#i stayed up until 3 am btw i am so tired i cant sleep though

[tyeballz]

something is working....

[akaakeis]

hi sav !! 2, 15 and 21 for your ask game !! i wanna make sure you’re drinking enough water AND eating enough!! make sure to eat and take care of yourself <33333 i hope your day was great(and you can totally talk about it to me if you’d like!!)

aaa hi dear!! so happy to see u in my inbox <3 i think u double sent this ask so ill just reply to this one !!

2 - Show or talk about your most recent work of art? (Does not have to be a drawing or painting. Anything counts.)

ooo i would say my most recent work of art is this oikawa oneshot !! im definitely proud of it :) i was gonna talk about and show a recent drawing but since anything counts.. this is the most recent <3

15 - Have you drank a liquid recently? (If not, find something to drink!)

YES I HAVE!! i have a drink from the airport its a kiwi strawberry vitamin water thingy and ITS SO GOOD I LOVE IT SM??? DONT FORGET TO DRINK SOMETHING AS WELL SAE

21 - Something you are excited for?

aaa i don't have anything that im particularly excited for at the moment! OH im excited for this hoodie that i ordered to arrive tho!! it's a tour hoodie for niki- shes one of my fav music artists! <3

...also since u offered 😼 my day was really weird idk? let me give u a rundown!! so picture me staying up until like 4 am for my cousin's bday party screaming karaoke, dancing, having pillow fights, giving a speech... all that... i was so so so tired bro omg. when i gave my speech i cried so yeah and i also lost my voice during karaoke since we were singing bruno mars a lot 😭 BUT THAT WAS ALL YESTERDAY FOR ME ONTO TODAY!! when i wake up im exhausted im dazed and confused fr AND MY THROAT HURTS!!!

so i get out of bed and we have guests over (i was sleeping over at my cousins house btw) and theres this one woman w a daughter my age- she's super friendly and she really likes me idk 😭 she sees me and she keeps lightly pushing and tapping my shoulders and like... putting a hand on my knee? as she talks to me? one thing about me, im not the fondest of physical touch unless i initiate it so that was super duper uncomfortable blergh

BUT AFTER THAT I HEADED TO MY AUNTS HOUSE BC WE HELD THE PARTY LAST NIGJT THERE so we went over to clean up!! it was pretty smooth and i was listening to an audiobook as i cleaned bc i had to read some chapters for homework!! so that was kinda nice!! and then after cleaning up i had to go to the airport

AND AT THE AIRPORT IT WAS SO BAD SAE IT WAS SO BAD IM NOT JOKING so as u already know im 15, a MINOR!! so im flying w my mom and we go to the security checkpoints and the officers keep telling me to go ON MY OWN through a checkpoint (which i cant do, because i dont own an identification badge?? idk why they were trying to make me) so my mom had to go through arguing w an officer who was saying i could do it even though im a minor... but we got through fine after that!! THEN AFTER THAT WE WERE WAITING TO BOARD BUT THEY NEVER ANNOUNCED BOARDING?? anyway we were last call and this one flight attendant was pretty rude to us (presumably bc we were last) and was just generally giving us a hard time so that was annoying... BUT IM BACK HOME NOW!! yap session over

[technowoah]

could you do 21 and 23 from the prompt list with george x gn! or fem!reader?

btw i adore your writing!! i love all your ideas and your imagines are so original ahhh i love them sm

So Cliché [3:41 am]

TYSM! OMG THAT MEANS A LOT TO ME🤚🏾😭

Also sorry this came out so late

I am guessing the prompts are from the fluff list, but if this isn't what you wanted I'll do it from the angst list!

21) "Are you up? Do you need me to stay up?"

23) "Pinki promise kiss"

⚠︎ swearing, fluffy stuff, i didn't proofread 😪

Your eyes adjusted to the dark bedroom you were in. The door was closed and the curtains were slightly opened letting in the slightest slither of light inside. The sun hasn't rose yet and your body felt heavy. You turned around under the warm covers of your bed and looked at the clock beside your bed that shined 3:41 am.

You groaned as you rotated around in bed until you found a comfortable way to lay down. Time seemed to be going slower when you woke up, the need to sleep flooded your mind but you just couldn't relax. Turning around again you faced your closed door that led to the hallway. The door always had to be at least cracked and not completely closed, but your roomate was making too much noise at an ungodly hour.

Living alone wasn't good for you at all, you didn't feel comfortable living alone. It was so quiet all the time and no one was around to entertain you or comfort you when things went bump in the night until your friend George suggested that you moved in with him. You always complained that you needed a roommate so he proposed the idea that you two moved in together to make you feel safe.

A few days from that conversation you packed your things and moved in with George. Slowly but surely you moved all of your things into George's place and he was always there to help. George had two bedrooms in his house and they were right next to eachother. You both woke up around the same time and went to bed at totally different times.

George and you always made breakfast together, sat around the house thinking of things to do and just end up sitting on the couch watching anything interesting he finds, doing chores and going out quickly to then inevitably end up back to the couch to do absolutely nothing. George always ended up sleeping while you two had this time together because he stayed up so late you dont know how he could sleep like a baby like that all the time. He ended up either laying on the armrest of the couch or on your shoulder. You always thought that was uncomfortable for him, but he always ended up there. The last couple times he ended up laying on your thighs which flustered you the first time, and the second, basically anytime he goes to lay on your lap you tense up.

You weren't afraid of physical touch, but this was new to you, you've grown accustomed to George and you think you a crush evolved from nothing. You two have been really close and it all started with a stupid Minecraft server. Ever since you moved in you two have grown closer than ever and your complicated feelings if you would want George as a boyfriend or not flooded your mind as we speak.

[4:01]

You still couldn't sleep and it was becoming a problem. You tossed and turned until you felt comfortable and began to count sheep, but you already got to 40 and didn't feel sleepy at all. Encasing yourself underneath your covers didn't help, it only made you hot. You were wide awake at this point. You had sat up and got out of your bed slipping on some fluffy socks and quitely opened the door and shuffled your way to the living room. You tried to stay quiet trying to keep George asleep as you turned on the TV.

Turning down the volume you sat there for a while underneath a blanket you and George had on the couch for times like this. You had a throw pillow underneath your head while you layed horizontal, across the couch. Two shows later and your eyes began to droop, it was a sense of accomplishment because you were finally sleeping so you stayed there still so you continue to lull yourself to sleep.

"Y/N? What are you doing here?" George asked with tired eyes and gravelly voice. "Are you up? Do you need me to stay up?"

"Fuck you George. I was about to go to sleep. I kinda want you up with me." You complained as you pulled the blanket over your head with your eyes still closed.

