#i speak very definitively but ik theres a lot i dont know

[mcytegg]

"to older lsers, trust isnt abt never disagreeing w ur friend or teammate" [immediate flashbacks to both zam and subz, separately, worrying that disagreeing with vitalasy's plan would already be betraying him]

thats exactly the point!! the REASON newer players like derap and kab have these unrealistic expectations of trust and what it means to be teammates is they havent had the multiple seasons of experience in lifesteal to find it out themselves like older players have. like yes that is how zam and subz felt back then but thats a result of both just who they were as people during s4 which impacted their view on what it means to be teammates. they both also got like mega traumatized by other people in that season as well which Led to them pushing their own feelings and opinions to the side in order to remain loyal until they broke.

it was after what they experienced in s4 that helped them better define what being teammates w someone means to THEM, and what it means to trust someone on the server bc working on the basis that u Need to agree w everything ur teammate says and does or else youre a traitor or a bad teammate only ended up hurting them, and putting them into terrible situations. like what derap is experiencing rn is exactly like s4 zam, aka who zam was before he started standing up for himself and realizing hes allowed to have his own thoughts and feelings and boundaries in his relationships. like the way derap hides his own desires and discards his own thoughts nd feelings on things In Favour of always agreeing w zam to make him happy is incredibly reminiscent of eclipse fed zam.

its a matter of growth and experience yet to be gained; the way trust is currently viewed on ls and the way teammate is defined is individual to each player BUT generally speaking most older lsers definition of them has grown to fall under the same general consensus of "someone you wont always agree with, but who you will stick by and return to in the end bc they are someone you can trust to be consistent in their actions and behaviours BECAUSE you have known them for so long"

[liverpool-enjoyer]

footballers as taylor swift songs

requested by my swiftie in Christ @yudgefudge!! thank you luv <3

leo: you're on your own, kid. ive been associating him w this song way before i knew that everyone else was doing the same lmao. it rlly does encompass his entire journey, from humble beginnings n jus being a little kid playing for fun (from sprinkler splashes/to fireplace ashes), to being the best in the world n all the struggles that come with it (i search the party.../just to learn that my dreams arent rare). the man gave his blood sweat n tears like hed be saved by a the "perfect kiss" which here is a metaphor for the wc obviously. n ohmygosh "everything you lose is a step you take"!!!! BRUH???!?!?! every line, from "i didnt chose this town (ie paris)/i dream of getting out/theres just one who could make me stay", to "the jokes werent funny, i took the money/my friends from home dont know what to say" are all SO leo coded.

ney: anti-hero. i ADORE him n theres a lot of people that like him. but theres also a lot of people who like not liking him. hes one of the best in the world, and as great as that is, he has, unjustifiably so, garnered a significant amount of haters (its me, hi, im the problem, its me/at tea time, everybody agrees). hes rlly endured a ton of it throughout the years, but keeps going (pierced through the heart/but never killed). after facing so much backlash, youd probly worry about the people that still support you and how much longer you can hold on to that (one day i'll watch as youre leaving/and life will lose all its meaning). also, hes a rich person. which makes the bridge pretty relatable for him but like in a funny way.

gavi: nothing new. this one is more based off my inner musings than actual like evidence. i have no idea whats going on this lil dudes head. but i know that IF i were in his position, i'd relate to this song a FUCK TON. its basically a song abt being in the spotlight, n being the shiny young thing that has peoples attention. but what happens when thats not true anymore? (Lord, what will become of me/once ive lost my novelty?) what happens in a few years when an even younger prodigy comes around n impresses everyone? (are we only biding time 'til i lose your attention?/and someone else lights up the room?/people love an ingénue). im not gonna write down the whole birdge but its basically abt the inevitably of meeting your replacement. the song basically asks: "will you still want me/when im nothing new?" he seems like a happy dude who probly doesnt think abt this stuff, but if i were a famous promising young soccer player, this stuff would definitely weigh on my mind.

muller: the story of us. Lord forgive my mullendowski heart. i tried to think of a song that would fit jus him n leave shipping out of it but,,, yeah it wasnt happening. in my mind theyre a package deal. anywho the song's about being around someone youre still in love with after youve broken up (now im standing alone in a crowded room/and we're not speaking and im dying to know/is it killing you like its killing me). ik theyre on good terms n all but in my mindbrain i imagine him them being in the same place for the first time since lewy left him bayern and poor thomas jus "nervously pulling at my clothes/and trying to look busy." and my gosh "but you held your pride like you shouldve held me"??? the AUDACITY. i can go off about this whole song tbh. oh n also even tho speak nows a country album this song is kinda,,, rock/punk-ish kinda??? which is to say, its very loud. much like a certain someone. fun fact i almost put seven for him bc of "before i learned civility/i used to scream ferociously/anytime i wanted" but i figured one line wasnt enough for me to put the whole song.

mbappe: evermore. this is a brooding song. a depression song. so i can definitely see this as a post 2022 world cup final song for him. it actually relates to a sports loss very well. (i used to listen to this song n think a oikawa from haikyuu,,, heh). if theres one thing abt mbappe its that hes dedicated. i can see him "replay(ing) my footsteps on each stepping stone/trying to find the one where i went wrong," yknow, jus thinking abt the final over n over. very "i rewind the tape but all it does is pause/on the very moment all was lost." but at the end of it all, hes young, hes talented, n has more world cups ahead of him. ie: "i had a feeling so peculiar/this pain wouldnt be for/evermore."

klopp: dear reader. this whole song is just advice. its taylor dishing out advice to her fans, most of whom are younger than her. kloppo loves his players, he wants to give them good advice that applies not only on the pitch, but off it as well. (dear reader/bend when you can, snap when you have to/dear reader/you dont have to answer, just cause they asked you) however its no secret that our lovely manager can be pretty hard on himself. so its possible that while he gives advice to those he loves, he feels like hes not worthy of giving it (you wouldnt take my word for it/if you knew who was talking).

again, everything stated is speculation, fueled entirely by my delusional lil mindbrain. as i dont know these ppl.

[msallurea]

hii ms allurea! i saw what you just posted and i just want to say, as someone’s who has asked you questions before, you always helped me so so much! i’m in a similar situation as you too, so i understand that feeling of wanting to give up on everything and on life. but i overcame these thoughts when someone told me that it’s just a solution to a problem that can be solved if i just keep going. it’s not that i didn’t want to live anymore, it’s i didn’t want to live that life forever, i didn’t want to live a life like that anymore, and so what i can do is just change and manifest, because nothing is permanent and NOTHING is written in stone. i know maybe not a lot of people thank you enough for the help you give to the loa community, but i want to thank you, i don’t know how many times i’ve had questions and tried to get answers but was told i had to pay for coaching, you didn’t, you answered and tried your best to help (which you did and i have an loa blog now too!!!) It’s completely okay to crash out and feel your emotions, i think sometimes it helped me more than just act like everything was okay 24/7, but you’re so so important to people, to your future, and to people you haven’t meet yet! so again thank you so much, i hope i helped a bit :)) feel better 💗

kisses <333

Thank you for the kind words. Tbh i dont really look for thanks here because as we can see theres plenty of loa blogs around on tumblr but i made this loa blog just to not feel alone as well as hoping that what i make reaches the right ppl at the right times when they need it most i dont expect much in return from it or even a thank u simply because i dont ever want anyone to feel the way i have all these years as well as suffer because ik when i wanted help i defibitely wished there was somewhere there before i got to this point. Everyone deserves a happy life and to be at peace I'll stand by that forever

And yes I feel very similar it's not that I want to die because trust if I did me with loa would've died a long time ago but you're 100% right about not wanting to live this kinda life anymore and thats exactly where I'm at with it that's always been where I was at with it and if death is an option to escape from living this kinda life I most definitely take it into consideration every single time. But yes you're right that all we can do is change and manifest since as you said nothing is permanent. However I would be lying to yall if I said that doing that, though is simple it isn't easy for others like me. But I get what you're saying.

I will continue to manifest though after all I didn't do all this for nothing but today definitely marks as kinda a countdown for me. I wanna still be there for those that care and love me but idk how much more of this I can take. It's similar to a generator going out and now you're on your last defenses. Ik that's not the best thing to say and I should speak more positively but as I mentioned in my post, I don't think anything is gonna change my mind on how I feel n knowing me once I make a decision on something it's very hard for me to turn back on it especially when it comes to my peace being involved. Not to scare or trigger u or anyone else, but personally this is just where I'm at with it.

But again thank you and I am happy my blog was able to help you in your journey, do have many more successes and blessings to come☺️

[diah-the-demon]

yeah the vibe is different </3 it now feels less like a personal chat and more like a personal chat in a public space but what else can we do when tumblr keeps being homophobic TT-TT

yeah I hope so too!! I'll bring it up to her soon as we still have Sci-fi cons which we regularly attend bcs I think that'd be cool!

and aaaw that sounds adorable!! The Sci-Fi cons that I visit always have lots of kids that age running around with their plastik lightsabers and usually clone wars masks of Anakin and Obi Wan and it's the cutest thing to watch them run around and play out their ideas

yeah she probably won't ksjdlsk it's just that we're both so used of someone bitching at us for buying even the most necessary shit so we gotta get used to that no longer happening slkjdlsk I'll probably bring it up to her soon, maybe tomorrow after uni! Hell I can even pay for it myself, I still have a lot of unused money from the past few cons since I barely bought smth aside from postcards / small prints

ksjdslk you're going to have the sickest bookshelf if that works out! and I hope it does skdjsl But yeah that sounds like a solid idea as to where to put them!!

ooh I think with the shows coming out there should definitely be a spike on tutorials for them!! Though I highly doubt there weren't some to begin with with Star Wars being such a huge franchise!! (and yeah I think that could probably be a solid start!!)

