#i should've made this when i made the list at the end of last year

[driftwoodsix]

six's favourite albums of 2023:

samia - honey

haley blais - wisecrack

boygenius - the record

the japanese house - in the end it always does

ryan beatty - calico

mitski - the land is inhospitable and so are we

vérité - love you forever

hozier - unreal unearth

paramore - this is why

eloise - drunk on a flight

[feral4daryl]

I would love to see a fic of Daryl with pregnant reader (bonus points if there’s a breeding kink [if you’re comfortable, I didn’t see it in the list] that results in her being that way). She’s concerned about the changes in her body and that he doesn’t find her attractive in her condition. So, Daryl gets to share his love for pregophillia. :)

masterlist || MDNI

depths of your despair.

daryl dixon x pregnant!reader

summary: after a series of misunderstandings, insecurities regarding your pregnancy start affecting your relationship with daryl. but as soon as he becomes aware of that, he makes it up to you, worshipping your pregnant body like he should've done since the beginning.

warnings: 18+ smut, pregophilia, dirty talk, pet names, praising, cunnilingus, degradation, daddy kink, creampie, impregnation, arguments, rough sex, pregnancy sex, outdoors sex, slight choking, dacryphilia, self-consciousness, manhandling (if you squint), squirting.

word count: 8.1k

a/n: tysm for your request, i really enjoyed writing this one <3 it turned out a tiny bit more angsty than i intended it to but i promised it has a happy ending!

<flashback>

“Tha's righ', doll” Daryl cooed against your ear, harshly gripping your hips to keep you in place while he pounded your tight cunt at a fast pace. His chest pressing on your back, making your body shake with intense pleasure at his every thrust, each one deeper than the previous. You could feel his sweat wetting your body, barely able to keep your eyes open.

“Takin' daddy's cock so well like a good lil’ slut” The contrast between praising and degrading turns your brain into putty. That man knew all your weakest spots, he always knew exactly what to say to make you weak in the knees, struggling to keep yourself on your feet. You couldn't think of anything else or anyone else in that moment but him and the feeling of his big cock almost ripping your little cunny apart.

Daryl's always been the sweetest to you, always making sure you were safe, giving you all the shoulders when you cried, but when it came to sex, he was always just so eager and desperate for you that he couldn't help but be rough. He made every fucking feel like the last one, as if it was his last chance to ever lay his hands on you. He made it count, making you wonder how you were capable to have lived so many years without that man before you met him.

You tried to keep quiet, careful not to catch the attention of any of those walking dead fuckers' roaming around the woods while Daryl harshly abused you against a tree, whispering the dirtiest words into your ears. But he wasn't making it easy on you, and despite your effort, your moans and cries were getting louder and louder as you got closer to your high. He reveled in the way you bit your lips and threw your head back to rest it on his shoulder. He took the opportunity to let go of your hips and wrap his big arm around your throat, his other palm now pressing against your lips in an attempt to muffle your sounds.

“Shhh...” He shushed you. “Be nice 'n quiet fer daddy, yea?” His teasing words and a small nibble on your earlobe from him were all it took to make your legs finally fail as you sank to your knees. Instead of holding you up, he nearly finished throwing you on the dirt, laying your body flat on it. The tickling of the leaves and the rough texture of the ground could almost bother you if you weren't so lost in pleasure. He got even rougher, if that was possible, banging his hips against your ass so hard that made your moans shaky and your eyes start tearing up.

He loved whenever he gave you so much pleasure that you cried on his cock, the sight of thick tears running down your cheeks only fueling his twisted desires for you.

“Aww, wha's the matter, sunshine?” He mocked you, his voice coming out a bit louder than he expected. His piercing blue eyes looked around for a moment, searching for any threats but never stopping railing you. When he found none, he fully returned his attention to you, noticing the way your moans had practically dissipated and your had your eyes shut tight, a clear sign that you were dangerously close to cumming.

“Gunna cum fer daddy?” The volume of his groans and grunts getting harder and harder to hold back. You weren't able to speak with his hand pressed against your mouth and almost couldn't breathe with his big bicep wrapped around your throat, but you managed to nod slightly.

“Fuck, 'm gunna cum!” His needy voice filled your empty mind and you felt his hips stuttering when the rhythm of his thrusts started faltering. “Gunna fill ya up, make ya heavy w' ma babies.” You widened your eyes out, it was the first time he ever said something like that. But you were willing to give that man all he wanted, make his every wish come true like your life depended on it. You wouldn't say no to him and honestly, the thought of caring his children strangely turned you on even further. A faint smirk managed to creep on your face.

“Ya wan' tha', beautiful? Ya wan' Daddy ta make ya pregnant, hm?” How could you ever say no to him when the neediness in his voice was so obvious?

“P-please, fuck a baby into me.” The strangled sound of your voice while you begged him to fill you up was the fuse for him to finally start shooting ropes of cum into your velvety walls. Your tight pussy clenched around his cock as you weren't able to stop your own orgasm from dominating all your senses. It was like the world stopped spinning and the whole Universe contributed to make that moment perfect.

As both of you came down from your highs, Daryl gently brushed a strand of hair off your cheek, tugging it behind your ear to place a soft kiss to your temper. In that moment, the sounds of your labored breathing as you struggled to catch your breath was all that could've been heard until he let out a light chuckle.

“Can't believe we did this.” You could hear a smile in his voice while he pressed his cheek against the back of your head for a last time before adjusting his position, sitting down on the dirt and gently grabbing your arms, helping you do the same. Even though you were in the middle of the woods, you couldn't care less about it. All you wanted was to be in Daryl's strong embrace. “But I'm glad we did” You whispered, snuggling his chest.

<end of flashback>

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀~4 months later~

It still felt vivid.

It's like you could still feel his love from 4 months ago, the way he groped your body and made love to you like it was the last time. How ironic, if somebody told you that was actually the last time, you would have laughed right in their face. Now, as you unwrapped the towel off your naked body and tossed it aside to stare at yourself into the mirror, you wondered if you'd made the right choice, if you really should've let the heat of the moment get the best of you.

Your belly was round and your bellybutton was puffing out, an unusual look to you but it's been your reality for the past 4 months. You didn't really know how to feel about it. You were happy to be the one having the privilege to carry Daryl's baby, but at the same time it still felt so new and strange to you. And the way he felt so distant since the day when he knocked you up was not helping you feel any better about it.

He wasn't exactly neglectful of your needs as a pregnant woman. He was always around you, making sure you were safe, helping you through the symptoms of pregnancy, holding your hair up whenever you threw up. He was there, but at the same time, he wasn't.

4 months ago Daryl used to be so eager for you, always so thirsty for you. And now, he just left you aching for his touch. Whenever you tried to initiate some intimacy, he turned you down, leaving you confused at his strange behavior. He definitely wasn't the type of guy to refuse sex, at least not after knowing you, so you started wondering if you were the problem.

The stretch marks on your belly were getting more and more obvious as the time passed, your breasts all swelled up with milk. You gained some weight, and as you leaned in closer to check on your face on the mirror, you could see how round your face was getting.

Disgust.

That's what you felt when you looked at yourself. You were so sure your looks were the reason why Daryl wanted nothing to do with your body ever since you got pregnant. As that feeling filled up your whole body, you quickly started putting some clothes on, not able to look at yourself like that not even for one more second. Maybe he didn't like you in dresses, you wondered, trying to find a reasonable motive for his absence when it came to the moments of intimacy between you two that used to be so frequent and special in your relationship. Anyways, loose dresses were all that fit your body as your belly grew bigger and bigger each day.

It just broke your heart. The feeling of helplessness took over you as thick tears ran down your face, smearing the makeup you started to put on to see if it would make him even just a little bit interested in you. But just as all your other attempts, it was useless. You brought your soft palm to your mouth to muffle your sobs, but that only reminded you of how Daryl used to do the same exact thing to muffle your moans when he loved your body. More and more tears streamed down your cheeks as you reminisced your last time together like that.

You made a decision. You didn't want to suffer like that anymore, so you decided that you were gonna try to get his attention for the last time before shutting down completely. You didn't wanna give his love up, but you were so tired of practically begging for him only for him to brush you off every time. You sighed and looked at yourself on the mirror for the last time, wiping your tears away and taking a deep breath before going about your day.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀~Later that same day~

It was dark and Daryl still hadn't come home from his run. He was out scavenging, or hunting, you weren't even sure since you didn't bother to ask much. You had promised yourself that you were going to try to be intimate with him one last time, but that day he just vanished, leaving you waiting for him all day until you gave up waiting. You weren't only disappointed, you were almost angry at him, trying to give him a taste of his own medicine. But who were you trying to fool? That didn't make you feel better at all and you weren't sure if he noticed it.

It was happening again, that one familiar knot started forming in your throat as your lips pouted and you pulled the blanket over your head, feeling embarrassed at your own vulnerability. You brought a hand to your own belly, gently stroking it. Oh, how you loved that little bundle of happiness that was growing inside you. But at the same time, you felt so strange about it. You loved your baby, that's for sure, but you felt like it was the reason why Daryl didn't want you anymore. At the same time it made you hopeful of a new beginning in life, it was reminder of the day when Daryl stopped finding you attractive, even remotely.

Once again you weren't able to hold your sobs back, but this time, you were forced to abruptly swallow them down when you heard the creak sound of the door being gently pulled open. You knew who it was, and you almost wish you didn't.

“Pumpkin'?” Daryl's quiet voice filled the room as he called you that stupid nickname he only used when he knew you were feeling down. You didn't answer.

Light footsteps could be heard getting closer and closer to the bed before you felt the weight of his body on the edge of the mattress. “Y/N, hun'?” He called for you again, but when he got no answer for the second time, he reached for you, gently touching your arm from over the blanket.

“What do you want?" Your tone sounded a bit harsher than you intended to, but you didn't care. He sighed.

“I think we need ta talk, pumpkin'” He voice, making you even more frustrated.

“Quit calling me that, alright?” The muffled sound of your voice reached his ear, and he flinched a little at your sudden aggressiveness, removing his hand from you.

He was silent for a moment, digesting your strange reaction after speaking again with an even softer tone. “Aigh'.” He sighed. “Listen, Y/N...” It's like he was struggling to form a sentence. He was never really the type of person to have the right words or to know what to say to comfort somebody, but he tried nonetheless.

“I need ta know wha's happenin' if ya wan' me ta help.” He muttered. You almost felt guilty at the way you were treating him, but you had enough.

“Ugh, Daryl.” The way you said his name had a hint of scorn, a clear reflexion of the troubled feelings in your heart. You finally pulled the blanket off your face, lifting your body up to sit down on the mattress in a quick and almost aggressive motion. “Who the fuck said I need your help? Just leave me alone, ignore me like you always do.” You spitted out, looking deep into Daryl's widened out eyes. “I don't want you here.” You continued. You knew damn well you were saying all that because you thought that's how he felt, like some sort of revenge, but your heart was broken because of him. It was his fault and you were tired of pretending everything was okay. “Why don't you go fuck some other slut out there? Maybe they're better, thinner, prettier than me!” Your tone was filled with hurt as you voiced your insecurities. “Maybe you should be with them once and for all.” You practically whispered that last line, muttering under your breath.

The truth was you started considering the possibility of Daryl having an affair behind your back ever since you got pregnant. And you just couldn't take it, you couldn't help the way your heart shattered at the thought of Daryl putting his hand on another woman, making her feel good just how he used to do when he still loved you. You were so sure he hadn't left you yet just because he wouldn't be able to live with himself knowing that he left a pregnant woman behind. You knew that was the only reason was he still bothered to even talk to you.

Daryl was so dumbfounded by your attitude, since you were usually such a sweet and caring person, that he freezed. He didn't know what to say or do, so he just sit there, looking obviously negativity affected by your harsh words, wondering what the hell did he do to deserve that kind of treatment.

“Y/N-” He started talking, but you were having none of it. You spent so long begging him attention that now you just didn't want it anymore. When he threatened to scoop closer in a final attempt to ease things out, you surprised him by pushing him away from you with your hand pressed on his chest. “Get out!" You practically yelled. That was the most shocked you've ever seen Daryl's face before. After a moment, he averted his gaze to the floor, looking lost in thought before standing up and nodding slowly, knowing better than to push you harder. He walked to the door and closed it behind him, finally leaving you alone as you wanted him to. Or at least that's what you thought.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ *One week later*

You haven't seen Daryl since your last one-sided argument. If you missed him before, now the feeling got even worse. Ever since he closed that door a week ago, you haven't even heard of him. Maybe he'd left you for good. But could you blame him? You literally kicked him out of your life like it didn't matter. But after all, he was the one that made it feel like it didn't matter. That's what you had to keep feeling yourself, trying to comfort your poor soul or make yourself feel any less guilty. It didn't really work, though.

You tried. When he was gone for the first day, you wasted no time before trying to make it up to all the time you lost longing for him. You flirted with random men and women, trying to catch a glimpse of that feeling you used to get when Daryl gave you attention, but it wasn't the same, it didn't feel remotely similar. Maybe pushing him away like that was a mistake, maybe you had really lost him.

But fuck it. You were pregnant with his baby and he still had the gut to leave you behind. You had every single right to be mad and to try to restart your life, this time away from him. Even though it had been only one week, it felt like an eternity, every second he wasn't there made you feel every cell on your body begging for him, but you couldn't give in.

Sigh.

Spencer. You noticed the way he looked at you before and after you got pregnant. His gaze didn't change, he still licked his lips and looked you up and down with that stupid smirk on his face everytime you walked by. He was often the reason for arguments between you and Daryl when you were still together, but now, there was nothing stopping you. Not that you were attracted to him exactly, to be honest, he kind of annoyed you, but you just wanted to try. You just wanted to give yourself a chance to be loved, actually loved, not only for your looks. Deep inside, you knew you were just needy to feel something, anything, but you couldn't be blamed for wanting to feel okay after such a long time of feeling neglected.

