#i still admire him as a character (not that i’d ever like Any dazai as a person really) but like

[rainswept]

so ur a chuuya AND dazai fan….youre a lost cause my guy 💔💔💔 /j

WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT HATING DAZAI !!!!! (more photos fall)

[analysisn3rd]

Ellery Queen

Morality

Contrary to what I would usually expect from a character so well written as his, Ellery’s morality is simple and to-the-point. The reason for this is because he’s not affected much by his surroundings in a way that would factor into his morality. To be able to show it clearly, I’d say that he’d be on the greyer section of the scale. The middle section, or amoral section. That is, quite simply, because he’s amoral. 

However, he’s considerably a lot better than other amoral characters, like Dazai, as an example. This is because he recognizes what others would consider “good” and “evil” and deliberately tries to stay away from both and just stick to neutral things. Moreover, he doesn’t think about whether or not the thing he’s doing is “good” or not. He just does what he knows needs to be done to achieve this goal of his. It’s a practical way of thinking, but not the kindest one, because it means that he could still hurt people unintentionally. Despite thinking this way, I believe that he tries to go out of his way to not be the cause of serious issues to anyone.

In a way, he’s similar to Ranpo, because they would both do whatever it takes to reach this goal of theirs; to crack this case they’re handling. However, Ranpo still tries to actively help people through his work. Ellery’s just doing it because he enjoys it. It’s not to help people, at all. At the end of the day, he’s just a detective who’s a tad bit narcissistic. He doesn’t care for others, and I doubt he ever will.

Personality and insecurities

Ellery is an eccentric character, like any detective usually is. Not only is he highly intelligent and observant, but he’s also cunning and snarky. He’s got a sharp mind, and he isn’t afraid to flaunt it. He knows that he’s better than everyone else and he knows how special he is. He recognizes his own worth and would not stand to be treated less than what he’d expect for himself. Despite that, Ellery is a terribly insecure person. This is because he holds himself to unreasonably high standards and believes that that’s what people expect of him. He’s terrified of disappointing people, but he hides that all behind a mask of being mean and snarky to others. He doesn’t want them to ever think that he’s the way he is. 

Because of the way that he thinks about himself, he thinks that others think of him in that same way. They see him as this incredibly intelligent mastermind of a person, and he likes it that they do so, because he believes that that’s what he deserves. However, he thinks that they also hold him to the same expectations that he holds to himself, which causes him to fear that he’ll disappoint them; that, once they find out that he’s not capable of being this certain image, they will disrespect him and look down on him. Another fear of his that ties into the previous one is his fear of failure. Because he holds himself to such high standards, he believes that he should never fail. It pains him when he misses a miniscule detail or when he gets something wrong, but he will never be able to express it.

Conclusion

Ellery is one of my absolute favourite characters, which makes sense considering who my favourite characters always usually end up being. He’s really well-written and he’s incredibly complex. In a way, he is a mystery. I think he’d be quite glad to know that. I just admire his character as a whole a lot, and I don’t think I have the words to describe that.

[kickingstonesandbones]

ADA: Songs the BSD characters remind me of (even though no one asked)

I’ve recently watched all 3 seasons of the Anime, the movie and the OVA and have started reading the Manga from the beginning. Right now I am only at chapter 40 because I started reading like 2 days ago, so idk stuff that would happen after the Anime storyline (if it goes that much further than season 3 ending, I wouldn’t know). I based this off on either specific lyrics that made me think it would fit the character or a certain vibe I was getting from a character. For some characters it was easier, for some not so much lol It is why some characters have multiple songs that make me think of them while others only have one (if they even do have one, that is – but the ADA does, except for Katai). So please do not rip into me because you think a song might not fit them as well as I do, because I just have not gotten to the latest chapter of the Manga yet, so there are some characters I do not know that well yet but I wanted to do this for fun. Other than that, I hope you enjoy this list~ Also, feel free to add to my list if you have songs that I haven’t mentioned but think would fit the characters, if you want to~

My taste in music is also pretty broad and not limited to certain languages or genres (though I do have my preferences), so I will provide translations of the lyrics in different languages from English. The German ones (like Kontra K, Elif, etc.) were translated by myself (on the spot), for other languages like Romanian or Korean, etc. I had to look up translations on the internet.

Disclaimer: For the songs for Dazai, one might want to consider a TW, for one of his songs has extremely open-no-room-for-speculation suicidal lyrics. If this affects you, please skip that one, I will put that song last on his list.

And, well, because this is 12 pages long in the document, I will be making a cut here…

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𝔸𝔻𝔸 𝕚𝕟 𝕘𝕖𝕟𝕖𝕣𝕒𝕝

💙 Wölfe (Wolves) by Kontra K 💙

It’s about so much more than just strength, it’s about solidarity and virtue / It runs so much deeper than your wounds could ever get / We’re walking through the fire together until the day we die […] /

And we are so infinitely far away from being perfect / But what doesn’t kill us will make us stronger / And hope dies last / It dies last /

A lot of the members have been through quite some shit, but they hold it together all the time and always pull through and manage to keep moving forward sooo (some random arsehole I talked to spoilered me about Yosano and Mori  -_-)

💙 Born For This by The Score 💙

A force that they can’t stop / They just don’t get it, I think they forget / I’m not done until I’m on top / I know I was born for this / I know I was born for this […] /

We are the warriors, who learned to love the pain / We come from different places but have the same name / ‘Cause we were born for this / We are the broken ones, who chose to spark a flame / Watch as our fire rages, our hearts are never tame /

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ℕ𝕒𝕜𝕒𝕛𝕚𝕞𝕒 𝔸𝕥𝕤𝕦𝕤𝕙𝕚

💙 Believe by Hollywood Undead 💙

I can’t believe / That when I breathe / That there’s something good inside of me / Just one good thing inside of me / So close to me / That memory / Of that one good thing inside of me / Just one good thing inside of me /

If I went out the back door, nobody would stop me / But, where would I go? / ‘Cause I ain’t never had a real home / So, what do I know? / So, I could keep runnin’, hide until they find me / But, what would that do? /

That he really hates himself that much and how insecure he is in his right to be alive not just simply because he is a living being really hurts to see.

💙 Face it by NF 💙

Don’t know how to face it / Let’s go back to basics / Yes, say what you mean, do what you say, but man I hate this / I just don’t know what I’m chasing, don’t know what I’m chasing / Yes, somebody told me / Life is something you don’t wanna play with / But I just keep on playing like life is just a playground […] / I look at myself and I ask what the goal is / Yeah, tell me what your goal is / I’m just so lost in emotions, I don’t even notice / I just slip into a place and I don’t think straight / Devil in my ear tryna tell me everything’s great / And in a year realize I’m in the same place / Running in the same race, same pace […] /

Get that sickness out my mouth / I feel like my train is derailing / I can feel it / Yo these words are only words until they actions / Words until they actions, strive on empty satisfactions / Yeah, the fact is I don’t know, fact is I don’t know /

💙 월식  (My Tragedy) by Taeyeon 💙

At the end of an empty day / Everyone busily returns from somewhere / In the red night sky / I disappear into the darkness little by litte / These many sparkling lights / There isn’t a single light that’s mine / Under the cold shade by myself / Like it wasn’t there from the start /

💙 Oceans by Jacob Lee 💙

I learnt to let go when I was younger / Scared of growing old / I would swim far into the ocean / And try to stay afloat / Until my lungs would cough up water […] /

I don't want love no more / Though it's the one thing I've been searching for / Though it's the one thing that I miss the most / Now I'm afraid to be alone / I learnt to grow old when I was younger / Scared of staying young / Afraid of the thoughts that I had conjured / That sat atop my tongue / Knowing I'd change the worlds opinion / If they would just, listen up / But they won't, now /

I feel worthless / Maybe I should open the drawer / Burn the pages / Write poems with the ash on the floor / Pour the ink, into the sink / And watch it drain from the shore /

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𝔻𝕒𝕫𝕒𝕚 𝕆𝕤𝕒𝕞𝕦

I know Dazai has a looooot of songs, but tbh I could’ve added at least another 15 because. There. Were. Just.  S O .  M A N Y .  T H A T  F I T  H I M  S O  W E L L ‼‼ (Well, at least the ones I could think of off of the top of my head right away.)

💙 Believe by Hollywood Undead 💙

Don’t you know, little boy, they’ll lay you to waste, man / Little do they know, every song is a lifespan / Yeah, they’ve taken one, but I’m takin’ my last chance / To hold all we know and let go with both hands / Though, don’t you know that plots are made from concrete / Right through the stone, can you hear my heart beat? / Beats through my bone, like no memory left me / Not for a second or a minute when I dream […] / My heart beats heavy in an open chest / And, I wanna say goodbye, but there’s nobody left /

I broke it all, and I put to the test / Put your hands in mine, and feel this emptiness / There’s no beat in my chest / ‘Cause there’s nothin’ left / No, it ain’t goodbye, its a last caress  / What’s another dream? / You could hardly sleep /

Makes me think of Oda aka the bond they had aka the admiration Dazai had for him.

