#i spent waaaay to long on this and kinda had to rush it at the end to finish it in time

[shad0w-elemental]

Day 3: Fragments, this is what you are...

the people in our life and our experiences with them are pieces of what shapes us

[astronomoney]

IDK if you're still taking requests or not, but the latest fix on D. Wayne was 😍🥰. For part 2 can you add the prompts 11 from fluff, 6 from angst and 20 from neutral pretty please?🥺🥺

Pairing: Damian Wayne x fem!reader (age 16ish)

Prompts: Prompt list ☁︎11- “Hey hey hey, it’s ok i’m here. It’s just me ok, you’re safe.” ᜊ6- “I don’t care about you anymore.” “i’m starting to think you never did.” ⚛︎20-“Please be quite, i can’t even hear myself losing my will to live.”

Summary: After the fight you had with Damian things have been tense but sometimes bottling up your emotions only make things worse (i can’t do summary’s to save my life) enemies-to-lovers because i’m a sucker for that shit

Warnings: Blood, swearing, kinda character death i guess, Damian being a dick as always, angsty teens being angsty teens

A/n: this is a part 2 but you can find part 1 here once again this took waaaay to long to write literally i could not figure out what to do but whatever because i did it and i’m proud of myself for it (Masterlist)

Word count: 3k jeez these are getting longer

Tag list: @battlenix @pleasestophoney wow look at that multiple tags

Part 1

Love and War pt2

Spending spring break in Wayne manor had its ups and downs. Ups included a huge library in the south wing, delicious homemade meals every day, and the best water pressure you’d ever experienced. The downs included 8 hours of training daily, getting lost while trying to find a bathroom, and having to spend way too much time with your arch enemy.

Technically he's not your enemy. At least he’s not supposed to be. After the fight you had last week you couldn’t be sure. You’d had fights with Damian before but this felt different. Usually after a fight he'd sulk for a few hours but then it would go back to normal, but this time it didn’t go back to normal. Damian had been avoiding you for almost 8 days.

You knew the fight ended too soon and you both had more to say but if he was going to act like a child and ignore you then you weren't going to stop him. You still had to patrol with him but it was considerably quieter. The manor was big enough for the both of you and after a few days you'd figured out his schedule and how to get around him. Tim let you train with him, so as long as you stayed on your side of the gym and Damian stayed on his you didn't have to interact with him at all.

It wasn't until the 4th day of break that you had to talk to him. Bruce had to go meet with the league for the day so training ended early. You had a couple hours before dinner and decided reading would be the best use of that time. You walked down one of the many hallways lazily dragging your hand along the wall until you reached a door. You couldn't remember exactly where you were but you were about 75% sure there was a couch in this room, so you pushed the door open.

Inside you found tall ceilings paired with dark wallpaper, a tall window with the thin white curtains pushed out of the way, and a couch. Actually it was three couches but after 4 days staying here you'd gotten used to the large number of furniture that was there for no reason.

The couches formed a square with the open side facing the window lined wall. The first two couches were empty but when you stepped farther inside the room you saw someone sitting on the third one. Of course the one room you picked to go into also happened to be the one room Damian was sitting in. He looked up from his sketchbook and immediately frowned.

There were two options in front of you. You could back out of the room and leave him be but then you'd be backing down from something that might not even turn into a fight which made you seem weak so really you were left with only one choice. You straighten your back and closed the door behind you, officially leaving you in a room alone with Damian for the first time since the fight. You walked over to the couch facing the windows head on and sat down on the side farthest from him. He watched you the whole time but you paid him no attention, instead you simply opened your book and began reading.

You felt his eyes leave your form and you let out a quiet breath. You heard a page turn and a  pencil being dragged lightly across paper. It had been over a week but nothing seemed to be getting better between you and him. Patrols were a nightmare beforehand but now that he'd switched from constant criticism to almost no comments you found that you preferred the former.

Damian's pencil against the paper was the only sound in the room and yet the silence seemed so loud. You hated it. You hated having to avoid him all the time. You hated not being able to talk to him anymore. You hated how far away he felt even when he was right next to you. Above all you hated that you didn't hate him as much as you used to.

You never realized how much you talked to him until you didn't. It was a weird feeling to miss someone when you hadn't even known you cared about them. You honestly just wanted to apologize and let things get back to normal but as you sat there staring at your book you couldn't bring yourself to say anything.

After three to many nightmares where Damian got hurt, you finally realized how badly you needed him back. So you took a deep breath, swallowed your pride, opened your mouth, and prayed to god that something would come out.

"Look-"

"Damian-" you both spoke at the same time. "Sorry, you go first." You apologized.

"No you can go first." He replied almost nervously. That couldn't be right, he never got nervous.

"Uh I was just going to say, well i've been thinking lately,"

"You?" He asked sarcastically.

