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thewidowsledger · 2 months

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Secrets Behind Our Dreams

Chapter 12: A Room of Your Own | 5.2k

Summary: You are a club dancer; a stripper. Natasha is a respected notorious mob boss. What would happen if your paths happened to cross one night? The only thing you knew about each other was your dreams, and neither of you knew what the other was.

Pairing: Mob Boss Natasha Romanoff x Stripper Female Reader

Warnings: 18+, bad writing, slow burn, horny thoughts, gun pointing (?), bully Yelena (?), is fluff a warning? If yes, then what the fluff?

Author's Note: Scene reference from the movie Black Widow👀 I had to watch it so I can be able to write the scene. And, and, and the mascot was from my own experience, lol. Not proofread so if you see some stupid mistakes, no you didn't.

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⧗

“Fuck.” You mutter to yourself as soon as you're sure that she's out of the room. It feels like you’ve been holding your breath since you felt Natasha close to you and now you're gasping for air. You immediately slapped your cheek over and over, trying to remove the thoughts out of your mind.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, this is wrong.” You feel your head being light, remembering her words.

“You can take it.”

“Just like that.”

“Good girl.”

You took a pillow and slammed it on your face with both of your hands and screamed at it, it stayed at your face for a couple of seconds before you slowly removed it.

You squeezed your thighs shut to relieve the aching feeling between your legs, “Oh God, forgive me for I have sinned.”

“Y/N?” A call coming out your door freaked you out, you immediately shuffled and got out of your bed, you ran towards the door as you put your clothes over your freshly cleaned up wound.

You peeked revealing Maria outside, “Oh hey.”

“Here's your food, there are actually stocks of food in your room but Natasha told the chef to have some soup made for you.” She said carrying a tray of soup and water. “You okay?” She asked as she saw your blushing form just staring at the tray.

“Oh yeah, shit t-thanks. I mean…” you winced as you opened the door for her to come in and immediately but carefully took the tray from her. You put it on the side of your bed and walked back towards her.

There was an awkward silence between the two of you, “So? How are you?” She asked crossing her arms, offering you a comforting smile

“I…” you shrugged.

"I know things are hard for you...complicated," Maria empathized. "But please don't sleep naked on the tile floor again, Y/N." She chuckled, as did you.

She noticed your nervous fidgeting and slowly began walking towards the door, with you following closely behind, crossing your arms and rubbing your arm.

"She was really worried about you," Maria declared as she looked at you.

You nodded slowly, recognizing the depth of Natasha's concern. Your heart wanted to jump out of its place. But you actually hadn't meant to cause her any worry, and now a plan began to take shape in your mind. You thought about making it up to Natasha for all she had done for you. Just as Maria started to leave your room, you hastily called out to her.

"I uh, Maria," you began, "Is it possible for me to go into the kitchen later? I'd like to do some cooking, or something." You cursed yourself for being so awkward.

“Oh…” she smiled, “Sure, I’ll tell the chef. Finish your food first and you can have the kitchen all by yourself.”

⧗

You quickly finished the remainder of your soup and carried the tray with you as you made your way out of your room.

With the tray in your grasp, you navigated through the halls, making your way towards the kitchen. As you walked, the sound of your footsteps echoed slightly in the deserted corridor, as if the emptiness itself was listening to your every step.

Finally, you arrived at the kitchen that Maria had pointed out to you a day ago. The kitchen was one large expansive room, without any doors or dividers. The space was seamless and open, allowing the air to flow freely between the workstations and appliances.

You cautiously stepped inside, placing the tray in the sink. You took a moment to survey the kitchen, your hands slightly fidgeting from nerves. You had initially planned to bake, but now that you are faced with the vastness of the kitchen, you actually don't know what to do now as you feel a little overwhelmed.

The kitchen was immaculate, the stainless steel counters gleaming under the warm glow of the overhead lights. Rows of pristine cookware, pots, and pans hung from hooks on the backsplash, and the various appliances were meticulously arranged on the counters.

“Wow…I only had a microwave in my apartment.” You muttered to yourself.

You took a moment to examine the cabinets, quietly searching for the ingredients you needed for what you planned to bake. Opening each one, you looked closely, taking mental note of what you had and what you still needed to find. Then, your eyes landed on the pantry, located to the left of the large fridge.

You entered the pantry, which was another expansive room brimming with ingredients.

“Wow…” your jaw literally dropped as you took a good look around the pantry, you couldn't help but marvel at the variety of items before you. It seemed like a mini grocery store!

One by one, you managed to retrieve everything you needed. The ingredients in your arms grew, until eventually you had everything you needed, including flour, sugar, chocolate chips, eggs, and butter. With your arms full, you carefully walked out of the pantry.

You began your cooking project by setting all the ingredients out on a clean countertop. The measuring cups, spoons, bowls, and baking sheets were placed strategically so you could easily access them. As you arranged everything, a small wave of overwhelm washed over you as you looked at the materials before you. You were anxious that you may accidentally damage or ruin them in some way.

You measured each ingredient, the aroma of the dough began to fill the room, blending the scents of sugar and butter. With each cup and teaspoon, you mixed the ingredients in a large bowl, creating a smooth and creamy base.

You had finally completed the cookie dough and were now preparing to bake it. However, in order to do so, you needed to find the parchment paper, which was nowhere to be seen.

“Where did I put it?”

You were frantically searching for it, knowing that you had just placed it in one place together with others. You began to worry that you misplaced it. Suddenly, you heard a voice behind you. “Looking for this?”

Startled, you whipped around to find Yelena, sitting casually on the countertop, holding the parchment paper you had been looking for. Your clumsy hands accidentally knocked over some of the ingredients, causing it to crash to the ground.

You immediately and instinctively crouched down to fix the mess you made, Yelena smirked down at the sight. She toyed with the parchment paper as you cleaned in front of her.

Yelena hummed a nonsensical tune, her feet idly swaying and occasionally coming close to your head, almost purposely. However, you tried not to let it get to you and refrained from showing any reaction. Deep inside, you couldn't help but hope that Natasha would appear, as she usually did when her sister was around, to rescue you from this frustrating situation.

“Yelena.”

Yelena turned, a smirk creeping in her face. She tilted her head, “Hey Riri.”

Maria's expression toward Yelena remained emotionless. She maintained a stoic demeanor, silently observing Yelena's actions and behavior. “You know where to find your sister.”

“I always do.” Yelena chuckled as she leaped off the countertop and nonchalantly let the parchment paper fall to the ground as you focused on cleaning up. Without a pause, she promptly walked out of the kitchen.

When Yelena was finally out of sight Maria immediately inquired if you're okay to which you nodded.

Maria, noticing the lingering tension Yelena left in the air, she turned to you with a sympathetic expression and softly apologized for Yelena's behavior.

"I'm sorry about Yelena," she said gently. "She can be quite...a lot."

Sensing your lack of response, Maria quickly shifted the conversation and her eyes landed at the countertop, seeing the dough you just made ready to be baked.

“You know, that looks really delicious,” she said, her tone shifting to a more casual one.

Her words were meant to ease the tension, hoping to alleviate any discomfort you might still be feeling. Her words, though simple, had a profound effect, causing your cheeks to blush. A small, shy smile graced your lips as you gratefully accepted her compliment.

“Thanks,” you said as you stood with the ingredients on your arms. “I just need to bake them, can I ask for a hand? I don't know how your oven works.”

Upon hearing your request for assistance, a warm smile spread across Maria's face. “Sure, whatever you need.”

⧗

"I know you’re out there.” Yelena, still concealing her presence, speaks out, her voice carrying a hint of challenge as she carefully closes the door behind her and pulled the gun behind her jeans.

Natasha, unfazed, responds calmly, she leaned back to her office chair, "I know you know I’m out here."

Yelena cautiously steps forward, her eyes scanning the room carefully. She picks her way through the room, avoiding any objects that might make noise or hinder her movement.

"So, are we going to talk like grown-ups?" Natasha said after a lack of response from her sister.

“Is that what we are?” Yelena shot back, finally revealing her sister who's sitting in her office chair, gun pointed in her direction.

The room is tense, their eyes locked in a deadly staring contest. Natasha stood from her chair and circled the desk, walking forward, her gun pointed directly at Yelena.

“Put it down before I make you.” Yelena said with a stern voice, she walked backwards when she saw Natasha slowly begin to advance. She kept her gun pointed precisely at her sister.

“You put yours down.” Natasha replied, keeping her gun trained on Yelena, her footsteps are measured and steady, her gaze still locked on the blonde.

As Yelena takes a step backward, she slightly stumbles. She falters momentarily but quickly regains her footing.

“Watch your step.”

Yelena responded with a smirk.

With each step, the distance closes between them, their body tense and ready for any sudden moves from each other.

In a quick, coordinated movement, both Natasha and Yelena switch their guns with each other, passing them between their hands while still maintaining their defensive stances.

The switch is swift and seamless, a testament to the skill and familiarity the sisters have with each other's movements. Both continue to watch each other intently, weapons now held in the other's hand. The air crackles with tension, neither of them willing to back down.

Natasha, in a split second, reaches out and touches Yelena’s gun and the unexpected touch is enough to send Yelena straight into attack mode. She quickly launches herself at Natasha, slamming her sister towards the wall.

Natasha winces, the impact on her back momentarily catching her off guard. But Natasha was quick to counterattack; she grabbed Yelena’s jacket, and pushed her harshly, she then yanked her towards the cabinets. In a single swift motion, Natasha slams her sister’s back against the table below, pinning her firmly by the jaw.

“Stay down, stay down!”

Despite being in a disadvantaged position, Yelena makes quick work of the situation. With her sharp and agile movements, she sneaks her hand behind her and grabs a stack of thick papers from the table. Before Natasha can react, Yelena brings the papers down hard against her sister's head.

The unexpected blow sends Natasha staggering back, her grip on Yelena momentarily loosening. Yelena uses this to her advantage and quickly stands from being pinned.

Natasha and Yelena continue eyeing each other, both of them are breathing heavily and are refusing to back down. The tension in the room is palpable. After a long moment, Natasha breaks the standoff and walks back to her desk, she winced as she touched her side slightly.

“How's mama?” Natasha asks in a detached tone as if they didn't just almost kill each other seconds ago.

Yelena can't hold back a smile. The mention of their mother seems to bring a bit of tenderness and excitement into Yelena's voice. She straightens her clothes after the fight, pausing to collect her thoughts before she speaks.

“She uhm,” Yelena started fidgeting, “Mama’s fine, she's okay and uhh…she misses you so much, like she always cooks your favorite when she misses you.”

Yelena's excitement was almost palpable as she shared this tidbit of information. On the other hand, Natasha's stoic expression gave away nothing of her emotions. She reached for a beer, uncapping it. The sound of the cap snapping off echoed in as her sister continued to ramble.

“And papa, he’s—”

“I only asked for mama did I?” Her response was crisp and biting, a clear indication that she had no interest in hearing about their father.

Yelena was visibly taken aback by Natasha's abruptness. She watched in silence as her sister finished the beer in one smooth gulp, setting the empty bottle down with a firm tap on the hardwood desk.

She huffed, her eyes narrowing as she surveyed the room. Her voice was slightly mocking as she made a comment about Natasha's setup.

"Quite domesticated here," she began, a smirk playing at the corner of her lips. "Got yourself a wife cooking downstairs, huh?"

Natasha's cold gaze flicked up to meet Yelena's, her expression hardening at the mention of you. She interrupted her sister sternly, knowing how this conversation would go.

"Enough."

But Yelena didn't relent, continuing to push her sister's buttons.

"All cutesy," she began, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Bringing poison into this house."

Natasha's patience had reached its limit. Her eyes flashed and her jaw tightened. In a swift, fluid movement, she slammed the jagged pieces of the broken glass onto the table, the sound of it making a loud thud against the hard surface. Her voice was low and sharp as she shouted at her sister.

Yelena didn't expect the sudden move, and she flinched momentarily.

"I said, enough." She emphasized each word, her fingers digging into the desk, the fragments of which were now scattered across the desk and the floor.

“Get out, I have a meeting to go to.”

Yelena let out a huff, her neutral demeanor faltering. She started walking backwards, still facing her sister.

"I don't understand you," she said, shaking her head slightly. "All of this for a woman you just met weeks ago."

She began to make her way out of the room. As she reached the threshold, she turned back to look at her sister, her expression firm. In a quieter voice, she added, "Don't drag yourself into this."

And with that, Natasha was left alone in her office, shattered glasses, scattered papers everywhere. The silence was thick and heavy. Her eyes scanned the room, taking in the chaos that surrounded her. She let out a sigh, running her hands through her hair, the stress of the situation starting to manifest physically. As the clock ticked by, counting down the minutes until her meeting, Natasha took a deep breath to steady herself.

⧗

You had just finished plating the cookies, neatly arranging them on a tray. The thought of finding Natasha to give her the baked goods brought a small smile to your face. However, your thoughts were interrupted when you turned and saw Yelena leaning against the counter. Her sudden appearance made you jump slightly, the familiar feeling of uneasiness creeping over you.

Yelena chuckled seeing your reaction. She watched you intently, her expression amused. It was clear she enjoyed startling you and making you feel uncomfortable, as always

“Looking for Natasha?” She asked as if she could read your mind, you nodded not daring to look at her.

“I know where she is,” remembering that her sister just told her that she has some meeting to attend to. A smirk creeped into her face as she thought about you making some surprise visit to that meeting.

“2nd floor, last room at the left hall.”

You smile slightly at her and your eyes flickered as she told you where her sister is, the excitement evident in you.

“Thanks,” you said, slightly stuttering due to your eagerness to leave. “You can have some if you want.”

With the tray of cookies in your hands, you began slowly making your way past Yelena. A wave of disdain flooded over her. She hated how genuine you were, showing kindness even after she had been so tough on you. No matter how hard time she gave you, you still managed to make small genuine acts towards her and she hated it.

She hated you.

Yelena, despite her best efforts to stay aloof, found herself drawn to the freshly baked cookies sitting on the counter. The aroma was irresistible. Her pride told her not to take one, but her stomach says otherwise. In a swift motion, she picked one up and quickly stuffed it into her mouth, the sweet taste only adding to her inner conflict. It was so good that she hated you more.

⧗

As you make your way down the hall towards where Natasha is, your heart thumps in your chest. You can feel the butterflies in your stomach, each step bringing you closer. As you approach the hall, you mentally rehearse what to say.

“This is for you,” you say aloud, testing the words out. Then, you jokingly chide yourself, “What? No greetings? That's so disrespectful of you Y/N.”

“I baked cookies for you,” you tried again with a sigh on how awkward you sound.

Caught up in your internal monologue, you continue to walk and rehearse your lines, blissfully unaware of your surroundings. The door suddenly opens under your touch, and you find yourself standing in the doorway of Natasha's office.

Shit. You stop short, your eyes swept across the room. Not only is Natasha present, but there are also four other men in there, all of whom look like hardened criminals. They were in the middle of a meeting, and your unexpected entrance caught everyone's attention. Silence filled the air as their gaze landed on you, and you felt completely out of place, standing in the doorway with the tray of cookies in your hands.

Instantly, the atmosphere in the room shifted. All the men in the room quickly stood up, their expressions neutral as they drew their weapons and aimed them directly at you as if they were trained to do it. The sound of multiple guns cocking filled your ears, and you instinctively froze, the tray of cookies trembling in your hands and your eyes started to get covered with tears. You thought this is it for you.

Natasha shoots up from her chair. “Fuck,” she muttered enough for everyone to hear, “Don’t you dare fucking shoot her! Out! Now!”

Your shoulders jump at the sharpness of the order, you know she has your protection in mind, though. You're on the verge of crying while apologizing for barging in on the meeting, but the men in attendance also jump to their feet, instantly bowing courteously to Natasha before hastily making their exit giving you a wide berth as they open the other door to her office and file out.

Natasha's eyes were locked onto you, concern etched across her face.

“Fuck…” a cursed escaped her lips. “Baby…” And without realizing it, a term of endearment slipped out this time. Natasha could see the shock on your face and the tremble in your hands holding the tray of cookies. She gently took the tray from you and set it down on the long table in the meeting room.

“Hey,” she called, holding your face.

Your words came out in a shaky breath, your voice quivering slightly. “I'm so sorry Natasha,” you said, the guilt and embarrassment evident. “I didn't mean to…” You tried to hold back the tears, but the sobs began to take over, your body shaking slightly.

You managed to get the words out between the sobs, explaining, “I just wanted to give you these cookies I made for you. And...and your sister...she told me you were here…” Your voice sounded like a small child complaining.

“Eta suka.” (That bitch) she whispered.

“I’m sorry, you weren't supposed to see that.” She said softly, bringing your head on her shoulder. You caught a whiff of her perfume as you nuzzled closer to her neck.

“You baked this for me?” she asked, caught off guard, your shy nod confirmed and a small smile curled on her lips.

“Why don't we get out and enjoy them?” You nodded again, this time with a genuine smile blossoming on your face.

⧗

As you and Natasha walked side by side, she casually looped her arm around your waist, making you feel safe and secure. In her other hand, she held the tray of cookies.

Suddenly, you were startled to see a guard carrying a large gun standing in front of you. Surprised, you looked up at him, but Natasha quickly intervened, asking him to step aside.

She turned to you and explained apologetically, “Sorry, it's security.” You nodded, understanding the need for precautions in her line of work.

“Don't you have an ongoing meeting?”

Natasha simply shrugged and responded nonchalantly, "They can wait."

“I’m really sorry, you should've finished whatever you're discussing if I didn't barge in—”

As you began to apologize once again, Natasha quickly reassured you, cutting off your apology before you could finish. Holding your hand, she gently squeezed it to comfort you.

"Y/N, it's okay." She continued walking with you, leading the way towards the tranquil garden of the manor.

Your eyes widened in awe as you took in the breathtaking view of the lake in front of you. "Wow," you breathed out, captivated by the beauty of your surroundings.

Natasha gestured for you to take a seat beside her in the soft grass. She removed her leather jacket and laid it down on the ground, creating a soft surface for you to sit comfortably.