Yeah that's also always what I have noticed (it's probably also one of the most comfortable options ngl skldjsk) I think attaching them is going to be the most tricky part but I bet there are tricks to do so very easily!

yeah it feels way more out in the open, like speaking into a microphone instead of like just a casual conversation sat at a table in the corner of the room.. we could switch to discord or insta dms if we want it less open but idk, feels weird when its not on tumblr

ooo that sounds like fun! i need to try going to a sci-fi con, i know they have some in edinburgh occasionally throughout the year so il see if i can maybe go there eventually

it was!! it was so fucking fun, i remember around that age me and my sister would have lightsaber duels occasionally, too bad the sabers were bad quality so i accidently broke mine when i hit it too hard </3 thankfully it was after halloween so i still had the saber for halloween, just imagine like an 8 or 9 year old with a darth vader mask and red lightsaber walking down a dimly lit street dsjdsslkdj

i remember when i went trick or treating later that day i used my vader helmet (well its more like a mask tbh, its only the front half of vaders helmet lol) as a bucket to keep my sweets and candy in dlskjdslkjds

thats fair i cant rlly blame you or her, it will probably take a long time to get over that (i know the feeling cause my mother is like that sometimes, its so fucking annoying. she does it less to me now cause i have my own money but still)

i hope it goes well when you talk to her about it!! i doubt she wont let you buy it but wishing it goes well anyways!! if you dont do it tomorrow tho do keep in mind the sale is i think only lasting 1 more week? (or until everything sells out) so dont leave it too long slksjdlskd

IK ITS GONNA BE SO COOL, id say my bookshelf is already pretty cool because ive got 2 shelfs of books (one is mostly manga and star wars books, other is recipe books and other misc books) i could put them in 1 shelf but ive done it that way so theres space on the shelf next to the books, so i can put the helmets next to the books!! thinking about it now i can prob get 2 on the bookshelf and then the other 2 could go ontop of it maybe, idk il figure that out when i get them dsjlkds

Edit: heres a pic of said book shelf, forgot to mention the (fake) plant that hangs infront of my manga!!! skdjd Ignore the basket on the second shelf of books btw thats just where i keep my socks rn lmao (and random clothes in the shelf below too sldjslskssjk, im working on it so ignore that)

Anyways i could totally fit a helmet or 2 in here, one where the origami book is and one where the basket is, then the rest can go ontop of the bookcase idk lol

oh yeah its def gonna be trending, i saw one for storm trooper armour a few months ago, not mandalorian but tbh they are close (i mean storm trooper armour was based on the clones armour which was based on mandalorian so it is connected lmao) even if there isnt im pretty sure i could probably figure it out on my own if i had to

i think the way il have to attach it is maybe velcro? cause pins could fall out and if i try to put it back on it will be in a slightly different area probably, so what im thinking is having small velcro patches put onto the body suit and some on the armour pieces!! probably wont work out how it is in my head when i finally do it but i can atleast have ideas until then lol

[rotshop]

Heyo ✌🏻! ik know this request can be kinda wierd but...How would the madcom main trio + (anyone you'd like to add) react to a Half-dragon!reader who can actually transforms into a dragon when angry? thx! ~🦉anon

dw its not weird!!! /gen its a rlly neat idea and i am looking so intently,,,also i hope u dont mind i just went w/ tha main trio wyduesdc,,

theres a good title right here i promise

Hank

-this man is so so curious about you its insane. the amount of time you'll just be sitting down reading or watching something and he'll just. come up behind you and quietly ask permission before he jut like. traces your wings / horns really carefully

-he still wont ever like. FIGHT fight with you but he kinda likes to just see what you can do??? if you seem kinda clueless or lost in that field then he definitely tries to help (please consider ; his calloused hands over your own while he readjusts your grip on some weapon, the little pleased hum and quick compliment he gives when you get it right) you out. also if you ever kinda like. headbutt him or something bc of your horns during these he just laughs and its rlly nice :]

-messes with ur claws a lot too, whenever u guys hold hands its a guarantee that he's gonna fidget with them a little. he just thinks they are Neat. also he's like sheriff (/derogatory) in the way that he kinda blanks whenever he sees your sharp teeth. if you ever kind of. use them in fights against grunts or agents he just stares. it makes him go head empty no thoughts

-unfortunately it is VERY hard to carry him when flying so you don't really get that option unless ur pissed :[

-SPEAKING OF, whenever he sees you shift during missions or something he does his best to give you a little space so you don't have to worry abt accidentally hitting him. also he thinks you're fucking legendary with how you can rip and tear through enemies

-after the fights over tho he'll usually just kinda place his hands on either side of your face and lean his forehead against you to try and calm you back down

Deimos

-fire starter x fire starter what could go wrong!!! <33333 you breathe little huffs of smoke whenever you're upset and sometimes he'll just imitate you with his own smoke lmao

-also very very curious about all ur nonhuman features !! he likes messing with your wings a lot whenever you two cuddle and he'll just kinda. 'does this hurt / can you feel it???' as he messes w/ em. does the same thing with ur horns too (if urs are able to like. shed and regrow then mercy on him because he'll just be like. pulling on em a lil out of curiousity when its around shedding time and they'll just. snap off. you can see all the blood leave his face. IMMEDIATELY starts panicking and freaking out,,,pls reassure him you aren't in pain and that this is normal he's GOING To start crying if you dont)

-luckily for u!! it's a little easier for you to carry him around than with hank. really loves it when you do it even tho he was super scared at first you were gonna drop him. sometimes u'll just kinda be. flying home from a mission or sumn and he'll just fall asleep laying on ur back because he feels so at peace,,

-ur claws scare him a little bit tbh BUT,,he relates to the sharp teeth thing, you shake hands on it :] . but also he kind of. chuckles a little when you guys kiss sometimes because he's still not super used to someone other than him having sharp teeth like him

-n e ways!! whnever you shift he admittedly gets pretty nervous abt it,,he'll steer clear too just to be sure but the entire time he's fighting other agents his gaze keeps flicking over to you. he just!! really worries abt u :[ but also he is impressed by ur ability to turn agents to dust and stains in seconds it makes him go 'awooga' under his concerns lol

-whenever its over he always just come over to you and does that gentle little 'hey, hey' before holding ur face in his hands. most times it ends with you resting your head on his lap while he kinda. pets you and reassures you everythings alright and that ur both safe and fine until you feel properly calm enough to go back to ur normal form. he gets a little emo abt it because he genuinely does worry so much abt u pushing yourself too far or someone doing serious damage to you that you couldn't take if you were to shift back

Sanford

-he gets deimos' and sheriff's 'people who can crush me' thing a lot more after he meets you lol. like. at first you might not be super intimidating but after the first few times he sees you fight?? he's gone. done for. 110%.

-admires u all the time, you'll just be chilling or maybe you're talking to deimos about something and the entire time he's jut off to the side with a little smile on his face. if someone points it out to him he just kinda goes blank and gives some really weak excuse, awkwardly stuck between his normal tough facade and relaxing a little.

-you two are a fucking MENACE when you're put together on missions. you both clear through rooms way too fast its crazy, what the fuck is an agent supposed to do when some half-dragon is charging at it with bared teeth and claws while their boyfriend chokes out one of his co-workers while shooting another. what the fuck.

-also traces ur features a lot but he usually only really does it when he thinks ur asleep. he's a little too embarassed to ask if he can touch them when ur awake so he resigns to very carefully brushing his hands over your tail and horns. (if you have any scratches or dents in your horns though he totally asks about them and the stories behind em, he's just rlly curious abt you in general and like. who in their right mind would pass up an opportunity to hear abt their sick-ass dragon s/o about a possible fight they won???)

-but also he gets nervous whenever you shift too. he's afraid of you getting hurt or the possible emotional tolls that it has on you mentally and he brings it up to you sometime after the first few shifts he sees. he's just real concerned about you :[

-very similar to deimos in how he comforts you, he doesn't like leaving unless you've calmed back down, both because he wants to make sure there's no real wounds on you and because he doesn't wanna risk any other agents seeing you and trying their luck. if you're exhausted afterwards then he'll usually carry you, mumbles little words of assurance and praise to you while he does so

[wickedpact]

i feel like we’ve absolutely had this conversation before but i can’t be bothered to actually check if we have- but there’s So Much “nicky isn’t good with words” content (and like, i don’t completely hate it in uses of maybe aus where nicky hasn’t been alive for nearly 1,000 years) but the thing is is that canonically, we’ve seen nicky be scary good with words. like i will die on the nicolò “acts of service to show love” di genova hill. but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t know how to use his words!! he might not say as much but when he does speak there is a certain... weight behind his words? he says things with a purpose and a meaning. even if it may seem he’s saying something casually, there’s so much behind it??? but again, i’m just working with the movie as my source, and we only saw a very uhh?? brief bit of their lives so really we need a sequel to explore all this more. - 2ta

you 🤝 the same fucking braincell 🤝 me

when we were talking about nicky being both reserved and Not Reserved like.. idk a couple weeks ago i Almost made another post that i typed up at like 3 in the morning and then saved as a draft (bc it was three in the morning ofc)

i never posted it but it was like the same fucking thing you just said. like. nicky is not only good with words and good at expressing himself, but i also think of him as pretty social

like tldr

1. nicky is, like you said, Good at talking 2 ppl. Scary good. there are multiple instances through the movie of nicky shutting someone The Fuck Up via just talking to them a little. i mean in the train scene he gets andy (ANDY!!! stubborn andy!!) and book (BOOK!!! the guy who greatly benefits if they dont go after another immortal!!) to concede to his point abt nile after saying like 3 sentences to them. he strikes kozak speechless. he makes merrick run scared from his own lab. nickys GOOD with words and good at expressing himself and good at talking to people & good at making people agree with him, even if they wont admit it

2. i think its kind of pointed that in the scene where he says hello to the little girl in s. sudan, hes in the back of the group? like, we’re shown andy, book, and joe all passing the sudanese people without saying a word. nicky is the only one who greets them, despite the fact that it wouldve been hardly rude to not to.

so hes not only good with words, but hes also social. he says hi to strangers he passes in the street. tho a lot of interpretations of joe and nicky have joe being the social one and nicky being the introverted/awkward/shy one, i actually think of nicky as the more social between the two, and honestly maybe even the most social of the group. book and andy dont exactly strike me as gushing extroverts

altho i have to admit i think of them all at least slightly extroverted (i mean joe at least was a merchant. theres no way he could be Bad with people). i just think of nicky as just a little Bit More social

like. consider a diagram i made like 3 weeks ago

theyre both social. nickys just. a little more.

3. ik weve all talked endlessly abt nicky being a priest but like... being a priest is a social job. idk how Priesthood(TM) has changed between now and the 1000s but i doubt that particular facet has changed. priests are involved in their community. the whole point of being a priest is talking to people. i assume nicky chose to be a priest, thus his chosen career was a social one that involves talking to people as a core aspect.

& i agree that its definitely up in the air regarding whether younger nicky/ au nicky would be social/good at expression or not. However it always feels silly when joe is like.. the same exact guy circa 1100 as he is in 2020 but nicky is radically different in terms of how he expresses himself and his social habits. same goes for aus.

i mean. at the end of the day, im not the fandom police, and i dont ever wanna give off the impression that im like.. trying to tell fic authors what to write bc i get thats annoying as hell.

(and i mean i get it. nicky talks softly, doesnt have Marwan Kenzari’s Expressive Eyebrows, and is shown to be a bit of a bookworm. shy/introvert!nicky is a easy conclusion 2 come to. i simply Dont agree with it)

[gayspock]

OK assorted black sails thoughts bc i didnt wanna make a billion individual posts

- first of all i find starz funny bc for real i swear ive never freaking heard of it before, except for torchwood: miracle day which.... literally i never finished but thats a whole ramble for another time (bc despite torchwood being VERY bumpy, i found a lot of value in it, but miracle day was just. give us nothing! to me...help)

- the women on the show are kind of a shame i mean. im not fuming its more of a (dejected sighhhh) lies back do you know what i mean bc its hardly worse than anything else but help... theyre all gorgeous models thus far do you know what i mean. i dont know. i think its just odd sometimes to look at it when the men are all fucking foul looking, mucky type of guys (<3!) and then the girlies are just like hiii<3 like okay LOL. max is rlly pretty tho (as is the lass in the hat- whose name i didnt atch..) so i shant be mad but its also likehelp... even just an OLDER? woman. not even one? sniffy sniffy? okayyy i'll settle

- the gentleman do have some wonderful haircuts i will say. rackham's stoner transmasc that hangs about in unique trousers round the back of spoons.... i mentioned it already but help. your rat tail... and flints pathetic and limp little ponytail. shrimptastic it is.... and johnny silver. (twirls his hair for him)

- INTRO ALSO FUCKS LIKE MAD BTW.