💙 Face it by NF 💙

I ain’t sleeping lately / I ain’t sleeping lately / Yes, I know that I’m the only person that can change me / Maybe, that’s why I ain’t changing / That’s why I ain’t changing / I got too much on my mind, I guess I don’t know how to face it /

He obviously has a lot of issues, and I bet he still doesn’t think of himself as a good person. It strikes me as if he’s thinking that Agency Dazai is not much different from Mafia Dazai. “Your hands are black. Mafia black,” as Higuchi said. I think he did not deny it when she said that, so he doesn’t disagree with her.

💙 Rain by Hollywood Undead 💙

I don’t mind, no I don’t mind, I don’t mind the rain / Simple things and subtleties, they always stay the same / I don’t mind, that I don’t mind, no I don’t mind the rain / Like a widow’s heart, we fall apart, but never fade away (fade away) /

Run like a child, do you know where I came from? / No, I don’t, but I’m singing all the same songs / I’m alone, and you’re looking for your anyone / Does it hurt just to know that it’s all gone? / I can feel the pain in the words that you say / Hidden in the letters that were written to no name […] / Buried in red, white, and a side of some blue / Some will die too late, and somebody too soon / If he could come back, we’ll see what it cost him / We had to lose it all, just to know that we lost one /

💙 Lass mich lieber allein (better just leave me alone) by Kontra K 💙

Man, don’t explain the world to me, it isn’t perfect / And just as imperfect are also you, her and me / All of that isn’t a problem to me / But tell me, since when does hatred laugh so audaciously into my face? / But it’s somehow alright for me […] / Man, I wish for a minuscule part of naivety back / But it seems it’s somehow too late for me / Somehow already too late for me […] /

Already been wandering for so long, you forget / Who is worthy of sacrificing yourself for and for whom you better not do it / You run along the street of success without any luck (on your side) / But she walks out of hell into heaven only once and then right back / If you end up where you started then where is the meaning? /

Because I also have my baggage to carry all on my own / Just like all of the fuckers that think I’m living in heaven all by myself / But the fire and the flames in which I’ve been standing in for so long already / Man, they refuse to see them / But it’s somehow alright for me /

You better just leave me alone / Because when they carry you on their hands, they will (eventually) let you drop / I’d rather fall alone/by myself / Rather alone/by myself /

💙 Lies by Will Jay 💙

I'd rather tell myself if I ignore / These thoughts they'll go away / And my toxic friends have changed / Truth is I hate confrontation / Deal with it tomorrow / 'Cause there's nothing I can do / That's my favourite excuse / Feeding my procrastination […] /

And I think I just realised I would do anything / To keep hiding the pain I've been burying / That's why I tell / Lie-lie-lie-lie-lie-lie-lies /

💙 Du willst es (You want it) by Kontra K 💙

Only the good ones die young, and not long after the best ones follow / No idea, ask death why he thinks that I am so damn bad / Still here, we’re almost not worthy of heaven / Working day for day, only the hatred kills the pain / Life will shoot you in the chest but only ever hit your heart / Thank God that place in my chest has been emptied a long time ago […] /

We asked God, “why” / But the devil said, “doesn’t matter” / We’re swimming in a pool full of misery / But bring us another glass of it /

💙 Wie gemacht dafür (like we were made for it) by Kontra K 💙

Pretty normal, normal / Because you can’t get me, get me further down (the hole/ditch) / Than I’ve already been, you get it? […] / I’m going one-on-one with my inner demons, and I’ve been doing that for the past 13 years / I’ve been there, no matter what happened / Ask your gangsters, they know my voice / Have respect, respect for the realness / But fucking piss me off, and I’ll be sending you to heaven […] /

What pressure are you talking about, I inhale this city deep into my lungs / Put it on the beat and I’ll be giving you a new reason for your hatred /

Like we were made for it, we’re running through hell barefooted / We’re living rent-free in their heads, with the real ones, with the real ones / Like we were made for it, always loyal to my people / Swapping none of my friends for money, for the real ones, for the real ones […] /

If you’re my enemy, I’ll give you lead (bullets) / If you’re my friend, I’ll give you love / Because a wolf stays fucking loyal only to his family /

💙 Lonely by Nathan Wagner 💙

Is everybody lonely? / Is everybody scared? / Is everybody worried / That no one really cares? / See I'm afraid to love, but afraid to be alone / Still I wonder why my heart is always broke / What a way to live, let the fear take all control / Oh, this ain't life, no / I'm not alive […] /

'Cause I'm afraid to show the people who I am / I'm not special, I'm just a simple broken man / So I will hide my face with my picture perfect mask / Oh, this ain't life, no / It's just a lie […] /

If I looked you in the eye / And showed the broken things inside / Would you run away? / Would you run away? / If you saw my darkest parts / The wicked things inside my heart / Would you run away? / Or are you the same? /

The following one makes me think of Mafia Dazai

💙 Body Count by Grey ft. Thutmose 💙

I got a hunger, I got a fever / And it just won't quit / I got a temper, I got a bullet / With your name on it / Everybody wonders what it's like on top / I don't gotta wonder 'cause I call the shots […] /

My blood runs cold and my feet run faster / I still got heart, I hear a heart don't matter / Say what you want and it'll be your last words / It ain't a secret, I got a hit list / And baby, you're up next /

Stack 'em up, stack 'em up / Teach 'em not to fuck with me / Bag 'em up, bag 'em up / Let 'em know who runs these streets / Take 'em down, take 'em down / Count 'em out like one, two, three / Add a-na-na-na-na-na-na-nother one  / To the body count /

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T r i g g e r   W a r n i n g  !

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💙 Bullet by Hollywood Undead 💙

Gone too far and yeah I'm gone again / It's gone on too long, tell you how it ends / I'm sitting on the edge with my two best friends / One’s a bottle of pills, one’s a bottle of Gin / I'm twenty stories up, yeah I'm up at the top / I'll polish off this bottle, now it's pushing me off / Asphalt to me has never looked so soft / I bet my momma found my letter, now she’s calling the cops / I gotta take this opportunity before I miss it / 'Cause now I hear the sirens and they're off in the distance / Believe me when I tell you that I've been persistent / 'Cause I'm more scarred, more scarred than my wrist is / I've been trying too long, with too dull of a knife / But tonight I made sure that I sharpened it twice / I never bought a suit before in my life / But when you go to meet god, you know you wanna look nice /

We hit the sky, there goes the light / No more sun, why's it always night / When you can't sleep, well, you can't dream / When you can't dream, well, what’s life mean? / We feel a little pity, but don't empathize / The old are getting older, watch a young man die […] /

When you were young, you never thought you'd die / Found that you could but too scared to try / You looked in the mirror and you said goodbye / Climb to the roof to see if you could fly /

So if I survive, then I'll see you tomorrow / Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow

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𝕐𝕠𝕤𝕒𝕟𝕠 𝔸𝕜𝕚𝕜𝕠

💙 Brunette Ambition by Qveen Herby 💙

'Cause it's been three weeks and four days / No days off, just runways / I’m fucked up, I'll throw shade / Outwork you on a bad day […] /

On a mission, got no competition / It's hard to sleep with brunette ambition / Revenge is sweet, pussy: my religion / They say slow down, but I never listen /

Old me forsaken, these rules are for breaking / I get lonely with no new friends / Associate, but they can't relate / When you want the world, they’re uncomfortable /

This one is 50% lyrics, 50% overall energy of the song. Yosano is a bad bitch, and I love her.

💙 STFD by TeZATalks 💙    [Flash Warning for epilepsy]

I'm not here to take no names or reservations / I'm the devil telling Satan I'm just wild / Sit the fuck down / Imma kill it let me live just how I'm livin' / Ghetto heart with good intentions / I'm just wild / Sit the fuck down /

I'm chasing freedom for the fearless / I gotta do it 'cause I can't chase fear myself / I'm 'bout as broken as I confess / But better than most that lay cower / Proud of who they crowd / You don't know me / Coming to take your crown / Bow down / You know that I can do better, better / I don't need you to come in and show me how / Settle down / Cause you know that I can do better, better /

This song is mostly just the vibe for me. Quite…. unapologetic. Like the badass bitch vibe Yosano gives off, despite (or probably especially because of) her past.