You turned your head to search for him just to notice he was already staring from afar. You turned your head to face forward again, feeling a bit uncomfortable at the way he looked at you. Now that Daryl was gone, that type of behavior wasn't unusual coming from Spencer. He got even more spunky than before, flirting with you every single time he had the opportunity to. You swallowed your pride, trying to convince yourself that you were actually into him, taking a moment to decide whether or not to approach him and try something. You knew he wouldn't reject you, you just needed to dominate your heart that was still very much in love with Daryl and move on with your life, and maybe trying something with someone new was the first step to finally get over him.

As you gathered up the nerve to walk over to Spencer, slowly turning your body, you gasped in surprise noticing that he was already standing behind you. You were so lost in thought that you didn't even hear him approaching you.

“Easy there, doll.” He uttered. It felt weird to have anyone else that wasn't Daryl calling you pet names, but you quickly shook those thoughts away, trying to focus on the present. “Hey.” You answered, sounding significantly more uninterested than you meant to.

“What's eating you?” He pondered with a hint of playfulness in his voice and that stupid grin once again when he noticed your stiffness.

“Nothing.” You faked a smile. “What you been up to?” You tried to remain polite but flirty at the same time, trying your best to cover up how much you found him annoying. It was for the best, you thought. You just needed to adapt.

“Well...” He came closer. You had to fight all the urges to step away. “You know, the usual. I was just...” His fingers brushed your cheek before tugging a strand of hair behind your ear. Too close. But you continued playing along as he resumed his speech. “... Admiring your beauty.” God, could he get any cornier than that? It's like everyone that wasn't Daryl just looked so stupid trying to get your attention. There was you again, thinking about the archer. You sighed, failing to mask your lack of interest towards Spencer, but you managed to speak either way.

“Uh... Thanks...” You scratched the back of your head, feeling uncomfortable at his advances, but you tried to remind yourself that that whole thing meant a new start.

He looked so full of himself when he puffed his chest and had the audacity to say: “Can I follow you home?” You tilted your head in confusion. “Huh?” For the first time since you acknowledged his presence, he actually had your attention.

“Cause my parents always told me to follow my dreams.” He said that as if it was the most genius thing one could say. You had to make physical effort not to throw up or burst out laughing right there and then. The hell was that supposed to mean? Were you really the type of woman to fall for corny pick-up lines? But... You didn't really had other options. You had to give him a chance, maybe he was the one.

Either way, you couldn't bring yourself to say anything, so you just stood there with a stupid fake smile on your face. Spencer must've interpreted that as an invitation, because he leaned in, his face inches away from yours. You two weren't even 3 minutes into that conversation and he was already all over you. You wondered if that whole situation was awkward just for you, because he behaved as if he had you wrapped tight around his finger.

You really, really wanted to start running right away from him, but you were paralyzed, trying to decide if you should stay or go. But before you could make up your mind, he pulled you in by the back of your head, connecting your lips together.

Ugh.

It was probably the most awkward kiss of your life, as if you just forgot how to kiss in that moment. You widened your eyes out at the uncalled situation, and as he licked, bit and kissed your lips, yours remained stiff, like he was kissing you but you weren't kissing him. You felt deeply disgusted. What were you doing? Just like your lips, your arms were rigid on your sides, but his hands were roaming all over your body. You felt assaulted, even though you were allowing him to do that.

You wondered how the hell you ended up there: pregnant, with a missing boyfriend and making out with some douchebag out of emotional deprivation. In that moment, it finally clicked, you were just trying to fill the hole Daryl's absence left in your heart, and putting up with Spencer's audacious manners was no way of dealing with grief.

You finally pushed him away, accidentally sounding too annoyed. “See you around.” You spitted out before turning around and leaving him standing there in confusion, or maybe confidence, you didn't know since you didn't bother to study his reaction before quickly entering the house you were settled in in Alexandria.

You closed the door behind you, pressing your hands on your face, fighting the urge to scream and let all that frustration out. You slowly slid your back against the wooden door until your bottom reached the floor. If one word could describe you right now, it was helpless. For the hundredth time in the past few months, you started crying. It was like it was all you knew how to do since you lost control of your life. Oh, how you regretted that one moment 4 months ago where you slipped, causing your life to be destroyed right before your eyes while not being able to do a thing about it. Now not only you felt ugly, but you felt ugly and lonely. Your sobs got louder and louder as you wrapped your arms around your legs, lowering your head to press your forehead to your knees.

Knock-knock

Suddenly, you heard a knock at the door. You abruptly interrupted your crying, feeling embarrassed at the possibility that someone's heard you like that. After a few seconds, you heard another knock. You sighed.

“Leave me alone...” You muttered loud enough to be heard from the other side of the door. You knew it was probably Carol coming to visit, maybe bringing you some cookies or something like that to make you feel better. It was so sweet of her, but you hated how everyone was treating you ever since Daryl disappeared. You just couldn't take the look in their eyes, the so obvious pity they felt. After all, you were a recently abandoned mother, and Carol along with your other group mates, just wanted to be there for you. Little did they know they were just making it worse.

When you were starting to think the person finally left, you heard a third knock on the door. Whoever was there, didn't seem to be giving up soon. You almost felt grateful for having someone give a shit about you, but deep down you just wanted to be left alone. You breathed out for a last time before standing up with difficulty due to your heavy pregnant belly and reaching for the doorknob, contemplating whether you should let them in or not. Then, you turned it and slowly pulled the door open.

Your eyes remained glued to the floor, not having the courage to look into anyone's eyes right now. Then, to your surprise, a familiar hoarse voice made its way to your ears.

“The hell was tha'?” You swiftly lifted you chin up, locking eyes with him, the man who left you when you needed him the most. He definitely had seen your pathetic attempt of feeling appreciated with Spencer. For a millisecond, you were actually relieved to see Daryl, but quickly enough anger flooded your senses once again. It's like it was all coming back to you, the same exact feeling from one week ago when you saw him for the last time making your blood boil once again. How did he dare to disappear into the world and then come back as if nothing happened?

You didn't wanna waste no more time with him and that situation anymore, it was just too nerve-wracking and you just needed a break from all that. So you aggressively pushed the door aiming to slam it on his face, but he was more cunning and placed a hand on the way, stopping it from closing all the way.

“Please, Y/N!” He almost shouted, visibly impatient. You turned your back and started walking further into the house, ignoring his calls for you.

“Can ya please just talk ta me?!” He continued, following you around. You remained trying to disconsider his presence.

“Why r ya doin' this fer, woman?!” Now, he finally yelled. It was the first time he ever raised his voice at you. In that moment, you felt like any hint of the caring man you once loved had faded away forever. The feeling hit you like a truck and you stopped your angry steps, turning around so your back was facing him. You couldn't stop your tears from falling not even if you wanted to, and suddenly, all your anger was replaced with a deep sadness. You weren't even trying to muffle your loud noises, sniffing and sobbing hard. When he saw you like that, he decided to just drop it and pretend like he hadn't seen you kissing that bastard. It felt a sacrifice to him, but he didn't want to make you feel worse than you already did.

For a few moments, Daryl gave you some space, not trying to startle you or make things worse. Then, after a while of silence and almost feeling as if you were alone in the room, you felt a warm breath hitting your ear. Shivers ran down your spine, something you hadn't felt in such a long time.

He studied your reaction, and when he felt it was okay to touch you, he wrapped his arms around you, pulling your back closer to his chest. That made you cry even harder, the sting in your heart getting worse. But at the same time, it felt so good to finally be in his embrace once again. You had missed his strong arms and his warmth so bad, it was a mix of confusion and relief. You wanted to push him away, yell at him, tell him to go, but the second his scent of cigarettes and wet grass filled your nose, you knew you wouldn't be able to. That's how much you missed him, though you weren't ready to asmit it just yet.

“Jus'... lemme talk to ya..." He whispered, placing a soft kiss to the skin behind your ear. And just like that, you melted in his hands. You had no idea what to say, but you were willing to listen to whatever came out of his mouth.

“I jus' wanna know wha' happened. I understand, 'm s'pposed ta know and 'm a dick fer not knowing, but... If ya don' talk ta me, I... I jus' won' know how ta make things righ'.” He was so gentle with his words, so caring. He sounded actually worried, making the situation so puzzling to you. You opened to mouth to speak, but nothing came out of it.

“Ya said sumthin' 'bout me goin' out with other women...” He spoke after a few seconds. “Wha'... Wha' was that all about? I would never...” Daryl didn't really have a way with his words, but you could see he was putting effort into talking to you and trying to fix things. The way he kept you tightly into his hug and his fingers brushed gently against your arm were actually being helpful, and your sobs slowly faded away as your tears stopped falling.

“You don't want me anymore." That's all you managed to speak before you felt tears threatening to fall once again, but you inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly, trying to keep calm. You couldn't see his face, but Daryl furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

“Wha'd'ya mean, hun'?” Those pet names never failed to make you weak in the knees. “I couldn't ever, ever stop wantin' ya. Ever.” He whispered the last word. As he did so, he traveled one hand down your plump belly, caressing it ever so gently. It almost made you want to cry again.

“Then where did you go? Why'd you leave me? Why'd ya even come back?” Even though you stopped crying, your voice was still unstable.

“...'Cuz ya asked me ta and I... I wanted ta respect yer choice. 'M here now 'cuz... I can't live withoutcha. I... need a second chance.” Now, he was the one with a shaky voice. Seeing him like that broke your heart.

“I told you to leave because I didn't wanna force you to be with me. I didn't...” You gulped. “I didn't wanna baby trap you or something like that, I don't know...” You sniffed. Throughout that whole conversation, you kept your arms stiff. But then, you lifted one of them to wipe your nose with back of your hand.

“...I don' get it.” He mouthed. You sighed, finally turning to look at him. After such a long time, looking into his eyes was a remedy to your infirm heart.

“Look, Daryl, I know I'm not in my best shape, alright? I know this whole 'baby' thing changed me, I know that my body ain't the same anymore. All these stretch marks, my face, my belly, I know it all deforms me and...” He just stood there with an unreadable expression. “...And you have every reason not to find me attractive anymore, and I'm just so sorry that I kept pushing you into having sex with me, I should've just given you some space, I...” Those stubborn tears you've been trying to hold back finally get the best of you. “I'm sorry that I snapped at you, I'm sorry that I've been such a bitch, you... You shouldn't see me like this, and... And I-”

Daryl interrupted your babbling nonsense, grabbing your face with both of his hands and pulling you in for what felt like your first kiss. It was probably the most gentle you've ever been kissed in your whole life. You didn't know you craved the warmth of his calloused hands against your wet cheeks that badly until you had it. Everytime a thick tear dared to run down your beautiful face, he quickly wiped it away with his thumbs. After what felt like an eternity, he slowly broke the kiss, but remained with his forehead pressed against yours.

“Yer the most beautiful woman 've ever seen.” His sweet whispers made you finally feel safe after feeling lost for so long. “N there's nuthin', nuthin' in this world tha' could ever change tha'.” You were left speechless as he contradicted you. “If only ya knew how badly I wanted ta touch ya... It's not easy seein' you walk 'round all heavy with ma babies, knowin' I was the one tha' made ya like this n not bein' able to eat you up alive... God, ya look so...” He let out a guttural grunt. “...So fuckin' hot.”

Your mind was rushing. So this whole time he didn't think you looked terrible? He actually... Liked it? In your head, it made no sense.

“If you wanted me so badly, then why did you reject me over and over again?” There was a very obvious hint of hurt in your voice, like you were trying hard to believe his words but your own insecurities were stopping you. He averted his gaze from your eyes for the first ever since you broke the kiss. For a moment, he looked in a contemplative state.

“I got scared.” He admitted. Your eyes narrowed.

“...Of what?” You asked. What could ever make Daryl, the most brave man you know, scared?

“Hurtin' ya.” You tilted your head, still not convinced of his reasons. Your silence served as a cue for him to resume speaking. “Seein' you like this... I jus' wanted ta protect you. I... I never thought I'd ever have a child of my own 'n... I don' know how ta say this, but...” His thumb brushed against your cheek once again. “...I thought ya were doin' this fer me. I thought maybe, I dunno... Maybe you felt like ya had to be there fer me, y'know, sexually...” He was stuttering and struggling to speak his mind. “I felt like if I said yes... I'd be forcin' ya.” He placed a peck on your soft lips. “But I do wan' ya. 'Ve been wantin' ta have ma way with ya fer so long...” He closed his eyes.

“Then what's stopping you?” You challenged him. You almost felt stupid for thinking he didn't want you that whole time and he was actually just trying to protect you. As those words left your mouth, his eyes snapped open, and suddenly, they had a different aura to them. They were darker.

I'm a swift motion, Daryl pulled you in for another kiss, but this time, a more needy one. Though his touch showed he was aching for you, it was still gentle. He didn't wanna hurt you, after all you were still pregnant.

He gently bit down on your bottom lip, pulling it between his teeth before letting it snap back. His piercing gaze found yours and the way he smirked at you made your body tremble in anticipation.

His hands found the strap of your dress, slightly fidgeting with the tied bow strap over your shoulder just to tease you. And when he finally undid it, your dress slid down your body and onto the floor, revealing your semi-bareness to him.

That's when it kicked again, your self-consciousness taking a hold of you and in a flash, you felt the urge to cover yourself up. Daryl hadn't seen you naked ever since the last time you were intimate together, you two even stopped showering at the same time due to all of the previous misunderstandings. It almost felt like one of those dreams where you're completely naked in school, vulnerably standing in front of the judging eyes of everyone else, even though you were still in your underwear. As you felt your face warming up in embarrasement, you shifted your hands to your swollen breasts and your legs instinctively closed.