- i love a woman with daddy issues. i cant relate to any of them. not to eleanor, or to shiv or helena or any of the fine women with father problems despite having many of my own. but its very fun to watch them. like girlies (twirls my hair) just give him a slap.... who cares<3

- btw im screaming... john is sooo funny. what a silly little guy. i think hes going to get himself killed he is like a looney tunes character who should have been dead 5 scenes ago but he keeps defying all sense and falling pianos. the very definition of a rapscallion. he is a problem to us all

- whent hey just state their names and theit ships at each other. okay so cute girlies i bet you'd write that in your tinder bios huh<3?

- also i know i keep mocking and also fawning over flints stupid little ponytail but i think he for real deserves long gorgeous beautiful hair. like it would only make sense.

- theres so many guys in here from other things but only a little bit. i know i mentioned billy bones (SO FUNNY STILL) who keeeepsss following me but everyone else is sorta recogniseable. charles was in the 100 ik this. but like hi eeryone hii LOL

- "however what?" "however let me tell you a story. about a spaniard named vazquez." I THINK FLINT LITERALLY SAYS THIS HENEVER ANYHTING AWKWARD HAPPENS TO HIM. I THINK HE LITERALLY DROPS AND SMASHES A PLATE IN IKEA AND THEY COME OVER TO HIM AND HE JUST SAYS LET ME TELL YOU A STORY. I THINK THEY CATCH HIM NICKING 5P BAGS FROM TESCO AND HES LIKE HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT A GENTLEMAN VAZQUEZ. I THINK, PERHAPS, FLINT WOUL HIT SOMEONE WITH A CAR UNDER THE INFLUENCE. AND SIMPLY SAY THE URCA DE LIMA.............. IT WILL PAY FOR YOUR INSURANCE. GOD.

- also i dont know treausre island that well . do you guys think itd be worth a read at some point. not even wrt the show here just idk ik these guys are those guys <3

- i will say also tho btw. u know that reminds me of. i love it when ppl get rlly mad abt, like, funny re-imaginings of old stories, myth and folklore like this. SORRY. JUST SAYING. i remember of all the issues there were bbc merlin, ppl fucking fuming bc it disgraces arthurian legend. girlie i dont think colin morgan made patheitc little fuck me eyes for 5 seasons for authenticity.

- speaking of. sir percival billy bones is so funny. its like theyre keeping him around just to take the piss of their big strapping guy arent they.

- i also love gates. one like to slap his bald head

- ANNE? IS THAT HER NAME? I WANT HER CREEPY CRAWLY PUSSY SO BADLY. i realise thats her name. i think. shes also like... insanely fucking hot. im like obsessed with her a bit. its the hat. and the voice. i would not give a shit otherwise- i do admit.

- ALSO: THE SEX WORKERS AT THIS PORT ARE LITERALLY THE ONLY PEOPLE WITH ANY FUCKING COMPETENCE.

- I KNOW I KEEP GOINGON ABTO HIS HAIR BUT T. THE VERY DEFINITION OF T BOY SWAG I TBHINK IM ABOUT TO PUKE

- NO WAY NO WAYYYY HE STINKS OF WEED SO BAD

- RIGHT UH- this is one of the issues of just putting uncollected thoughts into a post like this, ehrm. im approaching the scene i was warned about

- i had a feeling.... with vane. i was worried he was going to force himself on eleanor after the warnings- because certainly, his character is portrayed in a particular way thus far, to the point where it was like... well had i not been warned, i wouldnt think it, but yeah. ehrm. i guessed.. him - or at least, he would have sth to do with it, as he has here- but god. i forgot about max and i was just thinking: they wouldnt let her go, surely that makes no sense with how early we are into the show, unless its one of THOSE shows where characters are brought in and out like theres a fucking rotating door, with no rhyme or reason- but no ehrm.. yeah. :(

- and now jesus. eleanor girlie i know he ha slong hair but jesus dont just mount him cmon... cmon!!

- sighhh... ok!! end of ep 3. really sombre way to end but <3 there we go... I'LL drop this now. idk if i'll watch more tonight orrrr wht! :3 love and light

[pliskin]

im gonna talk about some doomvega stuff idk where else to post it 

slayer hc

I like selective mute slayer the most... nonverbal communication most of the time, his body language/expression vega gradually eases into learning, then for longform communication its typing into vega’s console, morse code into vega’s palm (<3) or sign language.  the few times he speaks is very curt and short, maybe just quick affirmation from vega for whatever (kisses <3) and the gayest reason of all... so he can say vega’s name tenderly 

lots of hobbies, which is more or less canon, but it's cute to think about... particularly his cooking magazines make me think he would be a good cook in a umm domestic au... but I like that he enjoys many creative things also like reading/writing/music, in addition to a scientific/engineering bg, hes kind of like... full package husband material

I dont have a ton of slayer hcs... I think hes mostly introverted, more into his hobbies, cultured... I think my only self-indulgent not canon compliant hc is he gets embarrassed easy and pretty expressive but has rbf.  hes like the shy boyfriend in the “excuse me he said no pickle” meme with vega

vega hc

vega for drawing purposes I like to make an android, tho in a fic im more inclined to regular AI vega especially in character studies and introspective writing... there's something a lot more poignant about vega reminiscing about almost being shut down while not assuming any kind of physical form... idk im just talking about what I like on a scale bc I love tons of vega interpretation

android vega:  I like to imagine an android body was created for vega per samuel’s instruction a little bit after vega became operational... kind of like a flex to match with uac creating the first cyborg body as well.  since samuel is a bit of a dick to his dad he doesnt make him w maykr proportions in mind and instead vega is given a very average human male body: about six feet tall, gentle (fatherly -_-) disposition, dark hair and brown skin, unnatural blue eyes... I think this would be good for vega to “blend” into the personnel, build camaraderie w him, though I think samuel would pull the plug on it in the long run for reasons my brain can’t put together atm lol.  this kind of self-indulgent but I like vega’s “virtual age” being 50 bc he’s samuel’s dad, and I like vega w a completely average body but thin waist like a maykr... which is a subconscious decision by samuel bc hes more accustomed to makyr bodies... but I am also just a bastard that wants thin waist dilf vega

this is maybe a reach of the fortress’s resources but I think the slayer could manage to build the same body for vega he had on the base if vega gave him the materials and instructions for it... just like a project, nothing exactly urgent, vega’s body slowly being worked on until completion.  but then... the slayer finds himself a bit attached because vega is like 100x more pleasant and soothing when he can see vega smiling at him.  im corny

I also like vega being a bit catty and passive-aggressive, but in his customer service voice.  he’s definitely not a doormat as an AI, and hes a lot more direct as umm god.  god vega I like aesthetically (SO MUCH) but I think I will hold back on my interpretation till ancient gods.  even his visual design I know will be probably significantly different from that 6-wing maykr angel concept art (if hes shown at all) but I like the aesthetic of it and will probably keep that if no canon physical body for vega is shown...

doomvega hc

very slow burn... mostly on vega’s part, but I like the almost innate way the slayer is more friendly/gentle with vega and his upgrade bots, so I think the slayer is sweet on vega

vega wondering about why the slayer chose to back him up is always a fave... and ik its not the exact reason for why dg is back in urdak but I like thinking about him going back for vega or at least I hope they make it a point in the dlc that dg is looking for vega amidst all the chaos... it would really cement their relationship together and would be so good for vega as not being seen as a tool to be thrown away (god stuff aside).  like he’s the slayer’s partner and not just an assistant or something like that

its canon that the slayer has ptsd so I think vega (in an android/robot body) can help him through episodes/nightmares... and this is pretty corny and self-indulgent but I think vega’s touch calms him bc of like... god reasons... and vega is not really sure why it feels so right to hold the slayer and comfort him but its god reasons

slayer also likes to hold android vega and his arms wrap around him easy, and vega is flush against his chest (<3) I like to imagine this after some kind of... very heartfelt “thank you” or confession from vega.  I also really like the idea of vega confessing his feelings first I think because he would have to also deal with thinking his “feelings” are real or not since he’s AI and not human and all of those schlocky sci-fi romance tropes

then theres the slayer x father vega dynamic im speculating a little about but want to wait till ancient gods to see... it seems like the slayer is vega’s right hand this time which is so exciting for them... it adds so much more versatility to their dynamic 

this got too long already I just wanted to contextualize some of my art... I want to add more later though.  anyway I love them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  theyre good

[vancalox]

A-Z HEADCANONS // DUNCAN THEIRIN

i was tagged by @nordxz thanks so much tash !! i'm gonna answer this for duncan, my babey and the next gen son of alistair and ella cousland 😊😚😘

i snappped while answering these and accidentally wrote 6 pages and almost 4k words so uh. loooooong infodump ahead.

Alignment: What would be their D&D alignment? How might it come into play?

duncan very easily falls into the lawful neutral category, like i dont rly need to give his alignment too much thought unlike with some of my other ocs. duncan is.....hmm. hes a very KIND person, generous and selfless, and tries his best to make people happy, but i wouldn’t necessarily say he's good, considering a lot his issues lie with his inability to act, or stand up to others. he’s guilty of very blindly following the law, or other people's ideas of what's right, and he doesn't really feel confident enough to rely on his own conscience for most things. so i'd say while he tries to do the right thing and act within the law, sometimes he goes against his own values out of fear or confusion or, simply out of ignorance, since he was born into a life of privilege and can't always distinguish what's right and what’s believed ykno

Beverage: What do they most like to drink, and why?

duncan shares a weird trait with both his brother and sister where they all just inexplicably ?? don't like alcohol at all. so stuff like wine and liquors is off the table. he absolutely LOVES tea though. u know that one scene in scott pilgrim where the gal is going thru her list of like 72 teas? thats him 100%. it's his lifeblood at this point, he has SO much of it and a perk of being the heir to a monarchy means he's got a lot of foreign merchant acquaintances, so he tends to order in different blends from all over. he's a chronic insomniac, and he uses it as a crutch to get through the days some times. modern!duncan still loves tea but obviously has a stronger love for coffee, since its far more effective!

Co-Habitat: Do they live with anyone? What’s “need to know” before moving in?

duncan currently lives in the residential dorms of the college of enchanters, while he's sort of aimlessly studying a bunch of subjects he's already mostly adept at. firstly, duncan is VERY sick lol, he was conceived while ella and alistair still hadn't found the cure for the joining, and essentially he inherited both of their darkspawn taint so 🙂🙂🙂 thats always a good time. so anyone who lives with him needs to prepare for 1) him being sick obviously,, throwing up, coughing up blood, looking like a corpse virtually 23 hours of the day lol. and obviously the fear that one day he might actually die. but also 2) he suffers from grey warden nightmares for the same reasons, hence the insomnia. he can go a concerning number of days without sleeping and usually only takes strategic cat naps when he needs to, but obviously he has his limits. it's very rare that he goes a full night without waking up in a cold sweat due to nightmares so. we stan one depressed king ! oh he also is Incapable of locking the door to his apartment. he always forgets and hes too tired to care about people stealing his stuff fkdkdjdjd he would probably make more of an effort if he had someone living with him, but old habits die hard so !!!!!!

