#i stand by both of these theories ive made up

[soupblr]

Displacement

Denial

Projection

Rationalization x x

Regression

[pencileraser1]

things i noticed/thoughts about most recent rewatches of dps (plus laserdisk deleted scenes):

whenever theres a group scene i've started watching the characters that the story isn't focusing on to see what they do and i've been having a fun time with that. pitts and cameron specifically seem to almost always be doing something interesting in the background.

hopkins!!!! my favorite minor character who somehow got character development despite having like 2 lines!!!! the last guy to stand on the desk but he did it!!!

sometimes i do like to think about what the rest of the students thought about the dead poets society, esp in alternate timeline neil lives dps keeps meeting universe. like yeah theres this guy in their class whose one of the most credited students in the school and we think he maybe started a cult. idk though. but that group runs out into the woods every few days to do god knows what and one of them keeps talking about "dead poets honor" whatever that means and holy shit welton star student neil perry started a cult.

i watched the movie with headphones. and maybe it's because ive seen this movie Far too many times and mabe i'm listening too hard but it was Really obvious sometimes when audio was added in post production. llke in the sweaty toothed madman scene when you can hear laughing and to be fair the camera is behind their heads. but it does Not look like anyone's laughing. my favorite is at the end of the phone call to chris scene where knox is like i'm gonna seize the day!! and runs up the stairs and the poets are cheering him on and neil is sort of yelling "carpe!!!!" and i could be wrong but i'm like 75% certain that the person singing is Also rsl so now neil is just speaking two times at once somehow. anyways it didn't ruin the experience for me or anything it was maybe just a little bit funny to notice but very sorry if this did ruin anyone's viewing.

people talk a lot about how rsl and ethan hawke really made their characters what they are but i have to add dylan kussman to that list. I get the impression that older versions of the movie didn't really give as much depth to cameron and watching dylan kussmans performance is like. he Knew who his character was so fucking well and it shows!! like the deleted scene of them getting clubs assigned. like i could tell So Much about cameron from that scene

for how little she actually appeared, there is an emphasis put on the fact that neil's mom smokes pretty frequently. and i think that's interesting considering neil is one of two poets shown actively smoking. neil's mom doesn't appear for very long in the movie but during that time it definitely seems like the movie is intentionally making parallels between the two, particularly in the last argument with neil's father. neil and his mother are both sitting for almost the whole time, which contrasts with his father who is standing. they are both almost powerless in this scene. they stand up at almost the same time. anyways there's a couple different possibilities for what this could mean? that i've though of? 1. to show that neil's mother is in a similar situation to the one neil is in in regards to neil's father and 2. maybe a stretch here but the theory that neil inherited his mental illness at least partially from his mother. i'm pretty sure 1 was fully intentional on the directors part, not entirely sure about 2 though

unmanned flying desket scene: it's probably cause he and ethan wrote the scene themselves but the way rsl talks in this scene feels more like the way he talks in general than the rest of the script. like briefly neil perry is talking in rsl's voice. one of my absolute favorite scenes though the sarcastic dialogue is so good.

the light of knowledge at the first shot of the film vs. todd standing on his desk at the last shot of the film paralel

[justalildumpling]

chapter 26: my soulmate

wc: 0.6k

If Jeno was going to be completely honest, he had no fucking clue what he was doing — partially due to acting upon his fight or flight response when you had mentioned the whole girlfriend ordeal. 

It wasn’t like he had never thought about making the two of you official (who was he kidding, he thought about it almost every day). But as a certified simp and part-time samoyed puppy, he wanted everything to be perfect, and if perfect meant standing on an empty beach digging up a pretty pathway and scattering rose petals for the past three hours, he would do it.

It had been around half an hour since he had texted you to come to this very specific beach — which he spent every minute anxiously fiddling with the bouquet of roses in one hand and fixing his wind-swept locks in the other. However, when he spotted your car pull up next to the boardwalk, he realised that he was not prepared for this moment, especially seeing the way your eyes sparkled as you met his gaze.

There was a little cute skip in your step as you hurriedly down the steps and to his position on the beach, your white cocktail dress dancing in the wind and the corners of your lips gradually rising as you got closer. 

Jeno could almost see the wedding arches and bells in the background, almost dropping the bouquet on the sandy surface as his hands instinctively reached out to hold you in some way.

“Jeno, what’s with all this?” You squealed, receiving the roses from his shaky grasp.

It was tranquil in that moment for the boy, with the girl of his dreams inhabiting the most beautiful smile and sharing the sweetest gaze with his little self, like all anxieties had washed away with his eyes crinkling into crescent moons and the words of “Will you accept to be my soulmate Y/N?” tumbling out of his lips without a second thought.

Your mouth parted for a split second, eyes hammering with a sense of shock and delight before a soft look adorned your face, “You finally accepted the soulmate request huh?” 

Jeno rolled his eyes, “Who says we can’t be both twin flames and soulmates?” 

You smiled, placing the bouquet on the sand before enclosing your arms around his neck, “Maybe we can test that theory,” you leaned closer into his ear, whispering the next few words, “I heard that if you kiss me and the world doesn’t blow up, we were made for each other.” 

Jeno could only chuckle, shaking his head, “You’re always full of surprises aren't you?” 

“Well, clearly you liked the suspense so now we’re here aren't we?” 

You scrunched your nose in glee, your giggles tickling his lips before he closed the gap. It almost felt like a scene out of a movie, with the waves crashing into the sand not too far into the distance and the rose petals once scattered neatly onto the path circling their figures from the wind and most importantly you, the way your laughs sounded so melodic in his ears, your perfect smile glistening in the golden sunlight and how he could finally call you his. 

Jeno didn’t vibe with chaos and unpredictability. But weirdly enough, the suspense and wrecking ball of events you had brought into his boring old life he found himself compelled to. And for the first time, he found himself agreeing with Chenle and his weird beliefs of the universe because a part of him began thinking that he had indeed found his soulmate, his other half, his twin flame.

masterlist || previous | next 

pairing: jeno x fem! reader

synopsis: chenle was convinced that his two introverted friends were destined for each other, so what does he do? bribe them to text each other of course ⎯ or alternatively, when jeno started to fall for an anonymous mutual friend of chenle's

genre: social media au, strangers to lovers, college au, FLUFF, crack

warnings: swearing

note: sorry for the delayed and short updateKAEBFOWWGBW ive been sick for the past week and been stuck in the worst writers block ever😭 but GUYSSSS the finale's next week can u believe it????

taglist: open! feel free to send an ask or comment to be added :))) ~ @babyjenono @btssf9nct @baekksore @411star @jenyoonoh @igotkpoops @calumsmut @hs825 @liliansun @raikea10 @loveleejn @luv4jeno @rosabella1009 @ismileeprnc-responder @jenoists @222brainrot @sexygrass @culterycollector @kikookii @minkyuncutie @mrsyixingunicorn10 @tytrackfebreze @sehunniepot @choi-beomgyulvr @jaeminnanaaa17 @multifandomania06 @aerislovjeno @spilled-coffee-cup @artstaeh @tddyhyck @jeongintwt @aerivrs

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[zeronetxt]

IT'S TIIIIIIIIIME!!!

...For me to do my lil randomly occuring hc yap sesh! today we have

Headcanons/Theories I came up with in the shower (BSD)

has anyone ever noticed how the characters trauma is linked to their ability in some way? or yt heir person, idk how to explain, but i'll use a few examples

either its their ability, or another work by their irl author counterparts

tachihara's ability, midwinter memento

midwinter, the coldest (theoretically) time of the year

emptiness can also feel cold

'memento' meaning souvenir, or a reminder

both of which could be about his brother

whom he has a similar ability to

this 'souvenir' could be a trait (their ability) or his brother's dog tag

when his brother died, tachihara became empty, and you can't compete with a dead person

So he tried being different to his brother to avoid comparison

fukuchi's ability mirror lion

'lion' representing a leader. a commander with bravery and honour

however a mirror is only made of 'glass' (and metal, but also, who cares?)

the reflection shown is but a sorry illusion that you can't change

no matter how hard you distort the picture, it's still your tainted hands

chuuya being the tainted sorrow in his irl counterpart's poem (havent read it yet though, so its taken from the title)

chuuya, no matter how often he tries, will always be a second choice

'tainted sorrow' for distraught. in despair to the point which you can't stand

numbness to pain you forgot existed

chuuya's ability is like a letter to the self

he IS the tainted sorrow

he IS the second choice

(btw, i have not yet read stormbringer and i havent been able to read the manga yet, so this is what i have gathered from the anime, WHICH I HAVE REWATCHED FOUR COMPLETE TIMES, DO NOT PLAY WITH ME ON THIS, I WILL FUCJING PROVIDE EVIDENCE.)

but this is my observations with the people he is shown to be "closest" with in the pm

ie dazai kouyou aku and mori

not including sb character (obvi)

dont spoil me either im alr so sicj of getting dpoilef its sad

tangent; no one sees my vision when i say that skk want to 'kill each other' just not in the way youd expect like beast!chuuya (manga at least) says he wants dazai to die by his hands (and from what i've heard frin the ln goes cuckoo snd seeks to destroy the agency)

yet again i have bit read any lns, im too poor

ANYWAY the others have "diff priorities" ygwim??

dazai has oda/atsushi ygwim?

but he does think of chuu bet

kouyou kyouka

mori dazai

aku jinko

but hes loyal snd i loev him

idk i just yap ive forgotten this thought ngl

jouno and his priceless tears man

i would explain more on this but the only tears there are were the tears that fell from my eyes.

might do a pt 2 of this idc lol

might get cancelled for my opinion and view of bsd too but idc its fiction i can analyse it how i want its nit the bible

[jqmalikhsgib]

astrology

seven

aaron made it his mission to keep their weekend free. he wasn’t gonna let anything get in the way of his date with you. he even went as far as putting his cellphones on do not disturb. it’s something he hasn’t done since haley gave birth to jack.

you were also really excited. you went shopping for a new dress and maybe even spoiled yourself with a matching pair of shoes.

ever since aaron asked you out he’d been extra touchy. he’d make up some excuse to have you close or to simply hold your hand. you both agreed not to be too close when jacks around. you wanted the first date to go well before telling jack anything.

your date was tomorrow night. currently you’re on the phone with spencer. he’s been going on and on about a new docu-series he’s been watching. he gives his theories on who he thought the unsub was.

you simply laugh. he rarely watched tv. when he did it was some show or movie about a killer or serial killers he didn’t know anything about. he liked to see if he can guess who the killer is before they revealed it.

it’s why you never watched any documentaries with him. he’d always ruin it for you.

“why do you watch the show if you already know who the killer is with the little information you have. i bet it didn’t even take you fifteen minutes.”

“i just enjoy it, yn.”

“you’re literally a cop—”

“agent. actually a doctor.”

“right. my bad doctor spencer reid. what have you been up to besides that? read any good books lately?”

“actually yeah! i recommend slaughterhouse five.” spencer goes to tell you the details about book. meanwhile aaron comes into view. you smile at him as he wraps his arms around you. he sways you both back and forward.” you giggle. spencer thinks you’re laughing at what he’s saying and joins along.

aaron kisses the back of your neck gently. you try to shoo him away before he turns around. he turns you around and kissed you passionately.

every time he kisses you it feels like your breath is being taken away.