Your shy manners didn't go unnoticed by Daryl's attentive eyes. “Hun'...” He brought his hands to your own, softly stroking them until you eased your grasp on your breasts. “Ya can trust me.” He murmured. You took a deep breath and you finally let your hands fall to the side, fully revealing your bra to his sight. A smirk tugged on the corner of his mouth and he looked lost in your beauty.

“God, look at those tits...” He said mainly to himself. The way your breasts were all swollen, all heavy with milk awakened desires within him he didn't even know he had. He reached behind your back to unclasp your bra, removing it and tossing it aside.

He wondered how he was able to deny his attention to those beauties for so long. If he had properly talked to you about his intentions from the beginning, probably none of that misinterpretation would've happened, he thought. But that time wasn't one to mourn, but to cherish. Without warnings, he grasped one of your nipples with his mouth like a starving man while gently but firmly squeezing your other one. You let out a small squeak of pleasure, blushing at his sudden eagerness. Some of your milk leaked, and he was quick to lap at the liquid, wasting none of it. The sweet and mild taste of your essence coated his tongue, sending shock waves of ecstasy all the way down to his cock and in no time, his pants started feeling way too tight. But in that moment, he just wanted to make you feel good and appreciated, so he payed little to no mind to his forming erection.

“Ya taste so fuckin' good.” He groaned against your skin. You were too embarrassed to say anything, but you loved when he talked dirty like that to you, it made your pussy even wetter if that was even possible. He kept his attention to your breasts for a while, teasing, flicking and sucking on them until your nipples felt sore. Then, he made a trail of kisses from your under boob until his lips reached your belly button, slowly sinking down on his knees. He placed soft kisses all over your round belly.

“Look at ya, carryin' ma babies like a good girl.” He looked up at you for a moment, biting his lips at you. You gave him a shy smile, clearly affected by his sweet praising, and he found you so adorable like that. He'd been wanting to put his hands on you for so, so long and he finally had the opportunity to. You looked prettier than ever and he was determined to convince you.

“Let's get ya settled, yea?” And with that, he carefully picked you up bridal style, paying attention not to hurt you. He carried you to the couch, laying you down on it on your back, too eager to go upstairs and to your room, he wanted it there and then. Now, feeling a little more confident thanks to all his praising, your legs instinctively spread themselves out for him, revealing a wet stain on your white panties, clear sign of your arousal.

That sight made a smirk creep on his face, his hands roaming up and down your legs as he pulled them even further apart. “Is this all fer me?” He asked, even though he already knew the answer. You were so visibly surrendered to him, he could see how much you missed him because he shared the same exact longing.

His hands slowly made their way down to your core, his thumb gently rubbing your clit in circling motions over the fabric of your panties. You were so desperate to feel anything that you felt like his most subtle touch could make you cum in the same second. Still, you wanted more. You needed more.

“D-Dar...” You muttered under your breath, throwing your head back as his finger starting working your clit a bit faster and adding a little more pressure. “Wha' is it, doll, hm? Tell me what ya need.” His teasing words only made you more hungry for him. “Mmm...” You protested, struggling to put your desires into words. “C'mon, jus' say the word and I'll give it ta ya.” He encouraged you with the sweetest tone, slowing down his motions against your extremely sensitive clit just to tease you.

“Eat my fucking cunt like you mean it.” You spitted out, your voice all shaky with need, and even you were surprised at your own bold words.

“Don' need ta tell me twice.” He said before pulling your panties to the side in one swift motion and diving into your wetness, quickly starting his assault on your clit and lapping at your folds. He practically buried his face into you, eating you out like it was the last time. Your back arched in that same second and you already felt embarrassingly close to orgasming. He noticed the way you squirmed and moaned for him, grasping his hair with both hands and humping his face, smearing your slickness all over his handsome features.

And he let you use him for your pleasure however you pleased. That night was about you and about making up to all that wasted time. “D-Daryl...!” Your tone was one of warning. You were barely two minutes in but you could already feel the first orgasmic contractions forming in your lower belly. The way you said his name, he knew damn well you were about to make a mess on his face, and he was all in for it.

You threw your head back and let out a loud high-pitched moan as you coated his tongue with your wetness, and all he could do was hum against your sensitive skin, sending vibrations all over your cunt and intensifying the sensation. Despite your first signs of overstimulation, he continued enthusiastically lapping at your juices until you were a quivering mess under his tongue. You had to manually give his head a very gentle push so you could have a break from that intense pleasure. You chuckled at his excitement to please you. If you had ever felt insecure about any of that before, you couldn't remember it.

He lifted his head up, placing tender kisses on your pregnant belly once again, stroking it lovingly. “Ya want me ta fuck ya, darlin'?” He said as he crawled up your body, getting face to face with you. You wrap your arms around his neck, forcing his lips against yours in a sensual dance. “'M takin' that as a yes” He voiced with a hint of playfulness. The thought of being inside you made his cock throb even harder inside his pants, and he knew he just couldn't wait any longer. He reached for his belt, quickly unbuckling it and taking it off. Then, he unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, pushing it down his thighs alongside with his black briefs just enough to free his cock.

Oh, you missed it so fucking badly. You two used to fuck like rabbits before, and after going 4 whole months without getting dicked down by your man, you were more than desperate to feel him. Now, you finally understood your pregnancy wasn't any type of obstacle for sharing pleasure with him.

You stared down at his now visible erection. He was girthy, and you could feel your cunt stretching out just by looking at him. A small droplet of pre-cum threatened to run down his length, from the tip all the way down to his full balls. When you averted your gaze to his face, you could see he was admiring you while you took in the sight of his cock. Your eyes got all sparkly in anticipation, sharing a knowing look with him. You didn't have to say anything and he was always brushing his tip on your slit.

He gently tapped your clit with his tip, watching closely for your reaction, his smirk not fading away not even for one second. Your pussy was so slippery with your wetness that when he pressed his cock against your slit, it went in with ease.

“Fuck.” You moaned in unison. The feeling of his cock going in for the first time was always one of your favorite parts of fucking Daryl. He tried to hold back a little, still careful not to hurt you since you were pregnant after all, but when you wrapped your legs around his waist, he couldn't help but bury his whole cock inside you in one harsh thrust, yearning loud moans from both of you.

You didn't care at all if it hurt or not, you just needed to feel him inside you. He shut his eyes tight and it was obvious that he was fighting the urge to burst right in that same second. He gritted his teeth and leaned in to press his forehead against yours, slowly starting to move his hips. He wasn't exactly thrusting, it was more like humping his cock inside you, which made you grow more and more impatient. You needed him to pound you.

“P-please, Daryl, just... just fuck me already.” The clear frustration on your voice did it for him, and in no time, he started harshly banging his hips against yours, giving you no time to adjust to the pace. Squelching sounds, your moans and the sound of your skins slapping against each other filled the room in a dirty orchestra. The intense smell of sex made you dizzy.

You were so cock-hungry you could fuck that man for days straight without breaks, and as he gently groped your pregnant belly, you knew he wanted you just as much. You couldn't hold back a smile at the sensation of his palms and fingers gently caressing you, contrasting with his hard thrusts inside your pussy.

It was your favorite whenever he treated you like that, with a mix of tenderness and an urge to absolutely rail you. “Fuck, feels so fuckin' good inside this wet cunt.” The archer almost sounded vulnerable. “'M gunna give ya even more babies, princess.” He whispered, his voice a little more high-pitched than usual. The thought of feeling his warm load inside you again made your mind rush and once again, you felt yourself getting closer and closer to your high.

As the pleasure grew more intense, your tight walls clenched around Daryl's thick cock, making his legs tremble as he struggled to keep his composure. “Shit baby, if ya keep squeezin' me tight like tha' 'm not gunna last long.” He admitted through gritted teeth. “Don't hold back, give it to me.” Your encouragement words only fueled Daryl's desires even further.

You felt so full, his thrusts getting deeper and deeper, filling you up to the brim. He was still holding onto your round belly, gently not to hurt you, and when you clenched your cunt around him one last time, he moaned louder than ever before.

“Fuckin' take it!” His whole body was shaking as his orgasm coursed through his body. The sight of him like that was so sexy, so dirty and raw that you couldn't help but squirt all over his cock. You didn't even know you could do that, and Daryl looked just as surprised as you as you drenched his cock and lower belly with your arousal. He buried his length deep inside you one last time as the final spurts of his warm cum coated your insides, keeping that position.

“I love ya, Y/N. Dontcha ever forget that again, woman.” He said, placing sweet little pecks all over your face, making you giggle like a little child. “Yer stuck with me. Both of ya.” His hand never left your pregnant belly that whole time, and now, he gently brushed his thumb on it.

“I love you more.” You confessed, bringing a hand to his cheek to cup it, feeling the rough texture of his salt-and-pepper facial hair against your soft hand. As he slightly shifted his position with his cock still deep inside you, you felt how he was still rock hard and ready for you. After such a long waiting, he wasn't ready to stop just yet.

“Round two?” You asked, already predicting his answer.

“Fuck yeah.”

a/n: hi there!! just passing by to thank you for reading this. i know it's not even close to perfect but it took me 10+ hours to write, so i really appreciate you if you read it this far! as i've said before, i'm a beginner writer, so i'm still on the process of adapting and i'm really thankful for all the support you've been showing me. see ya!

[hotchfiles]

40&48 with hotch and bau reader!! age gap 😏 lil teasing 😏

help me get these two specific blorbos out of my head, the prompt list"I think we're on a first name basis by now." + "there's no way that was just a one-night thing."

You groaned louder than you should've been, honestly, your forehead hitting the pile of papers on your table as your boss called you into his office at the end of the day. You had spent the whole day feeling victorious that you were able to avoid being alone with him, attaching either Spencer or Emily to your hip whenever you had to even get close to his office.

It would be so much better if he just ghosted you, the whole conversation where he tells you you're too young, that you should be with someone Spencer's age, about hierarchy and power imbalances... You had everything he probably wanted to say to you already ingrained in your mind.

From the moment you woke up to your bed half empty, your clothes folded and no SUV to be seen down the street, you knew to him it had been a mistake to lean into your advances, to accept your hands pulling his tie, to get into the elevator of your building with his hand on the small of your back.

You could deal with that, you were a professional, mostly. But having to hear him say it would be too humiliating and you couldn't even avoid it, he was your boss, you couldn't be insubordinate and you couldn't let anyone suspect something was happening.

The paperwork in your hands seem more interesting to you for a second after you put it on his table, trying not to look at him. The door closed behind and the blinds shut. You felt your cheeks warm up in embarrassment, last time you were so openly rejected was during your freshman college year and it broke you for weeks.

And the boy was nothing compared to the man getting up and leaning on his table to be closer to you. Aaron even reaches for your hands, as a reflex you flinch, putting both in your pockets. "What's on your mind? You've avoided me all day." He doesn't force you to accept his touch, crossing his arms in front of his chest as the question filled the air.

"Listen, Hotch—Sir—" His hands shake along with his head in denial, confusion.

"I think we're on a first name basis by now." After the countless times you whispered and moaned his name the night before it was only fair that between the two of you, you called him Aaron, it made the most sense to him.

"Aaron." You nod, teeth to your bottom lip for a second trying to find the less awkward way to tell him he was off the hook, no need to explain anything. "I was trying to make this whole one night stand thing easier." The admission feels silly on the tip of your tongue, especially when his known furrowed brows soften and his lips turn into a smirk.

His hands tentatively go to your hips, pulling you to him when you didn't flinch, touching your forehead with his so that you're so close both your breaths are the same as he speaks, "there's no way that was just a one-night thing."

And who are you to deny your boss of anything?

[moongoopy]

no way out

cont: reader has lost about everything so why not lose themselves too?

c/w: reader has anxiety and depression, dubcon, reader getting kidnapped, yandere characters, reader is an artist, death (not reader or the duo), dark content, family problems, blood, reader constantly relapses from self harm, manipulation, harassment (not from duo)

a/n: damn thats crazy. funny how i end it almost the same like my other scenario lolololol, reqs open!

c: geto x reader x gojo

it was the last year of college and it was like you slaved away at your school work that it was numbing to even do your hobbies.

the light in you was dying that your heart should've stopped years ago.

no parties can save you.

you threw away the invitation for the college party, everything was blur to you. too much responsibility on your shoulders and no shoulder to cry on, your roommate no less too busy with his own life to go fuck himself over some girl he broke up with and you slip away everytime you were close to talking to him. he wouldn't listen anyways, head too busy in the clouds as he loses himself again.

the miscalls from your family didn't bother you anymore, it was aggravating to text them back everytime they remembered you so you pretend such a nuisance doesn't exist until it's too late.

"atleast pretend to care"

you told yourself in the mirror, eye twitching from your toothbrush that fall at your feet when your hand collided with the sink. you were worse for wear, eyebags getting darker as you thumbed through social media and letting a few minutes pass before picking up the brush.

instead of calling back, you left a long line of texts with another brand new line of excuses to shut them up with a bunch of emojis for some normalcy. you cleaned up the brush before applying another line of toothpaste onto it and slumped, remembering how money was also running low. thankfully, you didn't share money with your roommate or anything but inflation was upon us.

no way you wanted to ask from your family. they fared well but it was like a hit list on how much you'd ask them and that when you get back home, they'll use it against you and scream in your face while you're strung up limbly like a doll by not responding at all. a response is asking for a fight, no response is to defuse their thoughts by letting them pile ontop of you until they move onto another thing to complain about.

you nearly choke at the taste of blood and pulled away from your toothbrush, red coated your tongue and the gums of your teeth before they quickly get washed off including your grimy face.

another shower may do you good before you worry more about other things. should it be saving up more money or that you haven't come to work for two days now?

oh, this is killing you, why couldn't you just turn the cutter towards your neck? you'd sob so loudly when the blood on your thighs washes over and the cuts burn and twist your skin in and out that you desperately grabbed onto the shower walls. staring down at your scars that barely heal, you made sure to pick pants that wouldn't bother your battered skin. your mind lingers again, the pressure of the water against your head calmer than the caress of your mother's hand combing through your hair.

how did it went downhill in your life?

the folks here were seperated into systems of the typical tropes of college but you weren't treated that badly. there were stares and badmouthing but it never harmed you. so college wasn't the problem.

or maybe it was the relative that passed where you bawled so hard over? yet, you'd never really known them, having correlations towards your passion and attitude only. seemingly called a reflection of them by your other family members but the memory of said late relative lingers in your head sometimes like the wax that's left after the flames took it out but it can only be reshaped if you want to.

but you never pried into the past of that relative so it couldn't be.

you lost yourself way before the impending family problems and countless homeworks you had that the addicting press off the cutter felt more like home than home ever was.

no, dont go back there, it wont help.

drying yourself off, you decided you should atleast take the night shift. clothes tossed on, you couldn't slump around this time. you had something due in a week so maybe work was better to focus on at the moment. passing your roommate's room, you nearly stumbled out the door. night was fast aporoaching this time, it made you ill. the sun or the moon was something you could tell apart from the slow days that passed, without it was living like you're dying.

you took the shortcut, a creepy alleyway but if you were quick; you didn't have to deal with any drunkards and steadily walked. you clutched your earphones in your hand as you tried to listem for any noise that can ruin the night and jumped back to somebody that reached out for you.