"C'mon silly get in your bed. Were you here all night?" George said while leaning against a wall, clearly still tired.

"No. I couldn't sleep. Why are you here?" You asked, but your words mumbled together.

"I heard the TV." George pointed at the TV that was illuminating objects in the dark.

You hummed and he did as well. "Are you okay bub?"

You had a small smile on your face, you loved the small petnames he gave you. You had a small feeling that he didn't mean it in the romantic way you wanted it to be.

"I woke up and cant sleep now. I was almost asleep, but you came in so.." You said still drowsy from staying in the state of in-between being awake and sleep.

"Im sorry." George said with his head against the wall, eyes closed. "Mm sorry I'm tired." George wiped his face.

"Could you sleep with me?"

"What?" George asked laughing slightly.

"No not that, just sleep in the same bed." You said. Your brain was just working on his own. You wouldn't have said this if you were awake, but you were desperate and needed sleep. Also you were touch starved and your crush on George was becoming more apparent each day, but that wasnt the point now.

"Yeah I'll do that." George said while pushing himself off of the wall.

"What?" You said thinking he would reject the offer.

"You sound like me. Come on." George said making his way over to you and reaching his arms out. You sat up looking at him with half open eyes and ended up grabbing both of his hands to pull yourself up.

Once both of you were on your feet you both lazily made your way to your bedroom. You mad yourself comfortable under the covers while George sat ontop, restricting the cover's movements.

"You're ontop of the blankets, it's weird." You mumbled.

"Sorry, sorry. Um, what would you want me to do?" George asked as he got off of the bed and stood there awaiting for an answer.

Your back was facing towards him when you answered. "Come on under the covers, I dont bite." You faced towards him when you said that.

He smiled a bit and then got under the covers with you, he layed on his back facing the ceiling and his hands on his stomach. He was uncomfortable.

You turnedon your side facing George. "Are you uncomfortable? If you want you can leav-"

"No! No. Im just- Ive never done this before you know. I've never comforted anyone like this." George quickly said.

"Like cuddled anyone?"

"Like cuddle, yeah."

A silence fell upon you two until George laid on his side facing you. His face was close to yours and you tried not to freak out right in front of him. He reached his hand across your body and started to rub your back. You shuffled your body a little so that your heads weren't at the same level, you were level with his chest and you got closer leaning your forehead against his chest. You both got more comfortable and got closer in touch, he soothingly rubbed your back trying to lull you to sleep.

It was a while that you both layed like this, basking in eachothers comfort

"I wish I could sing like Wilbur. That would make this moment better." George whispered against your hair.

"You being here makes this moment already great though." You whispered as well hoping he could hear you.

"Really?"

"Really. I mean it. I love this." You pulled him close.

"I love 𝑦𝑜𝑢 ."

"I love you too."

You smiled with your eyes closed. "Promise you love me?"

"Pinki promise I love you." George lazily locked both of your little fingers together.

"Pinki promise kiss." You puckered your lips hoping he would get the hint.

You heard George chuckle and he softly pecked you lips, it was like he was testing the waters. You opened your eyes and he had a small tired smile on his face, the two of you ended up giggling like little kids and then going back into the calming state you both were in.

Thank God for you both being in that state of tiredness. You just hoped that you both remembered what happend at [4:32 am] when you both wake up.

EXTRA:

You were alone in the kitchen this morning making pancakes. George hasnt met up with you yet and you questioned why. Yes you remembered last night and you're glad that you finally had the courage to say that you loved him, but it wasn't how you pictured it happening.

You flipped your pancake as George came put from around the corner looking fresher and more awake than last night. He smiled at you and made his way over to you. He closely stood by you and reached over your head to grab a glass from above. He only stepped that closely to you to grab a glass.

You begun to think that he forgot about last night's kiss. He had filled his glass with ice and then with water he stood over by the refrigerator for a while until he walked over to you.

You had just finished the second pancake of the day and faced George who was stood beside you waiting for your attention. He smiled at you and slowly leaned down and gave you a kiss on your lips. It was slow and longing, like he wanted to do this for quite a while. One of his hands found the side of your face and the other one pulled you closer by your waist. He then pulled away having a big smile on his face, you matched his smile clearly glad that he did that and remember.

"This is so cliché you know that right?" You laughed.

George rolled his eyes playfully. "Exactly, I feel like I've read this somewhere before."

"Like on Wattpad?" You jokingly asked.

"Yeah I read a bunch of DreamNotFound fanfiction on there." George said as he swayed you back and forth along with him.

"Hey~!"

"I'm just kidding! And I pinki promised didnt I?" George rose his eyebrows.

"You did! You did!" You smiled at him and he matched your smile again.

"I love you." George said.

"I love you too." You replied.

"I could get used to this!"

[swampgallows]

therapy today went okay but i feel like i talked too much lmfao. i passed out around like 10pm and now im awake again and uhh hmmm ngngngghghhhmhm

also she asked me like “find out what you wanna get out of therapy and then we can set some goals” lmao i wanna GET FIXED 

i dunno if i am actually mentally ill or if it’s just my mom/environment or if i’m neurodivergent somehow or if i need medication or whatever the fuck it is, i just know that it’s not normal to feel okay one day and then have some minor thing happen that catapults me into feeling suicidal. im doing better lately but that’s why i signed up for therapy NOW because i know when im feeling good i get this delusion of like “haha see i never needed it at all :)” and then some little fucking thing happens (or nothing happens) and suddenly i cant get out of bed for three days. i told her that i think it’s more than my environment because even when i was busy at work and even when i was busy and away from home in college i had extremely persistent and severe depression, got into several different overlapping abusive relationships, nearly failed my classes one semester, and then i got hit by a car, was in a wheelchair for 6 months, then had our car hit by a semi immediately afterward. it’s time for new glasses btw lmao as i am still wearing the same pair that got scratched to shit and annihilated in the accident. lmfao The Accident™

this is a pic of them from the night of the accident and the scratches have only gotten worse. id take a new pic but im in bed in the dark and whatever

the therapist seemed impressed with my psychology knowledge which was kind of discomforting, in a way. i guess im just so used to my own situation and people utilizing the internet to learn about their own head cases that i dont consider it novel to have actually done research. also because with my other experiences i felt like doctors would be dismissive of me as if i was trying to one-up them or something, like “well -I- have the degree and YOU dont” like, well yeah, im not sitting here trying to correct you but i am gonna use the terminology im familiar with even if theyre super special SAT words or w/e (like i’m gonna say shit like “comorbid” and “hypnagogic” because that’s the terminology i use all the time to describe these situations... i throw out “5 dollar words” all the time :\) but i think maybe by also having a video/verbal conversation w me that she knows i’m not sitting there meticulously typing up the most fancy schmancy shit i can find, flippin through a thesaurus like a blood elf nobleman vampire’s purple prose or somethin.