"Oh haha really funny. Will you just listen for a goddamn second." He was not making this easy. "I know we haven't been talking much ever since, well you know and uhh." You couldn't find the right way to word it. You were still too stubborn to outright apologize but you knew he would never say sorry unprompted. "You've just seemed... off, lately and if it has something to do with me-"

"It doesn't." He cut you off. "I'm not 'off' and even if I was you definitely wouldn't be the cause." His expression was blank but calculated.

"Well jeez you don't have to be so rude about it." You sneered back at him. "What were you trying to say anyway." So much for your apology.

"I've convinced father to change our partners." His voice was flat and he seemed bored with the conversation.

"You what?" You stood up. You couldn't believe he actually did that without talking to you first.

He stood up as well and was a few inches higher than you. "We don't work well together, you can't tell me you don't agree."

"I don't! We've been a great team! Remember the Penguin pen raid or Mr Freeze's death ray thingy." you exaggerated your point by waving our hands through the air. "We stopped those. Together. You can't just go around changing things without asking me first!" You were fuming.

"Sure I can! We only stopped those villains because of what I did, you just got in the way." he pointed at you.

Here we go again, the blame game. The endless cycle of 'he did this she did that'. You were so sick of it. "That's bullshit and you know it. I can hold my own on the field just as well as you can. And you know what! I don't even want to be your partner anymore."

"Neither do I! You can go play hero with someone else while I do all the real work. I never wanted you on the team in the first place!" He stared you down and if you weren't so fired up you'd probably be intimidated.

"God you're so annoying!” You threw your hands up in frustration. “You think you're so great and no one can even come close to you but in reality you're exactly like the rest of us!"

What were you doing? This wasn't what you wanted. You wanted to apologize and make things right but now here you were screaming at him again. You almost couldn't help it. Fighting him gave you a sort of rush that you craved. It was like a drug and you were addicted to the pain. You didn't want to fight him but it was the closest thing to a conversation you'd had in over a week and at this point it was enough to satisfy your need.

"I'm going to prove that i'm better than you. I'll do it on my own too!" You told him.

"Go ahead and try! You can do whatever you want because I don't care about you anymore."

You stepped back, stood as tall as you could without going on your tiptoes and took a breath. "I'm starting to think you never did." You said calmly, it seemed to catch him off guard and he didn't retaliate. You grabbed your book and turned towards the door. Dick was standing there, completely still and staring at you and Damian.

"Woah." He said awkwardly. He clearly didn't know how to handle the situation he'd just stumbled on.

You pushed past him and into the hallway. Tears were building up in the corners of your eyes so you had to move fast, the last thing you needed right now was for them to see you cry. 

Damian watched you walk out before turning around and groaning. "I can't believe her," he muttered to himself. "I'm starting to think you never did. That doesn't even make sense."

"Because... you do care about her?" Dick asked. It probably wasn't the best choice of words.

Damian looked back at him with an almost offended expression. "That's ridiculous! I don't care about her, that was basically the whole point of our conversation."

"Was that a conversation? The part of that 'conversation' I saw seemed more like her yelling at you and then you... yelling back." He stated the obvious.

"That was completely her fault," Damian defended. He seemed angry but it wasn't his usual kind. Usually it was directed at someone or something and usually that thing would get acquainted with his katana but this time he was mad at himself and he couldn't understand why. "I don't care about her." He repeated quietly almost trying to remind himself more than anything.

You spent the rest of the day hiding in the guest room. You planned on staying there forever and letting yourself fade out of existence but the universe had other plans. 3 hours, 5 episodes of your favorite show, and a nest made of blankets later you got a call from Tim asking you to come to the cave.

He didn't tell you why he needed you, he just said to meet him in the lower level of the cave so when you got there you were very surprised to find him and Damian standing in the hallway. You groaned internally and considered turning around and just walking away but Tim spotted you before you could. Damian's back was to you so he didn't know who it was until he turned around and you saw his face fall.

'Nice to see you too asshole' You thought to yourself, walking over to stand near him but still keeping your distance. "What did you need?" You asked, wanting to get out of there as soon as humanly possible. You kept your eyes ahead trying not to look at Damian and you had the feeling he was doing the same.

The entire mood of the dimly lit hallway had shifted from the moment you locked eyes with him and the tension was noticeable. Tim looked between the two of you before clearing his throat and bringing the attention back to him. "I actually don't need anything."

"So then why did you call telling me to come down here?" Damian asked, clearly annoyed that Tim was wasting his time.

Tim smirked in response and opened the door before Jason, who was behind you apparently, pushed you both into the room before either of you could react. You landed on top of Damian with a grunt. Once you realized you were on top of him you felt your cheeks turn red and you stood up quickly. You could have sworn you saw the slightest bit of a blush on him but you were too preoccupied with the now locked door to think about too much.

