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thebiggerbear · 7 months ago

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thebiggerbear Main Writing Masterlist

Call My Name (Soldier Boy) - Grace Mallory, the Boys, and the government have all warily agreed to your plan to take down Homelander. There’s just one more person to add to the operation, the very person who is necessary for any measure of the plan’s success. Can you convince him to join the team and help you defeat Homelander once and for all?

Keep Me Inside (Soldier Boy) - When you took a job at Vought International to pay the bills, you never could have imagined just how much your life was about to change. Especially when you catch the eye of a certain Supe. [AO3]

Only Ever Holding Onto You (Beau Arlen) - When Beau Arlen called and asked you to join him at the Lewis & Clark County Sheriff’s Department, you knew you should have turned him down. Sure, he made a great case for your relocation, but it was the sound of his voice that had you putting in for an immediate transfer. After all, he was worried and needed you; how could you say no? Yet, the more time you spend in Big Sky Country, the more you wonder if you should have stayed in Houston.

The Ghosts Are Coming For You (Beau Arlen) - When you moved to Montana, you figured you’d be in for a much quieter, more slow-paced lifestyle compared to the big city one you had left behind. Meeting Lewis and Clark County’s youngest sheriff while working a string of murders in your new position in Homicide turns out to be anything but — especially when things start to hit a little too close to home and remind you of things you thought you’d left buried long ago. [AO3]

Closer (Russell Shaw x Female!Reader) - Now that Russell knows the truth about you, there isn’t anything he won’t do to try to get you out. Even if it means he might have to move up the timeline of his exit strategy earlier than planned. [AO3]

Follow Me Into the Dark (Dean Winchester) - Tragedy has struck in your life, quickly and without warning, leaving you completely devastated. As if that wasn’t bad enough, Dean Winchester rolls into town and he and his brother are starting to ask questions. Questions that you are not prepared to answer though you have a question of your own: just what the hell is Dean doing darkening your doorstep again? [AO3]

i need your hand but i don't want to burn it (Beau Arlen) - You receive a phone call letting you know a family member has passed. The news rocks your world, especially when you find yourself flying back home for the services, returning to a place you’d rather forget. As your best friend, Beau is trying to be there for you but you’re determined to go it alone. But since you’ve known him, when has Beau Arlen ever not had your back?

i want better for you...what's better for you than me? (Jensen Ackles RPF) - Your heart is broken and you’re currently going through a divorce that didn’t have to happen. Will you give Jensen the chance to explain everything that came about from that one night in Rome when you weren’t there? [AO3]

Nothing But Killing Time (Alec McDowell) - Manticore has recaptured you and this time, you've been assigned a breeding partner. From the moment you meet, it's evident that neither you nor X5-494 have anything in mind other than a means of escape. Can you two come up with a plan together to break out and reclaim your freedom? Or will Manticore come between you and shatter the fragile trust you've built? [AO3]

Their Silent Thunder Matches Mine (Beau x Cassie) - After a night of drinking and her walls coming down, Cassie makes a decision that could have repercussions on both of her friendships with Beau and Jenny. [AO3]

You Know What You're Here For (Multiple Pairings - Big Sky) - Sometimes the pace in Helena slows down and when it does, other things can happen. (aka I came in and smutted up the place in Big Sky) [AO3]

Close Enough (Russell Shaw) - When you’d met the Shaws at the morgue the day before, you thought that had been the end of it and you wouldn’t need to see one Shaw brother in particular again. Little did you know that Colter was about to once again ask for your help and not only would you be forced to see Russell again but things were about to change drastically for the both of you.

Come Pick Up Your Ghosts (Jensen Ackles RPF) - Jensen left a little…something behind on his last visit when he was in town. Something you are urgently asking him to come back and retrieve so you can know peace once more. [AO3]

Giving In (Character x Reader) - You’ve finally given in to what you’ve wanted all this time but will it be enough?

i think i've seen this film before (Jensen Ackles RPF x Reader) - When three certain little words escape him, you know them for what they are: a plea not to leave him alone with only his thoughts and whiskey for company. You’ve seen this song and dance before.

i won't let you go (CJ Braxton) - When Jen breaks CJ’s heart, though you hadn’t planned on it, her loss quickly becomes your gain and so much more. [AO3]

Let Me In Or Let It Drown (Rebecca Jessel) - A missing moment between Rebecca and Peter once Viola’s spell was broken and all of the souls at Bly Manor are free [AO3}

Let Me Set Your World on Fire (Michael!Dean) - While on a hunt, you all get stuck in an abandoned cabin in the woods due to a snowstorm that comes out of nowhere. It’s cold as hell (Cas’ fact checking not withstanding) and both you and Dean are trying to fight off the icy temperatures. When Cas offers his coat to Dean, in usual Michael fashion, the archangel offers you something bigger and more to his liking than a simple article of clothing to keep you warm.

Moving Forward Little By Little (Bobby Reyes) - You knew you shouldn’t have let him in that first night he showed up with alcohol in hand to talk about Jamie. But you had and now your partner never fails to show up at your door. The bad thing is, you don’t really want him to stop though you know you should. [AO3]

Off Limits (Russell Shaw) - When Reenie sends you to assist Colter with whatever he needs after getting arrested for breaking into a morgue in Virginia, you meet his older brother Russell for the first time. There’s some flirting and definitely a mutual attraction there before you Colter sends you off. Little do you know at the time that Colter has warned Russell that you’re off limits and that Russell has no intention of listening to said warning.

So Close (Russell Shaw) - You meet Colter and Russell at the morgue to help them gain access. Had you known how this was really going to go, you might have pushed Colter’s call to voicemail.

Something Like This (CJ Braxton) - A Nor'easter hits Boston and luckily for you, you don’t have anywhere you need to be except right here, snuggled up with CJ.

Something Real (Soldier Boy) - You had offered him the chance for something the two of you could build, something real, if he gave up the suit for good.

Thankful (Soldier Boy) - It’s Father’s Day again and you have an extra special present for Ben this time around.

where all the dreamers go (Beau x Cassie) - When Beau asked Cassie to speak with him outside alone for a minute, she had no idea just where that conversation would lead and what she would be agreeing to. [AO3]

You Didn't See That Coming? (Pietro x Wanda) - Wanda had never known pain like thia. After everything she and Pietro had endured, why did this have to happen? [AO3]

you taught me the courage of stars (Dean x Castiel) - (15x18 AU) When Chuck snaps his fingers, Dean figures that’s it. Everything they had worked hard to avoid, everything they had fought for, everyone they had lost along the way, Sam, Jack, Cas – this is the end. They had lost. Or had they?

"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that." (Alec McDowell) - You’re looking for a way to set yourself up and blend in after breaking out of Manticore. Having heard the rumors, you seek out Max for help. In doing so, you come across someone you had never thought you’d see again.

"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that." (Anael) - Anael calls you to pick her up after she leaves Cas back at the Emporium. Having just come off of a rough hunt, you’re really not that inclined to be at the angel’s beck and call.

"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that." (Beau Arlen) - He put you with Hoyt and Tonya. For the day. What the hell had he been thinking?

"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that." (CJ Braxton) - You had only meant to call once, remaining anonymous while feeling out the whole helpline thing for yourself. Now, you talk to CJ every Friday night around the same time. When you don’t call one Friday, CJ is worried and comes looking for you which presents its own host of problems.

"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that." (Dean Winchester) - You and Dean refuse to speak to one another after an argument and Sam has finally had enough.

"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that." (Jason Teague) - When another student makes an unwanted move on you, Jason’s not above flexing his assistant coach authority muscle a little to get the guy to leave you alone and send a message.

"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that." (Jenny Hoyt) - You decide to ground Jenny for the day and as expected, she’s pissed…or is she?

"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that." (Rachel Gatina) - Rachel, who has never spoken to you before, approaches you to ask for a favor. Despite what Bevin said, Rachel decides that she has to gauge this whole “being into girls” thing properly. And she’s picked you to help her with that. …Lucky you.

"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that." (SDV Leah) - Leah tells you she wants a baby…a month after you’ve been married.

"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that." (Soldier Boy) - You’re pissed that he put himself at risk yet again.

"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that." (Tom Hanniger) - You went to visit Tom in the mines for a little Valentine’s Day fun. Who knew that one decision would lead to everything that’s happened? Will you be able to help Tom or will he be lost to you forever?

"I took care of that asshole for you." "I don't like the sound of that." (Soldier Boy) - When Ben mentions something to you in the middle of battle, your attempt at a little levity turns the conversation in a direction that probably would have been better kept off of Comms during a mission.

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Heartbreak (Beau x Cassie) - Jenny is witness to the first Christmas Beau is in Montana and spends at Cassie’s [AO3]

Kiss Me Again (Beau x Cassie) - where trying to sneak around isn’t necessarily Beau and Cassie’s strong suit as they come to find out [AO3]

Masks (Dean x Castiel) - where the Winchesters are attempting to get lunch during the pandemic & Jack finally works up the courage to ask for a dog

Nerves (Beau x Cassie) - where Beau’s nerves are making themselves known & Cassie decides to intervene [AO3]

"Sleep. I'll keep you safe." (Anael) - Anael is not happy that you’ve agreed to help the Winchesters with their far-fetched plan to destroy Chuck via Jack. She reluctantly accompanies you to the Bunker and this sets events in motion that prompt a conversation between you and Dean on just why the angel is so important to you.

"Sleep. I'll keep you safe." (Beau Arlen) - Your house is broken into one night when Beau wasn’t home and now you find yourself expecting it to happen again at any moment. Will you ever feel safe in your home again?

"Sleep. I'll keep you safe." (Dean Winchester) - When Sam calls to tell you that Dean is gone, you can’t accept it. Not until you visit the offline Bunker and see for yourself. …But is he really gone?

"Sleep. I'll keep you safe." (Jason Teague) - Jason has just helped you escape the clutches of his nefarious mother. Where will you go from here now that you know the truth?

"Sleep. I'll keep you safe." (Jenny Hoyt) - When Jenny is attacked, you couldn’t get to the hospital fast enough. You do what you can to reassure her that her mother will be found while you sit with her, waiting for the doctor.

"Sleep. I'll keep you safe." (SDV Alex) - Alex sees something through your window one night and it scares him silly. You have to explain to him that it’s pretty normal out here on the farm and there is nothing to fear. …Well, you were pretty sure there wasn’t, anyway.

"Sleep. I'll keep you safe." (Soldier Boy) - You’re tired of running and you go to Soldier Boy for protection. He agrees to do it but not without a price.

"Sleep. I'll keep you safe." (Tom Hanniger) - Tom has taken you hostage. This is not the Tom you knew and fell in love with. Unable to escape, can you get him to trust you and maybe even reach him?

"What do you see in him?" "Everything you don't." (Jake Gray) - When you go with Jake to visit his mom, you encounter a young woman who inexplicably sets you on edge and has you sticking that much closer to the boy who has your heart.

"What do you see in him?" "Everything you don't." (Jensen Ackles RPF) - Jensen says something at a con that initially bothers you that prompts a conversation where you admit that there are certain parts of his job that you could easily do without, not sure how that’s going to impact your friendship moving forward.

"What do you see in him?" "Everything you don't." (Soldier Boy) - Hughie and everyone don’t understand what you see in Soldier Boy but they also haven’t seen what you’ve seen: Ben.

when were you going to tell me (Dean Winchester) - After finding out you concealed something from him on a hunt, Dean is not happy with you and he definitely does not appreciate your attempts at humor on the subject.

why are you wearing my sweater (because it smells like you) (Bella x Jacob) - where Jacob gets ready to meet Bella at a bonfire the Pack is hosting and can’t find his hoodie [AO3]

"You're safe now. I'm here." (Russell Shaw) Part 1 - You've been taken hostage and Russell is part of the unit sent in to retrieve you.

"You're safe now. I'm here." (SDV Leah) - When Leah rushes into the house one night and starts fortifying the door, you immediately try to find out what has her so scared.

"You're safe now. I'm here." (Soldier Boy) - Soldier Boy has been on a ton of dangerous missions in his time, fought a lot of battles, but never did he imagine he would be undertaking the one you had just tasked him with. Shit.

*Requests are currently closed*

Upcoming:

SDV Leah (AO3)

Dean | Castiel (Tumblr)

Maggie Greene (Tumblr)

Margaery Tyrell (Tumblr)

Billy Butcher (AO3)

Soldier Boy (Tumblr)

Dean Winchester (Tumblr)

3x07 - After Dell (Beau x Cassie) - where Cassie finds out just how worried Beau was when he saw how close Dell had been to her [AO3]

A Prize Unlike Any Other (SDV Leah) - You may not have gotten the Golden Pumpkin but that’s alright, you got a different prize altogether.

At the Boot Heel (Beau x Cassie) - where Beau and Cassie have a moment (alternate scene from Thunder universe) [AO3]

no one's the new me (Soldier Boy) - Soldier Boy is the OG Supe. You goad him into proving it and get more than you bargained for…or did you?

where is she? (Soldier Boy) - Soldier Boy only has one thought in mind when Homelander wakes him up: you.

Where Were You On Our Wedding Day (SDV Leah) - You decide to go mining the morning of your wedding and Leah is not happy about it.

every king needs a queen (Soldier Boy) - Homelander makes you an offer that you are all too happy to refuse

You Win, Jake (Bella x Jacob) - Scene post-BD where Jacob and Bella compare war stories, playing a game of who wins the supernatural like they used to when comparing life skills for ages [AO3]

Connected Series List - a listing of all works that appears within the same story universe

Fic Requests List

tag list submission form

Or please let me know if you would like to be tagged in any current series or future works.

Taglist: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187; @rieleatiel

book & section dividers by @firefly-graphics

imagines header & support banner by @cafekitsune

#main writing masterlist #thebiggerbear writes

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bullet-prooflove · 2 years ago

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Therapy Sessions- Nick Amaro x Reader

Tagging my girls: @misscharlielulu and @cosmic-psychickitty

Nick didn’t know that you went to the same boxing gym, not until he ran into you late one night. You were in the ring when he entered the building, sparing with his trainer Ezra. You were good, he thought as he hung back and watched. Well-conditioned and disciplined, you rolled easy with the punches you did take. You anticipated Ezra’s moves ducking and sliding with the grace of a dancer. You had been at it for years, he could tell.

Your session was winding down as he approached the ring, his gym bag slung over his shoulder. He set it down in the corner as you stripped off your gloves and placed them on the edge.

“Hey.” He greeted as he lifted one of the middle ropes for you to duck under. You exited elegantly, clasping his hand as he helped you off the podium. “I didn’t know you came here.”

You gave him that smile, the one that stole his breath away as you began to undo the vibrant red wraps that were wound around your palms and wrists. You hadn’t worked together long, just over six months, but he enjoyed spending time with you. You were a breath of fresh air in a job that was plagued with darkness. Being in your presence felt like he was stepping into the sunshine after a long, called winter.

“I didn’t know you did.” You returned, nudging him with your shoulder before stuffing the wraps into your gloves.

“Sometimes I have a little extra energy to burn off after a case. Boxing, it helps me work a few things out in here.” He said tapping his temple.

There was silence for a moment after his disclosure. He didn’t talk about his mental health issues, not really. Benson knew, Amanda had been around for some of the bad shit, but she had no idea he was in counselling, their casual thing had come to an end a couple of years ago and neither wanted to pick it up again. The two of them were toxic together.

“I usually do late nights or early mornings.” You supplied, your attention dropping to the laces of your sneakers.

There was something about the way you said it, the timbre of your words. He detected an undercurrent of shame in the revelation, he knew how your head could get fucked up especially in this job.

“You have trouble sleeping?” Nick asked, inclining his head so that he could study the profile of your features.

After his own experiences he should have been able to read the signs, however he also knew how easy it could be to hide them, to pretend that you were fine, day in and day out until you broke.

“Don’t you?” You returned.

Nick smiled because this was what you did. You believed in an exchange of information. A little give and take. Nick could work with that. The truth was he wanted to get to know you better, you were more than just a colleague to him and as for being friends…

What he felt went far deeper than that. He couldn’t pinpoint when it had started, only that it had. Your presence in his life had changed something and he felt more upbeat, more buoyant. His workdays seemed a little bit brighter, even after the shit he saw.

“The boxing helps.” Nick informed you. “I used to have anger issues. Ended up in therapy, boxing is a good outlet, it helps me channel it.”

He didn’t do this; he didn’t share personal details like this. It always felt too raw to talk about but right now it felt good to get it off his chest. He was showing you a part of himself he wasn’t proud of; it was as honest as he could be with another person.

“I used to drink.” You told him, tilting your head so that you could meet his gaze. “It started after a C.I of mine got shot and then…” You inhaled deeply. “It was a slippery slope. I’ve been working the program for about three years now.”

It made sense. Whenever they went out for a drink you always turned it down, you always had plans. Originally, he thought you had a partner, a boyfriend, or a girlfriend, but you had never mentioned a significant other. He’d been to your apartment a couple of times, when you were carpooling, and he’d seen no signs of a relationship.

“I should have been inviting you out to dinner instead of a drink.” He realised, rolling his eyes up to the ceiling.

“And you call yourself a detective.” You teased, a small smile ghosting across your lips. “It’s not that I’m not interested, it’s just the drinking thing when people find out about it…” You trailed off.

Nick got it, he really did. He hadn’t been easy to live with, he knew that and as soon as people found out about the anger issues, they associated it with violence. They thought he was unpredictable, that that monster inside of him could be unleashed at any moment. That wasn’t the truth, it began with a series of triggers, they were like keys snapping open locks to a cage with a beast inside it. He recognised those triggers now; he knew when things were starting to take a turn and he dealt with them beforehand.

“They judge you.” he said knowingly.

“Yea…”

“I don’t judge you.” he uttered, bumping his shoulder against yours. “You know that right? This job it comes with its own set of problems. If you ever need someone to talk to someone, I’m here for you.”

“Do you need someone to talk to Nick?” You asked him, jerking your head towards the ring. “Isn’t that why you’re here tonight?”

Nick’s dark eyes met yours and he wondered what you saw in them. Did you see the echoes of the cases that haunt him at night? The ones he didn’t catch.

“Yea.” He said, glancing over his shoulder at the boxing ring. “Maybe I do.”

Love Nick Amaro? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

#nick amaro imagine #nick amaro #nick amaro x you #nick amaro x reader

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saw3amanda · 9 months ago

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understand more than i am saying (chapter 1)

[sequel to miss missing you (now and then)]

[six months ago]

Clark,

When I was in primary school, I learned that the heart was a hideous, twisted mass, hidden away in the middle (not the left) of my chest. Revulsion and betrayal; my eight year old mind was distraught. I wanted desperately to forget this, wanted to picture a pretty pink glow, rounded and effusive.

Years later, far too long, I saw a picture of two hearts sewn together and the knot of horror eased. The commercial heart I doodled on exams, thrown on walls in February, written in letters from my mother (tucked in the bottom, always near her signature. inseparable.) Your heart and mine, it said, together when we couldn’t be.

Your heart tied to mine.

(Sometimes tying those threads between us takes effort, scraping almost-forgotten knowledge out of Gordian knots out of the caverns, thread barely long enough to meet,, yanking the ends together as it stretches between us. But a taut string indicates proximity, doesn’t it?)

My heart tied to yours.

When I was in primary school, I would picture the twitching muscle and wonder where the connotation of love came from. But it was always my chest tightening when I made the pretty boy in class laugh. Warmth caged by my ribs, like the watered down wine at the church Alfred would drag me to. That was why the heart represents love. My being exists due to the love of others and I exist due to my heart circulating oxygen. Circulating love, circulating oxygen, you pick.

When I was fifteen (what didn’t happen when I was fifteen? I felt real for the first time. I was solid, physical, able to touch and change the lives of others of my own volition. My decisions mattered, for the first time in my life. I was a drifting wraith made solid, both Orpheus and Eurydice. I had the strength to not turn around [constantly tested as I moved and started at a rural Kansas school] and the faith to continue forward.)

I had believed myself in love, a year before. A friend who I, to be jejune, pined for, whose attention I became obsessed over. I had thought I knew, and then suddenly I was Eurydice stepping into the sun and Orpheus turning around, victorious. But their joy only lasted a moment too, didn't it?

How could the heart represent love, Clark? How could it, when you stole the air from my lungs, when my blood rushed as I confessed my feelings (stupid, diminutive word) in the dancing barn dust and February sun. My words stuck in my throat and my voice wavered, my hands shaking, legs clumsy. How could love be contained in the heart when my entire being thrummed with you?

I left you, eventually. It wasn’t a tactful exit, not as clean as either of us would’ve liked. I was seventeen and terrified, and now I’m twenty-five and terrified.

Christ, Clark. This is what I am. Writing trite Eurydice metaphors and confessions eight years past.

Forgive me,

Bruce had never before felt the night wind whip past his cheeks while he was still dressed in kevlar. It was a curious sensation that stripped him bare. He was viciously uncomfortable, but it was a discomfort he felt he needed to suffer through.

