#i started it around april and then got Busy with work but now it's complete!!

[gwinver-art]

July 22 is the date I chose as a birthday for Bisig, my beloved little sailor cat, and to celebrate the occasion here is a mini-comic about her and how she met her crab fam :D It's kind of a continuation of something I've drawn back in 2020 as a way to explore her backstory a little and it's very dear to me.

(Please watch it in full view, I worked really hard on it! ^v^)

[wonderjanga]

Stuck

Billy has been Captain Marvel since the middle of April. It’s the beginning of July. And that’s not how long Billy’s been Marvel as a whole, no, he’s been a hero for nearly two years. That’s currently how long Billy’s been in his Marvel form.

This all happened because of a, quite frankly stupid mistake. It wasn’t even a magical mistake, just an ignorant and naive one.

Billy: *walking past an alley and hears the sound of someone hurt*

His first mistake was even stopping because of that voice.

Billy: *hesitantly walks into the alley* “Hello? Is someone hurt-”

Thief: *stabs him and pushes him over before realizing he just stabbed a little kid* “Holy shit! A kid!?” *sounds horrified*

The thief then fled the scene, not even bothering to try and actually steal when he realized what he had just done. When Billy finally broke away from the fuzziness of his mind and came to it, he was laying face up on the ground and feeling a sharp pain blossom from his side. His hand moved and he could feel some blood seep past his fingers. Uh oh.

So, on the verge of death and partially delirious from the worsening blood loss, he said his magic word and was lightninged into Captain Marvel. Even as the Captain, he continued laying on the ground. The reason being that he was replaying what happened in his mind and trying to ignore the leftover blood that had been left on the alley floor. It was definitely seeping into his cape, yet he couldn’t find it in himself to get up. Why he was too busy thinking about how absolutely fucked he was over the all the concerned yelling from the DTC.

Marvel: ‘Oh my Gods. I’m going die.’

Mercury: “BILLY, WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU EVER GO IN A CREEPY ALLEY???”

Solomon: “He thought someone was in trouble, Mercury. Calm down.” *actually sounds the slightest bit panicked*

Zeus: “Calm down?! Solomon, the boy got STABBED!”

Hercules: “Solomon, what do we do? Is the Batson boy going to die?”

Solomon: “No. Not if he stays in his godly form at least.”

Achilles: “You hear that, Batson? Don’t you dare utter that word until we find a way to fix this!” *if Billy could see him, he would be wagging his finger*

So yeah. Thats why he’s been Marvel for a little over month and a half. See, it turns out that he can’t really do anything. His body was in stasis, completely frozen in time. That meant the wound wouldn’t heal or disappear like he prayed it would. No, it would just be there until he maybe switches back and dies from blood loss, which is something he’d rather not do. You can see his dilemma.

So what did he do to combat the impending feeling of dread that he’ll never get to be Billy again? He threw himself into hero work because to be quite frank, he needed a distraction. And that’s how you could see Captain Marvel in fucking Oregon, then South Dakota, and then Alabama helping whoever. He literally expanded his patrol to cover the entire country aside from cities that were already protected by heroes. After about two of doing this, of course, this caught the attention of others, but the last person he expected was Amanda Waller. She came to him alone after he stopped a car crash in Washington.

Amanda: “Captain Marvel.”

Marvel: *looks over* “Aren’t you Ms. Waller? Is there a problem, ma’am?”

Amanda: “Yes. You’ve been seen going around the entire country. I thought you supers only stuck to your cities.”

Marvel: “I… Well, most of us do. I just have a lot of free time on my hands lately. Do you need me to back off?” *really doesn’t want her to want him to back off because running around the country has actually been a really good distraction*

Amanda: “No. Not for now. Tell me, what do you mean by free time?”

Marvel: “Uh…” *confused as to why she cares* “I guess you could say I switched to heroing full time.”

Amanda: “Interesting.” *stares at him intensely*

Marvel: *starts to get nervous cause her stare reminds him of Batman a little* “Y’know, Miss Waller, Supes tells me your bad news all the time. Something about you hating us?”

Amanda: “He’s right. I don’t respect your kind and the slightest.”

Marvel: “My kind?”

Amanda: “Superheroes. You’re a threat to national security but you can also be useful if you’re on the government’s side.”

Marvel: Is this you proposing that I join up with you guys again?

Amanda: “Unfortunately, yes. Before the 60s, superheroes used to practically work for the government. So, I have a proposal for you.”

She wanted him to do some contractual jobs for the government. Which was no biggie. He remembers doing a few with the other Fawcett heroes and even some with the JSA.

Marvel: ‘Do you think we can trust her, Solomon?’

Solomon: “Just barely. I don’t believe she’ll stab you in the back, not yet anyways. I assume you’ll be working with that so called ‘Suicide Squad’ so she’ll likely want someone to keep them in line. That and aside from the shark man, they probably want another heavy hitter.”

And with that, Marvel shrugged and said “sure, why not?” It was more work for him to busy himself with anyways. Now, he won’t admit it to any of coworkers, but those Suicide Squad guys are actually pretty fun if you ignore that half of them are psychopaths and murderers. Captain Boomerang especially. The man was really funny when he cursed out people. There was also Harley Quinn, or Harley as she asked him to call her, who was also pretty funny too. Also, there was a lot of killing that occurred on these missions. Like, a lot.

Harley: “Geez, Cheese! I didn’t think I’d ever see a super so blood lusted before!”

Marvel: “Ah… my bad. It’s been a long while since I’ve been allowed to do something like this without having to worry about Mr. Batman Sir kicking me out the league for it.”

Captain Boomerang: “Huh…? Mate, are you saying you’ve killed people before?”

Marvel: “Yes?” *honestly surprised they didn’t know* “Back in the olden days when your parents were maybe kids, heroes were allowed to kill. That included me. Though I only stuck to murderers and rapists and all the junk. *wipes a bloody hand on Deadshot’s back*

Deadshot: “Wha- don’t wipe your fucking hand on me!”

Marvel: *stares for like three seconds before wiping his hand on him again*

Deadshot: *takes out his gun as if that’ll do anything* “I just said stop that.”

Though, his contracts for the missions ended after about a month and he said bye to them about a month later.

After his relatively short time with them, he went back to basically patrolling the country again. Which, although it wasn’t mentioned before, made his popularity as a sensational hero increase because this man wasn’t just protecting his city, he was protecting his country.

Now, left to his own devices once again, Billy let his mind wander as he was rescuing people from a burning building in California.

He thought about Fawcett. About his job at Whiz. Gosh, he was probably- no, definitely fired due to the month and a half of absence. (He wasn’t. Mr. Morris and the staff were all worried sick about what happened to him.) There was also Freddy. He’d only see the boy every now and then when he looked down to the crowds in the city. He wondered if he was upset. He’d hoped not. At this moment, Billy really really wished he had told Freddy about him being Captain Marvel. That way he wouldn’t feel so alone.

Oh, but you can’t forget the Justice League. Don’t think any of this behavior has gone unnoticed. They have been thinking about ways to bring this up to Marvel for a while. The team finally hit its breaking point when Batman shared that Marvel had been seen talking with Amanda Waller, and working with the Suicide Squad. How they found out? On one of the missions, the Squad had gotten caught and taken into a secret organization’s base. (They weren’t actually. They were mostly pretending so they could just get inside.) This was an organization Batman had been monitoring for a while. As a result, the man had obviously hacked the system and made sure to get updates on anything new. Imagine his surprise when he sees the pictures of each Squad member, including Marvel, all rocking the organization’s prison uniforms. So yeah, not Billy’s best moment for Bruce to catch him in.

Supes: “I just don’t understand! Why would you work with them?! They’re villains!”

Marvel: “I’m sorry! I just needed something to do. They’re really not that bad once you get to know them.”

Supes: “Not that- NOT THAT BAD?!”

Marvel got yelled at for like 20 minutes and only after making numerous promises about, never working with them again, did they finally let up.

Another month later, and that brings us to the present. It’s still the beginning of July. Billy didn’t know how much longer he could take this. He was growing restless because he might have to be Marvel forever. His villains were growing restless due to the fact that he kept leaving Fawcett and was barely around anymore. And unbeknownst to him, Freddy and Mr. Morris were already restless looking everywhere for him.

Thankfully, the Wizard finally came up with a solution that might actually work. It involved the Rock and a whole bunch of complicated magic. Billy wasn’t willing to explain. Anyways, the first thing Billy did when he finally was allowed to be Billy again, was go find Freddy.

Freddy: *walking down the sidewalk, keeping an ear and an eye out for any news of Billy*

Billy: *looking around for Freddy and spots him from behind* “Freddy…?”

Freddy: *pauses and whips around* “Billy!?”

Billy and Freddy: *stare at each other for a bit*

Billy didn’t even get to register what was going on before Freddy rushed over as fast as he could. The other boy dropped his crutch in favor of crumpling against his friend in a tight hug. They ended up sobbing together on a bench after that.

[lumosandnoxwriting]

look at you || Fred Weasley

Title: Look at you Pairing: Fred x Reader Summary: distance really does make the heart grow fonder. Warnings: NSFW - minors DNI! This contains, vaginal sex, female receiving oral, breeding kink, mentions of cum marking, dirty talk, praise, mentions of sex toys/sexting and pregnant sex.  A/N: hockey!fred could hit me with his car and I would say thank you. Anyway as always this is dedicated to @darthwheezely b/c she always encourages my shenanigans. 

The away games are always the hardest. 

Fred is usually gone for a week, and between traveling, playing multiple games and the time differences they mainly communicate via text and maybe a phone call if they’re lucky. At first the lack of communication bothered Y/N. They moved across the country after Fred got drafted and it felt isolating to have the only person she knew in Washington unavailable most of the time. But now that Fred’s in the fourth year of his contract Y/N is a pro at handling the distance. Her and a bunch of the other WAGS always get together to watch the games at someone’s house, and usually do dinner or brunch on some of the days the guys are gone. And now that she’s working and more involved in the area she’s got plenty of friends and activities to keep her busy while Fred is away. 

She figured this season would be just like the others, that it would suck while Fred is gone but she’d just keep busy until he was back home in their bed. 

Until those two little pink lines stared up at her from the bathroom counter the night before training camp started. She wasn’t totally surprised at the result, considering her and Fred had been together for a decade, married for half of that and regularly relying on the pullout method as their main form of contraception. And of course they’d talked about having kids, but their general consensus had been that they would start trying once the season was underway, hoping to time it just right that their baby would be born at the beginning of the off season, so they could spend the first few months as a complete family unit before hockey took over Fred’s life again. 

But of course life decided to say fuck their plans, and now Y/N is due to give birth just before playoffs begin in April. 

Y/N had thought that having Fred gone during her first trimester would be the worst part of it, having to deal with morning sickness and those first few doctors appointments by herself. But the nausea and vomiting left her feeling so gross she was glad Fred didn’t have to see her like that, and they were able to work with her doctor so that Fred didn’t miss a single appointment. 

It’s now, with Y/N into her second trimester that Fred’s absence seems to be hitting her the hardest. Her bump has finally popped, and she can barely keep her hands from stroking over the smooth skin at all hours of the day. The baby has started to move around too, starting off as gently flutters she assumed was gas that have now grown into distinctive pushes against her belly. Not to mention the nausea and vomiting that plagued her first few months of pregnancy have faded away, and Y/N finally understands what people say when they talk about pregnancy glow. Her skin is the clearest and softest it’s ever been, and her hair and nails look amazing thanks to her prenatal vitamins. 

And just as she passed the five month mark her newest, and most annoying to deal with on her own, pregnancy symptom started. 

She’s unbelievably horny every hour of the day. 

Her newly filed out breasts constantly ache, and some days her nipples are so sensitive just the material of her bra sends a shiver down her spine. Her pussy is almost constantly slick, her clit throbbing and her cunt aching to be filled. Once the seam of her maternity jeans pulled so deliciously against her as she was driving that she nearly crashed the car as she came from that brush alone. 

Everything seems to turn her on these days, no matter how inconvenient the time or place is. 

Like right now, the guys are on the last leg of their longest away game stretch, the final game of a two and a half week trip, and her cunt is dripping as she watches Fred punch the other team’s center in the jaw. Not only is it inconvenient because she’s sitting on Melaine, the goalie’s girlfriend’s couch, but because Fred isn’t due back home until tomorrow afternoon and she passed out last night before she could put her vibrator back on the charger. And her own fingers will never live up to the memories of how worked up Fred gets after a fight, and how the only thing that seems to calm him down is taking Y/N from behind as he growls in her ear. 

She tries to shift subtly as the ref throws Fred in the sin bin, his mouth still moving wildly as he throws insults at the other team, but when Rachel throws her a look Y/N knows she’s been caught. Rachel is the wife of one of the defensemen, and had been heavily pregnant for most of last year’s season, so Y/N figures she knows exactly how she’s feeling right now. 

“Tomorrow afternoon can’t come soon enough,” Rachel teases, voice low enough so only the two of them can hear. 

Y/N snorts in laughter, nodding in agreement. “You have no idea.”

-

Fred throws a middle finger over his shoulder as he rushes towards his truck, causing his teammates to laugh even harder. The bus had barely stopped before he was up out of his seat and making his way to the front, far too eager to get home to Y/N. Because the texts she’s been sending since he got off the ice last night have had him perpetually hard in his pants and the only thing on his mind is getting home to his wife. 

He drives well over the speed limit on his way home, praying to whatever deity that exists out there he won’t get pulled over, since he’s pretty sure his urgent need to fuck his wife is not a good enough excuse to get out of a ticket. The car is barely in park as Fred throws the door open, hockey bag left behind in his haste to get inside. In a matter of a few seconds he’s barreling through the front door, taking the time to lock it behind him before he heads for the stairs. 

“Baby?” he calls as he climbs, ripping his shirt off as he goes. He pauses to kick his shoes off, just letting them tumble back down as he continues up. 

“Hi,” Y/N greets breathlessly when Fred appears in their doorway. Her eyes are immediately drawn to the way his jeans hang open, his cock clearly fighting against the material of his boxers. 