As she did so, you inadvertently caught a glimpse of her biceps flexing. To your surprise, you could see that her arms were adorned with intricate tattoos, the ink dancing across her skin. But there was also a long, slender scar running through one of the tattoos, partially concealed by the ink.

The sight of it caused your breath to hitch in your throat, your gaze lingering on her skin and her strong arms.

You quickly shifted your gaze, your mind raced as you hoped she hadn't noticed the way your eyes had lingered on her arms.

Looking away, you redirected your attention to the serene lake in front of you, the cool breeze gently ruffling your hair and bringing some relief to your flushed face.

The two of you sat down together, she put the tray of cookies in front of you and you on the other hand was still fascinated at the view of the lake, your mouth slightly opened. Natasha couldn't help but smile at you, she grabbed a cookie from the tray which caught your attention.

“So?” You asked, “How was it?”

“You should try your own cookie.” She said, winking at you and you did, you grabbed one and took a bite.

“It's heavenly,” she commented, you looked at her with your brows furrowed.

“Heavenly?” You laughed, “What are you a poet?” You said between giggles.

For a few moments, there was a comfortable silence between the two of you as you sat together in the garden. It wasn't an awkward silence per se, but rather a calm and peaceful atmosphere that surrounded you both.

Your eyes wandered idly, scanning the surroundings until they landed on a beautiful rose bush nearby. A sense of wonder filled you as you spotted a single red rose in full bloom. Excited, you pointed at it and exclaimed with a childlike enthusiasm.

"Look, a rose! Like the ones on your shoulder!”

As soon as the words left your lips, you immediately realized your faux pas and hastily apologized.

“I'm sorry,” you said remorsefully. “I think they're cool you know, your tattoos.”

Natasha looked at the roses, not providing an immediate response. Feeling even more embarrassed, you repeated your apology with a pout, feeling awkward.

Natasha chuckled at your adorable reaction and reassured you, “It's fine, Y/N.”

After a moment of silence, you found yourself rambling again. Curiosity tinged your voice as you mused aloud,

“So it's true, mob bosses…gangsters or whatever…they all have tattoos on their upper bodies, huh?”

Natasha hummed, “Yeah, I guess they do,”

A teasing smile tugged at your lips as you jokingly inquired, “You think I'd look good with tattoos too? Look, I have scars now too.” Natasha's eyes met yours, and a soft chuckle escaped her lips in response to your question.

Your heart skipped a beat as her laughter filled the air. The mere sound of her amusement sent a wave of warmth rushing through you, causing a flutter in your chest. It was a small victory, earning her laughter, but one that felt significant nonetheless.

“You silly girl,” she remarked as she took another cookie from the tray.

“It's an initiation rites,” she started, you shifted and sat properly beside her ready to listen to whatever she's going to say.

“I never wanted to have it, my mother told my father that it should stop with him.” She pauses, gathering her thoughts, before continuing, “The curse of our blood.”

That line just made your skin crawl.

“I saw how people looked at my father, all the scars in his body? I don't wanna be seen that way.” Her voice trembles slightly.

“I woke up,” she shifted slightly, “in a chair, I was tied up. I was 15 when I had it, my father slowly scarred my skin while I was begging him to stop. I was shouting for my mom but she never came.” She said it nonchalantly as she recounts the harrowing experience.

Your heart wrenched in your chest as you listened to her.

“From then I had to accept my fate.” A hint of bitterness tugged at the corners of Natasha's lips. “But that didn't mean I had to carry it on with me.”

Her eyes darted to the ground, studying the blades of grass that lay beneath her feet. She took a deep breath, gathering her thoughts before continuing.

“I managed our business for 4 years and left to start my own. I haven't seen my parents since, only Yelena.” She looked at you, placing her hands at her back so she could lean on them and she straightened her legs forward. “What about you?”

“Oh, me?” You asked, pointing at yourself using the cookie.

“Yes, silly.” She giggled at you.

“I don't wanna make it about me though, you’re sharing yours—”

“Please tell me, I wanna know.” She cut you off.

You fell silent for a moment, collecting your thoughts and steeling yourself recalling your past. You swallowed the last piece of cookie in your hand before you spoke.

“Well, let's start with the fact that I never got to see my parents,” you began casually. “My mom died giving birth...to me and my dad left my mom before I was even born. So I grew up with my grandparents, but when they passed away, I had to live by myself.”

As you continued, your hands instinctively sought comfort, and you started to hug your legs tightly.

“My aunt took my grandparents' house and decided to sell it,” you huffed, your voice laced with bitterness. “They gave me my part of it because my mom’s gone and yeah, of course, I get to have her share in that.

“I started working at 17 to pay for my school," you said, recounting your early attempts at earning money. "I did everything, I worked at a laundromat, waitress, hostess, janitress, mascot…”

“Mascot?” Natasha's curiosity piqued, as she immediately asked.

A soft laugh escaped your lips as you nodded and explained, “Yeah, there was this pizzeria that was having their opening and for a month I was half human and half pizza.”

“Wow…” Natasha laughed, “That’s funny…I mean no offense and respect to that because that's a difficult job.”

“Yeah, it is ‘coz they stink with all the sweat you know, ugh.” You rolled your eyes and made a gagging noise that earned another laugh from the redhead.

“Do you know how mascots blink?” you asked, your chin lifted in with a grin on your face.

“Ooh interesting, how?”

"When I did it, there's actually this thing in the hands of the mascot that whenever you close the hands," you lifted your left hand and formed a balled fist, demonstrating the mechanism of the mascot, “the mascot also blinks.”

“Ooh, I thought—”

You quickly guessed her thought, laughing slightly, “That it blinks when the person inside blinks?”

“I know it sounds so stupid but yeah.” She admitted with a sheepish grin.

You both couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculousness of the idea, to the point that both of you had to lay back down almost dying in laughter.

When the both of you finally calm down, Natasha's question broke the silence, and her curious tone filled the air as she asked, facing you as both of you were laying down, “So you went to college?”

“I did.”

Natasha then continued her line of questioning, “What happened? Did you finish?”

“I did. I was late for 2 years. Decided to have a leap year so I can save money for college. I took theater arts and when I finished I moved to New York with all my savings, hoping to fulfill my dream, you know...every kid's dream, everybody's dream, Broadway. But things didn't go as planned. But…I still had planned my future and I did plan some options. We need some safety net y’know?”

“Planned some options?” Natasha asked, slightly curious at the thought.

“Yeah.” You nodded, you can actually feel the grass and the dirt mixing with your hairstrand.

“And the plan is?”

“My plan is…one, to get a degree, finish college and I already did that. And I have two options if my degree doesn't work out for me.” You paused, your tongue darting out to wet your lips before continuing.

“One, be a stripper or two, be someone's trophy wife. And that's how I landed on Valkyrie's, option one.” You finally turned to look at her but she was already staring at you, your eyes widened and immediately got up trying to cover up the blush creeping in your face.

Natasha slowly sat beside you, your heart skipped a beat. You felt her presence as she reached for your hand, gently pulling you to your feet.

"I gotta show you something."

You grabbed her leather jacket and left the empty tray of cookies. The two of you walked back towards the manor, passing by a couple of armed guards who stood watch.

Natasha led you towards the large hall, her grip on your hand firm and sure. As she opened the double doors, you were immediately struck by the empty room that greeted you.

The space was spacious, with mirrors lining the walls and a solitary pole placed in the center. The polished wooden floor shone under the dim lighting, creating a subtle and intimate atmosphere.

A shy smile played on Natasha's lips as she spoke, looking directly at you. Her voice was soft, almost sheepish as she confessed.

“I still remember that dream of yours being a ballerina. So I had this room made just for you.”

“Wow,” you breathed. “Natasha, this…” Your voice trailed off for a moment as you gathered your thoughts, your emotions overwhelming you.

“Thank you,” you managed to say, your voice cracking slightly as tears threatened to spill down your cheeks.

You don't need to be scared now.

No one will stop you.

No one will threaten you to know your place.

Because right now, at this moment, you do know your place.

You stepped forward and leaned towards Natasha, you gently planted a soft kiss on her cheek, your lips lingering for just a fraction of a second.

Secrets Behind Our Dreams: Masterlist

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x you #black widow #natasha romanoff au #natasha romanoff fanfic #black widow x reader

188 notes · View notes

sea-you-in-paradise · 2 years

Note

Hi can I please get an Erwin x secret wife reader? Just a lot of fluff and how the scouts finds out that their commander is a married man. Thank you

homie... this is the cutest ask ever oh my god i'm fucking giggling over this and i'm not even an erwin girly

summary: erwin smith x secret wife reader: meeting, married life, and the discovery word count: 1.449 setting: canonverse fem!reader warnings: season 2 & 3 spoilers

when erwin smith met you, not even his resolve to stay away from relationships could stop him from falling in love. and somewhat unfortunately, there was no stopping you from loving him back.

frankly, your relationship was the last thing erwin wanted. being a scout, the commander of the scouts nonetheless, meant that tomorrow was never promised. with the disproportionately slim chance of surviving his career until retirement, he had made a silent promise to stay away from love. of course, meeting you changed that in spite of his better judgement...

-it was shortly after erwin had been named the new commander of the scouts. after is appointment, he often went and got a beer at this small tavern in one of sina's outlier districts so he could try to organize his thoughts

-you were the one to approach him, asking if he was alright because he looked a little dejected. erwin, always hellbent on demonstrating his strength, overcompensated a little bit and exuded a little too much of his illusive confidence

-you laughed at him and told him that he acts like a politician

-it wasn't often that someone saw through him, he found it intriguing. you talked for awhile that nigh, expecting to go your separate ways, but you ran into him there a few more times, and when you did, you would sit together and talk. eventually, you organized some cafe dates on sunday mornings. you didn't actually know who he was until your fifth or sixth meeting, which was funny to you because he never thought to mention it, and funny to him because he thought you knew all along

-you made him realize that there was more to life than discovering the unknown- that there was a lot of value in what he already had. he made you think more about your existence in the walls. you challenged each other

-within a year of meeting, you were married. you decided that if you were determined to be in a relationship, it was best that you went all in since time might end up being short

-married life with erwin doesn't always feel like married life. there's a lot of being alone for both of you while he's away on missions or in other districts for planning and other administrative tasks

-he sends you letters if he's away for more than a week. they are not very emotional letters and they don't ever detail anything specific about people, just events. but he is sure to tell you about the things he thinks you would enjoy the most- like how he saw a sunset that reminded him of one you watched together early in your relationship

-he's the type to be like "i'm not a romantic, but.." and then write something really gushy lol

-when he gets home, he likes to bake those cookies that are shaped like flowers with jam in the middle. he has mastered his family recipe for them. he feels like it's a nice way to show you how much he still cares about you after being away from home for so long

-when you're together, he tries to be very present with you. he enjoys cooking meals together and playing card games

-his love language is acts of service so he really wants to make you feel at ease when he's home because he's sure it stresses you out a lot when he isn't. he ends up doing a lot around the house, even if nothing really needs to be done. like especially on longer stretches of being home, he would start home improvement projects if there was nothing to clean or help with. somehow, he always finishes them even if it's at the expense of a decent night's sleep

-he has a home office, but he does his best to only do work after you've gone to sleep/before you wake up if it's his day off (this man is always working :( even if he doesn't have a deadline)

-you don't usually go out on the town. it's exhausting travelling as much as he does, so he likes to feel like he has a real home base and spend a lot of time there

-definitely "lets" you win arguments, but he still thinks you're wrong lol

-he is a bath man. like he spends an unhealthy amount of time in the tub if he has the time for it. he likes salts that help with soreness and he likes when you take them together so you can just talk about your day

-if you were part of something like a book club/knitting group/something where other women get together and do granny activities, erwin loves when you host. he is making cocktails/tea and hanging out with you all to get the latest gossip. he doesn't like to interact with too many of his coworkers bc he doesn't want to get attached lmao, but he loves knowing the neighborhood tea

-"ingrid, waiting for him to come to his senses is a waste of your time. you deserve someone who respects you." (needless to say, everyone loves him.)

-because of stuff like this, you aren't exactly secretly married. like your family and friends all know that you are married to the scouts' commander, they just know better than to run their mouth about it. erwin just never talks about his personal life at work

-his section commanders all know, but they were all super shocked to find out. everyone would have been up late working on a plan or something and he finally tells them to go home. someone would have asked a last minute question and he's like, "tomorrow. i'm late for dinner." and hange is the only one bold enough to be like, "haha, you got a secret wife or something?" and he just raises a thick eyebrow like "my wife isn't a secret."

-everyone was shook and waited for him to leave to talk about it and try to figure out the lore

-levi found out later, awhile after he joined the scouts when he heard everyone gossiping about you two. he pretended he didn't care but the man was shocked

-you might meet a few section commanders/captains over the years by picking him up at work for a date or eating lunch with him in his office when he's in the capital, but the introduction is always brief and it's never long enough for you to get to know anyone

-any day that you plan to visit him at work, he calls miche into his office beforehand and tells him that he's not allowed to sniff you in the event that you meet

-when erwin loses his arm and levi finds out, he's obviously pissed that he couldn't have been there to help, but all he ends up saying at first is "sucks for the mrs."

-when erwin comes home for the first time after this, he almost feels embarrassed that he can't be doing things on his own, and terrible that he can't do things for you like usual. tbh, he'd ve kind of aloof at first bc mans is avoidant, so you'd have to show him that you're not throwing in the towel

-it's a massive moment of vulnerability for him when you help him out with things that used to be second nature, like buttoning his shirt and writing. however, he spends a lot of time at home while he's healing and although there are some moments of tension, you grow together a lot

-hange would offhandedly mention you at the beginning of the events of season 3, like half joking and half curious. "you think erwin's wife is gonna leave him? he lost an arm and now he's in prison. that's gotta test the ol' vows."

-levi would glare at them in utter disbelief like ?? "honestly, shitty glasses. where do you get the nerve?" and sasha and connie would overhear and look at each other and just go off the rails trying to piece it all together, like trying to figure out if they missed signs or smth

-levi squad uses this as a distraction from the horrors of humanity within the walls :D

-overall, erwin values you and your relationship above any other relationship he has. he wants to protect you from getting attached to his coworkers because it's bad enough that you fell in love in the first place. he considers your relationship the most selfish and self indulgent thing he's taken part in, but he can't bring himself to feel remorse because you're impossible not to love and he wants you waiting for him when he gets home

#erwin fluff #erwin x reader #erwin smith #erwin smith x reader #aot headcanon #erwin smith headcanons

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starssunsoftheinfinite · 9 months

Note

just remembered your requests are open!!!

Can I request a Loki with like...a winged s/o? Maybe half-bird?? Or angel, I guess? Preferably male but gender neutral is fine if you prefer that

Also the s/o is really, really tall. Taller than him.

sorry if this is too vague lol. I can make it more specific if you need.

love your writing btw!!!! Thank you good night!!!

-💚💚

Did I disappear for like... A large amount of time? Yes, yes I did. BUT I AM BACK WITH A VENGEANCE and I have lots of writing to do and ideas. I believe I actually stared this ask like.. A week after I got it? And I'd been working on it on and off since fjdjdj. I actually finished it just now and thought I'd make sure I get it out immediately dhdjjd you have waited long enough

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Loki x male! Winged! Tall! Y/n

Fluff/comfort/angst but only if you take your glasses off and squint within an inch of your life/the intimacy of cleaning someone you love my beloved

Warnings: none that I can think of! Maybe like... Sort of poor hygiene on your part? But not like anything detrimental it's just very hard to clean big old fluffy things attached to your back!! I also left the visual of the wings very vague. Loki does call you Dove but it's your choice whether or not that's because you look like a dove or if it's just cute <333

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"look at you" he says and his voice is like warm milk soothing a sore throat. Where you stand you feel like all eyes are on you, even if the only eyes are his. Your bathed in candlelight that flickers against your face, dipping in and out of the contours of your skin. Your wings are spread wide just as he had asked. Loki likes to see you like this, likes to witness you vulnerable. Usually your beauty is hidden by golden armour shimmering in sunlight and as much as Loki likes gold, he likes you more. So when night falls and you shed your armour in favour of soft shirts and loose trousers he savours it. He has you standing by the wall facing his bed while Loki leans on the bedpost with his arms crossed and his eyes trained on you. "I much prefer you like this instead of hidden away under all that metal." he says as he pushes off the wooden post in favour of walking towards you at an agonisingly slow pace.

For lack of a better term, you want to snuggle. Desperately so. You want to be held, to hold, to nuzzle into Loki's shoulder and take in his scent until you drift off into peaceful slumber. So you'd rather appreciate it Loki would come a little closer. He's strong as anyone, probably stronger than you, he is a god after all, but you're taller so you could probably man handle him into cuddle. Maybe. Loki's hands rest on either side of your face once he's close enough and he looks up at you like your the most wonderful thing in the world. You don't know how he does it really. "thank you. For letting me stay here at night." you say, just above a whisper. "oh my sweet boy, you've done so much today." he begins, his hands trailing to rest on your waist. "you need some time in the quiet. Besides, I need to clean up those wings- you really need to remember to do that." he says but it's barely chastising.

Your lips spread into a wide smile as he takes your hand and pulls you to the bed, gently pressing on your chest until you sit on the edge. Your forehead is just around the middle of his chest now, your head tilting back only a little until Loki's Face is back in your line of sight. Loki gives you a quick peck on the forehead before slipping behind you, kneeling in the silk sheet and begginning to undo the back tie at the bottom of your shirt. Having something with an intact collar and an open back that you tie up at your lower back was one of the only ways you could figure out to allow your wings free range in your shirts. Loki had helped with sewing when you were fixing your clothing, kind thing he is. He slips your shirt off with ease, leaving you comfortably bare as his hands smooth over the skin on your back. "poor thing. All messy." he cooes, his index finger trailing over the feathers on your left wing, watching them brissle beneath his fingertips. Your head ducks a little. You'd never been good at pruning yourself. It was a hassle, so intricate and it just took up so much time that you didn't have to give. So you often left it until it got bad, even if it hurt. This was something Loki frequently scolded you for but you never seemed to listen. So now he sits rearranging feathers while you scrunch your face in discomfort. "easy does it" loki whispers after you let out a particularly pathetic squeak. "doesn't hurt too much, does it?" he asks, as cool and composed as usual but the hint of concern spoke loudly to trained ears. You shake your head "it hurts more to leave them. It's mostly.. Uncomfortable really. Gets sort of itchy and gross feeling." you shrug and your words earn a stern look from Loki "then perhaps you should stop leaving them." he scolds softly. You know he's right but you argue nonetheless. " it's too much hassle. With training, duties, everything.. I don't have much time and the time I do have I'd rather not spend cleaning hundreds of feathers." it's understandable really but Loki worries and you understand that too. You choose to ignore how nice it feels to have Loki fix your wings up. You're lovers, affection is no stranger to either of you, but admitting that part of the reason you 'forget' to prune is because you like it when Loki fusses over you may just be a little too embarrassing. Loki let's out a small hum and smooths his fingers over the last few feathers.