Clark stood, midnight blue of his uniform blending with the fresh nightfall, three feet in front of him. Bruce had had ample time to estimate the exact distance between them in the full minute of silence that had transpired. He only looked at Clark after the initial reveal, then had cowardly counted the inches on the scuffed concrete rather than face him again.

Bruce’s hair (a few inches longer than to his liking) ruffled from a cool breeze, and he resisted every urge to slam his cowl back on.

Clark cleared his throat.

“I…” He tried. He swallowed, a flashy show of his throat moving and Adam's apple bobbing, and Bruce swept his gaze to the faded threads of sun across the horizon.

“How long have you known?” Clark uttered softly into the night. Bruce kept his breathing as steady as a metronome, though his inhalations were still harsh in his ears. He wasn’t able to gauge Clark’s reaction thus far; there was clear shock, but did Clark speak quietly out of anger? Was it embarrassment or disappointment in the flush on his cheeks?

“I've suspected since ‘The Superman’ was introduced,” Bruce said evenly. “But it was confirmed when we started working together.”

“Jesus Christ, you've known the whole time.” Clark muttered to himself, scrubbing his hands viciously against his eyes. He dropped his arms and stared directly at Bruce. “How. How did you know?”

Bruce had imagined telling Clark more times than he could count, and planned for every possible reaction. He prepared answers to questions that may never be asked, running through lines like a measured public relations response.

Whatever script he had memorized, he could not recall. He felt pinned, felt seen by Clark’s piercing gaze. He lost every meticulously constructed barrier he had built between them. With an exposed face and crumbling defenses, he had no carefully fortified answer. He could only tell the truth.

“In high school,” Bruce started. He carefully avoided any mention of their relationship; neither of them needed the reminder at the moment. “I had noticed moments where you showed your abilities. This, coupled with certain mannerisms and the fact that you had always wanted to move to Metropolis, was too uncanny to ignore.”

I knew because it was you , he bit back. I knew because I had studied every feature of your face for years. I would know the hook of your nose, the black curls, the shape of your eyes blind. I knew because I hoped. I knew because I wanted it to be you.

Clark had closed his eyes as Bruce was speaking, and Bruce took the reprieve to finally snap his cowl back on. He exhaled slowly, and the reverb of his modified voice rumbled quietly. The air of separation it brought between them did not go unnoticed by Bruce.

He watched Clark's jaw clench and unclench in silence.

“So,” Clark started, opening his eyes and fixing his gaze on Bruce. “You've known who I was for what, a little over two years? And actively lied一”

“Omitted.” Bruce interrupted..

Clark clenched his jaw once again, and Bruce swore he heard molars grinding against each other.

“Fine. Omitted this detail from every conversation we've had the entire time we've known each other.” Clark's eyebrows drew together, and he shook his head slightly. Bruce watched the sweat-damp curl on his head flutter, warmth sparking in his chest. “Since Superman and Batman have known each other. And you never once thought it prudent to tell me?”

“No, Superman,” Bruce said, reminding them both who and where they were. Clark flinched slightly, and Bruce ignored the pang of regret. “I didn't.”

Clark huffed out an unamused laugh and shook his head, then turned his stare back on Bruce. He almost shivered, like a devotee facing an angry god.

“You know what?” Clark gave a wry, brittle smile. “Knowing you, it makes sense. I wish I was surprised.”

(Bruce loathed the sudden glow blooming in his chest. Clark, despite Bruce’s assiduous effort against it, did know him, and Bruce hated it even as some part of him latched onto this fact, leaving claw marks in its wake.)

Clark seemed to be expecting him to say something, but Bruce had nothing to give. (He had too much to give. Are you disappointed that it's me? He felt the question in time with every beat of his heart. I hurt you to protect my identity, and I'd do it again. I can't seem to stop hurting you. I don't know how.)

After a minute of Bruce’s quietude, he sighed and wiped his hands down his face.

“Look,” Clark said. “We clearly need to talk about this. I mean you一 for an entire year一”

A groan of frustration ripped through his throat, and Bruce watched the insignia on his chest stretch as he took a deep breath.

“The point is we need to have a conversation about this.” Clark repeated, exhaling slowly. “I'm going to need a better answer on why you didn't tell me. But I can't do this now. Between Luthor today and you being…well, I'm exhausted.”

Bruce nodded tersely, not quite meeting Clark's eye, but looking somewhere over his shoulder into the distance. Dead leaves rattled across the rooftop, a quick snare's harmony under a fledgling moon. Bruce could see bright lights parading on the streets below them. The night had brought a certain peace upon this sparkling city and Bruce let its ambient noise fill the space between the two.

Clark must've taken this as his goodbye; he turned around, his feet once again lifting a scant few inches above the concrete rooftop. Bruce was struck by a sudden, urgent sense of deja vu, down to the desperate desire to say something, anything to keep Clark from leaving just a moment more. Bruce was stepping forward before he had properly made the decision, arm reaching out to Clark.

“I meant it,” He blurted out, and his hand fell away before he could touch Clark. He cursed himself for how compromised he had made Bruce. His desperation was surely written into every line in his body, his greedy hand and frantic words. He carried on regardless. Clark was owed this, at least. “I meant what I said.”

Clark gazed down at him with drawn eyebrows and a downturn to his lips, floating a bit above Bruce.

“I really am sorry, Clark.”

“I know, B.” Clark said, voice hushed. The nickname seemed to have slipped out accidentally; Clark closed his eyes briefly. “But I do deserve answers.”

Time reversed, and Clark left Bruce.

#superbat #superbat fic #bruce wayne/clark kent #dc comics fic #dc fic

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sempsimps · 7 months ago

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Copper Howard x reader

fallout has changed my brain chemistry and as a die hard fan from years ago the release of the show has altered somthing within me somthing just snapped when i seen cooper and i don't think i have properly written about the monster fucker inside of me sooo now is the chance for me to save a horse and ride a cowboy :) apologies if my writing sucks

me and my friends just chilling

me; ....so anyway ya know cooper the ghoul in fallout, he has no nose so i cant ride his face

innocent friend; (didnt understand) aw, he cant wear sunglasses

bestie; (fucking done with life) oh my fucking god, the innocence one "he cant where sunglasses" and then there's you going (tch) "dang, i cant ride his face"

tags;

liking the smell of blood (idkf)

mentioned death of course

ghouls how scary (sexy)

fallout as a whole is a warning

sexual tension

ride a cowboy... (so obviously this is 18+)

my innocent friend wanted to read this so there will be a line warning of the NSFW usually i would get right into it but for the sake of their innocence there's a line

you travel with the ghoul of the wild wild wasteland but stay mostly out of the bullshit and gun fights, opting to just be a side piece. after my cryo-pod busted open in my vault, i noticed mine was the only one that worked, and the rest of my colony was long dead. 'damn economy class shit' some must of been awake, but were now skeletons dancing from beyond the glass. once i exited the vault and i was told that a hundred years had pass. i met some weird doctor he gave me some "magical" ailment to heal my beyond mangled arm, the aftermath of a deathclaw attack. the limb in question was barely hanging on by a muscle, when this eccentric man dragged me back to his house? im guessing it was. the strange individual gave me this weird yellow and brown mixture, after talking about some random shit i was going to die of blood loss listing to him, or whatever he put in here. so i might as well take it swallowing it down without a second thought, it was stupid but what choice did i have. i began coughing and throwing up what little food i ate, it tasted disgusting a mix of dirt and bleach my arm healed fully within minuets. but now i found im half ghoul still smooth skin for the most part but my left arm to my collar bone and hand, cheeks, eyes sunken and nose was starting to flake off and wither I had the healing properties but not quite as strong as-

BANG- i jumped out of my skin when rogers brains decorated the bland yellow wall with crimson. 'jesus christ okay then' cooper began to cut open the poor ghoul, ripping out and placing the teeth to the side, which i picked up examining them. 'bone... is always so interesting' i for the most part stayed away from the cannibalism on the surface, but got to admit seeing cooper eat that guy stirred something in me. poor lucy though, she didn't have to see that or to join in.... welp cant change the past now. cooper cut strips of flesh off and lucy cut some chunks of meat, and handed it to me. i placed them into a container that sat in the bottom of my bag. as we started to walk out of the building i hung back carrying some of Roger on my backpack to soak in the sun like the ghoul Infront of me, i stayed behind copper to the left of lucy, keeping guard and making sure there was no attacks or following raiders and scrapers. i looked away for one second hearing somthing fall behind me, it was nothing and i turned back, and seen lucy drink from some fucked up green water. 'uh gross' i slowly tread towards them taking my sweet time drinking some water from my own flask, ready to refill with a rare water filter as i couldn't digest the radiation just yet. vault girl was desperate for water i dont blame her still felt bad for her, but it wasn't my place to intervein she did break the last vials we had on a fucking axolotl mutant as i walked over i only heard the last bit of the low and quite conversation.

"....are you?"

"oh, im you sweetie. just give it a little time"

cooper began to have a coughing fit, and lucy ran off i chased up to the cowboy but he was already up and gone, and as i got there he already had lucy in his lasso 'he's damn good with that rope...god can i shut the fuck up' she was on the floor, and he was over her lucy, then bit off his finger. The awkward amount of blood was a strange colour, and lucy spat out the finger.

"there you are you little killer"

and with that cooper was quick to pick her up one handed doing an eye-for-an-eye cutting off her pointer finger on her left hand just witnessing it made my stomach twist in distaste but also a blush 'yikes- but treat me like that god damn' i walked over and carefully picked up the bitten off finger and placed it into my pocket humming. 'need to get another sewing kit for that' we quickly kept up the walking pace after the situation was over. i was now in front of lucy, dragging her along rather gently, by the rope cooper had attached to her i lead her through the broken chicken wire fencing, but as we got closer to the place i quickly realised what this was going to be. 'man this blows only time i seen another female and a fellow vaultie out here, and were selling her to codsworth. what a great way to make friends'

well its actually where me and cooper met i needed a vial desperately i was twitching, growling and having to manually breath i had a whole stash of caps for the robot and dumbasses co. then he appeared there some dead body in a big duffle bag, some scrapper tried attacking the sharp shooter. cooper seen me and smiled that signature smirk. tossing his last half a vial over to my feet "keeping ya' in check, until robo can sweetheart."

we stopped at the buzzer, and i let lucy out of the rope cutting it neatly with a rusty bread knife. cooper then took his satchel things off and pressed the button for the robotic voice answered. i turned to give a small smile to lucy mouthing a sorry.

"transaction"

"yes?"

"two months of vials exchange one female mint condition..... near mint condition"

"condition grading requires physical evaluation please send her in"

i stood next to the ghoul and nudged him and leaned to whisper quietly.

"seriously coop? its a bit harsh, dont ya think?"

he blatantly ignored me and harshly spoke to lucy instead, gesturing for lucy to go inside with his gun.

"go on"

i scoffed as she was walking into the super duper mart, taking one look back before going for good. i sigh deeply as i sat down on the desert floor wondering if that was really necessary, cooper stood still head tilting down but he looked like he was wobbling a little before collapsing in front of me.

"jesus christ coop!"

i got up and dragged him into some shade at the trading shop wall out of the blaring sun. it seemed like he was half paralyzed, only moving his eyes and breathing making a slight wheezing sound.

"codsworth better make this shit quick, but i do feel bad for her though"

after realising he wasn't gonna be able to speak or move until the yellow stuff came out from that British talking can of bolts, i decided to just fill the silence with my dumb talk.

"sooooo..... what now the head is gone, and we can't get it out of that axolotl and that was a lot of caps too...that sucks.. so did we really have to do that? You know i can afford at least a months worth with my caps..... okay, i know why, but still..... little of topic, but you looked really hot with that lasso... im going to shut up now"

looking away and blushing, i settled on whistling some old song i listened to ages ago. I might have been on a radio. i can't remember 'lay that pistol down, babe. lay that pistol down pistol packing mama lay that pistol down' its catchy.

some ghouls came out of the front of the super duper mart, they looked anywhere between newly turned and almost feral i just nodded at one and they continued 'well shit that totally isnt going to bite us in the ass later' hearing a loud gunshots made me jump out of my skin, and thankfully it stayed inside the building. 2 shots rang out and then silence before another loud shot. 'fuck well those idiots are dead and so is lucy dang she was nice' i sucked in through my teeth and waited for codsworth to get the supplies out, waiting and waiting and soon after lucy came out 'huh wow she's not dead and looking better in that' with her jumpsuit half off, wearing some armour and got a gun holster, she stood over us and dropped down facing cooper before speaking.

"if you dont get theses you turn into one of those? that how it works?"

she stood there looking at us both. i made no attempt to move, just shrugging lucy, then leaned to me, placing some vials in my palm before turning back to Cowboy Man.

"i may end up looking like you, but ill never be like you"

"you were nice but fuck your friend"

"rightfully so, actually im trying thanks"

she turned back with a "you fucking serious glance" i just returned a smile and a wave off she shook her head with a sigh and walking off.

"golden rule mother fucker..."

as she left as i prepped the vial into the asthma pump looking thing and putting it to coopers face in which he quickly breathed it in chocking a little and he slowly sat himself up and hastily taking another one out of my hand before standing up and having another leaning back taking it in fully and speed walking into the building i walked behind him slowly and halting as i looked at the bloody mess made in here 'jesus a massacre happened they killed each other' cooper rummaged through stuff at a table before making a loud slamming noise and glass falling to the floor

"haha! darling look at all of these!"

"Holy hell, that's gonna last us for ages a year maybe... your condition is getting worse..... It's a shame that we need a new supplier now. i kinda liked those guys"

walking over to the table there was dozens of vials enough to suffice for a year if rationed, and i started to pick up the carelessly thrown ones from the ground looking them over before deciding they weren't broken and placing them into my backpack in every pocket i could fill them in. while cooper stuffed his cowboy hat full of handfuls from the case and about while i inspected the bodies i was right about dumbass and co being dead but this one ghoul looked like an ammeter shot her it must of been lucy, non the less i was moving all the bodies to one place and out of the way this would be a great place to rest for the time being and that sofa looked really comfortable wouldn't want the bodies making the place smell horrid although the blood was a nice change the metallic smell almost comforting to me.

"hey coop? maybe we should stay here for the night it'll be far to tiering to get to a town from here and the sun is already setting"

"hm?.. oh yeah sure thing (...)"

hey seemed distracted by a tape but he was quick to throw it away over his shoulder and turning to face me.

"how about we uh celebrate this little victory eh darling?"

he walked over to a fridge opening it, and then grabbing two glass bottles of nuka cola. the rocket shape was part of the brand and an effective market tool, cooper passed me one i held up the glass and a shot rang out as he clipped the cap off of my glass, and doing the same for his own and he sat next to me on the sofa. the fizzy liquid sizzling in my hand.

"thanks, should we cheers?"

cooper smiled smiling facing me and clinking our glasses together and nodding his head.

"cheers"

we linked arms at the elbow 'almost like a couple nope nope stop that' and took a sip from our respective bottles sighing as i got my arm back from him.

"so what now?"

"we'll figure it out"

i leaned back taking another sip of the nuka cola clinking the bottle with my nails as a distraction 'welp its now or never' taking another large sip before leaning over and giving the ghoul a quick peck on the cheeck, and quickly turning away and drinking my embaresment down.

--------------------this is the line stop reading sophie--------------------

"the hell was that?"

"nothing dont worry about it"

"no no darling why did you stop?"

"I ..huh?"

I looked at him now kinda shocked, and dumbfounded, my face heating up more than the radiation

"I'll ask again. Why did ya stop with just that?"

"I m mean it took a lot out of me to just fo that"

"Come on, you think I wouldn't notice how you looked at me, and the hell was that confession earlier you like my lasso skills aye sweetheart? I could show in in more depth"

His hot fingers run along my clothed thigh, slowly tracing patterns up them, edging near but then going back down before he stopped completely I was caught up in his actions

"Hey darl, ya still with me? I need an answer"

"I uhm that would be uh nice"

Cooper places his half drunken nuka cola on the table with a small clink noise, and soon he was on top of me smirking like he dose his knees now between mine as we lay on the sofa moving to the side to lay down, and cooper hanged over me leaning down to kiss my decaying lips, the same rough texture that slotted into his perfectly. as the kiss deepened the more hungry the both of us got, now teeth clashing in the heated kiss trying to fight for dominance, I felt a hot hand run up my side before coming under my shirt the radiation heat was intoxicating, literally. his touch travelled up until it reached my bra. In the wasteland its not smart to take anything off, so he carefully got around the fabric, brining my bra down a letting the soft skin come out. the same hand now playing with them slowly making circle's around my nipples and pinching them. his body pushing closer to finding friction and my hips followed, down into his. the heated kiss broke and we both pant desperately, getting oxygen into our body's. the downsides to being a ghoul was of course the radiation, but also the loss of touch, the skin was so much different leathery and stuck in the position it decided to wrinkle to. I couldn't feel my hand or arm that well, so who knows how deprived cooper was he acted feral if it wasn't for the fact he had like 5 vials I would assume he was.

"How about we switch us darling. let you ride the cowboy you so desperately want"

He got off of me and stood up, taking his coat off. I sat up quickly and he laid down on the scratched up sofa, motioning for me to get on top I could see now just how hard he was straining against the fabric of his trousers, my mouth went dry and I was quick to get on top of him, before he stopped me with a calm tine and that stupid sexy smirk.

"Ah no take those of first"

He nodded his head to the bottom half of me, so I did just that a little to fast, my pussy was begging for this, and I couldn't stop to think as I took of my trousers, leaving my underwear on for some dignity. and then I got onto my legs on either side of his waist I felt him thrust his hip slightly up and it caught me off balance a squeak coming from my lips as i gripped the side to keep me upright, he chuckled knowing full well he did that, and he continued rocking my body forward I agve up trying to stay up and caught his lips again this time slower, more coordinated melting into each other. his hands coming back up to play with my chest moaning into the kiss, the slow movements almost driving me insane I broke from the kiss and rocked my hips across his clothed erection

GET CUCKED BECUSE I LOST MOTIVATION

Honestly though I was trying for weeks to write this properly and well I hate the second bit I had no direction to go in and welp also I want to start writing for black butler since the season came out and well I live fallout but yeah again lost all inspiration for it sorry but I hope it was some what good sorry if my writing sucks :)

#cooper howard #fallout #fallout cooper howard #fallout ghoul #save a horse ride a cowboy

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girls-are-weird · 1 year ago

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a fragment

so... i wrote this short fragment of a scene ages ago... maybe a month or so after YR S2 premiered, when i was trying to wrap my head around what i wanted S3 to be like or what i thought would happen in it-- either/or. i'm not sure.

i wanted to write it early on in the break, before the real S3 came and jossed it, but although i had some idea of the beats i wanted to hit, i was never able to fully crack the plot, and now that S3 is firmly in postprod territory, i realize i probably won't have time to write the full thing. but i think it's a pretty good piece of writing, and i don't want it to just languish in my hard drive without anybody ever reading it, so i figured i might as well put it out there just for kicks.

you don't get much of the plot in it-- it's just 650 words of wille complaining about being grounded at drottningholm-- but the gist of the fic was going to be: sara runs away after telling the police about what august did, her family thinks she's missing and the police starts searching for her, august gets arrested but he promises to not implicate simon with the drugs as long as the crown puts all of its resources into the search, wille demands to be allowed to stand with simon and linda during public appearances to support them/give the case more visibility, and eventually they get a tip from the public that leads them to sara alive and well in some other city she ran away to because she couldn't take the guilt of what she did to her brother. they all make up. august goes to jail. something something happy ending. your guess is as good as mine. xD

anyway, here's the little snippet i did manage to write. it was supposed to be the very beginning of the fic. hope you like!

Four days Wilhelm spent by himself at Drottningholm, completely disconnected from the outside world and without a clue as to what was happening with Simon or any of his friends at Hillerska. His mother had confiscated his phone before leaving the school that day; his computer was presumably still at Hillerska or elsewhere with the rest of his belongings, which hadn't been returned to him as of yet. He could watch tv in the family lounge but all they were doing was speculating about his sexuality and his relationship with Simon without any response from the Crown, and that only made him even more anxious, so he'd given up on the news altogether. His parents' room and offices had been unused and locked for the past four days so there was no way he could use their desk phones even if he knew how to do that (which he didn't), and the entire house staff had been instructed not to lend him theirs no matter how much he begged. Labor contracts and NDAs outweighed pity when it came to the palace staff, unfortunately.

He hadn't even heard from his parents, who had probably spent the past few days at the Royal Palace dealing with the fallout, and his only interaction with another human being other than the house staff was his one daily check-in with Minou. He was sure his mother had done that on purpose because Minou was the "nice" one— Farima would've gotten a door slammed in her face, and Jan-Olof better not show his face around Wilhelm any time soon if he valued his life at all. But even though polite, Minou was still loyal to the Queen, and the most Wille had gotten out of her was that the team was figuring out how to proceed after his reveal at the jubilee and he should stay out of the public eye until further notice.