Fred groans as he takes Y/N in, cock throbbing at the way she kneels on their bed in nothing but his jersey. The curve of her bump is visible even in the oversized garment, and Fred almost can’t believe that this is his life. He makes a living playing the sport he loves and every night he gets to come home to the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen who’s beauty has only grown as he watches his child grow inside of her. 

“Fucking hell,” he practically growls as he steps into the room, his complete focus on Y/N. “Do you have any idea how fucking sexy you are, wife? That picture of your pretty pink pussy all wet and begging for my cock has been driving me crazy. I couldn’t sleep knowing you were all alone in our bed, desperate for my cock wearing nothing but my jersey.”

Y/N practically pants as Fred stalks toward her, hands clenched in fists at her sides to try and resist the urge to touch herself. She had to give herself a pep talk before taking the photo she sent, so to see Fred’s reaction to it here in the flesh makes her cunt throb with want. Before falling asleep Y/N had managed to work herself up to a few weak orgasms with her fingers, but those are nothing in comparison to what she knows Fred is about to give her. 

“Sexy?” she asks teasingly. Fred has finally made it to the edge of the bed, and she runs her hands up his arms and over his shoulders, resting her palms against the sides of his neck. “Even with my big old bump in the way?” 

“Especially with your big bump in the way,” Fred practically purrs. He finally gives in to his urge to touch his wife, one hand hooking around her thigh while the other fists the front of her jersey, yanking her closer to him. “Just knowing that you’re full of my baby, that I did that to you is enough to make me cum, something I know you’re well aware of.”

And she knows Fred isn’t lying. He’d always been possessive in the bedroom, and it only intensified when she got pregnant. Once her bump popped Fred was like a man possessed, needing to have one hand on it at all times. He’s finished on her bump more times than Y/N can count, rubbing his cum into her skin so he can claim her fully. 

Instead of responding Y/N lets Fred pull her into a kiss, her fingers tangling in the hair at the base of his skull as he nibbles on her bottom lip. He claims her mouth with his, crawling up on the bed so he can get even closer. The hand he had on her jersey makes its way up to cup her jaw, angling Y/N’s face so he can kiss her deeper, while the one that was on her thigh starts to travel further up.  

“Fuck,” Fred moans into her mouth as his hand brushes her bare hip. “No panties? Dirty girl.” He lets his hand cup the swell of her stomach, thumb slowly brushing back and forth in a sweet gesture that is the total opposite of the way he kisses his wife. 

“Please,” Y/N pants as Fred’s mouth finally leaves her’s, starting to press kisses into her neck. “Need you to touch me, Freddie, only feels good when it’s you.”

“Well how can I deny my wife when she asks so nicely?” 

Fred kisses the juncture of her throat one last time before pulling away just enough so he can pick her up under her thighs. He positions her back on the bed just how he wants, her back flat against the mattress with her legs spread wide, a hand on each thigh to keep them open for him. 

“You’re fucking cunt,” he groans, his eyes drawn to her slick pussy as he bites his lip. He sinks down on the bed so he’s resting between her thighs, thumb and forefinger spreading her pussy apart to put her clit on display. “This pussy is going to be the death of me.”

Y/N gasps as Fred finally puts his mouth on her, hips nearly lifting off the bed as he sucks her clit between his lips. Her toes curl as his tongue flattens against her, thighs already quivering as Fred’s thumb presses against her entrance. “God, please, Fred.”

That’s all the encouragement he needs to fuck into her with his index finger, curling it to press against the front wall of her cunt, right against the spot that has her moaning his name. His cock twitches as Y/N’s hand tangles in his hair, curling his tongue around her clit as she tugs. 

“Such a good girl,” Fred praises as he presses another finger into her slick cunt, letting his thumb rub small circles into her clit. “I love this pretty pussy so much, wife. Gonna eat it every fucking day of the week.”

He takes her clit back between his lips as he fucks her with his fingers, needing her to cum before he can give her what they both desperately need. His cock aches as Y/N grinds down against his face, the feel of her taking control of her pleasure only turning him on more. Fred’s tongue flicks at her clit as his lips suck, and he can tell by the way her cunt grips his fingers that she’s close. 

“Cum for me, baby. Cum all over my hand so I can have you cumming all over my cock.”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Y/N babbles as Fred licks her, fingers tugging him even closer into her as she grinds against him. Waves of pleasure are swirling in her core, electric shocks radiating all down her spine as Fred brings her closer and closer to the edge. He makes her feel like she’s on fire, completely erasing the few weak orgasms she had last night from her memory.

Fred wraps his arm around her thigh to keep Y/N in place as her orgasm takes over, his fingers and mouth still working her through the pleasure. Y/N’s toes curl as pleasure consumes her, thighs quivering as a cry of Fred’s name leaves her lips. Aftershocks of pleasure send shivers down her spine, and Y/N has to use her grip on Fred’s hair to separate his mouth from her cunt as she comes down. 

He doesn’t say anything as he crawls back up the bed, letting Y/N catch her breath before he leans down to kiss her softly. Her legs wrap around his hips, the need for Fred to be close overwhelming her need to get off for a brief moment. 

“Need you inside me,” Y/N murmurs against Fred’s mouth, her legs tightening around him. 

“Needy girl,” Fred teases, nipping at her jaw. But with one final kiss to her lips he pulls back, climbing off the bed so he can rid himself of the rest of his clothes. Who is he to deny the needs of his wife, the woman growing his child? 

Y/N makes a move to pull the jersey she’s wearing up over her head, and Fred grabs her wrist, shaking his head. 

“No, the jersey stays on.”

Fred’s pretty sure he hears her mumble something about him being a possessive idiot, but he doesn’t even care. Settling on the bed, back against the headboard with his cock leaking against his stomach, he beckons Y/N closer. “Come sit on my lap and make yourself cum on my cock, baby.”

Under normal circumstances she’d make some joke about how he’s making her do all the work, but her cunt is already aching again and if she doesn’t get Fred’s cock in the next three minutes she may die. Y/N crawls up the bed, shivering at the look in Fred’s eyes. It’s full of nothing but pure desire, and she can feel her heartbeat pulsing in her clit. At one point she feared that pregnancy may change the way Fred looks at her, and now as she straddles his waist Y/N can’t believe what an idiot she had been. 

One of Fred’s hands lands on her hip, the other on her bump and the contact sends a shiver down her spine. It takes a little bit of finesse with her bump in the way, but as soon as Y/N has Fred’s cock pressed against her cunt she’s sinking down. She’s slick enough from Fred’s mouth and her previous orgasm that she presses down until she’s fully seated in his lap, and her eyes flutter shut from the pleasure coursing through her veins. 

Fred is so thick and full inside her, and Y/N just sits there in his lap, eyes closed and her head tilted back as she appreciates the feel of him inside her. Y/N’s cunt pulses around him, and with how desperate she’s been to feel her husband like this, she already feels embarrassingly close to her climax already. 

“Fuck you are perfect,” Fred groans as her hips start to gently rock. He fixes her jersey so the hem rests on the top of her bump, wanting to see it in all of its glory. With one hand squeezing her thigh, Fred places the other on her stomach to help keep her balance. “So fucking full aren’t you, wife? So full of my cock and my baby, hm? Love being full of me, don’t you?”

“Yes,” she responds breathily, leaning back to brace herself against Fred’s thighs. The new angle lets him sink even deeper, and a sharp gasp falls from her mouth at the sensation. “Always wanna be full like this.”

“With my baby or my cock?” he teases. 

“Both,” Y/N hits back truthfully.

“Fuck,” Fred growls, unable to keep his hips from thrusting. The moan that comes from Y/N spurs him on, and he continues to match her movements with his own. “Whatever my wife wants my wife gets. Gonna keep you nice and full with my cock and my cum and my babies until we’ve got a whole fucking hockey team, baby. And no one will ever doubt who you, who this fucking pussy, belongs too.”

Her cunt clenches even tighter at his words, encouraging Fred to keep talking. 

“Look at you, my pretty little wife, fucking herself on my cock. Bet you thought about this the whole time I was gone, didn’t you, love?”

“Fuck, yes,” Y/N moans. She’s inching closer and closer to her orgasm with each of her movements, thighs quivering from a mixture of the pleasure swirling in her core and the effort it’s taking to fuck herself on Fred’s cock. 

“Fuck you look so good like this, baby,” Fred praises. “Not gonna be able to take you like this much longer, am I? I swear everytime I look at you, your belly is bigger. It’s not long until you’ll be too big to ride me like this, isn’t that right, love? But that’s okay, because you look so fucking good all full of my baby. Seeing you like this, knowing I did this, makes me feel fucking feral, baby. You’re doing such a great job, growing our baby. Gonna be such a good Mama.”

The combination of Fred’s cock stretching Y/N to her limits and the constant stream of praise coming from Fred pushes Y/N over the edge, and her back arches as she comes. Shocks of pleasure jolt out from her cunt, her clit aching and her toes curling as her orgasm washes over her in waves. 

The feel of Y/N’s walls pulsing around Fred’s cock as she moans his name pushes him to his own climax, his hips just barely pushing up into her as he empties himself into her eager cunt. 

“Taking it so well, baby. Fuck.”

He places a hand on her lower back for support as they both come down, the hand he has on her bump rubbing soothing circles into the skin. When having her in his lap starts to get uncomfortable, Fred carefully lifts her off, maneuvering so he can lay Y/N next to him on the bed without jostling her too much. 

Finally feeling satisfied, Y/N watches Fred move around their room through her barely open eyes, too tired to try and stay awake any longer. She lets him move her around too clean up, a soft whine coming from her lips when he pulls the jersey up and off over her head. But she’s immediately placated when Fred helps her into one of his old t-shirts, and she doesn’t even fight him as he pulls sleep shorts up her legs. 

He disappears into their bathroom then, and Y/N is practically asleep by the time he reemerges and gets into bed beside her. But instead of Fred pulling her into his arms like she expected, her eyes open in surprise as Fred pushes up the hem of her shirt just enough to expose her bump.

“What are you doing?” she murmurs, tone laced with humor. 

“What does it look like?” Fred responds as he pours lotion into his hands, rubbing them together to warm it up. He cradles her stomach carefully, slowly starting to massage her skin. “I’m taking care of both of my girls.”

[httpvomitello]

I GOT AN IDEA :D

Ok so, reader is 2012 April's best friend but reader is male so the turtles think they are dating.

After donnie gets jelous one day after april brags about what reader made for her (also thinking wielder reader, like working with metal so thinking jewelry and or small weapons , the turtles and casey ask if they are dating when april let's it slip that reader is gay.

Maybe there could be a think where reader gains a crush on one of the turtles and starts making small things for them like rings that fit their hands, bracelets, small pocket knives hes made just for them, ext, I think it would be pretty neat

You don't have to do this ask of course, your writing is so much fun to ready, I always have a blast reading your work :D

Hello, hello! Thank you for enjoying reading what I write, it makes me very happy! Although requests are CLOSED at the moment, reading your request made me want to write about it, so... Yeah, I did. But guys, please read the rules, so you know when it's okay to ask! Anyway, I hope you like it ~ ♡♡♡♡

Do you want to go out with me? *⁠.⁠✧

It was a normal evening in the lair when the conversation turned toward April. It wasn’t unusual—she was a frequent topic of discussion, especially for Donnie—but this time, it wasn’t her escapades with school or her time spent with the Turtles that got them talking. It was you.

You, April’s best friend, had recently made her a stunning bracelet, one of your many custom metalwork creations. She’d shown it off with pride during one of her visits to the lair, gushing about how thoughtful and talented you were.

“You should’ve seen it, guys,” she said, holding out her wrist for the hundredth time. “Y/N made it by hand! He even personalized it with little engravings—look, it has my initials!”

Donnie’s mood visibly soured as April raved about your talent and kindness. He crossed his arms, his lips pressed into a thin line.

“Sounds like you two are pretty close,” he muttered, trying (and failing) to sound indifferent.

“Of course we are! Y/N’s been my best friend for years,” April replied.

Raph smirked, leaning back against the wall. “Yeah, but is he just your best friend? 'Cause it sounds like Donnie here’s thinkin’ otherwise.”

“Shut up, Raph,” Donnie snapped, his face flushing a deep shade of red.

April blinked, then let out a loud laugh. “Oh my gosh, you guys think Y/N and I are dating?”

“Well, yeah,” Mikey said, popping a slice of pizza into his mouth. “I mean, you’re always talking about him, and he makes you stuff. Kinda sounds like boyfriend material to me.”

Casey chimed in with a snort. “Can’t blame the guy if he’s into you. You’re a catch, Red.”

April waved her hands frantically. “No, no, no! You’ve got it all wrong! Y/N’s gay!”

The room fell silent.

“Oh,” Mikey said, pizza halfway to his mouth. “Well, that explains a lot.”

Donnie’s eyes widened as he processed the information, a mix of relief and embarrassment washing over him. “Wait, seriously?”

“Yeah,” April confirmed, laughing. “I can’t believe you guys thought we were dating. He’s like my brother.”

From that moment, the tension eased… or so it seemed. Donnie couldn’t help but feel a little guilty for assuming the worst about you. When you visited the lair a few days later, he kept his distance at first, unsure how to act around you now that he knew the truth.

But you? You were completely unfazed.

“Hey, Donatello,” you greeted with a warm smile as you approached him. “April’s told me all about your tech skills. Pretty impressive stuff.”

Donnie blinked, caught off guard by your casual friendliness. “Uh, thanks,” he replied, fiddling with the edge of his staff.

“You know,” you continued, “I’ve been thinking about making something for you guys. April says you’re always busy saving the city, so I figured you could use a little appreciation.”

Donnie’s face flushed slightly. “That’s... really thoughtful of you.”

True to your word, you started crafting small gifts for each of the Turtles. It started with practical things—like a custom pocket knife for Raph and a set of throwing stars for Mikey—but over time, your gifts became more personal.

For Donnie, you made a sleek metal bracelet with subtle engravings of his favorite equations. He stared at it for a long time when you gave it to him, tracing the intricate designs with his fingers.

“This is... incredible,” he said softly.

You shrugged, trying to play it cool. “It’s nothing, really. Just thought it might be your style.”

Donnie looked up at you, his heart skipping a beat. “It’s perfect.”