i guess what i wanna get out of therapy is uh

1. i dont want to be suicidal, which means 2. i have to build confidence, which means 3. i have to become self-reliant, or more self-reliant than i am.

she suggested, on the grounds of my mom giving me interrogation any time i try to go out on my own (hence me only feeling comfortable to go out when i fucking sneak out of the house or on the VERY rare occasions that she isn��t home) that i have a written list that i either give to her personally or write out and leave for her to read at her leisure of all the answers to her questions: where ive gone, when i’ll be back, what i’m doing, etc. the problem is coming home, though, because then she reads me the riot act of guilt on anything i did. if i go out and get food, it becomes about her. if i go out and do an errand, it becomes about her. everything i do somehow falls back on her. 

i explained to the therapist that even when i was still working—a perfect chance to learn to drive and drive regularly—i took the bus the entire time. but i’d have to be driven TO the bus stop and then take the bus to work, which meant my mom drove me to the bus every day. and my dad would talk about how good it was for MY MOM to have a reason to get up in the morning, and that it’s good for her because it gives her a kind of schedule or obligation to follow. so then like... my schedule now becomes HER schedule. and i martyr my potential independence of driving to work on my own in order to give my mom a sense of purpose. 

so...every day, mom picked me up from the bus stop, just like she had been for all the years i was in school. of course i never went out and did anything after (or before!) work; i never had the freedom. sure i could tell my mom partway through the day if i was staying late or going somewhere else, but my work was also in the middle of a canyon, five miles of nothing in either direction. if i missed the bus home, i wouldnt have another chance to go home for another hour. so having buses come only once an hour and then also having my mom waiting for me at the stop... it was just too much trouble to say like “hm i think i’ll go grab a smoothie before work” or “maybe i’ll hang with my coworkers a bit and go grab dinner with them” or “maybe i’ll start going to the gym after work”. i couldnt make any executive decisions about my own life. i think that restriction of freedom happens for lower income people too, since youre relying on a (notoriously shitty) bus service to get anywhere and you also cant just throw money around that often. i had a little slush fund to treat myself every so often but i didnt have the access to it. 

EVERY day that i was 20 minutes away from the stop i would have to text my mom the name of the stop (imagine, if it were “maple street” or something, my entire text message history with my mom just being “maple” “k” “maple” “k” back and forth for months) in case she had fallen asleep or was doing something, as the bus would sometimes be late or early or whatever. and sometimes i would delay that text on purpose to have the extra time to buy something from one of the fast food places located at my bus stop, then hide it in the bottom of my bag and hope it wasn’t too aromatic that my mom would notice and ask me about it. 

BECAUSE if i bought food on a day she made dinner, she would flagellate herself about it, and if i bought food on a day that she DIDNT make dinner she would flagellate herself about it. it’s HER FAULT because she doesn’t make food enough that i have to go buy my own :((((, so the one time she does cook i’m already getting food because she’s unreliable :((((, and shit like that, instead of like, just because there IS food doesn’t...mean anything!!!!! maybe i just wanted a certain kind of food that day!! But it becomes about her!!!! everything i do hurts her. everything i do. so i just got adjusted to just... not eating, or eating the same things over and over. eventually, when i was still working, i would eat nothing but a muffin until i came home. and if there was food, i would eat it, and if there wasn’t, then i wouldn’t eat. many nights i went to bed without eating even if there WAS food because i was just so fucking tired.

i dunno i kinda lost my train of thought but basically it’s hard to assert myself because i’m not confident because a lot of the time i dont know if im doing something right. it reminds me a lot of the scene in tangled where rapunzel fucks up and something bad happens to her and her mom catches her in the act, and she uses that to reinforce rapunzel’s dependence on her. like obviously my mom isn’t abusive like that but it makes me afraid to fail and even MORE afraid to even try, because i know that if i DO fail--whatever it is--it will just be more evidence for why i should have just asked her or had her do it. and more evidence, to me, of why im worthless and shitty and incapable of doing anything.

like the other day my mom wanted me to follow her in a separate car to a car place to drop off the car she was driving, and then we’d go home together in one car. but she wanted me to do it at 9 in the fucking morning and let me know two days beforehand. i had been going to BED at like 7am at the time so i was already like ‘man this is gonna suck’. but i was still up in the morning and was getting ready to take a shower, iw as on time, but my mom said “i can tell how tired you are and how nervous you are about doing this so you know what dont worry about it. go back to bed.” and it was really shitty for me because YEAH i was super tired and YEAH i didnt feel like i was capable of driving by myself at that moment, like i probably COULD HAVE if it were an emergency, but my mom talked about doing all this shit afterward like going on a shopping trip and stuff and BASICALLY it’s less that i was afraid of the driving but more that i knew the errand wouldn’t end there. and i had gotten zero sleep and just didnt wanna fucking do it, i didnt wanna have a “girl time :)” outing with my mom, and i knew i’d basically get trapped into hanging out with my mom if i went. so i stayed home. but then that’s also a blow to me because stupid fucking worthless idiot that i am cant even drive ten miles in a fucking car, or whatever, useless leech living with my parents contributing nothing, unemployed for a year, blah blah blah. stupid fucking neet should have never been born etc etc etc

she took an uber home and had glowing reviews about the experience and that’s great for her but the guilt made me throw up because i couldnt even do this minuscule thing. so like, if i DO hand her a note and say “here’s all the shit im going to do, BUH BYE” and some shit happens, or i dont get what i need done, or i dont have a fully developed plan of what i’m doing, then it’s gonna be more ammunition toward what a useless piece of shit i am. like, i dont have good food to eat at the house, but i also have NO APPETITE so nothing sounds good, so i cant even think of what foods i would get if i could. it’s such a jarring opportunity that i would just like...not get anything at all and go home. even when i -did- have the opportunity i just went “Uhh umm uhhh fuck uhhh milk” and got that (AND THEN MY MOM CAME HOME W 2 GALLONS OF MILK FROM COSTCO, SO OF COURSE I -DID SOMETHING WRONG-!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IF I JUST LEFT IT UP TO HER INSTEAD OF DARING TO DO SOMETHING MYSELF I WOULDNT HAVE LOOKED LIKE A FUCKING IDIOT AND ENDED UP WITH 3 GALLONS OF MILK AT THE HOUSE) of course i drank the milk i bought, it’s not like it went to waste, but i was CAUGHT because there were now THREE instead of the one gallon covertly getting replaced. instead of me doing something helpful i did something that became an inconvenience.

it’s just little shit but it all adds up. it’s been all of these little fucking things forever and ever and ever, just like my mom’s hoarded garbage. “i bought just a couple of things”, innumerable times throughout the duration of my entire life, forever and ever, “just a few small things” over and over until it’s suffocating.  it’s just all this little shit all the fucking time and it’s suffocating.

naturally, the therapist sent me an article on “daughters of narcissistic mothers”. this will be a delight to read, i’m sure.

