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jinxofthedesert · 5 years ago

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Hi there! Annoying anon that loves rambling about the Valeska twins is here again 🤣 Let the discussion continue! 😂 Yeah, I totally get your point of writing such stories as a means of fulfilling wishes. I guess it makes sense from the writer's pov that they want to give these characters a different (better) treatment. Valid point, but still, they don't feel real to me.

(Below this is the rest of the messages, put together. Farther down, below the line, are my responses)

It's like I'm reading a story with a character that's called Jerome/Jeremiah Valeska and looks exactly like him, but it's not truly him (just like you said, at their cores they are bad guys). But it's perfectly understandable and all right that people want to give them a rest from their chaotic lives haha 😊 everybody’s got their cup of tea ☕

Damn, yes, these stories are so hard to find! I imagine that writing something of the sort and investing so much in such complex characters can be draining and daunting, so yeah I get the reason why there are not so many fics out there... and OCs are so difficult to write haha you are right. They take too much time and effort 🤣

Yeah, I guess Ecco was not the best example. It's very true what you say about Jeremiah's and Ecco's relationship. In the show it was portrayed as a professional one. So we don't really know if there's anything else beyond that, save for some level of concern. So I guess I should have gone with Bruce instead because, just like you said, Jeremiah went totally bonkers when he realized that Bruce was the only one who saw past his resemblance to Jerome.

Basically, what I was trying to say is that in these fics there's not really that same vibe of evil obsession and lunacy from the twin's side. Maybe just some sort of heightened jealousy when their partner is addressed by other characters, but not in a really "Valeska" way. In fact, it is also strange when Bruce is completely absent in these stories when the twins' obsession revolves around him.

Yeah, there is sooo much to explore, so that is why I am very curious to see how people construe their backgrounds, but usually it's just the repetition of the show with some added scenes and dialogues here and there 😅 I would love to see something a bit different, but well, I guess I am being very demanding 🤣 Don't worry about it and thanks so much for replying! 😘 I am now doing some research in different sites 🤣

It's a bit weird because even though I enjoyed the show, I have to say I merely watched it to see ma broski boys in action 🤣 so If I wasn't so lazy (and didn't have other unfinished projects) I would try to write something (my mind is already full of vague ideas OMGGG 😏🤔😂), but I don't really know much about other characters or subplots, so I would not be sure how to tackle it 🤔 Thanks again for the lovely discussion! 😊

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Hi anon! Don’t you worry about your rambles, they’re not at all annoying! I find it rather fun to discuss the twins.

I’m sorry you’ve not been able to find the content you’re looking for; usually, I always run into comments on Tumblr or Pinterest about how you look for certain fics and when you can’t find them, then it’s time to try a hand at writing it yourself. I’ve done that and, even though I enjoy writing, it’s still pretty hard, especially to find a drive to do it when I really am not feeling it. With the twins not feeling real, I understand, ‘course I now think I’m at the point where I might read anything if I’m gifted with more content lol (though there are some tags that, if I see them, I don’t touch if I can help it).

I think, usually, with most writers, it’s easier to take a character like Jerome/Jeremiah and, instead of doing the tremendous work that comes with trying (emphasis trying) to change them, they do a few things and that’s enough for a road to recovery. Because, most of the time, they’re not writing to change the character, or even to make it realistic; sometimes they’re just writing, or they wanted to try a different aspect. There can be so many reasons and sometimes digging deep and getting a character 100% correct isn’t at the top of the list of what you want in that story. Personally, I’ve learned to broaden my sense of disbelief with characters and just enjoy what I manage to find, especially since the Gotham fic-oriented content is sooooo small 😢