"hey there..!"

the man drawled, oh god.

he was drunk or rather high with how hard he was clutching something in his hands but nonetheless it creeped you out, you walked hurriedly away from him.

it was amazing on how stupidly quick he was. his eyes were rolling to the back of his head and drool smearing his lips as he pursues you. your sling bag slipped from your arm which was held tight incase you needed to hit him.

the road down was getting slippery just a bit near to the cornerstore where you worked at, you could dissappear through the backdoor incase he gave chase. or was that a bad choice? he'd know where you work at if he remembered a part of you. thats why you didnt want to yell back incase he recognizes it if he scuttles into your work place and do god knows what there. not a lot of people were around at the hours you work at too.

tears spilled from your eyes, you always were the fearful type. thats why you havent died, just the thought of dying was perfect for you but never the action. you could die in this situation, what if he had a knife. you didnt want that. such an unflattering way to die by some weirdo whose name will be forgotteen after a few days of town talk.

you wanted to die but not this, no!

you swerved the corner and you heard the man gasp.. or choke?

you turned back immediately and another man was holding him by the throat, slamming him back on the graffitied wall with a dangerous glare towards the creep.

"get the fuck out of here!" was enough for the man to whimper and cry, running away back to the alleyway and his footsteps faded away slowly but if you just listen a little closer, he was really running for his life in his drunken stupor.

the stranger's fist was a bit bloody, you didnt know where he had hit himself, hell was that even his blood?

"shit, thank you.."

you exhaled sharply, you had held your breath so long eversince you had turned around. your heart beating so fast to what you thought was gonna happen if the creep caught up with you. this white haired stranger smiled widely, a bit too wide for almost beating up a man and walked towards you.

"you okay? theres been a lot more creeps lately. that must've shaken you up, do you need..?"

he opens his arms up to which you shifted akwardly, hand on your arm. should you? he saved your life and you haven't hugged anybody for a while. hell, you needed something to stop your panic and nearly fell right into his arms. he chuckled, rubbing your back in comfort as he fumbles with something in his bag in the other hand.

"where were you headed? i'll take you there. who know what other weirdos are out here."

you nodded slowly, feeling more at ease when both of his arms wrap around you. you wanted to stay in his chest for a while, scent so nice to inhale but you pulled away swiftly. wow, nearly caught yourself being the creep, this was revolting. you haven't felt affection in the longest time that some stranger's arms were what stabilize you, it was almost embarassing. you might as well ask him to bed you with how you nearly nuzzled into him.

you turned around and he slipped his fingers between yours which was a bit peculiar.

he laughed boyishly, putting his hands up defensively.

"sorry, its just instict. im worried about you!"

looking at him again, he was very pretty. such nice lashes fluttering at you as he utters his words and you shook your head almost mechanically. you dont get a lot of nice strangers like this often, it nearly made you feel too relaxed. it was fine, he probably goes through this with other people that walk alone at night and get disturbed by whatever.

"i'm kinda late now to my work.. but its fine, can you back me up?" he did a thumbs up before walking with you, finally turning the corner and seeing the signboard of the convenient shop lit up. you looked up at him, wanting to thank him again before one of his arms slip behind your waist and your vision becomes blurry.

a car drove past, stopping beside the two.

your limbs felt heavy and you started seeing black and he held you close.

"don't worry, i'll do more than back you up."

------------

this was warm. it felt too warm like a mother's womb. or was that a strange way to describe this feeling? maybe it was more thicker than the blankets you had back at your home or maybe it wasn't your blankets at all?

you woke up in a sweat, head aching with great pain as you let your eyes adjust to the dark.

what was going on?

why was the stranger that helped you was here? legs held to his chest as he watches a movie while another stranger combs through your hair and he was so close, you'd nearly scream. chains rattle and your feet feels so cold. you were so disoriented that whatever noise you managed out of you made the stranger from earlier made him whip his head back.

"it's okay, y/n. we'll explain."

he moved so quick that he was right next to you, gripping your chin so suddenly which made you back up. he held onto you by your clothes and it made the fabric stretch, these weren't your clothes either. just what the fuck was going on?! you screeched, tearing away from him and it made the other stranger hold onto the other's wrist.

"satoru, don't act like a hooligan. you're scaring them"

the one named 'satoru' backed off, chuckling and putting his hands up defensively like how he did before except the look in his eyes were so much more carnal than ever before.

"cmon, its natural to get excited to have your plan work out. on such a random night and way more early than your intended timing, suguru?"

it was like a challenge for 'suguru' to bite back but he couldn't care less and looked back at you. it was eerie. his eyes a swirl of purple and such an illusion had you staring back into them which gave him a chance to touch you even more where he adjusted your clothes and patting them back to how it originally look.

"how'd you feel, darling? i'll explain, we three go to same college, remember us?"

you only had to a bunch of people remembered in your head that anymore than that, you dont bother to remember but their names were farmiliar. people do talk about them all the time so would you shake your head or nod? nonetheless, satoru butts in and thumbs your lips.

"so? speak up, your voice's too pretty to just nod as a response~"

you pulled away, a rush of tears rolling down your face at the realisation of how messed up this situation was. two men in this cold room. you were kidnapped. you didn't know whether to scream or bite back when they started cooing and wiping at your tears. it felt so insulting when they talked like you weren't there, you wanted to quale with anger but your eyes snap back to the shackles on your feet. they notice that you knew, suguru shoves his finger onto satoru's lips before he said something else that could trigger you.

"well, sweetheart. i know all of this can be scary but none of this is to hurt you-"

"how the hell, what the hell do you mean by that? you kidnap me to just look at me, is that what you're telling me!?"

that came out in one breath that you paused, your sobbing stop a bit. this was bad. oh no, you weren't rational. well, you were never rational but in this situation with two strangers from college, they could easily chuck you in a body bag and call it a day. your sniffling gets louder when suguru pressed his thumb into your cheek and turned your head towards him.

his expression was almost indescribable. was he angry? was he amused? was he planning things? this was making you dizzy. they might talk about killing your right here right now too as they had no shame to cover up their plans of kidnapping you. but a small huff was let out from his lips as he held your face so tenderly.

"i know, this situation cam be scary but we've seen you around college. your artwork is just astounding and we wanted to go look for you, such an artist should hear our praise from us and yet you were nowhere to be found." satoru's brows quirked up when your eyes started gleaming a bit but blinking fast to try to hide some care into his words.

"when we found out how you've been so down in your mental issues, it saddens us. your teachers told us how you looked deeply affected by them. that you've been so lonely.." your chest starts heaving when he got so close to your face and your feet kicked the floor to slip away from him only for satoru to hold you from behind.

"we decided to keep you here as our little darling."

you blinked up, eyes twitching.

so they only saw you as entertainment that you were about to push them away from you and spit at them until satoru held your hand and kissed it, taking in your scent.

"sure, its the most foul thing to ever be called by us but we promise you're gonna enjoy it here!"

his arm slips from behind your neck and pulled you close to your chest, snickering when you tried to get away from him. his lips inch close to your ear and he whispers.

"we want to make you feel much better, away from everything you're experiencing and we want to talk about your passion too. wouldn't you like that? we'll provide it all for you. just say the word~"

your eyes nearly roll to the back of your head from the tears you squeezed out painfully. this had to be a joke. what was even going on anymore? your life had to be an absolute joke, you should've joined that one relative in death too.

but a life with them where your problems are almost nonexistent was just peaceful, did you died to get into this position. your crying had calmed down again. you looked up at them in worry, were they really telling the truth? a kiss was pressed softly on the forehead by suguru and his smile reached his eyes with such tenderness.

"you need time to process this, you can go back to sleep and think about it when you wake up.."

"orrrr enjoy your favourite!"

satoru popped open a bag from the restaurant you liked to go to but haven't in a while and the smell was just strong enough to taste it. your eyes linger to a pillow suguru held out for you and you'd nearly keel over. it was your pillow from your dorm and it made your head swirl in confusion.

just who are these two? why do they know so much when they heard you through passing? there was so much questions that they shut down with a kiss and slot their bodies right next to you.

but one thing was certain, you're not getting out of this soon.

[mourn-and-watch]

no but essek's abnormal behaviours in the last arc and especially in episode 140 are my roman empire. which is ironic because aeor is something of a roman empire itself. but in all seriousness, it was the episode that made me realise i love essek and his development so much and it kinda summarised it even before caleb's epilogue.

and i mean the "it's not fair" scene specifically. it's like, an epitome of his whole character progression from a person who put An Objectively Important Goal above all else without hesitation to someone who can't help but care for people around even more than his goal, no matter how big and relevant it is.

the mighty nein - and he alongside them - pretty much saved the world and freed an ancient city from thousand-year-long suffering. they defeated nine extremely powerful menacing entities who managed to stay out of everyone's sight for years and were so close to achieving their goal and dooming exandria in the process. they did the impossible and became heroes and somehow, they survived, even though they had bidden farewells a couple of hours ago because they had already understood what they had been facing. and nevertheless. they made it.

and none of them was celebrating.

mighty nein are basically essek's only friends. he knew them to be very unusual people, to put it lightly, loud and stubborn and completely inescapable once they consider you to be one of their own. and they showed him so much kindness and put so much faith in him, they were here playing the most atrocious music ever and digging clay in his backyard for a spell they invented just to help one of theirs and asking him if he could bring them pastries the day after they found out he was lying to them and had started a war. they were chaotic and weird and sometimes unbearable but most importantly they were carrying so much hope with them all this time - a hope they could end the war, a hope they could stop the angel of irons cult, a hope they could get better, a hope he could get better, and now, finally, that they could save their lost friend.

and that hope shattered, just like that, the moments after they'd already made the impossible. they saved so many souls - and then could not get back just that one.

for essek "my intentions were never good they were important" thelyss it just. shouldn't have mattered. they won. it could have been worse. people die and when they die they rarely come back. they should've been happy everyone else barely made it alive.

but for some reason, mighty nein being so defeated after they saved the world exposed him to that overwhelming feeling of injustice and unfairness. and i mean, there were many things essek considered to be unfair, but when i watched his first appearance and his interactions with mighty nein later on til their reunion in aeor arc, i wouldn't dare to guess that one of the things on that list would be something that personal. and personal not even to him.

the thing is, essek didn't even know who that guy was. why mighty nein cared about him so much. he had an idea, i guess, that he was their friend once, or someone in that body was. it was also a person who wanted to unleash a terrifying horrific aberration onto the material plane. it was a person very dedicated to killing essek and his friends - and they still didn't take any pleasure in fighting him. essek didn't feel strongly about lucien or molly, because he never knew them.

i don't think he mourned his death and failed resurrection. he mourned mighty nein's hope, the one they put in him when they had no reason to, the one they offered yasha in the cathedral and the one they kept after the spell for veth failed and the one they carried til the very end because they wanted it to reach molly. they had saved people with this hope. they had saved nations. they had saved the world. but they ended up feeling like it hadn't even been worth anything.

how desperate would it feel, witnessing people who for some reason always saw good in you when they absolutely shouldn't, who made literal miracles out of nothing, who ended wars and fought gods and tricked the hags and freed cities from horrors beyond anyone's comprehension purely because they thought it was the right thing to do and also loved their friends this much, silently crying over a dead body they couldn't bring back to life? how desperate would it feel to realise that with all your knowledge about time you dedicated your life to and threw away any principles for, you can't undo this? no one can. some things are left to fate alone and this time it wasn't kind to them. no matter how much good they did, they still got slapped in the face.

and it was, i think, such a genuine moment of empathy. like, essek is the character who prefers to put up a facade and act distant and self-composed but this time he just. walked away unable to watch this. the could only say to fjord that it wasn't fair. even when he was caught off guard in nicodranas he was able to explain himself and his motives to an extent even though he was a nervous wreck whose extra important plan went to hell the second the only people he cared about appeared. this time he had nothing to elaborate on. it just wasn't fair. it wasn't fair his friends didn't get what they wanted the most. it wasn't fair he couldn't do anything to make it right.

it is such a sad and beautiful and even cathartic scene because it is about person who started a war that destroyed so many lives - and then met this ragtag group of weirdos who saw a lonely stand-offish guy and said "hey, let's be friends!" and didn't even wait for him to answer. he saw them being serious and calculated and he saw them being ridiculous and extremely stupid, he saw their mistrust to outsiders and their loyalty to each other, he made spells with them and paid a visit to their hot tub, he ate their stale pastries and drank their hot chocolate mixed with whiskey, he was welcomed amongst them and in their wonderful home, both in xhorhas before they even found out what he had done and in the tower when they already knew - and then, he saw them mourning their loss, defeated and helpless, and he, a person who believed there were things more important than whole nations, let alone just one life, couldn't help but share the pain they felt. a pure display of compassion from someone who detached himself from it, who didn't believe he could grow into a better person capable of it again, but became one nonetheless without even realising it

[coimbrabertone]

NASCAR Numerology: How NASCAR's Current Teams Got Their Number: Part Two.