Not for the first time, he cursed having to live in a place watched over by the Royal Guard; their job was just as much to keep him in as it was to keep intruders out. He swore he'd haunted the palace like an 18th-century ghost, pacing trenches in every carpet to be found within the 162 hectares of the property in search of some exit that would allow him to get outside undetected and maybe hail a cab or jump on a bus— fuck, at this point he'd even try and hitchhike back to Bjärstad, even though every horror movie in history warned against doing that.

But even that was a no-go. Every known exit to the building had at least one guard posted outside of it, and he was certain he'd be bodily brought back inside if he so much as poked the tips of his toes beyond any external doorway. By this point, he'd even begun contemplating the physics of jumping out a window, but he'd concluded there wasn't one that was close enough to the lake that he could fall into it and maybe, with some luck, not break every bone in his body.

This had to be some kind of kidnapping, right? Except even if it was, he was screwed because his captor just happened to be the queen of the fucking country, who probably couldn't even be charged with a crime— he wasn't sure; he'd never asked. Erik would probably know, but that was… a whole separate issue, wasn't it? And even if he raised a stink about neglect or something along those lines, he was nearly seventeen, not seven, and nobody would buy it, anyway, because the place he was being held captive in happened to be a bloody palace with a whole fleet of servants at the ready to attend to his every need.

Except when that need happened to be talking to the boy he loved.

#young royals #young royals netflix #prince wilhelm #simon eriksson #wilmon #wilhelm x simon #wille and simon #hi there otp #cali writes fanfic #simon x wilhelm #wille x simon #simon x wille #netflix

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lala3244 · 2 years ago

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One shot Duskwood

I am a big fan of the game and I really miss everyone on there (I am playing for the 7th time I think ... )

Also, I'm bored...

So I decided to write this one shot that I imagined, english is not my first language so please forgive me for any grammatical errors...

Also, it's a bit long... sorry :)

Consumption of alcohol!

6 months... 6 months without any news from him. Not a single damn text or smiley. I don't know if he got out okay, if he is still alive, got caught by the FBI, nothing. I have tried not to let myself go into despair. I had lived through tragedy already and I am not sure I would have been able to get out of that abyss if I had let myself go.

A few days ago, I finally decided to go to Duskwood. I didn't go before all that because it was too much and felt unreal at the time. Then, Jessy continued to text me and call me every day. Lilly would catch me up about Hannah's health and how herself was doing but never really ask me anything about him. Dan would also write to me regularly asking me all sorts of questions. Thomas never wrote to me but I didn't mind I understood, he wanted to give all of his free time to Hannah. Cleo and I got closer, I love baking and I would sometimes ask her for recipes. With all of them, we never really talked about what happened. Like I said it felt unreal. Jessy kept pestering me to come and see her. I wanted to but I was scared to see them, scared that they wouldn't like me when we were face to face. Earlier this week, I got drunk and with the liquid courage taking control I booked a flight and texted all of them that I was coming. I fell asleep right after sending the text. When I woke up, I saw a lot of text messages and couldn't, for the life of me , remember what happened last and then I saw the text and remembered. Well, now I couldn't back away. I had to go. Drunk me forgot that we had a cat and we need to take care of him. I wasn't working at the moment. So going on a trip wasn't a problem. For a few days, I struggled to find someone to look after my cat. I thought I had to cancel but then I had to ask my ex sister in law to look after him.

The day finally arrives, I'm stressed and I smoke cigarette after cigarette and drink a lot of coffee. A friend of mine kindly gives me a lift to the airport. I am so stressed, I don't talk. After an hour, we arrive at the airport. I give them a hug and leave to check myself in. I brought a suitcase. Apparently, drunk me wanted to stay for two weeks so I had to pack enough clothes for that time. I had asked Jessy if she could have me for this two weeks. She said yes and was so excited at the prospect of me coming. We talked about what we were going to do every day. Thanks to her, I started to get excited to see them. The others really wanted to see me too and texted me every day demanding what I like and would like to do.

Finally, it is time to board. The flight is quite short. We land smoothly. I wait for everyone to leave the plane as it is always annoying when people push you around to get out. We all want to leave no need to rush! I get up and start to go towards the exit. I thank the cabin crew and follow the other passengers. I turn my phone on as I turned it off before boarding. I got a few messages and notifications but I ignore them and call Jessy to let her know that I landed safely. She screams on the phone, excited, and tells me to hurry! I head towards the baggage claim and wait for my suitcase. It takes a few minutes for it to arrive, I grab it and leave the area. Phone in my hand, I try to find the red-haired girl. It doesn't take too long, she spotted me straightaway, she screams my name and runs towards me and throws her arms around me in a tight hug. I laugh at the situation. I am not used to my friends hugging me to say hello to me even if we haven't seen each other for years. I hug her back, touched by the way she is already comfortable with me. She takes my hand and guides me to her car. We sit in the car and we are en route. We don't talk for a few minutes. The silence is comfortable. I look at her with a smile. I can't believe I am here with her. She is really pretty, she turns her head and looks at me. She smiles then I can see it. The sadness behind her cheery behaviour. The hurt and betrayal. I recognize it as I do feel the same. Maybe it is less intense for me but it doesn't matter. We still haven't talked about it. She looks back to the road. I sigh. I break the silence.

Me: So? How far is Duskwood?

Jessy: Oh.. About an hour.

Me: Cool, so what did you plan for today?

Jessy: We are going home first, so you can leave your suitcase. I told everyone that we will meet them at the Aurora tonight. I want to keep you for myself for a few hours.

I am surprised by her words but I am ok with that. I am feeling overwhelmed at the thought of meeting all of them. The rest of the ride is quick, we sing and laugh and talk.

Jessy parks her car in front of her building. I take my suitcase from the trunk and we go up to her apartment. It is a lovely flat, very welcoming and warm like its owner. Jessy shows me her guest bedroom. It is quite small but it is okay for a 2 weeks stay. I leave my luggage inside and get back out. Jessy is preparing some tea. We sit down around the table in the kitchen.

We discuss about who is gonna be there tonight. And then she asks the dreaded question...

Jessy: Have you heard from Jake?

Me: Hum... No, nothing. I don't know if he's alive or captured. I try not to dwell on it. I risk to spiral out of control...

Jessy: I understand... I will stop talking about it then.

She smiles. A sad smile. She understands, even if it is not the same, what it feels like to lose someone we love. Still, we don't talk about what is weighing her down. The sparkle in her eyes has gone and it's not ready to come back. I have to make her talk. I have two weeks to do that. I am sure I will find a way. She stands up and tells me to get my jacket, we are going out! I grab my jacket and follow her outside her building. We start walking. She chats happily, telling me stories when we walk past some buildings or some streets. We arrive at the rainbow café. We go to the counter and make our order. We both take a latte and a piece of cake. We sit down while waiting for our order on the terrace. It's a nice day today, it's sunny and warm. I take my packet of cigarettes and start smoking one. The first one since I landed. Jessy looks at me with wide eyes. I blush while exhaling the smoke through my nose and I laugh.

Me: You should have seen me before my flight I think I drunk 5 cups of coffee and smoked 10 cigarettes I was so stressed to meet you! So yes, I know I smoke and it's bad but can't seem to shake off that bad habit.

Jessy(with a big smile while shaking her head): Well, we are allowed one vice and if it's only that, that's okay, even though it can kill you!

Me: Haha thank you Jessy. I promise I do not have more vices.

We sit there in silence, people watching. I can feel my phone vibrating. Jessy's phone is doing the same. We are looking at each other. I look at my phone, it was the group asking if I had arrived and what I was doing. I reply that I had arrived, that I was with Jessy and I will see them later at the Aurora. Jessy replies that she is keeping me to herself and to stop texting me. She does make me laugh with her genuine honesty. She sends a last text to let them know that we will be at the bar around 7pm. We still had a couple hours before going out. We finish our drinks and make our way to the supermarket to buy something to eat. We come back to her flat, we eat and then we start getting ready. I kind of forgot that it was a possibility that we would go out and I needed something nice to wear which I don't really have in my suitcase. I ask Jessy if she had something I could borrow. I think it will be difficult as she is really tiny compare to me but still she finds a nice dress a bit strechy also it's a bit short but I guess it will have to do. I have some nice shoes to go with the dress. I did think about bringing differents pairs of shoes! We put our dresses on and go to the living room so we can have a make up and hair session. I curl Jessy's hair and apply her make up. I try to make her eyes pop out more. She looks at me, sadness in her eyes. Richy won't be there tonight. I look at my phone, there is a text message from Phil:

I can't wait to finally meet you face to face :)

I answer back

Me too! See you in a bit!

Since he was released from prison, he got in touch shyly at first and then he got more comfortable. He is actually an interesting person when you get to know him. He flirts but it's not too much and I am not going to lie it's quite fun. It's also nice to have the attention of another man even if it's from a man like him. I am really looking forward to seeing him.

Finally, we are ready. We decided to walk to the bar, it's only a 5-minutes walk easy even with our heels!

I stop before the door, fidgeting with my fingers and I take a cigarette from my bag. Jessy stops and looks at me, her eyes questioning me.

Me: I... I am a bit anxious at meeting all of them at once. I am not good when it comes to group. Especially, when I have never met them beforehand.

Jessy: Ok, I get it. You know what? I don't think they are there yet. We can sit at the bar, order a drink and make them say hello to us instead of the other way.

Me (calming down a bit): Yes ! Good idea! Thank you Jessy

I give her a big hug, she is so thoughtful. I finish my cigarette and we go inside. It's still early and the bar is not busy yet. Jessy calls her brother. He turns around wondering who would scream his name like that and he saw his sister. He furrows his brows then looks at me and his face lights up as he recognizes me. He puts the glass he had in his hands down and comes over to us. He gives a quick hug to his sister but a long one to me. He smells nice and he is quite attractive, I understand why women fall for him. I can feel he works out a bit. It feels nice to be hugged by a man again. Finally, he releases me but still keeps his hands on my arms and looks at me in the eyes with a smile that can charm you in an instant.

Phil: Wow, even more beautiful in real life!

I blush a bit, I am not used to get compliments so directly. Jessy slaps him on the arm, embarrassed by her brother's behaviour.

Phil laughs, it's a nice sound.

Phil: What can I get you to drink, ladies?

He goes back behind the bar, waiting for our answers. I choose to have a beer, the red-haired girl a glass of wine. We find two stools at the counter. We sit down with our drinks and Phil comes over to us. He chats a bit as all the clients are served. We hear the door opening, we all turn to see who is coming through. It’s Dan. I walk over to him and hug him. He hugs me back straightaway and twirls me around. He is taller than I thought. And strong! I have been hugged three times already. It’s a weird feeling. We go back to our stools, Dan orders a drink too. Whiskey who knew! Lilly, Hannah and Thomas arrive a few minutes later, Lilly happily gives me a hug. Hannah and Thomas just wave at me and then they order their drinks. We decide to get a table as not everyone could have a stool. We sit down while Cleo joins us. I get hugged again. By this time, I finish my drink. I go to the bar to get another drink. Phil comes over with a huge grin on his face. He asks me what I want and I tell him I want a refill. He nods and takes my glass from me. He fills it up and gives it to me. We start talking.

Phil: So how do you like Duskwood so far?

Me: I haven't seen much yet but I like it and people are nice.

Phil: Yes, I am sure my sister will show you around later in the week. She loves playing the guide!

Me: It is nice to spend time with her. She is so sweet!

Phil: Yes, but I can also show you around.

Phil leans over the counter with a smirk and waits for my answer. While this is happening, a tall dark-haired man enters and stares at us. Before I can answer, I hear Hannah screaming "JAKE!!". I turn around and see her running towards the guy who is still staring at us. He turns to Hannah just in time for him to catch her into his arms. Lilly follows and hugs her siblings. I freeze at this sight. Jake is freaking alive and here. Lilly and Hannah knew but I didn't. I don't know what to feel. I am relieved, yes but something happened to my heart. It breaks in million pieces. He is well and alive, showing his face to anyone so he's probably not hunted anymore. Although, we are in Duskwood, I am not sure about the CCTV here but still... So he is here and he didn't tell me. I am not angry, I am disappointed, saddened. I can feel Jessy looking at me, she has a strained smile as she sees my face and I think she understands. I finally move, I grab my drink and my cigarettes and I go outside. Jessy follows me, she stays a few feet away from me while I light my cigarette. I turn around. She doesn't move and waits for me to talk. I don't really feel like talking. I take big gulps of my drink, finish my cigarette.

Me: Come on, Jessy. Let's get drunk and forget about all that bullshit.

She grins, I know she needs it and was waiting for someone with whom she could do that. We get to the bar and we order some shots. Phil is surprised by our orders but he doesn't ask any question. I feel someone approaching behind me. He touches my shoulder and waits for me to turn. I know who it is but I don't want to deal with that, with him. I turn around. He is taller than me I have to tilt my head up to look at him as he is quite close to me. My breath hitches while I look at his beautiful face. Yes, he is handsome at least to me. He stares at me intensely.

Jake: Hey you.

Me: Hi.

Jake: Can we go somewhere quiet to talk?

I look at him again, wondering if I should. I hear Phil putting our shots down and say to his sister "Who's that guy?", I can't hear Jessy's answer as I answer.

Me: No, tonight I intend to get drunk and spend my time with my friends.

He whispers back an ok while putting his hand in his hair. I ignore him and turn back to Jessy and we start drinking. I can hear him leave. Phil looks at me, I can sense he wants to ask me something but I also ignore him. I don't want to deal with that, I am here with and for my friends. Lilly sits down next to me. I know she wants to talk to me about him.

Lilly: I'm sorry.

Me: Why are you sorry, Lilly?

Lilly: For months, I knew he got out of the mine ok and we have been texted since then.

Me: Hmmm, ok. Why didn't you tell me anything?

Lilly: I don't know, you never asked me anything about him so I guessed that you knew he was ok.

Me: Fair enough. Are you drinking with us?

She looks at me, puzzled, but then she nods and orders a drink. We drink more shots and suddenly Jessy, who is starting to get tipsy, stands up a bit wobbly and yells "it's my song. Let's dance bitches!"

We go on the dancefloor, and we start to dance. I glance quickly at the table of our friends and I see Jake talking with Hannah, his eyes looking at my direction. He smiles shyly at me, while nodding at whatever Hannah is saying. Hannah sees the interaction and moves closer to him. I guess they still haven't talked to her about their connection. I sigh, the longer they wait the more difficult it will be for her. Jessy comes next to me with a shot. I take it from her hand and down it. The music changes and it's a slow dance. Jessy grabs me and we start dancing. I can feel her shaking. I pull away to look at her face and I see that she is crying. The alcool is making its effect. All the emotions she has kept bottled up are trying to get out. I bring her back into my arms and stroke her hair. She hugs me even tighter, desperate. She is full-on sobbing now and she doesn't seem to stop. I rock her with the music and after a few minutes she seems to calm down a bit. Now, everyone is looking at us, worried. We stay like this for long minutes, rocking together. Me, stroking her hair and her sobs turning into sniffles. She is still holding onto me as if her life depended on it. I stop moving and she looks up with her red eyes, watery. I tell her that we will grab a glass of water for her and then we will go outside to get some fresh air so she can sober up a bit.

I can feel everyone's eyes on us. I look at them and smile to show that there is no need to worry. I grab my bag and we are outside. We sit down on the floor, our back against the wall of the bar, staring at whatever is in front of us but our mind's sight is playing us different images. I grab Jessy by her shoulders so she can rest her head on mine.

Jessy: I am sorry. I don't know what happened...

Me: It's ok, Jessy. It happens to everyone. No one has talked about what happened and it needs to get out one way or another. I arrived only today but everything is starting to get too real. I was fine at home as everything felt surreal and that I never met him in real life. It felt like I was watching a serie, I was a spectator. After his confession, I thought that you would all fade away from my life, I don't know. Just stop talking to me and that after a few weeks I would think that I just imagined all of that. But, you, Jessy, you kept talking to me as if nothing happened, Dan and Cleo also. I don't even know if you have told them the truth. I don't know the end of the story here. I am grateful for your friendship but friends talk to each other especially during the hard times. So Jessy, talk and don't stop until your heart feels lighter and the weight that has been weighing you down is gone. You think you are hiding well what you feel but I can see the sadness in your eyes, that sparkle that I could see in your eyes on the pictures or the video calls before Richy betrayed us has gone and it's been 6 months and it's not back. I want to see it back. You need to process all of that but first you have to talk.

While I finish my speech, everyone was in front of us, listening. I didn't even realise. There is a moment of silence where everyone thinks about what I just said. They start to sit down, drinks in hand, Jessy puts her arms around my waist and she starts talking. She talks a lot, how she misses him and even though she feels betrayed she would have forgiven him everything. She tells some funny anecdotes and the others join in, we finish by all laughing. Jessy, still wrapped around me, tells us that we should go inside, she thanks me for everything and that she is feeling better. I look at all the faces and I can see they feel relieved to have finally talked about that. They look less closed off and a bit freer. We stand up, Jessy still in my arms. Dan takes us both in his arms, he kisses me on the cheek and thanks me. Then all of them stand up and we end up in a group hug. I let them all go inside and I stay behind to smoke my cigarette. Jake is still there, he was hanging at the back while all of that was happening. I ignore him, I don't feel like talking to anyone for now. I walk over to the wall where I lean against it. He joins me silently and stands next to me facing the street. We stay there without talking for a while. It's nice to feel his presence and the silence is comfortable. I still don't say anything, I enjoy my cigarette. What happened earlier did take a toll on me but I think I don't want to admit it. I should process all of that but I don't really care at the moment. I am happy that Jessy has been able to say what she was feeling and that everyone else was there, also, to listen. I look at the man standing next to me, wondering why he was still there since he hasn't said a word to me since his arrival. He turns his head and looks down to me. His face serious. He breaks the silence.

Jake: That was nice of you to make Jessy talks, she clearly needed it as did the others.

Me: Yes, well it was my goal for this vacation to make Jessy talk. I didn't think I would have been able to do it today though.

Jake: And what about you?

Me: What do you mean? what about me?

Jake: Who are you talking to if you need it?

Me: Aah... Don't worry about it. I am used to people relying on me for their emotional support and for the moment they need me so who cares about me? I came here for them not for me.

Jake: I do care about your feelings...

Me: Do you? I seem to recall that you ghosted me for 6 months and I know now that you talked to Lilly during that time. So please don't talk about how you care about me. I don't want to get into it right now.

Before, he can say anything Hannah, who seems to have been looking for him, approaches us. She gets close to Jake and puts her hand on his chest while looking at me as if to say he is hers. I try to stifle a smile but apparently fail as she looks at me now with an angry frown. Seriously, they really need to tell her. She gets even closer to him. I look at him, smiling widely now as he doesn't seem to understand what is going on. He looks at me and then realises what's happening so he pulls away a bit and brings her back inside. I still stay a bit longer outside. Lilly joins me after a few minutes. I can see the resemblance between her and Jake, they have the same eyes but Lilly's have a warmth to them that isn't there in Jake's.

Me: You haven't told Hannah about Jake.

Lilly: How do you know?

Me: Her behaviour. You don't do that with your brother. I know it's none of my business but you should tell her sooner rather than later.

Lilly: We talked about it and we think it's better to wait until she is more stable.

Me: What do you think will happen now? or later? It will be exactly the same at least now she isn't completely in love with him and it will be easier to recover from that.

Lilly: But... She is with Thomas?

Me: Doesn't matter. Old feelings can always come back especially if he is still as nice as he was online when they first met.

Lilly: I guess you are right. We should tell her and do that rather quickly.

I nod, there is nothing else I can say. She sighs.

Lilly: Also, Jake wants me to talk to you.

Me: Seriously, Lilly? There is nothing else to say. I said what I wanted to say, he didn't want to talk to me for 6 months and he just appears as if I haven't been waiting for him. Don't get me wrong, I am glad that he is alive and well. And free?

Lilly: Yes, he is free. I think he should...

Me: Lilly, enough. I don't think I can get over my disappointment like that. He didn't want me, it's fine. I can live with that. At least, now, I have my answer and I won't keep wondering what happened to him. I just don't want to talk about it tonight. That's not why I am here. Not for him.

As the conversation ends, Lilly goes back inside while Phil comes out. He comes to me and gives me a hug. I wrap my hands around his chest and put my head on his shoulder. He kisses the top of my head.

Phil: Thank you for looking after Jessy like that. She clearly needed it. How are you feeling?

Me: I am ok. I think. Too many emotions though. I need another drink.