You arnt quite sure when he got a sponge and bowl of soapy water, you presume some magic was involved, but either way you feel Loki press a wet sponde to the base of your wings. You turn your head to look behind you, your eyes falling down on Loki where he sits "little warning next time." you chuckle and he grins back at you. He soaks your feathers, watching them flatten out and eventually the majority of your wings are soaked. "see? Isn't this nice? All clean." loki hums like he's trying to convince a child vegetables are good. "yes it is nice. But only because I'm not the one doing it. My arms would be aching by now." that's another reason cleaning tour wings was such an unattractive idea. Your shoulders ached like hell after, constantly reaching behind you. "I suppose that's true. But if you needed a cleaning you should have asked. You didn't need to wait until tonight. I'll clean you up during your breaks if I have to." it's sweet, really. To have a prince take time out of his day to clean you. Perhaps there is some sort of metaphor or commentary on something in those words but at the moment your too focused on how Loki's hands feel gently rubbing a towel on your feathers. "I don't want to bother you" you say as your head ducks down in relaxation. "you're royalty, Loki. It already feels odd to always look down at you, you should not have to stoop even lower and clean me at my command." you admit. Despite how nice it feels to be taken care of, that underlying worry is always there.

Loki's hand stops and for a moment you fear You have said something wrong. "I like looking up at you, Dove." you've always liked when he called you that. "I like having to crane my neck to get a good look at your face. It make it feel like a great reward after my efforts. And I like to clean you. The way you curl up in your wings after they have been cleaned, basking in the fresh scent is rather cute." he says and for a moment you don't quite believe him. It doesn't sound like him, really. He is cocky and sometimes even down right rude if the wrong person gets on his nerves, but with you... He's so soft. He takes any opportunity to give you attention and uses it to its fullest, he whispers sweet nothings to you as though he were not a God. It almost feels sacrilegious. "you're just saying that" you say, eyes flicking to the floor. "ah ah, I see you in the mirror on the wall over there, there will be no shameful looking down with me, young man. Eyes up" Loki quickly corrects and you do as asked without question. That darn mirror. "Darling. My love. You do not need to worry about whether or not I enjoy moments like this because the answer will always be yes. I adore you. That includes the cleaning. Especially if I get to cuddle with you afterwards, it's always so soft all wrapped up in your wings. " cuddling! You'd almost forgotten about your desperate need for a cuddle until it was mentioned. You glance behind you, trying to look at your wings as best you can" are they dry yet? " you ask and Loki tilts his head, gently rubbing your wings down with a towel." eager are we? They will be soon. Patience, Dove" Loki hums and you nod.

After a few more minutes of silent scrubbing, Loki sets the towel down and gently ruffles the base of your wings where the smallest, fluffiest feathers were. "all done, my love." Loki cooes and your turning around before he even finishes. "-oh my" he mutters and he is silently thankful he had 'magic-ed' away the bowl of water when it was no longer needed. You scoop him up with ease, your hands under your back as you swiftly pull him up towards the head of the bed. "I feel like a damsel in distress swept up by her Knight" he comments as you ease him down on the left side of the bed and Loki presses his face into the silk pillow. "apologies. It's just- been a while and as much as you tell me to be patient, I am not very good at that." you say and pull him closer, curling your wings around him like a fuzzy shield. Loki shakes his head and his gaze never leaves you, his eyes filled with adoration and the contours of his face lit by what little candlelight could sneak through your feathers. If 'I love you' had a face it'd be his. " I am certainly not complaining." he says and then his eyes glance down in thought, then return to you. Your head is pressed against the soft pillow like it's the most comfortable thing in the world and your arms hold Loki tight. "you really needed this, didn't you?" "the cleaning?" you interupt "no, Dove. Well, yes. But no. Just to be taken care of. Held, to hold, to be cleaned." You don't answer for a moment and really that's answer enough. Fighting was difficult, training was difficult, even maintaining your own wings was difficult. But Loki made it easier. So much easier. You nod "yes. I am grateful for my life. For who I have met because of my profession. But it is tiring. I needed this. Needed you. Thank you" your voice is softer than intended in the quiet room, the two of you curled up and protected in your wings as you both wind down from the long day. Lokis hands finds your face, cupping your cheeks and rubbing your cheekbones with his thumbs as though you were something precious or delicate. "oh my love. My darling boy. Should you need me, call for me. Perhaps even pray to me. I am God after all, I will hear. And when I hear that it is you who calls I will be there before you even finish. With open arms and gentle hands. And perhaps a bowl of soapy water. " it's such a simple declaration. Something usual for couples. It's not exactly monumental for a lover to tell you to reach out should you need them and yet when he does it feels like you'd been gifted the stars themselves. "I will. I will call for you." you whisper, pressing yourself impossibley closer, your foreheads resting against each other. "Good. Now close those eyes, my boy. You've earned your sleep. And you look so cute all curled up and sleepy, I'd much like to see that again" he hums and you can't help the grin on your lips as your eyes flutter shut. "goodnight, Loki." you say and just before sleep grasp you by the hand you hear a soft "Goodnight, My dove."

#Loki x reader #Loki x male reader #loki x y/n #Loki fanfic #X male reader #Male reader fanfic #Male reader

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aelinschild · 9 months

Text

Season Of Forgiveness

Main Masterlist

Happy Holidays everyone!! I'm a little (Very, sorry!!) late with this post, but this is my gift for the 2023 Rowaelin Secret Santa! Big thank you to @rowaelinscourt for organizing it!! This is dedicated to the lovely @shyvioletcat , I wish you a very merry holiday season, and hopefully you enjoy this absolute monstrosity. I actually do not know what took over me during writing this, but I'm just happy its done.

SYNOPSIS: Holidays are known to be the season of joy, but when that joy is no longer Aelin's, she is forced to find peace in the unknown. WORDCOUNT: 9k GENERAL WARNINGS: Very light one bed trope, mentions of sex, angsty for no reason, swearing, alcohol, arguments, choking and CPR, happy ending dont worry

(A/N: After writing this, I realize it has the same vibe of calling Die Hard a Christmas movie. Granted, I actually didn't finish the movie, but from what I watched, how the fuck is it a Christmas movie?? This is me telling you that this fic is probably like that lol)

Hour One

Fuck.

There was really no other way to put it. Fuck is such a versatile word, situationally. Aelin can recount the times she's moaned out breathy fucks, and the times she's roared them during moronic altercations.

This type of fuck? Certainly not the cathartic type.

This fuck is the sum of all past mistakes in her life, multiplied by her best friend's scheming mind, and then raised to the power of the irrational choice to return to her old university town.

On the queen-sized bed were two plush towels. A robe. Face cloths and minimal toiletries.

Oh, and a fucking red rose.

In Lysandra’s plush apartment – a classic Victorian style, with ivy creeping up the brick fireplace, and stained glass windows at odd intervals – she was the owner of three bedrooms.

And to Aelin's luck, there happened to be two couples staying here this evening. Which meant two of the three bedrooms were now occupied. Mathematically speaking, the two other individuals would each need their own room.

It seems that math slipped Lysandra's mind when she organized her little yearly anniversary Yulemas Eve dinner. How…pleasant.

Chest rising and falling with barely contained frustration, Aelin didn't know whether to yell or cry. Her hand held her overnight bag so tight her knuckles were pressing at the whites. Nails digging into supple skin.

It didn't take a genius to figure out what Lysandra had done. But it took a lot of willpower for Aelin to not storm out of the room and choke her friend for the transgression. And just past the blood rushing in her ears, she could hear the friendly greetings of her other friends as they crossed the threshold of Lys’ little home. Welcomed into the warmth of tradition.

Oh, I'm going to kill you, Lysandra.

Aedion and Lys would – obviously – take their master bedroom. Located around a corner and at the end of that hall. Far from where Aelin was. A feature she was grateful for, given Aedion and Lysandra's… healthy love life. And Lorcan and Elide would slip into the downstairs spare room. The one the couple had claimed during the first year of this tradition.

Leaving Aelin, in this spare room with a queen-sized bed and the bloody rose, to bed with Rowan.

Oh, how she loathed her life at this moment. What foul god had she angered to be punished this way. Maybe that same god would derail Rowan’s cab en route. Shucking it into a frozen lake, or something of the like.

Gently brushing over the towels, Aelin traced the other memories this room held.

The queen-sized bed hardly fit her and Rowan, that she knew from experience. His height alone ruined the tucked edges of their duvet, which always ended up on his side of the bed by morning. The pillows would have to be mushed together in the middle so that they would not fall off. And Rowan, he at night would roll around. Restless, even in the deepest hours. He would usually end up on top of Aelin, face along her breasts and hair tickling her chin.

Her fingers moved from the towel to the rose. Plucking it up, she held it at eye level. Studying the contours of the flower, it was beautiful. But Aelin couldn't get past the fact that Lysandra had set this up. And put a godsdamned rose on the towels.

Aelin might just take the couch.

The front door opened and closed again, voices rose up from the entry through the open bedroom door. Aelin began unpacking mechanically. The drawers where she set her clothes were the same as she had for the last decade. The dent on the wall by the left corner was also the same. Seems like Aedion never got around to patching it. Aelin chuckles under her breath, the talking-to she and Rowan had received after denting the wall from a vigorous…activity, would never fail to not make her laugh.

Once the unpacking was complete, only taking a few moments as Aelin wouldn't be staying longer than the night, she took a moment to sit on her side of the bed and breathe.

This would be disastrous. And she had no way of getting out. Unless she jumped from the window to her left.

A decade ago, Aelin and Rowan had met through their friends. Their family. Aedion had bridged the gap by dating her best friend, Lysandra. Their quickly evolving and fiery romance meant that there would no longer be Aelin-Elide-Lys days. Now, they included the Ashryver cousin. Lorcan and Rowan had been over Aedion’s lovesick puppy act and had forcibly inserted themselves into the group. As her cousin rarely left Lysandra's side anymore.

This meant that Aelin and Elide were left to deal with two grumpy college guys. It was like babysitting rocks, who could probably show more emotion than the lot of them. But somehow, somewhere along the line, Elide fell for Lorcan. And when Aelin was forced to watch another friend fall in love, she turned to the only bastard left.

But Aelin and Rowan had always been…different. Difficult entirely. It started as sex. Each of them too busy with their respective degrees to foster any more of a connection.

It worked, and it worked well.

For two years, Aelin was exclusive with Rowan Whitethorn without anyone knowing the depth of their friendship. To her girlfriends, he was the hot guy whom Aelin should really give a chance. To his boys, she was the girl who could obviously help blow off a little steam.

Time stretched out, and steadiness had replaced the need for romantic connection. Post graduation, Rowan and her barely crossed paths anymore, unless the entire group got together. But there still existed an attachment built during years of intimacy – which Aelin never voiced, not wanting to ruin the entire affair by breaking the principle rule of their arrangement. And due to that principle, Rowan had also never expressed any interest above surface-level desire.

She had been left in the dark of his feelings for her, just as she had left him in the dark of hers. They were two polar magnets, separated only by the fear of shattering the fragile closeness built from tentative familiarity. Neither were any good at subtly hinting at something.

When the parallel lines of their lives crossed, ever-diligent Rowan proposed something rather different. Unpredictable.

He offered a relationship.

Looking back, it was hilariously clinical. It wouldn't surprise her if he had stored papers in her bag with a list of what their relationship could entail. Numbered – or alphabetically ordered. Probably about who did what and when hand-holding was allowed. Such a stickler for the rules.

But Rowan had shocked Aelin that night. When she had said yes, fuck it let's give it a chance, and they had gone back to his apartment, there was a bouquet of fragrant red roses placed on the counter. A box of her favourite chocolates beside it. Things she had mentioned in passing, probably after a hook-up. Maybe during a romantic comedy that they would often watch together. Where she’d point out the little things men can do that show a deeper appreciation.

They had cracked open a bottle of wine, and talked for hours under the stars and above the rushing traffic. And it was like peeling back a layer, revealing this steadfast and romantic man. The one who had refiled her glass more than once. Used his hand to cover sharp edges when she leaned around after a few too many drinks. Who had carried her to bed, gently unclasping her stiletto heels and massaging the tired soles of her feet. Who had carefully removed the maxi dress she wore, hanging it up to prevent creases. Then, with permission, undressed her further.

That night hadn't been like before. Aelin wasn't sure she had ever felt that way. Not a blinding, stretching heat or an all-consuming pressure. No, rather a connection. When Rowan had caressed her like a piece of art, she felt revered. Holy. Her skin had tingled with the unfamiliar feeling of adoration.

Breathless whispers and tight holds had conveyed words that were far too new to speak aloud.

That night had been the beginning of a long-standing understanding. The two of them weren't open about their connection. Rather, it was a pleasant slice of life, cut out to fit the shape of two lovers who aimed to navigate the crossroads of their future. And for years they existed peacefully in the space they had made for each other.

Until they couldn't anymore.

The door creaked open, its hinges never oiled. Lysandra was allergic to a chemical in WD-40.

A whoosh of breath came from the entrance, and Aelin’s spine felt the all too familiar tingle of the presence of the man she had loved.

“Aelin,” came the voice, like gravel smoothed by arctic winds. There always existed some sort of unrest under Rowan’s skin. It could be heard in his voice, worn from use. Had she still been his, she would have made him a cup of tea. Extra honey. As he liked.

Humming out a noise of acknowledgement, Aelin turned slightly. Cheeks starting to heat. “Hello, Rowan.” She said, breathlessly.

She watched his throat work. He had gotten leaner since she last saw him. His eyes less bright. Cheeks sunken. His unachievable tan had faded.

He was still the beautiful boy–man, she had always known. Pleasure and pain united, each moment in his presence stole some of her oxygen. She loved him. Loved.

A shrill squeak this time, and a crafty brunette head popped into the doorway. “Ah! Okay! Guess, how many candies are in this jar!” Lysandra asked the both of them. Their moment shattering and instead opening up to accept another's presence. Lysandra was holding a large mason jar filled with red and white peppermint swirl candies.

“Uh,” Rowan scratched the back of his neck. “Two hundred?” Lysandra just snorted and then turned to Aelin.

Aelin studied the jar, fighting to not break out into goosebumps with the feeling of Rowan’s eyes on her. “One hundred…and… forty-three–no! Twenty!”

“Final answer?” Lysandra taunted.

“Yes.”

“Wrong.” She cackled. Turning away and hightailing it down the hall, laughing like she was possessed. “Come downstairs, you losers!”

Hour Two

Aelin had left with no word to Rowan. She couldn't bear it. The wound still so fresh. Instead, she had sauntered by and shut the door gently on her way out. Missing the pleading look in his eyes as she walked away.

“Ae!” Elide shouted at her approach. Aelin couldn't help but smile. As awful as the next eleven hours may be, Aelin was grateful she had her best friends by her side. Lysandra's still on thin ice.

“El! Look at you!” Aelin grabbed a hold of her friend's hand, letting her do a little twirl. The sequined skirt she had on fanned out around her. Reflecting the lights in the room across the walls. “You like our own little mirrorball.”

Elide just let out a soft laugh. Grinning. “Gotta get the party started somehow.” She said. Stepping back she put her arms on Aelin's elbow, holding tight. She made a show of looking around the room, and upon it being clear, Elide looked her right in the eyes. “I'm sorry.”

“For what,” Aelin asked, perplexed.

She gave her a pointed look. “I tried to explain to Lys that she wasn't being fair. It's not fair. I offered to get a hotel room for me and Lorcan, but you know how Aedion is about traditions.” She rolled her eyes. “I realize that this isn't… you know. This was not on the healing plan–”

“Maybe, El, just being with my best friends could be healing. Maybe we switch the healing plan around for a little.” She said softly, speaking from a place of honesty.

Elide’s eyes were misty, and Aelin had to look away. This was a hurt that was deeper than her.

She took a breath, “Okay. But–no I'm serious. Don't look away. If you need anything, anything at all, I'm here. And we can have a little girl meeting with Lys after we put the boys to bed.” She gave a choked laugh.

Aelin nodded. An understanding passing through them both. Everyone knew that tension would be high this evening. Aelin herself knew it would be brutal. Facing her ex at Lys’ annual Yulemas Eve Dinner, a tradition shrouded in love and comfort. But she was eternally grateful for Elide – and Lysandra, but maybe not currently. How she found such caring women would never fail to surprise her.

Elide nodded back, smile and eyes watery. They both let out laughs. This solidarity was something Aelin needed more than she knew.

“Okay, no more tears.” Aelin sniffed, disconnecting their hand-elbow position to wipe at her waterline. Elide laughed and did the same; laughing at the growing pains. Embracing and squeezing love into each other.

Hour Three

They had all moved to the living room. It was three o'clock, and the festivities would run until midnight.

This tradition of theirs started years ago, when Lysandra had been given this apartment by her uncle, conveniently on Yulemas Eve. As a group of broke college students, they had gotten together at noon at Lys’ new abode, flocking towards the offer of free food and drinks. But, they had spent the next twelve hours renovating, each of them finding different tasks every hour to keep the boredom away. At midnight, the promised food had been delivered and all of them had pigged out and slept on the worn carpet of the living room, full of holiday spirit.

That tradition continued on, and it proved to be extremely helpful in the days when family ties were harder to save than simply forget. When the lonesomeness of the holidays overtook the youths, twelve hours at Lysandra and Aedion's home would never fail to rekindle that merriment.