Hello all, this is part two of my little mini-series on how and why NASCAR teams have their current numbers. Last time we did Trackhouse, Team Penske, and I tacked on Wood Brothers because it was topic. Today we're continuing down the list - we covered the teams with the #1 and the #2 yesterday, now to talk about the team with the #3.

Quite possibly the most iconic number in all of NASCAR, when someone says the #3, NASCAR fans always think of Dale Earnhardt in the black intimidator GM Goodwrench Chevrolet...but that's not quite how the #3 car started.

In fact, it started in the early 70s with team owner Richard Childress himself, who would go part time with numbers like #13, #96, and #98 in those early starts. In 1976, however, Richard Childress would go full time in his self-owned car, and the number he chose was the #3.

Why? Well, Richard said it was in tribute to Junior Johnson, who ran the #3 49 times from 1961 and 1964, and won 9 races with it. Junior Johnson owned the #11 and the #27 for his own team, so the #3 was the most notable Junior Johnson available.

Thus, in 1976, the #3 car began.

In mid-1981, Richard Childress was considering retirement. At the same time, Dale Earnhardt in the #2 Osterlund Racing car saw his team get sold to JD Stacy, and thus the partnership that won the 1980 championship collapsed just half a season later.

Dale Earnhardt took over RCR's #3 and brought sponsor Wrangler with him. The #3 wasn't quite to Dale's level though, so for 1982 and 1983, Dale switched to Ford and ran the #15 Bud Moore Engineering car. Ricky Rudd took over the #3 for two years and managed to get RCR's first and second wins, at Riverside and Martinsville.

This was the same number of wins that Dale got at Bud Moore Engineering in the #15, thus, Dale felt it was time to return to RCR and the #3.

Thus, the most famous partnership in NASCAR began, with Wrangler sponsorship through 1987, and then in 1988, the car gained the famous black, silver, white, and red GM Goodwrench sponsorship. It gained a thousand names: the intimidator, the man in black, Darth Vader...this was the most famous car in stock car racing.

And in the 2001 Daytona 500, as the DEI #15 and #8 - numbered after Dale's Bud Moore car and Dale's Busch series car - finished one-two in NASCAR's biggest race, Dale Earnhardt was killed in a turn four wall impact.

A legend had died.

Kevin Harvick was drafted in to replace him, but the paint scheme was changed, and RCR changed the number immediately. The #13 and the #23 were available, but RCR did not want to burden Harvick with a number associated with the #3 at all, thus, RCR chose the #29 instead.

This meant that, for a time, RCR had the #29, the #30, and the #31, a set of consecutive numbers.

In 2014, however, Kevin Harvick moved to SHR (more on that in a moment) and Austin Dillon took over his car...and it was renumbered the #3 again.

Why? Well, Richard Childress once famously announced that the #3 would only come back in the hands of an Earnhardt or a Childress, and Austin Dillon was Richard's grandson via his daughter. Needless to say, this has been controversial.

Lots of people feel that Austin Dillon isn't there on merit, instead he's there by nepotism. They feel that after Dale's death, the #3 should've been retired outright.

Well, they didn't do that and the #3 is back.

And RCR's second car...well, it's not the #30 or the #31 anymore, nor the #07, the #27, the #33, or any other number that RCR has run in the past.

Rather it is the #8...that number Dale Earnhardt ran in Busch and later Dale Earnhardt Jr. made famous at DEI. Why the #8? Well, it was used by Ralph Earnhardt (Dale's father) in his racing days. So how the heck did RCR end up with such an intimately Earnhardt number?

Well, it should be noted that Richard Childress and Dale Earnhardt were close friends.

Furthermore, when RCR brought back the #8, it was initially for Daniel Hemric, who is from Kannapolis, North Carolina - the same town that the Earnhardts are from.

That doesn't quite explain why they kept the #8 for Tyler Reddick and now Kyle Busch, but that's why they brought it back.

Like I said, Earnhardt nostalgia.

Now, onto SHR, who run the #4, the #10, the #14, and the #41.

When Tony Stewart bought into Haas CNC Racing (who had been running numbers like #60, #0, #66, and #70) they completely overhauled the numbering scheme.

Tony Stewart - who had originally come from an Indy Racing League background - wanted the #14 for himself, as that had been the number of his racing hero, AJ Foyt. Stewart succeeded, and he'd pass that number down to Clint Bowyer and now Chase Briscoe, the current driver.

Meanwhile, he wanted the #4 for his teammate, as that had been Tony's karting number. Unfortunately, Morgan-McClure Motorsports still owned the #4 at this time, so Tony's 2009 teammate instead had to settle for running the #39 at the time. It should be noted that Newman had run the #39 Dodge in the second-tier Busch series before at this point, so he did have an association with this number.

Once Ryan Newman left the team at the end of 2013, the team brought in Kevin Harvick and his Anheuser-Busch sponsorship (initially with Budweiser, later with Busch Light) for 2014, and finally managed to change the number to #4. They were rewarded with an immediate championship in 2014.

The #10 car came next, with SHR bringing Danica Patrick over from the world of Indycar. They initially wanted Danica's Indycar number with the #7, but that was unavailable, so they went with the #10 instead, with was one of Danica's karting numbers.

When Danica retired at the end of the 2017 season, they kept the #10 for Aric Almirola (and now Noah Gragson for 2024).

Presumably they felt that since 4+10=14, the number suited their numbering scheme.

Also suiting the numbering scheme is the #41, which is #41 backwards. Despite being Tony's number inverted, the #41 has traditionally been seen as Gene Haas' car in the Stewart-Haas pairing, with Gene bringing in Tony's rival Kurt Busch in for the 2014 season (announcing this while Tony was out injured, no less).

Daniel Suárez would drive the car in 2019, and then Cole Custer (the son of Joe Custer, who manages Gene Haas' racing operations) would drive it from 2020 to 2022.

Tony then managed to get Ryan Preece - a more grassroots kind of driver, the kind of driver Tony likes - in the car for 2023 and 2024, with results staying about the same.

Gene will get the last laugh though, because even as Stewart-Haas Racing is closing its doors, Gene Haas will keep the #41 as Haas Factory Racing, and Cole Custer will return to the NASCAR Cup Series for 2025.

Guess the #41 really was Gene's car all along, huh?

Anyway, that's six cars down today. The next car on the list would be the #5...Hendrick is a four-car team with a ton of history, and they've played a lot of number roulette over the years, so we'll handle them tomorrow. Hendrick, Roush, and maybe Spire to knock out the #5, the #6, and the #7. We did #8 here, #9 is with Hendrick, and the #10 we also covered here, so...it looks like we'll pick up with Joe Gibbs Racing and the #11 on Thursday.

Sounds good?

[ominous-feychild]

Guys I literally JUST realized a thing about my autism/masking/alexithymia. I noticed there was an alexithymia tag here on tumblr and when I investigated, there was this one post listing these symptoms:

and I just--

I've had these exact, MAJOR struggles through my whole life for one.

But for two, and what's really interesting in my opinion...

Yesterday, I was having a video call with my mom. I've been off of some medications that I'm supposed to be taking because of financial issues, so my mental is NOT in a great place and I've had NO spoons for the past month. But while on call with her, she seriously, unironically, asked me if I thought I really needed the meds. Because, apparently, I "wasn't acting like I needed them" or something like that. And I'm sure I don't need to explain why that pissed me tf off.

But, like... at the time, the closest thing I could come up with for an answer was that "I have no spoons and no energy to do anything"; "I lived 17 years without meds, I kind-of know how to fake it"; and "I haven't had much socializing lately, so I have enough Social Energy™ to fake being okay right now."

Now that I'm not being put on the spot and after reading that post, I'm slowly figuring out that I've always done this. I mean, I've obviously always struggled to describe my own emotions and need to analyze my physical reactions to figure them out, but like. I'm just now starting to realize that I've really struggled to describe exactly how I'm "feeling bad" or, in fact, that I am feeling bad at all.

I mean, again, considering the alexithymia, that last part is a given. But it's kinda putting into perspective exactly how I've always had to understand "I don't have the energy to do anything" or "it's incredibly difficult to do anything" or "something deep inside of me feels Wrong™ and I can neither address nor identify it". I'd just passively have those "feelings" and struggle to continue life despite them.

It brings back thoughts of my struggles with masking, and how I was never diagnosed with autism as a child. Looking back, it should've been incredibly obvious. I had SO many of the tell-tale signs. But I guess it wasn't today, and there wasn't anywhere near as much awareness of what those signs were... but really. Textbook.

I'm sure my masking made it more difficult to recognize the signs as I got older. Hell, I even read over different "autism diagnosis checklist"s countless times, thinking to myself "oh wow it's a lot like me!... exceeeeeptttt--" and moved on from there.

I keep digressing. My point is, since discovering my autism and how it was hidden by masking, I've always wondered where my mask ends and where I begin. Most of the time, I feel like I feel nothing, even when I'm not depressed. I've been told I don't show my emotions, like when I'm happy (aka my chest is light and I feel free). That, or people can't tell when I like/dislike them (though that's partially a trauma thing). Other times, I've been told I'm smiling when I didn't even realize I was happy, much less that I was actually smiling. Some people have told me I'm incredibly easy to read, that my emotions show very clearly. But how can they when I feel like I feel nothing?

Which leads me back to what I said earlier, my conversation with my mother. How she asked if I actually need my meds because "I don't seem like I do". I guess I kind-of understand now, why she might've seen it that way. Do most people always show signs of how they actually feel? And how does the fact that I "don't feel" effect what I show?

I've wondered about that for a while. How much of how I act is because I was trained to, one way or another? How much of the emotion I show is because I learned to? Do I even show the emotions I feel? I really can't know because the people I know irl, who would better be able to tell me how I act, aren't understanding of any of these things. My older sister is lowkey ableist and thinks she sees the grand plan of the universe, my mother is too "pull yourself up by the bootstraps!!!" to accept Spoon Theory or mental health struggles, and just about everyone else in my life comes and goes as quickly as the wind.

Anyhow, this was a long rant that I've kinda had half-formed thoughts about for a while. Thanks for reading, hopefully this can help or entertain whoever stumbles upon this?

[st4rbe0m]

SUMMARY ▸ 20 years ago, a gruesome murder shook the town hard. A type of murder that should've never happen, much less in their quaint town. A lovely family killed in cold blood by an unforgiving axe wielding maniac - a mother, a father and a little girl. It's been 20 years down the road, hasn't it? Then why are these 10 teenagers stuck in a loop of the same day, being haunted by a little girl who died 20 years ago?

PAIRING ▸ Park Jongseong (Jay) x fem!reader ; additional pairings between characters as well , multi chapter story

TAG LIST ▸ open!! send an ask to be added

WC ▸ 3.1K

A/N ▸ new chapter anyone who reblogs one million hugs and kisses btw. looped moonstruck while writing this chapter. ALSO beach episode coming next chapter 😈

WOULD YOU LIKE TO CONTINUE THE BODY SEARCH ?

▊ yes -> CHAPTER 5

▊ no -> CHAPTER 3

BODY SEARCH MASTERLIST

“Yang Jungwon, you’re so dead.”

This was the last sentence that Nishimura Riki uttered before he was brutally mauled to death by a stray sports cart being pushed by the bloodied hands of a deadly little girl. 

10 hours before this, under the protective shade of the umbrella of their cafe table, were sat Uchinaga Aeri, Ning Yizhuo, and Y/N Y/L/N, each digging into their chosen sorbets and ice creams. It was Giselle’s idea, who insisted that building a friendship within these dire times was not a bad idea. Friendship was a strange concept to Y/N - simply because she had never been able to experience it fully. As fleeting it was in her childhood, it became non-existent in her teenage years. Honestly, if she thought about it - the last, true friend she had might be Jay himself, and that was when they were about 11 years old. Before middle school pulled them apart like magnet poles. And that was what she was in the midst of explaining to NingNing and Giselle, who felt pangs of guilt growing stronger in their heart as they heard her story. 

“It’s not that I even did anything bad, you know. I suppose that’s what made the whole situation disheartening for me. It was just one day that I had missed the school swim meet, and then a week after that because of a very nasty cold I had caught. But I guess my best friend at that time, Lee Naeun, decided it was the end of the road for us. Because when I returned to school after my break, everyone avoided me like the plague. Turns out, Naeun had told everyone the reason why I had skipped the meet because I loathed everyone, and that I’d told her everyday that I wished the very worst on our classmates. It didn’t help that I was already a very shy person. And she took advantage of that, I suppose. She knew I’d never be able to defend myself.”

Looking up from where she’d kept her head bent down, staring woefully into her sorbet while recounting her sob story, she met the eyes of both NingNing and Giselle, expecting the look of pity she’d been expecting. The sad, sad story of the school freak. Instead, she was surprised to see both wearing the same look of sadness, with Giselle even having a little mist in her eyes. Shocked by this slightly unexpected reaction, she opened her mouth again but this time the both spoke, clamoring with apologies. “I had no idea, Y/N. I’m so, so sorry. Even if there was no way of me knowing, I shouldn’t have believed the baseless gossip of the school as class president”, NingNing apologized shamefully. Giselle too, was heavy with regrets, and she clasped Y/N’s hand tightly as she spoke her own sorry’s. The heartfelt sorrows, as well as the loving and gentle touches and looks the two gave Y/N made her feel an ache in her - like something missing was suddenly returning to her. Something that she’d craved more than anything coming back to fix the pieces of her broken heart, the glue she needed. And it made her feel absolutely elated, to the point where small giggles began leaving her mouth, growing into full fledged laughter, which broke the trance NingNing and Giselle were under. Seeing her reaction, the pair began laughing themselves, and for a moment they could pretend to be normal teenagers again. Teenagers who weren’t playing death’s game every night. 

