gave you a beaming smile. To anyone else it would be dazzling, but curiously, to you it gave you that feeling again— the one where you were nothing but a sheep caught in a wolf’s clutches. 
“Of course we can, baby,” Wanda purred as she looked up at you. “As many times as it takes.” 
The word choice was odd. Your eyebrows furrowed as you looked down at the woman on your chest. Her eyes were dark as she looked back up at you and something about the way her fingers traced up and down your stomach made you shudder. 
“As many times as it takes?” You echoed Wanda’s words back to her as a question, but she just gave a small hum of agreement as she placed a few kisses on your skin. 
“Until I have everything that I want again.” Her voice was low suddenly, almost threatening. You looked down at her eyes and saw how they darkened as she continued to trace her fingers against your body. “And nobody will take it from me again.”
Her words felt like a threat to an invisible entity. You knew it wasn’t directed towards you, you had no idea the source. But you knew she was serious, even if you didn’t quite understand why. Her words felt as much as a threat to someone as they did a direct promise to you. 
As Wanda laid on your chest and recovered some of her strength she thought about how she was one step closer. She could have her perfect family; her happiness. She didn’t need to control a whole town, she didn’t even necessarily need to control you. Once you did understand, she knew you would be accepting. Shocked, maybe, but ultimately accepting and even happy to build the dream Wanda had. She would have her boys, she would recreate them again with you. And then it would be the four of you, forever. 
For your part, you didn’t know what Wanda meant exactly. It wouldn’t be until later that evening, when Wanda decided you recovered enough to go again, that you put the pieces together and realized exactly how magic Wanda’s new toy was. She was right in her assumption of your reaction, shocked but accepting. Just like the good girl she knew you would be. Whatever Wanda wanted, you decided you would give it to her, knowing she would do the same. Wanda was one step closer to her happiness and it finally felt as if she was building it on solid foundations. There would be no one to take you from her, no one to stop her from building a life again with you. And there was a silent, chilling understanding between the two of you that if anyone were to ever threaten her happiness again… they would not get very far.
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insanechayne · 1 year ago
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#sometimes I wonder if our relationship is really healthy/good for me#because truthfully I get constant anxiety attacks and bad feelings and they’re all usually centered around our relationship in some way#a good portion of our relationship was based around one thing but then you took that thing away#so how do we fill that gap without feeling like something is missing?#and I know you’re not struggling with this the way I am because you have other things going on#but I’m just saying it hurts really fucking bad sometimes missing what we had and feeling like our whole connection is just a little bit off#and the problem is that you’re pretty much my best friend#and truly you are a very good friend overall#you’re the only person I want to talk to every single day and at all hours of the day#so there’s no way I could give you up or try not to talk to you or something like that#but I also still have a crush on you that you encouraged for months#and for a while you didn’t tell me to stop you just strung my feelings along knowing I was waiting for you to come back to me#knowing how much I missed you and wanted you and you couldn’t be fully honest with me about what you wanted#and that makes my struggle with this worse I think#how do I get rid of these feelings when I can’t not talk to you#how do I not like you that way when you’re the first person to make me feel anything in the longest time#every day I hope it’ll be the day you decide you want me again#that’s not really very healthy is it? waiting on something that may never happen again#but truly I have nothing else to hold onto and so I have to hold onto you#but still the consistent anxiety and shit is getting old#and I can’t talk to you about any of this because you’ll probably just snap at me again#but fuck sometimes I just feel like I’m being torn apart and I don’t know how to fix that#personal
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