Decor: What kind of home do they keep? Are there any defining details?

honestly , duncan's house is very devoid of clutter or personal items in general, which is sad. he definitely would have a lot of decor if he could, but since his current housing is only temporary while he's in orlais, he doesn't really want to get... comfortable ykno. other than that, duncan's home is always kept impeccably neat and clean, for two reasons. firstly, growing up in denerim's palace really engrained into his head the importance of keeping up appearances, so its sort of a subconscious ritual of his at this point. but i think more importantly its because of all the nights when he cant sleep, so during the night with nothing to keep him from dwelling on his thoughts or nightmares, he really needs the distraction, and cleaning gives him something to do. duncan really needs to feel like he's doing something, like he's managing, like he's able to achieve something so cleaning is just one little way of taking ownership of his life.

Escape: What do they do to de-stress? How successful is it?

nsfw warning but uhhh..... he has a LOT of sex basically dkdkdksk u wouldn’t know it by looking at him tho ! bc hes very polite and nervous and kinda shy?? but hes also charming and obviously attractive so he doesnt really lack for interested parties. mainly he just sticks to one night stands, with no strings attached, and it helps him take his mind off things when hes exhausted or its late at night and hes afraid to go to sleep. otherwise he also has had some friends with benefits but usually his personal life is too complicated for a serious relationship. aside from that, he also reads a LOT, writes too – when he has the time/energy – and obviously cuddling sessions with his cat, moira dkdkdk

Fluff: What hits their soft spot? Does anything turn them into emotional goo?

so ik above i said that duncan doesnt do serious relationships but thats,, not through any will of his own. he LOVES love and is a complete hopeless romantic , but unfortunately for a number of reasons he's just very unlucky at love ! 😔 so having an emotional, intimate connection with someone that isnt just sex is super healing for him, since he's not used to it at all. being with nadaia is such a positive thing for him, just knowing that his feelings are reciprocated and that he's valued and wanted.

Grudge: How bad does an insult go over? Do they hold a grudge long?

i think it depends on who its directed at !! duncan usually ignores any insults directed at him because he's grown up being so scrutinized by the public and for the most part, fereldens are very weary of him so he hears A LOT. most of criticisms about him he just.. automatically accepts as fact and really buys into them, bc he has such low self esteem. but as for other people, and ESPECIALLY loved ones thats a very different story!! he's not exactly the type to start throwing punches if anyone says a bad word against someone he cares about, but he WILL personally see to it in his own sneaky way that they get whats coming to them dkdkkdjd usually he'll either find a way to expose their dirty laundry, embarrass them in public, prevent a promotion, something like that lol. this goes double if the insult is directed at nadaia or his family.

Hobby: What’s something they do for fun that might be surprising?

ive already mentioned that he's an avid reader and he likes to write occasionally, but he's also a talented musician! He can play harp and lute, and has a beautiful singing voice ! tho he never EVER sings in public and u have to be like,, a ride or die for him to even consider singing in front of u.

Insomnia: What’s their sleeping schedule like? Snorer? Sound sleeper?

well like i said he's an insomniac so sleep rly is a vague, barely recognised concept to him at the point dksksksk he also experiences sleep paralysis during especially bad nightmares, honestly he rly hit the misery jackpot and i feel so bad like hes indisputably my most tormented oc 🙃🙃🙃 so yea hehe doesnt really thrash around during nightmares but he sweats A LOT and sometimes talks in his sleep. during sleep paraylsis obviouslyy he goes COMPLETELY rigid and still which is terrifying for everyone involved lol. on the rare occasion that he is able to sleep he is out like a light lol he would sleep for 17 hours if he could. in saying that because he is also a Strategic Napper he is usually comfortable falling asleep ANYWHERE, because hes so tired comfort really isnt a concern lol.

Jaded: Do they buy into the “happily ever after” ideal? What’s their standard?

no he doesn't unfortunately 😔 or at least i should say he doesn't believe in it for himself - he's pretty convinced that he won't live til 30 and he's existing on borrowed time as it is, so he hasn't really put a lot of thought into his own happiness or the pursuit of his own goals because he doesn't believe he'll be around to see them realized

Kin: What’s their role among their relations? Do they consider others family?

duncan is the firstborn son of king!alistair and ella cousland, my canon warden. he's also the eldest brother to roslyn and bryce theirin. he's also, obviously , the half brother of keiran, tho none of the theirin kids are aware of that oof. his role, officially, is to become king when his parents eventually pass. its NOT something he wants, due to being so sick and unsure of himself. despite what his parents tell him, he doesnt believe he will make a good king and is really terrified of the notion in general, i guess a little like alistair was in dao. duncan kinda,,, avoids his duties, to the point where he literally LEAVES to live and study in orlais. he still does what he needs to do, keeps in correspondence with people he needs to, but its all bare minimum stuff because hes just. so afraid of it lol. he has a mostly good relationship with his family, despite that – theres some resentment between him and his sister, rose, but thats a whole entire story we dont have time for dkdkskdk

Law: What do they think about abiding rules? Are they selective about it?

like i said before he's pretty adherent to the rules and laws of society tho i do see that as more of a flaw than anything. he doesnt really feel comfortable stepping outside the norm and tends to accept that other people know best ! even if he disagrees he's usually too unsure of himself to speak up. that does change quite a bit once he and nadaia grow closer, since SHE is big on bending ridiculous or unjust rules, but he's always gonna be a bit of a follower i think 😒

Magic: In a magic series or not, are they accepting, or is each instance a shock?

he's accepting!! he's a mage so it would be wild of him if he didnt lmao. during his childhood/adolesence he was kinda harsh on himself and had a lot of internalized guilt for being a mage, bc this was obviously still fresh after the mage rebellions. he resented his own abilities and just wanted to be normal, but that was also him projecting a lot of his other problems as well. he had amazing teachers who helped him come to terms with his abilities, and the best of all was my inquisitor, ashara, who is kind of like a very distant, scary aunt who always had a soft spot for him. she helped him – and alistair and ella – RIGHT after they discovered he was a mage, and she was really the biggest role model in his life when it came to magic. duncan has always looked up to her skill and control and confidence, and tried very hard to match that.

Network: Are they connected to the people? How much do they reach out to others?

duncan has an ARMY of acquaintances and connections due to his family, but doesn't really have a lot of people he considers his close friends. he's super friendly and he gets along with most people, but like ive said before serious relationships including friendships are always a bit complicated for him bc of who he is as a person lol. as for reaching out, he's a very independent, introverted person and so he tends not to seek out other people unless he's close to them or has no other choice. he's very self conscious about being a burden on people or being to “needy" so he holds himself back and sometimes comes across as a little cold.

Offspring: What kind of parent would they be? Would they prefer one, or multiple?

he.... probably can't physically have kids unfortunately due to his condition, and as a result he's never really wanted to think too much about it, or imagine a scenario that he believes he cant have. but if it WERE a possibility, or if he felt stable in his own life enough to adopt, he'd probably be comfortable with just one child to completely spoil. he would be such a good father, albiet maybe not the coolest dad ddkdkdks i think nadaia would be the one who got up to the crazy shenanigans and let her child get away with everything, and duncan would be more of the nurturing, responsible one. he'd be a MASTER at telling bedtime stories, would kick ass at homework assistance, and would sing his kid to sleep every single night (until they got too old for it obviously). ooooo im so IMMENSELY emo abt this au now that i think about it

Pistol: Is this character skilled with a weapon? What’s their opinion of violence?

duncan is a very non-violent person, but he does believe that sometimes violence is necessary and will BE violent if he needs to – only in self defence scenarios though. he's an adept mage, and very skilled with a staff, but he isn't a fighter, really – more of a defensive, protective figure.

Question: How often do they feel doubt? What topics are they defensive about?

oh the doubt is constant with him 🙃🙃 he has a lot of deep routed dread about his own morality and whether or not he's a good person or if the maker will accept him when he dies. he's andrastian but TERRIFIED of the notion that its all actually real, bc then he doesnt know where that leaves him. he has this weird existential dichotomy where he doesnt know if hes closer resembling a grey warden or a darkspawn bc of his tainted blood. he also doubts his abilities and his magic bc he's afraid that the taint just,, makes him inherently a corrupted thing. he doubts himself on a more basic level with like, being a good brother, a good son, a good king when the time comes. he wants to be a good student and partner but sometimes his health makes him feel like he cant, and it weighs on him so heavily, almost all the time. basically he needs a hug so badly its not funny 😔😔😔

Reminder: How are they at remembering daily needs? What falls through the cracks?

uhh its very selective !!! for the most part he's very good at taking care of himself, mostly because he NEEDS to otherwise his health gets out of control, but sometimes he tends to prioritize one set of needs above another,, which usually means not sleeping (the most common), forgetting to eat, not letting his loved ones know when he's having a poor health day which usually results in him getting really sick and nobody is around to help him. he also forgets to do certain things like lock up his house, buy foodstuffs, reply to peoples letters n stuff like that.

Sing: Do they like music? Do they listen often/sing/hum/play songs in their head?

yes and yes !! duncan loves music altho its a very personal and private thing for him. he's pretty naturally gifted with music and gets it from ella, who taught him a lot of what he knows. he has a gorgeous singing voice (i kinda hc something similar to dan smith’s vocals from bastille!) that he rarely uses bc he only ever sings when he's alone or if he's forced to by a nosy loved one or something lol

Touch: How do they handle contact? Is their personal bubble big?

duncan doesn't mind being touched !!! in fact in most situations he welcomes it, as long as its like,,, appropriate and not some random stranger obviously. he grew up with ella and alistair who obviously are VERY affectionate people so he loves giving and receiving hugs from friends and he doesnt flinch or feel weird about just? random natural touches or anything. his ~love language~ is also physical touch so he LIVES for cuddling with nadaia and holding hands and anything like that. however !!! his little sister rose HATES being touched by virtually anybody and in any capacity, so he's very aware that not everybody is okay with touch, and is always careful and considerate of other peoples boundaries. he usually waits for the other person to make the first move, or simply asks them first !

Upcoming: How much do they think of the future? Do they make long-term plans?

he doesn't at all 😔 i mentioned this before but he doesn't see himself living very long, and its really impacted his outlook on life. he is afraid to commit to a lot of things, even if its something he really, truly wants, because he doesn't want to get his hopes up for things. it also keeps him from forging positive relationships. a lot of it has to do with him just being overly polite, but he refuses to make the first move with anything, or communicate what HE wants out of something. for example, his relationship with nadaia could have progressed so much faster if he had just,,, told her what he wanted. she had to make a lot of the first moves in the relationship because he just,, doesnt know how to take chances i guess !!! we love a Deeply Flawed king

Vice: What bad habits do they have? Is there something they would be ashamed of?

Some harmless ones are ; him talking to his cat constantly dkdskd also he has very poor time management skills so he's almost always a few minutes late, forgetting to lock his stuff up, and slouching, probably !!! some more serious ones would be like,, having sex with strangers as a coping mechanism lol, not speaking his mind and instead just letting himself be a doormat, also INTENSE avoidance of his problems (moving away to orlais for 9 years to avoid his fear of being king for example 🙃) tho i guess they fall under the same category oof.