It wasn’t long before the others started picking up on your growing interest in Donnie. You spent more time in his lab, asking questions about his inventions and offering to help where you could. You even started bringing him snacks when he got too absorbed in his work to eat.

Mikey was the first to notice.

“Dude,” he whispered one night when you’d stepped out of the lab. “Y/N totally likes you.”

Donnie nearly dropped the tool he was holding. “What? That’s ridiculous.”

“C’mon, it’s so obvious!” Mikey insisted. “He’s always hanging around you, making you stuff, bringing you food. That’s love language if I’ve ever seen it.”

Donnie tried to brush it off, but the more he thought about it, the more Mikey’s words made sense.

One evening, as you were finishing up a new project in your workshop—a custom screwdriver set for Donnie. You found yourself wondering if Donnie notice the little things you did for him? Did he even like you back?

You decided to take a chance.

The next time you visited the lair, you handed Donnie the screwdriver set with a shy smile. “I made this for you,” you said, your voice quieter than usual.

Donnie took the set, his eyes widening as he examined each piece. “You made this?”

“Yeah,” you replied, rubbing the back of your neck nervously. “I figured it might come in handy for your lab stuff.”

Donnie looked up at you, a soft smile spreading across his face. “Y/N, this is... amazing. Thank you.”

You hesitated, then decided to just go for it. “Donnie, can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” he said, setting the tools aside.

You took a deep breath. “Do you... I mean, would you want to go out sometime? Like, just the two of us?”

Donnie’s eyes widened, and for a moment, you thought you’d completely misread the situation. But then he smiled—soft and genuine—and nodded.

“I’d like that,” he said.

Your heart swelled with relief and excitement as you returned his smile.

[nabi-unveiled]

Nabi Notices (April 22 23, 2025)

It was so much fun getting to play the emoji tag game this week. I actually have a notebook where I've played/wrote down my guesses on these types of games when I was lurking in the past so it was a lot of fun getting to actually participate. I joked that it felt like I had talked to people all day when I had only said 10 words in real life. I mean that literally. I counted them.

But I now have very few brain cells left. 😂

This is further evidenced by the fact that I went to sleep before midnight yesterday. That almost NEVER happens. I have to do most of my "serious" show watching at night so I burn a lot of midnight oil.

I'm very grateful to @soypim for this epic exercise in distraction and work procrastination.

The Things I Noticed This Week:

People have strong feelings about Heesu in Class 2. I've been reading a lot of the commentary on Heesu since I find the discussions and different interpretations/reactions interesting. I always find it intriguing when people have such strong but opposite reactions to the same thing.

(The answer to that question is yes btw.)

I've only watched through episode four as I've prioritized Love for Love's Sake over Heesu since both shows are long form posts. I now wonder where I'll end up on this spectrum of reactions when I do get around to watching it. It's hard to tell.

In things I did watch...it was a lot. I was initially shocked by how many shows I made it through at least one episode of this week (13+). Especially as it still felt like I slept, and I actually engaged in multiple social activities. But then I remembered that I didn't write as many posts this past week, and that probably is correlated.

The "winners" for the week:

Fabulous Fit

This V-neck sweater in Love for Love's Sake won my fit for the week.

My brain just keeps wondering how it would feel. I've thought about this sweater way too many times in the past week. Would it be fuzzy? Would it be itchy? Is it as soft as it looks? Or would the texture give it a rougher feel? It looks like a heavier material. How weighted would it be? For the record, weight is often a good thing for clothing in my book. However, I hate the wall color. I haven't mentioned it in my posts about LFLS. It could be symbolic. But I hate that wall color SO VERY MUCH that any interpretation would be biased.

Honorable mentions to Jin Hwan from Business as Usual and Ji Hoon from Something's Not Right. I enjoyed a lot of Jin Hwan's looks, and I would love to add this white jacket to my closet.

Fascinating Find

Thanks to the emoji game, I now have a new show (Triage) to add to my "everyone else seems to have seen it" list. I now just have to decide which show to indulge in next as one of my backlist watches.

I also identified two shows that I know I started and watched in part but must have dipped out on when life got busy. Because the likelihood that I completely forgot about a character fervently praying in I Saw You in My Dream or the olive oil in I Feel You Linger in the Air....not high. Not high at all.

Maybe I should start a spreadsheet like so many of you all seem to do. I've just mostly kept records in my brain, but it's obviously not an accurate way to keep track.

Fantastic Frame

I can't even pretend my fantastic frame this week was due to symbolic purposes or even strong use of cinematography. I actually struggled to decide exactly WHICH frame from the scene I wanted to include. But thanks Fight For You.

We're vertical. There's pinning. There's a mirror. Need I say more?

Fun Fluorish

The sticky note intros in My Stubborn was such a fun touch. I wish I could read them without using a translation app, but I loved it as a way to introduce the characters. We got a lot of information quickly.

That said - I need this woman on my screen more. 👀

Favorite Fragment

When I first watched Business as Usual this past week, I thought this line would be my fragment of the week.

That line hit me HARD. I felt it in the core of my being. I've SAID a variation of that line before in a conversation with my husband. We've been together twenty years, but we have very different memories about certain events. We're both very introverted people who keep a lot of thoughts in our heads so that's no surprise. We've had to learn how to TALK and get the words out of our heads. Honestly, we're still working on it. It's why, as painful and scary as those conversations can be, Jin Hwan and Min Joon are both going to NEED to use their words.

But as hard as that line hit me, it's not the line I've dwelled on as the week progressed. It's this one:

Accompanied by a set of dialogue from this week's episode of When Live Gives You Tangerines.

I'm older than both of these characters, but I understand these thoughts so well. I struggle with it now probably more than I did in my early 20s. Back then, I thought I knew the answers. But as life becomes increasingly complicated, as I've learned so much more about the world around me, as I've embraced my own sexuality and deconstructed religiously, and as I now have to navigate explaining those things to my children -> I don't know anything.

My 10 year old asked me a really important question just this week that I had to say "I don't know the answer to that." His response "How am I supposed to figure it out if the adults don't know?" My thought - I wish I knew kid. But I told him, "We'll just have to keep working on it together." It's the best I had at the moment.

I will also say that this line in Tangerines cracked me up a bit too. My daughter recently conducted a survey to see how people would describe me in three adjectives. It was a wild experience. Not a single word was repeated. My husband describes me as "wife, mother, writer". Not one adjective in the bunch. 🤣

At this point, this section probably should've been it's own post. Moving on.

Feral Fan

This was a special category I created for the week, but I felt it was important to include. This category probably won't be a weekly occurrence. It will be reserved for a moment that I had a strong emotional reaction to while watching.

As in - I might have been LOUDLY yelling at the screen during Top Form. I just really really really wanted Jun to squeeze harder and choke the bastard. There is no redemption possible here. I will throw things.

My Queue for the Coming Week:

As always, I'll watch other things. I just don't know what.

Something's Not Right (Ep 3/4)

Business as Usual (Ep 4)

Top Form (Ep 7)

Love for Love's Sake (Finish Ep 4/Ep 5)

When Life Gives You Tangerines (Ep 6)

Cooking Crush (remaining episodes)

[bengiyo]

BL 2023 Review

I wasn’t sure how I wanted to write about BL for this year. I was originally going to do a The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly framework for it, but that feels meaner than I actually am about it. Instead, I think I’ll just write out some sections and unpack some things I felt along the way.

I Watched Too Much Again

Last year I engaged with about 92 productions around the world. This year it was 99 (I tracked stuff I completed here). Sure I dropped 18 of them this year, but goddamn. The problem with watching as much as I did this year is that I worked full time this year and also maintained a separate hobby. I also continued my twice-weekly watch sessions with my friend Emily, so there are an additional 100-ish watch sessions in here of rewatching, plus a few other rewatches (Theory of Love and My Ride most notably).

One of my struggles at this point is I’m far too familiar with the genre, and find myself feeling impatient and irritable with shows that aren’t to my taste the way I used to. Throughout the late summer and fall I found myself increasingly grumpier about the genre, and it didn’t get better until I had a holiday and basically slept a day to get some energy back. I also found myself growing apart from fans I’ve known and followed a long time. It’s been a difficult year for me as a long-time fan because my tastes, habits, and friendships in the genre have changed even if the amount I watch hasn’t really.

I Wrote a Lot This Year

I recently converted my watch tag away from my gaming internet persona to just my shortname, so all near-1000 of my Stray Thoughts posts can be found under #ben watches now. I’ve also been going back and adding #ben writes to some of the standalone pieces that I really liked. In reviewing them, the pieces I’m happiest about are my ode to Framboise from Kabe Koji Nekoyashiki-kun Desires to Be Recognized, my post begging everyone to watch La Pluie, my post about what it means to actually like queer men, my SBS ep 10 post that ended up being wrong, my post about the Lavender Scare and Be My Favorite, my Tokyo in April is… post about the breaking of the BL line,

However, the two posts I am most proud of is my half-joking response about why I think tagging each other back and forth across Tumblr in our writing is so important. and The Knowing: Being Queer in BL because I had so much great conversations with folks as a result of both of these posts.

Looking back at my own blog, this is probably the most active I’ve been in my entire time on this website, so thank you to everyone who interacted with me this year, because it really is people talking to me that gets me most inspired to write things down. Big shout out to @lurkingshan who will bug me repeatedly until I blog something that I said in passing.

We Started a Podcast!

After hanging out with @shortpplfedup since Bad Buddy, she got inspired and really wanted to bring something different to the BL podcasting sphere. I had time, and liked talking with her enough, so we started @the-conversation-pod. Now we’re a full year into it and planning out future stuff. It’s been so much fun being able to get things off my soul and break poor NiNi in our recording sessions.

From this year, I think my favorite episodes we did were The Moonlight Chicken Episode, the Eighth Sense episode, the ITSAY Anniversary Episodes,  The Wedding Plan episode, , and The Holiday Clip Show. Huge shout out to @ginnymoonbeam for anchoring the transcription process, and @lurkingshan for editing.

The VIIB Awards will begin airing soontm so look forward to that.

Favorite New Term: Business Gay Performance

Let’s be clear, Bump Up Business is not good. It is an obvious BL cash grab from OnlyOneOf that seeks to comment on the fake nature of BL while doing everything it can to trick the audience into believing that the BL pair is real.

Before we got deeper into this year, I was a big fan of a certain pairing, and then their fans took it too far and it affected the way I engaged with their performances and their work. I like that we have a new term for “fanservice” that communicates that you understand that this is for work. (thanks to NiNi for this comparison) I can look at the latest behind the scenes video from Last Twilight and say that I think Sea really understands the work they’re doing, and he and Jimmy have a very relaxed and mature version of BGP without feeling like I’m feeding into shipping.

Do I think they’re dating? No. Do I like the way they fake it? Absolutely!

I can look at one of @respectthepetty posts about Yin and War having personalized, color-coded mics, and we can talk about the next level BGP between the two and both communicate that we know that this is a performance.

It actually makes the extra PR work fun for me again, because now I can just shout “BGP! BGP! BGP!” and it not feel like I’m giving myself brainrot.

Thai BL Needs to Finish Stronger Next Year

Let’s get into some of the show stuff. This year was defined for me by Thai BL starting strong with good premises and then squandering them by not focusing on the details that mattered or leaning into baseless melodrama. Time for some reads. Some of these shows were generally good, but they failed at these things:

609 Bedtime Story: The world building crumpled in the back half and both endings are flat.

A Boss and a Babe: Cher is a pro gamer who worked for a gaming company and there was no plot point about this at all, or collaboration between the two groups.

Bake Me Please: Why was a show about cake so lacking in flavor?

Be Mine SuperStar: You had a real opportunity to explore a fan and idol romance and had Punn show so little growth. I hope the footage of First’s range is helpful now that Ja is out of BL.

Be My Favorite: You redid that whole amusement park date and muddled so much of what the hell happened on that day.

Between Us: You had years to make this interesting. Why are there five pairs and why is the end of this a JC Penny catalog photoshoot?

Dangerous Romance: What the fuck happened to the Sailom we had in episode 1 and 2 before that gun incident?

Hidden Agenda: Tee, what the hell was this? Twelve weeks of this?

I Feel You Linger in the Air: You may be the most beautiful show, with some of the most impressive performances of the year, but you absolutely botched this ending. Finish the goddamn season next time.

Love in Translation: I love you, but that whole kidnapping plot was so stupid at the end.

Low Frequency: I like your OST. That's about it.

My Dear Gangster Oppa: No examination about how gaming friendships become close quickly because of the combination of anonymity and teamwork (shout out to @twig-tea for this excellent summation).

My School President: Saving your gay commentary for the final episode felt like a conservative choice. I want more from you next time.

Naughty Babe: You retconned your own characters to tell a worse story. Unforgiveable.

Never Let Me Go: You didn’t know if you wanted to be a high school BL or a mafia story. It was difficult to watch.

Only Friends: I cannot believe you did Boston like that at the end. Either give Force’s character a clear personality next time, or keep him enigmatic; half measures make him and Book look worse. Sand was absolutely embarrassing. Boeing was a waste. Ending on all of them paired like that felt so unearned.

Step By Step: You forgot to ground Jeng’s external dreams at the end, so the final two episodes are just frustrating.

I’m glad I got that off my chest. We can go into the next year now.

Korea Put in the Work This Year

I really like the efforts from the various Korean studios this year. I really hope we get a Strongberry joint next year, but I want to acknowledge that we had 18 Korean BL dramas I watched this year, and at least three of them I think are must watches: Our Dating Sim, Sing My Crush, and The Eighth Sense. Beyond that, I think Love Tractor, Unintentional Love Story, and A Breeze of Love are easy recommendations.

It’s really impressive how the complaint for me this year with Korean BL is not about them using their time poorly. It’s more about normal drama concerns, where I think characterization is a little weak, or a theme doesn’t land squarely. This rapid iteration from the Korean studios is really impressive to watch, and I’m excited to see what some of the recognized players do next year.

Taiwan and The Philippines Have Been Quiet for Me

I wasn’t really able to connect with much from the Philippines this year except for The Day I Loved You. I never wrote about The Day I Loved You, but this beautiful and heart wrenching show is one of my favorites from this year. I wasn’t too keen on the Oxin Films offerings of this year, and I’m still chasing down the ones from The IdeaFirst Company.