“so, what do you think? gonna give it a read?”

normally you never ignore spencer. but aaron make you feel all fuzzy. he truly made you feel like a dumb school girl.

“yeah, spence. could i call you back? im in the middle of making lunch for me and jack.”

“alright. love you.”

“love you too, bye.” you ended the call.

“aren’t you suppose to be at work?” you whisper.

“yeah. i have to head back. just wanted to see you on my lunch break. im so excited for tomorrow night.”

“speaking of. what did you tell jack?”

“i didn’t tell him much. just that his aunt jess was gonna take him to the zoo with his cousins. he’s excited.”

“yeah?”

“mhm. he’ll be gone the whole weekend.”

you blushed. having the whole weekend to yourself with aaron. you squeezed your legs together just from the thoughts. it’s been a while since you’ve had sex. you’re not the type to have one night stands. you have to have some connection with the person you’re sleeping with.

you know you have one with aaron. you’re just nervous you won’t be any good. you’ve only had about three partners in your life. aaron was a bit older than the guys you’ve dated in the past—not saying much, really. you’ve dated men at least ten years older than you by the time you hit your twenties—you didn’t wanna mess anything up.

aaron noticed the gears in your head spinning. he caresses your cheek gently. “honey, what’s going on? tell me?”

“im not very—experienced.”

aaron eyebrows furrowed. “what do you mean?”

“aaron. ive only been with so many people. i just—i don’t wanna mess anything up. i don’t wanna be bad.”

aaron smiles at you. “oh, honey. trust me when i say, whatever we do, you’ll be perfect because you’re you. you’re perfect, beautiful, caring, amazing, smart. you’re everything that ive ever wanted in a while. you’ll do just fine because i lov—”

aaron stops himself before he finished. he takes a deep breath before giving your lips a small peck. “because i love you.”

you’ve never smiled so big. you kissed him passionately. aaron was much taller than you are. he had to lean down just to kiss you. you stood on the tip of your toes and run your hands through his hair.

aaron groans in your mouth. when you finally pull apart you look him dead in the eyes. “i love you too, aar. more than you know.”

aaron smiles. “i should get back to work. ill see you tonight, okay?”

you hum.

“love you.”

“love you too. be safe, okay?”

aaron nods before heading out. you get back to making a sandwich for jack. throwing away the bread that was left out too long.

when jack gets home you make sure he gets his homework out. you hand him his sandwich and a little bag of chips.

“do you want apple juice or fruit punch?”

jack thinks before pointing to the fruit punch. “good choice!” you smile. you pour him a small cup before ruffling his head.

you sit beside him with your own sandwich. jack looks at his math homework with a frown. you look down. you grab the paper and hum.

it was an easy math question for you. but for an eight year old it’s a little bit difficult. you talk him through the problem. when he got the answer you smiled.

“see! you’re a genius.”

“just like uncle spence?”

“just like uncle spence.”

jack continues to finish his homework. once he was done with his sandwich you put both of your plates in the sink. you wash the dishes. once finished you hear your phone ring. frowning when you see your mom calling.

you haven’t heard from her in a while. the last conversation you had with your mom didn’t end well. she had yelled at you when you told her you’re moving to virginia. she didn’t understand why you wouldn’t move back home. when you explained that you wanted to be closer to spencer she simply asked why. she yelled and said that he’s not your family.

that angered you. you told her that spencer was the only person that was there for you when you decided to take your art seriously.

you ended the call when she called your art a ‘silly little hobby that wasn’t good enough to be displayed for the world to see.’

that hurt you more than anything she’s ever said to you. your father tried to apologize on her behalf. he was a bit more level headed and forgiving than your mother. he still thought you needed to go to college. gain some degree and have a decent career. but he still allowed you to enjoy this journey you’re on.

you declined the call.

“im finished with my homework, yn. may i go play in the yard?”

“yes. just be careful, okay? and no sneaking off.”

“i won’t. will you be coming out too?”

“in just a second. i promise.” he nods his head as he heads outside. your phone rings once more. this time it’s your father calling. you knew he’d just pass the phone to your mom.

you declined the call once more. you walked outside and smile at jack. he was kicking his soccer ball back and forward. when he made a goal you clapped.

“go jack!”

jack smiles. your phone rings once more. you groan before finally answering.

“yes?”

“you haven’t called me in a while. i was worried about you.”

“im fine mom.”

“how’s virginia?”

“it’s great.”

“did you find a place?”

“i have.”

“where are you staying? please tell me it’s a nice neighborhood at least?!”

“it’s nice. what is it you need mom?”

their was silence over the phone. you were already over the conversation. you didn’t have time for another lecture. your mother wasn’t gonna ruin your good mood. you’re way too happy to have her tear that apart.

“i just—i miss you, baby. im sorry i hurt you, okay? i think your art is beautiful. i just—i wished you had a back up plan. you’re so smart, baby. i just don’t want you to look back ten years from now and regret not going to college sooner.”

“i won’t mom. i love what i do. i have sold my art for good money plenty of time and i still do now. i just wished you believed in me as much of others do.”

“i do. im sorry.”

“it’s okay. how’s dad?”

“he’s a workaholic. been busy on this big bus! i tell him he’s too old and need to relax. he doesn’t listen.”

“you know how he is. other than that is he doing well. health wise?”

“great bill of health. whatever you do baby, don’t fall in love with law enforcement.”

your heart skipped at beat at that. you wanted to tell her it was too late. you’d already fell for an fbi agent.

but you also didn’t need her meddling anymore into your life. you knew once she found out you’re seeing someone she’s gonna wanna know absolutely everything about him. and knowing your mom, she wouldn’t approve of aaron.

not only because he’s older, but because he’s a single dad who has an risky job. riskier than your father. she’d immediately tell you that you’re making a mistake. you didn’t need her input! you loved aaron. you also loved the sweet adorable little boy who was now running towards you.

“listen mom, im at work. i should get back. ill call you soon. love you. bye.” you ended the phone call before she could get another word out. your focus now back on jack.

“you thirsty, buddy?”

jack cuddles up to you and gently nods his head. “alright! let’s head inside.”

aaron arrived home a few hours later. jack had already fallen asleep. he was too excited for tomorrow. he knew his aunt was picking him up in the morning.

he kept telling you how much he wanted to see the tigers and the giraffes. you kept smiling at how adorable he looked.

“hi, honey! did i miss bed time?” aaron lies next to you on the couch. you’d been enjoying some down time. watching the docu-series spencer discussed with you earlier that day.

“yeah. he tired himself out. played a little bit of soccer in the backyard.”

aaron rest his head on your lap. you run your fingers through his hair. “how was work?” you asked.

“a lot of consulting on cases and a whole lot more paperwork.” he explained. he frowns when he sees what you’re watching. “you shouldn’t watch this, yn.”

he sees things like this on a daily. he wanted to steer it away from you and jack as much as possible. you didn’t need to see the horrors of the world. you’re too precious for that.

you simply giggle. aaron knowing you grew up around crime scenes since the moment you were born. not only because your father was a detective, but your mom was a prosecutor. you’ve seen it firsthand.

you can go back to the photos your father brought home. seeing the crime scenes.

“it’s alright aaron. ive seen far worse! once my dad brought home a case of a serial killer in our area. id peak at the scene photos when he wasn’t looking. very disturbing.”

aaron frown deepens. “how old were you?”

“maybe twelve? i don’t remember much. just knew this case affected him the most. i think it’s cause the man killed a little girl. she was a bit younger than i was.” you shake your head at the thought.

“im sorry you had to see that. your eyes are made to see beauty. not slaughter.”

your heart almost burst. you kiss him gently.

“excited for tomorrow?” you whispered.

“definitely! are you?”

“a bit nervous. but im super excited! where are you taking me?”

aaron smirks. “i should get to bed. gotta get up early tomorrow to run a few errands.”

aaron gets up and heads upstairs.

“aaron?!”

“goodnight, honey. sweet dreams.”

[lilyofthesword-writes]

What Should Be - Epilogue (Batman)

Summary: You have a loving family, a cozy home, a great job - What more could a person ask for? But what do you do when an injured man dressed as a bat shows up in your home in the middle of the night?

Pairing: Batman x Reader (Platonic or Romantic)

Word Count: 844

Warnings/Disclaimers: Blood, injuries

Counterpart: Alchemy (Please read first)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Masterlist

Oracle had, of course, managed to locate the Batmobile days earlier. She had Red Robin meet you all there. After depositing you and Batman, Nightwing, and Red Hood stayed behind to further secure the two Djinn for the GCPD. Mere minutes into the drive, you had passed out.

You had no idea how much time had passed when you finally woke up. Blinking away the grogginess, you found yourself in a large cave that was surprisingly warm. Or maybe you were just warm enough to not notice the draft that typically came with cave systems. It was also surprisingly well lit. Although you were unable to see the bats whose squeaks echoed somewhere nearby. 

Where is— No… This can’t be, right?

Sitting up, every ache and pain the came with laying in bed for too long hit you like a bag of bricks. The blanket that had been covering you fell to your lap. And there was the draft you had expected. Shivers wracked your body.

If this really is the Bat Cave, how does that man not get sick from being here.

Then again, you had stayed in worse locations during your hunting excursions years ago. You managed to stay healthy. Relatively. Wounds notwithstanding.

Heavy, hurried footsteps sounded through the cave. Despite your theory, you weren’t taking any chances. You swung your legs and tried to stand, only to be caught by the IV drip you hadn’t felt mere moments before. Cursing to yourself, you pulled at the medical tape holding the needle in place.

“Don’t.”

You stopped. Theory confirmed. You turned, looking behind you as much as your sore muscles would allow. Batman may as well have sprinted towards you. He replaced the tape, calloused fingers smoothing out the material with the utmost care. He— He wasn’t wearing his gloves. Or his utility belt. Or his cape. Just his barebones suit, boots, and cowl.

There was nothing you could bring yourself to say as he rounded the bed, pulled your legs back on it, and coaxed you to lay down. It wasn’t until the head hit the pillow that you finally spoke.

“I… Umm… Thanks… This is comfier than the gurney.” Your voice held a raspy, disused quality.

Batman nodded and stared. It was almost like he didn’t know what to say. Almost.

“Hey, are you…” you started. “Are you… okay?”

“I should be asking you that,” he replied without missing a beat. 

You shrugged playfully. “Says the one who needed rescuing.”

He pursed his lips, forcing himself not to play into your banter. You wished he would have. It was better than the silence that hung heavy in the air, weighing down on you both, the uncomfortable stare, and the curiosity that got the better of him.

“Are you?”

“Y—Yeah…” You sighed and broke eye contact. “Just… Dreamt of what could have been.”

Batman nodded somberly, understanding. “Who were they?”

Were they just part of the dream?

“My partner… Jesse… They were real. We got together when I tried to retire from hunting before…” Your throat threatened to clamp down on your esophagus. “Before Benton.”

“And the boy?”

You sat up, bringing your knees to your chest. “Torrence was the boy we were going to adopt. After Jesse… I couldn’t finish the adoption process. It wouldn’t have been fair to Torrence…”

More silence.