[strawberryspeachy]

I wonder if im about to get fired again

Last year i got fired because a teacher who acted like he wanted to be my friend hated when I reciprocated that want.

Ive worked with about 55 other teachers since him and none of them

Ask about my weekend every week. Ask about my friends. Ask about my personal life. Stare at me in the office. Lean over me and touch me. Come look through my folder that im holding to just point out the paper im looking for (they just offer me a new one if they think i dont have it)

But. I was totally stalking him. And got fired.

Now im working at 2 schools

One with 4/5 horrible teachers

The other with 4/5 wonderful teachers

At the horrible teacher school one has been (and i dont say this about people often. Actually ever. I assume ppl hate me... but this woman has bee - well)

K so i made a newsletter for the schools. The good school put it out for the students and that was that. The bad school told me i could distribute it. So i asked this teacher where

She took me into the hallway and showed me a board. She told me to put the papers on those walls. And then she gave me pins. So i did.

Then she told my company i put papers up without permission

Ive worn the same clothes to all 7 schools ive worked at plus two camps. Never got a complaint. Until now. She complained about my skirt and socks

She said in a fly away statement when i started that because were teachers we cant travel because of corona and must stay home - it irriated me because i clearly understood that she was telling me that i need to stay home when im not working. Fuck that! But i just agreed with her. Her first question after my summer break was “you had a long vacation, did you go anywhere”

She asked in a happy voice - pretending that was wanted to hear about something exciting. But. Bitch i have a good memory. I told her i mostly stayed home and only went to a nearby town.

K so like. Thing is. She knows im probably lying (cause im young and not from this country. No one would stay home for a month) so the way she responded was kinda pissed off that she cant prove me wrong or report me or anything - then in the middle of class she asked about my housemates

1) i have no control over them

2) your first question was already invasive and this is stupid

3) youve asked me a question that i cant answer correctly. If i say i dont know youll say i might have corona because my housemates probably brought it home. If i say they went out - same thing. If i say they stayed home - another obvious lie. I told her that they are all students and had class so I think they were home. Again. She was annoyed by this answer

She constantly makes side remarks about “foregners”

She wont translate the questions that students ask her to ask me - and when i understand them and answer she acts flustered and annoyed

Shes bad at english and writes shit incorrectly - gives it to me to cold read - then gets mad when i trip over shit thats written incorrectly

She changed the song early last month because I liked it

She talks to me like im a clown hindering the class - walking over and telling me (a person standing quietly waiting for instruction) that now the students must study - the way a parent would tell a 7 year old not to bother the sleeping dog.

I TRIED to have a normal conversation with her because she seemed to be trying and i felt bad. She said it was hot and cold off and on and told me what temperature it would he the next day in celcius. I just said oh. And felt the tention. So i tried to ease it by chuckling and telling her “sorry. You know how america uses Fahrenheit? I dont really understand celcius.” She immediately —- wait hold on

This school makes us write down our temperature in the morning as though that does ANYTHING to stop corona - they dont even check - she harrassed me upon walking in the door to WRITE DOWN MY TEMPERATURE

—- k so no. No easy conversation. She immediately got serious and went how do you understand celcius for your body temperate then??? I told her i convert it.

A couple periods late she inturrupted another teacher talking to me about class and stopped me from going to class to ask me ‘if you dont know celcius how do you write your temperature down in the morning?!?’’ I told her i have a japanese thermometer and just write down what it says. Then she tried to play if off and chuckled like - oh ha i was just wondering. Whats the difference (her face was like enraged before that btw) she asked what the average temperature in Fahrenheit is and i quickly spit out 98.6 while grabbing my book to leave for the class i was now running late for

Shes full on feuding with a boy who “CANT SPEAK JAPANESE” and is “NOT JAPANESE” she tried not to bitch but also bitch about him to me - through this i learned that his mom is Australian. He was born in Japan. Also if her english didnt suck so much she would know that hes not fluent in english

She like the other teachers ask me questions that they dont want answers to. And sometimes is not even just - i wanna write this sentence wrong - does it make sense

No. It doesnt (correct answer- anything you write is correct. Dont worry. Dont ask me. Your perfect)

A couple weeks ago she told me that the song the other teacher chose is a japanese song that was translated into english. She asked it its gramattically correct. I told her that songs dont need to be grammatically correct so its fine. Then she asked me if it makes sense. I told her that its a bit vague but its fine.

She didnt know what vague meant. She asked me to write it down so she could look it up later. Not sure how she took that as an insult but Im sure she did.

And the song is vague. Id figured out that it was a song that was either written for a weird tv show or translated from something else before she even told me

Shes always late for class. She doesnt even leave for class until the bell rings. If she walks in and i was talking with the students - she looks highly uncomfortable - so ive stopped talking to them before she arrives

She wont let them ask me questions. Only her (these past two points go for the other crappy teachers too)

She cant make up her mind whether she wants me to say hello first or her. She cant make up her mind on what she wants me to read or whether she wants me to stop at commas or read full paragraphs or what - and she gets annoyed when i cant read her mind avout it —the others do this too

She reads sentences she wrote (incorrectly) out loud even more wrong - but apparently (going from her face) even though she doesnt know the word for fucking SENTENCES - and calls them “englishes” she heard me add the s to a word that should have been plural but she wrote as singular. She never says the fucking plurals or adds them where they shouldnt - but of course she heard my quick slip of adding an s onto a fucking word

- which really just shows thats she pays way more attention trying to find me doing something wrong than literally ANYTHING ELSE she does

Theres more. Im tired. And so very stressed. Tomorrow i have a meeting after school which i told my company rhat if they want my time they should pay me for it and told them theyre welcome to come to my schools (the one i like and normally can he stress free and get home early from) station

They made up bs as to why they can pay others but not me but did say theyre gonna come to the station

Last tome with the fucking “hanging stuff up without permission” i was of couse told i was in the wrong (BECAUSE JAPANESE CAN DO NO WRONG) and forced to say that i need to communicate better 3 times

Howd i start this? Watch me get fired? Yea i was fired on like the 23rd last year. Watch me get fucking fired again - for again. One racist ass peice of shit teacher

“Well you just gotta suck it up and accept where you are on the food chain” k look. Do you know how much easier and less stressed id be if i was able to do that?! I just. CANT ok. I refuse to think that i am less of a person than any other person. People can treat me that wat and do all they want. But i refuse to think that i am lesser. I am a person. And if i have to respect them they should respect me. Its a reciprocal fucking thing i cant fucking kiss ass

I lived in a house with a woman who wanted me to kiss her ass - and i basically chose not to be treated like a dormat and pike she was my lord. And thus got mentally and emptionally abused for 24 years.