He laughs and guides me back inside while holding my hand. I can feel eyes on me, I turn around and I see some of my friends watching us, puzzled. I shrug, I don't really care what they think. Phil gets behind the bar and serves me another beer and another shot. I drink the shot and I go towards the group. I sit next to Jessy with a big smile. I am happy to be here, with all of them. Jessy stands up, goes to the bar and comes back with more shots and we drink. I am starting to feel tipsy but it's a nice feeling. We get up and we start dancing while still drinking and getting obviously more drunk. Dancing with high heels, it's not easy. I walk to the table and sit down next to Jake. I take my shoes off and wriggle my red toes. Jake chuckles next to me, I turn around and I flash him with my biggest smile. I start talking to him about random stuff and he goes along, answering back. I put my feet on the chair, it gets me closer to him and my knees fall onto his lap. While I am still talking, not really realising what is happening, I see him looking down and up at my legs. His eyes stop at the part of my tattoo sticking out underneath the dress. He looks up at me, a bit embarrassed at being caught. I smile and I see Hannah coming over with an angry face but when Jake looks at her, she gives him a wide smile and she sits down next to him. Jessy grabs my arm and tells me to go back on the dancefloor. We dance for a few songs and then my favourite song is playing. I turn to Jake and he is still talking to Hannah. Well, Hannah is talking to him while he is staring at me, nodding along. I run towards them, I grab his hands and bring him with me on the dancefloor. I wrap my arms around his neck and I lay my head on his chest. He takes him a few seconds to realise what is happening and finally he gently grabs my waist and brings me closer to him. We move slowly with the music. I move my arms around his chest and he tightens his hold on my waist. I close my eyes and I enjoy the moment. I was saying earlier that it was nice being held by a man again but this is way better. There is a connection there that I didn't feel with Phil. I am still disappointed with him but I am guessing that he will easily be able to find a way for me to forgive him. The song ends but I don't want to move. The next song is playing and we still stay that way. After a while we pull away from each other, Jake is smiling at me, I think he didn't expect me to do that. I stand on my toes and whisper in his ear.

Me: Thank you for dancing with me but you are not forgiven.

Jake: I understand. Will you have a coffee with me tomorrow when you are sober?

I nod and smile at him. Jessy brings me back to reality and we dance till the end of the night.

==============================================

The end

#duskwood #duskwood mc #duskwood jake x mc #duskwood fandom #everbyte studios

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boricuacherry-blog · 2 years ago

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In 2021, over a decade after being in a conservatorship, singer Britney Spears posted a furious rant about her mother Lynne on social media. The singer was born to Lynne, a school teacher and Jamie, an alcoholic building contractor in a small town in Louisiana.

But it wasn't long before she set off on the global road to fame at the age of 11, when she landed a role in Disney's The Mickey Mouse Club, along with fellow future stars Christina Aguilera, Justin Timberlake and Ryan Gosling.

In Britney's recent post, she claims her mother 'thrived on drama' and that she would argue with a 'drunk' Jamie 'every night of my life.'

Jamie's brother, Willie, told an outlet that Jamie would often get drunk and argue with Lynne, and that once he even tried to 'drive off with Britney' during an argument.

Britney says her father Jamie was abusive to both her and brother Bryan.

"My brother was a football player. And my dad was really, really hard on him when he was younger, really abusive," she alleges.

Britney adds that her father 'controlled everything I did' but that she 'had to go along because I knew they could hurt me.'

In 1979, Lynne reportedly filed for divorce and tried to obtain a restraining order against Jamie after an infidelity, but the divorce filing was withdrawn shortly after.

As a child, Britney would often retreat to her aunt's trailer nearby to drown out the noises of her parents fighting.

When they finally divorced in 2002, Britney says she was thrilled, saying, "This is the best thing to happen to our family. I wish it had happened 10 years ago. Even when I was a baby, they argued. They do not get along."

Jamie also got sober in 2004 after years of alcohol abuse. But then in 2007, after a public battle with drug abuse, a divorce, a custody battle and her family fighting for control over her, Britney spiraled quickly and was entered into a conservatorship. Britney says her mother was the mastermind behind it, with her father controlling every aspect of her life.

Although the conservatorship was initially supposed to be temporary, it was extended indefinitely and left Britney under the control of her father for the next 13 years, with him managing everything from her career to her weekly allowance, and requiring her to be on birth control.

In 2021, after learning that Jamie would be abandoning his role as conservator, Britney blasted the conservatorship itself as a 'family business' and thanked Jamie for 'exiting my life and finally allowing me to live mine.'

Following the removal of Jamie as conservator, Lynne made a public statement, saying, "It is clear to me that Jamie P. Spears is incapable of putting my daughter's interests ahead of his own on both a professional and a personal level."

Jamie then fired back in response, "In stark contrast, it appears that Lynne is the one incapable of putting her daughter's interests ahead of her own," going on to accuse her of being an absent mother.

Britney then said, "My dad may have started the conservatorship, but what people don't know is that my mom is the one who gave him the idea," adding that her father 'was not smart enough' to have come up with the idea on his own.

Britney then added, "She [Lynne] secretly ruined my life. And yes, I will call her and Lou Taylor [former manager] out on it. So take your whole 'I have no idea what's going on' attitude and go f**k yourself!"

Britney later said in an uploaded audio clip, "I heard when reporters would call her [Lynne] at the time and ask questions of what was going on, she would innocently hide in the house and she wouldn't speak up. It was always like, 'I don't know what to say. I just don't want to say the wrong thing. We're praying for her.' My mother could have gotten me a lawyer in two seconds if she really wanted to help me."

She continued, "My friend [Jansen Fitzgerald] helped me get one in the end, but every time I made contact with a firm, my phone was tapped, and my phone would get taken away from me."

#britney spears #jamie spears #lynne spears #conservatorship

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rage-against-the-machine · 1 year ago

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Scared of everything but you

Soft bucky x !fem! post-first mission reader

the reader is jumpy and a bit traumatized after their first ever mission as an avenger and bucky notices and comforts her

ever since i was a kid i’ve wanted to be a hero, when i was 15 the first avengers banded together to defeat loki, they saved my life. Now that i’m getting to live out my dream as a reality things are great!… sort of. i slump into my arm-chair, coffee in hand as empty cups decorate my room. i click on the tv and flip through the same couple channels until i get bored and turn it off. the pitter patter of the rain is like footsteps almost, getting louder and louder. a shiver runs down my spine as i look around the dim lit room. all i can think of is what if someone’s here? what if we didn’t defeat him? what if he came back to kill me? i shouldn’t be this scared, the other avengers have been through so much worse but all i can see when i close my eyes is fire and wounds, i look down at my hand, freshly stitched and a blueish purpleish color. shit, what if it’s infected? what if he had some secret virus in it?? no, no banner is the best doctor i know… but what if? i throw my now empty coffee can across the room and grumpily stand up, unable to stay in the same position for any longer. i check the clock: 2:30 am. fuck i need sleep. walking on the spruce floors i flinch every time they creek, suddenly i see a figure in my doorway. i freeze, overpowered with fear until i regconize something. the figures arm is almost shiny, reflective… metal.

“bucky!” i say, forgetting that other people in the compound might be sleeping. “h-how long have you been standing there?” i say, this time quieter.

bucky smiles and walks in, closing the door behind him and leaning on the wall with a smirk. “long enough to see you throw an empty cup and get scared of the floor”

i look down a little embarrassed. I had started dating bucky about 3 weeks ago and it still felt new but this definetely wasn’t the first time he showed up at my house in the middle of the night.

his face became worried suddenly as he walked closer to me. my hands stayed straight by my side, unconsciously my thoughts began spiraling again, was bucky ok? why wasn’t i thinking about my own boyfriend?? he put his hands on mine and his touch seemed to melt all the bad thoughts. he had a special way of touching, it was addictive and therapeutic, loving and sweet. with his six sense he obviously noticed my anxiety spurring up and infered it was from the mission.

“here doll let’s get you to bed” he said. he led me to my bedroom and flicked on a dim lamp. he walked into the bathroom attached to my bedroom and rummaged for a hairbrush, he knew my layout pretty well. when he found one he sat behind me on the bed and started brushing my hair out.

“when i first joined the army” he said, his voice soft and slow. “i was exited, exited to be with steve, exited that i got to help people and defend my country. but after the first battle the excitement turned more into fear, but i had steve so things worked themselves out you know?”

i nodded as he brushed my hair, slowly calming me down.

“when i joined hydra it was a different story” he began, voice shaky a bit. “i didn’t have time to unwind, nor a friend to help, however i did have some basic self care stuff. since my hair was long then they provided a hairbrush, used and gross but it was still functional” he chuckled a bit “brushing my hair out helped me calm down from the fight” he then placed the hairbrush at my nightstand. i knew it was a lot for him to open up about his time at hydra, i wish i could express that i was grateful and so so proud of him, but all i could muster was a tight and deep hug. “thank you bucky” i whispered onto his skin, warmth and love filling both of us.