You wanted to ask. It was only fair right? 

Batman shifted on his feet before decidedly sitting on the bed. His head tilted, his gaze on the floor. “I saw my family… What would— What could have happened if they had lived. If my father had fought against the mugger and won.”

Oh… Oh.

“And what made you leave all of that?” you half whispered. What tipped you off that it wasn’t real?

He thought for a moment. “It felt… like a gilded cage. I had my parents and no one else... Then, there was you.”

Uncurling yourself, you raised your head. “Me?”

“Yes.” He lifted his gaze to meet yours. “There was a gala at the university for the Archeology Department. You were there to accept the donations.”

“Wh—”

“You were the head of the department.”

“Oh…”

He nodded. “That was when everything came together.”

You both sat there, swallowed by phantom echoes. Where did you go from here? You knew too much about each other. You knew Batman’s identity. Parents being mugged and killed in Gotham was nothing outlandish. Most of the city forgot these even within weeks. But his… Bruce Wayne’s story had been, and still was, publicized by the media. His public identity was dependent on his family’s tragedy. Batman with all his tech, his motivations — They all made sense now.

“I won’t tell anyone,” you breathed.

“I know.”

There was no malice, no threat behind his words. He believed you. He trusted you. 

He wasn’t ready to remove the cowl in front of you, and that was okay. This wouldn’t be the last time you saw each other or worked on a case. A door had opened to let the daylight in.

[yamayuandadu]

I'm assuming we basically don't have any art of Gazbaba and Kanisurra, so based on textual evidence, what would be the most authentic way to depict them in art?

Yeah, there are no known depictions of either of them. Due to their relatively minor position we also have no hints like kudurru symbols or astral association to go by (the latter obviously aren’t always indicative of a deity’s iconography, though). Therefore, everything under the cut is, out of necessity, an educated guess at the absolute best.

In theory, one could base their depiction on the famous reference to both of them as “hairdressers of Nanaya”, which lines up with a name of their shrine in Babylon, Eḫilisigga, “house of beautiful adornment”, with ḫili apparently referring to coiffure in this context (Andrew R. George, Four Temple Rituals from Babylon, p. 295). Probably the best way to indicate that would be to depict them with combs or other paraphernalia of that sort. However, Paul-Alain Beaulieu explicitly labels the characterization of the pair as hairdressers as “late theology” (The Pantheon of Uruk in the Neo-Babylonian Period, p. 318). As far as I am aware there’s no strong indication that their character had some intimate connection with hairdressing at any earlier point in time, even though beautician deities do occur here and there (ex. Ninkarnunna in Ninurta’s court). And there’s no shortage of earlier sources associating them with Nanaya - in fact, in love incantations they almost never appear without her (Gioele Zisa, The Loss of Male Sexual Desire in Ancient Mesopotamia. Nīš Libbi Therapies, p. 141; note Kanisurra being invoked with Ishara in a formula on p. 271 though) - so I’m not sure if it would be viable to attribute this to preservation bias. In Gazbaba’s case I’d say we have three different possible additional sources to draw from:

a) the incantation series Šurpu addresses Gazbaba as “the smiling one” (ṣayyaḫatu). I would argue we can effectively treat her expression as an attribute based on that - it is agreed the aforementioned title designates her as a deity linked to sexuality (her very name might be derived from kuzbu, which means something along the lines of “sex appeal”, so i’), since Akkadian love poetry emphasizes smiling quite often (he Loss…, p. 141). Given the fairly stoic expressions of most surviving statues, I think a wide smile would stand out as a unique characteristic.

b) it is possible that Gazbaba’s name was either cross contaminated with Nanaya’s or intentionally modified to resemble it, since the variant Kazbaya is also attested (Jeremiah Peterson, God lists from Old Babylonian Nippur in the University Museum, Philadelphia, p. 71-72). It might very well be just a hypocoristic, to be fair, but given the close association between the two this proposal seems plausible to me. On this basis, I would argue assuming she was also depicted similarly to Nanaya isn’t out of the realm of possibility. Granted, the pre-Seleucid depictions of Nanaya aren’t exactly distinct iconographically, so I’m not really sure if this helps much.

c) the third hint is VERY conjectural, and also only came to my attention so recently I didn’t include it in her wiki article yet: in An = Anum, she occurs on tablet IV, but in a somewhat puzzling position, between a list of steppe-related figures and Ishara’s and Manzat’s mini-sections (Wilfred G. Lambert, Ryan D. Winters, An = Anum and Related Lists, p. 22). It’s an open question if she was listed in Nanaya’s section too, since the latter is poorly preserved; we can only be certain that it encompassed Muati, Kanisurra and Bizilla in addition to Nanaya herself (An = Anum…, p. 177). Why Gazbaba would be separate from her peers is uncertain to me - unless some hitherto unknown characteristic made listing her next to nondescript steppe-related entities or Ishara more sensible to the compilers (granted, there might be no reason, and you could also easily question why is Manzat listed after Ishara and not with other astral deities - my personal guess is that due to both being worshiped on the eastern frontier but this is speculative). I’m not sure if this could translate into any tangible iconography, either - though Ishara does have tons of distinct symbols attested, and the steppe association could lend itself to something like Amurru’s stereotypically “western” iconography, I suppose.

As for Kanisurra: a) the association with love and eroticism, while attested, is not equally strong in her case as in that of Gazbaba (The Loss…, p. 142) - so I don’t think transferring what we know about the latter to her would work. Perhaps building upon the one off Ishara connection - so scorpion motifs of some sort - could work? But I’m not entirely sure if that’s warranted. b) her recurring epithet is “lady of the witches” (bēlet kaššāpāti); there is at least one incantation where the sole difference between copies is that some refer to Kanisurra by name and some simply invoke the bēlet kaššāpāti (The Loss…, p. 430). Per analogy with other more or less positively regarded figures invoked to prevent unwanted interference from beings regarded negatively, one is tempted to ask if perhaps Kanisurra was imagined as a witch par excellence, like how Pazuzu was both the scourge of the lil demons and himself a demonic winged figure, while Ninkilim, the lord of small animals invoked to protect crops from his “subjects”, was seemingly a deified mongoose. Daniel Schwemer appears to more or less go into that direction and notes that “imagery of singing witch-girls that descend from heaven and a young, enchanting and, at the same time, dangerous goddess as lady of the witches illustrates that the stereotype of the kaššāptu has little in common with that of the old hag in European folklore” (Mesopotamia in Guide to the Study of Ancient Magic, p. 52).  

If this assumption can be transferred from text to visual arts, perhaps it would be sensible for Kanisurra to be depicted with objects associated with witchcraft; these included just about anything that could be used to bind a person (Mesopotamia, p. 44); figurines or drawings representing people meant to be affected by a curse (ibidem, p. 44-45); water prepared as if it was for funerary offerings for rituals involving the symbolic killing of a person (ibidem, p. 46-47); miscellaneous “sorcererous devices” (upīšū/upšāšû) sent as omens (ibidem, p. 47-48; Schwemer cites an example involving a dead mouse - it required a mouse burial to break the curse). Slander was also associated with casting curses (ibidem, p. 48-49) but I don’t really think there’s an easy way to represent that visually. c) based on the possible derivation of her name from the mythical toponym Ganzer, ie. the entrance of the underworld, and some less certain evidence (presence in mourning rites for Shu-Sin might have more to do with the ceremony taking place in Uruk than with character of any deity involved) it is presumed that Kanissura was an underworld deity (The Pantheon…, p. 316-317).

Frans Wiggermann argues that members of this category were particularly commonly depicted wearing a type of flat cap in place of the usual more conical or cylindrical horned crowns (Nergal B. Archäologisch, p. 224). However, I’m not entirely sure if this is a consensus view; and I’m pretty sure there’s a fair share of depictions of Nanshe where her crown/cap is flat-ish. Still, it’s a pretty distinct article of clothing.

It would perhaps also be tempting to ask if the attendant deities accompany Nanaya in Sogdian art are a distant echo of Gazbaba and Kanisurra - one of the murals from Panjikent shows her with two smaller figures who are “nimbate, with shoulders aflame, carry spears and at least one of them wears armor” (Michael Shenkar, Intangible Spirits and Graven Images: The Iconography of Deities in the Pre-Islamic Iranian World, p. 123; line drawing on p. 307).

The relief from the funerary couch from the Miho Museum also shows Nanaya in the company of two female attendants, though they are not armed, let alone armored. However, while it does appear plausible that Gazbaba and Kanisurra were still worshiped with Nanaya at least in Borsippa and Babylon in the second half of the first millennium BCE (Four Temple…, p. 295-296; note also Usur-amassu with Kanisurra on p. 296), I am not aware of any evidence that they were transferred eastwards alongside her, so I’d be cautious.

[ihopesocomic]

I think what a lot of people who have issues with you (aside from the youtube lion show stans) is that you dont baby people

People ask for obvious spoilers and you just say "we'll see!" (Unless its been asked several times in which case you explain that)

People try to push for bigotry to be in your comic which you wont stand for

People refuse to actually read the comic and want it explained and you have to put your foot down and tell them to read the comic

Ect ect ect ive never seen you guys get unreasonable with any messages, angry? Short? Sure some of the anons you get are like "why is hope have 3 legs?" Its completely understandable to be angry at messages like that

Yea that's pretty much the vibe we get too tbh. But we're not gonna apologize for having standards and we're not going to change how we present ourselves if it means putting in extra mental energy to be overly polite to bad faith actors or people who just simply ignore what we put out unless its addressing them personally.

You mentioning the spoilers incident is interesting because the person who brought that up would later state that spoilers weren't their issue at all, just us being "condescending" because they made the personal choice to read our neutral responses as such. Or us using 'lol' whenever we indicate we're being light hearted. Because not everybody who uses 'lol' is being snarky or rude.