After reading your last message, I actually went onto Ao3 and searched ‘character studies’ under the characters and yeah, there’s not much, I read a few and I honestly wasn’t sure what to think (not to call anyone out). It reminded me a lot of my years reading batjokes on fanfiction or, again, Ao3 where, if you search long enough, there’s a fic for almost all your needs. There have been some good gems in there that delve into character studies and helping these characters try and become better. Comparing that to Gotham’s arrangement of fics is sad, to say the least, but batjokes in all media have a lottttt of years to have such a collection of wonderful content. (Even if you’re only a Gotham fan, stretching out into the actual Batman fandom can be very rewarding, even if your next step is into the Nolan movies or even Batman in general cause you can replace the characters in your head if you really want too) I think one big problem with Oc’s is that, in a way, they’re easy to make, but in the worst way. You can create a character to put in the place you want, a blank space and they’re just nothing. This comes up a lot in anime type works, where the main character is so blah for the purpose of the audience (reader in our other case) to put themselves in the place of the main character. This also happens in a lot of movies as well, instead of fleshing the character out and allowing them to move and breathe the way THEY would and not how the audience thinks they themselves would. Because of this, oc’s can be very flat. There are the exception, of course although I have no examples since I don’t remember the last Oc story I read . . . *wracks brain* yeah no idea. Though I’m sure it’s somewhere in my saves.

Even if one doesn’t ship Jeremiah with Bruce, it’s very difficult to ignore/brush under the rug that there was definitely an obsession and that originally, during their weeks of spending time together, building the generator, there started a friendship. The first is very obvious, show-wise (and friendship kinda came with the territory) and the gay subtext can be there if you look at it that way. As much as an interesting character Ecco is, she’s both not important enough in the show (sorry Ecco lovers) or to Jeremiah or to anyone for that matter. While with Bruce and Jeremiah, with how their first meeting go’s and all the meetings that follow after (very willingly on Jeremiah’s part even though I’m sure before this NO ONE was allowed in the inner parts of his bunker for long periods. Probably not even Ecco) the relationship is much more pronounced than anything we’re given prior. I like to think that even though Bruce was manipulating Jeremiah when they first met, he actually did see him as his own person. Even though he, like Jim and Harvey, have personally bore witness to Jerome’s tyranny. (And that only twists the knife harder when Jeremiah eventually loses his mind because both him and Jeremiah saw him as his own person and in a way Jeremiah doesn’t become like Jerome, he becomes worse)

One could argue that since we didn’t see a ‘true’ way the Valeska’s love that any type of them showing affection might never seem very Valeska. Unless one looks at their reactions and interactions with Bruce as something more than just ‘wanting to kill him’ or ‘obsession’. This would be another reason I’m don’t read much in the oc-area or out of the romantic’s lol mainly because the moment they take Bruce out of the picture, everything seems off. Jerome, while willing to divide his attention, only does it with specific people, who are: Jim, Bruce, Jeremiah, and, on occasion, Oswald (though he’s much less in comparison to the ‘big three’). Other then them, we don’t see him hyper-focus on anyone else in the show, and if he does, it’s for a second and to simply kill them after. If these three aren’t integral to his behavior and actions then things feel flat and out-right ignoring his obsession with Bruce and his inner darkness can be unrealistic. With Jeremiah, this is much worse because in canon, once No Man’s Land starts, all he can think about is Bruce. Everything he does in that setting and before this even started was for Bruce. This type of obsession is . . . well, something that can’t simply be ignored, it’s a big part of his character and also very integral to just who he is after the spray. It may not be as bad at the start of the spray (because he’s too busy rebuilding Gotham in his image) but literally second to that desire is his connection with Bruce. If there were a summary of Jeremiah as a character it would be IMPOSSIBLE to write it without Bruce (same with Jerome though his might be a footnote, depending). So him suddenly focusing on someone else is . . . odd (even with Jim he doesn’t give his full attention too and, in the finale, Jeremiah only starts moving around and doing shit when he realizes that Bruce has come home early and that it’s time to finally come back to the spotlight). Especially since he’s supposed to be the ‘Joker’ in the Gotham world, which, technically speaking, means this obsession with the Bat (a.k.a Bruce) will only ever get worse from here (not to mention the fact he knows Batman is Bruce because he remembers the prophecy Ra’s told him, which we’re shown in the finale when he first sees the Bat and comment’s ‘you’ in a knowing way; this can be argued he’s just recognizing that this is what the prophecy was talking about or that it’s Bruce but personally I think both cause the prophecy was about both of them.).