And so, for the past decade, everyone would arrive at noon, and each hour would be filled with something new; usually holiday-themed, but it was truly left to Aelin’s best friend’s imagination.

So at hour three, the group found themselves in the living room, sipping on sparkling wine and snacking on appetizers. This would – apparently – be the hour of catching up.

“... And so I told him, if he wanted a maid he could hire one. I mean, the man is rolling in money. What fucking scumbag hires someone, and then lets them play servant for the rest of the office, and then drops all his work on them? I mean, truly.” Elide was saying. Aelin was nodding along, enjoying the fresh gossip about her best friend's workplace. “But then he got all on his high horse, all you can't talk to me like that and I'm your superior, you know. Stupid bullshit.”

“So what did you do?” Lysandra asked, thoroughly enthralled by the story. Lorcan let out a hearty chuckle, his arm slung across Elide lovingly.

“I fucking stole the glass plate from his microwave. Then took all the ink cartridges from his pens. And all the extra toilet paper in his washroom? Not there anymore!” Aelin snorted out her bubbly wine. Lysandra was racked with giggles, and Lorcan was trying not to laugh out loud. Aedion’s cackle joined the fray. And like she always would, Aelin picked up on Rowan's breathy laugh, it ignited flames through her veins.

“Oh my gods, El. You absolute heathen,” Aedion got out through fits of laughter. Lysandra attempted deep breaths while wiping stray tears from the corners of her eyes. Aelin stared into her drink, suppressing giggles.

“Well, it's not like he didn't deserve it,” Elide added, smiling smugly. Lorcan just kissed her temple.

“Certainly not. Where’d you get those ideas though?” Leaning for a piece of cheese, Aelin asked. Grabbing a few pieces and rolling them around in her palm. Lysandra’s giggles were waving in and out, each time Aedion whispered something in her ear, they’d begin again.

“My gigantic brain.” Elide snorted, pleased at her joke.

“Nice, El.” Came from Rowan.

“See, I thought you'd crucify me for that. Mister straight and narrow.” Oh.

Rowan didn't falter, “No, actually, if anything that gives me ideas.” He said. “Sometimes the corporate world can be a little too uptight.” He glanced at Aelin.

Aedion laughed again. “Rich! That’s rich coming from you.” He taunted.

Rowan leaned into the jest. “Maybe I want to break free.”

“Uptight life not suiting you anymore, Boyo?” Came from Lorcan.

“Maybe.” Rowan shrugged. “Maybe life is worth a little more than corporate deviances.” He pulled at the seams of his shirt. Fingers twirling the stem of his sparkling wine.

Aelin didn't think anyone else had noticed the stall in the conversation. The way the bright energy slowed and sputtered. Pausing momentarily and applying enough pressure to Aelin’s soul that she felt winded. But everyone moved on, Rowan included. Laughing and sharing stories as they might.

The conversation didn't end, and Aelin’s buried sorrow didn't dissipate. But she would keep breathing. Keep moving forward, exchanging banter all in the hopes of drawing out the sound of her heart breaking slowly.

“By the way, Lys, how many candies were in the jar?”

“None. It was the paper decoration that it came with from the store.”

Hour Four

It was cocktail hour.

This was Aelin’s favourite tradition. One she actually prepared for. And it consisted of each of them having to make a holiday-themed cocktail, completely customized. There could be no research during the competition – before was a grey area Aelin loved to exploit – and they each had ten minutes.

The order would follow; Lorcan, Lysandra, Elide, Aedion, Rowan, Aelin. And so, a silver tray had been placed in the middle of the table, and six yellowy drinks in champagne flutes sat. The colour was truly horrifying.

“So, explain.” Lysadra motioned to start.

“Right,” Lorcan grabbed a flute, examining it carefully. Like he didn't even know what was in it himself. “So, this…drink–”

“Sound a little more enthusiastic babe, or I'll be really worried about what you made.” Elide interrupted.

“I'm already worried,” Rowan whispered to Aedion, face set in a perplexed grimace.

“Hush, you goons.” He waved at the other guys. They broke apart laughing. “In here there is…Gin, uh, some Limoncello and creme de Banane. And I call it the…uh, I don't know. Yellow shot?”

“...of death,” Aelin whispered to Lysandra. Who nodded solemnly. Elide looked disgusted at her fiance’s creation, but schooled it into a look of pride when he turned to her. The moment he looked away, she made a fake gagging motion to Aelin and Lysandra.

“Sounds wonderful, my dear Lorcan. Now, my great sir, would you please bring me my beverage.” Aedion declared, hands aiming to move in a dignified manner. He looked like he was trying to swat away flies.

“No.”

“It was worth a shot,” He sighed, reaching for a drink.

Aelin grabbed a flute, “Limoncello and Gin, what the hell were you aiming for here Lorcan?” She delicately sniffed at the drink. Oh god.

Plopping himself nearly onto Elide, who let out a squeak, he just shrugged. Grabbing his flute, he threw it back in one fluid motion. Everyone paused, waiting for the reaction. He swallowed, looked around, and then quickly turned away to gag and cough.

Laughter erupted.

Once everyone had a glass, clinking them together in cheers, and shot it down like Lorcan. He watched from on the couch, eyes a little watery. There was a pause as everyone swished the drink around in their mouth, tasting the flavour.

It was fucking godsawful. Aelin had never tasted anything so evil. The hint of banana flavour nearly had her spitting the drink back into the glass, and the way the Gin nearly curdled it was almost worse. Taking a deep breath through her nose, she tried to swallow. Forcing the atrocity that was Lorcan’s drink down. Catching Elide’s eye, as the woman got up and ran for the washroom. Lysandra was the only one who seemed unbothered.

“Fuck!” Aedion shouted when he could speak again. “Holy gods man, I have never put anything worse into my mouth. Ever.”

“And that's saying somethin',” Rowan choked out. Also beyond bothered by Lorcan’s monstrosity.

“You evil, evil man,” Aelin added. A shudder racking her body.

The cocktail hour carried on. Lysandra had made a mojito with cinnamon rather than mint, and it was not nearly as bad as Lorcan’s. Elide had done a ‘Sunrise Suprise’, which was simply tequila and orange juice. The ability to make a good cocktail skipped both Elide and Lorcan. Aedion had wanted to send everyone to their death, combining four different whiskeys and a melted spoonful of ice cream. It hadn't been as bad as expected, but there were much better choices out there. Rowan had mixed pickle juice and vodka, to create a dill martini. Interestingly enough, that had been the most palatable drink of the night.

When Aelin’s turn came around, she began to pull out the individual ingredients. Lining them up in the order in which she would mix. Her focus on the drinks made her unaware that another body was present in the kitchen. Until they spoke up.

“You look well,” Rowan said from the opposite end of the room, his body leaning up against the cabinets. Jumping at the sudden sound of his voice, her head snapped up. There he was, cataloguing her every move, a familiar feeling; his eyes on her.

Startled, she stared at him. And kept staring at him, not realizing she had been ogling him for a few moments. She took in the lines of his body, the way his dress pants hugged his legs. The black leather belt, cinching in his waist. The sweater – cashmere, most likely – was elegantly draped over his upper body. The hard planes of his stomach were slightly in sight as the soft material moulded to his form. Everything about Rowan meant something. And looking at him only brought back bitter-sweet memories. Her gaze snapped away when he gave a light noise of acknowledgement.

Blushing and caught, Aelin turned back to the drinks, cracking open the bottle of vodka she had slipped mint candies in a few weeks ago. She planned to let the flavours permeate the liquor and add a nice flair to her drinks. She felt Rowan’s inquisitive eyes on her every move.

“Thank you, Rowan.” Acknowledging him, she hoped he would just walk away. She wasn't strong enough to just stand here and allow him to be there. To feel the gaping divide between their beings.

Silence.

“I– Look, I need to talk to you Aelin,” He approached from the other side of the room, slipping around the counter where she was. “I know it’s not the best–”

“Rowan.” A firm command, all blushed drained. She could be strong. She could. She was back to looking at him again. Green eyes, full lips, strong jaw. The silver strands that ghosted his brow. Gods she hated how looking at him hurt her so deeply. His smile, and laughter, earlier had been the knife to the gut. His presence here now? A twisting.

“No, Aelin. I'm serious.”

“I am too.”

“Wait.” He breathed. Gentler this time. His hand stretched out, muscle memory. She knew it would land at the curve of her waist, how the weight of it would ground her. The warmth would slip under the fabric of her dress, warming her bones.

He retracted it before it got close enough, burning the neuron pathway that made the movement instinctual.

She steadied herself, leaning towards him slightly, but not enough to communicate any more interest in where this was going. “Not now, Rowan. Not now. You had your chance, let me be.”

“What chance? The fucking run-in at a cafe? That was not a ‘chance’ Aelin.” He snapped. Letting his frustration run into his tone. She hated him when he was like this. Not frustrated, no she understood that. But…seeking. She knew what he wanted, and she knew it would break her down quicker than she could turn away. Her sanity rested on the finalization of this conversation.

Smiling politely, in a way she knew brought more frustration, she turned away and began preparing the drink.

“Not now,” She whispered. More to herself, a silent prayer of resistance. She heard more than saw Rowan turn to walk away, over the entire conversation entirely. He missed the tear that raced down her cheek, or the hitch in her breath when the door swung close.

“Peppermint Cocktails!” Aelin announced, waltzing into the room with her usual charm, all emotions wiped. She avoided Rowan’s look like the plague. Offering a drink to each friend, she was pleased to hear that her concoction was the best of the night – an unsurprising win – and the group sat around talking still. The light buzz from all the alcohol had Aelin feeling looser. The unease from moments ago slipped away like sand between her fingers.

“I saw Rowan walk into the kitchen,” Elide whispered into her ear. Everyone else had been looking at a picture on Lorcan's phone.

“Mhm.”

“Want to talk about it?”

“No.”

Hour Five

Rowan likes the cold.

He liked it in a way many others didn't. He liked the way it nipped at his body slowly in the beginning, a feeling that was urgently chased away by shivers. He liked it when it froze deeper. When it slowly crawled into the heat of his body, dousing it and cutting off feeling. He liked the stiffness. The slowed movement as the cold reached his core, seizing feeling. It isolated him in a way many things did not.

Sitting on the front porch of Lysandra’s apartment, he embraced the cold.

Everyone had just finished up with a game of cards, and Aedion had rushed out, forgetting some ingredients for dinner. He had excused himself, just need a moment, and walked all of three steps before stopping. Allowing his body to freeze, his cashmere sweater not saving much heat.

As he lost feeling of some body parts, he embraced the thoughts rushing through his mind, all seemingly racing in circles around the fiery blonde. The one whose embers never burnt out, but now seemed to be slowly dying. The consistent crackle and warmth of her presence, all leaking away in a manner he knew he was responsible for.

The cold he had embraced wholeheartedly was killing his fireheart.

His thoughts spun like the twirling snowflakes as they fell to the ground. Circling gently, melting away. But all things seemed to lead him back to his bedroom. To the moment this morning, before he had slipped away into the cab to make it here tonight. His thoughts brought him to the second drawer in his nightstand, underneath a notepad and tissues. In an embroidered box, sat a diamond ring, inlaid into a gold band that had sweeping leaf designs along its curves. Two emeralds set into the inside, to rub against one's finger.

All thoughts seemed to lead him back to Aelin

Hour Six, Hour Seven, Hour Eight

“Can you pass me the salt?” Lysandra called from Aelin's right. She was before the stove, stirring the gravy and watching the vegetables as they cooked in the pan.

Handing her the salt, Aelin brushed by her to grab some butter from the fridge. Needing it for the bread that would be coming out of the oven soon, steaming hot.

They worked in a comfortable silence, only waiting for Aedion to return with some forgotten ingredients. Lorcan, Elide, and Rowan were all in the living room, having not been drawn for cooking duty this year. A method that was quickly taken up once the group realized six people in the kitchen was less of a pleasant experience. Top many bossy chefs.

Post-cocktail hour, tipsy cards had commenced. And the many, many, shots of straight liquor had reached Aelin by that time. She was feeling much better, her heart no longer aching and screaming at her mind to just look at the man across from her. Rather, she had enthusiastically played cards. Letting the feeling of her family around her and the laughter that kept escaping cocoon her. Unfortunately, that joy had meant that Lorcan had swept everyone off their asses, wiping the board clean and winning the one hundred and twenty dollars put into the pot. That had sobered her up pretty quickly, arguing that he had cheated. He had just smirked.

Then when Aedion rushed out, Aelin caught sight of Rowan walking out the front door too. She had been standing at the other end of the hallway, out of his view. She had watched his expression fall as soon as he crossed the threshold. It was like night and day, the crinkle around his eyes and the brightness of his smile, wiped away. He just stepped out, closing the door softly behind him.

She had waited a moment, arguing mentally if she should go after him, until Lysandra had called, telling Aelin she needed her help.

She wasn't ready to face him alone.

“Aelin,” A soft hand was at Aelin's wrist, pausing her chopping of vegetables. She glanced up, shocked out of her reverie. Lysandra was staring at her, looking deeply into her, her brows pulled together in confusion. She must've been calling me for a minute. When it seemed Lysandra had the other woman’s attention, she added softly, “I couldn't not invite one of you.”

Dropping the knife, “Lys.” Aelin pleaded, not wanting to have this conversation. It felt like the entire night had been her running in circles around her and Rowan. Her and Rowan. Rowan and I. “Seriously, I can't do more of this.”

Lysandra paid no mind to Aelin’s plea, pushing forward. “Listen. I love you deeply, very very deeply. Sometimes I wonder why,” at that, Aelin cracked a mirthful smile. “But I see the way you two look at each other. And while I know it's not my business, I think this is something you two seriously need to talk out.” She said solemnly.

This was the point she'd been dancing around for such a long time.

Pushing the cutting board away from her, Aelin slumped into her arms, leaning against the counter.

“Did I make a mistake? Breaking up with him?” Like a breath after being underwater, Aelin let it out, asking the question that had rattled in the back of her mind for months. Breathing in a little deeper when some new space opened up because of it.

“I have my own opinions, but whether or not you made a mistake is up to you.” Lysandra was soothingly rubbing her back.

“Some days it feels like the biggest fucking mistake I've ever made, Lys. Some days it hurts so much I can't even get out of bed.”

She hummed, letting Aelin speak.

“I just– it felt right at the time. But it doesn't feel right now. How is that fair? How could I have made a decision like that? What would have happened if I stayed?”

“You wouldn't have done well, Ae. We all saw what was happening.”

“But you can't know that.” She whispered out.

“I can, and I did. Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is let go. And that's what you did, my love. Maybe something could have gotten better, but maybe not.” Lysandra took a deep breath. “I'm proud of you regardless, that's not an easy choice to make.”

“And it clearly wasn't the fucking right one.”

Lysandra's hand stopped, she grabbed onto Aelin's shoulder, squeezing firmly.

“You can say that all you want, Aelin, but ultimately it was the right choice for you at the time. You blossomed. But now? Maybe it's different. And maybe every time I see you two lovesick fools in the same room, I am simultaneously sick and overjoyed. I see his face when he looks at you Ae, like you hung the stars.”

“What's this? Therapy hour?” A loud voice broke apart their moment, jerking both women out of their moment. It was Aedion with the groceries. He was smiling widely, but it fell when he took in the expression of the other women. “Oh. Shit, sorry.”

Aelin just groaned. “And look at me now, ruining the festivities.” Watching Aedion's smile drop was just a reminder of the emotional burden she forgot to check at the door. Bringing that cloud of gloom inside. It was not fair to everyone else, they didn't deserve to bear witness to the sorrow leaking from her.

“You're not ruining anything, Aelin. Aedion, stop being an idiot.” Lysandra amended.

Aedion, clearly understanding the situation now, came over to drop the groceries on the counter and pull his cousin into a tight hug. “Lys is right. You have nothing to be sorry for. We all love you lots and want to see you happy, and if drinking shitty cocktails and spilling your gossip helps you feel better, I'll gladly do it alongside you.” He kissed her temple.

Aelin wanted to break down. This was not how she expected to spend this evening. Granted, she has predicted being in the same vicinity as Rowan would test her. Bring those choked feelings up to the surface. It would hurt just as it had when they split, as there was truly no way to prepare for seeing him again after months of no contact. Months of isolation and heartache. Months without the half that made her whole.

“Lys, baby, is the gravy supposed to bubble like that?”

“Shit!” Exclaiming, Lysandra rushed away from Aelin's side to check on her portion of dinner. Leaving Aelin, still bent over the counter, staring at the herbs she’d have to chop to sprinkle over the potatoes.

She felt a gentle shoulder push against her side, and then her cousin was beside her, close enough she could feel the warmth radiating off his huge form. “Your parents would be so proud of you, Ae. No matter what. And I think you should do what you feel is best. Even if that's walking away. I love you, we love you.” Mumbling into her ears, lower than anyone else could hear. Aelin nodded, brushing the moisture away from her face.

“I love you too, Aedion.”

“Cheers to this year!”

Glasses chimed as they clinked together, bubbly wine spilling over, onto the feast laid up on the table. Decadent smells wafted up, making Aelin's stomach rumble. She was ready to dig into the spread, and let the food smother the churning anxiety in her stomach.

She was seated next to Elide, and Aedion on her other side. Everyone else was spread around the round table – Lysandra hated the idea of a square table. Not wanting any fighting over the head of it.

Aelin had spoken to Lysandra and Aedion for a few minutes more, opening up a little about how she had been feeling. It took some pushing, given her displeasure at possibly ruining everyone's evening with her issues, but the couple had assured her that it wasn't possible. Highly doubtful of that. But it had been…cathartic, to really speak about how she had felt. How she was dealing with her wounded heart. It meant more than Aelin would realize at the moment, for the two of them to give her a little perspective.

Then, once the timer for the roast had gone off, and the main part of dinner had been pulled out of the oven, it was dressed up in the herbs Aelin had finally finished chopping – after getting a few more hugs in from both Lys and Aedion. Lys and her had started dishing up the plates and Aedion set off to cut some of the roast. Lorcan and Rowan had joined to set the table. And Elide had popped some bottles of prosecco, pouring glasses for everyone.