he tucked me in and layed behind me, resting his hand on my waist and the other wrapped around me, for the first time in a week i felt truly warm, truly safe just in his arms.

~~~~~~~~~~

LMK what you think of this! <33

#bucky#softbucky#mcu#buckyxreader

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self-spaghettification · 1 year ago

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michael the distortion notes

youtube

^Every voice line from him

(all mentions of/talk from michael)

[MAG 26]

SASHA

So, I was starting to regret not getting a coffee and talking to tall, blond and monster, since it didn’t seem like I’d have missed much.

The street was empty, but as I looked, a car drove past. In the curving glass of its tinted windows, I saw him there, the weird distorted body, rail-thin and limp, the hands huge and sharp. And then the car passed on and I turned back to see a normal-looking man. But now, for the first time, he was looking at me. He gestured to the chair across from him, clearly inviting me inside. I don’t know why I wasn’t more scared going in there, but I wasn’t. My curiosity apparently conquered my nervousness.

He didn’t speak when I sat down, and I saw his coffee cup was empty. Whatever was inside had dried up hours ago. He seemed to be waiting for me to ask him a question. So I asked him what he was. He laughed at this, the first sound I’d heard him make, and it sounded… unnatural. Like he was laughing very quietly, but someone had turned up the volume up so I could hear it. He said it didn’t matter what he was, that he couldn’t describe it even if he wanted to. What was the phrase he used… “How would a melody describe itself when asked?”

This put my back up a bit to be honest, and I told him if he was going to talk in cheap riddles I was just going to leave. He actually apologised, told me I could call him Michael. I didn’t want to call him Michael; it didn’t seem to fit somehow, and the way he said it made me think that it definitely was not his name. Still, it wasn’t like I had any other name for him. – no, not for him. For it.

It sat there, clearly waiting for me to ask another question – so I did. I asked it what it wanted, and was told that it wanted to help.

ARCHIVIST

Help? With… what?

SASHA

That’s what I said. Did it want to stop Jane Prentiss? It laughed that weird laugh again and told me that I had no idea what was really going on. It didn’t sound like it had any intention of telling me, though, it just seemed like it was amused by my attempts to understand. Then it said it didn’t care if I or my companions lived or died, but that “the flesh-hive was always rash”. It said it wanted to be friends. When it said this it put its hand in mine, and it may have looked like a human hand, but it was heavy. It felt like a… wet leather bag full of heavy stones. Sharp stones.

I pulled my hand away quickly and got up to leave. By this point I was just about sick of this weird thing that looked like a person but was not a person and talked in riddles. It made no move to stop me as I headed towards the door. As I was about to exit, though, it called after me, and said if I was interested in saving your life it would be waiting at Hanwell Cemetery.

ARCHIVIST

Sorry, saving my life?

SASHA

Yeah. It called you by name. You. And Martin. And Tim.

ARCHIVIST

That’s… unsettling.

SASHA

Staggering to my feet, I felt my hand come to rest on something cold and metal – the fire extinguisher. Without thinking, I pulled the pin out and squeezed the handle. A cloud of gas shot out and, to my surprise, the silver worms began to shudder and recoil, shrivelling and dying. I began to walk forward, catching every last one in the jet of gas. Finally, I found myself standing over the mass of pitted and hollow skin that was once a man. He shuddered violently as the gas engulfed him, and then lay still.

As I stood there, staring at the wallet, I felt a sharp pain in my right arm. I looked up to see Michael, reaching into my shoulder. Its fingers were long and distorted as they reached through my skin, cutting it like paper. I screamed. After a few seconds, it withdrew its hand. Held there was a single silver worm, wriggling pathetically in its grip. I hadn’t even felt the thing burrowing into my arm.

After that it’s all a bit of blur.

-•-

[MAG 40]

NOT!SASHA

Yes, not anymore. It was safe enough. The worms didn’t get in, and I stayed there until the fire system deployed, then I ran out to get to a window. I saw the worms in the main Institute. They shrivelled and died. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that scream, though. I could hear Prentiss screaming even from there.

ARCHIVIST

Well, it’s thanks to you, to be honest. If you hadn’t met that ‘Michael’ thing…

NOT!SASHA

Yes, Michael… With the bones in his hands. We still don’t know much about him, do we?

-•-

[MAG 47]

HELEN

He was tall, maybe six and a half feet? And he had long, straw-coloured hair that fell onto his shoulders in loose ringlets. His face was round and unthreatening, although he stood so still when I answered the door that it did rather unnerve me.

I held up my arm for a handshake, but he just looked at it, and laughed, keeping his hands firmly by his side. That was when I first started to think that something might be wrong, because his laugh didn’t… sound right? I, I don’t know how to describe it, but it wasn’t, it wasn’t a human laugh.

He followed me. His, his eyes were always looking where I pointed, but he never seemed to take anything in, and he didn’t ask any questions at all. At least, not ‘till we reached the second floor.

I stepped back out onto the landing to find him looking at a new door. He asked me what was behind it, and I just stood there, staring.

[MICHAEL SPEAKS OVER DOOR CLOSING SQUEAKLESSLY AND RISING SQUEALING STATIC]

MICHAEL

Do you even know they’re lying to you?

ARCHIVIST

[overlapping] I, I, I’m sorry, I didn’t – can I help you? This place is off-limits.

MICHAEL

I disagree.

ARCHIVIST

Who let you in here?

MICHAEL

“Let?”

[MICHAEL LAUGHS. THE SOUND IS NEARLY-IMPERCEPTIBLY DOUBLED, AS IF HE IS LAUGHING FROM MORE THAN ONE THROAT, A FRACTION OF A SECOND OUT-OF-SYNC WITH HIMSELF.]

MICHAEL

I’m afraid that isn’t how this works.

ARCHIVIST

You’re him.

MICHAEL

Yes.

ARCHIVIST

Michael.

MICHAEL

…

That is a real name.

ARCHIVIST

Are you here to kill me?

MICHAEL

No.

ARCHIVIST

Oh…

Why are, why are you here? Wh–

MICHAEL

I am simply collecting what is mine, Archivist. The one who entered my domain.

ARCHIVIST

…Miss Rich-ard-son? You own those hallways?

MICHAEL

What a fffascinating question. Does your hand in any way own your stomach?

ARCHIVIST

[overlapping] [muted] Ah –

MICHAEL

In any case, it doesn’t matter: the Wanderer had a brief respite, but it’s over now.

ARCHIVIST

Well, you’re too late, sh-she’s gone!

MICHAEL

[laugh] …yes… ah… did you notice which door she left through? [continues laughing quietly]

ARCHIVIST

[overlapping] Yes… wait… no, there was, there –

MICHAEL

[overlapping] There has never been a door there, Archivist, your mind plays tricks on you…

ARCHIVIST

Let her go!

MICHAEL

[laugh] No?

ARCHIVIST

Get her back here!

MICHAEL

[laugh] Are you going to attack me?

[ARCHIVIST YELLS IN PAIN AS MICHAEL CONTINUES LAUGHING QUIETLY]

ARCHIVIST

– who the hell are you!?

MICHAEL

I am not a “who,” Archivist, I am a “what.” A “who” requires a degree of identity I can’t ever retain.

ARCHIVIST

So… Michael isn’t your real name, what?

MICHAEL

There is no such thing as a real name.

ARCHIVIST

What are you talking about?

MICHAEL

I am talking about myself. It’s not something I’m used to doing, so I’m sorry if I’m not very good at it.

ARCHIVIST

You decided to appear down here and… stab me anyway!

MICHAEL

I wanted to talk to you. I intervened, to save you before. I, I’m interested in what happens now.

ARCHIVIST

Yes, well, thank you for that, I suppose… And you still haven’t told me why you “intervened” at all. [huff]

MICHAEL

I’m normally neutral, yes. But the loss of this place would have unbalanced the struggle too early. I’m keen to see how it progresses.

ARCHIVIST

You make it sound like there’s a… war.

MICHAEL

[heh] Then I will say nothing further. I wouldn’t wish to tarnish your ignorance prematurely. [giggle] Goodbye, Archivist.

-•-

[MAG 48]

ARCHIVIST

Michael’s visit last week has been playing on my mind. What struggle is he talking about, and if there is one, what’s his stake in it? What even is he?

Listening back over his visit, I am also struck by something that in the confusion of his arrival completely passed me by the first time. His words were a warning that I cannot trust Sasha. That she was lying about something. Of course it has become rapidly apparent in my investigation that I can trust nobody.

But of all of them, Sasha seemed the least suspicious. I can’t find any evidence she ever even met Gertrude. And her working here seems the natural progression of a lifelong interest in the paranormal. She’s been doing her work with the same diligence as before the Prentiss incident, and indeed, of all of them, seemed to have been the least affected.

That said, she did lose the tape documenting her experience. Or is she lying about her meeting with Michael, leaving things out? Or is Michael simply messing with my head, as indeed seemed to be the entire purpose of his visit?

On another note, I need to be subtler in my inquiries. Here follows a recording I managed to make of a short meeting Elias requested –

ELIAS (RECORDED)

I don’t enjoy having to have these meetings, John, you know I don’t.

ARCHIVIST (RECORDED)

Well, I’m sorry you’re compelled to. I assume you’ve had another complaint.

ELIAS (RECORDED)

Yes.

ARCHIVIST (RECORDED)

Who from this time? Was Dr. Elliot offended I declined to take his apple? Was I too rude to Michael?

ELIAS (RECORDED)

Who’s Michael? No, it’s from your team.

ARCHIVIST (RECORDED)

What?

-•-

[MAG 74]

LYDIA

There is a man in my living room. He is tall, with sandy blond hair that twists into unruly curls. I must have invited him in. He sits in my armchair, drumming his fingers together. They make an odd, clacking sound when they touch. I know him, though I have no idea where we might have met. His smile is friendly but I don’t like it. I apologise, tell him I’ve forgotten his name and he waves it away, saying that names are overrated, then asks how my day has been. I tell him I don’t know which day he means, and he laughs and laughs and laughs until my nose begins to bleed. I see the blood dripping onto the patterns I have been drawing. How long have I been drawing? It isn’t my pen.

Your vision goes strange when you don’t sleep for a long time. I think it’s something to do with changing pressure on your eyeballs. You start to detect faint movements on the edges, on the periphery, and if you stare too long at a flat surface it starts to gently pulse and move.

But maybe it’s just the mind becoming too tired to properly process the signals your eyes send. So much of what we see and hear are just useful lies that our brain tells us, filtering out the useless bits and adding in what it expects to see. No-one ever knows what they’re really seeing or hearing.

The man is back. This time I am on a bench in the park. The clouds roll and curl gently in the pale sky of dawn. He is twisting long blades of grass into strange spirals, but his fingers keep cutting through them instead. Is this when we met? He looks at me, his face impassive… if I even see a face. He tells me that I look terrible. I try to focus, but his body shifts and undulates like so much else when I try to focus. I tell him I haven’t slept, and he nods and tells me that’s ok. He is lying, and it makes me very afraid.

I am running through the city. The alleyways are narrow and winding and do not turn all the directions that they should.

I feel sleep begin to overtake me, but I am wrong. It is dawn, and all that comes over me is faint and sickly sunlight. I can hear his laugh again, and my mouth tastes like burnt coffee.

I know this place and what you want, but I have no proof to give you. I have nothing that cannot be waved away as a bad dream. By you, at least. I cannot wave, for my arms are too heavy and my hands are busy drawing those strange, familiar curves. What do you want? To find a child’s tooth and hold it up triumphant, a talisman to conjure those things that you should fear. To photograph and analyse a billboard that has never once advertised coffee. To talk to a person who is not a person and whose strange laugh you should be fleeing? I am here, and I give you my words. They are all I have, and all you want, and perhaps when I am free of them then I will be allowed to sleep.

ARCHIVIST

I now recognise the description of a tall man with curly blond hair and an unnerving laugh all too well. Michael, did you drive her to this? Another victim of your warped games? Or were you simply drawn like a vulture? Or maybe a shark sensing blood. What do you want from your victims?

-•-

[MAG 78]

ARCHIVIST

[Whispered] It is remarkably easy to buy an axe in Central London. Harder to sneak it into Artefact Storage, but not impossible. I don’t know if destroying this is going to kill that thing… but I am damn sure it’s going to hurt.

[NOISE OF AXE HITTING & SPLINTERING WOOD AND THE GRUNTS OF THE ARCHIVIST AS A STRANGE MUSIC BEGINS TO BUILD AND INTENSIFY]

[SOUND OF SHATTERING WOOD AND THE STRANGE MUSIC DISAPPEARS]

Hollow. Just cobwebs and dust.

[FAMILIAR EERIE LAUGHTER]

MICHAEL

That was very stupid.

ARCHIVIST

What do you want?

MICHAEL

There’s no other way out of this room, you know.

ARCHIVIST

What?

MICHAEL

You don’t have time to escape before they get here.

ARCHIVIST

The… the… the “Not Sasha”? No, but the table…

MICHAEL

Was binding it quite effectively.

ARCHIVIST

Oh. Oh no.

MICHAEL

Even with all the protections you have on, I doubt you can survive them now.

[IN THE BACKGROUND, THE ARCHIVIST IS WORRIEDLY MUTTERING ‘NO’ OVER AND OVER]

NOT!SASHA

[Heavily distorted, distant] Jooooohhhnnnn….

ARCHIVIST

Er… I…

[SOUND OF A CREAKY DOOR OPENING]

MICHAEL

You. Need. A door.

ARCHIVIST

NO. No, I… I just… I need…

[DISTORTED VOICE FROM THE NOT!SASHA CALLING OUT HIS NAME AGAIN]

ARCHIVIST

Shit!

[MICHAEL LAUGHS AND LAUGHS]

[STRANGE SOUND ALMOST LIKE SOMETHING ROARING OPEN AS MICHAEL’S LAUGH ECHOES]

[CLICK]

-•-

[MAG 79]

[CLICK]

ARCHIVIST

Damn. Damn damn damn damn DAMN!

[HAND SLAPS STONE]

I… I took Michael’s door. It was that or face Sa… the thing that was pretending to be Sasha. It opened into the tunnels. The tunnels. Not exactly the escape I was hoping for. I’m hardly surprised, must be its idea of a joke. Still, it is… it is a head start I suppose. I have no idea where in the tunnels I am. Or how far down.

At least it didn’t leave me trapped in some corridor hellmaze… a different corridor hellmaze, at least.

So I suppose I just… I just wait for now.

MARTIN

No, no it’s not “fine”. You’ve been going on and on and on about how alone you feel because John’s not taking your feelings into account while he’s having his breakdown, but you’re just doing the same thing. We’ve all been going through this, Tim, but you’re the only one who’s been running away.

TIM

Okay, okay. Look, let’s keep going. There’s nobody here.

MICHAEL

Yes there is.

TIM

Stay back!

MICHAEL

No.

MARTIN

Who are you?

MICHAEL

I’m Michael. Did the Archivist not tell you about me?

MARTIN

No?

MICHAEL

Good. Surprises are better.

TIM

What are you doing down here?

MICHAEL

Probably watching the Archivist die. Maybe not. Either way is amusing. I… I think it’s called ‘a sport’.

TIM

What?

MICHAEL

I think I might also kill you. It would be easier than killing the Archivist. None of you are protected down here.

MARTIN

No, no, now hang on…

MICHAEL

You are going to try and help him. And I want to see what happens without you there.

TIM

Martin…

MARTIN

No, no, okay, because there’s two of us and there’s one of you, okay. He’s not killing anyone!

TIM

Martin, look at his hands!

MARTIN

Oh.

TIM

Go!

[SINISTER DOOR OPENS]

[FOOTSTEPS]

[MICHAEL LAUGHS]

[SINISTER DOOR SHUTS]

[HEAVY BREATHING]

[Distorted] Where the hell are we?

[CLICK]

[DIALOGUE IS VERY DISTORTED UNTIL NEXT CLICK]

TIM

Where the hell are we?

MARTIN

I don’t know. I thought… I thought the door led further down.

TIM

I don’t think we’re under the Institute anymore.

MARTIN

What was that thing?

TIM

I’m trying not to think about it. It makes my head feel weird.

MARTIN

Well? Wh… which way do you think?

TIM

Er… Right. Let’s go right.

MARTIN

[SIGH] Fine. I don’t think this thing’s working properly. It k-keeps making this weird noise.

[CLICK]

-•-

[MAG 80]

LEITNER

The books are, I think, their essences in a purer form. The other things that stalk us, from what I know of them, they have varying wills of their own. All in service of the thing they’re a part of, but not directly controlled by the mind beneath them. At least, inasmuch as these entities have something we could recognise as a mind.

ARCHIVIST

Like a… a, a muscle, spasming on reflex?

LEITNER

Yes, that’s actually rather good.

ARCHIVIST

It would explain Michael’s identity issues.

LEITNER

Michael? Oh… that, that’s what the Distortion calls itself these days, isn’t it? That one is part of a power that my assistant Domingo used to call “Esmentiaras”, which I believe translates as ‘it is lies’ or ‘it is lying’. At the time, of course, we just used it as a way to classify books. I call it the Spiral. It deals in fooling the senses, in making you see and hear things that are not there, in drawing you into mazes and making you doubt your own sanity.

ARCHIVIST

Fractals.

LEITNER

Yes. It seems to have a particular fondness for them.

ARCHIVIST

What about bones? Does one of them manifest with, with bones?

LEITNER

[HEAVY SIGH]

You’re thinking too literally. Examining the physical categorisation, but ignoring the meaning of the thing. What are the bones? In the Distortion, your “Michael”, the structure of a skeleton, an established reality in your mind, is twisted and warped into an impossible form. But in other cases? Are they a symbol of slaughter and butchery? Are they the familiar made wrong? Or are they simply part of the messy, physicality of flesh?

[CLICK]

TIM

I think it’s working again.

MARTIN

Tim, where were we?

TIM

…yeah, yeah it’s recording.

MARTIN

Forget the bloody tapes, Tim! Are we sure this is… this is here?

TIM

Yes. Because the tape works now.

MARTIN

How long was it?

TIM

I don’t know. And I don’t care.

MARTIN

Sorry? Sorry, what? How can you not care!?

TIM

Because this is us now. Worms. Monsters. Corridors. They’ll keep happening until one of them kills us, and we’ve just got to deal with it.

[SIGH]

Any sign of the woman?

MARTIN

I don’t think so. We should have helped her.

TIM

No.

MARTIN

But we could have tried!

TIM

How?

MARTIN

…

TIM

Look. There’s no point talking about it. It happened. I hope it doesn’t happen again. Statement fucking ends.

[SILENCE]

MARTIN

We… we should look for John. Maybe we can still help.

TIM

It’s been days. At least.

MARTIN

We can’t just sit here moping!

TIM

It’s probably already killed him.

MARTIN

Don’t joke about that, okay?

TIM

Fine.

MARTIN

Tim!

TIM

Try his office.

MARTIN

Yeah. Right.

[DOOR OPENS TO THE SOUND OF DRIPPING]

John?

Oh. Oh no.

-•-

[MAG 82]

MARTIN

No. No it doesn’t! Nothing about this makes sense!

I don’t know who that old man was, but John would never hurt Sasha.

TIM

Fine. If it wasn’t him, it must have been that thing we saw.

MARTIN

It was only for a second. And what with that weird finger guy, and the door… I mean, it d-didn’t look like her.

TIM

It did. You know it did. Maybe it ate her. Maybe it was her. Maybe she was always some messed up mutant and we just never noticed. Could have been ‘Michael’. I mean, it basically told us it was working with John. When you disappear and there are more than three different ways you might be dea–

-•-

[MAG 85]

(Upon the Stair)

ARCHIVIST

There is, of course, a different reading, which is that this is a targeted warning about trusting Michael, given the obvious parallels: swap out stairways for corridors and spirals for fractals, and there you go. The Nowhere Man thing is new, though. What was it Leitner said about the Spiral? It deals with fooling your senses, drawing your mind into difficult paths, making you doubt the reality you live in.

Well, if this is a warning about Michael, then it is, as before, somewhat superfluous. If I never see him – if I never see it again, it’s too soon.

Maybe that’s it. It. Maybe whoever sent this wants me to consider how many of these creatures used to be people. How many seem to have taken the mantle from the ones that came before them, and how none of them have been able to overcome their new natures. How most of them don’t even seem to think like people anymore. Given that there is every possibility I’ve taken one of these mantles myself, this is not an interpretation I’m keen on.

-•-

[MAG 89]

ARCHIVIST

I don’t suppose I could talk to anyone else in your, um…

JUDE

It’s fine, you can call it a cult. And no, they wouldn’t hesitate. They’re not as friendly as I am.

ARCHIVIST

Well, thank you for the… advice. And the dead end.

JUDE

Wait.

ARCHIVIST

Hmm?

JUDE

If you’re really keen to keep chatting to things that could kill you, I might know someone. We’re not on great terms, he’s closer to your lot than mine, but I know where he… exists.

ARCHIVIST

Who… What is he?

JUDE

Calls himself Mike.

ARCHIVIST

Michael?

JUDE

I guess Mike is normally short for Michael, yeah?

ARCHIVIST

Corridors, weird limbs, laughs like a… headache?

JUDE

What? No. He’s pale, got a big, weird scar. Smells of, um…

ARCHIVIST

Oh, ozone!

JUDE

Yeah, that’s the one. Hangs around with the Fairchilds sometimes.

ARCHIVIST

Michael Crew.

JUDE

That’s him. I know where you can find him.

-•-

[MAG 92]

MARTIN

So that thing we saw…?

ELIAS

Precisely. It finally tried to kill John. Then Leitner killed it. Then I killed Leitner. And I believe that brings us up to date. More or less.

ARCHIVIST

What about Michael?

ELIAS

What about him? An irritant. Interfering because he’s bored, and he resents us. He has no purpose –

DAISY

Right. That’s enough for me. Even got it on tape.

ARCHIVIST

[Signs heavily] So what now?

ELIAS

You were doing fine before you forced this little scene. I suggest you continue.

ARCHIVIST

So it was you sending me statements.

ELIAS

A little bit of direction never hurt anybody. So to speak.

ARCHIVIST

[Chuckles] Directed towards what?

ELIAS

The Unknowing. I need you to stop it.

-•-

[MAG 99]

KNOCKING ON DOOR]

[GERTRUDE GROANS]

[Adopts a somewhat frailer voice] Hello?

[DOOR OPENS]

MICHAEL

Ah, Miss Robinson, I, um, I found Mr. Vargas’ statement that you asked for. Well, uh, I found the translation. I, I already had the original but, y’know, I, I, I didn’t think you’d want it in Spanish. [Nervous chuckles] U-u-unless you speak Spanish?

GERTRUDE

[Somewhat sharply] I do not. And thank you Michael.

MICHAEL

Sure. Um, well, was, was there anything else you needed?

GERTRUDE

Um… No, no. Not at the moment.

Thank you.

MICHAEL

Right, well, if you need me, uh, they’re installing that climate-controlled storage… that thing o-o-over the weekend, so I’m, I’m, y’know, I’m just getting all that together.

GERTRUDE

Yes! Yes, I remember.

MICHAEL

Right.

Well, call me if you need anything.

GERTRUDE

Thank you, Michael, I will.

[DOOR CLOSES]

[CLICK]

ARCHIVIST

I, um… I… Right. Right, I –

My head is… That was Michael. It – it was… It was Michael. H-how… How was it Michael? He – It… It never…

Gertrude knew Michael. He was one of her assistants, but, but, but that doesn’t make any sense. The thing that calls itself Michael, it – it – it doesn’t seem like it was ever human. So what happened to the real Michael? Did –

I mean that’s not really a question, is it? He’s dead, and it’s probably because of Gertrude. I still can’t figure out whose side she was actually on. Or even if she was playing the same game.

Doesn’t matter. Everyone who came close to her… seems like it… it went badly. Her assistants, Gerard, Leitner, Elias, though I don’t think Gertrude had anything to do with his going rotten. But Michael… Did it take that form just to mock me? Knowing that at – at some point I’d look deeper into Gertrude? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU?

…

No. No, never when you call.

Just one door. So many of these stories, these, these people touched by… Once you’re on the path to becoming a monst- an avatar, it looks like it gets more and more unhealthy to be around you. [Heavy sigh] I think… I think I need to lea–

-•-

[MAG 101]

[CLICK]

[STILL RAINING]

[THE ARCHIVIST IS STILL BREATHING]

[STATICKY LAUGHTER FADES INTO HEARING]

[A DIFFERENT DOOR OPENS]

MICHAEL

Oh… Oh… Oh, Archivist. What have you done now? It’s almost sad to see you like this.

ARCHIVIST

[LOW IRRITATED GROAN]

MICHAEL

Almost.

I’ve come to a decision, Archivist. I’m going to kill you.

ARCHIVIST

[FRUSTRATED GROAN]

MICHAEL

It’s earlier than I had hoped, but that’s life… I suppose. Your life. [Giggles] Before I do, however, I want you to understand… even if it does go against my nature. So.

[THE GAG IS REMOVED; THE ARCHIVIST GASPS]

[Enunciating each word carefully] Ask your questions.

ARCHIVIST

What?

MICHAEL

Ask me.

ARCHIVIST

H-How did you find me?

MICHAEL

[Giggles] The Eye watches, and the Stranger conceals, but me… I lie, Archivist. I am the throat of delusion incarnate. They can’t hide you from me.

[GASPS AS THE ARCHIVIST CONTINUES TO RECOVER]

ARCHIVIST

What do you have to do with the Unknowing?

MICHAEL

Nothing. [Giggles] Nothing whatsoever. Except perhaps that I would like it to fail.

ARCHIVIST

So… wh-why are you here?

MICHAEL

I already said. To kill you.

ARCHIVIST

But – but why?

MICHAEL

Because I don’t want the Circus to win. And I don’t want the Archives to, either. Killing you myself… it’s the best of both. And, of course, there’s revenge.

ARCHIVIST

Revenge? I still don’t even know who you are!

MICHAEL

I am Michael. I was not always Michael. I do not want to be Michael. Being Michael stole the only purpose I have ever known.

ARCHIVIST

You were Gertrude’s assistant, weren’t you?

MICHAEL

No.

ARCHIVIST

But, but the tape – I heard you.

MICHAEL

[Slowly] No. You heard Michael.

[FRUSTRATED SOUNDS FROM THE ARCHIVIST]

ARCHIVIST

I… What the hell are you talking about?!

MICHAEL

Quiet, Archivist. The cramped casket sings loud, but not loud enough to drown out screaming. The Michael on that tape was not me. When that person was Michael, I was something else, and now I am Michael, and that person is gone.

ARCHIVIST

So, what… You… you became him?

MICHAEL

No more than he became me. It is rare that someone I take finds their way into being me, but it does happen. And Michael had help.

ARCHIVIST

What happened?

MICHAEL

Hm…

Ahhh, a statement. Of course. Is your recorder running?

Yes. Say it, Archivist.

ARCHIVIST

Statement of… Michael. Taken from subject. Date…

MICHAEL

The last day of the Archivist’s life.

ARCHIVIST

Statement begins.

MICHAEL (STATEMENT)

How far back should it go? To the beginning of me? Centuries? Millennia? How do you define the start of your being when in some ways you have always been? Time is difficult to form. Michael Shelley, though, he is easier to keep track of. He was born. He was pointless. And he should have died. But before that could happen, he went to work for the Magnus Institute – that ivory tower, keeping its prisoners ignorant in pursuit of… knowledge. [Giggles] A dungeon full of idiot watchers. And Michael Shelley was no exception.