It’s hard not to repeat things in canon though, believe me, I know and if you ever try writing a time travel story, it’s much worse cause then you have to change literally everything if you’re doing it that way. Nah, you know what you like; the only problem with that is it’ll be hard to find it most of the time. I wish you luck in searching! Hopefully, you’ll find something.

Same. My older brother introduced me to the show and his way of doing so was first telling me it was a batman show, that I would LOVE Oswald’s aesthetic and that there was a Joker-type character just introduced. I was sold lol. There’s been a lot of drama with the show though, concerning the twins and I honestly wish they’d just stuck with Jerome or if they did still use Jeremiah that he wasn't just . . . a backup plan for killing Jerome off. And, if they’d been allowed to go on for a few more seasons, I wouldn’t have been surprised if they would have also killed Jeremiah and a third (never heard of) Valeska twin (triplet) would show up, playing into the overall Joker lore about there having been three. 😒🤨😑 Which I find humorous because they did so well with Jerome, he was a well-rounded, fleshed out character and, as much as I love Jeremiah, it’s hard not to consider what we could have gotten if Jerome had lived *wistful sigh* I won’t lie that the drama hasn’t affected how I watch it too these days, or at least left me with a lasting impression. I was very invested in the first few seasons, it was a good show, minus the plot-holes and annoying characters (yes, some annoy me and there are some I can’t stand) but when the twins were on screen, it was probably the show at its best. If they had implicated them more so into the main story I probably would have watched all the way to the end (I can admit, I’ve never seen season five, but I saw many clips, have been completely spoiled and DID watch the finale lol and . . . I think I saw some of season four? Maybe, not sure anymore.) because when they’re also interacting with Bruce, perfection. I could watch that shit for days.

Also, if you did write it, it wouldn’t have to be about other characters if you don’t want it to be. You’re talking to me, who has never seen the last few seasons and when I wrote my first fic ‘Blindly Evident’ literally all my scenes I had to LOOK UP because I only knew the base of what the scene was even about lol. So sometimes, you can totally bullshit your way lol and somehow it turns out to be really good and you like it. Or it’s just snippets of small scenes with your characters (I’ve been writing a fic like that for awhile because it’s fun and easy and yet you can make it so thought provoking because these snippets are so smallll.) I would implore you to give it a go. Even if you have no idea what the other characters are doing or even what their names are.

I feel like this has just become me rambling about Gotham and writing tips at this point lol but you’re welcome~ I am here to try and help and always willing to listen about Gotham and talk (or rant, I’m not picky lol). Thanks again for your ask, anon! Hope you find that content you’re looking for 🥰🧡💛

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159potterhead · 4 years ago

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Thanks. I've followed the tag now my love.

I'm at the point where I'll fall asleep even if there's music blasting at my head. I just need time :/

The covid thing was getting better but now we're have a lot of cases due to the second wave and they are thinking of doing lockdown again. What's situation over there?

And hey you make your own lunch? Are you into cooking? What do you make the best? I'm not really into cooking I only know how to cook a few things like instant noodles idk if that counts, I also tried to make burger once, it tasted okay.

I didn't knew about letterboxd site. Can we stream anything there? Is it free?

(Oh! God! I love that song! You just hit me with the right lyrics)

🎶The world is ugly but you're beautiful to me, are you thinking of me like I'm thinking of you, I would say I'm sorry, though, though I really need to go, I just wanted you to know🎶

jeez aint that a mood. I wish a cute time goblin would be summoned and grant you all the time in the world to rest my beloved :( <3

ooh. dont even get me started on ours- like we’ve got curfew, restaurants are take out only and i’m not sure how that is supposed to help why can’t they just throw a full on lockdown for a month at least?

occaaaaaasionally👀 hmm you could say that, yeah. although I am the farthest from pro, cooking and baking are so relaxing. I think it’s cause you’re focusing on the steps and tasting that your mind gets distracted from whatever you’re worrying about. I think my speciality would be ✨pasta✨. I have never made the same pasta twice. the reason for that is cause I have no recipe whatsoever, it all depends on my mood that moment and I go with the flow. I could plan on making marinara penne and end up with fettuccine alfredo somehow, you just never know where the road takes you. instant noodles is something that can be so personal, so I love that for you;). ooo here’s a fact about me and burgers: I don’t ever eat a burger if it doesn’t have bacon. just... no. hit me up with a fun food fact about you!

it’s actually somewhat like a diary? like you look up a movie and read reviews about it, or you can log the date of when you watched the movie and leave your own review! give me your top five favourite movies.