Seated now, in front of a plate of aromatic food, a balm for the soul, she felt the urge to voice her appreciation. “So,” she started, drawing attention from everyone, especially Rowan. “I- I wanted to say thank you. To all of you. I think… that because of the lives we live today, I really don't have the opportunity to look at all of you and say that. To be able to sit around with each of you means more than anything, and I can't imagine being anywhere else right now. It wouldn't feel right.”

“Cheers to that,” Lorcan added, a slight smile aimed in Aelin’s direction. If that wasn't the definition of a Yulemas miracle, she didn't know what else could be.

Glancing around the table, the circle of the most important people in her life, her eyes stalled upon Rowan. She meant what she said, meant every piece of it. She loved all of them. Grumpy Lorcan, meddling Lysandra. But gods, she loved Rowan, and she lied to herself every day when he was no longer a warm presence next to her. His side of the bed uncharacteristically cold. The feeling of it cooling her.

She hadn't noticed the change in the environment, her focus being locked on Rowan. Their eyes connected, as if reading each other's minds. A choked wheezing noise almost drew her away, but she couldn't. Not when she was swimming in him, not when–

SLAM

“Elide!” A shrill scream. Ripping Aelin away, she was met with a panicked Lysandra, and a horrified Lorcan.

Elide was facedown on the table, and amid chaos, Aelin noticed her chest was not rising and falling as it should. Shouts ensued, voices yelling about get her up and call an ambulance. What had happened in the seconds Aelin wasn't present. How could this have happened that quickly? What was happening!

“She can't breathe!”

“Start CPR. Now!”

“Has someone called an ambulance?”

What is going on!

Lorcan had gently laid Elide on the floor. He had his finger down her throat. His face was panicked, but he was hiding it well, focusing on Elide. Chairs were shoved back, and Lysandra was rushing away, Aedion was on the phone, Rowan was getting on his knees by Elide. They were saying something to each other. Rowan pushed Lorcan away. Lorcan fought back before he realized what was happening. Rowan placed his hands by Elide’s middle, his fingers laced together. She looked so frail there, on the floor.

Rowan started pushing down, one two three four. One two three four. Onetwothreefouronetwothreefour– What is happening!

Aelin was frozen. Frozen in fear, in disbelief, in shock. How. That's all that was going through her mind. How. It had been going so well, how could one moment lead to this? To Elide, down on the floor, not breathing as her fiance shouted panic commands at Rowan. Equally freaked out. To Aedion, shouting instructions from paramedics. Two minutes away! To Lysandra, distraught, not knowing what to do. To Aelin, standing as her best friend couldn't breathe.

Lorcan leaned down, his ear by Elide's mouth. His hand on her neck, searching. Rowan paused, breathing heavily.

Aelin thought she knew what it was to feel her heartbreak, to feel it shatter. But she had never felt it as it fell. Dropped straight out of her chest when Lorcan looked up, eyes wide as saucers, pupils fully dilated. As he looked at Rowan and a lone tear slipped from his eye, dropping down, down, down. Down to where Elide was not breathing.

Hour …

Seated in the emergency ward of the local hospital, Aelin listened to a dull Lorcan list off what had happened. She had choked. She had something lodged in her throat for so long that she passed out. It got lodged deeper. She has two broken ribs. It's not your fault Rowan. You saved her life. She had an endoscopic surgery. To remove the food. She’ll need to stay for the night. Observation.

Struck by disbelief, Aelin couldn't do anything more than trace the lines on the floor. Her hands shook, a later symptom of the shock that had paralyzed Aelin in the moment of action. As Elide was carried out to the ambulance –still not breathing – she had only stood there. Rooted to place. Snapping out of it only when Rowan said he was going to follow them to the hospital. Aelin hadn't even said anything, snapping out of her state and running to the door to grab her boots and jump into whatever car Rowan would be taking.

Only she and Rowan were at the hospital, alongside Lorcan. Aedion had made the executive decision for Lys and him to stay back. Lys had been hysterical, shouting, but shaking just as Aelin was now. She hadn't thought of them once, only what might happen to Elide. To her lovely Elide.

“But she’ll be okay?” Rowan whispered. Agony weaved into his question. He felt guilty, this Aelin knew. Even if he had saved a life, he felt guilty he had hurt someone. She could scream.

Aelin didn't hear an answer, assuming that Lorcan had nodded when Rowan let out a great sigh. Cut short by the sob that burst out. Lorcan was there in an instant, wrapping his brother up in a tight hug. She palmed her thighs, squeezing so tightly.

Eventually, Lorcan released Rowan. The both of them were slightly breathless. Eyes red and sad. Lorcan said he was going to check on Elide, and Rowan sat down next to her. For a few quiet moments, no words were exchanged. A too-real grief hung heavy in the air. They almost lost someone, and now here they were, waiting for Elide to be here again. Because she almost wasn't. She was so close to not being here anymore.

Standing up abruptly, “I- I have to go.” Aelin walked off, not waiting for an answer from Rowan. She was walking quickly through the halls, adrenaline coursing through her so quickly she could barely breathe. And then her breath was coming too quickly. And then she was running, running for the exit. And in her haste, she didn't hear the other feet running after her.

All she could hear was her breath. Elide’s lack of.

She slammed through the front doors, flat-out sprinting now. She had no idea where to go, and it was snowing hard. The wind whipped at her dress-clad form – she hadn't grabbed her jacket. But she kept running. Tripping up on ice, pelted by the rising blizzard. She had no idea where she was, but the blood rushing in her ears, and her hyperventilating had her in a dizzying state.

“AELIN!” A voice roared. She couldn't tell where the sound was coming from, completely surrounded by falling snow, as it blocked out the light. Spinning wildly, she could feel the tears as they rushed down her face, freezing on her cheeks.

She was panting, barely in control, when Rowan came from her side, nearly slamming into her and knocking them both over. He was breathing heavily too. His hair was out of place and his eyes were wild.

“What were you thinking!” He yelled, grabbing onto her. “You can't fucking run like that! Aelin! What the fuck!” His tone kept increasing. His chest rose and fell rapidly. Unlike Elide. No movement, no breaths. No breaths, no breath, not breathi-

“Aelin! AELIN! Look at me!”

Her eyes were wild, nails pressing into Rowan’s biceps as she held onto him for dear life. Where was she, where was she, wherewasshe…

A chilled hand grabbed her chin, pulling her – not roughly – to look into Rowan’s frantic gaze. Her breathing wasn't slowing, and Rowan’s gaze was unbreakable. He was whispering something, his lips moving. Aelin watched as they moved, shifting up, down. The corners of his mouth pinching. Another hand came up, and her face was now being cradled between Rowan’s large hands. And she saw his lips still moving, and then the crease in his brow, the worry dancing in his eyes. And then she was pressed against his warm chest.

Her head was against his heart. The thump-thump a grounding. She felt her breathing start to ease, felt arms tighten around her. Felt as she leaned further into Rowan. The tears falling faster now, but her breaths slowing enough that her brain could finally catch up. To where she was. Where she was, here in Rowan’s arms. In Rowan’s ar–

“No!’ She shouted shoving away from him, breaking the cage that was his grasp. “No! No, no, no!”

Rowan just let his arms drop, hanging by his sides. His expression was one of worry, and confusion. Frustration and dismay. “What?” He said. His voice carried through the snowstorm.

“Dont– Dont do that!” Aelin sobbed out, hands going to her hair. Pulling at the roots and turning around aimlessly.

“Do what.” His hands clenched. His worry wiped away, a vexed expression appearing instead.

“Do that! Care for me! Stop!” She kept shouting, the snow thoroughly soaking her now. The chill seeping into her bones.

“Care for you? What?” He shouted back. “What the fuck do you mean Aelin!”

“I mean, don't come r-rushing after me! Don't fucking p-pretend you care!”

“Pretend I care?!” He took a step forward, she took one back. An undecipherable look crossed his face, before it was set back into a frown. His shoulders lined with tension, and fists opening and closing around nothing. “Aelin, what do you mean?”

“You don't care. S-so don't c-come running after m-me like you do!” The chills were shaking her body now, and she wrapped her arms around herself as tightly as possible, trying to keep in body heat. The storm was getting worse. Rowan’s image was getting blurrier, maybe it was her tears, still flowing freely. Along with her nose.

“What… Aelin– I,” His hand went to his hair, raking through the soaked strands before pulling. “I chased after you because you fucking ran away hyperventilating! Out of a hospital! Into a fucking blizzard! What do you think I’d do? Sit there like an idiot and let you freeze to death or get hit by a car?!”

“It doesn-”

“Yes it does! Yes, it fucking does!”

“Why!” She screamed, shaking and watching as Rowan stepped forward. This time she didn't step back.

“Aelin.” He said, this time it was more of a command, a telling. “Are you asking me why I’d come for you?”

She considered it for a second, then nodded.

A moment passed before Rowan's face morphed into one of genuine pain.

“Because I would always fucking follow you! And I would always make sure you are okay, no matter what.” He snapped. “And I'm sorry I can't turn my feelings off as easily as you, but watching you walk away, no matter what, it fucking kills me!”

There was a pause as the words sunk in, as Rowan’s chest rose and fell with laboured breaths, as his eyes traced her face for any hint – of anything.

“You what?” Aelin squeaked out. Not knowing if the question was swallowed up by the storm until Rowan took a tentative step forward. Then another, then they were just a few breaths apart.

“I would always follow you, Aelin,” He whispered, face drawn in sorrow. Her cheeks hurt from the frozen tears, but they warmed at his confession. “Because… because I still love you. Still so, so much. Ae, it hurts.”

“What,” She said, more to herself. But Rowan's face crumpled, and she felt the fall directly in her heart.

“Aelin,” He whispered, reaching for her hand that was tucked under her exposed bicep. Slowly freezing. She let him grab the hand, warming it between his palms, and then pulling her forward to place it on his heart. “I have missed you every day, and I- I couldn't do anything about it, ‘cause I fucked it up in the first place. I made you have to leave. And so I watched you walk away. I let you,” He took a deep breath. “I never wanted that to happen. Ever. But I did, and… gods Aelin, I’ve never regretted something more in my life.”

She just looked up at him. Not really believing the words she was hearing, because how could this be possible?

“Rowan…” Her lips were turning blue, and she could barely feel her legs. She was going to freeze out here, in the midst of a blizzard, as she heard her ex-boyfriend tell her how he messed up, how he missed her.

A tear fell on his face, and she watched it trail down. “I love you, Fireheart. I still love you. I am in love with you.” He shook his head, his hair had froze. “I'm sorry.”

“Rowan, I t-thought you wanted m-me gone. I thought it w-wasnt working.” Her teeth were clacking together so hard, she could barely get the words out. That and the weird feeling erupting from inside her.

“I never wanted you gone, Ae. I was just so… I didn't realize what I had– what we had.”

“And now y-you do?” She mumbled, her feelings dancing on the edge of a knife.

His pine-green eyes scanned her face so quickly, moving over every feature. As if he was re-memorizing them all. She watched his throat work.

“Ae… I don’t know how to– I,” He closed his eyes.

Aelin took in her hand on his chest, the tear tracks along his beautiful face. The soaked sweater. Her frozen body, and she took a chance, stepping forward, pressing up.

Rowan must have sensed a change, because his eyes snapped open, searching, before finding Aelin closer than she had been in months.

“Rowan…” She breathed, “I love you so godsdamned much.” She slung her arms around his neck, and pressed a cold kiss onto his stunned lips. He didn't react for a second, and she almost darted away, before she was pulled back.

Her lips crashed back into Rowan, into a fiery and all-consuming kiss that warmed her from head to toe. Rowan's hands moved all over, making purchase along her frozen body. Never settling, like he didn't realize she was real.

There, in the middle of a raging blizzard, Aelin got back what she had been searching for. Her other half. The man who was only everything to her, all along, and forever.

Once Rowan had realized that Aelin might actually contract hypothermia, he had rushed her back to the hospital, where she was treated for minor frostbite, and then released soon after. The pair had visited a sleeping Elide and tired Lorcan, before heading back to the house to update Lysandra and Aedion. Once they had gotten past them, Rowan had gone up to their room to run a bath for Aelin.

Lysandra had told Aelin she could take Lorcan and Elide’s room – given that they wouldn't be home that night – and when she had objected, saying she preferred her room, Aedion and Lysandra had looked at each other questioningly. But they let her go without a fuss, Lysandra already planning to get this information out of the woman.

Aelin had paid them no heed, moving lethargically upstairs, where she found Rowan sprinkling some of the petals from the rose into the bath.

She had kissed him, and then gotten distracted kissing him, before timidly inviting him into the bath as well. He agreed, and the two of them spent a gentle moment together, not initiating anything further, but Aelin sunk into the feeling of Rowan, of having him back in her life, in her heart.

When they had both pruned up, Rowan hopped out and brought the towels over, drying the both of them off. Running on the dregs of her earlier adrenaline rush, Aelin leaned heavily into Rowan as he got her ready for bed. The soft moment bringing her back to where she felt safe, where she knew she belonged. And when Rowan picked her up bridal style, gently laying her on her side of the bed, tucking her in and then crawling in behind her, she knew she was home.

“I love you, Rowan.”

“I love you, Aelin.”

Hours Later

That morning, when they went as a group to visit Elide and Lorcan in the hospital, carrying some gingerbread cookies, flowers and a present for Elide, they found the couple asleep together in bed. Lorcan's large body curled protectively around Elide, his great arms placed with a delicateness reserved only for the woman he loved. They had tried to backtrack – let them sleep – only for Elide to snap at them. Telling them to get their asses back in the room because she wants to spend Yulemas morning with her family.

Aelin could have cried happy tears, and she had. Rushing forward to hug Elide. Careful of her ribs, and the giant man behind her. She had cried into her arms. Mumbling incoherent words into the woman's skin. And soon she was joined by Lysandra, who was equally as teary. Lorcan had mumbled something about wanting to spend the morning with his fiance and had slipped off the bed with a groan, headed elsewhere. His spot was quickly replaced by the two other women. All of them snuggling up together. Rowan had snapped a quick photo.

Aedion and Rowan pulled up chairs, and Rowan grabbed an extra for Lorcan when he returned. Chattering happily, Elide was in the center of her family. And even if she had been in pain, had almost died, she was forgetting about it instantly with their arrival. And she sat with them for the entire morning, basking in the love so freely available.

And when it was time for them to leave, she didn't miss the way Rowan folded his arms around Aelin, and the beaming smile she reserved for him. The way their hands snaked together when they thought no one was looking. And the kiss Rowan dropped onto Aelin's brow as they walked off, away. Intertwined again.

Taglist: @backtobl4ck // @goddess-aelin

Thank you for reading!! Happy holidays to you all :))))

#rowaelin #throne of glass #aelinschild #rowan whitethorn #aelin galythinius #rowaelin fanfiction #aelin x rowan #rowaelin au #aelin fireheart #rowan x aelin #aelin ashryver galathynius #aelin galathynius

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jennay · 11 months

Text

Come Back Home

Jolly x reader

An: Random idea I had that I got stuck on and required way too much help from @a-villain-vying-for-attention then decided to make her a character since she basically came up with the ideas and I wrote it. Lol thanks for being my shadow writer for times when my brain decides it's done thinking.

Words 2200

Jolly Master List

This is chunked into four sections bear with me. I hate transitional writing 😂

"Please don't tell them. They'll just worry, and next thing you know, they'll be at my door, and it's just not the right timing for me to come back. I need to finish my work here, and it's not completely horrible. I think I just miss everyone, and I feel isolated." You admit over Facetime to your best friend, Kayla. "It just wasn't supposed to be like this. “Moving away from you guys was literally one of the worst decisions I've made."

Kayla sighs, "I don't mean to say I told you so, but I did." She laughs, "But the worst part is, Noah told you, Jolly told you, and you still just said bye bitches. Do you know how sad it is not to have you here? I have to deal with them all the time, by MYSELF."

You peel yourself off the couch, dragging your feet through the dining room and to the back door.

You brace yourself for the inevitable assault of the sun, but it still hurts like hell when you open the door and get blasted by its rays. "Fuck." You groan. "It's bright." You squint your eyes and cover them with your hand as you stumble to the camping chair you set up on your porch for such occasions. You hated the daylight. You wished you could be a nocturnal creature, but sadly, you had to pretend to be a responsible adult, even if you sucked at it.

"Wow, look at you, Dracula." She mocks you from the other side of the video call. "You look like you're about to die over there, paler than a ghost and skinnier than a twig. Do I need to come over and feed you some blood? I know it's only been six months, but I will literally come over and mother you to death. I'll bring Noah too, and we'll play house. God knows we need some practice." She flashes a big smile. "You know, for the future and all that jazz."

You laugh, shaking your head, "This is new for you!"

"Yeah, well, now I'm just working on convincing Noah that it's a good idea." She tucks her hair behind her ears. "So I need you to come back because I'm not raising these imaginary kids without their badass aunt."

You roll your eyes at her, "These kids don't even exist yet, so I think we have some time, and besides, I don't know if I'll feel any better moving back. If I have to watch HIM date other people and it not be me…well, I'd rather stay here and suffer in silence."

"Well, he's miserable without you, and why are we not using his name?" She laughs again. "Mopping and shit, constantly.”

You shrug, "I think he's probably fine. I basically threw myself at him and got no reaction. I literally slept in his bed the night before I left." You pause, growing frustrated. "Maybe we're just supposed to be friends; maybe he only sees me as a friend. That's OK. I can't be mad about that, but it always felt like there was something more, you know?"

Kayla groans loudly, "You both suck. If you would've just let me meddle, I could've set you two up."

"I don't want you to set me up! I wanted something natural." You say with all seriousness. "I wanted him to say it."

From behind Kayla, Noah pokes his head into the view, "He's dumb...guys are dumb." He gives you a face that says, duh.

"Well, now I'm here, and I can just say fuck it. I'll find someone here."

Noah's laughter rings through the speaker, "And then break up because all you're gonna do is fucking compare the two and be a whiny baby about how he's not Jolly, so you had to break up? Fuck off, y/n." He chuckles again. "Just come home."

You shake your head, "No. You will have to come to drag my dead body home before I willingly come back."