💙 Nur mir (only to myself) by Elif 💙

Can’t believe what’s happening to me / Your words have manipulated me / I shouldn’t lose the connection to myself / Because otherwise your words will always stay with me / At first, you were there for me / But then you wanted me as your property […] / This city is big enough for the two of us / I have to share it with 4 million others anyway / I get onto the same train, stand on the same platform / Oh, everything’s profit (to you), everything’s yours /

But I only belong to myself, only to myself / Belong to myself, only to myself / Not to her, not to him, not to you /

💙 Disease by Hollywood Undead 💙

Our words are broken but they’re spoken aloud / So come together, come together again / The time is now, let Armageddon begin / They say beginnings always start with the ends / I say forever and forever, Amen /

Forget what you are / Forget what you feel / We stand apart but fall together / Nothing ever lasts forever /

We’re born to live, we’re born to die / We’re forced to swallow these pills and to never ask why / What I’ve become, why can’t you see / That everybody, everybody, everybody’s got this disease? /

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𝔼𝕕𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕨𝕒 ℝ𝕒𝕟𝕡𝕠

💙 The Wolf by SIAMÉS 💙

Each and every day / Hiding from the sunshine / Wandering in the shade / Not too old, not too young / Every night again / Dancing with the moonlight / Somewhere far away / I can hear your call […] / Ain’t no fairytale / What I see in your eyes / Awaiting your mistake / Not too close, not too far /

Honestly, finding a song for Ranpo somehow was harder than it should’ve been lmao Originally, this song is about addiction, but if you read them in the sense of it being about a criminal, whom Ranpo is about to catch, it makes more sense. I am sorry I can’t provide a better song for him right now djhfksjlhdfujhhgkfc

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𝕂𝕦𝕟𝕚𝕜𝕚𝕕𝕒 𝔻𝕠𝕡𝕡𝕠

💙 Fuck You by Silent Child 💙

Am I wasting my breath on you / Feels like my words are never getting through, yeah / I never said I hate you to someone so much before / I'm light headed when we talk and then you shut the door, god damn / Like what are we still talking for, yeah /

I really hope you don’t see tomorrow  / I tried to play nice with you / 'Cause all you ever do is try to fuck up my day / And you were successful / (But I know the truth) / No you don't have anything better to do / Everything you ever loved has tried to escape you / So why would I want anything to do with you /

Fuck you /

Don’t lie, he would blast this at full volume when Dazai fucks up his schedule again HAHAHA (I love their dynamic)

💙 Waiting by Zhavia Ward 💙

The truth is you don't even / Know what the hell you believe / But you should believe / Lions don't lose sleep / Over the opinions of sheep /

So if you're waitin' / To watch me fall / Watch me fall / Watch me fall / I'ma keep you waitin' / To watch me fall / Watch me fall / Watch me fall / I'ma keep you waitin' /

Empire State kinda view / And I'm up here with the crew / I got the feelin' that you wishin' / You could be up here too / Maybe I should feel bad for you / Be a little sentimental / But I don't, no I won't / Make excuses for you to hide behind /

This one makes me think of the time Fyodor tried to break him mentally by making that little girl sacrifice herself (Season 3), but he got back up pretty quickly again after having his ideals get shaken like that.

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𝔽𝕦𝕜𝕦𝕫𝕒𝕨𝕒 𝕐𝕦𝕜𝕚𝕔𝕙𝕚

💙 S.C.A.V.A. by Hollywood Undead 💙

Here's the massacre, a mausoleum fit for me / Lived a hundred years, a hundred years I didn't see / Gave all my hope away, isn't any left for me? / Bombs are splitting atoms, what can the future bring? / We can fill a million choirs and wait till children sing / We can walk a million miles and end up in the sea / And our lungs just keep filling and lying when we breathe / The world's filled with liars, liars like me / And I look at my child, it's finite, this feeling / Eyes blue like the sky, I see all of this meaning / I reach up to God and I ask if I'm dreaming […] /

Everybody says greetings and goodbyes / Everybody pays, no one knows the price / We know the price of sin, the sin of sacrifice / I know I'll sin again, but who can save me twice? / How much can we ask? You'll get the answer first / How much can we kneel with the air that chills the earth? / The air keeps getting colder, my knees keep hitting dirt / The innocent can cry without the guilty getting hurt / You ask who you love and you don't know, no, do you? / The spirit of God just passes right through you / You gave away heaven, handed right to you / And I can see it all, tell me, is it true? /

Fukuzawa is that anime character that’s visibly been through a lot of shit (and has done a lot of shit as well, even morally grey or black), which could be why he’s so stern and not a man of many words. Marked by life, if you will. He also gives off a very “wise man” kinda vibe right from the beginning, so I think that this song somewhat fits him because it is wondering about the state of the world and human nature.

💙 Courtesy Call by Thousand Foot Krutch 💙

This is your last warning / A courtesy call / I am not afraid / Of the storm that comes my way / When it hits it shakes me to the core / And makes me stronger than before / It’s not a question about trust / But will you stand with us? […] /

There’s a rumble in the floor / So get prepared for war / When it hits it’ll knock you to the ground / When it shakes up everything around / But survivial is a must / So will you stand with us? /  

This song just has that badass vibe. And no one can deny that Fukuzawa has a badass and intimidating vibe as well as he seems so stern and stoic most of the time.

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𝕋𝕒𝕟𝕚𝕫𝕒𝕜𝕚 𝕁𝕦𝕟𝕚𝕔𝕙𝕚𝕣𝕠𝕦

💙 Nesimtit by Mark Stam 💙

I don't have lots of cash / But enough for me to buy you an ice cream / For us to go on a walk / And for you to whisper to me in the waves of the ocean / I've taken some days from the border / And I put some behind the door, on ice / For cloudy weather / So that we can have them when the movie of life passes […] /

Let me be your lifeline / When your world is in the process of demolition / Let your dreams fly / I promise, we'll catch them somewhere around the sun /

Oddly enough, the Tanizaki siblings were just as hard for me as Ranpo… There aren’t really that many songs that would make me think of them. But this Romanian one made me (partly) think of him, I also think it’s cute and would probably fit him lol Especially the last four lines make me think of him and Naomi. After all, he’d even burn down the whole world if it was for her sake. All in all, this just sounds like him in the sense of a really supporting person/friend/brother.

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𝕋𝕒𝕟𝕚𝕫𝕒𝕜𝕚 ℕ𝕒𝕠𝕞𝕚

💙 You Should See Me In A Crown by Billie Eilish 💙

You say, "Come over, baby / I think you're pretty" / I'm okay, I'm not your baby / If you think I'm pretty /

You should see me in a crown / I'm gonna run this nothing town / Watch me make 'em bow / One by one by one / One by one by / You should see me in a crown / Your silence is my favorite sound / Watch me make 'em bow / One by one by one / One by one by one /

Naomi isn’t giving me the same “badass bitch” vibe as Yosano does, but she does have that “badass princess” vibe. Is that making any kind of sense? Like, she does not have an ability, but she is neither dumb nor completely helpless in all situations. So, there is a slight badass vibe, but not the “I can and I. W i l l . Kick your stupid. Bitch. Ass.” – so a…. “badass princess”? Because she also has that elegant aura about her. I hope I am making sense…?

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ℍ𝕒𝕣𝕦𝕟𝕠 𝕂𝕚𝕣𝕒𝕜𝕠

💙 2! 3! by BTS 💙

We know that you are happy right now / That you're slaying right now / You have all what you deserve / And we are so damn proud / But you're people, like us / You have spars, you get hurt / You get tired of the pressure / You get tired of the rush / God, thank you so much! / For giving us the chance / To tell you that we're here for you / And this will never change /

Lay on us / When dark times come and surround you / Our light will help you to get through / Our love is gonna heal you / Lay on us / The ones who would go to space to / Steal some stars just to give you 'cause it would make you feel good / We're gonna stay with you forever, until the end / We swear that we're not going anywhere / Yeah we're not going anywhere / We know the road can be so tough / But with holding hands / Together we take a nice deep breath /

Haruno strikes me as the kind of person, who’d be a really supportive friend, so I thought this might fit her. I have not seen much of her and her character neither in the anime nor in the manga yet, so I don’t really know whether this is any good or if it does her any justice.

On the other hand, I feel this song would also fit the Tanizaki siblings well.

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𝕄𝕚𝕪𝕒𝕫𝕒𝕨𝕒 𝕂𝕖𝕟𝕛𝕚

💙 Puste sie weg (blow them away) by Kontra K 💙

Love in the air – blow it away / 9mm on the chest – then blow it away / 3g on the mirror – better blow it away / And the wind will do the rest / Hate in the air – blow it away / Pressure on the chest again – then blow it away / Seven sins in my head – better blow it away / And the wind will do the rest […] /

Because everyone’s talking, talking, talking too much / But unfortunately never do it, do it, do it / And I don’t hate, hate, hate the player / But I’d rather kill a whole team by myself /

I’d rather have three, four warriors than one thousand “brothers” / I’d rather pick up cents from the ground than break bread with liars / I’d rather be broke like I used to be than be a part time dealer / I’d rather have a heart of gold than sharing with no one at all (no one) /

Hatred in the air – blow it away / Pressure on the chest again – then blow it away / Seven sins in my head – better blow it away / And the wind will do the rest /

Take the lyrics quite literally, “blow them away”. The feeling of this song fits him, I think, because of his sheer strength. He just blows away hatred, malice, etc. and is unaffected by any of it as his heart and his head stay innocent and pure, even if naive.