(aaah yaaassss I love that you love the song!!)

((omggg did you know that I actually put the world is ugly but then changed it last second to this!! our connection I swear!))

🎶an "I love you" that isn't words, like a song he wrote that's never heard. don't you shy away🎶💕

#yes I am currently obsessing over shy away that is such a bop #thee lover anon saga <3

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kawaiibeela · 7 years ago

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2017 in review... i guess?

so i guess im gonna do this lol... its not really a review of my year but i will talk about a few major personal things over the past few months that happened to me, LONG LONG LONGGGGG POST UNDER THE CUT

a lot of people complained about 2017 being a shitty year, a continuation for 2016..... and i thought it would be too.... and thats how it started.... i was stuck in a crappy job for 6 years.... i wanted to leave so badly but i was also scared.... scared that what if i couldn’t find anything else? scared in my skills as a graphic designer.... i hated all my work and everything i produced from that job, i got comfortable at this job.... i could come and go as i pleased, i could take any day off i wanted.... but they were toxic people, they judged me very hard for liking the things i did, they were very negative about everything, they forced stuff on me that wasn’t part of my job, they made me feel very awkward, they would make “comments” about my religion when it didn’t fit their needs...it was very uncomfortable at times.... i would just lie to myself and to other people when asked “how’s work going?” i would say “not bad, its pretty good, i’m doing some fun events” but i was slowly drowning inside.... my parents and close friends would always tell me “you need to quit!!! just quit!!! find something better!! you’re better than this place” but i never believed it..... i never believed them..... when i should have been listening to them....

i started to tell myself, this is enough.... i cant deal with this place any more.... i started to work on my portfolio website.... but i hated it..... i hated everything about it..... everything in there just reminded me of my old shitty job that i hated... all this effort put into something that i hated... because i was forced to do what the clients wanted, it was frustrating!!

a few years ago, i went to this graphic design conference that was meant to help people find jobs, i went to a portfolio review and all 3 reviewers told me the same thing, the work i put in seem forced and not my style, they said to add stuff i was passionate about and stuff that i enjoyed and my work would speak for itself, every person that i showed my arashi posters too, said it was my strongest piece.... i should use that piece for sure!!

that helped me get a sense of what i wanted!! i deleted everything from my old portfolio site, except my logo which i actually still love, i kept 1 project from my old job which was the biggest and most challenging one i worked on to show that i have real life experience.

i decided to develop my arashi project into a full campaign, i added more pieces, i designed more stuff, for the fun of it.... every weekend for a while in the spring and summer, my friends and i were meeting up at cafes to help focus on stuff, i got a lottttt done there!!! i wanted to focus on stuff that was important to me, fandoms!! duh!! arashi of course, kiramune which had recently at the time become my new loves, and oldcodex!!! i decided to try and make designs based on them for fun!! i took kirafes 2017′s design and I remade it for myself, i imagined how i wanted the goods to look, i imagined how i wanted the posters to look, the pamphlet, and it took forever, but it was fun, it was frustrating but it was rewarding to come up with something i was proud of!! something i was happy about!! something that when i talked about it, i could explain what i wanted to and why i did certain things.

for the oldcodex stuff, i made an editorial piece, i wanted to reflect their personalities so i just kept trying different things until i was happy!! in the end it came out really great and i was able to do that piece pretty fast as well too!!

i also kept in my portfolio parts of a magazine that i had worked on.... but i wasnt happy with a lot of parts of that magazine too... so i made my own pages to “add in” about the olympics and they came out really nice!!

i was confident in my portfolio for once.... it took months and months of work.... but i was happy about it... i was proud of it.... i was excited about it.... but...... i was scared..... scared i wasnt ready for the next step.... what if i put all this effort into it and im still not good enough? how will i feel then? i also hate going to interviews because of my anxiety as well too....

but finally around the beginning of September, i was actually able to 100% complete my portfolio, my business cards and resumes were also complete...