“Jungwon, let me be frank dude. What’s your deal?”asked Riki, nonchalant about how loaded his question was as he stuffed fries into his mouth, ignorant of Sunoo’s widening eyes or the stern glare Jay gave him. After seeing how his girlfriend had abandoned him at lunch to have a girls hangout, Heesung decided to ask the boys to join him for one of his own - for the power of friendship and stuff. Totally not because he missed his girlfriend. 

Jungwon, however, didn’t seem perturbed by the question at all, sporting a smile instead. “Well, you know how people peak in highschool, and some people become rich and own mansions and cars? Let’s just say, the guys who’ve made such a mark of my reputation won’t be laughing when they’re washing my sports cars.” 

His confident, albeit cocky and slightly goofy response had Jake choking on his milkshake and Sunghoon giving an amused smile as he continued to munch on his chicken tenders. “Leave Jungwon, let’s talk about something more important. Like how these three genuinely ordered off the kids’ menu. When Jay mentioned it, I thought he was kidding.”, said Sunoo with a sip of his own root beer, gesturing on the Dumb, Dumber and Dumbest - Jay, Sunghoon and Jake, the same order they were sitting in at the diner booth. “What’s wrong with the kids menu? Better food at half price, it’s a fucking steal”, said a pouty Jake as he made a deal out of eating his cheese fries. “Honestly, I didn’t think Sunghoon would be as bad as you guys. I always thought he was a serious guy.” This had the other two speaking up together, both ready with several examples of Sunghoon’s rather stupid moments. “Hey, hey, he didn’t ask for a testimony!”. “So are you back to school for good, then?”. Another loaded question, that had Sunghoon furrowing his brows. “Yeah, I am”, he said after a moment’s pause, looking directly into the eyes of his two best friends, who returned grateful smiles of their own. “Let’s leave the sentimental stuff and talk about what’s more important, like Lee Heesung, how did you, a loser, manage to pull Giselle?”, asked a teasing Jake, and thus began another round of bickering.

“I’m serious, I don’t like Jay!”, laughed NingNing, when she saw the unconvinced faces of Y/N and Giselle. “B-but you’ve attended all the practices! And you’ve been close to him for a while now, haven’t you?” spluttered a perturbed Giselle, who fancied herself quite the cupid. “Well, I have been attending practices and gotten close to him. Just not for the reason you all thought it to be.” “Then what? Is it someone else on the team you’re interested in?”, asked Y/N. When NingNing gave no reply, Y/N and Giselle broke into huge grins as they nudged the other girl who was smarting reddened ears and a docile smile. “You guys have to promise me this stays a girls’ secret, alright? No telling Heesung, okay Gi?”, said NingNing in a rather hushed tone. Moving their heads closer to hear NingNing better, and Giselle promising to keep the secret safe even from her boyfriend, NingNing hesitated for a bit before the name tumbled out of her mouth. “Park Sunghoon. I was attending their practice matches to see if he’d show. And I got close to Jay to ask him about how Sunghoon was doing. It’s not everyday your crush starts barely attending school and starts ignoring everyone. But I’m glad he’s back now.” said a shy NingNing, immediately covering her face to hide her furiously blushing cheeks. “Ayye, I’m sure you’re glad. Now if that little weirdo comes after you, you always have your Ice Prince to save you, don’t you?”, Giselle’s joke making Y/N laugh out loud and leaving NingNing in a mess, smacking Giselle’s arm in embarrassment. 

“Jay, come off it. Everyone sees the heart eyes you manage to make even in a life or death situation at Y/N.”, Heesung countered to the flustered Jay, who’s strawberry red ears weren’t helping his case at all. “Wait, dude what about Ning?” asked Jake, the name making Sunghoon pop his head out and ask, “Jay has a thing with NingNing?”. Sighing, with a self-important smirk, Heesung leaned back into the peachy orange seats of the diner to just say, “Oh you kids, just starting out with love, so unaware of your own feelings”, which just resulted with Jay chucking the crumpled plastic wrapper of a straw at his face. 

“Wait! This is brilliant Y/N!”, said an excited Giselle who turned to Y/N with hopeful eyes. “What?” “Well, now you and Jay can get together freely without any complications!”. This just made Y/N bite down a bit harshly into her sorbet accidentally, and rubbing her upper lip, she feigned ignorance as she asked, “What do you mean?”. “Oh come on, there’s no way you both don’t have something going on! He protects you and follows you around like a guard dog. It’s always ‘Y/N did this’ ‘Y/N be careful’ and ‘Y/N stay in my arms and be safe with me forever’”, which made Y/N smack Giselle over the table this time, looking to NingNing for any support, who just looked at the exchange with amusement and knowing. “Ning, don’t tell me you think this too?”, asked Y/N. “Well..” “Oh, you guys!” 

“Yeah, we knew each other as kids. Best friends in kindergarten, if that’s anything?”, said Jay who had been pressured by the rest of the group to spill his history. “Then I drifted apart from her, kinda. With basketball and whatnot”, Jay shamefully mumbled the last part, regretfully leaving behind his childhood friend obviously. “Well, she grew into her lonesome after that, didn’t she?”, asked Sunoo. “Yeah, but she shouldn’t have had to. I should’ve done something”, huffed out Jay, as he slumped in his seat. “Despite”, added Jungwon, “she’s been kind. She’s been kind to me when I’ve been picked on. I’ve seen her help the aging old librarian during lunch and offer him some of her leftover lunch.” Hearing about Y/N made Jay break into an unknowing grin, and the rest of the boys noticed this almost immediately, smiling knowingly within themselves. 

“Back when we were 11, our families went to an amusement water park. He sort of saved my life that day.” After cracking open to the girls about her crush on Jay, Y/N was in the midst of explaining when she realized she liked him. “Wait, so you’ve liked him that long?”, asked NingNing, surprised by the length of this ongoing infatuation. “Well, yes. There was this slide and there was a negligent lifeguard there. Honestly, I don’t remember much of it. I remember the guard almost hurt me in the water, and Jay had managed to find me and bring me away from the guard to my family.” “That’s really strange, why would a lifeguard hurt you?”, asked Giselle. “Yeah, honestly I don’t remember much. I don’t even know if he was a worker there or just some dangerous man who had slipped in unnoticed into the waterpark.” “Wait, so that means you guys are childhood sweethearts! Ah, how exciting!”, squealed a delighted NingNing, and as the topic of crushed changed courses to school to the future to just simple discussions, the next 3 hours were spent in merriment. Not only the girls, but even the boys could feel the time fly away like feathers with the way they all bonded. 

That was 10 hours ago. 10 hours after the smiling and teasing and jokes, standing in the empty broadcast room of their deserted school was Yang Jungwon, shuffling between CDs the music department had kept, all of them being either hymns or instructions. Finally, he managed to pull out a CD, the cover art faded away into almost nothing, but based on what it was, it seemed to be some sort of rock and roll music. Plugging it into the CD player and cranking up the speakers with no time to spare, Jungwon spoke into the mic, feedback whining as he yelled into the mic, “Are we freaking ready, gang? Let’s rock it”. He was sure his friends were laughing or groaning at his corniness, but he wouldn’t have had it any other way. Because it was the first time he was using the word friends in a sentence referring to himself. 

Riki and Y/N are in the sports room, and they’d made a sort of obstacle course out of the sports carts and the equipment. On the other side of the room were Sunghoon and NingNing, holding tennis racquets, ready to play offense. The group’s incentive for this night was the ground floor, and stationed in all the important rooms were members of their little crew - ready with every nuisance they could come up with to distract the little girl. The cherry on top, was what Giselle had provided them just before they began. 

“I remember the AV club’s president, my cousin, had mentioned something about walkie-talkies being somewhere in the school. So I, the great Uchinaga Giselle, have taken the liberty to find them and provide them to you all”, she said, as she dumped some possibly decade old walkie-talkies on the table, hands reaching out to grab one each, thanking Giselle or praising her for her quick thinking. 

Jungwon’s music choice was obnoxious, is what Riki thought when he saw the girl appear, her white fangs glinting in the light of the room. And immediately, the team sprung into action. Y/N, Sunghoon and Riki ready to combat the girl while NingNing frantically searched the room for any missing body parts. Though the girl seemed to possess immaculate speed and inhumane strength, the group managed to stall her long enough for NingNing to find a severed leg, and run like the wind away from the room, screaming into the walkie talkie of her discovery. And as the girl rammed the sports cart into Riki’s head last after stringing Y/N’s body, split in half by the ropes, and Sunghoon’s lifeless body laid out unceremoniously on the basketball court, they were glad about one thing - she was going down just as planned. 

“Ground floor, complete” Jay was putting X marks on all the rooms covered. Till now, the gang had uncovered the left forearm and the right foreleg. The rest of the parts were going to be concealed better no doubt. But they had a good feeling about this one. “Jungwon, I’m begging you man. Play better music. Just because we’re killing that insane ghost doesn’t mean you have to kill us with bad music”, groaned Jake. “Oh, I’m sorry, but would you rather listen to Christmas hymns? Because that’s what the school has” “It’s better than the nonsense you’re playing. The singer honestly sounds like a divorced alcoholic countryman.”, said Sunoo. 

The group parted ways, deciding to go their separate ways for a bit, Giselle and Heesung giggling as they went off to the park, and Jungwon, Jake and Riki in a heated discussion about their favorite shows and movies. Moving away from the table was Y/N as well, until a hand around her wrist stopped her. Turning around to see who it was, her pupils widened as she stared right into the chocolate brown of the one and only Jay. “Stick with me tonight, alright? I don’t want to see you strung up like a puppet again.” His tone may have been lighthearted, but the worry in the crease of his brow gave away his seriousness. “Sure Jay, thank you.”, said a beaming Y/N, absolutely over the moon with the way this was going. Sensing the end of her luck with him, she was ready to pull away, when she found that Jay was still clutching her hand, and was striding forward confidently, his hands dipping as his fingers folded themselves around the gaps of your own. Holding her hand in possibly the smoothest way possible, and throwing a charming smile her way that had a million butterflies erupt immediately in her gut, he asked, “Drop you to class?”. And only a fool would give up this offer. Shy smiles and intertwined fingers, the two went up to the class, both opting for the longer route unknowingly. 

“So, Y/N”, said Jay casually. “So, Jay”. The hand holding was still going unaddressed between the two, but it was better that way. Some things were left better off on their own, to linger in the air that seemed charged around both of them. Brushing a strand of her hair that had seemed to fall on to her forehead, looking at his face it was obvious he was struggling to say something. “You can say what you’re planning to say Jay”, said a teasing Y/N. Sombrely, he looked at Y/N, only hoping that the hand he was holding on to that made his arm feel like lead in nervous jitters, would stay when he was done. “I’m sorry.” “For what?”, asked Y/N simply, tilting her head slightly in confusion. “For not being a good friend. For leaving you behind. For not keeping in touch.” It seemed like the boy was not going to run out of reasons to apologize any time soon, and Y/N with a surge of boldness simply placed a finger of her free hand against the plush of his lips which were mid-movement, amused as she peered at his face. “Jay. It’s absolutely alright. My circumstances were not your fault at all, and I could have made an effort to reach out as well.” “But-” “No buts. I don’t blame you. And honestly, this whole game? It’s just made me more over the whole thing before.”. Smiling softly, she added another reassurance, just a little leap of faith. “Jay, you’ll always be the boy who saved me at the amusement park, alright? My knight in shining armor rather.” And with that simple statement, she dropped the finger on his lips and tugged the slightly stunned Jay along, both of them making their way down the hall with burning cheeks and fighting grins.

[mllemaenad]

So – Bethesda broke Fallout 4's script extender. Because of course they did. What better way to celebrate the release of your new TV show than to stall people's ongoing playthroughs? Excellent work. I don't even want an Enclave quest. It's Creation Club nonsense, so it won't actually be a proper quest anyway.

I want to finish my Sim Settlements 2 playthrough. Ugh.

So while I'm waiting for the dust to settle on that, I thought I'd give Fallout 76 another go. I am rebuilding my mod list for Fallout 3, but that's a work in progress. And Fallout 76 is right there.

I created a new character, because I haven't played this thing in ages and I know they've changed a bunch of the mechanics. And oh - ha. I mean, I had thought from the beginning that creating a game without NPCs was a terrible idea, because it's hard to invest in saving an empty world. But the addition of them makes playing the game's original main quest a distinctly bizarre experience.

I don't mean that I'm suddenly pro-empty world. Not at all. In general the presence of factions and personalities and people you can care about it a good thing.

But when they made this game, the writers and quest designers were given "empty world" as a parameter within which they had to work. And they did.

It's sort of an interesting, even bold, choice for a storyline because it does not allow you to feel good about yourself at all. Most Fallout games do. Oh, you can play evil if you want, sure, and there are a handful of side quests that are genuinely no win scenarios. But mostly? You can save the world. And you will probably have a better experience if you try to: there's more to do when you talk to the NPCs and deal with their problems rather than just murdering everyone and taking their stuff.

But Fallout 76 is just judging you.

I keep thinking about its promotional song – that really upbeat cover of Take Me Home, Country Roads, and all the imagery in the old trailer, about rebuilding and looking to the future. But all of that is functionally a lie, and the key lines in that song come towards the end:

I hear her voice in the mornin' hour, she calls me The radio reminds me of my home far away Drivin' down the road, I get a feelin' That I should've been home yesterday, yesterday – Take Me Home, Country Roads

You should have been home yesterday. You should have been home a thousand yesterdays ago. This story is all about the past, and a rebuilding effort you neglected to join. It hits you with the guilt straight away, as the very first place the game takes you is an old outpost of emergency service personnel who just kept on doing their jobs after the bombs fell. It's their notes and recordings that teach you how to survive.