Ultimately, being given the benefit of the doubt would go a long way instead of people automatically assuming we're being nasty or "unprofessional" because of things like 'they criticized something I enjoy" or "Well, I didn't like that they weren't bowled over by an ask I sent two years ago' or just anything that happened years ago LOL

Anyway. Some people may be fine with spoiling the whole story of their project, but not us. We're having a lot of fun keeping people guessing, especially if they guess correctly and their theory is proven in a future chapter. We do big high fives when that happens lol

The people who outright demand inclusion of bigotry are especially confusing because at best its people thinking our one little comic that's not-that-popular-actually constitutes as erasure of the queer/disabled struggle. And at worst it's people who somehow can't find value in entertainment unless it's misery porn. And both of these instances they claim the existence of IHS in its current form takes away from the countless already-existing content that covers both, or somehow shames people for including it in their own story when we've never said such a thing. Anything we've said either applies to us personally or we're criticizing mainstream media that takes our experiences and makes them palatable to a mainstream audience. (At it's funniest it's nerd fans who criticize our comic for being a knock-off of MP while in the same breath complain that it's not doing the same thing as MP)

And an insincere sorry in advance to people who want us to spoon-feed them information in the comic. I was under the impression that when you saw a web comic, you had intentions on reading it. Heck, we have a dub now, you don't even have to read anymore technically. But I value my time too much to explain every single detail that may go missed in a chapter. Some stuff we feel confident in our readers piecing together on their own because we respect their intelligence, and most times there's no incorrect conclusion to arrive to because leaving some things up to interpretation is better than over explaining it. But maybe I'm just a meanie. - Cat

[yanderespamton78]

spamton and addison headcanon post ^^

i saw one of my moots do this and i have many headcanons for mine so i thought id also post mine :D

(small sidenote a lot of these i stole borrowed from other creators and fics and stuff so i will highlight the unoriginal ones and put a key at the bottom)

addisons are 3d models so they can do stuff like glitch out and clip into walls n whatnot (but it only really happens when somethings wrong which is why spamtons is so much worse)

spamton can pop his jaw and limps in and out of place like a doll (also bjd body if that wasnt obvious)

spamton is eerily good at piano - he learnt it during his big shot era

addison hands are kinda like mitts which they can split into fingers if needed. also they can split into claws for self defence if one is in danger

spamtons ad speech and glitchiness get worse when hes stressed :c

spamton pretty much always speaks super energetically, like minecraft youtuber style

spamtons skin is made of plastic but normal addison skin is not. this also means spamton doesnt have the same thing where his hands arent mitt like which he can split into fingers theyre just always hand

addisons are luminescent but spamton isnt bc puppet

spamton (and jevil) can both speak wingdings

spamtons always had the pipis but they havent always looked like pipis. they used to look like a little red notification dot and the number on the dot would show how much damage it would do

all addisons just have black eyes (sometimes theyre lines and sometimes not depends if i can be arsed to draw proper eyes lol) but spamtons are a bright blue from the shadow crystal incident. if you look closely enough you can see a sun and clouds

also he doesnt have very good vision and without his glasses his eyes will feel like theyre burning

i believe in puppetification theory more than acid theory but i think that the acid is still harmful to addisons. if it comes in contact with their skin it can cause rashes/burning (like a bad sunburn) and if they swallow it it can make them ill or glitchy. if they swallow too much than it can cause irreversible code corruption, which is the main reason why spamton is so glitchy (but mike still caused a lot of the speech thing, its just the physical glitching caused by the acid)

spamton is super agile and sneaky like a cat (i mean no one found him for years in cyber city which isnt a massive place so it makes sense)

can mimic voices really well but in the bracketed speech. basically he can record voices

key vvv

red - taken from System Rebooting : Please Stand By (fic by manofthepipis on a03 GO READ IT ITS SO GOOD)

blue - taken from Defragmentation (comic by Zarla-s on tumblr, comicfury and devart and prolly a few others GO READ IT KAJHFKAH)

pink - idk ive seen so many people do it that I cant credit it to one specific person

anything uncoloured is smth i made up myself B)

[spagheddiesquash]

hi hello!! im not the greatest with theories, BUUUUT……

figured id throw my hat into the ring!!! basically for the past two days ive been mapping out a little… i honestly dont even know the term for it. ive called it a “theory web kind of thing, of sorts” for monkey wrench!! (however i feel as though that may not be the correct term to use, i dunno, it just doesnt sound right)

it is very big and convoluted, and also difficult to read in the screenshot of the full thing because of how massive it is, so i figured id walk you guys through it maybe?? FAIR WARNINGS: THIS POST WILL PROBABLY CONTAIN MONKEY WRENCH SPOILERS AND IT WILL MOST DEFINITELY BE RIDICULOUSLY LONG. THIS IS THE ONLY WARNING. CAPISCE? ALRIGHTY LETS GET INTO IT.

WAIT ACTUALLY ONE MORE THING:

some of this kinda piggybacks off of theories and stuff that ive seen from other users of this site, most notably @toastraccoon and @awwkie-dot-jar (sorry for the @’s, wanted to give credit and figured that would be the best way to do so since the @’s redirect to the respective blogs). both of them were actually what inspired me to put this together in the first place!!! go check their blogs out theyre amazing btw

the rest of the post is below the cut!!

anyway, without further ado:

for simplicity i have dubbed it “monkey spaghetti” because if you look at it from a glance it looks like a nice, hot bowl of unconventionally-colored pasta noodles, i think.

first and foremost, in order to understand my bullshit i made a helpful handy-dandy little key, pictured below.

i had to move the key so that’s why the square is out of place. i simply directed to its proper location on the key with an arrow :^)

anyway, i’ll start with walking you guys through the bigger blob first, that being this one:

so first of all:

(i dont think you can really see if very well so i will say it here, the screenshotted post of the giant statue of the primaries in the second image is from awwkie-dot-jar)

*yeah, in hindsight i feel like i exaggerated a fair amount, but the point still stands regardless. i tacked on the “like, at ALL” just because i didn’t wanna completely state the obvious. i should go back and edit it i think.

and:

as well as:

AND:

NOTE: my screenshots loop back to things i have previously shown for continuity reasons!!! so you dont get confused trying to read the whole web all chopped up like this :^D

additionally:

!!!THIS IS NOT ALL OF IT, TUMBLR IMAGE LIMIT IS 30 PER POST SO I WILL HAVE TO REBLOG WITH THE REST!!!

before i do that, i will reiterate:

i do NOT know what im doing

im not sure whether i have everything correct

because i have never done this before

i mean i hope i have everything right but like

yeah

take everything with a grain of salt

considering i have kind of poor memory sometimes

and also how many spitball ideas i put into this shit

TO BE CONTINUED FOR NOW

[maximura]

Ad Astra: The Theory Of Relativity | An Interstellar Ateez story: Part I | Part II| Part III | Park IV| Part V| Part VI| Part VII | Part VIII (Words 7000, Gen, Warnings: swearing) You can now also read it all on A03

“I think we got it.” Yunho says, standing up to stretch his back. There’s a definite dull ache in his lower spine from time spent hunching over Mr Lee’s tractor engine. 

“Do the checklist.”

Wooyoung wipes his hands on his jeans and picks up an oil stained notebook, ready to tick off their accomplishments. “Okay, remove the sludge from the engine block, sleeves, crankshaft and camshaft?”

“Yup.”

“Re-install the cleaned sleeves back into the block. Then replace all the oiled bearings before dropping the crankshaft back in.”

Yunho goes through each step in his head, nodding again. “Yup.”

“Replace all the caps, thread in the rope and change the tappets if they’re worn out.”

“I didn’t need to change them today, write that down to tell Mr. Lee later because it’ll change the cost of the job.”

Wooyoung nods and makes a note. “Okay, next step is to put the camshaft back and lock it in with the gears before re-installing the pistons.”

“Yup, done.”

On and on it went, until fifty steps later, the engine is safely back in Mr Lee’s tractor and the two-page checklist is completely marked off. Both brothers stand staring at the old farm machine in wonderment, like it was a Frankenstein monster that they’ve raised from the dead.

“Woah.” Wooyoung says, in hushed disbelief. “You did it.”

“Did I miss any steps this time?”

Flipping back through the notebook’s list, Wooyoung shakes his head. “Nope, you got it all.”

“Woah.” Yunho echoes, the faint smile on his face growing bigger by the second.

“Should we see if it’ll start? I know Hongjoong said not to do it until he gets here but well, he’s not here and Mr. Lee is out on his field, he won’t notice if we try it out now.”

Yunho chews on his bottom lip for a moment before nodding. “Okay but if it starts smoking like hell, we tell Hongjoong that Mr. Lee insisted we try it out and if the old man denies it, we’ll say his hearing aids must be playing up.”

“Totally.” Wooyoung agrees easily, handing the keys over to his older brother.

Yunho gingerly climbs onto the old red tractor and turns the key. There’s a few seconds of spluttering before the engine growls into life, shaky at first, then loud and steady after. Yunho cuts the engine before it alerts the old farmer. 

It works. 

“Holy shit.” He says with a wide grin, jumping back down to land beside Wooyoung. “I did it?”

“Well, yes but I made the checklist so I’d say its fifty-fifty.”

Yunho shoots his brother a tired look. 

“Sixty-forty?” Wooyoung negotiates. “No? Seventy-thirty?”

Yunho rolls his eyes but he’s not annoyed. Far from it. He’s ecstatic with the job today. He’s never fixed an entire tractor engine by himself before because Hongjoong was always hovering beside him to correct his technique or remind him of steps he’s missed. Apart from babysitting Wooyoung, it’s hard to remember a time when anyone trusted him to do something so important by himself. 

Another sudden rush of endorphins hits him in that moment and he sweeps the little menace into a tight hug, easily lifting him off the ground. 

“Hey! Put me down!” Wooyoung protests, squirming uselessly against Yunho’s strong embrace. “You’re excited, I get it! Sheesh.”

Wooyoung doesn’t even really like farming and doesn’t naturally gravitate to it in the way his brothers do. He was born with a fascination of machines, though preferred building things on a much smaller scale; like robots, circuits and repairing household electronics. But never wanting to be left out of any family activity, he had come along to most of the farming repair jobs with his battered notebook and meticulously jotted down everything Hongjoong had said, in the order he said it, word-for-word, like he was documenting a new scripture from God. 

It had proven unexpectedly helpful, even if Yunho doubted it at first. 

They make a good team. And deep down, if he’s being honest with himself, Yunho always knew they would.

“Do you think Hongjoong will split the pay check with us?”

Yunho shrugs now. “If he doesn’t, you have my permission to complain until he does.”

“Awesome.” Wooyoung grins wickedly.

*

Hongjoong doesn’t split the paycheck. 

He gives them the entire thing, followed by several proud thumps on the back. Yunho gets another job fixing Mr. Lee’s ride-on lawnmower next weekend and Wooyoung tries to calculate how many robot parts he can buy with his twenty percent earnings.

Neither of them pay much attention when Hongjoong is driving them home and telling them they have guests waiting back at the farm. 

Wooyoung stops dreaming about new electronic motherboards as the words catch up to him. 

“Guests? What kind of guests?” He asks.

Hongjoong looks over briefly before turning back to the road. “People from my work. You don’t have to hang out with them if you don’t feel like it. I can tell them you’re both sick if you want.”

Yunho is still on a high from his job success and being eighty percent richer, so he shakes his head easily. “It’s fine by me, as long as they’re not stuck up jerks.”

“They’re not like that.” Hongjoong reassures him before looking at Wooyoung. “What do you think, kiddo? You want to be social or sick?”

“When you say “work” do you mean like other farmers or like from NASA?”

“From NASA.”

“Oh!” Wooyoung’s eyes widen in surprise. “Yeah, that’s okay then.”

“Farmers are cool too.” Yunho mutters under this breath. “I don’t see NASA feeding the entire human population with their rockets and computers.”

Wooyoung ignores him and leans forward in his seat as their farm comes into view. “Can I show them my robot?”

“Oh My God.” Yunho groans. “Embarrass yourself in your own time, Einstein. Don’t bring down the entire family in front of Hongjoong’s work friends.”

“As if you’re not the embarrassing one!” Wooyoung bites back, reaching across to pinch his brother on the arm. “You’re covered in grease and your hair looks stupid.”

“My hair looks stupid? Have you even seen a mirror lately? Your face is stupid.” Yunho cackles, raising his arm to shove at his younger brother, only for Hongjoong’s lightning-fast-dad-reflexes to smack it back down.