Wardrobe: What’s their fashion style? Do they have any staple pieces?

duncan dresses nice, for the most part !!! again, it's mostly to do with growing up in court and having to keep up appearances, but also hes just. a nice bisexual boy who wants to take care of himself ykno, and that includes hygiene/clothing/grooming etc ! he's maybe a bit TOO reserved tho, he mostly wears dark colours like blacks, greys and brows, but hes been known to wears reds/blues/whites as well, and there’s a lot of subtle yet beautiful details on his more formal attire that might go unnoticed by a casual eye. a lot of his clothes are specifically tailored but he's also fond of big oversized sweaters for when hes just hanging out ! he's got a not great relationship with his body lol so he usually dresses very conservatively, with long sleeves and pants and usually more than one layer, but hes also a thot so !!! pants be TIGHT dksksksks

X-Ray: How’s their health? Any problem areas? Do they take care of themselves?

Djdjdksksndjddjkekdidksjs OKAY WELL if u have read this far than obviously u kno the answer to this question. if ur just skimming tho first of all ur valid ! second of all duncan is VERY sick. he was conceived when ella and alistair where still searching for the joining cur, so basically he inherited the darkspawn taint x 2 and nearly died a bunch of times as a baby/young child. obviously idk how the cure storyline is gonna resolve but my hc is that bc the darkspawn taint is something he was BORN with, not just something that happened to him via ritual, his body is much more impacted by it so even if they are able to find a cure, it wouldnt work THAT well and his health would still suffer bc of the prolonged damage. so physically, he deals with a LOT – intense migraines, insomnia, nausea, fatigue, problems with breathing and fevers and stuff. obviously mentally hes.... not doing great either, tho he’s trying his best. sometimes his insomnia gets so bad he starts hallucinating visions from his darkspawn nightmares, and sometimes he just feel paranoid in general that he's actually an Evil Darkspawn and hes just somehow managed to convince everyone hes a normal person – sort of a weird blend of imposter syndrome and body dysmorphia its. complicated. anyway he has very low self esteem and tends to think hes a huge inconvenience to everybody, and when he was a teenager he went thru a period where he was very suicidal, and ANGRY and afraid 😔 he’s doing better though, now that he has learnt how to manage most of his symptoms and he's not suffering in denerim court. nadaia is also a huge help, though he tries not to become too heavily reliant on her, since he's had bad experiences with depending too much on other people.

Yack: What’s their favorite thing to talk about? What do they go on about?

skskdkdk im already crying hehe 🙂 duncan is so introverted and self conscious of being “Too Much" for other people so he tends to keep his thoughts/interests to himself and stick w just. boring small tall or non invasive questions relating to the other person. BUT if u show an interest and he trusts u then oh boy. hes an absolute dork. he loves talking about magic and having really intense conversations abt the technical sides of it (he and dorian would get along SO well) but he also loves history !!!! before he began studying at the college of enchanters he received multiple ??? qualifications?? (idk if thats the right term but u kno) from the university of orlais, one of them being orlesian and ferelden history. also anything to do with the grey wardens, the blights and darkspawn for personal reasons obviously. He's a VERY good storyteller so he somehow finds a way to make even the dryest topics seem very compelling and Cool – varric would be proud !! he finds the orlesian Great Game fascinating, and he enjoys sharing wild anecdotes about the things he's seen asshole nobles get up to. thats always thrilling skdksksk ALSO. He has a secret interest in necromancy and the mortalitasi (its only a secret bc hes the heir and that wouldnt look ... great lol ) but he only ever really talks about that with nadaia, who finds that stuff almost as interesting as he does. also, finally, he loves talking about nadaia 😊😊😊😊 hes the type of guy who will always namedrop “my girlfriend" into any conversation, loves telling people about her accomplishments and how Cool she is ..... he loves her a Lot is what im getting at sksksks

Zodiac: What’s their astro sign? Does it fit? What would you pick, if it’s unknown?

duncan is a pisces babey like his mother !!! tho he could also be a virgo but,,, i think for now pisces works better for him. he's very smart and introspective and creative, but he has some issues with critical thoughts, avoidance and melancholy like ive mentioned. also pisces is a water element so i guess that makes even more sense, since hes an ice mage 👌👌👌

okay !!! im done !!! i cant believe i wrote all that but i guess if u didnt know abt duncan before, u absolutely do now dksksks im so sorry to anyone who actually read thru all of this, u really are braver than the troops

[all-at-once-you-are-the-one]

Stream of Consciousness Lover Album Reaction

I wrote out my first thoughts while listening to the album and put them in one big post. I hope you find them as funny as I do lmao

1. I Forget That You Existed

LOL so that’s what the drake Easter egg was about!

Who is this about????

NIIIIiiiiiiiiiIIIiiiiCE

SHE SOUNDS SO GOOD

I JUST FORGOT WHAT THEY WERE LMAOOO

HER LAUGH!! SO CUTE!!

This track is somehow savage and adorable at the same time

So......yeah.......

ShnfhKJHGKSHDKGHSKGHSJG

2. Cruel Summer

This is giving me Katy perry vibes

The devils roll their dice line is from this?? Didn’t expect that

This is maybe the catchiest song I’ve ever heard

Why is this not a single??????

STILL DONT KNOW WHAT SUMMERS A KNIFE MEANS

EXPLAIN TAYLOR

This also kind of gives me Jonas brothers vibes, why???

Again.....what is this about???

OooOOoooOooWhoooooAAAAhh i loveeee this

OOOH no you know what this gives me GETAWAY CAR vibes

Wait...do we think that at the beginning joe wanted to keep their relationship private and Taylor agreed but then changed her mind? WAIT NO.....is this about her having to keep her love for joe secret at first the summer they met because she was with someone else/it was too soon??

3. Lover

Ok SUPER WEIRD transition into lover but OK

As much as I love albums with a clear narrative like rep I also like being all over the place so this is fine

CAN I GO WHERE YOU GOOOOOO

FOR EVER AND EVER ANDIIIII

YOURE MY MY MY MYYYYY LOVER

I wonder what inspired her to use the term lover? Does she not know that normal people don’t speak like that?

WAIT IS THE REASON LOVER COMES AFTER CRUEL SUMMER because of the 3 summers line?? Like look how we started...now were here

Does the album begin with i forgot you existed because its like ok this Kanye situation happened...but now were gonna forget about that and talk about the realer real story of the past couple years of my life rather than seeing it through the lens of that story like on rep

4. The Man

THE ACCURACY

THE ACCURAACCCCYYYYYYYYY

IT HUUURRTTSSS

Honestly though i actually thought this one would be more savage, i thi

DID SHE JUST SAY BITCHES AND MODELSSSS?????

SLJGSHUKGHKDG

Never mind this is as savage as i wanted

I should know better than to judge a Taylor song before the bridge

Again why isn’t this a single.....it better be

5. The Archer

The emotional whiplash this album is giving me is insane.

It’s like RED but with synths

Is the archer placed here because part of her lack of self confidence comes from the things the media says about her (because she’s a woman not a man?) INTERESTING THOUGHT

Don’t have much else to say about this, we already know

.....

Wow the cake i bought for tonight is somehow way too sweet

6. I Think He Knows

Definitely didn’t think i think he knows was about being horny af

But this is so catchy

Why is everything so catchy?? Literally every song should be a single

BOY I UNDERSTAND the confidence!! After the archer!! I love that he makes her feel that way1!!

I THINK HE KNOOOOOOOWWWWSS

This gives me teenage dream vibes and i fucking love that song

7. Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince

Ok time for the one with the weird title

I love how she keeps comparing her current feelings to how she felt as a teenager!! How its the same and different....very good.

SHES A BAD BAD GIRL

More dice!

Is she imagining what it would be like if she was in this relationship in high school? Because I DO THAT ALL THE TIIIIME GIRL SAME

THATS MY WHOLE WORLD SOOOO CUUUUTE

YOU PLAY STUPID GAMES YOU WIN STUPID PRIZES

VOTED

MOST

LIKELY

TO

RUN

AWAY

WITH

YOU

I really like this one. I didn’t expect I would.

This should be a single.

8. Paper Rings

THE VOICE EFFECT

She’s singing so fast on these songs!!!! I CANT KEEP UPP

UH HUH

THATS RIGHT

This is so retro and i loooooooooooooooooooooove it

DIRTY DREAMS??????? TAYLOR PLEASE

OMG THE COLOUR WE PAINTED YOUR BROTHERS WALL

THE PICTURE

THE PICTURE

FROM THE REP MAGAZINES

SDIHGUSHGUKHDZRKUGHKUDZHGUHDZGHDKZHGYIDZJLGJLDJGJSDJGDHZGHLGHLSHGHDG

II LIKE SHINY THINGS

THIS SONG IS SO FUN! ALL THESE SONGS ARE SO FUN!!

Ok baby boy that’s kinda weird but you know what..

....

....

Ok its still weird but maybe it will grow on me

This should be a single.

9. Cornelia Street

HERE IT IS!!! THE FIRST TAYLOR PRODUCED SONG

I NEVER WANT CORNELIA STREET AGAIN?? WHAT IS THIS ABOUT?? THEIR WORST FIGHT? ANOTHER RELATIONSIP? QUESTIONS

The storytelling!

Wait......is this about before they ran away together in CIWYW?? Like she thought he didn’t really want her so she was gonna run away alone...but then he was like no i really do lets go

I totally thought that this was the one with the staring out the window like I’m not your favorite town line was from

She ended it with the line she started with (i think)? Ike she used to!

Kinda feel like people hyped this one up too much but i do like it

10. Death by a Thousand Cuts

The piano!!!!

Like a thousand notes a thousand cuts

Look through the windows of this love - like the heart on her eye! I get it I GET IT lmaoooo

If this song was on red it would have the saddest production but on this album its a bop

11. London Boy

IS THAT JOE??? OMG lmao

HER ACCENT LMAOOOOOOOOO

I don’t know if this song is supposed to be as hilarious as i think it is but i really do think its hilarious

What does like a Tennessee Stella McCartney even mean????

I kinda feel like this song is too specific to her life to be relatable so maybe that’s why i feel that way about it?

12. Soon You’ll Get Better

Ok great... so we went from that to the sad one

I have to prepare

I didn’t tell you i was scared....

Cause you have to...

The fact that this is the country song...

I cant

GOD NOW IM CRYING THIS IS SO SAD

That was the only song so far i had to actually stop typing for. God....I’m so sad for her and her family.

13. False God

I can barely take this song in because of what just came before.

But i really like it. And i really like the theme of religion on this album

14. You Need to Calm Down

NOW YNTCD IS PLAYING

??? IM LITERALLY SOO SAD FROM SOON YOULL GET BETTER STILL

I CANT

PROCESS

THIS

This album is literally all over the place, i keep trying to assign a narrative to it and its not working out so I’m just gonna give up

Sometimes albums are just collections of songs and not a coherent, linear story and that is ok! Even if its not what i prefer

It certainly didn’t bother me on her first few albums.

The one thing i take away from this is like...no wonder she’s so determined to be so overly positive, i think for her its that or break down crying in the face of what’s happening in her family

15. Afterglow

I really love this song!!! Hashtag relatable

......