"Ok love birds here's the deal, you're petty hormone fueled fighting is driving us crazy and now we're doing something about it." Jason told you from the other side of the small glass window. "We said you were gonna lock you in a room until you figured out how to get along and now we're following through." he smirked.

"I swear to god if you lock me in this room with him,"  you motioned towards Damian, "I will drop kick you into the sun."

"If you let us out now maybe I won't kill you," Damian threatened alongside you.

"Maybe if you’d learned to talk to each other like normal people you wouldn’t be here in the first place," Tim said. "We'll be back after patrol so you've got about," he looked at his watchless wrist "4ish hours. Have fun." And with that they both walked away.

"DON'T YOU DARE WALK AWA- and they're gone. Dammit." You cursed and hit the steel door which hurt a lot more than you thought it would. "Shit," You shook your hand.

"Well that was just stupid," Damian scoffed at you, taking your hand to examine it. He always did that sort of thing on patrol so you didn't pull away or even really register what he was doing.

"Oh i'm sorry, is my frustration not smart enough for you?" you sneered back. "What even is this place anyway," You looked around the small dark room, determined to not look him in the eyes.

"A containment cell for metas, we haven't used it for a while so the power blockers are probably turned off." he told you before releasing your hand. "You definitely bruised it but you'll be fine."

You reluctantly thanked him and turned back to the door to see if you could get it open somehow. "Ok so how do we get out?"

"We don't."

You flipped around, surprised to hear him give up without even trying. "You're kidding right? There's gotta be some way out of here. We're superheros, a few walls can't hold us,” you exclaimed. “Can't you use those ninja skills you're so proud of and like... kick it down, or something?" You watched him walk to the back of the small cell and sit down on the floor.

"No," he replied simply. "This room was built to hold the most dangerous people in Gotham and I don't know if you've noticed but we don't have any of our gear." He glared at you and you rolled your eyes.

"So we're just supposed to wait here until they get back? We can't just sit here all night," You tried to convince him to do... anything really.

"Well if you're so keen on getting out then let's hear your genius plan," He leaned forward with all the smugness of billionaires son, daring you to say something.  "That's what I thought. Now will you please be quiet, I can't even hear myself losing my will to live."

"Fine whatever we'll just stay here in complete silence," You muttered sarcastically under your breath. Damian remained quiet as you started pacing back and forth but you could tell he was watching you.

After pacing for about 30 minutes you realized how tired you were from training so hard the past couple of days and sat down in the corner. You spent so much time over the last week worrying about Damian that you hadn't let yourself relax long enough to get any real rest. The little sleep you did manage to get mostly turned to nightmares.

At first you didn't even realize you were asleep. It all looked real enough except for the fact that you'd somehow been transported to a rooftop. You scanned your surroundings but everything was just slightly out of focus so you couldn't tell exactly where you were. When you turned around you saw him. Damian was there, and behind him was a shadowy sort of silhouette.

The shadow raised a knife and you realized what was happening. You tried to warn him, you tried to scream or yell or move but it was no use. The knife plunged into Damians back and you were helpless to stop it. You felt the pain he felt, you felt the blade slice through you. Finally you could move again but it was too late. The shadow disappeared but you didn't care about it, all you wanted to do was get to Damian. You ran forward but it was like running through water, your body moved in slow motion and you watched the blood start to pool underneath him.

Suddenly you were falling. Damian was gone, the roof was gone, everything was gone, it was just you and a black abyss trying to swallow you up. You screamed again but no noise came out, it was like all the air was being sucked from your lungs. It was silent and dark and empty nothingness until you saw a faint light. Then you heard something, your name being repeated, someone calling you and then you were pulled out of the void.

You shot up and gasped for air and frantically looked around but your eyes hadn't adjusted to the light yet. You heard a familiar soothing voice pulled you farther out of your trance.

"Hey hey hey, it's ok i'm here." The voice was calm and concerned at the same time. "It's just me ok, you're safe," Rough hands gently turned your head and the first thing you saw clearly was a pair of worried green eyes. You're breathing slowed and you're heart nearly skipped a beat.

Wrapping your arms around his chest you pulled him closer. He hesitated for a moment before folding you into his embrace. It was soft and delicate and it seemed like he was scared of holding you too tightly. Neither of you said anything else, you just sat there on the floor of a meta containment cell in each other's arms.

Time stood still and you finally admitted the truth to yourself. The real reason you hated Damian was because you loved him.

A/n: might fuck around and make a part 3 with the classic “because i love you!” confession scene

[kissjane]

OH NO THEY WERE ROOMMATES / Very much unshort fic

#14 from this prompt list (I had to scroll waaaay down to get this link...)