“No fighting! I’m literally begging you to make good choices today and behave like normal people. They’ve both had a really stressful day. I don’t want to make it worse.”

Yunho shakes his head at his older brother. “So you thought bringing them here to meet Wooyoung was the solution….OW! Hongjoong, he kicked me.”

“No fucking fighting! What did I just say!” Hongjoong warns. “This was a stupid idea.”

“No shit.” Yunho says, laughing. “Why did they even agree to come? Are they your friends? Do you even have friends at NASA, besides Seungcheol?”

“It’s just a guy from work and his little brother.” Hongjoong replies, feeling defensive.

“Oh great, another child to babysit. Thanks Hongjoong.”

“Shut up, Yunho.” Wooyoung grumbles. There’s another retort on the tip of his tongue but it’s cut short as they pull up into their driveway and he notices a very familiar face leaning against the other truck parked there. 

“IS THAT SEONGHWA?”

He’s out of the truck before Hongjoong has even come to a full stop.  

Yunho looks at the unfamiliar man through the windscreen, then he looks across at Hongjoong’s nervous hand fumbling with the keys. The realisation sets in slowly. 

“That’s The Doctor Park Seonghwa? I thought he’d be really old. Wooyoung said he’s this crazy smart scientist with five degrees.”

“He isn’t old and he does. Why? What’s wrong with him?”

“Nothing, nothing.” Yunho says slyly. “I guess I know why you invited him over though.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Hongjoong asks, only to be answered with a smirking shrug. “Yunho!”

With that the teenager gets out the truck and Hongjoong is left to wonder what that the hell just happened. He’s startled out of his thoughts by a small knock on the driver’s side window. 

It’s San, all dimple-smile and waving like he hadn’t just seen Hongjoong a few hours ago.

“Hey, sorry about the wait.” Hongjoong says, getting out the truck. “Didn’t trash my farm yet, did you?”

San shakes his head. “No. Your garage was locked though.”

Hongjoong laughs, because of course Choi San has already explored the property. “You could’ve picked it. I know you know how.”

“I didn’t want your brothers to hate me for trying to break into your house.” San replies. “Besides, Seonghwa would kill me.”

Hongjoong just shakes his head in amusement and motions for the young pilot to follow him. They reach the other truck parked in the driveway and find Wooyoung already talking a mile-a-minute about a burnt soldering iron. Yunho breathes a sigh of relief when he sees Hongjoong approaching. 

The introductions are awkward. 

San is guarded, jamming his hands in his pockets and continuing to survey the property with sharp observant eyes. He automatically sizes up the new competition because that’s what he’s always done when he meets new people. Other teenagers were usually just other training candidates who wouldn’t hesitate to step on him to get ahead. Other teenagers who steal the attention of his brother and adoptive father and now Hongjoong.

Wooyoung is staring uncomfortably, obviously and owlishly at San, caught between needing to “be a normal person” and wanting to spill the contents of his mind to anyone within hearing range, whether they want to hear it or not. His excitement in seeing a familiar face now overtaken by the anxiety of meeting a new one. He picks up on the discomfort and decides to hide his fidgety fingers in the front pocket of his hoodie. It was Yunho’s hoodie once and had seen so many summers and winters that its faded blue fabric was now almost grey. It was softly worn and comfortable but he suddenly feels self conscious in it.

Beside him, Hongjoong stumbles over his introduction of Doctor Park. 

“You can call me Seonghwa.” The Doctor corrects, giving both Wooyoung and Yunho a warm smile. “There’s no need to call me Doctor outside of work.”

“Sorry.” Hongjoong nods, embarrassed, and runs his hand through his hair for the third time before herding everyone in.

None of them are used to having new guests on their farm and Yunho can see his brothers struggling through it all. He really should’ve dragged Mingi over for the moral support and comic relief. 

*

The sun is high in the mid-morning sky as Seonghwa settles into an old wooden chair on the back porch. He can see the three boys standing in the field next to a very old yellow tractor with a thunderbolt painted on the side. 

Despite the awkwardly stiff introductions, they visibly relaxed and dissolved into children when Hongjoong handed them the keys to the tractor and had taken off running before the stern lecture was even finished.

Seonghwa watches Yunho and Wooyoung bicker about something now, while San stands silently off to one side, unable to keep the judging look off his face, despite NASA’s efforts to train him otherwise. 

There’s a flash of worry that maybe this was a bad idea; that San is too different, too socially unprepared, too much a sheltered “NASA Kid” to get along with regular people his age. Maybe he wasn’t ready to return to a farm. Maybe he hasn’t had enough therapy to deal with a place where his entire family had died. 

A flood of ‘maybes’ swirl nauseatingly around Seonghwa’s gut as he watches his adopted brother frown at the bickering in front of him. His legs are all but ready to trek across the field and make some excuse to leave early. 

But then Yunho says something and San lets out a loud laugh that crinkles his eyes and carries across the entire field towards the porch. It’s quickly joined by Wooyoung’s scathing protest and Yunho’s deeply indignant tone as they all climb back onto the tractor.

Seonghwa cautiously relaxes a little. 

Maybe San will be okay here. 

A light breeze brings him back to the present. It ruffles his hair and barely brushes against his skin but he can hear the way it gently rustles across the cornfields in the distance. It’s not a sound he hears often. The sky above them is as clear as it’ll ever be, the forecast this morning predicted only twenty percent haze today, which is a rarity in itself. It will increase significantly this afternoon.

Hongjoong is pottering around in the kitchen behind him. He can hear the tap running, a cupboard opening and closing, the clink of some glasses, a dull thud followed by a quiet curse. 

There’s nothing to do but sit and watch and wait. Time seems to pass slowly here on the farm, as if it was some kind of foreign alien land. The morning has become unhurried and with all his projects and responsibilities isolated to the other side of town, Seonghwa finds himself lulled into a weightless sense of serenity.

It’s just for a moment, before his brain catches the glitch and reminds him of real life again.

But in that moment, he feels something close to peace. 

Seonghwa looks up to the blue sky again. Somewhere, light years away, on distant lonely planets, there were explorers he once knew, sent on impossible missions by NASA, in the name of science and on the blind faith of his father. He wonders how they are, if they’re in hypersleep, if they’re out exploring alien terrain, if their spacecraft and tech were still viable, if they had gotten the science right, if they had already succumbed to isolation madness of the most irreversible kind, if they were still even alive. 

And on it goes. One worry after the next. One responsibility after another. The Mission never escapes him and sleeping doesn’t even offer any reprieve; if he’s not thinking about futile scenarios when he’s awake, he’s dreaming of them when he’s asleep.

“Here.” Hongjoong says, appearing by his side to place a glass of water and plate on the small table between them. “We made some sugar cookies for Yunho’s birthday, if you eat that kind of thing.”

Hongjoong had taken off his tie by now. His shirt sleeves were hastily rolled up to his elbows, with the left one shorter than the right. There are large veins running tortuous paths down his forearms that Seonghwa has never noticed before.

“Long day huh?”

Seonghwa scoffs softly. “It’s eleven thirty.”

Hongjoong runs a hand through his hair, it’s significantly longer than when they had last seen each other but not any less tamed. It was a trait he shared with his younger brothers.

“Long morning then.”

“Yes, it definitely has been.”

“Do you want to talk about the meeting? The new proposal?”

“Not particularly, no.” Seonghwa says. He’s compartmentalised and filed it all away in his mind. It will be something to spiral anxiously over tonight, when he’s alone and not being watched. 

“Oh, okay.” Hongjoong replies, taken aback by the abrupt shut down. 

Seonghwa quickly changes the subject and points towards the field in front of them. 

“What are they trying to achieve exactly?”

Hongjoong takes a sip of water and follows the line of sight. “That’s KAJO, one of our oldest tractors. It’s almost as old as Wooyoung. I think they’re trying to make it go faster by adjusting the gears. My guess is that they’re badgering Yunho to get it into top gear.”

Seonghwa frowns. “How fast can they drive it?”

“At top gear? 65 kilometres per hour.” Hongjoong explains. “I limited KAJO to 30 for the boys to practice on but I told them it’s only 20.”

“The trust runs deep, I see.” 

“What trust?” Hongjoong snorts. “With those three? And their track records? You’d have done the same.”

It’s true. He would.

“Who named it? That tractor?”

“Oh, that’s all Wooyoung.” Hongjoong replies, holding out the plate of sugar cookies that have big Y’s stamped into them. 

Seonghwa takes one and nibbles on a corner. It’s good and sweet and familiar; a nostalgic taste he hasn’t had in a long time, not since his mother died. San never really asked for cookies, even on his birthdays. But then again, San barely even asks for birthdays to begin with.

A mild ache spreads over his chest; it echoes of his mother, of lost childhoods, of premature adulthood, of regrets he has for San. He envies Hongjoong and his brothers for their idyllic life here but it’s only a brief envy. He knows what’s coming and they all deserve whatever time is left on this Earth.

“It’s a peculiar thing to call a tractor.” Seonghwa muses. “I thought he might have named her after the famous mathematician, Katherine Johnson-“

“Oh he did.” Hongjoong says with a laugh. “He was obsessed with her when he was younger. He read about her in one of dad’s old books and announced he wanted to be a human computer too.”

Seonghwa looks up in surprise, “So he really did name it after her?”

“Yep. We had to vote and everything.” Hongjoong tells him with amusement in his voice. “It was KAJO or Pikachu. We went for the shorter one.”

“Pikachu? Oh, because it’s yellow.” 

“Yep.” Hongjoong says with a lopsided smile. It looks nice on him. 

“He must really love science and maths. Is he doing well in school?”

“If you’re asking if that kid is a genius level nerd, then yes, he sure is. He’s skipped a year and a half. It’s kinda why he has no friends his own age at school. He’s used to dealing with adults and making fools of them all. Me included.”

“Your IQ is 145.” It slips out accidentally and Seonghwa’s face burns with instant regret. He blames the stress of the meeting and a poor night’s sleep and the way the farm lulls him into a false sense of security. He’s thrown off his game here.

Hongjoong looks at him knowingly but thankfully let’s the matter pass without comment. 

“Yeah, well, Wooyoung’s IQ is 160 and that was when he was twelve. I don’t even want to know what it is now.”

There’s a loud boisterous burst of yelling from out in the field. San is in the driver's seat of the tractor, it looks like they’ve figured out that the speed limiter was just merely a suggestion that didn’t apply to them.

KAJO putters slow and steady down the field before growling into top gear. San has driven, and broken, far more advanced machines in his short life, and yet, Seonghwa is a little taken aback by the wild look of exhilaration on his brother’s face as he drives the ancient farming relic. His grin is open and unclouded and a rare thing. 

“Goddammit.” Hongjoong mutters, putting down his cookie and standing up. “They figured out my limiters. I’ll go get it back down.”

“Wait.” Seonghwa interjects, surprising himself more than anything. “Leave them be, it’s okay. They seem to be enjoying it. You know San’s driven things much faster than that.”

Hongjoong looks down with uncertainty. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure. There’s nothing to crash into and they look like they’re having fun out there.”

“Two of them do.” Hongjoong observes as he sits back down. “I bet they’re completely ganging up on Yunho.”

“He seems to be handling it well.”