and i was scrolling down on facebook... and one of my old friends posted something..... we were really close during college, we took graphic design together but as the semesters went on, we drifted apart as well too... it had been probably like 4-5 years since i’d ever talked to her even.... but she posted “looking for a junior graphic designer for a 3 month contract” and i kinda looked at that for a while... i messaged one of my friends about it and said “hmmmm...... my friend just posted this.... what should i do?” and she told me “just message your friend and apply!!! just do it” she gave me that push because she knew how much i hated my current job too!!

so i messaged my friend and asked her if she could submit my resume to HR.... and she did.... that was on friday.... i was scared.... and nervous.....but then... on a tuesday after work..... my phone rang and i got a call from the company..... its a photography company here in Toronto that has locations across Canada. they wanted me in for an interview.... a what??? wait what??? an interview???? they said they looked at my portfolio and were interested....... ehhhhh??? i was in shock..... but i was so happy too!! but scared..... the last interview i went on was like 2-3 years ago and it went pretty bad......... so i had no idea how this one would go..... the HR person was really nice though... she had told me that i would be interviewed by herself, the marketing manager and the art director.... i was scared as hell..... she gave me their names so i looked them up.... the art director........ he was so good..... his website was so nice!!! i started to lose confidence again but, its funny.... he was japanese.... i thought “oh crap, what if he tries to read parts of my portfolio?” i had used japanese interviews in my kiramune project but i couldnt find stuff for each member so i just copied and pasted, i thought “hes gonna know im just making stuff up” LOL I just kept thinking of useless thoughts in my head..... but i thought.... whatever.... im just gonna do it...... my interview was on thursday, i had called my old job and told them i couldnt work that day and they said it was fine because it was a really slow time... i obviously didnt tell them i was going for a job interview.... but i went anyways, i got there really early so i just sat somewhere and went over stuff i had planned for my interview, i had written stuff down in my journal and was gonna use that as a guideline for when they asked me questions, they asked some things similar to what i had planned but they asked some different stuff too... they were so nice.... throughout the interview they had kept complimenting my stuff, they said everything flowed very nicely and they really liked me work, they had asked me how i got interested in design and i answered the most face palming thing.... i mentioned anime... and i said i used to watch anime and pokemon as a kid and i dreamt of being an animator in japan and then i was like “oh no.... i didnt just tell them im a weeb did it?” and i was like “oh god, my life is over” haha i felt really embarassed ahaha oops LOL but then they were also really impressed by that answer too.... they asked if i had any retail experience and i told them i had experience working at this amusement park after high school too and it helped me deal with customers and stuff too... this was a job i had from like 10 years ago or something, it wasnt even on my resume any more, is just one of those jobs u get to make money.... like..... i thought nothing of it..... but they were SO EXCITED about it when i told them, they were like “wow!!! thats so great!!” they seemed so intrigued in everything i said!! the HR person was like “you seem very energetic!!” and i was like really happy!! no one really compliments me or my work usually haha XD

towards the end of the interview, they asked if i had any questions for them and i asked them 2 questions and they seemed really impressed too!! haha they were like “those are great questions” haha

at the end of the interview, i asked for their business cards so i could email them and thank them for taking time to interview me. they thanked me and the HR person said she’d be in touch the next few days

after the interview, i messaged my friend who had helped send in my resume and she said “just between you and me, they came upstairs and i think they really like you” omggg i felt sooo happy haha

on the way home, i remember getting really lost LOL it took me almost like 3 hours to get home i think XD i ended up finding a small japanese store that i bought a bunch of stuff from ahaha

so... i waited the weekend..... it was monday.... and i didnt hear from them.... tuesday went by and i didnt hear anything, i thought i must not have gotten the job, but then wednesday again, i got an email from the HR person, asking if i could email her 2-3 references... which i had none... so i asked 2 of my old coworkers from different jobs and they replied right away too because they also knew i hated my current job ahah so i sent my references and then on thursday while i was at work... i got a call from the HR person saying “i called both of your refernces and they both said wonderful things about you so we would like to offer you the 3 month contract position” like OMGGGG i almost screamed of joy!!! i was jumping up and down outside the office haha XD

