#i sit on the kitchen floor entirely in my hoodie

[bumbleboyart]

sweatertown real

[diazsdimples]

Buddie "wish I could carry you in my pocket"

"Wish I could carry you around in my pocket," Buck sighs as he gazes lovingly at Eddie sitting on the kitchen table. He's just a little too short for his legs to touch the ground, so he's got his ankles hooked together as he swings his legs back and forth. That, plus the oversized hoodie he's wearing have the effect of making him look like an overgrown toddler and Buck thinks he is simply adorable.

The minute the words leave his lips, Buck has an idea. A year or so ago, Buck had been messing around with one of Maddie's old spellbooks when he'd come across a Shrinking Spell. Thinking it would be useful if he ever needed to pull someone out of a mound of rubble or remove a crush, Buck had learned the spell, accidentally shrinking Maddie's laptop before figured out the reversing spell and had put it to right.

"Hmm?" Eddie says, lifting his eyes ever so slightly from the cookbook he's studying. "What was that, baby?"

Buck rolls up his sleeves and flexes his fingers a little. "Oh nothing, don't mind me." He clicks his fingers and looks pleased as a small shower of blue sparks rain onto the hardwood floors. There's a very faint smell of sea salt, but hopefully not enough for Eddie to notice. "Hold still."

"Wha-?"

Eddie barely has a moment to register Buck's words before Buck does a series of complicated wiggles with his fingers, mutters "Parvus" under his breath, and Eddie is suddenly shrouded in a cloud of royal blue energy. The room is suddenly filled with the scent of the ocean, as if Buck has suddenly stepped out onto Santa Monica beach.

When the cloud clears Eddie is nowhere to be seen, and Buck's heart is instantly in his throat.

"Eddie?" he calls out, walking towards the table where his boyfriend had been perched moments earlier. "Eddie are you still here?"

I've fucking disappeared my boyfriend, Buck thinks in a moment's panic. He hadn't read anything in the fine print about performing the spell on performing it on human subjects, and he's also not sure how to control the size of the thing he's transforming. There is a very real possibility that he's shrunk Eddie to the size of a dust mite and will never be able to resize him again.

Why the fuck can't he use his brain before acting??

Just before Buck plummets into a proper panic attack, there's a small movement on the table, just behind the cookbook resting on the edge.

"Buck, what the fuck have you done to me?"

The voice is high pitched and quiet but unmistakably Eddie's, and it takes Buck a second to locate it. But there, dusting himself off and looking decidedly unimpressed, is the smallest Eddie Buck has ever seen in his life. He's about the size of Buck's forefinger and leans against the pages of the cookbook as he glares up at his boyfriend.

"Oh my god, you are so tiny!" Buck grins as he takes in Eddie in all his miniscule glory. "I can't believe that worked!"

Buck reaches out and picks Eddie up, his fingers pinching at the back of Eddie's hoodie, and he drops his boyfriend into the palm of his hand. Eddie wobbles unsteadily before gingerly lowering himself down so he's sitting on the edge of Buck's palm with his legs dangling over the edge, no dissimilar to how he was on the table. He crosses his arms across his chest and glares up at Buck. If he wasn't all of 3 inches tall, it would almost be intimidating

"Put me back," he demands, the authoritativeness of his tone lost entirely by the fact that he sounds like he's swallowed a tank of helium. "Put me back or so help me God-"

"Or what?" Buck giggles, "You'll crawl up my nose?"

"I'll squeeze inside your dickhole and cause permanent damage with my teeth and fists," Eddie counters with a huff.

"Don't threaten me with a good time, babe."

"Buck please, we've got a shift in 3 hours. Make me big again," Eddie pleads, and Buck's completely incapable of defying his boyfriend at the best of times, especially when he's perched perfectly in the palm of Buck's hands, looking so tiny and adorable and pleading silently with his big brown eyes.

Buck sighs and holds his palm adjacent to the table so Eddie can walk across it and take up position next to the cookbook.

"Can I at least try fitting you in my pocket?" he asks, giving Eddie his puppy eyes, but it seems Shrunk Eddie is immune to Buck's charms. He shakes his head vehemently, snapping his fingers so a ball of deep green energy appears in the palm of his hands. The mellow, woodsy scent of pine trees cuts through the saltiness of Buck's magic as Eddie juggles the energy ball between his hands.

"Try it, I dare you."

Knowing when he's beaten, Buck relents with a sigh. Buck may be the one that practices magic the most but Eddie comes from a long line of powerful sorcerers, and Buck has no trouble admitting that Eddie is the more skilled magician of the two of them. If Eddie wanted to, he could turn Buck into a cockroach in a matter of seconds.

"Magnus" he mutters, channelling a fraction of his energy towards Eddie, and there's another cloud of rich blue energy and Eddie reappears.

He shakes out his arms and hops off the table. "You have no idea how weird that was," he grimaces. "You looked like a giant!"

"Don't I always?" Buck teases, referencing his slight height advantage against Eddie which was a slight sore point in their relationship.

Eddie takes two steps forward so they're nose to nose, and is about to open his mouth to scold Buck before a look of surprise passes over his face.

"Huh!" he says, stepping back so he's able to look at Buck properly. A grin begins to spread over his face as he looks Buck up and down. "I think that spell made me taller!"

Buck balks. "Absolutely not, that's not possible," he says, shaking his head. "I'm the tall one!"

Eddie steps back into Buck's space and yep, he's definitely grown an inch or two. They're almost completely at eye level, with Eddie a fraction taller, if anything. Buck gulps. Maybe he shouldn't have played around with magic.

"No, baby, you're definitely shorter than me no," he grins, and he tilts Buck's chin up (up!!!) to kiss him. It's soft and sweet, their lips moving in tandem. Eddie's smiling into the kiss and Buck can feel the smugness radiating off him.

"I'll just have to shrink you again," he points out as they break apart, but Eddie merely grins and kisses Buck on the forehead.

"I'd like to see you try."

Send me a ship and a sentence and I'll finish it!!

[atinyniki]

instant ramen

group: stray kids !

pairing: idol!lee felix x f!reader

genre: angst with a happy ending

warnings + additional info: reader is referred to as y/n, established relationships, mentions of periods and hormonal imbalances, felix is a little mean, felix is referred to as lix, lixie, and felix.

authors note: i was bored and made a short little felix drabble ! this is also not proofread, i just had a thought and felt like posting it. english is not my first language, so please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors. happy reading :)

wc: 1483

(pt. 2) || (pt. 3)

it’s not everyday that felix comes home in a bad mood. he’s had just about the worst day at practice today. he couldn’t seem to be getting anything right, and often found himself zoning out and getting off track. 

you’ve had a long day too. you couldn’t seem to get out of bed this morning, and woke up in the late hours of the afternoon. your entire house was a mess, and you didn’t have the energy to clean it up. to make matters worse, your period is late and it’s left you grumpy the entire week.

it’s now almost midnight, and you’re sprawled out on the couch comfortably, watching some tv. you have felix’s fuzzy blanket over you, one you both always use when watching shows together. 

suddenly, you hear the familiar sound of the keys jingling at the door. the door flies open, and behind it, you see a tired felix, dark green hoodie shrouding his face. 

you slowly get up from the couch and turn off the tv, careful not to trip over anything while you make your way to the door. 

“why are you up so late y/n?”, his voice was low, tired, but he managed to muster a small smile.

“it’s not that late, i just wanted to wait for you.”

he slowly walked into the home, setting his bag down at the door. he made his way to the kitchen, grabbing some water to drink, when his eyes quickly dart to the dishes.

felix likes having the house clean. after living in a dorm with chaotic men who didn’t know how to clean up after themselves, it got pretty sickening. normally the house would be clean, but felix has been out recently due to his new comeback, and you’ve been busy with work. neither of you had the time to do simple tasks anymore.

seeing the dishes still dirty frustrated felix more, but he decided not to mention it and walked to the bathroom to take a quick shower. he passed by the living room, the cushions scattered messily on the floor, and then your shared bedroom. clothes had piled up in the two hampers you had, some had even fallen onto the floor.

some part in felix just snapped. 

“is it really that hard to put some clothes in the wash, y/n?”

you were zoned out, but his voice brought you back to reality. 

“sorry what did you say? i zoned-“

“nevermind…”

felix began to walk away, but you walked towards him, stopping him. 

“lix what’s wrong?”, you looked at him, your eyes full of concern. he let out a scoff, “what’s wrong? what’s wrong is that you’ve been home the entire day and the house is still a mess.” 

your eyes widen. normally, felix is understanding about these things. you only have one day off the entire week. you’ve been overworking yourself so much recently that you just needed today to be a break. 

“i’m really sorry lix, i’ll just do it tomorrow” 

he glares at you, a foreign look swirling in his eyes. “if you were really sorry, you would have cleaned up after yourself. you know i don’t have time for this. it would only take thirty minutes max to fix up the house a little.”

“you really need to start doing something with yourself y/n. i’m not going to be doing everything while you just sit around and watch tv all day.”

you started tearing up. you didn’t mean to, but you really wanted to cry. felix saw the tears brimming in your eyes, and he started to feel a lump growing in his throat.

you didn’t know what else to say. you looked down and heard the receding footsteps, making your way to your bedroom. the tears slowly fell from your eyes, but you didn’t dare to make a sound. your boyfriend had never spoken to you like that, and he never really got that cold.

you picked up the clothes off the floor, putting them into the hampers and making your way to the laundry room. you put them in the wash and put the hampers back in your room.

you walked to the kitchen, and started to clean the dishes. you wanted to get it done as soon as possible, so felix could have a bit of relief when he got out of the shower. his words continued to replay in your head. you’ve been so exhausted recently, you felt bad that you couldn’t do anything for him.

you put the dishes back into their respective cabinets, and figured that felix would probably be hungry when he got out. you pulled out his favorite instant ramen, put it in the pot, and began making it for him. you hoped it would cheer him up. 

meanwhile, felix stays in the shower for longer than usual. he takes up the first eight minutes alone just standing in the warm stream, washing all the impurities off of his body. he stayed there for as long as he could, but for some reason, the guilt wouldn’t wash away with him.

he knew he shouldn’t have been so harsh. he didn’t mean to, he was just exhausted and already a little put off, but that’s no excuse to lash out at your girlfriend like that. after a while, he finally grabbed his shampoo, staring at the bottle for a moment before placing it back on the rack.

he reached down to grab your shampoo instead, the vanilla scent calming him down instantly. in a way, he felt closer to you. the foamy bubbles ran down his hair, and he began to wash the soap out of his hair. 

he then took another one of your items, your vanilla body wash. he liked that you’d always use vanilla scented items, it was easy to associate the smell with you. suddenly, the whole bathroom smelled like vanilla, smelled like you.

felix found the smell so comforting, almost like you were right there with him. he closed his eyes, thinking about what he said to you. he knew that as soon as he got out, he’d apologize to you. 

he finally got out of the shower and put some comfortable clothes on. it was almost two in the morning now, so he was expecting you to be asleep. he figured he’d apologize to you tomorrow when you wake up. 

he makes his way to the bedroom, but to his surprise you aren’t there. he didn’t go looking for you, he figured you needed some space. he saw your keys on your dresser, so he knew you hadn’t left the house. 

all of a sudden, he sees you at the door, a wooden rack in your hand with a bowl on top, decorated blue chopsticks on the side. you place it on his nightstand, and start playing with your thumbs, contemplating what to say next.

“i’m sorry for leaving the house a mess today, i know you didn’t want to come back home to that sight. i’ve cleaned it all up now though, and i made you some ramen. i figured you’d be hungry”, you let out a nervous chuckle. 

you looked up, and your heart immediately dropped to the pit of your stomach. you thought felix would be mad at you, but you didn’t expect him to cry.

he took your hand in his and let out a shaky breath. “i’m so sorry y/n. i truly didn’t mean what i said, i was just frustrated and seeing a messy house set me off a little bit. i promise it won’t happen again, please don’t overwork yourself just for my sake.”

you quickly wrapped him in a hug, “don’t cry lix, it’s okay. you’re just tired, i know you didn’t mean it”. you gave him a quick peck on his forehead, before running your fingers through his hair. 

he buried his head in your chest, inhaling the scent he’d been craving for the past hour, staining your his hoodie with his tears in the process.

“i love you lixie, im here for you. you don’t have to worry.”

he only clung onto you tighter after that, mumbling a little “i love you too” and multiple apologies into your chest. you smiled, knowing how vulnerable he was right now, and you were just happy he could trust you. 

“eat your ramen now, it’s getting cold dummy”

he looked up at you and smiled, patting the area next to him. you complied, lowering yourself onto the bed and clinging onto his arm.

the ramen had gone slightly cold, but it was still enjoyable. felix felt a familiar warmth spread throughout his entire being when you wrapped your arms around him, and let himself melt into your warmth. 

you have both been going through a lot recently, but you knew that as long as you had each other, you’d be okay.

<3

[kissitbttr]

imagine reader going to the frat house kitchen during midnight for some water and bumping into Gloria

you wake up feeling quite thirsty, and fuck. you always hate it when that happens because you prioritize a good quality of sleep.

looking over beside you, it makes your heart swell. seeing miguel sleeping peacefully with soft snores coming out of his mouth and his arm around you. always the big spoon.

slowly, you pry yourself from miguel’s embrace, earning a light groan from him but you manage to slip past easily after.

grabbing his bengals t-shirt off the floor, you quickly put it on to cover your half naked body. getting up after and tip toe towards the door and head down to the kitchen to grab a glass of water,

you stop dead track in your movement when you hear the sound of glasses clinking from the kitchen. frowning to yourself thinking that it’s one of miguel’s frat brothers, but you pay no mind to it since you’re not entirely naked. his t-shirt is large enough to make a dress out of you.

expecting to see a half naked man with rippling muscles, yet you are facing the back of a more feminine looking. sitting near the counter with her hair down,

wait… she looks… familiar..?

“gloria?” you wide eyed as the girl freezes, turning around slowly to meet your eyes. failing to suppress the loud gasp coming from your lips. “oh my god?! what the fuck?! what are you doing here! what-what, huh?!”

“…hi, y/n” gloria nervously chuckle, putting her cereal bowl down and stand up,

your gaze fall down to the hoodie she’s wearing. and oh my, my, you definitely know who owns that piece of clothing,

“oh. my. god. YOU ARE FUCKING BECK?! AGAIN?!” you’re unaware of how loud you’re being until gloria hurries to your spot and hushes. “i can NOT believe this! girl, you told me you and him are over!”

“i know, i know, god! keep your voice down, por favor!” she begs, holding both of your arms,

“since when?!”

“…a month?” she answers,

“and what, strictly fucking or are you both dating?”

“babe you and i both know i can’t commit for shit” gloria rolls her eyes. “simply for fun”

“and he’s okay with that?”

“oh definitely…” but then she looks up as if she’s thinking. “or.. at least i think so..”

“wow” you breathe out, arms crossed over your chest. “how come i didn’t know about this? why didn’t you tell me?”

“well miguel knows. I assumed he would’ve told you”

no he didn’t?!

“he knows?! that mother fucker—“ you take a deep breath. “why did you tell him and not me? your best friend!”

“i didn’t! beck must’ve! we agreed to keep it low for a while. i don’t want anyone to find out, especially you��� she pouts. “are you mad?”

“not mad that you two are fucking but you lied to me” you frown, seeing her smile falters a bit. “but I’ll let this slide”

she squeals, hugging you tight before kissing your lips. “love you babes… what are you doing up, anyway?”

“thirsty. throat dry as shit”

“you know i heard too much of a deep throat could—“

“yeah yeah got it” you stop her before she can finish that sentence, chuckling at how blunt she could be. but hey, that’s why you two are best friends,

after getting your drink and talk to her for a few, the two of you say goodnight to each other before going to each boy’s room. walking into miguel’s room, you assume that he’s still sleeping like a baby but instead you see him wide awake, hands behind his head. broad and naked chest are exposed to you,

“you scared the shit out of me, muñeca. I thought you had left or something” he pouts, making grabby hands at you. “come ‘ere pweaaase”

usually, you would give in. because he looks so adorable doing that thing to you, however you take him by surprise the moment you chuck the nearest pillow at him. giving him a glare,

“what the—what was that for?!”

“you knew beck and gloria are back together and you didn’t tell me?!”

he slowly removes the pillow from his face, putting it down slowly. “wait… she didn’t tell you?”

“no! she didn’t! and gloria told me you knew from her and you didn’t tell me! your girlfriend!”

“ah shit… okay beck told me not to tell anyone. that includes you. i’m sorry, querida” he scratches the back of his head. “plus, they both were practically all over each other at the last week’s party, babe. maybe you are too oblivious”

“you know what” you begin, crawling towards the bed and slide yourself in the covers. “because you chose to listen to beck and lied to me.. no titties for you for the next 24 hours. good night”

miguel panics. “what?! no no no, that’s not fair! muñeca! i cannot live without your boobies, i’m sorry! i won’t do it again i promise!”