Noah grabs the phone from Kayla's hand, and you meet with wide eyes. And in a serious tone, Noah says, "Dead or not, at least you'll be home where you belong."

Kayla, Noah, and Jolly were lounging on the couch, munching on some greasy take-out that Noah had ordered from the nearest pizza place. While Jolly was engrossed in the latest episode of Bob's Burgers, Kayla was shooting daggers at him with her eyes.

She couldn't stand the sight of him, acting like nothing was wrong, like he wasn't the reason her best friend wasn't living with them anymore.

Noah noticed his girlfriend's glare and chuckled softly, nudging her elbow with his. "Chill," he whispered in her ear.

"NO!" Kayla shouted, startling both Noah and Jolly. She slammed her food on the coffee table and turned to face Jolly with a furious expression. "I'm sick and tired of pretending like everything is fine. I want my friend back, and if this is what it takes to make you use your brain, then so be it!" She pointed an accusing finger at Jolly, who looked confused and scared. "You need to go get y/n back right now or get on the next flight to Sweden because I can't stand having you around. You make me so mad, both of you, pretending you don't care about each other. She's depressed as shit living there with her fuckin awful family, but she'd rather stay there than come home because of you!" She roughly gets off the couch and storms out of the room, heading for the stairs. "You're such an idiot," she yelled over her shoulder at Jolly.

Noah raised his eyebrows and bit his lip to stop laughing as he saw Jolly's dumbfounded face. Jolly put down his food and looked at Noah with a puzzled expression. "What did I do?" he asked innocently.

Noah shrugs and says, "I think it's more of what you didn't do…"

Kayla comes back down the stairs, holding her food in her hands. She glared at Jolly one more time and flipped him off, then walked out of the room. "Buy the damn ticket!" she screamed from the hallway.

Noah heard the door slam and shook his head. "Well," he said, standing up and grabbing his food. "There's your answer. Bring y/n home."

"How am I supposed to do that?" He loudly asks.

"I don't know but you need to figure it out, Kayla might actually kill you in your sleep."

You grab your coat and head for the door, feeling a sense of excitement and anticipation for the day ahead. You were going hiking with your sister and her husband, and you couldn't wait to explore the great outdoors with them. As you glance at the clock, you groan in annoyance, realizing you're running late again. You can't help but wonder why you're always so disorganized and frazzled.

You pull the door open, taking a deep breath of fresh air as you step outside. Suddenly, you're nearly choking on air as you see a familiar face staring back at you. Jolly stands there with a backpack over his shoulder, his long hair draped over his shoulders, and a black backward hat covering the top of his head. He's dressed in black skin jeans and a deep red plaided flannel, looking effortlessly stylish and cool.

Your shock disappears as quickly as it came, replaced by annoyance at the sight of Jolly. You can't help but feel irritated that he's here, disrupting your plans for the day. You'd be lying if you said you didn't feel a little bitter still.

"Hi." He quietly says, looking from you to the ground, feeling awkward. He hadn't planned what he was going to tell you.

"Can I come in?" he quietly asks.

You nod your head, stepping aside. "I was leaving, but I guess this kind of changes my plans," you say, rolling your eyes. "What are you even doing here?" You say as you follow him to the living room. "I've tried so hard not to think about you; I moved states, Jolly, and now you're at my house. Are you trying to make my life hard?" You don't sit down knowing you're too heated to stay in one place.

Jolly doesn't sit on the couch either. Instead, he sits on the armrest, staring at you with confusion and annoyance; he folds his hands in his lap and allows you to continue. Why was everyone so irritated with him? He didn't know what he did in the first place. "What did I do?" He questions.

You're eyes dart back to him. "You treated me like I was special, OK? I thought I was special to you…then, you go and date other people." You say, running out of breath. "Then I dated other people because I thought you didn't want me and I was right, you didn't care at all, but then I dumped them because all I could think about was you!" You dramatically cover your face with your hands, pacing back and forth. You enter your kitchen and stare out the sliding glass door. Your back facing Jolly as he observes you. "I stayed in your bed the night before I left, and you still let me go."

"I thought you were leaving for a job! I didn't want to be the reason you didn't go!" He whines. "You told me you were leaving for a job."

You still don't turn around to look at him, knowing he was right, "I just thought you'd ask me to stay if you really wanted me."

He stands straight, walking toward you; you feel his hands on your shoulders, spinning you around to face him. His dark eyes scan your face, wishing he wasn't the reason you were upset.

He leans in close, his breath warm on your face. "You were always special to me," he whispers, his voice low and sincere. "I never meant to hurt you. I was just confused and scared. I didn't know how to handle my feelings for you. I was afraid of losing you, so I pushed you away. I never stopped thinking about you. I came here to tell you that. To tell you that I'm sorry. To tell you I need you."

Jolly pulls back slightly, his eyes searching yours for a sign of forgiveness. He gently cups your face in his hands, his thumbs stroking your cheeks. He smiles softly, his eyes shining with hope. "Can you give me another chance?" he asks, his voice pleading.

You feel a surge of emotion, a mix of anger, pain, and love. You want to scream at him, to push him away. But you also want to hug him, to kiss him, to hold him close. You're torn between your head and your heart. You look into his eyes, and you see the sincerity and the regret.

You see the man you fell in love with, the man who made you laugh, the man who made you feel alive. You feel your resolve weakening, your walls crumbling. You lean in and press your lips to his, answering his question with a kiss.

"So I'm bringing you home." He smiles against your lips. Pulling back, his brown eyes search yours, "This long distance thing isn't how I want to start this." he gently kisses your forehead.

You nod knowingly, "I guess we should start packing."

Jolly smiles, running his hand through your hair, "I'm pretty sure Kayla has a timer set."

You giggle. "She is absolutely crazy." You lean up, kissing Jolly again. "But it's why we love her."

He nods in agreement, "Plus she's Noah's problem."

With a cautious glance, you gently push the front door open, hoping no one will notice your arrival and ambush you as soon as you enter the house.

You sneak into the living room on your tiptoes, holding Jolly's hand.

Noah and Kayla are so engrossed in the TV show that they don't even look at you.

You pretend to be nonchalant and sit down on the recliner next to them, giving them a hard stare.

Her eyes widen as she realizes who you are, and she jumps off the couch and runs toward you. You're home! This is fucking amazing!" She screams in your ear. "I was expecting you guys to take more time, to be honest…you both suck at directions. I don't know how you managed to drive all the way back here." She laughs as she releases you from her hug and embraces Jolly instead, "Look at you. I can finally be in the same room as you without being pissed off. I'm so proud of you." She jokes with him. "Wow," She scans the room and sees the three of you together. "So, is it official now? Can we all just admit how stupid the two of you were? I mean, come on, you could have just moved down the street instead of moving two states away." She snuggles up to Noah on the couch. "I'm not going through this again. You guys have to sort things out by yourselves from now on." She says and acts like she's dismissing you.

Jolly chuckles, sitting in the recliner; he grabs you and makes you sit on his lap, catching you off guard.

You shake your head light laughter falling from your lips, "Well, I missed you too, dick."

You lean into Jolly's chest and wrap your arms around him, feeling his warmth and heartbeat. You sigh in contentment and happiness, glad to be home with the people who loved you the most.

#jolly karlsson x y/n #jolly karlsson x you #jolly karlsson one shot #jolly karlsson fanfiction #jolly karlsson fic #jolly karlsson x reader #jolly Karlsson fluff #bad omens fanfiction #bad omens fic

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lemonlamblaura · 5 months

Text

My Huband is the God of Pestilence - chapter 9

Kallamar and Lilybell go on their first date, though it doesn't really become a date until the end, lol. And a certain kitty cat makes his first appearance...

Lilybell was quiet for the rest of the day, and the next day after the trip to the surface. She spoke very little and ate even less. Kallamar was gracious enough to give her time alone, at Trenaty's suggestion. But by that night he was at his wits end.

"I don't know what to do," he told Shamura as they walked about the spider's temple. Even Shamura, bookworm as they were, didn't spend all their time in their study. They checked in on a room from the doorway, filled with spiders weaving, working looms and making lace, all from their own silk. "She barely speaks to me and spends much of her time in her room. I can't make her leave. How do I make her stop? How do I make her speak to me?"

"You cannot force her to do anything, brother, if you want this to end peacefully and keep her devotion," Shamura said, stepping up to a loom to examine the worker's progress. The tiny spider picked up the pace nervously, knowing they were being watched.

"That doesn't help me," Kallamar complained irritably, "maybe another present will help? What do you think?"

Shamura was quiet for a few moments, moving on to the next loom. "I think you are too attached to her. I blame myself for that, as I told you to keep her close to you. There's nothing to be done, now. Even I am not above choosing favorites." They seemed to contemplate something for a second, before walking over to a rack of finished clothing, taking a simple, short blue dress with puffed sleeves off it and passing it to Kallamar. "Perharps a change of scenery is what she needs. She told me when we first met that she would enjoy seeing more of Anchordeep. My advice is to take her for a long walk so she may forget her troubles."

Kallamar took the dress, feeling the soft silk against his fingers. "Thank you, sibling, for listening to my woes. I only wish there was something to be done about her wretched mother..."

"In my experience, those who grasp too tightly to their children are always rebelled against eventually. There is nothing you could have done, so do not dwell on it. She no longer has Lilybell in her clutches; that is punishment enough."

I should probably get up, Lilybell thought, not moving an inch. She couldn't remember the last time she had moved, honestly. She woke up not too long ago and her body was stiff all over, her head facing the window. It looked like a nice sunny day outside. Maybe it would be good to get out. Heaven knows she hadn't left her room much in the last couple of days.

After a few more moments she rolled over slowly and sat up in bed, wincing as some of her joints cracked and her muscles ached from disuse. It took a few more moments before she could stand up and stretch, more joints popping in protest.

As she removed her night gown and pulled on her standard robes, she wondered if Kallamar or Trenaty would come to check on her soon. The squid had a hard time leaving her alone lately, because he knew she was upset. She wasn't doing a very good job being his assistant, was she? Guilty tears formed in her eyes and she sniffled, feeling pathetic. She should have known her mother was up to something. She didn't feel bad about leaving her; she felt worse for her father, who had to stay with her. Before she knew it she was crying again, wiping at her eyes with her sleeves. She should have never bothered to go. Now everything was ten times worse.

When she was done crying, she realized she was a little hungry, so she pulled herself together as best she could and headed out. To her surprise, Kallamar was slumped against the wall beside her room, waiting for her. He shot up as soon as she opened the door.

"Good morning, dear," he said, trying not to look too enthusiastic at seeing her. "Did you sleep well?"

Lilybell just shrugged. "I guess so."

"Good, good. Listen, darling, I have a surprise for you. But first..."

He pulled the dress out from inside his robes and held it out for her. Her eyes widened at the sight of it, and she took it in her hands, feeling the fabric and studying the stitching. "It's beautiful..." she whispered not able to look away. It was one of the most glamorous dresses she'd ever seen (not that she had seen very many).

Kallamar grinned wide, "I'm glad you like it. Don't wear those old robes anymore, darling, they don't suit you. Go get changed, and meet me in the courtyard."

"Why?"

"I told you, it's a surprise. Hurry, now."

Lilybell changed faster than she had in a long time, and ran out to the courtyard, hunger completely forgotten. Kallamar was waiting for her, with a few followers at his side. He appeared to be talking to them, but hushed up when he saw her coming.

"I'm here," she panted, coming up to him, "what's the surprise?"

He smiled down at her. The dress definitely suited her better than those old rags. Not only that, they made her stand out more against the faceless, hooded figures. He would even dare say she looked cute in it. "You told Shamura you wished to see more of Anchordeep, so today we are having a little excursion. We will go as far as you like, and see everything you wish to see."

Lilybell's face slowly lit up as he spoke, and it looked like some of her spark had come back. "Oh, really, Lord Kallamar? Really?" She asked, grinning with excitement.

"Of course. Come along, now. We have the whole day to ourselves."

They left the courtyard, heading into the sand and water, as Trenaty watched them go from the temple. Finding those specific followers had been a chore, but when Kallamar explained that he had something planned for Lilybell, she knew it was worth the effort. They disappeared down a hill, and Trenaty went back into the temple to take care of things...

Cats are easily found in Silk Cradle, being able to adapt to the dark environment and thriving on insect meat and small creatures. A few cats even served Shamura, though they were carefully selected, most being adept warriors and assassins. They mostly kept to themselves, not venturing near others unless they were approached first. Silk Cradle was a dangerous place, after all, and it was better to be careful than dead.

Shamura was interrupted from their studies a feline couple, the mother carrying their baby in her arms. The child, with fur black as coal, looked no older than two years old, and terribly weak.

"Oh, great God of knowledge and wisdom, we seek your guidance," the father spoke, head down out of respect. "Our child has been struck with an illness we have never seen. He is weak, and sleeps almost all the time. We don't know how to heal him. Please help us."

The god regarded the kitten with a knowing stare. They knew the problem, but they would never say it.

There was no cure that they knew of. The child was as good as dead with them. But they could prove useful under the spider's care.

"Please accept my sincerest apologies," said Shamura softly, "your child will pass soon. There is nothing that can be done, even by me."

The look on the parent's faces said without words that they had expected this. Still, their eyes welled with tears, and the mother hugged her baby close.

"An unholy curse has been placed upon him that may only be removed through a specific ritual. After which the body will be lifeless, and will need to be disposed of. I will give you a few moments to say goodbye."

Shortly after, they took the baby from the mothers arms, wrapped in a warm blanket and sleeping soundly. The spider turned to them one final time. "Tell me, what is his name?"

The mother wiped away her tears and choked out, "Narinder."

Just past the courtyard was a small sandy hill that led to a higher point in the ocean, where light was able to filter more freely through the water. Lilybell had no idea what was beyond it, having arrived at the temple from the opposite direction. Climbing the hill, they were met with an array of colour, the likes of which Lilybell had only seen in flower gardens back in the mountains. Corals of all kinds filled the ocean floor, seaweed and algae moving about with the currents. Fish of all kinds swam about, and light cascading down from the surface danced on the corals, making it seem as it they were moving.

Lilybell gasped in amazement, stepping forward, when suddenly the ground shifted underneath her foot, and a large brown stingray swam out from the sand, annoyed at being trodden on. Kallamar took her hand, and they walked among the coral, as he pointed out different varieties.

"Take care not to touch them," he warned, "some are toxic, and some are deceptively sharp. Not to mention many of these corals are likely hundreds, if not thousands of years old."

"Look!" Lilybell cried, watching as a clownfish swam amongst a sea anemone.

"The anemone helps protect it from predators. They sting other fish that get too close, but this little one is protected by a coating of slime."

Kallamar looked to his left and nudged her gently. "See this one?" He asked, gesturing to a peculiar anemone that looked like a tube with feelers at the edge of it. "Watch." He poked one of the feelers with the tip of his finger, and the anemone attempted to close around it. Kallamar pulled his finger away with some resistance, and Lilybell realized it had been stuck to the feeler. "Had my finger been a small fish, it would have been swallowed and devoured."

"That's so cool!" Lilybell touched the anemone herself, and watched the creature close up again. "When I lived on the surface I never knew there was so much stuff living down here. I thought it was a bunch of fish and stuff."

"We have many varieties of fish," Kallamar said, pointing out a small group of fish that were swimming by, their scales glittering in the light. "There is much life here. More than you can ever know."

They continued on, Kallamar telling all about the different varieties of coral around them and answering the many questions Lilybell asked. In no time, Lilybell felt like her old self again, the beautiful surroundings helping to take her mind off what had happened a few days before. Kallamar loved seeing her open up again, smiling down at her happily as she trotted along beside him, looking so lovely, her hand in his. He realized, then, he enjoyed her looking better, and more than that, wearing his gifts. How would she look with expensive jewelry, he wondered...?

After a while, they came to a small clearing, where they stopped for a break. Kallamar ordered the worker's to lay out a blanket, and treats were served. Lilybell was surprised to find cookies, tarts and fruit cake being handed to her on a plate, and she bit into one of the tarts, overjoyed to find it had strawberry filling. As she enjoyed the food, two followers pulled out a recorder and a small harp, and began to play soft music.

"Mmm!" Lilybell exclaimed with her mouth full, pointing to the follower with the harp, "what's that?"

"It's a harp, darling."

Lilybell swallowed the food, "I read about those! It sounds really pretty!"

"You like it? I'll get you one if you want."

"Really?"

"Of course. Anything you want is yours."

Lilybell grinned, shoving more tarts in her mouth, taking in the surroundings. This was such a nice day so far. Kallamar really went all out, nice food, music, a wonderful tour of Anchordeep...

...Wait...

Lilybell slowly stopped chewing as something dawned on her. Nice food, nice music, nice walk, a new dress?

Good heavens. This was a date.

"What's wrong, dear? Is something wrong with the food?"

She finished chewing and swallowed, putting her plate down on the blanket. She wanted to be sure, maybe she had read the situation wrong. "Um, Lord Kallamar... is this a date?"

The musicians missed a note. Kallamar stared at her. "Huh?"

"I mean, if it's not, that's okay, but..."

Oh dear. This wasn't his intention, but now that he thought about it, it was obvious why she thought that. He cleared his throat.

"Do you... want it to be?"

Lilybell fussed with her hair nervously. "I don't know... I've never been on a date before."

He leaned over, "Do you want to know something? Neither have I."

"You're kidding!"

"No. This would be my first date, too."

Lilybell smiled at him. "I guess that makes it okay, then. We both had our first date together!"

Kallamar smiled back. "I'm glad it was with you."

Shamura laid the kitten down on their desk somberly. For a few moments, there was only quiet.

"Come out," Shamura demanded, "I know you have taken over the boy's body. You will not escape me."

Seconds later, something stirred inside Narinder's chest, moved up his throat, and a long, black snake with a blood red eye came slithering out of his mouth. The creature sat upon the kitten, staring up at Shamura.

"You waste no time, Red Crown. Your last bearer has not yet begun to decompose, and you have already chosen another to take on your curse."

The crown only stared back.

"I suppose if the mother and father had not brought him to me, you would have allowed the child to waste away to nothing. Whether you choose this boy or not, he will stay here with me. I suggest you make your decision."