When he was in school, he lost a friend to something like me. His friend was named Ryan, but those in power simply called him schizophrenic. I don’t know if he was, but it doesn’t matter. He was so dreadfully afraid his world wasn’t real that to make it so was almost nothing. Michael was there when he was taken; he never got over what he saw. Or didn’t see. After much searching and despair, it drove him into the waiting arms of the Institute, where he met Gertrude Robinson. The Archivist.

Even being what I am, I have rarely seen anyone so adept at distorting the truth as Gertrude Robinson. Michael was protective of the frail old woman he believed her to be. So… so delicate, so forgetful, yet gently wise. He cared for her. He trusted her. And she fed him to me. She made him me to destroy our transcendence. And she did not hesitate.

Poor Michael. He had been on trips for the Institute before. Conferences, investigations, Gertrude had made sure that all her assistants were ready. That none of them would be suspicious if they were told they were going abroad for work. So there was no doubt in his mind, no concern, when she told him that they were travelling to Russia. Perhaps if he’d have stopped to look up their destination, he might have discovered there was no such place as Zemlya Sannikova, but he did not. He trusted her.

Even when they arrived in Dikson, at the edge of the Kara Sea, and they were picked up by a quiet sea captain called Peter Lukas… Even then he trusted her. They travelled north, through cold far more bitter than any Michael had even conceived possible. And do you know what he worried about? [Giggles] He… worried about Gertrude Robinson. About how this poor old woman might cope with the chill. But now she was like iron, and walked with a purpose that Michael had never before seen in her. The water turned to ice as the Arctic approached, and Gertrude’s eyes turned cold.

Then, at last, he began to be afraid. He asked her where they were going and was told again: Zemlya Sannikova. Sannikov Land. There was a great evil, she said, and Michael was going to help her fight it. Am I evil, Archivist? Is a thing evil when it simply obeys its own nature? When it embodies its nature? When that nature is created by those which revile it? Perhaps Gertrude believed so. Michael certainly did. He believed everything she told him.

And it was me they sought to stop. Me and the others of It-Is-Not-What-It-Is. Our Great Twisting. The-Worker-of-Clay had laboured for decades on that contorted, impossible edifice of doors… and stairs… and falsehoods… and smiles. A thousand staring morsels stood, and not one of them believed themselves sane to look upon it. And in the centre, the door that would open to all the places that were never there, was me. I use the word ‘apotheosis’ not because it is correct, but because I can only show you its truth when we are within the passages themselves.

And this is what Michael and Gertrude found when they set foot on Sannikov Land, which does not exist and never has. It was warm, and feeling its reassurance beneath his feet was the last time poor, doomed Michael knew comfort. They walked through the green jungle of that forever-elusive polar island, and up the gentle mountains that can never have a name. And at the top, they found us through our spiralling laughter. And they saw us in all of our glory.

Michael did not go mad, though no words you could have said would have convinced him otherwise. The mind does not shatter, Archivist. It is soft and malleable. It bends and twists and returns to what it was, though what you see and feel may leave their mark upon it. If Michael thought he had lost his mind, it was only because what he saw with crystal clarity was simply not something that could be real.

But Gertrude Robinson did not waver. She did not… hesitate. She gave no indication that she saw anything more or less than was expected. Hers was not a mind that left room for doubt. She stared into us carefully, her eyes scanning for something that was my heart. Looking for my door. And she found it.

Perhaps I should have realised what was happening; seen those two lonely figures approaching me, but I cannot tell you the existential joys of truly… becoming. Of an entireness finally crossing the threshold into your self. So ecstatic was my completeness, I did not even hear my own door creak open. Because Gertrude had told Michael how he could stop us. She told him to walk through a door. And even then, with so much of his mind shut down in panic and terror, he trusted her. And he went inside, closing the door behind him.

But Gertrude Robinson had given poor, disposable Michael one more thing before sending him to me. She had given him a map. I couldn’t say how she would have gotten such a thing, or if she somehow made it. And yet it was a map. A map to me. It made no sense, lines overlapping and inverting, but once within, Michael knew which turns to make, which doors to open, which mirrors to shatter. Until he became me.

Even sharper than the joy of becoming is the agony of being opened and remade. To have your who torn bloody from your what, and another crudely lashed into its place. To become Michael. And to do so at such a crucial point in our Twisting, in our becoming, well of course it destroyed it. The impossible altar collapsed. The-Worker-of-Clay tore out his veins to dissolve himself in crimson mud. The others of us were cast to all the places that aren’t; some have still not found their way out again. And somehow, Gertrude Robinson was back on that boat before Sannikov Land once again never existed.

And all that was left was me. Michael. [Giggles] My very existence tied to my pointlessness. Wearing my failure as the very fabric of my being. Reduced once again to feeding on the unsuspecting and confused. That is who I am.

[DEEP GASP FROM THE ARCHIVIST]

ARCHIVIST

But you… You never tried to take revenge on Gertrude?

MICHAEL

She knew how to protect herself. She knew what she was creating. And killing her was not as important. She wasn’t as good an Archivist as you are.

ARCHIVIST

So why not kill me before?

MICHAEL

I had hoped that you would stop the Unknowing first, destroy the workings of I-Do-Not-Know-You. But instead you are here, and may bring it about faster. So better your death happens now.

ARCHIVIST

I-is there anything I can do to stop you from killing me?

MICHAEL

[Laughs] If you scream loud enough the Circus may take notice of me, but… I promise you will die far more pleasantly with me than with them.

[MORE LAUGHTER]

Ah…

[RAIN CONTINUES TO FALL]

ARCHIVIST

…

[Defeated] Okay.

MICHAEL

Good. Right this way.

[A DOOR CREAKS]

Open it. Open it, and all this will be over.

[THE ARCHIVIST TURNS THE HANDLE AND HEARS AN ENGAGED LOCK]

ARCHIVIST

Er, it’s…

[HANDLE IS TRIED TWICE MORE]

MICHAEL

What?

ARCHIVIST

It’s locked.

MICHAEL

It’s not. [Giggles]

ARCHIVIST

Why is it locked?

MICHAEL

It can’t be!

ARCHIVIST

Well, you try it!

[FRANTIC HANDLE TURNING – THE LOCK CONTINUES TO CLICK]

MICHAEL

[Worried] Th-Tha-That-That’s… not –

[Realisation dawns] Oh. Oh no.

[DISTORTED SCREAMS OF PAINFUL AND TERMINAL OPENING]

[THE NEW DOOR CREAKS OPEN]

[End of Michael]

youtube

^Every voice line from him

#the magnus archives #tma #tma michael #michael the distortion #plz lmk if theres any i should add like #from the original i guess #Youtube #self spaghettification

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cest-la-vieve · 2 years ago

Text

A Court of Pain and Pleasure (Ch. 13)

Summary: Evelyn faces the consequences of both her kiss with Azriel and the deal she made to train with him.

Word Count: 7k

Warnings: Chronic disability/pain, cussing, fluff, mentions of violence

Notes: i had a heck of a time writing this. thank you to all my lovely friends who offered to proofread and help me work through some of the kinks. i hope y'all enjoy !

Next Chapter: Chapter Fourteen

ACOPAP Masterlist

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Dinner was… awkward, to say the least.

Cassian kept sneaking glances between Azriel and me, ranging from confusion to protectiveness to this smug smirk I wanted nothing more than to wipe off his face.

Then there was Feyre and Lucien, off to the side chatting about… something. I couldn’t focus on listening to their conversation since all of my attention was on avoiding Azriel at all costs.

That kiss changed my life.

I had never experienced anything that had called to my very soul the way that kiss had, as brief as it had been.

The way his lips had slotted against mine, his hands oh-so-gently placed on my hips, and the perfect way our bodies fit together - like two puzzle pieces that had just been waiting to find each other.

All I wanted was to live in that moment forever. Well, actually, maybe not that moment just because I was so, so desperate to see what would have happened in the moments after if it hadn’t been for -

Cassian.

I glared at his back from where I sat on the couch. He was standing with Azriel and Rhysand off to the side, doing their best to ignore Nesta’s arrival.

I took a long sip from my glass of wine, shaking my head slightly at the strength of it. Maybe if I drank enough I wouldn’t have to worry about the consequences of that kiss.

As if sensing my narrowed gaze, Cassian turned toward me. He took in my sour expression and sent me a wink, causing me to furrow my eyebrows even further. I could only hope he wasn’t planning on continuing his little game of tormenting me with what he had seen.

Of course, his attention was split between torturing me and panting after my sister. The thought alone brought a small smile to my face. Now at least I had something to hold over his head.

I turned my head away from the males and smiled as Mor fussed over Nesta’s dress. My sister would never admit it but I knew she loved the finery - something she missed while we were in that cabin. The Fae took extravagant clothes to a whole new level.

“It’s a good thing we’re not the same size - or else I might be tempted to steal that dress,” I heard Mor say and I giggled into my glass of wine.

Nesta took in the Fae female, looking her up and down, before saying, “Fortunately for you, I don’t return the sentiment.”

I covered my mouth with a hand, stifling the snort of air that escaped my nose, at the same time Azriel coughed into his glass of wine. Our eyes met but I quickly ducked my head, unwilling to see what emotion his face held.

I raised my glass in solidarity as Mor said to Feyre, “I think we’re going to need a lot more wine.”

Cassian quickly stated his intent to raid whatever massive collection Rhys surely had hidden somewhere. I didn’t miss the way Nesta stiffened at his exit and made a mental note to ask her about it the next time we talked.

When was the last time we talked? When I woke up, I realized with a start. It felt like a lifetime ago. I’d have to make the time to check in with both her and Elain.

I watched Feyre sit next to Nesta at the table, Amren joining them a moment later. Cassian returned with the wine and I beckoned him over.

I vaguely heard Nesta interrogating Amren in the background, but couldn’t find it in myself to care as I finished off the last of the wine in my glass.

Cassian chuckled softly, “Maybe you should take it easy.”

“It’s your fault I’m trying to forget my own name,” I snorted.

He shrugged. “Maybe not my fault,” he teased with a pointed glance towards Azriel, who looked torn between finding out what Cassian and I were talking about and listening to Nesta.

Cassian poured me a bit more wine but stopped as he heard Nesta ask, “And what is beneath?”

I froze as well, knowing it wasn’t wise for my eldest sister to speak so nonchalantly to the most powerful being in this room.

Amren paused before answering, “They never dared ask me that, either.”

“Why.” demanded Nesta.

“Because it is not polite to ask - and they are afraid.”

A staring contest ensued then, one I was not particularly inclined to watch. I took a slow slip of my drink, staring at Azriel over the rim, trying my best to be inconspicuous. Thankfully, his attention was wholly fixated on the exchange between Nesta and Amren. I wondered if he meant to intervene or simply observe.

“We’re the same, you and I. Not in the flesh, not in the thing that prowls beneath our skin and bones… But… I see the kernel, girl,” Amren explained to Nesta, who had gone still enough that she could have been a statue. “You did not fit - the mold that they shoved you into. The path you were born upon and forced to walk. You tried, and yet you did not, could not, fit. And then the path changed. I know - what it is to be that way. I remember it, long ago as it was.”

I took a deep breath. What had she seen in my sister that I hadn’t? Yes, it was definitely time to have a longer conversation with Nesta.

I heard Rhysand intervene to break the tension and stood on unsteady legs to walk towards the table. I watched with wary eyes as everyone took their seats, carefully noting where Azriel and Cassian sat at one end.

Lucien remained standing next to me as well. He glanced to me, questioning his next move, then to Rhys, frowning. “I- shouldn’t you sit at the head?”

A drunken giggle left my mouth at the absurdity of it. Clearly, the male didn’t know the High Lord very well. I ignored the way all the heads in the room snapped towards me at the sound of my laugh as Lucien continued to flounder between the seat at the head and the seat across from Nesta.

“I don’t care where you sit. I only care about eating something right now.” Rhys said, snapping to summon the food to the table.

Lucien remained standing.

“Oh for gods’ sake if you won’t take it, I will,” I finally sighed out, pushing past the green-clad male and stumbling into the seat across from my sister. Nesta sent a disapproving frown my way, clearly not happy with my level of intoxication. I just grinned back at her and took another swig of wine.

My head spun a bit as the smells of the various foods hit my senses. I ignored the way the room seemed to spin a bit and focused on the lack of stress weighing down my shoulders. I flicked my eye to Nesta - to two Nestas. Maybe I should slow down on the wine.

Lucien finally sat next to me, claiming his spot at the head of the table, as Feyre leaned forward to tell him, “You get used to it- the informality.”

Rhys sent a teasing jab her way before she elaborated, “It took me by surprise that first dinner we all had, just so you know. Honestly, Azriel is the only polite one.”

I stiffened. Next to me, Amren sent a sidelong glance my way. I couldn’t tear my eyes away as Azriel smiled faintly, shyly before taking food for his plate.

“As you wish.”

His appeasing, imploring words came back to me and swirled around my head. Polite, indeed.

Feyre’s voice cut through the haze in my mind as she asked Cassian, “What time are we back in the training ring tomorrow?”

I nearly laughed at the exasperation on my sister’s face as the Illyrian general responded that he wanted her there at 7 in the morning.

Azriel’s quiet but assertive voice found me from the other end of the table. “That means you, too, Evelyn.”

I couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe, as I found the shadowsinger leaning forward to make eye contact with me. His face was impressively blank, revealing none of his thoughts as he continued to look at me. He quirked an eyebrow and cleared his throat and I realized he was waiting for a response.

What had he said? What were we talking about?

Oh, yes. Training. Morning.

I groaned and threw my head into my hands. I had forgotten that moments before… it… Azriel had agreed to train me. Which meant I now had to get up early and spend gods knows how long training with the male I had just kissed.

Laughs echoed around the table at my reaction, taking it as my displeasure at having to be awake, but Cassian gave me a knowing smirk. I just glared daggers at him, wishing that the Cauldron had given me the power to skewer someone with my eyes.

I mentally berated myself as the other resumed their teasing, something about Cassian and Azriel wanting ‘prettiness’ to look at, though I doubt Azriel had been a part of that conversation at all.

I snapped my head up as Rhysand confirmed that he sent out invitations to all the High Lords to schedule a meeting to discuss the war.

I stood up, careening to one side as the room seemed to move beneath my feet. Lucien’s cautious hand darted out from his spot at the head of the table next to me to steady me on my feet. Once I wasn’t at risk of falling, I giggled and patted Lucien’s head in thanks, ignoring his bewildered and slightly offended look. The scene had effectively distracted everyone from Rhysand’s declaration. I cleared my throat, “I suppose this means you are going to begin that dreadful politicking of yours, which means it’s time for me to find somewhere else to be. At least until you all decide to discuss something more interesting.”

Feyre narrowed her eyes but Rhys gave me a smile. “How about I come to debrief you of the interesting bits once we finish our ‘dreadful politicking’, dear sister?” he asked.

My chest warmed at the title, realizing my insistence that he was now part of my family had finally settled in. Nesta, however, scoffed quietly and glared at me. Shit. I should have known she wouldn’t approve of that.

“I’ll be waiting, your High Lord-ship,” I curtsied, laughing as my hair fell in my face at the movement. I straightened myself out, smiling wide as I looked at Rhys.

He laughed, waving me off with his hand. I grabbed my glass of wine and made to leave the room. As I passed Cassian, however, a strong arm shot out to bar my way. I let out a noise of protest as my waist slammed into his arm. He just used his other hand to grab the wine from me, “I think that’s plenty, kid.”

I huffed and crossed my arms, but nodded. He retracted his arm and I continued my walk to the doorway, noting the angry swirling of shadows behind Azriel. I couldn’t begin to imagine what had upset him so much.

I sighed, stopping in the kitchen to grab a glass of water, figuring it might help the impending headache of tomorrow morning. I slowly made my way up the stairs, making sure both feet were firm on the step before moving to the next one. I laughed under my breath at each step, my head feeling fuzzy and my feet feeling heavy. I sighed in relief as I made it to the hallway. The glass of water in my hand miraculously hadn’t spilled any on the way up and as I took sips of it I could slowly feel my head clearing.

I paused as I passed Azriel’s bedroom. I glanced between the door and the sounds of conversation coming from downstairs…

I shouldn’t… Really, I absolutely shouldn’t.

The logical part of my brain screamed at me as the drunk part took over, moving my hand to the doorknob of its own volition.

I inhaled deeply as the door opened, taking a step inside. It smelled so much like him that it overwhelmed my senses. That cedar smell reminded me of sitting in the gardens of our estate as a child. The cedar forest had been planted centuries ago and bordered the far edge of our land. I didn’t remember much from those days before our father lost his wealth but I’ll always remember sneaking off to sit on the edge of the woods, listening to the birds, and waiting eagerly to maybe see a deer.

It smelled like home.

I exhaled in relief and felt the tension leave my body. I realized I hadn’t really taken a second to just breathe since the panic of earlier. So much had happened so quickly and with this High Lords meeting on the horizon, it seemed like they were going to continue to.

I didn’t protest as my drunken fit led me over to the - of course, immaculately made - bed and sat me down on the edge.

If I had been more focused, perhaps more sober, I would have noticed the shadows that crept through the open door and throughout the room. If I had, it’s likely I would have very quickly made my escape and gone to my own room before the person they reported to returned.

But I was drunk.

And I reveled in the way the scent wafted in the room and calmed my senses.

So I put down my water and curled up on my side, letting my body and mind relax. I held the pillow close that smelled so strongly of the male that I just couldn’t seem to shake - not that I wanted to.

I fell asleep more peaceful and content than I had ever been in my life.

I blinked awake as the sunlight began filtering through the windows. I yawned, stretching my arms and legs before softly groaning as the stiffness of my muscles faded away.

I sat up slowly, wincing at the slight headache in my temples. Right. Wine.

An unfamiliar blanket was now bunched at my waist. I closed my eyes and racked my brain to remember what had happened after I left dinner last night.

I was supposed to go back to my room and wait for Rhys to fill me in. But I didn’t make it to my room. I cracked open my left eye just to confirm my suspicions. Yep, definitely not my room.

Which means… I blushed as I realized Azriel must have found me here once he retired from dinner. Oh, gods and training!

I whipped my head to the window, realizing that I was likely running late.

Pushing aside my embarrassment, I padded my way down the hallway to my room. I dug through the drawers, finding some fitted pants, a loose-fitting shirt, and a binding for my chest that was designed with exercise in mind.

I took off up the stairs to the roof, panting slightly when I finally burst outside.

I was surprised to find just Cassian standing off to the side of the training ring. I caught my breath and straightened. Narrowing my eyes in suspicion, I cautiously approached the Illyrian general.

“Is this a setup?”

He laughed and set down the sword he had been cleaning. I immediately went to grab it but he stepped in front of it before I could. His eyes twinkled in amusement, “What exactly are you planning on doing with that?”

I crossed my arms, speaking slowly, as you would to a child. “It’s a sword. It stabs. I was going to stab you.”

“I’d like to see you try,” I made to step around him and show him just how lethal I could be, but he moved in my way again. “But I’m not your trainer. He is.” He nodded his chin behind me.

My spine straightened. My pulse quickened. The tips of my ears warmed.

I turned slowly.

Azriel stood across the training ring, eyebrows raised in - amusement? Question? I couldn’t tell.

His posture mirrored mine, arms crossed and shoulders square but he held a grace and power that I’m sure mine lacked.

Determined not to let anything phase me, I bounced on the balls of my feet over to him, still keeping a good distance between us. I stood ramrod straight and held up one hand in a mock salute. “Where do we start, Spymaster?”

He hadn’t moved an inch. Feyre had mentioned at some point that the Fae were able to go so still it was preternatural. Clearly, Azriel had used his 500 years to perfect it.

I lowered my arm, relaxed my stance, and tilted my head in question. His eyes tracked every movement but still, he said nothing.

I whirled around to Cassian, asking, “Is this some sort of hazing ritual? Or a test of some sort?”

Cassian just shrugged.

When I turned back to face the shadowsinger, that stillness had gone but his eyes remained distant. Concern punctured my chest just as surely as any blade. “Azriel?”

His gaze focused and he seemed to return to himself. He cleared his throat and uncrossed his arms, offering one hand out to me.

“Is this a setup?” I eyed his hand with suspicion.

“No,” he answered, voice full of mirth at my wariness. “We’re not training here, so we have to fly to where we are training. Considering you still don’t know how to fly…” He finished by gesturing with his outstretched hand.

“Well, where are we going?” I put my hands on my hips.

His teasing edge hardened into exasperation as he sighed, finally dropping his hand. “Evelyn, we’re going to train. And what we’re doing can’t be done here. Especially with them-” His head nodded to Feyre and Cassian, the former must have snuck out here while I was distracted - “taking up the entire roof.”

At that, Cassian glared at Azriel. “Have fun training, you two,” he said oh-so-subtly.

I flipped him a finger unsuitable for a lady. I grabbed Azriel’s hand in my own and said, “Just get us out of here.”

He smiled and took off into the sky before I could even blink. I could still feel my stomach dropping as his powerful wings beat, pushing us closer to the mystery destination. My eyes were screwed shut and I clung to him so tightly I would have worried about bruising him if he weren’t Fae.

A soft chuckle sounded in my ear.

“Don’t start with me, Az,” I ground out, careful to take breaths so my stomach wouldn’t empty its contents. “Between you and Cassian, it’s a miracle Rhys has lived this long without losing his sanity.”

His arms squeezed me tighter. Ignoring my comment he said quietly, “Open your eyes.”

I shook my head feverishly against his shoulder.

“I won’t land until you do.”

Cad.

“Fine but if I vomit on you I won’t apologize.”

At his silence, I cracked open my right eye, only looking at his face for a second before closing it again.

“There.”

“Eve.”

It was the way he said my name. The reverence it held, as if I weren’t me, a lost, ordinary female, but instead a goddess who he was asking for a miracle. Begging for one.

He wanted me to see this. It was important to him.

So I bit down on that fear that caught in my throat and opened both eyes before my brain had a chance to process it.

If it was possible, I held on to Azriel even tighter, both arms wrapped around his neck, probably cutting off some measure of his airflow. If it bothered him, he didn’t say anything.

I forced my head from his shoulder and gasped at the sight.

Velaris spread underneath us. I could just barely make out the figures of the Fae and faeries below us beginning to set up their various shops for the day or run their morning errands.

It wasn’t the city that enchanted me though - it was what surrounded it. Mountains reached far beyond what I could see from here, some capped with snow and others featuring jagged rocks. Trees covered what the city and mountain did not, making it look like we were flying over a vast green ocean as they rippled in the wind, mimicking waves.

It felt different than any place I had seen before. Even more comfortable and beautiful than the gardens of our estate.

If it wasn’t for the flying part, I’d want to stay up here forever just to calm my soul and enjoy the view.

“It’s beautiful,” I confessed to Azriel.

He didn’t take his eyes off of it as he responded, “It’s home.”

Home. I repeated the word and savored the way it made me think of my sister and this beautiful place she now lived in. Maybe this could be home.

I closed my eyes again as Azriel began descending, deciding maybe it would make me feel less queasy if I couldn’t see what was going on. I’m sure the wine last night hadn’t done me any favors in terms of nausea today.

I cracked one eye open as I felt us slowing down.

We landed in a river. Seriously. Azriel landed in the middle of a river.

I shrieked and used only the strength of my arms around his neck to hold my body up as I bent my legs to avoid the water. Azriel laughed and hooked one of his arms under my knees to keep me out of the water. It wasn’t easy, considering the water came up to his waist, but he managed to keep me dry.

The water didn’t seem to bother him as he carefully grabbed my waist, lifting me up slightly, almost like I had seen dancers do at the theater. I didn’t have time to voice my question before he planted my feet on a small rock that was jutting out of the river.

I waved my arms, struggling to get my balance. Once I did, I felt his grip loosen on my hips before disappearing completely. I heard the flap of his wings as he used them to jump onto the bank of the river gracefully.