Listen, for some reason these last few prompts from the list don’t wanna play nice. I have no idea whether this is any good, but at least it’s finished. I’ll settle for it at this point. Five to go!

We’re roommates but we’re falling for each other

It had started as a quick white lie, to get the boys off his back. They kept pushing him to go talk to any boy who looked at him a bit too long, or to give his number to basically any barista or waiter ever, or to go on a blind date with Basile’s cousin.

So Lucas had told them he had a thing going with his roommate.

Which was definitely not true.

But not because Lucas didn’t want to.

He’d had a crush on the handsome boy since he met him when he first came to look at the apartment with Manon. It wasn’t the biggest one he’d seen, nor the cheapest, but it had, well, other advantages, so to speak, so Lucas had been quick to co-sign the lease. If Manon suspected his reasons, she hadn’t said anything – but she had smiled when Lucas had come up with his fib.

Sadly, his fantasies of cooking together with his roommate, watching movies cuddled up on the couch, and slowly falling in love, had turned out to be a pipe dream. Eliott was mostly in his room. On occasions, he liked to blast dubstep. Lucas had soon figured out that the dubstep meant that Eliott was, uh, entertaining. The number of girls Lucas had walked in on early in the morning, before his first coffee, was staggering, and had quickly led to him putting up all his vague romantic ideas of his roommate.

But by the time Lucas was forced to come to the sad conclusion that the cutest boys were always straight, he’d already kinda committed to the story he’d told his friends, and so now he was stuck with it.

So every time he fantasized about another domestic moment of fluff with Eliott, he told himself it was for a good purpose. The girls were always bugging him for details about what he and his roommate were up to. They had declared them to be made for each other, and the discussions about their ship name were still in full vigor with no hint of them losing interest any time soon.

So Lucas provided.

He and Eliott had cooked pizza from scratch together, getting covered in flour, and accidentally setting off the smoke alarm because they were too busy making out to pay attention to the oven. Lucas ignored Emma’s eager question as to whether they had showered together to get rid of the flour dust.

Another time, he and Eliott had gone grocery shopping together, and Eliott had spun the cart on which Lucas had been standing so fast Lucas had fallen off, luckily into a pile of cardboard boxes. He’d still made Eliott kiss it better on each and every faint bruise as soon as they’d gotten home.

Or the time when they had held a Star Wars marathon, arguing about who was sexier, the young Han Solo or Dameron Poe, when Eliott had turned off the tv and complained Lucas was forcing him to compare a bunch of actors, when Eliott clearly had the sexiest boy of all in his arms.

The girls cooed at every concoction he fed them. In all honesty, it became hard for Lucas to remember none of this had actually happened – until the next scantily clad girl tiptoed through the hall on the way to the bathroom, bleary faced from the lack of sleep.

So after a few months of happy bliss, Lucas felt he had no choice but to break things off with Eliott. It became pretty painful to come up with lovey-dovey tales, and his fantasies were more and more often getting into… less family-friendly territory, which he wasn’t about to share with everybody.

His friends were a bit astonished at the news, and Lucas supposed it was weird, since he never even hinted at any trouble in paradise, but he shrugged it off, saying it was amicable, a joint decision, and he wasn’t even going to move out.

The downside was obviously that, after a few wonderful weeks of peace and quiet when everybody was coming around to the end of Lucas’ first relationship, Basile’s cousin came back into the picture.

Lucas tried to hold off, but he had no excuses left. And anyway, Eliott was playing dubstep almost every night, although Lucas hadn’t really encountered any pretty girls lately, and it grated Lucas’ nerves. It was time to admit he would never have Eliott, all his beautiful daydreams notwithstanding, so he might as well give somebody else a chance.

So he went out with Marc a few times. He was kind, and he had grey eyes, which Lucas recently discovered he had a thing for, so that was a plus. He was also a bit boring, and he tutted at Lucas disapprovingly when the latter tried to ride the bus without validating his ticket, but other than that, he was pretty okay.

And that’s how he found himself on the couch in his flat one evening. Marc and he had watched a movie – Lucas had nixed Marc’s suggestion of Star Wars vehemently – to the soft background music of dubstep coming out of Eliott’s room. It had been weird at first, but it had grounded Lucas somehow – Eliott was never going to be interested, and it was best if he remembered that and didn’t forget that Marc was here, and rather into him if the heated make-out session they were currently engaged in was to be believed.

Neither he nor Marc noticed the sudden appearance of Eliott in the living room, until the later coughed apologetically.

“Uh, sorry… I didn’t realize you had, uh, company, Lucas,” he stammered.

Lucas immediately let go of Marc, and blushed, then mentally berated himself. Eliott himself probably had a girl in his bed, so why would Lucas not be allowed to bring anybody over?