I have to say though, it can be a pun, especially the part of “9mm (gun) on the chest” would be most obvious for it (especially considering that the “on the chest” part does not specify in German whether it’s your own chest or you are holding a gun to someone’s else’s chest lol). In general “puste xy weg” means to blow it away with the air out of your mouth, but colloquially it can also mean gunning down something or someone. And if you apply that meaning to every single line with “blow it away”, the meaning turns around from not letting it bother you to killing it, which I find interesting with this character. (Because he definitely has great potential to actually kill someone with his ability alone.) Though what I thought when I heard this song was that it might fit him with the meaning of him letting nothing bother him.

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𝕀𝕫𝕦𝕞𝕚 𝕂𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕜𝕒

💙 Alaska by Elif 💙

Sometimes I’m thinking, I’m going insane like everyone else / They said I’d be going nuts and yeah, I’m starting to believe them / -7°C, I’m walking through the city park by myself / The down jacket is keeping me warm, but in my heart, there’s Alaska /

I don’t know what love is / No matter how much of it I get, I need more of it / It’s tearing me apart on the inside / When I, once again, don’t know where I’ll be getting it from / Even my therapist says, he doesn’t know any further / My dark side, it’s stronger than the good one / My youth was poisened, the future is uncertain / It is how it is yeah, it is how it is /

💙 Godsent by Smash Into Pieces 💙

I used to share, I used to care / The good in me is gone I'm bad / I used to give, I used to feel / The things you did will never heal / Take a look at me now / See what I've become / I will no longer feed the machine / Can't control the monster in me, no / The way that I feel / Makes it harder to breathe / When I'm thinking about you / The monster is real /

This makes me think of her in the Port Mafia.

💙 Boomerang by Smash Into Pieces 💙

I've been gone for a while now / But only to gain my power / I've been fighting my demons / And I'm back up on my feet (and now) / The harder you fall down / The stronger you come back later / Now I feel like an army / And I've only just begun /

This one in turn makes me think of her in the Agency.

💙 Circles (제자리) by G.Soul 💙

Oh, we know the ending / No matter how you escape / Here again / Always come back to me / Back again / Eventually / Here again / Why is it so hard to leave? / Here again / We always stay here […] / Answer me, I don’t know, no / Just don’t know / You’re getting stuck / Forever / Oh, we know the ending / No matter how you escape / Here again /

This makes me think of what Kouyou (I hope I am remembering her name correctly) was saying about her as a flower of darkness, as she was kind of turning in circles (no pun intended)–between wanting to be in the light and “accepting” that she only belongs into the darkness–at the beginning before she finally joined the Agency.

💙 Excuses (변명) by G.Soul 💙

I told you not to be too good to me / That it would make it too hard on you / No matter what you say now / I don’t hear a word of it […] / Even though I may be making a mistake / Even though I may regret this as time goes on / Baby, I think that we should just end it here now /

Even though the song in total has a different vibe (and story lmao), these parts of the lyrics makes me think of Kyouka telling Atsushi that there is no saving her, and that the light is no place for her (directly after saving her from the Port Mafia). It kinda makes me think of the part, specifically, where Atsushi suggests going on a “date” and at the end of it, Kyouka wants the last place they go to to be the police station.

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𝔻𝕒𝕫𝕒𝕚 & 𝔸𝕥𝕤𝕦𝕤𝕙𝕚

💙 Sing To Me by Missio 💙

Somehow I got nominated as a king of sadness / Got so much I know that I could even feed the birds / And that's why / I prayed, I prayed, God sent me right to voicemail / It's like, all day my vanity is for sale / Take it away, my head is in my own hell /

Sing to me, I am not doing well / Getting tired of my own words / Sing to me 'cause I can't hear myself / Through the loudness of my own hurts / Call me selfish when I say this, say this / I'm kinda helpless, and I need you / Sing to me 'cause I'm not doing well /

Somebody told me that there's two sides to this life / I think I might've chosen darkness over light /

These two are two sides of the same coin, but no side is brighter than the other. I feel like they are kind of mirroring each other in the way they feel about themselves, which is why these lyrics mirror both of them towards each other as both are in need of salvation as they’re drowning in their own minds. Dazai is just better at hiding it from Atsushi.

💙 Namae wo yobu yo (Call A Name) by Luck Life (Season 1 Ending) 💙

I was searching / For the reason I’m able to remain as myself / If there’s a version of me / That exists within your heart / That even amid the darkness on this long, hilly road / I feel I can become a new me / Able to make my way through / So that each of us, walking our individual moments, can keep on smiling / So that we can keep moving forward, exploring the meaning of life together / I’ll call out a name / Your name / So that you can remain who you are /

Technically, lyrically it’s the entirety of the song, but I will not write down all of it lmao And it’s the Atsushi and Dazai parallels here again. It’s not just the ending with the animation that shows it for me, but the lyrics reflect both of them in them as well. I absolutely loved this ending. I never ship characters as I do not care about that, but I really love these two (separately)~ (What they mean for each other aka what they might mean for each other in the future [peace of mind/finding worth for Atsushi, and a reason to live for Dazai, etc.], how they’re already helping each other [Dazai helping Atsushi with feeling worthless, and Dazai finding a bit of piece of mind], etc. etc. etc.) I haven’t loved 2 characters in an anime as much as this in quite a long time (The last time was Kougami and Akane in Psycho Pass) as I find making up characters as complex as them and make them fit together as well as them/make them complement each other/balance each other out is actually pretty hard to do really well.

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Making up this list took waaaaay longer than it should’ve. (I did not include Katai because I couldn’t think of a single song for him, sorry.)

[okayto]

Mini-Review: Bungo Stray Dogs

Atsushi Nakajima is having a bad week. First, he gets kicked out of the orphanage he called home--home to abusive adults, but still. Then, he seems to be stalked by a bloodthirsty tiger so he has to stay on the move. Also, he’s about to starve. THEN it turns out he is the tiger--specifically a weretiger, but he didn’t know and can’t control it.

My initial reaction from episode 1, and my current reaction 37 episodes and 1 movie later, are the same: Atsushi is a sweet cinnamon roll who needs a HUG and a THERAPIST and to SLEEP FOR A WEEK and I LOVE HIM

While Atsushi is our entry into the series and one of the main characters, BSD follows the supernaturally-gifted members of the "Armed Detective Agency,"  who accomplish different tasks including running a business, solving mysteries, protecting people and running interference with the local mafia, which also employs a number of supernaturally-gifted people.

This is a VERY FUN SERIES. It starts out seeming like a straightforward Underdog Good Guys vs. Well-Funded Big Bad Organization, and that’s not necessarily wrong. But as the series progresses, the “bad guys” get their share of the spotlight too.

Now first, I want to say, because I was confused for the longest time: this takes place in an alternate modern day. They’ve got smartphones and the internet, but there was apparently recently some big sort of war that doesn’t correspond to anything real, and the characters’ dress is...well:

For several episodes, despite the cell phones and computers I swear I thought this was set in the 1920s, but no. They just all have the fashion sense of a 10-year-old playing with paper dolls.

I mean, look at the image above. And then look at Mr. Edgy High-School Vampire below:

These people not only inhabit the same city, but no one ever seems to think they look out of place.

Not a criticism. I admire a series that has devoted itself to such distinctly cosplayable designs and refuses to give an explanation.

Anyway.

The general storyline is usually: the Armed Detective Agency receives a job that involves investigating something murderous and/or supernatural, or that involves protection from something murderous and/or supernatural. Sometimes this is straightforward, sometimes this is part of a longer story that means things even more murderous and supernatural are lurking in the shadows.

The players are often the Agency vs. the Mafia, but these orgs will occasionally team up for the greater good if an outside threat tries to move in. Some members of one org were previously with the other, so there’s a lot of history and emotions between certain factions.

One such complicated person is this dork: Osamu Dazai. He’s the one getting strangled by his partner.

He’s often found in the middle of a [failed] suicide attempt, or asking a pretty girl to commit a lovely double suicide with him. He’s cheerfully nihilistic, not intimidating, comes off as an airhead and a dork.

...and then you see this face, which is Universal Anime Face for “character who knows SO MUCH and is excellent at scheming.”