I tried to turn my body towards him, to ask what the hell he thought he was doing, but the rock was just as wide as my feet pressed together. Any movement could cause me to fall into the river which I really, really did not want to do. Beyond getting my clothes wet, I knew from my run yesterday that the water here was not an agreeable temperature.

I carefully shuffled my feet, thankful that the rock was dry as the smooth surface was hard enough to balance on without it also being slippery. I also sighed in relief that it was a foot or two above the water. Slowly, I managed to turn to where Azriel lounged on the bank.

Sitting on a tree stump, fiddling with a knife, one leg propped by its ankle on his other knee, he was the picture of smugness.

I scowled at him. “Azriel, what the hell is this?”

“Training,” came his slightly shouted reply.

I raised my voice to be heard over the babbling of the river, “How in the Mother’s name is this training?”

He grabbed an apple out of a small bag I hadn’t noticed him carrying and began peeling it with his knife.

“Don’t fall.”

“What?”

“The training is: don’t fall.”

“What is this supposed to teach me other than you’re a massive prick,” I shouted, getting frustrated with his nonchalance.

He stood slowly, coming to stand closer to where the water was rushing past. He grinned. And it wasn’t the grin I had come to adore, this was a grin full of mischief and conspiracy.

“You’ve never had Fae balance before. In any fight, having the right footing and being aware of your body is the difference between life and death. Since you don’t understand how your new body moves, you don’t know how it balances. Thus, don’t fall.”

I stared at him incredulously. “What about when the tide rises?”

He just shrugged.

“How long am I supposed to do this?” I glanced warily down at my feet, watching the water run by on either side of their positioning on the rock.

Another shrug. “Cassian’s record is a day and a half but I’m not expecting you’ll last much longer than 15 minutes.”

At that, I puffed up my chest and squared my shoulders. 15 minutes? That’s what he thought I was capable of?

I stared him right in the eye, “Prepare yourself to be here for a while then, shadowsinger.”

I settled in, trying to equally distribute my weight between my legs. I kept my gaze focused on Azriel and sorted through my brain for things I could think about to pass the time.

I ran through the plot of one of my favorite books, trying to remember quotes and the accurate order of events. It played out in my head like I was there, fighting monsters and watching an epic romance unfold.

Once I had finished my “book” I blinked back into conscious thought. “Time?” I asked.

“10 minutes.”

I groaned. I tried my best to bend my knees which had begun to stiffen but couldn’t do much beyond a small squat, fearful of falling.

“You know, if your legs are stiff, you could try bending them one at a time,” the suggestion rang out from the shore.

I gritted my teeth. I had never stood on one leg before. I’d always been too weak or in too much pain. Of course, I could do it briefly, but for the amount of time it would take to adequately stretch a leg?

I slowly eased more weight onto my left side, keeping only some in the toes of my right foot. Then, I began to bend my right leg up, as carefully and slowly as I could. I bent my knee, interlocking my fingers around my knee to hold it up for a few moments.

I smiled triumphantly. I looked at Azriel once I was certain I wasn’t going to fall.

Even from this distance, I could have sworn that I felt his pride and approval radiating through me. I ducked my head down to hide my smile - and blush - at the thought.

I let go of my right leg, dropping it back to the stone, only flailing my arms slightly to regain my balance. I repeated the entire process with the left leg, sighing in relief at the movement that brought the blood flow through my stiff muscles. ‘

By the time I had both feet back on the rock, I felt comfortable enough to bend my legs one at a time with my feet firmly planted on the rock. I probably looked ridiculous bending side to side as I shifted my weight around but I didn’t care.

I was determined to stand on here until I couldn’t anymore.

“15,” the time rang out in Azriel’s voice.

I grinned. “I told you I could make it 15 minutes.”

“Let’s see if you can make it 15 more,” the challenge was clear, taunting.

A middle finger was my only response.

After about 5 more minutes of shifting my feet and standing in silence, I began waving at Azriel, who was now sitting on the ground, leaning against the stump. He still had his knife out though I couldn’t begin to see what he was doing with it.

Eventually, he noticed my movement and raised his attention from his little project to look at me. “Yes, Evelyn?”

“Tell me a story.”

He started. “What?”

“You heard me, a story. If I’m going to stand out here in silence for much longer my brain will rot.”

He looked at me in disbelief, caught off guard by my question. “I don’t have any stories.”

Scoffing, I tossed my hair over one shoulder, nearly slipping my left foot a little too far forward in the process. “You’re five centuries old, of course you have stories.”

“Not any good ones.”

I studied him. His shoulders had hunched forward and that teasing light had gone out of his eyes. He looked… haunted. I cursed myself for broaching the topic, unsure of what exactly plagued his memory.

I longed to reach out a hand to his shoulder to comfort him. “That’s okay, you don’t have to.”

He shook his head, his hair curling into his face. He bent his legs, spreading them wide so he could comfortably place his elbows on his knees. His practiced hands flipped the knife back and forth in a show so mesmerizing I couldn’t look away.

“It’s not that I don’t want to tell you a story. It’s that every story about my life doesn’t come with a happy ending.”

“Every ending is a happy ending,” I responded automatically. Even though his head was down, I saw the confused scrunch of his eyebrows, so I continued, “Either you’re happy it’s over or you’re happy it happened.”

When he remained silent, I elaborated, “For example, I will be ever so happy when this little training exercise is over,” I stretched a leg behind me for emphasis, “And even though I’ll be sad I don’t get to annoy you anymore, I’ll be happy I enjoyed annoying you enough that I’ll miss it.”

He nodded his head slowly, processing what I said. But still, he insisted, “You don’t want to hear my stories, Evelyn.”

“I do,” I urged him, pleading as much as I could. “They’re about you, how could I not want to hear them?”

At this, he snapped his head up. His hazel eyes met mine and then blinked slowly. Once. Twice. “Really?”

And for a second I forgot I was talking to one of the most feared people on this planet - in this realm. This wasn’t the facade of the terrifying Spymaster of the Night Court nor the imposing shadowsinger, rippling in darkness. At that moment, I was talking to someone who had never had someone take a genuine interest in them. He was… broken. And so was I.

“Really.” I said with a small smile, hoping to convey some part of the emotion that was overwhelming me.

He offered a small smile of his own. “Well, there was the time Cassian got banned from the Summer Court.”

My mouth fell open and I nearly tumbled off the rock in shock

He smiled then, broad and genuine.

And so it continued. Stories fell from his lips nearly too fast for my mind to keep up. The annual snowball fight, the time Mor nearly broke the bank of the Night Court on dresses and wine, when he traveled to the other courts for missions, and even small stories of his time in the war.

I hung on his every word, noting how his expression changed as he recalled the different events - sometimes smiling to himself fondly, others setting his face in a grim mask.

Soon enough, I began telling stories of my own. The time Elain and I as children had chased each other around the kitchen table until she ran into the corner of it, effectively cutting her forehead open, but not deep enough to scar. Or when Nesta and I had raided our mother’s closet, trying on dresses and shoes that were much too big for us.

He listened intently to each story, asking clarifying questions and laughing when I told him something particularly mortifying like my first kiss or the first time I had gone to the local pub by myself. I didn’t miss the pride on his face as I told him of my barfight and what I’d done to the men who got a little too handsy. Every so often, he’d pointedly glance towards my legs, wordlessly reminding me to stretch them.

We had both finished laughing about him and his brothers being forced to climb the stairs at the House of Wind when we fell into a comfortable silence. He tilted his head up to the sky and closed his eyes, basking in the warmth.

“An hour,” his soft voice gave the time check.

“An hour.” I repeated it in awe, looking down at my legs. When was the last time I’d been on my feet for an hour? Probably never.

Azriel sat up from where he had laid on the bank, spreading his wings so he could prop himself up on his elbows. “You know, princess, you’ve more than proven your point. I’ll pick you up so you don’t have to swim.”

Ignoring the butterflies in my stomach at the nickname, I protested, “I’m no princess. And I’m going to stay here until I fall over.”

“Your sister’s the first High Lady,” he pointed out. “I’d argue that’s as close to a princess as you can get in Prythian.”

I snorted, stretching a leg out to the side. “And what about my behavior, exactly, screams princess to you?”

I waited for the inevitable “nothing”, waiting for the comments about how boring I am, especially compared to my sisters. But instead, I got-

“Everything. You’re intelligent, kind, and you’re always trying to better yourself. Plus, you care about people, even the people… even the people no one else notices,” he avoided my gaze as he finished.

My heart softened. Before I could stop myself, the words slipped out, “Who did this to you?”

At that, he sat up fully. “What?”

“I- Well, I…” I stopped. I hadn’t meant to say that out loud, but now that I thought about it… My body slowly began to shake in anger. He’d been alive for 500 years and for him to still be clinging on to this sense that he wasn’t enough, that nobody cared…

I felt the surety of it in my bones. He’d never feel that way again. I repeated myself, this time making it a demand, not a question “Who did this to you.”

“Evelyn, I don’t…” he sighed, running a hand through his hair. I watched the internal debate as he decided what to tell me. It didn’t matter. I’d find out and when I finished with them, there’d be nothing left.

I felt it then, that power that filled my soul and focused all of my rage. I let it rise, tingle just below the surface of my skin. How dare they? How dare they take such a caring, thoughtful male and make him feel as though he was worth nothing?

“Evelyn!”

I blinked, the anger temporarily abating. I took a deep breath and focused on my footing, letting it anchor me to myself, my body.

I looked at Azriel, pacing the shore. “I- what happened?”

He let out a sigh of relief. “You were channeling it. The Illyrian power.”

My cheeks reddened in shame.

“What happened?”

I blanched then and felt my palms get clammy as I thought about telling him how defensive of him I was. I needed a distraction. Anything.

I looked down at my feet and saw that the tide had come in. The water was just starting to lap at the heels of my shoes. That also meant that the river would now be far over my head if I were to fall in. I smiled to myself, a plan slowly taking form in my mind. I’d have to time it just right and if I could just make him think that it wasn’t on purpose…

“I was thinking about-” I made a show of losing my footing before falling into the river. “Az!”

I gasped as the icy water nipped at my skin. I pushed my way to the surface, thankful the current wasn’t that strong. Azriel stood frozen on the very edge of the river, frantically looking for where I would surface.

“Az!” I shouted, going under before popping back up. “I can’t swim!”

As I let myself go back under the water, I laughed at the panicked look on his face the second he understood what I had yelled.

I held my breath for as long as I could, using just enough force to keep myself in place. Within seconds, those familiar arms wrapped around my waist and hoisted me back up into the air.

I coughed pathetically, clasping a hand to my chest as Azriel held me in his arms. Even standing at his full height, the water was now up to his chest.

I lolled my head back, feigning weakness, and locked eyes with him. I nearly lost my composure at the absolute chaos plastered across his face. His eyes were wide, pupils were blown. His wet hair stuck in curls on his forehead. His breathing came in shallow pants, adrenaline forcing his body into overdrive.

“Evelyn, I am so sorry. I had no idea or I wouldn’t have- This was a stupid exercise and I should’ve asked,” he rushed his words, one tripping over the next, as he tried to apologize.

He finally took a deep breath to calm down and looked me over. I held it in for as long as I could but-

I burst into giggles.

His gorgeous face went from concerned to confused to completely murderous.

“You wicked, evil female,” his eyes sparkled like the night sky.

I went to retort but found myself flying through the air and plummeting back into the water.

I pushed myself off the bottom, treading to keep my head above water. Sputtering, I looked incredulously at the male who now stood smugly in front of my stone perch.

I splashed water at him.

And, like a petulant child, the Spymaster of the Night Court splashed me back.

I fell onto my back and kicked as hard as I could, sending a spray of water in his direction. He moved to splash me again but I took off, swimming with the current as fast as I could.

I heard him cuss softly under his breath before he was launching himself after me. I laughed over my shoulder, hardly feeling the cold bite of the water as I swam. The muscles in my legs screamed in joy at the feeling of being used after standing still for so long.

I made it farther than I thought I would when I felt a gentle yet firm hand wrap around one of my ankles. I put up a weak fight, realizing just how tired my body was and how little I actually wanted to get away from him.

He pulled me into his embrace and I sent a small splash of water his way, not enough to even reach up to his neck. He smiled as I continued to struggle, at this point just being stubborn that I actually couldn’t maneuver out of his hold.

I frowned before giving up completely. He relinquished his hold on me but I squeaked and grabbed onto his shoulders.

He stood firm against the gentle current but I didn’t feel like treading water to keep myself near him. Azriel seemed to get the message as rested a hand on my waist again to hold me in place.

I looked him over. His face, water still dripping down it from the strands of hair perched there, his arms, his broad shoulders, and his wings-

“Doesn’t it bother them?” My voice came out in a little more than a whisper.

It was enough to snap him out of his reverie and he glanced over his shoulder, flexing his wings slightly, before whispering back, “My siphons,” they flared in response, “I can concentrate the energy enough to create a sort of shield.”

I hummed appreciatively in response and reached a hand out.

He stiffened and I froze.

“May I?”

He seemed torn but nodded.

Gently, I ran a fingertip along the top of his wing.

His whole body shuddered and he tipped his head back with a sigh.

“Azriel,” it came out breathless but I couldn’t help it.

His eyes opened and met mine at the word. His gaze was dark and filled with something I hadn’t seen in his eyes before.

I brought my hand back from his wing and moved it to brush a stray piece of hair from his forehead. Around us, the river ran higher, up to Azriel’s shoulders now, but the cold was gone. A faint blue light emanated from his siphons and I knew he was somehow keeping us warm.

I settled my hand on his cheek, relishing the feel of his skin under my fingertips and the way he leaned his head into my palm. The entire world had faded away to this moment, every breath felt like a lifetime.

I waited, part of me was still unsure about this whole situation. Part of me - the human part, perhaps - screamed that maybe this was too much, too fast.

But then his eyes widened a bit, pleading, and he begged - begged - “Just kiss me, Evelyn. Please.”

I was helpless to do anything but fulfill his wish. I was his, so utterly and completely his.

And even if this was just a moment, if this was the moment that I’d have to remind myself to just be happy that it happened when it ended, it was enough. He would always be enough. Every moment with him was a happy ending. I so desperately miss and cherish each one when they’re over.

I smiled, running my hand through his hair, I said, “As you wish.”

Taglist: @mis-lil-red @ambivertedcroissant @reareaikea @biblophilefox82 @in-some-fandoms @hollyismentallyillhelp @donttellmehowtowrite @issybee0611 @vera0124 @juulle987 @bankerfrog @pricklepearbloom @sevikas-whore

#acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf #azriel shadowsinger #azriel x reader #azriel x ofc #azriel

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delfiore · 3 years ago

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can’t give you my soul ‘cause we’re never alone

pairing: hailee steinfeld x reader

synopsis: at a party you didn’t want to attend to begin with, you encounter an ex whom you wish you had treated better.

word count: 1.5k

a/n: i’m baaaaack!! ok, i have a good excuse this time; i moved halfway across the world to the us a couple of weeks ago, so ya :3 this is a quick word vomit to get me back into the flow of writing.

ruby’s face cast is alexa demie.

now playing:

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As much as you hated it, you were sipping some drinks at a party hosted by some rapper you’ve once heard of. You hated that something that used to be fun — partying — turned into another place to network and form connections. That was the life of a record producer, you assumed.

“Come on, Y/N! I want you to meet someone.” You friend, Dom, who had invited you to the event, was ever eager to drag you off somewhere, to meet another rising star in need of a producer to work with.

“Y/N, I want you to meet Ruby. She’s an incredible vocalist, and I think you guys would work really well together.”

Ruby flashed you a smile that told you she was acting coy, and extended a hand for you to shake.

“Pleasure.” You said, mirroring her smile.

“The pleasure’s all mine. I love your work and they always seem to have that something that sounds like you. Like a watermark, I guess.”

“Thanks, it’s probably just that one synth sound I always throw in there.”

That made Ruby throw her head back and laugh, maybe a little too hard.

“You’re too funny.” She then grabbed your hand and slowly put it around her waist. “Wanna dance?”

You gave your friend a call-for-help glance, but he only shrugged and grinned at you.

It was obvious from the start that Ruby only wanted to dance with you to get in your favor. You couldn’t blame her though; the industry was cutthroat, and sometimes people move ahead by doing things we might not all be proud of. It was the way things were.

“Don’t sell yourself short, hon.” You whispered in her ear, when she turned and pressed her back against you. “Send me a demo and we’ll see from there, okay?”

Your eyes scanned the room, and your heart dropped. You did a double take before separating yourself from Ruby.

“Lovely meeting you, Ruby.” You said formally, and handed her a business card you had in your back pocket.

Your eyes weren’t fooling you. They really were those long, dark locks and warm, pretty eyes that you remembered. Even from across the room, you would still be able to recognize her.

Her, your one and only. Your romance ended too soon, and you regretted everyday, because as much as you didn’t want to admit it, you thought about her everyday.

You pushed past a few partygoers towards her. Her bright smile faded the second her eyes landed on you. You suddenly felt self-conscious and stopped. You hated that she felt tense around you. You used to be the person she bared all of her secrets too.

You almost missed it when she quietly excused herself from her group of friends and slipped past them towards the back exit. You promptly followed her.

She was just as beautiful as you remembered.

“I heard the new album.” You finally said, when you both had moved to a quieter spot. “It’s really good.”

She only kept her eyes on the ground, aloof nods as she took another sip from her drink.

You wanted to say that you had wanted this for her ever since you met to work with her on ‘Afterlife’, then her next EP, during which you realized you had fallen in love with the girl behind the pop star and actress. During a session late at night, you remembered her hand enclosing yours after a particular funny comment you had made that made her laugh, and it made you stop to take her in.

You didn’t want to say anything that was going to offend her, and figured not talking at all would be the best course of action.

Some people walked past, but it was a spot behind the house that was barely lit by the blue of the pool, so it was just you and her.

You leaned against the wall, staring ahead to think about how to make this less awkward.

“Can I ask you something?” She spoke first.

“Yeah.”

“Did you ever feel unhappy when we were together?”

You knew where this was going, and you knew her. She would blame herself for everything first before she found a fault in others. You admired her kindness and compassion, and you wished that you had recognized it sooner.

“No.” You said, and looked down at your feet. “It had nothing to do with you.”

She didn’t response, only nodded, as she hunched over and brought her hand to her head.

��I think I might had a drink too much.” She laughed quietly.

“Are you alright?” You quickly stepped to her side. “Let me take you home.”

“Y/N, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“No, I promise. I just want you to get home safe.”

You ordered a cab for the both of you. You didn’t miss the way Dom shot you a warning look on your way to the car. You didn’t say a word during the ride, only glancing once in a while over when you thought she wasn’t looking. But one time, she did. Her head lolled against the seat, already watching you with hooded eyes. You let her eyes linger, before putting a hand up to cover her line of sight. This made her snort and push your hand down.

You let her walk by herself because you weren’t sure if she would be okay with you touching her again.

The house you knew like the back of your hand, and lead her to her bedroom. On the way there, you would pick out all the spot at which pictures of you and her used to be.

She exhaled sharply as soon as she crashed onto her bed. “Would you get me some painkillers, please? It’s in the bathroom—“

“Right cupboard next to the mirror, second cabinet.” You said, and she nodded slowly. You fetched her a glass of water too.

You sat beside her on the edge of the bed as she drank her aspirin, taking long, deep breaths to calm your racing heart at the glorious sight of her in the dim light.

“You never liked going to parties like that.” You noted.

“Neither did you.” She retorted.

“Dom dragged me there. I didn’t want to go.”

“Sounds like Dom.” She snickered, and lay back on the bed.

“Aren’t you gonna take your makeup off?”

“Do I have to?”

“If you don’t want your face to break out in the morning.” You headed to the bathroom. “Sit up.”

She audibly groaned once you returned with some cotton swabs and a bottle of her makeup remover.

“You don’t even have to do anything.” You giggled, and quietly coaxed her to sit up.

You pushed her hair back and began to wipe the makeup off her face. You would gently grab her chin and work your way down from her eyes, the way you used to.

“Stop moving around!” You laughed, holding her still by the shoulders after she wouldn’t stop squirming.

“But it tickles!” She mirrored your laugh and pouted.

“Stay still.” You said. “Please.”

You couldn’t keep your straight face for long at her adorable smile, and leaned forwards to capture her lips in yours.

It felt like a lifetime away.

When you finished and her face was bare, you sat back and let your eyes aimlessly wander, both memorizing and remembering every feature of her face, wondering why the world ever asked so much of her that she felt like needed to conceal herself every time she set foot outside.

“I should have never let you go.” You whispered into the quiet room.

You should have never turned down dinner with her that first time to stay behind at the studio to finish up tracking a project.

You should have bought those tickets to Spain with her instead of staying in LA to take another client whom you thought would become big.

You should have stayed with her whenever she asked you to because she never asked you for much.

You should have never let work take precedence over her.

You had talked too much, you knew that, but it has been your truth for the past ten months.

You stood up to leave, when you felt her pull your hand back down, and kiss you softly. You didn’t fight it, though you knew it was wrong, but you couldn’t form a coherent thought when you tasted the softness and curves of those lips that you had missed so much. Every song you had written since the breakup made no sense until now. Now, you remembered what it felt like to feel alive.

You grabbed her face to deepen the kiss, but she put a hand on yours and pull away. All you could see yourself in her glossy brown eyes.

“It would never work between us again.” She said with a small smile.

You nodded.

But when she wordlessly pat the empty spot next to her on the bed, and beckoned you to lie down, you didn’t protest. You could never refuse her, and you never would again.

You lay beside her, watching her drift to sleep, as you wondered what things could have been had you not refused her ten months ago.

#hailee steinfeld x reader #hailee steinfeld imagine #hailee steinfeld imagines #kate bishop x reader

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countrymusiclover · 2 years ago

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Part 1 - Brittish Man

Prologue - read first

Part 2

She's Human or Weapon

Tag list - just ask to be added

@tyrionsprincess30 @groovy-lady @logolepsic-insomniac @bigbendyhorns @the-big-bad-klaus

Counting some stacks of money in my hands the rain starts to light up. Leaning my back against the the brick wall I pull my black leather jacket closer around myself to get warm. A old guy walks past me I get an idea in my head. "Excuse me sir, can I please have your leftovers?" I asked concentrating hard since I have the ability to control minds. The guy bends down handing me his box of leftovers. He walked off not fazed at all that I just stole from him, but I need food for tonight. Erik and I split years ago once our escape because he only cared about getting revenge on Shaw. All I want to do is figure out is if I'm a monster or not. Opening the box of food I start tearing apart the chicken fingers and fries. I tried to get an apartment but I got kicked out when I accidentally set it on fire when Erik left me.