“Uh, y-yeah, no big deal,” he said, as soon as his vocal cords functioned again. “Uh, Marc, this is Eliott, my roommate. Eliott, this is Marc, my – uh…”

“Lucas’ boyfriend,” Marc cut in, a bit smugly. They’d never discussed their status, but Lucas supposed Marc had just made it clear where he was standing. He didn’t know how he felt about it.

Eliott stared at the two of them, his eyes wide. Lucas didn’t know what was going on.

“Uh, is this – is this a problem? We could go to my room, if you want…”

He hoped the problem wasn’t that he had brought home a boy. He realized he’d never talked with Eliott about his sexuality.

Eliott seemed to be slapped out of whatever daze he’d been in.

“Oh! Oh, no,” he quickly replied. “Please, it’s no problem at all. I’ll just… grab a drink and leave you guys, then… Bye, uh, Martin?”

“Marc,” Marc answered pleasantly, pulling Lucas close.

Lucas watched Eliott retreat into the kitchen – he whipped his eyes away as soon as he realized they were trained on the other boy’s ass in his tight jeans – and then returned his close-lipped smile when he passed them again on the way back to his room. The volume of the dubstep was turned on fractionally, and Marc wanted to continue the heavy petting, but somehow, Lucas wasn’t really into it, and though Marc clearly was angling for an invitation to spend the night, Lucas didn’t extend one.

He said goodnight to Marc, and went to his room. He sat still on his bed, his knees pulled up, his arms around himself, wondering how on earth he had gotten himself in this situation. Maybe he needed to move out anyway. It was clear his crush on Eliott, stupid and one-sided as it was, hadn’t died, and maybe it wouldn’t as long as he lived here.

A knock on the door brought him back into the here and now.

At his “Yes?”, the door opened, and Eliott stood right at the threshold, his hands wrung together.

“Uh, Lucas, I was wondering… Uhm, please don’t take this the wrong way, but, uh… I thought about earlier, and maybe, if it wouldn’t be too much of a hassle, I would indeed prefer it if you went to your room with your, uh, boyfriend in the future.”

The last words came out in a rush, and Lucas wondered if he heard them right.

“Excuse me?”, he uttered, painfully polite.

Eliott mumbled the same sentence as before, this time so low Lucas had to strain to hear it, but there was no doubt Eliott was actually saying what he thought he had been saying.

“Are you saying I can’t bring a guy over to my own flat, that I pay rent for, unless I go to my room with him? What the actual fuck?”

Eliott blushed.

“It’s just… You don’t have to, obviously, but maybe it would be easier for both of us…”

Lucas glared.

“Easier for both of us? How do you figure that, exactly?”

“I mean, you wouldn’t have to worry about me walking in on you…”

“I wouldn’t have to worry about that?” Lucas really was upset. Just because Eliott wasn’t interested in him, didn’t mean he had to be such a douchebag about other guys maybe being so. “Are you sure it’s not just about you? Your straight innocent eyes can’t handle two guys making out, is that it?”

A blush appeared on Eliott’s cheeks, and Lucas deflated. So Eliott was indeed uncomfortable with the idea. The moving out plan became more and more alluring by the minute.

It was silent for a long beat, and then Eliott spoke up, enunciating clearly.

“I’m not straight.”

“Huh? Don’t give me crap. I’ve seen most of your one-night stands. Very female, the lot of them.”

“Yeah, I know…” Eliott chuckled a bit self-deprecatingly. “I’m pan, though. I’ve been with guys too, just not…recently.”

In all honesty, the Lucas of a few months ago would have been elated to hear this. Right now, however, it was more a question of adding insult to injury. So Eliott was into other boys, just not into Lucas. It was this epiphany that drove him to bitterness.

“Yeah, well. At least girls have been doing it for you, then.”

“What? What do you mean?” Eliott sounded genuinely confused.

“All the dubstep. Have you even spent one night alone this month?”

When Eliott froze, Lucas almost wanted to take back his words. Eliott didn’t owe him any accountability.

“Uh, I’m sorry about the dubstep. I haven’t been seeing anybody for a while, but I… I kinda kept playing the music. I don’t know why.”

He was not looking at Lucas as he spoke, and he fiddled with the hem of his t-shirt.

“Oh. Well, it’s none of my business anyway, so, uh –”

“What if I wanted it to be?”

Silence.

“What?”

“What if I wanted it to be your business?”, Eliott repeated. He sounded unsure, but he stared straight at Lucas.

Lucas didn’t answer, sitting on his bed open-mouthed. What was Eliott trying to say? The other boy took a deep breath, and gingerly sat down next to Lucas, far enough not to touch him, but close enough to feel his warmth.

“I, uh, I brought over only girls recently because there was this one boy I was trying to get out of my head. And when that didn’t work, I didn’t want him to suspect anything so I kept playing music. It’s stupid, I know.”