[hyuckmov]

haechan — if i believe you  

haechan x fem!reader 10.6k, angst & fluff, fake dating to real a/n: thank you all for waiting...this is the longest thing i've ever written :) i really hope that you can enjoy this and the emotions and everything are immersive and not too annoying with the miscommunication/repression i hope. these two are my favorite ever, quiet haechan is my favorite ever and i would love to revisit them maybe in a later fic. anyway, let me know if you like this!! thank you for reading <3 it’s a little difficult to be around your friend group when they’re all like this.

it’s a little past midnight, and you don’t know how it happened but the room has been split into happy pairs, all in their own world. movie on the tv forgotten, jaemin has his arm slung around a girl as they whisper to each other on the floor next to the couch, which is taken up by jeno — currently very endearingly laughing at something his girlfriend said. renjun was arguing with his girlfriend, but you know that neither of them truly meant it. you don’t know how it happened, but it seemed that this year, the trip to jaemin’s beach house had turned into a triple date for which you were seriously 7th wheeling. the sight makes your heart hurt a little, because you suddenly feel so crushingly lonely. 

“still here?” 

you almost forgot that haechan was here too. almost. 

sliding in to sit next to you on the kitchen island, he was dressed cozily for bed: his hoodie rolled up to his elbows, smelling slightly of toothpaste and fabric softener. you didn’t actually talk to haechan that much, you were always closer with jaemin in the friend group, but sometimes when eating together he’d catch your eye after a particularly terrible joke, or you would raise your eyebrows at him for something questionable said. you had almost developed an entirely non-verbal form of communication in that way, the two of you sharing your humor, and yet you didn’t actually know a whole lot about each other. a part of you thinks that you know a different haechan from everyone else, because in all the looks you pass each other and the comfortable silence you share, the haechan you know is quiet and sensitive, with a world of kindness in him that made you feel calm. and although you know he can be obnoxious and loud, his laughter echoing down corridors and smile brighter than the sun, you much preferred the haechan you knew. 

you also thought he was the prettiest boy you’d seen in a long while — something casual about the way he would smile, or wink at people, and his habit of poking his tongue in his cheek…but you weren’t going to tell him that. 

“yeah, still here.” you exhale. “when did you make your escape?” 

“about 30 minutes ago.” he smiled fondly at the happy couples in the room. “it’s a bit funny how the room just rearranged itself. i could’ve sworn jaemin was beside me at the dinner table the entire night but somewhere along the way he dematerialised and reappeared next to the sofa.” 

“love can do that to a person.” you rolled your eyes, before pausing to consider that maybe haechan was not quite in the same predicament as you. “hey, speaking of, why didn’t you bring your girlfriend?” 

because you were sure that haechan had a girlfriend, who he would sometimes leave gatherings early to see. you vaguely remembered renjun complaining about how he always had to walk her to class, never showing up to gatherings anymore because of some surprise or another. 

haechan blinks at you. “don’t have one anymore. we broke up quite a few months ago.” at the guilt-striken look on your face, he shakes his head to reassure you. 

“i’m over it,” he says softly. “don’t worry about me, okay?”

you can’t imagine anyone breaking up with haechan — haechan who was so gentle. with his radiant smile and his arms full of flowers whenever he surprised her. haechan who walked her to her classes. 

“i’m sorry to hear that. you deserved better i’m sure.” 

he smiles, and it looks kind of shy. “if you say so.” 

“hey y/n-” you look up at jaemin’s voice, and realize that somehow, the room had emptied out while you were talking to haechan. the only person left was jaemin, who had just finished clearing the bottles and snack wrappers. “we’re going to bed, i’m going to turn out the lights now.” 

“okay, thanks jaem.” 

he made to leave, but stopped abruptly. “ y/n, remember-” jaemin looked at you sternly, one hand on the light switch, one pointed at you. 

“repeat after me: do not trust how you feel about your entire life past 9pm.” a pause, as he glances at the clock on the wall. “or 1am, for that matter.” 

you laugh. “thanks jaem.” 

“repeat it”, he insists. 

“do not trust how i feel about my life past 1am.” 

“good.” jaemin nods in acknowledgement to haechan, flicks the light switch, and just like that, haechan and you sit alone at the kitchen island, illuminated by the moonlight through the glass doors.

suddenly, it is so quiet you feel like you want to sit in the moment forever. 

you look over at him, and haechan raises his eyebrows. it is a look you know well. care to explain?

“sometimes i get really emotional at night”, you explain. “tend to overthink. jaemin knows that because i’m always calling him talking about one thing or the other.” thinking about how embarrassing it would be if you started oversharing, you quickly promise, “but i’m working on it, don’t worry. i won’t do that to you.” 

haechan smiles. “i don’t mind.” he blinks at you and supports his chin with his hands. “we have all night. tell me what’s on your mind right now.” 

“really?” you look skeptical. once again, you and haechan haven’t really talked that much at all. you think this is maybe the longest conversation you’ve had with him, with so many words. 

“it’s okay if you don’t want to. but i’m just saying, i wouldn’t mind.” he smiles, and it warms your heart. 

asking you softly if you would like something to drink, he gets up to make hot chocolate for the two of you. and you’re sitting there, not even trying, but suddenly the moonlight and the soft sounds of haechan padding around the kitchen are setting off a feeling of butterflies making their way to your throat from your stomach. there are shivers running up and down your spine because there is something tender and fragile in this moment that you can’t pinpoint, and a deep feeling begins to crawl its way, spreading through your toes and fingertips. all you know is it’s the feeling you get before you’re about to spill your heart out to someone. 

“haechan?” 

he hums, and the sound could break your heart. 

“do you ever feel lonely sometimes?” 

you hear the smile in his voice without having to turn around to look at him — its the one that starts at the corners and spreads slowly across his face. “so this is what keeps you up at night.” 

“i’m serious, haechan.” running your hands through your hair, you are aware that you are beginning to sound like a rom-com protagonist, but you don’t care. 

“sorry.” you hear the clink of teaspoons against cups as he stirs the hot chocolate. “i mean, i guess i do feel a little lonely sometimes. but it’s not…an all-consuming thought.” a pause. “i guess it is, for you though, isn’t it?” 

you hesitate, before nodding because fuck it, this has been on your mind for way too long and jaemin was rarely helpful. always with his arm slung over another girl, you had a hard time getting jaemin to admit he got lonely sometimes. 

choosing your words carefully, you continue your spiel. “it’s just…it’s insane to me how we are told that life is so romantic, that there are so many wonderful moments in love we can look forward to, but none of that is happening to me and it doesn’t seem like it will be happening any time soon.” 

haechan comes over to you, and passes you a mug of hot chocolate. soothingly, he places a hand on yours where it rests on the counter. “you have to wait y/n. i promise, one day you’ll find someone who loves you, and all the things you’re dreaming about will happen.” 

“you can’t know that for sure,” you press. “i mean, when will someone write a love letter to me? will we kiss in the rain in the park? will they run to see me at a new year’s eve party?” 

“woah woah woah, slow down.” he nudges your mug with his, indicating that you should drink, so you take a sip of chocolate: it’s rich and warm. 

“i’m sorry. it’s just over the years things just keep getting added to this list of love, and now that i look at it it just seems ever the more impossible.” 

“love isn’t defined by actions and experiences,” haechan muses. 

“but i want to experience these things,” you say, feeling a little shy at how raw this conversation was getting.  

haechan smiles at that, at the yearning hidden in your small voice. the two of you sit for a while, nursing your cups of chocolate, lost in your own thoughts. enjoying the warmth of his hand on yours, you look at the glimmering countertop and choose not to say anything so he doesn’t move his hand away. 

and suddenly, out of the blue, haechan asks you a question. 

“just out of curiosity, what are some things on your list?” 

feeling a little embarrassed, because really — sharing your romantic fantasies with someone was beyond intimate, you mumble, “just simple things. going to the aquarium. being a couple at the amusement park, on the ferris wheel. watching fireworks together. cuddling while watching movies in my bedroom.” 

haechan thinks about it for a moment. you can almost see the wheels turning in his head. you sit in silence for so long, you’re about to ask him what he’s thinking about, or tell him it’s not that serious, when he speaks up.

“i’ll do them with you.” 

you almost choke. “i’m sorry?” 

“i’ll help you complete your list.” he looks at you, as if it’s a completely normal thing he’s just said. 

“but…but i mean…” you blink confusedly. you were supposed to do those things with a boyfriend or someone you loved, not just as friends. that would defeat the whole purpose. 

reading your mind, haechan added “it’ll just be like fake dating. i’ll pretend to be your boyfriend so you can experience all that you want to.” 

you’re beginning to see a little bit of the haechan that you don’t usually get to see, as he grins at you and there’s suddenly something sharp to the smile you always found gentle. “the full, personalised, boyfriend experience. just so you can have a go.” 

you laugh, but that’s just a cover for all the questions running through your head. “i-i don’t know,” you stammer. “does it even count if it’s fake?” 

“you’re the one making the rules.” tilting his head to the side, his eyes glimmer almost teasingly. 

“but what are you suggesting? what do you have in mind?” 

“well…” haechan hums as he thinks about it. “i could do everything with you on the list, as your fake boyfriend. in the timeframe that we’re going about carrying out this activity i’ll be fully and completely your boyfriend, yours to hug and kiss and hold hands with, until it’s over. then we can go back to being…” he smiles at you, hesitantly. “friends? does that work?” 

this haechan makes your palms sweaty, and makes your breath catch. this haechan makes you feel jumpy, and nervous, and impulsive. you think you’d do anything he asked in that moment. 

“okay.” you say slowly, and he smiles wide. “wait no.” you hesitate. “wait, fuck it, yes. let’s do it.” 

he laughs. “are you sure?” 

“wait.” his body heat is radiating off his skin as all his attention is focused on you. lips still pressed into a smile, his eyes bright and far too mesmerizing in the dim moonlight. and you can’t help but wonder then, “what if we catch feelings?” 

tilting his head to the side in consideration, he leans in close, one arm reaching out to cage you in. the two of you are nose to nose. you can count his every eyelash, see the constellation of moles scattered across his face and neck. his breath so close to your own, that your eyes can’t help but flutter shut.

“then that’s the best part.” he whispers.

x 

you try not to think about how you felt when haechan leaned in, or the way the circles he traced into the back of your hand were still burning. you couldn’t help looking for the smell of his perfume on your clothes.

you’re way too easy, y/n. this is only the first real conversation you’ve had with him. 

you’re about to turn off the lights and call it a night, hoping to some power above that you’re able to reign in your emotions come morning, when there’s a light tap at your door. 

“y/n? are you there?” 

it’s him. you spend about 5 seconds debating whether or not to pretend you’ve already fallen asleep, but curiosity eventually wins you over. crossing over to the door, you place a hand on the doorknob. 

“haechan?” 

you can hear him shift from behind the door, pushing it so it keeps shut. “y/n, wait, don’t open the door. i just want to tell you something.” 

slowly, you remove your hand from the doorknob and the latch clicks back, shut.

 “okay…” 

he’s breathing softly, and in the quiet you can hear it as if he were in the room with you. “y/n, i’m sorry i sprung the idea on you just now. you can forget i said anything if it made you uncomfortable.” he shifts his weight from foot to foot, nervously. “especially the part about catching feelings.” 

“it’s fine,” you say softly, but there’s a little disappointment stinging at you. does he regret it? 

“but also, if you’d like, i would really love to do all those things with you,” the words come out in a rush, as if he’s trying to be brave. “as fake lovers. without feelings attached.” 

you don’t know what to say, and you can tell that for each second you stay silent, haechan is growing less and less confident behind the door. you run things through in your head quickly. this plan meant that you were able to jump headlong into romantic experiences you’ve dreamt of for what felt like your whole life, without the potential of them being ruined by a bad date, or waiting for years more to find the right one. and most of all, you trusted haechan with this.

haechan is leaning against the opposite wall, looking at the floorboards, but his head shoots up when you open the door. 

taking a deep breath, you look him in the eyes. “let’s do it.” 

“really?” shocked, he reaches for you — maybe to wrap you in his arms for a hug, but drops them, remembering what he had said about making you feel uncomfortable. putting his hands behind his back to resist the urge to swing you into the air, his expression of surprise melts into a huge smile. one that makes you laugh. 

“you’re more excited about this than me,” you tease, and because you just can’t help it, you step forward and give him a quick hug. “thanks for doing this with me.” 

instantly, his arms loop around your waist, squeezing tightly. “thank you for trusting me.” 

the butterflies in your stomach, however, tell you that you were maybe being a bit too trusting. without feelings attached. because would that really be possible with him, who’s currently making your heart race and your breath catch? 

x

it was a week since the beach house. and while the opening of summer felt optimistic and hopeful, now everyone had to wander back to their lives and figure out exactly what they were going to do for the next three months. jeno and renjun had an ongoing bet that jaemin would be fired from his summer job within the week. and jaemin had a bet with you that jeno and renjun wouldn’t find themselves a job that entire summer.

but you knew exactly what you were going to do for the season. and it all started with getting in the passenger seat of haechan’s car as he took you to a waffles place for breakfast. 

“hey.” 

“hi.” he flashes a quick smile at you. “you look nice today.” 

“really?” you adjust the collar of your shirt self-consciously, checking on your hair through the rearview mirror. 

“no, i lied.” he laughs, and the sound is all too fitting for the morning sunshine that flits in through the windows. “yes, i mean it. i like your shirt.”

“my shirt?” 

“just take the compliment.” 

you can’t help a smile of your own. “okay. i will.”

for a while, he drives in silence. it’s a peaceful sense of calm that you think you’ll come to enjoy. there’s a lot of comfort in just sitting next to haechan, watching his hands move on the wheel, his careful eyes scanning the road.

“so, y/n, i took a look at your list,” he starts. 

you had texted him a small list of the things you were thinking about doing. the classic dinner and a movie. going to the amusement park. sharing a kiss while watching fireworks. 

feeling a little shy all of a sudden in his car, you nod. “is it a bit much?”

“not at all,” he says quickly. “i was just wondering how you’ve never done some of those things before. i would’ve thought going to the amusement park was entry level honeymoon phase stuff.” 

you nod approvingly. “it’s sweet that you think so.” 

“didn’t you use to have a boyfriend?” 

“i did,” you muse. “i dated mark a while ago.” 

“our senior?” 

“yeah.” looking out the window at the cars passing by, you think back to your time with mark. “he was always nice to me. but we never really went out and did things. we broke up because i was someone who loved romance, and he wasn’t.” 

 “i see.” haechan hesitates. there was something about the way you talked about mark that unsettled him, but he couldn’t pinpoint what it was. “do you think you could get back together with him?” 

“trying to pass me off onto someone else already?” you don’t pick up on the shift in haechan’s tone, and mistake it for genuine curiosity. “i guess i could. maybe after these years apart he wants something romantic too.” 

although the morning was warm, haechan felt a sense of cold sweep through him. he tries to brush it off. “well, thank your lucky stars you have me now” 

looking over at him, his hair falling slightly over his eyes, the troubled crease of his brow, your thoughts of mark immediately clear. “thank you,” you say, a little too emotionally for the early morning and this car ride. 

he looks over at you, and his chest eases up at the warmth in your eyes. “don’t mention it,” he says, and smiling at you is the easiest thing in the world.

x

the line for popcorn at the movies had stopped moving. fidgeting from the cold of the cinema, you wrap your arms around yourself as haechan stands by you, scrolling on his phone for a deal that he saw for a discounted drink combo. one arm slung casually over your shoulders, you lean into his touch just a little. 

today he was helping you out by taking you for a date. specifically, the classic dinner and a movie idea that has been long since rendered obsolete, but you had never had a chance to do. standing in line, his fingertips brushing your shoulder, you recall how he had showed up 5 minutes early outside your apartment, holding a small bouquet of flowers, and doing the thing where he flicked his fingers to splay out the two movie tickets he had ordered early on. the two of you had dinner at a nice italian restaurant, and he had offered to pay but you insisted, since you were technically making him do all of this. 