i told this job that i would need 1 week to give my old job a heads up tho, so i could start on the following wednesday

but then i got scared again, i had to tell my current job i was quitting... i mustered up the courage and just told my one boss first, she was so happy for me, she gave me a hug and she wished me all the best too!! but then i had to tell the owner of the company and his wife, theyre both assholes so i didnt wanna tell them, but my 1 coworker helped me figure out how to tell them.... so i told them and they were unhappy but i told them id help for 1 last event (until the end of october) they appreciated that at least

so that following tuesday was my last day being in office at that crappy job i hated!!! i literally left there SKIPPING with a HUGGGEEE grin on my face!! i would never have to go back to that horrible place again!!! omg i was soooo happy!!!!

im getting tired of writing all this now LOL so im gonna fast forward a bit, but the new job was amazing, people there loved me and they were so appreciative of me, it was a huge 360 turn!!

i was working at this new place but then in the evenings id help at my old job by working from home, that was horrible, i couldnt deal.... after that last job at my old work was done, i told them i couldnt help out any more and theyd have to find a new designer.... after 6 years of working there.... 6 FRIKKEN YEARS!!!!!! i told them i was probably going to have my contract extended and i told her i was so excited and she messaged back saying “thats not good for us but anyway congrats” like WTF BITCH!!! I HELPED YOU OUT SO MUCH!! I WAS SO NICE TO YOU!!! GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE!!! I CANT EVEN WITH YOU!! LIKE OMG!!! i told her id send her files that i worked on and she replied 2 days later that she’ll download them later my last message to her was just “k” i was SO FUCKING DONE!!!! I HATE HER SO MUCH!!!

ANYYYYYYYWAYYYSSSSSSS...... fast forward another few weeks?months? my manager told me that she was able to get me to job full time..... FULL FUCKING TIME........ this was my first EVER full time job that related to my career, the old crappy one was never full time.... this is the first one ive had thats full time and ill get benefits and vacation and everything!! like OH. MY. GOD. i left work SOOOOOO happy!!! i actually CRIEDDDDD tears of joy!!! i couldnt believe it!!! i cant believe it!!! like omg!!! they all congratulated me!!! they were so proud of me!!! i was proud of me!!! i told my parents and i think for the first time in mine and their life, THEY were proud of me!!!! like it was amazinnnnggg!!! its still amazing!!!! we had a work lunch party and my manager was like “id like to take this time to officially tell you all that Nabeela is now full time with us” and they all raised their glasses and cheered to that too!!! like OMGGGG I WAS SO HAPPY!! (also hella embarassed since im still awkward af!!) but SO SO HAPPY!!!!

HONESTLY GUYS...... i am 30 years old now..... 30........ its NEVER too late..... nothing in life is set in stone..... no matter how 1 person does things, doesnt mean you have to be like them too....you can always do things at your own pace!!! sometimes things dont go as you imagine them but things WILL AND DO get better!!! things will be alright in the end!!! thats how i ended my 2017 and started my life as a 30 year old obaa-chan XD

theres a lot of goals and things id like to work on for 2018 but i hope 2018 will even better for me and all my friends, family and followers!!!

if any of you actually got through all of this, then im so sorry and also thank you so much for reading LOL to all my friends who supported me through this hard moment in my life, thank you very much!!

if any of you are curious about my portfolio, you can check it out at www.nabeelahamid.com ^__________^ thankssss!!! if any of you guys are designers too, tips or positive criticism is always welcome too!!

to all of my friends and followers who are already in 2018, HAPPY NEW YEAR AND I WISH NOTHING BUT THE BEST FOR ALL OF YOU!!!!! and to those still in 2017 like me, lets bring in the new years together!!!

#personal rants #end of 2017 rant #HAPPY NEW YEAR

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speaknowslut13 · 3 years ago

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Lauren my beloved! Sorry I missed yesterday, my life is chaos and also I was out of data haha.

Ohh very fun! I feel like kids that age are fun because their personalities are really starting to develop.