Man..you can really tell even just from my typing that my heart isn’t in this anymore after that song

Like

Fuck

I think I’m just sad for me too, because i know that i will go through that too sooner rather than later and I already have friends dealing with losing a parent.

16. ME!

My only thought on this is god bless brendon Urie for injecting so much additional joy and energy into this song and making Taylor happy, i just get the vibe that she really needed that

ALSO WHAT THERES REALLY NO HEY KIDS SPELLING IS FUN

TAYLOR EXPLAAIAIIIIIIIAIAIIAN

We’ll see if its on my physical cd copies when they arrive...if not then maybe it was always planned to be a line only in the single version

17. It’s Nice to Have a Friend

Ok I don’t really like this song that much but i really like the messages she’s trying to send like...real love feels like hanging out with a childhood bestie, so comfortable

18. Daylight

I WAS LIKE MEH

BUT THE FUCKING BRIDGE

THE BRIDGE

IM EMOTIONALLY DESTROYED

Also something about the chorus reminds me of the chorus of starlight

STEP INTO THE DAYLIGHT AND LET IT GO

YES

I WAS LIKE NO IS THAT NOT A LYRIC??

BUT IT ISTHANK GOD

THE END

YOU ARE WHAT YOU LOVE

THAT WAS LIKE

MY MANTRA FOR A COUPLE YEARS A WHILE BACK

BECAUSE

I LOVED SO MANY PEOPLE BUT THEY DIDNT LOVE ME

AND I WANTED TO BE DEFINITED BY THE FACT THAT I LOVED THEM NOT THAT HTEY DIDNT LOVE ME

IIIIIIIIIIII

I

IN CONCLUSION:

My feelings are everywhere. Some songs disappointed me but some blew me away - soon you’ll get better is basically the new Never Grow Up for me which is saying a lot. Everything is catchy a hell though even the songs I didn’t like as much. Ultimately i would have liked more songs about varying subject matter esp. self love but as it is, it is still somehow so all over the place. It really just shows how many emotions and phases can be contained within one relationship (i mean I’m assuming every song about a relationship is about joe). I really think that the song about her mom maybe should have been placed somewhere else...I don’t know where I would have put it but that shit is HEAVY. I am so honored that she and her family would share that with us though. I have a million question about how Andrea is doing and if my theory on why tour hasn’t been announced is correct...maybe she will explain more in the interviews/secret session audio we’re getting in the next couple days. I think my favorite song is Lover but that may change. I don’t think any song on here tops my current all time favorite Taylor song though which is CIWYW. That’s a little disappointing but not every song or album has to be my fave! And this album will probably grow on me esp as i hear Taylor’s explanations of it. Rep did. I really did nooott feel good about most of rep at first, it took a few days.

[alienbrainwave]

Let's just save the time and say please answer all of it

LMAO thanks leena 

⛵️ - Fave pirate ship? (like boat ship)

UHM. red force? thousand sunny? going merry? 🔫 - Fave canon arc?

WATER 7 omfg this arc was. too good. too emotionally powerful. 

🚽 - Least favorite canon arc?

eh tied between skypiea and thriller bark. i think both are like? ok? but my gripe with skypiea is that there are like. no lasting consequences. like it ends and its like “yay we defeated god and everyone is okay!”. and thriller bark.... i loved brook’s introduction aswell as kumas more... official introduction.... but the storyline of that arc was so exhausting and i couldnt wait for it to be over tbh

💩 - Least favorite character? (in general)

This is too hard. Blackbeard? I fucking hate that guy. 🙅 - Least favorite Straw Hat?

omfg... tough i love them all. but probably sanji. i really hate how hes so badass and then relies on the pervert trope so much. brook is sort of similar but he overall feels more of a comic relief character whereas sanji is like. supposed to be serious half the time. idk. i love everyone though. 

😀 - Most favorite Straw Hat?

ah shit. i really do love them all. Its tied between. Luffy and Zoro. Because zoro was originally my Favorite Character and is now my third favorite.... but luffy speaks to me a lot. Like his whole.... die hard friendship thing. that means a lot to me. 

😍 - OTP?

ZOLU/ZOLAW/ZOLAWLU???? FROBIN?

💀 - NOTP?

ANY ASL SHIP THEYRE BROTHERS DO NOT SHIP THEM EVEN IF THEY ARENT RELATED THEY VIEW EACHOTHER AS BROTHERS!!!!! also law and cora or law and doffy or cora and doffy.... all awful and i implore the fandom to STOP. lunami , sanami, zosan, marco and ace whatever the ship name is for that, and im not a huge fan of shanks and makino 

☠ - Fave pirate symbol?

oof its like. between spade pirates, red hair pirates, heart pirates

🏰 - Fave marine?

it used to be smoker.... and hes still up on the list... but its definitely admiral kizaru now. 

❌ - Least fave marine?

hm. i havent actually gotten to akainu but? maybe him? spandam? lucci? 

👾 - Fave villain?

kizaru or katakuri probably 

😭 - Saddest scene?

uhm. excuse me. how can i choose. all of one piece is sad. mb aces death but i havent gotten to it yet so😆 - Funniest scene?

fucking. brooks introduction. like all throughout him being introduced. 

or after luffy KOs the celestial dragon and luffy kid and law are like. acting like. competitive children? hilarious. 

😜 - Funniest character?

this is tough. but i have to say i laughed so much because of duval consistently 😳 - Any crushes?

yeah ofc are you kidding me? ace, law, zoro, shanks, robin, franky, rayleigh theres just so many omg 

👌 - Fave character design?

HM idk if i can choose. kizaru? katakuri? ace? its hard bc i have bias on liking these characters already 

🃏 - Who has the Best Hat? (the true question)

uhm luffy obviously

🆚 - Sub or dub?

dub! 

☯️ - Anime or manga?

anime but only because when i first started watching one piece it was like. out of boredom and i wasnt expecting to get invested. so i was like. eh ill just watch it to waste time. then i kept watching it and got into it so i just continued watching it! My current plan is to rewatch the anime up to where the dub is with ned then once we do that im going to read the manga

⏰ - How long have you been into One Piece?

only little over a year! im pretty sure i got into one piece april 2018? 

🍏 - Would you eat a Devil Fruit if you had the chance to?

uhm of fucking course i would!!! 

🐼 - Fave side character?

HATCHAN I WOULD DIE FOR HIM I LOVE HIM SO MUCH HES THE BEST (i mean im not counting law or ace as side characters since they overall have a lot of impact in the story.)

☔️ - Scene that made you cry the most? (not necessarily the saddest scene)

oh fuck uhm. water 7′s entirety i was crying so much. uhhh i just finished sabaody before hancocks intro so like. THAT scene in sabaody i was like “ aw this is sad” and then i was sobbing so hard my body was like. literally wracked with the sobs. i still cry everytime i hear binks brew/sake tho. so maybe that part? listen i cry a lot in general and one piece is sad very often so i cry A LOT 

🌧 - Saddest backstory?

robin???? franky???? 

😎 - Funniest joke?

zoros fucking nonexistent sense of direction really gets me every time

😱 - Most attractive character? 

Zoro for sure 

😐 - Most annoying character?

FOXY god i fuckinnnng hate him 

😕 - Scariest character?

conceptually, visually? scratchmen apoo. im not afraid of him but everything about him is completely unsettling to me. Maybe eneru/enel aswell? he spooked me a little until i was lamenting to someone about how op he is and they were like “luffys going to win because hes rubber.” and i was like. fuck. oh. ok. yeah. makes sense. kizaru is not like? scary? but he definitely is so powerful that it feels helpless against him which is a scary feeling.

👍 - Most powerful Devil Fruit power?

thats hard because even ones that seem lame are used well and become super strong? maybe pika pika no mi

🗣 - Got any theories for how it’s all gonna end?

no theories but i hope luffy becomes the pirate king

🙏 - Favorite episode?

uhmmm.. well my favorite  filler episode is zoros fucking.. babysitting adventures. so good. i dont know if i could pick a favorite canon episode

😏 - Favorite scene?

luffy punching the celestial dragon !!!

🙌 - Are you up to date?

lmao not at all. i stopped right before luffy and hancock meet so i could rewatch the series with ned. i do have a sort of understanding of whats happening atm. i try not to get spoiled but i have the very barebones 

❓ - What unanswered questions do you have related to One Piece?

im mostly just like. curious about the characters we know but dont know their bounties? like if i recall correctly we dont know like rayleighs bounty? do we know shanks? or gold rogers? stuff like that. 

▶️ - Fave opening?

share the world or we are!

🔙 Least fave opening?

hmmm maybe bon voyage?

🎆 - Something you can’t wait for??!!

i cant wait to get to wano!!!! it looks so good!!!!

🔝 - “One Piece is better than ”

one piece is better than kpop

🔪 - A character who fills you with frustration?

bon clay or buggy 

💓 - Which character do you relate to the most?

hm. water 7 robin? idk theyre all relatable for different reasons its hard to say whos the most relatable for me

™️ - How has One Piece changed you?

ehhh i dont know if its changed me as a person as much as its given me something to hold onto

[marsixm]

edit sorry this post is both long (if the readmore fails i am truly truly sorry) & longwinded im just reflecting and thinking; (another edit: u can probably just read the tl dr and get it)

anyway allow me to spin some very personally based theory here for a mo while i put off/warm my fingers up from the cold in preparation to email my therapist

so growing up i had, i think only, het ships, but i never quite had the ones you were (narratively speaking) “supposed to” have

in most media i recall when i was a kid, there were like, 2 diff structures of character romance plot arcs in media i consumed, there was the main lead and 2 best friends model, where thered be the star of the show who had outside romantic leads and the 2 best friends (who were always a boy and a girl) would have their secondary romance, OR there were ensemble shows where there was a more clear romance set up between the main boy and main girl, then side characters whod pair off in whatever ways ended up happening. in the first, see: hannah montana, the second, see: zoey 101. obv this isnt a hard rule and there were loads of exceptions but like, lets just say i tended not to care for the romances set up for the main girls in the trio models, or quite as hard for the main boy and girl in the ensembles, and in general if there was an obvious romance between two leads i either didnt care or outright hated it

basically i never liked the ships they set up for us in straight media, as a kid (namely, a girl) i liked being that “ew pink!” “i hate valentines day” sort of contrarian, but what i remember actually disliking was the predictability of it, because i clearly still shipped characters, so it wasnt /really/ that i hated romance, per se

looking back on it i think it was probably or at least to a degree more like that i hated the hetero expectation of it- i can nit pick down to more specific examples of why i disliked the main pairings (kataang, for example, i thought was weird bc katara acted like a mother/older sister figure to aang, and i didnt feel like there was romance between them at all except where it felt shoehorned in) - maybe it was also that i thought it made more sense for a main character to be with someone they clearly already spent a lot of time with and not some random new hot boy in town (i very distinctly remember shipping miley and oliver on hannah montana, and i believe that was the first time i ever read fanfiction @ age like... 11 lol) as is often the case w like these things.