“are you cold?” drawing you out of your thoughts, you turn to see haechan, concern causing his eyebrows to furrow and his heart-shaped lips to form a slight pout. “why didn’t you bring a jacket? you knew we were going to watch a movie.” 

the line moves forward by a fraction of an inch, and you take a step forward, haechan now standing slightly behind you. “i completely forgot,” you whined. “i just haven’t watched a movie at the cinema in a while.” 

haechan bites back a smile, and slots his phone into his back pocket. the arm that is slung over your shoulder drops to your waist, while his other comes to circle around you from behind, and before you know it he’s pressed up against your back. you can feel the heat of his skin even with the thick hoodie he’s wearing over. dropping his head onto your shoulder, you feel him smile against your neck. “there,” he whispers. “now you won’t be cold anymore.” 

trying to steady your nerves, you stare resolutely ahead. “couldn’t have just given me your jacket like a normal person?” 

he shakes his head cutely, his soft hair tickling your jaw. “nope.” 

you make sure your voice stays resolutely calm. “then what will we do during the movie? you’ll be sitting next to me.” 

the line moves forward and haechan straightens, but his arms never leave your side. “guess you’ll have to hold on tight.”

and so you do. he ends up draping the hoodie over you during the movie, and he clings onto your arm, head resting on your shoulder. you hold on after the movie when he drops you off at home, grabbing onto his arm to steady yourself getting out of his car.

you hold on when he takes you for the next date at the amusement park; and when he tilts your chin upwards to press a kiss at the corner of your lips, your top-of-the-ferris-wheel moment,  you squeeze his hands in yours and move so your lips slot against his. you tell him with your smile that it’s alright. 

you hold on to him through your dates to the local aquarium, and to the beach. you let him pull you close as he drags you around the mall window-shopping, and as he guides you through clubs and restaurants. 

and if some part of you gets scared that it might be getting too real, if some part of you feels a little hurt whenever he brings up the list or when he removes your hand from his, you ignore it as best you can. 

x

“thanks for inviting me to this event,” you whisper, as you step into the doorway of the mansion, which really looks like a castle from the level of grandeur that meets your eyes. a man steps forward to take your coat, and you feel giddy. 

“nah, sorry for stealing you away on some random summer night.” haechan smiles, and you feel a tug in your heart. in his suit, he looks like he belongs here with all this finery, the slopes of his shoulders and the slight cinch of the waist looking elegant under the chandeliers, the rings scattered on his hands catching the light in pretty ways. “besides, it’s all part of the experience, isn’t it?” 

right. kissing and fireworks. trying to disguise the squeezing feeling in your chest, you smile back. “why do you keep bringing that up?” 

“do you not want me to?” there’s something careful about the way he looks at you. 

“i don’t.” you say, quietly. 

“then i won’t.” he extends an arm for you to take. “tonight you’ll just be my date.” and with your heart thundering up your throat, he steers you into the warmth of the room.

you spend most of the night in the same giddy spiral of emotions, as he twirls you on the dance floor expertly, and winces dramatically when you step on his toes. your hands never leave each others’ grasps, as you stand around tables eating finger-food and drinking champagne. as the party went on, he introduced you through holding up your clasped palms to each of his parent’s friends, earning a lot of cooing and fussing about. 

“haechan, how well you’ve grown up!” 

“is this your girlfriend? haechan is so lucky to be with such a beautiful girl like you.” 

“haechan! come say hello to the kids, they miss you!” 

“this won’t take long,” he mumbles sadly to you, as an aunt of his insists he meet his cousins upstairs. “i’ll meet you at the bar, okay?” 

“okay,” you smile, inwardly dying at the idea of haechan interacting with kids. as if he couldn’t get infinitely cuter. “have fun!” 

“don’t let someone steal my date away,” he warns, as he’s pulled away. “i mean it – you’re mine tonight.” 

you’re mine. you feel like you’re floating on a cloud as you make your way to the bar, you’re sure you’re at least swaying on your feet. 

“woah.” a hand reaches out to steady you, helping you settle into a seat. “too much champagne?” 

you gape at the man who’s sitting next to you now. “mark?” 

fidgeting with the collar of his suit and looking very uncomfortable, he nods in greeting. “didn’t know you were coming to this thing.” 

you look at him. he had gotten a haircut recently. but besides that in terms of appearance, he looked just as he did when the two of you were together, except for the fact that something about his demeanor was off. he looked tired, and there was something weary about his posture that hadn’t been there before. 

“i was invited,” you tell him. “how are you here?” 

“one of the ladies there is my aunt.” he pauses. “you’ve never met her. are you enjoying yourself?”

you think back to haechan’s smile as he sways underneath the lights, holding your hips. before you know it, you’re smiling too. “it’s a nice night. this place is really beautiful.” 

mark studies you for a moment.  “how have you been?” 

“i’ve been alright.” you figure since there aren’t any hard feelings, you don’t have to make anything up as you would for an ex you were bitter over. mark was still a nice person, and he had been good to you in the right ways. 

“it’s summer, so i’ve been going out more i guess. how about you?”

“i’ve been alright.” he downs his glass of white wine and signals for another one in a fluid motion, and you raise your eyebrows. shaking his head, he changes his answer. 

“okay, things could be better.” 

“why?” 

“just been feeling a little lonely.” 

you are so taken aback, that you let out a laugh. he looks at you, affronted, and somehow the furrow of his eyebrows makes you laugh even harder. 

“i’m sorry,” you calm yourself down. “i wasn’t laughing at you, not really. it’s just…” you take a sip of your own drink. “i was in the exact same situation say a few months ago.” at his bewildered expression, you gesture. “please continue, though.”

mark shrugs and goes along with it. “i guess i was just realizing that i wasn’t as happy as i could be. there were times where i would be – i don’t know, having dinner, and i’d just think ‘damn. really wish i had someone with me right now.’ you know?” 

“i do know.” you nod. “it’s crazy we’re experiencing the same thing, after, you know, so many years.” 

“yeah.” he looks at you carefully. “crazy.” 

“hey baby.” 

a hand slides possessively around your waist, and you jump. the next thing you know, a pair of lips are kissing their way down your neck, as another hand snakes its way around you until you are fully in their embrace. craning your head up, you already know who you’re going to see.

“hi haechan,” you say breathlessly. 

“sorry for leaving you for so long,” he murmurs, intermittently, as he continues to plant wet kisses on your neck. “the kids were going crazy.” 

feeling like you were about to burn up into a crumble of ashes, you splutter out, “we have company.” 

pulling away from you, haechan turns and stares at mark, coldly. “sorry, i didn’t notice.” his hand still draped over you, you can almost hear the forced normalcy in his voice when he asks, “and you are…?” 

“mark,” mark supplies, awkwardly fidgeting with the coaster under his glass. 

looking up at him, you see a flash of something race through haechan’s eyes, as he tightens his hold on you. “mark. well, hello, and goodbye.” 

he pulls you to your feet, and you set down your drink hurriedly and latch onto his arm. “say goodbye to mark, sweetheart.” 

“bye mark. things will get better, i’m sure of it,” you say, still left breathless by the turn of events. 

raising his eyebrows, he turns back to the bar. “see you around y/n.” 

“i don’t think so,” haechan chirps brightly, before tugging you away and past the throes of people, down a narrow hallway that was deserted. 

“haechan, what are you doing?” 

even in the dim lit of the hall, you can see his glower. “what were you talking to mark about?” 

“i don’t know…” you shake your head, still a bit lost. “just about life, i guess.” 

“did he ask to get back together with you?” he blurts out, suddenly. 

“what? no!” you splutter. 

“i heard him say he was lonely. who the fuck says that to their ex unless they want to get back together?” 

you take the hard look in his eyes. hesitantly, you call out. “haechan?” 

he huffs. 

“he didn’t want to get back together, i promise.” he looks at you, warily. “and even if he did, i wouldn’t want to get back together with him.” 

it is almost laughable how quickly his expression clears. 

“you wouldn’t?” 

“i wouldn’t,” you confirm. “i told you, i’m completely over it.” 

“okay,” he sighs, in something that sounds like relief. and before you could even register it, he pulls you into a hug, crushing you against him. “sorry, i guess i got nervous.” 

“that’s alright,” you whisper, wrapping your arms around him firmly, feeling his heartbeat against your ears, and you smile when you realise it’s racing. 

“hey it’s almost midnight,” he dips down to whisper into your hear. “do you want to go to the balcony to watch the fireworks?” as you nod, he leads you gently away from the corridor and through a set of glass doors, stepping out onto a beautiful balcony. the night air smells like honey and roses, and the sky is clear and bright with moonlight.  

you feel a tug at your fingertips, and you look to your side to find him smiling as he looks up. 

“what are you smiling about?” 

he hums. “i’m smiling about the fact that my date is the prettiest girl at the party.” 

you pretend to wrinkle your nose, and use your free hand to hit him on the shoulder. “corny.” 

“you love it.” 

and because it’s been weeks, and haechan is slowly making a home in your heart, you decide you need to at least start acknowledging the honest truth of the matter, so you don’t say anything. 

as the night sky fills with fireworks and the people inside the party cheer, he turns to hold your face in his hands, the tenderness and warmth in his eyes unparalleled by the lights in the sky. 

you tilt your face up to kiss him, and as his arms fall to your waist, with a jolt you remember his voice at the bar. hey baby. the term of endearment swirls in your chest, and makes you drape your arms around his shoulders and pull him just a little closer. the two of you don’t break apart for what feels like hours, as you lose yourself in the feeling of his soft lips on yours, the brush of your noses, and the slight tremble of his fingertips on your cheeks. it feels and tastes as real as you have ever known. 

x

except it’s not real. and you can’t ignore it. so you avoid it. 

keeping busy and finally diving into all the things you wanted to do for the summer was your only way of telling haechan you couldn’t make it for the next ‘date’, or the next. you can tell he’s a little confused, but since the whole thing was your idea, he’s trying his best to respect whatever pace you’re deciding to go with. you push it all away, and you try to live life without thinking of him and his hands, the way he closes his eyes in bliss when the sunlight makes his skin glow, the way his hair looks after he tugs his hoodie off, and the feel of his lips when he presses his face into the crook of your neck when he thinks you’re not paying attention. 

it’s late. you think you’ve definitely just had the longest day you’ve had all summer, running errands all around the city. all you wanted to do was lie in bed and put on a show that you could fall asleep to. lazily changing into your favorite pajamas, you set up your laptop on your bed, and you’re just about to press play when your phone screen lit up the dark room. 

jaem: wru

one of jaemin’s summer house parties must’ve been today. you were so tired that you forgot. 

y/n: too tired :( i don’t think i’ll go sorry

jaem: haechan needs you

you’re sure your heart actually stops beating for a second. haechan needs you. and just like that, your imagination kicks into overdrive, wondering what he could possibly need you for. 

holding your breath, you watch the three dots on your screen indicating jaemin typing for what seems like ages before your phone buzzes again. 

jaem: super hammered needs u to drive him home lol sry my bad that sounded weird

you let out a sigh of relief, but you can’t shake the adrenaline that rushed into you when you first saw the message.

y/n: can’t you let him crash at your place 

jaem: he won’t stop ASKING for u it’s driving everyone crazy 

a voice message comes through. he plays it, and it’s someone breathing really heavily. you’re beginning to wonder if jaemin sent this on accident, when haechan’s voice, low and husky from the alcohol, murmurs through the phone. 

“y/n can you hear me? i wanna….wanna see you… please…i’ll do anything…” 

“YOU’RE NOT BEING KIDNAPPED,” jaemin’s voice rings out, his words a little slurred but doing nothing to conceal the impatience in his tone. “GET A GRIP MAN.” 

“PLEAAAAASE”, he raises his voice in an impressive whine, and you wince in second-hand embarrassment because you’re sure the entire living room must have heard that. “I MISS YOU.” 

the voice message ends.

jaem: what a loser but yeah you get the gist of it

y/n: okay i’m on the way. can you get him on the phone? 

jaem: do it yourself

x

on the drive there, you do call haechan. 

he picks up halfway through the first ring of the phone. “y/n?”

“hi haechan. i’m on the way.” 

“don’t lie to me,” he mumbles. “honk your car horn.” 

“i’m not going to do that!,” you hiss, as if he were right here with you. “there are cars around.” 

“liar,” he breathes. there’s a pause, and when you next speak you’re startled to hear his voice wobble. “liar. you’re not coming to get m-” 

you slam your palm into your car horn, feeling your cheeks burn. 

on the other end, he sniffles, and you presume he’s nodding at you. “okay. stay safe.” 

“i will.” you hesitate. “is everything okay? did something happen at the party? are you hurt?”

he sighs over the phone. “everything is not okay,” he sniffles again, “because you’re not here.” 

you swallow hard. you want to take a hand off the wheel and slap yourself, because you need to remember that he’s not himself right now, and he might regret this all in the morning. you calm yourself down before responding as lightly as you can. “haechan i’ll be there any minute now, okay? but you have to tell me if something happened and if you want to talk about it.” 

he breathes heavily into the receiver. eventually, he mumbles out, “nothing happened.” shuffling, a pause, and then… “just miss you that’s all. i want to do more…more experience-y stuff with you.” more to himself than to you, he rambles on. “we’re falling behind you know. how are we going to finish this by the end of summer?” 

a shot of pain twists at your guts, and you feel nauseous. so he really just wants to get all of this over and done with. you want to stop the car so you can throw up. you want to turn it back around. you’re suddenly regretting dropping everything just because he wanted to see you, because if this was why… 

you keep driving on autopilot. the call has gone silent, but you can hear haechan breathing on the other end, and it’s driving you mad. you have no right to yell at him, but you almost do. 

when you pull up at jaemin’s driveway, you clear your throat. your voice controlled, you say, “i’m here now. you want me to come in and get you?” 

“okay. i’m in the 1st floor bathroom.” 

x

the front door swings open, and you’re met with jaemin. at first, you think he’s going to tell you off for taking so long, but something in your face causes the words to die in his throat. 

“y/n?” he asks. “are you okay?” 

and before you know it, you’re wrapped in his arms in a hug and you’re bawling like you hadn’t for months. the built up pressure of avoiding haechan, of having to get into character as his girlfriend and having to get out of character just as often, and all your confusion at your feelings leave you sobbing and you just can’t stop. jaemin’s running his hands down your back and making soft, soothing noises. 

you realise that you just really, really, missed your best friend. 

“i’m s-sorry,” you choke out. “i haven’t come round to see you ever since the start of s-summer.” 

“it’s okay,” he shakes his head, and leans back to look at you, wiping tears off your face gently. “we’ve both been busy.” 

but you shake your head. “i really need to talk to you. i need your opinion in my life.” 

he laughs at that. “i never thought i’d hear you say that.” 

you just go back to hugging him as you slowly calm down, and the constricting feeling in your chest eases. but after a moment, your phone buzzes in your pocket, and when you check it you see that haechan has spammed your text messages with a bunch of ‘?????????’ and sad faces. 

jaemin, ever the nosiest person in the room, is looking at your phone with a frown. “you never told me you started dating haechan, by the way.” 

ignoring the twist in your stomach, you shake your head. “that’s because i’m not.” jaemin raises his eyebrows, and you elaborate. “we’re just doing coupley things. for the experience.” 

narrowing his eyes because he knows you way too well, jaemin asks, “was this something you decided in the middle of the night? it’s sounding very classic middle-of-the-night-y/n ….” but at the look of frustration on your face, he immediately drops it. “okay, okay. not now. i get it.” 

“y/n? are you here?”

you still, as haechan shuffles into view. he squints, until he confirms that it’s you, and suddenly he’s rushing towards you giddily and unsteadily, his socked feet slipping and sliding on the floor of the hallway until hes collapsed in your arms. 

and there it is: his damn face in your neck again.

“wondered where you were, angel” you feel his hot breath against the base of your neck, and shivers shoot down your spine. “can i call you that? is it allowed?” 

exchanging glances with you, seeing how this was slowly making you go insane, jaemin reaches out hesitantly to pry him off of you. “haechan, maybe it’s best if you stay at my place tonight-” 

but haechan is quick to shrug him off, and with an agility that he shouldn’t be capable of in his state he pivots behind you and clings onto your back. his face once again buried in your neck. 

“don’t wanna,” he shakes his head vigorously. “wanna stay with y/n.” 

“y/n doesn’t want to stay with you,” jaemin starts forward again, making eye contact with you as he confirms, “right, y/n?” 

haechan spins you around in his hold, with the most wounded expression you’ve ever seen from him, or anyone for that matter. his eyes filling with tears, his cheeks flushed and his lip wobbling in an alarming way, he chokes out, “you d-don’t want…to s-stay…with me?” 

“i do, i do.” you assure him, trying to soothe him by drawing circles on his back with your thumb as he bites back sobs. over haechan’s back, you can see jaemin sigh defeatedly. “what am i supposed to do, he’s about to cry!” you hiss at him.

“he can cry on cue,” jaemin mouths. 

pause. what?

you look back at haechan’s face, but every expression seems to be genuine: his bottom lip caught between his teeth and the tears shimmering in his lashes, his hands — which he barely seems to be aware of — caressing your sides nervously, as if afraid you were going to disappear into thin air. 

“haechan,” you start. “are you lying to me?” 

x

but that was the wrong thing to say. the better part of the next hour was spent trying to console a weeping and sobbing haechan on his knees, who would not stop clutching your waist and biting jaemin when he tried to pry him off of you. and then it was guiding him to your car, and another round of consoling as you assured him that no, you weren’t going to disappear as you were driving, and no, you could not drive one-handed so you could not hold his hand the entire way, but yes, he could put his hand on your thigh if he promised he wouldn’t do anything else. 

you end up reaching, and then driving away from haechan’s apartment, because he would not leave the car without you and you figured that you might as well get a good night’s sleep at your own home. and somehow, you end up digging out some of mark’s old clothes out from the back of your closet for him to wear. and now, you’re standing between his legs, brushing his teeth for him while he looks at you adoringly. 

he mumbles something intelligible, his mouth full of toothpaste foam, and you shake your head tiredly at him. 