It continued to stare at Shamura, before the eye rolled down to look at Narinder. It slid up the boy's head and formed a crown with two points, settling between his ears. The boy stirred and opened his eyes, and saw the spider looking down at him. But he didn't seem afraid. In fact, it seemed like he had heard everything Shamura had said.

"Greetings, Narinder. I am Shamura. I shall be looking after you from now on."

A few hours later, Kallamar and Lilybell returned to the temple, tired from the long walk. Two supervisors met them at the entrance to the courtyard, looking alarmed.

"Lord Kallamar, an incident happened while you were gone! Strangers came to the temple and tried to force us to denounce you. When we didn't, they threw bombs at the windows and destroyed them!"

Kallamar immediately went back into God mode, wearing a serious expression. "Show me."

The followers showed him the windows in the temple lobby, glass being swept up off the floor by the janitors, and some shallow craters in the floor from where the bombs exploded.

"Do you know who did this? Were they wearing anything to distinguish them?"

"No. They wore simple black cloaks with hoods and did not reveal their faces. Lord Kallamar, some of the followers are worried that this will happen again. What should we do?"

Kallamar thought for a moment, trying not to show his worry. Why would anyone do this? Who would want to do this? Whatever the reason, it seemed like the temple would need protection if he left.

"Is there anyone here with combat experience?" He asked to the followers who had accompanied him and Lilybell.

One follower stepped forward. "I have used a sword before, my lord. I have some experience."

"What is your name?"

"Saleos."

"Saleos, your new job is to find those who can fight and train them. If I must leave the temple again, we need guards to protect everyone."

While they spoke, Lilybell looked around the lobby to see if she could spot Trenaty. She thought the starfish would have welcomed them back, but she was nowhere in sight. Where was she?

#cotl kallamar #kallamar #oc x canon #canon x oc #cult of the lamb

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bitchinbarzal · 2 years

Note

Ooh ooh! #29 and #31 from the prompt lists with luke please! 🫶

lol this ended up a little longer sorry!

You were getting ready for the Devils annual awards night.

Your dress was obviously red along with your lipstick and you were putting the final touches to your hair. You could see Luke watching you from the bed.

You smiled softly at the view in the mirror of him staring at you.

You popped the last pin in your hair and turned to him

“Hey baby, do I look okay?”

He smiled “God just marry me already”

You froze, eyes wide and his matched “Oh shit, did I say that out loud?”

You laughed “Yeah babe”

“Sorry! Ah- yeah you look perfect. Shall we leave?” Holding out his hand for you to take.

The whole night his words played on your mind. While he liaised with sponsors and businessmen you couldn’t help but let your mind take you off into your thoughts.

Thoughts of a life together. You’d been dating since freshman year of college, you’d been beside him through everything.

You’d known each other before college and always had something there but it was never solidified until he got drafted, he called you told you he wasn’t sure he was good enough for this. You assured him he was the best he could be, calmed his nerves.

You were his first phone call when the cameras stopped rolling.

“What’s got you so deep in your thoughts?” Jack’s voice snapped you out of your trance. You smiled bashfully

“Just thinking about something Luke said to me earlier-“

“If he’s said something in a fight tell me, I’ll beat him up for you” you laughed.

“No, no! Not that he um- he told me he wants to marry me”

Jack’s eyes grew and for a moment you regretted mentioning it “Holy shit that’s great! I can’t believe he finally done it!”

“Finally?”

“Well yeah I mean that kids been in love with you for like ever. He asked Q the night he got drafted if he thought you could go the distance to Jersey from Michigan” Jack explained.

Your brows furrowed “But we weren’t together-“

“Which is why he stayed at Michigan for a second year, the organisation were willing to pay him whatever it took to get him out here in twenty-two but he didn’t want to risk ruining your relationship”

Your heart both swelled with love and dropped at the same time. Luke clearly loved you enough to sacrifice so much.

Jack added “All I’m saying is, we would love to have you as a sister y/n. You’re already part of the family you just need the name”

You smiled, silently thanking him then leaving him at the table and walking over to where Luke had just finished a conversation.

Your hand slid over his back and he tucked you in under his arm “Hey baby, you havin’ fun?”

“So much” you replied, leaning on his shoulder.

It was silent for a moment, enjoying each others company when you whispered “I’ll say yes by the way”

He looked down, confused “What?”

“If you ask me to marry you. I’ll say yes”

“Seriously?” “Seriously.”

“God, I love you”

#umich imagine #luke hughes imagine #lulu writes blurbs #luna’s blurb week

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stillfrownyclownlol · 4 months

Note

FROWNY I FINISHED IT.

I don’t even have the words to describe how shocked I am. I don’t even know what to write because the ending genuinely shocked me and it’s not even DONE.

ADAM. PERSEPHONE. THE LEY LINE??? CABESWATER???? RONAN??? THE NIGHT HORRORS??? KAVINSKY??? OH MY GOD MATTHEW?? THER MUM??????? HOLY SHIT.

Okay. Let’s seee if I can get my thoughts to work.

Adam and Persephone are a duo I didn’t see coming but I actually like it a lot. They both give off melancholic vibes you know? I think they understand each other, in some way. The way to redirect the ley line was AMAZING? And Adam finally coming to terms with Cabeswater? He’s the magician?? Honestly love him so much!

Ronan. RONAN. Oh my god Ronan. I don’t even know what to say. He’s gay? I’m pretty sure he’s gay. There’s just so much to say about him really. The way him and Kavinsky have the same dream place — the way he talked to the trees? The way he saw Adam? The way Adam could see him too? The way he just KNEW? The lightning? The rock? ADAM OMG. Anway. Ronan’s night horror was a genuine shock. The way it symbolised his hatred for himself? And once he accepted himself could he finally control his nightmares? UGH. THE WAY HE DREAMT HIS DAD?? THE WAY HE LEARNED WHAT HIS DAD HAD WANTED HIM TO? THE LANGUAGE OF THE TREES??? The battle between Kevinsky’s fire dragon and Ronan’s albino terror? Honestly so cool. Matthew? Like MATTHEW? During the first book I thought the Lynch brothers all despised each other but it’s more like Declan and Ronan hating each other and only doing things for Matthew’s sake. RONAN you are an amazing big brother omg.

Their mum??? She’s back??? The will ???? I’m so shocked I can’t even believe it. I knew they’d do that — of course she’d come back — but still. Also. EXCUSE ME RONAN LYNCH BUT WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUR SECOND SECRET IS ADAM PARRISH? HELLO??? WHAT DOES THIS MEAN??? 🤨🤨🤨

I had to stare at the wall for a good minute because the ending genuinely shocked me. Like. MAURA. WHAT. THE. FUCK. It is one in the morning and I’m not even tired I’m probably gonna start the third book now oh my lord 😭

I’m so happy you introduced this series to me Frowny because now I don’t know what I would be doing right now?? How could I NOT love these guys???? AHHHHHHHHHH.

ALSO WHEN YOU SAID ADAM WOULD GET LOVE SOON I HOPE IT HAPPENS!! I NEED HIM TO BE LOVED.

You're tearing through these omg

YEAHHHH I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN...THE ENDING LEFT ME "...what the HELL-" skdhkajdd and you still have two more books left...🫠🫠🫠

Akdbiwhdosb I love their mentor-student relationship sm they break my heart every time </3

I don't think it's a spoiler but I think in the spin off he does explicitly call himself gay lol. I LOOOOOVE THE FIGHT WITH THE DRAGON AND THE NIGHT CREATURE IT WAS SICK AF. and I love Matthew we'll see him more later <3 he's such a silly guy...

HEHE IDK WHAT DO YOU THINK IT MEANS?? ✨️ (I can't wait for that scene kagdjshdj)

Blue Lily, Lily Blue was CRAZY bro idk what to tell you except you're in for a ride, one time I stayed up till 6am reading 😭

Thank you to my bestie for getting me to read it hihi <3 the raven cycle goes on forever...one day, you'll also recommend it to someone ✨️

And I promise you, Adam will be loved (picks him up) never forget you have been loved :")

#trc #the raven cycle #asks #shuu asks

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st4rfckerz · 8 months

Note

****Ok to the 19 year old virgin with a dildo.*****

I’m 10 years older than you and have been busy in that time. I lost count of my body count, but it’s over 100 for sure so I’ve seen a lot of cock, and most of them aren’t huge. I’ve had all the races and I’ve found that they all have similar sized cocks. Black, white and Latino have like 6-7inches which is fine if he knows how to fuck. I’d say 25% have 8inches and maybe 15% has 9inches. Like 8% are under 6 inches, and I have only come across two 10 inchers out of like 100. I’ve only had sex with one Hawaiian guy and he was tall and built and had a 9 inch. I had sex with a Japanese guy too and he had like a 7 so that whole Asian guys have small dicks thing isn’t true as far as I can tell, but I don’t have a lot of experience with Asians although they’re really attractive. The Hawaiian guy was a mix of Phillipines, Somaoa and pure Hawaiian and his name was Kalani and he had this tattoo on his leg that told the story of his people and it was so hot. His eyes were grey which he said was very unusual and got him beat up when he was little but GOD he was attractive and really great in bed. He made me cum so many times I thought he broke me. Lol. Most guys don’t make you orgasm unless they know how to stimulate your clit and make you feel comfortable and beautiful. If you’re uncomfortable, insecure, or unsure about a guy, you won’t be able to reach an orgasm. Men orgasm every time they finish. It’s more physical than mental for them, while it’s equally mental and physical for women I think.

Side story about the Hawaiian guy just cuz I want to tell it- I met him in Las Vegas at a night club when we were there for my friends bachelorette party weekend. I saw him and said he was hot, and I’m very picky and never really single guys out so it got all my friends attention. I had to pee so I left my purse with my friends, and one of their drunk genius asses goes up to him and tells him he needs to return my purse to me and points me out. Thank god he didn’t just steal my purse with everything in it, but he came up and gave it to me and got me a drink and a rose and he came back to my hotel with me and hung out the whole entire weekend.(he was friends with a bunch of famous UFC fighters but none of us had a clue who any of them were, but a few of my friends got with some of those guys.) He was supposed to go back to Hawaii, but he asked if he could just hang with me a few days, and I told him I lived across the country and he bought a ticket to my hometown and ended up staying a week, and then came back a couple times and I went to Hawaii one time with him, and he didn’t want me to get on the plane but I was an idiot and didn’t say I love you too when he said he loved me. I said thank you and then got on the plane. he never spoke to me again and I was stubborn and didn’t call him after I tried a couple times and gave up.

Back to the cock talk. Length isn’t as important as the thickness unless it’s over 7 inches and hits your cervix. That shit does not feel good. When a guy hits your wall, it’s painful unless you enjoy pain, which some women like to be smacked and have their hair pulled but I’m not one of them. I’ll smack a motherfucker right back!

Porn isn’t a good gauge of what cocks are like cuz those are all extreme sized. I heard that if you’ve given birth, then you can handle bigger cocks, but I’ve never done that so I cannot verify, but I cannot imagine there’s too much of a difference since your body goes back to what it was before birth. There’s a point where they’re just too damn big.

The hottest guy I ever fucked had this enormous penis and it was terrible. I tried several times and different positions, but his dick was like as big around as a soda can and was like 10 inches. You’re trying to get something close in size of your virgin pussy? That’s gonna be tough, if not impossible. Plus what is the dildo made of? If it’s silicone or rubber, then you need some lube. I cannot stress it enough! Lube is so important. If you don’t have enough anti friction lubrication (natural or store bought) sex is not fun, and can even injure you and your partner.

Penetration isn’t really that important in female masterbation. It’s all about clit stimulation and figuring out what really turns you on. Just because you’re wet, doesn’t mean you cummed. That’s just your vagina lubricating itself in preparation for sexual activity when you’re horny or aroused. You absolutely know when you cum. It’s almost like a really strong finally getting to pee feeling, but in a good way and you don’t pee (unless you’re a squirter, but those are pretty rare) squirters are just what they sound like, when they cum they spray pee and their orgasms are more intense. I’ve squirted before and I think it’s so embarrassing but the guy is always so into it. (Even if you get them right in the face, guys are so gross sometimes)

I suggest getting a smaller dildo, and get one with a clit stimulator. Get one that’s got a plug and is rechargable so you don’t burn through a million batteries. They’re more expensive up front, but save you money in the long run.

You don’t wanna loosen yourself up too much anyway. It feels better for you and him if you’re tighter down there. If he goes down on you, and is considerate your first few times, you’ll be able to take dick in no time.

If he won’t go down on you or is not being careful or considerate, and tries to force it in roughly without you telling him to do so, then just get up and leave. You don’t need to get ripped or torn, or get a bruised internal vagina, or not be able to walk the next day comfortably cuz he’s an asshole. Just abandon ship.

Blue balls are supposedly a real thing but most of my guy friends say they are greatly exaggerated to guilt trip women into doing what they want. They don’t actually experience pain. It’s a scam.

there's nothing i can really add because i've only been with a woman but this is like top tier advice

#nai answers!#st4rfckerz

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e-dubbc11 · 1 year

Note

400 Follower Celebration | Song Lyric Prompts

*You know I'm a sucker for a good song lyric game. XD

Muse: Donald Pierce Song Lyrics: "I turn my back and you're messin' around. I'm not bein' jealous. Don't like lookin' like a clown." -Joan Jett & the Blackhearts ;)

If not that one, then here's another encouraging nudge from yours truly… ;)

Muse: Quinn Mckenna Song Lyrics: Runnin' just as fast as we can, holdin' onto one another's hand. Tryin' to get away into the night and then you put your arms around me and we tumble to the ground and then you say, "I think we're alone now."

LMAO! I couldn't resist. I figure that whole scenario would make for a great getaway scene that could lead to something hot and heavy with Quinn endin' up on top of the other muse or somethin'. LOL! Either way, I have absolute faith in your abilities to tap into both muses, sweetheart! Just have fun with it and go for whatever gets those juices flowin'! Happy 400 Followers, darlin'! *hugs tight and smooches yer cheek* MUAH! <333

DAX!!! Thank you so so much for following me and I know we haven’t had any lately (I’m sorry) but I love our little chats, they always make me smile 😊 I send you all the hugs and smooches right back to ya! ♥️

And thank you for sending in this prompt and being a part of my celebration . I chose Pierce for this one (maybe I’ll do Quinn too at some point) but I wanted to get this one out for you. But please be gentle, this is my first time writing for him. I hope you like it ♥️

I Hate Myself for Loving You

Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google.

Pairing: Donald Pierce x F! Reader

Warnings: A swear word or two, bit of angst, fluffy bunnies and unicorns

Word Count: 2k-ish

Summary: Your new job at Alkali-Transigen has you crushing on the head of security

A/N: This is my first time writing for Pierce, I hope I did an ok job. Thank you for reading!

You accepted the job at Alkali-Transigen because it was the only place willing to hire you with little laboratory experience but you also hoped it would be temporary. You were very familiar with what they did there.

Yes, they were mutants but they were children. They didn’t have families, they grew up inside the facility, treated like science experiments, and were designed to be used as weapons.

But they were just kids and they deserved to grow up in a place where they could just be…kids, not in a holding room or being watched by armed guards outside their rooms.

Even though you didn’t work directly with the kids, you did everything you could to make them feel like someone cared like by bringing them candy, little toys, coloring books, and crayons.

You just felt bad for them and always wished you could do more.

Donald Pierce was head of security and leader of a militant group called the Reavers and when you saw him on your first day at Transigen, you were smitten even though you knew you shouldn’t be. Everyone told you to stay away from him but you didn’t listen.

You had heard he dated a couple of the nurses at Transigen that didn’t end well. And he was also the one they sent out to bring back anyone that tried to run, so you did your best to keep your head down and do the job you were hired to do.

Temporary…it’s only temporary.

He found you working on a Saturday morning in the lab, finishing up some paperwork you didn’t get done the day before.

“Oh…I’m sorry, darlin’. I didn’t know anyone else was here.” He said.

God, his accent was sexy. You played it cool though.

“Oh it’s alright, Mr. Pierce. I’m just finishing up and I’ll be leaving soon, if you need me out faster I can just—“ You stated before he cut you off.

“Now, now I didn’t say you had to leave. You just took me by surprise, is all. That’s not easy to do either. And Mr. Pierce is too formal for someone like me, so please call me Donald or Donnie is fine too. It’s nice to meet you Miss…” He trailed off.

You were hypnotized by his sly smile and southern charm but you snapped out of your trance long enough to answer him.

“Oh! It’s y/l/n…y/f/n y/l/n. I just started a month or so ago.”

One side of his mouth curled up into a slight smile.

“Oh no, I remember. You had your hair pulled back in a low bun that day and I noticed you had a little skull and crossbones pin on your lab coat there.” He said. “As you can see, I’m a fan of the skull and crossbones also.” Chuckling a little, he pointed to the tattoo on his throat.

His memory was impressive. There were a lot of new hires that started that day and he remembered you.

“You have a good memory Mr. Pierce.” You said, completely forgetting that he said it was alright you call him by his first name.

“Well, I never forget a pretty face.” He said with a warm smile, flashing his gold tooth.

Heat rose to your cheeks and warmth spread across your chest as you felt yourself turn different shades of red which is when he asked you to go out for a drink with him. It was the first of many dates with Donald Pierce.

He definitely did not look like Prince Charming, however he could be VERY charming and sweet. That slight southern drawl when he’d call you “sweetheart” or “baby,” made you weak in the knees. The bad boy type always enticed you, gripped you tightly and never wanted to let go and Donnie was no exception.

It was difficult to explain why you were attracted to a guy who had a mechanical arm, a throat tattoo, and a gold tooth but he really was handsome and his bad boy persona made him irresistible to you. He couldn’t be all bad though, could he?

But you weren’t the only one who found his bad boy image irresistible.

It seemed like everywhere you went together, women found Donnie attractive and they never tried to hide it either but what really upset you was when he would flirt back. Who knows what he did when you weren’t around. Maybe you were starting to regret not taking the advice from your co-workers, they did warn you after all.

You wondered if any of them had developed deeper feelings for Donnie so they hated seeing him with you and you hated the fact that you might be in love with him. Was he husband material? Or were you just having fun?