As for Taiwan, this new BL project from the end of the year just isn’t hitting. Kiseki: Dear to Me also ended up really hurting me with the way they used Wayne Song and Huang Chun Chih. I love that angry little man with the white hair, but I’m still salty about Wayne and the general mess of that show.

Japan was Busy This Year

I watched 16 new shows, a few older ones, and a few movies this year from Japan. We haven’t gotten this much from them ever. I continue to love the Drama Shower project from MBS, and my beloved What Did You Eat Yesterday? returned this year. We had pretty stellar outings with Our Dining Table, If It’s With You, and I Cannot Reach You.

I think a third of the Japanese BL I’ve tracked on MDL actually released this year. That’s huge.

Still, I am going to side eye Minato’s Laundromat 2. You were the show that let me down the most this entire year. More than Only Friends, more than Step By Step, and even more than Kiseki. You absolutely blew it. You were telling a great story about a man with an acute case of internalized homophobia coming out of his shell and learning to love his younger partner and you blew it for stupid amnesia nonsense. I will never forgive you for this.

Where Were All the Uncles This Year?

Really, without Jim from Moonlight Chicken, and without the men from What Did You Eat Yesterday? we had an alarming dearth of older gay characters passing on knowledge and wisdom to the youngsters this year. What the hell happened?

Rare Dynamics Won: Second Chance Romance and Friends to Lovers!

We had so much second chance romance this year. It’s really my favorite version of gay romance because gays don’t always have ideal settings when they’re young. We had Our Dating Sim, Individual Circumstances, Jun & Jun, The End of the World With You, Tokyo in April is…, Be My Favorite, Love Class Season 2, and A Breeze of Love. I am satisfied.

Friends to Lovers is actually so rare in romance and we have so many to choose from this year! The best examples are I Cannot Reach You and Sing My Crush, but we also have one of the pairs in Love Class Season 2.

Gay Thoughts

I had a couple of ongoing thoughts this year about queerness in BL.

First, I want to return to my post about Sing My Crush and La Pluie, and how I assert that Men Need to Be Angry Sometimes. More than giving men grace to be righteously angry or upset about things, along with letting them express it in ugly ways, I really want to get into how we engage with these shows. I will stop engaging with moralistic reads on characters in 2024. I will no longer engage with asks, reblogs, or meta gripping the fandom where we're judging the moral fiber of the character.

The question that really only matters for me at this point is: Is this act from the character justified from their characterization, the narrative, or genre conventions; and is it interesting? Whether or not the character is good or bad reeks of the lame arguments about good and bad representation, and I am not watching BL like I’m being graded in Sunday school.

The second thing I really want to acknowledge at the end of the year is that the gay sex is finally getting better again. I watched The Novelist this year, and we have taken so long to get back to the space that show took us on the portrayal of male-male intimacy. We are in the genre about people with dicks. It should feel like it. There should be a masculine component there that feels specific to queer intimacy.

I will acknowledge 2 Cutie 2 Pie, A Boss and a Babe, Be Mine SuperStar, Bed Friend, Candy Color Paradox, For Him, I Cannot Reach You, Kiseki: Dear to Me, La Pluie, Love Class 2, Love in Translation, Love Mate, Middleman’s Love, Naughty Babe, Only Friends, The End of the World With You, Tokyo in April is…, and Wedding Plan for your contributions.

Final Thoughts

I like how broad the genre felt this year, and I enjoyed how much speculative fiction is entering into the conversation. I don’t know how I feel about there being five vampire stories in the works next year, but overall I’m glad that we’re getting more experimental concepts. I’m burnt out on the college engineering BL, and would like to see more shows about working adults.

Despite how grumpy I was for at least three months, I think this has genuinely been one of the best years we’ve ever had in the genre. I made a lot of new friends in BL this year, and I’m excited to see what comes next. Thank you all for spending some of your time with me this year and I’ll see you in the next one.

[supercorpkid]

Yours Truly, Pink Kryptonite

Supergirl. Kara Danvers x Reader!, Alex Danvers, Lena Luthor

Word Count: 3003.

"As you can see here, we'll start this presentation with an overview of the current business –" You look out the window to see Supergirl staring at you and waving excitedly. "landscape, and, um, the importance of embracing innovation." 

You look around, making sure no one is paying attention to the Kryptonian calling out for you from the other side of the window. What the hell could she possibly want right in the middle of your most important work presentation ever?

You obviously know Kara does a lot of things, but working 9 to 5 isn't one of them. She runs off from CatCo whenever she wants or has an emergency.

Emergency! God, there must be an emergency!

Your mouth dries, and your eyes widen. "Or, you know, everyone knows this." You look at your boss, furrowing his brows at you. "We know our company and where we stand. So instead of wasting our time with the introduction, why don't we just skip to –" You press the control skipping through basically half of your presentation. "the expansion to new markets. And who better to talk about that than my team! I'll leave it to you guys, and will answer to this very important call from our program developer. We know he hates to wait. I'm sorry. I have to –" 

You slip out of the conference room, heart on your throat, completely unaware of what you just said in there.

Supergirl meets you at the balcony of your office with a wide smile. "Kara!" You close the door behind you, looking around you to make sure no one is paying attention or seeing the both of you through glassy walls. "What's the emergency?"

Kara tilts her head to the sides, like a confused puppy. "Emergency?"

You touch her arms, looking for something that could explain why she is here in the middle of the day. "Yes! I mean, isn't there an emergency?"

"Not that I'm aware of." She smiles widely.

It's your turn to master your most confused face. "Then why are you here?"

"Oh!" Kara lets go of your arm, and puts a lock of your hair behind your ear. "I came to ask you out."

"What?"

"On a date! Tonight!" You're still looking at her like you haven't got the faintest idea of what's going on. "Maybe lunch?" She tries to get a different reaction. "Now?"

You look around. This must be a prank. Is someone filming this? Is today April Fools? Surely not. 

"You're not saying no." Her smile brightens up, like this is the most amazing thing that's ever happened. "So that means I can fly the hottest woman out of here right now?"

"What?" You repeat, yet again, baffled by everything that is happening. "You can't. I — I'm working."

"And you sounded so smart in that board meeting, baby." 

"Baby?" You whisper to yourself, more confused now than before. If that's even possible.

"But work is boring," Kara strokes your cheek lightly. "and you're honestly so pretty that I'm sure you'd never have to work if you wanted. Oh! You know what, we should do that!"

"Never work again?" You ask and she agrees enthusiastically. "It's not like you do anyways." You try a little joke and Kara laughs like you just said the funniest thing in the universe.

She composes herself, after a loud snort. "Ok. So you're smart, and pretty, and hot and funny. Golly, how did I get so lucky to get you to go on a date with little old me?"

You open your mouth a couple of times, but keep your comments to yourself. She is literally Supergirl; You never said yes to any date; and WHAT THE HELL! Are some of the things you refrain from saying.

"Kara, I have to go back to work. This presentation is really important." You point to the door and she agrees, once again, vividly with her head. 

"Ok, ok. But lunch?"

"I can't. I have a meeting with the developer." She pouts like a child, and you can't say no to her. Not when she looks so adorable. You breathe deep. "Dinner."

Kara bites her lower lip, holding back a huge smile. "Dinner is perfect. I'll organize everything, and you just have to go and be pretty, which is basically what you do all day anyways."

You furrow your brows one more time and agree with a nod. You make your way to the door, and make a mental note to call Alex and ask her what the hell! 

"Hey baby," You look over your shoulders and back at her one more time. "Your butt looks awesome in this outfit." 

"Thanks?" While your face burns red in embarrassment. 

You spend the rest of the day trying to concentrate on your work, but you can't really because you need to understand what happened between you and Kara this morning.

Sure, you two are used to a little bit of flirting. Subtle and awfully vague. Just little jokes that usually makes Kara completely uncomfortable, and makes her blush in no time. And now, just out of fucking nowhere, she is calling you baby and asking you out on dates?

You: hey! Kara's a bit off today. Something happened? Alex 🌈: oh, yeah. Pink Kryptonite. Why? You: great! One more! What does this one do? Alex 🌈: not sure. Just discovered it. Send me a list of symptoms.

A list of symptoms. Ok. You can do this. 1. She looked extremely happy. But that's not a symptom. 2. She had the courage to ask you out. Could that be a symptom? No. Surely not. Asking people out is not a symptom of being exposed to kryptonite. 3. She called you baby. Yeah, you don't have a list.

You: IDK, just weird. We'll meet up later and I'll try to investigate further. Alex 🌈: great! Will do the same from here.

Not good enough. You look down on your phone one more time. Change conversations.

You: hey! did you happen to see Kara today? Lena the witch: Yeah… You: everything alright? Lena the witch: If by alright you mean weird, then sure.  You: weird how? Lena the witch: She spent the entire duration of our lunch saying you butt looked great today. You: got it ✨super weird✨. Lena the witch: What's up with that? You: unsure. will let you know as soon as I figure it out.

You get ready for your date. It feels weird thinking about it. You've been kinda flirting kinda joking with Kara for a long while. You never thought this was going anywhere. It's not like you didn't want it to happen, but Kara Danvers is not gay. Which is unfortunate for you.

Except today she was the gayest of the gays. Queen of the lesbians. So you can't help but look in the mirror one more time, before saying out loud this time, "What the hell!"

Of course you like the idea of you and Kara going on a date, but it feels hard to enjoy this when it is so sudden and out of the blue. Just yesterday when you were leaving the Tower late at night and said goodbye with a simple, 'see you later handsome', Kara blushed so hard, she lost all her words and stumbled on her own two feet on the way out the elevator. How was she so smooth this morning?

You open the door, after the doorbell rings once. Kara is on the other side, the brightest smile on her face and flowers on her hands. "Hey baby."

You blush furiously. Can't keep your body in check, no matter how much you want to not enjoy this moment before you find out exactly what's going on with Kara.

"You look incredible. You always look incredible." She makes sure, a thumb sliding on your cheek delicately. And it's only the second time she's done this, and you're already addicted to it. "Oh, I brought your favorite flowers."

You look at it, bite your lower lip and hold your breath. She looks beautiful. Like an angel in front of you. Blonde waves cascading down her shoulders, blue eyes as bright as the day sky, smile as wide and white as possible, and she is here holding your favorite flowers. How the hell are you going to resist her?

"Thanks, baby.” God, no! What are you doing? No flirting! 

You turn around, putting the flowers on a vase, and trying to keep your hands and yourself busy so you don't jump on her and kiss her senseless. "Hey, what does Pink Kryptonite do?"

"Um, Pink Kryptonite?" Kara plays coy and you don't even have to look behind yourself to know she is smoothing her hand over her vest, right after touching her glasses. "Where did you see that?"

"Well, baby," You turn around to face her. "it seems that you've been exposed to it." Kara's mouth drops, not knowing what to say. You close the distance. "And believe me, I'm loving what's happening here, but I need to know if this is you or the kryptonite talking. So, what does it do?"

"It turns Kryptonians alittlegay." She mumbles under her breath, and it is only with much effort from your part that you understand it.

Your face drops. "Right." 

It's not like you're shocked about her revelation, she was acting like the lesbian jesus right after being exposed to a hot new type of kryptonite (why so many?). You breathe out, looking at the flowers and trying to ignore your selfish heart and desire to just go along with it.

"You should go."

"What?" Kara's eyes get full of tears. "But, the dinner."

"You're not in love with a woman, Kara. The effects of the kryptonite will fade and you'll regret this whole thing. So before we do something that can ruin our friendship, you should go." 

A tear falls from her eye, and she bites her lower lip to keep herself from crying out loud. Your heart is squeezing in your chest and you're having to summon all of your strength to keep going with this and not just simply kiss her better. 

"But that's not it." She tries, sounding small and in pain.

"Kara, it's ok." It's your turn to stroke her cheek lovingly and carefully, wiping the single tear away. "It was fun, but it isn't you. And for this to happen, I need to be you. Ok?" You're explaining yourself with caution, almost as if you're talking to a child. She agrees with her head, slowly, looking small in her tall body. "Don't worry. It will wear off soon, and you'll be yourself again. And you’ll be glad this didn’t happen." You kiss her cheek and give her a wistful smile.

Kara makes her way out of your apartment, crestfallen and so disheartened you almost feel bad. You take a deep breath. She'll be fine. She'll thank you for this when she wakes up free of the Pink Kryptonite.

Gee, a kryptonite that turns them gay. What the hell was going on in Krypton? But also, you wish you were there. The parties must have been wild.

You turn around in your bed, the flowers that Kara brought keep haunting you, because you decided to put them right next to your bed. You sit up, rubbing your face awake. Why the hell did you kick Kara out the door? It could've happened! It could finally have happened! Why didn't you take advantage of it?

Oh yeah. Yours truly, Pink Kryptonite. Ugh. She didn't really want you, she was just gay for a day. You roll your eyes to yourself. Now you'll just have to live with the awkwardness and the desire while you're around her. Great.

You hear a light tap on the glass and you let out a shit-scare scream, only to see Supergirl flying on the other side of your window. You hear a soft, "sorry." when she realizes how shaken you got.

You open the window to find a glowing Supergirl, and it doesn't take much deducing to understand she's been under the yellow sun bed for a while.

"I flew as close as I could to the sun." She explains, still on the other side, but it's quick to make her way inside. "The yellow sun emulators are alright, but there's nothing better than the real thing."

"Yeah." It's all you can say.

"I wanted to get rid of the Pink Kryptonite as fast as possible." Kara explains it further, and finally puts her glass back so she can change back into her normal clothes. "I was going to wait until tomorrow, but I heard you were still up. I wanted to apologize."

"Whoa, I knew you'd regret it, but God that was fast. Must be some kind of new record for me." You sit back on your bed with a loud sigh.

"No, no." Kara is quick to follow you, kneeling in front of you and holding your hand. "I wanted to apologize for waiting for the kryptonite to finally show me what my life could've been like if I had a little bit of courage."

"Kara, you are the epitome of courage."

"No, I'm not. I've been wanting to ask you out for months and haven't got the courage." She confesses. "Do you know how many times I almost called you baby these past few weeks?"