“nuh-uh. rinse your mouth out first.” 

you hold the spare mug up to his mouth and his lips wrap around the rim of it obediently. turning to spit in the sink, he swivels back to face you, his arms never leaving your side. 

“i’m sorry.” he says, quietly. 

“it’s okay. i know you’d do the same for me,” you say, patiently, because it’s true. if you were drunk, haechan would definitely drop everything to make sure you were safe. 

that you were sure of, because that was just the kind of person he was. 

“no,” he tugs his bottom lip with his teeth again, looking nervous. “it’s not about that.” his arms remove themself from your waist and he wraps them around himself instead. all of a sudden, you’ve never felt colder. 

“what do you mean?” 

he doesn’t look at you in the eye when he answers. “sorry for bringing up our deal. that’s not why i miss you.” 

you think you could cry. “really?” he nods, but his eyes are still on the floor. “haechan…” you press. “look at me.” 

he looks up. he looks so pretty right there, his heart-shaped lips and moles scattered haphazardly over his cheeks and nose. 

“so why do you miss me?” you ask, hoping against hope. his lips part, and for a split second you think he’s going to lean forward and kiss you. 

but then his lips press together. he shakes his head. and again. and then he slides off the counter, brushes past you and out of the bathroom despite you calling his name. and when you break yourself out of your daze and walk, trembling slightly, to your bedroom, you see him tucked under the covers, fast asleep. 

x

“i still don't’ get this ‘quiet haechan’ thing you keep going on about,” jaemin chews thoughtfully on a forkful of salad. “but okay, i’ll bite.” 

you’re having lunch with jaemin for the first time in weeks. with nothing much going on in his life for the summer, him waving you off when you apologised again about not checking in with him, the two of you breezed past your usual topics and quickly moved on to the elephant in the room: you and your fake relationship with haechan. 

nervously, you pick at your fries. “do you think i should just tell him we can stop now?” 

jaemin shook his head. “that’s not the main problem.” ever the mom best friend, he takes a pause for dramatic effect before leaning in. “the main problem is that your catching feelings policy is completely shit.” 

you glare at him, but don’t manage to keep it up. he’s right. “you think i should ask him about that?” 

“of course.” jaemin shrugs. “but you could also just confess and see what happens.” at your mortified expression, he raises a hand to calm you down. “you never know until you try.” 

unwilling to address the fact that he assumed you were in love with haechan, and the fact that he was probably right, you argue back. “you’re the one who’s friends with the both of us. do you have any idea if he maybe likes me or not?” 

“i’m not telling you,” jaemin says, stubbornly. “you have to make the decision and accept the risks it comes with.” 

you put your head in your hands. “i really hate you sometimes.”

x 

as it turned out, ‘sometimes’ turned out to be occuring quite frequently, because jaemin seemed hell bent on getting you to talk to haechan, even if it was through the most roundabout ways. 

such as inviting the beach-house group of friends over for dinner the next day, just so you had a reason to talk to haechan. 

and that led you to where you were, currently, jaemin putting the cap back on his black marker as the words “ASK ABT CATCH FEELINGS POLICY” scrawled over your wrist and palm. 

“i’ll remember to ask him, i swear,” you say impatiently, trying to wriggle your arm out of his grasp, but jaemin was a man on a mission. 

“i don’t trust you,” he insists. “this way, even if you don’t bring it up, he’ll read it off your arm, and you will both talk it out.” finishing up with a few exclamation points, he caps his marker triumphantly. 

you’re about to head to the bathroom to wash it off, when haechan shuffles into the living room, and embarrassingly it’s as if your mind is wiped clean. 

between the night he slept over and now, the two of you had only seen each other once. he had called to apologize for bothering you the night of jaemin’s party, and you made plans to have lunch together, not dinner (because night time was always an emotional affair for the two of you, as evidenced in the past few weeks). 

sitting in the sun, staring at him while he talked, the two of you eating in semi-silence, was enough for you to realise that no matter what time of day it was you would always be a little too giddy over him. the two of you, in some sort of mutual agreement, had left it at that — him bidding you goodbye with a pat on the shoulder, of all things. 

and now, standing in front of you, his eyes just as confusing with their tenderness, you think that jaemin may be onto something. 

“so how can i help?” haechan looks around the room, his mind on the dinner. “do we have all the materials? or…” 

“everything’s in the kitchen, haechan,” you nod in the direction of the dining table. “i’ll show you.” 

haechan nods, more to himself than you. then, hesitantly, he starts, “y/n…” 

something had to give. but not now, not as you felt everything in you crashing down, your heart threatening to spill over at the edges just at the sight of him again. 

“we’re good.” you interrupt. “everything’s going to be okay, haechan.” 

he bites his lip. 

“it will be,” you insist. “we’ll talk later, okay?” 

his expression clears a little at that. “okay.” 

x

in the car on the way home, jaemin insisting haechan drive you, it begins to drizzle slightly. after the moment from just now, the two of you had almost been able to go back to normal, working side by side and sitting together during dinner. topics opening up between you, discussing what happened in the days you hadn’t seen each other. things were comfortable, and you almost felt like you could go back to ignoring the aching feeling in your chest. 

it slowly starts to end when the car peels into the street in front of your apartment. the two of you go quiet, and haechan’s body is tense as he looks straight ahead.

you realise you hadn’t even brought up what you had meant to say. 

“do you…maybe…want to come inside?” you suggest. “we could watch a movie?”

“it’s late.” he says, almost automatically. he looks over at you, and you look so hesitant and sad. fuck. something stirs inside his chest, and suddenly he wants to do anything to take that look away from your face. 

“i mean, i could. just for a movie.” 

you smile, and haechan relaxes.

x

cozied up on your bed, haechan in a pair of sweats he had left over some other time, you slump against him as your eyes flicker between watching the movie on your laptop screen, and watching him. something about the way things were going tonight told you this might be the last time you could be with him like this, and you wanted to cherish it while you could. 

the music swells in the random drama film you picked, and you are feeling that feeling again, the one that you get when you’re about to spill your soul out, and even with haechan’s warmth against you — his arm tucked into your waist and your head resting against his chest, the reality that he wasn’t yours was crashing down all the walls in your heart. 

he realises you’re crying before you do, as he registers the jagged breathing from your chest, and the soft sounds you’re making. 

“y/n? what’s wrong?” 

“i-i, i just.” you breathe, and your sobs wreck through your words, each one stabbing painfully at his chest. “i’m just s-so tired of not h-having someone who loves me that much.” 

running a hand up and down your back, haechan makes soft cooing noises as you bury your face in his chest. “okay. so watching this film was a baaaad idea.” 

you’re muffled sobs soak through his hoodie, and you press it closer to your face because it smells safe and it smells like him. your emotions running away from you, you splutter out, “maybe i’ll never find s-someone. maybe i just have to deal w-with it. these experiences are just t-temporary fixes, aren’t they? i’ll never find someone who l-loves me. i mean, right now i am so in love with you and you don’t even seem to c-care —” 

haechan stills. he sits there, motionless, you still quivering in his arms, as his brain kicks into overdrive. 

you’re in love with him? 

incoherent, you’re still talking on and on, and suddenly he knows it isn’t something he should be hearing. 

“shut up.” he says, quietly, but you ignore him and ramble on. “shut up,” he insists. 

“you d-don’t want me,” you sob, and somewhere in the back of your mind you know you’ll be embarrassed about this later, but for now all you could focus on was the fact that haechan wasn’t reacting because he was probably completely disgusted at the idea of even being with you. “i-i started to ignore you because it was too difficult to be around you, and suddenly you show up drunk and asking for me, and then you just act like nothing happened and i have the feeling that i’ll never see you again-”

“fuck it,” he breathes, and suddenly he’s holding your face in his hands, moving you away from his chest. “shut up, y/n. please.” and then he is kissing you, his mouth moving on yours, begging you to understand. you think he’s drawing the breath straight from your lungs, and you’re sure your lips will bruise, but you kiss him back with even more fervor, settling your weight on his lap as you lean into him, and he groans. 

breaking away from you, breathing heavily, he reaches for your hands and begins to press kisses to your knuckles, trying to ease you. 

“haechan…” you start, because everything is so confusing to you at this moment. “don’t-you don’t mean it-”

“what’s this?” he interrupts, as he flips your palm up, raking the sleeves of your hoodie upwards so the words “ASK ABT CATCH FEELINGS POLICY!!!!!”, smudged but unmistakable, could be read even in the dim room. 

“oh, y/n…” he whispers, reaching to stroke your cheek. leaning into his palm, completely lost in his touch, you mumble on. 

“jaemin said our catching feelings policy was shit…” you blurt out. “and i agree. i want a new one. i want to be allowed to love you.” 

gently, haechan continues to whisper to you. “you’re the one making the rules.” trembling, his arms wrap around you, and he rocks you in his hold tenderly. “you’ve always been the one making the rules. i would do anything you told me to. i would love you if you asked.” 

you don’t understand any of the words he’s saying. “no,” you raise your voice a little louder, even though he’s still speaking in that low voice. “you don’t want me.” your eyes fill with tears, you can see it now: he’s comforting you, he’s lying to you because you’re crying, and haechan is nothing but good to you, a kindness and gentleness in everything he does that you just know you’ll never feel again. 

“y/n that’s not true,” he shakes his head resolutely. “please believe me.” 

his voice is patient and soothing, and it’s that tone which slowly calms you down. the gentle rhythm of his hands tracing circles on your arms allowing you to breathe easier, and relax a little in his hold to be able to really look at him. and it’s the worry in his eyes, and softness in the way he’s looking at you which makes something click into place in your head. 

and so what if everything in your relationship with him was supposed to be fake — the dates, the moments he’s introduced you as his girlfriend. everything else in between had started to be real for you — the kisses, the time you told him not to mention the deal or the list or the experience at all and so he didn’t, brushing his teeth for him as he sat on the counter, skin brushing against yours.

and so what if it was real for him too — the times where he’s held your hand or pulled you close when you weren’t paying attention, the nights on the drive back when he would look over at you incessantly?

untangling yourself from him, you reach for the notebook and pen you keep on your nightstand.  he doesn’t stop you, tilting his head in confusion. 

“what are you doing?” 

holding it out to him, your heart hammering in your chest, you gesture for him to take it. “write me something i can read when i wake up. it’s so i have…,” you take a breath. “it’s so i have proof that it’s real.”

something stirs in haechan’s chest. taking the pen in his hands, he begins to scrawl on the notebook, looking up at you as he’s writing. 

“if you still feel the same way, call me as soon as possible, okay?” 

“okay,” you promise, breathlessly. 

the yearning in your eyes is driving him crazy. guiltily, he reaches for you again, and slots his lips in yours, holding you tightly against him. as if kissing you was the last thing he would ever get to do. 

you have half a mind to move into his lap, wrap your legs around his waist and keep him with you forever, but already he pries your hands away from him and heads for the door, reluctance making his movements disjointed and shaky. 

“go to sleep, y/n.” he says, gently. “i’ll see you soon.” 

and with that, he’s gone, and you’re left on your bed, the note at your bedside burning a hole into your table. shutting away your laptop, you curl up under the covers, and somewhere in your mind you pray that the light of day doesn’t treat you too harshly.  

x

dear y/n, 

last night you told me that you were in love with me. i don’t know if it was the loneliness, or even if it was too late at night for you to be thinking straight. all i know is that i love you too. i didn’t think you would want me unless we were playing pretend. but now i can’t look at you without realising i am completely fucking in love with you. i’m sorry that you never knew, and that somehow i messed up to the point where you didn’t believe me when i told you. if you wake up tomorrow and you still want me, call me. i will do everything with you again if it means it’ll be real. 

love, haechan

x 

it’s a little difficult to be around your friend group when they’re all like this. 

summer was drawing to a close, the optimism at the start and the feeling of endless days under the sun slowly fading to a blistering heat, which then slowly tapered out into a hazy sense of being in limbo. soon the seasons would change, the days get shorter and the nights grow longer, the loneliest parts of the year stretching out before everyone. the sense that this had been another summer of wasted potential, the sense of taking a deep breath before the dive, of holding love close to one’s heart and hoping it’s enough to last through the winter, hanging in the air.

you had walked over to jaemin’s apartment for breakfast with everyone, practicing the entire way. you were going to tell haechan you wanted to talk to him. pull him away from the group, and talk to him in a separate room. the letter from last night, from him, seeming to burn right through your palms, words you wanted to echo right back at him. 

but when you opened the door, you realise he wasn’t there. instead, everyone else sat slumped around the living room, prodding at various snacks and cans, and waving at you lazily as you picked your way through them, looking for the familiar mop of brown hair and eyes you had come to love. 

“jaemin,” you make your way to your friend, who’s crumpled into the couch himself. 

“hey y/n,” he smiles at you easily. “how did it go yesterday?” 

“well it’s still going,” you admit. “where’s haechan?” 

jaemin furrows his brow. “i swear he just arrived. i think he said something about getting us breakfast.” 

your body moves before you can think to, winding through the room and carrying you towards the front door and out into the driveway. and there it is — his car, slowing backing out. and through the window you can see him, looking over his shoulder, the familiar twist of his neck you knew so well. the arm he would throw over the passenger seat. 

you call out to him, and by some miracle he hears you. he stops the car jerkily, and you rush towards him. he had just barely gotten out of the car when you fall into his arms — you think you never want to be separated from him again. 

squeezing you against his chest, he murmurs next to your ear. “you read my message?” you nod. “i meant every word,” he says, kissing the crown of your head. “i know we’ve done this all backwards. really sometimes i just wish i could go back and ask you out like i should have done.” 

“i don’t regret it,” you tell him truthfully. stepping back from his hold, you interlock his hands with yours, relishing the familiar feeling. “i don’t regret any of the things we did.” 

“me neither.” he hesitates. “actually…maybe i regret getting drunk at jaemin’s party.” he shuffles his feet. “i missed you a lot, and i feel like i should have just told you then.” 

“maybe.” pause. “or you should tell me again now, because i don’t think i’ve heard you say it.” and it’s something that’s a little teasing, because at this point you know he loves you just as much as you love him, but haechan takes it so seriously — straightening up, he holds your hands against his chest, looking deep into your eyes. you feel a little out of breath from the way he’s looking at you. 

“i’m really sorry,” he starts. “for everything. i love you so much. everything i ever told you, every time we’ve touched, it was real for me.” 

“and if i believe you?” 

he smiles. and it’s a look you know so well, the familiarity in reading his expressions and talking to him without words hitting you full force. 

“just tell me you love me too,” he says, softly. “not because it’s at night, and you’re feeling lonely, and not while you’re crying. was it real for you too?”

and even though you’re soon interrupted by jaemin, who urges the two of you to go get breakfast together. even though the two of you keep making lists of places you want to go, and things which feel like love to you — haechan presenting you with music to dance in the kitchen to, afternoons spent restaurant hopping and nights spent driving to look at the ocean and sit under the stars. even as winter eventually rolls around, and the two of you bundle yourselves up in the apartment, his cheeks perpetually a shade of red which makes you want to kiss him —

neither of you forget the way it all started. that first time he held your hand in the middle of the kitchen and warmed you all the way through.  because everything was real. and in a way, it always had been.

[wizzdot]

The Patron Saint of One Way Trips

Ch22

Description: Simon finally breaks…

*Laika's (Y/N's) POV*

I have lost track of time. The last thing I remember is Graves climbing over me.. or wait.. Kyle..? No, Kyle is in Amsterdam.. My head thumps and my entire body aches. I should never have allowed myself to be so vulnerable in front of Graves.. he was an unmated Alpha for fuck sake.. and I was an unmated whatever-the-fuck-I-am. It was a dangerous move.

I slowly blink my eyes open and try to figure out where I am. I can't hear anyone. It smells familiar.. Whereever I am, it's pitch black and cosy. I feel around and find my phone. I furrow my brow in confusion. I quickly realise that I'm not wearing the crusty, wet, bloody Shadow gear anymore.. I'm in a massive, soft hoodie and some of my leggings that I had bought when John and Kyle took me shopping. What the fuck...?

I use the light from my phone screen to light up the room. MY NEST CUPBOARD. I squeak happily, I'd made it back.. where were the Alphas..? What had I done while I was out of it.. Oh god... I hope everyone made it home safe.. Johnny and the Lieutenant must have went after Graves.. What about Rudy and Alejandro..

It's just past midnight, I realise, when I check my phone. And it was Tuesday. I don't know how long that means I've been out of it.. I decide to get up - my stomach rumbling and my body desperately needing to get something to drink.