Whoa. Lucas tried to unpack all of that in a logical manner, but he failed spectacularly.

“You played dubstep so I would think you had a girl over?”

Eliott nodded.

“And you brought only girls home because…”

“Because boys weren’t doing it for me, not when they weren’t you. Not that the girls were working out, either.”

There was honesty and vulnerability in his voice, and in his eyes.

“But why… why didn’t you just talk to me? You avoided me all the time… We hardly ever even spoke before now…”

“I know. I just, I crushed so hard on you, from the moment you came to see the flat. But I had no idea you were into guys… I thought the girl you were with was your girlfriend. You two seemed so affectionate.”

“Oh, uh, no, she’s one of my best friends, and an ex-roommate, actually. But I’m gay, so, uh…”

Eliott sighed.

“Yeah, I figured that out now. And it sucks, because maybe, if I had just made a move sooner… But it doesn’t matter. You have a boyfriend, and I’ll have to learn to live with that.”

Oh crap. Lucas had forgotten all about Marc.

“I wouldn’t call it that… We went out a couple of times… Mostly because it seems I was applying your tactic to try to get over a certain somebody I was crushing on… Somebody I too thought was straight, what with all the girls he was bringing home…”

He let his words die off, looking at Eliott.

It took him a few seconds, but then he turned towards Lucas, shifting slightly closer. Their legs touched, and it burned Lucas through Eliott’s jeans and his sweatpants.

“So, uh, if that guy promised not to bring over any girls anymore, could you be persuaded not to see Marc anymore?”

Lucas pretended to mull it over.

“Maybe if he also promised he won’t play dubstep if I ever end up in his bed, I think I could be, yes.”

Eliott laughed.

“I won’t have to play anything if we stay in your bed.”

And that sounded like a perfect compromise, so Lucas toppled Eliott and pressed their lips together.

[alenkorra]

Ok so I just finished watching the oh so controversial season 3 of the 100 and I have thoughts, not that anyone cares but anyway:

- overall I really enjoyed it, I'd say season 2 is still my favorite so far but choosing between 3 and 1 isn't easy.

- 3 had a lot of messy and frustrating things writing-wise, at least more than previous seasons, BUT the highs were amazing and more interesting/shocking/exciting than the best season 1 moments.

- now this is gonna be controversial but I'm surprised I hadn't heard much about Lincoln's death. I know Lexa was a fan favorite (which i don't understand but i'll get to that later) but her dying was the first thing I knew about this show back in 2016. I'm just surprised I managed to avoid spoilers about when he died and how he died even tho i already knew he died.

- and speaking of that, his death was kinda rushed... I mean it felt like he had so much potential and they killed him off too soon. i thought him and octavia were supposed to be the main couple of the show so i was disappointed and very sad :(

- ok so... lexa. wow what a letdown. don't get me wrong I loved her and I cried when she died and when she showed up in the finale too but *my god* is she overhyped. i've heard people say she's the best character in the show???? and clarke's true love??? and i'm like WHERE? because her relationship with clarke, while very beautiful, wasn't that great.

like clarke spent so little time with her so it's hard for me to believe she's the love of her life or something like that. it felt like just her second heartbreak after finn and nothing more. idk i just feel like people acted as if there could be no show without lexa but she wasn't even in a full season.

like i said, she's great and she is one of my faves actually, but by no means did she have enough development and screen time to become the best character in the show.

- ok so moving on, season 3 Clarke continued to be a beautifully tragic character and I just want to give her the warmest hug and tell her it's gonna be okay. I love her so much but I don't like that the show keeps trying to blame her for everything as if she ever wanted any of it. not her fault she's smart and capable and a natural leader and almost everyone else is incompetent.

also i love octavia and raven but they need to learn to shut up sometimes. for 2 people who aren't ever in leadership positions they sure judge clarke's decisions a lot. why don't they try being in charge for a change and see how easy it is? same goes for jasper god i couldn't stand him this season. i wouldn't have cared about him being angry over maya if he hadn't directed all that hate towards clarke and monty but not bellamy. like literally why do you give him a pass but constantly attack clarke?? make it make sense.

- this is already too long so i'm just gonna say i loved monty, raven, indra, kane, miller, bryan and harper this season and they were great! the miller/harper/bryan trio was unexpected but awesome. i love having supporting characters to get attached too so i can yell at my screen when they die :)

- lastly, i don't think bellamy's irredeemable. and yes, what he did was wrong. i don't agree with it and it even felt out of character. i find it hard to believe the bellamy i know would do that even if he was mourning and lashed out. to help kill 300 people in their sleep just felt waaaay too extreme. if you'd told me he killed a few and then stopped and regretted it or that he didn't know they were gonna massacre them all and that's why he gave them the guns, then i'd believe it.

but it is what it is and everyone's a mass murderer or a morally ambiguous traitor on this show so really there's very few people i'd say aren't redeemable.