“Yeah of course, he’s my reliable kid.” Hongjoong says with obvious pride. “But the other two? They’re going to cause problems. I can tell you that right now. The lunacy is going to multiply. I hope you’re prepared.”

“Lunacy with others might be better than stability alone.” Seonghwa says, hoping he’s kept the melancholia out of his voice. 

Hongjoong looks at him with a comically surprised face. 

“What?” Seonghwa asks. “I was talking about San.”

“I know, I just can’t believe you, of all people, just said that.”

“San isn’t me. He seems to like having people around.”

Hongjoong laughs and for a moment Seonghwa think he’s mocking him. 

“You like having people around. I’d say that out of everyone on Earth, you’re the one trying their hardest to keep ‘having people around’. All six billion of them.”

“It’s just my job.” Seonghwa says with a light shrug. “Intelligence and knowledge without utility is selfish and useless.”

“Even if the government tells you how you should do it?”

“There’s always a price to pay.”

“So I guess the meeting this morning didn’t really go the way you wanted it to?”

“They never do.” 

“Look, I know you don’t want to talk about it but I just wanted to know why you didn’t, I don’t know, tell them all to fuck off. It’s your project.”

Seonghwa swallows the rest of the sugar cookie and looks across at the other man. Hongjoong’s hand is digging into his thigh and there’s a deep scowl on his face. It’s not something Seonghwa has come to understand yet; how a pilot who has only known about the Lazarus Mission for the last few months could muster up this much anger about it. 

But then he realises that he barely knows anything personal about Hongjoong at all. 

His father informed him of the numbers and figures. He knows things that would be critical to the mission, to NASA, things that could be useful: like Hongjoong’s IQ, his training abilities, his test scores, his aptitude for mechanical engineering, his physical evaluations, his flight records.  

He was never told anything else, because nobody thought those other details would matter. Every personal detail he’s learnt about Hongjoong has always been on his own or through San’s stories but they always point to the same conclusions: they were too different to see the Lazarus Mission the same way.

Hongjoong’s attitude in the meeting this morning hadn’t come as a surprise and his question now isn’t surprising either. Seonghwa is aware that his own behaviour could be interpreted as weak and submissive but it’s been years since he cared what other people thought of him. 

“Antagonising the NASA Board without our Head of Division present doesn’t serve any useful purpose. Your friend Commander Seungcheol? He can behave the way he does because there’s nothing more they can take away from him. Like you. You can go back to your life here and live like you always have.”

“NASA is my life. It’s my father’s life and now it’s also San’s life. Everything we have is tied there. The Lazarus Mission has been alive for the past eight years and the Board has been looking for reasons to shut it down for seven of them. I won’t let it go to ruin now just because I feel like throwing a tantrum. Taking punishment and timely diplomacy are just part of the job.”

It grows uncomfortable but it’s exactly what Seonghwa expects. It’s what he is good at: driving people away with hostility. It has happened before and it will likely happen again. He doesn’t have time to regret it, harbour guilt over it and he certainly doesn’t have time for reconciliation of unnecessary workplace relationships. 

Hongjoong is well within his rights to tell Seonghwa to leave. 

But he doesn’t. 

Instead he scratches his chin and says, “That’s a fucked up situation.”

“It is.” Seonghwa replies. There’s a lump in his throat that he doesn’t want to think about.

“Well, I’m good at the ‘taking punishment’ part but definitely not good at the ‘timely diplomacy’ part.” Hongjoong says. “So don’t judge me for wanting to punch the Board members in the face. Especially the one in the blue suit, who talked to you like a creep.”

“Masculine violence is so archaic.” Seonghwa says.

“I know.”

“I don’t condone it. But…once the Mission is over and we’ve both been successful, you have my permission to do what you like.” 

Hongjoong looks up in surprise before a worryingly mischievous grin spread across his face. 

“Okay, good. Because I hate that guy.”

*

San loves it here. 

He loves the big sky and the wide open space. He loves all the old machines and tractors they were allowed to mess around on without fear of punishment. He loves how Hongjoong has rules but at the same time, doesn’t really enforce them as long as they promise to look out for each other. He even loves watching Yunho argue with Wooyoung over trivial things that they were both technically right about. He loves all the activity around him, everywhere he turns, and how none of it has anything to do with tests or “The Mission”. 

Most of all, he loves that Seonghwa came with him and is still somehow talking to Hongjoong on the porch instead of isolating himself in his cone of silence, because his brother is really good at that.

He decides that he likes Hongjoong’s brothers. 

He finds out that Yunho is eighteen years old and Wooyoung is fourteen. He had wanted to drive the old yellow tractor first and tried not to be too disappointed when Yunho held onto the keys and sat in the driver’s seat. They had made it a few metres before Wooyoung complained about the lack of speed and guilt-tripped Yunho into hacking the speed limiter. San had watched as Yunho whipped out a screwdriver from his cargo pants and opened up the tractor hood to re-route some wires and levers. 

The two brothers had bickered over whose turn it was to drive next and San had felt the odd man out. But then suddenly Yunho turned to him, holding out the keys. 

“Test ride was fine. Do you want to give it a go? We’re going in age order. I don’t make the rules.”

He found it funny for some reason. Maybe because Wooyoung started complaining immediately that his older brother definitely did make the rules and they were invalid because they weren’t in his favour.

Yunho reminds him a lot of Mrs Park before she died. They were both kind without pitying. Supportive without being condescending. Fair and even, like a strong boat out at sea. Mrs Park was the one who insisted he stay in regular school for as long as possible and tried to find him friends his own age. It didn’t really work, she ran out to time, and he threw himself into NASA training after she died. 

As for Wooyoung. Well, he’s… a lot. Of everything all at once.

At first he was quiet, eyeing San warily, and then he wouldn’t shut up. He was loud when he fought with Yunho but quiet when he was thinking of something. A know-it-all for sure but somehow not competitive in the way San was expecting. He’s not sure how it’s possible to be over friendly and distant at the same time but apparently it is.

The wild oscillations left him unsettled and feeling unpleasantly out of control. 

He’s startled back to the present when something touches his shoulder. 

“Huh?”

“I said, do you want to see the drone we found?” Wooyoung asks as soon as Yunho walks off to talk to Hongjoong. “The one that helped us get to the NASA headquarters.”

“Wait, that was a true story? I thought Seonghwa made it up.”

“Nope, it’s a real drone but I don’t want Yunho to come, he’s just going to be so boring about it.” Wooyoung says as he grabs San’s shirt sleeve. “Come on.”

San doesn’t even get the chance to reply, just looks down curiously at where the fingers grip his shirt as he follows Wooyoung towards the house. They run past a suspicious Seonghwa and confused Hongjoong, until they reach the basement. 

Instead of dark, dingy and creepy, it was warm and stuffed full of electronics and tools and farming parts. When Wooyoung hits the lights, he finally sees the half dissected drone laying on a large wooden workbench in the middle of the room.

“Woah.” San breathes out. “This is an old one from the army. There’s more of these at our headquarters but I’ve never seen one of them up close before.”

“I knew it!” Wooyoung exclaims, mostly to himself. “I knew they were hiding more of them at NASA.”

San gingerly walks around the drone, hand hovering for a moment, before resting it on the cool metal. It still feels alive somehow. He lets his fingers run through the exposed wires and over the remaining electric boards. 

Wooyoung tracks the movement curiously, watching how gentle and oddly reverential the touch is. 

“How did it help you find the headquarters?” San asks, now crouching to look deep into the drone’s outer shell. “Seonghwa said you figured out the co-ordinates?”

Wooyoung jumps onto one of the benches as San inspects the drone. 

“Hongjoong thinks our entire farm is on a magnetic plate, that’s why the drone was circling above us. He also knew it was military so when he found the binary lines on my bedroom floor, he figured the co-ordinates were to an old military base and he was right.”

“Woah, that’s kind of badass.” San marvels. “Your brother is seriously so cool.”

“I know.” Wooyoung nods proudly. “He’s always been cool.”

“You’re lucky he’s your brother.” 

Wooyoung hums before asking, “Are you really training to be a pilot like him?”

“Yeah.” 

“So you’ll go to space one day?”

“Yep.” 

“That’s seriously so cool.”

It is cool but San shrugs it off, not used to even having a conversation like this with anyone who wasn’t already in NASA doing the exact same thing or something even better. He isn’t used to thinking that ‘going to space’ is some extraordinary feat and not just an expected rite of passage for NASA kids. And he definitely isn’t used to anyone being genuinely impressed by anything he does. 

“It’s not gonna be for a few years.” He replies with a grimace. “I’ve got a lot more training to do.”

“Do you like it?” Wooyoung asks. “Hongjoong hardly ever talks about it. He keeps saying it’s classified but as if I’d tell anyone. Who would I tell anyway? Yunho is good at keeping secrets too.”

San is surprised by the questions. It’s not the one he expected and he doesn’t have a pre-planned answer ready to go.

“Um, yeah I like it. It’s what I’ve always wanted to do. I think I’m pretty good at it.” San says carefully. “Not as good as your brother though.”

And San can tell that the brothers don’t talk about flight training or Hongjoong’s history much because now it’s Wooyoung’s turn to look surprised.

“So he used to be a really good pilot?”

San gives him a deep dimple smile. “He’s still really good at it. He’s kinda crazy.”

“Oh, well that I definitely do know.” Wooyoung smiles back. “Seonghwa is cool too though.”

San has to laugh at that. It’s not every day someone says that about his brother.

“What? Seonghwa’s awesome. He can build robots can’t he?”

“He’s built three so far and I think there’s a fourth one somewhere.”

San pauses abruptly, suddenly remembering that he was talking to a non-NASA person, that he had signed an NDA when he entered training, that he should shut up right now. 

“Okay don’t tell anyone I told you that. I don’t think I was supposed to.”

Wooyoung nods knowingly. “Don’t worry I won’t say anything. It’s probably classified information right?”

San nods, chewing his bottom lip.

There’s a beat of silence. 

“Okay but there’s FOUR of them?!” Wooyoung hisses loudly. “Are they all like CAASI?!”

“Wait, you know about CAASI?” San whips his head up, confused. “How?!"

“When Hongjoong and I broke into your headquarters. We met Seonghwa and CAASI and the Professor. Oh and Yeosang. He’s nice.”

San’s mind is reeling. Seonghwa hadn’t told him all that.

“Well, there’s LEO, he’s CAASI’s little brother, but other two don’t have names yet.” San says. 

Wooyoung is still perched on a bench, swinging his legs and looking too excited over classified information. 

“What do they do exactly? Seonghwa said they’re programmed to solve problems and for flight navigation.”

San nods. “They can do so much more than that. I don’t even really know everything. They don’t tell the pilot trainees all the details.”

It was the truth. 

San might be living with Seonghwa and the Professor but he knows there’s so much information that’s classified and deliberately kept from him. He’s stopped feeling offended about it years ago, knowing that information leaks would only get Seonghwa and the Professor in trouble. 

“That’s so cool.” Wooyoung says, and San wonders if he’ll say that about everything. 

“Yeah it’s pretty cool.”