"You said Pink Kryptonite turns Kryptonian gays." She shakes her head agreeing. "For you to be turned into something, you can't already be that something."

"It turned me extra gay." 

You bite your lip to hold back a laugh, but she's not scared of showing you her wide smile. "Let me show you."

"Show me what?" 

Kara perches up, thumb sliding across your cheek until her hand cups your face. "Let me show you that it wasn't the Pink Kryptonite that turned me gay." She brings your face closer. "Let me show you how you were the one that did it."

"Are you sure this isn't the Pink Kryptonite talking?"

"I'll tell you what," Her breath is hot in your mouth, and you're holding your own breath in anticipation. "why don't we go to sleep and when we wake up you can ask me again?"

"Ok." But your resolution is weakening by the minute, especially after she spoons you in bed and places a little goodnight kiss on your neck.

You wake up with more flowers and breakfast in bed. Kara has a warm smile, and she looks so damn beautiful just fresh out of bed it's annoying.

"Good morning, baby." She holds your face between her hands, thumb caressing your cheek in the way that makes your heart flutter. She’s obviously able to hear it.

You swallow deep. "Is this you or the Pink Kryptonite?"

"Why don't you ask me again after work?" Kara says feeding you a strawberry, and you agree weakly with your head.

She shows up at lunch time, and holds your smelly tuna sandwich out of your reach, convincing you that you deserve better food. She has it all set out on your balcony, a whole picnic that makes all of your colleagues so jealous of your lunch date. Little do they know she actually flew to Italy for that pasta.

And it's another thumb stroke and another, "Is this the Pink Kryptonite?" question that makes her head tilt a little bit farther and she reaches the corner of your mouth, instead of your lips.

"Ask me again at our dinner tonight."”

After work pick-ups and holding hands and perhaps it's Pink Kryptonite. Flowers and dinner dates and maybe it's just the exposure. Movie nights and cuddles and what if it is still turning you gay. Slow dancing to the TV light and thumbs slowly stroking your cheeks and why don't you ask again tomorrow. And that goes on for weeks.

Alex texts you that Kara was exposed to real Kryptonite this time. You know, not the one that turns her into the queen of gays, but the one that turns her bones into flaming hot goo. You run to the Tower and watch her unawake under the yellow sunlight. 

"Hey, it's ok." Alex holds your shoulder while you cry. "She'll be fine. A few hours under the sun and she's good as new."

"What?"

"Yeah, the effects of the kryptonite aren't lasting. It wears off if we deal with it fast."

"With all of the different types?" You furrow your brows at her and Alex agrees with her head.

Well, haven't you been wasting precious time?

You run into the medbay, and sit beside her bed. Like clockwork, a couple hours later, Kara's eyes open and she looks at you on the other side. "Hey baby."

"Oh my God, baby!" You run to her, not caring about anyone on the other side of the glass that might be able to see you both. You throw yourself at her, kissing her entire face. "You scared me."

She smiles widely. "And would do it again to have you kissing my face like that."

You hold her face between your hands, and slide your thumb across her cheek. "Don't you dare." She smiles, but soon her eyes widen when she realizes what's coming next. You meet her lips with yours softly. But soon she deepens the kiss, and next thing you know she's pulling you up the bed while sitting herself up. You’re full on sitting on her lap, while your lips crash and tongues slide and hands explore visible skin. And honestly, the yellow sunlight doesn’t help when you’re body already feels like it is on fire. 

Kara parts the kiss for some air, and looks at you with full-blown pupils. "Is this you or Pink Kryptonite?"

You roll your eyes and give her a chuckle. "Shut up and kiss me again before I think the Green Kryptonite is also turning you gay."

Kara’s tongue is almost inside your mouth again when you hear a yell from the other side of the glass.

"NO! Absolutely not! We can see everything!” Kara is quick to move her hands out of your butt. “That was more than enough!" 

Alex's face is red from yelling, Lena's face is red from embarrassment, and Nia's cellphone case is red from all the pictures she's been taking.

"Keep going! I'm gonna turn these into GIFs!"

You and Kara look at each other, "We should go." "Yeah."

So Kara was right, it wasn't the exposure that turned her gay. Still you do appreciate yours truly, Pink Kryptonite, because at least it gave her courage to be her true gay self.

[oldestfriend-invisibly]

Little Pril & Little Jennifer

Hello!! Sorry I went a month and a half without posting any fics, I was having an extremely stressful time.

I made a post a few weeks ago about April and Jenn hanging out together when regressed and decided to write a whole fic of it.

There's a mandatory, all-day meeting at the Washington office and whilst April is too small to attend it, Ben can't get out of going. Instead she gets to spend the day with Jenn who is also regressed (though older) and has been told she can't be in the meeting and agrees to watch over the younger girl.

4.8K words (I got carried away.)

Warnings- brief mention of harmful stimming during a meltdown. I've put [red brackets] around the paragraph it's mentioned in if you need to skip it.

...

Until now, Ben hadn’t actively taken April into the Washington office when she was regressed. She had slipped a couple of times whilst already there before, but he’d been able to let her nap or sit quietly next to him in his office. And if she was small in the morning, Ben would just call and request the day off work altogether. 

But today, April hadn’t been obviously small when she woke up. Ben had noticed she was a bit more tired and grumbly than usual, but April wasn’t exactly a morning person, so he brushed it off. Now however, they were in the car, running late, and all Ben was focussed on was preparing himself for the big important meeting they had that day that everybody in the office would be attending.

Ben was so focused on mentally running and re-running his planned discussion points and planned schedule for the day, he completely missed the fact that April’s Scooby Doo audiobook CD had been left in the player and that it had automatically started playing when he turned the car on. 

He was only made aware of this by the soft humming of April in the passenger seat beside him mumbling along to the Scooby Doo theme song that played between the end of one story and the beginning of another. Internally, Ben started panicking, knowing instantly that she was small, though wasn’t sure how far April had regressed. From the singing which was somewhat coherent- not quite bordering on babbling- he guessed she wasn’t as young as she often was, but also, probably wasn’t big enough to be able to sit through the meeting. 

Ben couldn’t exactly just get April to be big, knowing being forced out of her headspace would most likely cause April to melt down later on. Equally, Ben could not miss this meeting. The current project was in its most critical phase, and as its leader- they couldn’t coordinate it without him there.

Additionally, Ben knew the others back in Pawnee were currently equally as busy, so likely wouldn’t have any free time to sit on a video call to April to keep her company. The thought of leaving his girl alone in the office made Ben’s heart constrict with anxiety. 

Glancing momentarily away from the road and at April he observed the way she was wriggling around in her seat and heard the way she was parroting back the words spoken by the narrator on the CD. Whilst not understimulated to the point of upset, Ben could tell that today was a day where April was going to need pretty constant sensory input and thus ideally- supervision. However, whilst Ben would never ever describe April’s stimming as disruptive, he knew that the ignorant, irritable idiots he worked with would tolerate hearing the small girl absentmindedly echoing each word they spoke back to them just about as well as April would tolerate having to silently sit still for hours on end. 

Running out of time as they were nearing the office building, Ben’s only plan of action consisted of getting April sat down in a quiet corner of the empty office and queueing up a day’s worth of movies for her to watch, with a handful of toys to fiddle with. He’d try his best to insert a few breaks into the meeting which he could use to get her to eat and use the bathroom, and maybe later in the day he could even get her to nap for the last few hours of the meeting. 

“Dad, what are we doing today?” April questioned, drawing out the words out in a way that Ben knew meant that she knew exactly what was scheduled for that day, but was hopeful that she could convince Ben to change the plans.

“I’ve got that big meeting today, remember? Do you think you’ll be fine to keep yourself busy on your own?” 

Ben winced at the pout and frustrated whine from beside him. 

“Meetings are stupid and boring though. Why can’t you cancel it, aren’t you meant to be in charge?” her tone was as biting as a five year old could reasonably manage.

Ben got out of the car and opened the passenger door, crouching down face-to-face with April as she turned away from him, crossed her arms, and huffed- refusing to get out of the car. He sighed, trying to remain patient, yet keep the conversation short enough that they wouldn’t be any later than they already were.

“I am in charge, April, which is why I absolutely have to be in the meeting. I’m going to need you to behave really well for me today or else we might have to go to bed early and then you wouldn’t be able to call Mommy for a nighttime story.” He hated to use the threat of punishment like this, but he urgently needed to get her out of the car and into the building.

April didn’t respond further than another very grumpy pout, and Ben doubted he’d get anything else out of her. She still shifted back straight in her seat to let him reach over and unbuckle her seatbelt, so she obviously wasn’t irreconcilably mad at him, though she didn’t accept his outstretched hand to hold as they entered the building. Instead she swung her arms back and forth, eyes fixed resolutely on the ground as she trudged behind Ben and angrily muttered a mix of complaints about the meeting, complaints about Ben, and Scooby Doo theme song lyrics. 

…

Whilst the meeting wasn’t due to start for another 4 minutes, by the time the two of them got up to the office it was already empty- everyone else had already made their way to the conference room. But as Ben didn’t technically have to be there until 9:30, he was going to stay with April, making sure she was settled, until the last moment; he didn’t care if it made him seem like a cold and distant boss.

When Ben scanned the room to determine the best place to get April situated, he realised he was incorrect in his initial assessment that the room was empty. 

Sitting in one of the corners closest to the door was Jennifer. This was slightly strange, but Ben wouldn’t be surprised if she too was taking advantage of the remaining four minutes of freedom she had that day- she had always been incredibly efficient when it came to putting in the exact amount of time and effort needed to do a good job and get paid and not a second more. 

“Avoiding the inevitable too, Jenn?” Ben called as he made his way over to where Jenn sat, deciding it would be a good idea to put April close to the water fountain there in the hope that maybe it’d prompt her to stay hydrated. He could hear April’s shuffling steps following not too close behind him, though she had gone silent in the unexpected presence of another person.

Jenn fixed Ben with a glare halfway between judgemental and disdainful, not uncommon, but didn’t provide any other response.

“Jenn…?”

“Ugh I’m so annoyed. I told them that I’m supposed to be in the pointless meeting and they can’t kick me out  because I’m important then them, but no! I’m not apparently because I’m not ‘fit for work today’ which is so stupid! I literally don’t even care about the meeting either because it’s probably going to be mind-numbingly boring because everyone in there are actual idiots, and they all acted like I’m a baby and I’m not! I hate them so much!” 

Ben was slightly taken aback by Jenn’s outburst. April seemed equally as wary as Ben felt her move closer behind him peering round at Jenn, similar to how a much smaller child would hide behind an adult's legs. 

“Jenn,” Ben wasn’t completely sure of the best way to go about this, so decided to just ask plainly, “are you regressed at the moment?” 

“Ugh no. Ok yeah fine, I am, whatever but it’s not even a big deal, I’m not even a baby or anything. I’m basically an adult and I’m definitely way more responsible and reasonable and smarter right now than any of them have ever been.” 

Ben was stumped. Not only did he not realise Jenn regressed, but he also had extremely limited experience with teen regression. Before he could reply, Jenn noticed April and spoke first. 

“Is she regressed too?”

April stepped out from where she was hidden and nodded, though she did grab onto Ben’s hand- clearly slightly intimidated. Although Andy was almost always older than April was, April had never been around an older girl.

“Do you have to stay here all day as well?” April asked, confidence growing when Ben squeezed her hand. 

“Yep” she popped the p.

April’s eyes widened in excitement.

“Da, please please can I play with Jennifer today?” It seemed her previous upset with Ben was completely forgotten. Jenn was older and kinda mean which in April’s eyes made her really cool. 

Ben hesitated. Whilst he realistically couldn’t stop them hanging out together and wouldn’t want to stop April having fun, he knew Jenn could be intense and often quite loud, and Ben was somewhat worried that April might get overwhelmed and Jenn wouldn’t be able to help. 

The meeting was due to start in only a minute now, so Ben really couldn’t stay deliberating any longer. 

“Yes you can, so long as you behave and stay with Jenn and don’t leave.” April nodded excitedly.

“Jenn, I’m gonna show you my evil torture prison dungeon on Minecraft.”

Once April had run over to her desk to retrieve her stuff, Ben turned to Jenn.

“Look, Jenn, I really need to run off now but you have my number right? If anything happens or she needs me please let me know? I’ll let the others know I’m waiting on a doctor’s call. She’s never been without one of us before and I guess I just really worry about her, she might be a bit high-maintenance today.”

Jenn just rolled her eyes at him. “Please, you’re so lame, it’s not like I’m going to let her loose on the streets, we’ll be fine. I’ll let you know if there’s an emergency.” 

“Thank you so much Jenn. Have fun, April!” He called back as he all but sprinted away. 

Pushing her own chair out from behind it’s desk, Jenn pulled another round next to it, patting it to invite April over. 

“Come over here and show me your prison then, kid.”

… 

April had a ton of fun showing Jennifer the different rooms in her prison. The one where the pistons pushed the chickens into the lava pit made the older girl snort with laughter, and April was so excited about Jenn thinking it was cool that she even let her push a few chickens into the lava herself. 

Once Jenn had received a full tour of not just April’s prison but also her castle with all of her pets and the rocket that Andy had insisted on building, Jenn decided it was her turn to show April a game. April had never played a fashion dress-up game before but she quickly found that she absolutely loved picking the worst outfits and hairstyles possible, and then laughing at how stupid the models looked. The robotic announcement of the in-game judge- “te-rri-ble! Zero stars!”- in particular sent her into an uncontrollable fit of giggles, and had her repeating “te-rri-ble” and “Zero stars!” for the next twenty minutes with the same annunciation as the man in the game. 

A little later on, the two were sat on the ground playing dolls. Or more accurately, Jenn was passionately explaining the intricate web of drama between her dolls whilst April rocked back and forth with her head on her knees, listening enraptured to the story whilst she mouthed along with Jenn’s words as she had done earlier with the audiobook.

“And then, just after Eleanore found out that her dad was going to jail for breaking into the city records office to destroy her popstar best friend’s birth certificate and erase her from existence, she also found out that her boyfriend Jake had been lying about being her boyfriend and he was actually an undercover robber all along trying to steal her diamonds!” 