Of course you encounter less pleasant people later: raiders and Enclave, and honestly I have little patience for any iteration of The Brotherhood of Steel. But even there, you can see that the misunderstandings and conflicts and general fuck ups might have been resolved with a competent mediator.

And that is exactly what you are. You're a Fallout protagonist. You don't have the time to spend ten years sitting in a lab, but you excel at travelling from town to town and dealing with whatever obstacle is stopping a faction from moving forward. Fallouts 1-4 and assorted spin offs have taught us all that.

Even in universe, Vault 76 is stated to be full of literal geniuses. It is packed with doctors and scientists and engineers: exactly the people the world needed to deal with a combination of plague and environmental crisis.

If you were there, you could have fixed this.

But you were not there. You were sitting comfortably in a vault, while other, better people tried to save the world.

And they were almost there. They had a vaccine. Even with everything, they had a vaccine. They did the work, they had a plan. As you play through this quest, you stand upon the shoulders of giants at almost every stage, implementing the very last step in a plan that really does work. Had they lived, even a few months longer ... but they didn't, and you did nothing to help them.

It wasn't even necessary to spend 25 years in that vault, as it is abundantly clear that the area around 76 has been habitable this whole time. Challenging, sure: I am in no way suggesting that it was an easy existence. But it was not instant irradiated death.

Every other Fallout protagonist steps out of their vault (or other entry scenario) in time to make things right. Maybe just in time, but nevertheless. They walk into a fractured world and get to work. But not you. You took the easy route.

How proud are you of that Best Dental Hygiene award now?

Given that it is set so close to the Great War, and deals with first generation survivors, it gives one of the best looks at the cynical cruelty of Vault-Tec: when they talk about rebuilding the world, it only means rebuilding for its own benefit and profit. Anyone not part of their plan is more than welcome to die in a hole.

It ties in very nicely with the television series, actually. Lucy laments that she was waiting to rebuild the world, but it all happened without her - and Vault-Tec actively tried to destroy that new world (and at least up to a point, seems to have succeeded). Her people waited over 200 years, but it didn't take that long. Twenty-five were quite enough.

But with the new version ... I mean, it really takes the sting out of it. It looks like everybody had a few rough years there, but it's all turned out fine. There's a burgeoning civilisation here, with homesteads and caravans and trade. I can't go two steps without an NPC asking to borrow a bobby pin, and even the raiders are more territorial than outright destructive (although – is nobody going to go up that completely safe little hill and give poor Miguel a funeral? Come on guys, clean up the damn corpses).

The tragedy of the whole thing, and the weight of your own inaction, is largely gone. You can't reshape the world and still make the same impact with that narrative.

I don't know, I guess I just can't quite get behind the whole multiplayer-ness of the thing. The world can't really change as you complete quests. You can't really rebuild. But likewise, if the world does change, it has to change for everyone at the same time, regardless of where they are in the story.

It could still work, I think, if you could play through that story and then see the caravans come over the hill, and start to rebuild the world.

Because that might feel a bit like redemption.

[anonsally]

Shitty week at work

Boring chronicle below. I just needed to rant.

My week started off badly.

So, in early autumn of 2023, I'd applied for a promotion (which I was required to do), to be effective July 2024. In my job title, the promotion case is extremely similar to a professor applying for a promotion from Associate Professor to Full Professor. In particular, in addition to my CV, list of publications, and self-statement, external letters need to be solicited from objective scientists (at ranks equivalent to full professor) assessing my work. Five letters are required, at least half of which need to be from people on a list provided by the department/my supervisor; the rest can be from a list I provided but cannot include former collaborators or mentors.

I had initially provided 7 names; these were a mix of people I was slightly acquainted with and people I was not acquainted with at all. Unfortunately, only one of them agreed to write the letter (not surprising; several of the others were in leadership roles and probably didn't have time for this). Two declined and four didn't even bother to respond to the emails HR sent soliciting the letters.

So, in November 2023, HR asked me for more names. At this point, having pretty much exhausted the senior scientists I knew who were in a position to assess my work, I started searching the internet for full professors who work in my field. I provided 6 more names, 4 of whom were total strangers I'd never even heard of before I started searching, and one of whom I don't think I've met but he had collaborated with my supervisor. (My supervisor was also asked for more names.)

At some point several months later, I was informed that I had been told the wrong review period, so that my self-statement didn't include everything it should've. Argh. So there had already been a snafu with this process. But they promised that this would not affect my review.

The department made several hires last year, so my promotion case was a lower priority; the letter from the Dean's office in support of my promotion was finally provided about 4 months late. HR then sent the whole file to the central campus academic personnel office (APO), which is known to have a backlog, in August 2024. (The promotion, if it is ever approved, will be retroactive to July 2024.)

On Monday, I was told that APO had discovered that the case was submitted incorrectly: not enough of the external letters were from people on the department list (i.e., too many were from my list). They had received 7 letters (2 more than the required 5), but at least half must be from the department list. I don't know whether this means they got 4 from my list and 3 from the department list (in which case HR should've just dropped one of the ones from my list! If this is what happened, then I am being penalised for having too many recommendation letters, which is absurd.), or if it was even worse than that... But the upshot is, they have now asked my supervisor for more names. Which means that some important professors are going to be asked to write a letter of recommendation for someone they don't know. In December. I venture to predict that it will not be easy to find someone to do this.

Basically, if I ever get this promotion, it's going to be at least a year late. Like... they are soliciting letters over a month after when they would have solicited them for a promotion to be effective in July 2025, and I was supposed to get my promotion in July 2024. I am furious, too, because I did nothing wrong, this was a bureaucratic snafu (that should've been caught about a year ago), and yet there's a substantial amount of money I have earned that I have to wait several more months for.

So that's how my week started.

The week also ended badly. On Friday, the TA for the class I've been teaching asynchronously this semester said that he suspected academic misconduct. After reviewing the evidence, it looks like 3 of our students cheated... poorly... on an optional quiz (!)... and then two of them lied, unconvincingly, about it. So.

I hate everything.

[taviokapudding]

In regards to being asked about the black company, Nijisanji, their allegations to having ties to Israeli money, and #SinkTheYacht

I'm disappointed in

seeing folks punish all Niji EN livers by collectively unsubbing when "sinking the yacht" would be more effective by reaching out to AnyColor Inc shareholders and partners about Nijisanji's admission of management & livers bullying and listing all the public facts surrounding why Selen was fired. The summary of facts are that Nijisanji has bullies in their team, has done nothing to remove said bullies, and they chose a sudden termination to hide the fact they let a liver attempt suicide from said bullies and didn't inform the public about it.

So I understand why people are unsubbing as a whole- why many creators, artists, and third parties have made it public they will no longer make, support, or sponsor Nijisanji.

But priority 1 is not mass unsubbing- that's what Nijisanji wants. They are made up of known bullies and they are now manipulating the public into being bullies. Instead of spreading the word to mass unsub- I encourage everyone stop spending money on official merch, do not collab with any AnyColor Inc management, and not buy stocks connected directly to all AnyColor Inc nor their shareholders.

But why am I discussing this?

Why should non-vtuber fans care?

What I'm about to discuss now is an ongoing allegation that makes all the know facts even worse. If you support Palestine, you especially need to know about this ongoing allegation:

On Feb 5, ITOCHU Corp announced they would end their contract with an Israeli Defense Firm that they started March 2023- around the same time Nijisanji EN would annouced the termination without informing Selen (now Doki) that she was terminated. ITOCHU is a known shareholder of AnyColor Inc and does has the power to ask for public distractions. They are a monster firm among Japanese companies.

I cannot endorse #SinkTheYacht knowing Nijisanji livers are some of the worst collectively and consistently paid company VTubers in the industry, but if folks want to boycott AnyColor Inc's ceo, owners, shareholders, and management for their associations and ties to indirectly causing an ongoing genocide- then I support you. Sony Group Corp Japan, Bilibili Inc, & FreakOut Holdings Inc are a few shareholders that you can file public complaints towards about AnyColor's behavior and be wary of when choosing vtubers, streamers, youtubers, etc to support. But again ITOCHU and AnyColor's relationship is an allegation and speculation.

In my opinion

From an outsider perspective I believe an investigation into Nijisanji as a whole should've happened last year when so many people left or appeared to have left from management based pressure.

But as someone who holds many of the remaining livers with respect (and is a Kyomie) if indeed Nijisanji EN is telling the truth about livers and management bullying + doing nothing to stop it, then yes- every person responsible for ongoing bullying of at least 3 years should be terminated and black listed from the vtubing industry.

That all being said (if my gut is right) and none/the majority of the EN livers are not bullies then I also believe all currently contracted EN livers should be allowed to press charges aganist Nijisanji EN & AnyColor Inc for

1. Public defamation on an international scale due to the termination wording

2. Cuts to their already weird pay caused by the company's annoucements on Feb 5 & 6 2024

3. All documented mismanagement and bullying they've reported since being employed that led to emotional, physical, and financial losses

4. Losses to old and new merch sales the same week of Feb 5, 2024

The wording of the termination of Selen Tatsuki should be headed as a warning to an ongoing and well publicly documented management issues with AnyColor Inc and all their branches. If you're a vtuber who has or is planning to join Nijisanji EN- please get an attorney or lawyer if you choose to audition or are currently work for AnyColor Inc who's familiar with your nation's laws and Japan's laws. And remember to everyone, it takes hard work but being indie is possible- you don't need a company.

Thank you for reading this whole post and all fans please make the decisions and adjustments accordingly in regards to not #Sink TheYacht in such a fucking stupid fashion- don't be like the bullies who are managing your favorites. And god speed to all the EN Livers at KuroColor Inc who may end up seeing this on your private accounts- please know your fans will support you no matter what decisions you make but they hate your company and management for treating you like shit behind closed doors and out in the public. And if any of you do listen to my advice and find a legal expert to help you out, don't tell your management nor coworkers/friends/family, doubly if you don't have a copy of your most recent contract renewal/contract. Alright? Snakes can pass for tall grass, you need to be prepared to get bitten by the most unsuspecting blades when navigating your rights as a contracted streamer, entertainer, and employee.

[buckybarnesss]

If Cora was Stiles' age, wouldn't she have been in his grade before the fire? He knew of Derek and the Hale family but it just seems like Cora was written in last minute.

on this episode of heather versus the teen wolf timeline: cora hale.

here is what the timeline establishes:

all of season 1-3B takes place in 2011.

the hale fire was six years prior to the start of wolf moon. stiles is speaking hyperbolically when he says it was 10 years ago. we know it was six from what derek tells scott in magic bullet.

derek: six years ago, my sister and I were at school, and our house caught fire.

it's established that cora was 11 at the time of the hale fire in 2005. this comes from frayed during her and peter's conversation.

cora:  you've known me for seventeen years! peter: i knew you for eleven, leaving the last six unaccounted for. and i'm not particularly fond of things unaccounted.

she's 17 in visionary.

visionary takes place during the fall 2011 semester of the main pack's junior year.

in comparison to the others:

allison turned 17 in the tell which takes place at the end of january 2011. allison says she was held back due to all the moving around. she's the oldest in their cohort.

lydia turned 17 on march 19th in party guessed during season 2 on the worm moon. we know it was her 17th birthday due to the conversation lydia and natalie have about lorraine's ashes in time of death in season 4 which takes place during the spring semester 2012 of lydia's junior year.

natalie: because she wanted you to do it... when you turned eighteen. don't ask me why. but, since there's only a few weeks 'til that, i suppose now is as good a time as any.

stiles would've turned 17 in april according to his official birthday of april 8th.

scott didn't turn 17 until september as is official birthday is september 16th.

malia turned 17 on november 28th making her the youngest of their cohort.

other odds and ends:

theo was in the fourth grade with stiles and scott making him their age. his birthdate is incorrectly listed as 1998.

jackson was born june 5th so he turned 17 between seasons 2 and 3A.

malia was 9 years old at the time of the car accident that killed her mother and sister which puts it in 2003. 2 years before the hale fire.

now while we can acknowledge the real reasons why cora's timeline is so shaky is because they winged a lot of it but what's the fun in that? here on buckybarness dot tumblr dot com we do teen wolf academia.

now one does wonder how scott, stiles, lydia and isaac didn't know cora but there could be viable reasons for that.

i discovered that the law changed in california in 2000 to raise the kindergarten enrollment age to 5 years old by september 1st. prior to this if a child turned 5 on or before december 2nd they could enroll.

they all would've started kindergarten in 1999.

this might be why scott and malia are in the same school year as lydia and stiles rather than being in the year behind.

if they'd had the foresight they should've had allison turn 18 in season 1 and have her a legitimate full year older than the rest because like she's only 3 months older than lydia so it seems a bit odd she's so embarrassed by turning 17 when she has a birthday so close to lydia and stiles. for someone turning 18 and being a sophomore due to being held back? that'd be embarrassing to someone in the american school system.

now cora could've been born in late 1993 to early-mid 1994. she could've been a grade ahead if she was closer in age to allison than to scott. i do strongly suspect that talia and corrine had overlapping pregnancies and being pregnant at the time is one of the reasons talia coerced corrine into keeping her pregnancy with malia.

the tates could've had malia start school later than the rest because she would've been 4 at the start of the year rather than 5 even if the law at the time allowed it. she just joined the rest as juniors when she returned to society because it made sense to keep her with the friends she'd made and she was 17.

if cora was in the grade above she could've been in middle school while the others were still in elementary school or maybe both malia and cora attended different schools due to zoning.

maybe they were homeschooled.

we'll never really know but it's interesting to think about.