I cant fucking kiss ass. I can be polite. But i cant kiss fucking ass dude. I just cant

[akitaayumi]

Oyasumi nasai Katie! :3 I hope your day has been great today and your classes were fun! x3 Hopefully the meals that you had today were good and you ate lots! I also hope that today wasnt too busy for you honey! xD Please sleep well and sweet dreams Katie! You deserve all the rest you can get! :3 But if you need to stay up tonight to do your homework, please dont stay up for too long! You need your beauty sleep after all! x3 I know that college can be quite tiring with all the assignments and report you have to do but knowing you, I know you can do it honey! I believe in you! xD Oh! Your college just emailed me my student ID number and all! So soon I can be with you and we can study together! :3 Please teach me senpai hehe :p Btw! If you played volleyball today, I hope you had fun! How I wish I could watch you play though xD And if you had work earlier, I hope it wasnt too busy honey x3 Im proud of you Katie, for everything that you have done today! x3 As for me, I went jogging earlier of course! I like to go early in the morning since the air is fresh and there's hardly anyone at the park xD I jogged for a good hour while jamming to your playlist! :p I cant wait to go to the gym or just go jogging with you Katie! Anything is inifinite times more fun when we do it together after all! x3 Just your presence alone, only God knows just how happy I am whenever you're with me! And I can never get enough of you! :3 I miss you so much sweetheart, every second of my day! xD I pray that you're always safe and in good health! I also pray that God will open your heart and that you will be with me again soon! I have faith in you Katie, always! x3 Until the end of time, I will always love you Katie, more and more as each day passes! I am forever yours after all! x3 You and only you! ♡ Please be back soon!! https://www.instagram.com/p/B5HYGh1pPlo/?igshid=1df2xuhuzrjbw

[perfectionistincrisis]

Day 78

Almost 8 years back, when I used to have a HUUUGEE crush on him, we didnt used to talk yet & then we did a litttle - well but like I always used to talk to myself - hold on - no, you must be thinking im crazy - no no - i used to pretend like he was in front of me and i just used to pour my heart out! It used to feel really good. And thennnnn, after we started going out, there were nuuuuumerooouuuus times i got grounded! I used to do the saaaame all those times. Just talk to myself, whatever i want to, whatever comes in my head & & dont get the wrong idea - i didnt use to speak my heart out and it didnt used to feel so good cause i was talking to “myself” BUT i used to do it because i used to imagine HIM in front of me. And yes, i would really pour my heart out to him & yes, it would really feel so good. 

Okay so why I am mentioning it today is because now i caught myself doing the same again! i talk to myself like im talking to him & he’s right here. And i just keep going on and on and on. Lol yeah yeah im a weirdo so here comes the fun and weird - or weirderrrr - part. I sometimes repeat the whole crap i just spoke out all over again. like the whole bunch of crap i just blabbered. I mean idk. Maybe partly cause ik that im just pretending like he is here but he is not, i kind of try to remember what im saying cause im not actually talking to him. and then after im done talking maybe i feel lonely and aware of the fact he is not here and then i try to feel like he is though all over again and then i try hard to remember everything i just said and say it all over again. Lol. idk maybe this is simply the definition of pure madness!

But. It means something to me. It keeps me going! 

Oh about yesterday. I missed out a tiny part of me being happy shopping! I had dad’s credit card to myself lol. So i just had to go to a shop get my stuff and go to the cashier, enter pin and beep beep dad gets a text message of the money he just spent!!!! Haha! Dad was around though, outside the shops

So last night i just couldnt sleep. like i slept an hour and then i woke up and couldnt get back to sleep until like 6am wth. FALLING asleep can be such a struggle. NOT FALLING asleep can be a truggle too which i am really aware of. but like FALLING asleep? Wth? it shouldve been a piece of cake man. LIFE Ugh! 

So i was kinda tired the whole day

I ate real food today. Most days i only live on apples and almonds and tea. Today I had a grilled fish and lettuce salad and then has a falafel sandwich. I dont feel THAT bad or bad at all i guess cause it was a healthy choice but then still, it was ‘food’ so yeah! Tomorrow i need to go back to apple & almonds. 

I think about him all the time. With time, it keeps getting harder & harder, staying away from him. Also, I just cant get myself to picture a happy face of him. Like an actual happy face, one where ik he is actually happy... And that just kills me..

I guess its not supposed to be easy duh. but like. idk what im trying to say. idk. Its just that. Ugh.. Ya Allah make this easy for both of us & please give us sabr. 

Oh i just remembered. So i dont feel like doing stuff. Idk. simple stuff. Any stuff. Like open something new i bought WHICHHH btw is really “something” to me! I mean, i mean this will pass and obviously he is not there next to me & even before he didnt used to be there but then id still idk send him a pic or idk tell him about it and idk it would just make me happy but now i just have to do something and i wont be able to share it with him and ikkkkkk inshaAllah one day He will give us the chance to have moment like that but but but. I still have this thing. Like i go like - yeah, but this ones just gna goo.. - hmph. Idk if that makes me greedy.. I guess I kinda am.. 

And yeah its not something as stupid as opening stuff or showing him stuff i bought but like each and everything in my life... hehh

I never wanted to admit it even to “MYSELF” but i died a million times the day he went to bd. I dont ‘really’ understand why. I mean, yeah kinddddaaa feeling bad is ok but i felt ‘really’ bad - that i had been lying to myself tryingt o make myself believe that it was just a coincident i felt really depressed right the day he went to bd and the next maybe >.> no but the next days one wasnt bd, it was life. but ugh im not THAT depressed now, i mean i think i suffer from depression - maybe really mild not to severe or maybe more than mild idk. But to say ive got no problem at all and im completely fine? WHO AM I KIDDING??? lmao 

The thing is - these days - are better than the really bad days. Thats all im gna say! But. Alhamdulillah <3 I really cant say I can be ungrateful any single day of my life but.. Its really not that simple.. I am grateful, I always am, Even when i am tired - so. damn. tired. - of life but - i just cant explain it! 