Awesome! I’ve also played flute since 5th grade and then I played piccolo in marching band all through college. I miss playing in groups, and I’m really hoping that’ll be possible again soon! You are to drums as I am to singing lmfao I was almost kicked out of choir in high school bc I canNOT carry a tune. What other instruments do you want to learn?

I love channels like that! That and cooking channels are the majority of my subscribed to haha so if you ever decide to start a YouTube, I will certainly be on your subscribers list. Understandable, Tiktok stresses me outtttt lol I go on from time to time bc my sister always sends me a bunch but then I have to delete the app again.

Awwwwwe oh my gosh, that’s so cute!! 🥺🥺 what was your wedding like? (Though I never plan on getting married myself, I loveeeeee weddings hehe) what kind of stuff do you like to do together?

Omggg what an incredible experience for rep tour! Tumblr during rep tour was one of my favorite times ever on tumblr, like so exciting to get clips of the b stage songs and see peoples posts about meeting her! What other concerts have you been too?

I’m hoping to visit Croatia at the end of august, if everything goes according to plan/covid doesn’t once again wreck my plans. I grew up in the northwestern US, and there people joke that the seasons are “fire season, road construction, winter” and winters are regularly so much snow, windy, and -20°, so not ideal conditions for enjoying them. Have you been to Grand Canyon or any of the other national parks in the southwest? They all look so beautiful, that’s one part of the US I would definitely like to see more of.

Thank you!! I’m really excited to be a student again but I am also really glad I took some time off. I enjoy Dostoevsky! Probably not my all time favorite, but my best friend loves him so I’ve read a lot of his stuff and talk about it a lot. Also a big fan of Byron and I have a love/hate relationship with Shakespeare. My favorite poet is ee cummings, I love Cynthia Kadohata, huge Neil Gaiman fan. And many many others haha but off the top of my head let’s go with that 😅

What do you write about? And in what medium? I write a lot of poetry and I like writing non fiction, but I learned in college that I am NOT a fiction writer hahaha.

What have you been up to this weekend?? I hope you’ve had a lovely day 💖 Drew

ps: I love reading your responses! Please don’t feel bad or stressed about writing a lot ✨✨

Hello, Drew! Chaos feels like the natural order of the world lately. It’s fine if you miss a day or two! I understand.

I actually never really wanted to be married myself. I figured if I did, I’d be at least 30. I wanted to get school done first. Then, after my previous relationship, I decided I wanted to be alone. Fate had different plans. I also wasn’t sure I wanted kids. Changed my mind. However one is plenty. One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone invalidates a person’s choices by saying “oh you’ll change your mind”. So even though I changed mine, I won’t be implying or outright denying that you don’t know your own mind.

My wedding was small. We eloped. It was a complicated situation with his family at the time, and we had decided to have the protection of a legal document since we were living together anyway. We picked randomly picked the day. Turned out to be Valentine’s Day. So, I, along with millions of other people, got married at a court house. In fact, someone was wearing my same dress that day! It was awkward. We have yet to have any celebration outside of that day. It was just my immediate family. However, I’ve never regretted marrying him and I still look back fondly on it. Fun fact: his parents found out we were married after we totaled their truck a few months later. Not so fun fact: that was the scariest accident I’ve been in to date. Accident wasn’t our fault and at least in this accident I had airbags. Ever been in an accident? Or in one without modern crash technology? It’s not very fun. Hurts a lot. I remember having to tell my father in law, on the side of the road, that Chase and I had actually gotten married. He was stunned but super supportive. Like I previously said, it was complicated . And I can get into it more, but there’s so much else to address right now!

We really like sitting in silence on our phones together! 😂 We are one of those annoying couples who like to do everything together. We are practically attached at the hip and the pandemic has only made it worse. He’s really interested in getting into D&D. We like playing video games together. We both love swimming. We both really want to travel. I’d love to take him to Europe. We like movies. But we both compliment our different likes and knowledge. He loves animated movies and animes and I love books. We both love art. He’s so good. He lets me do his makeup and nails from time to time. It doesn’t bother him at all. But not only that he’s really helpful at making sure I get my medicines and that I get rest when I need it. Throughout the lockdown he’d do all the running around so I wouldn’t have to go out since I’m immuno compromised. Sometimes I feel like he’s too good to me and the kid. I try to give back what I can. But honestly, he’s my best friend too.