The characters are this show’s strength. If you’d told me during the first handful of episodes that one of my top 2 characters would be a mafia leader, I’d laugh, because why would I like a bad guy *that* much? When something is set up as clearly good vs. evil, I don’t tend to land on the side of evil regardless of evil’s extremely good character design

But hey, lots of evil gets a backstory and turn out to be super interesting--heck, this guy here is part of the focus of a half-season prequel! (Season 2, for the record--the first half is a prequel, then the second half picks up after the end of season 1.)

The series is about fighting, and people get hurt, and people have to make tough decisions. But it’s often balanced with humor, and that’s part of why I enjoyed it so much. There’s so much to track--people on both sides with tragic backstories, the city- or world-ending plots that pop up, the many, MANY attempted murders--that if it went straight through, it would be overwhelming.

But in the midst of all that, you have characters making jokes, or being inept, or responding to a hostage situation by playing rock-paper-scissors to see who deals with it, or tripping their enemy in the middle of a Very Serious Battle like Bug Bunny showing up to fight Thanos.

(None of that really translates to gifs well, but here’s a character, in the middle of a dangerous fight, picking up Mr. Teenage “I Swear I’ll Kill You If You Laugh At Me” Hot Topic Model and carrying him like a sack of potatoes.)

Another fun thing about this series is that the title translates to “Literary Stray Dogs,” and all the main characters are named after famous late writers. This is easy to miss if you’re American like me and have never heard of “Doppo Kunikida” or “Akiko Yosano,” but once international characters show up in season 2, you’re faced with “Louisa Alcott” and “John Steinbeck,” part of a group led by "Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald.”

The characters’ powers all vary as well. Their names are often weird, until you learn that the names are all lines/titles of the original authors’ works (Chuuya Nakahara’s Upon the Tainted Sorrow gravity manipulation sounds ridiculous, Astushi’s Beast Beneath the Moonlight weretiger ability sounds pretentious until you know the connection). Abilities range from “cool fighting ability” to “useful defensive ability” to “Herman Melville creates small flying whales and that’s...cool, I guess?”

Verdict

English dub? Yes, and I love it! I tried watching both, and I actually prefer the dub’s voices.

Visuals: This is a show dedicated to its aesthetic, at least as far as fashion is concerned. I don’t know if any of the character designs/outfits are based on their namesakes (although remember my comment that I thought this was set in the 20s for a while? A lot of the namesake authors were active/alive between 1900 and 1930, so...), but maybe? Or maybe they just wanted to have suspenders and hats and long coats. Whatever, it’s cool and looks good, as does the rest of the series. Much of it it bright and/or takes place in the daytime--avoiding the “too dark to see what’s going on” thing.

Worth watching? YESSSSS. Please watch sweet cinnamon roll too good too pure for this world Atsushi find a place of his own and learn he does get to have nice things. Please watch Dazai act like a total goof before the next scene shows us he’s five steps ahead of everyone else. Please watch Chuuya manipulate gravity so his hat stays on while he flips upside down. Please watch characters snark at each other even as they team up to defeat city-destroying monsters.

Where to watch (USA, as of September 2020): Funimation (sub and dub), Crunchyroll (sub and dub, plus Spanish and Portuguese)

Click my “reviews” tag below or search “mini review” on my blog to find more!

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Curious, why do you ship kiribaku? Like that ship just feels out of place compared to the dynamic in your other ships, I would've thought that bakudeku had more of the same dynamic?

As to why I don’t ship bakudeku I’ve written 2 essays about it here and here.

I.. I just don’t know what you mean by the same dynamic, seriously. Like a rival thing? Because Sousuke and Rin are also rivals and I don’t ship them. I wish ppl would look past pushing each other into the ground thing because it not a “dynamic”. Because I’ve seen ppl making post like “I guess I have a type” and there is Bakugou holding Midoriya by the throat and Nezumi holding Shion by the throat… I’m like… those ships have nothing at common at fucking all.

Like every ship has completely different pasts which put them in different perspectives. There’re different rules for different ships depending on characters and their environment. I mean, some ships are so sick that rules don’t apply to them, because they’re both sadomasochistic and if they love it like that, it’s their choice tbh, I’m not here to judge.

It’s not like bakudeku didn’t know each other, were sent to kill each other and then were forced to work together like akuatsu, so this violence doesn’t make sense here (and pls don’t say he hits means he loves). Things like “you should jump out of the window” would be like okay and funny to say in ships like soukoku. But when you’re like this with a person who is so good to you that’s just sad in my opinion. 

But actually my ships kinda do have same dynamics. It’s about finding that one special person who is “an exception” for them and they change and grow bc he makes them want to do this, a person who makes them feel like no one else can, make them do things they thought were stupid before and makes them a better version of themselves.

Like Midorima never trusted anyone the way he trusts Takao, and Takao is the only one who will get a 500$ fucking toy from him. And only for him Midorima would’ve risked being laughed at by borrowing a book for his bae. Midorima would never do it for anyone else, it’s just not the way he is.

Haru would never be where he is now if it wasn’t for Rin. Haru is not the kind of person who would go to another continent on a last minute notice, there would be no road to any world and no ume xD, Haru didn’t even have any dream until that little shit came. Rin pushes him out of his shell and makes him do crazy things that he very much enjoys.

Nezumi taught Shion how to feel, Yato as we know lately admitted that Yukine is so precious to him, he’s the only one he can’t live without in his 2000 years, like I can continue, but you do get the idea. For Kirishima rules do not apply. And Midoriya is not Bakugou’s special person. Not to mention that their dynamic hasn’t even changed after 4 seasons, while Kirishima could right now dress Bakugou in a pink apron and bake pancakes with him. Which is another thing that’s very important to me (not baking puncakes together lol, character progression).

Like even if I close my eyes on all of the beating up and insults which I can’t but IF I could… it’s still stupid. Like imagine if Rinharu grew up but their relationships still were on this stage:

Or remember Mika (who same as Midoriya were a fucking angel when they were children) tries to make friends with super grumpy Yuu who just doesn’t want any of this shit and annoyed by him:

but now imagine that Yuu has stayed this way and instead of opening up to Mika, would be hitting him and saying he’s a disgrace to a society for all of their lives? Like that would be dumb, seriously. 

Both on the left have a low self-esteem and think that their other half is much more amazing than them, but are still capable of giving them all the love. They changed, bc that’s what you do when you want somebody to stay with you, you can’t diss on someone constantly and expect them to stay with you. 

Which brings us to that twist: if Bakugou tries so hard for Kirishima, it means that he needs him and cares about him much more than he cares about his pride. He learns how to say “thank you” because Kirishima is so happy after hearing that; he accepts Kirishima touching him, because he actually wants that; he wears a costume with roses and actually ask him to be his plus one, because he knows that he will be happier if Kirishima is with him; he learns to say complementary speeches, because he can’t handle hearing a person he loves dissing himself, etc…

And seriously, we all love the cheerful one/grumpy one dynamic. But it must me written right. Maybe I’d consider it even with the lack of development if Midoriya wouldn’t lose all his dignity with Bakugou, but I just seriously don’t like this, I hate this. And it’s not even funny like in a ships who always insult each other you know in a hilarious way. It’s literally just one side abusing the other who’s like “t-t-thanks”. Mmmm… no thanks.

And you know I’m not that part of tumblr who calls every fucking ship abusive, like to the point when somebody just grabbed someone’s hand too tight. The part who thinks that the relationships should be like “look he can’t even get mad at him, he loves him so” and I’m like… yeah, they can only softly argue while drinking tea and have sex in missionary position. 

And I’m like really tired of people throwing the word “abusive” everywhere for no reason. Like Nezumi threatens Shion with a knife… omg should we call the police. Haru probably broke his spine when Rin pushed him into the fence, that’s such an abuse. Levi wanted to make a bloody cutlet from Eren in the court to enjoy eating it for lunch. It’s getting crazy sometimes in my asks. And usually when people don’t know how to prove their ship, they go “it’s abusive” so this word lost it’s meaning to me when it comes to shipping tbh.

But… I just gotta say that Midoriya and Bakugou dynamic really makes me sad all the time. For the same reason as Dazai and Akutagawa’s (I just don’t find it funny… the hanging up on him scene made me wanna puke and the part when Dazai “complimented” Akutagawa is also not funny to me). It’s just wrong on so many levels. I don’t want to see no Midoriya, no Akutagawa like this. This “admiration” is so not worthy all that humiliation. It’s cringey to watch. But even more in BNHA bc while I dislike Dazai, Bakugou is my second favorite in the anime and watching him behaving himself like this hurts me too.

And like bakudeku don’t even have one moment that would melt my heart. Like tell me a good reason to ship them. I can’t find it.