“Then what happened??” April was entirely invested.

“Then Eleanore called her other best friend- Cindy, the karate champion- and she fought Jake by-”

“by using her secret evil witch powers to turn him into a tiny beetle and trapping him in a jar until he says sorry and agrees to be her servant forever!” 

“Well actually first she karate kicked him in the head but sure then she trapped him as a beetle.”

“And then he lived in Eleanore’s dungeon forever and ever and had to bring her and her friends cake and presents and new pet sharks every single day!”

“Yeah, sure, kid!” Jenn agreed, slightly thrown off after having her well planned out storyline derailed by April, but not particularly upset about it. 

“Hey, wanna hear a secret?” Jenn leaned close to April conspiratorially.

“Yes, yes, tell me!” gasped April.

“Well, I’ve got a whole bag of chocolate in my desk from back when I was working in Pawnee. And I know your Dad would probably say no because he’s probably packed you a lunch with like fruit and stuff, but he isn’t here so he’d never find out… do you want some?” 

This was the most exciting thing that had happened to April since Andy visited DC, and she was too eager to even speak, instead nodding enthusiastically and clenching and unclenching her fists at her sides. 

Ben in fact did find out. Even if not for the empty wrappers conspicuously flowing over the top of the bin, the sight of April giggling and propelling herself round and round in the desk chair as her hands flapped were obvious signs that April was on a sugar high.

“Hey, guys, I’ve got thirty minutes off for lunch, but something tells me you’ve already had a feast.” Ben sighed but ultimately wasn’t angry with the pair. He knew today was probably difficult for both of them, so he was glad they were at least having some fun.

“What? No. We didn’t have any feasts, you’re lying.” April was an awful liar, and Jenn had to suppress the laughter that had started the moment she was sure Ben wasn’t about to get annoyed at her. 

“Oh you haven’t? Well then I’m sure there’s lots of room in your tummy for lunch?” Ben smirked.

April, unable to continue her lie, simply huffed and crossed her arms. After making sure had a drink and a bathroom break, Ben did convince her to eat at least half of her sandwich and some grapes. She sat on his lap to eat whilst Jenn sat beside them picking at her own lunch. 

Ben had to keep reminding April not to chew and talk at the same time as she immediately went into an explanation of everything the two of them had gotten up to that morning. However, by the end of the thirty minutes, April had fully crashed down from both the sugar high and the emotional high of the morning. Knowing one of the smaller rooms attached to the main office had a couch inside, Ben decided to try and get April to nap earlier than initially planned. 

In anticipation for the meeting, April had worn comfortable leggings and a long sleeved t-shirt so luckily Ben didn’t need to get her to change into something she’d actually sleep in. All he needed to do was fetch her blanket and whatever stuffie was currently in her bag- which ironically was Jenn, her monkey.

It didn’t take long at all for April to drift off, and Ben gave her a quick kiss on the forehead before he left to resume the meeting, but not before quickly stopping by Jennifer on his way out.

“The meeting should last roughly another four hours, she’ll probably stay down for at least half of that time, and once she wakes up, just to get her to stick a movie on her tablet or something.” 

Jenn nodded, attention split between Ben and the Monster High dress-up game she was playing. 

“Yep”

“Thank you again so much, Jenn, remember call me-”

“Yes, I will call you if there’s an emergency. You’re already late getting back.” Jenn snickered as Ben noticed the time, and like he had earlier, sprinted out.

…

Ben had been right in his estimate, and about two hours later, April stirred from her nap. 

She was immediately disoriented, taking a few seconds to remember where she was, and where Ben was. Upon recalling her morning, April had the distinct thought that whilst she loved hanging out with Jenn, she kind of just wanted her Dad and to go home now. She wasn’t going to cry about it. though. She knew that Da really couldn’t abandon the meeting and had asked her to behave whilst he was gone. Yes, she could be a big girl and play with Jenn again and behave and not cry, though all her earlier enthusiasm seemed to have left her. 

When Jenn heard shuffling footsteps from across the room she looked up to see April, hair frizzy on one side, and holding her orange monkey. The subdued expression that revealed the girl’s change in demeanour set Jenn on edge slightly, as she tried to decide how best to handle this. 

“Hey April” she winced as the girl startled at the sudden loudness of her voice, consciously softening her tone as she continued. “Wanna do some colouring?” 

After a beat, April nodded. Stopping by her own desk on the way first and retrieving a green chewy toy which she immediately put in her mouth, April hesitantly walked over to Jenn. The blanket trailing behind the girl made her look a bit like a snail, and the thought made her smile. 

April didn’t want to accidentally make a mess of the picture Jenn was colouring, so she decided to make a start on the other page. It was a picture of two girls sat together in a coffee shop. April thought this seemed boring, but the idea to give them purple skin and red eyes and make them drink neon yellow radioactive coffee did sound fun.

April wasn’t the biggest fan of colouring. She would get very frustrated when she went out of the lines, and would often abandon a picture altogether in response. She didn’t want to waste any of Jenn’s colouring pages though, so she picked up a light purple pencil and started very carefully filling in the picture.  

Ann once told her that colouring was a calming strategy to help deal with big loud emotions. April hadn’t understood that. It was too quiet and still- leaving nothing to combat the loud emotions she was trying to avoid, and some types of pens made bad squeaky noises on the paper, and combined with the aforementioned frustration of having to start a new picture every time one went wrong made colouring a surprisingly overwhelming activity for April. 

She tried to stop thinking about missing Da and focus on the picture but tears sprung to her eyes, blurring her vision. Not being able to properly see the page, April accidentally ended up colouring in some of the table purple by accident. But April had to carry on. She had to behave and making a fuss and leaving Jenn’s book with an unfinished picture because she was overreacting was not being well behaved. 

These swirling thoughts brought more tears to her eyes and thus, more mistakes on the page. A moment later, Jenn noticed the tears about to spill down April’s face and started to panic, unsure of what had caused this reaction. 

“Hey, April? Kid, are you ok?” In response, April only nodded, Jenn was cool, she couldn’t know April was being a big baby and crying about messing up a picture and missing her Dad. That was stupid and not cool.

Changing tactic, Jenn tried to steer the conversation to the picture April was colouring in, not expecting that this was in any way related to the problem. 

At the mention of the colouring, April choked out a gasping sob as her emotions boiled over. She threw the pencil down with force, a purple dot now stood out against the girl on the paper’s still-white eye, which made April cry harder. 

“Oh, uh, is it the colouring that’s upsetting you? What’s wrong with it?” 

[April was now pressing her nails into her arms in a way that Jenn thought had to be somewhat painful, though she refrained from intervening terrified of making it worse, unsure if April would want to be touched. April’s crying unnerved Jenn slightly- her choked, strained gasps and low whines sounding nothing like how Jenn’s little sister used to cry, and for a moment Jenn worried that the girl was having some sort of asthma attack, her sobs seeming more pained than emotional. ]

“Bad colouring. Terrible, terrible, terrible.” Jenn would’ve snickered at the reappearance of the earlier vocal stim if not for April’s failure to communicate otherwise indicating how distressed she truly was.

Jenn felt awful. April had been excited to hang out earlier and she had assured Ben that April would be fine and now she wasn’t and she didn’t even know what went wrong. She suddenly felt very out of her depth, despite being older than April, she was still regressed herself, after all, and she was not equipped to deal with the situation. 

Shakily reaching for her phone, she decided that this probably counted as an emergency. She glanced at April while the call connected, making sure she wasn’t at any physical risk, which she didn’t immediately seem to be, having thankfully removed her nails from her arms in favour of clutching the soft fur of her toy monkey. Ben, predictably, picked up barely a moment after it started ringing, and she heard a muffled “I really have to take this” over the top of some light murmuring, followed by an opening and closing door, and then just silence punctuated by Ben’s heavy breathing.

“Jennifer? Are you two ok? Is April ok?”

“I don’t know, Ben. I’m so sorry. She woke up and was all… quiet and we were colouring and she was crying I think? And when I asked her what was wrong, she started crying harder and I think… she seems really overwhelmed but I don’t know why.” Jenn rattled off in nearly one breath. 

“It’s ok, Jenn, is she safe?” Ben tried to keep the panic out of his voice as he ran to the office. Jenn nodded, before realising he couldn’t see her nod, and replied “yeah, I think so.”

Ben soon arrived and ran straight over to where April stood swaying as she skittishly shifted from one foot to the other. 

“Hey, Pril, shh. I’m here. Can you open your eyes for me, sweetheart?” 

April opened her eyes, and once she registered Ben stood in front of her, she all but collapsed into him. 

Catching her, he lowered them both down, swiped the blanket from where it was discarded a few feet away, and wrapped her up tightly in it. He gently rocked her back and forth, knowing the gentle, repetitive movement would help ground her. 

“Da, terrible!” she whined in between gasps.

“Shhh, I know, Pril. Just keep doing deep breaths for me.”

April nodded, dropping her head to lean against him so she could fully focus more on her breathing. Her Da was here now and the emotions in her head were getting quieter and quieter. 

Jenn wasn’t really sure how to help. She spotted the chewy toy discarded on the floor and picked it up, quickly running to wash it off. 

When she arrived back, she wasn’t entirely sure if either of the other two had noticed she’d left so she nervously cleared her throat.

“Uhm, I washed this off. For if April wanted it.” She held out the toy which Ben gratefully took, he gave it to April who immediately started chewing on it again, letting out a shaky but calm sigh.

“Thank you so much, Jenn.” Ben smiled at the older girl who clearly felt very lost in the situation. 

Then he tilted his head down to look at April. “I still have 30 minutes until I can leave, are you ok here until then, Pril?” 

“Go home straight after?” She asked.

“I promise we’ll go home as soon as the meeting’s over.”

“Will Jenn stay until then?” she asked with a slight hopeful tone. 

Ben looked up at Jenn who nodded assuredly, relief flashed across her face with the confirmation that April wasn’t upset at her.

“Yeah, she’ll stay with you.” 

Deciding the easiest thing to do was to pull up a movie for April to watch, Ben went about setting the tablet up.

“Do you want your headphones, Pril?”

“No. Jenn needs to hear too.” Both Ben and Jenn smiled at that.

Eventually, Ben left to finish the last half hour of the meeting and Jenn and April were left together, sitting side by side on the floor with April’s tablet in front of them. 

A couple of minutes in, Jenn noticed April twisting her fingers together and panicked once more thinking she was getting overwhelmed again. 

“April? Do you need me to get your Da again?” 

She wasn’t expecting the reply April gave- “Can I sit on your lap? Please?” she looked down, obviously nervous to ask, and Jenn sighed in relief.

“Yep” Jenn popped the p as she had earlier which made April smile. Jenn stretched her legs out and still holding her monkey, April moved to sit in the space. Jenn gently rewrapped the black blanket around the younger girl, making sure to include April’s monkey in the bundle. 

“Your monkey looks nice and cozy in there.” Commented Jenn.

April nodded in response. “She has your name.”

That was not what Jenn expected to hear. “Wait, does she really?” 

April nodded again. “Got her in DC and you’re from DC so she’s called Jenn.” 

It was so sweet that Jenn didn’t even feel it necessary to comment that she was actually from Chicago not DC. 

“Well, it is a spectacular name.” 

This time April’s nod wasn’t accompanied by any following comment so Jenn let the silence settle between them. 

From her position with April’s beck to her front, Jenn couldn’t exactly see April’s face. However, after five minutes with no sound or movement from the girl, Jenn was certain she’d fallen asleep, and made it her own mission to stay stock-still until Ben returned.

When he did, only ten minutes later, Jenn was barely awake herself. The soft lull of the movie and the weight of the younger girl in her lap relaxing her after the stress of the day. 

When Ben returned and saw the two girls so obviously exhausted, he had to refrain from taking a photo to remember it, knowing Jenn would likely try and find a way to sue him for it later. Whilst the scene was undoubtedly very sweet, Ben’s heart did pang with the realisation that April clearly hadn’t been getting enough sleep recently, explaining her sluggishness that morning, and almost definitely contributing to the day’s upset. He sighed, not wanting to disturb either of them, but equally wanting to honour his promise to April to take her home as soon as possible. 

“Girls?” he half-whispered. Jenn cracked her weary eyes open whilst April offered only a grumble.

“I know you’re super comfy there but it is time to go home now.” Hearing this, April slowly got up and moved over to Ben, immediately leaning all her weight against him- she was practically dead on her feet. 

Jenn also got up, noticing the colleague she was getting a lift home with entering the office.

“I gotta go too now.” She informed the others. “Bye April, play another time?” 

April looked up, nodded, and extracted herself from Ben’s arms to throw herself into a tight hug with Jenn. 

“Bye bye, Jenn. Thank you for playing and being cool.” 

“Any time, kid.” 

April was practically asleep again by the time Ben got her buckled into the car. With the promise of a future playdate from Jenn, and a quiet Da & Pril evening and a call to Leslie and Andy from Ben, April curled up in the passenger seat with monkey-Jenn in her arms, and finally felt calm.