Ok so the thing is, yeah i felt bad when he went to bd, cause yeah it felt like he went far. and that means it still feels like before when we used to talk and id feel bad cause he went far. So i guess it doesnt matter whether we talk or not, when hes far, hes far, and i feel it.. Also today i came to know he will come back after Eid! Thats pretty long! But i really hope he enjoys inshaAllah! 

I kinda realized i write a lot about him - but tbh - thats basically me! He is a.l.w.a.y.s.s.s.s. there. And Always Will Be.. InshaAllah

And now i will work out UGH - I want to hire someone whod point a gun at me every single day to get me on the treadmill that would be REALLY HELPFUL CAUSE I JUST CANT MAKE ME! )(*&^@#$^%^&#*@(&*&^#*&^#*$()*(@))*)($*)($

Ok bye :) xox

[thecrimsonkat-blog]

I'm a FUCKING WREAK at the moment...

Ok, so here's the story: My mothers boyfriend (Shannon) has a medium large family, he has no kids himself so his nieces and nephews he treats like his own kids. One in particular is named Angus (the one the story mainly revolves around). And I cant actually write how I feel about him.... wait..... yes I can..... ok, so; my heart pounds harder with each passing minute he's in the room. I feel my mind become clouded and I become clumsy at the mention of his name. I feel like I would protect him from harm if any came to him, he has a slight amger issue but when he gets mad, all i want to do is hug him tightly and remind him to relax, to sum it up, I'M INVESTED. Bonus to add to my grief, he also in hetero amd has a girlfriend. So here comes the issue, my family was having a house warming party and all, and I mean ALL the family was invited, so stuff happened and now its time for people to go, turns out one of my little cousins was staying the night and I was really not in the mood to deal with him. So his family was saying goodbye when I offered to lend him some clothes if he wanted to stay the night, he was offered to stay a night many times before but he turned it down because he was busy or something else got in the way. Do remember, I am FUCKING INVESTED in this guy. I put all the pursuaion I could feel into the question and hoped for the best outcome. And he said yes. BOY WAS I FUCKING HIGH, I FEEL LIKE I COULD'VE DONE A BACKFLIP, SOAR TO THE MOON OR EVEN KISS HIM ON THE SPOT. But I didnt. So me, angus and my brat of a cousin were in the games room playing my consoles, when I decided it was late enough and everyone should go to bed. My cousin took FUCKING 3 HOURS BEFORE HE WENT TO BED. Me and Angus stayed up till 1am trying to get him to sleep, and when we did we went back in the games room amd got ready for bed. I'm not sure about anyone else, but when its really late, I get really personal. So I'm chillin on the two seater with my body pilllow and blanket, unable to get to sleep and he's chillin on the bed diagonal from me, trying to sleep. Neither of us could btw. Here is where it gets good, so we both are tired as fuck, its 1am and he begins asking me questions about my homosexuality. How I realised I was gay, amd stuff like that. Then out of the blue, he asks who my crush is. By this time I was sure he could hear my heart, It was beating so hard against my chest I was sure It would shatter. I wanted to tell him so badly but also didnt, because I have a giant heart and didnt want to ruin our friendship. Amd because I hesitated for so long, he decided to ask me question about who I was crushing on. So, i thought why not, if he figures it out on his own then so be it. He begins asking questions like height, hair colour, age, and eye colour. He then says he has it figured ot out to between 3 people. He says their names and i deny them all. I could feel his confusion or what I thought was confusion. He then asks me more question, like what I would do for that person. For those who dont like MA 15+ stuff, then stop reading. So to sample the questions, mainly because I cant remember all of then because I was sleep deprived, he asked: "If the peraon were to come up to you, and ask if you would have sex with him, would you?" "What would you do if they asked you to do it to them?" "If they asked you to suck their dick, would you?" "What would you do if that person liked you back?" "What would you do if that person didn't have a girlfriend?" So the questions continued for a literal hour, until he says this, "I think I know who it is" Just and add on, earlier that day, him and his uncle, Shannon, were having a conversation about his sexuality and he said exactly this... "If I was gay, I would be hooked up with this fella, *points directly at me and wraps an arm around my neck*" my heart was like FUCKING ON CRACK it was spasing out. So he proceeds to ask me to play hangman, and because its 2:30am by that time, and I was way to lazy to find a pen and paper, we just used my phone, bur it was slightly modified: QWERTYUIOPASDFGHJKLZXCVBNM -------------------------------- This is what the screen looked like, he would type the letters that were in the name below the line and erase the letters that were not. So he goes through the list of letters and not very far in he makes and unusual sound, and thats when I realised he actually knew. He even writes his own name down amd asks me to type 'yes or no' beside it, the screen looked like this when I got my phone back: QWERTYUIOPASDFGHJKLZXCVBNM -------------------------------- A N G U S So, seeing a perfect moment, I be really sarcastic and say "Im not sure your spelling it right, I think you may be missing a few letters" as I proceed to write yes next to it. MEANWHILE MY HEART IS DOING LITERAL BURNOUTS IN MY CHEAT WHILE ON FIRE AT MARTIGRA. I was so fucking high from it, i even began slurring my words from my clouded mind. I hand back the phone and he was so sincerly confused, then he saw what i wrote then it hit him, and i said as it did. He hamds me back my phone and he goes silent for a few seconds, the proceeds to question further about what i would do to him, or as he put it 'the person' if the asked for something. And the one that hurts the most was "would you have sex with them if they asked, even though they had a girlfriend, and if the asked you to keep it a secret, would you?" My mind was fucking running like crazy, I was likeing the way the direction of conversation was going, i was keen to get in his pants. I answered then he goes silent. What felt like twenty minutes later did he speak again. And he changed to conversation about what he did last time a gay guy hit on him, the guy apparently touched him on the arse Angus didn't like it so he turned round and grabbed the guy by the throat and pinned him agains the wall and threatened to really hurt him if he did it again. WHAT THE FUCK DUDE, YOU LITERALLY BEGAN LEADING ME TO YOUR BED THEN TOSSED ME INTO THE GUTTER INSTEAD. I FELT MY HEART CRACK, AND IT FUCKING HURT, I WAS A LITTLE MAD AND DECIDED TO GET HIM BACK LATER FOR DOING THAT TO ME. BUT HE LITERALLY CRUSHED MY HOPES OF US ACTUALLY GETTING TOGETHER, I HAD TO BITE MY LIPS TO STOP MYSELF FROM CRYING. I was so torn up. He toyed with my feelings and I let him, now i feel like he dumped me, without really having dated me. It fucking hurts, and think back to that night, it fuckin hurts. And now, i know it will probably emotionally scar me for the rest of my life. But what makes it worse, about a week earlier I had lost one of my friends that I became invested in, Dom, because he split with his girlfriend, which I think I had already explained earlier, if not here's a recap. She dumped him, she was my friend and knew i like him, he was my friend that i had a crush on, but I would never tell because it would shatter my friendship I had with him. She dumped him and told him I had a crush on him, he reacted badly amd stop talking to me bevause he felt uncomfortable talking to me, even through gaming sites and suck alike. So I was feeling a little abandoned. Now it was like being abandoned again, i flet myself slip away from Angus. So when he slept, i got revenge. Not gonna go into detail about that tho. So thats my life atm, im already wreaked in the head, so this can probably just go on the pile and break me some more...