He hasn’t said what his feelings are toward you either so maybe it was just a fling and that’s why he flirted with other women. There was never talk of being exclusive and Donnie did seem like the guy you used as a fling between boyfriends rather than being an actual boyfriend.

He seemed to really like you too though.

“You haven’t run screamin’ for the hills yet but I’m not exactly the kinda guy you bring home to meet mom, ya know? The things Transigen has asked me to do…you don’t know the half of it, sweetheart. But I have to be a strong leader and I relay the orders I get to the Reavers. I can’t appear weak. I’m just not a good guy. I promise you, I do my best not to hurt them when I bring them back after they run.” He told you.

“I know the kind of work you do. I tell myself that ‘it’s just his job, it’s not all that he is’. You’re not a bad guy, Donnie.” You told him.

It scared you to think of telling him how you actually felt about him. He said he was surprised that you didn’t even flinch a little when he touched his mechanical hand to your skin. It was something that he was always a little ashamed of and it surprised you that he actually shared that with you.

“I’m not whole, darlin’.” He had said.

You had touched his mechanical hand, held it in yours and told him that it was just a part of him. It didn’t make him any less of a person in your eyes but he worried. He worried about hurting you, if he gripped your skin too tightly there wasn’t any sensation in his hand so he didn’t know how much pressure he was applying.

“I know you’d never hurt me, Donnie. You never have.” You had said.

But that was a lie.

True, he had never hurt you physically but emotionally, it hurt to watch him flirt with other women though and more than you cared to admit to. It wasn’t necessarily jealousy, it was just humiliating.

And it all boiled over one night when you met him out for dinner and drinks at your favorite local bar. Earlier on the phone, he said he was having a rough day and that he just wanted to relax with dinner and drinks with “his girl.”

As you stepped into the crowded bar, you scanned the crowd for Donnie and found him sitting at a low table in the dimly lit bar area. A wide smile stretched across your lips as you got closer to him but that smile disappeared when you saw the beautiful blonde in a short tight dress sitting across from him.

“There she is. Hey baby.” He waved and turned to the blonde and said, “you’re in her seat, darlin’.”

Your cheeks flamed with anger and your tightly clenched fists rested at your sides with your knuckles showing white.

You couldn’t take it anymore.

“Ya know what? I’ll go. You can have dinner with “legs” here.” You said, turning on your heels and heading for the door.

You heard him call out after you.

“Baby wait! Y/N!”

Suddenly, you felt cold hard metal wrap around your wrist and then your body was being pulled into the coat closet.

“Let go of me, Donnie…NOW!” You yelled.

He shook his head and pressed his lips together in a straight line before saying, “No, I’m not letting go until you tell me what the hell that was all about, sweetheart.”

He gazed down at you with his sky blue eyes, standing close enough to you that you were sharing the same air and because he was holding onto you with his mechanical arm, he couldn’t feel how hot your skin was from the pent up anger you’ve been holding on to for awhile now.

“I don’t like lookin’ like a fool, Donald! How do you think that makes me feel when you flirt with other women like that? And that’s not the first time!” You said, sternly.

Still holding onto your wrist, he replied, “They flirt with me, baby. I don’t wanna be rude. Are ya jealous?” He asked calmly.

“I’m not jealous, I’m embarrassed and I am mad at you and I hate myself for it because it’s not like we’ve ever talked about being exclusive or anything, so I know I don’t really have any right to be angry or jealous but...” You said trailing off with tears burning the back of your eyes and turning away from him so he wouldn’t see the tears that were about to spill over and streak down your cheeks.

He let go of your wrist and with his other hand turned your head toward him and tilted your chin up so you were looking into his eyes.

“Baby, I don’t want you to feel that way. Why would you say that you hate yourself?” He asked.

You inhaled sharply before letting out a long exhale.

“Because…I’ve fallen for you, Donnie.” You whispered. “And I’m afraid you don’t feel the same way because of the way you are always flirting with other women in front of me.”

Your tears had spilled over.

“Well, number one that’s no reason to hate yourself, I am pretty easy to fall for. It’s the accent isn’t it.” He said with a smug smile on his face as you rolled your eyes. But his tone changed as he said, “I really don’t mean to flirt back, I am just tryin’ be polite, darlin’ but I’ll do better because…I’ve fallen for you too, Y/N.” He said, brushing the tear away from your cheek.

Shaking his head, he said. “I don’t hear the L-word very often. But that is what you meant, right?”

You snaked your arms around his neck and gave him a warm smile.

“Yes Donnie, that’s what I meant.” You said and gently pressed your lips to his. “I do love you, ya know when you’re not sitting with hot blondes in tight dresses.”

He let out a little laugh.

“Your ass is the only one I wanna look at in a short tight dress. I love you, sweetheart.” He said.

You pulled him into a tight embrace and Donald winced in pain.

“Easy darlin’, I got shot today.” He said with a slightly wicked smile.

Your mouth dropped as you lifted his shirt and saw the bloody bandage on his oblique but it didn’t look bad.

“Is this what you meant earlier when you said you had a ‘bad day!!?’” You asked with concern in your voice.

He captured your lips again, his were warm and firm as his tongue parted your lips to tangle with yours. The bristles of his beard lightly tickled your cheeks, causing you to giggle. His mechanical hand gripped your waist tightly, pulling you flush with him while his other hand tangled in your hair.

He winked and gave you a sly smile, showing off his gold tooth. “It’s just a flesh wound, baby. C’mon, I’ll tell ya all about it over dinner.”

Tagging: @munsonownsmyass @ilovewhiteroses (I know you ladies love Boyd also) feel free to ignore 🤣

#ericca’s 400 follower celebration #lovely friend Dax #donald pierce #donald pierce x reader #logan 2017

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jinlizz-dragondrama · 1 year

Text

A/N Sorry for the late chapter update with my birthday and fathers Day I was a bit busy. Also, I'm pregnant I have 9 more weeks until my little one is here so I was also busy with the nursery. Hopefully, now that I'm not as busy I'll continue pushing out chapters. Enjoy 💜

Chapter 5

Victory

Y/N POV

The bright and early sunrise starts to seep through the blinds of my room. Groaning, I try to seek shelter under my blankets, but not even they could shield me from the powerful sunbeams. I looked at my phone to check the time, and it was 7 a.m., rubbing the sleep out of my eyes and thanking the gods that it was the weekend. I have a couple of hours before the "tryouts" for the swim team, deciding to get out of bed and take a quick shower to freshen up. Once I'm finished I put on my bra and panties, with black shorts and a purple tank top. Opening up my blinds I look outside, noticing the busy street full of taxis, buses, and rows of cars, placing my hand under my chin and resting it on the windowsill. My phone rings, I jump and scramble to grab it, seeing it's a text from Donnie, several texts from Cass and my dads asking where I was. Quickly shooting Cass and my dads a text letting them know I'm at the safe house and that I'll be trying out for the swim team. Cass messages me back telling me I'll def get in and that she'll be busy with training most of the day and won't be able to message me til later tonight. Papa Brutus messages back saying he's glad that I'm ok and wishes me good luck. I then go to Donnie's message while smiling brightly and text him back.

Donnie: Good morrow Y/N I hope you had a restful night's sleep.

Me: Indeed I did, what are you doing up this early?

Donnie: I can ask you the same thing

Me: Well I asked first, so answer the question

Donnie: Fine, Alas with me working in my lab I'm known for staying up late and only going to sleep if it's necessary. But a good cup of black coffee helps me stay awake.

Me: Ah I see. Your coffee order is easy to remember. Now I think sleep is very important gotta keep the mind fresh.

Donnie: Yea, you sound like my brothers always telling me to take a break, but with a mind like mine it never sleeps.

Me: Well maybe I can change that

Donnie:...

Me: What I mean is show you the perks of sleeping...maybe make it an experiment of sorts.

Donnie: You had me at an experiment

Me: Now as to why I'm awake Well the sun is my worst nemesis and I have a Swim tryout today.

Donnie: Well once you're done maybe you can come over

Before I can text back I get another couple of texts from him in quick secession.

Donnie: April will be there.....

Donnie: You don't have to come

Donnie: But everyone has been asking about you, especially Leon

3rd Person POV

Donnie cringes when he types his twin's name, it would seem Leon has a special interest in Y/N and Donnie has no idea how to feel about it. He's been asking questions nonstop about Y/N, so he's been holed up in his lab avoiding him, trying to work on something anything to shove down these feelings/emotions. Researching was no help at all. He pulls himself from the depths of his overthinking brain and sees that Y/N has messaged back.

Y/N: Sure, once I'm done with tryouts I'll pop over.

Y/N POV

After I send the text I grab my black gym bag that's covered in stickers and iron on logos. Stuffing a bathing suit in, with water shoes, a wallet, a book I've been trying to finish, a Swim cap, goggles, and shoving my phone in my surprisingly deep butt pocket in my shorts. (LOL shorts pockets are never deep enough for a phone) Putting the strap over my shoulder and slipping into my rollerblade sneakers. I give Cass a quick call letting her know what I'm up to I walk out the front door lock it, and clinking my heels together I rollerskate to the school, letting the security guard know I'm here for the tryouts he lets me through and gives me directions to the pool. I make my way to the pool, it seems to be a good turnout of students some I've seen in passing in the hallway and some I haven't seen at all. I write my name on the rooster book, and a male and female coach gets our attention letting us know that we should change into our suits and that the boys will be on one side of the pool while the girls will occupy the other. Quickly changing into my f/c one-piece suit and putting on my goggles, I expertly stuff all my hair into my XL swim cap, jumping into the pool I swim over to the girls and await instructions. Each girl takes turns swimming 2 laps of each stroke style; backstroke, breaststroke, butterfly, and freestyle. When it's my turn I easily complete each stroke with precision and grace, without the use of my elemental powers. Being in the water is so relaxing and calming for me and swimming is just a plus, if I could live in the water I would.

After everyone is finished with the "warm up" as the coach called it we were given a partner to swim against. I was partnered with a shorter sweet looking girl who shyly waved at me and I returned the wave. Quickly introduced ourselves and jumped into the pool to do a quick freestyle 50-meter swim. (50 meters is going from one end of the pool, touching it, and swimming back to the end you started at). We step onto the small diving boards and the coach yells out

"Get into position!"

"Take your mark" We pull our bodies forward but not far enough to fall off the diving board while using our strongest foot to ground us. The horn is blown and we push ourselves straight into the water. I hear the splash I make and the gurgling of the water as it envelopes me in its cool embrace. With my arms out in front of me and moving my feet and legs in a mermaid-like fashion under the water, holding my breath until I have to come up for air, I start to do the freestyle stroke. Turning my head to the side to breathe I can see the girl is far behind me, but I continue to swim, once I get to the end of the pool I flip over under the water, facing the way I came, pushing off the wall of the pool with my feet and blowing air bubbles out from my nose so they wouldn't fill with water I continue my swim until I make it back to where I started. I take off my goggles and stay in the pool to catch my breath, waiting for my swim partner to finish and to catch my breath. When she reaches the side I'm on we high-five each other and climb out. Grabbing my towel I dry myself off and soon everyone is finished, the coaches congratulate us on being on the team and how excited they are to see how much we will improve as the season goes on. Even though the tryouts were just to see everyone's swimming skills and potential everyone made the team.

Changing back into my street clothes, I text Cass, Donnie, and my papas that I'm on the team. I get congratulations from each of them except Cass but I know she'd flip if she was able to read it. Donnie messages me that he will meet me at the school with April and walk me to his family's place. As soon as I exit the school grounds I see a familiar purple hoodied figure and a green letterman jacket wearer right next to him. I quickly make my way over and shout out to them.

"Hey, guys!" I say cheerfully

"What up gurl! Heard you made the team!" April said

"Yea it was no biggie" I reply as we start making our way down the street. When we are out of earshot of anyone Donnie pipes up and says.

"I guess we will have to see who is the better swimmer, seeing as I'm a turtle and all," he said smugly

"Is everything a competition with you Donnie?" April retorts

Donnie just shrugs and puts his arms behind his head as he continues to walk. I roll my eyes and follow the duo to a pizza shop. April and Donnie grab the huge stack of pizza boxes and we make our way down an alley. I'm not as concerned as I should be given I'm going down an alley that's filled with dumpsters and trash. Definitely something out of a horror film, we stop by a manhole that is easily lifted by Donnie with one hand while balancing the pizza boxes. April climbs down the ladder without hesitation and I peek down at her while she waves up at me.

"After you M'lady" Donnie says while smirking at me

I jump down, but slip on some sludge landing on my butt with an "oomph". Donnie tries his best to hold back his laughter but a chuckle slips through his snout as he jumps down to join us. When I stand up and dust myself off I give him a playful nudge that was hard enough to make him stumble a bit and for a split second lose his balance on holding the boxes. Leaving him behind I follow April til we get to a steel door which is opened by her with quick taps on the keypad. We walk in and I couldn't help but be in complete shock as to what I see a whole underground garage where a turtle shell-shaped tank was located, I continue to follow April we reach another steel door and April types another code in and slowly creaks open. I'm welcomed by two brothers Mikey and Leo skateboarding on their half pipe, walking over I lean over a railing and watch them. Leo is the first one to see me and he expertly jumps off his skateboard and his board lands in his hand while looking at me smugly.

"Well, looks who's finally decided to show up!" Leo says

*Gasp* "Oh Me Gosh Y/N and April are here," Mikey says excitedly

Donnie clears his throat from behind the pizza boxes.

"Oh and Donnie is back," Leo says sarcastically.

Donnie scoffs and makes his way through another set of tunnels, we follow and enter a living room filled with bean bags and a couch. Their Dad Splinter has parked his butt right in front of the projector screen, he looked quite comfy in his lazy boy recliner and is watching an interesting-looking show while laughing loudly. Donnie goes to the kitchen to put the pizzas down on the counter. Mikey comes up to me and smiles happily. The turtles congratulate me on making the swim team and give high 3's.

"While dad watches his show care to play a game of Mario Cart"? He asked

"I've never played before...." I say shyly

"WHAT," All turtles and April said in unison

I turn to see the huge turtle standing in the entranceway to the TV room looking shocked at my statement.

"Well, we better change that," April said while grabbing my hand and pulling me towards their arcade room where several gaming consoles are hooked up. April grabs the controllers for the Nintendo Switch but one was grabbed from her hand by the blue turtle.

"Me thinks we should rock, paper, scissors and see who gets to beat the new girl first" Leo stated while bouncing it lightly in his hand.

Donnie returned from putting the pizzas down but brought one box with him.

"Well how about a little wager to make this interesting, whoever wins gets the first and last slice of pizza," he says while twirling the pizza on one finger but almost drops it and instantly catches it

"Sounds fair, I'm game," I say

Mikey and Leo play rock, paper scissors, and Leo wins, Mikey pouts a little. Then Leo and Raph play and Leo wins that round, April, and Leo have a go but it's a tie, then Leo wins best out of three. Lastly is Leo and Donnie, I couldn't help but feel the tension in the room rise. Both brothers glare at each other and I could swear I heard some cowboy showdown music....which April was playing from her phone. I couldn't help but laugh. It was an intense battle each time it was a tie and soon we didn't see an end to this, so I interjected saying.

"Since you guys want to get your butts beat so bad. I'll just play against the two of you"

That seemed to calm down the tension and I sit on a bean bag in front of the TV with a controller, Leo cuts Donnie off and gets the second controller, smugly looks at Donnie, and starts the game. Donnie rolls his eyes and folds his arms across his plastron. Mikey sits next to me with his legs crossed and gives me pointers and somehow I win. I flail my arms about in glee, giggling happily and accidentally letting out a snort. I blush profusely and everyone around me laughs as well, except Donnie who slightly blushes from hearing my cute little snort but hides his blush by covering his face with his palm. After he recovered Donnie takes Leo's place in the beanbag, and he changes his face to his emotionally unavailable bad boy image face (iykyk 🤪).

"You ready to lose?" He said confidently

I look over at him with a quirked eyebrow and it seemed like my purple eyes glowed with a mischievous gleam.

"Oh I think you'll be the one losing" I counter

"Scoff, the probability of that happening is like 1%," he said while rolling his eyes

"Well that means I still have a chance"

We start the game and it's an intense round we are neck and neck but I luckily pick up a blue spiny shell and toss it towards Donnie's character which knocks him back, crossing the finish line in victory.

I look over at the stunned purple turtle and smile.

"You were saying?"

Unable to utter a single word, Leo in his stead hands me the pizza box while chuckling at his brothers reaction and I take the first slice of pizza, the cheese pull was a sight to behold. April takes a quick pic of this moment and laughs at Donnie's face. Donnie snaps out of his shock and a small smile appears on his face. The rest of the day goes off without a hitch at least until I let slip that I never saw a Jupiter Jim or a Lou Jitsu movie which started a whole Splinter pulling out all the Lou Jitsu movies, Raph grabbing the Jupiter Jim movies and a lecture with Donnie using the projector to get his point across as to how these movies are some sort of right of passage. We start watching the Jupiter Jim movies which I'll admit were pretty alright, I watch intently while snacking on popcorn and pizza. Soon April is asleep snuggled up next to me on the bean bag, Leo and Mikey are snoring on the couch, Raph is sleeping soundly on the floor and Donnie is typing away on his tech gauntlet, in a bean bag next to me, the blue hue from the screen illuminating his face. I blush slightly at how handsome the lightning makes his features look. I grab the last slice of pizza and as I'm taking a bite, Donnie says quietly

"Don't get used to it, my calculations next time will be correct."

"I look forward to it" finishing the slice and slowly start dozing off. My head gently lands on Donnie's shoulder, he jumps from the sudden contact, looking up from vis gauntlet he sees my peaceful sleeping face. Grumbling quietly to himself he tries his best not to move and graciously allows my head to rest there. Later on when everyone wakes up they see our sleeping figures, with my head still on his shoulder and his head on mine, April takes a pic while quietly laughing and Leo asks her to send it to him. He will definitely use this as blackmail later. (Donnie voice "Evil Laugh!!")

#rottmnt donatello #rottmnt x reader #rise donatello #rottmnt #rise donnie #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt fanfiction #donnie x reader #donatello x reader

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