[straycalamities]

how did you come up with making Entre? What inspired you?

the onceler LOL and homestuck

okay story time w chase ahem

so actually how i got into tumblr at all is very relevant to the chain of events that led to entre existing. so before here, i was mainly on a...particular art webbed site that was basically a sinking ship circa: 2010 so i forgot how i heard about tumblr? but i joined here at first just to do naruto comm rp. like my only account was a naruto rp account for the first... i dont remember how long

eventually i got curious enough to make a personal account and started being active on that. a bunch of my friendgroup from the other site moved with me and we were just hanging out being naruto nerds. at some point i got into homestuck/learned about the askblog format. i don't remember which came first, but i DID run kibanaru and flutterdash askblogs before the lorax was a blip on my radar

i remember when i was in the homestuck fandom, i was so used to the naruto fandom where like..sure it's huge but i had established myself in a corner of it and it felt very like... it was a community! and in the homestuck fandom i didn't feel like that at all. i felt swept out to sea and it was very lonely tbh aside from the friends id manage to drag with me into it, but i always felt a certain dissatisfaction from my time in it

a friend of mine was the one to show me the lorax and the once-ler. i don't...remember how THEY found him, but they were already very into him before they even came to me about him. and they basically nagged me into watching the movie LMFAO (this was when the movie was still freshly in theaters so all we had was shitty camrips and LiveStream was a thing) so i started to draw smexy onceler and oncest fanart to mess with them and...well y'know ye olde saying about doing things as a joke.

so yeah i kinda got...genuinely interested in him. especially after i watched the 72' short and reread the book and was like wait. this movie is mid as hell actually. (the siren song of mid media) and i was like "well if /i/ wrote the movie id do this n this n this n this" and then all that added up in my head and i was like wait.

what if i did a once-ler askblog where i just change certain things to what i like? it wasnt gonna be a complete revamp/remastering because i wanted to do a proper askblog so i wanted to have his character be recognizable to any fans of the onceler. and this was wayyyyy before anyone was getting the idea to do the very creative and expansive onceler takes we have these days as a norm. so it was kinda like? being shoehorned into being Canon!Once-ler because?? that's just how you did askblogs back then

BUT!! there were a few other askblogs already around back then (end of April 2012 for ref) so i didn't wanna do what everyone else was doing (very much Established Business Once-ler/Greed-ler, Vest-ler/Oncie, or Aftermath Once-ler) so i got the idea to do the onceler but! he's still very fresh and new to his business. still basically vest-ler/oncie in personality but with big things on the horizon.

i started creating his blog the weekend before may. that's why his birthday is May 1 because that's when i officially started his blog and posted his first post and all that. literally when he was born.

so yeah this was all to try and find my niche in a community again as well as do what i'd already been doing for years now: waving my headcanons in ppls faces via my art LMFAO

it was honestly pretty new for me in a bunch of ways so it was very scary. i even tried to keep it a total secret at first. i thought people wouldn't recognize me for my art style.... (yeah idk how i thought that'd work either) and i mean??? for the most part that was true because it's not like anyone in the once-ler fandom would've known me beforehand anyways

so for the first uhhh...idk it didn't last long tho..i was a secret mod, but i got too itchy about sharing art that i didn't wanna put on his blog so i broke that pretty quick. i had a lot of personal rules i put on myself on what to do/not to do on and with his blog. and i still, to this day, follow a handful of them. so when i drew other stuff that i didn't think fit on his blog, i was like well damn i wish i could show this somehow...

tho sometimes i wish i'd tried to keep up the secret mod shtick a little longer

anywho. from there it's kinda like..he really just grew on his own. new ideas, new inspiration, new experiences shaping this or that. now i can write him without touching him for years like i just picked him up yesterday. he's that wormed in my damn brain at this point. he's basically his own person sitting in my head telling me what to do with him/what he'd say

so yeah at first? it was just me trying to write a very accurate 2012 movie onceler with a few tweaks. and then he just grew organically into what he is now. that's still his root and so that's still the default direction i try to take, but he definitely has a lot of things that make him his own person at this point too. even on his main blog.

as for why he's so stupid goofy. well. that's because i like drawing dumb expressions. the end. and in the end i'm glad his main blog remained super unserious and lighthearted because it really helped me mentally a bunch (those random spikes in activity? yeah it was for my own mental health LMFAO he helps me...a lot...because of the escapism and comedy)

bonus: as for truffula flu entre. i don't remember if something in particular inspired me to make him the ender of the world. i just felt like it'd be a fitting story for the once-ler for him to be in that spot. and from there i just approached him how i thought someone like him would react were he to find himself in that position.

my goal was always to make him as human as possible. like he's technically the villain of this story, but he's also the protagonist. yaknow. so i wanted to really interweave those two ideas interestingly into his character (and now im obsessed w it)

originally i thought of truffula flu as everyone doing their own storylines. i didn't expect at all that everyone would adopt MINE as all of THEIR canons. that was LKFJSLDKF a big surprise for me i was like wait what. i guess it seems silly now in retrospect that i didn't expect that, but i was just like "well this is entre's story. ppl can do whatever else they want tho" but suddenly entre's story was everyone's story. and it's pretty cool i can't lie

[subwaytostardew]

Update: One year on the tracks!

It's been a year (and a week) since we first started working on this mod! April 25th is when I first started working on this project! Terrible timing since that's literally the day before my birthday and I'm too busy to make anniversary updates the day of. Thank you everyone following this mod despite how slow we chug along!

If you see the first ever post Thylak did over on his main - you will just see my little comments discovering his work and instantly being like

*Fast excited ADHD typing* I GOT IDEAS.

Rest is history....

We've been hard at work trying to get the mod complete enough for a (still unfinished...) release! It won't have everything we have planned (marriage events, Elesa events, platonic route, roommateable Cilan, etc.) because it would take forever otherwise (we keep getting ideas for additions...)

So many ideas. Sometimes we have to dial it back...... The amount of times events had to be cut down for concision... and we still struggle to keep them under 8 minutes...

1.6 broke a lot, so sorry for the delay in updates! (WHY CA WHY!) We've been having to do a lot of backtracking and behind-the-scenes work. (SO MUCH BACKTRACKING) Pretty much every event broke. I have to resprite all the portraits to match the vanilla-size because HD Portraits is still not updated. The schedules need fixing.

But despite all of that, the station bundles are done! We also redid the house exterior for submas because it was ugly. I did not know how to do pixel art a year ago. Nor did I know how to decorate maps. They have a whole new area off to the side of the Railroad now!

We hot potatoed that map so much. First Thylak would work on it. Then I did. Then back to him...

Still need to get around to adjusting their schedules to switch their coordinates to the new map when they're working on the Railroad. Previously, they were just pacing around in the various empty areas of the Railroad. Now they have trains.

The house itself was actually two different structures with a seperate clock tower but then we decided it looked better overlapping the bit of roof peeking out. It's much less flat now.

Submas have a mailbox that adheres to Stardew's perspective.

No longer is the house a cardboard cut out with shading and lighting. LOL (I didn't know how to sprite buildings!!! I put all my effort into Emmet's walk cycle!)

Also speaking of mail boxes... since it been a year; I'm sure all ya'll are curious to how we do our modding, story, etc. We encourage you to hit the mail car button and ask away (so many of you already have) But since it's been a year. Go Crazy.

But I will nip the common asks tho.

Some Common Asks.

"Is this mod SVE (Stardew Valley Expanded) Compatible?"

No.... Unfortunately due to the complexity of both mods. (Ours due to railroad being used. And SVE already expanding on a bunch of stuff) It will just be compatible with vanilla and any mods that does not replace or edit the railroad (majorly).

We did move submas's house over to the side so it won't overlap the farm it adds or impede any space that you want to use the Railroad's empty spots of land for, but it's still very much a "play at your own risk" type of thing. I'm not familiar enough with SVE to code compatibility for it (not familiar at all actually... I don't play the game enough! All my time is spent working on the mod! All I do is stare at google docs and type walls of text! I'm not interested in SVE anyways for personal reasons.)

SVE is infamous in the modding scene since it changes pretty much every map and steps on other mods with incompatibility. I don't want to deal with making two seperate events with the coordinates/movements edited for compatibility. It should be compatible with most other expansion mods like Ridgeside Village or East Scarp since they mostly keep to their seperate areas and not edit things unless necessary (like submas do now)! SVE changes too much to gurantee compatibility and for the sake of my sanity I won't provide it. If it works, great. If it doesn't, pick and choose for that save.

So.. SVE and our mod. Incompatible....

"Release Date?"

Unfortunately it is still undetermined! (Due to our busy schedules.)

(For example - I myself work 2 jobs and currently going through a lot of chaotic life stressors.....)

However, we will make a progress post soon about how much left on our list where we are satisfied with moving onto the next stage of our mod which is.

There's actually not much new content planned until we're ready for initial release, we mostly have a lot of behind the scenes cleanup and backtracking. I still have portraits to do (I took a break... switched off to mapping). Event-wise I want Emmet's 10 heart event to be done and a few station/side events we have in the drafts. We'll need more festival dialogue (since... they don't show up unless if I have stuff for year two for some reason). After that, we get into more fun stuff! Patches!

PATCHES! Oh we love a good mod patch! And we have a lot planned. Meaning there's still more ahead on the tracks!

"Are they romancable?"

Yes. Yes they are. HOWEVER! WE DO SEE YOU AROACE COMMUNITY! And we will be making a route that will be planned in the next comming phase to make them platonic relations as well!

It's the first stop on our intinerary! We'll release the platonic route alongside the marriage event update so there's something for everyone.

We are just following vanilla format at the moment as it is easier coding wise. And also a good place to start planning where the branches are going to happen. Making roomates is a bit more complex... I have to make a custom item for "proposal" much like the void pendant.

I think that covers the common asks... OH!

Also! Since we have released the Joltik Adoption aspect as a separate mod as well as a little fun tease (And test run) - before we actually drop Subway to Stardew. So sorry the event didn't work at first! I was testing on the main expansion mod. Should be fixed now!

We recommended that if you find any JOLTIKS. Scurrying around. Causing trouble. (Aka Bugs.) Please send in an ask! Or head over to Nexus to drop a bug report! It will help iron out some things that we may not be aware about before release!

And when we do release we HIGHLY encourage the bug reports cause it's just two of us... <_< and those Joltiks get into everything! (Doesn't help that THYLAK KEEPS THROWING THEM EVERYWHERE! I find them in my paperwork... and Atwood's bedding.... My poor Phantump. He can't catch a wink without a Joltik scurrying all over the place!)

It's just me doing all the coding (All. Of. It.) so I hope you all can continue to be patient while I work on things! Sorry if I miss some things! We probably won't playtest too extensively before the initial release, so please do report any bugs you find then!

▷ Station Steward Thylak

[becauseimanicequeen]

I've been busy painting lately and haven't had the time to write much about the stuff I've watched or answer the asks that have appeared in my inbox. So I thought I would gather some of it in one post. Let's go!

Why am I Watching QLs at 30+?

Let's get the shit out of the way first because I have better things to do than to focus on ridiculous shit (unless it's a show that entertains the fuck out of me by being ridiculous). But, since this is an opportunity for me to (hopefully) broaden the perspective of this particular Anon, I will take it now that I have some spare time.

To give some context: This ask dropped into my inbox during the Olympics (when I was busy having fun watching gymnasts be superhuman and swimmers in their 30s winning gold medals rather than answering asks), where an Anon asked me why I, a grown-ass 30+-year-old person, participated in the BL space and said it was embarrassing, blah blah blah.

Short answer: I didn't know people stopped being queer at 30...

Longer answer: I've intuitively known I'm queer since I was a teenager. It's just that I had to focus on surviving my teens and twenties (mostly due to grief that kept piling on) rather than exploring who I was.

I didn't find the opportunity, time, and space to go inward until the pandemic when my depression released some of its hold on me (I know that sounds weird given the global situation at the time, but that was my personal experience during 2020-2022). Then, when I found the Asian QL world about 14 months ago, I started to understand myself even more. I've learned more about myself in 14 months than the two decades before that.

The core of what I'm saying here is that not everyone realizes they're queer in their teens. And no matter what age someone is, we all deserve to see stories we can relate to. The QLs I've seen have given me so much, even the bad ones (and especially the very bad ones, lmao). I'm sure there are others out there with the same experience.

BLs/GLs/QLs don't have an upper age limit. Got it? Great. Moving on...

What Happened to My Color Posts?

Another Anon sent me an ask about my color posts a week ago, asking me why I wasn't writing them anymore and if I'll be writing more of them again.

The honest answer is that I'm busy using color (painting) rather than writing about them.

I'm currently working on a project with some other artist friends and paint around 8-10 hours/day 5-6 days/week (at least at the moment). The project won't be done until sometime during April next year, and I'm loving it here.

Will I write about color again? Sure. If I get the time and feel like it. But, at the moment, I don't have anything I feel like writing about and I would rather just throw color (paint) on canvases instead.

What I'm Currently Watching

Another Anon asked me what I was currently watching since my tumblr seemed to only be filled with 4 Minutes (which clearly showed my obsession with that show, lol), and which of those shows was my current favorite (excluding 4 Minutes).

I'm basically watching these shows, minus the ones that have ended (4 Minutes, Happy of the End, I Hear the Sunspots, The On1y One, Seoul Blues, and The Trainee), and plus Bad Guy My Boss (Thailand), Jack & Joker (Thailand) and Love is a Poison (Japan).

On paper, I should devour Jack & Joker, crumbs and all. Also on paper, Bad Guy My Boss and Live in Love should only be an entertaining escape for me to turn off my brain.

I guess I'm in some weird kind of mood at the moment because it's the complete opposite. Jack & Joker is an entertaining escape, but I'm so deep into Bad Guy My Boss and Live in Love that Sunday has become my favorite day of the week (because I get both of them on Sundays).

I'm sure I'll get more into J&J when I get more Zorzo, though. I'm just surprised about my own chill reaction to it.

Anyway...

Other than those shows, I have to mention First Note of Love (Taiwan) which is amazing. I've got Charles Tu on my screen every week (which makes me suuuuper happy), Michael Chang is amazing, James and Liu Min Ting are amazing, Kaia Lee and Amanda Liu are even more amazing, and Mos and Bank have made cameos as themselves in two episodes. And I haven't even mentioned how great the music and the story is! (Btw, I've listened to the theme song about 100 times already.)

Then there's obviously I Saw You In My Dream (Thailand) and Monster Next Door (Thailand) as well. I would write posts upon posts about these if I had the time (which I don't).

Let me just say that I'm so happy I jumped into I Saw You In My Dream even though I started watching it for a ridiculous reason. The chemistry between the four boys is amazing as well. I definitely get the sense that these characters have known each other and been friends for years, and I love how that could develop into something more for them.

And Monster Next Door is making me love an introvert and an extrovert so much at the same time that the previous episode personally attacked me from several directions.

(Btw, I intentionally told myself to not go to this show's page on MDL because this world built for extroverts is waaay too harsh on the judgments of introverted characters. You won't find that bullshit here, though, I promise.)

As an 80%+ introvert (which I've been every time I've retaken the test in the past decade or so) who can pass off as an extrovert since I'm often around a lot of people (more often than I would like because it drains my energy), I love Diew soooo much. He's such a down-to-earth boy who knows his boundaries (a lot better than I do anyway, lol), and, yet, he agrees to go and play basketball with God and his friends because he wants to spend more time with his boyfriend. It's too bad that Dr. Asshole got to God first, though.