"Don't talk to me. You did that on purpose!" I heard a guy complaining to a girl with blonde hair both exiting a bar at the corner of the street. "You know I can't control it sometimes. If I'm stressed or I'm tired!" Running a hand through my hair in a braid I start feeling nervous when they get closer to me. I have never really talked or made friends since the escape. Erik and I agreed that the only people we could trust was each other and nobody else. "Excuse me, love. But what's a girl like you sitting out here in the cold night by yourself?" Shaking my head I get pulled from my thoughts by a guy with a brittish accent. Lifting my gaze up I suck in a breath recognizing the man and woman I saw from the bar. The man has bright blue eyes and dark brown hair. The woman at his side has long blonde hair and green eyes who gives me a kind smile, bending down on a knee with her hand stuck out. "I'm Raven, what's your name?" Instead of shaking her hand I hug my knees to my chest avoiding her gaze as a form of protection.

She lowered her hand to the ground with a small smile that makes me feel bad for being the cause. "It's alright, love. You can trust us. We're like you." Pressing my back against the wall I suck in a breath hearing a foreign voice in my head. Flickering my gaze around I try to find the source but I don't find anyone else thinking a thought like that. "Eyes up, miss." The voice spoke again and I locked my eyes on the stranger with blue eyes, slightly thinking it might be him. "It's you, isn't it. The voice inside my head...how is that possible. No one has been able to-" The man just chuckled bending down like the blonde girl had earlier introducing himself. "I'm a Telepath. A type of mutant. Xavier, Charles Xavier. May I know you're name?" Still hugging my legs to my chest I mumble under my breath saying my name outload for probably the first time in my life. "Aurora...Aurora Deerfield."

Charles extended his hand and I softly shake it with a light smile. The blonde waved down to me offering softly. "I'm Raven, his sister. We have a place you can stay with us. Rather than spending your night on the street in the cold." Glancing around at my state of living there wasn't much. I had no blanket and I kept taking food from people who have a weak mind. Charles rises to his feet extended a hand opened for me. Slowly unclutching my hand that was in a fist I brush my fingertips with his, fully holding his hand in mine. Charles then gently tugs me to my feet where I feel a surge of energy pass through our intertwined hands. "I thought I was alone...that all mutants were experimented on." I think in my head knowing he will hear me. "Don't worry, Aurora. You have Raven and I. You won't be alone anymore, I promise." He reassured me never removing his hand from mine until Raven throws her arms around me in a hug. I stiffened my back at the embrace she gives me where I have to close my eyes to calm myself down and not blast her with my powers like I would the doctors in Shaw's lab.

"I finally have another girl I can gossip with. Charles isn't very good at it." She chuckled pulling away from the hug still grinning brightly. Nodding my head we started walking the streets until I had a thought for the eager blonde girl at my side. "So what's your power, uh Raven?" She glanced to her brother as if asking for permission silently, which he just mods his head yes once allowing her. She takes my hand in her left where I see her skin turn blue then quickly return to its normal color making me hold my mouth opened. "I can transform to look like anyone. Even you..but I have to hide my true form." I see her smile drop a little saying that until she asked a question a wish she didn't because it makes me uncomfortable. "Uh I'll tell you later...too many people and I can't exactly control it." She nodded slightly accepting the answer so we climbed into Charles car driving to their place. Looking out the window the whole way there I moved my shirt away from my neck clasping my hand around a charm necklace from my mother before she was killed by Shaw. I have no interest in killing him. But I must admit my mind wanders back to Erik and where he could be right now, does he ever think of me like he once did. Like we were almost a romantic couple you could say.

Comments really appreciated ❤️

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kimhargreeves · 3 years ago

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Reunited-Ging Freecss x Reader (Hunter x Hunter)

Summary: On the hunt for a certain hunter who disappeared years ago you are forced to stop your trip and head back to Whale Island. (More will be updated on my ao3 account)

"How is life treating you Gon? I hope it's better than mine, though I'm sure you shouldn't be worrying about things since you have your friend with you. After all you've always been a boy who gets along with everyone. I'm still surprised at how far you've become! You are a hunter now and words can't describe my happiness. I'm sorry we had a short meeting back then but I promise that we'll see each other again soon."

I hummed to myself and finished writing the letter. We'll be seeing each other in a few months hopefully. I leaned back in my seat and glanced over to the window to my side, a lovely sunset fell across the city i was currently at.

"I better head over and deliver this letter or it'll never arrive on time." Speaking to myself as usual was when I got up and exited my room to head to the small familiar shop I've been countless of times.

As soon as I entered I was met with the kind old man sitting behind the counter, "Miss (Y/N)! Here to deliver another letter? You're brother must be lucky to have someone like you."

I smiled and handed the small envelope to him. "He's a really special boy. You see it hasn't been long since he became a hunter."

"A hunter?! How old is he?"

"He's around ten. Don't worry, I've been a hunter way longer than him!" I exclaimed and saw the old man confused.

"Longer than your brother?! What is your exact age then?"

I hummed and shook my head. "It's rude to ask a lady her name, let's just say I'm older than you might think."

The man sighed and smiles nonetheless, "I can't argue with you then. Oh! Now that I remember you received this." I looked back and saw him holding another blue colored envelope.

I took it from his hands and eagerly opened to read what it said. God knows foe how long he's had this with him, the poor man recently has been having trouble remembering most things. My dark eyes read what was written down on the letter.

"I've been fine don't worry! Killua and I have been training at Heaven's Arena, I finally mastered a bit of Nen, two people I met helped us out a lot. Yesterday I even had the chance to fight! Though, I'm sorry to say that I lost, but I've met many new friends! Killua and I are about to head back home, so don't be upset if you don't hear nothing from me! I know how much you work and I don't want to-"

"He's heading back home?!" I gritted my teeth and ripped the letter in my hands making the poor old man jump from his seat. I dug into my pockets and took out some money and handed it to him.

"I guess my visit was extremely short. I'll be back before you know it!"

The man smiled through his glasses and waved, "Safe travels Miss!"

With that I was running across the city to get the first ticket I could buy to head back home. Whale Island. It's been over two years since I last made it back, what's back at home anyways?!

I frowned and crossed my arms over my chest. I imagined Gon would head back to another one of his friends place, seems like he truly misses Mito and Grandmother. I rested my head on my seat and felt the boat I was in rocking back and forth. I groaned and felt my face turning green, I'm getting sea sick again.

Without a warning I jumped out of my seat and started to throw up all outside to the ocean ahead of me.

"Thank you for sailing with us! We hope we made the best out of your trip!" One of the ladies working at the boat exclaimed at all of us walking out. I groaned to myself and didn't feel like talking at the moment.

"Miss (Y/N)?! I didn't expect to see you again!" One of the fishermen noticed me and he genuinely seemed confused.

What is that supposed to mean? Did he seriously think I would abandon this dump?

"I decided to visit the family for a bit." I lied through my smile and waved at him.

"Well, you certainly haven't aged a bit. Welcome back to Whale Island then! I'm sure Gon will be happy to see you again."

I nodded my head and began to walk all up to the familiar house above the mountain. Due to some problem back at the boat we were delayed, so now the sun was setting. I'm sure my surprise will shock them.

The house seemed to get closer and closer the more I began to walk, and in just a few minutes I raced inside and opened the door wide. "Where's Gon?!"

Mito and Grandma stared at where I was standing. Both their expression turned from confused to happiness. "(Y/N)" Mito stammered my name and before I could say anything else she wrapped her arms around me.

I remained frozen not exactly being used to being hugged. I gently patted her back and waved at Grandma. "I see you both have been living well on your own."

"Yes, thank you for all the money you've been sending." Mito stood back and I stared back at her. "Gon and his friend arrived early this morning, don't worry he's out in the woods as usual."

"Here I'll bring you some tea!" Mito ran to the kitchen to fetch some tea for me. Grandma smiled sadly at me while I began to look around the house. Nothing seems to have changed yet I feel so weird being here.

Mito entered the room and both her and Grandma sat on the table since they forced me to not go and look for Gon. "We definitely didn't expect you to come, Gon told me you've been out helping him out. You saw him for only two days correct?"

It had been 1 year since I haven't seen before we saw each other briefly after he graduated one of the first parts of the hunter exam.

"You are correct."

"Have you been helping him with finding Ging?"

I gritted my teeth and turned my hands into fists. "No. I've been lying to him.."

Mito looked concerned at why I would lie. "But why-"

"He left this family! Do you really think I want my son to chase after his father who abandoned him?! I gave up on finding him many years ago, I could care less on what he's up to."

"(Y/N), you haven't exactly been present in Gon's life either." Grandma said making me shut up. I pouted and crossed my arms over my chest. She always likes to say how much of a teenager I like to act due to me being childish at times.

Grandma is Ging's grandmother not mine. She's seen the negative and positive side of both of us. "I'm not justifying on only you. Yes, you didn't abandon Gon like Ging did but you act more of a sister to your son."

I continued to remain silent. I hate to admit it but she's right. Mito has been playing the mother role for me all this time. I honestly don't care about Ging anymore but I'm still hurt that he abandoned me when I just had given birth to Gon.

Him continuing to be a hunter never stopped.

I was too young back then to see things clear, I regret many things but having Gon was never one of them.

Even if I don't want to, I must let Gon know the truth and everything I can remember about his father. I have to be a real mother now. All these years I've been putting a facade, back in the day I used to be so cheery and happy, making everyone's lives a bit happier. Later on I began tough to read, really showed any emotion and spoke bluntly.

I still remember Grandma teasing me a few years back when she started to see my son grow up.

"I still remember when you and Ging met. You used to follow him everywhere and tease him he would get all flustered and try to push you away." Was some words Grandma used to say along with-

"He definitely has your personality." She used to say when Gon started to grow up. That's what I love about him.

So I will say when he was growing up it was hard for me to even look at him since in appearances he looks nothing like me. I'll do my best to be present in his life.

"I'll go searching for him it's getting late." I excused myself and exited the house in search for my son.

I began to remember one of the many places he likes to stay. Above one of the waterfalls, so I began making my way to work.

"So what are you planning to do next?" I heard a voice say when I began to get closer, when I picked my head out I noticed Gon was with another boy.

"Well, I'll be going to Yorknew to find my father."

"I'm coming with you then. I'm quite jealous of you actually."

"Hmm how so?"

"Well, you have a nice family..tell me how is your mother?" His friend asked.

I froze in my spot for shivers, oh I hope he doesn't say anything weird! I glanced back and saw Gon hum before he smiled and kept staring up the beautiful sky.

"Hmm she's a hard woman to figure out..but she's extremely strong! Sure, she wasn't exactly the one who raised me but I respect her nonetheless. I don't blame her if she didn't want to stay, she was doing the best she could to raise me on her own."

Tears began to flow down my face and before I knew it I began to quietly sniff. I wiped my tears and felt a pang in my heart, I didn't expect Gon to say that about me.

I calmed myself down and began to step out of my hiding spot, making both boys look back surprised. "M-Mom?!" Gon looked at me all happy.

"Hello my son." I waved and smiled. Gon smiled wide and jumped up on his feet and pounced over me, he had a strong grip around my waist. I hesitated for a bit but I gave in and hugged him back.

"She's you're mom?!" The boy next to Gon exclaimed looking very much surprised.

It was getting a bit chilly so I made both boys enter back home. Mito had finished dinner and I was cleaning the place up and organizing Gon's room. I watched him pacing back and forth with a smile on his face while his friend was making himself comfortable in the room.

"So, how long will you be staying?" I spoke up making Gon look back at me.

"Maybe a month. After that I'm going to look for Dad." I frowned not exactly happy at what he desired. Mito came over to me and handed me the one item I was never able to open, a small box.

"This is something Ging left. He only said to give it to you once you became a Hunter."

"My dad left this for me?" Gon looked down at the box.

I patted at the seat next to me. "I think it's time I tell you all I know about your father." Gon slowly took a seat in front of me and patiently waited for me to speak.

"Ging is Mito's cousin, not his sister like you mostly believed. Grandma as you know stills speaks fondly of him…"

"The first memory I had of your father was back when I was studying, a few kids who live close to me used to tease me often, I would always cry and go to my parents but nothing was solved. That's until one day your father stepped up to those kids who had pushed me down on the dirt, he's always been hard to read but the first thing I knew when I saw him was that he would be my best friend. I remember him getting a bit annoyed at me following him around often, though he got used to it after time. To not make things longer, soon enough he left for the hunter exam but never quite made it clear what he wanted."

Gon continued to remain silent. "A later on I had you and after that I too left the island to take the hunters exam. It wasn't easy for me at all but I did everything I could to become a hunter, for the first few years I began to ask if anyone had seen your father but got no response. I've been jumping from place to police ever since not because I wanted to find him, i gave up on that a while ago. I continued moving forward because of you, so we could have enough money to eat."

Mito also began fill in on the rest alongside Grandma. I noticed Gon staring at the small box in his hands, "I'm sorry I lied to you about all of this."

Gon placed the box in his lap staring at me with not a frown but with a smile. "Ging! Mom! I want you to tell me everything about him, what else was he liked when little?! Mito, you can tell me too!!"

"Well, Mito and I used to follow him everywhere. Mito would often get lost in the woods so Ging would go look for her and always knew exactly where she was. I always remained behind holding onto his hand even when he tried to pull it back."

I couldn't help but blush at the innocent and loving memory. We spent hours talking and I was growing tired and Gon continued father. "Gon, it's getting late it's time for your bedtime."

"Ahh but I'm not little anymore."

I gave him an angry look and Gon shrieked and raced off to bed. I smiled to myself and followed him into his bedroom. I opened the door and noticed his friend fast asleep, Gon was already getting ready to rest up.

"We can talk tomorrow early if you want." I hummed and noticed he had the box laying on his chest. I sadly smiled at him and patted his head, "I was never able to open that box, so I do hope you'll be able to."

"Do you still love him?"

I took a sharp breath since I certainly didn't expect Gon to ask me that. I stared back and him and all I could see was Ging. I tried to smile but couldn't.

"Goodnight, son. I'll see you tomorrow bright and early."

"Goodnight Mom." Gon whispered and waved a little. I smiled at him and quietly closed the door, I fell down at my knees once I was on the other side. I was met by silence and the quiet sound of the fireplace in the room.

#hunter x hunter #hunter x hunter fanfic #gon freecss #ging freecss #ging freecss x reader

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holy-hyuck · 3 years ago

Text

NCT Dream Reaction: They See You Wearing Their Clothes

warning: there’s like a swear word or two in jaemin’s

by the way, would you guys want me to add shotaro and sungchan as a bonus into these since they’re not in a permanent unit yet?

also no, i absolutely do not have a crush on jaemin, what are you talking about?

Mark

It was so cold, so unbelievably cold in Mark’s apartment. You told him to fix the heating but he’s been too busy binging Netflix to bother. Shivering in your thin tee, you rummaged through Mark’s closet for something warm to wear. If he wasn’t going to get the heating sorted, you were going to steal every last one of his hoodies until he had no other choice.

Throwing the black, oversized hoodie over your head, you made your way downstairs and plopped on the couch beside him, making him turn his attention away from the TV screen and towards you.

“Is that my- Is that my hoodie?”

“Yes, it is. Actually, it’s now mine, at least until you get the heating fixed.” You crossed your arms over your chest and raised an eyebrow at your boyfriend.

Laughing, he threw his arms around you and started mumbling into your neck.

“Gosh, you’re so cute, you have no idea.”

You let out a whine, surrendering. This was not how this was supposed to go.

Renjun

You stayed over at the Dreamies’ dorm with the intent of catching up with them since their busy schedule meant you barely saw them - especially your boyfriend. A sleepover and a movie night seemed like a great idea.

The boys already had a table stacked with snacks and drinks.

You made the awful decision of wearing denim shorts, which meant twisting and turning for the first thirty minutes of the first movie Jeno picked until he had to go to the toilet and you paused it.

“Are you okay?” Jaemin asked, seeing your discomfort.

You shook your head, looking over at your boyfriend. “Do you have anything comfortable I could wear?” you asked, a puppy-like look on your face (or at least an attempted one), and he obliged, bringing you a pair of his sweatpants.

Once Jeno exited the toilet, you changed into your boyfriend’s clothes, coming back into the living room. Upon seeing you, Renjun burst into laughter, the already slightly baggy (on him) sweatpants completely drowning out your legs so it looked like you were wearing a trash bag over them.

“Y-You l-look great-”

He managed between laughs, covering his face, his head falling back into the couch cushions as he nearly fell on Jaemin. He was hoping his hand also covered his blush because - although he wasn’t sure what exactly it was - something about you wearing his clothes made him feel fuzzy inside and he hoped to see you in them again - just maybe in different circumstances.

Jeno

Out on the beach with your friends was the best way you could think of to spend the last weekend off before school. You sat on the sand, watching Yeri and Jaemin splash each other with water, their swimming suits soaked. They've been at it for the past fifteen minutes, and it all started because Jaemin drank one espresso too much and threw Yeri into the water.

You sat next to Jeno, both of you watching your friends laugh, and next to him sat Renjun, who typed on his phone like his life depended on it. You and Jeno didn't speak much; you were a bit awkward around each other, you'll admit, but that's only because two months ago, you kissed during a game of spin the bottle, and it was a little more heated than you would like, and now maybe, just maybe, you've developed a crush on the black-haired boy.

It was weird - you've known him for three years, and never looked at him that way. Only after the kiss, you started seeing him as this handsome guy with crescent-shaped eyes when he smiled, and not just a friend who wasn't ugly.

Your two friends finally got out of the water, making their way to their towels and drying themselves off. You shivered, the evening weather finally catching up to you. Wrapping your arms around yourself, you rubbed the skin harshly, hoping to generate some heat, and hoping you'll be making your way back home soon.

Renjun noticed this and shoved Jeno with his elbow, gesturing to you. When Jeno gave him a confused look, he rolled his eyes and started tugging on Jeno's jacket in an attempt to take it off. They had a little fight to the right of you, but you were none the wiser and ignored them until Jeno cleared his throat. You looked in his direction to see him taking off his jacket and draping it across your shoulders before giving you a small smile.

"You looked like you needed it."

You smiled at him. "Thank you." Both of you looked at the sand beneath your feet, heat rising to your cheeks.

To your left, Jaemin and Yeri exchanged a look and simultaneously rolled their eyes. You were both so goddamn oblivious.

Haechan / Donghyuck

You clipped your hair back with the lonely bobby pin in your pocket, pulling the jacket around you tighter to brace yourself for the ruthless winds outside. Exiting the shop with Donghyuck by your side, you picked up your pace to make it home before it became any colder or windier - which it did, a minute into your journey.

The wind made your eyes water and you shrunk yourself, head down, ignoring your boyfriend, who began failing to catch up to you.

Suddenly, you felt something warm wrap around your neck and turned around to find your boyfriend securing his scarf around it, unzipping your jacket to tuck it underneath, then zipping it back up. It left his neck exposed due to the low-cut t-shirt he wore under his leather jacket, and you frowned at the sight of it, opening your mouth to protest before he interrupted you.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll be fine. You look like you need it more than me.”

Wrapping his arm around you, thus offering you even more of his body’s warmth, he led you towards his apartment, where he made you hot cocoa and cuddled you until you felt warm again.

You still didn’t take off his scarf, and he never asked for it back.

Jaemin

Maybe you didn't remember much from last night, however, when you woke up with a white, oversized denim jacket hanging from your desk chair, you were reminded of Jaemin - a loud and charming boy from one of your classes - lending you the covering after he walked you home after one too many drinks. In your defence, you bet with your friend that you could handle more shots than her, and won (the vomiting-in-the-garden part doesn't matter).

You got ready and rushed into your lecture hall, sitting somewhere in the middle and eyeing the students to spot the black-haired boy. When you managed to finally do so, he was already talking to one of his best friends, and the professor had started the lecture.

At the end of the lecture, you went up to Jaemin, who again, had busied himself talking to his friend. But when the other boy, Lee Jeno, saw you, he slapped Jaemin across the chest to get his attention.

Finally, Jaemin turned to you, taking a second or two to take in your appearance, his denim jacket hanging loosely on your shoulders. He almost laughed, his smile getting bigger than you've ever seen it. In the background, Jeno was laughing his ass off at Jaemin's reaction.

You cleared your throat. "Sorry, I just saw it on my chair today. It's yours right?" You took the jacket off of you and handed it to him once the boy nodded his head. "Thanks for last night, I don't know how I've survived but you certainly made it easier. Anyway, I'll see you later. You too, Jeno."

The older boy waved his hand at you and walked to Jaemin as the two of them watched you leave. "They looked good, huh?"

Jaemin looked to Jeno and smiled. "Fucking gorgeous."

Chenle

You may or may not have gotten too comfortable during your last few weeks of university, wearing sweatpants and a hoodie every day around your house, only swapping out the bottoms for a pair of jeans when going out. Honestly, you couldn't even remember the last time you put any effort into your appearance.

However, the dreadful day came when you had to meet Chenle's friends. You weren't dating for long, only a couple of weeks at most, so you felt the need to impress both them and your boyfriend. Thankfully, the plan to go to an amusement park were cancelled and swapped out for a movie night, so you felt okay with throwing on a hoodie and calling it a day. Spotting a bright blue coloured one in the corner of your bed, and realising it's Chenle's, you quickly pulled it over your head and rushed out of your house after realising you were late.

You were shaking the whole way to Jisung's house, hoping to calm down by the time you got there. He graciously let you inside and introduced you to two other guys and a girl, and you hoped they would spare you the embarrassment of wiping their hands after touching your sweaty palm.

"I like your hoodie," the girl said.

"Oh, thank you. It's Chenle's, actually," you replied after a beat. "Um, where is he?" You looked around, unable to spot the blond boy.

Suddenly, you heard a high-pitched scream coming from your right, an exclamation of "cute!" yelled your way, right before being tackled to the ground by the man-child in question. He pulled the hood over your head and grinned down at you.

"I'm guessing you like it?"

Jisung

Grabbing a book off Jisung's bedside table, you plopped on his bed with nothing but his thick, blue robe on. Admittedly, it was warm and cosy; definitely something you would have to steal. You skimmed through some of the pages of the history textbook before becoming bored and chucking it next to you.

Standing up from the mattress, you wandered around his room, waiting until he finished his shower.

"Hey, have you seen my-" Jisung came out of the bathroom, holding a towel to his chest, "-robe?"

He sighed, looking at you in his garment as you smiled like the Cheshire cat.

"Can I have that back?"

You skidded across the room to stand in front of him, going on your tip-toes and giving him a peck on the lips. "Nope."

Jisung shook his head at your antics before going to change into some clothes.

#nct reactions #nct dream reactions #nct fluff #nct dream fluff #nct x reader #nct dream x reader #mark reactions #renjun reactions #jeno reactions #haechan reactions #donghyuck reactions #jaemin reactions #chenle reactions #jisung reactions

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