theres another level to this though, which is that i notice i tended to ship characters who were more vaguely similar to each other, like, physically (ie, similar heights, or hair colors mainly) obviously this is funny now since my main pairing is johnlock which is such a physically different ship we can construct them from basic shapes and colors and theyre still recognizable as who they are, but i have some thoughts about this- but i think there might be two interesting things about this again in retrospect

first of all, this sounds silly ik, but shipping the vaguely similar ones as a child’s way of queering heterosexuality is an interesting concept and not that difficult, like, two boys are also vaguely similar to each other in a similar way a boy and a girl with the same hair color and height might be, which is something i thought of a while ago

the other way in which this is really interesting to me now, that i think might have been more actually pertinent to myself as a trans child, is that i think i shipped the characters i did in an attempt to morph the concept of boy and girl? to find the boy counterpart to every girl??? that second one makes more sense actually. anyway, i digress

2 start off i definitely had gender feelings starting from a very young age so i think these observations ring more true than just reflections, PERHAPS

so the first thing i remember shipping, ie wanting them to be together, thinking about it an inordinate amount of time outside watching the films, even imagining them eating ice cream together in their pjs (i was NINE DHFJGghfkg) was jack sparrow & elizabeth swan from potc (basically my franchise of choice as a kid bc i never read harry potter) now this doesnt quite fit the “visually similar” thing bc actually orlando bloom looks more like kiera knightly and is prob due to them like making out in one movie, but i think this works for the “shipping as gender expression” theory, because elizabeth swan dressed up as a boy, spent most of that movie wearing boy’s clothes, etc- meanwhile jack was a wacky pirate which like hello duh i’d want to be. so i wonder if beyond the fact that they kissed and flirted, there was something to this concept of me wanting two characters to be together, meant i wanted to marry together two conceptual things happening with two characters, or absorb the cool dude and the boyish girl characters into each other to make one whole archetype for myself? i likewise shipped aang and toph (toph who, normally doesnt really have anyone to be shipped with, since she likes sokka but he has a gf) who we all know is the VERY boyish girl character, so boyish im p sure her actually being a trans dude later in life is a p decently accepted headcanon (i dont actually delve into aatla fandom though so i can only hope) 

another thing about this ship thing, is most of my ships had brown hair (like miley and oliver), just like i always have, and in certain cases the girl character would look a LOT like me (i also shipped logan and quinn on zoey 101, which to my surprise n delight actually came true later (although looking back im like... 11 yr old me is glad they made out a lot but adult me is like uhhh why were the kids on this show making out a lot? anyway thats another issue) and i def was a weirdo girl with glasses and long brown wavy hair) which sort of further fuels my feeling that this was an attempt by my brain to do 1 of 2 things, if my own involvement really was a greater motivating factor in this thing, 1. ship MYSELF with a boy (which is like def possible for my gay kinnie ass, but not quite my thesis here) or 2. morph these boy and girl counterparts by imagining them together, seeing them together, etc

for example, i realize now, when i was a kid i drew an avatar sona for myself and said sona looked an awful lot like how id imagine a katara/zuko fusion would be, and the fact that i shipped zutara (very hard lol) was what lead me down this thought path rn

i feel like even to me this concept sounds weird and far fetched but like, gem fusion made enough sense for someone to write with its clearly, usually, romantic implications and we all “get” that, so whom knows???

another thing ive noticed while writing this is for a good few of these ships you can argue the boys in them can be read gay, like jack sparrow and zuko and aang, which feels even more strongly like me trying to marry my gay boy feelings to my tomboy realities [thinking emoji]

the biggest reason i think this makes sense to me is because when i was 10 i became obsessed with the idea that this boy i was friends with and i were secretly twins separated at birth, like i was so into the concept that we looked alike, i like hoped and wished so hard for it to be true, i wished a christmas miracle would happen for fucking real and a magic door in my house would open and be his new room and itd all work out perfectly! and you might think this was a manifestation of my difficulties with my family and wishing to leave it, but in my dream world my parents were still my parents and he came to live with us- which makes me think the obsession of ME looking like this BOY was a manifestation of my gender feelings, which i think can maybe be traced to this concept of pairing a visually similar, possibly gay, brunette boy to every brunette and/or tomboyish girl

anyway. if you actually read all of this id love it if you lmk somehow (doesnt need to be a like) like this is clearly very long and strange but i hope it makes sense. i think i stop myself a lot from ever commenting on gender or theory or whatever but i am a living breathing trans person who has experienced things and i have opinions and i dont think im claiming anything destructive with this lol i think its not unusual to reflect on the way you interacted with the world as a gay/trans kid

also im obviously not saying that shipping straight things is somehow inherently queer, im not trying to retroactively claim something about straight ships, like, those two characters are still functionally straight, and i definitely also shipped probably all of them for normal shipping reasons (although, kid ones, so less “oh theres a lot of ACTUAL romantic subtext between these two” but rather “oh theyre friends and would be cute together!” (or like they kissed and i was like O: )) but im just trying to theorize about something its possible my tiny trans brain was trying to express- and who knows maybe im not the only one!

anyway i guess the TL;DR is: when i was a kid i had a lot of “unconventional” straight ships- i already observed that i eschewed the main canon pairings in kids media in what was probably my tiny baby brains rejection of hetero culture, but i also actively shipped side characters who looked like me, and also looked like each other (ie, both tall and brunette, a boy and girl counterpart of Each Other) OR characters who seemed to be a gayish boy and a tomboyish girl, and im theorizing that maybe the reason that was was my tiny trans brain wanting to gem fusion those two together because of my Gender Feelings and fuse the boy with the girl and this desire manifested in shipping therefore thinking about a lot these pairings of boy and girl counterparts

[gallifvrey]

fic writer review

ty @taardisblue​ for tagging me in this! (also gonna leave this under a readmore to save everyone)

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 7! which is honestly a lot more than i was expecting 

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 19544, which is also way more than i was expecting ngl

3. How many fandoms have you written for? on ao3 ive only published for two fandoms (doctor who and the magnus archives) but i’ve got some wips for critical role stuff and some old mass effect stuff i’d rather not revisit 😬

4. Top 5 fics by kudos? seconds. comes in at number one and is probably one of my fave fics ive written. talks about 12 after escaping from the time dial and his regeneration into 13 and dealing with all of that built up trauma. same with never cruel or cowardly, has lots of callbacks to episodes in hopefully just the right place to break your heart! 

never cruel or cowardly details thirteen’s life after regeneration and specifically dealing with trauma from her experiences right before she regenerated (i.e. time dial, losing and remembering clara, dying on a spaceship etc.)

should have been a TMA fic that goes from martin and jon starting to rebuild their life in the safehouse to then the apocalypse and then the end of the world (written before the finale even aired so its all speculation)

what would you do, to save humanity this was written as an alternative darker ending to Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos bc i figured that episode didn’t have enough angst. 

every star a fic about the doctor and the master’s relationship bc this ship always kind of kills me and i am always kinda thinking about it. about how they are so very, very alike. two sides of the same coin.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why/why not? ahhh unfortunately i generally dont - partially i get rly stressed about responding “the right way” but also i like seeing the little notification of unread messages! nice reminder that ppl comment on my fics! but also sometimes i do just forget and feel rly awkward. just know if you comment on my fic i literally owe my entire life to you 

6. A fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? ah man the tma fic ends in their combined death so theres that? the thoschei fic is... well.. i mean, yknow. a thoschei fic. none of them end particularly ‘well’ tho i think. 

7. Do you write crossovers? nah i dont particularly like crossovers tbh

8. Ever received hate on a fic? thankfully, no

9. Do you write smut? that is between me, google docs, and a secondary ao3 account no one knows about

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen? thankfully, no

11. Ever had a fic translated? No

12. Have you ever co-written a fic? no! i’d like to tho!

13. All time fav ship? god i dont think i could just have one but i am kinda obsessed with thoschei from doctor who, or twelve/clara is a huge one for me also

14. WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? oh man i wrote a really detailed rewrite of the pyramid at the end of the world episodes, where instead of the doctor coming back he was still indoctrinated or still was like, done w humanity ig, so it was bill who singlehandedly was saving the world kinda like martha did. it was my first time writing a longer fic and sticking with it and i think it had real potential! but someone never has time anymore 

15. Writing strengths? i’d like to think im pretty good at descriptions and like, idk what to call it but like the vaguely meta-ish stuff, references to past eps and kinda like “poetic” language describing stuff?

16. Writing weaknesses? i cannot write dialogue to save my life. tbh both in real life and in fic

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic? see above. but also i think i’d be fine with it, at least in short bursts. if there’s ever a character that speaks ukrainian i’d be super down to write some of their dialogue in ukrainian in a fic but alas :(

18. First fandom you wrote for? definitely doctor who! i wrote a fic when i was like, 13? or smth and had just started watching the show and it was the most self indulgent thing ever but it was all about the doctor coming to pick up random teenagers from around the world and bring them onto the tardis in this big camp-like sleepover. i absolutely loved thinking abt that fic 

19. What’s your fav fic you’ve written so far? hmm i like pyrite a lot bc its more ~experimental~ than ive written before. but i also have to say seconds. bc it introduced me to @yesokayiknow & then suddenly 2 yrs later had a bunch more dw friends! cool times

ty maddy for tagging me! this was a lot of fun. ik im supposed to tag ppl but alas i know limited tumblr urls off the top of my head so genuinely if you got this far in reading this post like, feel free to do this and tag me in it i’d love to see your response! 

(if you’re thinking “oh but surely they can’t be talking about me!” i am. do the post if you want! tis fun)

[smireyac]

fuck this year man u dont even get cute emojis in the title this time

so lemme just start by saying fuck 2020 

now that we’re on the same page, lets get into it

so i dont have to explain all the reasons why this year sucked bc u just need to google 2020 and there will be a million reasons why it was TOTAL FUCKING GARBAGE...... usually when so many people collectively say a year sucked ass, i can be like “oh it wasnt *all* bad for me, personally” haha not this year!!! 

its super fucking depressing to look at how hopeful and positive i was about 2020 a year ago..... ofc there was no way for me to have known it would all go to shit but i still really appreciate the tone i had set... reading over the previous reflections and seeing how harsh and negative i was @ myself made the softness of last years post super refreshing.... 

now i said i dont *have* to explain all the ways 2020 was shitty, but i am gonna explain the biggest reason this year was shitty for me, personally..... it might seem really small in comparison to the ways 2020 was shitty as a whole on like a global scale? but really the biggest reason 2020 sucked ass was i didnt get to really hang out with any of my friends in real life for 9 out of the 12 months of the year.... and really it was like the first week of march that shit hit the fan so like really it was only 2 months that we got to see each other....... if u rmbr p much every previous retrospective post ive made, there was a big emphasis on friends..... ive come to realize that im actually a very *extra*verted person??? despite my overall shyness and homebody attitude, i would always choose to hang out with people over being alone so stay-at-home orders FUCKING SUCKED??? when we all thought it would be over in a couple weeks, maybe a month it was fine?? hey its a good time to draw or catch up on that reading and/or writing i said i was gonna do maybe even start learning to drive?? it’ll be no big deal THEN it wasn’t over in a month and it wasnt gonna BE over anytime soon and no one important was doing anything about it and its an election year and black lives have always mattered and yet everything is so uncertain and

[inhale]

[exhale]

this year was..... a lot...... too much in fact

in 2018, i had said that i watched vox’s video on the year in 5 mins and cried... if i watched this year in five minutes, i dont think i would be able to breathe...... 