As to why I ship Kiribaku, it’s a too long long LOOONG of a story. I mean, have you seen them? Have you seen how amazing they are because of each other? Did you ever think that the fact that Bakugou attends social event, being as polite as he can, “makes new friends”, contains himself when Kirishima tells him to calm down, trying to tolerate people more, etc. that we owe it all to Eijirou? So basically every moment when you’re like “look Bakugou didn’t hit Midoriya in the face yay bakudeku”, you can thank Kirishima for it.

Also I just recently realized that Kirishima was the only person Bakugou has called by his name, when he was scared for him. And my heart was crying for like two hours.

P.S. This post I made clearly shows how kiribaku fits all my other ships.

[perhaps-blue]

Character cheat sheet

Alright so today I decided to rewatch bungou stray dogs cuz my writing is really lacking when it comes the all the characters. It feels like they’re more often than not out of character. So I wrote down notes on how they behave (and a lot of stray comments) and thought I’d share them in hopes that it might help someone else. Getting all these characters right is really hard after all. So, enjoy! And feel free to add/comment if you want to change something!

Here goes! Part 1/2 The Agency

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Atsushi

- very loud

- Lots of exclamation marks!

- Always looks worried, probably is as well

- Assume a lot

- There’s just so much panic in that small body

- Stutters

- Says stupid things to get out of something

- Not confident enough in his abilities

- Puts others above himself

- He needs to actually want to hurt someone or he doesn’t know how to fight

- Good instincts when it comes to fighting as well

- If this boy couldn’t regenerate he’d be dead by now

- Fighting spirit is much fueled by rage

- This naive little thing, stop believing everything people say

- Easily scared

- Jesus he’s gullible, stop listening to Dazai

- His will to protect others is admirable

- He can transform fully he just rarely does it

- Always sees good in people

- He is so done with everyone

- Uses San for almost everyone (as he should)

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Dazai

- Usually answer questions with questions

- Doesn’t correct assumptions

- Doesn’t make them himself

- Neutral/bored facial expression unless he’s teasing someone

- He actually is serious sometimes, actually pretty often

- Watashi

- Does go for some pretty long monologues when he explains things

- Actually listens to kunikidas orders

- Pain does in fact not bother him

- Watch him punch someone with a cheesy line

- He likes to tell the criminal how he figured it out or where they made a mistake

- Hands in pockets, always

- He shows surprise in his eyes

- Very mean when he has to, Akutagawa for example (see: my new subordinate is much better than you)

- Says Chuuya a lot, well people’s names in general

- All this pickpocketing

- I mean he can actually fight

- Also this jumping up from a laying position

- We already know he’s smart but Jesus, how do you write a character that’s smarter than yourself?

- He just sitting against the wall in a 90 degree angle so Chuuya can reach him, cute

- Does in fact not know everything, he does research to find what he needs

- He tells Oda about missions at lupin, lupin really must be mafia owned?

- “The biggest misfortune of Dazai’s enemies is that they are Dazai’s enemy”

- He did still joke a lot in the mafia, same lightheartedness as now.

- Does Dazai know it’s gonna end badly with oda? He wanted to take a picture to remember

- Uses a lot of fancy words even when young

- Carries a lock pick

- He guesses a lot and says he knew

- Dont feed him spicy food

- Fuzz up? I mean I know he curses in the manga but really?

- Basically never uses San (did he with Mori? Yes he does) Ane-San doesn’t count

- I’m happy that the mafia members are still scared of him, they know how ruthless he can be

- Does he have feelings?

- He really doesn’t predict everything, he’s just good at adapting

- He likes slapping people, you backhand that bitch, go dazai!

- Very flippant when he does something to help

- Red eeeeyeeees

- There’s no exceptions to his ability

- I wonder if he dislikes celebrations

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Kunikida

- gets angry easily

- Trusts Dazai when there’s need

- Much smarter than I give him credit for

- Super strong

- Acts on his feelings all the time

- Just.. ideals. I hadn’t realized how often he mentions them

- Very straightforward, he doesn’t say things in the nicest ways

- Shows his feelings on his face

- Calculating

- He’s proud of the younger ones but don’t show it

- Likes calling people idiots

- Can be really dense when it comes to normal things, as in not detective related shit

- Please stop listening to Dazai’s bullshit

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Kyouka

- serious

- So small and innocently cute

- Looks very cut off from reality, at least in the beginning

- She’s an assassin

- Seems like she just wants to try normal child things all the time, crepes for example.

- Maybe she missed out on growing up (like most others did)

- She’s killed 35 people

- The mafia scares her

- Is she scared of her ability? At least in the beginning

- She basically does anything others tell her

- So scared

- Doesn’t understand how normal people behave, just does as she’s learnt

- Strong independent woman (or 14 y/o)

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Yosano

- sadist

- Always ask if someone’s hurt and gets disappointed when they’re not

- Very nicely threatens people with dismemberment if they’re being a bitch

- Give them hell

- Doesn’t take anyone’s bullshit, if they’re wrong they’ll know

- Yes use that motor saw hon

- She relies on her ability a lot when she fights, though I’m sure she’s a good fighter nevertheless

- Threatens random people who are being unreasonable

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Ranpo

- very bored, always

- Does question the president when something is wrong

- He talks more than I actually thought, and it’s not always smart things, usually just rubbish

- Candy

- Very hyped when he gets to have fun

- And teaching Kyouka about candy yes

- “War is so boring” I agree Ranpo-San

- Doesn’t actually figure everything out at first glance, sometimes he asks or need clues

- Seems like he can figure people out in one glance though

- He does stupid things when he isn’t wearing his glasses, it’s a trap dear Ranpo

- Really he’s an idiot without them

- He believes in the glasses thing

- The president is the one who made his ability, sort of

- So he isn’t actually stupid without.. more like he believes he is

- The agency was created because of him

- “I’d look stupid if I turned out to be normal now” so he basically does know

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The Tanizakis

- she follows him everywhere

- His ability is so useful why don’t I ever write him?

- This sisterly love is... special

- He cares for her as much as she for him

- She shows everything on her face

- But she is very brave

- He is as well

- The brother is as old as Atsushi

- He worries most when she’s in danger

- “For Naomi I’d gladly burn the world”

- Well he can fly a plane

*

*

President

- cares about everyone in the agency

- Appears out of nowhere

- My dude’s got a boat, probably have more than one safe house as well. Oh and a car. Imagine them owning a plane/helicopter. Note: they do in fact own a fighter plane

- Always knows what’s going on somehow

- Very fair in giving everyone a chance

- Looks pretty cold hearted

- Bet he’s got a thing for saving children as well (Odasaku would do great in the agency with him)

- Takes no bs

- How did Natsume get the permit for them?

- Op fighter, better than kunikida

- Puts it on others to explain plans

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Kenji

- he says such horrible things in such a nice way. (The person would be tied up and thrown off a cliff~)

- Really not aware how the world works

- Happy go lucky

- Doesn’t look at death with any feelings unlike Atsushi

- Knows everyone

- Doesn’t judge anyone based on looks or so

- How are people scared of him

- These people would do anything for him what

- Let’s smile and wave around a pole, it’ll only scare the living shit out of everyone

- Straight forward

- Takes everything at face value

- “If you are sincere you can communicate with people”

- He could take a few hits yes

- Many cows as well

- Lots of mentions of “back home things work this way”

- He actually goes to sleep after eating, thought he only lost his strength

- City folk really are amazing

[project-nightshade]

11/11/11 - Tag Game

Thanks for the tag @ofinkblotsandscript !! :)

Rules: answer 11 questions, ask 11 questions of 11 people

——

1. What is your favourite genre to write?

Fantasy probably, especially high fantasy! It’s just so fun to build a fantasy world from scratch!

2. Who is your favourite OC and why?

I change favourites all the time but currently it’s Corinth because I’m so satisfied with his (planned) character arc!

3. Who is your least favourite OC and why?

I don’t really have a least favourite OC, but I do have several neglected ones haha

4. Do you ever find yourself self-inserting in your writing?

No, not really. But I do have something to say about self-inserts that is not actually related to the question.

This is going to sound controversial but I think the writing community is overly-critical of self-insert characters.

The main issue many may have with self-insert characters, is not so much the fact that it’s a self-insert, but that the writer can be too biased towards their self-insert character to a point where the writing becomes illogical. But if self-insert characters are given the same treatment and same amount of complexities as any other character, they can actually work really well!

For example, in Dazai Osamu’s iconic literary work ‘No Longer Human’, Dazai wrote himself into the protangonist of the story, and the character worked so well that I find myself crying at climatic parts of the story!