[strixmoonwing]

Thoughts on Voltron Season 4

...Can’t say I’m really a fan of this season. Not to say I hated it, because it did have some really good moments such as:

-Matt finally returning and Pidge being such an adorable happy gremlin about it. The whole second episode focusing on her journey was very well done and probably the most well-written and strongest one of the season. Matt Holt is the badass, nerdy goofball that lots of the fandom (including myself) were hoping for. He even gets a moment every all of the paladin (including Lance which made my Latte heart giggle).

-The action scenes towards the end were cool.

-Some very well-done Allura and Lance moments towards the end. Like, really Klance is my top ship, but Allurance is becoming a fast second. I was really touched by their scene. 

-There were some darker scenes sprinkled throughout the season (Lotor killing Narti and the alien Pidge befriended dying in front of her) that were good in showing that the stakes are getting higher and emphasized on the wars taking more of an effect.

-Ends with big damn hint that Lotor is joining them. Really just because I wanna see the paladins actually see and interact with him since they’ve only really heard his voice.

-Allura was Keith a lot so if technically the Allurance moments could be counted as Klance as well.xP

So, as I said, there were some scenes I did enjoy, but here are my biggest cons of the season:

-KEITH. FUCKING. LEAVING. EPISODE. ONE. Seriously, dude, I apologize for every saying you had too much screentime in season 2. My biggest problem with this is that in previous seasons, mainly season 3, we don’t really see Keith taking that much interest in helping the Blades of Marmora. Hell, we see Lance and Hunk interact with the Blades more in season 3 than Keith did. So it just doesn’t feel right that he’s willing to risk to much of his family’s safety to go on Blade of Marmora missions. And I know that Keith doesn’t want to be Black Paladin and that’s also a big factor of him trying to distance himself so that Shiro can take charge. But that’s still a rather selfish way of thinking and would have got the paladins killed if the Black Lion hadn’t responded in time. It just sets Keith’s character back from the lessons he learned last season about taking account the lives of those around him before making going off on his plans. And by the end of the episode, it doesn’t really feel like he learned his lesson? I wish we could have seen his time with the Blades at least, maybe missing his team...his family...you know. Or at least have him a plot of trying to find out more about his mother while with the Blades! Overall, I wouldn’t have minded Keith leaving, if only for a much shorter time, but I think it was not handled well at all and set back his character from the growth he had last season.

-Shiro flying the Black Lion again so quickly. I don’t mind that it happened, but it plays into my problem with Keith this season, it felt rushed and I wished it had happened later. It felt like an excuse for Keith to feel guilt-free about leaving. 

-No more hints or clues about the Kuron project.

-Hunk and Lance’s development got shot out the airlock, especially Hunk. I literally had to fast-forward through the fart joke scenes because I was cringing too much. And it felt weird see Lance take charge a lot in season 3 and then have him pushed back into the background this season, and especially not have him have more of a reaction to Keith leaving after how close they got. Lance’s biggest development this season was his moment in inspiring Allura, which was wonderful and touching, but still felt like it wasn’t enough. Lance needs to be shown to be able to development and character without being a support to Keith or Allura. And come on, please, just give Hunk something. Please.

-Lotor and his plot felt a bit all over the place. In season 3, he seemed to have everything planned out and always on top of things. So, it felt kinda jarring to see everything suddenly falling apart for him and his generals.

-The Fucking Coalition shows. The Coalition shows went on for waaaay to long. I felt like one or two would be enough to showcase what they are doing, but the episode with Coran arranging all the shows, I had to fast forward through a lot. I’m sorry, but I felt alot of the the coalition show time could have been spent expanding on character development and plot...maybe showing how Keith was doing? 

-Keith’s almost sacrifice. BOY YOU THINK YOUR TINY ASS SHIP IS GOING TO BREAK A SHIELD THAT A THOUSAND LASERS AND CANNONS CAN’T?! THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN LANCE ISN’T THERE TO BE YOUR IMPULSE CONTROL, YOU IDIOT.

So overall, as much as there are moments I loved about this season, it still felt weak and all over the place compared to last season. Here’s hoping season 5 will be better.

[fragmentdesigns]

Where I’ve been and a request for you to join me.

So it’s been a while, well more then a while. But I make no apologies, I needed to step back a little over the last few months before total and utter burn out and I imagine I’m far from alone there.

A lovely commission I did recently, think I’ll be making more brooches in the future, it was fun to work on something so big!