[cloud69b]

GOT7 Turbulence in LA exp

After class on friday, I eagerly waited and got ready to go to the airport. I was so jittery that my friend who was doing laundry had sat with me in my room as I continued to mess with everything and anything.  I had just got back to college and I was leaving immediately, haha. My brother had also come back from Taiwan earlier so my english was all messed up. I had my vacation mode still on and ready to see Got7. 

As I got into my uber, I realized I had forgotten this pair of fake glasses I like to wear because it makes my face look smaller. Also, they are nifty because they look cute. But, I was in the uber pool, so the girl beside me was going to the nail salon. It was a honda civic, and the guy was really nice driver. 

A little apprehensive about getting my plane ticket as I got into the San Jose airport, the lady helped me get my boarding pass. I was flying with Alaska airlines, but the plane was run by another company so I was a little confused but moved along easily. I wore my old jrotc jacket, so people didn’t really look at me weird travelling alone haha. I got through security quickly and the gate I needed was right in front of the security check, so I got to the gate at 3:30pm, a whole 3 hours before my flight. haha, I really couldn’t wait. 

During the flight, this asian guy who sat by me seemed to be very tired, very annoyed and looked like he was having an huge migrane. As soon as we departed and the drink cart was seen, he kept whispering “apple juice” lol. But we were sitting in the back so it took a while before he was blessed with his apple juice. I had an orange juice. I tried scribbling my hand in my journal for some drawing but it seemed to give him a worse headache so I closed my journal and sat there. 

As I landed, my phone thought I was still in San Jose. 1000$ for an uber! OH my god, hahaha. The security guard helped me figure out which airport I was at, the John Wayne Santa Ana airport and I got another honda civic uber driver to Irvine. She was really nice as well. 

My friend Destiney let me stay with her! It was super nice and we were going to go to the concert together. I met with all her friends, and they were super cool people. I felt bad that they had to meet me, a complete scrub to people and looked high 24/7 since my face is naturally red and I love to laugh. They don’t sleep! It’s like I was in the art building during finals again, where no one slept for weeks. 

After I landed friday, Saturday was a complete day with Wingchung’s friends. I’m very thankful they let me into their rooms, shared their wisdom and humor with me, and I believe accepted me well. I may never know, because I’m a particular person. 

SUNDAY. 170129 D-Day

We left UC Irvine around 12pm, using uber. To the venue it took maybe an hour and I cried as my wallet became thinner. Since my friend wingchung was a little less informed about got7 than I am, we watched their old mvs and performances to laugh. I showed her JJ Project and Girls x3, which was hilarious on their own. 

The venue was already clustered with fangirls. Tbh, kpop fandoms are quite toxic so we stayed away after I picked up my merch. Actually, we sat in this empty parking lot in the shade and just talked as we waited. After a bit, the fansites arrived at the venue! So we went out to search for them as I bought Markstouch banner, I’ve waited weeks for this banner!! 

While searching for AsecondDay, bambam fansite, I couldn’t open the door to where they were, and this person beside the door thought we were trying to get into this tattoo convention that was happening right beside the venue. LOL. Kind as they were, they gave us a free wristband to go see the tattoo expo! Super cool, thank you so much hahaha. Gave us something to do before the concert/fm. 

After that we just got ice cream and chilled away from the venue talking about this and that. It had been a while since I saw my best friend, and now that we go to college across the state we don’t get to see each other often. Even before college, I moved from my hometown so it was really nice to talk to her again face to face. 

While waiting across the venue, a silhouette appeared in the window. I suspect it was bambam, but the screams were so loud that you could hear it from blocks away haha. We stayed away still, until it was about 5:40pm and went to line up. 

In line, this girl who also goes to UCI talked to us. I made a couple jokes and laughed, glad to know I’m funny. The lines to the right had less people so we moved over and didn’t say bye to her. Bye bye, now I said it. 

Our seats were in the balcony, Left Center row A so no one was in front of us and we had a great view of the stage. Nothing obstructing and also next to the aisle, so we had minimal people sitting near us! Great!

Wingchung thought the volume was just going to be as loud as Hard Carry started to play in the beginning, signalling the start of the concert. But it dropped even louder and she was so shook I laughed. Jokes on me though, because the moment Got7 walked out I started screaming my head off and got my phone out to record everything I could. 

I got like 10 texts the next day saying the same thing “Wow avery I didn’t know you could scream like that” hahahah

MARK. I could not believe my eyes!! He’s real! And being back in LA, he seemed so happy, looking to where his family was pretty much the whole concert. His nieces were in the concert as well, it was so nice and I’m glad he was happy to be back. During the games, he stood off to the side by himself thinking about the songs and rose his hand once he found his answer. He shouted “Mark!” so cutely I couldn’t even handle myself. His question was what was his favorite disney movie: Toy Story. and his first was Dumbo, put his hands beside his ears and waved them. CUTE!! his second question was to do his favorite dance, which he called Yugyeom to do sexy dancing. AHHH R18+! During his ending ment, he choked up a little saying it was great to have support over seas so he can see his family during these sorts of things.  Also, his partner during the game was wearing a Jackson hoodie. SO when they won, Bambam came over and exposed her LOL and Mark walked across the stage and took his jacket off in mock frustration. It was really sexy and cute, as Jackson escorted her off stage with a hug.  Near the end of the concert, he also took off his jacket showing his ENTIRE body line and I was blessed. He’s so fit and his legs look great i still cant believe I saw him. 

Jaebum looked really tired for the concert, and it was completely understandable. They’ve been performing non stop across the country in a span of only 1 week! He sat cutely, SAID HIS NAME CUTELY DURING THE GUESS THE SONG GAME. Immediately Youngjae started to tease him. I can’t even. And in the end, he took off his coat and put on his hood while singing. I love Jaebum and his fluffiness. I swear he’s the fluffiest member. 