As soon as I stand and switch the light on, I see that I'm wearing the Lieutenant’s hoodie. I didn't know he had a hoodie.. I glance down to the cupboard and see so many belongings that aren't mine. I see Kyle's familiar hoodie, Johnny's towel (I can tell it's his because its basically a giant Scotland flag), John's boonie hat and.. wait.. is that a balaclava..? Why would the Lieutenant leave me something.. he - he wouldn't have cared for my comfort. The only thing missing, I notice sadly, is my hanky. Probably gone forever..

The longer I stand, the more and more light headed I feel. Sweat prickles my brow but I feel cold. I stumble towards the door and feel my way down the corridor, in the direction of the kitchen. A particularly harsh stomach cramp rolls from head to toe, causing me to grit my teeth and groan under my breath. I didn't want to wake anyone up, so I stayed as quiet as possible, given the ridiculous time of night that I'd decided to come round from whatever feral state I'd been in.

I finally reach the kitchen and immediately dive into the fridge. Nothing really stands out to me so I step back and look in the cupboards. I find some oranges - labelled 'easy peel' - mmmm.

I slowly peel the first orange and turn to put the peelings in the bin when I get the fright of my life.

The Lieutenant is sitting on the sofa watching me. I can’t help the whimper that falls from my lips, the peeled orange long forgotten as it hits the floor and rolls away under the table.

He stares back at me, with an unreadable expression in his eyes. He is wearing a plain black balaclava now, which leaves much more of his face exposed. It has a much wider eye hole, which means I can see the top of his nose. Oh shit I'm staring...

He clears his throat roughly. "Didn't read the note Kyle left, then" he says bluntly.

What note?! "Uhm.. no, sorry Lieutenant.. what note..?" I whisper back, nervously. Another cramp hits me but I try to control my reaction seeing as I've got an angry Lieutenant staring me down.

"The note on your door. It said to stay in your nest and text Cap if you needed anythin', too late for that now though, eh?" my stomach drops as his gravelly voice tells me how I've disobeyed orders that I wasn't even aware of..

"S-sorry, I - I didn't know.." - "Shouldn't be out here in your state, little one.." he growls.

I furrow my brow "Wh-what state..? I don't understa-"

He interrupts me with a laugh "you can't fuckin' smell yourself..? We've all been holdin' back our ruts since you fuckin' got lifted onto the Helo, clinging to Cap like a fuckin' leech.."

"Wh-what..? I don't remember.. I can't smell myself.. I don't know.." I stutter, tripping over my own words.

The Lieutenant narrows his eyes at my confusion. "What the hell d'ya mean you can't remember...?" he barks at me "What's the last thing you recall..?" he continues.

"Gr-Graves.. on me.." I sniffle - "Then.. I think I blacked out.." I sniff again - "No, you didn't black out, little one, you went feral.. think you started presenting too, Omega.." he says with confidence in his voice.

Something inside of me snaps when he uses the word 'Omega'. I hear the whine before I realise that it's coming from myself. I blush, embarrassed. He chuckles darkly "I did tell ya', little one, don't act all surprised.. you were practically begging Cap and Kyle to give you their knots in the Helo, till you passed out with your nose attached to Price's glands, that is.. Took all of John's control to stop Johnny from snatching you away there and then.. they're all pent up in the pack room right now - been two days and they still aren't out of the ruts you triggered.."

"I - I should leave.." - "S'too late for that.." he warns, shifting his legs wider and leaning forward on the sofa.

"I'm - I'm sorry.. I didn't mean to cause so many issues.." - "S'too late for that too" he chuckles.

I feel a tear drop from my eye, and I hurriedly try to wipe it away with the sleeve of the, far too big, hoodie.

"I-I'll go" I sniff, turning to leave. A large gloved hand grabs mine before I manage to step any further. "Sit down.." he grunts.

I don't respond instantly, just staring at his huge hand and how it engulfs mine - "Oi, sit down.." he reminds me, with that harsh voice of his.

I whimper but sit, obediently. I gulp as another cramp rattles through my body.

"Brave girl, just walking around ignoring those cramps that you're having.." he teases.

"Wh-what cramps..?" I try to lie. I'm not sure why I did that...

He grunts a laugh, turning away and busying himself at the counter. I fiddle with my own hands and pick the skin around my nails, anxiously. He eventually turns and hands me two peeled oranges.

"Here" he grunts. I look between the oranges and his eyes for a few seconds, he isn't a patient man - "take them and eat them.." he growls.

I obey again, nervously reaching out and taking them, pulling them apart, segment by segment, and plopping them in my mouth, one at a time. He watches me intently. I stop, about half way through the second orange and he immediately takes it from me and pulls a segment off and practically hand feeds it to me. I reach to take it from his fingers, but get the feeling that if I hadn't, he would have opened my mouth and placed it on my tongue, until I swallowed. I blush, but allow him to do whatever it was he was currently doing...

I take the last piece of orange and swallow it. "Good girl.. tea?"

I push away the whimper I want to let out when he praises me, and gently nod my head. "If you're making one.."

He moves away to the kettle, and as he turns his back, another cramp hits me. They are getting more frequent. I raise my knees, so I'm hugging myself tightly on the sofa, practically in a ball.

"The others are desperate for you to stay..." I snap my gaze to the back of his head. He stands, facing away, waiting for the kettle to boil.

"I - I don't think that's true.. they just -"

"Shh. They want you to stay. You've made a space for yourself in our pack, like it or not" - "I didn't mean to.." I whisper

"No, but you have, haven't you..?" - "I can call Laswell and ask to leave.." I offer. He growls.

"No you fuckin' won't" - "I don't understand.." I sniff, catching another tear with the sleeve of my his hoodie.

"Stop cryin'.." He rumbles - "I'm trying" - "try harder" he grunts. Jeez, helpful as ever Lieutenant..

"Don't you want to stay with them.." he asks, still turned away.

"It's - it's not that.. I'm intruding. I don't belong here.. I don't want to ruin your pack.."

"I'm not the pack Alpha. S'not my decision.." - "I don't care.."

He tilts his head, confused. Usually the pack Alpha's word is final.

"What d'ya mean you don't care..? - "I mean.. I want my own pack. A pack that wants me. A pack that loves me. I still don't even know what I am.." I sniffle.

"You're a fuckin' Omega.. how many times do I need to tell you - you've drove me fuckin' mad since the moment I fuckin' saw you"

He approaches with two cups of tea. He hands me mine, gently before sitting down across from me with his own cup.

He slowly raises the bottom of his balaclava. I snap my gaze away, refusing to look.

He chuckles under his breath at my reaction.

"Scared to look..?" he teases "scared to see the monster underneath..?"

"No.." I reply, sure of myself.

"Well why don't you take a peek then.." - "Only pack and those you trust.. Johnny told me you don't show your face to just anyone.."

"And you think you fall into one of those categories..?"

I freeze, my brain in a total muddle. I don't understand...

"You saved Johnny. Fuck - you probably saved me too, pullin' that little undercover Shadow stunt. Clever, by the way.. must admit, I prefer you in my hoodie over that fuckin' shit we had to peel off of you.." He growls. I stay silent, still turned away, trying to gather my thoughts.

"When I heard you fuckin' scream.. I'd have skinned Graves alive for hurtin' you. I couldn't bare it, almost lost my rag there and then.."

I raise my arm to wipe more tears that had started falling while he spoke.

"I'm not good with words..I'm fuckin' trying my best here.." I gulp, he sounds vulnerable. Is he letting his walls down..? Or attempting to, anyway..

"Laika..? Turn around, for fuck sake.."

I slowly turn around, with teary eyes and shaky hands. I try to hide behind the cup of tea. I keep my gaze down on my lap.

"I'm sorry" he says. My eyes snap up to meet his instantly. Deep brown eyes. Stubble - blonde? Sharp jaw and a small scar on his chin. That's all I could see.. I stare at him for what feels like forever.

"Stop lookin' at me like that.." - "S-sorry.."

"As much of a monster as you were expecting?" - "Nowhere near.. not even close.." I whisper softly.

"Tell me, would you stay with us..?" - "No.. I don't belo.." - "Why not?" - "You don't like me, Lieutenant"

A pin could have dropped, the Lieutenant goes quiet. Scarily so.

I stand to leave, I place my empty cup down by the sink and turn to leave.

I have my hand on the door handle and the Lieutenant still hasn't moved.

"It'll break their hearts.." his gravelly voice whispers. I pause, facing the door.

"I'm sorry.." I hear movement from behind me and all of a sudden I've been turned around and he is cupping my jaw, softly - softer than I thought he would ever be capable of.

"Why can't you see..?" he groans, almost as if he is in pain.

"Lieutenant..?" - "Simon.. it's Simon to pack.." - "I'm not pa..."

"I want you to be pack. I want you to stay, we all do. I can't watch you leave. I can't watch you break everyone's hearts because I'm too stubborn to open up"

*Ghost's POV*

This girl wouldn't fuckin' listen would she? I've been sat here for half a fuckin' hour, surrounded in her sweet, tempting scent, and she still can't listen.

She is about to leave. You'd be a fool to let her leave like this. DO SOMETHING YOU STUPID BRUTE!!

"It'll break their hearts.." I whisper, as she turns the door handle. By some grace of god, she stops.

"I'm sorry.."

She apologises. She fucking apologises. She is about to leave.. NO DON'T LET HER GO!!

I am off of the sofa in a flash, and she was far too easy to turn around. The way she stares up at me, all teary eyed and broken hearted. Why can't she understand..?

"Why can't you see..?" I ask her

"Lieutenant..?" don't fuckin' call me that..

"Simon.. I'm Simon to pack.." - "I'm not pa..." pack pack pack pack Omega Omega Omega

"I want you to be pack. I want you to stay, we all do. I can't watch you leave. I can't watch you break everyone's hearts because I'm too stubborn to open up"

I've said it, I've finally fuckin' said it.

I close my eyes and wait for her to say something.

"Si- Simon.." My eyes roll back and I purr. I'm Simon to pack.. She is pack..

*Laika's (Y/N's) POV*

"Si-Simon.."

Could I allow myself a chance at this..? Did I deserve it when I am still paying for sins that I don't even remember..

He doesn't answer me. I reach up and cover his gloved hand with my own, still rested gently on my jaw. That seems to snap him out of it.

He stares down at me with those deep brown eyes. His scent is intoxicating, almost soothing my cramps by being so close to me. I could just stand on my tip toes and sniff him.

I whimper at the thought.

"You need to stop making those pretty little noises in front of me, especially while you're covered in my scent" he growls, softly, reaching around me with his other arm and balling his hoodie into his large hand, pulling me closer.

"I'll take you back to your room. I need to go and cool off.. you and your fuckin' scent drivin' me mad".

I allow him to guide me gently down the dark hallway, his hand hovering over my lower back.

I stop at my room door and open it, turning to stand in the doorway, facing him. He stares back at me.

"What are you going to do now...?" I ask, knowing damn well that he isn't going to go to the pack room.

"Go back to the kitchen, maybe try to read a few pages of my book.."

"Don't you sleep..?" I ask - "Not when I can smell a stressed Omega a few doors away. Remember the night you had your nightmare..? That's why I was awake.."

I gulp - "Sorry.. I didn't realise I was keeping you awake.. I can put blocker spray on" - "NO - No.. I don't want that..." he corrects his tone the second time.

"I - I don't want you not sleeping because of me.."

"It's fine. Just go to bed.." I nod, stepping backwards into my room. As soon as I move away from him and close the door, pain shoots through me.

"Fuckkk" I groan from behind the closed door, only noticing Kyle's note taped to the door as I stand behind it, now.

"You good..?" he is still outside, FUCK

I clear my throat.. "Yeah - Sorry, just another cramp.. I don't know why they're happening.."

I whimper again when another painful one surges through my stomach.

"Fuck this.. can I come in, Omega..?" He growls, hand already twisting the door handle, but pausing until he hears confirmation.

"Alpha.." I whine.

He takes that as consent. He steps into the room and bundles me into his arms, shushing me and cooing at me, instincts clearly in full control.

He lays me down on the bed, stepping towards the cupboard and pulling everything out, quickly reorganising everything so it was on the bed.

"Don't think we'd both fit in your little cupboard, little bird.." he grumbles.

"You're staying..?" I whimper, trying to reach for him.

"Yes, I'll stay - just tonight" he says as he turns the lights off and clambers beside me on the bed that I hadn't yet spent a single night on.

"Just tonight.." I repeat, as if to convince myself..

As soon as he settles near me, I roll myself closer to him and rest my nose against his neck and inhale. "Omega.." he warns me.

"Stop callin' me that" I whimper - "You need to accept it eventually.. might as well get used to it..." he grumbles back.

That isn't the reason, stupid. Every time he says it, I feel a rush of heat..y'know..

"s'not what I mean.." - "what d'ya mean, then, Omega..?" he taunts

Play him at his own game, mutt..

"Alpha.." I whimper into his ear. He squeezes my hip in response, growling. "Fuckin' minx.. Understood, loud and clear.."

*Simon's POV*

I could have claimed her there and then when she moaned 'Alpha' in my ear.

My cock twitches. Behave Alpha!

Don't ruin all the progress we have made tonight.. Don't fuckin' ruin it..

*Laika's (Y/N's) POV*

I settle against Gho- Simon - and close my eyes.

I allow his scent to wash over me, totally soothing my cramps and making me feel safe, warding any nightmares away.

His purrs turn into soft snores at some point and I follow closely after.

*Kyle's POV*

I wake up at 6am, ready to try and restart my normal routine. My unplanned rut had only lasted a couple of days, thankfully. I leave Johnny and Cap, curled up against each other. I head towards the kitchen when I smell it.

Laika - she's been out of her room overnight. My stomach sinks - what if she'd ran away..? what if...

I'm sprinting back down the hallway in the direction of her room. I don't even bother knocking - opting to just push the door open. It was an emergency.

I don't expect to see her and Simon on the bed together. The perfect picture of peace.

I slowly back away, beaming ear to ear. A flame of hope ignited within me. She could stay. Become pack. She could be ours..

I jog back towards the pack room..

"Alpha.. Johnny.. wake up!!"

"What's the matter,Kyle?" John grumbles back at me.

"Both of you get up!! You've got to see this - C'mon, quickly.. MOVE"

"Christ - this better be important, Gaz.." - "It is, Cap.. C'mon"

I lead the way, Johnny already wide awake and bouncing behind me, sniffing the air, obviously picking up her scent.

"Shhh don't make a sound" I warn them quietly before I step into Laika's room. They were both still fast asleep.

Johnny pops his head around the door and practically drools at the sight. John purrs happily.

He steps forward and shocks me, by climbing into the bed behind Simon. Simon moves slightly but doesn't wake up.

Johnny takes that as an invitation and lays himself between John and Simon.

I step forward and brush a strand of hair from her face. Her eyes flutter open.. "Kyle..?" she whimpers.

"It's me, Love.. gonna climb in behind you, yeah..? Go back to sleep beautiful.." - she nods, turning in Simon's hold to face me.

As soon as I'm laid on the bed, she crawls into my arms and starts pushing her nose into my neck.

"Missed you, Alpha.. gone for so long.." she murmurs against me.. "Oh sweetheart, don't you remember..?" - she shakes her head softly in the crook of my neck.

"Simon says I went feral.. Omega.." - "Yeah, Love - you're an Omega, alright.. triggered us all into ruts..." I say, not able to help the shift of my hips against her.

"Sorry, Love - ignore it" I say, trying to move away and create distance, but the small bed wasn't made for five.

It doesn't matter anyway, because as soon as I try to move away, she pulls me back to her and hooks her leg around my hip.

"Christ, love. Don't move, yeah..? Just cuddle.. just cuddle" I try to convince the Alpha inside of me not to get too excited. She is lined up perfectly. One thrust and-

"Missed you.." she yawns, before resting her head against my chest and falling back to sleep.

Simon reaches around both of us and pulls us closer to him - inadvertently causing my knot to brush against her core perfectly. I groan quietly.

The last thing I hear is the Captain telling Johnny not to get jealous and telling me what a good boy I am..

[astraystayyh]

Hello! I was wondering if you would be interested in writing a fic about felix? Hes my bias and legit the love of my life.

Prompt:

"Y/N being overwhelmed with either work or school and ends up falling asleep, maybe upset and crying. When felix, her boyfriend of many years, gets home, he finds y/n passes out in her room with tear-stained cheeks and decides to make the rest of the night about her and her self care. "

Scream!

Lee Felix fluff/comfort. Very unconventional way of cheering up hdhdhd.

I'm sorry it took me so long to work on this!! i hope you'll enjoy reading it <3

"Sweetheart, I'm home!", Felix shouts as soon as he sets foot inside your apartment. It was past 10, and he had been counting the seconds until he could finally come home to you. 

He skips to your bedroom, stopping in his tracks when he finds you asleep on your desk, your face squished against your laptop. "Adorable", he whispers to himself, a lovestruck expression adorning his face. 