There are many other of such classic literary work, where the story is essentially a fictional autobiography of the authors themselves, like W. Somerset Maugham’s ‘Of Human Bondage’. And sometimes the author may write themselves into side characters of their story, like when Fyodor Dostoevsky wrote himself as the father in ‘The Brothers Karamazov’.

Heck, ‘Diary of a Young Girl’ was literally Anne Frank’s personal diary, and it resonated with so many readers worwide!

My point is made, it’s time to debunk the myth that self-insert characters are inherently bad, when they can in fact be written well when given the same amount of complexity as any other character.

5. Are you hoping to publish your work? If so will you submit your work or self-publish?

I actually don’t know. For Project Nightshade, I have the world, the character and the plot planned out, but I haven’t given much thought to publishing yet. Right now I’m inclining towards making it a visual novel, so I’m thinking maybe tapas? Idk I really don’t know yet, I might write instead if my art skills are not good enough :”

6. What is your favourite book and why?

Oh no it’s so hard to pick a favourite because I have so many! But if I have to, it’s got to be one is Jimmy Liao’s (幾米） book ‘Wo De Shi Jie Dou Shi Ni’ （我的世界都是你), which roughly translates to ‘My World is You’.

Jimmy writes short illustrated books, but he has such a unique storytelling style that it had struck a chord with me since I was very young (maybe 7 or so). His sentence structure and choice of words are very simple, such that even a child can understand it, yet the simplicity and authenticity of his words made them beautifully poetic. His accompanying illustrations are whimsical and beautifully composed, and lends his book such an iconic look, that it becomes immediately recognisable to his readers! I have so much admiration for him as both an author and an artist!

I adore all of his works, but his book ‘My World is You’ takes the cake for me. The book is about a little girl dealing with the loss of her mother (as represented by her puppy ragdoll), where each night she visits a different entity in a room and learns a different lesson about loss. The story is told from the little girl’s perspective and dealt with such a heavy topic in such a profound and astoundingly poetic way, that I find myself clinging tightly to every single word. The story is such a simple story, yet is so emotional that I still find myself crying my eyes out every time even though I’ve probably read it over twenty times already. The book is cleverly written, because while it appeals to children through its beautiful illustrations, it also grapples with mature themes like loss in a sophisticated manner, such that it can help children learn about loss in a healthy way. At the same time, his book also appeals to adults, who can relate with the little girl’s struggle with loss, and is also more capable of interpreting complex meanings hidden in the narrative.

Jimmy Liao is seriously underrated and I hope that someday his works can be translated so that they can reach a wider international audience. I had fallen in love with his writing (and drawing) at age 7 and even now I still absolutely adore his work, and if anything I learnt to appreciate them more! In other words, his writing is really one that ages well along with his readers, and his books will always have a special place in my heart.

7. Do you set yourself goals in your writing? If so what is your current goal?

Not really, I just work on my wip whenever I have free time. Right now I’m just focusing on polishing the worldbuilding as well as the outline :”

8. Do you like to handwrite your drafts or type them up?

Definitely type. It’s just so much easier to edit :”

9. What do you think is the hardest thing about being a writer?

Personally it’s writing in general, like finding the right turn of phrases, or appropriate metaphors. I only picked up English when I was like 10, and I wasn’t fluent in it until like 12 or something. Even now I’m still quite insecure about my English (especially pronounciation but I guess that falls outside of writing), but I am slowly gaining more confidence in my linguistic skills, and I hope one day I can reach a level that I can be proud of!

10. Do you plan out your projects or just start writing?

Plan, plan, and plan! I personally can’t dive into something without excessive planning, but I really respect those who can! I tried writing something spontaneously before but it was a trainwreck so I told myself never again haha :”

11. Do you like to stick to one project or have multiple ones at once?

One project. I can’t imagine juggling multiple projects at once, I’d be too overwhelmed! Heck, this entire blog is dedicated to just one wip! Mad respect to all of you out there with two or more wips. Wow!

——

Here are my 11 questions:

1. Tell us about yourself!

2. Tell us about your current wip(s)!

3. Tell us about the protangonist in your wip(s)! (Who are they? What are they like? What are their goals/motivations?)

4. What got you into writing? What was the first time you ever wrote?

5. What are some of your inspirations? (It can be a book, movie, tv show, anything!)

6. Is there a particular author you look up to? Who is it and why?

7. Have you ever experienced a writing block? How did you deal with it?

8. Do you outline your wip(s) or just go with the flow?

9. Is there a particular character archetype or trope that you are fond of writing? What is it and why?

10. Tell us how you name your OCs!

11. Tell us a random fact about either your OCs or your wip(s)!

——

Tagging: @hyba @sheabutterskyes @ofimber @amiable-cherry @royalbounties @nerdvanauniverse @the-real-rg @winonapeaks @coffeeandpurplepens @awritinglen @thelostandforgottenageha

Anyone else is welcome to answer the 11 questions too! Thanks for reading :)

[winnieyylau]

Reunited, for the last time

Characters/Pairings: Akutagawa Ryuunosuke/Nakajima Atsushi

Summary:  For once, Akutagawa decided to strive for what's important to him.