[yukipri]

You can add another to the list of people you've inspired to see Godzilla Minus One. I finally got to see it last night, and it was my first ever Godzilla film. Tbh, the genre has never super interested me, but seeing someone who I respect praise it so much, I had to give it a go. And boy, am I glad I did. I felt so much through all the scenes depicting PTSD, Kamiki Ryunosuke truly did so well in it, and it had me grinning and crying happy tears in the end. Phenomenal. If it doesn't win some awards (particularly Kamiki's performance, I will state again he was *fantastic*) I will be very upset on their behalf.

AHHH Thank you so much for sending this!! I'm ECSTATIC that you went to see Godzilla Minus One, and deeply humbled that you trusted my opinion on it.

It's truly...it feels so weird to say it, but almost a comfort movie?? Like its premise is so bleak, it really doesn't shy away from the true horrors of war and post-war, so you'd think it's dark and depressing. And yet, every time I've seen it, I leave the theater feeling so hopeful, even when coming back to this bleak world we live in irl rn.

This definitely isn't the only Godzilla movie I've watched, but by no means am I deep into the franchise. In fact, the past times I'd seen Godzilla were in academic settings discussing post-war Japan, since Godzilla has always been symbolic of that. The point of which being, as you experienced, you in no way need to have seen any other Godzilla film or even be familiar with the kaiju genre to enjoy it!

Kamiki truly was a phenomenal lead, but as I've mentioned in my other posts, every single actor and character was incredible. I'm glad they were nominated for one Oscar (VFX, though they should've been nominated for more tbh), and just. Last year there were a number of fantastic films that I really enjoyed. But none of them really shook me to the core as much as Godzilla Minus One.

ANYWAY, your ask came at the perfect time for me to mention that it's back in theaters in North America for just one week, for them to show the black 'n white version! Mum saw it in Japan and said that it added a whole 'nother flavor to it, making it seem like it was made in the era it's set in! I think the official dates are January 26~Feb 1, 2024, but my theater it's January 25~31st. If you haven't seen it yet, definitely give it a chance! You won't regret it.

❀ ❀ Send YukiPri an Ask! ❀ ❀

[cherryys]

I'm crying man atp I wished megumi was stuck in some coma that only wakes up in the last chapter for *mystery* because the more he is in these chapters and any trauma or any emotional moments are just avoided when it comes to megumi I'm just disappointed like why gege

it's funny seeing people go crazy for the hana and megumi moment like he's always been polite to her??? I guess it goes against people's depictions of him being a bitch to women for no particular reason like he can be mean and condescending but for the most part he tries to be polite

hana/megumi would just be another thing to add to my list of complaints surrounding megumi though if they ever have one it would so clearly be about pity and debt considering megumi acts the same before 266 (so much for that clear change and development am I right) it's so odd because megumi acts the same but the story just doesn't truly acknowledge that something really bad happened to him

and people called me crazy when I said his character became stagnant and reverted right back to where we started lol. nothing about him is addressed in any conclusive way—or any of the cast, really, but his is the most obvious because he's been given nothing since the start—and gege silences him in any emotional moment he SHOULD have, literally and figuratively. he never even made him say anything to tsumiki while burying her lmao we have genuinely lost the plot.

the reaction to the megumi & hana conversation was pretty weird because you have one side that thinks this means they're canon (? he literally rejects her in that scene) and the other side that thinks he should've been mean to her or cursed her out or something, when that's never been his character.

people have this misunderstanding that megumi is mean. like, deuteragonist-comepting-with-the-protagonist mean. like talks-shit-about-everyone sort of mean. but he's never been mean or rude to any stranger or his upperclasmen or even gojo. he just expresses annoyance with his extreme personality and over-the-top teasing, but he's never been rude to him. hell, he still speaks in polite speech with honorifics, and he does listen to him intently when gojo's talking seriously to him and respects his advice. Just because he puts on an aloof air about him (which just comes from his social awkwardness) doesn't mean he hates everyone except yuuji or something (which is a sentiment I've seen from the more intense shipping side of the fandom). He felt responsible for what happened with Hana and wanted to take action, which should've been a scene to show his kind nature that he denies he has, but everyone turned it into a sexuality/ship thing, which, tbh, I get why. gege didn't really give Megumi much to discuss about after 268. he took any defining qualities and flattened them for the sake of this cookie cutter ending so there was barely anything anymore to say about his character now, just what he was before or what he could've been. (thanks gege)

I don't think this was any indication that gege was ever gonna make them canon. if he did, he would've made megumi show any sort of interest, but he genuinely felt uncomfortable so I don't think he cares for it either lol (poor hana though he just keeps mistreating her the entire time)

and about your last comment, yeah. just seems they're gonna ignore anything that happened since 212. what the hell did megumi even go through all of this for then lmfao all he got were some cool scars and even those gege forgot to draw which showcases the care and effort put into his character these past 2 years LMAO

[love-imagineitall]

Taylor Swift Prompt List

Hello all! I have been severely lacking inspiration, but after listening to Taylor Swift for a while, I wanted to create a prompt list with some Taylor Swift songs.

So please request away! And if there are other taylor swift songs that are not on this list please feel free!

Debut

Tim McGraw: "When you think Tim McGraw I hope you think of me"

Picture To Burn: "As far as I'm concerned, you're just another picture to burn"

Should've Said No: "You should've said no, you should've gone home You should've thought twice 'fore you let it all go You should've known that word 'Bout what you did with her'd get back to me (Get back to me)"

Fearless

Fearless: " You take my hand and drag me head first, fearless And I don't know why but with you, I'd dance In a storm in my best dress, fearless"

Love Story: "Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess It's a love story, baby, just say, "Yes""

Hey Stephen: "Cause I can't help it if you look like an angel Can't help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain so Come feel this magic I've been feeling since I met you Can't help it if there's no one else Mmm, I can't help myself"

You Belong with Me: "If you could see that I'm the one who understands you Been here all along, so why can't you see? You belong with me, you belong with me"

Speak Now

Mine: "You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter You are the best thing that's ever been mine"

Back To December: "So this is me swallowing my pride Standin' in front of you sayin', "I'm sorry for that night""

The Story Of Us: " Now, I'm standin' alone in a crowded room And we're not speakin' And I'm dyin' to know Is it killin' you like it's killin' me?"

Red

I Knew You Were Trouble: "Cause I knew you werе trouble when you walked in So shamе on me now"

All Too Well: "And you call me up again Just to break me like a promise So casually cruel in the name of being honest"

We Are Never Getting Back Together: "We are never, evеr, ever gettin' back togеther"

I Bet You Think About Me: "I bet you couldn't believe When you realized I'm harder to forget than I was to leave And I bet you think about me"

1989

Style: "Say you'll remember me Standin' in a nice dress Starin' at the sunset, babe Red lips and rosy cheeks Say you'll see me again Even if it's just in your Wildest dreams"

Now That We Don't Talk: "I call my mom, she said that it was for the best Remind myself, the morе I gave, you'd want me less I cannot bе your friend, so I pay the price of what I lost And what it cost, now that we don't talk"

reputation

End Game: "I wanna be your end game (End game) I wanna be your first string (First string) I wanna be your A-Team (A-Team) I wanna be your end game, end game"

Don't Blame Me: "Don't blame me, love made me crazy If it doesn't, you ain't doin' it right"

Delicate: "My reputation's never been worse, so You must like me for me (Yeah, I want you) We can't make Any promises now, can we, babe? But you can make me a drink"

Gorgeous: "You're so gorgeous I can't say anything to your face 'Cause look at your face (Gorgeous) And I'm so furious At you for makin' me feel this way But what can I say? You're gorgeous"

Dress: "Only bought this dress so you could take it off"

New Year's Day: "Don’t read the last page But I stay when it's hard or it's wrong or we're makin’ mistakes I want your midnights But I'll be cleanin' up bottles with you on New Year's Day"

Lover

I Forgot That You Existed: "I forgot that you existed And I thought that it would kill me, but it didn't"

Lover: "I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue All's well that ends well to end up with you Swear to be overdramatic and true to my lover"

Paper Rings: "I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings"

Cornelia Street: "And I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends I'd never walk Cornelia Street again That's the kinda heartbreak time could never mend I'd never walk Cornelia Street again"

Daylight: "I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you I've been sleepin' so long in a twenty-year dark night And now I see daylight, I only see daylight"

Folklore

The 1: "But it would've been fun If you would've been the one"

Peace: "All these people think love's for show But I would die for you in secret The devil's in the details, but you got a friend in me Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?"

Evermore

Tolerate It: "If it's all in my head, tell me now Tell me I've got it wrong somehow I know my love should be celebrated But you tolerate it"

Happiness: "There'll be happiness after you But there was happiness because of you Both of these things can be true There is happiness"

Midnights

Midnight Rain: "He wanted it comfortable, I wanted that pain He wanted a bride, I was making my own name Chasing that fame, he stayed the same All of me changed like midnight"

Bejeweled: "Best believe I'm still bejeweled When I walk in the room I can still make the whole place shimmer"

Mastermind: "What if I told you none of it was accidental? And the first night that you saw me Nothing was gonna stop me"

[oranoyaora]

mended

iv. anew

ft. timeskip!oikawa tooru

warning(s): I don’t think there are any?

notes: ummm so I haven’t written for like months and I’m sorry??? idk if I should leave it at that, or keep going? (mended ch. list)

•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•

You had been stunned. You weren't expecting Oikawa to answer you, so when he did, you truly didn't know what to do next.

Silence.

"Look," you started, "I know it's been a really long time since we last talked, but..."

You really had no idea what to say.

"Um... I- sorry I..." you shook your head, brows furrowing as you sighed.

Silence followed again.

You looked down at your feet trying to remind yourself to be grounded and not chicken out. You finally got to this moment, and now you felt like running away and hiding under the covers of your comfortable bed.

You should've prepared more, you told yourself.

But really, how were you actually supposed to do that? You've worked yourself up so much, so many times just to get to where you are now.

"That's ok."

Your head whipped back up at Oikawa's response. That was much better than what you had initially imagined how it was going to go. The next sentence he threw at you almost made you stop breathing for a moment.

"I'm just really glad to hear your voice again."

You let out a sigh of relief. The unease you had felt going into this moment started to vanish. Oikawa's receptiveness made you start to let your guard down.

"Did I wake you," you asked softly.

"No," Oikawa rasped.

You silently chuckled, "You liar, I did, didn't I? I'm sorry."

"No, no, no, it's fine," the setter replied hastily.

Oikawa muttered something that you couldn't make out, prompting you to ask him what he said.

"I, uh, it's nothing," he shrugged, "I was just saying that I don't mind because it's you."

That made the corners of your lips tug up. He ended mumbling that last bit, but you could easily understand what he said.

"I'm really sorry for not keeping in touch, I-"

"Don't worry," Oikawa cut you off, "Iwa-chan had told me you were going through some things."

Your heart stopped for a second, "Did he tell you exactly what those things were?"

"No, he said that you would let me know when you were ready."

"Ah," you breathed, "ok."

"But, y/n..."

Oh how you missed your name being called out by him. Oikawa always had a teasing tone in his voice when he called you by your name. But this time, the teasing tone was absent. There was a tenderness that painted out the sound and syllables of your name.

"It's been almost two years... are you ok?"

Such a simple question. You knew Oikawa was being very careful. He was typically very nosy, but he was also very perceptive. That question cloaked a million other questions that Oikawa wanted ask.

It almost brought out some stray tears that had remained within you.

You smiled somberly, "I am now."

A comforting silence fell upon you two.

You're not sure what it was, but things were finally feeling right. Even after two years of not communicating with each other, you and Oikawa still seemed to be on the same page.

"Um," you were still a bit hesitant, "I also wanted to let you know that I found a job in Brazil."

This was definitely news. At first, Oikawa was excited to be in closer proximity to you after years of being thousands of miles apart. But then he realized that that bastard would be coming with you. Oikawa's excitement fizzled into something bitter.

The bitterness inside got the better of him.

"Oh, that's great," he quipped, "and I'm guessing what's-his-face is comin-"

"He's not in the picture anymore," you shut up Oikawa.

"Oh..."

That was all you had to say. Oikawa tried filling in the blanks, but didn't push you further. Don't get him wrong, Oikawa was definitely shocked. But the selfish part of him found a silver lining in your situation.

"Anyways," you softly deflected, "I just thought it would be nice to meet up when we both have the time."

The silver lining being the second chance that Oikawa never thought he was going to ever get. The initial bitterness he felt reverted back to excitement.

Oikawa sat up, propping himself against the headboard of his bed, "Yes."

He thinks he might've said that too quickly.

"I mean, uh, yeah," he tried to smoothly play it off, "just let me know when you get to Brazil, and I'll find time for you."

That last bit made you smile again.

"Oh, I, uh, forgot to mention that I'm already living in Brazil," you sheepishly said.

"Oh," Oikawa started, "well, that's perfect."

"Really?" You raised your eyebrows.

"Yeah," he said before whispering, "really perfect."

You were glad that the two of you were only on a phone call. If Oikawa saw how bashful you looked now, he would ruin the mood with his endless teasing.

On the other end, Oikawa fell into a dreamy state. He couldn't believe this was real. It wasn't until now did he realize how much he yearned to talk to you again.

Knowing that you currently live in the same continent as him made Oikawa nearly evaporate. What were the odds that you suddenly appeared so close to him when the two of you seemed like strangers.

"Ok," you felt a little giddy, "well I'll let you go since it's late."

"I don't mind," the setter bluntly stated.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Oikawa reassured you, "I have the day off tomorrow anyways."

"Ah, but I don't want to take up time during your day off-"

"Y/n."

"Yes?"

"I'm telling you that I want to stay up and talk to you," Oikawa resolutely stated.

You paused before attempting to convince Oikawa that you wanted to respect his time again.

He wanted to do these things for you. When was the last time someone had done that for you? Oikawa desired to stay up late because he got to talk to you and hear your voice. Because it's you.

Something pleasant bubbled up inside you as a grin broke out onto your face. You're glad Oikawa made it clear to you. Why?

... because you both ended up talking until the sun started to rise.