But as he bends forward to wake you up, he frowns at the sight of your tear-stained cheeks and your deeply furrowed eyebrows. He looks over at the scattered papers on your desk, along with the three empty cups of coffee sitting there, and he figures this has to do with the big assignment you were working on. 

Felix places a featherlight kiss on your temple, before grabbing a pillow from your bed. He gently lifts your face, replacing the laptop with the soft cushion, this way you wouldn’t strain your neck. 

He quietly starts to clean your room, picking up clothes from the ground and putting back in place your disorganized products. He then heads to the kitchen, where he washes the dishes you had stacked in there from the night before. It was your turn to do them, but still, he knew that this would be a weight lifted off your shoulders. And he'd do anything to make you feel better.

When the dishes are washed, the countertop swept and the floors clean, he finally rejoins you in the bedroom. You are still asleep, so as to not startle you, he gently rubs your back, calling out your name softly. 

You open your eyes lazily, instinctively smiling when you see your boyfriend in front of you. "You are here", you whisper and he grins back, "I'm here, baby". 

You close your eyes, Felix's touch lulling you right back to sleep. But then, you snap them open when you remember that you most certainly shouldn't be asleep right now. 

"Fuck", you gasp, "I should be working, oh god I will never finish this and-", Felix leans down and kisses you, effectively stopping your frantic rambling. 

"Easy, love. What's going on?", he asks you, and his soft tone makes tears well up in your eyes. "I'm so so stressed out, I have this assignment due and my brain isn't cooperating".

Felix extends his hand towards you and you frown confused. "Come on, let's go", he urges you and you grab his warm hand tentatively, "Go where? Felix, I really shouldn’t-"

"Do you trust me?", he cuts you off and you reply instantly, "With my life".

"Then let's go", he pulls you up and you giggle lightly, "I'm still in my pajamas".

"Here", he grabs one of his hoodies and pulls it over your head, "Perfect". 

-------

A short drive later, Felix parks in front of the beach. You stare at him inquisitively and he smiles cheekily in reply.

You step out of the car, closing your eyes and savoring the feel of the breeze ruffling your hair. Felix stands behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and placing his shin on top of your head. 

"The view's pretty", he comments and you nod in agreement, sinking further into his safe hold. When suddenly, Felix crouches down behind you. He holds your legs tightly and stands up- this time with you perched on his shoulders. You yelp, taken aback and he laughs, "How's the view up there?"

"Lix put me down!", you chuckle and he starts running towards the beach, ignoring your plea entirely. 

You are laughing so hard, your stomach aches by the time he finally stops. Your cheeks are flushed, and the salty scent of the sea mingles with Felix's cologne. You haven't felt this alive in a while. 

"Yn!", Felix calls out and you try your best to look down at him, "What?", you giggle and he smiles mischievously, "Scream, baby. Let it all out!" 

You contemplate for a few seconds before nodding eagerly. "Okay! Count to three for me", you tell him and he chuckles, "One... two... three!". 

You scream your lungs out, your shouts echoing around the empty beach. "Feels good baby?", Felix asks and in reply you yell again, letting out all your pent-up emotions. You felt as if you were on top of the world- sitting on Felix's shoulders while the sea drinks in your shouts.

Felix finally kneels down and you hop off of him. When your eyes meet his, you both scream together as if on cue, your hands holding his tightly. And then your shouts morph into barely contained giggles- you end up falling on the sand from how hard you're laughing.

When you both calm down, you high-five him and he smiles, lacing your fingers with his. "Did it help?", he asks, his thumb swiping back and forth on your palm. 

"A lot. This was exhilarating".

"I'm glad", he grins brightly as he helps you stand up. You pull him in for a bone-crushing hug, wrapping your legs around his waist. He securely holds you to him as he walks back towards the car, “Let's go get ice cream, and then we’ll go home and cuddle. Sounds good?", he whispers, his lips grazing the shell of your ears.

"Sounds perfect", you smile, burying your face in the crook of his neck.

--------------

As promised, Felix buys your favorite ice cream and you both eat it in the car, while blasting the playlist he once made you. He thinks you didn't notice but you know he took extra laps around the house, this way you'd get to finish the song you were listening to. 

You also notice how the house is much cleaner than it was this morning. How Felix puts on your comfort show and places your head on his chest, because he knows the sound of his heartbeat calms you down.

You notice how he places a glass of water on your bedside, this way you'd drink it first thing in the morning. How he insists on putting on your skincare for you, gently massaging it into your skin. How he tucks your Bokkari plushie next to your pillow, this way you'd hug it when he has to inevitably leave for work.

When you both finally lay in bed, you kiss his forehead gently, and his eyes flutter closed at the contact. 

"Thank you, for loving me", you smile, heart so full of admiration it feels like it will burst. 

"Thank you, for allowing me to love you".

"Can't you just accept the compliment?", you giggle and he shakes his head no, pulling you closer to him. 

"Tonight is about you, my love".

"Can tomorrow be about me too?", you tease and he smiles softly at you. 

"For as long as you need it".

[anemos-orca]

But a Furious Requiem of Stupidity

wanderer x irritated!fem.reader

cw: fluff, est. relationship, cussing, cynical themes, pessimism, comfort, not proof read, probaby more qnq

a/n: apologies for my lack of activity, ive had a bit of a writing slump lately :( im still here though, i promise qwq ah anyways, i apologize if this is not a good read

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

Usually, Wanderer was home first. He would get there before you almost every day and (im)patiently wait for your arrival, only to put on a cold-front once you walked in. You knew him though, so you knew that it was nothing more than mere instinct- a special little trait that he was conditioned to own due to his less than savory backstory. You were like him in the fact that you couldnt care less about others and what they did, thought, or believed, whether it be about you or not. You were often compared to both him and Alhaitham, having overheard the, "Shes like... if Hat Guy and Alhaitham had a kid," countless times. Admittedly, you knew they werent wrong. Although you had met the Scribe but a few times, you knew how he was, so you knew that you were, in fact, just like him- if not "worse" than him.

Today was a different-feeling day. Wanderer came home just as he usually did, stepping inside and shaking off his flamboyant getup to swap it for a more "Im incredibly poor and could really use some new clothes" look. His ugly, overused hoodie was far too big- the once bright blue sleeves, now washed out and dull, hung below even his fingertips, the hood could cover his face and then some, and the front pocket- well, it was more of a pouch, but thats besides the point- was big enough to fit an entire meal for two inside (a theory the two of you tested, wanting to sneak your own food into the House of Daena instead of snacking on the pathetic, drywall-esque food bars they provided). His shorts were nothing special; though, neither of you knew where they came from. Yes, they were one of the, "are these black shorts yours? theyre not mine, so they must be- what do you mean theyre not yours?" pieces of clothing everyone seems to have.

Stepping into the kitchen, Wanderer was met with the pitiful sight of you sitting on the cold stone floor with your back pressed against the once nicely polished Adhigama wood cabinets. He narrowed his eyes at you, looking you up and down as though he believed you to be a fake. You werent one to miss work, no matter how much you hated it.

"I got fired," you groaned, not even so much as turning to look at him. Your tone was more deadbeat than usual.

"Im surprised you didnt get the pink slip earlier," he scoffed, sliding his back down the cabinet to sit beside you. You yanked on the hem of his hoodie and pulled it over your head to join him, earning an irritated growl from your boyfriend as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders.

"Its a real shame, too," you sarcastically retorted, leaning your head on his shoulder, "i was hoping that one day, id wake up and head off to that wretched place, only to find that it had exploded overnight."

Wanderer couldnt help but snicker at your cynical wishes, "Is that what got you fired? Id fire you if i heard you say that."

"Shut the fuck up and let me finish talking," you said with a growl. Even though you couldnt see it, you could feel that stupid sly grin on his face and those disgustingly dreamy eyes rolling at your bitching. It was normal for you two to talk this way with one another- in fact, it was your way of bonding and the thing that brought you together in the first place.

"The Akadeymia is full of idiots. A graduate student asked me- genuinely asked me," you cleared your throat and began repeating the students words in a mocking tone, "wait, so do i use 'their' or 'there'?"

Wanderer hung on your every word, waiting for the inevitable explosion of, "How is he a graduate student?" and "What was he going to ask next? Which 'to' to use? Which 'your' to use?" with increasing intensity. However, it never came. Instead, you simply shrugged, sighing in relief.

"I ripped his paper to shreds and threw it into the air like confetti before walking out without saying another word."

"So, you quit?"

"No, i was fired."

"You said you walked out without ano-"

"I didnt say another word, but the student, his friends, and the professor had some words. A lot of words."

"Hmm. Im sure they did. People from the Akadeymia sure do have a lot of words."

"A lot of words they dont know how to use. Its hopeless, but its also not my problem anymore. Itll eventually devolve into a nothing more than a joke and a waste of time."

Wanderer was quiet for a moment, taking his next words into great consideration as to not say the wrong thing, "You know, im usually the pessimistic one, but youre being a real downer right now. Even I know that humanity isnt that stupid."

You let out a careless sigh in response.

"There will always be people you meet that are so unbelieveably stupid, they make you wonder how they got past the age of seven," he grumbled, seemingly annoyed at just the thought of them, "But theres also people like you, like us. Sure theyre few and far between, but theyll come to you. Theres no need to sift through the endless waves of brainless idiots. Anyone with even an ounce of self respect will stick out like a sore thumb."

You hummed in thought, seemingly not believing him.

"Dont hum at me. Think about it- its how you me, not to mention those blabbering fools you call friends. Alhaitham, Tighnari, Cyno, Kaveh- even though theyll never live up to the bar ive set, theyre still above the rest of the crowd."

You sneered up at him, teasingly smacking him on the back of his head, "You bonehead! If anything, youve lowered the bar!"

Wanderer glared down at you, shoving you away. However, due to being in the same hoodie, he was inadvertedly pulled with you as you flopped onto the floor. He managed to fall on top of you, smushing you down to the floor and effectively trapping you. With a devious grin, he moved his hands up to your cheeks, forcing you to look at him, "Tell me you love me and that im better than everyone else."

You raised an eyebrow at him, "I loathe you and go to sleep every night hoping youll dissolve."

Wanderer narrowed his eyes, his nose crinkling in irritation as he squeezed your cheeks together, "Say it."

"Or what?" You protested in a purposefully bratty tone.

"Or no kisses. No cuddles. No-"

"Alright, alright, damn! I love you and you are slightly above everyone else."

"Wrong. Say it the right way."

"Youre so irritating, just give me a kiss, blockhead!"

"Guess ill be sleeping elsewhere toni-"

"NO N-" you clear your throat, a bit embarrassed that you reacted so strongly, "N-no, i love you, i do, and you really are better than everyone else," you begrudgingly admitted, a slight blush creeping in on your cheeks.

Smirking with satisfaction, Wanderer released your face from his hands and leaned down to press a gentle, loving kiss on your lips, "Thats better. You know, youre awfully cute when you get all flustered and blushy like that."

"WANDERER!!"

He snickered, thuroughly enjoying how easy it was for him to get under your skin no matter how pissed off your expression was. Besides, it was hard to take you seriously when your cheeks were bright red.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

[dirtyvulture]

Peeping Kate Bishop - Part 9

Possessive!Natasha Romanoff x Beefy!Fem!Reader

18+ only, read at your own risk

Word count: 1604

Summary: Kate gets caught in an awkward spot.

AN: Our favorite peeper is back! Check out the other parts here. Enjoy!

“Can I borrow your vest?” Kate asks, skipping over to Yelena in the kitchen.

“What for, Kate Bishop?” Yelena responds, not even looking up at her to focus on lining up the banana slices on her peanut butter sandwich.

“Clint’s taking me on a mission with Steve tomorrow. He said to pack light, and I know your vest has a lot of pockets to make things easier to carry,” Kate explains.

“Yes, that is the purpose of the pockets.”

“So can I borrow it? I’ll make sure to clean it before I give it back,” Kate says.

“I didn’t think green was your color,” Yelena comments.

“The color doesn’t matter,” Kate exasperates. “Please?”

Yelena pauses like this is an extremely important decision she’s about to make. “Sure,” she finally says. 

“Yay! Thanks, Yelena!” Kate disappears towards the bedrooms, but comes back a minute later empty-handed. “Where’d you put it?” she asks Yelena.

“What do you mean?” Yelena takes a big bite of her sandwich.

“Where’s your vest?”

“Is it not in my closet?”

“Nope,” Kate responds.

“Oh!” Yelena swallows. “My sister borrowed it last week. It’s probably still in her room.”

“H-Her room?” Kate had basically self-banned herself from going into Natasha’s (and yours) room after the amount of times she had stumbled in on the two of you in what should have been very private moments.

“Her and Y/N are still coming back from a mission,” Yelena says dismissively. “Just be quick, Kate Bishop.”

“Right, right.” 

Kate wanders down the hall, her heart beating in anticipation. She stops at Natasha’s door, knocking several times and waiting for a response. When she gets none, she pushes the door open slowly, completely relieved to find it empty. She goes into the closet (which she’s envious to find is almost as big as her entire room) and starts pawing through the clothes, embarrassed to recognize which ones are yours just from the scent lingering on them.

She fights the urge to bury her nose in one of your hoodies, hunting around for Yelena’s vest. It doesn’t seem to be anywhere, and she goes through the clothes on the hangers one at a time, hoping to find it.

Suddenly, Kate hears voices and runs back to the closet door, but is too late and sees you and Natasha walk in. She gets tangled in a pair of sweatpants on the floor and nearly falls through the door, but catches herself on the frame just in time. Natasha’s eyes sweep past the ajar door, but Kate shrinks back and holds her breath. Natasha gives her no second glance.

“I’m ready to sleep for a year,” you announce, dropping your bag with a loud thud by the door and throwing yourself onto the bed. Natasha jumps on your back with a giggle, and Kate’s heart pounds in her throat. She has to make her presence known now, or she knows she will severely regret this moment for the rest of her life.

“You can’t sleep now,” Natasha pouts, as you roll onto your back and let her lie on your chest.

Kate puts her hand on the door and starts opening it–

“You have to fuck me first.”

The blood drains out of Kate’s face and she shrinks back. She can’t leave now. 

“You think I didn’t feel the strap you’re wearing?” Natasha says, aggressively rocking her hips against yours and you moan. Kate feels a jolt go straight to her core when she hears you, and she kneels down, cupping herself between her legs and trying to will away her arousal.

“The mission kind of tired me out,” you admit.

“Well, you can just sit back and let me do the work,” Natasha smirks. It still surprises you sometimes how horny she can be, but you would never deny her.

“Sure, baby.” You scoot up higher on the bed, taking off your clothes and throwing them to the side haphazardly, letting Natasha grind on your strap. 

Kate inhales sharply and slaps a hand over her mouth to hide her awe. Even though Natasha is blocking most of her view of you, Kate still thinks that you are the most beautiful specimen she’s ever seen. Your body looks like it was sculpted by God himself, your muscles perfectly proportioned, the features of your face set in the most attractive way Kate could even think of. Kate is pretty sure she’d be willing to commit murder if it meant getting her hands on you, even for a few minutes. But since that possibility would never happen in this universe, she had to settle for the next best thing: watching you with your actual partner and pretending it was with her instead.

Natasha strips off her clothes and continues grinding against you, placing her hand on the center of your chest and pushing you back against the headboard. Kate can hear you panting now and her own heartbeat picks up and she surges forward until she almost hits her head on the door. 

“You’re so beautiful, Nat,” you say, and Kate pretends you’ve said her own name instead. 

“Just relax, baby. I’ll handle this,” Natasha says. Still, your hands wrap around her thighs, lifting her up just so Kate can see the bottom of the strap you’re wearing and the filthiest thoughts flood her head. Natasha sinks down on your strap and moans. You start to rock your hips, and Kate has had enough. 

She hastily unzips her own jeans, a mix of embarrassment and shame filling her at what she’s about to do, but then she hears you moan again and watches as your girlfriend rides you roughly, your muscles flexing as you keep both of your bodies upright. Kate slips her hand past her panties, pushing two fingers into herself, shocked at how wet she already is. She wishes it was your fingers instead, clenching hard around herself at the thought. She wishes she could have you pinned to your bed, her hands holding onto your biceps, rubbing her center against your rock-hard abs until she cums over and over.

“Fuck, you fill me up so well,” Natasha moans, bouncing on your lap. Kate pumps into herself harder, swiping her thumb over her clit and her legs tremble at the extra stimulation.  

“Cum all over my strap,” you tell her, and Kate wants to scream that she would do anything for you. She’s soaking all over her hand and she bites on her bottom lip to stop herself from making any noise. She has never reached an orgasm so fast and doesn’t even notice that Natasha’s finished and climbs off your lap, taking your strap off before dipping her head between your legs.

“Oh, fuck. Right there, baby.”

Your voice makes Kate peek out the crack of the door again. She wants to faint now at the sight of you flat on your back, your chest and stomach heaving with Natasha’s mouth attached to your center. 