Jackson, oh jackson! After his rest, he seemed rejuvenated and ready for this last fanmeet in the US. He was jumping around at the beginning, teasing Yugyeom during his question and did the incredible Jackson experience. Wingchung likes Jackson the most, so it was really funny. During the song game, Him, Mark, and Jinyoung crouched beside the speakers to try and listen better. But either of the three got one right haha. He was so sweet to his guest, and cracked jokes. His guest was from china, had the same last name but apparently her bias was Jinyoung, which had him mimicking disappointment. Jinyoung went to shake her hand but Jackson slapped it away to hug her! So funny and cute haha. Though they didnt do well, Jackson counted well haha. His ending ment was inspiring and it was every word I needed for this semester. 

Jinyoung. I can’t believe. I can’t choose between Bambam or Youngjae or Jackson or Yugyeom or JB as my second bias, but Jinyoung you are so fucking close to being it. BTW got7 wore one of my favorite outfit sets from their recent activities, so Jinyoung’s outfit looks extremely similar to DGM’s 3rd gen uniform, and I love it. His hair still had that slight perm, so cuuuuute. He and Mark sat in beside each other, stood beside each other and won Rock paper scissors together(with jackson). Markjin! Iw as shook, in tears.  He also was fiddling with his mic in the back of his pants, and it looked like he was scratching his butt haha.  He was super cute, his english is to swoon over. His voice live is WOW. During the song game, he begged the MC to play the song one more time. “Please, one more time” he said and I swear my stomach flipped haha. When he finally got to answer after saying “Jinyoung Jinyoung” he didn’t know the song and guessed “Fly?” His question he picked up was to expllain his first impressions of each memeber.  Jackson: Hong Kong actor. Mark: a little dark lol Jaebum: (in english) I met him for 7 years now! Youngjae: (honestly i forgot) Bambam: CUTE and innocent and SMALL yugyeom: innocent but TALL he thought he was a sunbae hahaha

mark was beside him saying “mark mark” it was so cute.  When the mc said no, Jinyoung, again cutely said “Fly?” and got another no. I cant.  He almost won the hacky sack game, he’s so good at it! Mark moved across the stage to film Jinyoung while the encore. 

Youngjae was so happy. The entire concert he was full of sunshine and smiles and laughs, he’s so precious save me. He guessed the most in the song game and won! Amazing!! His hacky sack game was second to go up, so he got 4 and was in the lead. Saying “I am the best!” but in the end he lost and I felt for him so much, he was looking forward!!! His voice is so amazing live. The stereos were a little weird and everyone’s voice was an octive higher? My ears might’ve been fooling me because in all my videos it was fine. Youngjae, let me tell you his voice is so much better live. Definitely blessed my ears with his amazing loud vocals.  In the end, he called out the 2 artists he looked up to, even sang their song for the jyp audition AND SANG A PART OF IT RIGHT THEN AND THERE. The two artists stood up A ROW AWAY FROM US and waved!! They were so nice! Im so glad Youngjae got to meet some of his favorite artists while in LA. That’s amazing. 

Bambam is 100% cannot believe he’s real, cannot believe i saw him dab dab and ju ju and dance the whip with helium it was unbelievable. His hair was so bright, probably the brightest thing on stage. While the song game, he would yell his name, bending backwards lika “BAM!!!!” and wouldnt know the answer. He got one right though! He’s so sos ososososo precious. He called his guest Queen, because he was sad that he wasnt good at the hacky sack game.  His ending ment hinted at their new album, and that we will be surprised! He dabbed, I saw it irl. Bambam is fantastic!

AND Yugyeom. He was quiet for the majority of the concert, but honestly so big! I didn’t think he’d be so different, because in broadcasts I didn’t really catch but irl he really has a different build than his hyungs. But he was so cute! During his helium, he didn’t know what to do and panicked. His endingment was really nice and thanked us for supporting even overseas. During hacky sack, he kicked his hacky too high and it hit his guest on the chest! She had really good stage feeling, because she fell over like she died and Yugyeom was so scared and sad that he ran over saying sorry so many times. Gave her a big hug, while they both laughed at what had happened. So cute! Honestly, I dont remember much else of what Yugyeom did ;;; im sorry. 

And all memebers had to do squats while flapping like a bird (ahgase!) when they got the song guess wrong. IT WAS CUTE. 

After the concert I was in so much denial that we had just saw Got7 that i couldnt even believe where I was. Before we left the venue, we picked up some pieces of confetti. Wingchung was spent, we both couldnt talk and she was even more surprised at the amount of screaming I did. We called an uber again, and steadily made it back to UCI. 

over night, i couldnt even. I kept telling wingchung that I didn’t believe i saw them irl and my throat hurt a lot I kept coughing myself awake. In the morning, we ate and I went to Wingchung’s big biology lecture class! The professor definitely knew i was not supposed to be there, as I sat there doodling markjin in my journal hahaha. 

After that, I left. We hugged and said goodbye, I miss her already but gotta do school. I was missing class on monday since my flight was delayed but my uber to the airport was another honda civic. hahah, this uber driver was also very nice! In the airport, I let myself have some McDonalds, a close comfort food for me having many memories of highschool to me. While waiting another girl talked to me about the fanmeeting. She had went! Spotted me because I now was wearing the USA turbulence hoodie. And we were on the same flight, so we talked all about got7 before boarding. I was moved to the front of the plane though (the first time my name was called in the airport speaker!) and she was in the back, so our meeting was cut short. 

The guy beside me was watching a creepy movie, so I didnt know where to look haha. I love planes, even as a little kid, and now I love them even more because of got7 hahahaha. 

I got back onto campus, but before that My uber. I didn’t know where i’d be picked up and got mixed up. So the guy made it to the place but i was struggling to cross the street (the light was red) and get there. The guy was about to cancel on me after 1 minute of waiting! Oh my god! And the other lady in the pool was really mean. It was another honda civic though LOL.

he wasnt very nice as a uber driver, so my final uber was really awkward. 

But overall, Im completely blessed to have been able to see Got7 and go to socal just for the concert and see my friend wingchung, meet her friends. See got7 see Mark in real life. it was surreal. 

But thank you so much GOT7 for the Turbulence in USA fanmeet tour. It must’ve been crazy tiring, but I’m thankful you gave it your all for LA. Thank you!

Now that Im back in school, not flying around any more and got my english back, I will focus hard and not do so much on the internet. 

bye!

cloud/avery