SO instead of making myself CRY..... lets try to think about any GOOD things that happened and think about what we can do to make 2021 good for ourselves:

GOOD THINGS THAT HAPPENED:

-i *didn’t* lose my job!! sad that so many others cannot say the same but im trying to make myself feel *better* not WORSE so i got to keep my job and i actually work more hours than before so!!

-i actually *did* learn to drive this year!!!! and im pretty good at it??? for someone that just started this year anyway?? i probably *would* have my DRIVER’S LICENSE right now if it weren’t for a surge in cases in a certain STATE that i happen to live in......... but w/e its fine i get more time to practice and im ~~**DEFINITELY**~~ going pass my test and get my license ~whenever it is that i can reschedule my dmv appt~

lmfao its so funny that last year, i was absolutely *dreading* learning to drive but i so fucking get why everyone was like ‘you need to learn how to drive’ i legit love it so much???? ive always been a car person but that was like purely for the aesthetic but now that i can drive im just....... WOOOW this really is what freedom feels like.... like ik that public transportation is amazing and i will always champion it but nothing beats being purely in control of your destination.... i also wanted to buy myself a car for my birthday even tho i couldnt really drive yet but then sien had to fix smthg on her car and it was EXPENSIVE AF and my mom was like “u dont need to buy a car yet” so i put the brakes [haha] on that... but soon... once i get my license,,, then i will have u my love................. so with that being “my most serious goal of 2020″ im glad i did it

-i was one of lucky ones and got unemployment when i couldn’t work so i have a lot of money saved in the bank??? pls no one steal my identity i wanna use that money to buy myself a car and/or for when we move out 🤞🤞 we’ll just have to wait and seeeeee....................

-i had mentioned playing dnd last year too and thats been going STRONG as hell thank goodness....... we couldnt keep playing in person but when we moved it to online, not only did we actually get to hang out a lot more, we made more friends??? introduced new people to the group?? its so good and in fact probably the only thing that kept me even a little bit sane this year...... 

-this is more of an honorable mention than an accomplishment but im this 🤏close to catching up with critical role and thats partially thanks to the pandemic lmao sooooo ??? 

aaaaaaand thats p much it lol i didnt really accomplish any of my other goals bc reasons................. but!!! as cliche as it sounds, with a light at the end of the tunnel, im confident that i can turn that all around this year.... so if 2016 was the year of change, 2017 was the year of getting used to shit, 2018 was the year of getting *too* used to shit and 2019 ended up being the year of friends, 2020 was the year of absolute shit and it doesn’t fucking count....... i learned a lot this year, biggest lesson of all is that life is short and if i were to have died at any point last year, what the fuck would i have to show for it??? so usually i end up giving a theme or name to a year after its done but this time im determined to make 2021 into what i want it to be SO i am declaring this year, the year of our lord 2021, the year of new experiences!!!! what the fuck does that mean you ask? well ill tell you!!! im gonna try new things this year!! make a very pointed effort to do things outside my comfort zone?? and for my goals this year, im going back to my old way of making a huge list of stuff u wanna do and seeing how much i can actuallly accomplish!! now i said theres a light but we really dont know when all this shit will end and life will go “bAcK tO nOrMaL” so whos to say ill get to accomplish any of it? at the same time, there are plenty of stuff on the list that i can do within the pandemic set parameters so!! lets see this list!!

2021 GOALS:

[check boxes bc there is no plain box emoji lmao]

☑️ read new books!! i’ll keep last years goal bc i didnt meet it and i have good reads now which tells me i just need to read 1.5 books a month to reach that goal!! huzzah!

☑️ watch new shows and new movies b4 u end up watching shit you’ve already seen a million times... i bought an old planner for 2020 instead of 2021 by accident but i hope it will help keep track of the movies/shows along with the books too!

☑️ listen to new music!! this years spotify wrapped was garbo it only had like 3 albums and a bunch of other shit i always listen to so i gotta fix that lmfao

☑️ write new stories!! i am comforted by the shit ive been writing for the past like 7 years but if my screenplay class taught me anything its that there are a lot of stories to tell and i got so many ideas floating around in this noggin!! instead of an arbitrary word count, why dont i say write idk 3 new stories, start to finish, in whatever medium idc screenplay, short story, comic, twine WHATEVER!! do it!

☑️ eat new food!! lmao this one seems the most silly to me but ive never had indian food, ive never had [not really anyway] korean food, i want to find new restaurants and eat new food!!! yum!

☑️ go on a road trip!!

☑️ visit some place ive never been before!!

☑️ go on a hike??

☑️ go to mexico again

☑️ ride a scary rollercoaster you previously wouldnt have

☑️ go to a club

☑️ get silly drunk fr 

☑️ FUCK IT go on dates!! self date friend dates sister date cousin dates R- Romantic... dates ??? FUCK IT!!! YEAH!! DATE ALL UP IN THIS BITCH!!

☑️ learn to use blender

☑️ animate something 

☑️ make a big painting

☑️ cosplay ???? AHH

☑️ learn to roller skate lmao u bought the skates and were so excited for them!! 

☑️ go somewhere SUPER DARK and go see some real stars!!!! 

☑️ and to top it all off, throw the airbnb house party that we’ve been talking about for MONTHS lmao 

hmmmm,, i think thats a good enough list for now ?? another thing i wanted to accomplish.... that im scared to speak into existence bc then i cant back out of doing it...........and it doesnt align with the whole “new” spirit of 2021 but.......... i want to like start making apartments for rent????? like i want to have something of it to show by, if not the 8th anniversary then by the end of the year HHUFF THERE I SAID IT......... no turning back now.......... 

alright its almost midnight on.... whats this? its already jan. 1st??? lmao yeah fuck it i didnt keep up with anything i normally did this year who cares i made up the rules i can break them too lol  

so yeah 

we’ll see what this year brings us,,,,

hoo boy

[ohdarlings]

hey! first of all I wanna say I love your blog so much! and I’ve been following you since a long time now 💕 I’m planning to move somewhere in europe anytime soon (I’m from USA yikessss!) And I wanted to know if England is a really place to live in? How’d you describe it? the people? what’s your favorite city?? Idk!!! anything would help

oh ! this is so sweet tysm hun !!! ♡♡ cold rainy england,,,i’ll try my best !! lmao

as a general rule, the further up north you go, the friendlier. and i’d say if youre gunna move here, definitely move to a city! it’s generally easier to meet people, the people are usually friendlier, there’s always something to do, but i assume that’s the same anywhere really!! 

i’l start w sheffield bc my sister lives there and she loves it! it’s pretty, youve got the peak district at your doorstep, the people are friendly, nightlife is cool, loads of little cafes, restaurants, bars, nd it’s got them typical old english buildings if that’s what ur into! and i like manchester, too! the centre is nice, it’s a super easy place to imagine urself living, the music scene’s good, the museum is so nice there??? the people are fun, but idk if it’s as easy to vibe with coming from the us as somewhere like london! i love it tho, and i was very close to moving there for uni! i’ll mention liverpool as well, bc it’s where i live lmao. honestly, not to sound like a typical scouser, but i really havent found a friendlier city. people will just talk to you though, so if ur not into strangers wanting a chat, maybe not for u! but town is great, there’s honestly a lot of great food and culture and history, too. it’s pretty as well, the docks, the old buildings, the parks, there’s a lot of nice music venues, the museums, the library. nd it’s so much cheaper than most cities. like seriously. a v easy place to live imo !

and london! i mean that’s the ideal for most people, really. you could live there for years and have only seen half of it. and it can seem v cold and businessy, but like .. anyone you speak to is literally always lovely. i’d be surprised if you could get lost without someone approaching you with directions. it’s the easiest place to live and work in the world, but it’s always busy and expensive … like something there could be double the price than the rest of the country. also, noone drives bc it’s a nightmare! you dont need to anway, bc public transport is v affordable and easy to navigate, like omg. the easiest underground system ever. notting hill is nice .. you know where paddington lives lol, but every part of london has a different vibe, a slightly different culture, so i’d imagine it takes a bit of moving around if you’ve never been before! 

also ik the work visas if youre coming from the usa aren’t the easiest to qualify for, so i’d look that up !! i’m aware this is pr positive, but i’ve only listed places where the people are welcoming and not all big fat tories and horrid! lmao, i will say it’s generally more fast paced and high strung than the rest of europe, but i imagine it’s easier to work here than in america! guaranteed two weeks paid holiday, sick pay, paid maternity leave, union access! and free healthcare, for everyone, babey! so yeah! hope theres something there for u!! oh and good luck w the accents lmao💓

[sleepymouses]

definitely do les mis and hockey

(from this ask meme)

ok so les mis can be mostly broken down into two factions; the people who actually read the whole book which is also known as the Brick bc it is so thick and dense and hard to get into. these ppl are super into meta and details, and characterizationses, probs esp bc the brick itself is basically meta upon meta of hugo’s own story

and then there’s the movie ppl, who mostly got into the fandom bc of the most recent movie with hugh jackman etc (i think it’s the most popular one, but i know there’s like 10 or something?) as like their first introduction to this worlde

so idk how olde this fandom is in terms of the usual fannish things like shipping and fanfic writing and whatnot, i kind of get the feeling its not realllly big tho, i think a lot of its growth probos came from the new movie?

also the main duders that i see everyone ship together all the time dont really have even a minute of screen tiem together i dont think? so it is hard to know a lot about them as ppl just from that alone, to say nothing of eveyone else and their huge backstories, which i think the hard core brick ppl are probably Very more concerned about?

and i forgot main duders names already im so sorry, but theres the handsome blonde curly leader feller who doesnt even know that this fluffy brunette boy who loves him so Much from afar (but not rlly, hes still p much like right There, but fluffy blonde boy is Oblivious, classic painful pining trope yknow), cos hes too busy being in love for his country that he would die for it, speaking of which, pining boy loves blondo so much that he is gonna hold hands with him b4 they die together, which is very a lot 

it is All very a lot in fact, also im sure that a good deal of les mis fic is probos v canon divergent, fix it’s, those sorts of things, like ik lots of fandoms have like that One epic tragedy fic but how do u do that when les mis is already a big Epic Tragedy in itself?

 anyways, moving on, im not sure what im talking abt anymore lol, the rest will hopefully be shorter?

~

and i think hockey fandom can also be broken down into two groups? so u have the grown ass dudes who start riots and break shit when their fave team loses or whatnot, typical misogynistic sport bros that kinda make sportos in general feel blah and intense to be around, yunno? 

and then the more newly emerging (in my eyes, im not actually rlly into sports so maybe this isnt that recent, just new 2 me) fandom ppls who also are very passionate about their fave teams and players and how well they do, but the main difference is they love their Soft Bros so much!!! 

they want them to be okay, for all the 1st group screams about how much they support their teams, do they ever once wish they could offer them emotional support as well? heck nope! 

wouldn’t even dream of writing a fix it fic after someone gets traded and breaks up the whole lil family that is their favourite team, or chatting to their fellow fans about what Good Goobers they are