Kate’s mouth practically waters as she wonders what you would taste like, how the weight of your muscular thighs would feel in her arms as she tries to keep your legs apart, but then she’ll give in so you can wrap them around her head to draw her closer to you. Again, Kate starts fingering herself, still frustrated at how close yet far she is from you. She closes her eyes to properly imagine being between your legs and bringing you to a blissful high, pretending that it’s her name you’re moaning instead of Natasha’s.

Your hand threads into Natasha’s hair as another obscene moan escapes your lips. You’ve already cum twice and Natasha seems to have no intent of stopping any time soon. Her lips close around your clit and suck hard, and you’re gone again. But after the fog clears from your head, your legs trembling uncontrollably and your skin covered in sweat, you finally push Natasha’s head away from you.

“Okay, okay, I’m done, baby,” you say, feeling like she’s literally drained the life out of you.

“That enough for you?” Natasha says, winking as she sits up and wipes her mouth.

“Yeah.” You flop back on the pillows, panting.

Natasha gets off the bed, grabbing the bathrobe hanging behind the front door. You lift your head enough to watch her lazily. She comes back to the bedside, reaching under the nightstand into the mini fridge and taking out a bottle of red Gatorade.

“Stay hydrated, baby,” she says, giving it to you with a kiss.

“Thank you.” You open the bottle and offer her the first sip. She smiles as she takes it, then moves to throw the blanket over you. You’re too tired to question her, taking the Gatorade back and chugging it. 

Natasha goes to stand in front of the closet, which is slightly ajar. She crosses her arms and says, “Kate Bishop, get out of the closet.” Your eyes widen as the door seems to open on its own and Kate Bishop emerges, shuffling forward uneasily with her hands buried in her pockets. Her zipper is down, but no one comments on this.

“I am not going to ask, just get the hell out of our room,” Natasha growls.

Kate nods, her face redder than you’ve ever seen before, and waddles out of your room.

“Did you know she was in there?” you finally ask after a few moments of silence.

Natasha smirks at you.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Please like, reblog, and comment! Follow for more content. 🥰

[peachybeom]

Stress Relief ♡

sfw, soobin x reader, college au.

blonde fluffy soobin is so cute ill eat him-

Soobin hurriedly made his way to your apartment, taking the stairs instead of the elevator believing the latter took more time.

He had been trying to reach you for almost a day now but got no response. Growing impatient, Soobin had left you texts and voice notes but unfortunately all of those remained unanswered as well.

Finally giving up on waiting, your boyfriend had contacted your roommate-who was out for the weekend, for the apartment passcode as he made up his mind to go check on you himself.

He punched the code in the machine and anxiously opened the door to look for you. His eyes scanned the living room for a few seconds, until they fell on a huddled figure sitting down on the floor.

You were hunching down, sitting cross legged resting your head gently on the table in front of you. Your eyes were shut tightly while your lips parted slightly letting out soft periodic breaths.

Soobin quietly closed the door before him and lowered himself to your level, he let out a breath of relief and gazed at your soft features before brushing a few wild strands of hair from your face.

You stirred lightly at his touch but showed no signs of waking up, that was when Soobin noticed all the books and pens and crumbled papers that surrounded your sleeping figure, you were even holding a pen between your fingers as you slept.

The smile fell from Soobin's face as soon as it had appeared because he realised how tired you must have been. Your college midterms were about to commence in about two weeks and you were determined to work your ass off for it, even it meant studying vigorously without taking any breaks.

As much as Soobin wanted to support you through this tough time, his resources were limited too as he was a film major and you a medical one. Plus past few months had been hard on him too, constantly busy finishing assignments and reaching deadlines.

Soobin hated seeing you stressed but he had promised to not bother you for an entire month during your midterms because he really didn't want to be a distraction, though he would almost text you daily and occasionally call, to check up on you and your studies.

Though you both weren’t able to talk for long, just hearing your voice once in a while was enough for Soobin to go on.

You time and again reassured him that you were doing fine but witnessing the current situation, it was clear that you clearly were not and had been pulling one too many all nighters.

 You gently moved and rubbed your eyes sleepily as the sound of clinking cutlery awoke you to consciousness.

You stretched your arms behind your back and were ready to yell at your roommate for being so loud- when you turned your head and spotted an all too familiar figure in the kitchen.

"Soobin!" You exclaimed loudly, grabbing the boy's attention.

Your boyfriend turned around and raised both of his hands towards his sides, a bright smile appearing on his face as he spoke

"Hi bunny,"

"I'm sorry if I accidentally woke you up, I actually came over to check on you because -"

His words were cut off when you-in a matter of seconds strode across the room and wrapped your arms around his tall body.

"There there, easy tiger" Soobin chuckled patting your hair with his hand.

"I missed you so much" You mumbled, burying your face in his shirt.

"That's why you are wearing my hoodie- the one I thought I had lost months ago" Soobin said in a teasing tone.

"Yeah, it's actually really comfortable, I need to raid your closet more often" You replied, looking up- God you missed his beautiful face.

Soobin laughed before gently breaking the hug between the two of you and placed a soft kiss on your forehead.

“I missed you too baby, I got so worried that maybe you had fallen sick or something because you weren’t picking up my calls or answering to my messages.” He said while caressing your cheek.

You felt a pang of guilt for making Soobin worried like this.

“Sorry, I’d put my phone on silent while studying and did not even realise when I fell asleep” You mumbled.

That’s when he noticed the light bags under your eyes and the pale color of your skin.

"You should take a break Y/N, you deserve it," Soobin said in a concerned tone before placing another kiss on your face.

"Yeah, you're right I really should," You sighed heavily.

"Great! so I'll just finish cooking this ramen, then we can try to clean up the mess that is your living room and have a movie night?"

 After having dinner- which tasted so good, even though it was just regular ramen. Soobin let you pick a movie which could help you unwind.

You both were halfway through the movie when your eyes began to drift sideways rather than being on the screen.

It was a good movie, it really was! But whenever Soobin was around you, you could focus on nothing but him. His pretty face demanded attention all the damn time, even if that wasn't his intention.

The movie still had a long way to go but you were growing restless. You extended your arm towards your boyfriend and placed your palm on top of his open one.

Soobin absent-mindedly curled his fingers against yours intertwining your fingers, too absorbed in the movie playing before him.

Next, you raised your other hand and grazed your fingers on his ear, softly pulling down the earlobe. This made Soobin turn to face you, his eyebrows furrowed together in curiosity.

You wordlessly ran a hand through his fluffy blonde hair before running a finger down his nose and giving it a light tap.

"What are you doing," Soobin asked letting out a breathy laugh.

You finally got up to and placed yourself on either side of his knee, strangling him between your legs on the couch. Then you placed your palms on both his cheeks and squeezed them between your hands.

"You are like my stress relief squishy. I want to pull you, squeeze you, poke you and viola all the stress is gone," You answered in a cheeky tone.

Soobin laughed loudly at your answer, his eyes closing and forming cute little crescent shapes.

"Jeez that's one weird way of saying you want to make out with me, bunny."

He then put his hand on your waist pulling you closer to him till your noses touched and whispered,

"Bet a squishy can't to this though,"

Soobin captured your lips between his and you let out a surprised squeak but almost melted under his touch right after, hands now grabbing the soft material of his shirt.

Soobin's mouth travelled down leaving small kisses as he made his way through. One hand teasing the waist band of your pyjama while the other slipping under the oversized hoodie. You let out a sigh of contentment and bliss, taking you away from all the anxieties and worries of the past week.

Holding onto him tightly, eyes closed, feeling him all over you, you realised being close to Soobin was really the best way to relieve stress.

[angellurgy2]

Wormom

new story time ^-^ trying out some weirder shit this time

content: worms and abusive mothering. thats all you need to know

_____________________________

doll’s mother is not a good person. she never was. since the day of her birth, her mother looked down at her with disgust. her father used to “joke” all the time about how she begged him to go into the nursery and switch doll with another baby. that was before he left too. not that he helped, his presence meant mom just had to dodge his gaze. go behind closed doors with her evil. though he wasn’t good in his paternal behaviour either, one of doll’s few comforts is knowing her father hated her mother too. it’s been just them for an infinitely long amount of time now, closely quarted, virile disgust insulated inside and left to stew. it swiftly became prey locked in with predator, like leaving a cat alone with a fish bowl, or letting a child wander into the tiger cage.

the marble kitchen island quakes as two boney white hands slam down in front of doll’s sunken face. mother screaches like a harpy. decades of cigarette smoke and opiate usage slowly abrading her insides have left her with an ever-present coalegenic grate to her voice that has haunted doll’s ears her entire life.

PAY ATTENTION

doll’s needed for something today, so says mother. her calloused and torched hands grasp fiendishly at the black sleeves of doll’s hoodie and pull her off of her seat, sending her crashing into the filthy linoleum floor. pathetic, vertigous doll. waste of a skeletal structure. her mom forces her back up onto her mushy patellas by her ragged hair.

HURRY UP

dirt is picked up along doll’s skin, musky carpet scraping into her. stains and dust and filth writhe up her body horribly.

* * *

a shiny porcelain bowl sits atop a black coffee table directly in front of doll’s eyes. she remembers picking that up from that weird swedish store with her, shortly after dad left taking all the good furniture with him. it was floor cereal for months before they had it. though table cereal wasn’t much better the way she made it.

doll’s face is hidden behind her shivering sleeves. mother forces them away. she grabs the bowl and places it on the floor by doll’s feet. her talons dig into doll’s tremoring shoulders. doll's on her knees, clenching her eyes.

no no no. no no no no no.

I MADE YOU MY FAVOURITE.

scaly fingers pry open her eyelids. the inside of the bowl isn’t clean like the outside, dirt ladens it’s walls. dozens of pink digits wriggle around each other inside. a thick living pasta, crawling for the bits of ground remnants. it’s almost hypnotic. doll can feel herself shaking uncontrollably. her vision spirals and blurs with scolecic tears.

EAT YOUR BREAKFAST.

doll won’t. a river flows down her face torching her eyes. she shakes her head finally managing to force the hydraulics controlling her will to do their job.

DIDN’T YOU WANT ME TO BE NICE? HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS SO UNGRATEFUL.

it’s voice burns with hot breath, searing and rotten like her teeth.

the doll pulls back, but extremities tangled through her long ungroomed hair keep her stuck, lest she rip it out. the voice gets closer. the sound of heavy haggard breathing flooding her senses. she would flail, if she had any fuel left inside of her.

please.

the hand pushes her in.

EAT IT EAT IT EAT IT EAT IT EAT IT EAT IT EAT IT EAT IT EAT IT EAT IT EAT IT EAT IT EAT IT EAT IT EAT IT EAT IT EAT IT EAT IT EAT IT NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW

tubular pink slime glides across every inch of her soft face, coating her in greasy red worm juice. her lips remain closed until the food begins to search for other orifices. shut eyelids begin to feel probing tips, desperately trying to dig under the grass of her eyelashes and into the supple earth beneath. like rats in a bucket. then mother’s other hand reaches into view from the void behind. hands gripping the rubbery flesh inbetween her lips tight, pushing and pushing and pushing her sharp black nails stained yellow into her poor skin. doll can’t take it, her mother’s going to force her jaw open any second. she can’t take it she can’t take it she opens her mouth to scream STO P STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP PLEASE MOM (she almost bursts out into even more tears just calling her mom) NONO-

and her screams are stifled with a wave of annelid suffocation.

and they don’t stop wriggling inside her until the last one is left worming at the bottom of the bowl. she can feel every inch of their slothful slime dripped crawls down her pipes, hear their shrill dying screams as they melt in her acidic antechamber.

the brown worms atop doll’s head are pulled taught, back up into the air. juice and saliva drool down her quivering chin. mother picks the last surviving soldier out of the trough, dangling him above doll’s mouth, tantalizing her, her baby bird, unwanted but fed. all you are is a baby cuckoo, a brood parasite, locked in the nest with a ‘mother’ who knows exactly what you are. it only makes sense that she has treated you so.

mother slowly lowers the worm into doll’s tear pit of a mouth. its head or tail flails with reckless abandon, excited to be let loose into this dark, wet tunnel. back inside the dirtwomb.

it falls, and doll can tell it does enjoy it. almost as much as her mother.

[marleyybluu]

could u pls write some more for oscar 🙏🙏 i’ll take anything atp, just maybe make it fluffy - ty a lot anyway 🤍🤍

Mama's Night Out

Spooky x fem!reader

what a hunk, oof

It'd been months since you'd been out with your friends, being a new mother was a great experience, watching your little boy grow was amazing but you missed a bit of your old life before big responsibilities came around.

Your husband, Spooky, suggested that you go out for a night, get dolled up, put on some heels and go to a club or go to a bar. Have a mommy's night out. You thought 'what the heck' you felt like you deserved it.

He let you have the entire day to yourself. You got to go to the spa, the nail salon, do some shopping-- buying some clothes for the baby and him as well. And when night fell you were on the dance floor with your girls, drinks in hand, dancing with each other.

Bar hopping was next, accepting free drinks from those who offered. Shot after shot, cocktail after cocktail and a few beers did you in that night.

Spooky had to drop the baby off by his boy, Sad Eyez, so that he could come to pick you up. Once he got you in the car, you were slumped over in the passenger's seat delivering the occasional hiccup and giggle at absolutely nothing. He shook his head, absolutely amused by this behaviour, but was relieved you had a good time.

He had to assist in getting you out of your tight dress and into some baggy clothes that you could be more comfortable in, he even helped to remove your makeup. You hummed as he wiped off your lip gloss, silently appreciating having him around. He encouraged you to eat some food, as much as you could manage and helped you to bed when you were done.

The next morning, waking up with a wicked, pounding headache, you groaned feeling the repercussions from the night before. "Why did I do that?" You asked yourself, you wrapped a robe around you that had a hoodie attached to it so you plopped that over your head shielding you from daylight.

Spooky was in the kitchen with the baby wiggling in his high chair, he squealed seeing his mother but you flinched at the noise. "Oh, Emilio, my baby pterodactyl." Your voice was raspy, you kissed the little boy's head and went up to his father wrapping your arms around his torso. "Well good morning party girl."

"Never again." You mumbled, "Come on, I have coffee, orange juice and Advil."

"I knew I married you for a reason." You held onto him as he walked to the table with a cup in each hand, you sat down next to your child greeted by some toast and scrambled eggs. "You don't have to eat all of it, but at least have a slice of toast." He advised sitting so close his knee poked your thigh, you turned to him puckering your lips.

Spooky smiled leaning forward and pressing his lips onto yours, you softly moaned pulling away. "Thanks for letting mama be a hot girl again."

He gently kissed your nose. "Mmm, you'll always be a hot girl to me."

I just got home from work and I'm high as fuck so sorry if there are any spelling mistakes lol

if you liked this fic feel free to like this fic, reblogs and comments are appreciated.

peace and love

tags: @skyesthebomb

[shuniverse]

muffin ,,| l.f

🖋️ hiiii ik I have lots of requests in my drafts atm I’m super sorry but I had to get this out it’s been infesting my brain man 😔

💌 lots of fluffy fluff <3 ; make out 🫶 ; lix gets very physical and handsy (as expected) ; lixie calls reader muffin a lot and reader calls lixie sunshine and darling 🫶 ;

🫶 ;;

the warm new batch of muffins smelled amazing as you pulled them out of the oven, the smell wafting into your senses.

and, unsurprisingly, to where your boyfriend sits on the couch.

he perks up, and walks with his fluffy socked feet on the hard wood floor to your spot in the kitchen, wrapping his arms around your waist as you stand up straight, setting the batch on the counter.

you giggle when he plants a little kiss on your neck. “those look yummy, muffin.”

you look at him, cocking an eyebrow, to which he grins. “muffin?”

“yea, cuz you’re making em, and you’re my muffin.”

you chuckle, turning around in his arms, running your palms up and down his arms. “why am I your muffin, sunshine?”

“that’s like asking why I’m your sunshine, muffin.”

you sigh. “soo.. that means I’m like a muffin? how much like a muffin?”

he giggles. “well, muffins aren’t super flamboyant, like cupcakes, but they have amazing flavors once you take a bite. and? they look nice and scrumptious, and warm, on the outside and inside. just like you.”

you smile-pout at him, brushing a hand on his freckled cheek, to which he leans into. “aw, darling..”

he brings his hands to your cheeks, gently rubbing your cheeks with his thumbs. “you’re my muffin, that’s not changing, just like I’m your sunshine.”

you giggle, leaning forward and catching his plush lips in a sweet kiss. he sighs into it, cocking his head to deepen the kiss, and you wrap your arms around his neck.

after a few minutes of making out, he pulls away and looks at you, smiles that pretty smile of his, and tucks a bit of hair behind your ear. “you’re so pretty, muffin.”

you smile along with him, gazing into his eyes.

you think you can get lost in them. the deep swirl of cinnamons and caramels, dark chocolates and syrupy depths that could swallow you whole in its thickness.

there are flecks of honey in them as well, sweet and bright.

his deep, syrupy voice breaks you out of your trance, though. “you’re staring, muffin.” he chuckles, turning his head a bit to kiss your palm.