Ahem. Enough gushing.

Other than some musicals and local symphonies, I’ve never been to any other concerts! Weird. I know! I’ve wanted to but never have. I’ve always wanted to see Imagine Dragons. Or Panic! at the Disco. There’s a few artists actually, I’d love to go see.

Croatia is BEAUTIFUL. My time in Europe was 2 weeks during July. I’m in love with it. If you go, Rijeka is wonderful. But near Rijeka is a mountain town called Fužine. It’s MAGICAL. I spent most of my time there. One of the upsides to staying in Rijeka is that it’s just a few hours away from Venice, too. Which. Was also breathtaking. I cried at the beauty of it. I have pictures of these places and I love looking at them. But they also make me a little sad. For multiple reasons. We had a layover in Munich on our way home and so we spent two days there as well. We drove up to the Neuschwanstein castle. It was amazing. But the most harrowing part of that stop was at the site of Dachau. I will never forget the heaviness of it. I had to stop halfway through. It was too much for my sensitivity. A privilege I will never forget.

I was able to visit Idaho (Rexburg) during October and December one year and I loved it. I’ve only ever been to Washington (coastal) and Oregon during the summer months. I wanted to go to school in Washington, originally. Thought I’d move up there. Now the goal is to ultimately expat. Canada, likely. We will see if that ever pans out, though.

I’ve been to the Grand Canyon once when I was 10 or 11(?). We went during December to ride the “Polar Express”. It’s a special event they run during the winter months before Christmas. We were snowed in so we stayed an extra day and took the train to the Grand Canyon. So I got to see it all snowy and clear. It’s gorgeous and I highly recommend it once. I don’t know if I would ever really go back but I might take the kid someday. I at least want her to go on the Polar Express ride. It’s cute and fun for the kids. I was a little too old to fully enjoy it, but my little sister was roughly the right age.

I’ve been to several places in Arizona. The missions, Jerome, and I’ve also been to some places in Colorado and New Mexico. I can’t recall all their names off the top of my head and it was a long time ago.

I greatly appreciate anyone who can write poetry. It is not my forte. They come out childish and awkward. So, I keep those to myself. I write anything and everything. I have several stories, but three top priority right now. One is complete but needs serious reworking and revision. I started it when I was 15. It’s a paranormal mystery with romance. The second one is a fantasy that I started with a friend when I was 14/15. It has its own world and has taken on a life of its own since then. It’s massive. And the third one is a coming of age story. It’s my most delicate one. I started it when I was 21. I have shared an excerpt on tumblr of this one. It’s my most complicated one yet. Like any artist, I’m constantly second guessing my work and lamenting my talent.

This weekend has been mostly spent recharging. I’ve been helping my mom with a project. And of course swimming. I’m a child at heart and I bought myself a mermaid tail. I’ve elevated my pool game. It’s so much fun but my body is yelling at me. I’m not as energetic as I was in my youth. You mentioned marching band? You and I really do have much in common! Not only are you a flautist, but a marching one at that?! I marched in high for two years. I loved it but I started to get burned out. And then I started horseback riding and planned to do that instead. My parents couldn’t afford to do both. And then I caught mono. Looking back, I understand why my mono knocked me out for so long (it’s linked to my autoimmune issues) but at the time every one of my friends thought I was being dramatic. It was kind of a horrible experience. So even if I had signed up for band my junior year, I would’ve had to quit. And then my senior year I signed up for this program that put me through a college program to get my EMT-B. I didn’t take band at all that year. Now I just play for myself. Ideally I’d learn every instrument.

I actually couldn’t sing very well for the longest time. Which was ironic because my mom was operatically trained. My older sister was also trained. And my little sister preferred chorus to band. I ended up teaching myself later. So now I don’t sound terrible but I’m not going to take my solo act on the road anytime soon.

If I can teach myself makeup, art, instruments, and other various things, then maybe I can also someday be brave enough to put myself out there on the internet. And if I do, I will definitely let you know! I will at least have 3 subscribers. 😂

Tell me about this trip you’re planning to Croatia!

#inthaf anon #themodrenreplies

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