I have really really really enjoyed the challenge of setting up my business, and I love love love making, but over the last 6 years or so I haven’t really taken a break. Honestly I think the last time I actually just took time out was in summer 2005, after my finals, the day after finals I got a temp job for a month I paid off credit card etc and once the job finished I retreated to my parents house for about a month. Just playing computer games and reading and avoiding anything else while I recovered from the giant stress ball I had become during my final year. I have a tendency to want to do everything, and to be doing something great and exciting while beating myself up because I’m not doing ten other things at the same time! And it felt like giving up to let go of that a bit. But I needed to!

So for the last few months I’ve been of course keeping up with orders, I need to pay the bills, but more so I get a little cranky and antsy if I go too long without making something! But I’ve stepped back on blogs, facebook, instagram etc, I’ve started (mostly) taking 2 day weekends, a luxury for us self employed! I’ve stopped beating myself up for the things I’m not doing, or well I’ve tried to stop beating myself up. I’m trying to do the things I want to do in my free time rather than what I think I should be doing. I HATE the word should!

I’ve gone for more walks and dug around in my garden  , it still looks like a bomb hit it but it is a bomb with some sunflowers and tomatoes so it makes me smile! I’ve been baking and cooking and enjoying good food, and stopping beating myself up about my weight, that can fall down the to do list, it’s not a priority…..although I did just struggle to write that and rewrite and delete it a few times! As I said work in progress!

A not insignificant part of the summer has been spent trying to get a good bee photo, still a work in progress but getting there! And enjoying trying!

I’ve not seen all that many friends and I am sorry about that, but I needed the space, I needed the time, constantly having things scheduled and leaving one thing to rush to another etc was just stressing me out and I wasn’t enjoying it. I saw a bunch of friends for the first time in ages last weekend and it was lovely, extra so since I allowed myself a nap afterwards rather then running off to do something else.

Anyway my reason for writing this is not just to catch you up on me, although for the people that know me personally this is why you haven’t seen me that much! My reason is that I’m sure I’m not the only person in this boat! We’re all too busy being busy to actually enjoy stuff and live a little! Being busy is like a status symbol nowadays and that’s kinda messed up!

I’ve been listening to Brene Browns work; very much recommend the audio book The Power of Vulnerability, and I think she’s hit the nail on the head when she says we’re living in a culture of never enough. And I for one want to try to break that! I’m not going to do it overnight, in fact I’ve been thinking about this blog post for ages and beating myself up about not writing it, so there is definitely work to do!

I think this quote sums it up nicely

I went to Empire LARP in July, very much out of my comfort zone wow did I feel vulnerable! But I enjoyed it! And lots of photos on my photography facebook page, http://ift.tt/2wBvnXx

“Worrying about scarcity is our culture’s version of post-traumatic stress. It happens when you’ve been through too much, and rather than coming together to heal (which requires vulnerability), we’re angry and scared and at each other’s throats.” -Brene Brown

So many of us are scared and angry, and too busy and tired to be able to step back and see it, so I’m trying, I’m sorry if I fail at times, especially to the poor hubby that has to live with me, but I’m trying. As she says we start our day thinking we didn’t get enough sleep and end it thinking we didn’t do enough. Isn’t that messed up? I’m not sure there ever is enough and it’s making me miserable to try to reach that goal!

  My people! Mammy, Daddy and hubby walking near Lake Como

So I’m going to continue my business, cause I love it! I love working for myself! I love making things! I really love getting emails and photos from happy customers, and knowing that people are wearing my work and especially with my wedding rings that my work represents something as amazing as love…I might be tearing up typing this don’t tell anyone. I honestly do love my job. And I love that I can say that……I may have used the word love a few too many times but I make no apologies the world needs more love! However I don’t love or need to be working in a hotel room on holiday in Lake Como, just staring at my phone when that beautiful world is out there! I don’t need to be stressing about instagram and facebook, I like using them, they can be fun, when they start being a cause of stress, I’m stepping back. I’m always going to meet my orders because as far as I’m concerned that’s a promise I’ve made to my customers and I don’t like breaking a promise, but I’m maybe not going to respond to your email at midnight, I’m pretty sure it can wait until the morning.

The insanely amazing view from our hotel balcony on Lake Como!

I’m going to spend waaaay more time snuggling up to my lovely hubby watching Studio Ghibli movies over and over, and Little Witch Academia which we’re totally hooked on at the moment and trying to pace ourselves watching! I’m going to rub my bunnies more, dig in my garden, go for walks with friends, eat really good food, stretch more, transition to minimalist shoes (more on that later) get outside more and just enjoy life more! More of I want to rather than I should, and it would be absolutely fantastic if anyone wants to join me in this! ….anyone? ….please? ….there’s strength in numbers!

  And new designs have happened and will be coming soon, here’s a sneak peak!

  from Where I’ve been and a request for you to join me.