“sorry, sunshine, your eyes are just.. really pretty.”

“well, so are you, muffin.”

you giggle, your cheeks heating up. even after years of being with him, he still makes your heart flutter and your face warm.

“I love you, sunshine.”

he smiles that pretty smile again, kissing your nose. “I love you so so much more, muffin.”

you giggle, kissing his cheek before turning around and grabbing you and him a muffin, and handing it to him, taking a bite of your own.

he takes a bite into the softness of the top, humming deeply in delight. “shit, muffin, this is so good.”

you laugh through a mouthful of muffin, lightly swatting his chest. he grins through a mouthful of muffin, making you laugh harder.

you both eat your muffins happily, sometimes sharing with each other, before the entire tray is gone, and your faces are covered in crumbs. you wipe his face with your (his) hoodie sleeve, and he does the same with his hand, lightly grazing your lip.

he sighs happily, and rests his head on your shoulder as you lean against the counter, and run your fingers through his locks.

you could get used to this, you think, and you could never get tired of it.

not when it’s him.

;; 🫶

hope you enjoyed ! I enjoyed writing this, I had fun with it 🫶

love y’all stay safe <3

[pinkierre]

3x piarles drabbles - kitchen drama - late night healing - piano shenanigans

i'm on doctors orders to not do anything i feel like i HAVE to, but i felt like writing so i rode the high for half an hour and came out with three piarles drabbles (i didn't want to commit to a big thing), written based on this prompt list, and written for three of my beloveds who've helped me a lot these past two weeks <3 -

kitchen drama for @duquesademiel

“A funny story actually…” Charles murmurs as he’s staring at a wide eyed Pierre. Charles can admit to himself that, you know, maybe he fucked up a little. Especially since the flour isn’t just on him, it’s everywhere. None of the kitchen counters have been spared, nor any cabinets or even the sink. The floor is also littered with white powder. The only part of the kitchen that seemingly has been spared is the ceiling. 

“You have an explanation for why you made our kitchen explode?” Pierre seems to finally have gotten over his shock, his face morphing into amusement over anything. 

“Hey! Nothing actually broke. Except my self-asteem…” Charles objects as he looks down at the mess he’s made. Pierre is never going to let him live this down. He feels Pierre stepping into his personal space, to hands coming up to wipe the flour away from his eyes. 

“What did you even want to accomplish?” Pierre asks, his tone teasing but soft. His hands move to Charles’ shoulders, brushing off as much of the flour as he can. 

“I was going to bake you cookies, to say thank you for always being there for me.” Charles says, his tone indicating he clearly feels sorry for himself. In response, Pierre presses a soft kiss to his lips, before answering, “Buy them next time, yeah?” 

- late night healing for @yukierres

“Did you drink anything today?” Charles asks as he watches the shape of his boyfriend on the couch, illuminated only by the lights from the tv. It’s otherwise dark in their apartment. Charles had just woken up at 3am, the other side of the bed cold. 

They might’ve had a fight, but Charles didn’t think Pierre would actually stay out here instead of coming to sleep in their bed. 

Pierre’s face is almost entirely hidden by his hoodie, the only indication that he heard Charles is that there was some movement. He heads to the kitchen, filling up a glass with water before moving back into the living room. He sets the glass down on the coffee table and sits down in between the table and the couch, silently glancing at the other man. 

An arms escapes the bundle of clothes and blankets and grabs onto the glass, Pierre gulping it down in one go. He puts down the glass before the arm makes grabby hands at Charles. 

Hesitantly, Charles rises from the floor and lies down in front of Pierre, his arm wrapping around him and holding him by the waist. 

“Even when we’re fighting, it’s still you and me against the world, okay?” Charles whispers and Pierre’s arm tightens in response. They will be okay. 

- piano shenanigans for @vicsy

“Fine, I’ll play along.” Pierre says as he sits down next to Charles on the little piano bench that was clearly not meant to house two grown men. His left foot comes out to the side to support himself in not falling off the seat. His right side is pressed against Charles, wondering how he could still even play the piano with their shoulders and elbows squished together, but Charles doesn’t seem to care, so neither does Pierre. 

“Alright, all you have to do,” Charles starts as Pierre is very much distracted by the sudden movement of Charles’ hand right in front of his face. The stretched out digits are clearly showing of the veins in his hands and it’s driving Pierre crazy. “Is to put your left hand -give me your hand, damnit- and put it on these two keys.” Charles positions Pierre’s pinky and ring finger on the keys he wants them on. “Every when I count, you put them on the fourth and eight count. Got it? So every four beats.” 

“Yeah. I got it.” Pierre doesn’t mention his mind running a 100 miles a minute, though. 

“Alright, and 1 2 3 4.” Charles starts to count and as he gets to the fourth beat, Pierre ungracefully pushes on the keys. The horrid sound quickly gets drawn out by the beauty of what Charles is producing on the other side of the piano. Both of his hands are flowing across the keys. When Pierre loses his concentration, he feels Charles’ heel dig into his foot, followed by a stern “Pierre”. 

Eventually, Pierre loses himself into the rhythm and he can keep it going while he can focus on the cute little expressions that adorn Charles’ face. 

Yeah, he’ll play along. 

[angelmichelangelo]

hi i noticed u reposted prompts yesterday and because i am literally on my hands and knees scavenging for autistic rise donnie fics i am going to request "stop looking at me like i'm damaged goods". you can make it as fluffy/angsty as you please; i trust you entirely to absolutely eat this concept

autistic donnie is. so important to me. i cradle him gently in my hands for you my friend. hope you enjoyed this :3 ty for trusting me with him lol

x

In the aftermath of Donnie’s meltdown, Leo gives him approximately fifteen and a half minutes to cool down, because in the lifetime that he has known his brother, he knows that those fifteen and a half minutes was enough time for him to clamber into bed, press his shell against the wall and take enough long, sobering breaths to dig around his hoodie pouch for his cell and for him to connect it with his bluetooth headphones and work through a good chunk of his chill playlist and settle the fuck down. Fifteen and half minutes go by. He approaches his bedroom door, knuckles rap gently against steel. Three, equally spaced taps. A pause. He doesn’t need to be welcomed in; if he wasn’t, he’d just be told to ‘go away and die’ from the other side, which he isn’t, so he allows himself to enter his room. As predicted, Don is wedged up against the wall by his bed, pillow tucked tight to his chest so he can chew the end of it between his teeth, headphones still blaring out his music loud enough to be heard in a second-hand-tinny kind of way; his eyes eventually skate upwards from his screen to watch Leo cross the room and drop himself onto the end of the bed with a sigh. It takes another two full minutes for Donnie to pause his music and paw his headphones off his head, letting them clatter to the floor without care. He says nothing, still chomping on the soggy remains of his pillowcase, giving Leo the floor to speak. “He didn’t mean it,” Leo says, eyeing his brother up with a steady look. “You know that.” Donnie’s mask wrinkles on the account of his brow quickly furrowing. He chews a little harder, grinding the material with circular motions of his jaw. Leo watches him for a second before he lounges backwards, shell hitting the wall, he’s almost trapping Donnie against the wall, but in a less-intrusive way. He sighs wearily. “He’s pretty upset,” he adds, hoping to coax something out of his brother. It does. He lets the pillow go from his jaws and shoots Leo an incredulous look, sitting up just on his elbows. “Good,” he says shortly. “So am I.” A breathy laughter bubbles up from Leo’s chest, squinting at his brother with slight askance. “Donnie, he’s twelve. He doesn’t—He doesn’t always get it.” Donnie actually hmphs and turns his head away, tongue feeling around for the wet material of the pillowcase and drawing it back between his teeth to chew. Leo does nothing but watch for a moment as his brother purposely ignores his presence. Because today’s meltdown was indeed brought to you by: Mikey making waffles. There had been a lot of noise and mess and everything happening at once when Don had come into the kitchen just to simply make himself toast. He’d snapped at their youngest, unable to bridle some of that bubbling frustration that was prone when he got rowdy and loud, and because Mikey was twelve and Donnie was thirteen, the pair of them overflowing with all of that incredible, powerful, teenage hormonal angst had caused something like a volcanic, chemical reaction the moment it breached into the others space.

“Don.” Leo says again, this time reaching out to place his hand on his shoulder, only to have it harshly shrugged off, Donnie’s head coming around to glare at him so fast it might just spin right off his shoulders. “I don’t care!” He says coldly and spitefully. His eyes are sharp and narrow, the corner of the pillow rests heavily in the corner of his mouth where he’s still begrudging to let it go. “I don’t care, he… he annoys me.” Leo frowns. “Yeah.” He says with a shrug of his shoulders, his hand retreating to rest lonely in his lap. “Little brothers tend to do that.” Donnie scoffs, now choosing to bury his head in said pillow, a long, drawn out sigh is muffled from where he’s pressing his snout against the plush. “Raph is gonna make him say sorry,” Leo tries. Donnie’s shoulder just hike upwards, like a dogs hackles rippling in self-defense. “I just wanted to make sure you were good first.”

Donnie finally peels his face away from where he was previously content with suffocating himself, face tight and angry looking. 

“That’s a surprise,” he says, voice icy and spiteful. “Raph usually lets his favorite brother get away with everything.”

Leo’s heart skips about in his chest at the accusation. “He doesn’t have favorites,” he says wearily, mouth opening to try and back his claim up when Donnie sits up suddenly, like a shaken up can of soda, he’s got all his energy back again just to fizz out over the top of him. “He so does. Mike is everyone’s favorite, making me the least favorite!”

There’s a wet glossy sheen to his eyes now that makes Leo want to press forward. He doesn’t, only because it looks like his brother might bite his hand off if he tries, so he just fixes his brother a sympathetic look and tries desperately again to calm him.

“That’s not true,” he says, then offering his brother a smile. “You’re my favorite.”

Donnie blinks at Leo, scowl still etched sharply across his features before he flops back down again. “You’re just saying that because there’s something wrong with me.”

Leo blanches. Not long ago, Don had clambered into Leo’s bed of an evening and shoved his phone under his beak and rattled off a list of symptoms and spectrums and a bunch of fancy words that didn’t quite compute with the turtle until his twin and gripped his arm with an iron bar hold and told him with a shaky breath,

“I think this is me, Nardo. I think this is what I have.”

Donnie sniffs and once again turns his head sideways, avoiding eye contact. “You can stop that.” He says, voice flat. “You can stop looking at me like I’m— I’m damaged goods.” Leo feels all the space in his chest around his heart go very tight very suddenly, all the air that occupied that space suddenly being sucked outwards, leaving him feeling somewhat hollow.

“You’re not damaged goods,” Leo tells him, as sternly as he could possibly muster, because even if he couldn’t quite catch his breath after such an accusation, he was gong to make damn good sure that his brother believed the words he spoke. Because Leo really didn’t see Donnie in that way whatsoever.

“I mean, you’re a little odd and strange but, dude,” he says, this time finding the courage to land a hand on his brother’s arm without him trying to shake him off or eat it. “It’s cool. You’ve always been cool.”

Donnie blinks at him, and the only time he moves Leo’s arm away is so that he can use the back of his wrist to scrub away at his wetted face, muffling a tiny little sob into his forearm.

“It’s okay, Dee,” he says, leaning in a little closer. “Do… do you need another fifteen minutes? Before Mike comes in to say sorry?”

Donnie says nothing, leaning into the warmth Leo offers him, but not before he’s gingerly slotting the chewed up corner of the pillowcase between his teeth, making a small laugh bubble out of Leo as he watches on.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he says softly, and Donnie says nothing more – he doesn’t have to, because as long as he knows where Leo stands on his viewpoint of his brother, favorite brothers aside, Don does indeed hold a very special, irreplaceable spot in the deepest parts of his chest, where there was no air and no ache, and that, to Leo was the very opposite of damaged goods.

That was something pretty damn amazing.

[jordie-gvf]

i’ll watch you bloom, sam kiszka

warnings : dad!sam, allusions to smut, slight breeding kink, language, nicknames

word count : 1.0k+

When you and Sam found out you were having a boy, Sam knew that they would go on so many adventures together. When you brought Kodiak home, the dogs were over the moon to meet their little brother.

As soon as Kodiak could walk, Sam had him outside with Rosie. They would play together in the backyard and you and Sam would sit on the back porch and watch them together. 

You could tell that Rosie was very protective of him. You and Sam took them to a dog friendly park. One dog got a little too close for her liking, she growled and lunged at the other dog. Thankfully, Sam was there to stop it from escalating.

Sam would take Kodiak out into the woods you had behind your secluded home, which also had a small river. Sam and Kodiak would always go back there and as Sam called it, “being one with nature.”

You loved seeing them together. Your boyfriend and your son, together at last.

Sam had asked you this morning if he could take Kodiak to woods that they have never been to. You said yes and let them go on their way. 

Your home was completely quiet. No Rosie, no Kodiak, and no Sam. You took this peaceful time to clean the house and take a shower, something you could never do alone.

You vacuumed, mopped, cleaned the entire kitchen, everything. When you got out of the shower, you could hear footsteps from downstairs. You quickly got dressed in a big hoodie with leggings and put your smiley slippers on.

You could hear your son calling you, “Mama! Mama!”

“I’m right here!” you told him, turning the corner and seeing him. You picked him up as he ran towards you and spun him around. 

You held him in your arms and hugged him for a solid minute. You put him back down on the floor and he held his hand out to you, “C’mere Mama, have something for you.” 

You grabbed onto your son's hand as he led you downstairs. You saw the dogs coming over to you when you heard Kodiak say, “Wait Mama! Close your eyes!” 

You closed your eyes and let him lead you into the kitchen. You felt Sam come up behind you and move your hair to kiss your neck.

He wrapped his arms around your waist and rested his head in the crook of your neck. You turned around to face him and embraced him.

“You guys have fun?”

“Lots, he wanted to go swimming in the river, but I told him that we could do it next time. The dogs had fun too, they ran around with the ball.”

Kodiak came running over to the two of you and said, “Look Mama! Look what I got for you!”

He handed you a bunch of wildflowers. You gasped and said, “Thank you so much! I love them! Wanna help me put them in a vase?”

He nodded and followed you into the living room. You grabbed your cowboy boot vase and added some plant food and water to it. You handed him the plants and he delicately placed them into the vase. 

Sam walked over to where the two of you were and said, “Look how pretty! Mama, we picked ones for you. For our favorite girl,”

“Mama isn't my favorite girl, Daddy. Rosie is my favorite girl!” 

He reached down to lightly pat her head. He then kissed her and sat with her on the couch. “Come on, Kodiak. You need a bath and a nap.”

He got up and let you carry him up the stairs to his bathroom. Sam came upstairs with you to get his pajamas and got his bed ready. 

You gave him a bath and put baby lotion on him. You handed him off to Sam to get him ready for his nap while you drained the tub and put his toys away.

Sam had put a piano into Kodiak’s room and always played it to help Kodiak to sleep. You left the room so they could be together and went downstairs. You made yourself some coffee and waited for Sam downstairs on the couch.

You heard the bedroom door close followed by footsteps that belonged to Sam. You could feel his presence behind you as you heard him whisper in your ear. 

“He is out like a light. What do you say we go upstairs and lay down for a few? I missed my girl.”

You tilted your head back to kiss him and he grabbed your mug and put it in the sink. When he returned from the kitchen, he held his hand out to you and motioned for you to take it. 

You interlocked your hand into his and let him take you upstairs. You got to the bedroom and Sam pulled the covers back and patted the bed, signaling you to lay down with him.

You laid down first and then he laid down on top of you. He rested his hands on your stomach beneath your sweatshirt. 

He sat up and helped you take your sweatshirt off, only to find you in a bralette. “Oh, the things you do to me, Love,” he exasperated, kissing your stomach. 

He leaned back down and kissed all the way down to the waistband of your leggings and said, “Should we make Kodiak a big brother? Hmm? He talks about it to me. He wants a sibling, come on.” 

He pulled your leggings down to your ankles and sat on his knees to rip the pants off your legs and tossed them to the floor. 

You grabbed his face and pulled him back to face you. You smashed your lips onto his and held onto his back. 

You gripped the bottom of his shirt and ripped it off his body. “I love it when you're rough with me, Baby. Love it so much,” he said and started kissing down your neck. You wrapped your legs around his waist until your feet touched his ass. 

You used your feet to push his pants down his legs. 

He stopped kissing your neck and looked you in your eyes and said, “Someone’s eager. What’s wrong, Love? Want my babies that bad?”

You grabbed the back of his head and forced his lips onto yours. 

“Sam?”

“Yeah, Lovey?”

“Shut up and fuck me.”

“Yes Ma’am.”