The Shin-Soukoku ver. of this fic

~~~

“Dazai-san!” Akutagawa shouted as he entered the scene.

Both Akutagawa and Chuuya had rushed to where Fyodor Dostoyevsky―the culprit of all the disasters currently happening in Yokohama―is according to Dazai’s information. Expecting to simply act as a back-up, they didn’t bring more than a troop of men. After all, they were talking about Dazai, who might just be able to solve anything humanly possible.

But they were wrong. Never in a million years would they ever imagine that even the great Dazai Osamu would fail. The sight that welcomed them was quite a horrifying one. The brunet was unsteady on his feet, looking as weak as a kitten. On the other side of the room, there was the Russian guy they’re looking for, lying on the floor and laughing breathlessly. A book and some papers were scattered messily here and there.

The Mafiosos had yet to recover from their shock when Dazai suddenly collapses. Thankfully, the tall blonde guy next to him was quick to catch him. But that didn’t make them feel at ease at all.

Akutagawa was horrified. Though as much as he is concerned about Dazai, it was nothing compared to what the redhead beside him was feeling. Akutagawa glanced at Chuuya from the corner of his grey orbs. Chuuya was silent. He said nothing as he dashed to where Dazai was.

Akutagawa didn’t know why, but watching the side of Nakahara Chuuya that he had never seen before stunned him into silence as well. He stood there unmoving while listening to Dazai’s eplanation about their current situation.

The brunet’s voice was shaky and he was anxiously holding Chuuya’s hand the whole time. It was painful to watch, even for someone like Akutagawa who doesn’t seem to recognize how emotions feel like. But once again, he couldn’t even begin to fathom the pain in the redhead’s chest.

“Chuuya...” said Dazai, sounding uncharacteristically weak, tightening his grip on the other’s hand.

“What is it?”

“Dying alone is really sad, you see? But there isn’t any beautiful lady around.”

“What are you trying to say, mackerel-face?” There wasn’t any sign of venom in his tone.

“I’m thinking that even Chuuya will do for now.” Dazai chuckled. “So, marry me, Chuuya?”

The whole marriage proposal sounded like a joke. That is, if you can even call it a ‘proposal’. Normally, the redhead would shake it off since it’s stupid. But not this time. The look on Chuuya’s face wasn’t that of disgust. Akutagawa wasn’t sure how he’d describe it. All he could say is that Chuuya certainly didn’t seem to hate the idea.

“Say no more, bastard.” Said Chuuya in a voice so soft that anyone besides Dazai could barely hear. He then helped the brunet to stand on his own before giving him a ride on his back. Ready to set off before they were stopped by one of their forgotten spectators.

The dark-haired male was putting on an uneasy look. Seeing the heart-wrenching scene from both of his superior had suddenly reminded him of a certain someone. The person he’d least expected himself to think of in this near-death situation. The person that’s been getting on his nerve these past months. The person that has stolen the attention of his admired superior. The person he should be hating the most : Nakajima Atsushi.

“Wait, Dazai-san!”

“Yes, Akutagawa-kun?” replied Dazai with a limp voice. He gazed at the hand grabbing on his own arm. Then looked back at his ex-subordinate.

Akutagawa’s breathing was uneven. It was simple yet difficult to voice out his thought. But given the situation, he realized it was not worth wasting his time anymore. “Where is... Where is the Man-Tiger?”

Dazai didn’t answer immediately. He’s still as pale as ever, though amusement clearly showed in his eyes. Then a curve of smile formed on the brunet’s lips. “Atsushi-kun is still on the battlefield. No one could stop him so we had not other choice but to leave him behind.”

Akutagawa’s grey orbs widened in disbelief. He then uttered a quick thanks before storming out of the room.

Akutagawa ran down the streets, up the stairs, past the alleyways. Basically all around Yokohama, searching for the whereabout of the Man-Tiger, He didn’t know how long he’s been running. Nor did he care about  his breath running out and the frequent coughing that’s been hurting his throat like hell. All those didn’t matter at the moment.

During all his running, various things related to Nakajima Atsushi flowed through Akutagawa’s mind. Such as what their first encounter was like. And then how Atsushi decided to face him head on for the first time. They beat each other up quite badly and had been on bad terms since then. When they met again after that, they were forced to team up, understand, and even fight alongside each other (though it was mostly schemed by Dazai).

Akutagawa almost laughed at those memories. Any good impression was almost nonexistant between them. So, why does Akutagawa have this kind of feeling toward the Man-Tiger? The kind of feeling which made him longs for the younger guy. Which made him think of what Nakajima Atsushi is doing, who he is with, and where he is when they don’t see one another.

The dark-haired male didn’t know emotions. He cared for no one besides Gin, his sister, and probably Dazai Osamu. But none of them showed Akutagawa how the world in the light looks like the way Atsushi does. That supposed-to-be good for nothing Man-Tiger taught Akutagawa Ryuunosuke how to love.

The Mafioso had reached the central of the town. He looked around. Finding out that the surroundings over there were much more horrible than the rest of the town. The buildings, cars, and streets were wrecked in havoc. Seemed like they were all destroyed with a great force.

Right before Akutagawa took a turn, a loud roar―most likely recognized of a tiger’s―was heard from nearby. The raven-haired speed up his own pace upon hearing that. A few more steps and he finally found what he’s looking for.

“Man-Tiger!” Akutagawa screamed his lung out.

The said younger guy turned around and what Akutagawa saw next broke his heart. All four limbs and the face of Atsushi had turned almost completely into that of a tiger. Ears started growing on top of his head. His teeth slowly turning into canines one by one. The dazzling light in those yellowish purple orbs had started to fade and replaced by sharp glint. He looked at the newcomer as if he wanted to devour him whole.

Without as much of a warning, Atsushi leaped from where he’s standing to Akutagawa. He was even faster than how he usually is on his best day. If Akutagawa hadn’t been quick to react, he might have lost his right arm.

“Get yourself together, Man-Tiger!” The dark-haired male screamed again. But it was futile. No words could enter Atsushi’s mind anymore.

The effect of the Book worked differently for each person. Atsushi’s Beast Beneath the Moon was making him stronger more than his body could handle before slowly turning him into a complete beast. Whilst Akutagawa’s Rashoumon was growing weaker each time he used it. It was already tough for him to keep up with defending attacks from Atsushi, let alone throwing any himself.

And the worst case of scenario just had to happen. Rashoumon stopped reacting all of a sudden. Atsushi took the chance when Akutagawa’s undefended to send him flying with a kick. Causing the older of the two to cough blood.

“Damn... Why does it have to be now?!” Akutagawa grumbled under his breath. At this rate he wouldn’t last any longer. Akutagawa gritted his teeth tightly. Wiped away the blood dripping from his mouth as he used up all the strength he could gather in his body to stand up. Meanwhile, Atsushi was bolting towards him, ready to finish him off.

“For the last time, listen to my order once again,” whispered Akutagawa before shouting, “Rashoumon!”

As soon as the words were spoken, Rashoumon was active again and back in action. It extended from Akutagawa’s coat and captured Atsushi’s limbs. At least he managed to stop Atsushi’s movement for now. Making good use of the little time he had, Akutagawa rushed to the younger gy and smashed him into a hug.

It wasn’t that easy though. Sure, the Man-Tiger is now in Akutagawa’s arms. But he tried to break free violently and roaring nonstop.

“Man-Tiger... no, Atsushi!” he exclaimed. And the said boy miraculously stopped moving. “Come back to your sense, you piece of shit! Who was it that had said he wanted to prove me wrong? That he’d make a bet with me of whether I’d like living in the light? That even someone like me could love like the way you do? You haven’t even seen the result yet and now you’re gonna leave just like that? Like hell I’m letting you do as you please!”

Silence filled the air between them. No one made a sound for god-knows-how-long until Akutagawa felt a stream of tears wetting his coat followed by a hoarse voice saying, “Aku... ta... gawa...”

Akutagawa felt like the burden on his shoulder was finally gone. He released the breath he’s been holding unconsciously. Rashoumon finally retreated and was gone for good. Leaving only the frail body of Akutagawa, who’s started coughing blood again.

“Back at last, huh, Man-Tiger?”

“Akutagawa... Akutgawa...” called Atsushi repeatedly. Tears streaming down his cheek nonstop as he hugged the older guy back.

A fit if coughs interrupted them. Akutagawa clamped one hand over his mouth―staining it with his own blood in the process―while the other stayed at Atsushi’s slender back.

“If I could, Man-Tiger,” said the Mafioso, releasing the younger guy from his hug and cupped his face with both hand. The blood on his hand mixed with Atsushi’s tears as he wiped them away from the latter’s face. “I’d like to see that stupid smile of yours again.”

It was pretty ironic how the usually cold-blooded Akutagawa could only be gentle when he’s on the brink of death.

Atsushi stopped crying and corrected, “Hey, my name isn’t ‘Man-Tiger’.” His tail and the ears on top of his head had grown fully. His face could hardly be called a human’s anymore. It was only a matter of time until he turns completely into a white tiger and dies. Even so, the smile he put on right at that moment was, by far, the most enchanting one Akutagawa had ever seen.

“Oh yeah, that’s right, Atsushi.” Said Akutagawa as he pressed their forehead together. A moment of silence again before the raven-haired’s leg finally gave out and he collapsed on the ground. Earning Atsushi’s worry.

“You alright, Akutagawa?!” Atsushi kneeled down as well to assist him.

“I’m just―” coughing again. “Nah, I’m fine.”

Concern hadn’t leave Atsushi’s expression, leading Akutagawa to find something to distract the younger guy.

“I can’t get used to you worrying about me.”

Atsushi was confused, but soon he realized what the other was trying to do. Having calmed down, the white-haired replied, “The same goes for you. You’re rather talkative today, aren’t you?” He adjusted their position so the both of them could sit comfortably.

“I told you before I’m not the mute type.”

“Still, you’re out of character.”

Akutagawa didn’t respond to that rightaway. His eyelids felt really heavy and his head was spinning like crazy. Though the Mafioso did a great job in hiding it. He kept quiet for a while before saying, “Lend me your lap for a bit.”

Atsushi had yet to answer when the raven-haired casually lays his head on top of his thigh. He might be hiding it well, but the other wasn’t exactly a fool either. Atsushi could, more or less, guess Akutagawa’s current condition already. The glow in his eyes softened as he placed one hand on Akutagawa’s forehead and played with his hair. Being extra careful not to hurt him with his claws.

“See? You’re at it again.”

“Yeah, whatever, Man-Tiger.” Answered Akutagawa, letting the former do as he likes and slowly closing his grey orbs.

“Why do you call me that again?”

“Can’t shake off the habit. So you’ll have to bear with it.”

“I wouldn’t want to get used to it if we have to stay together for a long period of time.”

Akutagawa was coughing up more blood again before answering. “Now that I think about it, I saw Dazai-san ‘proposed’ to Nakahara-san before coming here.”

“Wow, for real?” A look of surprise from Atsushi as he chuckled. “I don’t think they’d ever gone to such length given the normal occasion.”

Akutagawa snorted, eyes still closed. “I’d say the same for us.”

“Yeah, right. We’re nothing compared to those two though.” Atsushi moved his hand to stroke Akutagawa’s face. “All we’ve done is trying to kill each other.”

“I wouldn’t deny that.” Akutagawa’s voice sounded limp. Almost as bad as Dazai’s that he had heard a while ago.

“Oh, I should have finish you off just now. It was such a good chance.” Said the white-haired male jokingly.

“Shut up, Man-Tiger!” scoffed the older accompanied by another fit of coughs. “But I’d rather die by your hands than any other jerk though. Not even Dazai-san’s.”

“There you go about Dazai-san again.” Atsushi laughed. “I guess I’m kinda flattered to hear that?”

Akutagawa reached out his hand to hold Atsushi’s. “You should. Think of it as an honor.”

“Okay, okay. As long as you’re satisfied, yeah?” No answer. “Akutagawa?” Still no answer. No more answer from the Mafioso.

Akutagawa didn’t respond anymore. Warmth slowly left his body. His grip on Atsushi’s hand loosened gradually. Atsushi knew what was going on already. He kept calm and said nothing as he held the other closer to him. He stayed there unmoving as the time passed.

The next day, the government sent a team to Yokohama in order to investigate things regarding the incident. At the central of the town, they found the body of the lifeless Mafioso, Akutagawa Ryuunosuke along with an unidentified corpse of white tiger in his arms.

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