(Dr. Asshole should just focus on healing animals rather than interacting with humans, tbh, but, I digress...)

I just hope God realizes the story he's made up in his head about Diew and Dr. Asshole is just that, a story he's made up in his head. Their communication has been great so far and I'm sure they will solve it soon enough. That doesn't mean seeing God so sad and seeing how badly Diew was treated in the past (by his then-boyfriend, Dr. Asshole) hurt any less, though.

Anyway, that's all I have for now.

*signing off to throw paint at a new canvas because I can't wait until tomorrow...*

[corpsephage]

There's been a recent spate of AI-produced Studio Ghibli mock-ups, so I figured I'd make one of my own. According to my sources (hearsay on Twitter) the studio's head honcho himself thinks of AI as "an insult to life itself". Well, take this, life! How'd you like that? Not so high and mighty now! I've already gotten AI to draw you as the Soyjak and me as the Chad! Now why don't you pick up a pencil and sit on it?!

Alright, I'm gonna get serious here - happy April Fools' Day, by the way - I can't pretend to be fond of this whole AI craze. Now look; I'm not completely innocent when it comes to AI. A few years ago, I was actually working on an AI-based video for YouTube, but I pulled the plug on it when I started hearing how voice actors were worried that AI would put them out of work - and this was back in the early days, when you could easily tell something was AI.

I think it's a real shame websites like DeviantArt seem to be prioritizing this AI stuff over the integrity of artists. It's like "artists" are no longer needed around here, which is definitely the way I've seen a lot of people take this. It's like your creative work is just a "product" to be "consumed", not an "entertainment" to be "enjoyed".

With this in mind, I've built my own AI chatbot (in my head) to try and explain what my problems are with AI drawing. If you have any pro-AI arguments of your own in mind, let me hear them. I sure would like to be wrong about this:

“What have you got against AI art?”

It’s taking people’s jobs. That’s really it. If it wasn’t taking people’s jobs, I’d have no problem with it.

“It isn’t going to take artists’ jobs! There’s always going to be a demand for them.”

Alas, I wish that were so. But given the choice between paying thirty dollars minimum for an artist to take weeks drawing one picture, and a robot that will cook up hundreds of images in the hour, all for free, it’s really a no-brainer. The big corporations are going to be gung-ho for AI because, while it’s bad for the creative’s business, it’s good for their business.

“Well, then, you should probably just get a real job and just do art as a free hobby.”

People are going to try and get jobs doing what they love - and more importantly, what they're good at. If someone spends all their time creating, what other job are they going to have? If it's a job their heart's just not into, they're going to half-ass it and likely be fired anyway.

“Now wait just a dadgum second. I’ve seen your YouTube account. You’ve got all that computer-made music on there. None of those are real instruments! Couldn’t you hire actual musicians?”

All those virtual instruments are made by real musicians who willingly put up those samples on the market. Look, if an artist or voice actor willingly submits their art or voice to an AI generator for others to remix, I wouldn’t have so much of a problem. But the big websites don't wait to ask permission.

“You used a computer to make this art right here! You used things like smoothing tools and the undo button instead of an eraser! Why’s it OK for you to use tools to make your drawing easier, but others can’t?!”

I would’ve hoped AI tools would be there to help make the drawing process easier, but I didn’t want it to replace the drawing process itself. It’s like, if you’re struggling with walking, you might get yourself a wheelchair to make moving around easier – AI is like building a robot to go out there and do all the moving around for you. Sure, it’s convenient, but… wouldn’t you rather have some fresh air?

"But AI democratizes creativity! It's no longer just for the chosen, talented few. With AI, everyone can be an artist!"

I think with imagination, everyone can already be an artist. Take it from someone who knows - if there is a "chosen, talented few", I am certainly not part of them. It's not like I'm following some kind of special calling. In fact, I think I'm below-average when compared to most people doing this... so I don't know what anyone else's excuse is.

"Look... you want the truth? I can't draw, alright? And I'm... jealous of all the artists. They're all so cool being able to bring their imagination to life. I wish I was that creative."

Can I let you in on something? Pseudo-artist to pseudo-artist. If I'm anything like the other guys on here... none of us can draw. Let me show you how I made this picture you see here:

Tell me, does that first sketch look like good art to you? And yet this whole picture is nothing more than me tracing over that crappy picture several times, straightening out the lines as I go. The whole thing couldn't have taken any more than three hours. My point is, the "art" that I make doesn't take any talent, and it barely takes skill. It's really nothing more than just knowing how the magic trick is done. The biggest lie I was ever told was that drawing isn't fun.

So, no, I don't need any AI to make my art, thanks. I'm quite capable of being a talentless hack without it.

(By the way, the weird Photoshopped face comes from that all-AI ad Coca-Cola did last year. See, I credit my sources, unlike the AI scrapers.)

[virivren]

ok so i've been going down a huge rabbit hole after finding like 90 gifs of the same horse uploaded to Tenor all called "TomasCore" and have followed them back to here. the gifs all make me so happy and giggly in a way that i can't put into words; i just love the little horse guy so much. i swear on it i think i'll literally feel more complete as a person knowing what TomasCore even is, where the image of the horse comes from, what the tumblr link at the bottom of the horse image is, and how you're connected to it. can you explain some of it for me?

This makes me really fuzzy to hear <3

Firstly, TomasCore is primarily my friend's project, though it is connected to the Saddle Pass (the horse gifs, https://goldm.neocities.org/), the two projects arose separately around the same time both from the same inside joke (the original sad horse gif, made by Tumblr user whose blog no longer exists, which is where the watermark is from).

TomasCore came first by about a month, it originally arose from him fucking around in FL Studio (he has zero music background) and it sounded really funny so we encouraged him to make more which led into his joke album series. Eventually I started contributing because it was really fun, just to like, release your inhibitions and make awful music because it's funny and you get to experiment a lot with weird sounds. TomasCore also has TomasLore (vague story) attached to the series, mostly told through the album covers and a couple individual tracks, as it went on it became more intentional and me and him worked together to create a parody of ARG-like surrealist abstract content where it feels like it has some deeper meaning (but it's all ridiculous goofy shit anyway and the deeper meaning is just as stupid as the surface meaning). TomasCore Vol 10 Deluxe is almost entirely telling a story and the culmination of the story from the previous albums which were mostly just told through their album covers.

For the Saddle Pass: Originally I made like "sad horse if he was happy" and "sad horse if it snowed instead" as stupid jokes, arising from the revelation that the sad horse gif had only 4 frames so it was really easy to edit. And eventually they became more and more esoteric and it became a joke in and of itself. The website itself was created during my web design course, I made it as a joke with the skills I had learned as a parody of 2003-esque maximalist unreadable type websites (see https://www.webdesignmuseum.org/exhibitions/bad-and-ugly-websites for reference, I looked at these and copied what they did.) I want to create a sitemap that is "labyrinthine" but I don't think I am there yet. All while trying to maintain the bizarre alien horse aesthetic that I think is really funny

Now I am known as the horse girl to all of my friends and they give me ideas for horses (funnily enough, I seem to have worked myself into a position where when people suggest ideas I can almost always just send them one that already exists which is basically what they requested. It's very funny) I got a horse-themed terrarium as a Christmas gift this year. I don't even have a horse or anything, this all started in April of last year, lol. It's been a really fun chapter of my life and it has impacted me a lot more than I expected, I like showing people my horses and it just like, enamours them, it makes it easier to meet new people and I have a lot of fun working on it as a project. I can just spend like, an hour making a horse every week or so. The pace has slowed down a lot since July as I have been busy with uni, and then I was busy with other projects, and now I feel less inspiration than before since a lot of my current ideas feel harder to animate especially to the level of quality I now expect of myself, but it's fun and I wouldn't have it any other way, hehe

[fountainpenguin]

Early March fanfic update, with a "prettier" post to come later this month.

Spoiler for length (660 words):

- No MCYT update this Tuesday, but the next Dog's Life chapter (Stormy Eyes) posts on the 11th, followed by 3 "Chalaza" chapters. The Dog chapter "Scatter by Sunset" should be up April 8th (or the week after).

- Those 3 are my "Chalaza" buffer thus far; I'm hoping to use this time to complete the rest of "Chalaza," as well as the next Dog's Life chapters (I split the next one I'm working on in half because... way too much Bdubs; he could be a chapter in himself).

After these two chapters I'm struggling with, I need to do light polish on the last two Dog's Life chapters of this intermission arc, and then we're done! It definitely went on longer than I'd planned, but I like it! 1 year of intermission before we're done... Monthly updates, you'll be the death of my patience, but oh are you needed sometimes... One of the delays was the risk of conversation overlap between multiple fics, but I'm glad I got "Dreadful Burden" done so I could get answers there. Turns out there was definitely some things I needed to pull out of the Dog's Life convo because they definitely came up in the separate fic, so... Progress!

- I might post something on April 1st (Tuesday; MCYT update) - Ex: A fic I started a long time ago but was shy to post). Could be a good day for it (if I can finish it).

- I'm using March to focus on "Chalaza" and "Dog" right now, but once those are both wrapped up, I'm switching to Frayed Knots. Glad to give my brain a break, but looking forward to getting back!

- Getting close to wrapping up "So, You're Studying the Cloudlands" (as it stands now). Need to take the time to check my notes and see if I overlooked any lore posts.

- No Fairy New Year plans for now (beyond obligatory year name post). I have a New Year's multi-chapter about Anti-Cosmo's mom that I've wanted to post for years, but the draft is super rough. I might post it later this year, not around New Years, because it would be fun to get done.

I think I put too much pressure on myself feeling like I needed to post every day in accordance with the week of festivals, but there's nothing wrong with dragging it out and posting for 7 or 8 weeks instead, so that might be nice (and help me find a length that's comfy for me instead of trying to make it "bite-size" for daily festival posting).

- Continuing to post my old Total Drama works on Thursdays until the end of July, when we reach the last one. It's been a busy year!

- This is a scheduled post. I'm hearing news about my life situation today (job & whether or not I'll be moving several months earlier than planned... Some recent exciting news changed to bad news this weekend and I'm trying to rearrange plans to make things work, so I'm stressed and busy).

Fic updates may be less frequent, but hey, this is what the buffer comes in clutch for... I'm still going to try to save "Dreadful Burden" for later this year, though, because I want it to cover for me when I KNOW I'm unavailable and don't want to get distracted with thoughts of writing.

- Expect less art (from me). I did get some things done that I wanted to (Couple of fic announcements + those "washi tape" header images), but I wasn't expecting to move early (if I'm moving at all), so that will cut a few plans short.

Ex: I was planning to do a bunch of bios & profile arts for the FOP sideblog... That's going to drop to low priority and I'm not sure when I'll have access to my art stuff again.

That's all for now. I'll make a polished post later this month (divided by fandom & more specific than this), which will be linked in my pinned post afterwards.

[icouldntfindquiet]

Putting together the timeline

**This is a reminder that I’m theorizing. Please don’t take it as fact.**

I don’t know how Joy and I got into this conversation but she told me they plan R&L over a year in advance. I was shocked by that because that would mean Van would’ve negotiated with R&L around August 2023 which was when they were primarily silent.

I found this article from 2011 which supports what Joy said. They talked with the booker for R&L and this is what he had to say:

16 months in advance of August 2024 puts us at April 2023. I thought that was insane but then started thinking about Sardy’s posts…

@theeleventhhour had the brilliant thought that Sardy was hinting at CATB headlining R&L with this post which was posted 26th May and later deleted. I’m guessing he deleted it because he didn’t want to spoil the news which would eventually be announced November 2023.

The 16 months in advance is making sense. 😁 He also posted this on 26th May using the hashtag #bestalbumever. I believe the album was complete (or mostly complete) by then.

Now I see this post as Van’s got money having just sold his voice for a long weekend! 🤣

Based on when Sardy first used the CATB hashtag, Van and Sardy were probably working on the album from 2022-2023. I’m guessing Showtime was one of the last songs to be written around May 2023.

The article said scouting for bands is a combination of agents/bands approaching them and them approaching agents/bands. Due to the uncertainty of the band’s future at the time, I’m pretty sure it was Van and Sardy approaching R&L. Headlining R&L is honestly an epic comeback announcement and it was well played as that was a massive surprise for fans. And then I’m pretty sure they’ve been busy since hiring management and booking agents, and figuring out their album rollout.

I guess what I’m saying is that silence doesn’t mean they’re doing nothing. Van’s been grafting away this entire time, that bastard. 🙂 (I won’t forget how much suffering he put us through. 😆)

[boxfullaturtles]

Tell me about down with the sickness!

It was something I was working on for "Tales from the Med Bay" before I got my Bad Things Happen Bingo card. Very sickfic, very soft hurt/comfort, very family fluff and brotherly love. I still plan on continuing it, but it's taken a bit of a backseat at the moment. There's six little chapters planned, one for each turtle and then two bonus chapters, with each chapter focusing on one of the boys getting sick.

I've only got one chapter mostly written right now, and that's Mikey's. So here's a little snippet of that:

The thing about being the youngest of four was that Michelangelo had a huge advantage over his brothers.

He could get away with murder.

Mikey knew he was absolutely spoiled by his family and if he cranked up the baby brother energy, he could twist them around his finger (all of them except April, he could never pull one over on April, she was far too sharp for that). He was careful with this ultimate power and used it sparingly, lest his family catch on to his devious acts.

Still, when Raphael commented that Mikey “wasn’t lookin’ too hot” and felt his forehead and started saying something about Mikey staying in that night, Mikey turned on the charm.

“But Raaaaapppphhhh,” He whined in his saddest voice, giving his eldest brother the biggest, most soulful eyes, “I don’t wanna stay behind! I want to hang out with all my cool big brothers! You guys have been so busy! I just wanna spend time together!”

Worked like magic.

Raph folded completely under Mikey’s big sad eyes, relented, and let Mikey join them on a patrol around the surface. Mikey made sure to give him an extra big hug as a thank you. And hours later, he was bouncing across the rooftops with his family.