“I can…umm builds robots too. Do you want to see one?” Wooyoung asks nervously, voice faltering half way through, like he changed his mind after starting the sentence. “I’ve got them here, I mean, if you want to see them. They’re not as good as all the ones you’ve seen at NASA, obviously, but anyways, it’s okay if that’s boring, actually nevermind.”

“No, I want to see them.” San says, still marvelling at how a person could use so many words to make an offer then withdraw it immediately in the same breath.

Wooyoung looks at him for a few moments, as if to gauge whether he’s being genuine or not. But he must have eventually decided because he jumps off the bench and sets off up the stairs.

“Okay, be right back.”

San nods and sits down at the workbench to wait. There’s scattered papers next to the drone, detailed schematic drawings mixed in with rough doodles of robots that look like CAASI but less blocky. He’s trying to read the terrible handwriting but pounding footsteps into the basement makes him look up. 

“Okay, don’t laugh.” Wooyoung says, as he gingerly places a robot on the ground. It’s a mismatched block of dark grey metal accented with Lego pieces in purple and green. There are two small ‘ears’ where the head is. It stands just over thirty centimetres tall. It looks ridiculous but also oddly impressive.

“This is SPIKE.”

“Spike?” San snorts. “You didn’t name it after an ancient old scientist like Seonghwa does?” 

“SPIKE is an ancient old space pilot.” Wooyoung replies seriously. “Haven’t you ever watched Cowboy Bebop?”

San laughs in earnest then. 

This guy is so weird.

 “Well I wasn’t going to call him R2D2 or something.” Wooyoung pets the robot proudly and fondly. “Seonghwa named CAASI for Isaac Newton right? I figured that one out but who did he name LEO after?”

“Galileo.” San says. “The father of-“

“-astronomy and modern physics.” Wooyoung finishes easily. “That makes sense.”

San hops off the stool and crouches down to inspect SPIKE more closely. As rudimentarily as it looks, he can tell from the intricately melded metal and wiring that it was built with a lot of time and care. 

“So what can he do?”

Wooyoung pulls out a remote control and flips a switch behind SPIKE’s ear. 

There’s a jerky whirr that makes San scoot back. And then, the robot starts walking across the basement floor. When it reaches the wall, it doesn’t turn, but simply starts walking backwards towards them again. 

“It’s multi directional.” Wooyoung says by way of explanation. “But only forwards and backwards. I haven’t figured out the rest yet.”

“So kinda like a tank?”

“Exactly like a tank!” Wooyoung nods, smiling excitedly that someone gets it.

“I can’t believe you built that.” San stands up. “It’s really cool."

Wooyoung reaches down to scoop up his robot and place him on the workbench. “Well, Seonghwa was building way more advanced stuff at my age.”

San rolls his eyes. “Yeah but Seonghwa was a total nerd who had no friends. Literally nothing has changed.”

Discomfort flashes across Wooyoung’s eyes as he nods along.

“Not that there’s anything wrong with that!” San adds quickly. “I’m just saying that Seonghwa isn’t normal and nobody should expect be like that!”

Wooyoung’s hand closes protectively around one of SPIKE’s legs. “I wouldn’t mind being as good as him.”

San tilts his head.

“Why do you want to be like him? What if you turn out better?” He says earnestly and means it. 

Wooyoung shrugs, unconvinced. “Yeah, maybe.”

*

“Oh my god, here you are!” Hongjoong says with relief when he finds Wooyoung and San in the basement. “What are you doing down here? It’s so dusty.”

“Is that a robot?” Seonghwa asks, pointing to the block of Lego-metal on the workbench. 

Wooyoung brightens and nods. “Yeah this is SPIKE.”

“SPIKE?” Seonghwa chuckles, “Who did you name him after?”

“Cowboy Bebop."

“Oh right, of course.” Seonghwa replies without batting an eyelid. “He looks good. Does he move?”

Hongjoong hops onto the bench as he watches Wooyoung excitedly turn the robot back on and show off his handiwork to another audience member. San moves to sit down next to him.

For all his prickly and guarded exterior, Seonghwa is unexpectedly warm and generous with his attention and patience. He nods and asks questions when it’s needed and knows to stay quiet when Wooyoung explains his overly ambitious visions. It’s a natural exchange, not just an adult pretending to care, it twists something in Hongjoong’s chest and he wishes his brothers could’ve grown up with two actual parents instead of a struggling substitute.  

“Are you okay?” San asks, interrupting his thoughts. 

“Hrm? Yeah, I’m fine. I think I just zoned out a bit.”

“He does that a lot.” Wooyoung says. “I just don’t think he likes robots.”

Seonghwa raises a curious eyebrow. “Is that right?”

“What? No.” Hongjoong protests. “I never said I didn’t like them. Where did you get that idea from?”

“You called SPIKE a ‘metal menace’.” Wooyoung says accusingly. “Then banned him from the house for three days.”

“He is a menace! He tracked mud through the entire kitchen and ran over my toes last week. What’s worse than metal and Lego rolling over your toes? Nothing.”

San cackles loudly and even Seonghwa looks amused. 

“Maybe SPIKE can detect an unbeliever in its midst.”

Hongjoong gives Seonghwa a deadpan look. “It’s a robot. It’s not sentient.”

“Yet.” Wooyoung adds ominously before turning to Seonghwa. “Do you think it’s possible? You’ve done it haven’t you?”

“I don’t think it’s impossible.” Seonghwa says carefully. “It’s an incredibly difficult program to write but I think it will be fully achievable one day with the right scientist. It might be necessary, in case you need a robot army against narrow minded older brothers.”

“When was I narrow minded? I’m very open minded!” Hongjoong says indignantly, turning to San for moral support, only for the teenager to just give him the thumbs up . “Who do you think buys all the Lego and electronics?!”

“It’s fine.” Seonghwa says calmly, if not condescendingly. “Only people with refined tastes and high intelligence can appreciate complex robotics.”

They’re laughing at his expense and Hongjoong swears there’s an epic comeback on the tip of his tongue but the pounding of Yunho’s footsteps causes them all to turn towards the basement’s entrance. 

“Um, just wondering if you guys are staying for lunch? It’s nearly one-thirty and if we don’t feed him soon Wooyoung’s gonna turn into a gremlin.”

“Shut Up Yunho!”

Seonghwa shakes his head, ignoring San’s pleading eyes, “Thank you but I’m afraid we’ll have to head back home to check on our father.”

San pouts quietly in his seat. 

“But maybe next time?” Seonghwa adds as a compromise.

“No problems, just checking!” Yunho smiles easily and trudges back upstairs.

“We really should be going now actually.” Seonghwa says, petting SPIKE’s head carefully. “I don’t want to get caught driving in the late afternoon dust.”

“Oh yeah, good idea.” Hongjoong nods as they all stand to make their way out of the basement. The jubilant energy fizzles out. San is pouting aggressively and Wooyoung only quietly nods as Seonghwa tells him to persist with SPIKE’s development.

Outside, afternoon sun had slipped behind a hazy cloud. There’s a more obviously breeze that stirs the dust now and even though the hour wasn’t that late yet, both the atmosphere and light have visibly dimmed, much like his mood. 

“Well, drive safely, hope you miss the late dust fog. Tell the Professor that I wish him a speedy recovery.”

“I will.” Seonghwa nods. 

Hongjoong turns to an obviously grumpy San. “If you ever need to deal with your frustrations or boredom, I’d rather you take it out on a fifty dollar tractor and not a million dollar NASA machine okay?”

Wooyoung mouths a quiet ‘what?!’ in the background that San pretends he doesn’t hear. 

“Okay, thanks Hongjoong.” San says sheepishly before waving to Wooyoung and Yunho and getting into the truck. “See you next time.”

And then there were two.

“Hope it wasn’t too boring for you today.” Hongjoong says, sticking his hands in his pockets. 

“It wasn’t.” Seonghwa replies.

“Okay, good.” Hongjoong hums. “I meant what I said before though; if he’s getting restless and annoying, you can drop him off here. Let them roll in mud and run around or whatever.”

“They’re teenagers not toddlers.”

Hongjoong shrugs. “Same difference.”

Seonghwa smiles. It’s possibly the first time it’s directed right at Hongjoong’s face and he’s not sure what to do about it. 

“Thank you Hongjoong.” Seonghwa says, looking back at San in the truck. “I think San enjoyed himself. I hope he didn’t break anything.”

“Oh….yeah, no no he didn’t.” Hongjoong stutters. “It’s no problem, err, Seonghwa.”

There’s a smirk. “That’s the first time you’ve said my name like that.”

“Well, that’s the first time you’ve said mine.” 

“No, its not.” 

“Yeah, well…whatever.”

Hongjoong wonders how they got to this place. And how it’s possible that he’s met yet another version of Seonghwa today: not the intimidating interrogator or smirking genius or the man who showed incredible restraint during this morning's meeting.

No, he met San’s brother on his porch this afternoon. 

He wonders which version he’ll meet next. 

“Goodbye, Hongjoong.”

“Bye…Seonghwa.”

He waves then stands until the truck is out of view and the dust cloud has settled on their dirt driveway. As he turns to go inside, he’s blocked by a very smug looking Yunho leaning against the doorway.

“Just a guy from work, huh?”

[ghosts-station]

Something ive noticed in the timestamped footage

they all look normal. i know this sounds weird but take a look at it. theres no candyland, mandy is just wearing a random pink shirt and has a stand where she sells candy. 8bit is still in the arcade, its an inanimate object, and has both of its guns. rik doesnt know who nita and leon are, he just refers to them as two little deliquents (or something along those lines). both of them also dont have their hoods on,, you cant see anything related to brawling at all?? its just a regular theme park. and dynamike looked at those gems like hes never seen them before

also remember that scene in the investor video?

thats the mine again. if i rememeber correctly an alarm goes off and this guy turns old.

so my theory is that starr park was a normal theme park built next to a mine, and they found the gems (seems like the gems have some kind of ability, maybe makes them invincible to actual death, made animals and plants and inanimate objects humanoid (for example spike, crow, ruffs) and gives them urges to fight i guess) they turned them into brawlers and stuff, maybe even set off a time loop. and starr park tries to cover that up (and hide it from the brawlers too) hence the this is normal and the (new) wkbrl radio. also doesnt let them leave because then other people would notice the gems' impact

[softspiderling]

Ive seen a few jokes made about Harry’s platform shoes and I think the origin is that Harry is a little insecure about his height.

He was on a live in 2022 and he talked about how he made sure to fix his posture for season 1 because he got bullied about it and someone commented something like “Can you fix your height as well?” and he got visibly upset but tried to play it off as a joke

Elliot (Luke’s actor) had a big growth spurt and he’s not taller than Harry. Elliot got a comment on one of his videos saying something like “How does Harry feel about you being taller than him?” and Elliot replied “He doesn’t like to talk about it”

Plus Tom and Harry’s photoshoot where they are both standing up and Tom is bending his knees slightly. In another photo, Tom is sitting in a chair and Harry is standing so the theory was that they staged that photoshoot to kind of disguise Harry’s vertical challenges

yeah i think it’s normal to be self-conscious about your height as a man when you’re not the tallest but idk the comment with the “can you fix your height as well” is kind of rude so i understand if he got upset about it.

and maybe it’s just me but elliot’s comment just sounds like “omg he doesn’t like that his younger brother is taller than me”

AND regarding the photo shoot😭 there are photos where both of them are standing, i just think that the sitting makes it look a little less stiff? there’s tons of photos where they’re standing next to each other

[bbina]

i fckng hate second chances with every fiber of my being and every living cell in my body. once its over, its over. if u fckd up IMMEDIATELY ✂️✂️✂️ i hate it when a characters get second chances after fckng it up real bad like NO U DO NOT DESERVE ANOTHER CHANCE AND OTHER MC ALSO DOES NOT DESERVE TO RISK GETTING HURT AGAIN

on the contrary tho, for btl, i do think yn should get another chance? is it another chance? well, wonbin didnt really give her a chance to explain herself, he went ahead of himself and created assumptions. and i know that every one says yn is the problem cus had she not offered the fake dating set up this wouldnt have happened BUT wonbin had no problem agreeing to it so....wouldnt really say yn is the root problem. the root problem is their lack of effective communication skills, emotional management/control and listening skills!!! wonbin im sorry but running away was a stupid af thing to do and i know ur hurt but u literally made assumptions after seeing 2ppl hug. babes ppl can hug platonically, believe me. thats all i have to say. *bows, drops mic and leaves stage*

im sorry for the sudden rant when this discourse was already over like a week ago i could not help it. ive been following u for a while but i am a silent reader and this is my first time sending an ask to anyone here in general. im so nervous. is my english okay? i swear i know proper punctuations but im too lazy to do it rn rip. i just want to say ive never been so invested in an eng au cus i usually read the ones in my native language cus THEM ANGST HIT DIFFERENT BRO anyway, i love ur writing sm <33 makes me wanna start writing again as well if it werent for my busy af shed (graduating student things). cant wait for the next updates ✨️🫶🫶

but the angst material is tew gewd don’t you think? second chances trope is nice and all if done right 🤪 maybe some groveling here and there and viola! perfection

most valid btl theory ive seen 😫 they’re both dumb 🤝 and did mistakes,, (yn made a bigger mistake tho) but point still stands

nah ur sudden rant about the week old discourse is perfectly okay. any rant about btl is 👌 cus im curious on how each person takes in the story and seeing a bunch of different reactions is what keeps me going 😫🤝 AND AGAIN IM HONORED TO BE ONE OF THE FIRST PEOPLE YOU SENT AN ASK TO 🙏 your english is great!!!! thank you so much for reading!! and i hope whatever i put out or something makes u want to go back to writing 🙏 i myself is a graduating student too but i still find the time to insert my hobby which is this because i love it so much and its honestly my stress reliever (contrary to popular belief i write more eloquently when i’m either stressed or having a headache idek why lol maybe it gets my brain juice all worked up)

[windypuddle]

hello i have so many thoughts about triage

ok so short version i think what probably happened is his wife was sick and he tried to use organ transplants from his children to save her and it didnt work*. this is just going to be me dumping all my thoughts and hoping they make sense

*maybe they were incompatible because his kids got more of his genes. he might also feel guilty about that.

*other option is they WERE compatible so he took organs from his kids to use as a transplant for his wife and this possibly killed the kid(s) and/or it just didnt take anyway so all three of them died. considering how the bit after the bridge shows all three of them liquifying i think they all died

^ ive seen a lot of theories about how it might be medicine but i feel like with the organ compatibility labels in throw down this might be like. labels for when youre transporting organs? and him handing it to his son is like handing down his fate (death) and he feels sooo guilty about it

“those cards of promise i discarded, they were retribution for my incessant taking” aha. because he had been taking organs from patients he was being “punished” by fate by  getting incompatibility reports. this begs the question does he believe in some karmic fate or a higher power? which makes his deal with amane interesting

OK starting from the beginning now. i think its really interesting how hes shown in much more casual clothes because in throw down it was either doctor uniform or like designer clothes? so this is almost like a third side of him

“in that case, i should’ve been the one” he feels, looking back, like he should’ve sacrificed himself to save his wife instead of their kids

the arches are so interesting i think they represent choice, his choice of who to save: his wife or his kids. shidou in casual clothes is seen walking in front of the arches and then in more formal clothes hes standing between them, forced to make a choice

the flowers wilting as he walks by them... man. i dont have anything to say its just a neat imagery on how he causes death or whatever

pomegranates... pomegranates  r so symbolic of various things like  life and death (think persephone) . i do not need to go into all that. everyone know about the fruit having the medical labels so that represents maybe medicine?

“killing, extracting, i still wont see them again” despite all his efforts it didnt work and he couldnt save his wife and ended up killing their sons. sad! well theres other worlds

i think the visuals in that bit are also interesting but moreso in a way of like. ok hes a doctor of course theyre well off but like dayum!! lobster? and pomegranates? expensive tastes. like how  this whole pursuit is costly hmm?

“i need to be tagged as red” he feels so guilty and thinks he deserves to die. im  not elaborating on this too much everyone knows this and he repeats it multiple times.

the octave? pitch change from that part to the chorus is really drastic and i feel like that denotes that the chorus is specifically him in milgram thinking about it and not just his memories

“the love that wont perish” oh OH.  oh.    hey . what if he sees the innocent vote as  a cruel love that wont die  unlike his wife who did die.  hey wouldnt that be fucked up

the older (?) kid looks like he liked shidou more because he runs to him when he gets home, whereas the other one stays by his mom’s side... man if that kid was shidous favorite and trusted him more that would hurt EXTRA if he was the one that shidou was mainly taking transplants from

hes indispensable so now he feels like hes not allowed to die because the other prisoners need him...

ok in the bridge i think its interesting because when the guilty line shows up, only one of the arches shadows is visible, but on the innocent line, both of them are visible... he feels guilty because of the choice he made but maybe if hed managed to save everyone then his actions wouldve been justified and forgivable. also more pomegranates representing death and i think the pancakes represent their happy home life

this part is fascinating because while he feels like he IS guilty and SHOULD be sentenced to death... he wants to have a purpose again (helping people) and he wants to have a reason to live and he wants to redeem himself... “to extract that fang” i know some people are interpreting this as oh hes gonna get rid of kotoko. but honestly i think he just wants to heal and mitigate the damage shes doing (the “fang”)

the chorus sounds weird when you first listen to the words but like.... hes so sickened by his own actions... he doesnt believe he should be forgiven but he does want to live deep down. “i want to be innocent, i want to live”

if anyone has any ideas on the “hurling slurs of ‘hostage game’“ or if theres a better translation... i do not really understand this line at all... maybe it represents how he feels like he has a choice between the lives of either kotoko or the other guilty prisoners... like he had to choose between his wife and their kids... because in a hostage situation you cant get everything you have to compromise

“you do know that its up to me” ahaha noo dont develop a god complex. and as he says the last “im indispensable” he puts the doctor outfit back on....

[yuukei-yikes]

give 5 of your favorite takane headcanons plzplz *big eyes*

this has been sitting in my inbox for a few weeks cuz i was trying to come up with something i havent drawn/talked about before but whatever Lets fucking go even if i repeat shit OK FIRST OF ALL. THE FUCKING SLEEVES. takane post str keeping the ene sleeves bc of sensory issues my beloved <3 i think he rly tries to laugh it off at first kinda like in denial but eventually gives in (or like in that comic i made haruka talks her into it and how its ok a lil bit too)

i also drew this in a harutaka i posted but takane randomly giving static shock to people when they touch them ajdhnsakdjskf <- something having the long sleeves also helps with cuz that way he doesnt have to actually touch anyone. victims of this most often are haruka (by accident) and shintaro (on purpose). also its hair randomly standing up bc. static. this makes no sense ofc but i think its a funny and silly way to translate takane's power in her physical body. the more time he spends as ene the more charged with random electricity its physical body is. RIP harutaka kisses they kinda hurt. u can make the our love is electrifying joke only like 3 times before it becomes annoying. eventually takane thinks haruka becomes immune but in reality he just gets used to it

this is kinda canon ig cuz of that saiyuki comic abt enoshima(was it enoshima. i might be misremembering LOL whatever the picture contest one) where its implied shes been playing for a living so streamer vtuber ene REAL. a hit bc its an insane fucking model to have. when asked who made it enes just like ohh sorry the guy who made is my teacher who died lol!!! maybe theres a bunch of conspiracy videos abt it because ene stops going online for 2 years and then theyre back but instead of a silent stream like it always was its THIS. huge hit though. its awesome. streamer takane is so real not only does he use its power for a job but its also basically "kay time to go to work *falls asleep*" takane being the only? mekadan guy who actually loves their power and actively uses it post str will never not be funny they/she/he/it takane btw. if you even care. bisexual nonbinaries eating hot chip and lying. blue hair AND pronouns. ALSO THE BLUE HAIR ive also drawn this a few times but takane chopping all its hair off+dyeing it blue my beloved. post str takane is never rly drawn with the long hair he has when she gets his body back but ummm i think itd be funny if post str they had it and cut it straight to short from there. i do not want to see the no9 novel ever tbh im fine with it being buried and dead but omg....takane design without the stupid fucking pigtails im BEGGING id kill to see a canon takane design without them. but i live in my delusion and in it theres short blue hair and pronouns!!!

not so much of a takane headcanon more of a general one but also sort of related. im so fascinated by what saeru must've told haruka and takane's parents. haruka was gonna die anyway so his dad wouldnt be surprised but theres No Body? i think for him he was probably a little gaslighted abt seeing him dead and by how he is described maybe he wouldve been fine with never looking at his son dead+convinced to have a closed casket by his old pal mr tateyama and just buried an empty casket for haruka.

but for takanes grandma its so complicated bc she had no REASON to have takane disappear like that. basically i think saeru gaslights gatekeeps girlbosses so hard like gaslights both’s parents to hell and back but especially takanes grandma bc harukas dad is more or less covered but with all its money and resources it can cover up haruka and takanes disappearances altogether so takanes just. Gone. and this poor womans rly has no answers, no closure, no nothing. takane just vanishes!!! grandma enomoto protagonist when. i think itd be funny if she went full on old woman conspiracy theory mode or just tries to move on with this huge mystery behind. takane and grandma reunion i want to see it. haruka with his dad too tbh im rly curious what theyd tell them and what theyve been told LOL

i think haruka and takane dont go back to their families immediately bc they have no fucking clue what to even say so they stay in the hideout for the time being (would the dan move to the tateyama house post str? i read this in a fic once i think itd make sense and i always go sniff sniff imagining mekatrio+mary saying goodbye to the 107 apt). but for takane it sort of becomes urgent bc um it starts becoming apparent she needs its meds and the dan does NOT have the funds so while haruka can wait it out takane is like forced to go back home. i think at first takane would try to pull thru bc with its powers he can still hang out and stuff but its rather haruka/shintaro/ayano being like UMMMM... YEA U NEED UR MEDS. yuukei quartet visiting enomoto grandma WHEN!!!!!!they go 4 emotional support/help to explain i thinks. i think they wouldve known her back then too cuz in the sixth novel haruka mentions they go to takane's house for ayano's bday party after the gaming event.

ummm... sorry this got long. sits down. sry theyre all moslty post str headcanons LOL post str my beloved